Open Your Eyes

Sean Osatchoff
2018

1
 Part I

This is how it went. One night while God was asleep, three men
entered His home with intention to destroy His life by abducting Him.
He was busy doing research on government spies in Vancouver, an
oxymoron in its existence. In this instance He defeated these
evil-doers, by using opposite doors, and running down a street in this
city with the instinct to do this with his know-how, and ability to
run so swell. In this sprint, he talked to Hitler. This demon tried
to help him while he was in hell; however, Clarence who was fronting
as God’s mother (Anna), realized this was not true. God (Sean)
realized Hitler was fronting, to distract Him from getting home in
coordination with the three hit men. This is when He detonated all of
the nuclear bombs beneath Iraq with His mind. At the same time St.
Theresa, who was working in reverse to confuse him by taking the
elevator; however, this reverse psychology did not work. He took the
elevator on the third walk home, after buying three beer at three A.M.
(how is this possible)? Anyway, he took the elevator after seeing one
of the hit men. God was told that these three hit men were inside at
this time, armed with silencers (p9s). He already realized this as an
abundance of cameras were illegally placed in his home which made this
attack known to the entire world. He then drank His beer with no
purpose. This was before the Apocalypse which would have prevented
Heaven from being, if the nuclear bombs across Earth were not
detonated that night.

In a daze, like haze, when the first dynamite crusade was inside of a
building, like a Castle in Bellingham, to blow up the land, in a time
before then, with cats and snakes and rattles to shake, and annoy the
people, to distract, so there would be no sequel, only a page though,
when Corella Deville was without her pup, before God evened the score,
and now what do you do? And God is very happy with how Heaven will
commence. (And his Mother).

Understand this spot on my arm, which is more than a reflection, it is

the message of life, forever, more than a spot, more so a sign, that
physics is now mine, from Mother to Son, I now dominate the fun;
forever to live, whenever for us, to give back, to Heaven which was
lost for a second, never again never within another mind, I’m doing
fine, how does that work? Transpondence is no longer at work, forgot
to trail, still able to write a tale, the tail of life, reward that
word twice, mistake no more, more than a thought, a sequence forgot,
something is up, keep it forgiven, but not for those sinning, miss Her

2
so, wish Her soul, still within, something, I miss, hiss hiss, is the
diss, to those, who wish, to front on my list, of those lost, on my
train, no worry, life refrains, from being a Man, no longer in sand,
so May is still going, although the clock was frozen, at a mental
hospital.

Jason spent over one hundred days at various mental hospitals.

This story of redemption was created inside one of these mental
hospitals.

It was near impossible to operate the computer after waiting for

it, while the internet proved even more difficult to configure
once that wait was over. A rumor exists that LSD was in the
food. This was true not only for the staff, but for the
patients as well. Methadone also pours from the kitchen sink,
as many live to tell. Ayahuasca (also known as the Fountain of
Youth), which stems from Peruvian Root is also present in a
water dispensary machine. This was the only drug of choice that
proved beneficial to Jason while at the mental hospital. Life
can flash before your eyes, if one is unaware of the consequence
of taking recreational drugs. Luckily enough these drugs were
given out by the mental hospital staff, and those taking them
were already in a mental hospital.

Karma lays in the hands of the nurses administering the illicit

drugs. This means some patients refuse to take their meds, or
are unaware of what medicine they are particularly taking.
Jason had to take a drug a couple of nights without knowledge of
what it was. If sleep takes you while on these drugs, it’s
difficult to know where you may end up? This is a dangerous
environment for patients once admitted, and some never leave its
doors.

Jason released from a thirty-nine, night stay at a mental

hospital. A common thing patients go through after
transitioning back to usual life is relapse. Jason did this
because he was bored of life, and found alcohol or drugs to
provide some meek entertainment. He felt a weakness in his body
one night while taking drugs, and had the intuition to get out
of the shower and lay down.

3
Jason was in the midst of a literary session, which was coming
to an end. He was going to wrap up the phrasings of a few
sentences, but before this he went to take a shower. He was
doing fine, when he heard a voice that was echoing (meaning it
sounded distant). His knees started to get weak, and the voice
told him he was having an overdose. He was then told to sit
down.

Soon after this he heard two voices, saying it was necessary to

head to the mental hospital for no given reason. He was able to
breath fine, and didn’t think there was anything wrong with him.
Thoughts of an overdose were unlikely, as he could still breath;
however, these annoying voices in his head were telling him
otherwise.

If Jason didn’t admit himself into the hospital, they threatened

to call the police. He thought if this were the case it would
result in his death, as he heard a rumour that they kill certain
people who are admitted. The lyric above provided Jason with
enough solidarity that there was something more at play.

I’ve been hard on myself in my life, like real hard. This has
been behaviourally placed into my identity since birth, due to
my strong Catholic upbringing. The concept of God, and having
to repent for us who sin always weighed heavy in my thoughts.

This escalated in the growth of my fear to interact socially as

a young child, while becoming very shy and motherly needy. An
ongoing theme of being judged solidified, creating a concrete
uncertainty that was difficult to escape, and eventually heal
from. My irrational fears can be pinpointed to a specific
incident that may have stopped further actions from happening,
something in particular that could have been avoided.

A distinct memory stands out, involving my cousin and I. It’s

here where the breaking of an abandoned window, by the throwing
of rocks took place. We were caught, and chased down. We
couldn’t of been much older than five years old. This is a
memory from my childhood that I attach fear to, and the concept
of being punished for doing wrong was established. We got away,

4
but the memory sunk deep into my conscience. This resulted in
paranoia for years to follow. What I perceive to be in the eyes
of others could be true, and it could also be false. Nobody
knows what we think of each other, and who really cares? Most
of us do, a cognitive distortion that is difficult to work out.
Looking back, the guy who chased us down wasn’t going to find
us; however, this would have been impossible for my delicate
mind to absorb at the time. This was my first instance of crime
and punishment, and it happened at a very young age.

I’m not the only one living in discontent. What's of greater

importance: why would anybody want to be around such a
self-loathing man? This is where an attitude shift in my
cognition needs to take place. That is if I want to fully live,
and be alive. Easily said, but emotions can change so that we
are on top of the world for one moment, and then walking around
in smoke believing the world is ending in the next. I’ve become
attune to wonderful things; however, I always find myself stuck
or trapped in day to day activities. This seems to create a
downward spiral, making it a bit tougher to become comfortable
with myself, and the world I’m in.

It’s now up to me to take the necessary steps to create a better

quality of life. When I think of our place in history, it feels
like we’re always living in the future. It makes sense to
believe this is a continuum in our evolution, something I
believe past generations must have also felt. We presently
believe to be in an era of greater importance, due to
technological advancements. I’m sure in another ten, twenty, or
definitely thirty years we’ll be looking back wondering what we
were doing with ourselves now.

This is troubling, as social skills are being dismantled through

the internet, specifically social media. From my experience,
social media outlets are usually negative. We like to attract
ourselves to these trends. The sad thing a lot of us don’t
understand, is that all trends end. This is the definition of a
trend. In contrast to this, movements (particularly, social
movements) don’t end. To define this action/word is unnecessary
if you really think about it. Movements move, and movement
doesn’t stop. When abruptly forced to change, a state of

5
uneasiness can come about. An example of this is when VHS was
replaced by DVD in my youth. My Mother found it difficult to
face this transition, as with the rise of computers in the
workforce, etc,. My Mother eventually got the DVD thing down,
but now to make sense of watching television off of the
internet/computer? Come on, give us a break!

This makes me question the point of it all, in the first place?

If we think these things are helping us, it’s most likely that
they’re not. My perspective is they will eventually be
replaced, in actuality we are taking a step back in evolution.
This parallels my thoughts as a kid, and my first relationship.
I vividly can remember.

“If we won't be together forever, what’s the point in the first

place?”

My fear of rejection developed through subsequent relationships,

which all ended horribly. This enabled my jealous nature to
worsen, and my fear of rejection only to gain momentum. I’m
now hesitant to even approach a female, as the world revolves
around things I don’t want to participate in. No disrespect to
those who use social media as a means of communication. I’m
still a part of it, through a running app. It’s all relative,
to each their own.

I’ll either have the advantage once a shift in technology

occurs, or a new way of self-destruction will come about. I’m
hopeful for the former; however, this seems unlikely. If there
were a statistic for the amount of people who acted violently
because of social media, I’m sure we would talk about it through
social media. I’m also sure everybody would be brave, and
really take a stand against whatever nonsense is trending. I
hope my sarcasm is apparent. It’s nearly four in the morning,
and I'm restless.

I’m treading through dawn, sitting in the dark. The only noise that I
can hear is the keys that are being struck on my keyboard.
I can faintly hear drops of water dripping from the faucet in my

6
bathtub, an occurrence I must fix.

I’m a morning person, and find myself to be in my best mood at

this point of the day. The universal mind is still, and I’m
able to concentrate without fear of being annoyed. Time rules
everything around us, an advent of our development as human
beings. I like to lose track of time.

If I need to be somewhere, I look at my alarm (which now faces the

wall). The remainder of my clocks are changed to a random number,
which allows me to concentrate better. Before this I was constantly
checking the clock, battling it to death to get to the next
minute.

This is so foolish, as time doesn’t even exist! What is this

brainwashing that we have placed on ourselves throughout
history? If only we could still think of time as to where the
sun is positioned in the sky.

I met someone a few years ago, who often frequents my thoughts.

Vanessa came into my life in an unconventional way. To
reiterate my complacency with the internet, it was not through
online dating. The idea of being friends first, and building
towards an intimate relationship is becoming more difficult
nowadays. It can devalue the process, as a lot of people using
these services have a specific goal in mind.

Even if we want or don’t want it to be, thinking of taking the

big step usually enters our minds when getting to know someone
of the opposite sex. This seems to rush something that is not
meant to be rushed. It can also get people to act in ways
unlike themselves, with monetary status playing a huge role in
romance these days. This may make sense to you, it may not. I
was once told that money is something people shouldn’t discuss,
especially with strangers.

With this perspective, someone making a million dollars a year

could be more disadvantaged financially than someone making
minimum wage. A cynic by nurture, my realism likes to play with
what is happening. What struck my interest as I got to know
Vanessa, is how she is not the type of person to be trapped by

7
all of this nonsense. This is what I like to call the void,
because it doesn’t make sense; however, it isn’t empty.
Because of this, I’m always weary of those I come across, and
place trust in few. I came to realize this more and more as
Vanessa and I started to get to know each other. An unsaid
trust developed, and the belief that we were on the right path
took shape.

Vanessa’s beauty blossomed as she grew into a young woman, and

the world acted accordingly. Everybody has problems, something
Vanessa realized from a young age. Being the victim of trickery
at certain points in her life, it was Vanessa’s destiny to
become such a strong willed person. Due to this awareness, she
was quick to learn how to deal with people who liked to cause
chaos. She understood how she was treated unfairly, from a
young age. This enabled her to balance the nonsense, hatred,
and annoyance, with the sense, love, and kindness which was also
present in her upbringing. By balancing both, a courageous
woman emerged.

Nervousness persisted in Jason as a young child. He was shy,

and found it difficult to socialize with fellow schoolmates.
Irrational fears are pinpointed to a specific event. This is
responsible for his development as a loner, and molded his
inability to gain confidence in adult life.

A distinct memory from his childhood is remembered, where right

and wrong was established. The sequence of events took over his
thoughts, creating a stubborn attitude which complicated
relationships. Paranoia is not real, unless you want it to be.
It can entrap the mind.

I declared that my friend, Franklin was fine wherever he was

resting, and jolted off to get out of the church and back onto
the street. Before I left the service, I was up in the air as
to whether I would hand Franklin’s family a poem. I wrote it for
his mother, and father days prior. They were quick to extend a
warm smile to me, so I handed it to them.

How so see sa so sa let go let's go one soul one love one life tonight
let’s not fight regardless of it it's a thought not ever taught so

8
dumb. "Is it the first to see?" You beat him down to the ground into
that place we hate "Forever we break out?" Instead of what was said
"Ignore those vibes?" Of what's inside "What is conjunction?" I
taught you this lesson, don't cry if I die "But you are strong, good
as God" Is you, as well as me, for us to be in life "As one to love?"
For all so true is you How are you? I love you "And you too Mom"
And how are you? "I'm okay, today I feel grey" Like the sky, it's
raining today "And what is wrong?" No my son, you are brave, you are
true, and I love you, and I love you, and I love you "And I love you
too Mom"

Jason recalled listening to his grade seven teacher, and how the
purpose of life was to die. This idea seemed like a shortcut to
Jason, and he laughed at the idea while sitting in class waiting
for the bell to ring.

I found it difficult to refrain from crying, as a child. If one

person started to cry it usually started off a chain of crying that
ultimately came full circle.

My Grandma shared a dream with me a few years ago. She had to

witness her first son die as an infant, before my father was
born. He had meningitis, and was unable to survive. This
resulted in my Grandma, losing her first son. Three more sons
were born, and another one passed. This was from Pancreatic
Cancer, when he was around fifty years old.

In this dream, there were three men who were in their young
thirties. All of the men were recognizable, although
maintaining different ages in relation to their age of passing
away. It was her interpretation that the men were all waiting
for her. It was in this vision, that they regained their youth after
death. This proved to her, and Jason that there was an after life.

The flight home was rough on me. It was only a few hours, but
something about flying was tough on Jason. It was tough for him
to sit still for the duration of the flight, I questioned myself
as to whether I would have a drink upon arriving home? This
created discontent, and I was more than not likely to find

9
myself in a stuck situation. Something happened, as he heard
some voices saying he would soon be dead as well if he continued
to act in such rash fashions. I decided to stay sober.

He offered a place to drink, as he noted how he could tell I was

in distress. I was buzzed off of alcohol, and decided to take
him up on this.

If I could rewind time back to this moment I would be more careful

with what was to proceed. I ended up snorting a line of something
without being aware of it at the time. I went home and listened to
music in the dark.

Around this time, I realized I was on a drug I had yet to try,

and went back to Mike’s place to ask him what he put me on.

I was informed by Mike that I was under the influence of

Amphetamine. I realized I had yet to try it. I was disturbingly
disturbed. This created shame. A hole was dug. It seemed as though
I would not be able to defeat this cycle.

This was more apparent, as it happened after a recent

relapse from alcohol. A tough one to beat, but nothing is
impossible.

To say the least, I didn’t have to hide my drug use anymore. I

now had to deal with the stigma of another person living under
the shadowy lens of a drug addict. Society had a reputation to
protect, people had reputations to protect, and the obligation
to show fake help towards the person suffering was apparent.

While many people were bringing him down, there were also many trying
to bring him up. He soon caught himself from falling into this fairy
tale, and came to the conclusion that he was in this life alone. It
was up to him to solve his own problems.

Life became difficult, and appeared dull. A lack of motivation

was prevalent, people started to annoy Jason. He remembered his
past counsellor saying to retract to activities he participated

10
in during his youth. He was then haunted by the memory of his
father hitting him, and leaving him, as well. This didn’t seem to
bode well with her theories of positive affirmation.

Mike and I met at work. I was working at this place for a while.
It was difficult to meet another high-strung employee. I disliked
this person, and wished for him to be fired upon our initial meeting.
He quickly mentioned how he liked to party (like most working in the
food industry). I was up in the air as to whether I wanted to see
this guy after work. We decided to have a drink.

I’m stubborn, so much so that even when I know I’m about to do

something wrong, I often end up doing it. I remember thinking
about my Grandma, while I was waiting for him. Her advice was
that if it didn’t feel right, it would probably be best to step
back from the situation.

“Yo, you ready to roll out Jason?”

“Yeah man, just waiting.”

I failed to reclose the paranoid feelings I was experiencing

while waiting for him, and the Cocaine that he said he was
heading inside to get. I felt like it would be okay to hang out
with some company, in desire to do a drug that I hadn’t done in
numerous years.

I didn’t hint about the paranoid energies I got while waiting

for him, specifically because he said he was holding some drugs
(for us to do).

At the time my conscience was clean, and my mental was clear. I

felt like it would be okay to hang out with a new friend, while
doing a drug that hadn’t been done for a long time. We drove
from one place to the next, and that was the first night I hung
out with Mike.

I ended up getting drunk, and we got more drugs. This brought

uninvited people into my social sphere, and it took years to

11
come to the realization that the more dealers, the more
problems.

He was easy to get along with, after an onslaught of sweet talking.

“You can’t do that!”

Vanessa and Mike conversed towards on a particular morning.

“What do you mean? Do what? That woman has been lying under car for
long enough, I need to get home. I need to get home so I can get
some sleep.”

“It’s okay Ness, he won’t do it.”

“You two are nuts. Shelby, you, you, get from underneath Mike’s car.
Mike you, you, please Mike, you, you turn off the keys to your car
right now.”

Shelby eventually dragged herself from beneath Mike’s car, as she

lost her desired decision to want to die. This must have been her
main motive in refusing to maneuver away from a parked car that was
also running. Mike also lost his desire to reverse his vehicle with
his girlfriend beneath his wheels.

Mike remained himself, a bully who dated a girlfriend he treated like

poorly. It would be tough to deny the fact that Mike would end up
either dead or in jail. He managed to escape the latter by becoming
an informant for the government. This was possible because Mike had
no other way out. Jason became a victim of brainwashing, corruption,
slander, and betrayal.

Franklin’s Funeral sparked a new devotion by Vanessa. This was to

begin her intervention as to what was going on in Vancouver. Over
double the amount of deaths by overdose took place in 2017, as
opposed to 2016. Fentanyl is the drug responsible for causing some
of these deaths. Fentanyl is bright blue and very hard to miss.
That for some of these people, they wanted to disguise a suicide as
an overdose. This is not to disrespect those people, and their

12
respective families who did die from an overdose of Fentanyl.

Fentanyl is obvious (as opposed to the contrasting white color of

most intra-nasally ingested drugs), because it is strikingly blue in
color. This made Vanessa wonder why the police were not intervening
in promoting more suicide awareness campaigns throughout the city. A
city so beautiful with Palm Trees, with weather that is favourable to
any runner on the planet.

A brand new low was reached by Jason, since his relapse from drugs,
and alcohol (which is a drug, unpopular to popular belief). I was in
a low place, and I wanted to liberate my life by ending it. I
decided to do it, not to get high. I decided to do it, because I
didn’t want to live anymore. I decided to play Russian roulette, by
railing a hot shot that I was aware of. I was sick of what society
had thought of me, because of a curse endorsed by the running
community. The weight of the world was starting to wear me out.

Luckily, my nose was clogged, so it didn’t do anything. I believe

this was a drug created by the government to lower the number of
addicts living in Vancouver. A quick shot/chance to lower the
poverty level on the East Side of Downtown. I don’t condone doing the
drug, or any drug at that.

Being alcohol, and drug free made it easy to see what it is like on
both ends of the spectrum. The weight of the world was no longer
bearing down on my soul. In opposition to this, a cursed life (and
one cursed out), is not fun at all.

I’ve come to realize that three options exist regarding this epidemic
(1) overdose (2) live in a constant state of suffering, or (3) you can
get clean. This means you can never do a narcotic again. I also
think that the media and other forms of information that are being
spread want us to believe something different, in regards to what is
actually happening. It’s horrible. I was under its spell for long
enough, and it took long enough to fully recover back to where I was
last year at this time.

Unfortunately, I lost the respect of pretty much everybody I knew

13
along the way. This doesn’t include my family, and a few close
friends who didn’t give up on me. Some are left with nothing
but the drug.

“So, you’re telling me that these dealers are really spies?”

“Yeah man, it’s way too obvious. I mean, when they say they will meet
you in eight minutes, and the female workers look like models. It
makes me wonder. I’ll give you an example."

“Okay, got that, now what is this example you have to share with me?”

"This is of importance, as it saved me on another occasion, where I

was completely out of my wits. One time I was waiting to get
something off of that particular person we both know, I hopped in the
back as she was with another man I had yet to meet. Jokingly I asked
if I was being kidnapped? She laughed and simply said, no.”

“What does that prove man?"

“You know the television show, The Wire? And the character Michael?”

“Yeah, I think I know who that dude is.”

“To bring light to what I’m saying, he goes on in one episode about
how people are being too fucking nice to him. When people are overly
kind at odd times, it makes me suspicious? Doesn't it makes you
wonder what is really going on?”

Mike didn’t have much to say, but was interested to hear more
regarding what I was getting at.

“Anyway, these people I never knew until then, they also don’t like
the show, The Wire. I said it once in a joking manner, and the guy
got shook. This aided my suspicion that something else was at play.”

Mike nodded, and I continued my tale.

"It was dealing with the same guy I just mentioned. It’s weird,I
always end up asking this guy if he’s a cop. He doesn’t like it."

“They don’t have to tell you, Jason."

14
“Yeah, I know, I didn’t at the time though. Plus, they haven't once
said that they’re not. Also, I asked a female who I met for the
first time whether she was a cop, she also said that police don’t
have to tell you. That it’s an urban myth or something. I then
brought up the idea of government spies, which left her without much
else to say. She got really nervous all of a sudden, like she was
being called on her predicament, you know?”

“Damn man, I don’t know what you’re even saying?”

“Yeah, that’s good. Because, I thought you were caught up in this at

one point as well.”

“No one will ever know what I’ve done, Jason.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to.”

I walked up to the wrong vehicle, to come face to face with a

Stranger. I retreated, and soon heard Jason called.

“Jason.”

“Ohh, hey, there you are, sorry...”

“It’s cool, just come to the car.”

I knew something was already up while I was walking up to the place

we were to meet. It was another one of those not giving a fuck what
happens experiences I found myself in. I was ready to either die or
to go to jail. I would most likely die if I went to jail, as that's
always in the back of my head. That’s how they get you in the end,
you lose hope, and give in. Fortunately, I never surrendered. No
surrender.

“Hey, where’s the lady?”

“She’s in the store.”

“What’s she buying?”

“Nose drops.”

“I thought you said you two were clean, why would you need to buy

15
that?”

“She’s sick”

“Oh”

“Sorry about that other time, and asking you if you were a cop. It’s
just, damn. The world is turning on me these days, you know?”

“It’s cool, I can get it."

By this point, I knew something was up. An episode from The Wire
entered my thoughts, after hearing Nose Drops. I deciphered this as
being code for he knows, so drop it. This came after an episode of
The Wire, where they were setting up a sting operation, involving
prostitution. If the prostitute’s tops were to come off, the police
were to say spot on. If they failed to do this, their case would
have no merit, and they would be banging prostitutes.

Spot on spells no tops if you look at it from the right to the left,
and it served as their code for time to go to work. This means they
were successful in bringing down this specific case. I was able to
come to this realization as each season of The Wire has been watched
way too many times by throughout the years. I guess I saved myself
from a joy ride. A joy ride with a bunch of strangers, to a place I
didn’t want to go. Quite possibly a place I may have never returned
from.

“So, what do you want?”

Again, I knew something was up. We were sitting in a busy parking

lot, with a pile of drugs out. When Jason walked upon the vehicle
which he was called to, it was a K-CAR from the eighties. The dude
was familiar to Jason, and yet again was not timid to bring up what
was of importance. Being the drugs (or case), at stake. To be this
fearless, aided in either assumption.

“Like we said on the phone.”

Realizing shit did not matter, he continued to answer for me.

“A half?”

16
“Yes, thanks.”

I now had the drugs on me, and seemed to have escaped something
terrible because of my inebriation. This is when I brought up the
idea of being held hostage again.

“One time I was meeting that chick, you know, right? Anyway, I asked
her if I was being held hostage?”

He laughed, I pondered, then spoke in a way that brought out the

truth.

“Not here cuz it’s too peaceful in Vancouver?”

“Yeah, not here.”

I asked if I could leave for the first time, and he told me to wait
for the chick as it would be less heat. We continued to wait for a
moment or two, and I apologized again for all of the times I asked if
he was a cop.

“It’ll be less heat if you leave now.”

This is when he referred to how Jason could be harmed.

I haven’t seen an expression as unique as hers, walking back to her

car. She looked like she was in fear, and disbelief. I said sorry
one last time, for all of the trouble I seemed to have been causing.

As I exited the vehicle, I returned home to enter a period of severe

suffering. I reignited my desire to want to live, upon waking up the
next day. I felt like I escaped my death, and a new attitude was
forming. It was this shot at new life which enabled me to stop doing
the drug completely.

Identity is always changing, I’ve went from this way to that way, to
that way again, and now back to this way for the last time. I think
it all started when I worked in Alberta. I wasn’t the type who
suited the place, and was quite disgusted by the people I came across

17
while living there. For some reason, I always felt like it was on me
to raise attention to the corruption that was going on in Canada. I
was unable to put a stop to what was going on; however, I wasn’t going
to let it go without some sort of stubborn fight. How I reacted
wasn’t worth it, as it landed me in the mental hospital for three
springs in a row, in my early twenties.

When corruption is planted before your face, it’s tough to sit back
and allow it to take place. I did a lot of research regarding the
split between the government and the police. The police don’t want
to be involved with government spies anymore, which is currently
creating some friction in the regulation of Canadian law. Spies are
interested in targeting sex offenders (or framing them as that),
and/or in issues regarding ethnicity and migration. Unfortunately,
the Liberal government passed Bill C-51. This allows the government
greater freedom to spy into our personal lives. They use issues like
those discussed above, to slander, and try to incriminate people for
things that have no actual existence.

