I woke up early and prepared fast for school. I took the one way jeepney going to Silver High.

I fixed my
eyeglasses as I seated and awkwardly tried to look on the faces of all the passengers inside the jeepney.
My school wasn't that far from where I live. Few minutes passed and I pulled the string the hint
when the jeepney to stop, my heart started to beat fast as I stepped my foot outside the gate of Silver
High.

The day will pass and you'll survive. I said to myself.

I started to walk inside the school and go immediately in my classroom. There, even I'm wearing
my glasses, everyone in the room seems blurred. The only clear spot I see is my chair and table where it
is my designated seat.

First bell rang, hint that the first subject is about to start and all of the students must be in their own
room.

Our teacher in Math came... with a new student. Teacher Teodoro announced that she's a
transferee and asked her to introduce herself.

"I'm karma. You should avoid me." she said in a very low bored voice.

With that she directly sat on the vacant chair while the whole class were whispering and some were
'boo-ing'.

Weird. I muttered. But not as weird as me.

Teacher Teodoro continued his lesson as if nothing happened.

When the lunch break rang, I do some warm up for a run marathon. I always do this. They say in order
to think fast you should do some exercise. So I run so fast from the third floor of our building until I got
to the canteen. The canteen were always crowded during lunch, so I thanked God for being the first in
line to buy six pieces of hamburger. And again, I run so fast going back in our classroom.

I also have to finish all our assignments before the class ends. I don't like to spend my time
working my assignments at home. Sometimes, after our teachers gave us homeworks, I've already
done it before the next subject starts.

"Sam, you done with Science?" said Billy. The only voice I mostly hear.
"You've done well for buying us our hamburgers, Sam!" another voice said and he tapped me on
my shoulder.

"What about tomorrow, Sam? Will you get us burgers and softdrinks?" Mike demanded.

I just keep staring at my shoes while these three large boys in our classroom surrounded me. I feel
suffocated.

"Sam! You better answer us! You're being rude!" Billy shouted as he unwillingly hold my chin and
let me look on his big round face.

"Ah-ahhh y-yes." I stuttered.

"You are so weak!" Billy shouted again but this time he pushed me and kicked me while his two friends
laugh and do the same to me.

I was kidding. I didn't need to run fast for brain exercise but to buy them burgers because they
don't want to be in a crowded place. I also didn't have to finish my homeworks at school so
that I won't spend it doing at home instead so that they can copy and borrow my books.

This is my life. I'm weak and afraid. My parents doesn't even know this. They just knew I am
top student in our class and doing great. I feel embarrassed and useless.

As Billy and his gang finished giving me punches and kicked, I lay on the floor and took a little rest. My
mother always asking me why my uniform always gets this dirty, and I'll say, I'm studying
hard that I get sweats. I hate this kind of life. Why all of the students in this school, why it has to be me
that they should bully? What did do to deserve this?

After taking some rest and got some strength to stand up and walk, I go back to our classroom and
continue listening to the lessons. As if nothing has happened because I'm used to this. I just think
that Billy and his gang's punches are my massage after a hard day. But the pain is too much.

My thought were flying to what ifs. What if I should end this? What if I could stop this? What if
they'll never see me again? What if one day, they'll regret what they have done to me?
What if I kill myself?

The bell rang for end of class. Everyone stand up and leave the room in their own way. I stayed.

Until no one is around.

I took the ribbons on our curtains and knot them. I left a letter I wrote just an hour ago. It's al

It's almost evening when I stood up on a chair. I knot the ribbon I made to the ceiling fan. I
inhaled and exhaled until my decision is final.

"I tried and I did it." I put the tie around my neck and closed my eyes as I'm about to step off of
the chair.

"Have you deleted your browser history?"

"Did you burn all the porn magazines you hid in your room?"

"What about those videos you always watch every night?"

I froze as a voice of female filled the empty room. I turned my head and saw the new student.
She's not showing any emotion but I can tell she's giving a strong personality. She
doesn't talk with anyone in the class. She's mysterious and sad.

"Are you even sure you want to die?"

"Because If you really want, I don't think tying a curtain ribbon in a ceiling fan would work."

I tried to took off the ribbon around my neck but I can't remove it so I move a little and slipped off
the chair.

I fell.
The next thing I knew I was hugging the floor.

The girl sighed and leave the room.

"You're digging your own grave, Sam. You just making it more embarrassing." I said to myself.

The next day my body still aches from the pain I received yesterday. I don't know what's
going to happen this day but lets just expect the worse.

Lunch break and I tried to run so fast to buy burgers and softdrinks but I have to line up in two lines and
I dont know what to buy first.

So I chose the softdrinks. I was glad I bought three of them and when I turned back to burgers line, I was
also feeling lucky because the line is getting shorter. So I immediately line up.

"Can I have six burgers, mam?" I pleasantly asked.

"Oh sorry darling, all of the burgers left are for reservation. I only have three patties left."

And my world stops. What should I do? Surely, Billy will get mad for eating one burger only?

"O-oh okay. I'll buy them." I just said with no choice.

As I nervously getting nearer to Billy and his gang's spot, I'm praying and sweating.
I'm preparing myself for another body massage I'll receive.
"WHAT?! ONLY ONE BURGER FOR EACH OF US?! YOU THINK I WEAK AND SMALL LIKE YOU?!" Billy took a
big bite on the burger I bought for them and chew it and then spit it out on me. He sipped the softdrinks
and spit it out to me.

His two friends do the same. They bathed me with softdrinks and chewed burgers. I feel disgusted. I feel
like I'm a trash. What should I do?

I changed my uniform for P.E. I just thanked God that they didn't punch or kick me.

Our teacher wants us to play football. So our class were divided into two and formed a two teams. I feel
okay because I am teamed up with Billy's.

In the middle of the game, I was confused. Why Billy and others are circling around me? As if they have
planned to do something bad?

And just my instinct said, they go on top off me and put me in dirt. They took of my clothes. They ran off
so I chase them naked. I tried covering my privates. They were running inside the building where many
students turning their attention to us.

I'm mad. I want to explode. I want to kick them all. I can't take these laughs I'm
receiving from everyone in the school anymore. Billy threw my clothes on the window. And pointing at
me. "LOSER!" He yelled and maniacally laughed.

I saw Mr. Teodoro just shaking his head on this incident. With that, I just wanted to melt and die. When
will this end?!

With no choice, I ran up to the roof top. I screamed so loud and cried out.

I'm ending this! I'm ending this! I dont want to live anymore!

I stood up and look down. With one step, everything will end.
"You want to kill yourself agai?" Said a calm voice beside me.

"I don't want this anymore! I want to die!"

"But have you deleted all your dirty things?" She replied.

I choked but my decision is final. "You don't care! I'm going to end this torture!"

"You sure? If I were you, I'd rather fight than running. You should be grateful you have someone
to fight against. You can live for that."

"Who are you?! You think you know everything?! You don't know the feeling to run fast and buy

Them food in just three minutes! You don't know the feeling getting punches and kicks just
because you didn't give them your homeworks! You don't know the feeling being top of the
class yet the top to bullied in this school! I'm tired of this! Of everything! I want to end this!"

"Okay. Go! Jump off. Is this what you really want?"

"Of course not! I dont want to die! I having so many things I want to do! But they're making me
want to do this! They're killing me already. I hate it when the teachers just doesn't care.
Even my parents doesn't know about this. They're proud of me but I'm not proud of
myself!"

I was out of breath. A long silence filled between us. She just stares at me and I was recovering my
breath.

"What?" I said.

"Okay. I'll embarrassed them more for you." she turned back and go to the door of the rooftop.
"What? You won't join me? It's funny to see."
I don't know what to say. I was in the middle of killing myself and killed by someone else.

"You should stay alive. You can run if you're alive. You can't if you're dead."

And so I go with her.

Back in the soccer field, she continued walking to the direction of Billy and his gangs. She faced Billy.

"What up, Judy? You'll confessed your love for me?" Everyone laughs and became serious again.

"Billy, will you please close your eyes for me?" She pleaded with a natural cute voice.

"Oh come on. Everyone look, Judy wants to kiss me." Billy catches everyone's attention. So they
look at them.

Billy is pouting his lips while closed eyes and Judy sat in front of him and pulled off all of his pants
including his undies showing his body parts to everyone.

Everyone laugh as hard as they could. And Judy run fast to me asking for my hand to hold and we ran
away.

We both laugh and escape school. We had fun together at amusement park. We shared laughs and had
a good time.

Judy and I became friends. I kinda like her for having a strong personality. She's kinda moody.
It's not often to see her smile. She's just quiet but I can tell that she has lots of thoughts
inside her head. She's always serious and always on her phone. But she's my only friend so I
think it's okay that she's just there beside me even if she's not talking much.
"Are you okay, Judy?" I asked.

"I told you, that's an invalid question."

And just like that we became quiet again while walking to school.

As we got to school, everyone were staring at us. What's happening?

"Fool."

"Weirdos."

"Die!"

"Ha! Let's call Billy."

I was conscious with everyone. But Judy beside me is very calm. As if her thoughts are nowhere.

We go inside our classroom and separated from our seats. And when the bell rang for lunch break, I was
about to look for Judy but she's not in her seat anymore. I was frustrated that we didn't eat
our lunch together.

"Sam! You come with me!" Billy shouted. I was frightened and obey due to his scary voice.

"Throw this!" He handed me a water balloon and wants me to drop it off the window.

"What for? I don't want to!" I resist and trying to escape from them but to no avail I
couldn't because the two of his friends were holding me tightly.

"Just drop it!" Billy insisted. "Drop it!"

He forcefully opened my hand and made me hold the water balloon then drop it off the window.

They let go of me and look outside. And I looked too. I saw Judy from below. She's wet and her
eyes are fiercely looking at me. I tried to shout and call her but her phone rang and went out of school.

And that is the last day I saw her.

Three days after that incident, Judy didn't show up in school. Her seat were always empty and
cold. I miss her. Even though we didn't spend much time together. She's just became my
strength.

I was doing our math problems when my classmates ran off inside the room and brought news. A bad
news.

I continued writing down the solution for this equation but my tears keep falling as I register the news
I'm hearing.

"Is it true?"

"Yes. I heard it from the principal itself."

"How could she do that?"

"She really killed he

She really killed herself?"

Why Judy? Why you should die and I should live? You were the one who said that I have to stay alive.
Why?