SOCIAL SELF

Self-Concept: Who Am I?
 What we know and believe about ourselves

The Looking-Glass Self: Our sense of self is influenced by others’ views of us

 Part of how we see ourselves comes from our perception of how others see us.

Social Comparison Theory: Our sense of self is influenced by comparisons with others
 Social comparison – evaluating one’s abilities and opinions by comparing oneself with
others.
 Comparisons can be with people who we know and interact with, with those we read about or
see on TV or with anyone else we view as important.
 Social Comparison has a bigger impact on self-esteem.
o When we compare ourselves favorably with others, we feel good about ourselves but
when we feel that others are better off than we are, our self-esteem is likely to suffer.

Social Identity Theory: Our sense of self is influenced by the groups we belong to
 Social identity theory asserts that we draw part of our sense of identity and self-esteem from
the social groups that we belong to.
 Your membership in the group becomes part of what you are, and the membership often
makes you feel good about yourself.
 We can sometimes enhance our self-esteem by basking in the reflected glory of our ingroups,
which occurs when we use and advertise our ingroups’ positive achievements to boost our
self-esteem (Cialdini et.al., 1976)

Self-Presentation: Our sense of self is influenced by the audiences we have

 Positive self-esteem occurs not only when we do well in our own eyes but also when we feel
that we are positively perceived by the other people we care about.
 Self-presentation – the tendency to present a positive self-image to others with the goal of
increasing our social status.
 Self-monitoring – refers to the tendency to be both motivated and capable of regulating our
behavior to meet the demands of social situations.
o High self-monitors use self-presentation to try to get other people to like them by
behaving in ways that the others find desirable.
o Low self-monitors tend to follow their internal convictions more than the demands of
the social situation.

Conformity: Good or Bad?

 A change in behavior or belief as the result of real or imagined group pressure.
 Varieties of conformity:
o Compliance – conformity that involves publicly acting in accord with an implied or
explicit request while privately disagreeing.
o Obedience – acting in accord with a direct order or command.
o Acceptance – conformity that involves both acting and believing in accord with
social pressure.

Group Influence
 Group – two or more people who, for longer than a few moments, interact with and influence
one another and perceive one another as “us”.
 How are we affected by the presence of others?
o Social Facilitation – the tendency of people to perform simple or well-learned tasks
better when others are present.

 Do individuals exert less effort in a group?

o Social Loafing – the tendency for people to exert less effort when they pool their
efforts toward a common goal than when they are individually accountable.
o Free-riders – people who benefit from the group but give little in return.
Attraction and Intimacy
 What leads to friendship and attraction?
o Proximity – geographical nearness
 Interaction : liking is influenced by how often people’s paths cross
 Anticipation of Interaction : anticipating interaction with a person boosts
liking for that person
 Mere exposure effect: the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more after
the person has been repeatedly exposed to them.
o Physical Attractiveness
o Similarity versus Complementarity
 Likeness begets liking: People like not only those who think as they do but
also those who act as they do.
 Dissimilarity breeds dislike: Discovering that the person is dissimilar tends to
decrease liking.
 Complementarity: the popularly supposed tendency, in a relationship
between two people, for each to complete what is missing in the other.
o Liking those who like us
 A person’s liking for another predict the other’s liking in return.
o Relationship Rewards
 Reward theory of attraction : we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us
or whom we associate with rewarding events.
 What is Love?
o Robert Sternberg’s Triangular theory of Love

o Sternberg views love as a triangle consisting of three components:

 Intimacy, or liking, which involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and
bondedness
 Passion, which involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction,
romance, and sexual consummation
 Commitment—feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and
move toward shared goals.
o Types of Love
 Non Love: absence of the three components
 Friendship: This type of love is when the intimacy or liking component is
present, but feelings of passion or commitment in the romantic sense are
missing. Friendship love can be the root of other forms of love.
 Infatuation: Characterized by feelings of lust and physical passion without
liking and commitment.
 Empty Love: Characterized by commitment without passion or intimacy. At
times, a strong love deteriorates into empty love. The reverse may occur as
well. For instance, an arranged marriage may start out empty but flourish into
another form of love over time.
 Romantic Love: bonds people emotionally through intimacy and physical
passion. Partners in this type of relationship have deep conversations that
help them know intimate details about each other. They enjoy a sexual
 passion and affection. These couples may be at the point where long-term
commitment or future plans are still undecided.
 Companionate Love: an intimate, but non-passionate sort of love. The
intimacy or liking component and the commitment component of the triangle
make up companionate love. It is stronger than friendship because there
is long-term commitment. There is minimal or no sexual desire. This is often
found in marriages where the passion has died, but the couple continues to
have deep affection or a strong bond together. This may also be viewed as
the love between very close friends and family members.
 Fatuous Love: In this type of love, commitment and passion are
present while intimacy or liking is absent. Fatuous love is typified by a
whirlwind courtship and marriage in which passion motivates a commitment
without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.
 Consummate Love: made up of all three components and is the total form
of love. It represents an ideal relationship. Couples who experience this kind
of love cannot imagine themselves with anyone else. They also cannot see
themselves truly happy without their partners. They manage to overcome
differences and face stressors together.