BEING ‘ BIBI’ : Recognising the relevance of Sexual Desire in the disabled in

Jhumpa Lahiri’s ‘ The Treatment of Bibi Halder’

The attitude of the Indian society towards Disability has been one of discontent, scorn
and contempt. Such individuals are rarely or never included within the periphery of a
so called ‘able’ ‘fit’ ‘normal’ society.’ Consequently, their desires, wishes or longings
are never considered to be substantial or worth consideration. Disability therefore can
be pitted against the same parameters as far as the understanding of taboo is
concerned. The Disabled have been exerting their presence through direct action in
the present times. Use of Blockades, protests, pickets and occupational symbols have
been made in order to voice their opinion of all kinds, primarily sexual. Gone are the
days when the television would be abounding of analogies like that of
‘MANTHARA’ and ‘SHAKUNI’. Movies like ‘The Sessions’(2012), ‘Margarita with
a Straw’(2014), talk openly about the desires of these individuals which need to be
compulsorily addressed. Therefore they are now ‘coming out’ to talk about their
expression of sexual identity demanding a much awaited acceptance and
normalisation. In this aspect, it would be not incorrect to say that there is a common
theme which connects Disability and sexuality- sexual cravings, desires and wants
also have never received the opportunity of being accepted openly in the Indian
society. Although scientifically proven to be one of the most natural of all human
impulses the fact of its un-acceptance serves as a great paradox. The working
definition of sexuality as provided by World Health Organisation is as follows :- “
Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex,
gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and
reproduction.”
Disability scholars Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells and Dominic Davies
describe about the Social model of Disability in their book, The Sexual Politics of
Disability: Untold Desires which has constantly been attaching this idea of sexuality
to the individual. The person does not function outside the periphery of being
disabled-therefore reducing it to be a major flaw of his existence. The social model
suggests that people with impairment are disabled by society, not by their own bodies.
Therefore the idea of sexuality is built around their pre-conceived notions, ideas and
concepts rather than any scientific background. “This radical re-interpretation shifts
the site of the problem from the disabled person, whose body does not work, to
society, which is unprepared to accept disabled people.” (2, 1996) The amendment
according to this model is required to be brought about in the people who are dealing
with them rather than the disabled individuals themselves. The Social Model of
Disability re-locates the problem to the people misinterpreting disability rather than
disabled person himself. Tools, methods and ideas lack in this society which can deal
with their issues and address their needs.
Another prevalent idea is that of the Medical Tragedy Model, which diminishes the
disabled to be weak, fragile and their sexuality is either non-existent or if at all
existing- a serious problem. The American writer Milton Diamond has discussed
about the morbidity of the society to deal with sexual issues of the disabled. Among
all the issues that they deal with, sexual needs rank last. ‘While they recognize that
these art valid issues, they generally wish the sexual concerns to be ignored; they
want them to sort of “go away”, since they are ill, at ease dealing with them, and don’t
really know how to handle the issues’ (Diamond, 1984:210).
This paper wishes to establish the grounds of interpreting sex as perceived by a
Disabled individual- Bibi, the protagonist of the short story ‘ The Treatment of Bibi
Halder’ written by Jhumpa Lahiri. The Disability act 2005 set out the definition of
disability as, ‘Disabilty in relation to a person, means a substantial restriction in the
capacity of the person to carry on a profession, business or occupation in the state or
to participate in social and cultural life in the state by reason of an enduring physical,
sensory mental health or intellectual impairment.’
Epilepsy is defined to be a neurological disorder whose exact causes still remain
unknown. Epilepsy can have both genetic and acquired causes. The character of Bibi
can said to be suffering from congenital Epilepsy; therefore a thin line exists between
Bibi being disabled and diseased. No scientific or medical artefact has deemed
epileptic individuals to be unfit for sex as a means of recreation or procreation. On the
other hand, the Indian society has not been very welcoming to the concept of sex
education. Needless to say, people with disabilities whose conditions are worse than
‘perfectly-abled individuals’ lack sex education- the common ‘crowd’ is of the view
that all disabled are asexual and as we can simultaneously conclude- such a social
construction is nothing but a farce. Bibi is no exception to the presence of such that
are being ideas harnessed by the society. She is considered to lack basic rationality
and logical ability possessed by her sex belonging to the same cultural background:
“The girl knows nothing about anything, speaks backward, is practically thirty, can’t
light a coal stove, can’t boil rice, can’t tell the difference between a fennel and a
cumin seed. Imagine her attempting to feed a man!”(pg-163).
The protagonist is reduced from the existence of a human too. She is neither a
woman, neither a human-but a burden on life and society.
Women’s Health Training Research and Advocacy Cell (WOHTRAC), based in
Vadodara, Gujarat has been working since 1992 to promote a holistic perspective and
a wider definition of Women’s health. From its years of experience of working on
issues of women’s health especially reproductive health, WOHTRAC found that
disabled women do not feature in the Women’s Health Discourse.