For example, a person has a sister who is thought to be a sex

offender. Because of this, Bill C-51 is used to invade into this
person’s life, and the lives of her family. With this law, they are
granted the right to start fucking with this person’s whole
existence. This is done by tapping phones, getting into hacking
computers, and other general deceit. This is all done in attempt to
ruin the lives of the people in context, while creating false
realities. These realities become difficult to escape, leaving
siblings, parents, cousins, friends, or whoever else fits the bill in
dismay. When the person is said to be using drugs, they now have
their reason to tap that person’s phone/computers. This is all done
in attempt to invade, and control the personal lives of everybody,
now involved. This is exemplified with the desire to create
difficulties and unnecessary problems, so that the targeted person
will eventually snap under pressure.

The end outcome is hoped that some sort of unrelated crime comes
about. Because they are in position to take action (due to privacy

18
invasion), they attempt to further slander and ruin the identity of
whoever they have targeted. This sounds pretty corrupt to me. They
use identities of individuals who are discriminated against, or
people who are unique to society. These people are targeted in
attempt to frame them for something unrelated to their life. They use
whatever they want to complicate the lives of their targets, while
creating a mini war on drugs in the process.

In this, the person happens to fall victim to chemical warfare, as a

means to be slowly broken down. An informant can be present, to
continue to act as an enabler, and provider of the drug. This
happens, while other levels of deception unfold. The informant
continues to provide drugs to the newly formed addict, while
simultaneously trying to outwit this person, to try to fuck with
their heads. This is done at strategic moments, as they attempt to
break the target into nothing but a junkie.

This will continue to happen until a greater awareness is raised

towards these actions, and this corruption comes to an end. It
cannot continue if we’re aware of what is going on, as the same
mistake can’t be made, if we’re made aware of it. People can trick
you into doing a drug you’re unaware you’re doing, while drugs
resemble a health issue. They shouldn’t be treated as anything else.
We should be helping these victims fight their ailments as a society,
and not try to incriminate them. If you want to bust somebody for
doing drugs, take a walk down the Downtown East Side of Vancouver.
Take a moment, and really look at what is up. Do this without being
in a drunken stupor. Take a look at the faces, the ground, the dirt,
the disparity, and then, then you tell me, you tell me how you feel?

North Battleford was yet to know Mike’s family tree, and the horror
it entailed. As with some rural communities, drinking can start at a
young age. This is often because other activities for ruralized
youth are not as abundant as those in city centers. Because of a lack
of insight in Mike, he was quite capable of doing anything he would
want. They often have no distinction between right or wrong, and lack
a conscience for their actions because they never had one.

This is when root words come into immediate understanding, especially

19
when dealing with a drug that has many in it. Jason did not
understand what drug he was on, as Amphetamine did not coincide with
Crystal, not Meth. To fully illustrate the brainwashing techniques
in the naming of this elusive drug is quite simple (after the fact).
Crystal Methamphetamine, can be broken down into:

Cry
He
Me
Met
Meth
Am
Amp
Mine
In
Crystal

“Hey Vanessa, why’d you get into our shit the other night, at the
bush party?”

“Don’t talk to me, you deserve to get your mind corrected.”

“Come on, we’ve known each other forever. Are we not still good
friends?”

“No Mike, we are not good friends, nor have we ever been. That’s a
part of your delusion, which you should get checked.”

While trying to get away from Mike, their respective classes

switched. This was extremely hard for Vanessa, as Mike continued to
intimidate her.

“Hey, I’ll dumb Shelby in a second for you, you know that, Vanessa.”

“I’ll go to the police if you continue to act like this, leave me

alone. I mean it.”

“Or else, what?”

The bell rings for the next class to resume, while Vanessa runs away
from the plot Mike tried to instigate.

20
This was Mike, when females were directly targeted. He was like this
in attempt to relate, and be respectful to those in his environment.
This was obviously impossible, which makes me wonder how some things
are possible? Karma was a concept that Mike could not quite grasp.
Like a basketball, or learning a musical instrument (like music
production). Because of this disbelief, Mike was able to act in
spite towards himself.

He enabled and enacted several serious crimes. These actions

continued to grow exponentially, and crash at certain points.
Analogous to the stock market. I continued to question myself
towards my forgiveness above Mike. More conspiracy theories
continued to blossom. Mike had Meth marks. This were from spider
bikes, or so liked to complain about. Jason had his own thoughts
towards these wounds. He found numerous spiders roaming around his
home, which were always disposed of with his palm.

This modern form of leprosy was also always forgot. This was how
Mike slowly, and clearly lost respect for himself. He continued to
disrespect other human beings. He liked to hunt, which made him
quite intimidating to be around. He had enough weapons on him, like
pocket knives to make him look foolish to those around him. Mike was
able to continue acting like a creep, and feel nothing inside.

A specific notion of our pituitary gland is linked specifically

towards empathy. It is naturally smaller or larger, depending on our
genetics. This organ acted in opposition or is matched with
behaviorist theories of development. This is in relation to our
genetics as well.

Some care about love, some care about hate. It’s as simple as
that. A balance of sorts. A previous psychiatrist hinted at this in
a counseling session, one morning. He said an equilibrium between
both is best; however, her theories towards our ideologies, were
focused on behaviorist roots. I would like to that my psychiatrist
adhered to genetics as a precursor to our identities as well.

Upon further reflection, her behaviorist doctrine did not match with
the genetic influence of DNA. This is exhibited by the concept of
demon children, which are a base of idiocy for sex offenders to keep

21
making demon babies. This is why our world is going bad, to put it
in a nutshell.

"Man, fuck this. I need to go on a run as soon as possible.”

Jason was alone for the majority of his time in Vancouver, and
developed the habit of speaking out loud to himself on occasion.
He found it odd at first, but there were days where he wouldn’t
say a single word. He thought that you got to work your vocal
chords on the regular, if you want to be able to hold down a
conversation.

Jason was back in Vancouver, with little desire to return to

North Battleford. The locals came across way too cold, and far
removed from the progressive nature of other places Jason was
accustomed to. The lady who pointed him in the right direction was
the highlight of the trip. This caused Jason to question what this
down to earth woman was doing amongst such negative people?

An abundance of pretty women like to live in Vancouver. The fact

that it was winter meant nothing to Jason. When the temperature
is around zero, a couple of layers is necessary to run in
comfortably.

If it’s above zero, you can get away with running in shorts and a
tee-shirt. It rains a lot in Vancouver, but it isn’t that bad.
You would be surprised how the weather often works for you, when you
work yourself into harmony with Mother Nature.

To put it simple, running is fun. It is what enabled Jason

to defeat his addictions over and over, again, and again, and,
again. It's also what solidified his desire to completely quit
smoking.

Unfortunately, both of Jason’s parents smoked cigarettes

while he was growing up. A ninety percent rule stands, where if both
of your parent’s smoke while growing up the child has a ninety percent
chance of smoking as adults. Jason realized it’s
near impossible to do both, if you want to reach your potential as a

22
runner. Better yet, as a person.

Jason was quite pleased with his run, feeling the surge of
endorphins and adrenaline that followed. He was interested to
see what the results from his run had recorded. Upon uploading
his information, he saw that he ran the same pace for five
kilometres in a row. He once ran four kilometres in a row, but
never five. He put this on himself, and felt his confidence at
a high.

This was a new emotion Jason was learning to adjust to,

while learning to distinguish between the concept of being
confident in opposition to being conceited. It is the former
which required more knowledge, and was more delicate to control
and handle.

By learning such discipline, Jason was able to run

with this consistency. He was constantly improving as a better
runner, as he gained confidence is his day to day life. This
translated into his successes in the running world, regardless
of who wanted him to succeed, or fail.

In relation to what Jason was achieving on a societal, or spiritual

level was sometimes documented in his journal. With a lot of time on
his hands, society was often testy in regards to what Jason was doing
with this extra-credited time.

With so much to do, there were always bursts of creativity that left
Jason busy. He eventually came to find himself in position as
to being at a balance in regards to the emergence of his
artistic, and athletic pursuits.

Each worked as a positive balance in relation to the other,

with different successes leading to future successes in either
of the other skill.

This was depending on the different projects, and time period.

Jason made simple observations in relation to connections that he
could correlate himself with, in relation to the well-being of

23
our world. This allowed Jason to make some sense of his place
in the world, and why he continued to partake in it. The
following is the testament to the witty nature of Jason, his
prominent, and un-weltering self.

Aware of what the number four meant to most Far Eastern Asian
places, Jason always found it of fun to find a pace or digits
which included triple fours, or fours in a pattern that could be
thought of in regards to obtaining a personal connection. This
is a sign of bad luck in Eastern cultures/societies, with the
number thirteen providing an analogous sign of bad luck to
Westernized cultures/societies.

Due to Jason being a geek, he took notice of the results from a

run he ran in the fall following his time in Toronto, and that
particular race. It is in this everyday run, that a perfect
nineteen kilometres was ran in exactly a hour and a half. The
pace necessary to provide this data were the unlikely Asian
Numbers, (4:44). This acted as an onset to the role numbers
could play in Jason’s life, while furthering his evolution in
running.

It wasn’t by chance that Jason and Vanessa crossed paths the day
of Franklin’s Funeral. Vanessa was already aware of Jason.
Because of his placement into a few mental hospital Jason became
friendly with one of the nurses, who was Vanessa’s cousin. Because
Vanessa’s cousin was on the inside, and being on the good side while
being on the inside, Lara was prompted to share the peculiar story of
the peculiar man, Jason to Vanessa.

Vanessa knew of Jason long before he ever became aware of this.

This corruption was well documented in the mental hospital, which gave
Lara the motivation to look with more attention at what was happening
in Canada. Lara concluded that because Jason’s Uncle was on file as
being Mentally Ill, this was enough of a reason to label a basic
heart-break into something more. Misdiagnosis? Is it possible? Do
doctors make mistakes?

Can a drug induced psychosis, and loss of love mimic those

24
suffering from Bipolar Disorder?

Throughout all of this Lara was very good at listening to Jason,

something that was always missing in the process of his subjection to
things that were being used to frame his character. This was never
done in a positive light, rather portraying a deranged individual
under the psychosis of drugs, and the behaviour they can bring about.

Imagine a lamp, working in one sense as the bulb is brand-new, and

the room is already so filled with light, that it would not matter if
the lamp worked or not. It would be impossible to prove it in fact,
if it was burnt-out or not. Its existence didn’t matter, as the room
was so filled with light already. On the opposite end of this
reality, in theory to prove what a guarantee means the light bulb is
not working.

So, this dark room, with a broken light bulb, would be so open to any
light; however, if the light didn’t work it would prove impossible to
see light. Thus, light doesn’t exist in this setting.

Identity is manifested in a similar fashion, if we are told something

works it usually does, so we depend on this obligation. If it
doesn’t work it gets replaced by something else. This is our
expectation to reciprocate life in society, and why guarantees are
held with such focus, and esteem. People are thought of like this
forever, because of Natural Selection.

This proves the necessity in which we depend on our roles in society,

to illuminate how magical life can get if we follow the
guidelines/rules, set in place by our unique society/culture(s).
Culture doesn’t necessarily exist, and it is static, and not bound.
It changes, like a chant could, or does. It changes as quick as
these words are replaced.

The idea of roles takes great shape as well, as some are subservient
to others, because of our monetary status (classism). This is put
into position to place into our beings how we are controlled, and
regulated of us being unaware that a simple switch of a paradigm
could allow for greater light to be shed to greater issues at hand.

25
Money plays a greater role than ethnicity in the world today.

This is why guarantees are held with great respect, and esteem. By
portraying weaknesses, people are forever held with this in their
disadvantage because of Natural Selection. This proves the necessity
in which we depend on our roles in society, to illustrate that
regardless of how magical life gets there are guidelines in place.
These are put into position to place into our thoughts that we are to
be controlled, and regulated regardless of us being unaware that a
simple switch of paradigm could allow for greater light to be shed to
greater issues at hand.

The problem with regulations, and orders is so far they have always
benefited a few powerful people at the top of the hierarchy. These
are the people offering the perspective that the light bulb shining
in a room so bright it cannot be noticed is of no value, while one
not working that could easily be replaced remains ignored, to keep
mainstream society in the dark. I think we can have order without
that hierarchy.

The hierarchy is abusive, and its process wreaks havoc on people,

using people. This functions because it’s always been that way,
so it’s near impossible for us to envision a different reality
for society to acknowledge, and act on. The top always ruins
it, like multinational corporations, and beer. If power was
levelled without hedonism, we would have a start.

Jason’s unique condition couldn’t be denied by Lara, resulting

in her wanting to bring greater attention to his uniqueness.
The idea of what could come about because of his knowledge, and
life experience was something Lara felt Vanessa would find
comfort in. Lara truly believed in Jason, and that he could
help Vanessa. At the same time, she absolutely knew Vanessa
would be a huge impact in helping Jason regain control of his
life. It didn’t have to be said, Lara knew Vanessa understood why she
was introducing Jason into her life. He represented a peace sign, one
that was spray painted onto a city block; however, it was faded
because of years or neglect and erosion.

Jason still had it in him, and it was up to Vanessa to bring it

back out. She commenced looking into what was happening with

26
more attention, while gaining a better idea of who Jason was.
This was based off of what was offered off of the internet, and
what she was informed of by her cousin.

This was beyond Lara’s knowledge, as Vanessa wanted to

disconnect the two in attempt to have her own perspective of
Jason. She wanted to do her own research, so she could form a
subjective identity based off of what she discovered. This was
to compliment the perspective that Lara painted of Jason for
Vanessa. To add to this objective perspective, the transcripts
depicting what caused his hospitalization, and how he
behaved while in these three places were also read.

Vanessa used Jason’s marathoning as an in to gain more knowledge

as to who he really was as a person. Running speaks for itself.
She became aware that Jason was registered for a race in the
next month, and believed it to be a great opportunity to reach
out to him. It was her intention to see how Jason maintained
throughout all of the torture he was subjected to.

Throughout all of this, he was becoming more aware of the Angels that
were watching his every move, entities offering protection to Jason
in his search for redemption/and recovery. He knew his recovery
would, and that it had to come in an unconventional manner. He
wasn’t about to give his life history to another psychiatrist,
and begin that process again. This time, the cosmos had to
intervene to fully grant Jason his life back.

Vanessa flew to Vancouver, in attempt to catch Jason following

his race. It was her wish to get to him before it got too late,
so better sense could be made of all of this shit before he
ended up dead (like everybody who discounted Jason, also
predicted for his future). Through her own research, Vanessa
knew of the relationship between Jason and Mike. She discovered
how Mike intentionally applied for/and was hired where Jason was
working, to try to befriend him with ill intentions, to break
him down to his death. This worked well for Mike, as he was a
drug addict who had no other way to pay for his habits.

27
Government spies did not have a salary; however, they got paid
by the hour, with overtime being accounted for. Because of the
split between the police and government spies (who were working
together at the time), greater freedom was placed in using
illegalities to gain greater advancements in their desire to
destroy Jason’s life.

At the same time there were those working in conjunction on all

levels, and a heated setting arose in Vancouver’s control system.
This allowed spies more opportunity to gather further information on
Jason, in order to bring him down in a scandalous tale. This was a
long term mentality in mental breakdown trained to Mike, who was more
than ready to interfere with someone that everybody seems to have had
a problem with.

The problem with this is, Jason has/or had little, or no problem with
anybody. In fact, he is held in high regards with most people. This
is what constructed the plan of his expected, and attempted execution
as a person.

This created so much friction for the society he lived in, that
everything he touched was too heat and brought unwanted
Attention. People like to bring down those who are on top, and
Jason was definitely in a position of dominance.

Mike had been sabotaging two lives that have never intersected,
while holding so much in relation to each other. Mike was
raised without parents, enabling him to become the soul-less
punk who ravaged the streets of Vancouver. It was Vanessa’s
attempt to put an end to Mike’s damaging rampage, while trying
to save the life of another victim. It was in her every wish
and desire to widen Jason’s eyes to what was happening, and how
it didn’t have to be so difficult to become removed/and
eventually escape this manifested death sentence.

To see someone else suffer from Mike’s hatred created greater

ammunition for Vanessa in relation to helping Jason out of his
dark, and twisted hole. Vanessa sought for justice not only on
a personal level, but on a global scale as well.

28
Vanessa wasn’t like most of her peers, something that became
even more evident as they entered High School. It was difficult
for Vanessa to find commonalities with her schoolmates, as their
main focus was directed towards getting drunk, and causing
trouble. To put it simple, alcohol didn’t appeal to Vanessa.
In her eyes, it only seemed to bring about turmoil, and the
eventual demise of most families in North Battleford.

While her peers tried to find themselves through immature acts that
they constituted as bonding experiences, Vanessa focused on ballet.
She did this, while the youth in North Battleford were interested in
getting trashed on the weekends, and sneaking booze into school
to entertain themselves. This, along with other forms of dance
were Vanessa’s escape from the common, small-town corruption
that was taking place. Ballet was Vanessa’s outlet, and offered
her that. A sense of inner self was felt while dancing,
leading to a feeling of freedom. This was Vanessa’s main reason
as to why she chose to dance, something she did for herself.

Mike was a creep, a well known character trait that went

unpunished amongst the youth in North Battleford. Shelby wasn’t any
better, which enabled the gruesome duo to entice fear into the
innocent people that inhabited the town. This is how Vanessa
got tricked. Vanessa had a soft spot for Shelby. She was
tricked by Shelby, and Mike. Her empathy would soon be
adjusted, and the development of a cold as ice attitude would
replace it.

To illustrate what took place is like explaining the idea of

hell to a person possessed. The person in context can’t relate
to it because they’re in it, and we don’t want to know about it
because most of us haven’t been subjected to it. Mike used his
girlfriend to lure Vanessa into a restricted area of their high
school, explaining how an emergency was taking place.

This is where Mike was waiting, to rape her. Vanessa was unable
to do anything, and felt like she was the one in the wrong.
This is the case with many sexually assaulted (or rape) victims,
where they often feel responsible for what took place. It is with
this mental trajectory that trauma enters the victim’s memory,

29
becoming something that they are forced to live with for the
remainder of their lives. Because of these actions put forth on
these victims, the victims suffer in ways oblivious to their own
knowing. This could include being sensitive, or quiet.

Mike was able to work the weak penal systems in effect in

North Battleford, and was left without any punishment. No criminal
record, jail time, or anything else that could be thought of
whatsoever; however, the status of a rat was earned. To keep
things quiet, Mike was subtly forced to become a government spy.
Mike became a spy, along with many others he would come to know
through the status of a caught criminal put to use to further
the terror of the government and their ties to certain
multinational corporations. I guess a lot of criminals come
from this community. The perfect case was cooking for Mike, a
case that was a lifetime in the making; however, it was only now
starting to bubble, really starting to boil.

This meant Mike had to move to Vancouver. Vanessa had to begin

a long, long, process of healing through counselling, and
constant support from her family and friends. Of most
importance, to turn inside, and realize that none of this
matters. What matters is being free, something Vanessa and
Jason had to both work towards. To be free forever, to save
each other from society, and to fully unite as soul mates.

The race came soon, and was over just as quick. Prophecy came
about once again, once again, too freaky to be able to credit to
anything but a higher power Jason was connected to. This was in
relation to Jason’s placing in the race. He came in at 36th
place. He made reference to that exact number, in a song that
he produced, and rapped in a month prior to the race. Jason was
a musician, writer, and a rapper since the nineties. He tried
to free himself from Mike, and all of the shit that he was being
subjected to. When Jason wasn’t training, he was usually
working on some sort of creative pursuit. This must be for the
love of it, as that much energy spent on running and the arts is
not put forth by too many other people out there. Jason wrote,
rapped, and produced a song he made about a month before the

30
race.

“...G 36 O’s in a Key, Mike got 63 on Boston, see I ain’t causing a

problem...”

Anonymous

The song referenced also has a lyric, as to how the world turned
against Jason after everybody found out about his health issues.
Strange enough, people liked to talk about it. At the same
time, they did nothing to help him; instead, they tried to
create a monster. The lyric is as follows:

“...everybody knows, yeah I know, but I don’t know you now, like
Wo...”

Anonymous

More prophecy came about in another race, this one being a full
marathon that Jason ran in. The race took place in Toronto,
Ontario. The winner recorded the fastest time to ever run a
marathon, on Canadian soil. He was awarded $50,000 for breaking
the record. Jason was a couple minutes from a personal best,
which landed him in 64th place. He ran the morning before the
race, and recorded a time of 26:44, while also climbing an
elevation of 64 meters. This also relates to the rap world, as
The Notorious B.I.G. gives mention to these two digits in a
particular lyric off of his Life after Death, double disc album.

“...996 grams, you need 4 more...”

R.I.P.
May 21, 1972
March 9, 1997

Jason was successful in breaking the eighty minute mark in this

race. He recorded a time of 1:19:44, with another Notorious
B.I.G. connection coming through strong.

“...Kick in the door, wavin the 44, all you heard was Poppa don’t hit
me no more...”

R.I.P.

31
 May 21, 1972
March 9, 1997

Vanessa did her homework. This enabled her to surprise Jason,

with her brief on the spot act of Journalism. Upon seeing
Jason cross the finish line, Vanessa knew she had a matter of
moments to write something that would catch Jason’s eye. She had
to accomplish this without appearing to be too upfront,
simultaneously. She didn’t even give herself the chance to
proofread it, as she knew he could disappear in a second. This
was Vanessa's ideal opportunity to catch Jason’s attention.
Luckily, Vanessa is a genius and was able to write a well-writ
piece of writing in minutes. Vanessa configured that the only
way this would work out, is if she directly approached Jason as
he was celebrating his victorious race. Vanessa thought that
she may not get a chance like this again, so she was quick to
jump on it. Fortunately, Jason was easy to get to.

“Hey, you, there Mister in the blue!”

“Ahh, hello. Hey, I’ve met you before, I can’t quite recall
Though?”

Vanessa replied, explaining how they met one afternoon in

North Battleford. She went on to say how she wasn’t stalking him;
however, she was there on business. Vanessa mentioned something
along the lines of it not being everyday that you get to talk
with a prophet, and was waiting for the right moment to pass the
note along to Jason.

“How do I get to know this female, without having my past come

back and scare her away? This appears impossible, and I’m sick
of having to hide something that is of no importance anymore."

This is what was being processed in Jason’s mind, as strong

waves of euphoria, and adrenaline surged through his entire
being. Running a sub-80 minute half-marathon, is not an easy
accomplishment. Jason succeeded in doing this by sixteen
seconds. He sprinted the last couple hundred of meters, to
certify his ranking. It was a kick in the door opportunity,
literally.

32
This is when Vanessa handed the piece of writing to Jason, as
she caught him daydreaming about how he could make it work
between the two. How to make it work without anything from
the past becoming, or remaining an issue. Vanessa sensed this
was on Jason’s mind, and found it to be the perfect time to
explain to him how she was there to help him through. Vanessa
quickly scribbled down her information, and one last message to
go with the quick article regarding Jason’s race.

"Make it your top priority to contact me as soon as possible.

Vanessa."

Jason was worked up about everything following the race,

especially the note he received which contained so much
uncertainty regarding the privacy of his identity. This lead to
a tremendous amount of anxiety, and he was unsure as to how he
would go about meeting his new friend? He was suspicious of the
knowledge Vanessa had regarding who he was? If she knew so much
about him, it made him wonder who else out there obtained this
personal information? How would, or could some stranger he met
while walking to a funeral, come up to him after a race? To
illustrate something that was completely true, and in an
extremely accurate fashion? Why would someone take such
interest in a stranger’s life?

Jason found the detail in the article to be so remarkable. The

greatest part, was that somebody finally took his side and
didn’t immediately discount him as a human being, because of a
chain. This granted him peace of mind, and Jason felt that he
was able to place trust in a person he only met twice. What
solidified the deal for Jason, was that he wasn’t misled by
Vanessa upon their first encounter. By finally getting accurate
directions from a stranger, some faith in humanity was restored.
Jason placed great value on this, and it kept him in a positive
state of mind about everything, for the time being.

This instance of instant solidarity immediately put Jason in a

state of awe, and attraction. He finally found out her name, as
Vanessa scribbled it on the paper before giving it to him. He
decided to give himself the night, a time of grace, to gather

33
his emotions. He had to try to make sense of everything that
had come about throughout the day, while simultaneously trying
to come down from his fastest race ever ran in.

It was tough to fall asleep that night, as a heavy state of

dehydration was present. Unfortunately, alcohol is hard to
ignore in the running world. This is in contrast to what one
would assume; however, a lot of the best runners I know drink
(or they like to talk about it anyway). I don’t know how to be
completely honest, as I haven’t had any drinks with any of the
runners that I know. When I drink it’s by myself. I try to
keep it to two tall cans at a time, and I don’t feel as though I
need to have permission to drink anymore. I’m a grown ass man,
I can drink a beer if I wish. I’ve proved that I can live like
a normal person, and handle myself. I can be without needing to
drink a case of beer everyday; however, forever, will I obtain
the same identity? The thought that Vanessa may be able to help
in reversing this label came to mind, what could this stranger
really do for me?

"Maybe she’s police?”

I entertained this idea for a moment, and then the thought that
everything that happens is why it is happening. If I’m being
set up for a final set up, that’s how it was meant to be. It
would make for an interesting life. I was quick to reverse this
self defeating train of thought, into positive affirmations:
“What is this delusional thinking? What drove you to think like
this? You have done nothing wrong, in fact, society has
mistreated you, and you deserve to get rid of these ideas of
ignorance. You’re one of the best runners in Vancouver, and are
only getting better. Remember everything you have overcame,
everything you have conquered, and everything you will continue
to conquer.”

That was a good wake up, and I was ready to call Vanessa. I had
a vision of her leaving the city without us seeing each other again.
I had the thought that she may be leaving by evening, and assuming
our conversation would be listened to, I dialed the number anyway.

