걸리버 여행기 영화 대본 Guess what? You're hired.

I'm Lemuel Gulliver. Welcome to the team.

[ALARM RINGING]

I was hired...
[SIGHS]

yesterday by HR.
[IMITATING DARTH VADER'S BREATHING]

Doggy wants a bone. What?

Give me your press badge.

Doggy wants a bone.

No way, you're not my dad!

Floor 30. This is the editors' floor.

Then I shall take it by force.

Oh, yeah. This is the epicenter, my friend.

Oh, he's my brother!

Feel it. Feel it. Okay.

Then you shouldn't have made out with him.

Oh. Got a little something for you.

h
[GROANS]

i s
gl
Aah! God dang it! Sorry about that.

n
[IMITATING DRUMMING]

e
99
I will dry-clean that. Sorry about that. My bad.

9
[SEAGULLS CAWING OVER SPEAKERS]

/ 9 Just wait out here. What?

m
[SIGHS]

o
r.c
One second.

e
[HORNS HONKING]

a v
n
Here's your mail, sir.

e.
GULLIVER: So, your name's Dan?

af
Hey, you're Harold Jones, right?

c
Yeah, Dan... Dan Quint. Like on the resume.

Yeah.
Dan Quint. Born 1990. I didn't think that was
possible.
I loved your piece on the failure of derivative
markets.
Yeah, 1990.

[WHISTLING]
People are born every year.

Thanks. I look forward to seeing you around.

What do you hope to get out of being in the
mailroom, Dan?
DAN: Thank you...

I guess I hope to get out of being in the

from me and all the readers.
mailroom.

[CLEARS THROAT]
You got sass. I like it.
Dan, what are you doing? You can't talk to those
guys! I love to have a reason to procrastinate.

Why not? Yeah, me, too.

Okay, this is your first day. We are the mailroom You're not bugging me. There you go.
guys.
Well, I'll see you guys later.
Mailroom guys are meant to be seen and not
heard. Good to see you. Okay.

And ideally, not even seen, okay? Oh, boy. Let's go.

We're not on their level. We're little people.
No, I think you're just scared to talk to them.
I am not! Dude, listen. I am just respectful of
their workspace.
So, how long have you had this debilitating crush
on the travel editor?
Crush? On Darcy? No way, dude.
First of all, you're a terrible liar.

i s h
gl
I talk to these people all the... Second of all, why don't you just ask her out?

e n
99
I'll let you know as soon as I've made a decision, You don't think I could ask her out? No.
Nigel.

/ 9 9
I could ask her out whenever, wherever. It's no

o m
[IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] Okey-dokey, thank you. problem.

r.c
Good day, fellas.

ve
It would take me five seconds. "Will you go out

na
Good day. Good day, mate. with me?" "Yes." Done.

af e.
Gulliver, got any mail for me? I'm now going out with Darcy Silverman. We are

c
Yeah... Uh, no... Maybe.
boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Gulliver and Darcy?" "Cutest couple ever."

Let me check.
Okay. So, then, do it.
Hi, I'm Dan, from the mailroom. Hey. Darcy.
Pfft. Next time I see her, I will.
And I'll do whatever it takes to not be from the
mailroom. DARCY: Hold on! Hi, again.

[GULLIVER LAUGHING] Hey, Darcy.

Dan doesn't need to be bothering her right now. I just remembered, I get claustrophobic in
She's busy. elevators.

He isn't bothering me. How is your day going? Really good.

 man-date.
Just really, really, good.
I got you. You want a rain check.
What are you doing this weekend? So much stuff.
You want to wake up all bright-eyed and
It's just going to be... a bunch of stuff. bushy-tailed for the boss.

Cool. Yeah, it's cool. You're not my boss anymore.

Have a good one. You, too. What are you talking about?

[MOUTHING] I just got promoted.

Wait! I forgot something. That's impossible. You just got here.

Yeah, me, too. Yeah, they promoted me...

[KISS'S "ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE" PLAYING] to head of the mailroom.

[ON VIDEO GAME] You show us everything you've

i s
So I'm your boss now.
h
gl
got

e n
Look, Gulliver, the reason you didn't ask her out

99
You keep on dancin'.... and you never will...

So?
/ 9 9 is the same reason that you're not going to leave

o m the mailroom.

r.c
Yeah?

ve
You've been here 10 years, man.
Yeah!

na
e.
You peaked.

a f
You chickened out, didn't you?

c
I wasn't... I just... You know... I didn't chicken
You talk
sometimes.
a big game and that can be fun

out.
And you're pretty funny around the office, but
Being respectful of her workspace. Exactly. that's all you are.

Dude. It's just talk.

Speaking of which, after work... So you might as well face it...

do you want to go for a couple of brews and you're never really going to get any bigger than
shoot some poos? this.

Maybe a little man-date. [DAN SIGHS]

I don't think so. Especially because you called it a These talks. This is the worst part about being a
boss. Been to Mexico. Méjico, they call it...

Anyway, be in tomorrow at 7:00. in the locals.

We're going to sort of change things up... Africa, the Congo.

and we're gonna start with getting rid of "Guitar Which I know is in Africa because I travel and
Hero" during work hours. write.

MAN: Night, Darcy. So this is kind of what I want to do.

See you. Why don't you bring in a writing sample

tomorrow and I'll see what I can do.
Gulliver?
Perfect.
Hi.
Okay. Okay. Ahem.
Can I help you?
Hey, Gulliver. Hm?
Yeah, I...

i s h
gl
Nice job putting yourself out there.
I wanted to see...
e n
99
Yeah. Cool. Okay, bye-bye.
if you wanted to...

/ 9 9 Bye-bye.

o
You seem a little nervous. Are you all right?
m
r.c
[HORNS HONKING]
No, I'm fine. I'm just...
v e
na GULLIVER: I should've just manned up and asked

e.
[CLEARS THROAT] her out.

a f
c
I got so much going on. Now she's expecting a writing sample? What was I
thinking?
I wanted to pick this up, and then I'm on my
way. [SINGING] I saw some things In different lands

You want to apply for a travel writing Karate chop-- I gotta write this thing!
assignment?
No, I got nothing.
Hm?
Wow.
Yeah. Exactly.
I am so impressed, Gulliver.
I had no idea you wrote or traveled.
I had no idea you were such a good writer.
I do. I travel a lot. I go to New Zealand.
I kind of keep it secret. I don't like to brag about
my more literarian side. That's okay with you, right? Mm.

