195 PROJECT # 6-H i DOUBLE STANDARD OF AGING Accordingly, to ively destroys a wom: “disobey the convention.” BY SUSAN SONTAG ssi enhances a man but progre: An instrument of oppression, says the author, is the social convention that liberate themselves, women must aging ieee FB Pateegt ain of ‘the Old ‘pen and lar way. ‘ordeal of tho disease, 2 soci which ts ‘much sre Ae 3 at a a pinay iif HE i teri wat nr ler pope ‘ex inst on continuing the sacred than ‘whoever ssks a woman this objective, s a arc dikes ath Spek ‘question —al noring iy may be endared. Tt is « a 708 tel es ore oe ate set 10 ‘ater ‘ich forms ter “a certain age"—is ig- Bureaucrat dowaright hostile. Al on en yal indi fre not her age?” Or, ‘ruth. Or ‘evasion, at to be obi ‘aftr "a certain ager is les threat ‘man. Othe ti cares in sh for humi coy. Bu ikes answering and m ' taboo and 1 ane ul 422 Pe sett a iil i rach iy iol te Hail Te i puigalanihl polite or ‘released. film Brother Cac. Styles of Radical Willis her latest book Sonam Sontag voroe and directed the seceney rete of eneys,196 Middle Life 286 6. SB 83g 7 a2 BEDHIBE Ha ne * AUN ii in ipaa ill | i in eat i il Re ea ai a aiimerte lh isi ta rH ena fell ehilll ilies HTH LNs Ha i wi) ae Halu iH tat PLES : Tiida ae i jis ltd : ue iyi eaedes purelisltl ae felt Hay | Beas 22 Nally iil Daeg | Hd ne ah 7 ' HAGE gut | sespgeggs 8 Ba s pga ai UA BEd Toa aa i seu edie i iia ii kyl Hi He a Hi ht ea Rule Tif eee i RANG sanhhi ah iy hein datidered maximally sligible in early youth, after which thet serual value Somoaes a Geeprte nce gulst ne 200 a the calendae, They are old a soon a8 diions” related to Jooks and age. Since women are imagined to have ‘auch more limited sexual lives than tama do, 2 woman who hat never mar- ted is pitied, She was not found ac- ceptable, and it is assumed that her We continues to confinm her unaccept- ability. Her presumed lack of sexual op- prtunity is embarassing. Aman who remains a bachelor is judged much loss udely. It is assumed that ho, at any se, stil has a serual fe—or the chance fone, For men ther is 10 destiny yuivalent to the humiliating condition sf being an old maid, a spinster. “Mr.” 1 cover from infancy to senility, prov iely exempts men from the stigma fiat attaches to any woman, no longer, young, who ia still “Miss.” (‘That wome\ sth Inter. French conventions of sex val feeling make 2 quasioficial place for the woman between thirty-five and forty-five. Her role is to initiate an in. i ul i Hag such a love afuir; biographies of relate a well-dociment le real life.) This seruel myth does rake turning forty somewhat easier for French women, But there is no diffar- fence in any of these countries in the i lier in their ‘lives than do rich people. But andlety about aging is certainly ‘more common, and more acute, among middle-class ‘and rich women than ‘among working-class women. Econom- sally dendvantaged omen in this 9. ciety are more fatalistic about aging; they can't afford to fight the commetic ‘ttle as Jong or as tenaciously, Indeed, nothing so-clearly indicates the etional nature of this crisis than the fact that ‘women who keep their youthful ap- pearance the longest—womyen who lead ‘unstrenuons, physically sheltered lives, who eat balanced meals, who can afford ood medical care, who have few ot no chidren—ara chose wi fel the de- feat of age most keenly. Aging is much , ‘more a social judgment than « biolog- ical eventuality. Far more extensive than the hard’ sonse of lose suffered The Double Standard of Aging suole. ‘Today, the surrender to aging no longer has a Bxed date, The aging crit (am speaking only of women in afi 197198 aad RANT SUNN at als yet as Cena a sais Tenn df hind nial abate ag agi abhe seit tual te ea i ea i Cee 3 8a 5 eis eae ae Br Cee Li Meu Beh! it ie Ree 7 [ae Hiei ap ey ieeeninaall big! i cael tant ae alii | ALE ae alia eua o2) Slain ahaa! HBT 33 2 oak HH ie Hui eggs Aa callin Heme dad afl: ® see an ican ey ese i mit M ith gall Tena 2 aaanEALIR Ey i 3 fh199 The Double Standard of Aging 289 yl Be a uh hia enue tilinl se u t 3 A il 4 se i portrait of herself. 