Fast Food Copywriting 1.

7 
A Special Report by Robert Plank 
 Table of Contents 

Chapter 1: Explain the Problem and Provide a Solution ................................................................ 5

Chapter 2: Follow a Formula .......................................................................................................... 6

Chapter 3: My Personal Formula for Copywriting ......................................................................... 7

Chapter 4: The Anatomy of Outsourcing........................................................................................ 8

Component #1: Graphics............................................................................................................. 8

Component #2: Headline............................................................................................................. 8

Component #3: Private Label Products....................................................................................... 8

Chapter 5: Split Testing .................................................................................................................. 9

Chapter 6: Build a Swipe File....................................................................................................... 10

Chapter 7: Jumpstart Strategies .................................................................................................... 11

Chapter 8: Tackling Writer's Block Head-On............................................................................... 12

Method #1: Blogging ................................................................................................................ 12

Method #2: Why and How ........................................................................................................ 12

Method #3: Interview ................................................................................................................ 12

Chapter 9: How Do You Write That Killer Headline? ................................................................. 13

Rule #1: Everything Needs a Headline ..................................................................................... 13

Rule #2: Every Headline Needs a Benefit................................................................................. 13

Rule #3: Sub-Headlines and Sub-Sub-Headlines Are Okay ..................................................... 13

Rule #4: A Headline Needs a Deadline! (Parkinson's Law) .................................................... 13

Chapter 10: Headline Creation Formula ....................................................................................... 14

Step #1: Have the Right Font .................................................................................................... 14

Step #2: Have a Deadline .......................................................................................................... 14

 Step #3: Quit When It Tells You............................................................................................... 14

Step #4: Repeat.......................................................................................................................... 14

Step #5: Continue Until You're Tired ....................................................................................... 14

Step #6: Get Through a Whole Page of Headlines.................................................................... 14

Chapter 11: Essentials................................................................................................................... 15

Do You Want the Benefits of a High Conversion Rate on Your Own Sites, and Recurring
Income as Freelance Copywriter?........................................................................................ 15

Tip #1: You Need Proof ............................................................................................................ 15

Tip #2: You Need to Write Your Bullets FIRST ...................................................................... 15

Tip #3: You Need a Call-to-Action........................................................................................... 15

Chapter 12: Don't Mention "Work" .............................................................................................. 16

Chapter 13: Top Three Embarrassing Copywriting Blunders ...................................................... 17

Blunder #1: Missing a Unique Selling Point............................................................................. 17

Blunder #2: No Action Photo.................................................................................................... 17

Blunder #3: Focusing on the Mechanics ................................................................................... 17

Chapter 14: The Death of Video and Other Gimmicks ................................................................ 18

Chapter 15: Write the Damn Thing! ............................................................................................. 19

Chapter 16: Create An Upsell ....................................................................................................... 20

Chapter 17: Add an Affiliate Program.......................................................................................... 21

Chapter 18: Edit Like a Madman.................................................................................................. 22

Turn Simmering Copy into Sizzling Copy! .......................................................................... 22

Tactic #1: Ask a Friend What They Think of the Copy............................................................ 22

Tactic #2: Print Your Sales Letter Out and Look At It In Print ................................................ 22

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 3

 Tactic #3: Read the Sales Letter Aloud..................................................................................... 22

Tactic #4: Read Each Paragraphs to Improve Transitions ........................................................ 22

Tactic #5: Rate Each Paragraph One Through Ten................................................................... 22

Chapter 19: Storytelling................................................................................................................ 23

Chapter 20: Questions to Get Started............................................................................................ 24

Chapter 21: Freelance Copywriting .............................................................................................. 25

Chapter 22: Enhancing Existing Offers ........................................................................................ 26

Chapter 23: Advertorials............................................................................................................... 27

Chapter 24: Practice...................................................................................................................... 28

Appendix A: Plug-n-Play Copywriting Phrases ........................................................................... 29

Creating a Problem.................................................................................................................... 29

Presenting a Solution................................................................................................................. 29

What's Next? ................................................................................................................................. 30

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 4

 Chapter 1: Explain the Problem and Provide a Solution 

I was just finishing the sales copy for Black Hat PHP, and I thought about an internet marketing
luncheon I attended in August where someone asked my friend, Steven Schwartzman, a
copywriter, some tips on how to write copy.

I mentioned the trick about rewriting sales letters you like in your own handwriting, in an
attempt to get the conversation started.

The conversation did not really go anywhere… but since then, I have had a “stairway
conversation” in my head about how to write copy.

An example of a stairway conversation is where you have a huge (verbal) fight with someone
and walk away angry, but as soon as you walk up the stairway you think — “Darn, I just thought
of the PERFECT thing I could have said, back there!”

That is how your brain works. If you try to write as many words beginning with the letter “C”
on a piece of paper for 10 minutes… then tomorrow, you will still be thinking of “C” words.

You keep thinking on overtime, turning thoughts into even better thoughts, even if you do not
want it to.

You might get an idea for an article, a product, a service, or a membership site, then write it
down or forget about it. Days or weeks later, that idea will come back to you on steroids.

That is what happened to me. For the past several months, I have dismissed that conversation as
some random happening in my life, but suddenly I realized that it was a real problem…
someone wanted to know how to write their own copy and no one could explain it to them, not
even a successful copywriter like Steven!

In 2007, I launched 20 products and wrote sales letters for all of them. Twenty products! I
launched more products that year than I had in all my previous years of internet marketing
combined.

That totals $64,000 in addition to my regular day job income. What would you do with an extra
$5,000 per month that went DIRECTLY into your savings account?

My fast food copywriting strategy made it all possible.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 5

 Chapter 2: Follow a Formula 

I am by no means even a good copywriter. I mostly write my own copy and I consider myself a
“fast food” copywriter.

A chef who works at a high-class restaurant is an artist and does not really follow a formula; he
uses some inner skill that cannot be explained.

A minimum-wage worker at McDonald’s is doing a job a trained monkey can do, mindlessly
following simple instructions to produce mediocre food. However, he can consistently pump
out mediocre food.

