Sage Robbins

12/05/19
Sellers-3/4

Unbroken
Socialization throughout my life has taught me to love myself for who I am.
Through the agents of socialization, I have learned this valuable asset. Bobby Harro
refers to target and agent groups in the article ​The Cycle of Socialization.​ Target
groups in societies are mainly looked down on by people, whether that means being a
girl and having less privilege or thought of as a criminal because of the color of your
skin. Agent groups may consist of being a rich white man. From stereotypes some
people believe that every man has privilege over women. Although I am a caucasion
male I have grown up with severe food allergies that have changed my ability to do
things or eat things most people enjoy. I am perceived an agent in race, gender, and
sexual orientation. However I fall under a part of the target group when it comes to how
allergies have affected my ability to eat and do things. Through my access to media, my
severe food allergies, schools I have attended, my friends, and my family, I have been
taught to listen to my words and love who I am.
Honestly, social media has consumed much more of my life than I would care to
admit. I have been on social media since sixth grade and have spent at least an hour a
day, if not more, using my phone or computer. There are a few positive effects from
social media, but also many negative effects and subcultures influenced by social
media. For instance, many people in my life have been nice while talking to me on
social media or liking my posts; yet, others have impacted me negatively from harsh
comments. Receiving good comments from friends often raises my self-esteem.
However, through the socialization that occurs on social media, I have learned that not
everyone will be positive. Social media has taught me that being yourself is hard to do --
especially if you’re unique. It has taken courage to post uncomfortable pictures that
express who I am. Learning to love myself as a person has meant that I have to ignore
mean comments, even if they don’t happen very often. However, sometimes a mean
comment does pop up. When receiving mean comments my sister has always told me
to block them or ignore it. This has helped me feel more comfortable on social media.
Unfortunately, people have made me feel bad and this has lowered my self-esteem in
the past. I started to learn from that and socialize with my peers in a way that wasn’t
always kind. Sometimes that meant participating in mean jokes or lashing out at those I
cared about when mad. I soon learned that acting that way wasn’t right and I took a new
approach to social media. Soon after I got nicer comments which brightened my mood,
resulting in being nicer and more respectful to my friends. This change happened
around the beginning of seventh-grade. As a result I have gained many amazing friends
that I still have and/or am in contact with to this day.
Social media has “shown me” that different people are looked upon in different
ways based on how they should be in society. For example, social media is full of
stereotypes about the way that women should look. Of course, these standards are not
realistic in most cases. However, because all I saw on instagram was pretty women, I
just thought that women should naturally be that way in real life. I also learned from
pictures and different social media platforms that men should be tough, have no feelings
and be strong before they were anything else. These expectations limited my capability
to be myself. Instead, I tried to be someone who I wasn’t. I learned to be the type of
human generally being apart of agent groups. Instead of being myself and being in a
more vulnerable-target group. After realizing that many people don’t meet those
expectations because they are unreal, I started to find myself. Still, when I first became
myself I was scared of what others thought. It took a long time to become the person I
am today. After some time I was able to build confidence, and I realized I could be
myself and not care about what others thought. Animas has helped me learn that most
people care about you and appreciate you for yourself. This new outlook helped me do
the things I wanted to do, make new friends, and be less stressed in my daily life. I got a
lot more work done and didn’t care as much about what others thought. Now I still strive
to be that way.
Growing up, I felt extremely ordinary because of my severe food allergies. I felt
separated from others by a problem I couldn't control or help. In the article, ​The Cycle of
Socialization by Bobbie Harro ​it​ s​ tates: “We get systematic training in “how to be” each
of our social identities throughout our lives.” In my case, I was always told you’re just a
normal kid, learn to realize food allergies don’t separate you from others. Although, I
always kept this in my mind I knew that I was not the same. In fact, I always felt left out
when I couldn’t have a treat because it had nuts or sesame. This lead to socialization
where I was a target in my ability to eat most things because of my severe food
allergies. I grew up eating different things than most kids and felt insecure about my
situation. I kept on hearing “you’re normal.” I knew I wasn't though. Through being
deadly allergic to sesame and peanuts I have learned to always be on my guard. This
has helped me stay safe over the years. Through the years my ability to eat more has
grown immensely. I do remember hoping that my situation would get better or leave my
life but then being reimbursed by an anaphylactic shock and losing my hope. To add on
to my problems I had weird medicine that was with me all the time-EpiPens and
Benadryl-. I used it when I had a reaction. This made me feel different because I always
had it with me. Through food allergies, I also started to fall behind as a kid. For example
in the beginning of my life I was placed in the target group for ability as I couldn't talk
and was sick. This made me feel even less normal and bad inside. Although I was
different from my peers, my family worked hard to try to give me a normal childhood. My
friends have helped me be on the bright side of the ordeal. However, inside my mind, I
will never know what it is like to grow up without feeling the risk of dying each day and
being the “normal” kid.
Friends and my peers at school have taught me to listen to my words instead of
others’ thoughts that may affect my life. At Animas High School there is a very
understanding culture that allows me to be myself. Even if that just means wearing my
own style of clothes or listening to music that inspires me. This has helped me engage
more in class and socialize in a way where I thrive. I have definitely been socialized into
the culture at my school because I recognize that I feel comfortable and safe there.
School is a very positive sanctuary for me because it has been great since the
beginning. This is probably attributable to the fact that school is engaging and fun now.
At the beginning of my freshman year, I was influenced by the looking glass self-theory
because I definitely did care what people thought of my personality, looks, and
behavior. I took my peers’ words and actions as more judgmental than they actually
were, and this had a big negative impact on my pre-stages of school this year. For
example, I cared a lot when people joked about my characteristics: the fact that I play
golf, the way I dress, my hairstyle and shoes I wear. I started to get used to being
judged or joked about, so it was hard to maintain a positive mood. One day, however, I
listened to a close friend that helped me find myself as a person. I learned to love who I
am and what I do as a human being. I have become far more social and have been
thriving more in and out of school. As a result, I have forgotten about the looking glass
theory and have been doing extremely well socially and mentally.
Through family, I have learned and been influenced to do the things I love and
wish to inflict into my life. For example, I have been taught to respect and be kind to my
peers and elders. I learned this mostly through my mom because she is Jewish and she
prioritizes having good manners. Therefore, I have learned and mastered my manners
during meals and with other human beings. This has helped me gain new friends and
helps adults view me as a respectful, hard-working young man. In one section of the
article,​ The Cycle of Socialization by Bobbie Harro ​it states: “Immediately upon our
births, we begin to be socialized by the people we love and trust the most, our families
or the adults who are raising us.” Although I didn't realize as a kid, all my life, my family
has taught me right and wrong. For example, my dad did activities with me while
growing up. For example, I grew up fishing and playing board games with him. I have
learned many valuable problem-solving skills when it comes to untangling a line or
trying to win a hard game. This has helped me in my life to get better at things I do and
bring an important asset to the table. I have also learned to take matters into my own
hands from him. As a result I have grown extremely independent in my life.
Although I have learned many valuable skills, when my parents broke up it was a
big negative impact on my life. At first, I was extremely confused because I was away
from either my mom or dad for one week, and then I would see them again the next. I
grew shyer because I didn’t see my parents as often. I was socialized into a harder
lifestyle because I had two houses and obviously forgot things at my mom’s or dad’s. I
was young so it was hard for me to adjust to the new life. On top of that, I was sad and
missed having a family. I got caught in an era where I always asked my mom, when will
we be having dinner with dad or vice versa? I often cried for help in my mind, and
occasionally out loud to my sister. I tried to have hope that they would get back together
so that our life would go back to the way it was before. I got socialized into thinking
things would go back to normal but I was disappointed when they never did.
I will say, however, that before my parents broke up, I was extremely used to a life
where they yelled at each other. Therefore, a positive effect of their breakup was that
they weren’t constantly yelling back and forth. The fact that there wasn’t as much yelling
in my life helped make me a bit more relaxed and less stressed.

