Why I’m here reflection

I spent a good amount of time drafting my second reflection It’s 2-3 pages. My farming
concept need to be focused on one thing. The thing is the topic is interesting but it’s not just
any topic for me. It’s a sensitive topic that happened in my life and I hate discussing it a lot. I
get bored and annoyed when people ask me a lot of the reason why I transferred. It makes a
lot of sense to me but for them they all end up saying yeah because design doesn’t have a
future and here you have a future. Just mentioning it makes me bothered.

It’s as simple as this: I transferred because I saw myself more into studying, my dreams
wouldn’t be achieved except in this field(engineering). The degree that I’m working on can
makes me more in control of more things. I can establish a factory, work in a factory, or be a
CEO years from here. Studying gives me balance in life back in Virginia commonwealth
university I didn’t have it because the curriculum was studio based. Half of your time is
working, and the studio is really intense. We have electives, but the class is not that intense
like everyone end up having an A in the class (not really an accomplishment). I’m here
because I want to be here. I’m here because I feel everything is in the right place. I’m here
because I feel that I’m challenged enough in a field that I like.

If my future daughter wanted to be a designer, I would be the first person who encourage
her to achieve her dreams. Those people are happy and successful. I hate when society
limits a person in a specific field only because they think it’s right. Honey you are wrong! A
developed country is the country who have a spot for every field at least. I’m not against
expressing myself and saying what I hated in my previous university but it more like why
would I say that they don’t have a future? That’s so rude! Every field has Its own need.

I tried finally writing a third draft for this essay in order to focus on the framing concept.
And I’m trying so bad to not get mad and try to recall the positive memories because I feel
when I rewrite the essay, it’s like I’m trying to justify myself. Specific details were provided. I
wrote it, but I felt that it was so similar from the narrative essay. I felt good about the third
draft. What I’m currently planning to work on is my references and adding more links. I’m
glad that I have narrowed down my framing concept because I always face this problem of
having a very broad idea. I followed professor Mystei’s advice on writing on what it hurts. It
turned out wonderful. I changed a lot of the events. I wrote specific details and the most
interesting part is that I expressed myself and emotions in this paper. Everything that lead
me to think about transferring every single detail mattered in this story.

What If it was the last chance?

This is how It goes in VCU, the first year is foundation. You take studios that gives you an
idea of every major and then you have to do projects for each major in order to major in
one of them. In my second year at my first graphic design semester. I wake up every
morning at 8:00 am. I dress up and get ready. I leave at 8:30. My classes mostly starts at
9:30 so I try to finish other assignments before my studio starts. The studio is not like a
normal class its three hours. And then I have a break at 12:30. And then a studio at 2:00.
This was my schedule for every single day. I leave at 5:00 pm from university 5 days a week.
This semester made re-think the decisions that I have make in my life. That fact that I can’t
see the sun made me so miserable. This was the semester that I had 5 studios which means
no elective at all. I tried living and going every day to university for just studios and I hated
it. I knew that electives meant something to me even though they weren’t that intense. I
write a draft and then the professor corrects it for me and then I just have to add these
adjustments to my paper. And then Here’s the “A”. Every single word my graphic design
professors said about designers I listened to. And I listened so carefully. For instance, once
my professor was talking about a specific characrestics that a designer should have and then
he said:” If you are not really like that or not considering paying attention to these details
you belong somewhere else”. I heared these sentences over and over a lot. One of my
friends told me that I always do whatever I want in making posters. If my professor told me
a specific comment and I didn’t like, I will do whatever I want. Comparing myself to
everyone else I didn’t even care nor saw the things that they noticed. These small details
really matter in Graphic Design major and for designers in general. It’s like saying I’m an
engineer but I can’t do critical thinking, or I hate math. For someone who tried nearly both
fields I knew that I started to shift more into studying scientific subjects.

I was sitting in my theory and communication class in Virginia Commonwealth university at

Qatar. It was 9:30 am. I’m in my second year majored in Graphic design. Most of my studios
starts at this time which I consider as a totally a good thing. I pulled my chair put it in the
middle of the class in order to form a circle with the chairs of my classmates. Nearly every
week we had to do a confession session and express our feelings and emotions towards the
load of work in Professor peter class. At this class we had to do some assignments, but
students sometimes end up not caring too much about it or being so late in the class. At this
day specifically, more than half of the class were printing going around like they weren’t
really prepared. The problem was that professor peter was inside the classroom and he saw
all of that. He was calm and relaxed he waited for everyone to finish what they had to finish
and then we started forming the circle. He sat on the chair asked us about how we were
doing. Then he started talking about design and some concepts. I was feeling a bit dizzy. All
what I was thinking of is the 15-minute break, so I can refresh my mind a bit. The tone of the
professor suddenly became higher he said sarcastically but at the same time in a serious
way: “why do you think a company would like to hire you and pay for you a certain amount
of money when they can hire an Indian guy and pay for him 1000 Qatari riyal instead of the
work that you do”. This sentence hit me like an iceberg. I felt suddenly miserable that this is
the truth of the place that I’m in. It was more like a motivational speech to make us work
harder but for a hard-working person like me. It was so much deeper than this. I had an
ambition to achieve. As a person I like to be heared, listen to, and when I speak I want to
have respect. I want to improve things in society. Make developments in our everyday living
in Qatar. My design theory was creating sustainability in Qatar but when I heard what the
professor said I was shocked how the world perceive design. Things got so much worse. I
felt that I’m in the wrong place day by day. When I refer back to my first year. It passed, and
I haven’t even took an action about transferring to Texas A and M.I thought that these ideas
are coming up to me because I have a big load that’s why I didn’t payed a lot of attention.
The fact that I majored in graphic design was actually because of the sponsor. They advised
me to enroll to Graphic Design and I did. The thing is when you get attached to a responser,
you can’t quite do anything in terms of changing your major. And If you did It will be so
much complicated. Nearly in every class that I toke I saw signs. And this exactly where my
story began.

