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Your dreams of being with her and her desire to be with you both die when you PUT
YOURSELF in the friend zone.

We’ve all been friend zoned at least once in our life and if you’re reading this, you’re
probably there right now and trying to get out of it.

The friend zone is where guys who don’t know how to attract women end up and it takes
some serious work to get out of it.

In the friend zone, she’s feeling no attraction for you and

thinking of you only as a friend.

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You Can’t Talk Your Way Out of The Friend

Zone

Trying to talk your way out of the friend zone, convincing her of what a great guy you are,
why you’re better than the “jerks” she likes, and what a big mistake she’s making won’t Top Free Tips
work or get you closer to being her boyfriend. The phrase “actions speak louder than
words” applies to the friend zone because your ACTIONS put you in the friend zone in the 22 Ways to Get Out of

first place. The Friend Zone

What to Do When She

You much change your actions and behavior to get out of the
Stops Calling and
friend zone.
Texting - 15 Things

6 Ways to Get Her

Phone Number Fast and
Only your actions will change her mind – not your words. You also can’t try changing HER
Easy
because that will push you even deeper into friend zone where it’s no man’s land.

11 Signs She's Playing

Your behavior got you into the mess you’re in and only your behavior will get out of it.
Games and Wasting
Your Time
You’re in the Friend Zone Because You’re 21 Reasons She's Not
BEING Unattractive Calling or Texting Back

It doesn’t matter if she finds you physically attractive. Again, your behavior and actions put
you in the friend zone. On the other side of the coin, she can think you’re ugly and still feel
a lot of attraction for you. Your behavior, not your looks, is why you’re in the friend zone.
Free eBook

Trying Harder to do the Same Things Keeps

You In the Friend Zone
If what you’re doing isn’t working, don’t try harder – try something different. Something you
haven’t done before.

Don’t work harder – work smarter.

Here are 22 reasons you’re in the friend zone and 22 smarter and more effective ways to
avoid the friend zone when interacting with women. These things change your situation,
change the way she sees you, change how she FEELS, and change her mind about what
kind of “friend” you are to her.

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1. Accept It

It’s easy to lie to yourself about being in the friend zone and say, “She’s wrong! When the
time is right, she’ll know what a great guy I am and she’ll want to be with me forever.”

Don’t kid yourself. She’s not going to magically change her mind because of one little thing
you say or do. Attraction is deeper than that.

The first step to crawling out of the friend zone is to accept that
you’re in it.

You need to accept:

The reality of your situation

YOUR ACTIONS put you there
You won’t EVER escape the friend zone unless you change your thinking, actions, and
habits
She doesn’t want the type of guy you’re being. Something about it doesn’t make her
“feel” attraction for you
Changing your thoughts, behavior, and habits is the only way you’ll get out of the friend
zone
The problem isn’t:

Women don’t appreciate a “great” guy like you

Other “jerks” and “bad boys”
The world doesn’t work the way it’s “supposed to”
Acceptance is the first step to overcoming your situation.

2. Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

Women aren’t attracted to “victim-minded” men and they definitely won’t let you out of the
friend zone because they feel sorry for you. The more you act like a victim about it, the
deeper you get stuffed into there.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself, be mad at yourself, feel like you’re a loser, or feel like women
will never give you a chance to be more than a friend. You’ll only make getting out of the
friend zone that much harder.

Just tell yourself, “Ok it’s cool. I’m not going to beat myself up. I got myself into this and I’ll
get myself out.” Leave your emotions and feelings out of it.

The more negative you are about it, the deeper you’ll dig yourself
into the friend zone.

3. Stop Obsessing Over Her

Stop thinking about her way more than you should. It’s kind of creepy and, over time, not
healthy.

If she’s on your mind the second you wake up, every minute of every hour of every day,
and you’re constantly staring at her pictures on Facebook, it’s too much. Tone it down.

Obsessing over her keeps you in the friend zone.

Get a life and become too busy to think about her. Delete her photos from the “downloads”
section of your phone that you stole off of Facebook. Stop stalking her on social media to
see what she’s doing, where she’s at, what she’s posted, or who she’s talking to. Stop
talking about her and asking about her when you’re around mutual friends.

Get your mind off of her and place your focus on something else.

4. Stop Calling and Texting So Much

If you want the attraction she feels for you to change drastically, you have to stop calling
and texting so much.

She’s not going anywhere and you won’t die if you don’t talk to her. She won’t be worried
sick that something happened to you.

