THEORY OF THYSELF; AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY

On 15th of august 2000 I was born. I am Janlyn Espinosa, and my name came from my mom and dad’s

name which is Liza and John. My parents can’t explain the happiness they felt when I was born since I

am the first child. My dad is a soldier who’s currently assigned at Camp. Evangelista and my mom is a

house wife at the same time a business woman. I was born at Lanao del Norte and I grew up there. Year

2014, we moved here in Cagayan de Oro City because of some reasons. My mom told when I was a new

born baby I was so thin back then but luckily when I grew up I became fluffy. When I was young I was

very close to my dad we used to play toy guns even though my mom always bought me a Barbie doll but

I always prefer the guns , we always do the piggy back ride whenever he’s going to fetch me from school.

I grew up in a happy environment, I am surrounded with very optimistic people and that explains why I

am also happy and go lucky person. My family is my source of happiness they family me, I got my happy

go lucky personality from them. I’m surrounded with very positive people that is why I’m also very

positive even things gets harder I always In the bright side. My dad is very responsible and very hard

working when it comes to us; He really got that father figure. I am the eldest of my two siblings my dad is

the only boy in the family; I’m the eldest that’s why when I was kid I became so responsible, I mature

early because my dad always tell me that I should be the role model of my sisters, I should be the one

that will took care of them when they are not around. As a girl, my mom told me that I should act

feminine because that’s what my society is expecting me to be. She also always told me that my toys

should be Barbie doll not guns like what my dad and I used to play, that’s why every time I saw a gun

back then I thought it was only for boys. Being a girl is not easy for me because I should fill the

expectations of my family as a girl that I should to this, I should not do this. My society is the one that

who really formed me for who I am today that’s why I’m so girly because what I’ve said we’re all girls in
the family. As time passed by, I was already eleven(11) years old and I was grade six that time and it

was my graduation day, I received a very special gift form my Grandmother it was a watch, for me it’s

very special because it’s the first time I received a gift from her. We had a big celebration not only

because that I graduated because also I’m a salutatorian and I received a scholarship from a prestigious

school in Lanao. It was a big day for me a very unforgettable day all my cousins are there, my best

friends, my tito and tita from Davao it’s like a reunion. I really can’t forget that day because all of my

favorite foods are there and I was wearing our school uniform for the whole day while celebrating. I’m so

thankful, I felt so much gratitude that day because I can really feel that I’m so important for them

because they made an effort to make my day very special. I’m really thankful for my mom and dad for

the financial expenses and also to my grandmother who’s very special to me because she taught me to

be thank god in every success that you got. She also taught me to be spiritual in every situation prayer is

the answer and she also taught me to respect another culture and belief. She’s very considerate person

and somehow I got that personality from her, until now I’m still doing what she told me. My grandma

has the big part of my life. Growing up, I observed that something is changing in my body my hips

became curvy, I became taller and my skin became soft that’s when I realized that I’m already in a

puberty stage. When I was 12 years old I had my first menstruation I’m so afraid back then because I

thought I’m going to die because there’s a blood on my vagina, I called my mom because I’m so scared

and then she explained to me that I already had my menstrual cycle. For the past few days I observed

that there’s unusual hair in my under arm and private part and I realized that my breast are not equal

there are uneven but we had our lecture with ma’am Nadine its normal and it’s called asynchronicity.

When I was 13 years old me and my friends had a crush name Kim and he is very handsome he has that

very attractive look because his face is very symmetric, tall, dark and intelligent . It’s the factors where

the girls usually attract. Kim has been our campus crush all of the girls in the campus were drooling at

him especially when he’s performing with all the praises and banners. Basically speaking Kim became
part of my childhood life. As I grow up being a teenager is not easy unlike when I was young. There are

different challenges that we have to face, decisions to make and choose the roads to take. The people

and environment around us greatly affects the way we think and act as teenagers. Being a teenager is

difficult but at the same time it is fun. We daily face new experiences. At this point in my life, I feel like I

am not a child anymore but I am not really a grown up yet. As a teenager I have a lot of problems, both

small and big, that I deal with every day. To start with my body is changing as I am growing and getting

older. Sometimes it can be irritating since it is something new for me. There have been instances where I

feel inferior because of these changes in my body. I can’t help but compare myself to the way other

teenagers look. I believe that it is during this stage of one’s life when a person is most insecure of his/her

