Pearson Tutor Services Response

Student Name: Jessica

Title: Research Assignment

Date: October 27, 2010

Tutor Name: Casey

Hi, Jessica,
I’m Casey, your tutor for today’s session.

Summary:
This is a research paper on the career you’d like to pursue and how adult learning theories will
help you as you pursue this goal.

Strengths of the Writing:

It works well that you organize your paper by first discussing the career you’d like to pursue and
the skills you need, then moving into adult learning theory in the second part of the paper. This
strategy separates out the two main elements of the assignment and helps the reader follow
the paper.

Content:
a) Thesis/Main Idea:
Most research papers include a main idea or thesis statement early on in the paper that
identifies the writer’s purpose in writing. Your paper seems to lack such a statement, and as a
result the reader may be confused about why you’re writing and may have trouble following
your ideas. This statement is generally:

 a declarative sentence (or two or three)

 clear and precise

 placed at the end of the first paragraph or early in the essay after an introduction

 a reflection of the topics discussed in the body paragraphs

These statements might seem like your thesis/main idea statement: “A few goals i would like to
per sure while working in this Field is working for a major fashion magazine as a fashion editor
also to be a buyer for a company and working on fashion runways. There is different Fields in
fashion, but there are a handful of skills that you will need for this career.”

However, it doesn’t come at the end of the paragraph, and you don’t organize your discussion
by these topics. This first part of your essay is difficult to follow because you move from talking
about marketing to merchandising, and it’s not clear if these are parts of the field you are
interested in or if these are skills you need or what logic is guiding this discussion.

The first step to organizing your discussion would be writing a thesis statement that reflects
your main idea, your purpose for writing this essay. Such a thesis statement might look
something like this, as I draw on some of your statement that is already there:

My degree in fashion marketing and design will allow me to reach my goals of working
for a major fashion magazine as a fashion editor also to be a buyer for a company and
working on fashion runways. There are a handful of skills that I will need in this field,
including marketing, merchandising, and XYZ. Understanding adult learning theories
will help me be successful because XYZ.

This is just one example. Write a thesis statement that reflects the elements you will discuss in
your body paragraphs. Place it at the end of the first paragraph. The XYZ are placeholders for
whatever ideas you think fit there best /however you want to direct your discussion.

Organization:
Once you write a thesis statement, use it as a guide to organize and structure your body
paragraphs.

I also notice that you seem to have placed your title page and abstract after the text of your
paper, rather than before it, where they are generally placed. The abstract’s purpose is to
prepare the reader for the content of the paper, as a type of “preview,” so it makes sense that
it comes before. You will want to move the title page and the abstract to come before the text
of your paper.

Use of Resources:
APA format requires a “references” page at the end of your essay that lists the sources you
used. You don’t seem to include one. You also don’t seem to be using correct conventions of
APA style that help your reader understand whether you are quoting, paraphrasing, or citing a
source and what material comes from the source.
Please see the tip sheet on using APA for this assignment. This tip sheet has been pasted to the
end of your document. For more help with APA style and for specific questions, please talk to
your facilitator or refer to the style manual or other resources recommended by your
facilitator.

Action Plan:

1) Write a main idea/thesis statement and place it at the end of the first paragraph.

2) Revise your body paragraphs to reflect the topics in that main idea statement.

3) Move your abstract and title page before the text of your paper.

4) Be sure all of your sources are relevant to your discussion, introduced, explained, and
properly cited. Review the APA tip sheet.

5) Proofread and spell check the essay before resubmitting it to Pearson Tutor Services
or posting it to your professor.

Hope this helps. Happy Writing!

Casey
 Jessica Grice

Academic and Professional Success

10/25/210

Research Assignment

The career that I'm going to pursue is Fashion Marketing and design. This fast

pace environment is something I look ford to doing. The fashion industry is the type of

career where you learn more than just fashion. A few goals i would like to per sure while

working in this Field is working for a major fashion magazine as a fashion editor also to

be a buyer for a company and working on fashion runways. [Do you discuss being a

fashion editor at any point throughout the essay? If you mention it, you should develop that

idea.] There is different Fields in fashion, but there are a handful of skills that you will

need for this career. [Which fields would you like to pursue?] Marketing is a very important

skill you will need to track sales data, know what the costumer want in the future so you

can work with the designers. Marketers are responsible for helping the fashion

producers target customers. You must know the wholesale and retail levels, also to

know where and when to sell the products. Marketing also involves adverting to the

media and so on with quality, low price or trendiness.