It’s important to create a “pattern interrupt”. If you have developed the pattern of calling
and texting every single day, you need to interrupt the pattern by not calling and texting so
much. Interrupt the pattern of her only seeing you as a friend by disappearing and making
her wonder, “Where did he go? I haven’t heard from him.”

Not calling and texting so much GETS HER ATTENTION and

interrupts the “friend zone pattern”.

When you stop calling and texting, you have her attention more than you normally do and
you begin the process of getting out of the friend zone.

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5. Become Challenging – Make Her Work for

Your Attention

You put yourself in the zone when you’re WAY too easy. She doesn’t want a guy who isn’t a
challenge.

You’re not worth her time or attention if she doesn’t have to

work for it.

Have you ever noticed that guys who talk to other women, have a girlfriend, or have a wife
get more attention from women? Ever notice she’s way more interested in the guy with
more female options and doesn’t settle for any woman?

It’s because women are competitive and they’re more attracted to what they can’t have.

If you’re easy to get, you’re not seen as less valuable than the guy who’s a challenge.

6. Stop Running Your Mouth

Running your mouth and telling her your life story does not make her feel attraction. It
removes the mystery, excitement, and wonder and she winds up BORED.

What makes someone so fun, exciting, and cool when you meet them? It’s because you’re
getting to know them! If you knew everything there was to know about someone within the
first day of meeting them, you wouldn’t be as excited to hang out with them and you
wouldn’t have as much fun.

You ruin the fun when you tell women everything about yourself.

Stop opening your mouth and revealing the details of your life. Logical thinking says the
less she knows about you, the less she’ll want to be around you but the opposite is true.
The less she knows, the more “fun” she has getting to know you.

7. Let Her Miss You

When you disappear for a while and quit calling and texting so much, you give her the
opportunity to miss you, think about you, and wonder about you. You’re interrupt the
“friend zone” pattern and she feels the void of you not being there. Before you know it,
she’s missing you, wants to talk to you, wants to know how you’re doing, what you’re doing,
and who you’re doing it with.

Stand out by being absent. Use her curiosity to start pulling

yourself out of the friend zone.

Thomas Haynes Bayly said in the song “Isle of Beauty” in 1839 – “Absence makes the
heart grow fonder.”

8. Show Less Interest

When you take time away from her and them come around to talking to her again, show
less interest than you did before. If you show too much interest, she KNOWS she still has
you wrapped around her finger and can still “have you” if she wants.

Showing less interest makes you more challenging, mysterious,

and harder to get – which she wants.

Women are always more interested in the guy who’s not showing as much interest.

I didn’t say to quit being interested – just stop letting your interest in her obvious. Keep it to
yourself. After time goes by, she’ll unconsciously start showing and communicating more
interest towards YOU.

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9. Stop Caring So Much

When she talks about other guys, showing you care and getting weird and jealous will get
you thrown in the friend zone with the other guys who care too much. Instead, when she
talks about other guys, don’t let it bother you. If it does bother you, don’t let it show.

When she sees you’re a guy who doesn’t give a damn, it sparks
more attraction.

She becomes attracted to your “carefree” and laid back attitude because she’s used to
guys getting bent out of shape over small things.

Show her you’re different by not caring about things that don’t matter.

10. Relax

Being tense, unable to relax, and nervous tells her she has power over you.

She wants you to be calm, cool, and relaxed and when you’re not, she’s puts you in friend
zone.

When you’re not calm, cool, and relaxed, your energy causes her
to feel weird being around you.

She feels on edge, fidgety, and full of anxiety. It kills her ability to feel attraction for you.

When you’re relaxed, she lets her guard down, chills out, and has a good time with you.

Next time you’re around her and you’re nervous, uptight, and full of anxiety, go to the
bathroom, put some water on your face, take a couple of deep breaths, and relax your
mind. You need to develop the ability to calm your brain and body down, calm your
breathing, focus, and you’ll feel better.

11. Stop Putting Her on a Pedestal

the #1 thing most, if not all, guys in the friend zone have in common is they’re too nice and
they worship women. They think the nicer they are, the more compliments they give, and
the more they suck up to her, the more she’ll see what a great guy they are. This pushes
them so deep into the friend zone that even a search and rescue team won’t find them.

To get out of the friend zone and stay out of it, quit:

Seeking her approval and validation

Caring so much what she thinks about you
Trying to be nicest guy in the world

She won’t think you’re a bad guy if you stop putting her on a
pedestal and being too nice.

In fact, she’ll appreciate you more for it and think you’re a pretty cool guy. She’s TIRED of
men sucking up to her, seeking her approval, and showering her with compliments. She
sees it as weak behavior.