't need to tamper with his ’s face is the canvas on which she paints a revised einer sss fre Aman doesn’ face. A woman’ ‘considered spends fafeminine. And a woman who yan men. do. It is, to look at them: rt "ty ten. Indeed, a woman trio i not narcissistic is virtually, their selves—to look of h ‘because of the man. Worten are more vain than ren felentless pressure on women to main- "vanity’ in women, would 1 compact mirror and touches ‘and hair, without ‘ment in font of her. h ‘AIL this behavior, which is written friends. to raakerup off as normal seem ludicrous in a ake that their clothes are not spotted br too wrinkled or not hanging properly. Tt is even acoeptable to perform this the course of a social visit activity in public. At the table in to cheoke their appearance, nothing has gone wrong with ir makesup and hairstyling. to 1 restaurant, over coffee, « woman opens simply that thei ‘up at jobs alien, Te dp 3 oral the tn red by othe Soy ted290 Middle Life tain thelr appearance at a cortain high standard, What makes che pressure ‘oven more burdensome is that there are fctually several standards. Men present themselves as fuce-and-body, a physical ‘whole, ‘Women are split, as men are fot, into a body and a face—each judged by somewhat diferent standards. What is important for 2 face is that it be beautiful, What is important for » body fs two things, which may even be (de- pending on fashion and taste) some- What incompadble: first, that it be ‘desirable and, second, that it be beaut ful. Men usually foel sexually attracted to women much more becwuse of their bodies than their fuces. The trai tsiner arouse desire—such as Beshiness—don't slways match those that fashion decrees fs beautiful. (For instance, the ideal ‘woman's body promoted in advertising in recent years is extremely thin: the kind of body thet looks more desirable clothed than naked.) But women's con- ‘corn with their appearance is not sim ply geared to arousing dere in men. Te i r t E r § records the progressive, sta life. And since he doesn’t tamper with his face, € is not separate from but is ‘completed by his body—which is judged attactive by the impresion it gives of ely ergy. By conan, « wom aris face is ly separate from hher body. She does not treat it natural- istically. A woman's face ls the canvas ‘upon which she paints a revised, core reed power of heel, One of the bodies through any activity, strenuous Tules of this creation is that the face or not; and physical strength and eo ‘not show what she doesn't want i¢ to durance are hardly valued a¢ all. The show. Her face an the feminine self proceed a through clothes and other sig type to the very effort of girt of her to look attractive, to their commitment ot to please. When boys become men, they bow may go on (especially if they hive especialy ssdentary jobs), practicing a sport o as ding exerci fo whl; Most he « wwe their appearance alone, having soribes on been tained to ‘more or less are much more heavily, what nature has out to them. ‘men, (Men may start doing exarcises again 2 their daughters (but never their tons): fear of heare attacks among the middle- ‘You look ugly when you ery. Stop wore aged in rich countries—not for oot tying, Dont read too much, Crying, metic reasons.) As one of the norms of Howning, squinting, even laughing— “femininity in this society is being pre fll thove human activities make “lines.” occupied, with one's physical appear ‘The same usage of the face in men is ance, 20 “masculinity” means not caring judged quite positively, In a man's face very much about one's looks. lines are taken to be signs of “charac- This soclety allows men to have ten They indicate emotional strength, much more affirmative relation to theie mmaturity-qualities far more esteemed bodies than women have. Men are mare {in men than in women. (They show be “at home” in their bodies, whether they has “lived.") Even scars are often not treat them casually or use them aggre they too can add sively. A man's body is defined as « “Character” to a man’s face, But lings strong body. It contains no coniradic- of aging, any sear, even a scnall birth ~ tion between what is felt to be attrac. mark on a-woman'sface, are always ce- tive and what is practical. A woman's garded as unfortunate blemishes, In ef. body, so far as it is considered atirac: Roce, people take character in men to be tive, is defined as a fragile, ight body different from what constitutes charac (Thos, women worry more than ten da ter in women. A woman's character is about being overweight.) When they thought to be innate, statio—not the do exercises, women avoid tho onet product of her experignce, her years, that develop the muscles, particulaly ‘otions. A woman's face is prized those in the upper arms. Being “femb so far as it remains unchanged by (or nine” means looking