Overcome Blushing PDF

Use Hypnosis
to Overcome
Blushing
Use Hypnosis
to Overcome
Blushing
by Graham Old
Use Hypnosis to Overcome Blushing
Copyright © GRAHAM OLD
Published 2017 by Plastic Spoon
The right of Graham Old to be identified as

the author of this Work has been asserted by
him in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of
the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication

may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, copied in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording or otherwise transmitted without
written permission from the publisher. You
must not circulate this book in any format.
Acknowledgements
We are grateful to the friends, family members and

fellow patients who have contributed to this book.
We are also indebted to those who co-attended
support groups, training sessions and therapeutic
meetings with us and agreed to trust us with their
experiences.
Some of the material in this book has been taken
from The Anxiety Guide, co-written with Melanie
Planas. I am grateful for her kind permission to
reproduce it here.
All Rights Reserved
Please do not copy any portion of this work without

explicit permission from the author.
Disclaimer
Please be aware that any experimentation with the

ideas presented in this book is undertaken at your
own risk and responsibility. Nothing in this book
should be taken as a replacement for seeking
professional psychiatric or medical support.
Preface to the Series
This is the first book in the 'Use Hypnosis' series of

books.
The idea for the series arose due to the number
of times we at briefhypnosis.com have been asked
how to treat particular conditions. There is a
tendency amongst newly qualified hypnotherapists
to think that there is one answer to questions such
as, “How do you treat blushing?” They then seek a
script which will function as a one-size fits all
panacea. It may be helpful to explain how these
books take a different approach, particularly as they
each end with a script.
We begin by looking at the issue in question, be
that smoking, blushing or stress. We do not
presume that the experience is the same for every
person who faces such issues. Therefore, we spend
some time looking at the nature of the issue and
dealing with any necessary theoretical foundations.
We then look at the general approach that might
be recommended in the majority of cases. This is
not a 'do this, then that…' exercise. Instead, we will
share the range of ideas and techniques that we
would consider, all things being equal. At all times,
it is the responsibility of the reader to determine
what does and does not apply in their situation.
Finally, we finish with the script. This is most
certainly not something that is just meant to be
read to the person facing the issue. Each script is a
record of an actual transcript of the ideas and
approach in action. The only changes that have
been made are to make it more universally explicit,
where it would have previously been focused on one
person's situation. The idea is for you to read
through the script and note any areas where you
can make it more specific or applicable in your case.
The feature that may make this series of books
unique, compared to other hypnotherapy books, is
that it is aimed both at hypnotists and their client. If
you are using these books for yourself – rather than
to inform your hypnosis with others – you may want
to record the script and use it as a self-hypnosis
resource. Again, it would be recommended to read
through it first, to note any areas where you can
make it more specific to your unique experience.
You can then record the script, making it more
applicable to your circumstances.
The terminology in this book regularly shifts
between 'you' and 'your client' to accommodate
both sets of readers.
Please note that these books are intentionally
kept short. The idea is not to write about e.g.
blushing. Instead, we intend to provide a quick
guide that a practitioner or sufferer can pick up and
start working with, to resolve their problem as soon
as possible. You might choose to think of these
books as hypnosis scripts with long introductions!
Contents
Introduction 9
Why do we Blush? 13
Is Blushing a Problem? 17
General Tips 23
Changing Your Mind 40
Quick Interventions 50
Autogenic Training 57
Collapsing Anchors 60
Try to Blush 69
The Hypnosis Script 71
Self-Instructional Training 93
Conclusion 100
Appendix 103
USE HYPNOSIS TO OVERCOME BLUSHING
Introduction
This book is divided into a number of sections,

through which it will become progressively
practical. We know the discomfort that blushing
can cause and the lack of understanding often felt
by those who suffer from chronic blushing.
Therefore, we wanted to begin by discussing the
nature of blushing, to reassure the reader that we
have a fairly good idea what they are going
through.
If you are reading this book to help other
people, these preliminary thoughts will be useful
to give you a clearer picture of what is happening
when someone blushes. This is more than a
theoretical discussion. It is an exercise in
empathy. It also lays the foundation for why we
treat blushing the way that we do.
9
GRAHAM OLD
We will then move on to the general approach

that we recommend in dealing with blushing,
along with ideas and techniques to employ.
Finally, we will provide a script for you to adapt
and use with clients, or to record as a self-
hypnosis resources for yourself.
We are not suggesting that this is the only way
to use hypnosis to overcome blushing. However, it
is the Brief Hypnosis approach and we have found
it to be consistently effective and reliable.
How to Use this Book
We are offering the techniques, ideas and

suggestions in this book as an approach to use
when dealing with blushing. Not every idea will
work for everyone. The only way to find that out
is to put it into practice.
If you think of blushing as a unique ability that
you or your client has, it stands to reason that a
certain level of re-training may be necessary. We
can think of this as either a skill that needs to be
unlearned, or a new skill (that is, not blushing
10
problematically) that needs to be learnt.

It is not our suggestion that blushing be treated
in one session, though this is certainly possible.
We have seen people conquer their problem
blushing just through use of the collapsing
anchors technique. However, as you proceed with
this book, you will see that there are a number of
elements to blushing and there is no reason not to
address them all. This is not to say that treatment
needs to be long or laborious. However, there are
exercises that we recommend employing between
sessions, so that would suggest at least 2 or 3
sessions is optimal.
The most beneficial way to make use of this
book is to read it in order, finishing with the
script. However, it is possible to work effectively
using solely the General Tips, Collapsing Anchors
and the script.
We do not recommend that you read the script
verbatim to your client. It is meant to provoke
ideas and demonstrate how we put some of our
approach into action. A useful way to employ it is
to read through, note which elements are useful
11
GRAHAM OLD
and how it is structured. Then proceed with your

own more tailor-made script. This is true also if
you are planning to record the script to use for
self-hypnosis.
It would be a mistake to think that someone
using this book would eliminate blushing from
their life completely. Blushing is a completely
natural and – at times – productive human
reaction. Everybody blushes in all kinds of
scenarios. The person who no longer considers
themselves a blusher will still blush every now
and again. The difference is that it will not be a
distressing or troubling experience for them. It is
therefore recommended that ex-blushers continue
to make use of some of the exercises in this book,
even after treatment has finished. Of particular
use would be Autogenic Training and Self-
Instructional Training.
12
Why do we Blush?
We appear to blush when we feel embarrassed or

exposed in some way. For chronic blushers,
discussed more in the next chapter, that may not
always be the case as the fear of such exposure –
or even the fear that others will think we are
embarrassed – can itself be enough to bring on a
blush. Blushing is therefore predominantly a social
condition and tends to be related to what we
perceive or fear other people to be thinking about
us.
When we are embarrassed our bodies release
adrenaline. This hormone acts as a natural
stimulant and has an array of effects on our
bodies that are all part of the 'fight-or-flight'
response. The release of adrenaline speeds up our
breathing and heart rate to prepare us to run
13
GRAHAM OLD
from danger, or stand and fight. It also causes our

pupils to grow bigger to allow us to take in as
much visual information as possible. It also slows
down the digestive process so that the energy can
be redirected to our muscles.
All in all, it is a fairly impressive system, which
you might think we would have no reason to
complain about. That is, however, until you
consider the distress this whole process causes for
those people who struggle with blushing.
For the adrenaline also causes our blood
vessels to dilate (or widen), in order to improve
blood flow and oxygen delivery. This is the case
with blushing. The veins in our face dilate,
allowing more blood to flow through them than
usual, creating the reddened appearance that tells
others we're embarrassed.
The blood vessels that cause blushing are fairly
close to the surface, thus allowing the redness to
be seen. However, why blood should flow to our
face is unclear. It is obvious why blood flows to
our muscles in a fight or flight scenario – to
prepare for action - but why the face?
14
Blushing is caused by overheating of the skin in

response to feeling anxious. The widening of small
blood vessels which lie just beneath the skin's
surface allows more blood to pass through the
vessels in order to cool the skin. This additional
blood-flow turns the face red, unfortunately
causing the sufferer to become even more
anxious and feel more exposed.
Blushing helps cool us down by dissipating heat
through the surface of the skin. “Hundreds of tiny
blood vessels instantaneously open up, flooding
the skin with blood,” says Richard Fried, a
dermatologist and clinical psychologist in Yardley,
Pennsylvania. “The vessels act like emergency
release valves to prevent the body from
overheating.”
Physical and Psychological
It is helpful to emphasise that blushing is

controlled by the same system that activates your
fight-or-flight response: the sympathetic nervous
system. This system is involuntary and in that
15
GRAHAM OLD
sense operates below the level of conscious

awareness. This is useful for our purposes as
hypnosis is perfect for treating such so-called
'subconscious' processes.
It can be seen that blushing has a physical and
psychological element. It may start with a simple
case of embarrassment, which then initiates a
series of events culminating in someone blushing.
The fact that blushing has this dual element to
it means that it is best treated on two levels.
There are the physical factors to address, such as
the reddening of the cheeks, physical over-
heating, the increased heart-rate and so on.
However, there are also psychological factors that
can be helped, including over-self-consciousness,
low self confidence and anxiety.
As you will see when you get to our general
tips, there are some very practical steps that we
suggest. There are also some psychological helps
that can be employed. We recommend that you
take a holistic approach and address the vicious
circle of blushing from all sides.
16
Is Blushing a Problem?
Ray Crozier is a psychology professor at the