12. Stop Letting Her Use You

If you’re buying her things, spending money on her, and paying her bills, she’ll
automatically friend zone you because she doesn’t respect you. Women use men they
don’t respect and if you’re buying her attention, some will take the bait and pretend to be
interested in you.

The story is the same every single time. Women say, “Hey, if he’s dumb enough to always
offer me money and think I’m really interested in him, he deserves it.”

If she thinks you’re dumb and gullible and she can pull a “fast
one” on you, she’ll automatically friend zone you.

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13. Make Her Fix Her Own Problems

Being the guy fixing women’s problems so you can be a hero or knight in shining armor
won’t get you far. In fact, you’ll only wind up friend zone feeling unhappy, worn out, and
used.

When she has problems she created, don’t be the guy who makes it all better. Don’t be the
guy who makes it all go away.

She’s a responsible adult. If she created the problems, she’s able

to solve and figure them out for herself.

14. Stop Being Her Girlfriend

Attempting to get closeer to her by being her “friend” is a big mistake.

Don’t be the guy who:

Listens to her “guy problems”

Goes shopping with her
Holds her purse while she dances with other guys
Gives her relationship advice when you secretly are in love with her
Lets her use you as a taxi
Constantly agrees her says, “Gosh, I know right!”
Invites her to have a “friendly” cup of coffee when you really want it to be a date
It’s better to be the guy who says, “I’m not trying to be your girlfriend or your ‘friend'” over
the guy who says, “I’m glad we’re such good friends” and never speaks up about his true
intentions.

Women don’t magically fall in love with their best guy friend
who is too scared to reveal his true feelings.

It only works in the movies. Realistically, she’ll say, “Awww. But you’re such a great friend. I
don’t want to mess that up.” – and off you’ll go to into the friend zone.

15. Tell Her “No”

To get her to take you seriously, start telling her “no” – regardless of how much you like
her. “No” gets her attention, wakes her up, and tells her she’s dealing with a man who
knows what he wants and doesn’t settle for less.

Women friend zone and don’t respect “yes men” but love men who aren’t afraid to say
“no”.

If get out of the friend zone and stay out of it, tell her “no”, set
boundaries, and don’t do anything you don’t want to do.

16. Keep Your “Feelings” To Yourself

You go from potential boyfriend to friend zone material is when you get emotional, open
your mouth, spill your guts, and reveal your “feelings”. Women have a lot of experience
with this and they can see it about to happen. So, when you say you want to “talk”, she
walks you over to the friend zone door, opens it, and when you “confesses your love”, she
says, “Aww that’s sweet!” Then she kicks you in, slams the door, and locks it.

You have to keep your feelings to yourself if you want to get out
of the friend zone.

You have to stop:

Confessing to her how much you like her

Telling her how wonderful and perfect she is
Communicating how lovesick and lonely you are
Being too transparent and easy to “figure you out”
Stick to the 50/50 rule. If she tells you she “likes” you, you her “I like you too.” When she
says she misses you, you tell her “I miss you too.” Etc. NEVER, ever, take it farther than
she does… EVER. And if you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

NEVER reveal more than she’s revealing.

She’s gives YOU the power in the relationship when she confesses her “feelings” first –
which is what you want.

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17. Work on Yourself

A lot of men in the friend zone don’t want to physically, mentally, and emotionally improve
themselves to become more attractive to women. They make excuses, blame her for not
knowing what a “good guy” is, and believe that the perfect woman, who will appreciate and
accept them as they are, will magically appear in their life.

If you don’t do what it takes to get your act together and become the best version of
yourself, you’re lowering your chances of women accepting you “as you are”. You can
change your “as you are” by improving it, building upon it, and making it more attractive.

In the eBook and Audiobook How to Quit Being a Loser With Women, you’ll learn if you
want women to be attracted to you for “who you are”, then you have to improve yourself to
the point where your “who you are” is very attractive and appealing.

Improve “who you are” at the default level by working on

yourself every single day.

When you spend time every single day becoming better, it becomes second nature,
automatic, and unconscious. It becomes “who you are”.

18. Go On Dates and Don’t Discuss it with Her

You’re not doing anything wrong if you don’t tell her you go out on dates with other women.
IT’S NONE OF HER BUSINESS. You’re not dating her, she’s not your girlfriend or wife, and
she’s the person who stuck you in the friend zone. The more you leave to her imagination,
the more power you’re taking away from her and giving back to yourself and the more likely
she’ll be to want to be the girl you’re going out with.