The introduction of the story gives the readers an idea that the protagonist is being
described with a pathogenic impression. It shows that the character is nothing other
than the disability. Her ailment is attached to the article ‘an’ indicating its nature to
be obscure. But her identity revolves around it. Her difficult to interpret disease had
led her to be confined in an enclosed space making her appear as a ‘tamed’ animal
who can escape into animosity and banality if brought out in the open:
“Her daily occupation consisted of sitting in the storage room on the roof of our
building , a space in which one could sit, but not comfortably stand,. For her services
Bibi received no income but was given meals, provisions, and sufficient meters of
cotton at every October holiday to replenish her wardrobe at an expensive
tailor.”(pg159)
Though this theme and the fact that she longs to marry and lead a family prevails from
the very beginning. The paraphernalia and the idea of marriage is constantly being
repeated by Bibi and the craving just cannot be ignored. The wedding pictures of the
other woman are cherished by her making her picturise herself in their roles. She has
observed the common roles played by a house-wife and internalised them imagining
her opportunity to perform the chores. With so much of desires present in the
character, the paradox lies in the fact that the possession of these desires are deemed
‘abnormal’ or ‘ illogical’ in the case of Bibi. Her seizures comprised of her frustration
or inability to make people understand her innermost feelings:
“Is it wrong to envy you, all brides and mothers, busy with lives and cares? Wrong to
want to shade my eyes , scent my hair? To raise a child and teach him sweet from
sour, good from bad?’’(pg-160)
The character Bibi is a symbol of dual oppression of both disability and sexism in
a male dominated patriarchal structure. Her powerlessness is greater as she is a
‘disabled woman.’ She is not included or considered a part of the family. To borrow a
term from Garland-Thomson’s - Bibi belongs to a disenfranchised and excluded
group. The primary theme of the text is the plight and anxiety of the female subaltern
as it follows the aftermaths of the globalization process in the life of a native Indian
woman who is a victim of both destitution and homelessness.
In a 2017 paper, ‘Sexual Rights of Women with Psychosocial Disabilities: Insights
from India’, the author notes:
In the contexts of persons living with mental illness, some of the stereotypes include
hyper sexuality , promiscuity, dis inhibition and inappropriate sexual expression.
Some of the primary motives of sex include marriage as cure of illness, as source of
unpaid long term care, assurance for old age and so on.” “Disabled women are not
simply regarded as women-they are encouraged to be child-like and apologetic
towards able-bodied society, which judges them as being better dead than alive.
Eva Tiges (1930-2012), an English feminist in her book, Patriarchal Attitude
challenges the myth that motherhood is fulfilling and criticises both Freudian
Analysis and the institution of marriage. The manner in which female identity was
constructed was dependant more on the societal structure rather than the inherent
biological traits. Therefore Bibi’s constant desire to be married can definitely be
interpreted as the usual longing of a 29 year old Indian woman to want sexual
gratification.
She laments the fact that she lacks sexual reciprocation and desire:
“ Where do I go, Who would I dress for?” she demanded. “Who takes me to the
cinema, the zoo-garden, buys me lime soda and cashews? Admit it, are these concerns
of mine? I will never be cured, never married,”
In the story, ‘motherhood’ is emphasized rather than the fulfilment of sexual desires.
The former process can be easily proclaimed to be the resultant process of the latter.
But motherhood is not all that this woman desires, sexual satisfaction and love she
affirms are followed by it.
Throughout the story, Bibi expresses a strong desire to be married and to give vent
to her repressed sexual and emotional needs. Whether this is a personal need or the
need to belong to the communal identity, of course remains unknown. The community
appears to have a female voice as the story is narrated in the 1st person and the
original author is female. Lahiri, needless to say, has created a protagonist with
unusual will and determination. All through 29 years, this woman has been denied
even the commonplace role that a woman plays in the society. She is treated as a
burden in her own family-a burden that desperately needs to be eased off as soon as
possible. Bibi is different- her neurogical disability has separated her from her own
family. She is not a part of their existence and no one would like to keep any evidence
of her existence.
“ Apart from my X-rays I have never been photographed”, she fretted.
Bibi’s existence is considered to be evilish and she is conveniently to be erased once
she is no more. She engages in an illegitimate relationship (the legitimacy and
illegitimacy of sexual relations are determined by society too) and bears an
illegitimate child. Her sexual and emotional wants are gratified for the 1st time and
consequently Bibi is cured. Her fulfilment of sexual needs earn her a place of social
inclusion also within the society. In a country like India,fulfilments of sexual desires
are not openly accepted until and unless ‘motherhood’ comes along with it. Several
interpretations of the tale present the fact that probably Bibi had undergone a sexual
assault but such a hint is not left by the author. What was worth taking into
consideration is that Bibi was now a responsible, self-dependable identity.
