Orgasmic Meditation THE OFFICIAL GUIDE

Contents
Welcome to OM 3
How to Use This Guide 4
Michelle’s Story Testimonial 5

Course 1 Principles & Philosophy 11

#1 Tumescence 12
#2 What Is OM? 14
#3 OM Scientifically Supported 15
#4 Orgasm Redefined 16
#5 The Container 19
#6 There Is a Spot 21
#7 Understanding OM 24

Course 2 The Technique 28

#1 Partnered Practice 29
#2 Finding a Partner 31
#3 Steps of OM 34
#4 You’re Ready to OM! 39

Supplementary Information 40
#1 Asking for An OM 41
#2 Supplies & the Nest 44
#3 Getting into Position 47
#4 Safeport 50
#5 Grounding 52
#6 Noticing 54
#7 Lube Stroke 56
#8 Stroking 58
#9 Offers and Requests 60
#10 Peaking 63
#11 Towel Stroke 65
#12 Frames 67
WELCOME TO OM INTRODUCTION

Welcome to OM
Welcome to Orgasmic Meditation training! This document is intended to
provide you with an introduction to the foundational principles and technique
of Orgasmic Meditation. Orgasmic Meditation and the journey of exploration
that accompanies it is often vulnerable and intimate, so we encourage you to
give yourself the time and space that feels right to you as you go.

Am I in the right place?

This training and Orgasmic Meditation is for anybody (singles, couples, etc)
who wants the benefits of or is just curious about the practice.
HOW TO USE THIS GUIDE INTRODUCTION

How to Use This Guide

1. Philosophy & Principles
For as long as we’ve been teaching Orgasmic Meditation students often
want to skip the philosophy and go right to the technique. Put simply - the
philosophy will make or break your experience of the practice. People tend
to color new experiences with what they’re already familiar with. Because
what you are about to learn about OM is anything but familiar, context is
everything. You’ll need to understand the philosophy of OM and ideas behind
it in order to reap the benefits.

2. Technique
Once you’ve completed the Philosophy section you’ll move on to the technique.
In this section you’ll learn about finding a partner, how to ask for an OM, what
supplies you’ll need and the steps of the practice.

3. Practice
After completing the technique section, you are ready to try the practice!
Download the auditory guide (on page 39) and follow the prompts! We take
you step by step through the whole experience, from timing to instructions.
All you have to do is listen and follow along.

4. Resources
For more detail on many of the steps and concepts found in this document, refer
to The Container and Form of Orgasmic Meditation located at instituteofom.
com/container.

Here we go!
Michelle’s Story TESTIMONIAL
MICHELLE’S STORY INTRODUCTION

Michelle is a doctor, health coach and single mom who lives in the
Bay Area.
Before Orgasmic Meditation, I had a really wonderful life on paper—an
amazing career, loving family, all the comforts of life. It was so good. Yet
something was missing. I felt guilty, because I had everything. Who am I to
not be fulfilled with all that I have? I felt like something was wrong with me. I
had no reason not to be happy, and no idea what would make me happy.

I was in limbo and couldn’t explain it. Why was I so tired? Feeling unwell?
Unable to participate in social activities or to simply enjoy life? I was in a fog
and couldn’t act on any ideas. I had few ideas. I was exhausted all the time. I’d
come home from work and pass out, unable to do anything with my daughter.
I had a hard time connecting. Mostly, I wanted to be alone.

I was amazingly good at offering someone else ways to get out of stuck
places that were similar to mine. But I felt like a fraud and had a lot of shame
because I would tell others what they needed to do. Yet I couldn’t do any of it
myself.

I spent a year trying to solve this puzzle—going to healers, trying different

things. Eventually, I sensed there was a piece only I could do. I did my best,
but found it tricky and painful to be with myself.

At some point, I came upon a deep old trauma and sought a hypnotist’s help.
Even though the session was dumb, he told me afterward to get back into my
heart and said, “I think Orgasmic Meditation would be really good for you.”

Right away, I said, “That sounds amazing! Sign me up.” After looking it up, I was
a complete no. Dumb idea. I went back to circling the drain for three more
years.
MICHELLE’S STORY INTRODUCTION

I was still exhausted, barely keeping my head above water. I went back to
being full of solutions for other people, like a guy I was dating to whom
I would send meditation notices and other invitations. At some point, he
started doing all of them, including an OM event. His invitation to a day-long
event sounded exciting, until I realized OM was the thing from three years
earlier.

I had lots of doubts. But simply walking in the room, the attention of the
people seemed uncommonly focused, present, and warm. I felt so special.
I had felt nothing for such a long time that just being in the room stirred me
up.

A flyer I read on personal power made me cry. I told someone who tried
to support me, “You don’t understand. Once the tears start, they won’t
stop. If you want to stand there for two weeks with that tissue, keep asking
questions.” That was the clincher.

During my first OM, I went into a transportive state, feeling free and like
something magical was happening.

Orgasm lit up in my body like wildfire, synchronicities showed up

everywhere, and people around me were suddenly really positive. Then
my ego got on top of it and I shut it down. I stretched way out with feeling
my feelings, feeling my body, and then I retracted. I had felt into what was
possible in my life, got scared, and pulled back.

Still, I continued to OM once or twice a week. Once I gained courage to have

that much and got comfortable with feeling more, I increased my OMs. I
noticed I was gradually feeling more and acclimating to the idea of that
being a good thing and not dangerous. It was okay to tap into emotions and
not always be in control. I continued my OM practice and about six months
ago I finally got in touch with my ability to receive.
MICHELLE’S STORY INTRODUCTION

I had this idea that my orgasm was going out into the room. I was in my head,
trying to be orgasmic for my strokers. Then, during an intense weekend of
OMing, I felt a lot of sadness and realized I needed to take in the nourishment
of the orgasmic energy for myself. In that moment, I felt the energy move
through my body, watch it go out, turn, and come back in. It was like my body
said, ‘I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m doing THIS.’ It was as if, in spite
of myself, my body started to thaw from a deep freeze.

As the energy rushed through me, a flood of feelings released. It’s like I had
thawed a certain amount, reached a plateau, then suddenly, I was a beginner
again. It was like I’d hit a whole new level of dense emotional stickiness that
wanted to open, but I felt very confronted by it. I tried to avoid feelings of
overwhelm, shock, or out of control that were coming up. I knew I needed to
simply experience those feelings and not judge them.

That was a really big turning point for me. I made my way through it by
staying present during the OMs and feeling into whatever came up. Then
the magic really started. Not only was I able to hold exquisite attention on
another person, but I started loving it.

I had always told my patients, “I don’t need to hear a bunch of explanation. I’ll
figure out what’s going on with you.” I’d go into my own head about it. Now, I
began to feel into people, savoring the experience as their words came out,
seeing their eyes and skin, and being able to hold the emotions of what they
were saying. It was exciting, even nourishing. I started looking for people to
connect with so I could feel their particular flavor of energy. I’d been missing
the opportunity to connect with others and not have it feel like work. Instead,
I’d walk away feeling healed and related.

I feel like my own body is in flow a lot more of the time. Not only is it heating
MICHELLE’S STORY INTRODUCTION

up and no longer cold, but I feel the energy in the room—whether people are
stressed or grounded, when people are in flow or not.

People in my life—my daughter and mother—were suddenly so much more

playful and enjoyable, even with mundane things. Suddenly, just being with
someone close to me and seeing a glow in their eyes turned into an amazing
adventure. With everyone I meet, I feel increasing depth, enjoyment, and
love.

I definitely feel more love. I have felt in meditative experiences like my

heart opened so much that it would hit the wall and I shut it down. Now, I
feel like I’m growing into a person who can hold that much love and feel

“Not only was I able to hold exquisite

attention on another person,
but I started loving it.”

wonderful about it. I can have that much energy in my body and not have it
be disruptive to other people or my life. I know where I am headed and OM is
taking me there.
 “I OM” Stories
More than 300,000 people practice OM worldwide.
Read their stories of healing and transformation.