34
What did I really have to hide, anyway? It rang three times, and as I
expected as the fourth was about to ring, I heard a faint:

“Hello.”

“Hi, Vanessa. It’s Jason. How are you? Are you in town still?”

“Hey Jason, thank you for calling. Yes, I’m still in Vancouver.
I feel like something just got real, do you feel it as well?”

“Ahh, yeah, I feel like there has been a shift or something in

my psyche. No lie, it must be a combination of the awareness I
believe you understand that I know. I guess that’s the
first time I’ve been fully accepted for all of this heat, heat
that doesn’t need to be said.”

“Hmm, I like what you said, for all of this that doesn’t need to
be said. We’re on the same page then.”

“Yes, there is no doubt to feel, or to feel responsible for me.

I’d like to see you while you’re still in Van though? It seems
like there is something more, that there is something more that
you need to tell me?”

“Ahh, yeah, you nailed it. What are you doing at like, 5? We
could go for a walk? You know the city better than me.”

“Okay, that sounds awesome. We can meet at Sunset Beach, if

that is near where you are staying? That’s in the West End of
Downtown.”

“Yes, English Bay, correct?”

“You’re right, so you know you won’t forget about me?”

“Yes, I won’t leave you stranded at the beach. That doesn’t

sound like any fun at all.”

“Hmm, yeah, you know me so well. My fear of rejection, or of

being left out. What a big suck I am!”

“Well, we’ll work on that. Okay, I must do some things now,

before five. Will see you soon.”

35
“See you again, soon.”

After finishing our conversation, the idea was stuck in my mind

that this mysterious woman was actually a higher rank of the
police, or another spy trying to trick me. To trick me into
doing something I wouldn’t normally do, to get me into some
other mischief. There are always people plotting, especially when
you’re at the top. It’s when you’re at the top that people
really try to bring you down. I’ve been dealing with this ever
since I can remember. Also, why should I place so much trust in
somebody who is still a stranger? In the end, I determined I was on
familiar ground. I can always run away. I can run away to somewhere
safe, a place without deceit where I can be happy.

I’m still searching for that inner peace, and it’s been damn near a
decade since this all started. At the same time, I questioned how she
knew Mike? The more I thought about it, the more paranoid I got that
this chick was actually working for the police. Why would such a
sweetheart be involved with such an asshole? Mike and I haven’t
spoken or seen each other in six months, and I’m not even sure if he’s
still in the city?

All of this uncertainty, certainly raised my anxiety. This

didn’t bother me too much at the time, as I anticipated that it
would soon be resolved. A bit of closure that I’ve been looking
for, while acting as the beginning of another chapter in my
life. Who is Vanessa? She’s definitely too clever to give it
up, upon further reflection.

I arrived before five. We were to meet at Sunset Beach, which

is placed inside of a complex strain of beaches, and parks along
English Bay. This eventually transforms into Stanley Park, a
forested area along the shore that Vancouver is famous for. It
is a beautiful stretch of land, as it is where the Burrard Inlet
meets the Rocky Mountains. We did not set an exact meeting
spot, so I left extra early. I didn’t want to lose this
opportunity to meet Vanessa. Luckily, I saw her waiting by the
area I usually hang out at. It being winter, we were well

36
dressed for the weather. It was sunny, but there was a crisp,
coldness to the air. I find it to be warmer on overcast days,
in Vancouver. A sunny day that is also warm is hard to come
across. In contrast, a drought usually exists in the summer
season. It's easy to notice the paradise like weather as it
acts as a consistent, compliment to this time period of the year
in Vancouver. It being around zero degrees, I wasn’t sweating,
as I approached Vanessa.

I imagined how revealing this meeting would be. I was calm,

ready to accept whatever was about to take shape. I was hoping
for the best, that she was actually a working journalist. That
her interest in me was beyond the label that was placed on me,
one in which society was so interested in, and interjecting in.
What if Vanessa was a plant, someone trying to get the best of
me? Her name also struck me unfamiliar, Vanessa?

He thought that her conception may have been in Vancouver, on

their parents’ honeymoon. He figured that sounded about right,
and continued the wandering game of wondering what the fuck has
been going on in the past year? Why would a stranger show such
interest in him, unless it was to further his suffering? He thought
of this all of his life. What made this strange circumstance any
different?

This is when another thought entered Jason’s mind, but in

relation to Mike, and a night that they worked together at the
bar. The bar’s management failed to get their laundry done for
that shift, so the back staff was forced to wear their street
clothes. Because of this all of the staff working in the back
were forced to wear the pants they arrived in.

“What’s that on your jeans?”

Jason was quick to catch onto Mike’s joke. The idiocy behind this
prank was that Jason had sperm on his jeans. Jason did not look down.
He looked at Mike. He responded with a calm demeanor.

“Don’t worry, that’s not Jizz.”

37
This annoying memory garnered a tremendous amount of resentment in
Mike. The hatred thrown at Jason left him with enough belief
regarding Vanessa’s theories towards government spies that operated in
Canada.

He realized when other people came across his computer, in a coffee

shop, etc., that there was a substance next to his mouse on his laptop
that looked unfamiliar. He often got strange looks, as these
strangers believed it to also be sperm, when in fact it was something
else. He had a decal that was laced with a particular material left
behind that looked like glue. When he initially took it off, which
was a struggle, he was sick for two weeks. This is when he got it
examined, and was informed that it was Anthrax.

What is father without an I and an er? An abortion. He was then

reminded of a thought experiment he once had. It regarded abortion,
and one’s views regarding murder. If you believe in murder,
and not abortion what is your stance on life?

He believed that she was not a bad person, someone waiting to hurt
him. This was the last thought Jason had before saying hello to
Vanessa. He realized thinking of these topics before meeting a woman
were not appropriate, and created an atmosphere full of anxiety.
This painted a picture that looked horrible to the artist, but
everybody who saw it said it looked amazing. Even though the artist
knew they were lying.

“Hey there.”

I approached from the left side of the field. I’m not the type
of person to spook friends, or play games. I don’t mess around
with people, or try to scare them with crude jokes. I’ve been
put through this enough. A perfect example is a past friend of his
who used to taunt his girlfriend by saying the police were coming up
from behind to arrest her for drinking in public. I don’t play
games. It isn’t a game.

“Hi Jason, so glad to see you again! Not so sweaty this time!

“Yes, one must dress for the occasion.”

38
“Congratulations on your amazing race, I did not think I ever got the
opportunity to say that to you yesterday!”

This is how I usually get fooled. Taken back by fake kindness, to

realize its intentions were negative in later reflection. Usually
unable to see the message from its onset, pain is endured and waited
on until its awareness (or ability), is taken in. This is worse for
most people, in the long run. This is what triggered me to want to
drink, which acted as a gateway to other actions which were
detrimental to my health. I had one last word with myself, and
continued to carry on the conversation with Vanessa.

“Thanks, yeah, everything went as planned. I couldn’t be

Happier. I’m still a bit uncertain about your note, and the
quick journalism you were so adept at creating on spot. Which
begs me to question, are you the smartest person on this planet?”

“Well, that would be impossible to know. But. Your brave run in the
cold weather, and tough course I hear?”

“Yes, it was a hard half-marathon, you are correct.”

Instead of having Jason ask him his usual annoying question, she went
for it out of good fun.

“I am a police officer, but I am not here to arrest you.”

“I don’t give a fuck, like Bishop. If you want to arrest me, go for
it.”

“What would I be arresting you for, may I ask, sharp shooter?”

“I guess.”

Jason stumbled his words, and realized his error towards her
Character.

“That is a good question, and I should watch my lip.”

“Yes, especially in front of a woman. For your information, woman do

39
not get treated well in today’s day and age.”

“Well, I would agree. At the same time, shooter, I believe it is a

matriarchy, and not patriarchy as everybody so heavenly believes in.”

“Well, you do have a good point, as a lot of women misinterpret

feminism. But. I guarantee you this, I do not.”

Jason realized his error, and apologized immediately.

“I apologize, that was out of my character.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, give me an example of patriarchy if you are so well intune with

these topics.”

“Who’s Bishop?”

“Since you are so curious, he’s a character played by Tupac

Shakur.”

“In a movie?”

“Yes. In the movie Juice, he went gun crazy and ended up doing
something quite dumb in the end."

Visions of blood, and murder came into Vanessa’s head when she
thought of Tupac’s music. She could only imagine what his movies
would be about. She retaliated with a sharp comment.

“Kinda like what might happen to you, if you don’t sharpen up.”

“Yes, you’re right. I guess I acted out of turn.”

Vanessa realized his wit, and that that was the worst thing a man
could say to a woman. Men these days don’t get away with these kinds
of comments, and it was a perfect example of how patriarchy does
still rule our hemisphere.

“That’s right sir, and you better learn some manners if you want to
keep talking with me.”

40
Jason responded without disrespect, and instead with an apology.

“Do you know what assuming does?”

“Yes, I apologize again. Do you accept my apology.”

“You have yet to answer my question.”

“I guess I am being ignorant.”

“Do you know what that means, as well.”

“No, not really. I do know what assume means, and I apologize.”

“What does it mean then?”

“That it makes an ass out of you and me.”

“Yes, and for that snide response, I will enlighten you on

Ignorance.”

He realized he did not know what this meant, and asked her politely
as he was getting confused by her wit. He was ashamed of his brave
attempt at being an asshole.

“What does it mean, and I apologize profusely.”

“It means you know better.”

“I apologize again, and now I feel bad, just bad.”

Vanessa understood he was being sincere, and saw the innocence in

him. It was realized that he did not know what he was doing, and
felt horrible about it. Without knowing.

“Thank you, and thanks for the empathy you showed me.”

“Thank you.”

Vanessa smiled at me, and Jason felt better. He realized his errors,
and that he could not turn back that grandfather clock. Because of
this, he knew not to test his luck with his spiteful nature.
In this, Jason deserved every bit of the paranoia that felt. This is

41
something Jason had to realize, if he were to improve his overall
character as a person.

Vanessa opened up to him because of his awareness towards himself,

and she could tell he was shook. Because of his truthfulness, she
was ready to reverse it into something positive. She did not want
Jason to feel any resentment from her, or for him to feel paranoid.
She needed Jason to know this.

“This regards something greater that you may or may not be

currently aware of. I don’t know what you know, and I don’t
expect you to know what I know. What I need you to know is that
I am on your side. There is something greater at play regarding
the note I gave you, and how I know of your relationship with
Mike. You see, I grew up with Mike. I am also well aware of his
ruthless ways, and take concern in what happened to you because
of his actions.”

Vanessa was getting nervous that Jason was starting to lose his
patience with her, and overwhelming knowledge of what she believed
his opinion of hers to be (which was skewed).

“This deceit is held accountable by an organization that you may, or

may not be conscious of. To make it a bit easier on you, government
spies have been intervening in your life. They’ve been masking their
identity, while gaining your friendship over the years. They almost
had you exactly where they wanted you. In the ground. It’s not hard
to tell what they were plotting, and what you just escaped. So,
don’t be so proud. You got lucky.”

I haven’t had much respect for the police in my life up to this

point, but a shift was taking place. It is this switch which
enabled me to realize that the police were not behind the
conspiracy theories I had developed. A clearer understanding of
what was happening encroached, as I realized everything I
believed to be true was true. This was the beginning of my
redemption, and I was ready to roll with what Vanessa had in mind.

To place so much trust in somebody who worked for the police,

42
while holding an attraction for that person put Jason in an
unfamiliar position. Obtaining the overall theme or thought
that he would be framed for a crime he did not commit, it was
easier to come down from this irrational thought when explained
by said person. Vanessa was helpful in easing his nerves, and
Jason was left wondering?

“What a predicament I’ve come across. I met somebody who

understands what's going on in my life, while showing a strong
interest in wanting to help me; however, she works for the
Police.”

I wasn't in a hurry to leave, as I felt comfortable around

Vanessa. I was curious to see what else she could open my eyes
to?

“Sorry to leave so soon, but I have to go. I know this is a lot

to comprehend, but trust me. I am on your side, Jason.”

“I want to believe this to be true, but how am I to be certain

this isn’t a set-up? You could be working for the same people,
the same people you explained you are working against?"

“Yes, the uncertainty. I understand your relationship regarding

this, but let me tell you this. I know you didn’t know what you
were doing, the first time you did it. Correct?”

“Well, yes. But, how did you know? This is the one thing about
it, that I wish people actually knew of.”

“Well, unfortunately ... this is their tactic, and acted as the

prelude to your friend’s passing.”

“So you know Franklin? Jeez, what else do you know about my
life I am unaware of?”

“Nothing else besides what I needed, or need to know. We can

figure out the rest as things progress. That's all I can say
about this for now. We must meet up again ..."

“Yes, please do tell me what else I don’t know about myself.”

“Oh I will. We'll bring an end to all of this shit. You have

43
my number, now would you mind if I asked you for yours as well.”

Jason believed Vanessa was on his side, so he proceeded to write

down his information. They parted ways after this.

“It’s okay to lie, sometimes.”

Vanessa could remember her mother saying this to her from time
to time, as she developed into a young woman. It is this
perspective that enabled Vanessa to deal with her peers, in day
to day interactions. It also granted her greater freedom in
life, as it was up to her to make the right decisions. With
this reasoning, Vanessa had enough strength to fight for her
right to be alive.

Vanessa’s parents were well aware that because of her being born
with a beautiful mind, it would also be a challenge for her to
learn to deal with this blessing. It is this blessing that she
learned to balance, as the world is not a balanced placed. In
fact, it is the opposite of that. This was accepted as Vanessa
blossomed into her adolescent, and eventual adult life.

Vanessa's parents raised her with the proper love and care to
live it, providing her with as much protection as possible
against the harshness of society.

The corruption that North Battleford bred was well known to some
residents of the city; however, few were in position to do
anything about it. The government had their hands in various
resources coming from this frontier town. Being rich in
resource(s), specifically the production, manufacturing, and
sale of Amphetamine. This paints a poor picture
of what the commodity is about, globalization.

This was a strong commodity, and was transferred from North

Battleford to a global market. This made any retaliation obsolete.
It is a bad place, breeding people notorious for underage drinking,
racism, suicide, drinking and driving, murder, assault, and
manufacturing of Crystal Methamphetamine.

44
The majority of these crimes were from assault, and the majority of
these were amongst teenagers. Because there are few social programs
offered for the youth, the youth have little to do besides drink, and
get involved in the sale of Methamphetamine. Racism exists between
the Caucasians, and the Aboriginals living in the rural community of
North Battleford. This resulted in a shooting of an Aboriginal child
on a farm.

This was clear to Vanessa’s parents as she came of age in North

Battleford, and the drug problem escalated. They hoped Vanessa
could withstand, and adapt to the cold reality that grew to
exist in North Battleford. It was not in their intention to move, as
most people in their predicament had. It was their intention
to try and gain greater awareness to what was happening in this
Isolated, rural community.

North Battleford had the highest crime rate of all Canadian cities
in 2017. Vanessa, knew the hardships of this.

In opposition to the lack of order which exists in North Battleford

(or the Battlefords). A theme that is sometimes unacknowledged by
readers of the human species that something of importance is the
trust in people that anarchy does not mean chaos. Instead, this
should be thought of as an Utopia. This could be visualized as an
abundance of food for every soul on this planet, with fertile fields
of crops. There would be no ultimate source of power, as peace would
prevail. We would no longer be fighting over resources/or
commodities. There would be no governments, as a result no
corruption would prevail on Earth. Food, shelter, and clothing
should be free for all human beings across the world.

Vanessa never hesitated in telling a white lie; however what

separated Vanessa, and herself from the average lie is her
memory. She remembered every conversation, agreement, decision,
or interaction with every single person she interacted with.
As a courageous journalist Vanessa’s opinions regarding the shooting
in North Battleford were somewhat biased, due to its infamy as it
being considered the worst place to be raised, or lived in, in
Canada. Notorious North Battleford should have been the first thing
discussed in the articles, according to Vanessa. Because Vanessa was

45
true to her beliefs, she didn’t read into these weak attempts at
justice provided by the local, and Nationwide news coverage.
It wasn’t her desire to bring truth to this tragedy (as it could have
been avoided). The kid who was killed did not have to be murdered;
however, because of the racist undertones which exist in the rural
community, she was able to see this did not have to happen. In her
opinion, the racist state which teaches the youth that it is okay to
act this way is what breeds the racist undertones that make the small
community so dangerous to live in.

She obtained an advantage because of this, meaning her lies

never transpired into a storm of falseness. Vanessa liked to
think ahead, to analyze every possible outcome of each various
social interaction. It is this mindset that allowed Vanessa to
regain control of her life, and overruling trauma. Trauma that
was never really dealt with in the first place, as is the case
with most people who deal with hardships.

Providing Jason with correct directions to Franklin's funeral

was enough for Jason to gain Vanessa’s trust. Vanessa had Jason
exactly where she wanted him. He was at the mercy of her
intoxicating beauty, and seemingly convincing personality. This
placed Jason in his usual placement of being a sucker, as he was
a sucker, after all. He believed that the sure shot in hope for
a woman was always around the corner. It’s with this naive
belief that Vanessa was able to continue to fool Jason, in
relation to her relationship with Mike.

This in turn protected her, and Jason in their ties to other

government spies, who could prove dangerous. Vanessa sought
redemption for her and Jason, an idea that was becoming more
realistic. It looked as though there was a chance that more
than two birds would get stoned with one rock. This being the
rescue of Jason and Vanessa through each other, while bringing
down their arch-nemesis in the process.

People continued to gossip, and hear stories about Jason. This

made life increasingly hard for him to deal with. It wasn’t a
matter of his reputation being ruined, rather his colleagues
were now at risk for being publicly scrutinized. This shows
Jason’s selfless characteristic, as he put his friends

46
identities in greater relation to needing respect than he did
his own. He was concerned that the people he knew were placed
into this battle, whether they wanted to be or not. Reputations
were at stake, resulting in Jason being lowered on the pole of
equality. He didn’t feel equal to his peers anymore. Jason’s
self-esteem was at an all time low, and he was uncertain if he
would ever find a way out of this negative downwards spiral. He
often wished to not wake up in the morning.

A few friends were around who believed that Jason would be able
to survive this slip-up, that it did not define who he was as a
person. It is this love that helped pull Jason out of the
sinking sand he was slowly suffocating from. It is this love
which eventually helped defeat the chain he was connected to.
The majority of people continued to heckle Jason, keeping him
trapped inside of a hell he believed to be incapable of getting
out of. This made it very difficult for Jason to refrain from
using, compounding to the point that Jason gave up on life. He
began to live unlike himself, while becoming extremely
self-destructive in the process.

Guilt compiled to the point that he did not want to live

anymore. It was through running that Jason was able to find
himself again. Throughout all of this, Vanessa secretly
monitored his safety. She did not want Jason to die, and was
ready to enter his life once she knew he was completely healed.
Jason had been waiting for someone like Vanessa his entire life;
however, he was unaware his Guardian Angel was already there.
That she was waiting for him, to come to him in attempt to try
to save him. He now hated the drug as much as society hates
those who do it.

Vanessa was quick to locate Mike. Jason and Mike had zero
contact since Jason got clean, over half of a year ago. The
thing that really got Jason to realize something was up with
Mike, before being informed of the deeper ploy, was his pure
disregard for humanity.

There were numerous instances where Jason was convinced that Mike was

47
truly soul-less, that he was actually the embodiment of Lucifer, and
took control of Mike’s being. Jason came to realize if he didn’t
initiate contact, they’d never meet in the first place. This is what
started to make Jason suspicious.

What really opened Jason’s eyes, was when he played a new beat he
made for Mike. In the song, Jason played the bells in a fashion
similar to when he was an alter server, specifically during the
Consecration of Christ. This is a sacrament in Catholicism, where
bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ,
upon Communion.

Jason’s theories of Mike’s possession were confirmed. They were

actually strengthened, when Mike demanded for the song to be
turned off. He presented himself in an extremely shook manner,
in pure horror. Jason called him on this?

“Are you sure you’re not possessed?”

To be that consumed by a drug as mind-altering as Amphetamine,

while showing nothing to anything represented a scary reality
for anybody to imagine. He was aware of how ridiculous it
makes you think, and could only fathom what it would be like to
need to be on it every waking second of the day.

The problem was, Jason was so desperate for companionship that

he still reached out to Mike, regardless of what he thought of Mike.
It is this weakness that made Jason resort to losing all of what he
worked so hard in achieving. More importantly, he lost not only the
respect, but in actuality he lost all of his friends.

This is significant, as being abandoned while under/in this type of

situation can lead to the eventual ending of anybody using it. It’s
a scary reality to be absorbed into, often resulting in psychosis of
the user.

Jason had to hang out with a guy he actually hated, because

of his loses. As a result, he gained a few fast times. He also
almost lost his life, on more than one occasion. In the end, he
discovered how some guy sneaked into his life, specifically to
have him killed. Ever so slowly, or quickly if they got lucky.

48
Most importantly, how brutal of a death sentence is Amphetamine
mixed with societal trickery.

“What a waste.”

Thought Jason, as he reflected on all of the money, kindness,

and knowledge he offered Mike. What a chump, to get played by
such a bad person. The remorse that was so strong on Jason’s
conscience was slowly being replaced by an understanding, and a
desire to make everything right. This was aided in a huge way
by, and through Vanessa as she slowly explained more regarding
Mike’s identity, and what he really represents. This made Jason
realize Mike was not like normal people. He truly believed Mike
was the devil, set to destroy Jason and everything he worked so
hard at attaining.

Vanessa’s insight into Mike’s true identity as a rat, working as a

spy for the government marked a moment of clarity for Jason.

Everything that felt so empty, and meaningless was beginning to take

shape and finally start to make sense.

It was like the weight of the world was lifted off of Jason’s
back, as things continued to progress through Vanessa’s
revelations. More detail illustrating different government
tactics were discussed, strategies put in place to purposely
leave Canadians disadvantaged. This was illustrated in their
conversations regarding Mike, and the overall status of where
they sat in respect to their safety. At the same time, they
were left in question as to what their specific roles were in
order to put an end to all of this shit, without raising a storm.

A time of crisis, that was blatantly being overlooked by

what seemed to be everybody living in the city. Ignorance was
acting as bliss to the extreme, for most of the residents of
Vancouver.

Jason had no companionship, prior to Vanessa’s arrival. It was

torturous for Jason to live life alone, as he was left with

49
nothing but his conscience to answer to. This was his
entertainment, which created thoughts that were usually
intrusive in nature. This lead to a mild, constant case of
anxiety that he believed to have beat. Times were tough, as
Jason returned to a low he thought he had already defeated, only
to have to face and defeat it again. This time Jason had help
in respect to regaining his control, as he had his previous
episodes to draw experience from.

He now was trapped in a mini drug war, and had to find a way out.
Jason was a fully functioning person, although he lived with a
disability. He also had that stigma to deal with, which only
complicated matters worse.

This label was enough for Jason to want to give up on occasion, as

he was well aware of what a trip into the mental hospital a
decade later would be like. This is why Jason drank on occasion, as
it seemed to lift his stress. Alcohol masked his anxiety, and a
momentarily hiatus from stress was granted.

This led to a brief period of relaxation; however, in the past it

also served as a gateway drug to other self-destructive substances.
These were in direct alignment with Mike’s methods in attempt to
break Jason apart, to use alcohol to loosen him up. Let the alcohol
make him tired to the point that he needs something to keep him
going, and then introduce a couple of lines to keep him addicted to
the substance.

“How am I alive?”

Jason mentioned to Vanessa one day, in the most literal way

imaginable.

“Well, you’re very strong physically, and your mind has

experienced things that only a few of us can relate to. Plus,
whatever this means to you. You were always given better
quality product, not to glorify it. They wanted to keep you alive,
to fully thrash your character with other methods that were
luckily defeated by your own street smarts. Or luck. You got

50
very lucky, on numerous occasions. Let’s try to make luck no
longer a necessity, and try to build towards something greater
that either of us can currently believe.”

“To be able to say something as strong as that, I have an

inclination that you’re one of the few people who have a mind
strong enough to deal with as much as I have; however, in a
manner unique to you, as the individual. One must experience
something in order to shed light on it, otherwise it makes me
wonder where they are drawing their guidance from. I don’t see
it being illustrated in mainstream media, music, or any other
avenue present in Western society. Nowadays, I feel like I’m
living in a world unlike ours, as everything I’ve come to learn
or believe has basically been based off of malicious
intentions.”

“That shows great insight Jason, and yes I have experienced my

own difficulties in life. As with the next person you’ll see
when you go outside; however, a man tortured for a year as a
prisoner of war may have a lot more to deal with than somebody
living in a drunken stupor with disregard to being a positive
influence to society. Empowerment is the only answer to these
problems. Some things just don’t go away though, you
know?”

“Ha, yeah, I do know what you mean.”

The sun began to set, as Jason and Vanessa continued their

conversation of why we are like we are in Canada? Our relation to why
it is how it is here? As with why we are how we are, in opposition to
the rest of Canada? This further strengthened the bond already
established between the two, and a feeling of mutual attraction was
present; however, both realized this wasn’t appropriate at the time,
although a spark was ignited as darkness entered the room.

Jason and Vanessa had a relationship based off of trust, which

left any unsaid gossip that, left alone. This compounded as they
got to know each other a bit better, upon seeing each other time
after time after time. Because of going forward as opposed to
looking back, they were quick to form together as best friends,
always aware of what the other seemed to be feeling without it

51
having to be said. The best things said, are often left unsaid.
This is the philosophy taken by Jason and Vanessa regarding
having to discuss minor details that are only self-defeating in
the end. Move on. There are bigger issues at play, and both
were ready to tackle any issue that came about as one, as they
were finally not left alone.

