STOP

YELLING
& be the parents you want to be
Many parents feel that if they yell, their children are more likely to
listen to them. Have you ever felt that way? If RasulAllah (pbuh) never
needed to yell at children in order to get them to cooperate, then that
tells us that there is something better that we can do.

Shouting at children is a form of emotional abuse that has been proven

to be ineffective, emotionally distressing and harmful for your own
health. It is possible to communicate effectively with your children
without resorting to yelling - it's not the volume of your voice that
ensures you are heard by your children - rather, it's the way that you
communicate.

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What happens to your children when there is persistent
yelling
SELF-CONFIDENCE 
A child who grows up in a home where they are being yelled at on a daily basis will tend
to have low self-confidence and self-esteem. They will perceive themselves as
insignificant and unworthy, which takes a toll on their academic and social development.

AGGRESSION
By the time a child reaches the age of 4 or 5 years old, if they have been raised in an
environment where they have been shouted at regularly, they are more likely to display
aggressive behaviors themselves.

FEAR
Many kids who are constantly yelled at become fearful and timid, which results in an
inability to deal with conflict or develop friendships.

CONCENTRATION PROBLEMS
When a child is yelled at on a regular basis, he learns to 'tune it out' as a self-preserving
mechanism. This effort to temporarily defend themselves against a verbal assault
unfortunately results in a lack of concentration in other areas of their life.

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What happens to you when you yell
AFFECTS YOUR HEART HEALTH
Nothing damages the physical structure of the heart more than anger. In the 2 hours
following an angry outburst, the risk for heart attack doubles.

INCREASED RISK FOR STROKE

If you’re prone to lashing out, beware. One study found there was a three times higher
risk of having a stroke from bleeding or a blood clot to the brain during the two
hours after an angry outburst. For people with an aneurysm in one of the brain’s arteries,
there was a six times higher risk of rupturing this aneurysm following an angry outburst.

WEAKENED IMMUNE SYSTEM

If you yell a lot, you just might find yourself feeling sick more often. In one study, Harvard
University scientists found that in healthy people, simply recalling an angry experience
from their past caused a six-hour dip in levels of the antibody immunoglobulin A, the
cells’ first line of defense against infection.

INCREASED ANXIETY
If you’re a worrier, it’s important to note that anxiety and anger can go hand-in-hand. In a
2012 study, researchers found that anger can exacerbate symptoms of generalized
anxiety disorder (GAD), a condition characterized by an excessive and uncontrollable
worry that interferes with a person’s daily life.

DEPRESSION
Numerous studies have linked depression with aggression and angry outbursts,
especially in men.

DAMAGE TO LUNGS
Not a smoker? You still could be hurting your lungs if you're a perpetually angry, hostile
person. A Harvard University study showed that men with high hostility ratings had
significantly worse lung capacity, which increased their risk of respiratory problems. The
researchers theorized that an uptick in stress hormones, which are associated with
feelings of anger, creates inflammation in the airways.

SHORTENED LIFE
Stress is very tightly linked to general health, and anger can shorten your lifespan. A
University of Michigan study done over a 17-year period found that couples who hold in
their anger have a shorter life span than those who readily say when they're mad. The old
adage that " happy people live longer" may be true.

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How to reduce the If you falter...
shouting Explain to your children that sometimes we do get angry and
you are sorry for shouting at them. Tell them you need to find
It is difficult to never shout,
a different and better way to let off some steam.
so try to be realistic about
your situation. Take deep
Be sure to tell your kids that you love them but are upset at
breaths and find a way to
their choices and behavior. Making this distinction helps your
calm yourself before trying to
child understand that they too have the power to change for
discuss an upsetting issue
the better.
with your child.

If you are upset at something else, try not to take out your
Understand that family life is
frustrations on your children because they are an easy target.
stressful and emotional. Find
Resolve your issues away from your children.
ways to let off steam in a
healthy way so you approach
Get down to your child's level, make eye contact and talk to
your family being the best
them in a calm and concise way.
version of you.

Hug your children - kiss them and hold them. Tell them that
Understand your triggers -
you see their beautiful qualities and love them for it.
figure out what makes you
lose your temper and work to
Let your kids know that we all make mistakes, and Allah didn't
address that.
make us to be perfect so He expects us to mess up sometimes.
What's important is to learn from these mistakes, and work
Shift your focus to counting
hard to improve ourselves so that we become better people
the number of times that you
and Allah swt forgives and rewards us Insh'Allah.
praise your child versus how
many times you lose your
Have a positive mind and a grateful heart. Children are an
temper. You'll be surprised to
amanat from Allah swt, and how we treat, raise and educate
see the difference it makes.
them will be counted for us or against us on the day of
Qiyaamah, so tread carefully.

Narated By Abu Huraira:

A man said to the Prophet, “Advise

me!"
The Prophet said, “Do not become
angry and furious.” The man asked
(the same) again and again, and
the Prophet said in each case, “Do
not become angry and furious.”

Sahih Bukhari, Book 073, Hadith 137

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