Alvarez 1

Maria Alvarez

Professor Jennifer Rodrick

English 115

18 November 2019

Maria’s Journey

In the novel ​Play It As It Lays ​by Joan Didion we are introduced to the main character

Maria. Maria was affected by a lot of things that happen in her early ages that left her with

trauma and confusion. These things led to her being vulnerable to men taking advantage of her

later in her life. Throughout the course of the novel Maria changes and she starts to get control of

her life stops letting man take things away from her. Maria goes from being someone people can

take advantage of to being someone that takes control of her life. The things that caused this

changes were her daughter and her experiences with man.

At the beginning of the novel we learn that Maria’s mom died in a terrible way. Maria

says “The night my mother ran the car off the highway I was with a drunk rich boy… I didn't

know about it for a couple of weeks because the coyotes tore her up before anybody found her”

(Didion 8). This was traumatic for Maria because she never got closure on her mother's death

one because she did not find out until later and the way her mother die it seems like she

committed suicided. This is really important to Maria because when she drives on the freeway

that is when she feels she has the most control of her life, this is when she knows that regardless

of what is going on around her, she still has that bit of control. We learn that the fall after she left
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Carter she would drive on the freeway a lot, she had a routine that she could not break; “She be

on the freeway by ten o’clock. Not somewhere on Hollywood Boulevard, not on her way to the

freeway but actually on the freeway. If she was not she lost the days rhythm. Once she was on

the freeway and had maneuvered her way to a fast lane she turned on the radio at high volume

and she drove” (Didion 15). This here shows the way Maria sees the freeway as an escape from

everything that is going on in her life the freeway serves Maria as a way of coping with the pain

of the divorce. We also learn that Maria always “returned to an intricate stretch… where a

successful passage… required a diagonal move across four lanes of traffic. On the afternoon she

finally did it without once breaking or once losing the beat on the radio she was exhilarated, and

that night slept dreamlessly.” (Didion 16). This is another way we see Maria feeling in control of

her life due to her driving on the freeway. Maria driving on the freeway it gives her a sense of

control, she knows that while driving she has the absolute control over her life, this is due to her

knowing that her mom took her life while driving.

Maria was always taken advantage of by the men that have been in her life because they

all had taken something from her. For example, she felt as if carter took away her identity.

When Maria met an actor that did not know who she was, Maria “did not much like him but she

liked his not knowing her” (Didion 152). This is because this was the first time Maria felt she

was somebody other than Carter’s wife or ex-wife. She felt like she was finally her own person

even when the guys did not even know her name. Another thing that Carter took away from

Maria was power over her own body. When Carter called Maria to give her the number of the

doctor that performed aborthions she said “I’m not sure I want to do that,” (Didion 54) to which

he replied “Alright don’t do it. Go ahead and have this kid… And I’ll take Kate away.” (Didion
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54). This made Maria take the biggest decision of her life even though Carter did not really leave

her with a choice because Maria knew that if she kept the baby Carter would have left her

without Kate and with out a single penny. In the article “​Victimization and Revictimization

Among Women of Mexican Descent” ​by Nora Motalvo Liendo she studied women of Mexican

descent that were born in Mexico and the United States to gain more understanding on why is it

that they stay in these relationships and always end up being the victims. A 35-year old woman

decided to tell the story of when her husband “​found out she was pregnant and tried to force her

to take an abortion pill. When she refused to take the pill, he dragged her down a stairwell and

attempted to throw her out of the house.” (Liendo 8). After this happen this woman decided to

tell her sister about the incident and her sister asked how come she did not report him to which

the woman reply ‘‘What for? The judge did not do anything the 1rst time I reported him.’’

(Liendo 8). This ​relates back to Maria because as well as that woman, Maria feels like she can

not disagree with Carter because Carter has more power than her and people know Carter more

than they know her so everyone will take Carter’s side. Maria as well as other women live in fear

of what the man can do and submit to any demand that the man have because nobody steps up

for them, nobody stepped up for Maria.

After getting the abortion’done Maria thought that was the last time a man was going to

take something away from her, Carter could not take anything else away. The doctor scraping

away her unborn fetus was the last thing she thought a man would take away from her but later

in May, Maria met an actor that she had never met before. She then had sex with the actor but

“before he came he reached under the pillow and pulled out an amyl nitrite popper and boke it

under his nose, breather in rapidly, and closed his eyes. “Don't Move” he said… His eyes were
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still closed… “Wake me up in three hours, with your tongue.” (Didion 153). This was the lowest

someone had ever treated Maria, he took away the sense of her being a human being a treated her

like an object, like a sex doll. She had had enough of everyone mistreating her so she took his

Ferrari and drove away with it to Tonopha where her mother had died. Maria went to where her

mother had died because un-subconsciously she wanted to end her life too ,because she had had

enough of man treating her the way they did. In the Youtube clip ​Chicago- Cell Block Tango

from the movie Chicago directed by Rob Marshall we see most of these women were fed up with

the way men treated them and therefore end up killing them. This relates a lot to Maria because

as well as these women Maria was so hurt and full of these bad emotions that became too much

for her, but instead of killing someone Maria wanted to kill herself which she would have done if

it wasn’t for the cops that stopped her.

After that incident Maria started to change and she started to become more in control of

her life but someone that help Maria get full control of her life was BZ because although most of

her life Maria was always taken advantage of by men there was one man that did not, instead he

let her take control of situations. The day that Maria had a threesome with BZ and Helen we

learned that she was also encouraging BZ to hit Hellen because the next morning when BZ hits

Helen again and Maria tells him to stop BZ said “You weren't talking that way last night”

(Didion 164). This demonstrates that Maria even though she was intoxicated part of her was still

conscious enough to participate in Helens beating. This is probably because that was the first

time a man made Maria feel like she had power, a voice and a choice and she was not the one

getting hurt but doing the hurting. Another thing that shows Maria gaining control of her life and

BZ giving her the choice to do whatever she wanted to was when BZ commits suicide “He was
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swallowing the capsules with a glass of water… “Take my hand. Go back to sleep.” (Didion

213). Here we see that not once did BZ forced her to take any of the pills, they both knew what

was going to happen and Maria took the decision of not taking her life. By not taking her life

Maria shows that she has changed and she shows that she now has control of what happens to

her.

Overall Maria was the character that had a significant change throughout the whole novel

because she went from being someone that would constantly be put down and taken control of to

being someone that controlled her own life. She realized at the end of all the mistreating by men

that the one that holds the most power over her life is her because she understood she was the

one that was able to control her own life. Maria knows this now because she had all these bad

experiences with man and going through that and overcoming it is what her her the strength to

take control of her life. Two people that helped Maria gain control of her life were Kate her

daughter, because the love of a mother can overcome it all, and BZ because he was the first man

that respected her and let her choose her own way.
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Works Cited

Didion, Joan. ​Play It as It Lays.​ Pocket Books, 1978.

Liendo, Nora Montalvo, et al. “Victimization and Revictimization Among Women of

Mexican Descent.” ​Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing,​ vol. 40, no. 2, 2011,

pp. 206–214. Accessed 11/19/2019

https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.libproxy.csun.edu/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1552-6909.2011.01

230.x

​ ritten by Bill Condon, directed by Rob Marshall.

“Cell Block Tango​”, Chicago, w

Youtube. Publised by Pablo5000- Accessed 11/19/2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1qQCFQCneA