physically weak, ‘conceals the traces of) her emotions, frail. Thus, the ideal women's: body i fee physical rake-taking. Ideelly, i i one that is not of much practical use ia tre, and the ideal woman's face is one reached its rexually acceptable form by tii is "perect” it seeme a calamity late adolescence, most further develoo~ Shen a woman bas a disfiguring acci- ment is viewed as negative, And it is ent. A broken nose or a scar ora bum thought irresponsible for women to do mark, no more than rogrettable for a what is normal for men: simply leave nan, ia terrible prychologieal wound their appearance alone. During ently to a woman; objectively, it diminishes youth they are likely to come as close hher value. (As is well known, most cl as they ever will to the ideal image— tents for plastic surgery are women.) slim figure, smooth firm skin, light sus. Both sexes aspire to a physical ideal, culature, graceful movements, Their but what a expected of boys and what is task is to try to maintain chat image, expected of gitsinvolvesavery diferent unchanged, as long as possible. im- ‘moral relation to the self, Boys are en- provement’ as, such is not the task ‘ouraited to develop their bodies, t re- Women care for their bodies—egninst gard the body as an instrument to be toughening, coarsening, getting fat. iproved. They invent their masculine — They conserve them. (Perhaps the fact elves largely through exereize and that women in modern societies tend Sport, which harden the body and to have a more conservative politcal Srengthen competitive fealings; clothes outlook than men originates in their fe oom secondary tip making profoundly conservative eaon fo hoz their bodies attractive, Girls are not particalarly encouraged to develop their In the life of women in this sociery i201 ‘The Double Standard of Aging 291 ret suet li wptuteaddale iL iy oe i iu selves did not aquiesce in it. ally ie insy pile pes Ef i Hy Hal Hehiaaelt pAerenatiy in halal We nh Ge ei ba Ae i Ss. <é Hs Hh il te z Wk 4 Pads I a a val bat ity is operated work if women them- The system of ineq by men, but it could not NO how ‘exotio the creams or 44 t i th g ‘im men. Men are “al lowed" t look older without sexual beyond its youthful ring, in one's mid-twenties, ‘eyes and mouth. From about thirty an, the skin gradually loses its tonus, fa women this perfectly nat. tral process is regarded as 2 humiliating defeat, while attractive in the equivalent each cate defeat nature: to ii the face unlined, the waist slim, ‘children takes its toll: the torso ‘thicker, che skin is stretched. There is no way to keep certain lines ‘nobody finds anything re- ep Bearing, toga "Thus, the reason that women experi= iin ies ecg 2 diverted into this passionate, ideal, static appearar grogress of age. Tho fret the diets, one cannot indefiitely imahably on ghieal changes round. the ably, develops matter how becomes from appen fort to Ae psi202 Every wrinkle, every line, every grey They are ways of defending themselves been deformed in a society that has up Ihas, is adefeat. No wonder that no boy against a profound level of disapproval to now defined beautiful as white. Py rminds becoming a man, while even the directed toward women, a disapproval chological tests mado on young black pases fom gritood to ealy woman- shat cn ake the form of vernon, The children in, the United State emt is experienced by many women double standard about aging converts years ago showed how early and bow as their downfall, for all women aro the life of women into an inexorable thoroughly they incorporate the white standard of good ‘trained to want to continue looking like looks. Virtually all girls, the children expressed fantasies that This is not to say there are no beau- The profoundest indicated they considered black people tiful older women. But the standard of to be us + funny looking dirty, brush ‘beauty in a woman of any age is how by «A similar’ kind of selfhatred infeos far she retains, or how she manages to most women. Like men, they find old simulate, the appearance of youth. The age in women “uglier” than old age it ‘exceptional woman in her sixties who is men, beautiful certainly owes a large debt to ‘This esthetic taboo functions, in sex hor genes. Dela ual atltades, ag a racial taboo. In ts fooks, tends to run it i. society most people feel an involuntary ture rarely offers enough to moat this recoil of the desh when imagining + meer f young ean" acy as any wale wa 