READ THE STORIES

 COURSE 1

Principles & Philosophy

of Orgasmic Meditation
LESSON # 1 | TUMESCENCE PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

Tumescence LESSON #1
There’s likely a problem in your life that you unknowingly face every day. It’s as
pervasive as stress and as invisible as carbon monoxide. It’s a leading cause
of agitation, procrastination, “sexual dysfunction,” feelings of reactivity, and
compulsive behavior - just to name a few. Maybe you recognize some of these
common experiences from your own daily life experience or history.

These experiences are a sign of tumescence, a state of accumulated blockage

from moments when, for one reason or another, the desire to connect or express
went unfulfilled. For most of us, walking around with some low-key level of
tumescence is the norm. Maybe we live in a pattern of avoidance or denial
in some area of our life, feel emotionally shut down or numb, or maybe our
emotions and reactivity are on a hair-trigger and we have periodic explosions.
Maybe we know somebody else like this. These symptoms can lead to serious
health consequences such as chronic depression, anxiety, and a host of other
unpleasant symptoms.
LESSON # 1 | TUMESCENCE PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

Nowhere is this seen more clearly than in our sex lives where, sadly, living
under the weight of the blockage of our sexual vitality has us experience
anxiety around sex and even an inability to access that type of connection at
all. Most people can relate to feeling tumescence, but what can we do about
it? There have been few genuinely appealing solutions... until now.

Orgasmic Meditation addresses the core issues of tumescence. It provides a

safe and repeatable way for us to learn to work with our natural sexual impulse.
The result? When we’re not tumesced, connection happens effortlessly.
Through a regular practice of OM, we develop a new relationship with ourselves
and discover that joy and happiness naturally occur as a result.

Graham | Practitioner Story #1

“Before all I had was pain.
I can handle what MS feels like now.”

Because you’re supposed to

share your frames using value-
neutral terms, I had to drop
words like ‘bad’ and ‘hurts’
from my descriptions... I slowly
learned that it makes all the
difference in the world.

READ HIS STORY

LESSON #2 | WHAT IS OM PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

What Is OM? LESSON #2

Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a unique wellness practice that combines
mindfulness with the power of the deeply human, deeply felt experience of
Orgasm. During the practice, one person strokes another person’s clitoris
for 15 minutes with no goal other than to feel the sensation. It may appear
to borrow elements from familiar experiences you’ve had but it isn’t sex
or foreplay, nor is it a clinical exam. Orgasmic Meditation is a whole new
approach to wellness.

The same cultural currents that have moved us away from processed foods
and towards whole foods, and that have brought consciousness to the fitness
industry through the introduction of yoga,
are seeking to redefine our relationship
“We take the most
with the sexual impulse through OM. Using
an entirely new set of principles we can powerful human
take the most powerful human impulse, impulse and approach
the orgasm impulse, and approach it in an
entirely new way. Through OM, we have a it in an entirely new
safe, deliberate, standardized, repeatable way.”
method for harnessing our most powerful
drives to access more health, happiness,
and connection in our lives.
LESSON #3 | OM SCIENTIFICALLY SUPPORTED PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

OM Scientifically Supported LESSON #3

In late 2016 Dr. Nicole Prause and Dr. Greg Siegle started work on the OM
Study, measuring 250 people practicing OM:

• The OM Study will be the 1st partnered stimulation study in the US since
Masters and Johnson’s, and the third worldwide.

• It’s the first partnered stimulation study in the US to ever be approved by

the scientific ethics board (IRB).

• It’s the 1st partnered stimulation study ever to measure the stroker. Not
only will she capture both individuals’ experiences, but they will be able to
capture what connection in the brain looks like.

• This is the 1st study of its kind to use EEG.

LESSON #4 | ORGASM REDEFINED PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

Orgasm Redefined LESSON #4

Orgasmic Meditation offers a fundamental shift in our view of Orgasm to an
experience that may include climax but is not limited to it. For many of us,
Orgasm and climax have been synonymous - we may have asked a partner
or been asked “did you or didn’t you?” For men, it’s typically quite obvious
and many people cannot comprehend a partnered experience involving
genitals that wouldn’t result in a climax or wouldn’t at least be aiming for one.
But what about those of us whose genitals don’t consistently work that way?
This is where we begin to make the distinction between Orgasm and climax.

Understanding Orgasm
In introducing you to OM, we must necessarily expand your view of Orgasm.
Traditionally, Orgasm is defined as the point when the body reaches peak
arousal and then releases, resulting in rapid muscle contractions and the
release of fluids. In this traditional sense, Orgasm has been described as the
same thing as climax.
ORGASM REDEFINED LESSON #4 PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

A New Definition
Orgasm is not climax. Defining them synonymously and confining them to
the realm of sexual experience is limiting for several reasons.

First, it can make a sexual experience feel goal-oriented and highly

pressured. It tends to dismiss the entire experience leading up to climax,
seeing it as just the work required to get to the destination. It’s like going to
the symphony and dismissing everything but the final cymbal crash.

Second, it tends to discredit any sexual experience that doesn’t end in climax
as having gone wrong. Or worse, there’s something wrong with you or your
partner if one or both of you didn’t “have an orgasm” aka climax.

We’re also seeking to extend the range

within which these concepts can be
“We discredit any
understood and observed in our lives.
Living life from the philosophy that you sexual experience that
were or were not “successful” in work,
doesn’t end in climax as
relationships, etc has lined the pockets
of many in the helping professions having gone wrong.”
and sent many a person on the quest
to discover what truly fulfills them.
Learning to savor and appreciate each
unexpected twist and turn is what makes
life dear.

The Orgasm State

Orgasm, as we’re defining it in the context of Orgasmic Meditation, is a state.
As we discussed, scientific research is being conducted which we believe
will corroborate what countless OM practitioners have already found for
LESSON #4 | ORGASM REDEFINED PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

themselves: that Orgasm is a state encompassing mental, physical, and even

spiritual aspects of a person. Orgasm shifts our experience, even just for a
little while, from being solely mind-based to union of mind and body. Orgasm
is the ignition of the involuntary aspects of our physiology — or more simply
put, when your body does something without checking with your mind first.

For example,
• When you’ve just been pleasantly surprised and you can feel a sudden
rush of energy
• When you’re sexually aroused
• When somebody you love tells you “Orgasm is the
something from their heart and you
can feel how much they mean it ignition of...when
• The tightening of your muscles when your body does
you’re out late at night and hear a
noise behind you
something without
checking with your
Orgasm includes them all. Expand your
definition of Orgasm and suddenly it’s as mind first.”
big as you can imagine.

Through the practice of OM, we’re

tuning our attention into the nuanced
sensations of our body, and learning
how to be present with whatever is happening. As we practice this skill
consistently we increase our awareness of the Orgasm State.
 LESSON #5 | THE CONTAINER PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

The Container LESSON #5

The practice of OM is safe, reliable and repeatable because it takes place within
an established container. In this lesson, we’ll describe what a container is and why
it’s important.

Many things in life have containers. Think of a school year at college, a yoga
class, watching a movie, or going to a meditation retreat. All of these things are
consistent and predictable in that they have a set of pre-negotiated rules and a set
duration. The container of the experience helps you understand what will happen
and what won’t happen. The container defines and holds the experience from start
to finish.

The container provides a sense of safety which helps both partners relax into the
experience more and more each time they OM. It’s not flexible or negotiable and
both parties consent to following its definition one-hundred percent. The container
of OM is strictly based on established protocols such as:
LESSON #5 | THE CONTAINER PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

• OM is always 15 minutes
• OM always occurs with the same sequence of steps
• OM is entirely non-reciprocal - both roles in OM are done solely for
their own enjoyment not for any additional benefit or expectation of
compensation
• The stroker remains fully clothed and the strokee only undresses from the
waist down
• “Nothing extra” in the nest i.e. no romantic gestures, added or subtracted
steps, changes to the time limit, etc.

