Gabriel Borges

Todd Thaler

Cookie Monster

KERMIT

Hi ho, Kermit the frog here, and this is a mystery box. You see, if anybody can guess from the
clues I give what is in this box, then they can keep what is in the box.

COOKIE MONSTER

Is it cookie?!

KERMIT

Uh, no, it is not a cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

Bye, Bye.

KERMIT

But wait a second, Cookie Monster.

COOKIE MONSTER

What, what, what?

KERMIT

There are clues.

COOKIE MONSTER

Who care about clues without cookie? Me want cookie! Hah, no cookie, no guessing game from
clues. Arrividerci, Frog.

KERMIT
 But wait a second, Cookie Monster. Come back here.

COOKIE MONSTER

What, what, what?

KERMIT

You see, I’ll tell you what I’ll do.

COOKIE MONSTER

Okay.

KERMIT

If you guess what is in the box, I’ll give you a cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

It’s a horse, it’s a cow, it’s a cotton ball, it’s a pogo stick, it’s a rump roast.

KERMIT

No, no, no, no, no.

COOKIE MONSTER

It’s a mouse.

KERMIT

No, no, no. Those are wild guesses.

COOKIE MONSTER

Well, me wild about cookies.

KERMIT

Yes, but you haven’t guessed right. Now, maybe if you listen to the clues.

COOKIE MONSTER
 Ok, me all ears. OK, what’s first clue?

KERMIT

OK, the first clue is that it is something to eat.

COOKIE MONSTER

It’s a cookie.

KERMIT

No, it’s not a cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

Not a cookie. Ah, give me second clue.

KERMIT

Okay, the second clue is that it is something round.

COOKIE MONSTER

A cookie.

KERMIT

No, it’s not a cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

Not a cookie. (laughs) Sorry, third clue.

KERMIT

Third clue…

COOKIE MONSTER

Just thought it might be cookie off chance.

KERMIT
 Yeah, no it’s not. The color of this thing is orange.

COOKIE MONSTER

Something to eat that is round and orange. IT’S A COOKIE!

KERMIT

(yelling) NO, it is not a cookie!

COOKIE MONSTER

Just thought one last chance, you know?

KERMIT

No, it’s not a cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

OK, um, me give up.

KERMIT

What? How can you give up? It’s something to eat that’s round and orange. It’s an orange, it’s
an orange!!

COOKIE MONSTER

ME like that fourth clue. Is it an orange?

KERMIT

(yelling) Of course it’s an orange!!! I just told you it was an orange.

COOKIE MONSTER

Me guess right. Me get cookie. Give me cookie.

KERMIT

NO, you don’t get a cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER
 Why?

KERMIT

I told you what it was. I told you it was an orange. You didn’t guess it right.

COOKIE MONSTER

Frog.

KERMIT

What?

COOKIE MONSTER
c
You know life, life not all guessing games, frog. Sometimes, we have to care about the friends,
especially friends who love cookies, friends who love cookies so much they play silly guessing
games because maybe, maybe, just maybe a frog, a very handsome frog who has cookie will
give best, best friend who no can’t live without cookies, give that best friend a cookie. But, if
friendship mean nothing—

KERMIT

Ok. Ok. Here’s your cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

One measly cookie? Speech like that deserves at least five cookies.

KERMIT

I only had one cookie.

COOKIE MONSTER

Ok, in that case, me settle. [EATS COOKIE NOISILY]