TOM THUMB.

TRAGEDY.

As it is Acted at the

THEATRE

IN THE

HAY-MARKET.

Written by Scriblerus Secundus.

- Tragicus plerumque dolet Sermone pedestri.

I Horace, Ars Poetica, 95: 'Tragedy often grieves in the lan!;Uage of prose.' Removed slightly trom the

original COfllcxt('et Tragicus plerumque dolet Sermone pedestri I Tclephuset Peleus'): 'so, too, in Tragedy
Tclcphus and Peleus ollen grieve in the lan!;Uage of prose' (Loeb). Quoted also in the preface of TrTrag,
below, p. SiS.

PREFACE.
P~ctuce .is b..:~()me almost as necessary to a Play, as a Prologue: It is a
A Word ot Adnce to the Reader, as the other to the Spectator: And as the
Husim:ss of a Prolugu..: is to commend the Play, so that of the Preface is to
( :ompliment the l\(:torS. l
:\ Preface n:quires a Style entirely different from all other Writings; A
Sry h.: fix \\ hich I t:an tind no .Name in either the Sublime of LOllginus, or the
Pmfund uf SCribierus: \\hkh 1 shall thereiore venture to call the
Sup.:rnatural, alter the t:debratcd Author of Hurlothrumbo: 2 who, tho' no
\\ riler of Pn:laces, is a vcry gn:at Master ufthcir Style.
,\s ClltlFOl1 in Luriul/ suffers none to enter his Boat till stripped of every
lhillg; li1l:Y han: about them/ so should no ~Word by any means enter into a
Prcf~lcc till srrippcd of all its lucas. Mr. Lock complains of confused Ideas in
\\()rd~,' \\hit:h is mtirdy ;lmcnded by suffering them to give none at all: This
ma~ bc done by adding, diminishing, or t:hanging a Letter, as instead of
/',11',1 ph,·rJ/,diti. \\Titing P,If<iphOllulia:; For a LVlan may turn Greek into
:\OI1SCnM:, who cannot turn Sense into either Greek or Latin.
~\ S.:cond i\kthod of stripping Words of their Ideas is by putting half a
UulUl inwhcn:nt ones together: Sut:h as IJJilen the People 0/ our Age shall be
I'Ut'ilOrs. &t:." By which means om: discordant 'Word, like a surly ~Man in
(:umpan), 1:>puils rhe \\'hole Sentence, and makes it entirely Prefatical.
) (H·IH':hll~:.!\ ,md \.:"\.PJn:-,l\'d: in hom\.-' r~c;':lIt I.::\,unplc~l )cJ b~ Cibhcr's pr~facc t()f The PruiAJ-k'J llusbi11ld
( I :: "~I. 'bel!' tl':\(>lcd h) Ill"" [h~n ILilf to pmi'" of Will..s, Mills, anti (notoriousl)') Oldfield, .., parodied in
htl·, nOh.."J bd\m. In hi~ pn.-:bo".:c 1u Tunolt'OfJ (J730).lknjamin l\'lartyn credits a 'great p:.tft' of the suc{."(!ss of
th..: 1'1.1) 10 -'\ills .md Pona: Th(}nl~un i'oU}:, h..: (J.nIlot cunclude his prdacc to S(}pJUJmsha (1730) ~without
d\\j,;ft;.!, m\ obE~.ltion!'t to Iho~l: t:OlH.:crth.:d in tIi .... n:pn:~cntation'~ not to mention that Fidding hillbdfin
1.0,'( 'I~ S,':·('r,tI. ifu,qu," Iud ju,,! ..h()ut oUld()ne Clbber in prdiltory compliments to Anile Oldfield. Nobody
('\ 1:1" \,eld {JUlie solar as to h..::lp rhaJ1k~ un the (';..rras or Ulusic1JIlS, a,..,; tn the cnthusi.astic La~t paragraphs here.
S,ullud Jolm~on of Cbt.:shin.: (SLI.: ;"tOo' C, p, 235 11. 1). Th~ allusions prc(ctiing arc to the treatise
(),; ,""lliNIN"" .L".LrihL.:J to Lon~;jnus, anJ the jJ, n B,l1jw~ (1728) ofl'upc's 1'vlal'linus Saiblcrus.
, 'h,dog,Ui)<\'I~/':ht'j)t·/ld,:.,.
I 11\ .In H~',,(y C(llt(C'nJJll~ jjafJJiUi l 'nJasliJfldwg (J6l)o)t variuusly: II. :\.xix, III. ii, ix-x.
Clhbl.'r\ unfoq;cllilbk ()r h:J.::it UJlllJfg'Oltl:ll spdlint; mislake ill his preface for The Pro'Vok'J lJusbunJ
(ij..!l'ij. This btc~r rC"l11ill.Jl.:r C.Unt: iato print while The AUi)wr's Pa.ra was still doing its part to serve the
1lli.:1ll01") l'vcr.\ IHg"hl \"ith Sir Fa.n.:lcJ} sing'Jug 'Can my (J-uddc!o;'S then torgl!t PartlpJumuilu, ParapkonaUa?'
(.\i .. "DJ.
L"Pl~,1 trom Cihhcr', p,..:f.ce: '"hell lhe People of this Agc shall be Ancestors,' Parodietllikcwise by
Pop", HI Pt n lJ,tllw.}, ell. xxi.
Torn Thumb 379
Some imagine this Way of Writing to have been originally introduced by
Plato, whom Cicero observes to have taken especial Pains in wrapping up his
Sentiments from the Understandings of the Vulgar.! But I can in no wise
agree with them in this Conjecture, any more than their deriving the Word
Preface, quasi Pla/at'e, a Plato: whereas the Original Word is Play/ace, quasi
Players face: and sufficiently denotes some Player, who was as remarkable for
his Face, as his Prefaces, to have been the Inventor of it. 2
But that the Preface to my Preface be not longer than that to my Play: I shall
have done with the Performances of others, and speak a Word or two of
my own.
This Preface then was writ at the Desire ofmy Bookseller, who told me that
some Elegant Criticks had made three great Objections to this Tragedy:
which I shall handle without any Regard to Precedence: And theretore I begin
to defend the last Scene of my Play against the third Objection of these
'"Kriticks, which is, to the dcstroying all the Characters in it, this I cannot
think so unprecedented as these Gentlemen would insinuate, having my-self
known it done in the first Act of several Plays: Nay, it is common in modern
Tragedy for the Characters to drop, like the Citizens in the first Scene of
OEdipus, as soon as they come upon the Stage.'
Secondly, they Object to the killing a Ghost. This (say they) far exceeds the
Rules of Probability; perhaps it may; but I would desire these Gentlemen
seriously to recollect, whether they have not seen in several celebrated Plays,
such Expressions as these, Kill my Soul, Stab my t ' ery Soul, Bleeding Soul,
Dying Saul, cum multis aliis, i all which visibly confess that for a Soul or Ghost
to be killed is no Impossibility.
• Prefalrtal Language. [Fielding): presumably by the pseudo-Greek spelling.
, Cicero makes this observation or one like it several time'S: most dirc'Ctly and answerabfy in Dc jimbus,
II. v. which would seem to be Fielding's sourc'C here, and by briefer reference in Epist. ad Atticum, \'ii. 13, and
ActJik'mtIJ, II, 39,
2 i.e, Gbber, The etymology ('asifit were Pia face, from Plato,' etc.) is all nonsense,
j i.e, from poetic causes, as against the literal result in Dryden and Lee's Oedipus (,679), which begins on
a stage dire.tion as follows: 'The Curlain nses to a plaintive TU,Ie, representing the presmt Condition of Thebes;
Dead Bodies appear at a distan,e illihe Streets; Some faintly go over the Stage, olhers drop' (Works, xiii. 121).
4 With many others: shortened from a commonplace notation in learned discourse, continuing ~"'Ie ,,,,,,,'
praescribllre longum esl (,which it would be tedious to set forth now'). Theone celebrated play Fielding has in
his sightS her. is undoubtedly Thomson's Sopl/Onisba, where tbe word 'soul' appe"ars so many times in such
killing and dying usage it had already been noticed elsewhere; 'It kills my very soull' (I. iv, p. 10) is ridiculed
in A Crilicism on IIIe New SophonisblH.S 'A Specimen ofthe Author's Metaphysicks' (p. 17), as well as the later
line beginning 'My soul it self would die' (IV. ii, p. «), in the Crili"islfl, p, 26. Cf. also 'For whom my soul
could dye!' and 'it stabs me to the soul' (III. iii, pp. 38, 39)' No 'Bleeding Soul' in Thomson, butane appears
in the Aaron Hill-Joseph Mitchell play Fatal Extravagance (1726), revived in Feb. '730 for .. run at LlF
(I" 25 in '730 edn.). Benjamin Martyn is also much given to this sounding substantive for the pseudo­
classical dialogue of Timoleon, though not quite on Thomson's scale (about forty times to Thomson's sixty
plus, ifcounting). The word in any event does saturate the pages of tragic drama around this time.
 Tom Thumb
.\::; tor the iirst Objection which they make, and the last which I answer, viz.
to the Subject, to this I shall only say, that it is in the Choice of my Subject I
have placed my chief Merit.
It is with great Concern that I have observed several ofour (the Grubstreet) PROLOGUE.
Tragical Writers, to Celebrate in their Immortal Lines the Actions of Heroes
recorded in Historians and Poets, such as Homer or Virgil, Livy or Plutarch,
the Pl'Opagation of whose Works is so apparently against the Interest of our By no Friend ofthe Author's.l
Society; when the Romances, Novels, and Histories, vulgo call'd Story-Books,
of our own People, furnish such abundant and proper Themes for their Pens,
such are Tum Tralll, Hickalhrdi, &c. 1
Spoken by Mr.]ONES.
'\nd here 1 congratulate my Cotcmporary Writers, for their having enlarged
thc Sphcre of Tragcdy: The ancient Tragedy seems to have had only two
Mirth and Laughter to delight the Mind

