Cosmopolitan - March 2016 UK PDF

MARCH 2016
HOT-BODY
HELLO HIGH FLIERS
The workouts that
SMART women at the top
swear by
ASS!
The 7 high-street RISE
pieces that will
transform your body OF THE
MEAN
EXPOSED GIRLS
WHY WOMEN
THE BLOGGERS LIKE YOU ARE
WHO CONNED US ALL THEIR TARGETS
HOW
RUDE! KIM
WHAT DOES SHE
THINK ABOUT
HER SISTERS?*
Tales from the
dating frontline
9 770141 055283
03
WWW.COSMOPOLITAN.CO.UK
SPEAKS!
*(And what do they think about her?)
Contents
✱ On the cover
38 KIM SPEAKS! The Kardashians
MARCH 2016
100
on the Kardashians
50 HELLO SMART ASS! The
seven fashion items you need to
Not a large
get your hands on this spring lippy but a
92 HOT-BODY HIGH FLIERS brilliant bag!
How to pick the right exercise
regime and win at work
110 RISE OF THE MEAN GIRLS
Suffering ‘social pain’? Here’s
why it might be good for you
116 EXPOSED The health bloggers
who conned us all
149 HOW RUDE! Dating horror
stories: prepare to cringe
✱ Know
17 ME, MY STEAK AND I
Dining alone? You’re not alone.
(Well, you are, but…)
18 SHARP HEELS Step out
in something citrussy
20 HABERDASHERY HAIR
We’re talking hair-dressing
22 HOT RIGHT NOW New-
season makeup picks
24 WELL, HELLO THERE…
BNTM judge Paul Sculfor
27 ‘STOP BEING AN ASKHOLE’
It’s time to act on advice,
says Jameela Jamil
30 CONFESSIONS Five readers
(and a dog) come clean
32 SPOILT FOR CHOICE Which
TV streaming service will meet
your box-set-binge demands?
34 THE COMPASS The only
cultural advice you need
36 TAKING THE MIC? Singing
thesps: we sort the divas
from the dire
C O S M O P O L I TA N · 9
Contents 139
Facebook without
the heartache?
38
The Kardashians 67
give us some Show your hands
good shirt some love
✱ Wear who’d know better than SATC

creator Candace Bushnell?
The Facebook update we
need to happen now
49 SHOE HERO It’s the Bat signal! 84 GET UP, GET OUT AND GET 140 FIRST LOVE Could Monica and
58 HEY, HOW DO I WEAR… ON… Time to make friends Omar rekindle the old flame?
the suede dress? Here’s how with mornings 142 LOVE LETTER TO MY LABIA
62 SUPER JACKETS For biker Comedian Nikki Glaser gives
chicks and boardroom queens ✱ Move lip service…
100 THE HANDBAG HUNT Make 145 MY BEST SEX EVER WAS…
sure you’re well armed 87 THE COUPLE WHO TRAIN with a much older man
TOGETHER… Why it’s great 146 ‘I SAW THE SIGNS’ Do shared
✱ Glow to get sweaty with your partner tastes spell a perfect love match?
88 THE KNOCKOUT BODY 148 SEXUAL HEALING Therapist
67 TALK TO THE HANDS… WORKOUT Get your boxing Rachel has heard it all
Give your mitts a treat moves on
68 NIP. TUCK. BETRAYAL? 91 MY BODY’S AMAZING ✱ Play
Does ‘ethnic’ plastic surgery BECAUSE… Emma Webley
mean denying your race? likes to celebrate herself 151 SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE
73 INGE HAS ISSUES Is this the 98 BUNS OF STYLE You’ll make OF CHEESE The perfect toastie
Holy Grail of face creams? great strides in these leggings 154 £10 DINNER PARTY Michel
75 SKIN PURIFIERS The best Roux Jr’s sausage casserole
for banishing the bad stuff ✱ Read 155 DESIGN DOUBLES Bring
76 BEST. HACKS. EVER. Genius the outside inside this spring
beauty shortcuts that work 122 FIT TO GLOW Worried exercise
might play havoc with your ✱ And the rest…
✱ Earn skin? Read this
132 THE DELEGATION GAME 12 MEET TEAM COSMOPOLITAN
81 FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES There’s an app for… everything? 15 FROM THE EDITOR
The simple trick that could 150 THIS MONTH WE’LL BE…
put your career into orbit ✱ Lust Pampering our mums (aww)
82 TREAT YOUR CAREER LIKE 162 COSMOPOLITAN CONTRACT
A QUEST FOR LOVE … and 139 SAVE US FROM OURSELVES The Ikea mission ◆
10 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
RANDOM
QUESTION
OF THE MONTH
What’s the most
romantic gesture
you’ve ever
made?
FARRAH STORR
Editor
Deputy Editor SHOSHANA GOLDBERG Creative Director STUART SELNER
FEATU R ES
Acting Content Director ROSIE MULLENDER Acting Features Editor SOPHIE GODDARD
Features Writer HARRIET THURLEY Junior Writer JENNIFER SAVIN
Letting my boyfriend
E NT ER TA I N MEN T Bringing my boyfriend a
tall a PlayStatio
Entertainment Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN
al t beautiful shell back from India,
when t mine. DESI GN which he laughed at, then lost.
Art Director VICTORIA HORN (maternity) Acting Art Director LEWIS CHAM
Senior Designer HARRY WINFIELD Junior Designer JESSICA LOCKETT
PI CTU R ES
Picture Editor JOAN McCREA Assistant Picture Editor GEMMA ROBERTS
GRO UP ED ITOR I A L PR ODU CTI ON

Workflow Director DAVID ROTHON
Chief Sub-Editor CATHY LEVY Senior Sub-Editor SAMANTHA HARRIS
B EAU TY
Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN Asking my supermarket
Getting up and going out to
Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY Beauty Assistant LAURA CAPON colleague to face away
buy milk very early on a
from me while I confessed
Sunday so my wife could FASHI ON my love to my boyfriend
have her cup of tea… Senior Fashion Editor SAIREY STEMP Fashion Assistant NATASHA MILES in the detergent aisle.
COS M OPOLI TA N .CO.U K
Acting Digital Editor CLAIRE HODGSON Digital Writer CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER
Beauty Editor BRIDGET MARCH Fashion Editor JESS EDWARDS
CO NTR I B U TI N G EDI TOR S

RACHEL MORRIS, AMANDA STATHAM
Editorial Business Manager MERRICK CASSANOVA
I literally can’t think

Giving my boyfriend a card to
of one thing.
open every week while I went
My poor husband.
travelling for four months. We
GRO UP P UBLIS H ING D IRECTOR CHI EF EXECU TI VE OFFI CER broke up not long after.
DUNCAN CHATER ANNA JONES
Sales Director JESSICA MYERS Head of Events and Sponsorship VICTORIA ARCHBOLD HEA R ST MAGA ZI N ES I N TER N ATI ON A L
Brand Director HAYLEY LEWIS Regional Advertisement Director LISA BHATTI President/CEO DUNCAN EDWARDS
Brand Executive GEMMA POWELL Brand Director, Cosmopolitan.co.uk CERI FORSDICK Senior Vice President/CFO and General Manager SIMON HORNE
Group Partnerships Director LAURA CHASE (maternity) Senior Vice President/Director of Licensing and Business Development GAUTAM RANJI
Acting Group Partnerships Director ALISTAIR HOLT Senior Vice President/International Publishing Director JEANNETTE CHANG
Partnerships Director SARAH WHEATLEY (maternity) Partnerships Managers EMILY WILSON, Senior Vice President/Editorial Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN
GINA DAVOILE, KIRSTIE EDEN Art Director SIMEEN KARIM (maternity) Fashion/Entertainment Director KRISTEN INGERSOLL International Editions Editor JACQUELYN
Creative Solutions Acting Art Directors DALJIT KAUR BABBER, JOJO MA GALGEY Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN
Acting Senior Designer AKMAL SHAUKAT Partnerships Project Manager ALEXANDER STANHOPE
Partnerships Project Executive JEN HARRISON Brand Partnerships Manager VICTOIRE LAURIN I N TER N ATI ON A L EDI TI ON S
Marketing Promotions Manager GEORGIE WALTON Editor, Argentina MARÍA JOSÉ GRILLO Australia BRONWYN MCCAHON
Head of Marketing Operations JENNIFER SMITH Head of Digital Marketing SEEMA KUMARI Azerbaijan AYGUN MUSTAFAYEVA Brazil JULIANA DE MARI
Head of Consumer Sales and Marketing MATTHEW BLAIZE-SMITH Bulgaria DETELINA STAMENOVA Chile IGNACIA URIBE
Group Customer Marketing Manager NATASHA BARTMAN China YVONNE LIU Croatia MARJANA FILIPOVIĆ-GRČIĆ
PR Manager BEN BOLTON Events and Sponsorship Managers ELIZABETH HARDY, SOPHIE LUHR Cyprus STALO PAPANASTASIOU Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA
Production Director JOHN HUGHES Production Manager ALICIA GRAY (maternity) Estonia KELLY KIPPER Finland STINA MANTYNIEMI France MARIE LA FONTA
Acting Production Manager COLETTE CURLEY Senior Ad Production Controller PAUL TAYLOR Germany ANJA DELASTIK Greece LYDIA PAPAIOANNOU
Ad Production Controller JONATHAN STUART Director of Hearst Magazines Direct CAMERON DUNN Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING Hungary JOHANNA SABJÁN
Regional Sales Director KEELY MCINTOSH Consumer Sales Marketing Executive LUCY PORTER India NANDINI BHALLA Indonesia FIRA BASUKI Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU
Customer Marketing Manager SHIVONNE GOONAWARDANA Kazakhstan AZIZA YESMAGANBETOVA Korea HYUN JOO KIM Latin America
Senior Customer Marketing Executive VICKY CHANDLER Latvia GUNDEGA BICEVSKA Lithuania VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE Malaysia
Middle East BROOKE SEVER Mongolia Netherlands ANNE MARIJE DE VRIES LENTSCH
H E ARST M AGAZ INES U K Philippines MYRZA SISON Poland HANNA WOLSKA Portugal SANDRA MAURICIO
Managing Director, Brands MICHAEL ROWLEY Commercial Director ELLA DOLPHIN Romania DIANA COLCER Russia ALEXANDRA BADANINA, POLINA SOKHRANOVA
Director of Communications LISA QUINN Vice President, Strategy & Product Management LEE Serbia NASJA VELJKOVIC Singapore JO UPCRAFT Slovenia MANCA CAMPA
WILKINSON Chief Financial Oicer CLAIRE BLUNT Director of Editorial Strategy & Content South Africa CATHY LUND Spain ANA UREÑA Taiwan MIN CHUN CHANG
LOUISE COURT Circulation & Marketing Director REID HOLLAND Chief Digital Oicer DARREN Thailand PIMSIRI JAIYA Turkey OZLEM KOTAN Ukraine ANYA BAZDREVA
GOLDSBY HR Director SURINDER SIMMONS USA JOANNA COLES Vietnam NGUYEN THI DIEU MINH
This magazine can be recycled either through

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FIRST WORD
FROM THE
EDITOR Ask any of the Cosmopolitan team what my
favourite page in the magazine is and they’ll tell
you it’s Self Made (p82). I introduced it because I
was sick of thee same old schlocky career advice. You know:
‘Work hard, be b polite, always follow up with a thank you
note…’ Of ccourse, all that is true. Clichés invariably are.
But they d don’t really make you stand out, do they? And
that’s whaat you need in today’s crazy marketplace.
What I w wanted to find out was the real advice; the
‘Gripping…
impossible
to put down
.’
C.L. Taylor
weird bits of counsel that successful women have
JXQWLO
Õ.HSWPHJXHVVLQ page.’
the very last
(ULQ.HOO\
stumbled upon along the way. And so I started to
This month think ab
along th
bout the nutty bits of advice I’ve picked up
he way from great people, such as…
at Cosmopolitan…… 1. Alwaays neck 50% less at work drinks Seriously.
No matter how much you love your colleagues,
Lu cy Da wso
d to have a professional conversation with

it’s hard
so n someon ne you’ve seen gyrate around a traffic cone.
L u cy D aw
n
A wise old man told me this. Who presumably

once m made that comedic yet fatal error.
people your WHOLE name Joanna Coles,
2. Tell p
Clockwise from
editor of CCosmopolitan USA, told me this one. When
above: I’m floating you meet people for the first time, tell them your whole
about in this M&S ( , nott your middle ones or childhood nicknames,
name (OK,
beauty; being a
harsh-yet-fair judge
obviously). You mean business. This tells them so.
on Britain’s Next Top 3. Go for jobs that are out of your reach OK, if you’re
PHOTOGRAPHS FRANCESCO CARROZZINI, NATALIESARAHEDWARDS/INSTAGRAM
Model; I’m equally as a marketing assistant, going for the CEO’s post is
gripped by Kendall
Jenner’s pout in this
probably not a wise move. But applying for that role two
picture as I am by or three levels above your position? Do it. Rarely in life
Lucy Dawson’s will you get a private audience with people you want
forthcoming novel
to impress. And people remember impressive people.
4. Wear matching socks Nothing says professionalism
and attention to detail like a pair of well-coordinated
foot garments. Nobody takes the person seriously who
wears reindeer socks with a suit. Well, except Santa.
RAH ST
Editor
4 Follow me on Twitter @Farrah_Storr and

d IInstagram @farrahstorr
I F I T ’ S H O T A N D H A P P E N I N G , I T ’ S I N H E R E ...
MME, MY STEAK AND I
W
Would you go for dinner by yourself? We’re not
ta
alking a sneaky lunchtime McDonalds (that’s
th
he kind of chow-down you don’t want anyone
se
eeing) – but a proper meal in a nice restaurant.
More
M of us than ever now are, with reservations
or one up by 110% in the past two years – and
fo
after launching in Holland in 2014, the world’s
first one-person restaurant, Eenmaal (Dutch for
once’) has opened in London. A bonus is that
‘o
dining alone can discourage overeating – plus
here’s no tedious arguments over how to split
th
he bill. Dinner à deux? So last millennium.
th
BY HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPHS HEARST STUDIOS. PLATES FROM IKEA. RESEARCH BY OPENTABLE
17
£
39
0,
J
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om
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Ro
u
sse
a
u
£220, Kurt G
eige
r
Sharp
heels
Acid-bright shoes, made
to make your mouth water
We always endorse buying a new pair of shoes – just
please, not another pair of sensible black leather
courts… This season, citrus-bright heels with a toe
as sharp as a headmistress’s elbow are where it’s at.
They’re jaw-dropping, eye-catching and, seriously,
you can wear them with just about anything.
FAS H I ON S A IR EY S T E M P
PH O TO G R A P H D E N N I S P EDER SEN
t
et
nn
Be
LK
5,
£19
aren Millen
£150, K
£4
25
,
Ch
ris
tia
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Lo
ub
ou
tin
◆
TRY THE
TREND Haberdashery Raid your nan’s sewing kit
this season. She’ll understand
ESTEBAN CORTÁZAR S/S16
ALBERTA FERRETTI S/S16

1 MATERIAL
GIRL
STARE-AT SCALE: 3/3
The A/W15 stitching
at Haider Ackermann
LIP LIM S/S16
PHILL
3
Redken creative director
RING IT
STARE-AT
SCALE: 1/3
BY CASSIE POWNEY. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIO. PHOTOGRAPHS IMAXTREE.COM, JASON LLOYD-EVANS
looked ordinary compared Guido Palau had a stroke
to the faux python that of genius at the Alberta
bound hair at the S/S16 Ferretti S/S16 show,
Esteban Cortázar show. Lim’s tulle bandana. Yes, creating expensive-looking
Short on faux snakeskin? it resembles the netting hair jewellery using gold
Any fine strip of material oranges are packed in, elastic. “Even something as
will do. If you’re not feeling but by opting for a pale small as a piece of thread
brave enough to zigzag shade you’ll achieve a Hair comb, £145,
can make a simple style
multiple strands, bind the more delicate look. Wella Kat & George look special,” he told us.
base of a ponytail, winding Professionals lead stylist for Senhoa Following a voluminous
the fabric to halfway down. Paul Hanlon kept hair blow-dry, Guido made a
It’s a taste of tribal without underneath simple with deep side part, then wound
being too Pocahontas. a messy centre parting gold elastic halfway down
2
and a low, half-pulled-back the front section of hair. He
A TOUCH pony. To finish, he put twisted this ‘ringed’ section
OF TULLE a square of netting over around itself, pinning it to
STARE-AT SCALE: 2/3 the head, securing it one side. Multiple twisted
Fabric headbands earned behind each ear.“It had strands across the back of
their place in the S/S16 to feel very naive but not the head look even more
trends hall of fame, but romantic,” Paul told us. “It Gold elastic, wow, but you’ll need a
£2.20, John Lewis
our favourite was Phillip needed to be a bit tough.” friend’s help for that.
Tarte Rainforest of
the Sea Eyeshadow Lancôme
Palette, £30 MMy Parisian
A shadow palette in PPastels, £50
which every single NNine pastel
shade is wearable. ccubes for
What is this, sorcery? descent
shes of
lour on eyes
Clarins Instant
d cheeks.
Light Natural
Lip Perfector
in Toffee Pink
Shimmer £18
A new shade of Guerlain La Petite
a cult favourite Robe Noire Shiny
with shea butter Nail Colour, £17
to soften lips. The chicest nail
polish bottle we’ve
ever seen. Don’t get
us started on the
matching lipsticks!
Hot
right
YSL Beauté
Couture Palette
Indie Jaspe,
£42.50
An eyeshadow
palette that’s
now!
as pretty on
the outside
as it is inside.
Benefit Dew
The Hoola,
£22.50
A matt, liquid
bronzer that
you can wear
All the new-season
alone or
mix with
makeup joy you need
foundation.
in your life
BY LAURA CAPON. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS. TARTE AVAILABLE AT QVC.COM

Smells as
good as
it looks.
Givenchy Poudre
Lumière
Originelle, £41.50
This brightening
powder highlights
cheekbones with
zero shimmer or
glitter. Almost too
pretty to use.
Clinique Sweet Revlon Dramatic Definition
Pots Sugar Scrub Mascara, £9.99
& Lip Balm, £15 Revlon covers every lash need,
Double-sided SOS and we love this one for a
lip kit. Refine lips clump-free, fanned-out flutter.
with the sweet
scrub, then smother
with tinted balm.
22
WELL, Web shame
“There’s a picture of me
HELLO
online that will make you
blush, from a [nude] shoot
I did with photographer
Bruce Weber. It was a
cold day; it’s not the most
flattering picture. I’d like it
THERE...
deleted from the internet.”
Favourite
position
Paul “Doggy style.”
Sculfor
The Essex-born HIS VITALS
model and Britain’s Age 44
Next Top Model Hometown
judge on the photo Upminster, Essex
he doesn’t want you Big break

He won The Face
to see – and what Of 92 modelling
really goes down contest (which his
mum entered him
in his bedroom.... for) while working
as a bricklayer.
Crazy fact #1
Last kiss As a teenager, Paul
was a competitive
“My girlfriend. I don’t have a type, but boxer and gymnast.
that doesn’t mean I’m not fussy! I love 1, 2, 3… straddle
engaging, intelligent, attractive women jump?
BY SOPHIE GODDARD. PHOTOGRAPH STYLE MAGAZINE/SYNDICATION

I can have fun with. The whole package!” Crazy fact #2
His love life is
almost as juicy as
that photo he’s
embarrassed of. His
Sleep style Last time I cried

famous exes include
Cameron Diaz,
“I usually just wear Jennifer Aniston,
“This morning. My mum is really Lisa Snowdon and
shorts in bed. Not
unwell; I rang my publicist and just Nicole Appleton.
boxer shorts – sporty,
welled up. You’re a stronger man if
well-fitted ones. I’m
you’re in touch with your emotions
talking Calvin Klein, ✱ Britain’s Next Top
– there’s nothing more damaging
not Speedo…” Model is on Thursdays
than running away from yourself.”
at 9pm on Lifetime
JAMEELA
JAMIL
Make a change
skhole: a person who
A repeatedly asks your

advice but never takes
it. I have a few of these
in my life. They are some of my
favourite people; some of my smartest,
funniest, most talented and generally
wonderful friends. But they also drive
me mad, although I’m sure I’m guilty
too, with some of the poor decisions
I’ve made in my time. For starters, I’d
oicially like to apologise to all of my
loved ones for at least seven months of
2009, as well as March to May of 2013.
Since we’re on the topic, I’m aware
that I didn’t make the best decisions
last January. I’m also sorry for every
time I’ve broken up with a boyfriend,
let you slag him of to me, and then
got back with him. I’m the most
sorry for doing that.
Anyway, I digress.
It feels as though people are
guiltiest of not taking the advice they
seek when it comes to relationships.
Some of us push the line much
further than we’d normally deem
acceptable in the name of love. When
someone is miserable at work, they
start entertaining the idea of a new
job and, usually, start making moves
‘Stopbeing
in that direction.
If someone has a nightmare
neighbour who disturbs their quality
of life, they tend to get other people
involved to confront that person, or
an askhole.
they start looking to relocate.
And yet, when it comes to a
relationship that makes you feel
anxious/bored/undermined/unsexy/
angry/claustrophobic/all of the above,
we tend to stay longer than necessary.
Meanwhile we moan about it to our
Always asking for advice on an unhappy situation? friends in order to feel justified. We
It’s time to do something, says JAMEELA JAMIL listen to their wise words, digest them
and then… we let that part of our i
EMERGENCY EXIT
These four celebrities
should have left sooner
brain that is governed by fear dictate

