Mr.

George Gilhooley
XYZ Company
87 Delaware Road
Hatfield, CA 08065
(909) 555-5555

Date

Dear Mr. Gilhooley,

I am writing to apply for the programmer position advertised in the Times

Union. As requested, I am enclosing a completed job application, my
certification, my resume and three references.

The opportunity presented in this listing is very interesting, and I believe

that my strong technical experience and education will make me a very
competitive candidate for this position. The key strengths that I possess for
success in this position include:

 I have successfully designed, developed, and

supported live use applications
 I strive for continued excellence
 I provide exceptional contributions to
customer service for all customers

With a BS degree in Computer Programming, I have a full understanding of

the full life cycle of a software development project. I also have experience
in learning and excelling at new technologies as needed.

Please see my resume for additional information on my experience.

I can be reached anytime via my cell phone, 555-555-5555. Thank you for
your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you about this
employment opportunity.

Sincerely,

FirstName LastName
 20th September 1995

The Personal Officer

Uneedus Employers,

Dear Sir/Madam

JUNIOR CLERK

I wish to apply for the above position which you resently advertised.

I am a very enthusiastic young person who is keen in working for an organisation such as yours.
My references are attached.

Thank you for your time.

(Signature)

Jay JOHNSON

Other points you couldn't see....

Handwriting was very sloppy. Numerous ink fingerprints on letter
(obviously pen was leaking badly).

APPLICANT 2
This letter was handwritten

24 Aries Street
STARSCOPE 2231

16th Sept., 1995

The Personnel Officer

Uneedus Employers,
P.O. Box 136
WOMBAT NORTH 22223.

Dear Sir

       I refer to your advertisement in last Saturday's "Daily News" and I feel that I have the
necessary requirements for this position.
       After spending several weeks during my school holidays and on work experience, working in
the offices of several firms, I am confident that I am suited to this particular work situation.

       I have attached a copy of my résumé for your perusal. Please note that I can be contacted by
telephoning my Uncle on 2189933

Yours faithfully

(unreadable signature here)

APPLICANT 3
This application was typed

16 Thomas Street,
September 14th, 1995.

The Personnel Manager,

Dear Sir or Madam,

    I wish to apply for the position of junior clerk which is presently vacant in your organisation. I
have enclosed copies of my résumé and references as you requested. I am very interested in
office work and I have worked on several occasions assisting my sister-in-law with her small
business. I find this type of work very enjoyable as it provides enough variety to keep me
occupied. I always seem to be discovering new ways of doing the different tasks involved and I
find this stimulating. I would be very interested in having an interview about this position with
you. I am available for this interview at any time. I can be contacted at the above address.

Yours truely,

(signature here)

Karry Meback

APPLICANT 4
This application was handwritten

TERRI SMITH
The Personnel Office, Uneedus Employers
29 Jacobs Street
PO Box 136
Victoria 3129
Wombat North 2223
17th September
 Re: Junior Clerk
Dear Mrs Brown,

     I would like to be considered for the above position that you are offering. I have been
working for the past three years in a clerical position with a major furniture company, which
provided me with the opportunities to developed the skills I obtained in the one year Technical
College course I completed. I am competant at operating a wide variety of office equipment and
am familiar with the numerous systems used in office administration.

     I have attached more detailed information on my suitability for this position in my Personal
Summary. I have also obtained a reference from my former employers which I can produce if
required. I hope to hear from you in the near future with regard to this application.

Yours sincerely

(signature here)

APPLICANT 5
This application was a combination of typed and handwritten

(handwritten)

126 Johnson Road,

TARRIGAL 2999
15th September , 1995.

The Personnel Officer

Uneedus Employers,
P.O. Box 136 WOMBAT NORTH 2223.

(typed)
Dear Sir/Madam,

I wish to apply for the position of:

(handwritten) junior clerk which you recently advertised.

(typed)
My name is Jerri Canne. I am 17 years of age and reside at the above address. My qualifications
and experience are shown in detail on the attached résumé.

Since completing the full-time day Secretarial Course at Tarrigal TAFE, I have been working in
a voluntary capacity as a clerical assistant with the Tarrigal Community Services Centre. This
has given me experience in office duties, typing and some handling of enquiries from the public.
I have attached a reference from the co-ordinator of the Centre, along with four other references
which you may find interesting.

I hope to be given an opportunity to discuss with you my suitability for this position.

Yours sincerely, (signature here)

Did you find the boo-boos?

FAULTS:

Letter 1: Late application, spelling mistakes, incomplete business address, ink blotches (very
messy), only repeats words from advertisement, says nothing new, didn't specify when/where job
was advertised, "thank you"?. This late, boring letter contradicts what it actually says.

Letter 2: Dear Sir, didn't say what job, every sentence is too long, didn't attach references as
asked (or at least didn't say they were attached), can't read signature (male or female?) -
thankfully résumé attached which hopefully will clarify name and sex.

Letter 3: Incomplete personal and business addresses, addressed to the Personnel MANAGER,
each sentence begins with 'I', no paragraphs, "yours truely"?, letter is typed.

Letter 4: No suburb/town, no year on date line, poor layout, didn't attach reference, no name
under signature (above address instead), person is too old for job, didn't mention why they had
left former employer, allowed one spelling mistake to creep in (could you find competant?).

Letter 5: Form letter (fill in the blanks style), typed, paragraph 2 unnecessary, too many
references attached, yours sincerely and Dear Sir/Madam don't go together.

GOOD POINTS:

Letter 1: Dear Sir/Madam, obvious which position application is for, enclosed references,
started using the language used in the advertisement to form the letter but did not enlarge on it,
printed name under signature.

Letter 2: Proper business format for addresses, almost a good introduction, good ideas in 2nd
paragraph, attached résumé and SAID that is was attached, pointed out that they had no home
telephone.

Letter 3: Attached résumé and references, good reason for liking the work, pushing the person
into following the letter up, name under signature.

Letter 4: Found out the name of the Personnel Officer (may be good), outlines all relevant
experience, attached résumé, yours sincerely and Mrs Brown are correct together.
Letter 5: Shows that although has not been able to get a full-time job, has been usefully filling in
time and gaining experience. "Form" letter may be a good idea if writing many applications but
can result in the reply not properly matching a particular position, pushes the person into
following letter up.

Looking at the list of faults and good points from this exercise, try to:

 draw up your own "Rules for Application Letters" chart which outlines simply the best
ways to write application letters which will create a good impression with an employer.

 try to re-write in your own words, two of the five letters from that exercise, improving on
them wherever necessary.

Look closely at the advertisement used at the start of this exercise:

1. write out a list of the important information it gives you about the job and the type of person
required and what it wants you to do.

2. write your own reply to this advertisement.