I am a fast-food copywriter. I do not have much skill, just a simple formula and a little bit of
practice.

Why should you go to the trouble of writing your own copy? Because if you are the one who
made your product, then you are the one who understands your product the best!

For a writer to produce good copy, he needs to understand your product inside and out. If he
doesn't, it's going to show in the copy.

I also hate waiting. I listened to an audio CD once where Mark Joyner said no one in his office
could use the word "wait" – including Mark himself. You shouldn't be waiting on anything.
Waiting means you are sitting around doing nothing.

I don't like "waiting" for a copywriter. Some of them can take weeks. Once, I paid for a "24
hour" sales letter. The response from the copywriter: "There are 10 people in line in front of
you. That means it will be at least 10 days before I start on your sales copy." What?!

In ten days, I might be bored with my current project. I want to have it launched and selling so I
can start working on something else.

I need to keep moving. A shark is always in motion… even during sleep. If a shark stops
moving, it sinks. Your business is no different.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 6

 Chapter 3: My Personal Formula for Copywriting
Step #1: Split your product into pieces.
Usually you’ve already done this… if you
have a video series you have separate
videos. If you have an e-book, you have
chapters.
Step #2: Write out a one-sentence
description for each piece. Now you have a
feature for each piece of your product.
Step #3: Rewrite each feature so it explains
what it means to the buyer – what can they
do with it? This is a benefit.
A feature might be something like,
“Chapter 5: How to Toilet Train Your
Cat Using a Simple Plastic Device.”
A benefit could be, “Save Hundreds of
Dollars in Cat Litter Over the Next Few
Years, and Eliminate 15 Minutes of
Chores Every Week… With A Simple
$4.99 Piece of Plastic!”
Step #4: Expand on benefits if you can. If
there’s something more to say about that
chapter that can’t be summed up in a quick
headline, think of three bullet points (write
them in an “exciting” headline-style as well)
and place them below the benefit.
Step #5: Weave it all together with a story.
A story will keep people reading until the
end. (Why do you think the TV show
“Moonlighting” starring Bruce Willis, was
on the air for five whole seasons?)
I don’t do this 100% of the time but if I have
a sales letter that begins with the problem,
introduces the solution, then goes into
benefits, it outperforms those without a
unified story.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING
 
Step #6: Write a master headline, sub-
headline, and possibly a sub-sub-headline
for the entire sales letter. You might have to
write tons of headlines until you decide on
the one you like best.
Step #7: End it all with a quick summary of
what’s in the package (download size,
number of chapters, how long the videos
are) and a clear call-to-action. What do you
want your visitor to do after they’re done
reading? Click an order button? Fill out a
subscription form? Pick ONE thing you
want them to do, tell them how to do it, and
make it almost impossible for them NOT to
click.
Here is how the page is laid out:
• Headline and subheadline (like in a
newspaper article, they can be long
and they can be full sentences)
• Their problem and your solution
(your product)
• Benefits (what’s in it for them)
• Features (what exactly is in the
package)
• Package summary (money-back
guarantee, system requirements,
download size, etc.)
• Call-to-action (what to do next)
That’s how you write sales copy and that’s
how I try to write everything… including
forum and blog posts.
That’s how I write sales copy. It’s not great
but it is fast-food copywriting.
7
 Chapter 4: The Anatomy of Outsourcing 

Component #1: Graphics 

Graphics are not important at all. Ken Evoy has tested this. I would rather have well-written
copy and no graphics than great graphics and a crappy message.

If you have the money to spare to pay someone to make some quick minisite graphics for $100 to
$200, go for it. Otherwise, just use a simple template that looks like the text is written on a page
on the screen.

I rarely outsource copywriting. Even though I can afford it, if I always outsourced my
copywriting it would eat into my profits, big time. Many copywriters charge over $1000 for a
simple 3 to 5 page letter, and some of the even bigger ones will charge you a percentage of all
future profits. Even if the copy sucks, you still have to keep paying them.

Component #2: Headline 

I do tend to outsource the headline every now and then. My friend Steven Schwartzman
writes headlines for $97. The headline is probably the hardest and most important part of your
copy.

The only way I know how to write a headline is to keep writing down lots of potential headlines
until I have at least 100 or 150, and then decide on one. This is very time consuming and is
usually worse than a regular copywriter would think of. That's why I outsource the headline.

When I was less experienced, I would try posting my URL to message boards to get a
copywriting critique. This was very helpful and it's how I came up with the copy for
PaySensor.com.

Don't post a fake "critique request" just to get web site hits, people will see right through that.
There are discussion boards devoted only to copywriting filled with people who are more than
happy to help you.

You can also pay copywriters about $97 to record a screen capture video narrated by them
where they look at your web site and talk for 30 to 60 minutes telling you what they would
change. These videos are invaluable.

Component #3: Private Label Products 

Buying up private label products and resell rights products, is another form of outsourcing.

Once, I purchased a PLR product in my niche, and I knew my existing list would just eat it up.
Cost to me: $27. Total profit: $1,177.96 the first day from 135 sales.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 8

 Chapter 5: Split Testing 

Internet marketing expert Allen Says once said, "Testing is the only guru." If you have an idea,
split test it. There are several free split test scripts out there, just search Google for "free split
test script."

If you think of a better headline than the one you currently use, split test the other
headline. The original headline will be shown to half of your visitors, and the new headline will
be shown to the other half.

The script counts which headline brought in each sale.

Once you see a significant different in sales between the two, you know which is the clear
winner. You might not understand why one headline performs better than the other, only
that it does.

Then, you can think of another headline to spilt test with the current winner. Or you can move
on and split test some other part of your copy.

If you split test only one thing at a time in this very careful and scientific way, your sales letter
will, over time, produce better results and bring in more sales.

Beware of the obsessive tester. Although it's possible, you don’t need to use split testing to test
graphics or the layout of your page, just the content. I have heard of people testing the
background color of their page, that's just too much.

