Body Language for Leaders

Understanding how body-language signals are perceived

- The senior vice president of a Fortune 500 company is speaking at a
leadership conference in New York. Now he's a polished presenter with an
impressive selection of organizational "war stories" delivered with a
charming sense of humor. The audience likes him; they like him a lot.Then,
as he finishes his comments, he folds his arms across his chest and says,
"I'm open for questions. "Please ask me anything." At this point, there's a
noticeable shift of energy in the room, from engagement to uncertainty. The
audience that was so attentive only moments agois now unable to think of
anything to ask.
I was at that event, and later I interviewed members of the audience, none
of whom recalledthe arm movement, but all of whom
remembered struggling to come up with a question. So what do you think
happened? How could a simple gesture that the audience wasn't even
aware of have had such an immediate impact? We continue to find out
more and more about how body language affects the messages we're
trying to send, and one of the findings from evolutionary psychology is that
our brains are hardwired to respond to nonverbal cues even though most of
us aren't consciously aware of the process.
All leaders express enthusiasm, warmth, and confidence as well as
arrogance, indifference, and displeasure through their posture, their facial
expressions, hand gestures, and use of space. The key to being an
effective nonverbal communicator is to realize that the impact of these
signalsdepends less on what you meant, and more on how most people
interpret those signals. So what the conference speaker needed to
realize was that most people in the audience would unconsciously read his
crossed arms as a signal that he wasn't at all open for questions.
A classic and often misquoted study by Albert Mehrabian at UCLA found
that the total impact of a message is based only seven percent on the
words used. Much more important are facial expressions and other forms of
body language, responsible for 55% of the total impact, and tone of voice,
responsible for 38%. Well obviously you can't listen to a person speaking a
foreign language and understand 93% of what's being communicated by
simply observing their body language. Mehrabian was only studying the
communication of emotions, particularly the feelings of liking and disliking.
But emotions are a big part of your impact as a leader because emotions
are highly infectious.We all tend to mimic the postures and expressions of
those we work with. As a leader, any strong emotion you display, like
enthusiasm or disgust, will cause the people around you to automatically
mirror or copy that expression. And it isn't just a physical response, since
that facial expression will start to trigger the corresponding feeling. That's
why smiling at someone can brighten up their day, while angry frowns
upset them.
Body language also plays a crucial role in making sure your team truly
understands key messages. If you're going to talk about new initiatives or
major change, or if you have any bad news to deliver, my advice is to do so
in person. Remember, it's only in face-to-face encountersthat our brains
process that continual cascade of nonverbal cues that we use as the basis
for building trust and professional intimacy, both of which are crucial to
persuasion and good communication.