“Within a month, Bibi had recuperated from the birth, and with the money that Halder
had left her, she had the storage room white-washed, and placed padlocks on the
windows and doors.”(pg-172)
The society determines the characteristics of the sexual partner too. Since she suffers
from a neurological disorder, therefore she cannot be found worthy of a ‘suitable’
man’s desire. Her motherhood is believed to have arrived due to ‘disgrace’. The
suspects needless to say, range from the lower sections of the society. Throughout the
story, we see that Bibi is considered ‘sick’ as she suffers from epilepsy. Also, this
sickness arises from the fact that she has never been able to attract the opposite sex or
prove her ability to serve as a sexual partner. Disabled Bibi appears to perform all
societal duties in a proper manner once she encounters sexual satisfaction. ‘Sexual
Relations and Motherhood’ end up being the antidote for a girl who remains sick all
her life.
“In this manner she raised the boy and ran a business in the storage room, and we did
what we could to help.”(pg172). The ‘disability’ leads Bibi to become the ‘other’ in
the household. The disability is nothing but basically the reasons why Bibi is unable
to be included into the ethnic cultural code. This ‘other’ has no room for desiring or
being desired. The author describes Bibi as ‘’she was not pretty. Her upper lip was
thin, her teeth too small. Her gums protruded when she spoke.” She is a source of
disgust, abject and horror. The identity-crisis for the protagonist arouses when Bibi
wants to discover a new identity by embracing the gender codes of the other. She
wishes to walk forward and discover her own sexual cravings but once she does so
she happens to create a hybrid identity of herself, thus eventually curing herself in the
process. The protagonist, Bibi, displays ‘mental retardation therefore making her
socio-culturally deprived. The story is placed against lower-middle class Indian
surroundings. It is also interesting to note that Bibi seems to represent- ‘Freud’s
theory of conversion hysteria’-where Freud talks about the occurrences of various
bodily disturbances due to presence of repressed and unused sexual energy. Therefore
the doctor’s advice of marriage seem to have taken everybody by suprise:
“A case of overexcitement, they say”-and here we paused, blushing-“relations will
calm her blood.”(pg-162)
The story begins with the depiction of a maltreated 29 year old epileptic girl and ends
with a woman who establishes her sexuality by her own agency- transforming into a
mother , independent woman and an entrepreneur.
Infact she is treated as a sexless object before the doctor makes the suggestion of
marriage as a treatment. “They, imagined the contours below her house coat, and
attempted to appraise the pleasures she could offer a man.’’(162) There lies a
prominent difference between the other stories in this collection of the author and that
of ‘The Treatment of Bibi Halder’.
Bibi shares a diasporic identity- not because of her geographical location, but because
she suffers from an unknown illness and that condemns her to confine to “the storage
room on the roof of our building.” She has never been sexually conditioned as that is
not meant for the disabled. She is uprooted from the communal identity the one
which the society gives an individual. She exists as an element of no-where living out
of core that binds.
“Bibi had never been taught to be a woman; the illness had left her naive in most
practical matters.” She was kept away from all family objects and belongings as it
was believed she had a negative, demolishing and destructive impact to render to all
things bright and beautiful. The author does not disclose the reason behind the birth of
the child, leaving it entirely on the reader to proclaim it to be an issue of rape or
consensual sex. How we come to a conclusion symbolises our own understanding of
the sexual lives of the disabled.
To conclude I would like to talk about Yvon Appleby, the educational
psychologist who in his works opposes Adrienne Rich’s idea of ‘compulsory
heterosexuality’ which has no mention of ‘the disabled women’.
“The Pressures on Disabled woman to engage in heterosexual practice operate
differently from those to which able-bodied women are subjected. Disabled women
are particularly at risk of (hetero) sexual abuse and rape, while they are generally not
considered to have any sexual feeling or functions(motherhood) and are therefore
considered to be less than female.”
Sexuality is often the source of our deepest oppression; it is also often the source of
our deepest pain. It’s easier for us to talk about and formulate Strategies for changing-
discrimination in employment, education, and housing than to talk about our
exclusion from sexuality and reproduction.
Even if there has been a talk about sexual needs, the men have put on the fore-front
but women have been eradicated from this consideration. Bibi falls in this category of
being a non-existent, non-desirous entity worthy of no such sexual identification. The
women feature nowhere on socially being useful or worthwhile. Neither are they
deemed useful for ‘mundane household chores’ nor ‘procreation and motherhood’.
Even if marriage or togetherness comes into picture, it arises out of pity, compassion
or large-heartedness from the other. Anything but desire and love. The idea of
disabled individuals engaging in sexual union or love-making appears revolting or
disgusting to the society. Bibi, to the surprise of her society emerges as a warrior, a
self- healer and a rebel in this aspect.