Also be careful about testing the price. You have a product for sale for $50. You get 1000
visitors per month and a 1% conversion rate, so your income from that site for the month is:

$50 * 1000 * 0.01 = $500

You try bumping the price down to $25. You get another 1000 visitors and a 1.5% conversion
rate:

$25 * 1000 * 0.015 = $375

By lowering the price, you just decided to throw $125 in the trash each and every month – even
though the conversion rate increased. If the price remains the same, you want to boost your
conversion rate, but if you are testing the price, you goal is the most profit.

Not the most number of sales or the highest conversion rate, but the most money.

I am iffy about people who measure the conversion rates on opt-in pages, because you can easily
say something that will turn off serious buyers but will get lots of freebie seekers to subscribe to
your list. You can get lots and lots of sign-ups that don't necessarily lead to sales.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 9
 Chapter 6: Build a Swipe File 

A common trick to developing good copy is the rewriting tip I mentioned earlier, so you can start
building a swipe file. When you read anything… it might be a sales letter, a fiction book… if
you see a really kickass headline or sentence, write it down! Don't steal it. Rewrite it later if you
need it.

If an advertisement in the newspaper catches your attention, save it and rewrite it by hand to
figure out where the "trigger" is that keeps you reading. Add that phrase to your swipe file.
Russell Brunson is a marketer who loves to write ads and saves a lot of his junk mail (stuff that
comes in the actual mail, not e-mail spam) to study.

Here is a great headline written for Allen Says' Private Posts E-Book:

Here Is How You Can Guarantee a Stampede

of Customers Will Be Putting Their Hard Earned
Cash In Your Pocket Not Only This Time But Every time...

"Who Else Wants To Discover The Amazing Money-Making Secrets Of A

Crazy Undercover Internet Marketing Guru, And How He Will Take You By
The Hand And Show You How You Can Easily Turn One Simple Idea Into A
Cash Generating Wealth Machine?"

In A Few Minutes You Can Start Generating Amazing Streams Of Income

Day After Day, Month After Month, And Year After Year. Income Streams
So Powerful You Won't Be Able To Prevent People From Buying Your
Products And Services Even If You Stopped Advertising Them All Together!

My big secret to building up a swipe file quickly is to go to the Clickbank Marketplace, choose
one of their categories, and visit some of their sites from the first or second pages.

Those products are listed by the best selling ones first, so you can be sure that their sales letters
are full of well-tested headlines and phrases for you to make into your own.

You should also go to www.hardtofindads.com to read some of the best performing

advertisements of all time... most still work! My two favorite swipe file phrases of all time are:

• From an ad hung on my doorknob for $50 off my cable service:

"You are looking at a $50 bill disguised as a door hanger!"

• From an internet marketing seminar (originally from a monster truck commercial):

"I'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!"

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 10

 Chapter 7: Jumpstart Strategies 

Forget almost everything you learned in English class about writing. When I write a sales letter, I
try to keep sentences as short as possible and in very simple language, with short sentences.

I was once told: "Write seven-word sentences." I'm never able to cut it down that much, but
keeping that seven-word sentence in mind keeps my sentences as short as possible. I cut out
unnecessary words.

Write at a 4th or 5th grade writing level. Write the same way your readers think and talk.

I use active sentences whenever possible. An active sentence is: "I ate cake." A passive
sentence is: "The cake was eaten by me." Active sentences are shorter, more direct, and easier to
read. Active sentences PROPEL your readers into action!

In college, I made it a point to give my papers 1% (or less) passive sentences. English
teachers gave me high grades and non-English teachers gave me average grades because "the
language wasn't fancy enough." So what? It was easy as heck to read, and looking back on
those papers, I couldn't find a single sentence to improve.

I write as if the reader is just about to lose interest, so I'll have short paragraphs in the hopes that
certain sentences with pop out at them. Keep paragraphs at 4 lines or less, and if you
approach a 4-5 line paragraph, follow it up with a 1-line paragraph.

Every now and then, I'll bold part of a sentence to make THAT stand out.

Your goal is to keep your reader entertained and reading until the very end – NOT impress
them with fancy wordage.

Don't be afraid of bullet points. I am big on making bullet point lists to explain something,
instead of a big long paragraph no one wants to read.

Write in groups of three. It's easy to think of "only" three reasons to take action, three benefits
to your product, or three problems you will solve. It's also easy as heck to read.

Never leave out the proven parts of a sales letter. It's all about AIDA – Attention, Interest,
Desire, and Action.

Get attention with a great headline. Keep interest with a story. Build desire with the benefits.
Get them to act with a call-to-action.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 11

 Chapter 8: Tackling Writer's Block Head­On 

To cure writer's block, you need to practice writing.

Method #1: Blogging 

Create a blog. It doesn't need to be fancy. It just needs to be a simple looking blog that resides
on your own domain (preferably YourName.com). Don't write in it every day, just once a week
or twice a month.

Writing in a blog regularly works wonders. Since I've started blogging, I can now crank out
2-3 pages in 10 minutes without breaking a sweat.

Blogging makes you write more efficiently. Forums and e-mails don't give you this skill.

In fact, I've written MANY sales letters that began as a simple blog post, that ended up being
too long, that I eventually copied out and turned into a sales letter.

Method #2: Why and How 

If you're stuck with bullet points, just say: "Why ____ and how ___."

For example: "Why you need to stay far away from "the obsessive tester" and how to avoid
becoming one yourself." It doesn't give the actual benefit away, but it explains a problem and
provides a solution.

Method #3: Interview 

If you have writer's block, get someone to interview you about your product. Ask a friend or
another marketer in your field to ask you:

• What's in it for me?

• How can this benefit me specifically?
• Why should I buy from you specifically? (What is your Unique Selling Point?)
• The biggest objection I have about this product is…
• The biggest question I have about this product is…
• Why should I pay the price you're asking for?
• What is your guarantee?
• What exactly do I get when I buy your product?

With an interview, the sales letter will practically write itself!