University of East Anglia. He has written, in The
Puzzle of Blushingi, that blushing evolved as a
means of enforcing the social codes to which we
must adhere for our societies to function in a
friendly manner. By blushing when we're
embarrassed, we show other people that we
recognize that we have just made a social
mistake, and that we are paying the price for it.
Others who see us blushing after a social faux pas
or an awkward situation will understand from
experience the unpleasant feelings that we are
going through at that moment. Blushing may
therefore serve as something of a nonverbal,
physical apology for our mistake.
Crozier goes further than this and states that it
17
GRAHAM OLD
is likely that embarrassment displays emotional

intelligence. 'A prerequisite for embarrassment is
to be able to feel how others feel -- you have to
be empathetic, intelligent to the social situation.'
This empathy and social intelligence appears to
develop in humans at an early age, around the
time we enter school and we begin to engage in
social situations with others. By studying the
development of this social intelligence,
psychologists have found that blushing develops
alongside our consciousness of others. This lends
further support to the notion that blushing has a
social basis.
There is research to suggest that people who
blush are perceived to be friendly, empathic and
trustworthy. This may be because they 'wear their
heart on their sleeve' and their emotions are not
as well hidden as other people's.
In some cultures, blushing is positively received
as a sign of contrition or virtue. In is unfortunate
that, in the West, many people who suffer with
blushing feel that everyone will see it as a weak
or even childish thing. The opposite appears to be
18
true, with blushing being something that occurs

as we develop both physically and socially.
Blushing reveals a certain level of social
awareness and responsibility. The research of
Crozier and others demonstrates that many of us
view people who blush in a positive way and they
appreciate the display of honesty and humility.
Why is it a Problem?
Blushing tends to become a problem for those

people who are extra-sensitive towards it. This
could be for a number of reasons. They may have
low self-confidence, over-self-consciousness, or
even simply be fair skinned. For whatever reason,
some people blush more than others. It stands to
reason that it tends to be these people who dread
blushing and can blush at the very thought of it.
Embarrassment and exposure are some of the
psychological reasons behind blushing for the
general population. However, for those people
that we might term chronic or 'problem blushers,'
the fear that someone will think they are
19
GRAHAM OLD
embarrassed or exposed in some way can be

enough to initiate a blush.
I have previously worked with a blusher who
heard two people near her talking about an
unusual sexual practice they had both seen
discussed in a documentary the night before. She
began to blush, but not for the reason that you
might think. People witnessing the scene may
have concluded that she was prudish and
disapproved of the conversation. Or they may
have felt that she indulged in the practice herself.
Either way, it may have looked like the blushing
had exposed something about the blusher that
she would rather keep to herself. However, none
of that is true.
This young woman began blushing because she
thought to herself, 'if I blush, they are going to
think I like that sort of thing.' So it was the fear of
being incorrectly exposed – not any actual
exposure itself – that caused this woman to blush.
Previously we have spoken of the vicious circle
of blushing. This concern that problem blushers
have only increases the viciousness of the circle.
20
They are anxious – in some cases, so much so

that we might call it a phobia – about blushing.
Due to that, they pay extra attention to any bodily
signals that may reveal that they are blushing, or
are about to start. They are also already thinking
some of the thoughts that people have when they
are blushing, such as, “They think/will-think I am
stupid.” Their thinking causes their heart-rate to
increase as they get nervous about something
that is about to happen (a blush). They notice the
feeling of an increased heart-rate and think, “Oh,
no… Here we go again!” They are then fully in the
physical-psychological circle of a blush reaction.
They have created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The thing that is particularly cruel about
blushing for problem blushers is that it appears to
become more likely each time it happens. In their
mind, every single instance of a blush can be
taken as proof that they are a “blusher” and they
will therefore blush. So, the next time a situation
arises when there could be the slightest possibility
of being embarrassed, exposed or the centre of
attention, they fear that they will blush and set in
21
GRAHAM OLD
motion the series of events to make it happen.
22
General Tips
Below are some general tips which I share with

clients who come to me for hypnotherapy to
resolve their blushing. If they are coming in for
one session, I send them the tips beforehand, so
they can read and implement them. If they are
coming in for 2 or 3 sessions, I go through the
tips with them in session 1 and send them away
with the following information to work through.
***
The key to overcoming blushing is so obvious

that most people miss it. In fact, many of those
who find out about it fail to take it seriously,
because it is so simple. However, those who learn
23
GRAHAM OLD
this simple step and put it into practice find that it

is the powerful secret they have been waiting for.
The trick to overcome blushing is this: stop
focusing on your blushing! This might sound too
good to be true, but multitudes of ex-blushers can
say that it worked for them. So, here are 12
practical tips which are all designed to help you
join them.
1) So, you Blush. So what?
Blushing tends to get worse at first as people

start to get embarrassed about their own
embarrassment, creating a sort of vicious circle.
The more tense you get as you start to blush, the
more the blood is forced to your face.
Therefore, the key is to not worry about it
happening and to become less bothered if you do
blush (I know this is hard at first). If you can
blush and not really care, then do you actually
have a problem? When you start to care less and
less whether you blush or not and to just ignore it
if it does happen, you begin to blush less and
24
less.
Please believe me, I know how impossible this
sounds if it is the first time you've heard it. You
may feel like blushing is ruining your life and you
may want to throw this book away in anger at the
absurd idea of not worrying about it. Yet, I am
confident that before you know it, you will be
telling other people that the way you cured your
blushing was by learning not to worry about it.
Almost everything else in this chapter flows out
of this vital tip: To get rid of blushing, stop caring
about it.
2) Relax!
Keep in mind that blushing is a natural

response. It is merely caused by the fight or flight
response which prepares a person for battle or to
run. Blushing is caused by the sudden
hyperactivity of the sympathetic nervous system
which dilates the small blood vessels of the face
due to adrenaline. Therefore, the trick to stop
blushing is simply just to relax which means that
25
GRAHAM OLD
adrenaline won't be produced. Step 3 will help

with this.
Giving yourself time to relax each day will work
wonders for your blood pressure, stress levels and
general health. Having a generally red face
doesn't mean you are unhealthy but if you find
that your redness comes and goes often it could
be a sign that your body isn't happy with the way
you're driving it. It might just be time for you to
discover the power of relaxation.
If you are practising relaxation on a regular
basis, the more prepared you will be to employ it
when you feel a blush coming on. Let's face it,
there are very few of us who would not benefit
from learning to relax more!
3) Breathe
When you become anxious, your rate of

breathing increases (related to the fight or flight
response), which you may not even notice is
occurring. This anxiety sometimes leads to
blushing. If you do notice yourself becoming
26
anxious, train your body to relax. Relax your

shoulders and try the following breathing
technique.
7/11 Breathing is a great technique that allows
you to relax at any time. The technique is simply
to breathe in for the count of 7 and out for the
count of 11. This works because your body has to
relax when you have a longer out-breath (people
naturally sigh when they are stressed because the
extended out-breath calms them down).
Count at the same speed for the in-breath as
the out-breath, but find a rate which is
comfortable for your lungs. You may find you
have to breathe-in slightly “harder” and out “more
gently”. Just keep the rate constant without
getting out of breath. The most important part of
the technique is to ensure the out-breath is longer
than the in-breath. If a count of 7 and 11 is too
much, then try a count of 5 and 9.
The more you use this technique the more you
will notice the benefits and the technique will
become easier. If you make this a regular part of
your daily or weekly ritual, you will thank me
27
GRAHAM OLD
later.
4) Concentrate on the other person
To also help yourself to stop worrying about

blushing, try to really concentrate on what the
person is saying (if someone is speaking to you)
or on what you are saying (if you are speaking).
The thing is to channel your thoughts in a
different direction. It also helps to speak in a
confident voice (not timidly) and a good posture
will help you to feel confident - sit or stand
straight with your shoulders back.
Quite a useful exercise, particularly for those
who have some experience with hypnosis or self-
hypnosis, is to imagine seeing something from a
third person’s perspective. I describe this to my
client’s as the “Trance Person Exercise”. The idea
is to imagine yourself floating out of your body
and placing yourself as an observer on your
current conversation. Then you can feel free to let
that third person (the trance person) either
experience the blushing for you – so send the
28
focus of your attention to their cheeks – or you

can carry on the conversation whilst the trance
person observes everything they can about your
conversation partner. I tell some clients that they
can even play a game and see if the trance
person can focus on the other person so much
that it causes them to blush instead of you.
All of these tips share one thing in common –
they involve helping you (more than anyone else)
focus on something other than the blushing. After
all, do you really want to be the kind of person
who talks to others but is really only focused on
themselves? Distract yourself in the best way
possible: by focusing on others.
5) Natural make-up
Whilst working all of these points into your life

(and it may take some time before all of them are
habitual for you) you could try using some good
cosmetics to help cover the redness. The vital key
is that your make-up looks natural, because you
don’t want to feel as if you are wearing a mask.
29
GRAHAM OLD
That will only cause you and others to focus on

your face even more, which is the opposite of
what you want! However, a thin layer of very
natural make-up might help you feel secure
enough to take your mind off of your face.
(This is only a temporary measure and is not
recommended for most people. I only mention it
because I have known one or two people who felt
that their blushing was ruining their life to such an
extent that they wanted to undertake dangerous
surgery in the hope that it would fix the problem
immediately. They did not feel that they could
wait for 1 or 2 sessions of therapy, so I suggested
they try using make-up whilst they did so.)
6) Water
Drink plenty of water. This is more important

than you might think and is one of the main tips
that worked for me. Drinking water helps to keep
the general body temperature down and is
something anxiety sufferers are told to do as part
of their recovery plan. Try to drink at least a few
30
pints a day, or more if you can.

