DOMINICAN COLLEGE OF TARLAC

Emotional Intelligence & Personal Relationships

By

Duaqi, Ken Saimo

Manalang, Maryjoy
Mendoza, Mark Jolo
Pascual, Teddy, Jr.
Torio, Abish Gale
Valencia, Kenneth

October 2018
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Emotional Intelligence
-The Capacity of recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for
motivating ourselves, for managing emotions in ourselves as well as In our
relationships.

Peter Salovey’s Five Domains of Emotional Intelligence

1. Self Awareness
-This is where we recognize our own emotions and understand them
as well as how we verbalize our emotions.
2. Managing Emotions
 We can’t control our emotions, but we can control how long we feel
it, this is where we manage our own emotions like managing our
anger to prevent doing things or saying this that we might regret.
3. Motivating Oneself
 Being Optimistic and looking for positive happenings despite being
stressed and loaded with work or projects.
4. Recognizing Emotions in others
 Emphaty, Understanding the emotion in others.
5. Handling Relationships
 Knowing or understanding your emotions and the people around
you can help in handling relationships since one understand both
sides to lessen and resolve conflicts easily.

Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligence

 Organizing Groups
-People with High Emotional Intelligence are the best suited for
organizing groups and leaders, since they can understand the
emotions of their group and judge accordingly.
 Negotiating Solutions
-People with High Emotional Intelligence are most likely to resolve
conflicts efficiently since it can understand both sides and propose
an optimal solution to the problem.
 Personal Connection
-How we connect to other people around us.
 Social Analysis
-People with High Emotional Intelligence are likely to think the
both sides and acknowledge the side of every person.

Emotions
-refer to variation in level of arousal, affective state or mood, expressive
movements and attitude.

Paul Ekman’s Six Basic Emotions.

 Happy
 Sad
 Afraid
 Anger
 Surprise
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Goleman’s Eight Main Families of Emotions

 Anger
 Sadness
 Fear
 Enjoyment
 Love
 Surprise
 Disgust
 Shame

Emotional Intelligence Directly Affects:

 Physical and Mental Health
-It can directly affect physical health since we might not eat or
sleep if we lost a loved one if we have lost somebody but it can also
affect how we perceive things and change our mindset for the
better.
 Work Performance
-It can affect work performance when we are optimistic about
things in work even though we have many deadlines and loaded
with work or projects.
 Relationships
-Having a high emotional intelligence can help build trust more and
manage our emotions as well as recoginizing the emotions on us
and the people around us and how we handle our relationship well.
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Personal Relationships

Personal relationships refer to close connections between people formed by emotional

bonds and interactions. They are necessary for our emotional and physical well being.

IMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

 Live longer
 Deal with stress
 Be healthier

THREE (3) ATTACHMENT STYLES

 These attachment styles are developed from infancy and can affect an individual’s
behaviour in a relationship in the future.

1. Secure attachment – when the primary caregiver is present and available most of the time
and when the child’s emotional needs are met, a sense of security will be developed.
2. Avoidant attachment – when the primary caregiver is cold and detached, the child develops
fear of rejection, premature detachment, and self reliance.
3. Anxious – ambivalent attachment – when the primary caregiver is not consistent in terms of
presence and meeting the child’s emotional needs, the child will develop hesitancy and
separation anxiety.

THREE (3) STAGES OF FALLING IN LOVE

 Lust
 Attraction
 Attachment

OTHER CAUSES OF ATTRACTION (by the Rozenberg Quarterly)

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 Transference effect – when the
people we meet are immediately liked or disliked by us, this usually reminds us of someone
in the past who has affected our sense of self and our behaviour.
 Propinquity effect – when we develop a sense of familiarity with people who live close to
us, work with us, or go to school with us, leading us to like them more.
 Similarity – we often like people who we have similarities with such as social class,
background, religious beliefs, age, education, and hobbies.
 Reciprocity – when we like people who like us back. The more we are liked by someone we
equally like, the more we behave in ways that promote mutual feelings of liking.
 Physical attractiveness – several research studies were conducted to confirm that physical
attractiveness is a major factor in liking someone, and usually, first impressions count a lot,
too.
 Personality characteristics and traits – people get attracted to two characteristics that lead
to liking the other person, these are; empathic persons, who exude warmth, sympathy, and
optimism; and socially competent people; who are good communicators and enjoy good
conversations.

WHAT IS LOVE?
 Strong feeling of affection and concern towards another person accompanied by sexual
attraction
 Feeling of devotion and adoration towards God or a god
 Sexual desire or activity

COMPONENTS OF LOVE
(Steinberg’s Triangular Theory of Love)
 Intimacy
 Commitment
 Passion

VARIABLES RELATED TO STRENGTHENING COMMITMENT

 Accumulation of all rewards of the relationship – most determinant of satisfaction in a
relationship; rewards of the relationship including support from each partner
 Temptation of alternative partners – the fewer options a party in a relationship gets
exposed to, the lesser the possibility of breaking the relationship
 Investment made by the couple in the relationship – important in maintaining commitment.

SPOILERS TO COMMITMENT
 Criticism – happens when there is the absence of unconditional positive regard for each
other in a relationship.
 Denial of existence of the problem – when one party eludes the presence of a problem and
refuses to discuss it
 Contempt – this is present when someone who looks down on the party as inferior does not
give unconditional positive regard

RESPONSIBILITIES IN A RELATIONSHIP
 Be responsible for what you think and say to the other person.
 Be responsible for what you promise to do or not.
 Ensure the relationship is mutually beneficial.
 Respect the other parties involved.
 Be ready to provide support when needed.