CANCER IN CARLSBAD

Written by
Brixley Leieritz
Based on the case study by B. Meyers and G. Sidra

EXT-SCRIPPS BEACH-EARLY MORNING

Dr. Brittney Barnes, a young, short WOMAN, runs along the beach
with a hospital building in the background, listening to music
with earbuds. The sun is beginning to rise.

Dr. Brittney Barnes (V.O.)

(heartbeat sound)
I’m the youngest hematologist-oncologist that Scripps Memorial
Hospital has ever had.
(heartbeat sound)

Dr. Barnes (V.O.)

They say that when you clock out, you leave your job behind you.
You can live your life.
(heartbeat sound)

Dr. Barnes removes her earbuds and slows her running. She turns
to look at the hospital behind her.

Dr. Barnes (V.O.)

This is a job that never ends.

INT-SCRIPPS MEMORIAL HOSPITAL-MORNING

After the episode’s OPENING CREDIT SCENE plays, Dr. Brittney

Barnes enters the hospital, followed by two clearly irritated
older male INTERNS holding clipboards.

Dr. Barnes (drinking coffee)

Thanks for getting me coffee this morning. I’ve been on-call
for the past two nights.
(finishes coffee, throws it in trash, and turns around)
What were we talking about again?
 Dr. Brian Myers
Right, so we were looking at the three charts from the patients
with myelodysplastic syndrome and Guillain-Barré Syndrome. Ms.
Christie and Mr. Jones are doing much better after their
five-day IVIG treatments for their GBS. In fact, Ms. Christie
seems to have made a full neurological recovery. She is only
displaying mild myelodysplasia at the moment, so we’re not too
concerned about that.

Dr. Grant Sidra

But our third patient is showing no signs of recovery. Mrs.
Lancaster is still declining. She had the longest medical
history of all three of our cases, and she didn’t respond well
to the IVIG.

Dr. Barnes
Can I see that for a second?
(grabs chart from Dr. Myers and quickly examines)
She’s still ventilator dependent?

Dr. Sidra
Yes. And I don’t think that’s going to change for a while. She
can’t recover from her neurological issues due to how far her
myelodysplasia has progressed.

Dr. Barnes
Well, if the other two patients are doing well, we can discuss
when they’ll be able to leave. Brian, come with me. Grant, I
want you to run some more tests. Do a final blood analysis for
all three patients and report back to me when you’re done.

Dr. Meyers
Okay.

Dr. Sidra
Got it.

(Dr. Sidra leaves)

(Dr. Barnes and Dr. Meyers walk into Ms. Christie’s room)
 Dr. Barnes
Hi Ms. Christie, it’s good to see you again. How are you
feeling this morning?

Ms. Christie
I’m feeling better everyday, thanks to you. I can feel
everything again. It’s wonderful.

Dr. Barnes
I’m happy to hear that! Now, we were thinking about letting you
out of here at the end of the day. How does that sound?

Ms. Christie
It sounds like music to my ears. I’ll call my daughter and get
her over here.

Dr. Barnes
Perfect. Dr. Meyers here will get all the paperwork for you to
sign so you can go home.

Ms. Christie
Thank you, Dr. Barnes.

(Dr. Barnes leaves the room and walks to Mr. Jones’s room)

Dr. Barnes
Hi Mr. Jones, how are you this morning?

Mr. Jones
Less miserable than usual. I think that IVIG treatment might
have actually worked.

Dr. Barnes
Preliminary readings indicate that it did. However, you’re
making a slow recovery. This is totally fine, but we’ll have to
keep you here for at least another week.

Mr. Jones
I expected that. Thank you Doc.
INT-LOBBY-LATE AFTERNOON

Dr. Barnes is sitting on a lounge chair eating a bag of chips.

Dr. Sidra approaches her with a clipboard.

Dr. Barnes
Are those the lab results for our three myelodysplastic
patients?

Dr. Sidra
Yes. I think you’ll like what you see for Ms. Christie and Mr.
Jones.

Dr. Barnes
Okay. As we expected, Ms. Christie’s morphologically normal
megakaryocytes number is up. The cancer is progressing, but the
neuropathy is gone. She will have to come back in for her
chemotherapy, but otherwise, she’s good to go. Mr. Jones had a
fall in platelet count. He can’t leave the hospital until his
immune system is a little bit stronger.

Dr. Sidra
Look at Mrs. Lancaster’s numbers.

Dr. Barnes
She has a hemoglobin of 6.6 g/L, a white-blood cell count of 1.2
✕ 10​9​/L, a neutrophil count of 0.03 ✕ 10​9​/L, and a platelet
count of 63 ✕ 10​9​/L. All of her blood counts are down. She’s
not going to make it much longer. She’s barely responsive as it
is.