If you want her to show interest instead of friend zoning you, it’s
necessary to create competition and scarcity.

It’s necessary to become a guy who has options and raise your value by letting her see
other women interested in you. You’re not playing mind games – you’re just communicating
you’re valuable and not friend zone material.

19. Stop Asking Permission

Friend zone guys ask “Is it OK?” questions. They seek permission before they do anything
because they’re afraid of her disapproving and running away.

In the eBook and Audiobook 99 Bad Boy Traits, you’ll learn that bad boys don’t ask for
permission. They don’t ask “is it ok?” before they do things. They just do it and they don’t
care what she thinks. If she doesn’t like it, she won’t slap you and run away or think you’re
a terrible person.

If you want to get out of the friend zone, stop seeking her
permission and stop being afraid to do what you’re going to do
around her.

Let’s be clear, this DOES NOT mean taking advantage of her in any way. It’s sad I have to
say that…

When you want to change the radio station or the song in the car, just do it. If you want to
scoot her over or grab her hand to pull her through a crowd, just do it. Deal with the
consequences later.

Without hesitation or being weird about it, take the lead and be a man around her.

20. Stop Following and Lead

Letting her take the lead, make the decisions, and call the shots will naturally cause her to
see you as less of a man. She wants you to take the lead without second-guessing
yourself.

Women naturally follow when you’re “in charge” and leading

the way.

If she has to make all the decisions and you’re constantly asking her to choose her
“favorite thing” so you can take her there, she’ll see as you weak and put you in the friend
zone.

Don’t be afraid to make the decisions, pick the place, pick the table, and even pick her
drink if she isn’t there to decide what she wants. Women are pretty flexible, no pun
intended, and not as picky as you think.

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21. Raise Your Standards

Highstandards on what you like, what you want, how you conduct yourself, and how others
conduct themselves around you is key to preventing being put in the friend zone.

Women like men with standards.

When want you to have a clear definition in your mind of what

you want, how you want it, where you want it, and you won’t
settle for less.

As a man, it gives you more power and communicates you’re absolutely sure of yourself.

22. Stop Being Submissive

And finally, being submissiveness will get you put in friend zone every single time.

She doesn’t want you to put her on a pedestal and worship her. She doesn’t want that
power over you.

Women want an equal. A guy who they’re happy WITH – not above or below him.

You’re not her servant. When she doesn’t want to feel above you or below you, but rather
an equal, she feels more attraction and is less likely to friend zone you.

Conclusion
Take these 22 ways to get out of the friend zone and incorporate them into “who you are”.
When you’re around women who tell you you’re “just a friend”, look at what you’re doing
and compare your behavior to what you’ve learned here.

With conscious practice, changing the way you think, changing the way your mind works,
changing your behavior, and changing your habits, you can maximize your chances of
getting out of the friend zone and avoid every going back there.

Thanks for reading,

– Marc Summers

The Science of the Friend Zone

The Science of the Friend Zone

Related

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Games and Wasting Your Wrapped Around Her Her (and 9 Ways Not to!)
Time Finger

‹ 12 Reasons She Cheated 21 Reasons She’s Not Calling or Texting Back ›

17 comments on “22 Ways to Get Out of The Friend Zone”

Allison says:
December 11, 2019 at 8:52 pm

I loved this list – it is actionable!

But, I am a woman in the friend zone! …My guy and I have very close for years, totally
innocently, but suddenly I realized I’d fallen in love, about 2 months ago. I told him as
much, and slept with him once :-/ but he feels there is too much at risk to pursue
anything romantic. (We live together as roommates and our families are super close; we
are in our 30s & our parents grew up together; we’ve all spent every holiday together,
always).

He has cherished me every day since this happened 2 months ago – but he doesn’t
cherish me romantically; which feels awful for me. I have blocked him on social media, i
do not use our nicknames with him anymore, i no longer say “love you”, and have
stopped hanging out w/him… because it kills me that he loves me – would damn near
take a bullet for me – but f*cks women who mean little if anything at all. I don’t ignore
him – we live together! but I shut down the unguarded & carefree vibe we’d always
had…

He notices my absence; he misses me; he tells me he loves and he shows me he loves

me dearly – but all w/o sexual signals. After I created this space between us, he has
doubled down on his workload – but I’m sure he has a list of women ready to f*ck him…
(we’re both good looking and I could date easily enough, but I don’t want sex that isn’t
‘magical’ lol; sex with him felt magical, the one time… smh).