Misreading body language

- Body language was the basis for our earliest form of
communication. When the split second ability to realize if someone was
safe or dangerous was often a matter of life or death.Nonverbal signals still
help us form quick impressions, but as innate as this ability may be, not all
of our impressions are accurate. The problem is that the world has
changed, but our body reading ability is still based on a primitive, emotional
reaction that hasn't changed much since humans began interacting with
one another. Because we all make mistakes when reading body
language, your nonverbal signals won't always convey what you intended
them to.
In fact, you can count on people making five major mistakes. First, they'll
look for the negative.People you work with are constantly trying to evaluate
your state of mind by monitoring your body language. And since the human
brain pays more attention to negative messages than it does to positive
ones, people are mainly on the alert for any sign that indicates you're in a
bad mood and not to be bothered. So you may be more
comfortable standing with your arms crossed, or you may be cold, but don't
be surprised when others judge that gesture as resistant and
unapproachable.
Second, they won't consider the context. You can't really make sense of
someone's nonverbal message unless you understand the circumstances
behind it. That's called context. Context is this weave of variables that can
include location, relationships, time of day, past experiences,and even
things like room temperature. Depending on the context, the same
nonverbal signalcan have a totally different meaning. Someone hunched
over and hugging herself while sitting outside on a cold day sends a very
different message than that same person in that same position sitting at her
desk.
One says, "I'm cold!" The other, "I'm in distress." There's some pieces of
context that aren't so obvious, and your colleagues won't always have
access to these insights. So if you yawn in the staff meeting because you
were up early for an international call, let people know why you're
tired. Without this context, they may think you're just bored. Third, they'll
find meaning in one gesture. All too often your colleagues will assign
meaning to a single, and sometimes totally irrelevant, nonverbal cue.
In reality, nonverbal cues occur in what's called the gesture cluster. Now
that's a group of movements, postures, and actions that reinforce each
other. A single gesture can have many meanings, or mean nothing at
all. During a conversation, for example, you might look at your watch for
any number of reasons. But when that action is coupled with a glance at a
door,drumming fingers on the table, and hands on thighs, that seated
readiness position, it would be a cluster of signals that say you're finished
talking and ready to leave.
The problem is that people may jump to the wrong conclusion when you
take that first glance at your watch. So if you were just checking to make
sure you're not late for your next appointment, you need to say so. Fourth,
they won't know your baseline. Observing how a person normally
behaves helps you spot meaningful changes from that baseline
behavior. Now here's what can happen when you don't know someone's
baseline. A few years ago, I was giving a presentation to the CEO of a
financial services company, outlining a speech I was to deliver to his
leadership team the next day, and it wasn't going well.
Our meeting lasted almost an hour, and through that entire time the CEO
sat at the conference table with his arms tightly crossed. He didn't smile,
lean forward, or nod encouragement. When I finished, he said, "Thank
you," without making eye contact and left the room. As I'm a body language
expert, I was sure that his nonverbal communication was telling me that my
speaking engagement would be canceled, but when I walked to the
elevator, the Executive's Assistant came to tell me how impressed her boss
had been with my presentation.
I was shocked and asked what he would've done had he not liked it? "Oh,"
said the Assistant,"He would've gotten up in the middle of the meeting "and
walked out." You see the only nonverbal signals I'd received from that
CEO were ones I judged to be negative. What I didn't realize was that this
was his normal baseline behavior. Fifth, they'll evaluate you through an
array of biases. Now there's a woman in my yoga class who liked me from
the moment we met.
I'd prefer to believe that this was due to my charismatic personality, but I
know for a fact it's because I resemble her favorite aunt. When biases work
in your favor, it's called the Halo Effect,but biases can also work against
you. What if instead of someone they like, you remind people of someone
they despise? You might overcome it with time, but you can bet that their
initial response to you won't be a good one. Cultural biases are those
shared values that determine which nonverbal behaviors feel normal and
right, and which feel strange or wrong.
When dealing with people from different backgrounds, realize that cultural
biases interfere with their ability to accurately judge your motives. From
greetings, to the amount of emotion displayed, to the use of touch and
space. What's deemed proper and correct in one culture may be ineffective
or offensive in another. So what about you? As I was sharing these five
mistakes,what came to mind? Can you think of times your body
language has been misunderstood?Maybe it was a business meeting that
went wrong, or a misunderstanding with your spouse.
We all have nonverbal cues that can send the wrong messages. What cues
of yours are most likely to be misunderstood?
Getting your body language to match your words
- Imagine that you're the chief executive officer of an oil company, you've
just arrived at a refinery to speak to a group of operators, electricians and
warehouse workers. They're all dressed in fire retardant coveralls, you're
wearing a designer suit, white shirt and power tie.After being introduced
you walk very carefully to the front of the room, after all you don't want to
get your suit stained. You remove your expensive wristwatch, and quite
visibly place it on the lectern. Your unspoken message is, "I'm a very
important person, "I'm uncomfortable in dirty places like this, "and I have
exactly 20 minutes to spend with you." That message, is of course, quite
different from the words you used to begin your comments, "I'm so happy to
be with you today," but which do you think the refinery workers will
believe, your words or your body language? Here's what research
finds, when your body language doesn't match your words,your verbal
message is lost.
Neuroscientists at Colgate University studied the effects of gestures by
using electroencephalographs, EEG machines, to measure brainwaves that
form peaks and valleys.One of these valleys called N400, occurs when
people listen to nonsensical language. N400 also happens when subjects
are shown gestures that contradict what's spoken. In a very real way, when
your words say one thing, and your gestures indicate another you don't
make sense, and when forced to choose between your verbal and
nonverbal messages, people will instinctively believe what they see and not
what you say.
That's why it's crucial for you as a leader to communicate congruently, that
is to align what you say with body language that supports your
words. When your nonverbal signals sabotage your verbal messages
people become confused. These mixed messages have a negative effect
on performance, and make it almost impossible to build relationships of
trust. If you stand in front of your team, and talk about how much you
welcome their input, the message gets derailed if you have a forced
smile, or lean away from the team, or don't maintain eye contact.
All of these are disengaged signals, when your intended message is about
inclusiveness. Then there's the matter of timing. If you gesture just before
or as you speak, you appear to be open and candid. However, if you speak
first and then gesture, as I've seen many leaders do, it's unconsciously
perceived as phony, and at that point the validity of whatever you're saying
comes under suspicion. There's no doubt that you can gain a professional
advantage by learning how to use body language more effectively, and I
know you'll get a lot of tips and techniques from this course, but body
language is more than a set of techniques, it's also a reflection of your true
internal state.
Here's a recent example, the HR manager who brought me into the
company to coach an executive, warned me that she was a pretty crummy
speaker, and after watching her at a leadership conference I was in total
agreement. It wasn't what she said, her words were carefully chosen and
well-rehearsed. It was how she looked when she spoke. She was verbally
telling people that the upcoming change would be good for them, while her
entire body was screaming, "I'm uncomfortable and unconvinced "about
everything I'm saying." There wasn't much I could do to help.
Oh sure, I could find ways to make her movements less mechanical and
her timing more fluid,but if a person doesn't generally care about or believe
in what she's saying her body language will eventually give her away. What
that executive needed most was authentic enthusiasm, and passion about
the company's new strategy, because what employees saw when this
leaderspoke was exactly how she really felt. The main thing I want you to
take away from this is that body language can't hide your innermost
feelings. In fact, in most cases it reveals those feelings.
Take time to think about how you really feel about the current project you're
asking your team to work on. If you secretly think it's a waste of time and
resources, then you need to understand that you won't fool your team for
long. Your negative attitude will be reflected in your nonverbal behavior. If,
on the other hand, you believe that the project is important and
interesting, then you can be assured that your genuine enthusiasm will be
reflected through your body language.