These samples are terrific. Good, because I thought...

And you exhibit such variety. I was going to have to do it and I get super
seasick. It's crazy.
This one about Oaxaca feels really classic, like it
came straight out of Frommer's... So, what do you say?

whereas the description of Barcelona is all... It's not a big story, but it's a start.

sassy. Mm-hm.

It's like I'm reading Time Out. So, the Bermuda Triangle, huh?

Mm-hm. Everything I need to know is in here?

Yeah. It is. Your contact's been arranged...

I think I have the perfect fluff piece to start you

i s h
and there's a boat waiting for you.

gl
off with.

e n
Yeah.

99
There's a guy down in Bermuda who claims he
has the secret to the Bermuda Triangle.

/ 9 9 [WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]

o m
He's either crazy or he's trying to bilk tourists. GULLIVER: Oh, hey!

r.c
But I figure...

ve
That's me!

na
it could be a fun way in...

e.
GULLIVER: Okay, precious cargo! No, no, no!

af
to explore Bermuda and the smaller islands
around it.
c Whew. That was close.

You do have boat experience, don't you? All you chickens, get out of the road, man!

I'm a... boat... man. GULLIVER: I don't know about this, Hank.

I'm a boatman. I mean, are you sure this is safe?

Okay, good... HANK: All this Bermuda Triangle talk is just to

sell T-shirts to tourists.
because I have to be honest, it was hard to find
someone to do this. It makes for good stories...

You have to be at sea for three weeks, completely if you want to skeet-skeet with the girls on the
off the grid. mainland.
This is your boat.
towards the Bermuda Triangle...
Ah. Knotfersail.
there's reflections everywhere. I should've brought
They really went pun-tastic on that boat. some sunglasses.

The dock master's really into puns. I am as hungry as a horse.

He believes it keeps the pirates away. I could eat 1 ,000 cheeseburgers.

Ship Happens. Okay.

HANK: This is you, and the dot is your Quitting time.

destination.
She didn't really mean to hurt me
You just follow that dot, and you'll find yourself
in a triangle. She didn't really mean to make me cry

In the Bermuda Triangle? Yeah. Yeah.

i s h
gl
And then to come home, you say I turn this But if you really want to go that way
knob...
e n
99
How to build your own robot?
and I follow the dot back home?

/ 9 9 Yeah, that's going to happen.

Yeah.
o m
r.c
She didn't really mean to make me cry
Easy. Easy.
v e
na I met this girl in a club one night

e.
Done. Done.

af
She was riding off like dynamite
I've got it.
c Oh, mama
I am fine.
After night was closing in
Fine.
We started....
It's not moving. Okay, where's the clutch?
[BUZZING AND BEEPING]
Cruising in my car one day
Darcy.
Minding my business on my way
[SNORING]
Oh, mama
Cheeseburger.
GULLIVER: And as you go out to the ocean
water... Darcy.
 GULLIVER: I'm paralyzed from the neck down.
Cheeseburger.
What's that crawling on me?
[GRUNTS]
Not fire ants. Please don't be fire ants.
Huh?
I am General Edward Edwardian, Commander of
[YELLS] Lilliput.

No! [OVER BULLHORN] All hail Lilliput!

[SCREAMS] SOLDIERS: All hail Lilliput!

Safety! Okay. EDWARD: You are herewith charged with aiding

our sworn enemy, the Blefuscians.
Rubber ducky.
[SOLDIERS BOO]
No!
You are my prisoner, and shall be presented to
Floaties! Floatie one.

i s h
our Royal Highness, King Theodore.

n gl
e
Floatie leg, floatie left... What say you...

999
9
floatie right, floatie head. beast?

m/
o
I am safe! [GULLIVER SCREAMS]

r.c
ve
There is no-- [SOLDIERS YELLING]

na
e.
[GRUNTING] [SCREAMING]

a f
9-1 -1.
c [SCREAMS]

[BEEPS] You are not real! Where is my--?

Oh, no. Where am I?

[SCREAMS] This must be a dream.

Oh, God, help me! I'm gonna close my eyes, then I'm gonna open
them, and I'll be home in bed.
[SCREAMING]
Okay! Okay!
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
My spear!
[GULLIVER GRUNTING]
Ow!
 I wanted a bracelet, not a great big hairy beast.
Bring the beast down!
Oh, dear! Are those restraints really necessary?
All right, boys! Release the hookers.
They are, my innocent, naive little bunny tail.
Pull, pull!
To prevent the giant beast from running rampant
Hey! and killing us all.

Pull! What is this thing?

GULLIVER: Hey, not cool. A Blefuscian spy.

Hey, that's my pants. That's not funny! I'm not a blue fish man. I don't even know what
that is.
Aah!
Will someone please just tell me where I am?
[SCREAMS]
You are in Lilliput.
Unlucky.

i s h
gl
Lilli-puh?
[SOLDIERS YELL]
e n
99
JINKS: The grandest and greatest land in all the
MAN 1: Heave!

/ 9 9
world. All hail Lilliput!

Heave!
o m ALL: All hail Lilliput!

r.c
ve
MAN 2: It was awful, horrid! Nightmarish! This is insane. This is insane.

na
e.
I was trapped in the valley of violent rumbles. Okay, enough. Come out with the funny cameras.

a f
c
I was nauseous! [SCREECHING]

[CHATTERING] MAN 1: Mealtime, beast!

Lift! Ah.

Squad, halt! Hay? I can't eat hay.

This giant is hereby declared... FOREMAN: Eat up! You have a busy day ahead of
you, beast!
the property of His Majesty King Theodore.
Enough with the beast!
All hail King Theodore!
I may be a giant, but I have feelings!
ALL: All hail King Theodore!
MAN 2: Ahem. Um....
I think you'll find that the hay... Dude, that is harsh.

is a bit more digestible if mixed with some... No, you must understand. I am of a lowly station.

sewer water. To legally court a woman of her stature...

