A BIBLICAL CHAPTER FOR KUDZI CHIPANGA(Social Media Extract)

Yah Zimbabweans are creative indeed. This cracked my ribs ( Verse 10, 15 & 19) So fitting since
Chipanga's strengths were in Bible studies, now please translate it to Shona so he can read it too
kkkkk
The book of Mugabe: Chapter 3
“The fall of Kudzanai Chipanga”
1. This is the epistle of Ace Lumumba to the people of Zimbabwe.
2. On the fifteenth day of the eleventh month the spirit of the Lord blew over the land of Zimbabwe.
The lord remembered the cries and tribulations of people of Zimbabwe.
3. Now there was a young man by the name of Kudzanai son of Chipanga who was a disciple of
King Mugabe for he was with council of ZanuPF for a score and two years.
4. The young man had grown to sit with elders and eat at the table of elders.
5. During those days, Kudzanai found favor in the eyes of the evil Queen and enjoyed the warmth of
the bosoms.
6. Chipanga stood up on the thirteenth day of the month and proclaimed in the market place: “I shall
die for my king Robert for it is right in the eyes of the Lord”.
7. These words of Kudzanai reached the ears of the great warrior army general Constantine bar
Chiwenga and he sought to lay his hand on the son of Chipanga but found him not for he had the
protection of King Mugabe.
8. All men, young and old trembled with fear and bowed down at the feet of Kudzanai and said “ Oh
hail prince Kudzanai. Thy will be done as the king wills”
9. Kudzanai was brave in those days and cried out in public meetings and cursed who ever stood
against the king.
10. With the help of Jonathan bar Moyo and Savior the son of Kasukuwere and the Queen,
Kudzanai sought letters form king Mugabe to go out in the land and arrest all who opposed the
decree of the king to leave the throne to the Queen.
11. On the day king Mugabe fell on his sword, Chipanga was out fighting against the kings enemies
for he had the power to reign all and his Countenance fell and was contrite with fear and sorry on
hearing the news.
12. Chipanga sent an epistle to Army general asking for forgiveness, but no reply came.
13. Seeking to see for himself, Kudzanai and his wife disguised themselves and adorned themselves
in commoners’ clothes and went to Borrowdale police station.
14. When the general saw his face they said “Thou art not Kudzanai Chipanga our adversary?”
15. He answered and said “Verily I say unto you I am the son of Chipanga yet my name is Hosea”
for he had sought to pass himself as a musician Hosea Chipanga whom the army generals did not
seek after.
16. One soldier stood up and said “Ye art Kudzanai for hence your name and countenance are the
same”, soldiers quickly laid their hands on him and arrested him that night. Him and his wife.
17. He was put in a trunk with his wife to spend the night for the army did not want to injure his body.
He called out to the spirit of the dead but no help came till morning.
18. On the following day at sunrise Chipanga woke up hungry and said to the soldiers “I am thy
captive, but thy slave cannot die by hunger for my wife and myself hunger for food and water as it is
written in the book of United Nations, treat thine captives well”
19. Now the army gave him food and water and a jersey to make fun of him.
20. They took him to the market square while he wore the woolen jersey of shame and he said with
a sad voice “I apologize for the things I have said to the army. I am young and I am still growing up. I
have not been coerced or forced to make this statement.”
21. He said other things not mentioned here for no book in the world could contain all he said and
did, for he spoke the whole day at the market Centre apologizing to the army generals.
22. The army laid not their hands on his body for they did not want to harm him.
23. When the new king came seven days later, he decreed that Kudzanai be handed over to the
police of the land and be tried in public while his wife was let to go for the king had a merciful heart.
24. These things came to pass on the day Chipanga got arrested on the fateful day king Mugabe fell
on his sword and the spirit of the Lord left him.
25. These words were spoken to the people of Zimbabwe on the fifteenth day in the month of Kislev
which is to say the eleventh month in the year of our lord 2017 by Ace bar Lumumba son of
Mutumanje who bore witness to the arrest of Chipanga and his wife.