ITH
Ffkcts un an i\udiencl:, viz. It either awakened Terror and Compassion, or
c<)mposed those and all other uneasy Sensations, by lulling the Audience in an
W
The modem Tragedy wasfirst design'd:
'Twas this made Farce with Tragedy unite,
a~r"eable Slumber. But to provoke the Mirth and Laughter of the Spectators,
And taught each Scribler in the Town to Write.
ell join the Sod to the Buskin, is a Praise only due to Modern Tragedy.
Having spoken thus much of the Play, I shall proceed to the Performers, The Glorious Heroes who, informer Years,
amongst whom if any shone brighter than the rest it was Tom Thumb. Indeed Disso/v'd all Athens and all Rome in Tears;
SUl.:h was the Excellencc thereut: that no one can believe unless they see its Who to our Stage, have been tratLSplamed too; )
Representation, to 'which I shall rder the Curious: Nor can I refrain from Whom Shakespear taught to Storm, and Lee to Woo, l
obs...:rving how well one of the Mutes set off his Part: So excellent was his And could to Softness, ev'ry Heart subdue,
Pert(Jrman<.:e, that it out-did even my own Wishes:! I gratefully give him my Grub-Street has turn 'd to Farce. 3-Oh glorious Lane.'
share of Praise, and desire the Audience to refer the whole to his beautiful Action. 0, may thy Authors never write in vain!
,\nd n()\\ I must n:turn my hearty Thanks to the Musick, who, I believe, May crowded Theatres lIe 'er give Applause
pbyed to rhl: best of their Skill, because it was for their own Reputation, and To any other than the Grub-Street Cause!
b~causc they an.: paid tor ir: So have I thrown little Tom Thumb on the Town,
Since then, to laugh, to Tragedies you come,
~lllJ hope thl:Y will be favourable to him, and tor an Answer to all Censures,
What Heroe is so proper as Tom Thumb?
lake these \YOI'ds oLHttrtial,
Tom Thumb! whose very Name must Mirth incite,
,)'aiu cum PUSSIIIJI, ijuuJ delectantia lIIalim Andfill each merry Briton with Delight.
,)'tribae, Til, Causa es--3
Britons, awake!-Let Greece and Rome no more
, \, ]l~iphv"k ~Lipk:'\, Ill,," '1'0111 TlEumb ii~df or ],uk Ihl.: Giant-Killer (sec prologue. below), appearing in
Their Heroes send to uur Heroick Shore.
title t~;rm))\ lile 'file .'H'ifJ ilrr.It'J;';J t~( 'rom Tr.ulJ and A Pleas",uf Ilnd Dr:lighiful fli5Wry uf Thomas
\ ;U"i(lU;-,
I Mocking the convention--somctimes a polite fiction-<>f a friendly seconding hand inscribed over
'''' L'litr!/i; cL the vcrsiolls reproduced in ,hhtou (cJ.), Chap-Booh oItlle Elghteelllh Century. 'Vulgo': i.e.
l:l)mmtml}_ prologues or epilogues, as 'By a Friend' (so with the prologue of Tim.lto", and for Suph."isba with prologue
, (:ibber "~"il\, on .\nlle Oidlicld in [he preface to The Prot'lIk'd Husband ('728): 'she Here OUl-duJ her and epilogue both); or the formula designation 'sent by an unknown hand' (see the epilogue here), the author
usu.tl OUf-./owg.' 1'\ipC lutll:k.:l'J) ,Hlwng the firs! in the tield to make (hat locution the Cibbccrisnl to end all in many cases being understood to be-the author. 'When anyone publishes a Panegyrick on himself, tho in
( :.hhcri,m" in Pen IJ.lliws (eh. "i). juS! mo lnolllhs.!'tcrthc l'rclacc appeared. it became 'a Standard Jest the Fonn ofa Letter from another, ifno real Name is subscribed to it, I always condude the worthy Person to
jur ten YCdr, tu~"thcr' (,li",I''.~}'JiJf lilt' Lifr "fMr. T . . C,., (1740), p. 2'), as C1bber himsdfg-.mely be the Author of his own Praise' (British Journal, 21 Nov. 1730).
,tliIlO\\ Icdgt:d Jf) hi~ UWH _'lpolugy (1740)~ ch. l, cd, Fum:, pp. 33-4,
, Nathaniel Lee (I 649-<P ), whose classical heroes make as much love as war: Britannicus in Ntro (1674),
) !.,jJlgt,Itt'l.i:, v. -'\\'i. 1-2:: "If 1 prL't~r to write what gives pleasure, though I could be a serious poet1 you are Hannibal in Sophonisba (1675), A1ex.nderin The Rival Queens (t677).
J It is hard to tell which if any examples of recent Grub Street hero-spoiling Fielding might have had in
!h~' rea~un.' Tht! .... hole ofth..: second lint: is ~Scrlbt,;:re, ru causa cs. lector amice, mihi': 'you, friendly reader,
,in: 111)' n:d~lH)l (I ,0;:0), CUnH:Ulp,-H'flry h.~xtsgaVC/JlalJm lixtht,;: ma/onow acccpred,<1se.g. ;\:1. Valuj'iMarlidJis mind: arguably Martyn's Timoleon and Thomson's Sophonisba, or (since he had made fun of it in Af' Ill)
F/-I,'..J.Jlmnr.J.iflfll Libn .'\/1:( 17:'0). Cibber's lundling of Caes.rian char.cter in Caesar in Aegypi (1724)'

i
!
.t.
 Tom Thumb
Let hOllie-bred Subjects ,~r,/Ci' the lIIudem ,\.JuSt',
"Ilid Grub-Streetjfolll lit?( Sell lit?( Heroes rhuse:
Her Story-Books [lil/llorhdize ill Faille,
Hickathrift,Jack the Giant-Killer, ami Tom Tram. EPILOGUE.
:Vu Venus stuil/'d III Sign-Pust Painter shitle;
!Yo Roman Ilao in u Scribler's Line:
The /llOm;t' fUUS Dr,lgofllO the Sign bdurlgs, Sent by an Unknown Hand.
[11111 Grub-Street's Heroes best adorn her Songs.
To-Aight our Bard, Spectators, would be true
11) Farce, to Tragedy, Tom Thumb, and You. 1 Spoken by Miss JON ES.
Mayall the Hissillg Audience be struck Dumb;
Loug live the .Hull who cries, Long live Tom Thumb.

1 ParoJjing th.: prolu~ul,." of Thomson~s ,""VpilMlisba: 'To-mglll, {Jur home-spun AUJJwr WGult! be trut', I At
T OM Thumb, twice Dead, is a third Time Reviv 'd,1
And, by your Favour, may be J1et iong-Iiv 'd.
But, more [fear the snarling Critick's Brow,
HIJt"{', IfJ IiU!UJ'(, JU'sUHT. ,mdy(JU..'
Than Grizzle's Dagger, or the Throat ofCow!
Well then-Toupees, 2 I warrant you suppose
I'll be exceeding witty on the Beaus;
But faith! I come with quite a difI'rent View,
To shew there are Tom Thumbs, as well as you.
Place me upon the awful Bet/ch, and try
Ifany Judge can sleep more sound than I.
Or let me 0 'er a Pulpit-Cushion peep,
See who can setyou in a sounder Sleep.
Tom Thumb can fie! the Pulse, can give the Pill;
No Doctor's Feather shall more surely hiP
I' /I be a Courtier, give me but a Place;
A Title makes me equal with his Grace:
Lace but my Coat, where is a prettier Spark?
I'll be aJustice-give me but a Clerk.
A Poet too-when I have leartlt to read,
And plunder both the Living and the Dead:
Any ofthese, Tom Thumb with Ease can be,
For J\t1{l11Y such, are nothing more than He.