This is also related to merchandising a career that i really in joy. [This

seems like a new idea the way it’s phrased. Can you connect it to your main idea?] It

attempts improve sales and includes the costumers to buy the products like
 marketing, with merchandising you must know when, where and why you’re

selling the right costumers. Fashion merchandisers must inform the marketers

about what the costumers and the next fashion trends. Without fashion shows

the fashion industry would not be the same. These are primary and at fashion

journalists and buyers for department stores whole sales and other markets. You

must know of every fashion show, and market producers. Present outfits that

might be ordered by potential clients.

Fashion designers play a major role in the fashion world and a great skill

everyone should have. Designers promote and make their clothes to buyers, journalist,

retailers and costumers. Helping out with fashion shows and magazines being in

fashion merchandising is something I want to be. Working in the fashion industry you

must know more that your degree in fashion marketing and design will prepare me in

this field. In marketing it have so many position and design to have twice are more it

covers everything O would need and will help me get to me career.

There are many ways to explain the adults learning theory. Children threw out

their hole elementary through high school you’ve been thought to learn a certain way.

Now the challenge is. Is one decides to contain in higher learning , there are different

learning theories too must obtain, : adults are about to chase the appropriate

synchronous learning tools are different levels of interaction using adult learning

principles, they are able to learn effectively” (murugian, 2005). In this essay explain

what adult learning theories works best for me and why it is important for others to

options this in everyday life situations.

 In my study in fashion marketing, cooperative learning is very important.

Cooperative learning is one of the most commonly used forms of active pedagogy. Its

takes places with ones interaction with his or hers environment and peers, cooperative

learning is largely based on the idea that students learn through social context (Adams

and Hamm 1994). When thinking about cooperative learning I believe it will help me

with the environment is what will make you successful. Interaction with others helps

makes sense of what I’m learning as I become more responsible for articulating and

discussing class issues with peers or any other life situation threw your adult life. It’s

very important that cooperative learning be a part of my very day life. In the fashion

industry, Interaction and communication is a must. Being the person I am I can see

myself doing this? My career goals are to be a buyer, work for magazines, and work on

fashion runways; this also connects with action learning. Threw action learning I will

develop a conversation and interaction with people working in that business. Action

learning is a pedagogical practice that helps participant. (Fox, 2008) [Is this a quote or a

paraphrase? Introduce it and place it in context.] in my major you are learning is for

everyone it needs to be a learned and understood.

Adult learning theory helps us to understand the needs of people as they

learn and make meaning as stated in Knowles adult learning principles. First among

these theorists is, Malcolm Knowles (1980). His theory provides centered guidelines for

adults. I will state a few, Adults must recognize the necessity of learning something

before undertaking to learn it; Adults recognize responsible for their own decision for

their own lives; Adults enter an educational experience with more and different

experience that youths. All these theories are very helpful for my college career and
beyond that. Adult learning theory helps us to understand the right needs for us to learn

and make meaning of them.

Addressing APA Documentation and Formatting:

A Pearson Tutor Services Tutorial for AIU Students

This tip sheet for APA has been developed by Pearson Tutor Services to help you build your
skills in using APA style documentation and document development.