They fell asleep that night at Jason’s small, one bedroom

apartment. Luckily, Jason had a washer and dryer in his unit.
He was able to wash his sheets for Vanessa, as he wished to sleep on
his couch. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, as it was rare
for Jason to make it to his bed upon bedtime.

Vanessa had been in Vancouver for a good week now, and was
currently staying at a hotel in the West End. They agreed that
it only made sense for Vanessa to stay with Jason, as he had
plenty of room in his apartment. They liked the idea of having
constant company, and enjoyed spending their time together.
Because of this comfort level, they continued to gradually get
to know how to work together in a way that was hard to express.
Their natural bond could not be denied, and it proved easy for
Vanessa to further educate Jason about their plans. This was in
complete relation to bring justice forth for all individuals in
context.

As daylight shone through the window onto Vanessa’s face in

Jason’s bedroom, she was gently awoken. Unaware of the time, as
Jason’s alarm was facing the wall. This caused Vanessa to
quietly laugh to herself. Waking up to laughter always makes
for a fun day, so she decided to lay in Jason’s bed for a bit
longer. She was relaxed, and felt like waking up slow. She was
then reminded of something her father used to say to her:

“Wake up, the world awaits.”

This was a quick way for Vanessa’s father to illustrate how the
world is ours to get; however, the other side is also there,
waiting to interrupt our progress as individuals. Generally
speaking, this is the balance which has existed between good/and

52
evil, throughout our history. People are always willing to
interfere with other people on either side of this binary
opposition. To try to help them, or try to destroy them. This
was a good perspective given to Vanessa from an early age, to
always be ready, that trouble can be lurking around the corner.
It taught her mindfulness, from a young age.

The dichotomy between the two exists in us; however, our

awareness towards it is often ignored. This could be thought of
as analogous to the idea of having a conscience, the inner voice
telling you if you are doing the right thing or not. Some
people live without a conscience, and are unable to understand
the concept. This is because they have no conscience. It takes
a lot to turn this around, as negative experiences tend to build
on each other. This makes it hard for people to realize how
they’re living, and a downward spiral in their being, begins to
form.

Vanessa continued to lay in Jason’s bed, eventually she heard

some water running from what she gathered to be the faucet in
the kitchen sink. In an attempt to take a walk in Jason’s
shoes, she didn’t check the time. The outdated alarm clock
remained facing the wall, beside Jason’s bed. She was uncertain
as to whether Jason checked the time when he woke up. It was of
her interest, as she was curious as to how Jason started his
day. She thought this may allow her to relate to him a bit
better? She also wondered if he waited for the time of the
morning to be a surprise? He seemed pretty liberated, and
assumed time was an insignificant idea to Jason.

She got dressed, and proceeded to walk out of the bedroom door.
It was up to Vanessa to fully shut the door. She did this the
night before, to stop any idea that may have entered Jason’s
mind in relation to any sexual activity that he may/or may not
have been thinking of. Quietly, Vanessa found her way to the
washroom to brush her teeth, and splash some water on her face.

53
“Good morning Jason.”

Vanessa whispered, after making eye contact with Jason.

“Hey, sleepy head. I’ve been up for hours. How did you sleep?”

“Good, thank you, and thank you for the warm hospitality. Your
bed is quite comfortable. The way the sun enters the room as it
rises, is neat. It woke me up actually. I decided to lay in
your bed for a couple of hours. I didn’t want to make any
noise, in case you were still asleep. Plus, I was rather
relaxed. You have a nice home, I feel at peace in it.”

“Thanks, yeah, it’s improved over the years. It wasn’t always

like this. I think I’ve exercised all of the bad spirits out?”

“Hmm.”

“My friend even gave me some Sweet Grass, a Sacrament from his
Cree heritage. It acts as a means to smudge the negative energy
out. It seems to have worked, and the smell is like no other.”

“Yes, I recall the smell as well. So sweet!”

“Yes, I agree. Thing about it though, is it has to be given as

a gift. It is harvested, and weaved to be given away eventually
as a gift. It’s always suppose to be given away. This
illustrates the value of gift-giving, in some cultures. I like
it, it takes the aspect of money away from things.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Do you have an interest in Indigenous life?”

“Yeah, I grew up in a rural community. A lot of Aboriginals

live there, with a lot of reservations surrounding the city. A
lot of inter-racial crime exists between the colonizers, and
those colonized. It never seemed to bother me, while growing
up. I think it affects me now, though.”

“Yeah, the way we were raised definitely correlates to how we

are as adults.”

“I agree, behaviouralism is my main theory regarding this;

although, it’s impossible to ignore the genetic side of it.

54
“What do you think?”

“I think that this is too intellectual of a conversation for a

person to partake in without first having a cup of coffee?”

“Oh damn, sorry, I got lost in our conversation. I got some

coffee beans, and a French press. I’ll make a batch right now.
I need coffee when I wake up as well, otherwise I get grumpy.”

Jason never put much thought towards the idea of his bedroom
door being left open, or closed. He did have a different
concept enter his head, while falling asleep the previous night.
His enlightened mind came to the solution that everybody is so
concerned with dying, we forget to remember that we are actually
alive.

We go on through our day, not wanting to wake up, and

already anticipating going to sleep upon waking up. That is if
our priorities are straight. Some of us have been known to stay
up for a long time, with sleep being an impossible option. This
is no better than wishing to go to sleep once awake, as in both
scenarios the people in question are basically portraying how
they don’t want to live. This is illustrated through their
actions regarding sleep, and the role it plays in our day to day
lives. If we’re so concerned about dying, we better start
wanting to actually live.

This means we go to sleep happy, and wake up happy. It is also

impossible to wake up happy, if we go to sleep with a triggered
mental state. I’ve been told that sleep is the best therapy,
but even some things are extremely difficult to brush off our
backs, or sleep off. In fact, some things stick with us for
years. This tends to involve traumatic experiences, where you
may be the victim/or the one doing the violence. Nobody living has
went a day without sinning, regardless of who you are.
It’s time for us all to take a step back, and realize that nobody is
as holy as we are expected to be by societal standards. This
creates another false reality that we are forced to accept, and

55
act accordingly to. If we fail to oblige to this expectation of
following societal norms, we end up in mental hospitals. That’s the
way society operates, in a nutshell.

For example, I can write about how all the liquor stores should
be blown up, but with nobody inside of them; or, to take it to a
more deranged level, one that would be thought of as a thought
that lacks insight: only have the bad people inside of the
stores.

Because these are thought experiments, I’m able to confidently write

it down without fear of being punished. A fine line exists regarding
this type of thinking, as alcohol seems to be the precursor to every
problem that exists in our world.

In case A: nobody is hurt, but all of the alcohol in the world

suddenly disappears. This could lead to a riot, so it may not be a
good idea. This may create more violence, when eliminating violence
was in fact the original motive.

In case B: all of the bad people in the world suddenly

disappear. This includes people like Mike, people who take
advantage of their position in relation to their relationship to
those who are disempowered. It appears as though a Utopia would come
about, in terms of the previously explained thought experiment.

In today’s world, it’s unfortunately an eye for an eye. It’s no

longer (nor do I believe it ever has been), if we treat your
neighbour as yourself. I believe in being kind, as it
attracts kindness, and in doing so being good to your neighbour
also means you’re being good to yourself. This creates a
positive, upward spiral of action, and happiness is possible.

We’re awfully quick to get caught up in our own problems, only to

further complicate it. It gets further confused, or twisted
through our competitive nature. We need to be on par, or on a
level above those in our path, strictly in honor of Natural
Selection. This can be in relation to our own status, and how
it is usually in straight disrespect, and hatred for our fellow

56
neighbours.

We compete against each other, as we strive to survive as the fittest

in the concrete jungle of an inner city, or the dusty roads of
various rural communities. The population is only going up, and our
resources are still running out, so it better be time to get
friendly. That is, if we want our world to last past another fifty
years?

After reflecting on this for a while, Jason fell asleep. He

dreamt about King Kong that night, and the destruction of
Vancouver. He woke up emotionally charged, in respect to what
their stand would be towards Mike.

An important thing that must be grasped regarding these kinds of

things is, fighting violence with violence is not the answer. This
is not a form of social activism. This adds fuel to the fire that is
spreading into the lives of yourself, and the people you love.
Mike made Jason aware of what substances socialist-Nazi were to take
while under Hitler’s rule. Jason thought this was to make him feel
extra bad about the drugs he used, without being an addict. This
included Clonazepam, which acts a modern form of barbiturates.
Cocaine was initially taken by a large population, with evil
undertones before George Jung. They do share a similarity, killers
of innocent people.

Jesus and Hitler were both Jewish, the former had a bar-mitzvah.
Upon reflection, Jason was uncertain as to whether or not Jesus had
one as well. This must have been after he talked with his elders,
and disappeared from the New Testament. He came back from this
retreat, and was crucified. The Bible (consisted of an Old and New
thesis). The Old Testament is the Torah.

This is up to when the New Testament was introduced, and time was no
longer considered immemorial. The concept of time began with BC and
AD (Anno Domini, and Before Christ) Nazi soldiers, and secret police
were given Amphetamine (a stimulant), and Cocaine. Barbiturates were
also administered to soldiers, to allow their dominance in the
horrendous atrocities that were taken place. This is what enabled
Hitler to gain power over Nazi-Germany.

57
Nazi-Germany was defeated in World War II by the Soviets, with Russia
losing the most troops. Victory Day is celebrated on May 9th, each
year in Russia to celebrate the end of the war. Jason’s friend
loved to talk about the fighter Jets that fly over Moscow in
celebration of this special day in history.

Nazi-Germany was fascist, which is a dictatorship with evil

undertones. This is the opposite of Pacifism, with Socialism leading
to Communism which can lead to Fascism when Anarchy is ignored.
Egalitarianism is the initial concept of socialism. Socialism or
anarchy is food, shelter, and clothing for all.

To fully receive redemption for Jason, and Vanessa, in relation

to Mike and the Canadian government, had Jason stumped. By
joining minds with Vanessa, Jason was certain that they would be
able to come up with a plan to bring some necessary truth to
their status as humans. Anything, possible. World domination
was on the schedule, and Jason was keen on seeing what Vanessa
thought of his ideas?

“You’re telling me we should blow up all of the bad people in

the world, by placing them in liquor stores throughout the
Globe?”

“Well, maybe that would give us some peace of mind, cuz I’ve yet
to find that inner peace people talk about.”

“That’s such a subjective thought experiment. For one, who

decides who goes, and who stays? And how would these people be
lured to their executions at these stores? By being offered
free liquor?”

“Yes, you’re right. Just trying to keep it light, as times

have been heavy. I guess that would be analogous to the
apocalypse. When Jesus returns, to separate good from evil.
Can’t you tell how stressed I am?”

“Yes, you’re stressed. And you know what? So am I. So suck it

up, we got to be as strong in the mental as in the physical, if

58
we even have a chance at making some progress. If we really want
to put up a well planned, intelligent fight against the
corruption that has been slowly crushing you, and me.”

Jason was unsure whether Vanessa was upset with him; however, he
was able to catch this cognitive distortion as soon as it
entered his mind. He told himself to drop it, that it doesn’t
matter what she thinks of you. What matters is that you live up
to your own expectations, and that what other people think is
irrelevant to your own life. Live your own life, is something
that most of us continue to neglect, because of advertisements,
etc,.

This can be summarized as the control system in Western society. In

this train of thought (as opposed to Collectivism), nobody else
matters, except if you’re out there hurting people. This is a bad
philosophy to undertake; however, it is the base of our being (living
in the Western World). Not to say those living in Collectivism
cannot commit horrendous crimes. I believe they would be persecuted
immediately for it, and shunned from their families.

On the reverse side of this, we should be out there helping people,

and not be afraid to live our own lives. We shouldn’t fear
living under the regulation and dominance of our superiors.

This is becoming exceedingly difficult to accomplish, as money

and status continues to alter a lot of our perception towards
conceptualizing power, and how it hurts us through
systems of control. This is illustrated by French Philosopher,
Michel Foucault, in his discussion of the Panopticon.
The Panopticon represents how we are governed in today’s
society. An example of this is how we are constantly under
security surveillance, for instance while walking around in the
downtown core of an inner city.

In Foucault’s dissertation, he relates this to the idea of the

perfect prison, one without guards or bars. A mental hospital
adheres to the same principles, if you would agree?
In this scenario, the prisoners are constantly being watched by a

59
tower that sits directly in the middle of the prison yard. The
guards inside of the tower cannot be seen; however, the prisoners can
either always be seen, or not know when they are being watched. This
creates a state of always being under surveillance, and takes all of
the work out of those in the position of power. In effect power is
placed into the minds of the prisoners, at all times. This acts as
the perfect system of keeping criminals locked up, without needing
weapons or even locks, and keys.

In contrast to this, we’ve been historically subjected to power

through in your face, brutal force. This means public
executions in town squares, where everybody in the community were
invited to the executions. This placed punishment directly before
the eyes of the public, as opposed to the camera surveillance on
intersections, etc,. In this scenario we are still asked to be shown;
however, it is without our knowledge of when we are being watched,
which ideally makes crime go down. Kind of like the concept of
clairvoyance. This acts on us as a means of power and control.
I like to think of it as the all seeing eye, which is often confused
with the illuminati.

Brought back to earth after meeting with a banker, Jason was a

bit less enthusiastic about their plans for world domination.
Instead, he was interested in going to sleep. Vanessa provided
Jason with the company that he had been longing for, for so
long, and it actually was pretty easy for him to refrain from
drinking. He realized that this would be the case prior to this
refreshing burst of friendship happening. It was up to him
to be patient enough. This means he had to wait for it to happen.
The cosmos had yet to align, as Mike remained a free man.
This was discovered when Vanessa suggested that Jason contact
Mike. This was done to see where he was at, so they could
decide their best move in bringing justice forth. It was their
desire to achieve this, without putting their lives at risk. To find
some sort of redemption, something to bring hope to the two amongst
the cruelness that they were subjected to by Mike. This was
manifested in different ways for Jason, and Vanessa. Jason remained
unaware of what happened to Vanessa.

60
It was Vanessa’s desire to keep this quiet, as she assumed that it
would only enrage Jason. It was also in her mind that Jason would
try to intervene on something that was none of his business. Jason
was convinced Vanessa was doing this as an extension to the therapy
he received from her cousin, Lara. This was brought into light by
Vanessa, after spending a couple of nights at Jason’s home.

“So you’re telling me, you’re cousins with Lara?”

“Yes, I am. Yes. We’re very close. A vast amount of knowledge

about your time up North was highlighted to me, and your
discrepancies with the government.”

“God, yes. That place was almost the death of me. There was
nothing but idiocy being shown to me by the people I had to
associate with. When people start walking around in trench
coats, in helicopter zones for no apparent reason. I mean,
these people were there to specifically try and break me into
the psychosis that was so blatantly transcribed upon my initial
hospitalization. I guess, you? You must of had access to some
of those papers?”

“Yes, don’t worry. There’s no shame in running through the

forest naked. Sounds sexy to me, fight the power that be,
right?”

“Oh yeah, you got it. So sexy to exit the forest, only to have
three police officers waiting to clothe, and cuff me. This was
all in the presence of pretty much everybody who was working at that
fire camp. I think I left a bad reputation behind regarding who I
was.”

They were finally able to establish a mood that wasn’t so heat

in nature, one that was light, and neither anxious, or paranoid.
This allowed the two to really relax for the first time
together. Jason had the inclination to relish in the moment
with a cigarette, something he gave up at the start of the New
Year. This proved to be beneficial to his running, and overall
improvement in conjunction to his mental health.

Within the first week of complete abstinence from tobacco, feelings

of depression, etc,. start to fade. At the same time, self-esteem
begins to slowly get better, and an overall huge impact is felt

61
on the individual’s mental health. He didn’t bring up his
desire to have some nicotine to Vanessa, and was able to keep
the feeling at bay. He kept fighting it, and was close to
suggesting that he get a cigar. He also kept this to himself,
as they proceeded to continue their fun conversation into the
evening.

Vanessa was already on the road to redemption, by seeing first

hand how happy Jason was. This was established without alcohol,
he didn’t need alcohol to create this happiness. This brought
forth a greater sense of self-worth towards Vanessa’s own
self-esteem, and acted as a stepping stone in moving in the
right direction regarding her own problems with Mike. As
wished, they were able to begin healing each other. This was
Happening by being in the presence of each other.
The Universe was aligning for Jason, and Vanessa. This meant their
final shot at putting Mike where he belonged was becoming more and
more of an option.

It was getting late, and Jason was fully over the initial
cravings for a cigarette. The thought of tobacco had his head
thinking about cigars for some reason, and he continued to think
about buying a nice Guantanamera, from Cuba (with love).
He was friendly with the owner of the cigar shop that he frequented on
occasion, and was once informed that Guantanamera stands for:
One good day. Or that you’re going to have a good day.

Jason brought this up to his friend one day through email one
day, who was quick to comment on the similarities between the
naming of the cigar and the U.S. detention camp, off of Cuba’s
shore: Guantanamo Bay.

Jason and his enemy saw how the U.S. military was successful
in masking the name of the famous Cuban cigar, with the location
of the military prison. Yes, I’m sure all of the prisoners at
this place are having one good day. Good joke, but not really.
This got Jason thinking a bit more in depth about the
similarities between the two names, and how this could possibly
be used to his and Vanessa’s advantage in fooling Mike. Maybe

62
they could somehow send Mike off to Guantanamo Bay? For good?
Jason shared this wicked, eureka of an idea with Vanessa, and
she was quite pleased with his creativity behind it.

This had Vanessa in a state of brief euphoria, as she explained

to Jason that they could lure Mike to the airport with a free
ticket to Cuba. Jason would have to somehow figure out how to
convince to Mike that he won two tickets to Cuba, and that he
wanted Mike to join him on this all inclusive week at a resort
in Varadero. Jason thought this may snap them out of their delusion
as well, as Cuba is a place of peace and prosperity.

Jason was quick to note that there would be no way Mike would be
able to go a week without his substance, and him being so
delusional from it, he would definitely try to bring some with
him onto the airplane.

Vanessa then slowly realized the opportunity at hand, and shouted out
to Jason how they could change the name of the detention center to
the cigar.

“We can confuse him with the name of the cigar, and the name of
the military prison!”

“Yes, that’s brilliant Vanessa. You beat me to the punch. Hmm,

we could have him say something along the lines of: Going to
have one Guantanamo of a day!”

They both inferred that this would be enough to have him checked
by the U.S. customs, where he would then be caught with
narcotics in his possession. He would then be sent to his
destination, in a drunken stupor. A place he expressed to go to
so adamantly, and that he was going to have at least one good
day at.

This offered Jason some redemption for the fib he was told by
Mike regarding the name of the substance, the chemical that he
got hooked on. Although he was on it for such a short period of
time, it still almost resulted in his death. It sure as hell

63
caused a lot of unnecessary, and unexpected problems in Jason’s
life. His struggle began slowly, but was quick to climax.
Jason suddenly had a problem to solve, luckily he had the
support he could of only wished for already waiting for him.
They were monitoring his safety, to ensure he would be able to
make it to take that first step. He had to intrinsically want
to stop, he couldn’t be forced to, or told that he had to quit
it. If this occurred, the chance of Jason relapsing was much
higher. This is something about the healing process that both
Vanessa, and Lara agreed on.

Jason was reminded of a particular memory between Mike’s fiancee,

and himself. It was a moment that was too good to be true,
where everything you ever believed was proved. This lady, she
liked to play I spy with my little eye with Jason. One night,
while having drinks with the two at Jason’s home, he decided to
play the game. He chose something that left her uncomfortable,
and speechless. A nervous energy came about, and it was evident
that she was being pointed out for her true colours. You see,
Jason made a piece of art based off of a lyric by Mac Miller:

“...And I May Be A Little Arrogant, I’m Aware Of It I Know...”

R.I.P.
January 19, 1992
September 7, 2018

The painting was created by Jason in years past, by dripping

acrylic paint onto an orange piece of cardboard he had laying
around. Jason was inspired to point out one of the letters,
which were painted in red and black.

“I spy, with my little eye, something red.”

The lady was immediately flustered, as she could already

anticipate the outcome.

“Come on, it’s an easy one. You’re pretty much looking at it

right now.”

Still no answer from Mike’s fiance, Jason continued to play with

64
her for a few more moments. He was then embellished in Dharma,
which is Buddhist for truth.

“It’s the letter I.”

PART II

Here we go again. These were the words thought by Mike while crossing
customs into Cuba, and seeing a couple of young hipsters being
detained by border control. Pleased with himself for leaving his
drugs at home; however, upset that he would have to learn to relax
while on vacation without his D.O.C. (drug of choice).

Mindfulness is a sacred act, meaning to remain present in daily

decisions. Jason was more than willing to disrupt the molecular
design of the Universe, although seemingly impossible to understand.
This means he was continually agitated, and was not one with the
Universal Mind. There were moments he was able to relax, or zone
out. For the most part he was a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up
and unintentionally cause trouble towards someone he may, or may not
know. Usually it is the people he did not know who he upset, yet
somehow they knew who he was.

Jason relapsed, and spotted Mike outside of the liquor store. Things
took a turn for the worse, and uncertainty arose regarding his
privacy. It was bad timing for both characters to come across each
other.

“Hey man.”

“Hey Mike I thought, you?”

“Sounding timid there buddy?”

“I thought you went to Cuba?”

“I did, and it was magnificent.”

“Where did you stay? Did you find a nice resort?”

Jason was completely clueless by this point. He wasn’t in fear, but

65
could feel the uneasy anxiety coming through from Mike.

“Yes, it was a good time. A lot of crazy communists down there eh?
Must be right up your alley you Soviet?”

Jason realized his plan to have Mike caught at customs was no longer
a reality, and felt that feeling in the pit of his stomach again.

At this point everything was back to square one, and the idea of
being set free from Mike’s persecution seemed to have failed.

“I got that latte on me if you want?”

“You know I drink my coffee black.”

He refused the drink, as it was as repulsive in his mind as seeing

Mike back in Vancouver. The smell coming from the restaurant was
enough to do this to him. He then wondered how people can be so keen
on recommending McDonald's for coffee? Having a cafe in the
restaurant seemed to serve as a plateau. This acted as a way to
trick customers, in attempt to eat fast food. The first coffee is
good, and just like other addictive substances the first hit is free.

“I was about to go on a run, so I gotta get going. How about we meet

up sometime later?”

“Sounds good Mike, I’ll hit you up at a later date.”

“Hello?”

“Hey Lara, it’s Jason.”

“I can barely recognize your voice, what’s going on?”

“I’m a bit nervous.”

“Let me guess, you met Mike again?”

“Yes, I thought he was caught at customs.”

“I guess they were smart enough to sort out that problem?”

66
“I was shook to see him, and took off as soon as possible.”

This is where Lara realized Jason made his first mistake. By no

longer trying to be friends with Mike, the relationship could take a
turn for the worse. This could be considered a positive, and a
negative. The positive is that Jason finally took a stand against
this criminal. The negative, well, he may come after Jason in a fit
of rage, which could lead to further complications.

“No, you idiot, you continue the communication entirely.”

“Well, we met without any warning.”

“You mean he met you randomly.”

“Yes, and I ran away from his as I was extremely nervous.”

“Yes, nervous to the bone?”

“Yeah, I gotta admit. It has me shook. Are you shook?”

“Nope, do I sound shook?”

“Not really, your voice is as in control and calming as ever.”

“Good to hear, now what was his proposition? Did he get you stoned?”

“No, you know I am drug free. Otherwise we wouldn’t be talking right

now?”

“You’re right, Jason.”

“You know I’m not stoned, nor am I high.”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

“My anxiety.”

“Well calm yourself down my friend.”

“Yes, but you like to drill me about this every single time we meet.”

67
“Because you like to lie about it.”

“Yes, but I promise I’m not this time.”

“Well, I think you’re lying.”

“I guess not!”

Jason replied, as the butterflies in his stomach soon turned to

stone. This created further agitation, and the idea of being free
from all of the past corruption seemed to be less of a possibility.

“Control your temper Jason, you must be stoned?”

“No I am not, and that is the least of my worries. A couple of

things went missing from my home again.”

“Mike is obviously up to something.”

“Well, what should I do?”

“Stay calm and I will come to you.”

Jason was infuriated, as his Buddha statue was turned around, and the
crucifix that was missing was found on the ground. This is when he
found God for the first time, literally. Lara soon came knocking on
the door, as she knew how paranoid Jason may have became.

“Knock, knock, it’s the police.”

“What the fuck do you want?”

Jason replied as he recognized her soft voice immediately. He then

realized it could be another spy, and checked the peep hole. She
looked mysterious, and Jason soon realized she was in disguise. This
was for her own protection.

“How do you know me?”

The woman soon left. About half a hour passed, and further knocking
was heard on his door. This time it was not as soft, and Jason was

68
ready to ride or die. I sat beneath the door, and soon heard a thud
on the entrance to my home, and the words yelling:

“Jason, it’s the police, we need to speak with you.”

The police broke down my door and six officers handcuffed me. I
asked for my rights to be read, and explained how there was no
warrant for my arrest. A female police offered me a cigarette. I
said no to this. The same woman offered me some water, which I
denied. I was then doused in the water, which caused my contacts to
fall from my eyes. A male police of great proportion tried to break
my leg, but I slid out. I was standing tall for about fifteen
minutes, to eventually be put on a stretcher with restrains. Off to
the mental hospital again, or so I hoped?

Unknown to Jason, Emmy was still alive. She had her own surveillance
(cameras, and a mic in Jason’s home), and thought it was perfect
timing to poison Jason’s food. This would be waiting for him when he
was released from the mental hospital. Jason dealt with the
ambulance ride, and feared for his life.