I I.e. as :VlissJones rises to play him again for the epilogue. 'This would be, however, • second revival, and
not a third,' says Hillhouse, correctly enough. But whether the epilogue should count lor Tom as a third
appearance amung the living or a secund "'''ppearanee, the point seems obvious. (Morrissey bafflingly reads
this line to mClln revivals of the play itself, counting in productions postdating the epilogue to make the
number add up to three.)
1 Or toupels: sec above. p. 25 n. 3.

J i.c. prescribing pen: cf, the 'jeathcr'd Dart' in the hands of tbe charioteercd physician chiefs, 'weU-fam'd

for Slaughter', in Pasqllin (v. i).

 Tum Thumb
But.}i" the Ladies, they, J krwlP, despise
The littte Things ollIlY illlmof Size.
Their migh~v Souls are all olthem too large
To tuke so small a Heroc to their Charge. Dramatis Person::e.
T'd.:e Pity, Ladies, on a young Begitmer;
Failh! J tIlily prove, ift lime, a thumping Sinner.
Lei your kind Smiles our Author's Cause deftlld;
He/ears no Foes, while Beau~y is his Friend.
MEN.
King Arthur, Mr. Mullart.
Tom Thumb, Miss Jones.
Lord Grizzle, Mr. Jones.
Mr. Noodle, Mr. Reynolds.
Mr. Doodle, Mr. Marshall.
I Physician, Mr. Hallam.
2 Physician, Mr. Dove.

WOMEN.
Queen Dollalolla, Mrs. Mullart.
Princess Huncamunca, Mrs. Jones.
Cleora, Mrs. Smith.
Mustacha, Mrs. Clark.

Courtiers, Slaves, Bailiffi, &c.

SCENE The Court oJ King Arthur.

 TOM THUMB.

ACT I. SCENE I.

SCENE The Palace.

lVIr. Doodle, Mr. Noodle. l

DOODLE.
LIRE, such a Day as this was never seen!
S The Sun himself, on this auspicious Day,
Shines like a Beau in a new Birth-Day Suit:
All Nature, 0 my Noodle! grins for Joy. 2
N ood. This Day, 0 Mr. Doodle! is a Day
Indeed, a Day we never saw before.
The mighty Thomas Thumb victorious comes;
Millions of Giants crowd his Chariot Wheels,
Who bite their Chains, and frown and foam like Mad-Dogs.
tIe rides, regardless of their ugly Looks.
So some Cock-Sparrow in a Farmer's Yard,
Hops at the Head ofan huge Flock of Turkeys.
Dood. When Goody Thumb first brought this Thomas forth,

1 Traditional simpleton names, in theatrical circulation from rhe 17th century and trequently attached to

characters of court or rank. Doodle is the Alderman in Ravenscroft's The Loudun C.,kold, (1682), still very
popular on stage, and the fairground droll. had comic parts like Sir Anthony Noodle ('a foolish Courtier'), in
Jane Shore, or Alderman Doodle, in Semiramis: see Rosenfeld, The Thealre of Londorl Pairs in liIe 1811,
CmllJry, pp. 2+, 29. William Rufus Ql<twood's Tile GelltrQus Pree Mason, 'with the Comical Humours of
Squire Noodle and his J\Ian Doodle', was played at Bartholomew Fair from 20 Aug. 1730, exemplifying this
tradition and no doubt also showing the fresh currency rom Thumb had given the names. The Craftsman of
6 Apr. '728 ran an allegory of political party history in which rhe empty-headed parties are rhe Noodles
(Whigs) and the Numskulls (Tories), names then bort'Owcd by the Grub-Siree/ Journal (22)an. 1730) for its
Grubean personages Mr Noodle and Mr NumseuL Unrclatedly, it should be nOled, the Craji""all also
glanced at Chetwood's play shortly after it ran (3 Oct. lilO), pretending ironically that his Noodle and
Doodle had been read by an outraged government partisan as 'a Couple of Noifolk Dumplillgs' (i.e. Robert
and Horatio Walpole), but this opportunistic insinuation had nothing to do wirh the unpolitical Chctwood's
use ofrhe characler names, or Fielding's.
Z This opening speech is annotated later in the Tragedy by multiple citations (see below), none uf which

however seems parodied quite distinctly enough to indicate which of them, if any, Fielding may really l1:lw
had in mind when writing here, and which of them he searched out only afterwards lor his note-making.
 Tom Thumb Tom Thumb
Tho.: Gt'lllll~ of our Land triumphant reign'd; With Arrack-Punch-'fore George! I'll see it out;
'}'hen, then, 0 Arthur! did thy Gellius reign. Of Rum, or Brandy, I'll not taste a Drop.
N uod. They tell me, it is whisper'd in the Books King. Tho' Rack, in Punch, Eight Shillings be a Quart,
Of all our Sages, That this mighty Hero And Rum and Brandy be no more than Six,l
(il\ . 'via/iII's Art begot) has not a Bone Rather than quarrel, you shall have your Will. [Trumpets.
\\ithin his Skin, but is a Lump of Gristle. I But, hal the Warrior comes; Torn Thumb approaches;
Dllod. Wou'dfjrtllllr's Subjects were such Gristle, all! The welcome Hero, Giant-killing Lad,
He thcn might break the Bones of ev'ry Foe. Preserver of my Kingdom, is arrived.
Xuod. But hark! these Trumpets speak the King's Approach.
Dood. He comcs most luckily for my Petition!
Let LIS retire a little. SCENE III.
Tom Thumb, allended; King, Queen, Lord Grizzle, Doodle, Noodle.
SCENE II.
Ki,1g. 0 welcome, ever welcome to my Arms,
King, Queen, Lurd Grizzle, Doodle, Noodle. My dear Torn Thumb! How shall I thank thy Merit?
Thumb. By not b'ing thank'd at all, I'm thank'd enough;
A.ing. Le[ nothing but a Face of Joy appear;
My Duty I have done, and done no more.
The i\hn who frowns this Day, shall lose his Head,
Queen. Was ever such a lovely Creature seen! [Aside,
That he may haye no Etce to frown again.
King. Thy Modesty's a Candie to thy Merit,
:-imilc, DoUa/olla:-Ha! what wrinkled Sorrow
It shines Itself, and shews thy Merit too.

Sib, like somc /vlotlta Demdikc,l on thy Brow?

Vain Impudence, if it be ever found

\\'h..:nce flow those Tears fast down thy blubber'd Cheeks,

With Virtue, like the Trumpet in a Consort,

] ,ik..: a swoln Gutter, gushing through the Streets?

Drowns the sweet Musick of the softer Flute.

Ql'~Ol. Excess of Joy, my Lord, I've heard Folks say,

But say, my Boy, where didst thou leave the Giants?

Gives Ttars, as often as Excess of Grief.