An interview is a discussion… just like a story, it's hard to break it off at some point. One
sentence leads into the next which leads into the next… all the way down.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 12
 Chapter 9: How Do You Write That Killer Headline? 

Your headline is the most important part of your copy. Your headline is the ad for the rest of
your ad!

If you don't have a good headline, no one will read the rest of your copy, no matter how
good it is. A bad headline will bottleneck your sales.

Rule #1: Everything Needs a Headline 

If you start off a sales letter with a big header graphic or the name of your product, you've
already started on the wrong foot. People tend to skim. This is especially true for the web, and
even truer for ads.

Rule #2: Every Headline Needs a Benefit 

If there is only one thought in your head while you write a headline, this is it. People always
want to know: "What's in it for me?" Having a benefit in your headline makes sure:

1. They know what's in it for them.

2. The headline is never too short (says nothing) or too long (goes off on a tangent.)
3. The headline is action-oriented. Something happens, your readers (hypothetically)
benefit in that headline, instead of you speaking about something.

Rule #3: Sub­Headlines and Sub­Sub­Headlines Are Okay 

Your headlines can be long and you can have a headline that takes up a whole sentence. Many
copywriters start off a letter with 3 or 4 headlines at the top, to get people excited quickly.

The rule of thumb is that if your headline is longer than 17 words, break it into a subheadline
leading up to a headline.

Rule #4: A Headline Needs a Deadline!  (Parkinson's Law) 

Some copywriters will tell you they spend weeks and weeks to write one single headline. This
can't be you. You need to tell yourself, "I'm going to have this headline written today." All
you're going to focus on TODAY is getting that headline done.

Once that's finished, you can do other stuff like check your e-mail or work on the rest of your
sales letter. Not before.

The headline should be the LAST thing you write. Have the rest of your sales copy written
including a mediocre headline and subheadline, features and benefits, all of that stuff.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 13

 Chapter 10: Headline Creation Formula 

To write your headline, you will need to keep the most powerful phrases in the sales copy in
mind.

You also will need the swipe file you've collected, which are the best phrases in sales copy
you've read.

Step #1: Have the Right Font 

Open up a Word document and set the font at something large, like Arial Black or Tahoma,
make it bold and around 24 points in size.

Step #2: Have a Deadline 

Set a timer (it could be a kitchen or stove timer, watch, cell phone timer, whatever) for 3
minutes from now.

Step #3: Quit When It Tells You 

Write as many headlines as you can in that 3 minute period. The second it rings, you have to
get up from the computer and do something else – take out the trash, go outside and take a
walk… just get away from the computer.

Step #4: Repeat 

After you've done something else and put yourself in a different mindset, start over. Set the
alarm and write as many headlines as you possibly can in 3 minutes.

Step #5: Continue Until You're Tired 

Keep writing pages and pages of headlines until you can't write anymore. Once you can't write
any more headlines, go back and improve the headlines you wrote to make new headlines.

Step #6: Get Through a Whole Page of Headlines 

If you do this right, you will end up with 5 to 10 pages of nothing but headlines. If you want a
decent headline, you can stop after a page or two… but at LEAST get through a whole page of
headlines.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 14

 Chapter 11: Essentials 

Do You Want the Benefits of a High Conversion Rate on Your Own Sites, and
Recurring Income as Freelance Copywriter?

Tip #1: You Need Proof 

Just like I have the general rule to ALWAYS include a benefit in my headline, another rule that I
never get out of my head is: ALWAYS include proof within sales copy. Proof takes forms:

• You can have social proof. Testimonials, or the high price of an increasing dimesale.
• You can have visual proof. Screenshots of your PayPal account or Alexa ranking,
videos of the results or of your product in action.
• You can have credential proof. Mention your relevant college degrees, years on the job
or appropriate certifications. At a seminar I once saw a speaker show a copy of his tax
return on a slide (don't do that last one on the web).

Those are the three main types of proof. I'm sure you can think of others – for example,
statistical and physical proof – but they are all derived from those three base types.

Tip #2: You Need to Write Your Bullets FIRST 

Everything in your copy should point back to those bullet points. If you tell a story, it should
eventually connect with those bullet-point benefits (not features). Your headlines should contain
some sort of concrete details that can be found in your headline.

For this reason, you need to write the bullet points first before you write anything else.
Otherwise, I guarantee you, the rest of your copy will fall flat and you will be unclear with what
you are selling.

Tip #3: You Need a Call­to­Action 

One of the most ridiculous statements I have ever seen in my many years online was from a guy
who split tested everything. By split tested EVERYTHING, I mean... he split tested having an
order button versus no order button!

He was "surprised" to notice that he got more sales when he had an order button on a sales letter,
compared to zero sales when there was no way for a person to order.

What a dummy. But the real point he was trying to make was that your copy needs to lead
somewhere. It needs to lead into just ONE thing. Do you want them to order? Enter their e-
mail address for a newsletter? Even just watch a free video. You need to lead up to a call-to-
action... even if you're selling a free product.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 15

 Chapter 12: Don't Mention "Work" 

I was poor for years before I made any serious sales with my products or landed any decent joint
ventures. Do you want to know why? Because the way I sold my products, I made it sound
like work!

You are going to have to present your offer in such a way that explains how people can use your
product immediately.

I'm not talking about the "biz-opp" niche, either. Even if your product is about how to plan
parties... which of the following special reports do you think would sell better?

Title #1: "Fun Party Planning Tips"

Title #2: " Plan Your First Party in Under 17 Minutes, For $97 Less Than You Estimated... Just
With These 7 Tips... Guaranteed!"

Yes, that's a long title, but so is, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." This is a title that
tells them exactly what benefits they will get... they'll save $97 and they'll be ready in less than
7 minutes.

They also will be able to pick these tips up very quickly... after all, they're just "tips" and there
are only seven of them!

Finally, there's the element of curiosity. I didn't explain exactly what the 7 tips are, and even
when I go into detail with bullet points, I'm going to explain the BENEFIT of each tip, not that
tip exactly.

