THE

REFRAME
GUIDE

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Dear reader,

Thanks for checking out this PDF.

What I want to share with here are a few simple ways to

use verbal reframing.

The overall goal is to get the person you’re

communicating with to see things a little differently.

This is especially useful in situations where you want to

persuade someone without breaking rapport.

Rapport is extremely important when it comes to

persuasion.

In fact, I would even go as far as to say that true

persuasion is impossible without it.

If you want to learn how to create instant rapport with

anyone…

Checkout Rapport Bootcamp here:

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Events in our lives aren’t good or bad. We perceive them a
certain way and sometimes the timeline proves us wrong
or right.

Most people aren’t receptive to something new unless

they are in a positive frame of mind. In order to get
someone into the frame of mind where they’re not steeped
in negativity and are instead looking at their concern or
problem from a different angle, reframing is an incredibly
useful tool.

For example, let’s say your colleague says, “I’m so tired of

driving this beat-up car.” You could reframe that
perception by saying, “I think you were smart to save
your money by driving that car until you couldn’t drive it
anymore. Then you’ll have a good down payment for the
next car you decide to buy.” By reframing in this way,
you’ve allowed your colleague to feel good about his
decision and look forward to future possibilities.

Once again, as with all hypnotic language, it’s important

to make sure that you are subtle. If every time you have a
conversation with someone you take his/her negativity
and reframe it, your pattern will be noticed and possibly
dismissed as unending optimism. 


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Suppose someone says to you, “I can’t learn to snow ski
no matter how much I try.” Immediately, the word “can’t”
should be an alarm bell to you because it falls into the
category of a modal operator of possibility. You can open
up a discussion or another way of thinking by simply
saying, “Oh, so you want to snow ski. Learning to snow
ski is important to you? And, after more conversation,
why do you want to learn to snow ski?” 


There are many possible ways to reframe the same

statement.

You can use reframing to uncover the details that will

allow you to assist the individual who has made the
statement in a specific way. For example, suppose
someone tells you, “My current job isn’t going well and I
feel incredibly depressed.”

You could elicit the person’s values by asking: “What

aspects of your job are important that you feel are going
wrong?” 


You could reframe it to a positive intention: “The fact that

it upsets you shows me that you care about your job.” 


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 You could use a step-down technique to get more details
by asking: “Are there any particular tasks you’re asked to
do that you don’t feel comfortable with?” 


Think of yourself as an intention detective.

By reframing and asking the right questions you can find

out what drives and motivates someone else. You can also
point the direction for future changes.

You can reframe it to a direction for changing the

outcome: “The last time I felt that way, it was a clue that it
was time for me to change jobs. Maybe you could think
about that option.” 


You can change the timeline: “Sometimes there are phases

in everyone’s work life that feel that way. Maybe you can
ride it out until it gets better.” 


You can put a spotlight on it as a learning experience for

the future: “Can you learn something useful for the future
from the way things are going now?” Postscript: It’s
important to remember that reframing doesn’t make
problems go away. Instead it gives options for varying
viewpoints so that you can attack a problem using
different strategies.

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The Six-Step Reframing Process:

NLP uses a specific process to apply reframing. This may

sound strange, but it’s frequently true that our conscious
and unconscious minds are not in rapport with each other.
You can work toward changing unwanted behavior by
“talking to yourself” to reframe that behavior so that you
can transform yourself. This same process can be used to
help someone else you are coaching.

1. Determine the behavior that you want to change. (For

example, I don’t want to eat sweets when I’m upset.) 


2. Talk to the part of you that’s responsible for that

behavior. (You may have to dig deep here. Why do I eat
sweets when I’m upset? Why do I feel I can’t control my
eating when I’m emotionally upset?) 


3. Separate the intention from the behavior. (My intention

is to make myself feel better and ease the hurt.) 


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4. Ask the creative part of your mind to help you come up
with new ways to accomplish the same goal. (Maybe there
are other ways I can ease the hurt when I feel bad, like go
for a walk in nature, or write in my journal, or watch an
inspirational movie or meditate, etc.” 


5. Ask the part of you that had the previous behavior

whether it will accept the new strategies for a few weeks.
(For the next few weeks, I’d like to try some different
strategies to see if I can change this behavior. Are you
willing to try?) 


6. Check to see if there is any part of you that is rejecting

the new strategies for behavior. You may have to come up
with new options to please this part. (But if I stop eating
when I’m upset, I’ll probably lose weight and I’ll feel less
secure because my weight feels like a security blanket to
me. What would make me feel more secure? What other
strategies could I use to help this part of me?)

Now that you know how to use reframing, it’s time to

learn how to create instant rapport with anyone…

Checkout Rapport Bootcamp here:

Copyright Influence Mastery Inc. !7

Copyright Influence Mastery Inc. !8