I'm sorry that my countrymen call you a beast. I
do not think of you as a beast.
As a matter of fact, before you arrived...
I was the tallest man in Lilliput.
one must commit a valiant action...
and this is virtually impossible as a commoner.
Come on, don't be so hard on yourself. You seem
like a cool guy.

So I know how you feel. You could do something valiant.

Thanks, man. General Edward has led countless crusades...

I'm, uh-- and is known far and wide for his bravery.

i s h
gl
I can't reach you for a handshake. I'm Gulliver. I'm no General Edward.

e n
99
Horatio. Well, no offense...

Oh, man.
/ 9 9
this Edward guy seems like kind of a lame ass.

o m
r.c
You guys are so tiny. EDWARD: A lame what? Huh?

v e
na
Are you the only other prisoner in the whole It is my impression...

e.
dungeon?

af
that "lame ass"...
HORATIO: Yes.
c is a negative expression from whence you came.
I have been placed in this prison by the great
and glorious... If this is the case...

General Edward Edwardian... you shall be thrown in the stocks!

for sending a lascivious look to his betrothed... No, no, no! "Lame ass" means...

Princess Mary. great...

That's it? brave and courageous...

He put you in prison for hitting on his lady? heart-of-a-lion man.

Mm-hm. Is this the honorable truth?

 Left!
Yes, this is the honorable truth.
Did I tell you to stop fanning, peasant? Sorry.
EDWARD: Then, I am not just...
Sorry.
a lame ass.
They will be too busy with the fire to protect their
Oh, no. princess.

I'm a big lame ass! [BELL TOLLING]

The biggest! A fire!

I, General Edward Edwardian, am the biggest lame A fire is two bells, that was three. It's an attack!
ass in all of the land!
No, it actually sounded more like...
Heart of a lion.
two bells, and then, a pause...
Hurrah!

i s h
and then a third bell.

gl
GULLIVER: So, listen...

e n
So, it's an attack and a fire?

99
now that you know we're cool...

what do you say you loosen up these shackles a

/ 9 9
The Blefuscians! The princess!

bit?
o m EDWARD: To the castle, beast!

r.c
ve
No. Left, right, left, right.

na
e.
It is time for your life of hard labor to begin. Faster, beast!

a f
[SIGHS]
c [GULLIVER GRUNTING]

EDWARD: Left! Oh, no. The Blefuscians.

Forward! Do not kidnap me.

GULLIVER: Ow! Ow! EDWARD: Left! Please do not kidnap me.

Right! GULLIVER: Why is she just standing there?

Left! Of course, she's gonna get kidnapped if she--

Their defense system is operational. You speak not of the princess. Down!

We must move in stealthily. I shall save you, my princess.

My princess.
The Blefuscians are retreating.
Dude, I can help.
We are to have a victory feast.
We do not need your help, beast. You just stay
here. HORATIO: How lovely.

Nobody save the princess! [BELL TOLLING]

He'll never get to her in time. Please, you must The fire has raged out of control.
save the princess.
My father is trapped!
But you heard that angry little dingleberry. He
said I shouldn't. You guys have to invest in a more efficient
warning system.
I beg of you!
Your Highness!
It is too late. You are kidnapped.
[JINKS SCREAMS]
I am kidnapped!

i s h
gl
Out of the way. I have to put out a fire.
GULLIVER: Not on my watch.
e n
99
Out of the way.
[BLEFUSCIANS WHIMPERING]

/ 9 9
I'm coming through!
[BLEFUSCIANS SCREAMING]
o m
r.c
The beast!

v e
GULLIVER: Hop on, princess. Let's get you out of
here.

na Ah!

af e.
Fear not, my darling! I am here to save you. [GRUNTING]

c
Where has she gone? Yama-schatzi, that's hot!

Oh, she has been kidnapped. HORATIO: Princess, no!

GULLIVER: There you go, Princess. Princess, you mustn't.

Thank you so much. Father! He's burning!

HORATIO: Are you okay? You have served me with great honor.

Yes. We need access to a great deal of water.

Thank God. MARY: Do something!

[BELL RINGING] [SINGING] Oh, Lilliput, great kingdom...

[SOBBING] The beast!

I do not wanna do this. JINKS: Beast! Beast! Beast!

You have a plan? [CROWD CHANTING]

I have a plan, but you're not gonna like it. You guys, it was nothing, really.

[ZIPPER ZIPS] I saw a fire...

[CROWD MURMURS] I had some water, I released!

Don't look. Flood on aisle two.

Cease, beast! Does that translate here? Is that a joke here?

It's working! Huzzah! Flood on aisle two?

Yeah, it's working! [LAUGHS]

i s h
n gl
e
EDWARD: Out of my way! Thanks, you guys.

999
9
How dare you evacuate yourself... [JINKS CLEARS THROAT]

m /
o
on our great and glorious king! The king requests the honor of your company...

r.c
ve
Oh, no. Oh, no. at a banquet this evening. Do you accept?

na
e.
Sorry about the smell. I've been drinking sewer Yeah.
water.
a f
c
This is grounds for execution!
On one condition.

You free my friend, Horatio, and allow me to

I know, that was pretty gross. bring him as my plus one.

Let me pull up my trousers. He is jailed for... unlawful courting. He must

return.
MARY: Father!
That's my condish!
Father!
One moment, if you will.
Oh-- Aah! You look glorious.
Why are you doing this for me?
Thank you, my dear.
Because you're my buddy. I'm not gonna go to
Our savior! this thing without you.
 from Blefuscia...
I'm not gonna know anybody there. You have to
come. where are you from...

JINKS: Ahem! GULLIVER: Play it cool. beast?

[JINKS CLEARS THROAT] Uh, heh. Once again, totally cool to be just called
Gulliver.
The king requests the honor of your...
Some people believe you've come from the Island
and Horatio the Glovier's company at a royal Where We Dare Not Go.
banquet this evening. Do you accept?
[ALL GASP]
Yes, indeed.
Is there any truth to this rumor?
[PANTING]
No. Where's the Island Where We Dare Not Go?
I can make it. JINKS: Oh, God.
[ALL GASP]
HORATIO: Whoa. Oh, my God.

i s h
gl
THEODORE: There...
I'm forever indebted to you.
e n
99
beyond the fog bank.
It's not necessary. Instead, let's just do this.