(Dr. Barnes gets intercepted by a desperate looking woman.)

Cecelia Lancaster
Dr. Barnes! It’s my mother. The machines in her room are
beeping like crazy. Come with me!

Dr. Barnes (to Dr. Sidra, while running)

Page someone! It’s room 154. Hurry!
 Cecelia (out of breath)
She was moving around for a minute, then suddenly her machines
went off. Is she going to be okay?

Dr. Barnes
I can’t say for sure until we get there.

INT-ROOM 154-EARLY EVENING

Dr. Barnes and Cecelia are around Mrs. Lancaster’s bed.

Dr. Barnes
She has a DNR. I’ll do what I can right now, but if she takes a
turn for the worse, I can’t do anything else.

Cecelia
I understand.

INT-ROOM 154-NIGHT

Dr. Barnes
Time of death: 10:47.
(pause)
I’m sorry, Cecelia. There was nothing more we could do.

EXT-HOSPITAL COURTYARD-LATE NIGHT

Dr. Barnes is sitting by herself at a table in the center of the
courtyard. She is looking at the ground.

Dr. Sidra (to Dr. Barnes)

Something on your mind?

Dr. Barnes
How is it that we had three patients, within three years of age
of one another, with the exact same diagnosis? Myelodysplastic
syndrome itself is incredibly rare, but paired with
Guillain-Barré Syndrome? That sounds impossible. And we had
three.
 Dr. Sidra
Are you suggesting a link?

Dr. Barnes
There has to be! These cases may represent a combination of two
conditions not previously known to occur together. Obviously,
GBS has an underlying immunological basis, and myelodysplastic
syndrome attacks the immune system, so it makes sense that the
two would occur together. But I’ve never seen anything like it.

Dr. Sidra
I did some research this afternoon. GBS only affects between
0.5 to 2 people out of one hundred thousand each year. Having
three cases in one hospital is already beating the odds. But
with all three of them displaying varying levels of
myelodysplasia? That can’t be a coincidence.

Dr. Barnes
This observation could change medicine as we know it.
Works Cited:
Myers, B., and G. Sidra. 2003. “Guillain-Barrė Syndrome and Myelodysplasia--A Possible
Association.”
Leukemia & Lymphoma​ 44 (10): 1827. doi:10.1080/1042819031000119253.

Reference Text:
Grey’s Anatomy.​ “A Hard Day’s Night.” Directed by Peter Horton. Written by Shonda Rhimes.
American Broadcasting Company. March 27, 2005.
https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=greys-anato
my&episode=s01e01

Word Count:
1,077
Brixley Leieritz
November 26, 2019
Tym Chajdas
WP3 Reflective Essay

Creativity has never been my strength, especially when it comes to writing. I have

always preferred analytical writing. So when I found out that the third writing project required a

genre translation, I was reluctant. However, there is a strong emphasis on analysis with this

creative writing assignment. I did not simply have to write in a non-academic genre; I had to

specifically choose what I would and would not include in a translation between two distinct text

types. So, I chose to work with an academic article in a subject I am familiar with, and decided

to translate this text into a script, a genre I have never written. By taking the highly technical

concepts present in the case study about myelodysplastic syndrome and Guillain-Barré

Syndrome and reworking it into a short script for a medical drama, I catered to a different

audience to present the relevance of conventions when writing within a given genre.

The case study by Meyers and Sidra1 is presented like any scientific study. There is a

brief introduction, descriptions of three cases, and a conclusion, where the results of the study are

discussed as having a possible link. The concision involved in a medical report is one of the

most prevalent conventions identified. This convention is perfect for the target audience of

doctors and other medical professionals. The only information that is portrayed is the relevant

details of each case, and a discussion to examine the possibility of a connection between both

medical conditions. Another important factor is the use of jargon. One of the biggest barriers to

understanding the medical field is the use of language to describe very specific functions of the

1
Myers, B., and G. Sidra. 2003. “Guillain-Barrė Syndrome and Myelodysplasia--A Possible
Association.”
Leukemia & Lymphoma​ 44 (10): 1827. doi:10.1080/1042819031000119253.
human body. Without a sufficient background in medicine, it is difficult to understand anything

being discussed. The academic article contains descriptions of blood counts, symptoms, and

changes in the patients which are hard to decipher. This medical text also used a distinct citation

style. The use of Vancouver style citations ensured that the authors could refer to multiple

different sources, therefore making it a credible source itself, without interfering with the flow of

the case study. Between the concision of the article, the technical language, and the citations,

this academic article could easily be identified as a medical text.