our actions – we dismiss the sensible
JENNIFER year, before you make any decision –
even tiny ones like what you’re about
option to change our situation.
ANISTON to eat – ask yourself, ‘Is this the best
WHAT Her five-year
But why? What are we afraid of? marriage to Brad Pitt. thing possible for me right now?
Is it a fear of being alone? Has our SHOULD HAVE GOT OUT When Will it make me happy?’ If the
lover convinced us that we’re lucky he missed the filming of the last-ever answer is no, don’t do it.”
to have them and that we don’t have Friends to work on Mr & Mrs Smith. It sounds simple, but following it
a chance of finding anyone else? Or INSTEAD They stayed together for was hard – it went against the grain.
another year despite affair rumours
is it the age-old classic: something We know what’s good for us, what
about Brad and co-star Angelina Jolie.
really tough happened to you when happiness feels like and that we
you were younger that put you in deserve to be loved, cherished and
a state of unrest, guilt or anxiety? KATE MOSS respected. We were born feeling
I was once told that if something WHAT Her two-year entitled to these things. But then life
relationship with
makes you feel a certain way when Pete Doherty.
happens and it can chip away at our
you are at an SHOULD HAVE GOT OUT Soon confidence. We voluntarily enter –
impressionable after they met, they had a fight on the and stay – in shark-infested water.
Eurostar which left Pete with cut hands. So if, in the pit of your stomach,
‘We are so age (typically
from the ages INSTEAD They split in 2007. He you feel that something isn’t right,
often guilty of one to 20) it compared the last six weeks of their
relationship to ‘the Vietnam war’.
then address it. Speak up. Move.
of allowing is very possible
that that feeling
Do something.
The answer isn’t always to leave.
past patterns is now your PERRIE EDWARDS But do set yourself an ultimatum,
to dictate comfort WHAT Her four-year
relationship with
and if the thing that’s making you
our futures’ zone, even if
it is slightly
Zayn Malik.
feel bad doesn’t change immediately,
then maybe it is no longer in your
SHOULD HAVE GOT OUT In 2013,
uncomfortable. when pictures emerged of him asleep best interests to stay.
Take me for example. I had a very next to Aussie waitress Courtney Webb. Decisions are the brushes with
tough upbringing, and grew up living INSTEAD The pair, who were which we paint our lives, and we are
with and caring for mentally unwell engaged, split last August. He has so lucky to be living in a part of the
people who sometimes struggled to denied ending the relationship by text. world that afords us those rights,
BOX BY LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS TOM WATSON, GETTY, WENN.COM. HAIR ZOE IRWIN
survive. They made their problems unlike so many women elsewhere.
everyone’s problems and this meant
that I became accustomed to feeling
KATIE HOLMES If your friends are telling you that
you’re not living at your full potential,
WHAT Her five-
stressed and anxious most of the time. year marriage and you can feel it under your skin,
As a result, I was drawn to, or to Tom Cruise. then at least look at it, honestly,
created, situations that made me feel SHOULD HAVE GOT OUT In straight in the eyes.
that way, because it was a familiar 2005, when he jumped on Oprah’s Understand that it’s OK if you have
sofa to declare his love for her.
feeling for me. I would look at chosen the wrong person – that’s
INSTEAD She divorced him in
someone treating me badly as 2012, in part because of his nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not
someone I could help and I would involvement in Scientology. that you’re foolish for missing signs;
take on their problems because it nobody (decent) will judge you.
was all I knew how to do. It took recognise you’re doing it. It’s What is foolish is to stay once
me back to my original setting, completely understandable and you’ve seen the whole picture.
which, weirdly, made me feel safe. entirely human. Lastly, is there anything you need
We are so oten guilty of allowing But it’s also very possible to stop to change that you’ve been ignoring
past patterns to dictate our futures. doing it. A wonderful woman I met lately? Are you as happy with your
I don’t need to tell you it’s three years ago, who could see I was lot as you could be?
unhealthy. You are smart enough to buckling under the pressure of my And more importantly: are you
know this, but sometimes it’s hard to own bad choices, told me, “For one just being an askhole? ◆
Because
sometimes
life is
stranger
than
fiction
LIFE ONLINE STYE IT OUT
My younger sister created a blog all TWO DAYS BEFORE MY

about my embarrassing moments. It FIRST MODELLING JOB,
BUT I includes clips of me wailing along to One I GOT A HUGE STYE ON
When I arrived for INSIST
Direction, cringe-inducing baby photos MY EYE – IT LOOKED LIKE
a job interview A SECOND EYEBALL.
they told me I’d got and quotes such as, ‘Is it easier for short
the wrong date, but I insisted I RANG THE AGENCY TO
it was the company who had
people to paint their toenails as they’re TELL THEM BUT THEY
messed up. Ater making a nearer the ground?’ (Seriously, is it?) DIDN’T CANCEL. I’M NOW
fuss about them ‘wasting my MAUREEN, 26, UNIVERSITY ASSISTANT, LA
time’, it turned out it was my
A TASTE OF ITALY?
ON THE COVER OF A TOP
mistake. Yet I managed to
convince them to see me
After a visit to London I told my sister about the CATALOGUE WITH THE
amazing pasta I’d had at “Allbarone”. Whereupon
that day… and got the job! she cracked up – turns out I’d been in All Bar One.
GROSSEST EYELID.
LEIGH, 32, DIGITAL LYDIA, 24, HAIRDRESSER, SUNDERLAND MELANIE, 34, MODEL,
PRODUCTION, SURREY LONDON
STAIRWAY TO HELL
In a shopping centre in Italy, my maxi
skirt got caught in an escalator. As the
stairs moved, my skirt was pulled lower
GLASS ACT
I recently and lower until I was flashing the queue DOGGY STYLE
attempted to
steady myself
forming behind me. I had to rip half of it I snuck into my owner’s bag and
off and fashion a sarong, then scarper.
AS CONFESSED TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS
ripped up a pair of flip-flops and

ANTONIO PETRONZIO, LAURA ALLARD-FLEISCHL.
against a glass wall in a a pack of cigarettes. Hey, I was

bar, only I didn’t realise I’ve never looked more chic. trying to help: smoking is terrible.
HAIR AND MAKEUP NATACHA SCHMITT
the wall stopped at waist KITTY, 28, ACTRESS, ANNIE, 1, TOP DOG,
height. Obviously I fell NORFOLK LONDON
straight over it, Del Boy-
style. I tried to laugh it of, TAN-TASTIC MY HOUSEMATE WAS OUT FOR THE NIGHT SO I DECIDED TO SLAP ON FAKE TAN
but there was no real way AND RELAX IN MY PANTS. BUT I STOPPED RELAXING WHEN I SAW A HUGE SPIDER. SCREAMING,
of styling that one out. I JUMPED ON A CHAIR AND SPRAYED IT WITH OVEN CLEANER. NATURALLY MY HOUSEMATE
STACEY, 25, AND HER BOYFRIEND APPEARED AT THAT EXACT MOMENT.
MEDIA ASSISTANT, ESSEX GEM, 31, PASTRY CHEF, TYNE AND WEAR ◆
TV & FILM
FOCUS Spoilt for choice
Confused by the many streaming services on offer? Help is here…
W
e can’t remember a time when looking at the multitude of streaming
we weren’t able to watch the
entire new series of Orange
services on ofer gives us brain cramp.
So here’s a dummy’s guide to the best HE’S
Is The New Black within minutes of it
landing on Netflix. But no matter how
many box-set binges we partake in, just
options out there right now and
which one is right for you. Let the
series bashing commence… BACK…
It’s three years since The
Dictator, and Sacha Baron
Cohen is back with hilarious
new film Grimsby. Given
Packed with films and Wide selection of Game of Thrones, As well as a huge that he’s had a run-in with
series such as Jessica shows including The Girls and Scandal… selection of films and rednecks, sat on Eminem’s
Jones. This year sees Big Bang Theory, need we say more? TV shows like The Man
face and spilt an urn of ashes
PROS
the launch of Love, American Horror A vast array of In The High Castle,
a genius comedy from Story and Fargo, content from 13 you get free one-day on the Oscars red carpet, we’re
Judd Apatow, and plus you can different channels; delivery when you sure football hooligan Nobby
Chelsea Handler’s download content to you can also watch shop and access to won’t disappoint. Here are
new Chelsea Does. watch at a later date. some Sky shows live. music streaming. his best insults to date…
You’re not able to As a pay-as-you-go You have to pay extra Only content with a
BORAT ON MADONNA (2006)
CONS
download videos service (from £5.99 to add films to your Prime banner can be
to watch offline. for a series), it’s pricey package, and the streamed. Anything “My only concern
BY LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS LANDMARK MEDIA, ALLSTAR, REX FEATURES. GRIMSBY IS IN CINEMAS ON 24 FEBRUARY
if you use it regularly. choices are limited. else costs extra. is that this singing
transvestite will
You like spending You want to dip in You want to watch You didn’t get to
PERFECT IF
n
not be such a
entire weekends and out and only some Sky shows finish watching good father.”
watching obscure new pay for what you but don’t want to a series the night
shows then telling want to watch, when pay a fortune for before – do it on
everyone about them. you want to watch it. a Sky subscription. the bus instead. BRÜNO ON NAOMI
CAMPBELL (2009)
From £5.99 a month From £1.89 per £6.99 a month for £79 a year (£6.58
COST
after a free one- episode to £3.49 the Entertainment a month) with a “Naomi Campbell
month trial. to rent the latest Month Pass after free 30-day trial. inspires me – despite
film releases. a free 14-day trial. all ze pressure und
fame of 25 years at
THE MAN ze top, she hasn’t
JESSICA IN THE HIGH changed und has
JONES CASTLE remained a bitch.”
GAME OF
AMERICAN THRONES
HORROR
STORY ALI G TO DAVID
BECKHAM (2001)
“We has all seen

pictures of you
wearing clothes
that was well
embarrassing and
make you a proper
laughing stock!”
The
Pointing you in the right cultural direction this month...
GRASSHOPPER ‘MANLY’ FLORAL SUITS
Floating our boat

COCKTAILS While we like men being in n
Critter Bitters, new mixers touch with their feminine
made from vitamin-rich side, we just don’t get this
crickets flavoured with look. Harry Styles may be
vanilla, cocoa and almond a fan, but they remind us off
give drinks a health kick. our childhood bed covers.
ZOOLANDER 2 EMOJIS
It’s been 15 years since The love afair is over.
we learnt there’s more Once your dad starts
to life than being really, texting a winky face or
really good-looking. See the crying-with-laughter
Ben Stiller and Owen character, it’s time to
Wilson in the sequel. go back to words.
PILLOW TALK CRYING ENABLERS

Forget FaceTime; lovers who Ever thought mid-cry,‘I’d lovee
are apart can feel like they’re a strange man to wipe away
sleeping next to each other my tears?’ Us neither, but now
with a gadget that sends the Japanese can hire male
their loved one’s heartbeat to ‘couriers’ to help them let out
a speaker under their pillow. emotions, then do just that.
BY LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY, PLANET PHOTOS, SPLASH NEWS, IMAXTREE

POOL HAIR 50 SHADES OF GREY
Slick your hair back with Last Valentine’s we
gel for a serious wet look – lost two hours of our
Sinking our ship
it’s not only on trend, thanks life watching Christian

to Missoni and Kenzo, but and Anastasia. This
also perfect for taming those year, try the new spoof
awful static winter locks. Fity Shades Of Black.
JAMES JAGGER YOGAPLASTY

Not only is Mick’s There’s been a scary 48% %
son easy on the eye t ’s rise in labiaplasty in thee
incredible as punk si ger Kip US partly due to women
in Scorsese’s new Sk Atlantic wanting to look ‘neater’ in
nder who
series Vinyl. We won gym gear. What happen ned
he based his charactter on… to letting it all hang outt?
MUSIC
FOCUS Taking the mic?
Actors launching musical careers can go one of two ways.
LAURENCE FOX is the latest to give it a go, but how have others fared?
OUR
RATING
Jamie Foxx
WHAT? The actor has released
five studio albums (four of
which were top 10 in the US).
ANY GOOD? If soulful R&B
OUR ballads and club tunes are
RATING r thing, yes.
QUIT THE DAY JO
h Chris Brown
(see
Changed
n
“What, Laurence ure
Fox who’s married to Billie
Piper?” were our exact words when we
Hailee heard the actor was releasing an album. We
know the Fox family are a talented bunch, but it
OUR
RATING
Steinfeld
WHAT? After appearing in
wasn’t what we expected from Laurence, aka Lewis’
chain-smoking DS James Hathaway. So we’ll let you i

Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood
on a little secret: Holding Patterns is rather good.
video, Hailee released single
Love Myself last summer. “People don’t like it when you have more than one
ANY GOOD? The girl-power job,” he comments. “Actors do release music, and if i
banger went platinum in the shit, you deserve everything that’s coming your wa
BY LOTTIE LUMSDEN. HOLDING PATTERNS IS RELEASED ON 5 FEBRUARY. PHOTOGRAPHS FAMOUS UK,

US but only hit 180 here. I’m proud of my music.” Laurence, 37, has been
QUIT THE DAY JOB? She’s
since he was 20 when he taught himself
had mixed reviews, but with
T-Swizzle as her mentor uitar; he’s been writing his album for
she’s in with a good shot. ve years and now plans tto ttour. H
Here
e four other actors who o have tried
OUR
to make the jump – with
varying results…
…
Lindsay Lohan
WHAT? She features on
RATING
REX FEATURES, GETTY IMAGES, INFPHOTO.COM, PLANET PHOTOS
Duran Duran’s recent
album Paper Gods, and
OUR has released two albums,
RATING Speak and A Little More
Personal (Raw).
ANY GOOD? Her own
Miley Cyrus
WHAT? Miley found fame
material sounds a bit
like Britney Spears on a
on Disney show Hannah bad day but she has a
Montana but released her surprisingly good voice.
first album aged 14. QUIT THE DAY JOB? If we
ANY GOOD? She’s had three were Lindsay, we’d focus
No.1 albums and was responsible on getting a Mean Girls
for the phenomenon that was sequel released instead.
Wrecking Ball, so…
QUIT THE DAY JOB? She has
– we doubt she’s looked back.
36
Think you know everything about the world’s best-
known sister act? Then you’ve clearly not read this totally
eye-opening interview with THE KARDASHIANS
Family portraits are never an easy thing to
master. There’s always the giddy younger
sibling who won’t play ball. Or the surly,
skulking middle child who wants no part
in such scenes of contrived familial bliss.
There’ll be an imperious elder, too, and an
impatient matriarch, and someone will always,
always end up with their eyes closed. But
when that family is The Kardashians? Well,
cast your eyes right and you get the idea…
These are, after all, the world’s most
photographed sisters; women whose faces peer
back at us from tabloids, TV screens, phones
and billboards every day of the week. We are
as familiar with their lives as we are with our
own family members. Seriously, log onto any
celebrity news site at any hour of the day and
you can essentially get a real-time feed on their
lives and movements. But behind the cameras,
what are they really like? How do they see one
another and do they really think Kim takes
too many selfies? C’mon, we had to ask… i
CELEBRITY
Whoever’s idea it was

to put all our trousers
in the wash is fired
Kim Kardashian West, 35
I’m not
really a
fearless
person but
Kourtney is
the bravest
CELEBRITY
ON KOURTNEY
I don’t know what I would
have done if I’d been born
first. I copied every single thing
that Kourtney did. She taught
me how to tie my shoes – she
taught me everything.
We have had some huge fights.
She knows exactly how to get
to other people. I had to wear
a bra at a young age and she
would destroy me over it. But
you can say anything to her –
nothing fazes her.
She is the most practical one
– stable and calm. Every once
in a while she will break down,
but she always has the attitude
of, ‘We’re going to get through
this.’ It’s rare to see her cry. The
SHOES (KYLIE, KENDALL, KIM), JIMMY CHOO. THIS PAGE: DRESS (KIM), HOUSE OF CB LONDON; (KHLOÉ) CUSHNIE ET OCHS
PREVIOUS PAGES: SHIRTS (KHLOÉ, KYLIE, KOURTNEY), MARC JACOBS; (KRIS, KENDALL, KIM) CALVIN KLEIN WHITE LABEL.
moment you’d expect someone

to cry is the exact moment Khloé Kardashian, 31
when she won’t. I’m not really
a fearless person, but I think
Kourtney is the bravest. In the When our dad died (in 2003; lawyer
beginning of the show, when Robert Kardashian was also Kourtney
I thought little things were such
a big deal, she made me realise ON KIM and Kim’s dad), I distanced myself from
not just Kim but everybody. Ater a
they weren’t. She taught me that I am the mummy to Kendall couple of years, we went back to having
it’s not worth wasting energy and Kylie, and I have a playful a great relationship. Sometimes I see
on things that don’t matter. relationship with Kourtney. But my her roll her eyes at me, but I don’t take
What’s surprising is that in connection with Kim is more adult. it personally. It’s just my energy level is
college she was a wild party girl. I go to her for serious matters. Some loud and she’s really sotly spoken and
She didn’t like kids. She had a people you talk to and it’s in one quiet. She doesn’t like to curse or drink;
kids’ clothing store and hated ear and out the other; Kim listens. I’m like a truck driver in comparison.
when children came in! Now During a break-up, you think,‘This It is frustrating that anyone would
she’s the best mum in the world. is it. No one is ever going to date think Kim is self-centred. She has
And as a mum myself now, me again.’ Kim is the one who the biggest heart and wants to uplit
I call her for everything. It’s reminds you life is going to be OK. everyone. Just because someone takes
exactly like how we were before: Growing up, I thought she was a selfie – which the whole world does
I just copy Kourtney. And my the coolest ever. She’s always been – doesn’t mean she should be labelled
daughter wants to do everything so beautiful. I tried to do my hair as egotistical. You can take a fucking
Kourtney’s daughter Penelope like hers, which didn’t work since selfie! That doesn’t define where
does. We’ve come full circle. mine is blonde and curly. your heart is. i
ON
KENDALL
I was in the delivery room
when Kendall was born. It was
magical to witness my mum
(Kris Jenner) giving birth. I’d
babysit Kendall all the time. She
and Kylie reminded me a lot of
Kim and me – inseparable.
In superficial ways, Kendall
and I are opposite – like, I’m 5t
tall and she’s a supermodel. But
our demeanour is similar. We’re
even-keeled, not dramatic. My
sisters are the people I feel
safest talking to. I don’t think
age matters when it comes to
relationship advice. It isn’t
I love talking always all about experience.

Sometimes Kendall and Kylie
to Kendall are more in tune with their

emotions because, as we get
and Kylie older, if we’ve been burnt we

can shut our emotions down.
– they’re I love talking to them because

they’re so open.
so open From a very early age,

Kendall would say,“I’m gonna
be a model.” Looking back, I’m
like, how did you know that?
You had no clue what you were
going to look like! But she just
DRESSES (KOURTNEY), GOMEZ-GRACIA; (KENDALL) FENDI; (KHLOÉ)
knew. I’m still blown away that HOUSE OF CB LONDON. TOP (KYLIE), FRANZISKA FOX. EARRINGS,
she knew what she wanted in

life and made it happen.
I’ve told her going to college
KAVANT & SHARART. CUFF, JENNIFER FISHER
was one of the best experiences

for learning to live away from
home, do laundry and make
my own friends. But Kendall
has that with her job. She’s
learnt to take care of herself.
She has an amazing work
Kourtney ethic. For her world, she
Kardashian, 36 made a great decision.
42
CELEBRITY
Kendall Jenner, 20
(left) with Khloé
(centre) and Kylie
his daughters finding her dressed as a always crazy and chatty. My brother
woman]. That was just us so we had a would get a new girlfriend and she’d
ON KYLIE diferent connection with it. My dad is
my dad. He’s their dad too but he’s my
lock her out of the house in the rain
because she thought it was funny.
Our family grew up in twos – Khloé blood. I was a daddy’s girl, same with She loves attention. When we were
and my half brother Rob, Kourtney Kylie. We spent every day with my dad younger, it bothered her that I was
and Kim… We’re pairs, and Kylie is so it had a special efect on us. getting attention in terms of my
my other half. Everyone thinks, based on how she modelling. I think that’s a normal
With Dad [Caitlyn Jenner, formerly looks and acts, that Kylie is super- younger-sister thing. I was jealous
Bruce, who transitioned last year], my mature and grown-up, and I’m sure of her too! But now she loves what
sisters and I all had experiences with it, she loves that. But I see the Kylie who’s I do and supports me. She’s very
but for Kylie and me [Caitlyn is their young and fun. She just brightens the into fashion and texts me when I’m
biological father], being the closest in room. I know that sounds cheesy, but doing a big show [with messages] like
age, we had intimate moments of she has this energy that’s awesome. ‘How were the clothes?’. It’s as much a
catching him [Caitlyn has talked about Even when she was little she was part of her life as it is mine. i
CELEBRITY
Kylie Jenner, 18
(KHLOÉ AND KIM) MARIO DEDIVANOVIC AT THE WALL GROUP; (KENDALL AND KOURTNEY) ROB SCHEPPY FOR CLOUTIER REMIX, USING TWEEZERMAN BRUSH IQ. NAILS (KRIS AND KIM) KAILEY PHAN; (KHLOÉ, KYLIE) KIMMIE KYEES
PROFESSIONALS AT THE WALL GROUP; (KOURTNEY) PETER SAVIC AT OPUS BEAUTY; (KENDALL, KYLIE) SCOTT CUNHA FOR THE ONLY AGENCY, USING ORIBE AND KARDASHIAN BEAUTY. MAKEUP (KRIS AND KYLIE) JOYCE BONELLI;
ON KHLOÉ
FOR ORLY INT’L; (KENDALL, KOURTNEY) KIM TRUONG. PRODUCTION FIRST SHOT PRODUCTIONS. PROPS STYLIST ANDY HENBEST/FRANK REPS. TOP, JONATHAN SIMKHAI. SHORTS, JENNIFER KATE. EARRINGS, KYLIE’S OWN.
AS TOLD TO KATIE L CONNOR. PHOTOGRAPHS FRANCESCO CARROZZINI. STYLING ELIZABETH STEWART. HAIR (KRIS AND KIM) CHRIS McMILLAN FOR LIVING PROOF AT SOLOARTISTS.COM; (KHLOÉ) JEN ATKIN FOR WELLA
Khloé puts her all into her

relationships. She loves hard.
People don’t realise that. She
drops everything for everybody.
Growing up, she was like a
second mum to me. Because
she was younger, Kendall and
I confided in her because we
thought my mum wouldn’t
understand. I’m sure she’d call
Mum and tell her everything but
she always had our backs. If we
had an issue with people, she
would just call the other person’s
parents. Just last night we were
at a party and a guy was being
rude to me. She went off on him.
When I wanted to go on
Facebook, Khloé had the
password. But we’ve moved past
that. Of course my mum was also
hands-on – she was the scariest
growing up – but Khloé gave my
life balance. I wouldn’t be as
funny if it weren’t for her. She
made me feel I could be myself.
Now that I’m older, there have
been times where we’ve gotten
I wouldn’t into arguments because she still

thinks of me as her baby sister.
be as funny When I was eight and she was

20, we couldn’t talk about
if it weren’t everything – we just weren’t on

the same level. But now that I’m
for Khloé. 18, I have my own home and I’m

doing my own thing, we’re best
friends. And even though she’s
She let me older and has had different
relationships, she never tells me
be myself who to date and who not to date.
She lets me live my life. i
Life on planet
Kardashian
Ever wondered what’s the most annoying thing about
Khloé? Or what it is that makes Kourtney feel s ?
We asked them and they told us…
Nickna :
Nicknames:
The last thin I watched:

With uys I’m a sucker for:
for:
Th i
Pet peeve:
Everyone in my family teases me about:
The most annoying thing

I feel sexiest when: about me is:
The Kanye song that I play the most: Favo rit kar
Myy f emoji: Everyone in my family
My favourite thin to do with North:

The best thing my mum
ever tau ht me:
People would be surprised to know that
Kanye and I talk about:
CELEBRITY
Nicknames:
s:
:
The best thing my mum
taught me: -
This year I’m thankful for:

Everyone in my family he thing m most prou of:
Pet peeves:
My happy place:
Fa
Everyone in my family
teases me about:
The sexiest thing about a guy is:
I feel sexiest when: I overuse this word:

