The Four Agreements

Presented by Julie Wallace

In his best-selling book, The Four Agreements, shamanic teacher and

healer Don Miguel Ruiz presents us with a code of personal conduct
based on the ancient wisdom of his Toltec ancestors. This simple, yet
powerful system is based on four agreements: Be impeccable with
your word; Don’t take anything personally; Don't make assumptions;
and Always do your best.
Agreements:

We store information through agreement. When we believe something is true, it

becomes an agreement between us and the world. As soon as we agree, we
believe it. This cycle leads us to develop rules or “laws” that govern what we see
as true. We come to base our judgments and decisions on these agreements and
laws. When we, ourselves or others, break our “laws” we experience the negative
aspects of conflict or drama.

Question: What “agreements” or beliefs are causing you to experience drama or

suffering?

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Domestication:
The domestication process begins very early in life. We begin to define ourselves
based on how we were rewarded or punished as children. We learn how to
behave according to what we believe to be acceptable within our own family
network, in school, church and from other children and adults. This system of
rewards and punishments lays the groundwork for our first internal agreements.
We begin to create agreements as to who we should be, who we shouldn’t be,
who we are and who we are not. We live our lives according to those agreements.
The Four Agreements outlined in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book teach us to re-write our
learned agreements so that we may live an authentic and fulfilling life.

Question: What are some examples of how you were domesticated in your
childhood? If you are a parent, are you aware of the ways in which you are
domesticating your children?
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The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak
against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the
direction of truth and love.

Question: The First Agreement is “Be Impeccable with Your Word.” Can you explain
why this agreement is so powerful? Are you aware of the power of your word? What
are some of the ways you’ve experienced the power of the word in your life?

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The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of

their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and
actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Question: The Second Agreement is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” What are
some of the ways you have taken things personally? Do you believe the opinions of
others are more important than your own? Do you take it personally if someone
disagrees with you?

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The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings,
sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform
your life.

Question: The Third Agreement is “Don’t Make Assumptions.” Provide some

examples of why making assumptions can cause so much suffering. Do you
assume worst-case scenarios?

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The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
Your “best” is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when
you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best,
and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Question: The Fourth Agreement is “Always Do Your Best.” What are some
examples of how practicing this agreement would transform your life? Do you
tend to push yourself too hard? Do you know when you’ve done your best?

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