When translating my source text to a medical drama, I had to decide what to keep and

what to leave out of the translation. Before I could do that, though, I had to think about what is

essential to a script for a medical drama. As someone who has never written a script, this took a

lot of research. I began by reading the scripts for the pilot episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy”2 and

“Scrubs.”3 The first thing I noticed was the opening to the shows. Both series have a pilot with

a voiceover from the main character. Many medical dramas use narrative-style voiceovers to

emphasize the main character and directly show their perspective. Then I realized that the most

important parts of medical dramas is in the title. A perfect balance between the lives of doctors,

and the drama which interferes with their jobs. The drama usually involves a sub-plot, whether it

involves romance, a scheme, or competition, and there is always a cliffhanger at the end of each

episode. The jargon is also key to drama. Audiences want to feel like they are learning about

the medical world while also being entertained by the exaggeration of the every day lives of

doctors. These conventions draw the audience in without deviating too far from expectations.

2
​Grey’s Anatomy​. “A Hard Day’s Night.” Directed by Peter Horton. Written by Shonda Rhimes. American
Broadcasting Company. March 27, 2005.
3
​Scrubs.​ “My First Day.” Directed by Adam Bernstein. Written by Bill Lawrence. National Broadcasting Company.
October 2, 2001.
 The first step in my translation was understanding who I was writing the script for. My

target audience was the general public. However, a large viewership of these soap-opera style

television shows is middle-aged women. This audience is considerably different than the case

study, where the primary audience of the text is doctors. Specifically: oncologists who specialize

in hematology. I needed to write for people without an M.D. But that was not all that needed to

be changed. Where case studies are objective and anonymity protects patients, medical dramas

are all about personal engagement. I chose to employ emotion, which was devoid in the original

text. By including a family member for the character who died, I added in an element of

emotional longing for the health of someone who is loved by her daughter. I also altered the

purpose of the text. Where the academic article was meant to inform about a possible link

between myelodysplastic syndrome and Guillain-Barré Syndrome, the translated script focused

on using an entertaining lens to explain medical phenomena.

When it came time to write the script, I created an outline with all of the conventions of

my new text type, and converted the information from the case study to fit these conventions. I

took the three cases and turned them into real people with names and lives. The information

from their cases was included, verbatim, so as to add the medicine into the medical drama. The

use of heavily technical language is one of the parts of medical dramas that audiences love most,

because it makes them feel like they are understanding a complicated profession. By taking

information about the patients, such as their blood counts, and incorporating it into their chart

readings, I explained to the audience what was wrong with the patients and the consequences of

their diagnosis. Not everything would transfer well, though. I chose to leave out some of the

symptoms relating to each individual patient simply because I did not have the space. In an
earlier draft, I included all of the symptoms, diagnoses, and treatments, and ended up with a ten

page script. By paring down, I was able to include some medical jargon, and some medical

drama.

At the end of the writing process, I became very critical of my script. I have never

written a script before, and I have never actually watched this type of show, so it was difficult to

figure out the conventions. After familiarizing myself with two medical dramas and compiling a

list of conventions between the two shows, I was able to map out a plan for my script. I also had

difficulty staying within the recommended word limit, because I wanted to create a full story

with as much information and character development as possible. After going over the word

limit several times, I decided to start my script at the end of the treatment period for the patients.

I realized that the most important part of the academic article was not the specifics of each case

study, but the link between the three patients. So when I ended my script on a cliffhanger,

linking myelodysplastic syndrome to Guillain-Barré Syndrome, I understood that the most

important part of the translation was included. The part of my script which I cannot seem to

figure out yet is the introduction. From my reference texts, I understood it is important to have a

voiceover scene with the main character, but the introduction is awkward and formulaic.

Every genre is written for a specific purpose and a set audience. While the case study

and the script do not convey all of the same information and ideas, they can both communicate

the concept of a link between myelodysplastic syndrome and Guillain-Barré Syndrome. Writing

for different discourse communities is vital for addressing all different types of people. These

conventions are meant to unify, not divide. By understanding different genre conventions and

using them to translate a text, I was able to learn more about both discourse communities.
Works Cited:

Grey’s Anatomy.​ “A Hard Day’s Night.” Directed by Peter Horton. Written by Shonda Rhimes.
American
Broadcasting Company. March 27, 2005.

Myers, B., and G. Sidra. 2003. “Guillain-Barrė Syndrome and Myelodysplasia--A Possible
Association.”
Leukemia & Lymphoma​ 44 (10): 1827. doi:10.1080/1042819031000119253.

Scrubs.​ “My First Day.” Directed by Adam Bernstein. Written by Bill Lawrence. National
Broadcasting Company.
October 2, 2001.