2 young iy a8 many whet ‘of age are rich, rs flinch viscerally at the thought of ¢ to devote to nurturing aloag nature's ‘white woman in Bed with a lace mas 3, Often they re ears eet ace oo eng fHond ‘of twonty-aigt contain to famaioure) Such stretly sexual outrage, whatever symp Dietrich, Stalla Adler, thy people may have forthe abandoned donot ‘challenge wie, On the contrary, Everyone “ue relation between derstands.” Everyone knows that men ‘canto they are exceptions, because they men. But 20 ong “under hhave managed (af leat 50 Stands” the reverso station. A. womaa Photographs) to outwit nature. Such of forty-five wha loaves a husband of Miracles, exceptions made by nature fifty for a lover of tenty-eight isthe ), only confirm the rule, because or hairopray, used bya man, is not part at a deep level of feeling. No one takes oom beaut of a . Men, a8 men, do not feel exception to a romantic couple in which ful to us is precisely that they do not the need to disguise themselves to fend th man Is twenty years or more the ‘no off morally disapproved signs of aging, woman's senior. ‘The movies pair [o- ‘who does took like an Monroe and Joseph Cotten, Audrey old woman—e woman who might be Hepburn and Cary Grant, Jane Fonda ke Picasso at the age of ninety, boing ‘Yves Montand, Catherine Dencuve Bhotopan oatdoors on his ta tnd Marcello Mastroianni as in actual south of France, wearing only shorts Iie, these are perfectiy plausible, 29- and sandals, No one imagines such a pealing couples. When the age. difer ‘woman exists, Even the special excep- fence runt the other way, people are tons—Mas West & Co—are slwaye puzzled and embarrasied. and mpl photographed indoors, cleverly i, from ror felt at aging female flesh, Te reveals shocked. (Remember Joan Crawford the most Battering angle and fully, aré- a redical fear of women installed deep und Cliff Robertson in Autumn Leaves? fully clothed. The implication is they in this culture, a demonology of women But so troubling is this kind of love ‘would not stand a closer scrutiny. The that has crystallized in such mythic story that it rely figures inthe movies, ‘dea of an old woman in a bathing sait caricatures as the viren, the virago, the and then only as the melancholy history being atractve, or oven rt acoop- vamp, andthe with. Sovera centri oft fae.) Tho ual vew of why + ‘is inconceivable, An older of witch-phobla, during which one of woman of forty and a boy of twenty, re. the oruclet extermination programs in oF @ women of fifty and « man of thirty, live—ainless, infact, she doesn’ look Western history was carried out, sug- Tharry 1s that tho man is seeking. 4 ‘ld at all. The body of an old woman, gest something of the extremity of this mother, not a wife; no one believes the unlike that of an old man, is always un- fear. That old women are repulsive is marriage will lat. For a woman to ro derstood as « body that ema no longar one ofthe most profound esthetic end spond erotically and romantically to + te shown, offered, unveiled. At best, erotic feelings in our culture. Women man who, in terms of his age, could it tume. People still share it at much as men do, (Oppres- be her father is considered normal. A feel uneasy, thinking about what they sors, as a rule, deny oppressed people man who falls in love with a woman ig ee she hit oum "naive" standards of teuny who, however atoacv se ayo, clothes ‘oppressed end up being con- old enough eo be bis mother js thought ‘Thus, the point for wanes wi drut vinsed that they are ugly.) How wom- to be extremely neurose (victim of an {ng up, applying makeup, dyeing their en are psychologically damaged by this “Oedipal Gxation” is the fashionable hair, going on crash dicts, and getting misogynistic idea of ‘what 14 beautiful tag), if not mildly contomptible. face its is not Just t be atactive: the way in which blacks have the wider the gap tn ag beoween203 293 came 3 fa a CCRT AGHRIEE (SHEA PaTpieuntattine geen aul ara, Ue ate el Hed jell Gaia aide: ditypalnintce bullae uN ut i eb dade eer aulin nin: il eel ec Hulton fink lita qi weit USUI aga | Bau gi : eauee aad) TUR Ge hit Ra ie Buea i Ais wl cuits | lee eles Hil tl H vile eeu al doh AINE uth BAY Puan] pied qe TE: BIE 3 ile Hl nile He Hot eal eu ili] a ar Hite alateaaelael flu 1 alk eae ith fu ai yey etd Gaetan laren aRLAIREL204 294 Middle Lije 2a iE tH atti aly H hunt af p Wa (ily! Halt a Ape angie ee i il ol ui Hl He ae hai i ren ea Beal i Hae ee al hllel ie isikt