As well as helping cool down the body, this
provides a useful distraction for you and those
with you. (See tip 9, below.) If you need to, you
can then blame any redness on a persistent cough
that you are drinking water to cope with!
7) Own it and Admit it – hey, I'm blushing…
One of the best tips I learned for myself - and

something that has helped clients of mine - was
to announce when a blush is about to happen.
"Here we go, I'm going to go red now" or "Oh, I
think I might blush. It’s something I do at the
moment!” You may as well announce it as an
endearing little quirk, rather than struggle to hide
it as a hideous nuisance!
Related to this, is the fact that very few
blushers truly experience a blush as it is
happening. So, when they hear me say that they
should stop focusing upon it, they presume that I
am asking the impossible. Yet, what they
experience is the struggle of trying to battle with
31
GRAHAM OLD
their blushing, whilst panicking about how bad it’s

going to get and worrying about what people are
thinking of them. I wonder if they’ve ever taken
the time to sit on their own and create a blush
and see that it is not - or does not need to be -
half as troubling as they had feared.
You need to change your perspective on
blushing. At the moment, you are trying to hide it
because you are embarrassed about it. If you can
work on relaxing about it, it will get better. This
will be helped by you accepting it as a current
part of your experience. You can try saying to
yourself, "At the moment, I blush now and again."
It sounds strange, but if you can bring yourself to
like that part of you more, it is more likely to go
away! Trust me, I speak from experience.
8) Think Positive!
The minute you feel a blush coming on,

challenge any of the negative thoughts associated
with it. With practice, you will notice that a blush
does not usually arrive unannounced. It normally
32
involves you thinking negative thoughts about

yourself and/or what someone else is thinking
about you. So, as soon as you think you sense a
blush coming, flood your brain with positive
thoughts about yourself - and others.
Don’t worry about stopping the blush itself, but
focus on the positives. (That is, don’t think about
what you want to NOT do. Think about what you
DO want to do.) Imagine controlling the blood
flow to your face, by controlling your breathing.
Imagine the redness draining out of your face and
it actually becoming pale and flat as you relax and
all the excess blood flows away as your breathe
out, to be replaced by a happy peacefulness each
time you breathe in. Or simply imagine changing
the blush and red patches into healthy rosy
cheeks.
This takes practice and imagination, but it can
be learned and often happens naturally without
realising it. Just notice how effective it is to
distract yourself and/or others the second you
think a blush is coming.
33
GRAHAM OLD
9) Take a (temporary) break
If you are feeling anxious, there is nothing to

stop you walking away from the situation
temporarily. But you then must return to the
situation, otherwise you are teaching yourself
unhealthy avoidance. For example, having a quick
break may include getting up from the table in a
cafe to take a napkin from the front counter (and
then returning to the table), or having a toilet
break, having a drink of water, etc. Often it helps
just to remind yourself that there is nothing to
stop you having a quick break if you want to,
even if you may not end up doing this.
This tip serves to help you relax, takes the
focus off of the feared blush and slows down your
breathing.
34
10) Look at others in a Positive light
It also helps to think that people are on your

side and have good intentions towards you. Other
people are normally too occupied and concerned
with thinking about what they look like and what
they are saying and therefore don't really care
what you look like and often won't even notice
you are blushing. As someone once said, we
would not worry so much what other people think
of us, if we realised how rarely they do.
Part of the embarrassment about blushing is
caused by the thought that others will see you as
weak or silly. However, everyone has had the
experience of being embarrassed, and it's not nice
for anyone. Any decent person will be sympathetic
about it. Anyone who thinks less of you for it is
most probably not worth worrying about anyway!
An example of focusing on others, in a positive
way, would be imagining how you would feel if
you saw someone else suffering like you, and
then feel that way towards yourself. Practice
feeling acceptance towards yourself as you feel a
blush coming on.
35
GRAHAM OLD
11) Avoid too much Caffeine
Caffeine is a terrible cause of facial flushing and

redness in general around the face. Try to cut it
out as much as possible as it literally dehydrates
your body and the tiredness as a result can cause
redness, flushing and hot flashes.
Of course, it’s also worth avoiding too many hot
or spicy foods. It’s almost common sense that hot
drinks or hot/spicy food can trigger a red face and
a heavy sweat for a huge number of people.
12) Stop Looking for a Blush!
Something that the majority of Blushers do -

which non-blushers do not do - is expect a blush
and look for it until it arrives. For example, you
might be in a situation in which you feel
uncomfortable and you might expect to start
blushing. So, you wait for and look for the
sensations of a blush to arrive. You might notice a
change in your breathing, so you then turn your
attention to your cheeks until you can sense a
36
raise in the temperature there. You wait until you

have got that and then you observe how the blush
spreads from there. Essentially, you create and
develop the blush all by yourself!
Of course, the good news is that if you possess
the ability to create a blush, then you must also
have the ability to stop a blush.
It is vital to recognise the fact that you blush at
times when you do not realise you are blushing.
And, even more importantly, some of the times
when you think you are blushing, you actually are
not. So, it might make sense not to place too
much trust in those sensations that you interpret
as the beginnings of a blush. It could well be that
you are looking for - and thereby creating - a
blush when all that was really happening was that
you were getting a little hot, or breathing a little
more quickly, or generating nice rosy cheeks. And
that hardly deserves your attention.
***
The main elements of our approach will have
37
GRAHAM OLD
become clear in the tips above:
 Use distraction if necessary

 Challenge your thinking about yourself
 Change your focus
 Learn not to care if you blush
The only other item I would particularly highlight

is the drinking of water. Carrying a bottle of water
with you at all times, gives you i) the perfect
distraction if you need it, ii) it can provide a
change of focus as you stop to drink and iii) it can
provide you with an excuse for your blushing if
you fake a coughing fit!
That last point is meant in humour, but there is
nothing wrong with being creative. If you have
water with you, then you are prepared for a blush
in a practical and solution-oriented way. That is
much preferable to preparing for a blush by
simply waiting for it and then amplifying it.
As you will see, our approach addresses both
38
the physical and psychological elements of

blushing. It also hinges on that all-important point
that it makes a number of times: the key to
overcoming blushing is to not mind when it
happens. I have yet to work with a client for
whom that has not been true.
39
GRAHAM OLD
Changing Your Mind
Ask your client to think of a scenario in which

they have blushed. Or think of one yourself, if it
applies. Ask them to pause the scene just before
they start to blush. Then ask them what they are
thinking. I tend to word it something like, “So,
what is that voice in your head saying to you at
that point in time?” It may sound like a strange
question, but to date everyone I have asked it of
has known what I meant.
Typically, they respond with things like, “You're
going to blush,” “They will think you're stupid,” or
similar. You can practically guarantee that it is not
going to be something positive!
Some people may struggle to hone-in on their
internal dialogue, particularly if it is not something
40
they have thought to do previously. Thankfully,

there is a deceptively simple tool which you can
use to overcome that. You can ask them to
imagine themselves with a cartoon-like thought
bubble above their head a split second before
they start to blush, or even begin that cycle of
blushing. What would be in that bubble?
Now you are going to help your client to adjust
their internal voice, to see if it might make a
difference to how they feel.
Change your Thinking
Ask your client to pay attention to the negative

statements they made to themselves. We are
talking about the specifics that people do not
normally even notice – like, where is the
statement in your head? On the left, the right?
Behind you or in front? (These questions will
sound completely nonsensical until they actually
do this!) Either way, have them change the
location, e.g swap sides, and see if this changes
how they feel in that scenario.
41
GRAHAM OLD
Next, ask them to think about how they made

those internal statements. Did they say them in
their normal conversational voice, or were they
said at a faster tempo? It tends to be the case
that anxiety-driven mind-chatter is faster than our
usual speaking voice. If that is the case here, ask
them to repeat it to themselves, about one-third
slower than they usually say it.
Reduce the speed once again and repeat the
statement. Tell your client to pay attention to how
that changes what they feel.
Then, once more, reduce the speed. And notice
what is different.
Now, ask them to think of that scenario as they
used to. Ask them to notice what is different.
Some people prefer to change more than the
speed of the voice. I read about someone who
changes the voice to that of Minnie Mouse, so I
went ahead and changed my negative internal
voice to Bart Simpson. When I did that, no matter
what the voice said, it was difficult to take it
seriously!
42
If blushing has been a problem for a prolonged

length of time, it can have a real impact on
someone's life and how they view themselves.
Changing the speed or sound of the voice to
something like a precocious child or sulky teen
can have a dramatic effect.
I would not be surprised if someone reading
this was sceptical as to how useful such a
technique is. I can only invite you to try it and see
for yourself.
Challenging your Thinking
Again, ask your client to think of the type of

scenario that could be almost guaranteed to make
them blush. We are going to have them focus
again on what they are saying to themselves at
such times.
So What?
Some people find that just by adding the
words, "so," or, “so what,” to the beginning of
their internal statements, they have less of an
43
GRAHAM OLD
effect on them. For example, you could change,