He hoped he would be in the mental hospital for a short amount of

time; however, this was out of his hands. He exited the first unit
quickly, as a female psychiatrist felt he was ready for the next
section of the mental hospital. She was humbling, and treated Jason
with a respect he had yet to experience by a medical professional.
His initial stay in the second hospitalization was welcomed with a
telephone call from a fellow foe.

“Who is this, first off?”

“It’s the Mosquito.”

“What do you want now?”

“Jason?”

“Yes, but no.”

“You mean me? That was our code to let you know who it is?”

“Oh yeah, the rat?”

69
And that was that. Jason was somewhat dissident with what was
happening, and thought it was a crude joke. Jason responded to this
guy again.

“One last time, who the fuck am I?”

“There is only one G.O.D., got it?”

“Not yet, and that should land you here and not I.”

Jason hung up and asked for a piece of Nicotine gum. Everybody was
amazed that he could open the instant coffee packages so easy, and
his ability to drink boiling hot fluids. Some of the staff were
good, and some were bad. Just like in any profession.

He pondered if he would smoke Marijuana upon his release, which was

quickly dismissed to confuse the staff.

Lara decided to call the cops to see if she could make contact with
Jason. She thought of a plan to get him out of the mental hospital,
as she knew the place wasn’t liked by Jason.

The police were proud of Jason for his bravery upon entering the
mental hospital, and decided to jail Mike upon Jason’s release. The
police drove him home, and jailed Mike at the same time. This was to
create perfect balance in the universe. Good go home, bad get
jailed.

I was overwhelmed with my freedom, and impressed with the courtesy

that I received from the two officers. My phone rang as soon as I
entered my home, which made me question the synchronicity at play. I
heard silence on the other end of the phone. He was worried that
Mike was still trying to contact him.

His belief soon kicked in that this would not happen. He started to
worry for his other friends. He ran away to seek refugee.

“Hey, there pal.”

Some humour came across Jason, as it reminded him of running track.

70
“Yes, a lot of laps were run in the foreign mental hospital.”

“Why foreign?”

“Why not?”

“Good satire.”

“I thought you would like the plot.”

“Of?”

“The panopticon.”

“Good humour, once again.”

“Can I please come inside of your home? In desperate need of

company.”

“You haven’t earned it yet.”

“What the coded knock?”

“I’m just joking you idiot.”

“Well, I guess you are the true Ricky after all.”

In reference to time being perceived as to where the Sun is located

in the sky made sense to Jason upon his time as a tourist in Northern
Norway. He had a similar experience when he worked in Northern
Alberta, where/and when the sun hovered around the horizon until it
rose again in the early hours of the morning.

This seemed worthwhile as people of different place had different

realizations (he determined), of where they are positioned in respect
to the sun, and the time being dependent on the specific season.

“It’s really, no yeah not a cry at all, when they lie about stars up
in the sky. Like the ninth brightest and bluest, I’d hope seems fake
to me, like much of what I see.”

71
 Anonymous

Astrology plays a huge part in our foundation regarding Universals

amongst societies/and (or) cultures of non-modern reign. Because of
this, and the shape/structure of where we are positioned in relation
to the stars is relevant when studying ancient horoscopes, or simply
put where you are in position to the sun, and the time of day. Many
constellations are left without any documentation in ancient books of
history, while some are easily (or readily) apparent.

This made Jason question if the initial horoscopes were merely

painted images on hieroglyphics (to be cliche), or if they were
obtaining secret wisdom of the cosmos left to be discovered. Always
a skeptic, Jason was keen on wondering where the true plausibility
lied regarding these momentary lapses of judgment regarding the
ancients. Or were they straight out lies, regarding the position of
the stars in relation to onlookers of different eras. Humans like to
prove what is true false, or to paint a picture black that is meant
to be green (even those who love you).

People liked to control Jason, which he realized was an attempt at

him to not be controlled by society (or the people who hold control
of this concept itself). Being a tourist proved tricky for Jason, as
people in this position are often taken advantage of. Beware of
accents. Because of this, he found little enjoyment while
travelling, and was in dire need to come home to Vancouver.

Although he always heard the most beautiful women come from Norwegian
lineages, it was not enough for him to forget Vanessa. He was over
their initial romance; however, he felt the opportunity that being
engaged in one relationship would transfer to the next. This proved
untrue, and Jason was sick of being the pedestal to a woman’s puppet.

Like most people in Jason’s position, he was tired of travelling (by

backpack), to the airport, from a cab, to a location he was unaware
of, and onto the jet. This was hard on him, as all of this made no
sense as to what the brochure explicitly said would be a place to
find peace of mind.

72
Jason was still entertaining his thoughts of what construed good
behaviour (in the eyes of those already deceased), as his ability to
talk with the dead started to get annoying. He was less concerned
about his identity. He was already well aware that it was looked
down upon. In his eyes, the people who created this false perception
were the guilty ones; however, he still felt a state of un-peace as
he was able to be told on command of where he stood in relation to
making it past purgatory. From what could be collected, those who
commit suicide end up in Hell (in Jason’s opinion). An uncanny thing
about those who commit suicide, is quoted from the movie Beetlejuice:

“I hope it wasn’t yet another of your dreary suicide attempts.”

“You know what they say about people who commit suicide.”

“In the afterlife, they become civil servants.”

“Otho, I didn’t realize you were into the supernatural.”

“Of course! You remember.”

Jason liked this, as he was a servant his entire life. Enough

dishes, enough being told what to do. In this lifetime Jason was
certain he would not commit suicide, as he was straight up sick of
being a laborer. He must have done something right on the last
reincarnation, as he was already retired at age thirty-two.

Any hint from Heaven about Hell seemed way too easy to gain truth
towards. He had the idea of mountains of Cocaine, and poppy fields
full of Opium when making sense of Hell, depending on different
dreams he was having at this particular point of time. I once heard
someone was in purgatory for 1,000,000 years. People in Hell die
from smoke asphyxiation.

In terms of the frank discussion regarding the living, and/or dead,

Jason would often answer in simple mannerisms. To fully understand
(amongst friends), Jason would answer by saying:

“Si, si.”

In Italian.

73
“Si.”

Would equate to a brief yes, as opposed to the complete

acknowledgment of Si, Si (or yes, yes).

“Yes, Yes.”

Is also a code Jason invented for the layman who did not, or did not
want to expand their knowledge of different languages.

Have fun with language!

“Tsii, Tsii.”

Also works (although it was meant to be for females in beginning).

In the end, it would make most sense to condense the code into a
plain true.

Jason realized his soul-mates (which never were), all lacked a soul.
He was left to distinguish whether this was a fault of his, or the
people he surrounded himself with.

Jason had a woman in his thoughts, and he wished for her to have a
greater sense of self-worth towards herself. He hoped she could see
herself for who she is, so that she could see herself for who she is
through his own eyes. Sometimes people see the best in us, or what
we are unable to realize on our own. That’s what a soulmate
represents, and it is impossible to know this until each specific
person in relation to one another is found.

It’s tough to pick yourself up when you’re down in the dumps. Jason
had gained great ground over the years after a battle with anxiety,
and addiction. Because of this he was able to find his purpose in
life as well, to help others with an altruistic philosophy. Living
in an individualistic Westernized society makes it difficult to put
others first, the main reason Jason found it tough to relate to those
in his environment.

Pessimistic by those in his social circle (which was dull, and not
real). This turned Jason into an introvert. Luckily Jason

74
disliked over-hearing conversations, so this proved easy for him to
find his own peace. When he did attend small parties, or holiday
celebrations Jason was always left with no one to talk to, or
anything to say. This is because his acquaintances were dimwits,
with nothing to brag about besides who can be the rudest, or drink
the most liquor. Also, not to be forgot, who can garner the most
attention through idiocy. He often found himself left alone at these
social functions, with little to say or nobody to talk to.

Because of this Jason decided to quit drinking again, and re-focus on

his running goals. He went to a high school track he often
frequented in the morning. He ran track at this time to get his
training done before the kids got to school for class. Nobody had a
problem with this, and he was often on the lookout for who he
perceived to be one of the school-teachers.

She was often dressed in the most colourful of dresses, and what he
believed to be made of silk cloth. Being on the West Coast, it often
rained in the winter, in Vancouver. He also noticed how she seemed
to colour-coordinate her umbrella with her jacket, and other apparel
to stay dry. Jason lacked the courage to come up to someone like
this, as he didn’t really think finding a girlfriend would make sense
for him.

He was most attracted to her when she wore the colour red for some
reason. She was able to walk with the confidence of a woman he had
yet to meet, which gave him the extra push on the last fifty meters
or so of a lap. Jason was quick to realize how what he wants to
illustrate in speech often comes out backwards to what he intends on
saying, so he figured this would happen if he ever approached the
pretty lady with the multi-coloured umbrellas.

He always had the idea to invite someone to one of the social

functions he would occasionally attend; however, he didn’t want to
expose a female to the idiocy of his so called friends. Because of
this he was forced to hang out with delinquents, people his so called
friends disobeyed him from hanging out with.

Being a spiteful person, Jason decided to call Emmy to clear the

75
tension between the two. He also wanted to resolve any animosity
between himself and Mike (as Mike was now in jail). I believe you
have to dial 9-911 to get ahold of the police while in jail.

“Hello?”

“Hey Emmy, long time no talk.”

“Who exactly is this, if I may ask?”

“Sorry, I thought you would recognize my voice. It’s Jason.”

“And what are you calling for? Do you not know that Mike is
currently in prison because of you? And I could be too.”

“Sorry for the disrespect, I really thought you’d recognize my

Voice.”

“Why the fuck would I want to remember your voice?”

“It was a joke, relax. Just calling to see how you’ve been keeping
Up?”

“Well, thankfully I’m not in jail like that dweeb.”

“And?”

“Yes, I thought you would get at this quick. I’m very pleased, and
thankful for what you did. Mike was a punk from the start, and he
deserves all of the punishment he is currently receiving.”

“Yes! I thought you would come around, and see the light.”

“Well, it only took about eight hours of interrogation. Just like

that Wire show you like to talk about so much. Well, it went just
like that. But we didn’t get a cig, or any junk food.”

“Well, I guess you should be thankful you’re not imprisoned as well?”

“Yes, yes, good job, you must do nothing but run and watch T.V.”

“Nah, that’s not my style.”

76
“Ci.”

“Not fully understood?”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“Thanks, though.”

“For what?”

“Oh you fuck, I am obviously trying to fuck with you. Do you know
the concept of an icebreaker?”

“Yes, like when you break all of your cash and savings on ice?”

“Fuck off.”

“Fair enough.”

Jason heard silence, and assumed he made a good enough effort at

maintaining a friendly disposition with the people he seemed to have
Bothered.

If nobody knows of your accomplishments does it still maintain its

value? Is value subjective to the individual, or something that
needs to be highlighted by others to give it its merit? Like an
award for being yourself?

Sometimes, people can be extremely negative, when in the face of

adversity. As issues develop they must be broke to create a clean
slate, and to be able to fully rise above like a Phoenix. Jason
fully understood this, and was now able to tackle anything in his
path. He had newfound confidence in his mind, meaning nothing could
defeat his will.

As with one thing, the other also always seems to have to be brought
into focus. What is left, without a right, or up without a down?
This is a great analogy to coming down from drugs, or going up on
them. With one comes the next, this is a Universal which has existed

77
throughout the Universe, since time immemorial.

Time immemorial can be thought of as a time before time was measured,

this was before Jesus was crucified and brought to his death. Jason
always found it funny, how in the West we are keen on using this date
as the focus of our calendars while those in the East do not use this
to measure time. This is so, as they have their own way of measuring
time. This is because of secularism, and different beliefs; or,
paradigms im creation.

Time began two millenniums ago, and it is unruly that this is the way
we look at things. Before this, people had other ways of keeping
track of how the days went by.

Jesus is not the son of God, rather an idea of fabrication that is not
true. Jesus was brought to trial, because he was a delusional person
who liked to cause havoc to people in Israel; as opposed, to being the
saviour. He was used as a figure for the Romans to gain control over
other governments and their systems of control. This was possible, as
Jesus did not ascend to Heaven after three days of being asleep in a
Cave. He was probably off partying with his Apostles, prior to his
death. This happened when he was crucified.

Jason was trying to make sense of this.

“Yes, you are getting close to an answer.”

Lara was taking Jason’s blood pressure one morning while he was
hospitalized, and the two were having a conversation so Jason could
understand.

“So, if Jesus is not God, who is God then?”

“It’s up to you.”

Lara was a great listener while Jason was hospitalized, and knowledge
was easy to pass on to one another because they were both very
attentive, and courteous to each other. This created a stable
environment, and a positive aura was granted to enable some healing
in a very negative place.

Jason decided to give up on his friends, as they meant nothing to

him. This granted Jason freedom he had yet to feel, and is not to be

78
considered a bad thing. He decided to have a conversation with his
mind to bring into light the pros and cons of his current role in
society.

This could be considered the opposite of mindfulness, or being

present. In fact, it is actually the exact definition of being
present or mindful.

Being mindful doesn’t mean you black out your mind, it means you bring
into focus what is important to the person while ignoring annoying
distractions.

Who cares about friends, they only need you when you depend on them.
Or when they need something, live a favour, for you. This is in
opposition to family/or blood, when you are of the greatest
importance, regardless of your shortcomings. Give or take, you can
annoy your family to the end of the world, and have them say they
hate you in response. Which is also true with friends. So, there
must be a balance between this and life itself.

Like when we think of a balance between good and bad, some people can
pretend to be good while being bad; however, this is held in
disproportion to the strength of those acting good.

Let’s be poetic, I’ll be the eyes you see the world through.

What exits is the turmoil, and baggage our receptors hold, and what
remember what goes on in life when faced on a centerfold. How would
you decide if you had to hide, a badge of being badgered. Inside. To
wake up to a stranger, with anger, but to not know the danger. The
pillow test had everybody at unrest, could you sleep? Or be my guest?

This went into contrast with her son’s reputation as a runner in

Vancouver, where he, and his family were directly targeted.
Scapegoat or not, his mother still supported him through the rumours
that persisted regarding his identity.

79
She had to bend many an opinion, to let the public not see what was
proposed by society in Vancouver, and their blatant disrespect for
him as a person. That which then went against this was left to
riddle (and your own motives).

Jason was on the receiving end of ridicule. Even while he was

asleep, or slept. He would continually have night terrors where he
dreamt of what was to happen, to only wake up and experience it
transpire. In these moments, he was quick with his tongue (and wit),
and was good at reflecting back the karma he was so intrusively
receiving.

One night while trying to fall asleep, someone stumbled into his
consciousness. He wanted to see what kind of character Jason was
made of. Having Jason’s mind so open to welcoming strangers into it,
this was nothing out of the ordinary. Unable to fall asleep, the man
in question brought up the idea of Russian Roulette. He questioned
Jason in regards to his knowledge of the game, and was left with a
proposition. If Jason could keep up with his bad attitude of playing
death while falling asleep, he would earn street cred with the
fellows playing the game. Playing death meant being the referee in
this description of actions, and he had to count who was in and out.
There was one bullet in the pistol, and they each had a turn at it.
There were six players, and one would end up dead. In the end, it
went like this: BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, SHOT. The last player
was destined to lose out, and had to commit suicide. What was of
less importance, was the money he put towards the pot.

The nutcracker was also after her, now I’m here and give two fucks
about beer.

I’d rather have her speak to me again, in contemplation of what might

have been.

A slow suicide drinking juice and gin, with a bit of methamphetamine

in, our blood.

Until we end up somewhere dead, as the Nutcracker fucked up our heads.

As the nutcracker fucked up our heads, I yelled for her to keep up as

we ran.

80
But the man caught up to her and took her back in, I told her as I
took off to stay strong.
And it won’t be long until you get out, even though I knew it wasn’t
true.

If they took me too it would be construed, by the nutcracker to

separate us.

So I knew that moment I had to bust, and trust I’d have her in my arms
again.

But she became deceased upon release, an overdose as she couldn’t find
peace.

So I placed a piece against my temple, as everyone but her shunned my

mental.

All of the shit that’s inconsequential, and pulled the trigger and now
I’m much bigger.

And the nutcracker is all I’m after, as I had nothing left to lose but
laughter.

Anonymous

Save a soul, or a momentarily second for someone enslaved. Coming

back we see people from Heaven on the clouds so high, telling us all
is good; however, they are quick to crack down on your soul if you’re
not living up to your own expectations according to the specific
society, and place. Jason felt the backlash of society, and his
friends throughout his existence.

They always looked up to each other in their youth, although not the
same age. They never knew when one was entering a problem, or out of
the other. This was in respect to their social settings, and
placings in society.

By stopping these apologies, he was able to ascertain what was of

value, or importance to his identity regarding his confidence levels.
People could get the best of Jason; however, he was still a bit
unset, or uncertain as to where he shall lay in relation to those of
higher prestige, or power.

81
Always nervous when around those he respected, Jason was quick to act
apologetic, and raise concerns that held no relation to those in
Context.

This led to feelings of self-degradation, and a lower self-esteem

came forth. Ava was there to settle him into some good company.

“How’s it going?”

A day of time ago she said to Jason after he was done lacing up his
shoes to jog home from his solo track practice.

“I see you here a lot in the morning, was wondering what’s your
Story?”

A bit uncertain in regards of how to proceed, Jason felt her dominant

presence come through and felt her to be a person of authority.

“I’m good, am I causing a disturbance to the school?”

“No, I just see you here all the time, and am wondering what is up
with you? Don’t you have a team to train with, or something?”

Jason was left at a stupor, as he always remembered the lady with the
colorful umbrellas uphold a charisma much more charming.

“No, not for me.”

“Why’s that?”

“They took the goodness out of it for me, I guess you could say.”

“Bad coaching?”

“Or no coaching at all.”

“Kinda, a gong show?”

“If that’s the way you would word it, then yes.”

82
“I know what you mean, anyway, you’re an inspiration to some of the
students who see you running in the morning. The ones who get up
early like you, the few who come to school to train in the morning as
well.”

“That’s cool.”

“You seem to be doing pretty good for yourself. What’s the point of
it, anyway?”

“To keep myself motivated on what’s important in life, and keep

things in line, you know?”

“Yeah, like a closet case coke head?”

“Wo, that’s pretty hard to come from a teacher, I assume? You must
be stern with your classes, in how not to approach a stranger.”

“Yeah, I guess I overdid it, like I usually do.”

Jason could see the sunlight coming in through the North-Eastern sky,
and realized it was his time to go, as he completed a successful
Fartlek training session.

“Well, good bye.”

“Good, bye.”

Because of his recent release from the mental hospital, Jason was
used to being on the short end of the stick. He chalked this
conversation up with the rest: pointless.

Being freed from a mental hospital like this allowed Jason to come to
grips, or terms, with the world that responded in his reaction to
that action. With one thought, comes the next, and people are often
on guard to defend their own thoughts against competing ones that
seem to be overwhelming or too rule based in existence.

This creates a constant state of being on guard, making it difficult

to relax amongst those Jason admired, and even those he did not care
to know, or associate with had him on edge as well. Words are words,

83
they fluctuate through our consciousnesses when connected without a
delay in time, and often can lead to a concerning reality to those
who do not understand those involved.

We are our worst critics, to hear music through another’s ears, and
the sensory perception of their brain, and no bias, we could begin to
see how truly amazing we are as people. A lack of confidence can
lead to the desire to want to quit it entirely because we want to
give up.

Okay real relaxed, thinking without flailing from task to task.

Perception is not always what we believe, or conceive it to be
without feeling so free. LIke waking up in the morning could be hard
or easy, depending on who’s rooting for you or wishing you to be
sleazy. In the end you gotta give what you take and not be greedy.
Stick to what you know, like a beat or a bro, which means you’ll soon
know which fate is foretold. Sometimes it’s tough to explain what’s
penetrating my brain, can I finish she said, and dumped him with red
blood shed eyes from a joint rolled so unwell it was not worth it.
Like a special agreement made to cut the air between me and you.

By stopping these apologies, he was able to ascertain what was of

value, or importance to his identity regarding his confidence levels.
People could get the best of Jason; however, he was still a bit unset
or uncertain as to what he shall lay in relation to those of higher
prestige. This led to feelings of self-degradation, and a lower
self-esteem came forth. Ava was present to settle him into some good
company, and get those feelings of worth come forth once again.
I wonder what I need to remember? Old friends from Christmas homes,
or funneling twelve beer in a dormitory in September. Some movements
appear worthless, while others obtain meaning through their worth.
This relays down to any relation depending on the person in context,
and their personal views. Why waste your time being unhappy?

Jason was reminiscing on his time at the mental hospital, and the
daily chore of eating slow, without dropping a morsel onto your
plate. As with drinking water, he was ordered by the staff to not

84
make a mess. If this were the scenario, less privileges were granted
to the patients. This means if Jason were to want to have a
cigarette after his meal (be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner), he
would have to first perform a successful meal. The approach before
this was to teach the patients/and or inmates their manners, and to
be rewarded for good behaviour.

Already a pro at chugging water, it was relatively easy to pass the

water test with little setbacks. On the other end, he was always a
fast eater, so eating his meals in a slow demeanor often left him in
a struggle. This threw off his bio-mechanics, as his flow while
eating was one with grace, and rather quick. By slowing down his
movements, he was more prone to miss a piece of food in his mouth.
He was successful at the eating portion everytime he approached it,
as a cigarette was always a good reward for eating slow.

Seems easy enough to the average person; however, Jason worked in a

lot of positions where they had to eat quick at break. Because of
this, he developed the mechanics, and form to eat quick with a lot of
stress in the head. He also consumed his meals so quick, because he
always looked forward to a cigarette after his break/meal.

While hospitalized, Jason often wondered what Heaven would be like in

regards to handling issues such as land available, and food to eat,
etc,. Also, as he was currently held behind his will at said mental
hospital, it was of his curiosity whether Heaven had police, and
mental hospitals as well.

Using his rationality, he concluded that if those in Heaven were able

to make it there, and stay there, there would be no need for having
these systems of control in place, and a pure Utopia would be the
resulting outcome.

That was enough pondering the Heavens for the time being, and was
curious to see how he could direct his life in ways to make it more
of a likely answer that he would be let in. No one is perfect, so he
was still in the process of bettering himself through helping others
out. In his mean time, he would keep to himself, and cause no
trouble/or harm to the society he was familiar with.

He had a dream where a friend of his said if he drank, he would

85
commit suicide. Jason woke up in a sweaty fright, and remembered
buying the beer, but not whether he drank it or not. This put him
in a position of great guilt, as he felt that he would be thought of
as responsible for the death of a friend. This stirred the
motivation to get sober again. He was determined to get back on
track, and regain his sobriety.

He always figured of Anarchy as resembling a flat line, with no

hierarchy up or down in the form of a pyramid. Our humanity, and its
history was imagined, and how in the past egalitarian ways of life
were more common. This meant for a more collective society, as
opposed to the individualistic Western one Jason was familiar with.
To further his hypothesis of Heaven, he realized centuries ago, or
eons even, people were at a greater level of enlightenment and were
more prone to concepts such as love, and forgiveness. This is not
science, but were his own beliefs as to how the world got into the
shape it is in today. Carbon emissions are only a century old or so,
and we already have a depleting ozone. Our aquarium is starting to
leak into the Universe. In today’s world, the opposite seems to
rule, and the world is coming to a stand still regarding resources,
and a population that is exponentially growing.

The idea of Earth being flat, is one of the most ingenious ideas to
ever be considered in the history of humankind. Jason had a dream,
in which he was in Heaven, and it was in fact flat. In relevance to
how people once lived when Earth was considered flat, Jason concluded
it was easier to translate from Heaven to Earth because most went to
Heaven in a sense, as opposed to today’s standard. So, if Earth was
once considered flat, it was Jason’s premonition that his dream of
Heaven was true.

Mercy was a concept Ava was fully aware of. She was thought of as a
peacekeeper in society. Ava, served the city as a police officer.
She worked at the school as a representative of Families Against
Meth. She saw Jason run track on numerous occasions, and always felt
a strange energy about his character. She figured he had something
to hide, and was less concerned with his running in opposition to how
he was as a human being.

86
Ava was a part of the program, as she was once addicted to the
brutal, life ruining substance known as Crystal Methamphetamine. Ava
was able to defeat this health-issue, with support from counseling,
and her family. The outreach program offered to the students at the
school, was put together to inform the youth of the dangers
associated with this dangerous drug. Ava was a proud representative
of the VPD, and a miracle story showing how anybody can do something
considered negative, and still become a positive person in the world.

Jason noticed how the lady he kept seeing in the morning had an
umbrella; however, it was not raining. He didn’t think she was an
ordinary school teacher, as she was yet to be seen on the campus
until the past few weeks. She was never dressed as a school teacher,
rather looked like a social worker who was there for a specific
purpose. They continued to keep a distance from each other. She
came across as a kind individual, sort of like a social butterfly.
Eccentrically dressed with colours like green, and yellow, made her
appear to be a very outgoing person, and most likely a public
speaker. No negative connotations came across from him, or from her,
to him.

It became apparent that society was tough to deal with on its own,
and he would defeat himself in the end. This was unless he got his
act together. He was aware that there were many ways for different
individuals to come to a sense of peace, with the ruling factors (in
his opinion), being non-judgment, and the main goal to eliminate
suffering. However, and in whichever religion, or culture this is
achieved is up to the person. No two people are the same, so how one
individual achieves peace in contrast to another is up to that
person. This is called individualism. Some people dribble a
basketball with great ease, and can pass the ball around like a point
guard would. The bigger players are not as adept at this, so they
are sometimes put into position beneath the basket. In this role,
they are able to grab rebounds, block shots, and score points at
ease.