I was in my imaging class and it was around 2:30 pm. Besides me sits Sara a very talkative
spontaneous girl who usually gets so engaged with her conversations and doesn’t feel that
her voice is so loud. Sara and her friend Maryam were talking about Texas A and M
university. Maryam said furiously: “Thanks god that the university was understanding, and
they let the acceptance opened to nearly two years”. Maryam’s cousin was accepted by the
university, but each Qatari man has to take military training after graduating from high
school that’s why they let their acceptance open for 2 years. As soon as I heared that, I
immediately thought about my acceptance in chemical engineering at Texas A and M
university. I went home, I ran to my mom’s room to see her laying in her bed. I came and
hugged her. I told her in a low voice: “there is something that I want to talk to you about”.
She adjusted her posture because she realized it’s a serious thing. I told her about all the
details and before saying all of that, I bare and understood that It was already late but there
is a small chance. I bared in my mind that If I didn’t take this chance, I might never have the
opportunity to be an engineer to the rest of my life. All of those inventions or ideas that I
dream to work on and develop will not be considered because I’m a designer and all what I
do is art.
I scheduled an appointment with one of the admission faculty the next day. I had to skip
one of my studios. My mom took me, and we went immediately to Texas A and M university
specifically to the admission office. I sat down and told the men about everything that I
wanted to know. I told him if that was possible to transfer to Texas. And as I did not expect,
everything went very well. The transition phase was so smooth. Everything was good my
GPA, grades, papers that I had to submit. I just had to write an essay of the reasons that I
have to transfer. The only issue was the sponsor and at this point I didn’t really care because
It was a problem from the beginning. So, it wasn’t quite a reason to stop me from
transferring. I had a decision at that point that I was willing to transfer to Qatar university
and major in Engineering there but not stay in VCU.I knew very well what I wanted. I wanted
a degree that have a strong knowledge background. In order to be in a position in society
that makes you able to change things, develop plans and suggests new ideas for
sustainability and environments. I believed that engineering degree can take me to the sky
and above. It can achieve my dreams.
For me what I was doing at this phase in my life did not helped my in achieving my future
dreams. It wasn’t enough, I wanted to be challenged more. I want to take risks, be scared,
and fail and then experience how success is. I want to try new things. I want to get back to
studying because studying was my strength for somehow in my life. When I study hard
subjects like chemistry, physics or biology I feel wonderful. I had a balance in my life when I
majored in medicine at high school. Every weekend I starts to draw which created for me
mental balance.

It all made me make up my mind when my “imaging1” professor told us that we had to do a
research about LNG ship. This ship transfers the gas from Qatar to Japan. There was 3 of
them and they come in different sizes. We had to work with chemical engineers and
petroleum engineers at Texas A and M university. This project made me extremely excited.
Those three weeks that we spent to prepare for this project made me want to transfer to
Texas so bad. When we started getting into details I provided my professor with half of the
statistics. For instance, I knew that Qatar has nearly 10% of London’s stock. I knew that
Qatar makes investments and deals out of the extra money that comes out from oil and gas
deals. I was so excited when telling them with those details, they were so amazed.
Suddenly, my professor told me:” Omg Fatima how did you know all of these information’s
and statistics”. I smiled and told him that It was from my social science class. The project has
finished. We didn’t meet with any of Texas students in order to explain for us how these
ships are, or what Is the process of transferring the gas. For me, a new fire was inside my
heart. A passionate fire that made me realize where I belong to more.

I was sitting and sketching drafts of components in order to make my own type. I was in my
typography class. And suddenly I received a call from Texas A and M university that I was
accepted in their chemical engineering major. I felt so happy, my heart froze from
happiness. I had the feeling of a bird that was inside a cage and then they finally let him
free. A month and two weeks later, I was walking in one of Texas corridors. I saw a
transparent rectangular box and inside it there was a ship It was black from the bottom with
a red line. There was a gold square in front of it that has a type that said” LNG carrier ship”. I
took a photo of it smiled and walked away.

Day by day I saw the improvement that happened in my life in many aspects. When I speak
I’m listened to, when I have an idea it can be turned to an invention. I had more
encouragement on things that I was interested in. Like how to transfer solar energy in other
forms and how to get benefit from that? Since the first in Texas A and M and the feeling of
satisfactions increases in me. There will be challenges and lots of them but It’s all doable If
you trust yourself and the destiny that lead you to this place.
I see myself as a person in society who can take control of things. When I think about my
future as an engineer all what come in my mind is good position and research development.
I was glad that I listen to myself and followed what my heart told me to do. As Philip Sweet
said: “Stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learn. Work hard, and never give up on
your dreams.”(Brainy quote,2001)

References

Brainy Quotes. (2001). Retrieved from https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/dreams-quotes