Jurenz Ibhan M.

Bonsol

HUMSS 12-B

A CIPHER BEFORE

Back when I was at my grade school, I'm not that open to people. I'm usually quiet and I don't really like
attention. So if you like me to show you the real
me, you must be very special. I always believe that
shy people usually end up being some of the
coolest people you know after you start talking to
them. I'm just a very simple student who hides a
thousand of feelings behind a smile. I just
remember the most embarrassing moment of my
grade school was my first grade at Taal Central
School, Section 2-Joy. It was our english time when
our teacher, Mrs. Maria Fe Panganiban was
discussing the use of pronouns. She asked me to
read what was written at the board. But due to my
shyness, I didn't read it. What I did was bow my head, facing the table and my heart beats so fast. I was
very nervous that time. My sweats are falling really fast and my legs are shaking too.

"Jurenz, babasahin mo lang ang nasa blackboard, bakit ayaw mo?

Hindi ka kakainin nyan", my teacher said. What was written at the
board was really simple. Another, everything, each, either and so
on. I'll just read it and that's it. But what i did was contradictory to
what the direction is. Probably, after 30 seconds of them forcing me
to read what was written, I didn't notice that my tears fall. My
classmates are watching me for what I did that moment. It was too
disgusting. I wish just be swallowed by the land that time.
 Moreover, I was offered several times at the top section,
as far as I remember, it was from grade 2 up to Grade 6.
Yet due to my shyness again, I didn't took the offer. I know
to myself that the people at that room has high quality of
intelligence compared to mine. I will just disappoint not
myself alone, but also the people around me. I just let my
wings flew at the lower sections where I can show what I
have.

And right after that moment, i said to myself that I must

be confident to whatever situation, moment, thing or
event that I may face. That when I doubt my power, i am
giving power to my doubt. That too many days are wasted
comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be
something we aren't. Everybody has their own strengths
and weaknesses. And it is only when we accept everything
we are - and aren't - that's the way that you will truly
succeed.

And hi! It's me now! I am now a Grade 12 student. And I

can say that the word "shy" was removed at my
vocabulary. I am now a 17 year old guy, having some
achievemnets and who are confident and brave enough
to chin up, stomach in and put my best smile because I
am proud for what I became due to the fact that I feel
that i was just a cipher before. Yes, sometimes I got tired
and loses hope, but I still go on and fight. Unlike before, I
don't have any self-esteem, but I today, i have 100%
confidence with my self. I am now ready to fight and fly again to the highest mountain I can reach.
JURENZ