Why is this consistency important? Imagine being in a difficult exercise class

without knowing how long it’s going to run. Would you be able to give that
class everything you’ve got, or do you think you’d be holding back for fear of
running out of energy, or feeling like a lot of your attention is on wondering
how long it will go, when is it right to end etc. The container lets you relax
and immerse into the experience fully.

“OM wakes up your ability to naturally

feel what’s right.”
LESSON #6 | THERE IS A SPOT PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

There Is a Spot LESSON #6

In this lesson we’ll tell you what it means to be “on the spot,” how to find “the
spot”, and how knowing about “the spot” benefits your life.

Think for a moment about your favorite food. Maybe you even know a place
that makes the best version of this dish. There is both a reason that food is
your favorite and a reason you like that particular one from that particular
place. If you wake up one morning with the desire for that exact food and
you can’t have it, and you decide you’ll settle for something else you like, that
initial desire doesn’t actually disappear. You ate something, but it wasn’t quite
“on the spot”. Part of you may still be thinking about the other dish at the
other place and you might even make a point to get it later that week.

Or let’s say you’re talking with a friend and they’re going through a tough
emotional time. You care about them but in your conversation you misread
how comfortable they were and made a joke about their situation to try and
LESSON #6 | THERE IS A SPOT PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

lighten things, and the joke fell flat. You (and that joke) were “off the spot”.

Or perhaps you’re cooking your dinner and you find “the spot” by adding
just the right amount of salt. It’s the perfect level of seasoning. Then the salt
shaker top falls off and five times as much salt pours into the dish. Now we’re
probably way off the spot!

When playing any musical instrument, only the right balance of pressure,
positioning, strumming, etc, will make the
right tones come out. When clear notes are
produced, that is the spot. This example is
“When clear
an important bridge to Orgasmic Meditation notes are
because strokers will use different
combinations of speed, pressure, and length
produced, that is
to find the spot. the spot.”
The last main thing to understand about the
spot is that it moves. That’s part of why OM
is a meditation - because it requires that you
maintain your attention on it in order to track
and change your stroke along with how the spot changes. The same way a
connected conversation with someone moves from place to place, so does
the spot move in an OM.

In OM, “the spot” is a location on the clitoris that you can feel. For a stroker,
it feels like a light “zing” at the tip of the stroking finger. For a strokee, it’s a
similarly unmistakable feeling.

As a new OM practitioner, let’s give you some tips on finding the spot.
Imagine the clitoris as a clock, with 1 o’clock being one click to the strokee’s
left. When first starting an OM practice, use “1 o’clock” as a reference point
LESSON #6 | THERE IS A SPOT PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

for the spot because it has a high concentration of nerve endings, and is
often where the spot is located at any given time.

Finding the spot is a felt experience. Through allowing yourself to go on feel

and not a formula, you and your partner will discover the spot. And lose it.
And discover it again...and again. That’s life, and that’s the practice of OM.

Amelia | Practitioner Story #2

“I learned that life is meant to be pleasurable.”

At the beginning, my requests

came out sounding like a
pipsqueak. A lot of times I
would tolerate unpleasurable
sensations just to avoid having
to give an adjustment. It was
very much part of my fabric: I
believed I was not allowed to
ask for what I wanted, that I just had to bear it. As I continued to OM, I was
encouraged to sometimes make ten adjustments in a row just to practice
doing it. Just having permission to play in that way made it a lot easier to ask.

READ HER STORY

LESSON #7 | UNDERSTANDING OM PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

Understanding OM LESSON #7
The Difference Between OM and Sex
In OM, you’re introducing something entirely new to your life that, because
it involves genitals, is in the realm of sexuality. However, the intention is
not sexual gratification, even though the practice will likely feel sexually
gratifying at times. As you’re embarking on your new journey with OM, it’s
important to understand that OM is not sex.

OM is a very specific protocoled practice for a reason. If you try to use OM

as a part of your sex life, it might at first seem quite helpful. However, this
approach ultimately has diminishing returns. When the assumption becomes
that OM will include sex, you may find that one partner no longer wants
to practice OM if they don’t want to have sex as well. The container of OM
allows both people to trust the practice and increasingly relax as time goes
on. This is where we start to gain the benefits of the practice!
LESSON #7 | UNDERSTANDING OM PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

Feel vs. Formula

In OM we feel our way through instead of thinking our way through. When
there are no established ideas or formulas to tell your mind what to do, your
body can actually take over. Your senses wake up and you’re able to feel and
connect with what’s around you.

The practice of Orgasmic Meditation helps us to restore our ability to feel our
own internal state and the internal state of others. How? By connecting us
to our bodies without a formula. During the 15 minute practice of OM, while
there is technique and there is a container, there is no one right way to feel
or experience. Waking up our bodies’ ability to feel creates more spontaneity
and flexibility. Feel over formula makes life fluid and dynamic.

Mind Training
Orgasmic Meditation is a mind-training practice, similar in many ways to
practices such as Transcendental Meditation or Zen meditation. Mind training
is the “simple but not easy” act of guiding where your attention goes. For
example, in sitting meditation you focus on the breath or a mantra. Maybe
you place your attention on your breath, noticing each inhale and each
exhale. Every time your attention drifts from that point of focus like when you
start thinking about your grocery store list, you gently bring your attention
back to noticing the breath.

In Orgasmic Meditation, we do the very same thing that we do in sitting

meditation except both partners bring their attention back to the point of
contact where finger meets clitoris, rather than the breath. Every time the
mind drifts away to thoughts like “Am I doing it right?” or “Do I look good?”
or “Do they like it?” we deliberately bring our attention back to the point of
LESSON #7 | UNDERSTANDING OM PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

contact once we realize we drifted. The important thing to understand about

Orgasmic Meditation is that at the most basic level, it trains our minds to stay
in the present moment.

Goallessness
Goallessness means there’s no outcome that you’re aiming for. There is
no “success” or “failure”. There is nowhere to get to, nothing to prove. This
is a new concept for most of us! As you begin this practice, we invite you
to remember that the more you’re able to focus on keeping your practice
goalless the more benefits you stand to gain. If we’re only looking for climax
or to feel a certain kind of feeling, we miss what is happening right before
our eyes. In the practice of OM, the main focus is simply to stay present and
connected. You might not feel as much as you think you ‘should’ in your
first OM, or your 10th, or even your 100th. The intention is simply to be with
whatever arises during your practice.

In an afternoon walk, you have already succeeded by putting on your shoes,

getting out the door, and walking. There is nothing else required. Similarly,
you have already succeeded in OM by asking or saying yes to an OM, setting
up the nest and starting the practice. Everything that happens inside the OM
is bonus.

OM as a Practice
OM is a practice – something you do on a consistent basis over time, just
like meditation, yoga, or playing an instrument. We have found it’s best to
approach OM with a beginner’s mindset - being willing to learn something
new and put aside ideas of what we think should happen. Take it seriously
and be kind to yourself at the same time. The results in OM are cumulative,
built on one OM after the next. Just like the benefits of a regular yoga
practice where you might get more and more flexible over time by letting
LESSON #7 | UNDERSTANDING OM PRINCIPLES & PHILOSOPHY

go of what you believe your limitations are, we aim to come to each OM free
from expectations.

When creating a practice of OM, decide to practice regularly, whether that

means once a week, a few times a week, or every day. Whatever you have
decided, try to create a schedule and stick to it. If your desire changes later,
you can change your schedule to include more or less OM.