/ 9 9
GULLIVER: I didn't come through a fog bank.
What is that?
o m
r.c
I'm from the island of Manhattan...

v e
You pound it with your fist!

na between the islands of...

e.
Come on, don't leave me hanging.

af
Staten and Long.
Yeah!
c This island of Manhattan, what sort of kingdom is
Now let's go party! it?

[CROWD CHATTERING] I'm not from a kingdom. I'm actually from a

democracy.
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
You see, we elect a president every four years.
GULLIVER: Is anyone gonna...
ISABELLE: You are so honorable...
I'm just gonna go ahead and get this.
and courageous.
[GULLIVER SLURPING]
Were you the president?
ISABELLE: So, since you're not...
Of course, he was, Mother. Look at him.

He is the most powerful gentleman in all the land.
I'm so sorry if Mother embarrassed you.
No, it's a common mistake to not think I was
president.
THEODORE: Were you a victorious president?
Yeah. I was pretty victorious.
Seriously, we are ridiculously good builders.
And we are your servants, awesome Gulliver.
I don't wanna take advantage, but, uh...
GULLIVER: It's day seven of my stay here in
Lilliput.
At first, me and the little guys got off on the
wrong foot...

Noble, as well? but turns out they're a pretty solid group of

dudes.
Yeah, I was super noble.
They're building me a temporary place to live.
I was actually known as "President the Awesome."
They threw me an awesome party just for
"President the Awesome." releasing myself...

i s h
gl
Pretty unlikely title. and the king sent out a search party to find my

e n
boat.

99
When do you return home, noble and awesome
Gulliver?

/ 9 9 In the meantime...

Pretty soon, I suppose. Yes?

o m I'm roughing it.

r.c
ve
I should imagine they're falling apart without Mm.
you...

na
e.
That is a good cup ofjoe.

a f
their greatest hero.

c
Well, without my boat, looks like I'm stuck here.
Good morning.

MAN 1: Morning, Gulliver.

THEODORE: Don't worry. My army will find your
boat. MAN 2: Morning! MAN 3: Morning!

In the meantime, we could find you Top of the morning to you, fellas.
accommodations.
HORATIO: Gulliver...
Like some hay to sleep on?
your media room is ready.
Anything. Anything?
[SCREAMS]
We are the finest builders in all the land. We can
build you anything. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your
father.
AUGUST [AS GULLIVER]: He told me enough. He You're gonna make lots of babies and die in a
told me... warm bed...

you killed him! in old age.

JINKS [AS DARTH VADER]: No, Gulliver. AUGUST: I'm cold.

I am your father. And also...

[GASPING] I'm king of the world!

No way. ROSE: Oh, Gulliver.

This is an impossibility! [SOBBING]

Yet somehow, it seems completely inevitable. MAN 1: Bravo!

Gulliver, you truly have lived a thousand lives. MAN 2: Encore!

i s h
gl
[AUGUST SCREAMS] EDWARD: Wait!

e n
99
King Theodore, it is time to perform our I'm sorry.
bi-weekly military exercises.

/ 9 9 You mean to say that you actually died in this

o m
Just one moment. We're watching the stories... shipwreck?

r.c
ve
of Gulliver's life. Yeah, I died.

na
e.
We have not missed a military exercise in over You actually died.

a f
three hundred years.

Dude!
c But I was resuscitated.

It's preposterous.
Get out of the way. We cannot see the screen!
No, but then I survived.
EDWARD: Move! Move!
It's ridiculous.
AUGUST [AS GULLIVER]: The Titanic is sinking!
You have to see the seq-- But you're okay now!
But it was meant to be unsinkable.
It's silly.
[ROSE GASPING]
Just silly, silly stories.
I love you, Gulliver.
[SCOFFS]
AUGUST: No, don't do that.
Pfft.
I need a head start. On you mark, get set, go!
HORATIO: So, let me get this straight.
HORATIO: I'm not ready to race you!
After you were brought back to life as an
avatar... HORATIO: Princess! Oh, Princess!

that's when you met your princess, Darcy Wherefore art thou, Princess?
Silverman of Manhattan?
Hello! Who calls?
Yeah. Can't wait to get back to her.
It is I, Horatio.
I noticed you had a little eye contact with the
princess. Why are you so far away?

How is it going? Good, yeah! I don't want to invoke the ire of thy father.

I think if things go well, within two to four But I must be honest...

years...

i s
GULLIVER: And tell ye...
h
gl
she may deign to speak to me.

e n
And tell ye...

99
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses.

Thank God.
/ 9 9MARY: Tell me what, Horatio?

o m You don't have to be rich to be my girl.

r.c
Now, you can't woo a lady by hoping she'll

ve
deign... Say it!

na
e.
to speak to you. You don't have to be rich to be my girl.

a f
c
To land a princess, you got to employ some
grade-A court-age.
You don't have to be cool to rule my world.

Horatio, these passionate words could get us into

Could you teach me? trouble.

Huh? There's no particular sign I'm more compatible

with.
This court-age that you speak.
There's no particular sign that I'm more
Yeah, I could teach you some of my moves. compatible with.

Yes! I just want your extra time and your...

Thank you. [KISSING]

If you beat me back home. ...kiss.

 Let's go.
[KISSING]
HORATIO: Yes!
Kiss.
EDWARD: To whom were you speaking, my
What beauty emanates from your lips! darling?

Think I'm gonna dance now. No one.

[TAYLOR GRAVES' "KISS" PLAYING] Me. I was-- I was speaking to me.

I think I'd better dance now. Myself.

Think I'm gonna dance now! What are you doing in my chambers?

[HUMMING] I have come to court you...

I've gotta, gotta as I always do...

GULLIVER: Put more mustard on it, baby.

i
at this time of day.
s h
n gl
e
Feel it. Move your hips. Or have you already forgotten who is your one

99
true eternal love?
Maybe we can do the twirl

/ 9 9No, no. Of course, I remember.