My own experience with this was when I was selling e-books on how to program computers. I'd
try to JV with others and they'd say, "No thanks, I'm not interested in LEARNING how to
program."

I continued to fail until finally, I released a tiny little product that gave some really basic info on
how to tweak sales letters. I didn't think it would sell at all and I figured that at least it would
serve as a nice low ticket lead-in product to my other offers.

Guess what... it became my best selling product, by far!

What happened was, people were more attracted to the quick fix solutions that required minimal
learning and the most significant, and quickest results. Who gives a crap about learning?
That's too much like school!

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 16

 Chapter 13: Top Three Embarrassing Copywriting Blunders 

Blunder #1: Missing a Unique Selling Point 

This is one of the reasons why affiliate marketing is so hard... what do you have to differentiate
yourself from the hundreds of other affiliates out there? This is why I add my own bonuses
when promoting as an affiliate.

Blunder #2: No Action Photo 

This isn't required, but please make an attempt to have at least one photo on your sales letter.

Not including the header graphic... in fact I recommend AGAINST having a header graphic of
any kind unless it's small and contains your headline.

If you sell an e-book, make your graphic a virtual picture of the book cover. If you sell software,
make a software box. If it's a video or a script, show screenshots. Show the physical product in
its real box if you have a physical product, along with all the materials laid out (DVDs, CDs,
manuals, whatever).

Show the product in action if possible. For example, if the product is how to assemble a
cardboard glider, show photos of the glider in the air.

Blunder #3: Focusing on the Mechanics 

No, not car mechanics, silly. Things like spelling and grammar do NOT matter when writing
sales copy.

If you want to run the spellchecker or get someone to proof your copy, that's fine. But don't be
afraid to end with a preposition. Don't be afraid to begin a sentence with the word "and."

When you change the wording around, change it so you say the same message in less words.
Don't try to impress people with your fancy wording, don't play "buzzword bingo." When you
say more with less, you have more impact.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 17

 Chapter 14: The Death of Video and Other Gimmicks 

Sometimes I use video to demonstrate the product, but you need to keep the video at 2 minutes
or less, if possible. Avoid lame introductory statements like "welcome to my web site." Just get
right into the product in action.

The biggest problem I see with people using video is that they emphasize features and not
benefits. Copywriting with video is still copywriting.

When I record video, I try to keep this in mind:

You Are Using Video to Compress More Information in Less Time.

Video alone won't sell your product. If you have a demonstration video you still need to have a
headline, subheadline, bullet points and a call to action at the bottom – at a MINIMUM.

You need scarcity in your product. This could be a limited number of copies or an increasing
price, or you could just have an explanation of what incredible results your prospects will miss
out on even if they wait one week or one month to buy from you.

Don't price your product too low. Common sense might tell you that setting your product at a
low price point will bring in more sales, but the lower the price, the lower the perceived value.
Try to offer LOTS of value at a high price than a little bit of value at a lower price.

Testimonials can come later. Part of the process of convincing your prospects that the thing
you have is something they want, but if you're launching a brand new product… just get it out
there.

No proof, no launch. The only reason you want testimonials in the first place is because they
provide social proof. If you can't get testimonials right away, find some other way of providing
proof.

Believe me, I have experimented with pre-launches and giving away free review copies. Your
copy will sell just fine without testimonials. Sell a few copies, gather some testimonials, and
then add it to the sales letter later. Testimonials are less important and less effective than you
think.

If you want a great script that can handle PayPal payments and show how many people have
ordered so far, you should check out PaySensor.

If you want to play around with gimmicks like dime sales, I suggest you check out the script I
provide in Sales Page Tactics Volume 3.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 18

 Chapter 15: Write the Damn Thing! 

Explain to your reader where the pain is, and then take it away. Do you offer a cure for their
headaches, a solution to their financial problems, a way to improve their golf game so they can
finally stop being laughed at by their friends?

You need to tell them how to gain something – money, power, a new skill… NOT how to keep
what they have or prevent a loss.

Prevention is boring. Things like: how to keep hackers out of your computer, how to keep your
car's gas mileage high, how to stay healthy… are BORING subjects!

Keep this in mind: People buy things they want, not what they need.

Use visual imagery. You want your readers to know what it's like to have your product in their
hands or in some way benefitted from it.

Say things like: "People who don't use ___ Are Shaking Their Heads in Frustration!"
Or: "Not Doing ____ Is Like Throwing Money Away in the Trash!"

Get people thinking about "now." Instead of saying "when you get your hands on this
product" go for something more like: "Imagine you have XXX product. Your life is good, your
kids actually like you, and your dog doesn't poop on the couch."

Don't forget the basics. Every once you see sales letters trying SO hard to tell a good story, or
be clever with the wording, that they forget the basics. No matter what clever tricks you use in
your sales letter, it MUST explain:

• What are you selling?

• What's in it for me?
• Why should I believe you?

You're ready to start. Have you heard of Parkinson's Law? It says, "Work expands to fill the
time available for its completion."

If you give yourself a month to write that copy, it's going to take you a whole month.

If you only allow yourself 24 hours to put together some sloppy fast food copy, you can have
your product selling within 24 hours.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 19

 Chapter 16: Create An Upsell 

As a software developer, I have a very firm belief in keeping projects shippable.

Write the product, write the sales letter, hook it up to a payment processor, and get it selling.
You can always add on later, but you need to get your product selling in its most basic form as
soon as humanly possible.

If your offer is 100% done and is selling – it is SELLING – not ready to sell, tweak it to offer
an upsell.

Replace your order button with a link to a second, much shorter sales letter that says, "I know
you're about to purchase Product XYZ, but I've got an even better deal for you!'

Explain very quickly how some bigger product solves the problem even better, then provide
two order buttons – one for the regular-priced original product, and one for the bigger and better,
higher-priced product.

Don't forget that an upsell page is STILL a sales letter. You should still list bullet points,
look at how other people do it, use a swipe file, and split test it.

You do not need a fancy script to do this. Do not offer more than one thing on the upsell.
Your visitor has already committed to buy; now you are making them decide between buying the
regular version or the bigger version.