I created space between us only 3 weeks go and he still insists on taking care of me
around the house, even though i no longer tell him my schedule or my whereabouts or
when i wont sleep at home… So he saves dinner for me, and does all of the handy-work
and chores and calls me when i don’t come home… and even though I created space
between us, I did offer to join him to visit his son in the hospital.

I want him to embrace & celebrate the opportunity(!!!) to have all of me as a woman…
any advice? He and I grew up together, through thick and thin. Does it matter that I
went to college and graduate school but he sees himself as uneducated and
unpolished? i adore all of him, because he protects all of me…

help me out, fellas!!

Reply

David O says:
November 28, 2019 at 5:04 am

Excellent list. I’m executing more than 3/4 of it since she asked for separation. It’s
adding up on MY account, I’m significantly improving besides having always improved
myself. The more powerful you become, the more you question if she’s still worth it.

Reply

Carlo says:
November 21, 2019 at 12:47 am

I wish I could’ve read this sooner before I messed everything up and getting friendzoned
two days ago, I admit I was being too open and too submissive to her and placed her on
a pedestal. Anyway, thanks for the advice, Marc, I really appreciated this piece and took
time to read it from top to bottom. Gonna start applying this kind of mentality from now
on.
Again, Thank you.

Reply

James says:
November 12, 2019 at 3:19 pm

I have messed twice and as close as just this evening for the second time! I am better
wiser but old habbits…. i will get to work !

Reply

Emmanuel says:
October 19, 2019 at 5:38 pm

After reading all this info. I realized that its actually my fault for being too nice to my so
called friend. We go to the gym together almost everyday before and we also go to the
movies as well but everything stopped because she said I don’t let her finish when she
talks, I don’t even do all these every time. Being too nice is also part of it too. She
spoke about it indirectly. I do text her every 3 or 4 days, which might be one of the
reasons why she avoided me and those reasons I mentioned above. So far , she
blocked me on WhatsApp for 2 weeks now.we haven’t seen each other for 3 weeks. I’ll
just have to let it go.

Reply

Boys so not frenzone says:

October 23, 2019 at 12:15 pm

Ye dude im sorry for you i have one and its hard my dude

Reply

Charlie says:
October 13, 2019 at 3:39 am

Literally signed up and made an account to say, this is great advice and worked for me!
Thanks!

Reply

SelfReliableMan says:
September 30, 2019 at 3:17 pm

That’s why I don’t want to fall in love and pursuit girls anymore. People are dishonest all
the time. I don’t need any special person to be super dishonest about the most
important things to me, which is my feelings. That’s just insane, pointless, garbage. I
can sort all my physical needs with money, but my psychological need cannot be solved
in this way you describe.

Reply

Shaiban Yakubu says:

August 7, 2019 at 10:10 am

I am a victim if most if the problems outlined I the write up and very much grateful for the
advice given. Thank you very much.

Reply

Vinnie says:
July 4, 2019 at 3:44 pm

Wonderful advice,,I totally lost a girlfriend but never knew the cause,, to my surprise
after going through this,,I’m now aware of what caused all that am grateful coz your talk
totally describes the have been

Reply

Jhay says:
August 4, 2019 at 11:26 am

After reading thisI realised I have been messing things up for myself all along, that
shit is gon change right now cus I just got enlightened.

Reply

sher says:
June 13, 2019 at 3:20 am

WAooo,, it really worked,, thank you so much… guys get his audio books, and listen to
them several times. Nail the relationship then .
Most of the stuff in internet for attracting women is just garbage. I have not seen the
material like here.

Reply

Giorgio says:
May 7, 2019 at 2:37 pm

This is very useful information that will definitely come in handy. Especially concerning a
certain girl I have a crush on. Thanks.

Reply

Anikesh Jhadi says:

February 3, 2019 at 5:19 am

Thanks!!

Reply

Darryl says:
January 26, 2019 at 7:21 pm

Excellent advice. I’ve learned a ton reading this column. I’m guilty of about 10 out of 22
with a certain girl. I know the challenge works because as soon as I become more of a
challenge (quit texting, etc) then she shows more interest. Thanks.

Reply

Timothy says:
November 23, 2018 at 12:42 am

Have been suffering from the same mistake over 3years…. Thank you man for helpping
me out

Reply

Cosplay Girls says:

September 24, 2018 at 3:42 pm

I’νe been surfing online mpгe than 2 hours today, yett I never
found any interesting article liқe yours.
It’s prеtty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all website ownerѕ and bloggers made
good content as you did, the internnet will bеe a lot more useful than ever
before.

Reply

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