After my parents split up and I had two family situations as a young kid I grew
anxious and pretty sad. For example, I thought that I would be judged for having two
houses or having fewer toys at one house. As a result, I grew less social at the
beginning of the divorce. I soon started to learn that my friends wouldn’t judge me and
wanted to hang out with me for my own company and not because of what I possessed.
Once I became more comfortable with the idea of having two houses, I became more
social again. My mom found a new boyfriend named Mark and he socialized me in
positive ways as well. When we moved into his house, all of a sudden I had my dream
family back. The only problem was that it wasn’t with my real dad. Soon, I learned from
my mom’s new relationship to be grateful for my situation. It took a couple of years to
warm up to and trust Mark. However, when I finally did my life, in and out of school, was
a lot better. I made more friends and trusted more people. This came through more
support at both households -- mainly from my sister but also from my parent’s
relationships. My sister Jade was my “rock” throughout the whole breakup. Without her,
I would have been harder on myself and thought that the whole situation was my fault
for “not being good enough.” When my parents broke up, I assumed that everything was
my fault. I often asked myself if I was good enough. My sister always made me feel
better, though. I learned that things happen for a reason and to always trust in the
people you care about and love. Now I love both of my almost step-parents, my current
situation with family, and most importantly, myself. As in my sister's case she has kept
me in check physically, mentally, and socially throughout these past few years. I am so
grateful for my sister and now express gratitude for many things that happen to me.
Even the small things like new clothes or working at two restaurants.

Social media, school, friends and family, and allergies have influenced me into
the person I am to this day. I have learned from my mistakes and grown in extreme
measures over my life. Thankfully I am lucky enough to be im multiple agent groups.
This has helped me glide through life without having to worry about being judged based
on stereotypes. I realize that I’m in the target group, for my ability to eat things as I do
have severe food allergies. However this problem has shaped me to be careful and
always follow my heart. Socialization has helped me thrive in and out of school
immensely. In the end the agents of socialization for me have shaped my life.