Something you might want to test is an upsell versus a one-time offer.

• With an upsell, your visitor tries to buy, but you stop them and make them choose
between Product #1 or Bigger Product #2.
• With a one-time offer, your visitor buys Product #1, and after they pay, you present a
link to another sales letter to Product #2 on the thank you page.

Look into a tracking script such as Google Analytics to measure your conversion rate.

Knowing the conversion rate is not only handy for improving your split tests, it also makes a
great selling point when you are trying to attract joint venture partners and affiliates…

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 20

 Chapter 17: Add an Affiliate Program 

Once your product launch has died down, the way you are going to keep consistent sales is with
an affiliate program.

An affiliate program is a system where a person promotes your URL with special ID tag, and
gets commission for the sale.

If you funnel all your sales into a list (put an opt-in form on your thank you page) others will
build your list for you.

An affiliate program will cut down on piracy (who wants to share a product for free when they
can get money for selling it?) and it will keep your product's name out there when people
advertise.

I recommend Clickbank for an affiliate program because they have at least 100,000 affiliates
who can just plug their affiliate username into your URL.

What you need to do is create a condensed version of your sales letter, usually about one page.
This is a "solo ad."

Give it to affiliates so that all they have to do is substitute their affiliate link at the end, and mail
it out to their list.

If you funnel your buyers into an autoresponder, automatically send a note after a 7 days asking
them either, "Where can I send you a check?" or, "I would like to buy advertising on your
site."

In the e-mail, explain how they can earn 50% commission on your product by copy and pasting
that message to their e-mail list. If they have a review site or authority site, they will set that
up as its own page. If they have a blog, they will make it a blog post.

If you can, add the solo ad as the last chapter of the book and make the call-to-action… your
reader telling their list about your product!

This is where a lot of the negativity about e-books comes from, because some idiots write very
badly written "how to make money" e-books and tell the people who buy them that the only way
they can make money is by promoting their crappy book. Yeah right.

Your book needs to be good and it needs to be in a niche, but not the "how to make money"
niche. If you write a book on a topic like COPYWRITING or MAKING YOUR OWN DOG
FOOD, and someone buys it, chances are that buyer has their own established site and
maybe even their own mailing list in that niche. That is good marketing.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 21

 Chapter 18: Edit Like a Madman 

Turn Simmering Copy into Sizzling Copy!

Only after the copy is written and selling, I have affiliates and a sales funnel in place, do I go
back to make things better.

I almost never go back. I would rather create new products and advertise existing products.

My advice to you: if there are no products to work on that day, no advertising to run or support
tickets to handle… if there is nothing else for you to possibly do… don't get on discussion
boards, don't watch TV, perform some quick edits on your copy.

Tactic #1: Ask a Friend What They Think of the Copy 

Not just to proof read it, but if it grabs them. I once heard that an appropriate response is not,
"This is good." They should ask, "How can I buy a copy of this?"

Tactic #2: Print Your Sales Letter Out and Look At It In Print 

When you read a page on a screen, you usually tend to skim. I bet you are skimming this book
right now, if you are reading it on a computer screen! You definitely want to write for the
screen, so you need headlines, bullet points, and short paragraphs, but reading it on a page will
definitely help you catch mistakes and weak points.

Tactic #3: Read the Sales Letter Aloud 

Even better, read aloud to another person if you can or tape record yourself and play it back. A
copywriter (possibly Kevin Riley) reads every single sales letter he writes, aloud, to his wife.

Automate split testing of your copy through freelancers or an intern program. Every once
in a while, pay a freelancer $10 to rewrite multiple versions of the headline and split test them
all. (Remember, the headline makes the biggest difference!)

Tactic #4: Read Each Paragraphs to Improve Transitions 

NO English teacher will teach you this one. Read the last paragraph in the letter, then the second
to last, and so on. If two paragraphs do not transition well, you will know right away.

Tactic #5: Rate Each Paragraph One Through Ten 

Then take an Excel spreadsheet, type all the numbers in a row, and get the average of all those
numbers. If it's below the number you want (like 7) then you have room for improvement.
Rewrite the paragraphs with the weakest rating.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 22
 Chapter 19: Storytelling
I've said earlier that storytelling is not
required in your sales letter, BUT… the
most effective change you can make in a
sales letter is changing it from a sales
letter that does NOT tell a story, to a
letter that does tell one.
The most popular philosophers in the world,
like Jesus and Socrates, were as influential
as they were because of stories. Throughout
history, countless dictators have censored
literature because of the simple power of
stories.
If you tell a story correctly, you can make
anybody believe almost anything. Stories
get people excited and interested about what
you have to say.
The best salesmen and copywriters in the
world have their own "story bank" or swipe
file of stories that they can use to adapt to
any particular situation… do you?
Think about it… would you rather watch a
TV program teaching you how to learn
calculus, or an action-packed TV show
about Jack Bauer, federal agent, running
around Los Angeles trying to save it from
being blown up by terrorists?
Internet marketer John Reese once said, "To
learn good copywriting, watch the TV show
LOST." Obviously you can't watch TV
and become a better copywriter, but
LOST is one of my favorite shows of all
time and I immediately knew what he was
talking about.
LOST is a TV show about survivors of a
plane crash on a deserted island. Sounds
like the most boring show in the world,
right? You'd think so, but the creators of the
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING
 
show are masters at storytelling and have
turned it into one of the most successful
shows in history because of the following
techniques:
• An interesting angle. This show is
never straightforward. You'll see a
character act a certain way and think,
"What a jerk!" But then see
something happen to that person via
flashbacks and later think, "I can
understand exactly why they did
that." It's a lot more fun to watch the
story unfold that way than if you
went from the beginning to the end.
• Combining things that don't
normally go together. There are
polar bears on the island, people can
suddenly walk who didn't before,
and there is a monster made of black
smoke. These kinds of things that
are just a little bit "out there" keep
people tuning in every day to get
some answers. If you can build a
little bit of mystery into your
headlines and statements, you'll keep
people intrigued.
• Something for everyone. Every
episode jerks back and forth between
"present time" on the island, so one
week the show will be more of a
comedy, more of an action show or a
mystery show, or more of a drama.
• Hype. The TV show has an entire
team of people dedicated to setting
up web sites and running online
contests to keep people excited and
talking about the show. If you
launched your own product, you
would give affiliates solo ads, give
out a little bit of free info and send
out lots of mailings to build interest.
23
 Chapter 20: Questions to Get Started 

If you're having forming a solid story, I try to answer one of the following questions below.
This is a carefully crafted list that I have edited and trimmed down over the years.