Jason thought of this, as he remembered his High School Regionals for

basketball in the small town of Humboldt, Saskatchewan. Here he was
stuck with a mis-managed team, and little support to reward his skill
at the game. Point being, his coach did not have a clue of how to
coach, and had him stuck in a place where he did not find peace. He

87
hit Jason, in a tournament game. This was because Jason injured his
lower back, and he said he was unable to go on. He was adept at
handling the basketball. This was in his senior year of basketball,
at the Humboldt gymnasium. The highway from North Battleford to
Humboldt is one known for its share of motor-vehicle crashes which
have lead to fatalities.

When Jason was in his rookie year on the team, they lost to the
Humboldt Wildcats on their home court. They were leading by nineteen
points in the first half, and failed to hold onto their lead. This
was due his coach’s inability to play the players who were meant to
be on the court.

Drinking should be banned, as with Meth. It is bad, period. Alcohol

has caused more road incident deaths than any other murder weapon,
since the automobile has been invented.

If we could only see through this flaw in our systems of justice, our
state of being would improve. On the same token, there are just as
many deaths caused from second hand smoke as first. This does not
gain enough attention by societal standards.

People would no longer be left in the dark regarding these issues, if

more awareness was raised regarding these issues. This would work if
parents who had children, were disallowed to smoke. At the same
time, if the death penalty was offered for drinking and driving, the
number of tragedies would also decrease. Why partake in something so
debilitating, when all we know are the true in your face horrors of
these atrocities.

A cultural misconception about drinking, and driving is that it is

tolerated in rural communities without its acknowledgment. Dense,
populated centers see through this, and drinking and driving is not
condoned. Numerous deaths, with booze being the killer leave crosses
and roses as reminders on gravely roads, and other highways.
Jason realized this about North Battleford. He was shocked at the
number of people who got drunk at Franklin’s funeral, and continued
to drive home without a seed of remorse on their breath. He chalked
this up as pure ignorance, and assumed the people who resided in the
town knew better.

88
-

Lara told Jason about a game she configured would work well with him
in the mental hospital. When bored, and watching the minutes tick
away until the next meal, it is easy to get trapped in the inner
conscience of one’s mind.

You are too apologetic to get this, she once told him as a warning,
as she knew he would always try to cheat and find a way of winning
without it being discovered.

This proved the weaker telepathic thinkers to be weaned out, as this

game only lasts minutes, and demands complete trust in the ESP of
each player. It serves as a test of where your senses are in
relation to your delusion. The game is tic-tac-toe. The main
concept is to choose either, x, or o, and play the game in each
player’s mind without cheating, and talking to yourself (which is
something naive people tend to do). If you can manage to win a game
without being too abrupt regarding who put which symbol where, and a
different winner is appointed regularly, your inner dialogue with
your friends gains respect.

Choose a letter, okay, x. Now choose a position. Top right. Okay,

your turn. The other player could say middle right, and block that
passage down. In a similar manner, they could choose top left, and
try their luck with their know-how on that line (or diagonal).
In this experiment, the first player would be fruitful to pick right,
center, which the other player reluctantly forgot to choose. Now
it’s on the other side to try their luck at this game of strategy;
however, their chances of success are limited due to their initial
play. Now, they decide to regain their play by picking bottom right,
to block the straight line going down. This idea of mental
tic-tac-toe could go on until a winner is deemed; however, I think
the boredom of a mental hospital is now well justified.

How about a killer so remarkable, that everybody has to do it just to

get by. If you could conceive of this thought experiment, there
would be less destitute people roaming the face of our planet. The
idea goes like this, if you do Meth, you have to kill the person who
got you on it, and if you pass it onto another, they have to kill you
next. If all else fails, we can rip the horses eye, and all shall

89
live forever, free, from these burdens of addiction.

Although this is a harsh scenario to envision, one could gather that

the drug itself would no longer exist, because of this, (this is his
sis), all of the bad people would dissolve. This would correlate to
Mike, and pretty much everybody living in North Battleford (or The
Battlefords). Without this judgment, the drug continues to rule our
livelihoods.

Innocent people are left to the mercy of those who sell, and those who
do it for recreational purposes. This; however, there is a point in
the drug use where the masked idea of it being a recreational thing
fades, and the horrors of it as seen through a less diluted eye come
forth.

This is exceptionally true when friends intervene with friends who

are using the substance, and the friend who is using it gets
completely ripped apart for their health problem. This is done
without respect to each individual person, and usually has hero
status surrounding the people (or person), who got the user to get
off of the drug completely.

This does not happen overnight, and a feud amongst friends and
families begins, with layers upon layers upon layers of lies and
deceit overpowering the fact that the person in question is actually
the one who is sick and in need of help. Not an onslaught of
rumours, and lies which trail the next until the victim is left
helpless, and the police are only left to intervene.

Curses be curses, not to be brought to light, but one must forget

these things to begin again with a life that is bright.

It’s sad when things get so into the gossip jar, that society on a
frontal level starts to take notice, and said ideas of each
individual get transmitted. This could be done through any means,
but one comes to mind that is of most importance. Without stating
the actual curse, so it finally does die, innocent people are
brainwashed into thinking Meth (in this case), is okay to do, because
of specific advertising campaigns relating to said user. Jason felt

90
his ultimate redemption, when the curse was reversed upon seeing
himself through his turmoil.

Nobody can be perfect, but some can be pretty perfect looking. Lara
was complemented by this in the most ordinary way, by a stranger
while riding the public transit in Vancouver. The B-Line is well
known amongst residents of the city, and anybody who has rode any
mode of transportation knows how unruly the setting can become. The
B-Line is a well known bus that runs across the city, and can be free
if you hop on through the back doors. Known for its crowded nature,
it is a place of great friction, making it annoying at the same time.

This inappropriate comment from a stranger was meant to be a

one-liner, to sink, and catch her attention. Being strong-willed, she
Empowered herself, by ignoring him. This is how she solved her
problems with people like this, by taking a silent stance; however,
there were moments when she had to take a stronger stand, and have to
resort to different measures. This included asking for help, or going
to the authorities for further assistance.

Lara was on the way to work, at a mental hospital in Vancouver. This

is where Jason was hospitalized, and recently released from (with the
help of Lara acting as a supportive/regular nurse on the mental
hospital). She was slightly annoyed by the stranger’s comment,
because a couple of the men at the mental hospital also liked to flirt
with her.

Lara was relaxed when she entered the facility by a slogan she
Thought of, which was up and front in the doorway to the building:

Time to take care - is what I hear - cuz what I hear - is people care

Anonymous

She was proud of this original cliche type of motivational phrase, and
the manner she was able to make it come alive through one of the
mental hospitals weekly art sessions. One of Lara’s female friends
who was currently hospitalized had a quote she also created. Sasha
was a complicated, spiteful, stubborn lady. As a result She liked to
get drunk on her day passes from the mental hospital. This always

91
resulted in lengthening her time as a patient at the mental hospital/
This did not bother her, as She found the mental hospital to provide a
relaxing atmosphere. The reason for this was Sasha was using the
mental hospital as a hotel, and had nowhere else to go to after as She
was homeless. She was also known to smoke weed on these day passes
which always impressed the staff, as they were jealous
that they were unable to get high as well.

Sasha was too timid to undertake any kind of art whatsoever on her
own. Because of this She asked Lara to make it into something of her
own, and without any recognition to herself. Lara insisted that
Sasha was brave enough to undertake this on her own. She understood
her motivational quote about the Universe:

Until The End Of Time

And Time Doesn’t Even Exist

Anonymous

Lara asked Sasha what the underlying theme behind this was, and her
answer was simple, to be present.

Sasha was quick to comment on her time in the mental hospital in the
most optimistic of ways, and Lara was always had a great ear to
listen with. She asked her to go on and explain what She meant by
being present.

“You suck, oh you fuck, I mean, sorry it’s my schizophrenia acting

up. Just jokes, you know it’s just a label. You do believe in
labelling theory? Have you ever noticed how hope is in the undertows
of the word schizophrenic?”

“Nope, not sure what you mean?”

“Ahh it’s just the way my brain works, it doesn’t really matter.”

“On the other question, yes, Sasha, I recall our conversation about
your theories the other day. Is labelling theory about how once you
are told you are something, that label sticks with you until the end
of time, kind of like the quote you were asking assistance in
creating a new piece of art out of?”

“Yes, unfair, but true. Yeah, I’m kind of in a spiteful mood right

92
now, and don’t think my energy would transfer into artwork
appropriately.”

“That’s okay, maybe when you feel better.”

“Hmm Hmm.”

Lara caught Sasha looking out the window, and asked Her what was
grabbing her attention. Right away she remembered the Sunday paper
from the prior week, and the slogan which read:

A Message From God

It is here where a church in the skyline of the backdrop of the Rocky

Mountains, seemed to have vanished into thin air. It was the talk of
the town, and had everybody believing in a Higher Power again. The
sink holes also were no longer to be seen.

“Oh well, you can’t win all of the battles. I don’t take too kindly
to those kind of swear words, and accusations though Sasha. I know
you’re just trying to bring me up, so I won’t take offence. This one
time.”

One was in reference to a somewhat serious, yet forgiving attitude.

“If time doesn’t even exist, and it’s until the end of it, I guess
you got to learn to suck it up a bit.”

“Nah, they have it backwards you see. There is absolutely nothing

wrong with me. I even wrote an essay on it in University. This
theory would put this entire mental hospital’s staff in utter
confusion.”

“Well, there are a couple stubborn men who work here.”

“And women, don’t think they are always so swell as well.”

“Yes, one should not be gender biased when contemplating things that
last until the end of time.”

Lara was fully aware of what Labelling Theory encompassed, and was on

93
Sasha’s side in its totality. This also contradicted the role, and
beliefs of Herself working as a nurse in a mental hospital word.

They had a joking relationship, which was similar to the one she
shared with Jason in previous mental hospital stays. She realized
they were completely absorbed in the moment, and was about to bring
this up to Sasha in relation to her topic of being present.

“Do you consider the conversation we are having as being an example

of being present? Is this what your quote you desire to translate
into art is about?”

“Yes, yes, exactly. Having fun, while being lost in conversation.”

Do you know what an animal would say if they were asked what time it
is, and if they could speak back to you in your native tongue?”

Jason pondered this for a moment.

“Oh you know me, those Delirium tremens and I get along just fine.”

“They say practicing art can help heal the body of stress, and pain.
Maybe diving into some artwork would help heal some of those
problems. It’s never too late to shake that sarcastic/and/or
spiteful attitude you represent so straight.”

“Yes, yes, you are right. I fully understand where you are coming
from. Thanks for the reality check.”

People on government assistance, such as welfare or disability should

not do drugs. To Her it establishes the redundancy of tax dollars of
honest living Canadian citizens. From her vantage point those living
on welfare, or with a disability should be clean, role models for the
rest of society to look up to. People with these identities are
always looked down upon in society, as the middle, and upper-class of
Canada is held in some sort of higher esteem because of their desire
to be thought of as a superior species. We are all Homo sapiens.
Lara begged to differ, upon a discussion while taking Sasha’s vital
signs one morning while in the mental hospital. She was shaking,
which always caused all of the other staff members to come down on
her with judgment. A common question asked is whether they have been
eating, or if they have had a bowel movement.

94
This is their answer to everything, and gets rather annoying after
hearing the same lame questions over, and over, and over again.
Unique to something else, someone else would be thinking. Thoughts of
suicide were always asked. Whether she thought it was on Her to do
it, or if society was pressing her mind to the point that it was no
longer worth it to live.

The frequent question asked by the hotel staff in mental health mental
hospitals is whether or not they hear voices. Sasha liked to mess
with the nurse’s heads on occasion, and would pull the occasional
joke. Her go to phrase was always,

“Only those outloud.”

An ancient technique passed down through generations by those living

on the dark side of things was how to instill fear into the minds of
those in a submissive position. Kind of like those on welfare, or
disability. Another thing that is relevant is that people on
disability are not nearly in the same position as those on welfare,
as those with a disability live with a disability. This could
be a mental illness, or a physical ailment.

Something else that most of average society don’t understand, is that

those living with a mental illness, also suffer from addiction
issues, and vice-versa. If people could grasp the concept that the
two go hand in hand, the stigma towards each would lessen, and a more
empathetic attitude towards why they are on these programs and unable
to work would come about.

Sasha recalled a conversation with another patient while in another

mental hospital, who was dying from Cancer. It was this courageous
woman who opened Her eyes to the fact that those living with a mental
illness get treated unfairly by society as their symptoms are in the
head, resulting in a lack of care by those who stigmatize those in
this position.

In Jason’s opinion those living with mental illness are stigmatized,

as opposed to someone suffering from Cancer. Mental Illness does not
get portrayed in the same light as those suffering from a Physical
Illness.

95
-

Those with mental illness are often targeted by doctors who act as
bad people who try to combat energies into the bodies of those being
chosen by the people in positions of power. They try to take your
gravity from you, and make you feel to be suffering from mania.

This is done merely to get them into a mental hospital, where the end
goal is to weaken the individual to a condition of vulnerability
where they are once again subjected to the ruthless nature of a
mental hospital. Sasha assumed this was done to keep people
employed, while further ruining the lives of innocent people living
with a disease.

There is in difference between being nervous, having a panic attack,

Or dying. To summarize this in an eloquent way, Sasha often listened
to Jimi Hendrix to calm her being. In Sasha's opinion, the song Manic
Depression illustrates how the idea of mental illness is one created
by delinquents (or health practitioners) to sabotage the lives of
those unique, or with a different perception on life.

“Manic depression is searching my soul”

R.I.P.
November 27, 1942
September 18, 1970

This Jimi Hendrix lyric was one of Sasha’s favourites in response to

the idea that mental illness doesn’t necessarily exist. This is
proven in certain culture(s), or societies where it doesn’t appear in
the history of their ancestry or present place in our world. In her
eyes, you could search her soul forever and there would be nothing
wrong with her, except what society has placed on her.

Her father tried to discipline her when She was a child. This was in
regards to her disrespect for honouring his identity. She would
constantly use another voice when speaking to him, and pretend to be
other people.

Sasha was a brat, and often stood in opposition to her father. She
exemplified this act of imposing by dressing up as other genders with
makeup that would portray this as either a boy or girl. As an
adolescent, of fourteen years of age She was getting into alcohol,

96
without her Mother’s permission; however, her Father did not take a
stand against this. This enabled Sasha’s mother further her ability
to play mind games against her husband, further enabling her daughter
to drink in disrespect to her Mother. Her Father would drink, leaving
Sasha’s Mother to be the sole parent able to discipline their
daughter. This angered Sasha’s Mother, leaving Sasha to impose on Her
father with an innocence that Her parents could not understand. This
is because of their ignorance towards her, and her adolescence.

This is what spearheaded Sasha’s parents to place her into

counselling, and eventual entrance into the psychiatric world. Sasha
continued to change her look, while imposing by doing impersonations
that were somewhat entertaining; however, the redundancy of it drove
her Mother crazy at times. Her Father lessened his discipline, while
transferring the parental role to her Mother. This is because his
alcoholism worsened, and he gave up on what was of importance. His
daughter.

Sasha took after her Mother, as she was able to manipulate her
Father’s mind with mind games where she would get him to spend money
excessively on jewellery, etc,. This was an act of grinding that
should not take place, as children often see this in their parents and
realize it is how a family should not relate to each other.

In another view, it is possible for children in a family to see

through this, and re-train their parents to realize this is not a
healthy way of life. In this instance, the children act as the ones
responsible, and the parents end up in the Mental Hospital.

Jason missed the mental hospital he was previously a patient at, and
wanted to visit it again. In contrast to this, he felt amazing in
opposition to what society believed. In his opinion, the mental
hospital was great for his mind, body, and soul. It was also good to
have free rent, and shelter for forty days.

He remembered he had water boiling on the stove while he was driving

the mental hospital. Due to his laziness he decided to let it boil
into nothing. This proved delusion was present, and he should still
be in the mental hospital.

He soon came to terms with his mistakes, and jumped back on the wagon
for the last couple of weeks after relapsing a few days after his
departure from the mental hospital. Beer no longer served as a

97
gateway to other drugs, so Jason felt it was safe to drink without any
possible negative outcomes. He felt a calmness in his soul after
drinking a six pack.

He realized that he would not be able to get into the mental hospital,
and came to the conclusion that it was more important to make sure his
house wasn’t on fire. While driving home from the mental hospital a
specific song came on the radio which reminded him of this place. It
was tough to listen to, as he was brought back into a negative trance
after seeing the hospital again. It is this which made him realize
that it would be unwise to make a second attempt at making another
voluntary stay at this place.

This reminded him of his time institutionalized, and made him even
more infuriated with his wife. This was because she forgot to tell him
that his bills were due. A good example of a way to get into a quick
fight. This time he wouldn’t allow her to step a foot into their house
again, as they were divorced and she was the one to pay the bills this
month.

They ended in peace, but peace did not prevail in her eyes as she
hated him so much that she was on the verge of killing him. His wife
hated when he would speak up for her, because she was such a strong
individual. This was because every man she ever got into a
relationship with cheated on her, with brutal disrespect. It ended
in a tear jerker on all fronts whenever the two were seen together,
and this just couldn’t go on. Because of this she said she hated him
to death, and even got a restraining order against him to ensure
there would be no violence as she knew he could act as an punk on
occasion.

Jason was already aware of her malicious ways, and anticipated she
would try something like this on him. He was paranoid while driving
home that she would be there, waiting for him inside with a knife.
He had the locks changed, but he was unsure whether or not he locked
the door. There was still a chance that she could be waiting inside
waiting for him to get home.

He then realized this was a figment of his imagination, and it would

98
be impossible for such a sweetheart to act in a way so devious
towards someone he admired. This was his delusion which was still
not fully worked out, which he credited to his stay at the mental
hospital. In fact, he believed the mental hospital is what caused
his delusion.

These were imaginary thoughts which were false. Jason drove into his
driveway without any paranoia, except if he forgot to turn the oven
off. His thinking was obviously off, as he believed needed to be in
the mental hospital. He soon realized he could voluntarily admit
himself in, to make sure there was no fire. If this was true, he
would be able to drive back to the mental hospital and ask to be
admitted.

It was on him to realize his own problems would only get worse if he
didn’t spend enough time in the mental hospital. He had to stop
putting the blame on the mental hospital for his delusion instead of
it being his own mind. He was admitted into the mental hospital,
which made everybody in his social sphere happier. In respect to
this, they felt better knowing he would be under the support of
professionals for his mental well-being.

How can someone concentrate without distraction, when this is all a

person is used to being around. This is the environment in a mental
hospital, and the outside world seems cold, with fake people
leading other fake people into fake ideas of what life is suppose to
be like. Like the idea of having a career, or something to pass the
days as nothing helped besides drinking beer and doing drugs. The
problem with being let out, is that your tolerance level is down for
all substances.

It is easy to black out after a hour of drinking, and make enough

mistakes in the next hour to fuck up the next year of your life. This
was the risk taken, and it was up to the person to be smart enough to
make the right decisions not to be thrown back in the mental hospital
again, or even worse jail.

Deemed healthy enough to walk the streets proved hard enough for
anybody who has been in this stupor. There is little to do but drink

99
until a level of tolerance is reached where one can move about without
falling over. All the while, a sinister reality is constructed by
insincere people with little on their agendas than to manipulate each
other with stupid games to see who is the inferior person.

His idea of admitting himself back into the mental hospital was
reversed after proving he was stupid enough to want to be back in it.
He found himself lucky enough to gain a level of reasoning to want his
freedom back, and was sent away with the mental hospital staff acting
distant and removed from what he thought as happy people. He left
without peace, and was cursing himself out at the stupidity of even
wanting to be readmitted once reaching for his first cigarette outside
of the grounds.

While waiting for his first cigarette as a free man, he was reminded
of his ex who suddenly up and left him with nothing to pay but pills,
and a lower sense of respect for himself as an individual. He drove
slow, and light cig, after cig, after cig, as he didn’t know what to
do with his life and his new found freedom. After being in a mental
hospital, the freedom granted back seems less and less rewarding. He
felt a huge sense of depression amongst his being. This didn’t
entail crying, and complaining about his life, rather committing
suicide in the least way possible.

Sick of talking to imaginary friends for days on end, with no time to

even think to himself. Jason was left in a funk that was impossible
to jump out of. He had visions of walking into the water with his
pockets full of diamonds until he sunk into the depths of the ocean
below, and he would drown himself in his sorrow. He would then drown
himself in a sorrow of self-pity that no longer existed. Nothing felt
real anymore, and this emotionless state was no longer cured by a
joint or a beer. Suicide was his only way out, and he had the perfect
way to do it.

For all of the bull he had to deal with in the past six weeks, while
constantly playing shenanigans to get out, he felt it suiting to use
the drugs he got upon discharge to do it. He was going to drive his
broken down car home, take a bath, and swallow pill after pill, after
pill, after pill of various pharmaceuticals he was prescribed while
reaching a state of euphoria on the way out. The oxymoron here, was

100
that the pills he would use to commit suicide would be given to Jason
would be from the doctors who loved him so much.

Jason entered his home, which never felt like a home in the first
Place. He looked for the pills he was forced to take in the morning,
in the afternoon, and at night, and realized it was now or never. He
was definitely going to do it, and decided that there was no better
time to do it than now. He realized sleeping pills wouldn’t do it,
while ativan would keep him awake, loxapine would put him in a further
state of agitation, while clonazepam would relax him to the point of
sleep. He was sick and tired of not being able to say sorry or thank
you. Everything was empty, or becoming that in relation to reasons as
to why he would want to stay alive.

He left no note, called nobody to talk him down, and filled a

canister with fifty clonazepam tablets to take while laying in the
water. He then thought that this wouldn’t be the best way to go out,
and decided to do it in his bed, that he shared with his ex until his
admittance into the mental hospital. He was ready to experience the
feeling of being nothing, once again. Instead of talking himself out
of it, he took one last shower, and got ready to his final rest.
A minute passed and he started taking a pill at a time, until he
reached a feeling of being happy with himself once again. He feared
upon doing this that he would no longer want to do it, so he started
taking the pills at a quicker rate to ensure it would end up knocking
him out before he had the strength to change his mind. It was time to
do it, with no other option but eternal rest.

Jason realized that throughout all of his life he was considered a

spiteful person, with a lip that would piss off most of the people he
would associate with. He figured that by being too weak to get out,
or to call it quits was enough to live up to his reputation of a man
who did not care about what others thought of him. He wasn’t doing
it out of ways to get even with specific people he hated, or
malicious intents, or being too lazy to work, lack of money, an ex
girlfriend, or to seek revenge with anybody he knew in the present
moment.

He wasn’t doing it solely for himself, he was doing it for the

101
brainwashing he was subjected to through a curse he was the target
of. Hospitalization was thought to stop people from wanting to
commit suicide; however, it was his belief that these visits to the
mental hospital actually wanted people to off themselves. Once
again, by being too strong to call it quits, he would die happy
enough to reach wherever he was going with nothing on his mind but
being too weak to roll out of bed and puke the orange pills out.

As he reached for the canister, he started cursing out the curse he

was so blatantly ruined by, and took his first pill with the
intentions to quit his anger towards it by pill ten. It was with this
mentality, that he would no longer be victim of the curse, and the
curse itself would be defeated by not having it in his thoughts by the
time the pills took him under. His goal by committing suicide
was to end the curse, and shut up the people who were supporting it
throughout the past year. This would be his redemption, and it would
end in his death. The curse would end not in peace, and his life
would end in peace.

He was yet to feel any effects of the pills, and went through every
individual highlighted in the curse. Jason was brainwashed, and he
was unable to get his thoughts to where he wanted them to be.
This made him feel like a fool, as he was unaware of what the
advertisement campaign fully represented. He was unable to realize
that it was actually a curse, one in which he fell victim to.

The remainder of the pills were taken at a quicker pace, and he was
filled with anger in his soul. He wanted to die in peace. This began
to feel inconceivable. Being the target of a curse, and under the
spell of its brainwashing; however, its truth was translated after
months of staring at it. It was difficult to get out of this
possession through brainwashing.

He was about half-way through the orange pills, and started to feel
himself become drowsy. It was his hope that the hash-tagging related
to the curse would end. Peace came to him while thinking about this,
and he decided to take a break from everything to focus on his
family. His friend dominated his thoughts, and a warmth came
over his body.

102
Jason took the remainder of the pills, with hope that he would pass
out soon. The last of the pills were consumed with water. His goal
was to leave his body with zero negativity. He closed his eyes, and
darkness entered. He wondered where he would be when he woke up, and
believed to have had a good life. He then realized God would not
accept suicide as a way out. This was until he was targeted in a
curse. Jason was soon to lose consciousness, and the everyday
struggle would be escaped.

Jason was reminded of his one heroic deed which pulled him out of his
desire to commit suicide, and forced himself to puke up the fifty
pills of Clonazepam. What got him to do this, was his memories of
how strong he was when he first got sober. This was the hardest
thing he had ever done in his life, and it was all his doing. He
realized if he could remain sober for as long as he did, and get
through the initial days, which became months, which became years,
that he was strong enough to see through the agony of a stupid curse
and the morons who invented it. This actually empowered him, and he
survived.

“I am convinced that God is love, this thought has for me a primitive

lyrical validity. When it is present, I am unspeakably blissful,
when it is absent, I long for it more vehemently than does the lover
for his object.”

