Introduction

As I sat down to write this next article weekly lesson it dawned on me

that up until I've never written about one of my greatest mentors, Bill
Mahr (not the comedian)

I've spent a lot of time writing about all of the great pickup artists and
dating coaches who I learned from over the years… but Bill was a
guy who probably had the biggest influence on not only my game with
women, but the way I socialized in general.

Bill was a guy I worked with about 10 years ago as a waiter in a

Mexican restaurant called Jose Tejas.

When I first met him I hated him instantly. He wasn't a great looking
guy, but was the cockiest son of a bitch I ever met. He also had a
way of casually weaving insults into a conversation with him.

In fact, most people would describe Bill as a dick. And he was.

Yet, as people would say "Bill is such a dick" there would be a faint
smile on their face, and a gleam in their eye.
As big of a dick people found Bill to be… they couldn't help but want
him around.

For me, I had met Bill at a time in my life where I was at an incredible
crossroad. Throughout life I had always been pretty shy, timid, and
laid back. But in college, amongst the massive social circle I had
orchestrated, I was beginning to take on a new personality.

The problem was… I could only be that "superstar" in the comfort of

this college social circle. This meant, at Jose Tejas, where I worked,
I was still seen as the "quiet" guy. And although people were friendly
to me, very few of them made an effort to get to know me. And at
that point in my life, I had yet to become the guy who makes the first
move initiating friendships, flirting, or just casual conversation.

I was intimidated by Bill.

He was outgoing, sort of alpha, and had a habit of saying things that
put you on the spot. But for some reason, as much as I avoided Bill,
he seemed to take a liking to me.

As I began to open up around him, he began pressing me for stories

from my college scene. Although he was 26 and had never
graduated college…he seemed to know all about fraternities, campus
life, and sorority house mixers, and the fine art of skating through
classes by "making friends with the professors."

The more Bill got me talking about what I loved, my college scene,
the more I began opening up to him and everyone else at the
restaurant.

Soon Bill began referring to me as "the guy who takes over if

anything happens to me."

And I didn't realize it at the time, but he was silently grooming me to

become him.

I had to be groomed to keep up with him.

He could talk about anything.

When we began to go out hunting chicks together I found myself

amazed at how easily he could carry a conversation with people.

And although he would bust their balls, mildly insult them at times;
everyone always seemed to want to be around him.

What I began to notice is that he seemed to have an infinite

knowledge of every subject.

Bill was never the type of guy who would lecture you, or dish out
advice. And truthfully I very rarely asked him anything personal like
"how did you get so good with girls" or anything like that… but one
time I did ask him how he could talk intelligently about so many
different topics. His answer changed my life.

He said:

You need to learn enough about something to be curious to

learn more.

Right after he said it, he changed the subject and I never pried him
for a bigger explanation.

But years later, at a different restaurant, I had taken over the role of
"Bill." And I had even got myself a little side kick, Eric, who basically
ate up everything I said.

And then one day Eric asked me the same question I had asked Bill
years earlier.

He says "Dude, you constantly surprise me with what you know

about."

And right then I realized that I had taken Bill's advice.

The problem with most conversations, and the art

of trying to "give value."
Throughout this mentorship I have continually given out the advice to
"make people feel important." Or "be their fan."

And this advice seems good on paper… but the problem always
comes when we find it difficult to be "genuinely" interested in other
people.

How to be the Most Interesting Person in the

Room
The fact is, most of the time other people just bore us. And five
minutes into the conversation we want to talk about ourselves.

And people sense this.

And they resent it.

And even if your words are saying "I like you" or "you're so cool" they
can read between the lines and they know that you're a phony who is
pulling their leg.

Bill never made people feel like that.

And because of this… even though he often acted like a complete

dick… people still wanted him around… because he made them feel
important.

And how did he do it?

“You need to learn enough about something to be curious to

learn more.”

This advice was the most priceless advice I barely remember

receiving.

What does it mean?

It means that we like talking about things we know about. We like

talking about things we seem sort of knowledgeable on.
And we hate talking about things we are clueless about.

This means if we follow baseball, we could talk about baseball all day
with someone. But if the other person is a huge hockey fan and
wants to talk about hockey all day… we would most likely find him
boring.

If we are introduced to a businessman who is excited about his

company's latest merger… and we don't know about business… we
would say "all this guy wants to talk about is work."

However, if we had studied a little business in school, and could ask

him a few details, maybe even look a little smart in the process,
suddenly we are enjoying our conversation with this guy.

It is not rocket science.

It is common sense.

But it is barely ever practiced.

Imagine if you were at a party and everyone there spent the entire
time talking about LOST. And you had never seen an episode. You
would probably think "what stupid science fiction nuts spend a whole
party talking about a television show."

But let's say you've watched the first season… but then were too
busy to watch anymore.

You would be an attentive listener, eagerly looking for clues and

answers to some of the unanswered questions in your mind.

Suddenly you would be bonding with people over LOST.

“You need to learn enough about something to be curious to

learn more.”

If you meet a girl out tonight and you find out she is an art major in
college how much "real, honest" interest will you be able to display
about her passion?
On the other hand, if you had read just one book on "understanding
art" how much "real, honest" interest would you be able to display
about her passion?

If you spent one hour every Sunday morning reading the sports
section how much more interested would you be to get into a
discussion about college football, basketball, who's going win the
American League MVP… or any other sports related conversation
that came up?

If you read a couple books on marketing or sales… do you think you

would hit it off a little better with someone who is living in that world?

If you find yourself going to clubs all the time to meet women… do
you think you'd do a little bit better with these women if you spent a
little time learning the language of their world (who the best DJs are,
what songs are hot, what other clubs are popular)

Broaden your knowledge bank

We are interested in what we are curious about.

And it takes a little knowledge about something to become curious.

So wouldn't it make sense to force yourself to gain a little more

knowledge in a whole new variety of topics?

This would make you curious about more things… which would make
you interested in more things… which would make you a much more
interesting conversationalist.

I didn't start liking Bill because he told me interesting things.

I started liking him because he was one of the few people in the
restaurant who knowledgably could talk about "college life" with me.

And he had NEVER been to college.

How many more people could you connect with if you were just a little
more curious about them?
Stop trying to make other people interested in you…

And get interested in them.

And the only way you are going to become more interested in them is
by learning enough about a whole broad range of topics that you can
find something you are both mutually curious about.

Yes, this means not spending all of your time reading only PUA
material.

Or reading only sports material.

Or only reading music magazines.

You need to learn enough about something to be curious to

learn more.”

Get on it.

Weekly Schedule of Activities

1. Begin implementing the "curiosity mindset"

2. Choose another subject to gain knowledge on this week…

maybe music, art, cooking… anything other than your normal
interests…