Just try to answer one of these questions in your stories, and your sales letter will take off like a
rocket.

1. What is the most exciting thing that could happen to you in the next year?

2. What's the hook? What are you promising by the end of the story? (A free gift for
them, an explanation about how you did something?)

3. Where are your details? Stories need proof, and one solid fact can replace a long
boring paragraph filled with descriptions.

4. Who is the star of the story? Remember the three S's of copywriting: "A star, a story, a
solution." If you're selling a cure for headaches, kick your story off by talking about
Kathy, a woman who suffers from chronic headaches so crippling she can't even work.
From there you address the extent of her problem and how you provided the solution.

5. Where is the emotion? You need emotional copy or everything will just fall flat. What
are you feeling, and what are other people feeling when using your product?

6. Is it relevant to your reader?

7. Where is the conflict? Without a conflict, there is no story, just an explanation. People
need something to overcome – not enough money, bad health, not enough free time... the
story begins with something that's wrong, your reader tackles it head-on with conflict
(with your product) and they arrive at a happy ending.

(Or a sad ending... and the only way to MAKE it a happy ending... is with your
product!)

8. Do you have a clear beginning, middle, and end? If you took the text in that sales
copy and presented it in front of a live audience, and suddenly stopped at the end, would
they know you were finished?

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 24

 Chapter 21: Freelance Copywriting 

So you want to break into the world of freelance copywriting and make $5000 per job writing
sales letters for other people.

I know several people who write freelance copy. No, I'm not going to share their names with
you (other than Steven Schwartzman) … why would I give away my sources of income?

If you really want to pursue freelance copywriting, you are going to need proof so you need to
experiment on your own and write ads promoting affiliate programs. Then you send traffic to it.
If you make money, then you're good enough to write copy for someone else.

Here is all the advice I have to give about freelance copywriting, based on the freelance
copywriters I know and my experiences with them:

1. Run time-sensitive special offers with a cap on the number of slots available. I can't
tell you how much I *hate* web sites that offer web design, copywriting, ad writing,
business card creation, blah blah blah! No! Offer one service and write a sales letter
for it just like you would promote any single product. Sell a 3-page sales letter, for
something like $197 to $497 and state there are only 5 slots available, then close the offer
when those slots fill up.

2. Build a list and have a sales letter just like with any other product. You should be
building a list when you sell individual products, so why not with your copywriting jobs
as well? Treat it just like any other mailing list: make it double opt-in, provide an
unsubscribe link, and be sure to follow-up with them on a regular basis to keep those
leads from going stale. You can get a cheap autoresponder account from Aweber.

3. Send thank you cards. One copywriter captured the physical shipping address in the
PayPal button and sent me a handwritten thank you note in the postal mail several days
later! It was so noticeable that I ordered several sales letters from him after that.

4. Provide video proof. If you have Camtasia (a program that records your screen), run it
while you write the sales letter. It will guarantee that you stay focused and finish the job
quickly, plus when you deliver the sales letter you can say, "Here's proof that it took me
6 hours to write your copy." You could even combine this with the "thank you card" idea
and mail your customers a DVD containing the video.

5. Offer an affiliate program. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to recommend
a great copywriter to someone, but didn't because there was "nothing in it for me." What
do I have to gain? Nothing. What do I have to lose? A great copywriter who is suddenly
too busy with other clients to work on my project. Have an affiliate program where you
offer copywriting for $500 or $1000 and pay out 50% commission. Yes, fifty percent…
make it worth my while!

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 25

 Chapter 22: Enhancing Existing Offers 

With your copywriting skill, you don't necessarily have to create your own product. You can
become a freelance copywriter. But even THAT isn't the end of the road.

You could buy up resale rights to existing products, set up your OWN affiliate program, and
write your own copy for the product.

You could also do this for affiliate programs without risking any money down. Recently, Paul
Myers bought up resale rights for a product about installing WordPress (blogging software) on a
web server and optimizing it to get the best search engine results.

It was a great product, with a great offer and a very complete description of what you would get.

But the conversion rate on the sales letter SUCKED!

The problem? The sales letter was feature-based and not benefit-based. It said, "Video number
one has this. You will learn this. Video two has this..." And so on.

Where's the motivation in that? Since learning that lesson, I have made sure to at least
TWEAK the copy every time I put up someone else's resale rights or private label rights product
up for sale. At the very least, ask yourself:

• Is the headline missing a benefit?

• Does it explain WIIFM (What's In It For Me?)
• Is it missing a guarantee?

Sometimes I'll even keep the sales copy the same, but change the offer.

I owned resale rights to a product from several years back, but instead of the traditional order
button, I stuck a dimesale offer on the page (price increases with each sale) plus a countdown
timer (the offer expired after 48 hours) AND an upsell to a $97 product... 48 sales and $1,203.08
profit in one day from an old $27 that I'd been selling forever, that tons of people already had.

You can do the same with free products. Quentin Brown created a site called "Best Free
Graphics Software" and wrote a sales letter trying to sell you on the benefits of a free graphics
program called Paint.NET... but the download link first led to a one time offer.

You click order and have the chance to buy an actual product, including videos, plugins, stock
photos, guarantee buttons, and a resource list of public tutorials... or you could continue to get
the free product.

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 26

 Chapter 23: Advertorials 

I don't know what niche you are in or if you hang around non-internet marketing message
boards...