"What if they don't like me?" to "so what if they
don't like me?" And "I can't do this!" to "So what
if I can't do this?"
The Dr. Pepper Question

An extension of the above practice, is simply
asking the Dr. Pepper question - “What's the
worst that could happen?”
Whatever answer someone comes up with could
lead to another, “So what?” Or they might be
inclined to ask again, “And then what? What's the
worst that could happen? ...And then what?”
As you follow this line of reasoning, your client
may find that the irrationality of their anxiety
becomes obvious. Often this is because of what
CBT therapists call, catastrophising – the habitual
thinking pattern of presuming things will end as
disastrously as they possibly could.
Alternatively, they may reach the opposite
place where you see that what they were
worrying about was not particularly worthy of
44
their anxiety in the first place – either because it

is unlikely to happen, or would not be all that
significant if it did.
One client I worked with said that the worst
thing that could happen would be that he would
blush and people would laugh. We followed this
line of reasoning until he was describing
evacuating his bowels and throwing-up in front of
a girl he had a crush on. I said to him that it
would be worse if he threw up on the girl and he
agreed. We then both had a laugh about it and he
realised that his blushes were not quite as awful
as he had always imagined them to be.
F*ck It!
Some people find that the perfect response to
some of this internal chatter is to say, “fuck it!”
This can take on two different meanings.
On the one hand, it can mean, “So what?” as
above. “They don't like me. So what? Fuck it! Who
cares?”
This is often a helpful response when the
chatter is something that cannot be changed,
45
GRAHAM OLD
perhaps because it relates to a historic matter.

Alternatively, “fuck it!” can be a declaration of
intention. It is a recognition that things are a
certain way, that they do not have to be that way,
and that the necessary actions to change things
are going to be taken, gawd dammit!
Either way, “fuck it!” recognises that the least
productive thing we can do about something we
are worried about is worry about it. If you are
someone who blushes, you may have purchased
this book precisely because you are at the point of
deciding that you now want to do something
about it.
46
Change your Focus
One reason for blushing is that we can feel as if

we are the unwanted centre of attention. For
chronic blushers, this may not be true in the
slightest, even after they have started blushing.
Yet, they fear blushing to such a degree that they
convince themselves they are the centre of
attention, or that they will blush and become it.
Of course, this creates a blush which – in their
mind at least – then makes them the centre of
attention.
The key with this is to have strategies to
change the focus. Predominantly, I am talking
about blushers changing the focus in their own
mind, so that they do not convince themselves
they are the centre of attention. However, I will
include some tips in the next chapter for those
occasions when the blusher actually may be the
centre of attention and feels the need to divert
this onto someone or something else.
Changing perspective and your own focus
during a conversation can be a powerful way to
remove the feeling that you are the centre of
47
GRAHAM OLD
attention. This works because you literally make

someone else the centre of your attention.
We have already talked about the Trance Person
Exercise in our General Tips handout. However, it
is useful to remind ourselves of the main points.
The idea is to imagine seeing the conversation
from a third person’s perspective. So, you imagine
yourself floating out of your body and placing
yourself as an observer, or almost as a third party
in the conversation. Then you can let that third
person either experience the blushing for you, or
you can carry on the conversation whilst the
trance person observes everything they can about
your conversation partner. The third person will
need to notice every possible thing about the
other person, as if they might have to give a
description to the Police later on.
Look – from the third perspective – intently at
your conversation partner. Look for any signs of
anything like a blush. Maybe there is a slight rosy
tinge to their cheek, or perhaps their left ear-lobe
is just a little bit red. As you have experienced
blushing yourself, you will no doubt feel
48
compassion for your partner if they do in fact

begin to blush.
Once you have successfully taken the focus off
of yourself (in your own mind), you are then free
to place it on someone else. Really listen to what
they have to say. Look at their eyes as they speak
and see how intently they mean what they say or
how passionately they believe in what they are
talking about.
Before you know it, you will be having a normal
conversation, without giving a second thought to
feeling like you were the centre of attention.
49
GRAHAM OLD
Quick Interventions
This chapter shares some ideas for quick

distractions that can be used if you feel like you
are the centre of attention in a social situation.
Please note that these ideas have come from my
clients, who have personally used them
successfully. That means that not all of them will
work for everyone, but they have been road-
tested and found effective.
Tell a Joke!
This may seem incredibly counter-active. If you

are already the centre of attention, the last thing
you may want to do is tell a joke, which simply
puts more attention on you. However, a client that
I worked with was employed in a predominantly
50
male environment, where joking and chiding one

another was a regular practice. He was known to
blush, which would cause others to point it out
and for some of them to laugh. This was not
meant in a cruel mocking way, as they were a
group of friends. Yet, although my client laughed
along, he felt devastated each time it happened.
So, he decided to take things into his own
hands and utilise the fact that people were
already laughing. He said something like, “Okay,
I'll give you something to laugh at. I've got a joke
and I bet a pint that no one here has one funnier.”
A couple of people accepted the challenge, so he
then told his joke:
“What kind of Bees produce milk? …Boo-bies!”
Everyone laughed, though my client reported

that because they were now laughing for the
'right' reason, it did not feel the same as when he
was blushing. Additionally, because he had taken
charge of the situation, even though he was the
centre of attention, he said that it felt different.
51
GRAHAM OLD
A couple of other people then told their jokes,

meaning that the attention naturally shifted to
others.
This is a technique to use if you feel like you
can fake being confident long enough to tell the
joke. My client said that he felt like he was acting
and was able to get into role. If you feel like that
is something you could do, you might want to give
it a go. Some jokes are provided in the appendix.
They are intentionally cringe-worthy enough to
get a laugh!
Drink Water
Take a drink of water from the bottle that you

now carry with you everywhere that you go. Take
your time. You can even keep going until you
think of something to say once you've stopped
drinking!
“I need to drink more water,” “I needed that,”
or, “Damn, I wish that was a beer!” are common
favourites when appropriate.
52
Ask a question
If you hate being the centre of attention, it may

surprise you to know that most people like talking
about themselves. At the very least, they like
talking about subjects that are close to their
heart. You can use this to redirect the attention
from you to them.
However, if you immediately jump to, “So, tell
me about your horse,” it may seem unusual. It is
preferable to have a go-between question that
you use as a bridge to get them talking about
something they like to talk about.
An example used by a nurse I worked with
might demonstrate this:
“How is Mr. Humphries is bed 4?”
After she took the attention off of herself by

asking a natural enough question, she then said:
“I've been meaning to ask, how is your Dad?”
53
GRAHAM OLD
Relaxation
Using subtle relaxation techniques can be useful

whilst you are waiting for the attention to move
off of you.
Most simple of all, take a deep breath and drop
your shoulders. With practice, you will be
surprised how that can help to relax you and
intercept a blush.
Alternatively, you might want to try a version of
7-11 Breathing mentioned in the General Tips.
Redirect Heat
This technique will make sense if you have read

the chapter on Autogenic Training. As soon as you
become aware of your cheeks feeling like they are
going red – practice redirecting the heat from
your face to your hands or feet.
You could imagine being in your special place
(mentioned in the autogenic training chapter) and
imagine a cool breeze hitting your face, removing
the warmth. Then, imagine saying, “My feet are
54
warm and heavy, my feet are warm and heavy,

my feet are warm and heavy, my feet are warm
and heavy...” To assist with this, you could
imagine sitting in front of a log-fire, with your
shoes off as you warm your feet.
This simple practice can be enough to take your
focus off of the blushing cycle, as well as giving
time for the attention to naturally come off of you
and move to someone or something else.
Confidence technique
The following technique is used in the

hypnotherapy script at the end of this book.
However, for now I will provide a brief description
of its use.
Think of an occasion when you were feeling

super-confident. If you cannot access a
memory of a specific event, an imagined
memory is fine. Associate into the image, so
that you see what you saw then (looking
through your own eyes), hear what you
heard and feel what you felt. As you feel the
55
GRAHAM OLD
confidence increase in intensity, squeeze