I don't think it's working.
o m
r.c
Remember what?

v e
You're not dancing good. Shake it!

na Oh, um....

e.
To have an attitude

af
That you are my one true...

c
I've never been wooed with such unique passion.
...eternal love. Eternal love.
It's working!
It's just that I was talking...
My love will be your food
with the giant and lost track of time.
Did I tell you?
I trust not this beast.
Yes!
Seems trustworthy to me.
I hear someone coming! Till the morrow.
He's very nice. You've done sewing.
Don't have to be cool
Sewing. Yes.
HORATIO: It worked! I did it!
An embroidery.
 You did it!
It's my grandmother's doily and I'm trying to
present-- You found my boat. I'm actually going home.

I captured a hawk today. Hey, you guys can fix this thing, right?

Did you? Of course, you can. You're incredibly awesome

builders.
He lay in a field. I came behind him and captured
him with my bare hand. Yes!

This is impressive, also. [GULLIVER LAUGHING]

Ah. Darcy is about to read the best article ever.

Fun. I'm talking Pulitzer.

Fun courtship... "Slide to unlock."

you and I have.

i s h
GULLIVER: What are you guys doing?

n gl
e
It is over now. [SOLDIER SCREAMS]

999
9
Must go. Is that my phone? Man, it takes a lickin'.

m /
o
Those villagers shan't pillage themselves. No signal, but I got 12 messages.

r.c
ve
We must alert General Edward of this at once. Mr. Popularity.

na
e.
We've found it. DARCY [ON RECORDING]: Hey, Gulliver. It's me.

af
It's Darcy.

c
I hear you, ring-a-ling-a-ding-dong.
I just realized why I felt like your writing came
Okay, I'm coming-- Oh. Hey, how's it going? straight...

EDWARD: Hello, beast! out of Frommer's. Because it does! Call me as

soon as you get this.
I come bearing the most terrific news!
Sergeant Peacock, what's it doing?
Yeah? Really?
He's checking his voicemail, General Edward.
We have discovered your ship.
Good.
The Knotfersail. Ha, ha, ha.
What's voicemail?
Clever name.
DARCY: Hey, Lemuel! It's Darcy. I've totally
forgiven you. Basically, it's just a bit more dramatic-sounding.

Wait! No, I haven't... Yeah, well, in that case, I guess I am a little

forlorn.
because now I have to get seasick on a boat to
cover your butt! Oh, Gulliver...

Thanks for this. you miss your princess.

And if you can't tell, that "thanks" was sarcastic. Well...

Darcy, again. The truth is, we're not super close.

I can't believe you lied to me. I trusted you. Oh, Gulliver.

Wherever you're hiding, stay there. She's kind of mad at me right now.

I never want to hear from you again. MARY: I am forlorn as well.

Mr. Beast...

i s h
I don't know what to do.

n gl
e
I've instructed our builders... I think I'm in love with Horatio.

9 99
9
to work day and night to ensure you are But that's great! Don't be forlorn about that.
seaworthy by week's end.

m /
o
Most people spend their lives looking for that and

r.c
Isn't that just the most fantastical news you've don't find it.
ever received in your life?
v e
na Go for it! Follow your heart.

e.
Great.

af
But my heart is promised to General Edward.

c
I can't tell you how happy I am...
And I cannot break that vow. He will lose honor
for you. and respect.

[SIGHS] And he will die of heartbreak.

MARY: Why do you look so forlorn, noble Okay. Look, he's just being melodramatic.
protector?
Is he? Yeah.
Me? Forlorn? No way.
Gulliver, I will miss you so much.
You do look quite forlorn.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
Just for the record, what's "forlorn" mean, again?
Is it "sad"? Maybe I should stay.
Don't you miss your subjects? Whoa! Inside castle voice. Please.

And the White House? Forgive me-eth.

And the Millennium Falcon? Forgive me.

Yeah. I think this job is beginning to stress you out.

But Vice President Yoda can run things without
me for a while.
Do you think the king would mind if I stuck
around for a bit?
Maybe a little time off would be the thing.
[SCOFFING]
Who else could run your army?

Well, of course not, Gulliver. THEODORE: Our new general, Gulliver!

You've made everyone here so happy. [CROWD CHEERING]

I can't imagine anyone in Lilliput not wanting you I won't let you down, King.
to stay as long as possible.

i s h
gl
And I look forward to working with you, Vice
EDWARD: Noble and valiant King Theodore.
e n
General Edward.

9 99
9
I trust-eth not this beast, Gulliver who lives-t in Hm.
our midst-ith-ith.

m /
o
"Vice General." Vice!

r.c
He can now leave-th but he chooses to stay. And

ve
furthermore.... I've never been a Vice of anything.

na
e.
I do not believe it who he say-eth he is-eth. I can't be expected to take orders from that

af
gargantuan fool.

c
I most-eth humbly disagree-eth.
I would rather take orders from a woman.
And why-eth must we always go on with these
"eths"? You are relieved. Thank you, Vice General
Edward.
Because we speak officially-eth.
All right, Gulliver, protect against this.
Forget it. From now on, even when speaking
officially... They have turned off their defense system.

we must get rid of these "eths." Alert the king, and prepare the armada.

Official speaking is... Oh, no. Our defense system has failed.

an illustrious Lilliputian tradition! We shall never reach our ships on time.

Careful now. Mind yourselves.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, what a mess.
Time to vanquish.
They are defenseless.
LILLIPUTIANS: Whoa!
Cease fire and ready the troops!
[CROWD GASPS]
Gulliver! GULLIVER: Mm-hm.
Ooh! It's cold!
HORATIO: The Blefuscians attack!
Ha, ha! Whoo!
Are you sure? Yes!
No problem.
Please, we need you. You're our general.
You're going down!
[SOLDIERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
Why have we stopped?
[BELL TOLLING]
It's him.

i s h
gl
THEODORE: Good lord!

e
Hey.
n
99
It's the entire Blefuscian armada!

I know.
/ 9 9
Hey, dudes.

o m I'm Gulliver.

r.c
Finally! Our general has arrived.

ve
I come in peace. Listen...

na
What's going on? I heard the bells.

e.
they want me to vanquish you, but I don't want

af
As our mighty general... to vanquish anybody...

c
you must lead the army to save Lilliput... and you don't want to be vanquished.

and vanquish the entire Blefuscian armada. Let's just pretend, okay? I'll go crazy.

