Theme: Family

Devotion: Eph.5:15-17

Text: Eph.5:15-6:4

Title: The Heart of the Family

Introduction:
Good morning to every one of you. Before we begin, let us have a word of prayer…
As we continue on the theme of family for this month, today we will see what the bible teaches
to us about on the important lessons concerning the family. To have a family that is intact
should be the norm for everyone, but in our time today we see it as already a great blessing
from God. But existing, we will learn, is not enough. The bible teaches clearly the design that
God had intended for the family, and it is only through following God’s purpose we can truly say
that our family life is a success. The biblical family is not just in danger of the external forces
attacking it, but also of the ignorance and lack of obedience from within the household of God.
As with everything else concerning our lives, if the purpose of God is not being followed, there
will be a lack of joy, a lack of motivation, and a lack of satisfaction, no matter what it is that we
are doing. We have heard of the hope of the family, and today, let us pay close attention to The
Heart of the Family.

Exegetical Idea: The word of God clearly tells us the blueprint of the family as designed by God.
The only way we could be successful in the building up of the family is by learning and obeying
what the will of God is for the whole family.

Proposition: Brothers and sisters in the Lord, to those of us who are planning to start a family,
and to those who are already in the process of building up a family, let us look carefully at how
God’s word speaks about the Christian family, what matters the most within it, and what we
must do so that we find success in our homes.

Interrogative: What does God’s word tell us?

I. The Foundation we must build upon – Eph.5:15-21

Before we get into the heart of the matter, we must first understand the background of
our study. A Christian family is made up of individuals who have placed their faith and trust in
our God and savior Jesus Christ. And though there are some here whose family are not yet
believers, we are still under the lordship of Jesus Christ, and we should seek to obey Him in our
lives first and foremost. This is what we find in our text: Eph.5:15-21. Here Paul gives the
commands to individual Christians:

A. Be wise and not foolish – v.15-17

All of us would agree that the days are truly evil, and people are doing
unimaginable things in our time today. We see how evil is being normalized and
justified, especially concerning the family that God designed. The biblical and godly
concepts of relationships, marriage, love, and success have already been thoroughly
twisted and corrupted that they are taken as the standard of living in the world. We
need the wisdom of God desperately in our lives, and the way to wisdom is
understanding the will of God; not just understanding and learning, but applying it to
how we walk and live. Living against the purposes of God is living foolishly, which is how
the world got to this point in the first place. The wisdom of the world looks and sounds
neat, but in application we see the destruction it brings. We seek to understand God’s
will by hearing and obeying the Word of God, like we are doing today.

B. Be filled with the spirit and not wine – v.18

In relation to the preceding command, to be filled with wine was to lose your
senses; to self-indulge in the pleasures of the flesh to no profit. When a person is
intoxicated they lose their sound mind and careful judgment of things. They lose all
sense of their inhibitions, and leads to losing their self-control. Under these definitions,
many things, activities, or pleasures can lead to such evil things, and the command tells
us we are to avoid them. Life on earth is already hard as it is, let us not make it any
harder for ourselves. Instead the bible tells us to be filled with the Spirit, that is the Holy
Spirit. Being filled by the Holy Spirit leads to greater self-control, along with the other
fruits of the spirit. Gal.5:(love, Joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and
gentleness.) All of the things we need and are desirable and useful in our lives and our
families as well.

C. Give praise and thanks to God always – v.19-20

Being filled with the Spirit is not like the indwelling of the Spirit, which is a one-
time thing only. To be filled with the Spirit is to continually submit ourselves to the
power and purpose of our God, every single day. The result of this spirit filled life is a life
that brings praises and thanksgiving to God whatever our situation or circumstances
maybe. There are a lot of families who are in dire need of repair in our community
alone, and some of them may look hopeless in our eyes. Whatever we may be facing in
our family, we can still give God the glory through our praises and through our giving of
thanks to His name, for we are forgiven and redeemed, despite our sin and human
condition. Familial and relational problems can never hinder our worship to God.
Remember Jesus Christ, despite losing everyone who called Him master, teacher, or
friend, carried the burden of the cross; of all our sins even when He was alone. Even
when despised and ridiculed He alone brought the greatest glory to the name of God.