the thumb and forefinger on your right hand
together for a few moments, as if you are
locking in the feeling in that OK symbol.
Then, as the feeling is reaching its peak, let
go. Now ‘break state’ (for example, think of
your favourite colour). Squeeze your thumb
and forefinger together again. The
confidence will return.
As you can see, this is a remarkably simple yet

effective technique. You 'anchor' the previous
feeling of confidence to the client squeezing their
finger and thumb together. Then, when they need
to recall the confidence, they simply repeat the
action.
Please see the hypnotherapy script for another
example of this.
56
Autogenic Training
I always think that Autogenic Training sounds far

more fancy than it actually is! The word
'autogenic' simply means 'self-generated.'
At its most basic form, Autogenic Training is a
means of announcing how a particular body part
is feeling and then allowing yourself to experience
that feeling.
How to Practice Autogenic Training
Find a quiet place free from distractions. Lie on

the floor or recline in a chair. Loosen any tight
clothing and remove glasses or contacts. Rest
your hands in your lap or on the arms of the chair.
Uncross your legs and relax your arms at your
sides.
57
GRAHAM OLD
Take a few slow, deep breaths then say to

yourself the following statements slowly. Repeat
each of the statements 3 to 6 times. As you do
so, visualise experiencing each sensation as you
state it.
Typical Autogenic Training Stages
Here is a typical Autogenic Training set of

statements for you to follow:
 My arms are heavy. My left arm is heavy. My

right arm is heavy. Both of my arms are heavy.
 My legs are heavy. My left leg is heavy. My right

leg is heavy. Both of my legs are heavy.
 My arms are warm. My left arm is warm. My

right arm is warm. Both of my arms are warm.
 My legs are warm. My left leg is warm. My right

leg is warm. Both of my legs are warm.
58
 My heartbeat is calm and regular.
 My breathing is calm and regular.
 My abdomen is warm.
 My forehead is cool.
When you are done, take a few deep breaths and

slowly open your eyes.
And that's it! It's surprisingly simple for
something with such a grandiose name. You will
find that your results will improve with regular
practice.
59
GRAHAM OLD
Collapsing Anchors
This step has been written for the reader who

struggles with blushing. However, you will see
that it can easily be converted into a
hypnotherapy script. If you are reading this for
yourself, you may find it most helpful to record
the chapter and play it back to yourself later.
What is an Anchor?
An anchor is simply a term used to describe the

association between a stimulus and certain
emotional responses. Imagine being a small child,
when the neighbour's dog ran up to the front gate
barking loudly. It made you jump and your parent
screamed in surprise. Now, years later, whenever
you hear a dog bark, a flood of fear washes over
60
you. You could say that your childhood experience

'anchored' the connection between the sound of a
dog-barking and the state of fear.
We will be using the Collapsing Anchors process
to effectively neutralise such earlier established
anchors.
Choose your States
The first thing to do when collapsing anchors is

to choose a specific situation when you blushed.
Think of a scenario that almost has you blushing
the moment you recall it.
Then, clear your mind and think of the positive
state that you would like to feel instead, when
faced with a similar situation trigger. This is often
the exact opposite of what you felt when you were
blushing. For example, anxious/confident, or it
could be calm, excited, or simply a neutral state
instead, like peaceful. Now, if you can, think of a
specific time you have been in that positive state,
or for best results, choose a few examples of a
time you have been in that state, and you can add
61
GRAHAM OLD
them all together in a moment.
The Positive Anchor
Start by anchoring the positive state. Make sure

that you are fully associated when you do this –
which means seeing the memory through your
own eyes, feeling what you felt, and hearing what
you heard. Make the memory/image big, bright,
colourful and vivid. Envelope yourself with all of
those positive emotions.
Now, anchor the positive state by squeezing
your right hand together into a fist whilst you’re
feeling all the positive emotions. (One theory is
that using different hands uses the different
hemispheres of the brain, making it easier to
integrate your states.) Release the anchor when
the emotion is at – or just before - its peak.
Break the State
To know if this is really working, it is important

to clear your mind, or “break the state,” as you
62
switch between anchors. Otherwise, you won't

know if you are merely still feeling the previous
state, or genuinely experiencing a new one.
So, “break state” by doing something else for a
minute. Wiggle your toes. Recite a Nursery
Rhyme. Do 6 Star-jumps. You can choose!
Stack Positive Anchors
Now, we are going to “stack” anchors. This

simply means anchoring a different memory of
the same positive emotion, or a related state, on
top of a previous one. So, an example would be
confidence, calm, fearlessness and so on. Use the
same fist to anchor each of these experiences on
top of each other, remembering to make them as
real and vivid as you can and then squeezing your
right fist. Make yourself feel as good as possible.
Do this with around 3-4 experiences, breaking
state between each one.
63
GRAHAM OLD
Test the Anchor!
Once you have anchored at least three positive

emotional states, test the anchor. You do this by
firstly breaking state again. Then squeeze your
right fist, holding it for 30-60 seconds and notice
those same pleasant feelings come back. If you’ve
done it correctly, you’ll feel like you’ve taken a
load of happy pills!
Clear your mind / break the state again, then
you can proceed.
The Negative Anchor
Now, anchor the negative state, by squeezing

your left hand together whilst you relive that old
memory of blushing. Once again, make sure that
you are fully associated when you do this. Note:
anchor this memory as it is. Don’t make the
feelings any more (or less) intense.
With the negative anchor, we do this just once.
Release the anchor at – or slightly before - the
peak of the emotion.
64
Clear your mind / break state again. Maybe do

star-jumps for 10 seconds. Come on, you can
manage 10 seconds!
Now, test your anchor by squeezing your left
fist. If the anchor worked, you’ll feel the negative
state come back.
Adding a Resourceful Anchor
After clearing your mind, decide what internal

resource or ability, if you had possessed it at the
time, would have made a difference to the
negative event. For example, you might have felt
helpless. If you had been strong, you would have
felt more in control and most likely have thought
differently during the situation.
Once you have selected your preferred
response, choose an example of it, re-experience
it and anchor this feeling on top of the ones
already in your right fist.
Break state once again.
65
GRAHAM OLD
Anchors away!
To collapse your anchors, fire-off the positive

and negative anchors at the same time, by
squeezing the fists of both hands together.
The next 30-60 seconds are likely to seem a
little odd. When you do this, your brain starts to
integrate the two different states. This may feel a
little strange at first - almost like an internal
short-circuit in your brain – which may cause you
to feel a bit of mild confusion.
As you keep holding the anchors, however,
you’ll soon break clear of all negative feelings,
and start to feel the full power of the positive
emotions.
When you feel that the anchors have collapsed
– i.e. you feel great, or completely neutral – let
go of the negative anchor, whilst keeping hold of
the positive anchor for another 5-10 seconds.
Future Focus
Finish by thinking of a future scenario where
66
you might previously have blushed. The chances

are that you will now feel nothing, or absolutely
fine.
Trouble-shooting
The reason you test the anchors after you have

set them – and before the final collapse – is so
that you know ahead of time that the collapse will
be effective.
If, whilst you are setting and testing the
anchors, you do not get the desired response, this
is almost always for the same reason. You need to
make sure that you are fully associated into the
memories as you are experiencing them. Really
step into the image and see things as you first
saw them, hear precisely what you heard and feel
everything that you felt. Then squeeze your fist
together and release it just as the re-experience
is peaking.
Successfully testing your anchors –
remembering to have first cleared your mind –
will ensure that the final collapse effectively
67
GRAHAM OLD
neutralises the negative anchor.

We are aware that this chapter can seem quite
convoluted, if it is all new to you. However, once
you have the hang of it, it is very straightforward:
 Set Positive anchor / then break state

 Stack more positive anchors, breaking state
between each one
 Test positive anchor / then break state
 Set Negative anchor / then break state
 Test negative anchor / then break state
 Add a Resourceful anchor / then break state
 Collapse anchors
 Future focus
68
Try to Blush
Having worked with someone to collapse their

anchors, I then have them stand-up in front of a
mirror and try to blush.
Alternatively, I might have them face me and
ask them to try to blush. After they have tried for
a while, I will ask them if they think they are
blushing. Due to how I have worded this, they
almost always say, “I don't know.” I then instruct
them to look in the mirror. When they see that
they are not blushing, I invite them to try.
Invariably, they are unable to blush. I remind
them that blushing is a subconscious reaction and
that we have been working with their
subconscious to address that action.
I may also point out that it is interesting that
we cannot always tell if we are blushing or not. If
69
GRAHAM OLD
we are paying extra special attention to our

bodies, we may think that we detect the start of a
blush, but actually there is nothing there. Other
times, people may point out to us that we are
blushing and we had not even realised.
Our ability to tell if we are or are not blushing is
not to be trusted.
Some practitioners choose to leave the Try to
Blush exercise until after Collapsing Anchors. That
way, it acts as a useful confirmation that the
collapsing anchors technique worked. Other
hypnotists use it from very early on in their work
with people who blush, to verify that the work is
already proving effective. There is no correct
timing, though if you choose to use it before
collapsing anchors, I would recommend also using
the 'you don't know when you're really blushing'
approach.
70
The Hypnosis Script
Preamble
This script is not intended to be read as it is, word

for word. Instead, it is an example of the approach in
this book being used in action. It is preferable if you
take this transcript, learn from it and then write your
own.
Words in italics should receive a different emphases.
Words in bold are simply headings for the reader to
know where they are in the script.
Elipses […] indicate a pause, whereas square
brackets [] are directions for the hypnotist to take
note of.
Before reaching this point, I would usually – in a
previous session – have gone through collapsing
anchors. I would also have had the client practising
autogenic training between sessions. And I would have
71
GRAHAM OLD
given them the General Tips as homework.