Peaking
Peaking is changing your action, or stopping and shifting into something else,
right before the activity becomes less sensational. Imagine you’re eating a
piece of chocolate cake. Peaking is when you’re enjoying it so much, but you
know that if you take one more bite, it’s not going to be as good as the last
one, so you stop.

In OM, peaking is changing the direction of the stroke, either up or down,

right before the sensation changes.This means that right before the
sensation starts to fade, it’s time to change the stroke - lighter or heavier,
faster or slower, up to down, or down to up. The purpose of peaking is to
keep the sensation in the OM alive and dynamic over the entire 15 minutes. If
you only stroke in one direction, or only at one speed, pretty soon that stroke
becomes dull, loses its sensation, or even gets mildly irritating.

Peaking is a skill that takes practice! Over time, you’ll learn to anticipate the
moment before the sensation is about to drop off and change the stroke
accordingly. You can’t do it wrong - everything you try in OM is learning and
growth for you.
 COURSE 2

The Technique
LESSON # 1 | PARTNERED PRACTICE THE TECHNIQUE

Partnered Practice LESSON #1

In this lesson, we are going to speak briefly on why this practice is done with a
partner.

The main reason is connection. Everything about OM relates back to

connection. Even the act of asking for an OM brings you out of your own world
into connection with someone else’s.

In the same way that you can’t tickle yourself, you can’t take yourself out of
control. Because OM is an experience that is organically co-created between
the two partners, there is no way for one person to control the experience and
for it to remain “an OM”. Therefore, both people are letting go and opening up
to the connection created between them the way two dancers or improvisors
would.
LESSON # 1 | PARTNERED PRACTICE THE TECHNIQUE

Sitting meditation has tons of benefits, but it’s done alone. It may be in a
room of people but the human to human connection in that experience is
still indirect.

With Orgasmic Meditation, the connection is direct. Finger to the clitoris,

literally. There is a subtle yet undeniable electrical current that is formed
between the two people.

Brenda | Practitioner Story #3

“I learned to ask for what I want.”

As I started asking for what I

wanted through OM, I brought
that language into my home. My
communication style started
changing. I took off all the
layers I previously used to try
to manipulate and control my
kids. I started being honest and
would make requests of my kids directly so they could start saying yes or no.
Our time together started being more authentic.

READ HER STORY

LESSON #2 | FINDING A PARTNER THE TECHNIQUE

Finding a Partner LESSON #2

In this lesson, we’ll talk about how to find a partner to OM with! Many people
discover OM and don’t necessarily have a partner to practice with right away.
It’s not as hard as you might think to find a partner. We’re here to lay it out for
you so you can confidently take this next step in starting your OM practice on
your own time.

This might sound hard to believe, but introducing somebody in your life to OM
can actually occur to them as a compliment and an invitation. It means you
trust them enough to try something vulnerable and new with you. So even
if you don’t have a partner, there are plenty of OMers who started practicing
while single. That’s a big deal. So if you’re thinking in the back of your mind
that asking someone is somehow burdensome to them, we invite you to open
to some other possible interpretations. Your intention matters a great deal as
LESSON #2 | FINDING A PARTNER THE TECHNIQUE

well.

Let’s look at where you might be in your journey to have an OM. Maybe you
just discovered this amazing practice. You read about it, watched videos,
and are thinking about trying it. But you don’t have a partner to try it with.
Thousands of now-active OMers have found themselves in a similar spot and
all of them successfully found partners to practice with. People practice OM
with significant others, lovers, and friends!

Think about who you might like to OM with - a partner, an interest, a friend.
The only requirement is that it’s someone you know, like, and trust!
If you’d like to ask someone to OM who you haven’t spoken to about it before,
you could say something like, “I found out about a practice called Orgasmic
Meditation and I want to try it. I’m looking
for a partner to try it with, and was curious
if you would like to know more about the “The only
practice and consider trying it with me.”
This lets the person have the space to
requirement is it’s
consider it for themselves; to say yes to someone you know,
knowing more, or no thank you. If they
like and trust!”
would like to know more, our suggestion
is that you have a few resources from the
website ready for them. You can send
them some links and they can explore in
their own time and let you know what they
think.
Remember, other people are deeply desiring more connection in their lives,
too! You’re not the only one who is exploring outside the box so if you decide
to ask somebody to OM, stay open to receiving anything, including a big YES
where you might not have expected it! And if you do get a no, remember that
LESSON #2 | FINDING A PARTNER THE TECHNIQUE

it probably isn’t about YOU. It’s a rejection of the offer to OM, not a rejection
of you personally. This is one of those spots to be extra kind and gentle with
yourself.

Martin | Practitioner Story #4

“I learned how to trust my body.”

OM really put the spotlight on

my patterns, and showed me
that they had their basis in fear.
Part of the practice includes
making offers and responding
to requests. I realized how big
of a deal it was for me to ask for
anything at all, and that I was as
afraid of receiving a yes as I was a no. I discovered that I carried an irrational
fear of rejection and of being judged. The practice of asking for OMs and the
possibility of making offers has really altered my relationship to the word no.
When someone says no to a specific request, I often find that I don’t take it as
personally anymore and am able to persist and ask again at another time.

READ HIS STORY

LESSON #3 | STEPS OF OM THE TECHNIQUE

Steps of OM LESSON #3
In this lesson we will explain the sequence of the steps of OM from start to
finish. Some of the steps will be covered in detail in other lessons so you don’t
need to remember everything. We just want to show you the sequence of the
OM. The steps are ALWAYS done in this order.

Note: Each step is fully explained in the Appendix for you to reference as
needed.

Step 1. “Ask for an OM” (See Appendix 1)

• The OM starts with either partner asking for an OM.
• Simply ask your partner: “Would you like to OM?”
• Yes or No are both always acceptable answers.
• If you are OMing right away, you proceed to set up the nest. If you are OM-
ing at a later time, make sure to schedule it so both of you are clear when
and where it will be.
LESSON #3 | STEPS OF OM THE TECHNIQUE

Step 2. “Set up the nest” (See Appendix 2)

Once you’re ready to OM, you set up the nest. Make sure you have a blanket
and yoga mat, at least 3 pillows, a firm cushion, lubricant, a hand towel, a pair
of thin vinyl/latex/nitrile gloves and a timer.

Step 3. “Get into Position” (See Appendix 3)

Once the nest is set up, the strokee removes their clothes from the waist
down, lies down in the nest and butterflies their legs open. The stroker
remains fully clothed and gets in position sitting to the strokee’s right. The
stroker has their left leg over the strokee’s body, and the strokee brings their
right leg to rest over the stroker’s right thigh.

Step 4. The First “Safeport” of the OM (See Appendix 4)

Once both partners are comfortably in position, the stroker safeports the
strokee that they are about to apply grounding pressure by saying, “I’m going
to touch your thighs now”. They then put their hands on the middle of the
strokee’s thighs, applying medium pressure.

Step 5. The “Noticing Step” (See Appendix 6)

While keeping their hands still on their partner’s thighs, the stroker places
their attention on their partner’s genitals and describes 1-3 things they see
in terms of shape, color, location, and texture, using simple, value-neutral
language.

Step 6. “Prepare to Stroke”

The stroker puts on their gloves. They apply lube to their left index finger and
right thumb.
LESSON #3 | STEPS OF OM THE TECHNIQUE

Step 7. The “Second Safeport” (See Appendix 4)

The stroker safeports their partner before touching them by saying “I’m going
to touch your genitals now.” The stroker starts the 15 minute timer, with an
interval bell at 13 minutes.

Step 8. The “Lube Stroke” (See Appendix 7)

Using the middle and ring fingers of each hand, gently part the outer labia
and slowly glide the left index finger from the base of the introitus between
the parted labia to the clitoris.

Bring the left thumb to rest just above the hood, pulling it back to expose the
clitoris.

