Why are people reactive?

Reason

Our brain likes efficiency. It tries to find the easiest path, and giving up responsibility
to others is easy. With time, this can become a habit and the pathway gets stronger.

Proactive
e
tiv
ac
Re
Although it’s easier at
first, taking a reactive
path makes things

e
harder in the long run.

tiv
ac
Re
 Reason

By being reactive, we can avoid dealing with difficult problems and painful emotions. By
embracing the idea that we have no control over our lives, we don’t have to work to fix or
process things. We can just feel sorry for ourselves and complain instead.

I had a similar No point. Nothing

problem. Can I can improve in my
share what helped life. It’s just the way
me? it is.

Problem
It might ease pain for a short time to take a reactive approach, but
the more you avoid problems and pain, the bigger they grow.
 Reason

I’ll give my
Sometimes we are reactive responsibilities to
everyone else so I
because we believe we will
can be free!
have
Mymore
choicesfreedom if we
My happiness
give away our My choices My happiness
responsibilities to others.
My emotions My life

My emotions
My life

But actually, being reactive gives you less freedom. If you give up
responsibility, then other people get to control things like your happiness.
 Reason

Influential people in your life may live their lives with a reactive
mindset. You may be repeating the example you have seen.
 Reason

When you have experienced abuse or trauma, it is common to feel a loss of control
and to feel powerless. It is also normal and even healthy to feel sorry yourself at times.

But this can develop into an unhealthy victim mentality, where you are unable to see the things
in your life you do have control over. This can lead to even more suffering and problems than
the initial abuse, trauma, or discrimination caused. It limits your ability to heal.
 Being a victim
• A victim is someone who experiences
harm from other people or circumstances.
This might include abuse, discrimination,
or experiencing very traumatic events in
your life.
• Acknowledging that you have been a
victim can be healthy and productive. It is
often necessary to fully recognize how
things have affected you in order to heal.
VS Victim Mentality
• A victim mentality is when you begin to
view everything through a lens that nothing
is your fault and you can’t control anything.
You refuse to take responsibility for your
behavior, the consequences of your
behavior, and the direction your life goes.
• Developing a victim mentality is
unhealthy and destructive. It prevents
you from healing.
 Do
YOU
ever have a
victim mentality?
Here are some key words and phrases that might help you see a victim
mentality in yourself. Do you ever think or say things like this?

Everyone
mistreats It’s not fair! They MADE me
me. do/feel/say that.

You left me This always Someone

happens to should fix this.
no choice. me!
 The overall attitude of someone with a victim
mentality is feeling that they are mistreated.

By other people.
No one is as
misunderstood as
me. By circumstances.

By the universe.

By everything.

Overcoming a victim mentality isn’t denying that people can mistreat

you, it’s learning to take ownership over what you can.