Six keys to making a positive first impression

- In business first impressions are crucial, and they're made faster than you
think. In fact, in seven seconds or less, people will have judged your
trustworthiness, competence, warmth, and confidence, and once someone
mentally labels you as likeable or unlikeable, powerful or submissive,
trustworthy or devious, everything else you do will be viewed through that
filter.While you can't stop people from making these snap
decisions, because that's how the human brain is wired, you can
understand how to make these decisions work in your favor.
First impressions are heavily influenced by nonverbal cues. In fact, studies
have found that body language has over four times the impact on the
impression you make than anything you say. We all want to deal with
people who are energizing and engaging, and who put us at ease,and
make us feel good about ourselves. Luckily, these are the very qualities
that you canproject nonverbally in those first crucial seconds. Here are six
powerful keys to making a positive first impression.
First, adjust your attitude. People pick up your attitude instantly, so before
you go into the conference room to meet with your team, or enter
someone's office for a sales call or job interview, think about the
situation, and make a conscious choice about the attitude you want to
embody. Attitudes that attract people include friendly, happy, receptive,
patient, approachable, welcoming, helpful and curious.
Attitudes that are off putting include angry, impatient, bored, arrogant,
afraid, depressed and suspicious. The next key is to check your
posture. Do this with me, raise your shoulders towards your ears, now roll
them back, now drop them down, perfect. Keeping your posture erect, your
shoulders back in this position, and your head held high makes you look
very sure of yourself.Next smile, a smile is the facial expression we like the
most.
It's an invitation of welcome, it says I'm friendly and approachable. A tip
here is to enter the room with a small smile, and let it widen as you look at
the other person. It's also important to make eye contact. Looking at
someone's eyes transmits energy, and indicates openness. By the way,
most of us don't really take advantage of this nonverbal cue, to improve
your eye contact make a practice of noticing the eye color of every one you
meet. This will encourage you to extend your gaze a bit longer than usual.
Another key is to raise your eyebrows. Briefly open your eyes slightly more
than normal to simulate the eyebrow flash, that's a universal signal of
friendly recognition. Finally, lean in.Leaning towards someone shows you're
engaged and interested in them, but be respectful of the other person's
personal space. That means in most business situations staying about two
feet away. I've got one more tip for you, although this one comes later in
your interaction, you can create a lasting and positive impact by adding a
single nonverbal component to one simple word.
Here's how you do it, when you meet someone and they tell you their
name, find a way to repeat that name during your conversation, and as you
do touch the person lightly on the arm.The powerful impact of this brief
touch comes from the fact that you've triggered positive feelings by
remembering and using their name, and as you touch them these positive
emotionsget linked or anchored to your touch. Then at future meetings you
can reactivate that good feeling by once again lightly touching their arm.
Every encounter from conferences to training sessions to business lunches
presents an opportunity to network and expand your professional
contacts. When is the next time you expect to meet someone new? Plan
now for how you want to be perceived by thinking of the nonverbal cues
that would enhance that positive impression in those first crucial seconds.
Ten key elements to shaking hands
- Did you know that your handshake may be what someone remembers
most about meeting you? That's because touch is the most primitive and
powerful nonverbal cue. In fact a study on handshakes show that people
are twice as likely to remember you if you shake hands with them. The
researchers also found that people react to those with whom they shake
hands by being more open and friendly. But be aware that people often
make personality judgementsbased on the kind of handshake you
have. I've seen a weak handshake mark someone as too timid for a sales
position.
I've also noticed that the bonecrusher, that macho handshake, in which a
person squeezes too tightly almost always gives the impression of being
overbearing or insensitive. And when someone offers a straight arm
handshake, creating more distance between him or her and the other
person, it's evaluated as distrust or aloofness. For a perfect business
handshake, here are 10 suggestions to keep in mind. First, stand up. You
should always stand when being introducedto someone and when
extending your hand.
You also want to make sure your right hand is free to shake hands, so shift
your purse, briefcase, beverage, or cell phone to your left hand, so you're
ready for action. Remember to make eye contact. When shaking
hands, look directly into the other person's eyes. Direct eye contact at this
moment leads to greater feelings of connection. Next, smile. When you
smile it causes the other person automatically to smile in return. And due to
a phenomenon known as facial feedback, where facial expressions are
linked to their corresponding emotions, that return smile can actually make
the other person feel happier.
Another great tip is to square off. Keep your body square to your
counterpart, facing him or her fully. Next, offer your hand with the palm
facing sideways. If you extend your hand with the palm facing up, it makes
you look submissive. When your palm is facing down, or if you twist your
hand downward during the handshake, it sends the message that you feel
superior,because you've quite literally given yourself the upper hand. But
when you offer your hand sideways, it sends a message of equality and
collaboration.
Next, make sure you have palm-to-palm contact, and that the web of your
hand, the skin between your thumb and first finger, touches the web of the
other person's hand. Research with sales people indicates that if customers
don't get this full palm contact, they may feel uncomfortable for the rest of
the interaction, and respond by being less likely to buy. Be sure to shake
hands firmly. Now this is especially true if you're a female. Women with a
firm handshake make a more favorable impression and are judged to be
confident and competent.
Another tip is to start talking before you let go of the other person's
hand. "It's great to meet you," or "I'm so glad to be here." Finally, keep your
eyes up. When you break away and step back, remember to keep your
eyes level. When you look down, it's a submissive signal. And you want
your final impression to be one of warmth and self-confidence. The great
thing about practicing your handshake is you have so many opportunities to
do so.
Start with friends and family members, and try adding these key elements
one at a time until you feel comfortable with all of them. Soon it'll be second
nature, and you'll be well on your way to having a perfect business
handshake every time.