The right thumb is placed at the base of the introitus, resting without
applying pressure or penetrating beyond the right thumbnail.

Step 9. “Stroking” (See Appendix 8)

Now you will be begin stroking. Begin with a simple light pressure, slow
stroke. Up down, up down. Remember to brush, not rub.

Step 10. “Offers and Requests” (See Appendix 9)

Offers and requests refer to the communication used by either partner
during an OM in order to help adjust the stroke to be more sensational. Offers
and requests are specific and actionable related to the speed, pressure,
length, and location of the stroke. For example, if the strokee would like less
pressure in the stroke, they would ask “Can I have a lighter stroke?” Then the
stroker would simply adjust the stroke accordingly.

Similarly, if the stroker intuitively sensed that a faster stroke might be more
“on the spot,” they might ask “Would you like a faster stroke?” Language that
LESSON #3 | STEPS OF OM THE TECHNIQUE

doesn’t provide specific feedback such as “Does that feel good” or “Can I
have a different stroke” should be omitted.

Step 11. The “Two-Minute Mark”

After 13 minutes, the stroker says “two minutes” out loud at a volume level
the strokee can hear. The stroker then shifts to mainly downstrokes for the
duration of the OM.

Step 12. The “Second Grounding” (See Appendix 5)

After 15 minutes, the stroker says, “TIME,” and stops stroking. Then the stroker
places their hands flat against the strokee’s genitals (left hand first with
fingers pointed downward, then right hand on top of the left with fingers
pointed upwards) and applies heavy, sustained pressure for 10-15 seconds
up towards the strokee’s head and/or down on their pubic bone.

Step 13. The “Towel Stroke” (See Appendix 11)

After the grounding pressure, the stroker does the towel stroke. They remove
the towel from under the strokee, fold it in half and with medium pressure,
gently wipe lube from the strokee’s genitals using just one, smooth motion,
while avoiding the anus and the clitortis. They fold the towel so the lube is on
the inside and place it gently over the strokee’s genitals. Then they remove
their gloves and help the strokee sit up.

Step 14. “Share Frames” (See Appendix 12)

Once the strokee sits up, each partner shares a frame - this is ONE moment
from the OM when they felt a sensation in their bodies. They describe it
in simple, value-neutral language and after each frame, the other person
simply responds with “Thank you.”

Step 15. “Put away the Nest”

LESSON #3 | STEPS OF OM THE TECHNIQUE

After the frames are complete, they stand up and move out of the nest. The
strokee gets fully dressed and both people put the nest supplies away. Once
the space is clean the OM is now complete!

And that is an OM!

Noah | Practitioner Story #5

“I’ve learned to be curious again.”

The noticing step is the part of

OM where you take a moment to
notice something value-neutral
about the strokee’s genitals. It
translates into noticing more
nuance in all the various shades
of life…That, if I had to pick one,
is the greatest gift I’ve received
from my practice. I’ve learned to be curious again. Before OM, when it was
my turn to put the kids to bed, I used to do it as quickly as possible. Then
I’d dive back into whatever process addiction I was hiding in that day. I love
being with my kids now. I’m so curious about everything they are. I slow
down with them. I feel each piece and each moment of that beauty.

READ HIS STORY

LESSON #4 | READY TO OM? THE TECHNIQUE

You’re Ready to OM!

Don’t worry! We’ve made it easy. Download our audio guided OM below. We’ll
walk you through the whole experience from timing to instructions. Easy!

Checklist
GLOVES: Latex, vinyl, or nitrile will do.

LUBE: While coconut oil will work in a pinch, we highly recommend

purchasing your jar of OneStroke.

NEST: 3 pillows, zafu, and blanket. Optional yoga mat.

D OW N LOA D T H E G U I D E D O M
The Appendix
APPENDIX #1 | ASKING FOR AN OM THE APPENDIX

Asking for An OM APPENDIX #1

Step 1. Asking for an OM
In this lesson, we will teach you how to ask for an OM, and why the etiquette
of asking is intentional and important.

Asking for an OM is the first step for having an OM.

Either partner can ask for the OM. It’s a shared experience, after all. OM is not
something that one partner does “to” the other. Both partners benefit, and you
can’t do this practice alone. Knowing that either partner could ask for the OM
helped many practitioners feel more confident in expressing their desire for
what they wanted everywhere in life, instead of relying on someone else to
ask them.

Let’s talk about proper etiquette and form for asking for an OM. We invite you
to practice with a partner, trying both the correct and incorrect ways to get a
APPENDIX #1 | ASKING FOR AN OM THE APPENDIX

sense of how they feel.

Keep It Simple
Imagine you are asking someone if they want a cup of tea. You might simply
ask, “Would you like to have a cup of tea?”

You ask for an OM using the same approach. Simple, nothing extra, and in
such a way that your partner can respond with ONLY a yes or a no.

“Would you like to OM?” See how simple that is?

Ask for An OM Each Time

Consent is such a huge part of OM. It’s important that even if you OM with
someone frequently, including your intimate partner, you don’t assume they
will always say yes. Also, if somebody doesn’t OM and doesn’t know that you
OM and you try to do the practice with them without their knowledge that’s
also lack of consent.

Do’s and Don’ts

Here are the correct ways to ask for an OM.
• Would you like to OM?
• Would you like to have an OM?

These are improper ways to ask for an OM as a Strokee:

• Would you like to OM me?
• Would you like to give me an OM?
• Would you like to stroke me?
APPENDIX #1 | ASKING FOR AN OM THE APPENDIX

These are improper ways to ask for an OM as a Stroker:

• Can I OM you?
• Would you like me to stroke you?
• Want me to give you an OM?

Because they make an assumption, these are also incorrect ways to

ask for an OM to watch out for:
• I want to OM with you.
• When are we OMing?
• When should we OM?
• Let’s OM sometime.

It’s best not to mix asking for an OM with other invitations like
hanging out, or a date.
Adding other activities in asking for an OM takes away from the simplicity
and makes it more complicated to answer. Imagine you want to spend time
with your friend and you say to them: “Let’s hang out tomorrow. We could go
shopping, see a movie, have an OM and get dinner.”

If they say yes, you’re not certain about what they are saying yes to. Do they
want to go shopping, or JUST see a movie? What if they only want to have
the OM? You want to ask in a way that your partner can give a clear yes or
no to JUST the OM. OM is also difficult enough as it is to say yes to without a
bunch of other obstacles. Keeping it simple benefits everybody involved.

Saying no to an OM is always a perfectly acceptable answer. You don’t need

to apologize or explain. It’s a “no” to this request at this time. They are not
rejecting you, only saying no to the offer in that moment. Ask each time like
it’s the first time! Once you get a yes, set up a time and place for your OM.
APPENDIX #2 | SUPPLIES & THE NEST THE APPENDIX

Supplies & the Nest APPENDIX #2

In this lesson we will teach you what supplies are needed to have an OM
and how to properly set them up. When arranged for OM, these supplies are
called the nest. The nest is important because it’s a set of items that help
create the OM experience itself. How it looks and feels, how comfortable it is,
how much attention it’s made with, all have some impact on the OM.

When you and your partner are about to have an OM, you need to
set up the nest! This is what you’ll need:
• One blanket - something soft and clean for the strokee to lay on
• At least three medium sized pillows - you can see what works best, but
these will be to support the head and legs of the strokee
• A zafu or a firm cushion for the stroker to sit on - you’ll want it to feel
supportive so the stroker can relax while stroking
APPENDIX #2 | SUPPLIES & THE NEST THE APPENDIX

• One clean washcloth - this will go under the strokee, both to protect the
blanket from excess lube, and to do the towel stroke with at the end of the
OM
• One pair of latex, vinyl, or nitrile gloves - experiment with all types and see
what you both like best
• Lubricant - this has the stroke feel smooth and continuous. Choose a
lubrication that has a viscosity that can last for 15 minutes
• A timer - because OM is ALWAYS 15 minutes, so you will ALWAYS need to
time it

Optional nest items:

• Yoga mat to put under the blanket on harder floors
• Baby powder for sweaty hands before putting the gloves on

The nest is the setup of pillows and blanket where the OM will occur. It
does not include music, candles, or dimmed lights. This is because OM is
purposely kept simple with nothing extra. OM by itself doesn’t need anything
more than the simplest setup and the steps themselves. Adding anything
else actually takes away from being present in the practice.