The Research Goals

Reports produced in disciplines that would use APA style stress observations of behavior, self-reporting
from behavior subjects (interviews), surveys and questionnaire, and experiments. Thus, reports
generally have certain sections:
 Front matter (title page with running heading)
 Abstract (second page)
 Report
o Introductory section:
 Summary or review of research
 Main idea (reason for writing the report), which can be stated as a hypothesis or
a research question
o Body of the text (which can include types of development such as):
 Case study analysis
 Problem-solving analysis
 Research from original experimentation
 Research from other sources
o Concluding section:
 Summary of findings or main points
 Articulation of conclusion, which can be the response to the research question
or the verification /debunking of the hypothesis
 References page (list of resources)
 Appendices (if appropriate)

Documentation: In-text Citations

Regardless of what reference style you use, the important common features are:
 Accurate quoting and/or paraphrase
  The need to cue the reader when borrowing begins (i.e., reference to a study, source,
etc. or the use of opening quotation marks)
 The need to cue the reader when the borrowing has ended (i.e., closing quotation marks
if text has been quoted; parenthetical citation if it didn’t come earlier in the sentence)
 A sentence that explains the relevance of the borrowed material to the development of
the report
 A complete bibliographic entry for each source cited in the text in a “references-type”
section of the essay, usually at the end of the document

With APA documentation, place the in-text citation as close to the borrowed material as possible. For
example:

1) Brown (2009) argued that consumption of chocolate is crucial for students in

communications business classes because it helps them to focus on their work.
Notice that in example 1, the author (Brown) is a grammatical part of the sentence. In this case, the lack
of quotation marks indicates that the writer is paraphrasing Brown.

2) The definitive study (Williams, 1999) established the positive impact on the
“cerebral cortex of college students, enhancing the ability to accurately identify
strong communications practices and to provide support for why those practices
would strengthen a business’s team structure” (p. 32).
In this case, the author (Williams) is not a grammatical part of the sentence. Also, the use of quotation
marks indicates that the quoted phrase has been copied word-for-word from Williams. Try to make less
than 10% of your paper actual quotes because your research is supposed to support your ideas—not to
be your entire paper! The page reference follows at the end of the sentence in which the quote is found.

3) According to Hewett (2008), senior managers reported that “employees who

struggle with when and how to use email appropriately” generally claim not to have
ingested chocolate “within four hours of their attempted communication” (p. 16).
In the case of example 3, the author (Hewett) is introduced as the one being quoted. The page reference
follows at the end of the sentence.

When quotations are 40 words or longer, type them as inset, or “block,” without quotation marks. Place
a period at the end of the final sentence. Then place the in-text citation inside parentheses. For
example:

4) Chocolate has been known to help people before modern business found a use for
it:
Chocolate’s value as a stimulant has been known for a long time. It is only
recently that its unique properties have been used in such practical areas as
business communications. Employees who have used this relatively innocuous
cocoa product have reported amazing results, leading researchers to reflect that
chocolate’s properties are crucial to workers’ abilities to focus when addressing
especially challenging communication situations. (Brown, 2009, p. 64)
In example 4, the author of the lengthy quote was not introduced as a part of the quote introduction.
The introduction to a lengthy quote always includes a colon.
Documentation: References
In APA, the resources are:
 Arranged alphabetically by the first word in the entry (usually the author’s last name)
 Formatted using a “hanging indent” (use the appropriate “special” code under “indents and
spacing” in ®Word)
 Double-spaced

In APA, notice that:

1) An initial is used instead of the author’s first name,
2) The date is placed next to the author’s name, and
3) Capital letters are used only for the first words of a title’s “phrase.”

APA Style
American Psychological Association (APA) 6th
edition

Book: 1 Williams, D. (1999). Writing in business. Wichita, KS:

author Newman Press.

Book: 2 Hewett, B. L., & Cricket, J. (2008). Preparing workers for

authors business writing. Urbana, IL: NCTE.

Book: 3+ Williams, D., Warner, A., Ritke-Jones, W., and Brown, J.

authors (2010). Email communications. Baltimore, MD:
Hopkins Press.

Chapter Mouse, M. (2009). What’s the difference? Reinventing

in an email and employee experience. In A. Warner (Ed.)
edited Communicating in the workplace (pp. 23-30).
Wichita, KS: Newman Press.
collection

Journal Kafka, J. (2006, November). The effects of internal email

(print) on employee morale. Business Writing, 7(4), 33-41.

Journal Kafka, J. (2006, November). The effects of internal email

(online on employee morale. Business Writing, 7(4), 33-41.
database) Retrieved December 9, 2006 from EbscoHost
Database.