GULLIVER: You want me to... You act all scared and just follow my lead, all
right?
vanquish all of them?
Sell it!
Yes, please.
Okay. Here we go.
Every last one of them.
Unfurl the sails!
Yeah, fine.
Hard to starboard!
Thank you, fair Gulliver.
Battle stations. Pound it.

Prepare positions. Respect. Well done, Gulliver!

Move! Move! SOLDIER: Awesome! Ha!

This truly is a battle for the ages. You say you wanna

It truly is. Go for a spin

[YELLING] The party's just begun We'll let you in

Okay, so now, I'll just tell them you were too swift Pass! That's a foul! That's disgraceful!
or whatever and--
[LAUGHING]
How come you all turned around?
Goal!
Fire!
The beast is victorious.
Oh, no. That looks painful.

i s h
gl
Goal!
[GROANING]
e n
99
All right!
CAPTIAN: Move!

/ 9 9 Yeah!
I'm invincible.
o m
r.c
Guys, this is what I'm talking about.
Yes!
v e
na Look at that. With the billboards and the lights...

e.
Go on, Gulliver!

af
it's home sweet home. What can I say?
[ALL YELLING]
c Hey, could you guys send over a panzer division
[KISS'S "ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE" PLAYING] to my left shoulder, please?

Well done, sir! Well done! Excellent! Yeah, north, two klicks.

CROWD [CHANTING]: Gulliver! Gulliver! One klick.

Well done, you big, fat beast. Oh, yeah, that's the spot.

You show us everything you've got Okay, just a little off the top. Don't go crazy.

[CHANTING CONTINUES] And don't shave off my sideburns. I need those

mutton chops.
GULLIVER: Yes!
And you drive us wild We'll drive you crazy
 What?
You keep on shoutin' You keep on shoutin'
Yeah, friendship lagoon. It blows.
BAND [SINGING]: I wanna rock and roll
You're gonna be like, "We're friends, it's great.
All night I'm cool with that."

And party every day And you won't be cool with that!

I wanna rock and roll all night And it kills you inside.

GULLIVER & BAND: And party every day No. No, never!

I wanna Yeah, man!

Rock and roll all night You have to man up and be direct.

And you are Next time you see her, just tell her what's up.

My bitch And I double-defeated you

i s
"Hey, what's up, sexy?
h
n gl
e
because I was playing and singing "I hope it's not too forward, but I find you

99
incredibly sexy.
You did good, though. Let's try it again from the
top.
/ 9 9 "Never told you before but I'm into you...

o m
r.c
One sec, please. Pause game. "but I'm also into a lot of things, so don't get too

ve
excited.
Pause game.

na
e.
"Got a lot of things going on. I'd like you to be

af
I was just thinking. You're general of Lilliput now. one of them."

c
Shouldn't you be training the army? What if You see the way I mixed it up?
Blefuscia should attack again?
"I want you, but not that much." You try it.
Come on, man! No one's gonna attack.
Okay...
Not while I'm around. I'm a one-man wrecking
crew. should I use the face?

If you want to worry, you should be worrying If the face comes to you, but make it natural.
about how...
Don't make it a forced face. I just have one of
you haven't made a move on the princess yet. those faces.

You're in danger of falling into friendship lagoon. It sort of happens naturally.

My hands are sweating. What are you doing...

Go. in my chambers?

Okay. Ahem. I have come to court you as I always do at this

time of day.
Well, hello...
This is not the time of day for courting.
fine maiden with the wide, childbearing hips.
You cannot just barge in.
Yikes. You don't want to talk about wide
childbearing hips. I can court you when I wish to court you.

It's a good instinct. You're getting there. I am not in the mood to be courted. I have a
headache.
But try it again. But this time, more smooth and
sexy. It is your womanly duty.

No big hips? Section 4.2 of the official courting doctrine--

i s h
gl
No big hips. Edward!

e n
99
I think I got it. I am unsure about things between us.

Ahem.
/ 9 9 It be not you, it be me, but I'm very unsure.

o m
r.c
Well, hello there, slim. That make-th no sense.

v e
na
I ought to call you "potamus"... We are to be married. You are to be my bride.

af e.
because you've got no hip. We are not in love. We are not in love.

[LAUGHS]
c What do you love about me? Name one thing.

Do we have to be here for this? Inappropriate, Edward.

Take five, save game. Reach for it. One second.

Forget about the hips. Here's what you have to Okay, take your time.
do.
I find you...
GULLIVER: You have to make sure...
absolutely...
[FOOTSTEPS]
satisfactory.
[MARY SIGHS]
Ooh. No.
 VENDOR: Get your Gulliver's T-shirts! Dress like
That is not enough... Gulliver.

to say that someone is average or adequate or You, sir! Get your Gulliver's T-shirts here.
moderate.
Get your Gulliver's T-shirts here!
I want to be loved for who I am.
Gulliver's T-shirts!
There's an awful lot...
Look at him. He's handsome!
going on up here.
What do you want?
Is there? Now you're being cruel...
This beast...
and, frankly, melodramatic.
has transformed Lilliput...
And acting like a complete baby!
into his own sordid and rotten little kingdom.
You are acting like a little princess.

i s h
And he will do the same with your land if we do

gl
I am a princess! not stop him.

e n
99
But maybe you should... To save Lilliput...

act like a princess.

/ 9 9 I must first destroy it.

o m
r.c
Gulliver was so right about you. How do you suggest we accomplish...

v e
na
Why don't we all listen to the beast! Don't call such a dangerous task?

e.
him that!

af
[FOOTSTEPS MARCHING]

c
He's a big ugly beast and you should know better.
EDWARD: I have got stuff! Look.
Get out!
I'm showing you.
You cannot break our engagement! It is worse
than death! GULLIVER: All right! Welcome to the first ever
Lillapalooza!
Get out!
Let's get this party started with a little jam I
You will be sorry you ever crossed General wrote!
Edward.
[GUNS N' ROSES' "SWEET CHILD O' MINE"
Ugh. PLAYING OVER PA]

[CROWD CHATTERING] Right?