The way you set up the supplies for an OM is always the same. And the way
you set up those supplies matters. Take your time, and deliberately place
everything where it belongs. Begin to practice having attention on details
and feeling your body. Do you throw down the pillows? Are you rushing? Is
the blanket straight? These things are small but they matter.

Make sure the place you are going to OM, is clean, well-lit and secure.
APPENDIX #2 | SUPPLIES & THE NEST THE APPENDIX

Let’s go through how to set these supplies up to create what we call

the “nest:”
1. Lay out the yoga mat and place the blanket on top
2. Make sure both are straight and smooth
3. Place a pillow at the top for the strokee’s head
4. Place two more pillows at both sides of the blanket for support under the
strokee’s knees
5. Place the zafu or firm cushion on the edge of the blanket to the right of
where the strokee’s right hip would be - next to the pillow for her right
knee
6. Place the washcloth next to the firm cushion in the middle of the blanket
directly under where the strokee’s genitals will be
7. The gloves, lubricant, and timer are placed in a clean location that is with-
in reach for the stroker once seated in the nest, we recommend placing
these supplies next to the firm cushion

You have now created everything needed for the nest.

APPENDIX #3 | GETTING INTO POSITION THE APPENDIX

Getting into Position APPENDIX #3

In this lesson we will teach you the position for each partner during the
OM. Knowing how to get into position and have maximum comfort with the
process helps each person feel more open in the OM experience overall.

We’ll describe how each partner gets in and out of the nest during the OM—
starting with the strokee. After you set up the nest, both partners get into the
OMing position.

Strokees
Strokees, undress from the waist down and lay down in the nest. Sit on the
towel and lay back until your head rests on the pillow. Bend your knees
and place your feet on the blanket. Find a position for your arms that feels
comfortable. It’s common to extend your arms out by your sides, rest them
on your torso, or gently hold the stroker’s leg. Stay relaxed and try not to grip,
APPENDIX #3 | GETTING INTO POSITION THE APPENDIX

clench or “hold” anything. Let yourself feel loose and open. And BREATHE!
You will most likely be holding your breath, even if you don’t realize it.

Rest your feet on the floor until your partner sits on the cushion, and then
slowly lower your left knee down to the pillow. Once your partner is seated
comfortably, you will bring your right leg over the stroker’s right leg. Allow
your partner to adjust the pillow so it rests under your right calf or foot.

You can ask for additional pillows under either leg so you are comfortable
and not straining. Be patient with yourself, as this is a new position for your
body. You may need two pillows under your knee one day, and three pillows
the next.

Breathe and relax! Try to imagine you are melting into the floor and put
attention on relaxing your body from your head to your feet - while the
stroker does the initial grounding and noticing steps. Bring all of your
attention to your genitals. Notice if they are hot, cold, warm, or cool. Do they
feel still, buzzing or pulsing? Remember you’re bringing your attention back
to your clitoris in every moment.

Now for the stroker!

You have a few more steps to consider getting into position but going slowly
will have you be a pro before long! You might experience some soreness
or aches while your body gets used to being held in a new position for
extended periods of time. Be patient with it and remember to breathe.

If you still feel a lot of soreness or if your limbs are falling asleep after you’ve
tried the position a dozen times or so, you might need some modifications or
more support in the nest. Check out the trouble shooting for some common
adjustments you can try if this is happening.

Position the zafu or firm cushion against your partner’s right hip. This is so you
APPENDIX #3 | GETTING INTO POSITION THE APPENDIX

aren’t straining your back over your partner’s body during the OM.

Now, standing behind the cushion, place your right foot to the right of the
cushion.

Then take your left foot and step over your partner’s body, placing that foot
near their left hip. Slowly lower yourself down to sit on the cushion. Your left
foot should be flat on the ground, and your leg extends over your partner’s
waist. Careful to not rest the weight of this leg on their stomach.

Next, extend your right leg out, so that it is flush to the ground and
comfortable. At this point, your partner’s right leg lifts over YOUR right leg,
then gently rests on a pillow.

Congratulations, you are now in the OM position!

To get out of the position at the end of an OM, the stroker swings their left leg
toward their right, and the strokee swings her right leg toward her left. The
stroker then offers their hand to the strokee to help them sit up. Each partner
then shares their frame, and then cleans up the nest.

Positioning can seem complicated at the start. It’s ok if you don’t do it

perfectly the first few times. After this lesson, practice getting in and out of
the position with your partner while staying fully clothed.

There is a lot to remember, especially for the strokers, so take your time
when you’re first starting out and remember that everyone feels awkward
when first getting into the nest.

For strokees, relax as much as possible and remember you can adjust
anything you need. Eventually—with practice—getting in and out of the nest
becomes second nature.
APPENDIX #4 | SAFEPORT THE APPENDIX

Safeport APPENDIX #4
In this lesson we will teach you about “Safeporting”, explain why safeporting
is important, and how it provides a sense of safety - all of which helps the
strokee relax in the OM.

The stroker “Safeports” the strokee during the beginning steps of the OM.
The definition of safeporting is fairly simple: telling someone what you are
going to do before you do it.

Safeporting increases a strokees feeling of safety, and ability to relax and

open up.

In a doctor’s office, a doctor will safeport you before they do everything:

before they weigh you, take your blood pressure or perform any procedures.
This has you relax and trust that you know what’s going to happen and when.
You don’t have any surprises.
APPENDIX #4 | SAFEPORT THE APPENDIX

In the New York City subway system, they discovered that once they installed
estimated wait times for trains, people felt more relaxed because they knew
what to expect.

There are two times in an OM a stroker will safeport the strokee: first, in the
grounding step, where a stroker makes physical contact by placing their
hands on the strokee’s thighs. Then second, just before the stroker places his
hands on the strokee’s genitals.

We recommend very specific language for safeporting, so that even the

safeport itself becomes predictable, routine, and reliable.

During the grounding step, the stroker will say, “I am going to touch your
thighs now.” Then, the stroker places their hands on the strokee’s thighs.

Just before beginning the stroking, the stroker will say, “I am going to touch
your genitals now.” Then, the stroker places their hands on the strokee’s
labia, in position to do the initial lube stroke.

In both cases, this has the strokee feel at ease knowing when they will be
touched.

Sometimes while you are OMing, either partner might need to adjust their
position, sneeze or cough, or the stroker might need to get more lube. It is
recommended that as much as possible, whether you are the Stroker or the
Strokee, you safeport your partner before any of these happen.

OM has many benefits, and to experience them, it’s important to follow all of
the steps. Safeporting is a quick yet important step that will allow you and
your partner to relax and be ready to connect.
APPENDIX #5 | GROUNDING THE APPENDIX

Grounding APPENDIX #5
In this lesson we will learn about grounding in an OM and when to use it.

The grounding step happens twice during the OM. The first time is in the
beginning of the OM, after both partners get into position in the nest. The
stroker places both hands on the strokee’s thighs with medium pressure.
The second is at the end of the OM after the timer goes off and stroking is
complete. This time the stroker places cupped hands over the strokee’s
genitals. Grounding is important because it creates a feeling of gravity and
safety in the OM.

