Should elders be sent to old age homes or taken care by their

family?
In the world we live in today we perceive strangers as a threat, but in
today’s world we have rather seen our own elders as strangers, being
distant from them has become a necessity. Have we forgotten those who
taught us how to pave the path of our lives? Have we forsaken those who
held our hands and saved us from falling?

Allah Ta’ala states in one of the verses in the Quran e Majeed explaining
the manners for parent as they get old:
‫سانًا ِإ َّما يَ ْبلُغ ََّن ِعندَ َك ْال ِكبَ َر‬
َ ‫ضى َرب َُّك أَالَّ تَ ْعبُدُواْ ِإالَّ ِإيَّاهُ َو ِب ْال َوا ِلدَي ِْن ِإ ْح‬
َ َ‫َوق‬
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‫ف َوالَ ت َ ْن َه ْر ُه َما َوقُل لَّ ُه َما قَ ْوالً َك ِري ًما‬ ٍّ ُ ‫ا َحد ُ ُه َما أ َ ْو ِكالَ ُه َما فَالَ تَقُل لَّ ُه َما أ‬
By this verse of Quran e Majeed we get to know that parents are our
gods, we should do good deeds to words them to please them.
Never disrespect our parents. Nobody knows about the future or what it
might hold for them. Just take an example: when you get old and your
children send you to nursing home or old age like you did with your
parents ‘and your children dthe same thing with you, how you would
feel. In today’s modern world, where everyone is busy in their own life.
When nobody has time for other when people are becoming so obsessed
with money and competition in every aspect of their life when people
are forgetting, overlooking their basic needs, like family. Family is an
essential part of a life. Every single member of a family can affect your
positively in numerous ways. For those people who think of shift their
parents to nursing homes or old age home instead of keeping them with
them because they aren’t able to take care of them due to their business
in life. Who think that shifting them to nursing home. Nowadays is okay,

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23:‫سورة االسراء‬
since it is easy to keep in touch with everyone due to advancement in
technology, by the means of social media but those means are not an
alternative to real life interaction. On social media people just show
other what they want to other to know. Nobody can judge the true from
the false. On the other hand, being in touch physically we can evaluate
the real image of a person. This year during the upliftment drive the main
goal was to make our elder or old people happy and sort out their
problems which they are facing. By the help of upliftment drive 1441 H
we get to know about how our elders feel when their children leave them
alone. They are offended by that action, they aren’t able to leave the
house either because of physical reasons or mental, more or less they
feel shame facing the world knowing they weren’t good enough for their
children or that they failed of bringing of their kids. Likewise, sending
them to nursing home rather than keeping at home is like pressing the
backspace button on whatever reputation they have gained, since
sending them to nursing homes diminishes their worth in the eyes of the
society, if their children don’t value then enough to crave their presence
in their life why should others, you see, parents, elderlies are like
diamonds, they have withstand all the pressure their life gave them and
imagine what it would look like if people started giving away diamonds
and jewels to doctors paying them tons to keep them. It is mandatory for
us children to take care and facilitate them with every possible thing
which they need. “Most nursing homes provide specialized care for
elders, monitoring their health, dispensing medication and assisting
them in daily activities, such as bathing, dressing and eating”2. They are
not emotionally linked with them; they are being paid for their service.
If we stop paying them they won’t be treating or serving them. As we

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HealthinAging.org. Nursing Homes. 2019. Nursing%20Homes%20_%20HealthInAging.org.html
encountered that as parents get older they face many problems like
disease; “Hypertension (High Blood Pressure) and Diabetes”3 and
loneliness that causes depression . a research examines the reason
behind that feelings of loneliness “Many people experience loneliness
and depression in old age, either as a result of living alone or due to lack
of close family ties and reduced connections with their culture of origin,
which results in an inability to actively participate in the community
activities.”4

Some people think that having children specially a son is the only form
of retirement plan to which you have full access. If we look deeply into
our lives, we will recognize that how we have reach here where we
standing today. It is our parents who raised their children with so much
socio-economic difficulty and fulfill our wishes but never complaint for
anything. Sometimes they have to face people for our bad deeds, despite
they never stop loving us. They sacrifice everything for us not because
they are obligated to do for that but because of love they have for us. If
we look in the meaning of love which means: “a deep and tender feeling
of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons”.5 Amir
ul Mumeneen Ali ibn Abi Talib AS explains this meaning in one of his
statements he states:
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‫عليك ببر الوالدين كليهما* وبر ذوي القربى بر االقارب‬
“It is upon us to do good deeds towards our parents’ father and mother
both, including our loved ones and other relatives.”

3
Healthy Aging Team. Top 10 Chronic Conditions in Adults 65+. February 2, 2017. 10 Most Common Chronic
Diseases [Infographic] - Healthy Aging Blog _ NCOA.html
4
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3016701/
5
https://www.almaany.com/en/dict/ar-en/%D8%A8%D8%B1/
6
‫ من ديوان امير المؤمنين ص ع‬،‫ الدرجة االولة‬، ‫سلك جوهر المنظوم‬
The word ‫ بر‬which means that:
ْ :) ‫ِبر ( اسم‬
‫إخالص‬
Devotion- great love or loyalty the act of spending a lot of time and
energy on something.7

We should never disrespect anyone, including our elder because they are
the one who spent their whole life for our fruitful future.

Nursing homes or old age homes, nowadays they are well equipped and
more facilitated with advance technology but nevertheless they won’t
be able to serve them like the way their children will treat and serve
them because they don’t have a heart relationship between them. Hence
keeping at home instead of keeping them in old age or nursing homes is
more beneficial for both children and parents by social and physical and
psychological.

In some phases of life, we need someone consultancy to back our

decision. As we know elder people, have more experience and ideas
regarding almost everything because they have seen more time in this
world than us. Having elder people at home is beneficial; they can advise
or guide us towards what we should do in certain situation. For example:
if we need to do some changes in our business or want to expand we can
ask them for advice regarding what to do in that situation but once the
business starts flourishing it is our duty to pay attention to them further
and to accept their advices giving them an equal say and share not
keeping them at home at a certain salary. As Al Dai Ajal Syedna
Mohammed Burhanuddin RA states:

‫ انسس باوا نسس ايك وظيفة‬،‫ثثر بتهاوي دسس‬easy chair ‫كري نسس‬retire ‫كه باوا نسس‬
‫ كه ا سو ؟ تمي باوا نسس وظيفة‬،‫ موالنا طاهر سيف الدين ر ض ككهنا خفا تهيا‬،‫باندهي اثثسس‬
‫ تو يه باوا‬، ‫ ححالؤنار‬، ‫ شروع نا كرنار‬، ‫ اْ تمام كاروبار نسس جمباؤنار‬، ‫ثثككار اثثو ححهو‬
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‫ مان ني قدر كرسس‬،‫ني قدر كرسس‬
Hence, in conclusion we acknowledge that what is virtuous either to
keep parent at home or to shift them at nursing home. The social
support system of elders which include their immediate relatives
and respective communities are better equipped to tend to their
psychological, physical and social needs. On the opposite side the
nursing home are being portrayed in this manners but as it is
mentioned that they are not connected by heart they are providing
their services till when they are paid off.

‫رض‬
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1409 ‫ المجلس الخامس‬، ‫ االقتباسات النورانية‬، ‫الداعي االجل سيدنا محد برهان الدين‬