What are you up to in the morrow? Five bells? What does five bells mean?

In the morrow? Yes. There have never been five bells.

I am, uh... I'm just hanging. Yeah? Don't worry about it...

You know, so, yeah. Oh, um... because this guy throws down no matter how
many bells are a-ringin'.
Would you care to attend the Ball of the Moonlit
Glen with me? [CROWD SCREAMING]

The ball? Yeah. Don't freak, little peeps. This one is on me.

The ball is tomorrow? Mm-hm. You must be kidding me. This is five bells?

Right. Maybe. Pfft!

GULLIVER: It's a pretty tasty jam! [GULLIVER CHUCKES]

Pretty tasty jam. Ahh. It's cute.

i s h
n gl
e
Why are you acting like this? Edward, you traitor!

9 99
9
Acting like what? Why are you being so strange? How dare you forsake your Lilliputian brethren!

m /
o
I'm... I only forsooked after I was forsooken.

r.c
ve
I'm a gentleman merchant about town... The forsookingness ends now!

na
e.
and I have got to keep my options open. I challenge you to a duel!

a f
Do you?
c ALL: Ooh.

That's what I've been told. Ooh. Cool. Whatever.

I'm not an option. I'm a lady. So, you accept?

I know you are, and I love ladies. Oh, yeah! Yeah, I accept your duel.

Believe me-- Okay! Oh, goody!

I'm sorry. I was-- Make a move.

[BELL TOLLING] Ha, ha!

Five bells! Wow, you are hard.

Okay! I lied.

Just... [CROWD GASPS]

stretching out the hammies. I knew it!

It's a good thing to do before the duel. I hereby banish this beast...

[GROWLS] to the Island Where We Dare Not Go...

You brought this on yourself, beast. never to return to Lilliput again!

Do you surrender, beast? SENTRY: Take your positions!

Sure, yeah! Whatever! Please, Gulliver.

EDWARD: No, say it properly. Hey...

Say you surrender. Oh, yeah. is this Island Where We Dare Not Go really as bad
as they say?

i s h
gl
Say it! Say it! Say, "I surrender!"

e n
It's delightful!

99
I surrender! I surrender, I surrender!

You win.
/ 9 9 [GROANS]

o m Okay.

r.c
It hurts my butt.

ve
No little people anywhere. That's a good sign.

na
You cannot surrender! You are our most glorious

e.
protector! Hello! Is anybody here?

a f
c
You're President the Awesome! No way.

ISABELLE: And you and Captain Sparrow defeated [GROWLING]

the Joker and Magneto!
Aah!
And you and Jack Bauer had only 24 hours to do
it! SENTRY: Raise the standard!

I didn't do any of that stuff. MAN 1: Let's lose this rubbish!

I'm just a guy from the mailroom. MAN 2: Lower away!

But you gave us your word! Can I not walk alone in my own garden?

I'm sorry. Go away!

Princess! Of Manhattan.

I've secured a boat. [SCREAMS]

We can leave tonight. [CLOCKS TICKING]

No, Horatio. [YAWNS]

But Edward is gonna force you to marry him. [RUMBLING]

I don't have any choice. Oh, no!

Please. Of course you have a choice. [GULLIVER SCREAMING]

No, you made that choice for me. [BURPS]

You don't understand. [GRUNTING]

Gulliver told me-- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

i s h
gl
Everything Gulliver said was a lie... I'm not doing this.

e n
99
including you. You got me in the diaper and the dress. I'm not

[COUGHING]
/ 9 9 doing teatime with you.

o m Go find another doll.

r.c
DARCY: Oh, I'm paralyzed from the neck down.

ve
[GROWLS]

na
What's that? What's crawling on me?

e.
[FABRIC TEARS]

a f
Not fire ants. Oh, please don't be fire an--

c
I am General Edward Edwardian...
Tea! Time for tea! Ha, ha!

[GRUNTING]
commander of New Blefuscia. All hail New
Blefuscia. Okay, we're kissing.

ALL: All hail New Blefuscia! Gentler. Let's just hold hands or something!

I must warn Gulliver. [GROANS]

EDWARD: State your name... What's up?

she-beast. What kind of toy are you?

Darcy Silverman. Top Gun G.I. Joe?

Cool detail. Darcy's here? Yeah.

[GULLIVER YELLS] Oh, no.

[GULLIVER SIGHS] She said she was gonna do the assignment

herself.
[HORATIO GRUNTING]
She's here because of me.
HORATIO: Gulliver!
It's all because of you.
Gulliver!
How could you lie to us?
Down here.
I...
What are you doing here?
I was afraid to tell you guys the truth...
Gulliver, you must return to Lilliput with me at
once. because it was just so great being a big shot for
the first time in my life.
Forget it, man. It's a no-go.

i s h
gl
I didn't want it to end.
No, you don't understand. Edward has--
e n
99
Snap out of it, man.
It doesn't matter.

/ 9 9 You think of yourself as this small little thing, but

o m
I may be a hundred feet tall, but I'm not half the that's not how I see you.

r.c
size of one of you little guys.

ve
Think about what you've done already. You saved

na
You have to listen. This is important. the princess.

af e.
No, this is where I belong. You single-handedly defeated the entire Blefuscian

c
As a giant girl's baby doll.
armada.

Didn't you? Come on.

Hey!
I'm your best friend.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen!
I wouldn't lie to you.
Blefuscia has taken over Lilliput...
You can do this.
and Edward has captured Darcy Silverman of
Manhattan. So, take off that dress and let's get out of here!

What? Am I really your best friend?

She's-- You're kind of my only friend.

Sweet, man. You, too, for me. What's up? What's up?

Let's go save Lilliput. What's up? What isn't up?

Yeah, let's go do this. Can we talk about the inverted whirlpool? Crazy.

Take me with you, yeah? And why is everybody calling me your princess?

One sec. There we go. They don't. I think you misheard.

Oopsie-daisy. I got you! THEODORE: I see you have...

Okay, officer... returned for your princess.

I'm just gonna borrow this parachute if it's okay He did, right there. He just called me your
with you. princess.