In our daily lives, grounding is actually something that we naturally do but

don’t normally think about. Grounding is centering yourself and allowing
yourself to become present to the moment. You sink into your body and get
connected to what you’re doing, so that you feel more ease and confidence.
APPENDIX #5 | GROUNDING THE APPENDIX

Imagine you’re late to a meeting. You rush to the office. Before you open the
door into the room, you take a moment to collect yourself. You slow down
your breathing, make sure you have everything you need, and then open the
door and walk in. This is a form of grounding.

Getting a massage is another form of grounding. It helps you relax, releases

tension, and allows you to sink into your body.

In an OM, the first grounding starts after both partners are in position in the
nest. The stroker puts their hands on the strokees thighs midway between
their knee and hips with medium pressure and takes a moment to feel. The
grounding lasts for roughly 10-15 seconds and helps both people feel more
gravity, presence and readiness in their bodies. The stroker keeps their hands
on the strokees thighs while they continue into the noticing step. This is a
great way to keep the connection solid.

The second grounding occurs when the 15 minutes of stroking are over. The
stroker stops stroking. The stroker places their left hand over their partner’s
genitals with their fingertips facing up. They place their right hand over their
left (with the fingertips pointing down), and apply firm pressure down on the
strokees pubic bone and up towards the strokee’s head. The pressure can be
fairly firm. This step helps brings both people fully back into their bodies. The
grounding pressure signals that the OM is coming to a close.
APPENDIX #6 | NOTICING THE APPENDIX

Noticing APPENDIX #6
In this lesson we will explain what the noticing step is, explain the benefits
and learn how this teaches you to be present.

After the grounding in the beginning of the OM, the noticing step is where the
Stroker looks at their partner’s genitals and shares 2-3 value neutral things
they notice in the color, shape, texture, or size. The strokee simply says “thank
you” in response.

This is one of the most vulnerable steps when first starting an OM practice. It
can feel intimate to have someone’s full attention on you, or to put your full
attention on another person. This step is an opportunity for both partners to
become really present; the stroker focuses their attention to describe what is
right in front of them, and the strokee receives that level of attention without
any extra interpretation.
APPENDIX #6 | NOTICING THE APPENDIX

There is no value judgement or fancy adjectives, no “beautiful” or “bad”. “Like

a sunrise, or flower,” just the simplicity of the color, shape, texture and size of
the strokee’s genitals. It may be nice to hear “beautiful,” but it requires more
precise attention to notice “the blush color of the outer lips and the bright
pink color of the inner lips.”

That level of attention is intimate, and it’s an opportunity for both partners to
be more present and connected. This step helps the stroker practice their
attention, and their partner practices being able to listen and receive it.

After this lesson, pick an object near you and notice everything you can
about it for two minutes. Use value neutral and specific language. Be as
specific and detailed as possible.

The noticing step has been a training ground for us to be present because
we learn how to focus our attention. This simple step creates more intimacy
between partners while practicing skills like mind training and receptivity.
APPENDIX #7 | LUBE STROKE THE APPENDIX

Lube Stroke APPENDIX #7

In this lesson we will go over how to do the lube stroke. The lube stroke is the
first stroke the stroker does in an OM after safeporting their partner by saying
“I’m going to touch your genitals now.”

Using the middle and ring fingers of each hand, gently part the labia, and with
the left index finger - slowly move from the base of the introitus between the
parted labia to the clitoris.

The right thumb is placed at the base of the introitus, resting without applying
pressure or penetrating.

Bring the left thumb to rest just above the hood, pulling it back to expose the
clitoris. Put your left index finger on the 1 o’clock spot of the clitoris nestled
right under the hood. You’ll want to slightly hook your left thumb into the
pocket of the hood. You may or may not feel a zing at your fingertip as though
APPENDIX #7 | LUBE STROKE THE APPENDIX

its plugged into an electric socket. The first few strokes are downstrokes on
the spot, meaning you’ll stroke with firmer pressure and medium speed with
the pad of your fingertip.

Once it feels like you’ve landed in the OM begin picking up speed, using
upstrokes and downstrokes. For the next 13 minutes of the OM, stroke by
adjusting the five elements to a stroke: speed, pressure, length, location and
direction.
APPENDIX #8 | STROKING THE APPENDIX

Stroking APPENDIX #8
In this lesson we are going to talk about upstrokes and downstrokes. We use
the word stroking a lot in this course and practice. To be clear, a “stroke” is
the motion the stroker’s finger makes when it’s in contact with the strokee’s
clitoris.

There are five elements to a stroke; speed, pressure, length, location and
direction. You can vary a stroke with all of these elements, and direction is the
one that has a specific method that is unique to OM.

There are two different directions of strokes, you can stroke up or you can
stroke down. Neither direction is better than the other, however they are
distinct.

For upstrokes, you stroke with the tip of your finger. It tends to be lighter in
pressure and shorter in length. Your finger stays in contact with the clitoris
APPENDIX #8 | STROKING THE APPENDIX

through both the up and down portion of the stroke. Make sure you don’t lift
your finger off of the clitoris in either direction. Your stroking finger is slightly
hooked, and there is more emphasis on the upward motion in the stroke.

Upstrokes tend to generate uplifting sensations. They feel expansive or

a physical feeling of climbing upward. Upstrokes may feel like reaching,
teasing, ascending, or the feeling of building yearning.

Downstrokes use more of the pad of your fingertip and tend to be slightly
broader and longer. Just like upstrokes, make sure to stay in contact with the
clitoris the whole time, with slightly more emphasis on the downward portion
of the stroke.

Whereas in the upstroke your finger is slightly hooked, in the downstroke

your finger is flatter. Contact with the clitoris is primarily on the pad of my
finger, and there is more emphasis on the downward motion of the stroke.

Try this: Have an OM where you practice upstrokes for a few minutes and
then switch to downstrokes for a few minutes. Both you and your partner can
try to describe what it feels like in your body.

If speaking during the OM is too much to keep you focused on the stroke,
you can alternatively feel it, and then speak about it after the OM is over.

To recap, upstrokes are short, light strokes on the tip of the clitoris with more
emphasis on the up, and downstrokes are broader, slightly longer strokes
with emphasis on the down. In upstrokes you’ll feel an uplifting quality, and in
downstrokes you’ll feel a grounded heaviness.

In this lesson, we looked at direction of the stroke, one of the five elements of
a stroke. In a later lesson, we’ll talk about how and when to change a stroke,
but for now, study and learn each of the five elements.
APPENDIX #9 | OFFERS & REQUESTS THE APPENDIX

Offers and Requests APPENDIX #9

In this lesson, we’ll talk about how a stroker can make offers and a strokee
can make requests to change something during the OM. Offers and requests
are the tools you use to create the most connection and sensation possible
during your OM.

The reason why you would make an offer or a request is to tune into the spot
and find where the most sensation is. It’s almost like tuning a guitar. When you
first strum a chord on a guitar, you listen to hear if it sounds right -- to see if
the pitch is too high or too low.
Let’s start with offers. Strokers make offers to change some part of the stroke.

Examples of what a stroker might say when making an offer

Would you like a (firmer / lighter / faster / slower / etc.) stroke?
APPENDIX #9 | OFFERS & REQUESTS THE APPENDIX

The things you can offer to change as a stroker include the speed, pressure,
length, and location of the stroke itself.

Your offer is a simple yes-or-no question that changes one single part of the
stroke. You can’t actually do it wrong - if the strokee says yes, you have more
information and that’s a win! If they say no, then you were already doing it
right — also a win.

Be careful not to ask something like this:

“Would you like a faster stroke slightly to the left with more pressure?” This
makes it too complicated to dial-in what actually needs to change, so just
one thing at a time.

The reason why the stroker asks simple yes-or-no questions is so that neither
of them have to think too much and can continue to focus their attention on
the point of contact.