Web site Brown, J. (2000). A plan to take over the world of email.
Retrieved December 9, 2004 from
http://www.gates.com/plan.htm

In-text (Williams, 1999, p. 2) [Notice how commas are needed

citations to separate the elements of author, date, and page.]

Referenc References
e page

Formatting: Writing Style

1. APA generally tends to avoid first person usage with scientific reports and some business
writing. Typically, the student should use the third person unless the professor says otherwise.
2. APA recommends avoiding poetic language.
3. APA recommends avoiding biased language.
4. APA recommends using the past tense or present perfect tense with signal phrases that describe
earlier research.
a. Jones (1998) found
b. Jones (1998) has found
Formatting: Appearance of the Text

EFFECTS OF CHOCOLATE 1

The Effects of Chocolate on Business Communications

Brittany Arnold

AIU University
 EFFECTS OF CHOCOLATE 2

Abstract

This is a wonderful, short abstract. This report surveys research on

the impact of eating chocolate on the successful development of a

business communication. The cocoa bean has been shown to have a

positive impact on the identification of email, telephone, and Webinar

meeting communication strategies.

Note: The running head (EFFECTS OF CHOCOLATE) is a fully capitalized and shortened version of the
paper’s title. It is created using the “header” space provided in your word processing software. It is a
“running” head because it appears on each page with the current page’s number.

Note: The Abstract is a summary of the main points of your essay. It summarizes the problems and
solutions presented, and it may cite some of the research used. The Abstract is page 2 of the report. It
does not take the place of an introduction to the report. It is helpful to write the abstract after you have
completed one or two drafts of the report.

APA Style uses a unique headings system to separate and classify paper sections. There are 5 heading
levels in APA. The 6th edition of the APA manual revises and simplifies previous heading guidelines.
Regardless of the number of levels, always use the headings in order, beginning with level 1. The format
of each level is illustrated below:

Level 1 – Centered, Bold, Uppercase and Lowercase Heading

Level 2 – Left-aligned, Bold, Uppercase and Lowercase Heading

Level 3 – Indented, boldface, lowercase heading ending with a period.

Level 4 – Indented, boldface, italicized, lowercase heading with a period.

Level 5 – Indented, italicized, lowercase heading with a period.

Thus, if the essay has four sections, some of which have subsections and some of which don’t, use
headings depending on the level of subordination. Section headings receive level 1 format. Subsections
receive level 2 format. Subsections of subsections receive level 3 format, and so on.

In APA Style, the Introduction section never gets a heading and headings are not indicated by letters or
numbers. Levels of headings will depend upon the length and organization of your paper. Regardless,
always begin with level one headings and proceed to level two, etc. [When the text starts, the running
title continues, as does the pagination. Below, the levels of headings are illustrated.

EFFECTS OF CHOCOLATE 3

The Effects of Chocolate on Business Communications

The introduction begins here without a heading and continues until

you have provided the background material and introduction to the

problem. Your current assignment requires an introduction. xxxxxxxxx

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scenario 1 (Level 1)

Problem (Level 2) [Discuss each section of the essay thoroughly, using

outside sources for support.]

Proposed Solution (Level 2)

Scenario 2 (Level 1)

Problem (Level 2)

Proposed Solution (Level 2)

Conclusion (Level 1)

The conclusion can begin here without a level 2 subheading if there are

no second level points to be made.

[When needed:]

Level 3 looks like this. (Level 3)

Level 4 looks like this. (Level 4)

Level 5 looks like this. (Level 5)

 EFFECTS OF CHOCOLATE 18

References

Brown, J. (2010). Just eat: Percentages of effective business emails and

chocolate consumption. The effective communicator. Retrieved
from http://www.businesschocolate.org
Kafka, J. (2006, November). The effects of internal email on employee
morale. Business Writing 7(4), 33-41.

Research Assignment

Jessica Grice

American Intercontinental University

 Fashion Marketing and Design

October 25, 2010

Fashion Marketing and design is a fast pace environment it’s something I look

forward to doing. The fashion industry is the type of career where you learn more than

just fashion, it is very hands on. Cooperative learning in the fashion industry is

interaction and communication and is a must. [The abstract should be placed before the

paper.]