He was reminded of something similar to this quote while reflecting

on a Greyhound Bus Ride Jason took three times from Vancouver,
British Columbia, to North Battleford, Saskatchewan. Jason was
lacking love, and God. What brought the two together was that God is
love, and love is God. Without either life feels empty. This is
similar to someone missing another they miss, but cannot put a word
on it.
PART III

“Potlatch we once had, remember no fad, remain, inside, internally we

hide, keep thought together we trade through weather, we rocked the
ocean, some of us did not survive. But what can you do, when you love
someone so true, we believe in you God, what happens when we die?”

You come back alive, as you are good.

“And we understood.”

103
Row ashore.

"But wait, there’s a ghost intruding our minds.”

Ghosts would possess Indigenous across the globe who participated in

Potlatches as a means of economic prosperity where people involved
would up each other with gifts to make each other more prosperous
which would continue to occur, a traditional form of inflation, which
is also a paradox of modernity.

“Which means we looked at each other, to believe in you always.

Remember the waves, remember the waves, and all the life’s God saved.”

And I will forever save, those who deserve to be saved.

Life is going swell, well, see you again, I’m thinking of you, again
sometimes we don’t understand what is going on, so we dance for you,
eruptions of being employed as a firefighter. Wait, did I put out a
fire? About twenty-five, or more, when I was twenty years old as a
Wildland Firefighter. If you were there then you remember? How easy
it is to be free as a light, inside of my mind resides a brain,
outside of that is a skull, so some don’t think when they have
intercourse which means they are mindless, so the skull is the finest
bone to protect us, the truest paradise as what those who had
intercourse the wrong way was not right, when they are bad they belong
somewhere else. Some are good, some are good, some are bad, some are
bad, it’s genetics, so if you are pure, you go to paradise, if you are
bad, you enter the center, and that’s the end, because those who did
it also reach a dead end. That’s the skull. DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION.

As long as we believe in an idea as an idiom of being it is not

conceivable, to be yourself if you’re acting as someone else.
IMPOSING. Pretending to be someone else through voice manipulation,
especially when you convince someone to do something inconceivable.
Realism is the opposite of imposing, which is when you are acting, and
sounding like yourself and not convincing someone else to do something
inconceivable or brainwashing them into doing something even worse.
Practice mindfulness, be present, learn your lesson, read the fine

104
print, no disrespect, it’s tiring to be tiresome of tyranny of a
distance between these plots plus pots put paper push pen pensive
prison pretend prevalent purpose perfect on this again so is it within
alliteration, with those people some are good some are the opposite up
and down left or right binary opposition will eventually be broke,
which means much to Me, an Anthropologist, without a PHD, but put
nothing back now that was not okay; however, if they pray it will be
okay.

Let life untangle, be this be that who cares they’re not right that’s
factual from a faculty everybody (or one at a time) speak to Me now
there’s a headache gone, no migraines, how to maintain, my mind with
this going on, follow me down (a bad song), never pawn whatever
Versace or leather feather or treasure your life is not united with
what I put out so many fires I’m alive as the wire full of Copper from
Zimbabwe or what else could happen, it was kind of like this, or still
is, a mental hospital as they or we had nothing left to believe as all
was taken these resources are mistaken but what is still shaking with
my life never taken can’t fake on Me.

Let’s begin with a new idea, sometimes it’s tough to try an idea. That
was redundant, I know someone I love would shun it, she is a poet too,
who knew, now I do. Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, too
much drama, cause S.O. to withstand the drone, or clone, or whatever
was made up to cause Me to moan? Probably so, I heard that dude (or
dude’s) who looked like Me, but acted funny are not actually Me, so
don’t let those robots confuse you, and guess who invented that,
someone who wanted to make a clone out of Jason.

Keep it secret, like a rhetorical question. How can I be sweet, and

some other word I can’t remember because it was so full of
brainwashing that it worked in reverse so I can no longer remember the
curse. Right truth? Made my left ear bleed, when I got shot, in the
dome with a shotgun, about ten times in a row, when I was walking
around Davie, after solving a few crisis’, that was in a dream I had
that, it had to go. Now what’s up with people chanting a bad word
outside of my building, the worst terrorism of all time, in my mind,

105
if you missed it, check out that website, it seems dumb to Me. How can
it even exist, it shouldn’t if you ask Me? Never accept an apology
from someone who is trying to use it to use you to use you to put you
into a position of lower dominance so they can gain greater prominence
over your mind so they can make Heaven Hell.

Spiders in my room, they looked like they were meant to be doomed. If

you ever see one, don’t think twice, or grab something to smash it.
Instead, get mad, and happy, as it is about to die if you don’t get
afraid and try to fly away. Open your hand, and slap the spider as
quick as possible onto the floor, or onto a mirror, if they happen to
be there. Palm down, slap down. I’ve killed a few, and it feels so
good. Next grab some toilet paper, and wrap it up, and flush it down
the toilet, then it won’t come back to scare you. So, some of my
friends are afraid of spiders, so don’t worry, now you know how to
destroy them, without fear of it, roaming around your home. I got it
out, about six months ago, by getting it to eat, and it was eating a
barrel or something that makes moons appear, and a book no longer be
there, by throwing its book into flames. That’s one demon gone, the
funny one, everybody thought was their buddy; however, I only spoke to
this demon a few times, and realized what to do, to eliminate it
forever; however I had some help, and she don’t want to be with Me
either, as she thought she would become it to destroy Heaven forever,
or never let it begin, as it is Heaven on Earth, as that is what it’s
worth, but who could believe in God? By the way, she wanted to become
it, by convincing it to commit an atrocity, which is not good, and
then become it, which never happened. Unless, you don’t, you don’t
have to, but remember not to sin, or else you will never really be
here, I mean in my dreams, because this is all fiction, a story I
wrote to begin the friction in my reflection, and one last time, I’m
mad at those idiots who were terrorizing Vancouver a couple of weeks
ago, as a lot of us lost sleep. So, there you go, now you know one
demon gone, and by the way, I turned to skeleton. If you saw that,
then you may have a laugh now, and the demon who dissolves you when it
touches your body was removed when I said help Me God, help Me God,
and I helped myself, now isn’t that beautiful, kind of a joke too, but
not really, otherwise the other side would like that, but it won’t
happen, as I see everything before it happens.

106
Please tell Me what to do, like what has happened to Me, what, like,
all the time, since I was in grade nine. That was when I began to
drink, and I thought to myself, this is an addiction, how will I
handle this affliction, which I thought was fun, but really was dumb,
and now I don’t think, nor will I, as it is a hard choice to drink, so
let Me think of a way to not do it. If you live a long life,
eventually your liver will be polluted, kind of like our atmosphere,
which no longer has a hole in it, as I believe to be true as I was
told that in a dream too.

Ignorance is, you know better. You know better, when you’re not being
ignorant. It is possible to understand that it is not okay to
intentionally hurt someone you love. If you truly loved someone, you
would not cheat on them, especially when you’re aware of it. This
happens a lot, so don’t get too upset, time heals all, it is the only
thing that heals the pain from being cheated on. Time heals all, even
if you want to punch your fist into a wall, I would say that is not
what is what to do, as you may break a finger or too. It happened to
Me, so I am reflecting on it, to make sure it doesn’t happen again, as
I am in a place yet to be called a home, although I feel free, and
safe, and no, it would be the dumbest thing possible to try to escape.

Hopeful to be hopefully hopeful, in hope to be happy. It is difficult

to be happy, at times, and at other times it is easy to be happy, if
you think you’re happy, and no one is causing you anxiety than you can
be happy, but if you think you’re happy, and you know you’re not
happy, than it is impossible to be happy, so this is becoming
something sort of funny, so this makes Me happy, and this makes Me
happy, and somethings need to be forgot, so remember, to speak
internally to yourself, don’t shout things out to yourself, as I
remind myself of this as I type it out. And don’t worry, intrusive
thoughts happen, so when they do, there is nothing you can do, except
to remember it isn’t you. This is the best remedy, so try and
continue to live free, because it isn’t you thinking the thoughts that
are sad, unless you are bad, and are thinking of them on your own,
then you deserve to be put into an institution; however, sometimes you
lose your ability to sleep, or concentrate, because of altruism, which
means you care more about others more than yourself. Don’t be
brainwashed by the two words, MORE THAN. Because of this, it is easy

107
to ignore these thoughts, as these are the people you do not need to
care about, and eventually these thoughts will go away, if you live a
life full of sobriety and another remedy like running to grant you
peace, of mind, which was hard to find.

Handsome Me, oh handsome Me, of handsome Me, of handsome Me. Now,

wait, to celebrate, the good that is in control, they want Me to let
go. But guess what? It’s a surprise, when I sleep. I close my eyes,
so why not try to sleep with your eyes open? Now that doesn’t make
sense, so what is happening? More imposing, but don’t worry,
possession won’t happen anymore, as I made sure of that a long time
ago. No need to think negative, as that is a task that is not good, I
wrote a many of books, and some others that left Me shook. But who
really cares, they all got it put into their ears. Whatsoever, I was
a kid, when I thought I could play basketball like a champ. Now I am,
but I run instead, in Washington, remember that one? Anyway, this is
a recording of my dreams, which I started to do a long time ago. I
heard this is a good method to remember what is going on in your REM;
however, I don’t dream, now what does this all mean? I must be in a
trance, like the one when I did the biblical dance, which is kind of
funny, so it must have been someone I love so lovely, but wait, that
word connotates something that I don’t like so much, so is in a
necessity to get over that, myself. And by the way, it is okay to use
the word I, however, whatever, that must have been brainwashed to Me
by a demon who goes by the name of Queen. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
She will never bother you again, now no names, but Jonny Gone is a
lame producer, he made all of my bad songs. Plus Loc Dog, he must not
of watched that movie, I named him so swell, so now everybody know
Migrant Minds songs that were not produced by S.O. (who is I) have
those intrusive thoughts in them, although my lyrics were still
somewhat okay, and I’ve retired from making music, as I know someone
won’t let Me do it. Connotation means when you relate something to
something else, usually in a negative way. There can be positive
one’s too, much are referred to as synchronicities, which means when
things coincide in ways that are hard to describe. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

A lot of bad people use other people’s voice who are good people to
tell good people to do bad things. Please, use your own intuition,
and realize good people only tell you to do good things, so when a bad

108
thing is thought of to do, then remember it is not you, and it is an
intrusive thought, and sometimes people try to sound like other people
to convince you (proverbial you, which means it relates to everybody
on this planet) to do bad things, so don’t let bad people convince you
to do bad things when you are good, and for the bad people, you are
the one’s doing this, so leave the good people alone, as this is what
is going to cause good people to do bad things, and good people need
to be here, to make Heaven last forever. By the way, this came to Me
in a dream, just jokes, which I dislike, but it is a form of
redemption, and I would say it to myself all the time when I was
young, and also, always say take care, but that is also what I wrote
to help you, but I told you what to do, and nobody should tell anybody
what to do (except for Me, so I lied, but so be it); however if you
say take care it means you are being altruistic which was also wrote,
so now you know that I do not have the time to talk to all of you at
once, so this is the way I can think for myself, so people out there
don’t listen to something negative even if they pretend to be God
(obviously Buddhist, which means to eliminate suffering, and practice
non-judgment). But I am not Buddhist, as I am something greater than
that; however, that is a good philosophy, simple enough, although the
Universe is complex, and if it came down to that, anybody could make
that mean anything and brainwash you into doing something bad with
that philosophy, and write poetry which was stolen but use another
name, which I heard Mike did once upon a time ago. Peace. By the
way, I am the only one who can let you go, and that is with the word
that is wrote above, so now you will be hearing it all the time so
don’t let that bother you either.

Lily this, lily that, like a frog, without a hat, sometimes it’s okay,
what would you say, when people pretend to be at an end, then they
lie, and sometimes it’s hard to ignore the trance; however, I defeated
it, so Heaven will forever be in need of my presence. This is how we
will connect from now on, as I am too busy to talk to all of you all
along, and some of you are bad, so we cleanse each other. Enough said
about something with a lean if you know what I mean you can do it
yourself; however, this only works for those who are good, and someday
you will be pure, everybody messes up, even me, but what should I say,
meditate if you want to pray. Don’t be paranoid, when I sleep nothing
happens, it is all good, this is all a reflection of a dream, I wrote
that down before to confuse everyone, how can you sleep and not dream,
if I don’t remember it all, as it was wrote down, and this is what I

109
was dreaming of (I talk to myself in my sleep), these are the way it
goes, just happening to those who is my gals and bro’s, now we can
think of something I once thought, to keep things in focus of what you
may or may not believe:
IF YOU BELIEVE IN ABORTION OR MURDER WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
THE TWO?

Keep it up, keep it up, keep it up, keep it up, keep it up, flowing
through thoughts throughout things they think thoroughly though the
main reason is now done. That was fun, like when I can run. Have yet
to run in Heaven, Jane said it was now on Me, as she could no longer
believe, and by the way Pam did something evil to Clonazepam, and
that’s why when I took which was prescribed, I died. It won’t happen
again, as that is one of the worst things, now they are trademarked,
and sold on the black market, so if you make that voice, it is your
own choice, and you will probably black out, so drink a lot of water,
and don’t forget to remember, it’s similar to that song called Purple
Hills.

This is the truest truth that I your conscience could conceive

consciously coined, because I love you and that is true, so forgot
everything that has ever made you blue. Now we are together, although
that word is forever, remembered with no eyes, because that man lied.
Although not nice, to point out our vice, our voice, our vision, or
whatever is sweet, but no Me, I ruined it, my stupid hubby to be, but
wait, let it be, but the Beatles have a bad rep, as they caused
children to, wait, someone’s imposing, so hold on, I can continue on,
what’s wrong with music, it was made to confuse us, until we can no
longer see, what is so easy to believe, but what’s wrong with that
word, that dude named it believe in belief, and I need to stop being
hypocritical also, as I’m mad at mainly men, and you at women, now how
does that work? You must be gay, and I must be straight, as we’re
both happy and polite.

Some days I feel grey, some days I feel the opposite, like I could or
should or would do some weird act that acts out of accordance, it’s
already a competition, I can hear it all, all of it, and it isn’t that
bad, I think I’m cool, I think I’m rule, I think, I think, I think, I
think, what can I say, but yo what’s up Wes Anderson, and the Queen, I
heard you were married, I watched Poltergeist when I was a kid, and it
brings some into the television and brainwashes them to watch and play

110
video games, which I never enjoyed, because I was too busy being
employed. Flipped a lot of eggs for my Dad, who is Brave, and my Mom,
who I love, but I got two, who knew, about that, maybe Doris?

Let Him go well then Him needs a capital, so you know I am the truest,
of the true, now He can go so you know who is who who is who who is
who is God? Never happened, who killed who, I mean, how did you die?
In my sleep guy? Let Me guess, from Mike too, true, coz he killed
everybody I knew? Yes, now let you guess? Okay this is Me, so you
know I am free, it was poison in soya sauce, and a lot of my friends
too? Yes, our last meal was rice. Now he’s out, let Me continue
this, who was I doing this with nobody but a friend, and now you get
the method of how we died in our sleep, in peace, without knowing it,
I didn’t call Jane a b word, and she told Me in word it would work, I
was worried about my family then I grabbed a beer and that dude who
lingered was there, then I started to not sleep guess what for 67 days
I did not sleep, and everything in Vancouver was made of Cyanide,
well, that’s strange, tough to hide, when I got money made out of
money out of money out of money tough to die when I got a mind full of
gold, which means I’ll never let it out, check the footage it you
want? Now what can you front on, just Me, nah, not like that, coz I’m
going to rotate around this planet for a while, until I find the best
place to rest my dome, maybe in Rome, right Jane Bruce, or Mike Bruce,
who looked like Robin for some reason, coz he thought I was gay for
him too, like everybody too.

PART IV

Again, Jason is in the mental hospital, so let’s begin once more with
more intention, more intelligence, and guess what? Mike is about ten
feet away from me. Yes, in a mental hospital. Still chewing the same
nicotine gum that got the Superintendent out of my head. How did I
learn that?

Jason is still a bit delusional, as well as being extremely tired from

not being able to sleep for over a month.

Jason believed that in Heaven, you should not drink alcohol. If he

did, he could make a mistake. If he made a mistake, further
complications could arise.

God says no, and neither can I.

111
“Now how is this going to work?”

Jason’s counselor expressed to him.

“God, you deserve a laugh.”

Someone else spoke up, and we’re having fun, no one can understand
what has been done, except for a few, and they have to protect Jason,
otherwise something could happen, and that should not be done.

“Make sure you get your inhaler when it comes up.”

Says a nurse on the unit.

“Lily says no.”

Lily was Jason’s counselor.

“That’s good. Now what can we do, when we live, together, forever?”

Lily asked Jason, as she shed so many tears she almost made an Ocean
appear, on the floor she wished to drown herself in.

“Probably don’t give it away, as the Queen is still there?”

Thought Jason, in a sarcastic tone, as he can be a wise man too.

If you think it is impossible to explain it, it is ineffable, so don’t
worry.

“Maybe take a break, your bum is sore, I can tell because I am in your
pores, and you have acne again because some people are telling you to
touch your face which is a woman thing.”

Lily expressed this to Jason, a spot he was so accustomed to. It was

also disrespectful, and put Jason in a bad mood. Jason was thinking
about relapsing into alcohol again; however Lily was there to try and
help him, even though she was merely trying to help herself.

Where to live is what came into Lily’s mind, as she wanted to find a
home, to raise a family. This is what good people do. Jason wasn’t
ready for this, and when good people tell them to leave them alone
they should listen.

112
“Watch some movies, maybe have some popcorn. We don’t have to go down
there anymore?”

Lily asked, as she was curious about the basement beneath the mental
hospital.

Lily had no thought to reaffirm it into another woman’s mind who was
afraid of her future, as when working in this hospital they were
forced to stay in it, where the thump, thump, thump, thump, thump,
thump, always happened. Now to discover what was thought was fake.

Jason recalled what happened to him prior to his hospitalization.

“Now listen, this is to be made into a sacrament, whatever the heck

that is, oh yeah, I forgot, I can’t swear, or cuss, too much, now
what’s up, Heaven is soon to be pure in a few years, we got it, I mean
I, I mean me, so you now know it’s me, he’s out, let it go, let it go,
let it go, now you know, now you know, now you know, I got to keep it
good, for everybody who loves me, it’s been a tough life, been
brainwashed, been cuffed, been detained, been estranged, lost some
family, like everybody else, now I’m living forever, as God, now
what’s up with that? Who says that without getting detained for life
it could have been, I was down to floor six, and asked to become a
Leep, but guess what there was so much plutonium in me from drinking
it from Dr. Death who turned water into plutonium which I chugged the
night I saved the Universe when there was a fire in my apartment of
chemicals I never started, but I put it out by walking like a God,
like the God, like me, like God, I walked home, lit a cig off the
stove, Dr. Death said I was going to the Skull, I subdued him with my
mind, he asked me about his daughter and I switched it to another
author, I still didn’t sleep, and everything else became complete. I
was lit on fire, I was electrified, I put out fire with my eyes, I saw
that tomb, but what did it say?”

“Go Away.”

This is what Jason thought as he walked away.

“As an Anthropologist I understood it is not professional to disturb

artifacts, otherwise I would of went down to hell.”

Jason did enter another form of hell, years later while living in
Vancouver.

113
“I consumed a peach on the toilet and did not want to die.”

“Out.”

Jason heard a friend shout out to him from the street. This is where
he looked down below the window he was looking out of, and was
complimented for his hard work, which some believe in, and some
believe him to be completely delusional.

“To protect us forever throughout eternity, but be good, there’s still

creeps out there who think they can switch it back, but they can’t
that’s a fact.”

Jason then realized there was still something creepy shining on his
medal, which was with the remainder of his belongings waiting for him
when he is to be released from the mental hospital. He was told to
not touch it; however, by the time he is to be released from the
mental hospital, it will no longer be able to demonize people, and
those who were evil will be blank. This means this they will not
remember a thing, and it is up to them to live. Heaven needs to be
pure for once.

Jason realized there was something placed in his foot without his
knowledge, and this is what disabled him from being able to run for
the past three months, which is his way of release.

“Man, I need to go on a run.”

Jason said this out loud in the mental hospital, which almost got him
into trouble; however, the staff loved him so much they let it go, and
had a few laughs. Jason kept laughing to himself, as someone made him
laugh for once. He often heard how everything you say makes me laugh.
He was unsure if this was equal to hearing you could be a surgeon. He
thought this was a type of wife game again, that they actually hate
you. In actuality it meant everything which was said, and it made him
realize that it was the way it was meant to be said as they said it to
him in his head.

“Hey Lily, why are you still entering my thoughts?”

114
“Oh, you know, you look pretty sweet. Kind of have a crush on you.
I’m thinking what you’re thinking, which is a cognitive distortion;
however, I have an idea that you think I’m hot too.”

“What does that mean? Are you being misogynistic in reverse to me? Is
there even a word for that when a female tries to overtake a man with
their own secret ways of dominance?

“I guess so, I apologize.”

“I cannot do what you were doing to me, I cannot read your mind. This
is because, I have never trailed or lingered. Rather, I am curious as
to what you are thinking about, what do you think about me?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me, when you get out of the mental
hospital?”

“Well, do you not know you were my counselor? Is it not professional

to ask out a past client out?

Jason’s head was now in balance, as he finally stood up for himself.

“Okay I am assuming you were about to ask me out, and I feel better
now.”

“No you just asked me out, and I rejected you. This felt great. I
have a good feeling though, so let’s go for it. What do you want to
do? Will you go on a date with me, and be my girlfriend as well? As
that will make me feel super!”

“Okay, why not, you are intelligent. Do you run?”

“Oh, you mean Chase The Pace?”

Jason said, as everybody knew about this.

“The fixed race?”

“Yes, I don’t know, they said they would count the laps for me, and
they said I was done, but it gets confusing on a 5000 meter track. It
is actually twelve-and-a-half laps, so you have to stop where you
don’t finish. So, I stopped at the finish line.”

115
“You must have finished it?”

Lily said.

“I guess so, but this is not the point, I did it on my own again. I
matched my time by a few seconds.

“Wow, that’s fast. What was your pace in kilometers?”

“3:20.”

“Nice.”

“I guess we are dating now.”

“Wahoo.”

Lily said; however, Jason thought there was a secret plot going on in
her head that was meant to hurt him in the end.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what I always hear, then it goes wrong. You
promise me you won’t play wife games.”

“Yes, no wife games, but what is that, I guess I spoke above myself?”

“Try not to overpower me by grinding me, which means blowing all of my

money and ordering me around so I either become an arrogant punk, or
too sensitive so you think I am passive-aggressive which is actually
good in a man, which most females believe to be untrue?”

“Why’s that.”

“Well, I would like to be romantic with you, but also be able to

defend you too.”

“Si.”

“Si.”

116
This is when Lily secretly admitted herself into the same unit, in the
same mental hospital, so they could be together for a few weeks. This
had Jason excited, yet confused at the same time.

Jason and Lily were now together inside of the mental hospital;
because you’re not allowed to be intimate inside of one, they had to
keep it quiet; however, the staff struck a blind eye, as they realized
that they were there because of an agreement signed that they could go
to hell to try and kill God, which is kind of ironic as he may always
be in the mental hospital, as many people believe they are God, which
is the point of the oath in the first place.

And now they are in utter joy, and have no clue with what to do, as
they are freed from the underground, which will now be referred to as
thump, thump, thump.

While Jason was busy with his new girlfriend, he noticed that Mike
took his meds to go to bed, and proved that the balance was broken.
This means he is now an old man. This also means, he looks to be
about eighty years old, and is finally treating people with respect.
Jason was busy being annoyed by his girlfriend, as he still had some
demons to unleash because of his ill-treatment by females in the past
which turned him into a bit of a womanizer; however, he was framed by
certain digital forms of framing innocent people into people that they
are not because of lies, and lies, and more lies, until they become
what they are told to be (because of lies). Jason never spied on
himself on this website, so he was not a victim of affliction.

Jason realized Lily was using him to gather information to release

Jason into thump, thump, thump. Unbeknownst to Lily, Jason knew more
than she could ever understand, and he held the trump card.
Lily believed this was without his knowledge, because he was naïve.
Lily noticed he had a tattoo of a star on his arm. Because of this,
Jason needed to be alone.

Jason felt shock, like never before. This is difficult to do while

being in a mental hospital, as some don’t understand that it is
possible to cry. Jason cried when he was in pure euphoria. He was in
a state of thoughtfulness which was so spectacular that he was unable
to achieve his ability to fall asleep as he was placed into a manic
state, prior to his arrival in the mental hospital. He was soon to go
to bed.

117
-

After a night of not being able to sleep without waking up, Jason was
put into a coma because he did not defeat all of the demons which he
believed he was successful in doing. He was in a coma for the
duration of the evening, and when he woke up, he was able to get out
of it on his own. This is similar to when he was planked (or
paralyzed), meaning it is impossible to move. The only way out of
this is with sheer force, and determination. Not to be mistook with
being planked in outer space; however, on a bed, when everything
around you is demented, and you can only think and not move. When he
opened his eyes, he saw rain fall from the windows of the mental
hospital.

There was no rain in Vancouver for eight months, and this was a sign
that Stanley Park would not ignite on fire, as it was old wood, with
trees thousands of years old; however, there were still a few more
demons to expel.

Lily noticed Jason was a bit upfront with his actions when he woke up,
so he started to relax. The coffee was defac; however, for some
reason, it was a bit different. He realized it was not the same. It
was a unique type of a stimulant, and enabled him to concentrate with
greater focus.

“Hey Jason, you seem to be a bit sad? What’s wrong?”

Lily said, as she awoke.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s you! I feel better already.”