M first ki s::
Here’s what people always get My hidden talents:

wrong about our family: I’m thankful for:
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES
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WOR
NEW LOOK
Price £39.99
On sale From 29 February
Why will this sell out? New
Look says: “It had all the
editors talking at our press
day. It’s the perfect summer
frock, dressed up or down.”
Fans of the brand Paloma
Faith, Rosie Fortescue, Lucy
Watson and Lilah Parsons.
Why Cosmopolitan loves it
Romance and prettiness is
going to be seen everywhere
on the high street this
summer following hit shows
by Chloé and Alberta
Ferretti. This lace dress is
top of our romance list,
(well, ater Leonardo
DiCaprio of course…)
1
How to get it Follow New
Look’s social-media channels;
THE PICTURE-
they keep tabs on the latest
PERFECT pieces to hit Newlook.com
DRESS
and stores, and give updates
on sought-ater items. i
E
ye-catching, body- three-quarter length was tricky to coverage of Kate Middleton meeting
loving and wardrobe- pull of. Behind every success story Michelle Obama while wearing a
changing, every season like this there’s careful planning camel Reiss dress ensured that it sold
the high street always and some good old-fashioned luck. out within hours, crashing Reiss’s
brings us a couple of Belinda Earl, M&S style director says, site to boot. Add to this the fact that
‘stop-everything-I-need- “When I first saw the skirt, I knew celebrities such as Alexa, Bella Thorne
it-now’ pieces. Shop it would be a popular style for us and Cressida Bonas have attended the
queues form, websites – though the support we received Topshop Unique catwalk show, all
crash and beleaguered exceeded all expectations. It became thanks to their love of the brand.
store managers have to the most requested sample The need to ‘have’ has
explain to disappointed at any M&S press event.” been escalated by social
customers that their But it’s not just the media. Catwalk shows
must-have is sold out. fashion icons such as are now live-streamed
But what, you Alexa who encourage ‘The need to and accessible via the
may ask, actually products to shit. Behind “have” has been Twitter and Instagram
is an ‘IT’ item?
Well, these ‘high-street
the scenes, stylists work
with fashion PRs and new
escalated by feeds of famous front-
row attendees, thereby
hautes’ can essentially faces in TV, film and the social media’ planting in our minds
be defined in one, music business to ensure the key pieces of the
or all, of three ways: that their talent is seen in season. Indeed, the
1. The ‘I’m having what she’s having’ the hottest pieces so fans minute high-street labels
item. If a particularly stylish A-lister can copy the look. It creates buzz. spot a hit, their factories roll into action.
(cue the likes of Kate Moss, Cara And buzz creates sales. Here, we’ve tracked down seven key
Delevingne or Kendall Jenner) has A few years back, Kylie Minogue’s items from our favourite high-street
been spotted sporting it, expect fluid green Chloé dress resulted in players that we predict will be sell-outs.
a scrum trying to track it down. women raiding supermarket aisles up We’ve listed on-sale dates and tips on
2. The lookalike version of a fêted and down the country for Tesco’s F&F how to secure the object of your desire
catwalk must-have. The desire for said copy. Naturally, it was out of stock – ater all, we all need a little VIP
item is heightened by its presence on in days. More recently, online press treatment now and then, don’t we?
social media, magazines and blogs.
3. The style staple that boasts stunning
looks, covetability and a price tag that Fashion’s most-wanted sell-outs
Did you put your name on the waiting list for these must-haves?
dazzles us with ‘buy-me-nowness’. If
you’re fortunate enough to snap it
up and add it to your wardrobe, it
will be there for life.
It’s at this point that *holds hand up*
we, the fashion editors, are partly to
blame. We see pieces six months before
they hit the shops, and are the first to
pine for any lust-haves when we are
sent look books or attend the brand’s
press preview days. Before long, the PR
and marketing machine kicks into
action, then a frenzy of media love and
strategy will see hero pieces being
worn by influencers, and 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015
photographed in key publications. Kate Moss’s Mulberry Isabel Marant M&S pink Balmain X H&M
Remember that M&S ’70s-style Topshop Alexa bag wedged sneaker duster coat collection
tea dress If we couldn’t The trainer meets Proving pink The range sold
suede skirt that Alexa Chung wore?
Who didn’t stalk look like Alexa, the wedge… In isn’t just out in minutes
It boasted a waiting list of 800 people Ebay for this at least we theory? Just for Barbie last November.
in the first 24 hours and 4,500 sold beauty from her could buy her wrong. In reality? and Barbara Cue mass
in six weeks. Never mind that the first collection? namesake bag. A sell-out. Cartland. female weeping.
M&S
2THE
LEATHER
Price £199
On sale From February
WRAP Why will this sell out? An M&S
SKIRT spokesperson says, “This is
afordable luxury, and a stylish
move on from the pencil
style. The wrap skirt is an easy
wardrobe update that will take
you efortlessly into spring.”
Fans of the brand Alexa Chung,
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley,
Olivia Palermo, Holly
Willoughby and Zoe Hardman.
For us, this is the skirt of the
season. Two of the fashion
team have the release date
firmly in their diaries.
How to secure it Some of the
more special pieces only go to
limited stores, but everything
goes online and to London’s
Marble Arch store, so keep
stalking the site and the
Marble Arch branch.
ASOS Little Mix, Kate Hudson

Price £75 and Hailee Steinfeld.
On sale From March Why Cosmopolitan loves it
Why will this sell out? The Gucci S/S16 girl
Vanessa Spence, Asos is a crazy mash-up
womenswear design of print, texture and
director, says, “It starts colour. This Asos
with everyone in the version is a must-have
oice loving the product. for recreating this
It’s all about first
reactions and everyone
wanting it now.”
hot new trend.
How to secure it Follow
Asos’s social-media
3
THE ICE-
CREAM LACE
Fans of the brand Taylor channels to see exciting DRESS
Swit, Kendall Jenner, new products flagged
Beyoncé, Rebel Wilson, up as they hit the site. i
4
THE
STATEMENT
SUIT
RIVER ISLAND
Price Jacket, £65;
trousers, £45
On sale From 6 March
Why will this sell out? A
River Island spokesperson
says, “This had an amazing
reaction at our press day,
and we’re anticipating
a lot of customer interest.”
Fans of the brand Lucy Watson
and Ella Eyre.
The Gucci geek is one of our
biggest style inspirations for
S/S16 (see the Asos dress on
p53) so this printed suit is
a key player in recreating
that vibe. Wear separately,
or both elements together
if you’re feeling brave.
How to secure it Check the
site daily and always click
on the ‘just arrived’ section. i
TOPSHOP
Price £135
5
THE PRINTED
BLOUSE
On sale From 10 February
Why will this sell out?
Topshop says, “The image
of Bella Hadid wearing
this on the runway was
used all over the world.”
Fans of the brand Cara
Delevingne, Jourdan
D
Dunn and d Alexa
l a Chung.
Why Cosmopolitaan loves it
Don’t be deceeived by
7
this unassumingly
low-key blouse –
florals aree huge THIS
for S/S16. And a SEASON’S
SNEAKERS
welcome respite
from sum mmer’s
sugary briights.
How to sec ure it
Sign up too the
JIGSAW
personal shopping
Price £98
newsletterr on
On sale Following a pre-release
(now available online) they will
Topshop.com
hit stores in March.
to find out abou ut the
w of the
exclusive preview
Why will this sell out? According
to Shailina Parti, buying
Topshop Unique line.
director at Jigsaw, “Our
Ayda trainers sold out last
season in white and navy,
REISS and our new silver version
Price £110 is already selling out online
On sale From end of February before we drop them into
Why will this sell out? According our stores as metallic is such
ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, IMAXTREE, REX FEATURES, SOLO SYNDICATION

to Reiss, “Rich spice tones a huge trend this season.”
ofer a warm colour palette this Fans of the brand Sienna Miller
season. This mustard utilitarian- and fashion bloggers such as
style skirt has proved very Camilla Morton.
popular at our press previews.” Why Cosmopolitan loves them
Fans of the brand Olivia Palermo, Metallics are a huge summer
Taylor Swit, Jessica Alba and trend, especially worn as
Kate Middleton. day wear. These comfy
Why Cosmopolitan loves it trainers will up your style
This shade popped up at credentials and would suit
Kenzo, Jil Sander and Coach. a classic LBD, too.
6
The classic A-line style is so How to secure them Check the
versatile. And trust us, you website for product updates
can pull of mustard. THE DRESS-
(Jigsaw-online.com), or see
How to secure it This style will UP/DRESS-
DOWN
your local store manager,
feature in the online look book, SKIRT who will alert you when
so our top tip is to sign up to be they’ve arrived. Jigsaw staf
notified as soon as it hits stores. are nice like that. ◆
HEY, 3 TREAT IT
HOW DO MEAN…
Suede is always a dry-cleaning
afair. Short on money?
Treat it like a rug – beat it
I WEAR…
the suede dress?
out the window and let it
aerate for a few hours to get
rid of any lingering odours.
We know, we know –
a suede dress? In the
season of sideways rain?
Are we mad? No, just
fabulously on-trend…
4 HOT DAMN
This is suede… you will get
hot. Especially on dance
floors and running around
town. For this you will need
a slip, ideally one with Cool
1 FIND YOUR Comfort Technology™:
SHAPE Marks & Spencer can help
Sure, suede dresses can be you out there. Failing this,
shapeless and rigid, but not you can buy sweat pads
when you choose the right – pretty much sanitary
style for your figure. You’re towels for your pits, but
straight up and down? No efective at mopping up
problem. Go for a dress with errant moisture. Seriously,
fringing around your waist try them before you judge.
to create volume and shape.
More of a pear? Accentuate
your curves with a bodycon.
In perfect proportion? Take
your pick, damn you!
5 KEEP IT
DARK
Pale suede is never a good
idea, unless you want to be
on first-name terms with your
BY NATASHA MILES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY. STILL LIFES JODY TODD
dry cleaner. Dark is best – and
2 SPRAY AND for this season, the way to go.
DISPLAY If, however, you do go pale,
You know that suede cleaner you keep a small bottle of diluted
were talked into buying for your white vinegar in your bag.
shoes? Spray it over your suede dress It’ll tackle your most stubborn
every six months. (Test on the inside suede stains – and possibly
seam first!) And if you do get caught come in handy at the chippy.
in a downpour, blot your dress with
paper towels then let it dry at room
temperature. Do not apply heat,
repeat, do not apply heat – unless
you like the shrunken look.
4BUTTONED-UP
We love this look for day or night
– team with a neutral heel for
elongated legs. Copy Lilah and
wear a same-colour belt tied up
to accentuate your waist, or break
up the suede and go for leather.
Dress, £150, Asos. Shoes, £75, River
Island. Bag, £165, Russell & Bromley
Lilah Parsons
4SMOCK
You won’t be able to avoid the
suede smock this season. Deep
pockets work well to create
shape; pair with a rollneck knit
for an interesting texture mix.
Dress, £299, Boden. Jumper,
£175, Autumn Cashmere.
Boots, £90, Oice. Necklace,
£9.99, Rococo
PSST…
Jourdan Dunn
USE A SUEDE BRUSH
TO EASE AWAY
SPOT STAINS
4FRINGED
Ensure the fringing sits on the
most flattering part of your body
– this is where all eyes will travel.
And remember, maxi fringe on
forearms is for glam-rockers only.
Dress, £60, Lipsy. Jumper, £70,
French Connection. Shoes, £225,
Kim Kardashian
LK Bennett. Bag, £350, Mulberry ◆
£320, Very
Exclusive
TH
VIBRAN
IKE
A tough all-rounder, the
biker style gets a new 9, Guess at Fenwic
lease of life in
£279, Mint Velvet
£399, Gestuz at Asos
£79.99,
Stradivarius
OPOL
THE
EDIT
£399, Baukjen
£160, Lavish Alice
£199.99, H&M
£59.99, Bon Prix
£80, Levi’s
£649, Barbour
International
rig t, oxy i e? E I I E I
AIREY STEMP selects spring’s key jacket shapes
£64.99, New Look
TIP!
A coloured suede
jacket can be a
nightmare to keep
clean. If you discover
a mark, gently rub
with a clean eraser
£980, Rebecca to ease of the dirt.
Taylor Alternatively, a dab
£185, Topshop
£279, Mint Velvet of cream cleaner on
a paper towel can
do the trick. i
9, Twist & Tango
£49, Miss Selfridge

£65, Debenhams
THE
ZIP-FRONT
BOMBER
Ready for anything,
this sporty style is
your weekend
go-to.
£55 Asos
£170, Lacoste Live
£59, Indigo
£35, Missguided
OGRAPHS TRUNK ARCHIVE, CAMERA PRESS
£225, Needle & Thread
£149, Eleven Paris

TIP!
Layer up with a
fine-ribbed rollneck
sweater to beat
neck chills. £50, Simply Be
£160, French Connection
THE
SMART
THROW-ON
A cool blazer or
waterfall jacket is £51, Second
perfect for work Female
£195, Whistles
or play.
TIP!
Push up those sleeves
to just above the elbow
or roll them up to
reveal a pretty lining.
£58, Lavish Alice
£38, Oasis
£49, Curvissa
T N ·
C O S M O P O L I TA 65
YOUR NO–BS G HINGS BEAUTY
TAALK TO
THHE HANDS...
…B Because the face has
hadd quite enough attention
alre
eady. Our mitts have
finaally earned themselves
the diva treatment, with
a flurry of skin-perfecting
launches (we’re talking tinted
moisturisers and ‘facials’)
designed for below the
wrists only. “Hands get a
pretty hard time of it,” says
facialist Debbie Thomas,
who has just introduced a
hand-resurfacing treatment.
“They are constantly exposed
to ageing UV rays, plus
water, soap, chemicals and
pollution.” If your budget
doesn’t stretch to hand
facials (Debbie’s costs
£550!), we recommend
Alpha-H Protection Plus
Hand Cream, £35, for its
no-messin’ SPF50 and
flattering pink tint. Handy.
BY CASSIE POWNEY. PHOTOGRAPH TRUNK ARCHIVE
67
BETRAYAL?
With ethnic plastic surgery now a burning issue, Robyn Wilder
asks if we are chiselling away our cultural identities
I HAVE A
uneasy conversations about perceptions
of beauty and ethnic identity. There’s
oten an assumption that when
people from ethnic minorities have
surgery, they’re doing it to look more
VERY Western, whether it’s through Asian

blepharoplasty – a procedure that
adds an ‘extra’ eyelid to East Asian
eyes to make them look larger or
‘ETHNIC’ rounder – or the ethnic rhinoplasty

(nose job) I dreamt of as a teen. The
most infamous example is Michael
Jackson, who thinned his nose and
NOSE.
whitened his skin.
The rise of ethnic plastic surgery –
in the US it’s
Before
up 243% in the
It’s hard to say to past 15 years –
which ethnicity makes some Sharan admits she
now struggles with her
it belongs – I’m uncomfortable. choice to have surgery
a mixture of Many worry to reshape her nose
Mediterranean, that in trying
south Asian and to conform to a 22.“I instantly felt
northern European supposed universal more confident as
– but it doesn’t beauty standard a result,” she says.
Writer Robyn
has had a conform to the commonly As she got older,
complicated buttony Caucasian associated with however, Sharan
relationship
with her nose
‘ideal’. It’s long and
hooked, and ends in
white people –
large eyes, small After became aware
of how she’d
a bulbous tip that points sullenly at mouths, thin noses, succumbed to
my mouth like a fleshy arrow. ‘cute’ chins – surgeons are literally Western ideals of beauty.“I’d told
I’ve always hated it, and as a chiselling the race of people’s faces. myself that I needed to be accepted;
teenager at an all-girls school, But is it simplistic – not to say that it was important for me to
surrounded by willowy types with patronising – to assume that the ‘fit in’. When I removed a cultural
cute-as-a-button noses, it didn’t occur reason people are changing their characteristic from my face, I essentially
to me that my knobbly version was appearance is to be more Western? became more ‘appealing’. A small nose
part of my heritage; that generations For Sharan Dhaliwal, 31, a video is something we’ve been told is the
of proud Italian/French/Nepali producer from London, it was most desirable feature because white
relatives had nobly borne my wonky something that happened people tend to have smaller noses –
nose through history. To me it was subconsciously.“I inherited my they were essentially seen as the ideal.
just ugly, and I began saving up for mother’s hooked nose and hated it,” But having a nose of any other shape is
a nose job when I was 14: a prime she explains.“I was bullied at school, an important part of your identity.”
candidate for what’s known today outside of school; boys Sharan admits that she
as ‘ethnic plastic surgery’. would make jokes about now has mixed feelings
It’s an odd term. While it is a phrase it. It got to the point about her decision.“I
oten used by surgeons to describe any
cosmetic surgery for non-white people,
where my anxiety
intensified if I spotted
‘I’d told myself wouldn’t have had my
nose job if I’d realised
it also – more controversially – refers anyone looking at my that I needed I was conforming to
to cosmetic surgery to make non- profile.” The constant to be accepted ‘white’ standards of
white people look more Caucasian. jibes led to depression beauty – but I was a
A woman’s choice to have cosmetic and crippling anxiety,
for me to “fit in”’ vulnerable young Indian
surgery always provokes debate; add and Sharan opted for a woman struggling to
race into the equation and it sparks nose job when she was exist in a predominantly
white culture. I don’t feel less ethnic Credit Cards, And Our Quest For in 2014. “Globally, all ethnicities
now, but I’m aware that my ethnicity Perfection, she found they all had want cosmetic surgery,” says Dr Joshi.
was maybe more noticeable before.” something in common: “Non-white “Everyone is scrutinising themselves
Most of the surgeons who carry out women I interviewed were mostly more.” The truth is perhaps that we
these procedures insist that people’s doing it for the same reason as white all want to be ‘perfect’ versions
main motive for going under the women: to get a job, keep a job; get of ourselves – more symmetrical
knife is to look like a better version of a husband, keep a husband. They’re features isn’t just a Western ideal.
themselves. And while Harley Street convinced if they look better, this is But notions of what ‘looking better’
plastic surgeon Dr Julian de Silva has more likely.” Our desires for cosmetic means are changing. People have
seen an increase in requests for ethnic surgery are never ‘individual choices’, always turned to celebrities and
rhinoplasty and blepharoplasty in the but influenced by structures such as models for their beauty ideals, but, as
past year – now 30% of his patients gender, race and the economy. Women these figures become more diverse, so
request these niche procedures – he are investing in their future. does our idea of what is beautiful. In
argues that they do it to enhance, not More than 20 million plastic-surgery 2015, model Soo Joo Park – of Korean
blunt their existing ethnic features. procedures were performed worldwide heritage – became the first Asian-
“There’s no ‘one-surgery-fits-all’ American spokesmodel for L’Oréal
approach with ethnic rhinoplasty,” Paris, in the wake of Estée Lauder
he says. “What looks natural for one
ethnicity may look wrong on another. THE CHANGING signing Chinese model Liu Wen and
Maybelline hiring Shu Pei Qin. In
Generally, each patient wants a nose to
fit their ethnic characteristics. The best
FACE OF BEAUTY
Today’s hottest models owe their
a 2014 piece for New York magazine,
writer Maureen O’Connor described
results look as though the patient was “racially ambiguous” stars such as
born with the perfect nose for their face.
looks to their natural ethnic mix Jessica Alba and Kim Kardashian
“Similarly, the majority seeking as “avatars for post-racial beauty”.
cosmetic Asian blepharoplasty don’t The most popular plastic-surgery
want to look ‘Westernised’. Some may procedures today are a mix of beauty
find it diicult to see due to the extra ideals. There might still be a demand
sot tissue in their eyelid. Most want for wider eyes and thinner noses, but
to keep their ethnicity, but have more GIGI HADID features stereotypically associated
open eyes, with a natural-looking The model of the moment and face of with diferent races – such as fuller
eyelid crease.” In fact, many east Asians Topshop was born in California, but is lips and bigger bums – are now some
are born with an eyelid crease. It’s of Dutch and Palestinian descent. of the most requested. Transform,
‘Half-Palestinian and proud of it,’ she
attractive in that culture – regardless year
posted on Instagram last year.
which has 25 UK clinics, has seen
of whether Western people have it. a 54% increase in enquiries about
Eyelid surgery specialist Dr Naresh buttock implants over the past year
Joshi adds, “The most common requesst – “inspired by Kim and Khloé,” says
I get is, ‘I don’t have a space between its clinical director Mark Norfolk.
my eyelash and my fold to put my Ultimately, ethnic identity runs far
makeup on.’” When his patients bring deeper than your facial features. “I’ve
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, HEARST STUDIOS, ISTOCKPHOTO.COM
a picture of who they’d like to look like, started identifying with my culture a lot
IMAAN HAMMAM
it’s usually a celebrity from their own Raised in Amsterdam with a Moroccan
more,” says Sharan. “I’m more interested
culture. Occasionally a patient will mother and an Egyptian father, Imaan in Indian fashion, I speak to my family
bring in a picture of a Caucasian face – who’s shot for Givenchy – has praised in my mother tongue. My ethnicity
– but he’ll refuse to do it. “The problem the g
growingg diversity
y in fashion,, saying,
y g, isn’t just defined by my facial features,
is that you’ll look Chinese everywhere “The future is bright, full of colour.” but also by my social, political and
else but your eyelids, so the efect is cultural stance. Although I changed
a bit odd. It isn’t something I’d advise.” my nose, I still feel very Indian.”
The issue of ethnic plastic surgery While Sharan had surgery, I decided
involves more than just race, believes to live with my nose. I’m happy I did –
sociology and gender studies professor it’s intrinsically me. But had I opted for
Laurie Essig. When she interviewed HAILEY BALDWIN surgery, I’d have felt pretty patronised if
female plastic-surgery candidates for Daughter of actor Stephen Baldwin, someone told me I was relinquishing
her book American Plastic: Boob Jobs, Hailey’s mother Kennya is Brazilian – to my ethnicity by doing so. ◆
which she attributes her model looks,
tweeting, ‘Being half-Brazilian does well
for my skin tone thanks Ma.’ C O S M O P O L I TA N · 71
INGE HAS
ISSUES
Cosmopolitan’s Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN gets some things off her chest
We need to talk about... NICE PACKAGE!