physical appearance. Sometimes I do not feel satisfied with my body weight or the way my face looks. At

this period of life I am more conscious than ever with my appearance. Teenagers are make a big deal out

of how they dress up. It is very important to me to look good every time I go out. I pick out clothes more

carefully and make sure that my clothes suit me well. When I was a kid, my parents almost always gave

me the things I asked from them. Being a teen ager it’s very important for us what we wear, what are the

materials that we possess. Because in my perspective the materials or things that I have right now define

who I am. It shows my personality of who I am as a person. My mom told me that being a materialistic

person is not good because I’m surrounded with very simple person that’s why she always tell me to be

contented with what we have like what I have read in the readings materialism is one of the things that

we don’t wanna think about because it causes trouble oe stresses such indvual. A materialistic person is

a high class one-percenter such whinning about getting fancy clothes , lamborghini and other luxurious

things.We, humans have a bit of materialistic side. Materialism is one of those ugly words that gets

thrown a lot. It is best defned as an materialistic desire to own thing and belief if those desire are

fullfilled we’ll achieve happiness. We think that possesing a thing can make us happy. It make sense to

Darwin’s theory of evelolution that says “ since natural resources are limited, human beings have
compete over them, and try to claim as large part of them as possible” but when I ma’am nadine

dicussed to us that beyond materialistic is not that bad because being materialistic person may have

negative connotation but it is always a part being a human. You cant force yourself to unlike that certain

thing, if you think you are materialistic person it is not bad as long as always have a limit and don’t go

beyond, just always remember to know how to control things and the most importanat you’re not

harming other people. Back to being a teen ager, however, as a teenager, they expect me to be wiser

when it comes to money. I cannot simply ask them to get me whatever I want because I now realize that

earning money is not easy. Teenagers like me spend most of their time studying or going out with

friends. For a teenager, the company of friends sometimes becomes more valuable than family. Peer

pressure is at its peak now that I am a teenager. A lot of my friends are into sports, partying or being in a

relationship. Vices such as drinking, smoking, and even doing drugs are prevalent for teenagers. That is

why I believe it is important to be surrounded by the kind of people you want to follow as an example I

believe in saying that “tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are” but there are still

teenagers who choose a right lifestyle. Sometimes this vices is our kind of distressing except drugs

because teenagers life is stressed when It comes to academic, loaded schedules here, deadlines of

projects, finals and all. These vices become our stressors. There are two types of stress the “distress”

and “eustress” the stress that I’m feeling right now is the “distress” this is a bad stress but not all the

time stress is bad there’s also a good stress which is the “eustress” stress just is simply the body's

response to changes that create taxing demands . It is really hard to be a teenager. No more carefree

playing around. People expect me to be more mature in everything I do but at the same time I cannot be

fully independent because adults, especially parents and teachers, think otherwise. It is a conflicting

situation. I think that I am capable of deciding and doing things for myself but adults think that there

are a lot more things I need to learn from them. It is also in this stage where people start to question

things that have been taught to them when they were kids. I am an explorer in many aspects. I am open
to a whole lot of new ideas and are full of imagination. As time goes by, my phone became my best

friend all of my secrets my phone knows it all. As a millennial I admit that I’m also a social media addict I

can’t let the day pass without checking my social media if there’s a important notification or if there’s

message from my love ones. Having a social media account is like a self-representation through social

media it’s like you’re displaying yourself to others but not all people is displaying their true identity

through social media some are using anonymity which is not showing off your true identity, you’re using

somebody else’s face to represent as your , there’s so many victims about this situation and most are

teenagers. Some of us what we share in social media is not us in real life and vice versa. Several studies

investigated that there’s a relationship between online communication and self-esteem, study shows

that online communication increases self-esteem. They found out the more often we will social network

sites, the more often we received reactions; and the more reactions t we received, the more positive

these reactions became and these positive reactions led to a higher self-esteem. Majority of reactions to

the online profiles were positive. Social media has a lot of disadvantages at the same time advantages

just know your limits, don’t go beyond the line. Many people says that I’ve changed a lot but the truth is

I just found myself through my experiences in the past and to more experiences in the future because

the self continues to change through the years.

SUBMITTED BY: JANLYN ESPINOSA

BS PSYCHOLOGY YA-1

OCTOBER 9,2018