You don't need it anymore. That's because everybody is a princess here.

Eww.

i s h
I forgot to tell you, it's just sort of a thing.

n gl
e
[SCREAMING] If you wish to speak to your one true love

99
privately...
HORATIO: This isn't safe!

/ 9 9 we shall cover our ears.

I'll let you--
o m
r.c
One true love?

v
Thanks, Horatio. Good luck.
e
na You told them I'm your one true love?

e.
I got this.

af
Is now a good or bad time to tell you...
Darcy.
c about the crush I've had on you for the last five
Darce. years?

Gulliver! Hey. Really?

I'm coming over there. Yeah, I totally have a crush on you.

Gulliver! Shh, shh, shh! Is that why you bring the mail cart around, but
none of the mail is for me?
Are you okay? I can't believe you're here.
Yeah... Ahem.
I mean, of all the places, right?
Yeah.
What... Uh...
And I...
 [CROWD CLAMORING]
I told everybody that you were my girlfriend.
LILLIPUTIAN: We're all with you, Gulliver.
It's really embarrassing.
Hey, Edward.
I think it's kind of sweet.
If I win...
We must focus because we have to book...
Lilliput returns to her former glory.
to the boat and get out of here. We're
surrounded by little people. And if you lose...

Darcy, listen to me. this is what happens to Lilliput.

I would love to book with you over to the boat [GASPS]

right now, but I can't.
[GULLIVER GRUNTING]
These little people have grown very large in my
heart. Oh, I've made a slight improvement.

i s h
gl
They depended on me... Shocking, isn't it?

e n
99
and I let them down. [CROWD GASPS]

And I have to do this first.

/ 9 9 Yeah!

o m
r.c
King... Hey! That's not fair. He's cheating.

v e
na
if it's all right with you, I'd like to be your I've got to do something.

e.
glorious protector again.

af
[GROANS]
I don't know.
c EDWARD: Now do what you do best...
How are we to believe anything you say, Gulliver?
beast, and run along!
Because my word is my bond.
No way. Not today.
This time, for real.
I've always liked you, Gulliver.
I promise.
I've always thought we had a real spark!
Gulliver. Hm?
Fear not, Gulliver! I'm on my way!
You work in the mailroom.
Oh!
Not today I don't.
Aah!
[GULLIVER YELLING] Who's also super cool...

Gulliver! No! and a stone-cold fox.

Now stay down this time, beast! THEODORE: Horatio!

[YELLS] Do you realize what you've done?

It is on! You have committed an act of valiance.

[YELLS] I hereby...

Go, Gulliver! give my permission.

Yes, Gulliver! Go! GULLIVER: Yeah.

Yes! EDWARD: Nobody move!

Go on, Gulliver! You can do it! Get him! Halt! Stop!

i s h
n gl
e
[EDWARD GRUNTING] I have kidnapped the princess.

999
9
Help-eth. You have been kidnapped. Congratulations.

m /
o
Bouche! Enough with the kidnappings!

r.c
ve
Now, that's a wedgie! Bouche!

na
e.
Yay, Gulliver! ALL: Bouche! GULLIVER: Yes!

a f
c
Yes! Well done! Come on, Gulliver! Listen, I plagiarized all that stuff...

[BOTH LAUGHING] because I thought you'd never go out with a dude

from the mailroom.
You did it! Did you see that?
And I'm sorry, that will never happen again.
I wedgied him back to the second grade!
So, yeah, coffee...
I'm so, so sorry.
THEODORE: I condemn you and all Blefuscians to
I hope that you can forgive me for the way that I the gallows.
behaved.
Prepare for war!
You're not an option...
No...
you're the most beautiful lady in all the land.
you prepare for war!
War can't give life
Oh... I have to do one more thing, real quick.
It can only take it away
Kings, kings, come on!
War!
Guys, what is it with you...
Huh! Good God, y'all
and the executions...
What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!
and the gallows and the stocks...
Say it again, y'all
...and the war?
War!
Seriously, war?
Huh!
Why do war? What is it good for?
Yeah
Absolutely naught!

i
What is it good for?
s h
gl
[SINGING] War!

e n
Absolutely nothing

99
ALL: Huh!

Yeah What is it good for?

/ 9 9
Listen to me

o m Peace, love and understanding

r.c
Absolutely naught!

ve
Tell me, is there no place
Say it again, y'all

na
e.
For them today?
War! Huh!
a f
c
Good God, y'all
They say we must fight To keep our freedom

But Lord knows There's got to be a better way

What is it good for?
War! Huh!
I find it good for absolutely nil!
Good God, y'all
Oh
What is it good for?
It's an enemy to all mankind
Tell me
The point of war blows my mind
Say it, say it, say oh!
Life is much too short and precious
War! Huh!
To spend fighting wars these days
Good God, y'all Whoa, just the mailroom?

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing Mailrooms are where it's at. Right, Dan?

Just stand up and shout it! Yeah, I don't know why you would say that.

Huh! That's where all the greats start.

[ALL CHEERING] Remember, there's no small jobs.

You're gonna miss your big friend? Just small people.

A little. Teeny, tiny, teeny little people.

Yeah? A lot. Remember I told you that? There are no small

jobs.
Oh, dear.
Just tiny, tiny, people.
Oh...

i s h
Can I take you to lunch?

gl
[MIKE DOUGHTY'S "(I KEEP ON) RISING UP"
PLAYING]
e n
Of course you can...

999
9
I'll keep up risin' up Well, I'll keep up risin' up my fair princess.

m /
o
How was Papua, New Guinea? I'll keep up risin' up Well, I'll keep up risin' up

r.c
ve
It was hot, sticky... Every day, I'm risin' up

na
e.
and the most mind-boggling place I've ever seen.

a f
c
The most mind-boggling place you've ever seen?

Okay, second most mind-boggling place.

Oh. Sorry.

Danny!

Got your morning mail, Gulliver. ※1000편 이상의 영화, 미드, 원서, 오디오북
으로 공부하기 원하시면 여기를 방문 가입해
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
보세요.
DAN: Darcy. Who's your friend?
http://cafe.naver.com/9999english
I'm Mark. I'm just the new guy in the mailroom.