The Dying Art of Traditional Courtship between Man and Women in the Philippines

By: Krisha Diane Obsequio

Outline:

 Introduction

 Importance

 Courtship as a culture

 Effects of information technologies to the culture of courtship

 Diminishing culture

 The evolution of courtship

 Conclusion

Introduction

The indirectness or assurance in the way men tries to catch the love of the woman they love

is one of the thrills of the Philippine way of courtship is or Panliligaw as its called due to its

subdued nature the Western countries are alien of as the concept of how the Filipinos show love

is deeper than one would think.

Middlemen or (Tulay) is the middleman to introduce a potential suitor for the lady that the

man likes. It sounds like common sense as any tradition would do such but its rare and already

considered tradition for a man to seek help from someone else to be introduced.

It is important to remember because the same things will happen, indirect confrontation is one

way of showing respect to a Filipino lady as permissions from family to Court the lady is a priority

before asking the lady herself in traditional ways but that now gone what we have now Is more
feministic ideologies whereas a woman no longer needs permission from there parents to date

anyone they want because that kind of value is now lost. But out of respect for the parents of

the lady the man still needs to visit the house and show servitude and being a gentleman around

the house in order to even come close to being accepted in the household. This can be true for

women as well for a man’s house but the traditional way if inside the lady’s house.

This meticulous system has been one way to ensure that the man is persistent and

consistent enough to be a lover of a father’s daughter and to ensure safety of daughters and

young “Dalagas” or young Filipinas as no man with questionable motivations has the guts to do

such systematic forms of courtship.

Courtship in the Philippines is not a one-time deal until you get bored. It is a way of showing

respect and true love without getting tired because the one who gives up loses and in the

traditional eyes of the time it is not the woman’s fault to say no as she believes the man is not

worthy of such love that she must be prepared to give.

Importance

“Courtship as a culture”

Why was Courtship so important in Philippine culture? Protection from shady suitors and

future men that will come to the way to destroy a life of a lady because no man is ready for the

consequences of an entire family that he had to face while courting the lady.

This had effects in the traditional way of life in the Philippines and colonial period because

not only has become a staple to show your love to someone a man actually loves but is to
actually prepare as well in whether or not he will be accepted which is the time he can be

answered that the woman ahs accepted him as his Boyfriend. This kind of behavior has been

carried over in the modern era in which information technology has now flourished but as

society evolves so does a culture

“Effects of information technologies to the culture of courtship”

Based on what was said in the paper in chapter two “generations pass so does the way of

showing love” culture and its way of transforming lives throughout the years ahs brought us

together but in a world that promised to connect us only made us feel disconnected and how in

the past that the internet was haven today real life is now our escape. Information technologies

gave rise to new ways the tradition of courtship can flourish and has evolved the way we can

actually communicate because as thousands of people logging in and creating profiles to match

each other it is no longer a problem to look for a potential partner in the long run.

“Diminishing culture”

In a rapid change discussed in chapter two as well the rise of information technologies and

its offering has not only slowly made us lose track of tradition, but it could have possibly slowly

made us lose it core values as its slow demise is upon us as cohabitation and hookup culture

introduced after the liberation of the Philippines by the west has sprung and how the western

culture has reigned upon the Filipinas of the time. Parties rebellion and feministic ideologies that

they can now choose for themselves and that permissions are no longer required came into play

as the way of merging the traditional to the new. The views of families and Filipina women has

changed and so did the entire culture of Panliligaw or courtship did as well.
 “The evolution of courtship”

In the conclusion of the paper one of the discussions is the future of courtships in which the

evolution for the sacrifice of tradition is a benefit for as long the core values of the courtship still

exists mainly servitude, persistence and permissions from the family. Surprisingly a lot of men

still practice the traditional way of courting but in a world of technologies and the change of

tradition a lot of women end up running for a man instead of the opposite which defies the

tradition of our ancestors

Conclusion

In conclusion women should uphold traditional values to learn and be respected by men and

their fellow women and how education of the traditional ways of courtship should still be

followed and there is no need to abide to the traditional views or systems in place but to follow

the core values that our ancestors taught us to create more meaningful and lasting relationships.

By: Krisha Diane Obsequio