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Short Paper
Short Paper
Short Paper
Short Paper-
Summer O’Hara
2/19/2019
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this I assumed it was communication done with strangers or acquaintances; people we don’t have
a relationship with, but I guess I was wrong. It is actually the complete opposite. It is a personal
type of communication we share with friends, significant others, or family members. This type
of communication is a way to reveal personal things about ourselves; “The warts and all.” to the
people we feel close enough with to share. This is a way for us to build bonds with others. (Dr.
Jess Alberts)
Dr. Jess Alberts video covers a research study she did and her ideas on interpersonal
communications. She states that “The person you are talking to you view as unique and
irreplaceable.”(Dr. Jess Alberts) This is one way to determine if the conversations you are
having is interpersonal or impersonal. One question you could ask yourself is: What does this
person mean to me? Or even: Where can you see this relationship going or growing to become
more?
Dr. Alberts conducted a study with 10 different married couples where she recorded them
every evening for a week and would call and ask them questions. She took all the
correspondence between the couples and coded it into groups. By doing this she was able to
better analyze what was being said and how it was being taken. This study showed her and her
team around twelve different things about interpersonal communication amongst these partners,
but she only talked about 4 in the video. The four findings she mentioned in the video are
conversations.
As many would expect the out of the 10 couples some had conflict within their marriage.
There were eight who had very little conflict in their relationships were happily married while
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the other two had conflict were not happy. This was something they had expected to hear. This is
often the case because how can someone be happy if they are often arguing or bickering with
their partner.
Another thing the study showed was that surprisingly a lot of important conversations
occur while watching television together. You may ask; why would people talk while watching
television; wouldn’t this ruin it? Well when you are watching something on the television and a
memory is triggered by from something in the show or movie you are likely to share this
memory with the other person or people in the room. By doing this it makes it easier for some of
us to talk about something that is either sensitive or not the easiest thing to share with another
person. This is because you are lacking eye contact and fully engaging in conversation with the
other person.
A lot of times we will have a conversation with our partner that can feel one-sided; like
you are talking to a wall or fence post. Turns out this is very common among conversations
between couples and happens more often than you’d think. A lot of times in a relationship there
is one person does most or all of the talking while to other one isn’t fully engaged and will either
respond with one-word answers, a nod or even nothing at all. Sometimes this helps to balance
out a relationship because we aren’t the same; no one wants to be with someone who is identical
to them all the time. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing or them being ruse it is just a way many of
us process information. Sometimes it takes us a second to fully understand what someone else
says.
Another thing Dr. Alberts noticed was that couples often do something called “bidding
for attention” which means one person will mention something that isn’t really relevant to what
is going on or being talked about at the moment just to get attention on them. By doing this it can
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either add to a current conversation, create a new conversation or just draw attention to the
person pointing this out. This is done by simply mentioning the weather outside or something
split on the floor; this will draw the other person in to possibly converse more and puts attention
on you.
These types of relationships are usually diverse, intimate and intensifying. Intensifying
refers to a stage of romantic relational development in which both people seek to increase
intimacy and connectedness. People are more likely to be open with one another in an
for all our relationships because we learn from all types of communication we have be it big or
small.
would make for very uneventful lives. Imagine if no one shared things with one another or spoke
openly and honestly? It would be like living in a world full of zombies since we would all be the
same and act as strangers. I feel that no one could ever truly be happy, have someone to lean on
or confide in if it wasn’t for having personal open conversations with others. Plus, it can’t be
healthy to keep everything bottled up inside and to yourself. It would be a very lonely world for
us all.
think we do. We are always bonding with the people closest to us even when we don’t mean to
or realize we are. We all need someone to share out feelings, thoughts and ideas with and this is
all done through interpersonal communication with our peers. We should never be intimidated or
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feel uneasy about growing relationships and learning more about ourselves and those we care
about or love.
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Human Communication in Society With Pearson Etext. Pearson College Div, 2015.