I rarely use collapsing anchors and a script like that
which follows in the same session. There are a couple
of reasons for this. Firstly, some people do not need
anything more than collapsing anchors. Secondly, I
like to ensure that there is time between the sessions
for the client to practice autogenic training. I may also
set them some homework, like going into Pizza Hut
and ordering a Big Mac, to see if they can blush on
purpose. If they manage it, this gives them the
opportunity to put into practice the General Tips.
However, in many cases, they are unable to make
themselves blush when they are attempting to do so
on purpose. This verifies that things are improving.
The script takes the following general direction:
 Induction / Deepener / Special Place

 Confidence Anchor
 Autogenic Training (hot & cold)
 Not being self-conscious
 Picture scene where warm turns to cold
 Picture scene without being self-conscious
 Rewriting History
72
Induction (Previous Trance)
So, you can begin by getting yourself

comfortable. And you can shift around to get even
more comfortable any time you choose...
As we start, you can go ahead by taking a nice
deep breath… and then let it go. And again… and
let it go. And as you continue in that way, you can
imagine breathing-in peace and comfort… and
letting go of any stress and tension. Each breath
in and out allowing you to drift more easily into
that relaxation that you are beginning to enjoy.
I am sure you have had the experience of
drifting into what hypnotists might call “trance.”
For many people, it may be sitting at the beach,
watching the waves, as they come in and go out
again... You can even get that experience, you
know, just from watching fish in a tank, watching
them silently swim by, this one, then that one.
Or perhaps you have sat in front of a log-fire,
seeing the golden-orange flames flickering, as you
listen to the crackling of the wood and feel more
and more relaxed... And sometimes, with
73
GRAHAM OLD
experiences like that, you may lose all track of

time... You might spend 10 minutes there, but it
feels like an hour, or an hour and it feels just like
10 minutes.
Some people have a similar experience when
they are driving. If they are driving a route they
know well, you can have the unusual experience
of reaching your destination and having no idea
how you got there... It is as if your conscious
mind takes a back seat, as your unconscious
comes to the front.
And as we continue on, you may remember
times in your life when you've got lost in a
daydream. At times, your conscious mind goes off
and does its own thing, leaving you free to enjoy
this experience. And someone could be calling
your name, but you're just too far away to pay
any attention. At other times, you have the same
experience, but you could hear a pin drop. The
important thing is not how you have that
experience. The important thing is simply that you
enjoy the dream.
And as you become aware of just how good it
74
feels to close your eyes... and notice the tension

leaving your body, just allowing that tension to
flow away from you as every muscle relaxes… you
can allow your mind to settle on a previous trance
experience that you have had. It may be laying in
a hammock, getting lost in a good book, fishing
by a quiet river, meditating calmly, or a previous
experience of hypnosis... Every fibre relaxing... As
your mind relaxes too.
[Each sentence begins to be spoken on the

client's exhalations.]
Just letting go and drifting off… deep into that

comfortable heaviness of arms...of legs...of the
whole body as you discovered just how easy… so
pleasant… it can be to allow those feelings to
continue… to deepen even more as you listen to
the sound of my voice.
And as you recall that earlier experience,
remembering that ability you have to let go
completely and be totally unconcerned that there
is no need at all for you to be concerned about
75
GRAHAM OLD
how much effort it takes… to make an effort to try

to hear or to understand everything that I say
here or don't say there… so much easier to just
let go and allow all of those things to occur in
their own time and in their own way… and I know
that you can cooperate with the whole process so
well… that you can relax in that way… drifting
down in that place inside... where all is still...
quiet, peaceful... where there is only the sound
of my voice and the wisdom that is your
unconscious... as you become more… and more
relaxed with that awareness of your unconscious.
Nothing bothers you... nothing concerns you... as
you continue to relax... to go deeper than before…
each word that I say relaxing you… deeper...
deeper... deeper.
As you continue now you can be aware too of
the sound of my voice speaking to you here... as
you relax so completely there... each word that I
say a signal for you to relax... to let go... to drift
even deeper now... You may or may not continue
to be aware of the sounds that surround you...
the sounds in the room… the ticking of the clock...
76
all of those signs that remind you what a natural

process this is... and how natural it is for you to
return to that place.
And I wonder if you can allow that previous
experience to continue here now... or to deepen
even more as I continue to speak to you... my
words drifting... as you drift too into comfortable
relaxation of mind... relaxation of body...
heaviness of arms... of legs… of no concern to you
now... safe and secure... there for you when you
need them... but for now they can rest... relax...
relax in that comfortable place... deep inside...
nothing bothers you or disturbs you as you
continue now to use the power of your
unconscious for your own good.
Staircase Deepener
As you sit there, comfortable and relaxed – you

can imagine in front of you a staircase - a
beautiful staircase with a polished, ornate banister
running down alongside the staircase and a deep,
rich carpet underneath your bare feet. As you look
77
GRAHAM OLD
down the stairs you notice that there are ten

steps leading gently down - ten steps leading
down, and down, and down.
These are the steps that will lead you deep into
dream-time - deep into relaxation - and in a
moment I'd like you to walk down those steps
with me and as we count them down you can
notice that the deeper down you go, the more
comfortable and the more relaxed you become.
At the bottom of the staircase, there is a large
door – you may or may not notice what colour it
is - with a door-knob for opening.
So when you are ready to walk down the stairs,
gently place your hand on the banister and begin
to slowly descend the stairs as we count them off
from 10 to 1.
[Say each number as they breathe out.]
10 – relaxed and comfortable

9 - deeper relaxed, deeper comfort
8 - more and more and more relaxed
78
7 - deeply relaxed, deeply comfortable

6 – nearly half way there
4 - deeply relaxed, deeply comfortable
2 - almost at the bottom now, just one more
step to go, and...
1 - going deeper and deeper down into that
relaxing experience, to that deeper, healthier
level of mind.
And as you reach the bottom step, you can

allow the ordinary cares and worries of the
everyday world to stay back there, as you drift
deeper and deeper into that relaxation.
As you are standing at the bottom of the steps
comfortable, relaxed and at peace with the world,
you can see that large door in front of you. The
door is closed, but there's a large door knob easily
within reach. And you really want to go through
the door and see what is there on the other side,
for you somehow know that a wonderful place is
79
GRAHAM OLD
there waiting for you.

So move now toward the door. Twist the door-
knob. Push it open. Push the door open. The door
creaks gently open, and you push it even further
open and walk through.
Now close the door behind you and turn and
find yourself in a very special place. This is your
special place… a place of peace and calm, safety
and serenity.
Special Place
Take some time to acquaint yourself with your

surroundings. Take in the peace, the calm and
serenity. Breathe it in. Enjoy it.
You might notice any sights or sounds that you
did not expect to encounter, perhaps the sound of
birds singing, or children laughing, or colours
which seem particularly prominent. Simply allow
yourself to see what you see, hear what you hear
and feel whatever you feel.
After a while, I would like you to notice
80
anywhere that you can go to sit down, or lay

down and relax. This might be a park bench, a
towel on the sand, or just sitting against a tree,
under the shade of its branches.
Now, go ahead and sit down or lay down and
relax.
Confidence Anchor
Noticing now that the deeper you go, the better

you feel and the better you feel the deeper you
will go with every breath that you take, every
noise that you hear and every word that I say, as
you now allow your mind to wander free as you
continue to go deeper down into the world of your
dreams and the world of your imagination I want
you to imagine and remember a time in your life
when you felt confident. And see a movie of that
scenario where you are confident. Notice how you
stand, how you carry yourself. Perhaps you can
tell that you are feeling confident just by
watching. And we can feel confident for any
number of reasons. It can be because we know
81
GRAHAM OLD
what we're doing, or we feel good about

ourselves, or we just feel comfortable and
competent in the setting we are in. Whatever the
reason, notice what the confident you looks like.
And I'd like you to imagine a golden almost aura
surrounding that you, a confident glow.
And when you can see that, go and step into
that confident you. Feel what it feels like to be so
confident. Wear that aura and feel that confidence
flowing around you. Be filled from head to toe
with that confidence. And when you can feel that
confidence filling you now, you can go ahead and
push together the tip of your forefinger of the
right hand together with the tip of your thumb
and this will make your ring of confidence. And
when that confidence reaches its peak, you can
let it go.
Now, perhaps you can recall another time when
you felt confident. And see yourself there, all full
of confidence, surrounded again by that aura.
Notice what you look like when you are confident,
and how you sound. And go ahead and step into
that confident you and wear that aura as you are
82
filled with confidence from head to toe. Get a