Thumb. My Liege, without the Castle Gates they stand,
A.ing. Ifit be so, let all Men cry for Joy,
The Castle Gates too low for their Admittance.
'Till 111} whol..: Court be drowned wilh their Tears;
King. What look they like?
'\ay, 'till they overflow my utmost Land,
Thumb. Like twenty Things, my Liege;
:\nd iea\<.~ me nothing but the Sea to rule.
Like twenty thousand Oaks, by Winter's Hand
Duoi/. i\ly Li..:ge! I've a Petition- Strip'd of their Blossoms, like a Range of Houses,
A:ing. Petition me no Petitions, Sir, to-day;
When Fire has burnt their Timber all away.
L..:t mher Hours be set apart lor Bus'ness.
King. Enough: The vast Idea fills my Soul;
Tv-Jay it is our Pleasure to be drunk,
I see them, yes, I see them now before me.
And tl~is our Q..u.:cn shall be as drunk as Us.
The monst'rous, ugly, barb'rous Sons of Whores,
QU"<'II. If the capa.:ious Goblet overflow Which, like as many rav'nous Wolves, of late

j 'Rack or arrack was a spirit distilled from fermented juice ofcoconut tree leaves ('ruddy'), imported lrom

: ':'\.u blood or honc~ in him then.' were: in {he vcr~ion of the story printed as ThlitJlih ReJivt1.ius (17 2 9)l the East Indies and made into a punch with water,lemon juiL", and sugar (o,ambers, Cyclupuedill (17Z~».
i' ~ \\ J.g~l,sr(\..' did WJl yU(llC this lin\.!: in his C.JltWh'llt (17 11 ). . . ' Tbere is a recipe lor brandy punch in The Mock Dorlor, se. ii. The price-ronseious King is correct, though
: EhI.Jh.:lh ~oul.hl...rn~l (If 'Old DunJikc'. the be~t knu\\"o of the so-called Lan(:a,.,IHI'~ ~ltchcs) who dIed James Ashley's 'London Punch House' was advertising arrack pWlch at six shillings per quart and rum or
;11 pn~iln hdorc hcr trial ill 1012. Shadwdl had UM.:J th~ slory for part ofThr LallCdShJre JV,tdusund ~t!,~ue 0 brandy punch at four, undercutting the 'settled Price throughout the Town' of eight shillinlls lor arrack and
1i;, d~)' ~ 16~l i, "tiil in London Si"bc r~pcnury at rhi:s time and he-calls the dl<lraClCr '~lothcr Dcmdtke
j six for rumor brandy punch (Dai!J. Posl-Bo)', ISJuly 1731).
 Tom Tlllt1Jzb Tom Thumb 39 I
Fro\\ n'd grimly 0\;1' the Land, like Lambs lool..now.
() TiIl/lI/iI. wh;lt du w.: to thy Valour ow.:! SCENE IV.
Til\: Prill\.:':~s l1UII({/I/IUlh'a is thy Prize.
Lurd Grizzle, Solu.s.
fjUffll. Hal Be :,till, my Soul!
'fILU/Ilb. Oh, happy, happ} Hearing!
See how the cringing Coxcombs fawn upon himP

\\'imess, y.: Stars! cou'd Thumb have ever set

The Sun-shine ofa Court can, in a Day,

:\ Bound ro his Ambition-it had been

Ripen the vilest Insect to an Eagle:

The Princess 11111l(llflluflm, in whose Arms

And ev'ry little Wretch, who but an Hour

Erernity would seem but half an Hour.

Before had scorn'd, and trod him under Feet,

Qj.1'C/I. Consider, Sir, reward your Soldier's lVlerit,

Shall lift his Eyes aloft, to gaze at distance,

But givc noll1ullccWIW/cu to Tom Thumb.

And flatter what they scorn'd.

Killg. 7;,111 Thumb! Odzooks, my wide extended Realm

I
1:\..110\\& not a Name so glorious as Tum Thumb.

?\; Ol ,1 /e:"'''lJiler, ill his highest Pride,

Could boast of I\lerits gre<ltcr than Tum Thumb.
?\Ol Cesar, Stipitl, I all the Flow'rs of Rume,
SCENE V.

Des.:n'd their Triumphs better than Tum Thumb.

01et'1I. Thl)' gn:at..:r yct his boasted Merit was,
lie shall not han: the Princess, that is Pos'.
f".-illg. Say you so, IVIadam? We will have a Trial.
I
Queen. Well met, my Lord.
Enter Q].teen, to Lord Grizzle.

You are the Man I sought. Have you not heard

Whcn I conscnr, what Pow'r has your Denyal?

For, \\ hen rhe Wife her Husband over-reaches,
Give him the Petticoat, and her the Breeches.
Sood. Long Health and Happiness attend the General!
I (What ev'ry Corner of the Court resounds)

That little Thumb will be a great Man made.

Griz. I heard it, I confess-for who, alas!

Can always stop his Ears-but would my Teeth,

l.ong may he live, as now, the PublickJoy,

\\,hih: cv'ry Voice is burthen'd with his Praise.
Thumb. Whisper, ye Winds! that HWIt'lIlllllllt'Il'S mine;
Ecchoes repeat, that lluJI(urilUIlW'S mine!
The dreJdflll Blls'ness ofthe \VJf is over,"
I
I
By grinding Knives, had first been set on Edge.

Queen. Would I had heard at the still Noon of Night, 2

The dreadful Cry of Fire in ev'ry Street!
Odsbobs! I could almost destroy my self,

To think I should a Grand-mother be made

I
,\l1l1 Beaut), heav'nly Beauty! crowns the Toil. By such a RascaL-Sure, the King forgets,

['; e tlmJ\\ n the bloody Garment now aside, When in a Pudding, by his Mother put,

.\[1J lIpJ/we'a' Swecls invite my Bride. The Bastard, by a Tinker, on a Stile

s() \\ hl.:!1 some Chimney-Sweeper, all the Day, Was drop'd. good Lord Grizzle! can I bear

H:J.;' through dark Paths pursu\l the Sooty Way, To see him, from a Pudding, mount the Throne?

.\[ Night, to \~ash his Face and Hands he Hies,

\nd III hi~ ['other Shirr \Iith his Brickdllsta lies. [Exeunt all bu.t Grizzle. I Cf Air II ofCharles Johnson's Village Opera ('729): 'Sec the cringing Coxcombs come
2 .'\n expression familiar from Dryden's D"" Sebastian (IV. i. +3) and lairly common thereafter, as e.g. in

I I)uhhu~ COl ndiu:-. S":j~HV ·.\fnci.mu:~: (l3;-1i)3 He), the Roman g':fH.:ntl who ddcatcu Carthage, and one
!
Garth's Dispensary (I 7 L~), eanto V, p. 57 (but 'at dead o'night' in earlier edns.),John Stunny's Lore andDtIIJ'

(1722), IV, p. 35, and others; it was also anthologized in the Thesaurus Dram'l/IClIs (1724), ii. 146.

3 As iI happens in the first part of the chapbook story: see Timlla$ Redivivus, pp. 8-<}. In thc.1uurllt:v/iulf!

of I ill.: ht:"f\)1t: l:hJr~lCl.:rs In Thum:.on';-,. ..">'up/lOnisI

J" . IhlS Wurld IfIlhe Ne.-I (I. ix), Tom Thumb appears in Elysium and insists that the pudding disaster 'was a

\ Itn\.' \\ dllnown ,1... opening Act 11 of Rowe' ~ 1illllL'r1ane (1702); anthoh;gizcd. in Tiit.:suuras DranUJlit:us) ridiculous legend'. He concedes that the fatal denouement ofthe cow did happen, bUI that he "as 'swallowed

by Surprize' (il'lise. Ii. 41~2).

1
 TUIIl Thumb Tom Thumb 393
Cn';.. Oh Horror! Horror! Horror! cease my Queen,

Th} \'oice, like twenty Screech-Owls, wracks my Brain.

SCENE VI.
QUt'L'fI. Then rouze thy Spirit-we may yet prevent

'I 'hi~ hated i\.latch.- Queen, Sola.

CIl:::'. We will.-:"wt Fate, itsel(

Should it conspire with Thomas Thul/lb, should cause it. And whither shall I go?-Alack-a-day!

I love Tom Thumb--but must not tell him so'

I
l'lI s\\ im through Seas; I'll ride upon the Clouds;
I'll Jig the Earth; I'll blowout ev'ry Fire; For what's a Woman, when her Virtue's gon~?

I'll rave; I'll rant; I'll rush; I'll rise; I'll roar A Coat without its Lace; Wig out of Buckle;

Fierce as the Man whom smiling Dolphins bore, A Stocking with a Hole in't.-I can't live

Fwm the Prosaick to Pocrick Shore. I

Without my Virtue, or without Tom Thumb.

I'll H.:ar the Scoundrel into twenty Pieces.

Then let me weigh them in two equal Scales,

QUt"CII. Oh, no! pre\ent the J\-Iatch, but hurt him not; In this Scale put my Virtue, that, Tom Thumb.

For, tho' I \\uuld not have him have my Daughter, Alas! Tom Thumb is heavier than my Virtue.

Ye!, can we kill the Man who kill'd the Giants? But hold!-Perhaps I may be left a Widow:

Cri.~. I tell you, Madam, it was all a Trick, This Match prevented, then Tom Thumb is mine,

I Ie made the Giants first, and then he kill'd them; In that dear Hope, I will forget my Pain.

:\s }"o\-hunrers bring Fuxes to a \Vood, So when some Wench to Tothill-Bridewell's sent 1
:\nd then with Hounds they drive them out again. With beating Hemp, and Flogging, she's content; ,
/Juan. How! Have you seen no Giants? Are there not She hopes, in Time, to ease her present Pain;
Now, in the Yard, ten thousand proper Giants? At length is free, and walks the Streets again. [Exit.
Cri:::.. Indeed, I cannot positively tell,
But firmly do believe there is not One. " The Gatehouse or Tothill-Fields prison at the west end of Tothill Street, for confiI)ement of petty
crlffil~als wlthm the Wes~mmster jurisdiction. Flogging and hemp-beating were the usual punishments of
ill/col. Hence! from my Sight! thou Tray tor, hie away; r,rostltutes: see plate 4 of Hogarth's Harlot's Progress (1732), where the scene is the London Bridewell at
By all my Stars! tholl enviest Tom Thumb. Heet Street. Smce 1729 the Westminster Sessions chaired by Sir John Gonson, and fuelled by the Society
(1,), Sirrah! go; hie away! hie!-thou art for the Reformation of Manners, had kept up a well-publicized campaign to clear the streets of disorderly
persons and houses (see below, p. 641 n. 3).
:\ Setting-Dog-and like one I use thee.
Crtz. !\ladam, I go.
IIJ11l Thumb shall feel the Vengeance you have rais'd.
So when two Dogs are fighting in the Streets,
\\'irh a third Dog, one of the two Dogs meets,
With angry Teeth, he bites him to the Bone,
And this Dog smarts for what that Dog had done. [Exit.

I . \ p...>Liehe pamJ) of EJ"ard Yuun~'s illlp"riwlI Pdugi...-1 Nuv"' i,yrick, published 7 Apr, 1730 (LolldoTl

/:" clling PUSi). tn (JIll' pan uf du; poem Young, JJJ.pling· Pliny's story of the boy Arion and the dolphin who
n':-.l'lICS him. (Eputlcs, ix, .n), ha.s th~ dolphin smiling-'How smiles.·jrivlI's Friend' CStrain the Fifth', st. vi,
1'. {h)--whiLh docs not happen in Pliny, Fielding put, Grizzle's rant together from two other passages in
I'tJllllg', puc'm: 'She I Freedom I pours the ThouglH, and forms the Style, I She makes the blood and spirits
bod; I I fed ha tWII'.! and rouse, aud risc, and rave lIn Tluban Song . .. CStrain the Third', st. Y, p. 28); and
'Fha Trade! I first, uJlw bor.JSJ flO Store, I fVlw Olve TIII:( Nvughl, thus Stldtchjrvm Shore, I The Shore of Prose,
U'ih'l"{' ThUll hilS! i'umba'tJ '/lni (,The Close', ~t. i, p, 57). Sec also Fielding's note in TrTrag, I. Y (u), below.

1
 TVlIlThumb Tom Thumb 395
Bail. There, when I have him, I will spunge upon him. I
ACT II. SCENE 1. o glorious Thought! By the Sun, Moon, and Stars,

I will enjoy it, tho' it be in ThoughtF

SCENE TIle Street. Yes, yes, my Follower, I will enjoy it.

So Lovers, in Imagination strong,

Bailiif, Follower. Enjoy their absent Mistresses in Thought,

li.II!t}I C :):"11:: ?n,

11.1Y tru,sty Follower, 1 inu,r'J .
1() ev ry kmJ of Danger; cudgell d oft;
And hug their Pillows, as I now do thee:

And as they squeeze its Feathers out-so I

Would from his Pockets squeeze the Money out.

O(tl:ll in Blankets toss'd···oft Pump'd upon: Foil. Alas! too just your Simile, I fear,

\\ hos.: Vinue in a Horse-Pond hath been try'd." For Courtiers often nothing are but Feathers.

Sunu here by mc.-This way must Noodle pass. Bail. Oh, my good Follower! when I reflect

Foil. \VcrI.' he an 1lalf-pay Officer, a Bully, On the big Hopes I once had entertain'd,

:\ Highway-man, or Prize-fighter, I'd nab him. To see the Law, as some devouring Wolf,

iJ(/iI. This Day discharge thy Duty, md at Night Eat up the Land,-'till, like a Garrison,

.\ double ,\lug of Beer and Beer shall glad thee.) Its whole Provision's gone.-Lawyers were forc'd,

Then ill an .'\le-lllluse may'st thou sit at Ease, For want of Food, to feed on one another.

.\nd quite t(JI'get the Labours of the Day. But Oh! fall'n Hope. The Law will be reduc'd

So \\caried Ox ell to their Stalls retire, Again to Reason, whence it first arose. 3

.\ nd l'I:;;[ from all [he Bu rthens of the Plough. But Hal our Prey approaches-let us retire.

full. No more, no more, 0 Bailiffl ev'ry Word

inspires my Soul with Virrue.--D! 1 long
To llIcd the Encmy in the Street-and nab him;
To lay arresting ('lands upon his Back,
\nd Jrag [lim trembling to the Spunging-House.
Tr~I\\.>'>ly \l'r~IOJl of Ant.)H YIS :,p\.:('ch to Vcrnidiu"t In Dryden's <'lIlj()T LUi'!', beginning 'Comc on; :\1.)'
(1. i. 4-4-7). FidJmg burrow, from lht.: ~.HHc :-.(l:n(; tot' Torn's outburst hclow~ IL ii. [8, The bailiffs
~nlio\\l'r \\;.t:-; llh: [hu~~'ish sccond \\'ho J-..;",ist..:d thL' hailiffor sheriff's deputy in ,...crving warrants and writs:
'\ uh.-"lfh ':.lJrd Hun h:!!..~" " as not('J ilL 'lu .J{ruraft' J)t'if...'rJPIWll aJ ,\i(JJ.·WlllC (1724)1 IL IS.
( i.e. 'squeeze the Money out', as he defines it in thcspeech following. Spunging (or sponging) house, were
kept prIVately by bailiffs or other sheriIT's ollicers.--olien being simply their own house~ partly converted to
lock-ups-for the custody of arrested debtors pending arraignment, and were notorious for their
extortionate practices and endless charges: a 'Hellish Habitation' according to one detailed account bv
comparison even to the best of which Newgate Prison was 'absolut:ly a Paradise' (An AfCurale Descriptk,1l ,if'
Newg"", p. 15, 18-27). Nearer the time ofFie!ding's play, the agitation for debt law rdonn in 1729 (noted
below) had brought this unregulated practice into more immediate public view as a matter of current
account: 'Great numbers have been sent to the Spunging-House kept at the Prison·gate [ofthe Fleet] by one

I
'L . . ~.lll{}rnb oh.tn."ct iU~li...~L': \.')..t.'\2Uli.:d UptH1 tlu.:sc most despiscd cntrc:prem:urs ofdeh1 law cniOn.:emcnt.
. \ it"i •• r b L"1\ c,,,"llv ha,,,d bv :.tall, \\ om'll, or Child, "ho dearly loves [() see them duckl (Pick-pocket
htL') in Iill' ,\lH')t' Pond: or \lIC d~anl) Pond uf the i lorsc-Guards at H'bildwil, .lOci somcrimcs wdl rin.... 1d at
lih '1~'lIfl'iL uf (:t.;l';\·Jnlt P'tHUP' \.\kland~r !'-tmith, The CCJ1lu(ul tlnd TraguClI I-hstOl)' or {ht~ Li1.:t$ and
,:/:Ii<' lIi!hi SM~·J.· ij,.)'!~I!; 1tJ ,Hid tii!;lIti Id!!l,1ou (I-wt H:t'SlminSlt'r (1723). p. 50). Bailiffs captured
Corbel, the Warden's Tipstalr, who there endeavour'd to squeeze out of them all the Money they can procure
. each Prisoner expecting to be better or worse treated, as he spends more or less' (Tile Arbitrary
Pun""",,,,[s and Cruel Tortures Inflicted"n Prisoners}"r Debt (. 729), p. t7), See also Amelia, p. 308 and n.
I From Bajazet's speech in Rowe's Taliler/am, (1702), II. ii (p. 22): 'Oh, Glorious Thought! By Hcav'n!
I will enJoy it, I Tho' butin Fancy.' See the coy citation Fielding supplies in TrTrag II. i. a, below.

I
\\ IItJtn lhl: lihl:rlit::. dl tht.: :\lint \\t.'1'l' lieD up in .I. wh\..'clharrow and lrundkd about the strcch, (Smith 3 Presumably by the debt law r<tonTIs enacted the year before in 2 Gw. II c. 20, providing new fonns of

n 'll[iJlti'::-'J~ '\\ it]] l:=T~\1f Shout;-- JiU! lll!z.r.a':-., while (h~ \\' umt.:n and othcrs frUnl the 'fops of Houses, prL"Senr
bJln \\ ilh Ihl l\"" ',:("'100 oft "iu:->l.',-Stoob., ~Ind ulJ l'J.nk"·i~l\otlr'~l Pi~:-.-p{)ts', he.; hL:ingatbsI 's(Jkmnly convcyld
til ,I (ltunp, ,ll·t:()r~ljll!:! 10 Ih," .ullil."lll Cu:-.lum uf th..: PtK"t.\ wh(:n: be is sufficiently drcnch'd Jor his dirlY
I j, HIl;-:'~': St,;'\: •• 1">0 I Tru,,: j)uLnplwn o,ffJ1(·. Hwl (I i 10), pp, Hr '::'2.
" \kjlung' prohal)iy J l11i;\tun' of strong and ~m"di bi:t.'('s. SCi: the poem to tht.' hrcwt..·r and newly chosen
relief lor insolvent debtors, and 2 Geo. II c. 22, intended to make it easier for willing debtors to satisfy the
claims against them and particularly to eliminate (in the language of the preamble) 'the oppression of inferior
I olnc'ers in the execution of process for debt, and the exactions of gaolers to whom such dehtors are
committed'. The Act was amended for further intended relief of imprisoned debtors the following year
(3 Gco. II c. 22). The newspapers covered this issue dosely during the winter and spring of t730: see lhe
DaJ~)' Journal (22 Jan.), advocating additional measures of re[onn, Fog's Weeki)! Journal (q M.r., t t ApL),

l.'Ii'Ll \L.I\lH' 01 Loudon Humphry PJr...oBti in tht.· Gm/}-,)'trd:l ]tHtfl1l.d (29 O\.'t. 1730)) on the inspirational
i:fl\.'d~ o(-y;.uttlU,'" ItLiJt l..'()mbiuJ.lions {.lit.- ;dOHl.'~ J.k J.nJ beer! mild or stale, etc,) on Grub-Street 'J.uthors:
"it' Ikl'f ~md t}.;cr c\'.lh rhe :-.tud~Ull:-' h..:aJ, I In TrJg;ie buskins Lhcy majestic trcad ... If bordcd bOLb, and
Ih:iliu.:r :-om.ill nor Siron!!:, I Th~y froth in EpigrJm, or some in Song.' In one eopy of the third edition
li1"dk'.lIl! .ib!;j[~ S .\.5.:;Jur). the lIr" 'h,er' iscorrcc"cJ to 'bread' i".11 ll'lth·ccntury hand; but that would
Hl.l.i-.;.;:-. lllUS ofhn,,\id uut of iLJ JnJ hy Lh~ cVlth:ncc of the POCfl1\ "bt.:cr and beer} doc~ ~em to hiolve been an
t.:,\prC:-':-OlnT\ \\ ith und..::rswou mcanin~.
I
and Read's Weeki)! Journal (31 Jan., 7, 28 Feb.). In the devouring·lawyer part of the Bailiff's speech here
(
Fielding may also he reterring to the act for the better reb'UIation ofattornies and solkitors (2 Geo. II c. 23),
;
passed likewise in that same law refonn session of 17Z9 (sec below, p. 628 n. I). And in the spring of 1730,
when he may actually have been writing this scene, two other law bills were pending: one for the better
regulation ofjuries, introduced in the Commons on 12 March and rapidly passed through (3 Geo. II c. 25, lor
which see below, p. 4H n. 2), and a proposed Act relating to small debt recovery, 'commonly called the
 Tum Thumb Tom Thumb 397
And I arrest you, Sir, at his Commands.
SCENE II. Thumb. Hal Dogs! Arrest my Friend before my Face!
Think you Tom Thumb will swallow this Disgrace!
Tom Thumb, Noodle, Bailiff, Follower.
But let vain Cowards threaten by their Word,
Tom Thumb shall show his Anger by his Sword. [Kills the Bailiff
Thumb. Trust me, my Noodle, I am wond'rous sick;
Bail. Oh, I am slain!
For tho' I love the genrle HUllcamullca,
Foil. I'm murdered also,
I'd at the Thought of Marriage, I grow pale;
And to the Shades, the dismal Shades below,
For Oh!-but swear thou'lt keep it ever secret,
My Bailiff's faithful Follower I go.
I will unfold a Tale will make thee stare.
Thumb. Thus perish all the Bailiffs in the Land,
Nood. I swear by lovely Hunfamunfl~ 's Charms.
'Till Debtors at Noon-day shall walk the Street,
Thumb. Then know-My Grand-mamma hath often said­
And no one fear a Bailiff, or his Writ.
T01/l Thumb, beware of .Marriage. ' -

Nood. Sir, I blush

To think a Warrior great in Arms as you,
Should be affrighted by his Grand-mamma.
SCENE III. The Princess Huncamunca'sApartment.
Can an old Woman's empty Dreams deter Huncamunca, Cleora, l\1ustacha.
'rhe blooming Hero from the Virgin's Arms?
'1 'h ink of the Joy which will your Soul alarm, Hunc. Give me some Musick to appease my Soul: Gentle Cleora, sing my
When in her fond Embraces clasp'd you lie, fav'rite Song. I
\\hilc on her panting Breast dissolv'd in Bliss,
Cleora sirtgs.
.t ou pour out all Tom Thumb in ev'ry Kiss.
Thumb. Oh, Noodle! thou hast tir'd my eager Soul;2 Cupid, ease a Love-sick Maid.
Spight of my Grandmother, she shall be mine; Bring thy Qp.iver to her Aid;
I'll hug, caress, I'll cat her up with Love. With equal Ardor wound the Swain:
Whol..: Days, and Nights, and Years shall be too shorr
I Beauty should neva sigh in vain.
For (Jur Enjoyment; ev'ry Sun shall rise I Let him feel the pleasing Smart,
Drive thy Arrow through his Heart;

Blushing, to see us in our Bed together.

Nom/. Oh, Sir! this Purpose of your Soul pursue.

Boil. Oh, Sir! 1 have an Action against you.

I
Whm Oneyou wound, you then destroy;

When Both you kill. you kill with Joy.

SOIi,f. At whos..: Suit is it?

Bail. At your Taylor's, Sir.

Y'our Taylor put this Warrant in my Hands,

I Hutlc.O, Tom Thumb! Tom Thumb! wherefore art thou Tom Thumb?!
Why had'st thou not been born of Royal Blood?
Why had not mighty Bantam been thy Father?

~HOnlJ":~ Bill, 'K~JU~i.: it WJ'i :wid it \\\)uitJ rcdUl:": tht.: Number or at least the Pr.H..' ticc of Altornies' (The
l'OIi:,(,d SI;Ii<" a(Gl{a/ lin/aill, 3" (!\Ia) I730), p. 517). This bill lingered in the Cununolls until early May
JJhj then wt.:nl to lhe.: 1.urJs (00 lalc in the sl'ssion ti,r a.ctiun; but was printed and its provisions wcre well
! Or else the King of Brentford, Old or New?3

K!hi\\Il: l'L c.l;_ tilt' cntici:-.m of them in Rf/it.!':; J-fcek~l'Joumal (l5 Apr. 1730)
U. tiJy', Illilcl.mg JUlUcsticJllul1 oflhe portentous tragedy warning in Tilt" Whdt D'}', Cull II, II. i: 'Oft
rny kiHd Gr<JhUtWJ fold illl.;.-'J'im, tJLc wJrning, i fie g{)()(J-and say thy Prdy'rs--~anu mind thy Learning.'
, !'rum [he b<:;;illlling of J wdl-~nown ,peech by Antony in Dryden's Alllor Love, I. i. -B8 ('0, thuu has
lir\1 lIIe; my Soul's up in .~rms'), anthologized in the Thesaurus Dr"m"ti{us (ii. 229-30). Antony's soul is
lir\.'u f(Jf ii:;:htintJ,. nut loving.
Must. I am surprized that your Highness can give your self a Moment's
Uneasiness about that little insignificant Fellow, Tom Thumb. One properer
for a Play-thing, than a Husband.-Were he my Husband, his Horns should
I See Appendix I.
, Obviously mimicking Romeo and Juliet, but Tom's mother calls to him likewise in the ballad, :uier the
cow swaUows him: 'Where art thou, Tom? where art thou?' (Thomas Redivivw, p. 9).
1 A repeat allusion, for the audiences who had jlll..-t sat through the ending of Th, AulkoT's PilI'''' 011 the
original programme bill: St..., above, p. 288 n. I.
 Tom Thumb Tom Thumb 399
be:;IS IOllg as his BOdy.-lf you had fallen in Love with a Grenadier, I should Whose Name in Terra incognita is known,

nol h,,\e \\ond~n;d at it. If you had fallen in Love 'with Something; but to fall Whose Valour, Wisdom, Virtue make a Noise,

in l.llV': with Nothing! Great as the Kettle Drums of twenty Armies.

111I1It. Cease, my ·\Ilusladla, on your Duty cease. Hunc. Whom does my Royal Father mean?

Th..: Z:phyr, whcn in tlm\T) Vales it plays, King. Tom Thumb.

I;, nUL so soft, so ~weet as Thummy's Breath. I Hunc. Is it possible?

'rhl' Dove is not so gentle to its Nlatc. King. Hal the Window-Blinds are gone,

,Husl. The Dove is every bit as proper for a Husband. Alas! Madam, there's A Country Dance ofJoys is in your Face,

not a Beau about the Court that looks so little like a Man. He is a perfect Your Eyes spit Fire, your Cheeks grow red as Beef,

Butt..:rHy, a Thint; without Substance, and almost without Shadow too. Hunc. 0, there's a Magick-musick in that Sound,

Iluflf. This Rudeness is unseasonable; desist, Enough to turn me into Beef indeed.

Or I shall think this Railing comes from Love. Yes, I will own, since licens'd by your Word,

TiJIII Thumh 's a Creature of that charming Form, I'll own Tom Thumb the Cause ofall my Grief.

'I 'hal no one can abuse, unless they love him. For him I've Sigh'd, I've Wept, I've gnaw'd my Sheets. l

elC. Madam, the King.

SCENE V.
SCENE IV.
King, Huncamunca, Doodle.
King, Huncamunea.
Dood. Oh! fatal News-the great Tom TlJumb is dead.

KIIiK. Let all but HUIIWtflllUW leave the Room. King. How dead!

[Ex. Cleora, and Mustacha. Dood. Alas! as dead as a Door-NaiL

Daughter, f have of late observ'd some Grief Help, help, the Princess faints!
Unusual in your Countenance, your Eyes King. Fetch her a Dram.
That, lik..: two open Windows, us'd to shew Huttc. Under my Bed you'll find a Quart of Rum. [Ex. Doodle.
The lovely Beauty of the Room within, King. How does my pretty Daughter?
Have now two Blinds before them-What is the Cause? Hune. Thank you, Papa,
Say, have you not enough of Meat or Drink? I'm something better now.
\\'c 'n' giv'l1 strict Orders not to have you stinted. King. What Slave waits there?
/JIIIIC. Alas! my Lord, a tender Maid may want
Enter Slave.
What she can neither Eat nor Drink­
KIIIg. What's that? Go order the Physicians strait before me,

fiullc. Oh! Spare my Blushes, but I mean a Husband. That did attend Tom Thumb--now by my Stars,

/\.Ilig. If that be all, I have provided one, Unless they give a full and true Account

.\ Husband grcat in Arms, whose Warlike Sword Of his Distemper, they shall all be hang'd .

Streams with the ) ell ow Blood ofslaughter'd Giants. 2

, From SUllm', speech 111 Act J of I.e<·, The RmJI QlltttlS (Works, iii. 228): 'Not the Spring', Mouth, nor
v
llrc',,"h oljcsafllm, I :>;'" iokl' Inlanr~S\\cc!S, noropcnillg Buus I Arc half,,, ,wee! as Alaatu/"'s Breath.'
'1 'h\! lilies \\ I.:rt \\c1J Lnm\ n (I.:f. TJusuurui j)riJutaii(J.J.~, ii. 2h),
: Usuallj black. like the blood ufthe I;iallt Thullucrdalc in,J"t!: Iii" Grllm·Kill,',. (1/30), p. 17. Morrisscy
"~l~:-. that ~ c:llt)\\-' is th(.' culuur ,1ll,SOCtatcu with witches} devils, and giants in demonological lore, l:iting
M. D. Conway, DC1I/oo%gyund Devil-Lore (New York, 1879), which however contain. no such inJormation.
Fielding seems merely to be playing a comic variation 011 the accepted colour.
Terra l"tognila: unknown land.
I i.e. with desire. Cf. the song ill C'mb'TCVC'S Love for L01'" (1695), 1/1. iv (,And b'llaw the Sheets in vain
Sir, I and lie 0' Nights alone), or Bullock, A H'mna1l' Ra;enge (1715), 11 (p. 37): 'Well, you shan't grulw th~
Sheets for want of better Employment; I'll take car., you shan't die. Maid.'
 Tum Thumb Tom Thumb 40I
Duod. [retums.1 Here is the Bottle, and here is the Glass. 2 Phys. What are the Symptoms of the Diaphormat/e!

lliJUlld them both logether~ I Phys. They are various--very various and uncertain.

K'llg. Give them me. [fills the Glass. 2 Phys. Will you tell me that a Man died ofthe Diaphormane in one Hour~

Drink it all on~ it will do you no harm. when the Crisis of that Distemper does not rise till the Fourth Day?
I Phys. The Symptoms are various, very various and uncertain.

SCENE VI.
SCENE VII.
King, I-luncamunca, Doodle, Physicians.
[To them.] Tom Thumb attended.
IPhI'S. \Vc here attend your J\lajesty's Command.
Thumb. Where is the Princess? where's my HUt/amlunca?
All/g. Of what Distemper did Tom Thumb demise?
Lives she? 0 happy Thumb! for even now
J Ph),s. He died, may it please your .\lajesty, of a Distemper which
A Murmur humming skips about the Court,
Pureldlsus calls the DiupJwrmanc. Hippocrates the CalefUmell. Galen the
That Huncamunca was defunct.
R.:gon i He was taken with a Dizziness in his Head, for which I bled him, and
King. Bless me!

put on Four Bli"tcrs~hc then had the Gripes, wherefore I thought it proper
Ye Blazing Stars~sure 'tis Illusion alL

to apply a Glister, a Purge, and a Vomit.

Are you Tom Thumb, and are you too alive?

2 Phys. Doctor, you mistake the Case; the Distemper was not the
Thumb. Tom Thumb I am, and eke] also alive.

f)Up/iUrJltiWC, as you vainly imagine; it was the Peripilusis~and tho' I approve

King. And have you not been dead at all?­

vcr) much of all that you did~let me tell you, you did not do half enough­
Thumb. Not I.

) (Ill know he complained of a Pain in his Arm, I would immediately have cut
I Phys. I told you, Doctor, that Cathartick would do his Business.

off his .lnn, and have laid open his Head, to which I would have applied some
2 Phys. Ay, and I am very much surprized to find it did not.

li,dllsirk Plaister; after that 1 would have prol:eeded to my Catharticks,

Em,·tjcks. and Diuretid;s.
J Ph),s. In [he Peripifusis indeed these Methods are not only wholesome but
SCENE VIII.
necessary: but in the Diaphorlllane otherwise.
King, Thumb, Huncamunca, Physicians, Doodle, Noodle.
l).H'~h.'d!'.us (14tH? -154- I), th~ Swis~ mcJicJI practitioner woo famously opposed the venerable theories
(It 1111'1'0el·Jte, (;th··4th century BC) and his sueee"or and commentator Galen (2nd century AD). One Nood. Great News, may it please your Majesty, I bring,
4,'Ol1h:mporary medical hisLUriJu (J. Frcind) mOCKed ~tht: obscure jargon and nonsense of that illiterate A Tray tor is discover'd, who design'd
Enthusiast, P,";I,e/,U" (TIt, HlSw,)' 4Phy,idc. pt. I (!72S), p. 2). The iargonish words here are invented or
rncaningks:-.. "DiJphormane' st"cms tu be a fooling cotnhiruuion of the Latin medical JiapJlOres:'s, meaning 'a To kill Tom Thumb with Poison.
~·At.'Jt', \\lith m.UJuf(,'~ 'p,mr' or 'drip'. ·CatccunJl..:n or 'catechumen' belongs to religion (i.e. one recclving
J
King. Ha! say you?
instnll.:tion in Christian docrrine), but ill transferred sense can mean any initiate" \\lith rhe joke perhaps then
bl·ing a nlcJiclllcartlt:r as C,.Hb(; ot'tlcath. and the dim Physiciall here confusing the word itsdfwith a sound­
Nood. A Girl had dress'd her Monkey in his Habit,
ali~\..: Jish:mper, like filtaicpsis. As for 'Regon" c[ the Greek verb ircgnumi~ (PTJYVlJjJ-t), meaning ~burst And that was poisoned by mistake for Thumb.
JSLHHh.:r! '11eripilusis' ill the !.l)l.!cch i{lnOwillg~ yet another made-up word, would mean something like King. Here are Physicians for you, whose nice Art

·t;:\~t."cding hJirinc~s' (i.e. frum pij,)sus~ wilh the intensifier p~>rprefixed)~:l~ to which the First Physician very
projh:r1) ,,(}llllllCllb later, 'I never he.rd uf such a Distemper before' (II. ix). 'Trahisick' in the same speet:h
Can take a dress'd up Monkey for a Man.

\\HuM b..: from J .atin tr:lju:rt, meaning ~to draw out Fielding in any case is amusing himself by putting
1
• Come to my Arms, my dearest Son-in-Law!

ridieulou, trace meanings into this fal.c ).q;on, thuugh the traces do not all read quite clearly; and with words
Happy's the wooing, that's not long a doing;2

Ii", rhis thae mllst surdy be some limit 011 the editorial duty to explain an .uthor, There is a medical dispute
in part] of the chapbook story, aher Tom falls into the close-stool: 'The Doctor thought to let him Blood. Proceed we to the Temple, there to tye

bUI ,omc did him oppose, I Then uthers said 'twas for his Good, thus a Dispute arose, I Until a grave
"'pcncllc'<-1 ,\1ao. the latter lU dis'nul, i Said, i{hi' limd, the)' wouldsca", tlley'd IIolfi"d a TkimbleJuli. I At I i.e. archaic '.Iso' (also!).
last upon a Jearn\J Debate it Was resolv'J by .. /I, I That [hey would trust his Life to Fate. and wait his Rise or , Proverbial: cf. John Mottley, The Widow Bewitch 'J (!730), p. 37, and Thoma. FuUer, GtWlllolugiu
Fall' (JIlt/illal" Rt.'dr;.'J'1A/.'i, p . .!3). (1732), No. 0205.
1
f.
I·

,
j
 Tom 1humb Torn Thumb
The burning Uri_legroom to the blushing Bride. Tom Thumb is lost-yet Hickathrifi remains,

And if I guess aright, Tom Thumb this Night And Hickathrifi's as great a Man as Thumb.

Shall give a Being to a ne~ TOI/I Thumb. Be he then our Gallant-but hal what Noise

ThullIb. it ;,hall be my Endeavour so to do. Comes trav'ling onward, bellowing as loud

llall •. 0 tic upon you, Sir, .'tOll make me blush. As Thunder rumbling through th'lEtherial Plains?

T/llIwb. £t is the Virgin's sign, and suits you weil­

l kIW\\ not where, nor how, nor what I am,
I'm su transported, I have lost my self
111111t. Forbid it, all the Stars; for you're so small, SCENEXL
That \Vere you lost, you'd find your self no more. King, Queen, Huneamunca, Courtiers.
So the unhappy Sempstress, once, they say,
[ leI' Needle in a Pottle, lost, of Hay. Kif/g. Open the Prisons, set the Wretched free,
In vain she look'd, and look'd, and made her Moan; And bid our Treasurer disburse Six Pounds
Fur ah! the 0.'eedle was for ever gone. To pay their Debts.-Let no one weep to-day.
A/lig. 1,Ol1g may ye live, and love, and propagate, Come, my fair Consort, sit thee down by me.
'Till th..: whole Lmd be peopled with Tom Thulllbs. Here seated, let us view the Dancers Sport;
Su \\hen th..: ClIi::ihlr<'-Chces..: a Maggot breeds, Bid them advance.-This is the Wedding-Day
:\nuth..:r and another still succe..:ds; Of Princess Huncamunca and Tom Thumb.
B) thousands and ten thousands they encrease,
'Till OIlt cuntinu'J Maggot tills the rotten Cheese. Dance, Epithalamium, J and Sports.

SCENE IX. SCENE The Last.

Noodle, King, Queen, Huncamunca, Courtiers.

"ra), Docrur Churdt-yurd, what is your Peripilusis? I did not care to

Nood. Oh monstrous! dreadful! terrible! Oh! Oh!
own Ignorance [0 the King; but I never heard of such a Distemper before.
Ill}
Deaf be my Ears, for ever blind my Eyes,
..; PI,ys. Truly, Ductor Filr~rll(.'(, it is more nearly allied to the DiapllOrmaue
Dumb be my Tongue, Feet lame, all Senses lost.
I han \ uu imagille--and when YOLI know the one, you will not be very far from
King. What docs the Blockhead mean?
findin,; (Jut rhe urher. But it is no\\ past Ten; I mLlst haste to Lord Weekleys, for
Nood. Whilst from my Garret
he'll be dl'ali befon.: Eleven, and so I shaH lose my Fee.
I look'd abroad into the Street below,
{ Phl's. Ductor, your Servant. [Exeunt severally. I saw Tam Thumb attended by the Mob,
Twice twenty Shoe-boys, twice two Dozen Links,l
SCENE X. Chairmen, and Porters, Hackney-Coachmen, Whores;
When on the sudden through the Streets there came
f:'mer Queen solit. A Cow, of larger than the usual Size,
i It"" ,1111 ll(Jrc'd to \\ander thus alone,
\,.; if I \\en: the Pltu'llix of my Kind;
1 i.e. a wedding-song or poem, hut there is no record ofwhat may have heen staged here, in Jancc or .ong

or 'sports t.
\ 1.":- PhYSlt:ians fl.'maill. , Link-hoys, L'aJ'rying torches (links) to guide walkers at night.
 Tom Thumb
.\nu in J ;\loment, guess, oh! guess the rest,
.'\nu in ~l Moment SWJllow'd up Tom Thumb. l
Killg. Horrible indeed!
Gri':... Swallowed she him Jlive?
Nuot/. ,-\Jive, alive, Lord Grizzle; so the Boys
Of Fishmongers do swallow Gudgeons down.
Cri;::,. Curse on the Cow that took my Vengeance from me. [Aside.
Kwg. Shut up again the Prisons, bid my Treasurer
Nor give three Farthings out~hang all the Culprits,

Guilty or not-no mattcr.-Ravish Virgins,

Go bid the School-masters whip all their Boys;

Let Lawyas, Parsons, and Physicians loose,

To rob, impose on, and to kill the World.

Ghost of Tom Thumb rises.

GhllSl. TU1I/ Thumb 1 am-but am not eke alive.
\1y Body's in the Cow, my Ghost is here.
Gri:;,. Thanks, 0 ye Stars, my Vengeance is restor'd,
Nor shJit thou fly me-fiJf I'll kill thy Ghost. [Kills the Ghost.
111111(.0 barbarous Deed!-l will revenge him so. (Kills Griz.
Doud, Ha! Grizzle kill'd-thcn Murthcress beware, [Kills Hunc.
QU<'L'II. 0 Wretchl-have at thee. [Kills Dood,
S()ud, .\l1d have at thee too. [Kills the Queen,
Cle. Thou'Sf kill'd the Q.ueen, [Kills Nood.
,lclu.;t, .\uti thou hast kill'd my Lover, [Kills Cle.
king, Ha! ?\lurtheress vile, take that. [Kills Must.
"-nd take thou this. [Kills himself, andfalls.

:-;0 \\ hen the Child whom Nurse from Mischief guards,

Sl'nJs]<lik for Mustard with a Pack of Cards;"

h.ings, Queens and Knaves, [hrow one another down,

'Till the whole Pack lies scatter'd and o'erthrown;

So all our Pack upon the Flour is cast,

\nu all I boast is, I hat I falllhc last. (Dies.

FINIS,

I in tllL' chapltooh ~tor) "1 um's mother tl\,;s him HJ J this.de \\ hill' she mjlks 1h.: co"s: 'Uut mark th,;; hap, a
COil C,lill,,' h) JIH.1 up the Thisrle car, I Poor Tum \rirhal (that <l!->.l Dock) was made tht:" rl'J Cow's i\1car'
(rhona{" N,,/i{:-:w, p- 9),
~ i iillhnusc :.wu ,\·lorris"':l.:j borh ann01al ..' this as a juvcnik card game or ioke in which the cards are
..... ~ltll.'!\;J ~~buUI, Iljllhuusc lS not ... un: ('possibl) a chihfs g,Ull\.") J,nJ \,,rhik l\iorrisscy docs sound sure, caHing
ill'.: ~.Hl.h.· ·Jad,.-a- \luslanJ', I hJ\c nol bt;cn ahle (0 find a conrcmporary suurCe to e~plain it