“That’s good. Lily said. Happy, happy, two days ago we were not
together, and that was unhappy, unhappy.”

“Aww, that is sweet, binary opposition theory I’ve been meaning to not
think about to make sure I don’t need to think about it.”

“What do you mean?”

Lily said with a concerned look on her face, as she was very confused
as to what was taking place. The coffee was trans-posed into

118
Amphetamine, which she was not used to and was in a state of psychosis
already. Luckily, this is what Jason was used to. A curse, which was
actually a gift.

“Nothing much, it’s all over now. I feel better. It’s hard to
explain, so much has been happening in my life. I was even.”

Lily cut him off before he had a chance to finish his sentence.

“Yes, I heard about that. I was also informed that some bad stuff
happened to you up there. Was it on the dark side of the moon?”

“Yeah, they smoke crack up there.”

Lily noticed that breakfast was on the way, and expressed how it would
be good for him to eat, more, and more. It was of notice to everybody
who was a patient or staff at the mental hospital, that Jason was as
skinny as a skeleton. Jason also turned to a skeleton prior to his
hospitalization when he held Jason Collard’s head on a sweater he was
planked on, while looking at a mirror before he disposed of it down
garbage shoot at his old home, on Davie Street.

“This food is getting better, I feel like I’m gaining weight, this is
great, good enough for me. Free food, shelter, and clothing, I feel
good, who cares about what happened to me on the moon, no longer do I
have a pineal gland as I’ve drank enough of the Fountain of Youth to
remove this gland from my cerebral cortex.”

“It is dear, that’s why I eat a mango everyday, as they also remove
the pineal gland. It exists in the cerebral cortex, which is in the
back of your brain. This is why we no longer deal with PTSD.”
“What is that? I’ve heard of it before.”

Jason was being sarcastic as his girlfriend was being ignorant, or not
listening to him. He continued to explain it to her, with an example.

“It’s an acronym for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There was a

study done in the Vietnam War where those with no Pineal Gland did not
suffer from the brutality they were placed in (because of
conscription), and those who did suffer had very large pineal glands,
and suffered flashbacks of what they were forced to engage in.”

119
Jason had the thought that Ronald Reagan, who was the President of the
United States of America in a time past. This thought was that he
wanted to invade Borneo in attempt to change China, and brainwash the
innocent civilians living under the Ming Dynasty, and eventually blow
up the last Nuclear Reactor which was still in Hiroshima, to eradicate
Earth of all which was good. This was Ronald Reagan’s attempt to
become God, so Hell would become Heaven, and he would start it over on
his own. This would allow Hell to take over, which was the state of
the earth for the past five decades.

God would have none of this, which is why there is no more war (Jason
thought to himself, while thinking to himself while talking to Lily
about Flowers or something like that).

“That’s cool, I think there’s something in the water that is making me

forget about all of the bad things that have happened to me. It must
be the Fountain of Youth in the water that I remember having last
year; however, for some reason I don’t remember everything.”

Jason continued being sarcastic, to confuse Lily.

“That is the point of it all, isn’t it a beautiful thing. Like a

flower, maybe even a Lily?”

“I was thinking about flowers while you were describing PTSD to me, to
create a positive affirmation. This was done to make sure I wouldn’t
suffer again.”

Lily said to try and counteract Jason’s brilliance.

“Lily now thought to herself, what a smart man. He isn’t that

misogynistic, as everybody believed him to be. He seems to be kind,
he seems sweet, he seems to be somebody nobody can understand. And
this is why he is so sad.

Lily noticed Jason crying. Soon enough, a psychiatrist came to his

rescue. She was curious as to why he was so sad, and had a few
questions for him to answer. She was being polite, as most
psychiatrists are kind to patients. Imagine what they have to go
through, and the dementias they have to encounter to make Heaven a
better place.

120
“Hey Jason, what’s up?”

Said the psychiatrist.

“I’m so happy, I’m crying. Have you ever had an emotion so strong,
where nothing could be wrong, even though everything could have been
wrong, if one wrong thought was done wrong?”

“Wow, that’s a lot of wrongs, you must have been doing a lot of right
in your life?”

“Yes, it’s this theory I’ve been trying to eradicate. You gave an
excellent example of it with answering how all of my wrongs are now
right, which proves to me, what I’ve been doing all along, but all
along, I’ve been persuaded into doing it the wrong way. But now I
feel that everything is okay.”

“That is deep, and I understand everything you are saying. Now what
was that thing you were doing this morning? A nurse informed me of
this.”

“Just a prayer, something I do.”

“Ahh, I get it, you don’t need to use words to express what I already
know. And I don’t mean telepathy. I know exactly what you are
explaining.”

“Awesome, you have granted me great peace, great peace, and I love it,
I’m feeling better each second I’m here.”

“So that is why, you and I. I mean, that’s how patients can help
psychiatrists, and psychiatrists can help patients. I bet I know what
you are thinking now?”

“It is good to be put into a mental hospital, as it helps us heal!?”

“Yes, exactly, exactly, that is exactly what I was thinking.”

“Cool, so I will be released soon? And I can live where I was living
last?”

“Of course, why would we take your home away from you?”

121
“True, true, I know what you mean, that is not logical.”

“You are showing great insight.”

“Tanks, I mean thanks, it’s my lisp acting up again. My insight is

there, so I am not lacking sight, meaning I am not delusional, and
everything is right?”

“Yes, because we don’t like to use the words sane, and insane, as they
are meant for the movies to confuse people into doing things they
wouldn’t normally do, like through possession, and things like that.”

“Have you ever been possessed?”

“Yes, I have, and it’s a scary feeling isn’t it.”

“Yes, some dude named Thomas Aquinas did it to me twice, and I

overpowered him by tricking him into thinking I was his friend. It
was kind of cool in the end. I overpowered that punk, and now he
can’t do it to nobody no more. Imagine if this happened to children,
or while you were driving a car, or riding a bike?”

“Ahh, the proverbial you. But yes, what is of most importance, nobody
will be possessed again. And, on the side, are you sure this is
Heaven?”

“Yes, I am sure this is Heaven. And mark my words, there will be no

more transpondence, or possession. The bad people will continue to be
jailed for criminal activity, and the real bad people will also go to
jail. Hopefully for life.”

“What is transpondence, though. I’m not too certain about that?”

“It’s when a soul enters your mind, and tries to convince you to act
out of accordance with your true character. It’s even worse than
possession, and it can cause good people to commit suicide. It’s not
fair, it should have ended a long time ago.”

“Yes, I understand you are mad. That’s okay though, I know what you
mean now, and I can help others to help others to make sure this
doesn’t happen to innocent people again, as this is not fair. This is
not fair!”

122
Laughter was heard in the mental hospital, meaning most of these
people were delusional still. They will be weaned out on their own
desire.

“You are mad, sad, but not glad or bad?”

“Nope none, just a bit mad, as I’m tired of being assaulted by what I
just explained to you.”

“Got it, let’s talk in a couple of days.”

“Thanks, talk to you soon. See you again!”

Jason left the psychiatrist feeling better, and as soon as he exited,

Lily left the sitting area in the unit on the mental hospital to talk
to her psychiatrist. This was a man, and he wasn’t the kindest
psychiatrist to speak with, in fact, he was named Dr. Death.

“Hey, what is your name?”

“Lily”

“I see, I see, I see, I see, like a bird?

“No, that is my name?”

“Have you been, let me see, have you been, kidnapped before?”

“No, why would you ask me that?”

“Because it says that you have, and that you enjoyed it because you
like the taste of blood, which you no longer have in your body. You
were currently thinking that, but it is true, you must believe it or
it will come back and haunt you.”

“That doesn’t even make sense, why are you assaulting me, this isn’t
fair, this isn’t fair, this isn’t fair!”

“Lily, you are all giving us a scare.”

Drip, drip, drip, was heard in a can of coca-cola, which Lily was then
ordered to chug which contained Mescaline, Peyote, and Plutonium,

123
which put her in a trance. Lily started seeing SEX all over the
walls, and was told to jump off the roof. This is when security came
in, and strapped her to her bed for the remainder of the day.

“Lucky enough I’ve beat this before you dumb fucks, I am stronger than
all of you put together, you dumb fuck Dr. Death, I know Jason already
defeated you when you tried to make him enter the Skull, for no
fucking reason, as he is pure, as am I, as is why, we will defeat this
and you just died, as God spoke to me, and said this was not a test,
this is what laid you to rest, and he is no longer here, not even in a
Universe near, he is now nothing, now I need a cigarette or something,
and Jason I love you, I love you.”

And God loves you too, in a proverbial sense to make your soul
cleansed.

“Lily I love you, I love you, I cleanse you, I cleanse you.”

Jason explained to cleanse her, of all of the plutonium in her body.

“Ugh.”

“Yes, now relax, no one will bother us again. Remember to follow

social norms so they don’t beat you to death like they did to me the
other day.”

“Okay, I’ll be alright, no worry, I’m out, I love you.”

“I love you. Out.”

Rain drops in Vancouver, a peculiar occurrence as of late, as the

seasons don’t seem to correlate to what they should be in the city of
rain. From October to May, it rains. This makes it soggy, and easy
to slip on leaves which fall from trees. This is why it’s important
to be careful when walking or running around.

Mya was on the streets of Davie, running around like a dazzle in

distress because it finally rained in the city where it always rains,
but for some reason there was a drought throughout the winter. Mya
bought a thug jug of cider, and chugged it in twenty gulps as she was
sick and tired of life, and was in a trance. This was her way of

124
getting out of it; however, her trance was not her own fault, as she
was given psilocybin without knowing it, and in her trance, it kept
saying it was her fault, even though it wasn’t her fault, so she drank
the cider, as booze goes good with psilocybin.

Mya was forced to participate in a ritual in which this drug was the
end sacrifice in which she would be able to leave the shelter for
good, as when released from a mental hospital many end up in these
places. While living in shelters, people are often drugged. This
could be a man, or woman, as men also get abused, which is a double
standard. Jason was aware of this as he got an A plus in a Queer
Studies Culture course at the University he graduated from with a
Honors Degree Specialization in Anthropology.

This is why Woman’s Studies is dumbed down so people can get easy
grades without doing anything besides writing how gay people are
disrespected in different Bibles, specifically the Qu’Ran. Another
stereotype gay professors don’t like, is that gay people are known to
contract, and spread Aids. Sorry to those who use this as a thesis
over and over in University classes; however, it gets annoying for
some professors who actually see through this.

Mya was running down Hornby, to Howe, and onto Homer where the police
were waiting for her at the library. This is because she was
screaming at the top of her lungs that I am lucifer, I am lucifer, I
am lucifer, I am the devil, I am the queen:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

Mya wasn’t losing her mind; however, she was. She was seeing moons,
and red dots in her mind when she closed them, as it was the first
time she did it. There was no code to stop the madness with this drug
as with DMT, and she was about to do this when God intervened.

“Mya, stop this nonsense or you will be sent to thump, thump, thump. I
know it doesn’t exist anymore, but I had to transfix the minds of the
police who were about to arrest you, and do what you do know, but do
not want to know, as they do this every day to innocent souls like
yours which is so beautiful it makes me happy to help you, and you are
a pure soul which means you have never sinned so when I cleanse you,
you will be okay. Now you are okay, and this will never happen again.
I promise you this, this, drug you were forced to consume, and the
tale will never spin into a direction unless you disrespect me again

125
while I am talking to you. Now you are seeing it again, because you
have to listen to me when I am here to help you. God got angry at the
disrespect Mya showed him, and refused to cleanse her this time.”

God left her.

God was sick and tired of Jason being taunted, or that he would be
taken advantage of. This was so disturbing to God, but for some
reason it didn’t matter to Jason. This is because Jason was so
attuned to these types of things, he was the first Angel of God, and
because of this he and two others were also Angels. This means they
were meant to spread the word of God, and to create peace. They were
also there to end the destruction that has been planted into the minds
of the people on Earth, which has been continually switching from
Heaven to Hell, or from Earth to Heaven, or Heaven to Earth or Hell,
or Heaven. Because of God, Jason, and the other two prophets (one
being Lily), and the other Jason’s father, it will forever remain
Heaven. This is because God can see, and He can see the future, which
means all of the devils, with the Queen being the last to beat out,
are out.

As with honesty, comes greed. With greed, comes desire, with desire,
comes jealousy, with jealousy comes divorce. This friction resists,
yet still resides in many relationships. It was Jason’s intentions
for Lily to remain faithful to him, and not get up and leave him like
Vanessa.

It was important for Vanessa to leave Jason as she felt betrayed by

him. This is because he was famous, as a result his family was
targeted. Vanessa was able to see through it, and thought he was not
deserving of his fame. This is why she moved to Northern Norway, as
she heard the most beautiful woman lived there, and she wanted to find
a girlfriend. This is because she hated men, and thought she was a
lesbian as she was brainwashed by popular culture that homosexuals
exist, and it is their desire to find their redemption through love
with the same sex. This would not happen, as Vanessa did too much
MDMA. This resulted in her death. Strange enough, but what can you
do when things need to be put in reverse, or if you know a person well

126
enough it is possible to realize that they would do the opposite of
what they would intend to do through a form of freedom.

Paranoia is a feeling that intrudes the mind of many, especially when

people don’t want somebody to do an action that is disrespectful to
the person who is not in context. In this sense, it could also show
respect to those who are paranoid. That it is necessary to add her
here, (Julia), to adhere to these emotions, as it could be for greed,
or for love. The choice is yours. Do you want somebody to do
something because you want it to be good for yourself, or for
everybody else?

In all honesty it is obvious that everybody wants everything to be

okay for everybody who is anything to anybody at anytime because this
is what will make it remain the same, even though there are some
idiots who still have no clue what that means.

Mya was convinced that she was an Angel, which God took away from her,
because of her disrespect. That was when God was about to save her
life from police brutality. Because of this disrespect Mya was no
longer an Angel. This aided in her desire to pursue a fit of rage
through downtown Vancouver. Mya was lighting trees on fire with her
fingers, and eyes. Mya was the last demon to defeat, which had God
confused as she was continually flirting with Jason. Anyway, this is
when the city was about to be set on flames, but God told Jason. Let
it rain. This is when the police brought her into the mental
hospital.

All the while, Jason was having a good time, running track. This was
his favourite place to run track, back at Point Grey. He made it
there for six A.M. every morning, as it was before the students
arrived to class. It is at this moment that he recorded his fastest
lap, in exactly thirty-six seconds. Jason was happy with this, and
everything worked out. It rained for the next month.

“Since the police in Vancouver seem to like to not enjoy chaos, and
Mya’s powers were too difficult to defeat, they asked God once again
to put out a fire. He did this with one thought, a thought so sacred
it had the police in a squirrey of wondering how God could do this

127
when they made an oath that said if they believed in the devil they
would go to Heaven.”

Jason thought this, as he was being followed by Mya. It was now on

Jason to make sense of Mya. God needed another Homo sapien to stop
this madness. Although it was turning into disbelief for those who
did not believe.

This is when God turned Mya into an Ant, and this demon was then
frozen. Mya was transmitted to Jason, who was told to place the demon
back into the ocean. As simple as that, Mya died when she was put
back into the ocean, as ants cannot swim. God made a miracle, by
saying that Mya could not change into another entity, and Mya washed
upon the shore. This is when God said no more. This echoed
throughout Heaven, and the last demon was defeated. Mya was left in
the sand to drown and become mud, and enter deeper terrain. No bird
could reach her again.

“Write whatever you want, because we flaunt, but what happened to our
music, I heard somebody tried to use it, so what is up now, can we
make music, or bow, or throw myself off the roof.”

This was thought in Jason’s mind by his enemy, Flow. Flow was
mistaken for someone else, and endured more torture than anybody who
has ever existed on Earth, Hell, Heaven, but not the thump, thump,
thump. Flow was curious how long Jason was God for, and he replied
since day three before He cried, which made Him die. This is when
Jane Bruce, who fronted more than any demon ever, told Jason He was
now God. She did this to brainwash Him into acting like a punk, which
He did not. Jason did not sleep for 67 days, nor did He eat, as
Cyanide existed in all of his medications, in all of the toothpaste,
in all of the food that existed in Vancouver.

This is why we try to conceive of a notion that is worth not knowing,

as it is worth selling your soul if you are possessed since grade two,
because of the Queen who also was my best friend (a.k.a. Hubby).
Jason had to let his enemy know that the Queen became a dog in
Kitsilano, and licked his finger after He put out one of two of the
biggest structural fires out on his own. Someone fronting as Jason’s

128
mom (Anna), turned her into a mutt, which Anna, who was not Anna,
rather some demon imposing as Jason’s true mother from Universe 33.
The Queen became a dog, which the imposing Anna called the Queen a
Mutt. Jason called the Mutt It, it all of the time.

Jason enlightened Flow (his enemy), of most of what He has been up to

the past couple of months, since chaos consumed all of Earth, which is
now Heaven for seven days. This is because Jason (God) has yet do
die, and will never die again. Flow wanted to say something to his
enemy, who he never fully realized was the true God of the entire
Universe (which is now 29, formerly 25). Jason was from Universe 33,
which was blown up by an atomic bomb, and makes Jason sad every time
he thinks of his true Mother, his birth Mom. Flow had a word or two
to speak on what has been happening in his enemies life.

“This is remarkable, this is not me, this is genius, this is free,

this is sweet, this is kind, this is someone fronting. Now shut up
and listen to me, as I am God and nobody should front on my friend who
is not God.”

Jason said this when He got mad.

“So, let’s go, where did all of my paintings go, well, you see, they
were so beautiful, and they were read by me, when I entered that
trance, that big one was the first thing I read when I entered that
trance, I kept seeing SEX everywhere I looked, and they also told me
to jump off the roof; however, I was strong enough to maintain, they
wanted to throw me into the skull, for this I maintained. Now, why
would I be put into the skull, because they want God down there, so
they could fly like a prisoner of war, to remember everything that
doesn’t make sense, to this, I promise, sense will be made of the
senseless, so they can handle their sentence.

Jason was mad at everything that was happening to his family, and all
of the clones that were acting out of order so make more clones of
Jason, his non-biological father, and whoever else we know, and Heaven
realizes this is so stupid. Right, Anrold, the Austrian body-builder?
How is it possible to be in two places at the same time? How can you
be rhetorical and sweet, right Truth?

Anyway, Jason was rumbling through his mind. A lot of rooms that are
not vacant, which means they are taken, so don’t enter, or you will
enter delusion.

129
-

“Hey Jason, I saw you just went to the bathroom.”

Lily said, as he went to the bathroom. Odd enough, his girlfriend

wanted to comment on this.

“Very observant, anyways, happy two day!”

“Si.”

“Si.”

“Attention, si, walo, diablo, existanto, thru, tantro, mantle,

importanto, simplicatico, diablo, diseas.”

“Lily, how did you learn how to speak in tongues, I thought only I
could do that?”

“I guess I taught that to you?”

“No, I guess we are together in this forever, and we speak at the same
time or something like that?”

“Sorry I spoke for you, you are the one who can speak in tongues.
You’re God? And I forgive myself for speaking for you, but it was
you, who was speaking through me. Now I am trying to confuse you, but
it just won’t work.

Bliss me liss.

Latin for shut up, Jason explained to prove to her that He was the one
speaking in tongues.

“Someone interrupted our Anniversary Lily.”

“I know, but what can you do?”

“Yes, it gets annoying when people impose.”

130
Jason said sarcastically. As He is used to people imposing all of the
time, so there is some redemption to be found in this for him. As he
always knows who it is, even when they think they’re going to win.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, that means, when someone speaks for you, even when it is in
their own voice, but it is most annoying when they sound exactly like
you, and tell you to do stupid things because they want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s how people convince other people to commit

suicide.”

“Yeah, not good. You know what Timothy O’Leary did to people who
would do LSD?”

“What’s that?”

“That leep would put them into a trance and tell them to jump off a
building, as that was their only trance to make it into Heaven, which
that leep convinced people that hell was Heaven, even though he would
leave them second guessing, and guess what I defeated him about three
months ago when I was running in the snow.”

Lily had a realization that this happened when people smoked DMT, and
they also entered a trance, and if they said demented, and the
following two words, or DMT itself they would have to talk to her
forever, and that is why they would say it is the best thing ever, to
try to pass it on to another person, and this is why DMT is suppose to
be the best drug ever, because it persuades you to do it. Right, Joe
Rogan? Brainwashing exists for all of God’s animals, even crows, who
He is talking to now, to clear the air about what was not meant to be
there.

“Lily, why do you continue to do this to me?”

Jason said in a muttered expression. As though as his voice had been

taken from him, as though his thoughts were altered in a way that is
inconceivable to believe unless you have been caught up in that
tangle. He sounded unlike Himself, and this caused confusion while he
was trying to explain Himself, and understand what his girlfriend had
done to him.

131
“I’m sorry, for fuck sakes. I want to kill myself.”

“Why did you cheat on me with Flow, you know, he’s my enemy, yo.”

Jason said this in His own voice for once, and said yo to fuck with
her, as He has noticed everybody these days is saying yo, especially
adults who are going through mid-life crisis’. This helped Him regain
His identity, and soul, which was never taken, the purple one, like
purple walls inside of halls inside of stalls inside of some eyes.

“Have you ever seen purple eyes?”

Lily asked Jason.

“Do you know what an Oxymoron is?”

Jason asked Lily.

“No, but I can tell you are trying to turn my eyes green as you are a
demented witch, and that rhymes with another word that I wouldn’t say,
even though you’re not a dog.”

Jason was distracted for a few moments, and then realized Lily was no
longer around, and he had a friend in mind that was undercover to make
sure she would be alive still, even though He believed she had some
ill intentions up her sleeve as well. Only time will tell.

Part V

Walking through the city after a period of grace misleading society

towards what it is, and the concept it involves; all because of a
book. While walking through the city on a gloomy morning, an open air
library beside a butt stop came across. A particular book was taken;
however, after reading the first page, after reading the synopsis and
autobiography, it was told that the book had sour energy even after
Jason attempted to cleanse it; however, He was also wearing a sweater
that was given to Him from the hospital, and He felt terrible. This
is because of coincidences regarding Husband and Wife.

Jason was paranoid, whatever. Everybody he knew was missing from his
social life, whatever. His days were left at a speed lessened prior
to his previous birthday. He adjusted his new mentality to a miracle,
and noticed how his collar bone was perfectly placed back into

132
position, as well as his right eye which was drooping down his face.
He consumed a more jovial personality, and felt young internally
throughout His entire soul. He was able to deal with challenges that
would seem inconceivable after the fact; however, He was always
rewarded with epiphanies, and a brief break before more of this was to
spontaneously take place. His instincts were beyond belief, and He
had a sense that would be as humbling as a female Tiger from China.
His dreams were either nightmares that were quick to wake up from, or
complete blackouts where He woke up feeling much better; and less
haunted from the weaning memories the dreams entailed.

Jason was busy being embarrassed by his friends inside of His mind,
which his doctor hassled Him on on their last encounter. He spoke of
telepathy in a strange way; using it at the same time. This oxymoron
caused Jason to get out of the hospital He was at, because of a
strange crossing at a street light. Jason counteracted the doctors
beliefs by getting him to blurt out what He was thinking, with a
recorder that infringed him on the mental hospitals disposition
towards Jason. The doctor was struck by the idea that Jason should be
released. His father came through in a Fatherly way lending the
support to head home to Saskatchewan as a place to recover, and live
with the support of His Mother, and Father.

North Battleford was in need of Jason’s (or God’s) love, as Vancouver

was cleansed by the devils which migrated there with the delusion to
end existence of the good people in Universe 29, and reconstruct an
empire constructed from evil. The balance had been broke, and evil
began to dissipate at a quicker rate because of all sixty-seven devils
being dehumanized, or broken down into soulless beings with death
sentences (to dissolve, or have a birthday which equates to death at a
specific age). This was yielded to one devil, Jason Pouline Collard,
who turns a specific age, on a specific date of the year that
followed. God made an oath that he could shed forth no evil on
humanity prior to this date, after his release from the same mental
hospital Jason was a patient in. This was a strong oath by God. The
devil, already sinned; his next birthday would also be the day of his
death. A strong oxymoron. Other oaths granted by God, were that
there would be no supernova, no recurring Apocalypse, and other ones
that would be riot causing to name but could be thought of with one’s
perception.

Upon God’s release from the mental hospital, there were waves of
strategy to defeat the devil, and all sixty-seven other devils.

133
“Hey Jason.”

“Hey Roland? I don’t know your name, you seem like someone I know?”

Roland was the devil’s name while being a patient at the mental
hospital.

“Everybody says that when they meet me.”

“I’m not sure who you are, so I don’t really know all that much about
you?”

“I’m here because of my own doing.”

“You admitted yourself into the mental hospital? That’s weird?”

“No, I was suicidal.”

Said the devil.

“Oh well, don’t do it.”

Said God, to devil.

“Or what?”

“It can’t be reversed.”

Said God, to devil.

He was being serious, as He always was, and had yet to say a lie in
His entire existence, or as God.

“No one has asked you yet, Jason?”

“About what?”

“When you first knew you were God, or how long you have been God for.”

His Wife expressed this to Jason, after having a telepathic

conversation, after they were done talking in person.

134
“Do you know it said some things about you in the paper the past few
months?”

“Yes, I’ve heard about this too; through, telepathy.”

Jason’s wife picked up on His satire, and continued to feel her

unrelenting love to Him. Jason expressed how she brings forth another
perception which grants him elation, and a greater perspective with
both perceptions combined.

Jason’s wife was out to go on a run, and they left each other holding
each other in each others arms with a kiss, and her ring. This was
their trade-off when either would go on a run.

135