good feel for what it feels like to be so full of
confidence. And when you can feel that here and
now, go ahead and make that ring of confidence
again, almost as if you are locking-in that
confidence as a resource for whenever you need
it. And when that confidence reaches its peak,
you can let it go.
You can know now that whenever you need to
call upon these feelings in your every day life,
whenever you are facing the kind of situations
that might have previously caused you to blush,
then now as an automatic reflex action all you
need do is push together the tip of your forefinger
of the right hand together with the tip of your
thumb and instantly this will make your ring of
confidence, bringing all those confident feelings
back to you as you are surrounded by that aura
and filled with that confidence. And your
subconscious can remind you as an automatic
reflex action to make this ring of confidence with
your finger and thumb as and when you need it in
your everyday life.
83
GRAHAM OLD
In fact, you can go ahead and picture a scene

in the future that may have caused you to blush
in the past. And the second – the very second –
you feel anything like those old feelings, you can
squeeze that finger and thumb together, be filled
with confidence and feel that confidence flowing
around you. Notice how different you are, how
more engaged and relaxed you are, when you
allow yourself to be this confident you.
Autogenic Training
And as you allow your attention to move to

your right hand now, you can say in your head,
“My hands are warm and heavy… my hands are
warm and heavy…” And use your imagination as
you do so, to experience what you are describing.
“My hands are warm and heavy…” feeling them
get warmer, heavier. “My hands are warm and
heavy...”
And as you concentrate on those sensations, I
wonder if you bring to mind resting in front of a
log-fire, feeling your hands warming up. And as
84
you focus on that experience, you will notice that

you really can feel your hands getting warmer.
And as your hands get warmer, you drift further
into that restful relaxation, and as you drift
further into that rest, your hands continue to
warm up. Perhaps you rub your hands together,
really feeling that warmth, before you point them
in front of the fire again. And as those hands get
warmer, it is almost as if they give off a red glow,
a fiery red pulsating glow of warmth.
The thing that is particularly interesting is that
just as you can warm-up your hands, you can
cool them down. I wonder if you are able to recall
playing in snow as a child. Perhaps you are
making a snowman, or your having a snowball
fight. And if you are anything like me, you may
have stayed out in the snow way past the point
when you were too cold to be there. Maybe your
gloves are too thin, or perhaps you've taken them
off to get a better grip on the snow, but you can
feel the freezing temperatures against your skin.
And as you recall that sensation now, you may
also be able to imagine two buckets full of ice.
85
GRAHAM OLD
And you can dive your hands into those buckets,

feeling that sudden and definite change in
temperature, as your hands get colder now. And
as they get really cold, and you can feel that, it
may almost seem as if they turn a pale blue.
And then you can take them out, dry them with
a towel and return to the warmth of your special
place.
Not being self-conscious
I can remember an event that brings me great

amusement now, but it may have troubled me in
the past. I was walking home from the gym one
day, when a toddler was walking past with his
mum. And he saw me and pointed and smiled. I
smiled back, because who can resist the smile of
a toddler? And then he surprised me by saying,
“big fat man!” I laughed and went on my way.
Now, some time ago, a statement like that may
have bothered me. If I was feeling self-conscious
or fragile, it might have got to me. However, the
toddler did not see the whole picture. The toddler
86
did not know, for example, that I was coming

back from the gym, feeling full of the endorphins
that a good work-out gives you. He also did not
know that I had lost 4 stone in the previous year
and was feeling great about how my weight was
going down. And he did not know that I had a
child the same age at home and I knew that they
often said things that just popped into their head,
with no malice or evil intent whatsoever.
The fact is, I was overweight. And that toddler
had presumably heard someone who looked like
me being called a “big fat man.” So, he saw me
and recalled that previous experience. But I was
not the slightest bit bothered by what he had to
say. I felt good about myself, felt positive about
my weight that happened to be going down and
either way I was a grown man who wasn't inclined
to get upset by something a toddler said!
People do not always see the whole picture.
There's a story from the Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People by Steven Covey. He speaks of
being on a subway train in New York one Sunday
morning.
87
GRAHAM OLD
People were sitting quietly – some reading

newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting
with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful
scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children
entered the subway car. The children were so loud
and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate
changed.
The man sat down next to Covey and closed his
eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The
children were yelling back and forth, throwing
things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very
disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to Covey
did nothing.
It was difficult not to feel irritated. People
couldn't believe that he could be so insensitive as
to let his children run wild like that and do nothing
about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was
easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt
as irritated as Covey. So finally, he turned to him
and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a
lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control
them a little more?”
The man looked-up, as if he was becoming
88
aware of the situation for the first time. And he

said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do
something about it. We just came from the
hospital where their mother died about an hour
ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they
don’t know how to handle it either.”
When you know the full picture about yourself -
how strong you have been to face and overcome
this issue that was a problem for so many years –
it is easier to be unaffected by the things that
other people say, do or think. And, of course,
there is always the saying that we would be less
affected by what other people think of us if we
realised how rarely they do.
We are all just busy getting on with our lives,
doing the best we can.
Picture scene where warm changed to cold
And I wonder if you can picture another scene

that would have previously caused you to blush.
And see what happens the minute you feel any
warmth in those cheeks. You can simply say in
89
GRAHAM OLD
your head, “My hands are warm and heavy.” And

allow that warmth to flow down to your hands.
And as that warmth leaves your face, it can leave
behind a nice pale blue fresh chill in its place.
Picture scene without being self-conscious
And in those situations where you used to

blush, either the one you've just thought of, or
another, you can pay attention to the person
talking to you, without wondering or worrying
what they are thinking about you. You are
confident and secure in yourself.
And you can watch the person who is talking to
you and it might amuse you to think that they
themselves could even be worrying what you are
thinking about them. We just can't tell.
And as you are watching them, listening,
engaging with the conversation, you can be one of
those rare people who gives someone else the gift
of 100% attention. And you can feel good about
that.
90
Re-writing History
All of these things that you have now learnt and

this entire journey you have been on means that
you can go back into your past, to every incidence
when you used to blush and re-write it. You can
fill each scene with self-confidence, knowing that
you only need to press your finger and thumb
together to be surrounded and filled with
confidence. Maybe moving onto the next scene,
you are not overly self-conscious, as you focus
instead on the person in front of you. On to
another scene, when you feel physical warmth in
your cheeks, you send it down to your hands and
your cheeks become cool.
And you can allow your subconscious mind to
move through your personal history – able to do
so much more quickly than your conscious mind –
re-writing your story. You are no longer a blusher.
You are someone who used to blush.
And if, in the future, you ever do find your
cheeks going slightly red, you can find that
amusing as it reminds you of that old issue that
you've overcome. Now, you simply experience
91
GRAHAM OLD
that occasional tinge that all people do from time

to time. Blushing is no longer a problem for you.
It no longer defines who you are.
92
Self-Instructional Training
Donald Meichenbaum developed a variation of

coping statements that he called 'self-instructional
training.'
Meichenbaum suggested that changes in our
behaviour could be achieved if we were
encouraged to change our 'self-talk.' We have
already addressed this in the chapter on Changing
your Mind. However, people who have overcome
blushing may find it helpful to practice self-
instructional training as a means of cementing
their new way of thinking.
You can practice Self-Instructional Training
before, during and after the kind of situations that
would have previously caused you to blush. I have
my clients begin to practice SIT before the final
hypnotherapy session. However, it may actually
93
GRAHAM OLD
be more useful afterwards, which is when I

encourage them to keep using it.
You might start by asking what you say to
yourself in a situation that causes (or caused) you
to blush. Common examples may be, “I will look
stupid,” “they will think I'm weak,” “I am going to
look like a child,” and so on.
In SIT, you are encouraged to develop more
positive self-talk that will actually serve you well.
However, this is different to the practice of
affirmations, e.g. “I am strong and confident.”
Such a practice can feel obviously false to
someone in the midst of a blush.
Instead, your SIT statement may become,
“Worrying won't help,” “One day at a time,” or, “It
could be worse.”
Then, following the situation, you may develop
a new set of statements, such as, “Things often
go better than expected,” or, “I did the best I
could.”
94
An Example
This may all seem a little theoretical, which would

be a shame as SIT is fundamentally practical. So,
an example may help demonstrate its usefulness.
Let's suppose that you are nervous about
attending a High School Reunion. You may be
aware that you could meet people that you used
to blush in front of. You might pre-prepare the
following set of Self-Instructional statements:
Before the Situation:
“I will plan out the details: what to wear, what

time to arrive, who to travel with.”
During the Situation:
“Concentrate on what they are saying and join

in the conversation they have chosen to have with
you.”
95
GRAHAM OLD
After the Situation:
“I can think about what went well and learn