THE A-CREAM I’m not one to be swayed by
packaging; I’d rather spend my
money on something that actually
If you’re interested in reversing the works. That said, these fancy-looking
signs of ageing (nod here, please) everyday essentials are making me
or keeping acne under control, clap like a seal with delight.
then retinol (from vitamin A) is
hands-down the best ingredient.
But it’s so unstable in UV light,
you can only use it at night –
and so irritating that even the
non-sensitive can have issues. Givenchy Hydra Sparkling Fresh
Milder retinol derivatives & Fast Masks, £39.50. Quenching
sheet masks with eye holes, in
have found themselves lacking
a resealable pack of 14. Nifty.
in efectiveness – until now. The
retinyl retinoate in Medik8 Kiko Pro Lip
r-Retinoate, £125, (available from Lipsticks, £8.90
March) is a retinol compound each. One swift
push of the button
that penetrates skin cells gradually releases the lipstick
and via a pathway that sidesteps tube with a neat
irritation. Yet clinical tests show click. The name’s
Bond, Jane Bond.
it to be more efective than high-
strength retinol, and impervious W7 Groovy Curls Eyelash Curlers,
Carrots: also
to breakdown in light. Call it the £4.95. Yeah, baby!
by! The
Th c es est lash
rich in vitamin
Holy Grail of face creams: one that lers h
have ever come to bein ’.
A; less effective
on your face works, with no side efects. I have
my skin to prove it.
PERSONAL SHOPPER
OBSESSED IMPRESSED NON-PLUSSED

✱ Ameliorate Skin Sotening ✱ Chanel Les Beiges ✱ Illamasqua Corruptor, £20
Bathing Powder, £23.50 Healthy Glow A clear gel that, wait for it…
PHOTOGRAPHS SHUTTERSTOCK
With powdered oats and almond Foundation, £36 ‘poetically distorts makeup’.
oil, it sounds like Applied with fingers, Cute and creative it may be,
breakfast, but its slightly-beyond- but it’s nothing a
it’s seriously tinted-moisturiser simple dab
soothing for coverage is curing my of Vaseline
parched skin. fear of foundation. couldn’t manage.
Dr Nick Lowe Acclenz Purify &
Renew Foaming Cleanser, £35
Containing pore-clearing
salicylic acid, plus niacinamide
BEAUTY
to calm and repair, you’re
in good hands with this
creamy foam. Its no-nonsense
LAB
ingredients left my skin feeling
clean but not dried out –
no surprise, considering the
respected dermatologist
behind the brand.
Sanctuary Spa 5 Minute

Thermal Detox Mask, £10
I love a self-warming face
mask. The heat opens pores,
allowing charcoal and kaolin
to draw out impurities, and
it stays wet for the full five
minutes, so you don’t get
Skin purifiers
that tight, cracking sensation.
My skin looked happier and
my shoulders dropped.
Want to drag those nasties

kicking and screaming from
your skin? Beauty Editor
CASSIE POWNEY meets your Merumaya Mud
personal security team Marvels Mask, £19.50
Activated charcoal
and volcanic ash
Editor’s work together to

extract pore-lurking
pick impurities from

PHOTOGRAPH ANTONIO TERRON/FOLIO-ID.COM
the skin. Mine was

L Roche-Posay
La unmistakably glowy
Zo Skin Health By Zein after use, which
Effaclar Clarifying
E
Obagi Offects Sulfur I put down to the
Lotion, £11
Masque, £34 dead-skin-cell-
t again proving the
This made my skin tingle exterminating alpha
rand’s spot-fighting
but wasn’t irritating at all. hydroxy acids and
p owess, this quick-
The sulfur acts as a mild nourishing oils.
an easy lotion
antiseptic and dead skin
cle d a shocking
clearer – promising as a
am t of dirt
twice-a-week treatment
from my skin after
for acne-prone skin, but
ansing, and left it
I’d only use it sporadically.
l ng as smooth as
if just exfoliated.
75
BEST
HACKS
EVER
Save time, money and
your sanity with these
genius shortcuts – we’ve
tested them all, and we’re
basically obsessed
Sanitise brushes in seconds
Forget special cleaners –
instead, once a week, swirl
your makeup brushes
into a wet bar of antibacterial soap.
Rinse with cool water, and prop them
on the edge of a tray, so they dry at
an angle, bristles down.
Lock down eyeshadow

Before applying shadow, fill
your eyelids with matching
pencil, advises Sir John,
celeb makeup artist for L’Oréal Paris.
The waxy base grips shadow and
intensifies colour.
Revive dried-out mascara
Add five drops of saline
solution (the type used (eg, in Eucerin Hyaluron-Filler
for contact lenses), shake, Eye Cream, £22) are amazing
then warm the tube with a blow- at plumping away crow’s-feet –
dryer for 30 seconds to emulsify, and maximising your pout.
says Benjamin Ruiz, director of global
creative artistry for Laura Mercier. Thicken your hair
Brow powder is designed
Prevent polish stains to stick to hairs – exactly
Trace nails with cuticle oil why many pros use it to
before removing polish. The fatten up a thin part of an uneven
barrier prevents colour from hairline, says makeup artist Dean
staining skin, says Michelle Saunders, Fournier. Swirl it on sparse spots
celebrity manicurist for Essie. with a flufy eyeshadow brush.
Score endless shades of lipstick Get beachy waves in 60 seconds

Good news for your beauty- Create four basic plaits
junk drawer: eyeshadow (two in the front, two
plus petroleum jelly equals in the back), then run
the perfect DIY lipstick. Just scrape some straightening irons down
a bit of shadow of the top and mix. the lengths of each, says Timothy
Brad Wandrey, senior stylist at NYC’s
Get a clean smoky eye Cutler Salons. Unweave when cool,
Before you start, pop on a and scrunch in sea-salt spray.
pair of under-eye treatment
patches (try Skyn Iceland Contour flawlessly
Hydro Cool Firming Eye Gels, £25). Get sky-high cheekbones
BY LAUREN BALSAMO. EDITED BY LEAH WYAR. PHOTOGRAPH JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D. STYLING ALLIE KIRCHER
They’ll catch any crumbles of powder by using a nude blush – not
and hydrate and depuf skin. bronzer – a few shades darker
than your skin. Blush lacks bronzer’s
Give bobby pins grip warm, orange undertones, creating
Before sticking them into a more believable illusion of depth
your style, mist with a and hollowness. Our go-to: Dior
generous coat of aerosol Diorblush in Mimi Bronze, £31.
hairspray for non-slip staying power.
Save £££s on sheet masks
Blush before base Ater removing one from its
IMAGE CAPTION: GIORGIO ARMANI MAESTRO BLENDER BRUSH 04, £60

To avoid an OTT flush, packet, pour any remaining
sweep on blush first, serum into a zip-top bag.
then tap your favourite Use the mask on clean, just-washed
liquid or powder foundation on top skin, then fold it up, place it in the
for a subtle glow that’s instantly bag and store it in the fridge for next
blended, says Victor Cembellin, time. (Use it within one week.)
senior artist for Mac Cosmetics.
Steam off your falsies
Plump lips instantly Fill a bowl with hot water,
Got eye cream? Then you’ve then cover your head with
got lip plumper. Those a towel and perch over the
made with hyaluronic acid steam (or just run a hot shower and
hang) to loosen the glue. Result:
lashes that peel right of. ◆
WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER…
FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

Ever rolled your eyes at the expression,
‘It’s not what you know, but who’? Well, a
new study from the University of California
confirms that it’s true – with women
benefiting more than men from rubbing
shoulders with the top dogs. How to find
a mentor that’s mutually beneficial? (And
no, not in that sense…) Penny Davenport,
business coach and career mentor,
recommends the ‘Plus 10’ method: identify
the person whose career you want in 10
years’ time. Ask yourself what you can do
for them before making your approach. Fun
fact: most senior members of management
respond well to technical support and tea.
BY JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH DENNIS PEDERSEN. WITH THANKS TO PENNYDAVENPORT.CO.UK AND ROCKSTARGROUP.CO.UK
TREAT
YOUR
CAREER
LIKE A
With a globally recognised alter ego – Sex And The City’s
Carrie Bradshaw – best-selling novelist, writer and TV
producer CANDACE BUSHNELL, 57, has the winning
formula for creating (and keeping) a glittering 9 to 5…
M
ost people don’t want success badly enough
Not everybody wants to be a superstar or CEO
and that’s OK. But if you really do want to be
terribly attractive to say, ‘Hey, I’m doing
this for the money’. But men have no
problem saying that. It’s really important
SELF
the best in your field, you have to exercise
discipline, strength of mind and the ability
as a woman to earn your own money. It’s
very, very hard to be a grown-up otherwise.
MADE
to withstand rejection every single day. ³Exercise your brain
³There are no shortcuts I recommend that to everybody – always
Getting ahead is about dotting your ‘i’s and crossing your read, and keep up with whatever news or innovation is
‘t’s. Whatever your job, strive to be the best at all tasks – happening in your field. If you want to think outside the
no matter how small. My boss at Ladies’ Home Journal in the box, you need to have experiences outside the box. Step away
’80s used to ask me to sharpen his pencils every morning. from your work by going for a walk or reading a novel. Do
I laboured over it, and he’d praise me for being the ‘best something that actively engages your brain, as opposed to
pencil sharpener he’d had’. That kind of drive is more rare. sitting passively and watching TV. On-screen entertainment
But if you can’t show you can complete a small task perfectly, is just thrown at you – your mind isn’t being challenged.
why would they know how you’d manage a larger task? ³Relish each life stage
³Chase your career like a relationship Success happens in stages – when you’re in your twenties,
I wish I’d been told in my twenties to worry less about you’re still learning and exploring yourself. In your thirties,
men and relationships, and to worry more about my you probably have 10 years’ worth of experience under
career. The pursuit of a partner can become an addiction your belt – and that gives you a kind of authority. A lot
for women and it’s something a lot of us instinctively of women don’t become very successful until their forties,
prioritise. Take those same impulses – time, commitment and that’s because they’ve been working for 20 years.
and determination – and make them the cornerstones Part of winning is being patient and paying your dues.
of your career. ³Be a self-starter
³Wait before reacting Because I work alone, I have to find inspiration every day.
If something upsets you, or you feel criticised, the best My approach is to just get up, sit in front of the computer
thing to do is to let it sit for a while – oten one’s reaction and start getting on with it – the most important thing,
has more to do with something personal than what’s really though, is to put in the time. I spend five to six hours a day
happening. In my early twenties I was a staf writer at Self writing, but when I’m nearing the end of a book and it’s
AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS AARON STERN, THE TIMES/NEWS SYNDICATION, LANDMARK MEDIA, ALLSTAR
magazine and whenever an article I’d written came back gaining momentum, I can easily work for up to 12 hours
covered in red pen, it felt like a slap. I’d have to go outside straight. Readers all bring their own experiences to a book
and take a walk around the block. But you get better at and you can’t please everybody, so I try to write the best
dealing with those feelings as you get older – in your book I can write. That’s all one can ever do – try your best. ◆
twenties everything is a big deal.
³Logic is power CANDACE’S CV
No matter what line of work you’re in,
success is a pattern you develop. Although 1977 Aged 19, moved to
New York City, wrote a
writing novels requires me to be very creative,
children’s book that was
it’s also an organised process, and being able never published
to apply rational thinking is key for nailing
the plot – one idea must lead to another 1994–1996 Started writing
in a coherent way. I need to organise my Sex And The City column for
the New York Observer
thoughts on the page neatly. My father is
a rocket scientist, so that kind of thinking 1995 Column adapted into ABOVE: Candace’s
has always been instilled in me. a book and in 1996 sold to column Sex And
³Learn to handle money HBO. The series ran for six The City led to
Maths is something women oten shy away years and spawned two films a Hollywood film
starring Sarah
from, but shouldn’t – even if it’s just the Jessica Parker.
1996–2012 Wrote seven
ability to balance your own bank account. best-selling novels including LEFT: Her book
The point of any business is to make a profit The Carrie Diaries, One Fifth The Carrie Diaries
was made into
and if you’re not helping your company do o Avenue an
and Lipstick Jungle
a spin-off series
that, you’re probably not doing your job on HBO in 2013
2015: Her latest
properly. People who understand that gett novel, Killing
a bit of a leg-up. Women think it’s not Monica is published
“What do you
mean I was meant
to be in the oice
an hour ago?”
1 Water works
“As soon as I wake up, I try to
drink a litre of water. Ater a night’s
sleep I’m dehydrated, and it’s a really
easy way to get everything moving
the way it should.”
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY,
MODEL AND ACTRESS
2 Take a deep breath

“A big part of my morning ritual
is about what I don’t do. When I wake
up, I don’t start the day by looking
GET UP, GET OUT

at my smartphone. Instead, I take a
minute to breathe deeply, be grateful
and set my intentions for the day.”
ARIANNA HUFFINGTON,
CO-FOUNDER AND EDITOR-IN-CHIEF,
AND GET ON… 3

THE HUFFINGTON POST
Enjoy the journey

“I get up between 6.30AM and
7.30AM. I’m learning German, so
I spend my 30-minute morning
Ever wondered how successful women get to the top of their commute on the language-learning
game? It’s all about making those early mornings count… app Memrise. My journey to work
is a little pocket of personal time
when I’m not expected to be doing
anything else, so I’m free to do
something I enjoy.”
more sense before external pressures
begin to interfere!”
KATE UNSWORTH, FOUNDER AND CEO OF
10 Up and at ’em
“My morning routine consists
of lightning-speed dressing… I can
EMILY ATKINSON, DEVELOPER AT RESEARCH AND DESIGN HOUSE, VINAYA be out the door in 15 minutes.”
MOO AND CO-MANAGING DIRECTOR, KATHRYN PARSONS, CO-FOUNDER
GIRLS IN TECH UK
7 Radio days
“My day starts at 7AM listening to
AND CO-CEO, DECODED
4 Shun your smartphone

“About two years ago, I made
the decision not to be a slave to my
the news on Radio 4. My grandfather
is a radio presenter, so I grew up in
a family where the radio was always
11 On your bike
“I enjoy a peaceful breakfast
with my kids and then hop on my
phone, so I don’t go near it until I’m on, and it’s a tradition I’ve kept. The bicycle and head to work. I love the
ready to oicially start my working radio helps me zone out and reserve fresh air in the morning, and the
day, at 8.30AM – two hours ater the morning for my own thoughts, ride through the city is invigorating.
I wake up. I also charge it in the spare rather than work-related ones, which It helps me clear my head and
room, so I’m not tempted to reply to kick in as soon as I walk prepare for the day
emails or scroll through social-media through the oice door.” ahead. Once I’m at the
sites in the middle of the night.” BRIE ROGERS LOWERY, oice, I’m busy. I’m in
MARISSA CARTER, CEO, COCOA
BROWN TANNING RANGE
CHANGE.ORG UK COUNTRY
DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY
‘I charge my meetings, taking calls
and speaking with
MD, EUROPE phone in the people the entire day.”
5 Just walking the dog

“Ater a strong cup of builder’s tea
at 6.30AM, which my husband brings 8 Sweet start
“The one thing I do
spare room so
I can’t look at
GILLIAN TANS, PRESIDENT,
BOOKING.COM
it first thing’
to me in bed (we’ve been married 30
years and he never forgets), I take my
border terrier, Teri, for a walk. It’s one
in the morning to be
successful is eat a packet
of Wine Gums – because
12 Try a to-do list
“I wake up and
make a list – thoughts
of the only quiet moments I have, they’re the breakfast I’ve had or things
so I use the time to think about the of champions.” I need to do. I write them down
things I need to do that day.” JAMEELA JAMIL, PRESENTER AND MODEL straight away. Then it’s protein
JO MALONE MBE, FOUNDER AND for breakfast – eggs or avocado.”
BY HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPHS ROBERT ERDMANN/AUGUST. WHAT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO BEFORE
BREAKFAST: HOW TO ACHIEVE MORE AT WORK AND AT HOME BY LAURA VANDERKAM (£8.99, PORTFOLIO PENGUIN)
CREATIVE DIRECTOR, JOLOVES.COM

9 Early to bed, early to rise
“I’m freshest in the morning, and
MILLIE MACKINTOSH, LIFESTYLE
ENTREPRENEUR AND FORMER
6 Make time to meditate

“I get up at 6AM and have
my first hour of consciousness is my
most productive. I wake at 5.30AM,
MADE IN CHELSEA STAR
two hours of ‘goddess time’ before

I start work. This usually involves
making a pot of tea, lighting candles
make a cup of tea and do an hour
and a half of work in my pyjamas
before I shower. I try to get to bed by
13 Straight to work
“I don’t usually have breakfast;
I can’t be bothered. I start the day by
and meditating for 20 minutes. 10.30PM at the latest to make those going through emails and making
I then pour my mind into my early mornings less of a struggle…” calls; sometimes I do it in bed.”
journal. Everything seems to make EMILY BENDELL, CEO, BLUEBELLA KARREN BRADY, CBE, BUSINESSWOMAN
…AND THE SUPER-EARLY RISERS

These power players achieve so much pre-dawn, we’re tired just reading…
4am 5am 6am
MICHELLE OBAMA, ANNA WINTOUR, VICTORIA BECKHAM,
THE FIRST LADY EDITOR-IN-CHIEF FASHION DESIGNER
Michelle wakes at 4.30AM OF US VOGUE Victoria rises at 6.15AM so
every day for a gym session The alarm goes of at she can do 45 minutes of
with Barack. “I usually get 5.45AM so the editrix can work before waking her
to the gym before him. play an hour of tennis kids. “Between showering
We watch SportsCenter before her hairdresser and washing my face, I’m
and catch up.” Respect. does her daily blow-dry. checking emails.” ◆
STRETCH YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND...
PARTICIPATION IN NOVEL AND AROUSING ACTIVITIES AND EXPERIENCED RELATIONSHIP QUALITY BY ARON, ARON, NORMAN, McKENNA AND HEYMAN
BY HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPH LEO ACKER. TRAINERS, BOTH NIKE (AVAILABLE AT JD SPORTS). *FROM THE STUDY COUPLES’ SHARED
THE COUPLE WHO TRAIN TOGETHER…

You’re dressed in Lycra, your face is puce and beads of sweat are dripping down your cleavage. As you pummel
a boxing bag, your other half looks on. He’s drenched too. It’s date night – sort of. We’re talking ‘couples exercise’,
a new initiative from London fitness studio 1Rebel. ‘This is the only type of couples therapy you need,’ its website
declares. ‘Blood, sweat and tears, with your nearest and dearest.’ It could have a point: research by Virgin Active
found that 64% of women who exercise with someone else rather than alone push themselves harder and burn
a sixth more calories. And the Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology reported that couples who engage in
physical challenges together feel more satisfied with their relationships. Just avoid matching gym gear, please…
88
· C O S M O P O L I TA N
The man paid to get Victoria s ecret
Angels in shape does the same for you
TIP
Allow two to three
seconds’ rest between
combos in order to
reset and breathe.
No more than
that, though
– we’re
watching
you!
If we say boxing n you say…

Rocky, then it’s ti e to get with
the prog amme – li r y
Shadow xing (no g v uir )
is the hot ew way to g pe,
ombi ing igh impa r c
se enc s wi m s e- ve
Vic ia’s cre mo L y
Adri Li m at NYC’s ox
– and ess what? We got ts star tr ner Ray
ntalvo to devise a plan just for you.
ROUND1 2
RROUND3
Ado th o in stance; ur stronger leg behind you 1 Near ther ! Now – back in boxing stanc – for the final
nd feet sli tl more than hip p-width apart. Then jab, ccombo you’r go ng to ab and cross non- t p. Start stea ,
b, cros , duck and then fi ishh of with another c oss. then radual u the ce, throwin ou hole body into
A tive est: 1 minute of s att jumps now, please as eeach
ach cross. Your shoulder should be mi forward.
gh and low as you can go, tto
o kee
k th
thatt b
bottom
tt rk
k 2 Active Rest: An entire minute of bu ees. Give this eve
last ounce of energy you have let.
1
1
ROUND2 1
K ack into KEYY
xi stance an nd…
JAB Punch you ur front arm 2
b, c ss, hook,
straight aheadd sha It
ppe ut, upperccut.
should be fully outstretched.
o
oxi is a full body
CROSS Punch the other arm
orkout, so while at
ward to cros ast ur
st it may feel as if
jab hand. This would
w be your
u arms are do oingg
knockout arm m (imagine
l t e ard work k,
an ex-boyfriend
t e nd you’ll feel
he arm across
it v here
at a 90 d ree angle.
ve rest: 1 inu
nuute
ute
UPPERCUT Arm A should
push-ups… (who o
2 travel straight up.
u If you had
id it’d be e y?).
an onent ou would hit
ake sure r nosse
the chin. Alo with the
azes the flo r but
cross this is a power
p punch.
n’t let thos bs
K A d p squat as if
C O S M O P O L I TA N ·
anywhere ne t.
you’re avoidin ng a punch
PHOTOGRAPH MARTIN RUSCH/FOLIO-ID.COM. ILLUSTRATIONS LIZZY THOMAS
89
flying over the top of you. X
… I’m an all-natural woman, says EMMA WEBLEY,
25, a management consultant from London
’ve always been curvy. I went through puberty a
I lot earlier than my friends and, at nine, was the

first in my class to get a bra. It set me apart as
‘diferent’, so I did my best to hide it.
It was hard, especially when all I wanted to do was fit in, but
BY HAYLEY THOMPSON AND HARRIET THURLEY. EMMA CAME IN THE TOP 10 OF LINGERIE BRAND CURVY KATE’S ‘STAR IN A BRA’ COMPETITION
that changed when I was 13 and I moved to senior school. It

was a new beginning, and I’d also had time to grow into myself.
I’d accepted I was never going to look like Elle Macpherson.
My upbringing helped. There are a lot of strong women in
my family – my mum, aunties, grandma and cousins – and they
always enforced a, ‘Don’t be thinner, be healthier,’ mantra. They
never made me feel under pressure to adhere to a certain look,
and I realised being diferent isn’t such a bad thing.
As a result, I’ve been body-confident most of my life, and it’s
refreshing. I never hide when I’m changing at the gym or getting
ready for a night out with friends. It’s a shame when people
think they have to cover up; it shows they have low self-esteem.
I try to be a good role model for my younger half-siblings
too. I want them to know you don’t need to worry about the
way you look. Today, it’s so easy to agonise over yourself,
especially comparing yourself with other women on
Instagram. But there’s no point doing that or striving for
‘perfection’, because in my opinion ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.
You’re already your own amazing self.
I know that a lot of people struggle with their image, but
being confident and happy is what the world notices, not your
shape. I’d say my smile is as big an asset
4 For more as my boobs – the same breasts I hated
feel-good
inspiration, go to
growing up. But I’m an all-natural, 34K,
Cosmopolitan. curvaceous, size 14-16 woman – and
co.uk/body proud to love every inch.
MEET THE
HOT-BODY
HIGH
Think you don’t have time
to hit the gym? MARK BAILEY
reports on the FTSE 100
hotshots who see exercise as
essential to their success…
FLIERS...
Exercise-appropriate
workout gear?
We think not
A t 6AM, much of London
is still asleep. But as the lights stretching
into the distance begin to blink on,
Lindsay Noton, 32, pounds the streets
around the River Thames. Her Nike
gear is artfully coordinated with her
Mizuno trainers – which saw her
breeze through the Paris Marathon last
year – while her high-tempo playlist is
designed to help her attain her running
target of 25 miles per week at exactly
the right pace. At the weekend, she’ll
hit the gym by 8AM for some TRX
training, Power Plate sessions and
GRIT Strength classes that, she says,
are essential for her success at work.
Not that Lindsay’s job is physical.
As head of corporate communications
at Hammerson, a FTSE 100 property
development and investment company,
she uses her morning workouts to
plan for a hectic day in the oice.
“My motivation is to stay fit and
reduce stress,” she says. “Ater exercising,
I feel more focused and have more
energy. Running gives me space to
contemplate tricky work issues. It’s
the best possible start to my day.”
“Note to self: buy
Lindsay is not alone: when dumbbells that
Cosmopolitan asked a rat of successful match nail varnish”
businesswomen – made up of directors
and executives at FTSE 100 companies,
and nominees for Management Today’s 9% more than their sedentary peers Company and a 35 Women Under 35
35 Women Under 35 awards – about (an extra year of education yields a 6% award winner. “I practise visualisation,
their exercise habits, we discovered pay rise, suggesting regular exercise focusing on the outcome of a meeting
they cracked the fitness-fortune code is financially more rewarding than an and the things I’ll say to close a deal.
long ago. The majority work out for MA). Exercise has been shown to boost In nearly every case, what I visualise on
health reasons, but all believe their oxygen flow to the brain and enhance the treadmill happens – I swear by it.”
work performance is enhanced, too – neural circuits – and scientists at the Professor Greg Whyte, director of
and that if you want an uplit in your University of Pittsburgh discovered the Centre for Health and Human
energy, productivity, creativity and it actually increases grey matter in the Performance, believes exercise fosters
mood, you have to get moving. thinking and decision-making areas. the can-do mindset that fuels success.
“I use running as a way of mentally “Exercise involves setting goals,
You want to… BAG A PROMOTION preparing for big meetings,” explains making progressive improvements,
Striking data in the US Journal Of Labor Natalie Campbell, 31, co-founder of committing, pushing limits and
Research showed regular exercisers earn social-innovation firm A Very Good managing your time – there’s an i
FIT FOR
obvious crossover between the
gym and the boardroom,” he says.
state) associated with
stress, so try a steady PURPOSE actually the complete
opposite,” says
The exercise for you Try classes with 30-minute jog. Cycling Of our 36 high- Professor McKenna.
workmates. A study by the University has also been found flying women… “Ater exercise, there’s
of Oxford reinforced the links to boost mood – just a three-hour window
between social bonding and exercise 15 minutes on a … 51% exercise alone; 18% when your mood and
– just make sure your gym kit is stationary bike leads choose group activities energy levels soar.”
colleague-appropriate. Micro-leggings to increased mental and 31% enjoy a mix of The exercise for you A
and a bra top are possibly not the best arousal and a more
solo and group training 45-minute blast on the
look in front of your line manager. positive mood, says treadmill. A UK study
… 39% use a personal
a study by Stanford in the International
trainer
You want to… DE-STRESS University in the US. Journal Of Workplace
Most of the women who took our … 63% run regularly Health Management
survey agree that working out helps You want to… proved it makes oice
them beat stress, with nearly half doing MAXIMISE YOUR … 46% swear by workers 41% more
so specifically for this reason and ENERGY RESERVES weight-training motivated and 22%
more than half enjoying more positive You might assume more likely to finish
moods as a welcome side efect. exercise comes at the … 43% attend their work on time.
Christine Dufy, president of bottom of these high- cardio sessions
Carnival Cruise Line, oversees 43,000 achievers’ crazy to-do You want to…
employees and a revenue stream of lists. So where does … 34% make regular BOOST YOUR
£7bn. She trains four to five hours their energy come walks a priority CREATIVITY
every week, mixing weights, cardio from? Irina Haivas, It’s not just number
training and yoga. “I’ve just returned 34, is principal of … 40% do yoga and crunchers who benefit
from a spa in Utah – dedicating some healthcare investment Pilates classes – sweating gets your
time to relaxing and recharging is so firm GHO Capital and creative juices flowing,
rejuvenating, and there’s no question can be regularly found Average time spent too. For Annabel
that it helps alleviate stress. I find it dashing out of her working out: 4.5- Kilner, 34, UK
boosts me spiritually, too,” she says. oice to fit in a gym
5 hours a week manager for furniture
She’s bang on. Exercise releases session before dinner. brand Made.com,
the neurotransmitter noradrenaline On other days she enjoys spin classes, exercising three or four times a week
into the brain, which helps manage yoga or dance workouts – but instead inspires new solutions. And, between
stress – and research by Jim McKenna, of wearing her out, it helps her to 2013-14, she helped to boost turnover
professor of physical activity and health manage investments worth £300m. from £26.2m to £42.7m.
at Leeds Beckett University, has shown “I exercise to stay healthy, and to “I don’t track distances when I run –
79% of oice workers enjoy smoother look and feel good,” she explains. “I get I let my brain relax and work through
interactions with their colleagues on a positive outlook on work challenges, problems,” she says. “I oten run really
days they exercise. “The prefrontal a clearer mind and better focus. If slowly because I’m so busy thinking.”
cortex – your logical, thinking brain I don’t exercise, I feel it.” Irina views Of the women we approached,
– is easily overloaded, but when you exercise not as an indulgence, but as almost a third felt exercise enhanced
exercise, it recharges,” he says. “So, back a pillar of her professional success – as their creativity, and Professor PHOTOGRAPHS TRUNKARCHIVE.COM, THE LICENSING PROJECT
at your desk, your logical do the two thirds of the McKenna agrees. “Our brains are
brain fires up, and you 36 women we spoke designed to make new connections as
find it easier to ignore the to who also experience we move. In evolutionary terms, there’s
emotions that take over more of a physical boost quite a strong link between movement
during stressful times.” ‘There’s a three- ater exercise. This could and thinking, which is why you
The exercise for you
A study by a team at
hour window be down to the fact it
increases the number
get good ideas when you exercise.”
The exercise for you A study at Rhode
University College when your of mitochondria, the Island College proved creativity stays
London showed gentle energy soars’ powerhouses in your high two hours ater jogging, climbing
cardio exercise slashes key cells that produce energy. stairs or swimming – so get a sweat on
biomarkers (clues about “People think exercise before brainstorm meetings. Just make
your body’s physical saps your energy, but it’s sure you have some wet wipes handy. ◆
BEWARE THE
CAMEL TOE
Because nobody wants to look
as though they’ve got a Big Mac
at the top of their thighs, you need
to seek out leggings with a
padded, seamless crotch.
£49.21, Victoria’s Secret
£70, Sweaty Betty
BUNS OF
MAIN IMAGE, LEFT: BRA, £61; LEGGINGS, £127, BOTH WE ARE HANDSOME. TRAINERS, MODEL’S OWN. RIGHT: BRA, £61; LEGGINGS, £127, BOTH WE ARE
STYLE
HANDSOME. TRAINERS, MODEL’S OWN. FASHION SOPHIE DEARDEN. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS. *BY COSMOPOLITAN HQ
£55, Björn Borg Studies* show your level of exertion during exercise is
in direct proportion to the style credentials of your
leggings.
l Here are 12 pairs that should get you moving
£34.99, Adidas
£80, Ana Heart £75, Varley
£26, Forever 21
£26,
£26 Adidas
£26, Only Play
at Zalando
£70, Sweaty Betty
ORANGE
SQUASH
A knockout bag stands
out even more in a
punchy shade. Think:
orange, pomegranate or
grapefruit. We especially
love this head-to-toe
citrus effect.
Dress, £225, Sonia Rykiel.
Shoes £425; bag, £1,595,
both Christian Louboutin.
Sunglasses, £280, Napsvgar
THE HANDBAG HUNT
Up your fashion credentials by seeking out the sleekest totes,
pochettes and bucket bags. Arms at the ready...
F A S H I O N Sairey Stemp P H O T O G R A P H S Tony Kelly
GRAB BAG
It’s big, it’s bold and it’s as structured as a Savile Row suit. If you
want to make an impact, this is the slickest mini-pochette with which to do it.
Bag, £945, Paula Cademartori i
101
M AT C H F I T
Put this floral-appliqué bucket bag at the top of your spring/summer
wish list. And while we usually leave matching your shoes to your bag to
the Middleton sisters, this combo is just mad enough to work.
Shoes, £540, and bag, £4,400, both Dior
COOL HUE
There are blues and
then there is cobalt
blue – it’s the most
eye-popping shade in
the spectrum. With a
colour this on-trend,
keep your shape classic.
Bag, £695, Mulberry.
Sunglasses, £354,
Thierry Lasry i
103
SHINE
BRIGHT
Too old for a pink
handbag, you say? Not
this one. The iridescent
crackle effect gives
this sugary shade
major attitude.
Dress, £385; bag, £290
both Longchamp.
Sunglasses, £180,
Westward Leaning
R O U G H A N D R E A DY
If you love vintage Americana, you’ll love this denim
chain-strap wonder. Perfect worn with your favourite blue jeans
or, in this instance, a flash of denim shirt dress.
Dress, £135; shoes, £155; bag, £240, all Michael Michael Kors i
105
I T WA S A L L Y E L L O W…
This lemony zinger of a mini-tote is just the right size for all your essentials.
Not a fan of yellow? Tough. It’s the colour of the season.
Swimsuit, £39, Boohoo. Bag, £220, Coach at Monnier Frères.
Sunglasses, £354, Thierry Lasry
106
L I P -SY N C
Stash your makeup in
Lulu Guinness’s
ultimate clutch. Even
better, match your lip
colour to your handbag.
L’Oréal Extraordinaire
by Colour Riche in
Plum Adagio gets our
juices flowing.
Clutch, £350,
Lulu Guinness i
107
W I N E-S TA I N E D
If you’re over black, still confused by navy and find grey a little too
primary-school, then a deep, sleek burgundy is what you need this season.
Do a tote for daytime or a box bag for evening.
Swimsuit, as before. Sunglasses, £233, Oliver Peoples at Selfridges.
Quilted bag, £1,540, Chanel. Tote bag, £750, Sophie Hulme
108
D E S E R T-
ISLAND
WONDER
For your own piece of
tropical paradise, this
palm-print mini-bag is
just the ticket. The
beauty is in its boldness,
so keep everything else
pared down.
Bag, £50, Pia. Sunglasses,
£225, Andy Wolf
Hair and makeup Stacy

Skinner at Grid Agency,
using Laura Mercier.
Model Sydney Roper at
Photogenics, Los Angeles.
Fashion assistant Natasha
Miles. Shot on location at
Sonesta Ocean Point and
Sonesta Maho Beach
Resort in St Maarten
(Sonesta.com/stmaarten)
You’re excluded from
the ‘night out?’
WhatsApp group
She unfriends you
on Facebook
She leaves snide

comments under your
She publicly Instagram posts
ignores your Tweet
READ
Public shaming and social humiliation…

the way some women now fight online is
actually more painful than the punches thrown
by men (and there’s science to prove it). Here’s
how to arm yourself… W O R D S Will Storr
ou have been removed
from the group.’ As the
words blinked on to
the screen of Laura’s*
iPhone, she felt it like a punch to the
gut. “I’d worked with Charlotte* for a
few years,” says 32-year-old copywriter
Laura. “But ater I couldn’t attend the
surprise dinner she was hosting for
her fiancé, she ditched all digital
contact with me.” As well as being
removed from various WhatsApp
groups and shunned on Twitter, Laura
soon realised she was being cast out
from social gatherings too. “I started
noticing pictures on Facebook of my
colleagues on nights out. I just hadn’t
been invited,” she recalls.
As well as being confused and hurt,
it was the humiliation that smacked
the hardest. “I felt like a five-year-old
again, being told I couldn’t play
hopscotch with the other kids in the
school playground. But the worst
thing was that this was all happening
on a public forum, and others could
see my pain simply by scrolling
through their social-media feeds.”
Things came to a head when Laura
discovered (via some not-so-subtle
Facebook posts) that she hadn’t been
invited to Charlotte’s work hen do. “I
was in tears, but my embarrassment
soon turned to anger,” she says. “ ‘Why
is this happening?’ I wondered. ‘And Flaming Nora: now
an online sport
why is it getting to me so much?’”
READ
While there are no punches thrown, feelings of anxiety and depression

no eyes gouged or hair pulled in ater being socially excluded by her
emotional ordeals like this, they can colleague, Lisa Bird. She subsequently
still leave us feeling battered and won a landmark case in which it
bruised on the inside. And while some was accepted that her colleague’s
still maintain the hackneyed idea ‘unfriending’ of her on Facebook
that cuts and bruises are real, while than men). When the constituted ‘workplace bullying’.
sorrow and shame are all ‘in the head’ report was published,
– a kind of ghostly agony that doesn’t the Institute’s co-founder, STICKS AND STONES
really count – psychologists and Dr Gary Namie, told With the visibility of this social pain
neuroscientists are beginning to argue reporters, “Women bullies on the rise (and with increasing
that ‘social pain’ (the agony that goes will oten befriend awareness of the negative impact it
along with being rejected from you and then air all can have on us) more scientists than
social groups or finding ourselves your secrets later, in ever are turning their attention to
the target of someone’s sly tweets) boardrooms or at oice this complex issue.
can be every bit as real, and as gatherings.” Sounds For Professor Kip Williams it all
devastating, as a beating. toxic, doesn’t it? began one sunny day in a park in Iowa.
Research also shows that women The bad news is that He was having a picnic by the lake
oten employ this ‘social pain’ as our digital age means with his dog, Michelob, when a frisbee
a weapon of attack, whereas men this type of emotional rolled up next to him. He looked up
are much more likely to use physical aggression is on the rise to see two men waiting for him to
aggression. Indeed, studies confirm (quite simply because throw it back so they could continue
that females tend to use ostracisation we’re able to be in contact the game. “I got up and threw it to
and verbal bullying more up until late online with other people them,” he says. “I was going to sit down
adolescence, at which point society around the clock). And again but, to my surprise, they threw it
makes it harder for males to get away not surprisingly, social back to me. We just started throwing
with fighting – ater all, you don’t see media has been found it to each other. This went on for just
many punches thrown in oices. But to exacerbate the pain of a bit and then, suddenly, they just
even then, according to a 2009 study exclusion. Think about stopped throwing to me. They didn’t
by researchers at Griith University in it – Twitter and Facebook say anything. They just started looking
Brisbane, women are mostly bullied are essentially public at each other and not at me. I felt really
by other women (a 2010 study by forums for takedowns – bad. I was amazed at how powerful
the Workplace Bullying Institute also we now share our spats this fairly minimal experience of
found women to be ‘nastier’ bullies in 140 characters for ostracism was. I felt it in a visceral
everyone to see; catty way. I felt it in my gut. I hurt.”
comments on Instagram are read by What the men didn’t know was
millions, and our constant need to that Professor Williams was a social
fill our Facebook feeds with pictures scientist who had been looking for
of us having the ‘Best. Time. EVER.’ a way to study ostracism. They’d given
‘Women bullies means there are invariably friends him a brilliant idea. He subsequently
will befriend and acquaintances let feeling rejected recreated the situation in the lab,
you, then air all because they weren’t invited to the party.
Not only that, but because these conflicts
teasing apart what happened when
someone in a waiting room was
your secrets’ are becoming increasingly digitalised, engaged by two strangers in a game of
we’re experiencing the emotional catch, and then suddenly frozen out.
fallout more acutely too – as they are “It had an extraordinary impact
delivered directly to our palms via our on them,” he says. “It afected their i
smartphones or broadcast into our living
rooms via our tablet computers.
This type of public emotional
exclusion is now being cited in
courtrooms too. Last year, Tasmanian
estate agent Rachael Roberts reported
self-esteem, their sense of control
over their environment and what
we call their ‘meaningful existence’,
which is whether someone feels
acknowledged or invisible. It
also afected their anger and
their sadness.” Williams, who is where you register both physical
currently a Professor of Psychology and social pain. It’s using the same
at Indiana’s Purdue University, architecture in your brain.”
observed the experiments through a In fact, it can oten be said
one-way mirror. “It was so powerful that the agony we feel inside in
I had trouble watching.” certain situations – which can last
If it was a surprise just how for days, or even weeks – can be
powerful social pain can be, even more excruciating than a painful
greater revelations were in store. but fleeting kick in the shins.
Along with the neuroscientists “Sometimes we’d prefer to undergo
Professors Naomi Eisenberger and physical pain than experience the
Matt Lieberman of the University breakdown of a relationship, for
of California, Professor Williams example,” observes Dr Giorgia Silani
studied what happens inside a of the International School for
person’s brain when Advanced Studies in
they’re frozen out. They Italy. “You feel that
hooked subjects up kind of pain in your
to a scanner and had body. It’s like your
them play a computer
‘To the brain,an body is getting sick.”
version of a catch game electric shock or She ran her own
they called Cyberball.
They were told two
a callous email series of studies using
Cyberball players in
other people were feels the same’ a brain scanner, except
playing the game for this time they were also
real when, in fact, the given electric shocks,
whole thing had been so that a comparison
pre-programmed so they were could be made. “We confirmed that
quickly let out. social pain could be as strongly
“We found that, when they were felt as physical pain,” she says. The
ostracised, their anterior cingulate concept was also furthered in 2010
cortex was activated,” says Professor by Dr Ethan Kross at the Emotion
Williams. “This is the same region and Self-Control Laboratory at the
of the brain that’s activated when University of Michigan. He scanned
people experience physical pain.” the brains of 40 people who’d
To the brain, then, whether it’s an recently been painfully dumped.
electric shock or a callous email Subjects were made to look at
exchange, it feels essentially the photos of their exes and remember
same. “There’s a funny thing about the moment of rejection, and were
the expression ‘social pain’, ” he adds. also given mild burns. Of course, in
“People say ‘it’s all in your head’ both states of pain, the same regions
and it is. Because that’s exactly of the brain lit up.
So we know it’s brutal, but there
are also lots of diferent kinds of
social pain that we can experience:
“Embarrassment, betrayal, being
XX
XXX XXXX
rejected by a group or individual,

being dumped,” says Professor
X
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there are good reasons for it, which

go back to the days when we roamed
the planet in tribes of around
150. “The fact is, we’re very weak
animals,” says Dr Silani. “We’re not
fast, we’re not strong, we can’t fly.
Williams. However, what they all So, in order to survive, we have to and social pain is essentially the
have in common is rejection. live in a society. Let’s say the tribe is same means there are constantly
And don’t TV commissioners providing you with food and water. new discoveries about how to
know it! Massive, and oten To hunt, you need maybe five or six treat it. Incredibly, scientists at the
humiliating, rejection is the people. You can’t do it by yourself.” University of Kentucky have found
jeopardy that drives some of our If you were rejected by the group, that taking paracetamol decreases
biggest shows. From Strictly to back then, it would probably mean the pain of a headache and the
The X Factor, we’re led to believe death. This is why, it’s thought, pain of rejection. And so, for that
we’re watching tests of talent – social pain developed: it was a matter, does smoking moderate
and we are, superficially. But the protective alarm system that told you amounts of marijuana.
emotional energy that powers such something was going wrong, and that But no, we’re not suggesting you
competitions is the public vote you needed to take urgent action. turn to narcotics to help you get
and the crushing rejections, in over the pain you feel when you
front of millions, of those deemed THE PURPOSE OF PAIN hear your friends talking about the
not good enough. It’s no diferent In this respect,‘social pain’ is no ‘hilarious’ WhatsApp group they
on The Apprentice, in which, week diferent from physical pain, which were all on last night. However,
ater week, Lord Sugar shames works as a sort of silent foghorn maybe we should be looking to
and belittles the worst-performing that tells you not to touch an open extract the positives from our social
candidates and uses his stubby wound, say, or walk on a broken pain. Laura is no longer friends
finger to select the person who’ll be leg. Ultimately, pain is crucial with Charlotte, for example, and
rejected from the group. information. We need it to live. has let her old job. But she’s now
Big Brother is, however, perhaps the “There are actually people born happier than ever without that sort
format that exploits the mechanisms without the ability to experience of “toxic friendship” in her life. She
of social pain the most forensically: physical pain,” says Professor Williams. feels she just needed that small
it’s a judgment, by the housemates “They typically die by the time moment of agony to spur her to
and by hundreds of thousands of they’re in their mid-twenties.” Ah. make the change. To find her new
voting viewers, on your personality. But there is some good news. tribe. As Professor Williams says,
PHOTOGRAPHS DREAMSTIME, GETTY IMAGES, TRUNKARCHIVE.COM. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
What the science of social pain Happily, the fact that physical “Pain is useful.” ◆
reveals is the brutality
of such programming.
If the contestants A-LIST AGGRO It’s not all air kissing in the world of celebrities…
showed their pain in
blood, rather than
tears, these would be
horror shows. But
they don’t, so we’re
protected from the fact TAYLOR SWIFT/ JJESSIE J TEAM ANISTON
T KKENDALL JENNER
that these prime-time KATY PERRY TThe singer was bullied After Brad Pitt and
A UUnder an Instagram of
Taylor’s hit single Bad
d aat school – Who’s JJennifer Aniston’s split, KKendall, model Lexi
competitions are closer Blood was widely LLaughing Now? refers sstars including Paris BBoling tagged fellow
to The Hunger Games rumoured to be tto how peers shunned d Hilton wore ‘Team mmodel Binx Walton
than Countdown. about her fall-out hher when medication A
Aniston’ T-shirts, as didd ssaying, ‘She’s never
It might seem with Katy, who ccaused her skin to be sseveral thousand other llooked better!’ with the
surprising that responded with a ttinged with green: w
women according to ccrying-with-laughter
cryptic tweet saying, ““Hey Jessica, you lookk Fraser Ross, owner of eemoji. Walton replied,
women have evolved ‘Watch out for the llike an alien!/With Kitson boutique who ‘That’s f–ked up,’ plus
to experience being Regina George in ggreen skin you don’t ssold the items along mmore laughter symbols.
ostracised with such sheep’s clothing.’ fifit in this playpen!” with ‘Team Jolie’ tops.
w BBoling later apologised.
genuine agony, but
The heal
bloggers
who
duped
116
us all
· C O S M O P O L I TA N
READ
th
Our social feeds are drip-fed with
their images, advice and motivational
mantras. But are these seemingly
warm-hearted, hard-bodied wellness
superstars really selling us a load
of dangerous health juju in the
name of cold, hard business?
Cosmopolitan investigates
summer,
d up an
impressive 20,000 followers on her
Instagram account. A super-fit
personal trainer with accompanying
model good looks, she chronicled
her exercise and diet regime on her
blog and social-media accounts to a
growing army of devoted fans.
Celia’s posts ticked all the right
boxes – gym selfies of her toned torso
in designer Lycra; artfully arranged
bowls of protein porridge and berries;
half-guzzled bottles of green juice,
the occasional inspirational phrase
(‘Be positive, patient and persistent’)
In case the message
– and, of course, the obligatory isn’t clear… don’t
#avotoast. Her followers liked each believe everything
post by the hundreds and hailed you read
her as an inspiration.
But in August, the motivational
quotes and healthy hashtags were Undue influence? recipe books, product lines or
abruptly replaced by a confessional Health and fitness blogging is now sportswear ranges. Photogenic looks
post by the British blogger admitting big business – with the top exponents are essential; qualifications seemingly
that, rather than being at the pinnacle becoming household names and less so. No wonder many want in on
of health, as her posts suggested, she money-spinning brands. They seem the action. But as the stakes get higher,
was seeking treatment for an eating to have it all: looks, lifestyle, self- the truth behind some of these ‘perfect’
disorder. ‘I shamefully admit that I am a confidence and popularity. Each has images is beginning to emerge.
fraudulent fitness blogger – or at least thousands, sometimes millions, of Last November, Australian lifestyle
that’s how I feel,’ Celia, 22, wrote. followers. They’re powerful role blogger Essena O’Neill uploaded
Looking back now, she says she was, models for a generation that feels a tearful video confessing that her
“pretending to be this healthy and far more connected to social-media persona
confident girl, when really I was a hot social-media stars than was a lie. “Everything
mess waiting to erupt. traditional celebrities. ‘Everything I was doing was edited
“I felt like a fraud posting positivity Such is their influence and contrived to get
all the while knowing what I was they’re courted by PR
I was doing more views,” she wailed
doing behind closed doors. Now I’m firms and wellness was edited in-between huge
free from the alter ego I had created for
myself and the deceitful hole I’d dug
brands that supply free
products and ofer
and contrived sobs. “If you don’t
think [social media]
myself into, and I insist authenticity lucrative endorsements. to get is a business, you are
and honesty come first and foremost.” Some have their own deluding yourself.” The
more views’
READ
‘Publishers
19-year-old – who had want gluten/ beer and eating junk had copied recipes from other sources.
more than a million food. Her followers She angrily denied this, while
followers across
sugar/dairy- (nearly 200,000) had acknowledging, “There is a ton of
Instagram, YouTube free recipes been duped. plagiarism in this industry”. That
and Tumblr – deleted While Belle’s case part, at least, does appear to be true
thousands of photos
from beautiful is extreme, it raises – identical recipes for bliss balls, paleo
from her accounts and people – and serious questions bread and kale chips are ubiquitous
recaptioned others about the lack of in the health-blogging world).
with a new honesty:
they trust accountability and But a senior source at a household-
‘Stomach sucked who they transparency in the name publisher, who spoke on
in, strategic pose, health- and fitness- condition of anonymity, told
pushed-up boobs.’
follow on blogging world. As Cosmopolitan that health claims made
Her revelations made Instagram’ brands, publishers and by self-styled wellness experts are still
headlines worldwide. media companies fall not subject to rigorous fact checking.
Meanwhile, last over themselves to hail “Whether it sells is what matters at the
spring, Belle Gibson – another these women as wellness gurus, who end of the day,” he said. “Decisions are
very successful Australian is actually checking their credentials? made on commercial grounds. Right
blogger – was also revealed as a now, lots of us want gluten-free,
fraud. Gibson built her success Self-styled experts sugar-free, dairy-free recipes from
by claiming that she had shrunk No doubt lessons have been learnt beautiful people. And they trust
a malignant brain tumour and from the Belle Gibson fiasco. A month who they follow on Instagram.”
warded of other cancers – before her prettily illustrated recipe Penguin admitted it hadn’t checked
including liver, kidney and blood book The Whole Pantry was due to be for evidence of Belle’s battle with brain
– by overhauling her diet and released in the UK, it was pulled from cancer before publishing her cookbook
lifestyle. The 24-year-old claimed the market (ex-friends claimed Belle in Australia, which used her personal
she abandoned chemo to focus on story to gain credibility for her recipes
exercise and a plant-based, gluten-, and regime of natural therapies.
dairy- and cafeine-free diet to London Fitness While it may seem harsh in theory to
Guide aka Celia
successfully fight her illness. Her recipe cross-examine a cancer patient, any
Learmonth (top)
app, The Whole Pantry, had more than oncologist would have pointed out that
200,000 downloads in its first month, it is extremelyunlikely for anyone i
and led to a book deal. Apple was even
in talks with her to include her app in “Everything I was doing was edited and
contrived to get more views,” Essena
its new watch. Her earnings were in
admitted after deleting thousands of photos
the hundreds of thousands – though
she told fans she donated part of her
profits to charity.
Everyone wanted a part of Belle’s
story. The problem was that it was just
that: a story. Belle never had cancer.
Nor did she donate profits to charities.
When ex-friends started tipping of the
press, Belle was eventually forced to
admit, “None of it’s true.” She claimed
a conman did diagnose her with
cancer – but it wasn’t the first time she
had made dubious health claims
online. In 2009, she posted about
“dying” on the operating table during
a major heart operation. And in
contrast to the pure, organic goodness Lifestyle blogger Essena
she promoted in The Whole Pantry, O’Neill LEFT: Her tearful
leaked photos revealed her drinking video confession
with a grade-4 glioblastoma (aggressive
brain tumour) to be alive – let alone
healthy – five years ater diagnosis.
It’s not hard to see why a blog such
as Belle’s was so popular. Treating
chronic diseases with fruit and
vegetables is obviously more appealing
than enduring gruelling treatments
such as chemotherapy – but evidence
overwhelmingly shows that, while
likely to be helpful in preventing some
types of cancer, of course fruit and
vegetables cannot cure the disease.
Health blogger Jessica Ainscough,
aka The Wellness Warrior, discovered
that the hard way. Ater being
diagnosed in 2008 with a rare form of
sot-tissue cancer in her arm at 22, the “The obsession
former magazine journalist opted to with my diet
try to treat herself with alternative stopped me
therapies, including juices and cofee from leading a
The Balanced
enemas, rather than follow her normal life,” said
Blonde, formerly
orthorexia sufferer
doctor’s advice and have her arm and the Blonde Vegan
and former vegan
part of her shoulder amputated. Jordan Younger
Over the following seven years, she
built a profitable wellness empire the answers, and medical professionals vegan blogger revealed to Cosmopolitan
around her story, writing books, caution that what works for one that once her social-media reach tipped
speaking at events and becoming person or one condition won’t 10,000 followers, she began to receive
a health coach. She had more than necessarily work for another. free stuf in the mail. At 50,000, she
55,000 followers in her social-media A popular mantra in the wellness was asked how much she charged for
‘tribe’ on Facebook. In 2011, she said industry is ‘food is medicine’ – a endorsements and, by 100,000, the bar
her book would include her story of catchy phrase but one that risks had been raised to free holidays, a
“how I cured my own cancer”. But the oversimplifying the issue. Certainly, talent agent and the prospect of
slow-moving disease was spreading food can have a powerful impact trailing commissions on product sales.
and she died in February 2015. on our wellbeing. But conventional
Nevertheless, genuine stories of medicine has its place – and sending Unrealistic images
using food and lifestyle to triumph a message that says otherwise could Companies know the influence these
over illness have a strong impact in the have disastrous consequences. bloggers wield over young women –
industry. Bestselling author Ella Unlike your GP, bloggers are not but many doctors are less impressed.
Woodward, who found fame online bound by the Hippocratic Oath to ‘do “If you want to complement
under the handle Deliciously Ella, no harm’. They are, however, obliged by traditional therapies by eating
treated her postural tachycardia the Advertising Standards Authority to healthily, I have no problem with that
syndrome with a vegan diet. Similarly, declare commercial interests, such as – most doctors don’t,” says GP and
‘I Quit Sugar’ blogger- being paid to promote clinical consultant Sarah Jarvis. “What
turned-cookbook- brands on their blogs we do have a problem with is people
author Sarah Wilson, a The number or indicate free going on extreme diets and running
slender Australian products with hashtags the risk of becoming nutritionally
ex-journalist, manages of fitness such as #ad or #spon. deficient or developing orthorexia,
her autoimmune apps has Even so, many fans a psychiatric disorder where people
condition Hashimoto’s would be surprised by can’t live a normal life because they
with a sugar-free diet. doubled the incentives top are fixated on their diet.”
However, neither has in the past bloggers receive for Like many medical experts, Dr Jarvis
claimed they have all endorsements. One thinks our growing obsession with
two years
READ
‘clean living’ is contributing to a rise in Butterfly Foundation, warns that too

orthorexia.“I’m seeing more patients
who are sufering severe mental distress
much value is placed on unrealistic
images of thinness and beauty. AND ON A
because of it. It’s taking over their lives.”
In June 2014, American blogger
“[Social-media users] are being
bombarded with images that oten
LIGHTER NOTE…
Making #fitspo funny
Jordan Younger put her 70,000 promote unrealistic, unobtainable
social-media following as ‘The and highly stylised appearance
Blonde Vegan’ on the line when she ideals which have been digitally
confessed that she’d been sufering manipulated and cannot be achieved
from orthorexia.“The obsession with in real life,” she says.“When women
my diet took up my every waking view these images and feel they don’t
PHOTOGRAPHS PIXELEYES, CAMERA PRESS. FOR MORE ON DR SARAH JARVIS, SEE PATIENT.CO.UK
hour,” she says of the time when measure up, they experience intense
she would post every extreme juice body dissatisfaction. This can lead
DELICIOUSLY STELLA
cleanse and kale salad.“It was stopping to women engaging in disordered Arabella Younger is the comedian
me from leading a normal life.” eating behaviours (extreme dieting behind this inspired account, which
She had to come clean ater and exercise), which are significant documents her not-so-healthy lifestyle.
reintroducing eggs and fish into her risk factors for the development of She’s even launched bags with the
slogan ‘You can’t milk an almond’.
diet in 2014 – a move that provoked an eating disorder.”
Arabella says, “I’m not down with being
a strong backlash from some in the Having admitted her own struggles, shamed for my ‘dirty food’.” Respect.
vegan movement. However, the Celia Learmonth now says honesty INSTAGRAM.COM/
change in direction – Jordan has now and balance are her priorities when DELICIOUSLYSTELLA/
reinvented herself as ‘The Balanced blogging. Ater her story went public,
Blonde’ – doesn’t appear to have done she published a detailed account
her brand much harm. She has 125,000 of her personal history and made
followers on Instagram, does product a conscious decision to include “the
endorsements and got a book deal for good, the bad and the ugly”.
her new lifestyle, with Breaking Vegan However, she still insists there’s a
hitting the shelves last November. positive side to the social-media fitness
Christine Morgan, CEO of eating- movement.“Girls are being brought VLADIMIR PUTIN
disorder support association The together based on their shared passion Yes, the Russian president. No, not his
for fitness,” she says.“And they’re all Instagram. This parody account places
uplifting mantras over photos of the
encouraging each other to be stronger
Belle Gibson after sweaty, fitness-obsessed president
and healthier. My followers seem to (using the tagline “Vlad – you only get
she was revealed
as a fraud
appreciate my honesty and openness.” out what you – Putin”) One
Being motivated to make lifestyle inexplicably compelling account.
changes is one thing, says Dr Jarvis – INSTAGRAM.COM/PUTINSPIRATION/
but when blogs become more
instructional than inspirational, then
it’s time to worry.“There’s a world
of diference between encouraging
people to live a healthy lifestyle and
telling them certain food can cure
their conditions,” she says.“The
problem with the internet is that it is UNSPIRATIONAL
unpoliced and people can make any The bleak quotes on this page couldn’t
be any less motivating (“Crying in the
claim that they want to. Most of them shower burns 300 calories an hour”,
have no more qualifications than and “Eat like no one is going to see
anyone else on the street. They don’t you naked”). The perfect site for when
have specialist knowledge, yet they’re you miss that workout/can’t
setting themselves up as experts. find a ripe avocado/generally CBA*.
INSTAGRAM.COM/UNSPIRATIONAL/
“You wouldn’t take your mate’s advice
over a doctor’s – so why do we think *CBA = can’t be arsed.
these bloggers are better qualified?” ◆
W O R D S Ingeborg van Lotringen S T Y L I N G Shelly Vella
P H O T O G R A P H S William Garrett
For every girl extolling the skin-clearing,

face-toning, stress-busting joys of a jog,
there’s a cynic citing pore-clogging sweat. So
how good – or bad – is exercise for your skin?
We get to the (perky) bottom of the issue…
122
READ
Top, H&M. Boxing

head guard and
gloves, studio’s own
Sports bra,
Björn Borg
READ
3 Bacteria
and sebum
This gruesome twosome of
then aterwards to lit the
filth away,” advises Kate.
Use a wash-of cleanser,
acne triggers loves the gym. then a salicylic acid wipe;
“People oten use one towel try Dermalogica Skin
to wipe gym equipment – Purifying Wipes,
Five things that threaten your which is crawling with £14.85 (5). Dr Williams
bacteria – and their face,” recommends wearing
fit-girl skin – and how to sort them says Kate. Not advisable. She breathable fibres and
also points out that liting showering immediately
1 HeatGetting seriously hot

and bothered in pursuit
avoid UV rays, so an SPF50
is imperative if you must
exercise outdoors.
heavy weights can increase
androgen (male sex
hormone) levels, which may
ater. A salicylic acid (yes,
that again) body mist, such
as Paula’s Choice Clear
of fitness has its drawbacks upregulate oil production Exfoliating Body Spray,
for your face. “If you’re
prone to rosacea or broken
blood vessels, working
2 Sweat Believe it or not,
sweating can be good for
and lead to breakouts.
Add friction from clothes
plus sweat for a perfect
£21.50 (6), is brilliant for
nixing bacne, while Vichy
Normaderm Beautifying
yourself into a sweat can your skin (more on that cocktail to “aggravate acne Anti-Imperfection Care,
exacerbate the problem and later) as long as you don’t on shoulders, back and £14.50 (7), will settle
lead to persistent redness,” leave it to dry there for chest in susceptible people,” your face. Aaah…
says clinical facialist Kate hours. “If let, sweat gets says dermatologist Dr
Kerr. And even if you’re not
predisposed, plastic surgeon
Mr Alex Karidis warns,
sucked back into the pores
mixed with the cell debris
it just helped flush out,
Stefanie Williams.
Clear the way “Cleanse
your face before a workout
4 Makeup
Why? It’s a bad idea
as it will inevitably block
“Increased blood flow bacteria from wiping your so skin can purge freely, your pores – especially
pumping hard through your face, and any sebum or foundations that boast of
veins always carries a risk of makeup on your skin,” says 1 being ‘long-wearing and
permanent dilation.” And, Kate. Hello, breakouts. Also, sweat-proof’. “You want
he says, “People prone to according to skincare expert your skin to be a clear,
large pigmented areas may Jill Zander, the salt in sweat unobstructed channel for
see symptoms worsening, as can dry skin out. 3
sweat, oil and cell debris
2
high heat plays a part in Don’t sweat it Clean your to escape,” says Kate. Sorry.
triggering melasma.” face directly ater your But I can’t go barefaced!
How to cool it “To avoid workout, preferably using g Alright then… “Wear
overheating, work out in a mild wash-of cleanser breathable mineral powder
a cool environment (there – try Sanctuary Spa foundation if necessary,” says
are fans on most cardio Foaming Micellar Kate. “If exercising outside,
equipment – or position Cleansing Water, £8 (3). a tinted, oil-free SPF50,
yourself as near to them as “Don’t put on moisturiser such as SkinCeuticals UV
possible in a studio),” says until you’ve stopped Mineral Radiance SPF50,
Kate. Using a cooling face perspiring as it can block 4 £39 (8), is great.” Mascara
mist such as Elizabeth pores,” says Kate; she also can’t hurt, but, says
Arden Pro Hydrating advises against using spinning instructor Rhian
5
Antioxidant Spray, £25 (1), skincare pre-workout, to, Stephenson, CEO of Psycle,
as you go will help as well. again “avoid any blockages”. “Try a fibre-based one, such
Every day, Kate advises, However, Jill suggests that as Code VLM Volumising
“Using an antioxidant those who aren’t oil-prone Lengthening Mascara,
serum with vitamin C will could apply a moisture- £19.95 (9), as it won’t run.”
help strengthen capillaries attracting gel, such as La
to prevent damage.” We rate
Zelens Power C Treatment
Drops, £125 (2). The
Roche-Posay Hydraphase
Intense Serum, £19.90 (4)
before exercise to avoid
5 Gravity and
weight loss
If you’re prone to pulling
melasma-prone should dehydration from sweating. faces and straining your i
READ
neck when working out latter can also generate

hard, watch out. “Your neck damaging free radicals,
muscles are like sheets with which will counteract the
vertical bonds,” says Mr anti-ageing benefits of
Karidis. Strain too much your workout.”
and they’ll pull your face
down.” Some people claim Now you know what not to do, check It calms skin
high-impact exercise causes “Exercise reduces stress
‘micro-tears’ in the skin,
out these five reasons why exercise hormones such as cortisol,”
leading to sagging, but Mr may be better for your skin than says Kate. “Acne, rosacea,
Karidis says sag is mostly any dream cream or wonder serum eczema and even skin-
genetic. “If you or your ageing processes are
parents have a tendency for exacerbated by stress, so
loose skin, jogging isn’t It revs up your gives you a far less sluggish it follows that regular
going to help.” The major complexion complexion.” And we’re workouts can improve all
cause of sag, he adds, is not Contrary to popular cool with all of that. of these conditions.” Again,
gravity but weight loss. “Fat belief, sweating does not don’t go all Forrest Gump:
underlying the structure of ‘detoxify’ skin – that’s It nixes wrinkles “Endurance cardio actually
the face diminishes with the liver’s job. But Sugar is a b*****d for your raises cortisol levels,”
age. Accelerating the process it does, “efectively waistline but it’s even says Dr Williams. “Think
by burning lots of won’t deep-cleanse pores as worse for your skin. It intense bursts on the cross
make you look any younger.” it flushes out built-up causes glycation: hardening trainer, bike or in the pool.”
Get a lit Not overdoing debris in the form of of collagen fibres, leading
it is key, says Dr Williams, sebum, dirt and dead to lines and crevices. Doing It makes collagen
who advocates short, cells.” says Kate. “It even resistance work or liting Studies that prove exercise
low-impact, high-intensity contains a natural light weights is the de-ages skin are plentiful.
workouts. “Apart from antibiotic shown to kill A recent one found that
giving you a gaunt face, bacteria as powerful as previously sedentary test
HAIR JONOTHON MALONE, USING BUMBLE AND BUMBLE. MAKEUP LISA VALENCIA, USING BOBBI BROWN. FASHION ASSISTANT
overreaching yourself has E.coli.” And if bright, subjects who did relatively
been shown to increase energised skin is your intense cardio for three
“Sweating flushes
SOPHIE DEARDEN. MODEL EMILY VAN RAAY, PREMIER MODEL MANAGEMENT. THANKS TO ALL STARS BOXING GYM
systemic inflammation main wish (nod here), months ended up with
and oxidative stress – both you’re in luck as well: out built-up debris a significantly thicker,
contribute to skin ageing.” “Increased blood flow
optimises nutrient and
– sebum, dirt plumper dermis (skin’s
cell-generating layer),
8 oxygen absorption, with and dead cells” proving collagen and
better cell function and elastin production had
6
healthy-looking skin been boosted. Others
as a result,” says Kate. have proved that, according
antidote, says Kate: “Most to Dr Williams, “Intense
It’s better of the body’s intake of interval exercise increases
than Botox glucose is burnt by skeletal the life span and energy
Seriously… “Exercise is muscles. So more muscle of our cells, as well as the
fa tastic for lymphatic tone means lower blood release of growth hormones
e, as repetitive sugar – means less that slow skin ageing.”
scle c ntraction glycation.” Following?
speeds p the lymph Basically, get your ass to a So, if you take a few simple
, helping it HIIT training class pronto skincare precautions,
inate waste (high-impact cardio done regular exercise equals
9 oducts such as toxins for a short space of time. better-behaved, younger-
and free radicals,” says Phew…) “It regulates blood looking skin – provided
7 Rhian. “It gets rid glucose better than ‘chronic you don’t work out too
of puiness and water cardio’ (endurance training),” hard. Frankly, it sounds
retention, and over time says Dr Williams. “The like a win-win to us! ◆
126
T-shirt, New Look.
Sports bra (just seen),
Adidas at Footlocker
The SECR
To celebrate the return of Britain’s Next Top Model to our TV screens,
we’ve teamed up with the show’s official haircare partner, Head & Shoulders, to
find out more about this year’s model hopefuls – and, more importantly,
uncover their beauty and haircare secrets
Britain’s Next Top Model is back! saying they’ve sufered from dandruf.
M
HA
Not only does this mean we get So what’s their secret for achieving
EED
another chance to see just what it beautiful, flake-free hair?
N
LEX
takes to make it in the fashion Of those surveyed, more than half
A
AN
business, but it’s also the perfect time use Head & Shoulders. These models
KM
to practise our own catwalk strut. (We rely on the product because it
OR
W
can’t be the only ones who have controls dandruf while leaving their
A
IC
perfected our model walk, surely?) hair looking and feeling beautiful.
SS
JE
As they stride down the runway, It only makes sense, then,
it’s hard to believe that these strong- that Head & Shoulders is the
looking women would ever sufer oicial haircare partner of
from a crisis of confidence – however, Britain’s Next Top Model. E
NN
a new survey by Head & Shoulders So now we know their YD
U
E
has revealed that 85% of UK models secret, let’s find out a bit HA
YL
more about the 15

‘Two out of ive models model hopefuls…
have sufered from
dandruf, so what’s their
secret for beautiful, Y
FFE
RO
flake-free hair?’ RLO
TTE
CHA
sufer from beauty hang-ups just

like the rest of us.
So what is a top model’s most
important beauty attribute? Well,
72% of UK models say their hair is, LLY
X KE
ALE
quite literally, their crowning glory.
Most of us have experienced
dandruf – and know all too well
that when you’re rocking a Little
Black Dress it’s the last thing you
want to worry about. But if you think
beautiful hair and a healthy scalp EENAN
CHLOE K
is beyond your power to achieve,
think again – because models aren’t
immune either, with two out of five
COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION
ET is out...
HTAR
BILLIE DOWNES
GERS
N AK
JADE RO
ON
AMREE
AH
McM
NA
JEN
Y
RB
WE
SO
AN
TH
BE
ER
TL
BU
A
GI
OR
GE
LE
L CO
GE
AN
DGE
‘IT ONLY MAKES SENSE IN E HO
JASM
THAT HEAD & SHOULDERS
IS THE OFFICIAL
HAIRCARE PARTNER
OF BRITAIN’S NEXT
TOP MODEL’ L
BRUNEL
MEGAN
ALEX KELLY
Alex has been modelling since she
was just 13 and lists Cindy Crawford
as her favourite model. A fitness
fanatic, she goes to the gym five or six
times a week, although she still likes
to party. Her dream is to be the face
of Victoria’s Secret.
ALEX NEEDHAM
Born and bred in Sheield, and up great-grandfather is Cantonese, trained singer, this is Chloe’s first
until recently working in Ladbrokes, her great-grandmother is Mexican, experience of modelling.
Alex has lived independently since her grandmother is Belizean and
she was 15 – so living in the model her grandfather is Irish. GEORGIA BUTLER
house will be a breeze. She doesn’t Georgia started modelling at 15 and
like to follow the crowd and avoids BILLIE DOWNES won’t let anything stop her making it
the big fashion trends. Equally at home in dresses or big in the modelling world – not even
tracksuits, Billie would love to be the a snake bite, which lead to her not
AMREEN AKHTAR face of Chanel. Her favourite features being able to walk for nine months!
Amreen’s mum was her biggest are her nose and breasts, but she’s
fashion influence growing up, and less keen on her legs. HAYLEY DUNNE
her earliest memory is walking With her fair skin and dark locks,
around in her high heels. The one CHARLOTTE ROFFEY Hayley is a traditional Irish beauty.
item she couldn’t live without? Described by her friends as an She has been modelling part-time for
Her hair straighteners. exhibitionist, Charlotte is certainly no the past three years and has been an
shrinking violet. As well as being an avid fan of Britain’s Next Top Model
ANGEL COLE aspiring model, she owns her own ever since it first launched. Her
A big fan of the show, Angel was food and nutrition business, and inspiration is Cara Delevingne, and
finally persuaded to apply by her works part-time as a receptionist she stays true to herself, treating
girlfriend, Kashka. She would love to – so a hectic working schedule is modelling as a work of art.
be the first openly gay model on the something she’s already used to.
show and pave the way for others. JADE ROGERS
CHLOE KEENAN Jade stands out from the crowd with
BETHAN SOWERBY We love Chloe’s confidence – when her striking bleach-blonde crop,
Bethan says her unique looks come asked about her worst feature she said and she’s previously worked in hair
from her mixed heritage: her she doesn’t have one. A classically modelling. Jade describes her look as
COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION
“diferent”, and says she’s a chameleon of her belief that all women are
who can change into anything. She beautiful, no matter what their shape
also reckons she’s like Marmite: you or size. We love you too, Ms Banks.
either love her or hate her.
JESSICA WORKMAN
JASMINE HODGE Jessica would love to be a model as
Jasmine might not be the best person they seem like “superhumans”. She
to share a room with in the model also wants to use modelling as a
house as, according to her dad, “She platform to talk about the wider
leaves a trail of destruction behind issues in the world.
her.” Her style icon is Kate Moss and
she loves ’90s fashion. MEGAN BRUNELL
Megan’s family describe her as a
JENNA McMAHON bit of a wild card – which might
With Miranda Kerr as her favourite explain why she has a pet turtle and
model, it’s no surprise that Jenna a motorcycle. Megan describes her
favours a natural, fresh-faced look. style as “rock chic” and is partial to
She also admires Tyra Banks because a bit of faux fur.
THE SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER YOU NEED FOR CAMERA-READY HAIR

You shouldn’t have to compromise between having a healthy scalp and beautiful hair – and that’s why Head &
Shoulders is the UK’s No.1 shampoo brand, and a staple in every model’s beauty regime. And because we all
deserve catwalk-worthy locks, Head & Shoulders new, Limited-Edition Smooth & Silky collection has everything you
need for show-stopping hair. With its unique ZPT technology, the shampoo and conditioner
provide up to 100%-flake-free hair, while still leaving your locks irresistibly silky-soft. So
what are you waiting for? Now every day can be a good hair day.
READ
You’re busy. You’re skint… and you want to live like a Rich
Kid of Instagram. Guess what? You can. Jennifer Savin road-
tests the new ‘outsourcing economy’, which lets you live like
an oligarch for as little as £5 a day. (Disclaimer: this article
may just change your life)
ter a day of emails and meetings,
I sink into the seat of an Uber cab,
ordered with a mere three taps
of a finger. I optimise my travel
time with a few more swipes and
arrange flowers to be delivered to my mum,
order a week’s worth of lunches, and email my
PA, Sumari, asking her to coordinate my trip to
Lisbon. Although Sumari knows the ins-and-
outs of my diary, it’s unlikely we’ll ever meet
– because Sumari’s a ‘virtual’ PA (although
she is an actual human being), and one
who’s happy to take the reins of my hectic
schedule for less than 70 quid a month…
By the way, this is not my ‘usual’ set-up.
No, normally I get the tube to work,
run to Pret for lunch and make my
own appointments. But this month,
I’ve been challenged to ‘outsource’
everything (read: delegate my chores
via apps and websites) in order to win
back unnecessarily ‘wasted’ time and,
in the process, become a productivity
machine. Turns out happiness experts
(and yes, that’s a thing now) such as
psychologist Professor John Collings
say that outsourcing can enhance
overall life satisfaction, but only if we
use the extra time to embark on more
worthy activities – you know, such as
nurturing relationships that make us
feel good, or in my case, finally
cracking on with that unwritten novel
I’ve been brainstorming since 2009.
But, given I’m the type of woman
who makes to-do lists that include
tasks I’ve already completed in
order to get a sneaky extra hit of the
satisfaction that accompanies a biro
strike-through, outsourcing initially
sounds, to me, like a bad case of
overindulgence. Sure, I like technology
that makes things easier – a life
without Spotify or the Papa John’s app
is surely not worth living – but I also
regularly worry that we’re basically
READ
charger across the city on the day

she accidentally took it to work and
couldn’t leave the oice. “Surviving
as a modern woman, trying to ‘do it
all’ solo is impossible,” she tells me.
“For me, outsourcing is an invaluable
all turning into robots. And the stats way to free up more time to spend on cheap – and we all get £10 of if we
surrounding our ever-increasing doing the things I really love. It helps refer a friend,” she enthuses. “In that
dependency on quick convenience me live a more stress-free existence.” sense, elitism is shrinking. Start-ups
aren’t doing much to dispel that As the Uber cab drops me of need to try and reach as many people
fear. Business is currently booming outside my flat, I wonder if my life as possible; they need to be desirable
for pre-prepared ingredient delivery is really busy enough to warrant and accessible by the masses and, by
services such as Gousto, which outsourcing – or if I’m just joining doing that, they’re creating a new-
reported a 341% jump in sales last in with Generation Lazy, who are found sense of community.”
year, and TaskRabbit – an app where basically delaying adulthood with apps A day later than scheduled, there’s
users can post a request for help that can pick up ater us the way our a buzz on our intercom and on
with an odd job or errand in their mum and dad once did. the doorstep stands a
local community – now boasts 30,000 cleaner. She’s a very
employees, known as ‘Taskers’. Tap, wash and go sweet 40-something,
But in spite of my hesitance, I’m During my four-year who communicates
starting to discover outsourcing is stint working in Topshop ‘It used to be through thumbs-ups
seriously addictive. While in the taxi, (while simultaneously only the rich and smiles. Through
I receive a text from one of my best
friends: ‘Harry’s stuff is still all over
moonlighting as a
barmaid, waitressing
who could only thumbs-ups and
smiles; she speaks
my house, I’m too scared to ask him and getting a degree), afford help’ approximately three
to collect it. But we’ve been broken up I’d regularly claim I was words of English –
for months now, this is SO annoying!’ too busy to clean or do “You ordered cleaning?”
I tap into Fiverr – another app I’ve laundry, and instead I usher her into the
become obsessed with, that lets you bought fresh underwear and new kitchen where we stare at one
outsource pretty much anything from discounted outfits each shit to avoid another bewildered. I’ve never had a
proofreading to break-ups, from a spending time with my washing cleaner before; feeling horrendously
starting rate of just five dollars (£3.30). machine. Not much has changed awkward, I resort to mime. Trying
A minute later, I reply with, ‘Don’t – so the thought of being able to to convey ‘Please could you tackle
worry – got this covered.’ I’ve just paid a outsource the washing of my St the bath while you’re here? And if
user in America to send over photos of Tropez-streaked sheets is glorious. you have time, take out the bins?
her pet snake to Harry, posing next to a I look into Dapper, an app that Hang on, do cleaners take out
detly written note: ‘Pick up your sssstuff, collects and delivers laundry, then see bins? So sorry about this, I’m really
you sssnake!’ Should do the trick. it charges £1.95 per pillowcase. No, ta. embarrassed. Also, conveying ‘thanks
A cleaner, from the Bizzby app, so much!’ with only hand gestures
Making it app-en however, costs only £24 for two hours. is no easy feat.
Victoria Lugton, 33, a PR consultant In less than a minute I’ve made a Two hours later, she knocks on
from London, tells me she can booking. When I tell my friend Cat, my bedroom door (where I’ve
spend up to £200 a 25, a trainee solicitor, concealed myself, attempting to have
month on outsourcing she’s obviously excited. a nap, for the duration of her visit).
through Fiverr, and her TaskRabbit “It used to be only the She mimes that she has finished. I
requests range from rich who could aford a mime ‘thank you’… and later re-
the expected: cleaning, claims a full- helping hand; now it’s polish the mirrors and re-mop the
ironing and gardening, time tasker on bathroom floor. Turns out, despite
to the creative: finding having so much clutter under my
a local Tasker to TaskRabbit. bed I practically sleep touching
assemble flat-pack com can earn the ceiling, I’m a micro-managing
furniture or courier cleaning perfectionist. Who knew?
her husband’s phone up to £3,200 Outsourcing: 1, Jennifer: 0. i
per month
20% of adults holiday planning –
something I thought
in the UK do all was a laborious chore
or most of – is actually more of
an unrealised pleasure.
their grocery Bollocks. But one
‘I’ll have my shopping definite win is cutting
assistant out the painful small
call you…’ online and 13 talk with my doctor’s
I eventually realise the
stress of outsourcing
million people receptionist – whose
voice sounds like a
by myself is too much: regularly order seagull being crammed
so I arrange my first
consultation with
a takeaway via into a NutriBullet –
as Sumari makes my
Sumari, again, using Just Eat twice appointment.
just the click of a
button – while
a month Will work for love
munching an I continue my
outsourced butternut squash salad quest for maximum eiciency by “About another 99
of those will do me”
from a company called EatFirst. She’s constructing a list of all the other
available by the hour for £13.99 to things that unnecessarily take up
create an online diary for me, arrange a large chunk of my time. Said list
appointments, price-compare train includes: memorising Tupac lyrics, Henry VIII. So far, so shit. His opening
tickets and plan my European choosing which conditioner to buy message is stunning: ‘I want someone to
mini-break – the tasks clearly holding in Sainsbury’s and looking for love. shower with, eat with and pick me up
me back from realising my full- Fed up with wasting precious time some toffee popcorn – you know, that
potential as a successful novelist. playing virtual whack-a-mole on kind of stuff. I’m quite weird sometimes,
When Sumari calls, her South Tinder, I sign up to Once – a dating but got my heart in the right place! Nice
African accent oozes enthusiasm app that promises to lips, by the way.’
down the phone. I like her straight do the hard work for I delete the app and
away. She chirps that I’m her first me. I’m assured that decide I’d rather die
‘organic client’ (the rest she met an actual, real-life alone. Outsourcing
at networking events or through expert will hand-pick ‘The more something as finicky as
personal contacts). But when she the utmost of suitable I outsourced, romance is clearly not
asks what it is I’d like her help with,
I instantly feel like a faux grown-
candidates for me and
present each one in
the more it felt the done thing. But, if
the worst comes to the
up, playing make believe that I’m a email form, daily. like a chore‘ worst, at least I know
high-flier in need of a PA. A fraud. Fabulous. I can finally I can pay somebody
But, I reason with myself, maybe it’s stop WhatsApping that a fiver to be my devoted,
because I’m so hideously disorganised pretty-hot-but-pretty-dull hilarious, ambitious,
and incapable of life admin that I’m fashion model I met in a casino for definitely-not-fictitious other half at
the epitome of someone in need sporadic ‘Ater Eight Mate’ sessions. family weddings or engagement
of a PA? I run through my list of Soon, I’ll be far too busy with my parties, should I ever need it. Even if
outsourceable chores. outsourced soulmate. he is dressed in Tudor garb.
Sumari is slick and eicient and My first match is Jeremy*, 24, from Yet, mere hours later, I find myself
I win back a couple of hours to Croydon. His bio says he’s a ‘big slithering back on to my beloved
spend more wisely. I open my laptop dreamer’. In one photo he’s dressed as Fiverr, typing in ‘love’. Just to be sure
with every intention of smashing that it’s a terrible idea. Turns out,
out the first chapter of my future on Fiverr, the rumours about that
bestseller… and manage to spend half absolute arse-ache of an emotion not
an hour Googling Simon Cowell’s costing a thing are false – I find a user,
best insults, before perusing the net Spellbound13, cheerily ofering to
for weekend getaway deals; it seems cast, ‘a very, very powerful spell that
READ
75p processiing fee, for next-day

delivery (cann you hear me laughing
as I type thiss?). Before being able
to work his magic, Spellbound13
asks me for some personal details
in order to tailor
t it specifically to
my irresistibbility needs. This is also I regularly spend £20 on a Sunday
reassuring, I’m glad he’s taking my takeaway to revive me from a
request serioously. One of his burning pinot-induced coma when I could
questions is,, ‘What time of day were get a week’s worth of healthy lunches
you born?’ Having
H no idea, I wonder at near enough the same cost. And
if it’s important enough to call my the next time I have furniture in
mum at worrk. I decide it definitely need of assembling, I’ll be heading
is. An email confirms the spell has to TaskRabbit, rather than spending
been cast 11 hours later. I walk down an aternoon screaming at an
the street waaiting for men to hurl instruction manual, ‘Where the fuck
themselves out
o of car windows at me, is Allen key B? There is no Allen-
run out of cafes like a Lynx advert fucking-key, you LIAR!’
and spring from
f manholes wielding But on the whole, the more
bouquets off Mac lipsticks and bottles I outsourced, the more it felt like
of Jose Cuerrvo (because obviously, if a chore in itself. I didn’t use my extra
these men reeally wanted to woo me, free time wisely, either – I caught up
will instantly urge your person of they’d know w I’m not one to swoon on much-needed sleep and watched
) N f this happens. At TV – a rare treat, but probably not
for just £5. Which sounds absolutely the time of publication, Fit Barman one worth paying for. However, it’s
ideal (if not slightly illegal); instead and I remain ‘just good friends.’ good to know that if I ever need a
of taking an hour to do my hair, in helping hand with anything, there’s
preparation for spending a night One app fits all? probably somebody out there
trying to seduce Fit Barman in my My attempt at outsourcing everything willing to lend it. It all feels very
PHOTOGRAPHS TOM WATTS. HAIR AND MAKEUP VICTORIA BARNES. STYLING JARED GREEN. MODEL’S DRESS, H&M. SHOES,
SOLUTIONS (SUMARI), SEE SL-ASSISTANTSOLUTIONS.CO.UK. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. **THAT’S A JOKE, OBVIOUSLY
local, with this outsourcing gem I’ll has opened my eyes to the types neighbourly, and a lot of the ‘Taskers’
KURT GEIGER, SWIMSUIT, JENNIFER’S OWN. BOUQUET, BLOOM & WILD. FOOD, EATFIRST. FOR MORE ON SL-ASSISTANT
gain a whole 60 minutes back to eat of services out there but has also on TaskRabbit tend to be young
noodles and watch Will And Grace confirmed how, at the moment, millennials looking to make some
– and still get to have sex. Minimal I don’t really need to resort to that extra cash with a job that fits around
efort, maximum results. much delegation. That’s not to say their lifestyle: 65% of them say they
But outsourcing sex (through I’m not leading a busy lifestyle. (I earn enough money through the app
sorcery) isn’t as easy as clicking can’t remember the last time I cooked to have a healthy work/life balance.
a button. First, I must agree to ‘Use my own dinner because I’m always In fact, I even paid one named Kyle,
the spell wisely, as it’s merciless and out or working late). So, I’m all over all the way over in Texas, £5 to write
works no matter what.’ Once I agree, these new food-delivering apps; this very article**. ◆
a reassuring message
appears: ‘You will
definitely be amazed
by the results.’ 4 APPS I’M HOOKED ON: Tech-knows that sort life’s toughest crap
On the whole, I’m
a huge fan of being
‘amazed by results’,
and decide that
BLOOM & WILD WAHANDA SHOPSTYLE EATFIRST
instead of paying £5
Give your letterbox a Save yourself the When you’re crying out Fresh meals prepared
for the irresistibility cheap thrill by getting a indignity of ringing for a pair of silver heels by Michelin-trained
spell alone, I’ll go one bunch of flowers round for a last-minute and don’t have time to chefs, delivered bang on
step further and fork slipped through it Brazilian wax – this app trawl through websites, time. What more could
out an extra £10, plus courtesy of these guys. will do the honours. this does it for you. your stomach want?
a very reasonable
SINGLE? SETTLED? WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED
BY HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPH LEO ACKER
SAVE US FROM OURSELVES

When changes are rolled out on Facebook, you hear a collective groan the world over – because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,
right? But the latest tweak looks set to break the pattern. Knowing 88% of Facebook users stalk their exes on the site (and
with research revealing that doing so can make a break-up even more distressing), the clever clogs at Mark Zuckerberg HQ are
trying to help. Currently being trialled in the US, a change in status to ‘single’ prompts Facebook to ask users if they want to
see less of their ex’s posts or limit what the ex sees of theirs. Users can un-tag themselves from posts with former partners,
and edit who sees (or doesn’t see) posts with an ex (eg, that fit guy at the gym you friend-requested). These tools are set to
be introduced over here, and as far as we’re concerned, the sooner the better. Sometimes, willpower alone just isn’t enough.
Monica and
Omar in 2012
‘He said he wanted to kiss me’

Monica Kaur, 23, is a science technician from London
I was introduced to Omar at a university ‘meet-

and-greet’ for freshers. I was 18; he was the year
above and we were on the same biomedical
sciences course. He wasn’t particularly flirty that
night, but we chatted for ages and I liked the attention.
Ater about a week or so we were definitely an item – and
spent so much time together he became an unoicial
flatmate. We ended up dating for two and a half years.
Omar was incredibly romantic – he’d give me a love letter
on each monthly anniversary. I’ve still got them in my
‘Momar’ box. He was the first boyfriend I really loved. But
AS TOLD TO HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKEUP VICTORIA BARNES.
my dad didn’t know about Omar – and still doesn’t. He’s

STYLING SOPHIE DEARDEN. MONICA AND OMAR ATE AT LONDON’S JOE ALLEN; VISIT JOEALLEN.CO.UK
very traditional, and I think he wants me to end up with

a Sikh guy (Omar is from a Muslim background). It took
a while for me to talk to my mum about relationships,
but she’s slowly getting used to the idea of me dating.
When I moved home in my third year of uni, our
relationship disintegrated. I spent a lot of time with my
family and I went from seeing Omar every day to barely
at all. Eventually, we broke up. I’ve had a couple of
relationships since, but nobody really measured up to him.
I was intrigued to catch up, and to talk about what
happened. It was great to see Omar, but we came to the
conclusion we’d been at diferent points in our lives – and
still are. Later, he told me he
wanted to kiss me, but we Would you see him again?
didn’t – it would’ve put us Yeah, definitely. It was nice
in a weird position. to see each other and hang
Seeing Omar did make me out together. But it’d only
miss what we used to have, be as friends. It couldn’t be
anything more because not
but I can’t imagine being enough has changed.
with him again.
We send two
former
sweethearts
on a date to
see what
happens…
‘I still think the world of her’

Omar Khalil, 24, is a PR news editor from London
I fancied Monica from the start. We just clicked.

Our first proper date was at Nando’s, though –
hardly romantic! She was a fantastic girlfriend –
funny and down-to-earth – and the only one
I’ve introduced to my parents. They still ask about her.
Living down the road from Monica at uni meant we saw
each other all the time. But because her parents are from a
traditional Sikh background, we kept things quiet so as not
to upset anyone. I was introduced to her mum as a ‘friend’.
When Monica wasn’t living at home, things were great,
but ater she moved back, we hardly saw each other. I was
going through a rough patch at the time. I had nowhere
to live, a demanding full-time job and exam pressures.
Monica couldn’t be there for me. That’s no reflection on
her – she’s one of the most caring people I know – it just
wasn’t possible. It was better for our sanity that we broke
up, but although I initiated it, I was still heartbroken.
It was four months before I felt ready to date again,
and nothing since has lasted longer than three months.
Now, as soon as there’s some attachment, I run away.
I hoped when Monica and I met for dinner we’d talk
about our break-up – for me, there’s always been an
element of ‘what if’. But ater talking to her, I realised we
wouldn’t have worked out. Our lifestyles are too diferent.
I still fancy Monica and
think the world of her. But Would you see her again?
I’m happy being friends – I’d Absolutely – and if she ever
rather that than nothing at all. has any problems she wants
to talk to me about, I’m here
4Would you like to be for her. We still get on really
reunited with your first love? well, but both understand
Email us at first.love@ we couldn’t carry on. ◆
cosmopolitan.co.uk.
LOVE
LETTER TO
MY LABIA
Comedian NIKKI GLASER was so insecure about
her lady parts that she considered going under
the knife. But she’s come a long way
um! NIKKI HAS A of my mum’s vagina, but it looked like know having longer labia meant you
PENIS!” My little the Wolf Boy on Ripley’s Believe It Or were an unlovable aberration. Oh, how
sister shrieked as she Not! I needed to see ones like my own, I would enlighten them!
pointed between where the foliage was sparse enough I whipped down my pants. “See!” I
my legs. We were you could make out what was pointed. I pulled them as long as they’d
taking what would happening on the forest floor. stretch. Cara screamed: “That’s what
be our last bath It was around this time that I started mine look like not stretched!” She
together. I closed doing stand-up, listening to albums by dropped her trousers. She was right –
my knees and slapped her. comedians, trying to learn everything hers were longer. She started panicking.
I was 11, and this was the first time I could about comedy. Soon, I would I realised in an attempt to make myself
I remember feeling insecure about my also learn something about myself: feel better about my vagina, I’d ruined
vulva, which from this point forward my vagina was gross and undesirable. hers. Before I could pull up my pants,
I will incorrectly refer to as my vagina I remember the exact moment it Cara was calling her ex. “Steve? It’s
to keep from sounding like a textbook. happened. I was listening to a [US Cara. Do I have long labia?” We waited.
Before that, it was a thing I peed from comedian] Dane Cook album. He She repeated the question. “I mean, I
that stung when I got soap in it. Now declared that one of his turn-ofs was guess,” he stammered. “The longest
it was a burden. girls “with a lot of lips.” My ears perked you’ve been with?” she asked “Yeah.”
I looked into the bath water. It wasn’t up. Why are people laughing? “I don’t More silence. “Is that a bad thing?” “I
a penis, but I could see what she was like when it looks like a box of cow mean… it is what it is.” And with that
talking about – that wrinkly bump tongues.” More laughter. I couldn’t she hung up. We laughed until we
that resembled a flesh-coloured Slimer help but feel victimised, cried. It was a defining
from Ghostbusters. The technical term even there in the privacy moment for us all.
is ‘clitoral hood’, which sounds like of my own bedroom. In the years that
what my clitoris would wear if it
robbed a shop.
I pulled down my
shorts and stared it
‘A quick snip- followed, I avoided letting
anyone touch me down
My mum arrived on the scene. “Oh, down. Yep, I saw some snip and my there. The night I was
Lauren, be quiet!’’ was all she said,
which to me sounded like, “Oh,
tongues. Not cow
tongues, but puppy-dog
vagina would finally first fingered, I
held my breath waiting
Lauren, we all know about Nikki’s tongues. Meanwhile, be acceptable’ for his reaction. But there
secret penis!” Dane kept on. He wasn’t one. He didn’t
The sting of shame that followed that related going down on seem deterred. Neither
bath was soon replaced by the collage a girl to getting lost in did the next guy.
of insecurities I pasted on top of it. By “a high-school-play curtain.” Shame Sure, I still hear men talk
PHOTOGRAPH GETTY. NIKKI GLASER IS AN AMERICAN STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND TELEVISION HOST
the time I was in high school, there fell over me. disparagingly about vaginas. A guy
were too many other things to hate I spent the next hour Googling I dated described his ex’s vagina as
about my body (frizzy hair that refused vagina lips. Some were shorter, some “stroke pussy” because one lip was
to straighten like Jennifer Aniston’s were longer and sure, some did look longer than the other. I’m sure his
inexplicably muscular calves) for me to like mine. But those vaginas were current girlfriend knows me as
focus solely on this thing between my always ‘before’ photos. And to the right “Rolodex pussy,” but I don’t care. He
legs. I looked at it like my armpit: I was the ‘ater’ vagina, which looked was lucky I let him search through it.
wasn’t eager to show it of or have tidy and bare. What I needed was a I still don’t love my vagina. Love is a
someone touch it, and it oten felt labiaplasty. A quick snip-snip and my strong word. I like it. I no longer want
damp for no reason. vagina would be acceptable to society. to chop it of, and for that I am proud.
In college, with the haphazard (Or at least to Dane Cook.) A couple of months ago, I
consumption of vodka, I started I decided then that as soon as I could mentioned to my boyfriend of
creeping around the bases, and it aford it, I’d have it done. And so with three years that at one point I had
seemed inevitable a boy might finally my new-found confidence in my future considered cutting of my labia. He
come into contact with the thing I vagina, I felt more comfortable talking was mystified. “Why would you want
couldn’t even remember if I should about the one I currently loathed. to do something like that?” “Because
hate or not. My motto at the time went: One night I told two college friends I thought they were long and gross.”
‘If you can’t compare yourself to others, – let’s call them Cara and Kaitlin – that “That’s insane. You have the best
how do you know if you’re allowed to I planned to have surgery. They were vagina going. You know that, right?”
like yourself?’ I once caught a glimpse confused. Like the old me, they didn’t “It is what it is.” ◆
A D U LT N O N - F I C T I O N
MY
BEST SEX
EVERWAS…
with a much older man
She was 26; he was 64. And the sex…? It definitely improves with age
When a guy gets that ‘I want in khakis and a shirt. I’d already reigned himself in, building the
to do you now’ look in his clocked his wedding ring, but he was tension by sliding two, three fingers
eyes, it’s hard not to feel obviously flirting with me. Before I inside me, teasing my G-spot.
invincible. And when you knew it, I found myself flirting back – Then, moving down my body, he
really want to know what it’s like to brushing my hair away from my face, began expertly licking me. I ground
go to bed with a man who’s 38 years touching my chest, laughing just that into him, grabbing his hair for better
older than you, and he’s the one little bit too loudly. leverage. Eventually, he slid back up
about to give you the best sex of your As the other diners drited of to and kissed me before pushing inside.
life, you count yourself pretty lucky. bed, Michael asked if I fancied a He was as hard as rock.
The first time I undressed Michael* nightcap in his room – and I didn’t Stopping just before he reached
and took in the small tuts of grey hesitate. I’d oten fantasised orgasm, he turned over
hair on his chest and slight curve about sex with an older and pulled me on top
of his belly, I’d only known him man and wanted to find out of him, while I reached
for a few hours. We met at a medical what it was really like. down to touch myself.
conference in a Seattle hotel, where In his room, he mixed ‘“I haven’t “I haven’t come like that
he was speaking. By the time I’d a gin and tonic from the come like that since I was a teenager,” he
changed out of my heels and sat
in the dining room, surrounded
minibar. I took a sip before
putting my glass down and
since I was said as we lay side by side
aterwards, exhausted. I
AS TOLD TO KATE GOULD. PHOTOGRAPH GETTY. *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED
by greying heads bent over their steak pulling him towards me. a teenager,” felt a rush of satisfaction –
dinners, I’d endured a long day of I thought he might be he admitted’ and realised (a bit guiltily)
dry lectures. Maybe that explains hesitant, but he started that part of the reason sex
what happened next. kissing me and almost with Michael felt so good
When I got chatting to Michael, immediately unbuttoned was his gratitude: sex
who was sitting at my table, we my jeans. As he stripped of, I saw with a 26-year-old was something
began with the usual small talk he was in good shape, and had he hadn’t enjoyed for decades.
until he found out I was a visitor to a broad chest and muscular legs. I assumed our afair would be a
the city. As he started describing his Michael manoeuvred me towards one-of, but ater I returned home
favourite dive bars on Capitol Hill, the bed with strong arms, putting his we stayed in touch and continued
he lit up and I felt the first hint of hand down to touch me and telling to see each other long-distance for
something… interesting. He might me in a low voice exactly what he almost a year before our afair gently
have been old – I’d have guessed intended to do with me. I’d never petered out. I’ll never forget Michael.
maybe 60 (I found out later he was felt so wanted – but although he was He helped me discover that sex only
64) – but he was dressed casually obviously desperate to fuck me, he gets better with age.
‘ISAW
THE SIGNS’
So you both love Star Wars and hate avocados – but, asks
Sloane Crosley, does that really mean he’s The One?
It’s easy to feel cinematic about each other’s references is not of a grand invitation. He
relationships. Movies – and one of them. It’s an entryway asked me to spend a week by
novels and pop songs – have to a room, not the room. ourselves at his grandmother’s
conditioned us to put our But because I met Alex in an house by the sea, adding he
past loves into plot-shaped idyllic environment as close “didn’t invite just anyone”. Did
buckets filled with signs that to The Bachelorette as I’ll ever I note how he made no plans
he was or was not The One. In come, I ignored that. I amped to stay with me in New York
our pop-culture haze, we’ve up the importance of signs, as and seemed totally uncurious
fetishised any indication that they were all I had. Our time about me? Nope. I bought
a relationship will or will not together was spent discussing a semi-sheer shirt and
work. He loves me because other people’s novels and trying borrowed a friend’s car.
he programmed the perfect to one-up each other with In bed that first night, he
ringtone into my phone! It’s witticisms. Cultural similarities abruptly announced he was
fate because he’s wearing the became our sick of having
T-shirt of my sports team! The foundation as relationships not
ne plus ultra example of this is Alex and I flirted, work out. I agreed.
the 1992 film Singles, in which built up a well He concluded,
an entire plot line revolves of private jokes, ‘It’s fate because “I don’t want to
around Bridget Fonda trying and spent the he’s wearing keep sleeping with
to get Matt Dillon to say “Bless
you” when she sneezes.
last evening
of the retreat
the T-shirt of my women unless it’s
the one I’m really
I have been in one or two of in my room. sports team!’ going to be with.”
these “Bless you” relationships What followed “Totally,” I
myself. OK, four. Five. A hard were weeks of whispered, as he
six. But out of all of them, Alex marathon phone shuffled himself
(not his real name) was the conversations between him in to the other side of the bed.
PHOTOGRAPH TRUNKARCHIVE.COM. (POSED BY MODELS)
best. And by best, I mean worst. Los Angeles and me in New A few sexless mornings
I dated Alex for four months. York. We saw each other when later, a pressing work deadline
We met on a writers’ retreat in we were in our respective cities appeared in Alex’s inbox. Since
the woods where, in addition as well, but already, out in we do more or less the same
to physical attraction, we the real world, the magic was job, I have a good idea on what
bonded over an appreciation fading. He wasn’t, in romcom constitutes ‘pressing’. Still, I
of Thelonious Monk and parlance,“letting me in”. Still, I said nothing when he locked
Orangina bottles. There are ignored his delayed text replies himself away to work. I took
many depths to plunge when in favour of our shared disdain walks to the beach by myself.
XXXXXXXXX
getting to know another for rice pudding. Then, a piece I worked on my novel at his
person. But understanding of assurance came in the form grandmother’s dining-room
Pinning their hopes table, a china clock on the
on love. Literally mantel ticking of the hours.
When I couldn’t stand it any
longer, I knocked on his door.
“Want to see something
cool?” he asked, warmly. I did.
“Check this out.” He spun
around his computer. It was a
YouTube mash-up of films with
’80s mall scenes. He’d watched
it “like, 30 times already.”
“OK”, I said, “I feel like
I should go.”
“Yeah,” he replied, looking
only mildly displeased. “I just
have so much to do.”
He walked me to my friend’s
car, where we made no plans to
see each other again. If he had
a reason for inviting me there,
I’ll never know what it was.
Looking back, searching
for superficial signs distracted
me from real questions
I should have been asking
about character and kindness;
about sensibility and sensitivity.
A year ago, I found myself
in LA with a few hours to kill.
I was in the kind of mood that
makes you want to hug people
you don’t even like. Plus, I was
dating a fantastic guy by then
(who shares only about 30%
of my pop-culture DNA). So
I texted Alex to see if he wanted
to grab a cofee. Maybe we
could be friends. He replied
36 hours later, as I boarded my
flight home, to say: ‘At hospital
watching baby monitor.’
‘‘Well,’ I shrugged, ‘at least he’s
having sex again.’
I typed ‘Bless you’ and saw the
cursor blink. Then I erased the
letters and flew back to
a place where I was loved. ◆
Sloane Crosley is the

author of essay collection
I Was Told There’d Be
XXXXXXXXX
Cake. Her first novel,

The Clasp, is out now
SEXUAL
HEALING
No topic is too taboo for Cosmopolitan’s sex psychotherapist RACHEL MORRIS
Why can’t His sex drive

HE WANTS TO KNOW
I ‘let go’? Nice girls = is too much

bad in bed?
Q I’m 24 and still
haven’t ever had My ex and
Q I love my boyfriend
to pieces, but I find
an orgasm. The intensity Q I fought all his sex drive exhausting.
He wants sex twice a day
builds OK, but just the time – but
sexually she was and I never want it. I have
when I’m supposed to
amazing. I’ve to force myself to enjoy
explode, like everyone dated nice girls
talks about, I kind of it – or fake it. I think
but none has
fizzle out. My boyfriend been great in he’s a sex addict; he says
jokes that I’m a control the sack. I want he’s just a normal bloke.
a freak in the What do you think?
freak who can’t let go
bedroom that
– could he be right? isn’t a nightmare I think forcing yourself to
out of it. have sex you don’t want
Maybe. Have you heard This question, sets really bad precedents
of the yips? It’s when a
sportsperson suddenly
I don’t assert frankly, is verging
on the ridiculous.
for the relationship you
have with yourself –
forgets how to complete myself in bed Women aren’t
performing seals.
never mind the one you
their stroke, putt or serve I’m a very confident person
Q Those who act

have with him. The fact is
because they’ve started in life, but a complete you’re entitled to say yes or
as if they are
to think too hard about pushover in the bedroom.
most likely sufer no as and when it suits you
I try to say what I want, but if a guy
what they’re doing, only from low self- – and every time you give
doesn’t get it immediately or ignores
to find that they can’t do esteem. If by up that right, you make
me, I end up doing whatever he wants.
‘nice’ you mean
it anymore. The same can What happens to me?
a person with
a powerful suggestion to
apply to an orgasm. It depth willing to your unconscious that
should work as a perfectly Society mostly rewards women for their
build a genuine your rights can safely be
willingness to sacrifice and congratulates
timed and mostly- relationship ignored. You’re in danger
men for grabbing life by the balls.
unconscious arc of tension based on trust, of feeling like a victim of
Gender equality has come a long way,
then of course
and release; we allow the but not far enough. Yes, we get kudos
the sex isn’t as
your boyfriend’s sex drive
physical stimulation to for having ambition and success, but rather than someone
great – because
wind us up, tighter and we’re still expected to maintain the
it’s real, and real, in charge of their own.
same traditional values of so-called
tighter, until we’re ready great sex requires Libido is constantly
femininity that our great-grandmothers
to trigger the climax two adults who fluctuating; it’s a delicate
had. You’re acting out internalised
understand that
(with our thoughts), then: messages about being a ‘good girl’
it’s a mutual
balance that needs regular
whoosh! The trick is not to by being nice and making their needs adjustment on both sides
responsibility
think about it at all. Focus more important. Him Tarzan; you Jane!
– not a sideshow. to achieve equilibrium.
If you want to make yourself heard,
instead on what thoughts you need to learn how to beat your
trigger you erotically and chest and yell as you swing through Have a question for Rachel?
trust your body to take the jungle of modern life. Email rachel@cosmopolitan.co.uk
you the rest of the way.
Worst Hey, we’ve all
been there...
Over dinner on our first
date, he took my hands,
dates ever He got completely wasted, ordering more

looked me in the eyes and
said, with a very serious
face, “I want to get
you pregnant.”
ANA, 22
than £30 worth of drinks. When the bill
came, he said he hadn’t brought enough
money, and asked if I could cover him.
TERESA, 32
He took me to
a restaurant and told
OPPOSITE PAGE: PHOTOGRAPH MASTERFILE. FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT RACHELMORRISTHERAPY.CO.UK. THIS PAGE: PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES
me I could only
order from the
He blurted out, “I just ‘cheap part of the
really love to casually HE TOLD ME MY BUM WASN’T BIG ENOUGH menu’. When we
hang out at hospitals…
Maybe because
AND HE WASN’T SURE IF HE’D BE ABLE TO were finshed, he
asked if I wanted
blood turns me on.” ENJOY GETTING IT ON WITH ME. to go back to his
house to watch
COLEEN, 23 STACIE, 27
a pirated film.
ANNIE*, 22
On a second date, we were ON OUR FIRST DATE,

in bed. Half-asleep, he said, Everything was going
“I love you.” Seconds later, he HE ASKED ME TO well, until we ran into

his girlfriend at the end
realised what he’d said and GO TO HIS SISTER’S of our date. He was
giving me a lit home, so
added, “No, wait, I mean, I don’t WEDDING – SIX I had to stand there and
deal with her friends’
– I DON’T LOVE YOU!” MONTHS LATER! evil glares while the two
JULIA, 26 ALEXANDRA, 22 of them had it out.
RAQUEL, 24
FERAL FACTOR
T
HOLD YOUR HORSES OVE RAT SNAKE IN THE GRASS TOTAL PIG
IN ASSOCIATION WITH
This month
we’ll be... Pampering our mums on Mother’s Day. Cosmopolitan’s
ROSIE MULLENDER reveals her plans
The lunch… The presents…

When you’re little, making your I’ll admit it, I’m the kind of girl
mum a slightly wonky lunch on who buys other people presents
Mother’s Day is considered she secretly wants herself. And
adorable. Hopefully the same I’m definitely coveting these cute
goes when you’re a fully-fledged Cath Kidston gnome accessories
adult, because when it comes to – Mum will love the PJ bottoms
cooking, the glossy cookbook (£26, sizes xs-l) and matching
pic and the end result don’t mug (£6.50). As my friends are
always match up… Still, I’ll be always saying we look so alike,
using my Jamie Oliver stainless maybe it won’t matter if we
steel pasta match on Mother’s Day – I think
machine (£40, I’ll order two sets after all…
Debenhams) to
whip her up some
home-made safron
linguine. It’s also a great
excuse to use my
gorgeous Alessi Fior
D’Olio olive oil pourer
and taster (right, £33).
The treat…
My mum loves Baileys, so I’m planning to make
her an afternoon tea with a diference, swapping
tea for a cofee with a splash of Baileys – The evening…
a simple but delicious twist. I’ll serve it with Ghosts and haunted
a Baileys cheesecake: the three-hours chilling houses don’t exactly
time is a painful wait, but it’s totally worth it scream ‘Mother’s Day’,
– a slice of sweet heaven. Find the recipe at but my mum’s got a
Cosmopolitan.co.uk/BaileysCheesecake. strange sense of humour. The memories…
It’s become a bit of a I always intend to print out pics
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY, TRUNKARCHIVE.COM
tradition for us to I’ve taken on my phone, but

head to London’s (like most of us) never quite
West End to see The get around to it. My mum’s
Woman In Black at worth the efort, though, and
the Fortune Theatre she loves having photos she
(tickets from £19.50, can hold. I’m going to use the
Thewomaninblack. Cheerz app to send her a box
com). One to be of Polaroid-style pictures
watched with delivered to her door. Boxes
nerves of steel, from start at £12.95 for 30 photos.
between your fingers.
150
BECAUSE LIFE’S ALL ABOUT THE 5-9
SWEET
DREAMS ARE
MADE OF CHEESE
Molten cheese, sandwiched
between two rafts of densely
cut bread… is there anything
more perfect than an artfully
crafted cheese toastie? Well,
yes – being one of the scientists
whose job it is to find out how
to make it. That’s right, the
American Chemical Society
actually set out to find the best
cheese to use for the job.
Turns out it’s the calcium in
cheese that helps bond it
together, but the more lactic
acid it contains, the more
the calcium “ditches its job”.
BY HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPH LEIGH BEISCH/OFFSET
The ACS found that the

optimum pH level of cheese
for the taste is between 5.3
and 5.5, so when the cheese
melts, it achieves exactly the
sort of lava-like consistency
we fantasise about. Manchego,
Gouda and Gruyère are the
way to go (or a trusty Cheddar
if all else fails). Just one word
of advice: use napkins. Lots of
napkins. No one wants a face
like a fondue pot.
151
STOCK £1
TOMATO PURÉE 40P
FLOUR 40P
SUGAR 59P
POTATOES £1.60
PORK SAUSAGES £1.70 PARSLEY 70P
PEAS £1.35 ONIONS 70P
VEGETABLE OIL 75P
TOTAL
£10 DINNER £9.19*
PARTY
Michel Roux J r ’s
SAUSAGE & POTATO CASSEROLE
What do the world’s top chefs cook at
home? We find out and dish up a recipe
that won’t punish your purse
INGREDIENTS
✱ 2tbsp vegetable oil
SERVES 4
1. Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F, gas 4). Drizzle
Take it from a man whose family ✱ 2 large potatoes, peeled half the oil over the potatoes, season and roast
tree has its roots planted firmly and cut into wedges for 25 mins until cooked. Halfway through, add
✱ salt and pepper the sausages to colour (but not fully cook) them.
in the kitchen: (Michel)in-worthy
✱ 8 pork sausages 2. Fry onions in remaining oil until caramelised.
meals needn’t carry a hefty price ✱ 2 large onions, sliced Add the flour, tomato purée and sugar. Stir, then
tag. Michel Roux Jr runs London’s ✱ 1tbsp plain flour pour in 700ml water with the stock cube.
award-winning La Gavroche restaurant, ✱ 1tbsp tomato purée 3. Bring to the boil and add the sausages;
founded by his father and uncle, and luckily ✱ 1tsp sugar simmer for 6 mins until the meat is cooked. Slice
✱ 1 beef stock cube the sausages, then add the peas and potatoes,
he’s happy to share his know-how. NB: slice
✱ 200g frozen peas keeping the pan on the heat until the veg are
the sausages diagonally; it’ll look classier and ✱ 1tbsp chopped parsley warmed through. Sprinkle with parsley to serve.
you’ll avoid the double entendres. Bon appétit!
Design doubles
Bring a hint of our green and pleasant land indoors to prep your home for spring
BLOWOUT BUDGET
Lamp, £35, Tesco
Lamp, £345, Oka
AT ASDA.CO.UK AND TESCO.COM AND ARE CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS. FIND OUT MORE ABOUT LE GAVROCHE AT LE-GAVROCHE.CO.UK. THIS PAGE: BY SALLY GILLAM
OPPOSIITE PAGE: COMPILED BY HARRIET THURLEY. PHOTOGRAPH DAVID COTSWORTH. *PRICES ARE BASED ON FULL PACKETS OF INGREDIENTS PURCHASED ONLINE
Chair, £395, Chair, £189.99,

Furniture Village My Furniture
Table, £580, Obi Furniture

Table, £195, Ikea
Coat Coat
stand, stand,
£650, £145, Candle holder,
The Dwell £3, Wilko
Conran andle holder,
Ca
Shop £12, House
Of Fraser
Clock, £75,
Houseology Clock, £29.90,
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THE LAST WORD
E
COSMOP LI A
CONTRACT
ween A Woman
This is an agreement betw (hereafter referred to as the Shopper) and Ikea
RESEARCH
Prior to visiting Ikea, the Shoppeer will do extensive
research into the exact sofa or TV unit she requires. This
6 THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS
Should the Shopper be alone, she acknowledges
that on seeing the mocked-up kitchens she may have
product will have a name like Snark kk or Snotlar. She will a crisis of confidence and ask herself questions such
end up buying neither. Instead, she will buy large amounts as,‘Will I ever be a grown-up with a real house?’
of Ikea artwork that she regrets by the time she gets home.
TRANSPORTATION
The Shopper accepts that she wwill have chosen the
7 PIT STOP
Should the Shopper have brought her boyfriend,
he will insist on eating in the Ikea café. They will both
busiest day of the year on which to
o visit Ikea. And taken endure a miserable meal of meatballs and Daim cakes.
the motorway route with the most amount of roadworks. Despite feeling sick, both will somehow still have
room for £1 hotdogs and ice cream by the tills.
THE DIP
Approximately 40 minutes afteer arrival, the Shopper
will suddenly feel overcome with m mental exhaustion and
collapse onto a giant Ektorp sofa. She
S will then seriously
8 EXITING IKEA
As the Shopper approaches the tills, she will be
seized with a sudden urge to bulk-buy lanterns, paper-
consider purchasing said item, desppite already owning thin wine glasses, spatulas and bend straws. The
the exact same one. Shopper accepts that she will assu er boyfriend that
they will be useful,‘especially wh have people round’.
THE ARGUMENT
Should the Shopper have brou ught her male partner
9 RETURNING HOME
BY FRANCESCA HORNAK. PHOTOGRAPHS ALAMY, DREAMSTIME, ISTOCKPHOTO

to Ikea, they are obliged to have at least one argument. Upon their return hom ple will
This will happen in the following p places: a) The bit congratulate each other o Ikea without
where you buy tea towels and 5,000 tealights for 5p b) In breaking up – and vow it again.
collection aisle 16… or was that 15? c) The car park where
you realise there’s no way this will all fit in the boot.
MAKING UP
10 SELF ASSE M
The Sho
assemblin
e a point of
tagramming the
The aforementioned argumen nts will climax with results an. Alternatively,
the Shopper accusing the boyfrieend of ‘Not caring’, s triggering another
at which point he will dramaticaally walk off, cooling urns on Sky Sports,
down in the children’s soft toy aarea where he will
linger until: a) The sound of ovverstimulated
exasperated parents forces him to leav
e kilo of tealights
fo ree years
Oxfam.
162

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MARCH 2016

✱ Wear who’d know better than SATC

GRO UP ED ITOR I A L PR ODU CTI ON

CO NTR I B U TI N G EDI TOR S

Editorial Business Manager MERRICK CASSANOVA

I literally can’t think

This magazine can be recycled either through

d to have a professional conversation with

A wise old man told me this. Who presumably

4 Follow me on Twitter @Farrah_Storr and

ALBERTA FERRETTI S/S16

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he doesn’t want you Big break

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Sleep style Last time I cried

skhole: a person who

A repeatedly asks your

brain that is governed by fear dictate

LIFE ONLINE STYE IT OUT

My younger sister created a blog all TWO DAYS BEFORE MY

ripped up a pair of ﬂip-ﬂops and

against a glass wall in a a pack of cigarettes. Hey, I was

“We has all seen

GRASSHOPPER ‘MANLY’ FLORAL SUITS

Floating our boat

PILLOW TALK CRYING ENABLERS

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JAMES JAGGER YOGAPLASTY

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BY LOTTIE LUMSDEN. HOLDING PATTERNS IS RELEASED ON 5 FEBRUARY. PHOTOGRAPHS FAMOUS UK,

Whoever’s idea it was

moment you’d expect someone

I love talking always all about experience.

to Kendall are more in tune with their

and Kylie older, if we’ve been burnt we

– they’re I love talking to them because

so open From a very early age,

she knew what she wanted in

was one of the best experiences

Khloé puts her all into her

I wouldn’t into arguments because she still

be as funny When I was eight and she was

if it weren’t everything – we just weren’t on

for Khloé. 18, I have my own home and I’m

The last thin I watched:

The most annoying thing

Myy f emoji: Everyone in my family

My favourite thin to do with North:

This year I’m thankful for:

I feel sexiest when: I overuse this word:

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