EXPRESSING ANGER AND RESOLVING CONFLICT

A. Expressing Anger
Expressing anger is used to show that someone is angry.
There are several possibble ways to express anger or hostily:
 Blowing off steam: Many times, a person who is angry will “blowoff steam” by voicing anger
to the nearest simpathetic listener, rather than the person he or she is angry, the listeners try to
console the angry person by angreeing with his or her anger, or by tryng to play peace maker
and resolve the conflict.
 Mild rebuke, perhaps the most difficult way of expressing anger, this is the most acceptable of
those strategies outlined here. A person who make a mild rebuke states what is making him or
her angry and suggest a way of solving the problem.
 Silence. The angry person uses non-verbal (without words) gestures to show emotion, such as
an icy stare. Some people do not like this method, however, since they belive that people
should talk about their problems. Some people will even get madif they are given the silent
treatment.
 Sarcasm. This technique involves using nice word in a very unnice way. Usually, that is an
intonation that makes the difference. A false smile also accompany th words. Many people
consider sarcasm offensive, especially when use very often.
 Screaming and yelling. In this strategy, the ide is to talk loud and fast, mixig in as many swear
words as possible. Door slamming may be used to punctuate the sentences. This type of
behaviour, although widespread is not considered appropriate. A person using this method is
consider to be out of control or acting like child.
 Threatening. This usually happens after a initial period of screming and yelling. This is also
not considered appropriate.

Phrase

Blowing off steam Response

It annoys me when ... I don’t like it either

(itu sangat mengganggu saya saat ...) (saya juga tidak menyukainya)

I don’t like it when ... I don’t like it either

(saya tidak suka saat ...) (saya jug tidak menyukainya)
 I can’t stand it when ... I know what you mean
(saya tidak bisa menerima saat ...) (saya mengerti maksudmu)

It burns me up when ... Me, too

(itu sangat menyakitkan buat saya saat ...) (saya juga)

I hate it when ... So do I

(saya benci saat ...) (begitu juga dengan saya)

Here is some expression of anger which is less formal. but notice that we have to avoid using some of
these phrase.
 Iam very angry / I am absolutely livid/ I am peeved/ I am upset
(Saya sangat marah / Saya benar-benar marah / kesal saya / aku marah)
 You deserve it!
(Kamu pantas mendapatkannya!)
 Stop it! / Enough! / Shut up!
(Hentikan! / Cukup! / Diam!)
 You are playing with fire! Get away from me!
(Anda sedang bermain dengan api! Menjauh dari saya!)
 No way! / Hands off!
(Tidak mungkin! / Lepaskan tanganku!)
 Don’t play innocent! / Don’t play dumb!
(Jangan berlagak bodoh / Jangan berlagak bodoh!)
 You are so disgusting! / You can go to hell!
(Anda begitu menjijikkan! / Anda bisa pergi ke neraka!)
 Don’t bother me.
(Jangan mengganggu saya.)

B. Resolving conflict
Conflict resolution is conceptualized as the methods and processes involved in facilitating the
peaceful ending of conflict and retribution. When there is a conflict, the best thing to do is to
try to resolve it so that relationships remain good. Some people avoid discussing a conflict.
Others become angry themselves.
Three ways to resolve a conflict:
 Apologize. This invove accepting responsibility for the offense. An apologi is often the best
response to an expression of anger and, if sencere, will help to calm the other person down.
An apology may have to be repeated before the other person will accept it.
 Offer to discuss the matter. If someone is angry with you, but you dont know why, the best
thing to do is ask: “I’m sorry you’re angry, but I don’t understand why. Please, let’s disscus it
calmly.”
 Find a mediator. If you “blow off steam” to a friend, you can sometimesget advice on how to
settle a conflict or can possiblyget your friend to intercede with the persn who is angry. He or
she can disscus the dispute and then get the two of you together again.
Phrase

Resolving Conflict Response

I’d like to discuss this matter That would be a good idea (itu
(saya ingin membicarakan sebuah hal yang bagus)
masalah )

Can we discuss this

(bisakah kita membicarakan ini )

Please. Let’s disscus this Yes, Lets.

(tolonglah, mari kita membicarakan (ya, ayo)
ini)

Don’t be angry. Lets talk it over

(jangan marah. Ayo kita bicarakan)

Come on. Don’t be mad

(ayolah. Jangan marah)
Dialogue
Melanie : Hi, Carole!
Carole : Hi, Melanie! This should be a great show. Let’s go in!
Melanie : Sure. Say, did you bring my book
Carole : Your book? Oh, nuts!I completely forgot!
Melanie : You Forgot? But You promised! I need it to study for the test. Oh, I knew I
never should have loaned it to you.
Carole : Calm down, Melanie. I just forgot. Look, after the show we can drive by the
house and pick it up.
Melanie : It’s pretty far out of the way. But I guess we’ll have to.
Carole : Don’t worry. I’ll treat you to a pizza to make it up to you.
Melanie : well, Ok.

Translate:
Melanie : Hai, Carole
Carole : Hai Melanie. Ini akan jadi pertunjukan yang bagus. Ayo masuk.
Melanie : Tentu saja. sudahkah kamu membawa bukuku?
Carol : Bukumu? Ya ampun. Aku benar-benar lupa.
Melanie : Kamu lupa? Tapi kamu sudah janji! Aku membutuhkannya untuk belajar
sebelum ujian. Oh, aku tahu aku tidak seharusnya meminjamkannya padamu
Carole : Tenanglah, Melanie. Saya hanya menlupakannya. Lihat, setelah ini kita bisa
pergi ke rumah dan mengambilnya.
Melanie : sebenarnya itu sangat jauh. Tapi menurutku kita harus mengambilnya.
Carole : Jangan khawatir. Saya akan mentraktir Pizza untuk menebusnya.
Melanie : Baiklah.