Establishing leadership presence

- A new manager was attending a staff meeting. When it was over, her
boss took her aside."Never do that again," he said. "You were slouching
and not paying attention." "But I was paying attention," the manager
insisted. "I heard every word. "I'm totally on board." "That's all well and
good," her boss went on, "but that's not how you came across to
others. "You didn't look like you were "really present at the meeting. "You
didn't look like a leader." Body language plays a key role in being perceived
as a leader. Here are three tips for increasing your leadership presence.
First, sit tall. I invite you to try this right now. Sit in a chair with your legs
crossed. Now, bring your elbows in to your waist. Clasp your hands
together and place them on your lap. Then, slightly round your
shoulders. Now, say, "I'm confident and powerful." In that posture,
regardless of anything you said, most people would judge you as
submissive and powerless.Remember to sit tall.
Pull your shoulders back, bring your elbows away from your body, uncross
your legs, and place your feet solidly on the floor. It will not only change the
way people perceive you, it will influence the way you feel about yourself. In
fact, an Ohio State University study found that people who sat up straight
were more likely to believe the positive comments they wrote about their
qualifications for a job. Those who slumped over were less likely to accept
their own statements as valid. The second tip is to claim your space.
Leadership presence is non-verbally displayed in the use of height in
space. In fact, I've watched two executives of similar heights meeting for
the first time and saw both men unconsciously stretch their bodies to
increase the perception of tallness. If you're seated around a conference
table, stand when you speak, and you'll gain instant status by becoming, for
that moment at least, the tallest person in the room. If you move around,
the additional space you take up will add to that impression, and if you're
sitting, you can still project authority by spreading out your belongings on
the table and claiming more territory.
Finally, use confident gestures. Hand gestures that supplement what you're
saying can add energy, excitement, and passion, but over-gesturing,
especially when your hands are raisedabove your shoulders, can make you
appear out of control, less believable, and less powerful.Projecting certainty
and authority is achieved by using smooth, controlled gestures, mostly at
waist level. When you want to take control, use palm down hand
signals. Hold that thought.
I'll be back to you in a minute. You've probably seen the steeple
gesture. It's a favorite of executives and politicians, and it conveys a sense
of assuredness. As such, it can be very effective when you want to
emphasize a key point, but if you use that gesture, do so sparingly.Leaders
who overuse steepling look staged and insincere. Moving your hands and
arms away from the front of your torso is another way of demonstrating a
high level of confidence, security, and trust.
The more you cover your body with folded arms or clasped hands, the
more it appears that you need to protect or defend yourself. The next time
you attend a meeting, become curious about what your body language is
saying about your leadership presence. Ask yourself, "Do I look like a
leader?" Then, make some minor adjustments. Maybe sit a little
straighter, claim a little more space, or smooth out your gestures and let
your body language become a leadership asset.