But every once in a while, somebody will mention my product or a friend's product and try to
explain it by linking another person's sales letter. EVERY SINGLE TIME these people preface
the link with, "Please excuse the sales pitch but this is what I'm talking about..."

The sales letter itself describes the product beautifully... even better than these forum junkies
could explain it. The only problem, it turns a ton of people off because it reads like an ad!

If you are a fan of writing long copy, why not make the sales letter appear to be an article, use
all the same hooks and benefits to keep people reaidng, but end with a sales letter.

I'm not claiming you should try to write 100% advertorials and abandon the hard-sell model
altogether.

But if you are writing a sales letter for a niche that's not very receptive to hard sales letters, try
the advertorial approach and solve a common problem somewhat, then offer a more complete
solution in the form of your paid product.

You can get away with the hard sell in niches like marketing, real estate, health, and dating.

You write an article but it's filled with subheadlines, bullet points, storytelling, and it keeps them
reading until the end.

If you write an advertorial, it's going to be a long piece of story (6 pages or longer).

If you are one of those "long copy vs. short copy" dumbasses, just write the long copy and split
test it against the short copy. Here's the way I look at it:

• Best case: the long copy sells better.

• Worst case: Short copy sells better, cannibalize the advertorial part into a blog post,
autoresponder follow-up, free article, special report...

Internet marketing forum owner Tony Blake once had idea of charging visitors $1 to read a sales
letter.

Sounds stupid and outrageous at first, right? But think about it... what if you had a bunch of
useful content in that sales letter to make it "worth" $10 or more? Isn't that the same as charging
for a short report?

My final piece of advice about advertorials: Write it as you would write a short report, but
with storytelling, hooks, headlines, benefits, an offer, a guarantee, and a call to action.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 27
 Chapter 24: Practice 

The only way you are going to get really, really good at writing copy is by practicing. Here are a
few things I do every week to improve myself. You only need to set aside 15 minutes or so at
the end of the week.

Exercise #1: Re-write sales letters by hand. This is THE thing you need to do on a regular basis
to improve your copywriting. So many people claim to do it but don't. If you're on an airplane

Exercise #2: Re-type sales letters by hand. Sometimes I like retyping sales copy because it's less
time consuming than rewriting. The words don't seem to stick in me as well as writing
everything by hand.

Exercise #3: Write copy on anything. Look around your room. How about that whiteboard on
the wall, that soda can on your desk, that pencil in your pocket? Try to write a sales letter for it.
Write headlines, benefits, bullet points, a guarantee, and so on... it'll be fun.

Exercise #4: Record yourself reading sales letters aloud. This is my latest strategy. I put on my
headset and fire up Camtasia, point my browser to a sales letter and just read it word for word.

If you need even more help, turn every page or so of the sales letter into a PowerPoint – just
three bullet points and a maximum of 15 words – print read the sales letter out and read it aloud
with the PowerPoint in front of you with the Camtasia rolling.

Do you know what you just made? A YouTube video or free DVD you can "sell" for $7 to
capture physical leads.

Have fun!

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 28

 Appendix A: Plug­n­Play Copywriting Phrases 

There is no replacement for a good swipe file. With a decent (200+ bullet) swipe file built up, I
can knock out one sales letter per day.

Here are a few "fill in the blank" phrases I use to get started on my swipe file. This isn't in any
way a headline swipe file! NEVER use any of the phrases below in your sales copy sentences,
or your headlines.

Start with one of these phrases and rewrite 3 times. Then you'll have one of your many
CANDIDATES for a headline.

Have you noticed that I have more plug-n-play phrases for solutions rather than problems?
That's because the most sales letters focus on the solution, not the problem. They introduce the
problem and then quickly talk about the solution… many successful sales letters leave the
problem out altogether!

Creating a Problem  Presenting a Solution 

1. Did you notice that when ___, people __? 1. What ____ know about ____ that ____ don't!
2. How many of these 17 _ are you missing? 2. It's the dream of every ___ to be ____!
3. Why your ____ is only the THIRD most 3. This 47-page report reveals ____!
important factor in determining ____. 4. For $47 You Can Discover the 47 Secrets to __.
4. Why advice from ___ hasn't helped your ___. 5. I begged them, "______!"
5. Warning: Do NOT Read This Unless ___! 6. Your __ is even MORE important than your __!
6. Why does a ____ matter, anyway? 7. The ____ That Instantly ____!
7. Don't let ____ ruin _____. 8. If you have ____, then you already have ____!
8. Why _____ can actually HURT your ___. 9. Breakthrough tips for: ______!
9. The right and wrong ways to ____. 10. How to combine the power of ____ with ____.
10. If you think ____ are _____, you're right! 11. The amazing secret of how ___ learned to ____!
12. In 1 hour you could be 80% proficient with ___!
  13. If You Want to __, You Need to Get Your
Hands on __!
14. A secret way to: ____
15. Try not to laugh when you discover ____!
16. Here are the three steps to: ____
17. Proof!

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 29

 What's Next? 

If you like this report, remember, you do not have resale rights to it and cannot sell it yourself or
give it away.

However, I can give you 50% commission from all sales you refer to me. Just sign up for a
Clickbank account, then promote this URL:

http://YourClickbankID.fastfoodcopywriting.com

Replace "YourClickbankID" with your actual Clickbank ID. Clickbank, my payment processor,
handles every sale and sends you a commission check every two weeks.

Do you have a mailing list? Copy and paste this message to ALL your subscribers:

http://www.FastFoodCopywriting.com/affiliates

It’s all setup for you. You only need to send traffic to that URL. I handle all the sales letter,
order fulfillment, and support. You only need to send traffic and collect your payment.

Second, I already told you that writing the headline is the hardest part of writing web copy.
Once you have your sales letter written, if you want a great headline that matches the sales letter,
go to:

http://www.MrHeadline.com

Lastly, if you have sales copy all finished for a product and it is selling, and you are ready to try
a few tweaks to boost conversion rates and rake in more sales, I highly recommend my "Sales
Page Tactics" series:

http://www.SalesPageTactics.com

ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 30