Questions for strokers to avoid are:

• Does it feel good?
• Am I stroking too (hard / soft / fast / slow / etc.)?
• What would you like?

Sometimes you may notice while you are stroking that you hear an intuitive
voice inside your head that says, “Stroke faster”! If that comes up, simply ask
her “Would you like a faster stroke?”

Next let’s talk about requests.

Strokees make requests. The aim of a request is the same as an offer - to
feel more sensation. A request asks that the stroker change one part of the
stroke. The stroker does not need to verbally respond to a request; they
simply adjust the stroke to the best of their ability to match the request. For
APPENDIX #9 | OFFERS & REQUESTS THE APPENDIX

this reason, effective requests are simple and specific.

Here are some examples:

• Would you move the stroke a little to the right?
• Would you go slower?
• Would you stroke a little lighter?

You might not know how to do this well in the beginning! You can ask for
multiple requests, as many as you want.

Let’s cover some things to avoid.

Statements like, “That doesn’t feel good” don’t give the stroker any
instruction on what to adjust. Other statements like, “Can you do something
different?” also don’t give the stroker any instructions on what needs to
change.

You can practice making offers or requests in your everyday life. Offers and
requests are a great communication tool to use when you’re not sure what
to do in certain situations. It also helps you feel more of what you want and
need in the moment, and have others feel successful in being able to give
you those things. Here is an example of an everyday request you can make.
“This tea is the perfect temperature. Next time could I have it with one more
teaspoon of honey?”

Offers and requests are extremely vulnerable for both parties. It may feel
a little clumsy or awkward at first. It helps to remember that underneath it
all, both people want the same thing: to feel more connection, and more
sensation.
APPENDIX #10 | PEAKING THE APPENDIX

Peaking APPENDIX #10

In this lesson, we are going to explore the skill of peaking, both in OM and in
life. You can spend years just learning to master peaking, so be patient with
yourself!

To start to lay out what peaking is, let’s look at a few places where it shows up
in life.

Think of a rollercoaster ride. Peaking is that moment on a rollercoaster right

as you switch from the initial climb up, to the first moment you shwoooooosh
down...it’s that few seconds where you’re just suspended in the air before the
next part of the ride takes you.

Another example, imagine you’re eating a piece of chocolate cake. Peaking is

when you’re enjoying it so much, but you know that if you take one more bite,
it’s not going to be as good as the last one, so you stop.
APPENDIX #10 | PEAKING THE APPENDIX

Peaking is changing your action, or stopping and shifting into something else,
right before the activity becomes less sensational.
more connection, and more sensation.

Peaking is a technique that takes a long time and a lot of practice to

master. In OM, peaking is changing the direction of the stroke, either up or
down, right before the sensation changes.This means that right before the
sensation starts to fade, it’s time to change the stroke - lighter or heavier,
faster or slower, up to down, or down to up.

The purpose of peaking is to keep the sensation in the OM alive and dynamic
over the entire 15 minutes. If you only stroke in one direction, or only at one
speed, pretty soon that stroke becomes dull, loses its sensation, or even gets
mildly irritating.

Strokers, if you’re in an OM and you think: “oh, was that just a peak?” It
probably was, and it’s time to change the stroke. You just won’t know in the
beginning - no stroker does. You just practice, try things, and feel.

Peaking in OM takes time and consistent practice to get better. Over time,
you’ll learn to anticipate the moment before the sensation is about to drop
off and change the stroke accordingly. You can’t do it wrong - everything you
try in OM is learning and growth for you.
APPENDIX #11 | TOWEL STROKE THE APPENDIX

Towel Stroke APPENDIX #11

Welcome to the lesson on the towel stroke. This occurs at the end of the
OM after the 15 minute timer goes off, and its purpose is to clean up excess
lubrication on the strokee’s genitals at the end of the OM.

For the towel stroke, the strokee slightly lifts their hips, and then the stroker
pulls the towel out and folds it in half.

The stroker lays the folded towel lengthwise over their partner’s genitals,
holding the top of the towel with their left hand. The stroker’s right hand
goes over the middle of the towel against the strokee’s genitals, with fingers
pointing downward.

Gently, pull the towel upward with the left hand while maintaining pressure
with the right hand, avoiding the anus and the clitoris.
APPENDIX #11 | TOWEL STROKE THE APPENDIX

Next, the Stroker opens the towel up and then reverses the fold of the towel,
so the lube is now on the inside. Then, they lay the towel over the strokee’s
genitals and leave it there. After this, the stroker removes their gloves, and
both partners sit up to share frames.

Here are some more tips about the towel stroke:

• Always use a fresh, clean towel for each OM
• Washcloth sized towels are best
• Always keep gloves on while doing the towel stroke
APPENDIX #12 | FRAMES THE APPENDIX

Frames APPENDIX #12

In this lesson we will teach you all about sharing frames. Sharing frames is the
final step of the OM, where both stroker and strokee share with each other a
description of a moment they felt physical sensation in their body during the
OM. The purpose of this step is having a way to close out the experience that
gives each partner more insight into what they felt, and what the other person
felt.
To understand frames, you first will need to understand the role of sensation a
bit more.

The definition of sensation is: a physical feeling or perception resulting from

something that happens to, or comes into contact with, the body.

The more you OM, the more physical sensation you will feel in your body.

Many people describe this process of feeling more physical sensation in their
APPENDIX #12 | FRAMES THE APPENDIX

bodies as “turning on.” Intuition, emotion, and desire all live in the body, so
“turning on” your body means you get to feel all of these things even more.

Here are some examples of what we mean by “sensation felt in the

body”:
• “A warm feeling in my chest”
• “A tingling sensation in my finger”
• “A expanding heat in my belly”
• “A cooling down my right leg”
• “A vibrating in my scalp”
• “Swelling in my lips”

The key to getting in touch with the sensations you are feeling is to start
small. A single moment of heat in your finger, or in your clitoris, or any part
of your body, is more than enough. The more you can acknowledge any
sensations you do feel, the more your body and mind open up to feel even
more.

For a lot of us, feeling sensation is foreign. Some people don’t feel very
much sensation when they first started OMing, and most of us don’t have the
language to describe what we feel either. We start simple, with what we do
feel.

Now that we understand what sensation is, let’s move to frames!

Sharing frames is when you describe to your partner a moment you felt
sensation in your body. In the frames step, the stroker and strokee each share
one frame with the other.

Frames are strictly about sensation. If someone were to say that they felt
good, you may not know what they meant. You would have to interpret it
APPENDIX #12 | FRAMES THE APPENDIX

based on your own idea of what “good” means to you. If instead they said that
they felt a warm, heavy pressure in their stomach, your mind wouldn’t have to
interpret that and you could let your body simply feel it.

It’s common for OM practitioners to report that they often feel more
connected to their partners after sharing frames. In frames, you are both
deepening your own experience and you are offering your partner a way to
connect to you.

When describing sensation in your body, here are some helpful

questions to ask yourself so you can start to put language to what
you are feeling:
• WHERE do you feel it in your body?
• Is it in your finger, arm, chest, genitals, spine, cheeks?
• Does it feel warm? Hot or cool?
• Does it feel heavy, or light?
• Is it buzzing, or still?

To share a frame, you isolate the sensation you want to describe to a single
moment. You start with, “There was a moment when I felt…” and then you
share the sensation you felt, and where you felt it.

For example, “There was a moment when I felt a warm pulsing move down
my thighs.”

Frames are not only useful for practicing expressing what you are feeling but
also connecting more with what your partner felt during the OM too.
 Resources
I N S T I T U T E O F O M . C O M / C O N TA I N E R

INSTITUTEOFOM.COM/SLOWSEX

YO U T U B E . C O M / T E DX

I N S T I T U T E O F O M . C O M | @ O R G A S M I C _ M E D I TAT I O N
INFO@INSTITUTEOFOM.COM