Erica Ronda Birth of a Nation.

pdf
by Erica Ronda

Submission date: 15-Jan-2019 08:34AM (UTC-0500)

Submission ID: 1064363841
File name: Erica Ronda Birth of a Nation.pdf
Word count: 669
Character count: 3214
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Erica Ronda Birth of a Nation.pdf
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

86
You have some really strong elements to this, but your
overall sentence structure, voice, and argument could
use some work to create a cohesive paper. You have a
lot of errors and some issues when it comes to run on
sentences. But, the main issue is the structure of the

/100
paper. I get lost in exactly what you are arguing and
have to pull back to remember what point you were
making as I read. The main idea was that the historical
context justifies it? But why? And how does what you
say support that?

PAGE 1

Comment 1
Combine.

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Additional Comment

fight (active voice)

QM Awk.
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.

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Comment 5
Combine. What is that message?
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QM Awk.

Comment 6
Good.

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QM Sentence Structure

Comment 8
Combine

QM Run-on
Run-on sentence:
The sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

Strikethrough.

QM Weak Transition
Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your paragraphs
relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also"
or "in addition" offers a weak transition from the previous point, even though it may develop a highly
interesting and related point.

PAGE 2

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Allows

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that

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is
logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader
to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like
"because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear
wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Comment 13
Missing? Did you proof?

Strikethrough.

Strikethrough.

Comment 16
no comment

Comment 17
Condense.

Comment 18
Is this the topic sentence?

Comment 19
This should be reworded and use BON as the subject. Like: Birth of a Nation shows how war impacts
people through the way the stonemans were changed. THEN you go on to give examples and
support.

Comment 20
This doesn't fit. It fits your first sentence but I feel like you should make this its own point.

PAGE 3
 Comment 21
I've forgotten what your paper was arguing.

GRADING FORM: PAPER FORM

ERICA RONDA 86
GRAMMAR

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STRUCTURE

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VOICE

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CLARITY

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SUPPORT

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