D. Submit to one another – v.21

Mutual submission in the Kingdom of God is a must, but it must also be done in
the proper way and context. Mutual submission does not erase the standard of
authority that God has set in the home and the church. It does not mean to compromise
the truth of the word of God for the sake of relationship or fellowship. Submission
according to the word of God is to have a servant attitude: a humble heart, and an
attitude of seeking another’s well-being. As Jesus Christ showed us when He washed
 the feet of His disciples: Jn.13:12-17 even though Jesus did this thing, He was still Lord
and master of them all. Our mutual submission to one another is because of our
obedience and submission to Jesus Christ.

Application:
The way that God will change the family starts with the individual believers with in it.
When our faith in God is put into practice, the family then is continually molded and
transformed by God according to His purpose so that He is continually glorified in the lives of
His people.

Let us now continue to the biblical truths that God has reveal about the family, and how we
must conform regardless of what this world says. Obeying these commands and standard
ensures us that our family life will be successful against the many challenges we may face.

II. The Christian wife – Eph.5:22-24

Even if you are not yet married or not yet planning to get married, as a woman you need
to learn of the things that God has said concerning the role of the wife in a marriage. You might
need it one day.

A. Yield to God’s purpose – v.22

v.22 God had made everything with a purpose according to His own will and
design. The bible then tells us that the wife must submit to her husband, the same way
she submits to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Submission here has nothing to do with the
equality of man and woman, as they are both equal beings in the sight of God.Gen.1:27
What it means here is to submit to the authority and role that God had ordained for
women, which is to submit to their own husband. Jesus Christ Himself was equal with
the Father in His deity, submits Himself to Him.Jn.5:30 Take note that it does not say for
wives to submit to ALL men, but to their own singular husband which had been made
one flesh by God in their union. This has been God’s purpose from the beginning, and it
is only by the submission of the wife to the husband that God’s will is followed.

B. Yearn for God’s glory – v.23-24

v.23-24 Paul places great emphasis of the image of Christ and the church being
reflected in the relationship of the husband and wife. The husband is the head of the
wife as Christ is the head of the church, and as the church freely submits to Christ so the
wife should do with her husband as well. But a great difference arises in comparing a
husband to Christ: to submit to Jesus Christ is easier, for He is perfect in every way, full of
loving kindness and compassion, and He never fails. Compared to husbands, well, we all
get the idea. Husbands are imperfect, at times insensitive and unaffectionate, and many
of them are forgetful. Yet the word of God stands, this is the will of God for every wife
that seeks to be Godly. The motivation here is the glory that is given to God when you
obey Him, despite the struggles and the imperfections. The main reason a wife should
submit to her husband’s leadership in the home is to please and obey God. If you
challenge or undermine your husband’s leadership, you are resisting the lordship of
 Christ Himself in your life. A reminder: You should never obey your husband if it means
disobeying a clear command of God. But even then, you can display a submissive
attitude and appeal to him out of love and respect. 1 Pet. 3:1-4 Your goal in submitting
to your husband will always be to build him up and to glorify God.

III. The Christian husband – Eph.5:25-30; 6:4

In the same way, listen up you men of God: whether married or unmarried this is what
the bible tells us of our role in the family that is built up by God. v.25-30

A. Mirrors Jesus’ servant leadership

Husbands are not called to submit to their wives, that much is clear, but they are
called to submit to Christ the same way wives are to submit to Christ. And the command
that husbands are to follow is to love their wives as Jesus Christ Himself loved the
church. The bible is specific with regards to the topic discussed for each role: authority
for the wife, and love for the husband. Husbands, never misuse or abuse the authority
that God has given you in the family. Follow the example of Christ, who as we have read
earlier was teacher, Lord, and master, yet washed the feet of His disciples. Jesus
modeled to us servant leadership both in the church and in the family. Making use of the
imagery of the passage itself gives us another example: 1Pet.5:1-4 is servant leadership
applied to pastors and elders of the Church, and in the same way can be applied to the
husband of the family. Husbands are to be servant-leaders, and not bosses of their
wives.

B. Mirrors Jesus’ Sacrificial love

Jesus Christ did not spare anything for the sake of His church: He gave up His own
life so that the church would be saved and sanctified for His glory. Not just His own life,
mind you, great as that may be: the cost which God had paid for us is something that we
can never truly fathom. He laid aside His own divine right, took on human flesh, and
became obedient in every way to the father, even to His own death on the cross. He who
was forever Holy was made sin for our sake. 2Cor.5:21 When Jesus loved: He did not
shout while seated on His throne; He did not proclaim it from the comfort of the
heavens. When Jesus loved, He showed it while nailed on the cross. This is the most
amazing love, which every Christian has known and felt. Again, husbands are to love
their wives the same way: THE SAME WAY Christ loved the church. husbands may not
have the duty of submission as wives do, but we have the responsibility of loving
sacrificially our wives as Christ did for the church. Husbands, like Christ, are to lay aside
their own rights, their own comfort, their own pleasures, their own pursuits, their own
time, for the sake of their wives. You are to regard her needs above your own. To love
sacrificially is to spare nothing in your love for your wife. This kind of love does not
negate the authority of the husband, the same way that God’s love towards us does not
diminish His deity or Lordship in any way. A reminder: Husbands are commanded to love
their wives, but not to worship them, or give up their authority to them in any way.
Again the goal is the same: to glorify God in our family life.
IV. The Christian children – Eph.6:1-3
Those of you who have not yet married are still under the relationship model of Parent
and child. Parents have their own responsibility to their children: Eph.6:4, but children have
theirs as well.

A. Obedience in the Lord is right – v.1

v.1The submission that children practice under the lordship of God is toward
their parents. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord, for this is right, and the will
of God for them. It is very similar in situation to the submission of wives to husbands:
there are no perfect parents, yet the bible tells us to obey them. One big qualifier here
however is the phrase “in the Lord”. Obedience to parents are a must for all children,
however when the time arises that obeying your parent would mean disobeying God,
children are to choose what is pleasing to God instead. The same principle in application
concerning submission to earthly authority: God commands us to submit to governing
authorities,Rom.13:1-2 But we can see how godly people chose to disobey them if it
meant disobeying God: Acts4:18-20; Acts5:27-29 these by no means contradict one
another, nor does it negate our responsibility to obey our parents in other matters. It
just means our highest priority of submission is to God Himself, and everything else
follows it.

B. Give your parents due honor – v2-3

v.2-3 The bible makes it clear that Parent-child relationship is temporary and
Husband-wife relationship is permanent: Eph.5:31; Mk.10:6-9 children will one day
leave their parents, and will become joined together with their spouse. The parent-child
separates, but the husband-wife should not separate under any circumstance. But even
though married people have become independent of their parents, the command of
God still stands: honor them. Even though we can disobey parents because of our
greater obedience to the Lord, the command stays the same: honor your parents. Even
those of us who already have our own families, we should still honor our parents. This is
the will of God for us all. Honoring our parents have nothing to do with them being good
or being bad parents. Honoring them is a direct result of obeying God. We are to respect
themProv.30:17, obey them in the Lord, love them, and take care of them as they grow
older even if we have our own families to consider. 1Tim.5:3-4;8 While children will one
day mature and become independent of their parent’s control, the bible tells us we are
to honor them as long as we are their children. This command comes with a promise
from God.

Conclusion:
For my conclusion, brothers and sisters in the Lord, to know of these truths long before
you would need them is a great blessing from God. But I know that there are many of you who
had already entered into marriage and family life before you came to faith in Jesus Christ, and I
know realistically that what the bible tells us is really not easy. However, it is also not impossible
in any way. The same way that God has transformed you individually: cleansing you, forgiving
you, sanctifying you, redeeming you, God can also do to our families, if we obey His word, and
His purpose. When we put Christ at the center of our family, of our relationships, only then will
our homes shine in this world, and only then will we find success. The family remains intact,
their relationship within strengthened, and ultimately, God is glorified. To God be the Glory.