from that, as well as from the occasional
mistake.”
Self-Instructional Statements
As you can see, SIT is very specific and often

takes some preparation. It is less vague than
many coping statements. Instead, it is as if it
anticipates the unhelpful things that our minds
may say to us, and prepares a more helpful
alternative.
The benefit of this type of approach is that it
cannot be dismissed as unrealistic. It is inherently
practical and grounded in reality. Additionally, it is
directly related to events we will actually
encounter, rather than the vague “What if” sort of
scenarios that anxiety feeds off of.
It can be useful to approach a situation that
you previously might have blushed in with
96
prepared SIT statements on index cards that you

carry with you. They will be realistic, applicable
and achievable. In many ways, they are also
grounding, as when you read them later they say
to your anxiously racing brain, “Woh! That's not
how things need to be. This is an alternative truth
that I can believe in.”
Let's look at another example. First of all, we
might compare this to the kind of statements you
might have been saying to yourself when blushing
was a problem.
“I'm going to blush. I always do.”
“It's starting. Here we go… Everyone is looking

at me because...I'm blushing! ”
97
GRAHAM OLD
“I'm so pathetic. Everyone thinks so. I will

never get over this problem.”
However, you have now changed your mind and

your focus. You have also collapsed anchors to
remove the emotional charge from old memories
of blushing. Importantly, you have learnt to cool
yourself when you feel yourself getting warm. And
you have learnt a confidence-boosting technique,
as well as learning not to be so self-conscious. So,
the statements you now prepare are completely
different.
Imagine that you are going into a staff
meeting, where you used to blush whenever your
Manager would go round the table and ask
everyone to say how their week was going.
“I can cope with this. It's rarely as bad as I

imagine it to be.”
98
“This is a good chance for me to practice what I

have been learning.”
“I'm pleased with myself. I did well.”
Self-Instructional Training will soon become

second nature, as you continue learning positive
self-talk. In the meantime, it can be helpful to
spend some time planning your statements,
writing them down and even carrying them
around with you.
It is an investment that – once it is automatic –
you will be grateful for.
99
GRAHAM OLD
Conclusion
This book is an example of the Brief Hypnosis

approach. We do not spend time considering any
supposed specific 'root causes' of behaviour.
Instead, we dive straight in with how and why the
behaviour takes place. We then help the client
learn how to behave differently.
The core of this book has been the idea that
blushing becomes a problem for someone when
they are overly focused on the blush itself. Such
people have taught themselves, often over a
prolonged length of time, how to blush at those
times when they most fear it.
We began with general practical tips that we
provide to every blushing client. With an
emphasis on learning not to focus on the
100
blushing, these tips have often proven enough to

resolve someone's issue with blushing right at the
beginning of treatment.
Then we moved on to challenging some of the
thinking patterns that blushers engage in. So, we
were switching between focusing on practical or
physical issues and the psychological issues
involved. We followed this by looking at some
quick interventions that can be used when a
blusher feels like they are the centre of attention.
Autogenic Training was next introduced and
suggested as a homework exercise between
sessions. This primes the client to learn to relax,
but also to learn how to warm-up different parts
of the body. This is a skill that will prove useful
once it is utilised in the hypnotherapy script.
This was followed by the Collapsing Anchors
exercise, which functions to remove the negative
emotional impact of some of the previous
episodes of blushing. Those memories are
neutralised by this technique, helping to address
some of the fear around blushing. The
effectiveness of this is seen when the client is
101
GRAHAM OLD
asked to try and blush on purpose and invariably

fails to do so.
The hypnotherapy script is then offered as an
example of the Brief Hypnosis approach in action.
Clients are invited to record it and listen back to
it, which of course they could do a number of
times.
Finally, Self-Instructional Training is taught as a
way to continue practising positive self-talk and to
cement the lessons that have been learnt.
It is our hope that you have discovered a
reliable way to treat clients for whom blushing is a
problem. However, the aim is not to replicate
every thing that we do, but to learn from the
approach and to be able to use it flexibly with
each individual client. The approach as a whole
has proven itself to be effective and it is offered
as something for you to learn from, adapt and
implement.
If you have any questions regarding the Brief
Hypnosis approach, please feel free to contact us
at briefhypnosis.com.
102
Appendix
The following jokes are useful ones to have with

you at all times. They are just corny enough to be
cringe-worthy, which in itself will often get a
laugh.
 "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but

then again, I hate all change."
 "I've given up asking rhetorical questions.

What's the point?"
 "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in

coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me
neither!"'
103
GRAHAM OLD
 "I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was

just collecting dust."
 "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime

holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
 "I just deleted all the German names off my

phone. It's Hans free."
 "My wife suggested I register for a donor

card. She's a woman after my own heart."
 Two rabbits are sitting on a bar stool. One

starts to insult the other one. He screams,
“I slept with your mother!” The bar goes
quiet as everyone listens to see what the
second rabbit will do. The first says again,
“Eh, I slept with your mother – and more
than once.” The second rabbit continues to
ignore him, so he yells, “I SLEPT WITH
YOUR MOTHER AND SHE LOVED IT!”
104
At that point, the other one says, “Go home

dad, you’re drunk!”
 A Horse walks into a bar and the barman

says, “Why the long face?” A Bear walks
into a bar and says, “I'll have a bag of crisps
and… … ...a pint of Bitter, please.” The
barman said, “Why the huge paws?”
 A guy is sitting at home when he hears a

knock at the door. He opens the door and
sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the
snail and throws it as far as he can. Three
years later there’s a knock on the door. He
opens it and sees the same snail. The snail
says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
 It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes

his way to his seat right next to the pitch.
He sits down, noticing that the seat next to
him is empty. He leans over and asks his
neighbour if someone will be sitting there.
105
GRAHAM OLD
‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’

‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in
their right mind would have a seat like this
for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour
says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but
she passed away. This is the first World Cup
Final we haven’t been to together since we
got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.
That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find
someone else, a friend, relative or even a
neighbour to take her seat?’ The man
shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all
at the funeral.’
 Two missionaries are camping in the woods

when a grizzly bear charges for them. One
of the missionaries turns and instinctively
runs in terror. The other falls to his knees
and says, “Dear God, please save us by
turning this Bear into a Christian.”
Suddenly the Bear stops and falls to his
106
knees. The missionary can't believe his

eyes. And then the Bear says, “For the food
I am about to receive, may the Lord make
me truly thankful. Amen.”
 Two hunters are out in the woods when one

of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be
breathing and his eyes are glazed. The
other guy whips out his phone and calls the
emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is
dead! What can I do?" The operator says,
"Calm down. I can help. First, let's make
sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a
gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the
guy says, "OK, now what?"
107
i
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-23/edition-
5/puzzle-blushing

Overcome Blushing PDF

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Overcome Blushing PDF

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Use Hypnosis

Copyright © GRAHAM OLD

Published 2017 by Plastic Spoon

The right of Graham Old to be identified as

All rights reserved. No part of this publication

We are grateful to the friends, family members and

All Rights Reserved

Please do not copy any portion of this work without

Please be aware that any experimentation with the

This is the first book in the 'Use Hypnosis' series of

Changing Your Mind 40

The Hypnosis Script 71

This book is divided into a number of sections,

We will then move on to the general approach

How to Use this Book

We are offering the techniques, ideas and

problematically) that needs to be learnt.

and how it is structured. Then proceed with your

We appear to blush when we feel embarrassed or

from danger, or stand and fight. It also causes our

Blushing is caused by overheating of the skin in

Physical and Psychological

It is helpful to emphasise that blushing is

sense operates below the level of conscious

Ray Crozier is a psychology professor at the

is likely that embarrassment displays emotional

true, with blushing being something that occurs

Blushing tends to become a problem for those

embarrassed or exposed in some way can be

They are anxious – in some cases, so much so

motion the series of events to make it happen.

Below are some general tips which I share with

The key to overcoming blushing is so obvious

this simple step and put it into practice find that it

1) So, you Blush. So what?

Blushing tends to get worse at first as people

Keep in mind that blushing is a natural

adrenaline won't be produced. Step 3 will help

When you become anxious, your rate of

anxious, train your body to relax. Relax your

4) Concentrate on the other person

To also help yourself to stop worrying about

focus of your attention to their cheeks – or you

Whilst working all of these points into your life

That will only cause you and others to focus on

Drink plenty of water. This is more important

pints a day, or more if you can.

7) Own it and Admit it – hey, I'm blushing…

One of the best tips I learned for myself - and

their blushing, whilst panicking about how bad it’s

The minute you feel a blush coming on,

involves you thinking negative thoughts about

9) Take a (temporary) break

If you are feeling anxious, there is nothing to

10) Look at others in a Positive light

It also helps to think that people are on your

11) Avoid too much Caffeine

Caffeine is a terrible cause of facial flushing and

12) Stop Looking for a Blush!

Something that the majority of Blushers do -

raise in the temperature there. You wait until you

The main elements of our approach will have

become clear in the tips above: