Chapter 1

Lauren sighed to herself as she transferred a few assorted items

from her backpack into her newly assigned locker. It seemed like
only yesterday that she was finishing her sophomore year of high
school and eagerly anticipating the summer break. Now, weeks
later, Lauren found herself back in the same, bustling and chaotic
hallway which she’d first been acquainted with two years
previously, preparing herself for what would inevitably be a
return to another year of monotonous routine. It wasn’t that
Lauren didn’t like school, because, in actuality, she did. Lauren
loved to learn and prided herself on being a straight A student.
She enjoyed the crisp and unsoiled feel of a new book in her
hands, whether it was the fictional work of an undiscovered
author or newly assigned history textbook. She reveled in the
challenge of trying to solve complex math problems, liked learning
about the physiological foundations of the human form, losing
herself in the lives and struggles of those who had lived before
her. Knowledge is power, or so Lauren had often heard and she
couldn’t deny the sense of achievement that she felt when she
could apply something that she’d learnt to a situation in her own
life, even if it was only to ensure that she consumed the
recommended amount of water a day to ensure that her kidneys
didn’t go into failure. It wasn’t the routine of school that Lauren
dreaded, because actually, she thought it would be quite nice to
once again have some structure to her day. Instead, it was the
 tedious and mundane practice of everyone returning to their
assumed high school clichés and roles which Lauren couldn’t
stand. Lauren wouldn’t have ever described herself as popular but
at the same time she wasn’t ever treated like a misfit by the rest
of the student population. Lauren just kind of existed in high
school, suspended somewhere between the social elite and the
socially unacceptable. Lauren felt just as comfortable having
conversations with the few friends that she had on the
cheerleading squad as she did with those in the school band or
show choir. Perhaps that‘s why she never liked the customary
segregation which inevitably came with the start of the school
year, because for her part, Lauren didn’t fit into the stereotypical
cliques which every coming of age movie liked to portray on
screen. She was happy with the person that her parents had
raised her to be, someone who wasn’t judgemental, who was
tolerant and openminded. Lauren didn’t pick her friends based on
what they could do for her social standing; she chose them
because of how they could enrich her own life, because of their
experiences, their intellect, their talent and their kindness. If there
was one thing which Lauren hated about the tediousness of high
school, it was the ignorance and cruelty of some of those who
attended it. Lauren sighed to herself once again, closing her locker
door firmly and almost finding herself flattened against it by the
weight of someone pouncing on her shoulders, a small shriek of
excitement erupting from their mouths as they did so. Lauren
 smiled to herself as she felt the weight evaporate almost as soon
as it had appeared and turned around to face the unannounced
intruder. “Hey!” Normani greeted animatedly, pulling Lauren into
what could only be described as an allencompassing bear hug.
“I’ve missed you this summer!” “Manibear…” Lauren just about
managed to vocalise, her voice almost lost with the inability to
draw oxygen into her lungs due to Normani’s python like grip.
Realising she was nigh on crushing her best friend, Normani
released her hold on Lauren and smiled at her apologetically.
“Sorry,” she said, reaching for Lauren’s hand and tugging on it
gently so that it was linked with her own. “I guess I got a little bit
carried away after not seeing you for the last seven weeks.”
Lauren laughed, bumping Normani slightly with her hip as they
started to make their way down the crowded hallway together.
“It’s not like I completely abandoned you.” Lauren protested. “We
spoke on Skype at least once a week and we text every day. You
make it sound like I was away in the Arctic with no available form
of communication for the entirety of my absence.” “Softball
camp, the arctic….they might as well be the same thing.” Normani
sighed dramatically. “Either way, my summer vacation was
seriously lacking in quality time with you so sue me for being
enthusiastic about our reunion. It’s only because I missed you.” “I
missed you too Manibear,” Lauren reciprocated bumping
Normani playfully with her shoulder before pulling her back into
her side via their entwined hands. “Well, at least you had Ally to
 keep you company in my absence.” Lauren reminded the other
girl as they continued down the hallway. “Where is she anyway?
Ithought she’d be with you.” “She said she’d meet us here,”
Normani informed Lauren. “She’s coming in with Troy this
morning.” She finished raising her eyebrow suggestively. “Oh
really?” Lauren asked, intrigued. “Tell me more.” “Well,” Normani
started, dropping her voice and leaning closer to Lauren to
prevent unwanted eavesdroppers overhearing their conversation.
“Let’s just say that they got very serious over the summer.”
“Interesting…How serious are we talking?” Lauren asked dropping
her voice to the same level as Normani’s in search of clarification.
“Very,” Normani said. “I’m surprised that she didn’t tell you.”
“She’s been visiting family in Texas the last couple of weeks and
I’ve been busy catching up with family since I’ve been back”
Lauren shrugged indifferently. “We haven’t had a chance to catch
up properly yet. I’m sure she’ll fill me in when I see her.”
“Speaking of seeing her,” Normani said pointing towards Ally, her
short height almost hiding her view behind the throng of students
passing by. She was standing, her back towards them whilst she
talked to her boyfriend Troy in front of a row of orange lockers
against the wall to their left. Lauren and Normani approached the
pair of them, dodging their way around both moving and static
obstacles in their path. “Hey girls,” Troy greeted, smiling brightly
when Normani and Lauren reached them. “Hi,” they replied in
unison, Lauren offering a small wave with her free hand. “I’ll see
 you at lunch?” He asked Ally, leaning down to plant a chaste kiss
on her lips. She nodded shyly in response. “See you both later,”
he said turning his attention back towards Lauren and Normani
before heading off in search of his friends, pausing only
momentarily to glance back at Ally and smile. “Ugh,” Normani
groaned jokingly. “You two are so adorable it actually physically
pains me to be around you sometimes.” “Oh stop it,” Ally
chastised, hitting Normani playfully on the arm. “You and Arin
aren’t much better.” “At least we have the decency to keep our
PDA out of the school hallway,” Normani informed her teasingly
before releasing Lauren’s hand and reaching forward to pull the
shorter girl into a warm hug. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that the
next time I have to watch you two making out in the lunch room.”
Ally said as the two of them separated and she turned her
attention to Lauren. “Hey Lo,” Ally greeted Lauren as the two of
them embraced one another. “Allycat,” Lauren replied squeezing
Ally firmly in her arms before releasing her and leaning her back
against the locker behind her. “How was Texas?” “Nah uh,” Ally
said, resting her right shoulder against the locker to her side as
she faced Lauren. “I want to hear all about Softball camp, more
specifically, this girl that you kept mentioning at every available
opportunity. Texas can wait.” “There’s nothing to tell really,”
Lauren said smirking. “You could have fooled us,” Normani replied
huddling closer to Ally. “I swear, every text message I received
from you mentioned Clare.” “Same,” Ally agreed nodding her
head. “So what’s the deal? Do you two still keep in touch? Are you
still seeing each other?” “No,” Lauren replied a small smile
creeping on to her lips at the memory of the girl she’d met at
camp. “It was just a summer fling. That’s all.” “Shame,” Normani
stated matter of factly. “It’s about time you finally found someone
to stop you from being the fifth wheel on our dates.” “Ugh, thanks
for that Mani,” Lauren said feigning hurt. “I didn’t realise I was the
awkward fifth wheel.” “You know what I mean Lo,” Normani
replied waving off her previous statement. “You never date
anyone at school…” “Maybe that’s because there are surprisingly
few out and proud lesbians here besides myself,” Lauren
objected. “What about that girl you went out with towards the
end of school last year….what was her name?” Normani
questioned. “Rachel?” Lauren asked. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
Normani confirmed. “She was cute.” “She was also completely in
the closet,” Lauren informed her friends. “I don’t want to hide
who I am. You know that.” “Yeah we know,” Normani said
reaching for Lauren’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly. “It’s just
you deserve to have someone that makes you happy and….”
Normani’s words were interrupted by the sound of books being
scattered across the floor behind her and she jumped reflexively
at the sudden noise. “Shit!” someone cursed loudly causing
Lauren and the other two girls to look in the direction it had
originated from. From her position further along the hallway
Lauren noted the back of a small brunette girl that she didn’t
recognise bending down to pick up the offending items and failing
miserably at the task. “Wow,” Ally said in surprise. “I didn’t expect
to see her back at school today.” “Who?” Lauren asked watching
the brunette finally manage to get one of the notebooks she’d
dropped back into her hands whilst trying to avoid being trodden
on by the oblivious students that walked by, completely ignoring
her difficulties. “Camila,” Ally told her. “Cabello?” Normani asked
astonished, studying the girl closer from her vantage point.
“Yeah,” Ally replied turning back to face Lauren who was
examining the girl as she scrambled to pick up another of her
notebooks trying to put a face to the name. “Isn’t she the girl that
lives down your street?” Lauren asked trying to recollect an image
of the girl. “Your families go to church together right?” “Yeah,”
Ally confirmed. “I don’t get it,” Lauren said confused. “Why is it
such a surprise that she’s back at school?” “Are you serious?”
Normani asked amazed. “Didn’t you hear what happened to her?”
“No,” Lauren replied. “What?” “She almost died this summer,”
Ally told Lauren. “I thought I’d told you about it when we spoke
on Skype? I guess not.” “What?” Lauren said glancing back at the
girl who was still struggling with her books. “Are you sure it was
her? She looks fine.” “Positive.” Ally informed her. “It was in all
the local papers and our church would light candles and pray for
her.” “Why what happened to her?” Lauren asked still not
believing Ally’s story. Follow “I can’t believe you haven’t heard,”
Normani stated. “Everyone was talking about it. I’m surprised
 your parents didn’t fill you in when you got back from camp.”
“Yeah,” Ally agreed. “It was all my parents could talk about for
weeks.” Ally paused a moment to cast a quick look over her
shoulder at Camila who had finally managed to pick up her books,
only to drop them once again as someone tried to rush past her
and knocked them from her hands. The girl groaned in frustration,
throwing her back onto the floor at the foot of her locker and
bending down once again to retrieve them. “She was hit by a car
whilst crossing the road at the beginning of the summer,” Ally
continued, turning her attention back to Lauren who was still
watching Camila with interest. “Apparently, the car didn’t even
stop. It just went straight through a red light and ran her down as
she made her way over the crossing.” “I go to dance class with her
friend Dinah,” Normani went on. “She was literally devastated
after it happened. Apparently, Camila was in a coma for three
weeks after the accident and the doctors had told her parents to
prepare for the worst. Dinah was distraught. She said the doctors
had said it was a miracle that Camila had even woken up at all.”
“My parents told me that they’d spoken to her parents at church
and that the doctors had said that if it hadn’t have been for the
bystanders who called the ambulance straight away she would
have died,” Ally confirmed. “She was in hospital for weeks. I think
she was only released home last Monday.” “She looks alright now
though,” Lauren said numbly glancing back at the girl who had
now retrieved her notebooks and was trying to open her locker.
 “Dinah told me that she suffered a massive head injury though,”
Normani confided with Lauren. “She had to have brain surgery
and everything.” “It’s true,” Ally supported. “She had a massive
bleed in her brain or something and they had to remove it.” “I
don’t remember seeing her around last year.” Lauren admitted.
“Has she always attended here?” “Yeah,” Normani said, “she’s
kind of shy though. I think Dinah is one of her only friends.
They’ve known each other since they were born. I think their
parents were friends in high school or something.” “She’s actually
really nice,” Ally supplied. “I had a couple of classes with her last
year. She used to help me out with some of my AP math work.”
They all turned in the girls direction once again as they heard the
sound of books colliding with the floor and discovered that Camila
had managed to open her locker, only to lose her grip on the
troublesome stationery. Camila cursed aloud and bent down to
reclaim the books once again from the floor before her. Lauren
noted that one of them had found its way into the middle of the
hallway just as it collided with an oncoming student’s foot and
was kicked unintentionally in their direction. The notebook slid
unimpeded until it collided with Normani’s foot and Lauren bent
down to pick it up, the other girls watching intently. The notebook
was thick and the pages crumpled around the edges from being
used repetitively. Lauren couldn’t help but flick the pages open
out of habit and her eyes fell on the work within where she
paused. “What is that?” Normani asked glancing over the page as
 Lauren held the book in front of her. “Writing,” Lauren said
sighing guiltily, realising that she’d unintentionally invaded
Camila’s privacy. “I can’t even read it,” Normani said squinting.
“That’s not Camila’s writing,” Ally said after catching a quick
glance of the work as Lauren hastily closed the book. “Her
handwriting was really neat. I remember it from some of the math
work she showed me. That writing is barely legible.” “Well,”
Lauren said sadly. “This is her writing now.” “Oh,” Ally said,
realisation dawning on her. “You mean…” “I think this is an
exercise book,” Lauren admitted as she stepped around Normani
and started to make her way towards Camila who knelt on the
floor surveying it in search of her last missing book, the others
now safely stashed in her locker. Normani and Ally watched as
Lauren approached the brunette and tapped her gently on the left
shoulder. “Hey,” Lauren greeted as Camila turned to face her, “I
think you…” Lauren’s words caught in her throat as Camila lifted
her face to look at who was addressing her. The first thing Lauren
noticed was the other girl’s eyes. Deep, dark pools of chocolate
brown which she was in the very real danger of drowning in as
Camila stood up to her full height. “Uhh….” Lauren tried to finish
her thought, the notebook held out between the two of them.
“Thanks,” Camila said gratefully as she glanced down at the item
in Lauren’s hands and took it back in her own. The loss of eye
contact, allowed Lauren the opportunity to recover her wits.
Camila scrutinised the book in her hands, flicking through the
pages as though she didn’t recognise it and Lauren used this time
to examine the other girls’ features properly. It was only from this
distance that Lauren could see the marks of Camila’s accident and
accept the truth of Ally and Normani’s words. The left side of
Camila’s head was shaved close to her skull, a thick, pink, circular
scar protruding from her scalp where’d she obviously had surgery.
From a distance, a long layer of hair had hidden it from view but
up close, what was effectively an undercut did little to disguise
the obvious trauma Camila had undergone. Camila lifted her gaze
to look at Lauren once again, closing the notebook in her hands as
she did so. Lauren finally saw the other girls face properly for the
first time and despite the obvious scar which extended from her
forehead and across her left eyebrow, she couldn’t help but find
Camila stunning. Lauren wondered how she’d never paid any
attention to the other girl over the past two years together at
school, not when she was standing here now, lost for words and
for the first time in her life, completely paralysed but the
butterflies she felt erupting in her stomach. Lauren caught herself
staring at Camila and quickly glanced back towards the notebook
between them, her eyes sweeping over Camila’s delicate fingers
and taking in the stiff wrist splint which covered her left hand.
Camila, obviously following Lauren’s gaze, pulled at the sleeve of
her sweater subconsciously in an attempt to cover her hand. “I’m
sorry,” Lauren apologised, sensing the other girls discomfort.
“That’s ok,” Camila replied, turning to place the notebook in her
 locker. “I’m getting used to it.” “No, it was rude of me to stare,”
Lauren reiterated, watching as Camila closed her locker. “Well…”
Was all Camila responded, her voice trailing off as though her
thoughts were lost midsentence. Camila picked her bag up from
the floor and put it over her shoulder before making a move to
leave. Lauren stopped her, reaching for the other girls hand and
pulling on it gently. “I’m Lauren,” she said as Camila turned back
around to face her. “Ok,” Camila answered simply. Lauren shifted
uncomfortably on her feet, unsure whether Camila was going to
introduce herself. After a moment of awkward silence, Lauren
decided that she wasn’t and so asked, “You’re Camila right?”
“Yeah,” Camila replied frowning suspiciously. “Listen, I wondered
if….” Lauren began, but she was interrupted by someone shouting
Camila’s name off to her right. Lauren turned just as another girl
reached them, slightly out of breath and anxious. “Mila,” the
other girl said once she’d caught her breath. “I went to the
guidance counsellor’s room looking for you only to find you
weren’t there. I’ve been searching all over for you “I’m here,”
Camila answered matter of factly. “Well I can see that,” the other
girl responded. “You were supposed to wait there for me so I
could make sure you get to class ok.” “I needed to put some
things in my locker,” Camila answered as though it were the most
obvious thing in the world. “Mila,” the other girl said, casting a
confused look at Lauren when she finally noticed her standing
there. “You….you’re not supposed…you were. Didn’t you listen to
 what the guidance counsellor said?” “No,” Camila admitted. “My
mom did.” “What did your mom say after the meeting?” The
other girl asked seemingly frustrated. “I don’t know,” Camila said
honestly. “Didn’t she say anything?” The other girl asked. “She
did,” Camila informed her. “What was it? Did she write it down
for you?” The other girl questioned again, her eyes searching
Camila’s arms for the notebooks she’d had earlier. “Where’s your
notebook?” “In my locker,” Camila replied. “Mila,” the other girl
groaned slightly. “Umm….I should go,” Lauren interrupted feeling
out of place. “Leave you guys to it…” Camila and her friend both
looked at Lauren, the other girl finally acknowledging her
presence. “Sorry,” she apologised. “I hope she wasn’t bothering
you.” “Actually, I was bothering her,” Lauren replied slightly
confused. “She dropped her notebook. I was just…giving it back to
her.” “Oh, thanks…” The other girl said searchingly. “Lauren,” she
informed her. “Thanks Lauren.” The other girl said now that she
had a name. “I’m Dinah.” “Hi,” Lauren greeted before turning
back to Camila who was watching the interaction silently. “Maybe
I’ll see you around Camila?” “Maybe,” Camila agreed causing
Lauren to smile. “You don’t really say too much do you?” Lauren
questioned noticing Camila’s lack of small talk. “Can’t,” she
answered simply pointing at the scar on her head. “Oh,” Lauren
said feeling bad for the second time in ten minutes. “Sorry.”
Camila looked at Dinah expectantly. “She sometimes has trouble
with her words.” Dinah informed Lauren for Camila. “You know,
 since the accident. She’s getting better though, right Mila?”
Camila gave Lauren a thumbs up with her right hand. “Right,” she
said in response to Dinah’s words. “She can manage a few short
sentences but, when she tries to talk a lot the words get jumbled
up or she gets stuck and she doesn’t want to look like an idiot.”
Dinah continued to explain. Camila pouted as Dinah spoke and
Lauren couldn’t help the feeling that swept through her at the
adorable expression on the other girls face. Camila nodded after
Dinah had finished speaking and smiled at Lauren. “Well,” Dinah
continued chuckling to herself. “Any more of an idiot then she
already was, that is.” Camila pulled a stupid face and spun her
finger around by her head to emphasise Dinah’s words causing a
wide grin to spread across Lauren’s features. The warning bell
rang to signal that they should all start moving towards their first
class and Lauren glanced back in the direction of Normani and Ally
who’d been watching the interaction with great interest from
where they’d been standing by the lockers further along the
hallway. “I should go,” Lauren said turning back to face Camila
and Dinah. “Thanks for your help,” Dinah said sincerely. “I didn’t
really do anything.” Lauren replied. “Yeah, but, still…thanks”
Dinah reiterated. “No problem,” Lauren answered smiling at
Camila who was watching her closely grinning. “Bye Camila.” She
said. Camila waved her right hand slightly. “Goodbye Lauren.”
Camila reciprocated enunciating each word slowly. “Maybe I’ll see
you around.” Lauren smiled as she repeated Camila’s own words
 from earlier back to her, “maybe.” Camila laughed a loud,
reflexive laugh, which reached deep down into Lauren’s soul and
made the butterflies in her stomach flutter even more than they
already had been. It was one of the most infectious laughs that
Lauren had ever heard and the reaction that it gained from Dinah,
told Lauren that it was probably something she hadn’t heard from
her friend in a while the other girl was grinning so much. Lauren
smiled at the pair of them before turning around and making her
way back towards Ally and Normani, casting quick glances back at
Camila and Dinah as she did so. Dinah was rummaging through
Camila’s locker in search of her notebook whilst Camila watched
Lauren as she left, curiosity etched on her face. “Ok,” Normani
said when Lauren reached her and Ally. “What was that?” she
asked as they started to head down the hallway towards first
period. “What was what?” Lauren asked, trying to stifle the grin
that was plastered across her face. “Oh my God,” Ally said reading
her friends face. “You like her don’t you?” “What?” Lauren asked
surprised. “Don’t be ridiculous Ally. Ijust met her.” “Then why do
you look like you’ve just won a million dollars?” Normani asked. “I
don’t,” Lauren protested, casting a look over her shoulder back in
Camila’s direction and feeling her stomach drop slightly when she
noticed the other girl struggling to explain something to Dinah
who was reading something out of her notebook. “You can’t keep
your eyes off her,” Ally observed. “You like her.” “I’m just worried
about her.” Lauren responded. “You didn’t even know her two
 minutes ago,” Normani reminded her of her own words. “She’s
interesting,” Lauren acknowledged. “I mean, if what you said is
true then she’s been through a lot this summer. I find it kind of
inspiring that she’s already back at school and pushing through
it.” Normani and Ally shared a meaningful look which didn’t go
unnoticed by Lauren. “I don’t like her,” Lauren repeated
stubbornly. “Yeah ok,” Normani said sarcastically as Lauren cast
another glance back at Camila just before they turned a corner
and she was out of sight. “I would just kind of like to know her
story that’s all.” Lauren continued as they came to a stop outside
of her classroom. Normani raised her eyebrow slightly and Ally
just looked at Lauren knowingly. “Crap,” Lauren said finally
admitting it. “Ilike her.” “No shit,” Normani stated simply, leaving
Lauren to watch as her and Ally made their way to their own
classes. ‘Fuck’ Lauren thought as she turned and made her way
into first period alone.“I really like her.”
Chapter 2
The first class of the new school year, biology, passed by
uneventfully and in all honesty, painfully slowly for Lauren who
had sat alone, her thoughts consumed by this morning’s
interaction with Camila. Luckily, being the first day back after
summer break, most of today’s classes would be concerned with
seating assignments, discussion around the syllabus for that
semester and allocation of textbooks rather than anything of any
great import. Ever since she’d spoken to Camila this morning, the
 brunette was all Lauren seemed to be able to think about. She
consumed every thought, the recollection of her dark chocolate
eyes, the memory of her deep infectious laugh, stirring feelings in
Lauren which she’d never experienced before. Camila intrigued
Lauren in a way no one else ever had, her mere existence posing
an endless array of questions which Lauren would gladly take the
time to find answers to, if the opportunity should present itself.
Lauren had spoken to Camila for maybe ten minutes this morning,
but she was already craving her like a drug addict did their next
hit. There was something about Camila that Lauren couldn’t shake
off. It was like the small brunette had crawled under her skin and
set up permanent residence there and to be brutally honest, the
feelings it evoked within her managed to both scare the shit out
of Lauren and excite her all at the same time. Finally, the bell
signalling the end to first period rang and Lauren collected up her
backpack from its position on the floor and filled it with her newly
acquired textbooks. She briskly flung the bag over her shoulder
and made a beeline for the door, escaping the confines of the
strangely oppressive classroom and joining the thong of students
hastily moving throughout the hallway beyond it. Once outside,
Lauren couldn’t help but scan the sea of faces in search of the
eyes which seemed to have been permanently imprinted in her
memory but, was disappointed not to locate them anywhere in
the local vicinity as she quickly made her way to homeroom for
registration. Lauren’s high school had some elective classes
scheduled at the beginning of the day, so, homeroom was pushed
back slightly to fall between first and second period. As Lauren
entered the rapidly filling classroom, she noted Ally waving at her
from a seat in the far right hand corner of the room and made her
way towards an empty desk located just in front of her. Lauren
threw her bag under the desk and sat down, turning around in her
chair slightly to face Ally so that they could talk. “Hey,” she said
greeting the smaller girl with a smile. “I didn’t realise you had
Miss Lovato for homeroom too.” “Yeah,” Ally replied happily. “We
didn’t really get a chance to compare schedules before first period
in the end.” “Do you know if Normani has Miss Lovato as well?”
Lauren asked hopefully. “No,” Ally informed Lauren. “Normani
and Troy both have Mr Lopez.” “Sucks,” Lauren noted, casting a
wary eye over her shoulder quickly to make sure Miss Lovato had
still not arrived. “At least we know each other,” Ally noted
thankfully. “It could have been worse.” “True,” Lauren agreed
before asking. “So how was first period? Did anything exciting
happen?” “No,” Ally responded sighing slightly. “It was just the
standard first day back routine, nothing more, nothing less.”
“What did you have?” Lauren asked her curiously. “AP math,” Ally
told her. “Oh,” Lauren responded, wondering whether to ask her
next question. “You’re so obvious that it’s almost painful to
watch,” Ally stated simply, watching Lauren’s internal dilemma
with amusement. “What do you mean?” Lauren asked. “You want
to know whether Camila was in my class,” Ally replied laughing to
herself. “Am Ithat obvious?” Lauren asked. “Surprisingly yes,” Ally
began. “It’s funny actually. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this
before. What did the two of you talk about that made you like her
so much?” “That’s the thing!” Lauren answered in frustration.
“We didn’t really talk about anything. Iliterally just gave her the
notebook back and then her friend turned up.” Lauren paused for
a moment to run her hand through her hair and move it out of her
eyes. “Well, in answer to your well veiled question,” Ally said
reaching forward to place a hand on Lauren’s wrist. “No, Camila
wasn’t in my AP math class.” “Crap,” Lauren stated. Ally laughed.
“Were you hoping that I could get some intel on her for you?” she
asked. “No Ally,” Lauren said nodding in the direction of the door
as Camila and Dinah entered. “Oh….” Ally said following Lauren’s
gaze. “Crap.” Lauren watched as Dinah and Camila took two
empty together seats towards the middle of the room before
turning back to Ally who was watching her in amusement. “Wow,”
Ally said noticing how nervous her normally calm and collected
friend appeared. “You’ve really fallen hard for her. You’re usually
so selfassured and confident. What the hell happened to you? You
were fine this morning.” “I don’t know,” Lauren admitted
between gritted teeth, trying to keep her voice low. “That’s the
problem. I barely even know Camila but she’s literally been all I’ve
thought about since I spoke to her this morning.” “It’s probably
just a crush,” Ally informed her, waving her hand dismissively.
“Everyone gets them. I’m sure it’ll pass in a day or two.” “Are you
 sure?” Lauren asked uncertainly. “I mean, I thought I’d had
crushes before but this…this is nothing like anything I’ve ever felt
in the past.” “Lauren,” Ally said seriously taking the other girls
hand in her own and squeezing it reassuringly. “I’m going to tell
you something that you may or may not like.” Lauren frowned at
Ally’s words. “What?” she asked uneasily. “You love people with
stories.” Ally continued and a look of confusion fell across
Lauren’s face. “Ok,” Lauren said drawing out the word puzzled.
“Camila,” Ally said, nodding her head in the direction of the girl
who was sat a few feet in front, her forehead resting on her arms
atop her desk. “She has a really good story.” “Ally,” Lauren
protested. “What the hell are you talking about?” “Think about it
Lauren,” Ally responded. “Camila has been going to this school for
the last two years and you’ve never even once given her a second
thought. Why is that? Why is it just now that you’re suddenly
interested in her?” Lauren raised her eyebrow, shaking her head
slightly and Ally took it as a sign to go on. “It’s because now she
has a story.” Ally told her as though it should be obvious. “She’s
been through something that a lot of people at this school will
never understand or ever experience. She almost died.” Ally
paused for effect. “That is what is drawing you to her.” Ally
finished. “You’re intrigued because you want to know what it’s
like to come face to face with your own mortality and not
succumb to it.” Lauren glanced back in Camila’s direction and
pondered Ally’s words. In a weird way, they kind of made sense,
 but, at the same time, Lauren couldn’t help but feel that her
attraction to Camila was more than just on an intellectual and
academic level. It was physical too. She was attracted to Camila,
to her physical form, her long dark hair, deep chocolate eyes and
full lips. It wasn’t just about the stories she could tell or the
experiences she could share with Lauren. It was Camila herself.
Lauren heard the classroom door close and turned to see Miss
Lovato making her way towards the front of the classroom. She
turned around in her seat to face forward and watched as the
young teacher, placed her shoulder bag on her chair before
walking around the desk and perching herself on top of it, facing
the room. Lauren had been in Miss Lovato’s English class last year
and had very quickly decided that she was one of her, if not her
favourite teacher at school. She was younger than most of the
teachers that worked here having only been out of college for a
few years but she respected the students at the school, treating
them like adults, which in turn earned her their respect. Miss
Lovato went through the formalities required of homeroom,
taking attendance and handing out a few school notices before
addressing the students before her on a more personal level.
“Ok,” she started, surveying the faces before her, a large smile on
her face. “How was everyone’s summer vacation? Did you all have
a good break?” Miss Lovato stood slowly from where she’d been
leant against her desk and stood up, pacing back and forth in front
of the class, seemingly comfortable to talk as though they were all
 old friend who were just catching up after a couple of months
apart. “I personally had a great summer vacation.” she went on as
she continued pacing. “I went to Africa for a few weeks to visit the
orphanages out there and even had the amazing opportunity of
going on safari.” She stopped pacing once she reached the middle
of the room and leant back against her desk again. “David,” she
said addressing a boy sat in the middle of the front row. “What
did you get up to this summer?” “Uh,” David clearly surprised at
being put on the spot. “I went to basketball camp.” “Excellent,”
Miss Lovato responded. “Ally, what about you?” she said standing
up and walking down the aisle towards where her and Lauren sat.
“I stayed home.” Ally answered. “That’s it?” Miss Lovato asked.
“You didn’t do anything else over the summer?” “Well,” Ally
started, “I went to Texas to see my grandparents.” “Great,” Miss
Lovato said enthusiastically, turning around and starting to make
her way back towards the front of the room. Lauren watched her
as she passed Camila, who, with the current topic of conversation
had sat up in her chair anxiously, clearly dreading the thought that
she would be addressed with the same question. To her credit,
Miss Lovato squeezed Camila’s shoulder reassuringly as she
passed, not making eye contact and quickly changing tact.
“Alright,” she said as she arrived back at the front of the class.
“You guys have twenty minutes until your next period. I want you
to turn to the person on your right and discuss with them the
following things.” Miss Lovato made her way to the whiteboard
and began to make a list of questions. They included trivial things
such as what you did over the summer, your favourite band, your
favourite books etc. “By the end of homeroom, I want everyone
to have at least learnt something new about one other person in
this room.” She informed them. “I’m not saying you’ll become
friends or anything but, you never know, stranger things have
happened.”
Accepting Miss Lovato’s instructions without question, the room
broke out into noisy conversation as everyone started chatting
enthusiastically. Lauren turned to her right, only to realise that
the desk was empty and quickly looked around the room to see if
anyone else was without a partner. “Lauren,” she heard Miss
Lovato say as she came up beside her. “Could you go and sit next
to Dinah?” she asked. “Uh, Miss Lovato,” Lauren began confused.
“Camila is sat next to Dinah.” “I know,” Miss Lovato agreed. “I’m
asking you to please switch with her.” Lauren looked towards
where Camila was sitting and noticed the other girl watching her
conversation as though waiting for something. “Camila,” Miss
Lovato beckoned the brunette as Lauren slowly stood from her
chair casting a puzzled look in Ally’s direction, the other girl having
looked up on noticing her friend’s movement. Lauren picked up
her bag and made her way down to where Camila had been
sitting, but, now stood standing patiently. “I guess we will be
seeing each other around,” Camila managed slowly as Lauren
reached her, a small smile creeping onto her lips. Lauren couldn’t
 help but smile back at her as Camila moved out of the way and
allowed her to take her seat. “I guess we will.” Lauren agreed as
she lowered herself into the chair beside Dinah. “Hi again,”
Lauren greeted and Dinah smiled warmly at her. “Hi,” the other
girl replied. “So…summer vacation? Tell me everything.” “Camila,”
Miss Lovato beckoned the other girl again and she shared a look
with both Dinah and Lauren before making her way up towards
the empty desks which the teacher had pushed closer together.
“Here have a seat.” She offered kindly. Camila did as she was
asked and Miss Lovato took a seat at the desk beside her, leaning
over and closing the gap in between them to try and keep their
conversation as confidential as possible in a room full of students.
“Firstly,” Miss Lovato started placing a hand on top of Camila’s
kindly. “It’s really nice to see you back at school today, I wasn’t
sure that you would be back so soon.” “Me neither,” Camila
answered honestly. “How has everything been so far?” Miss
Lovato asked. “Any problems I should be aware of?” “Beside me?”
Camila asked disparagingly. “Camila you aren’t’ a problem.” Miss
Lovato informed the youngster. “Miss Lovato,” Camila started,
pausing for a moment to think about her next words. “The school
has been really good letting me…..come back but…” Camila
dropped her gaze momentarily thinking and Miss Lovato waited
patiently for the girl to continue. “I can’t write,” Camila admitted,
meeting her gaze again. “I struggle to read sometimes…” “So do a
lot of students here Camila,” Miss Lovato encouraged. “I can’t
 speak properly.” Camila said ashamed. “You’re speaking fine.”
Miss Lovato praised reassuringly. “I don’t sleep anymore.” Camila
told her, “I get headaches and I can’t concentrate properly.” “So
far,” Miss Lovato said smiling kindly. “You sound like every other
kid I’ve taught at this school. I don’t’ want you to think that you’re
alone going through this, ok?” “I had to drop all my AP classes,”
Camila said dejectedly, “I…I used….to be a….straight A student…”
she managed to force out, “now…I can’t even…ttie my own…
shoelaces properly.” Miss Lovato smiled at Camila sadly. “Camila,
you have been through a lot over the summer. No one is
expecting you to get better overnight. It’ll take time and hard
work. From what I’ve heard, you weren’t even breathing by
yourself ten weeks ago…” Miss Lovato placed a reassuring hand
on Camila’s shoulder. “Look at how far you’ve come since then.”
“I’m probably going to be held back at the end of the year.”
Camila stated simply. “You don’t know that.” Miss Lovato told her.
“It’ll be hard Camila. I’m not going to pretend it won’t but there
are systems in place here to help you. All your teachers have
spoken to Miss Spears the guidance counsellor. We’ve been given
strategies from your therapists to help you transition back into
high school again.” “I know,” Camila said. “What I need from
you,” Miss Lovato continued. “Is to know if you are having any
problems and what they are ok? It could be anything, big or small
but, I can’t help you if I don’t know what they are. So I guess what
I’m saying is that I am here to talk with if you need me, alright?
 My door is always open for you. Please, promise me that you’ll
use it from time to time, even if it’s just to check in.” “Ok,” Camila
said. “I promise I will.” “Alright,” Miss Lovato replied smiling and
making a move to stand from her chair. “Miss Lovato?” Camila
said staying her teacher by reaching for her hand. She sat back
down next to Camila and waited for her to continue. “Camila you
can talk to me,” Miss Lovato urged. “What did you want to say?”
“I’m sorry,” Camila responded and Miss Lovato furrowed her
brow in confusion. “What are you sorry for?” she asked baffled. “I
get…angry.” Camila said averting her gaze from her teachers.
“Frustrated.” “Ok,” Miss Lovato acknowledged still not fully
understanding Camila’s apology. “I…hit my sister once,” Camila
shared “and kicked a hole through my bedroom door.” Camila
looked at Miss Lovato searching for understanding and finding
none. “I don’t want you to hate me.” She clarified. “If, I….you
know…do something. I’m different….since the accident…I can’t
control myself…” Camila swallowed hard, her mouth dry. “I’m not
explaining myself very well.” She managed to get out, clearly
becoming more flustered. “Camila,” Miss Lovato started
understanding finally dawning on her. “We have the reports from
your therapist. All the teachers are aware of the behavioural
difficulties and personality changes since your head injury. We’ll
try to prevent any problems as much as possible but in the event
that something does happen it will be dealt with appropriately.
We know that the intent isn’t there, disinhibition and emotional
instability are common after what you’ve been through.” “What if
I hurt someone?” Camila asked. “Then we’ll deal with it together,”
Miss Lovato answered honestly. “That’s all I can promise for now.
Is that ok?” “Ok,” Camila agreed nodding her head affirmatively.
“You’re with me next period aren’t you?” Miss Lovato asked as
she stood from her chair and glanced at the clock. Camila flicked
open her notebook to find her timetable and stared at the clock
on the wall. “Yeah,” Camila informed her. “Alright then,” Miss
Lovato smiled reassuringly. “Stay put ok?” “Ok,” Camila agreed,
leaning back in her chair and watching as Miss Lovato made her
way to the front of the class. Camila noticed Dinah and Lauren
stop their conversation to glance in her direction as Miss Lovato
passed them. Dinah raised her eyebrow questioningly, gesturing
to silently ask Camila if everything was alright. Camila made the
conscious effort to put a smile on her face despite her insecurities
and formed an ‘ok’ sign with her hand to illustrate that everything
was fine. Dinah stuck her left thumb up in response. Camila pulled
out her notebook ready for the next class, observing her scrawled
and unintelligible handwriting for a brief moment before
slamming it closed again on the table, wondering why she
bothered to even take notes if she couldn’t refer back to them
later on. Remaining in her seat, Camila leant her head back and
closed her eyes, folding her arms across her chest in front of her.
She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, counting to ten in her
head just as the therapist had instructed her to. Practically Camila
 knew the reason why she was supposed to take notes. It wasn’t
for reference. All her teachers were going to provide her with
everything she’d need in order to study the material at home, or
so the note her mom had written in her notebook read. The
reason she was meant to do it was because she needed all the
handwriting practice she could get at the moment. Even her sister
had more legible script then she did and Sofia was only six. She
heard the bell signalling the end of homeroom, but stayed as she
was, briefly noting Miss Lovato’s goodbye to the departing
students and the ruckus as chairs were scraped back against the
tiled floor beneath them. Camila felt someone’s presence above
her and lifted her head up, opening her eyes as she did so to look
at them. “This seat taken,” Lauren asked gesturing to the desk
beside Camila. Camila sat up in her chair slightly and glanced at
the desk which Miss Lovato had occupied earlier. “No,” she
replied. “Do you mind if I sit here?” Lauren questioned. “No,”
Camila answered and Lauren lowered herself into the seat just as
Dinah finished speaking with Miss Lovato and approached from
the front of the classroom. “Mila, I’ve got Chem lab now so I’ll
come and find you afterwards alright?” Dinah asked. “I can walk
Camila to her next class if you want.” Lauren offered. “Really?”
Dinah asked. “I can walk myself.” Camila stated. “I didn’t go…to
rehab for…nothing…you know.” Camila cursed inwardly at the
lack of fluidity to her speech. “I know,” Dinah said apologetically.
“I’m sorry, it’s just….I’m worried alright. Your mom asked me to
 make sure you’re alright…it’s us…not you.” Camila sighed. “I
know. I’m sorry.” “So you’ll go with Lauren to your next class?”
Dinah asked. “Sure.” Camila agreed. “Lunch?” she asked. “You
bet,” Dinah replied happily as she gave the pair of them a small
wave and hurried off to her next class. “You pissed at her?”
Lauren asked Camila once they were alone and awaiting the rest
of their English class to arrive. “No,” Camila answered honestly.
“You pissed at yourself?” Lauren probed intuitively. Camila didn’t
answer the question which Lauren felt spoke volumes. Instead she
asked Lauren a question of her own. “You learn a lot?” Camila
said. “About Dinah?” Lauren asked laughing slightly. “Ithink she
learnt more about me than I did about her.” Camila smiled at the
thought of Dinah interrogating Lauren. “I did however; learn that
she has an unhealthy obsession with Beyoncé.” Lauren continued
trying to maintain a conversation with the other girl as new
students started to arrive and take their seats. “She does.” Camila
replied. “It’s….that’s….ugh, crap…” Camila lifted a hand to her
head and rubbed her temple with her fingers firmly. “Are you
ok?” Lauren asked concerned etched on her face. “Should I do
something?” “No,” Camila responded trying to smile reassuringly.
“It’s…my…..spe…ech.” She managed to get out. “Comes….and….”
“Goes?” Lauren offered. Camila stuck her thumb up and nodded.
“Fu….” Camila tried before groaning. “Fuck indeed.” Lauren
finished for her chuckling. Camila managed a laugh at her
response and Lauren felt her stomach rise in what was becoming
 a very familiar way. “Fu…” Camila tried again. “Here let me,”
Lauren began, cracking her knuckles dramatically in front of her.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” “Lauren,” Miss Lovato scolded as
she made a move to close the door to the girl’s right. “Yes Miss,”
Lauren answered embarrassed, realising that all eyes in the
classroom were now turned on her. “Is there a problem?” Miss
Lovato asked eyeing Camila out of the corner of her eye with
concern as she noticed her head bowed in her head and her
fingers rubbing frantically at the side of her temple. “Well, you
see miss,” Lauren opened but was soon cut short the sounds of
Camila’s stifled laughs. “It’s well…umm….” She tried to find a valid
reply which would excuse her behaviour but was unable to
concentrate with the sweet sound of Camila’s giggles beside her.
“Camila?” Miss Lovato asked. “Anything you wish to add to
Lauren’s eloquent response?” Camila lifted her head up and her
laughing finally died down. She could see the slight hint of
amusement in her teacher’s eyes but knew she was trying to
make a point in front of the class. Unable to speak a response,
Camila shook her head. “I’ll speak to the pair of you after class,”
Miss Lovato said turning and making her way back down towards
the front of the classroom. She stopped at her desk and started
rummaging through some papers before introducing them to the
syllabus for this semester. “Thanks for that,” Lauren whispered,
leaning closer to Camila who was listening to Miss Lovato. “Jesus,
Ithought she was going to give me detention.” Camila tore her
 gaze away from the front of the classroom to meet Lauren’s.
“Sorry.” She apologised in hushed tones having found her voice
again. “I didn’t realise… she was right…there.” “Well shit,” Lauren
said slightly stunned. “You can speak again.” “Just about.” Camila
confirmed. “That must be so annoying.” Lauren noted, glancing up
at the front of the classroom to make sure they weren’t at risk of
being caught chatting. Miss Lovato had her back turned to the
room and was writing something on the whiteboard so Lauren
continued. “Will it ever come back completely?” Camila shrugged.
“Pass.” “You fed up of talking to me already?” Lauren asked
jokingly trying to make Camila laugh. She would swear, hearing
that soft throaty chuckle would probably put a smile on her face
even when she was in the worst mood. “Maybe.” Camila
answered a sly smile on her lips. “Maybe?” Lauren said in mock
astonishment, her voice rising slightly so that she had to check
that Miss Lovato had not heard. Luckily, she was still writing
something on the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59336122497/trialsand-
tribulationschapter2 8/10 board and hadn’t noted their covert
conversation. “After I almost took a bullet for you a moment
ago?” “You cursed.” Camila stated matter of factly. “Not me.”
“Only because you couldn’t!” Lauren replied feigning disbelief. “I
was going to say fun,’ Camila informed Lauren a wide grin
spreading across her face. “You were not!” Lauren protested.
“Ye….” Camila started, rolling her eyes and sighing heavily when
 the rest of her sentence wouldn’t come. “Yeti?” Lauren offered,
raising her eyebrow playfully. “Yyyyeeeeeesss.” Camila managed
to pronounce slowly. “Yes a yeti.” Lauren repeated nodding her
head. “Interesting turn in conversation we’re having here.” Camila
turned back to face the front of the class as Miss Lovato made her
way along the row of desks handing out their text books and
reading material for the semester. Once she had returned to the
front of the room, she turned her attention back to Lauren.
“Thanks,” Camila said to her sincerely. “What for?” Lauren asked.
“Not treating me differently.” Camila managed to say quietly.
Lauren felt her insides lurch at Camila’s words and her heart
flutter at the sight of the small smile which was on the other girls
face as she watched Miss Lovato who stood explaining something
at the front of the class. She bowed her head slightly, turning it to
look at Lauren once again. “It’s nice to feel a little bit ordinary for
a change.” She whispered. Lauren leant back in her chair as
Camila returned her attention to the front of the class. You’ll
never be ordinary. Lauren thought to herself, watching Camila
intently from her vantage point. “Ithink you’re extraordinary,”
Lauren whispered out loud unintentionally. “What?” Camila asked
turning her attention back to Lauren, having not heard her
properly. “You’re welcome,” Lauren covered and Camila smiled at
her, those soft chocolate eyes lingering on her own a beat too
long. “Ok,” Miss Lovato said, causing Camila to glance back at
their teacher who was walking along the row. “Everyone open
your copy of ‘Frankenstein.’ She paused beside Camila’s desk and
looked at Lauren who was in the process of leaning forward.
“Lauren would you care to start reading.” Miss Lovato instructed
rather than asked. “Sure,” Lauren said picking up the book and
opening it up. She cleared her throat, noting that Camila’s book
remained where it was on the top of her desk but she started to
read regardless. “You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has
accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you
have regarded with such evil forebodings…..”
Chapter 3
The rest of English passed by with relative ease, each student
taking it in turns to read excerpts from Mary Shelley’s famous
literary work out loud to the rest of the assembled class. Miss
Lovato would select students at random, allowing them to read a
few paragraphs before choosing someone else to take over in
their stead. Lauren could sense Camila’s growing unease as each
of their classmates was selected but, to Miss Lovato’s credit, she
did not call upon the other girl to participate understanding the
difficulties that she may have. Throughout the rest of the period,
Camila didn’t pick up her copy of ‘Frankenstein’ once, instead
focusing her attention astutely on each of the assorted narrators
as they spoke, her head resting securely in her right hand, her
elbow planted solidly on her desk. Finally, the bell rang and
students began vacating the room en masse, leaving Camila and
Lauren to speak to Miss Lovato regarding the excessive use of
 profanities at the beginning of class. “Lauren,” Miss Lovato
started, perching herself on a desk facing the pair of them. “I
won’t tolerate language like that in my class from anyone,
especially you. Do I make myself clear?” “Yes Miss,” Lauren
replied sheepishly. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” “I’m
surprised it happened at all.” Miss Lovato noted. “I’ve never heard
you curse in class before Lauren. I don’t mind how you behave
outside of my classroom but….” “Miss Lovato,” Camila spoke up,
interrupting the teacher. “It was my fault.” “Camila…” Miss Lovato
started. “No really,” Camila cut her off. “Lauren…she was just
trying to…..help…me.” Miss Lovato raised her eyebrow
questioningly and Camila turned to Lauren for help with her
explanation. “Don’t listen to her,” Lauren said dismissing Camila’s
words indifferently not wanting her to get in trouble. “We both
know it was me and I accept responsibility. From now on I’ll be on
my best behaviour.” “Lauren,” Camila protested. “Miss….I
star…star….ugh!” Camila slammed her hand against the desk in
frustration and gave Lauren a pleading look. “Ok,” Miss Lovato
said taking Camila’s hand in her own to stop her from repeating
the action. “Take a breath a moment.” Camila did as she was
instructed, not once removing her eyes from Lauren. Lauren
shifted uncomfortably in her seat, Camila’s eyes boring into her so
much that she had to avert her gaze. Camila shook her head
annoyed, not wanting Lauren to take the blame for something
that only happened because of her. Lauren didn’t owe her
 anything, she shouldn’t be thought badly of by Miss Lovato
because she was trying to make her smile.
“I….curs…ed….f…f…fir…” Camila groaned. “First.” She managed to
force out, turning her attention back to Miss Lovato who was
watching her closely. “Me.” Camila looked back at Lauren.
“Please,” she almost begged. “T..te…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 2/10 Miss Lovato turned to Lauren sensing
Camila’s distress at not being able to express herself. “Ok fine,”
Lauren relented, her stomach churning at the sight of Camila so
desperate to get her point across. “Camila technically started it
but, I chose to continue and I shouldn’t have.” Camila ran a hand
through her hair in relief, flashing both Lauren and Miss Lovato a
glimpse of the scar on the left side of her head before a few long
dark locks obscured it once more. She rubbed at her left eye
before rubbing her temple gently and giving Lauren a grateful
look. “She couldn’t speak,” Lauren went on as Miss Lovato eyed
Camila worriedly. “She was frustrated and trying to curse but
couldn’t so….I cursed for her.” “The report from your speech
therapist says that your speech is worse when you’re tired,” Miss
Lovato noted. “Principal Michaels has agreed for you to have a
phased return to school. If you need to go home Camila then we
can arrange that.” Camila shook her head. “No,” she said
stubbornly. “Camila, you don’t need to be a martyr. It’s the first
day back. Nothing much is going to be happening.” Miss Lovato
 informed her. “It’s better to take it slowly this week and build up
to a full day properly. Don’t try and rush back to everything all at
once.” “Please,” Camila pleaded her eyes wide. “I’m ok.” Miss
Lovato smiled sadly. “Who are you trying to convince?” Miss
Lovato asked with understanding. “I don’t…want to go…home.”
Camila said miserably. “I’m so….sick….of being….stuck…
there…please?” Lauren looked to Miss Lovato for a response but
none came. Instead the teacher continued to watch Camila
keenly, her mind debating what decision to make for the best.
Lauren looked at Camila and felt her herself struggle to hold back
the sudden wave of sadness which came over her. Her chest
ached, not in the way it had this morning during biology when all
her thoughts were consumed with Camila, a mix of excitement
and anxiousness, but, miserably. Everything in her body was
telling her to shuffle closer to the other girl, to wrap her arms
around her and pull her into her side, her body providing comfort
when it felt like no words could. Miss Lovato sighed in defeat, her
mind obviously made up. “I want you to come and see me after
lunch ok?” She compromised. “If you’re still struggling then I’m
going to have to send you home.” Camila let out a breath that
Lauren hadn’t noticed she’d been holding and nodded happily,
giving Miss Lovato an ‘ok’ sign with her hand. “No more
swearing,” Miss Lovato scolded the girls playfully pointing her
finger at them. “Either of you, ok?” They both nodded their heads
in assent. “Th…thank you.” Camila almost sang. “Also,” Miss
 Lovato said goodhumouredly as she turned to Camila, “don’t
encourage it. I saw you giggling and that is just in bad taste.
Especially if your friend is getting in trouble because of something
you started.” Lauren couldn’t help but smile at the way Miss
Lovato had referred to her as Camila’s friend and she felt the ache
in her chest from moments ago dissipate almost immediately to
be replaced with the familiar flutter from before. Lauren liked the
idea of her being Camila’s friend. “Ok,” Camila replied. “Ok,” Miss
Lovato repeated. “Now, get going the pair of you otherwise you’ll
be late to your next class.” Miss Lovato handed them each a note
to give to their next teacher just in case and the two of them
stood, collected their things and disappeared into the hallway
quickly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 3/10 Camila had US history with Mr Lopez
next so Lauren escorted her to the allocated classroom quickly,
neither one speaking. Every few minutes Lauren would look at
Camila out of the corner of her eye, desperately wanting to break
the silence which had fallen between them but fearful that she’d
somehow hurt her by trying to dismiss her part in the whole
cursing debacle. Her stomach churned uncomfortably, like the
waves of a sea during a violent storm. Lauren hated the thought
that she may have offended the other girl, especially because it
had all stemmed from an inexplicable desire to protect her. They
paused briefly outside Camila’s next classroom and Lauren
 waited, too anxious to say anything. Camila may be the one with
speech difficulties but right now, Lauren felt unable to
communicate even a single word, her mouth as dry as the Sahara.
She was paralysed, completely fearful of further upsetting the
other girl and causing an even bigger rift to form between them.
Finally, Camila looked up to meet Lauren’s gaze, opening her
mouth as though to say something and then rolling her eyes once
again in frustration. Unable to speak again, Camila stepped
forward and wrapped her arms around Lauren, squeezing her
body for a mere instant in gratitude. It was so unexpected that
Lauren almost choked on the air in her own lungs, something that
was only further compounded by the appreciative smile that
appeared on Camila’s face as she turned and disappeared into her
next class, the door closing swiftly behind her. Lauren stood alone
in stunned silence for a moment, her mind taking a moment to
register what had just happened, to appreciate the warmth which
had encompassed her whole body at the touch of Camila’s limbs
wrapped around her, a heat which had no doubt made her face
bright. She smiled to herself as she finally commanded her body
to move and made her way hastily to her next class, chemistry.
She was already ten minutes late when she stepped into the class
but was pleased to find that Mr Stone was receptive to the note
which Miss Lovato had provided her. He instructed her to take a
seat, and as her eyes scanned the lab for a vacant one she saw an
enthusiastic Normani beckoning her to a vacant place at her
 station. Lauren’s grin grew wide as she made her way over to her
friend and she swiftly sat down beside her, flinging her bag under
the table once she’d collected her notebook and a pen from it.
“You’re late,” Normani observed. “I was starting to think you
weren’t in this class after all.” “How did you know I was?” Lauren
asked. “I managed to catch a glimpse of Mr Stone’s attendance
list,” Normani informed her. “Sneaky.” Lauren replied approvingly.
“Ilike it.” “I’ve been saving this seat ever since,” Normani told her
proudly. “Some guy off the basketball team tried to take it….as if.”
“You don’t like basketball players?” Lauren teased raising her
eyebrow. “More than you do,” Normani joked back. “Well, I’m
flattered that you’d give up sitting beside potential eye candy to
put up with me,” Lauren jested. “I guess that means you like me,
huh?” “Not as much as you like yourself clearly.” Normani said as
Mr Stone passed by and dropped two chemistry books on the
bench in front of them. She paused to study the book in front of
her for a moment before asking, “Why were you so late anyway?”
“I had to stay back in English for cursing.” Lauren admitted. “Miss
Lovato wanted to speak to me.” “Well, well, well,” Normani
started in disbelief, looking at her friend. “Lauren Jauregui having
to stay behind in class….when was the last time that happened? I
thought you were a regular teacher’s pet. I can’t even remember
the last time you had a detention.” “That’s because I haven’t had
one,” Lauren told her. “Is this the start of your teenage
rebellion?” Normani asked playfully. “Are you going to start
smoking and hanging out under the bleachers?” “Shut up,” Lauren
said hitting her playfully. “It’s not that big a deal.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 4/10 “I beg to differ,” Normani said laughing.
“What happened?” “I….” Lauren started but was cut off by Mr
Stone talking at the front of the class. She lowered her voice and
continued in a whisper. “I was swearing because of Camila.”
“Oooh,” Normani whispered back. “You have English with your
new crush?” “Yes,” Lauren replied quietly. “Was she touching you
in inappropriate places under the desk?” Normani asked making
Lauren choke on the breath she’d been trying to inhale and
causing her to burst out in a coughing fit. “Everything alright Miss
Jauregui?” Mr Stone asked on noting the youngster’s distress.
Lauren raised her hand in response and Mr Stone continued with
what he’d been saying. Once her coughing had finally settled
down, Lauren turned to look at Normani who was watching her
with an amused expression on her face, which if Lauren was
honest, she’d kind of like to wipe off it with her fist. “Oh my god,”
Lauren muttered under her breath. “No Normani. That is not what
happened. Geez….” Normani chuckled at Lauren’s discomfort.
“You’re loving this aren’t you?” Lauren asked her after a moment
when Normani’s laughter didn’t die down. “I’m sorry,” Normani
apologised leaning closer to Lauren and lowering her voice. “It’s
just you gave me so much crap when I started crushing on Arin
that it’s only fair that now I get to pay you back for it.” “Ahh,”
 Lauren said, tilting her head slightly as she recollected the
innocuous teasing she’d given Normani last year before her and
Arin started officially dating. “Fair enough then.” “So,” Normani
began her tone more serious. “What really happened?” “Long
story short?” Lauren asked. “Always,” Normani stated. “She
couldn’t speak, got pissed, tried to curse and couldn’t.” Lauren
said. “So I cursed instead.” “That is probably the weirdest mating
ritual I’ve ever heard of,” Normani told her casting an eye at the
front of the classroom where Mr Stone had turned on a video for
the class to watch, something about lab safety if the last two
years were anything to go by. “Shut up,” Lauren said
reproachfully. “It wasn’t like that alright. Ifeel really bad for her. I
was just trying to make her laugh.” “Is her speech really that
bad?” Normani asked. “Not all the time,” Lauren said, “sometimes
it’s’ fine.” “What about other times?” Normani asked interestedly.
“Other times she can’t speak at all.” Lauren informed her. “That
sucks,” Normani stated simply. “Yep,” Lauren agreed. “When I
walked her to her history class she couldn’t even say
anything….just hugged me instead.” “You walked her to her
history class?” Normani asked a grin spreading across her features
again. “Wow, you’re already whipped and it’s only been a few
hours.” “Itold Dinah I would,” Lauren reprimanded. “Of course
you did,” Normani responded chuckling softly, “because Dinah
asked you to right?” “Well, no.” Lauren replied. “I offered.”
Normani raised her eyebrow in response to Lauren’s words.
 “You’re so chivalrous Lauren.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 5/10 “Dinah had to rush off to her next
class,” Lauren tried to justify. “Hey,” Normani said, putting her
hands up in front of her airily. “I think it’s really sweet.” Lauren
rolled her eyes at her friend. “No seriously though Lo,” Normani
said, “you’re kind of adorable when you’re crushing on someone.
Being in love is definitely a good look for you.” “Woah,” Lauren
protested. “Wait a minute….I don’t love her.” Normani gave
Lauren a meaningful look. “I don’t,” Lauren repeated. “Iliterally
just met the girl today.” “By the way, I’d ship it,” Normani stated
simply ignoring Lauren’s protest. “Just so you’re aware.”
“Normani!” Lauren groaned in exasperation. “What?” Normani
questioned. “I think you’d look good together and if she can make
you this happy and this…” she paused to wave her hand in front of
Lauren’s body, “glowy in less than a day I’m all for it.” “Glowy?”
Lauren asked. “You know, bouncy and bright.” Normani clarified.
“You and happiness are my OTP. If Camila makes you feel all
jittery and nervous, you know, in the goodway then I’ll gladly
captain your ship.” “You spend too much time on tumblr.” Lauren
noted. “Remind me to have words with your mom about that.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Normani responded with certainty and
Lauren knew she was right. Mr Stone stood from where he’d been
sat at the front of the class and both Normani and Lauren turned
to watch him for a moment as he started to address the
assembled students again. “Having heard about your summer love
everyday” Normani went on in hushed tones. “Clare wasn’t it? I
can honestly say that I already like Camila better.” “You never
even met Clare,” Lauren objected. “Exactly,” Normani said. “Strike
one for her.” “You’re an idiot.” Lauren laughed. “Maybe,”
Normani acquiesced, “but, I’d bet you my Beyoncé concert tickets
that you haven’t thought about Clare once since you spoke to
Camila this morning.” Lauren pouted and crossed her arms over
her chest causing Normani to chuckle. “Ithought as much.” She
replied. “I hate you,” Lauren said turning to face Mr Stone. “No
you don’t,” Normani replied simply laughing and following suit.
After they’d ‘watched’ the lab safety video and Mr Stone had
discussed the semester’s syllabus with them, the rest of the class
was dedicated to conducting a few fun experiments until it ended
an hour later. Normani and Lauren grabbed their things and
headed out into the bustling corridor to merge with what felt like
the entire population of the school it was so packed. “Hey, isn’t
that your crush walking towards us with Ally?” Normani asked as
she spotted the two of them making their way down the corridor
together. “Ugh, yeah,” Lauren replied nervously. “What are they
doing together?” “They knew each other last year right?”
Normani asked. “Didn’t Ally say they took AP math together?
Perhaps they’ve just had it.” “No, Ally had AP math first period.”
Lauren informed her. “Camila wasn’t there.” Normani gave Lauren
a questioning look. “Me and Ally have homeroom together,” she
 told her simply. “It may have come up.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 6/10 Normani shook her head in amusement
as Ally and Camila reached them. “Hey,” Ally greeted the two of
them. “You guys on lunch now?” “Yeah,” Normani replied. “Want
to go and find somewhere to sit?” “Sure,” Ally said. “You want to
join us Camila?” Ally asked her kindly. “Thanks but I said I’d meet
Dinah.” Camila replied. “She’ll find you,” Normani said seriously.
“You should come and hang out with us.” Lauren gave Normani a
‘what the fuck’ look which luckily Camila missed as she quickly did
another sweep of the hallway with her eyes. “Ok,” she said,
making eye contact with Normani again, “as long as you don’t’
mind?” “Not at all,” Normani replied and Lauren punched her in
the leg lightly sensing the mischief in her tone. “I’m Normani,” she
said introducing herself and offering a small wave. “You go to
dance with Dinah right?” Camila asked. “Right.” Normani
confirmed smiling. “Cool,” was all Camila said as the four of them
turned and began to make their way towards the quad. They
found an empty table under the shade of a tree and sat
themselves down, Camila beside Ally, Normani and Lauren
opposite. “So…” Lauren said trying to broach the subject tactfully.
“How did you two talking?” She gestured between Camila and Ally
as she spoke. “Camila is in my US history class,” Ally answered
smirking slightly. “Small world huh?” “Tiny,” Lauren agreed
worriedly. “We had to get into pairs for an activity so I asked
Camila,” Ally continued throwing Lauren a look. “We used to have
AP math together last year,” Camila informed them, unaware that
Normani and Lauren were already aware of that fact. “Not this
year though?” Normani asked, even though she already knew the
answer. She cast a sideways glance at Lauren, enjoying her
discomfort. “No,” Camila admitted. “I had to drop all my AP
classes.” “Oh,” Normani said. “Why?” “Normani,” Lauren
protested. “No that’s alright,” Camila said turning to look at
Normani. “I don’t think I’d be able to keep up this year….what
with…you know.” “Sorry,” Normani apologised sincerely. “Yeah
well,” Camila replied and Lauren kicked Normani under the table.
Normani managed to stifle her cry of pain and waved to someone
behind Ally and Camila who was approaching. “Hi Dinah,” she
greeted, kicking Lauren back sneakily as Ally and Camila turned to
face their new arrival. Lauren glared at Normani for a moment as
Dinah took a seat beside Camila. “Hey Normani,” Dinah returned
before turning to Lauren, “Lauren,” she continued. She glanced at
Ally for a moment awkwardly. “Hey,” Ally greeted with a small
wave. “I’m Ally.” “Hi Ally,” Dinah returned warmly. “What I don’t
get a hello?” Camila asked playfully and Lauren couldn’t help but
smile. It made Lauren happy to see this lighter side of Camila. It
was a much nicer than the crestfallen Camila that she’d witnessed
with Miss Lovato earlier today and for that she was glad.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 7/10 “I see you all the time,” Dinah jested. “I
ain’t got time to say hello to you at every opportunity.” “Why am I
even friends with you?” Camila asked laughing, Lauren’s heart
skipping a beat reflexively at the sound. “Uh, because I’m
hilarious,” Dinah replied. “That’s why.” “You are pretty funny,”
Camila admitted turning back to face the others and shaking her
head contractively and the other girls laughed. Dinah hit Camila
playfully on the arm causing her to wince slightly. “Crap, I’m
sorry,” Dinah apologised quickly. “S’Ok,” Camila said through
gritted teeth, rubbing her arm with her right hand. “I’m such an
idiot.” Dinah went on. “I keep forgetting…” “Dinah its fine,”
Camila cut her off reaching for the other girls hand and squeezing
it reassuringly. “I’ve been through worse.” No one said anything
and Camila glanced around at each of their faces before saying,
“Wow….tough crowd.” The rest of the girls smiled at her as she
said, “I guess the accident didn’t make me any funnier.” “The
good news is it didn’t make your jokes any worse,” Dinah replied
laughing. “Ok hit me,” Camila said throwing her hand on the table.
“What?” Normani asked confused. “You want me to hit you?”
“No,” Camila clarified. “Ask me about it. I know you want to.”
Normani glanced between Lauren and Ally. “It’s like the elephant
or whatever.” Camila tried to explain. “Let’s get it out the way.”
“Camila,” Dinah began to protest but Normani answered, “Alright
then.” “Great.” Camila responded, her body relaxing slightly.
“Was it true that you were in a coma for three weeks?” Normani
asked. “Yes,” Camila answered. “Do you remember it?” Ally
questioned. “No,” Camila said frowning. “It was like being asleep.”
She paused for a moment, “but without dreams.” She added. “Did
they catch the driver?” Lauren asked leaning forward slightly, an
unexpected anger taking over her at the thought that someone
had driven off and left Camila to die. “No,” Camila replied. “I don’t
think so. Not yet.” “Do you miss your life before?” Dinah asked,
her gaze dropped to the floor. Camila looked at her friend a sad
expression on her face. “Do you?” Camila asked her. Dinah lifted
her gaze. “Sometimes.” Dinah admitted. Camila sighed. “All the
time,” she answered. “What do you miss about it?” Lauren asked
with interest. “Yeah I mean, you look like you’re doing pretty
well.” Normani praised. “Little things really.” Camila answered.
“Playing the guitar” Dinah stated knowingly and Camila nodded
her head. “You were really good at that Mila.” Camila smiled at
Dinah’s kind words. “Writing,” Camila admitted.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 8/10 “Stories?” Ally asked. “Songs,” Camila
clarified. “Singing?” Dinah asked. “Singing,” Camila agreed. “In
fact, speaking properly in general.” “You’re speech is good
though.” Normani noted. “At the moment,” Camila replied
nodding her head and sharing a look with Lauren. “Not so much
earlier today right Lauren?” “Yeah but I have that effect on a lot of
girls,” Lauren flirted without realisation. As soon as she realised
what she’d said her cheeks flushed a bright red and proceeded to
get even hotter as she met Normani’s disbelieving look. Camila
 laughed along with Dinah and the other girls followed suit. God
I’m such an idiot. Lauren thought. “I miss being able to read more
than two lines of text without getting distracted.” Camila went on,
taking the attention back off Lauren’s words. “You can’t read?”
Ally asked. “I can, sort of” Camila said, “but I have the attention
span of a fish now. I get distracted.” “You always had the
attention span of a fish Mila,” Dinah chimed in smiling. “True.”
Camila granted. “It’s worse now though.” Camila thought for a
moment, a comfortable silence falling over the group. “I miss
me,” Camila finally admitted, “the old me.” She glanced at Dinah.
“I know you do too.” “Camila,” Dinah said shaking her head
slightly. “No I know you do Dinah,” Camila said. “You feel like
you’re my babysitter now.” “That is not true,” Dinah protested
sternly before abruptly taking on a jovial tone. “I’ve always felt
like your babysitter.” Camila laughed as Dinah pulled her into a
hug. She kissed Camila on the top of the head gently. “I don’t
care,” Dinah continued, “As long as I’ve still got you around to
annoy me.” Camila pushed Dinah gently causing her to laugh
heartily and the other girls to follow suit. “Any other questions?”
Camila asked chuckling at Dinah. “I have one more.” Ally said.
“What are you two doing after school?” Lauren gave Ally a
startled looked. “Nothing,” Dinah replied. “Probably sleeping,”
Camila admitted honestly. “Well,” Ally went on, “I normally have
these two over for a BBQ at mine the first day back at school, you
know, to catch up properly after the summer….you’re more than
 welcome to come.” “What are you doing?” Lauren mouthed to
Ally as Dinah and Camila exchanged questioning looks. Ally
responded with a small smirk and couldn’t help but feel that she
was being completely set up. “Sounds great! I’m in,” Dinah
accepted thankfully. “Camila?” Ally asked. “What about you?” “I
don’t know.” Camila said uncertainly. “My mom…” “She’s in,”
Dinah interrupted. Camila looked at Dinah and shrugged.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59436067543/trialsand-
tribulationschapter3 9/10 “Ok, well I guess I’m in as well.” Camila
replied. “Thanks.” “Great!” Ally said happily, clapping her hands
together and turning to face Lauren and Normani. “That alright
with you girls?” she asked them. “Sounds good to me,” Normani
replied her eyes burning a hole in the side of Lauren’s head who
was making a concerted effort not to make eye contact with her.
“Lauren?” Ally asked with a meaningful tone to her voice. “Sounds
like fun,” she replied glaring at Ally in disbelief. “Perfect,” Ally
practically sang winking at Lauren. Lauren groaned internally at
her friends obvious meddling. Great, she thought.This is just what
I need.
Chapter 4
The girls spent the rest of their lunch break in easy conversation
and comfortable joviality, Normani and Ally furtively teasing
Lauren for her crush on Camila at every available opportunity that
presented itself. Much to Lauren’s relief, Camila either missed
their veiled mocking of her current infatuation or chose to ignore
 it. Sadly, the same could not be said for Dinah, who would
systematically look her way after every well concealed jibe, her
eyebrow slightly raised and a curious expression on her face. On
numerous occasions Dinah had caught Lauren, not so subtly, she
might add, staring at her best friend. Lauren felt her face
becoming progressively warmer every time she was caught out
and could only imagine the luminous shade of red that was
spreading across her features. For her part, she tried to conceal
the betraying crimson blush by resting her face in the palm of her
hands, her elbows propped up on the table in front of her. She
was almost positive that this attempt was nothing more than
futile, her obvious awkwardness evident to everyone seated
around her. Well, everyone, that is, except Camila. Lauren
couldn’t decide whether she should be thankful for Camila’s
obvious lack of perception or hurt, regardless, it was the only
thing which prevented her from wanting to curl up into a ball and
die of embarrassment right there and then. Lauren didn’t know
what it was about Camila that she found so appealing but she was
completely incapable of pulling her eyes away from the girl
whenever she was in the immediate vicinity. It’s almost as though
her eyes, which after finally having fallen upon the most
impeccable sight they’d ever seen would no longer tolerate
having to look at anything less beautiful. As soon as she tried to
track the conversation, which, was happily moving from one
participant to another, Lauren would find herself looking right
back at Camila, her brain trying to burn a permanent image of the
girl into her memory for eternal preservation. Despite the
energetic conversation bounding around her, Lauren’s mind was
totally preoccupied with thoughts of spending time with Camila at
Ally’s house this afternoon, her stomach fluttering nervously in
anticipation. As much as Lauren appreciated the opportunity to
spend more time getting to know the other girl she was reluctant
to have to do it in front of three witnesses who would, in all
probability see her making a complete idiot of herself and more
than likely assist her with it. Despite the initial fear that Lauren
felt at Ally inviting Camila to join them for lunch, she couldn’t help
but feel a small sense of gratitude towards her friend. Lauren
would never have found the courage to invite Camila to sit with
them on her own and being able to spend time with her was
definitely worth the ridicule she had to suffer. Lauren was even
pleased with Dinah’s addition to the group. Having spent time
getting to know the girl during homeroom this morning, Lauren
had grown to like her easy and relaxed manner. She hoped that as
the year progressed the pair of them would become good friends,
especially if, by some small miracle, she ended up dating Camila.
At the end of lunch, Ally provided Dinah, who was getting a lift
home with Camila after school, with her house number. She
informed her that she lived down the street from Camila and told
the pair of them to come around whenever they were ready.
Lauren felt despondent as they all dispersed to attend their next
 period, having compared schedules to find that none of them
shared any classes this afternoon. Not only did that mean that
Lauren would have to cease what was beginning to border on
obsessively watching Camila for the next few hours but she would
also have no one to distract her from what would likely be a very
slow afternoon.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter4 2/10 As promised Camila went back to check
in with Miss Lovato and it took everything within Lauren not to
accompany her, memories of the other girls miserable pleading
echoing in her mind. Granted Camila seemed to have more energy
since lunch and her speech had greatly improved since she’d left
her outside Mr Lopez’s history class, but Lauren had a very real
concern that Miss Lovato would insist on the other girl going
home. Lauren worried that if Camila did go home, it would
jeopardise her likelihood of coming to Ally’s later tonight and as a
result, Lauren’s opportunity to see her once again before
tomorrow. After what seemed like an eternity, the bell rang in
Lauren’s final class of the day, social studies and she practically
jumped out of her chair she was so eager to leave. She threw her
bag haphazardly over her shoulder, almost knocking out a
cheerleader who was standing up behind her and made a quick
exit out into the crowded hallway. She followed the tide of
students vacating the school premises and made her way over to
her car where she waited for the arrival of Ally and Normani, who
 turned up no more than five minutes later, smug expressions on
both of their faces at the sight of Lauren’s eagerness. “Just for the
record,” Lauren greeted them, unlocking her car doors with her
electronic key fob and leaning her arms on the roof to look over at
them. “I hate you both.” “No you don’t,” Normani dismissed
casually opening the passenger door and ducking into the empty
seat within. Lauren climbed into the driver’s seat beside her whilst
Ally disappeared into the back behind Normani. They buckled
their seatbelts securely as Lauren started up the engine. “Yes I
do,” Lauren said. “That was literally the most uncomfortable I’ve
ever felt during lunch…” “Really?” Ally asked surprised. “Even
including that time in elementary school when…” “Oh my god,”
Lauren groaned to stop Ally from saying it out loud. “I thought
we’d agreed never to speak of that ‘incident’ ever again?” Lauren
paused to glare at Ally in the back seat who was laughing
hysterically at the recollection before turning back to face the
front again. “Wait,” Normani said unable to recall the memory.
“What incident are we talking about?” “You know,” Ally managed
to say between her giggles, “that time that…” “Ally!” Lauren
warned. “Oh,” Normani responded finally remembering. “That
incident” She too burst out into a fit of laughter similar to Ally’s
and Lauren tried her best to ignore them as she made her way to
the exit and pulled onto the street outside the school. “You know,
Camila didn’t even notice your blatant staring,” Normani informed
Lauren as they made their way home, stopping frequently in the
 rush hour traffic. “She was completely oblivious.” “Thank God,”
Lauren noted. “I think I’d have died if she’d picked up on
thecopious amount of taunting that you gave me for me it.” “You
are literally the least subtle person in the world Lo,” Ally stated
from her position in the back seat. “Everyone that was in the quad
at lunch is probably aware of your crush on Camila except her.”
“Ithink even NASA picked it up on their satellite,” Normani
agreed. “You’ve got your work cut out there,” Ally said seriously.
“Hard to make a girl fall in love with you when she can’t even read
the most obvious signs.” “Would you guys drop it?” Lauren asked.
“I don’t even know that she’s gay and with my luck she probably
isn’t.” “She is” Normani replied confidently. “I can feel it.” “Yeah
because your gaydar is so infallible,” Lauren scoffed. “Hey, I called
Scott Davidson on the football team being gay. “ Normani
objected. “Ally tried to date him if you remember.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter4 3/10 “Oh yeah,” Ally said dreamily. “Scott
Davidson….such a waste.” “He is hot.” Normani agreed. “I don’t’
see it,” Lauren disagreed. “Um, you wouldn’t.” Normani laughed.
“Just because I’m into girls it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a
hot guy when I see one.” Lauren protested. “True,” Ally allowed,
“but, in all honesty you have the worst taste.” “Agreed,” Normani
supported. “What?” Lauren asked. “I do not.” “You yourself said
you dated the only closeted lesbian in the school,” Ally supplied.
“Then you hooked up with some random girl at softball camp who
you didn’t have to worry about ever seeing again,” Normani went
on. “I’m not even going to mention your illfated relationship with
Michael Dyers when you thought you might just be going through
a ‘phase’” Ally continued. “Everyone knew the only reason you
dated him was because of his hot older sister,” Normani confided.
“Kill me now,” Lauren said, slamming her head against the
steering wheel as they waited at a red light. “It’s not all bad,”
Normani tried to praise. “I mean you get major points for your
attraction to Camila…in fact if she was the first person you’d ever
chosen to date I’d say that you have impeccable taste.” “Thanks I
guess,” Lauren said lifting her head and moving the car on again
once the light had changed to green. “No seriously,” Normani told
her. “Camila’s really nice and there are not many people that can
look both adorable and hot with a four inch scar across their face
but somehow she manages to completely pull it off.” Normani
paused to laugh for a minute, “to be honest it’s kind of annoying
that she is still more attractive than me after everything she’s
been through.” “Oh shut up,” Lauren scolded. “You know you’re
stunning…I mean, let’s be real you’re not my type but….” Normani
pushed Lauren playfully on the arm making her laugh. “You wish I
was your type,” Normani told her. “You couldn’t handle me,”
Lauren teased. “She’s right Normani,” Ally chuckled. “She’d be an
incomprehensible mess whenever she’s within two foot of you.
You wouldn’t know what to do.” “I was doing fine with Camila
until you two decided to get involved.” Lauren returned. “Oh
 yeah,” Normani recalled, “your run in with Miss Lovato. You were
clearly doing awesome.” “At least I could talk to her then,” Lauren
said flatly. “You two completely knocked me off my game.”
Normani turned around to share a look with Ally and the pair of
them laughed. “Lauren,” Ally said in between sniggers. “You don’t
have any game.” “She’s right,” Normani agreed. “I hate to break it
to you Lolo.” Lauren groaned as she pulled the car to a stop
outside Ally’s house and the three of them got out. She locked the
car behind her as they made their way up Ally’s drive. “Have I told
you both that I hate you,” Lauren said as Ally opened the door to
here house and they all made their way in. “Daily,” Ally said
laughing. “Don’t worry though….” She went on winking in
Lauren’s direction. “I hate you too.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter4 4/10 Lauren rolled her eyes as they made
their way into the kitchen. The girls spent the next thirty minutes
preparing a salad and getting the meat ready to be placed on the
BBQ. It was an annual tradition for them to get together after the
first day of school after spending the summer apart, to catch up
on what they’d missed whilst they’d been separated, Lauren,
almost always having spent a couple of months away at camp.
Normally, Ally’s parents were around for the BBQ but this year
they were visiting friends, leaving the youngsters to themselves
which meant that they’d have more opportunity to discuss the
recent advances in Ally’s relationship with Troy. The three of them
 were sat in the garden, each enjoying a cold glass of ice tea and
hearing the particulars of Ally’s first time when the doorbell rang.
Lauren felt her heart lurch in her chest at the sound and tried to
keep the nerves off of her face, only to find she’d failed miserably
when she saw Normani smirking at her. Ally disappeared to greet
the visitors and appeared moments later with Dinah and Camila,
the previous bearing a bag full of treats for dessert. “Hi guys,”
Dinah greeted, waving enthusiastically as she made her way over
to the picnic table where Normani and Lauren were sat. She
placed the bag on top of it and sat down beside Normani. “Sorry
we’re late,” she apologised as Camila took a seat next to Lauren
waving in greeting to them both. “You’re not late,” Ally said
reassuringly. “Ok good,” Dinah replied relaxing a little. “It felt like
we were stuck there for ages talking to Camila’s mom.” She
informed them. “Or was it just me that felt like that Mila?” She
asked. Camila shook her head as Ally poured them both a drink
from the jug on the table. “I mean, I can understand her being
concerned and overprotective but, geez,” Dinah exhaled. “I don’t
think I’ve ever heard anyone ask so many questions in the space
of ten minutes before.” Lauren watched Camila closely,
perceptive to the fact she wasn’t responding verbally. “You all
talked out now?” Lauren asked her. Camila lowered the class in
her hand which she’d been drinking from and nodded. “Yep,” she
said having swallowed the mouthful of drink. “I’m…exhausted.”
“Seriously though,” Dinah confided in them. “There’s nothing
 wrong with me and even I’m exhausted after that inquisition.”
“She’s probably just worried,” Ally offered. “You know, your first
day back at school after being so ill. It must have been hard on
her.” “I know,” Camila managed to express a smile on her lips.
“Camila loves her mom,” Dinah elaborated, “her whole family but,
I think I’d find it annoying too if my mine treated me like I was
literally made of glass every waking second. Your mom hovers,
have you noticed that Camila? She’s like, literally there every time
you turn around. She scared the crap out of me the other day
when I stayed over and went to go to the bathroom during the
night.” A curious expression formed on Camila’s face and Lauren
enjoyed how adorable she looked when she scrunched up her
nose. “I opened your bedroom door and came face to face with
your mom standing right on the other side.” Dinah answered
Camila’s silent question. “I swear I almost dropped dead of fright
then and there.” Camila frowned clearly not recollecting this
series of events. “You were literally comatose in a tangle of
pillows and bedding on the floor,” Dinah informed her.
“Remember? You thought it’d be a great idea to eat two family
sized bags of skittles and a whole bottle of cola….pretty much
crashed out then and there.” “Ahh,” Camila said finally
remembering. “Yes…..the skittles.” “Are you two always like this?”
Normani asked in amusement watching the interaction between
the two of them. “Like what?” Dinah asked. “You having to have a
conversation for the two of you,” Normani clarified for Dinah.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter4 5/10 Camila smiled and nodded. “She…has
to,” she noted. “Me and Mila have known each other since we
were born,” Dinah explained unoffended. “I know her inside out
and since the accident I’ve gotten pretty good at speaking on her
behalf.” Camila frowned slightly. “She’s always quick to correct
me if I say something she doesn’t agree with though.” Dinah went
on. “Don’t you get sick of listening to the sound of your own
voice?” Ally asked jestingly. Dinah laughed and Camila nodded her
head vigorously. “I don’t,” she admitted. “I could listen to myself
all day and never get annoyed. Mila gets sick of it though. It gives
her a headache.” “So….loud,” Camila says in a form of
explanation. “The nerve,” Dinah responds playfully. “Honestly
though, it’s not been too bad recently. Ithink last week were
almost back to having normal conversations weren’t we?” Camila
nodded in acquiescence. “So what happened?” Normani asked.
“Scchhooolll” Camila said slowly struggling to say the word out
loud. “Stupid school,” Lauren responded and she cringed inwardly
at how lame the words sounded as they escaped from her lips.
“Well,” Ally offered meeting Lauren’s gaze and grinning at her
embarrassment. “Now is time to recuperate and eat.” She said
standing and heading over to the BBQ to start cooking the meat
ready for dinner. Dinah got up offering her help which Ally gladly
accepted whilst Normani, Lauren and Camila remained seated.
“So Camila,” Normani started getting the other girls attention,
 “seeing as you can’t talk quite as well this afternoon, let me tell
you a story about the time that Lauren peed herself in front of
everyone during elementary school.” Lauren, who was just about
to swallow her mouthful of drink almost choked on the liquid
instead, spluttering in disbelief and spitting it out to prevent
herself from inhaling it. Mental note. She thought. Kill Normani.
After they’d eaten, the girls had sat chatting and listening to
music, the light slowly diminishing as the evening grew later.
Camila, her body aching slightly from the increased amount of
activity she’d done today in comparison to the last few months
had shifted position to lay on a nearby sun lounger, listening
whilst the rest of the girls talked, nodding and shaking her head
appropriately with the conversation and offering a few words
here and there as able. At some point she had fallen asleep and
the girls, unwilling to disturb her had moved further away from
her to laze on a blanket on Ally’s lawn. “Should we wake her up
and take her home?” Lauren asked after half an hour had passed
and Camila remained deep in sleep. “No, not yet,” Dinah replied.
“She hasn’t slept through a whole night since the accident.” She
informed them. “Any undisturbed down time she gets is a
blessing.” “Nightmares?” Ally asks. “For the most part.” Dinah
confirms. “I can’t remember the last time I didn’t wake up to find
a text message that she’d sent to me at 3 o’clock in the morning.”
Lauren glanced towards Camila on the sun lounger, her relaxed
features and steady breathing suggesting nothing but a peaceful
slumber. She sat watching for a moment, noting how the girls left
arm fell across her abdomen, here right hanging limply over the
side of the bed. Her hair had fallen across her face slightly,
obstructing her face from Lauren’s view but she could make out
her soft lips, slightly purse together as she exhaled. Another
twenty minutes passed with comfortable conversation and an
impromptu game of ‘Would you rather’ when Lauren went to
pour herself another drink only to find the jug of ice tea was
empty. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trials-
andtribulationschapter4 6/10 “I’m going to get another drink,”
she said, picking up the jug and standing up. “Does anyone need
anything else from the kitchen?” “No thanks,” they all replied.
“Ooh,” Dinah asked as Lauren made a move towards the house.
“Can you just check on Camila as you come back? You know, make
sure she’s still breathing?” “Why is that a problem?” Lauren asked
worriedly casting an eye at the sleeping girl. “No, I mean
figuratively speaking,” Dinah answered apologetically. “Oh,”
Lauren said relieved, “yeah no problem.” Lauren left Normani, Ally
and Dinah, disappearing inside the house to get herself another
drink. “Ok,” Normani said hurriedly. “What’s the deal with
Camila? Is she gay, straight, bi or undecided?” “Why?” Dinah
asked looking between Ally and Normani who were waiting
eagerly for a response. “Lauren likes her,” Ally informed Dinah.
“She really likes her.” “Girls got it bad,” Normani confirmed. “I
knew it!” Dinah said keeping her voice low. “She spent all lunch
 staring at her.” “So…?” Normani prompted when Dinah didn’t
answer. “What’s the deal?” “Honestly,” Dinah started. “I have no
idea.” “How can you have no idea?” Ally asked bewildered. “I
knew Lauren was a lesbian before she even did it was so obvious.”
“I don’t know,” Dinah admitted. “It’s just never come up before.
Camila was so bad at flirting before the accident that she never
even tried. She’s never had a boyfriend….or a girlfriend. She’s
never even kissed anyone.” Dinah paused for a moment casting a
look in her friends’ direction. “Since the accident she’s not very
good at reading body language or emotional cues so I couldn’t
even tell what she thinks in regards to Lauren,” Dinah continued.
“I don’t think she’s even realised.” Dinah contemplated the idea
of Lauren and Camila together for a moment. “Oh,” she said. “You
know, Ithink I’d actually ship it.” “Yes,” Normani said. “Thank you.
It’d be cute right?” Dinah looked back at Camila and saw Lauren
approaching from the kitchen and heading back towards them.
“Crap,” she said watching as Lauren crouched next to Camila for a
moment to check on her then made her way back towards them.
“We’ll continue this later. Text me.” Normani nodded her assent
as Lauren sat down beside them. “She’s out for the count,” Lauren
said taking a sip of her drink. “Kind of makes me not want to wake
her,” Dinah responded. “You’re going?” Lauren asked placing her
glass beside her on the floor. “Yeah, it’s getting late,” Dinah said
feigning looking at her watch. “If I don’t take her now, she end up
crashing here.” “I’ll wake her if you want?” Lauren offered. Dinah
 shared a meaningful look with Ally and Normani. “Are you sure?”
Dinah asked her. “I warn you she’s a nightmare in the morning.”
“Yeah it’s fine,” Lauren says standing up. “Saves her being pissed
at you right?” Normani and Dinah share a significant smile.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter4 7/10 “Ok great,” Dinah replied. “I’ll help Ally
and Normani pack up the stuff and take it inside.” Dinah, Ally and
Normani picked up the blanket and assorted dishes from the floor
and walked up to the picnic table, clearing it between them
quickly as Lauren made her way over to Camila. “Oh yeah,” Dinah
whispered to Normani as they carried the dishes inside, casting an
eye over at Lauren who had stopped just before where Camila
was laying. “I think I’d definitely ship it.” They disappeared inside,
leaving Lauren and Camila alone outside. Lauren placed her glass
on the decking beside the sun lounger, crouching down beside it
and lifting Camila’s right hand up into her lap from where it’d
been hanging. She watched the girl for a moment, taking in every
curve of her face, every soft line and committing it to memory.
Slowly, she reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Camila’s ear
and out of her face, her breath catching in her lungs as she was
able to take in all of Camila’s beauty once again. From her current
position, Lauren was able to make out the thick scar which
covered Camila’s left eyebrow and extending to her forehead and
on glancing around the garden to realise that she was alone, could
not resist the urge to reach forward and trace it gently with the
 pad of here thumb. She did this for a few moments, stroke
Camila’s brow over the wound, examining the girls face intently
until she noticed that Camila’s eyes were open and watching her.
Camila reached up and gently took hold of Lauren’s wrist, holding
it still for a moment. “Hi,” Lauren said her face flushed. Camila
smiled at Lauren tiredly but doesn’t say anything prompting
Lauren to ask, “Cat got your tongue?” Still silence fell between
them and Lauren felt her face flush hotter, Camila’s eyes still
burning into her own. “Say something,” Lauren almost pleaded
feeling extremely exposed and insecure. Camila released Lauren’s
wrist and ran the now free appendage through her hair as the
silence lingers on. “Are you not speaking because you can’t or
because you don’t want to?” Lauren asked her. Camila’s grin
widened playfully, causing Lauren’s heart to race in her chest, the
sound almost deafening. “Fine,” Lauren said when Camila still
didn’t say anything, “you bought this on yourself.” Camila
frowned for a moment, confused until Lauren reaches forward
and starts tickling her relentlessly. Camila squirmed on top of the
sun lounger, twisting this way and that in an attempt to escape
the continued sensation. “SSs….” She tried to say, failing
miserably. “PP……LLau….” Lauren stops, smiling. “Ok so it’s
because you can’t,” she notes. Camila groaned loudly and Lauren
laughed as the other girl hits her arm playfully. “You’re
exhausted.” Lauren stated rather then asked. “You’ve had a tough
first day back huh?” Camila hated to admit it but she found
 herself nodding her head and stuck up her right thumb in
agreement. “Well, let’s get you home then,” Lauren said standing
up and offering Camila her hand. Camila took hold of it, allowing
Lauren to pull her up as Dinah reemerged from the house. “You
guys alright?” she asked, coming towards the two of them just as
Camila managed to get to her feet and almost fell straight back
over again. Dinah rushed forward to help steady her as Lauren
wrapped an arm protectively round her torso and pulled her close
into her side to help her keep her balance. “We should get you
home,” Dinah said standing on the other side of Camila and
copying Lauren as they started to walk towards the back of the
house. “I know you’re tired when your ability to walk turns to
crap.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59528252464/trials-
andtribulationschapter4 8/10 Camila nodded her head as they
made their way through the house towards the front door,
Normani and Ally joining them as they passed. “Are you guys
going to be alright getting her home?” Ally asked concerned.
“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” Dinah reassured her and Normani. Camila
waved goodbye still wedged closely between Lauren and Dinah.
“She says thanks,” Dinah spoke on Camila’s behalf, reading her
friends’ thoughts. “No problem,” Ally replied. “We’ll see you both
tomorrow?” Camila nodded her head in the affirmative and
smiled, waving goodbye again as Dinah and Lauren helped her
down the drive towards the road. “I’ll be back in a minute,”
Lauren informed the girls. “I’ll leave the door on the latch,” Ally
told her. “Come straight in.” Lauren and Dinah helped Camila back
up the street to her own house, the journey getting progressively
easier as she managed to find her feet once again. At Camila’s
front door, Dinah took her keys off her and opened it,
disappearing inside to open the inside porch. Lauren helped
Camila over the threshold step and the other girl turned to face
her. “TTT….” Camila tried, growling in obvious frustration before
having another attempt. “Tthh….tthhh…..” “You’re welcome,”
Lauren replied a small smiling creeping onto her lips. Camila
returned it, nodding her head in appreciation as Dinah
reappeared. “You ready Chancho,” she asked holding out her
hand ready for Camila to take. Camila nodded as Dinah helped her
turn around. “Thanks for your help Lauren,” Dinah said gratefully
as Camila started to step past her. “No problem,” Lauren replied,
watching Camila closely. “It was my pleasure.” “See you
tomorrow?” Dinah asked. “You bet,” Lauren answered and Dinah
smiled at her sincerely. Just before she disappeared out of sight,
Camila turned her body slightly, giving Lauren one last wave
goodbye and a small, perfect smile before Dinah shut the door
closed behind them. That last wave, her last smile was more than
enough to have Lauren humming to herself all the way back to
Ally’s house. Lauren didn’t know what the future held, but, she
knew one thing for sure. She’d sleep well tonight; her dreams
filled with images of beauty and strength
Chapter 5
 After walking Camila back to her door with Dinah, Lauren had
returned to Ally’s house to help her and Normani wash up the
dishes and discuss their afternoon with their new acquaintances.
Lauren was furiously teased, once again, for her blatant crush on
Camila but Ally conceded that her genuine concern for the other
girls’ wellbeing was ‘all kinds of adorable.’ Normani took no time
filling Lauren in on their brief discussion with Dinah regarding
Camila’s indeterminate sexual orientation and informed her that
she would be making it her mission to fervently gather evidence
and verify it immediately, one way or another. Normani was
apparently so invested in setting the two of them up, that she
even told Lauren that she would gladly dedicate every waking
moment of her life from now on until that end was met. Lauren
had laughed at Normani’s enthusiasm but had informed both her
and Ally that, as strongly as she felt for Camila, she would happily
settle for being her friend for the time being and even the
foreseeable future as long as it meant that she could somehow be
a part of her life. Ally and Normani had shared matching tender
looks in reaction to Lauren’s words, both truly surprised by how
sincere and innocent she was with her intent towards Camila.
“She’s been through a lot,” Lauren had informed them,
articulating her words easily. “The last thing she is probably
thinking about right now is who she wants to date. She has so
many other more important concerns to worry about.” Lauren
paused for a moment to pick up a plate from the rack beside Ally’s
 sink and wipe it dry with the cloth in her hands. “I couldn’t even
begin to fathom how hard the school year is going to be for her,”
Lauren continued as she handed the plate to Normani who put it
away in the cupboard. “I don’t know how I’d manage at school if I
couldn’t read or write properly. She’s going to be so busy just
keeping up with assignments and school work that she probably
won’t even have time to date someone.” Ally handed Lauren
another plate to dry as she continued. “I just want to be there to
help her as much as I can.” Lauren told them honestly. “If I can
make her life just a little bit easier, even if it can’t be as anything
more than a friend then I can live with that. Just seeing the smile
on Camila’s face would be worth it. Just knowing that she was
happy, that her day wasn’t quite as bad because of me would be
enough for me.” Ally reached her hands up to Lauren’s face and
squeezed her cheeks gently, her wet hands leaving suds from the
sink in their wake. “You are too cute,” Ally said, returning to the
task at hand as Lauren wiped at her face with the cloth she was
holding. “I feel the same way actually,” she continued, picking up
a bowl and wiping it clean. “It’s almost impossible not to like
Camila, Dinah as well, once you start talking to them.” “You want
to date Camila too?” Normani teased playfully. “No,” Ally laughed.
“That I want to help her out as well if I can. I really hope the five
of us can become good friends. I really enjoyed having them both
over this afternoon. It
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter5 2/9 felt really easy, like we’ve known them
forever and they’ve always been a part of our group.” “It really
did,” Normani agreed putting away some cutlery in the draw
behind her. “It kind of surprises me that we’ve never really hang
out with them before today.” “Well,” Lauren said, drying the last
of the dishes and handed it to Normani who dealt with it
accordingly. “We’ll just have to make sure that it’s not just a one
off occurrence then.” Ally and Normani agreed as the three of
them vacated the kitchen and ventured into the hallway. It was
starting to get late and with school tomorrow, Normani and
Lauren had decided it was probably time to head home. The three
of them had said their goodbyes, Lauren dropping Normani off at
home before finally finding her way into her own bed, her
favourite shorts and tshirt pyjama set hugging her body
comfortably beneath her duvet. She’d laid there for a while, a
small smile on her lips, her thoughts recollecting the events of the
day, her mind conjuring up images of Camila’s deep chocolate
brown eyes, her dark hair and her soft pink lips. Lauren heard the
distant echoes of Camila’s low raspy tone in her ears and the
endearing stutter she had when she was struggling to speak, a
limitation and frustration to the other girl but perfection to her.
For the first time that Lauren could ever remember, she’d fallen
asleep that night not only looking forward to school but
anticipating it with an exhilaration and eagerness that she’d never
felt before, and all because of Camila. The next day and in fact,
over the next four weeks, the five girls fell into a steady routine of
shared classes and a further developing and deepening friendship.
Every day they would all meet in the quad for lunch and occupy
the same table that they had the first time they’d eaten together.
Their group was often joined by Troy, Arin and Siope, Dinah’s
boyfriend, in varying combinations and the conversation was
always easy and comfortable. Camila, as part of the extra help she
needed in order to keep up with her classes, attended an extra
study hall session with Miss Lovato after school every day as well
as ongoing speech and physical therapy on a Monday and
Thursday evening. Both Normani and Dinah had dance class
together after school on Tuesday, Lauren went to softball practice
on a Thursday and they all went to watch Arin play football on a
Friday. Therefore, as the only time everyone was free, the girls
chose to dedicate Wednesday afternoon to each other, meeting
at one of their homes to watch movies, eat junk food and talk.
Today would be the first time that the girls would be spending
their regular ‘girls’ night’ at Camila’s house, having already been
to Ally’s on the first day of school, Lauren’s the Wednesday after
and Dinah’s last week. “So do you need me to bring anything
tonight?” Lauren asked Camila, her right shoulder leaning against
the locker, propping her up as she waited. They had just finished
the math class that they shared together and were standing at
Camila’s locker so that she could deposit her books before they
met up with the rest of the girls for lunch. “No, just yourself.
 Normani’s providing the movie, and Dinah the junk food,” Camila
answered fumbling with her bag and dropping it on the floor
between them. “Shit,” she said reaching down to pick it up.
Lauren frowned, bending down quickly to retrieve the item before
Camila could. She held it out for Camila who took a beat before
reclaiming it. “That’s the sixth time you’ve dropped something
today,” Lauren asked concerned. “Is everything alright? The last
time this happened you had to go home early.” “I’m just tired.”
Camila stated simply, taking her French book from her locker and
dropping it into the bag. “Don’t worry about it.” Lauren examined
Camila’s face carefully, her eyes taking in the dark circles under
the other girls’ eyes and her pale and ashen complexion. “Do you
have a headache?” Lauren probed further, instinct and
understanding propelling her sudden uneasiness. Camila didn’t
meet Lauren’s gaze, instead focusing intently on moving objects
around in her locker, hiding her face behind the door. “Camila?”
Lauren asked, pulling the locker door open slightly to reveal the
features that frequented her dreams. Camila continued to ignore
Lauren’s question, prompting the other girl to reach for her right
arm which was moving around busily with the books in Camila’s
locker but achieving very little.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
tribulationschapter5 3/9 “Hey,” Lauren said her tone stern and
persistent. Camila sighed heavily, finally meeting Lauren’s eyes,
her arm still firmly held in the other girls’ hand. “It’s nothing,”
 Camila informed her. “Just stress.” “If it’s nothing,” Lauren began
earnestly, “then say something to me that consists of more than
just a few words. “That’s not fair,” Camila said pulling her arm out
of Lauren’s grasp. “Ok, I’m sorry, you’re right that wasn’t fair but,
Camila, we’ve gotten to know each other over the last month,”
Lauren replied, closing the space between them to force Camila’s
attention. “I can read your behaviour and I know something isn’t
right.” She paused for a moment, her voice adopting a softer tone
as she asked, “Please tell me what’s wrong?” Camila rubbed at
her right eye before reaching up and taking a pack of her
prescription painkillers from her locker and handing them to
Lauren. She closed the locker door and turned to face Lauren who
was eyeing the medication in confusion. “So you do have a
headache?” she asked, her voice uncertain. “Yes.” Camila
answered pointing at the small white container. “I need
something.” “Ok,” Lauren replied holding her hand out to give the
container back to Camila. She shook her head. “I can’t,” she
informed Lauren, her voice barely audible and shame evident on
her face. “Oh,” Lauren said, popping over the container and
tipping a small pill out into the palm of her hand before
transferring it to Camila’s now outstretched one. “Thanks,” Camila
said as she swallowed the pill quickly as Lauren put the cap back
on the container and dropped it into Camila’s bag. “That’s ok,”
Lauren replied frowning, Camila’s gaze fixed firmly on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Camila told her, shifting her weight slightly, still
 avoiding Lauren’s penetrating look. “Why do you always
apologise?” Lauren asked her. “You are allowed to have a bad day
Camila.” Camila finally lifted her head to meet Lauren’s piercing
green eyes and ran her right hand through her hair. Lauren
suppressed the urge to cup the side of Camila’s face with her
hand she looked so miserable. Instead she settled on rubbing
Camila’s right arm reassuringly. “It’s not just today,” Camila
responded finally as Lauren let the silence linger on between
them. She’d learnt quickly that sometimes Camila just needed
extra time to find her words and formulate her thoughts. “It’s
every day.” Lauren felt a wave of despair crash through her at
Camila’s words. She hated the thought that she was suffering at
any time but to learn that it was an ongoing problem devastated
her more than she cared to admit. “What can I do?” Lauren asked
desperately. “Nothing,” Camila answered with a finality that
struck Lauren hard and caused her heart to falter within her chest.
This time Lauren didn’t fight the need to hug Camila and she
reached forward, pulling the other girl into her arms and
squeezing her tightly. She felt Camila reach around her torso with
her right hand, her bag hanging loosely in her grip so that Lauren
felt it against the back of her legs. She felt Camila relax into the
hug a little, settling her forehead against Lauren’s shoulder. She
heard Camila’s deep intake of breath, felt her left hand, hampered
slightly by the splint covering it, reach up and grasp at her shirt
urgently. When Camila started sobbing into her chest it took
everything in Lauren not to break down into tears herself and she
strengthened her hold on the small form before her, planting a
soft kiss to the top of her head. She caught the scent of Camila’s
coconut shampoo and heard the Camila whisper a muffled,
“Please help me,” against her chest. At a complete loss as what to
say or do for the best, Lauren slowly released her hold on Camila
to look at her. She wiped a tear away from Camila’s eye with the
pad of her
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
tribulationschapter5 4/9 thumb and keeping one arm around
Camila’s waist she reached down and took the other girl’s bag
from her grasp. “Come on,” Lauren said, pulling Camila into her
side and guiding her down the hallway. “Where?” Camila asked
whilst wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her union jack jumper
hurriedly, suddenly feeling embarrassed by the questioning stares
of the students they passed. “Here,” Lauren said pushing open the
door to Miss Lovato’s classroom and directing Camila into it
gently. Miss Lovato looked up from marking papers at her desk at
the sudden intrusion, her expression changing from one of
irritation to alarm instantly on seeing Camila’s face. Lauren closed
the door behind the pair of them as Miss Lovato stood from her
seat hurriedly and made her way towards the girls. “Sorry for the
intrusion,” Lauren apologised as Miss Lovato navigated a path
through the desks. “What’s wrong?” Miss Lovato asked as Lauren
steered Camila into an empty chair and placed a comforting hand
 on her shoulder. She dropped Camila’s bag on the floor at her
feet. “I didn’t know what else to do,” Lauren stated looking
between Camila and Miss Lovato. “Can you help? Please?” Lauren
pleaded. “Of course,” Miss Lovato replied crouching in front of
Camila and taking her hand. “What’s going on?” “It’s nothing
really.” Camila said meeting Miss Lovato’s worried eyes, her own
still moist from her tears. “It’s stupid.” Miss Lovato glanced at
Lauren who was watching her expectantly. “I’m sure it isn’t
stupid,” she countered seriously as she pulled up a chair and
perched herself on it in front of Camila and the desk she occupied.
“Remember you promised me that you’d’ talk to me if you were
having problems?” she asked. “I’m going to have to hold you to
that now ok?” “I’m so tired.” Camila informed her and Miss
Lovato examined her face closely. “You look exhausted,” Miss
Lovato observed. “Are you sleeping ok?” Camila shook her head in
the negative. “She has nightmares,” Lauren added, having
discussed them with Camila and the other girls previously when
she’d come into work after a particularly bad night. Camila had
been so tired that she could barely speak at all and had wandered
round in a daze for the best part of the morning until Dinah had
finally convinced her to go to the school nurse who’d promptly
sent her home. “About the accident?” Miss Lovato probed
sensitively. “Yes,” Camila replied, her voice raspier than normal.
Lauren squeezed her shoulder encouraging and Camila glanced up
at her, a silent question in her eyes. “She dreams that she’s in the
hospital again,” Lauren told Miss Lovato for Camila, “and that she
can’t move….” “Everything hurts,” Camila cut her off. “There’s
crying but….I can’t see where it’s from.” She took a breath and
rubbed at her temple. “I can’t speak,” Camila continued after a
moment. “She says that there’s something in her mouth making it
difficult to swallow,” Lauren explained. “It scratches her throat
when she breathes.” “I wake up covered in sweat,” Camila tells
her. “It feels like I was back there….” “Camila,” Miss Lovato said
sadly. “These don’t sound like nightmares. They sound more like
memories.” Camila looked up at Lauren who was watching her
closely before looking back at Miss Lovato.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
tribulationschapter5 5/9 “Have you spoken to your therapist
about this?” Miss Lovato asked interestedly. “What does she
say?” “She says it’ll get easier,” Camila replied, “but it hasn’t.”
“It’s getting worse,” Lauren agreed. Miss Lovato rubbed Camila’s
hand reassuringly. “It will,” Miss Lovato said trying to sound
promising. “You have to continue to work with her Camila, it’ll get
better. It just takes time.” “It’s been months,” Camila stated flatly.
“Four months,” Miss Lovato told her honestly. “It’s only been four
months Camila. That’s all.” “I want to be normal again,” Camila
replied. “You are normal,” Lauren interceded before Miss Lovato
could attest to the same thing. “I’m not,” Camila said dejected.
“I’m not normal.” “Camila…” Lauren said, her gut wrenching in
despair. “No,” Camila said harshly. “Please don’t pretend.” “I’m
 not pretending,” Lauren protested. “You’re just as normal as me
or anyone else in this school.” Camila scoffed at Lauren’s words.
“Listen to Lauren,” Miss Lovato persisted. “She’s right, you’re…”
“Yesterday,” Camila interrupted. “My six year old sister managed
to tie her own shoes.” Camila laughed, not the deep sincere
chuckle which made Lauren’s face light up in delight at the sound
of but horrible and derisive. “My sister can tie her own shoes and
I can’t,” Camila continued. “My six year old sister has better hand
eye coordination then I do.” “You’re being too hard on yourself
Camila,” Miss Lovato told her. “You might not be able to tie your
shoes but you’ve made great progress since your first day back at
school. Your handwriting is much clearer, you’re speech is
improving every day, despite a few setbacks every now and then
when you’re tired or stressed.” “My writing is barely legible.”
Camila stated. “Even I can’t read it easily.” “It is legible though,”
Miss Lovato noted. “Could you have said that was the case four
weeks ago?” “I’m just so tired of everything,” Camila said
despondently. “I wish I’d died in that accident.” “Don’t say that,”
Lauren responded wretchedly. “Don’t ever say that.” “It’s true,”
Camila said not looking at either Lauren or the teacher sat before
her. “I wish that they’d let me die. It would be easier than this.”
“It may be easier,” Miss Lovato noted, “but would it really be
better Camila?” Camila didn’t say anything initially and instead sat
picking at the skin around the cuticles of her left hand. “It would
be better for everyone if I weren’t here,” Camila said finally,
glancing at Miss Lovato. “No it wouldn’t!” Lauren protested loudly
feeling her chest constrict in fear at Camila’s words. “Yes it
would,” Camila said back firmly. “My parents, Sofi, Dinah,
you….everyone could get on with their lives if I weren’t around to
worry about.” “Perhaps we like having you around,” Lauren said
back angrily. “Perhaps we would miss you if you weren’t here. Did
you ever think about that?” “You didn’t even know me a month
ago.” Camila replied heatedly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
tribulationschapter5 6/9 Camila’s words stung Lauren more than
she would ever admit and she felt her heart shatter at the
implication of them. “Dinah did,” Lauren bit back. “Dinah knew
you. She’s your friend, even if I’m not and you know what? She’d
be devastated if you weren’t here. Do you really think that your
death wouldn’t have affected her? Do you honestly believe that
she’d trade any version of you for the gaping black hole that your
death would have inflicted on her life? Do you?” Lauren paused
for breath, her hurt escaping in a flurry of words. “I know she
wouldn’t,” Lauren continued quickly, “because I’ve spoken to her
and she told me what it was like to sit by your bed and pray every
single day for a miracle that she was told would never come.”
“Lauren,” Miss Lovato said reaching up to place a staying hand on
her arm. Lauren yanked it away hastily. “I know I’ve only recently
gotten to know you,” Lauren went on undeterred by Miss Lovato’s
attempts to calm her. “I understand that I’ve only known you for a
few weeks but I can’t imagine every going back to a version of my
life that you did not exist in. I know Ally and Normani feel the
same way too.” Camila watched Lauren stunned into silence by
her sudden outburst. “Honestly I have no idea what you’re going
through, I couldn’t even begin to understand how hard it is for
you but you think that you’re some massive burden when you’re
not.” “Lauren,” Miss Lovato cautioned again but she went on
regardless. ““We want to help you.” Lauren told her firmly. “We
don’t do it because we feel some obligation to you, especially me,
having only known you a month of course.” Lauren almost choked
on her own words, they tasted so bitter. “Perhaps it’s just nice to
be able to do something for a change. We watch you struggle
everyday knowing we can do nothing to help you, that it’s just
going to take time and we’re frustrated for you too.” “Lauren
that’s enough,” Miss Lovato said reproachfully. “You might feel
useless most of the time,” Lauren stated, “but you know what?
More often than not we feel just as useless too. The only reason
that Dinah and your parents and everyone else who loves you
keeps going is because you do.” Lauren noted. “Think about that
the next time you wish your life away.” She finished before
turning on her heels and walking out the classroom, not stopping
once to look back over her shoulder. Lauren knew it was wrong.
She regretted her words the instant that she’d said them.
Regretted leaving the classroom as soon as she heard the door
close forcefully behind her and had found herself standing alone
 in the busy hallway. She fought hard to suppress the tears that
threatened to fall but was unsuccessful, the hot liquid pooling at
her eyes before making tracks down her cheeks. She felt guilty
that she’d hurt Camila, she really did but, she was so angry, so
wounded and pained that Camila hated herself so much that she
wished she was dead that she just reacted, no thought, no
consideration for how her words would affect the other girl. For
the first time, Lauren let her emotions completely overcome her;
she finally drowned in them instead of treading water as she had
been for the last four weeks. They’d grown so close in such a
short period of time that Lauren felt as though she’d known
Camila for years. She thought that Camila had felt the same way,
but, her words had told a different story and Lauren finally knew
the agony that people described when they’d had their heart
broken. “Shit,” Lauren mumbled to herself, taking a breath to try
and regain some composure. She ran a hand quickly through her
hair. “Shit, shit, shit!” She cursed, slamming her fist against the
locker heavily and kicking the one beneath it with her foot
resolutely. “Fucking fuck,” Lauren swore, turning around and
briskly making her way back to Miss Lovato’s classroom. She
paused for a moment at the door before opening it and stepping
inside. Miss Lovato looked up to look at the intruder but Camila,
thinking it a stranger, had turned her head away from the door to
hide her face from view, her shoulders shaking slightly as she tried
to stop herself crying. “Lauren,” Miss Lovato said
 compassionately. “I really don’t think you should….”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
tribulationschapter5 7/9 “Please,” Lauren begged cutting her off,
a sad sob escaping her lips, her bottom lip trembling. “I’m sorry,
I’m so, so, sorry Camila.” She continued addressing the other girl.
Camila had turned to look at Lauren when Miss Lovato had
addressed her and was climbing out of her chair swiftly as Lauren
apologised. She stood, closing the distance between herself and
Lauren in only a few steps. Camila threw her arms around
Lauren’s waist and burying her face in her chest as she had done
earlier. Lauren embraced Camila tightly in her arms, only
loosening her grip slightly when she feared she might break the
already broken and fragile girl in front of her with her vice like
grasp. “Please don’t hate me,” Lauren almost whispered. “Please,
I don’t think I could bear it if you hated me.” “I don’t hate you,”
Camila mumbled into her chest and Lauren felt a wave of relief
wash over her. “I’m so grateful for you,” Camila told her, “for
Dinah and my family.” She continued. “I’ve never hated you.
Never.” Camila clasped Lauren’s shirt desperately in her right
hand but fumbled with her left, the fingers there still weak and
uncoordinated. “Please don’t hate yourself either.” Lauren said
perceptively. “Please…” She paused to swallow hard, her throat
thick with emotion. “You’re so amazing. You are one of the most
amazing people I know. You’re so strong and brave and….and
incredible. There aren’t enough positive words in the dictionary to
 describe how amazing you are.” Camila turned her head to look
up at Lauren who brushed a stray lock of her dark hair out of her
eyes. Camila felt herself smile at the gesture, her skin tingling
where Lauren’s fingertips had brushed it. “I have so much respect
for you Camila,” Lauren told her truthfully. “You have no idea how
much.” “I need help,” Camila said honestly. “I hate feeling like
this. I hate it.” “I know,” Miss Lovato placed a hand on Camila’s
shoulder, gently separating he girls. Reluctant to let Camila go
completely, Lauren entwined the fingers of her left hand with
Camila’s right, squeezing it firmly in her grasp. “Please help me,”
Camila asked her. “Ok,” Miss Lovato said, “but, I think you need to
talk to someone that’s better equipped to help you.” She
informed. “I’m not the right person as much as I want to be.” She
glanced at Lauren, a sad smile on her lips. “Neither is Lauren,” she
told the girls, “or Dinah, or any of your friends Camila. Lauren
knew that, it’s why she bought you to me.” “Are you going to send
me to see my therapist?” Camila asked her. “Yes,” Miss Lovato
informed her honestly, nodding her head. “I wouldn’t be doing my
duty if I didn’t. My understanding is that depression is common
after any physical trauma but, your report states that there is an
extremely high incidence in patients who’ve had a head injury.
You need someone who has experience dealing with that and I
don’t think it can wait until tomorrow or this afternoon.” “You’re
sending me home?” Camila asked. “Yes,” Miss Lovato stated. “I
know you dislike going home or being treated differently but this
 is important Camila. I wouldn’t do it otherwise. You know that.”
Camila nodded in understanding. “Ithink I should go,” Camila
agreed. “I don’t want to be like this anymore.” “Ok,” Miss Lovato
said pleased with Camila’s decision. “Let’s go.” She held her arm
out for Camila who looked at Lauren for a moment before
releasing the other girl’s hand. She took a step towards Miss
Lovato who wrapped her arm around the youngsters’ shoulders
encouragingly. “Please tells the others where I am?” Camila asked
Lauren “Ok,” Lauren promised. “I will.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59812805951/trialsand-
tribulationschapter5 8/9 “I’ll see you later?” Camila asked
hopefully, her face betraying the fear of Lauren’s rejection. “I’ll
call you,” Lauren replied not sure whether Camila would be able
to see anyone this evening. “Please,” Camila said, making a move
towards Lauren. “It’s Wednesday.” “We’ll see.” Lauren said not
wanting to give Camila false hope. “I’ll check with your mom
alright? If she says its’ ok then we’ll be there….just you try and
keep us away.” “Come on Camila,” Miss Lovato urged. “Let’s get
you home. The sooner you are, the quicker you’ll know what the
plan moving forward is, ok?” Camila nodded. “Lauren, come back
and see me after lunch alright?” Miss Lovato requested as she
steered Camila towards the door, the youngsters eyes fixed on
Lauren who offered her an encouraging smile and nodded in
response to Miss Lovato’s demand. Camila gave Lauren a small
smile back and waved a quick goodbye as she disappeared out the
 door. Lauren stood alone for a moment, wondering how they’d
gone from making plans for this evening to now in such a short
space of time. She took a little longer to compose herself before
heading out to the quad to find Dinah and the others. She’d made
Camila a promise and despite feeling completely and utterly
helpless to do anything for the other girl to make her feel better,
to stop her selfloathing, this one thing she could do, and Lauren
would, because it was better than doing nothing. A/N: Thank you
all for the kind reviews. I don’t know how I feel about this chapter.
I just wanted to jump ahead a little in time so that we could start
addressing some issues and moving the relationship forward
because I don’t feel like I could have had Lauren and Camila
moving towards a relationship realistically after just a day.
Anyway, the next chapter will carry straight on from this one….I
hope you’ll read it x
Chapter 6
Lauren was quick to find Dinah, Ally and Normani at their usual
table in the quad. They were alone today with no sign of their
significant others and Lauren couldn’t help but feel glad. It would
be much easier to inform them of the events that had just
transpired without their presence. It was early October and the
weather, although still dry was starting to get cooler, the leaves
outside a beautiful palette of various colours. Lauren slid quickly
into a vacant seat beside Ally who looked at her with slight
concern. “You’re late,” Ally commented, taking a moment to
 glance behind Lauren in search of Camila, “and alone.” She
continued. “Where’s Camila? Haven’t you just had math
together?” Lauren dropped her gaze to the table, feeling
uncomfortable at the attentive looks her friends were giving her.
“Lauren?” Dinah asked her voice anxious. “What’s wrong?”
Lauren looked up to meet Dinah’s worried face, her gut twisting
nervously. She knew that she had to tell them everything that had
happened, Camila had asked her to do so, but, that didn’t mean it
would be easy for Lauren. She felt sick just thinking about how
miserable Camila had been, the words she’d spoken echoing
hauntingly in her head. I wish that they’d let me die. “Lauren?”
Dinah asked nervously. “What is it?” Lauren looked between the
apprehensive faces of her friends, each one of them evidently
uneasy. They all cared for Camila; Lauren could see it clear as day.
“I don’t know where to start,” Lauren admitted honestly. “Is
Camila ok?” Normani asked glancing at Dinah who was becoming
increasingly more restless beside her. “Physically,” Lauren said.
“Emotionally she’s a bit of a mess to be honest.” “Where is she?”
Dinah asked making a move to stand up. Lauren reached out her
hand and took Dinah’s quickly to stay her. “She’s going home.”
Lauren told them. “Miss Lovato is calling her mom to come and
collect her.” “I should go and see her,” Dinah said standing once
again and going to move past Lauren. “I don’t think that’s such a
good idea,” Lauren admitted, pulling on Dinah’s hand once again.
Dinah stopped just in front of Lauren and looked at her, waiting
 for an explanation. Lauren didn’t say anything straight away, just
sat silently watching Dinah until the other girl took the hint and
returned to her seat. Once she was back beside Normani, Lauren
continued to explain everything that had happened in the short
space of time between now and the end of their last class. Before
she could even finish, Dinah shot out of her seat and had almost
completely passed Lauren by the time she had reacted enough to
realise what was happening.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 2/10 “Dinah,” she said, hurriedly vacating
her seat and chasing after the other girl. She placed a firm hand
on Dinah’s shoulder and she turned to face Lauren evidently
irritated, “leave her. The help she needs right now we can’t give
to her.” “I can’t just leave her,” Dinah replied tears threatening to
fall, her voice catching in her throat. “She’s my best friend.” “I
know she is,” Lauren responded with understanding. She pulled
Dinah into a comforting hug and the other girl reciprocated it, her
arms enveloping Lauren firmly. “I know exactly how you feel and
it is killing me to stay away as well, it really is, but, Miss Lovato is
right. Camila needs to speak to someone who is trained in dealing
with situations like this.” Dinah relaxed her grip on Lauren and
stepped back slightly in order to meet her gaze. “I can’t lose her,”
Dinah said wretchedly. “I won’t. I’ve only just gotten her back
again.” Lauren pulled Dinah into her again in an attempt to ease
her fears but she felt a complete fraud, knowing that she shared
 them one hundred percent. “I don’t think she’d do anything,”
Lauren said, trying to put as much conviction into her voice as she
could, but, even she heard the doubt in her tone. “She was just….”
Dinah looked up at her expectantly. “Venting,” Lauren finally
finished. “It was just words. That’s all. I don’t think she’s really
given the idea any serious thought. She’s not…you know….I don’t
think she’d actually go through with anything…she wouldn’t
ever…” “Kill herself?” Dinah said quietly when Lauren found that
she couldn’t speak the words out loud. “Right,” Lauren replied,
nodding her head slightly and rubbing Dinah’s back with her hand
reassuringly. “Plus, she’s with Miss Lovato and then her mom will
pick her up and take her to see her therapist…it’s not like she’ll be
left on her own or anything.” Dinah nodded in agreement,
Lauren’s logic offering some small comfort at least. The two of
them moved back to their seats, Normani placing a consoling
hand on Dinah’s shoulder and wiping away a stray tear which had
loosed itself onto her cheek with her other one. Ally smiled sadly
at Lauren, threading her arm through hers and holding her hand,
entwining their fingers together, their shoulders pressed closely
to one another. They sat together in relative silence for the rest of
lunch, the mood among them sombre and thoughtful. Finally,
lunch period was over and Lauren and the rest of the girls
separated to go to their respective classes, agreeing to meet up
by Lauren’s car at the end of the day to contact Camila’s mom and
see whether they would be able to see her. Lauren made her way
 back to Miss Lovato’s classroom, anxious about why the teacher
wanted to see her. She feared reproach for her outburst earlier
towards Camila. She already felt guilty enough for her words but
to have Miss Lovato acknowledge them enough to admonish her
increased that tenfold. She knocked warily on Miss Lovato’s door,
waiting for a response to permit her entrance to the classroom.
She entered timidly when she heard Miss Lovato’s voice respond
‘Come in.’ Her teacher looked up and smiled kindly when she saw
Lauren approaching the desk at the front of the room, the door
quietly clicking back into place behind her. “Lauren,” Miss Lovato
greeted, gesturing for her to take the seat in the desk opposite
her own. Lauren sat down hesitantly as Miss Lovato leaned
forward onto her elbows, closing the distance between the two of
them. Lauren lowered her gaze nervously, waiting to be
reprimanded. “Are you ok?” Miss Lovato asked the youngster, her
voice full of genuine concern. “Ijust wanted to check on you after
everything that happened?” Lauren raised her eyes to meet Miss
Lovato’s and did not doubt the look of surprise which would more
than likely be on her own face. “Really?” Lauren asked her.
“You’re not going to tell me off for what I said to Camila?”
“Knowing you, I think you’re probably already punishing yourself
enough for that.” Miss Lovato said sympathetically.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 3/10 Lauren nodded her assent. “Look
Lauren,” Miss Lovato said seriously. “This isn’t an easy situation
 for anyone, you and the rest of Camila’s friends especially.
Everyone is trying their best to be there for her. You all care for
her greatly and want to help her get through this.” She paused for
a moment before continuing. “Sometimes people need to hear a
little bit of honesty in order to help them get some perspective.”
Miss Lovato went on. “I don’t think you said anything that wasn’t
true or she didn’t need to hear.” “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry
though,” Lauren noted. “I agree that your delivery could have
been better,” Miss Lovato said laughing lightly. “I think under the
circumstances it was understandable so try not to beat yourself
up about it too much.” “Is she going to be ok?” Lauren asked her
hopefully. “I mean, she’ll get help?” “Her mom picked her up and
they’ve gotten an emergency appointment with her therapist.”
Miss Lovato told her. “I think it’s important for Camila to talk
about her thoughts and feelings. She talks about the accident,
about what happened to her and what she can and cannot do as a
result of it but, she never comments on how it made and makes
her feel. Sometimes we’ll get a glimpse into her head, like, for
example today but, not often. She doesn’t volunteer the
information willingly it has to be drawn out of her.” “She bottles
everything up,” Lauren agreed. “You’ve noticed that too huh?”
Miss Lovato chuckles. “It’s because she doesn’t like relying on
other people,” Lauren notes perceptively. “She doesn’t want to
admit that she can’t do the things she did before. That she needs
help. She always looks so ashamed when she asks me to do
 something for her.” “I think part of the problem is that Camila
hasn’t really dealt with what happened to her,” Miss Lovato
replied. “She’s still in denial about how serious the accident was
and how close she came to dying. She thinks that because she is
back at school she should be back to normal and it frustrates her
that she isn’t. It is understandable that it upsets her, it really is.”
“She doesn’t think it is though.” Lauren said simply.
“Understandable I mean. She thinks it means she’s weak and
pathetic.” “That is precisely the problem,” Miss Lovato agreed.
They sat in silence for a moment before Miss Lovato scrawled a
note for Lauren to take to her next period teacher explaining her
tardiness. She stood up from the desk and walked around to
where Lauren now stood standing. “You’re a smart girl Lauren,”
Miss Lovato said handing her the note and smiling considerately.
“It’s nice to see that you and Camila have become such good
friends. She’s lucky to have you around to support her.” Lauren
took the note but said nothing, unsure how to respond to Miss
Lovato’s kind words. “My advice,” Miss Lovato went on, “just
continue to be there. Even when it’s hard for her and she lashes
out or tries to push you away. Especially be there for her then,
because that’s when she’ll need you to be around the most.” “I
will,” Lauren replied truthfully. “If you ever need to talk,” Miss
Lovato continued, “about anything, I’m here alright?” “Ok,”
Lauren acknowledged. “Thank you.” “Stay strong,” Miss Lovato
noted smiling. “Camila will get through this eventually. You all
 will.” “I hope so,” Lauren said as she picked her bag up from the
floor and put it over her shoulder. “You’ll see,” Miss Lovato
commented. “People are notoriously resilient.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 4/10 Lauren returned Miss Lovato’s smile,
thanking her once again before heading towards her next class.
She sat, her mind preoccupied with thoughts of Camila and
everything that had occurred today throughout this and the rest
of her classes until finally and with great relief, school was over.
Lauren rushed outside to the car park to meet up with Ally, Dinah
and Normani and was happy to find them already assembled,
Normani leaning against the frame of Lauren’s car, Dinah biting
her nails nervously, her phone pressed to her ear. “Hi,” Lauren
greeted. “Is Dinah calling Camila?” she asked of Normani. “She’s
trying to,” Normani answered pushing herself off the car frame,
“but she isn’t answering. This is the fifth time she’s been passed
through to Camila’s voicemail.” “Camila!” Dinah said obviously
having been invited to leave a message after the tone. “Would
you please answer your phone? I’m worried about you. We all
are. I’m coming over there if you don’t get back to me. Camila!
Pick up the phone! Ugh, if you don’t have a valid reason for not
answering my calls I’m going to kick your ass alright? Do you hear
me Cabello? Get ready for a Poly beat down.” “What?” Dinah
asked as she disconnected the call and noticed the others looking
at her with an amused expression on their faces. “You’ll kick her
 ass?” Normani asked chuckling lightly. “That’s a little bit
counterproductive don’t you think?” “Nah,” Dinah said, “she
knows I’m only joking….well, kind of.” “So what do we do?” Ally
asked. “Are we going to go round to see her?” “Have you tried
calling her mom?” Lauren asked Dinah. “No,” Dinah replied.
“Ithought I’d try Camila first. I’ll try here now though.” Dinah
selected the contact in her phone and put it to her ear once again.
“So did you manage to concentrate on classes at all this
afternoon?” Normani asked Lauren as they waited. “No,” she
admitted. “You?” “No,” Normani said stepping forward a little
closer to Lauren. “I feel like we should do something for Camila,”
she continued. “You know, to cheer her up.” “Like what?” Ally
asked. “I don’t know,” Normani replied honestly. “Hi, Sinu,” they
heard Dinah say as the call obviously connected. “It’s Dinah…yeah
I know….is she….ok….yeah….should I….is that
alright….ok…yeah….bye….” Dinah put the phone back into her
pocket as the others waited expectantly. “She’s home,” Dinah
commented. “Her mom said that she’s been a bit of a mess this
afternoon but that her therapist thinks it’ll be good for her to
have some friends over.” “So it’s a go?” Ally asked eagerly. “It’s a
go.” Dinah confirmed. “I have to go back to mine to pick up a few
movies,” Normani informed them. “I completely forgot to pack
something in my bag this morning.” “I’ll drive you,” Ally offered
generously. “Ok, well, we’ll head over to Camila’s house then,”
Lauren said. “See you there?” “We won’t be long,” Normani said
as her and Ally turned and started to make their way towards the
shorter girl’s car. Lauren unlocked her car doors and got inside,
Dinah following closely after her. They drove together to Camila’s
house, Lauren pulling up at the curb outside and shutting off the
engine. She turned to look at Dinah who had made no move to
get out of the car. “You think she’ll be ok?” Lauren asked
nervously. “I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Dinah said,
reaching for the door handle and vacating the car.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 5/10 Lauren followed suit, locking the car
with her key fob as they made their way up the path to Camila’s
door. It bought back memories to the time Lauren had made this
same journey, after the barbecue at Ally’s when she and Dinah
had helped an exhausted Camila back home. Lauren smiled at the
recollection. Dinah knocked on the door and shortly after it was
opened by a short woman with blonde hair styled into a bob
which Lauren assumed to be Camila’s mom. Her eyes were puffy
and red, her face tired looking and Lauren felt herself smile
sympathetically. “Hi Dinah,” Mrs Cabello greeted, pulling her into
a warm hug. She’d known Dinah since she was born and Camila
had commented once before that they were pretty much thought
of as a member of the family by each other’s parents. “Hi,” Dinah
replied hugging her back tightly. “Are you ok?” They separated
and Lauren saw Mrs Cabello smile gratefully at Dinah’s concern.
“I’m fine,” she said patting Dinah’s shoulder reassuringly. “It’s just
 been a rough day….for everyone Ithink.” She turned towards
Lauren. “Hi,” she greeted extending out a hand. “Hi,” Lauren
reciprocated, taking her hand awkwardly. “This is Lauren,” Dinah
introduced. “Oh,” Mrs Cabello said in recognition, the two of
them not having met up until this point. “It’s nice to finally meet
you Lauren. Camila talks about you all the time.” “Nice to meet
you too Mrs Cabello,” Lauren replied. “Please,” Camila’s mom
said, “Call me Sinu.” “All the cool people do,” Dinah commented
and Sinu laughed in response. “Where’s Camila?” Dinah asked.
“She’s in her room,” Sinu replied. “Knowing Camila she’s probably
listening to her music.” She paused for a moment to gesture the
girls into the house. “Go on up girls. Dinah you know where it is.”
“Thanks,” Dinah said, leading Lauren into the house and towards
the stairs. Lauren glanced around, taking in Camila’s home as they
made their way through it. She’d not been to Camila’s house
before and Lauren found that it almost perfectly suited what she
had imagined it to be. It was the definition of a family home;
there were family photos everywhere, pictures of Camila and her
little sister playing at the beach, a family picture that had been
taken in front of the tree at Christmas. It wasn’t cluttered, but it
wasn’t in pristine condition either, instead having that ‘lived in’
quality which Lauren liked. Lauren studied the pictures lining the
wall as she made her way up the stairs behind Dinah and almost
bumped into the other girl as she came to an abrupt halt on the
landing and knocked gently on a door in front of them. The pair of
 them waited for a moment for permission to enter but when
nothing came, Dinah carefully opened the door and stepped into
the room. Lauren followed after her and almost instantly saw the
form of Camila, lying on her side atop the bed, asleep, her
earphones in place and the sound of music just audible from
where she stood. An open notebook lay on the bed beside her, a
pen resting in the crease of it. “Camila,” Dinah said approaching
the bed. She perched herself down on the edge of it, her arm
reaching across Camila’s body to help keep her balance. Camila’s
eyes opened at the sudden shift in the mattress and she blinked a
couple of times before she seemed to recognise Dinah before her.
She pulled the inear headphones out and sat herself up in the
bed. “Hi,” she greeted and Dinah instantly pulled her into an
enormous hug. “Hi?” Dinah asked laughing, “That’s all you’ve got
to say….You scared the crap out of me today Chancho.” “I’m
sorry,” Camila apologised hugging Dinah back firmly. “I didn’t
mean to.” “It’s ok,” Dinah replied separating herself from Camila,
but brushing a stray lock of hair out of the other girls’ eye. “Just,
try not to do it again alright?” “I’ll try,” Camila said her voice
small. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trials-
andtribulationschapter6 6/10 “Do we need to talk about what
happened?” Dinah asked her. “Probably,” Camila admitted
glancing in Lauren’s direction and offering a smile in greeting.
Lauren smiled back, her hand lifting into a minute wave. “Did
Lauren tell you everything?” “Yes,” Dinah informed her.
 “Everything?” Camila pressed anxiously. “Yes everything,” Dinah
clarified. “Did you really say that?” “Say what?” Camila asked.
“You know…” Dinah implored. “That I wished I’d died.” Camila
said emotionlessly. “Yeah that,” Dinah replied. Camila nodded her
head. “Do you really wish that Mila?” Dinah said sadly. “Would
you ever….you know, do something about it?” she asked a hint of
desperation in her voice. Camila shook her head in response.
“Then why did you say it?” Dinah asked her. “I’ve been worrying
about you all afternoon, picturing all kinds of horrible scenarios.”
She paused momentarily and inhaled deeply in an attempt not to
start crying. “I won’t sit by your hospital bed again Camila. I can’t
do that alright? I don’t ever want to have to feel like I did back
then again….not ever.” Dinah wiped at her face, tears coming
despite her best efforts. “You have no idea what it was like,”
Dinah went on, “to see you in there…..to just wait and wait
and….wait, some more. To listen to your mom crying…and
Sofi….she kept asking questions…she didn’t understand why
everyone was so sad.” Lauren felt her own eyes moisten at
Dinah’s words and for the first time in the last month she was
grateful that she’d not known Camila at the time of the accident.
She didn’t think she’d have been able to function if she’d been in
Dinah’s place, she felt like she was being ripped in two just
thinking about it. Camila was crying too now and she kissed Dinah
lightly on the temple. “I won’t,” she said quietly between sobs. “I
promise. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry Dinah.” Dinah pulled Camila
 back into a ferocious hug, sniffling in an attempt to stop crying.
“Ilove you Chancho,” Dinah said swallowing hard. “So much.” “I
love you too,” Camila replied kissing Dinah on the cheek and
tucking her chin into the crook of her neck. They stayed like that
for a moment and Lauren wiped at her eyes with her sleeve to rid
the tears which were spilling from them. After a minute, Dinah
cleared her throat and the two of them separated. “So,” Dinah
said gesturing for Lauren to sit down on the end of the bed so that
they could all talk. “How did it go with your therapist?” “It was
ok,” Camila said glancing between her friends. “She’s put me on
some antidepressants and I have to go and see her every week
now.” “What did she say?” Lauren asked her interestedly. Camila
stroked her arm thoughtfully before answering. “She says I need
to deal with my feelings towards the accident,” Camila said. “That
I need to stop focusing on what I can’t do because of it and think
about the things that I can do.” “Like the fact that you are having
a coherent conversation with us without your tongue getting
stuck in your head.” Dinah stated smiling. “Right,” Camila said
smiling too, as though she’d not even really realised that her
speech was so much better than it were four weeks ago. “I need
to be more positive.” “I could have told you that.” Dinah said,
“You’re always so hard on yourself.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 7/10 “She told me I should write my feelings
down,” Camila told them. “Put them in a journal or something so
 that I can get them out and stop internalising them.” Camila
picked up the notebook on the bed and showed it to the Dinah
and Lauren. “What’s that supposed to say?” Dinah asked pulling a
face at not wanting to offend Camila. Camila laughed and Lauren’s
heart leapt at the sound. It seemed like a lifetime ago she’d last
heard it and she was glad that its sweet music was finally back.
“Well,” Camila replied. “I started writing and couldn’t, so I ended
up just scribbling all over the page.” “Ithink it’s probably a perfect
representation of how you feel,” Lauren smiled. “I know right?”
Camila chuckled, a broad grin spreading across her face. Lauren
felt her own smile widen exponentially in response to it. “Ithought
so too.” “We should hang it up,” Dinah said ripping out the page
and standing up. “What?” Camila said. “You know, for therapeutic
reasons.” Dinah said, finding some blue tack and sticking the page
up on Camila’s wall. “That way you can look at it and I don’t know,
punch it or something when you feel that way again.” “You’re an
idiot.” Camila chortled. “What else did your therapist say?”
Lauren asked as Dinah sat back down on the bed. “Besides to
become the next Banksy with your awesome art.” “She told me I
should try and get back to doing the things that I used to enjoy
before the accident,” Camila enlightened them. “Easier said than
done though.” “Why is that?” Lauren asked. “Because…” Camila
said, “The things I used to enjoy were playing my guitar, reading
and writing. I can’t do any of them very well.” “Yeah but practice
makes perfect right,” Lauren said standing up and picking up the
 guitar resting against the wall in the corner of Camila’s room.
Camila looked dubious but took the guitar in her hands. It felt
alien to her, cumbersome and weighty. She tried to curve her left
hand around the neck of the guitar but struggled to manoeuvre
her injured hand easily, the fingers not responding to the
commands of her brain. Camila grimaced slightly, her wrist painful
and stiff in the splint she had on, her muscles protesting to being
stretched more than they had been over the last few months.
“Here,” Lauren said reaching for Camila’s wrist as she opened and
closed her fingers quickly to encourage some sensation back into
them. Lauren gently undid the splint and paused, studying the
now evident damage to Camila’s arm. A thick, angry looking scar
ran the length of Camila’s forearm and across her wrist into the
palm of her hand. Lauren examined Camila’s hand closely,
stroking her thumb across the blemish until Camila pulled her arm
away selfconsciously. “It’s ugly I know,” Camila said pulling her
sleeve down to cover it up. “No it’s not,” Lauren told her pointing
at the scar on her forehead and then to the one on the left side of
her head. “Neither are they.” “I think they’re kind of cool,” Dinah
said seriously. “I don’t have any scars…I’m kind of boring.” “Trade
you,” Camila responded teasingly. “A scar simply means that you
were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you,” Lauren stated
thoughtfully. “Or….kill you in your case I suppose.” Camila
laughed despite the joke being in bad taste. “Ilove that.” Dinah
said. “Did you just make that up?” “No,” Lauren admitted, “I saw
 it on tumblr.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 8/10 “I should have known,” Dinah replied
laughing. “Tumblr is full of wisdom.” “Seriously though Camila,”
Lauren said reaching out and taking back her arm to roll up the
sleeve which was now covering the imperfection. “Don’t ever be
embarrassed or ashamed of your scars. Like Demi Lovato said
they’re, ‘beautiful in a way. They show what you’ve been through
and how strong you are for coming out of it.’ “You like Demi
Lovato?” Camila asked excitedly. “Are you kidding? Ilove her,”
Lauren answered enthusiastically. “Me too!” Camila replied
happily. “Do you know how to play any of her songs?” Lauren
asked Camila. “Of course,” Camila said feigning indignation.
“Heart attack?” Lauren asked her. “What?” Camila questioned
uncertainly. “Try and play it.” She clarified. “Oh,” Camila said, her
brow furrowing in concentration. She stuck her tongue out as she
tried to wrap her hand around the neck of the guitar once more.
She managed to get her fingers connected to the strings but was
unable to coordinate her fingers enough to make a chord. “Crap,”
she cursed. “I can’t get my fingers in the right position. They feel
numb.” Lauren scooted closer to Camila her left hand grasping the
neck of the guitar. “Ok,” she said, “How about this….I’ll make the
chords and you do the strumming pattern.” Lauren placed her
free arm around Camila’s torso so that it was out of the way. “Are
you serious?” Camila asked. “Yeah,” Lauren said, “Why not? I’ve
 played the guitar since my dad taught me as a kid.” Camila looked
at Dinah who was smiling encouragingly. “Alright,” Camila said
and she looked for Lauren to form the first chord. Slowly, the two
of them managed to work their way through the song, Lauren
moving her hand instinctively to form the notes whilst Camila
strummed the tune. “See,” Lauren said happily once they’d
finished. “Easy. Now, this time, don’t worry about the chords, just
play as if you were doing them yourself. I’ll keep up with you.”
Once again they played the song, this time the two of them
working in unison so that it was almost perfect. Dinah even sang
along to the music, her voice filling the room whilst Camila
laughed cheerfully. “We did it,” Camila exclaimed afterwards. “Did
you see that? I actually kind of did it.” “So you’ll practice?” Lauren
asked her, “Then in a few days you’ll be able to form one chord
yourself, ok? That’s your mission.” Camila’s chuckle filled the
room and both Lauren and Dinah shared delighted looks. “Ok,”
Camila almost sang, “Yeah, alright. I will.” “Aww yay,” Dinah said
pleased. “I’ve really missed you playing the guitar Camila. You
were so good at it.” “Will you help me practice?” Camila asks
Lauren hopefully. “Maybe if I get good enough we can play guitar
together?” “I’d really love that,” Lauren said honestly. “Me too,”
Camila told her truthfully. “Thank you.” “No need to thank me,”
Lauren told her seriously, “The look on your face right now is all
the thanks I’ll ever need. Its’ so nice to see you smiling again.”
“Amen,” Dinah agreed.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/59976636090/trialsand-
tribulationschapter6 9/10 Camila’s features broke into a face
eating grin and she chuckled, a light, easy laugh which made
elated Lauren more than she’d ever thought possible. Lauren was
so content and happy in that moment that she didn’t think she
could feel any better if someone came in and told her she’d won
the lottery. Lauren was proven wrong however when Camila leant
over and planted a quick grateful kiss on her cheek before saying,
‘thank you’ once more. Lauren’s smile grew even wider, her hand
reached up to touch the spot carefully in surprise. Her head felt
light and giddy and her heart had seemingly grown ten times as
large in her chest, its beat pounding in her ears loudly. Lauren
thought that if it were possible to die of happiness, she would
have drop dead on the spot right then and there.
Chapter 7
Camila placed her guitar down onto the floor in front of her and
practically bounced up off the bed. She spun on her heels quickly
to face Lauren and Dinah, the smile from moments ago still just as
evident, her eyes sparkling with joy. “Do you guys want something
to drink?” she asked them both. “Sure,” Dinah said lightly. “Do
you have any Cola?” “I’m not sure,” Camila admitted. “I’ll see
what I can do.” She turned to look at Lauren who was staring off
into space, a dazed expression on her face. “Lauren?” Camila
asked again. As if just realising that Camila had spoken to her,
Lauren turned to meet her questioning gaze. “Sorry what?” she
asked evidently not hearing Camila’s question, her mind replaying
the moment that Camila had kissed her over and over again in her
head. “Do you want something to drink?” Camila asked again.
“Yeah that’d be good, thanks.” Lauren virtually stuttered out. “Ok
I’ll be right back,” Camila replied before whirling around to vacate
the room. Lauren reached her hand back up to the spot on her
cheek where Camila’s lips had pressed against it. “Just breathe
Lauren,” Dinah said chuckling to herself in amusement. She had
shifted position on the bed so that she was lying on her stomach,
her head at the foot of it, facing towards the door. “Take a
moment, compose yourself and relearn how to articulate your
words properly.” “You saw that right?” Lauren asked, stroking her
cheek lightly, still in shock. “Yes I saw it,” Dinah laughed. “Even if I
hadn’t, I’d probably have guessed that something had happened.
You’re acting like a lovestruck puppy and your face is probably the
reddest I’ve ever seen it.” “Oh god,” Lauren said. “Really?”
“Really.” Dinah confirmed. “If you were blushing any more you’d
probably be able to fill in for Rudolph and guide Santa’s sleigh at
Christmas….I mean, don’t get me wrong, its super adorable.
You’re just rubbish at keeping your feelings off of your face, so to
speak.” “Do you think Camila noticed?” Lauren asked her
nervously. Dinah waved her hand indifferently. “Don’t be
ridiculous.” Dinah reassured her. “Camila is literally oblivious.”
“Ok good,” Lauren sighed relieved. “Good?” Dinah asked
surprised by Lauren’s reaction. “Ithought you really liked her.” “I
 do,” Lauren told her. “It’s just, geez, she needs me right now as a
friend. There’s no way I’d want to jeopardise that.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trialsand-
tribulationschapter7 2/9 “Aw,” Dinah said, “You are so cute.” She
reached over and pinched Lauren’s cheeks teasingly before taking
on a more serious tone. “Thank you for what you just did for her
Lauren.” She said gratefully. “I haven’t seen Camila’s face light up
like that since before the accident.” Lauren smiled at Dinah’s
praise. “I totally trust you with her,” Dinah continued, “and that’s
really hard for me to admit because I’m pretty much suspicious of
everyone when it comes to Camila. Ijust don’t want anyone to
hurt her.” “Me neither,” Lauren reciprocated. “Guess what?”
Dinah said her voice hushed as though she was about to divulge
the biggest secret ever to Lauren. “I’ve actually got my fingers
crossed that one day you and Camila will get together and she’ll
feel about you the way that you so obviously feel about her.”
“You do?” Lauren asked surprised. “Yeah,” Dinah informed her.
“You’ve already given her so much that it’s only fair that you
eventually get something back.” Lauren felt her face redden even
more, her cheeks burning painfully. Dinah chuckled loudly. “Oh
my God,” She exclaimed. “Not like that, I mean, you know, a
relationship….girlfriends, like….ewww….nothing sexual. I don’t
want to be thinking about things like that…especially about my
best friend….I mean yes…nothing against it…do it…Itotally ship it,
just…please…I don’t ever want to hear about it…eww…” Lauren
 felt herself grow extremely hot and bothered at the thought of
her and Camila together. She cleared her throat, jumping up from
the bed hurriedly. “Umm, yeah ok, so subject change?” Lauren
asked hopefully. “Please,” Dinah pleaded, an awkward silence
falling between them at the unexpected route their conversation
had taken. Luckily, before either of them had to try and come up
with something else to say, Camila appeared in the doorway
carrying a handful of glasses. Ally and Normani appeared behind
her with a bottle of cola, a handful of DVD’s and a bag of popcorn.
“Look who turned up whilst I was in the kitchen,” Camila said as
she put the glasses on the floor. Normani eyed Lauren
suspiciously, taking in her friends crimson face and agitated
stance. “Everything alright?” she asked Lauren, narrowing her
eyes slightly. “Fine,” Lauren said swinging her arms back and
forwards, clapping them together. “Then why are you acting so
weird?” Normani asked as all eyes in the room turned to face
Lauren, including Camila’s. “I’m not acting weird,” Lauren said.
“I’m fine….perfect in fact.” Normani tilted her head slightly and
shared a look with Dinah who mouthed, ‘I’ll tell you later.’ “Don’t
you dare!” Lauren said noticing the exchange and causing the
other two girls to laugh. “What’s going on?” Camila asked clearly
feeling as though she was missing out on something. “Nothing,”
Lauren responded quickly. “Not a thing.” “O…k….” Camila said
drawing out the word. “Even I think you’re acting a little weird
now.” Lauren threw Dinah a terrified look and she gave her an
apologetic one in response. “Did I miss something?” Camila asked
when no one said anything. “What’s going on?” “Well,” Ally said,
drawing Camila’s attention away from Lauren long enough for the
girl to draw her finger across her throat in a blatant threat before
pointing at both Dinah and Normani. “Ugh, you see, the thing
is….” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trials-
andtribulationschapter7 3/9 “We thought you needed cheering
up,” Normani continued, “You know, after today so… we kind of
planned a surprise for you.” “Oh god,” Lauren groaned dreading
where this might be heading. “Really?” Camila asked with thinly
veiled eagerness. “You didn’t have to.” “We know we didn’t have
to,” Normani said, stressing the word and wrapping one arm
around Camila’s shoulders to pull her into a side hug. “We wanted
to because you’re our friend and you’ve had a crap day.” “Just for
the record,” Ally added. “You can always talk to us. You know
we’ll always be here for you.” Camila smiled at Ally’s words and
reached out to take one of the smaller girls’ hands in her own. She
squeezed it thankfully. “So….” Dinah said intrigued. “What’s this
surprise then?” “Oh!” Normani exclaimed. “Ok, so close your eyes
Camila.” “Are you serious?” Camila asked nervously. “Yeah,”
Normani said laughing. “Don’t worry I’m not going to pants you or
anything.” She winked at Lauren and the brunette thought she
might die of embarrassment. Luckily, it went unnoticed by Camila.
Lauren was really starting to appreciate her inability to read some
situations and pick up on subtle or in some instances not so subtle
 behaviours. Camila laughed, closing her eyes. “Ok, hold out your
hand.” Normani instructed, turning excitedly to Ally who pulled an
envelope out of her purse. Lauren looked at them in confusion
whilst Normani placed the envelope into Camila’s hands. “Right,
open your eyes.” She said excitedly. “Oh cool,” Camila said
looking at the object in her hands and not understanding. “An
envelope.” “Well open it,” Ally prompted. “Geez Mila,” Dinah
muttered. “Don’t you remember what an envelope is for? It’s to
put things in, duh?” “Right,” Camila said turning the envelope
over in her hand and opening the back up. “Of course, I knew
that. I did not assume that’s all I was getting.” Camila pulled out
the contents of the envelope, dropping one of the small
rectangular cards onto the floor due to the poor dexterity in her
left hand. It landed face up and Lauren saw what the girls had
given her immediately. “Oh my God,” Lauren exclaimed in
disbelief. “You’re giving her your Beyoncé concert tickets?!” “Wait
what?” Camila said as she bent down to pick up the one she’d
dropped. “Are you joking? I can’t accept these! You’ve been so
excited about going to see her next month!” “Tough,” Normani
said folding her arms across her chest defiantly, “because I’ve
given them to you now so you have to take them.” Camila held
out the tickets to her. “Ugh, no way.” She said. “I mean, it’s an
amazing thought, really, thank you but, I couldn’t take them.”
“Well, I’m not taking them back.” Normani replied standing her
ground. “So you have to go.” “I’ll go,” Dinah interrupted jokingly.
 Camila looked at her friend and frowned. “Dinah you’re not
helping.” “Sure she is,” Normani said. “See it’s perfect. I had two
tickets so you and Dinah can go together.” “What about you?”
Camila asked. “You’ve been dying to see Beyoncé live. It was all
you talked about for the entire day when your tickets turned up.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trialsand-
tribulationschapter7 4/9 “Yeah well,” Normani said waving her
hand dismissively. “I’ll catch her another time.” “Ally?” Camila
asked. “Hey,” Ally replied holding up her hands, “It’s nothing to do
with me. They’re Normani’s tickets and it was her idea.” “You’re
actually doing me a massive favour,” Normani told her. “I could
only get two tickets and I couldn’t decide who to take; Lauren or
Ally. Now I don’t have to choose. It’s a win all round.“ Camila held
the tickets back out to Normani trying to force them back into her
hands. “Camila please take them,” Normani told her. “I want you
to have them, really. You deserve something good after all the
crap you’ve been through.” Camila looked at Dinah, her eyes
asking a silent question. Dinah nodded in approval, knowing
exactly what Camila was thinking before she’d even spoken a
word. “I’ll only take them if you come with me,” Camila said
turning back to Normani. “Please?” Camila stuck her bottom lip
out pouting and Lauren almost felt her legs give out it was so
adorable. “Ugh, fine,” Normani relented laughing. “Geez, how do
you do that with your face?” Camila’s features broke out into a
wide grin. “It’s a talent,” she admitted before throwing her arms
 around Normani’s neck and hugging her excitedly. Ally clapped
her hands happily as she watched the two of them. “Thank you,”
Camila said gratefully. “This is seriously amazing. What did I do to
deserve you guys?” “You almost died after being hit by a car,”
Dinah said deadpanning. “Ithink the universe owes you one.” “Or
five,” Lauren concurred. “Get ready to booty pop Camila. I’ve
heard her show is amazing.” Normani informed her. “Oh, yeah,
no,” Camila replied. “I can’t dance.” “Oh,” Normani said. “Sorry, I
didn’t know. I guess I should have thought….” Dinah burst out into
the loudest laugh at Normani’s words, cutting them off. “What’s
so funny?” Ally asked laughing too, Dinah’s hysterics infectious.
“It’s not because of the accident Normani,” Dinah told the other
girl, her body physically shaking with her amusement. “She just
can’t dance. Why do you think she’s never come to dance class
with me? She has like no rhythm. She’s literally the most awkward
dancer I’ve ever seen.” “Oh,” Normani responded, bursting out
into laughter herself. “I can’t help it!” Camila protested. “I’ve just
never been good at dancing.” “It’s ok,” Normani reassured her.
“I’ll teach you.” “My stomach hurts from laughing so much,”
Dinah said clutching at her abdomen where a stitch was starting
to form. She rolled over slightly to make herself more comfortable
only to end up falling over the side of the bed with a thud onto
the floor. The rest of the girls burst out into laughter at her
predicament and Dinah, who found her misfortune even more
hilarious just laughed the harder for it. Once Dinah had finally
 managed to compose herself enough to climb back onto the bed,
the five of them settled down to watch some movies. Ally and
Normani sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, facing the TV fixed
to Camila’s wall opposite her bed, in the corner of her room.
Lauren lay on her stomach, her head at the end of the bed, resting
in the palms of her hands, propped up on her elbows. Dinah and
Camila sat together, their backs against the head board, Camila’s
head resting comfortably on Dinah’s shoulder. Their hands were
held together in Dinah’s lap and she was stroking the back of
Camila’s soothingly with her thumb as they watched the movie
Normani had brought with her, Easy A.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trialsand-
tribulationschapter7 5/9 “Ugh, I love Emma Stone,” Lauren
murmured as she appeared on screen donning a corset. “She’s so
attractive and hilarious. She’s my celebrity crush.” “Ithought Lana
Del Rey was your celebrity crush?” Normani asked. “She’s my
celebrity music crush.” Lauren stated. “Plus she’s my idol so
there’s that.” “Wait there’s different kinds of celebrity crushes?”
Normani asked turning her head around to look at Lauren. “Yeah,”
Lauren said frowning slightly. “Of course there is.” “Ok, so what
are the other kinds?” Normani asked. “There are loads,” Lauren
told her, ‘plus you can have multiple in each category.” She lifted
her head to count them off on her fingers. “Let’s see, there’s
musical crush, movie star crush, TV show crush, sports crush, TV
personality crush, Vlogger crush….” “Ok, ok,” Normani said
 laughing, “I get the point.” “Do you have any male celebrity
crushes?” Camila asked innocently. “I used to fancy Nick Jonas
before I realised I was a lesbian,” Lauren stated matter of factly.
“Logan Lerman as well actually.” “Wait, you’re a lesbian?” Camila
asked sounding surprised. “Yeah,” Lauren replied laughing. “Did
you seriously not know?” “No,” Camila answered honestly. Ally
and Normani turned to look at Camila disbelief on their faces.
“You’re kidding right?” Ally asked her, chuckling in amusement.
“Lauren is like, not subtle about it.” Normani said also laughing.
“The other day she was practically drooling over Miss Lovato at
school.” “Oh my God,” Lauren said, “I was not.” “Yes, you were,”
Normani rebuffed. “She’s totally your hot teacher crush.” “I really
like Miss Lovato,” Camila commented. “She’s been really nice to
me since I’ve been back at school.” “Yeah but you don’t fancy her
like Lauren does,” Dinah responded probingly. “Do you?” “Well,
no,” Camila replied. “I guess not.” “You know I heard a rumour
going around that Miss Lovato is somehow related to Demi,”
Dinah divulged. “Apparently she’s like her cousin or something.”
“Wait what?” Normani asked. “Where did you hear that?” “I
overheard someone talking about it at lunch once.” Dinah told
them. “I don’t know how true it is though.” “Well, I’m definitely
going to be looking into that theory some more,” Normani
commented. “Maybe she can get Demi to follow me on twitter?”
“Who’s your celebrity crush Camila?” Ally asked changing the
subject back to its original track. “Mine?” Camila questioned back.
“Yeah,” Ally confirmed. “I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. “I
haven’t really thought about it.” “You can’t think of one person?”
Normani asked her. Camila seemed to take a moment to think
about her next words before she replied. “Well, I don’t fancy
them but I really like Ed Sheeran, One Direction, Taylor Swift and
speaking of her, Demi Lovato.” Camila answered. “They’re not
celebrity crushes if you don’t fancy them though,” Dinah said
seriously. “They’re just people you idolize.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trialsand-
tribulationschapter7 6/9 “There’s not one famous person that
you’ve thought about kissing?” Lauren asked her interestedly.
“No,” Camila said. “Is that weird?” “A little,” Dinah replied. “Huh,”
Camila said thoughtfully. “What?” Ally asked. “I’m trying to think
if I did before the accident,” Camila responded. “You think it’s
related to your head injury?” Normani asked. “I don’t know,”
Camila admitted honestly. “I just don’t think about other people
like that. I can’t remember if I ever did before.” “You never
mentioned it to me if you did,” Dinah told her. “Ok well, what
about at school?” Normani asked eyeing Lauren meaningfully.
Lauren glared back at her silently pleading for her to not go down
this route. “Do you like anyone there?” Normani continued. “Ilike
you guys,” Camila said smiling. “Yeah but we’re your friends.”
Dinah said laughing. “I’d hope that you’d like us.” “Romantically, is
there anyone who catches your eye? Perhaps we can set you up?”
Normani asked eagerly. “Well, what about Lauren?” Camila
 countered. “She’s not seeing anyone, are you?” “What?” Lauren
asked her heart stopping in her chest. “Aren’t you going to try and
set her up too?” Camila clarified. The other girls gave each other a
significant look, each of their faces showing complete disbelief at
what they had thought Camila had been implying. “I’ve been
trying to set Lauren up for ages,” Normani told Camila. “She’s only
got eyes for one person. No matter how hopeless that seems.”
“Who?” Camila asked. “No one you know,” Lauren informed her
nervously, decidedly uncomfortable at where this conversation
was quickly going. Camila moved in the bed to lie on her stomach
alongside Lauren. She turned to look at her once she was
comfortable. “Do you love them?” Camila asked her earnestly.
“Well I don’t know about that,” Lauren replied, feeling extremely
exposed with her face so close to Camila’s. “She does,” Normani
said unhelpfully, earning her yet another glare. “What’s it feel like,
love I mean?” Camila asked enthusiastically. “I don’t know
Camila,” Lauren said running a finger through her hair. “It’s just a
crush really.” “Well, what does it feel like?” Camila asked
fascinated. “I’m like the only single person besides yourself here,”
Lauren commented. “Surely, these guys are better placed to
answer that question?” “Anyone can answer,” Camila said
glancing around at the others. Lauren took a moment to catch her
breath gratefully at the reprieve. “I don’t know,” Normani
answered. “I guess you think about them all the time.” “I always
want to speak to Troy when we’re not together,” Ally agreed. “It’s
 like the minute he’s not around I want to see him again.” “You
find things about them annoying,” Dinah said after considering
the question, “but, deep down you actually really like those
things.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trialsand-
tribulationschapter7 7/9 “You think everything about them is
perfect,” Lauren added. “Even those things that they don’t like
about themselves.” “You want to share everything with them,”
Normani said. “You know, like, if I’m out and see something I find
funny I’ll always want to tell Arin about it, even if it’s something
really ridiculous and small.” “You keep looking at them all the
time,” Dinah told her. “Even if it’s just a quick glance because you
think they’re the most attractive person you’ve ever met.” “I like
the way Troy makes me feel special,” Ally shared. “Like there’s
nowhere else he’d rather be than with me. How he’s always trying
to make me laugh and compliments me on the way Ilook.” “You
can’t help but smile when they’re around or you’re thinking about
them,” Lauren offered. “You smile so much that it makes your
face ache but in a good way.” Camila was lying on the bed, her
head propped up on her elbow watching the girls, a wistful
expression on her face. She turned her attention to Lauren and
smiled, their eyes meeting. Lauren smiled back at her. “Now I
really wish I had a crush on someone,” Camila stated dreamily. “It
sounds so nice.” “It sounds nice,” Lauren agreed. “It is actually
one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced in my life.” “It
 is,” Camila asked dropping her voice slightly incredulous. Lauren
looked at Camila’s soft lips, literally inches from her face and
swallowed hard before answering. “You have no idea,” she
answered. “Especially when the other person doesn’t feel the
same way,” Normani observed, giving Lauren an understanding
look. “You don’t tell the other person?” Camila asked. “No, you’d
tell the other person,” Dinah noted giggling, ‘because since your
accident, your brain has no filter and just says what its thinking,
although, I’m not a hundred percent sure that you didn’t do that
before as well.” “Surely it’s nice to know that someone likes you?”
she pressed. “It is,” Normani agreed. “It’s really nice.” “So why
wouldn’t you tell them?” Camila asked. “Because,” Lauren
started, “It’d be too painful if they didn’t feel the same way so you
protect yourself. You just admire them for a far hoping they’ll
come to the realisation that they like you too.” “That’s stupid,”
Camila said scoffing. “Maybe,” Lauren replied. “I’d love to know
someone liked me,” Camila said dreamily. “Especially now.”
“What do you mean especially now?” Ally asked. “You know, what
with my scars and everything?” Camila said. “What are you talking
about?” Dinah asked. “You’re still stunning you little idiot.”
“Besides,” Lauren started. “People might be attracted to someone
by their appearance initially but it’s the person they fall in love
with, all those little characteristics and quirks that make them,
well, them.” “If you really like someone, you like all of them.” Ally
concurred. “Well,” Camila said turning back to face Lauren. “I
think you should tell your crush how you feel. Perhaps they do like
you but they just haven’t realised it yet.” Lauren watched Camila
closely, their eyes locked together for a moment. She could feel
the eyes of the other’s in the room watching her as well, waiting
to see if she’d confess everything to Camila. How she couldn’t
stop thinking about her, how she was just wanted to be around
her all the time, to see her smile and hear her laugh. Laure tried
to http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60015766032/trialsand-
tribulationschapter7 8/9 read if anything was there, whether it
was some backhanded way of Camila telling Lauren that she knew
how she felt and wanted her to say it out loud. Lauren felt her
heart skip at the prospect but logic dictated that Camila really was
clueless to her attraction. From everything that she’d just said
Camila would be the first person to admit it if she had feelings for
Lauren or anyone for that matter. She tried not to look
disappointed as she said, “Maybe one day,” she said simply. “Not
today though?” Camila asked. “No,” Lauren confirmed. “Not
today.”
Chapter 8
“Ugh,” Lauren groaned as she dropped down into the empty seat
beside Camila in Monday’s homeroom. It had been four days
since the girls’ had gathered at Camila’s house for their regular
Wednesday night movie marathon. Four days and yet Lauren still
could not rid her thoughts of the conversation that had transpired
between them all. Most prominently featured in her mind were
 Camila’s words, “I’d love to know someone liked me.” Was there
ever a more perfect opportunity for Lauren to admit her feelings
for Camila? Lauren didn’t think so. In fact, she’d lived in a constant
state of regret since that night, visions of fictitious scenarios and
responses, all favourable, formulating in her head. It didn’t help
that Camila, who remained almost completely unaware of
Lauren’s ever increasing crush on her, managed to rub salt in the
constantly growing wound by unintentionally being an infuriating
paradox of adorable and sexy all at the same time. Every day
Lauren would find herself learning something new about Camila
and she soaked the information up eagerly like a sponge. She
wanted to know everything there was to know about this girl
who, only a couple of months ago she’d never even spoken to,
but, now, she couldn’t fathom her life without. “Ugh, back at
you,” Dinah replied jokingly. She was sat at the desk in front of
Camila, Ally beside her, in front of the seat Lauren now occupied,
and had looked up at hearing her somewhat dramatic entrance.
“What’s wrong?” Ally asked. “I’m just over today already,” Lauren
moaned resting both arms on her desk and leaning down to place
her head on top of them. “Why?” Ally asked. “What happened?”
“Well firstly,” Lauren said, turning her head slightly to look at the
girl in front of her. “I woke up late and had to skip breakfast so I’m
starving and then I get accosted in the corridor by Rachel
Murphy.” “Rachel? Your not so out of the closet exgirlfriend?” Ally
asked surprised. “The one and only,” Lauren said sitting back up
and sighing heavily. It was only then that she noticed that Camila,
her nose buried in a copy of Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’
was silently holding out a granola bar across the gap in the desks.
“Thanks,” Lauren said taking the snack gratefully and opening it
up. Camila didn’t answer, her attention focused intently on the
book in her hands and Lauren frowned slightly before turning
back towards Ally and Dinah as the latter girl asked teasingly, “Did
she push you up against the lockers?” “What? No,” Lauren
replied. “She asked me out on a date.” “So?” Ally asked. “What’s
the problem? I thought you only broke up with her because she
wasn’t ready to come out?” “Yes,” Lauren admitted, “but that was
then, you know, before….” Lauren flitted her gaze towards Camila
who remained enthralled in her book. She was biting her bottom
lip in http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60123054405/trials-
andtribulationschapter8 2/9 concentration and her brow was
furrowed. “So you’re going to pass on an actual relationship for a
nonexistent one?” Ally asked her. “Lauren…” “Don’t Lauren me,”
she remarked, leaning back in her chair a little so that it was
resting precariously on its back legs. “I don’t feel that way about
her any more. I haven’t even thought about Rachel at all since,
well, you know.” Ally glanced at Camila quickly before returning
her attention to Lauren. “What’s the harm in going on one date?”
Ally asked seriously. “It’s not like you’re getting anywhere with
your current crush. It might be fun. Maybe it’ll even help you to
get over it.” “I don’t want to get over it.” Lauren told them
 pointedly. “Yeah, but Lauren,” Dinah started. “You could be
waiting for something that never even happens?” Lauren glanced
at Camila and examined her closely. She was chewing the cuticles
of her left hand nervously as she read, a habit Lauren noticed she
adopted when she was feeling stressed. Underneath the desk
Camila’s right leg was bouncing up and down anxiously and she’d
not said one word to anyone since Lauren had sat down. “Ok,”
Lauren said a hint of concern in her voice. “What’s going on with
you Camila?” Camila ignored her and Lauren turned to look
enquiringly between Dinah and Ally who shrugged their shoulders
in response to her silent question. “Hey,” Lauren said, reaching
her hand over and placing it on Camila’s shoulder, making the
other girl jump and bang her knee on the desk. “Shit!” Camila
cursed, reaching down with her left hand to rub her right knee
furiously. “Are you ok?” Lauren asked her worriedly. “Yeah,”
Camila replied, finally lifting her gaze to turn her attention to
Lauren. Lauren examined Camila carefully. “I don’t believe you,”
Lauren told her honestly. Camila just looked at her for a moment
saying nothing. “I’m fine,” Camila eventually said, but Lauren
could tell she was lying; Lauren was getting so used to reading
Camila’s body language and what she didn’t say often spoke
volumes. “You’re lying,” Lauren said bluntly. “I’m not.” Camila
replied. “No?” Lauren questioned raising her eyebrow slightly in a
challenge. Camila dropped her gaze back to the now closed book
in her hands momentarily. “No.” Camila said simply. “Ok, even I
 could tell you were lying then?” Dinah told her. “Read me a
sentence from that book,” Lauren dared Camila knowingly. Camila
glanced back at the book in her hand and opened it randomly to a
page. She inhaled deeply glancing between the three girls’
watching her briefly. “The handful…” she started, “the
handful….of…..people……of people in…th…th…th… this……town.”
“Alright,” Lauren said placing her hand over the book and pushing
it down into the top of the desk. “Don’t hurt yourself.” Camila
gave Lauren a grateful look and closed the book, pushing it to the
side slightly out of the way. “Is it really so hard for you to admit
that you’re not ok?” Lauren asked her. “I thought we’d been
through this last week.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60123054405/trialsand-
tribulationschapter8 3/9 “You’ve been doing so much better as
well,” Dinah commented. “Your mood hasn’t been anywhere near
as low since you spoke to your therapist and they started you on
those antidepressants. I mean you’ve practically been bouncing
off the walls all weekend.” Camila reached her hand up to her
head and rubbed at her temple soothingly. “Another headache?”
Lauren asked her intuitively and Camila nodded. “Where’s your
medication?” “My locker,” Camila told her. “Do you want me to
get it for you?” Lauren asked her seriously. Camila nodded her
head in the affirmative. “Ok hold on,” Lauren said raising her hand
in the air to draw Miss Lovato’s attention. Miss Lovato who had
been talking to Benjamin Daniels, a member of the school
 marching band, in the front of the class made her apologies to
him approached where the girls were sitting. “Is everything
alright?” Miss Lovato asked Lauren whilst watching Camila out of
the corner of her eye. “Camila has a headache and her medication
is in her locker,” Lauren informed her. “Can I go and get it?” Miss
Lovato looked at Camila who was watching her closely, a slightly
dazed expression on her face. “Yes of course,” Miss Lovato said,
“just, let me write you a hall pass first.” Miss Lovato disappeared
to her desk briefly before returning with a small square of paper,
which she handed to Lauren, the youngster standing up to receive
it as she approached. “Thanks,” Lauren said hastily before
disappearing out the door in the quiet hallway. Miss Lovato took a
seat beside Camila in Lauren’s now vacant seat for a moment.
“You know, you don’t look very well Camila,” Miss Lovato noted
worriedly placing the back of her hand to Camila’s forehead. She
was surprised to find that Camila was neither hot nor clammy but
there was no denying that her face had taken on a slightly pallid
complexion. “Thanks,” Camila muttered lightly in response. “Did
you sleep at all last night?” Miss Lovato asked her. “Not really”
Camila said truthfully. Miss Lovato frowned in thought as Lauren
reappeared through the door holding Camila’s medication in her
hand. She popped the cap off the white container as Miss Lovato
vacated her seat and Lauren resumed it. Lauren leant closer to
Camila, placing a tablet in her already outstretched hand. Camila
swallowed it quickly as Lauren recapped the container and put it
 into Camila’s bag which was tucked away underneath her chair.
“Any better?” Dinah asked Camila who was resting her head in
her hand on a propped up elbow. “Wait….” she said raising a
finger on her right hand. “You’ve got to give it a minute to work,”
Lauren reiterated. “Camila you know what I’m going to say don’t
you?” Miss Lovato asked her seriously. Camila lifted her head and
gave a small nod in response. “You’re with me next period and if
it’s not better by then I’m sending you to the school nurse,” Miss
Lovato told her. “Ok,” Camila agreed. “Ok,” Miss Lovato repeated,
turning to head back to the front of class and continue her
conversation with Benjamin Daniels.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60123054405/trialsand-
tribulationschapter8 4/9 “You should have said something,” Dinah
voiced to Camila once they were alone again. “Ifinally thought
that you were getting more comfortable telling us about this
stuff.” Camila gave a thumbs up as she rested her head down on
the table in front of her and closed her eyes. “Camila are you even
listening to me?” Dinah asked anxiously. “Shhh….” Camila said
closing her eyes. “Ok,” Lauren said worriedly, reaching a hand
over to brush a strand of hair out of Camila’s face. “Ithink we can
all agree that this is not normal right?” “Agreed,” Ally and Dinah
replied in unison. “Hey,” Lauren said shaking Camila slightly on
the shoulder. “Camila, open your eyes….Camila….” Camila
swatted Lauren’s hand away. “Get off,” she said irritably. “Miss
Lovato!” Lauren called, standing from her chair. Everyone in the
 room turned their attention to the back where Lauren and the
rest of the girls’ were sat. At any other time she would have been
embarrassed for causing a disruption but on this occasion her
concern for Camila overwhelmed any other emotion she might
have. Miss Lovato came over hurriedly, sensing the fear in
Lauren’s voice. “Something really isn’t right,” Lauren told her
uneasily. “She’s never been like this before. At least not that I’ve
seen.” Lauren glanced at Dinah who was stroking the side of
Camila’s face with the back of her hand. “I’ve not either,” Dinah
confirmed. Miss Lovato placed a hand on Camila’s shoulder as
Lauren had done previously and shook her slightly. “Camila,” she
said firmly, repeating it a further time when all she got was a
groan in response. “Camila!” Camila made an attempt to swat
Miss Lovato away as she had done Lauren, but she managed to
catch Camila’s wrist in her hand and hold it still. Camila tried to
take it back, growing frustrated when it remained firmly held in
place. Finally, Camila lifted her head to look at the offending
restrained and tugged her wrist hard trying to shake it. Miss
Lovato examined Camila closely before turning to Ally and asking
her to go and get the nurse. Ally scared into action by the tone of
Miss Lovato’s voice practically flew out of her seat and
disappeared into the hallway without any consideration of the
request. “Camila,” Miss Lovato said, crouching down in front of
her and placing a hand on the side of her face, forcing the
youngster to look at her. She tried to pull her wrist free once
 more but Miss Lovato remained strong. “Hey, look at me,” Miss
Lovato instructed her soothingly. Lauren watched the exchange in
front of her, an eerie feeling of dread spreading throughout her
body. She was acutely aware that all eyes in the room were
watching the situation in front of them with interest, memorising
every detail for when they repeated it to their friends throughout
the course of the day. Camila finally met Miss Lovato’s eyes and
relaxed her arm slightly, prompting the teacher to release it from
her grasp. “Can you tell me where you are?” Miss Lovato asked
her. “Leave me… al…,” Camila said, ignoring Miss Lovato’s
question completely. “Camila,” Miss Lovato said, her hand still
fixed against the side of Camila’s face. “I really need you to tell me
where you are?” Camila made a move to stand up but either
thought better of it or couldn’t because she was soon sitting back
down in her seat.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60123054405/trialsand-
tribulationschapter8 5/9 Miss Lovato turned to Dinah, “I need you
to try alright?” she said encouragingly. Dinah nodded, moving her
chair closer to Camila’s desk and placing a hand on her arm.
“Mila,” Dinah said, her voice shaky and exhibiting her disquiet.
“Mila, its Dinah.” “Dinah?” Camila asked looking in Dinah’s
direction but seemingly not registering her. She reached up her
hand towards Dinah’s face, missing it by a mile. Dinah reached out
to grab Camila’s searching hand and held it to her face so that she
could feel it. “Mila,” Dinah said placing her other hand on the side
 of Camila’s face now. “Can you tell me where you are?” “I don’t
feel well,” Camila noted. “I know,” Dinah told her glancing at Miss
Lovato for help. Dinah felt completely at a loss for what to do and
Camila’s behaviour was scary her more than she’d like to admit.
“Talk to me though,” Dinah probed carefully. “What’s going on?”
Camila leant her head back down on the table and starting
banging it gently against the hard surface of the desk.
“Headache…” Camila said as Dinah placed her hand under
Camila’s forehead to stop her from hurting herself. Camila lifted
her head up and Dinah noticed that her eyes were glazed over.
“Lauren?” Camila asked reaching her free hand up to her right eye
and rubbing it heavily. “I’m right here,” Lauren said, coming closer
to Camila and positioning herself in front of the other girl. Camila
gave her a small smile before informing her, “My face…,” she
forced out. “Fe… feels…w…weird.” Camila rubbed at her face with
her hand, her eyelids heavy, eye’s unfocused. It was at that
moment that Ally reemerged with the school nurse who hurried
over when Miss Lovato gestured her towards Camila. “How long
has she been like this?” The nurse asked Miss Lovato, a
professional and calming tone to her voice. “About 10 minutes,”
Miss Lovato informed her. “She’s been complaining of a
headache.” The nurse studied the scars on Camila’s forehead and
the side of her head closely. “I need you to help me get her onto
the floor,” the nurse said seriously. Miss Lovato turned to get the
person occupying the desk beside Camila’s to make some room
 and seemingly realised that there was an avid audience around
her. “Ok everyone out,” Miss Lovato told them seriously. “Now.”
She said forcefully when no one moved. There was an explosion
of noise as chairs were scraped back against the floor and hushed
voices whispered as the made their way towards the door, Ally
followed them to it, shutting it closed behind the last vacating
student. “Dinah can you move these desks,” Miss Lovato asked
pointing behind her as she turned back to watch as the nurse
continued to examine Camila. Dinah did as she was bid, Ally
rushing over to help her. “What’s wrong with her?” Miss Lovato
asked concerned. “I think she’s having a partial seizure,” the nurse
said standing up and placing her arms firmly on Camila’s
shoulders. She gestured to Miss Lovato to take her legs and
together they manoeuvred Camila onto the floor. Miss Lovato
took off her jacket and placed it under Camila’s head before
glancing at the anxious faces of Dinah, Ally and Lauren who were
watching them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60123054405/trialsand-
tribulationschapter8 6/9 “Should I call an ambulance?” Miss
Lovato asked, allowing them to stay, knowing that any attempt to
make them leave would be futile. The nurse nodded, “Yes,” she
said as she tried to rouse Camila again who was laying with her
eyes closed mumbling incoherent words to herself. “Is she going
to be alright?” Lauren asked the nurse, fear gripping her insides
like a rabid dog tearing at a piece of raw meat. She wanted to do
 something to help but couldn’t, her whole body paralysed. “Has
she had a seizure before?” The nurse asked as Miss Lovato hung
up her mobile and crouched down beside the nurse. “No,” Lauren
answered, looking at Dinah for confirmation. “No,” Dinah verified.
“Never.” “She hasn’t fallen today or hit her head?” The nurse
asked. “No,” they all said in unison. “This is important girls,” the
nurse said seriously. “Are you sure?” “Positive,” Dinah told her. “I
stayed over at her house last night and have been with her all
morning. We had social studies together.” “You’re sure she’s
never had a seizure?” the nurse asked. “Yes,” Dinah said, “She’s
not epileptic.” As if on cue Camila’s whole body started to writhe
on the floor and the nurse quickly turned her onto her right side
as she twisted and contorted, her arms and legs twitching with
each horrific convulsion. “Ally,” Miss Lovato said casting a look
between each of the other girls’ standing around her and deeming
her the most functional, the other two watching aghast. “I need
you to go to Mr Lopez and ask him to come and redirect my next
class somewhere else ok?” Ally nodded in response, casting one
last look at Camila who was still writhing on the floor before
opening the door to come face to face with two paramedics, clad
in dark navy uniforms and carrying a large red bag and trailing a
trolley behind them. They hurried over to Camila as soon as they
were in the room and Ally watched them as the school
receptionist stepped around her. “Ally,” Miss Lovato prompted,
noting the huddle of students that were standing huddled in the
 corridor. Ally turned and disappeared and the receptionist
stepped into the room, closing the door slightly behind her to
prevent prying eyes. “Miss Lovato,” she greeted the teacher. “Is
there anything I can do?” “Yes,” Miss Lovato said gratefully. “I
need you to pull Camila Cabello’s file for me as quickly as you can
ok?” “Of course,” the receptionist said before vacating the room,
firmly closing the door as she left. “Dinah,” Miss Lovato said,
standing up and placing a hand on Dinah’s shoulder comfortingly.
Dinah didn’t respond, instead her eyes fixed on her best friend in
shock. “Dinah…” Miss Lovato said again and this time Dinah met
her gaze, swallowing hard. “Yeah,” she said. “I need you to call
Camila’s mom for me ok?” she asked, her voice level and clear.
“Just dial it and then hand it to me.” “Ok,” Dinah said glancing
back at Camila, who had now stopped convulsing furiously and
now lay twitching, the paramedics having given her an injection of
some kind. She had an oxygen mask over her face but her eyes
remained closed. Dinah reached into her pocket and pulled out
her phone, dialling the number and then handing it to Miss
Lovato. Miss Lovato groaned slightly as she was redirected to
voicemail but left a message to inform Camila’s mom that they
would be taking her to the hospital after confirming which one
with the paramedics.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60123054405/trialsand-
tribulationschapter8 7/9 She handed Dinah her phone back as the
paramedics moved Camila onto the trolley, strapping her in
securely and raising it up. “We’ll need a guardian to come with us
to the hospital,” the paramedic informed Miss Lovato. “That’s
me,” Miss Lovato said as Ally reappeared at the door with both
Mr Lopez and the school receptionist who was brandishing
Camila’s file. “Angelo,” Miss Lovato greeted him. “I’m going to
have to go to the hospital with Camila until her mom gets there.”
She told him. “Don’t worry I’ll get your classes covered.” He
responded immediately. “Thank you,” she said thankfully. He
turned and disappeared into the hallway, ushering teenagers
away from the door and out of sight as he left. “Here’s her file,”
the receptionist told Miss Lovato, handing her the manila folder.
“Thank you Sheila,” she said gratefully and she too disappeared.
“Can we come with you?” Dinah asked as the paramedics started
to move the trolley towards the door. Lauren waited hopefully,
her eyes never leaving Camila’s face. “Sorry girls,” he said
sincerely, “I only have room for one person on the rig.” Dinah put
her hand up to her mouth, holding back a sob. “Please?” she
begged. “I wish I could,” he told them as he moved Camila out
into the hallway. “Can you take care of the girls?” Miss Lovato
asked of the school nurse as she followed the paramedics. “Of
course,” she replied placing a hand on Dinah’s arm comfortingly.
“No wait,” Lauren said chasing after Miss Lovato as she passed
through the classroom door. “Please let us come.” “I know that
you’re worried ok?” Miss Lovato said with understanding, “but
you have to stay here.” Lauren didn’t even have time to protest as
 Miss Lovato disappeared into the hallway and out of sight. She
turned to face Dinah and Ally. Ally was standing alongside the
other girl, stroking her arms soothingly, her chin pressed to
Dinah’s shoulder. Lauren made her way over to them, her body
feeling numb, her brain and body in complete shock. If they
thought that she was going to stay at school the rest of the day
then they were sorely mistaken. Lauren planned on heading to
the hospital as soon as was feasibly possible. She shared a
meaningful look with Dinah and she could see she’d get no
objections from her. Screw school. Lauren thought to herself as
the nurse guided them all out of the and towards her office.Screw
everything. Some things couldn’t wait and Camila was one of
them.
Chapter 9
After vacating Miss Lovato’s classroom, Dinah, Ally and Lauren
had followed the school nurse back to her office where she’d
provided them all with what was possibly the most sugary drink
they’d ever had. In fact, it was so sweet, that Lauren had
convinced herself that if she had any more of it then necessary,
she’d start hallucinating rainbows and unicorns. The school nurse,
who, Lauren had been fortunate enough to avoid meeting
throughout the duration of her high school experience so far, had
informed them it was for the ‘shock’ and had told them to sit
down for a few minutes to regain their composure. Lauren had
almost snorted with derision at the comment, the thought of
 recovering her poise almost laughable when Camila was in
hospital, her condition unknown. Once they’d finished their
diabetic inducing drinks the nurse had given them each a hall pass
and note to explain their tardiness to their respective teachers.
The three of them had taken them hastily; eager to escape the
confines of the nurses’ office and discuss the situation and their
plans without prying eyes or ears. Finally alone in the abandoned
and somewhat eerily quiet hallway, the girls had made their way
to one of the nearby bathrooms. Dinah checked beneath the stall
doors, confirming it was empty whilst Lauren stood in front of the
door to prevent anyone from entering and disturbing their
discussion. “I’m going to the hospital,” Lauren stated simply. “I
don’t care if it’s the first time I’ve ever bunked off school. I need
to check that Camila is alright.” “What if we get caught?” Ally
asked nervously. “Who cares if we get caught?” Lauren
countered. “I don’t know about you Ally but seeing Camila like
that scared the crap out of me. I’m never going to be able to
concentrate this afternoon after seeing her like that.” “Me
neither,” Dinah agreed, her eyes still swollen and red from the
tears she’d cried at the distress of seeing her best friend in the
midst of a seizure. “They can’t expect us to stay here and pretend
that nothing’s happened?” “Exactly,” Lauren continued. “So, I’m
going.” She paused to look at Dinah, “Dinah, I assume that means
you’re coming too?” “Of course,” Dinah informed her. “If I could
have gone with her I would have. There’s nothing on this earth
that will keep me at here whilst she’s there.” “Ally?” Lauren asked
the shorter girl. Ally seemed to weigh up the decision in her head
before finally answering. “Screw it,” she said, nodding in Lauren’s
direction. “Let’s get out of here.” “I’ll drive,” Lauren told her as
they carefully made their way out of the bathroom and back into
the hallway. Carefully, the three of them navigated their way
through the deserted space, each one of them on the alert for
sign of a teacher or adult who might stop them in their tracks.
Lauren felt her heart racing in her chest, partly in nervousness at
her new found rebelliousness but mostly out of concern for what
they’d find when they got to the hospital.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60218380368/trialsand-
tribulationschapter9 2/9 Eventually, the girls managed to make
their way outside and into the fresh October weather. They
traipsed across the car park, the sound of leaves crunching
beneath their feet and a gentle breeze rustling the trees around
them. “What are we going to do about Normani?” Ally asked as
they arrived at Lauren’s car and she unlocked it. “She’s in class at
the moment,” Lauren said reasonably as she lowered herself into
the driver’s seat and closed car door behind her. “There’s not a lot
we can do.” Lauren put the key into the ignition as Dinah and Ally
fastened their seat belts. “I’ll text her and let her know what
happened,” Ally offered. “We can call her over lunch once we
know more.” Lauren started up the car as Ally pulled her phone
out of her pocket. She backed out of the parking space and
 moments later the three of them were on their way to the
hospital they’d overheard Miss Lovato say in the message she’d
left for Camila’s mom. “Your quiet back there,” Lauren
commented, glancing in her rear view mirror at Dinah who was
watching the world go by out of the car window. “Want to talk
about it?” Dinah met Lauren’s eyes in the mirror and smiled
gratefully. “Not really,” Dinah replied honestly. Lauren smiled
sadly in response to Dinah’s words and turned her attention back
to the road. “No you know what?” Dinah said her voice rising
angrily. “This sucks. It’s just one thing after another and it isn’t
fair.” Ally turned around in her chair and placed a comforting
hand on Dinah’s knee. “She’ll be alright,” Ally said optimistically.
“You’ll see.” “Yeah but for how long?” Dinah asked, not really
expecting nor wanting an answer. “This week it’s the seizure, last
week it was the low mood. She takes one step forward just to
take two steps back again.” She paused for a moment and
pounded the window beside her with her fist in frustration. “It’s
just not fair.” Lauren glanced at Dinah again in the mirror as the
other girl continued. “Somewhere out there, probably living in the
same neighbourhood as Camila, as us, is the asshole that hit her,”
Dinah vented furiously. “They’re probably going on with their life
right now like nothing happened, not even caring about the fact
that they left someone alone on the road to die.” Dinah glanced
out of the window again, crossing her arms in front of her. “In an
instant they changed Camila’s whole life,” she said her voice low
and dejected, the anger dissipating almost as soon as it had come.
“They don’t know what they put her through, what they put her
family and her friends through because, for them, nothing has
changed. Nothing.” “They’ll find the driver eventually,” Ally
offered. “They always do.” “Yeah,” Dinah said with disdain.
“Probably after he’s run down and killed some other unsuspecting
victim.” Dinah uncrossed her arms long enough to run her fingers
through her hair before returning them to their previous position.
“I hope that when the police finally do catch them, that they
throw the driver in jail for the rest of their life,” Dinah voiced after
a moment’s pause. “Then maybe they’ll finally understand what
it’s like to have your life stolen away from you, to take everything
you knew and flip it upside down so that you have to start all over
again.” “That makes two of us,” Lauren agreed, meeting Dinah’s
gaze once more in the rear view mirror as she turned right at a
junction. “Three of us,” Ally concurred as Lauren turned left into
the hospital car park and pulled up into an empty space. They
exited the car and Lauren locked it, turning to look up at the tall
white building across the large expanse of tarmac. Together the
three of them made their way to the hospital entrance, passing
people being escorted from one place to another in
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60218380368/trialsand-
tribulationschapter9 3/9 wheelchairs, an assortment of bandages
and dressing covering various parts of their bodies. “I don’t think I
can do this,” Dinah said, stopping in her tracks, her eyes studying
 a man who was sat in his wheelchair just outside the electronic
doors. One side of his head was obscured with large white, soiled
dressings, his right leg elevated on a footrest, the entirety of it
covered in plaster, from his thigh to his knee. Lauren turned to
take Dinah’s hand in her own and squeezed it reassuringly. “Dinah
its fine,” Lauren tried to sooth her, exuding a confidence that she
herself did not possess. “No I can’t,” Dinah said with a sense of
finality. “I can’t go back in there.” Dinah pulled her hand out of
Lauren’s and rested both her palms on the back of her head,
crouching down slightly to take a deep breath. “Just breathe, ok?”
Ally comforted, patting Dinah gently on the shoulder. “You can do
this.” “No I really can’t,” Dinah said, standing back up and turning
around, one hand on the back of her head and looking at the
entrance to the hospital once again. She lowered her head again,
crouching back down. “Are you going to be sick?” Lauren asked
concerned, crouching down beside her and brushing a strand of
hair out of her eyes. “I’m just a little nauseous.” Dinah admitted.
“Perhaps you should wait out here?” Lauren suggested. “Ally and
me can go and check on Camila then come back out and let you
know how she’s doing.” Dinah made her way over to a bench
nearby and sat down, hanging her head between her knees and
sucking in large gulps of air in an attempt to abate the panic she
felt. “Ok,” Dinah replied nodding slightly and feeling a little more
settled at the prospect of not having to venture inside the
building. “Yeah, Ithink that’d be best.” “Alright,” Lauren said
 patting her on the shoulder again and looking expectantly at Ally
who had sat beside Dinah on the chair, both hands draped around
the other girls shoulders in a supportive hug. “Ally?” she
prompted. “You go,” she told Lauren, meeting her questioning
gaze briefly before studying Dinah closely. “I’ll stay here with
Dinah.” “Are you sure?” Lauren asked her. “Yes,” Ally confirmed
and she picked up one of Dinah’s hands, entwining their fingers
together in a gesture of unity. “Ok,” Lauren said, “I won’t be long,
alright?” Lauren turned on her heels quickly and made her way
through the sliding doors at the entrance. She made her way
uncertainly to the reception desk and asked the kind looking older
woman sat behind it if she could direct her to Camila Cabello. The
receptionist studied the computer screen in front of her before
explaining to Lauren where she needed to go. Lauren followed her
directions resolutely, only coming to a stop when she spied
Camila’s mom standing a few feet ahead of her, talking to, what
she assumed to be a doctor. Lauren waited for their conversation
to end and the doctor to leave before approaching Camila’s mom,
the older woman spotting her just as she was about to go back
into a private room. “Lauren?” Sinu asked the youngster as she
finally caught up to her. “Hi,” Lauren greeted nervously. “What
are you doing here?” Sinu asked, “Shouldn’t you be at school?”
“We were with Camila when it happened,” Lauren began in an
attempt to explain her presence at the hospital. “We were
worried about her so we….kind of left.” “We?” Sinu asked
 confused.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60218380368/trialsand-
tribulationschapter9 4/9 “Ally, Dinah and I,” Lauren clarified.
“Dinah couldn’t face coming inside after….well, last time she was
here, so the others are waiting downstairs.” “You girls should
have called,” Sinu told her, not unkindly. “You could get in trouble
for being out of school.” “We don’t care,” Lauren told her. “We
just wanted to know that Camila was alright.” “She’s ok,” Sinu told
her offering a small smile and rubbing Lauren’s arm
encouragingly. “A little bit out of it still but she’ll be fine. They’re
hoping to send her home soon.” “Could we have done anything to
stop it happening?” Lauren asked. “No,” Sinu replied truthfully.
“Unfortunately it’s just one of those things. Did you see that man I
was just talking with?” Lauren nodded her head in response.
“Well,” Sinu went on. “That’s Camila’s neurologist. They did
another scan of her head after she was brought in, just to check
that there was no further bleeding or swelling from the accident.
He said everything was clear. That it’s exactly the same as her last
scan.” Lauren smiled at this news. “So, there’s no new damage or
anything?” she asked. “None,” Sinu informed her. “He said that
epilepsy can sometimes develop in people who’ve had head
injuries. Unfortunately there’s no way to know who could get it or
when it will happen. Sometimes it can take a while to develop.
Now that they know Camila has it, they can start her on some
medication to help try and prevent her having any more seizures
 in the future.” “It won’t stop them completely?” Lauren asked.
“Not entirely,” Sinu said, “but, it should stop them from
happening frequently.” Lauren sighed in relief. “So she’ll be ok?”
Lauren asked needing clarification. “In a day or so,” Sinu
explained. “She’ll probably be off school the next couple of days
whilst she recovers.” “Can I see her?” Lauren asked hopefully.
“Sure,” Sinu answered, laughing lightly. “It’s the least I can do
seeing as you risked detention to come all the way down here.
Just, don’t take anything she says to heart. She’s still postictal, so
she’s confused and disorientated at the moment.” Sinu pushed
the door to Camila’s room opened and gestured Lauren inside.
She felt Camila’s mom place a staying hand on her shoulder as she
passed and Lauren turned to face her. “Dinah’s waiting outside?”
Sinu asked. “Yeah,” Lauren informed her. “Ithink she’s a bit
freaked out being back here.” Sinu nodded sadly before telling
Lauren, “I’m going to go and get her, I won’t be a minute ok?”
“Ok,” Lauren acknowledged. “Whatever you do,” Sinu said
laughing a little, “don’t let her leave. She’s been trying to climb
out of bed since she came around.” “I won’t,” Lauren promised.
“If there are any problems, just, call the nurse.” Sinu told her
playfully. “You might need back up.” Lauren smiled at Camila’s
mom who gave her a small wave before disappearing down the
hallway to find Dinah outside. Lauren turned around and stepped
into the room, allowing the solid white door to close shut behind
her. She noticed Camila’s bed, positioned in the middle of the
 room immediately, a visitors chair by its side. There was a large
window overlooking the hospital car park and Lauren thought she
could see the sun reflecting off the top of her own vehicle from
where she stood.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60218380368/trialsand-
tribulationschapter9 5/9 Lauren saw Camila lying on her side in
the bed, her eyes were open, her face covered with an oxygen
mask. She was playing carelessly with the corner of her pillow,
seemingly oblivious to Lauren’s appearance. “Hi,” she greeted,
making her way over to the bed and lowering herself into the
visitors’ chair beside it. Camila propped herself up on her elbow
slightly to look at Lauren. “How are you feeling?” Lauren asked,
reaching for her hand and taking it in her own. “Tired,” Camila
admitted. “I’m not surprised.” Lauren noted squeezing Camila’s
hand slightly in her own. The fear that she’d felt earlier had
almost completely gone now that she was able to see Camila was
alright for herself. She studied her closely, noting the hospital
gown which didn’t quite cover her back, exposing the smooth skin
beneath it and her black bra strap. Camila had a slightly confused
expression on her face, her eyes still a little dazed and Lauren had
to fight the urge to lean down and kiss her gently on the
forehead. The bed engulfed Camila’s body so much that it made
her seem small in comparison. “Why?” Camila asked resting her
head back down on the pillow. “Because,” Lauren said. “You had a
seizure.” “Oh right,” Camila said staring at Lauren intently, causing
 the other girl to blush. “Where am I?” she asked after a moment.
“You’re at the hospital,” Lauren responded and despite thinking
better of it, she reached over with her free hand and stroked the
top of Camila’s brow soothingly. “Oh,” Camila said surprised.
“Why what happened?” Lauren smiled at how adorable Camila
was when she was confused. “You had a seizure.” Lauren
reiterated leaning her elbows onto the bed. “I did?” Camila asked.
“I’m afraid so,” Lauren told her. “I know you.” Camila stated. “I
sure hope so,” Lauren laughed before introducing herself. “I’m
Lauren.” “Lauren,” Camila said as though she was hearing the
name out of her own mouth for the first time. “Lau…ren….” “Your
mom said they’re going to let you go home soon,” Lauren
continued on in an attempt to make conversation. “Who?” Camila
asked. “The doctors,” Lauren said. “Doctors?” Camila asked. “I’m
at the hospital?” “Yes,” Lauren said. Her head was starting to spin
from the ever circling conversation. “Why what happened?”
Camila asked worriedly. “You had a seizure,” Lauren said calmly.
“Oh,” Camila replied simply. “Rubbish.” “You’re telling me.”
Lauren noted. “You’re Lauren.” Camila stated rather then asked.
“That’s right,” Lauren confirmed. “Are you a doctor?” Camila
asked her. “No,” Lauren said struggling to contain her grin. “I’m a
friend.” “Oh, ok.” Camila said. She went to scratch her nose, but
became confused when her finger collided with the plastic oxygen
mask rather than her flesh. She scrunched her nose up in
confusion before reaching her hand up and pulling the mask down
 so it was away from her face and hanging loosely by her neck
instead.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60218380368/trialsand-
tribulationschapter9 6/9 “You should probably keep that on.”
Lauren informed her, releasing Camila’s hand to try and help put
the mask back on. Camila moved her head out of the way,
grabbing Lauren’s hand with her own. “No Ifeel like I’m
suffocating with it on,” Camila said seriously. “Ithink it’s supposed
to do the opposite.” Lauren said raising her eyebrow teasingly. “I
don’t need it.” Camila responded. “Ithink the doctors might
disagree with you,” Lauren argued. “Doctors?” Camila asked.
“Yes,” Lauren reiterated again. “You’re in the hospital Camila.”
“The hospital?” she said and just as Lauren thought it, continued.
“Why what happened?” Lauren chuckled placing her forehead
against Camila’s for a moment as she laughed before sitting back
slightly again. “You had a seizure.” Lauren told her. “You don’t
remember?” “No,” Camila answered truthfully. Camila moved her
head on her pillow slightly and mete Lauren’s gaze, her eyes
burning into Lauren and causing her to blush. She could feel the
heat rise in her cheeks as Camila said, “You have really nice eyes.”
Knowing that Camila would unlikely remember any of this later
and still regretting her decision not to share her feelings with her
when the opportunity had arisen last week Lauren thought, what
the hell and answered, “Yeah well, you have an amazing smile.”
Camila’s features broke out into a face eating grin at that and
Lauren felt her own face match it. “Yeah,” Lauren said, “that’s the
one. You should do it more often.” “You’re really pretty,” Camila
said lifting one of her hands and prodding the end of Lauren’s
nose with her fingertip lightly. “You’re strongest person I’ve ever
met,” Lauren told her seriously. “Why?” Camila asked confusion
on her face once more. “What happened?” Lauren didn’t want to
bring up the accident, not knowing how much Camila
remembered about it at this point and not knowing the details of
it herself except for what Dinah and Camila had shared with her,
so she returned back to her, by now, wellrehearsed response.
“You had a seizure,” Lauren informed her. “You’re in the
hospital.” “Oh,” Camila said. “Ok.” Lauren frowned at Camila for a
moment, wondering how long this endless loop of questioning
would go on for and growing concerned that it might not resolve.
Laurens thoughts were interrupted when Camila reached her
hand forward and cupped Lauren’s chin, holding it still so that
their eyes met once more. “You have really nice eyes” Camila said
again and Lauren felt her body react to the way Camila bit her
bottom lip and the prolonged contact of her eyes with her own.
Lauren felt her face grow even hotter as Camila leaned closer to
her. “They’re really green,” Camila noted, examining them closely.
Lauren put her hand on top of Camila’s and guided it back down
to the bed, away from her face. “You’re really pretty,” Camila
went on, her thoughts taking the same path from moments ago.
“Who are you?” Lauren sighed, a small smile playing on her lips.
 “I’m Lauren,” she informed her once again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60218380368/trialsand-
tribulationschapter9 7/9 Camila reached out to touch Lauren’s
face again, a curious expression on her own like she was trying to
figure something out. Lauren stopped her hand in its track, her
body craving the contact once again, but, her brain telling her that
this wasn’t right, that Camila was vulnerable and confused. That
she shouldn’t take advantage. “Lauren,” Camila said, enjoying the
sound of the name on her lips. “Lauren… Lauren….Lau…ren”
Camila moved her hand in Lauren’s grasp and she released it
obligingly allowing the other girl to move it towards her face
where her fingertips brushed lightly against her lips. “You have
really nice eyes.” Camila said seemingly mesmerised by Lauren’s
emerald coloured orbs. “So do you,” Lauren replied, causing
Camila to smile at the compliment. Every nerve in Lauren’s body
felt like it was on fire and her breath hitched in her throat. She
averted her gaze, clearing her throat as she did so in an attempt
to clear her head and distract Camila again. She returned her
attention back to the other girl, who had once again propped
herself up on her elbow in the bed and was looking at Lauren
intently. “Camila….” Lauren started but her words were soon cut
short when Camila’s lips came crashing against her own in a
chaste kiss. What little breath Lauren had had left in her lungs
escaped her lips in a low moan and her skin, which had felt like it
was on fire only moments ago, raged in flame like the inferno she
 would probably find when she went to hell for kissing someone,
who, had very little volitional control of what they were doing.
Camila’s lips felt warm and soft against her own and Lauren
closed her eyes reflexively, her hands making no move to
separate the two of them. In her defence, the kiss had taken
Lauren by surprise but, still, she did not push Camila away, didn’t
even attempt to part them, her heart winning over her head in
the never ending battle between them. After what seemed like an
eternity but, in reality was probably only seconds, Camila pulled
back, a big grin on her face and Lauren raised her hand to touch
her lips, the burn of Camila’s presence still lingering on them.
“Wow,” Lauren said feeling slightly disorientated herself. Camila
frowned as she looked at Lauren. “Who are you?” Camila asked
resting her head back down on the pillow. “I’m yours.” Lauren
said without thought, every part of her knowing the words to be
true even as she acknowledged them.
Chapter 10
For the next few minutes Lauren repeated the dizzying cycle of
informing Camila where she was and what had happened to her.
For Camila’s part, she continued with the forthright compliments
of Lauren’s eyes and various other features, attempting on more
than one occasion to kiss her again. Apart from the first attempt,
which had caught Lauren completely off guard, Camila had only
managed to kiss her on one other occasion, when, awkwardly, she
was asking Lauren once more, if she were her doctor. Otherwise,
 Lauren’s logic and reason had finally won out over her heart and
she had managed to move her face out of the way, with, she’d
admit, a great deal of selfcontrol and difficulty. Soon, the two of
them had been joined by Ally and Dinah after Camila’s mom had
obviously been able to assure the latter that Camila was fine and
that she should see her. After they’d entered the room, Dinah had
rushed to Camila’s bedside, embracing the smaller girl in a
massive hug, her eyes moist with tears. Camila’s mom watched
the interaction from where she’d stood at the door, a sad smile
on her face. “What did we literally just talk about last week?”
Dinah asked Camila, her arms still enveloped around her body
tightly. “I don’t remember,” Camila answered truthfully. Dinah
kissed her on the head softly and laughed a little at her response.
“I told you I never wanted to sit by your hospital bed again,”
Dinah replied, finally releasing Camila from her grip and wiping a
tear from her cheek with her left hand. “I’m in the hospital?”
Camila asked her. “Yeah Mila,” Dinah told her. “You had a
seizure.” “Oh….” Camila replied. “Ok.” Dinah looked questioningly
at both Lauren and Camila’s mom, raising her eyebrow in
confusion. “She’s still postictal,” Sinu told Dinah in way of an
explanation. “She’ll be confused for a little bit whilst the irritation
to her brain settles down.” “She’s been like it the entire time I’ve
been sitting with her,” Lauren explained to Dinah. “She asks
where she is so I tell her, then, a minute later she’ll ask me the
exact same question again like it’s the first time.” “Oh,” Dinah said
 in response, a mischievous glint in her eye. “So we could tell her
anything and she’d not remember it a minute from now?” “Pretty
much,” Lauren informed her. “Interesting.” Dinah said a small
smile creeping onto her lips. “Very interesting.” Dinah gave
Lauren a knowing look and she couldn’t help the blush that
spread across her face as a result. For the next twenty minutes,
Ally, Dinah and Lauren continued to sit with Camila and her mom
in the small sterile hospital room, Sinu asking Lauren whether
Camila had given her any trouble whilst she’d been speaking to
Dinah downstairs.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 2/13 “Nothing that I couldn’t handle.”
Lauren replied smiling at the recollection of how Camila’s lips had
felt on her own. “I’d be grateful for that if I were you,” Sinu
laughed. “She was being a right pain before you arrived. She was
trying to clamber out of the bed to get a pizza, of all things. I
swear, my daughter is always thinking about her stomach.”
Lauren glanced down at Camila who had fallen asleep on the bed,
her face almost completely obscured by the pillow it was buried
into. The four remaining occupants of the room had continued to
talk amongst themselves until Camila had woken up, pushing
herself up from the bed slightly to look around at them. She
reached her left hand up to her eyes and rubbed them sleepily
before placing it firmly against her forehead, closing her eyes as
she did so. “Where am I?” she asked her eyes opening again to
 look around the room. “You’re at the hospital Camila?” Sinu told
her patiently. “You had a seizure.” Camila looked at the faces
around her once again, her eyes narrowing uncomfortably as
though in pain. “When?” Camila asked. “I don’t remember.”
“During homeroom,” Dinah told her for what was probably the
fourth time since she’d come inside. “You managed to scare the
crap out of everyone,” Lauren said casually. “Good job.” She
added jestingly. “I have a really bad headache,” Camila noted,
closing her eyes again and rubbing at her temple soothingly.
“That’s because you had a seizure,” Sinu told her one again. “I
know I had a seizure.” Camila said somewhat annoyed. She
opened her eyes to look at her mom. “You do?” Sinu asked her
surprised. “Yes,” Camila replied, “Of course I do, you just told me
two minutes ago.” Camila glanced around the room and noted the
stunned expressions on everyone’s face. “I know my memory is
bad since the accident but it’s not that bad.” “Huh,” Sinu said, “I
think I should probably get your doctor to come and see you.” She
finished, standing from where she sat on the edge of Camila’s bed
and disappearing through the door. A few minutes later Camila’s
mom returned, the same doctor Lauren had seen her talking to
earlier in tow. The doctor reviewed Camila thoroughly, asking her
questions about her name, date of birth and whether she knew
what day and date it was. He informed the assembled group that
Camila was coming out of her postictal state and that once her
medication was ready she’d be able to go home. “Thank God,”
Camila said in response. “I just want to go to sleep in my own bed.
I’m so exhausted.” The doctor smiled at her momentarily before
excusing himself and disappearing into the crowded hospital
hallway to review another patient. Lauren turned to look at
Camila after watching the doctor leave and noticed her pushing
her tongue firmly into her cheek, wincing as she did so. She stuck
it out, trying her hardest to catch a glimpse of it but failing
miserably. “My tongue really hurts,” Camila noted finally giving
up. “It probably will for a while,” Sinu told her. “You managed to
bite a massive chunk out of it.” “Ouch,” Camila said, “That’s kind
of gross.” Lauren, Dinah and Ally laughed at her, Dinah elbowing
her gently in the rib. “Yeah well you are kind of gross.” Dinah told
her still chuckling. “Why is everyone laughing?” Camila asked her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 3/13 “Well,” Dinah started. “It’s just nice to
be able to have an actual conversation with you for a change.”
Camila looked at Dinah questioningly. “You’ve pretty much been
repeating yourself since you came around.” Dinah informed her.
“What did I say?” Camila asked panicked. “Was it embarrassing?
Was it rude?” “Extremely,” Dinah teased her. “Oh god,” Camila
replied looking at the others in the room. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t
know what I was saying…I hope I didn’t offend any of you.” “Don’t
worry Camila,” Lauren said punching Dinah lightly on the arm.
“She’s messing with you.” “Really?” Camila asked stricken. “You
promise?” “I promise,” Lauren told her. “Dinah’s only just got
here.” Camila visibly relaxed at Lauren’s words and she felt herself
smile happily that she was able to help with that. Together the
five of them waited until Camila’s discharge papers and
medication were ready. Once the nurse had bought them to
Camila’s mom, explaining the dosage for her medication, Camila
got dressed in the bathroom and the girls’ helped her into a
wheelchair. Together they transported Camila down to the
hospital entrance, Lauren pushing the wheelchair whilst Ally and
Dinah walked alongside it, talking animatedly. They helped Camila
to her mom’s car and waved as it pulled out of the parking lot to
take her home. Before leaving, Sinu had kindly asked Ally, Dinah
and Lauren to let Camila to spend the rest of the day recuperating
but, she had told them that they were more than welcome to call
her later to check in or come around tomorrow after school if
they wanted. After they’d watched the car round the corner and
disappear out of sight the girls’ made their way back to Lauren’s
car and got in, debating what to do next. Ally suggested that if
they hurried, they would be able to make it back to school for fifth
period and Lauren and Dinah had agreed, the two of them feeling
as though they’d had enough teenage rebellion for the day and
would now be better placed to finish classes knowing that Camila
was alright. Ally had made sure to call Normani en route, the
remaining member of their group still at lunch. Ally explained
everything that had happened and could audibly hear the other
girls’ relief at the news that Camila was now on her way home
 with her mom to get some rest. A few minutes later they arrived
back at school and having already missed the warning bell,
separated hastily to attend their separate classes. The rest of the
school day passed slowly, and Lauren was thankful when the final
bell sounded and she could leave to go home. She felt both
emotionally and physically drained, the day seeming endless and
taxing. Later that night, Lauren lay on her bed, thinking about
Camila and the innocent kisses that they’d shared. Her heart
swelled at the memory of Camila’s soft lips on her own and
Lauren raised her fingertips to the spot where’d they’d touched,
her own lips tingling in response to the recollection. Lauren rolled
over onto her stomach, picked up her mobile phone and
attempted to call Camila. She felt a surge of disappointment as
she was connected to Camila’s generic preprogrammed voicemail
and disconnected the call without leaving a message, presuming
the other girl to be sleeping. Eventually, Lauren climbed into her
own bed, her body relaxing beneath the covers almost
immediately. As she lay there her thoughts remained on Camila,
as they always seemed to when she fell asleep at night, and
Lauren puzzled over whether Camila’s words during her postictal
period had been true thoughts, finally expressed due to a lack of
disinhibition or pure confusion. The mystery still remained
unanswered as Lauren drifted off to sleep. The next day, if
possible, passed by even slower than the previous one and Lauren
found herself missing Camila’s presence immensely. She’d grown
 so accustomed to seeing Camila during homeroom and at lunch
that it seemed strange to glance over and find the seat she
normally occupied empty. As the day progressed, Lauren found
herself becoming more and more eager for the day to end, her leg
bouncing up and down in agitation during her afternoon classes,
her pen tapping impatiently on the desk in front of her. This
afternoon, Lauren was going to visit Camila at home, taking get
well soon messages and apologies from Ally, who was having
dinner with Troy’s family, and both Dinah and Normani who had
dance class this evening and would not be able to go with her. If
Lauren was completely honest, she was looking forward to
spending some time
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 4/13 alone with Camila, which, she thought,
probably had something to do with her current state of
annoyance at the seemingly sluggish passage of time. When
school eventually ended, Lauren practically ran to her car and
jumped in hastily, managing to escape the normal congestion at
the entrance. Lauren made a quick stop at the local shops on the
way to Camila’s house and picked her up some snacks and
magazines before completing the journey in what was probably
record time. Sinu greeted Lauren warmly when she answered the
door to her eager knock. She informed Lauren that Camila was
upstairs but warned her that she’d been in a relatively bad mood
today so may not be receptive to company. Lauren thanked Sinu
and headed upstairs. She paused in Camila’s doorway and smiled
when she saw Camila sat up in bed, enveloped in the covers of the
duvet set and wearing her pyjamas. Sofi, her younger sister, lay
beside her cuddled into her side and Camila had her left arm
draped around the youngster’s body protectively as they watched
an old episode of the Powerpuff Girls on TV. Lauren waved to
Camila as she came into the doorway and the other girl smiled in
response. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone today,” Camila said
as Lauren made her way over to the bed. “Ithought everyone was
busy?” “Everyone except me,” Lauren told her, placing the bag in
her hands on the floor beside the bed and sitting down on
Camila’s right side. “So you’re staying?” Camila asked uncertainly.
“Well, you’re mom said that you might not be up to visitors,”
Lauren said, a hint of a question in her voice. “No please stay,”
Camila almost pleaded. “Are you sure?” Lauren asked her. “Yeah,”
Camila replied assuredly. “It’s so boring being stuck in the house
all day. I remember why I was looking forward to returning to
school so much.” “Ok,” Lauren said, a small smile gracing her lips,
“but let me know if you’re getting tired and I’ll leave alright.”
“Alright,” Camila promised. “I will.” She patted the space beside
her on the bed and Lauren quickly kicked off her shoes before
climbing to occupy it. She sat next to Camila on top of the duvet,
her back resting against the head of the bed so she could see the
TV. Out of the corner of her eye, Lauren could see Sofi eyeing her
curiously and turned to greet her. “Hi,” Lauren said smiling
 brightly. “I’m Lauren.” She told the youngster. Sofi, embarrassed,
hid her face into Camila’s side shyly. “Sofi,” Camila scolded
playfully. “Don’t be rude.” “It’s fine,” Lauren told Camila laughing
at Sofi’s endearing bashfulness before turning her attention back
to the TV. “So,” Camila asked nervously after a moment. “How
was school?” Lauren looked at Camila searchingly, finding an
unasked question in her dropped gaze. “Same old,” Lauren said
flatly, not wanting to tell Camila that pretty much the whole
student body had been talking about what had happened to her
yesterday. “Lauren?” Camila prompted, lifting her gaze to meet
Lauren’s piercing green eyes and sensing the evasion. “Ok fine,”
Lauren conceded. “You may have come up in a couple of
conversations. Don’t let it make you big headed though….you’re
hardly famous.” Lauren tried to joke but Camila wasn’t appeased.
“Was it really bad?” Camila asked her. “No not really bad.” Lauren
told her. “I mean it could have been worse.” “How?” Camila asked
her seriously.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 5/13 “Well, you could have peed yourself.”
Lauren replied playfully. Camila laughed recollecting Normani’s
story of how Lauren had done just that in elementary school.
“You’re lucky you’ve got bladder control.” Lauren said jokingly,
“Unfortunately, because I do not, I still hold the record for most
embarrassing moment at school.” “It’s not a competition.” Camila
said lightly. “I beg to differ.” Lauren told her. “It’s the only
accolade I have so you’re going to have to pull out all the stops to
take it from me.” “Well give it a week,” Camila said chuckling in
the way which made Lauren’s heart flutter quickly in her chest.
“I’m sure I can manage it.” “How are you feeling anyway?” Lauren
asked with genuine concern, her voice taking on a more serious
tone. “Dinah said you weren’t doing so well when she spoke to
you this morning.” “Just for future reference,” Camila noted
earnestly. “If you’re ever considering epilepsy as a medical
condition. Don’t. I literally ache all over, I feel exhausted and I still
have a banging headache.” Camila paused for a moment to stick
her tongue into the side of her cheek. “Oh and I’m missing a
massive chunk of my tongue.” She concluded. “That’s why we’re
having quiet time,” Sofi informed Lauren, watching the interaction
between the two older girls’ intently and finally finding some
confidence. “Right,” Camila said looking back at Lauren. “I’m sorry
you’re feeling so bad,” Lauren told her, reaching over the bed to
pull the bag she’d bought up off the floor. “I bought you some
magazines and stuff though. Ithought that they might cheer you
up.” “You didn’t have to,” Camila said visibly touched by the
gesture. “I know, but I wanted to.” Lauren told her. “Thanks.”
Camila said, placing the bag on the bed beside her and pulling out
a packet of Red Vines which she wasted no time in opening.
“These are my favourite,” she noted excitedly offering the now
open pack to Lauren. Lauren waved them away, “No thanks,” she
said. “I’m good.” They sat together for a while, the three of them
watching the TV until Sinu came in to get Sofi who she had to take
to her ballet lesson. Lauren waved at Sofi as she left the room, the
younger girl hiding her face with her hands and wrapping herself
around her mom’s legs. “So will you be back at school
tomorrow?” Lauren asked Camila once they were alone. “We
missed you today.” “I don’t know,” Camila answered honestly. “It
depends how I feel. If I still feel like this I’ll probably stay home. As
much as I would love to come back to school, I don’t think I could
until I’m one hundred percent….” She paused for a moment
considering her words. “Well, actually, the eighty percent that I
was before the seizure at least.” “Is there anything I can do to
help?” Lauren asked with interest. “You can do one thing,” Camila
told her, meeting her eyes. “Ok,” Lauren said her cheeks blushing
under Camila’s scrutinizing gaze. “Name it.” “I’m sick of talking
about myself,” Camila said, “What’s going on with you?” “Hmm,
let me think,” Lauren starts, placing a hand on her chin. “Well,”
she went on, my dad just go a promotion at work.” Lauren told
her. “He wasn’t expecting it at all so he’s really happy because it
means more money and better insurance. He is going to take the
whole family out for dinner on Thursday to celebrate.” Lauren
paused for a moment to think some more. “Oh,” she said as if
remembering something. “I subscribed to club penguin,” she
informed Camila, a wide grin on her face. “You didn’t?” Camila
asked. “I did,” Lauren laughed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 6/13 “You’re such a dork.” Camila chuckled.
“I am,” Lauren admitted proudly, running a hand through her hair.
“Ok….what else is going on with me? Ooh, ok,” Lauren started
eagerly, “so the big news that you missed yesterday because you
were too busy having a seizure to listen to my complaints, is that
my newly out of the closet exgirlfriend asked me out.” “That’s
good isn’t it?” Camila asked her. “I mean, did you say that you
only broke up because she wouldn’t admit she was a lesbian?”
“Well, yeah,” Lauren admitted, “but that was then and this is
now.” “So, you’re not going to go back out with her?” Camila
asked uncertainly. “No,” Lauren replied. “I mean, don’t get me
wrong, Rachel is really nice and everything but, I don’t feel that
way about her anymore.” Lauren dropped her gaze for a moment,
playing with her fingers nervously in front of her. “I’m interested
in someone else,” Lauren went on looking at Camila who was
watching her attentively. “It wouldn’t be fair to me or Rachel if I
agreed.” “Oh,” Camila said smiling. “Your secret crush?” “Yes,”
Lauren answered returning the smile. “Don’t you think it’s kind of
stupid to say no to someone who actually wants to date you when
you’re not doing anything to pursue the person that you really
want to be with?” Camila asked her lightheartedly. “What makes
you think I’m not doing anything to pursue them?” Lauren asks
flippantly, a deep chuckle escaping her lips. “Maybe I’m just being
really subtle about it, you know, playing hard to get. Perhaps,” she
said holding her finger up to stop Camila from interrupting, the
 other girls’ mouth opening to speak. “Perhaps,” she repeated
before continuing, “I’m making them fall for me a little bit at a
time without them even realising it. I know it’s risky, but, if it
works, it’ll be worth it.” “I thought love was supposed to be
instantaneous and all consuming,” Camila stated. “You know, like
lighting a match coated in gasoline…” “Only in the movies,”
Lauren told her, noticing the disappointed look which played on
her features. “What you’re thinking of is attraction.” Lauren
continued. “That’s immediate, but love…love is slow burning.
You’re attracted to a person for the way that they look but, you
love them for who they are, for the little things which make them
unique.” She paused for a moment to simplify it for Camila.
“You’re attracted to what’s on the outside,” Lauren told her, “but,
you love them for what’s on the inside.” “I wish I knew what that
felt like,” Camila responded, her voice wistful. “You will one day,”
Lauren told her, hoping privately that it would be her that inspired
those feelings in Camila. “How do you know?” Camila asked. “I
mean, I don’t think about people like that…at all. What if the
accident has damaged that part of my brain? What if I never fall in
love?” Lauren smiled sadly, placing a comforting hand on Camila’s
shoulder. “You love with your heart Camila,” Lauren said, truly
believing her words. “Not your head.” “No, but…” Camila started.
“Trust me,” Lauren interrupted. “You love despite what your head
tells you, not because of it.” Camila looked at Lauren doubtfully
but didn’t question her words any further, instead climbing off the
bed quickly to pull a notebook and pen off her desk. She clambers
back onto it, lying on her stomach so that her feet were resting
against the wall, her head at the foot of the bed. Lauren mimicked
her position, lying down beside her. “What are you doing?” she
asked in confusion. “I’m writing your crush a note,” Camila
informed her, opening her notebook to an empty page and
readying her pen.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 7/13 “What?” Lauren asked in disbelief. “I
told you I had a plan. Don’t mess with it. You’ll throw me off my
game.” “I’m not going to post it or anything,” Camila reassured
her. “I don’t even know who it is but, it’ll be good handwriting
practice for me.” She told Lauren, “plus, it’ll help you to
appreciate your feelings for her so that you finally decide to ask
her out.” Camila smiled as she said this, truly believing that her
method would help Lauren to move forward with her crush, little
knowing that it was her. “Besides,” Camila comments laughing to
herself, “this way, I can live vicariously through you. I think we
both know that I’m destined to grow old alone, with like, twenty
cats. I’m too antisocial and weird to be in a relationship.” “You’re
not antisocial.” Lauren reassured her, watching her closely for a
moment. “You are a little weird though.” She joked, laughing.
Camila laughed but didn’t say anything, instead choosing to just
stare at Lauren until she finally relented. Lauren felt slightly self-
conscious about discussing her feelings for Camila, with, well,
 Camila but she saw the bright smile it produced on her features
and knew that it meant a lot to her. By discussing this with Camila,
it provided a welcome distraction from her own problems and
allowed her to feel as though she was being useful in some way,
something which she hadn’t felt for a long time. “Ok,” Lauren said
groaning slightly. “What are we doing here cupid?” Camila smiled
and sticking her tongue out, her face screwed up in concentration,
started to write on the notebook page before her. Lauren
watched her and scrutinised the writing once she’d paused, her
eyes focused on Lauren’s face as she scanned her barely legible
script. “Can you read it?” Camila asked hopefully. “Kind of,”
Lauren said taking a closer look. “It says,” Camila began reading
her own work back to Lauren, “To my secret crush, I’m too shy to
tell you who I am so instead I thought I’d write you a note. I’ve
listed the reasons that I like you below, because, although I can’t
bring myself to tell you face to face, I think it’s important to know
that you are special to someone and the reasons why:” Lauren
smiled at Camila’s adorable words as the other girl wrote the
number one in the margin and waited expectantly for Lauren to
say something. “Wow, alright,” Lauren said scooting closer to
Camila. “Number one,” she paused to look at the side of Camila’s
face. Her tongue was sticking out between her teeth, her pen
poised over the page awaiting Lauren’s next words with
anticipation. “You’re one of the sweetest people that I’ve ever
met.” Camila scrawled the sentence onto the page and waiting
 after writing the number two in the margin below. “You’re
beautiful on the inside and the outside even though you don’t
think you are,” Lauren said, resting her head on a propped up
hand, her attention completely focused on Camila who was
grinning widely. “You have great taste in music,” Lauren
continued once Camila had written the number three, “and you
work hard every single day without complaint.” Lauren paused for
a moment to allow Camila to catch up. “Number five,” Lauren
went on, “You’re passionate about the things you love and
unapologetic for liking the things that you do. You’re laugh is
infectious,” Lauren continued, finding her rhythm, “and you’re
eyes are captivating, I feel like I could lose myself in them for
hours and never get bored.” Camila paused to glance at Lauren
who averted her gaze to the page quickly to hide her blatant
staring. “What else?” Camila prompted when Lauren didn’t go on.
“Number eight,” Lauren continued after a moment of thought.
“Your smile can brighten my mood in a way no artificial drug ever
could.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trials-
andtribulationschapter10 8/13 “Some of us aren’t so lucky,”
Camila commented as she continued to write. “Although I have to
admit the drugs do help.” Lauren smiled at Camila, having
resumed her previous position now that her attention was once
again focused on the page. “You never give up despite how hard
things can be,” Lauren told her. “You’re smart and creative.”
Camila continued writing and Lauren continued speaking, reeling
 off reason after reason as to why she liked the girl who ironically
sat on the bed beside her, completely oblivious. Lauren had listed
about fifty things that she liked about Camila and felt like she
could probably continue on forever, noting all the little oddities
about her she found endearing. However, she decided to finish
with the most prominent thought in her head, especially with
Camila lying so close beside her. “Finally,” Lauren began, “number
fifty two, you have the softest lips I’ve ever kissed.” Camila looked
at Lauren and smiled. “You’ve kissed her?” She asked surprised.
“Yes,” Lauren replied, still disappointed that Camila did not
remember the exchange that had taken place yesterday. “You
didn’t tell me that, when?” She asked interestedly. “None of your
business,” Lauren said playfully, winking at Camila. “Spoil sport!”
Camila said before glancing back at the list in front of her. “This is
really sweet,” Camila noted. “You really like her huh? “Yeah,”
Lauren answered scrutinising Camila as she reread through them
once again. She ripped the page out of her notebook and held it in
Lauren’s direction. “You should give her this.” Camila commented.
“She’d like to have it. You say some really nice things about her.”
Lauren looked at her a moment unconvinced. “Well, maybe
rewrite it first though because honestly, I can barely read it and I
wrote it.” Camila laughed. “Maybe type it up or something…you
don’t want her to think you’re illiterate.” “Camila,” Lauren
groaned at the other girls’ selfdeprecation. “Don’t say things like
that.” “Ok fine,” Camila said waving her free hand dismissively,
 “but seriously, will you give it to her?” “I don’t know Camila,”
Lauren said in response. “Please,” Camila pleaded. “Do it for me.
You said you wanted to make me feel better.” “Ugh, fine.” Lauren
whined, taking the page and putting it into her pocket, “but just
for future record, emotional blackmail is not ok.” “It won’t happen
again,” Camila promised brightly. “Alright then, I’ll give the note
to her,” Lauren promised. “But don’t hold your breath for any
great revelations and declarations of love. It’ll be anonymous.”
“Well,” Camila said. “At least it’s a start.” “So, now that we’ve
spent a lot of time talking about my development,” Lauren
started. “Let’s talk about yours. Have you been practicing the
guitar like we talked about?” “I have,” Camila replied honestly,
“but I’m not really getting anywhere fast.” Camila sat up slightly,
propping herself up on her elbows. “I even asked my physical
therapist if she could give me some exercises to help with my
hand dexterity.” Camila informed her. “Did she?” Lauren asked
keenly. “Yeah,” Camila said excitedly, “so hopefully that’ll help.”
“Can you show me?” Lauren asked enthusiastically.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 9/13 “My exercises?” Camila asked
tentatively. “No, what you can play on the guitar,” Lauren
clarified. Camila looked hesitant for minute, dropping her gaze to
the bed. “Well,” Camila said, “my arm really aches from yesterday
still. I don’t really feel like playing. Is that alright?” “Of course,”
Lauren told her. “Next time ok?” “Ok,” Camila promises before
 asking, “Can you play a song for me instead? I’d really like to see
you play.” “Alright,” Lauren agreed reluctantly as she rolled off
the bed and walked over to collect Camila’s guitar. She sat
opposite Camila in the desk chair, strumming on the guitar strings
a few times thinking of a song to play. “I don’t normally play for
other people,” Lauren told Camila seriously, “so you should
consider this a privilege. I normally keep music for myself, you
know, it’s kind of personal to me.” Camila smiled at Lauren’s
words. “Me too,” she admitted. Lauren strums a few more chords
as Camila watched from her position on the bed. She was lying on
her stomach, her head propped up on her elbows. “Ok,” Lauren
said, finally making a decision and strumming the tune to the song
she was going to play. “Ilove this song,” Camila comments,
recognising it almost immediately. Lauren smiles as she continues
to play before dropping her gaze to the guitar in her hands and
starting to sing smoothly. “All I knew, this morning when I woke, is
I know something now, know something now, I didn’t before. And
all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago is green eyes and freckles in
your smile in the back of my mind making me feel right.” Lauren
glanced at Camila who was watching a bright smile on her face
shaking her head from side to side with the music. “I just wanna
know you better,know you better, know you better now. Ijust
wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now.”
Lauren smiled to herself when she heard Camila attempt to join in
with the duet part of the chorus. Lauren ignored the fact that she
stumbled over her words to appreciate the unique raspy tone her
voice seemed to emit effortlessly when it was able. “I just wanna
know you better, know you better, know you better now. I just
wanna know you, know you, know you.” Lauren continued alone
after this, Camila struggling to sing and speak at the same time,
her words sticking in her throat. “Cause all I know is we said,
“Hello,” and your eyes look like coming home. All I know is a
simple name, everything has changed. All I know is you held the
door, you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours. All I know since yesterday is
everything has changed…” When Lauren had finished singing the
song, Camila clapped her hands together unreservedly in
appreciation. “That was amazing,” she told Lauren. “You have a
really good voice. Why don’t you sing in front of other people?” “I
don’t know,” Lauren told her truthfully, “nothing’s ever inspired
me to do so before. Besides you can talk, I heard you joining in at
some parts. Your tone is just….so unique, it’s incredible.”
“Perhaps,” Camila said not sure how to respond to the
compliment, “but I can’t sing….my speech is worse when I try to
say things quickly. My brain takes longer to process the words so I
can’t keep up and then….something like that happens” “Well, I
would have loved to have seen you sing before the accident.”
Lauren told her. “Maybe with more therapy you can perform a
song for me. After all, you do owe me now.” “Ok, if I ever get
good enough I’ll sing for you.” Camila told her genuinely. “I
wouldn’t hold your breath though.”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 10/13 There was silence for a moment as
Lauren put the guitar back down and Camila sat up on the bed.
Lauren joined her as Camila asked, “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Lauren told her sitting back down beside her. “Why did
you pick that song to play?” Camila asked. “I mean out of all the
ones you know.” “Easy,” Lauren told her. “It’s been pretty much
all I’ve listened to since,” Lauren had to stop herself saying, “I met
you” and instead said, “I first saw my crush. It pretty much sums
up my feelings perfectly.” “I love that,” Camila said reflectively,
“you know, when a song can remind you of someone or mean
something to you on a deeper level.” “Do you have any songs that
are like that for you?” Lauren asked her curiously. Camila nodded.
“After the accident,” Camila opened up. “I was really angry and
upset about everything and I was sulking in here, listening to my
iPod when ‘Skyscraper’ by Demi Lovato came on. It just kind of
touched me then I guess. I mean, I’ve always loved it, but, in that
moment it just had a whole new meaning for me.” Lauren nodded
in understanding. “I can see why it would.” Lauren said honestly.
“I sometimes think about the person that hit me,” Camila
admitted, “and I wonder if they realize what they took from me
that day. I wonder if they ever feel guilty.” “You shouldn’t,”
Lauren responded, rubbing Camila’s shoulder sympathetically,
“don’t give them a second thought.” “Lauren,” Camila started
thoughtfully. “You should sing that song to your crush at the
 Christmas show at school. You could dedicate it to her or
something.” “You’re determined to set me up with this girl aren’t
you?” Lauren laughed. “Well, it would be easier if you told me
who she was,” Camila chuckled. “Maybe then I could put in a
good word for you.” “Ok,” Lauren began, a sudden thought
occurring to her. ““I’ll sing it at the school’s Christmas show, if you
promise to sing it with me….playing your guitar.” “You’re joking
aren’t you?” Camila said incredulously. “I’ll never be able to do
that.” “Shame,” Lauren said playfully. “Guess I’ll just have to be
alone forever.” “Lauren,” Camila whined hitting her playfully on
the arm. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to be the reason you aren’t
with the person you love.” “Who said Ilove her.” Lauren asked,
her turn to be surprised. “Umm…” Camila said. “Well, there’s the
song….and…the endless list of things you made me write earlier.”
“That’s not love.” Lauren protested. “It is so.” Camila countered.
“Your problem Camila is that you’re a romantic.” Lauren informed
her. “Perhaps,” Camila said, “but, do you know the one thing I got
out of my accident?” Camila asked her rhetorically.
“Perspective…well, that and disinhibition, which can sometimes
make me says things I wouldn’t otherwise but,” she went on,
“what I really learnt is that life is too short.” She paused a
moment for effect. “Tell the people you love that you love them.
They might not be here tomorrow.” She finished. “What if she
doesn’t feel the same?” Lauren questioned. “What if she does?”
Camila asked her in return. “What if it ruins everything?” Lauren
 persisted. “What if it doesn’t?” Camila defied again. “What if
taking one risk could make you happier than you could have ever
imagined?” “You ask too many questions?” Lauren noted
laughing.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60401779770/trialsand-
tribulationschapter10 11/13 “Well, you don’t ask enough.” Camila
stated. “What are you so scared of Lauren?” “I’m scared of losing
something I’ve never had.” Lauren admitted. “Now, at this
moment, I can hope that one day she’ll feel the same but if I tell
her, if she says no or tells me that she doesn’t feel the same, it’s
over, my illusion is shattered. I’m much happier living in ignorant
bliss thanks.” “That’s not living.” Camila told her insightfully.
“Well, it’s the best that I can do for now” Lauren told her.
“Besides, I don’t see you confessing your undying love for
anyone.” “That’s because I can’t,” Camila said sadly. “Because
apparently aside for making me a clumsy, vocally impaired
airhead, my head injury means I can’t fall in love either.” She
laughed at her words despite herself. “See and that’s the
problem” Lauren told her feeling brave and inspired by Camila’s
words. “Why?” Camila asked. “Because you’re the person I like
Camila.” Lauren told her as she reached into her pocket and
pulled out the piece of paper she’d given her earlier. Camila had a
look of confusion on her face as Lauren handed it back to her.
Camila took it reflexively, an uncertain look on her face and
unfolded it, staring at the words written there with a blank
 expression on her face, shocked. Lauren watched her for a
moment before standing up from the bed and heading towards
the door, she paused momentarily to look back at Camila, the
other girl still staring at the paper in her hand, not moving. Lauren
felt her illusion shatter at the silence that seemed to hang in the
air between them like a fog. Lauren sighed to herself before
exiting the room and making her way towards Camila’s front the
door. She left quickly, closing the door behind her and climbing
behind the wheel of her car. Shit Lauren thought as she heard the
song play once again in her head again. “All I know is we said,
“Hello,” so dust of your highest hopes. All I know is pouring rain
and everything has changed. All I know is a new found grace, all
my days I’ll know your face, all I know since yesterday is
everything has changed’ Shit. Shit. Shit. A/N: Thanks for the
amazing reviews. Sorry this took so long. I hope you like it x
Chapter 11
Lauren sat in her car, her hands clasping the steering wheel
tightly, her head resting on top of them, her eyes closed. She
inhaled deeply in an attempt to clear her head. What the hell had
she been thinking? She thought to herself, banging her head
against the steering wheel gently. For the life of her Lauren
couldn’t understand what had possessed her to do something so
stupid. There was a reason that she’d been keeping her feelings a
secret from Camila, a very valid reason. It wasn’t because she was
scared of Camila’s rejection, although, she’d admit that had
 played on her mind in the numerous debates she’d had with
herself about opening up to the girl that consumed her every
waking thought. No, her silence was actually due to much less
selfish reasons. Camila was vulnerable; she was dealing with a lot
of stress already, with her health, with school and Lauren didn’t
want to add to that any further. Lauren had been happy being
Camila’s friend, more than happy in fact. Spending time with
Camila was better than nothing and her happiness meant more to
Lauren than her own ever would. Lauren had kept her feelings
quiet because deep down she knew that Camila needed her more
as a friend then she needed Camila as a girlfriend. Now everything
was ruined and there was a very distinct possibility that she’d lose
Camila completely, all because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
Lauren banged her head against the steering wheel again, her
right hand mirroring it and striking the object in frustration. Shit.
She thought. Shit. Shit. Shit. She inhaled deeply once again, letting
the breath escape slowly from her mouth, trying to rid herself of
the terrified dread which seemed to have consumed her whole
body. Lauren tried to recollect what she’d been thinking when
she’d confessed all to Camila but the truth is she hadn’t been. In
that moment it had just felt right and she couldn’t help herself
from finally speaking the words she’d longed to say since the first
day that they’d met. For once, Lauren had taken her own advice
and she’d let her heart govern her emotions. She’d stopped
overthinking everything; shut her brain and its maddening logic
 out of conscious thought and done what Camila had suggested,
she’d taken a risk, she’d lived. The only problem was that living
was painful. It fucking hurt. As soon as something was out there,
as soon as you’d voiced those words and someone had heard
them, you could never take them back. Camila had told her that
life was too short and Lauren agreed with that sentiment
wholeheartedly, it had, in fact been a huge driving force behind
her confession. The thought of losing Camila, that any more harm
should come to her than already had, scared Lauren. The thought
of Camila never knowing what she’d meant to Lauren terrified her
more than anything, especially because her confidence and
selfesteem were already so low. So she’d thought, “What the
hell? What’s the worst that could happen?” Had she thought
about it a little bit more, perhaps she would have listened to that
infuriating rationality which she often prided herself on and kept
her mouth firmly closed. Instead, she now found herself sitting
alone in her car, the deathly silence that had followed her
confession ringing tauntingly in her ears. Lauren lifted her head
off the steering wheel and ran a hand through her hair, resolving
to get as far away from Camila’s house as possible so that she
could clear her head and think. She quickly found her car keys in
her lap, pushed them into the ignition and turned them, the
engine and car burning into life around her. Lauren put the car in
drive, checked her rear view mirror momentarily and indicated to
pull out from her parking spot, her foot finding the accelerator
 and moving the vehicle forward and away from the curb.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60477811560/trialsand-
tribulationschapter11 2/9 Lauren was just picking up speed when
she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and the next
thing she knew something had thrown itself in front of her car.
She slammed on the brakes, the car coming to a sudden,
screeching stop just centimetres from the person in front of it
who had hit the hood firmly with both hands in an attempt to
protect themselves from impact. Lauren’s mouth dropped slightly
in surprise as she finally realised that it was Camila who was stood
watching her from the other side of the windscreen and she flew
out of the car, her concern for the other girl manifesting as anger.
“Jesus Christ Camila!” Lauren shouted, slamming the car door
closed firmly behind her. “What the fuck do you think you’re
doing?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!” She practically
screamed. “I would have thought that you’d have known not to
throw yourself in front of a moving vehicle after the last time you
collided with one!” Lauren regretted her outburst in an instant
when she scrutinised Camila who stood a few feet away, her hand
clasping tightly onto the front of the car as though it’s the only
thing keeping her on her feet. Her face is ashen and she looks like
she’s about to either vomit or collapse, maybe even both. “Shit,”
Lauren said under her breath, closing the distance between them
and placing a steadying hand on Camila’s shoulder. Camila lifted
one hand to her mouth as though to stop herself from being sick
 and leant her elbow firmly on the hood of Lauren’s car, her knees
almost buckling underneath her. “Ok, just breathe Camila,”
Lauren prompted. “Don’t you dare pass out on me alright?”
Camila raised her eyes to meet Lauren’s, searching for something
to ground her suddenly spinning head. She didn’t know why she
thought it’d be a good idea to throw herself in front of Lauren’s
car. All she knew was that she had to stop her from leaving and it
was the first thing that’d come to mind on seeing Lauren pulling
away from the curb. She regretted it immensely now, the
flashbacks hitting her almost instantly. “Jesus Camila,” Lauren said
concern etched in her voice, “say something. You’re freaking me
out. Do Should I call an ambulance?” Camila shook her head in
response and waved her hand dismissively. “N…o” she managed
to articulate inhaling deeply, her eyes closing momentarily as she
released the breath slowly trying to restore her vision. “What the
hell were you thinking?” Lauren asked her, anger returning to her
voice as she saw Camila stand up straighter to face her, evidently
regaining her composure. Camila opened her mouth to speak but
said nothing. She took a minute to steady her breathing, closing
her eyes once again. After a moment, she opened them to meet
Lauren’s questioning and expectant stare. Camila she opened her
mouth to respond again, shaking her head for an instant when no
words came, her eyes closing as she did so and Lauren watched as
her face contorted in an effort to speak. Camila hit the hood of
Lauren’s car with the palm of her hand and Lauren jumped in
 surprise at the unforeseen outburst. She put both her hands on
the top of her head and dropped it down for a minute before
hitting the hood of Lauren’s car once more. “Seriously?” Lauren
asked her incredulously, irritation laced in her voice. “You can’t
speak?” She paused throwing her hands up in the air in agitation.
“You can’t say one word to me?” Lauren watched Camila, waiting
but no words came, not one single word. “Unbelievable,” Lauren
said, “You could talk perfectly ten minutes ago but now you
can’t?” she asked emphasizing the word. “A little bit convenient
don’t you think?” Camila met Lauren’s gaze apologetically but
Lauren shook her head, turning around and starting to walk back
around to her car door. She stopped in her tracks when she felt
Camila grab her wrist firmly in obvious desperation. Lauren spun
around to face her, not saying anything, just waiting for Camila to
say something, anything. “I….” Camila started closing her eyes and
moistening her bottom lip with her tongue before biting down on
it hard. She took another deep breath and tried again. “I…h…
hhad….to…to…ssssttop……yyyoooouuu.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60477811560/trialsand-
tribulationschapter11 3/9 Camila sighed in relief at finally
managing to say something despite its lack of fluidity. “Why?”
Lauren asked seriously. “Why did you have to stop me Camila?”
Camila stared at Lauren, just stared, her expression frantic and
despairing. Irrespective of what Lauren may have thought, her
inability to speak wasn’t convenient, in fact, it was fucking
 inconvenient if you asked her. It was as though she were mute,
her brain completely ignoring every command that she gave it to
speak. Camila was physically incapable of producing a single word
and it was really starting to piss her off. Unable to speak, Camila
did the only thing she could think off and reached into her pocket
quickly; pulling out the piece of paper that Lauren had given back
to her a little earlier. Camila unfolded it and held it up in front of
Lauren pointing at it meaningfully. “I don’t know what that
means?” Lauren told her exasperated. “You have to say it Camila.”
Camila lowered the paper in her hands, her gaze lowered, her
eyes darting around in their sockets as she thought. Finally she
stepped around to the passenger door of Lauren’s car and opened
it, sticking her head inside for a moment to retrieve something
before closing it again and returning to her previous position.
Lauren watched her with interest as she leant over the hood of
the car, turning the piece of paper over and using the pen, which
Lauren now realised she’d taken out of her glove compartment,
started to write something on an empty corner of the sheet.
When she’d finished, she moved aside slightly and gestured for
Lauren to read it. Lauren stepped forward and studied Camila’s
scrawled handwriting, which was now also worse than it had been
earlier. “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised sincerely. “I can’t read
that.” Camila looked at her writing, running a hand through her
hair in obvious irritation. Lauren watched her for a moment as she
crammed the page from her notebook back into her back pocket,
 the pen following quickly after. She turned to face Lauren once
again, reaching for her wrist and taking it in her small right hand.
Camila took a deep breath, her face contorting with the apparent
effort to try and speak. She opened and closed her mouth a few
times with no effect. Quickly, she released Lauren’s arm from her
own and turned to face the car beside her, her whole demeanour
erupting in fury as she started to kick and hit the hood of it
feverishly. “Camila!” Lauren shouted as she took a step towards
the aggravated girl before her and narrowly missed getting a black
eye from a wayward fist. “Stop it! Shit, Camila! Jesus, you’re going
to hurt yourself.” Camila ignored Lauren’s words, her whole body
taken over with a rage which she had been holding in ever since
she woke up to find herself a broken version of her former self, a
lesser version. Lauren grabbed for Camila’s wrists, trying to get
her to stop, but she was in a complete frenzy, her fists flying so
quickly that Lauren barely had time to react before they’d moved
again. She could see the tears in Camila’s eyes and her gut
churned as she made another attempt to restrain Camila’s hands,
concerned more about the potential physical damage Camila
could cause herself then the damage being done to her car.
Camila had already suffered so much at the hands of someone
else, but, watching her now, inflicting suffering on herself was
more than Lauren could bear. “Hey,” Lauren said trying to contain
Camila’s hands one more. “Hey….it’s alright….Camila….it’s ok,
alright?” Lauren finally managed to detain Camila’s fists in her
 hands but all it did was turn Camila’s attention towards Lauren
and she struggled in the other girls hold, twisting her arms
forcefully from one side to another in an attempt to release them
from her grip. Afraid that she’d hurt her, Lauren relaxed her hold
and Camila pulled her hands back away from Lauren. Camila
stepped back as Lauren took a step towards her with an
outstretched hand. “Camila,” Lauren said her voice soft. “It’s ok.”
Camila wiped at her eyes furiously, tears continuing to fall
unashamedly. Lauren took another step towards Camila, but she
stepped back once more causing Lauren to frown. Finally Lauren
quickly closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms
around Camila’s body and pulling her close into her. She felt
Camila resist the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60477811560/trialsand-
tribulationschapter11 4/9 embrace, her arms pushing at Lauren’s
chest in an attempt to separate them but Lauren held her tighter
until all the strength seemed to leave the smaller girl and she
collapsed down onto her knees. Lauren accompanied Camila onto
the floor, her arms never loosening their hold around Camila’s
torso as the smaller girl sobbed into her arms. “It’s ok,” Lauren
soothed her, stroking her hair. “Shh….it’s alright.” On hearing
Lauren’s voice, Camila struggled once again out of the other girls’
grasp and Lauren let her, watching as she leant back onto her
heels, tears streaming down her face, her body shaking as she
tried to breathe in between her sobs. She still couldn’t talk, she
 couldn’t say a word but, apparently, she didn’t need to because
finally she knew how to tell Lauren everything that she couldn’t
vocalise. Camila wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand as
Lauren started to make a move to stand up. Camila reached for
Lauren’s hand desperately, pulling her back onto her knees in
front of her hastily before crashing their lips together. The contact
was so strong, so deliberate; that Lauren almost lost her balance
and fell over backwards it was so forceful. Camila separated their
lips for a moment, leaning back a little to meet Lauren’s gaze. She
had a stunned and disbelieving expression on her face clearly
taken aback by Camila’s sudden act. Camila waited hopefully, her
eyes never leaving Lauren’s face. Lauren moved her hand up to
touch her lips with her fingertips, dropping her gaze as she did so.
When she eventually looked back up, she saw Camila, waiting
with anticipation, trying desperately to convey what she couldn’t
say with her eyes. “Camila,” Lauren said dropping her head sadly,
misinterpreting the kiss for one of comfort or pity, anything other
than what it really was. Camila swallowed down a sob, taking a
deep breath as Lauren tried to get up once more. This time Camila
let her, standing up quickly and waiting for Lauren to say
something else. When she turned to walk back to the door of her
car, Camila grabbed her wrist once more, spinning Lauren around
and crashing their lips together again. This time it was Lauren’s
turn to try and move away but Camila put her right hand around
her waist and pulled her closer to her, trying to deepen the kiss.
 She heard Lauren moan in response to the contact and when she
opened her mouth slightly to let another moan escape, Camila
took the opportunity to lightly suck on Lauren’s bottom lip. As
though finally gathering her faculties, Lauren snapped her head
back quickly, placing the back of her hand over her mouth and
stepping away from Camila when the arm she’d held around
Lauren’s waist relaxed slightly. Camila made a move to step
towards Lauren this time, her eyes pleading with the other girl but
Lauren held hers up between them, staying her. “No,” Lauren told
her firmly. “Please don’t.” Camila looked confused and tried to
step towards her once again. This time Lauren physically pushed
her back. “Jesus Camila,” Lauren muttered. “Don’t ok? Don’t kiss
me if you don’t mean it. I don’t need your pity.” Camila’s features
took on a surprised expression and she stepped forward once
again but Lauren held her back. “I have to go,” Lauren told her
matter of factly. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” Lauren turned quickly
on her heels and got into the car before Camila even had time to
react. She locked the doors around her just as Camila stepped
around to try and open it. She banged on the window with the
palm of her hand but Lauren ignored her, ignored the tears, the
pleading look, because as much as she cared for Camila she
couldn’t tolerate her pity. She wouldn’t. Camila had already
admitted that there wasn’t anyone she had a crush on. She’d said
it herself that she didn’t think about anyone the way Lauren or
the other girls’ did. Camila didn’t understand what it was like to
be in love, she’d told Lauren that herself. So Lauren deduced that,
if all that were true, then Camila kissing Lauren wasn’t because
the feelings she had for her were mutual. It was because of
something else, because she wanted to comfort Lauren or
because she pitied her. Either option tore Lauren’s insides
asunder but, if there was one thing Lauren hated more than
rejection it was people feeling sorry for her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60477811560/trialsand-
tribulationschapter11 5/9 Lauren turned the keys in the ignition,
stirring the engine to life, tears starting to form in her own eyes
now as Camila kept banging on the window frantically. She pulled
away slowly at first, careful not to hurt Camila in the process, but,
once she was clear of where she’d stood, Lauren pushed her foot
into the pedal firmly, picking up speed and disappearing out of
sight. Camila had tried calling Lauren after she’d left. In fact, she’d
phoned her multiple times over the course of the evening but
Lauren had ignored each attempt, instead wallowing in the only
kind of pity that she welcomed gratefully, selfpity. Lauren had
struggled to sleep that night, her thoughts consumed with
thoughts about Camila, about what had happened and where
they could possibly go from here. She’d woken up tired, irritable
and moody, arriving late to school and barely concentrating when
she was there. Camila remained off today and Lauren couldn’t
help but feel slightly grateful for that small reprieve. At lunch,
Lauren was quiet and finally, unable to bear her mood any longer,
 Ally addressed it outright. “Ok,” Ally said putting her sandwich
down and turning to Lauren. “What the hell is the matter with you
today?” “Nothing,” Lauren told her miserably. “Nothing? Really?”
Ally asked her. “You know you could have fooled me. You’ve not
touched your food and you’ve barely spoken to anyone all day.”
“Perhaps I’m just not feeling well,” Lauren told her offering a
small glare in irritation. “You were fine yesterday.” Normani
commented, taking a bite of her sandwich. “Yeah well that was
yesterday,” Lauren responded testily. “Did something happen at
Camila’s?” Dinah asked, not looking at Lauren, her attention on
the plate of food in front of her. “What?” Lauren asked
defensively, “No, nothing happened at Camila’s. Why would you
ask that?” Dinah lifted her head to look at Lauren. “I called her
this morning,” Dinah informed her. “She’s having a bad day too so
I just wondered if something happened.” “What?” Lauren asked
panicked. “What did Camila say?” “Nothing,” Dinah told her
honestly. “She literally didn’t say one word to me.” Dinah pulled
her phone out of her pocket and fiddled with it momentarily
before handing it to Lauren. “She sent me this text afterwards but
I have no idea what she’s trying to say,” Dinah explained. “Any
clues?” Lauren handed the phone back to Dinah. “No,” she
answered simply. “I called her mom after I’d gotten it” Dinah
went on. “She said Camila had a rough night. Apparently she came
back from taking Sofi to ballet and found Camila had trashed her
room.” “Why?” Normani asked Dinah. “Sinu didn’t know.” Dinah
 told her. “She’s done it before though.” Dinah informed them.
“When she first got out of the hospital she completely trashed her
bedroom, pulled all her pictures off the walls and smashed them
on the floor.” “Why would she do that?” Ally asked sadly. “She
told me afterwards that she couldn’t bear to look at any of them.”
Dinah told her. “The pictures I mean. Apparently it was too hard
to be reminded of how she was before…” “That’s so sad,” Ally said
sincerely. “I didn’t know that,” Lauren added. “She doesn’t really
like to talk about it but her therapist suggested that she should.”
Dinah explained.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60477811560/trialsand-
tribulationschapter11 6/9 “You said she trashed her room again
last night?” Normani asked concerned. “Do you think she’s
alright? Perhaps we should go and see her.” “Isn’t she coming to
yours tonight?” Ally asked. “It’s Wednesday.” “I don’t know,”
Normani replied. “I text her last night to remind her but she never
got back to me. Did she say anything to you Lauren?” “No,”
Lauren said anger in her voice. “Why would she say something to
me?” “Well,” Normani said scrutinizing her friend closely,
“because you were with her.” Lauren glanced around at the faces
around her, each one observing her closely and making her feel
uncomfortable. “It didn’t come up,” Lauren told them shortly.
“O…k…” Dinah said narrowing her gaze at Lauren. “What did you
do?” “Why do you assume that I did something?” Lauren asked
her seriously. “Because,” Dinah started, “you’ve been acting like
 someone stabbed you with a kitchen knife all day and Camila has
apparently gone off the deep end.” Lauren didn’t say anything so
Dinah continued. “You didn’t tell her how you feel did you?”
Dinah asked a hint of surprise in her voice. “It might have come
up,” Lauren said avoiding the shocked gazes of those around her.
“Itake it that it didn’t go well,” Dinah said making a face. “It
definitely could have gone better,” Lauren informed them. “What
happened?” Ally asked, rubbing Lauren’s shoulder
sympathetically. “Ugh, I don’t even know,” Lauren told them.
“One minute it was fine, Camila was being adorable and trying to
set me up with my secret crush and then the next minute I’d’
blurted it out and all hell broke loose.” “She didn’t take it well?”
Normani asked. “She didn’t take it at all,” Lauren said sadly, finally
meeting their gazes. “She just sat in stunned silence and Ileft.”
“You just walked out?” Dinah asked in disbelief. “Yes,” Lauren told
them protectively. “She’d spent all afternoon telling me that she
didn’t like anyone, you know, romantically and then when I told
her she didn’t say anything.” “She can’t speak,” Dinah stated
incredulous. “She can,” Lauren said. “She’d been fine all afternoon
until then.” “You know it doesn’t work like that,” Dinah told her
seriously. “She doesn’t do it on purpose.” “I know that,” Lauren
responded. “Do you?” Dinah asked, “Because it seems like you
might have forgotten.” “Yes,” Lauren retorted sharply before
softening her tone, “but I admit that maybe I might have let my
emotions get the better of me yesterday,” Lauren finished
 running a hand through her hair. “Tell us everything that
happened,” Ally said. “From the beginning.” So Lauren did, she
explained what had happened at the hospital whilst Camila had
still been recovering from her seizure. She told them about the
compliments, the kiss, everything. She explained to them what
had happened at Camila’s house yesterday, the note, playing her
the song and everything that had followed it, everything. “You
idiot,” Dinah stated simply when she’d finished. “What?” Why?”
Lauren asked surprised by Dinah’s reaction. “She didn’t kiss you
because she pitied you,” Dinah told her. “Camila has never kissed
anyone, ever. She’d never make the first move unless it meant
something.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60477811560/trialsand-
tribulationschapter11 7/9 “What do you mean?” Lauren asked in
alarm. “I mean that you’re her first kiss Lauren.” Dinah informed
her. “She chose you, maybe not consciously the first time, but
definitely the second time and she wouldn’t have done it just to
appease you. She did it because it meant something to her to do
it. What that is, I have no idea, but, apparently neither do you.”
“No, but, she’d said…” Lauren began sceptically. “No but nothing,”
Dinah interrupted her. “Camila doesn’t know her own mind any
better than we know it at the moment. Her head is all over the
place. She doesn’t know what she feels because she’s too busy
feeling nothing. Why the hell do you think she’s seeing a
therapist?” Lauren felt her stomach drop in realisation. “Dinah’s
right,” Normani commented. “I know ok,” Lauren almost shouted
angry at herself. “Shit, this is such a fucking mess.” “What are you
going to do?” Ally asked her. “I don’t know that there is anything
that I can do,” Lauren said. “How the fuck am I supposed to fix
this?” “You have to do something,” Normani prompted her. “Yeah
you can’t leave it like this,” Dinah concurred. “I have to go and see
her,” Lauren said standing up from where she was sitting. “What
now?” Ally asked. “Yes, now.” Lauren confirmed. “What about
school?” Normani asked her. “Screw school,” Lauren told her
fervently. “You’re going to bunk again?” Dinah asked. “Are you
going to stop me?” Lauren asked ready for the challenge. “No,”
Dinah replied standing up, “I was going to come with you.” Lauren
eyed Dinah for a moment. “Just in case.” She said her voice
loaded. Lauren nodded her agreement at Dinah’s requested
presence. “You’ll be round later?” Normani asked with concern as
Lauren made a move to leave. “Me and Dinah will be at yours
after school,” Lauren told her. “What about Camila?” Normani
asked uncertainly. Lauren looked at Dinah whose face was
unreadable. “She’ll be there,” Lauren said confidently, her jaw set
in determination. Normani smiled at her answer. “Then what the
hell are you waiting for? Go!” Lauren felt herself smile, her nerves
electrified, her body radiating anxiousness. “I’m going,” she said
glancing at Dinah who was looking at something over Lauren’s
shoulder in the distance. “What’s wrong?” she asked, noting
Dinah’s stunned expression. Dinah pointed over Lauren’s shoulder
and she turned around, her eyes searching the crowd of students
for what had caught her attention. She froze when she saw her,
standing across the quad, watching them. “Camila,” Lauren said
turning to face her fully. “She’s here.” A/N: Ok, so here it is. Sorry
it took so long x
Chapter 12
Camila lifted her hand tentatively in greeting and Lauren offered a
small smile in return as she watched the smaller girl navigate her
way across the quad towards where she stood. Lauren felt Dinah
come and stand beside her as Camila neared where their group
normally sat for lunch and place a cautionary hand on her
shoulder. Lauren looked at Dinah and nodded her head in
understanding. Finally, Camila stood before Dinah and Lauren, her
sleeves pulled down over her hands clearly apprehensive. They
both noted the dark circles under Camila’s eyes hinting that she’d
likely had as little sleep as Lauren last night after what had
happened between the two of them. Lauren studied Camila’s face
closely, noting its pallid complexion and the way that her normally
quick and brilliant chocolate coloured eyes were today dull and
hazy. Lauren observed that all eyes in the quad were firmly fixed
on Camila with interest, the drama that had happened during
homeroom on Monday still fresh in the students’ minds. Camila
tried her best to ignore the scrutiny but Lauren could tell that she
felt uncomfortable under the weight of their heavy gazes. As
Camila came to a stop in front of Lauren, she dropped her eyes to
 Camila’s hands and was concerned to find her clutching her left
wrist in her right hand over her sweater, the usually observable
splint that she wore now conspicuously absent. Lauren examined
the back of Camila’s left hand more closely, noting a dark purple
bruise just visible into both her index and middle fingers,
disappearing beneath her jumper and probably spreading up
towards her wrist. Lauren wasn’t certain, but she thought
Camila’s hand looked more swollen than it had yesterday and
Lauren remembered the frenzied attack to the hood of her car
and felt her stomach drop regretfully that she’d not been able to
stop Camila from hurting herself during her outburst. “Hi,” Camila
said drawing Lauren’s attention back to her face. Camila gave Ally
and Normani a timid wave where they sat and they returned the
gesture. “Hi,” Lauren said uncertainly, her bravado and
confidence of mere moments ago suddenly escaping her now that
Camila was standing in front of her. “What are you doing here? I
thought you were staying home today.” Lauren said her voice
calm and soothing. Camila shared a looked with Dinah before
glancing towards Lauren and hastily back down to her hands
which she was twiddling nervously before her. “I am,” was all
Camila said her voice small and unsure. “Ssstaaaying…home.”
“How did you get here?” Ally asked turning around in her seat to
face Camila and prevent her from getting a sore neck. “Did your
mom drive you?” Camila shook her head and rather than speak
mimicked walking with the index and middle finger of her right
 hand. “Mila,” Dinah said in alarm. “That’s a forty minute walk.”
Camila shrugged at Dinah’s comment, turning her attention back
to Lauren who was watching her carefully. “I…I…needed…to,”
Camila started, moistening her lips and moving her jaw
purposefully to try to help her speak. “T…tt…o…see…yyy..”
Struggling to get the last word out Camila visibly abandoned her
effort, instead opting to just point at Lauren with the index finger
of her right hand.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60562024464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter12 2/9 “I was just coming to you,” Lauren told
her and Camila looked surprised at this revelation. “Look, about
yesterday…” Lauren wasn’t given the chance to finish, Camila
stepping forward to place her index finger over her lips to silence
her. Lauren looked puzzled but she followed Camila’s silent
command and stopped talking. “I’m…..I’m….sss…ss…sorry,”
Camila managed and Lauren’s jaw dropped in shock. “Wait, you’re
sorry?” Lauren asked confused. “I was coming to apologise to
you.” She paused for a moment, studying Camila’s face. “I know
what I’m sorry for,” Lauren continued, “but I have no idea what
exactly you’re apologising for Camila.” Camila frowned evidently
confused. “Yesterday,” she said simply. “Yeah,” Lauren replied. “I
know you’re apologising for yesterday but you didn’t do anything
wrong. I did.” Camila went to say something further but this time
it was Lauren’s turn to stop her in her tracks. “Listen,” Lauren said
seriously placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder, her bright green
 eyes never losing contact with the sluggish dark brown ones
before her. “I am so sorry for what happened between us. I don’t
have an excuse for my behaviour, I just, I want you to know that I
have never regretted anything more in my entire life then the way
that Itreated you.” Camila shook her head at Lauren’s words in
protest but she continued regardless. “I was an idiot,” Lauren told
her simply. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have left
like I did and I definitely shouldn’t have insinuated what I did
about your speech because I know that you don’t do it on
purpose,” Lauren went on. “You have to believe that Camila. I
would never think that about you. I know how hard you try.”
Lauren reached down and placed her hand carefully on Camila’s
left wrist, causing her to wince in response. Lauren proceeded to
lift Camila’s arm between them and despite Camila’s efforts to
keep her sleeve pulled down, rolled it up to expose her bruised
arm. “This is not ok,” Lauren told her sadly as she heard Dinah
audibly gasp at seeing the state of Camila’s wrist, “and this
happened as a result of me, because you were trying to tell me
something and you couldn’t because I’d stressed you out.” Camila
pulled her left arm into her stomach and cradled it with her right,
Lauren releasing it gladly when she moved it afraid of injuring it
further. Camila tugged at her sleeve, pulling it down over her
hand to cover it up once again. “It’s fine,” Camila told her trying to
lessen Lauren’s guilt. Lauren had a distinct feeling that nothing
would help to ease the sense of responsibility she felt anytime
 soon. “That is not fine,” Lauren responded earnestly pointing at
Camila’s arm, her gut churning wretchedly. “Nothing about
yesterday is fine Camila. I dropped this massive bombshell on you
and expected you to process it in an instant. Then when you
didn’t, I just ran away…” “Yeah, but…” Camila tried to interject but
Lauren carried on. “Then I got angry with you when you jumped in
front of my car,” Lauren told her, “but it was only because I was
so worried that I’d hurt you. It all just came out wrong because
you scared me so much. Especially afterwards…” she trailed off. “I
would actually prefer if you didn’t throw yourself in front of
anymore cars,” Dinah told Camila, only half joking. “I mean, you
know, intentionally at least.” Camila gave Dinah a look, reaching
her right hand to place it on her arm reassuringly. “Everything
after that is kind of a blur,” Lauren admitted, “but, I remember
you, you know,” she said dropping her voice lower, “kissing me.”
Camila opened her mouth to say something but Lauren put her
hand up to stop her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60562024464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter12 3/9 “No please,” Lauren said, “let me just
finish alright. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first day I saw you
but it didn’t feel right yesterday. It felt like you were just doing it
to make me feel better because that’s the sort of person that you
are, but, I couldn’t bear the thought of you pitying me so I pushed
you away.” Camila stepped forward slightly and Lauren took a
step back causing a pained expression to spread across Camila’s
features. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to you,”
Lauren said anxiously, “and I understand if you never want to
speak to me again but please believe me when I say I really am
sorry. I hope that someday you’ll be able to forgive me…” she
finished her voice weakening as she struggled to suppress a small
sob. Camila frowned at Lauren, noting her eyes were moist with
tears before glancing at the faces of her friends, each one
watching her expectantly for a response to Lauren’s words.
Camila exhaled noisily, heaving a huge sigh as she stepped
forward and examined Lauren’s face thoroughly. She was mere
inches from Lauren and their eyes were locked together, neither
of them saying anything. Camila reached up to wipe away the
moisture at Lauren’s eye with the pad of her right thumb and
Lauren felt herself laugh lightly at how misplaced the gesture felt
after everything that she’d just said. In her mind, Camila had
every right to hate her, but yet, here she was showing Lauren
comfort when she was upset. After she’d halted Lauren’s tears,
Camila reached her hand into her back pocket pulling out a wad of
folded A4 paper. She handed it to Lauren who took it hesitantly
and Camila nodded her head in a prompt for Lauren to open it up.
Lauren did as she was instructed, unfolding the wad of paper to
reveal two sheets of printed out word processed writing. She
looked at Camila who gestured using her right hand for Lauren to
read the words written on the page. Lauren obliged, perching
herself back down on the seat behind her beside Ally. Dinah
 glanced over Lauren’s shoulder to read from her vantage point
where she stood, Ally and Normani sharing questioning glances
before turning their attention back to Camila who was watching
Lauren attentively. “Lauren, I haven’t slept much tonight because
I kept thinking about all that has happened today and everything
suddenly seems to make no sense and complete sense all at once.
I know that my writing is horrible so I am sat at my computer,
typing you this letter at a painfully slow speed because I can’t co-
ordinate my hands and eyes to work together quite like they used
to and my brain is struggling to formulate a coherent sentence.
My therapist told me that when I am feeling sad, or angry, or
frustrated that I should try to write things down because I always
internalise everything. She has said that isn’t good for me in the
long run and could cause problems later on, so, please bear with
me whilst I try to do just that because I’m not used to opening up
about anything, least of all myself, except maybe at therapy. It’s
so hard for me to put into words what I want to say and for it to
make sense to you because, aside from my brain not wanting to
cooperate with me, I am also finally feeling something positive
instead of negative and depressing, something that I don’t quite
understand myself. I admit that your confession came as a
surprise but, strangely, not an unpleasant one. Ever since the first
day of school, when you returned my notebook to me, you’ve
been this consistent and solid support for which I will ever be
grateful. You will never quite understand how much it meant to
 me to be blessed with yours, Ally and Normani’s presence in my
life at a time when I so desperately needed to feel like I belonged
somewhere. I appreciate everything that you do for me, even
when you don’t realise that you’re doing it and it is the little
things that you do which I have come to appreciate the most. The
most prominent of these is that you refuse to treat me any
differently because of my problems and whilst I am struggling to
find my own normality, this provides me with great comfort. I
hate how we left things earlier because it felt like the end of
something which I wasn’t ready to let go of and I refuse to lose
something and someone I’ve come to value so much. I’ve tried
calling you but you’re not answering your phone and I don’t know
if I should be concerned that you can’t even bear the idea of
talking to me. It turns out that it’s probably a blessing in disguise
because I’ve apparently lost all ability to speak, and I don’t know
how much would be resolved between us with a one way
conversation. I know that I have probably hurt you and that you
made yourself vulnerable and exposed by opening up to me about
your feelings so I feel as though it is only fair to reciprocate that
act. I really like you Lauren, but I wasn’t lying when I said that I
don’t have romantic feelings for anyone. I don’t think that I can.
Not yet. It’s not personal,
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60562024464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter12 4/9 trust me, it is not you. It’s me. I have
thought about it a lot since you left this afternoon and have tried
 reading the list that you gave me today, only to find that my
thoughts were not with me, but with you, distracted as always. I
think that if I was to like anyone Lauren then it would be you,
because there are so many qualities to admire and love about you
that they would probably rival the number that you listed for me.
The problem is that I don’t think I can truly fall in love with
someone at the moment because I don’t even know how to love
myself. Does that make sense? The list that you gave me is
amazing and anyone else would appreciate your words for what
they probably are, the truth, but, I can’t and you know why. I’d
tell you all about my not to subtle selfconfidence and body image
issues but you are already aware of them, because you Lauren,
can read me better than almost anyone. You read my mood
better than even I can sometimes. I know that perhaps this is not
what you want to hear but I after this realisation I now know that
I can’t love someone else until I learn to love myself again. I have
to find a way to do that but I both want and need you to be there
with me, because, when I do finally find myself again, I want it to
be with you, I want you to be the person that teaches me how to
love Lauren. You love so freely and so openly, without prejudice,
and I want to be able to do that too, only, with you. I didn’t kiss
you today because I pitied you, because Ifelt I had to. I kissed you
because I wanted to, because, in the midst of my despair you put
aside your own feelings to be there for me even though you felt
rejected and angry with me. I want to love you Lauren and I think,
 subconsciously a part of me already does, otherwise, how else
would you explain the kiss that I cannot remember prior to the
one we shared yesterday? I assume that it happened after my
seizure and it saddens me to know that I will never remember our
first kiss if that is the case. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I
want to love you Lauren because you’ve made the past five weeks
that I’ve known you happier than they should ever have been
considering the circumstances. I want to give you everything that
you want, but, that, like my physical and emotional recovery will
take time. Someone wise once told me that love is a slow burn
not instant and allconsuming like I’d thought, so, what I want to
know is Lauren, can you give me that time?” Lauren lowered the
paper when she’d finished reading and bit her bottom lip,
glancing up at Camila who was watching her expectantly with a
questioning look. Everything in Lauren’s body was telling her to
stand up and embrace Camila in her arms, but, she decided
against it. Not quite believing her luck, Lauren offered Camila a
warm smile instead which the other girl reciprocated willingly. “So
you don’t hate me?” Lauren asked her, still not quite grasping that
Camila did not think any less of her for her behaviour yesterday.
Camila shook her head, “No,” she said, the smile still firmly in
place. “Does this mean what I think it means?” Lauren asked her,
waving the paper in front of Camila slightly. Camila shrugged
trying to get her point across and Lauren laughed a little at her
carelessness. “I mean,” she clarified so that Camila could answer
 with a simple yes or no response. “You’d consider us, I mean, the
two of us together at some point?” Camila shook her head, “No.”
“Wait, but I thought…” Lauren started but she didn’t get a chance
to finish because Camila closed the gap between them and lightly
planted a soft gentle kiss on her lips. Lauren smiled into the kiss,
her eyes closing reflexively whilst Camila’s lips remained in
contact with her own. She opened them when Camila stepped
back and couldn’t stop the face eating grin from spreading across
her face. She looked around at the faces of her friends who all had
similar expressions on their faces and Lauren noticed that other
people were also still watching the interaction with interest.
“Now,” Camila clarified when Lauren met her gaze once more.
“Just…slow…ok?” Lauren laughed, feeling as though her chest was
going to explode with the happiness that she felt. “Ok,” Lauren
agreed and this time she didn’t hesitate to throw her arms around
Camila’s shoulders and pull her into a hug. She kissed the side of
Camila’s temple lightly before releasing her again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60562024464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter12 5/9 “Hey, can I see that?” Ally said, pointing
to Camila’s note in Lauren’s hand. Camila nodded and took a seat
beside Lauren, whilst Dinah returned to her original seat opposite.
Normani leaned over the table to read along with Ally and they
both smiled as they finished. “You’re really articulate,” Ally
commented handing the pages back to Lauren. “I don’t want to
offend you but I’m kind of surprised.” Camila shrugged in
 response pointing to her head. “It…still works.” “Yeah but you
struggle to write and coordinate your hands,” Ally said
interestedly. “So how did you type that up?” Camila smiled as she
motioned pressing one key at a time with the index finger of her
right hand. “Did it take you long?” Dinah asked. Camila squinted
her eyes a little as she thought and then held up six fingers. “Six
minutes,” Dinah replied. “Impressive, you’re obviously getting
better.” Camila shook her head and made an upward gesture with
her index finger. “Hours?” Dinah asked incredulous. Camila
nodded, “Couldn’t…concentrate.” “Your speech is so bad today,”
Dinah told her and Camila gave her a look that said, “Well, duh?”
“What are you going to do now?” Normani asked her. “Are you
going to stick around for classes?” Camila shook her head. “How
will you get home?” Lauren asked her worriedly. “Walk,” Camila
answered. “Yeah, like hell you will,” Lauren told her standing up
from her chair as Camila watched. “I’ll drive you.” Camila shook
her head again. “School?” she questioned. “It’ll still be here when
I get back,” Lauren told her seriously. “Besides, you’re the one
that told me to live a little if I recall.” Camila looked at her for a
moment before glancing with the others pleadingly for help. “I
don’t think you’re going to change her mind,” Ally told her
honestly. “If I were you I’d just agree.” “Yeah Mila,” Dinah said,
“besides you already look like crap so I don’t know that another
forty minute walk will help that situation.” Camila laughed before
reaching over the table and hitting Dinah playfully with her right
 arm. “Rude,” she managed to say and Dinah chuckled. “Come on
Cabello,” Lauren said holding out her hand for Camila to take. “I’m
taking you home whether you like it or not.” Camila smiled at
Lauren’s gesture and placed her right hand in Lauren’s left,
allowing her to pull her up out of the seat she was occupying.
Camila entwined their fingers together and Lauren glanced at
their interlocked hands happily. “I’ll be back soon,” Lauren told
the others. “You better be,” Dinah told her jokingly. “No funny
business ok?” Normani who was having a sip of water at the
moment, almost choked on her drink, spluttering in her seat as
Lauren gave Dinah an incredulous look. “Dinah,” she groaned
through gritted teeth feeling embarrassed, but Lauren relaxed
when Camila squeezed her hand reassuringly, her smile still in
place. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60562024464/trials-
andtribulationschapter12 6/9 Dinah gave her a wink in response
as Camila started leading Lauren to the parking lot, through the
quad of people, who still remained watching. “See you guys
later,” Normani called knowingly, perceptive to the fact that once
Lauren left school, she wouldn’t be coming back. Lauren threw
her a glance and waved goodbye, the other girls’ watching until
they were out of sight. The car ride back to Camila’s house was
quiet, but not the awkward silence that often falls between
strangers, comfortable silence. Camila rested her head against the
passenger window, looking out of it as Lauren drove. In the
background, the faint sound of the car engine and the radio could
be heard but otherwise they didn’t speak. Camila closed her eyes
for a few minutes and Lauren wondered whether she had a
headache or if she was just tired. Finally, Lauren pulled up outside
of Camila’s house and stopped the car. “Camila,” Lauren said
nudging her slightly when she didn’t respond. “Hey,” Lauren said
wiping a strand out of Camila’s face to see her eyes still closed.
“We’re here…” she trailed off. Lauren nudged Camila gently once
more and she stirred slowly, rubbing at the sleep in her eyes.
Camila lifted her head to look in Lauren’s direction, a dopey smile
on her face. “We’re here,” Lauren repeated pointing at the house.
“Already?” Camila asked. “Afraid so,” Lauren told her climbing out
of the car and walking around to open Camila’s door. She offered
Camila her hand to help her out and she took it gratefully,
struggling to find her balance. “Wow, you really are tired,” Lauren
commented. Camila yawned as if to make the point even more,
“Didn’t…sleep.” She said covering her mouth with her free hand.
“Here let me help you up to your room,” Lauren offered, leading
Camila along the path, her arm wrapped supportively round her
waist. At the door Lauren pressed down on the handle and found
it unlocked. “Is your mom at home?” “No,” Camila said. “Work.”
“You left your door unlocked,” Lauren told her seriously. Camila
seemed to wake up a little bit at that news. “I forgot.” She said
truthfully. “Ssshhit.” Lauren guided Camila through the door and
glanced around the house, checking for anything out of place.
“Everything looks the same,” Lauren noted as she followed
 Camila, closing the front door behind her. Camila trudged up the
stairs, one step at a time, holding onto the bannister firmly for
support with her right arm. Lauren continued to follow her up and
into her room, standing in the doorway as Camila collapsed on top
of the bed. She laughed lightly at the sight and Camila turned her
head to look at Lauren pointedly. “I’m sorry,” Lauren said, “but I
can’t believe you thought you’d be able to walk home.” “My
mistake,” Camila commented, stretching her limbs which still
ached from the seizure she’d had on Monday. Her left arm was
throbbing painfully but she’d never admit it to Lauren. She knew
she’d only worry and they’d managed to sort things out. “So I’ll
see you tonight?” Lauren asked, her left shoulder leaning against
the doorframe. “You’re going?” Camila asked. “Yeah,” Lauren
replied. “I have school remember.” “Don’t,” Camila said almost
pleading. “Please…stay…” “Camila you’re going to pass out from
exhaustion in a minute,” Lauren laughed. “You don’t need me to
stay here with you for that.” “Please,” Camila said again, shifting
her position and patting the bed beside her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60562024464/trialsand-
tribulationschapter12 7/9 “Are you sure?” Lauren asked stepping
into the room. “I thought you wanted to take things slow.” Camila
managed to raise her eyebrow at Lauren’s implied suggestion
which ruffled the other girl somewhat. “No,” Lauren said quickly,
“I didn’t mean…you know, it’s just…I don’t know what slow means
exactly…like…you know?” Camila smiled patting the bed again and
 Lauren climbed onto it beside her. She sat up, resting her back
against the head board. Camila moved closer to Lauren, snuggling
closer to the other girl and resting her head on her chest. “Ok?”
Camila asked hesitantly. “Yeah,” Lauren said smiling widely as she
wrapped an arm around Camila’s shoulders and pulled her into
her body further. “This is perfect.” “So…” Lauren said broaching
the subject delicately. “In regards to my previous comment…what
exactly does slow mean?” Camila tilted her head to look at Lauren
who was watching her face eagerly. “Kissing?” Lauren asked
probingly. Camila grinned widely, her huge, face eating grin which
made her dull eyes sparkle back to life. She craned her neck,
reaching up to take Lauren’s lips in her own, twisting her body
slightly as she did so. For the first time since Camila had originally
kissed her at the hospital, Lauren reciprocated back, exploring the
feel of Camila’s lips against her own. When she finally pulled back,
her head felt dizzy and light, possibly from a lack of oxygen, but
definitely from the overwhelming happiness that she felt in this
moment. Camila rested her head back onto Lauren’s chest and
she sunk down into a more supine position, keeping Camila close
to her body all the time. Lauren found Camila’s left hand and took
in gently in her own, lifting it up to her lips and kissing the back of
it gently. She lowered it back onto her own abdomen, playing
mindlessly with Camila’s fingers, twirling them around in her own.
She heard Camila’s soft snores as she very quickly fell asleep, her
body finally succumbing to its exhaustion. Lauren watched
 Camila’s features visibly relax, the scar on her forehead
lengthening slightly as her brow relaxed. Lauren took one last look
at Camila before closing her own eyes, herself not having slept
well last night after the events of the day. She smiled to herself;
the warmth of Camila’s body pressed close to hers and thought
about how much had changed in the last 24 hours. Everything has
changed, she thought, the song once again playing in her head,
the song that would now and forever remind her of Camila. She
thought about taking it slow, about what that might mean, but, if
it meant they could kiss and they could cuddle like they were
now, then Lauren was more than happy with slow, in fact, slow
would more than likely quickly become one of her most favourite
things. A/N: Hopefully you will pleased to hear that there is no
cliffhanger this chapter. Apparently people don’t like those so
much, lol. Anyway, enjoy x
Chapter 13
Lauren woke a few hours later, Camila’s small form still tucked
closely into her side, her left arm draped across Lauren’s lap, her
head resting on Lauren’s abdomen. Lauren found that her own
arms were wrapped loosely around Camila’s shoulders, her left
hand feeling numb after the way it had been positioned whilst
they slept, Camila’s shoulder pressing into one of the nerves.
Lauren lifted her arm off of Camila, wriggling her fingers slowly,
opening and closing her fist in an attempt to restore some
sensation to the extremity. She grimaced slightly at the pins and
 needles which spread throughout her arm, the feeling
uncomfortable and peculiar. Lauren wondered whether this was
how Camila’s left hand felt all the time and glanced down at
where it lay across her lap, her splint, as always, in situ. Lauren
stayed as she was for a while longer, admiring Camila’s sleeping
form in her arms and smiling contentedly to herself. She’d never
thought of herself as being lucky before, but, lying with Camila,
the knowledge that she was willing to give them a chance, made
Lauren feel especially lucky. She honestly couldn’t think of a single
deed big enough to justify that kind of karma, but, she was
grateful for it all the same. After Camila had stirred awake, the
two of them had sat and watched some cartoons on the TV fixed
to the bedroom wall for a while. Camila who was still tired from
both a lack of sleep last night and her seizure a few days ago had
drifted in and out of sleep numerous times. Each time, Lauren had
chuckled to herself at the discovery that she was in fact talking to
absolutely noone, her once captive audience instead unconscious
and snoring lightly. Finally Camila had woken up properly and
together they’d made their way over to Normani’s house for their
regular Wednesday night custom of movies and food. It had been
nice to get back to some normality after the events of the last few
days and the teasing jokes had started almost as soon as Lauren
had entered Normani’s room. As always, Camila remained highly
oblivious to Lauren’s plight as the other girls, particularly Normani
and Dinah, asked her repetitively why she’d not come back to
 school, raising their eyebrows suggestively as they did so. For her
part, Camila had responded matter of factly to the girls’
questions, missing the subtle insinuations completely and stating
that she’d asked Lauren to stay with her before revealing that
they’d then fallen asleep together on the bed. Lauren had blushed
profusely at Camila’s words and the teasing only intensified as a
result. Eventually, after what had seemed like an eternity, they’d
settled down to watch the movie in Normani’s lounge, Dinah lying
on her front on the floor, Ally and Normani sat with their backs
against the couch. Camila and Lauren had occupied the couch
itself, behaving for the most part as they normally did, nothing
much really changing in their personal relationship except an
exponential increase in the physical contact that they shared.
There was of course the addition of what was soon becoming one
of Lauren’s favourite things to do with Camila, kissing. Camila
might not have had much experience when it came to kissing, but,
Lauren would gladly admit that she was definitely the best kissing
partner that she’d ever had. Camila remained off school again the
following day, having to go to the hospital for an appointment
with her neurologist to review both her ongoing progress after
the accident but also how she was after the seizure she’d had.
He’d reviewed her medication and encouraged Camila to wear a
medical alert bracelet in the event that she should have another
seizure in the future. Lauren hadn’t been able to see Camila at all
Thursday evening because of her commitment to softball after
 school and her dad
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 2/12 taking everyone out for dinner to
celebrate his new promotion at work in the evening but she’d
kept in contact through text, asking her how her appointment had
gone and if she was feeling better. Lauren had even called Camila
to check in with her before she went to bed after returning home
from the restaurant, eagerly anticipating their reunion the next
day at school. Lauren stood waiting at Camila’s locker at the start
of lunch, eating a granola bar as a way to appease the constant
complaints from her stomach until she was able to sit down
properly and eat with the others. She was leaning on the lockers
with her right elbow, facing down the hall in the direction of
Camila’s geography class and stood up when she saw her round
the corner and approach where she stood loitering. Camila raised
her eyebrow slightly in greeting but said nothing, instead turning
to her locker and opening it with some difficulty. Lauren noted
that Camila still looked tired but was glad to see that it was
nowhere near as much as she had done on Wednesday. Her eyes
were no longer surrounded by heavy bags and her complexion
had returned to its healthier looking natural hue but, her eyes
looked dark and moody, her face somewhat sullen. “What’s
wrong?” Lauren asked her concerned, Camila’s lack of verbal
greeting worrying her a little. Camila opened her bag and reached
in to pull out a couple of textbooks, unburdening them in her
locker out of the way. “Well,” Camila started throwing a container
of her painkillers into the locker carelessly. “Firstly, Itold my
parents about us yesterday.” “You what?” Lauren asked panic
stricken. “Don’t worry,” Camila told her, a small smile creeping
onto her lips for the first time since she’d arrived. “It’s fine. At this
point I think they’re so happy that I’m alive they’d probably let me
date a seventy year old man if I wanted to.” Camila scrunched her
nose up at the thought, her words finally registering in her own
head. “Gross,” she commented taking out one of her workbooks
that she’d need this afternoon, evidently imagining the scenario in
her head. “Anyway, they weren’t exactly thrilled but they aren’t
against it so, I guess that’s something right?” Camila reached into
her locker searching around for another container of tablets
which she had to take over lunch, and struggling to grasp them in
her hands as she continued. “The only thing is that we have to
leave my bedroom door open when you’re around without the
other girls,” Camila informed her. “I mean, I don’t know what they
think we could possibly get up to…my hands don’t work properly.”
Lauren almost choked on her granola bar at Camila’s words.
“Jesus Camila,” she managed to splutter through a coughing fit.
“What?” Camila asked innocently, pausing what she was doing for
a moment to look at Lauren, genuinely not understanding what
she’d said. “Did you even mean to say that?” Lauren asked her
incredulously. “Say what?” Camila replied confused. “Do you even
know what you said?” Lauren asked her laughing slightly at the
 puzzled expression on Camila’s face. “About your hands.” She
clarified continuing when Camila remained just as perplexed.
“That they don’t work properly.” “They don’t work properly.”
Camila replied seriously. Lauren chuckled at Camila’s
obliviousness to what she’d said. Dinah had once told Lauren that
this sometimes happened after her accident and it had
occasionally led to some hilarious comments that had left her
laughing for hours and Camila looking completely baffled.
Apparently, Camila her attention poor since her head injury would
be thinking about a few things in her head at once and from time
to time, as she vocalised these out loud, she’d occasionally just
merge two thoughts together. Lauren assumed that this is what
had just happened with Camila discussing her parents thoughts
about the change in their relationship and struggling to get hold
of her medication in her locker at the same time.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 3/12 “It wasn’t so much what you said,”
Lauren told her lightly, “It was more what you insinuated.” “What
did I insinuate?” Camila asked, still watching Lauren, her
medication momentarily forgotten. “You know what, never mind”
Lauren laughed. Camila shrugged in response and went back to
searching for her medication. “So if it’s not your parents that are
the problem,” Lauren started. “Then what is?” Camila finally
found the container she was looking for and threw it into her bag
before pulling out a scrunched up piece of paper and handing it to
Lauren. “Is this your math quiz from last week?” Lauren asked her,
glancing over the page in her hands and noticing the large ‘F’
written in the corner with red marker pen. “Yes,” Camila told her
doing her bag up and placing it on the floor as she turned to look
at Lauren who stood watching her. “Ifailed it.” She finished
frustrated. Lauren examined the page in her hands closely and
frowns. “Camila half the questions aren’t even answered.” Lauren
stated pointedly. “What happened? You know this stuff; we
studied for the test together last week. You helped me.” “I know,”
Camila groaned clearly annoyed at herself, closing her locker
firmly. “I took AP calculus last year. This isn’t even any new
material. I’ve studied a lot of it before.” “So what happened?”
Lauren asked again. “Did you have a headache?” “No,” Camila
told her honestly, “Ijust couldn’t concentrate properly.” “Well,
surely the person that scribed for you could tell Mr Lopez that.”
Lauren offered, “perhaps he’ll let you do a makeup test after
school in one of your sessions with Miss Lovato?” “Maybe,”
Camila noted as she leant her left shoulder against her locker to
face Lauren properly. “Ijust hate using my disability as an excuse
though.” “It’s not an excuse if it’s true Camila.” Lauren told her
earnestly. “Yeah but still…” Camila started, “If I keep using it as an
excuse, what is there to make me actually do any work? I could
just ride out the rest of high school, using my disability as an
excuse for everything, never completing assignments or finishing
projects.” “That isn’t you and you know it.” Lauren responded.
 “The teachers here know that too. Camila, everyone can see how
hard you work. If there’s a chance that he’ll let you resit the test
then surely the least you can do is ask?” “Fine,” Camila said, “I’ll
ask alright?” “So is that it then?” Lauren asked her. “That’s why
you look so miserable to be here.” “No it’s not just that,” Camila
told Lauren, her arms crossed in front of her. “What else is it
then?” Lauren asked her interestedly. “It’s just, I hate everyone
looking at me all the time,” Camila admitted. “People have been
doing it all day, it’s like I’m a leper or something.” Lauren smiled
at Camila sadly, placing a comfortingly hand on top of her
shoulder. “Just ignore them,” Lauren offered encouragingly.
“Easier said than done,” Camila commented. “Are they like this
with you as well?” Lauren thought about her question for a
moment before answering, “No.” “So it’s the seizure then,”
Camila thought out loud obviously thinking it had been about the
kiss they’d shared in the quad yesterday. “You know it wasn’t like
this when I first came back to school after the accident.” She went
on. “Yeah but it’s different when people can see it Camz,” Lauren
expressed, the nickname rolling off her tongue without a second
thought. Camila smiled at the sound of it as Lauren continued.
“It’s one thing to hear about your accident but, they weren’t
there, so they don’t really understand what happened but, they
saw you have a seizure, maybe
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 4/12 not the whole thing but, Miss Lovato
 was really worried about you,” she paused momentarily to allow
her words to sink in. “It probably just freaked them out that’s all.
Miss Lovato is normally so calm and composed it probably just
scared everyone. They’ll get over it in a few days and move onto
something else.” “I hope so,” Camila replied. “I hate being the
centre of attention.” Camila bent to pick up her bag but struggled
to hold it properly, her left arm still sore from the other day.
“Here let me take that for you,” Lauren offered holding out her
hand readily. “You don’t have to,” Camila said still struggling to lift
her bag off the floor. “I know I don’t have to,” Lauren told her
bending down to retrieve the bag herself, “but I want to alright?
Besides, isn’t this what people do for the people they’re taking it
slow with? You know, act all chivalrous and gallant.” Camila
smiled at Lauren’s words as she placed Camila’s bag over her
shoulder. “I suppose,” Camila said standing up straight, her
shoulder coming away from the locker she’d been leaning on.
Lauren smiled back at Camila just as someone collided with the
back of her as they ran past carelessly, sending her flying into the
smaller girls side and Camila into the locker forcefully. “Hey,
watch where you’re going!” Lauren shouted after him as she
regained her balance and stood up straight again, “Asshole!” She
added for good measure before turning around to face Camila
who was clutching her left wrist, a grimace on her face. “Shit,” she
mumbled between gritted teeth. “Are you alright?” Lauren asked
concerned dropping the bags on the floor at her feet and stepping
 closer to Camila. “Yeah,” Camila told her grimacing once more,
“I’m sure it’s just from the bruising.” “Here, let me look,” Lauren
requested. Camila lifted her left arm up for Lauren to inspect and
she takes it gently in her own, removing the splint carefully.
Lauren notes the dark purple bruising now flecked with traces of
green across the back of Camila’s wrist, extending into her
forearm. “Can you move it?” Lauren asked her meeting her gaze.
Camila winced as she moved her wrist back and forth slightly. She
paused a moment before wiggling her fingers, testing their
flexibility. “Perhaps you should get it checked out.” Lauren
suggested. “No,” Camila replied quickly. “It’ll be fine.” “Why not?”
Lauren asked, “There’s no harm in getting it checked out.” “It’s
probably just a sprain.” Camila told her. “You hate medical
professionals that much?” Lauren asked lightly. “I’ve had my fair
share of them over the last few months,” Camila responds only
half joking. “They’re nice and everything, but, yeah, I’ve had
enough of them.” “Here,” Lauren said lifting Camila’s wrist to her
lips and kissing it lightly. Camila smiled at the gesture. “What are
you doing?” Camila asked her laughing in amusement. “Trying to
make it feel better.” Lauren informed her. “Did that help?” Camila
pondered the question for a minute before saying, “I’m not sure.
Maybe you should try it again?” Lauren smiled before kissing
Camila’s wrist once more. “Oh yeah,” Camila started playfully, “it
does kind of make it feel better you know.” “What about now?”
Lauren asked before kissing Camila firmly on the lips.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 5/12 “Mmhmm,” Camila responded her
mouth still securely pressed against Lauren’s. “Yeah, that’s
better,” she finished as they separated. “Ugh,” Dinah groaned as
she approached the pair of them. They turned in her direction
amused at their friend’s response. “You two have literally been
‘kind of’ an unofficial thing,” she said making air quotations with
her fingers, “for what…a day? And you’re already making me want
to vomit rainbows because you’re so sickeningly adorable. Am I
going to have to place a daily limit on your PDA?” “Only if you
manage to limit Normani and Arin’s,” Lauren told her seriously. “I
swear I’m losing weight because I can’t eat whilst having to
endure their PDA at lunch.” “I’ll see what I can do,” Dinah
promised laughing. “That’s all I ask,” Lauren said before turning to
Camila, “Here.” She said, taking Camila’s hand once more and
putting the splint back on cautiously, her fingers gracing Camila’s
skin lightly. “Good as new.” “Great,” Camila laughed again. “Now
if you could fix my brain that’d really help me out.” “Oh stop it,”
Lauren scolded her, picking up both hers and Camila’s bags to
place them over her shoulder as they started to make their way
towards the quad. “Your brain is fine.” Camila gave Lauren a
pointed look. “I didn’t say it was amazing,” Lauren laughed, “but,
I’ve seen worse.” “You know you’re surprisingly coherent when
you’re not tired…or you know, post seizure,” Dinah noted
encouragingly. “It’s amazing what some sleep will do for you.”
“Perhaps you should listen to your doctor and actually take your
sleeping pills,” Lauren suggested. “What all of them?” Camila
asked deadpan. “Are you joking?” Dinah asked uncertainly. “Of
course I’m joking.” Camila said in response. “Ok, well for future
reference I’m prohibiting the use of any suicide jokes from you,”
Dinah told her seriously. “Agreed,” Lauren approved. “Well then
I’m vetoing any pranks from you,” Camila replied. “Ok done,”
Dinah agreed. “You’re no fun to prank now that you’re all injured
anyway. It makes it too easy. I need more of a challenge…I was
thinking of moving on to Normani.” Camila yawned. “Are you
seriously tired?” Lauren asked her. “You’ve been sleeping for the
majority of the last three days.” “Yes,” Camila answered. “I think
the more sleep I actually get, the more my body wants.” “It’s
probably catching up on all the sleep you’ve been missing out on
since the accident.” Lauren said. “Or is Lauren keeping you up?”
Dinah asked teasingly a small chuckle escaping her lips. “Dinah!”
Lauren protested. “I’m sorry but it’s so easy to tease you,” Dinah
laughed. “It’s hilarious.” “Why does no one tease Camila like
this?” Lauren asked her seriously. “Like what?” Camila asked her
attention having been occupied with other things momentarily.
“That’s why,” Dinah said flatly. “Fine, fair point.” Lauren groaned
before turning to Camila. “I wish I could do that Camz.” “Do
what?” Camila asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 6/12 “Never mind.” Lauren said meeting
 Dinah’s eyes and laughing. They finally reached the other’s sat
outside at their normal table and joined them, Camila sitting
beside Lauren and Dinah taking the vacant seat beside Ally.
Normani sat with Arin, his arm draped casually around her
shoulder. “Hi,” they greeted each other in one big ruckus of noise.
“How are you feeling Camila?” Normani asked having not seen
her before now because they had different home rooms. “Better
thanks,” Camila answered. “She’s still tired though,” Lauren
added. “And…” Dinah began animatedly. “She’s sickeningly
displaying a lot of PDA for someone who is supposedly going
‘slow’” “Even the other night you guys couldn’t stop touching
each other,” Ally noted laughing. “It almost got to the point where
I couldn’t tell whose limb was whose.” “I think it’s kind of cute,”
Normani approved. “I’ve never seen Lauren like this with any of
her other girlfriends.” Lauren gave Normani a glare to silence her
but she continued regardless, determined to embarrass her. “She
literally can’t do enough for you she’s so smitten,” Normani told
Camila who reached for Lauren’s hand under the table calmingly.
Sensing Lauren’s discomfort Arin quickly changed the subject. “So
is everyone coming to the game tonight?” he asked. “Don’t we
always?” Dinah replied seeing right through him. “Is Siope
coming?” He responded in an attempt to keep the conversation
going. “Yeah he’ll be here,” Dinah informed him. “Siope wouldn’t
miss it for anything. You know how much he likes football.” “We
should all go and grab some dinner after the game.” Arin
 suggested. “What do you think Ally? Will that be alright with
Troy?” “I’ll check with him but I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She said in
response. “Girls?” Arin asked Camila and Lauren. Lauren looked at
Camila questioningly, raising an eyebrow uncertainly. “Ok,”
Camila said finally. “Sounds like fun.” “I guess you can count us
in,” Lauren said happily. “Aww…” Normani cooed. “This will be
the first time Lauren’s not the fifth wheel on our Friday night
dates.” “Exciting times,” Arin noted jokingly. “Do they have
greeting cards for this kind of occasion?” Ally asked playfully. “Oh
my god,” Lauren protested, “Guys, seriously?” “Aww this will be
your first official date,” Dinah commented in realisation. “It’ll be
my first ever date,” Camila commented matter of factly, only half
listening to the conversation, once again distracted and not
realising Lauren was being mocked. Lauren smiled at Camila’s use
of the word ‘date.’ For someone who wanted to take things
slowly, she doesn’t seem to mind participating in couple activities
such as dates. “What, ever?” Arin asked in disbelief. Camila
nodded her head as she swallowed some of her medication. She
followed it with a sip of water from the bottle in her hand. Lauren
observed that she had lifted her left hand up to her stomach,
holding it awkwardly. Lauren met her gaze, “Seriously?!” Camila
nodded again, swallowing another sip of her drink.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 7/12 “Yeah,” Camila said, once her mouth
was finally empty of the liquid. “Wow, no pressure to make it
 good then Lauren,” Normani said playfully. Lauren felt her
stomach lurch slightly at Normani’s words. “No, you’ll be fine
Lauren,” Dinah told her, “I mean it’s not like Camila has anything
to compare it to. Isn’t that right Camila?” “What?” Camila asked,
having not heard the conversation, her thoughts elsewhere. “Ok,
where’d you go?” Dinah asked noticing that Camila had been
staring off into space. “Where’s your head at? Dinah questioned.
“Sometimes I swear you’re only half here.” “What?” Camila asked
a look of confusion on her face. “Nowhere, I’ve been here the
whole time.” “I didn’t mean literally?” Dinah laughed. “What were
we just talking about then?” “Umm, tonight?” Camila replied
unsure. “Yeah, ok, but, what specifically?” Dinah probed. Camila
glanced around at the rest of the assembled group, their faces
waiting for her response expectantly. “Dates?” She questioned
raising her eyebrow uncertainly. “Ok Lauren,” Dinah commented
exasperated. “I have no idea how you put up with her when she’s
like this?” “Was that wrong?” Camila asked turning to Lauren.
Lauren smiled at Camila’s obvious confusion. “No,” Lauren told
her, placing an arm around her shoulder reassuringly. “Ok now
Ifeel like I’ve missed something.” Camila said slightly
embarrassed. Lauren made a face, “You miss a lot of things
Camila,” she informed the smaller girl. “It’s alright though, I kind
of like that about you.” Lauren kissed Camila on her cheek as she
pouted. “Ok no seriously though,” Camila said. “What did I miss?”
“We were talking about your expectations for your first date
 tonight with Lauren.” Normani told her laughing. “You know,
whether you even have any?” “Oh,” Camila said in surprise. “I
don’t know. What do people even do on dates?” “Aww…you’re so
cute,” Ally noted smiling at Camila’s words. Lauren laughed a little
at Camila’s innocence. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be just like every
other Friday night…although now I guess I can do this…” Lauren
leant over and kissed Camila on the lips, enjoying the feel of her
warm, soft skin against her own. “Eww….” Dinah joked, “I thought
I’d forbid this.” Dinah laughed as Lauren and Camila separated.
“You know the terms Dinah.” Lauren laughed in response and
Dinah turned to Normani and Arin with a serious expression on
her face. “Ok so, listen,” Dinah said addressing them. “We need to
talk about something?” Lauren couldn’t help but laugh as Dinah
went on to explain the terms of her deal with Lauren and Camila.
For their response, Normani and Arin decided to completely
ignore Dinah’s words and kissed instead, making the other girl roll
her eyes and Lauren laugh once more. They continued to sit
together until the end of lunch when they finally separated to
attend their different classes. Despite her own words to Camila,
Lauren couldn’t help but feel nervous about this evening
throughout the rest of the school day. After all, tonight was
technically still their first date night and she wanted it to be
perfect for Camila, even if they were taking things slowly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 8/12 After school Lauren waited for Camila
at her locker once again. She had her extra study period with Miss
Lovato, as she did every day and Lauren wanted to finalise her
plans for later with her before tonight. “So tonight?” Lauren
questioned, leaning up against the locker beside Camila’s as she
was prone to do when the other girl arrived. “It’s a date right?”
“How do you mean?” Camila asked her ambiguously. “Like, well, I
know you wanted to take things slowly,” Lauren said. “I didn’t
know if we could go on dates or….what?” “Yeah,” Camila laughed
putting her books in her locker and closing it. “Of course we can. I
mean, there’s slow and then there’s slow.”Camila told her. “I like
you,” she tried to reassure her. “Didn’t you read my letter? That
thing took me forever to write.” Lauren smiled brightly at her
words. “So it is a date?” she asked once again, desperate for the
clarification. “I thought we’d already agreed it was at lunch?”
Camila said. “Or did I miss that part of the conversation? I can’t
really remember.” “I know but, I didn’t know if you just went
along with it because the others were there,” Lauren said
honestly. “Well I didn’t,” Camila said shifting the weight of her bag
on her right shoulder. “Right, well, in that case, I want it to be a
proper date.” Lauren said happily. “What does that mean?”
Camila asked having no experience in the matter. “I’m going to
come to your house and pick you up at 6.30. I’ll drive us to the
game.” Lauren told her. Camila smiled. “I never would have
guessed you as the romantic type, “Camila said. “Perhaps it’s just
you that brings it out in me.” Lauren returned. “Ok,” Camila
 replied. “Well, I’ll be waiting then. Just…look, don’t take this the
wrong way but, no kissing on the front porch or anything alright?
Camila said anxiously. “Ithought you said your parents are ok with
us?” Lauren asked. “Well, they kind of are but, I don’t want to rub
it in their faces or anything. Do you mind?” Camila questioned.
Lauren shakes her head, “No not at all. I can understand that.”
“Are you sure?” Camila asked. “Of course,” Lauren said. “Ifelt the
same when Ifirst told my parents I was interested in girls. It’s one
thing for them to hear that you like girls but it’s a completely
different thing to see it.” “So you’re not mad?” Camila probed.
“No,” Lauren said, taking Camila’s hand in her own and squeezing
it reassuringly. “I’m definitely not mad.” “Ok,” Camila sighed
relieved as they start to walk hand in hand together towards Miss
Lovato’s classroom. “So apart from picking me up how else will it
be a proper date?” “Ahh, you’ll just have to wait and see,” Lauren
replied cryptically. “You’re really not going to tell me?” Camila
groaned. “Nope,” Lauren said frustratingly. “Where’s the fun in
that?” They came to a stop outside of Miss Lovato’s classroom
and Camila pouted. “Ok so I’ll see you later,” Lauren told her,
trying her best to ignore the adorable expression on her face and
pecking her on the lips quickly. “6pm,” Camila says, “I’ll be ready.”
“6.30pm,” Lauren corrected her. Camila holds up her hand,
“6.30…right. I knew that.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 9/12 “I’ll text you to remind you.” Lauren
 informed her. “Alright,” Camila said as Lauren started to move
away. “Don’t forget to ask about retaking that math test,” Lauren
called from up the hallway. Camila gave her a thumbs up in
acknowledgement and disappeared inside the classroom for her
study session. Later, Lauren found herself outside Camila’s house,
sat in her car, on the verge of becoming a nervous wreck. She
didn’t know what was wrong with her, it’s not she’d never been to
a football game before. In fact, it’s not as though she’d never
been to a football game with Camila before. They’d gone to watch
Arin play last Friday with the rest of the girls, Siope and Troy. So
why should tonight be any different? Because tonight’s a date.
Lauren thought giving herself heart palpitations. Shit. She ran a
hand through her hair nervously and got out of the car, checking
herself quickly in the wind mirror before making her way up the
path towards Camila’s front door. She paused hesitantly for a
moment and took a deep breath before knocking determinedly on
the door. Camila’s mom opened it and Lauren felt herself panic,
memories of hers and Camila’s conversation regarding their
‘relationship’ flitting through her mind. “Hi Lauren,” Sinu greeted
kindly. “Camila is just sorting something out upstairs. Do you want
to come in and wait?” “Umm….” Lauren said feeling decidedly
uncomfortable and avoiding Sinu’s questioning look. “Yeah…ok
thanks.” Sinu laughed at Lauren’s behaviour and moved aside,
allowing her to enter. “You know you don’t normally have this
much trouble meeting my gaze or speaking to me.” Sinu stated
honestly. “You sound like Camila does on a bad day.” “I’m sorry,”
Lauren said sincerely. “Lauren,” Sinu said causing Lauren to look
up at her. “Camila told us about the two of you…” “I know, she
told me” Lauren replied. “Is it weird? It’s probably weird isn’t it?
I’m sorry…I don’t know…it was weird for my parents when Itold
them.” “Actually, it’s not really that much of a surprise,” Sinu told
her truthfully. “It isn’t?” Lauren asked. “No,” Sinu said pausing
momentarily. “I think I’ve always kind of known how you felt
about her,” Sinu laughed. “You’re not exactly the most subtle at
hiding your feelings. I think you tend to wear your heart on your
sleeve a little bit.” “So I’ve been told,” Lauren commented.
“However,” Sinu continued. “It was her behaviour that kind of
gave her away a little bit,” Sinu said thoughtfully. “What do you
mean?” Lauren asked her. “Well, Camila only really has Dinah as a
friend,” Sinu informed her. “She’s never really been that outgoing
or popular at school, so it was nice when she started hanging out
with Normani, Ally and you. She talked about you a lot.” Sinu told
her. “I mean she talks about Ally and Normani too but, mostly she
talks about you. She couldn’t sing your praises enough. It was
always ‘Lauren this, and Lauren that.’ It’s different to how she
talks about the other girls.” “Oh,” was all Lauren said in response,
surprised. “We’ve been watching her over the last few weeks and
she’s so happy and animated when she’s talking about you. It’s
almost been like we’ve had the old Camila back at times.” Sinu
said a wistful look on her face. “If it’s a girl that can make her feel
like that, that can bring her back to us then me and her father are
ok with that. At the end of the day every parent just wants their
child to be happy, and you make Camila happy.” Sinu told her.
“Yes, it might not have been what we’d initially envisaged for her,
but, it’s her life, one she thankfully still has so…she is free to do
with it as she wants. We’ll support any decision she makes.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 10/12 “Ok,” Lauren said, taken aback by her
words slightly. “Plus it helps that we like you Lauren,” Sinu
complemented, patting the youngsters shoulder encouraging. “So
just, try and relax alright?” “Alright,” Lauren said as she heard
footsteps coming down the stairs and Camila appeared wearing
her tight blue denim jeans, converse and sweater. “Hi,” she
greeted smiling at Lauren and her mom. “Hi,” Lauren said back
returning the smile. “Have a good time at the game,” Sinu said
genuinely as she walked over to Camila who stood on the bottom
stair, her right hand holding onto the bannister. Sinu kissed her on
the forehead. “Don’t be out too late ok?” “We won’t.” Camila
promised as her mum rubbed her cheek with her thumb and
disappeared promptly into the kitchen. Camila came down the
last step as Lauren walked over to meet her. “Are you ready to
go?” Lauren asked her. “Yeah,” she said grabbing her jacket and
scarf from the rack. Camila struggled to get her left arm into the
sleeve so Lauren helped her into it. “Thanks,” Camila said
gratefully “You’re welcome,” Lauren replied. She reached out and
 offered Camila her hand. Camila took it, lacing their fingers
together as Lauren opened the door and they stepped outside,
Camila closing it behind her. You look really nice,” Lauren told her
as they made their way down the path, glancing out Camila’s
outfit and appreciating the way Camila’s jeans hugged her in all
the right places. “So do you,” Camila reciprocated smiling.
“Thanks,” Lauren said graciously. “Your mom says that you were
sorting something out,” Lauren said. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Camila replied. “I just managed to break my splint.”
Camila held up her left hand which was noticeably bare. “I was
just trying to fix it.” “No luck?” Lauren asked. “None,” Camila said
“I’ll have to ask my physical therapist to have a look at it on
Tuesday for me. It feels strange not wearing it.” “I bet,” Lauren
said as they reached her car and she opened the door for Camila,
gesturing for her to get in. Camila sat herself in the passenger seat
as Lauren closed the door carefully behind her. She walked
around to the driver’s side of the car and climbed in beside
Camila, putting her key in the ignition and turning it gently. “Wait
a minute,” Camila said suddenly, placing a hand on hers to stop
her putting the car into drive. “What?” Lauren asked. “Did you
forget something?” “Yes,” Camila said mischievously. “This,” she
said as she leant over the middle console and kissed Lauren firmly
on the lips. “What about your parents?” Lauren asked her voice
breathy. “I thought you said not to.” “They’re not around now,”
Camila informed. Lauren pointed to the kitchen window of
 Camila’s house where Sinu stood watching them an amused
expression on her face. “Um…Camz,” Lauren said and Camila
smiled at the nickname again, following Lauren’s hand to see
what she was pointing towards. “Well, it’s not flaunting it if she
chooses to watch is it?” Camila told Lauren simply.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60659277901/trialsand-
tribulationschapter13 11/12 Camila waved goodbye at her mom
happily as Lauren put the car into gear. She pulled out from the
curb and started heading towards the school to meet up with the
others. Once on the road, Lauren felt Camila reach over and place
her hand on her knee Lauren took it up in her right hand which
she dropped down from the steering wheel. She started playing
with Camila’s fingers mindlessly, turning her head slightly to
glance at the girl who was sat watching her, a face eating smile
plastered across her features. “What?” Lauren asked her amused.
“Nothing,” Camila said as Lauren glanced back at the road in front
of her. “I just think that this is my favourite date so far.” Lauren
turned and smiled at Camila brightly, her stomach fluttering
slightly at her words. “Yeah well,” Lauren said looking back to the
road. “You don’t have anything else to compare it to.” “I don’t
think it would make a difference if I did.” Camila told her
sincerely. “It’s only just started.” Lauren told her laughing. “I
know,” Camila replied shifting in her seat a little. “That’s exactly
what Ilike about it.” Lauren turned her attention back to Camila,
her smile growing exponentially. ‘Yeah,’ she thought, still unsure
what exactly she’d done in a past life to deserve the girl sat beside
her. She turned her attention back to the road. “I am most
definitely lucky.”
Chapter 14
Lauren carefully pulled into a vacant parking space in the lot and
turned her key in the ignition, shutting off the car engine. She
turned to Camila who was gazing out of the passenger window in
the direction of the football field a thoughtful expression on her
face. “Hey,” Lauren said, observing Camila’s faraway expression
and noting the silence that had fallen between them. She placed a
hand on Camila’s arm and she turned her attention back to
Lauren, a smile gracing her lips reflexively. “Are you alright?”
Lauren asked her concerned. “If you’re not feeling up to this I can
take you home?” “No,” Camila replied quickly. “I don’t want to go
home.” “So you’re alright?” Lauren asked her. “It’s just you look
kind of tense… Are you finding this weird? This doesn’t have to be
a date if it’s too soon, we can…” “No,” Camila interrupted her,
placing a reassuring hand on Lauren’s knee. “I want it to be a
date.” “Ok,” Lauren said with evident relief in her voice. “So…then
what is it?” “I just, I don’t know how good my company will be
tonight, you know, as a date,” Camila told her, struggling to
express her thoughts clearly. “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
confused. “Well,” Camila started, dropping her eyes to her lap
where she was once again playing with her fingers nervously. “I
mean…it takes a lot for me to concentrate on the game so…you
 know…I sometimes lose the conversation that’s going on…I don’t
want…you’ll … I don’t mean to…it’s just…” “Camz,” Lauren said,
putting her hand under Camila’s chin and turning her head to
meet her gaze. “Don’t worry about it alright? Just…relax a little
bit.” “I’m really trying,” Camila said simply and Lauren smiled
sadly at her. “I know you are,” Lauren responded sincerely. “You
don’t have to try and be someone else with me though Camila,
you know that right?” she asked. “Yeah, but…” Camila started.
“No,” Lauren cut her off. “I know who you are,” Lauren told her
seriously. “I understand that sometimes things are difficult for you
and that you get lost or distracted. Those things don’t bother me,
ok? They’re part of the reason that I started to like you in the first
place.” “It might be frustrating for you though,” Camila said. “You
might get fed up of me asking you questions all the time…” “If you
ask me questions then I’ll answer them,” Lauren informed her
interjecting. “You’ll probably have to keep repeating yourself,”
Camila continued still worried. “Great! Ilove the sound of my own
voice,” Lauren joked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 2/11 “I’m serious,” Camila protested. “So
am I,” Lauren told her a smile creeping onto her lips. “I’ll repeat
things a hundred times if that’s what you need.” “What if I’m
trying to concentrate on the game and I don’t talk to you?” Camila
asked her worriedly. “You know, because I can’t, or Iforget, or…”
“Then we don’t talk,” Lauren replied simply. “We’ve sat in
 comfortable silence numerous times before Camila, and I’m sure
we’ll do it a whole lot more in the future.” “I know but this is a
date,” Camila said. “Aren’t you supposed to talk on dates? You
know, get to know each other better.” “That’s the great thing
about dating someone you’re already friends with,” Lauren
answered. “You already know them. It takes the pressure off a
little bit.” “I just don’t want you to be bored or to think that I
don’t want to be here with you or something…” Camila started,
“because I do, I…” “Camila,” Lauren interrupted earnestly. “We
could have stayed at your house, sat in complete silence and
watched a movie from separate seats tonight and this would still
be one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.” “You’re just saying
that,” Camila replied doubtfully. “I’m not,” Lauren assured her
sincerely. “I know that you don’t believe it but, it’s the truth. Time
wasted, sitting in silence with you, isn’t time wasted to me. In
fact, I think it’s time well spent.” Camila smiled slightly at Lauren’s
words. “I like being with you,” Lauren continued when Camila
didn’t say anything. “I read what you’d written in your letter to
me and I understand completely, alright? There’s no rush for me.
I’m happy taking things slowly. I promise.” “For now,” Camila told
her, “but, what about later on? There’ll come a point where you
want more and what if I’m still not ready?” “Then I’ll wait,” Lauren
said honestly. “What if I’m never ready?” Camila asked watching
Lauren’s face closely for her reaction. “What if I can never give
you everything that you want?” “Then, I’ll wait some more”
 Lauren began thoughtfully, “and if you decide that you just want
to be friends, then, we can be ok? I’d rather have you in my life as
a friend then not at all.” Camila played with her fingers in her lap
obviously still in thought. “Ok?” Lauren prompted her and Camila
looked at her once more, nodding her head in agreement. “Ok,”
she said in reply. “Let’s just see where this goes?” Lauren told her,
reaching for her right hand and squeezing it comfortingly. “We’ll
take it one day at a time, nice and easy.” “Alright,” Camila said
nodding her head in agreement. “I’m sorry, that was kind of a lot
wasn’t it?” “It’s fine,” Lauren replied laughing a little. “I’ve actually
always kind of liked the whole dark and brooding thing.” “Really?”
Camila asked slightly surprised, her mood brightening a little. “Oh
yeah,” Lauren said playfull, unbuckling her seat belt and pulling
her keys out of the ignition. “I don’t know why, I’m just kind of
drawn to it.” Camila smiled as Lauren got out of the car and she
followed her example, closing the passenger door firmly behind
her. Lauren came up beside her, locking the car with the key fob
and wrapping an arm around Camila’s shoulders as she led her
towards the football field. “Now,” Lauren said changing the
subject in an attempt to help lighten Camila’s mood slightly. “I
don’t know about you but I’m going to need something to eat
whilst we watch the game.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 3/11 “Aren’t we eating later with the
others?” Camila asked laughing. “Yeah,” Lauren said as she
 spotted the rest of their group assembled at the entrance to the
field awaiting their arrival, “but that’s not going to be for a while
yet. I’m thinking a pretzel each, an assortment of candy bars and a
couple of drinks should just about cover it…that is, unless you’re
not hungry.” Camila laughed at Lauren’s suggestion. “I’m always
hungry,” she told her truthfully. “That’s what Ithought,” Lauren
said, pulling Camila into her side a bit more and smiling widely as
they came to a stop in front of the others. “You two took your
time,” Normani said feigning annoyance, but smiling despite
herself. “Sorry,” Lauren said, “we got distracted.” “I bet you did,”
Dinah said teasingly, winking at Lauren and causing her to blush.
“We were talking,” Camila told them simply. “Just talking?”
Normani asked, raising her eyebrow suggestively at Lauren. “Oh
that’s right, I forgot,” Camila said finally noting one of the many
subtle suggestions that Lauren was constantly subjected to. She
feigned a sudden recollection and clicked the fingers of her right
hand dramatically. “The sex kind of put us behind as well.”
Normani’s face dropped in astonishment at Camila’s words and
the rest of the group looked at her in disbelief. Lauren felt her
face grow red hot at the thought of the two of them together, but
at the same time it registered a look of complete surprise at
Camila’s unexpected comment. “Wow,” Dinah laughed. “You
finally picked up on our insinuations?” Camila winked at Dinah,
grinning widely before reaching her right hand up to take hold of
Lauren’s which was still draped over her shoulder. She pulled
Lauren away from the group, leading her toward the concessions
stand, the others following closely behind her. “No but seriously,”
Dinah said trying to catch up with Camila, “How did you do that? I
can’t remember the last time that you did. You take things so
literally most of the time.” Lauren placed a hand on the small of
Camila’s back as they got in line and the latter turned to look at
Dinah. “Well maybe I’m learning.” Camila told her grinning at the
still stunned expressions on her friends faces. “It’s probably
because we do it so much,” Dinah said to Ally and Normani
theatrically. “She’s starting to subconsciously pick up on them.
We’ll need to be more careful from now on.” Camila frowned in
Dinah’s direction. “You guys say stuff like this a lot?” Camila asked
them. “All. The. Time.” Dinah told her. “You’ve never once
noticed. Not once.” Camila raised her eyebrow in surprise, “huh.”
She said simply in response as she moved to the front of the line.
They all got some concessions for the game, Lauren adamantly
refusing Camila’s offer to pay for some of the food. “It’s a date
remember?” Lauren told her pointedly. “So, I’m paying. No
arguments.” Camila thanked her as they made their way up into
the bleachers and found space for them all to sit together. Once
seated, Lauren handed Camila her pretzel and their group
continued to make amusing small talk until the game started.
Camila watched the game before her with difficulty, all her effort
put into watching each play, seemingly deep in concentration.
She’d never really watched football before. In fact, she‘d
 struggled to understand the rules even before the accident,
despite her dad having attempted to teach them to her on several
occasions. It was only once she’d become friends with Normani
and the others that she’d even started to attend the high school’s
Friday night games and she enjoyed them, she did, but, she just
wished that they were a little bit easier for her to follow. Lauren
on the other hand, had grown up
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 4/11 around football, her dad a lifetime
Miami Dolphins fan and her younger brother Chris had played it
since he was physically able to hold a ball. Whenever the Dolphins
played, her family would sit together around the TV and watch
the game. Lauren remembered the times that she’d sat perched
on her dad’s knee as a child with fondness, the two of them
watching the game together, thick as thieves, her dad patiently
explaining the rules to her, pointing out his favourite players and
the reasons why he liked them. Usually, Lauren enjoyed watching
Arin and the school team play, having an appreciation for the
game that her dad had instilled in her from an early age. However,
for the first time in a long time, Lauren wasn’t interested in the
battle occurring on the field before her, instead, she stared
unapologetically at Camila, taking in her features, every single
detail of her face. Lauren was captivated by everything about
Camila whilst she’s sat there, the other girls’ eyes roaming the
field in search of the ball which the quarterback had faked off to
 another player. She was captivated by Camila’s cute button nose
and the way she scrunched it up as she watched a player
succumbing to a hard tackle, by the way she bit her bottom lip
when the opponent stole the ball, by the way she smiled and
stood up, cheering loudly when the school team scored. Lauren
thought that everything about Camila was captivating, but, more
than anything else the effort she put into doing something that
everyone else found so easy was captivating. For Camila, paying
attention to something for more than ten minutes was normally a
challenge, so to be able to do it for two hours was extraordinary
in Lauren’s mind. Camila wouldn’t always succeed in her effort
but she’d always try, she’d try really hard because Arin played and
he was her friend. She’d try because Lauren and the rest of her
friends enjoyed watching the game, because she’d made it a
personal challenge to learn the rules and surprise her dad the
next time he watched a game. Camila would always try and
Lauren admired that about her. Camila turned to look at Lauren as
though sensing that she was being watched. She smiled as their
eyes met, reaching over and taking Lauren’s now empty hand in
her own. “Good game, huh?” Camila asked her enthusiastically. “I
wouldn’t know,” Lauren answered truthfully. Camila gave her a
questioning look. “You’re not watching?” Camila asked her
surprised. “No,” Lauren said making a face. “My view it much
better.” “What are you looking at?” Camila replied. “You,” Lauren
told her simply. For the second time tonight, Camila didn’t miss
 the subtle implication in the words, mostly because Lauren made
no effort to try and hid it, instead just saying what she thought
outright. It’s the first time that Lauren has ever seen Camila blush;
her face burned bright red, her gaze dropped shyly to the floor as
she bit her bottom lip in the way that Lauren yearned to do.
Lauren didn’t think it was possible for Camila to be any cuter than
she already was but, clearly she was mistaken, because the timid
Camila that now sat beside her was possibly the most adorable
version of the girl she’d ever seen. Lauren placed a hand on
Camila’s knee and the she looked up to meet Lauren eyes,
bashful. “You’re beautiful you know,” Lauren told her because it
was true and now that she could finally verbalise her thoughts out
loud she’d made a vow to tell Camila it every day until she finally
believed the words herself. “You’re just saying that,” Camila said
coyly. “No I’m not,” Lauren told her, reaching her hand up to
brush a strand of windswept hair out of Camila’s eyes. She tucked
it behind Camila’s ear, her hand lingering there for a moment until
Lauren reached it back up to trace a gentle line across the scar on
Camila’s forehead. She stayed there a moment, admiring the way
that Camila’s skin felt beneath her fingertips before gently moving
them down the side of her face to run lightly across her chin.
Without breaking contact, Lauren moved her hand up towards
Camila’s mouth and brushed her thumb lightly across the other
girls’ lips which formed into a wide grin beneath them. “I don’t
understand how you can’t see it,” Lauren stated seriously.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 5/11 “You know why I can’t” Camila said,
reaching up and taking hold of Lauren’s straying hand in her own
once again. “They’re just scars,” Lauren told her, removing her
hand from Camila’s for a moment to roll up the sleeve of her right
arm and show her a scar just above her elbow. “Here, see,”
Lauren said taking Camila’s hand in her own and placing it on top
of the thick scar she’d just unveiled. “We all have them.” Camila
traced the thick and taut imperfection with her own fingers
studying it closely. “Some just have better stories,” Lauren
continued smiling as Camila looked up to meet her eyes. “So,”
Camila started keenly. “What’s your story?” “Well,” Lauren
started rolling down her sleeve and taking Camila’s hand back into
her own eagerly, her skin feeling cold at the loss of contact. “I got
that little beauty when I played peewee softball.” “How?” Camila
asked with interest. “I was sliding into third base and landed on a
piece of metal that was concealed in the dirt surrounding it.”
Lauren told her. “It wouldn’t stop bleeding and I ended up having
to have ten stitches.” “Do you have any more?” Camila asked her.
“Hmm…” Lauren said thinking. “Oh yeah,” she lifted her chin
slightly to show Camila a well concealed scar just underneath her
chin. “I got this one pretending to be a gymnast at the park.”
Lauren told her laughing lightly. “Ithought I was amazing…” “Of
course you did,” Camila laughed. “I wasn’t as it turned out,”
Lauren chuckled. “Fell straight off the monkey bars and cracked
 my chin open on the floor. I almost gave myself concussion.”
Lauren noticed Camila shiver slightly and reflexively wrapped her
left arm around her shoulder, pulling Camila into her side. She
rubbed Camila’s arm with her hand, her head resting on Lauren’s
shoulder, as she tried to warm her up a little bit. Camila kissed the
back of Lauren’s right hand, which she held in her own right hand
lightly gratefully. “Ithink Ilike your stories better than mine,”
Camila told her, turning her face up to look at Lauren who was
watching her closely. “Yeah, well, to be honest Camila, yours isn’t
exactly Harry Potter, you know? I mean it’s alright, but, I’d
probably never make a movie about it.” Lauren joked and Camila
laughed lightly in response. “Besides, everyone enjoys other
people’s stories better than their own.” Lauren told her. “They’re
a nice distraction.” Camila informed her. “From what?” Lauren
asked her. “From everything,” Camila told her. “Before the
accident I used to read all the time you know. I used to really love
reading, getting lost in a book, falling in love with the characters,
seeing life through their eyes…” “And now?” Lauren asked.
“Now,” Camila started, “I still enjoy it but, it’s just harder work
that’s all.” “You know,” Lauren said, “I saw a quote somewhere
once that said, ‘A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.”
“Ilike that quote,” Camila told her smiling appreciatively. “Me
too,” Lauren said as she turned her attention back to the field, the
final quarter finally finishing, their school winning 50 39. “I don’t
want to go with the others to get something to eat,” Camila
shared suddenly. “Ok,” Lauren replied assuming Camila was tired
and wanted leave. “I’ll take you home if you want?” “No,” Camila
said, “I mean, I don’t want to go with them.” “Oh,” Lauren
responded surprised.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 6/11 “It’s too much for me to keep up with
the conversation when everyone is together,” Camila explained,
“and I like talking to you. I want to talk just with you…is that
alright? Can we go somewhere, just the two of us?” Lauren
couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face. “Of course,”
she said happily. “Whatever you want Camz.” So, whilst the
bleachers emptied and Arin went to shower, Lauren and Camila
made their excuses to the others. Camila, not wanting to offend
them, assumed the pretence of feeling tired and wanting to
return home. They said their goodbyes to one another, Lauren
telling Normani to congratulate Arin on the win and to tell him
that he’d played well. Once the usual conventions had been
followed, Lauren guided Camila down the bleachers and back to
her car, climbing into the drivers’ seat once she’d seen Camila into
her own the passenger one. “So,” Lauren said turning to Camila
once she’d buckled her seat belt and had turned on the engine.
“Where are we going?” “The beach” Camila said simply. Lauren
raised an eyebrow in interest. “The beach?” Lauren asked
amused. “That’s a little bit cliché for a first date isn’t it?” “Is that
ok?” Camila countered. “Is there any particular reason you want
 to go there?” Lauren asked her. “I just…I love the beach,” Camila
told her honestly. “I haven’t been there since I got out of the
hospital. I kind of miss it.” Lauren smiled sadly at Camila. “Then
the beach it is,” she said as she put the car in drive, pulled out of
her parking space and moments later the parking lot. About
fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the beach and Lauren shut
off the car, watching as Camila exited the car hastily in
excitement. Lauren climbed out quickly after her, locking the door
as she followed Camila onto the sand and towards the shore.
Lauren laughed to herself as Camila quickly kicked off her
converse and picked them up in her right hand, digging her feet
into the cool sand, burying them slightly beneath it. Lauren copied
Camila, taking off her own shoes and walking over to where
Camila stood. “Come on,” Camila said happily, reaching for
Lauren’s hand and pulling her towards the sea where the waves
were crashing against where they met land. She smiled at Lauren
brightly as she stepped into the refreshing water and wriggled her
toes, enjoying the feel of the wet sand as it covered her feet and
shifted beneath her. Camila stood for a moment in contentment,
listening to the sounds of the waves and inhaling the salty sea air
deeply into her lungs. Lauren stood beside her, watching Camila’s
behaviour reflectively. After a few minutes, Camila stepped out of
the water, moving away from the coastline slightly to sit down on
the sand facing out into the ocean. Lauren joined her, admiring
the joyful look on Camila’s face and how something so simple
 could so easily put it there. “I love it here,” Camila told her, her
eyes looking up at the dark night sky and examining the bright
white stars dotted throughout it. “I can see that,” Lauren replied
laughing lightly. “Why isn’t that you haven’t been back since the
accident?” “I don’t know,” Camila said honestly. “I guess I haven’t
really had time.” “You’re such a bad liar,” Lauren told her
knowingly. “Am not,” Camila protested. “You’ve been out of
hospital for what? Six weeks?” Lauren asked her. “Probably,”
Camila answered uncertain of the exact time frame. “So you’re
telling me that in six weeks you’ve not had time to come down
here once,” Lauren questioned probingly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 7/11 “I guess,” Camila replied shrugging her
shoulders slightly. “Well, Ithink you’re lying.” Lauren told her
amused. Camila played with the sand in front of her with her
fingers, contemplating. “You can tell me about it if you want?”
Lauren offered supportively. Camila met her eyes and shifted her
position so she was sitting crossed legged in the sand facing
Lauren. “What do you want to know?” Camila asked her. “What
do you want to tell me?” Lauren probed crossing her own legs and
resting her head in her hands. Camila looked back out to the see
as she spoke. “You know I used to come here all the time as a
kid,” Camila told her. “My mom and dad would bring me down
here and we’d spend hours making sandcastles and looking for
seashells.” Camila glanced back at Lauren as she continued. “My
dad would put me on his shoulders and we’d walk along the coast
watching people. We’d eat ice creams and he throw me into the
waves and play chase, him swimming after me at only half speed
so that I could beat him,” Camila told her soberly. “One day, I
remember, we were driving past the coast, it was raining really
badly and the wind was so strong I thought it was going to rip the
trees from their roots. I asked how the boats didn’t sink when the
waves so bad and he’d turned to me in the car and told me that a
smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. I never quite understood
what he meant by that.” Lauren smiled at Camila’s story. “Until
now,” Camila said thoughtfully. “Until the accident happened.
Now it seems to make perfect sense to me.” “You learn from life’s
hardships,” Lauren told her. “Right,” Camila said impressed at
Lauren’s understanding. “It still doesn’t explain why you haven’t
been back down here,” Lauren informed her. “I guess it doesn’t,”
Camila said laughing. “I think it’s because the beach holds a lot of
good memories for you,” Lauren noted perceptively, “and you’re
not happy Camz,” she finished. “You make me happy,” Camila told
her sincerely. “Maybe,” Lauren said her stomach swelling at
Camila’s words, “but you don’t make yourself happy.” Camila
glanced back out at the ocean in quiet thought. “It’s hard to be
happy,” Camila said her voice almost inaudible she spoke so
quietly. “It’s hard to be anything but angry and depressed most of
the time.” “You’re angry at the driver that hit you?” Lauren asked
her. “No,” Camila told her. “You’re angry at yourself?” Lauren
 asked shrewdly. Camila met Lauren’s gaze once again her fingers
still playing with the sand in front of her. “I was walking back from
the beach,” Camila said after a moment of silence. “When it
happened?” “I didn’t know that,” Lauren replied in surprise. “I’d
come down here to read,” Camila shared, “My mom had dropped
me off and said she’d pick me up later, but, I was tired and hot so
I decided to walk back it was such a nice day. It wasn’t that far.
The same distance from where Ilive to school.” Camila paused for
a minute and flicked some sand out to her left.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 8/11 “I had my iPod on and was walking
over the crosswalk, the light was green…” Camila said. “I didn’t
even see the car coming. I don’t remember anything after that,”
Camila continued. “Just…bits and pieces, in my dreams
sometimes.” “Your nightmares,” Lauren asked her. “Yeah,” Camila
confirmed looking at Lauren. “My nightmares.” “You think that if
you’d just stayed at the beach like you were supposed to then it
wouldn’t have happened.” Lauren stated in realisation. “It
wouldn’t have,” Camila said. “Camila you can’t blame yourself for
what happened.” Lauren told her, placing a comforting hand on
her shoulder. “Yeah but I do,” Camila told her. “It was my fault. I
should have just stayed.” “It was their fault Camila!” Lauren said
firmly. “Theirs. Not yours.” Camila didn’t say anything and Lauren
didn’t want to push the topic of blame knowing that Camila
wouldn’t change her mind until she was ready to. “What was the
 first thing you remember afterwards?” Lauren asked her
interestedly, changing the subject slightly but trying to get Camila
to open up some more. “You really want to know?” Camila asked
her. “If you don’t mind sharing it with me…” Lauren said. “Not a
lot,” Camila commented. “Just, bursts of unconnected
things….like one of those old projectors that keep skipping quickly
from one slide to another.” Camila thought for a moment. “I
remember a light,” Camila told her. “It kept moving across my
eyes and it was irritating me but I couldn’t move my hands to
block it,” Camila explained. “I remember that everything felt
heavy and effortful to move, like I was stuck in quick sand and
everything hurt… Everything.” “Did you remember what had
happened?” Lauren asked. “When you woke up I mean… could
you remember it?” “No,” Camila replied. “It was a month before
my memory started to come back. They said it was posttraumatic
amnesia and that it was comment in head injuries. It took a long
time for me to be able to remember even the smallest bits of new
information.” “Kind of like you after your seizure,” Lauren said
remembering how she’d struggled to retain anything. “I suppose.”
Camila said, not knowing how she’d behaved. Camila ran a hand
through her hair and found the thick scar on the left side of her
head, her fingers tracing it meaningfully. Her hair was starting to
grow longer around it, obscuring it from view even further, but,
Lauren realised, Camila would always be able to feel it, would
always know it was there, even if other people didn’t. “I
 remember my sister would come in to see me once I was off the
intensive care unit,” Camila divulged. “She would always want to
play and she’d get sad when my mom and dad told her that we
couldn’t.” “You sound sad about that,” Lauren said, reaching out
and placing a hand on Camila’s arm. “Yeah well,” Camila told her,
“she’s just a kid. She doesn’t understand what was going on. She
just wanted to be able to play with me, to do the things we used
to do before,” Camila continued, a smile creeping on her lips, “you
know, making sandcastle at the beach…” “Eating ice lollies?”
Lauren offered. “Right,” Camila confirmed. “I can’t do those things
with her now,” Camila told her. “She wants me to pick her up and
carry her like I used to but I can’t,” Camila continued. “She wants
to jump on me and make me chase her round the garden or the
park…” Camila leant back slightly stretching.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60788975538/trialsand-
tribulationschapter14 9/11 “Now I’m home she thinks I’m better,”
Camila went on, “but I’m not and it makes me sad that I can’t be
the same big sister to her that I was before.” Camila wiped at a
tear that had escaped her eye unbidden and Lauren leant forward
to catch Camila’s lips in her own. Camila was surprised at first but
soon let herself sink in to Lauren’s lips, her mouth giving Camila
comfort in silence instead of words. Lauren raised her free hand
and reached up to touch the side of Camila’s face, her thumb
stroking her cheek soothingly. After a moment, Lauren went to
move away, but as she pulled back, she felt Camila press her
mouth harder against her own and causing her to moan slightly in
response. Camila took the opportunity to suck on Lauren’s bottom
lip, catching it in her mouth as Lauren had opened her own to
moan. Camila leant up onto her knees to close the gap between
the two of them, placing her hand on Lauren’s back between her
shoulder blades. Lauren felt Camila’s tongue lick the top of her
bottom lip and her breath hitched in her throat, her whole body
shivering in response to Camila’s mouth on her own, every fibre
of her craving more. Her heart was elated, beating forcefully in
her chest, the pounding in her ears almost completely in time
with the sound of the waves crashing against the shore nearby.
Lauren opened her mouth and Camila let her tongue slip inside
exploring the previously unknown territory eagerly. Lauren tasted
the salt from Camila’s tears mingled with the salty air and using
every ounce of selfcontrol she had, she gently pulled her head
back separating the two of them for a moment. She looked in to
Camila’s eyes as she tried to catch her breath. They were
watching her pleadingly, almost desperate and Lauren felt her
heart drop at the need that she saw in them. Camila’s chest was
heaving from a combination of the kissing and her sobs and
Lauren felt her own eyes moisten at the sight. Camila tried to
crash their lips together once more, but Lauren pulled back and
Camila looked at her hurt. Lauren gently used the palm of her
hand to push Camila so that she was sitting back on her heels.
“What’s wrong?” Camila asked, her words laced with insecurities.
 “Was that not very good? Did I do something wrong?” “No,”
Lauren told her breathily. “Quite the opposite.” “I don’t
understand,” Camila said her eyes moist as she tried to catch her
breath. “Not like this ok?” Lauren told her wiping at Camila’s eye
with the pad of her thumb before moving around and wrapping
her arm around her body tightly. She pulled her into her side and
kissed Camila lightly on the forehead, brushing her hair out of her
eyes. Camila reached up and grasped the front of Lauren’s jumper
with her hand, burying her face into Lauren’s chest. “Ok,” Camila
said quietly. “Ok,” Lauren reiterated, kissing Camila on the
forehead once again. “Thank you,” Camila told her sincerely. “For
what?” Lauren asked her. “For listening,” Camila clarified. “Thank
you for sharing,” Lauren said, rubbing Camila’s left arm soothingly
with her hand as it draped around her shoulders. “You make it
easy,” Camila told her truthfully. “I’m glad,” Lauren replied her
own tears falling, whether out of happiness or sadness she
couldn’t quite decide. All she knew was that, as she sat there,
Camila in her arms, watching the wave’s crash against the shore,
the stars shining brightly above in the dark, moonlit sky, was that
it was beautiful. She looked at the girl next to her.“She’s
beautiful” Lauren thought to herself, “tragically and undeniably
beautiful.” A/N: I don’t even know what this is…I’m sorry, haha x
Chapter 15
For a while, they remained at the beach, their bodies entwined
together on the cool sand, Lauren’s arms wrapped comfortingly
 around Camila’s shoulders tightly as she continued to sob gently
into her chest. Eventually, Camila’s tears subsided and they sat in
comfortable silence, both of them enjoying the soothing sound of
the waves crashing against the shore softly, the sea making its
presence known to the sand beneath it, the moonlight bouncing
off the water brightly to reflect the stars shining in the sky above.
Lauren lost track of how long they’d stayed there, the two of
them unmoving, both engrossed in thoughts that neither of them
vocalised aloud. Lauren had studied Camila’s face closely as she’d
stared out into the horizon; seemingly deep in thought and she
wished that she could read Camila’s silent meditations, to know
what worries and fears troubled her already fragile and beautiful
mind. However, as much as Lauren wanted to be able to
understand the broken girl beside her further, she couldn’t, not
without Camila divulging the information to her willingly as she
had done earlier tonight. So, unable to decipher the
contemplative look on Camila’s face, Lauren just held her, content
in the knowledge that, slowly but surely, she was managing to
chip away at the impermeable armour that Camila wore to
protect herself, that with every new day that they spent together,
Camila was gradually beginning to open up to her a little bit more.
Lauren enjoyed the rare insights that she gained in exceptional
moments like tonight, she did, but, she also loathed them at the
same time, the knowledge that Camila blamed herself, no,hated
herself for the accident exasperating her in a way that she could
not explain. The crosswalk light had been green when Camila had
stepped onto the road. It had been her right of way and the driver
of the car had run straight through a red light, hit her and driven
off, leaving her for dead. Never in a million years would Lauren
ever understand how Camila could blame herself for that, never.
After the breeze had started to pick up, the wind developing a
chilly and unkind edge which had made them both shiver in an
attempt to keep warm, Lauren drove Camila home, walking her to
the door chivalrously once they’d arrived. They stood in awkward
silence for a moment, Lauren uncertain whether she should kiss
Camila goodnight or not after the conversation they’d had
regarding her parents earlier. Camila glanced down at her shoes,
her hands held nervously in front of her as she waited for Lauren
to break the silence; her inexperience in this situation ringing
loudly in her ears and preventing her from saying anything no
matter how much she wanted to. “So,” Lauren started, shifting
her feet beneath her and stuttering slightly. “I had a really nice
time with you tonight.” Camila looked up to meet Lauren’s gaze
and a small smile graced her features. “Me too,” Camila said,
fidgeting with her fingers in front of her. “I mean, I had a really
nice time with you as well.” She paused for a moment, dropping
her gaze momentarily as she blushed before lifting her eyes once
again. “It was definitely the best date I’ve ever been on.” She told
her playfully and Lauren chuckled softly in response, nodding her
head as she ran a hair through her long dark locks. “I’m really glad
that I told you about the accident,” Camila added after a moment,
her tone becoming more solemn. “It actually felt nice to talk to
someone about it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 2/10 “Well, I’m really happy that you told
me about it.” Lauren replied seriously. “I’m always here if you
want to talk,” she’d offered. “Itruly mean that.” “Thank you,”
Camila said gratefully. Lauren shifted awkwardly on her feet once
more, taking a step back away from Camila as though she was
starting to leave. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Lauren told Camila,
taking another step backwards. “Ok,” Camila said simply, lifting
her right hand in a small wave goodbye. Lauren smiled, lifting her
own had in goodbye before turning on her heels to make her way
back down Camila’s path towards her car. Lauren had only
managed a few steps before she felt a small hand tug on her own,
spinning her around a hundred and eighty degrees to face the
house once more. Lauren was accosted by Camila’s lips on her
own almost instantly and she felt herself smile into the kiss
happily. She felt Camila trace her bottom lip probingly with her
tongue and this time Lauren had granted her access willingly.
Camila had darted her tongue in to Lauren’s mouth greedily, just
as hungrily as she’d been earlier at the beach and Lauren had
reciprocated eagerly, tangling their tongues together furiously in a
battle for dominance in the confined space. Lauren caught
Camila’s tongue between her lips, sucking on it gently, enjoying
the taste of the girl that she’d craved for so long, one hand pulling
on Camila’s lower back, pressing their bodies together closely, the
other finding the base of her skull and playing with the hair on the
back of her neck. Lauren felt Camila’s hands wrap around her own
waist, one rubbing soothing paths up and down Lauren’s spine,
sending what felt like a bolt of electricity straight through her.
Finally, Lauren’s chest heaving from lack of oxygen, they
separated and she smiled at the sight of Camila, pupils dilated as
they watched her closely, her own chest heaving just as violently.
Lauren took Camila’s right hand in her own, stepping back slightly
and entwining their fingers together as she rocked them both
arbitrarily between them. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Lauren asked,
Camila’s smile spreading to match her own. “Ok,” Camila replied
as Lauren disentangled their hands and kissed her quickly again
on the lips. Lauren made her way down the path towards her car,
only stopping momentarily to wave goodbye to Camila before
getting in and driving off. Camila waited until Lauren was out of
sight, following the car with her eyes until it had disappeared
around the corner, the fingertips of one hand touching her
swollen lips in surprise. She smiled to herself, her face blushing
profusely as she thought about Lauren and their time together
tonight. Her heart swelled within her chest and it was such an
alien sensation that Camila temporarily worried that she was
having a heart attack. Finally, she made her way indoors and up to
her bedroom, where she quickly changed into her pyjamas and
 fell into the first undisturbed sleep she’d had since the accident.
Over the next four weeks, Camila and Lauren fell into a
comfortable routine together, growing closer with every passing
day that they shared. Lauren would pick Camila up for school
every morning and take her home after her sessions with Miss
Lovato, herself studying quietly in the library whilst she waited.
Lauren and Camila went out numerous times over the course of
the month, their dates ranging from the traditional movies and
dinner to a particularly hilarious visit to the local fair, where
Camila’s poor handeye coordination had almost knocked out a
small child during an exceptionally animated ride on the bumper
cars. The two of them often spent lazy weekends, entangled
together on Camila’s bed, watching cartoons and eating, to
Lauren’s dismay, a strange concoction of food which included
Nutella, cereal, milk and plantains. Now that the two of them
were dating, Lauren made it her own personal mission to be as
actively involved in Camila’s recovery as much as she was able to,
reading every book or internet article about traumatic brain injury
and epilepsy that she could find. She familiarised herself with
Camila’s problems and difficulties, helped her with her physical
and speech therapy exercises, learnt to read the subtle changes in
her behaviour which she demonstrated when she was tired or
stressed. Lauren learnt to predict the circumstances which would
cause Camila’s speech to become impaired, those which would
make her clumsy and unsteady on her feet and those which
 Camila avoided all together. Three weeks into their illdefined
relationship, Camila had another seizure at school, this time in the
cafeteria during lunch, a large proportion of the student body
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 3/10 witnessing the event interestedly. One
minute, Lauren was walking with Camila towards the table which
they often shared with the other girls’, their group having had to
relocate inside as the weather turned colder and less pleasant,
then the next, Camila had crumpled to the floor beside her, the
entirety of her body convulsing violently. Once again, an
ambulance was called and Camila was taken to the hospital in
order to be reviewed by a doctor. Lauren had been desperate to
go with Camila, but, she had an important test that afternoon
which she could not miss and so she’d had to wait until after
school to visit her. When she’d arrived at the hospital later that
day, Lauren had been informed by Sinu that Camila had
something called Todd’s paresis, a temporary weakness in her left
side as a result of the seizure which could take a few days to
resolve. Lauren had been understandably concerned at hearing
this news but relaxed visibly when on entering the room she
found Camila sat up in bed, coherent, for the most part, and
struggling to eat jello from the tub in her lap with her right hand.
She walked over to the bedside, pausing beside Camila to give her
a soft kiss on the forehead in response to the lopsided grin she’d
flashed Lauren in greeting, the corner of her mouth dropping
 down on the left where it was weak. Camila’s speech remained
relatively intact after the seizure, but, the weakness in her face
caused her words to sound much more slurred than normal and
Lauren couldn’t help thinking that she sounded drunk. Lauren had
stayed with Camila at the hospital until late that first night,
climbing onto the bed beside the smaller girl and watching TV
with her until her curfew rolled around and she had to leave.
Dinah and the rest of the girls’ had joined them throughout the
course of the afternoon and the five of them had thrown an
impromptu movie night right there in Camila’s hospital room. The
next day, Camila’s temporary paralysis had resolved and she’d
been released back to her house where Lauren had spent the next
two afternoons in Camila’s room, wrapped up with her on the bed
as she either slept or watched movies. One afternoon, Lauren had
even spent some time reading some of Camila’s favourite book to
her, her own mind too hazy to be able to concentrate on the task
herself. Lauren would be lying if she said that Camila’s seizures
didn’t scare her but, the doctors had reassured Sinu that they’d
increased the dosage of her medication and were going to be
monitoring her closely over the next few months. It was now a
week later and Camila, finally fully recovered from her most
recent seizure, sat in home room with Lauren, Ally and Dinah
worrying about the presentation that she had to give in Miss
Lovato’s English class next period. “Stop worrying babe,” Lauren
told Camila from her position at the desk beside her. “You’ll be
 fine alright? We spent all weekend rehearsing…” “Not all
weekend,” Camila interrupted her, shuffling the pages of her
essay nervously in her hands. “You had one evening off to go and
see Beyoncé with Normani,” Lauren told her, placing a reassuring
hand on top of Camila’s in an attempt to stop them from moving
around quite so much. “Five hours…that’s all. Trust me, you’ve got
this.” “I don’t know,” Camila said doubtfully. “I don’t think I
should have gone. I should have practiced more.” “Camz,” Lauren
protested taking the pages out of Camila’s hands so that she
couldn’t look at them any longer. “You’ve literally been working
on this assignment for weeks. You know every word of it off by
heart.” “You know,” Dinah commented, “I would have gladly
taken that spare Beyoncé ticket off your hands Mila. Normani said
she was fierce live. I’m so jealous. ” Lauren shot Dinah a
meaningful look which told her she wasn’t helping before turning
her attention back to Camila again who was biting her bottom lip
anxiously. “Just breathe Camz,” Lauren told her seriously. “You’re
going to stress yourself out.” “I know,” Camila replied lowering
her head to the desk and groaning. “That’s what I’m worried
about.” “You know that you don’t have to read it out if you don’t
want to Camz.” Lauren reminded her. “Miss Lovato asked if you
wanted to and you agreed. Just tell her you’ve changed your
mind, she won’t care.” “No,” Camila said lifting her head off the
desk to look at Lauren. “You know what my speech therapist said,
I’m supposed to practice speaking in front of groups of people.”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 4/10 “When you’re ready,” Lauren said
earnestly. “She told you not to push yourself too hard as well
remember? Your speech turns to crap when you’re stressed. She
said it’s the worst possible thing for it.” “Ok,” Dinah said noting
the look on Camila’s face. “Now I don’t think you’re helping Lo.”
“Shit,” Camila said dropping her head to the table and banging it
gently against the surface and inhaling deeply. “Shit…” “Hey,”
Lauren said placing a comforting hand on Camila’s shoulder and
causing her to turn her head slightly to look into her piercing
green eyes. “Calm down.” “I can’t calm down,” Camila moaned.
“What was Ithinking? I can’t do this.” “You can,” Lauren reassured
her. “Your speech is so much better babe, I promise. You’d hardly
know that you even struggle with it anymore sometimes. It’s only
ever really bad when you’re tired or really stressed out.” The bell
signalling the end of home room sounded and Dinah and Ally gave
Camila a sympathetic look before standing up. “Mila, you’re going
to be great,” Dinah said genuinely believing that Camila would be
fine and trying to reassure her of that. “Just imagine that the
whole room is naked. That always works for me.” “What?” Camila
said in disbelief, blushing slightly at the sudden unsolicited
thought of Lauren’s naked body sat before her whilst she tried to
read out her assignment. “Dinah, that’s not going to help me!”
Dinah shrugged before quickly wrapping her arms around
Camila’s body in a warm embrace. She kissed her on the forehead
 quickly before saying, “Just do it. What’s the worst that could
happen?” “Really?” Camila called after her as she turned to make
her way out of the room, knowing that the very worst that could
happen is that she could stress herself out so much that she
induces another seizure. “What’s the worst that could happen?
Really Dinah?!” Camila called loudly as Dinah threw her a look and
disappeared out of sight. “I agree with Lauren,” Ally told Camila
placing a hand on top of her arm. “You’ll be fine Camila.” “Ally,”
Camila protested as she started to make her way towards the
door. “I’ll see you in history,” Ally said as she too disappeared.
Camila bounced her right leg up and down nervously under her
desk as the rest of the students in her English class entered the
room and Lauren put her hand firmly on top of it in an attempt to
make it cease. “Stop it,” Lauren almost commanded of Camila,
“don’t do this to yourself Camz. Don’t talk yourself out of doing
something I know that you can do. You’ll hate yourself for it
afterwards. I know you.” Camila turned to face Lauren, running
her left hand through her hair. “You can speak.” Lauren told her
simply. “I can’t,” Camila told her. “You just did,” Lauren laughed.
“You know what I mean,” Camila almost groaned. “I’m going to go
mute, I can feel it.” “You won’t. Just take your time,” Lauren
coached her. “Remember, one sentence at a time. There’s no
rush.” Camila wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand as
Miss Lovato closed the classroom door and made her way to the
front of the room. “If you feel yourself start to struggle,” Lauren
said, dropping her voice so that no one else could hear, “just look
at me alright? Pretend that it’s just the two of us and you’re
practicing in your room. I believe in you Camz.” “Lauren…” Camila
began but, Lauren cut her off decidedly with a quick peck on the
lips, not caring who was watching. Luckily, no one seemed to
notice, all eyes attentive to Miss Lovato who was writing
something on the board at the front of the class.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 5/10 ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’, Lauren read
when her and Camila had separated and she’d turned to look.
“Ok,” Miss Lovato started, dropping her pen onto the shelf at the
bottom of the whiteboard and turning to address the class. “So
we’ve all finished reading Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill A Mockingbird,’ and
you were given free rein to write an essay on any aspect of the
story that you wanted to, relating the messages or characters
from it to your own life.” Miss Lovato paused to glance at Camila
whose leg was once again bouncing up and down uneasily.
“Camila,” Miss Lovato said gesturing to where she sat. “Are you
happy to read your essay out first?” Camila looked at Lauren who
gave her an encouraging nod. “Umm,” Camila said, fumbling with
the sheets of paper which Lauren was handing back to her and
almost dropping them on the floor. “Ok.” “Are you sure?” Miss
Lovato asked, sensing Camila’s reluctance. Camila looked back at
Lauren who nodded once again before standing up. “Yeah,” she
said her voice almost inaudible as she made her way to the front
 of the class. “Great” Miss Lovato boosted as Camila came to a
stop beside her and turned to face the class. Lauren could see that
Camila was grasping the papers so tightly in her hands that her
knuckles were turning white and she silently prayed for Camila to
take a breath and relax for a moment. “When you’re ready then,”
Miss Lovato prompted, perching on the front of her desk to listen
to Camila’s presentation. “Ok,” Camila said, rummaging through
the pages of her assignment to find the start. She’d made sure to
print the text large so that it would be easier for her to read.
Camila looked up to meet Lauren’s eyes for a second and Lauren
raised her eyebrow expectantly waiting for Camila to start
speaking. “I decided that for my assignment,” Camila started, “I
would look at the theme of misconceptions in Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill
A Mockingbird.’” Camila turned to look at Miss Lovato uncertainly.
She smiled at Camila, a silent sign of approval and for her to
continue. Camila started reading out her assignment, discussing
the prejudices and misconceptions that Jem and Scout have
regarding their father, Jem’s misconception of Mrs Dubose and
the towns delusions of Boo Radley, albeit slowly and deliberately.
She paused for a moment in her presentation, glancing at the
room around her and it was then that Lauren saw it, that subtle
change in Camila’s face which meant that she was starting to
panic. Camila glanced back down at the paper in her hand, trying
to speak the next word, but, it wouldn’t come out no matter how
much she tried to force it from her mouth. Camila raised her eyes
to find Lauren who smiled at her reassuringly, giving her a thumbs
up, urging her to continue, Lauren’s confidence in Camila’s ability
exceeding her own. Camila managed to complete a few more
sentences her speech deteriorating slightly as she continued and
Lauren felt her stomach drop when Camila starts stuttering,
incomprehensible noises and simple syllables being vocalised
instead of actual language. Around her Lauren could hear a few of
the other students in the class laugh under their breaths and she
could tell that Camila heard the sniggering too by the way her face
fell and her gaze dropped to the floor disheartened. Lauren
fought the immense urge to hit them which suddenly overcame
her as Miss Lovato scolded them from the front of the class.
“You’re doing great Camila,” Miss Lovato said encouragingly.
“Your essay is well structured and you’ve clearly understood the
topic area you’ve chosen…go on,” she prompted.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 6/10 Camila pushed on, managing to drag
out some more painfully slow sentences which explained how
misconceptions and stereotypes related to her life, but, the power
of her words were lost with the lack of fluidity and, the key
message, which Lauren had really wanted the class to hear
regarding how people often had misconceptions of Camila since
the accident did not strike the chord Lauren had hoped it would.
Camila reached for her head, placing a hand to her temple as
though she was starting to get a headache. Miss Lovato stepped
 over to her, placing a hand on Camila’s arm and rubbing it
reassuringly. “That’s great Camila,” Miss Lovato told her sincerely.
“You don’t have to do anymore if you don’t want to…” Camila
dropped her head, handing Miss Lovato her assignment in defeat
before walking back to her desk. However, instead of sitting down
at it, Camila leant to pick up her bag, throwing it over her
shoulder quickly before walking towards the door and exiting
quickly. Lauren looked at Miss Lovato questioningly, her gaze
darting between the teacher and the door. “Go,” Miss Lovato said
in answer, scribbling a quick hall pass for both of them and
walking over to hand it to Lauren. “Try to get her to come back if
you can,” Miss Lovato told her quietly. “I’d like to talk to her.”
Lauren nodded her head in agreement before heading out into
the hallway in search of Camila. Eventually she found her hiding in
one of the girl’s bathrooms, locked away in one of the cubicles.
“Babe,” Lauren tried to soothe, hearing Camila’s soft sobs through
the barrier between them. “You did really well, please don’t cry
alright?” “Leave me alone,” Camila said in response and Lauren
leant her head against the cubicle door, closing her eyes to listen
to the girl on the other side. “Camila,” Lauren started, “Camz, let
me in alright? Ijust want to make sure you’re ok.” When Camila
didn’t say anything, Lauren made her way into the cubicle next
door and stood on top of the lowered toilet lid to peek next door.
She spotted Camila, her head in her hands and clambered over
the partition deftly, dropping down in front of her. Lauren placed
 a hand on Camila’s knee and she looked up, her face streaked
with tears to look at her. “Please come back to class,” Lauren
pleaded with her. “You did great.” Lauren wiped at Camila’s face
with her hand, trying to clear the tears whose tracks were visible
on Camila’s face. “I didn’t,” Camila replied. “I completely lost it.
I’m so stupid.” “Hey,” Lauren said placing a firm hand on her
shoulder. “You’re not stupid, far from it.” “Lauren,” Camila said in
disbelief. “You saw what happened.” “There’s a difference
between being stupid and not being able to express yourself,”
Lauren told her sternly. “Camila you are not stupid and a few
months ago you weren’t even able to speak full sentences to one
person, let alone a whole room full of them. That’s progress even
if you think it is small.” Lauren paused for a moment, “Besides,
your speech is already back to normal again. You just got flustered
that’s all.” “It’s like Itake one step forward to take another two
back,” Camila told her. “Don’t say that,” Lauren replied. “You’re
doing so much better…I wish there was some way that I could
make you see that.” “Why do you want to be with me Lauren?”
Camila asked her, scrutinizing her eyes closely. “All you do is
spend all your time constantly reassuring me. What do you get
out of this?” Lauren gave Camila a pointed look. “You know why?”
Lauren said. “You wrote me a whole list of reasons…or don’t you
remember that?” Lauren brushed Camila’s hair out of her eyes
where it had fallen, her hand resting on the side of her face as she
continued.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 7/10 “As to what I get out of it,” Lauren
went on. “I get to spend time with you and that makes me
happy.” “Why?” Camila asked with serious interest. Lauren
laughed at Camila’s obliviousness. “I don’t know why,” Lauren
said chuckling lightly. “Ok? I just do. I can’t explain it very
eloquently. It’s just, this feeling that I get in the pit of my stomach
whenever I’m with you. You make my heart flutter when you
smile and my chest ache when you laugh.” Camila smiled at her
words and Lauren pushed on, happy to the grin back on her face.
“You make my ears ring with the pounding of my heart when you
kiss me,” Lauren told her, “and my lungs fight for air.” Lauren
sighed, rubbing Camila’s cheek with her thumb. “You make me
happy,” Lauren said simply. “What else could I possibly want from
you?” “To be my girlfriend?” Camila asked quietly. Lauren looked
at her seriously. “Camila you know how I feel about you,” Lauren
said, turning her head to keep their eyes locked together as
Camila dropped her gaze. “You know there’s no pressure…” “No,”
Camila interrupted her. “I’m asking you.” Lauren leant back a little
in surprise. “You’re asking me?” She asked not quite believing her
ears. “Yes,” Camila confirmed. “I mean, I know we’ve never
discussed it…” “No,” Lauren agreed as Camila continued. “But, I
want you to be my girlfriend.” Camila said. “If you…you
know…want to.” Lauren smiled at Camila’s shyness. “So, we’re
making this official?” Lauren asked her cheeks aching from the
 face eating smile on her features. “If you want to?” Camila asked
uncertainly. Lauren looked at Camila and asked, “Why do you
want me to be your girlfriend?” Her mind not quite ready to
believe this was real. Camila reached in to her bag and pulled out
her notebook, opening it to the back page and taking out a loose
piece of paper which she promptly handed to Lauren. “What’s
this?” Lauren asked her glancing at the sheet in her hands. “Read
it,” Camila commanded her and Lauren did as she was told. “One,
I feel like I can tell you anything. Two, because you are patient
with me. Three, because you are kind. Four, because you are
beautiful. Five, because I can count on you. Six, because you are
always there for me. Seven, because you don’t rush or push me,”
Lauren read out loud squinting to decipher her typography. “Is
this….” “No,” Camila interjected. “It’s not the one you dictated to
me.” Lauren looked at Camila’s scrawled writing on the page
questioningly. “Turn it over,” Camila told her and Lauren did as
she was told, her eyebrows rising in surprise. “Read the last two.”
“One hundred and twenty, because you make me happy.” Lauren
felt her cheeks burn brightly and she kept her eyes glued to the
page before her reading the last reason written on the sheet.
“One hundred and twenty one, because I want you to be my
girlfriend.” “That’s why,” Camila told her. “All one hundred and
twenty one reasons why Ilike you.” “I don’t know what to say,”
Lauren told her honestly. “Except this was not where I thought
we’d have this conversation.” She noted, observing their
 surroundings.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/60969744332/trialsand-
tribulationschapter15 8/10 “Yeah, well, me neither,” Camila
admitted, “I kind of had this whole thing planned, but, I don’t
know, this felt like the right time.” “Are you sure about this?”
Lauren asked her. “I mean, it’s not because of what’s just
happened or anything?” Camila pointed at the sheet of paper in
Lauren’s hand. “I started writing this the morning after our first
date,” Camila informed her, “I’ve been adding things to it ever
since then, writing down my feelings, you know, like my therapist
told me to do.” She paused for a moment. “It helps me,” Camila
continued, “to see it written down in black and white, no matter
how illegible it is.” She laughed lightly. “You are amazing,” Camila
told her simply, “and I miss you when you’re not around. I want
you to be mine Lauren, just mine….like, officially. If that’s what
you want?” “I’ve always been yours,” Lauren said laughing. “Since
the first time I saw you in the hallway the first day of class.” “So?”
Camila questioned timid. “So yes!” Lauren said hugging her
tightly. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend Camz.” Camila grinned
widely as Lauren released her from her grasp. “Really?” she asked.
“Really,” Lauren confirmed, leaning forward and taking her lips in
her own, pulling Camila towards face towards her gently. “Now,”
Lauren said seriously once they’d parted once again. “Can we
please get out of the bathroom?” Camila’s grin, if possible, grew
even wider. “What’s the rush?” Camila asked suggestively, raising
her eyebrow playfully. Lauren felt her cheeks burn as Camila leant
forward and kissed her once again, her tongue finding its way
almost instinctively into Lauren’s mouth. Camila sucked Lauren’s
bottom lip for a moment, biting it gently as she pulled away and
for a moment, Lauren completely forgot how to breathe. Camila
laughed at Lauren’s reaction, pushing herself up from where she’d
been sitting and opening the cubicle door. It took a moment for
Lauren to realise that she was now alone, and dumbly she stood
up, following Camila outside into the bathroom. When Camila had
learnt to become such a tease, Lauren didn’t know, but, she had
to admit, she liked it. She liked it very much. Camila quickly rinsed
her face with some water to get rid of the tear tracks on her
cheeks before drying it with a paper towel. When she’d finished
she walked over to Lauren and took her hand, entwining their
fingers together. “I guess we should go back to English,” Camila
said matter of factly. “After you,” Lauren said smiling, “girlfriend.”
Camila smiled in return before raising herself onto her toes
slightly to kiss Lauren once more. “I like the sound of that,” Camila
said before opening the bathroom door and leading Lauren along
the corridor, back to class.
Chapter 16
Lauren and Camila made their way along the deserted hallway
and back to Miss Lovato’s English class together, their hands
entwined and swinging loosely between the two of them. Camila
paused for a moment outside the classroom door in indecision,
 the recollection of her unapproved and melodramatic exit
suddenly returning to her. “You know,” Camila said quietly,
turning to face Lauren. Camila released Lauren’s hand and
reached her own up to rub at her brow. “Perhaps we should just
wait out the rest of English and go straight to our next class.”
Lauren gave Camila a look which told her she wholeheartedly
disagreed with that suggestion. “I don’t think so,” Lauren replied
simply. “Besides, Miss Lovato wanted me to bring you back so
that she could talk to you.” “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Camila
said turning to glance through the window in the classroom door
and biting her bottom lip worriedly. “She’s not mad,” Lauren
reassured Camila, placing a comforting hand on her upper arm.
“Ithink she was just worried about you, that’s all.” Camila smiled
gratefully at her words but Lauren could tell that she wasn’t
buying it. “Ok well, what’s the worst that she could do?” Lauren
asked her. “You already have an extra study period with her every
day after school. It’s not like she could give you any more
detention….except maybe a Saturday one….” Lauren trailed off in
realisation. Camila groaned as she turned to open the classroom
door and tentatively stepped back inside. As soon as she’d done
so, every pair of eyes in the room turned in her direction,
watching her with interest before glancing back to Miss Lovato at
the front of the class, awaiting her response to Camila’s arrival.
“Girls take your seats please,” Miss Lovato told them, her voice
neutral and Camila felt herself wince internally at the thought of
 how she’d probably disappointed her favourite teacher with her
earlier actions. They quickly made their way towards their seats,
Lauren closing the door behind her quietly. They sat down,
remaining silent for the rest of the class whilst other selected
students read out their assignments. Camila, feeling downcast,
leant her crossed arms over her desk and rested her chin on top
of her forearms as she watched the speakers at the front of the
class attentively. She felt an unexpected twinge of jealously as she
watched each new narrator stand up and almost effortlessly
deliver their presentations. Soon, Camila’s jealously had morphed
into that familiar sense of selfloathing and frustration which she
had so often felt since her accident, her annoyance that it was not
that easy for her manifesting in its usual manner as she started to
pick and bite at the cuticles of her right hand. Lauren, who had
been watching Camila closely since they’d returned to their seats,
reached over the gap between their desks and took her girlfriends
hand firmly in her own, causing Camila to turn and look at Lauren
in surprise. Lauren shook her head deliberately as she held on to
Camila’s hand, refusing to relinquish it back to her to suffer
further abuse and silently reproaching Camila for her misplaced
feelings of selfcontempt.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 2/11 Camila returned her attention back to
the front of the class and found Miss Lovato studying her from
where she now sat behind her desk. Her eyes gave away no
 insight to her thoughts or personal contemplations and Camila
felt herself lower her eyes back to the desk in front of her,
embarrassed by her earlier behaviour. Finally, the bell rang
signalling the end of class and as the other students stood up to
gather their things and leave, Camila heard Miss Lovato call out
from her position at her desk, “Camila, can you please wait for a
minute?” Camila remained seated, her attention turning to
Lauren who was slowly standing from her own desk uncertainly.
“Lauren,” Miss Lovato said as she stood from her desk now that
the classroom was almost completely empty. “I’d like to speak to
Camila alone if that’s ok?” Lauren looked back at Camila who
nodded her head, signalling for her to leave. “I’ll see you at
lunch,” Lauren told her, picking up her bag from the floor and
putting it over her shoulder. “Ok,” Camila replied simply. Lauren
paused in her tracks for a moment, glancing between Miss Lovato
and Camila once more before eventually turning on her heels and
making her way towards her chemistry class. Miss Lovato stepped
around her desk and walked over to the classroom door closing it
shut to give herself and Camila some privacy to talk. She held a
few sheets of paper in her hand and as she took the seat which
Lauren had just vacated, Miss Lovato dropped it on the desk in
front of Camila. It was her assignment. Camila, having lowered her
gaze to the desk to avoid eye contact with Miss Lovato once they
were alone, glanced at the letter which had been scrawled on to
the front of her work in bright red pen before hastily looking up at
her teacher who was examining her silently. “You gave me an A?”
Camila asked her in disbelief. “Itook the liberty of reading through
the rest of your assignment whilst the others were presenting
theirs back,” Miss Lovato informed her as she leant closer to
Camila. She reached over her hand and tapped over the red letter
she’d written in the corner of Camila’s assignment emphatically.
“Ithink you’ll find that I actually gave you an A +.” Miss Lovato
waited for Camila to turn her attention away from the page and
back to her before continuing. “Your writing is really insightful
Camila,” Miss Lovato told her seriously. “It is very articulate and
your assignment is well structured and meets the parameters
which were set for it fully. Your arguments and your summary are
clear and concise, but, most of all, your assignment is honest and
makes comparisons from your own life to validate the points
which you are making.” Miss Lovato placed a hand on top of
Camila’s to ensure that she was listening to what she said next.
“This is a really great piece of work Camila,” Miss Lovato praised.
“You should be really proud of it.” Camila sat in silence for a
moment, uncertain how to respond to Miss Lovato’s kind words
initially. “I didn’t present it back to the class properly though,”
Camila ultimately protested. “How could you give me such a good
grade?” “The mark for the assignment isn’t determined by the
oral presentation,” Miss Lovato informed her. “It’s decided on its
content.” “So then, why make us present it back at all?” Camila
asked her. “You’re not the only person that needs practice
 speaking in public Camila,” Miss Lovato replied honestly. “It is
good for people to learn how to present back information, it’s
supposed to help encourage them to have confidence in their
arguments and views. The oral component of this assignment was
an exercise in that, nothing more.” Miss Lovato smiled at Camila.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 3/11 “Besides,” she started. “If you recall, I
was willing to exclude you from that particular request but you
told me that you wanted to try.” “I know,” Camila told her. “My
speech therapist thought it would be good practice for me. Ithink
that maybe it was a mistake now though…” “I don’t,” Miss Lovato
interrupted. “You don’t?” Camila asked her. “No,” Miss Lovato
replied. “Camila, the beginning of your presentation, despite
being somewhat slow and purposeful, was good.” Miss Lovato
reassured her. “I think you just psyched yourself out towards the
end. You looked like you were worried about what everyone else
was thinking and it affected your confidence. You need to have
more faith in yourself, that’s all.” “You sound like Lauren,” Camila
laughed. “She’s always saying that.” “Yeah, well,” Miss Lovato
laughed. “Don’t tell Lauren this but she’s one of the smartest
students in my class. You should probably listen to her more.” “I
definitely won’t tell her that last part.” Camila said lightly in
response. “I’d never hear the end of it.” “Between me and you
though Camila,” Miss Lovato said, her voice taking on a serious
tone. “She’s not the smartest student in my class.” “I’m not…”
Camila said quickly. Miss Lovato pointed to the assignment on the
desk again. “I beg to differ Camila,” she interrupted. “You are a
great writer and you always have been. I still remember reading
some of your work from last year it was so poignant. You have a
talent Camila; it’d be a shame to waste it because of a few
challenges. Don’t you think?” “I don’t know what to say,” Camila
replied honestly. “Thank you, I guess.” “Don’t thank me,” Miss
Lovato told her. “Just, promise me that you’ll continue to work
hard and practice your writing, whether it is by hand or typed.
Read, for fun, not because you have to or because your speech
therapist asks you to. You’ll be surprised how much easier it’ll get
if you’re actually enjoying the story you’re reading. I remember
last year that you told me how much you loved to read. What was
the last book you read that wasn’t for school Camila?” “I haven’t
read anything since the accident,” Camila told her truthfully. “Not
something that I’ve chosen to anyway.” “Ok, well, by our session
after school next Monday, I want you to have started a new
book,” Miss Lovato said. “Alright,” Camila replied, a small smile
gracing her lips at the thought. “You should get to your next
class,” Miss Lovato told her, taking a sheet of paper and scribbling
a quick note for Camila’s next teacher. Camila took it from her
gratefully when it was handed to her but made no move to stand
up. “I’m sorry for walking out,” Camila apologised sincerely. “I
shouldn’t have. It was rude. I was just frustrated and…” “Apology
accepted.” Miss Lovato stopped her quickly. “Let’s say no more
 about it. I can completely understand. I don’t know that I
wouldn’t have done the same thing in your shoes.” “Thank you,”
Camila said appreciatively. “For everything.” She clarified. “You’ve
been really great since I came back to school. I don’t know where
I’d be if you weren’t doing so much for me.” “It’s my pleasure,”
Miss Lovato said, placing a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.
“Just, seriously consider English as an option for college. I’d love
to read your story one day Camila.” “Maybe I’ll give you a
dedication,” Camila joked. “You better,” Miss Lovato said,
standing up from her seat.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 4/11 Camila followed suit, picking up her
assignment and placing in her bag. “I’ll see you after school,”
Camila said as she swung her bag onto her shoulder. “As always,”
Miss Lovato agreed before Camila left the classroom and made
her way down the hallway towards history. She glanced in the
door and saw that the rest of the students were engaged
discussions amongst themselves, Mr Lopez, sat at his desk reading
from a book. Camila pushed the door open and walked in almost
completely unobserved except by the teacher and Ally who sat in
her usual seat, a relieved look on her face at her arrival, obviously
worried when she’d not turned up at the start of class. Camila
handed Mr Lopez the note from Miss Lovato and apologised for
her tardiness. Mr Lopez smiled at her kindly and asked if
everything was alright. Camila reassured him that it was and he
 told her what task the class was currently working on before
gesturing for her to take her seat beside Ally. “Hey,” Ally greeted.
“I was starting to worry about you. Is everything alright?” “Yeah,”
Camila said. “I was just talking to Miss Lovato about something,
that’s all.” “How did you presentation go?” Ally asked
interestedly. “Was it alright?” “Not really,” Camila told her
truthfully. “I mean, in hindsight it wasn’t awful but, it definitely
could have been better.” “Did you lose your voice?” Ally asked
her, making a sympathetic face. “Yes,” Camila said simply. “Oh I’m
sorry,” Ally responded, patting Camila’s hand with her own
comfortingly. “I know how much you wanted it to go well.” “It’s
alright,” Camila told her. “There’ll be other presentations. I’ll do
better next time.” “Wow,” Ally said in response. “That’s very
rational of you. What happened? You were almost on the verge of
a nervous breakdown when Ileft you earlier.” “I don’t know,”
Camila replied, but she sensed that it had a lot to do with Miss
Lovato’s praise and Lauren’s words of encouragement. “I guess I
just realised that perhaps I shouldn’t be quite so hard on myself.”
“Well, it’s about time if you ask me,” Ally laughed. “I’m pretty sure
we’ve been telling you this for ages.” “You have,” Camila agreed,
“but sometimes it takes a little while for it to really sink in.”
“Repetition is the key,” Ally joked. “So,” Camila started, finally
pulling out her text book and opening it. “You want to hear what
else happened over last period?” “Of course,” Ally replied, smiling
brightly. “Me and Lauren may have made it official,” Camila
 commented, watching Ally closely for her reaction. “Wait are you
serious?” Ally asked her almost giddily. “So you’re like, girlfriends
now?” “Yes,” Camila told her and she couldn’t help the smile that
spread across her own features, her heart fluttering in her chest
at the definition. “Aww, that’s amazing!” Ally said clapping her
hands loudly and causing a few people in the room to look in their
direction. “Ally,” Camila scolded playfully, before continuing on a
more serious track. “You guys are literally hilarious when it comes
to how much you support the two of us together. I find it
especially funny because you thought it was just a crush and
Lauren would get over it.” Ally made a surprised face at Camila’s
words. “Oh she told you about that, huh?” Ally asked jovially. “In
my defence, at the time, I thought that she would. I mean, she
didn’t even know you, not really. Then we all started hanging out
together and to be quite honest, I think I kind of fell for you a little
bit as well.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 5/11 Camila hit her gently on the arm.
“Shut up,” she laughed. “No I’m serious.” Ally told her. “I’m glad
that we’re all friends. It’s weird to think there was a time when
we weren’t really.” “I know,” Camila agreed. “I can’t even
remember what it was like before we all started hanging out. It
feels like I’ve known you all forever.” “Well, your memory is
pretty poor since the accident,” Ally mocked teasingly. Camila
smiled at the smaller girls’ words, not taking offense. If anything,
 it was a sign of how close they’d all become that they were
comfortable ridiculing each other. “At least I’m not short,” Camila
replied laughing, the knowledge that she was only barely taller
than Ally making her laugh even harder. “Whatever,” Ally
dismissed waving her hand and pausing for a moment. “Honestly
though, I’m really pleased for you and Lauren.” Ally told her
seriously. “You two are so cute together. As Dinah would say, the
two of you ‘give me all kinds of feels.’” Ally laughed as she
remembered Dinah saying that to them when they’d been at the
hospital after Camila’s last seizure. “She spends too much time on
social networking websites.” Camila replied. “I finally decided that
she needed to cut back when she started writing hash tags about
me and Lauren all over my notebook. She even gave us a ship
name.” “Oh,” Ally said in realisation. “That’s what ‘#camren’
means. I’ve spent ages trying to figure it out.” Camila laughed.
“I’m really glad that you found each other,” Ally continued. “You
can see how happy you make each other.” Camila smiled at Ally’s
words. “I guess my next question is,” Ally went on. “What are you
going to do about everything you’d planned? I’m assuming that
kind of went out of the window if you made it official today.”
“Ugh,” Camila groaned. “I know, it just kind of happened today, in
the bathroom of all places. Can you believe it?” “Romantic,” Ally
laughed. “Lauren does so much for me and I wanted everything to
be special when I asked her” Camila said. “I wanted to do
something nice for her for a change.” “I know,” Ally replied.
 “You’ve been planning it for ages. It’s all me and Normani have
been talking about, it’s so cute.” Camila rolled her eyes at Ally’s
use of the word cute. “It is,” Ally told her seriously. “You’re just
too adorable Camila. You have to accept that and move on.”
“Yeah well, you’re short.” Camila said because she couldn’t think
of anything else to say in response. “You’ve already said that,”
Ally told her laughing once more. “Well, it’s still true,” Camila said
sticking out her tongue. “So, are you still going to go through with
it?” Ally asked her. “Yes,” Camila replied. “I mean, I still want to
do something nice for Lauren so, I should right?” “Yes,” Ally
practically squealed. “You definitely should.” “Ok then,” Camila
said, nodding her head as if making a decision. “I will then.” Ally
smiled as Mr Lopez stood up from his desk and called their
attention back to the front of the room. They didn’t get a chance
to talk any more throughout the rest of the class but when the
bell rang for lunch, Ally grabbed up her bag, wrapping it in her
arms to her chest whilst she waited for Camila to gather her own
things. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trials-
andtribulationschapter16 6/11 “So are you going to tell Lauren?”
Ally asked her as Camila struggled with the zip on her bag. “No,”
Camila replied. “It’s not a surprise if she knows about it, is it?” “I
actually can’t wait to see her face,” Ally commented as they made
their way out of class. “If she doesn’t drop dead in surprise she’ll
probably burst out crying. It’s going to be amazing.” “Alright, keep
it in your pants Ally.” Camila laughed. “It’s not that exciting.” “Are
 you kidding?” Ally asked looking at Camila seriously. “It’s
extremely exciting. When was the last time you…” Camila stopped
Ally quickly with a firm prod of her elbow to the smaller girls’ ribs
as Lauren and Normani approached from the direction of their
chemistry class. “Ow,” Ally complained. “Sorry,” Camila
apologised as Normani and Lauren came to a stop in front of
them. “Hey guys,” Normani greeted, lifting her hand in greeting.
“Hi,” Ally responded as Lauren stepped towards Camila and kissed
her on the lips in greeting. “How did it go with Miss Lovato?”
Lauren asked her stepping back. “It was fine,” Camila told her,
“turns out she wasn’t really that upset about me leaving class.”
“What did she want to talk about then?” Lauren asked her. Camila
opened her bag up and pulled out her assignment handing it to
Lauren who took it from her easily. Normani glanced at the paper
over Lauren’s shoulder. “You got an A +?!” Lauren asked ecstatic,
reading the grade momentarily before throwing her arms around
Camila’s shoulders and pulling her into a congratulatory hug.
“Yeah,” Camila said happily. “How amazing is that?” “Almost as
amazing as you,” Lauren told her releasing her from the hug but
keeping one arm wrapped around Camila’s waist. “Oh my God,”
Normani said as Dinah came up beside the group. “That
was…wow… that was….I can’t even formulate a sentence it was so
nauseatingly sweet.” “Shut up,” Lauren said as they made their
way towards the cafeteria and their regular table for lunch. “Did
you hear that these two are now official?” Normani asked Dinah
as they took their usual seats. “What?” Dinah asked as she pulled
out her packed lunch from her bag on the table in front of her.
“Camren?” “Would you stop calling us that?” Lauren laughed.
“Yes,” Normani confirmed for Dinah and ignoring Lauren’s
comment. “Camren are now officially girlfriends.” “Wait what
about…” Dinah started but ceased when Camila forcefully kicked
her underneath the table. “Ouch, fuck, what was that for?” Dinah
asked reaching down to rub at her leg, meeting Camila’s pointed
gaze. “Spasm,” Camila said when she noticed Lauren looking at
her strangely and she feigned rubbing her own leg. “You’ve never
had spasms before,” Lauren said narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
“First time for everything I guess,” Camila said shrugging and she
mouthed sorry to Dinah when Lauren was occupied finding her
own lunch in her bag. Dinah raised her eyebrow questioningly at
Camila who held her finger over her lips in a silent gesture that
told Dinah to keep quiet about what she’d had planned. “So….”
Dinah said, taking a bite of her sandwich. “What happened? Tell
me everything.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 7/11 Lauren informed Dinah what had
happened when she’d followed Camila to the bathroom during
English prompting Dinah to ask, raising her eyebrow suggestively,
“Are you sure that’s all you got up to in the bathroom?” She
cursed again as Camila kicked her under the table once more,
Lauren blushing profusely at the insinuation as always. “Another
 spasm?” Lauren asked her laughing a little, her face bright red.
“No,” Camila answered smiling and Dinah scowled at her a
moment before laughing despite herself. “I forgot that you’re
more astute to those now.” Dinah told her still chuckling. “It’s not
anywhere near as much fun when I get kicked because of it.”
“Well maybe you’ll stop being so mean now,” Camila teased. “I’d
prefer it if you could just go back to being completely oblivious to
it all,” Dinah joked. “To what?” Camila said playfully. “See, that’s
more like it,” Dinah laughed and Camila smiled brightly. “Hey,
Cc…ca….camila,” they heard someone say behind them and
Camila and the rest of the girls’ turned to come face to face with
David Johnson the shooting guard on the JV basketball team. He
was accompanied by two of his friends, one of the cheerleaders
from the JV squad and her friend, who Lauren noticed to her
dismay, was her exgirlfriend Rachel. “Nice presentation earlier.
Shame you ch…cho…cho…choked.” Camila went to stand up as
David’s group of friend laughed but Lauren stayed her by placing a
hand on her arm. “Just ignore him,” Lauren told her seriously.
“Yeah listen to you L…La…Lauren.” David mocked. “She needs the
time in order to fulfil her community service, isn’t that right? How
long do you have left babysitting the retard Jauregui?” Camila
went to stand up again but Lauren grasped her arm firmly,
keeping her in place. “You know it’s ironic that you call Camila
that considering her GPA is still better than yours David,” Lauren
said pointedly, causing him to glower angrily. “As if Lauren,” David
 dismissed spitefully. “This idiot can’t even tie her own fucking
shoelaces properly.” He finished gesturing towards Camila whose
eyes had narrowed dangerously as his group of friends laughed.
Lauren noticed Camila’s clenched fists on the table, her head low
and her back turned towards David. Her knuckles had turned
white and Lauren could sense the anger and hurt radiating off of
her. “She can’t even fucking write,” David went on, ignorant to
Camila’s quickly changing mood. “My kid brother has better
handwriting than her. I don’t even know why they let her come
back to school. She’d be better off at a special school with other
people like her.” “Hey asshole,” Dinah said standing up. “Shut the
fuck up before I make you.” “Like I’m scared of you,” David said
seriously, turning his goading back to Camila. “Besides, her brain
is probably so fucking mushed that she doesn’t even understand
what I’m saying. Isn’t that right C…Ca…Camila?” Before Lauren
could stop her, Camila had shot up out of her seat, scraping the
chair back noisily to swing a punch in David’s direction. Lauren
closed her eyes awaiting for the sound of her fist to connect with
his face, but, opened them quickly when nothing happened,
pleasantly surprised to find that Camila was being restrained by a
rapidly thinking Dinah, who had both arms wrapped around her
small form restrictively. Lauren heard David and the rest of his
group of friends laugh as they walked off, leaving Camila, furiously
fighting Dinah’s hold on her, evidently incensed. “Jesus Camila,”
Dinah said struggling to maintain her hold on the girl. “Calm the
 fuck down ok? Just ignore them.” “Dd…don’t…te…tell
me…t…t…t…to…calm….down.” Camila spat out, still twisting
herself in an attempt to escape Dinah’s arms.
“Ll…let…let…m…me….go!” Camila cried
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 8/11 trying to turn around to face Dinah
and pushing her fists into the other girls’ chest. “Camila,” Lauren
said standing up and placing a hand on her shoulder calmingly as
she noticed a few of the teachers in the lunch room looking in
their direction curiously, including Miss Lovato and Mr Lopez who
were having a discussion in the food line. “Dd…Dinah!” Camila
almost screamed, but Dinah wouldn’t let her go. “Not until you
calm down,” Dinah told her seriously, aware of the all the eyes
which had suddenly turned their attention towards their group.
“Fff…fu…fucking…let…ll…et….go.” Camila said stubbornly, pushing
Dinah even harder, but still the bigger girl wouldn’t relaxed her
grip. “Camila,” Lauren tried again as Miss Lovato and Mr Lopez
approached, concerned at the scene before them. “Stop alright.
Please.” “What’s going on?” Mr Lopez asked noting Dinah’s vice
like hold on Camila and her obvious distress. “Nothing,” Lauren
tried to reassure them, looking at Camila with pleading eyes but,
she could tell that it was pointless, that, just like the time she’d
completely given in to her emotions and taken them out on
Lauren’s car, Camila’s volitional control was already too far gone.
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Mr Lopez noted watching Camila
 still squirming in Dinah’s grasp. “David Johnson riled her up,”
Normani said concerned at Camila’s behaviour. “He was teasing
her, calling her stupid, she tried to hit him.” “She didn’t though,”
Lauren clarified quickly at Miss Lovato’s raised eyebrow. “Dinah
grabbed her and then…this happened…” Mr Lopez and Miss
Lovato shared a look before the latter stepped forward to place a
hand on one of Camila’s shoulders. “Camila,” she said her voice
calm and deliberate. “Look at me,” she commanded but Camila
was still too busy trying to free herself to listen. “Jjj…Jee…Jjjesus,”
Camila muttered tears coming to her eyes. “Ddiiiiiinah…
ppppleeease….” She begged and Lauren could see Dinah’s resolve
break slightly and her grip relaxed around Camila’s torso. As it did
so, Camila was trying to lift her left arm out from where it was
confined between their bodies forcefully and now that it had
more space to manoeuvre it flung back wildly, striking Miss Lovato
in the face. “Sshhiiit,” Camila forced out, clutching at her left hand
with her right and wincing in pain slightly, her senses seemingly
coming back to her rapidly. She instantly looked apologetic as she
noticed Miss Lovato’s hand at her face, all the fight from seconds
ago completely lost now that she could see what she’d done.
“Ok,” Mr Lopez said, stepping in and taking hold of Camila’s wrists
in his hands almost immediately to prevent her from striking out
again. “Oww,” Camila moaned, her face contorting in pain as he
clasped her left hand tightly. “Fffuuck,” she sobbed. “Stop it,”
Lauren commanded as Miss Lovato said, “No.” Mr Lopez relaxed
his hold straightaway, releasing Camila’s wrist. “Sorry,” he said as
Camila bent over taking her left arm in her right and dropped her
head. After a minute, she held her left arm into her stomach
protectively, lifting her right hand to her forehead which
remained bowed. She banged the heel of her hand gently against
her head, muttering inaudible words to herself and Miss Lovato,
one eye shut closed, stepped towards her. “Camila,” she said
calmly as Camila raised her other hand to her head and rocked
forward slightly. “Camila look at me, it’s alright ok?” Camila didn’t
look up, she didn’t even seem to register that someone was
talking to her and Lauren stepped forward to try. “Camz,” Lauren
said gently. “Babe, please look at me.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61113907220/trialsand-
tribulationschapter16 9/11 Camila lifted her head to meet
Lauren’s eyes and she looked so pitiful that it took everything in
Lauren not to cry at the sight of her. “It’s alright,” Lauren said
reaching for Camila’s right hand but she stepped back slightly like
she was afraid she’d hurt Lauren if she came to close. “It’s ok…”
Lauren tried again, but Camila looked more pained and wary than
Lauren had ever seen her. “Camila Cabello,” Someone said in a
deep voice from behind Lauren and she turned to see the
principal approaching their group. “Mr Michaels,” Miss Lovato
said lifting her hand in protest. “It’s fine honestly.” “What is?” Mr
Michaels asked clearly unaware of what had just transpired.
“Camila hit me, but, it was an accident,” Miss Lovato informed
 him. “I’m dealing with it ok?” “Miss Cabello can you please come
with me?” Mr Michaels said gesturing for Camila to follow him.
Camila glanced at Lauren and the rest of her friends dejectedly
before reaching for her bag with her right hand and struggling to
put it over her shoulder. “Mr Michaels, really it’s fine. I can deal
with this,” Miss Lovato told him. “I’m sure you can Miss Lovato,”
the principal told her sincerely, “but this isn’t about what’s just
happened.” “It’s not,” Miss Lovato said surprised and Camila’s
eyes lifted up to look at him curiously. “No,” Mr Michaels told her
turning to Camila again. “Miss Cabello,” he prompted her again. “I
don’t….I…dd…don’t…understand,” Camila said, unmoving. “Your
mom is on her way in to pick you up,” Mr Michaels told her
simply. “Wwwhy?” Camila asked, remaining in place, a sudden
sense of dread overcoming her. “I think it’s probably best if she
explains it to you,” Mr Michaels said kindly as he lifted his arm as
though to guide her towards the exit and his office. Camila looked
uncertainly at those around her and shook her head. “No,” she
said anxiously. He sighed sadly. “She’s taking you down to the
police station,” Mr Michaels informed her. “They think they’ve
finally found the driver of the car that hit you.” “Ww…whhaat?”
Camila said, taking a step back aghast, all the colour draining from
her face, her expression one of pure shock. “Please Miss Cabello,”
Mr Michaels said seriously. “I need you to come with me.”
However, instead of moving to follow him, Camila fumbled for
Lauren’s hand without looking, finally finding it and taking it
 within her own, holding it tightly. Her body otherwise was
completely paralysed and Lauren couldn’t help but think that she
was the only thing keeping Camila grounded. Camila looked like
she was going to pass out, or vomit, but, in reality she’d probably
do both. Lauren didn’t blame her because she felt exactly the
same way and she hadn’t even been involved. A/N: Sorry I missed
an update yesterday but I didn’t have time to sit down and write.
My day was mental. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter x
Chapter 17
Camila remembered very little after that. One minute she was
astutely aware of Lauren’s hand in her own, the warmth
emanating from Lauren’s touch providing her comfort, the
interlocking of their fingers together giving her some small degree
of reassurance. The next, she was sat in a barren interview room
down at the local police station, a table and five chairs the only
thing occupying the room besides the one way mirror used for
viewing of interrogations. There was a large clock fixed onto the
wall, its second hand echoing loudly as it ticked in the small space.
Camila remembered being at lunch, she remembered David
Johnson and his mocking taunts; Dinah’s firm hold around her as
she struggled to get free, accidentally striking Miss Lovato. Camila
even recalled Principal Michaels approaching and the look of
concern on Lauren’s face when he’d asked her to accompany him.
“They think they’ve finally found the driver of the car that hit
you.” Those were the last words that Camila distinctly
 remembered before everything became background noise,
audible but not understood or acknowledged. Now, Camila sat in
the interview room with no awareness of how she had gotten
there, the memories seemingly lost to her, just like all the others
surrounding her accident, sucked into the same oblivion, the
same black hole, never to trouble her again. Camila was aware of
very few things as she sat in between her mom and her dad facing
two sympathetic looking female police detectives on the other
side of the table. She could still feel the throbbing in her left wrist
as she sat there numbly, hearing but not listening, watching but
not really seeing what was going on around her. She was vaguely
aware of the manila folders on the table in front of her and that
the detectives were talking to her parents. She could hear the
angry tone in her dad’s voice as he responded to their words, but
if someone asked her to repeat the conversation later; she’d not
have been able to, her ears seemingly full of cotton wool, the
noise strangely muffled and distant. Camila had a headache, she
was very aware of that fact and she raised her right hand to rub at
her temple in an attempt to soothe it unsuccessfully. Her head
was clammy to touch and she wiped the sweat from her brow
with the back of her hand quickly. Camila truly felt like she was
submerged underwater, drowning, her chest was constricted
tightly, painfully, as she fought for breath and she feared she
would pass out from lack of adequate oxygen intake any second.
Camila could feel her heart pounding furiously and couldn’t rid
 herself of the idea that any minute it would break free of her rib
cage it was beating so loud. Camila felt dizzy and wished more
than anything that she could rest her head on the table and close
her eyes to sleep, but, in the back of her mind, logic told her she
couldn’t, that what was happening around her was important and
she should try to stay awake. Camila’s mouth was almost
completely dry and it hurt every time she tried to swallow, her
saliva more or less nonexistent. “I’m having a panic attack” Camila
realised suddenly and she squinted her eyes in an attempt to
focus on the detective sat in front of her, making a concerted
effort to steady her breathing, to calm down. She heard Lauren’s
voice in the back of her head saying, “Just breathe Camz,” and
Camila tried to obey the soothing voice, wishing that Lauren were
here with her now, to reassure her that everything would be
alright, that she’d be fine. “Camila,” a soft, calming voice
addressed her and Camila took a moment to realise it was the
female detective who was sat across the table. She was wearing a
navy blue pants suit, had long blonde hair and bright piercing blue
eyes which were watching Camila closely with evident concern
and understanding. “Do you want something to drink?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 2/9 Camila took a moment to understand
the offer before nodding her head silently in response. The female
detective proceeded to pour Camila a glass of cold water from a
jug on the table in front of her which she hadn’t even noticed was
 there. She held out the glass for Camila, who reached out a shaky
hand to take it from her gratefully. Unable to control the
movement of bringing her hand to her mouth with just her right
hand because it was shaking so violently, Camila used her left to
help steady it, wincing slightly as she did so, her wrist still painful
from earlier. “Take small sips,” the detective advised her and
Camila did as she was instructed, water still spilling out of her
mouth a little. She wiped at her chin with the sleeve of her left
arm as she placed the glass back on the table in front of her. “Is
that a bit better?” the detective asked Camila and she nodded,
her faculties slowly seeming to return to her. She could hear her
parents talking to the other detective in the room now and tried
to listen to their conversation but the other detective spoke again,
pulling Camila’s attention back to her. “Camila, I’m Jennifer,” the
detective introduced herself. “Do you remember meeting me
before?” Camila shook her head, completely unaware of ever
having met the other woman in the past. “That’s ok,” Jennifer told
her supportively. “You were still really unwell the last time we
spoke.” Camila just stared at her because she didn’t know what to
say in response and her mouth was still so dry that she didn’t
even know if she’d be able to speak even if she wanted to. “Do
you know why you’re here?” Jennifer asked her and Camila wiped
the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand again as she
nodded. “Ok,” Jennifer said in response. “That’s good.” Jennifer
paused for a moment to look towards her colleague who was now
 watching the interaction with Camila interestedly along with her
parents. Jennifer picked up one of the manila folders from the
table and opened it up, turning it around to face Camila so that
she could see some pictures that were hidden inside. “Camila,”
Jennifer started encouragingly. “We think that we’ve found the
driver responsible for your accident.” She continued. “I would
really like it if you could have a look at these pictures for me and
tell me if you recognise any of the cars here.”
“I…I…don’t…remember,” Camila stuttered out shaking her head
and she felt her mom place a hand on her shoulder. “Just have a
look mija,” Sinu prompted her, lightly rubbing her arm. “Try, ok?”
Camila looked up to meet her mom’s eyes and saw that they were
red and tear stained, but she couldn’t comprehend why. She
lowered her gaze to the pictures and tried to study them as best
as she could, but, they all just looked like any other car that she
would see on the road. There was a blue Chevrolet, a red Toyota,
a yellow Mustang, but, nothing out of the ordinary. Camila shook
her head as she looked through the images. “Sss…sorry,” Camila
said apologetically, wiping at her brow once more, her hand
coming away wet and covered in sweat. She could feel her hair
stuck to her forehead and felt desperate to climb into a refreshing
shower. “That’s ok,” Jennifer said, placing a hand on top of
Camila’s on the table. “Don’t worry alright?” “Do you need her to
pick it out in order to charge him?” Camila’s dad asked concerned.
“We have eye witness accounts and descriptions of the car with a
 partial plate number,” the other detective informed him. “We’re
just awaiting a warrant to track down any repairs or work it might
have had over the last five months and forensics are already
looking at it for any trace evidence.” “What does that mean?” her
dad asked. “We’ve contacted the witnesses from the day of the
accident,” Jennifer told him. “If it’s the right car then they’ll
hopefully be able to pick it out. Hopefully we should be able to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 3/9 find enough evidence to charge him.”
“Hopefully?” Camila’s dad questioned. “Witnesses won’t be
enough to get a conviction,” Jennifer informed him. “We need
some physical evidence. We need proof of work done to the car
after the accident if possible; otherwise it’s all just circumstantial
and a defence attorney will argue that it could have been any
other car of the same make, not their clients.” Camila’s dad
looked at her, his eyes angry, but, not at her, at the situation.
They were finally looking at some closure, to finally have some
answers and see justice done, but, it was all riding on there being
some evidence almost six months after the fact and that was
looking very unlikely. “Camila,” Jennifer addressed her again. “I
want you to have a look at each picture again, really closely
alright? Take your time with them.” She paused for a moment to
set the pictures out in front of Camila in a line on the table. There
were eight in total and she pointed to the one nearest to Camila
first. “I know it’s hard but really try to think back to that day. Talk
 me through it if you can. Just what you remember…you were
walking back from the beach….” Camila looked between her
parents who were watching her expectantly before turning her
attention back to the picture that the detective was pointing at.
“It was…hot,” Camila said, taking a deep breath and making sure
to speak slowly and think about her words. She already felt
tonguetied but she knew that this was important; it wasn’t just an
exercise at school. She needed to be able to talk, to tell them
what happened. “I’d…been down the beach.” She said her speech
slow and effortful. “Reading.” She swallowed hard her mouth dry
once again. “Great,” Jennifer encouraged pointing to the next
picture. “You got to the crosswalk…” she started for her. “I…was
listening to my iPod.” Camila told her turning her attention to the
next picture, the detective now sitting back and crossing her arms
in front of her to listen. “It was…Ed Sheeran…I…pressed the
button at the crosswalk…waited…” Camila looked to the picture of
the red Toyota again as she continued. “I saw…a woman…she
was…on the other side of the road…pushing a stroller along the
sidewalk.” Camila’s mom rubbed her arm supportively and Camila
lifted her right hand to her head, the throbbing in her temple
getting worse with each passing second. “Then….the light turned
green,” Camila said glancing at the blue Chevrolet Cruze in front
of her. “So…I stepped out into the road…” “What happened then
Camila?” Jennifer asked gently when she didn’t continue. “I
don’t…” Camila started closing her eyes and trying to remember.
“I…” she opened them to look at the detective in front of her who
had a sad smile on her face. “You’re doing great Camila,” Jennifer
told her. “I remember the woman,” Camila continued after a
moment, still glancing between the pictures in front of her. “The
one with the stroller…she looked at me…she said…
something…shouted, Ithink…but…I couldn’t hear…” “Because of
your iPod,” Jennifer stated rather than asked. Camila nodded.
“She looked worried,” Camila told her. “She…pointed…at
something…to my right… she…started to move towards me…”
“Did you look Camila?” she asked with interest. “Did you turn to
look at what she was pointing at?” Camila closed her eyes, feeling
sick. She reached for her head, rubbing at the scar across her
brow with the heel of her hand. Her skin felt like it was on fire and
sweat was leaking from her every pore. She tried to think of
anything but the accident, she wished that Lauren was here with
her. Lauren always seemed to know exactly what to say, exactly
what to do to make her feel better. Camila found it easy to talk to
Lauren. She wanted to talk to her now. “Camila,” Jennifer said
kindly, perceptive to the fact that Camila was starting to lose
focus. “What did you do next? Did you turn to look?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 4/9 “Yes,” Camila said opening her eyes to
look at the pictures on the table again. “I turned…” “What did you
see?” Jennifer asked her. “Talk me through it.” Camila felt her
stomach churn and the room span slightly as she thought. “Blue,”
 she said simply. “I saw…blue.” Out of the eight cars pictured on
the table only three of them were blue. The detective removed
the other five and pushed the three remaining closer to Camila
who had closed her eyes once again. “Camila,” Jennifer pushed
gently. “Open your eyes. It’s ok…I just need you to have a look,
that’s all. You’re safe here. You’re just looking at some pictures.
Nothing can hurt you.” Camila opened her eyes to look at the
three remaining pictures and she placed her hand on the side of
her face, resting on her elbow as though it was the only thing
propping her up. “What else did you see?” Jennifer asked softly.
“I…didn’t…I didn’t see anything else.” Camila said. “Try to think,”
Camila’s dad encouraged her. He placed a hand on her cheek as
she turned to look at him. “I…can’t,” she said, tears springing to
her eyes. “I’m…sss…sorry.” “It’s ok,” her dad said, kissing her
forehead lightly. “It’s ok mija. Shh…” “Camila,” her mom said, as
her dad released her. “Please…” she almost begged. “Just… look
again.” She put a hand on top of Camila’s right one and squeezed
it carefully. “You remember…you do…I hear you screaming at
night…I hear you…” her mom was openly crying now and Camila
felt herself sob in response to her mom’s distress. “You remember
something…you do…” Camila held her head in her hands for a
moment and closed her eyes. She needed an aspirin for the
relentlessly pounding headache which refused to ease but, she
did what was asked of her, opening her eyes to look at the three
pictures once again. “I…” she started to say, no inspiration coming
 to her, but she stopped after a moment, her eyes fixing on the
picture of the Blue Dodge Avenger on the far right. Suddenly,
Camila remembered, not the accident exactly, but, the day that
she’d chased Lauren out of the house and thrown herself in front
of her car to stop her leaving. Lauren had a red Chevrolet Cruze,
but, when she’d jumped in front of her car that day, Camila had
seen a blue car, the flashbacks hitting her so hard and fast that
they had almost knocked Camila off her feet she’d been so
disorientated. Suddenly it all came back to her once more and she
felt her stomach lurch as though she was on a ride at the fair, her
head spinning dizzily, her world flipping upside down. “Camila?”
Her mom said evidently concerned at the way the colour had
seemingly drained from her daughters face. Camila remembered
it all now, the black grill on the front of the car split into four by a
cross, the word Dodge visible in the bottom right segment. She
remembered the dark metallic blue of the car; she remembered
her heart stopping in her chest, the split second before impact
and then the allconsuming black that followed. Camila put the
back of her hand to her mouth for a moment before quickly
pushing the third picture towards the detective. She swallowed
hard as she said, “That one.” The detectives exchanged
meaningful looks and Camila knew then that she was right. That
she’d chosen the right car and that all this time what she’d
thought were just dreams, were in fact repressed memories.
Camila felt the room close in around her and an overwhelming
 understanding that she was feeling far too hot for this time of
year. The headache she had continued to throb painfully and she
rubbed furiously at her head once more. She had the irresistible
urge to get out of this room, feeling claustrophobic all of a
sudden, like the walls were pressing in around her and so she
stood up quickly, unsteady on her feet.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 5/9 “Camila,” her mom said concerned,
standing up as well as Camila pushed her chair back, leaning her
hands on the table in front of her for support a moment. Camila
straightened up and started to make her way to the door, her feet
feeling alien underneath her. She pictured Bambi trying to walk
on ice and imagined that she looked very similar in this moment
but halfway to the door, Camila knew it was futile to attempt to
leave, the nausea overpowering her, causing her head to spin to
the point that she could not see straight. Camila dropped to her
knees and put the back of her hand to her mouth, but, it was too
late and she couldn’t stop herself from being sick, the bile burning
in her throat unpleasantly. “Camila,” her mom said worriedly,
bending down beside her and pulling her hair back out of the way.
She rubbed her daughters’ back soothingly as Camila continued to
vomit, not moving until she was just dry heaving on the spot.
Jennifer came over to Camila’s side at this point as well holding a
glass of water and she put it to Camila’s lips and encouraged her
to drink as the youngster sat back onto the floor. Sinu pulled her
 daughter into her arms, kissing her on the forehead as she gently
rocked her back and forth. “It’s ok,” Sinu comforted her,
continually kissing the top of her daughters head in between her
words. “You did so well mija. You’re alright I promise. It’s ok.”
“What happens now?” Camila’s dad asked from where he stood
by the table. “Ideally,” the other detective started, “We’d take
Camila to look at a line up to see if she could identify the driver.”
“I don’t think…” Her dad started to protest. “I agree with you,”
the detective interceded quickly. “It’s not the time right now. It
wouldn’t be fair on Camila.” She paused for a minute to look at
the girl who remained on the floor in her mom’s arms. “We have a
positive identification of the car,” she said after a minute. “We’re
awaiting results from the lab and a warrant for the repairs
manifesto. The partial plate we got from one of the witnesses
matches…we’ve got enough to hold the driver for twenty four
hours. Perhaps Camila can come back tomorrow to complete the
identity parade?” “I think that would be best,” Her dad said
seriously, looking at his daughter with concern as Jennifer and
Sinu helped her to her feet. “Take her home,” the detective told
him kindly. “She could probably do with a rest.” “Thank you,” her
dad said gratefully, shaking the detectives’ hand. “We’ll be in
touch,” she informed him offering a wave goodbye to Sinu as her
and Jennifer helped Camila out of the room. The detective
watched sadly as Camila’s dad followed them, staring back down
at the picture on the table that Camila had picked out. Camila’s
dad drove them home; her mom huddled with Camila in the back
of the car, her arms wrapped protectively around her daughter
who didn’t speak. Once back in their own house, Camila’s mom
helped her upstairs and into the shower whilst her dad spoke to
her grandmother downstairs, who had stayed at the house to look
after Sofia in their absence. Sinu helped Camila, who had said
nothing since they’d left the police station, to wash, enveloping
her in a large towel and hugging her tightly in her arms,
desperately praying for her to snap out of the near catatonic state
she’d fallen in to. Sinu helped Camila into her pyjamas and guided
her into her bedroom and under her duvet before sinking into the
bed beside her. She pulled her daughter into her side and Camila
shifted position slightly to bury her face in her mom’s chest. Sinu
kissed Camila on the forehead soothingly and encouraged her to
sleep, continuing to hold her tightly and not letting go until she
could hear Camila’s soft snores. Sinu had stayed with her a little
while longer, watching Camila sleep soundly until she finally
decided to vacate the room and left her daughter to rest alone,
closing the door slightly behind her. It was a few hours later when
Sinu, sat downstairs on the sofa with Sofi entangled in her arms,
heard a gentle knock at the door. She handed her youngest
daughter to her husband to hold whilst she got up to answer it,
not surprised to find Lauren, looking distressed and anxious on
the other side. She invited her inside immediately, gesturing for
Lauren to enter. “How is she?” Lauren asked as soon as she’d
 stepped foot over the threshold. Sinu closed the door behind the
youngster and placed a hand on her shoulder to guide her
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 6/9 into the kitchen. “Is she alright?” “She’s
sleeping,” Sinu told her, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table
which Lauren took gratefully. Sinu sat beside her and placed a
hand on top of Lauren’s reassuringly. “She was very much out of it
when we got her home.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
concern etched in her voice. “She was just very vacant,” Sinu
informed her. “It’s been a really long day, what with all the
trouble at school as well.” “That wasn’t her fault,” Lauren
protested. “It was…” “I know,” Sinu reassured her again. “Miss
Lovato spoke to me when I came to pick Camila up. She’s told me
that she is going to deal with the people involved accordingly.”
“Did they find the driver?” Lauren asked her curiously, already
aware of the situation at school. “They think so,” Sinu replied.
“They’re waiting for some warrants and tests to come back.”
“That’s good right?” Lauren asked. “I mean, they’ll finally know
who did this to her. She can…start to put it behind her.” “I hope
so,” Sinu said smiling at Lauren’s words. “Good,” Lauren said
nodding her head. “That’s good then.” “Do you want to see her?”
Sinu asked her knowingly. “Can I?” Lauren asked slightly
surprised. “I mean, is that alright?” “Yeah,” Sinu said squeezing
her hand firmly. “Perhaps you can get her to say something. She’s
not spoken since we left the police station.” “Stress…” Lauren said
 her thoughts trailing off. “Maybe,” Sinu agreed standing up and
heading to the fridge to pour a glass of juice. She stopped by the
cupboard to pull out a bag of chips before placing them both on
the table in front of Lauren. “See if you can get her to eat or drink
something,” Sinu encouraged her. “Ok,” Lauren agreed picking up
the two items as she stood from her chair. “I will I promise.” “I
know you will,” Sinu told her sincerely, grateful for the younger
girl and her kind temperament, especially when it came to Camila.
“If you need anything we’ll just be in the lounge alright.” Lauren
nodded her head in response, “Ok,” she agreed following Sinu out
of the kitchen and making her way up the stairs towards Camila’s
room. Sinu watched her from the bottom of the stairs for a
moment before disappearing into the lounge. Once on the
landing, Lauren used her foot to push Camila’s bedroom door
open, her hands otherwise occupied. She placed the drink and the
bag of chips on Camila’s desk after entering the room, before
carefully making her way over to the bed where Camila lay on her
side, her eyes open and staring out of the window at the grey sky
beyond. Lauren climbed onto the mattress beside Camila, laying
her body against her girlfriends’, spooning her. She draped her
left arm across Camila’s waist and buried her chin in to the crook
of Camila’s neck, snuggling against her. “Hey,” Lauren said softly,
her voice quiet. “It’s me…” Lauren felt Camila’s left hand move to
entwine their fingers together in front of her and smiled at the
small gesture, pulling Camila into her even closer in response.
 Lauren tilted her head slightly to kiss the side of Camila’s neck
with her lips tenderly, making a trail up to her jaw. “Are you ok?”
Lauren asked her, brushing Camila’s hair with her free hand,
playing with the long dark locks delicately. Camila shook her head
and Lauren kissed her neck once more, wrapping her arm tightly
around Camila’s middle, continuing to caress the side of her head
with the fingers of her free hand. Lauren felt Camila’s small form
shake slightly in a sob before she turned over in the bed to face
her, their hands still locked together.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 7/9 “I wish you’d been there,” Camila told
her burying her face into Lauren’s chest. “I wish I was there too,”
Lauren said honestly, stroking the back of Camila’s head with her
hand, “Shh…” she comforted her, playing mindlessly with Camila’s
fingers in her other hand. “I’m here now, it’s ok.” “I
remembered,” Camila told her after a minute had passed. “I
remembered the accident…” “I’m sorry,” Lauren told her, kissing
her forehead soothingly. “I’m so sorry Camila. I wish you didn’t
have to, I wish I could do something to help…” “You are,” Camila
told her, lifting her tear stained eyes to meet Lauren’s. “Just by
being here, you are helping.” Lauren kissed Camila on the lips,
silently praying that in one simple gesture she could rid her of all
the pain, of all the heartache she was feeling. Camila
reciprocated, needy, reluctant to separate. “Don’t leave me,”
Camila begged sadly after they’d parted. “Please?” “I won’t,”
 Lauren promised. “I’m right here. I promise. I’m not going
anywhere.” Camila sobbed then, harder than Lauren had ever
seen her do so before and she felt tears come to her own eyes as
she too cried. She cried because Camila was in pain, because she
felt completely and utterly unable to ease it completely and in this
moment she felt like there was absolutely nothing she could do.
Nothing. “Camila,” Lauren said her voice small. “Talk to me,
please…what are you thinking right now.” “I’m thinking about
them,” Camila told her crying as Lauren met her gaze. “The
driver…” “It’s ok,” Lauren told her, caressing the top of her head
and stroking her brow with her fingers. “They can’t hurt you
anymore.” “No,” Camila acknowledged sadly, “I know…but… I
wish they were dead Lauren…I wish they’d…I want them to have
suffered…like I have…” Lauren could hear the selfloathing in
Camila’s words as she vocalised her thoughts out loud. She knew
that Camila hated herself for thinking it, for wanting someone else
to have the misfortune that she did. “I don’t want to think it…”
Camila continued. “But I do…so…what does that make me… I’m a
horrible person Lauren.” “No you’re not,” Lauren told her
seriously, wiping at Camila’s eyes with the pad of her thumb
trying to stem her tears. “You’re one of the nicest, kindest,
smartest people I know.” Lauren said sincerely. “Don’t ever think
that you’re a horrible person Camila. Not ever, alright?” “They left
me there to die,” Camila said simply. “Like I was nothing…like I
wasn’t even a person…” “I know,” Lauren confirmed, rubbing
 Camila’s arm reflexively. “They hit me,” Camila finally recognised.
“They ran me down…” “I know,” Lauren said again, because she
didn’t know what else to say. “I know they did.” “It wasn’t my
fault,” Camila finally accepted. “They…they ruined my life
Lauren… everything is so much harder now…I can’t…” “You can,”
Lauren interrupted her. “You can Camila. You’ll get through this.
I’ll help you. We’ll all help you.” “You promise?” Camila asked her.
“I promise,” Lauren confirmed. “I’ll always be here for you. You’ll
always have me.” Lauren paused for a moment before finally
admitting what she’d always known all along. “I love you,” she
said to Camila, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of her
chest. It felt so good to say the words out loud. “Ok…I love you
Camila….I do…and I’m not going anywhere.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61199519236/trialsand-
tribulationschapter17 8/9 Lauren didn’t expect Camila to say it
back, didn’t expect a reciprocation of her words in any form so,
when Camila buried herself into Lauren’s chest even further and
muttered, “I think I’m falling in love with you too,” Lauren
couldn’t help but hold the other girl tighter and cry in a strange
combination of despairing sadness and unreserved joy all at once
Chapter 18
“Hey Lauren,” Camila began tentatively after a while. They had
been wrapped up together on Camila’s bed, their arms and legs
entangled for around an hour, their tears soon subsiding as the
pair of them lay in silence, enjoying the comfort of each other’s
 presence. Lauren caressed the small of Camila’s back with her
fingertips as the smaller girl remained buried into her chest. “Yeah
Camz,” Lauren replied, lifting one hand up to brush a stray strand
of hair out of Camila’s eyes where it had fallen. “What happened
today?” Camila asked her uncertainly. “What do you mean?”
Lauren asked her, sitting up in the bed slightly. “At school,” Camila
clarified as she propped herself up on one elbow. Lauren frowned,
pushing herself up into a sitting position to rest her back against
the head board of the bed. “I don’t understand,” Lauren told her
truthfully as Camila shifted position to look at her better. “What
do you mean? When at school?” “After Principal Michaels came
to the cafeteria to tell me about the driver,” Camila explained.
“You don’t remember?” Lauren asked her evidently surprised.
“Not really,” Camila admitted. “The last thing I can picture clearly
is him telling me that the police thought they’d found the driver
and…I remember holding your hand. That’s it. Everything after
that is kind of a blur.” “Well,” Lauren said shifting her position
against the back of the bed and reaching down to take Camila’s
hand in her own. She began to play with Camila’s fingers
mindlessly as if out of some longstanding habit. “Nothing much
really,” Lauren told her. “I came with you to Principal Michael’s
office,” Lauren went on. “So did Miss Lovato,” Lauren informed
her. “Then we waited for your mom to pick you up.” “I didn’t say
anything?” Camila asked her. “No,” Lauren confirmed. “You just
kind of spaced out. I was really worried about you actually…” “You
 were?” Camila asked, pushing herself up to sit next to Lauren
against the head of the bed. “Yeah,” Lauren told her. “I thought
you might be about to have another seizure or something. You
were so vacant.” Camila looked thoughtful for a moment and
made a mental note to talk to her neurologist regarding what had
happened the next time she saw him. “Do you think you did?”
Lauren asked reading Camila’s thoughts. “I don’t know,” Camila
answered truthfully. “I just…it’s weird that I can’t remember it
isn’t it?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 2/10 “A little,” Lauren agreed. “Miss Lovato
was really worried about you.” Lauren continued. “Ithink she felt
bad that you’d hurt your hand.” “What?” Camila almost laughed.
“She was worried about me after I’d hit her in the face?”
“Accidentally,” Lauren protested. “It isn’t like you did it on
purpose Camz.” “I know but still,” Camila said wretchedly. “She
shouldn’t have been worried about me. She probably hates me
now.” “She doesn’t hate you,” Lauren scoffed. “I think you’re
actually her favourite student. She was really worried that
Principal Michaels was going to punish you for a hitting a teacher.
It’s the main reason that she came to his office with us.” “I should
do something to apologise,” Camila said thinking. “Maybe get her
a card or something?” Camila suggested. “We could make her
one?” Lauren offered. “I’m sure she’d like that. She’s always
encouraging you to practice your writing.” “Ok,” Camila agreed. “I
 will.” Camila paused for a moment, still thoughtful. She turned
her body slightly so that her left shoulder was resting against the
head of the bed and she was facing Lauren. “What did she tell my
mom when she arrived?” Camila asked nervously. “The truth,”
Lauren answered honestly. Camila bit her bottom lip and Lauren
leant forward to kiss her softly on the forehead in an attempt to
ease her fear. “Don’t worry,” Lauren told her seriously, brushing
at the creases on Camila’s forehead with the pad of her thumb.
“No one blames you for anything that happened Camz. It was
David that started it. Miss Lovato has already spoken to Dinah and
everyone. She’s going to deal with him.” “That’s just what I need,”
Camila said unhappily. “He’ll probably make my life a living hell
after this.” “He can try,” Lauren said defensively. “If he does do
anything you can bet that Dinah will kick his ass and I wouldn’t
want to mess with her. She’d could beat the crap out of someone
twice her size. At least, that’s my theory anyway.” “Yeah well
she’s Polynesian and grew up in a big family,” Camila laughed at
Lauren’s words. “She knows how to look out for herself, plus…”
Camila said, pausing momentarily, “she thinks she’s The Rock
so…there’s that as well.” “You weren’t pissed at me for not kicking
his ass or anything?” Lauren asked doubtfully, dropping her gaze
to the bed. “What?” Camila asked her surprised. “No,” she
answered simply. “What good would that have done? You would
have just ended up in detention or worse, suspended. He’s not
worth it. You were right. I should have just ignored him.” “Kind of
 hard to do that when he’s being such a douchebag though,”
Lauren commented. “I have to admit a small part of me was kind
of hoping that your fist would connect with his face.” “Well
maybe next time I could kick him in the balls…” Camila joked and
Lauren gave her a stern look in response. “I’ve always wanted to
do that do someone.” Lauren raised her eyebrow slightly amused,
a light chuckle escaping her lips. “I’m not going to actively
encourage this,” Lauren replied after a moment’s thought still
chuckling, “but I won’t stop you either…should the occasion arise
of course. Just, don’t go kicking him in the balls for no reason.”
Lauren thought for a moment then changed her mind. “Actually,
no just do it.” Lauren said decidedly. “He deserves it for what he
said to you.” Camila hit her playfully on the arm and Lauren
feigned injury, rubbing at her arm dramatically. “You wimp,”
Camila teased her. “There’s no way that hurt.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 3/10 “You’re surprisingly strong for
someone so petite,” Lauren laughed. “Aww…” Camila said. “How
can I make it better?” “Well,” Lauren said raising her eyebrow
suggestively and making a point of looking at Camila’s lips. “I’m
sure you can think of something.” Camila tilted her head, an
amused expression on her face. “I don’t know,” Camila played
along. “I mean, I have this problem where my brain doesn’t really
work properly…perhaps you could give me a suggestion?” “Ok,”
Lauren said leaning closer to Camila so that their faces were mere
 inches apart. “It involves using your lips.” “Hmm….” Camila
practically hummed, pretending to be deep in thought. “My lips?”
she asked. Her voice was quiet; her tone raspier than usual.
“That’s right,” Lauren said, leaning even closer to Camila. “Well,
can you give me any more hints?” Camila asked. She dropped her
eyes down to Lauren’s lips which were hovering so close to her
own she could feel the warmth of her breath as she exhaled. “Let
me think,” Lauren said, assuming a thoughtful expression on her
face. “You’ll have to move them…” “I will?” Camila asked
teasingly. “What about my tongue? Will I have to use that?” “It
wouldn’t hurt,” Lauren commented, swallowing hard. “Ok,”
Camila said moving her face even closer to Lauren. Lauren felt her
breath hitch in her throat and it was becoming more and more
difficult to abstain from kissing Camila when all she had to do was
literally lean forward a few centimetres and connect their lips.
“So, it’s something that involves my lips and my tongue…tricky…”
Camila noted. “Would my hands need to be involved?” She asked
enjoying making Lauren wait. “They might be,” Lauren
commented. “I’d settle for just your lips though.” Camila smiled
and made a move to lean forward, Lauren readying herself for the
contact she was sure would come. She heard Camila laugh lightly
as she moved her head to the side and leant past Lauren, over her
shoulder, reaching for something on the cabinet next to the bed.
Lauren groaned in response to the façade as Camila leant back
again. “When did you get so good at that?” Lauren asked
 disappointed. “You are such a tease sometimes.” Camila winked
at Lauren and lifted up her right hand to reveal what she’d been
reaching across her for. “Your guitar pick?” Lauren asked
confused. “I don’t think you understood the hints.” She laughed.
“I beg to differ,” Camila said, hopping off the bed animatedly and
going over to her guitar which was in the stand over by her desk.
“Wait…” Lauren started but Camila cut her off. “Something that
involves my lips and my tongue,” Camila said, picking up the
guitar and coming back over to the bed. “You’re going to sing?”
Lauren asked stunned. “Just in case you hadn’t quite caught up
yet,” Camila said sitting down crossed legged on the bed facing
Lauren. “This involves the use of my hands as well.” “You’re going
to play?” Lauren questioned astonished. “Ithought that’s what
you were trying to suggest,” Camila said playfully. “I had
something slightly different in mind if I’m honest,” Lauren told her
and Camila smiled, that huge, face eating grin that reached up
into her eyes and made them sparkle brightly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 4/10 “Oh,” Camila said beaming, “well, in
that case.” She leant forward and connected their lips instantly,
Lauren closing her eyes immediately as Camila’s soft flesh met her
own. Lauren felt Camila push up onto her knees and forward. She
released the guitar so that it lay on the bed to her side and placed
her now free hand behind Lauren’s neck, gripping onto the hair at
the base of her skull. Camila pushed herself in to Lauren’s body,
 forcing the other girl back on to the bed so that she was resting
on her elbows. Lauren reached her hands up and wrapped her
arms around Camila’s waist, pulling her even closer, as the smaller
girl sucked on Lauren’s bottom lip causing her to moan in
response. Camila took the opportunity to flick her tongue into
Lauren’s mouth as her other hand found its way under Lauren’s
top, to trace small patterns on her abdomen. Lauren pushed
herself up on to her elbows as Camila drew back slightly,
desperate to maintain contact with her girlfriend and she sat up,
her arms fixed firmly around Camila’s torso, keeping them
pressed together a silent refusal of their parting. Lauren felt
Camila smile against her lips as she moved her tongue to brush
against the roof of her mouth, her right hand was brushing softly
up the left side of Lauren’s rib cage eliciting a small shudder from
her. Lauren pulled back quickly in response, finally separating the
two of them. “Shit Camz,” Lauren said, her voice almost inaudible
amidst her gasps as she tried to catch her breath. She saw the
same adorable grin that Camila had worn earlier still plastered on
her face. “Was that more like what you had in mind?” Camila
asked innocently and Lauren had the sudden urge to push her
over and off the bed she looked so smug. “Not quite,” Lauren
laughed, still trying to steady her breathing. Camila sat back on
the bed, crossing her legs and picking up her guitar and pick again.
“So…” Camila asked, holding the guitar in her arms and wincing
slightly as she positioned her left hand around the neck. “Now can
I play you something?” “How do you go from that?” Lauren asked,
pointing between the two of them in disbelief. “To…well, that?”
She finished, pointing at the guitar. “I’m good at
compartmentalising,” Camila stated simply, a smirk on her lips.
“Geez,” Lauren said, sitting up and crossing her legs in front of
Camila. “Who knew?” “Seriously though,” Camila said, putting the
guitar to one side for a moment and taking off the wrist splint on
her left arm. “Can I play you something?” “Of course,” Lauren
replied a small smile gracing her lips. “I’d love to hear you play
something.” “Try to play something,” Camila clarified, picking up
the guitar once more and testing the weight of it in her hands.
Lauren smiled in response. “I’d love to hear you try to play
something then.” She commented. “Ok,” Camila said, wincing
slightly as she moved the fingers of her left hand on the neck of
the guitar, her wrist still painful from earlier. She strummed a few
times as a warm up, averting her gaze from Lauren to focus on the
guitar in her hands. Lauren watched her closely, noting the way
her nose scrunched up with concentration. Lauren felt herself grin
when she heard Camila start to play the tune, her hand moving
slowly but deliberately to form the chords, her face showing signs
of the discomfort she felt in her left hand but persevering none
the less. “Skies are crying, I am watching, catching teardrops in my
hands. Only silence, as it’s ending, like we never had a chance. Do
you have to make me feel like, there’s nothing left of me? You can
take everything I have; you can break everything I am, like I’m
 made of glass, like I’m made of paper. Go on and try to tear me
down, I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper, like a sky
scraper.” Camila’s tone was like nothing Lauren had ever heard
before, her voice raspy and unique. She felt herself get goose
bumps as she sat listening to her, the words more emotive
because of the way Camila sang them, because they meant
something profound to her. Camila didn’t look at Lauren once
throughout the performance, she was so
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 5/10 engrossed in what her hands were
doing, in pronouncing and vocalising the words properly that it
seemed as though she’d disappeared completely from the here
and now to escape somewhere else, somewhere completely
private and personal. Lauren almost felt like she was intruding by
just being present in the room. “You can take everything I have;
you can break everything I am, like I’m made of glass, like I’m
made of paper, oh oh. Go on and try to tear me down, I will be
rising from the ground, like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper.”
Finally, Camila raised her eyes to meet Lauren’s tear filled ones as
she finished, “Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper.” Camila put the
guitar to the side, flexing and extending the fingers of her left
hand in an attempt to wake them up slightly. “I didn’t know you
could play a whole song…” Lauren said quietly, her voice small
and full of emotion after hearing Camila’s performance. “That
was…wow, that was amazing Camz.” “Really?” Camila asked
doubtfully. “I know it was a little bit slower than normal but, I still
haven’t quite mastered using my left hand yet.” “No,” Lauren said
quickly. “It was perfect. Why didn’t you tell me you were doing so
much better?” “I wanted it to be a surprise,” Camila told her
honestly. “Well, it was definitely that.” Lauren told her truthfully.
“You must have been practicing…” “Every day,” Camila
interceded. “Just that one song though.” “Why did you choose
that one?” Lauren asked, flashing back to when Camila had asked
her the same question after she’d played ‘Everything Has
Changed’ for her. “For a few reasons,” Camila said reaching out
her right hand to reach for Lauren’s who sat crossed leg before
her. “Firstly, do you remember me telling you about the time I
first heard it after the accident?” “Yes,” Lauren replied. “You said
the lyrics took on a whole new meaning for you then.” “They did,”
Camila admitted. “It was like, the driver…they’d taken so much
from me and as low as I felt, as much as I sometimes wished that I
wasn’t here, that I’d died in the accident, I didn’t…I was…I was still
here and it made me want to carry on, to keep living.” Camila
paused for a moment, tears coming to her own eyes at the
memory. “It gave me courage and strength when I didn’t think I
had any,” Camila said honestly. “It saved my life.” Lauren
squeezed Camila’s hand as she continued to open up. “Then,”
Camila said, “a few weeks ago, I was sat in this very spot, looking
at my guitar and I remembered telling you about it…” Camila
shared, “and I realised that now it wasn’t just the song that gave
 me the strength and the belief to keep pushing through the bad
days.” Camila paused, smiling at Lauren as she reached for her
other hand with her left. Lauren took it willingly, rubbing gently
across the scar on Camila’s forearm with her thumb. “I realised
that it was you,” Camila told her. “You give me everything that the
song does and more.” “Camz,” Lauren said reaching her left hand
up to cup the side of Camila’s face. “No, please let me finish,”
Camila said and Lauren obeyed because she could see how much
it meant to her. “You have done so much for me Lauren and I
wanted to do something for you to show you how much I
appreciate it but, I couldn’t think of anything.” “You don’t have
to…” Lauren started but Camila interceded. “I do,” Camila said
resolutely. “I do have to because, like the song Lauren, you saved
my life. You didn’t even know me…but…you wanted to…and…you
made the effort to…you… don’t even realise how important you
are to me.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 6/10 Camila took a moment to inhale, her
words getting stuck in her throat, her thoughts jumbled, as she
tried to make her point. “It was because of you that I had the
confidence to play that song,” Camila managed. “That I was
inspired to learn it, to practice it again.” Lauren wiped at Camila’s
cheek with her thumb to rid the tear that was slowly making its
way across her soft flesh. “It was you that made me pick up my
guitar for the first time after the accident,” Camila told her.
 “Ijust…I’m rambling…” “It’s cute,” Lauren told her smiling and
Camila reciprocated that. “I was going to play it for you after our
next date,” Camila told her. “I’d planned to show you how much
I’ve come on…because of you…then…you know, ask you to be my
girlfriend.” “You already asked me earlier,” Lauren noted. “I
know,” Camila said. “It just kind of happened but, I still wanted
you to hear it. You’ve been so supportive. Especially today…what
with the police and everything…” Camila paused momentarily. “I
guess, what I’m trying to say,” Camila told her seriously, “is, thank
you. I would never have been able to do that if it wasn’t for you.
There are a lot of things that I wouldn’t be able to do if it wasn’t
for you.” Lauren leant forward and gave Camila a chaste kiss
before moving up to her nose and then hovering her lips over the
scar on the left side of her forehead. “You would be able to”
Lauren said. “You can do anything you set your mind to Camz.
Perhaps I encourage you but, you do it. Not me.” “I just…I feel like
I owe you so much.” Camila admitted. “That I’m going to be
forever indebted to you. I was hoping that singing for you would
help to, I don’t know, level the playing field a little bit.” “Camila,
you don’t owe me anything,” Lauren responded resolutely. “You
would do the same for me if it came to it. I do it because I care
about you.” “I know, Ijust…can I do something else for you?”
Camila asked her. “Like what?” Lauren asked curious. “I spoke to
Ally and Normani,” Camila informed her. “When I’d planned
everything out, I wanted to take you to do all the things that you
 enjoy…like, I had a whole evening planned. Can we do that?” “It
depends?” Lauren said smiling and raising her eyebrow. “On
what?” Camila questioned. “On whether you’re asking me out?”
Lauren replied. Camila smiled and dropped her gaze to her hand
which Lauren was still caressing soothingly in her own. “Lauren,
would you please let me take you out?” Camila asked her. “On
one condition,” Lauren stated. “Name it,” Camila said. “You play
the guitar for me again when it’s finished.” Lauren requested.
“You’d want to hear me play again?” Camila asked. “I would,”
Lauren confirmed. “Dinah wasn’t lying when she said you were
really good.” Camila’s face broke out into a huge grin at the
compliment. “Ok,” she agreed. “I will…perhaps I’ll learn a new
song.” “You can,” Lauren encouraged, “but, play me that one.”
“Why that one?” Camila asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 7/10 “Because,” Lauren said rather shyly.
“Ilike the way it sounds when it’s coming from you. It means
something different to me now.” “I’m really glad that you’re my
girlfriend,” Camila told her sincerely, smiling brightly. “Me too,”
Lauren told her. “I can’t imagine ever wanting to be with anyone
else.” “I’m going to kiss you now,” Camila warned her. “I’ll allow
it,” Lauren said playfully a broad grin on her face as Camila closed
the distance between them and kissed her, gently at first, but
soon, deeply, their mouths moving in sync with one another,
finding a rhythm as though they were supposed to be together,
 working in perfect unison. “You know,” they heard from the
direction of the door. “If you guys are hungry, I’ve actually bought
food. No need to eat each other.” Camila and Lauren separated to
find Dinah in the doorway, flanked closely by Ally and Normani.
“Don’t you knock?” Camila asked her friend as she stepped into
the room and made herself comfortable on the edge of the bed.
“It’s like you think I don’t live here or something,” Dinah said
opening the top of one of the pizza boxes and pulling out a slice to
eat. “You don’t live here,” Camila replied laughing lightly. “Maybe
not officially,” Dinah said, taking another bite of her pizza as
Normani and Ally clambered on to the bed with the others and
helped themselves to a slice. “However, I do have a key which
equates to the same thing.” Camila rolled her eyes. “That’s
supposed to be for emergencies.” Camila told her. “This was an
emergency.” Dinah told her pointedly gesturing towards the food
on the bed. “The pizza was getting cold… Besides, your mom let
me in so I didn’t really break any laws or anything.” Lauren
shrugged at Camila’s incredulous look and reached over to take a
slice of pizza from the box, herself feeling hungry. “Lauren,”
Camila protested. “What?” She asked, swallowing a mouthful.
“I’m actually quite hungry. I didn’t get any lunch.” “Oh,” Normani
said, “speaking of lunch. I saw David Johnson after he’d spoken to
Miss Lovato. He was not happy.” “Serves him right,” Ally
commented opening the bottle of soda that they’d bought with
them and pouring it into some glasses. “I’m confused,” Camila
said watching the group of people all happily settled down on her
bed. “What are you all doing here? It’s not Wednesday.”
“Correct,” Dinah agreed sarcastically. “So then…what are you
doing here?” Camila asked. “I’m sorry” Dinah said laughing and
raising her eyebrow mischievously, “were we interrupting
something?” “No” Lauren said quickly as Camila replied, “Kind of.”
“Oh,” Dinah replied glancing between Normani and Ally. “That’s
interesting.” “So we were?” Normani asked suggestively. “No,”
Lauren said again. “Well, kind of,” Camila repeated. Dinah turned
to look at Camila. “What exactly was it we were interrupting?”
She asked cheekily. Camila looked at Lauren who just stared at
her expectantly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61336130630/trialsand-
tribulationschapter18 8/10 “Nothing like that,” she finally said.
“Just…well…” “Aww…” Ally said noting Camila’s blush. “Were you
two having a heart to heart?” “That’s so cute,” Normani
commented reaching for another slice of pizza. “It’s not cute,”
Camila said slightly irritated, causing Lauren to laugh. “Why are
you laughing?” Camila asked her chuckling despite herself. “It’s
actually quite fun to watch when it’s not happening to me.”
Lauren said simply, taking another bite of her pizza. Camila
pouted. “I hate you guys,” Camila said, finally realising she was
being mocked. “No you don’t,” Dinah said taking a slice of pizza
out of the box and handing it to Camila. “I bought you pizza, so,
that means you actually really like me.” Camila crossed her arms
 defiantly over her chest whilst Dinah held the pizza slice in front
of her. “Alright then,” Dinah said, making a move to take a bite
out of it. “Be like that, but, don’t blame me when you starve to
death.” “No ok wait,” Camila said placing a hand on Dinah’s to
stop it from moving any closer to her mouth. “Let’s not do
anything we might regret tomorrow.” “I knew you’d see sense,”
Dinah laughed handing Camila the pizza. She took a bite greedily,
not having realised how hungry she was and Dinah smiled at her
appetite. “How come someone so small each so much?” Dinah
asked as Camila took another slice of pizza and began eating it.
“It’s from all the flailing she does when she’s trying to dance,”
Normani commented playfully. “It burns off all those extra
calories.” “Oh god,” Dinah said, “yes, the flailing.” “I kind of want
to see you dancing Camila,” Ally mused. “Me too,” Lauren agreed.
“Well, luckily for me, you won’t.” Camila told them emphatically.
“Umm…” Normani said pulling her phone out of her pocket. “I
don’t know about that.” “Don’t you dare Normani,” Camila said as
Normani pressed play to show Lauren and Ally some footage of
Camila dancing at the Beyoncé concert that they went to at the
weekend. Camila climbed up off the bed to try and get to it but it
was too late. “Normani,” Camila protested indignantly as Ally and
Lauren laughed. “You don’t care,” Normani replied as Lauren got
off the bed and walked round to where Camila was standing. “You
really can’t dance,” Lauren said wrapping her arms around
Camila’s body and pulling her into a big hug, “but that’s ok. I’ll still
 go out with you anyway.” “Yeah and you suck,” Camila noted
drily, not really meaning a word she said, “But it’s alright, I’ll still
let you.” Lauren kissed Camila quickly on the forehead before
clambering back onto the bed and diving in for another slice of
pizza. The girls quickly began talking animatedly about the newest
episode of Pretty Little Liars which would be on TV tomorrow and
Camila shook her head happily, grateful for the four girls in front
of her. She snatched up another slice of pizza and the bag of chips
that Lauren had bought up from the kitchen earlier before
climbing onto the bed and joining in with the conversation
contentedly.
Chapter 19
“Camz,” Lauren groaned in exasperation, nudging Camila slightly
as she sat beside her the following day during homeroom. “Would
you please just…go up and talk to her already.” Camila shook her
head in response, her eyes fixed pointedly on the desk in front of
her in order to avoid Miss Lovato’s frequent glances in her
direction. She had her notebook open and was making a good
show of pretending to practice her handwriting in it, which Lauren
observed, was barely legible because of the constant nervous
shaking of Camila’s hand. “Mila stop being ridiculous,” Dinah said
leaning over the back of her chair to face her best friend. “It’s not
that bad.” She tried to reassure the smaller girl. Camila lifted her
gaze slightly at Dinah’s words and gave her a disbelieving look
which told her that she wholeheartedly disagreed. Dinah turned
 to look back at Miss Lovato who had looked up from what she’d
been doing and was now watching their group with interest from
behind her desk again. The dark purple bruising around her right
eye from where she’d been struck in the face accidently yesterday
was evident even from the back of the class and Dinah made a
face before turning back around to address Camila. “I mean, ok…”
Dinah started, pausing momentarily to take the pen out of
Camila’s hand as she continued to try and distract herself with her
notebook. Camila looked up in frustration to meet Dinah’s gaze.
“It is pretty bad but…” “Dinah,” Ally scolded twisting in her seat
slightly. “It’s really not that bad Camila.” “Mila’s not an idiot Ally,”
Dinah protested. “That is one nasty looking bruise Miss Lovato is
sporting thanks to her…” “It was an accident,” Ally interceded.
“It’s not like she did it on purpose.” “I’m not saying she did,”
Dinah replied defensively. “I’m just saying…” “Umm….guys,”
Lauren interrupted, causing both Dinah and Ally to look in her
direction. She pointed towards the front of the class where Camila
was now approaching Miss Lovato’s desk tentatively, the note
that she’d written last night clutched in her right hand. “Good
job,” Lauren told them smirking slightly. “Huh,” Dinah said,
watching Camila with an expression of awe on her face. “That was
really stealthy…how the hell did she do that?” “I think…” Ally said
laughing. “That it has more to do with you being really loud rather
than Camila being really quiet Dinah,” she joked. “Whatever,”
Dinah said, waving her hand dismissively. “At least she’s finally
 going to talk to her. I’ve been on edge the whole period just
watching her sitting there and…I don’t know…” “Fretting?” Lauren
offered. “Fretting?” Dinah asked, making a face. “Stewing?” Ally
suggested laughing at Dinah’s disapproval of the previously
submitted word.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 2/11 “Fussing,” Dinah finally said, turning to
look back at Camila who was now stood in front of Miss Lovato’s
desk. Camila looked timid; her hands crossed behind her back, the
letter firmly in her grip, her head bowed as she shifted
uncomfortably on her feet. Miss Lovato was watching her with
interest, waiting for Camila to speak but she didn’t, so Miss Lovato
waited patiently. “Oh God,” Dinah said, grimacing slightly. “Is she
mute? Why isn’t she saying anything?” “Give her a minute,”
Lauren told her slightly amused at Dinah’s commentary. “She’ll be
fine.” “I kind of have the sudden urge to go up and give her a
hug,” Ally mused. “She looks so small and frightened. Is she really
that worried about what Miss Lovato will say?” Ally asked, turning
to look at Lauren who was studying Camila from where she sat.
“No,” Lauren noted. “She just feels really bad about what
happened. She hates it when she loses control of herself like
that.” Dinah nodded in agreement with Lauren’s words. “She lost
her temper and hit her sister once,” Dinah told them. “Sofi?” Ally
asked surprised, “but, she adores her.” “I know,” Dinah returned.
“She didn’t mean to do it, but, Sofi was just getting under her feet
 and her speech was still pretty bad back then so, she got
frustrated and well, she hit her.” “Was Sofi alright?” Ally asked
concerned. “Yeah she was fine,” Dinah reassured her. “Just a
couple of bruises…she bounces right back. Once she ran into the
glass sliding door at the back of Camila’s house and I swear, I’ve
never seen a child rebound so much in my entire life. She ended
up half way back across the room.” she finished. “Come on Camz,”
Lauren muttered under her breath, willing Camila to speak as she
continued to watch her anxiously. Lauren groaned internally as
Camila silently placed the letter she’d written on the desk in front
of Miss Lovato and turned around to make her way back to the
seat she’d previously been occupying. Camila lowered herself into
the chair quickly when she reached Lauren and the others,
throwing both her arms onto the desk in front of her and lowering
her forehead to rest on top of them miserably. “Shit,” she cursed
under her breath, the word muffled as she spoke into the sleeves
of her jumper. “Babe,” Lauren said, placing a hand on the back of
her shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly. “What are you doing?
Talk to her.” Camila turned her head slightly to the side to look at
Lauren, her distress evident on her features. She sighed
overdramatically before groaning and turning her head once
more, banging it repetitively against the padding of her forearms.
“I have to say Mila…I always find it interesting that you do that,”
Dinah commented as she watched the smaller girl. “I mean, like,
I’d have thought that you would have tried to avoid banging your
 head against things, you know, seeing as you’re still recovering
from a head injury…” Camila lifted her head almost instantly to
glare at Dinah and the other girl stopped for a brief moment.
“What?” Dinah went on to ask, surprised at Camila’s response.
She turned to the others, her arms opened up in front of her in a
questioning gesture. “Am I wrong?” She inquired. “As much as I
hate to agree with Dinah,” Lauren said, turning to Camila who was
watching her as she spoke. “I’d really rather that you didn’t try to
give yourself concussion.” Camila lifted a hand to her head and
rubbed at her temple soothingly. Lauren frowned slightly in
concern at seeing this and raised her own hand to cup the side of
Camila’s
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 3/11 cheek, brushing it lightly with her
thumb. “Headache?” she asked worriedly, moving her hand a little
to brush at Camila’s brow, hovering for a moment over the now
familiar scar on Camila’s forehead. Camila didn’t say anything in
response to Lauren’s words, instead she just sighed, reaching
forward across the desk and taking Lauren’s free hand in her own.
She squeezed it reassuringly as she shook her head, no. “Babe,
just talk to her,” Lauren said encouragingly, moving a stray lock of
dark hair out of Camila’s eyes and tucking it behind her ear. “I
know you feel bad about what happened but it’ll be fine, you’ll
see. Miss Lovato knows it was an accident. You’ll feel better about
things afterwards. I promise.” Lauren moved her fingertips round
 to play with the short strands of hair on the left side of Camila’s
head which had now grown so long that the scar beneath them
was now virtually invisible to the casual observer unless you knew
it was there. Lauren could feel the thick sinewy mark beneath her
fingers and Camila reached up her free hand to grab hold of
Lauren’s wrist as she lightly traced it. “I’m sorry,” Lauren
apologised and Camila squeezed her hand once more, a silent sign
of acceptance. “Camila,” Miss Lovato said from behind her and
Camila turned around to face the teacher, her eyes only meeting
hers briefly before fixing themselves on a spot on the desk. Miss
Lovato had approached the group of girls, sat at the back of the
class almost as undetected as Camila had left them only a few
minutes earlier. “Ithink that we should talk about this,” Miss
Lovato continued, holding up the letter which Camila had given
her in her hand. She turned for a moment to grab the chair
behind her and pulled it over beside Camila’s desk, sitting herself
down and placing the letter in front of the youngster. “I’m going
to need you to look at me,” Miss Lovato told her kindly. “Camz,”
Lauren prompted when Camila made no move to lift her gaze.
Miss Lovato sighed, casting quick glances to the three girls sat
around her before turning her attention back to Camila. “You
know,” Miss Lovato started thoughtfully when Camila still didn’t
look up. “I remember the first day of school we sat here in almost
exactly the same spot,” Miss Lovato recalled. “You told me you
were sorry, do you remember that?” she asked. Lauren moved
 the hand that Camila had in her grasp and placed it on her
shoulder. “Camila?” she said, her voice more stern than before, a
demanding edge to its tone. Camila nodded her head, a small,
almost imperceptible nod, but, a nod nonetheless. “I was so
confused then because I didn’t know what you had to apologise
for?” Miss Lovato told her honestly. “You went on to say that you
didn’t want me to hate you.” “I…I…r…re…remember,” Camila said,
lifting her gaze to finally meet Miss Lovato’s. The teacher smiled
at the sound of Camila’s voice. “Ok,” Miss Lovato replied. “What
did Itell you? Can you remember that?” Camila nodded her head
in response but didn’t speak and Miss Lovato continued. “I told
you,” Miss Lovato said earnestly. “That we would try and prevent
any problems or situations where you might lash out as much as
possible, but, if we couldn’t, I said we’d deal with them…”
“Together,” Camila interrupted quietly. “Right,” Miss Lovato
agreed. “So,” She went on. “As much as I really appreciate your
written apology Camila, because, honestly, I know how difficult
and time consuming it is for you to have done something like this,
I would prefer that you talk to me. That was part of our deal as
well, remember?” “Sss…ssorry,” Camila stuttered. “Don’t be
sorry,” Miss Lovato told her seriously. “You don’t have to
apologise to me. It was an accident. I don’t hate you Camila;I
don’t even blame you…” “But,” Camila tried to intercede.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 4/11 “No, nothing,” Miss Lovato cut her off.
 “You were angry and frustrated because someone was teasing
and bullying you. Anyone else in your shoes would have felt
exactly the same.” “I did and it wasn’t even aimed at me,” Dinah
commented and Miss Lovato gave her a meaningful look. “Your
tolerance isn’t as high as other people’s because of your head
injury,” Miss Lovato pressed on. “I know that you tried to ignore
it, but, David wouldn’t let it go, he was playing with fire and he
knew it.” “It’s…not an…excuse…though…” Camila said and Miss
Lovato placed a hand on her shoulder. “No it’s not,” she granted,
“but, the thing about you Camila is that you know that and you
take responsibility for your mistakes.” She paused for a moment
to look at the assembled group. “I spoke with everyone that was
there,” she informed Camila. “They told me that it was the first
time it happened so it would have been difficult for you to talk to
me about it.” Miss Lovato said kindly. “In future though, if
someone is bullying you, especially David Johnson, then I want
you to tell me about it ok?” Miss Lovato turned to the rest of the
girls. “Any of you, alright? I will not tolerate bullying in this school.
“Ok,” Camila replied nodding her head and Ally, Dinah and Lauren
all mirrored her response. “Ok,” Miss Lovato reciprocated smiling.
“Well then, we’re to say no more about it, alright?” She laughed
to herself a little before adding, “Except, one thing…” “What?”
Camila asked her nervously. “You have a particularly good left
hook,” Miss Lovato noted. “Considering that is supposed to be
your weaker arm.” She laughed warmly again. “I’d prefer that you
 use your hands to write, like we discussed yesterday, but, if that
doesn’t pan out, perhaps you should consider a career as a
boxer.” Camila smiled brightly at Miss Lovato’s words, glad that
she really seemed to be ok with everything that happened
yesterday. In front of her, Dinah burst out into a fit of laughter. “A
boxer?” Dinah asked, chuckling loudly. “Mila?” “What’s so funny
about that?” Camila asked feigning being indignant. “You’d trip
over your own feet and knock yourself out,” Dinah told her still
laughing and Camila raised her eyebrow, sticking out her tongue
slightly in agreement with her friends words. “Well,” Miss Lovato
said, standing from her chair. “I still think that writing is the better
option.” She said winking. “Miss Lovato,” Camila said as her
teacher turned to make her way back down towards her desk.
“Yes?” she said, spinning back around on her heels to face Camila.
“Thank…you…” Camila said drawing her words out. “Once again,”
Miss Lovato replied, “You don’t need to thank me, but, you’re
welcome all the same.” “I…” Camila started and Miss Lovato
perched herself back in the chair beside her desk once again.
“I…won’t be…here…after school.” Camila managed to share with
her teacher. “I know,” Miss Lovato told her, placing a reassuring
hand on her arm. “Your mom called. She said that you’re going to
go back down to the police station after school.” Camila nodded
her head in response. “Ok,” Miss Lovato acknowledged. “We’ll
catch up tomorrow instead.” She finished. “Alright,” Camila
agreed as Miss Lovato stood up again.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 5/11 “I hope everything works out with the
driver,” Miss Lovato told her genuinely. “I know it must be difficult
to have to go through it all again.” Camila nodded, dropping her
gaze to the floor. “Hopefully you’ll be able to put all this behind
you very shortly,” Miss Lovato said positively. “Maybe you will
finally be able to get some sort of closure.” Camila nodded her
head again, this time lifting her gaze to meet Miss Lovato’s. She
felt Lauren squeeze her shoulder reassuringly at the same time as
Dinah rubbed her arm on the desk. “I…hope so.” Camila replied
and Miss Lovato smiled and nodded her head before turning
around and making her way back to the front of class. Once she’d
taken her seat behind the desk once again, Lauren turned to
Camila who had visibly relaxed since her conversation with the
teacher, a smile now obvious on her features, her brow no longer
creased. “See I told you it would be fine,” Lauren told her,
stroking a lock of hair out of Camila’s eyes where it had fallen
again. “Do you feel better?” Camila smiled at Lauren, reaching up
her free hand and placing it on the side of her girlfriends face. This
time it was Camila’s turn to stroke Lauren’s cheek with the pad of
her thumb and Lauren laughed at the gesture. “Is that a yes?” she
asked reaching up and taking Camila’s hand in her own. She
brought it to her lips, kissing the back of her hand softly. “Yes,”
Camila acknowledged. “You…were…right.” “Was that so hard for
you to admit?” Lauren asked playfully as she mindlessly fiddled
 with the fingers of Camila’s hands. “No…not…to admit.” Camila
managed to express. “Just to say,” Lauren noted and Camila
nodded. “I knew I should have made you take something to help
you sleep last night,” Lauren commented, mentally reprimanding
herself for not having done so at the time. “What did you get in
the end?” Lauren asked her knowingly. “A few hours?” “Two,”
Camila said, holding up two fingers to emphasize the point. “I
was….thinking.” “Dangerous,” Dinah said laughing. “Should we be
worried?” Camila shook her head in response, laughing at Dinah’s
words. “About the driver?” Ally asked Camila. “Part..ly.” Camila
answered truthfully. “David?” Lauren questioned. Camila nodded
and pointed at the front of the class to where Miss Lovato was
sitting. “Miss Lovato as well,” Ally said sympathetically. “No
wonder you didn’t get any sleep.” Camila shared a meaningful
look with Lauren. She hadn’t told the rest of the girls yet but,
she’d spent a lot of last night awake, covered in sweat, the
flashbacks from the accident creeping into her subconscious every
time that she closed her eyes and waking her up in a blind panic,
completely disorientated, her chest constricted tightly as she
fought for breath. She’d shared the news with Lauren this
morning, who had told her that she should speak to her therapist
about the flashbacks. Camila had agreed, but, on one condition;
that Lauren went with her. Lauren of course, had immediately
agreed to the terms of Camila’s request and so the pair of them
now had a date on Thursday evening with, what Lauren assumed
 from the movies, a couch and a lot of ink blots. The bell rang
signalling the end of home room and Lauren stood up, collecting
both her bag from the floor and Camila’s. Camila took her bag
gratefully and stuffed her notebook inside, struggling with the zip
for a moment before finally managing to close it. She stood up
from her chair and took Lauren’s hand which was held out
expectantly. “Walk you to French?” Lauren asked and Camila
nodded her appreciation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 6/11 “We’ve got to run,” Dinah said
gesturing between herself and Ally. “See you both at lunch?” she
asked. “Sure,” Lauren said as Dinah and Ally made a beeline for
the door and out in to the bustling hallway beyond. They waved
as they left and both Lauren and Camila raised their free hand to
return the gesture. “So,” Lauren said as they made their way
down the corridor together. “Are you sure that your mom is
alright with me giving you a lift down to the police station after
school?” “Yes,” Camila nodded. “She’ll…meet us…there…with
my…dad.” “They’re really alright with me coming?” Lauren asked
as they turned a corner together. Camila nodded. “I…want…you
there.” She said a small smile gracing her lips. “If…that’s alright?”
“Of course it is,” Lauren told her as they came to a stop just
before the door to Camila’s French class. “I’m really glad that you
asked me.” Camila pushed up onto her toes and kissed Lauren on
the lips, closing her eyes and lingering there for a moment,
enjoying the contact. She sighed, opening her eyes as she lowered
herself back down onto the flat of her feet and Lauren smiled
brightly, squeezing her hand. “I take it that means you’re glad I’m
coming too,” Lauren responded, rocking their hands slightly by
their side. Camila winked at Lauren, releasing her hand and
making a move to step past her to enter the classroom. Lauren
placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to turn around and
quickly planted a kiss of her own on Camila’s lips. “I’ll see you at
lunch,” Lauren told her. “Try to get your voice back by then,
alright? I miss it.” Camila nodded, grinning brightly. “O…k…” she
said purposefully dragging the word out and Lauren rolled her
eyes in amusement before turning on her heel and heading
towards her next class. Camila watched her go for a moment
before stepping into her French class and taking her normal seat
towards the back. She placed her bag on the desk in front of her,
pulling out her French textbook, a notebook and a pen before
sliding it onto the floor at her feet. When she sat back up, Camila
noticed someone watching her to her right and turned to face
them. “Bonjour,” the girl said smiling in amusement, “Je
m’appelle Rachel.” Camila lifted her hand hesitantly in greeting,
recognising the girl from somewhere but unable to place her face.
“You’re Camila right?” Rachel asked her, scooting her desk closer
so that she could lower her voice slightly. “Yeah,” Camila replied
uncertainly. “Look,” Rachel said seriously. “I’m really sorry about
David yesterday,” she continued. “He was being a complete
 douchebag. He shouldn’t have said the things that he did.”
“You…were…there?” Camila asked, vaguely recollecting seeing the
blonde haired girl standing in the background with another girl
dressed in her cheerleading uniform. “Yes,” Rachel admitted
shamefully. “I’m sorry, I should have stopped him…or said
something. He can be a real ass sometimes.” “He’s…a…friend?”
Camila asked. “Not exactly,” Rachel said, “He’s dating a friend of
mine. I like to think of him as more of…an acquaintance.” “Oh,”
Camila said, memories of yesterday lunch time finally coming back
to her. “You… laughed.” “I know,” Rachel admitted guiltily. “I
shouldn’t have, I was just trying to let him save face. I wouldn’t be
surprised if you actually do have a better GPA than him. He’s
barely staying eligible for the basketball team this year.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 7/11 Camila raised an eyebrow and turned
her attention to the teacher who had entered the room and was
standing at the front of the class addressing everyone. Today,
they would be practicing their speech and had to discuss with a
partner what they did over the weekend. To Camila’s surprise,
Rachel instantly requested to be partnered with her. Camila was
so used to being the last person in the class to be chosen that she
had to admit that it felt nice to be asked for once. “Why…are
you…being so…nice?” Camila asked when the rest of the room
had paired off and were loudly conversing in fractured French.
“Repentance,” Rachel said seriously. “I’m trying to make up for
 yesterday. I’m hoping that maybe you’ll forgive me.” “You
don’t…don’t…normally sit…there,” Camila stuttered, cursing her
speech and her lack of sleep. “Well, no one normally sits here,”
Rachel replied and then felt bad for the insinuation. “I mean, I’m
sorry…” “It’s…ok,” Camila said, waving her hand dismissively
because it was true. Normally no one sat beside her in French or
any of her other classes for that matter. No one that is, except
Ally, Dinah and Lauren in the assorted classes which they shared.
“So…you’re dating Lauren?” Rachel asked probingly, having
noticed the two of them together as she entered class earlier.
Camila turned her head to look up from her textbook which she’d
been glancing at to answer. “Yeah,” Camila replied a smile
spreading across her features at the thought of her girlfriend. “I
used to be friends with her you know,” Rachel said matter of
factly. “We used to be quite close actually.” “Oh,” Camila said, not
having known that. “What…happened?” “We just grew apart,”
Rachel lied, neglecting to admit to Camila that they’d once dated,
albeit somewhat secret, herself having only just come out
officially. “I’m surprised,” she went on. “I didn’t realise you
were…well, a lesbian.” “Me…neither,” Camila said, still unsure
whether she actually preferred all girls to boys or whether it was
just something about Lauren. “It’s a shame really,” Rachel noted,
meeting Camila’s eyes steadily and holding her gaze making the
smaller girl feel slightly uncomfortable. “Why?” Camila asked a
little worried. “Well,” Rachel said leaning across the small gap in
 the desks, “because you’re actually really cute.” Camila felt
herself blush at Rachel’s forthright compliment and broke their
eye contact to look down at her hands awkwardly. “Uh…no…”
Camila said flicking her notebook open as a distraction. “Yes,”
Rachel said, leaning back in her chair. “Lauren’s a lucky girl.”
Camila turned her attention back to Rachel who was studying her
closely. “You…you’re…” Camila started but her tongue got stuck in
her throat and she couldn’t vocalise the rest of her sentence.
“Gay?” Rachel asked and Camila nodded. “Yes,” she told her
laughing slightly. Camila didn’t know what to say in response so
she settled for picking up her pen and trying to write. Rachel
watched her for a moment, noting Camila’s shaky script before
she decided to reach over and place her left hand around the
smaller girls. Camila felt herself tense up at the unfamiliar touch
and she tried to pull her hand back but Rachel held it firm. “No
wait,” Rachel said seriously, “here, like this.” She guided Camila’s
hand, which felt uncomfortable beneath the relative strangers, to
write, je t’aime on the page with a girly cursive slant. Camila
moved her hand back to her lap as soon as Rachel had released it
and the other girl smiled in amusement.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 8/11 “You’re not used to other girls liking
you?” Rachel asked her.
“You…yyyou…d..d…don’t…even…kn…know…me,” Camila
managed to express. “Yeah,” Rachel said suggestively, raising her
 eyebrow, “but that’s an easy problem to fix.” “I’m…with Lauren.”
Camila said. “I know,” Rachel told her, “but we can be friends
can’t we?” “I…” Camila started. “I…” “You’re adorable when
you’re all flustered.” Rachel said frankly. “I can see why Lauren
likes you.” “Nnn…no…” Camila responded. “It’s…” she swallowed
hard, taking a moment to compose herself to try and speak
properly. “You…” “Filles,” Mrs Edwards, the French teacher
interrupted. “En français s’il vous plaît.” “Oui, bien sûr,” Rachel
responded cockily. “Uh…” Camila said watching Rachel cautiously
and feeling more and more uncomfortable with every passing
second. “Si.” “En français” Mrs Edwards repeated at Camila’s slip
into Spanish before turning back and heading towards the head of
the class. “See…” Rachel commented. “That’s cute.” Camila
turned to glance at the clock, silently calculating how much longer
she had left until this period was over. When the bell eventually
rang, Camila packed her things away and made a quick escape,
waving goodbye to Rachel hastily as she left, the other girl calling
out, “I’ll be seeing you around Camila,” an amused expression on
her face. Camila didn’t know why but she felt completely
uncomfortable throughout the whole of the following period and
could barely concentrate on the Chemistry task at hand, her mind
thinking back on the scenario which had played out during French.
She’d never been treated like that before and she didn’t know
how to read Rachel’s intentions. For the remainder of French,
Camila had tried to steer the conversation back to the subject at
 hand, only for Rachel to say something in French which Camila
didn’t understand and then translate it for her, noting it down on
the notebook on her desk for Camila to see. Camila had blushed
on numerous occasions, not because she was flattered but
because she felt flustered, not knowing how to react to her
blatant advances. After Chemistry, Camila made her way to the
lunch room and sat down quickly beside Lauren who was already
seated with the rest of the group and Troy, Ally’s boyfriend.
“Hey,” Lauren greeted her, planting a kiss on Camila’s lips. “How
was the rest of your morning?” she asked. “Weird,” Camila
admitted, pulling a sandwich and drink from her bag. “Why?”
Lauren asked concerned. “What happened?” “Don’t…get…mad,”
Camila said glancing at the faces of the others around the table
who were watching their interaction with interest. “O…k,” Lauren
said. “What’s going on Camz?” “I…some…girl…” Camila started.
“Some girl what Camila?” Lauren asked a hint of worry in her
voice. “She…said that she…likes me…” Camila told her. “That
it…it…was a shame…I was dating…you.” “When?” Lauren asked a
hint of anger in her voice towards this unknown person. “French,”
Camila said simply. “She…kept…touching my…hand,” Camila
continued. “I tried…to…ss…stop…” “Who?” Lauren interrupted,
her mind already formulating a theory, her tone irate. “I…” Camila
started trying to think how best to explain. “Rachel.” She finally
said. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trials-
andtribulationschapter19 9/11 “Murphy?” Lauren asked her
placing a reassuring hand on Camila’s shoulder in a silent attempt
to tell her she wasn’t upset with her. Normani almost choked on
her drink at the mention of Lauren’s exgirlfriend.
“I…don’t…kn…know,” Camila told her shrugging.
“She…said…th…that…she knew you.” Lauren glanced around the
lunch room and sure enough, she soon found Rachel across the
space, sat with David and his cheerleader girlfriend Samantha,
watching her intently. She smiled mischievously, offering Lauren a
small smirk in greeting. Camila turned to follow Lauren’s gaze and
Rachel noticed her looking, lifting her hand and offering a warm
wave in greeting, a kind smile on her face. Camila raised her hand
tentatively in response and Lauren caught it in her own before
turning back around to face the rest of the girls at the table. “That
was her?” Lauren asked lividly, Camila’s hand held firmly in her
own. Camila nodded her head, concerned by Lauren’s obvious
dislike of the girl. “She’s…not a friend?” Camila asked sensing
Lauren’s anger. “Not exactly,” Lauren said through gritted teeth as
she shared a meaningful look with Normani who then proceeded
to glare in Rachel’s direction from her position at the table. “She’s
my exgirlfriend.” Lauren told her. “Oh,” Camila said taken aback
slightly. “I…uh…didn’t…” Lauren looked at Camila sensing her
confusion and realising that she thought that she was mad at her.
She lifted her arm and placed it around Camila’s shoulder
reassuringly, picking up her other hand which was resting in her
lap. Lauren played with Camila’s fingers instinctively and pulled
 her girlfriend closer into her side. “Hey,” Lauren said her voice
was soft and reassuring. “It’s not your fault Camz. I’m not mad at
you.” “Your…not?” Camila asked. “No,” Lauren told her firmly.
“I’m glad that you told me actually.” Lauren said truthfully,
because she knew that Camila didn’t have to, that she could have
chosen to keep the information to herself but had decided to be
open and honest instead. “She’s…messing with…me? Isn’t she?”
Camila asked and Lauren cast a glance over her shoulder in
Rachel’s direction. She was still watching the two of them intently
from where she sat and Lauren couldn’t help the feeling of unease
that came over her. “I don’t know,” Lauren replied honestly. “I
don’t know what she’s up to,” Lauren told her. “Just…be careful
around her alright babe,” Lauren warned. Camila shook her head
in disbelief. “I…don’t…want to…be around her,” Camila admitted
truthfully, still feeling slightly uncomfortable with the whole
experience. Lauren smiled briefly at Camila’s words despite the
situation. “Did she upset you?” Lauren asked rather angrily.
“No…she just…I didn’t like it…” Camila shared. “I couldn’t wait…to
get…away…from her.” “I swear to God Camz,” Lauren said
seriously. “If she messes with you or does anything, I’m going to
kill her,” Lauren finished, the threat evident in her voice. “Me
too,” Normani seconded still glaring at the girl being discussed. “I
don’t know her,” Dinah stated simply, “but, if anyone messes with
Camren you know I’m going to kick their ass.” Dinah looked at
Rachel who turned her attention back to her friends as she looked
 over. “I already don’t like her.” Dinah commented. “She’s up to
something.” “Yeah but what?” Ally asked. “No idea.” Lauren said,
looking back over at Rachel once more. The other girl seemed to
sense she was watching because she lifted her gaze and smirked
in Lauren’s direction again. “I’m ss…sorry,” Camila apologised and
Lauren turned her attention back to her girlfriend and kissed her
promptly on the lips.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61527022667/trialsand-
tribulationschapter19 10/11 “Don’t you dare apologise,” Lauren
said lightly once their lips had parted. “Just…tell me if she does
anything to upset you.” Lauren asked of her. “Don’t…get in
trouble…” Camila said seriously. “It’s not…wo…worth…it.”
“Alright,” Lauren agreed sensing Camila’s distress and kissing the
side of her head lightly. “I won’t ok? I promise.” Camila nodded
acceptingly before kissing Lauren on the lips and, still feeling
rattled from French class earlier, she soon deepened it, taking
comfort from the feel of her girlfriends soft skin pressed against
her own, the familiar warmth of her mouth. Lauren, still holding
Camila’s hand in her own, rubbed at the base of her thumb
soothingly, and unlike the discomfort she’d felt when Rachel had
touched her earlier, Camila quickly relaxed, quietened by the
gesture she’d come to know so well. “Ignore her,” Camila almost
pleaded as they separated; the echoes of Miss Lovato’s words
from earlier and Lauren’s own words from yesterday coming back
to her. Lauren turned round to glance at Rachel once more, the
 other girl smirking again. Rachel lifted her eyebrow up in a
challenge, drawing her finger across her throat and gestured
between Lauren and Camila before giving her a thumbs down. “I’ll
try,” Lauren said turning back to Camila but knowing, deep down,
that it was probably a promise she shouldn’t be making. A/N:
Thanks for all the kind messages. I’m feeling a lot better now, just
aching a lot. I’m just sorry I couldn’t update for you guys
yesterday because all your feedback has been amazing and really
appreciated. Anyway, here’s the next chapter. It’s slightly longer,
because I felt like I owed you all, haha. So…yeah…keep reading.
Oh and for all the anons that want to know my name, it’s Beth x
Chapter 20
After her last period of the day, which consisted of a rather
embarrassing foray into sexual education during health class,
Lauren collected up her belongings and made her way along the
crowded hallway to wait for Camila by her locker as she normally
did. The afternoon had passed rather quickly in comparison to a
few other problematic days this school year; however, Lauren’s
mind had still been preoccupied for the duration of it, thoughts of
accompanying Camila to the police station and Rachel’s intentions
troubling her throughout. Lauren had never been to a police
station before and she pictured what it would be like using the
mental imagery that had been solely shaped from years of
watching bad crime shows on the television. She pictured heavy
set, middleaged detectives wearing scruffy shirts, a tie loosely
hanging round their neck, visible sweat stains under their arms as
they drank old coffee from a crappy machine and ate stale donuts
from a box. If she was honest, Lauren wasn’t anxious about going
to the police station as much as what the visit would be like for
Camila, recollections of how badly it had affected her girlfriend
yesterday still vivid in her recent memory. Camila had been
rendered near catatonic after being asked to identify the vehicle
which had hit her the previous day and it had taken hours for her
to finally resemble her normal self again, the visit leaving her with
fresh nightmares and memories to plague her sleep. Lauren was
concerned that Camila may face similar, if not worse difficulties
today after being asked to try and identify the driver which had so
recklessly and thoughtlessly changed her life. Lauren had to admit
that she had been exceptionally touched when Camila had
requested that she went with her to the police station. She was
more than happy to grant her girlfriend any demand if it would
potentially lessen her own anxieties and so had agreed to the plea
on the spot. If Camila needed support through this, then Lauren
would gladly provide it to her. Secretly, Lauren hoped that today
would mark the start of Camila finally putting to rest her own
demons surrounding the accident. Lauren prayed that by seeing
the driver and being able to put a face to the otherwise formless
entity, Camila would be able to move on with her life at last,
forgetting all the ridiculous notions of personal responsibility and
blame which she had. As Lauren stood, her back resting solidly
 against the orange locker adjacent to Camila’s, her books held
firmly against her chest in her crossed arms, she glanced along the
hallway and spotted Rachel, standing across from her a little way
to the right, studying her closely. Along with her concerns for
Camila in relation to the visit to the police station this afternoon,
Lauren had also been extremely worried regarding Rachel’s
current interest in her girlfriend which had seemingly appeared
out of nowhere. Lauren and Rachel had not dated long, a few
weeks at best towards the end of the last school year. Rachel was
not the type of girl that Lauren was normally attracted to; she
stood at a height of five foot seven inches and had long blonde
hair with bright piercing blue eyes. Rachel wasn’t on the
cheerleading squad but she had a lot of friends who were and she
could often be found sat with them or an assortment of the junior
varsity basketball team at lunch. Rachel had an athletic body and
captained the girls’ soccer team, playing offensively as one of the
school’s top scoring forwards. Lauren had first met Rachel at the
barbecue of a mutual friend one sunny Saturday afternoon.
They’d hit it off immediately, Lauren drawn to Rachel’s evident
confidence and outgoing manner. The two of them had spent that
day engrossed in each other’s company, conversation coming
easily before Rachel, late into Saturday evening, had finally asked
Lauren for her number. The two of them had fallen into an easy
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61620915328/trialsand-
tribulationschapter20 2/9 relationship to begin with, enjoyable
dates shared together bowling or at the movies. However, it soon
became apparent to Lauren that Rachel was still resolutely in the
closet when the pair of them ran in to a few of Rachel’s friends
one evening whilst out on a date. Rachel’s whole demeanour had
changed almost instantly on being approached by the small group
of her friends and the physical and emotional distance that she’d
created between herself and Lauren had prompted the end of
their relationship. Lauren was sympathetic to the process of
coming out to your friends and family, having had experienced
the same thing herself. Lauren understood that it was difficult and
daunting, however, the hurt that she’d felt at being publicly
disregarded and debased by Rachel had been all the motivation
she’d needed to finish their fleeting relationship. Lauren didn’t
judge Rachel for not being open about who she was, but, she
would not compromise herself to accommodate that, she’d spent
far too much of her life already pretending to be someone else
and she’d hated every second of it. Lauren had finally accepted
that she was a lesbian and was proud of herself for being able to
be open about it, there was no way she’d let anyone repeal that.
Lauren watched as Rachel excused herself from the group of
friends that she’d been standing with and made her way across
the crowded hallway to where she was stood. Only last month,
Lauren had rebuffed Rachel’s attempts at rekindling their
relationship, her feelings for Camila overwhelming her in every
way imaginable to the point that all other possible suitors paled in
comparison. Rachel had eventually declared her sexuality publicly,
but, unfortunately it was too late, Lauren was completely and
totally smitten with Camila, any feelings for Rachel totally erased.
Rachel had always been pleasant, even after the break up and
Lauren would never have thought of her as a bully or vindictive
but, all afternoon, all she could think about was all the possible
reasons why Rachel could have suddenly developed an interest in
Camila. Was it because she truly liked her, despite having never
spoken to her before today, or was it because she had an ulterior
motive and wanted to break them up? Either way, Lauren was
suspicious of Rachel and her motives. Lauren was worried, finding
that she didn’t like this unexpected complication in her
relationship one little bit. “Hi Lauren,” Rachel greeted as she came
to a stop before her exgirlfriend, the same smirk plastered on her
face that had been present at lunch. “Save it Rachel,” Lauren
replied, immediately on the defensive. “Oh come on,” Rachel said,
leaning against Camila’s locker with her left shoulder, facing
Lauren. “Don’t be like that. We used to be friends once.” She
paused for a moment before adding thoughtfully, her eyebrow
rising slightly at the recollection, “We used to be a little bit more
than friends if I remember correctly.” “That was a while ago,”
Lauren said bluntly. “I’ve moved on since then.” “I can see that,”
Rachel responded, a small laugh escaping her lips. “Camila…she’s
cute. She’s a little too innocent and inexperienced though.”
Rachel continued. “What do you want Rachel?” Lauren asked,
 already irritated by the other girl and her attempts at
conversation. “I want to know what Camila has that I don’t,”
Rachel told her simply. Lauren scoffed at Rachel’s words,
understanding finally dawning on her. “You’re jealous?” Lauren
asked her in disbelief. “I wouldn’t say I was jealous,” Rachel
replied taking a step towards Lauren. “I’m more curious than
anything else.” She reached up a hand and attempted to trace the
length of Lauren’s upper arm with the back of her finger, failing
when Lauren stepped back out of reach. “I mean, Camila seems
really nice and everything,” Rachel said, biting her bottom lip for a
moment, “but you deserve to be in a real relationship Lauren,”
Rachel informed her, “with someone who can count higher than
ten and doesn’t need to wear slip on or Velcro shoes.” “Screw you
Rachel,” Lauren said defensively. “You don’t know the first thing
about Camila…” “Not yet,” Rachel interceded, a slight threat
audible in her voice.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61620915328/trialsand-
tribulationschapter20 3/9 “I swear to God…” Lauren began angrily
stepping towards Rachel but the other girl cut her off. “What
Lauren?” Rachel asked her. “What will you do exactly?” “Stay
away from Camila,” Lauren threatened openly. “I’m only going to
say it once.” “Camila’s nothing to me except in the way,” Rachel
told Lauren dismissively. She reached up to place a hand on
Lauren’s forearm which she withdrew out from under Rachel’s
touch immediately. “You’re unbelievable,” Lauren said stunned.
 “Ilike to think of myself as optimistic,” Rachel said simply. “So
what…” Lauren started thinking things through in her head before
vocalising them. “You’re flirting with Camila to try and break us
up?” “I thought it might boost her selfesteem,” Rachel offered. “I
mean, she could probably use all the help she can get on that
front…” Lauren dropped her books instantly; reaching out her
hand and pushing Rachel back against the locker forcefully.
Lauren paused for a moment to look around her, taking in the
numerous pairs of eyes that were now watching their interaction
with interest. She dropped her hand and crouched to pick up her
books from the floor. “You’re extremely hot when you’re angry
Lauren,” Rachel said. Lauren abandoned the books on the floor to
stand up quickly again, only managing to stop herself from
pushing Rachel into the locker at the last moment, with some
ironwilled selfrestraint. Rachel looked at her in amusement.
“You’re extremely touchy when it comes to Camila,” Rachel
noted. “I guess you really like her.” She paused for a moment,
straightening her top slightly. “Camila’s an interesting
contradiction isn’t she Lauren?” Rachel asked watching Lauren
closely as her features contorted with frank rage, “vulnerable and
innocent, yet, sexy and cute all at the same time.” “I won’t say it
again Rachel,” Lauren almost spat through gritted teeth. “Leave
her alone.” “I don’t know,” Rachel said feigning contemplation.
“Camila’s kind of adorable when she’s flustered. I guess she’s not
used to people giving her attention.” Rachel paused for a moment
to let her words sink in. “It’s amazing what people will mistake for
love isn’t it?” she asked, trying to get under Lauren’s skin and
succeeding. “I’m sure someone with the selfconfidence that
Camila has wouldn’t just fall for the first person that showed the
slightest bit of interest. I mean, it’s not like you’re the only person
that has given her the time of day or anything. I’m sure she gets
plenty of offers.” Lauren made a threatening move to step
towards Rachel again, but the other girl put her hands up
defensively. “Hang on a minute,” Rachel said knowing that she’d
struck just the right chord, “just hear me out ok?” Rachel waited
for Lauren to say something, continuing when she didn’t. “I’m
helping you really,” Rachel told her. “If Camila really loves you
she’ll stay away from me, if not, well, then perhaps you’ll
reconsider my previous offer. You have to admit, our relationship
was fun whilst it lasted…” Rachel lifted her hand to stroke
Lauren’s arm again but she moved away again sickened. Lauren
leant down to pick up her textbooks quickly, eager to get as much
space between her and Rachel as possible. Once she’d gathered
them in her arms, Lauren stood up and glared at the other girl
who she was starting to see in a whole new light. “Get the hell
away from me,” Lauren said furiously. “I mean it Rachel. If you
come near me or Camila again…” “You won’t do anything,” Rachel
finished for her chuckling lightly. “You’re too much of a good girl
for that Lauren.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61620915328/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter20 4/9 “Don’t test me Rachel,” Lauren
muttered harshly an edge to her voice. “Don’t make me,” Rachel
returned darkly, her face suddenly taking on a bright smile as she
looked at something over Lauren’s shoulder. Lauren turned to see
Camila approaching them, Dinah and Normani on either side of
her. Normani gave Lauren a questioning look as she noticed
Rachel standing behind her. She raised her eyebrow curiously on
observing Lauren’s irritated appearance. “I’ll see you around,”
Rachel said animatedly to Lauren as the trio reached them. She
paused in front of Camila as she departed. “Hello again Camila,”
Rachel greeted her voice lowering seductively. “Hopefully I’ll be
seeing more of you.” She told her before offering a small wave
and disappearing down the hallway towards the exit. Lauren
glared at her as she left and only returned her attention to her
friends when she felt someone touching her arm gently. “Are you
alright?” Camila asked her raspy tone calming Lauren almost
instantly. Lauren smiled genuinely at Camila, reaching up her
hand to take her girlfriends in her own and squeezing it
reassuringly. “I am now,” Lauren told her sincerely and Camila
smiled at her in return before standing on her toes to plant a soft
kiss on Lauren’s lips in greeting. Lauren felt herself relax into the
kiss, all her anger now replaced with the familiar sensation of
butterflies in the pit of her stomach at the touch of Camila’s soft
lips on her own. Camila smiled as she rocked back onto her feet
and Lauren released her hand for a moment to allow her to open
her locker and transfer some books from her bag into it. Normani
and Dinah both gave Lauren an inquiring look in regards to
Rachel’s unexplained presence, but, Lauren shook her head
silently pleading with them to let it be for now, not wanting to
trouble Camila with it before her visit to the police station. Lauren
heard Camila close her locker firmly and felt the recognisable
warmth of her girlfriends hand as she slipped it into her own once
again. “Are you ready to go?” Camila asked, lifting her gaze to
meet Lauren’s. “Yeah,” Lauren told her rocking their hands back
and forth between them gently out of habit. “Normani,” Lauren
said addressing her friend, “I’ll call you later about that Chemistry
assignment?” she asked pointedly. “Right,” Normani said in
understanding. “Dinah’s coming to mine after our dance class but,
I’ll be free to talk.” “Ok,” Lauren noted. “I’ll speak to you then.”
“Bye,” Camila said, giving Normani and Dinah. “I hope everything
goes ok at the station,” Dinah said stepping forward and pulling
Camila into a quick hug. “Call me if you need anything alright?”
“Thanks,” Camila said appreciatively as Dinah released her. “I
will.” “I hope they finally charge the driver,” Normani said
sincerely hugging Camila briefly in goodbye as well. “It’s about
time they did if you ask me.” “Thanks Normani,” Camila replied
gratefully. “We should go,” Lauren observed, glancing at her
watch to check the time. “Your parents will be waiting for us
Camz.” “Ok,” Camila acknowledged and she waved in farewell to
the others as Lauren led the two of them down the hallway and
 out into the parking lot towards her car. Lauren opened Camila’s
door for her, taking her girlfriends bag and putting it onto the
back seat out of the way. She made her way around the car,
descending into the driver’s seat hastily before starting the engine
and pulling out onto the main road. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
Camila asked Lauren with concern and placing a hand on her
knee. “You seem really quiet.” “I’m just thinking,” Lauren told her
honestly. “What about?” Camila asked interestedly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61620915328/trialsand-
tribulationschapter20 5/9 “Nothing important,” Lauren said
turning to look at Camila and making a concerted effort to put a
smile on her face. “How are you feeling about the identity
parade?” Lauren asked her in an attempt to change the subject.
“Ok,” Camila replied. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be though,”
she admitted. “I really can’t remember anything about the
driver.” “You didn’t think you’d remember the car,” Lauren
offered supportively, “but, you did. Maybe you’ll recognise them
when you see them.” “Perhaps,” Camila conceded. “I’ll guess we’ll
soon find out.” “Are you nervous?” Lauren asked her. “You seem
like you are.” “Not about the identity parade,” Camila said, “but, I
don’t know, what if I do remember something…” “You’re worried
about having more nightmares?” Lauren questioned knowingly.
“A little,” Camila confessed and Lauren smiled at her sadly, “but,
I’m more worried about…I mean…it’s stupid…” “What?” Lauren
asked attentively. “I threw up,” Camila admitted.
 “Yesterday…when I remembered…I couldn’t stop myself…”
“You’re embarrassed.” Lauren stated rather than asked. “Itold you
it was stupid,” Camila said miserably. “It’s not stupid,” Lauren
said, smiling at Camila and reaching down a hand to take the one
which was still on Lauren’s knee. She squeezed it comfortingly.
“I’m sure that it happens all the time. You shouldn’t be
embarrassed.” “That’s why I wanted you to come,” Camila told
Lauren. “I feel safe with you around. You make me feel like I can
face anything.” For some reason Camila’s words didn’t stir Lauren
the way that they normally would, Rachel’s comments from early
casting doubt in her own mind about Camila’s feelings. Lauren
feigned a smile in response, squeezing Camila’s hand once more
before releasing it to hold the steering wheel and turning the car
in to the police station parking lot. Perhaps Rachel was right,
perhaps Camila’s feelings were based on nothing more than the
fact that Lauren was the only person showing her interest. Camila
openly admitted that she had problems with her selfesteem, what
if she was becoming dependent on Lauren and her affection to
help bolster that? Where would that leave Lauren when she
finally regained her selfconfidence? “Are you sure you’re alright?”
Camila asked watching Lauren closely as she turned off the
engine. “Yeah I’m fine,” Lauren said making a concerted effort to
smile again but she could see the doubt on Camila’s face and she
hated that her own betrayed her. “Ok,” Camila replied simply,
letting the matter drop as she got out of the car. Lauren cursed
inwardly at the dejection in Camila’s voice and quickly vacated the
car, locked it and stepped around the vehicle to her. “Hey,” she
said, placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder as she was starting to
make her way towards the building entrance. “I’m sorry alright? I
guess there’s just a lot going on.” “You don’t have to come in if it’s
too much?” Camila said, “My parents are inside…” “No I want to
be there,” Lauren interrupted quickly. “I do, Ijust…” “Have I upset
you?” Camila asked her seriously. “I mean with the Rachel thing
earlier…” She paused for a moment, dropping her gaze to the
floor. “I’m sorry, I…” Camila started. “No,” Lauren interjected
quickly. “It’s not you, it’s her. She’s just…she’s so annoying… she
said something and now I can’t seem to shake it.” “Something
about us?” Camila asked concerned.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61620915328/trialsand-
tribulationschapter20 6/9 “Please, can we talk about this later?”
Lauren asked. “We need to get inside. Your parents…” “They can
wait,” Camila said. “Camz,” Lauren pleaded. “Don’t you trust me?”
Camila asked her. “I don’t like her Lauren,” Camila said
conclusively. “I promise, I hated it when she touched me…” “I
know that,” Lauren told her. “Then what is it?” Camila asked her
worriedly. Lauren sighed audibly. “Please Camz,” Lauren
beseeched. “We can talk about it later.” “Fine,” Camila said
turning, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” “What?” Lauren said
tugging on Camila’s arm and stopping her in her tracks. “I said I’ll
see you tomorrow,” Camila repeated hurt evident in her eyes.
 “What about the identity parade?” Lauren asked her. “Don’t
worry about it,” Camila said. “My parents are here. You don’t
have to stay.” “Babe, please don’t be like this alright?” Lauren
implored as Camila tried to leave again. “Then tell me what’s
going on,” Camila replied. “What did she say?” “It’s not so much
what she said as what she implied,” Lauren responded. “Well
what did she imply?” Camila asked. Lauren studied Camila closely
before finally relenting. “She said that you were only with me
because I was the only person showing you any interest,” Lauren
said watching Camila’s face for a reaction. “She suggested that
you only think that you like me because the attention I give you
helps with your selfesteem.” Camila pulled her arm out of
Lauren’s grasp and stepped back from her wounded. “Camz,”
Lauren said, trying to reach for her hand but Camila retreated
again. “Don’t,” she said her voice hoarse and shaky. “I don’t
believe her,” Lauren said trying to step forward again. “You do
though,” Camila said putting her hands up in front of her. “You
think it’s possible, that what she says is true. Admit it.” “You said
yourself that you don’t think you can fall in love with someone
until you learn to love yourself again,” Lauren stated. “What if
you’re just confusing your feelings in your head?” “I wasn’t lying
when I told you I liked you Lauren,” Camila told her. “I’ve been
honest with you from the beginning. I’m…I’m….not confused
about that.” “How do you know that?” Lauren asked her and the
minute the words escaped her lips she knew that they’d been a
 mistake by the look that crossed Camila’s face. “I…” Camila
started and Lauren saw her words choke in her throat. “I…” she
started again. “I’m…not…confused…” Camila managed to express.
“I…know…because…I tell you…everything.” She continued.
“Everything Lauren…You are the only… ppp….person…that
knows…mmee…that…really…kn…knows…me.” “Camz,” Lauren
said feeling guilty instantly. “No,” Camila forced out. “I
am…I’m…I’m…mmore…honest…” Camila paused trying to
compose herself, evident frustration radiating off her at her
inability to speak properly. “More honest…with you…than
anyone…Itell you things…that…no one else knows….” “I’m sorry,”
Lauren apologised. “I let Rachel get to me ok? I’m sorry. Can we
please just forget it?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61620915328/trialsand-
tribulationschapter20 7/9 “I thought…th…that…you knew…how
hard it…was…for me…to share…and be…open,” Camila went on
ignoring Lauren’s apologies, “but…Itrust…you…” Lauren didn’t
know what to say in response to Camila’s words. She knew they
were true, knew that Camila wasn’t lying. How could she have
been so stupid as to let Rachel get in to her head? It was exactly
what Rachel had wanted and Lauren played directly into her
hands. Thinking about it objectively now, Lauren should never
have doubted Camila’s feelings. Ever since their first date, where
Camila had opened up to her about the accident, about her
feelings, Camila had started to share more and more with Lauren.
 Just this morning she’d told Lauren about her flashbacks,
something which she hadn’t revealed to the rest of the girls, not
even Dinah. Camila had asked her to be her girlfriend, she’d
planned everything out. She’d even spoken to Ally and Normani to
find out more about Lauren so that she could surprise her with a
date full of all her favourite things. You didn’t do that if you were
confused. You did that because you cared, really cared. Not just
because you enjoyed the attention that someone gave you.
Lauren tried to step forward to take Camila’s hand once again but
she pulled it out of her reach quickly. “Please Camz,” Lauren
entreated. “I’m so sorry.” Camila wiped at her cheeks with the
back of her hand, unable to stop the tears falling from her eyes.
Camila chuckled to herself and Lauren watched her slightly
confused. “Yeah…me too,” Camila said still laughing at the irony
of the situation. “I guess…I really do…like you,” she commented
and Lauren watched her feeling wretched. “Otherwise… this
wouldn’t…hurt…so…much.” “Camila,” Lauren said and Camila held
up her hand. “Goodbye…Lauren,” Camila said sadly, tears
glistening at the corner of her eyes in the afternoon sun as she
turned on her heels and made her way towards the entrance to
the police station. “Camz!” Lauren called after her, “Camila!”
However, she kept walking and Lauren felt her stomach drop and
her chest constrict tightly, her lungs struggling for breath. Shit.
Lauren thought her brain trying to compel her to go after Camila,
but her limbs disobeying it like a petulant child, tears falling from
her eyes instead. Shit. She thought again. Way to go asshole.
Chapter 21
Lauren stood paralysed, her mind in turmoil, unsure what she
should do for the best. Her head was telling her to go home, to
give Camila some space to get through the challenge which
awaited her inside that building. Glancing on the face of the
person who almost killed you, either knowingly or not, was going
to be hard enough for Camila without Lauren complicating things
even further with her now, obviously unwanted presence.
However, Lauren’s heart was contradicting her head fiercely,
compelling her to chase after Camila, to stop her from walking
away from her and more importantly them. Lauren’s heart
throbbed so painfully in her chest that she imagined it being
pulled forcefully against her chest wall with every step away from
her that Camila took. As Lauren hesitated, her head battling with
her heart indecisively, Camila disappeared inside the building and
Lauren felt an ache unlike anything else she’d ever experienced
before in her life. She felt her chest heave, air expelling from her
lungs in hard sobs as she cried openly and unabashedly in the
parking lot where she stayed, silently gaping at the electronic
doors, praying that at any moment Camila would reappear.
Finally, after fifteen minutes of waiting, Lauren realised that she
wouldn’t. Now that Camila had vanished out of sight, Lauren’s
mind finally conquered her failing heart and she slowly made her
way back towards her car, climbing into the drivers’ seat solemnly
and slamming the door closed behind her in frustration. All she
could think about whilst she sat there, her head resting listlessly
against the window, was how this was her fault and the self-
contempt she felt in that moment far exceeded any hatred that
she felt towards Rachel. Yes, her exgirlfriend was vindictive and
malicious but it had been her finger that had pulled the trigger
that may have ultimately ended her relationship with Camila.
Rachel may have been the one to plant doubts in her mind about
Camila’s feelings but Lauren had been the one to let them take
root and fester, growing exponentially and indiscriminately like
the cells of a malignant tumour until they completely consumed
her. Camila herself had not given Lauren one single reason to
distrust her feelings. In fact, her actions over the last twenty four
hours alone should have been enough to convince Lauren that she
was being ridiculous and asinine for even giving Rachel’s
comments a moment’s consideration. Lauren was angry with
Rachel for making her question Camila’s feelings and her
commitment to their relationship but, more than anything, Lauren
was livid with herself. She allowed Rachel to get under her skin, to
taint everything special that she and Camila shared, twisting it
around in Lauren’s head until she’d become irrational and self-
destructive. Rachel had gotten exactly what she’d wanted with
very little effort and Lauren had allowed it to happen, playing
right into her exgirlfriends hands without even a second thought.
 Lauren cursed herself mentally for being such an idiot, lifting her
head from its position against the window and turning her key in
the ignition, firing the engine into life noisily. Lauren debated
staying in her car and waiting in the parking lot for Camila to come
back out, but, she thought better of it when she remembered the
withdrawn and unresponsive form that she’d found yesterday
afternoon when she’d gone to Camila’s house after school. She
decided that, no matter what they were going through right now,
Camila didn’t need the extra complication, not when she was
already dealing with so much. So, Lauren slowly put her car in
reverse and pulled out of her parking space, exiting the lot and
making her way along the road beyond, driving with no particular
destination in mind, aimlessly and reflectively as she considered
everything that had transpired in the last few hours.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trialsand-
tribulationschapter21 2/10 She couldn’t have told you how long
she drove for, or which streets she had passed on her seemingly
arbitrary journey, but, Lauren would always remember where
she’d ended up, parked at the beach, in the same spot as she had
the evening of her first date with Camila. Lauren stared out her
window at the ocean, watching the waves as they rolled into the
shore and crashed into the sand beneath, stirring it up and
agitating it furiously. The imagery wasn’t wasted on Lauren and
she pictured Rachel, the stormy sea sweeping in and disturbing
the sand, or as she imagined it, her relationship with Camila.
 Lauren vividly remembered a particular story that Camila had
shared with her that evening that they had sat together on the
beach and a quote, that seemed especially relevant to their
situation now, “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” Camila
had told Lauren that at the time she’d not understood the words.
That it hadn’t been until after her accident that they’d finally
made sense and although Lauren had grasped the meaning of the
quote rather quickly, it was only now that she truly appreciated it.
As she sat there, time disappearing into an endless abyss, never to
be lived or experienced again, Lauren couldn’t help but regret her
actions but, she knew that if nothing else she’d learnt from them,
even if it were too late to salvage her relationship with Camila. If
Lauren’s life were a movie, it would be raining outside as she
stared out to sea, the light drizzle running smoothly down the
glass of the window as she gazed at the dull grey sky and dismal
weather which would perfectly suit her mood. However, her life
was not a movie, and although the wind was strong and the sky
cloudy, it was bright and every so often the sun would break
through a gap in the fluffy white clouds to warm Lauren’s face, a
small comfort in an otherwise miserable mood. Eventually Lauren
managed to tear herself away from the beach, pulling herself
together long enough to find her way home. The whole journey
she was plagued by memories of Camila’s joy the night of their
first date as she’d buried her toes in the sand and felt the light sea
breeze against her face. Once home, Lauren had hurried upstairs
 and thrown herself onto her bed, digging into her pocket for her
phone and dialling Camila’s number, completely oblivious to the
duration of time that had passed since they’d parted earlier.
When Camila didn’t answer, Lauren left a message, apologising
profusely and pleading for the other girl to give her a second
chance. A few minutes later, unable to tolerate doing nothing,
Lauren continued in this manner, twisting atop her duvet in
agitation, her body eager to do something more practical to
rectify her actions from earlier, until she must have left upward of
twenty voicemails. Finally, conceding defeat, Lauren dialled Ally’s
number, a quick glance at the clock informing her that both
Normani and Dinah were at their dance class and currently
unreachable. When Ally picked up the phone Lauren immediately
updated her on everything that had happened, from her regretful
encounter with Rachel in the hallway after school to her irrational
doubt towards Camila that had followed. Ally had been
sympathetic to Lauren’s plight and had informed her friend that
she would be around as soon as possible with vast amounts of
chocolate, the hope being that together they could figure out a
way for Lauren to fix things with Camila. That had been twenty
minutes and five further voicemail messages ago, yet, still there
was no sign of Ally. In the meantime, Lauren had found herself
pouring salt into the quickly decaying wound by rereading the
letter which Camila had written to her after she’d confessed her
true feelings out loud on that fateful afternoon. She was sat in the
window seat of her bedroom which overlooked her backyard, the
letter clutched firmly in her hands as the now darkened sky
unleashed a tumult of rain against the panel to her side, the
weather finally matching her dismal mood in a perfect pathetic
fallacy. Lauren was alone in the house as she read Camila’s words,
her parents at friends for dinner, her brother and sister
accompanying them, everyone assuming her to have been at the
police station. For the first time in a long time, Lauren felt lonely
and isolated sat upstairs and she glanced at her phone in the
hopes that she’d either had a silent text from Ally or even better,
Camila. She sighed when her screen revealed no new messages
and returned her attention back to the pages in front of her,
dejected, the words almost mirroring her own emotions in places.
‘I hate how we left things earlier because it felt like the end of
something which I wasn’t ready to let go of and I refuse to lose
something and someone I’ve come to value so much…I’ve tried
calling you but you’re not answering your phone and I don’t know
if I should be concerned that you can’t even bear the idea of
talking to me… I know that I have probably hurt you…’ The words
on the pages in her hands expressed her own feelings so perfectly
that it was almost as though Lauren had written them herself in
response to her current situation. She stopped reading and put
the letter aside when she heard the doorbell ring loudly from
downstairs, getting up quickly and sprinting to the front door to
let Ally in and out of the rain. Lauren almost passed out with
 shock when she opened the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trialsand-
tribulationschapter21 3/10 door to find not Ally, but Camila stood
before her, drenched from head to foot, wearing nothing to
protect her from the rain but her jumper and a pair of skinny
jeans. Lauren couldn’t see the expression plastered across her
face but she was pretty sure that it’d make a horrible picture, her
jaw hanging open wide in surprise, her eyes showing her disbelief.
“I don’t want to fight,” Camila said simply in greeting, the sleeves
of her jumper pulled low over her hands in an attempt to keep
warm and her feet shifting nervously beneath her. “Camila,”
Lauren managed to say, her brain still not quite registering the
reality of the situation but experiencing a faint glimmer of hope.
“What are you doing here?” “I don’t want to fight,” Camila
repeated meeting Lauren’s gaze squarely. “I don’t understand,”
Lauren replied confused, completely oblivious to the fact that
Camila was still standing outside in the foul weather. “I hate
fighting with you,” Camila told her honestly. “I already miss you.”
“I…” Lauren started in astonishment, her brain struggling to
formulate a coherent thought. “You…what about…” she tried to
say, but the sentences remained incomprehensible so she
repeated, “I don’t understand.” Camila stepped forward in a rush,
crashing her lips against Lauren’s and placing a hand on the small
of her back, pulling the dumbstruck girl closer to her sodden form
as she kissed her fervently. The cold from Camila’s saturated
clothes bought Lauren to her senses and she separated the two of
them, pushing Camila back gently by her shoulders to study her as
small droplets of rain ran off both the end of her nose and clothes
onto the mat beneath her. “Camila you’re drenched.” Lauren told
her as though she were unaware of the situation. “I don’t care,”
Camila replied honestly. “You’ll get sick,” Lauren continued
concerned. “How did you get here? Did you walk?” “Yes,” Camila
answered. “Are you crazy?” Lauren asked her. “It’s pouring
outside. What were you thinking?” “I wasn’t,” Camila said, still
standing out in the rain, seemingly undisturbed as it lashed
against her. Lauren reached for her arm and pulled her inside
hurriedly, closing the door behind her to shut out the weather.
“Let me get you some towels,” Lauren said making a move to go
upstairs. “No wait,” Camila said reaching for her arm and stopping
her in her tracks. “Can we talk? Please?” “Sure,” Lauren said, “but,
only after I’ve stopped you from developing pneumonia.” With
that Lauren quickly vanished upstairs, soon returning with a
handful of towels, a pair of her sweat pants, a tshirt and a hoody.
“Here,” Lauren said giving the pile of linen to Camila and gesturing
towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. “Go and get
changed.” “Lauren…” Camila said, turning to follow Lauren with
her eyes as the taller girl moved into the kitchen and out of sight.
Camila stood waiting for her to return expectantly but, when she
didn’t Camila relented and made her way to the bathroom. She
dried herself quickly and changed in to Lauren’s clothes, her scent
 filling Camila’s nostrils and the soft cotton of Lauren’s hoody
warming Camila almost instantly. Once she was dry, she picked up
her own waterlogged ensemble and made her way out to the
kitchen where she found Lauren preparing a cup of cocoa. She
turned to look at Camila, hearing her still damp and bare feet on
the tiles of the kitchen floor. She noted the handful of clothes in
Camila’s hands. “Give me those,” Lauren instructed in a motherly
tone, holding out her own hands readily, “I’ll put them in the
dryer.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trials-
andtribulationschapter21 4/10 Camila did as she was told and
Lauren threw the apparel into the machine, turning the dial and
starting it immediately. She gestured for Camila to take a seat at
the kitchen counter as she finished preparing their drinks but she
didn’t move, instead watching Lauren with interest. “What are
you doing?” Camila asked her after a moment. “I’m making you a
hot drink,” Lauren told her matter of factly. “Why?” Camila
questioned, stepping towards the counter and leaning on it with
her elbows. “I came to talk to you.” “I know,” Lauren said turning
around to hand Camila the now finished beverage. “I just…you
can drink at the same time can’t you?” “Why are you acting so
weird?” Camila enquired, taking the mug of cocoa from Lauren
and admittedly appreciating its warmth seeping into her fingers.
“What are you doing here?” Lauren countered. Her tone was
harsher than she’d intended it and she grimaced as she heard it.
Camila put the mug down on the counter and stepped around it
 until she stood before Lauren. “I’m sorry about earlier,” Camila
apologised, reaching up and placing a hand on Lauren’s arm.
“Why do you do that?” Lauren asked her voice incredulous. She
removed Camila’s hand from her arm, releasing it so that it fell
loosely down by her side. “Why do you always apologise for
things that aren’t your fault? Why can’t you just shout at me and
resent me like anyone else would?” “You want me to be mad at
you?” Camila asked her dubiously. “Why?” “Why?” Lauren said
disbelievingly. “Are you serious? I was a complete and utter idiot
earlier. You should be mad at me. I’m mad at myself. I hurt you
and I made a mess of everything.” “I overreacted,” Camila said
reaching up and placing her hand on Lauren’s arm again. “You
didn’t,” Lauren informed her. “You were right. You’ve always been
honest with me and you share things with me, you do, and I know
how hard that is for you sometimes. You share a massive part of
yourself with me Camila.” Lauren paused to let her words sink in
for a moment before continuing. “I mean, it was just yesterday
that you asked me to be your girlfriend and said that you thought
you were falling in love with me. We lay together on your bed and
you told me how you felt about the driver and why you’d chosen
to play ‘Skyscraper’ for me. You were right, ok. I shouldn’t have
doubted you.” Lauren took Camila’s hand from where it still
rested on her arm and held it in her own. “I’m so sorry that I
didn’t trust your feelings,” Lauren said simply. “I should have
done. You’ve given me no reason not to, I just, I don’t know, I
 guess I was just insecure and I let Rachel manipulate that for her
own gains.” “I thought you knew how much I liked you,” Camila
said her eyes wide but soft, the dark chocolate orbs absorbing
Lauren entirely. “I do Camz,” Lauren told her quickly squeezing
her hand. “Jesus…as soon as I vocalised my doubts out loud I felt
guilty because I knew that they were stupid. I’ve been miserable
all afternoon thinking that I’d ruined things for us, that I’d hurt
you…” “You did hurt me,” Camila admitted and Lauren reached up
her free hand to cup the side of Camila’s face. “I know, I’m so
sorry,” Lauren replied sincerely. “You have to believe me Camz…I
never wanted to hurt you. Please tell me what I can do to fix this.
How can I make you forgive me?” “Promise me something?”
Camila asked her tone serious. “Anything,” Lauren agreed
instantly. “Promise me that from now on you’ll talk to me if you
are having any doubts,” Camila said. “Don’t listen to what other
people say. Trust me when I say that I’ll tell you how I feel…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trialsand-
tribulationschapter21 5/10 “I do trust you Camz,” Lauren said. “I
do, honestly.” “Can we just forget about today then?” Camila
asked hopefully. “Please? I’m so sick of it. Can’t we just pretend
that it’s tomorrow already?” Lauren felt tears form at the corner
of her eyes in relief and she couldn’t stifle the inappropriate laugh
which escaped her lips in her happiness. “I would really like that,”
Lauren admitted nodding her head at Camila’s words. “You have
no idea how much I would like that,” she continued, before
leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Camila’s lips. “So, you’re
still my girlfriend?” Camila asked searching for clarification.
Lauren kissed Camila again quickly on the lips and then once
more, this time lingering there for a moment longer, deepening it
as she pulled Camila close in to her, enjoying the feel of her small
form wrapped up in her arms and the warmth that she was
radiating against her body. “For as long as you’ll have me,” Lauren
said kissing Camila’s forehead lightly, her mouth mumbling the
words into the scar above her left eyebrow. Camila finally
wrapped her own arms around Lauren, burying her head into her
chest as she spoke next. “I hated how we left things earlier,”
Camila said, her voice muffled by Lauren’s jumper. “I hated
leaving you. I didn’t want to, but, I was being stupid too…” “I wish
you’d let me come in to the police station with you,” Lauren told
her seriously. “I should have been there with you. You’d asked me
to come and support you and I let you down.” “It’s ok,” Camila
replied, lifting her gaze to meet Lauren’s but she still felt awful for
having not been there for her girlfriend when she’d needed her.
“How was it?” Lauren asked releasing Camila from her grasp and
allowing her to take a seat at the counter. Camila picked up her
drink and took a sip as Lauren descended into the chair beside
her. “Actually it was a lot easier than yesterday,” Camila admitted.
“I guess it kind of helped that I knew what to expect.” “Did
you…you know, see them?” Lauren asked her tentatively. “Him,”
Camila said, “and no…well I mean I guess I did, but, I don’t know
 which one it was.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked. “I
couldn’t remember,” Camila informed her. “I don’t know who the
driver was. I guess I never saw his face, just the car.” “You didn’t
ask?” Lauren questioned surprised. “I don’t think I want to know,”
Camila replied. “Not yet anyway. I’ll have to face him at some
point in the future, just, not yet.” “Why not?” Lauren asked her. “I
don’t know,” Camila shrugged, “Ijust don’t.” “Do your parents?”
Lauren asked. “Yes,” Camila told her. “My dad wanted to know so
they stayed a little while longer whilst I waited outside. I don’t
think I’ve ever seen him so angry, my mom either.” “Can you
blame them?” Lauren asked. “No,” she replied. “I suppose not.”
“Did they charge him?” Lauren probed interestedly. “Yes,” Camila
said her voice neutral. “Apparently a lot of the eyewitnesses
identified him and the car, plus, they managed to track down the
garage where he’d had the repair work on the car done.” Camila
paused for a moment to have a sip of her drink.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trialsand-
tribulationschapter21 6/10 “The garage still had the hood of the
car in their scrap heap,” Camila went on. “They found traces of
blood and have taken a sample to compare. They’re pretty
confident that it’ll match.” “So that’s it then?” Lauren enquired.
“For now,” Camila said, “until the trial.” “You have to go?” Lauren
asked her, she reached her hand forward to place it on top of
Camila’s sensing her distress at the prospect. “Yes,” Camila
replied. “I’m just not looking forward to having to relive it, that’s
 all. They’ll show pictures of me…after the accident…in the
hospital…I just…I don’t want to see them.” Lauren leant forward,
closing the gap between them and embracing Camila tightly in a
hug. Camila reciprocated and Lauren felt elated that she was able
to move on from what had happened earlier so easily. She would
never understand how she had gotten so lucky as to have Camila
in her life, never. “It’ll be ok,” Lauren reassured her. “I know,”
Camila replied smiling at Lauren. “It’ll just be hard that’s all.”
“Speaking of hard,” Lauren said wanting to get everything out in
the open if they were starting over. “We might have a problem
with Rachel.” Camila lowered her gaze to the counter for a
moment before meeting Laurens’ eyes again. “I’d kind of assumed
that we might have,” Camila replied thoughtfully. “She’s jealous
because I chose you over her,” Lauren told her. “That’s why she’s
being so nice to you Camz. It’s why she was trying to get in to my
head earlier…” “I’ll stay away from her,” Camila replied seriously.
“That might be easier said than done,” Lauren noted. “Actually for
me it’s probably easier done than said…” Camila joked and Lauren
smiled despite herself. “Camz I’m serious,” Lauren responded. “So
am I,” Camila continued. “Lauren she can only hurt us if we let
her.” “She already did get hurt us,” Lauren acknowledged, “I let
her get to me and look what happened.” “You won’t in the
future,” Camila reassured her. “You won’t make the same mistake
again.” “You really believe that don’t you?” Lauren asked her.
“Yes,” Camila answered honestly as she leant over to kiss Lauren’s
 lips comfortingly, “because from now on I’ll make extra certain
that you know how much I care about you.” “Oh,” Lauren said
raising her eyebrow playfully. “Is that so?” “Yes,” Camila said
kissing Lauren again. “Perhaps she’ll even start to get the hint
when I push you up against the lockers and start making out with
you in the middle of the hallway.” Lauren sucked in a breath at
the thought of the Camila’s scenario and felt her face flush red in
response. “You wouldn’t…” Lauren said, her mind playing out the
scene over and over again on loop. “No you’re probably right,”
Camila replied smiling brightly, “firstly, I don’t have the strength
or the coordination to push a small kitten up against the lockers
yet alone a person. She drained the remainder of her drink from
the cup before continuing. “However, I don’t think a little more
PDA would hurt,” Camila said biting her bottom lip.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trialsand-
tribulationschapter21 7/10 “You make a compelling argument,”
Lauren said, watching Camila’s lips closely. “I thought I might,”
Camila laughed. She stood up from the stool she’d been sitting on
to pick up her cup and take it over to the sink to rinse. Lauren
watched her curiously from where she sat for a moment before
standing up herself and following her across the kitchen. Camila
placed the now empty cup in the sink, turning on the tap in
preparation for washing it, but Lauren spun her around to face
her, reaching over to turn the tap off again. “What are you
doing?” Camila asked a small smiling gracing her lips as Lauren
 pressed her hips into Camila’s, backing her into the cabinet
behind her. “I just thought that we should practice some of that
PDA you were talking about, you know, to make it convincing.”
Lauren told her teasingly as she gripped onto Camila’s waist with
her hands. “Lauren,” Camila said flustered, her face bright red.
“You should wear my clothes more often,” Lauren told Camila,
studying her closely, her eyes roaming every inch of her, taking in
every feature. “I think I prefer them on you any way.” Lauren
dipped her right hand under the tshirt and hoody Camila wore,
tracing small delicate paths along the soft skin beneath. She felt
Camila’s abdomen tense slightly beneath her fingers and Lauren
smiled when she heard the sharp intake of breath from her
girlfriend. Lauren pressed closer to Camila so that their faces were
mere inches apart and lowered her head, tilting it slightly to place
a soft delicate kiss to Camila’s neck where it met her jaw. She
heard Camila moan and Lauren smirked against her skin as she
traced soft kisses up towards Camila’s ear, her hand still drawing
small circles on her stomach. Using her other hand, Lauren
reached up and grasped the back of Camila’s neck, tugging lightly
on the hair at the base of her neck. She kissed the base of
Camila’s jaw once again and enjoyed the feel of Camila squirming
beneath her as she lifted her lips and pushed them against her
girlfriends, wasting no time in deepening the kiss eagerly, her
tongue combatting with Camila’s as she felt the other girl push
back against her at last. Finally, having elicited a response, Lauren
leant back, parting their lips and opening her eyes to find Camila’s
still closed. They opened a few seconds later, seemingly
registering that Lauren was no longer touching her and their lips
were no longer locked together. Camila swallowed hard, her lips
swollen and her pupils dilated. She furrowed her brow when she
saw Lauren’s amused expression. “That’s pay back for yesterday,”
Lauren teased, stepping back and making her way over to the
fridge to get herself a soda. “What?” Camila said breathless, her
voice light and airy. “Why?” Lauren pulled out a can of coke and
opened it, the gas escaping in a rush, much like the oxygen in
Camila’s lungs. She closed the fridge and leant up against it,
eyeing Camila closely. “I seem to recall you doing the exact same
thing to me on your bed yesterday,” Lauren said smugly, taking a
sip of her drink. “It sucks doesn’t it?” Camila smiled at Lauren’s
words, a wide grin spreading across her features as her girlfriend
watched her nonchalantly from against the fridge. “Not really,”
Camila said playfully. “In fact, I kind of liked it.” Lauren raised her
eyebrow in surprise as Camila quickly closed the distance
between them and pushed Lauren up against the fridge making it
rock back slightly and the glass inside clink together as they
settled once again. Lauren quickly placed the can of coke on the
counter to her right as Camila pushed her hands into the back
pockets of Lauren’s jeans, her palms effectively cupping her
buttocks as she pulled Lauren against her. Camila leaned forward
and kissed Lauren who relaxed back into the fridge slightly in
response to the feel of Camila’s lips on her own. The doorbell rang
and Lauren felt Camila smile against her lips before pulling her
head back and looking into her eyes pointedly. “Saved by the
bell,” Camila stated, removing her hands from Lauren’s back
pockets and reaching over to take the can of coke from the
counter. She leant back against it to take a
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61724670064/trialsand-
tribulationschapter21 8/10 swig as Lauren made her way to
answer the door, muttering curses under her breath about Ally’s
crappy timing and causing Camila to laugh as she watched her
disappear out of sight. Lauren answered the door to find Ally
standing beneath an umbrella which she held in one hand, a bag
of confectionary in the other. “Hi, sorry Itook so long,” Ally
apologised. “Have you heard back from Camila?” “Actually she’s
here,” Lauren said, making a move to close the door. “In fact
we’re all good…so…yeah…see you later.” Ally stuck her foot in the
door to stop it closing and succeeding, Lauren only closing it
slowly. “Aww…did Iinterrupt you two making up?” Ally teased and
Lauren groaned inwardly. “Ok, so yeah, the moments over,”
Lauren opened the door to let Ally past and closed it behind her
as she lowered her umbrella. “Camz, Ally is here to be the
awkward third wheel!” she called and Camila appeared in the
doorway to the kitchen, still drinking Lauren’s soda. “Hi,” Camila
greeted waving at Ally who had a huge grin plastered on her face
as she noticed Camila wearing Lauren’s clothes. “Oh,” Ally said
 misunderstanding the situation. “I didn’t realise I’d actually
interrupted you two making up?” “What?” Lauren said confused
before noticing Camila’s attire and finally seeing how it might look
from Ally’s point of view. “Oh no, it’s not like that…” “Yeah
whatever you say,” Ally said doubtfully as she made her way in to
the kitchen to help herself to a drink and to unload the items
she’d bought on to the kitchen counter. Lauren looked horrified at
Ally’s error and Camila, noting her embarrassment couldn’t help
but laugh at the expression on her face. “Camz,” Lauren protested
quietly so that only she could hear. “Would you please tell her
that it wasn’t like that?” Camila raised her eyebrow playfully
before winking in Lauren’s direction, turned on her heels and
vanished into the kitchen to join Ally, leaving a very flustered
Lauren standing in her wake in the hallway. A/N: So…it’s like
3.11am here. Who even knows what this chapter is like, haha.
Anyway, hopefully you’ll enjoy it. I’m going to bed. Night peeps!
Oh. P.S. Do your homework ;) x
Chapter 22
Ally had stayed with Camila and Lauren for a while, sitting at the
kitchen counter with the two of them, eating an assortment of
confectionary and discussing the events of the day in detail. Both
Camila and Lauren had found it therapeutic to revisit everything
that had happened again today, Ally providing them with some
much needed thoughtful and balanced counsel. “I’m so happy
that you guys managed to work things out,” she told them
 honestly. “I was really worried when you called me Lo,” Ally
continued turning to her friend. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you
so agitated before.” Lauren glanced at Camila who was watching
her closely, a small smile on her lips. “Yeah well, I don’t think I’ve
ever felt so agitated before,” Lauren admitted reaching her hand
along the counter to take hold of Camila’s. “If Lauren ever does
something as illadvised and idiotic as that again,” Ally said turning
to Camila feigning seriousness, “then you have my permission to
cause her an immense amount of physical harm alright?” “Hey,”
Lauren protested, knowing that Ally was only joking. “I know I
acted irrationally ok. I guess I just lost my mind for a minute. Can I
plead temporary insanity or something?” “Everyone can see how
much you two mean to one another,” Ally told her in response. “It
would have to have been temporary insanity Lo. That’s the only
logical reason I can think of as to why you would ever question
the way Camila feels about you, especially because of something
that Rachel Murphy said.” “I think we were both at fault,” Camila
commented squeezing Lauren’s hand reassuringly. “So much has
happened in the last couple of days that I think we were just
overwhelmed by everything, at least, I know I was.” Camila shared
openly. “I had an emotional, knee jerk reaction to what Lauren
said and walked away when I should have stayed and listened.
Maybe if we’d talked things through properly straightaway then
we could have saved each other a few hours of heartbreak.” “I
think that you’re probably right,” Ally acknowledged in
 understanding, “but, I’m not surprised that you’re feeling
overwhelmed. You’ve got so much going on Camila that I don’t
know how you even begin to deal with it. How both of you deal
with it.” Ally said glancing at Lauren and pausing to take a sip of
her drink. “I mean, you’re a couple now so it affects you too, right
Lo?” “I guess,” Lauren conceded, having not really considered it
before. “Ally’s right,” Camila admitted in realisation. Lauren
played with Camila’s fingers mindlessly out of habit as she
continued. “You put up with a lot of things that most people
wouldn’t even entertain the idea of getting involved with.” Camila
said thoughtfully. “You make it sound like I’m some sort of saint,”
Lauren laughed. “Well let’s not be ridiculous,” Camila joked. “I
don’t think I’d ever call you a saint…I mean, you did just pin me up
against the sink and tease me profusely. I definitely don’t
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 2/10 remember reading about any saints in
my religious studies class who’d ever done that.” Ally raised her
eyebrow slightly and turned to look at the kitchen sink in
question. “I don’t think I need to hear about this,” she said turning
to look back at the others. “How you two decide to reconcile after
a fight is something that I do not need to know.” “Oh my God
Ally,” Lauren said incredulously. “I don’t know what you think we
were doing before you got here but it was not that. Camila was
wet so I leant her some clothes…” “I’m sure she was,” Ally
interrupted raising her eyebrow suggestively before she turned to
 study Camila who was still sat wearing Lauren’s hoody. “Camila,
would you tell her please?” Lauren pleaded her face blushing
copiously at her poor choice of words moments ago. For a
moment, Lauren didn’t think Camila was going to say anything but
eventually she relented. “Nothing happened Ally,” Camila told her
as Lauren muttered ‘thank you’ under her breath. “Shame,” Ally
said, one side of her face turning up into a wide grin. “You should
consider it in future. I’d definitely recommend it.” “Ally!” Lauren
said stunned at her friends’ boldness despite already knowing that
she’d slept with Troy over the summer. “I thought you were
supposed to be the religious one in the group?” “Going to church
doesn’t make me anymore of a saint than you Lo,” Ally informed
her lightly. “I know,” Lauren replied. “It’s just, I’d expect a
comment like that from Normani. Hell, even Dinah come to think
of it. I didn’t realise you could be as brash as those two.” “I’m just
saying that if you were, you know…” she trailed off leaving the
insinuation hanging. “Who cares? It’s only natural. There’s
nothing to be embarrassed about.” “We’re waiting,” Lauren said
simply in return. “We are?” Camila asked her. “Wait, we’re not?”
Lauren said startled. “I don’t know,” Camila admitted in response
to Lauren’s question. “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.” “I
think we should wait,” Lauren admitted honestly. “I mean, I want
you to be sure…I don’t want to rush or anything…we’ve only been
together for just over a month…” “Ok this just got a little more
awkward than I’d intended,” Ally said, making an apologetic face.
 “Sorry.” Lauren gave Ally a quick look and the smaller girl cleared
her throat, standing up from her seat hurriedly. “You know,” Ally
said, wiping her hands on her trousers and picking up her jacket
from where it hung on the back of her stool, “I should probably
go, leave you guys to it.” She picked up her umbrella from where
it rested against the counter. “I’ll see you both tomorrow…” Ally
put her hand out as Lauren made a move to stand up in order to
see her to the door. “No don’t worry,” Ally said as Lauren lowered
herself back in to the chair slowly. “I’ll see myself out. You two
should…talk…or something.” She turned and made her way
towards the front door, calling a quick goodbye over her shoulder
as she disappeared out of sight. Lauren heard her front door open
and close a few moments later and turned back to look at Camila
who was watching her intently. “You know we don’t have to talk
about this now,” Lauren said laughing a little to break the
uncomfortable silence which had fallen between them. “Well it’s
kind of out there,” Camila said, dropping her gaze to the counter
in front of her timidly. “Ok,” Lauren said as Camila met her gaze
again. “So, let’s talk about it then.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 3/10 “I’ve never…you know,” Camila
informed her like it was some big secret. The truth was that
Lauren already knew that Camila was inexperienced. Camila had
already admitted that she’d never been in a relationship before
now, that until recently she’d never even kissed anyone but in this
 case, she and Lauren were in exactly the same place. “Yeah,”
Lauren acknowledged. “I know Camz. That’s why Ithink that we
should wait.” “You’re not a….I mean…you’ve…you know…?”
Camila asked clumsily. “No,” Lauren admitted. “I’ve never slept
with anyone before either.” “You haven’t?” Camila asked her
slightly relieved. “No,” Lauren confirmed. “I’ve only dated a few
people Camz,” she shared, “and none of them long enough to
want to, you know, take that next step with.” “So it’d be the first
time for both of us?” Camila asked. “Yes,” Lauren said taking
Camila’s hand in her own and playing with her fingers again, “but,
I’m not ready.” “Me neither,” Camila acknowledged having now
given it some consideration. “I like where we are now,” she said.
“Me too,” Lauren said kissing Camila on the lips briefly. “We’ll
figure it out together ok?” “Ok,” Camila agreed smiling. “Later,”
Lauren reiterated. “Yeah like, in a week or something?” Camila
joked. Lauren laughed and hit Camila gently on the arm. “Or
something.” She replied and leant over to kiss her again. “You
know,” Camila said when they’d parted, her thoughts returning
back to their earlier topic of conversation. “I really hadn’t realised
how much I was asking you to take on when we started dating,”
Camila admitted. “I have a lot of baggage I guess…” “I don’t
mind,” Lauren interrupted her truthfully. “Everyone has some
baggage.” “Yeah but it’s a lot for you to deal with,” Camila told
her. “My physical disabilities are bad enough on their own yet
alone…” “It’s a lot for you to deal with as well,” Lauren noted
 cutting her off. “Yes, but, I have to contend with them” Camila
replied. “You don’t…you choose to…” “Yes because I want to be
with you,” Lauren interjected reaching up to cup Camila’s cheek
and stroking it gently with the pad of her thumb. “So…stop
worrying about it alright?” “Lauren…” Camila started to protest
but Lauren kissed her quickly to silence her. “It’s not too much for
me,” Lauren told her plainly, “because we’ll deal with things
together, both of us. Besides my mom always said a problem
shared is a problem halved…or something like that.” Camila
smiled, relaxing slightly at Lauren’s words. “I lov…” Camila began
but Lauren kissed her again, preventing her from finishing her
thought. Camila pulled her face back quickly a look of confusion
on her features. “Don’t say it,” Lauren told her knowingly. “Why
not?” Camila asked her puzzled. “Because,” Lauren answered.
“You’re still not a hundred percent sure yet Camz,” she
acknowledged, “and that’s fine.” “I know but Ithink that I…”
Camila started again. “Yeah, but I don’t want you to say it until
you’re sure,” Lauren said honestly. “It’ll be worth the wait, trust
me.” Lauren winked as she finished and Camila smiled happily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 4/10 “I like you…a lot,” Camila settled for
instead, granting Lauren’s request. “Even more than Ilike Ed
Sheeran.” Lauren smiled brightly at Camila’s words and kissed her,
this time deepening it vehemently, her tongue probing Camila’s
mouth hungrily until they needed to separate to catch their
 breaths. “I love you,” Lauren told her easily, a face eating grin
spreading across her features. “Remind me of that from time to
time when I’m being a total asshole.” “I will,” Camila promised,
“but only if you promise to call me out for being overly
emotional…” “At least you have a valid reason for it,” Lauren
laughed referring to the fact that Camila’s head injury meant she
suffered from emotional lability. “Still,” Camila laughed. “Remind
me of that from time to time as well.” “Deal,” Lauren agreed and
she took Camila’s hand as she stood, pulling her girlfriend up from
her seat and leading her into the lounge. “What are you doing?”
Camila asked Lauren as she gently pushed Camila down onto the
sofa. “Well,” Lauren said, “we’ve got the house to ourselves so, I
figured we could crash out on the sofa and watch old episodes of
‘Friends’,” she finished. “That is, if you want to?” “Sure,” Camila
said cheerfully, settling herself on the sofa and tucking her feet up
underneath her as Lauren found the season one box set and put
the first disc into the DVD player. She picked up the remote
control as she made her way over to the sofa and flopped down
beside Camila, lifting her feet up on to the coffee table in front of
her as Camila cuddled into her side. Lauren placed an arm around
Camila’s shoulder pulling her girlfriend closer in to her before
switching on the TV and starting the DVD. As the now famous
credits rolled and The Rembrandts song played, Lauren kissed
Camila gently on the top of the head. They’d stayed that way until
Lauren’s family had returned towards Camila’s curfew when
Lauren had driven her girlfriend home, walking her to the door as
she normally did and kissing her one final kiss goodnight before
heading back to her own house to sleep, her body already eager
to see Camila again. The next day, Lauren, Ally and Dinah were sat
together in home room. Camila was sat at the front of the class
having a discussion with Miss Lovato regarding some upcoming
coursework which she had to submit for her US history class
which she was kindly looking over for her. “So Camren are still
going strong?” Dinah asked after Lauren had filled her in on
everything that had happened yesterday afternoon. “Yes,” Lauren
informed her gladly. “We’re still going strong Dinah. It was just a
little blip, that’s all.” “Good,” Dinah commented, glancing at Ally
beside her momentarily, “because I really don’t want to have to
kick your ass Lauren but if you hurt Mila then I will.” “I believe
you,” Lauren told Dinah lifting up her hands protectively in front
of her. “Normani was kind of pissed that you didn’t call her last
night to update her on the whole Rachel thing,” Dinah informed
her. “I know but I caught up with her this morning.” Lauren said in
response. “I just completely forgot that I was meant to call her.
Camz and I started watching ‘Friends,’ then the next thing I knew
my parents were home and it was almost her curfew.” “What are
you going to do about Rachel?” Ally asked Lauren seriously. “Are
you going to tell Miss Lovato about her?” “What exactly would I
tell her?” Lauren asked. “She hasn’t actually done anything, not
really. What happened yesterday was down to my actions and
 she’s being nice to Camz.” Lauren paused for a moment. “Too
nice…but, still, I can’t really complain about that. She’ll think I’m
mental.” “You are,” Dinah replied laughing slightly in amusement.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 5/10 “Camz is going to stay away from her
as much as possible and I’m going to ignore her.” Lauren informed
them. “Or kill her,” Dinah noted. “It’s fiftyfifty at the moment,”
Lauren admitted, “just, don’t tell Camz that. She’ll kill me and
she’s surprisingly strong for someone so weak.” “Have you seen
Rachel at all today?” Ally asked. “Not yet,” Lauren told her.
“Hopefully it will stay that way as well. I can’t guarantee that I
won’t punch her in the face if I see her.” “That makes two of us,”
Dinah concurred before asking, “So, whose house are we going to
tonight?” “I’ve been thinking about that,” Ally said in response.
“What do you mean?” Dinah asked her. “Well,” Ally started
glancing at Lauren on her left. “Just that Camila said she’d had so
much happening over the last couple of days that she’s been
feeling a little overwhelmed…” “Yeah,” Dinah said still not
grasping the point Ally was trying to make. “So,” Ally began to
clarify. “Perhaps we should do something different, you
know…fun. It might help her to take her mind off everything for a
bit.” “Movie nights are fun,” Dinah protested. “They are,” Ally
agreed, “but maybe we could do something else for a change. We
always spend Wednesday’s at someone’s house. “Why don’t we
go somewhere instead?” “Where did you have in mind?” Lauren
 asked intrigued by the suggestion. “I don’t know,” Ally
commented. “I was hoping you’d think of somewhere. What kind
of places does Camila enjoy going?” Lauren and Dinah exchanged
a look. “She likes the beach,” Lauren said, “so maybe we could go
down there but that wouldn’t be all that different to hanging out
at someone’s house.” “What about bowling?” Ally offered. “She
can’t bowl,” Dinah answered. “Since the accident?” Ally asked.
“No,” Dinah laughed. “She has always had crappy aim.” “What
about the arcade?” Lauren suggested. “We could head down
there and then out for something to eat?” “Maybe,” Dinah said
thoughtfully. “Why don’t we check with Normani at lunch and see
if she’s got any suggestions?” Lauren said. “Suggestions for
what?” Camila asked as she descended into her seat beside
Lauren, having picked up the tail end of the conversation. “For
tonight,” Dinah told Camila as she settled into her chair, placing
her notebook and pen on the table in front of her. “Ithought we
were going to Normani’s house tonight?” Camila asked. “Ok, how
is it that you can remember that fact and I can’t?” Dinah asked
playfully. “Your memory is awful.” Lauren narrowed her eyes at
Dinah’s words and she quickly added, “I mean that in the most
inoffensive way possible of course.” Camila shrugged, not
disputing that her memory was bad. It had been ever since the
accident in June. “So what are we suggesting?” Camila asked
moving on. “Movies?” “No,” Ally said. “We thought perhaps it
would be nice to do something different for a change. To have
 some fun.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 6/10 “Like what?” Camila asked. “We don’t
know,” Ally admitted. “We thought it might be a nice distraction
from everything you’ve got going on with the police though. I
know you said yesterday that you were feeling a bit overwhelmed
by it all.” “Aww Ally,” Camila practically cooed. “So what do you
think Mila?” Dinah asked. “Any ideas?” “Well,” Camila said
thoughtfully. “We could do some of the things that I’d planned for
my date with Lauren. They all sound like they’d be fun.” “You
want us to go on a group date with you and Lauren?” Dinah
laughed. “You practically do every Wednesday anyway,” Camila
commented and Ally chuckled at the realisation. “Yeah ok,” Dinah
said. “Can we talk about this a minute?” she asked. “How is it fair
that you can bring a date to girls’ night and I can’t?” Lauren and
Camila exchanged amused looks. “My date,” Lauren said
wrapping her arm around Camila for effect “is a girl.” “That’s not
fair though,” Dinah protested. “I don’t make up the rules,” Lauren
replied shrugging slightly. “You can always get yourself a girlfriend
if you want to bring a date to girls’ night Dinah. I might know a
crazy bitch if you’re interested.” Dinah made a face. “I’ll pass,” she
responded, laughing lightly at Lauren’s suggestion. “Doesn’t Siope
work after school on Wednesdays?” Ally asked Dinah uncertainly.
“Well, yeah,” Dinah admitted. “So he wouldn’t ever be able to
come anyway would he?” Ally told her laughing. “Plus, Arin has
football practice and Troy has band practice. That’s why we chose
Wednesday evenings to meet up in the first place.” “Ok,” Dinah
said defeated. “Maybe you’re right…” “Maybe?” Lauren asked.
“Ok so you’re right,” Dinah conceded, “but you know, no one ever
told me about the perks of being a lesbian before. Perhaps I
would have reconsidered it if I’d had all the information available
to me beforehand. I didn’t know you’d get to hang out with your
friends and go on a date all at the same time.” “Dinah,” Lauren
said in disbelief. “You get to do that on a Friday night after Arin’s
football games when we all go out and get food. It’s not a lesbian
thing.” “Would you stop being so smart,” Dinah said playfully
realising she was right. “You’re such an idiot,” Camila said
laughing at her friend. “The nerve,” Dinah said feigning hurt.
“After everything I do for you Chancho.” “You mean like annoy
the hell out of me?” Camila teased. “The irritation comes with a
side of pizza,” Dinah told her seriously. “It could come with a
salad. Think about that.” “Oh, I am.” Camila replied chuckling
lightly and Lauren studied her face as the features lit up brightly.
“Seriously though Camila,” Ally said, “Ithought you were going to
take Lauren out to do those things, you know, just the two of you.
Do you really want us tagging along?” “I don’t mind,” Lauren said
in response to Ally’s fears. “It’ll be fun. Plus, Camz will be there
and that’s the main thing.” Camila smiled at Lauren’s words and
picked up her hand, rubbing the back of it with her thumb
soothingly. “Eww…” Dinah joked. “Count me out if this is a
 preview of what’s to come later.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 7/10 “Ok,” Ally said, “So we’re going to do
this then?” “Sounds like it,” Camila replied nodding excitedly. “So
what are we doing?” Dinah asked and Lauren looked at Camila
expectantly. “Well that would be telling,” Camila avoided the
question. “You’re not going to tell us?” Lauren asked confused.
“How am I supposed to know where to go?” “I’ll tell you at the
time,” Camila told her. “How will the others know where to meet
us?” Lauren asked. “Me and Normani helped plan it remember,”
Ally said. “So you and Mani know but I can’t?” Lauren asked
laughing. “How is that fair? It’s my date you’re kind of hijacking.”
“It would have been a surprise anyway,” Camila said leaning
forward and resting her head on Lauren’s shoulder as she linked
their arms together. “Besides you only have to wait a few hours
and then you’ll know, won’t you?” “Why can’t I know?” Dinah
asked her. “You do,” Camila said making a disbelieving face. “I
do?” Dinah asked. “Jesus Dinah,” Camila said laughing. “Are you
serious?” “I don’t understand what’s going on?” Dinah asked
earnestly. “Wait,” Camila said lifting her head up off Lauren’s
shoulder and narrowing her eyes questioningly. “Did you wake up
as me for the day?” She paused for a moment as if considering
something. “Am I you?” “Camz,” Lauren said laughing. “No I mean
it,” Camila continued playacting. “Let me just try something….hoi,
hoi… testing, testing…hashtag the nerve…hashtag moded…”
 Camila laughed at herself, a loud throaty chuckle escaping her
lips. “That was vela.” “Wow, that was like looking in a mirror,”
Dinah commented in amusement. “So…hold up, ok…I’m going to
need you to tie my shoelaces for me…yep, look…it’s come
undone. Help a girl out would you?” “Dinah!” Ally said stunned at
her words. “I was joking,” Dinah said waving her hand
dismissively. “That wasn’t actually that funny,” Ally told her,
Dinah’s humour hitting a little too close to the mark. Dinah and
Camila exchanged a pointed look. “Oh God,” Dinah said, “I really
am you….when the hell did that happen?” “This is definitely some
Freaky Friday voodoo,” Camila noted in pretend alarm. “Did you
have Chinese last night? You didn’t have a fortune cookie did
you?” “I did,” Dinah mocked. “I did, I admit it. That must be it.”
She shook her head and laughed slightly. “This is awful,” Camila
said seriously. “I’m going to fall on my ass multiple times today
and I didn’t even wear my knee pads or anything,” Dinah said.
Camila raised her eyebrow in amusement. “I don’t wear knee
pads.” She commented. “Well, maybe you should.” Dinah
suggested. “What are we going to do?” Camila asked. “Well, for
one thing,” Lauren said removing her arm from around Camila’s
shoulder and reaching over to take Dinah’s hand. “It looks like I’m
going to be paying for Dinah’s dinner tonight.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61772412523/trialsand-
tribulationschapter22 8/10 “Hey,” Camila protested, sticking out
her bottom lip in a pout. “Isn’t that right babe?” Lauren asked
 laughing at the look on Dinah’s face as she started to stroke the
back of her hand. “Aww…thanks babe,” Dinah said fluttering her
eyelids at Lauren. “Yeah, no,” Lauren said lifting her hand to put it
back around Camila’s shoulders. “I can’t…Ithink I’d rather date
Camila’s body…” “You’re so superficial,” Camila said to Lauren in
jest as she reached up her hand to link fingers with Lauren’s
where her hand was draped around her neck. “Not to mention
rude,” Dinah said. Ally burst out laughing. “I don’t know what just
happened,” she said watching the show, thoroughly entertained.
“Me neither,” Lauren agreed as the bell rang signalling the end of
the period. “Can I walk you to health class?” Lauren asked Camila
as she stood up from her chair. She kept her arm around Camila’s
neck as she too ascended with her bag. “I don’t know,” Camila
said. “Won’t your girlfriend get jealous?” she asked looking at
Dinah who was smiling at the continued charade. “That’s ok. She
can make it up to me later.” Dinah raised her eyebrow
suggestively at Lauren as they all turned to leave the class. “Ok
so…firstly….eww….and secondly…we’re done with this yes?”
Lauren asked. “It’s getting a little weird.” “Oh don’t be like that
babe,” Dinah teased, leaning over Lauren’s shoulder as they
excited the class and made their way into the hallway. “Seriously
this is getting weird,” Lauren said as Ally waved a quick goodbye
and left to go in the opposite direction. “You know that’s how I
like it,” Dinah said, dropping her voice so that it sounded as
seductive as she could make it. Camila made a face, raising one
 eyebrow at Dinah who, on seeing it stood up quickly. “Yeah ok, it
just got weird.” She acknowledged and waved goodbye to head
towards her next class. Outside of Camila’s health class Lauren
removed her arm from around her girlfriends’ neck and Camila
turned to face her. Camila reached up to hold the front of
Lauren’s sweater in her hands, playing with the material slightly
before lifting her gaze and biting her lip in that way which Lauren
both hated and loved at the same time. “I’ll see you at lunch
then,” Camila said stepping closer to Lauren, her gaze dropping to
the floor momentarily before she looked up and added as
seductively as she could muster, “babe.” Lauren smiled, the word
sounding much better when it was said in Camila’s raspy tone.
She kissed Camila on the lips. “I’m looking forward to our ‘date,’”
she said. “You should be,” Camila replied playfully. “I’ll be there.”
“Minus Dinah’s mannerisms?” Lauren asked. “I can’t make any
promises but there’s a very good chance she’ll be gone by then,”
Camila answered, trying to keep a straight face. Camila stood up
on her tiptoes slightly, pulling Lauren’s face towards her own by
placing a hand on the back of her neck to connect their lips.
“Mmmm…” Lauren moaned. “Who knew Dinah was such a good
kisser?” Lauren asked jokingly and Camila slapped her on the
backside playfully before turning around and disappearing into
class. Lauren watched her go before making her way to her own
class, already mentally counting down the seconds until her and
Camila would be reunited again.
 Chapter 23
Lauren walked up the now familiar path towards Camila’s front
door, pausing momentarily before it to ring the bell. She could
hear the sound of loud footsteps descending the stairs noisily,
followed by a large thud and then a muttered curse. Lauren made
a face as she heard it and then the front door opened quickly,
rattling her slightly as a rather flustered looking Camila appeared
on the other side. “Problem?” Lauren asked amused as Camila
beckoned her into the house with a wave. She was bent in two
and slightly out of breath. Camila pushed herself up into standing,
resting both her hands on her knees to assist and closed the door
behind Lauren who now stood in the hall. “I just almost fell down
the stairs,” Camila told her seriously. “My whole life flashed
before my eyes….” She lifted her gaze to look at Lauren who was
watching her in fascination. “Again,” Camila added after a
moment a small smile creeping on to her lips at the awful attempt
at a joke. “Ahh,” Lauren said a wide grin spreading across her
face. “There’s my girlfriend.” She reached out to take Camila’s
hand in her own as she said, “I guess you and Dinah found a way
to switch back huh?” “Yeah,” Camila replied a playful glint in her
eyes. “You do not want to know what I had to go through to get
rid of her….presence” She said, pausing for a moment to consider
the right word to use. “Presence.” Camila lifted her hand out of
Lauren’s to wave it in front of her dismissively. “Let’s just say that
it consisted of drinking an extremely odd tasting concoction she
 created.” Camila informed her. “Ifeel like you kind of liked it
though,” Lauren responded knowingly. “I never said it was awful,”
Camila acknowledged. “It was just weird…I can drink weird.”
“Would you drink it again?” Lauren asked her laughing. “Of
course,” Camila replied deadly serious. “So where is Dinah?”
Lauren asked. “Ithought she was getting ready here?” “She’s
upstairs,” Camila said as she turned to make her way back over to
the bottom of the stairs. She held on to the bannister as she
called up to her friend. “Dinah!” Camila shouted. “Lauren’s here!
Let’s go!” Lauren raised her eyebrow at Camila as she made her
way back over to her. “You seem different,” she said trying to put
her finger on what had changed. “Have you taken something?”
Lauren asked her. Camila pulled on the waistband of Lauren’s
jeans, tugging her closer to her and kissing her on the lips in
greeting. “No more than usual,” she said as they parted and she
winked mischievously at Lauren as she made her way over the
coat rack to collect her brown leather jacket.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 2/14 “Did they change your anti-
depressants?” Lauren asked as Camila shrugged it on over her
shoulders. “No,” Camila said laughing as she pulled her hair out of
the back of it and swept the long locks over to one side, “I’m just
excited, that’s all.” She said honestly as Dinah appeared. Lauren
waved at Dinah in greeting from where she stood. “Hey,” Dinah
said returning the gesture as she started to descend the stairs in
what was a much more elegant fashion then Camila probably had.
“Has she been like this since I dropped you both off after school?”
Lauren asked Dinah pointing at Camila with her right hand.
“Pretty much,” Dinah confirmed. “I think it might have something
to do with all the sugar that I put in her drink.” “Oh come on
guys,” Camila protested. “This is going to be fun! I’m allowed to
be excited, aren’t I?” “There’s excited,” Dinah noted stepping
down the last step and into the hall, “and then there’s you Mila,”
she laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite this….perky,”
Lauren said studying her girlfriend closely. Camila was practically
radiating happiness and Lauren could not argue that it was a very
good look for her. “Ooh wait here a minute,” Camila said ignoring
them both and running up the stairs, her hand holding onto the
bannister tightly as she went in order to prevent herself from
falling over. “No seriously,” Lauren said pointing up the stairs after
Camila into the space her girlfriend had just vacated. “What’s
going on?” “Don’t question it,” Dinah said, pulling on her own
coat and fastening it up securely, a wide smile on her lips. “I
haven’t seen Camila this animated in over six months.” Dinah
admitted. “Trust me. You don’t question the good days Lauren.
You embrace them.” She paused to cast a quick glance up the
stairs. “You embrace them and you hope that they’re here to
stay.” Lauren smiled at Dinah’s words. “You’re happy,” she stated
in understanding. “I’m happy,” Dinah agreed. “It’s nice to have
the old Camila back,” Dinah shared with Lauren. “Even if it is only
 for today.” “I agree,” Lauren decided as Camila appeared at the
top of the stairs, her hands hidden behind her back secretively.
Lauren smiled up at her and she returned the gesture, Camila’s
lips turning up into a broad grin which reached her eyes and made
them sparkle. “I got you something,” Camila said as she slowly
made her way down the stairs being careful not to slip. “What?”
Lauren said stepping over to the stairs just as Camila stepped onto
the bottom step. “Why?” she asked. “Just because I wanted to,”
Camila told her, twisting from side to side, her hands still hidden
behind her back. Camila stood slightly higher than Lauren in her
current position on the step and Lauren found it disconcerting to
be looking up at her girlfriend, the change unfamiliar. “Close your
eyes,” Camila told her simply and Lauren did as she was
instructed. “Ok,” Camila said after a seconds pause. “Now open
them.” Lauren obeyed; opening her eyes which fell almost
instantly on Camila’s outstretched hands. In one she held a small
handful of wildflowers which she’d seemingly picked out of her
garden and in the other she held a jar of Nutella, both had a red
bow tied delicately around them. “Aww…” Lauren said taking the
two gifts from Camila and smelling the flowers quickly. “Thanks
babe.” She said gratefully.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 3/14 “You’re welcome,” Camila replied
stepping down onto the hall floor so that she was once again a
few inches shorter than Lauren. Lauren held her arms out and
 Camila stepped forward so that she could embrace her in an
appreciative hug. Camila put her arms around Lauren,
reciprocating the gesture as Lauren dropped her face and they
kissed contentedly for a moment. “No one has ever given me
flowers before,” Lauren noted as she admired the small bouquet
in her hand happily once they’d parted. “What about Nutella?”
Camila asked taking the jar out of Lauren’s hand so she could
open her bag to put it safely in. Lauren took the jar back and
placed it inside her bag carefully before closing her bag again.
“No, I can honestly say that no one has ever bought me a jar of
Nutella,” Lauren replied, her smile still firmly in place and her
cheeks already starting to ache from it. “It’s your favourite right?”
Camila asked uncertainly. “Yeah,” Lauren confirmed. “Great,”
Camila said as she took hold of Lauren’s hand and directed her
towards the door. Lauren cast a look at Dinah who’d been
watching the interaction with a satisfied look on her face. She
smiled at Lauren as Camila opened the front door and the smaller
girl disappeared over the threshold, pulling Lauren outside with
her. Dinah followed, closing the door in their stead. “Where are
we going?” Lauren asked as Camila started to lead her up the road
and away from where her car was parked. “Ally’s house,” Camila
told her cheerfully. “She’s driving us all together.” “Oh is that
right?” Lauren asked amused. “Well, I would have liked to have
driven,” Camila stated simply, “but unfortunately I can’t because
of my seizures…” “Don’t forget your lack of a license,” Lauren said
 playfully. “Or your inability to drive,” Dinah chuckled. “All valid
points,” Camila responded as they made their way up the path to
Ally’s front door, Camila’s right hand intertwined with Lauren’s
left, the small bouquet of flowers in her girlfriends’ right. “So do I
at least get an idea where we’re going?” Lauren asked her as she
rang Ally’s bell. “Not yet,” Camila answered as the door opened.
Normani and Ally exited quickly as Camila stepped off the front
step and out of the way. Ally firmly closed the front door behind
her and pulled her car keys out of her purse. “Hi,” they greeted in
unison and Camila smiled at them in response, Lauren raising
their entwined hands up in a small wave. “Hey,” Dinah said from
her position slightly behind Lauren and Camila. “So is everyone
ready?” Ally asked and they all nodded in the affirmative. “Then
let’s go,” Ally said leading the small group along the drive to her
car. She unlocked it with her key fob and hastily climbed in to the
drivers’ seat, Normani taking the empty one on the passenger
side. The remaining three girls descended into the back of the car,
Camila taking the middle seat, Lauren and Dinah on either side of
her. Lauren placed her bouquet of flowers on the parcel shelf
covering the boot of the car so that they were safely out of the
way and took Camila’s hand in hers as Ally pulled the car out of
her drive and turned onto the street. Lauren frowned in confusion
as she listened to the music coming out of Ally’s stereo system.
“This isn’t Justin Timberlake,” Lauren stated after a moment. “It’s
Lana Del Rey.” “Yeah,” Ally said turning her head to glance over
 her shoulder at Lauren, a smirk on her face.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 4/14 “You only ever play NSYNC or Justin
Timberlake in your car Ally,” Lauren said. “You’re like, strangely
obsessed. In fact, it’s mostly just ‘Mirrors’ on repeat half the
time.” “Well, Ithought I’d change it for once,” Ally said casually.
“Why do Ifeel like this has something to do with you?” Lauren
asked turning to Camila. “Maybe because it does,” Normani said
from the passenger seat, smiling at Lauren as she looked over her
shoulder at her in the back of the car. “You convinced Ally to give
up her stereo rights to play something someone else likes to listen
to?” Lauren asked Camila surprised. “How did you do that? She’s
so possessive of her car stereo, like, she’s hit me multiple times
for trying to mess with it.” Lauren paused for a moment before
adding pointedly. “Hard.” “I made a deal with her,” Camila said.
“Oh God,” Lauren said. “You didn’t sell her your soul did you?”
“You’re assuming Camila has one to begin with,” Dinah chuckled
and Camila laughed a little in response. “No,” Camila answered
Lauren’s previously asked question, lightly chuckling. “Then what
deal did you make?” Lauren asked interestedly. “I’m not telling
you,” Camila said firmly. “Why not?” Lauren moaned intrigued.
“It’s between me and Ally,” Camila replied simply. “They’re
trading sexual favours,” Normani said bluntly and Dinah burst out
into hysterical laughter in response. “It’s true,” Camila teased.
“It’s the only thing she’d accept in return for playing some Lana
 for you. It’s a good thing I like you.” She mocked. “I don’t just
trade sexual favours for anyone you know.” “Well,” Lauren said
smiling at how adorably silly and giddy Camila was this afternoon.
“I appreciate it.” She leant over and kissed her on the lips and
Camila reached her hand up to brush the side of Lauren’s cheek.
Lauren felt the edge of Camila’s splint as her hand moved, the
Velcro strap scratching her slightly, another small reminder that
as much as her girlfriend appeared to be back to some semblance
of herself preaccident, she still wasn’t one hundred percent
recovered. “For anyone that’s keeping count that’s twice I’ve had
to witness this,” Dinah said from her position in the back. “Oh
shush,” Ally scolded her laughing. “You’re the biggest Camren
shipper out of everyone. Just admit that you find it adorable.” “I
will not,” Dinah said as Camila and Lauren finally separated. “Can I
get you guys anything?” she offered the two of them helpfully.
“You know, maybe an oxygen tank? Or perhaps a mint or
something?” “I could use a mint,” Lauren accepted, holding out
her hand ready and laughing. Dinah rolled her eyes playfully. “Get
your own mint,” Dinah told her not actually having any on her.
“You know,” Camila said reaching into her coat pocket. “Ithink I’ve
got a mint.” “Are you kidding me?” Dinah asked incredulously as
Camila handed one to Lauren. She took it gratefully and popped it
into her mouth, flashing Dinah a smug smile before kissing Camila
again. Ally laughed out loud as she took in Dinah’s expression
from a quick glance in the rear view mirror. “You know this is all
 our fault right guys?” Ally said, still laughing lightheartedly. “
“What?” Normani asked. “How is this our fault?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 5/14 “We’ve spent so long making them
feel uncomfortable and awkward with our suggestive comments
and wellplaced innuendos that now they’re just making us feel
uncomfortable by flaunting their PDA in front of us.” Ally said.
“Actually that isn’t it,” Lauren said her voice breathy as she finally
relinquished her hold on Camila’s mouth. She turned around in
her seat to face forward, her hand still firmly grasping Camila’s
hand. “It’s not?” Normani asked laughing as she turned around to
face Lauren who was sat behind her. “No,” Lauren said. “Although
now I’m kind of considering it for the future,” she mused. “So
then what is it?” Dinah asked Lauren interestedly. “You know that
feeling that you probably get when you kiss Siope?” Lauren asked
her. “Or Arin for that matter…or Troy…” she added for the other’s
benefit. “The one where your stomach churns with butterflies and
you feel your cheeks hurt because you’re smiling into it so much.
The kind of kiss that elates you and confuses you all at once
because it’s stupid, how one simple gesture can make you feel so
happy that you think your chest is going to burst.” Dinah didn’t
say anything; instead she just swallowed hard and waited for
Lauren to continue. “That’s why I’m doing it,” Lauren informed
them all, “because I have the opportunity to make myself happy
in the simplest way possible and I’m going to take it.” “It also
 makes me happy,” Camila added for their information. “I mean,
its’ people helping other people so, it’s basically a public service
really.” Dinah’s face broke into an expression which betrayed how
adorable she found the pair of them and she shared a few quick
looks with Normani and Ally, who were wearing similar
countenances to herself, before saying kindly, “Oh my God, will
you two just kiss again already. Jesus, I admit it. I ship you two so
hard it physically hurts me sometimes.” Lauren looked at Camila,
a question in her eyes before dipping her head to kiss her again
for a third time as the car came to a gentle stop. Lauren lifted her
gaze, separating from Camila to look at their destination, a small
smile creeping on to her lips as she took it in. “You bought me to
the batting cages?” Lauren asked happily. “I’ll finally be able to
see you play,” Camila said clapping her hands together in
excitement. “Well, sort of.” She added. “I haven’t picked up a bat
since the summer,” Lauren said wistfully. “It’s all conditioning
work at training until the new year.” “So it’s ok?” Camila asked.
“Yeah it’s ok,” Lauren replied merrily. “I love this place. My dad
used to bring me down here all the time when I was growing up
and he’d teach me how to hold the bat and swing it properly to
get a good hit on the ball. It was one of my favourite places
growing up.” Lauren looked at the others who were watching her
keenly. “I guess that sounds kind of lame doesn’t it?” She asked.
“No,” Ally said. “I don’t think it does,” Dinah agreed with Ally.
“I’ve actually never been to one of these places before. It’ll be
 fun.” “Me neither,” Camila said as the girls’ excited Ally’s car and
began to make their way to the main building. “You’ve never
played before?” Lauren asked her, their hands still entangled as
the entered the reception area, Ally, Dinah and Normani trailing
behind them a little. “Nope,” Camila admitted. “I’ve never really
been good at sports.” “Surprising,” Lauren noted sarcastically,
causing Camila to smile.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 6/14 The man behind the desk finished
serving his last customer and turned to Lauren, who he was
seemingly familiar with. He broke out into a broad smile on seeing
Lauren standing before him and asked her how her dad was
doing, noting that he’d not seem him around much recently.
Lauren informed him that her dad had just gotten a new
promotion at work and so had been busy, but she promised that
she’d tell him that he’d asked after him. The man, who, as the rest
of the group soon learnt was called Jake, kindly set the girls up in
a couple of adjacent batting cages, leaving Lauren to explain how
everything worked, herself having been a regular here over the
years. She taught the others how to use the machines and where
to stand before they commenced their somewhat haphazard
attempts at trying to make some hits. Dinah, Normani and Ally
shared one cage whilst Lauren and Camila shared the other.
Camila stood outside the cage, watching Lauren enthusiastically
from behind as she hit ball after ball, her bat connecting with the
 small white projectile cleanly and efficiently, sending it soaring
through the air and back in the direction that it had come from
with a satisfying crack. Camila admired the way that Lauren’s
body automatically assumed what was probably a wellrehearsed
and perfected stance, her arms preparing themselves reflexively
for each new ball that was launched in her direction. Camila
relished the look of concentration on Lauren’s face and how she
savoured the feel of the bat in her hands as though it were an
extension of her own arms. “Oh yeah!” Dinah shouted cockily
having hit a particularly good return. She crouched low again and
brought the bat back up behind her, moving it in small circles as
she awaited the next ball. Dinah swung it round as soon as the
next ball was released from the machine and her bat collided with
the newest object once again, propelling it forwards and away
from her. Lauren used the end of the bat to stop her own machine
for a moment, twisting to face Camila who had turned to watch
Dinah next door, her attention drawn there at the loud cheers and
excitement that had come from her friend. “Do you want a go?”
Lauren asked as she observed Camila, who had a satisfied smile
on her face at the sight of their friends enjoying themselves.
Camila turned back to face Lauren and shook her head slightly,
declining her offer. “Really?” Lauren asked stepping back towards
the wire fence which separated them. “Then why did we come
here?” Lauren asked her, the bat still in one hand as she closed
the fingers of the other around the small gaps in the fence,
 leaning into it a little in order to close the distance between her
and Camila. “For you,” Camila commented happily stepping
forward a little as well and reaching for Lauren’s fingers through
the fence. “This date wasn’t about me…it’s my ‘thank you’
remember? You look like you’re having fun. I don’t want to get in
the way of that,” she finished. “I’m fine honestly.” Lauren shook
her head, a large grin spreading across her features. “Oh no,”
Lauren said, stepping towards the gate and opening it quickly. She
grabbed Camila’s wrist gently and pulled her towards her, into the
cage. “You are definitely going to have a go Camz,” Lauren
finished as the gate closed behind her. “I don’t know,” Camila
began to protest, but Lauren had already removed the helmet
from her head and placed it on top of hers, fiddling with it for a
moment to make sure it was secure. “I really don’t think I’ll be any
good.” Camila said as Lauren handed her the bat and stepped to
the side. “It’s easy,” Lauren told her. “You just, face the front
there and hold up the bat ready,” Lauren continued to explain.
“When the ball is released, swing the bat back and hit it.” Camila
gave Lauren a dubious look. “Just like that,” Camila returned,
doubtful that it would be so easy, especially with her co-
ordination. “In theory,” Lauren said laughing a little at Camila’s
reluctance. “You’ll be fine,” she said after a moment when Camila
continued to look at her unsure. “Trust me babe.” She finished.
Camila made a face before turning to face the front of the cage.
Ally, Dinah and Normani had all stopped next door for a moment
 to watch Camila’s first attempt with interest, no doubt piling the
pressure on the smaller girl by adding a larger audience.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 7/14 Camila held the bat up awkwardly,
mimicking the stance that she’d seen Lauren assume earlier.
Camila’s left her left wrist struggled to grip the bat firmly, her
fingers stiff with the splint in its normal place supporting it. “Are
you ready?” Lauren asked and Camila gave her a small nod, an
uneasy look on her face. “Come on Mila,” Dinah encouraged from
next door and Normani added, “You can do it.” “Yeah come on
Camila,” Ally cheered. Lauren hit the button to restart the
machine and Camila waited patiently until the ‘whoosh’ of air and
subsequent thump which indicated the ball had been released
could be heard. Camila swung the bat as hard as she could,
missing the ball as it soared into the fencing behind her, the bat
slipping from her hands slightly and flying onto the floor a few
feet in front of her. Lauren stopped the machine by pressing the
button once more, Camila momentarily disorientated by the
helmet which had slipped forward on her head to cover her eyes.
Lauren stepped over to her girlfriend and pushed the helmet out
of her eyes carefully so that it was no longer obscuring her vision.
Camila reached up with her own hand to make sure that it was
back in place properly, giving Lauren a sheepish smile. “Itold you I
wouldn’t be any good,” Camila said sadly and Lauren made a face
in return. “You should have me the first time I tried to hit a ball,”
 Lauren told her seriously, bending down to retrieve the bat from
the floor. “I accidentally smacked my dad in the face with it.” She
laughed at the memory. “He had a black eye for a week.” “Yeah
Mila,” Dinah buoyed from next door. “If Ally can hit a ball then
anyone can. Have you seen the size of her? All logic says she
should suck at this.” “Hey,” Ally protested and Camila laughed at
her friends attempts at reassurance. “You just need a bit more
practice,” Lauren told her handing her the bat again. “You can’t
give up after one try.” “Ok,” Camila replied and Lauren gave her a
quick peck on the lips in support before moving off to the side
again. She pressed the button and the machine stirred back to life
sending first one, then two, then three balls in Camila’s direction,
none of which she managed to hit. Camila frowned in
disappointment as she continued to try and hit the balls, her face
betraying her emotion. Lauren stopped the machine again to
approach Camila. “You’re doing great,” she reassured her
girlfriend. “You haven’t dropped the bat again.” She told her
positively. “That’s a start right?” “I haven’t hit the ball though
either,” Camila returned. “Am I holding this right?” she asked. “It
feels awkward.” “Take your splint off,” Lauren told her seriously.
“It’s stopping you from positioning your wrist properly.” Camila
did as she was instructed and handed the splint to Lauren who
put it in her back pocket. “Ok, now face the front.” Lauren
instructed and Camila obeyed, taking up a ready stance. Lauren
reached her arms around Camila’s torso and took hold of her
 hands, helping her to position the bat properly. She felt her face
flush when Camila turned to look at her with a broad smile on her
face. “Here try that,” Lauren said returning the smile and taking
her hands off Camila’s before moving back and starting the
machine again. “Come on,” Dinah encouraged still watching from
next door. “Just imagine the ball is someone you’re pissed at,”
Dinah told her. “That’s what I’ve been doing.” Lauren raised her
eyebrow questioningly. “I’m imagining its Rachel,” Dinah told her
winking and Lauren laughed just as a ball sailed through the air
towards Camila.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 8/14 Camila pulled the bat back and shifted
it back quickly to try and hit it, missing it only by a few
centimetres. “That was better,” Lauren praised. “You almost had
that one.” Camila smiled but returned to her starting position
again quickly, her brow furrowing in concentration, her tongue
poking out the side of her mouth slightly. She missed the next few
balls but on the fourth, her bat made contact with the small white
missile with a substantial thud and sent it hurtling back out into
the space before her. “I did it!” Camila shouted ecstatically,
jumping up and down on the spot animatedly. Lauren stopped the
machine quickly as her girlfriend threw her hands up into the air
in celebration, spinning around on the spot to look at Lauren and
the rest of their friends who were cheering loudly from next door.
“Did you see that!?” Camila asked Lauren turning back to her a
 massive grin on her face. “I actually hit it! I did it!” “I know!”
Lauren replied joyfully. “I know babe I saw it!” Camila bounced
forwards towards Lauren. “I can’t believe I did it!” Camila said
exuberantly and she laughed; that light, elated laugh which made
Lauren’s stomach flutter whenever she heard it. “See I told you
that you just needed a bit more practice.” Lauren said and Camila
jumped up and kissed her, dropping the bat on the floor as she
threw her arms around Lauren’s neck. The helmet on Camila’s
head knocked against Lauren’s temple as their lips crashed
together and Lauren couldn’t help but smile in to the kiss,
enjoying every second of Camila’s happiness. “Can I have another
go?” Camila asked excitedly once they’d parted and Lauren
nodded in response. “Of course,” she replied and Camila bent
down hurriedly to retrieve the bat, bounding back in to position as
Lauren started the machine once again. As the minutes passed,
Dinah, Ally and Normani returned to their own machine, taking it
in turns to hit the ball and becoming increasingly competitive with
each change. Camila continued her own battle against the
mechanical pitcher until her arms ached, hitting the ball
sporadically but her coordination improving with every swing.
Lauren watched Camila contentedly from her position, enjoying
Camila’s mood and absorbing the intoxicating effects it had on her
own. She observed Camila until she finally stopped, relinquishing
the bat to Lauren, her arms tired and aching but her face
energetic and lively. The girls’ stayed at the batting cages for just
 over an hour and a half, Jake disregarding the normal thirty
minute limit because it was quiet and he knew Lauren and her
family personally. After they’d finished they all crowded back in to
Ally’s car and made their way to the next stop. “That was so much
fun,” Dinah said delightedly from her seat. “It was kind of
therapeutic as well.” Ally added, her attention fixed firmly on the
road in front of her. “I know right?” Normani agreed. “Can we do
it again sometime?” Dinah asked the group. “Definitely,” Ally said
enthusiastically as Normani answered, “Yes.” “Guys?” Dinah
asked turning to Camila and Lauren who were once again kissing.
She rolled her eyes but laughed at the sight. “Guys….” She said
drawing out the word and increasing in volume towards the end
of it. Lauren separated from Camila to face Dinah. “Sorry,” she
said having not really heard what Dinah had said. “Don’t be
sorry,” Dinah grinned in response. “Just tell me we can go back
and do that again.” She finished. “Oh I want to!” Camila replied
excitedly, clapping her hands together and frowning slightly. “It’s
here,” Lauren said reaching into her back pocket to pull out
Camila’s splint, reading her girlfriend’s mind. She handed the
splint to Camila and helped her put it on, securing
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 9/14 the Velcro in place tightly. “Thanks,”
Camila said gratefully before reiterating, “can we go again? That
was so much fun…well, once I could actually hit it.” “Sure we can
babe,” Lauren told her smiling brightly and tucking a strand of hair
out of Camila’s eyes. “If you tell me where we’re going next?” she
added playfully. Camila smiled and glanced at the rest of the girl’s
in the car. “For food of course,” Camila said simply. “Where else?”
she added rhetorically. “Of course, I should have known” Lauren
chuckled before asking. “Where exactly are we going for food?”
“Jimmy’s diner,” Camila told her as Ally turned onto another
street. “I love that place,” Lauren said enthusiastically, “but you
already knew that didn’t you?” she asked on seeing the
excitement on Camila’s face at her reaction. “You might have
mentioned it a few times,” Camila replied linking her arm with
Lauren’s. “They do amazing burgers there,” Dinah commented.
“Oooh and hot wings,” she added thoughtfully. “You can’t have
the hot wings,” Camila told her laughing. “Not without starting
the hot wing challenge…” “Maybe I’ll start it,” Dinah interceded.
“Perhaps it’s time it was revived. It’s been a while.” “The hot wing
challenge?” Normani asked from her position in the passenger
seat as Ally turned another corner. “It’s exactly what it sounds
like,” Dinah told her. “See who can eat the most wings without
needing to drink any water.” “How come we’ve never done that?”
Normani asked Ally and Lauren who both shrugged in response.
“Ok, well I think it’s definitely game on then guys.” She said
turning back to Dinah. “You’re going to lose. I’m extremely
competitive.” “You won’t have trouble beating Dinah,” Camila
told her. “She’s rubbish.” “Excuse me,” Dinah said defensively.
“The nerve…I beat you that one time.” “I was choking,” Camila
 protested. “I needed to drink some water to clear my throat or I
would have died. You won by default because of that. You’ve
never actually eaten more than me.” “You have the appetite of a
person five times your size,” Dinah laughed. “No one has ever
actually eaten more than you. Period.” Camila dropped her jaw
feigning surprise but laughed despite her best efforts not to as
Lauren pulled into Jimmy’s parking lot. The girls’ all got out of the
car and made their way inside the diner, Lauren and Camila hand
in hand, Dinah with her arm linked with Camila’s free one. They
were seated in one of the booths and handed a menu to look at,
each ordering a cola to drink whilst they decided what food to
get. “Really?” Normani said making a disgusted face and looking
at the door where Rachel, David, his girlfriend and a couple of
other people were entering. “What are the odds?” “Pretty high,”
Camila commented, taking a sip of her soda. “Everyone loves this
place.” “I’d love it a lot more if they weren’t here,” Normani
commented dryly. “Me too,” Lauren and Dinah agreed together.
“Just ignore them,” Camila said positively. “Don’t let them spoil
our afternoon.” “Uh oh,” Ally said under her breath and Rachel
spotted them and made her way over to the table, the rest of her
group watching with interest from where they’d been seated.
“She’s coming over.” “Bit hard to ignore her now,” Normani said
in frustration.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 10/14 “Hi guys,” Rachel greeted
 overenthusiastically and Lauren responded by glaring in return
whilst the others smiled halfheartedly. The only person who
vocalised a response was Camila who said, “Hi,” and lifted her
hand. “Fancy running in to you here,” Rachel observed. “Small
world huh?” “Too small sometimes,” Lauren replied. “Don’t be a
bitch Lauren, it doesn’t suit you.” Rachel commented before
turning to Camila. “I don’t know it works for you,” Lauren
responded. “Lauren,” Camila scolded slightly, placing a hand on
her arm. “Sorry,” Lauren apologised. “Thanks Camila,” Rachel said
appreciatively. “It’s nice to know that someone here has some
manners.” “Ithink you should go back to your friends Rachel,”
Camila told her seriously. “Aww, but I came over to talk to you,”
Rachel said fluttering her eyelashes at Camila and causing Lauren
to tense up protectively. “Your friends are over there,” Camila
said pointing towards David and the others. “Acquaintances,”
Rachel clarified, referring back to the conversation that they’d had
in French class. “Acquaintances.” Camila noted in response. “Look
Rachel, I’m really trying not to just come out and say it,” Camila
said abstractedly and Rachel looked confused for a moment. “Say
what?” she asked. “I want you to go away,” Camila told her
simply. Rachel looked slightly surprised by Camila’s bluntness but
quickly recovered herself keeping up her front. “Why?” she asked
teasingly. “Are you finding it hard to keep your hands off me?”
Rachel asked. “Kind of,” Camila replied and Lauren looked at her
with an amused expression on her face in understanding. “I have
 an anger management problem…” Camila clarified, “but, you
know that. I mean, you’ve seen it, you were in the cafeteria on
Monday…” Camila trailed off throwing a meaningful glance
towards David who was sat watching the interaction with interest.
“Look you don’t have to pretend just because your girlfriend is
here,” Rachel said trying to save face. “You were definitely flirting
with me in French,” she continued in an attempt to stir trouble.
Camila tilted her head slightly and frowned as Dinah burst out
laughing at Rachel’s suggestion. “What’s so funny?” Rachel asked
turning her attention to her. “Camila cannot flirt,” Dinah said still
chuckling, Ally and Normani joining in. “Well, she could
yesterday.” Rachel told them. “No really,” Dinah said still
laughing, irritating Rachel. “She couldn’t flirt if her life depended
on it, besides, she couldn’t even speak properly yesterday
morning.” “It’s kind of hard to flirt without the power of speech,”
Normani noted, making a face. “Don’t you think?” “Actually,”
Camila said standing up, “I need to use the restroom.” She
continued and Rachel tried again to cause trouble between her
and Lauren. “I’ll meet you there in five minutes,” Rachel said,
raising an eyebrow at Lauren who was still glaring at her angrily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 11/14 Camila sighed heavily and Lauren
could sense the irritation in her body language, her attempts to
be polite failing to rid them of Rachel’s presence without being
nasty. Camila looked at Rachel, tilting her head again for an
 instant before shuffling in front of Lauren to pass her and vacate
the booth, her back facing the other girls and the table, her eyes
locking on Lauren’s. “You’re eager,” Rachel commented, feeling
the power shift back to her. “No need to rush Camila, I’ll come
with you if you’re that desperate.” Camila sighed again, rolling her
eyes in annoyance before perching on the table behind her and
bending forward. She put both hands behind Lauren’s head and
pulled her close to crash their lips together. Lauren was surprised
to begin with, her eyes widening in shock but, as Camila slid off
the table slightly and knelt on to the booth seat either side of her
legs, straddling her, Lauren deepened the kiss even further,
relaxing into it. Lauren closed her eyes as she reached her arms
around Camila’s back, one hand falling down to her buttocks, the
other between her shoulder blades as she pulled Camila into her
further, their tongues lashing at each other heatedly in their
mouths. Camila moved her hand to cup the side of Lauren’s face,
brushing at the skin there tenderly with her thumb as she sucked
gently on Lauren’s tongue. With her other hand, Camila reached
under Lauren’s shirt, pushing it up and exposing her abdomen a
little as she rubbed the side of her chest just beneath her bra
strap. Camila pushed her chest in to Lauren’s, shifting her pelvis
forward slightly and forcing her girlfriend against the back of the
booth. Camila separated their mouths, moving her own down to
Lauren’s ear and whispering, “You can kill me for that later,”
before sucking lightly on the spot between the bottom of Lauren’s
 ear and her jaw. Lauren looked at Camila as she stood up again.
She felt slightly disorientated, her chest heaving rapidly as she
tried to catch her breath, her pupils dilated and her lips swollen as
her eyes followed Camila out of the booth. Camila came to a stop
before Rachel who had a stunned expression on her face, her
mouth opened wide, seemingly rendered speechless by what
she’d just seen. “That’s ok,” Camila told Rachel who was still
looking at her astonished. “You should probably just go back to
your acquaintances,” Camila said emphasizing the word before
stepping past her to make her way to the restroom. Lauren
watched Camila disappear, her eyes wide in disbelief at what had
just happened, still slightly dazed. She glanced over to Ally,
Normani and Dinah who all shared similarly perplexed and
bewildered expressions, Normani’s mouth mirroring Rachel’s as it
stood agape. “Well,” Dinah finally managed to say, breaking the
stunned silence that had fallen over all of them. “I guess she really
does know how to flirt.” Lauren swallowed hard still
dumbfounded by Camila’s actions a few moments ago. She
cleared her throat as she replied; “Uh…yeah…right…” she said
trying to formulate a coherent sentence. Dinah turned to Rachel
who was looking at Lauren. “So,” Dinah said getting her wits back.
“Did she do that with you in French class?” she asked and Rachel
turned to look at her in annoyance, defeated. “Enjoy your dinner,”
she practically spat as she turned on her heels to go back to her
friends. “Lauren already did,” Normani called after her and both
 Dinah and Ally chuckled in response as Rachel glared at them.
Dinah nudged Normani as they turned back to face Lauren. “Lo,”
Normani chuckled watching her friend who was glancing over her
shoulder in the direction of the restrooms. “Earth to Lo,” Normani
continued when she didn’t answer. “Yo…Lauren,” Dinah said her
tone loud. “Yeah,” Lauren said breathily turning back to face the
others. She shook her head slightly as though trying to clear her
vision. “Tell me more about being a lesbian,” Dinah said feigning
seriousness as she leant her elbows on to the table. Ally and
Normani laughed at Dinah’s words and the look of confusion on
Lauren’s face. “That was…strangely hot,” Dinah laughed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/61987869807/trialsand-
tribulationschapter23 12/14 “You’re telling me,” Lauren managed
to express between breaths as she glanced back over her shoulder
towards the restroom. “Jesus.” She breathed. In the restroom,
Camila had just finished washing her hands when she felt
something irritate the bottom of her nose, a warm liquid leaking
from the right nostril. She wiped at it with the back of her hand
assuming it was just a runny nose, but, she raised her eyebrows in
alarm, a panic welling up within her at the sight of the dark
crimson smear against her skin. She raised her eyes to the mirror,
watching as another drop of blood ran down onto her top lip and
she reached for a piece of tissue hurriedly, tilting her head
forward and holding it firmly against her nose as she pinched the
bridge of it tightly. “Shit,” she muttered her vision going blurry for
just an instant so that she had to lean back against the sink behind
her for support. She stayed like that for a few minutes, before
lowering the tissue and looking back in the mirror once more.
“Shit,” she said again as blood continued to escape from her
nostril and she reached for another tissue, the previous one
already drenched with blood. “Come on,” she willed, tilting her
head forward again and covering her nose once more as she
pinched the bridge between her fingers. “Don’t do this to me
now,” Camila said raising her head and removing the tissue again.
She studied herself in the mirror once more, waiting. When no
further bleeding occurred, Camila sighed in relief and quickly
cleaned beneath her nose to remove any sign that something
untoward had happened. She checked her appearance in the
mirror briefly, concerned about the cause of the nosebleed but
more worried about the prospect of having to see yet another
doctor. She threw the soiled tissue into the trash can and
hurriedly left the restroom, joining Lauren and the others, her
girlfriend scooting over to make room for her on the seat. “You
were gone for a while,” Lauren noted, after kissing Camila on the
lips in greeting. “Is everything alright?” “Yeah fine,” Camila said
forcing a smile on to her lips and taking up Lauren’s hand in her
own to squeeze it reassuringly. “Have you ordered yet?” she
asked picking up the menu with her other hand and perusing it
mindlessly, already knowing what she was having. “Not yet,”
Lauren said raising her other hand to beckon the waitress. “We
 were waiting for you.” “You guys ready to order?” The waitress
asked and they all nodded in response, taking it in turns to order
their food. Once the waitress had left Dinah leaned over the table
furtively. “So,” Dinah started seriously addressing Camila. “Can we
please talk about where you learnt how to do that?” Camila
smiled at Dinah’s question. “Oh,” she said putting all thoughts of
her nosebleed behind her and moving on. “I just watched your
mom making out with the postman.” She joked straightfaced.
Dinah dropped her jaw at Camila’s comeback before bursting out
laughing along with the other girls, Camila watching amusedly as
she took a sip of her drink. A/N: Ok guys….so….here it is. Sorry for
the lack of update yesterday but, you know why I didn’t manage
to get a new chapter to you. Anyway, it’s here now. I hope you
enjoy it. I’ve been smiling so much reading all your asks by the
way. Your feedback is always amazing so thank you
CHAPTER 24
A while later, the waitress returned with their food and a few
extra plates of hot wings that were needed for the recently
revived challenge. Dinah reiterated the rules of the competition to
Ally, Normani and Lauren who would be participating for the first
time before sharing out the wings equally amongst the five of
them ready to begin. Once the challenge started, the girls began
eating the wings, each one of them watching the others closely to
ensure that no one was cheating, keeping a firm eye on their
rivals. Ally was the first to fold after having eaten only four wings,
 her small hand reaching out for her drink desperately in an
attempt to cool her mouth which was becoming increasingly more
uncomfortable as it burned. Normani soon followed having eaten
six wings, her mouth replicating what she described as the fires of
hell it felt so hot. Dinah came in third place, quitting after
managing to eat a respectable seven hot wings. That left Lauren
and Camila to battle it out for first place, the two of them
hunched over their plates as they devoured portion after portion
of the extra hot wings. Camila glanced at Lauren beside her and
smiled smugly, noting her girlfriends’ sweaty brow and flushed
face as she continued to plough through the latest wing in her
hands. Lauren waved her hand in front of her mouth, exhaling
gently in a futile attempt to cool it after finishing the wing she’d
been eating. She looked at the plate in front of her beaten before
casting a quick glance towards her cup, the small beads of
condensation sliding down the external surface of the cup
beckoning her to drink the cold, refreshing liquid within it. Lauren
turned her head to look at Camila who was watching her
expectantly as she continued to bite at the wing in her hand, her
brow relaxed and untroubled. Camila raised her eyebrow
questioningly and Lauren raised her hand in defeat before
reaching for her cup and drinking from it thankfully, savouring the
icy soda as it passed her lips and refreshed her mouth. Camila
continued to finish the wing that she’d been eating before placing
the now empty bones back onto the plate in front of her, all
 twelve wings that she’d been given totally consumed. She licked
at her fingers pointedly and laughed at the still flushed
appearance of Lauren’s face beside her. “Are you going to finish
these?” Camila asked, pointing at the remaining few wings on
Lauren’s plate. “No,” Lauren said in response, giving Camila a
disbelieving look. “Please tell me you’re not going to eat them?”
she questioned as Camila reached over and slid the plate towards
her. “They’re good,” Camila protested, picking one of the wings
up and taking a bite. “How the hell do you do that?” Lauren asked
impressed. “My mouth literally feels like it’s on fire. I actually
think that I might have lost a layer of skin in there somewhere it
hurts so much.” “I know right?” Normani agreed taking another
large sip of her own drinking and sticking her tongue out slightly
afterwards to try and cool it further. “I stopped five minutes ago
and my mouth is still burning.” “Well, I guess its official then,”
Dinah said starting on her main course and picking at the chips in
front of her. “You’re still the undefeated hot wing challenge
champion.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 2/11 Camila lifted her fist up into the air in
celebration as she finished the last wing on Lauren’s plate and
pushed it to one side, finally reaching over to have a mouthful of
her drink. “If the worst comes to worst and I fail to finish high
school,” Camila started playfully, “at least I know that I can always
fall back on participating in eating competitions.” “As if you’re
 going to fail high school,” Dinah scoffed. “Even after your head
injury you’re still smarter than me.” “Yeah well that’s not exactly
hard,” Camila joked, winking at Dinah teasingly and her friend
smiled in response. The girls finished the rest of their food,
ignoring, as best as possible, the periodical glances from the other
side of the diner where Rachel and her group of friends were
sitting. Every so often, Lauren would see Rachel glaring at their
group, a harsh look plastered across her face especially when her
eyes fell on an unobservant Camila who was deep in conversation
with Dinah opposite her. When they’d eventually finished their
meal and settled their bill, the girls’ left the diner and piled back in
to Ally’s car to go to their last destination of the day. “So where
are we going?” Lauren asked as she played with Camila’s fingers
mindlessly in her own. “Should I prepare to dodge Rachel again?”
she added only halfjoking. “Lauren,” Camila scolded, resting her
head against the taller girls shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Lauren
apologised sincerely. “She just annoys me that’s all.” “Ithink she
annoys all of us,” Normani agreed. “I wish she’d take the hint and
just leave you two alone,” Dinah said. “That makes two of us,”
Lauren replied. She paused for a moment to look at Camila who
was staring out the windscreen seemingly lost in thought. “Which
reminds me,” she said nudging Camila slightly. “I still owe you for
that little display in there.” Camila turned her face up to look at
Lauren, not having heard what she’d said properly. “What?”
Camila asked her. “Are you ok?” Lauren countered Camila’s
 question sensing that she seemed to be a little distant since
they’d gotten back in to the car. “I’m fine,” Camila told her. “Just
thinking that’s all.” “About anything in particular?” Lauren asked
her squeezing her hand. “You can tell me.” Lauren prompted her.
“We promised to talk from now on. Remember?” “It’s nothing,”
Camila reassured her. “I’m just wondering what we’re going to do
about Rachel.” She lied; her mind preoccupied with concerns
about the nosebleed she’d suffered earlier. “I vote we kill her,”
Dinah jested. “Dinah,” Camila reprimanded sternly. “Don’t say
things like that.” “I’m only joking,” Dinah said waving her hand
dismissively. “Can we not joke about things like death and killing
people?” Camila asked her seriously. “You do it all the time,”
Dinah reminded her. “Yeah well, I’m allowed to,” Camila
answered thinking about her own mortality and whether the
nosebleed would affect it. “You get a free pass when you’ve
actually almost died.” “I almost died once,” Dinah said playfully.
“The time that you got chased by that dog in the park does not
count,” Camila told her laughing. “It was huge,” Dinah protested.
“I swear it would have eaten me if it had managed to catch me.”
“It was a border terrier,” Camila replied laughing at the memory.
“Good thing that you climbed up that tree though, otherwise that
would have been game over for sure.” Camila mocked her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 3/11 “I wish I’d seen that,” Normani said
laughing at the story. “My dad has video footage of it
somewhere,” Camila informed her. “I’ll see if I can find it for you.”
She promised. “Mila!” Dinah objected. “Come on…that is not
cool.” “We can talk,” Camila told her seriously. “Perhaps we can
strike up a deal?” “Ok,” Dinah agreed, “but I’m not trading in
sexual favours like Ally did.” “No you’re much too classy for that,”
Normani teased. “The nerve,” Dinah said feigning insult. “Going
back to the previous topic at hand,” Lauren said pulling Camila’s
chin up to look at her with her index finger. “What did you
decide?” she asked. “You know, about Rachel?” “Nothing,” Camila
sighed. “Ijust resolved to stay away from her.” “Or,” Dinah said
raising her eyebrow suggestively. “Flaunt your relationship with
Lauren in front of her.” “I vote for that,” Lauren said playfully.
“Jesus Camz,” she added. “A little bit of warning wouldn’t have
gone amiss you know.” “Sorry,” Camila apologised smiling up at
Lauren. “I didn’t really think it through. She was just annoying me
and Ifigured it was the best way to shut her up.” “Well, it
definitely did that.” Lauren chuckled. “It had a similar effect on
you as well if I recall correctly Lo,” Ally said from her position in
the drivers’ seat. Lauren made a face which showed her
agreement with Ally’s observation. “Aww…” Camila said turning
her head up to look at Lauren again. “Were you speechless?”
Camila asked her smiling brightly. “Something like that,” Lauren
told her, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on her lips. “It’s a good
thing you’re too adorable to kill.” “So I shouldn’t expect payback
any time soon?” Camila asked her. “Well I don’t know about
that,” Lauren replied a mischievous look in her eyes. “I think you’d
enjoy what I had in mind as compensation.” “Mmm…” Camila
moaned as Lauren leant down and kiss her again, her free hand
brushing the side of Camila’s cheek with the back of her fingers
lightly before reaching down and grasping the back of her neck.
“Eww…” Normani commented jokingly from her position in the
front before averting her gaze to look out of the window. Camila
shifted her body position slightly to face Lauren a little more and
Camila lifted her right leg, crossing it over her left as she twisted.
Camila felt Lauren smile at the closer proximity between them
before she parted their lips and she opened her piercing green
eyes to gaze into Camila’s deep dark brown ones which were
watching her closely. “You never did answer my question,” Lauren
noted laughing as Camila buried her face into her girlfriends’
shoulder and Lauren wrapped her arm around the smaller girls
torso. “Where are we going now?” “To the arcade,” Camila told
her. “Really?” Lauren asked her. “Really,” Camila confirmed. “Is
that ok?” “That’s great,” Lauren replied. “I love the arcade.” She
paused for a moment as she stroked the scar over Camila’s
forehead habitually with her thumb, the action strangely soothing
to her. “I hope you’re all ready for me to beat you air hockey,” she
said to the collective group. “Bring it Jauregui,” Normani
challenged from the passenger seat. “You only just beat me the
last time we played and I’ve been practicing.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter24 4/11 “You’re all talk,” Lauren told her
laughing lightly as Ally turned the corner and pulled into the
parking lot. They all vacated the car and headed into the arcade
where they wasted away the next couple of hours enjoying
themselves on the assorted games. Lauren beat them all at air
hockey, defeating Camila numerous times, her reflexes too
impaired to defend the goal from Lauren’s wellstruck disc as it
flew towards her. Dinah and Normani challenged each other to a
competition on the dance machine, the others girls’ watching in
amusement as they pushed and nudged each other to score more
points. Camila even had a go on it with Lauren who unsurprisingly
won as Camila made a good attempt to rock her hips from side to
side but forgot to move her feet to the correct position on the
floor. Together they even had a free throw competition on the
basketball machines, Ally stunning them all with her win
considering her small height. Finally, as it was drawing nearer to
curfew, the girls’ crammed into one of the photo booths to take
pictures, all of them pulling funny faces and poses as the flash
went off and the shutter clicked noisily. When the pictures were
developed, Dinah laughed as she looked upon the third one. It
showed her pretending to beat up Normani in the background,
Ally trying to hold her back and restrain her. In the front, Lauren
and Camila were sat kissing, a content expression on their faces.
In the car on the way home, Camila was looking over the pictures
in her hand thoughtfully. “I think this is my favourite,” Lauren
commented, pointing to the one of her and Camila kissing. “Dinah
looks like she’s going to kill Normani in it.” “Ilove the expression
on Ally’s face,” Dinah laughed. “It looks like she’s really concerned
I’m actually going to hurt her.” Lauren laughed as she realised
Dinah’s words were true. “Do you mind if I keep these?” Camila
asked them, her thumb brushing over each image carefully as she
studied them. “What for?” Dinah asked surprised, knowing that
Camila no longer had any pictures of herself anywhere in her
room since the accident. “I want to put them up on my wall,”
Camila replied honestly stunning her friend. “I want to put them
next to my scribbled attempt at expressing myself. You know, the
one you put up.” she went on. “If that’s ok?” she added
uncertainly. Dinah shared a meaningful look with Lauren and the
others before nodding her head in the affirmative. “Absolutely,”
Dinah said a smile creeping onto her lips. “Yes, definitely, of
course you can have them.” “You don’t mind?” Camila asked
glancing around at the faces in the car. “No,” Normani said.
“They’re yours,” Ally told her. Camila smiled and lowered the
pictures into her lap. “You’re going to put them up?” Lauren asked
sensitively, broaching the subject that everyone else seemed to
be avoiding. “Yeah,” Camila confirmed. “It’s about time I finally
had some pictures back on my wall. Don’t you think?” “Totally,”
Dinah answered. “I miss seeing your stupid face plastered all over
it.” “I really enjoyed tonight,” Camila commented pensively in
explanation. “It was great fun and it really did help to distract me
from all the stuff with the police. I want to remember it…” “That’s
really great Camz,” Lauren said kissing the top of her head lightly.
“I mean, it’s a start right?” Camila questioned turning her head up
to look at Lauren. “They’re only small…” “It’s a start,” Lauren
agreed, smiling at the bigger implication of Camila’s willingness to
display photos once again. “That’s all that matters.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 5/11 “Thank for this evening,” Camila said
addressing her friends. “I’m glad we’re all friends.” Lauren pulled
Camila into her side closer and Dinah rubbed her arm
comfortingly. “Not to get too deep,” Dinah said seriously, “but I’m
glad we’re all friends too.” “Me too,” Normani said smiling from
the front of the car. “Same,” Ally replied simply as she pulled on
to her street and into the drive. “I am as well,” Lauren agreed.
They all emptied the car and said their respective goodbyes to
one another. Normani was staying over at Ally’s house for the
night and Dinah would be at Camila’s. Lauren walked, one arm
linked with Camila’s as the other held the flowers she’d been
given at the start of the evening. Together they made their way to
Camila’s house, Dinah walking alongside them with a relaxed
expression on her face. Once outside Camila’s front door, Dinah
said goodnight to Lauren and thanked her for allowing the rest of
the group to hijack hers and Camila’s ‘date.’ “I’m seriously
considering becoming a lesbian after getting a glimpse of ‘the
life’.” Dinah joked as she offered Lauren a small wave in goodbye
and disappeared inside. She pulled the door to behind her to give
Camila and Lauren some privacy to say goodnight. “So I’ll see you
tomorrow?” Lauren asked Camila, swinging their entwined hands
between them as she was prone to do. “Yes,” Camila answered
simply, smiling at Lauren happily. “I had a really great time
tonight,” she told Camila truthfully. “It is by far the best date I’ve
ever been on.” “Even with the extra company?” Camila asked
uncertainly. “Ithink that’s what made it so special.” Lauren told
her honestly. “You didn’t mind that we weren’t alone?” Camila
questioned. “I really wanted it to be special, you know…to thank
you for everything you do for me.” “It was special,” Lauren told
her kissing Camila on her forehead over her scar. “You’re special.”
She added lifting Camila’s chin so that she was looking at her.
“You know that right?” Camila blushed at Lauren’s words and
averted her gaze for a moment. “I have the most amazing
girlfriend in the world,” Lauren continued emphasizing the word.
“That’s not true,” Camila replied looking in to Lauren’s eyes.
“Camila,” Lauren started to protest but Camila cut her off a smile
on her lips. “You can’t have the most amazing girlfriend in the
world if I do,” Camila informed her seriously. Lauren’s face grew
into a wide smile and she laughed lightly before leaning forward
to crash her lips into Camila’s fervently, her hands finding their
way onto her girlfriends’ lower back, the flowers still clutched in
one hand. Camila wrapped her arms around Lauren’s neck and
pressed their hips together, pulling Lauren down towards her a
 little as she deepened the kiss. “Thank you for tonight,” Lauren
told her gratefully pecking her softly on the lips a few times in
between words. “Thank you everything,” Camila countered and
Lauren kissed her again, desperate for the touch of Camila’s lips
on her own. It was like Lauren was only truly living when she was
inhaling Camila’s scent, tasting her lips and her mouth on her
own, sharing the same air and the same breath. Lauren honestly
felt that she could never really get enough of Camila, her whole
body craved contact with her at every possible moment to the
point where she could no longer be in the same room with Camila
without touching her in some way or other. “I should go,” Lauren
told her as they separated, astutely aware that her curfew was
imminently approaching and that her parents would kill her if she
was late.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 6/11 “Until tomorrow then,” Camila sighed
as Lauren rubbed at her girlfriends’ cheek reflexively, her mind in
turmoil and her body struggling to tear itself away from the
brunette stood before her. Lauren groaned making a face as she
mentally fought with herself. “Go,” Camila prompted her smiling
at Lauren’s obvious anguish. “I don’t want to,” Lauren admitted.
“You’ll be grounded,” Camila told her. “Ugh,” Lauren groaned
again. “Five more minutes…” “Lauren,” Camila laughed. “Your
parents will kill you if you’re late.” “God,” Lauren said before
kissing Camila once again in a final goodbye eventually relenting.
 “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She told her as she tucked a hair behind
Camila’s ear. “Night,” Camila said smiling and lifting her hand up
as Lauren started to make her way back to her car. “Sleep well,”
Lauren told her sincerely because she knew that Camila often
didn’t. “I’ll take something,” Camila informed her. “I’ll have to if I
don’t want to be kept up listening to Dinah snoring,” she joked
and Lauren laughed as she opened her car and descended into it.
Lauren waved one final goodbye before pulling away from the
curb and Camila watched her go before making her way inside.
“Hi mija,” Sinu greeted as Camila closed the door behind her. “Hi,”
Camila replied as her mom kissed her on the cheek. “Where’s
Dinah?” “She’s already gone upstairs,” Sinu told her and Camila
nodded in acknowledgement. “Did you have a good evening?”
“Yeah,” Camila said a small smile on her lips. “I did.” “Good,” Sinu
said before continuing. “Try not to stay up too late tonight,” she
cautioned Camila, rubbing her arm kindly. “I know what you and
Dinah are like when you’re together.” “I’m exhausted,” Camila
shared sincerely. “Ithink I’ll be going straight to sleep.” “Ok,” Sinu
said kissing Camila goodnight. “Night princess.” “Night,” Camila
reciprocated, smiling at her mom before making her way up the
stairs to her room where Dinah had already changed and was
wrapped up under the covers of Camila’s bed, snoring gently.
Camila rolled her eyes at the sight and laughed lightly, amused at
how quickly Dinah could fall asleep when she was tired. She took
the pictures from her pocket and pinned them to the wall,
 admiring them for a moment, a smile on her lips at the
recollection of this afternoon. After a few minutes, Camila
collected her pyjamas and made her way into the bathroom to
wash and get changed before heading back in to the bedroom,
turning off the light and climbing into her bed, pulling her duvet
close around her. She stared at the back of Dinah for a moment
who lay on her side facing away from her and a hint of jealously
welled up within Camila at how easily her friend could fall asleep
when she barely managed to get more than a few hours
undisturbed rest a night. Camila frowned and sighed slightly,
rolling over in the bed to switch on her bedside light and find the
container of sleeping pills on her nightstand. She picked them up
carefully and read the label on the outside, Xanax, before
struggling with the cap for a moment, her hands clumsy.
Eventually, Camila managed to get the container open and tipped
a pill out into her hand. She stared at the small blue pill in the
palm of her hand for a moment before closing her eyes and
bringing it to her mouth, swallowing it quickly without water. She
put the lid back on to the container and set it aside on the
nightstand once more before switching off the light and settling
herself back down in the bed. Camila found herself staring up at
the ceiling, thinking about everything that had happened today,
happily remembering her afternoon with her friends and with
Lauren. She pictured Lauren’s face, her piercing green eyes, the
mischievous glint they’d get when she was teasing her, the bright
 smile that played on her lips and her long dark locks. Camila
would have sworn that she could hear Lauren’s bubbly laugh and
the echo of her voice on her ears
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 7/11 as she lay there and for a moment she
wished that her girlfriend were beside her instead of Dinah. As
much as Camila loved Dinah, she was no substitute for Lauren
when it came to certain things. Lauren had a way of making
Camila feel safe without even having to say one word. All it took
was a simple touch, one small gesture and Camila instantly
relaxed in her presence. Lauren could comfort her in ways that no
one else could, the mere thought of her was enough to ease
Camila’s troubles and so, she thought of Lauren now, her mind
restless as it worried over the nosebleed she’d had earlier.
Camila’s doctor had told her to go back to see him with any
concerns, no matter how small, but, that was the problem, she
had to go back to see him. It wasn’t that Camila didn’t like him,
because really, he was nice. God knows that she owed him
everything, that if it hadn’t been for his care, she’d likely not be
here today, worrying about the prospect of having to see him
again. No, if Camila was honest, she was scared, plain and simple.
The idea that something could be wrong, that she’d be stuck once
again, in a hospital bed, terrified her. She honestly didn’t think
that there was anything else in the world that she wanted to
endure less than another hospital admission; the last one was bad
 enough. So as she worried uneasily in her bed, staring up at the
ceiling, her eyes focusing on nothing, her mind fixed on just one
thing, Lauren. Eventually Camila slipped into sleep, picturing her
girlfriend’s piercing green eyes, her warm smile and her kind
heart. “Mila!” Camila heard someone say anxiously and she felt
her whole body shake from side to side, rocking as something
pushed her hip. “Mila wake up!” the voice said again, louder this
time and Camila tried to open her eyes, her mind groggy and
disorientated. Camila groaned and felt her fist collide with
something as she lashed out, a curse barely audible in response.
She saw a flash of blue and heard the loud screech of brakes,
muffled slightly by something. She felt her whole body lurch as
she was shaken again and heard a resolute thud before everything
went black. The oppressive darkness was soon disrupted by blazes
of bright lights and Camila could hear a steady rhythmic beat, a
regular electronic beep, muffled cries surrounding her, the deep
resonating tone of a man’s voice in her ear. “Mila!” came the
voice again, closer this time and Camila felt the sharp prick of
something entering her arm and flinched reflexively, her eyes
fluttering open. “Wake up Mila!” Came the voice again and Camila
tried to obey, her eyes trembling with the effort, her lids feeling
heavy. Camila attempted to lift her head, swallowing hard. She
wanted to cry out in pain, her left arm feeling like it was on fire,
her head pounding in agony, but she couldn’t, something
obstructing her efforts, scratching at her throat, suffocating her…
 “Mila!” Dinah’s voice cried clearly and Camila’s eyes snapped
open, her stomach lurching in her abdomen making her feel
nauseous. Camila felt Dinah’s hand on her hip and her body was
cold and clammy, drenched in sweat from head to toe. Her
breaths were ragged, her chest constricted tightly as she struggled
to orientate herself. “Jesus Mila,” Dinah said, watching her friend
closely feeling panicked. “Wake up,” Dinah said again just about
managing to make out the still faraway look of Camila’s eyes in
the darkness. Camila felt the bed shift slightly as Dinah leant
across her and switched on the bedside light. “Shit,” she heard
Dinah curse before she put her hand on the side of Camila’s face,
patting it gently in an attempt to bring her out of her dream
completely. “Jesus Camila, would you please wake the fuck up.
Shit.” Dinah cursed again and finally Camila could make out her
friends outline in front of her. Camila felt Dinah pinch the bridge
of her nose firmly and was confused for a moment before her
eyes finally focused and she noted the small pool of red, soiling
the otherwise pristine white of the bed sheet. Camila sat up
quickly; now wide awake at the realisation of what had happened.
She reached up her own hand to push Dinah’s out of the way and
covered her nostrils with the back of her other hand, tilting her
head back without thinking. “Jesus Camila,” Dinah said shifting on
the bed slightly and trying to angle Camila’s head forward. “Don’t
tilt your head back. You’ll make yourself sick.” Camila tried to
protest as Dinah strained to reach for the bridge of her nose again
 but, she couldn’t speak, the sound coming out as a grunt and
nothing more.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 8/11 “I’m getting your mom,” Dinah said
jumping from the bed and Camila, her senses coming back to her
quickly followed suit, running in front of Dinah to cut her off at
the door, locking it hastily. “No,” she said managed to say,
blocking the exit so Dinah couldn’t leave. “Camila,” Dinah said
astounded, “get out of the way.” “No,” Camila said again as she
felt the trickle of blood make its way down her nose onto her top
lip. She reached up the sleeve of one arm to catch it before it
dripped onto the floor. “Are you fucking serious Mila?” Dinah
asked exasperated. “Please,” Camila almost begged. “It’s
nothing…” “It’s nothing?” Dinah asked in disbelief. “Camila you
just had a fucking nightmare and now your nose is pouring with
blood. That is not nothing…” “It’s fine,” Camila told her. “It’ll stop
in a minute, alright…just…wait…please?” “Wait,” Dinah said
suddenly in realisation at hearing Camila’s words. “Has this
happened before?” “I promise it’s ok Dinah,” Camila told her as
she followed Dinah’s eyes which were studying her sleeve closely,
the blood seeping into the material and spreading with each
passing second. “I don’t believe you,” Dinah said doubtfully an
angry edge to her voice. “Are you fucking crazy?” “Please,” Camila
pleaded, “don’t tell my mom…” “You had your fucking skull
cracked open a few months ago Camila,” Dinah told her as though
 she’d forgotten. “I know…” Camila said, tears stinging her eyes.
“You know, yet you’re not concerned about this,” Dinah said
gesturing to Camila’s face. “Please Dinah I’m begging you,” Camila
said desperately. “Please…” “No fucking way,” Dinah said making
a move towards the door. “No please listen,” Camila said
frantically. “Please…just…hear me out alright.” Camila lowered
her arm, her sleeve now covered in blood and she made a move
to step towards Dinah who was watching her closely. “You can’t
tell my mom,” Camila said worriedly. “Please…you can’t’ tell
anyone…” “Why?” Dinah asked seriously. “Why not Mila? Tell me
one good reason why I should keep this to myself.” “I’m scared,”
Camila admitted her voice quiet, tears forming in the corner of
her eyes. “Ok, I’m scared…” “Jesus,” Dinah said to her, “I’m
fucking scared too.” “Please,” Camila said again. “Please…I can’t
go back there again Dinah.” “Back where?” Dinah asked her
genuinely not understanding. “The hospital,” Camila said quickly
brushing at her nose with the back of her hand again, feeling
another trickle of blood escape. “Who says that you’ll have to?”
Dinah asked her seriously. “It might be nothing.” “It might be
something though,” Camila said terrified. “What if it is something
Dinah? What if I need to have more surgery?” “Then you need to
have more surgery Camila,” Dinah said gravely. “What’s the
alternative?” “I can’t,” Camila told her miserably. “I can’t go back
there, Jesus….please Dinah…I’m begging you…” “Girls?” Sinu’s
voice came from the other side of the door and Camila threw
 herself in front of it quickly to stop her from opening it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62092450897/trialsand-
tribulationschapter24 9/11 “Yeah mom,” Camila said throwing a
desperate look at Dinah. “Is everything alright in there?” she
asked. “It’s three o’clock in the morning.” “I’m sorry,” Camila
apologised, her eyes never leaving Dinah’s face. “I had a
nightmare…” “Are you ok?” Sinu asked her concerned. “I’m fine,”
Camila practically sobbed. “Please, go back to sleep. I didn’t mean
to wake you.” Camila felt the door handle move slightly against
her back and she closed her eyes silently praying for her mom to
leave. “Camila,” Sinu said confused. “Why is your door locked?”
“Please,” Camila beseeched of her. “I’m fine…go back to bed.”
“Dinah?” Sinu asked and Camila shot her friend a nervous look.
“What’s really going on in there?” “It’s nothing,” Camila said, her
eyes imploring Dinah to agree. “Dinah?” Sinu asked again trying
the door handle once more. “Mom please…” Camila said again
before dropping her tone to nothing more than a whisper.
“Please,” she begged of Dinah, “please tell her everything’s
alright.” “You really think you can hide this from her forever?”
Dinah asked her voice low. “She’ll find out eventually Mila,” Dinah
told her. “I just…” Camila started throwing a quick glance back at
the door. “Please…” she entreated. “I’m sorry,” Dinah said,
making a move to step around her and open the door. “Dinah
please don’t,” Camila said, tugging on her arm. “You need to see a
doctor about this,” Dinah told her seriously pointing at Camila’s
 nose which had settled but was covered in quickly drying blood.
“Dinah…” Camila said. “I swear I’ll never forgive you if you do
this…” she left the threat hanging between them. “Camila,” Sinu
said sternly from the other side of the door, “open the door right
now.” “Please,” Camila tried again. “Please don’t do this…” Dinah
looked at Camila and she knew that there was no way for her to
win in this situation. Either she did as Camila asked and risked
jeopardising her health and possibly her life, or, she opened the
door and risked losing her friendship. Neither prospect really
appealed to Dinah but, she’d rather Camila was pissed at her then
dead. “I’m sorry,” Dinah said again and Camila released her arm,
defeated.
Chapter 25
“Hi,” Lauren greeted Dinah and Ally as she carefully slid into an
empty chair at the desk behind the pair of them in home room.
“Hey Lo,” Ally said, waving her hand slightly in welcome, a smile
on her lips. “Hi,” Dinah replied, her eyes scanning the empty
space behind Lauren for something. “Where’s Camila?” she asked
concerned. Lauren pulled her notebook and a pen out of her bag,
placing it on the desk in front of her as she answered. “The
hospital,” Lauren informed Dinah openly. “She has another
appointment with her doctor today.” Lauren sighed as she threw
her bag onto the floor at her feet. “I wouldn’t be sitting here
otherwise.” She continued sadly, sharing a meaningful look with
the taller girl. “She hates me,” Dinah said to no one in particular.
 “She doesn’t hate you,” Ally reassured Dinah, rubbing her arm
comfortingly with her hand. “She’s just got a lot going on right
now…” “It’s been two weeks since she last spoke to me,” Dinah
interceded dejectedly. “She definitely hates me.” “She doesn’t,”
Lauren reiterated, leaning her elbows onto the desk in front of
her. “Ally’s right Dinah. She’s just…” Lauren paused for a moment
trying to think of the best way to describe Camila’s current state.
“Struggling,” she finally settled on, reaching one hand forward
and placing it on Dinah’s shoulder, prompting her to meet
Lauren’s gaze. “Try to give her a little more time,” Lauren
suggested. “She’ll come around eventually. You two have been
friends too long for her to just throw it all away. She’s not upset
with you. Not really.” “She could have fooled me,” Dinah replied
sadly. “She’s barely even looked at me since it happened…I can
still remember the look on her face when I opened the door to let
her mom in…it was like I’d stabbed her in the gut with a blunt
knife…” “She’ll get over it soon enough,” Ally said trying to stay
optimistic and repeating Lauren’s previous opinion. “You’ll see.” “I
don’t think she will,” Dinah countered. “We’ve never fought like
this before. I can’t even remember the last time we went longer
than twenty four hours without talking to each other…I mean,
willingly that is.” Dinah clarified. “Obviously there was…I mean…
after the accident we…but…that was different.” Dinah expressed
and Lauren knitted her brow together thoughtfully. “Didn’t she
and her family come to your house for Thanksgiving dinner last
 week?” Lauren asked remembering that she and Camila had
discussed it briefly. “She must have spoken to you then…” “Not
one word,” Dinah admitted. “Our parents even sat us together at
the table and she still managed to maintain radio silence.” “She
didn’t say anything?” Lauren asked Dinah disappointed.
“Nothing?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 2/10 “Nada,” Dinah repeated, playing
mindlessly with the bracelet on her wrist that Camila had bought
her as a gift a few years ago. Dinah raised her eyes to look at
Lauren after a moment, desperate for more information regarding
Camila’s current condition and the reason for her newest visit to
the hospital. “She’s…alright though?” Dinah asked Lauren
worriedly. “I mean, she’s ok…” “She’s…ok.” Lauren said thinking
about Camila and her recent difficulties. “It’s just a routine follow-
up appointment today. At least, that’s what she told me.
Sometimes I wonder whether she tells me everything that’s going
on with her.” Lauren admitted. “They still think it’s her
medication?” Dinah asked continuing to fiddle with the bracelet
around her wrist. “They’re sure that it’s got nothing to do with her
head injury?” “The doctors did a lot of scans and investigations
when they admitted her after…you know…” Lauren trailed off, not
wanting to directly refer to the events that had followed their
group date when Dinah had stayed over and woken to find
Camila, in the midst of a nightmare with her nose bleeding
heavily. “Everything came back normal according to her mom. The
scans didn’t show anything new and her blood work was all clear.”
“Is she still getting the nosebleeds?” Ally questioned with interest.
“Not as much,” Lauren replied. “She had one a couple of days ago
but they’re nowhere near as bad as they used to be. The doctors
are hoping that changing the Aspirin and Naproxen she takes to
something else will stop them from happening in future.” “I can’t
believe they admitted her,” Dinah said wretchedly. “She hates
that place…she was so scared that’s what would happen…”
“Dinah you did the right thing,” Lauren reassured her. “It doesn’t
feel like it,” Dinah replied. “Sometimes I wish I’d just done as
she’d asked and kept my mouth shut.” “Well, I’m glad that you
didn’t,” Lauren admitted genuinely. “I could have killed her when
Ifound out what happened. Ithought she was getting better at
sharing things with us…I don’t understand why she’d hide
something that could have potentially been really serious…” “She
was terrified,” Dinah interjected. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her
look so scared in the whole time that I’ve known her. She couldn’t
bear the idea of having to go back in to hospital and look what
happened…” “Camila will realise that it was for the best,” Ally
offered. “She knows you were only doing what you thought was
right Dinah. You were worried about her…” “I’m a complete
traitor in her eyes though,” Dinah cut Ally off. “The seizures…they
weren’t planned…so…she had to go back in to hospital. She had
no choice in the matter, but, this, it was something she could
 control and Itook that from her.” She paused for a moment to
look between Ally and Lauren before continuing. “Now look
what’s happened.” Dinah went on. “We can’t even hang out
together anymore. I mean, it’s Wednesday and you’ll be with
Camila,” she said nodding in Lauren’s direction, “and I’ll be with
Ally and Normani. It’ll be the first Wednesday since the start of
the school year that we’ve not all spent together…well, except
when we were with family last week for the holiday.” “Dinah this
isn’t your fault,” Lauren told her squeezing her shoulder
sympathetically. “You’ve tried to talk to her…” “I know and look
where that’s gotten me,” Dinah interrupted. “Absolutely
nowhere. She still won’t even acknowledge my presence half the
time.” “I’ll try talking to her again,” Lauren promised. “No don’t,”
Dinah told her firmly. “I really don’t want to cause any problems
for the two of you.” She said sincerely. “Camila needs someone
around and she’ll push you away if you try to force her hand.
She’s so stubborn sometimes…” “You’re telling me,” Lauren
muttered in understanding. “Please just…make sure she’s alright,
ok?” Dinah asked. “Promise me that you’ll look out for her?” “I
promise,” Lauren told Dinah compassionately, a sad smile on her
lips. “You know that I will Dinah.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 3/10 “I know,” she agreed. “Thank you for
keeping me informed with everything that has been going on with
her.” Dinah continued appreciatively. “I’ve been worrying myself
 sick thinking up all the possible things that could be wrong. It
scared the crap out of me to see her like that….there was blood
everywhere…” Lauren squeezed Dinah’s shoulder kindly before
moving her hand down and placing it on top of the other girls’.
“It’s nothing serious,” Lauren reassured her. “The doctors aren’t
too concerned so, try not to worry about it, alright?” “I’m trying,”
Dinah responded, “but it’s just, she looks so tired and withdrawn
all the time.” Dinah noted. “I can’t help but worry, especially
when she was doing so well.” Lauren sighed as she thought about
the obvious changes in her since her readmission to the hospital.
“She’s not really sleeping,” Lauren told Dinah, wanting to share as
much information with her as possible to try and allay her
discernible concerns. “Since they’ve changed her medication she’s
been getting a lot more headaches and her left hand has been
really painful. They haven’t really found the right replacement
pills for her yet…” “Is her speech still alright?” Dinah asked feeling
guilty. “It…comes and goes,” Lauren admitted. “It really depends
on how tired she is, but, she’s been quiet in herself as well. Ithink
she misses having you around to be honest,” Lauren confessed.
“She’s just too proud to admit it.” “Can you do something for
me?” Dinah asked removing the bracelet from around her wrist
and holding it out for Lauren. “Can you please give this back to
her for me?” “Didn’t she give this to you?” Lauren asked taking
the bracelet from her uncertainly. “Yeah,” Dinah said, “but it feels
like its burning a mark into my wrist every time I wear it. She
 should have it back.” “Ok,” Lauren said placing the bracelet into
her pocket. “I’ll give it to her during math.” “Tell her…” Dinah
started but, she changed her mind at the last minute. “Tell her
what?” Lauren asked probingly. “Just…tell her that I’m really
sorry, alright?” Dinah asked. “That’s it, just that I’m really sorry for
everything.” “I will,” Lauren assured her just as Miss Lovato stood
from her seat at the front of the class to share some
announcements and take registration. Dinah, Ally and Lauren had
no other opportunity to discuss their currently fractured group
and Camila’s health any further before next period and when the
bell rang, they separated to go to their respective classes. Lauren
had French class following home room on a Wednesday and sat,
her mind preoccupied with thoughts of how Camila’s
appointment went, her hands playing mindlessly with the bracelet
that Dinah had asked her to return. Lauren studied the bracelet
closely in her hands as she thought, sighing inwardly at the mess
Camila was in. She’d been miserable ever since that day, when
Dinah had gone against her wishes and allowed her mom into the
room to find her bloodied and pale. Camila’s parents had almost
instantly taken her down to the emergency room, barely
hesitating long enough for Camila to change into a pair of sweats
and a hoody. Dinah had stayed behind to look after Sofi until her
abuela arrived and then slept over until morning when she’d
gotten a ride to school with Ally. The doctors had kept Camila in
hospital for three days, running various tests and completing a
multitude of investigations. Lauren had visited her every day after
school anxious with worry about the cause of the nosebleeds.
Camila had been quiet for the most part, but, she had allowed
Lauren to hold her close, burying herself into her chest when
she’d climbed up onto the hospital bed with her. Dinah had
attempted to visit numerous times over the course of Camila’s
admission but, each time she’d arrived, Dinah was met with
complete and utter silence, Camila ignoring any attempts at
communication she’d made. Finally, after finding that all Camila’s
other tests had come back clean, the doctors had discharged her,
putting the nosebleeds down to the various medications she was
taking, in particular her antiinflammatories and analgesics whose
side effects, often included nosebleeds.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 4/10 Camila’s doctor had immediately
changed her prescriptions to try and reduce the same thing
happening in future. However, not only had Camila still suffered
from further nosebleeds periodically, she had also been suffering
from a higher incidence of what were sometimes debilitating
headaches and excruciating wrist pain. Lauren thought back to
how happy Camila had been that afternoon whilst they’d
practiced hitting balls down at the batting cages and conducted
food challenges at Jimmy’s diner. Dinah had been right when
she’d told Lauren to embrace the good days because lately, they
seemed to be few and far between, peppered sporadically
 amongst what seemed to be an ever increasing number of bad
ones. Following her French class, Lauren made her way towards
math and hoped that Camila would be present, her appointment
not running into the class. Lauren felt herself relax with relief as
she entered the familiar classroom to find her girlfriend occupying
her usual seat by the window and she made her way across the
space between them, dropping herself down into the vacant seat
at Camila’s side. Camila didn’t turn to look at Lauren immediately,
apparently unaware of her arrival, her attention focused on
something of interest on the other side of the glass, her mind
obviously preoccupied on other things. “Camz,” Lauren said her
voice soft as she placed a hand gently on Camila’s arm to get her
attention. “Is everything alright?” Camila turned her face to look
at Lauren and smiled at her sleepily. “Yeah,” Camila answered,
reaching over with her other hand to take the one Lauren had
placed on her arm. She rubbed the back of Lauren’s hand
unconsciously and returned to glancing out the window. “So,”
Lauren started hesitatingly. “How did it go at the hospital?”
Camila dropped her gaze to the table for a minute before glancing
back at Lauren, her eyes not quite meeting her girlfriends’ bright
green ones. “Fine,” Camila said in response, her eyelids dropping
heavily for a second. “They took some more blood,” Camila
informed her, holding out her left arm and showing Lauren the
small beige plaster which had been stuck over where the needle
had marked her. “You seem tired,” Lauren commented, reaching a
 hand up and brushing Camila’s forehead gently with her
fingertips. “I am,” Camila admitted, her eyelids dropping heavily
again. “Should you be here?” Lauren asked her seriously, but the
look Camila gave her in response told her that there would be no
convincing her to go home. “I’m fine,” Camila replied a little too
harshly and Lauren flinched internally at her tone. Lauren brushed
Camila’s forehead again and she closed her eyes, tilting her head
into the palm of Lauren’s hand, resting it there as Lauren leant
forward to kiss her brow soothingly. “I’m sorry,” Lauren
apologised again, the words quickly becoming the most used in
her vocabulary over the last few weeks. It seemed like she
couldn’t have one conversation with Camila anymore without
feeling the need to apologise for something. Most of the time she
didn’t even know what she’d done to warrant the need for it. “No
I’m sorry,” Camila countered. “I’m just…so tired.” “I know,”
Lauren said in understanding, stroking her brow again. “Do you
have a headache?” Lauren asked her worriedly. “Yeah a little,”
Camila admitted. “It’s not too bad though. I’ve had worse.” “Have
you taken something?” Lauren asked her. “I’m maxed out,”
Camila responded a hint of irritation in her voice. “I think that’s
why I’m so tired…” “Your speech doesn’t seem too bad,” Lauren
noted positively. “Give it an hour,” Camila replied shortly. “I’m
sure I’ll be incoherent by lunch.” “Camz,” Lauren said sadly, as
Camila held her head in her right hand, massaging her temple.
Lauren rubbed Camila’s back soothingly. “Can I do anything?”
 “No,” Camila answered lifting her gaze to look at Lauren.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 5/10 “How about we go out tonight and get
something to eat?” Lauren suggested in an attempt to lift Camila’s
mood. “I’m not really feeling up to it,” Camila replied honestly.
“Ithink I’d just rather stay in.” “Ok,” Lauren responded, her voice
betraying the rejection that she felt. Camila scrunched up her
nose and furrowed her brow on hearing Lauren’s tone and sighed.
“I know it’s boring,” she said misunderstanding Lauren’s response.
“You don’t have to come over if you’d rather hang out at Ally’s…I
guess I’m kind of a sucky girlfriend at the moment…” she mused.
“No it’s not that,” Lauren said kissing the side of Camila’s cheek in
an attempt to reassure her. “I just…I didn’t think you wanted me
to come over. I thought you meant that you wanted to be alone.”
Camila met Lauren’s gaze and reached up her hand to move a
stray strand of hair out of her eyes. “Please come over,” Camila
pleaded with her. “Of course I’ll come over,” Lauren told her
squeezing Camila’s left hand and cursing herself mentally when
she saw her wince in discomfort. “I know you didn’t sign up for
this,” Camila said evidently angry at herself for not being able to
be the girlfriend she thought Lauren deserved. “It’s ok,” Lauren
reassured her. “You’re just having a bad day, that’s all.” “That’s all
I seem to have at the moment,” Camila commented dryly.
“Perhaps you should talk to Dinah?” Lauren tried, sensing that
their rift was playing a larger part in Camila’s mood than she was
 admitting. “No,” Camila said simply. “Camz she’s really worried
about you,” Lauren tried. “She feels awful about what happened
and she misses you.” Lauren paused for a moment to gauge
Camila’s reaction to her words but all they were met with was
apathy. “I know that you miss her too,” Lauren told her
sensitively. Camila looked at Lauren with a miserable expression
on her face and for one second, Lauren thought that Camila was
about to burst out in tears she appeared so despondent. “She
gave me this to give to you,” Lauren said when Camila didn’t say
anything in response. Lauren reached into her pocket and pulled
out the bracelet Dinah had given her earlier and handed it to
Camila who studied it with an unreadable expression on her face.
“I gave this to her,” Camila noted finally, having turned the
bracelet over in her hands a few times. “It…was a present.
She…she doesn’t want it anymore?” Camila asked her meeting
Lauren’s eyes. “She told me to tell you that she’s sorry for
everything that happened,” Lauren shared with Camila, sensing an
opportunity. “She feels awful Camz.” “She shouldn’t,” Camila
answered and Lauren felt hopeful at the words. “She didn’t do
anything wrong.” “So you’ll talk to her?” Lauren asked
optimistically. “No,” Camila replied and Lauren furrowed her brow
in confusion. “Why?” Lauren asked puzzled. “Ijust…can’t,” Camila
replied dropping her gaze. “Camz,” Lauren started to say but her
sentence was interrupted by Mr Lopez arriving to take the class,
himself being double certified as a math and history teacher. They
 had a test scheduled for today so Lauren was unable to probe
Camila’s reluctance to talk to Dinah further until lunch when they
were sat together at lunch across the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 6/10 cafeteria from where Ally, Normani
and the girl in question sat. Camila had been decidedly quiet since
math class and Lauren watched her now as she sat eating her
sandwich, the bracelet that she’d given Dinah now firmly secured
around her own wrist alongside the matching one she owned.
Lauren saw Camila look in Dinah’s direction subtly out of the
corner of her eye and decided that this was her opportunity to
broach the topic once more. “Go and talk to her,” Lauren
prompted encouragingly. “She’ll talk to you Camz. She’s been
desperate to talk to you for two weeks.” “I don’t want to talk to
her,” Camila answered taking another bite of her sandwich and
looking towards the table Dinah occupied once again. Lauren
looked over her shoulder and smiled when she saw Dinah looking
back at the two of them with a sad expression on her face. Dinah
waved at Lauren and Camila inquisitively but only Lauren
responded, Camila choosing to continue to stare at the other girl
for a moment before turning her attention back to her lunch.
“What are you doing Camz?” Lauren asked her earnestly. “You’re
both clearly miserable…” “Please just drop it Lauren,” Camila cut
her off despairingly. “No I don’t get it,” Lauren told her glancing
over her shoulder at Dinah again to see her still looking in their
 direction. “You don’t hate her and you don’t blame her, but, you
won’t forgive her?” Camila dropped her sandwich on to the table
her appetite lost and she massaged her temple again, scrunching
up her face as she did so. “Please, just…leave it,” Camila said,
closing her eyes for a moment. “Camz this is ridiculous,” Lauren
said in disbelief. “Dinah loves you…she was trying to help…” “She
didn’t help!”Camila practically spat out, tears threatening the
corners of her eyes. “She didn’t alright.” “You just said that it
wasn’t her fault,” Lauren said surprised at the venom in Camila’s
voice. “You said that she didn’t do anything wrong…” “I know she
was trying to do the right thing,” Camila said rubbing at her eyes,
“I know that. Honestly, I do…” “Then what’s the problem?” Lauren
asked her. “I am,” Camila told her. “I’m the problem Lauren.”
“Camila you’re not…” Lauren said, moving her hand to place it on
Camila’s left forearm. “Please don’t touch me,” Camila said
removing her arm out from under Lauren’s touch, selfloathing
etched in her voice. “Please…” she beseeched. “I’m sorry,” Lauren
apologised, those now familiar words coming all too reflexively.
Camila dropped her head into her hands and chuckled to herself,
a manic, somewhat disturbing sound it was so misplaced in the
moment. “You’re sorry,” Camila said, “Dinah’s sorry, my doctors
are sorry, everyone is fucking sorry…” she continued. “Ok, don’t
do this to yourself Camz,” Lauren said, ensuring that she
restrained the hand that was itching to reach for Camila’s chin
and turn her face up to look at her. “Don’t be angry,” Camila said
 appearing lost in her own thoughts, the words trickling out of her
mouth as soon as her brain had conceived them. “Don’t get upset,
don’t get frustrated or…or annoyed.” She paused for a minute
lifting her eyes to Lauren’s. “You’re doing really well,” Camila said
mimicking everyone that she’d ever heard those words from her
tone mocking. “You’re getting better every day; making
improvements…you should be pleased with your progress…” “I’m
not getting better Lauren,” Camila said angrily after a moment
when Lauren had not said anything in response, all words lost to
her. Camila clutched at the side of her
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 7/10 head as she continued. “I’m not…and
you stick around like one day I’ll wake up and finally be the person
that you deserve…” “You know that’s not…” Lauren began but
Camila was slowly spiralling and she’d already stopped listening to
anyone else except the voice in her head which kept telling her
that she was a failure and an idiot. The voice that constantly made
her question her continued existence, whether it was all worth
the struggles she faced on a daily basis. “First the seizures…”
Camila continued unimpeded, “and then the nosebleeds…and the
pain, the constant, pounding, ache in my head and the burning in
my arm, the pins and needles…” “Camz calm down babe,” Lauren
said reaching forward to put a hand on her shoulder and stopping
at the last minute, remembering Camila’s previous reaction. “Just
breathe…its ok.” “It’s not ok,” Camila said, hearing but not
 listening. She was completely unaware of Lauren’s presence, her
mind racing, rambling, “I failed that test, I didn’t even answer any
of the questions…I couldn’t concentrate…” Lauren sucked in a
deep breath and she glanced over at Dinah who was watching
them, evidently concerned, from where she sat. Dinah made a
move to stand up but Lauren stayed her by raising her hand.
“Camz…look at me…” Lauren pleaded, tears stinging the corner of
her eyes and threatening to spill over. “It’s me Lauren…just…calm
down…babe, don’t get yourself worked up…you’ll have another…”
As she said it, Lauren noted the pool of blood forming at the
opening to Camila’s left nostril and felt her stomach drop,
Camila’s agitation bringing on another nosebleed as she thought it
might. “What’s wrong?” Lauren asked leaning forward and
holding out a tissue for Camila, which she either did not see or
chose to ignore. “Why are you doing this?” Lauren asked her.
“You were doing so well…” “Ifucking hate myself,” Camila said
loudly in response. There it is again, Lauren thought as Camila
finally expressed the same selfloathing which she’d suffered with
since they’d first met and as before, Lauren’s heart broke at the
sound of the words as they left Camila’s lips. “I’m fucking useless,”
Camila shouted standing up and banging her hands on the table,
causing her to wince in pain. She pulled her left arm up into her
chest, cradling it with her right. “Shit,” she said and Lauren stood
up anxious, noting that Dinah had followed suit from the corner of
her eye. Students were watching the interaction now and Lauren
 couldn’t help but feel selfconscious as Camila continued. “I can’t
fucking stand it,” Camila shouted, her face growing red and her
breath coming fast. “It’s such fucking bullshit…it’s…it’s….fucking
shit.” Lauren noted movement out of the corner of her eye and
was almost positive that it was Dinah but she couldn’t tear her
eyes away from Camila, her mind torn with what to do for the
best. She knew if she tried to touch her, Camila would lash out
but, if she didn’t she could hurt herself, her emotions already
getting the better of her. “Why do you even hang out with me?”
Camila asked and Lauren went to answer but wasn’t afforded the
opportunity when Camila pressed on. “You could be friends with
anyone, you could date anyone but you don’t…none of you
do…why? I don’t understand why you stick around? Why the fuck
do you put up with all this shit? Why?” “Camz,” Lauren said her
voice calm. She stepped closer to Camila again, reaching out her
hand tentatively but stepping back quickly when Camila swiped at
her. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Camila shouted. “I don’t want
anyone to touch me, just… leave me the fuck alone. I just…”
Camila reached up to put a hand to her head as though she felt
dizzy, the blood from her nose now leaving a crimson trail down
her lip and on to her chin. “Mila…” Dinah tried, having stepped up
beside Lauren as Miss Lovato also appeared beside them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62189160723/trialsand-
tribulationschapter25 8/10 “Fuck you,” Camila said putting a hand
on the table to steady herself. “Fuck you,” she said again, her
 voice slightly weaker now, some of the bitterness lost, sobs
escaping her lips as tears began to fall from her eyes. “Camz,”
Lauren said again, stepping closer to Camila worriedly. Camila had
bowed her head so that it was in held in her hands. She started to
hit the top of it with the heel of her hands, gently at first and then
more forcefully, cursing under her breath, admonishing herself.
Lauren took the opportunity to take another step closer to Camila
and took hold of here right hand in her grasp firmly. Camila’s head
snapped up at the contact like she’d been given and electric shock
and she wrestled in Lauren’s grip trying to get free. “Let me go!”
she hissed. “Lauren…let me go…” Lauren didn’t know whether she
meant in this moment or forever, but glancing at Miss Lovato who
was stood observing the scene closely, apparently at just as much
of a loss as both Lauren and Dinah, she was reminded of her
words of advice the last time this had happened. “Just continue to
be there. Even when it’s hard for her and she lashes out or tries to
push you away. Especially be there for her then, because that’s
when she’ll need you to be around the most.” “No,” Lauren said
firmly as she grabbed hold of Camila’s left elbow. “Stop,” Camila
pleaded, trying to bang her fists into Lauren’s chest. “Fucking stop
it!” Camila tried to hit Lauren, tried to punch her, tried to kick her,
but Lauren held her tightly, pulling her close to her. “No!” Camila
protested again as Lauren continued to hold her unrelentingly.
“Stop it please…” “Shh…” Lauren said pulling Camila’s face into
her chest as she continued to squirm, the blood from here nose
 seeping into Lauren’s shirt. She threw her arms around Camila’s
torso pulling her into her closer, not letting her go even as her
girlfriends’ fists pumped into her back in protest. “Shh…” Lauren
tried to soothe again, reaching up with one hand to gently stroke
her hair. “It’s ok.” Lauren reassured her, her whole body moving
as Camila continued to escape her grasp. “Please…” Camila said
her voice quieter than before. “Please…” her body finally sagging
in Lauren’s arms as she openly sobbed. “Please make it stop,” she
said crying. “I just want it to stop,” Camila said as her knees
buckled and she collapsed to the floor, still wrapped up in
Lauren’s arms. Lauren kissed the top of Camila’s head, herself
crying now as Camila reached up and once again pressed the heel
of her hand to her head, bumping it repeatedly. “Please… just
make it stop…please Lauren…please…” “Ok,” Lauren said kissing
the top of Camila’s head again and rocking her back and forth
slightly on the floor. “It’s ok…” “Please,” Camila pleaded again
pushing her forehead into Lauren’s shoulder. “Please…” “I’ve got
you,” Lauren comforted sharing a look with Miss Lovato who had
put a hand on her shoulder supportively. “I’ve got you Camz…it’ll
be alright….shh…I promise…I’ve got you.”
Chapter 26
Camila continued to sob into Lauren’s arms, her whole body
shaking violently, her breaths tortured as her lungs fought for air,
her chest going into paroxysmal spasms. “Please don’t cry,”
Lauren told Camila sadly, kissing her gently on the top of the
 head. She brushed Camila’s hair out of her eyes, tucking it
carefully behind her ear securely. Lauren’s eyes were wet with her
own tears which were falling freely as she listened to the
agonizing sound of Camila crying into her, muttering quiet pleas
for Lauren to, ‘make it stop.’ “Please Camz,” Lauren implored.
“Please don’t cry…” Lauren felt a hand on her shoulder and
turned, just in time to see Miss Lovato crouch down beside her.
“Camila,” Miss Lovato said her voice calm and composed. She was
studying Camila closely a sad expression on her face. “Camila,”
Miss Lovato repeated, placing a hand on Camila’s back and
rubbing it soothingly. “Hey,” Miss Lovato said as Camila turned
her head slightly to look at whoever was addressing her. “It’s Miss
Lovato,” the teacher informed her evenly, pausing to allow Camila
to register the truth to her words. “I need you to come with me,”
Miss Lovato said, her tone relaxed. “Do you think you can do
that?” she asked. Lauren watched Camila carefully for a response,
observing her swollen eyes, her tear streaked cheeks, her flushed
complexion. Camila’s skin felt warm to touch and Lauren noted
that her nosebleed had now slowed; blood visible in an obvious
trail from her nostril to her chin. Camila looked at Miss Lovato,
her eyelids low and her pupils sluggish, as though she wasn’t quite
aware of what was happening around her. “Camila?” Miss Lovato
repeated kindly, brushing Camila’s cheek with her fingertips
gently. “I really need you to come with me now.” She reiterated.
“Is that ok?” Camila’s chest was still heaving, her sobs finally dying
 down when Lauren felt her nod her head in response to Miss
Lovato’s question. “Ok,” Miss Lovato said, placing her hand on to
Camila’s shoulder. “Ok, good.” She said gently, turning her head
towards Lauren and silently instructing her to release her hold on
Camila. Lauren relaxed her grip on her girlfriend’s small form
reluctantly, separating them a little bit so that Miss Lovato could
take both of Camila’s shoulders in her hands. Slowly, Miss Lovato
guided Camila up on to her feet and Lauren followed suit,
standing up opposite them. She watched as Miss Lovato put one
arm around Camila’s shoulders comfortingly and out of some kind
of primitive reflex, Camila turned her face to bury it against Miss
Lovato’s chest, her knees almost giving out as her body
threatened to buckle beneath her again. Miss Lovato wrapped her
other arm around Camila’s torso to support her and turned her
attention back to Lauren who felt like she was watching the scene
before her rather than being an active participant. “Can you
collect her things?” Miss Lovato asked Lauren quietly. Lauren
nodded in the affirmative, stepping over to the table to pick up
both hers and Camila’s belongings as Miss Lovato lead the fragile
brunette through the cafeteria and
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 2/10 out in to the hallway. Lauren made a
move to follow her and came face to face with Dinah who had an
uneasy expression on her face. “Can you call me later?” Dinah
asked Lauren desperately, her tone etched with worry. “You’re
not coming too?” Lauren questioned back. Dinah turned to look at
Camila who was still wrapped up in Miss Lovato’s arms as they
disappeared out in to the hallway. “No,” Dinah said sadly, her
attention once again on Lauren. “I don’t think that’d be a good
idea.” Lauren saw Ally come up alongside Dinah and link their
arms together whilst Normani approached from Dinah’s other
side and started rubbing her free arm supportively. “Are you
sure?” Lauren asked her, throwing a quick glance towards the
door, eager to catch up with Miss Lovato and Camila. “Yeah,”
Dinah said sadly, her eyes glistening with the threat of tears. “You
should go.” “Ok,” Lauren replied. “I’ll call you I promise,” she told
her sincerely. Dinah nodded in acknowledgement before Lauren
made a beeline for the door to chase after Camila and Miss
Lovato. She caught up to them a little way down the corridor and
followed Miss Lovato as she led Camila to the school nurses office.
Miss Lovato guided Camila into a vacant chair before disappearing
to talk to the school nurse for a moment and Lauren sat beside
her girlfriend whilst they waited for her to reappear. Lauren
dropped the assortment of bags in her hands on the floor at her
feet before reaching one arm round Camila’s neck and holding
onto her shoulder tightly. She pulled Camila, who was now staring
in to space, her tears having finally ceased, into her side and
kissed her on the head lightly, her free hand reaching for Camila’s
left. She picked up Camila’s fingers in her own, playing with them
mindlessly as she always did, finding the familiarity of the gesture
 comforting amidst everything that was going on. Miss Lovato
appeared a few moments later with a damp cloth in her hands
and crouched in front of Lauren and Camila, studying the smaller
girl closely, her brow furrowing in concern. “Camila,” Miss Lovato
said in that same friendly tone of hers. “I’m just going to clean you
up a bit alright?” she asked. Camila didn’t respond and Lauren
squeezed her shoulder slightly. Camila looked up at Lauren who
tried to smile at her encouragingly. “Camz?” Lauren asked
carefully. “Is that ok?” Camila looked puzzled for a moment
before turning her attention to Miss Lovato who held up the cloth
in her hands as if in explanation. Camila made no sound or
gesture to protest, so Miss Lovato placed the cloth against the
skin beneath the youngsters’ nose and held it there for a moment
before gently wiping at the quickly drying blood. Camila bought
her head back a little at the moment, surprised, a curious look on
her face as she dipped her chin slightly to look at the cloth, her
hand reaching up as if to take it. “Do you think you can do it?”
Miss Lovato asked her, holding the cloth out patiently. Camila
took the cloth and held it in her hand for a moment, studying the
small red stain which soiled the otherwise white flannel. As if
finally realising what had happened, Camila reached the hand that
Lauren was playing with up to her nose, Lauren releasing it to
allow her to touch the side of her index finger to her nose. She
held it there for barely an instant before lowering it again to look
at the faint red mark which had transferred across on to her skin.
 “Shhhhiiitt.” Camila drawled as she lifted the cloth to her upper
lip and began to rub at it lightly. Camila had managed to clear
most of her face when she lowered it again, but had missed her
chin completely, so Lauren took the cloth from her grasp and
carefully cleaned the blood which was currently sullying her
otherwise perfect features.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 3/10 “There,” Lauren said when she’d
finished. She handed the cloth back to the already outstretched
hand of Miss Lovato who received it without hesitation. “Camila,”
Miss Lovato started her voice caring. “The nurse has called your
mom. She’s going to come and get you alright?” Camila nodded
her head, not saying anything and Lauren wasn’t sure if she was
mute or just too disorientated to really understand what was
happening. “Do you remember what happened?” Miss Lovato
probed softly; keen to understand Camila’s perception. Camila
turned her head to look up at Lauren who lifted one side of her
mouth in a smile. “I…ugh,” Camila said, squinting her eyes
together and dropping her head. She reached her right hand up to
her forehead and massaged her brow roughly as though trying to
will the memory back into her consciousness. “That’s ok,” Miss
Lovato said, placing a hand on Camila’s knee to stop her from
dwelling on it. The words seemed to strike a chord with Camila
though because she lifted her gaze from the floor to look at the
teacher, her eyes darting from side to side as if she recollecting
 the events that had just happened. “It’s not…” Camila said and
tears appeared in the corners of her eyes again as she turned to
look at Lauren. “I’m sorry…” she sobbed remembering. “I’m
sorry…God, I didn’t… you shouldn’t…” “Shh…” Lauren soothed,
pulling Camila into her side again and kissing her brow softly with
her lips. “You don’t need to apologise. It’s fine.” “I’m sorry,”
Camila apologised again, reaching the heel of her hand up to her
head and pressing it against her temple firmly. Camila grimaced
and Lauren shared an understanding look with Miss Lovato. “Do
you have a headache Camila?” Miss Lovato questioned sensitively,
placing the back of her hand to Camila’s forehead as if checking
her temperature. “I always have a headache,” Camila
commented, pressing the heel of her hand in to her temple once
more. “It never really goes away, not completely.” “You feel a
little hot,” Miss Lovato noted matter of factly. “Are you feeling
alright otherwise?” “She’s not been sleeping,” Lauren answered
on Camila’s behalf as she dropped her head in to her hands,
covering her eyes with her hands for a moment. “Her doctor has
changed a lot of her medications around and the new prescription
isn’t really helping to manage her symptoms. She’s been in a lot of
pain recently.” Miss Lovato nodded in acknowledgement. “How
bad is your headache at the moment?” Miss Lovato asked Camila
who had lifted her face out of her hands once more. “Bad,”
Camila admitted. “It’s…like a nine out of ten.” “What do you
normally take for it?” Miss Lovato asked. “Can you have
something?” Camila shook her head, her eyes closed. “I’ve already
taken what I can,” Camila informed her. “I can’t take anything else
for another couple of hours.” “Ok,” Miss Lovato said, her eyes
narrowing in thought. “Let me see what I can do.” With that Miss
Lovato stood up and made her way back into the school nurses
office to speak to her. Once she’d disappeared, Camila lifted her
gaze to meet Lauren’s and she pushed herself back a little so that
she could look at her properly. “I’m so sorry Lauren,” Camila
apologised again. “Jesus…I’m such a mess…” “You are a mess
Camz,” Lauren replied her tone serious but her features
demonstrating a warm smile. “You’re in one hell of a fucking state
to be honest.” “I know,” Camila acknowledged a small smile
creeping on to her own lips at Lauren’s expression. “I know…I’m
sorry…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 4/10 “I want to help,” Lauren told her
earnestly. “I really want to be able to help you but, I don’t think I
can.” Lauren shared with her. “I don’t know what to do Camz,”
Lauren continued. “It scares me when I see you like that, when I
hear you saying those things…” “I’m sorry,” Camila repeated
again, because it was true and she didn’t know what else to say.
“Please tell me that you didn’t mean them?” Lauren asked her
hopefully, although she knew deep down that Camila did.
“I…can’t,” Camila told her as Miss Lovato came back outside with
an ice pack which she’d wrapped in a towel. “Here,” Miss Lovato
 said gesturing for Camila to tilt her head forward slightly. “Try
this.” She placed the ice pack on the back of Camila’s neck and
held it there for a moment until Camila reached up with her own
hand to take over. They sat there for a while, in relative silence,
Lauren not wanting to broach the previous topic with Camila
whilst Miss Lovato was present. Camila’s headache eased a little
bit with the use of the ice pack but she still had that dull ache
which always pressed at her temples oppressively. Eventually
Camila’s mom arrived and Miss Lovato explained what had
happened during lunch. Sinu took Camila home after promising
Lauren that she could visit after school but no sooner, knowing
that she’d ideally want to accompany her home now. Once they’d
left, Lauren made a move to head to her next class but Miss
Lovato stopped her. “Lauren can I talk to you for a minute?” she
asked, gesturing for her to return to the seat she’d recently
occupied. Lauren descended into it hesitantly as Miss Lovato sat
herself down in the vacant one beside her. “Is something wrong?”
Lauren asked nervously. “I’m sorry about what happened? I don’t
even know what happened really…one minute she was ok and the
next…well, you saw…” “You don’t have anything to apologise for,”
Miss Lovato reassured her compassionately. “What just
happened, it wasn’t your fault, ok?” Lauren nodded her head in
acknowledgement of Miss Lovato’s words. “Camila has a lot of
problems,” Miss Lovato commented, watching Lauren’s face for
her reaction. “She can’t control her emotions sometimes. It’s not
 her fault.” She added. “She is dealing with a lot, probably more
than any other student at this school.” Miss Lovato noted. “She’s
trying,” Lauren said feeling like she should defend Camila. “She
is…” “I know,” Miss Lovato interrupted. “I know she is. I’m not
blaming her or upset with her about what happened. I spend a lot
of time with Camila and I understand what she’s dealing with and
how well she is doing by just being present at school some days.”
Miss Lovato shared. “I’m just concerned.” She finished. “I am
too.” Lauren admitted. “No,” Miss Lovato said placing a hand on
Lauren’s knee. “Not about Camila,” she clarified, “about you.”
“Me?” Lauren asked surprised. “Why?” “Don’t get me wrong,”
Miss Lovato explained. “I’m obviously concerned about Camila
too, but, her problems and her struggles are obvious and she has
a lot of support from various different faculty members and
professionals. She’s got her family and her friends…” Miss Lovato
paused for a moment and Lauren just stared back at her in return,
waiting for her to continue. “Who do you have supporting you
Lauren?” Miss Lovato asked her sensitively. “I’m fine,” Lauren
said, “I have my friends and my family,” she informed her teacher
but Miss Lovato could hear the doubt in here voice and Lauren
read it on her face. “I don’t need any help.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 5/10 “Lauren,” Miss Lovato said sadly.
“Camila is depressed. She has a lot of residual physical disabilities
and some behavioural problems as a result of the accident. Her
 mood fluctuates depending on the day and that’s ok, because
she’s still recovering but, I’m worried about how being around her
is affecting you.” “I don’t understand,” Lauren said honestly. “It
doesn’t affect me…Camila’s the one that…” “You think that,” Miss
Lovato cut her off smoothly, her voice kind. “Lauren I know that
you really care about Camila…” “I love her,” Lauren admitted and
Miss Lovato tilted her head to the side a small smile on her lips.
“I’m in love with her.” “I can see that,” Miss Lovato replied, not
judging, not shocked or disgusted, but understanding and
empathetic. She’d known that Camila and Lauren had been dating
ever since it happened. It didn’t bother her in the slightest. She
paused for a moment lifting her hand and placing it on Lauren’s
shoulder. “I’ve spent a lot of time with Camila over the last few
months Lauren,” Miss Lovato eventually went on. “You are such a
positive influence in her life and so supportive of her. She
depends on you for a lot. I’m just concerned that she is too
dependent on you.” “I don’t mind though,” Lauren responded
without hesitation. “I want to help her.” “That’s very admirable of
you Lauren,” Miss Lovato praised, “but you have to think about
yourself in this as well. You have to look out for you.” “I am,”
Lauren said feeling tears prick at her eyes but uncertain why. “It’s
not too much for me. I can manage…” “Now,” Miss Lovato agreed,
“but Lauren, depression is hard on any relationship, whether that
be friends or other. Even grown adults struggle to navigate it
easily. Camila’s moods, her words, over time they’ll start to get to
 you.” “They won’t,” Lauren said, her voice quiet, lacking the
conviction of before. “Lauren I think that they already are,” Miss
Lovato observed as a tear slid down Lauren’s cheek. “She doesn’t
mean them,” Lauren defended. “It’s not personal…it’s…she’s
just…she’s so angry sometimes…at herself.” “You take it
personally though,” Miss Lovato said rubbing her arm
comfortingly. “You get hurt because of her.” “It’s not her fault,”
Lauren said in defence, wiping at her eyes. “She doesn’t know
how else to express herself so she…lashes out sometimes and she
shouts…not at me…it’s never aimed at me, not really, I know
that.” “Watching her hurt herself, is just as painful, if not more
sometimes, than being the recipient of her irritation and her
rage.” Miss Lovato said knowingly. “It upsets you because you feel
like you’re failing at making her happy, but, her depression is not
because of failure on your part. You need to know that.” “She is
happy,” Lauren said crying openly now. “Sometimes there are
days where it’s almost like nothing ever happened to her…”
“They’re rare though aren’t they?” Miss Lovato asked
perceptively. “They’re there,” Lauren countered wiping at her
eyes. “They might be few and far between but they make all the
bad days’ worth it…she’s like a different person when she’s
happy….she’s…” Lauren swallowed hard, her words failing her,
unable to explain. “Ilove her,” Lauren said simply. “All of her.
When she’s at her worst and her best…” Miss Lovato sighed sadly.
“Lauren I’m not asking you to stop seeing her,” Miss Lovato
reassured her, sensing Lauren’s obvious concern. “I just want you
to be careful. Camila leans on you for everything and she doesn’t
understand or realise the affect that her mood has on you. It’s not
because she doesn’t care, she’d be devastated if she knew she’d
hurt you because, you can see, she really cares about you too,
but, she can’t…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 6/10 “I know,” Lauren interrupted. “I read
up on head injuries and traumatic brain injuries, I’m pretty much
an expert now.” “She can’t perceive how her behaviour affects
other people sometimes,” Miss Lovato went on. “If you’re not
careful Lauren you could end up growing to resent her and I’m
worried what she might do if she doesn’t have the person that
she’s become so reliant on.” Miss Lovato left the implication
hanging between them but Lauren understood. Miss Lovato was
worried that if Camila’s depression didn’t resolve, if she continued
to lash out and push back at Lauren then she’d start to resent her
and they’d grow apart. She was concerned that if that happened
Camila wouldn’t have the support that she’d become so
dependent on and that with her previous history and suicidal
thoughts it might be the straw the breaks the camels’ back, so to
speak. “Talk to me,” Miss Lovato encouraged. “Any time you need
to get something of your chest, or you need some advice, please
come and find me.” She offered kindly. “I want to be that support
for you Lauren alright?” she said. “As strong as you think that you
 are and as much as you don’t think you need any help, everyone
needs someone to look out for their interests. Camila is incapable
of doing that for you, as much as she might want to.” Miss Lovato
explained. “She has to focus on herself. She needs to in order to
move past this and get better.” “She’s not selfish though,” Lauren
protested. “She’s so generous and thoughtful when she’s happy.”
“When she’s happy,” Miss Lovato emphasized meaningfully,
“because when she’s not, all her thoughts are preoccupied on
herself and that’s when she doesn’t consider her actions or words
towards you.” She finished. “It’s not intentional I know, but, that’s
when I want you to talk to me. You’re not alone Lauren. We all
want the same thing for Camila.” Miss Lovato paused
momentarily. “It’s just that I want something for you too.” Miss
Lovato finished and Lauren nodded her head in understanding.
“Ok,” she promised. “Thank you. I will. I know we discussed it
before but I promise I will this time.” Lauren continued. Lauren
stood up to go to her next period but Miss Lovato stayed her by
reaching up and pulling gently on Lauren’s wrist as she too stood
up. “Lauren,” she said seriously. “I’m really proud of you. I just
wanted to tell you that. I really admire who you are.” Lauren
smiled through her tears. “Stay in there,” Miss Lovato said
seriously. “Stay true to who you are through all this and you’ll be
fine, you and Camila. She might not seem it sometimes but she is
a fighter and she loves you. If she can’t do it for herself she’ll do it
for you.” “How do you know that?” Lauren asked. “She depends
 on you,” Miss Lovato stated simply. “You might not realise it yet
but you depend on her just as much as she’s does you, and
despite what she lacks, Camila is perceptive to that.” Lauren
smiled before throwing her arms around Miss Lovato grateful for
her words. Miss Lovato, initially surprised, soon wrapped her arms
around Lauren, hugging her comfortingly. “Thanks,” Lauren said
appreciatively. “You’re welcome,” Miss Lovato said releasing her
and she accompanied Lauren to her next class, providing an
excuse to her teacher for her tardiness in person. Lauren suffered
the rest of school in a state of fervent agitation, desperate for the
final bell to ring so that she could finally go and see Camila.
Finally, the blessed signal came and Lauren hastily made her way
over to Camila’s house, knocking lightly on the door, her feet
shifting beneath her anxiously whilst she waited for an answer.
After was seemed like a lifetime, Camila’s mom opened the door
and greeted her, inviting Lauren inside and informing her that
Camila was upstairs in her room. “How is she?” Lauren asked
tentatively. “Is she any better this afternoon?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 7/10 “She’s…about the same,” Sinu
answered honestly, gesturing for Lauren to go on upstairs. Lauren
made her way up the familiar stairs to Camila’s room, pushing the
door, which had been pulled to; open quietly, the lock having
been removed immediately following the events of two weeks
ago. On entering the room, Lauren saw Camila lying on her left
side in the bed, her small form enveloped by her duvet, her hoody
visible at the back of her neck as she slept. Lauren smiled to
herself at the sight of her girlfriend, Camila’s relaxed expression
and soft features temporarily concealing her inner turmoil. Lauren
stepped further in to the room, pushing the door closed gently
behind her and made her way over to Camila’s bed, kicking off her
shoes and crawling onto the mattress to lie beside Camila. Lauren
lowered herself on to her right shoulder so that she was facing
her girlfriend, their faces only a few feet apart. Lauren treasured
Camila’s peaceful appearance, enjoyed watching her chest rise
slowly, her breathing easy and unperturbed rather than fast and
panicked as it had been earlier. Lauren reached her hand up and
gently stroked Camila’s brow with her fingertips, powerless to
abstain from contact when she was so close and her soft, smooth
skin was beckoning her like the beacon of a lighthouse. Camila’s
face twitched a little under Lauren’s touch and her eyes flickered
for a moment causing Lauren to hold her breath, worried that
she’d woken her. She released it slowly when Camila remained
asleep, only to curse inwardly when the sensation of Lauren’s
exhaled breath on her face caused Camila’s eyes to flutter open
drowsily, their faces so close together. Camila smiled sleepily at
Lauren, her eyelids only half open, her mouth pursed slightly, her
features still relaxed. “Hi,” Camila greeted her voice raspy and
deep from sleep. “Hi,” Lauren smiled back, reaching up and
brushing Camila’s brow with her fingertips again. “I’m sorry. I
didn’t mean to wake you.” Lauren apologised. “I wasn’t sleeping,”
Camila protested lamely, closing her eyes again. “Oh you
weren’t?” Lauren questioned teasingly, “my mistake.” Camila
opened her eyes to look at Lauren and she felt her heart flutter at
the sight of Camila’s bleary eyes as they fixed on her. Camila
reached her hand up, her control uncoordinated and searching, to
find Lauren’s face and she stroked the tip of Lauren’s nose with
her fingertip once she found it, a sluggish smile on her face. “Ilike
your nose,” Camila said still half asleep. “It’s cute.” “You’re cute,”
Lauren countered and her heart fluttered again at the sight of
Camila’s mouth lift up into a smile once more. Camila moved her
hand, lightly touching Lauren’s face, studying every line, every
feature through sleep glazed eyes. Her fingers gently traced the
contours of Lauren’s lips before making their way up to Lauren’s
brow and tracing the outline of her piercing green eyes. “You’re
really pretty,” Camila said finally as though she’d been drawing
that conclusion for the last few minutes. Lauren shuffled a little
closer to Camila on the bed, resting her forehead against her
girlfriends so that the tips of their noses were touching. She
reached up her hand to stroke Camila’s cheek and smiled when
she saw her close her weary eyes again. Lauren dipped her head
to plant a soft kiss on Camila’s lips and wasn’t surprised when she
didn’t reciprocate, her chest rising slowly and evenly as she
settled back to sleep again. Lauren stroked the bridge of Camila’s
nose lightly and she scrunched it up in response an adorable
 expression on her face as she opened her eyes again to look at
Lauren. “Hi,” Camila said still sleepy. “Hi again,” Lauren replied
smiling and this time Camila was the one to initiate the kiss, her
aim sloppy in her exhaustion. Lauren laughed a little as Camila
shifted here position in the bed to rectify her aim and reached up
to place a hand on the side of Lauren’s neck, brushing her skin
there rhythmically with her thumb. “I’m glad that you’re here,”
Camila said, her voice quiet and throaty, her eyes flicking closed
once again spent.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62278724853/trialsand-
tribulationschapter26 8/10 “I’ll always be here Camz,” Lauren told
her sincerely, reaching a hand up to rub Camila’s uppermost arm.
“Itold you that. You won’t get rid of me that easily you know.” “I
know,” Camila yawned and she kissed Lauren again sighing in to it
contentedly. “We need to talk about today,” Lauren said to her
seriously, her hand finding its way up to Camila’s forehead to
trace the outline of her scar like it always seemed to do. She was
grateful for Miss Lovato’s support, for her kind words and her
concern but Lauren had made a promise to Camila and although
she’d kind of reneged on it in regards to her nosebleeds, Lauren
was going to stay true to her oath. If she was going to talk to
anyone about things, it would be Camila. “Ok,” Camila
acknowledged, her eyes still closed. “Tomorrow though,” Camila
said, her eyes fluttering halfopen again. “Camila you’re
depressed,” Lauren stated simply and Camila reached up to try
 and remove the creases of Lauren’s furrowed brow. “I know,”
Camila admitted her eyes dropping closed for a minute before
they reopened. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be.” “It hurts me to see
you in pain,” Lauren shared with her, running her fingertips
through the long strands of hair on the right hand side of Camila’s
head. Camila closed her eyes again in response to Lauren’s touch.
“I never want to hurt you Lauren,” Camila said, opening her eyes
and placing a hand on Lauren’s side, beneath her shirt, which still
had traces of Camila’s blood on it from earlier. “You are the last
person that I would ever…want to hurt,” she said, her voice
trailing off as her eyelids dropped closed again. “Camila…” Lauren
started but she was stunned in to silence by Camila’s next words.
“I love you Lauren,” Camila hummed sincerely, her eyes still
closed, her lids too heavy to lift, exhaustion evident in every fibre
of her being. “Ilove you.” She breathed.
Chapter 27
“Wh…what?” Lauren stammered, moving her head back slightly in
surprise at Camila’s unexpected admission. “What did you just
say?” “I love you,” Camila mumbled drowsily. She was facing
Lauren, her eyes still closed, her voice soft and raspy with sleep.
“You do?” Lauren asked tentatively, her tone quiet and timid.
Camila nodded her head in affirmation before shifting her
position in the bed slightly to snuggle into Lauren further. She
lifted her right hand which was still positioned on Lauren’s left
side, and draped it over her torso fully, her fingertips lightly
 grazing the small of her girlfriends back. “Really?” Lauren asked
still in shock, distrusting her ears. Camila nodded her head again
and pulled Lauren closer to her so that their hips were touching.
Lauren smiled at the obvious exhaustion on Camila’s face, noting
that her girlfriend was now barely awake, her whole body so
evidently craving sleep, her eyes still closed. Lauren sighed at the
sight, desperate to talk to Camila properly about the declaration.
She turned over onto her back, threading her right arm
underneath Camila’s shoulder. Lauren rolled Camila into her side
so that her face was now resting gently on her shoulder and
kissed her softly on the top of her head, her other hand reaching
up to stroke Camila’s cheek with the back of her fingers. Lauren
felt Camila exhale heavily as though she were expelling every
source of stress and concern from her body. She gently moved the
hand which was still lightly brushing Camila’s cheek and traced a
line down the curve of her girlfriends jaw with her index finger,
taking her chin between this and her thumb carefully when she
reached it. Lauren turned Camila’s face up towards her and
planted a tender kiss to her forehead just over her right eye
before moving down to finally take Camila’s lips in her own.
Lauren lingered there for a moment, enjoying the feel of Camila’s
soft lips against her own. Camila responded to the kiss, but barely,
her body desperately trying to drift off to sleep. Lauren noticed
Camila’s right hand move out of the corner of her eye and she
reached up to lightly graze her fingertips across Lauren’s cheek,
 her aim poor and imprecise. Lauren lifted her own hand to take
Camila’s wandering one and began to manipulate her fingers
instinctively, watching as Camila lapses back into unconscious
oblivion once again. Lauren smiled to herself as she watched
Camila, the long lost version of her, hidden away since the
accident in the shadows of the night and the lonely confines of
her bedroom. Here, now, as she slept, Lauren could see the real
Camila, the girl that she’d been back before nightmares corrupted
every dream. Lying in her arms now was the Camila that she knew
still existed, selfassured and confident in slumber, her troubles
forgotten. When she was afforded the opportunity of undisturbed
sleep, when her dreams are kind and her worries rested, Camila
was just like any other girl their age. Lauren knew that was what
Camila wanted more than anything, to feel normal and ordinary.
When the rest of their peers were trying so hard to stand out, to
be extraordinary and unique, Camila wanted nothing more than
to blend in. Lauren felt a tear slide down her cheek at the thought
of Camila’s struggles, wondering why someone that she found so
exceptional would ever wish to be anything less than that. Lauren
knew that Camila was special, she’d felt it the moment that they’d
met, but,
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 2/9 in that brief meeting she’d never
realised precisely how remarkable her girlfriend would turn out to
be, how special she truly was, how great. Watching Camila now as
 she slept after having finally heard the three words from her lips
that she’d so desperately wanted to, Lauren tried to remember
another time when she’d ever felt so happy. Every other memory
that she recalled holds Camila firmly in its core and she realised
that Miss Lovato’s words were true. Camila may depend on
Lauren for support but, Lauren was just as equally, if not more,
dependent and enamoured with her. Camila held the key to
Lauren’s happiness, she was solely responsible for safeguarding
Lauren’s heart and it would live and die with her. “Ilove you too,”
Lauren said happily. Lauren kissed Camila on the forehead again,
another tear escaping the corner of her eye as she watched the
brunette, a content expression on her face. Camila shifted slightly
against Lauren, the touch of her lips waking her a little. Camila
moved a little and nuzzled her face against Lauren’s neck, kissing
it softly with her lips, semiconscious, still fighting the inevitable
demand of sleep. Always fighting, Lauren thought. “Go to sleep,”
Lauren commanded gently, reaching up and stroking Camila’s hair
soothingly. Camila shook her head against the crook of Lauren’s
neck in protest stubbornly. “Camz,” Lauren whispered softly. “You
should sleep.” She leant down and kissed Camila’s brow delicately
over the scar on her forehead, waiting patiently, her other hand
still getting lost in the long silky strands of Camila’s hair, until her
breaths deepen and Lauren can feel the gentle rise and fall of
Camila’s chest against her body. Lauren watched as Camila
returned to her once more, glimpses of the untroubled girl that
 she used to be showing through in her current state. These are
the moments, Lauren thought. This is what makes all the pain and
the heartache worth it. As hard and as painful as the bad days can
be, there were moments, moments like this which elated Lauren
to heights that she’s never experienced before. Moments which
made her feel infinite, like she could get lost in them forever and
never feel anything but pure, unadulterated happiness and love.
These moments negated everything else that had happened. They
were so unsullied and vibrant, so strong and imposing that
experiencing just one of them voided a hundred negative
incidents. When Camila finally woke again, she found her head
resting in Lauren’s lap, one arm draped across her girlfriends’
knees and her face turned in the opposite direction to Lauren’s
body in the direction of the window. Camila turned her face
slightly; pushing her nose against Lauren’s hip before raising her
eyes to look up at her girlfriend who was sat resting against the
head of the bed, looking down at her. Lauren reached down to
brush Camila’s hair out of her eyes and smiled at the confused
and still somewhat tired expression which appeared on her face.
“Hi sleepy head,” Lauren greeted her cheerfully and Camila
moved her arm to rub at her eyes, her knuckles wiping the sleep
from them purposefully. “How long was I asleep?” Camila asked
huskily. Lauren raised her eyebrow faintly at how sexy Camila’s
hoarse and raspy voice made her sound. “Four hours,” Lauren
answered and Camila squinted over at the alarm clock on her
nightstand to verify her words, wincing slightly as she changed her
position a little. “You stayed here all that time?” Camila
questioned rolling off Lauren and on to her back, stretching out
her stiff muscles with relief. “Weren’t you bored?” “No,” Lauren
answered, a small smile on her lips as she watched Camila bring
both arm over her head to touch the head of the bed, a small
portion of the soft flesh on her abdomen being exposed as her
hoody rode up with the movement. “I’ve been watching the TV.”
Lauren told her plainly. “Besides, I like watching you sleep,” she
commented. “You always look so peaceful.” Camila rolled back
over, burying her face into Lauren’s hip again and wrapping her
right arm across her lap, tucking her hand under Lauren’s pelvis.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 3/9 “It’s because you’re here,” Camila
muttered into Lauren’s body so that her voice was muffled. “I’ve
only ever slept well when you’ve been here.” “This has only
happened like…twice,” Lauren laughed and Camila nodded her
head against Lauren’s stomach before pushing herself up onto her
arms and kissing Lauren on the lips, hesitantly at first and then
deeply, sighing as they separated. “What did I do to deserve
you?” Camila asked, studying Lauren’s features and stroking the
side of her face with the knuckles of her hand. Lauren smiled at
the question having often asked it herself in regards to Camila. “I
ask myself the same thing every day,” Lauren replied and Camila
leant up to kiss her again, her lips parting to greet Lauren’s
 probing tongue eagerly as it traced her bottom lip. Camila sat up
onto her knees, moving her trunk towards Lauren and lowering
her hand, which had been caressing Lauren’s cheek down to rest
against the side of her neck. Camila’s other hand found its way to
Lauren’s side and gripped her shirt tightly, pulling her close again.
Camila bought her weight forward, pushing Lauren back against
the head of the bed, her right knee lifting up and over to sit
between Lauren’s legs. Lauren felt herself shudder at the
unexpected contact of Camila’s knee with her core and pulled her
head back quickly, to look at her girlfriend who was seemingly
oblivious to where her leg was positioned. Camila met Lauren’s
inquiring look, a confused expression on her face in response to
the sudden estrangement of their lips, her pupils dilated. “Camz,”
Lauren breathed heavily, a sudden realisation coming to her. “Do
you remember what we were talking about before you went to
sleep?” Lauren said searchingly. Camila scrunched her brow
apparently unable to remember and Lauren felt her stomach
drop. “You said something,” Lauren pressed further and Camila’s
face spread into a huge beam, her eyes sparkling mischievously. “I
said that Ilove you,” Camila replied joyfully and Lauren’s smile
soon matched the one she wore. Camila moved her leg, twisting
her body so that her back was resting against the head of the bed
and she was shoulder to shoulder with Lauren. She stretched out
her hand to take Lauren’s and started to rub the back of it
rhythmically with her thumb, not meeting Lauren’s sudden
 scrutiny. “I know you told me to wait to say it,” Camila said
apologetic, her eyes firmly fixed on their entwined hands in her
lap, “but, I couldn’t wait any more.” She went on. “I had to tell
you how Ifelt, especially after today and how I acted…” Lauren
bent forward to kiss Camila, cutting her off. “It’s ok,” Lauren
reassured her. “It’s more than ok.” “It is?” Camila questioned
uncertainly and Lauren nodded her head in response. “Yes, of
course it is,” Lauren told her seriously. “If you mean it?” she
questioned. Camila rubbed the inside of Lauren’s arm with her
free hand and finally lifted her eyes to meet the same striking
green that she was so familiar with. “I do,” Camila replied simply,
her eyes never leaving Lauren’s, silently trying to demonstrate
their truth. “How can you?” Lauren asked her, not wanting to
doubt Camila’s words but curious all the same. “You always said
that you didn’t think you could love someone else until you learnt
to love yourself again,” Lauren started inquiringly. “Today you
said that you hated yourself Camz,” Lauren pointed out.
“So…what happened?” she questioned. Camila shrugged in
response. “I guess it’s easier to love someone else than it is to
love yourself,” Camila stated thoughtfully. “I think perhaps that’s
true,” Lauren agreed, contemplating Camila’s words. “People
seem to be able to identify the things that they don’t like about
themselves very easily,” Lauren noted. “What’s funny is that it is
often those things which other people like them for.” She finished
pointedly, fixing her eyes on Camila’s.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 4/9 “I don’t always hate myself,” Camila
replied, dropping her eyes to look at their entwined hands again.
“There are days that I sometimes wake up and feel like I’m almost
back to normal…” Camila paused for a moment before adding
reflectively, “Whatever that means.” She raises her deep
chocolate orbs to look at Lauren again. “Other days I find it hard
to get out of bed,” Camila admits truthfully and Lauren pulls her
into her side, squeezing her shoulder tightly. “You’ll get there
eventually,” Lauren told her optimistically. “I mean, despite
everything that’s happened over the last couple of weeks you still
have the picture from our group date on the wall.” Camila looked
over to the small line of photo booth pictures that had been taken
at the arcade two weeks ago. “You didn’t take them down Camz,”
Lauren stated smiling at the realisation that came with the words.
“That means something.” Camila continued to study the pictures,
observing the happy expression on her face. “I don’t think that
progress has been lost,” Lauren continued. “You didn’t have any
pictures on your wall when I met you,” Lauren informed her.
“Then you put those up,” Lauren went on. “Now, even after
everything that’s been happening. After all the nosebleeds and
the doctor’s appointments, all the stress that accompanied them,
you’ve still got those pictures up Camz,” Lauren finished. She
kissed the top of Camila’s head lightly. “You’ve just had a setback
today,” Lauren said simply. “That’s all.” “I’m going to see my
therapist tomorrow,” Camila admitted to Lauren. “My mom made
me another appointment as soon as we got home because she
was worried that I was slipping…” “I think it’s probably a good
idea for you to talk to her,” Lauren interceded her tone sincere
and encouraging. “I know,” Camila agreed. “I need to go back. I
can’t go on like I have been for the last couple of weeks.” She
acknowledged. “I can’t remember the last time I really felt like
myself.” Lauren looked over at the picture on the wall and noticed
the one of Dinah pretending to beat up Normani in the
background, her and Camila kissing in the front of it. She bit her
bottom lip uneasily before she asked, “Do you think that maybe
making things up with Dinah would help?” Lauren asked
tentatively, unsure of how Camila would react. Camila sighed, her
eyes fixing on the same picture Lauren had been looking at. “I
can’t,” she said simply. “Camz,” Lauren said, her hand brushing at
Camila’s brow before settling on her temple. “You and Dinah have
been friends since you were born. Are you really willing to throw
away everything you two had to make a point?” “I’m not trying to
make a point,” Camila replied looking back at Lauren, who was
stroking the side of her head automatically. “Then what are you
doing?” Lauren asked her genuinely interested. “Are you really
too proud to admit that perhaps you overreacted?” Camila gave
Lauren a look that made Lauren think that she’d hit close to the
mark with her observation. “Camz,” Lauren said. “Dinah would
forgive you in a heartbeat; you know that…she loves you.” “I
 know,” Camila replied. “That’s the problem.” “What?” Lauren
asked her. “Why?” “She shouldn’t have to forgive me,” Camila
shared with Lauren. “You’re right, I did overreact. She was just
doing the right thing…” “You’re punishing yourself,” Lauren said in
understanding. “You’re not punishing her…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 5/9 “I don’t deserve a friend like her,”
Camila finally vocalised. “She’s done nothing but be there for me
and I completely turned on her for continuing to do exactly that.”
“You’re an idiot,” Lauren said simply and Camila raised her
eyebrow. “Would you please stop punishing yourself? You might
think that you’re doing Dinah a favour and that perhaps she’s
better off without a friend like you but, you know what? By being
an idiot you’re actually penalizing her.” Lauren squeezed Camila’s
hand pointedly. “You’re distancing yourself from her because you
think she’ll be happier if you’re not friends,” Lauren said, “but,
she’s miserable because all she does is worry about you and miss
you…” “Lauren,” Camila interrupted, not wanting to hear the
truth spoken so blatantly. “You’re an idiot,” Lauren repeated,
leaning down to kiss Camila on the lips briefly. “Make up with
Dinah,” she instructed. “I promise, you’ll feel better for it Camz.
You two are meant to be friends….you’re both so weird…” Lauren
joked and she felt her heart flutter as Camila laughed in response.
“Ilove you,” Camila said again, the words coming easily. She kissed
Lauren again on the lips, her hand dropping to find Lauren’s hip,
 her face smiling as she did so. “I love you too,” Lauren replied as
Camila hopped off the bed and moved over to plug her iPod into a
docking system on her desk. “What are you doing?” Lauren asked
questioningly. “I want you to listen to something,” Camila
informed her, finding the right song and then turning to look at
Lauren. “You asked me earlier how I could love you,” Camila
reminded her. “I want to share something with you.” “Ok,” Lauren
said interestedly. “Well, you know how you told me that
‘Everything Has Changed’ reminded you of me?” Camila asked
her. “Yeah,” Lauren said recalling the day she’d performed it for
her in the very room she was in now. “So, I was listening to my
iPod in the hospital the other week,” Camila told her. “I’d had a
really bad day…the doctors had done a lot of investigations and
tests. They’d taken blood and my arm was sore from all the
needle sticks that I’d had. I had a pounding headache from the
overhead fluorescent lights and a part of me just wanted to curl
up into a ball and go to sleep forever.” Camila continued. “I was
so bored and lonely. I felt like an invalid because I couldn’t get up
to go to the bathroom by myself I’d get so dizzy.” Camila paused
for a moment shaking her head from side to side. “Anyway,”
Camila said noting that she’d become side tracked. “I had my iPod
on and it was on shuffle, then this song came on and it reminded
me of you…for the first time that day I’d forgotten all about the
pain I was in and everything that was going on…and I smiled,”
Camila told her. “I smiled for the first time in three days because
 of you, because of just the thought of you. It reminded me of the
way that you make me feel and how I always hate when you have
to go home and we’re apart.” “What song is it?” Lauren asked
curiously and Camila hit play before making her way back over to
the bed and returning to her previous position beside Lauren.
“You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down. You, you
enchant me even when you’re not around. If there, there are
boundaries, I will try to knock them down. I’m latching on babe,
now I know what I have found. I feel we’re close enough, I wanna
lock in your love, Ifeel we’re close enough, I wanna to lock in your
love, your love.” “Do you know it?” Camila asked and Lauren
shook her head, a smile on her face as she listened to the lyrics
and it continued. “Now I’ve got you in my space, I won’t let go of
you. You got me shackled in my embrace;I’m latching on to you.”
“I feel so encaptured, got me wrapped up in your touch. Feel so
enamoured; hold me tight within your clutch. How did you do it?
You got me losing all my breath. How did you give me, to have my
heart beat out my chest?
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 6/9 “Now I’ve got you in my space, I won’t
let go to you. Got me shackled in my embrace, I’m latching on to
you. Now I’ve got you in my space, I won’t let go to you. Got me
shackled in my embrace, I’m latching on to you, I’m latching on to
you, I’m latching on to you, I’m latching on to you, I’m latching on
to you….” Once the song had finished, Camila jumped up off the
 bed again and switched her iPod off, turning around to face
Lauren who had tears streaked down her face. “Are you ok?”
Camila asked concerned, heading back to the bed and sitting
down in front of Lauren quickly. She wrapped an arm around
Lauren’s shoulders, hugging her closely. “That song reminded you
of me?” Lauren asked her. “Yeah,” Camila confirmed. “It made me
realise that I loved you….not in the same way that I love Dinah
and the others, but a different way. I like spending time with
them, but, when I spend time with you it’s…better somehow.”
Camila paused for a minute to gather her thoughts. “I know I’ve
only known you a few months,” Camila told her, “but I think about
you all the time.” Camila continued. “I know that probably sounds
creepy but…” “It doesn’t,” Lauren interrupted and Camila smiled
at the reassurance. “When I’m in pain I think about you and it
helps me to forget it,” Camila went on buoyed by Lauren’s words.
“If I can’t sleep, I try to picture your face or recall the sound of
your voice telling me to calm down and it soothes me.” Lauren
touched the side of Camila’s face with the palm of her hand and
she reached up to take Lauren’s hand again in her own. “You
make my skin tingle when you touch me,” Camila continued, “and
not in the localised gnawing way that my left arm does. I feel it
everywhere, a light feathery sensation which spreads through me
from limb to limb and makes my stomach flutter like it used to
when I was younger and looking forward to my birthday or
Christmas.” “Camz,” Lauren said quietly. “When you kiss me my
 breath catches in my throat,” Camila told her. “It feels like my
chest is going to explode but, I’m not suffocating, not like in my
nightmares. When you kiss me it feels like…like…” Camila didn’t
get a chance to explain how it felt because Lauren leant forward
and crashed their lips together. She pushed Camila down onto her
back on the bed, propping herself up on her arms so that she was
hovering above her. Lauren sat on Camila’s hips, pressing them
down into the bed with her weight and bed over her girlfriend,
lowering herself onto her forearms to deepen the kiss further.
Lauren felt Camila’s hands on the small of her back, hesitant at
first and then firm, moving up under her shirt to rub small circles
on the soft skin beneath. One of Lauren’s hands found its way to
the side of Camila’s neck and she followed it quickly with her lips,
planting kisses all along Camila’s jawline until she reached the
point where it met the bottom of her ear. Lauren sucked there
gently for a moment, enjoying the feel of Camila as she arched
her back, a small moan escaping her lips, her face buried into
Lauren’s shoulder. Lauren moved her mouth back to Camila’s,
sucking on her bottom lip gently before darting her tongue in to
battle with Camila’s, her opponent just as hungry, just as worthy
in the field. Lauren’s other hand groped at the bottom of Camila’s
hoody, pushing it up slightly to expose Camila’s abdomen and
Lauren moved her fingertips along the soft outline of Camila’s
muscles towards her chest. Camila gasped slightly as Lauren’s
hand cupped her breast, moving across it gently a few times
before it moved down to tug at the bottom of Camila’s hoody, her
other hand joining it and lifting it up slowly. Lauren started to lean
back to separate their lips but Camila followed, keeping the
contact so that she was almost sitting up. Lauren used the
opportunity to pull Camila’s hoody off over her head, the smaller
girl lifting her arms to accommodate the manoeuvre. Lauren
parted their lips for an instant and then pushed Camila back on to
the bed, crashing them together once more for a moment before
kissing a small trail down her neck to her now exposed collar
bone, easily accessible because of the tank top she was
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 7/9 wearing. Lauren noted Camila’s hold
her breath as her lips made their way along her collarbone
towards the middle of her chest. “Lauren,” Camila said, her hands
finding their way to Lauren’s stomach and pushing her back
slightly to stop her. “I’m sor…” Lauren started to say but she
stopped when she noticed the vertical scar in the middle of
Camila’s chest which disappeared beneath the white tank top she
wore. Lauren frowned having never seen it before and pulled the
tank top down slightly using her finger to observe how the scar
continued all the way down until it collided with the middle of
Camila’s bra. “Don’t,” Camila said pulling the fabric of the tank top
up to cover it, embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised
sincerely. “I didn’t know,” she commented truthfully. Lauren saw
tears glisten at the corners of Camila’s eyes and leant forward to
 kiss her on the lips again quickly in an attempt to stop them in
their tracks. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Lauren told her kissing her
forehead and then her cheek in quick succession. “Don’t be
ashamed,” Lauren continued kissing the side of Camila’s neck and
her collarbone once again. “You’re so beautiful,” Lauren told her.
“I hate them,” Camila muttered and Lauren kissed the scar on
Camila’s forehead poignantly. “I don’t,” Lauren told her sitting
back slightly to look at Camila. “I don’t hate them.” Lauren
reiterated and she moved her hand to find the vertical scar
protruding from the top of Camila’s top. “They’re perfect,” Lauren
said tracing the scar with her fingertip. “They’re perfectly
imperfect.” Lauren told her, bending forward to place a soft kiss
on the scar in the middle of Camila’s chest. Lauren heard Camila
sob gently as she sat back up again, but, noticed that Camila had
lifted the bottom of her tank up to expose another scar, running
down the side of left flank. Lauren looked at Camila expectantly
and when she didn’t protest, Lauren moved her hand over the
scar, barely noticeable beneath the touch of her fingers without
the visual confirmation that it existed. “You never told me,”
Lauren said, leaning down to kiss Camila’s stomach. “I didn’t know
how to,” Camila told her honestly, a tear sliding down her cheek.
“Everyone knows about my head injury…it was obvious but…”
Lauren bent over Camila again, kissing her softly on the lips and
then over her tear streaked cheeks. “Don’t cry,” Lauren told her
but that just made Camila cry even more because of the way that
 Lauren could dismiss her perceived imperfections so easily, like
they didn’t matter at all. Lauren kissed Camila’s neck, then her
temple, then her bare shoulder. She kissed Camila all over, small,
chaste kisses across her torso and her face, before finally, bringing
their lips together again, not zealously or eager, but gently and
affectionately. Lauren desperately wanted to make Camila see
what she did when she looked at her, that her scars were not
ugly, that she was not ugly. That she was beautiful and stunning.
Lauren wanted Camila to understand that she could look at her a
hundred times in a day and still be surprised by how breath taking
she was. So she kissed her. “You’re stunning,” Lauren breathed
sitting up as she separated their lips to inhale keenly, her lungs
complaining at the lack of oxygen. “You’re so beautiful Camila,”
Lauren told her, locking eyes with her chocolate brown ones, “and
I’m going to keep telling you until you finally believe it.” She
finished, leaning down to kiss Camila on the lips again firmly. “I
love you,” Lauren said, reaching over and handing Camila her
hoody so she could put it back on. She moved off Camila’s lap and
sat beside her on the bed as Camila put the item over her head,
covering herself back up. “Now it’s time to start loving yourself,”
Lauren said offering Camila a small smile. Camila reciprocated it as
Lauren reached out her hand for her to take. Camila did as bid and
Lauren pulled her closer to her, kissing her on the end of the nose
and then the mouth again. She wrapped her arms around Camila’s
shoulders pulling her into a warm embrace.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62463986059/trialsand-
tribulationschapter27 8/9 “Thank you,” Camila said, resting her
head on Lauren’s shoulder after a moment. “What for?” Lauren
asked her curiously. “For loving me when I can’t,” Camila said
tilting her head up to look at her. “No,” Lauren said, one half of
her mouth turning up into a smile. “Thank you Camila.” “For
what?” Camila asked confused. “For loving me back,” Lauren said
smiling back down at her. A/N: There you go guys….I hope you
enjoy. Just FYI the song is Kodaline’s cover of ‘Latch’ if you were
wondering and wanted a listen x
Chapter 28
“Camz,” Lauren said, taking her girlfriends hand in her own across
the table. They were sat together in the cafeteria at lunch the
following Tuesday and Lauren watched as Camila ignored her
lunch to stare across the room at Dinah who was sat with Ally and
Normani. “This is getting ridiculous,” Lauren noted. “It’s been
almost a week and you’ve still not made up with Dinah…Ithought
that you’d decided to talk to her.” “I did,” Camila confirmed,
averting her eyes back to Lauren who was watching her puzzled.
“So…” Lauren prompted confused, “what happened?” “I
happened,” Camila said in response and Lauren visibly saw the
irritation etched across her face as she spoke. “I don’t
understand,” Lauren admitted frowning. “Ever since I’d discussed
it with you and my therapist last week I’ve been planning to talk
to her,” Camila explained. “It’s just that, every time I’ve tried, I
can’t…” “Camz I know you’re nervous about how she’ll react but I
promise you, Dinah will be fine.” Lauren reassured her. “You’ll be
back to mocking each other in no time, you’ll…” “No,” Camila
interrupted in order to clarify. “I mean, I physically can’t.” “Oh,”
Lauren replied finally understanding. “I see…” she said, not sure
what else to say. Camila groaned as she ran her free hand through
her hair and looked back over at Dinah. “I tried to say ‘hello’ to
her in the hallway yesterday,” Camila admitted as she turned back
to face Lauren who was still watching her with interest. “All that
came out was a few strangled noises,” Camila explained. “I
probably sounded deranged.” “What did she say?” Lauren asked,
not for one moment believing that Dinah wouldn’t have tried to
capitalise on Camila’s sudden attempt to communicate with her
after a prolonged period of estrangement. “She said ‘hi,’” Camila
shared her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment at the
recollection of yesterday’s interaction. “Then she asked me how
I’d been and if I was doing better.” “Camz please tell me you
answered her,” Lauren pleaded, tilting her head in order to try
and read Camila’s face as her girlfriend dropped her gaze to the
table and covered her eyes with her free hand. “I couldn’t,”
Camila replied avoiding Lauren’s searching look. Camila shook her
head slightly from side to side mortified by the memory. “Ijust
stared at her for a minute and then when Itried to speak, nothing
would come out,” Camila told Lauren. “Nothing, not one word.
Not a single sound.” Lauren made a sympathetic face and
squeezed Camila’s hand prompting her to continue with the story.
When Camila didn’t, Lauren asked, “What happened next?” “She
asked me if I was alright,” Camila finally said, lifting her eyes to
meet Lauren’s again. “I think she thought I was about to have a
seizure or something,” Camila went on
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 2/10 thoughtfully. “I couldn’t speak or do
anything so I…I walked off…” Camila finished evidently frustrated
with herself. “Camz,” Lauren said with a mixture of understanding
and disappointment in her voice at Camila’s admission. “You’ve
been doing incredibly over the last week,” Lauren told her
seriously. “I know,” Camila agreed and Lauren smiled at the
words, pleased that she was starting to acknowledge her own
achievements, the small victories that she’d won. “I really think
that increasing my therapy sessions to twice a week has made a
difference,” Camila went on. “I think the doctor increasing the
dose of your antidepressants has helped as well,” Lauren noted. “I
know that you weren’t keen when they suggested it…” Lauren
recollected. “No, but they were right to do it,” Camila admitted. “I
mean, I think it’s really helped me.” She paused for a moment
before adding uncertainly, “but, what do you think?” “Camz,”
Lauren said as she played with her girlfriends’ small fingers in her
own. “The difference between you last week and this week is
huge.” She informed her positively. “You’re like a completely
changed person.” “Ifeel much more like myself,” Camila shared
 honestly. “You’re acting much more like yourself,” Lauren
concurred. “The last couple of weeks you’ve been so withdrawn
and…low,” Lauren said, struggling to think of the appropriate
word to use. “Now when I look at you, the sparkle is back in your
eyes and you’re interested in things again…” “I’m still not a
hundred percent though,” Camila interceded quickly, reluctant to
accept the praise. “No but you’re getting there Camz and that’s
the main thing.” Lauren told her. “Everything finally seems to be
getting back on track.” “I’m so pleased that they’ve finally
managed to sort out my medication properly,” Camila said
delighted. “I think it’s much easier for me to be happy when I’m
not in so much pain or profusely bleeding from my nose.” “Ithink
you’re right,” Lauren replied smiling at Camila. “One nosebleed in
a week is better than eight, right?” Camila asked referring to the
one she’d had during home room last Friday. “Definitely,” Lauren
agreed. “Plus, your doctors think that they should stop completely
once you’ve been on the new pills for a few weeks so, hopefully
that will be the last one.” “Fingers crossed,” Camila said as she
performed the gesture with her free hand. “I’m really proud of
you,” Lauren told Camila genuinely, squeezing her hand again in
support. “I know the last week hasn’t been easy but, you’ve really
tried. I know you don’t really like doctors so I was surprised when
you went back to see them last Thursday about your
medication…” “Well, my mom made me go back to see them,”
Camila confessed, her voice quiet. “She wasn’t satisfied after what
 had happened at school on Wednesday so, really it was her…”
“Yeah, but you still went,” Lauren cut her off. “You shared with
them how you were feeling and they changed your medication
again. Part of the reason you’re doing so much better is because
you opened up and were honest about what was going on and
how you were feeling. I’m proud of you for that Camz and you
should be too.” Lauren reiterated. Camila smiled broadly at
Lauren’s praise and looked back over towards Dinah who had
turned her attention to their table, apparently sensing someone
observing her. Dinah smiled as her eyes met Camila’s and she
offered a small wave in greeting, searching for some kind of
response from her best friend. Camila felt her free hand raise to
return the gesture reflexively and Dinah’s smile grew wider in
response. She looked hesitant for a moment before standing up
from her seat and slowly making her way over to where Camila
and Lauren were sitting. “Shit,” Camila cursed, turning her
attention back to Lauren who was watching Dinah’s approach.
“She’s coming over…” “You’ll be fine,” Lauren reassured her.
“Just…talk to her, alright?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 3/10 “I can’t,” Camila complained under her
breath as Dinah came up beside them, towering over Camila
where she sat. “Hi,” she greeted the pair of them, her eyes darting
between Lauren and Camila in their seats. “Do you mind if I sit
down?” she asked pointing to an empty chair. “Not at all,” Lauren
 answered when Camila said nothing and Dinah lowered herself in
to the chair as an awkward silence fell between them all. Lauren
cast an eye towards Normani and Ally who were sat watching the
interaction with interest from their seats before looking back at
Camila who was looking at Dinah, her mouth opening and closing
as if she was trying to say something. “Hhhiii,” Camila finally
managed to force out and Dinah grinned at the greeting before
looking at Lauren momentarily. She turned her attention back to
Camila and waited patiently for a minute. “Your speech sucks,”
Dinah commented matteroffactly when Camila said nothing
further. “I…yeah,” Camila breathed nodding her head in
agreement. “I thought that maybe you were going to collapse in
the hallway yesterday,” Dinah informed her, having a
conversation on behalf of the two of them and falling easily back
into the habit which she’d had to develop since the accident, “but
you weren’t were you?” Dinah asked. “You just couldn’t speak to
me, could you Mila?” Camila gave Lauren a pointed look before
nodding her head in response to Dinah’s previous question. “I
thought that maybe you’d forgiven me,” Dinah went on. “I mean, I
was secretly hoping that you’d forgiven me. I’m sorry for what I
did Mila. Really I am, but, I was scared that you were sick. I know
that you hate hospitals but, I would never have been able to live
with myself if something had happened to you and I could have
prevented it.” “I…” Camila started but she choked on her words
once again, causing Dinah to continue. “I know that you’re mad at
 me,” Dinah told her. “I know that, but, I’ve really missed you. If I
could go back and change what I did then I would…it’s been
torture watching you the last few weeks. I felt so helpless…I
just…can you please forgive me? I want my best friend back.
Please.” Dinah pleaded. “Nn..no,” Camila said and both Dinah and
Lauren looked taken aback by her response. “Camz,” Lauren said
stunned. “Are you…” “Nnoo,” Camila drawled out again. “I…don’t
forgive…you.” Camila said and Dinah looked hurt at her words.
“Camila,” Lauren scolded, releasing her girlfriends’ hand in
disbelief. “Ok,” Dinah said, nodding her head sadly as she stood
up. “I understand…I just thought that…what with yesterday and
everything…you know what, never mind.” She said turning to
make her way back towards the table she was sharing with Ally
and Normani. “No,” Camila said standing up, her voice firm and
decisive this time, a slight hint of panic and desperation in her
tone. She reached out to grab Dinah’s hand, pulling on it gently to
stop her friend. Dinah turned around to look at Camila, a hopeful
expression on her face. “I…don’t forgive…you,” Camila repeated
her tone serious and confirming the truth behind her words. “You
don’t?” Dinah asked, confused by the combination of Camila’s
words and the kind smile on her face. Camila shook her head but
reached down to unclasp Dinah’s bracelet which was still around
her right wrist. Camila struggled for a moment, her left hand
clumsy and impeded by the splint she wore. Eventually she freed
it from its position and held it up in front of Dinah, nodding her
 head to prompt her friend to take it from her. Dinah did as
requested and took the bracelet back, studying it in the palm of
her hand for a moment, a look of incomprehension on her face.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 4/10 “I’m…ss…sorry,” Camila managed and
Dinah looked at her, a small smile forming on her lips as Camila
repeated more confidently. “I’m…sorry Dinah.” “You are?” Dinah
asked closing her hand around the bracelet for a moment. Camila
nodded in response. “I don’t forgive you.” Camila repeated
placing a hand on Dinah’s outstretched wrist. “You…were right.”
“Mila,” Dinah started but Camila gripped her wrist tighter to stop
her. “I’m sorry.” Camila emphasised again. “I am.” She said
pointedly. “You were right Dinah. I don’t blame you…” Camila
paused for a minute and took a deep breath obviously trying to
compose herself and formulate a proper sentence. “You did
nothing that needs forgiveness,” Camila informed her. “I was
wrong. I overreacted.” Camila met Dinah’s eyes squarely as she
asked, “Can you forgive me?” Dinah actually laughed at Camila’s
ridiculous request, a light joyful chuckle which made Camila raise
her eyebrow in response. Dinah shook her head and spread her
arms out wide, pulling Camila into a tight embrace. “You’re such a
dork,” Dinah chuckled and Lauren smiled as she watched the
exchanged insult before her. Camila buried her forehead into
Dinah’s shoulder, her arms finally finding their way up around her
back to reciprocate the hug. “I’ve missed you,” Camila admitted,
 her arms clutching on to Dinah’s torso. “You have no idea how
much I’ve missed you Mila,” Dinah returned, releasing Camila
from her grip to look at her properly. “Can we please promise to
never fight again?” Dinah asked. “Ifucking hated it.” Camila
nodded her head. “Ok,” she said in agreement smiling brightly,
“but,” she continued her voice taking on a serious tone. “Do
we…should we…talk…about…you know…what happened?” Dinah
shook her head resolutely. “No,” she said. “As far as I’m
concerned it’s water under the bridge, ok?” she asked. “Let’s just
move on and forget it.” “I was…so…unfair though…” Camila
protested, her eyes searching Dinah’s. “We…should talk…” “No,”
Dinah repeated firmly. “It’s done…over.” She said. “I refuse to talk
about it again.” “Dinah…” Camila said, but Dinah held up her wrist
dramatically and reattached the bracelet Camila had returned
around it. “Nah uh,” Dinah cut in pointing to the bracelet. “It’s
done.” “Are…you sure?” Camila asked uncertainly. Dinah shook
her head and gave Lauren a meaningful look. Lauren laughed
along with Dinah who turned back to face Camila and hugged her
again as she said. “I’m sure.” Dinah released Camila again. “Now
stop being an idiot and let it go already.” Dinah instructed her and
Camila smiled at the lighthearted abuse. “Friends?” Camila asked.
“The best,” Dinah replied winking and the pair of them sat down
at the table, Camila holding Dinah’s hand in her own. Ally and
Normani soon came over to join them all, bringing Dinah’s
belongings with them. Finally, after almost three weeks of walking
 on eggshells and awkward encounters, their fractured group was
restored to its former glory. They fell back in to easy conversation,
Camila’s speech returning to her more and more with each
passing minute that they sat in comfortable discussion. Camila
filled Dinah in personally regarding everything that had transpired
since they’d last properly talked, despite the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 5/10 fact that Lauren had been keeping her
up to date throughout their separation. Camila told Dinah and the
rest of the girls about the changes which had occurred since last
week, informing them that she was now making sure that she
took her sleeping pills nightly, even though she hated to, as
tiredness directly correlated with her functional ability and mood.
Dinah teased Camila profusely for the number of dropped calls
she’d received from her since last Thursday in her attempts to
reconcile their friendship, and Camila admitted she’d even walked
round to her house a number of times only to turn around at the
last minute, her nerves getting the better of her. “I was stupid,”
Camila admitted to Dinah, broaching the subject again now that
she could speak properly and despite Dinah’s earlier protests.
“You did the right thing and I knew that,” Camila acknowledged.
“You were just looking out for me and I punished you for that. I
really am an idiot,” Camila commented. “Well duh,” Dinah said
playfully. “I’ve been telling you that for years.” Camila rolled her
eyes at Dinah’s joke and continued. “I put you in a horrible
situation,” Camila said, “I still don’t know how you can forgive me
for it so easily.” “Honestly,” Dinah said serious now. “I’m just
grateful that you’re alright. It was probably one of the most
terrifying things I’ve ever witnessed.” Dinah admitted. “Excluding
all the times I came to the ICU to see you in the hospital.” Dinah
added. “They were…on a whole other level of scary.” “I really feel
like I need to make things up to you somehow,” Camila told her
genuinely, still feeling guilty about her behaviour towards her
friend. “Us being friends again and you being alright are more
than enough for me,” Dinah replied. “I mean that alright? Please
don’t dwell on it anymore Mila. I’m not lying when I say that I’ve
moved on already.” “I’ll try,” Camila promised and Dinah placed a
hand on her shoulder supportively. The girls sat together for the
remainder of lunch, separating when the bell rang and they had to
go to their respective classes. The rest of the day passed by and
after her extra study session with Miss Lovato, Camila met up with
Lauren by her locker. “Hey,” Lauren greeted, kissing Camila on the
lips in greeting as she opened her locker to deposit some of her
books. “Hi,” Camila responded smiling. “How was the library?”
she asked, picking up her math textbook from her locker and
putting it into her bag to take home. “Quiet,” Lauren replied
simply. “Did you get much studying done?” Camila asked her as
she zipped up her bag and closed her locker, turning to face
Lauren. “Not really,” Lauren told her. “I just spent the time
reading. I thought we could study together at mine this evening
 instead.” “Ok,” Camila agreed. “I need to go through some math
revision.” She informed Lauren. “Mr Lopez is allowing me to
retake the test I failed last week with Miss Lovato tomorrow after
school.” “I wish I could retake mine,” Lauren said in response.
“Why?” Camila asked surprised. “You always get an A.” “Not last
week,” Lauren informed her. “I got a B minus.” “Lauren,” Camila
said in disbelief. “You didn’t tell me that.” “I forgot,” Lauren
admitted honestly. “You just reminded me now.” She paused
momentarily thinking. “It’s the first B I’ve ever gotten actually,”
Lauren mused thoughtfully. “I’ve always had straight A’s
otherwise.” “What happened?” Camila asked already guessing.
“Was it because of me?” “No,” Lauren told her, because
truthfully, she didn’t attribute the grade to Camila at all. “It was,
wasn’t it?” Camila said distraught. “Lauren your grades are
important to you. You can’t let my problems affect them.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 6/10 “One B won’t kill me,” Lauren laughed
at Camila’s concern. “B minus,” Camila commented dryly.
“Whatever,” Lauren replied waving her hand dismissively. “It
won’t happen again. It was just a blip.” “Perhaps you’re spending
too much time with me,” Camila told her seriously. “You need to
study…” “Camila,” Lauren laughed again. “Most of the time we
spend together is spent studying you know…” she informed her
lightly. “I don’t know if you realise it but the majority of time
you’re not at therapy or school is spent bent over a book…” “I
 have to though,” Camila said defensively. “I need to study or else
I’ll fail the year and then where would I be? Right back here again
repeating it.” “I’m not complaining,” Lauren reassured her, placing
a hand on the side of Camila’s face. “I’m just saying that it was an
anomaly that’s all. I spend so much time studying whilst I wait for
you after school and at home with you that it’s not going to be
something that becomes a habit.” She kissed Camila on the
forehead lightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not.” “You used to
worry about it,” Camila said knowing that Lauren prided herself
on being a straight A student. “You used to care Lauren. You were
never this complacent about your grades before.” “It’s just a
grade,” Lauren responded taking Camila’s hand in her own and
leading her down the hallway towards the school exit. “It’s not
that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. You should know
that more than anyone Camz. There are far more important
things to think about.” “Lauren,” Camila scolded. “Your grade is
still important even if it isn’t life or death.” “Look,” Lauren said
pausing as they made their way out onto the steps in front of the
school. “How we make a compromise?” She suggested. “You let it
drop for now and in exchange we can go back to mine and study
for a bit together?” Camila seemed to give the suggestion some
thought for a moment before nodding her head. “Ok,” Camila
agreed, “but…” “No,” Lauren stopped her laughing. “You let it
drop for now,” she laughed. “That’s the deal.” Camila pouted,
furrowing her brow and sticking her bottom lip out adorably,
 making Lauren roll her eyes in response. She leant forward and
kissed Camila firmly on the lips. “Don’t try and pout your way out
of this,” Lauren said chuckling. “You made a deal.” “I’m just
worried,” Camila protested and Lauren squeezed her hand, pulling
her out into the fresh air as she started towards her car again.
“Don’t worry about me,” Lauren told her seriously. “I’m fine.
There’s absolutely nothing for you to worry about.” “Are you
sure?” Camila asked her as Lauren unlocked her car with the key
fob as they approached. She opened the door for Camila,
gesturing for her to get inside. “That constitutes as worrying,”
Lauren said playfully as Camila descended into the passenger seat
and Lauren closed the door behind her, making her way to the
drivers’ side. “You’ll tell me if it does become a problem though?”
Camila asked as Lauren sat beside her and fastened her seat belt.
“Of course I will,” Lauren replied. “We promised to be honest with
each other didn’t we?” Lauren questioned. “I guess,” Camila said
doubtfully. Lauren leant over and kissed Camila on the lips again
quickly before starting the engine and putting the car in gear.
Lauren drove them back to her house, which was empty, her
family all busy with other endeavours. They made their way
indoors and up to Lauren’s room where Camila unpacked her
school things and spread them out on the bed, ready
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 7/10 to study. Lauren bought them some
drinks and snacks, placing them on the nightstand beside the desk
 out of the way. For the next hour, they studied together, Camila
lying on her front on the mattress, her math book in front of her,
a pen clasped loosely in her right hand. Every so often Camila
would jot poorly written, incomprehensible numbers and sums on
the blank page of her notebook to her right, her attention fixed
firmly on the task at hand. Lauren sat up with her back against the
head of the bed, her legs stretched out before her, her textbook
in her lap. She made a good show of studying, trying to focus her
attention on the math problem at hand. However, Lauren found it
increasingly difficult, her eyes finding themselves drawn from the
page in front of her to look upon and appreciate Camila’s form on
the bed, the way her dark hair fell across her face, obscuring it
from view, the curve of her buttocks in the skinny jeans she wore.
Lauren bit her bottom lip, her eyebrow rising slightly as Camila
shifted position, causing her buttocks to clench together tightly
for an instant “What answer did you get for problem C?” Camila
asked, turning her head to look at Lauren and catching her in the
middle of her not so subtle ogling. Camila twisted over in the bed
to look at Lauren better. “Lauren,” Camila said incredulous.
“You’re supposed to be studying.” “I am,” Lauren replied. She had
a smirk on her lips as she slowly and purposefully took her time to
look Camila over before meeting her girlfriend’s disbelieving eyes.
“Math not me,” Camila clarified an amused expression on her
face. “I’m bored of math,” Lauren replied truthfully. “I’d rather
study biology,” she added mischievously, raising her eyebrow
 suggestively. Lauren laughed at the way Camila’s jaw dropped in
response to her comment, stunned. She placed her books on the
nightstand beside her and lowered herself onto her front on the
bed so that she was parallel with Camila. She propped herself up
on her elbows so that her face was level with Camila’s as she
continued. “We’ve been studying for an hour,” Lauren told her. “I
think it’s time for a break. Don’t you?” Camila stared into Lauren’s
eyes for a moment searchingly before lowering her gaze to her
girlfriend’s lips. She looked at them for a moment, craving the feel
of them against her own and inhaled a large breath, glancing
quickly at the closed door before pushing her own books onto the
floor at the end of the bed messily. Lauren smiled as Camila pulled
her face closer, one hand around the back of Lauren’s head as she
brought their lips together in a hungry kiss. Camila wasted no time
in deepening it, not hesitating to push her tongue into Lauren’s
mouth at the first opportunity that presented itself to her. Lauren
put her hand against the small of Camila’s back and tugged on her
lower back firmly so that their hips were touching and Lauren
bent her upper leg a little to accommodate Camila’s, her knee
manoeuvring between her girlfriends’. Lauren sighed as Camila
sucked on her tongue, her breath catching slightly as she felt
Camila shift her weight so that she was now positioned on her
back beneath the smaller girl who was on top of her. Camila’s
arms were either side of Lauren’s head as they supported the
weight of her upper body, but Camila’s hips pressed into Lauren’s
 pelvis as she straddled one of her legs between her own. Lauren
sat up slightly; pushing her mouth harder against Camila’s whose
left hand had moved down to Lauren’s side and was rubbing it
roughly, moving the bottom of here tshirt up to expose her hard
stomach. Lauren grabbed Camila’s wandering hand, feeling the
material of the splint of her wrist, and moved it decidedly up to
her right breast on top of her bra. Camila moved her head back,
separating the two of them for a moment, her breath ragged, and
her eyes wide, pupils dilated. She had a look of surprise on her
face and Lauren reached up her free hand to brush the side of
Camila’s face with her fingertips reassuringly. Lauren moved the
hand that she held lower, onto her abdomen, Camila’s fingers
grazing her stomach and making the muscles grow taut in
response. Lauren pushed herself up, crashing her lips against
Camila’s once more, her tongue invading the space that she’d
often dominated. Lauren released Camila’s hand and twisted her
hips, her hand around Camila’s back as she reversed their position
so that she was now on top of her girlfriend.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 8/10 Lauren trailed a line of kisses down
Camila’s neck, her hands groping at Camila’s sides beneath her
clothing. She sucked on Camila’s lip gently, pulling back a little to
separate the two of them as she sat up, her pelvis on top of
Camila’s. Lauren moved her hands to the bottom of her own t-
shirt, lifting the hem of it up until it was over her head. She threw
 the now removed item of clothing onto the floor in front of her,
her eyes never leaving Camila who was now studying her exposed
flesh closely. Camila placed her hands on Lauren’s abdomen,
seemingly admiring the unblemished skin there, brushing it gently
with her fingertips as she examined it. She moved one hand
around to Lauren’s left flank where her own skin was tarnished
and ran her fingertips up and down the flesh there as if in awe at
its perfection. “Camz,” Lauren said softly and Camila lifted her
eyes to meet her girlfriend’s. “We’re no different,” she said
meaningfully and as if to make her point, Lauren moved her hand
to expose Camila’s stomach by pushing the hem of her top up
towards her chest. “We’re both made of the same thing.” “What
you’re made of is just more aesthetically pleasing,” Camila said,
staring at Lauren’s chest where her own scar would be, no line
converging with the centre of her girlfriend’s bra as it would her
own. “It depends whose eyes you’re looking through,” Lauren
commented seriously, a poignant expression on her face before
she bought their lips together again, bending down so that her
abdomen was pressed against Camila’s. She reached one hand
reaching up to caress the side of Camila’s face with her thumb,
the other finding its way to Camila’s hand to bring it once more up
to cover her breast over the material of her bra. Lauren moaned
in pleasure as she felt Camila close her hand around the mound
there experimentally a few times. She pushed her lips against
Camila’s more, their mouths falling into a reciprocal rhythm as
they kissed, their tongues lashing at each other pleasantly. Lauren
felt Camila tense beneath her touch as her hand roamed up to the
middle of her chest, her thumb making small circles over where
her scar was hidden beneath material of her clothing. She opened
her eyes to look at Camila, parting their lips and kissing the curve
of her jaw softly for a minute, waiting for Camila to relax. “It’s ok,”
Lauren told her kissing the front of Camila’s neck across her
throat. Camila arched her head back to expose the flesh there
some more, her other hand, reaching to wrapped around Lauren’s
shoulder blades. Camila bent her knee up slightly and brought it in
to enclose Lauren’s hips, pushing her girlfriends’ weight into her
pelvis some more. Lauren felt Camila relax beneath her and used
the opportunity to trail kisses down her neck to the middle of her
chest, one hand pulling down the material which was obscuring it
from view. “Lauren,” Camila said huskily, her voice more raspy
then Lauren had ever heard it before. “Shh…” Lauren said, the
hand beneath Camila’s shirt reaching up to cup one of her breasts
and squeezing it gently in her fingers before starting to massage it
steadily. Camila arched her back slightly in response and she
moaned into Lauren’s mouth as her girlfriend bought their lips
back together again. Lauren felt the space between her legs
moisten as she sat, straddling Camila’s thigh, her girlfriends other
knee pressed into her back pulling her further against her. “I
definitely prefer studying biology,” Lauren commented, as she
separated their lips for a moment to catch her breath. Camila
 watched Lauren’s chest heave before her and bit her bottom lip,
panting herself. “I hate math,” Camila replied lifting up her head
to kiss Lauren’s collar bone softly, her other hand now finding its
way down to the top of Lauren’s jeans. Camila slid her hand down
between the fabric of Lauren’s underwear and the denim to sit on
her buttock, lifting it slightly as she flexed her fingers. “Shit Camz,”
Lauren gasped shuddering slightly at the combination of Camila’s
hand on her behind and the light trail of kisses she was now
making down to the middle of her chest. “You’re perfect,” Camila
said, admiring Lauren’s flawless skin as she leant back slightly to
observe her form. She felt Camila’s hand come back out from the
back of her jeans and trace around the side of her hip, playing
with the waist band at the front, tickling
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62618766607/trialsand-
tribulationschapter28 9/10 the skin there pleasurably. The space
between her legs grew wetter and Lauren bought their mouths
back together eagerly, her own knee sliding forward and pressing
into Camila’s centre, causing her to push their hips together even
further in response. “Fucking hell,” she heard someone mutter
stunned, but, it wasn’t Camila’s raspy tone and Lauren snapped
her head up in alarm to glance at the door where her brother
Chris stood watching, his jaw agape in disbelief. “Don’t stop on my
account,” he said seriously and Lauren sat up, grabbing a pillow
off the bed. “Jesus Christ,” she said hurtling the pillow in his
direction. “Fuck off Chris.” She cursed. He smirked in her
 direction. “Wait until mom and dad hear about this.” He said
simply before disappearing out the door again and closing it
behind him. “Shit,” Lauren cursed again, looking down at Camila
who had been looking away from the door, her eyes fixed firmly
on the wall opposite, her face flushed, whether still from pleasure
or embarrassment Lauren couldn’t be sure. Camila turned her
face to meet Lauren’s eyes and Lauren exhaled slowly, knowing
that she needed to speak to, and more than likely bribe her
brother for his silence before her parents got home. “Shit,” she
cursed again and she leant forward to rest her forehead on
Camila’s shoulder dismayed. A/N: Sorry for the lack of update
yesterday. I was seeing Boyce Avenue so didn’t get a chance to
write a new chapter. Anyway, hopefully this will make up for it.
Enjoy x
Chapter 29
“Oh my God,” Dinah said in disbelief the next day during home
room. “Are you joking?” “I wish I was joking,” Lauren informed
her seriously, casting a quick look at Camila who was sat at a desk
near the front of the room with Miss Lovato. She was discussing a
book which she had been reading at the suggestion of the teacher
and although it had been hard going for Camila, she had
persevered and made herself a promise to read at least one
chapter every night. Camila had gotten into Lauren’s car this
morning desperate to talk to Miss Lovato about it, apparently
having gotten to a really moving part yesterday. Lauren had
 smiled at the look of pure joy and excitement on Camila’s face as
she’d thumbed through the book on their journey in this morning;
stopping when she’d come to a page she’d read last night. Camila
had narrated her favourite paragraph out loud to Lauren as she’d
driven, repeating the words over and over, seemingly deriving
some personal connection with the text. “Chris walked in on the
two of you…you know…doing things?” Dinah asked still
gobsmacked by the admittance, drawing Lauren’s thoughts back
to the current conversation and away from her girlfriend. “It was
nothing like that,” Lauren quickly told Dinah, glancing at Ally who
had a smirk plastered on her face. “It was just…like…ok, so,
there’s a G rated film right?” Lauren started, holding out one hand
for effect, “and then there’s NC17,” She said and Dinah nodded
her head. “We were like…a PG13.” “A PG13?” Ally asked in an
attempt to get further details. “Yeah, you know,” Lauren said,
looking at her friend with a smile on her face, “partial nudity with
some suggestive material…” Lauren trailed off. “Was there an
intense sexual situation?” Ally asked mischievously, raising her
eyebrow suggestively. Lauren blushed at the recollection of the
damp which she’d felt between her legs at the touch of Camila’s
lips against her chest and the feel of her girlfriends’ hand as it
swept over the skin by the waist band of her jeans. She swallowed
hard, dropping her gaze to the desk in front of her for an instant
before answering, “It definitely had…potential.” “Ok,” Dinah said
making a face that told Lauren she did not need the particulars.
“So what happened after Chris walked in on you?” “He told us not
to stop on his account,” Lauren informed them. “Your brother is
such a pervert,” Dinah commented laughing. “I don’t know,” Ally
said teasingly, winking at Lauren. “I wouldn’t have minded walking
in on that.” “Oh my God,” Dinah said surprised at Ally’s words.
“Ally!” Lauren protested. “I’m only joking,” Ally said waving her
hand in protest at Lauren’s remonstration. “Besides, I’m not
surprised you’re finally…experimenting?” Ally informed her,
unsure of the right word to describe the change in their
relationship. “I already thought that
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 2/11 you guys were…you know…” she said
leaving the insinuation unspoken, “I told you as much when I
came around and found Camila in your clothes, remember?” she
asked. “What?” Dinah asked. “When was this?” “It was about a
month ago,” Ally said turning to Dinah. “Do you remember when
they had that fight because of Rachel? It was back then.” She
continued to explain. “Lauren called me all agitated because
Camila had walked off and left her standing in the parking lot of
the police station looking like an idiot…” “Hey,” Lauren protested
again but Ally continued regardless. “I went round to her house,”
Ally told Dinah, pointing at Lauren with her thumb, “and found
Camila dressed from head to foot in her clothes.” “It wasn’t like
that at all though,” Lauren responded giving Ally a pointed look.
“It was PG rated at best. Do you remember the awkward
 conversation that followed because of that?” “Of course,” Ally
chuckled recalling the conversation. “You two were so cute and
innocent.” “I’m glad that you found it entertaining,” Lauren
muttered amused. “God Ally, a little warning wouldn’t go amiss in
future if you’re planning on embarrassing me completely.” “Aww,
you normally do such a good job of that yourself that I don’t ever
have to embarrass you Lo,” Ally told her smiling brightly. “You
can’t blame me for assuming things when you open the door
looking all flustered and she looks like she’s just had a shower…”
“It was raining,” Lauren said defensively. “Ok moving on,” Dinah
said in an attempt to get them back on point. “So you’re brother
came in, told you to carry on and then…what?” She asked. “Then
he vaguely threatened to tell my parents what he’d seen,” Lauren
told her. “He didn’t though? Did he?” Ally asked her incredulous.
“No, thank God,” Lauren said sighing at her good fortune. “My
parents would never let Camila back in my room again if they
knew about what we were doing. They don’t mind kissing
but…they draw the line at anything more than that.” “So is your
brother just really nice or did he make you pay for his silence?”
Dinah asked knowingly. “He made me pay,” Lauren groaned.
“Let’s just say that I’m getting him a really great Christmas
present.” “Oh speaking of Christmas!” Ally said excitedly. “Are you
and Camila coming to the Winter Formal in a couple of weeks?
Troy got our tickets yesterday.” Dinah clapped her hands together
equally as enthusiastic as Ally. “Yes!” Dinah said giving Lauren a
 pointed look. “You and Mila have to come together! You’ll be
adorable and it’ll be so much fun! It’ll be the first dance I’ve gone
to,” Dinah shared with them. “Siope is taking me,” “Arin is taking
Normani as well,” Ally added keenly. “If you guys come then we
can all go together…” “Camz and I aren’t going,” Lauren
interrupted her disappointed. “What?” Ally said dissatisfied by
Lauren’s response. “Why aren’t you coming? You love going to
the school dances.” “I do,” Lauren agreed, “but it’s not really
Camila’s thing…” “I’ll talk to her,” Dinah said as if that would be
the magical solution to the problem. “No, don’t do that!” Lauren
said quickly putting her hand up in front of her for effect. “I don’t
want to put any pressure on her to go. I don’t mind, honestly.”
“Lauren you have an out and proud, official, girlfriend for the first
time in your high school career and you’re not going to take her to
the dance?” Ally asked, still unimpressed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 3/11 “My girlfriend doesn’t like dances so
it’s a little bit hard to take her to one” Lauren replied simply.
“Lauren, I’m sure if you ask her…” Ally began. “No Ally I’m not
going to ask her,” Lauren cut her off, a stern edge to her voice.
“Camila doesn’t like them, alright? She never has. Now, what with
the accident and everything she just, she likes them even less,”
Lauren paused for a minute changing tact. “I’m not going to make
her feel guilty when she has legitimate reasons for not wanting to
go, ok?” “Well, what are her reasons?” Ally asked probingly. “Do
 they matter?” Lauren asked Ally. “I suppose not,” Ally replied
thoughtfully. “I’m just curious that’s all.” “It’s because she can’t
dance,” Dinah said knowingly. “It’s why she never enjoyed them
before. She was always worried about looking like an idiot and
embarrassing herself.” “Partly,” Lauren admitted, “but, she’s not
really into wearing heels and dresses either,” Lauren told them,
although she knew Dinah was aware of that fact. “Now she’s got
this complex about her scars,” Lauren continued, “and with her
coordination being like it is, Ijust…I really, really don’t want to
force the issue, alright?” Ally glanced to the front of the class
where Camila was still talking with Miss Lovato animatedly. “Ok,”
she conceded. “That’s fair. I just, I thought it would have been
nice, you know? To have us all go together as a group.” “Yeah,
that’s cool Lauren,” Dinah agreed also looking in Camila’s
direction. “I won’t talk to her about it, ok? I promise. You’re right;
it’s not fair to pressure her.” “Thank you,” Lauren said gratefully,
pleased that they understood. “I hope you guys have a great time
though.” She commented her voice taking on a happier tone. “I
mean, take a lot of pictures for me, won’t you?” “Sure,” Ally
guaranteed, “definitely.” “You’ll be sick of looking at them,” Dinah
chuckled. “Will you guys do something else instead?” Ally asked
Lauren interestedly. “I don’t know,” Lauren replied. “We’ll
probably just stay in and watch a movie or something,” she told
them earnestly. Ally gave Lauren a sympathetic look and put a
hand on her shoulder as the bell rang to signal the end of home
 room. They all stood from their seats and collected their
belongings as Camila bounded over, book in hand, to walk with
Lauren to her next class as they always did. “Hi,” she greeted,
kissing Lauren on the lips quickly before linking their arms
together. “Can I walk you to class?” she asked happily. “I’ll walk
you to class,” Lauren countered and Camila pouted. “You always
walk me to class,” Camila said. “Can’t it be my turn?” “I walk you
to class because I’m worried you won’t get there in one piece,”
Lauren joked teasing Camila, who pouted in response to her
girlfriend’s words. “You really want to walk me to class that
much?” Lauren asked her laughing. “Yeah,” Camila told her
cheerfully. “Can I?” Lauren shook her head in amusement as Ally
and Dinah waved their goodbyes to the two of them. Camila lifted
her hand to reciprocate the farewell as Lauren smiled at them,
lifting her eyebrow slightly to acknowledge their departure.
“Please?” Camila pleaded, tugging on Lauren’s arm slightly and
drawing her attention back to her. “Fine,” Lauren relented. “Lead
the way,” she laughed, gesturing to the doorway meaningfully.
Camila grinned widely before pulling on Lauren’s arm and guiding
her through the door into the hallway.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 4/11 Camila walked Lauren to her next
period, leaving her at the door with the promise to miss her until
they had math together in an hour. Lauren kissed Camila goodbye
hurriedly in response before disappearing into the classroom,
 pausing briefly to look back over her shoulder as Camila
practically bounced along the hallway towards class. She smiled at
the knowledge that Camila was in such a good mood today, her
girlfriend finally appearing to be back to her normal self after a
few difficult weeks. Lauren pondered Ally and Dinah’s suggestion
to ask Camila to attend the dance throughout the whole of her
class, knowing that she was right not to pursue it but, admittedly,
a little disappointed not to be going. There was nothing that
Lauren would have liked more than to go to the dance with
Camila and their friends. She loved the idea of enjoying an
evening with everyone, dancing and having fun; it was something
which their group was in much need of after the difficulties of the
last three weeks. Lauren would have enjoyed the opportunity to
finally be able to take a date to the dance, something which she’d
never been able to do before. However, she knew that Camila
didn’t like school dances and she understood Camila’s difficulties
with her selfesteem. There was no way that Lauren would risk the
progress that Camila had made in that area for the sake of a
dance. Lauren sighed to herself as the bell rang and she made her
way down the hallway to math where she found Camila sitting at
her usual desk awaiting her arrival. “Hi,” she greeted animatedly
as Lauren sat down in the empty seat beside her. “Hi,” Lauren
replied, smiling brightly as she noted the sparkle in Camila’s eyes
which had been absent only this time last week. “You’re perky
today,” Lauren commented as Camila had leant across the space
 between them and planted a quick kiss on her lips in greeting.
“I’m not allowed to be perky?” Camila asked, frowning slightly in
jest. “No of course you are,” Lauren replied grinning and reaching
for Camila’s left hand. “I love seeing you so happy…” Lauren
continued. Lauren paused, her face furrowing in confusion at the
unfamiliarity sensation that she felt as she took Camila’s hand in
her own. “Wait…” Lauren said, lifting Camila’s arm up in front of
her slightly and examining it closely. “Where’s your splint?”
Lauren asked her concerned. “Did you break it again?” she asked,
a small smile gracing her lips, recalling how clumsy Camila could
be. “No it’s not broken,” Camila told her gladly. “So then…where
is it?” Lauren asked puzzled. “It’s in my locker,” Camila informed
her happily. “Why?” Lauren asked her. “Aren’t you supposed to
wear it?” “Ithought I’d try the rest of the day without it,” Camila
said matter of factly. “You know, see how it goes.” “You were
wearing it earlier though weren’t you?” Lauren asked trying to
remember whether she’d had it in the car earlier. “Yes,” Camila
replied, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “Ok good,” Lauren said shaking
her head a little, “I thought I was going crazy for a minute there.”
Lauren rotated Camila’s hand so that the palm was facing up
towards the ceiling and studied the thick, sinewy scar that crossed
over her wrist to run up her forearm. “So, what bought this on?”
Lauren asked, her thumb tracing the pronounced ridge of the scar
soothingly. “You’ve never tried to go a day without it before.”
“Well,” Camila said, “My physical therapist told me a while back
 that I don’t really need to wear it anymore except overnight to
prevent pins and needles, or if it’s really painful, but, I don’t know,
I’d gotten so used to it that I was worried about taking it off
completely.” Camila shared. “What if Iinjure it again?” “You didn’t
wear it for our first date though,” Lauren told her positively. “Do
you remember? It was broken so you left it at home…” “Yes,”
Camila replied, “I took it to my physical therapy appointment the
next day and that’s when they told me I only really needed it at
night.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trials-
andtribulationschapter29 5/11 “So why the change of heart
today?” Lauren asked her intrigued. “What’s suddenly changed?”
“I don’t know,” Camila admitted. “It just feels like it’s time, that’s
all.” Lauren smiled at Camila as Mr Lopez entered the room and
approached the front of the class to take the lesson. People that
didn’t know Camila, that didn’t understand her difficulties, would
not have noticed the subtle progress that she was making, the
subtle changes in her behaviour. However, Lauren saw every
slight change, every minuscule development that Camila made
and she valued them greatly. The fact that Camila was willing to
trial a day at school without her splint, no prompting, was huge.
She’d initiated it, she’d made the decision herself and that was no
small feat if you took everything into account. Camila was actively
involved in her recovery now, heeding the advice of her therapists
and her doctors. Camila was really making an effort and Lauren
appreciated the effect that it was having on her girlfriend. In only
 a week, she’d already made great advancements and Lauren
hoped that if she continued in this way, Camila would continue to
improve even further. After what turned out to be a rather dull
lesson covering quadratic equations, the bell rang and Lauren
stood from her chair, turning to Camila to help her up out of her
own by holding on to her hand. Camila picked up her bag and
returned her calculus textbook, pen and notepad inside, closing
the zip once she was done. “Here,” Lauren said, holding her hand
out expectantly. “Let me take that for you,” she offered and
Camila glanced between Lauren’s hand and her backpack. “No
that’s ok,” Camila said, swinging the bag onto her right shoulder.
“I need to go and do something quickly before lunch.” She
informed Lauren. “I’ll meet you there alright?” “I can come with
you if you want?” Lauren asked. “I won’t be long,” Camila
promised, standing up onto her toes to kiss Lauren on the lips, her
left hand grasping Lauren’s shirt. “Ok,” Lauren said smiling as their
mouths parted. “I’ll save you a seat.” “Or…don’t?” Camila said
playfully lifting one eyebrow suggestively. Lauren’s face broke out
into a broad grin and she leant forward to kiss Camila again
briefly. “I don’t know what’s gotten in to you,” Lauren told her
seriously, “but I kind of like it.” “Ithink it’s the drugs,” Camila
commented, twisting Lauren’s shirt in her hand. “Yeah well
whatever it is,” Lauren said twirling a strand of Camila’s hair
between her fingertips. “It suits you Camz.” Camila smiled before
kissing Lauren quickly on the lips again. “Thanks,” Camila said
 gratefully, stepping passed Lauren slightly, her hand lingering on
her girlfriends’ shirt longer than necessary. “I’ll see you in five
minutes ok?” “Ok,” Lauren said laughing. “If you’re not back I’ll
send a search party out to look for you.” Camila stuck out her
tongue in response as she finally released Lauren’s shirt and made
her way to the door. She disappeared into the hallway, leaving
Lauren behind her as she quickly made her way down towards the
main school office. “Sorry,” Camila apologised, coming to an
abrupt stop as someone stepped out in front of her, blocking her
path. “Hey, look who it is,” he said, his voice filled with
malevolence. “Ca….Ca…Camila,” David finished, faking a stutter,
his friends laughing around him. “Or should I say psycho now?” he
asked, casting a look over his shoulder at them for support. “That
was some serious Girl, Interrupted crap you pulled in the cafeteria
last week Ca…Camila,” he continued. “You shouldn’t even be
allowed to walk around the hallways on your own. What if you
hurt someone?” he went on tauntingly. “It’s kind of irresponsible
of the school, don’t you think?” “Listen…” Camila started, trying
to move around him but failing as he followed her, obstructing
her path. “No you listen,” David said his voice serious. “Do you
know how much shit I got in because of you? My dad fucking
grounded me for a week when he found out I’d had
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 6/11 detention.” “I need to be
somewhere,” Camila said, dropping her gaze to the floor and
 flinching slightly as David stepped even closer into her personal
space. “Tough,” David said placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m
talking to you and I say you owe me…” “Look I have to go,” Camila
interceded quietly, trying to turn around to head back in the
direction she came but stopping when David gripped on to her
shoulder harder. “I let it drop before because I knew that Miss
Lovato was watching me closely,” David told her, turning Camila
back around to face him, “but don’t think this is over Cabello,” he
went on, the threat in his voice evident. “I don’t…” Camila started
but this time he cut her off. “If you even think of talking to a
teacher,” he said lowering his voice, “I swear I’ll make your life a
misery,” he finished, his voice harsh. “Leave her the fuck alone,
would you David?” someone said from the back of the group and
Camila watched as Rachel pushed her way through to the front.
She placed her hand onto the arm he still had firmly fixed on
Camila’s shoulder and disengaged it, pushing him back away from
her. “Oh, come on Rach,” David said lifting his hands up in front of
himself defensively. “Don’t be a spoilt sport. Just because you’re
crushing on her…” “Ok, fuck off,” Rachel said pushing him back a
little firmer and he laughed, lifting his hand up and lowering it
again flippantly. “Whatever,” he said, stepping past Camila. “See
you around Cabello,” he called over his shoulder as he left, the
rest of his friends following behind him. “Are you alright?” Rachel
asked Camila, genuine concern in her voice. “Just ignore him.” She
said. “He’s an asshole.” “I should go,” Camila said, shifting the
 weight of her bag on her shoulder. “Thanks though,” she said as
she made a move to leave. Rachel grasped her elbow to stop her,
running around to be at her side once again. “You’ve been
avoiding me,” Rachel said making a point of meeting Camila’s eyes
with a smirk on her lips. Camila pulled her arm out of Rachel’s
grip, tucking it into her side. “Look…” Camila started, not wanting
to be rude, but eager to get to the office and back to Lauren as
soon as possible. “No listen,” Rachel said stepping closer to
Camila, invading her personal space as David had done before.
This time however, it didn’t feel threatening, it felt intimate and
awkward. “I haven’t seen you around much since I saw you and
the rest of your friends at Jimmy’s diner,” she continued. “Is
everything alright?” “Fine,” Camila said turning to leave again.
“Good,” Rachel said reaching for her arm again to stop her. “It’s
just I was worried…” She shared. “I admit that I was just trying to
get in between you and Lauren before, alright?” she went on, “I
wasn’t over her, but, after seeing you in the diner that day…” She
paused for a minute and Camila met her gaze, pulling her arm
back out of the other girls’ hold once more. “That was…that…,
God, that was hot,” she finally settled on. “You’re hot…I didn’t
really see the attraction for Lauren before…I was just messing
with you when I said Iliked you, but, wow…” she said recalling the
kiss Camila had given Lauren in the booth. “Now I do.” “I really
need to go,” Camila said as she turned and walked away. This
time Rachel let her leave, admiring the view her departure
 afforded as she watched Camila disappear along the hallway.
Rachel tilted her head slightly, biting her bottom lip. When Camila
had vanished out of sight, she turned, hit the nearby locker with
her hand lightly and made her way to the cafeteria for lunch.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 7/11 About ten minutes later, after having
finally achieved the task that she’d originally set out to; Camila
entered the cafeteria and made her way over to where Lauren
and the rest of the girls’ were sitting. “Guess who?” she said, a
smile on her lips as she walked up behind Lauren and placed her
hands over her girlfriends eyes, glad to be back in her presence. “I
don’t know,” Lauren replied feigning obliviousness. “Give me a
clue.” She prompted. Camila smiled at the playful tone in Lauren’s
voice and lowered herself onto the bench beside Lauren,
straddling it so that she was side on, her hands still covering her
girlfriends’ eyes. She leant forward, bringing their lips together in
a light, soft kiss. “Hmm…” Lauren said pretending to ponder the
dilemma. “No, I have no idea.” She said, one corner of her mouth
curving up. “Give me another hint.” she suggested. Camila leant
forward again, kissing Lauren softly at first and then deepening it
greedily, her tongue licking Lauren’s bottom lip before it pushed
into her mouth to meet her girlfriends’. Camila opened her mouth
wider to suck on Lauren’s bottom lip, her hands moving down
from where they’d been sat to cup each side of Lauren’s face.
They remained there as Camila pulled back, separating the two of
them. “Oh,” Lauren said, opening her eyes, a broad grin etched on
her features. “Camz, it’s you.” Camila hit her playfully on the arm
and spun around on the bench so that she was no longer
straddling it. She glanced over the table at Dinah who dramatically
dropped her sandwich onto the hard surface as if she was about
to be sick as a result of what she’d just witnessed. Camila laughed
heartily, causing her friend to smile and pick it back up again,
taking another huge bite once she’d lifted it to her mouth. Camila
found her eyes straying over Dinah’s shoulder to Rachel, who was
sat watching her attentively from where she sat across the
cafeteria, evidently having watched the little display. Camila
dropped her gaze back to the table before turning to look up at
Lauren who’d placed an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into
a hug. “You were gone a while,” she commented. “I was really
starting to consider sending out that search party we discussed.”
“Sorry,” Camila apologised sincerely. “I got caught up.” “With
what?” Lauren asked sensing her discomfort. “Is everything
alright?” “I ran into David in the hallway,” she confessed to Lauren
honestly, “and Rachel.” She finished. “What?” Lauren said, lifting
her head to look over to where they were usually sat. “Are you
ok?” she asked looking back at Camila. “I’m fine,” Camila said
placing a hand on Lauren’s to calm her. “Did he do anything to
you?” Lauren asked, evidently angry. “Did Rachel? I swear Camz
I’ll fucking kill them…” “Me too,” Dinah agreed. “Hell, even I’ll kill
him,” Ally added. “It’s ok,” Camila told them, “I promise, alright?”
 she addressed to Lauren who was watching her closely. “Are you
sure?” Lauren asked unconvinced. “Yeah,” Camila told her.
“You’re going to tell Miss Lovato right?” Lauren questioned.
Camila hesitated for a moment and Lauren groaned. “Camz,” she
said, “you have to tell her.” “It was nothing,” Camila replied not
wanting to give David any more of a reason to get on her case.
“When it is, I’ll tell her.” Lauren studied her for a moment before
kissing her on the forehead. “Fine,” Lauren allowed, “but, the next
time he says or does anything to you, you have to tell her,” Lauren
continued. “Deal?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 8/11 “Deal,” Camila agreed. “Good,” Lauren
responded. “Now, where did you go anyway?” “Ahh,” Camila said,
reaching into her back pocket and pulling out two small pieces of
lightweight card. She fanned them out and held them up for
Lauren to see. “What are they?” Lauren asked confused, Camila’s
hand obscuring her view. “Well,” Camila said smiling, “I wondered
whether you would consider coming to the winter formal with
me?” she asked rubbing the two tickets together in her hands.
“Oh my God!” Dinah said clapping her hands together as Ally put a
hand on to the bigger girls shoulder in excitement. “Camila,”
Lauren said looking at her in disbelief. “You got us tickets to the
winter formal?” “Yeah,” Camila said lowering the tickets in
response to the look on Lauren’s face. “Don’t you want to go?”
she asked the rejection clear in her voice. “Of course she wants to
 go!” Normani pitched in. “Right Lo?” she asked. “I…” Lauren
began only to find that she was speechless. “Lo?” Ally prompted
her friend. “Ithought it would be fun,” Camila said uncertainly.
“We don’t have to though…” “Did Dinah put you up to this?”
Lauren asked, glaring at Dinah momentarily. “Dinah?” Camila
asked confused. “No.” “Really?” Lauren asked suspiciously. “I
haven’t even spoken to Dinah about it,” Camila answered
truthfully. “What about these two?” Lauren asked pointing
between Ally and Normani. “What about them?” Camila asked.
“Did they ask you to do this?” Lauren questioned. “No!” Ally
protested as Camila also responded, “No,” Camila shook her head
slightly. “I’m sorry, I thought that you wanted to go but…I can take
them back…” “Wait so you’re really asking me?” Lauren queried
puzzled. “Yes,” Camila answered. “Really?” Lauren asked, her lips
forming a hopeful smile. “Yes,” Camila repeated, lifting up the
tickets again to show them to her. Lauren’s smile grew even wider
and she took them from Camila’s hands to study them in her own.
“Camz I thought you hated dances,” Lauren said, lifting her gaze
to meet her girlfriends’. “Well, the word hate might be a little bit
strong…” Camila commented. “They’ve just never really been my
thing before.” “So then why are you asking me?” Lauren
questioned still in shock at the offer. “Well,” Camila said as
though it were simple, “because they’re your thing.” Lauren leant
forward and kissed Camila, pulling her body close, her arms
wrapped around her shoulders. “You’re amazing,” Lauren told her
 as she relaxed her hold. “You’d go to the dance for me?” she
asked. “No,” Camila said smiling. “I’d go to the dance with you,
there’s a difference.” “You’ll dance?” Lauren asked her smiling.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62749029946/trialsand-
tribulationschapter29 9/11 “I’ll try,” Camila laughed and Lauren
felt her face start to ache from the smile that was plastered there.
“I’ll even wear a dress,” Camila told her seriously, “I’m not so sure
about the heels though…” “I don’t care about the heels,” Lauren
replied deadly serious. “You could wear your crocs for all I care.”
“See its moments like this which make me ship Camren so hard,”
Dinah commented to Ally and Normani from her position across
the table. She turned back to face Camila as she said, “Mila would
you just stop being such an adorable girlfriend please? My chest is
hurting right now because of you…” “I think that’s heartburn,”
Camila joked, recalling how Dinah had been shovelling her
sandwich down only moments ago. “Ithink it’s you two being
fucking precious,” Dinah countered. “Oh God, Ijust can’t…” Camila
felt Lauren put a hand on her arm and turned to face her. “Are
you sure about this?” Lauren asked, still not quite believing it.
Camila rolled her eyes playfully and leant forward, kissing Lauren
again, her hand finding the side of Lauren’s neck, her thumb
rubbing the curve of her jaw soothingly. “I’m sure,” Camila said;
their faces mere inches apart as she locked eyes with Lauren. “I
wouldn’t have bought them otherwise.” “I don’t want you to feel
like you have to tho…” Lauren began but Camila leant forward and
 kissed her again, silencing her. “I. Love. You.” Camila said simply,
emphasizing each word and smiling. She heard Dinah say, ‘Kill me
now,’ from where she was sat opposite but continued on
regardless. “I want to take you to the dance because you want to
go,” Camila told her truthfully. “I want to go because all of our
friends are going and it’ll be fun. Plus, I’ll get to have an amazing
time with my girlfriend,” she said, rubbing the side of Lauren’s
cheek with the pad of her thumb. “I want to go because it’ll make
you happy,” Camila continued, “and I want that more than
anything.” “Ok,” Dinah said seriously, “I actually think I’m having a
heart attack,” she reached for Ally’s hand and put it over her chest
dramatically. “Look, can you feel that?” she asked Ally. “It’s not
normal right?” Camila turned and made a face at Dinah’s words
before turning back to Lauren who was still grinning broadly. “You
always compromise for me,” Camila continued, taking one of
Lauren’s hands in her own. “It’s my turn to compromise for a
change.” “Jesus Lauren,” Dinah breathed from across the table.
“Would you just accept her offer and kiss the crap out of her
already? This is all getting too much for me.” Camila threw Dinah
another look, but Lauren smiled, more than willing to follow
Dinah’s advice. “Of course I’ll go to the dance with you Camz,”
Lauren accepted, biting her lip shyly. “You will?” Camila asked
pleased, her voice soft. “I will,” Lauren nodded leaning forward
and kissing Camila on the lips, her hand finding its way up to the
back of Camila’s neck and holding on to the dark locks of hair
there. Lauren’s other hand entwined fingers with Camila’s in their
laps and she sighed contentedly as Camila pulled back to separate
their mouths again. “I love you,” Lauren told her, noticing that
Rachel was watching them out of the corner of her eye, from
where she sat at a table behind Dinah. Camila smiled at Lauren’s
words and kissed her again. “That’s it,” Camila heard Dinah
comment. “It’s official. I’m dead.” Camila laughed into Lauren’s
lips before leaning back and turning towards Dinah quickly,
throwing the nearest thing to hand that she could find at her; a
candy bar.
Chapter 30
Saturday night, two weeks later; the girls were all gathered at
Normani’s house getting ready for the winter formal together.
Dinah, Normani and Camila had locked themselves in the
bathroom over an hour ago; Lauren and Ally commandeering the
bedroom in order to finish getting changed and to apply their
makeup. “What do you think they’re doing in there?” Lauren
asked Ally from her position on Normani’s bed, playing with a
strand of her long dark hair mindlessly. She was sitting with her
legs curled up underneath her, her left shoulder resting against
the head of the bed as she faced the smaller girl, who was
mirroring her position, applying another layer of nail polish to her
fingertips. “They’ve been in the bathroom ages,” Lauren
complained, resting her head against the wall behind her and
sighing dramatically. “Aww,” Ally began, lifting her eyes from the
 task she was doing to look over at Lauren, a smile on her lips.
“Why don’t you just admit that you’re desperate to see Camila in
her dress?” She finished. Lauren dropped her gaze to meet Ally’s
and found herself smiling in response to the knowing smirk that
was plastered across her friends’ face. “She’s so annoying,”
Lauren moaned, a small chuckle escaping her lips. “She wouldn’t
show me what she’d bought to wear,” Lauren informed Ally
frustrated. “She said she wanted it to be a surprise.” “That’s really
sweet though,” Ally commented, blowing on her nails lightly in an
attempt to dry them. “I know,” Lauren agreed, lifting her head
away from its resting position, “but…it’s so annoying.” Lauren
groaned again. “Ijust want to see her.” “She’ll be out in a minute,”
Ally laughed, enjoying Lauren’s annoyance and finding her
desperation to see Camila charming. “Are you seriously telling me
you can’t wait one minute?” Lauren glanced at the clock on
Normani’s nightstand before answering. “I’ve been waiting for
over an hour Ally. Eighty six minutes to be precise.” She told her
seriously. “Eighty six minutes! What the hell have they been doing
in there all that time?” Lauren asked her rhetorically. “I was ready
half an hour ago!” “There are three of them in there,” Ally replied
logically, still chuckling at Lauren’s irritation. “Give them a
chance…” “Am I being ridiculous?” Lauren asked sensing Ally’s
amusement. “I’m ridiculous aren’t I?” “I think you’re cute,” Ally
said, turning her attention to the unpolished nails of her left hand.
“Ugh,” Lauren grumbled. “I hate it when you guys call me cute.”
“You are cute though,” Ally told her, lifting her gaze again to meet
Lauren’s. “You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 2/10 “I’ll admit Camila’s cute,” Lauren
conceded smiling to herself at the thought of how adorable her
girlfriend was. “I’m more…” “Whipped?” Ally suggested and
Lauren rolled her eyes. “I’m not cute alright?” Lauren protested. “I
don’t think anyone has ever called me that before in my entire
life.” “Yeah well,” Ally started. “That’s because you’ve never been
in love before.” She told her. “You’re definitely cute when you’re
in love…” “I’m not cute!” Lauren whinged again, resting her head
back against the wall. “You are in love though…” Ally pointed out
as she finished the nails of her left hand and put the nail polish on
to the nightstand behind her, safely out of the way. She blew
lightly over them again, waving her hand in front of her to help
dry them quicker. Lauren dropped her head again and smiled, a
blush creeping on to her cheeks at Ally’s observation. “You know I
am,” Lauren replied and Ally’s smile grew to match her friends.
“I’ve known ever since the first day of school,” Ally told her,
waving her hand as though it had been common knowledge all
along. “Normani knew too for that matter.” Ally paused for a
moment considering. “In fact,” she continued thoughtfully. “Even
Dinah knew.” “Great,” Lauren said, “so the only person that didn’t
know was Camila?” she asked. “No,” Ally replied shrugging. “You
didn’t know either…at least, you didn’t admit it if you did.” “I
 knew,” Lauren admitted. “Fucking hell, did I know…” she trailed
off. “Really?” Ally asked interestedly. “Jesus Ally,” Lauren said
leaning closer to her friend and lowering her voice into a
conspiratorial whisper. “I can’t even begin to describe how hard
and fast I fell for her. Was it like that with you and Troy?” she
asked curiously. “Not really,” Ally admitted. “Troy and I were
friends for ages before we finally started dating. Don’t you
remember?” “Yeah, I remember,” Lauren confirmed, “but, Camila
and I were friends first too…” “Oh no,” Ally disagreed. “You and
Camila only became friends because you had a crush on her. Troy
and I were friends for almost two years before either of us started
to develop feelings for one another. There’s a massive
difference.” “I never really believed in love at first sight before,”
Lauren admitted sheepishly. “Then Camila came along and it was
like someone suckerpunched me in the gut so hard it left
permanent and irreparable damage.” “I don’t get the metaphor,”
Ally confessed making a face. “You mean, like…she’s left her mark
on you right?” “Right,” Lauren confirmed. “I swear Ally,” Lauren
shared. “When she turned around that day to look at me, my
stomach churned so fiercely that I thought I was housing a whole
swarm of butterflies and it’s never really gone away since. Every
little thing she does sets them off again Ally,” Lauren continued.
“Just thinking about her sends them fluttering around frantically
in the confined space.” “See…” Ally said, smirking again. “You are
cute.” “Oh shut up,” Lauren groaned again, hitting Ally playfully
 on the arm. “No seriously though,” Ally said, “I’m really happy
that you’re happy Lo,” Ally told her sincerely. “I really am happy,”
Lauren mused. “I’m really, really happy.” “You’re also gushing,”
Ally laughed and Lauren hit her lightly again. “So,” Ally started,
her voice taking on a more serious tone. “Do you think that
tonight might be…you know…the night?” she asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 3/10 “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
puzzled, “the night for what?” “For…you know,” Ally said raising
her eyebrow suggestively and patting the bed with her right hand.
“Oh,” Lauren said finally understanding, her face flushing bright
red at the intimation. “I…ugh…I don’t know…maybe?” she
finished, more of a question than a statement. “Lo,” Ally said
seriously. “You have the perfect opportunity here if you wanted
to…you know, take that next step,” she informed her. “I mean,
Normani’s parents are away for the weekend in Houston visiting
her family and we’re all staying over here…” she paused for a
moment before adding pointedly. “Unsupervised.” “Me and
Camila haven’t really discussed it since, well, you know, the last
time you bought it up.” Lauren chuckled. “What’s to discuss?” Ally
asked her earnestly. “I thought you were almost on the verge of it
when Chris walked in on you…” “Well, I don’t know that we would
have actually gone any further…” Lauren replied uncertain of
what might have happened if her nuisance of a younger brother
hadn’t chosen the most inopportune time to come in to her room
 unannounced. “Have you at least gotten close to it again?” Ally
asked genuinely interested. “Not quite like that,” Lauren informed
her. “We’ve had some very heated make out sessions,” she said,
smiling as she recalled them, “but, nothing like that day…” Lauren
glanced towards Normani’s open bedroom door to check that
there was still no sign of the others returning before she
continued. “Camila’s mom removed the lock on her bedroom
door after the whole nosebleed thing,” Lauren told Ally, “so we’re
always careful when we’re there…” “What about at yours?” Ally
asked her. “I don’t know,” Lauren said, “I guess the last time just
kind of…happened…” she continued. “It’s just not quite escalated
to that point again since.” “I’m telling you,” Ally responded
seriously. “You’ll never get a better chance than tonight if you
wanted to…you know…” she trailed off, her eyes lifting to the
doorway where Camila had appeared, finally ready. Dinah and
Normani stood behind the smaller girl, both also now ready. Huge
grins appeared across their faces as they registered the
expression on Lauren’s face as her eyes fell on her girlfriend,
having followed Ally’s gaze in that direction. “Holy…shit…” Lauren
breathed, her eyes roaming Camila from head to toe and back
again, committing every single detail to memory. “Do you like it?”
Camila asked Lauren uncertainly. Her hands lightly brushed the
front of her white, high necked, sleeveless dress nervously as she
waited for a response. “Are you kidding?” Lauren asked her in
disbelief, slowly standing up from the bed and making her way
 towards her girlfriend. “Camz…you’re…you…I…” Camila smiled at
Lauren’s inability to formulate a coherent sentence. “So you do?”
Camila asked her, bouncing on her feet a little, evidently happy
with Lauren’s reaction. “Jesus,” Lauren breathed, her eyes still
looking Camila up and down. Camila’s dark locks were curled
gently, cascading down to frame either side of her face, the scar
on the left side of her head completely obscured from view by the
newly grown shorter strands hidden beneath the long top layer.
She wore a white bow on a band across the middle of her head,
the bow positioned so that it sat just above her left temple.
Camila’s normally deep dark chocolate orbs were highlighted with
the addition of mascara and eyeliner, a faint white eye shadow
visible in the right light. Camila’s lips appeared more pronounced
and full to Lauren, a layer of light pink lipstick coating them so
that they glistened invitingly. The scar on Camila’s forehead was
still visible; descending in its usual path across her brow but it
appeared diminished compared to normal, hidden slightly
beneath a thin layer of foundation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 4/10 Large silver hoop earrings hung loosely
from Camila’s ears and her neck was adorned with a matching
silver necklace that sparkled brightly with small delicate jewels.
Her left wrist donned a wide silver bracelet which detracted
attention from her scar which was still obvious beneath, the dark
purple hue sticking out against the lightly tanned tone of her skin.
 Her nails were polished in the style of a French manicure and
Lauren reached for one of her hands, admiring the detail as she
began to play with Camila’s fingers instinctively. “You look
amazing,” Lauren finally managed to express, her lips forming a
smile as she saw the pleasure that appeared on Camila’s face in
response to her compliment. “Fucking hell,” Lauren let out,
exhaling meaningfully and biting her bottom lip. “I’m going to kiss
you now,” Camila told her simply, standing up on to her tip toes
to softly graze her lips against Lauren’s. Lauren smiled in to the
kiss, deepening it almost immediately, her desire for Camila right
now exceeding anything she’d ever felt for her before. “Don’t ruin
her make up! That took me and Normani ages to do!” Dinah
teased playfully and Lauren lifted her middle finger up behind
Camila’s back in response to her words, causing the other girl to
chuckle goodnaturedly. “You look really pretty,” Camila told
Lauren as they separated, her fingertips grazing her girlfriends
cheek lightly. “I really like your dress.” She said, admiring the dark
green material which hugged Lauren’s body closely, emphasizing
her curves. “It compliments your eyes.” “You’re complimenting
my eyes,” Lauren said, still looking Camila over appreciatively.
“Wow,” Ally said, laughing, “That was…wow…that was a really
nice line Lauren.” Ally chuckled. Dinah and Normani joined in
equally as amused. “Oh shut up,” Lauren protested lamely,
leaning down to kiss Camila again, her body craving her touch.
“The guys are on their way,” Normani informed them, stepping in
 to the room and holding up her phone which had just bleeped to
highlight a received message. “We should probably finish getting
ready and wait downstairs for them to pick us up.” “Ok,” Ally said,
bending down to pick up her purse, the others following suit and
collecting the rest of the things that they’d need for the evening.
About five minutes later, Troy, Arin and Siope arrived to pick them
up and take them to the dance, Troy and Siope driving separate
cars in order to accommodate them all. Throughout the journey
there, Camila and Lauren sat with their hands entwined, the latter
admiring Camila’s profile as she stared out the window at the
passing scenery. Although the group of them had taken pictures
together at Normani’s house briefly before leaving, Lauren wished
that she could preserve this moment forever on film, Camila’s
quiet beauty combined with her unassuming nature as she sat
thoughtful, in silent contemplation. More than anything, Lauren
wished that Camila could see it, could appreciate it, that she could
finally accept it for truth and not fiction as she seemed to think it
was. Camila was beautiful and the sooner she acknowledged that
about herself, the better, as far as Lauren was concerned. They
entered the hall, hand in hand, Lauren watching as Camila’s face
lit up at the sight of the decorations and the sound of the music as
it blared from the sound system towards the front of the room.
There was a stage set up with a couple of guitars, a drum set and
keyboard at the end of the hall furthest from them in preparation
for the band that would be playing later. To one side of the room
stood a refreshment table filled with drinks and a finger buffet for
students to help themselves to throughout the night. Lauren
squeezed Camila’s hand, smiling down at her, their height
difference exaggerated slightly by the fact that Lauren was
wearing heels and Camila was wearing white flats with a bow
embellishment on the top, deciding to favour practicality and
safety over fashion. “Shall we?” Lauren asked Camila and she
nodded whilst the now much taller of the two led them into the
room and over to a large table where they sat together with the
rest of the group. Over the next few hours the group enjoyed
each other’s company, laughing heartily at one another’s jokes
and dancing together in the middle of the floor, packed in closely
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 5/10 with the other students’ surrounding
them. Camila even danced, her arms moving from side to side, her
worries about looking like an idiot or embarrassing herself
seemingly evaporating in her enjoyment. “You look like you’re
having a good time,” Dinah noted, shaking her hips from side to
side next to Camila. “So I guess you were wrong about dances,
huh?” “I guess so,” Camila admitted smiling brightly, trying to
move her own hips in time to the music and failing. Dinah laughed
at her attempt, tapping her on the butt playfully before lifting her
arms above her head as she moved over to dance with Siope.
“Hey,” Lauren greeted Camila, wrapping her arm around the
smaller girls’ waist and kissing her deeply on the lips. “Hi,” Camila
 said drawing out the word as she noticed the slightly glazed look
of Lauren’s eyes. “Are you alright?” she asked, smiling and Lauren
nodded her head, mirroring the gesture. Ally came over to the
two of them, placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder and causing the
dark haired girl to look at her. “She loves you,” Ally slurred slightly
and Camila raised her eyebrow questioningly at Troy who was
towering behind her friend, a protective arm round her shoulders.
“I think someone might have spiked some of the drinks with
alcohol,” he told her a little amused. “You’re not drinking it are
you?” Camila shook her head in response, having stuck to water
just in case, not wanting to accidentally mix alcohol with the
medication she was taking. “I’m not drunk though,” Ally protested
leaning in to Troy’s side further. “Not like Lo…” she added as Troy
started to guide her over to the table to sit down for a moment.
“I’m not drunk,” Lauren protested, wrapping her other hand
around Camila’s waist and pulling her closer to her. She leant her
forehead on Camila’s shoulder, swaying their bodies from side to
side slowly as they danced together. Camila placed one hand on
the small of Lauren’s back, rubbing it soothingly as she reached up
her free hand to stroke Lauren’s long hair. “Do you want some
water?” Camila asked her concerned and Lauren shook her head
in the negative. “I want you,” she answered and Camila smiled.
“You already have me,” Camila told her, lifting Lauren’s chin up
with her hand and planting a soft kiss on her lips. Lauren buried
her face into Camila’s shoulder again. “You look so beautiful
 tonight,” Lauren told her simply, mumbling against Camila’s skin.
Camila wrapped her arms around her girlfriend as the song
changed from the pop track it had been to a much slower one, the
rest of the dance floor emptying of everyone except couples. “Ok,
now I definitely think you are drunk,” Camila commented
laughing. “Perhaps,” Lauren conceded. “It doesn’t make what I
said any less true though,” Lauren told her. “In fact,” she slurred,
“it probably makes it more true…truer…more truthful…” Lauren
struggled, trying to decide on the correct grammar. Camila kissed
the top of Lauren’s head, her eyes catching Rachel’s, who she
noticed was watching her from the far end of the room, an
unreadable expression on her face. She had noticed Rachel doing
the exact same thing numerous times throughout the night and
had felt uncomfortable under her scrutinising gaze. “You love me
don’t you?” Lauren asked Camila, lifting her head and drawing her
girlfriends’ attention back down to her. “I do,” Camila smiled,
kissing Lauren on the lips, “you know that I do Lauren.” “I think…”
Lauren started her words difficult to understand looking straight
into Camila’s eyes. “I think that…I’m drunk on you,” Lauren
admitted, the words coming out
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 6/10 slowly, much like Camila’s had after
she’d had her second seizure, the unintentional alcohol
consumption making her speech difficult. “You’re really cute,”
Camila said, her fingertips of one hand lightly grazing Lauren’s
back as they continued to slow dance together, the index finger of
her other hand tapping the end of Lauren’s nose playfully. Lauren
lowered her head, turning it slightly to kiss the side of Camila’s
neck lightly as she rested it on her shoulder once again. “It sounds
much nicer when you say it,” Lauren replied and Camila turned
her head slightly in confusion, not understanding the reference to
Lauren’s conversation with Ally earlier. “Ilove this song…” Lauren
mused, listening to the music as it played around them. “Me too,”
Camila agreed bringing one hand up around Lauren’s neck as she
lifted it off her shoulder. Lauren reached a hand up to brush at the
side of Camila’s face tenderly. “Not as much as I love you though,”
Lauren told her thoughtfully. “Promise me you’ll never leave,”
Lauren said. “What here?” Camila asked lightly. “No,” Lauren
replied her tone serious. “Me.” “Why would I leave you?” Camila
asked her genuinely surprised. “I love you.” She told her easily,
the words one of the purest truths she knew. “Just, don’t
like…die…or anything…alright?” Lauren slurred, resting her head
against Camila’s chest and pulling her in close again, her arms
enveloping the smaller girl tightly. “I hadn’t planned on it,” Camila
replied, laughing a little. “You didn’t plan on it last time though
did you?” she asked her and Camila kissed Lauren’s forehead in
response. “Do you know something that I don’t?” Camila asked
her and Lauren shook her head against her chest. “I don’t think I
could bear it if anything happened to you though,” Lauren told
her pensively, ignoring Camila’s question, her mind elsewhere.
 “Hey,” Camila said, lifting Lauren’s chin with her hand again so
that their eyes met. “Would you stop worrying so much,” she told
her, kissing Lauren on the lips in an attempt to comfort her.
“You’re starting to sound like me.” Lauren looked into Camila’s
eyes as though she was going to say something else, but instead,
settled on just crashing their lips together, her tongue probing
Camila’s mouth eagerly, combatting with her girlfriends in a never
ending war which she was happy to fight indefinitely, never
worried about being the victor when the skirmish was so
enjoyable. Lauren pulled Camila’s hips closer against her, reaching
up to grab the hair at the base of Camila’s skull with her other
hand. She felt Camila place both hands on her stomach and push
her back gently to separate them, gasping for breath. “Lauren,”
Camila said; her voice husky and breathy. “I’m sorry,” Lauren
slurred. “I’m not,” Camila replied, brushing a strand of hair out of
Lauren’s eyes and tucking it behind her ear. “Just…not here,
alright?” she said reaching down to take one of Lauren’s hands in
her own. Camila led her across the room to where the rest of their
group were assembled at a table, Ally’s head resting against Troy’s
shoulder sleepily, her eyes closed. “Are you guys ready to go?” he
asked Camila as she approached and she nodded in response.
“Yeah,” she said wrapping an arm around Lauren’s waist and
pulling her in to her side supportively. “
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 7/10 “Great,” Dinah commented soberly,
 gesturing towards Normani, who was hanging on to Arin for dear
to stay upright, “because these two,” she said moving between
her and Ally, “are completely out of it.” She finished. “That could
have been you if you’d not stuck to water too.” Camila laughed
and Dinah made a face. “Please,” she said dramatically. “Give me
some credit. I’m not as much of a lightweight as this lot.” She
protested pointing to the three girls around them. “I’m not
drunk,” Lauren told her offended. Dinah gave Camila a
questioning look and she shook her head in response, informing
her friend that Lauren definitely wasn’t sober. “Of course you
aren’t,” Dinah chuckled, “I was referring to these two idiots,” she
said pointing at Normani and Ally for emphasis. “Ok let’s go then,”
Troy said standing up and pulling Ally with him onto her feet. They
all started to make their way to the exit, Troy and Arin guiding
their respective girlfriends and Camila her own. There was one
worrying moment for Camila, where Lauren went over on her
ankle losing her footing and almost falling to the floor. Somehow
though, Camila managed to save her, pulling Lauren back into her
body securely, straining her left arm as she did so. Finally, the five
girls made it back to Normani’s house with the guys, who helped
Dinah and Camila to get a slightly sobering Ally and Normani into
the property and up to the bedroom. They left the girls’ in the
care of Dinah before departing, the taller girl helping her friends
to bed before, finding her way to Normani’s parents room to
crash there for the night. Camila helped Lauren to the guest room
 where she would be sleeping, struggling to direct her girlfriend
over to the bed, Lauren’s balance and coordination more
impaired then Camila’s from the alcohol. “Shit,” Camila cursed, as
Lauren tripped, falling to the floor and pulling Camila down with
her so that she landed on top of her with a loud thud. “Are you
alright?” Camila asked her concerned but Lauren just laughed in
response, giggling lightheartedly. “Come on,” Camila prompted
pushing herself up onto her hands and knees, offering an
outstretched arm for Lauren to take hold of. Lauren took Camila’s
hand within her own but, instead of allowing Camila to pull her
up, she yanked her back on top of her again, bringing their lips
together enthusiastically. Camila felt Lauren’s hand grope her
buttock, pushing up the bottom of her dress to expose her
underwear. Her fingers played with the top of Camila’s panties for
a moment before tucking themselves inside and pulling them
down a little to uncover the flesh there. Camila pulled her head
back quickly; reaching one arm behind her to grab hold of
Lauren’s wandering hand, her chest heaving rapidly from the kiss,
the taste of Lauren still in her mouth. “Lauren,” Camila said
clearing her throat. “What are you doing?” she asked surprised. “I
want you Camila,” Lauren told her bluntly, reaching a hand up to
stroke her brow. “You’re drunk,” Camila replied. “No I’m not,”
Lauren said, smiling a little. “I’m just a bit…disinhibited…” she
slurred. “Hey,” she exclaimed brightly. “That’s kind of like you…”
Camila ran a hand through her hair before pushing herself onto
 her knees and pulling Lauren up in front of her so that she was
longsitting, her legs outstretched on the floor. “I have a head
injury,” Camila told her amused. “It’s different…besides,” she
added. “I never tried to have my way with you as a result.”
“Unlucky for me,” Lauren said, raising her eyebrow slightly as she
went to lie back down again. “Oh no,” Camila said, pulling on her
arm. “I need to get you in to bed.” “That’s more like it,” Lauren
said favourably. “Show me the way.” “I’m sure you weren’t this
bad at the dance,” Camila noted beneath clenched teeth as she
tried to heave Lauren on to her feet and failed miserably, her
strength lacking.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 8/10 “Maybe it was the fresh air,” Lauren
told her slumping back against the side of the bed. “Can you
please help me?” Camila pleaded. “I have a better idea,” Lauren
countered unclearly. “How about we just sleep here on the
floor?” “Lauren, I’m getting you in to bed if it kills me,” Camila
told her, hastily rolling her eyes at the expression that spread
across her girlfriends’ face. “You know what I mean…” “No, I’m
afraid not,” Lauren slurred again. “Do you mean that you want to
have your way with me?” “Do you really want me to ‘have my way
with you’ when you’re like this?” Camila asked seriously. “Yes, if
you don’t mind,” Lauren replied as Camila tried to get her on to
her feet again. “Lauren please?” Camila begged gesturing to the
bed, “can you just get in?” “Kiss me first,” Lauren instructed her,
pointing to her lips. Camila obliged, crouching down to kiss Lauren
on the lips lightly, her girlfriend holding her face there as she tried
to lean back and away from her after a moment. “Lauren,” Camila
started to protest, but she jumped slightly in pleasure at the feel
of Lauren’s hand grazing her thigh nimbly, wandering higher until
it disappeared under her dress, her fingertips finding the front of
her underwear and brushing it lightly. “Shit,” Camila moaned as
Lauren sat up to crash their mouths together again and Camila felt
her underwear steadily dampen in response to Lauren’s touch.
She reached down with her hand to grab Lauren’s wrist, pulling it
back and pinning it behind her head against the side of the bed,
still kissing her. Lauren used the opportunity to move her other
hand to rub at Camila’s left side delicately, sending shivers of
pleasure up her girlfriend’s spine. Camila squeezed her legs
together tightly feeling her centre pulse satisfyingly at the touch.
Camila shifted her position to straddle Lauren’s hips, her tongue
clashing with Lauren’s ravenously. Camila lowered her mouth
away from Lauren’s, tracing kisses down the curve of her
girlfriend’s jaw to her neck and then down to the top of her chest,
her right hand groping Lauren’s thigh all the while, her left pulling
the back of Lauren’s hair lightly to expose her throat as she
moved her lips back up to it and sucked it mildly. “Jesus Christ
Camz,” Lauren sighed as Camila’s right hand made its way up
under the bottom of Lauren’s dress and she played with the
elastic of her underwear teasingly. “Fuck,” Lauren moaned as
Camila pressed her chest against hers, the left hand that had been
tugging on her the hair at the base of her skull now cupping her
right breast keenly, massaging it carefully in her fingers. Camila’s
mouth made its way back up to Lauren’s jaw line and she turned
her head to capture Camila’s tongue, sucking on her girlfriend’s
bottom lip as she shifted her weight in her lap. Lauren lifted her
right knee up slightly as Camila did this, causing the smaller girl to
sink down so that she was straddling just one leg with both of
hers. Lauren elevated the knee of that leg slightly, allowing it to
press up into the damp of Camila’s underwear and eliciting a
pleasurable moan from her girlfriend in response. “Lauren,”
Camila said separating their lips to look into her girlfriend’s
striking green eyes, her voice barely audible through her noisy
inhalations as she tried to catch her breath. “Yeah Camz?” she
answered, the free hand that was rubbing Camila’s side working
its way down beneath her dress to cup her buttock firmly. “Are
we really going to do this now?” Camila asked seriously, her pupils
dilated, her body throbbing in a way that she’d never known
existed. Lauren forced their lips together again, sucking on
Camila’s tongue, the hand groping Camila’s behind moving around
to once again play with the elastic at the front of her underwear.
She felt Camila shudder beneath her touch and smiled slightly at
the response she’d elicited before parting their lips to look at her.
“That depends,” Lauren breathed, her eyes never leaving
Camila’s. “On what?” Camila asked, her voice barely above a
 whisper, noting that Lauren had apparently sobered up very
quickly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62848037662/trialsand-
tribulationschapter30 9/10 “On whether you want to.” Lauren
answered, her eyes boring in to Camila’s, informing her girlfriend
that she was more than willing to if she also consented.
Chapter 31
“Camz?” Lauren prompted after a moment when Camila still
hadn’t responded, her girlfriend’s eyes looking down at her hands
which she’d lowered in to her lap between them. “Camila?” she
pushed, lifting Camila’s chin with her hands and forcing her to
finally meet her questioning gaze. Camila’s chest was still heaving,
her breaths sharp and ragged as she tried to fill her lungs with
oxygen. “How drunk are you?” Camila asked her after a moment,
her breath slowing. “I’m not drunk,” Lauren slurred slightly.
“Lauren?” Camila protested, hearing the unclear words as they
left her mouth. “Ok, so I might be a little bit drunk,” Lauren
conceded, holding up her hand and making a gesture with her
thumb and index finger to demonstrate the measure. “That
doesn’t change anything though,” she said indistinctly, reaching
for Camila’s hand and taking it within her own, missing slightly on
the first attempt, her perception poor. “I’ve wanted to be with
you for a while now Camz,” she admitted. “It’s not because I’ve
been drinking, I promise…” “That’s not the problem,” Camila told
her, rubbing the back of Lauren’s hand with her thumb. “I don’t
 doubt your intentions or your motives. I really, really want to be
with you too,” Camila told her genuinely and the dopey smile on
Lauren’s face grew in reaction to the words. “I just, ok…so please
don’t hate me…” Camila said dropping her gaze. “I could never
hate you Camz,” Lauren told her seriously, reaching up her free
hand to brush the side of Camila’s cheek reassuringly. Camila
lifted her eyes to meet her girlfriends again as she continued. “I
don’t want our first time to be like this,” Camila shared with her
honestly as she gestured between them with her right hand.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love you and I want to be with you but…”
“You want it to be special.” Lauren finished for her understanding.
“I want you to remember it tomorrow,” Camila clarified. “I don’t
think I’ll ever forget a moment that I’m with you Camz,” Lauren
said earnestly, the sincerity in her voice ringing loudly in the
silence between them. “You know what I mean,” Camila laughed
lightly after a moment. “Stop trying to be so cute when I’m trying
to be honest with you.” She scolded playfully. “Ok,” Lauren
promised and Camila continued. “I love you,” Camila reiterated
again, playing with a strand of Lauren’s hair in her right hand.
“You know that I do,” she added dropping her gaze to her
girlfriend’s lips “but recently, things have started to…progress in
our relationship.” she carried on after a slight pause to consider
her wording, lifting her eyes to meet the emerald green pair once
again. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trials-
andtribulationschapter31 2/10 “It’s too much for you.” Lauren
 interceded before Camila could finish, watching her girlfriend
closely trying to understand. “Everything is moving too fast, I
know, I’m sorry…you should have said something.” She told
Camila, misunderstanding. “No,” Camila replied placing a hand on
Lauren’s shoulder in order to stop her wayward thoughts.
“They’re not,” she told her emphasizing the point. “That’s what
I’m trying to tell you Lauren.” Camila continued simply. “I want to
be with you like that,” Camila shared with her blushing slightly. “I
do… just, when you’re sober.” “You do?” Lauren questioned
smiling, desperate for further affirmation. “Yes,” Camila said
leaning forward to kiss Lauren on the lips, forcing her girlfriend
back against the bed as her bodyweight sank into her. She
separated from her slowly, keeping their faces close and brushing
Lauren’s cheek with her thumb as she did so. “I do.” “Me too,”
Lauren replied leaning forward to initiate another kiss with
Camila. This time it wasn’t heated, it wasn’t hungry, it was chaste;
innocent, and Lauren didn’t know which kind she preferred most,
both stirring the familiar butterflies in her stomach to life in an
instant. “You should get to sleep,” Camila sighed as they parted,
her forehead resting against Lauren’s, the tips of their noses
touching. “I’m not tired,” Lauren confessed, placing her hands on
Camila’s upper arms and rubbing them soothingly. “I don’t think
that I could sleep even if I wanted to right now. I feel quite lively
actually. Perhaps it’s the alcohol,” she mused to herself. “At least
get changed in to your pyjamas and get in to bed,” Camila
 suggested helpfully. “You’re not going to want to sleep when
you’re sat down here on the floor.” “Will you stay with me?”
Lauren asked Camila as her hands found her girlfriends abdomen
and brushed the flesh there lightly through her white dress. “I
don’t think that’s a good idea,” Camila replied. “Nothing will
happen,” Lauren told her. “I promise I just want you to stay in
here with me, that’s all. I don’t expect anything.” “It’s not because
of that,” Camila replied. “Itrust you…” “You don’t trust yourself?”
Lauren interrupted surprised and Camila laughed. “I have
nightmares,” Camila chuckled, lifting her head back from Lauren’s
to meet her gaze properly. “Bad ones and I scream in my sleep…”
“I don’t care,” Lauren responded. “Maybe not now,” Camila
laughed, “but, believe me, you will when I wake you up in a few
hours middream…” “You’ll share a bed with Dinah though?”
Lauren asked puzzled. “Dinah’s used to it,” Camila replied simply.
“Plus, she’s normally a really heavy sleeper. Accept that one time,
which, we aren’t discussing because of how ridiculously I
reacted.” Camila informed her. “I don’t want to worry you if I
have one. They’re kind of intense.” “You won’t,” Lauren
protested, giving Camila a meaningful look. “Come on Camz…”
she pleaded, “please stay with me. You’ve slept on the bed with
me before and it’s been fine…” “That was different,” Camila
sighed, “it was during the day…I’ve only ever had nightmares,
well, overnight…besides, I’m an insomniac,” Camila sighed. “I
probably won’t sleep for hours yet.” “Perfect, you can protect me
 from the monsters under the bed then.” Lauren joked. “Are you
sure you don’t mind?” Camila asked her. “I don’t want to keep
you up…” Lauren tilted her head forward and kissed Camila on the
lips to silence her. “I’m sure,” she said before pecking Camila on
the lips again quickly. “Now go and get your things.” “Ok,” Camila
said smiling and lifting herself off Lauren’s lap, feeling the
dampness again between her legs as she stood up, reminded of
the pleasure she’d felt when Lauren had touched her through her
underwear.“I’ll be back in a minute,” she promised, heading
towards the door and disappearing outside.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trialsand-
tribulationschapter31 3/10 Lauren stood up from her position on
the floor, holding on to the bed for support, the room spinning
more than she thought it should be, making her feel
disorientated. ‘Shit’, she thought, ‘I guess I actually am a little
drunk.’ She made her way over to her holdall which was on the
floor by the dresser clumsily and opened it up, rifling through it
for her pyjamas. When she finally found them, Lauren shrugged
out of her dress, unclasping her bra and allowing it to fall to the
floor wherever it haphazardly landed. She quickly pulled on her
pyjama shorts and black ‘The Script’ tshirt before heading to the
ensuite bathroom to brush her teeth and remove her makeup.
When she reappeared in the room a few minutes later, Lauren
found it still empty and wandered back over to the bed, holding
onto the wall with one hand in order to keep her balance. She
 climbed under the covers and positioned the pillow against the
head of the bed, resting against it whilst she waited for Camila to
return. It wasn’t until a further ten minutes had passed that
Camila materialised in the doorway, brandishing her belongings
and no longer wearing her dress, the delicate white material
replaced with red polyester pyjama bottoms and an Ed Sheeran t-
shirt. She was no longer wearing her makeup, having evidently
stopped off to remove it before returning. “Are you sure this is
ok?” Camila asked, dropping her bag onto the floor just inside the
door and turning off the bedroom light, Lauren having put the
bedside lamp on to illuminate the room. Lauren nodded her head
as Camila closed the bedroom door behind her and bent down to
retrieve a few items before making her way tentatively over to
the bed. “What are those?” she asked as Camila walked around
the structure, climbing in to the bed beside Lauren, copying her
position. Camila pulled the duvet up to cover her waist and placed
the items on top of it so Lauren could look at them. “My iPhone,”
Camila told her pointing to the small object in her lap,
“earphones,” she continued moving her hand to point to them
next, “and my book,” she finished. “Where are your sleeping
pills?” Lauren asked her interestedly. “I don’t take them at the
weekend,” Camila informed her. “My doctor says that it’s good to
try and see if I can manage without them. The hope is that at
some point I won’t need to take them at all but for now, I need to
have them so I can function properly at school.” “So do you have
 a routine for the weekends?” Lauren questioned, “Something to
help you get to sleep?” Camila smiled at Lauren’s curiosity. “Well,
I normally listen to some music and try to read for a bit,” Camila
shared with her. “Sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t.
It’s a little bit hit and miss to be honest.” “What do you listen to?”
Lauren asked and Camila turned to face her in the bed, twisting
her shoulders so that the left one was leaning against the head
board. “Anything that’s relaxing really,” Camila told her opening
up. “John Mayer, Lewis Watson, the XX…” she trailed off. “Tell me
something,” Lauren started leaning closer to Camila, shifting her
weight slightly. “What do you want to do when you finish high
school?” Lauren asked her. “What do you mean?” Camila asked.
“Like…as a job?” “Sure,” Lauren said reaching a hand forward to
take Camila’s in her own. She started to play with Camila’s fingers
mindlessly as her girlfriend replied. “Well, I was thinking recently
that maybe I’d like to be a teacher,” Camila told her, dropping her
voice so that it was almost inaudible, apparently embarrassed by
the admission. “Why?” Lauren asked her smiling, genuinely
interested. She lifted their hands up off the duvet slightly as she
continued to manipulate Camila’s fingers with her own. “It will
sound stupid,” Camila told her shyly. “No it won’t,” Lauren
encouraged her. “I really want to know.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trialsand-
tribulationschapter31 4/10 “Well,” Camila said, “I don’t know if
it’s exactly teaching that I want to do, but, I want to help
 people…teenagers, like us.” She informed her. “I was thinking
about how much Miss Lovato has helped me since the start of
school this year and I think that it must be rewarding, you know,
to feel like you’re making a difference in someone’s life and
helping to shape and guide them…” “There are a lot of jobs that
would allow you to do that Camz,” Lauren pointed out. “I know,”
Camila conceded, “but, if I was a teacher, for example, an English
teacher like Miss Lovato, then I’d get to read and talk about
literature, I used to love to read…” she trailed off thoughtfully. “I
think you’d make a great teacher,” Lauren told her honestly. “If
that’s what you want to do then you should Camz.” “I don’t
know,” Camila said in response. “It will depend on what happens
at the end of the year.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
concerned. “Well, if I pass or not,” Camila said. “If I can get the
grades to get in to a good college… focus enough to earn my
degree…speak well enough to teach a class…” “Camila you’ll
recover from this eventually,” Lauren said reaching her free hand
up to brush a strand of hair out of her girlfriends’ eyes. “One day
you’ll be yourself again and you’ll look back and wonder why you
ever doubted that you wouldn’t.” “Sometimes people never fully
recover,” Camila told her. “Ijust need to be realistic that it might
be the reality for me.” “I don’t believe that,” Lauren shared with
her, brushing Camila’s cheek with her fingertips. “Maybe not in a
month, or even a year, but, one day in the future you’ll…” “The
nerve damage in my arm is permanent,” Camila shared with
 Lauren cutting her off. “How do you know?” Lauren asked her,
retracting her hand from Camila’s face in surprise at the
confession. “Ithought the doctors said that it could get better…”
“They did,” Camila confirmed. “Initially,” she clarified. “They ran
some tests a few weeks ago,” Camila explained, “when I went
back for the check up with my neurologist. They did some…nerve
conduction studies,” Camila struggled to remember. “Apparently,
nothing has changed since the last time I went. They aren’t very
optimistic and told me I should be prepared for my hand not to
get any further function back. This is likely all I’ll ever have.” She
finished flexing her fingers slightly. “Camz,” Lauren said sadly,
picking up her girlfriend’s left hand in both of hers to examine the
scar along her forearm. “Is this why you’ve stopped wearing your
splint at school?” Lauren asked her meeting her gaze. “Yes,”
Camila finally confessed. “Doctors can be wrong,” Lauren
encouraged her hopefully, caressing the thick scar with her
fingertips reflexively. “They seem pretty convinced.” Camila told
her. “They were also convinced that you would never wake up,”
Lauren reminded her. “They even told your parents that,
remember?” “Well, yeah, that’s what my mom told me,” Camila
acknowledged. “So screw what the doctors say,” Lauren told her.
“If anyone can beat the odds it’s you Camz,” Lauren declared.
“You’ve already exceeded everyone’s expectations for you. You’ll
surprise them again.” “You really think so?” Camila asked her. “I
know so,” Lauren said smiling. “You are constantly surprising me
 Camz.” “You’d still date me if I never got the feeling back in my
hand properly, or I kept dropping your drinks and knocking the TV
remote off the table instead of passing it to you?” Camila asked.
“Camila those things don’t matter to me, you know that” Lauren
told her. “They only matter to you, but in the future they won’t,
because you’ll learn to accept them for what they are, a part of
you.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trials-
andtribulationschapter31 5/10 “What about you?” Camila asked
shifting closer to Lauren in the bed. “What do you want to do
when you’ve finished school?” “I’m not really sure,” Lauren
replied. “I’m often considered being a writer of some sort,”
Lauren shared with her. “Perhaps one day I’ll write our story,” she
mused thoughtfully. “People can read all about the struggles
we’ve faced and overcome together.” “Maybe we could write it
together,” Camila suggested. “Miss Lovato encouraged me to
write, but, I think I’d rather do it for fun then for work. The things
that I’ve written are too personal to me to share with the world. I
don’t think I could ever make myself that vulnerable and
exposed.” “Then how will you write our love story?” Lauren said
playfully. “Well,” Camila started, pausing for thought. “It’ll be
masked as fiction and then people will think it’s just another
made up story. They’ll never know that Camila and Lauren ever
really existed.” “Where’s the hope in that?” Lauren asked her.
“People fall in love with a story because it means something to
them, because they can relate to it or draw parallels from it with
 their own life.” Lauren said wistfully. “They live through the
characters and they hope that they are lucky enough to find a love
like that one day, knowing it was all real, that it actually
happened, will make them believe in that for themselves.”
“You’ve obviously never read any sad books,” Camila replied. “Not
everyone has a happy ending Lauren. Characters die, people die.”
“There are no happy endings,” Lauren said in acknowledgement.
“Books and stories that have happy endings just aren’t over yet,
that’s all. Death is the only true ending that anyone ever gets.”
“That’s depressing,” Camila commented. “No it’s not,” Lauren
disagreed. “Death is the ultimate end Camila, but, it’s not the end
that matters, it’s the in between. The final page of anyone’s story
will always end with their death, the beginning their birth. It’s the
chapters in between that matter; they’re where the real story is.
They’re what people relate to, what people draw from. It’s the
chapters that give people hope, when the protagonist overcomes
a particularly harrowing trial, or they find their soul mate when
they’d all but given up hope.” “Weren’t you asking me not to die
earlier?” Camila asked her seriously. “Yeah,” Lauren admitted
vaguely recalling the conversation, “but that’s because our story
isn’t over yet. So you can’t die Camz, because then at best we’ll
have a short story…” “So how many chapters do you want our
story to be?” Camila asked her teasingly. “I’m hoping it’ll be a
series of books,” Lauren replied, the corners of her mouth turning
up into a smile. “Me too,” Camila admitted. “Maybe like eight
 books in total…” “I was thinking a little bit higher,” Lauren said.
“Say around twelve…” Lauren leant forward to kiss Camila on the
lips lightly. “Or fourteen,” Camila offered as Lauren leant back
slightly. “Perhaps we could have one like that movie…what was it
called…the never ending story?” “A never ending story huh?”
Lauren questioned rhetorically. “Ilike the sound of that.” Lauren
leant forward and grazed her lips against Camila’s softly before
planting one over the scar on her forehead, Lauren’s hand behind
Camila’s neck all the while, pulling her closer to save her having to
stretch too far. For the next few hours, Camila and Lauren sat
together in the bed talking, just talking, about every little
conceivable thing that they could think about, their hands
entwined throughout, Lauren playing with Camila’s fingers out of
habit. Camila shared with Lauren the story about one weekend
when she was a child where she’d built an imaginary fort in her
room with her mom and had hidden away in it for hours, believing
herself to be a Disney princess, locked away in a tower awaiting
her prince. When no one had come to rescue her, Camila’s mom
had appeared and they’d ended up lying side by side, the rain
lashing in hard torrents against the outside of the window whilst
they’d told each other secrets and her mom had read her stories
until she’d fallen asleep.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trialsand-
tribulationschapter31 6/10 Lauren told Camila about the time
she’d tried to run away from home, her parents refusing her some
silly request which she couldn’t remember for the life of her now.
Lauren had packed up a small bag, filled with a couple of teddy
bears, a toothbrush, an extra solitary shoe and a couple of
assorted crayons with no paper or colouring book in sight. She’d
walked to the end of the street, determined and purposeful, only
to realise that she didn’t know where she was going and walking
straight back again, instead deciding to hide in the backyard
behind a bush. Her parents had been frantic with worry, searching
all over the house for her, calling in the neighbours to help in the
hunt for their missing daughter. Lauren confessed she’d been so
scared when she’d heard her dad’s worried call from the back
door that she’d darted out of her hiding place immediately to run
into his arms, feeling tired and cold from sitting on the ground all
day, crapped into the small confines of the space she’d occupied.
Lauren had been six at the time. “Aren’t you tired yet?” Camila
asked Lauren, stroking the side of her girlfriends’ face with the
back of her index finger. It was three in the morning and neither
of them had slept yet, Camila sneaking down to the kitchen at one
o’clock to raid Normani’s cupboards and get them something to
eat, the pair of them starving. They were lying together now,
Camila facing Lauren in the bed, one arm draped loosely over
Lauren’s waist, her hand resting in the small of her back. Their
feet were tangled up together beneath the covers and they lay
still, watching each other closely, studying each other’s features,
enjoying the relative silence which had fallen over them. “Aren’t
 you?” Lauren countered, lifting an arm to trace the curve of
Camila’s nose with her fingertip. Camila scrunched it up in
response and Lauren felt her stomach flutter at the sight. “No,”
Camila replied, her thumb brushing over Lauren’s lips lightly. “I’m
wide awake.” “Me too,” Lauren agreed. “Ithink I’ve finally sobered
up as well.” “It’s probably all the chips you ate,” Camila laughed,
her fingertips falling over Lauren’s jaw line before coming to a rest
on the side of her neck. “I’ve never done this before,” Lauren told
Camila, placing a hand on her shoulder and stroking it softly. “Lay
in bed?” Camila asked only half serious. “Stayed up all night
just…talking,” Lauren admitted. “It’s nice…” Camila smiled at
Lauren’s words. “We weren’t just talking,” Camila reminded her,
“Not the whole time anyway.” “Most of it though,” Lauren said.
“It’s like all those scenes from the movies or TV shows where the
couple get to know each other better…” “We did get to know
each other better,” Camila commented. “I know,” Lauren laughed,
“that’s why I said it.” “Oh,” Camila responded. “Camz, do you ever
wonder what would have happened if you’d not dropped your
books the first day of school?” Lauren asked her wondering. “How
do you mean?” Camila asked not following Lauren’s train of
thought. “Well…like, I’d never have come over to you.” Lauren
said seriously. “We’d never have met like we did and I’d probably
never have fallen head over heels…” “You fell head over heels?”
Camila asked smiling brightly cutting her off. “I did,” Lauren
admitted honestly not ashamed of her confession. “I don’t know,”
 Camila pondered Lauren’s question. “We have home room,
English and Math together this year. One way or another we’d
have crossed paths at some point.” “Do you think it would have
worked out the same way?” Lauren asked her. “Do you think we’d
still be lying here together?” “Are you asking me if I believe in
fate?” Camila questioned.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trialsand-
tribulationschapter31 7/10 “I guess I am,” Lauren replied in
realisation. “I don’t really believe in fate,” Camila disclosed. “I
mean, I have trouble believing that God intended for me to be
crossing the road at the exact moment that some guy decided to
run a red light. I don’t like to believe that was fated. That I was
meant to go through everything I have…” “What if it was meant
for you though?” Lauren responded. “What if you were supposed
to get hit by that car so that we’d meet in the hallway, so that
we’d fall in love and get together?” “And you called me a
romantic…” Camila laughed lightly, the sound making Lauren’s
stomach flip. “I’m being serious though,” Lauren pressed on.
“What would you say if that was the reason for your accident?
What if it was all some divine intervention that was planned to
bring us together?” “Them I’d say that it was worth it,” Camila
answered studying the thoughtful expression on Lauren’s face,
and caressing her brow with her hand. “You would?” Lauren
asked her. “You wouldn’t take it back if you were given the
chance? If it meant that we’d never meet.” Camila shook her
 head. “No,” she answered leaning forward to plant a kiss on
Lauren’s lips. “I wouldn’t. If therapy has taught me anything it’s to
try not to dwell on the past. Learn what you can from it and try to
move on. Don’t imagine what could have happened and wish it
had been so. You cannot change what has already happened.”
“When did you get so wise?” Lauren asked her; ecstatic at
Camila’s words and proud of the progress she’d continued to
make over the last few weeks. “I think it was around the time I
almost had a complete nervous breakdown in the cafeteria.”
Camila said, truth laced with her words. “I’m so proud of you,”
Lauren told her sincerely, stroking Camila’s forehead over the scar
once again, taking comfort in the familiarity of the gesture. “I’m
kind of proud of me too,” Camila admitted, her face erupting into
the widest grin Lauren had ever seen. “It feels nice to say that.”
“It’s nice to hear you say that,” Lauren informed her. “We should
try and sleep,” Camila suggested eyeing Lauren seriously. “You’re
probably right,” Lauren agreed and she shifted closer to Camila,
wrapping one arm around her girlfriend’s waist and pulling her
into her side. “Night,” Camila said simply, watching Lauren. “I love
you,” Lauren told her and Camila reciprocated the declaration. “I
love you too.” She said, leaning forward to kiss Lauren. Camila’s
lips lingered longer than she’d intended them to, pushing against
Lauren’s firmly as her right arm slipped beneath Lauren’s tshirt,
caressing the soft skin covering her back delicately. “Camz?”
Lauren questioned tilting her head back slightly confused. “Yeah,”
 Camila breathed, sighing heavily. “What are you doing?” Lauren
asked her surprised as she felt Camila’s hand fiddle with the
elastic waistband of her shorts. “I don’t know,” she admitted
truthfully. “Ijust…I want…” Lauren brought their lips together
again gently, her tongue licking Camila’s bottom one inquiringly.
She heard Camila moan quietly as her hand pushed up under her
Ed Sheeran tshirt, grazing the flesh of her stomach as it roamed
up to cup her now unsupported breast. Camila gasped in response
to Lauren’s touch, their mouths separating for the merest instant
before reconnecting again. Lauren shifted her position, pushing
Camila gently onto her back on the bed, straddling her carefully,
their lips connected the whole time, never parting.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/62944467364/trialsand-
tribulationschapter31 8/10 Camila moved her hands up onto
Lauren’s sides stroking them softly, Lauren leaning her weight
down on to her elbows either side of Camila’s head. Their tongues
were moving together in unison, completing the delicate dance
they always did together, slow, patient, each one enjoying the
taste of the other on their lips. Lauren’s hand moved back down
to Camila’s breast, teasing the nipple there lightly, her fingers
contracting around the flesh rhythmically as her other hand
roamed further south, running an elegant line down Camila’s
abdomen and over the soft material of her trousers. It hovered
over her centre for a minute, uncertainly, before coming to rest
on top of it, her fingers moving against it nimbly. “Lauren,” Camila
 moaned, their mouths separating as Lauren began to plant soft
kisses down Camila’s jaw line, sucking gently on the hollow of her
neck when it reached it, causing the smaller girl to arch her head
back in pleasure, push her hips forward so that her core collided
against Lauren’s well placed hand. Lauren moved her mouth
down, pushing up Camila’s tshirt with her nose and trailing soft
caresses down her stomach, towards her belly button and
beyond, coming to a stop just above where Camila’s trousers sat
on her hips. Lauren moved the hand there back and forth, rubbing
Camila gently, causing her hips to rock against it in response.
“God…” Camila whispered hoarsely, her eyes shut tight, her hot
breath on Lauren’s face as she lifted it to bring their mouths
together once more. Camila pulled one of her knees up towards
her, sliding it from beneath Lauren’s weight so that her girlfriends’
thigh now sat pressed against her own hand as it moved back and
forth slowly and assuredly. Lauren slid her hand back up onto
Camila’s stomach, pushing her bare thigh against the damp of
Camila’s trousers, her leg now taking over where the previous
appendage had left off. Lauren felt Camila’s hands on her sides,
paralysed, her girlfriends’ whole body tensing beneath her, her
hips pressing up as her back arched in response to Lauren’s touch.
Camila’s right leg, which Lauren was straddling flexed into her
girlfriends’ groin, making her very aware of how damp she was
and causing her breath to hitch in her throat at the realisation.
Lauren pulled her head back to look at Camila, whose eyes were
 now open again, her normally brown orbs now almost black, her
pupils dilated, her breathing erratic. She reached up and pulled
Lauren’s mouth back against hers, sucking on her bottom lip
determinately, eliciting a soft moan from Lauren in response.
Camila’s hands found their way down to Lauren’s buttocks,
planting themselves firmly on the flesh there and pulling her hips
into her closer, closer, closer, each advance pushing Lauren’s
thigh into her now drenched centre firmly, her right knee flexing
up into Lauren at the same time, their bodies colliding together
pleasurably. “Camz,” Lauren panted, her breath coming hard and
fast as Camila took the initiative and lifted her mouth to gently
suck on Lauren’s neck as their bodies started to pick up speed.
“Shit,” Lauren moaned her stomach tightening, a light tingling
beginning to emanate in her pelvis. She felt Camila’s hips gyrating
against her own now, forcing her leg up into Lauren’s core and her
centre into her girlfriends’ thigh. She was moving her hips quickly,
rubbing herself violently against Lauren’s leg, her hands, pushing
up the bottom of Lauren’s tshirt, stroking the taught muscles of
her abdomen lightly. “Fuck Camz,” Lauren panted again, her
whole body tensing up, her head spinning in pleasure. Camila
lifted her head up and bought their lips together once more,
reaching one hand to pull gently on Lauren’s neck, deepening the
kiss further, her tongue sucking decidedly on Lauren’s and
eliciting a groan of satisfaction from the other girl. Lauren felt
Camila tense beneath her and her body arched up as she
 shuddered, her frantic grinding stopping as she made one final
push of her hips against Lauren’s, moaning audibly as she did so.
The taller girl juddered in response, the tingling erupting within
her own stomach, exploding wildly as it spread throughout her
body. Lauren finally relaxed down on top of Camila, who had
buried her face into the crook of Lauren’s neck, kissing it lightly,
her chest heaving beneath her girlfriend. Camila’s breath was
warm against the skin of her neck and Lauren moved her face to
plant a soft kiss to Camila’s brow. “I love you,” Lauren mumbled
against Camila’s hot skin, kissing her over and over again lightly.
Camila reached up a hand to stroke Lauren’s face, brushing the
hair that was obstructing her eyes out of the way. “I love you
too,” Camila reciprocated breathless, her body still struggling to
inhale the necessary oxygen it required. Lauren moved her mouth
down to Camila’s once more, kissing her deeply, her eyes finally
fluttering closed with fatigue as they lay, frozen, in each other’s
arms.
Chapter 32
Lauren stirred awake slowly, her consciousness gradually
returning to her with each passing second, her eyes flickering
open hesitantly, the light in the room almost blinding compared
to the allencompassing darkness of sleep. She tightly shut her
eyes closed for a moment, forcing her lids together in order to
prepare for the sudden and inevitable influx of light before
inhaling deeply, her lungs sucking in a deep, content breath and
 opening them again, this time fully, to greet the new day. Lauren
frowned briefly in response to the view that first met her eyes,
the unfamiliar bedroom décor confusing her momentarily before
she recalled that she was in fact at Normani’s house and not in
her own bed at home. Awareness of the events of last night
slowly began to return to her as she lay there; the memories of
the school dance, of her night spent with Camila, the profoundly
honest conversations that they’d had, extending throughout the
night and into the early hours of the morning, culminating with
the first time that they’d ever pleasured each other. The memory
made Lauren blush and she became astutely aware of the tangle
of limbs around her, the weight of something heavy pressed
against her chest, the numbness which was slowly creeping up her
right arm towards her shoulder. Lauren angled her head a little to
look at the cause of her symptoms and she smiled as they fell over
Camila’s sleeping form which was pressed closely into her side.
Lauren’s arm was enveloped around the smaller girls’ torso
protectively, wedged between Camila’s body and the mattress,
the blood vessels and nerves compressed and protesting
uncomfortably, as a result of their confinement. She pulled her
arm out from under Camila carefully so as not to wake her
girlfriend, who’s chest was rising and falling steadily as she still
slept. Once free, Lauren flexed the fingers and elbow of her arm
rapidly, trying to encourage the blood to return to the now
somewhat ischaemic limb, causing pins and needles to spread
throughout it. Having finally restored some sensation to her arm,
Lauren returned it to rest across Camila’s shoulders, hugging her
girlfriend closely. Lauren’s fingertips started to play mindlessly
with the long dark locks of Camila’s soft hair which was spread
messily across her own chest. Camila’s head rested just beneath
Lauren’s right collar bone, her face turned away towards the
window as she dozed so that it was obscured from Lauren’s view.
Camila’s arm was draped across Lauren’s stomach, her hand
hanging limply on the other side of the bigger girls’ trunk,
suspended loosely in the air above the bed. One of Camila’s legs
was wrapped around the pair of Lauren’s, her small foot tucked
between Lauren’s ankles. Lauren lifted her left hand to rub small
gentle circles on Camila’s lower back where the skin was exposed,
her tshirt having ridden up as she moved around in the night. The
duvet had slipped down so that it was burying the back of
Camila’s thighs and Lauren paused for a moment to pull it up a
little so that it covered the smaller girl, enveloping her body
completely until just below the shoulder blades. Lauren leant
down and kissed the top of her girlfriend’s head, her lips lingering
there as she inhaled the sweet smell of Camila’s coconut
shampoo. Lauren moved her right hand slightly from around
Camila’s shoulders to play soothingly with the loose strands of
hair at Camila’s temple, her fingers brushing the skin beneath
them softly. She felt Camila stir a little beneath her touch, her
chin dropping down a little so that her face buried further into
 Lauren’s chest. They stayed like this for a while, Lauren loathing
the idea of waking Camila up with the knowledge of how difficult
she often found it to experience an undisturbed sleep. Half an
hour must have passed in contented silence, Lauren’s arms
wrapped around the sleeping form of Camila until, as is inevitable,
the http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 2/10 peace was broken suddenly, Dinah
erupting into the room unannounced, pushing the door open
noisily. “Morning!” Dinah exclaimed when her eyes fell on Lauren
and Camila knotted together on the bed. “Shhh,” Lauren hissed.
Her voice was low, barely above a whisper. “Camila’s still
sleeping.” “I’m not surprised,” Dinah replied, dropping her own
voice and winking as she stepped in to the room. “Did you two
have an energetic night?” she asked suggestively and Lauren
rolled her eyes as Dinah perched herself on the end of the bed.
“No,” Lauren told her simply. “Nothing happened. We just shared
the bed that’s all.” “You mean you two didn’t get down and
dirty?” Dinah asked a hint of disappointment in her voice. “No,”
Lauren informed her, not wanting to share the particulars of her
night with Camila. “We just slept. I swear you’ve all got one track
minds when it comes to sex.” “I’m just jealous,” Dinah laughed
waving her hand in response and glancing down at Camila who
was still fast asleep, clearly undisturbed by her friends’ sudden
appearance. “Wow, she’s out cold.” Dinah commented. “How
many pills did she take last night?” “None,” Lauren said frowning
 slightly. “None?” Dinah asked surprised. “Are you sure?” “Yeah,”
Lauren replied. “Is this not normal? Should I wake her up?” “No
don’t wake her,” Dinah said lifting her hands quickly. “Let her
sleep Lauren, for the love of God…” “I was trying to until you
came barging in here,” Lauren chuckled amused. “You’re not
exactly helping the situation you know.” Dinah nodded her head
in agreement with Lauren’s words. “Fine,” she said placing a hand
on Camila’s back for a moment before standing up from the bed.
“I’m going,” she told Lauren. “I only came in to tell you that Ally
and Normani are both really suffering this morning and are
desperate for some breakfast. They told me to tell you to hurry up
so that they can eat.” “Where are they?” Lauren asked her.
“They’re curled up on the sofa cursing alcohol,” Dinah laughed.
“So I’m going to go down and start belting out Beyoncé songs as
loud as I can…it serves them right for spiking the drinks.” “It was
them,” Lauren groaned making a face. “I should have known.” “I
believe the instigator was Normani,” Dinah informed her. “So if
you want revenge, she’s your girl.” “Noted,” Lauren replied as
Dinah tilted her head in Camila’s direction. “Did she keep you up
last night?” Dinah asked and Lauren rolled her eyes at the
question. “Not like that,” Dinah responded, groaning slightly.
“Now who’s got the one track mind? I meant…did she wake you
up, you know, when she had a nightmare? They’re scary right?”
she questioned and Lauren’s brow creased as she considered the
question. After what had happened between her and Camila last
 night she’d fallen almost immediately into a dreamless,
undisturbed sleep. “I don’t know,” Lauren shrugged, pushing
herself up in the bed slightly, cautious not to move too much and
wake Camila. “If she had one then she never woke me.” She told
Dinah seriously. “Perhaps I’m just a heavy sleeper?” “No way,”
Dinah disagreed. “If she’d had one you would have known about
it, trust me. No one sleeps that deeply. She’s even woken her
parents up before because she’s screamed so much, and they
sleep three doors away from her.” “So what?” Lauren
commented. “It’s not like she’s never gone a whole night without
waking up in a cold sweat before.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 3/10 Dinah raised her eyebrow slightly, a
small smirk on her lips. “Right?” Lauren asked for confirmation.
“Why don’t you ask her when she wakes up?” Dinah suggested,
her smile growing wider as she turned and headed towards the
door. Lauren watched Dinah go pondering her insinuation. Was
this really the first time Camila had slept through a whole night
undisturbed? She thought to herself, casting an eye down at her
still sleeping girlfriend. “Lauren” Dinah said, pausing in the
doorway, one hand holding onto the frame for support. “Try not
to be too long ok? I’m actually kind of hungry too.” “You guys can
eat without us,” Lauren laughed. “Yeah, but we’d rather eat with
you,” Dinah said smiling and looking over at Camila again. “You
know what? Don’t rush.” She told her coming to a decision. “I’ll
 stall them.” “Thanks,” Lauren said gratefully, not eager to move
from her current position she was so comfortable and content.
“Don’t mention it,” Dinah said before turning and disappearing
out of sight. Lauren kissed the top of Camila’s head again, her
girlfriend’s chest still rising and falling rhythmically, as she
radiated an appearance of pure relaxation. Over the next twenty
minutes, Lauren contemplated her decision not to share the
details of last night with Dinah and the rest of the girls. The more
she thought about it, the less she wanted to divulge the events,
the whole night having special significance and meaning for the
brunette. It wasn’t like she’d actually lied to Dinah either; she and
Camila hadn’t had sex, not really, not in the true sense of the
word. Yes, they’d been together, they’d shared something
intimate and pleasurable for them both, something which Lauren
would remember and treasure forever, but, it wasn’t sex. In fact,
Lauren wasn’t even sure she knew how to have sex with a girl, or
a boy for that matter. She felt completely naïve and inexperienced
about the whole thing. She figured that when it eventually
happened it would just, well, happen. What had happened
between her and Camila last night was much more than just
something physical anyway, it had been spiritual and it had been
profound. It was one of those moments in your life that you look
back on and cherished for the pure honesty it contained, the raw
expression of emotions, the sharing of secrets, hopes, dreams and
fears. They’d connected on a much more philosophical level and
 Lauren had found herself feeling overwhelmed at times that she
could care so much about someone else’s thoughts, that she
could literally hang off every word that someone said, eagerly
anticipating the next. She never knew that it was possible to share
so much of herself with someone, to find that the dreams and
fears that they expressed became your own. That was how Lauren
felt about Camila this morning, as though they were closer,
stronger. All she knew was that she wanted to do everything in
her power to help Camila achieve her dreams and would spare no
energy, no effort in protecting her from and aiding her to
overcome the things that she feared. Lauren felt Camila stir in her
arms, pulling her attention away from her reflective thoughts and
back to the unrivalled beauty of her girlfriend. Lauren tilted her
head down to look at Camila, who was burying her face closer into
Lauren’s chest, moving it from side to side slowly as though she
was protesting the return of consciousness and refusing to allow
it to return to her. After a moment, Camila lifted her face up, her
chin still resting on Lauren’s chest as their eyes met. “Morning,”
Lauren greeted her, stroking Camila’s forehead lightly with her
fingertips and softly brushing at the loose strands of hair which
fell across her brow. Camila closed her eyes for a moment, turning
her head so that the side of her face was resting on Lauren’s chest
facing the wall. “Morning,” she said drowsily, her arms enclosing
round Lauren’s body in a hug. “How are you feeling this
morning?” Lauren asked her uncertainly, suddenly feeling anxious
 about Camila’s thoughts in regards to last night. “I’m sleepy,”
Camila replied groggily, her right hand fiddling with Lauren’s tshirt
mindlessly, her eyes still closed. “I can see that,” Lauren chuckled,
still playing with Camila’s hair.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 4/10 “Also a little bit hungry,” Camila added
as an afterthought. “You don’t say?” Lauren laughed, stroking the
hair at the back of Camila’s neck instinctively. “You want some
food?” she offered and Camila nodded her head. “Well, the girls
are waiting on us for breakfast,” Lauren informed her, “so
perhaps we should go downstairs and…” “No,” Camila
interrupted, her right hand still playing with Lauren’s tshirt and
her eyes opening a little, the lids evidently still heavy. “I don’t
want to go downstairs yet.” Camila told her. “Ok,” Lauren said, a
small smile creeping on to her lips at the words. “Then we’ll stay
here a bit longer.” “Ok,” Camila agreed and Lauren watched her
for a moment before finally asking the question she’d been
debating for a few minutes. “Camz,” Lauren started hesitantly.
“Do you think we should talk about what happened last night?”
she finished nervously. “What happened last night?” Camila asked
drowsily. “You…you don’t remember?” Lauren asked, her
stomach dropping slightly. Camila turned her face up to look at
Lauren, a huge grin plastered across her features. “You’re messing
with me?” Lauren asked her, hitting Camila’s arm playfully. “That
was more fun than I thought,” Camila commented, dropping her
 head back on to Lauren’s chest. “You’re so mean to me,” Lauren
scolded Camila lightheartedly. “If you were anyone else I wouldn’t
have believed them but, you actually have memory problems…”
“I’m sorry,” Camila apologised sincerely, making a puppy dog face
as she lifted her chin up to look at Lauren. “I was only joking.”
Camila leant forward to try to kiss Lauren but she moved her face
to the side, denying her the opportunity. Camila smiled brightly at
Lauren’s reaction and planted a soft kiss on her now exposed
cheek instead; her lips lingering there until Lauren finally relented
and turned her face so that their mouths finally met. “Hmm,”
Camila sighed as they parted and she lowered her face once again
to rest against Lauren’s chest. “I don’t think we need to talk about
last night,” she told Lauren with a sense of finality. “You don’t?”
Lauren asked her. “No,” Camila replied, less tiredly then before.
“Why discuss and analyse something so perfect?” she asked. “You
thought it was perfect?” Lauren asked her beaming from ear to
ear. Camila nodded in to Lauren’s chest. “Yes,” she answered
honestly. “I guess this morning you’re the romantic,” Lauren
mused before adding, “but, just for the record, Ithought it was
pretty perfect too.” “So what do we tell the others?” Camila asked
her tracing small circles with her fingertips on Lauren’s abdomen.
“Nothing,” Lauren answered. “Last night was ours. No one else
needs to know about it.” “Good,” Camila replied, lifting her face
to look at Lauren again. “I want it to stay just ours as well.” “Camz
can I ask you something?” Lauren questioned, thinking back to
 what Dinah had suggested earlier. “Sure,” Camila said. Her chin
was now resting on Lauren’s collar bone as her face looked in to
Lauren’s neck. “Did you have a nightmare last night?” Lauren
asked her with interest. Camila’s brow creased in thought for an
instant before relaxing again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 5/10 “No,” Camila answered truthfully. “I
don’t remember having one and I normally do. Why do you ask?”
“No reason,” Lauren replied but only because she didn’t fully
understand why she’d asked. A comfortable silence fell between
them for a few minutes before Lauren decided to continue with
the same area of topic. “Camz is that the first time you’ve ever
slept through without having one?” Lauren questioned. “A
nightmare?” Camila responded searching for clarification. “Yeah,”
Lauren confirmed. “Huh,” Camila replied in realisation. “Yeah
Ithink it was.” “I thought you’d been sleeping better since you’ve
been taking your medication?” Lauren continued. “I can get to
sleep better,” Camila told her, “but it doesn’t stop the
nightmares. I’d taken them the night that Dinah stayed at mine
and I had a nosebleed.” She shared with Lauren. “I was having a
nightmare when she woke me up.” “You didn’t have one last night
though?” Lauren questioned thoughtfully. “I guess not,” Camila
answered. “Weird. Perhaps we should always sleep together from
now on.” “I wouldn’t be opposed to that suggestion,” Lauren
admitted. “We only have to get my parents to somehow agree to
 it,” Camila deliberated. “I wouldn’t actually put it past them to
agree if they thought it helped me to sleep.” She laughed. “I’ll let
you ask them,” Lauren chuckled. “I don’t think I could face
discussing it with your mom…or your dad for that matter. I’d
probably want to curl up in to a ball and die of embarrassment…”
Camila leant up and kissed Lauren on the mouth cutting her off.
“Perhaps it’s because you make me feel safe,” Camila told her
seriously when they’d parted. “I don’t think anything could scare
me whilst you’re around.” Lauren smiled and kissed her again,
their mouths coming together to deepen the kiss, Camila’s hand
finding its way up to the side of Lauren’s neck and resting there.
“Ok love birds, I’ve waited as long as I can,” Ally said, interrupting
the moment from the door way and causing both Camila and
Lauren to look in her direction. “My stomach is literally starting to
eat itself, so, can you please, please, come downstairs so we can
eat?” “Ally,” Lauren protested as Camila dropped her head onto
her chest, her face turned towards the door. “Can’t you knock?”
“Oh please,” Ally said waving her hand dismissively. “It’s not like I
would have been interrupting anything. Dinah already told us you
guys didn’t get up to anything last night…I’m kind of disappointed
if I’m honest,” she noted. Camila turned her face to give Lauren a
questioning look, clearly lost by the conversation, not having
known that Dinah had come in to the room earlier. “When will the
two of you get another opportunity to be alone without any form
of parental or adult supervision?” Ally asked. “Not everything is
 about sex,” Lauren told her ignoring Camila’s gaze until her
girlfriend turned her attention back to the doorway. “That’s
because you’ve not had it yet,” Ally responded. “You could have
just eaten without us,” Lauren informed her logically. “You didn’t
have to wait.” “Perhaps,” Ally conceded, “but, we’re all friends
and we thought it would be nice to eat breakfast together.”
Lauren smiled at Ally’s words.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 6/10 “You are moody when you’re hung
over,” Lauren told her laughing. “Blame Normani,” Ally replied.
“She’s the one that bought the alcohol.” “You didn’t have to drink
it,” Lauren laughed. “Or keep drinking it for that matter.” “I didn’t
think I was that drunk,” Ally protested. “Anyway, how are you not
suffering this morning? You had just as much as either of us.” “I
may have snuck down to the kitchen and had a midnight feast,”
Lauren admitted. “I think the food soaked up the alcohol.” “Oh,
why didn’t think of that?” Ally asked mockingly. “I know,” she said
quickly, “because I’m normal and was asleep. Now,” she went on.
“Will you two please get your asses downstairs?” “We’re just
coming,” Lauren told her, dragging out her response for a
moment to make her suffer some more. “Thank you,” Ally sighed
in relief before turning around and heading back downstairs. “I
don’t want to go,” Camila protested, holding on to Lauren tightly
and burying her face in to her girlfriend’s stomach. “Please don’t
make me. I’m so cosy here…” “There might be pancakes?” Lauren
 offered and Camila lifted her head quickly in response.
“Pancakes?” she asked suddenly enthusiastic. “Ok, I guess we can
get up,” she said as she reached back and threw the covers off of
her, untangling her legs from Lauren’s as she rolled off the bed,
over her girlfriend. “Hmmpfh” Lauren groaned as Camila
squashed her. Lauren speedily climbed out of the bed after her
girlfriend, walking briskly to catch up with her on the landing
where she grabbed Camila’s wrist, spinning her around and
kissing her quickly, crashing their lips together as she threw her
arms around her waist, pulling their bodies close together. “Oh,”
Camila said softly in response as they parted. “Ok…” she started
as Lauren crashed their lips together again and Camila lifted her
left hand to stroke the side of her girlfriends’ face. “I love you,”
Lauren breathed as they parted. Their faces were still close, her
arms still around Camila’s waist. “I realised that I hadn’t told you
yet today.” Camila smiled and reciprocated Lauren’s declaration.
“I love you more,” she answered, kissing Lauren once again,
deepening it, her free hand sliding down on to Lauren’s buttock.
She patted it lightly before pulling her face back, a broad grin on
her face. “I think I love pancakes more than you though,” she
teased before turning quickly and bounding down the stairs. “I
don’t blame you!” Lauren called after her, shaking her head in
amusement before descending down the stairs herself. She found
Camila in the kitchen with the others who were huddled at the
island in the middle around a number of assorted breakfast
 ingredients. “It’s about time,” Normani greeted Lauren looking
decidedly the worse for wear. “I almost starved to death waiting
for you to wake up.” “You look like crap,” Lauren returned
laughing at Normani’s reception. “Ugh, Ifeel like crap,” Normani
responded as Camila dipped her finger into the pancake mix that
Ally had been preparing and sucked on it for a moment. “Well,
that’ll teach you not to drink won’t it?” Lauren replied as she
made her way around behind Camila and wrapped her arms
around the smaller girls’ torso, crossing her hands over her
girlfriends’ abdomen and resting her chin on Camila’s shoulder.
She rocked the smaller girl slightly in her arms and Camila dipped
her finger in the pancake mix again quickly, reaching up to smear
it playfully on Lauren’s cheek. Lauren rolled her eyes good-
humouredly before rubbing the now covered cheek against
Camila’s, holding her body in place as she tried to squirm out of
Lauren’s reach. “Ugh,” Normani groaned, “why are you two so
energetic on a Sunday morning? Are you even normal?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 7/10 “Camila isn’t,” Dinah commented
matter of factly as Ally started to cook some pancakes and bacon
on the stove. “Hey,” Camila protested, wiping at her face with the
back of her hand and licking the pancake mix of it determinedly.
“Not fair. You aren’t exactly normal either you know?” “I never
said that I was,” Dinah replied, sticking her tongue out at Camila
smiling. Camila picked up a spoon from the counter which had a
 small amount of mix still on it and flicked it in Dinah’s direction.
Dinah’s mouth dropped open in surprise as it hit her square in the
forehead and she made a move towards Camila around the island.
“Crap,” Camila said, wriggling free of Lauren and making a move
in the opposite direction as Dinah changed course to head her off.
“Shit!” Camila shouted, changing track and going back the way
she came, Dinah copying her. “Shit!” Camila exclaimed as Dinah
came around the island quickly and she ran past Ally towards the
entrance to the kitchen, disappearing through the door. “Yeah
you better run Mila!” Dinah called after her and she disappeared
too, leaving Normani, Ally and Lauren in the kitchen to prepare
breakfast. “Why is everyone so loud?” Normani complained,
holding a hand to her head. Lauren turned around and picked up a
pair of sunglasses she’d noticed sitting on the kitchen counter.
She handed them to Normani a smirk on her face. “Here,” she
said glibly. “Wear these.” “I hate you,” Normani grumbled, but
she took the item any way and put them on as Camila reappeared
through the door out of breath. She ran around the island as
Dinah also reentered the room and Camila held her hands up in
front of her defensively as the taller girl made her way towards
where she was stood. “How are you so fast?” Dinah asked Camila
evidently out of breath from chasing her. “I thought you were
supposed to be clumsy…” “I slept well,” Camila said simply as if
that answered it, her face turning up in to a smile at the
annoyance on Dinah’s face and the obvious traces of the pancake
 mix which remained above her right eye. “You look pretty,”
Camila teased sensing she’d won. “I…you…I look pretty?” Dinah
questioned in disbelief at Camila’s cheeky tone as she tried to
make her way around the island again just as Ally turned off the
stove and plated up the food seemingly undisturbed by the
conversations going on around her. “Now wait a minute,” Camila
said, holding her hands up again and moving in the opposite
direction to Dinah. “Let’s not do anything stupid…there’s a very
real chance that the food will get caught up in the crossfire here
Dinah. Do you really want to hurt the food? I mean, just think
about it for a minute.” Dinah feigned contemplation before finally
sighing in resignation. “Fine,” she agreed, “but this is just for the
safety of the food. Do you hear me Mila? This is not over yet.”
“Ok,” Camila laughed, snaking her arms around Lauren’s waist
and pulling her into a side hug. Lauren placed a protective arm
around her girlfriends’ shoulder and Dinah narrowed her eyes at
the sight. “Don’t even think of getting in the way Lauren,” Dinah
threatened lightly. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Lauren replied and
Camila lifted her head up to look at Lauren, a worried expression
on her face. “You’d let Dinah kill me?” Camila asked her. “I don’t
think she’ll kill you,” Lauren mused, sharing an amused look with
Dinah. “Plus, you did kind of start it Camz. I’d thought you’d have
learnt not to mess with Dinah.” “You’re all so loud,” Normani
moaned as she sat at one of the chairs at the island, Ally placing a
plate of pancakes and a glass of juice in front of her with a couple
 of aspirin. “Here have these,” Ally said to her and Normani
thanked her as the others also sat down to eat.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trialsand-
tribulationschapter32 8/10 “Thanks Ally,” Camila said
appreciatively as she began to tuck in to her pancakes. “No
problem,” Ally replied, taking a seat and eating her own breakfast
greedily. “You’ve definitely perked up since you came thundering
in on us earlier,” Lauren noted. “You’d be surprised what a couple
of painkillers and some food will do,” Ally chuckled. “Amen,”
Camila responded with a mouthful of food to which the others
gave her a meaningful look, Lauren laughing at her girlfriend.
“Mila you’re not hung over,” Dinah commented laughing and
Camila lowered her fork for a moment and swallowed her
mouthful of food to answer. “Painkillers and food is the motto I’ve
lived by since my accident.” Camila joked. “They’re one of the
best combinations of things I’ve ever had the pleasure
of….combining.” she finished making an unsure face at her use of
words. She shrugged off the sentence, returning to her breakfast.
“So what are we doing today?” Dinah asked. “I’m thinking movies
on the sofa and more food,” Normani offered, feeling decidedly
unimpressed at the idea of having to get up and leave the house.
“Agreed,” Ally seconded. “Same,” Lauren concurred. “Ok,” Dinah
said standing up from the table having finished her breakfast and
taking her plate over to the sink. “Does anyone want something
else to drink?” she asked opening the fridge and pouring some
bottled water in to the glass she held in her hand. “No,” everyone
answered in unison as they finished their pancakes. “Those were
amazing Ally,” Camila practically sighed in contentment. “There’s
some cereal if you’re still hungry,” Normani offered. “That’s
alright,” Camila said reaching for the fruit bowl in the middle of
the island and picking up a banana. “I’ll just have this if that’s ok?”
she asked. “Knock yourself out,” Normani replied, lifting the
sunglasses off her eyes and resting them on the top of her head,
feeling a little better for the aspirin she’d taken. Lauren made a
face at Normani’s choice of words but Camila smiled at hearing
them. “Thanks,” Camila replied bringing the banana closer to her,
ready to open it. “Holy… shit,” she cursed suddenly as Dinah
poured the glass of cold water she’d been carrying over Camila’s
head as she passed her by. “Dinah!” she protested as her friend
returned to her previous seat. “Ithought we had a ceasefire?”
“We did…whilst there was imminent danger to the food,” Dinah
replied. “I’m still eating,” Camila complained holding up her
banana for emphasis. “Oh sorry,” Dinah said smirking. “I should
have been clearer. I meant whilst there was imminent danger to
my food.” She laughed and the rest of the girls joined in as Lauren
placed a sympathetic hand on Camila’s shoulder. Camila pouted,
running her hand through her hair, her fingers getting tangled
slightly. “Aww…” Lauren said leaning over and kissing Camila on
the lips. “Don’t pout,” she said kissing her again. “It makes me
want to kiss you and that’s not fair.” She finished kissing her
 again. Camila’s mouth twitched into a reflexive smile for the
briefest moment before she said; her face neutral, “In that case
I’m going to pout all the time.” Camila did as she promised and
Lauren really really tried to resist the urge to kiss her, personal
stubbornness refusing to let Camila and her adorable face win.
“God,” Lauren finally groaned when the temptation became too
much to bear. “Fine,” she relented, leaning forward to kiss Camila
again, this time lingering longer and deepening the kiss, the damp
from Camila’s face transferring to her own, drips of water trickling
down Camila’s forehead. “You’re so whipped,” Normani observed
amused, a light laugh escaping her lips at the sight of the two of
them. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63109183619/trials-
andtribulationschapter32 9/10 “That’s Camren, yo,” Dinah said
laughing. Lauren turned to look at Dinah, taking the banana which
was still in Camila’s hand and throwing it in the taller girls’
direction as hard as she could. It collided with her face and
Dinah’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Hey,” Camila protested, “I was
going to eat that.” “Mila,” Dinah said standing up, “Say goodbye
to your girlfriend.” “Bye,” Camila said nonchalantly as Lauren also
stood from her chair and copied Camila’s defensive stance from
earlier, holding up her hands in front of her. “You’d let her kill
me?” Lauren asked Camila and her girlfriend shrugged, reaching
for another banana and peeling it slowly. “I don’t think she’ll kill
you,” Camila repeated Lauren’s earlier words back to her, taking a
bite of her banana casually. “Plus, you did start it.” “Listen Dinah,”
 Lauren said seriously, “let’s talk about this alright?” “No,” Dinah
said simply making her way around the table with a canister of
whipped cream. “Let’s do this.” “Crap,” Lauren said making a
beeline for the kitchen door and escaping quickly, Dinah following
close behind her. Normani lowered the sunglasses back over her
eyes and groaned, leaning her head down onto her forearms on
the table. “Love you!” Camila shouted after Lauren smirking as
she finished her banana, sharing an amused look with Ally who
was shaking her head slightly from side to side, a large grin on her
face.
Chapter 33
“So what’s the plan for tomorrow then?” Ally asked the other
girls’ excitedly. She was tapping her fingers lightly on the desk to
her right, her body twisted in the chair so that she could see
everyone in the assembled group properly. She was sat with
Dinah, Lauren and Camila in home room on the Tuesday following
the school dance, which, just so happened to also be the final
week of classes before the Winter break. “I thought we were
going to Lauren’s house.” Dinah replied, shifting position in her
chair slightly, her back complaining at the awkward position she’d
initially adopted for this conversation. “We are aren’t we?”
Lauren asked uncertainly. “At least, Ithought that we were.” “We
are,” Camila confirmed, her hand resting in Lauren’s lap under the
desk, her girlfriend playing with her fingers reflexively out of
habit. “Lo, I thought you said that we couldn’t go to yours because
your parents were going to be there?” Ally asked confused. “No,”
Lauren replied frowning. “My parents are out tomorrow evening
at my dad’s company Christmas party.” “We couldn’t go to mine,”
Camila told Ally as she leant back in her chair a little and slumped
down into a more comfortable position. “My parents are having
friends over for dinner so the house is off limits.” “Oh yeah,” Ally
said in realisation. “Now I remember.” “What movies have we got
for the Christmas movie marathon?” Dinah asked Lauren eagerly,
looking forward to the festive themed evening. “If we aren’t
watching ‘Elf’ then I’m judging you, just so you know.” She added
as an afterthought. “Then I guess it’s a good thing we’ve got Elf.”
Lauren commented, laughing. “I’m bringing ‘Home Alone’ and
‘Miracle on 34 th Street’,” Camila informed her friend a grin on
her face. “Ilove those movies.” “I’ve also got ‘A Muppet’s
Christmas Carol,’ ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas,’ ‘Love
Actually,’ ‘The Santa Clause,’ and ‘Black Christmas,’ Lauren listed
for Dinah. “Black Christmas?” Ally asked surprised. “Lo, that’s not
exactly a feel good Christmas movie you know?” “Please,” Lauren
pleaded. “We never get to watch horror movies,” she complained.
“We watched horror movies over Halloween.” Ally protested. “I
remember because Camila spent the whole evening hidden
beneath a blanket.” “I was scared,” Camila admitted. “I hate
horror movies. There’s too much blood and violence…” “Oh come
on guys,” Lauren groaned. “All I’m asking is to watch one non-
traditional Christmas movie in the midst of all the others. You can
 consider it your Christmas present to me if you like.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63208587312/trialsand-
tribulationschapter33 2/9 “I’m not watching a horror movie about
a serial killer the week before Christmas,” Ally grumbled. “I don’t
like them any more than Camila does.” “I don’t mind,” Dinah said
in Lauren’s defence. “It’s only one movie after all…” “Thank you,”
Lauren said gratefully, lifting her free hand up and gesturing
towards Dinah emphatically. “Camila what do you think about it?”
Ally asked looking for support. Camila glanced at Lauren who
raised her eyebrow in anticipation of her girlfriends’ response. “I’d
prefer not to watch it,” Camila said timidly, “but, Lauren always
watches what we want to so, I guess one film won’t hurt.” She
finished shrugging. “I can always hide under a blanket again…”
“I’d prefer it if you just buried your face against my chest whilst
we watched it instead,” Lauren said squeezing Camila’s hand and
smiling brightly. “That way I can hug you close and protect you.”
“Aww…” Camila said, leaning over and kissing Lauren on the lips
briefly. “That’s really sweet.” “If you really don’t want to watch it
Camz,” Lauren said, relenting at the thought of forcing Camila to
endure something which she didn’t want to. “I guess I can watch it
on my own another time.” “Now I kind of want to watch it
though,” Camila replied pouting at Lauren who bent forward to
kiss Camila lightly on the forehead, causing the smaller girl to
smile brightly in response. “Let me ask you this Ally,” Lauren said
turning back towards her friend in front of her. “If we weren’t
 going to watch ‘Black Christmas’ then what other film would you
want to watch instead?” Ally thought about it for a moment but
could not come up with a suggestion despite her best efforts.
“Dinah?” Lauren asked. “Hey, I’m happy with Black Christmas,”
Dinah said shrugging. “Camz,” Lauren questioned, turning her
attention back to her girlfriend. “’It’s a Wonderful Life,’” Camila
suggested thoughtfully. “Ilove that movie.” She mused. “It’s dark,
yet uplifting. It’s one of my favourite Christmas movies of all
time.” Lauren studied Camila for a moment, biting her bottom lip
as she considered the recommendation. She was loathed to ever
deny Camila anything that she wanted and she definitely couldn’t
argue that it wasn’t a good movie. “Ok,” Lauren finally conceded.
“I’ll drop ‘Black Christmas’ for ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’” “Yes,” Ally
rejoiced. “You will not regret it. I’ll get you a little extra gift in
compensation for your sacrifice.” “You don’t have to do that…”
Lauren replied seriously. “Wait a minute Lauren,” Dinah said,
putting her hand up to stop her midsentence. “Let’s not be hasty
here. What kind of gift are we talking?” she asked interestedly.
“It’ll be a surprise,” Ally returned chuckling slightly. “Just
remember that I am also losing out on seeing ‘Black Christmas,’”
she reminded her. “Surely I should get some compensation too.”
“I’ll consider it,” Ally replied. “That’s all I ask,” Dinah accepted. “So
we’re all exchanging gifts tomorrow?” Lauren asked glancing at
Camila. “Yes,” Ally confirmed. “I’m visiting my grandparents in
Texas over the holidays,” she informed her. “So I’ll not be
 around.” “Normani is going to Houston as well,” Dinah reminded
them. “So we decided tomorrow would probably be the best time
to do it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63208587312/trialsand-
tribulationschapter33 3/9 “I can’t wait to give you mine,” Camila
told Lauren, a smile appearing across her features. “Have you
secretly signed us up to perform something together at the
Christmas show on Friday?” Lauren asked lightheartedly, recalling
the conversation that they’d had back before they’d ever been a
couple. “What?” Camila replied anxiously. “No! Have you?” she
asked panicked. “No,” Lauren laughed as she observed Camila’s
response. “I would never do that to you.” “Oh my God,” Camila
reacted, reaching up a hand and rubbing at her temple for a
minute, narrowing her eyes as if in pain. “Don’t do that to me! I
think I almost had a heart attack.” “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised
sincerely, noting Camila’s agitation. “I was only teasing.” She said,
leaning forward to plant a soothing kiss above Camila’s right
eyebrow. “I know that I’ve gotten better at the guitar but I’m
nowhere near ready to perform in front of an audience.” Camila
noted, still rubbing at her temple. “I know,” Lauren
acknowledged. “I would have asked you first. Don’t worry.”
“Perhaps we can perform another time,” Camila offered, closing
her eyes for a minute and pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Maybe,” Lauren replied frowning at the obvious discomfort
Camila was in. “Are you alright?” she asked concerned. “I’ve just
 got a headache,” Camila admitted. “Is it because of what just
happened?” Lauren asked, reaching her free hand up to place it
on Camila’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” “No Lauren, it
wasn’t you,” Camila reassured her. “I’ve had it since I woke up, it’s
just…it seems to be getting worse now.” “Have you taken
something?” Lauren asked her, placing the back of her free hand
against Camila’s head as if checking her temperature. She slid her
hand down to cup Camila’s cheek, brushing it lightly with the pad
of her thumb after a while. “I took something before school,”
Camila informed her. “I can’t have anything else for another
couple of hours yet.” “Should Ilet Miss Lovato know?” Dinah
asked her uncertain what to do. “No,” Camila told her, offering a
small encouraging smile “I’m fine; honestly, it’ll pass in a bit. They
normally do.” “Did you not sleep well last night?” Ally asked her,
knowing that lack of sleep often triggered Camila’s headaches.
“Not really,” Camila admitted, meeting Ally’s eyes. “I think I only
managed to get an hour or so.” “Was it the nightmares again?”
Dinah asked her, already suspecting that it was. “Yes,” Camila
confirmed, turning her attention to Dinah. “The same ones you
normally get?” Ally asked her, “About the accident?” “The trial
too,” Camila shared with them as she glanced back over at Lauren
who was giving her a sympathetic smile, her hand resting on the
side of Camila’s neck. “The trial?” Ally asked surprised. “I didn’t
think that would be for months yet?” “It won’t,” Camila agreed,
“but my parents’ attorney got in contact with them yesterday and
 told me that a disposition has been scheduled for the week after
Christmas and I have to go to it.” “So you’ll finally see him?” Dinah
asked. “Why didn’t you tell me yesterday? Are you alright?” “I’m
fine,” Camila replied honestly. “I knew it was going to be coming
at some point. I just thought I’d have a little bit more time to
prepare myself, that’s all.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63208587312/trialsand-
tribulationschapter33 4/9 “Apparently the douchebag is pleading
not guilty to the charge,” Lauren told them angrily, squeezing
Camila’s hand. “Can you believe that?” “What?” Dinah asked in
disbelief. “I thought that they had lots of evidence against him?
How can he do that?” “It’s his right to,” Ally informed her
displeased. “Frustrating for you though Camila huh? It means it’ll
probably drag out longer now.” Camila shrugged in response to
Ally’s comments. “I don’t know,” she admitted, rubbing at her
temple again. “I’m trying not to think about it too much to be
honest. I don’t want it to ruin Christmas.” “It’s a shame your
subconscious won’t let you though,” Dinah commented
knowingly. “You’re telling me,” Camila noted and Lauren rubbed
her girlfriend’s shoulder soothingly as the bell rang. “Try not to
worry about it too much Camila,” Ally said offering her a
supportive smile as she stood from her chair and collected her
things, the other girls following suit. “There’s no way he’ll walk
after everything that they’ve got on him. I’m sure it’ll just be a
formality.” “Thanks Ally,” Camila said appreciatively. “I hope so.”
“I’ll see you guys at lunch alright,” Ally said, giving the other three
a small wave goodbye. “See you later Ally,” Lauren replied as the
smaller girl darted out of the room towards her next class. “I
should go too,” Dinah said, making a face at not wanting to leave
Camila just yet after hearing this newest piece of information.
“Are you going to be alright?” “I’ll be fine,” Camila laughed. “Get
to class,” she instructed. “I’ll see you at lunch.” “Ok,” Dinah
replied. “See you later.” “Before you even try to protest I’m
walking you to French,” Lauren told Camila decisively. “I hoped
that you would,” Camila replied as Lauren picked up her
girlfriend’s bag and put it over her shoulder. She pulled on
Camila’s hand gently, bringing her closer to her side so that she
could snake an arm around her waist. They exited the classroom
and stepped out into the hallway together, Lauren’s arm wrapped
protectively around Camila’s torso. Camila leant her head against
Lauren’s shoulder as they made their way towards her French
class and Lauren glanced at her girlfriend who seemed quietly
reflective, deep in thought. “Want to share?” Lauren asked her as
they turned a corner. “I’m just thinking,” Camila told her wistfully.
“I can see that,” Lauren replied laughing as Camila lifted her head
and turned her face to meet her girlfriend’s piercing green eyes.
“What about?” “Well I was wondering,” Camila started her tone
neutral. “I’ve gotten you two Christmas presents. One for the
group thing tomorrow,” she continued, “and one from me for
Christmas…you know, as your girlfriend. So, do I give them both to
you tomorrow or, one of them tomorrow and the other nearer to
Christmas day?” “That’s what you were thinking about?” Lauren
asked amused. “I thought you were thinking about the trial!”
“No,” Camila replied, smiling herself now at Lauren’s assumption.
“I told you, I refuse to think about it until after Christmas.” “Well,”
Lauren said pausing outside Camila’s class. “I’ve also gotten you
two presents, so, how about we exchange one tomorrow and
then one Christmas eve?” Camila’s mouth turned up into a smile
at the suggestion. “Ok,” Camila replied excitedly as she pushed
herself up onto her tip toes and kissed Lauren firmly on the lips,
wrapping her arms around her neck.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63208587312/trialsand-
tribulationschapter33 5/9 “Ok,” Lauren reciprocated, holding on
to Camila’s hand as she turned to enter her classroom and only
letting it go at the last possible moment. Camila glanced over her
shoulder back at Lauren, a smile on her lips as she waved
goodbye. Lauren smiled in return and waved back before leaving
to head towards her own class. Camila sat in her usual seat at the
back of the class, throwing her bag on to the floor at her feet and
resting her head in one hand, closing her eyes to rub at her
temple roughly, trying to soothe the headache which she had. She
groaned inwardly, frustrated at herself. She crossed her arms over
the desk, lowering her forehead to rest on them for a moment as
she waited for class to start. When Mrs Edwards arrived she
assigned the class the task of pairing up with someone else to
 practice their French whilst they discussed their plans for the
upcoming holidays. “Bonjour Camila,” Rachel said, taking the seat
beside the other girl, evidently deciding to partner with her.
Camila lifted her head up from its current position to look at
Rachel who was watching her closely, a smile on her face. “Hi,”
Camila replied. “So, can I be your partner?” Rachel asked and
Camila looked around the room for a moment to find that
everyone else was already paired up. “Sure,” she answered,
sitting up and placing the palm of her hand over one eye for a
minute. “Are you alright?” Rachel asked her concerned. “It’s just a
headache,” Camila informed her. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Alright,” Rachel replied doubtfully. “You’ll like, tell someone if it
is though…” “Is what?” Camila asked her. “Something to worry
about,” Rachel clarified. “Yeah,” Camila answered, bending down
to pick up her bag and take out her notebook and a pen. “I’ll let
you know.” “So, how have you been?” Rachel asked her, leaning
across the gap in the desk slightly. “I haven’t really seen you since
that day in the hallway. Has David been giving you any more
trouble?” “No,” Camila replied, resting her head in her right hand
as she looked at Rachel. “It’s just been a few comments in
passing, nothing too bad so far.” “Well I’ll talk to him,” Rachel
promised. “See if I can get him to leave you alone.” “Why would
you do that?” Camila asked her interestedly. “Ilike you,” Rachel
replied simply. “I already told you that.” “You said you were just
messing with me,” Camila reminded her, narrowing her eyes
 slightly and pinching the bridge of her nose, her head throbbing
painfully. “I was initially,” Rachel acknowledged, “but, I’m not
now. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was just trying to
get to know you so that I could get Lauren back but, you’re kind of
fascinating…now I don’t even think about Lauren…Ijust think
about you.” “I think about Lauren,” Camila told Rachel seriously.
“She’s all I think about. We’re together…” “I know,” Rachel
interceded, “but if things don’t work out with her then I want you
to know that I’ll be waiting.” “Things will work out with me and
Lauren,” Camila told her without hesitation. “How do you know
that?” Rachel asked her. “I just do,” Camila replied adamantly. “I
love her and she loves me. Nothing could get in the way of that.”
“Well, we’ll see I guess,” Rachel commented. “You’ll see,” Camila
responded. “I already know it’s true,” she said, her faith in their
relationship clear.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63208587312/trialsand-
tribulationschapter33 6/9 “Your hair is getting longer,” Rachel said
changing topic and pointing to the left side of Camila’s head. “It
looks cute.” Camila lifted her hand up to pull at the thick strands
of newly grown hair reflexively, her fingers tousling it a little,
feeling somewhat selfconscious. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Rachel
told her. “I’m being serious. You can’t even see the scar there
anymore.“ “I…uh…” Camila started not sure how to respond to
Rachel’s compliment. Luckily she was saved by Mrs Edwards
coming over to see how they were getting on. “Ça ne sonne pas
 comme les filles françaises,” she said to them on hearing them
converse. “Désole,” Rachel replied and Mrs Edwards made her
way back down to the front of the class. They spent the next
twenty minutes trying to converse in French and complete the
assigned task, Camila struggling with the language and becoming
increasingly frustrated. “I hate French,” she grumbled, dropping
her head on top of her arms which were crossed over her desk
and sighing heavily. “You’re getting better,” Rachel encouraged.
“Come on, don’t give up.” Camila lifted her head again to
continue, but closed her eyes, feeling slightly dizzy. She reached
her hand up to massage her temple again, her headache from
earlier still present. Camila shook her head gently from side to
side before opening her eyes again to look at Rachel who was
watching her. “Do you still have a headache?” She asked
worriedly. “Why don’t you take something for it?” she
recommended. “I…c…c…can’t,” Camila managed to express, her
face taking on a look of confusion at the sudden loss of speech.
“Are you sure that you’re alright?” Rachel asked her, studying her
closely. Camila shook her head, disconcerted by her inability to
speak. It had been a while since she’d last suffered from any
major difficulties talking and it worried her that she now seemed
incapable of voicing anything. “Should I tell Mrs Edwards?” Rachel
asked her anxiously as Camila stood up from her seat. As she
stood, Camila had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu, like she’d
lived in this exact moment before, that she’d experienced this
very thing, exactly as it was happening now. The sensation dazed
her so much that she found herself reaching out a hand for the
desk to help steady herself, worried that she was going to pass
out. “Mrs Edwards!” Camila heard Rachel call through muffled
ears, the sound only serving to increase the disturbing sensation
of déjà vu she was having. “Camila you should sit down,” Rachel
prompted, standing from her chair to help her back in to her seat,
but Camila stood firmly in place. “Shh…” Camila managed to say,
her eyes closed and her head hung low. She wanted her to stop
Rachel talking, each word she’d said, mimicking her ‘memory’ of
this situation from before. Unfortunately, her own words were
also familiar to her and Camila felt her stomach rise up uneasily
making her feel nauseous. “Stop…t…t…tal…talk…ing…” She
became astutely aware of a metallic taste in her mouth and an
excessive amount of saliva which, no matter how much she
swallowed, she couldn’t get rid of. She kept swallowing hard,
wishing the taste to go away, the saliva to diminish, but, it didn’t.
A few moments later, when her vision became tunnelled and she
was filled with a sudden sense of inexplicable dread and
overwhelming fear, Camila suddenly understood what was
happening to her, the realisation hitting her with absolute
certainty. “I’m about to have a seizure,” Camila thought,
recognising the déjà vu for what it was now, an aura and knowing
that there was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable fit that
would follow. “Shit,” she thought, trying her best to recall what
 she should be doing in this situation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63208587312/trialsand-
tribulationschapter33 7/9 She vaguely recalled her neurologist
telling her to sit down or put herself on the floor when this
happened to prevent injury, but, just as the thought occurred to
her and she lifted her hand from the table ready to move, she
passed out. Camila’s whole body fell to the floor, the right side of
her head colliding noisily with the corner of the desk with a
sickening crack as she dropped into a crumpled heap, convulsing
violently. “Camila,” Mrs Edwards called as she ran over to the girl,
the ten seconds that had passed from the time she’d been
beckoned dissipating before she’d even had a chance to respond
to Rachel’s concerns. She knelt down beside Camila, rolling her
small form on to her side and placing her in the recovery position.
“Rachel, go and get the school nurse,” she instructed her swiftly.
Rachel jumped in to action, not hesitating for even a moment as
she disappeared in to the hallway. “Lydia,” Mrs Edwards said,
turning to another girl who was stood nearby. “I need you to call
an ambulance ok?” she asked, but Lydia stood frozen, clearly in
shock at seeing Camila in the throes of a seizure. “Lydia?” Mrs
Edwards prompted sternly. “I’ll do it,” one of the boys in the class
offered, pulling out his mobile phone and dialling 911. He hung up
the phone a few minutes later, just as the school nurse returned
with Rachel. She ran over to Camila on seeing her lying on the
floor, crouching down beside her quickly to check her over. “Did
 she hit her head?” the nurse asked as she pulled back her hand
from beneath Camila’s temple, her digits covered in a thick layer
of blood. “Yes,” Rachel said, kneeling down beside the nurse. “She
hit it on the desk as she fell.” “How long has she been seizing?”
the nurse asked and Mrs Edwards glanced at the clock on the wall
trying to calculate the time. “A few minutes,” she answered.
“Does that make a difference?” “Yes,” the nurse said, taking off
her jumper and folding it up to place it under Camila’s head. “Did
someone call an ambulance?” she asked. “I did,” the male student
informed her calmly. “How long did they say it would be until they
got here Jacob,” Mrs Edwards asked. “Five to ten minutes,” he
answered. “Will she be alright?” he asked concerned. The school
nurse shared a look with Mrs Edwards, evidently concerned about
something. “She’ll be fine,” the nurse answered apprehensively,
disturbed by the fact that Camila had not stopped seizing yet.
Finally the paramedics arrived and took over Camila’s care, rolling
her on to a backboard and applying an oxygen mask to her face as
though it were second nature to them. They asked the same
question which the nurse had done earlier regarding the length of
the still ongoing seizure and appeared troubled at the news that it
had been at least ten minutes. They administered a syringe full of
medication via a line which one of them had placed in Camila’s
arm and waited thirty seconds, one of the paramedics watching
his watch as he counted the seconds down. “We need to get her
to the hospital,” he said finally an uneasy expression on his face as
 he watched Camila still convulsing. “Will someone contact her
parents?” he asked. “I will,” Mrs Edwards said in response. “I need
someone to come with us,” he informed the two adults in the
room. “I’m coming,” the school nurse told him, picking up
Camila’s folder which she’d bought from her office. “Ok, then let’s
go,” he said, standing up and lifting the gurney so it was now on
its wheels. He pushed Camila towards the door, his colleague
opening it ready for him to pass through and they disappeared
down the corridor out of sight. A/N: I have a feeling this might not
make me too popular, lol x
Chapter 34
“Camz is late,” Lauren observed as she sat in the cafeteria with
Dinah, Ally and Normani at their usual table. “Do you think she’s
alright?” she asked the others glancing around the room in search
of her girlfriend. “She’s probably up to something entirely too
cute to conceive,” Ally commented in response, taking a sip of her
drink. “Remember the last time she was late to lunch and she
came back brandishing a pair of tickets to the winter formal for
the two of you?” “Yeah,” Normani agreed with Ally. “Christmas is
coming up and I wouldn’t put it past her to have organised some
elaborate surprise. You know how much she enjoys them.”
“Maybe,” Lauren replied doubtfully, a nagging feeling in her
stomach. “She’s just normally not this late to lunch…” “Mila is
rarely ever late to lunch,” Dinah granted. “I mean, there’s food
here…” “Guys,” Lauren interrupted Dinah thoughtfully, looking
 around the room and noticing a number of faces looking in their
direction, watching the group closely. “Is it just me or… are people
staring at us?” Dinah and the others scanned the room for a
moment to validate Lauren’s remark. “Uh, yeah,” Dinah
acknowledged, her eyes briefly making contact with a number of
students’ whose attention was piqued in their direction. As soon
as they realised Dinah was observing them, they averted their
gaze, seemingly embarrassed at being caught gawping. “What’s
that about?” “I don’t know,” Ally answered, puzzled at the
excessive interest they were getting. “This is weird…” she
commented, trailing off as she noticed Miss Lovato approaching
them from across the room. “Girls,” Miss Lovato said as she
reached them, her tone serious. She stopped behind Lauren and
Dinah, placing a comforting hand on both their shoulders,
standing between them. “Can you come with me for a moment?”
she asked. Lauren turned in her seat to look up at the teacher
who had a solemn expression on her face and she felt her
stomach drop in response, a sudden sense of dread and
inexplicable foreboding coming over her. “Please,” Miss Lovato
prompted and the girls’ collected their belongings together before
following her out of the cafeteria and down the hallway towards
her classroom, no one speaking for the entirety of the journey,
everyone pondering the meaning of their sudden summons.
“Have a seat,” Miss Lovato instructed them all, gesturing to the
vacant desks in her classroom as the girls’ entered. She closed the
door behind them as they all descended into a few chairs nearby,
each one watching her attentively, anticipating her next words.
Miss Lovato walked over to a desk opposite the girls and perched
herself on it so that she was facing them. “What’s going on?”
Lauren asked her anxiously when she didn’t say anything. “I don’t
really know how to tell you this,” Miss Lovato started, lowering
her gaze to the floor for a moment before meeting Lauren’s eyes.
“So I’m just going to say it.” She paused briefly to look at each of
the worried faces before her. “Camila had another
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 2/10 seizure during French class earlier,”
she informed them, her tone neutral. “She’s been taken back to
the hospital.” For a while, no one said anything, each of them
looking round at the others apparently lost for words. “Is…is she
alright?” Lauren finally managed to ask. “I mean, she’s ok isn’t
she?” Miss Lovato pulled up a chair and positioned it in front of
the pair of desks where Lauren had sat next to Dinah. “Lauren,”
she started, reaching a hand out and taking the youngsters in her
own supportively as she sat down. “I know this is scary but I really
need you to try not to worry…” “That’s not an answer,” Lauren
noted, sensing Miss Lovato’s attempt to avoid directly answering
the question. “No it’s not,” Miss Lovato replied simply in
agreement. She sighed to herself at having to be the bearer of bad
news. “The truth is that Camila’s not ok.” Lauren felt tears sting
her eyes and she looked over at Dinah who looked just as taken
 aback by the teachers’ brutal honesty as she did. “She will be
though?” Lauren asked hopefully as she felt Ally’s small hand
grasp on to her shoulder comfortingly. “I mean, it’s just a seizure
right? It’s not like she’s never had one before…” “I’m sorry,” Miss
Lovato apologised sincerely, squeezing Lauren’s hand and looking
just as devastated by the news of what had happened as the girls’
assembled in front of her. “Camila’s in a really serious condition.”
She notified them. “Her mom called about twenty minutes ago to
let us know that they had admitted her to the intensive care unit
and that she wouldn’t be back at school…” “What?” Lauren asked
her voice quiet and broken. “I don’t understand. You said she had
a seizure…” “She did,” Miss Lovato confirmed, looking over at
Dinah who remained especially quiet. The teacher placed a hand
on Dinah’s forearm compassionately as she continued.
“Unfortunately, it didn’t stop on its own and the doctors had to
sedate her…” “You said to try not to worry,” Ally reminded Miss
Lovato helpfully. “That must mean that she’s stable, at least for
now.” “Yes,” Miss Lovato confirmed, grateful for Ally’s insight.
“She is. Camila’s stable at the moment, but, the doctors are still
concerned. Apparently she hit her head when she fell…” Lauren’s
stomach rolled over at Miss Lovato’s words and she felt her head
spin unpleasantly as her mind conjured up all manner of terrible
thoughts and images in response to the knowledge. “I want to see
her,” Lauren said, a sense of finality in her voice as she cut the
teacher off. “Me too,” Dinah added, speaking at last. Miss Lovato
 looked at them all sympathetically, a sad smile on her lips. “Her
mom said that they aren’t letting many visitors in at the
moment,” she informed them regrettably. “Miss…” Lauren began
to protest but Miss Lovato raised her hand to silence her.
“However,” the teacher continued. “She said that she would talk
to them if you wanted to go down there,” She paused for a
minute before adding, “but only as long as you get permission
from your parents.” She finished. “That’s the deal.” Lauren
reached in to her pocket to pull out her phone and called her
mom immediately, desperate to get down to the hospital so that
she could see Camila with her own eyes and validate the fact that
she was, as Miss Lovato had told them, stable. Dinah’s mom,
Malika, had already contacted the school after Sinu had called her
and explained what had happened to Camila. Malika had given
the school permission to release Dinah from classes for the
afternoon into Sinu’s care and Miss Lovato had already prepared a
pass ready for her to use, which she added Lauren’s name to,
after having a brief conversation with her mom, Clara, on the
phone. As much as Ally and Normani also wanted to see Camila,
they both decided that it would be better if they finished out the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 3/10 rest of the day at school and came to
the hospital later, when more was known about her condition and
they wouldn’t be in the way. They made Dinah and Lauren
promise to text or call them with any news before the group
 disbanded, Ally and Normani hugging each of the other girls’
supportively before heading back to the cafeteria to finish lunch.
Miss Lovato gave Dinah and Lauren the pass that they’d require to
get out of school and placed a reassuring hand on each of their
shoulders for an instant before they too left. The pair of them
made the journey to the hospital in silence, each girl lost in their
own thoughts about Camila, their own fears for her safety. On
arrival at the foreboding structure of the hospital building, Dinah
led Lauren up to the intensive care unit, having memorised the
route from the numerous journeys that she’d made there over
the summer when she’d visited Camila. They found Sinu and
Alejandro, Camila’s parents, waiting restlessly outside what
Lauren assumed to be her girlfriend’s room once there and Sinu
stood as she noticed the girls approach, pulling first Dinah and
then Lauren into a warm embrace, her eyes red and puffy from
her obvious crying, her cheeks damp and tear stained in her
distress. Lauren’s stomach dropped at the sight of Camila’s mom
looking so broken and dejected, her own gut twisting wretchedly
at the thought of what might await her on the other side of the
door. As if the sight of Camila’s mom wasn’t enough to make the
feeling of dread churn within Lauren and her eyes water with the
sinking sense of despair that she felt; Lauren also had to contend
with the view of Camila’s dad, evidently struggling to contain his
own emotions whilst he tried to remain strong for her mom, his
eyes also moist with tears as he stood alone, off to the side. “How
is she?” Dinah asked; Sinu’s arm still wrapped supportively around
the youngster’s shoulders. “Is she alright?” “She’s intubated and
sedated at the moment,” Sinu told them both, rubbing Dinah’s
arm comfortingly, desperately needing to feel like a mom to
someone when she felt helpless to aid her own daughter. “Miss
Lovato said Camila had a seizure,” Lauren said still unsure how
that could have led to this. “Is that right? I mean, she didn’t need
to be intubated before.” “I know,” Sinu acknowledged sadly,
holding out her free arm for Lauren who stepped over to her
willingly and accepted the solace she was offering. “Unfortunately
the paramedics couldn’t stop the seizure, even with the
medication they’d given her at school so her seizure lasted twenty
minutes before it finally subsided.” Sinu informed them; tears
falling as she reiterated the words she’d heard from the doctors
earlier. “They said she was suffering from something called, status
epilepticus.” Sinu continued after a brief pause to regain her
composure. “They were concerned about her maintaining her
airway and keeping her brain oxygenated because she was
convulsing so much…so that’s why they needed to intubate her,
to try and prevent any brain damage whilst they tried to stop the
seizure activity.” “Brain damage?” Lauren asked hesitantly. “You
mean she might have some more problems…” “We won’t know
until she wakes up,” Sinu told her, a sad smile on her face. “She
might.” Lauren shared a look with Dinah, who was watching her,
tears in her eyes, struggling with the news that Camila might be
 right back at the beginning, if not, worse off than before. “Miss
Lovato said she’d hit her head,” Dinah commented, recalling the
teachers words. “She doesn’t need surgery or anything does she?”
she asked worriedly. “No,” Sinu replied, releasing a sigh of relief
for at least one small mercy. “The doctors did an MRI scan once
she was anaesthetized and everything came back clear. She has a
nasty laceration on her head and her eye is badly bruised and
swollen, but, there was no intracranial bleeding or cause for
concern otherwise.” Sinu squeezed both Dinah and Lauren in her
arms reassuringly. “That’s something to be grateful for at least.”
She said, trying to remain optimistic. “When will she wake up?”
Lauren asked, eager to talk to Camila, to hear her soft, raspy tone
and the light chuckle as she laughed. “I don’t know,” Sinu replied
casting a look at Alejandro who was watching the interaction
silently, his eyes still red and his breath forced from where he’d
been crying. “The doctors said they’ll be keeping her sedated, at
least for a little bit, just in case she
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 4/10 has another seizure. Once they’re
happy with how she’s doing they’re going to wean off the
anaesthetic and hopefully she’ll come around…” “Hopefully…”
Lauren said quietly. “Hopefully,” Sinu repeated, smiling sadly.
“There aren’t any guarantees.” “Can we see her?” Lauren asked
hesitantly. She was keen to see Camila but unconfident that they
would be allowed if she was that unwell. Sinu glanced at
 Alejandro who nodded his head before turning back to the two
girls’ enveloped in her arms. “Yeah, of course you can,” Sinu
answered, nodding her head gently in the affirmative. “Just, I
don’t want you to be shocked by what you see,” she said,
addressing Lauren specifically, knowing that Dinah had been up
on the ICU before and had seen Camila in a worse state before.
“You should know what to expect,” Sinu told her, squeezing her
encouragingly. She paused for a moment to look at Dinah. “Dinah,
I know you’ve been up here before…” Sinu started. “I don’t think
anything ever prepares you properly though,” Dinah interrupted
giving Lauren a meaningful look. “It’s still hard, even when you
already know what to expect.” Sinu nodded her head in
agreement at the youngster’s words. “She’s attached to a lot of
monitors,” Sinu told Lauren, “and it’s noisy in there because of
that. Try not to worry about the alarms and things too much
though.” “Ok,” Lauren agreed. “I’ll try.” “Camila is being given a
lot of medication so they have a lot of tubes going into the side of
her neck and her arms for that.” Sinu continued, wiping at her
own eyes, a solitary tear escaping unbidden. Alejandro walked
over to put his hands on his wife’s shoulders consolingly an air of
stoicism radiating off him. “Plus she’ll have the intubation tube,”
Dinah added. “I found that quite scary. It’s attached to this
machine…” “The ventilator,” Sinu provided helpfully. “It’s not
hurting her though,” Sinu informed Lauren. “None of it is. You just
need to remember that it’s all there to help her.” Lauren nodded
in understanding and Sinu released both her and Dinah, gesturing
them in to the room. “You’re not coming in?” Dinah asked as she
turned to leave and noticed Sinu holding back. “No,” she shook
her head. “I need a break for a minute,” she shared with them.
“Plus, I said I’d phone Camila’s grandma and speak to Sofi,” she
continued. “She doesn’t really know what’s going on…just that
Camila’s sick again.” “Will you let Sofi come in and see her?”
Dinah asked wretchedly, knowing how much the sisters cared for
one another. “Not yet,” Sinu replied. “Not until we have a better
idea what’s happening and she’s been extubated. I don’t think
Sofi should see Camila like this.” Dinah nodded in understanding
before turning to open the door to Camila’s room and
disappearing inside. Lauren took a step towards the door, pausing
on the threshold to close her eyes for a moment and to exhale
deeply, steeling herself for what waited for her on the other side.
Lauren entered the room after Dinah, the door closing shut
automatically behind her. She felt her breath catch in her throat
as her eyes fell on the small form of Camila, lying in the oversized
hospital bed, her body hidden beneath the sheets, her face
obscured from Lauren’s vision by the intubation tube. There was a
nurse, working in the space around Camila, completing necessary
tasks and routine care. She greeted both Lauren and Dinah as
they entered and the pair of them reciprocated the greeting
warmly as she continued with her jobs. Dinah, evidently more
confident in the surroundings having been here before, made her
 way around Camila’s bed to her right side whilst Lauren waited
just inside the door
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 5/10 tentatively, not sure what she was and
wasn’t able to do. Dinah sat down in a chair at the bedside and
took Camila’s right hand in her own, careful not to disturb the
Venflon which was protruding from the back of her hand. She
stroked the base of Camila’s thumb soothingly with her own and
turned her attention to watch Lauren, a sympathetic look on her
face. “You can come in,” Dinah prompted her in understanding
having been in Lauren’s shoes herself only a few short months
ago. Lauren entered further in to the room, coming to a stop
alongside the left hand side of Camila’s bed, her eyes looking
anywhere but at her girlfriends’ face, afraid of what she’d see if
her gaze did happen to fall there. Lauren looked up at the
monitors above Camila’s bed, watched the red line trace across
the screen which recorded her girlfriend’s heart rate, the yellow
line which kept a record of her oxygen saturations. Lauren looked
at the syringe drivers set up by Camila’s head, pumping infusions
of ‘Lorazepam’ and ‘Phenytoin’ into the lines protruding from
Camila’s arms. She glanced down at Camila’s small hands, which
seemed dwarfed more than normal against the white of the
sheets. “Lauren,” Dinah said sadly. “Look at her,” she encouraged
and Lauren held her breath as she obeyed, dropping her eyes
down to look at Camila who lay before her on the bed, a serene
 look on her face which seemed out of place considering the
circumstances. Lauren let a small sob escape her lips as she
studied her girlfriend’s face closely, noting the familiar scar above
her left eyebrow and the newly sutured laceration on her right
temple where her head had collided with the desk. Her right eye
was swollen profusely, the skin taut and a deep shade of purple,
the bruise standing out in contrast to the pale tone of her skin.
“You can touch her,” Dinah said holding up the hand which she
held in her own for emphasis. “Don’t worry, you won’t hurt her.”
“Are you sure?” Lauren asked doubtfully, feeling as though even
the slightest touch would be enough to break the fragile form of
her girlfriend. “I’m sure,” Dinah reassured her. Laure took a step
so that her thighs were resting against the edge of the bed and
stood for a minute, listening to the sound of Camila’s heart beat
on the monitor above her bed, the exaggerated resonance of the
artificial breath sounds from the ventilator. Slowly, Lauren leant
over Camila’s unconscious form and kissed her lightly on the
forehead, one hand brushing Camila’s hair just above her brow
line. Lauren’s lips lingered there for a moment, tears forming in
her eyes as she kissed her again gently through her sobs. Lauren
trailed a hand down the side of Camila’s face, cupping her cheek
for an instant, her thumb caressing Camila’s cheek, her girlfriend’s
skin feeling cold in comparison to its normal warmth. Lauren
lowered her hand further to run it down the side of Camila’s left
arm until it reached her hand, which she picked up cautiously as
she lowered herself in to the seat that was already waiting beside
her. She started to play with Camila’s fingers in her hand, old
habits dying hard as she sat there watching the trace of Camila’s
life dart across the monitor, uncertain what to do next other than
sit in silence and wait. “I used to talk to her,” Dinah shared sadly
as if reading Lauren’s thoughts. “I wasn’t sure if she could hear me
but, it’d make me feel better, to know that maybe she wouldn’t
feel so alone if she could hear a familiar voice.” She paused for a
moment to look upon Camila’s face which remained unmoving,
every muscle relaxed as a result of the sedation. “I asked her
afterwards if she could,” Dinah continued thoughtfully. “She told
me that couldn’t, that she didn’t really remember much, just a
few things towards the end when she was waking up, but, I
remembered and sometimes I think that matters more because
Itook comfort from it and I needed that more than anything.”
Lauren glanced between Camila and Dinah, a sad expression on
her face, realisation that the taller girl had lived through all this
before, had thought she’d put this place behind her, that they’d
finally moved on, only to be right back here again, holding her
best friend’s hand whilst she remained oblivious to everything
else around her, suffering, whilst she slept. “She looks better this
time around though,” Dinah mused, studying Camila closely.
“Like, a hundred times better than she did before.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 6/10 “She still looks pretty bad,” Lauren
commented, wiping at her eyes for a moment with her free hand
and Dinah looked over at her, a smile on her lips. “She does,”
Dinah agreed, “but I’ll take pretty bad over dying any day.” Lauren
returned her smile, understanding that Dinah was trying to
comfort her with her words and the knowledge that there was
truth in them helped ease her fears greatly. She sighed for a
moment, her eyes falling on Camila’s lips, the intubation tube
partially obscuring them from view. Lauren wanted to kiss them
more than anything, to be comforted by the feeling of Camila’s
soft lips against her own, but, she couldn’t so instead, she leant
forward, resting her elbows on the bed for support searching for
solace in another familiar gesture. Lauren held Camila’s left hand
in both her own, one of them playing with her girlfriends’ fingers,
the other caressing the scar down Camila’s forearm soothingly,
pleased to find the now wellknown texture of the sinewy scar
which she felt beneath her fingertips. “Camz” Lauren said after a
minute or too, “it’s me, Lauren…I’m here alright…I’m right here.”
She paused for a moment before continuing. “Dinah is too…” she
added, looking at the other girl who gave her an encouraging
smile. “We’re both here ok?” she said, knowing she wouldn’t get
an answer but strangely hoping for one anyway. “We don’t want
you to worry about us” she continued, tears stinging her eyes
once again and escaping down her cheek as she was filled with an
overwhelming sadness, like someone had stabbed her in the
chest. “Just…get better alright?” she asked again, pausing as
 though Camila would answer her. “It’s Christmas soon,” she
reminded her, “and, you can’t miss that. I know how excited you
were to celebrate it with Sofi. You couldn’t wait to see her face
when she opened your present. We spent ages looking for it
together, remember? You wanted it to be perfect, to make up for
all the things that you’ve not been able to do with her since the
accident…” Lauren paused for a moment to wipe at her eyes
again, the tears falling freely and unashamedly now. “So…you
have to get better. You can’t let her open her present alone. She’ll
want thank you for it personally, to hug you and kiss you when
she sees it…so, you need to be there, ok?” Lauren swallowed hard
as she remembered the last time she’d visited Camila at the
hospital. “I know you hate hospitals,” Lauren continued changing
topics at the memory of how scared Camila had been about
coming back here after her nosebleeds, “but, please don’t be
scared because they’re taking really good care of you.” She cried,
reaching one hand up to brush Camila’s hair again. “You don’t
need to be scared…we’re all here for you Camz, and we’ll be
waiting when you wake up, ok…just…please don’t be
scared…there’s nothing to be scared of I promise.” She finished
glancing over at Dinah. “You listen to your girlfriend,” Dinah said
with a smile on her lips at Lauren’s words. “She’s pretty smart
Mila,” Dinah admitted playfully. “I think you’ve got a keeper here
in Lauren.” She paused for a moment leaning closer to Camila as
though she was going to whisper something in her ear but spoke
 in her normal volume so that Lauren could hear. “Don’t tell her
that I told you this,” Dinah said meaningfully, “but I really like her.
She’s so good for you Mila. Don’t take that for granted. I know
how much you love her because you’ve told me so many times.”
She continued not meeting Lauren’s eyes, keeping her own fixed
on Camila’s face. “I know it would kill you to know that she’s so
worried about you, so, try not to stay away for too long alright?
Otherwise you never know, she might find someone else…and I’d
really hate to have to kick her ass after everything she’s done for
you.” Lauren laughed at Dinah’s words through her tears and met
the other girls’ gaze, nodding her head slightly, a small smile on
her face. “I really mean that you know,” Dinah told her seriously.
“About kicking my ass?” Lauren asked chuckling lightly. “I know,
you’ve told me before.” “No,” Dinah replied, “about really liking
you Lauren. I mean it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened
to Mila and I want to thank you for that.” “She’s the best thing
that’s ever happened to me,” Lauren returned, giving Dinah a
significant look. “She’s bought so much to my life that I’ll be
forever thankful for…” she said leaving the insinuation hanging
but deciding to say it outright as they were being honest. “I’m
really glad that we’re friends,” she told Dinah. “Me too,” Dinah
agreed sincerely reaching for Lauren’s hand across Camila’s
stomach.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 7/10 Lauren extended her own arm and
 took Dinah’s hand, the two of them squeezing each other’s
appendage supportively, their fingers entwining as they let them
rest on Camila’s abdomen. Dinah and Lauren had sat with Camila
for the next few hours, her parents coming back in to join them
after they’d called home to check in on Sofi and to update
Camila’s grandma on her condition. After school, Ally and
Normani had joined them, both just as devastated to see the
small lifeless form of Camila before them. They’d all sat together,
sometimes talking about inconsequential things and other times
discussing Camila, sharing some of the fond memories that they
had of her. At times they all sat in comfortable silence, alone in
their thoughts, not requiring the distraction of conversation to
occupy them. Four days later, on Saturday, the day before
Christmas Eve, Camila remained on the intensive care unit, still
intubated, still not awake, but no longer sedated which, according
to her doctors was positive despite the lack of other obvious
improvements in her condition. Lauren had been with Camila as
much as she was able, spending every free moment after school
and the majority of the morning so far with her. With every new
day that passed, Lauren was finding it harder to see Camila as she
remained and she was less tolerant to the lack of progress she
seemed to be making, concerned by the fact that Camila had still
not woken up, despite having been off sedation for the last forty
eight hours. The bruise over Camila’s right eye had started to turn
a light shade of green and yellow, the purple still remaining but
 diminished somewhat in comparison to a few days ago. Camila’s
eyelid was still swollen but less so now, the skin no longer
appearing taut and as far as Lauren could tell, that was the only
difference she could see in her girlfriends’ condition. Lauren
couldn’t shake the fear that, the longer Camila remained
unconscious, the longer she took to wake up, the more likely it
was that she’d suffered some form of brain damage and she
didn’t know if she could bear that. She’d seen Camila progress so
much over the few months that she didn’t think she could cope
with the thought of it all being for nought, that they’d be right
back at the start again. Lauren stroked Camila’s cheek with her
thumb as was becoming her custom, cautious of the nasogastric
tube which was protruding from her girlfriend’s left nostril and
taped to her face in order to provide her the nutrition she was
unable to get by other means at present. She glanced at Camila’s
lips again which were still obscured by the intubation tubing. She
tried to recall the feeling she got when they kissed, having been
denied that privilege since Camila’s admission and missing it
greatly. “Ally and Normani left for Texas yesterday,” Lauren told
Camila, sighing heavily, her hand as always, playing with Camila’s
fingers mindlessly. “They’re going to visit their grandparents for
the holidays, remember?” she asked. “They told me to tell you to
get better though and that they’ll see you soon. They left me
some presents to give you when you wake up as well. I don’t
know what they are but, Normani is really good at choosing gifts
for people so I know it’ll be great whatever it is.” She paused for a
minute to brush a stray strand of hair out of Camila’s eye and
leant forward to place a soft kiss to Camila’s temple. “Dinah said
she’ll be in later to see you,” Lauren continued as she sat back in
her chair slightly. “She has to babysit today so her mom and dad
can finish the Christmas shopping. She already sent me a picture
of the chaos at her house. Apparently Regina has decided to lead
a revolt. I’ll show you it when you wake up. You’ll love it. Dinah is
literally covered in food. I think they decided to start an
impromptu fight,” Lauren laughed remembering the picture.
“Your parents are coming in too,” she went on after a pause.
“They’re taking Sofi to see Santa Claus at the store today, she’s
been desperate to go all week but they’ve not had the time
because they’ve been here with you instead.” Lauren thought
about Camila’s sister and added thoughtfully. “Sofi is desperate to
see you Camz,” she told her sadly. “She doesn’t understand why
she can’t but your parents don’t think it’s a good idea for her to
come in just yet, not until you’re awake. They think she’ll find it
too upsetting…” Lauren looked up to watch the nurse, who was,
as always, was pottering round Camila’s room, administering
drugs and monitoring her girlfriend’s vitals to check for any
change. “I’ve got both your presents to give you as well,” Lauren
continued turning her attention back to Camila and continuing.
“Remember we said we’d exchange one of them on Christmas
Eve? Well, that’s tomorrow so…I’ll be waiting Camz. I’m already
 overdue giving you one of them aren’t I? You know how much I
hate being late with…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63304357714/trialsand-
tribulationschapter34 8/10 Lauren paused midsentence, noticing
Camila’s head rotate slightly from side to side, her eyes fluttering.
“Camz?” Lauren said, standing up so that she was hovering over
Camila to observe her better. “Hey, I think she’s waking up,”
Lauren said excitedly, beckoning the nurse to the bed side. She
walked over, placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder and squeezing
her trapezius muscle between her index finger and thumb firmly.
Camila’s eyelids fluttered open slightly and Lauren smiled at the
sight, surprised that something so small could bring her so much
happiness. “Camz,” Lauren said again, squeezing her girlfriend’s
hand firmly. “It’s Lauren, I’m here…I’m right here ok?” Camila’s
left eye opened, the right one still swollen shut and Lauren
glanced up at the monitor above the bed which was beeping
noisily as Camila’s heart rate increased, seemingly panicked.
Lauren watched as Camila fought the tube in her mouth,
swallowing hard as though she found it uncomfortable and Lauren
remembered Camila’s nightmares, how she’d felt like she’d been
suffocating with it there. “Can’t you take that out?” Lauren asked
her seriously. “She doesn’t like it…” “I’m sorry, not yet,” the nurse
said sympathetically, walking over to the side and measuring a
syringe of some medication which she injected in to Camila’s line.
“I need the doctors to review her first,” she explained, “but, this
should help her to relax a little bit.” The nurse stepped over to the
phone in the room, picking it up and dialling a number, leaving
Lauren alone with Camila for a moment. Camila, still slightly
distressed by the tube, reached her free hand up to try and pull
and it, but, Lauren caught it in her other hand, holding it tightly to
prevent her from completing the action. “Hey, it’s ok.” Lauren
soothed Camila gently, “I’m here alright. Its ok Camz, I’m right
here. You’re safe I promise. Do you hear me? You’re ok.” Camila
turned her head slightly to look in Lauren’s direction, her right eye
still firmly shut, her left wide as it searched for the source of the
voice. Lauren lowered her face so that she was in Camila’s line of
sight, releasing one of her girlfriends’ hands which settled back on
her abdomen, in order to stroke the side of her face. “Camz,”
Lauren said, brushing Camila’s cheek with her fingertips lightly
and then moving onto caress her brow. “It’s Lauren. It’s me. I’m
right here…” Lauren noticed the tear that slid down Camila’s
cheek and felt her own eyes burn with the threat of them in
response to seeing her girlfriend’s distress. Slowly she reached
and wiped the tear away with her thumb, her hand continuing to
linger on the side of Camila’s face, brushing her cheek reassuringly
with the back of her fingers. She felt Camila’s hand tighten around
her own and couldn’t suppress the unexpected chuckle which
escaped her mouth, her happiness at the gesture overwhelming
her. Camila stared at Lauren, her one open eye, never leaving her
face, taking comfort from her presence, from the familiarity of her
features, from the knowledge that she was there, that she’d been
there. Lauren watched as Camila tried to lift up her left arm and
released it carefully, allowing her the freedom to move it as she
wished. Despite being poorly coordinated, Camila managed to
wipe a tear which was sliding down Lauren’s cheek, unknown to
her, with the pad of her thumb. Lauren reached up to grab
Camila’s hand, entwining their fingers together and pulling it to
her lips, kissing the back of it, over and over again, afraid to ever
let it go.
Chapter 35
Not long after Camila had woken, a tall greyhaired doctor in a
welltailored suit, who Lauren recognised as her girlfriends’
neurologist, arrived to review her after having been called by the
nurse in charge of her care and informed of the recent change in
her condition. He requested that Lauren waited outside whilst he
performed his assessment, however, as she made a move to obey,
Lauren felt Camila’s hand tighten around her own firmly.; her grip
strong and determined; her one open eye wide with fear as she
silently pleaded with her girlfriend to stay. Lauren glanced up at
the doctor inquiringly and she noticed how his eyes fell on their
entwined hands, obviously understanding Camila’s distress and
granting permission for her to remain where she were for the
time being. After he’d completed his evaluation, the doctor
informed the nurse that Camila was stable enough to be
extubated and turned to his patient, explain the process to Camila
carefully, ensuring that she understood what would be happening
by including every small detail in his description. At this time, he
also shared with Camila that it could sometimes be quite
distressing for family to watch and that perhaps it would be best
for Lauren to wait outside whilst he did it. Camila had looked at
Lauren hesitantly, the internal dilemma clear in the deep
chocolate of her eye and the expression on her face. Finally,
Camila, having made up her mind, relaxed her hold on Lauren’s
hand and she’d nodded in understanding, leaning down to kiss
her girlfriend on the forehead briefly before disappearing outside
to a seated waiting area. Whilst there, Lauren pulled out her
phone to text Ally and Normani, informing them that Camila had
woken up and so far seemed to doing well. Next she called Dinah,
who fell in to a stunned silence for a full five minutes before she
eventually found the words to respond. She hurriedly told Lauren
that she would be down to the hospital as soon as her parents
were back from the mall and demanded that she gave Camila a
big hug and kiss from her until then, to which Lauren agreed.
Uncertain whether the hospital would call Camila’s parents, she’d
also dialled their number, Sinu picking up immediately after the
first ring. Lauren explained what had happened and Sinu thanked
her for the call, informing the youngster that they’d be contacted
a few minutes ago and would be in once they’d dropped Sofi off
with her grandma. After a further ten minutes, the doctor
emerged from the room with a warm smile on his face and he
 beckoned Lauren back in, explaining to her that as far as he could
tell, Camila seemed to be doing well. He told her that Camila
appeared to have no new neurological deficits as a result of the
prolonged seizure but did warn Lauren that Camila’s speech
seemed to have deteriorated markedly since her admission,
whether because of fatigue or the epilepsy activity he couldn’t be
sure. Lauren returned to Camila’s bedside eagerly, her neurologist
leaving to see another patient as she took up residence in the seat
which she had become extremely familiar with over the last few
days. She picked up Camila’s left hand once more, her fingers
brushing lightly across the scar on her girlfriends’ forearm
reflexively and leant her elbows on the bed, closing the distance
between the two of them. Camila was now sat up slightly, both
eyes closed, an oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose. Her
eyelids flickered open at Lauren’s touch, the right one remaining
relatively closed due to swelling, the left opening fully as Camila
rotated her head to look at the brunette sat beside her bed.
Lauren smiled at her girlfriend, kissing the back of her small hand
lightly and causing the corner of Camila’s mouth to lift slightly in
response.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 2/10 “Hey,” Lauren said. Her voice was soft
and she was uncertain whether Camila would be able to respond
after hearing what her neurologist had said regarding her speech.
She noticed that her girlfriend looked tired, despite having been
unconscious for the best part of almost five days. Camila’s eyelids
appeared heavy and the white of her eyes looked dull in
comparison to their normal brightness. “Hey,” Camila replied, her
voice hoarse and if possible, raspier than normal. Lauren couldn’t
decide if this was a result of disuse or a result of the intubation
but it had the effect of making Camila sound both sexy and ill at
the same time. Camila’s eyes fluttered closed for a brief instant
before opening again and meeting the bright green of Lauren’s
once more. “I’ve been so worried about you,” Lauren told her
simply, unsure how much Camila knew and the best way to
proceed with the conversation. “Ss…sss…ssso…ssoo,” Camila tried
to apologise, but Lauren reached a hand up to brush the dark
locks of hair just above her brow comfortingly, sensing her
girlfriends’ growing frustration at not being able to speak. “It’s
ok,” Lauren reassured her as Camila reached her right hand up to
pull the oxygen mask down away from her mouth so that it rested
over the front of her neck. “I know,” Lauren told her. “I know
you’re sorry.” “Sss…ssss…ss…” Camila tried again but to no avail.
“Camz, you don’t need to apologise,” Lauren told her, stroking
Camila’s temple with her the thumb of her right hand, her left still
holding on to Camila’s matching limb. “It’s not your fault. These
things happen. I’m just glad that you’re getting better now.”
“Hhh….hhhoo…hhhhoooo…” Camila began but once again, she
could not speak. “How long?” Lauren asked automatically. She
was now so used to guessing her girlfriends’ thoughts when her
 speech was difficult that it was almost like second nature to her.
Camila nodded her head in response, informing Lauren that her
assumption had been correct. “You had the seizure on Tuesday
and today is Saturday,” Lauren told her, the fingertips of her right
hand sliding down to caress Camila’s cheek. Camila didn’t respond
for a moment apparently calculating something in her head.
“Cch…ccch…cchhhr…” she attempted but her speech just
wouldn’t cooperate. “Christmas?” Lauren asked uncertainly and
Camila nodded her head again, lifting her right hand and pointing
her index finger at the floor to try and express what she meant
specifically. “Downstairs?” Lauren asked and Camila shook her
head. “Ttt…ttooo…” She began and Lauren frowned trying to
understand. Camila glanced around evidently in search of
something, her one good eye finally settling on Lauren’s watch.
She pointed to it emphatically with her right hand and Lauren
dropped her eyes to look at its face, noting the hands as they
rotated slowly and the date. “I don’t…” Lauren started to say but
suddenly Camila’s meaning dawned on her. “Oh,” she said. “You
mean is it today?” she asked and Camila nodded her head. “No
Camz,” Lauren answered sympathetically, chuckling a little at her
girlfriends’ confusion. “It’s not Christmas today. You’ve still got a
couple of days to wait yet.” Camila pointed at Lauren again, her
attention never leaving her girlfriend. “Me?” Lauren asked and
Camila nodded. “What about me?” she asked.
“Kkk…kkk…kkkii…kkii…” Camila tried and she lifted her right hand,
 hitting the heel of it to her head lightly. “Don’t do that Camz,”
Lauren chastised her tone kind as she reached up with her free
hand to grasp it quickly and prevent Camila causing herself any
harm. “It’s ok…” “Nnnooo,” Camila replied shaking her head in
disagreement. She pointed to Lauren once more and she sighed,
wishing she knew what Camila was trying to say to her. “I’m sorry
Camz,” Lauren apologised sadly, “I don’t know what you’re trying
to say.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 3/10 Camila lifted the hand which Lauren
had now released towards her girlfriends face and traced the
outline of her bright green eyes with her fingertips before moving
them down to brush lightly across Lauren’s lips. “Kiss?” Lauren
asked smiling, Camila’s fingertips still moving lightly across her lips
as she spoke. Camila nodded her head, the corner of her mouth
moving up in to a smile, pleased with Lauren’s understanding.
“You want me to kiss you?” Lauren asked, leaning closer to Camila
who was nodding her head in the affirmative. Camila tried to sit
forward in the bed but Lauren, unable to watch her girlfriend
struggle, closed the distance between them and planted a soft
delicate kiss on her girlfriend’s lips, familiarising herself with them
again after the enforced separation. She heard a beeping above
Camila’s bed and moved her head back to have a look at its cause,
Camila’s head also twisting slightly to see what was happening.
The nurse ceased writing on Camila’s chart and came over,
 glancing up at the monitor for a moment and then back down at
the small girl in the bed. “You need to put this back on?” she
informed Camila compassionately, picking up the facemask which
was still hanging loosely around her neck. “Your oxygen levels are
a little bit low and your heart rate is up.” Camila pointed at Lauren
as though she thought she was the reason for it and the nurse
laughed lightly in response as she placed the oxygen mask back
over her patient’s face. “You might be the cause for the elevated
heart rate,” the nurse said amusedly to Lauren, making her blush
profusely, “but I don’t think you’re responsible for the low oxygen
saturations.” She finished before returning to the task she’d just
abandoned. Lauren mouthed ‘Oh my god,’ at Camila causing her
girlfriend to smile brightly in response and she thought that she
would gladly relive that embarrassment over and over again if
that was the end result. Camila’s parents arrived soon after and
were shortly followed by the appearance of Dinah who looked a
little the worse for wear, her babysitting duties apparently getting
somewhat out of hand with the inevitable excitement of her
brothers and sisters in the countdown to Christmas day. Together,
they all stayed with Camila, keeping her company whilst she fell in
and out of sleep, her body evidently still tired after the events of
the last few days and needing rest. Camila’s neurologist had
returned at one point to talk with Camila’s parent’s, informing
them that she’d soon be moved down to the ward but would
likely have to be kept in for a few days yet in order to be
 monitored. Unfortunately he still had some concerns that Camila
might have another seizure until they’d adjusted her medication
accordingly and he didn’t think it would be a good idea to
discharge her until she was back on her feet properly and eating
solid food once again. In the time that Lauren remained at the
hospital, Camila’s speech didn’t improve beyond what it had been
after she’d initially woken up and the neurologist could not offer
them any insight on whether it was just a transient loss or
something more permanent. He hoped, as did they all, that it
would be temporary and believed that it would be back to how it
was in a few days. When Lauren’s curfew arrived, she stood up
slowly and kissed Camila lightly on the forehead, promising her
girlfriend that she’d be back tomorrow to give her the gifts that
she had been keeping hold of for her from Ally and Normani, as
well as the couple from herself. Camila had pointed at Lauren on
hearing this and turned to look at Dinah meaningfully. “It’s ok
Mila,” Dinah laughed in understanding, even more adept at
reading Camila’s silence then Lauren with the amount of
experience she’d had. “I know where you’ve hidden them all. I’ll
get them here for you. I promise.” Camila smiled at Dinah’s words
and lifted her thumb up in acknowledgement. Dinah reciprocated
the gesture before holding up a hand in front of Camila which
caused a look of confusion to spread across her face for an
instant. Dinah rolled her eyes and moved her hand back and forth
slightly, signalling that she wanted a high five before she left.
 Camila’s lifted her eyebrows as if to say, ‘oh’ before raising her
right hand up. “Get some sleep,” Dinah told Camila seriously,
tapping their hands together quickly, “Just not four days’ worth
though ok?” she added playfully and Lauren laughed at the
comment.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 4/10 “I second that,” Lauren chuckled. “Me
too,” Sinu added, rubbing Camila’s arm from her position beside
her daughters bed. The youngsters left the hospital together,
Lauren dropping Dinah off on her way back to her own house.
Lauren had a brief conversation with her parents regarding
Camila’s condition on arriving home and quickly crawled into bed,
exhausted after four days of no sleep and constant worrying.
Christmas Eve, Lauren woke refreshed, finally having had a full
night of undisturbed rest. She showered, dressed and shared
breakfast with her family, the mood jovial in the Jauregui
household in anticipation of the holiday festivities tomorrow and
their evening together tonight. Lauren kissed her mom on the
cheek after they’d eaten; picking up her plates from the table and
clearing it grateful for her family. She thanked her mom and dad
for all the support they’d given her with Camila, appreciating their
unrivalled understanding and patience. She thanked them for
allowing her to spend the majority of her days by Camila’s
bedside, never complaining when she missed family meals or time
that they’d normally spend together. Her mom had stood up and
pulled Lauren into a warm embrace, kissing her maternally on the
forehead as Lauren reciprocated the gesture, reaching her arms
around her mom’s waist and squeezing her tightly. “You’re more
than welcome sweetheart,” Clara had told Lauren genuinely. “I’m
just glad that Camila is finally awake and doing better,” she
continued, sighing as she strengthened her hold on her. “I can’t
imagine what her parents have been going through the last few
days,” she sympathized, moving back slightly to look at her
daughter, a smile on her face. “I wouldn’t wish what they’ve had
to deal with on anyone,” she shared. “I don’t know what I’d do if
it were one of you in Camila’s place. I don’t think I could be as
strong as they have.” She paused for a minute contemplating
something. “You know what?” Clara said, a sudden idea coming to
her. “Why don’t you invite them all round to dinner once Camila is
home. It would be nice to finally meet them and they could
probably do with a nice home cooked meal after spending so
much time at the hospital.” “Really?” Lauren asked surprised by
the offer. “Of course,” Clara replied smiling. “You know how much
I like Camila and it’ll be good to feel like we can be of some help
to them.” She finished casting a glance at Lauren’s dad who was
nodding his head in agreement with his wife’s words from where
he sat. “You’d do that?” Lauren asked her smiling at her mom’s
kindness as she looked between the two of her parents. “I’d do
anything for you,” Clara said, “You know that.” “Ilove you mom,”
Lauren said, hugging her closer. “I love you too,” Clara returned,
 embracing Lauren supportively. “Now, shouldn’t you get going?”
she asked stepping back slightly. “Ithought you had somewhere to
be.” Lauren smiled, kissing both her mom and dad goodbye
before leaving to make her way to the hospital. Sinu had called
Lauren earlier to let her know that Camila had now moved rooms
and how to find it, providing detailed directions so she didn’t get
lost when she arrived. On the way, Lauren stopped at Dinah’s
house and picked her up, the other girl brandishing a large sack
full of gifts and wearing a red Santa’s hat on her head. Together
they’d made their way back to the now familiar spectacle of the
hospital building, Dinah blaring out Christmas songs on the radio
and singing loudly the whole journey. “Ho ho ho! Merry
Christmas!” Dinah called dramatically as she entered Camila’s
room ahead of Lauren, brandishing her sack of gifts. Lauren
followed closely behind her and laughed, hitting Dinah playfully
on the back to push her further in to the room and out of the way.
Once she had finally been allowed access to the room properly,
Lauren noted Camila sitting up in the bed, her oxygen mask still in
place, but, both eyes open and bright as she watched Dinah’s
spectacle with amusement, an attentive Sofi sat cuddled in to her
side on the bed. “Hi girls,” Sinu greeted them as she stood up
from her chair to welcome the two newcomers warmly, pulling
both Lauren and Dinah in to a tight hug.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 5/10 “Hi,” the two of them reciprocated
before turning to Camila’s dad who sat in a chair beside the bed, a
large smile on his face at the sight of his two daughters finally
reunited. Lauren waved to Alejandro in greeting but Dinah
stepped over to embrace him tightly, their relationship close from
the many years that they’d known each other. “Hi grandma!”
Dinah greeted, turning to Camila’s grandma who was sat beside
Alejandro watching the exchanges happily. “Morning Dinah,”
Camila’s grandma said as she too stood up to embrace the
youngster in yet another hug. “Lauren this is grandma,” Dinah
introduced jokingly. “We’ve met,” Camila’s grandma laughed as
she took a step towards Lauren. “You can call me Mercedes if you
want?” She offered kindly. Lauren stepped over to Camila’s
grandma and held out her hand in formal greeting, not sure what
else to do. “Nice to see you again.” She said sincerely. “You too
Lauren,” Camila’s grandma replied, taking her hand and using it as
leverage to tug Lauren towards her into a hug as well. “Hi Sofi,”
Dinah greeted excitedly She turned her attention to the small girl
on the bed and held up the palm of her hand, eagerly anticipating
a high five from her. “Hi DMac,” Sofi returned animatedly, hitting
her hard on the hand and causing Dinah to feign injury. “See
Mila,” Dinah said laughing at Camila who was watching the
interaction with interest. “That’s what you do when someone
holds up their hand in front of you.” Camila shrugged
nonchalantly but didn’t say anything in response. “Still can’t talk
huh? That sucks” Dinah commented and Camila lifted an eyebrow
 as if to say ‘You’re telling me.” Dinah leant over the bed and
wrapped her arms tightly around Camila, squeezing her forcefully
in greeting. “Good thing I’ve got some stuff to cheer you up then,”
Dinah said, perching on the bed beside Sofi. Lauren made her way
round to the other side of the bed as Sinu sat back down and
waved at Sofi in greeting, causing the youngster to once again
hide her face against Camila’s side. She laughed at the fact that
despite all the time that she’d spent at Camila’s house when Sofi
was there, the girl was still shy around her. “Hi Camz,” Lauren
greeted, bending over Camila in the bed and kissing her lightly on
the forehead. Lauren made a move to sit down but Camila
reached for her arm, keeping her in place as she tugged the mask
off her face for a moment with her other hand and pushed their
lips together tenderly. “Ok,” Dinah said, covering Sofi’s eyes with
her hands for a moment and causing her to respond in protest.
“Hey!” she complained squirming out of Dinah’s hold to look at
her sister as Lauren moved her head back, a smile on her face, her
right hand reaching up to stroke Camila’s cheek lovingly. Lauren
finally sat down in the chair as Camila put her oxygen mask back
on and Sofi said, “Kiss her again,” enthusiastically. “Sofi are you a
Camren shipper?” Dinah asked surprised, seemingly eager to
recruit another person to fan girl with. “What’s a Camren?” Sofi
asked, scrunching up her face confused. “That’s a Camren,” Dinah
informed her pointing between Lauren and Camila. “Camren?”
Sofi asked looking between her sister and Lauren still puzzled.
“Camila and Lauren,” Dinah explained. “Their names together…it
makes Camren.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 6/10 “It does?” Sofi asked looking at Dinah
expectantly, as though any minute it would all make sense to her.
“You know what?” Dinah asked chuckling. “It doesn’t matter.
They’re cute right?” she asked Sofi. “Dinah,” Lauren protested,
very much aware that both Camila’s parents and her grandma
were in the room. “Shh Lauren,” Dinah hushed her waving her
hand dismissively. “I’m busy here…” she turned back to Sofi and
dropped her voice conspiratorially. “Sofi do you like Lauren?” she
asked and the youngster buried her face against Camila’s side
again timidly nodding her head. “She’s pretty,” Sofi admitted,
hiding her face behind her hand as she spoke and Dinah gave
Lauren a meaningful look as Camila messed her sister’s hair with
her hand, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Do you like
when she kisses Camila?” Dinah probed and Sofi nodded her head
again, blushing slightly. “She makes Camila smile,” Sofi answered
and Lauren got the distinct impression that this wasn’t the first
time Dinah had broached the subject with the girl, seemingly
already knowing her response. “You like it when Camila smiles
don’t you?” Dinah asked again and Sofi looked up at her sister for
a moment before nodding her head. “She doesn’t smile as much
now since she was hurt,” Sofi voiced and Lauren realised that she
was referring to Camila’s accident. “So do you think we should
 make them kiss again then?” Dinah asked as if they were talking
secretly. “Dinah,” Lauren protested, casting a worried look at
Camila’s parents. “Do you mind?” Dinah asked turning to the
adults sat slightly behind her and they shook their heads in
response. “See,” Dinah said to Lauren knowingly, the older girl
rolling her eyes as her friend turned her attention back to Sofi
once more. “Perhaps you should whisper it in Camila’s ear,” Dinah
suggested and Sofi rocked up onto her knees in order to complete
what had been asked of her. Camila messed Sofi’s hair once again
and turned to give Lauren a questioningly look, leaving the ball
well and truly in her court. Lauren sighed, defeated, knowing she
could never deny Camila anything. She leant forward, pulling
Camila’s mask from her face and kissing her again, her girlfriends’
hand reaching up to rest on Lauren’s neck. “Yay!” Sofi said
happily, clapping her hands together as Dinah whispered
something in her ear. “Camren!” she said afterwards and Lauren
rolled her eyes again, laughing at Dinah’s interference. “Ok,”
Dinah said as Lauren helped Camila put the oxygen mask back on.
“Who’s ready for the Christmas party to begin?” she asked and
Sofi jumped up, her shyness now apparently lost with the
prospect of presents and celebrations. “I am!” she shouted
excitedly and Camila winced as her sister landed on her arm,
crushing it beneath her knees. “Sofi,” Sinu scolded, standing up
and lifting her youngest daughter off the bed and on to her lap as
Camila rubbed her arm firmly. Camila breathed out forcefully for a
 moment before casting a look at her mom and Sofi, the latter
looking upset at having been extricated from Camila’s bed so
suddenly. “Mmm…mmooomm.” Camila managed to say, pointing
at Sofi no sign of anger on her face or in her voice. “Sssoo…k,” she
pushed out and Sofi looked up at her mom expectantly. “Be
careful mija,” she warned, sighing as she released Sofi, the smaller
girl scrambling back up onto the bed to cuddle with Camila again.
“Sofi,” Lauren said leaning her elbows on the bed so that she was
closer to the youngster who was now tucked protectively under
Camila’s arm. “Camila’s got a present for you…isn’t that right
Camz?” she asked and Camila smiled, looking at Dinah hopefully.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 7/10 “Now, let me see,” Dinah said,
rummaging through the sack she’d bought. “I think I saw
something in here for you.” She said thoughtfully, continuing with
the charade. “Ahh,” she said pulling out a large gift. “Yes, here it
is.” Dinah held the present out for Sofi to take but she looked at
Camila hesitantly awaiting her nod of approval. Camila gave it,
gesturing for Sofi to take the present and she did so
enthusiastically, pulling the paper off it keenly, her mouth
dropping open when she saw what it was. “This is for me?” she
asked Camila and the older Cabello sister nodded her head in
response. “Really?” Sofi asked still in disbelief and Camila nodded
again, running her finger across the name engraved in the top of
the small wooden box. Sofi’s little fingers traced the surface of the
box in her hand, studying it carefully as she undid the clasp at the
front and lifted up the ornate lid to the jewellery box carefully.
Her face lit up as she saw the small figure of a ballerina dancing to
the music inside and she turned towards Camila, wrapping her
small arms around her neck and kissing her lightly on the cheek in
gratitude. “I love it! Thank you!” Sofi said excitedly, closing the lid
gently and holding out the present so that her mom could see it.
“Look!” she exclaimed happily. “Hey Sofi,” Lauren said her voice
soft. “Have a look in the draw at the front,” she hinted. Sofi did as
Lauren suggested and almost jumped off the bed again she was so
happy with what she found there. “This is mine?” she asked
pulling the small bracelet out of the compartment and twiddling it
carefully in her fingers. Camila nodded and Sofi sprung up,
hugging her so tightly that she thought her little sister might break
her ribs. Sofi kissed Camila on the cheek again and again, holding
out the bracelet. “It has my name on it!” Sofi said, holding it up
for Dinah to see. “No way!” Dinah said, joining in with Sofi’s
excitement. “Yeah look!” Sofi said pointing to her name. “Wow!”
Dinah replied. “That’s so cool.” “Pppp….ppuuut…ppp…” Camila
tried. “Sofi why don’t you put it on?” Lauren suggested for her
girlfriend. “Can I?” she asked and Lauren nodded. Sofi held the
bracelet out for Camila who took it in her hands struggling with
the small clasp in her uncoordinated hands. “Here,” Lauren said
holding out a hand for Camila to offload the troublesome item
into. “I can do it for you.” She offered and Camila relented, her
 dexterity preventing her from doing it herself. “Come here Sofi,”
Lauren said unfastening the bracelet and holding it out ready. Sofi
placed her arm over it and Lauren fastened the bracelet securely,
spinning it around once for good measure when it was in place.
“Look Camila!” Sofi said holding the bracelet up in front of her
sister’s face. Camila smiled and traced the bracelet with her
fingers lightly for a minute before Sofi kissed her again, nuzzling
her face into Camila’s neck as she hugged her once more. “Thank
you!” she said again squeezing her sister closely and kissing her
above her right eyebrow softly before jumping down off the bed
to clamber into her moms’ lap, showing both her and her
grandma what she’d gotten. “Ok my turn,” Lauren said, reaching
down to pull two presents out of her own bag. She handed them
to Camila who took them with some difficulty and began to open
the first, a large present which was beautifully gift wrapped.
Camila smiled as she saw it, a large blue hard hat with a blue and
white polka dot bow stuck to the front of it. Either side of the hat
two drink holders were attached along with plastic tubing which
acted as a straw.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 8/10 “I thought that might come in handy
sometimes,” Lauren laughed as she helped Camila put it on,
tapping it to make sure that it was securely in place. “Firstly,
because I know you are always thirsty and secondly, to prevent
further instances like this,” she said gesturing to Camila’s eye and
 the laceration just above it which was still purple from where
she’d fallen and hit her head. “Why didn’t I think of that?” Dinah
asked her mouth agape. “That’s genius Lauren! How dare you be
more creative than me?!” she laughed. Camila gave Dinah an
amused look before reaching over and squeezing Lauren’s hand
thankfully. “It’s just a joke present though,” Lauren said, not
wanting Camila to think it were here only gift. “The next one is
your main gift.” Camila turned her attention back to the
remaining gift in front of her and opened it as best as she could.
She pulled out the large thick leather bound notebook and rested
it on her lap to study closer, her fingers tracing across the
personalised cover which Lauren had obviously had custom made
with her name. “For all those personal stories you’re so reluctant
to share with the world,” Lauren told her, referring back to the
conversation that they’d had the night of the winter formal when
their relationship had progressed both physically and emotionally.
Camila smiled and she glanced down at the book, her eyes in awe
of the object evidently pleased with her present. “Open it,”
Lauren prompted and Camila did as she was told, flicking the
cover open to look at the other side of it. Printed inside it read,
“Sing your song. Dance your dance. Tell your tale.” Angela’s
Ashes, Frank McCourt. “I mean it,” Lauren told her. “You don’t
have to publish it, or show it to anyone but, write it; tell your tale,
get it down on paper; all those thoughts that you lock away. You
said that you like to write Camz, so, now you have something
personal to write in.” Camila smiled a tear in her eye. “Turn to the
back,” Lauren prompted again and Camila obeyed expecting to
find another quote or dedication. She had a confused expression
on her face as she lifted out two tickets which had been tucked
away there. “Sing your song,” Lauren said smiling at the stunned
expression on Camila’s face as she read who they were for, “and
dance your dance.” She finished as Dinah leant over to look at the
tickets closer, Camila unable to speak the names aloud. “Holy
sh…” Dinah went to say, stopping herself as she noticed Sofi creep
over to the bed out of the corner of her eye, reminding her that
they were not alone in the room. “You bought her tickets to see
Taylor Swift in concert?” Dinah asked turning her attention to
Lauren who was watching Camila closely as she lifted her gaze to
meet her girlfriends’ eyes, the tickets still in her hand. “Also, Ed
Sheeran,” Lauren said simply, “he’s touring with her this year.”
She added and Dinah’s face spread in to a wide grin. “Mila I
wasn’t joking when I said Lauren was a keeper you know,” Dinah
told her and Camila gave her friend a confused look, not recalling
the conversation they’d had whilst she’d been on the intensive
care unit. “Happy Christmas Camz,” Lauren said and Camila wiped
at her eye with the back of her hand before lurching forward and
wrapping her arms around her girlfriends’ neck hugging her
gratefully. “I…lll…llloo….” She tried to say, struggling to profess
her feelings out loud, but, Lauren knew how she felt because she
could see it in her face and she could feel it in the warmth of her
 embrace. Camila didn’t need words to express her love and
Lauren didn’t need words to know that they were true. “Ilove you
too,” Lauren said hugging Camila back just as fiercely.
“Ttthh…tthiiis…..thhh…thhhee…bbeest…” Camila forced out and
Lauren knew what she was trying to say.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63415384166/trialsand-
tribulationschapter35 9/10 “Yeah, well,” Lauren said tears
springing in to her own eyes. “You already gave me the best
Christmas present Camz,” she told her. “Now that you’re awake I
don’t want anything else.” Camila pulled her face mask off quickly
and kissed Lauren, her lips not relinquishing her girlfriends’ until
she heard the sound of a little clap behind her and a small voice.
“Yay! Camren.” Sofi said throwing her hands up in the air and
both Camila and Lauren laughed, Dinah’s influence apparently
sticking. A/N: It’s late here so I haven’t proof read this. Just ignore
any mistakes please :) I hope you enjoy it. Let me know x
Chapter 36
“Ooo…k,” Camila said, sitting back on her heels in the bed again,
her left hand still wrapped up in Lauren’s and a wide smile on her
face which was partially obscured from sight due to the facemask
she wore. “I…ggg…ggg…gooo…” she tried, growling in frustration
at her inability to vocalise even the simplest thought. “It’s ok,”
Lauren said, sensing Camila’s irritation and rubbing her girlfriend’s
right arm with her free hand reassuringly. “Just take your time
Camz,” Lauren instructed. “Don’t try to force it.”
 “I…goooot….yy…yyy…yyoou…” Camila managed before stopping
once again and shaking her head from side to side evidently
annoyed. “Pprree…sseent.” She finished, turning her head to look
at Dinah expectantly. “I really don’t need anything,” Lauren
replied genuinely, her hand still rubbing Camila’s arm as her
girlfriend rested back against the head of the bed. “I just told you
that you’ve already given me the best Christmas present I could
ask for…” Camila lifted the palm of her hand up to stop Lauren in
her tracks, keeping one finger up as she bent the others, silently
informing her to wait for one minute. She twisted her torso in the
bed to face Dinah who was rummaging through the sack she still
had in her hands, evidently in search of something. “Ddd…”
Camila started when Dinah still hadn’t found Lauren’s gift and she
sat forward slightly, trying to have a look in the sack herself as Sofi
clambered back onto the bed and crawled beside her.
“Wwwhhee….” “They’re in here,” Dinah replied in understanding.
“I promise. I definitely picked them up…” Camila watched Dinah
as she continued to search through the sack and Sofi reached up
to try and take the hard hat from her sisters’ head, eager to try it
on for size. Camila smiled at Sofi’s attempts, her small arms not
quite long enough to reach her intended target and she lifted her
own hand to retrieve the blue helmet herself, placing it on top the
younger girls’ head and patting it lightly once it was in place. The
hat slipped down over Sofi’s eyes almost instantly, apparently
much too large for her child sized head and Camila laughed as her
 sister struggled to move it back up and out of her eyes, reaching
her hand out to aid the younger Cabello with her task helpfully.
“Oooh here they are,” Dinah said relieved, pulling out two
presents from the sack and handing them to Camila so that she
could share them with Lauren. Camila smiled as she turned to her
girlfriend, gifts in hand for Lauren to take.
“Foo…oor….yy….yyy…ooouu…” Camila said, making a face in
response to the way her voice sounded. “Thank you,” Lauren
replied gratefully, leaning forward to kiss Camila just above her
left eyebrow softly in gratitude. Lauren went to place the gifts on
the floor by her chair and Camila looked at her surprised, reaching
out a hand to stop her. “Nnnooo,” Camila protested shaking her
head for emphasis and releasing Lauren’s wrist from her grasp so
that she could mime opening presents with her hands.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 2/12 “You want me to open them now?”
Lauren asked, observing her girlfriend’s charade. Camila nodded
her head. “Yes,” she said, the word leaving her mouth smoothly, a
shocked expression on her face at the ease with which it had
happened, probably as a result of some kind of reflex or
automatic response. The corner of Lauren’s mouth turned up into
a smile on hearing her girlfriend’s speech sounding so much like
her normal self and she was amused by the puzzled look Camila
wore as a result of hearing the word spoken so fluidly. “Huh,”
Camila said, her eyebrow rising up thoughtfully.
“Sss…sstt….ssssstttt…” she tried, but once again, her speech failed
her. Camila rolled her eyes, throwing her hand up in front of her
exasperated. “Mija,” her mom said, leaning forward in her chair a
little. “Do you remember what the speech and language therapist
told you?” She asked. “Even when your speech is really bad you’ll
sometimes be able to automatically answer questions without
thinking about it. It has something to do with words that are so
ingrained in your memory that you don’t need to consciously
think of them in order to say them out loud.” “I…ff….hhheee…”
Camila attempted but even Dinah struggled to decipher her
meaning this time. “Here let me show you what your mom
means,” Dinah said with a mischievous smile on her face as she
leant forward and hit Camila forcefully on the upper arm. “Ow
fuck,” Camila complained, reaching her other hand up to rub at
her arm, pausing when she realised what she’d vocalised. “See?”
Dinah asked her and Camila’s mouth opened in surprise, her mom
shaking her head at the use of the profanity but saying nothing,
knowing that it hadn’t been voiced on purpose. “Oh,” she
mouthed in realisation, no sound escaping her lips. “I remember
when I came to that therapy session with you and they said that
you’d be able to answer or do certain things automatically,” Dinah
told her laughing. “It’s actually quite fun,” she shared. “Here
watch this…” Dinah said and Camila held her hand over her arm
protectively, sure that her friend was going to hit her again. “I’m
not going to hit you,” Dinah informed her laughing. “I was going
to ask you something.” “Oh,” Camila said, dropping her hand and
resting it back in her lap, amused at Dinah’s understanding of her
condition and the reflexive response to the information that she’d
just given her. “Do you like bows?” Dinah asked her and Camila
made an ‘are you serious?’ face as she automatically answered,
“Yes.” “Are you good at tennis?” Dinah asked her again knowing
that she was rubbish. “No!” Camila answered quickly, laughing at
the memory of the lessons she’d had when she was younger.
“This is fun,” Dinah mused, turning to look at Lauren who was
watching the interaction with interest, an entertained expression
on her face. “The wheels on the bus go…” “Round and round,”
Camila answered and Lauren laughed deeply at the automatic
response her girlfriend gave. Camila turned her attention to
Lauren and pointed at the presents in her lap meaningfully again,
gesturing for her to open them, already bored of the game with
Dinah, memories of the numerous speech sessions she’d had
coming back to her quickly now that she’d been reminded. “In a
minute,” Lauren said, thoroughly enjoying this new insight in to
Camila’s speech difficulties. “I just want to try one thing first…”
she told her, pausing to think for a moment before clicking her
fingers and turning to Dinah. “Does it work with any nursery
rhyme?” she asked her and the other girl nodded, causing Camila
to roll her eyes at the amount of pleasure they were both getting
out of this. “Ok,” Lauren said turning to face Camila once more.
“Old Macdonald had a farm…” she halfsang, leaving the line
 unfinished.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 3/12 “EIEIO,” Camila continued
automatically and Lauren smiled at the sound of her girlfriends’
raspy tone as she sang back to her. “Twinkle twinkle little star…”
Lauren sang lightly, chuckling to herself happily. “How I wonder
what you are?” Camila finished frowning. “Ll….lla…llaaauuu…” she
tried to protest, groaning loudly. “Alright I’m sorry,” Lauren
apologised sincerely, rubbing Camila’s arm remorsefully and
kissing her lightly on the temple. “I just never knew that you could
do that.” She paused for a moment to look down at the presents
in her lap. “Are you sure that you want me to open them now?”
she asked. “I mean it’s not technically Christmas until
tomorrow…” “Ppl…pp…pplll…” Camila said and Lauren understood
pleading when she heard it. “Ok,” Lauren answered, feeling a little
bit like a naughty child who was opening their present early as she
unwrapped her gift. “Camz,” she laughed as she pulled out the
panda beanie which she’d pointed out in the mall when they’d
gone together to search for a gift for Sofi. “You remembered that
Iliked this?” Lauren asked and Camila nodded her head, smiling
brightly. She lifted her hand up to her head and tapped it lightly
with her finger, informing Lauren that she’d stored the knowledge
away safely. “Ilove it,” Lauren said, smiling as she put the beanie
on her head, striking a pose. “Am I the only one that finds it weird
that you both got each other hats?” Dinah asked them, laughing.
 “Did you two like, plan it or something?” “No,” Lauren said
reaching down to start opening her second present, which she
assumed would be the main one out of the two, all the girls
buying each other smaller gifts that they’d planned to exchange
the last Wednesday night before the holidays, but, unfortunately
had been unable to. “We’re just in sync that way,” she said pulling
the wrapping paper off the box which she then placed on Camila’s
knees, balancing it there precariously. Lauren took off the lid to
reveal three smaller wrapped presents tucked away inside.
“Ss…ss….” Camila said pointing to the box and Lauren looked at
her uncertain of her meaning. “She’s telling you to open the small
one first,” Dinah told Lauren easily and Camila nodded in
agreement to her friends’ words. “How did you know that?”
Lauren asked and Dinah held up a piece of paper with a scrawled,
almost unintelligible script written on it. “Instructions,” Dinah said
opening her eyes playfully. “Cheat,” Lauren laughed and she
reached into the bigger box, pulling out the smallest one which
was inside and taking the lid off it swiftly. Her mouth dropped
open slightly as she took in the small piece of jewellery inside, a
delicate silver necklace with a key and a heart charm on the end
of it. “Camz it’s beautiful,” Lauren said sincerely. Camila
pretended to unfold an imaginary piece of paper in her hands and
pointed to the smaller box in Lauren’s grasp, causing her to look
down at it more closely. Inside, she found an A4 sheet of folded
paper and Lauren took it out to read the typed text hidden inside.
 “Lauren,” Lauren started to read aloud but, Camila put a hand on
her girlfriend’s arm to stop her, placing her finger up over her own
mouth significantly. Camila tapped herself gently on the head and
pointed to Lauren, gesturing for her to keep the words to herself.
“Lauren, most people know that a heart pendant universally
symbolises love and in this instance, that is true. The combination
of both a key and a heart is generally thought to mean that the
person receiving such a pendant holds the key to the heart of the
person who has given it. This too is true. However, the key also
symbolises something else and I wanted to tell you what that is
without the risk of sounding ineloquent should my speech fail
me.” Lauren looked up at Camila on reading this, wondering
whether her girlfriend remembered the irony of the words she’d
written in the reality of her current situation. Camila gave Lauren
a sad smile on noticing her inquisitive look, silently informing her
that she did.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 4/12 “Lauren, ever since I have met you I
have had this inexplicable suspicion that I could tell you anything
and it turns out that I was right. The other night, after the winter
formal when we were together and we sat up all night talking,
well, that was the first time that I have ever shared such a
personal piece of myself with anyone before. I was more honest
with you in that moment than I have ever been with someone
else prior to it and that includes with myself. I trust you with all
my thoughts, my irrational fears and disillusioned dreams. So, yes,
the key holds its usual meaning when combined with the heart.
However, it also has its own, more profound purpose in being
present on this necklace. That is, that you Lauren, hold the key to
both my heart and my mind. Letting someone share your heart is
infinitely easier than letting them share your inner most thoughts,
but somehow you make it less daunting to express myself and I
know that no matter what I tell you, or what I say, you will stand
by me, unconditionally, because you have already proven as
much. I know you call me a romantic and perhaps I unknowingly
am, but, I don’t care, because I want you to take the two things
that give me life and hold them close to you for as long as you
can. Protect them like I know you will and I’ll try my best to do the
same with yours. Merry Christmas Lauren, Love Camila x” “Camz,”
Lauren said, tears glistening in her eyes, one hand holding the
necklace, the other Camila’s moving letter.
“Dd…ddo…yy….oo…lll…lliiike…iiit?” Camila managed to ask and
Lauren smiled, a wide, face eating grin which lit up her eyes. “I
love it,” Lauren told her, placing the letter face down on the bed
and a hand on Camila’s cheek as she leant forward to kiss her
forehead softly. Camila smiled at the truth in Lauren’s words and
gestured for her to put it on, her girlfriend obeying eagerly, the
small heart and key soon sitting against her own chest, right
beside her own heart. “Oopp…pen,” Camila prompted pointing
back to the large box on the bed and the rest of the items in
 there. Lauren took out a small, wrapped rectangular object and
opened it, ripping off the paper enthusiastically. “Oh my God,”
she said turning over the personalised photo book in her hands,
“Camila,” she said and she turned to glance at her girlfriend for an
instant before glancing over at Dinah who had a broad grin on her
face. “We talked about this before she decided to become
inconveniently mute again,” Dinah told Lauren laughing as the
brunette flicked through the numerous pictures of Camila and her
family preaccident. “She said that you are always encouraging her
to put her photos back up on the wall in her room and that you’re
desperate to see some, having not known Camila before the
accident.” Dinah paused and Lauren lifted her head to notice
Camila glaring at her friend evidently displeased with the use of
the word ‘desperate.’ “Anyway,” Dinah went on, “she found some
of her favourite pictures of her favourite memories and put them
into this book for you so that you could find out a little bit about
who she was before all this,” she finished, waving her hand up
and down in front of Camila and causing her best friend to frown
again. “You’ll notice that I feature in a lot of them,” Dinah added
as an afterthought winking. “It’s really ok for me to have this?”
Lauren asked her and Camila nodded, pointing to a picture of
everyone assembled in the room on the page that the book was
opened at. “I don’t know what that means.” Lauren said and she
turned to Dinah expectantly, finding herself surprised when Sinu
spoke up instead. “It means that you’re a part of this family,” Sinu
 told her sincerely and Lauren felt herself smile. “Even if you and
Camila weren’t…together and were just friends,” she continued,
pausing to think about her wording. “You’d be a part of our family
Lauren.” Sinu smiled her words frank and honest. “You’re always
welcome at our house,” she informed her, “Always.” Camila
tapped the piece of paper which was face down on the bed and
then her own head again meaningfully, Lauren understanding this
gift even more when she related it to the letter before her. Camila
didn’t like looking at pictures of herself, especially if they were
from before the accident. She barely even had any on her
bedroom wall besides the single strip of photo booth pictures
which had been taken the afternoon of their ‘group date’ so,
Camila sharing this with her, as someone outside of her
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 5/12 immediately family, was important. It
wasn’t an insignificant gesture, it was purposeful and momentous.
It was because Camila trusted Lauren with everything, including
her past, her irrational and unfounded resentment of herself now,
her deep sense of loss for the person she was. No, this gift wasn’t
just a cute offering, it was important and it was substantial.
Lauren would cherish it all the more because of that. Lauren went
to lean forward to kiss Camila again but her girlfriend put a hand
on her chest and pushed had back lightly, preventing her from
doing so. She held up one finger and pointed back to the box,
causing Lauren to return her attention to it and take out the
 remaining item inside, a small thin, rectangular object. Lauren
unwrapped it and found a small notebook, creased around the
edges from constant use. “What’s this?” Lauren asked opening
the book and noticing the familiar scrawl of Camila’s writing
inside, filling the notebook from the first page to the last. Camila
lifted up the new personalised book that Lauren had gotten her
for Christmas and pointed to it. “Wait…” Lauren said, flicking
through the book again and studying the three gifts Camila had
given her, noting their common theme. “Is this your…diary?”
Lauren whispered and Camila turned her hand over and back in
quick succession before Lauren ‘kind of.’ Lauren opened it up to
the first page of the book, noting the date Camila had scrawled in
the corner, the start of the school year. She’d started to read the
entry in her head when she felt Camila’s hand on her arm,
drawing her attention from the page. Camila shook her head;
‘later’ she interpreted her meaning to be. Lauren closed the book,
placing all her presents back in the box and leaning over to kiss
Camila appreciatively for her gifts. She carefully took Camila’s
facemask off, lowering it down in front of her neck as she kissed
her lips, virtuously at first, but deeper after a moment, truly
thankful for the thought her girlfriend had evidently put in to
what she’d gotten her for Christmas. “Camren! Camren! Camren!”
Sofi sang from her position beside Camila on the bed and Lauren
lifted her head, turning to look at the small girl and amused
expression on her face as Dinah reached her hand out to clamp it
over the youngsters’ mouth. “Yeah ok I see what I created,” Dinah
acknowledged chuckling. “Sorry,” she apologised. “Who knew
she’d turn in to the captain of this ship so quickly?” Lauren placed
the mask over Camila’s face again and sat back down on the chair
by the bedside, taking her girlfriends left hand in her own and
stroking the back of it with her thumb. Over the next hour, they
stayed like this, Camila opening the remainder of her presents,
which included a couple from Dinah, and one from Normani, Ally
and Sofi; Camila’s parents and grandma planning to give her their
gifts tomorrow when they visited. Dinah had bought Camila a
sheet music book of Demi Lovato’s new songs so that she could
use it to help her practice the guitar along with a Christmas
sweater which she insisted the smaller girl put on now. Normani
had bought Camila a couple of dance lessons, which, Lauren was
surprised to find that her girlfriend was really receptive of and
eager to try. Ally had given Camila a new book, knowing how
much she enjoyed to read and was trying to practice, as well as a
friendship bracelet which she’d made herself. Sofi gave Camila a
stuffed pink unicorn teddy which she immediately removed her
oxygen mask in order to kiss on the nose. Camila hugged it close
to her chest, evidently cherishing it. After finishing the exchanging
of gifts and knowing that Normani and Ally had both been worried
about leaving for Texas to visit their family whilst Camila was still
so unwell, Dinah had pulled her laptop out of the sack and placed
it on the bed in front of Camila, so that it was resting on her legs.
 She logged onto the hospitals free WiFi and signed in to Skype,
dialling both her friends simultaneously as she started a group
conversation. “Camila?” Ally asked as the call connected and her
picture appeared on the screen in front of the smaller girl. “Oh my
God,” she said, her voice pleased to finally be able to see her
friend now that she was awake. “I’m so glad that you’re doing
better,” Ally told her sincerely. “I’ve been so worried. I was
praying every night that you’d wake up soon. I was so happy when
Lauren text me and told me that you had.” Camila smiled at Ally’s
kind words as Dinah shifted position on the bed so that she could
see the screen better, Lauren sticking her own face closer as well
from her position by the bed, just as Normani appeared having
finally connected.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 6/12 “Camila!” Normani greeted excitedly.
“You’re awake! I’m so glad you didn’t miss Christmas! That would
have sucked!” she exclaimed. “Hi guys,” Normani greeted noticing
the rest of the girls’ presence. “Hi Mani,” Lauren greeted along
with the others. “How’s Texas?” she asked her friend. “It’s ok,”
Normani told her seriously. “I’d forgotten how much I missed my
grandparents and my cousins but I’ll be glad to get home and see
you all again, especially you Camila.” Normani told her seriously.
Camila smiled at Normani’s but didn’t say anything, still until able
to speak. “How are you feeling Camila?” Ally asked her
interestedly and Camila made a face, demonstrating a soso
 gesture with her hand. “She can’t speak,” Dinah explained to
them. “The seizure kind of shortcircuited her or something,” she
laughed. “We’re trying to update her programming to ios7 but it
sucks so it’s taking longer than we thought.” “Oh I’m sorry
Camila,” Ally said sympathetically, ignoring Dinah’s attempt at a
joke. Camila shrugged as Dinah said, “Hey! Guys, that was funny!”
“So when can you go home?” Normani questioned and Camila
shrugged again in response, rotating her hand as if to
demonstrate ‘in a few days’. “I thought perhaps when we’re all
back together we could reorganise our Christmas movie
marathon, seeing as we missed it. That way we can still celebrate
the holidays together, just afterwards, instead of before.” “Yeah,”
Ally agreed enthusiastically. “I definitely think we should do that.”
“Seriously,” Dinah groaned, “is no one going to laugh at my joke?
You’re all just going to ignore it?” “I like that idea too,” Lauren
agreed with the others continuing to ignore Dinah but looking in
her direction and smiling at her annoyance. “I promise we don’t
have to watch Black Christmas,” she noted laughing. “I don’t know
what I was thinking when I suggested it before.” “Well that’s
something at least,” Ally commented laughing. “Why would we
want to watch Black Christmas?” Normani asked having missed
the conversation because she was in a different home room to
the rest of the girls. “Isn’t that a horror movie?” “A Christmas
themed horror movie,” Lauren pointed out. “Anyway, we aren’t
watching it now so it doesn’t matter,” she laughed. “So Camila,”
 Ally said, addressing her friend. “Will you be able to enjoy
Christmas dinner tomorrow? She asked pointing at the screen at
the nasogastric tube which was still attached to Camila’s face.
Camila lifted her hand up as though she’d forgotten that it was
there, her fingers tracing its outline smoothly from her nostril,
across her cheek to where it tucked behind her ear. She turned to
her mom and raised her eyebrow questioningly, uncertain
whether she’d be able to eat or not. If the ‘Nil by mouth’ sign
above her bed was anything to go by she assumed she’d be on a
liquid diet for the holidays. “They’re hoping to take it out later,”
Sinu told Camila reassuringly. “They just need to check that your
swallow has been impaired since the seizure otherwise you could
choke when you’re eating and I’d really rather that you didn’t end
up back on intensive care.” “Yyy…yooo….” Camila tried to say to
Normani and Ally, turning her attention back to the computer
screen. “You get that?” Lauren asked, understanding Camila’s
attempted question. “Got it,” Ally replied and Normani nodded
her head on screen. “Don’t eat too much Camila,” Normani
laughed knowingly, having seen her friend’s appetite on
numerous occasions. “You need to save yourself for our Christmas
get together, I’ll bring you some of my grandma’s cookies back;
they’re amazing!” Camila made an ‘ok’ sign with her hand and
gave Normani a thumbs up, silently promising to save a little room
for them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter36 7/12 “Camila I’m really sorry,” Ally
apologised, looking over her shoulder as though someone was
talking to her from that direction, “but I’ve got to go. I’ll see you
soon alright?” she asked and Camila nodded her head in
acknowledgement. “I hope you’re feeling better soon and have a
great Christmas,” she said waving goodbye. “Bye guys,” she said
to Lauren and Dinah, who along with Camila waved their farewell
back to the smaller girl. “I should go too,” Normani commented,
evidently not enthusiastic about it. “Happy Christmas guys,” she
said, waving. “You too,” Lauren said. “Bb…bbbyyyee.” Camila said
and Normani smiled before also leaving the conversation. Over
the rest of the day, Lauren sat with Camila and her family, talking
and playing a few of the board games that they’d bought in to
keep her entertained. Eventually someone can to assess Camila’s
swallow so that she could eat, removing the nasogastric tube
when she’d passed with no problems. To celebrate, her mom had
ordered Camila and the rest of the group pizza, which they’d all
devoured happily on its arrival to her hospital room. Sofi, having
missed her sister over the last few days, barely left Camila’s side,
her little body curling up against her on the bed until she’d gotten
so tired she’d fallen asleep exhausted. It was at this point, around
seven o’clock in the evening that they’d made a move to go home,
Alejandro picking his youngest daughter up in his arms to carry
her down to the car so he could put her to bed. “I’ll be back later
tonight,” Sinu told Camila, kissing her on the forehead after the
 others had said their farewells and left the room, Alejandro keen
to get Sofi into the car. “I’m going to stay here with you so that
you won’t be alone tomorrow morning,” she said, brushing her
daughters’ hair soothingly. Camila shook her head in response to
her mom’s words and Sinu made a face until she pointed out the
door her sister had just disappeared through. “It’s ok,” Sinu
responded in understanding, realising that Camila wanted her to
spend tomorrow morning with Sofi and her dad, opening presents
and doing the things that they usually did together on Christmas
day. “She won’t mind.” Camila shook her head again adamantly.
“SS..sss…ssoo…fi,” she said pointing out the door again.
“IIII…I’m….fff….ffiii…ne,” she finished. “Are you sure?” Sinu asked,
smiling at her eldest daughters’ selflessness and Camila nodded
her head, miming sleep for a moment before tapping herself on
the chest to inform her she’d likely just be sleeping anyway. Sinu
kissed Camila on the forehead again, lingering there for a while
before finally lifting her head to look at her. “I love you mija,” she
said, brushing the top of Camila’s head supportively. “Try to get
some rest so that we can celebrate Christmas together
tomorrow,” she suggested. “Happy Christmas,” she said, kissing
her daughter on the forehead again, torn between the need to
leave and the desire to stay. Camila waved goodbye and Sinu
turned to Dinah and Lauren, wishing them both the best for
tomorrow, which they reciprocated, before she made a move for
the door, casting one last quick glance back at Camila before
disappearing through it completely. “You know what?” Dinah said,
observing her two friends sat before her. “I’m kind of thirsty so
I’m going to go and see if I can find something to drink.” “Dinah
there’s a soda over there,” Lauren told her, pointing to the small
wheeled table just behind her. “Yeah, but I don’t fancy a soda,”
Dinah said standing up, wishing to give them some time alone.
“Ithink Ifancy a juice.” She smoothed out the front of her trousers
with her hands for a minute before continuing. “I’m going to see if
I can fancy the cafeteria,” Dinah informed them. “Can I get you
guys anything?” she asked and both Camila and Lauren shook
their heads in response. “Ok, in that case I’ll see you in a minute.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 8/12 “Dinah don’t be too long,” Lauren told
her knowingly. “I have to be home in an hour at the latest.” “An
hour…” Dinah repeated musingly. “Right.” With that, Dinah
turned and departed the room as well, offering Camila and Lauren
a small wave in goodbye as she did so. Lauren stood up from
where she’d been sitting and scooted Camila over slightly so that
she could sit on the bed beside her. She immediately rested her
back against the head of the bed, wrapped her arm around
Camila’s shoulder protectively and pulled her girlfriend into her
side, determined to make the most out of the first private
moment that they’d had together all day. Camila buried her
shoulder against Lauren’s chest reflexively, her right arm draping
over the taller girls stomach and playing with her girlfriend’s shirt
 in her fingertips mindlessly. “Thank you for my presents,” Lauren
said gratefully, truly believing them to be some of the best she’d
ever received. “I love them,” she told her truthfully, fiddling with
the new necklace she wore around her neck with her free hand.
Camila lifted her head up to meet Lauren’s piercing green eyes
and smiled. “Mm…mme….tt…tttoo.” She returned before adding,
“Ees…ssppec…Ttt…ttaaay…” “Taylor Swift,” Lauren finished for
her and Camila nodded her head in response, burying her face
back in to her girlfriends chest again. “I know that you are a
massive fan of both her and Ed Sheeran,” Lauren informed
Camila, lifting the arm that was resting across her shoulders
slightly to brush the hair at her girlfriend’s brow soothingly. She
paused for a minute to look down at Camila, who appeared
completely exhausted from the day’s activities. “I did have ulterior
motives for getting them though,” Lauren continued thoughtfully
and Camila turned her head to look at her once again with
interest. “I thought it’d probably be the only time we’ll get to hear
them perform our song live,” she told Camila and the smaller girl
smiled at her words before nodding her head in agreement.
“Eevv….eevvv…” Camila attempted but she gave up almost
immediately too tired to even try. “Everything has changed,”
Lauren confirmed and it was surprising how relevant to her life
those words really were. Lauren leant down to kiss Camila lightly
on the top of the head, her hand still brushing her hair soothingly
as she did so, her girlfriends eyes fluttering closed with sleep.
 “Camz you’re tired,” Lauren noted and Camila shook her head,
opening her eyes again quickly. “Sleep,” Lauren prompted and
Camila shook her head again, wanting to spend this precious time
that she had alone with her girlfriend awake. “I’ll stay with you
until you do,” Lauren told her seriously. “I’ll be right here and
then when you’re asleep I’ll go home.” Camila wrapped her arm
around Lauren’s waist tighter in a hug. “Camz I’ll Skype you
tomorrow,” Lauren said reassuringly. “You don’t think that I
wouldn’t speak to you on Christmas day do you?” she asked
smiling brightly. Camila lifted her gaze to look at Lauren for a
moment, her eyelids heavy with the threat of sleep and struggling
to remain open. Lauren pulled the covers up over Camila further,
shifting position in the bed slightly so that they were almost lying
down. She pulled Camila against her side closer, planting soft
kisses to her temple as she continued to play with strands of her
hair relaxingly. “Please sleep,” she said, kissing Camila’s brow
again, her soft lips lingering there as her girlfriend closed her eyes.
“I’m right here,” Lauren said restfully. “I’ll stay with you, I
promise.” Lauren told her. Camila sighed into Lauren’s chest, her
whole body relaxing, finally succumbing to the slumber that had
been beckoning her all day. “Iii….lllo….llloove….yy…yyoou,” Camila
mumbled in to Lauren’s chest and she leant down to kiss her
girlfriend once again over her right eye, a smile on her lips, her
fingertips still stroking her brow. “I love you too Camz,” Lauren
reciprocated and Camila turned her face up to look at Lauren, her
 eyes closing with fatigue as they did so. Camila reached up and
pulled her oxygen mask off her face and down over her neck, still
fighting the inevitable slumber. As always, Lauren thought.
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tribulationschapter36 9/12
“Mm…mmeerrr….y….Cchhhriii…sss…tt….mmas,” Camila said, her
right hand reaching up to brush the bottom of Lauren’s chin
lightly. “Merry Christmas,” Lauren replied sadly, leaning down and
planting a soft kiss on Camila’s lips, deepening it after a moment
as the smaller girl rolled further on to her front and in to a more
advantageous position. She felt Camila sigh against her lips and
her body relax, her eyes still closed as she finally stopped fighting,
finally relinquished herself to the lure of sleep and everything that
afforded her. Lauren reached down and placed the oxygen mask
back over her face; pulling the unicorn that Sofi had bought
Camila close to her girlfriends’ side. Lauren stayed like this with
Camila until Dinah returned almost forty minutes later. At this
time Lauren had carefully extricated herself from the bed,
cautious not to wake the sleeping girl beside her. She pulled the
covers up over Camila once she was standing again and bent over
the small form of her girlfriend to kiss her goodbye, planting a soft
kiss on her right cheek. “Wow, she’s really wiped out,” Dinah
commented, scrawling Camila a quick note and leaving it on the
side by her hospital bed so she could read it in the morning. “It’s
been a long day,” Lauren acknowledged, nodding to the note
Dinah had left with a questioning look on her face. “I didn’t get to
say goodbye properly,” Dinah shared, “It feels wrong just leaving.”
“You’ll be in tomorrow though won’t you?” Lauren asked and
Dinah nodded. “Not until the evening though. “I said I’d bring
Regina in to see her. My kid sister is suffering from crazy Mila
withdrawals.” “So am I,” Lauren mused, staring down at her
girlfriend again thoughtfully. “You haven’t even left yet,” Dinah
laughed putting a hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “No, not yet,”
Lauren agreed also laughing as they made their way together
towards the door and out into the hallway outside. “I don’t know
who’s cuter out of Mila and you,” Dinah said as they walked down
to Lauren’s car. “Ithink it might be tied.” “She’s cuter,” Lauren
replied smiling at the taller girl by her side as she unlocked her
car. “Yeah, but you saying that makes you cute too,” Dinah
laughed descending in to the passenger seat, “Do you see my
dilemma?” “Not really,” Lauren chuckled in response and she too
got in to the car, starting the engine and making her way back to
Dinah’s house en route to her own. She dropped Dinah off at the
curb, waving goodbye and wishing her a happy Christmas, making
the taller girl promise to hug Camila for her tomorrow, to which
she agreed gladly. Finally, Lauren returned to her own house,
spending the rest of the evening celebrating the holidays with her
family until she could fight the call of her bed no longer. She
wished her parents a goodnight, her brother and younger sister
retiring to bed almost an hour earlier, and changed in to her
favourite pair of pyjamas, turning off the light and climbing under
the covers, pulling out the small notebook that Camila had given
her earlier after switching on the light beside the bed. Lauren
turned to the first page of the book, the entry regarding the first
day of school this year and began to read Camila’s writing slowly,
the challenge reduced by the fact that her girlfriend had decided
to print the words rather than stick to her usual cursive. “So, my
therapist recommended that I write down a few things from time
to time now that I’m going back to school…I don’t know, it feels
kind of stupid, to put down on paper the things which I think in
my head. I don’t really understand her reasoning, but, I promised
my mom that I’d try, mostly because it hurts me so much to listen
to her cry herself to sleep at night. She thinks that I don’t know
how hard she finds everything now, how my presence here now
makes her life so much more of a challenge because she hides it
from me, not wanting me to feel bad, but, what she doesn’t know
is that I do anyway, because despite my speech and my memory,
I’m not stupid and I know that I am difficult. She waits until I’m
asleep and then she cries, disappearing into her room where she
feels safe to experience the pain that she pushes to the back of
her mind during the day in order to put on a brave face for me
and for Sofi. I love my mom I do, but, she should be happy, she
deserves so much happiness and it kills me when I hear those
stifled sobs through the echoing silence of the night,
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter36 10/12 like she is ashamed of her emotions,
like they are something sinful that should be quashed. What she
doesn’t know is that she cannot hide from me, that I don’t sleep,
because, when I sleep, the nightmares start and I’d do anything to
avoid even one second of the terror Ifeel when am lost in one. I
thought about ending it all again yesterday and I hate myself for
it. It’s selfish. I know that but, I can’t help but think it would be
better for everyone if I weren’t here. Yes, it would be hard at first.
There would be grief but, eventually everyone would see that it
was for the best. That without me they can move on with their
own lives, instead of compromising living to accommodate for my
shortcomings and my problems. If there’s one thing that I hate
more than the fact that I am damaged, it’s that I’m damaging
everyone else by being here. I feel like a parasite, leeching on to
those around me and sucking the life out of them until they are
just a hollow shell where the person they were used to be. This is
how I feel. It’s harsh but at least it’s honest and that’s what my
therapist said I should be. Yesterday morning I felt suicidal. There,
I said it. I woke up for the first day of school and I wished I’d never
woken up at all everything felt so bleak. I don’t feel like that now
and there is just one reason why… School was hard yesterday,
much harder than I thought it would be. It was noisier than I
remember too and that gave me a pounding headache for the
majority of the day. I felt tired, but, I refused to admit it because I
didn’t want to seem weak because I’d been looking forward to
 going back for so long, to regain any sense of normality that I
could after months eating hospital food and looking at the same
four walls. People stared, as I suspected that they would. They’d
whisper as I’d pass in the hallway but they wouldn’t speak to me,
afraid of what exactly I don’t know… appearing rude or
inconsiderate, fearful of my reaction, who knows…but no one
asked, no one, despite their obvious curiosity. That all changed
very quickly though and it’s the reason I’m writing in here this
morning before I go back to school again, to persevere despite
how hard it was yesterday. I met someone yesterday, Lauren. She
stared too at first, but, it felt different, not judgemental like
everyone else. She helped me to find a book that I had dropped
and it was such an insignificant gesture that most other people
would have thought nothing of it. It didn’t feel insignificant to me
though, it was nice, to be treated just like everybody else, to be
looked at like a person instead of a collection of scars. We had
English class together and she came to sit with me because she
wanted to, not because the teacher made her and it felt genuine,
like she was really interested in getting to know me. She didn’t ask
me about the accident, not directly, but she didn’t shy away from
speaking about my problems. That’s what most people do, ignore
them completely or obnoxiously ask me everything they possibly
can, there is no balance, but, Lauren found that with ease. She
made me laugh and it was so strange to hear the sound coming
from my lips it had been so long since I’d done it. She actually
 joked with me. Can you believe that? A complete stranger…she
even lied for me today when I got her in trouble, she protected
me when she had no rhyme or reason to do so, none. She was
one of the first people to treat me like a human being since the
accident, besides Dinah of course, and so I wanted to write about
it, to remember, because, for the first time in a long time I have
hope that things can get better, that maybe one day it won’t be so
hard and I can finally be happy again. Today I don’t feel suicidal; I
don’t want it all to end and that’s significant, at least for me,
because not a day has passed since the accident where I have
ever felt like that before. I also met Lauren’s friends, Ally and
Normani. They’re just like her, warm, inviting, bubbly. I remember
feeling like that once and it’s appealing, contagious almost. It’s
like feeling the first warmth of the sun on your face after a long
cold winter where no heat was known to you. I think I made three
new friends today and that doesn’t happen to me, ever. I’m not
social. I’m not popular, but they make me feel like I am, so I’m
writing this down, because my therapist said I should be honest
and I know that when I feel suicidal again, I can refer back to this
page, remember the hope that I felt and use it to get me through
another day and another, until it is a never ending summer
again.” Lauren put the book down, closing it slowly. She allowed
the full impact of the words to sink in, their meaning pressing
down on her, making her chest constrict tightly as she tried not to
cry at the quiet contemplations of her girlfriend. Lauren knew that
Camila had felt suicidal, that she’d been depressed, but, she’d not
known her role in helping with her recovery, not really. She’d
definitely not heard it expressed in such an eloquent
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63597043537/trialsand-
tribulationschapter36 11/12 or intimate way and Lauren didn’t
know how to respond to that. Lauren turned off the light on her
night stand, rolling over on to her side in the bed and reaching for
the necklace she now wore around her neck, playing with in
carefully in her fingertips. Lauren already knew that she loved
Camila, but, she’d never realised that it was possible for that love
to grow any stronger than it had already been, that is, until now.
Lauren had fallen for Camila almost instantly and she’d always
thought that it had been those chocolate eyes, the long dark hair,
the enigmatic scars, but, she realised now that it was none of
those superficial things, that they’d just been decoration for what
had been beneath them all along, hiding just out of sight. It had
been Camila’s eyes that had drawn Lauren to her, she knew that
now, the deep dark chocolate orbs had spoken to her, drawn
Lauren in to their depths, but it had been Camila’s quick mind
Lauren had seen in them, an intelligence that was masked in a
body that didn’t allow it to be expressed. Reading Camila’s
articulate words, written in messy script, a paradox in itself,
Lauren had finally gained the insight she didn’t know she’d been
missing. Camila was smart, she was intelligent, she was quick
witted and knowledgeable…Lauren knew all that, she’d always
known it, but, the surprise was that so did Camila, it was evident
in her words, in her narrative. She was trapped inside her own
head, a prisoner in her own body, a beautiful girl, with a beautiful
mind that only few would ever get to know. Lauren felt her chest
swell with happiness at the thought that Camila trusted her
enough and believed her worthy enough to see it.
Chapter 37
“No one mention her speech ok?” Lauren said anxiously to her
assembled family who were watching the brunette pace
backwards and forwards across the living room floor whilst they
awaited the arrival of Camila, her parents and Sofi for dinner. It
was the Thursday, three days after Christmas, and Camila had
finally been released from the hospital earlier that morning with
her speech no better than it had been when she’d initially woken
up on the intensive care unit six days ago. “Honey, we have met
Camila before,” Clara reminded Lauren, offering her daughter a
small, sympathetic smile in an attempt to reassure her. “Yeah I
know,” Lauren conceded, continuing to pace, “but she’s different
now.” She told them sadly. “Her speech is much worse than
you’ve ever seen it before and I just don’t want you to make her
feel selfconscious.” Lauren said seriously. “She struggles with her
confidence as it is.” “I think,” Clara said, standing up and placing a
comforting hand on her daughter’s shoulder, stopping her in her
tracks, “that this probably has more to do with the fact that
you’re nervous about having your girlfriend’s family round for
 dinner than Camila’s difficulties with her speech.” She noted
shrewdly. “You guys have to be normal, ok?” Lauren said, getting
right to the crux of the problem and admitting that her mom had
been close to the mark with her observation. “Don’t be weird and
make them feel uncomfortable…” “We’re not weird,” her dad
chimed in, laughing lightly from his position on the sofa, evidently
amused by his daughter’s nervousness. “I know,” Lauren sighed,
“but, I really like her and it’s the first time I’ve ever had a proper
girlfriend and you’ve met her family, just, don’t ruin it for me,
please?” she pleaded and Clara pulled her in to a warm embrace,
kissing her on the forehead supportively. “Lauren,” she said
simply, moving her head back to look at her eldest child after a
moment, her eyes bright, and an encouraging smile on her lips.
“Everyone will be on their best behaviour tonight I promise,” Clara
reassured her, but Lauren didn’t look convinced. “Look I know it
might be weird because she’s a girl…” Lauren started, but Clara
cut her off immediately by pulling her in to a tight embrace once
again. “Hey,” Clara scolded, not relaxing her grasp from around
Lauren’s shoulders. “I’ve already told you before that your dad
and I don’t care who you date as long as you’re happy. We’re
proud of you no matter what, you know that…” “You say that,”
Lauren started, getting agitated by the prospect of this new
experience, her unease palpable, “but this kind of makes it real
doesn’t it? I mean, it’s different when you don’t have to see it…”
“Oh, we’ve seen it,” Chris commented laughing and Lauren threw
 him a warning look, her eyes glaring meaningfully for him to say
no more about the time he’d walked in on Camila and her in her
bedroom.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 2/11 “Chris,” Clara reproached, turning to
face him for an instant, her eyes growing wide and silently telling
him to keep quiet, that he wasn’t helping the situation. She
turned back to Lauren and brushed a strand of her hair soothingly.
“Lauren,” she continued, addressing her daughter again. “You and
Camila have been dating for a while now…” she reminded her.
“Since October,” Lauren informed her quickly, interceding, the
date firmly fixed in her memory. “Right,” Clara laughed, stroking
Lauren’s hair where it fell down in loose curls and framed her
face. “We’ve seen how the two of you are together and trust me
when I say that your father and I are in no way confused about
the definition of your relationship…” “To be honest Lauren,” her
dad said, standing up from his position on the sofa and walking
over to his daughter in order to place an arm around her
shoulder, “most dads with teenage daughters have to worry
about boys taking advantage of their little girls and unplanned
pregnancies…” he told her playfully. “I can’t tell you how much of
a relief it is that I don’t have to be concerned about becoming a
grandfather just yet,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Mike,” Clara reprimanded, hitting him on the arm but she smiled
when she saw Lauren relax in response to his joviality. “Yeah, well
 there’s still Chris and Taylor,” she said laughing despite her
trepidation at the upcoming dinner. “You may well become a
grandfather yet,” she teased him. “Not a chance,” he laughed,
pulling Lauren close in to his side and hugging her affectionately.
“Chris is grounded until he’s at least thirtyfive and I refuse to let
Taylor date until she’s the same age.” He jested. “Hey,” Chris and
Taylor protested in unison and Lauren laughed at their response.
“Seriously though sweetheart,” Clara said, rolling her eyes in
amusement at her husband’s behaviour as she rubbed Lauren’s
arm with her hand, “you know how much we like Camila, she’s a
remarkable girl and we think a lot about her, we’d never do
anything to jeopardise your relationship.” She told her truthfully.
“Tonight will be fun I promise,” Clara reassured her, rubbing
Lauren’s arm again and stroking her brow lightly with the fingers
of her other hand. “Just try and relax alright,” she coached. “No
one will say anything to Camila about her speech,” Clara told her
seriously, looking around at the rest of her family who were all
nodding wholeheartedly in agreement with her words. “It’s just a
nice opportunity for us to get to know her family better and do
something nice for them after the week that they’ve had. It’ll be
fine, I promise.” “Ok,” Lauren said, sighing in relief at her mom’s
assurances. “Just, please don’t stare at her either,” she requested,
still a little nervous. “She has a black eye and this cut…” “Will you
please stop worrying,” Clara laughed interrupted Lauren just as
the doorbell rang informing them that their guests had arrived.
“Oh God,” Lauren muttered, inhaling a deep breath and turning to
look at her mom. “That’s them.” “I know honey,” Clara replied,
placing a hand on Lauren’s shoulder and giving her a supportive
smile. “Do you want to go and let them in?” she asked laughing
lightly. “Oh right,” Lauren said, turning to do as her mom
suggested and pausing briefly at the living room door to look back
at her family. “Everyone just…please be cool,” she entreated
pleadingly before disappearing out of sight to answer the door.
“She does realise that she’s the only person that’s not acting cool
right now doesn’t she?” Chris asked chuckling to himself and Clara
put her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in to a side hug as
they waited to greet their guests. “Leave her alone,” she chided
him lightly, meeting his gaze. “You’ll understand what it’s like
when you’re in her shoes.” “It’s not that big a deal,” Chris
commented, unsure what all the fuss was about. “It’s just dinner.”
“Oh son,” Mike said amused, placing a hand on the side of Chris’
neck and patting it gently. “Introducing your parents to your
girlfriends’ parents is never just dinner.” He told him as Lauren
appeared in the doorway, Camila by her side holding a bouquet of
flowers, her free hand entwined with her girlfriends’.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 3/11 Sinu, Alejandro and Sofi entered
behind them and Lauren turned to introduce everyone to one
another, Camila unable to make the introductions herself. “Guys,”
she said nervously, “these are Camila’s parents and her younger
 sister Sofi,” she introduced, gesturing to Sinu, Alejandro and the
youngster respectively as she spoke. “Hi, I’m Lauren’s dad Mike,”
her dad said, offering his hand in greeting to Alejandro and
shaking it firmly as he too introduced himself and Sinu, Mike
turning to hug Camila’s mom briefly before he crouched down in
front of Sofi who was hiding shyly behind her. “Hi princess,” he
said kindly to her, a wide welcoming smile on his face which made
her beam in response. “Hi,” Sofi said timidly, hiding her face
behind Sinu’s leg further but watching Mike closely as he stood up
to introduce his family. “This is my wife Clara,” Mike announced,
placing a hand on her shoulder as she passed him to step forward
and hug both Alejandro and Sinu warmly, “and this is my son Chris
and my youngest daughter Taylor,” he said pointing to where he
his other two children stood watching the exchange from across
the room. They waved at Camila’s family from their position and
the Cabello’s reciprocated the gesture in return as Clara
welcomed her daughter’s girlfriend. “Hi Camila,” Clara said kindly,
turning towards the youngster and pulling her into a warm
embrace, wrapping her arms around small girls’ torso
affectionately. “Hi,” Camila replied reflexively as Clara released
her and her hands on her shoulders. “How are you feeling?” Clara
asked her and Camila smiled, dropping her gaze to the floor for a
moment before nodding her head in response to the question.
“Ff…ff…ffii…ne,” she answered meeting Clara’s gaze and Lauren’s
mom squeezed the youngsters shoulders’ encouragingly. “Good,”
she acknowledged, a small smile on her face. “I’m glad that you’re
feeling better,” she told her sincerely as Camila held up the
bouquet of flowers in front of her. “Tt…tthhe…tthhese…” she
stuttered, her words catching on her tongue. “Ff…ffor…yy…
yyo..ou,” she managed to spit out and Clara noticed the look of
embarrassment on Camila’s face at hearing the sound of her
speech aloud in the quiet room. “They’re beautiful,” Clara said
honestly as she took the bouquet from Camila and sniffed them,
appreciating their fragrant scent. “Thank you,” she said gratefully,
placing a hand on the youngsters shoulder for an instant before
turning back towards her parents. “I’m so glad that you could all
come,” Clara told them truthfully. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Thank you for having us,” Sinu returned, reaching in to a bag
which she’d placed on the floor by her feet and pulling out a box
of chocolates and a bottle of wine which she promptly handed to
Lauren’s dad. “I know it’s not much but, it’s just a small token of
our appreciation,” she told him and Mike smiled at her amiably.
“Thank you,” he responded, accepting the gifts and gesturing
towards the door behind them. “Why don’t I put this in the fridge
and get you all something to drink?” he asked. “Is wine ok?” he
questioned and both Camila’s parents accepted the offer
gratefully. “What about you princess?” Mike asked Sofi crouching
down to her level again. “Would you like some juice?” Sofi
nodded her head enthusiastically and Mike held out the box of
chocolates for her to take. “Tell you what,” he said to her, still
 smiling broadly, “why don’t you bring these to the kitchen for me
and we can see what there is in the fridge.” “Ok,” Sofi said taking
the box of chocolates happily. Mike held out his now free hand for
the young girl to take and she hesitated for a moment, looking at
her mom, who nodded her head encouragingly before finally
grasping it in her own. “I’ll help you,” Alejandro offered and Mike
nodded in acknowledgement before leading them both out of the
living room and in to the kitchen. “Let me put these gorgeous
flowers in some water and then I’ll check on the dinner” Clara
said, admiring the bouquet in her hands.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 4/11 “Can I do anything to help?” Sinu
asked and Clara smiled as she replied, meeting the other woman’s
gaze squarely. “That would be great, thank you,” she answered,
linking her arm with Camila’s mom and leading her through the
door. “I’m going to go and see if I can help dad with the drinks,”
Taylor said quickly, waving at Camila in welcome as she passed
her and disappeared as well. “Hi Camila,” Chris greeted, stepping
towards the shorter girl with a serious expression on his face.
“Listen,” he started shyly, meeting her chocolate coloured eyes,
“don’t worry about tonight,” he said. “I won’t mention anything
about what I saw before,” he told her, casting a look in Lauren’s
direction. “I promise. Just…I’m glad that you’re alright…” “Chris
what are you doing?” Lauren asked, confused by her brother’s
strange behaviour. “I’m just…you know…being nice…” he
 answered, his eye’s falling across Camila’s face and on to the
bruise surrounding her right eye finally understanding about what
she’d been through. “I didn’t realise that tonight was such a big
deal so…just…you don’t have to worry about me saying anything
ok?” he finished rambling. Camila held up her hand to form an
‘ok’ sign in response before giving Chris a thumbs up. “You look
really pretty,” he said to Camila seriously, casting an eye at Lauren
and smiling at his older sister tenderly, hoping that he was doing
the right thing to help Camila’s confidence and to reduce Lauren’s
unease. Lauren returned Chris’ warm smile and put a hand on his
arm grateful for his kind words. “I’m going to go and help mom
set the table,” he said nodding his head in acknowledgement of
Lauren’s response and pointing to the door over his shoulder with
his thumb. “I’ll see you both in a minute,” he told them, turning
on his heel and leaving the pair of them alone in the living room
for a moment, Lauren watching as he departed. Once he was
gone, Lauren turned to Camila, wrapping both her arms around
the smaller girls’ neck. “Hi,” she said smiling broadly, her eyes
bright at finally having Camila back in her arms and out of the
hospital. “Hi,” Camila replied, placing a hand around Lauren’s
waist. “Are you ok?” Lauren asked playing with Camila’s hair well
it fell across her shoulders. Camila nodded her head in response
and Lauren exhaled deeply. “I’m so happy you’re finally out of the
hospital,” Lauren told her and Camila stroke her girlfriend’s upper
arm with her free hand. “Mmee…tt…oo,” she agreed, reaching a
 hand in to her jeans pocket and pulling something out. Lauren
watched her with a puzzled expression on her face for a moment
and chuckled to herself as Camila lifted her arm above their
heads, a small piece of mistletoe in her hand. “Really?” Lauren
asked her, pulling Camila closer. “Mistletoe huh?” she asked and
Camila nodded her head a wide grin on her face. “Well, I guess I
should kiss you then.” Lauren commented amused at her
girlfriend’s antics. “It is tradition after all isn’t it?” she questioned
and Camila leant her face nearer to Lauren’s so that their mouths
were almost touching as she nodded her head again. Lauren tilted
her head up to look at the mistletoe above and smiled again
before finally lowering her face and gently connecting her lips
with Camila’s, the soft flesh of her girlfriend’s pressing against her
own pleasurably. Lauren felt Camila pull against her lower back
firmly with her left arm, pushing their hips together as she
deepened the kiss, her tongue probing at the entrance to Lauren’s
mouth, desperately seeking a return to the intimacy that they’d
had before she’d been admitted to the hospital. Lauren opened
her mouth hungrily, also wishing to get back to how they had
been before Camila’s seizure, her hand pulling at the hair at the
base of her girlfriends’ neck
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 5/11 momentarily before bringing their
faces closer together as their tongues reacquainted themselves
with one another. After a couple of minutes, Lauren pulled back
 slightly, separating their lips but resting her forehead against
Camila’s, not wanting to be distanced from her too much. She
closed her eyes as she reached up to brush her girlfriend’s cheek
softly, the two of them sucking in deep lungful’s of air as they
caught their breath. “You’re a dork,” Lauren teased Camila smiling
at the fact that she had come to her house brandishing mistletoe
so boldly. “Mmhmmm,” Camila agreed as Lauren opened her eyes
and the smaller girl lifted the mistletoe above them once again,
planting quick soft kisses against Lauren’s lips, then her cheek,
then the tip of her nose enthusiastically. Lauren lifted her hand in
an attempt to grab the small piece of plant from her girlfriend’s
grasp, but Camila laughed, twisting her torso and evading her.
“We should go and see what everyone is up to,” Lauren said
seriously, laughing as Camila still avoided her attempts to steal
the mistletoe from her. “Someone will come looking for us in a
minute,” she told her and Camila shook her head, a mischievous
grin on her face as she quickly lifted the mistletoe once more and
pecked Lauren on the lips again, her girlfriend smiling in to the
kiss for an instant before they separated once more. “Camz,” she
said, sighing breathily and meeting her girlfriends’ bright
chocolate eyes, the sparkle that had been lost; the intelligence
that the sedation and medication had quashed, back once again.
“You’re obviously feeling better,” Lauren laughed trying to snatch
the mistletoe once more and failing again as she twisted out of
reach. Camila nodded, hiding the mistletoe behind her back as
 Lauren reached around her torso and tried to take it, rolling her
eyes when she still came out of the endeavour empty handed.
“Ok fine, you asked for it,” Lauren said meaningfully, bringing her
arms back from around Camila’s back and tickling her abdomen
profusely, causing her girlfriend to squirm in response, still
holding the mistletoe out of reach. Camila’s body contorted in
response but finally she relented, offering up the small piece of
plant to her girlfriend who took it with a wide grin on her face at
the sight of Camila bent over, her face flushed as she caught her
breath, a smile that reached all the way to her eyes on her face.
“Come on,” Lauren said, reaching for Camila’s hand and pulling on
it gently leading her towards the living room door. “Let’s see what
everyone is doing,” she suggested but Camila tugged her arm and
pulled her back, spinning her around quickly for a moment and
taking Lauren’s mouth in her own forcefully. Camila smiled
brightly as she moved her head back and stepped past Lauren,
leading her girlfriend out in to the hallway and making the taller
girl roll her eyes in amusement. They found everyone assembled
in the kitchen; their mom’s talking animatedly whilst Clara
finished preparing the dinner, their dad’s chuckling deeply to
something one of them had said. Their sisters were sat at the
kitchen counter, Taylor taking an interest in Sofi’s doll which she’d
bought and had been given by her grandma for Christmas. Chris
was nowhere to be found, probably having escaped back upstairs
to play video games until it was time to eat. Camila gave Lauren a
 look which the taller of the two interpreted as her girlfriend
alluding to the fact that they weren’t missed and could have spent
longer making out had she not been so eager to socialise. Lauren
laughed at the pout that Camila gave her, kissing her quickly on
the lips to eradicate it as soon as possible. Twenty minutes later,
after the jovial conversations had continued easily, dinner was
ready, and they all sat together around the dining room table to
eat, Chris now having joined them. “I’d like to raise a toast if that’s
ok?” Mike asked; lifting his glass of wine as he looked at the faces
of those sat around the table and noted them nodded in
agreement with his request. “To new friends,” he started,
glancing at the Cabello’s warmly. “To family,” he continued
looking towards his wife and his three children proudly, “and to
health, happiness and love,” he finished casting an eye in Camila’s
direction as she said the word ‘health’. The conversation flowed
freely over dinner, everyone enjoying each other’s company as
they discussed anything and everything with unexpected ease.
Lauren found herself relaxing more and more as the meal
progressed, no longer anxious about the meeting between her
parents and Camila’s, observing with contentment as they hit it
off famously, apparently having a lot of interests in common.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 6/11 Camila remained quiet during dinner,
mostly because her current speech difficulties made it hard for
her to engage in conversation but she watched everyone else
 attentively, trying her best to keep up with the quick paced
discussions, her concentration waning from time to time as she
withdrew in to her own thoughts. Lauren had been watching her
girlfriend closely out of the corner of her eye throughout the meal
and she noticed her struggle with her food, her left hand more
clumsy and uncoordinated than normal as she tried to eat and
keep up with everyone else. Lauren reached her hand beneath
the table to squeeze Camila’s knee when she saw her attention
drifting from the conversation or labouring with her food, bringing
her girlfriend back to the here and now knowingly whilst offering
her quiet reassurance that she was doing well. Camila had turned
her head and smiled at Lauren in response, causing small
butterflies to escape the confines of her stomach and flutter
around her abdomen hastily. “Shit!” Camila cursed when they
were almost through their meal and her grip on her fork with her
left hand had slipped, spilling a large portion of vegetables and
gravy across the table cloth in front of her.
“Ss…sss…sss…sssooorrry,” she apologised; stuttering quickly as
she’d stood up and tried to start patting the surface with her
napkin, her face growing red quickly as all eyes fell on her. As she
reached her hand forward, Camila managed to knock over her
glass of water, spilling half of the contents across the table until
Lauren quickly stood up and placed it back on its base, salvaging
the rest. “Shit,” Camila said again, reaching her napkin forward
and placing it on the table surface again as she tried to clean up
after herself. “Camila!” her mom scolded, disapproving of the use
of the profanities whilst they were someone else’s dinner guests
but deep down knowing she’d not meant the slip intentionally.
“I’m sorry,” Sinu apologised to Clara, standing up to help the
other woman as she aided Camila to mop up the liquid efficiently,
her daughter only serving to spread it around even further. “She
struggles to say her own name but apparently curse words are so
ingrained in her brain that they come out easily.” “It’s ok,” Clara
told Sinu genuinely. “It’s not a problem,” she reassured her, finally
cleaning up the mess and placing her napkin on to the empty
plate in front of her. “These things happen.” Camila looked
towards her mom who was sitting back down in her seat with a
remorseful expression on her face before, obviously sorry for her
clumsiness. She glanced back at Clara who was watching her
closely from where she stood. “Sss…sss…sss…” Camila tried to
apologise again, but her words wouldn’t come and she shook her
head from side to side as if to empty it of all unnecessary
information to help aid her speech’s return. “SSs…sssorrrry,”
Camila managed eventually. “It’s fine,” Clara assured her, smiling
kindly. “Chris does it all the time,” she joked, trying to put the
youngster at ease, and for his part Chris nodded his head in
agreement. “I….” Camila started, glancing back down at the table
and picking up her now soiled napkin in her hands, uncertain what
to do for the best. “Um….” She said, looking to Lauren who was
sat beside her. “It’s ok Camz,” Lauren told her truthfully. “Here, sit
down and finish your dinner,” she suggested but Camila shook her
head, her hands now dirty from her attempt to clean up. She held
them out for Lauren to see and she looked at her mom as she
asked, “Can Camila be excused to wash her hands?” “Of course,”
Clara replied, lifting her eyes to meet Camila’s inquiring ones
which were evidently frustrated at Lauren having to ask
permission for her. “You know where everything is Camila,” Clara
reminded her. Camila paused for a moment, glancing around at all
the other finished plates on the table and putting the napkin on to
her plate, signalling that she’d finished eating. “Camz,” Lauren
said placing a hand on her forearm. “You don’t have to stop eating
if you’re not finished yet,” she told her earnestly. “We’ll wait for
you if you’re still hungry.” Camila shook her head and pushed her
plate forward slightly to make her point, not wanting to hold the
others up with starting their dessert before disappearing out of
the dining room and to the restroom down the hallway. Lauren
watched her leave, biting her bottom lip anxiously, concerned for
her girlfriend in light of her reaction to what had happened.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 7/11 “I’m so sorry,” Sinu apologised to Clara
again and the other woman waved her hand dismissively.
“Honestly, there’s no need to apologise,” Clara told her sincerely.
“Please let me pay for your dry cleaning bill,” she offered,
observing the delicate table cloth now stained with gravy. “That
won’t be necessary,” Clara informed her kindly. “Please, it’s fine,
 honestly.” “Do you think Camila is ok?” Lauren asked still
watching the door to the room for her girlfriends’ return.
“Perhaps I should go and check on her,” Lauren mused. “Leave
her,” Clara said perceptively. “She’ll be alright sweetheart, just,
give her a moment.” Lauren remained in her seat as her mom
quickly cleared the table and bought in dessert, Camila returning
shortly afterwards, her hands now clean. She sat back down at the
table as Clara served the dessert, passing around bowls full of the
hot, sweet smelling food to everyone at the table. Lauren reached
her hand under the table, taking Camila’s hand in her own and
squeezing it comfortingly, her eyes boring in to the side of her
girlfriend’s face, afraid that she wouldn’t meet her gaze because
she felt embarrassed about what had happened. Lauren felt
herself relax however, when Camila squeezed her hand in return
and locked her dark eyes with the green of hers, a small smile on
her lips. They all finished dessert, Lauren offering to assist with
the dishes as she helped to clear the table but her mom refusing
her help to accept the kind offer of Sinu, who’d pretty much
insisted was ‘the least she could do,’ after the delicious meal that
they’d shared. Whilst their moms had vanished in to the kitchen
to clear up and their dad’s had disappeared in to the living room
to continue their discussion about football, Lauren and Camila had
gone up to her room, Chris having retired to his own to continue
with his video games and Taylor stealing Sofi up to her room out
of the way. “Shit,” Camila had said as she plopped face down on
to the bed after entering Lauren’s room, her girlfriend closing the
door shut behind them. “Camz it wasn’t that bad,” Lauren said,
sitting beside her on the bed and rubbing the small of her back
with her hand. “It was only a little gravy.” Camila turned her face
to look at Lauren who was studying her closely from her position,
a sad smile on her lips. “Www…ww…wateerrr…” Camila said
rolling her eyes and burying her face into the duvet frustrated and
annoyed at both her speech and her inherent clumsiness. “My
mom doesn’t care,” Lauren reassured her, “so forget about it
alright.” She instructed laughing a little. “Honestly, it isn’t a
problem.” Camila gave Lauren a look that said it might not be a
problem for her mom but it was for her before burying her head
in the duvet again and groaning. “Don’t be so hard on yourself;”
Lauren told her, “you’re still recovering. Give it a few days and
you’ll be good as knew,” she said but paused thinking. “Good
as…well, you were…any way.” Lauren waited for a moment,
hopeful that Camila would look at her and acknowledge her
words but she didn’t. “Camz,” Lauren said lowering her head so
that it was by Camila’s ear. “Don’t do this to yourself,” she
started; her tone playful. “I know you were clumsy before your
accident because Dinah told me. She said you once fell over
walking in flip flops.” She heard Camila chuckle into the fabric in
front of her, obviously remembering the scenario as it had
happened and lifted her head up to finally meet Lauren’s gaze.
She smiled when she saw the sprig of mistletoe that Lauren had
 stolen from her earlier, held up above them, a smirk plastered on
her girlfriends face as she attempted to cheer Camila up. Camila
raised her eyebrow at the sight of the plant and threw a quick
glance at the door before sitting herself up and crashing her lips
against Lauren’s, smiling in to the contact as her hands reached
behind her girlfriend’s back, finding their way down to her hips
and pulling them closer to her own on the bed. Camila heard
Lauren groan as she sucked on her bottom lip gently, pushing her
tongue into her girlfriends’ mouth eagerly, desiring the taste of
her, their mouths moving together in unison as they settled back
in to the dance they’d rehearsed so many times in the past.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 8/11 One of Lauren’s hands found its way
up Camila’s side, stroking a path along her left flank teasingly
enjoying the contact that they’d been denied for the past week.
Her other hand reached up for Camila’s neck, settling against the
side of it softly, her fingertips curling around the hair at the base
of her skull and enclosing it in her fist. Lauren felt Camila shift her
weight on the bed, pushing on to her knees slightly and forcing
herself backwards so that she had no choice but to lie down as
Camila hovered over her, their mouths never parting, their
tongues still dancing together rhythmically. Camila slid one of her
hands beneath Lauren’s top, grazing her abdomen lightly with her
fingertips and causing the muscles there to grow taut at her touch
for a moment before she applied further pressure, the palm of
 Camila’s hand pressing upwards until it fell across Lauren’s bra
and cupped her breast. Lauren opened her eyes in surprise,
pushing Camila off her slightly with one hand and separating their
lips for a moment. She saw Camila’s dilated pupils as she
struggled to catch her breath, her face lowering closer to her own,
eager to connect their lips once more. “Camz, what are you
doing?” Lauren asked, very much aware that both sets of their
parents were downstairs at this exact moment. “Our parents…”
she trailed off, reminding Camila where they were. Camila lifted
her free hand to brush Lauren’s brow softly, her eyes studying
Lauren’s face as though searching for something. “I…” Camila
started as her free hand fell to rest on Lauren’s cheek. “Mmm…
mmiissssed…yy…yyoou.” She said, her eyes burning in to Lauren’s.
“I…nnn… neeed….yy…yooou.” Lauren glanced at the door,
reciprocating Camila’s feelings but debating the situation
rationally. “This isn’t a good idea,” Lauren protested, knowing that
they’d be asking for trouble if they went any further. “Camz…” she
started but she stopped when Camila reached her hands down to
pull at the hem of her top, pulling it off over her head quickly and
leaving her soft flesh exposed for Lauren to admire freely. “Shit,”
Lauren said, biting her bottom lip, her hands finding their way to
Camila’s sides and stroking them tenderly, knowing that whatever
logical argument she’d been about to give was now lost. Camila
leant forward, planting a soft kiss to Lauren’s forehead before
trailing them down her jaw line and to her neck, lingering there
 for a moment at the spot just below her ear, enjoying the way
that Lauren tilted her head in response, evidently enjoying it.
“We’re so fucked,” Lauren mumbled, knowing that there was no
way they’d get away with this undiscovered. “Shit,” she cursed as
Camila tracked kisses down to her collar bone, her hand pushing
up under Lauren’s shirt to find her breast again, the other hand
slipping up to cradle Lauren’s neck. “Camz,” Lauren protested, her
brain trying to remain lucid despite Camila’s intoxicating allure.
“Fuck,” Lauren cursed again as Camila’s mouth found its way back
up to Lauren’s neck and the sweet spot she’d found there. “Holy
shit Camz, what about our parents?” Lauren asked her but, Camila
collided their lips together once more, silencing her girlfriends
concerns instantly, her hand sliding down into the back of
Lauren’s trousers and sneaking beneath her underwear to rest on
the soft flesh of her buttock, her other hand pushing Lauren’s bra
up to find the mound there. She felt Camila shift her weight so
that it was sitting in her lap and her tongue pushed further in to
Lauren’s mouth eliciting a moan from her as she sucked gently on
her girlfriend’s tongue. Lauren ran her hands up Camila’s sides
and they found their way round to the back of her bra, her fingers
playing with the elastic of the material until they found the clasp
there. She felt Camila smile against her lips but Lauren hesitated
uncertainly, her fingers paralysed as her brain debated her body’s
lust. Camila moved the hand from Lauren’s buttock and bought it
up to her girlfriends’ arm, tracing it back blindly until she reached
 Lauren’s hand where it sat, her fingers squeezing it reassuringly,
prompting her to continue. She moved her hand slightly, fiddling
with the clasp of Camila’s bra just as she heard a loud knock on
the door and the handle turn. “Shit,” Lauren cursed under her
breath, sitting up quickly, panicked. She twisted her position on
the bed as she pushed Camila off her hurriedly, causing the
smaller girl to roll on to the floor by the side of the bed and out of
sight with a loud thud just as Lauren’s mom entered. “Hey,” Clara
said, looking around the room and frowning when she didn’t see
the other girl. “Where’s Camila?” she asked confused. “Ithought
she was in here with you.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63780387197/trialsand-
tribulationschapter37 9/11 “Bathroom,” Lauren said swiftly,
sitting up in the bed a little more to look at her mom, her face
burning traitorously. Clara turned her head to look down the
hallway and noted the closed bathroom door. “Ok,” she accepted
easily, evidently missing Lauren’s tense behaviour. “When she’s
out can you tell her that her parents’ are ready to go?” she asked
her daughter. “Sofi’s tired so they want to get her home to bed.”
“Sure,” Lauren replied speedily, trying not to look at Camila’s top
which she’d noticed was scrunched up on her bed from the corner
of her eye. “No problem,” Lauren told her. “Thanks,” Clara said,
turning and disappearing out the door, pulling it too slightly but
not closing it completely. Lauren stayed where she was, holding
her breath, terrified of moving just yet until she knew that her
mom had gone back downstairs. She listened silently as the sound
of footsteps quietened and disappeared completely before
quickly rolling over on her side to look over the edge of the bed at
Camila who was lying in a heap on the floor, her hand firmly
pressed over her mouth to stifle her laughter, her chest and
abdomen vibrating quickly as she silently chuckled to herself.
“Holy shit Camz,” Lauren cursed, throwing her girlfriends’ top
down to her and breathing deeply, her chest painful where she’d
held her breath. “That was fucking close…Jesus Christ…” she
breathed, exhaling noisily as Camila sat up and pulled her top
back over her head. She sat up on the floor and leant forward
planting a quick kiss to Lauren’s lips, a face eating grin on her
features as she continued to laugh. “I’m glad that you’re finding
this so amusing,” Lauren said, putting a hand to her chest and
feeling as though she was in the midst of having a heart attack.
“It’s alright for you,” she said, “you can’t make any noise but
some of us aren’t so fortunate,” she commented, laughing despite
her anguish at having almost been caught in a compromising
position by her mom. “Shit,” she said again as Camila stood up
and made her way towards Lauren’s bedroom door amused. “At
least I cheered you up,” Lauren noted and Camila turned to look
at her girlfriend, waiting for her to catch up. “I suppose that’s
something right?” she asked and Camila smiled in response, her
grin reaching from ear to ear and exposing her white pearly teeth,
setting her eyes alight with life. Camila pushed Lauren up against
 the door firmly, closing it beneath her girlfriends’ weight and
kissed her forcefully for a moment, stunning Lauren in to silence.
“Ok…” Lauren sighed, still shocked, Camila’s eyes studying her
closely. “What the hell did they give you in the hospital?” she
asked laughing as Camila kissed her quickly on the lips again.
“Nno…tthing,” Camila answered her smile still firmly in place.
“I…jjjust…lll… lloove….yy…yyooou,” Camila told her stumbling
over her words before kissing Lauren once again, her lips
seemingly not wanting to be parted from her girlfriends’ for
longer than a few minutes. “I love you too Camz,” Lauren
reciprocated, stroking a stray strand of hair out of Camila’s eyes
and tucking it behind her ear. Camila reached forward and Lauren
thought she was going to kiss her again, but, found herself slightly
disappointed when she turned the handle to open the door.
Lauren stepped out of the way as the door opened and Camila
gestured her through it dramatically with her arm. “Screw you,”
Lauren said playfully, noticing the smirk on her girlfriends face and
reaching out to take her hand instead, leading her through the
door and down the stairs, their fingers entwined and Lauren
chuckling to herself in amusement the entire way.
Chapter 38
“So where are your parents and everyone?” Normani asked
Lauren as the two of them moved around the Jauregui kitchen,
pulling out bowls and bags of chips from the cupboards in
preparation for the Christmas movie marathon that they’d
 rearranged with the rest of the girls for today. It was New Years’
Eve and Normani had returned from Texas late last night after
having spent the holidays there with her family. “My parents are
at Camila’s house,” Lauren informed her chuckling at the
unexpected turn of events. “They really hit it off on Thursday
night,” Lauren told her, pulling out a couple of bottles of soda
from the fridge and tucking them under her arm as she walked
over to the kitchen counter to deposit them there. “My dad is
watching the Dolphins game with Camila’s dad whilst our moms
go shopping.” She laughed at the absurdity of it all. “Chris and
Taylor are both staying over at friends’ to see in the New Year.”
“So your parents will be back later?” Normani asked, rummaging
through a cupboard and pulling out some microwaveable
popcorn. “No, they probably won’t be back until the early hours
of tomorrow morning,” Lauren said as she pulled out an
assortment of sweets from a draw beside the sink. “Camila’s
parents are having some friends over for a party tonight to
celebrate the New Year so they’re staying there.” “So we’ll be
unsupervised,” Normani mused, raising her eyebrow thoughtfully.
“Interesting…” “Why is that interesting?” Lauren asked, not
understanding Normani’s train of thought. “Well, we’re all staying
over so it’ll give you and Camila the chance to, I don’t know,
celebrate the start of a New Year together,” she finished, smirking
in Lauren’s direction at the insinuation. Lauren rolled her eyes in
response to Normani’s suggestion. “What, with all of you here?”
Lauren asked making a face. “I don’t think so do you? Besides, my
parents might be celebrating the New Year with Camila’s parents
and her friends but they’ll be back at some point. I don’t really
think it’ll be a good idea for them to find me and Camila in bed
together tomorrow morning. I’d be grounded for the next three
hundred and sixty five days, guaranteed.” “Where is your
girlfriend anyway?” Normani asked as she opened a pack of the
microwaveable popcorn and put it in to the machine. “I thought
she would have already been here by now.” “She’s getting a lift
here with Ally and Dinah,” Lauren replied, turning around to lean
against the kitchen counter as she watched Normani copy her
stance opposite. “So how is she?” Normani asked genuinely
interested in Camila’s health. “She’s…better,” Lauren answered
hesitantly. “Just, better?” Normani asked, chuckling lightly. “Wow,
don’t over sell it Lo,” she remarked amused.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 2/10 “Ok, she’s a lot better,” Lauren
repeated, more confidently. “It’s just…” “What?” Normani
prompted when Lauren didn’t continue. “What is it?” “Ok,”
Lauren said, shifting her position slightly to get a better view of
Normani who was pulling the bag of popcorn out of the
microwave carefully and emptying it into a bowl. “Physically she’s
great,” Lauren explained as Normani returned her attention to her
friend, the task she’d been doing now completed. “She’s walking
much better than when she first woke up and her hand is still
 clumsy but it’s almost back to how it was before the seizure,”
Lauren said, arm leaning onto the marble beside her firmly as she
paused for a moment, trying to calculate the best way to explain
herself. “Her speech is still crap,” she finally settled on saying.
“Didn’t the doctor say it could take a few days?” Normani asked,
trying to remain positive and giving Lauren a sympathetic smile.
“Yeah but it’s been a week,” Lauren shared with her friend,
frustrated. “I mean, ok, so it’s a little better now…she can speak
one word answers consistently but otherwise it’s rubbish. She can
hardly express herself at all.” Lauren continued. “So what?”
Normani questioned. “It’s just taking a little longer than expected
that’s all. Camila will get there eventually.” “I know,” Lauren
groaned, “but I really need to talk to her about something and it’s
kind of hard when she can’t speak.” “What do you need to talk to
her about?” Normani asked with interest. “A few things,” Lauren
responded, running a hand through her hair. “Remember I told
you that she gave me her diary for Christmas?” “Yeah,” Normani
confirmed. “Well, there’s some stuff in there that I really want to
discuss with her,” Lauren told her. “Stuff that you’re upset
about?” Normani queried probingly, Lauren not having divulged
any particulars to her. “No not at all,” Lauren said slightly
surprised that Normani would assume that to be the reason. “The
opposite actually,” she went on. “Honestly Normani,” Lauren said,
sighing thoughtfully. “Camila’s words, they’re just, I wish I could
share them with you. She’s so smart and insightful.” “Camila used
 to take a lot of AP classes before she had the accident,” Normani
reminded her. “You already knew that she was smart.” “I know,”
Lauren agreed, “but she’s so articulate and…ugh, you know what?
I can’t explain it. I just want to talk to her about what she’s
written that’s all and it’s annoying because I can’t.” “Well, you can
still talk to her about it,” Normani noted. “Just, you won’t
necessarily get anything back in return for a while, that’s all.”
Lauren glared at Normani in response to the comment. “Or don’t
talk to her yet,” Normani laughed shrugging, observing the look
she was getting. “Whatever, it’s up to you.” “So how was your
Christmas?” Lauren asked, looking to change the subject. “Oh no,”
Normani said sliding along the counter so that she was closer to
her friend. “You’re not getting out of it that easily.” She informed
her. “We haven’t finished talking about you yet. How was yours?”
“Normani, I spent almost all of it sat by Camila’s hospital bed,”
Lauren told her. “It could have been better.” “Ok,” Normani said
placing a hand on Lauren’s shoulder supportively. “You sound
pissed. What’s going on?” “Nothing is going on,” Lauren groaned
standing up straight. “You’re a horrible liar Lo,” Normani said as
Lauren walked over to the fridge as a distraction and pulled out a
can of soda. She offered one to Normani who declined before
closing the appliance door again. “Are you mad at Camila for
being sick?” “No,” Lauren answered quickly. “Of course not…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 3/10 “So then, is it about the dinner on
Thursday?” Normani asked her. “Did something happen?” Lauren
didn’t say anything in response, instead choosing to look at her
feet which she shifted her weight between evidently
uncomfortable. “Oh my God,” Normani replied knowingly,
“Something did happen, didn’t it? Tell me.” “It wasn’t really
anything,” Lauren said lifting her gaze to meet Normani’s at last.
“It’s just, after dinner we went up to my room…” “Of course you
did,” Normani interrupted excitedly, winking at Lauren
suggestively. “Nothing happened,” Lauren told her, glaring at her
friend. “It almost did though,” Normani said knowingly. “Camila
wanted it to,” Lauren informed her simply. “What and you
didn’t?” Normani asked. “Lauren, you’re joking right? Is that what
this is about?” “Of course I wanted to,” Lauren answered,
remembering the sight of Camila as she sat on the bed in just her
bra, her toned stomach on display. “Ok now I’m lost,” Normani
said puzzled. “She wanted to and you wanted to…” “Our parents
were downstairs,” Lauren commented. “Trust me, it was not the
time. My mom almost walked in on us and I ended up accidentally
throwing Camila off the bed and out of sight on to the floor.”
Normani laughed at Lauren’s story, picturing the scenario in her
head. “It’s not funny Normani,” Lauren chastised. “My mom
would literally have killed me if she’d found us like that.” “I’m
struggling to understand what exactly it is that you’re annoyed
about,” Normani told her honestly. “Are you pissed because
Camila was being dominant or is it because you almost got caught
by your mom?” “Neither,” Lauren said. “Trust me, Camila is not as
innocent as she seems. She’s just as likely to start something
between us as I am. Although, ok, I’ll admit that maybe I don’t
know what to do sometimes when she’s like that. I mean, Jesus
Christ Normani, when Camila turns it on, I…it’s…fuck…it’s like…”
“Ok,” Normani said holding her hand up in protest. “Let’s not go
there, alright?” “Fine,” Lauren said rolling her eyes and getting
back to her original point, “it’s just…ok, so, since the seizure she’s
been overly affectionate. She kisses me all the time and she’s
always touching me…” “So what’s the problem with that?”
Normani asked in disbelief at Lauren’s words. “God, I wish Arin
was like that with me, sometimes he’s such a boy, often he’s more
interested in his video games than me.” “Normani you don’t
understand. It’s not like her. I mean, it is…but it isn’t.” she
struggled to explain. “It’s like we can barely spend two seconds
together anymore without it turning in to a make out session.”
Lauren explained. “I hate to break it to you Lo, but you two have
always been like that.” She laughed. “That’s not true,” Lauren
replied. “Yes it is,” Normani disagreed. “Ask any one.” “It’s just
weird,” Lauren commented. “I mean we used to talk all the time
and now…like, take yesterday for example, I went to her house
and we spent the whole day pretty much curled up on her bed,
kissing and cuddling…” “Why are you complaining about that?”
Normani asked her. “Most people in your situation would just
enjoy it.” “Our relationship is deeper than that,” Lauren shared
with her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the physical side of things,
the kissing and the touches, they’re amazing but, I miss being able
to talk to her. I’m sorry if that makes me sound ungrateful.” “It
doesn’t,” Normani reassured her. “It’s actually kind of sweet.” She
admitted. “Lo, did you ever think that perhaps Camila misses that
too?” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trials-
andtribulationschapter38 4/10 “What do you mean?” Lauren
asked her. “Well, perhaps she misses that side of your relationship
too, you know, the philosophical and emotional connection you
share,” Normani explained perceptively. “She knows she can’t
speak and perhaps she’s feeling distanced from you because of
that as well. Maybe she’s trying to compensate for it by being
more physical.” “Huh,” Lauren said wistfully. “I’d never thought of
that.” “I know it must be hard for you both what with her having
been in the hospital and now with her speech being so impaired
but, she’s probably just making sure that you know how she feels
about you. She can’t speak at the moment so the only way for her
to express herself is through actions instead. You already said that
Camila is really insightful and smart Lo. Just because she can’t
speak, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t understand what’s going
on. You’ve already alluded to as much.” “I’m such a bitch,” Lauren
groaned in realisation at the truth in Normani’s words. “No,
you’re not a bitch,” Normani laughed as she pulled Lauren in to a
hug. “You’re just dealing with a lot at the moment that’s all, both
of you are. Communication is the most important foundation for
 any relationship, or so my dad always says, so, it’s bound to be
hard when you’re not able to do that because of Camila’s
disabilities.” “Ijust hate that we have to keep going through all
this stuff,” Lauren acknowledged. “It’s like we’ll finally get to a
point in our relationship where we can both be happy and then
something will come out of nowhere and disrupt everything. First
there was Rachel, than there were the nosebleeds and now the
seizure…” “You should talk to her,” Normani said seriously, lifting
her hand up to stop Lauren responding when she opened her
mouth to do so. “No hear me out, ok? You guys have always
talked about things before…” “No Camila talks about things,”
Lauren realised. “She’s so put together that way, like, when I
confessed my feelings for her and walked out. She called me
numerous times to try and talk before finally turning up at school
to confront me. The same thing happened after the initial Rachel
debacle. Camila came to my house to speak to me. It’s like she’s
incapable of letting the sun set on an argument…” “Well, perhaps
nearly dying will do that to a person,” Normani mused. “Although
there was the whole Dinah thing,” Normani added. “She let a few
suns set on that one.” “Fair point,” Lauren conceded. “I mean, she
can be the most introspective person at times and she infuriates
me when she keeps things to herself and lets them eat away at
her, but, other times, she’s so open and eloquently spoken about
her feelings that she’s like two completely different people.”
“She’s had to be though,” Normani replied. “She can’t be
 expressive and articulate all the time because of her impairments
so she’s learnt to be reflective and closed off, but, she’s learning
to open up because of you Lo. Now you have to do her the
courtesy of being honest with her. Tell her how you feel.” “What if
I hurt her feelings by telling her that I miss the way we used to
talk though?” Lauren asked. “What is she’s upset that the physical
stuff doesn’t compensate for what we’ve lost because of her
speech problems?” “She won’t be,” Normani reassured her.
“Camila loves you Lauren. She’d want to know how you were
feeling. She understands that the whole thing is difficult for you
too.” “What did they feed you in Texas to make you so smart?”
Lauren questioned her friend amused by her shrewdness.
“Anything and everything,” Normani commented laughing. “There
was a lot of food. I remember that much.” “You think she’ll be ok
if Itell her that I miss talking to her?” Lauren asked interestedly. “I
think she’ll appreciate your honesty,” Normani shared. “Plus,
she’s probably more astute than you think Lo, trust me, you’ll be
fine.” “Thanks Normani,” Lauren said gratefully, rubbing her
friends arm in appreciation. “You’re welcome,” she returned. “So,
how was your Christmas?” Lauren asked her interestedly, taking a
sip of her soda.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 5/10 “It was nice,” Normani shared with
her. “It was really good to see everyone again but I missed you
guys.” “Did Arin get you something nice?” Lauren asked,
remembering the heartfelt gifts Camila had given her and smiling.
“Honestly,” Normani replied pushing herself onto the counter and
sitting down, her legs dangling in the air gently. “He gave me a
voucher.” “A voucher?” Lauren asked raising an eyebrow. “Yeah,”
Normani confirmed. “Not even for a specific store, just like, a
generic high street voucher.” “Wow,” Lauren said surprised.
“Exactly,” Normani commented. “Is everything alright between
the two of you?” Lauren asked concerned. “I mean, you’re alright
aren’t you?” “We’ve been better,” Normani shared with her sadly.
“For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t be too concerned with the fact
that Camila is finding it difficult to keep her hands off you. It’s
when the attention stops that you need to worry Lo.” Normani
paused for a moment before continuing. “I mean, Camila and you
don’t talk like you did before because she physically can’t at the
moment, but, you’re still together, she’s still trying to show you
how much you mean to her, to make you feel appreciated and
wanted,” Normani said informatively. “Arin and I have barely
spoken over the holidays and there is nothing wrong with either
of us. He hasn’t even text me since I got back and I haven’t text
him.” She finished. “Are you still together?” Lauren asked
surprised by Normani’s confession. “For now,” Normani replied
seriously. “To be honest Lo, I didn’t miss not talking to him. Not
like you obviously miss talking to Camila. I don’t know, I think
perhaps we might break up soon.” “I’m sorry Normani,” Lauren
said sincerely, hopping off the kitchen counter and walking over
 to hug her friend compassionately. “It’s ok,” Normani told her
honestly, hugging Lauren back. “Is there anything I can do?”
Lauren asked genuinely. “Yeah,” Normani said, a smile creeping
on to her lips. “You can make out with you damn girlfriend if
that’s what she wants,” she told her jokingly, making Lauren laugh
loudly in response. “Consider it done,” Lauren agreed. “Anything
else? I could set you up with a really hot, amazing guy?” she
offered. “You wouldn’t be able to spot one if your life depended
on it Lo,” Normani laughed and Lauren smiled as she watched the
amusement on her friends face. “You’re such a lesbian.” “I’m not
that much of a lesbian,” Lauren complained hitting Normani
playfully on the arm. “Remember that time I thought I was
straight?” she asked. “I even dated a couple of guys…” “You may
have been in denial for a little bit Lo, but, you’ve always been
gay.” Normani laughed. “The never ending crushes you had on
ever female Disney channel star whilst we were growing up was
more than enough confirmation for me and Ally.” “I didn’t fancy
all of them,” Lauren protested. “Lauren you even had a thing for
Kim Possible and she was a cartoon character,” Normani
chuckled. “She was a high school student and a crime fighter,”
Lauren explained. “Plus she looked good in cargo pants and a mid-
riff baring turtleneck. Who didn’t have a thing for her?” “Me.”
Normani laughed but she smiled at her friend’s admission. “You
know, I’ve missed this,” Normani commented seriously. “The two
of us hanging out together, I mean.” She paused for an instant
 before continuing. “Sometimes I feel like a bit of an
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 6/10 outsider because I don’t share home
room with you guys. I feel like I miss out on things.” “I miss us
hanging out as much too,” Lauren agreed. “I’m sorry if you feel
like we exclude you.” “I don’t,” Normani reassured her. “I mean, I
know you don’t do it on purpose. It’s not your fault,” Normani
said. “It’s just difficult because you all have extra time together to
hang out and you have conversations that I don’t get to be a part
of.” “Do you think I’m one of those people who completely forget
about their friends when I’m in a relationship?” Lauren asked her
seriously. “No,” Normani told her truthfully. “You actually balance
the two really well. I think it helps that Camila is our friend
though. To be honest, I wouldn’t blame you for getting completely
lost in your relationship with Camila, there’s so much going on
that you both have to deal with.” Normani paused for a moment,
a sudden realisation coming to her. “Speak of things you have to
deal with,” Normani started just remembering something. “How
did Camila’s deposition go yesterday?” “They had to postpone it,”
Lauren informed her before taking another swig of her drink. “She
can’t exactly answer questions or give evidence when she can’t
speak so they’ve had to set another date for it in a couple of
weeks’ time.” Lauren continued. “I mean, I guess it sucks for the
driver because he’ll have to wait longer now for the trial but, it’s
his fault that Camila is like this so I have a hard time feeling sorry
for him.” She admitted. “Me too,” Normani agreed as the doorbell
rang. Lauren and Normani shared a look before the latter hopped
off the kitchen counter and followed the brunette to answer the
door. Camila, Ally and Dinah stood on the other side as Lauren
opened it and the three of them entered the house, each girl
hugging one another warmly in greeting. Camila was the last to
approach Lauren and pulled her quickly in to a deep kiss, sucking
all the air out of her girlfriends’ lungs and making her head spin
dizzily as a result, the effect that she had on the taller girl
remarkable. Lauren raised her eyebrows in question as they
parted, exhaling loudly as she tried to catch her breath and
smiling brightly when she saw the grin on Camila’s face. “Hi,”
Camila said, evident amused that she was able to have this effect
on Lauren. The bruising around her right eye was now more a mix
of green and yellow instead of the deep purple it had been
initially, the bright red of the skin around the sutures in Camila’s
right temple now settled. “Hi,” Lauren returned smiling as she
pulled Camila back in for another kiss, her arms wrapping around
her girlfriends waist, the smaller girls finding their way up around
Lauren’s neck as their tongues met in the now familiar way.
“Yeah, yeah,” Dinah said after having cleared her throat, the three
other girls having been forced to watch the interaction for a few
uncomfortable minutes in silence. “Everyone’s happy to be alive. I
can see that. You’re celebrating, good for you.” She joked.
“However, can we please get this movie marathon started?” she
 asked, holding up a few DVD’s and a bag of snacks which she’d
bought. Normani laughed as she met Lauren’s green eyes and
Camila traced her thumb over her own lips smiling happily. “Or
would you rather that we left you two alone so that you can, I
don’t know, celebrate life together for the first time?” Ally asked
and Camila and Lauren exchanged a quick glance, the smaller girl
turning to look over her girlfriend’s shoulder for a moment
avoiding the scrutiny of their friends. “Oh my God, what was
that?” Dinah asked as Camila turned back to face them. “You’ve
totally already done it haven’t you?” “No,” Lauren said
unconvincingly. “When would we have been able to?” “The
Winter Formal!” Normani said in realisation. “Holy shit, you totally
did something that night, didn’t you? You sneaky little lesbians!
Why didn’t you tell us?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 7/10 Camila pushed up on to her tiptoes
and appeared to whisper something in to Lauren’s ear causing the
taller girl to laugh and Camila’s smile to grow exponentially as a
result. “What did you just say?” Ally asked with interest. “Are you
two like…you know? Have things progressed between you?”
“Mila,” Dinah complained. “Itold you the first time me and
Siope…you know?” she said. “This is not acceptable behaviour for
a best friend.” “Same,” Ally and Normani said in unison to Lauren.
“We want details. It’s only fair.” Ally expressed. Camila appeared
to whisper in Lauren’s ear again and Lauren hit her playfully on
the arm laughing as she observed her friends curious faces. “What
are you two whispering about? Jesus, would you tell us?” Dinah
said. “This is torture. Camren shippers like me want to know what
happened.” she finished and Lauren laughed even harder at the
other girls’ frustration. “She can’t talk,” Lauren laughed amused.
“Camila’s not even saying anything to me. She’s winding you up.”
She confessed to Dinah. “Mila!” Dinah protested turning to her
friend who had a massive smirk on her face, evidently
entertained. “What has gotten in to you?” she asked laughing as
Camila shrugged in response. “You aren’t supposed to mess with
me,” she complained. “That is not how this friendship works, you
know that.” “Before,” Camila said clearly and Dinah looked at her
confused. “Before what?” she asked. “What does that even
mean? Mila…” she said, watching as Camila made a move to go in
to the kitchen, pulling Lauren behind her, their hands joined as
always. “I hate it when your speech turns to crap,” Dinah called
after her as she, Ally and Normani followed them. “You’re so
goddamn cryptic. It’s infuriating.” “Sorry,” Camila apologised
sincerely, helping herself to a sip of Lauren’s soda which was still
sitting on the kitchen counter and turning to face her friend. “Hey
guys, help me take all this stuff to the living room would you?”
Normani asked Ally and Dinah, sharing a meaningful look with
Lauren who was watching Camila closely eager to talk to her. “I
want to know what ‘before’ meant?” Dinah said as Normani
picked up some of the food from the counter and Ally took
 responsibility for the bottles of soda. “Like is this going to be a
thing now? Are you going to start messing with me again?” Dinah
asked playfully. “If it is, then game on Cabello,” Dinah said
enjoying the idea of starting up the practical jokes again. “DMac is
ready.” “Dinah,” Normani said purposefully, handing the taller girl
the remainder of the food. “Lauren wants to talk to Camila so can
you let it drop for five minutes to help me set up the first movie?”
she asked and Dinah looked between her two friends with a
curious expression on her face. “Is everything alright?” Dinah
asked concerned and Camila, who’d looked just as worried at
Normani’s words, shrugged and turned to Lauren in search of
answers. “Everything fine,” Lauren replied honestly. “I just want a
little bit of time alone with my girlfriend is that alright?” she
asked. “Sure,” Dinah replied. “Just, keep in mind that if you get up
to anything then you owe me details.” “I seem to remember that
when you first found out that Iliked Camila you asked me not to
share any details with you about stuff like that,” Lauren reminded
her grinning. “That was then,” Dinah said, waving one hand
dismissively and almost dropping the bags she was holding in it.
“Now I’m a shipper and we need to know these things.” Dinah
commented. “It gives me life, so, don’t be stingy alright? Reach
out to the fans.” “Are you done?” Normani asked amused and
Dinah glanced between Lauren and Camila once more before
finally nodding her head and turning to leave the kitchen, Ally
following behind her. “See you guys in a minute,” Normani said
 before she too vacated the room. “Ok,” Camila said turning to
look up at Lauren anxiously. “What’s…gg….gggo… ing….ooon?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 8/10 “It’s nothing bad I promise,” Lauren
said, rubbing the sides of Camila’s arms reassuringly and levelling
her gaze at her dark chocolate eyes. “It’s just…you know what?
Perhaps you should sit down?” Lauren suggested and Camila took
a step back, her disquiet obvious. “No,” she answered simply and
Lauren’s face looked just as worried as her girlfriends. “Alright,”
Lauren said, “I’m just…ok, so I’ll just say it. We always promised
that we’d be honest with each other and just keep in mind that is
what I’m trying to do here…” “Lauren,” Camila said, trying to
prompt her girlfriend to get to the point. “I miss talking to you.”
Lauren said, searching Camila’s face for her response and finding a
puzzled expression there. “Like we used to before the seizure I
mean…” she paused for a moment but still Camila said nothing.
“Oh God, ok, don’t get angry but, lately you’ve been
really…physical…” she trailed off, not knowing how else to say it.
“That’s….bad?” Camila asked an unreadable expression on her
face. “No, not bad,” Lauren told her. “Shit, ok, I’m not explaining
myself very well here.” She acknowledged. “I love you, you know
that Camz,” Lauren reassured her. “You’re stunning and I enjoy
being with you, you know, physically…it’s just…that’s all we seem
to be at the moment and I miss us…what we were like before.”
“I…can’t….speak.” Camila pointed out slowly and Lauren put her
 hands on her shoulders supportively. “I know that,” Lauren
replied. “I know you can’t…” “I….love…you…” Camila told her as if
that answered everything. “I know you do,” Lauren assured her,
“I’m not doubting that and I just…I wanted you to know that if
you’re, I don’t know, compensating for the fact you can’t tell me
as easily with physical affection and…the other night, for example,
then, you don’t have to, not if you aren’t ready yet.” Lauren
rambled and Camila looked confused for a moment as she tried to
keep up with her girlfriend’s speech. “I….miss….you….too…”
Camila forced out painfully slowly and Lauren knew then that
Normani had been right in her assumptions.
“I…ff…ffee…iii…hhaa…” Camila tried to explain but she couldn’t
and that was the problem. “Shit,” she cursed frustrated before
she leant forward and kissed Lauren on the lips, her small hands
snaking behind her girlfriend’s back. “Camz,” Lauren said
breathily, pushing Camila away, her hands finding her girlfriends’
chest. “You don’t have to kiss me to make up for the fact that you
can’t speak.” “I…” Camila started but Lauren put a reassuring
hand against her face and brushed Camila’s cheek with her thumb
soothingly. “I want you,” Lauren told her. “So much…” she
breathed, “but, I don’t want you to think that I need all this
physical contact to keep me interested whilst you can’t express
yourself. Ijust want to be with you….” “Same,” Camila replied
understanding Lauren’s point of view. “I miss our talks,” Lauren
repeated, “and that’s not your fault but it’s the truth and I felt like
 I should be honest with you about it.” Lauren told her. “You are
one of the smartest people I know Camz,” Lauren informed her.
“Your words and your mind…they’re beautiful, and I miss that part
of you sometimes.” Lauren paused for a moment to stroke
Camila’s brow soothingly. “I want you to kiss me because you
want to,” Lauren continued, “and I want you to be with me
physically because you’re ready and you want that too. I don’t
want it to be because you think it’s what I want or I need whilst
you’re recovering. Do you understand?” Camila nodded her head
and buried her face against Lauren’s chest as her girlfriend pulled
her close to her, hugging her tightly. “I…do…….want…………you.”
Camila told Lauren taking her time to formulate and speak the
words slowly. “You do?” Lauren asked her a small smile on her lips
and Camila nodded again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63862318443/trialsand-
tribulationschapter38 9/10 “Yes,” she said, looking up to meet
Lauren’s piercing green eyes for a moment before planting a soft
delicate kiss on her inviting lips. It wasn’t hungry or furious but it
meant something more and Lauren smiled in to it contentedly.
“Tonight.” Camila said meaningfully as they parted. “Tonight?”
Lauren asked surprised. “Like, tonight…tonight?” she queried, her
voice becoming pitchy with the question. “Yes….” Camila told her.
“Camz,” Lauren said shocked but her girlfriends’ direct admission.
“Are you saying what Ithink you’re saying?” “Yes,” Camila
answered simply, stroking the side of Lauren’s arm with her
fingertips. “Ok…” Lauren said; shaking her head slightly from side
to side in disbelief, still not certain she’d heard her properly.
“Ok?” Camila asked her uncertain whether Lauren had agreed or
not. “Ok,” Lauren agreed exhaling deeply, unable to deny Camila
anything. “Yeah, ok Camz.” she agreed, kissing Camila on the lips
tenderly. “Tonight.”
Chapter 39
A/N: I finished it and haven’t been called back in to work yet!
Double win for me….now I need some food as I’ve not eaten all
day. Anyway…enjoy x “Sure?” Camila asked Lauren as she
wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and buried her
face against her chest once again. “I’m sure,” Lauren replied,
tightening her hold on Camila comfortingly and kissing the top of
her head. “I’m just nervous,” she admitted, rubbing Camila’s back
with one of her hands soothingly as she held her. “Same,” Camila
agreed, turning her face up to look at Lauren’s once more, a small
smile on her lips. “I….ww…www…wwanntt…” she started, but
stopped, her speech too difficult to express what she was trying
to say. “What about the others?” Lauren asked, knowing that they
weren’t alone in the house. “Not….invited,” Camila joked and
Lauren laughed in response. “Camz,” Lauren said quietly after a
minute when her chuckles had died down and wanting to clarify
something with her girlfriend. “You’re not doing this for me are
you?” “No,” Camila answered, shaking her head from side to side
gently. “Me.” She told her. “Why now?” Lauren asked her
 interestedly. “Why tonight?” Camila shrugged in response, not
because she didn’t know why she wanted to take that step with
Lauren tonight, but, because, still unable to speak properly, she
couldn’t share those reasons with her girlfriend. Once again
Camila was trapped in her own head and she wished, more than
anything that she could be articulate and vocal, that she could tell
Lauren her thoughts, communicate the fact that she felt safe with
her, that she was so sick of feeling ill and emotionally numb after
her recent hospital stay and the medication that they’d given her
that she’d give anything to feel truly alive again, even if it was just
for a few minutes. That was how Camila felt when she was with
Lauren, like she was finally able to experience the emotions that
had been lost to her since the accident; happiness, contentment,
and love. Before Camila had met Lauren, she’d been like her
impaired left arm had been immediately after the accident, numb
and useless, present but not functioning in its fullest capacity.
Then, they’d had their chance meeting in the hallway on the first
day of school and Camila had started to wake up, just like her arm
had done. She’d begun to engage in things again, she’d started to
find her purpose, become slowly more functional, and she’d felt
those emotions return to her like the uncomfortable sensation of
pins and needles which you experience after a dead arm, small at
first; like the amusement that came with a badly told joke or the
happiness of being included and not ignored because of your
differences. Then, just as the sensation had continued to improve
in Camila’s hand, the area growing bigger with every passing day,
so had the emotions she’d experienced. Thanks to Lauren, they’d
evolved from simple moods such as happiness to allencompassing
love and lust, anger and sorrow. She wasn’t numb any more, she
didn’t just exist. She was alive and it had all been thanks to the girl
whose arms enveloped her now, her saviour and her unknowing
salvation, Lauren. That was part of the reason Camila had been so
physical with Lauren recently, because it helped to be close to
her, to be able to touch her and kiss her. Lauren made Camila
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
tribulationschapter39 2/10 feel again by just being herself,
providing Camila with her quiet reassurances, her steadfast and
unwavering support, her never ending presence, but, when she
kissed Camila, when they were intimate, those feelings grew
exponentially and somehow managed to block out all the
negative thoughts that Camila still possessed at times, all the self-
doubt. Camila needed her now more than she could ever know or
understand because those thoughts were creeping back to her
again, making her question if she had the strength to go through
this all again, to start from the beginning with her speech once
more as she faced the prospect of another long recovery. Aside
from the emotional reasons that she wanted to be with Lauren,
there was the fact that Camila was physically attracted to her
girlfriend. She was entranced by Lauren’s piercing green eyes,
framed perfectly by her dark brows and prominent lashes. Her
long brown hair framed Lauren’s face nicely, contrasting strikingly
with her soft, pale, unblemished skin. Camila thought that she
could look at Lauren all day and never get bored. Observing her
was akin to studying a fine work of art, effortless but rewarding.
Each glance affording you the opportunity to find beauty that
you’d somehow missed on the previous one. Camila appreciated
art when she saw it, art was captivating, and she was captivating.
Lauren was one of the most exquisite pieces of art that Camila
had ever seen and she found it hard to believe she’d ever find
something lovelier or more magnificent in her entire life. Camila
also had a basic need for physical contact, to experience the
comfort that came from her girlfriend’s supportive arms around
her body, the reassurance she felt when Lauren’s hands stroked
her back soothingly or played mindlessly with her hair, or her
fingertips. How just one kiss from Lauren could pacify her in an
instant, driving away all her fears and anxiousness as though they
were a light fog being carried away on a gentle breeze. The
smaller girl wanted to share all of this knowledge and more with
Lauren, but alas, she couldn’t, and so she settled for doing the
only thing that she could. She tightened her hold around Lauren’s
torso and lifted her face to meet Lauren’s inquisitive stare for a
moment before leaning forward slowly and planting a soft, chaste
kiss on her girlfriend’s lips affectionately. “Love,” she said simply,
resting her head back against Lauren’s chest. Lauren smiled at the
word as it rolled of Camila’s tongue and kissed her head lightly
again, pulling her close once more. They’d remained like that for a
while, each lost in their own thoughts, their own reflections,
before they finally made their way in to the living room, Camila
leading Lauren towards the sofa by their entwined hands. Lauren
climbed up on to the soft fabric and tucking her feet beneath her
out of habit before lifting up one of her arms as Camila lowered
herself on to the seat next to her, cuddling close into her
girlfriend’s side as she pulled her legs up and stretched them out
beside her. Lauren’s arm fell to rest across the smaller girls’
shoulder, her fingertips stroking the top of Camila’s arm
reflexively as they turned their attention to the television, where
the DVD was cued and ready to start. “Everything alright?”
Normani asked, holding the remote up at the television prepared
to press play. “Everything is fine,” Lauren reassured her, smiling at
her friend, her fears from earlier allayed and she glanced down at
Camila who was watching her contentedly. “Mila?” Dinah asked
still concerned, despite Lauren’s assurances. “Perfect,” Camila
returned, smiling at her friend. “What you don’t believe me?”
Lauren asked Dinah chuckling in amusement. “I’m just checking,”
Dinah commented laughing. “You can never be too careful.” “So
are we ready to start this movie marathon or what?” Normani
asked, brandishing the remote at the television eagerly. Everyone
nodded their head in unison and for the rest of the day the girls
sat together watching Christmas movies, Camila with a broad grin
on her face the whole time, enjoying the feel good stories, the
 comedic scripts, the cheerful musical numbers. They talked
animatedly throughout the day, discussing their favourite
characters and scenes, their plans and resolutions for the New
Year, their hopes for the future. They ate; first the snacks and
assorted treats they had, then the pizza which they’d ordered
from Dominos’ later on. Dinah and Ally sang along to some of the
songs, Normani danced from her position on the floor and
Lauren’s arm remaining firmly in place around
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
tribulationschapter39 3/10 Camila’s shoulder, never leaving it for
even the briefest moment the whole time they remained together
on the sofa. Finally, it was starting to get late and the girls all
dressed in their pyjamas, ready for a proper slumber party to see
in the New Year. They were on movie number seven, ‘It’s a
Wonderful Life,’ and the atmosphere was quiet, each of them
suffering a massive crash in energy after all the sugar they’d
consumed earlier. Dinah, Ally and Normani were all assembled
together on the floor, hidden partially beneath their sleeping bags
as they watched movie intently, none of them having seen it
before and enjoying the cinematic tale of George Bailey and his
guardian angel Clarence, sent to earth to prevent the
protagonists’ imminent suicide and earn his wings. Lauren knew
that Camila loved this movie so she was surprised when she felt
her girlfriend shift her position on the sofa beside her and stand
up in order to wander over towards the living room door. “Where
 are you going Mila?” Dinah asked, noticing the smaller girl’s
movement. “Are you alright?” “Bathroom,” Camila answered,
pausing in the doorway for a moment and reassuring her friend
she was fine. Dinah turned her attention back to the television
and Lauren watched as Camila lingered in the doorway for a
moment, Camila’s dark eyes meeting her green ones levelly, a
silent invitation hidden in the look they shared. The corner of
Lauren’s mouth turned up in a small smile acknowledging it and
she felt her stomach flutter nervously at the thought of what was
to come, her naivety and inexperience ringing in her ears loudly
despite the knowledge that Camila was in exactly the same
situation. Camila disappeared out the door and Lauren waited a
little while before standing up slowly herself and following after
her. “I’m just getting a drink,” Lauren said quietly in explanation
but the girls were so engrossed in the movie that they either
didn’t hear her or didn’t care enough to listen, so she left and
made her way upstairs, her stomach churning horribly with each
step that she took. Lauren paused for a moment at the top of the
flight, her hand resting on the bannister as she tried to compose
herself. She’d wanted this moment to come for so long, had
dreamt about what it would be like to finally be completely with
Camila physically, the way they were together emotionally.
Lauren felt her hands shake and she didn’t know whether it was
because of nerves or excitement, but, she had the sense to think
that it was more than likely a paradoxical combination of the two.
 Half of Lauren wanted to leap in to this head first, to ride the
wave and just see where it took her, but, the other half wanted to
turn around and run away, scared that a change in their physical
relationship would alter them as a couple, potentially for the
worse, and that they could lose what they already shared,
something she treasured, something rare and priceless. Lauren
inhaled deeply, steeling herself as she crossed the landing and
stepped in to her room. She found Camila sitting on the corner of
the bed, waiting for her, looking equally as anxious, her brow
furrowed with anxiety. Lauren pushed the door closed behind her
and turned to lock it, ensuring that they were given complete
privacy this time around and preventing any unwanted visitors
interrupting. She crossed over to the bed and sat beside Camila,
reaching over to take her girlfriends hand in her own and stroked
the base of her thumb reassuringly. “Are you certain about this?”
Lauren asked Camila, meeting her chocolate eyes and seeing
some uncertainty there, hidden deep within them. Camila
swallowed hard and nodded her head, confirming that she was
ready. She was ready to give herself to Lauren like she’d never
done to anyone else before, to share an intimate part of herself
with her girlfriend and only her, to be completely vulnerable and
exposed in every way possible. “Yes,” Camila said, forcing not only
the word out of her mouth, but trying to lace it with a confidence
that Lauren was sure her girlfriend didn’t feel. “I’m not sure what
to do,” Lauren admitted, not wanting to disappoint Camila, but,
 the smaller girl smiled at her honesty unperturbed. “Same,” she
said reaching a hand up to stroke the side of Lauren’s face
soothingly and brushing a loose strand of dark hair out of her
girlfriends’ eyes.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
tribulationschapter39 4/10 “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Lauren
noted, averting her gaze from Camila’s who was studying her face
closely. Camila frowned a little in response to Lauren’s words but
said nothing, instead moving her hand down from where is was
still stroking her girlfriend’s cheek to trace her lips tenderly. “Ok,”
Camila said finally, her eyes following her thumb as it moved
backwards and forwards across Lauren’s mouth rhythmically.
“Camz,” Lauren said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, her
hot breath making contact with Camila’s hand as she spoke.
“What if it’s bad?” Lauren asked, evidently apprehensive. Camila
shook her head from side to side in response to Lauren’s
question, her hand still tracing Lauren’s lips, her eyes studying her
girlfriends’ mouth like it provided the source of everything she
ever needed or wanted in her life. “Camz,” Lauren breathed again,
placing her free hand on Camila’s cheek, trying to get the smaller
girls attention. “Please say something…” Camila lifted her eyes to
meet Lauren’s at last and she fixed them there firmly as she
remained quiet for a moment, her eyes burning into Lauren’s and
giving her the strange notion that Camila could see right through
her, that she was reading each and every one of her private
 thoughts like they’d been spilled out onto the page of a book for
easy inspection. “I love you,” Camila eventually said, her words
clear and concise. “I…can…wait.” She added, more disjointedly,
her thumb moving up to stroke Lauren’s cheek again. “I love you
too,” Lauren reciprocated truthfully, “and I want to be with you
Camz. I don’t want to wait. Ijust…” Camila didn’t wait to hear the
rest of Lauren’s words, the admission that she didn’t want to wait
enough for the smaller girl who silenced her quickly by gently
pushing her lips against her girlfriends’, her hand moving round to
the back of Lauren’s neck in order to pull them closer together.
After a minute, Camila tilted her head back a bit to study Lauren,
her eyes searching for a sign, to help her understand whether
Lauren wanted her to stop. Lauren sighed heavily and Camila
inched her face back towards her girlfriends’, waiting patiently,
her eyes fixed on Lauren’s lips, desperate to feel them against her
own again. She felt Lauren’s hand move from around her own and
it reached up to trace the scar above Camila’s left eye, her own
green orbs closing for a moment as she stroked the imperfection
lightly. Lauren swallowed hard again and opened her eyes to find
the depths of Camila’s observing her with interest, still waiting,
still patient. “Jesus…” Lauren breathed, resting her forehead
against Camila’s for a moment, the hand that had been tracing
her girlfriend’s scar now moving around to rest on the back of
Camila’s head. “Ok,” Camila said compassionately, reaching her
hand up and taking Lauren’s, removing it from her occiput and
 squeezing it reassuringly. “Ok,” she repeated in understanding
and Lauren moved her head back to look at her girlfriend closely,
admiring her beauty, her kind nature, her intellect, her. As she
studied Camila, really studied her, she saw the fading bruise
around her right eye, the laceration on the side of her head, the
stitches there, and she remembered that day she’d been admitted
to the hospital after her seizure. She remembered how small
she’d seemed in the bed; how everything that makes her the
person she is had been eradicated by the sedation, suppressed
whilst she silently slumbered. Lauren remembered the fear she’d
felt on hearing the news of Camila’s condition, the way that she’d
felt like a gaping whole had been punched into her chest and the
inexplicable sense of loneliness that had accompanied it. More
than anything, Lauren remembered how much she’d longed to
kiss Camila’s lips; how she’d craved that comfort when she’d been
terrified that she might lose her, how she’d been more scared
then she’d ever felt in her entire life before. Camila gave Lauren a
small smile and Lauren leant forward and kissed her, the idea that
something could happen to her girlfriend, that she’d once again
be separated from her lips, from her, prompting her in to action.
Lauren felt Camila’s hand move up her side, grazing it delicately as
her other hand released Lauren’s and reached up to cup the side
of her girlfriends’ face as her tongue probed adeptly at the
opening to Lauren’s mouth.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter39 5/10 Lauren accepted it gratefully; eager to
deepen the kiss further, sucking on Camila’s tongue, their mouths
moving together in unison. Camila felt Lauren moan as she
playfully bit her lip and she took the opportunity to push her
down on to the bed, lifting her hips so that she was straddling
Lauren’s, her weight sinking them further in to the mattress
beneath them as she bought their lips back together hungrily, her
right hand pinning Lauren’s left beside her head on the bed.
Camila moved her mouth down to trail soft kisses along Lauren’s
jaw line and down her neck, the taller girl arching her head back in
response as she did so, enjoying the feel of Camila’s hot breath
against her skin. She moved her own hand to push up the hem of
Camila’s pyjama top, sliding her palm up against Camila’s right
side and stopping as it came to hover over her girlfriends’ exposed
breast. Camila’s breath hitched in her throat at Lauren’s touch
and she stopped trailing kisses to turn her head and look at
Lauren, her eyes wide, her pupils dilated. “Camz,” Lauren
managed to expel as Camila moved one of her hands up to cover
Lauren’s where it rested. She started to squeeze it firmly, moving
Lauren’s hand beneath her own so that it was massaging her
breast, her nipples growing hard in response to the stimulation.
Camila pressed her mouth against Lauren’s again, her tongue
darting in to it enthusiastically, deepening the kiss impatiently as
her hand groped at Lauren’s top, moving beneath it to caress the
taut muscles of her abdomen before making a path up to her
 girlfriends’ breast and mirroring the gesture there, massaging it
delicately. Lauren arched her back in pleasure, her whole body
coming alive, every nerve ending on fire at Camila’s touch. With
her right hand, Camila moved Lauren’s left, which she still held up
by her head, downwards, placing it on her buttock, prompting her
girlfriend to squeeze it before she took control of the limb back
herself and tugged Camila’s hips closer to her. Lauren moaned
into Camila’ mouth as she moved her hand down to cup her
buttock, slipping beneath the thin fabric of her pyjama shorts and
sliding forward to graze her hip, making Lauren’s centre throb
agreeably and the space between her legs dampen. Lauren sat up
slightly as Camila moved her head back to separate their lips,
keeping the contact between them, refusing to let Camila break it.
The taller girl shifted her weight on the bed, turning Camila over
so that she was now beneath her, their tongues still dancing
together. After a minute, Lauren did part their mouths, her eyes
studying Camila’s closely as she moved the hand from the ample
flesh of Camila’s rear to slowly push up her tshirt and expose her
stomach. Lauren leant forward to kiss it softly, trailing from
Camila’s belly button down to the top of her trousers, her hand
still massaging her girlfriends’ breast all the while. Camila pushed
her body up against Lauren’s mouth as the taller girl began to
trace kisses back up Camila’s abdomen, moving the tshirt higher
and higher until she’d exposed the delicate bottom curves of her
girlfriends’ breasts. Lauren lifted her gaze to look at Camila, a
 silent question in her eyes and the smaller girl sat up, allowing
Lauren to pull the obstructive item up and over her head,
throwing it to the floor beside the bed. Camila’s hands fumbled at
the bottom of Lauren’s top, her left struggling to grasp the
material firmly due to its poor coordination and Lauren reached
down with her free hand to assist her girlfriend, carefully pulling it
up and over her head, Lauren quickly flicking it away to lie on the
floor besides Camila’s. They looked at each other for a moment,
studying one another’s seminaked form, Camila resting back on
her elbows and Lauren sat on top of her waist. “You’re beautiful,”
Lauren gasped, tracing the scar down the middle of Camila’s chest
with her fingertip, the angry line depicting where it had been
cracked open following her accident, reminding her that someone
else had once held her girlfriends heart in their hands, had kept it
safe and strong for her. “You’re so beautiful Camz,” Lauren
breathed as she leant back down and bought their lips together
again, her chest resting against Camila’s, her hand stroking the
smaller girls’ cheek daintily. “Lauren,” Camila exhaled as her
girlfriend trailed her lips across her jaw and began to suck lightly
at the spot on her neck, just below her ear. Camila tilted her head,
enjoying the sensation, the space between her legs growing wet
with heat as one of Lauren’s hands groped down to the elastic of
her trousers and pulled them lightly, Camila lifting her hips off the
bed to allow her to remove them properly, Lauren’s shifting her
weight, her mouth placing soft kisses down to the base of
 Camila’s neck as she kicked the pyjama bottoms away from her
when they reached her ankles Lauren gently ran her tongue down
Camila’s soft skin, tasting the salt from her sweat as it moved
along the scar in the centre of her chest and down to her
abdomen where she
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
tribulationschapter39 6/10 lightly kissed the now taut muscles of
her girlfriend’s abs. Camila’s hands moved round to cup Lauren’s
buttocks for a moment before fiddling with the elastic of her
shorts and pulling them down, her girlfriend reaching down to
help her extricate her limbs from inside them quickly. “Camz,”
Lauren panted, trying to catch her breath, admiring Camila’s
naked form unashamedly, her hand caressing her girlfriend’s brow
delicately. “Are you really sure about this?” Lauren asked wanting
clarification before they went any further, her centre throbbing
painfully with desire. “It’s not too late to stop.” Camila sat up in
response to Lauren’s question and bought their lips back
together, deepening it quickly, leaving no doubt in Lauren’s mind
that this was exactly what she wanted. She put her hand behind
Lauren’s neck and pulled her back down on top of her as she lay
back on the bed, her other hand resting on the small of Lauren’s
back, grazing the skin there with her fingertips amorously. Lauren
took Camila’s breast in her hand again, kneading it gratifyingly
whilst her other hand moved down to sit on the smaller girls’ hip
before sweeping sideways to lightly brush over the coarse hair in
 the centre of her girlfriend’s pelvis. Camila arched her hips with
pleasure and moaned against Lauren’s mouth as her own hand
lowered to copy the manoeuvre, eliciting the same response from
the girl sat on top of her. “Shit,” Lauren cursed turning her head
away from Camila’s a moment, feeling herself shudder with
pleasure at Camila’s touch. She looked back at Camila who was
watching her closely, hesitant, uncertain how to progress. Lauren
lowered her hand further down, feeling the damp between
Camila’s legs with her hand. “Laur…” Camila started, her name
getting caught in her throat, from pleasure or her speech, Lauren
wasn’t sure and to be honest, she didn’t much care, the low raspy
tone of Camila’s voice making it sound sexy and desirable as it
escaped her lips. “I don’t want to hurt you,” Lauren panted again,
trying to catch her breath, feeling like she’d just run a marathon,
her chest was heaving so furiously. “Won’t,” Camila managed and
Lauren leant down to kiss her again as she carefully pushed her
fingers into the dampness, losing them inside her girlfriend who
bucked in response. “Are you ok?” Lauren asked, parting their
mouths for a moment and lifting her eyes to look at Camila
worriedly. Camila nodded her head, reaching up to pull Lauren’s
lips back against her own, sucking on her tongue once again.
Lauren felt Camila’s right hand creep lower and probe at the
wetness between her legs and she held her breath as they rubbed
there, Lauren, lifting her head and twisting it in order to stop
herself from cursing, the pleasure it elicited palpable. Finally,
 Camila probed a little deeper and she began to move her fingers
back and forth, making them disappear momentarily before
resurfacing again, Lauren biting her own lip at the sensation. She
tried to mimic Camila’s movement with her own hand, attempting
to match her speed as Camila thrust her hips forward in time. “I
love you,” Lauren moaned, her eyes remaining locked on Camila
as the pair of them picked up speed, Lauren’s free hand moving
up to rub Camila’s breast again, Camila’s free one pulling on the
small of her girlfriends’ back, driving them together with as much
strength as she could muster. “Same,” Camila puffed; her eyes’
never leaving Lauren’s, determined to portray the emotion she
felt and her words couldn’t express. “I love you so much Camz,”
Lauren gasped as she felt her body begin to tremble and her toes
curl up beneath her, every muscle growing taut for an instant
before finally she relaxed, shuddering with a pleasure that she’d
never felt before, that surpassed the last time they’d been
together infinitely. She felt Camila tighten around her fingers; her
girlfriend’s body tense beneath her, her hips push up into her
pelvis one final time before finally she relaxed too. Lauren
collapsed down on to the bed beside her on her front, her hand
reaching up to stroke Camila’s brow as she turned her head to
meet her green eyes. “Did I hurt you?” Lauren asked, playing with
Camila’s hair gently, evident concern in her voice.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
tribulationschapter39 7/10 “No,” Camila breathed, turning over
 on to her side slightly to face Lauren, her chest rising and falling
rapidly as her lungs tried to suck in huge gulps of oxygen. “Was it
ok?” Lauren asked and Camila smiled so brightly that Lauren
thought her chest was going to explode from the happiness on
her face at the sight. She didn’t say anything but, quickly leant
forward and kissed Lauren on the lips, wordlessly providing her
with every reassurance that she could possibly need. Lauren
draped an arm around Camila’s back, pulling her close to her,
feeling the heat of her skin against her own, the damp from her
sweat. “I love you,” Camila said quietly once they’d parted, the
words coming out with difficulty. “Yyy….yy…” “Shh,” Lauren
soothed, stroking Camila’s cheek with her thumb. “You don’t have
to say anything…I know.” The two of them remained like that on
the bed, side by side, Lauren’s arm protectively draped around
Camila as they hugged; exchanging soft affectionate kisses as they
tried to catch their breath. Finally, after about fifteen minutes,
they realised that the rest of the girls were downstairs, that they’d
been so lost in each other, in the moment, that they’d completely
forgotten they weren’t alone in the house. They picked up their
pyjamas from where they’d fallen on the floor and got dressed,
Lauren walking over to the door and unlocking it, twisting the
handle and pulling it open as Camila walked over to meet her. She
paused on the threshold, taking Lauren’s hand in her own and
entwining their fingers, a contented smile on her face as she
pushed up on to her tip toes and kissed her firmly on the lips, her
other hand running through Lauren’s hair. Lauren smiled in to the
kiss, the grin remaining firmly in place as they parted and Camila
tugged on her arm, leading her through the door and down the
stairs back in to the living room to join the others who were still
watching the movie, which was coming to the end, intently.
Lauren sat back on the sofa, pulling Camila down and in to her
side, adopting the posture they’d held throughout the day. “Did
you get me a soda?” Dinah asked, turning her head to look at
Lauren, evidently not realising how long she’d actually been
missing or kindly deciding not to allude to it. “Get your own soda,”
Lauren replied laughing, wrapping her arms around Camila tightly,
and refusing to let her go. “It’s your house,” Dinah complained
and Lauren shrugged, forcing her to fend for herself. Dinah
groaned as she pushed herself up on to her elbows and climbed
out of her sleeping bag to wander in to the kitchen and retrieve
the desired beverage. “That movie was amazing,” Normani
commented, rolling over in her sleeping bag to look at Camila and
Lauren. “Favourite,” Camila agreed smiling happily, her hand
rubbing the back of Lauren’s forearm lightly as it rested across her
chest. “I think it’s definitely one of my top five Christmas movies,”
Ally noted, “I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before.” “Hey guys,
it’s almost New Year,” Dinah observed as she reentered the room,
swigging from a can of Coke. The rest of the girls looked at the
clock on the DVD player and noted the time. “Two minutes to go,”
Ally confirmed. “Here’s hoping next year is a good one.” She said.
 “Can’t…be…worse…” Camila responded, making a slight face and
Lauren kissed her on the cheek in understanding. “No more
hospital admissions for you over the next three hundred and sixty
five days please,” Lauren told her sternly, hugging Camila tighter.
“Can’t…promise,” Camila answered her, tilting her head to kiss
Lauren. “No you have to wait until midnight,” Normani said
groaning. “Otherwise it’s bad luck.” “I’ve never heard of that
before,” Dinah replied sitting down on the floor in the middle of
the room. “Me neither,” Ally agreed. “Ithink you’re making it up.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/63956213455/trialsand-
tribulationschapter39 8/10 “Fine, maybe I am,” Normani
conceded, “but we’re almost there. Can’t you wait one minute?”
“No I don’t think so,” Lauren said, kissing Camila again, because
she was there, they were together and they were happy. “Eurgh,”
Dinah joked feigning disgust and taking another sip of her drink.
“Guys, look!” Normani said pointing at the clock on the DVD
player which showed they were fast approaching the New Year.
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” They all counted down together
excitedly, the three girls on the floor hugging each other warmly
as they finally reached January the first and wished each other a
happy New Year. Lauren turned to Camila and kissed her,
modestly, purely, her hand stroking the hair at her girlfriends’
brow tenderly. “Happy New Year Camz,” Lauren told her smiling
happily. “Here’s to another three hundred and sixty five days of
us.” She added, kissing her softly again and she felt Camila smile
 against her lips as she muttered, “Same.” When they separated,
Lauren and Camila stood up to hug the others, wishing them all a
happy New Year, celebrating the prospect of becoming even
closer friends and the future. “Ok,” Dinah said seriously after
she’d hugged Lauren, her arms still around the brunette’s neck.
“Are we going to talk about the fact that you and Camila just had
sex or what?” she asked and Lauren looked at Camila who was
laughing, her shoulders shaking furiously in her amusement at the
expression on her girlfriends’ face. “Or what,” Lauren answered
grinning broadly. “It’s always, or what Dinah,” she finished and
Dinah hit her playfully on the arm before pulling her into a
massive hug, Ally and Normani joining in and crushing them both
in their arms. Camila watched on pleased for a moment, picking
up her phone to take a picture before finally throwing her own
arms into the equation and joining the impromptu group hug
voluntarily, happier than she’d been in a long time. For once, she
felt hopeful for the future, she looked forward to each new day
and she smiled, tears stinging her eyes because it was all down to
the people in the room with her now. Four amazing girls, who had
made Camila, feel like she belonged once again. One girl
particularly, Lauren, giving her back her purpose, her humanity,
her feelings, her lust and love for life. She was her rescuer, her
saviour, her love. Always.
Chapter 40
 “Smile!” Lauren heard someone call loudly, her consciousness
returning to her as she woke with a start. She was aware of the
flash of a bright light through the thin, sensitive skin of her closed
eyelids and amused giggling in the near vicinity to where she
slept. “Wake up Lo,” she heard someone say firmly having
obviously noted that she was gradually starting to stir. Lauren’s
eyes felt heavy with sleep and she lifted up a hand to rub at them
for a moment in an attempt to make the concept of opening them
more appealing. “Lo…” someone practically sung; their voice
cheerful and melodic. Lauren forced her eyes open, squinting for
an instant as they adjusted to the light in the room and groaned
as she spied Dinah, Normani and Ally all towering above her.
“God,” she groaned, closing her eyes briefly and placing a hand
over them as though attempting to hide. “What the fuck guys?”
she asked evidently irritated by the somewhat rude awakening.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” Dinah laughed, lifting up the iPhone in
her hand and snapping a picture of Lauren where she lazed, still
enveloped in her sleeping bag on the living room floor. “It’s a New
Year remember? Where’s your energy and enthusiasm for life?”
“Why are you waking me up so early?” Lauren grumbled sleepily,
still not amused that she’d been disturbed. “Couldn’t you just let
me sleep?” Lauren propped herself up on her elbows to get a
better look at her friends and felt a heavy weight across her
stomach. She glanced down and found Camila still lying sound
asleep beside her on the floor, her girlfriend’s head resting on her
stomach, her right arm draped across her legs messily. Camila was
swathed in her own sleeping bag, her dark curls spread out across
the floor, her face turned in to Lauren’s body. “Were you taking a
picture of us?” Lauren asked, suddenly realising what the flash of
light she’d seen through her closed eyes had been. “You two are
so cute,” Normani informed her cryptically, avoiding answering
the question directly. “That’s not an answer,” Lauren replied,
pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes for a second
as she tried to wake herself up fully. “Fine we were taking
pictures,” Dina admitted, “but you both look adorable in them,
don’t…” “Wait, pictures?” Lauren asked, her brain finally catching
up to the taller girls words. “Plural?” she questioned needing
some clarity. “Maybe…” Ally confessed smirking at Lauren who
did not look amused at the revelation. “Thanks guys,” she
commented drily, pushing herself up into sitting further and
resting her shoulders against the couch for support. “What the
hell is the time anyway?” she inquired certain that it could be no
later than six in the morning.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 2/10 “It’s eleven,” Normani told her,
laughing when she observed the look on Lauren’s face in response
to this information. “Now can you see why we woke you?” Ally
asked. “We’re all starving…” “Then have some breakfast,” Lauren
griped. “Jesus Christ, you guys have been here enough to know
where everything is by now. Just helps yourselves.” “Wow, you
 are not a morning person Lo,” Normani said amused at her
friends’ irritation. “Well can you blame me?” she asked running a
hand through her hair frustrated. “I’m tired and we didn’t get to
sleep until three o’clock this morning.” “You’d think that she’d be
happy considering she finally got laid last night,” Ally said quietly
to the others, but not enough that Lauren couldn’t hear her. “Oh
my God,” Lauren muttered, rolling her eyes. “Would you guys just
let it go already? How do you even know that we had sex?”
“Really?” Dinah asked incredulous at Lauren’s question. “You guys
weren’t exactly subtle about it.” She informed her. “You
disappeared, together, for the best part of the movie Lauren.
What other conclusions were we supposed to draw from that?”
“Also, you owe us details,” Ally informed her seriously. “You gave
us absolutely nothing last night and I remember telling you
everything about what happened with me and Troy.” “You’re all
such massive perverts and it’s not like I asked you for them
anyway,” Lauren protested to Ally before glancing down at Camila
who remained profoundly asleep in her lap. “How the hell is Camz
sleeping through all this?” she asked with a frown on her face at
the sight of her girlfriends’ slumbering form. “It’s probably the
sleeping pills she took,” Dinah replied shrugging, “they can knock
her out sometimes.” “She didn’t take any,” Lauren said refuting
Dinah’s theory and stroking the soft hair at Camila’s brow with her
fingertips lightly. “No she must have done,” Dinah argued taking a
step towards where the two of them lay. “I definitely did not hear
 her screaming the place down last night and the only way that
would’ve been even remotely possible is because she took
something.” “She still has the nightmares even when she’s taken
the sleeping pills,” Lauren shared with Dinah knowingly, having
discussed it with Camila before. “Maybe she was tired from all the
sex?” Normani suggested and Lauren glared at her meaningfully,
causing her friend to laugh in response. “This happened the last
time you two slept together as well didn’t it?” Dinah asked as she
recalled the morning after the winter formal dance. “We didn’t
sleep together then…” Lauren started to deny but Dinah put up
her hand to stop her. “Slept in the same place then,” she clarified.
“I guess so,” Lauren replied, her tone less irate. “I don’t remember
her waking up then. At least she didn’t disturb me if she did.” “She
would have disturbed you. That’s my point.” Dinah responded
smiling at the knowledge. “That’s so adorable,” she said turning to
look at the others and sharing what she knew with them. “The
only time Camila doesn’t have nightmares is when she’s with
Lauren. Camren are so perfect together.” “Oh geez,” Lauren
sighed, resting her head back against the cushion of the sofa.
“Aww…that is adorable,” Ally agreed enjoying Lauren’s
exasperation. “Ok guys,” Normani said seemingly realising that
they’d probably messed with their friend enough. “Let’s just wake
Camila up so we can have some breakfast. I’m literally starving
right now.” “Thank you,” Lauren acknowledged lifting her head
back up to look at her friends’ and appreciating Normani’s
 attempt to change the subject.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 3/10 “Yo, Mila wake up!” Dinah called
loudly, trying to rouse her best friend and following Normani
suggestion. “Camz,” Lauren said, stroking her girlfriend’s brow
again when she didn’t stir. “Mila!” Dinah shouted as she took
another step closer to her friend. “Wake up!” She paused for a
minute and added purposefully. “We’ve got food.” Still there was
no response. “Camz wake up,” Lauren said, shaking her girlfriend
lightly on the shoulders concerned. “Camz,” she tried again when
the smaller girl still didn’t budge. “Shit is she still breathing?”
Normani asked worriedly and Lauren felt herself panic as she
shook her girlfriend again, this time harder. Lauren bent lower to
check Camila’s respiration hurriedly. “Camz,” she said again,
lowering her face in front of her girlfriends’ and waiting for a
moment, studying her closely. She felt Camila’s hot breath against
her skin and exhaled heavily in relief, the steady rise and fall of
the smaller girls’ chest now more obvious as Lauren watched her.
“Why the hell would you say something like that?” Lauren
complained to Normani, fear still evident in her voice. “Sorry,”
Normani apologised. “Ijust…she’s really out cold.” “Yeah, she’s
really asleep,” Ally commented, her eyes growing wide as how
difficult it was for them to wake her. “I’ve got an idea,” Dinah
said, reaching down to the nearby coffee table and picking up a
glass of cold water which she’d gotten from the kitchen earlier.
 “Dinah…” Lauren began to object but she was cut off when the
other girl emptied the contents of the glass over both Camila and
herself. “Shit!” Camila cursed jerking awake and sitting up quickly,
the cold temperature of the water shocking her in to a state of full
alertness. “Jesus Dinah, what the fuck was that for?” she
complained turning to face her friend who was still standing over
her with the incriminating glass in her hand. “I thought you’d
died,” Dinah informed her with an amused expression on her face
at the sight of a drenched looking Camila and the unexpected
fluidity of her speech. “Why the fuck would you think that?”
Camila asked her stunned. “Jesus, I was fucking sleeping.” “Umm,
Camila…” Normani started, also noticing her speech was much
better when compared to last night. “What?” she asked evidently
pissed as she ran a hand through her now damp hair. “Your
speech.” Normani stated simply, pointing at Camila with her index
finger significantly. “What about it?” Camila asked, not
understanding, still feeling slightly disorientated from the deep
sleep she’d just been wrenched out of. “It’s like…actual speech.”
Normani informed her and Camila furrowed her brow, still not
quite grasping what was happening. “What?” she asked confused
as she manoeuvred herself out of the sleeping bag and on to her
feet before her three friends. “You can speak,” Ally told her as
Lauren too stood up, pausing beside her girlfriend and placing a
hand on her shoulder. “Of course I can speak,” Camila replied,
seemingly muddled. “Camz,” Lauren said, drawing Camila’s
attention to her. “You couldn’t speak yesterday. Remember?” she
asked just as puzzled as the rest of the girls at this sudden and
unexpected change. “Are you having a seizure?” Dinah asked her,
anxiously. “No,” Camila answered. “Do Ilook like I’m having a
seizure?” she asked sarcastically.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 4/10 “A little,” Dinah commented, looking
around at the rest of the girls who were studying Camila closely.
“What’s your name?” Normani asked Camila who raised her
eyebrow in disbelief at the question. “Karla Camila Cabello
Estrabao,” Camila answered quickly. Normani and Ally both
looked to Dinah who nodded her head to inform them that she
was correct. “Your first name is Karla?” Lauren said surprised.
“Yes,” Camila answered. “You knew that.” “No I didn’t.” Lauren
told her laughing, “You never told me before.” “It’s in all my
medical and official school records,” Camila informed her. “I’m
not your doctor though,” Lauren replied, frowning slightly,
recalling how Camila had thought the same thing after the first
seizure she’d ever had and wondering whether she believed it to
be true now. “Well duh,” Camila responded lightly. “I know that
Lauren,” she continued, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend’s
waist. “I’m just saying that it would have been on my wristband at
the hospital,” Camila told her, raising an eyebrow, apparently
completely lost by this conversation. “Where do you think you are
right now?” Dinah asked uncertainly, still not believing her to be
 completely lucid. “We’re at Lauren’s house,” Camila said
appropriately. “We all stayed here for New Year last night,” she
went on, turning to Lauren and giving her a pointed look. “We had
amazing sex, remember?” “Oh,” Lauren replied blushing profusely
at Camila’s bluntness, “I remember.” “Ok, so…not a seizure then,”
Dinah noted glancing at the others. “Why does everyone call you
Camila?” Ally asked interestedly, going back to the previous point.
“Don’t get her started,” Dinah interceded before Camila could
reply. “She doesn’t like her first name.” “Why?” Normani asked
intrigued. “I said don’t get her started.” Dinah repeated laughing.
“We’ll never hear the end of it, especially now that she can talk
again.” “Ok, are you all drunk?” Camila asked still bewildered by
everything going on around her. “Are you?” Dinah countered.
“Seriously, what the fuck is going on?” Camila asked swearing and
turning to look at Lauren. “I’m so confused right now.” “I think
that makes all of us,” Lauren responded as she turned to place
both her arms around Camila’s neck and pulled her close, kissing
her lightly on the lips. “We’re all just happy that your speech is
back, that’s all.” “Even if it was only a few hours ago that it was
crap,” Dinah remarked before waving her hand dismissively. “It’s
not a problem though,” she continued. “Weird stuff like this
happens all the time.” “You’re giving me a headache,” Camila
groaned, resting her head against Lauren’s shoulder. “Are you
sure you didn’t wake up with one?” Ally asked. “You’re acting a
little weird.” “You’re acting weird!” Camila protested, mumbling
 against Lauren’s chest before lifting her head back up. “I was
sleeping until a few minutes ago.” “Ok, I think what we’ve all
learnt from this is to not wake Camren up,” Dinah commented.
“Neither of them are morning people.” “Jesus Dinah,” Camila
moaned. “Please….”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 5/10 “I’m just finding it hard to believe
something isn’t up with you,” Dinah interceded. “One minute your
speech is crap and the next it’s back to the way it was preseizure,
just like that?” “It happens all the time after I’ve slept well,”
Camila reminded her exasperated. “Tiredness is normally what
makes my speech crap to begin with Dinah, so it makes sense that
a good night’s sleep would improve it.” “Huh,” Dinah replied
thoughtfully. “I’d forgotten that. Sorry.” She apologised. “Alright,”
Normani said, starting to get a headache herself at the way the
conversation was going round in circles. “Let’s just get some
breakfast.” She advised. “I’m still starving here.” “Agreed,” Lauren
said, tightening her hold around Camila and hugging her closely.
“You guys go and get started so I can please talk to my girlfriend
alone.” “Why do you get to talk to her?” Dinah asked Lauren
teasingly, as the other two left the room and headed in to the
kitchen. “She owes me details of last night just as much as you
owe those two.” “Dinah!” Lauren and Camila complained in
unison. “Ok geez,” Dinah said holding both her hands up in front
of her. “I’ll give you guys five minutes,” she told them. “If you’re
not in the kitchen after that I’m coming back to look for you and I
don’t want to find you in a repeat performance of last night.” She
joked. “Then don’t come looking for us.” Camila told her playfully
and Lauren quirked her head up with interest at the words. “Not
unless you want a visual representation of what happened
between us permanently etched in your memory.” “Oh God,”
Dinah said, scrunching up her face at the thought. “Alright, I’m out
on the detail front. Please, I beg you. Don’t tell me about it.”
“Done,” Camila answered and Dinah laughed, causing her friend
to smile in return. “Seriously don’t be too long though or I’ll eat
your pancakes,” Dinah told Camila before she turned to follow
Ally and Normani who had already made their way in to the
kitchen. When they were alone, Camila rested her head against
Lauren’s chest again and groaned audibly. “Can I just go back to
sleep and start today all over again?” Camila asked Lauren, who
was stroking her damp hair soothingly. “Only if I can join you,”
Lauren replied and Camila tilted her face to look at her girlfriend.
“Deal,” She agreed happily. “It’s so nice to hear you speaking
again,” Lauren told Camila sincerely, her fingertips lowering to
trace the scar on her forehead out of habit. “I admit that I was
starting to worry that it wouldn’t come back for a while…” “Me
too,” Camila admitted. “I was actually starting to get really
scared.” She shared with Lauren honestly. “Why didn’t you tell
me?” Lauren asked stroking Camila’s cheek gently with her
thumb. She made a face as the words she’d just said registered
 with her. “Oh, forget I said that.” She added quickly and Camila
smiled at her girlfriends’ embarrassment, standing up on to her
tip toes and kissing her reassuringly as she wrapped her arms
around her torso. “Eurgh,” Lauren said laughing and pushing
Camila back after a minute, “you’re all wet…” “I didn’t hear you
complaining about it last night,” Camila teased, raising her
eyebrow suggestively and Lauren’s face broke out in to a huge
grin. “Besides, you’re wet too or hadn’t you noticed?” “Yeah
well,” she said, “what can I say?” Lauren asked jokingly. “This is
what Dinah does to me.” Camila hit her girlfriend on the arm
spiritedly at her words and laughed, this time, her turn to push
Lauren away feigning insult.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 6/10 “Don’t be like that Camz,” Lauren said
reaching for Camila’s wrist and pulling her back towards her,
crashing their lips together hungrily, their tongues finding each
other’s in an instant. Camila felt Lauren’s hand reach up under her
tshirt as they kissed, groping her side delicately as she sucked on
her bottom lip, her other hand snaking around Camila’s buttock,
pulling their hips together. Lauren’s hand that had been brushing
Camila’s side travelled higher, her fingers squeezing her
girlfriend’s breast gently when they reached the soft flesh. “Shit,”
Camila moaned, separating their lips to look in Lauren’s eyes for a
moment, their faces mere inches apart. “What about your
parents? Aren’t they back?” “No,” Lauren smiled, kissing Camila
 on the lips briefly. “They text me early this morning and told me
they were going to stay at your house as it was so late…early….”
Lauren frowned. “Whatever. They’re still there.” “They could be
back any minute you know,” Camila supplied logically and Lauren
made a face in response. “Spoil sport,” she groaned, kissing
Camila again, her hand reaching up to the back of her girlfriends’
neck and pulling her close, deepening the contact. “So sex was
amazing huh?” Lauren asked her, pulling away again,
remembering Camila’s words from earlier with a smile on her
face. “It was alright,” Camila responded lightly, ducking her head
back as Lauren tried to kiss her again. “I mean, I’ve had better.”
She shrugged thoughtfully. “Oh, you have?” Lauren asked her
amused at the charade, “Anyone I know?” “I don’t think so,”
Camila replied, pretending to think about the question for a
moment. “She does kind of look similar to you though…” Camila
studied Lauren’s face for a minute before continuing. “Just not
quite as attractive as you are.” Camila said finally smiling brightly,
her eyes sparkling, entertained. “She looked a little nervous to be
honest.” “She probably was,” Lauren responded enjoying their
game. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she had heart palpitations at the
just the thought of seeing you naked.” “Most people do,” Camila
retorted, her face dead pan as she joked. “Apparently it’s a
genetic problem. Scientists are trying to find a cure but so far
they’ve had no luck.” “Sucks for her,” Lauren laughed kissing
Camila again deeply, enjoying seeing this side of her girlfriend
 again. “Mmm,” Camila started, trying to speak whilst her tongue
was still engaged with Lauren’s. “Good for you though.” She
commented once she’d managed to extricate herself. “Very good
for me,” Lauren acknowledged her face starting to hurt because
she was smiling so much. “Is it weird that I can remember
everything, but, at the same time can’t remember anything about
last night?” Camila asked interestedly. “No,” Lauren answered
seriously pecking Camila on the lips for an instant. “I know exactly
what you mean. I feel the same way, like, everything happened so
quickly. It was a complete blur but, time also seemed to be
suspended as well, like it was happening in slow motion.”
“Exactly,” Camila agreed. “See, this is why I date you.” She said,
pulling Lauren closer. “Why?” Lauren asked her, “Because I agree
with you?” “No,” Camila smiled. “It’s because you understand
me,” she shared. “You know, last night you asked me ‘why now’?
Do you remember?” Camila asked. “Of course I do,” Lauren said,
tucking a strand of Camila’s hair behind her ear. “Well, I couldn’t
tell you last night,” Camila started, “but, there were a few
reasons.” “There were?” Lauren asked shyly. “Yes,” Camila smiled.
“You’re stunning Lauren.” She told her seriously. “You’re like the
finest piece of art in the world’s greatest gallery and I’m the…I’m
the visitor or…the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 7/10 collector…who is so captivated by its
beauty that they end up standing before it for hours just
appreciating it’s beauty. I could look at you for hours.” Lauren felt
her cheeks blush at Camila’s compliment, her stomach fluttering
at how articulate her girlfriend was, the happiness she felt that
Camila was able to express herself again. “You breathed life back
in to me after the accident Lauren,” Camila continued, recalling
her thoughts from the night before. “I wasn’t a person afterwards;
I was alive, but I wasn’t living.” She informed her. “Ijust existed,
numbly and without purpose. Then you came along and blithely
handed me back my note book and changed everything.” She told
her. “You made me feel something again. You made me hopeful.
It’s like I was only just truly waking up out of my coma, like I’d left
a part of myself there, the part that allowed me to feel anything
more than the oppressive sensation of nought.” Camila paused
for a moment to brush the side of Lauren’s neck with her thumb.
“The more time I spent with you the more I started to feel,”
Camila went on. “It’s like you slowly managed to put me back
together somehow, like every day we spent with one another
added another individual piece to the whole puzzle. It’s still not
complete but, it’s getting there. Now I feel happiness, more
happiness than I can ever remember experiencing before,” Camila
said smiling brightly. “I’m happy, I’m in love and that’s because of
you.” “Camz,” Lauren said wanting to reciprocate the sentiment.
“You make me feel safe,” Camila continued, enjoying the sound of
her voice after its long absence, “and somehow you make my
dreams safe again so that instead of the crippling terror and fear I
 experience when I normally sleep, I’m content, and I wake up
feeling refreshed and rested.” Camila reached down and lifted up
one of Lauren’s hand, pulling it so that the fingertips grazed the
scar on her forearm followed by the scar over her left eyebrow.
“Your touch is the most reassuring thing that I know,” Camila
shared with her, “yet, it somehow manages to both calm me and
excite me. It’s addictive and I find myself craving it more and
more every day.” She paused for a moment and laughed to
herself. “I’m not explaining myself very well.” She realised. “You
are,” Lauren reassured her. “Well, that’s why Lauren,” Camila told
her. “They’re the reasons why I wanted to be with you last night.
Those and the hundred more that I could give you. I don’t think
the limit exists, Ithink they’re infinite, but, they all amount to the
same thing I suppose, and that is that Ilove you; the simplest
reason of all.” “You said that last night,” Lauren reminded her.
“You said ‘love.’” “Last night it didn’t seem like enough,” Camila
explained honestly. “It was,” Lauren reassured her, kissing Camila
affectionately on the lips, a chaste caress compared to the
previous ones. “It was enough.” “You don’t regret what we did?”
Camila asked her. “Not even for a second,” Lauren told her. “I
know it wasn’t the perfect setting with candlelight and rose petals
scattered across the bed, all those clichés, but, it was real and it
was us. I will never regret that.” Camila lifted her hand to play
with the necklace that she’d gotten Lauren which sat around her
neck, the charms resting in the middle of her chest. “I want to
 experience everything with you,” Camila said profoundly. “I’d
really like that,” Lauren replied, brushing Camila’s hair soothingly.
“I’m yours for as long as you want me.” “How does forever sound
to you?” Camila asked her, meeting Lauren’s gaze, her tone
serious. “Forever?” Lauren queried and Camila nodded
uncertainly, wondering if the short amount of time they’d been
dating was long enough for such an intense proclamation.
“Forever still doesn’t sound like long enough,” she answered
smiling, allaying Camila’s fears. “I always preferred the idea of
eternity if I’m honest.” “An eternity?” Camila questioned.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64152391581/trialsand-
tribulationschapter40 8/10 “You know, our never ending story,”
Lauren told her. “An eternity,” Camila mused. “Ok.” She agreed
and Lauren kissed her again, this time allowing her lips to linger
there, enjoying their taste and how soft they felt against her own.
“I don’t know why you don’t want to be a writer,” Lauren said
wistfully after they’d separated. “You have an ironic talent when it
comes to words Camila and I would happily listen to you speak
and read your reflections until I lost all my senses from old age.
They are a representation of your soul and they are impressive
and charismatic and…fascinating.” “You’ve been reading my
diary,” Camila asked her knowingly. “I can barely put it down,”
Lauren told her and Camila smiled. “Thank you for sharing your
thoughts with me, I know it can’t have been easy.” “That’s where
you’re wrong,” Camila disagreed. “It was one of the easiest things
 I’ve done. That’s how I knew it was right.” “I want to talk to you
about it properly later,” Lauren said rubbing Camila’s arm with her
thumb. “Let me take you out today.” She continued. “We’ll go
somewhere and talk. I’ve missed talking to you so much Camz.”
“You mean, like out on a date?” Camila asked her. “It’s been a
while since we’ve had one,” Lauren noted. “Let’s start the New
Year how we mean to go on, together.” “Ok,” Camila agreed. “I’d
like that. Where are you going to take me?” she questioned biting
her bottom lip. “You’ll find out,” Lauren said cryptically. “You’re
not going to tell me?” Camila asked. “You didn’t tell me once
remember?” Lauren countered and Camila pouted. “Yeah but the
date I’d planned then was a surprise,” she protested. “Well, this
one is too,” Lauren informed her with a sense of finality. “Sucks
when it’s happening to you doesn’t it?” “Yeah, actually it does,”
Camila said pouting again and Lauren kissed her on the lips,
smiling against the soft flesh contentedly. “You’ll enjoy it,” Lauren
said, “I promise.” “Itrust you,” Camila said honestly, smiling
brightly. “I know,” Lauren replied and she leant forward to kiss
Camila again, her arms hugging her girlfriend’s body closely.
“Jesus you two,” Dinah said, sticking her head around the door
and interrupting them. “Would you hurry up? I said five minutes
and that was over ten minutes ago. Your breakfast is getting
cold!” Camila and Lauren exchanged a look as Dinah disappeared
behind the door again. “Shall we?” Lauren asked, holding out her
hand. “Yes, I’m so hungry,” Camila replied, taking her girlfriends’
 hand in her own and interlinking their fingers. “Happy New Year
Camz,” Lauren said, loitering in the living room for a moment
longer. “Happy New Year Lauren,” Camila replied and she bought
their lips together again, believing deep down, that it really would
be.
Chapter 41
A/N: Ok, so please don’t hate me for taking so long to update. I’m
so sorry, my week just kind of got away from me. I love you guys.
Thank you for reading. Smile x “So…” Camila said, approaching
Lauren from behind and wrapping her arms around her
girlfriend’s waist as she stood washing up the dishes from
breakfast at the kitchen sink; Normani, Ally and Dinah having left
a half hour before in order to catch up with their families and
respective other halves, Lauren dropping large hints for them to
leave at every available chance. “We’re finally alone now,” Camila
reminded her girlfriend breathily, her mouth pressed close to
Lauren’s ear, her chin resting against the taller girls’ neck. “What
exactly are we going to do with this invaluable opportunity?” she
asked suggestively, raising her eyebrow despite the fact that
Lauren couldn’t appreciate the gesture. “You’re going to go and
get your stuff from upstairs,” Lauren told her seriously, continuing
to scrub clean one of the plates in the sink. “Ok,” Camila said,
squeezing Lauren’s waist more firmly, hugging her closer, “and
you’ll be joining me up there when exactly?” she asked, not even
pretending to play coy. Lauren laughed and turned around in
Camila’s arms so that her back was leaning against the sink behind
her. “I’m not,” Lauren informed her, reaching up her right hand
which was still covered in suds from the washing up liquid and
depositing them on the tip of Camila’s nose with her fingertip.
“I’m going to finish washing up and then I’m taking you out
remember?” “Why go out when we could stay in?” Camila asked
her, a mischievous grin on her face as she wiped the suds off her
nose with the back of her hand. “It might be a while before we get
to be alone together again.” She noted. “We should make the
most of it.” “You have developed a one track mind since you got
out of hospital,” Lauren commented amused, dipping her hand
back into the sink behind her quickly and transferring another
handful of suds on to Camila’s cheek playfully. “I have a one track
mind?” Camila asked laughing, wiping at her face again with the
sleeve of her sweater. “Why were you in such a rush to drive the
others away if you just wanted to take me out?” “I didn’t drive
them out,” Lauren protested halfheartedly, knowing deep down
that she had. “No of course you didn’t,” Camila responded, still
laughing at the recollection. “All those hints that you kept
dropping were just a friendly reminder that it was getting late and
informing them of the time.” “I was being helpful,” Lauren smiled
widely. “You were being obvious,” Camila told her chuckling in
response to the pleased expression on her girlfriends face. “Well, I
wanted them all to leave,” Lauren shared with her honestly,
shrugging as she spoke. “I want to spend the rest of the day with
 you and only you. Is that so wrong?” she asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 2/18 “No,” Camila replied shaking her head
gently from side to side. “It’s not wrong,” she said, her hands
slipping down to rest on Lauren’s buttocks as she stepped
forwards and pressed their hips together further. “It’s the
complete opposite of wrong.” She continued teasingly as she
moved her lips towards Lauren’s slowly, inch by inch. Lauren held
her breath for a moment, desperate for Camila to connect their
mouths together, desperate to feel her girlfriend’s soft flesh
pressed up against her own. “This isn’t fair,” Lauren uttered
quietly, her eyes watching Camila’s lips intently when they came
no further closer. She swallowed hard as one of Camila’s hands’
groped her hip and moved around to the front of her denim jeans,
toying with the button there roguishly. “It’s fun though,” Camila
replied smiling, her breath hot against Lauren’s skin. “When did
you become such a tease?” Lauren asked her and Camila grinned
in response. “What makes you think I’m teasing you?” Camila
asked her voice low and raspy, her tone unexpectedly evocative.
Lauren smiled and leant forward in an attempt to bring their lips
together, laughing softly as Camila moved her head back a little,
just out of reach. “That does,” Lauren answered her knowingly. “I
have to admit that you’re surprisingly good at it though Camz,”
She praised. “Everyone thinks that you’re so sweet and innocent.
If they only knew…” she trailed off thoughtfully, remembering all
 the times that Camila had tried to initiate something between
them. “I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not?”
Camila asked with a confused expression on her face. “You
should,” Lauren informed Camila, lifting her hand and depositing
some more suds on the tip of her girlfriend’s nose with the back
of it. Camila made a move to wipe them away again but Lauren
caught her small wrist with her hand and held it still, causing
Camila to tilt her head slightly as she studied Lauren, their eyes
fixed on each other’s. One side of Camila’s mouth lifted in a smile
as she noticed the silent challenge in her girlfriend’s green orbs
and she lifted her other hand quickly to try and swipe at the soapy
lather where it still sat, but, Lauren’s free hand shot up almost
instantly and seized Camila’s again, stopping her once more. “Well
played Lauren,” Camila said evidently entertained by the game.
“Now what?” she asked her. “Now nothing,” Lauren told her
beaming. “So we just stand here?” Camila asked her laughing.
“We just stand here,” Lauren confirmed. “You really didn’t think
this through at all did you?” Camila questioned and Lauren
furrowed her brow as though thinking. “Not really, no.” She
admitted and Camila’s eye’s glinted impishly. “What?” Lauren
asked her, noticing the change. “Nothing,” Camila replied
evasively. “Camz…” Lauren pressed tentatively, just as Camila
ducked her head forward and rubbed her nose against her
girlfriend’s cheek, solving her problem instantly and passing it
over to Lauren. Camila withdrew her head again grinning from ear
 to ear, her face glowing happily as she watched Lauren’s internal
dilemma. “Your move,” Camila said simply, her tone light and
cocky. “Oh, so it’s like that is it?” Lauren asked, pressing her back
up against the sink firmly. “I see…” “Lauren don’t,” Camila warned
as Lauren lifted both their hands up and moved them back behind
her so that they were hovering over the full sink, pulling the
smaller girl closer against her in the process.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 3/18 “Why not?” Lauren asked and Camila
didn’t have time to respond before both her hands and the
majority of her sweater sleeves were dunked unceremoniously in
to the warm water of the sink. “I can’t believe you just…” Camila
started to complain but, she was so close to Lauren now that all
the taller girl had to do was tilt her head forward slightly in order
to connect their lips together and cut her off tersely. Camila tried
to move her head back but Lauren held her girlfriends’ wrists in
place and rendered it impossible for her to do so, keeping her
small body pressed against her own securely. As soon as Camila
felt Lauren trace her tongue across her bottom lip however, she
forgot their game and opened her mouth eagerly to accept it,
deepening the kiss, her arms relaxing as she sunk even closer into
her girlfriend, her hips forcing Lauren’s against the sink further.
Lauren released Camila’s hands from her grasp and lifted her own
to cup Camila’s face momentarily, one hand soon straying to
brush the shorter hair on the left side of Camila’s head, the damp
 sleeking it back against her temple. Camila moved her right hand
and carefully slithered it up under Lauren’s top, making her abs
harden almost instantly in response, her mouth opening for an
instant in pleasure as Camila’s fingers started to graze her side,
leaving trails of dirty dishwater and foam in their wake. “Are you
sure that you don’t want to go upstairs?” Camila asked gasping
when they separated for a minute to catch their breaths. “Is this
what it’s going to be like between us from now on?” Lauren asked
chuckling lightly, trying to inhale large lungful’s of air, still slightly
puffed from their kiss. “Are we just going to have an insane
amount of sex?” “Sex is good for you,” Camila commented
shrugging. “It releases endorphins which make you feel happy
and…well, I’ve been diagnosed with depression so, surely, sex
should be considered a form of therapy for me.” “I’ll let you
explain that to my parents,” Lauren laughed amused at Camila’s
logic. “You know? When they find us in bed together and want to
kill us both.” “Please, I’ve lived through worse.” Camila said with a
haughty expression on her face. “I was hit by a speeding car and
survived. Your parents will be like running up against a giant
marshmallow.” “That may be true,” Lauren replied entertained at
Camila’s use of imagery, “but not everyone has an impenetrable
skull like you do Camz,” she continued, pretending to tap her
girlfriend’s head with her knuckles for emphasis. “I’d actually die.
My parents would physically kill me. I’d be dead.” “As I recall,”
Camila started, ignoring the last part of Lauren’s response and
 pretending to think for a moment. “My skull wasn’t all that
impenetrable actually…I mean, I might be wrong, because we all
know my memory is pretty poor but, I seem to remember a
surgeon removing a massive piece of it for a while, you know,
after the front of a car put a massive dent in it and squashed my
brain.” “Are you serious?” Lauren asked raising both her
eyebrows in surprise at Camila’s sudden choice of conversation.
“You think I got this in a knife fight?” Camila asked pointing to the
side of her head meaningfully. “No, not that,” Lauren told her,
waving one hand dismissively. “I mean, are we’re actually going to
talk about your brain surgery right now?” she chuckled. “Weren’t
you just trying to seduce me?” Lauren laughed again, “The idea of
someone opening up your head, well, it’s kind of gross…” “It was
also necessary,” Camila said holding up a finger emphatically and
cutting Lauren off before she could continue with, ‘and a little
counterproductive to your cause Camz.’ “Ok, I agree that it’s
actually kind of cool in a way,” Lauren mused thoughtfully,
running her fingertips across the thick scar which was now hidden
beneath Camila’s rapidly growing hair. “It’s only cool if you like
the idea of someone touching your brain,” Camila replied lightly,
“but to be completely honest with you Lauren, I’d really rather
appreciate being touched somewhere else right about now…”
“You,” Lauren said, pecking Camila on the lips briefly and cutting
her off, “are,” she continued, kissing her softly once again,
“relentless.” She finished, reaching up and
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 4/18 pulling on the back of Camila’s neck,
forcing their lips together once more, deepening it quickly, her
tongue darting in to the familiar depths of her girlfriend’s mouth
as she sucked there gently, enjoying the taste of Camila as she
happily obliged her. Lauren felt Camila’s hands sneak underneath
the back of the top she wore and make their way up towards the
middle of her back, her girlfriend’s small fingers carefully
meddling with the clasp of her bra. “Mmm…” Lauren groaned into
Camila’s mouth, her own hands finding Camila’s stomach and
pushing her back a little, temporarily separating them. “Camz,
what are you doing?” she panted. “What does it look like I’m
doing?” Camila asked her, biting her bottom lip in the way that
made Lauren want to do it for her. “Camz,” Lauren started to
protest but Camila leant forward and crashed their lips together
again, capturing them hungrily in her own and only stopping when
she felt the taller girls’ hands gently push against her stomach
once more. “Laur,” Camila countered, her voice low and raspy,
exactly as it had been when she’d uttered it last night whilst
they’d been together, the mere sound of it making Lauren’s
stomach flutter and her centre throb wantonly. “Fuck Camz,”
Lauren complained as her girlfriend pouted, the expression on her
face causing the taller of the two to close her eyes in an attempt
to rid it from her thoughts, the gesture useless because it was
strangely more vivid in her own imagination then it could ever be
 in real life. “You’re parents are still at my house,” Camila
reminded Lauren, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, her
breath hot against the other girls’ skin, Lauren shuddered
pleasurably in response to the sensation as Camila continued,
smirking to herself as she murmured quietly. “They won’t be
home for hours yet,” she informed her. “Remember, they text
you…” she sucked teasingly on Lauren’s neck for a moment before
adding, “They’re going to go and have lunch with your
grandparents which means we’re here…all alone…” Camila
stepped back from Lauren for a moment and reached down for
the hem of her own jumper, lifting it up and over her head, her
long dark hair falling back across her face messily as she threw the
item of clothing on to the counter beside her. Lauren swallowed
hard, watching as Camila repeated the process with her tshirt,
stripping it off quickly to leave her standing in just her bra and
jeans in the kitchen, the soft flesh of her stomach and chest
exposed. Lauren admired it brazenly, studying the soft curves of
Camila’s sides, the faint outline of her abdominal muscles, and the
line of her collar bones as they protruded invitingly from her flesh.
“I’m pretty sure there should be a rule against this kind of
behaviour,” Lauren gulped, her eyes trailing up and down Camila’s
body unapologetically, absorbing every detail and committing it to
memory. “I’m pretty sure that there should no such rule about
foreplay…” Camila began stepping closer to Lauren again, picking
up her girlfriends’ hands in her own and placing them against the
 contours of her stomach firmly. “Is that what this is?” Lauren
asked, her eyes moving up to stare at Camila’s mouth and noting
the way one corner of it quirked up into a smile. “Sure,” Camila
replied knowingly, winking, “Don’t you pay attention in health
class?” she questioned amused, her hands now releasing Lauren’s
to play with the waistband of her girlfriend’s jeans, her eyes never
leaving the piercing green before her. “I can’t say that I remember
having a class that taught me how to deal with this particular
situation,” Lauren answered, licking her lips as Camila pressed
their hips together. “Oh, well in that case,” Camila said as she
casually unbuttoned Lauren’s jeans and slipped one of her hands
down between the denim and the soft fabric of her underwear.
“Allow me to enlighten you.” She teased, moving her mouth
closer to Lauren’s as her hand began to softly stroke the front of
her girlfriend’s pelvis, making her muscles there contract
painfully. “We’re going upstairs,” Camila told her definitively,
“you’ve already accepted that fact.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 5/18 Camila leant forward to kiss Lauren’s
neck. “You’re just being stubborn and playing hard to get,” she
continued, kissing Lauren’s jaw line, “but, you’ll cave eventually
because you love me.” She went on smiling against the supple
flesh of Lauren’s lips as she kissed her again, “and you like seeing
me happy.” Camila kissed Lauren’s lips more firmly this time,
biting on the bottom one gently as she separated them in order to
 go on. “This makes me happy,” Camila told her simply, meeting
Lauren’s eyes meaningfully with her own, “and I’d gladly bet that
it makes you happy too.” “What are the terms to this bet?”
Lauren asked her eagerly, anticipating another kiss and feeling a
tinge of disappointment when Camila didn’t oblige, instead
choosing to grin broadly in response to her question, entertained.
“If it doesn’t make you happy then I’ll get dressed and we’ll go
out,” Camila said, raising her eyebrow in a challenge. “And if it
does?” Lauren questioned Camila, her mouth feeling dry as she
instinctively held her breath. “If it does make you happy then I’ll
get undressed and we’ll go upstairs,” Camila answered, her lips
inches from Lauren’s mouth. “Your choice…” She finished
breathily, lingering there patiently, sliding her hand back out from
under Lauren’s jeans and resting it on her hip, waiting. “Those are
my only options?” Lauren asked, her eyes lost in the dark
chocolate depths of Camila’s which were watching her, intentions
obvious, her lust and desire palpable. “Yes,” Camila informed her
compellingly. “It’s basically a winwin situation for me whatever
you decide.” “Oh,” Lauren said simply. “Well, in that case…” she
started, stepping forward quickly and trailing off as she forced
their lips together enthusiastically, all thoughts of pretence now
gone, her own yearning too much to suppress any longer. Camila
moaned as Lauren pushed her tongue in to her mouth and
stepped forward dominantly, one hand reaching up to caress
Camila’s side, the other wrapping around the small of her back
 and pulling them closer together. Lauren drew Camila’s chest
against her own, spinning them around quickly and forcing the
smaller girl back against the kitchen counter in one swift motion.
Lauren pinned Camila there with her hips, leaning her trunk
forward so that there was barely any distance between them,
pressing against her girlfriend powerfully, making her arch
backwards over the sink. Camila sucked on Lauren’s bottom lip,
her hands reaching down to tug at the bottom of Lauren’s top in
order to pull it up over her girlfriend’s head. Lauren stepped back
slightly, only releasing Camila’s lips long enough to oblige the
removal of her clothing before she stepped forward and
reconnected them again, her right hand moving to caress Camila’s
left flank, over her scar. “We should go upstairs,” Lauren puffed
breathlessly, her chest heaving, her free hand moving up to stroke
Camila’s cheek lightly with the pad of her thumb. “I don’t think I
can wait that long,” Camila panted in return and Lauren smiled,
pushing her lips against her girlfriend’s gently, lingering there for a
moment. “I’m so addicted to you Laur…” Camila confessed,
gasping as she tried to catch her breath. Camila knew it to be true
now; Lauren was her addiction, her drug of choice. Camila’s habit
had started small, with simple touches and kisses, like a teenager
who experiments with a spliff at a party, just testing the waters,
pushing their limits. Then after they’d moved on to pleasuring
each other, first after the winter formal and then again last night,
Camila had finally experienced the thrill that had accompanied
 the act of making love, of sex, and her body was no longer
satisfied with just mere touches, simple chaste kisses. Just like a
drug addict who now needed harder and stronger narcotics to
feed their buzz, to help them achieve their high, Camila needed
Lauren, not just the touches and the kisses, not just her amazingly
kind nature, her incredible personality; Camila needed all of her,
every last inch. “I love it when you call me that,” Lauren shared
with Camila, her hand falling to her girlfriend’s side and caressing
it gently. “You do?” Camila asked, not having been aware she’d
unintentionally shortened Lauren’s name.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 6/18 “Yes,” Lauren told Camila, her other
hand coming to rest on the soft skin of her girlfriend’s neck. “I
think I’m addicted to you too,” she reassured Camila, kissing her
gently on the forehead, just above her left eye. “I’m addicted to
your eyes,” she told her, staring in to them longingly. “I’m
addicted to your lips,” she continued, kissing them lightly. “I’m
addicted to everything about you Camz,” Lauren finished, pushing
her body against Camila’s once again, forcing the smaller girl back
against the sink firmly as she kissed her again. “So are we going
upstairs?” Camila asked breathlessly when they’d parted once
more and Lauren nodded, holding out her hand for the smaller
girl to take, their fingers interlocking tightly. Lauren didn’t say
anything else but turned on her heels, leading Camila smoothly
into the hallway and up the stairs to her room, kicking the door
 closed behind her with one foot once they were both inside.
Camila turned to face Lauren, who wasted no time in pushing the
smaller girl backwards on to the bed, lowering herself on top of
her enthusiastically. Lauren crashed their mouths together
eagerly, her tongue licking Camila’s bottom lip, pleading for
entrance and being granted it freely, the two of them battling for
dominance in the ongoing war between them. Lauren felt
Camila’s hands wander up her sides searchingly and settle on the
back of her bra, manipulating the clasp there as she’d done
earlier, only this time, Lauren didn’t stop her and Camila
successfully removed the item of clothing before blindly throwing
it away to the side, unwanted. Afterwards, Camila’s hands wasted
no time in moving down to the top of Lauren’s jeans and
attempting to unbutton them too, her hands fumbling for a
moment before she realised that they were already undone,
herself having completed the task in the kitchen earlier. “Here,”
Lauren puffed, separating their lips for a moment and reaching
down to push down the top of her trousers quickly. She
connected their mouths again almost instantly, her tongue
fighting once more with Camila’s, her hands making their way up
towards her girlfriend’s bra and removing it with ease. Lauren
pressed down on top of Camila, pushing their exposed chests
together and squashing the smaller girl beneath her slightly. She
sucked on Camila’s tongue, her hands now pulling at the jeans
around Camila’s waist, having unbuttoned them. Camila lifted her
 hips in order to assist Lauren in removing them and the taller girl
pulled them down over Camila’s tan legs and threw them to the
floor beside the bed; her mouth never leaving her girlfriend’s the
entire time. “Laur,” Camila prompted, her hands struggling to rid
Lauren of her jeans still. Lauren obliged Camila’s incomplete plea,
pulling the denim fully off her legs and tossing them on to the
floor where they landed above the pair that had gone before
them. “Jesus,” Lauren wheezed, her chest constricting tightly as
her lungs fought for air, one hand moving up to gently massage
Camila’s breast, the other working lower to play teasingly with the
top of her girlfriend’s underwear. “What?” Camila asked, one
hand stroking Lauren’s stomach soothingly, her fingertips tracing
small circles across the contours of her abs. “What’s wrong?”
Camila asked, her other hand cupping the side of Lauren’s neck as
she propped herself up on her knees slightly, her hips pressing
down in to Camila’s. “Nothing,” Lauren replied her eyes studying
Camila’s seminaked form beneath her hungrily, her hand still
kneading Camila’s breast, causing her girlfriend’s nipple to stiffen.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she breathed, swallowing hard. “Ijust, I can’t
believe Iforgot how beautiful you are Camz,” Lauren told her
honestly, her eyes roaming over Camila’s torso and admiring her
petite waist. “It’s just you’re somehow even more stunning every
time that I see you.” Camila smiled in response to Lauren’s
compliment and sat herself up slightly to bring their lips together,
her hand sliding round behind Lauren’s neck to pull her girlfriend
 back down on top of her again. She slid the hand that had been
caressing Lauren’s abs lower, pulling at the final piece of clothing
her girlfriend donned and slithering it down lower to expose the
curves of her buttocks. Lauren wriggled out of her underwear,
separating their lips once again to make the process easier. She
quickly reciprocated the procedure as she removed Camila’s, the
fabric feeling damp to touch as she discarded them carelessly.
Lauren leant back down over Camila, and sucked gently beneath
the curve of her girlfriend’s jaw, trailing soft, light kisses down to
the base of her neck and over her collar bone, one hand working
Camila’s breast, the other stroking the coarse hair of Camila’s
pelvis, which was being lifted into her own gratifyingly in
response.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 7/18 Camila lifted her head slightly and
moved one hand to brush across Lauren’s breast nimbly, teasing
her nipple for a moment as she kissed the top of Lauren’s
shoulder, her lips slowly progressing along her upper trapezius to
her girlfriend’s neck and settling just below Lauren’s ear. Camila’s
other hand worked its way lower and found Lauren’s damp centre
where it began to rub delicately, eliciting a deep satisfying moan
from the other girl. Lauren flexed her neck for a moment, her lips
pressing against Camila’s sternum as she tried to recover her
senses, every nerve in her body on fire. She sucked in a lungful of
air and released it slowly, trying to compose herself as she lifted
her head to look at her girlfriend, finding her deep chocolate eyes,
pupils dilated, watching her, always watching, always alert, always
attentive. “I wish everyone could see you the way I do,” Lauren
forced out between breaths. “I wish everyone appreciated your
beauty and your intelligence like me.” “I don’t,” Camila panted as
Lauren lightly kissed the scar over her sternum and moved her lips
lower, to graze the space between her breasts. “I don’t want
anyone else to ever look at me the way you do Laur,” Camila
wheezed, Lauren’s hand toying with her wet core now. “Only
you’re allowed to see me like this.” Lauren lifted her face to look
at Camila and saw that she was serious, knew that she was telling
the truth. Camila had literally exposed herself, both physically and
emotionally for Lauren; and only for her. She was the only person
Camila had allowed to see her insecurities, had permitted to read
her darkest thoughts and feelings, written in all their undeniable
clarity. Camila had made herself vulnerable to Lauren, she trusted
her implicitly and there was no way that she would ever do
anything to break that trust, to prove it falsely given. Lauren lifted
the hand that had been hovering over Camila’s breast to stroke
the side of her face as she leant down to kiss her girlfriend on the
lips, softly, meaningfully, only deepening it when she felt Camila’s
tongue probe at the gap between her lips. Camila pushed her
mouth against Lauren’s hard as the taller girl sucked on her
tongue enjoyably, her lower hand tensing slightly as she pushed
against Lauren’s centre with her fingers, the digits disappearing in
 the warmth moist between her legs. Camila dropped her head
back against the bed for a moment as Lauren’s breath hitched and
she pushed her hips forward against her girlfriends, pushing her
fingers in further. Lauren cleared her throat and closed her eyes
for an instant before opening them again and sighing deeply, her
fingers probing at Camila’s core and getting lost there. She
lowered her mouth down to the centre of Camila’s chest as her
hand moved back and forth, matching the rhythm of her
girlfriends. Lauren pressed gently against the scarred skin over
Camila’s sternum again before moving lower, until they were
caressing the soft skin of her abdomen, her other hand teasing
her girlfriend’s nipple. Camila’s free hand grazed Lauren’s side
momentarily before she sat herself up a little, the taller girl lifting
her face to bring their lips together voraciously. Lauren smiled as
Camila moaned in to her mouth and she felt that familiar tensing
of her own body, starting low and then spreading higher, every
muscle in her body contracting in gratification. “Camz,” Lauren
gasped, her mouth separating from her girlfriends’ for an instant,
but only barely, the warmth of Camila’s breath tickling her skin.
“Yeah,” Camila puffed, her eyes closed, her own body tensing. “I
love you,” Lauren exhaled as she began to shudder, finally tipping
over the edge and in to the abyss. “I know,” Camila replied; her
breath catching as she tried to connect their lips together again
and drove her hips forward in to Lauren’s. “I…” she started,
beginning to tremble. “Love…you…” she forced out quivering.
“Too.” She finished, this time meeting Lauren’s lips and kissing her
affectionately, her whole body relaxing completely as she too
peaked and fell back on to the bed, her energy spent. Lauren
collapsed on top of her, one hand moving to caress her cheek and
the other finally reappearing to rest beside Camila’s head on the
bed. Lauren kissed Camila tenderly on the mouth, enjoying their
closeness. “Remind me why I was so resistant to your suggestion
of coming up here again?” Lauren asked feeling completely
content, her stomach fluttering at the sight of Camila’s smile in
response to her question.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 8/18 “I already told you,” Camila chuckled
lightly, happiness radiating off of her. “You were always going to
give in. It was just a question of how long it would take, that’s all.”
Camila kissed her again, running her fingertips through her
girlfriend’s thick dark hair and brushing it out of her eyes. “For the
record, I don’t think it was that long.” Camila laughed and Lauren
smiled; her face lighting up with the expression. “Well you made it
extremely difficult for me,” Lauren told her stroking her brow.
“You definitely know how to get what you want Camz,” she
informed her amused. “Only from you,” Camila replied
mischievously. “You’re like putty in my hands.” “I always have
been,” Lauren told her truthfully. “I think I’d do pretty much
anything to make you happy.” “And what would you do to make
yourself happy?” Camila asked her interestedly. “They’re the
 same thing,” Lauren shared honestly. “My happiness is entirely
connected with yours.” “You’re cute,” Camila said, reaching up
and prodding the tip of Lauren’s nose playfully. “Only when I’m
with you,” Lauren finally admitted. “You bring out this side of
me.” “Well, I’m glad,” Camila told her, “because it’s one of my
favourite sides of you.” Lauren smiled and kissed Camila again,
the two of them remaining entangled in each other’s arms in bed,
silently dozing for a while before finally, after an hour, finding the
will power to get up and dressed again, the two of them having to
relocate downstairs in order to retrieve the rest of their clothes.
Camila had just finished pulling her sweater back on when Lauren
came over to her and wrapped her arms around her body, her
hands resting against the small of her girlfriends’ back. “So,” she
said, twisting them together on the spot slightly from side to side.
“Now that we’ve done what you wanted…” she started playfully.
“What we wanted,” Camila corrected her smiling and Lauren
grinned in return, knowing it to be true. “What we wanted,”
Lauren agreed, hugging Camila closer. “Can we get back to this
date?” “Sure,” Camila replied happily, pushing up on to her
tiptoes and kissing Lauren on the lips. “I’d really like that.” “We’re
kind of going to be doing it in reverse order now,” Lauren noted
amused. “As long as all the main ingredients are there does it
really matter what order they’re used in?” Camila asked her
smiling. “I guess not,” Lauren replied enjoying Camila’s clever use
of metaphor. “In that case, shall we go?” she asked, her hand
 slipping down and finding Camila’s, their fingers interlinking
reflexively as her girlfriend nodded. “Where are you taking me?”
Camila asked interestedly. “You’ll see,” Lauren told her, tugging
gently on her girlfriends’ hand and leading her to the door. She
guided her safely outside, locking the house behind her and
directing Camila down the drive and into the passenger seat of
her car. Lauren drove them towards town and down to the beach,
Camila’s favourite place, pulling up in to a secluded spot she knew
where you could park up near the sand, the enormity of the ocean
only a few feet away. “You bought me to the beach,” Camila said
turning to look at Lauren with a broad grin on her face, her eyes
bright and full of life. “Ilove the beach.” She told her. “I
remember,” Lauren laughed, turning the engine off and reaching
for Camila’s hand, tracing small circles on her palm for a moment
before playing with her fingers out of habit. “It’s where we had
our first date.” “I know,” Camila smiled. “I remember.” She
repeated Lauren’s words back to her. “It was the first time I’d
really talked about the accident.” Camila shared with her. “That
I’d http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 9/18 opened up about it with someone
other than my family or my therapist.” “That’s partly why I bought
you here,” Lauren told her. “I wanted to talk to you….” “Ok,”
Camila said uncertainly, interrupting her girlfriend. “That sounds
kind of ominous when you say it like that.” “It’s not I promise,”
Lauren said, lifting Camila’s hand and kissing the back of it
reassuringly. “It’s just that, I’ve missed talking to you so much and
you gave me this amazing Christmas present with your diary…I
just, we’re physically closer now,” she stated blushing slightly at
the thought, “and Ifeel like I know you better because of your
writing and your words, but, I want to discuss them with you. I
want you to understand what I know, what I have learnt.” “Can I
make one small plea first?” Camila asked, noting the time on the
clock on Lauren’s dashboard to be midafternoon, them having
wasted away a good part of the day already. “Anything,” Lauren
granted easily. “Can we get something to eat first?” Camila asked.
“I’m starving.” Lauren smiled and pointed down the beach about
a few hundred yards away with her free hand, gesturing to a
building, just visible in the distance. “There’s a diner just up
there,” Lauren informed her happily. “I know you can’t go a few
hours without anything to eat.” She commented lightly. “You
didn’t think I’d let you die of hunger did you?” “Well, I wasn’t
sure,” Camila replied squeezing Lauren’s hand quickly before
reaching for the door handle with her other and opening it up,
climbing out of the car, releasing her girlfriend’s hand as she did
so. Lauren climbed out the drivers’ door and locked the car as she
walked around to find Camila’s hand again, intertwining their
fingers hurriedly as though the thirty seconds they’d been
separated was entirely too long. “Let’s get you something to eat,”
Lauren said, swinging their hands gently between them as they
started to make their way on to the sand, Camila kicking off her
 converse almost immediately to enjoy the feel of the soft, cool
surface beneath her feet. She picked up her shoes with her free
hand and Lauren copied her with her own, letting her feet
disappear beneath the sand, her toes wiggling in it happily as she
watched the content expression on her girlfriends face before she
turned to look out at the waves which were gently kissing the
shore relaxingly to her right. “One day,” Camila said thoughtfully,
admiring the view. “I want to own a house on the beach,” she said
simply. “Just so that I can wake up every morning and look out to
the sea from the terrace, listen to the sound of the waves as they
come rolling in, feel the fresh breeze against my face, the warm of
the sun against my skin.” “One day will be today eventually,”
Lauren replied to Camila’s musings as they started to slowly make
their way along the sand towards the diner, their hands still
together, “and you’ll be standing on the decking, looking out at
the views and I’ll walk up behind you and wrap my arms around
you tightly,” she said wistfully. “I’ll remind you of this very
moment then, because you’ll be grey and senile, your memory
poor and all the kids will think you’re a crazy old lady now but I
won’t, because I’ll remember today and smile fondly at our youth,
at how your dream became a reality, how you finally got that
house and how we shared it together, making a life of our own.”
“You really think about us like that?” Camila asked tentatively,
meeting Lauren’s gaze. “Yes,” Lauren answered truthfully, not
sure whether Camila also did or if it was something that only
 she’d considered. “Is that weird?” she asked. “No,” Camila told
her. “I don’t think so.” She said smiling, pulling Lauren closer in to
her side by their conjoined hands. “Ilike the sound of your future.
It sounds like we’d be happy and together. Those are the only two
things I really want. The other infinite details are irrelevant as long
as those two things are true.” Lauren paused in her tracks for a
moment to stop and kiss Camila on the lips briefly before starting
back towards the diner. “What was that for?” Camila asked after a
moment, the small building growing larger with each step.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 10/18 “I just wanted to kiss you,” Lauren
told her and Camila smiled again, leaning in to Lauren’s side, her
head resting against the taller girls shoulder as they continued
their walk to the diner. They sat there together, enjoying their
meal in easy and light conversation, discussing the start of the
new school year, their plans for the Taylor Swift concert that
Lauren had bought for Camila as a Christmas present, Normani’s
difficulty with Arin which Camila was sad to learn about, and
finally Dinah’s constant use of their ship name, ‘Camren.’ Finally,
when they’d finished, they walked together back down the beach,
each eating an ice cream they’d bought for the journey, the sun
starting to grow lower as the afternoon passed in to evening, the
wind picking up slightly, the strength of it caressing their faces
softly as they made it back to where Lauren had parked her car.
They sat down beside one another at the ocean’s edge in the sand
 and finished their dessert, looking out at the glistening water’s
surface as it reflected the waning sunlight. Lauren looked at
Camila, who was just finishing her ice cream cone, her own having
been devoured completely only moments before, and smiled at
the sight of her girlfriend as she deposited the last remnants of it
into her mouth, unaware of Lauren’s gaze. “What?” Camila asked
eventually when she turned her head to glance at her girlfriend
and noticed her staring. “You have a little something there,”
Lauren said pointing to a spot just above her girlfriend’s upper lip
informatively. Camila lifted a hand to wipe at the dairy there but
Lauren caught it in her own and quickly leant forward, reaching up
her free hand to wipe at it with her thumb, sucking on it gently
afterwards briefly before connecting their lips in a chaste kiss.
“Thanks,” Camila said gratefully smiling. “I don’t know if I could
have done that myself.” She joked. “Anything to help,” Lauren
went along playfully. “You know how much I hate to see you
struggle.” “So,” Camila said, her tone turning a little more serious.
“You wanted to talk?” “I did,” Lauren said reaching in to her bag
and pulling out Camila’s diary, handing it to her girlfriend. “You
keep this with you?” Camila asked touched. “Yes,” Lauren
answered. “Is that alright?” “Of course,” Camila told her. “I gave it
to you as a gift. It’s yours now. You can do what you like with it.
Burn it if you want to.” She joked selfeffacingly. “I’d never burn
it,” Lauren said seriously. “I treasure it too much. It’s one of the
reasons that I keep it on me, because I want to make sure that I
 don’t lose it. That it’s safe.” “Why does it mean so much to you?”
Camila asked fascinated. “It’s just a collection of words, some
poorly conceived notions and ideas, the incomplete ramblings of a
mad person.” “You don’t believe that any more than I do,” Lauren
responded knowingly, placing a hand on Camila’s arm to let her
know that she couldn’t fool her, that she didn’t have to pretend to
be someone else because she already knew who she was and
Camila couldn’t hide that from her, no matter how much she
might want to sometimes. Lauren knew Camila well enough to
know when she was trying to be evasive or brush something off as
jesting, when she was too shy or too embarrassed to want to
discuss it seriously, to be taken seriously. She knew Camila had
difficulty dealing with her own emotions and this was her defence
mechanism, to pass everything off as a joke and make light of the
situation so she wouldn’t have to experience what she was
feeling, so she could go on pretending like everything was alright,
content in her own denial, in keeping herself small, in hiding her
intelligence. “People think you don’t understand what’s going
on,” Lauren said, “and you let them. You pretend to be oblivious
to everything, to the looks other students give you, to the feelings
of your mom and dad, to your own emotions in regards to the
driver that hit you, but, you’re not Camz, are you?” Lauren asked
rhetorically. “You’re not oblivious, you’re insightful and smart.
You’re articulate and intelligent. You know what you’re feeling,
you understand how people’s reactions, how their words and
 their constant
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 11/18 staring affects you. You know, yet,
you do nothing about it. You write about it, you acknowledge it
but you don’t react to it. Why is that?” Camila didn’t respond,
instead glancing back out to the sea, lost in her thoughts,
admiring the vista, playing with her own hands in her lap. “Camz
please don’t hide from me,” Lauren prompted her, worried she
wouldn’t answer. “I’m not hiding,” Camila said, finally turning her
attention back to her girlfriend and reaching for her hand,
stroking the back of it with her thumb reassuringly. “I’m just
thinking.” “You do that a lot I’ve noticed,” Lauren told her,
nodding her head to the book in Camila’s lap. “I do nothing but
think,” Camila said honestly. “That’s all I do and sometimes it gets
a little bit overwhelming.” Camila paused for a moment to give
Lauren a significant look, her girlfriend having been present at a
number of her emotional breakdowns. “Do you know what it’s
like to be trapped in your own head?” Camila asked. “To want to
be able to express yourself or share something with someone else
and not be able to?” she questioned. “It’s frustrating, it is so
frustrating.” Camila said through gritted teeth, returning her
attention to the sea again. “So share it with me now,” Lauren
encouraged her. “Tell me now.” Camila looked back at Lauren and
continued. “Your head is the loneliest place you could ever live,”
Camila told her simply. “To be stuck there listening to everyone
 else speak and verbalise their thoughts aloud with ease, to
unburden them on someone else, to seek advice and reassurance
whilst you are unable to…” “Or unwilling to?” Lauren questioned
hesitantly and Camila gave her a pointed look. “You’re
perceptive.” Camila noted, staring out to the sea again. “You’re
not nearly as good at hiding your emotions and your thoughts as
you think you are,” Lauren told her. “People can read you Camz;
the people that know you, that really know you can anyway.” She
shared. “Your diary helped me understand you better, but, you’re
an open book sometimes and I don’t always need your scrawled
handwriting to understand what’s locked away in your head.” “I
can’t react,” Camila said after a moment’s pause in answer to
Lauren’s original question, her eyes still on the water, avoiding
Lauren’s probing ones. “Reaction suggests a response to
something; that I’ve dealt with and accepted it but I haven’t. So I
can’t react. I can’t do anything, I can only think and write…” “And
speak,” Lauren added as Camila trailed off. “Sometimes,” Camila
agreed, her hand now playing with the sand around her, her
fingers manipulating it between them thoughtlessly. “To react
isn’t always to have accepted something though,” Lauren said
after a while when Camila had divulged no more. “Sometimes
people react to things without thinking, without accepting the
situation. Sometimes people just…react Camz.” “People,” Camila
said turning her head, her eyes finding Lauren’s again. “Not me.”
“Why?” Lauren asked. “You know why,” Camila answered and
 Lauren was surprised to find that she did. “You’re scared of
yourself.” She responded, lifting an eyebrow in realisation. “Of
what you’ll do if you just allow yourself to react and not think.”
“Look what happens when I do,” Camila said sadly. “Looked what
happened when I did.” She corrected. “I hit a teacher, I trashed
my room, hurt my sister.” She listed off easily. “I pushed Dinah
away…I can’t just react, I have to think.” “So you don’t do either,”
Lauren stated in understanding. “You don’t react, you pretend not
to hear, not to see how people treat you and others are feeling
and you do nothing. You don’t deal with it, you just acknowledge
it. Camz,” Lauren said placing a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder
and drawing her attention back to her once more. “You can’t ever
move on if you don’t break this cycle somehow. How are you
going to ever move
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 12/18 past this if you refuse to deal with
what happened? To address how you’re feeling, how your mom is
feeling, how other people perceive you…” “Do you know how
often I hear that I should just get over it? That I should put the
accident behind me and try to move on?” Camila asked. “My
therapist tells me I need to leave the past exactly where it is and
concentrate on the future, but no one seems to understand that
my past has shaped my future in to something that I never
envisaged it to be.” Camila looked at Lauren again, meeting her
interested eyes square on. “How am I supposed to deal with what
 happened, to accept that this is who I am now when in my head I
still see myself as the same person I was before the accident.”
Camila finally admitted. “She’s still in there Lauren, the person
that I used to be, she’s just trapped in a body that means people
can’t see her anymore. Now they just see this,” Camila said
gesturing to herself with a hand. “They just see who she’s been
forced to be, who she is in the confines of a dysfunctional body.”
Lauren saw the glint of tears in the corner of Camila’s eyes from
the way that they reflected the light and felt her own eyes sting in
response. “I see her,” Lauren said simply, placing a hand under
Camila’s chin and lifting it up so that she’d meet her eyes, her
gaze having dropped to the floor. “I’ve always seen her Camz,”
Lauren admitted. “You’re just saying that,” Camila rejected. “I’m
not,” Lauren reassured her. “I’m not just saying that Camz and I
don’t care if you believe it because I know it’s true. I saw her. She
was there, in the depths of your eyes the first time I looked in
them.” She continued. “She’s been there every single day since,
every single day Camz.” Camila was crying now and Lauren pulled
her close against her chest, hugging her tightly. “You’re still her,
you are.” Lauren comforted. “I see you Camz,” she said kissing her
head. “I see the real you, the person that stays hidden just out of
sight. I see you. I’ll always see you.” “I don’t want to go back to
before,” Camila shared through her tears as she sobbed against
Lauren’s chest. “I don’t want to rewrite history so the accident
never happened,” she said, “because then I’d never have met you
 Lauren. I just, I want people to see me for the person that I was,
not just some broken version of her who still can’t tie her shoes
properly, who cannot speak her name out loud if she’s not slept
properly.” “They’ll see her,” Lauren said, brushing the side of
Camila’s head lightly, her fingertips stroking her dark hair. “One
day. Everyone will see her Camz. You weren’t kept on this earth
for nothing. You’re meant for greatness, you’re going to change
someone’s life one day. Then every will see you. Until then…I see
you. I do. I wish that was enough.” “It is enough,” Camila told her
truthfully. “It’s more than enough Laur,” she said, the nickname
slipping out again. “I wasn’t lying when I said that only you’re
allowed to really see me. There are parts of me that are just for
you, they’re not for anyone else.” “I know,” Lauren reassured her,
kissing her again on the forehead lightly. “Ijust want to be treated
like I’m not some idiot who can’t string a few words together to
form a coherent sentence.” She shared. “I want people to see that
there is more to me than the accident. If they’re going to stare I
want them to tell me why, to ask me about what they’re
wondering…not just consider it a waste of their time because I’m
some retard who doesn’t know or who doesn’t see them.”
“You’re not a retard,” Lauren scolded her girlfriend, “and you’re
not an idiot Camz.” “I feel like it sometimes,” Camila admitted.
“The last few weeks when I couldn’t speak at all, I’d listen to
myself as Itried and I can understand why people would think that
I was, would assume that there was nothing going on up here,”
 she finished, pointing to her head with her free hand. Lauren
squeezed the one she held supportively. “Don’t ever think that
about yourself,” Lauren said seriously. “You’re one of the
smartest people I know, even with all your troubles Camz.”
“Sometimes Ithink you’re my biggest fan,” Camila chuckled,
wiping at her eyes.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 13/18 “I am your biggest fan,” Lauren told
her smiling. “Do you know why I gave you my notebook?” Camila
asked Lauren smiling despite her still moist eyes, her head still
resting against Lauren’s shoulder. “I assume it’s because you
wanted me to read it.” Lauren commented laughing a little. “Well,
yes,” Camila admitted, her own smile returning and making
Lauren’s stomach flutter, “but, there were other reasons too.”
She said, lifting her head to look at her girlfriend. “I already told
you that you hold the key to my mind,” Camila reminded, one
hand reaching up to play with the pendant around Lauren’s neck.
“That’s still true because you do.” Camila continued. “You are the
first person I’ve ever felt comfortable sharing my thoughts with
out loud.” “I know, I read your note,” Lauren reminded her
girlfriend, sensing that she was going off point. “Right,” Camila
recalled. “It’s just, this notebook, it was the first honest thing I’d
done since the accident. The first thing that I did for myself,” she
shared. “Everything is in there, all my thoughts, every little feeling
that I experienced, was something just for me. They were mine.”
Camila paused to meet Lauren’s eyes squarely. “Now they’re ours.
I wanted them to be ours, something that we shared, just the two
of us.” Camila said and Lauren smiled. “Ok, just….bear with me a
minute on the next part,” Camila asked, trying to organise her
thoughts. “It’s like, everyone dies eventually,” Camila said, “I
know that and I’ve thought about it a lot since the accident, how
one day I’ll be here and then the next I might not be.” She
continued.” “Camz,” Lauren started but Camila lifted her hand to
cut her off. “No listen, please,” Camila asked and Lauren obliged,
not certain where her girlfriend was going but feeling uneasy
about the topic of conversation. “It’s like in Harry Potter,” Camila
went on and Lauren furrowed her brow, now completely lost.
“When Lord Voldemort is so determined to be the most powerful
wizard ever that he splits his soul in order to achieve immortality.”
Camila explained and Lauren raised her eyebrow slightly, still not
following. “Well, I’m scared of dying,” Camila admitted. “I tried it
once and I’ve realised that it’s not for me.” “Camila no one wants
to die,” Lauren said. “I know,” Camila replied. “That’s not what I
mean,” she clarified. “It’s just, now that I’ve been thinking about
it, I’ve been wondering, what’s left when we’re gone? I’m just one
person in three billion and I’m still relatively young. What will be
left of me if I die to prove that I ever really existed in the first
place?” Camila paused for a moment and Lauren didn’t interrupt,
keen to see where her girlfriend was going with this. “The answer
is nothing,” Camila said. “There’ll be some memories in the minds
 of the people that knew me, some distorted image of the person
that I was from their perspective but, nothing of me, not really.”
Camila explained. “So, I guess that this is kind of my horcrux,”
Camila told Lauren, lifting up the notebook. “Hidden in these
pages is a piece of my soul, left behind for anyone who cares
enough to want to read it. It’s not some dark magic; it doesn’t
diminish my humanity like in the books, but preserves it, or in my
case, helps to uncover it, to restore it to me after I thought I’d lost
it.” Camila gave the book back to Lauren who took it, holding it in
her hand, a questioning look on her face. “You’re giving me a
piece of your soul?” Lauren asked, the weight of Camila’s words
finally settling on her. “I’m giving you a hard copy of something
that you already have,” Camila told her, “because I trust you’ll
keep it safe and if anything should happen to me then I know
you’ll remember me how I was, that you’ll understand me, and
keep me alive in your thoughts, in your memory…” Camila dipped
her head to look at the sand in front of her as she stroked the
back of Lauren’s hand with her thumb. “You’d tell people about
me one day,” Camila said, “you’d share those memories with
others and they’d remember them, then they’d tell someone
else.” Camila continued.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 14/18 “That way, I could stay here with you
forever, I could be immortal too, and I could make a mark in some
way. I don’t know, it sounds stupid when I say it out loud but it
comforted me a little to know that you had it because I think that
you’re the only person that really truly knows the real me.” “It
doesn’t sound stupid,” Lauren reassured her, placing the
notebook back in her bag. “I promise, I’ll keep it safe Camz and I’ll
tell everyone about you should something happen.” “You will?”
Camila asked her. “I will,” Lauren promised her. “I’ll never stop
talking about you, about how amazing you are, how thoughtful,
how kind, how beautiful. By the time I’m finished the whole world
will know who you are.” “Ilove you,” Camila told her, a small smile
gracing her lips. “I love you too,” Lauren answered and she leant
forward to kiss Camila against the back drop of the ocean, the
waves crashing against the shore in their ears, the wind gusting
strongly around them. “Thank you for sharing this with me,”
Lauren said gratefully, gesturing to her bag where the book was
now safely stored. “You have no idea how much it means to me.”
“Ithink I do,” Camila replied, kissing Lauren again. “Promise me
you won’t go anywhere just yet?” Lauren asked, meeting Camila’s
gaze, “because if you remember, we have a beach house to buy
and an amusing stage of senility to reach.” “I’ll try not to,” Camila
answered, knowing that it was something neither her, or Lauren,
or anyone else could promise, life being such as it was. “That’s all I
ask,” Lauren replied, hugging Camila close and kissing her again.
“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” Camila asked as they
parted. “For now,” Lauren replied contentedly, kissing Camila’s
forehead just above the scar over her left eyebrow. The two of
 them sat together, watching the sunset over the water, Camila
cuddled up against Lauren’s side, the taller girls’ arm wrapped
protectively around her torso, the other playing mindlessly with
her girlfriend’s fingertips instinctively. They stayed like that for
hours, until day turned to night and they could look up at the sky
and admire the stars as they shone down on them brightly, their
light a reassurance in the depths of the darkness surrounding
them. Lauren dropped Camila off at home later, kissing her
goodnight and reminding her that she’d picked her up for school
in the morning as normal. When Lauren returned home, she made
her way up to the confines of her bedroom and pulled out the
small notebook, opening it to the last entry she’d read and picking
up where she’d left off, sitting down in her desk chair as she did
so. Lauren felt her stomach tighten in a knot as she read the date
scrawled at the top of the page and recalled the day she’d
confessed her true feelings for Camila, then driven off and left
her, standing alone in the road, tears falling down her face.
“Lauren left. She got in her car and drove off; leaving me alone in
the road watching the horizon until she’d disappeared completely
from view and possibly from my life. I don’t really know what
happened if I’m honest. One moment we were sat in my room,
talking like we normally do and the next, she’s handed me a note
I’d written to her crush and she’s told me that it’s me, that I’m
who she likes. My brain is slow at the best of times now, slow to
process, slow to understand, slow to perform any menial task,
 but, it must have shown because when I next look up she’s gone
and there’s an ache in my chest that I’ve never felt before, like I’d
just lost something precious, that I never even knew I had,
possibly forever. It’s strange how much it hurts, that feeling of
loss, that terrifying despair. It surprised me that it exceeded any
of the physical pain I’d experienced after the accident, the
shooting pain in my chest and my side every time that I coughed
or sat up or moved, the constant throbbing of my skull, the dull
ache behind my eyes, the numbness in my hand. It exceeded all of
those things combined. Some ethereal concept, some abstract
possibly, some unexpected suggestion, some unknown potential,
hurt me more than everything else noted above. Something I
didn’t even know I could miss, that I could lose, that I’d even had
to begin with.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 15/18 I’d mad at myself, that I didn’t see it
before, that I didn’t recognise it. I’ve hurt her and now she won’t
answer my calls, won’t pick up the phone to talk to me. Not that I
could talk even if I wanted to right now. My speech is gone again
and my mom is worried about me, I can tell. She wants to call the
doctor, to see if it’s related to the seizure, but, I don’t want to see
them again, at least not for a very long time. I’m so sick of the
hospital, especially because I seem to be spending so much time
there this year. More than I’d planned on at least. I mean it’s easy
to achieve when you’d not planned on spending any
 there…anyway, I’m distracted again. This always fucking happens.
What was I writing about… Oh yeah, Lauren. She’s not talking to
me because I couldn’t tell her how Ifeel in return. I mean, I’m not
even sure I know that for myself really, everything is so fucking
confusing. Am I scared of losing her as a friend or do I feel
something else for her? I don’t know, how the fuck does anyone
know these things? I mean she’s pretty, really pretty actually and
her eyes are captivating, like, they’re so green and vivid. She’s
nice to me and she looks out for me all the time. She’s smart,
really smart and she uses her intelligence to make solid life
choices, to understand who she is and what she wants. Now I’m
thinking about kissing her again. We kissed and it was weird. I’ve
never kissed anyone before, at least, not that I can remember.
Apparently I kissed Lauren at the hospital after my seizure but, I
don’t remember that. If I can’t remember does that mean it really
happened? I mean, I don’t know. I guess it really did because she
remembered, but, why did I kiss her? What possessed me to do
that? Either time actually? Does it mean I like her? I know that I
like her; we’re friends after all but, do I like her more than a
friend? I think I do. Otherwise I would have just hugged her or
something today but, I wanted to kiss her. It seemed like the right
thing to do and it felt like the right thing to do at the time. Now
I’m not so sure it was though. She seemed upset with me when I’d
done it. It made my stomach feel funny when I had though. Not in
a bad way, just, in a strange way, like, it was exciting…it made me
 feel like everything would be alright as long as we were kissing
and then we stopped and everything wasn’t alright. Everything
was so fucked up. Kind of like me I suppose. Why can’t things ever
be simple? Why couldn’t I have just walked home from the beach
that day and I don’t know, not have been run over by a car? Or
why couldn’t Lauren have told me that she liked me as more than
a friend and my voice not have thought it was a good time to fuck
off? Maybe it would be nice for once to understand how you feel
about other people without needing to overanalyse everything.
Like, perhaps people could come with a helpful tag somewhere
that read, ‘friend’ or ‘relative’ or ‘love of your life.’ That would be
great. Maybe someone should get on that for me. I’m so clueless
when it comes to reading people. I have a hard time believing that
anyone would want to be my friend, yet alone, more than that. I
mean, has Lauren seen me? I’m not exactly the most put together
person on the planet and I have a shit load of problems that even
I struggle to cope with. I don’t think she knows quite what she’d
be letting herself in for. Anyway…what was my point…shit I can’t
remember. She’s so infuriating. Why won’t she answer the fucking
phone? Doesn’t she know you’re not supposed to sleep on an
argument? What if something happens? What if the other person
gets hit by a fucking car and you never get to speak to them again
or make things right? If something happened to Lauren now and I
never got to apologise for upsetting her I don’t know what I’d do.
Perhaps I should just go over there…but… it’s like three in the
 morning. Probably isn’t a good idea. Shit. I started writing her a
letter but, it’s not finished yet. It’s hard to share things with other
people. That’s why I like writing here because it’s personal and I
know only I’ll ever read it. Do you know how scary it is to put
yourself out there? What if Lauren tears it up? What if she still
hates me afterwards? Now I know how she must have felt, to
admit it out loud. Ugh, I want to kiss her again now…perhaps I
should have just hugged her, but a hug didn’t seem like enough to
express how I felt. No a kiss was better. It was a more accurate
representation Ithink. Ilike her. Fuck. I do. I like Lauren, but, I
don’t like myself…why does she even like me? What does she see
there? Jesus, ok…I need to write that letter, well, finish it at least.
Why is this so scary? I mean it shouldn’t be so daunting should it?
Or should it? Fucking hell perhaps I should phone Dinah and ask
her what she thinks…but I can’t speak…and it’s still three in the
morning. She’ll be asleep. Why aren’t I asleep?
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64500522258/trialsand-
tribulationschapter41 16/18 Oh yeah, that’s right. It’s because I
upset Lauren and now all I seem to be able to do is think about
her and that excruciating pain that just will not go away every
time I imagine not seeing her again or that we’ll no longer be
friends. Plus, I keep thinking about that flashback I had after in
front of Lauren’s car and I don’t know, I think I’d have a nightmare
and if there’s one thing I hate more than the feeling of losing
Lauren, it’s waking up in a cold sweat, screaming at a car that
never stops no matter how many times I dream about it. No wait,
the thought of losing Lauren does feel worse than that…I need to
write that letter. Shit. Here it goes.” “Fucking hell Camz,” Lauren
laughed, reading her girlfriend’s inner monologue and seeing
parallels to the one she’d had when she’d first met Camila, her
initial denial, followed by her subsequent acceptance. “Eloquent
as always,” she chuckled, pleased in the knowledge that Camila
had been just as confused by her feelings as she had, her normally
articulate prose now a scattered collection of thoughts. The
incomplete ramblings of a mad person, Lauren heard in the back
of her mind and she laughed for a minute at how true that
statement seemed now after having read that entry. More like a
piece of my girlfriend’s soul, Lauren thought seriously after a
while, her initial amusement soon subsiding and allowing her to
see what was really on the page before her. The love of my life’s
immortality.
Chapter 42
“Hi,” Lauren greeted Camila softly. “How was the rest of your
morning?” she asked wrapping her arms around Camila’s waist
protectively whilst her girlfriend emptied some of her books in to
her locker at the beginning of lunch the next day. Camila closed
her locker carefully and leant back against Lauren’s body, visibly
relaxing as she sunk further in to her girlfriend’s arms. “It could
have been better,” she told her truthfully and Lauren tightened
her hold around Camila’s middle supportively. “Why what
happened?” Lauren asked her concerned. “Is everything alright?”
Camila placed a hand over both of Lauren’s as they rested on her
stomach and started to gently rub one of her girlfriend’s forearms
reassuringly. “Yeah, I’m just sick of people staring at me,” Camila
shared with her honestly. “If possible it’s even worse than the last
time I managed to show myself up at school.” “Camz,” Lauren
said, turning her head slightly to look at her girlfriends’ face and
plant a quick, soft kiss against her neck. “I know it must be
horrible but, just try to ignore them. They’re probably just curious
about what happened.” “I know,” Camila acknowledged; her hand
settling back over Lauren’s again. “It’s just, if they’re curious why
don’t they just ask me about it?” She questioned sighing. “Even
the teachers are acting strangely around me today.“ she
disclosed. “I had Mrs Edwards for French after home room and
she spent the whole lesson watching me out of the corner of her
eye like I was going to collapse any minute.” “She was probably
just worried about you,” Lauren tried to comfort Camila, pulling
her body into hers further. “I mean, it’s actually really scary
watching you have a seizure Camz,” she told her from experience,
“and the last one that you had was really bad. You can’t really
blame her for wanting to make sure that you’re ok.” “She didn’t
ask me though,” Camila groaned, extending her neck so that it
arched over Lauren’s shoulder slightly. “She just kept looking at
me.” Camila explained and she felt Lauren’s hold on her
strengthen. “If she was concerned she could have just asked me if
 I was alright, couldn’t she?” Camila rambled. “I would have told
her that I was and then that could have been the end of it,” she
continued. “I guess I’m just feeling really selfconscious today or
something.” She admitted. “I don’t think it helped that I didn’t
sleep very well last night either.” “Perhaps you should have taken
today off?” Lauren said thoughtfully. “You know, had an extra day
to get yourself back to a hundred percent again?” “I’m not sick,”
Camila said defensively, dropping her head forward again and
Lauren knew she’d struck a nerve. “I don’t need to stay at home
and I can’t afford to miss any more school, I’m already behind
enough as it is.” “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised sincerely, cursing
herself internally for even mentioning it. She knew how much
Camila hated being thought of as someone who was ill or an
invalid and she’d just inadvertently managed to suggest that she
was both. “It’s ok,” Camila reassured her, stroking the back of her
girlfriend’s hand with her fingertips soothingly. “I’ve just got a bit
of a headache.” She admitted. “I forgot how
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 2/11 tiring and stressful school is.” “Have
you taken something?” Lauren asked her and Camila nodded the
back of her head against her shoulder. “It’ll settle down in a bit,”
she responded, twisting around in Lauren’s arms to meet her eyes
at last. “Hmm…” Lauren murmured thoughtfully, reaching up a
hand to brush a stray lock of hair out of Camila’s eyes and tucking
it behind her ear securely. “Well…” she continued, her hand lifting
 up to caress her girlfriend’s brow restfully, her fingertips grazing
the spot above Camila’s left eye out of habit, tracing the outline of
her scar instinctively. “Maybe I can do something to make you feel
better in the mean time?” she finished, Camila closing her eyes in
response to Lauren’s light touch, the sensation pacifying her as it
normally did. Camila leant forward slightly to rest her head
against Lauren’s chest, her eyes still closed. Lauren wrapped her
arms around Camila’s waist again, hugging her warmly and she
felt Camila’s small arms reach up to enclose her own torso in
return. She smiled to herself briefly before tilting her head
forwards and planting a delicate kiss to Camila’s forehead, her lips
lingering there for a moment as she gently rocked the smaller girl
in her embrace. “You already are,” Camila informed her simply,
her voice muffled as she spoke into Lauren’s jumper, her hand
clinging on to the back of it contentedly. Lauren lifted one hand
up to stroke the hair at Camila’s brow and kissed the top of her
head. “We should go and meet the others,” Lauren said, her hand
still playing with Camila’s soft dark hair. “They’ll be wondering
what’s taking us so long.” Camila lifted her head to meet Lauren’s
gaze, a small smile creeping on to her lips. “Knowing them they’re
probably concocting all kinds of possible scenarios in explanation
for our absence,” Camila laughed. “I’m sure that the majority of
them would involve an unused janitor’s closet somewhere too.”
“We really have the most deviant group of friends,” Lauren noted,
chuckling to herself. “Surprisingly though Ally seems to be the
 worst,” Camila said, separating herself from Lauren momentarily
to pick up her bag from the floor to quickly swing it over her
shoulder. “I always thought that it would be Dinah.” she mused as
Lauren draped an arm across her shoulders and they began to
make their way towards the cafeteria. “I think it’s because Ally is
so small,” Lauren commented thoughtfully. “It makes her look all
innocent and then she’ll say something suggestive and it
completely takes you by surprise.” “That is totally it!” Camila
agreed enthusiastically, causing Lauren to laugh in response at her
excitement. “I mean, you just kind of expect it with Dinah because
she’s so brazen and shameless about these things, but with Ally
it’s totally unexpected.” “You’re a dork,” Lauren commented
amused at her girlfriend’s behaviour but happy that she seemed
to have cheered up somewhat. Camila stopped to protest at
Lauren’s words, but the taller girl just pulled her girlfriend closer
to her and crashed their lips together, kissing her deeply, her
tongue engaging with Camila’s almost instantly. “I mean that in
the nicest possible way of course,” Lauren told her seriously,
smiling brightly at the confused and flustered look on Camila’s
face as she pulled back, separating them. “I…” Camila started to
complain, flushed, but Lauren’s grin just grew wider at the sight of
her girlfriend so ruffled and she started walking in to the cafeteria
towards their usual table where Normani, Ally and Dinah were all
sat waiting for them. “Lauren!” Camila called after her, her feet
moving hurriedly in an attempt to keep up. “Hi guys,” Lauren
 greeted the others, taking her usual seat just as Camila reached
them. “Hey,” the others all said in greeting, Dinah eyeing Camila’s
rattled appearance with amusement. “You two been busy?” she
asked, raising her eyebrow suggestively.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 3/11 “No,” Lauren replied smiling as she
pulled her lunch out of her bag and placed it on the table in front
of her. “Ok, so then what’s up with her?” Normani asked laughing
as she pointed at Camila who was standing beside Lauren,
studying her with an unreadable expression on her face. Lauren
looked up to meet Camila’s inquisitive eyes and the smaller girl
raised her eyebrow pointedly when she finally had her girlfriend’s
attention. “Problem?” Lauren asked her entertained and Camila
just looked at her trying to fight a smile. “Seriously though,” Ally
said watching the exchange before her. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Lauren answered, her eyes never leaving Camila’s.
“Right Camz?” she asked playfully. “That is not fair and you know
it,” Camila objected, pointing to the doorway as she flopped down
on to the bench beside her girlfriend. “What’s not fair?” Dinah
asked confused, looking between the two of them. “She knows
what,” Camila grumbled, reaching in to her bag and searching
inside it for her lunch. She frowned when she came up empty
handed. “Aww, don’t be like that Camz,” Lauren said, leaning over
and trying to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. Camila moved her
face back out of the way to prevent her from achieving her
 desired outcome and Lauren pouted as Camila rummaged
through her bag once again, this time finding her sandwich and
chips hidden between a couple of her textbooks. “Don’t pout,”
Camila said when she lifted her gaze and noticed Lauren’s
expression, her eyes betraying her entertainment. “That’s not fair
either,” she moaned, placing her lunch on the table. “Are you
really mad or are you just pretending?” Lauren asked, struggling
to keep the smile off her face at Camila’s feigned mood. “You’re
such a tease,” Camila told her laughing, opening her bag of chips
and taking one out to eat. “I’m a tease?” Lauren asked her, raising
her eyebrows in disbelief. “Let’s not forget which one of us keeps
trying to initiate…certain….situations.” she said giving Camila a
meaningful look and chuckling. “You’re keeping score?” Camila
questioned amused, her brow furrowing. “There was the time in
your bedroom, then the night of the winter formal,” Lauren said
holding up one finger at a time as she listed each of the different
occasions off on her hand. “Then the night your parents came to
my house for dinner, then New Year’s Eve… then…yesterday…”
she finished, her voice barely above a whisper. “Oh my God,”
Camila said incredulous at Lauren’s memory, “What about you?”
she asked jokily. “There was the time in my bedroom after I told
you that I loved you,” she reminded her. “Then the time in your
kitchen after we’d had that fight,” she continued. “Don’t forget
the time Chris walked in on us,” she went on, evidently on a roll.
“The night of the winter formal,” She added meaningfully, lifting
 up her little finger. “Let’s not forget that it was you who came on
to me that night.” She noted. “Maybe to begin with,” Lauren
acknowledged chuckling softly, “but, you definitely pressed the
issue later,” she commented lightly. “Should we leave?” Normani
asked the other two as she looked hesitantly between Camila and
Lauren. “No we should get popcorn!” Dinah said evidently
enjoying the discussion going on in front of her. “Guys,” Lauren
protested halfheartedly, smiling brightly as she reached for
Camila’s hand and took it in her own. “I’m sorry alright,” she
apologised to her girlfriend chuckling again. “You just looked so
adorable, what was I supposed to do? I didn’t mean to be a
tease;Ijust wanted to kiss you, is that so wrong? ”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 4/11 “I don’t know,” Camila said dropping
her voice low and shuffling closer to Lauren on the bench slightly.
“You tell me,” she said leaning forward and kissing Lauren on the
lips, one of her hands reaching up to caress her girlfriends face
tenderly, the other releasing Lauren’s to push up her girlfriend’s
jumper and find the soft flesh of her stomach where she started
tracing small circles with her fingertips lightly. Lauren knew it was
a trap, knew that Camila was trying to prove a point but she didn’t
care because she enjoyed the feel of her girlfriend’s lips against
her own more than almost any other sensation in the world. This
was why, when she felt Camila’s tongue probe at the entrance to
her mouth, she opened it willingly, allowing herself to experience
 the kiss, to really get lost in it, to take pleasure from it. She felt
Camila suck on her tongue gently, her mouth draw against her
own lips, her teeth pull on the bottom one carefully for a moment
before their tongues were colliding together rhythmically again.
When Camila felt Lauren’s hands start to roam, her left finding its
way up to the back of Camila’s neck, the right settling on her hip,
she pulled back, separating their mouths, Lauren’s eyes remaining
closed until she registered that they were no longer kissing and
she opened them slowly to look at her girlfriend. “I need a drink,”
Camila said simply, standing up from her seat and disappearing to
one of the vending machines to buy a soda, Lauren’s hands
lingering in place and left hovering in the air for a while whilst her
brain caught up with what was going on. “Point taken,” Lauren
called after her and Camila turned in her tracks to smile at her
girlfriend, a large grin in place which made Lauren’s stomach
flutter happily. Lauren swallowed hard watching after her
girlfriend for a beat before clearing her throat and shaking her
head smoothly from side to side as if to rid it from a daze then
turned her attention back towards the others who were all
watching her with obvious smirks on their faces. “Shut up,” she
said to them, pulling over her sandwich and opening the container
briskly, evidently now understanding Camila’s protestations from
earlier. “You’re so whipped,” Normani laughed and Lauren glared
at her in return. “I’m not whipped,” she replied, taking a bite of
her sandwich. “Besides, even if I were, Camila is just as badly
whipped as I am.” “That’s not true,” Normani chuckled. “She’s got
you wrapped around her little finger.” “I am not,” Lauren
responded defensively. “It’s cute,” Normani observed sincerely as
Camila came back over without a drink. “Hey, do you have
another dollar I can borrow please?” she asked Lauren, holding
out a green bill. “The machine won’t take this one.” “Sure,”
Lauren answered without hesitation, reaching in to her bag and
exchanging one of her bills with Camila’s. “Thanks,” Camila said
gratefully, leaning down to peck Lauren on the lips appreciatively
before heading back towards the vending machine. Lauren took
her time putting the bill back in her bag, her eyes fixed firmly on
the task at hand and avoiding the inevitable looks she’d get from
the other girls, their point being well and truly made. “Don’t say
it,” Lauren warned them as she lifted her eyes to look at her
friends, all of whom were laughing to themselves. “I don’t think
we need to, do we?” Normani asked her as she placed a chip in to
her mouth and Lauren rolled her eyes. “What is so wrong with
being whipped anyway?” Lauren asked them, having another bite
of her sandwich. “So I do things for Camila, that’s what girlfriends
are supposed to do isn’t it?” “Yeah of course,” Ally confirmed.
“It’s just that you’re always looking out for her and you’re always
helping her….” “Ithink it’s really sweet how you look out for her,”
Dinah interrupted, taking a sip of her drink. “Don’t listen to her
Lauren.” She advised. “You keep doing what you’re doing.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 5/11 “Yeah but you’re Camila’s friend,” Ally
said to Dinah. “I’m just saying that you seem to be the one in the
relationship who is expected to do everything for her and she lets
you, that’s all.” She continued, addressing Lauren again. “Hey, I’m
Lauren’s friend too,” Dinah responded defensively before Lauren
replied. “Camila doesn’t expect it,” Lauren told her friend, starting
to feel a little put out by the current topic of conversation. “She
appreciates it. Besides, she does things for me too. You don’t
know half of what goes on between us Ally. Please don’t assume
that you do.” “Oh come on,” Ally said disbelievingly. “Are you
seriously telling me that your relationship is equal? I mean it’s
cute and everything.” She noted. “Plus you know that I love
Camila, but you’ve picked her up off the floor more times than I
can count on one hand Lo. What could she have possibly done for
you that even begins to make up for everything that you’ve done
for her?” she asked interestedly. “Ally,” Normani said
meaningfully, surprised at her friends words. “What is wrong with
you?” she asked. “Don’t pretend that you guys don’t think the
same,” Ally replied looking between both Dinah and Normani,
finding no agreement from either of them. “Really?” she asked.
“Am Ithe only person that’s ever wondered about this?”
“Wondered about what?” Camila asked sitting back down beside
Lauren, a can of coke in one hand which she took a sip from
gratefully. “Nothing,” Lauren said, placing a hand on Camila’s back
and rubbing it reassuringly. “We were just talking about
 relationships that’s all,” Ally informed Camila who lowered her
drink back on to the table before her and picked up her bag of
chips. “What about them?” Camila asked, looking at Lauren who
was glaring at Ally. “It doesn’t matter,” Lauren said pointedly
through gritted teeth. “Yeah it was nothing exciting,” Dinah
agreed, waving her hand dismissively. “We were just saying that
sometimes one person in a relationship seems to do more for the
other person, that’s all.” Ally continued regardless. When Lauren
noticed the look on Camila’s face as realisation dawned on her
she struggled to fight the urge to reach over the table and strike
Ally for being the cause of its presence there. “That’s what you
think?” Camila asked turning to Lauren, the chip she’d been about
to eat now forgotten as she lowered it back in to the bag in her
hand. “No, not all,” Lauren replied honestly, placing a hand on the
side of Camila’s neck. “I’ve never thought that. Never.” Camila
turned to look at the others and Dinah gave her a small reassuring
smile. “You do though?” Camila asked addressing Ally. “It’s not a
bad thing,” Ally replied uncertainly, evidently realising her mistake
in pursuing the topic and regretting it enormously. “I mean, it’s
just that Lauren seems to do an awful lot for you…” “You think I’m
taking advantage of her?” Camila asked interceding, her mind
connecting the dots easily, her intellect sharp. “No you’re
misunderstanding what I’m saying,” Ally tried to back track. “I
don’t think I am,” Camila disagreed, placing her chips on the table
and pinching the bridge of her nose for a moment before rubbing
 at her temple with her fingers, her head dropped low. “I don’t
think you do it on purpose,” Ally assured her, not realising that
she wasn’t helping the situation in the slightest. “I mean, it’s just
Lauren has to do more for you because you can’t do things for
yourself.” “Ally,” Normani warned but the damage was already
done and Camila lifted her gaze to look at the smaller girl. Lauren
studied her girlfriend closely, her hand still rubbing her back
supportively and she could see the hurt in her eyes, Ally’s
implication clear.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 6/11 “You think I can’t look after myself?”
she asked, her voice cracking slightly as she tried to push back the
pain she was feeling. “Camila,” Ally said looking at the others for
help but finding herself well and truly out on a limb, alone. “It’s
just…it’s cute…you know…but…even you have to admit that
Lauren does everything for you.” “That’s not true,” Camila replied
meekly. “Is it?” she asked turning to Lauren uncertainly. “Of
course it’s not,” Lauren told her confidently, the urge to hit Ally
intensifying with every word that came out of her mouth.
“Lauren,” Ally protested slightly. “Come on…” “Jesus Christ Ally!”
Lauren said, not even bothering to mask the irritation she was
feeling. “Would you just shut the fuck up?” “You know, I just
remembered that I need to go,” Camila said, pretending to look at
the clock on the wall and standing up to collect her bag from the
floor. “I’ll…uh…see you later.” she said turning to leave. “Camz,”
Lauren said standing up quickly beside her girlfriend and placing a
hand on her shoulder to stay her. “Where are you going? Please,
just, sit back down ok?” she pleaded but Camila put a hand on
Lauren’s and squeezed it reassuringly before lifting it off. “Iforgot I
had that thing…” Camila said not quite meeting Lauren’s eyes.
“What thing?” Lauren asked knowingly. “A meeting with the
guidance counsellor,” she lied easily and Lauren placed a hand on
her cheek, forcing Camila to look up at her. “Camz,” she said and
Camila closed her eyes, reaching her hand up to sit on top of
Lauren’s. “Please stay ok?” “I’m sorry, I really have to go,” Camila
told Lauren, her thumb stroking the back of her girlfriend’s for a
moment, her eyes still closed. “I’ll….speak to you later alright?”
she asked before finally opening her eyes again and planting a soft
kiss against Lauren’s lips. Lauren reached down and held Camila’s
wrist firmly in her own, preventing her from leaving. “Camz,”
Lauren said, as Ally stood from her seat. “Camila, I’m sorry,” Ally
apologised, but Camila put up her hand to stop her. “No, it’s ok…I
just…I forgot I had this meeting…” she continued with her
charade. “You know what my memory is like…” she added self-
critically and Lauren held her wrist tighter, refusing to let her
leave, more furious with Ally than she’d ever been in her entire
life. “Camz, please sit back down?” Lauren requested, but she
could see it in her girlfriend’s eyes that she was barely holding it
together enough to maintain the façade she’d chosen to adopt.
“I’m sorry,” she apologised again, her eyes watery. “I just, it’s
 really important. I can’t miss it.” “I’ll walk you there,” Lauren
offered, understanding that nothing she’d say would get Camila to
sit back down, her already fragile selfesteem broken by Ally’s
words, the heightened selfconscious she’d been feeling earlier
now doubled. “No please,” Camila almost pleaded. “I can walk
myself there. Just…stay here and finish your lunch.” She told
Lauren, placing a hand on her girlfriend’s chest. Lauren relaxed
her grip on Camila’s wrist despite every voice in her head telling
to do the contrary and she could see the gratitude in her
girlfriend’s eyes. “I’ll see you after school?” she asked Lauren
tentatively, her hand finding the taller girls and entwining their
fingers. “Of course,” Lauren reassured her, nodding her head in
the affirmative. “I’ll wait for you outside Miss Lovato’s class…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 7/11 “No,” Camila said, “I’ll meet you in the
library.” She told her looking in Ally’s direction, defiant pride in
her eyes. Lauren lowered her voice to barely above a whisper,
pulling Camila closer under the pretence of kissing her on the
cheek, instead speaking into her ear quietly. “Please don’t do
this,” Lauren begged her. “Please…I don’t care, you know that.
You know I don’t think that about you, about us.” “I know,”
Camila said sadly, resting the side of her cheek against Lauren’s. “I
know you don’t,” she reassured her. “Then don’t do this,” Lauren
said, wrapping her arms around Camila and hugging her, afraid to
let her go. “Just stay here…with me.” “I can’t,” Camila said
 hugging Lauren back. “I’m sorry.” “Why?” Lauren asked her.
“Because I care,” Camila answered her honestly, “and because I
think that. I just…I didn’t want to admit it.” She finished, turning
her head to kiss the side of Lauren’s cheek. “Please just let me go
for now? I promise. I’ll speak to you later. I promise… please?”
Lauren fought every urge in her to keep Camila held firmly in her
arms and let her go, granting her request. “Thank you,” Camila
said appreciatively and Lauren could see how much it meant to
her that she hadn’t pressed it any further. “I’ll find you in the
library,” Camila reassured her, kissing her on the lips delicately
again. “Camila you don’t have to leave,” Ally said and Camila
turned to face her. “Yeah I do,” she said quickly dropping her gaze
to the floor again. “I have a meeting.” She told her, quickly lifting
her head to glance at Dinah and Normani. “Enjoy the rest of your
lunch.” She said hurriedly, lowering her gaze to the floor again.
“Mila,” Dinah said standing up as Camila turned and started
walking towards the door, but she didn’t stop at the sound of her
name and eventually she’d disappeared out of sight. “Aren’t you
going to go after her?” Dinah asked Lauren surprised that she’d
remained firmly in place. “You know that she doesn’t have a
meeting with the guidance counsellor Lauren. That story is
complete crap.” “I know,” Lauren said quietly. “Then what are you
doing?” Dinah asked. “She doesn’t want me to go with her,”
Lauren told her. “She wants to be alone. Just…let her.” Dinah met
Lauren’s gaze and understood. Going after Camila wasn’t the right
thing to do and it would only push her further away into herself or
make her lash out, neither option particularly desirable in the
current situation. “Lo, I’m sorry,” Ally apologised. “I didn’t mean
to upset her, I wasn’t thinking, Ijust…” “Please just…don’t fucking
talk to me right now Ally,” Lauren cut her off harshly, picking up
her things and throwing her bag over her shoulder, “I’m so fucking
angry at you,” she told her severely before heading in the
direction of the cafeteria door. Normani made a move to follow
her but Dinah stopped her with her hand. “I’ll go,” she offered,
casting a look at Ally, not really wanting to be left alone with her
for fear of what she might say. “Ok,” Normani agreed as if reading
Dina’s thoughts and the taller girl collected her own things and
departed after Lauren, catching up with her at the door. “Shit,”
Ally cursed sitting back down. “What the fuck were you thinking
Ally?” Normani asked her and Ally lowered her head in to her
hands and shook it, not having a ready answer to the question
and feeling awful about the whole situation. “Honestly,” Ally said
lifting her head. “I have no fucking idea.” She answered truthfully
as she met Normani’s sympathetic look.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 8/11 When she’d left the cafeteria, Camila
had made her way to the very place she’d planned to meet up
with Lauren later, her mind unable to conjure up any other more
appropriate destination to wallow in her selfcontempt. She sat
down in a secluded corner of the library and rested her head on
 top of her forearms against the desk, her thoughts too
preoccupied to do anything productive such as studying or
reading, her mood reflective. Camila had always wondered
whether perhaps she took Lauren for granted, whether she took
advantage of the fact that Lauren wanted to take care of her, of
the fact that she was always more than willing to help her with
her bag, or give her lifts to and from school. She’d ignored those
feelings though, Lauren reassuring her that it was fine, that it was
normal for girlfriends to do those things and so Camila had let her,
not having any previous experience on the matter herself. She’d
trusted Lauren’s reassurances and so had suppressed that nagging
voice in the back of her head somewhere that she could no longer
hear it. The knowledge that Ally thought exactly the same thing,
that she’d said what Camila had feared all along out loud, brought
every insecurity that Camila had back to the forefront of her mind
again to trouble her. Now she faced the same selfdoubt, the same
sense of not being good enough for Lauren, that she’d felt before,
festering in her thoughts, polluting them like an oil spill spreading
throughout the waters which it corrupted. Camila knew she was
defective, she knew she couldn’t do certain things for herself,
knew she needed help, that she wasn’t selfsufficient, but to hear
someone else say it, someone she thought was a friend stung her
more than she’d expected it to, the words echoing in her ears
tauntingly, “because you can’t do things for yourself.” It’s not like
she didn’t try to fend for herself, like she just sat around waiting
 for others to do everything for her. She tried, she tried every day
and it upset her to hear people insinuate that she didn’t, that she
just allowed Lauren to do it in her place. “Like I’m lazy,” Camila
thought to herself. “Hey,” Camila heard someone say and she
lifted up her head from where it had been resting on her arms
atop the table, halfexpecting to see Lauren but surprised to find
Rachel, her arms loaded with a number of library books, watching
her with a concerned expression on her face. “Are you alright?”
she asked, placing her books down on to the table. “You’re not
going to have another seizure or anything?” she asked. “I mean,
you said you were fine when I saw you in French earlier.” “I am,”
Camila reassured her, propping her head up in her right hand, her
elbow resting against the desk solidly. “Physically I mean. I’m not
going to have another seizure, don’t worry.” “Are you sure?”
Rachel asked, pulling out an empty chair and descending in to it.
“This is a pretty secluded spot you’ve chosen here Camila.” She
noted, looking around. “If you did have a seizure it could be
maybe a month or more before someone found you. Then you’d
just be a modern day version of Moaning Myrtle.” “Didn’t she
haunt a bathroom?” Camila asked. “I’d like to think that if I were a
ghost I’d probably find something more fun to do with my day
then haunt the library anyway,” Camila replied amused. “Like
maybe haunt the cafeteria?” she asked her jokingly. “Not really as
much fun if you can’t eat the food there though,” Camila
commented neutrally. “Well the cafeteria food is more likely to
 kill you than anything else,” she said laughing. “How anyone eats
it is beyond me.” “It’s not that bad,” Camila informed her
seriously. “Some of it is edible at least.” “I’ll take your word for it,”
Rachel said, picking up her books and standing again. “Anyway, I
was just checking that you weren’t about to start convulsing or
anything equally as exciting.” She told her, pushing the chair back
under the table. “I’ll leave you to….whatever it is you were doing,”
Rachel said turning to leave. “Hey Rachel,” Camila said and the
blonde haired girl turned around to face her again. “Thanks,” she
said gratefully. “What for?” Rachel asked, stepping back over to
the table.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 9/11 “I heard that you helped,” Camila
explained. “When I had my seizure I mean,” she clarified when
Rachel looked confused. “Iforgot to thank you for it earlier.” “Oh
right,” Rachel said smiling. “Well, that’s ok. I’m just glad that
you’re feeling better.” Rachel lifted a hand to point to the fading
scar on Camila’s right temple where she’d knocked her head
against the desk as she’d fallen. “That sounded horrific when you
did it by the way,” Rachel commented. “I thought for sure that
you’d fractured your skull or something.” “It wouldn’t be the first
time,” Camila said thoughtfully and Rachel gave her a questioning
look. “Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked sensing something
was wrong. “Yeah fine,” Camila replied and Rachel looked around
the vicinity as if just realising something. “Where’s Lauren?” she
 asked, pulling out the chair again and sitting down. “Did you two
have a fight?” she queried. “You’d love that wouldn’t you?”
Camila asked and Rachel smirked amused. “Perhaps,” Rachel
admitted playfully, her tone soon turning serious though. “No but
really, are you two alright? Normally you’re inseparable. It drives
me crazy.” “We’re ok,” Camila said and Rachel made an overly
theatrical sad face in an attempt to make the brunette laugh,
achieving her task when a light chuckle escaped Camila’s lips.
“Sorry to disappoint you.” “You really have,” Rachel informed her,
shaking her head and resting her elbows on to the table in order
to lean closer to Camila. “So then if it’s not Lauren you’re upset
about what is it?” she asked. “Well…” Camila started to open up,
but closed her mouth just as quickly, not wanting to share
something so personal with Rachel, who she barely knew. “You
can talk to me you know,” Rachel prompted. “I won’t tell anyone,
I promise.” “I just, I’m not really good at talking about how I feel.”
Camila explained, her head still resting in her hand as she looked
at Rachel. “I normally just sit and think about things.” “How’s that
working for you?” Rachel asked interestedly. “Did you have any
great epiphanies?” “Not yet,” Camila told her. “You?” she asked.
“The last big one that I had was that I was into girls,” Rachel said
making a face as she recalled the memory. “I was sitting in my
room watching Pretty Little Liars and Shay Mitchell was on the
screen and I remember, Ithought, ‘wow, I’m totally a lesbian’.”
“That was how you came to that conclusion?” Camila asked
 amused, “You saw an actress on the screen? “That and the fact
that I’d secretly been dating girls for the last six months,” Rachel
told her, a broad grin on her face. “Including your lovely
girlfriend,” she shared, although she already knew Camila was
aware of that fact. “She was kind of the one that got away to be
honest.” “Well, you can’t have her back,” Camila chuckled. “She’s
with me now and I’m not letting her go.” “Yet, here you are
talking to me when you’re upset instead of her,” Rachel noted
and Camila lifted her head. “Besides, it’s not her that I want, you
know that…” “I should go,” Camila said, making a move to stand
up, starting to feel uncomfortable with where this conversation
was going and realising that Rachel was at least correct on one
point. She wanted to talk to Lauren; she wanted to open up to
her, just, she’d not wanted to do it in front of the others, in front
of Ally and so she’d let her emotions get the better of her once
again when she’d not allowed her to leave the cafeteria with her.
“I need to find Lauren,” Camila told her, picking up her bag. “Ok,”
she said, standing up too. “Just…before you go can I ask you one
thing Camila?” she asked. “I guess,” Camila granted pausing to
wait for a moment and being taken completely by surprise when
Rachel lunged forward and crashed their lips together.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64624283983/trialsand-
tribulationschapter42 10/11 Camila flinched back at the contact,
her brain trying to keep up with what was happening and her
hands pushing against Rachel’s chest forcefully trying to separate
them, the other girls’ hands around her torso holding her in place.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Lauren’s voice came from across
the room and Camila didn’t know whether to feel relieved or
devastated that she’d interrupted and ended Rachel’s unwanted
advances. “Lauren,” Camila spluttered, wiping at her mouth with
the back of her sleeve, feeling as though she’d been violated.
Lauren ignored her but stepped closer and Camila looked to Dinah
who was studying her, a neutral expression on her face that she
couldn’t read. “Shit, listen,” Camila said, but Lauren wasn’t
looking at her, her eyes firmly fixed on Rachel who was meeting
her gaze levelly. “I thought stuff like this only happened in the
movies,” Rachel commented, glancing over Lauren’s shoulder at
Dinah a moment before meeting her eyes again. “Your timing was
impeccable. I couldn’t have planned this if I’d tried.” “Lauren, it
wasn’t what you think…” Camila said desperately. “I’m sorry,
please, you have to believe me…” “She’s lying,” Rachel said
sensing an opportunity. “I told you, she’d fall for anyone that gave
her the slightest bit of attention Lauren. You’re not special. You’re
just the first person to make her feel like she is, that’s all.” Lauren
was about to hit Rachel, her anger towards both Ally and the girl
in front of her finally reaching boiling point and anxious to
manifest itself in to something physical. Unfortunately however,
she wasn’t given the chance because Camila punched Rachel
instead, her fist colliding with the blondes face solidly, the sound
 of the contact making Lauren wince as her girlfriend said, “Fuck
you,” defiantly.
Chapter 43
A/N: Ok….so please do not kill me. “Hey,” Ally said, her voice small
as she knocked on the open door of Lauren’s bedroom, Clara
having let her in downstairs on her way out. “Can I come in?” she
asked the brunette, entering hesitantly, Lauren’s eyes watching
her closely from where she lounged on the bed, Camila’s diary
opened in her hands where she’d been reading it. “Looks like you
already have,” Lauren noted abrasively, placing the diary on to the
nightstand beside her and shifting her position so that she was
now sat upright against the head of the bed. “Lo, please?” Ally
said, slowly making her way in to the room further, her hands
fidgeting nervously together in front of her. “What?” Lauren
asked brusquely, her eyes conveying the resentment she felt
towards her friend. “What do you want Ally?” she practically spat.
“I want to apologise to you for earlier,” Ally told her seriously and
Lauren snorted derisively in response to the words, knowing that
her friends apology wouldn’t change what had happened,
wouldn’t magically make everything alright, wouldn’t improve the
situation in the slightest. “Don’t you think it’s a little bit late for
that?” Lauren asked sarcastically, eyeing Ally meaningfully as she
came to a stop at the end of the bed. “Listen, I’m really sorry for
what I said Lo,” Ally told her sincerely. “Honestly, I feel terrible
about what happened. I wasn’t thinking properly…” “No shit,”
 Lauren interrupted, muttering under her breath. “I’m so sorry,”
Ally apologised again. “Please tell me what I can do to make it up
to you?” “There’s nothing you can do Ally,” Lauren replied simply,
leaning forward to meet her friend’s gaze squarely. “What’s done
is done now. You can’t take it back. You can’t make it right. You
can’t wish it out of existence.” “I know you’re mad at me…” Ally
started but the sound of Lauren’s sardonic laugh stopped her
words in their tracks. “Damn right I’m mad at you,” Lauren
interceded laughing again. “Do you have any idea what you did?
Do you?” “Is Camila alright?” Ally asked, having not spoken to
Lauren since she’d walked out at lunch but hearing about the
incident in the library from Normani. “Do you even care?” Lauren
asked her interestedly. “Of course I do,” Ally said, her voice
growing loud, evidently insulted by Lauren’s insinuation. “Camila’s
my friend too…” “Oh, she’s your friend again now is she?” Lauren
asked, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and standing
up, “That’s strange because earlier she wasn’t good enough for
me. She was just taking advantage of me, using me…isn’t that
what you said?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 2/11 “I never said that,” Ally protested.
“You know that isn’t what I meant Lo, I’m just concerned about
you…” “Fine,” Lauren conceded, ignoring the latter half of Ally’s
reply. “Maybe you didn’t say those words exactly but that’s what
you implied and it amounts to the same thing.” “I didn’t say
 anything that wasn’t true though,” Ally replied, her voice firm.
“You do a lot for Camila…” “Willingly,” Lauren cut her off angry. “I
do it willingly because Ilove her…” “Now,” Ally interrupted, her
own voice rising with irritation. “You love her now Lo but who’s to
say you’ll even still be together in a month’s time. You can’t throw
away your life for someone who…” “I’m not throwing my life
away,” Lauren objected furiously. “Jesus, are you even listening to
yourself?” Ally asked her. “You used to be a straight A student Lo
and now you’re barely scraping a C. You even failed your last
history exam or don’t you remember that?” “That’s nothing to do
with Camz,” Lauren argued. “Seriously?” Ally asked her in
disbelief, “Because your grades were fine before the two of you
started dating or had you forgotten?” “What’s it got to do with
you anyway?” Lauren questioned ignoring the question. “You
found out about my grades by accident…” “Exactly,” Ally
interjected. “If it’s not a problem then why are you hiding it?” “I’m
not hiding it,” Lauren replied. “It’s got nothing to do with you or
anyone else for that matter.” “Does Camila even know?” Ally
asked, Lauren’s silence speaking louder than any response ever
could have. “She doesn’t, does she? Why haven’t you told her?”
“Camila has enough problems without taking on mine,” Lauren
replied infuriated. “She’s got the deposition to think about, her
seizures, her speech…” “See and this is exactly my point,” Ally cut
her off. “You’ll gladly take on her problems, help her through
them but she doesn’t do the same for you. That is not a
 relationship Lauren. You’re lying to her.” “I’m not lying to her,”
Lauren griped. “Ijust haven’t told her.” “It’s the same thing!” Ally
cried. “It’s not the same,” Lauren responded. “Oh really?” Ally
questioned, shaking her head. “So if Camila asked you how you
did on your last Biology assignment then you’d tell her that you
got a C minus?” Lauren glared at Ally, knowing that she was
caught between a rock and a hard place. The truth was that her
grades had been on a slippery downward slope for a while now;
ever since the B minus she’d gotten on her math test around the
time of Camila’s nosebleeds. Lauren’s mind was so preoccupied
with Camila that she’d become progressively less interested in her
studies, instead spending her free time researching Camila’s
condition or watching her girlfriend as she read, easily distracted
by the presence of the smaller girl. Lauren hadn’t told Camila
because she knew how she’d react to the revelation, she’d
already experienced it. Camila had blamed herself when she’d
found out about Lauren’s lower grade in math, had thought it was
because they’d been spending too much time together and there
was no way that Lauren was going to let her accept responsibility
for something which was entirely her own fault. “That’s what I
thought,” Ally commented knowingly when Lauren didn’t reply
and the taller girl ran a hand through her hair in agitation. “You
can’t tell her,” Lauren said worriedly. “She can’t know, alright?”
“Why?” Ally asked. “She deserves to know Lauren and she’ll find
out eventually,” she continued, “You can’t keep it a secret
forever, the school will realise something’s not right soon enough
and they’ll let your parents know. I’m surprised that they haven’t
already to be honest.” She mused. “You’re so caught up dealing
with all the stuff Camila’s going through that you’re neglecting
yourself…” “It’s not her fault though,” Lauren replied heatedly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 3/11 “No,” Ally responded confidently.
“You’re right Lo, it’s not. I see that now.” She agreed. “I was
wrong earlier because I can’t blame Camila for not supporting you
when she doesn’t even know that anything is going on.” She
paused for a moment to take a closer step towards her friend and
placed a hand on her arm comfortingly. “I was right when I said
that your relationship isn’t equal though,” she continued,
“because all the time you’re not being truthful with her it can’t
be. You treat her like she’s the most fragile person in the world
but she can look after herself Lo, she can and she is. Despite your
crappy grades Camila’s still passing and despite her problems
she’s still working hard. She can balance your relationship with
the rest of her life…you can’t.” “You have no idea what it is like,”
Lauren told her, tears stinging her eyes, her voice catching in her
throat as she finally opened up. “She works so fucking hard at
everything and it makes no difference because one moment she’ll
be fine and the next she’s lying on the intensive care unit in the
hospital unable to breathe for herself.” Lauren continued, crying
openly now. “I worry about her all the time,” Lauren admitted.
“Whenever I’m not with her all I can think about is whether she’s
alright or if she’s punched her fist in to the wall because she
doesn’t know how to deal with her feelings.” Lauren sucked in a
deep breath at finally allowing herself to confess to someone how
she was feeling. “I love her but I’m so terrified of losing her that
it’s crippling me,” Lauren shared, placing a hand over her chest.
“Camila will be fine Lo,” Ally tried to reassure her. “You don’t
fucking know that,” Lauren replied harshly. “You don’t know her
the way that I do,” she told her. “You’re not the one who has to
put her back together again when she’s feeling so low that she
wishes she were dead, when she hates herself so much that
nothing you can say will convince her otherwise. You aren’t the
one who has to watch her cry until the point where she can barely
breathe through her sobs and you don’t have to see her when she
barely has the energy to pull herself out of bed,” Lauren
explained. “I do!” she said, jabbing a finger into her chest, “I have
to see her like that and I feel so helpless that it kills me. It fucking
kills me Ally; to know that someone as smart and as kind as Camz,
someone who’s so beautiful, inside and out, someone who tries
her hardest every single fucking day cannot look at themself in
the mirror; can’t stand to have one picture of themself up on the
wall in their bedroom.” “Lo,” Ally said stepping forward to pull her
friend in to a hug but the taller girl pushed her back, wiping at her
eyes with the back of her hand furiously. “Don’t tell me she’ll be
alright,” Lauren told her, struggling to contain her tears as they
 flowed freely down her cheeks. “You don’t fucking know that
Ally.” She repeated again. “It was only two weeks ago that she
could have died,” Lauren reminded her. “It’s like we’ll be given a
reprieve where we think that we can be happy and then
something else will come along to burst the bubble. We have to
start from scratch all over again and I have to watch her try to
rebuild herself all over again.” “Lo, this isn’t healthy,” Ally told
her. “I know you love her but this isn’t fair on you….on either of
you.” “I can’t leave her,” Lauren said, “I can’t Ally…” “You’re a
fucking mess Lo,” Ally informed her truthfully, “I mean look at the
state of you.” She advised, gesturing at Lauren with her hand.
Lauren laughed at the irony of Ally’s words, having said almost the
same thing to Camila herself on a previous occasion. “I love her,”
Lauren declared. “I do Ally.” She confirmed defiantly. “She needs
me to be strong for her and I will, even if it’s painful and despite
how much it hurts…she needs me to be there for her.” “Who is
there for you Lo?” Ally asked her seriously. “You’re there for her,
you are, everyone can see how much you love her and she loves
you too, but, you won’t let her be there for you, not the way that
you need her to, not completely, because you know that
emotionally she can’t be, she can’t…” “She would though,” Lauren
interrupted. “She’d be there for me…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 4/11 “I think you’re right,” Ally said, “I think
she would be, but, you don’t believe that, you don’t Lauren or
 else you’d let her.” “I can’t put that on her,” Lauren admitted. “I
can’t do it Ally.” “So you suffer in silence?” Ally asked. “After all
the times that you’ve advised her to open up, to share how she’s
feeling, to be truthful and honest with you…” “I do tell her
sometimes,” Lauren informed her. “I do Ally. You don’t know
what we talk about, what we’re like together…I’ve shared things
with her.” “So you’ve told her that sometimes you’re
overwhelmed?” Ally questioned. “That you feel like you’re
suffocating because you don’t know what to do, because you’re
still a kid and this is a lot for anyone to deal with,” Ally continued.
“You’ve told her that all you do is sit around worrying about her,
that you’re GPA is suffering because of it. You’ve told her all
that?” “You know I haven’t,” Lauren said wiping at her eyes again.
“You’re a hypocrite Lo,” Ally responded. “You expect her to open
up to you and then you don’t trust her enough to be able to deal
with your feelings…” Lauren opened her mouth to say something
in response but Ally held up her hand to stop her before she’d
even started. “You tell her that you love her, you show her.” Ally
went on quickly. “You share every happy feeling that you’ve ever
had but you won’t share the negative. You press her to talk but
you won’t…” Ally walked over to the nightstand and picked up
Camila’s notebook emphatically. “She trusts you with everything
Lo,” Ally acknowledged. “Every little thought and feeling but you
don’t trust her.” “Jesus Ally would you open your eyes?” Lauren
said, grabbing the diary back from her. “I can’t tell her, I
 can’t…look what happened today…” “That was my fault,” Ally
admitted, “and I’ll apologise to her because I can see now that I
was wrong. I was wrong. I’m sorry Lo,” she finished. “This is such
fucking shit,” Lauren said, running a hand through her hair and
wiping at her eyes again as she sat back down on the bed. “Why is
everything such fucking shit?” she asked dejectedly. Ally stepped
over to the bed and sat down next to Lauren, taking her friends
hand in her own and stroking the back of it gently with her thumb.
“Why can’t does everything have to be so complicated all the
fucking time?” Lauren asked resting her head on Ally’s shoulder.
“Why can’t we just be like every other couple at school?” she
contemplated. “Why can’t our biggest worry be where we’re
going to go on our date? Instead we have all this fucking drama to
deal with,” she said, lifting her hand up emphatically and dropping
it back down again a moment later. “Normani told me what
happened in the library,” Ally shared with Lauren. “She punched
Rachel,” Lauren stated simply. “She wouldn’t stop Ally.” She
divulged. “Dinah and I had to pull her away and even then she
kept trying to go back again. I had to pin her against the wall to
stop her and she still didn’t calm down for another ten minutes.”
“Normani said she broke Rachel’s nose,” Ally halfasked. “Is that
true?” “I don’t know,” Lauren answered shaking her head sadly,
wiping at a tear which was sliding down her cheek. “I wouldn’t be
surprised if she had though, there was blood everywhere.” Lauren
glanced at the floor for a moment as if deciding whether to go on.
“She fractured her hand,” Lauren finally disclosed. “She broke her
fourth metacarpal and they had to put a cast on it.” “Lo,” Ally said
sympathetically, hugging her friend closer. “Plus she’s been
suspended,” Lauren continued. “I mean, they gave her inschool
suspension for two weeks, but, her parents are seriously
considering pulling her out of classes and enrolling her in virtual
school now.” She shared. “What?” Ally asked surprised. “They
can’t do that. What does Camila think about it?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 5/11 “I don’t know,” Lauren said honestly,
“Sinu wouldn’t let me see her when I went round after school.
She’s been grounded, no visitors, no phone, nothing.” Lauren
paused for a moment to meet Ally’s concerned look. “I need to
speak to her Ally,” Lauren announced evidently stressed. “I just
want to know that she’s alright and I have to tell her that I’m not
mad at her…she needs to know that. I know it wasn’t her. I know
she didn’t reciprocate anything…” “What do you mean?” Ally
asked confused. “I mean I saw Rachel fucking kissing her in the
library,” Lauren spat, still furious at the thought of it. “Didn’t
Normani tell you?” she asked and Ally shook her head. “I wanted
some space because you’d pissed me off so much and I went to
library with Dinah only to find Rachel trying it on with Camz.”
Lauren stood up, needing to do something active, the memory
making her angry all over again. “Rachel fucking kissed her and
then Camila tried to push her away but she wouldn’t stop,”
 Lauren told Ally pacing, her tone low and incensed. “So she hit
her?” Ally asked trying to picture the scene in her head. “No not
straight away,” Lauren informed her. “Rachel was trying to stir
things up when she knew I’d seen; she tried to lie, to blame
Camila.” She explained. “She said I wasn’t special, suggested
Camila was easy and that she’d fall for anyone that gave her the
slightest bit of attention.” “I’m surprised you didn’t hit her,” Ally
commented thoughtfully. “I was going to fucking hit her,” Lauren
said seriously, “but unfortunately Camz beat me to it and
everything is so fucked up now that I don’t think it’ll ever right
itself again.” “Lo, I really am sorry,” Ally apologised sincerely.
“This is all my fault…” “No,” Lauren disagreed meeting Ally’s eyes.
“It’s not,” she told her sighing. “You were…” Lauren paused as her
phone rang and she picked it up eagerly when she saw Camila’s
home number on her screen. “Camz?” she asked eagerly, sitting
back down on the bed quickly. “Oh,” she said slightly disappointed
when it wasn’t Camila, but Sinu on the other end of the phone.
“No, she’s not here,” Lauren said casting a worried glance in Ally’s
direction, her friend watching her with an inquiring look on her
face. “No, honestly, she’s not here. I haven’t seen her since
lunch.” Lauren listened intently for a minute. “Have you tried the
beach?” Lauren suggested; concern evident on her face. “Well,
what was she like when she left was she alright?” Lauren asked
anxiously. “Did she leave a note or something?” Ally watched as
Lauren stood up again and began pacing the floor in front of the
 bed, running her free hand through as a distraction. “Well, I’ll go
out and help you look.” Lauren offered, “No, but…” she tried,
pausing whilst she listened to Sinu again. “Ok,” Lauren finally
agreed, glancing over at Ally. “Yeah, ok, I’ll wait here in case she
comes over…of course, yeah I’ll let you know straight away…can
you…ok, thanks.” Lauren finished, the dial tone ringing in her ears
loudly as Sinu disconnected. “What’s going on?” Ally asked
uneasily standing up. “Camz isn’t in her room,” Lauren told her.
“Her mom said she’s slipped out and they can’t find her
anywhere.” “Did they try calling her?” Ally asked. “Her mom has
her phone,” Lauren replied apprehensively. “What if she’s done
something stupid?” Lauren asked biting on her fingernails
fretfully. “Fuck Ally what if she’s…” “She’s probably on her way
here,” Ally said, gripping Lauren’s arms reassuringly. “You know
what Camila is like Lo,” she continued. “She can’t leave a
disagreement or an argument alone. She’ll want to resolve it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 6/11 “Right,” Lauren said still restless.
“Yeah, you’re right; she’s probably on her way here as we speak.”
She wasn’t. “Seriously Ally, where the fuck is she?” Lauren asked
as she walked back and forth across her room, burning a
figurative hole in the floor beneath her feet. “It’s been over an
hour. If she were coming here she’d have arrived by now.”
“Lauren you need to try not to worry,” Ally said but even she felt
nervous about the whereabouts of their friend. “I can’t,” she said,
“I am worried. I’m always fucking worried. Where the hell is she?”
“Why don’t you sit back down?” Ally suggested. “I can’t sit back
down,” Lauren said, “you know what,” she went on, reaching for
her car keys on the nightstand beside Camila’s diary. “Fuck this.
I’m going out to look for her.” “What about Camila’s mom?” Ally
queried. “Didn’t she want you to wait here for her in case she
showed up?” “My brothers in his room,” Lauren said, “and my
mom will be back any minute. If she turns up, they’ll be here. I
can’t sit around waiting any longer.” “Where are you going to
go?” Ally asked. “She could be anywhere Lauren…” “No,” Lauren
said thinking, and having an idea, “she’s not anywhere.” “What do
you mean?” Ally questioned. “Ithink I know where she is,” Lauren
said. “Where?” Ally replied confused. “Where it all started,”
Lauren told her, holding up a hand to stay Ally as she started to
stand up. “No, just, can you wait here?” she enquired.
“Please…just in case?” “Ok,” Ally agreed. “Yeah alright.” “Thanks
Ally,” Lauren said gratefully before turning on her heel and
disappearing out the door. She made her way to her car hurriedly,
jumping behind the wheel and igniting the engine to life swiftly,
pulling away from the curb, her mind focused on only one thing,
finding Camila. She wasn’t sure that she’d find her, didn’t know
whether her hunch would be right but, she had to try, she had to
do something. She couldn’t just sit around waiting, not while
Camila was out there, all alone, thinking God only knew what.
Always thinking, Lauren thought to herself. She’s always thinking,
always. “Thank God,” Lauren sighed to herself as she pulled up to
the curb a few minutes later and bounded out the car, barely
stopping long enough to pull her keys out of the ignition and lock
the door. She ran over to Camila who was sat, her back against
the hard stone wall of a building, staring out across the road,
seemingly lost in her own thoughts. “Camz,” she said, crouching
down beside the small girl who was crying quietly as she looked at
the crossing intently, imagining what, Lauren dared not think.
“Hey,” Lauren said, using one hand to turn Camila’s face to meet
her troubled eyes. “What are you doing here?” she asked,
lowering herself on to the floor beside her girlfriend. “Just
thinking,” Camila answered wiping at her eyes with her left hand
the right now enclosed within a hard plaster cast. Lauren reached
over and wiped a tear from Camila’s cheek. “Everyone is really
worried about you,” Lauren told her seriously. “Your mom
phoned, she thinks you’ve run away or worse…she’s…” Lauren
paused as Camila turned her attention back to the lights over the
crossing, distracted by the red glow in the paling light of day.
“Camz,” Lauren said, trying to draw her attention back to her.
“You know it’s funny,” Camila said watching the light change back
to green. “How something so small can determine something so
big,” she commented. “What do you mean?” Lauren asked. “I
mean,” Camila answered. “It’s just a bulb behind a coloured piece
of glass. One bulb.” “Camz, I don’t understand,” Lauren admitted.
“What are you talking about?”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 7/11 “It was here,” she said. “This was
where the accident happened.” “I know that,” Lauren reminded
her softly. “You told me remember Camz?” “What are you doing
here Lauren?” Camila asked sighing, changing topic slightly. “Why
are you here?” “I was worried about you,” Lauren replied
honestly, brushing Camila’s arm supportively. “I came to take you
home.” “I don’t want to go home,” Camila said. “Then come back
to mine,” Lauren encouraged her. “I want to stay here,” Camila
stated simply. “Just…leave me here.” “I can’t do that,” Lauren told
her. “I can’t leave you here Camz.” “Why not?” Camila asked.
“Because Ilove you,” Lauren told her and Camila met her gaze
surprised. “Even after today?” she asked tentatively. “Camz, I
know that you didn’t kiss Rachel,” Lauren informed her. “I know
that you’d never do that to me. I saw what happened. It was her,
it was all her. You tried to push her away…” Camila put the heels
of both her hands against her forehead as she lowered it to her
knees, curling herself up. “Shut up,” Camila said quietly. “Please,
please, please….” She repeated slowly. “Please, shut up, please…”
“Camz,” Lauren said placing a hand on her girlfriends shoulder.
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” “I can’t do this Lauren,” Camila said
lifting her head. “I can’t, I’m sorry. I can’t stay here.” “What do
you mean?” Lauren asked, her stomach dropping horribly. “I’m
leaving,” she told her. “My parents…they’re sending me to an in-
patient rehabilitation centre. They think it’ll help…” “They can’t do
 that,” Lauren said shocked. “They already have,” Camila informed
her. “It’s done.” “Well, we can talk to them….” Lauren stuttered,
feeling side lined by the knowledge. “Maybe they’ll listen if we…”
“I’m not going,” Camila cut her off. “But, you just said…” Lauren
started confused. “They can’t make me,” Camila said, “not if I’m
not here, they can’t…” “Camz what are you saying?” Lauren cut
her off. “I’m leaving,” she repeated again. “Camz, you can’t just
runaway on your own…where are you going to go?” she asked.
“Come with me,” Camila said simply. “We can go together Lauren,
you and me.” Lauren raised her eyebrow surprised. “Camz,” she
began. “No please listen to me,” Camila cut her off. “We can go
somewhere and it’ll be just us. No Rachel, no trial, no school…just
us, together. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? For us to be
together.” “Of course,” Lauren told her, placing a hand on the side
of her face and caressing her cheek gently with her thumb, the
cold stark truth hitting her full in the face. “I want to be with you
more than anything.” “So we’ll go,” Camila said hopefully, “we’ll
go and they won’t be able to separate us.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 8/11 “I can’t do that Camz,” Lauren said,
tears stinging her eyes as she looked at the girl before her, really
looked, finally seeing the truth. “What…but you just said…” Camila
replied puzzled. “You just said that’s what you wanted…for us to
be together.” “I do,” Lauren responded sadly. “I do, I want that so
much Camz, but, I want to be with you.” “You would be,” Camila
said, crying openly. “We would be together Lauren.” “No,” Lauren
said simply. “I want to be with the real you Camz. This isn’t you.
You’re not a quitter. You’re not.” Camila wiped at her face with
the back of her hand and stood up, Lauren hurrying to copy the
smaller girl. “Camz, where are you going?” she asked. “I can’t stay
here now,” Camila answered and Lauren grabbed hold of her
wrist. “I have to go,” she said. “We have to go Lauren.” “Camz, I
have to take you home,” Lauren said. “I already told you I can’t go
home Lauren,” Camila said reaching up a hand to stroke Lauren’s
brow delicately. “Please, just, let’s go somewhere…” “Camz,
you’re sick,” Lauren told her finally understanding. “You’re sick
and you need someone to help you.” “You can help me Lauren,”
she said sadly. “You already do. You can help me and…” “I can’t,”
Lauren disagreed, her own tears coming now, her earlier
conversation with Ally vivid in her memory. “I can’t help you
Camz. I’m sorry. I can’t fix you….” Lauren told Camila, her hands
roaming her body, savouring every last touch that she could. “I’m
not broken,” Camila said. “I’m getting better.” “No,” Lauren said
shaking her head. “You’re not Camz. We’re just…we’re going
round in circles and we can’t anymore…I can’t.” “But….Ilove you,”
Camila said stepping back. “I know and I love you too…so
much…but, we can’t keep doing this Camz,” Lauren said, stroking
Camila’s neck and closing the distance between them again. “This
isn’t right, it’s too hard…” “Please don’t do this,” Camila pleaded,
“please…I need you….” “I need you…” Lauren said closing her eyes
 and leaning her forehead against Camila’s, wondering how they
got here. “I need you to get better Camz and you can’t do that
here…with me.” “I can,” Camila said desperately. “I can, just…I’ll
have more therapy ok…I promise, I won’t…I won’t hit anyone
else….please? We’ll…it’s ok we’ll…” “It’s not ok Camz,” Lauren cut
her off. “I’m not ok…I’m not. Jesus…please you have to
understand that I’m trying to do the right thing here….” “How is
this right?” Camz asked. “This isn’t right…you said we’d be
together, that we would have a life together….that’s what you
said…yesterday…just yesterday you said that…” “What the fuck
did I know Camz?” Lauren asked raising her voice slightly. “I didn’t
fucking know. I still don’t know, but, this,” she said lifting up
Camila’s right arm to show her the plaster cast in situ there, “This
isn’t ok. We’re not ok.” Camila tried to turn, tried to walk away
but Lauren held her wrist tightly, not allowing her to leave. “We
can’t be together like this,” Lauren told her. “You can’t go on
hating yourself and depend on me to boost your selfesteem, you
can’t. It’s not healthy. It’s toxic Camz and it’ll destroy us in the
end. You have to love yourself…” “Ilove you,” Camila said again
and Lauren felt her chest ache painfully. “That’s not enough,”
Lauren told her. “I thought it was because you make me so happy
and for a while Ithought that I made you happy too…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64724879885/trialsand-
tribulationschapter43 9/11 “You do,” Camila said hurriedly. “You
do make me happy. You’re one of the only things that makes me
happy Lauren…please…don’t take that from me…” “Why?” Lauren
asked her pointedly. “Why not Camz?” “I don’t have anything if I
don’t have you.” Camila answered honestly. “You have you,”
Lauren told her brushing the scar above her left eyebrow softly.
“That’s something. That should be something Camz. You’re
enough and you’ll never be happy, not really, not until you believe
that.” “Please,” Camila begged sobbing, “Please don’t do this
Lauren, don’t….” “You have to go Camz,” Lauren reiterated.
“That’s the only chance that there is for us. Please do
this…please….I’ll wait for you….I promise, I will, but…you have to
do this…for you…” “No, I won’t,” Camila said. “I won’t go….I’m
ok…I’m…I’m ok….I am…” Camila’s eyes widened as she saw her
parents car pull up to the curb and Lauren closed her eyes,
knowing that Ally had called them, just as she knew she would
when she’d divulged Camila’s location to her before leaving. “You
called my parents?” she asked Lauren, trying to wriggle free from
her grasp. “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised. “No,” Camila said in
disbelief. “No, I won’t go…Lauren,” she pleaded. “Lauren please?”
“I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised again as Camila’s dad came over
and placed her arms around his daughter, holding her in place as
she tried to twist out of his grip. “Please,” she beseeched crying,
“please….Lauren…” Camila said turning around to look back at her
her dad moving her back towards his car, Sinu coming over to
Lauren and placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. “Lauren,”
Camila called again. “Please… don’t let them do
 this…please…please…Ilove you…Lauren…Lauren….” Alejandro
secured Camila in to the back seat of the car, locking the doors,
his own eyes moist, evidently distressed by Camila’s suffering.
“Thank you,” Sinu said to Lauren, pulling her in to a hug, herself
crying. “You’ll look after her?” Lauren asked, inhaling deeply, her
tears making it difficult to breathe, the distant sound of Camila
banging against the window imploringly tearing her in two.
“Please, don’t let anything happen to her. Please?” “I won’t,” Sinu
said. “I promise.” “You’ll bring her back to me?” Lauren asked
Camila’s mom, “I need her back.” “I’ll try,” Sinu said and she
hugged Lauren again before making her way back to the car and
disappearing inside, Alejandro pulling away from the curb soon
after. Lauren watched them go, a piece of her heart leaving with
them. The biggest part, she thought. Camz.
Chapter 44
It had been just over six weeks since Lauren had let Camila go. Six
weeks since she’d broken both their hearts and the physical ache
that she’d felt in her chest as she’d watched Camila’s parents
drive away was still present, still nagging at her every second of
every day, reminding her of what she’d lost, of who she’d lost.
They had been six long, miserable, lonely weeks and Lauren
hadn’t heard from Camila once. She’d had no letter, no phone
call, and no text message from her. She’d heard nothing, and it
was killing her, slowly but ever so surely. Lauren had endured six
weeks without Camila’s smile, without her laugh, her deep
chocolate eyes, her low raspy tone and her long soft locks of dark
hair. She’d suffered without the presence of Camila’s playful
manner, her sharp intellect and her kind heart in her life. For six
weeks Lauren had missed everything about Camila, every little
detail, every small personal quirk her girlfriend had possessed,
every minute and insignificant moment of physical contact that
they used to share. Lauren had missed the way that Camila would
furrow her brow when she was confused, how she’d scrunch up
her nose adorably when she was nervous or how she’d pouted in
an attempt to get her own way. She’d missed the way that Camila
would look at her, the way that her eyes would light up
mischievously when she was planning something, the way that
her small hand had fit so comfortably within her own. For the last
six weeks Lauren had been unable to trace the scar above
Camila’s left eye as she used to do, she’d been unable to play with
her girlfriends’ fingers mindlessly, kiss her soft lips tenderly or
caress her cheek delicately with the pad of her thumb. All
subconscious habits she’d developed, all small comforts when she
was worried, stressed or agitated. All now lost; just like Camila.
Lauren missed all these things and a multitude more about her
girlfriend, but, mostly, she just missed her, she missed Camila. She
missed her every single day. Lauren missed everything that Camila
was, everything that she bought to her life, the way that she
enriched it for the better, the way her future seemed less bleak
when she pictured her in it. Lauren missed herself too; the person
 that she was when Camila was with her, the way that she felt
when they were together. She missed the way her face would
ache because she was constantly smiling, the way Camila
managed to soften her hard edges until there was virtually
nothing left of them, the way that she made her happy. Lauren
really missed being happy. Lauren wished that she could talk to
Camila again the way that they used to do. She missed their deep,
meaningful conversations and their lighthearted banter. She
wished that they could stay up all night together discussing their
hopes, their dreams, and their future as they had before, back
when things were better, back when she’d not realised the extent
of Camila’s problems, when she’d still been living in happy and
oblivious denial. If Lauren could just talk to Camila, she’d tell her
that she only had one hope now; that she would come back to
her. Lauren would tell Camila her solitary dream; for them to be
together, to finally be reunited once more. That was all that
Lauren wanted, all that she could think about and she didn’t
believe that it was asking too much for the universe to cut her a
break in return for everything they’d had to go through together
as a couple.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 2/11 The day that Camila had left town
Lauren had remained in bed; too depressed to go to school, too
upset to face walking the same hallway that they’d met in, to pass
by Camila’s now empty locker or sit in the same seats she
 normally did during the classes they’d shared, the one beside her
now painfully and obviously vacant in Camila’s absence. Lauren
couldn’t remember another time in her entire life when she’d
ever cried so much as she did that first day. She’d felt like she was
suffocating from the force of her sobs, the allencompassing grief
she’d experienced ripping her insides asunder violently, making
her feel nauseous and lightheaded. She hadn’t eaten at all that
first day, her appetite gone and replaced with an insatiable
hunger for only one thing, one person; Camila. That was all that
her body craved, the only sustenance that it wanted but, that was
exactly what she couldn’t have, the person who she coveted
instead now miles away, condemned to a prolonged and
involuntary residence in a treatment centre that specialised in the
rehabilitation of people suffering from posttraumatic stress
disorder and depression. Camila was all that Lauren could think
about and every waking moment was spent remembering her, the
way that her smile could make Lauren’s stomach flutter, the way
her lips, pressed softly against her own had sent a shiver down
her spine, the way their interlocked fingers had made her feel
warm and loved. Lauren was unable to forget Camila for even a
minute, she couldn’t even have one moment of blissful reprieve,
because everything reminded her of the things they’d done
together, of the places they’d been, the experiences they’d
shared. Lauren had tried to bury herself back into her school
work, had studied hard to try and make up the grades which she’d
 dropped, but, even that bought back vivid recollections of all the
times they’d laid side by side together on her bed, their noses
buried in their respective books as they’d completed their
homework together. Lauren couldn’t even enjoy softball any
more, the effect of the endorphins released from the physical
exercise crushed under the oppressive memory of the time they’d
gone to the batting cages together. Lauren had always thought
that she was insightful when it came to Camila’s depression. She’d
thought that she’d understood what it meant, how it felt but, she
hadn’t, not really, not until now. Those occasions when Camila
had told her that she’d hated herself; that she’d rather be dead
than have to struggle through another day, that sometimes she’d
found it difficult to even drag herself up and out of bed, they all
made much more sense to her now, because without Camila
that’s exactly how Lauren felt. She hated herself for letting Camila
go, for leaving things the way that they had, for not getting the
opportunity to say a proper goodbye. She hated herself for
doubting her decision, because, deep down she knew that it was
the right thing to do, she knew that Camila needed help, that she
needed to be on her own to really recover from the still profound
impact on her life that the accident had caused. Deep down,
Lauren knew that it was the right thing to do for her too; that
being with Camila when she was in the midst of a severe episode
of depression or suffering from a paralyzing bout of posttraumatic
stress wasn’t good for her and was starting to affect her own
 mental health, slowly crippling her too. Lauren wasn’t suicidal;
she never envisioned dying or thought that she’d be better off if
she ceased to exist. She wasn’t experience suicidal ideation, it
hadn’t even crossed her mind, not once, the depression she felt
mild in comparison to Camila’s, but still very much real. It wasn’t
complicated with a physical recovery, wasn’t exacerbated by
terrifying flashbacks or horrific nightmares like Camila’s was.
Lauren didn’t have to contend with the horrendous pain caused
by actual bodily damage like Camila did, her agony was purely
emotional but, the awareness she gained, the glimpse into
Camila’s head which she got from her own experience, finally
made her realise just how strong her girlfriend had been, made
her wonder how she’d even managed to function on a day to day
basis, how she’d lasted as long as she had without having a
complete mental breakdown. According to Dinah, that was
exactly what Camila had experienced the first day that she was
away at the treatment centre, when, in the midst of a major
depressive episode she’d shown signs of an acute psychosis the
first day she was there, the staff finding her on numerous
occasions sitting in her room and talking to herself, repeating
commands for someone to ‘shut up,’ her hands held over her
head, her body curled in on itself as she cried, hearing things
which weren’t there, having auditory hallucinations which, her
therapist had later discovered, were derogatory about herself,
telling her that she was useless, that she should kill herself, that
 she should have died in the accident and needed to correct that
cosmic mistake. Camila had also become quickly paranoid,
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 3/11 believing that everyone was out to get
her, barricading the door to her room with the desk so that the
staff had needed to force their way in. Finally, after injection with
a dose of Haloperidol, Camila had settled down slightly, remaining
in the midst of a severe bout of depression and taken to her bed,
ironically unable to sleep and refusing to talk, refusing eat,
refusing to do anything, selfneglecting herself instead. Lauren had
been crushed at the knowledge, feeling deeply guilty for her part
in Camila’s condition but, at the same time she’d felt extremely
grateful that Camila had been somewhere that they could manage
her symptoms properly, where she was closely monitored and
unable to hurt herself. Lauren had been in a catch twentytwo
situation when it came to hearing about Camila from Dinah. On
the one hand, Lauren still worried about Camila constantly, that
fear for her wellbeing never leaving despite the distance between
them. She was grateful for Dinah’s regular updates, they had to
some degree helped put her mind at rest, the information that
the taller girl had gotten from Sinu and Camila herself, settling
Lauren’s anxiousness and making her quietly hopeful that Camila
was slowly starting to recover. On the other hand though, Lauren
hated talking to Dinah about Camila, she hated to hear that she
was gradually beginning to rebuild herself, to deal with her issues
 and move one step closer towards full health as she continued to
convalesce. Lauren hated to hear that Camila was doing well
because it hurt her to know that despite her progress, she still
wouldn’t talk to her, still wouldn’t pick up the phone and
seemingly still wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. Lauren
had tried to contact Camila at numerous times over the course of
the last six weeks. She’d tried phoning her, tried texting, tried
writing, but Camila had ignored every attempt at communication,
had shunned every effort Lauren had made to start a dialogue
between them, to make things right, to apologise. Lauren had
even driven to the treatment centre one weekend in the hopes of
seeing Camila, desperate to talk to her, if only for a moment so
that she could see with her own eyes that she was alright.
However, they’d refused to let Lauren in, Camila not wanting any
visitors. Finally, after six weeks of hearing nothing, Lauren had
come to the conclusion that whatever she and Camila had shared,
whatever their fleeting relationship had been, it was now, well
and truly over. She was no longer one half of a whole, part of a
couple. She was no longer formed part of an ‘us,’ and things were
no longer ‘theirs.’ Now there was only her and the sooner she
started to accept that, the happier she thought she would be. She
couldn’t even blame Camila for feeling the way she did, after all, it
had been Lauren who had ultimately condemned Camila to her
current reality, where she was hidden away from everyone she
knew and loved; where she was alone. She’d been the person that
 Camila had turned to when she was desperate, to save her, to
protect her, to help her. Lauren had been her saviour and now she
was the villain. Camila had trusted her and now she didn’t. Camila
had been in love with her and now she wasn’t. “Hey,” Dinah
greeted, pulling Lauren from her melancholy thoughts as she took
a seat beside her at their usual table in the school cafeteria. Over
the last six weeks Lauren had spent a lot of time with Dinah, the
other girl being at just as much of a loss without Camila around
and her normal, cheery attitude now subdued without her best
friend. “Hi,” Lauren, Normani and Ally all greeted together as
Dinah rested her bag on her lap and pulled out her lunch, placing
the bag on the floor at her feet once she’d deposited it on the
table before her. “You’re late today,” Normani noted, taking a sip
of her drink as Dinah had a bite of her sandwich, evidently
starving. “I know I’m sorry, I just spoke with Camila,” Dinah
informed them, casting a sideways glance at Lauren whose head
had perked up with interest at the sound of the other girls’ name.
“You did?” Lauren asked, turning to face Dinah properly, eager to
hear what her girlfriend, or more than likely, exgirlfriend had said.
“Yeah,” Dinah replied, taking another bite of her food. “I thought
I’d quickly call her because I remember when I spoke to her at the
weekend she said that she was having a really important therapy
session this morning and I wanted to see how it’d gone.” She
explained.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter44 4/11 “Well, what did she say?” Lauren
asked eagerly, looking around at the other girls’ for a moment
before turning her attention back to Dinah. “She said it went
alright,” Dinah answered shrugging as she reached for her soda
and took a sip, “but, she didn’t really talk too much to be honest.”
She went on. “Apparently she’s got a massive headache today and
wanted to go and lie down.” “Is she still getting them a lot?”
Normani asked concerned. “On and off,” Dinah answered
truthfully. “Probably about the same as she did before she left.”
“Are you going to go down and see her soon?” Ally asked Dinah
and the taller girl shook her head in response. “She still won’t let
me,” Dinah replied sadly. “She won’t even let her parents visit
her.” “Wait, even her parents are allowed in?” Normani
questioned surprised. “I thought that they would have had to let
her parents in to see her,” Lauren commented, also amazed that
neither her mom nor dad had been granted access to their
daughter during her stay. “No, not if Camila doesn’t want to see
them,” Dinah told the assembled group. “Sinu told me that Camila
doesn’t think it would help her recovery if they keep visiting all
the time and the centre agree so her parents are honouring her
wishes.” “Did Camila say when she thought she’d be discharged?”
Normani asked and Dinah shook her head in response. “She
hasn’t spoken to me about it,” Dinah informed them, a sad smile
on her face. “It could be another week or it could be a few more
months. I’ve got no idea.” “What about the deposition?” Ally
asked. “They were going to reschedule it before all this happened.
Is it just going to be put off indefinitely?” “Sinu said that their
lawyer has managed to get it postponed until Camila is well
enough to attend herself or someone can go to the centre and
obtain a written statement from her.” Dinah answered having
another sip of her drink. “Did she ask about me?” Lauren
questioned, already knowing the answer but needing to ask
anyway. “No, I’m sorry Lauren,” Dinah apologised, placing a
sympathetic hand on Lauren’s shoulder and squeezing it
supportively. “She didn’t.” Lauren nodded her head sadly in
acceptance of Dinah’s words, turning her gaze to the floor. “I’m
sure she misses you Lo,” Ally tried to supply in an attempt to
comfort her friend. “She’s probably just, I don’t know, been busy
or something?” she offered weakly. “Ally its ok,” Lauren said
lifting her gaze up to meet her friends for a moment before
turning to Dinah. “I think we all know that’s not true. Camila
obviously doesn’t want to speak to me. I mean, even you and
Normani have had a few texts from her over the last few weeks. I
guess she just can’t forgive me for what I did.” She finished
unhappily. “Lauren you did the right thing?” Normani reassured
her. “You know that don’t you?” “I guess,” Lauren replied
unconvinced. “No you did,” Dinah told Lauren, pulling her in to a
side hug. “Mila needed help and you needed some space to get
your head together as well.” She reminded her kindly. “You
needed some space to breathe too.” “The irony is that ever since
 she left I’ve felt like I’ve been slowly suffocating,” Lauren shared
with them miserably. “Camila’s problems were too big for the two
of you to deal with alone.” Ally said sympathetically. “I know,”
Lauren agreed. “I quickly realised that when I found.” She
continued. “Camz was like a completely different person then.”
she recalled thinking back to the night six weeks ago when she’d
found her at the crossing. “I don’t think she’d even really
considered the practicalities of us running away together, she was
just…I don’t know… she was just so desperate…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 5/11 Lauren paused for a moment, running
a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath, the memory
making her eyes sting with the threat of tears, the feelings she’d
felt then still raw and easily reexposed. “Nothing she said made
sense,” Lauren continued after a minute. “She was rambling
about the lights and then that she was leaving…it was different to
how she normally is when she’s depressed, worse in some ways,
she wasn’t selfdeprecating, she was almost manic.” She
explained. “She was so fixated on us going away together…she
begged me,” Lauren told them, her voice thick with emotion,
catching in her throat. “Begged.” She repeated. “It was like, she
couldn’t see it…she had no insight into anything, like, she’d lost all
grasp on reality. In her head it didn’t matter that we’d have
nowhere to live or that we wouldn’t have any money. She was so
sure that as long as we were together she’d be alright, that with
 me she was better and I suddenly realised that Miss Lovato had
been right all along…Camila was dependent on me and without
me she didn’t see a future, she didn’t want one…everything she
did was for us, was for me. None of it was for herself and it has to
be…” she trailed off wiping at her eye, a tear coming unbidden.
“She has to live for herself. She has to love herself or else she’ll
never get better and then…” Dinah hugged Lauren closer as her
words got lost in her grief, the taller girl kissing her forehead
lightly, the way she used to comfort Camila. “Ijust miss her so
much,” Lauren admitted honestly. “I know,” Dinah said herself
starting to choke up at the sight of Lauren’s heartache. “I miss her
too, but, she’ll come back, she will…” “Yeah,” Normani agreed,
reaching across the table to take Lauren’s hand. “When Camila’s
better she’ll come home and…” “What?” Lauren said cutting her
off, laughing slightly through her tears. “Then what? She’ll come
home and she’ll move on with her life, without me…” “You don’t
know that,” Normani tried to soothe Lauren, rubbing her hand
gently with her thumb. “It’s been over six weeks.” Lauren stated
the fact unequivocal. “Six weeks and she’s not contacted me
once,” she reminded them all. “She’s never asked about me,
never mentioned me, she doesn’t care…” “Lauren she does care,”
Dinah supplied but Lauren was having none of it. “She used to
care,” Lauren said, “Camz used to care and do you know how I
knew?” she asked them all rhetorically, “because the Camz I
knew, the one I loved, that loved me back…she’d never have let
 this amount of time pass without speaking to me, without
resolving whatever issues there are between us. She proved that
time and again. She always came to me, always, even when I
didn’t deserve it.” “She still might,” Ally told her optimistic as
ever. “No, it’s been too long,” Lauren admitted to herself as much
as the others. “She never let even a few hours pass without trying
to fix things and it’s been six weeks…” She stopped to wipe at her
eyes for a moment, sitting up taller and slipping out of Dinah’s
hold, trying to compose herself. “I guess, it’s time Ifinally accept
that we’re over and move on,” she resolved defiantly. “Don’t say
that,” Ally told her. “Don’t give up Lo, especially not now…give it a
couple of days and just…wait…” “What for?” Lauren asked her
interestedly. “What difference will a few days make if she’s not
spoken to me in six weeks?” “Lauren it’s almost Valentine’s day…”
Normani reminded her and Lauren actually laughed at the
thought. “So what?” Lauren asked them derisively. “You think
she’ll suddenly feel the urge to send me a card and some
flowers?” she asked starting to get angry now, her grief starting to
manifest itself bitterly. “We’re over,” she acknowledged more
confidently, reaching up her hands and unclasping the pendant
Camila had gotten her from around her neck and placing it on the
table in front of her. “I broke her fucking heart and she broke
mine in return,” she realised, chuckling slightly to herself, the
tears still flowing freely.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 6/11 “Lauren…” Dinah tried, placing a hand
on her arm, but she cut her off quickly. “No Dinah,” Lauren said,
her voice rising slightly as her thoughts picked up momentum. “I
promised her I’d never leave her and I did, emotionally I left her
first and I pushed her away…” “For her,” Dinah reminded her
again. “You did that for her Lauren, for the both of you…” “It
doesn’t matter,” Lauren told her simply. “My motives don’t
matter. I still left her and I’d made her a promise…she’ll never
forgive me for that, never…” “Lo,” Ally said as Lauren stood up
and collected her things. “Where are you going?” “Home,” Lauren
said simply, “This place is doing my fucking head in…all it does is
remind me of her, of how we used to be and I hate it. I can’t
fucking stand it anymore.” “Do you want us to come with you?”
Normani asked worriedly, standing up too. “No,” Lauren told her
pointedly. “Ijust want to be alone.” “I’m coming round later,”
Normani warned her, a sense of finality to her tone that Lauren
struggled to argue with. “Whatever,” she commented, turning on
her heel and leaving, not looking back over her shoulder at the
others once as she departed the cafeteria. Ally, Dinah and
Normani watched her go before turning their attention back to
one another, the only three remaining in their ever shrinking
group. “Jesus Christ Mila,” Dinah said, picking up the necklace
Lauren had left and placing it in the palm of her hand to study it
closer, miserable at the sight of seeing the brunette so broken and
defeated. “What the fuck are you doing?” she cursed. After
 truanting from school and finding her way home, Lauren went
straight up to her room, throwing her bag on to the floor at the
foot of her bed and curling up in to a ball beneath the duvet,
sobbing uncontrollably, finally allowing the anguish she felt to be
expelled from her the only way she knew how. She stayed like
that for the next couple of hours, hugging Camila’s now worn
notebook against her chest as she cried. Lauren had been reading
continuously since the moment they’d been separated. She’d held
on to the small book dearly in the early days of Camila’s absence,
cherished it as if it were the Holy Bible itself, using it as a source
of comfort, a symbol of hope. Now it was the last piece of Camila
that she had left, the only part of the old her, the real her, that
remained. It was a part of Camila’s soul, she remembered, the
memory only making her tears fall harder. Finally, driven by thirst,
Lauren dragged herself out of bed, sitting up on the edge of it for
a moment to collect herself, feeling slightly dizzy at the change in
position, her head light from the inefficient oxygenation of her
brain, her lungs gasping heavily, fighting for air. Lauren was about
to stand up when she noticed a large box on the floor by her door,
a white envelope lying on top of it. She frowned for a moment,
confused at its presence in her room and got to her feet
hesitantly, walking over to the parcel and crouching low to pick
the envelope up, her breath catching in her chest, her heart
pounding loudly against her ribcage as she recognised Camila’s
messy scrawl on the front of it. She opened the envelope
 hurriedly, tearing it open and pulling out the contents quickly as
though they were the antidote she to a venomous snake bite.
Inside she found a plastic wallet containing a CD, the word
‘Lauren’ written on the front of it in a black sharpie, and a letter.
Lauren placed the CD to one side for a moment in order to open
the note, her eyebrow rising slightly at the words written in untidy
script within. I’m sorry. Lauren furrowed her brow for a moment,
turning the page over in her hands and looking for something
further, some kind of explanation, anything. She glanced back
down at the CD on the floor and picked it up, heading over to her
desk and starting up her laptop in order to play it. Lauren lowered
herself into her chair as she opened the CD drive and placed the
disc inside, twisting in her seat anxiously as she waited for the
software to recognise the media. Once it had found the file,
Lauren clicked on it, halfexpecting her iTunes to open and music
to start blaring from the speakers.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 7/11 Instead she found herself crying again
when on her screen appeared a close up of Camila’s face, the
small girl obviously bent low over a camera as she recorded a
video. Lauren reached her hand forward to maximise the screen,
her fingers finding their way to stroke subconsciously at Camila’s
brow, hovering above the scar on the left side of her head as she
moved back in the frame. Lauren studied her closely, her eyes
taking in every detail that she’d missed so considerately in their
 absence from her life. She scrutinised Camila’s dark chocolate
eyes and noted the way that they sparkled in the camera lens
finally full of life, the once heavy bags that had surrounded them
now gone. Her face looked fuller then she’d remembered, her
features more soft, more relaxed and her hair glistened in the
light penetrating the room through her window, the left side
equally as long as the right. “Hi Lauren,” Camila said timidly, her
eyes dropping to the bed in front of her for a moment, avoiding
the camera as if embarrassed. “I don’t really know what to say to
you to be honest…it’s been so long…” she trailed off, lifting her
eyes to finally look in to the lens. “I know that you’re probably
mad at me and I don’t blame you. It’s been…forty one days since
I’ve spoken to you,” she continued, glancing at the wall, seemingly
looking at a calendar. “I know that you tried to call me a number
of times and I’ve never answered. I hope you believe me when I
say that I’m really sorry about that.” She apologised. “It’s just, it’s
been so hard here that I didn’t think I’d be able to speak to you
and hold myself together.” She admitted. Camila paused for a
moment to look around the room she was sat in before turning
back to the camera again. “For the longest time I’ve tried to forget
the last time we spoke, to force it from my memory, but, despite
how hazy parts of it were, certain aspects remain so vivid that I
feel like they’re happening all over again when I remember
them.” She explained. “I hated you so much in the beginning
Lauren,” Camila shared, dropping her gaze again and playing with
 her fingers mindlessly in her lap, subconsciously substituting for
Lauren’s touch. “I was so mad at you for what you did but I didn’t
know why.” She told her, lifting her gaze again. “You didn’t do
anything, not really and it took me a long time to realise that. I
don’t know, I guess that I felt betrayed. You were the one person
that I thought understood me, but you didn’t, not really…I know
that now.” Camila picked the camera up for a moment and held it,
directing it around the room so that Lauren could see it all. “This
is home now,” Camila’s voice told her as she stood up from the
bed to show a small plain room with a single bed in the corner, a
small desk and a door two doors, one leading out to the rest of
the facility and another which Lauren assumed to be an en suite
bathroom. “It’s not much,” Camila almost sighed, “but, it’ll do for
now.” She went on approaching the desk where the box that was
now sat on Lauren’s floor could be seen, a pile of Camila’s
favourite books beside it. “I’ve sent you something,” Camila
divulged, the camera settling on the box. “You might have already
opened it and if you have you’ll know that it’s more CD’s, thirty
three to be precise, not including this one…” she told her,
“Almost, but not quite one video for everyday that I’ve been in
here.” Lauren quickly glanced over at the box curious but soon
returned her attention to the screen when Camila continued to
talk. “As you remember I broke my hand when I punched Rachel,”
Camila sighed regretfully. “I’ve only recently had the cast removed
so before then I couldn’t write to you, so, kept a video diary
 instead and they’re my entries.” She paused briefly, inhaling
deeply. “I was going to send them once a week but, to be honest;
the first week here was kind of a blur.” She admitted. “I don’t
really remember much but, from what I understand I was kind of
a wreck so, I’m sort of pleased that you won’t have to see me like
that. Actually, I’m pleased that I don’t have to see myself like that
either…” she mused as she walked over to her bed again and
directed the camera to the wall opposite where a number of
pictures were up. “I thought that you’d appreciate this,” Camila
said, her voice light. “Even if you’re mad at me…” she added. “I
finally found it in me to put some pictures up. Look,” she
instructed zooming in on the small squares. “Do you remember
this day?” she asked as Lauren recognised the strip of photo
booth pictures from their group date. “This is still my favourite
picture,” Camila informed her settling the camera on the one
where they were kissing. Camila moved the camera around the
rest of the pictures on the wall and Lauren couldn’t help but smile
at the sight of them. There were pictures of her and Sofi when
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 8/11 she was younger, before the accident.
There were pictures of her family, of her and Dinah, at least fifty
pictures in total and Lauren felt tears spring to her eyes again.
“They’re all from before my accident,” Camila shared with her,
“but, I want to put some new ones up soon. Ijust need to take
some. I’ll show you when I do, I promise.” She said as she sat back
 on the bed and placed the camera on something, facing her once
more. “Anyway,” she continued. “I wanted to send you this
instead of calling,” Camila explained, dropping her gaze to the bed
again. “I want you to listen and Ithink if I called then things might
get heated and I don’t’ want that…” She ran a hand through her
hair and lifted her eyes again to look in to the lens. They were so
fixed that Lauren couldn’t help but feel that Camila was looking
right at her, seeing right through her from miles away. It was
almost as though this was happening now and they were on
Skype, only, it wasn’t and they weren’t. “You were right,” Camila
told her. “I was sick Lauren,” she admitted. “I’m still sick but, I’m
really getting better this time, I promise.” Lauren saw a tear slide
down Camila’s cheek and she lifted her hand reflexively to try and
wipe it away. “I know you said that you’d wait,” Camila continued
as Lauren realised that she couldn’t, “but I don’t expect you to
have done that Lauren…I have no right to expect that from you. I
just, I don’t know, I wanted you to have this diary, this sequel to
the other one that I gave you if you want to think of it that way,
just another little piece of my soul. You’re still the only person
that I’d trust it to,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “I hope that even
though we left things on bad terms you’d still be able to find it in
your heart to speak kindly of me if the worst should happen.” She
said, “I don’t know, maybe you won’t, but I wanted you to have
them anyway, so that you could understand what I’ve been
through, why I haven’t called, why I couldn’t call…maybe then
 you’ll be able to find it in yourself to forgive me.” She said.
“Maybe we could be friends again if nothing else…like we were
before, right back at the start.” Lauren wiped at her eyes, the
tears there obscuring her vision, obscuring Camila. “I know that
I’m asking a lot and I don’t want you feel like you have to though
Lauren,” Camila added quickly. “It’ll be up to you and please
believe me when I say that I’ll respect whatever you decide. I
don’t want you to worry that it’ll set me back because I have a
really supportive group of people around me here and they’ll help
me, they will.” She turned to look at the wall again before
returning her attention to the camera. “Anyway, I have a group
session in a minute so I should go,” she said, “but, before I do, I
just…there’s one more thing that I want to say.” Camila
continued. “If you think that you could find it in yourself to forgive
me then, well, I have my phone and I’d really like to speak to you
again, to hear your voice, even if it’s just as friends, so, please call
me when you can. I learnt a new joke here and I think you’d
appreciate it, but, I’ll only tell it to you when you call me ok?
Ithink that’s fair…trust me, it’s really good.” She told her. She
glanced at the clock again and sighed heavily. “Right, well, I really
have to go so…” Camila trailed off. “Hopefully I’ll hear from you
and…if not well, I hope you’re happy Lauren. I want you to be
happy more than I want that for myself. I know it was difficult for
you and I never appreciated that so, I‘m sorry. Be happy Lauren. If
not for you then for me because nothing would cheer me up more
than to know that you were smiling, that you were content.” She
paused for a moment and wiped at her face again. “I love you
Lauren,” she said hurriedly before reaching forward and turning
off the camera, the screen going black in front of Lauren. She sat
for a moment her brain processing the video that she’d just seen,
her mind in a state of pure confusion, at a loss for what to do.
Finally, Lauren stood up and walked over to the bed where her
phone sat and she picked it up, finding Camila’s name in the
contact list, her finger hovering over it hesitantly for a while
before coming to a decision. She pressed her finger on it lightly,
dialling the number and holding the phone to her ear, holding her
breath as she waited for the call to connect, her breath held
anxiously. “Lauren?” Camila’s voice came after a minute and
Lauren smiled, her eyes moist, the familiar butterflies returning
almost instantly at the sound of her voice. “Camz,” she sobbed,
finally releasing the breath she’d been holding.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/64909921349/trialsand-
tribulationschapter44 9/11 “Hi,” Camila said timidly. “Hi,” Lauren
reciprocated before adding hurriedly, “I saw your video.” “I
thought you might have,” Camila told her laughing lightly and
Lauren laughed too through her tears, the sound music to her
ears. “I want to say something now,” Lauren said, her tone stern
and she could feel Camila apprehension through the line. “Ok,”
she agreed, waiting patiently for Lauren to speak again. “I love
you too,” Lauren told her and she could almost see Camila’s smile
 in response, the memory of it so ingrained. “You do?” Camila
asked her quietly. “Yes,” Lauren said chuckling a little at Camila’s
question. “Of course I do, I always have and I always will. I told
you that. You’ve always had me Camz, always, ever since that
day…” “Do you want to hear a joke?” Camila asked cutting her off
slightly, but Lauren could hear the emotion in her voice. “Camz,”
Lauren started to protest but Camila went on regardless. “It’s
really good,” she promised and Lauren rolled her eyes, a slight
pause settling between them. “Knock knock,” Camila said and
Lauren heard the doorbell ring downstairs, her heart leaping in to
her throat as she turned to look out her bedroom door and down
the stairs. “Camz?” Lauren said not wanting to hope but doing so
nonetheless. “That’s not the next line,” Camila scolded playfully
and Lauren said, “Who’s there?” as she bounded down the stairs
two at a time. “Normani,” Camila said simply as Lauren threw
open the door to find Normani standing outside, studying her
closely. “Are you alright?” Normani asked when she saw the
flustered look on Lauren’s face, noticing her puffy eyes and tear
streaked cheeks. “You said this joke was funny,” Lauren said in to
the phone confused. “Yeah, well it would have been better if
Normani hadn’t of ruined it,” Camila said and Lauren glanced
behind Normani realising something. “Camz, how did you know
Normani was here?” she asked stepping around her friend and
out on to the porch. “Wait you’re talking to Camila?” Normani
asked Lauren shocked, “Did she finally call you?” “Shh,” Lauren
 said looking along the street and not seeing Camila anywhere
nearby. “Camz where are you?” she asked. “How did you know
Normani was here?” “No, that’s not fair,” Camila said simply and
Lauren could picture the corner of the smaller girls’ mouth lift into
a mischievous halfsmile. “I didn’t get to finish my joke…” she
trailed off before starting again. “Knock knock,” she said and
Lauren ran a hand through her hair. “Who’s there?” she said. “I
am,” Camila answered. “Camz you’re not really here are you?”
Lauren asked glancing around once again and she heard Camila
laugh in response. “Is that the joke?” she questioned. “No,” she
informed her and Lauren turned around to look back into the
house, finding Normani watching her with interest, evidently
confused by what was going on. “The joke is that you’re at the
wrong door,” she said and Lauren’s head snapped up in the
direction of the back of the house. She pushed past Normani
hurriedly, the other girl protesting loudly as their shoulders
collided forcefully and Lauren practically ran to the back door, her
hand fumbling with the key there for a moment before finally
unlocking it and flinging it open. On the other side Lauren found
Camila, waiting expectantly, her left hand holding her phone to
her. “Hi,” Camila said nervously lowering her phone to her side,
Lauren mirroring the action with her own hand. “You said it was a
good joke,” Lauren replied, swallowing hard. “I might have over
sold it,” Camila smiled in response and Lauren shook her head.
“No,” she disagreed. “You under sold it Camz,” Lauren told her.
“That’s the best joke you’ve ever told.” “It is?” Camila asked and
Lauren smiled brightly. “It is,” she confirmed stepping forward
and wrapping her arms around Camila tightly. “It really is,” she
repeated.
Chapter 45
A/N: This gave me a headache, lol. Hope you guys like it x “I’m so
sorry,” Camila said hurriedly, wrapping her own arms around
Lauren and holding her tightly, her small fingers grasping on to
the back of the top she was wearing desperately, dropping her
phone on the floor in the process. “I was such an idiot,” she
continued in a rush. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I mean, I
wasn’t thinking, not really…and, well, that was the problem,” she
rambled, her chin resting atop Lauren’s shoulder. “I was being
selfish and stubborn,” she went on. “I should have at least text
you to tell you that I was ok, or, I don’t know, got a message to
you through Dinah, but, I couldn’t…I was so scared…I thought that
if I spoke to you or asked about you then, well, I don’t know, I
just…I didn’t think I could deal with the thought of you hating me
after what I’d done.” She admitted. “I thought that it was better
to just pretend,” she told her and Lauren leant back for a moment
to look at Camila as she continued speaking, her girlfriend’s eyes
looking past Lauren at the wall over her shoulder. “I thought that
if I just pretended that we were still alright then everything would
be ok,” she said truthfully, “but, we weren’t…and then I thought
about how you were doing and if you were upset, but…I didn’t
 really want to know, not really, because if you were, you know,
upset…then, I would feel guilty and I didn’t want to feel guilty,
but, I didn’t want you to be upset and…” Lauren dipped her head
forward, pushing her lips against Camila’s forcefully, silencing her
almost immediately. “No wait,” Camila breathed, pulling her head
back a little in order to look at Lauren, after the initial surprise at
the kiss had worn off. “You can’t just kiss me like nothing’s
happened Lauren, like the last six weeks didn’t…” she started, but
Lauren hushed her again, crashing her soft lips against her
girlfriends, craving the feel of them, the way they tasted, the way
that they made her feel like her whole stomach was alive with a
small army of butterflies. “Lauren,” Camila protested as she pulled
her head back again and Lauren laughed, wrapping her arms
around Camila’s torso and giving her a hug once more. “Lauren,
what the hell is going…” Normani started, trailing off as she
walked in to find her friend still embracing Camila, her arms
reluctant to let the small girl go for fear of losing her again. “On?”
she finished in disbelief, stopping in her tracks for a moment just
as Lauren stepped back slightly from Camila to look in her
direction. “Oh my God,” Normani said, a huge smile appearing on
her face at the sight of Camila a few feet away from her. “Camila?
What are you doing here?” she asked surprised, walking over to
where the two of them stood. “I’m just…I came to see Lauren,”
Camila answered and Normani walked over and pulled the smaller
girl into a warm hug, nudging Lauren out of the way slightly in the
 process. “It’s so good to see you,” Normani told her truthfully,
placing both her hands on Camila’s upper arms when they’d
parted and pushing her back a little to study her better. “You look
really well.” She noted. “I don’t know what it is but….” She trailed
off, noticing the pointed look she was getting from Lauren. “You
know what?” Normani asked, brushing one of Camila’s arms with
her hand for a minute, “I forgot that there’s somewhere else that
I need to be,” she said and Camila frowned in confusion.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 2/11 “Wait, didn’t you just get here
though?” Camila asked puzzled and Normani turned to look at
Lauren briefly. “Yes, but, I only came over because Lauren owes
me some money and I need it for tonight,” she lied. “So…”she
said, turning back to Lauren again and holding out her hand, “if I
could just get it so that I can be on my way,” she told the brunette
meaningfully. Lauren shook her head subtly at Normani and
reached in to her jeans pocket, depositing her phone inside and
pulling out a crumpled ten dollar bill which she promptly handed
to her friend. Normani frowned at the money in her hand for a
moment before glancing back up at Lauren again. “I believe I
loaned you a twenty.” She commented dryly and Lauren reached
in to her pocket again pulling out two five dollar bills which she
quickly stacked on top of the previous one. “Great,” Normani said
happily, shoving the money in to her purse. “Well, I should be
going.” She said returning her attention to Camila. “I’ve got a
 date,” she informed the smaller girl and Camila smiled at the
news. “Tell Arin that I said, ‘Hi,’ she asked of her, both Lauren and
Normani making a face in response to her request. “What’s
wrong?” she asked, their expressions not going unnoticed. “Me
and Arin broke up,” Normani updated her and Camila’s eyebrows
lifted at the revelation. “Oh,” she said, glancing at Lauren. “I’m
sorry, I didn’t know.” She apologised sincerely. “Are you ok?” “Am
I ok?” Normani asked, laughing a little. “Of course I am,” she said,
tapping her purse significantly. “I’ve got a date remember?”
“Aren’t you going to be late?” Lauren asked purposefully and
Normani smiled at the question. “Yeah, I should go.” She replied
after feigning a look at her watch and turning back to Camila,
pulling her in to a hug once again. “Call me alright?” she entreated
of the smaller girl. “I’ll fill you in on everything when you do.” She
told her. “Ok,” Camila responded, nodding her head against
Normani’s shoulder. “I will.” She promised as Normani released
her from her grasp and offered them both a small wave as she
turned to leave. Normani made her way in the direction of the
front door, pausing briefly to look over her shoulder at the pair of
them as they watched. She had a smirk on her lips and gave
Lauren a silent prompt to call her later, a slight, meaningful
upward tilt of her head asking the inaudible question. She waved
quickly once more, before disappearing out of sight completely
and leaving the two of them alone again. They looked at each
other for a moment, an awkward silence filling the room and
 Camila linked her hands together in front of her, dropping her
gaze to the floor as one played mindlessly with the fingers of the
other. Lauren noticed the nervous impulse and immediately
reached her own hand down to take Camila’s, the other girls face
turning up to look at her in response as Lauren intertwined their
fingers. “Did she really have a date?” Camila asked Lauren
uncertainly, trying to start up a conversation again and the other
girl shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips. “No,” Lauren
admitted to her, “she didn’t have a date Camz. She was leaving us
alone…” she trailed off. “Listen Lauren,” Camila began, dropping
her gaze to the floor again as Lauren stepped towards her, closing
the distance between them, her free hand reaching up to sit on
the side of Camila’s neck. “You’re really here,” Lauren said,
stopping Camila in her tracks and caressing the smaller girls’
cheek with the pad of her thumb, the gesture seeming nostalgic
after so long apart. “It’s really you,” Lauren continued enthralled
by the girl stood in front of
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 3/11 her, her own piercing green eyes
moistening again at the realisation that Camila was standing with
her now. “I can’t believe that you’re back.” She exhaled happily.
“I’m not,” Camila said, placing a hand on Lauren’s forearm and
pulling it down, away from her face. “I’m just…I’m not back,” she
told her honestly. “I don’t understand,” Lauren said, furrowing her
brow confused. “Then why are you here?” “I’ve just been released
 for a couple of days,” Camila informed her. “I’m going back
tomorrow night.” “You are?” Lauren asked, her heart dropping in
her chest. “Why?” “Lauren,” Camila said, lifting her hand to brush
Lauren’s long brown hair behind her shoulder, out of the way.
“I’m still sick,” she told her simply. “I’m better, I am but, I still
need to be there…for now at least.” “Please don’t go back,”
Lauren pleaded. “Please, I made a mistake before…” “No…you
didn’t,” Camila told her sincerely. “You were right Lauren, we
were just going round in circles, I was just going round in circles…I
still do sometimes and I can’t be the person that you deserve
when I’m like that. It’s not fair on you.” “You don’t know what it’s
been like here without you,” Lauren shared with her, tears
springing to her eyes at the thought of losing Camila again. “Jesus
Camz, it’s been so fucking shit and I’ve missed you so much…”
“I’m sorry,” Camila apologised, “I’m so sorry Lauren,” she
repeated genuinely, wiping a tear from Lauren’s cheek with her
thumb. “That was my fault, I should have called you, I should have
kept in touch,” she explained. “You said that you’d wait and that it
was the only chance for us in the long run remember? You were
right about that Lauren, I asked so much of you and it wasn’t fair. I
didn’t realise how much my behaviour was affecting you, how
much my depression impacted on your mood. I was…crazy…”
“You weren’t crazy,” Lauren told her. “You…” “I was,” Camila
admitted cutting her off. “I completely lost it when I got to the
rehabilitation centre Lauren and I didn’t even recognise myself
 when I finally came crashing back to reality again, a gaping black
hole where my memory should have been.” She paused for a
moment to stroke Lauren’s arm. “I finally looked in the mirror and
I couldn’t see her anymore,” Camila continued, her fingertips
tracing down Lauren’s arm until it reached her hand. Camila
interlocked their fingers together mimicking their other hands
which still held one another tightly. “I couldn’t see the old me
anymore,” she divulged, “and it scared me Lauren, it scared me so
much that she was gone. I was so lost and I finally understood
that you were right. I was living for everyone else, for my mom
and dad, for Sofi and Dinah, for you,” she said pointedly. “I was so
dependent on you and it wasn’t right. I couldn’t make myself
happy, I relied on you for that and it would have all tumbled down
around our ears eventually…” “You don’t know that,” Lauren told
her. “I didn’t know that, Ijust… “No,” Camila answered honestly, “I
didn’t know that, but you did Lauren. You did. You saw it that
night. You saw something in me the last time we spoke and it
worried you didn’t it? It made you realise that I wasn’t ok, that we
couldn’t go on like we were and you were right. Please don’t
doubt that because as painful as it was and as hard as it’s been, it
had to happen…it had to…or else who knows where I’d be today.”
“You look better,” Lauren said, releasing one of Camila’s hands
and reaching her own up to trace the scar above the smaller girl’s
left eyebrow meaningfully once more. “You look so much better
though Camz,” she repeated. “Your eyes are bright, not dull like
 before. They sparkle now and the bags you used to have beneath
them are gone,” she told her, leaning forward and kissing Camila’s
left brow tenderly for a moment. “You’re face looks fuller then I
remember it and your features more relaxed, less…preoccupied
and tense.” She continued, caressing Camila’s temple with her
fingertips lightly. “Your hair is longer now too,” Lauren went on,
her hand sliding round to tangle in the long strands of Camila’s
hair, playing with it soothingly, another tear sliding down her own
cheek. “You look better now.” “I’m not,” Camila repeated her
earlier admission; reaching her own hand up to sit on top of
Lauren’s where it lingered on her cheek. She tilted her forehead
lower to rest against Lauren’s and sighed heavily. “Not in here,”
she said, lifting her hand to tap
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 4/11 herself on the head significantly. “I’m
not alright in here, not completely and I need to stay in rehab for
a little while longer at least…just a little while longer….” “You
could come back now though,” Lauren interrupted, “now that
you’re improving you could have help here instead.” “I can’t,”
Camila acknowledged, shaking her head as she leant back and
separated their foreheads. “I can’t Lauren, not if you really want
me to get back to how I was before, not if you truly want me to
move on, to live fully…I can’t come back yet Lauren…you don’t
understand what it’s like to live in my head, it’s not something
that can be fixed overnight…” “I’m so miserable without you here
 Camz,” Lauren told her as she sucked in a deep breath and
released it, sighing loudly. “I’ve been so fucking miserable and I’ve
hated every minute of it, I just…I want you back,” she said
releasing Camila’s other hand and tracing the curves of her
girlfriend’s body with her fingertips delicately, soaking them in,
committing them to memory again. “Then you need to let me go
again for now,” Camila told her seriously. “I can’t,” Lauren said,
her hands cupping the side of Camila’s face. “I can’t do that.” “You
can,” Camila reassured her, “It’ll be so much easier this time
Lauren, I promise you. You’ve already done it once and it’s
different now…I’m different now. I finally understand…” “How
long will you be gone?” she asked hesitantly. “How much longer
do you think it’ll be?” “I don’t know,” Camila answered honestly.
“I’m sorry, but Ijust don’t know.” “I’m too selfish to give you up
again,” Lauren told her. “You’re not,” Camila reassured her,
“you’re the least selfish person that I know Lauren and it won’t be
a complete separation, not like before,” Camila shared with her. “I
can leave the centre now. That’s part of the reason I’m here. I had
a therapy session early this morning and I’m allowed to come
home on day release or for the weekend if I want to. Plus,” she
continued enthusiastically, “you can come and visit me and we
can text and call…we could Skype too…you know, if you want to?”
Camila asked hesitantly, unsure of Lauren’s feelings. Camila
waited for a moment expectantly, hoping that Lauren would say
something but she didn’t, she just looked at Camila, studying her
 face all the while. “Perhaps it would be better if we were just
friends?” Camila suggested, her eyes betraying her fear at the
thought of Lauren taking up her offer. “If that’s easier I mean? I
know I’m making assumptions about us and I shouldn’t because
I’ve treated you so badly and…” Lauren leant forward and crashed
her lips against Camila’s forcefully, one hand wrapping around the
smaller girls waist and pulling her closer, the other hand tugging
gently on the back of her neck deepening the kiss pleasurably, her
tongue darting in to Camila’s mouth uninvited and hungry. “I
don’t want to be just your friend,” Lauren panted, feeling a little
breathless as they parted, Camila having battled her own tongue
with the taller girls eagerly. “I never have,” she admitted. “You
haven’t?” Camila asked feeling both hurt and confused at Lauren’s
words. “No,” Lauren reiterated. “I want to be more than that. I
want to be your best friend. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to
be the person that you love more than anyone else. I want to be
your everything Camz, and I want you to be mine.” She told her.
“We’re not just friends. I don’t want that. I don’t ever want that.”
“You don’t?” Camila asked her, the corner of her mouth turning
up in a halfsmile. “No,” Lauren said shaking her head and brushing
a stray strand of hair out of Camila’s eyes. “What about
everything that’s happened?” Camila asked. “You’re just going to
forget about the way that I’ve treated you? You’re just going to
ignore the fact that I haven’t spoken to you in six weeks? Like it
was all nothing? Like it never happened?” she questioned. “Yes,”
 Lauren told her smiling. “I am.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 5/11 “Why?” Camila asked. “I love you
Camz,” Lauren declared simply, a large smile breaking out across
her face as she stroked the hair at Camila’s brow soothingly.
“That’s it?” Camila asked. “That’s your reason?” “I don’t need
another reason to forgive you,” Lauren said genuinely. “So, you’re
still my girlfriend?” Camila asked tentatively and Lauren nodded
her head, her thumb caressing Camila’s cheek, her smile growing
larger at the question. “I fucking hope so,” she said, before as she
leant her face closer to Camila’s and planted a soft, chaste kiss
against her lips. “I’m so sorry,” Camila apologised once again, as
Lauren pulled her into another hug. Camila buried her face against
Lauren’s chest, her arms wrapping around her torso securely. “I’m
sorry too,” Lauren apologised. “I didn’t understand what you were
going through before,” she admitted. “I thought that I did, but I
didn’t, I had no idea what it was like for you Camz…” “What do
you mean?” Camila asked, lifting her gaze slightly to look into
Lauren’s green orbs. “Your depression,” Lauren clarified. Camila
stood up a minute to look at Lauren, her eyes studying her
girlfriend closely. “Are you saying that you do now?” Camila
asked, perceptive to Lauren’s meaning. “I wasn’t lying when I said
I’ve been miserable Camz,” Lauren told her. “There were days
where all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep. I barely had
the energy or motivation to do anything.” “Lauren…” Camila said,
tears springing to her eyes at the thought of her girlfriend feeling
so low. “Shh…” Lauren soothed her quickly, stroking her hair
again. “I’m ok, it wasn’t bad…” “It sounds bad,” Camila
interceded. “I’m fine now,” Lauren told her, hugging her close
again. “Now that you’re back, I’m alright.” “You can’t be happy
just because of me though,” Camila told her. “That’s exactly how
we got in to this mess in the first place.” “It’s different for me
then it is for you Camz,” Lauren reassured her. “I was upset
because of how we left things, because I thought that you hated
me and I was worried about you, about what you might do. It
wasn’t about me, not like it is for you…” “You thought that I might
kill myself?” Camila asked her and Lauren nodded her head in
confirmation. “I don’t think I could have lived with myself if that
had happened,” Lauren informed her. “It was all I would think
about and you were all I could think about. Everything reminded
me of you, reminded me of what I’d done and I think it made me
depressed,” she acknowledged. “I just, I wasn’t happy and I
couldn’t enjoy any of the things that I used to.” She paused for a
moment to look down at Camila who was quiet, thoughtful;
reflective and she buried her face into Lauren’s chest again. “I
wasn’t suicidal though,” Lauren shared with her, “I never thought
about killing myself, I was just….you broke my heart Camz,” she
admitted openly. “You fucking tore it in two when you didn’t
contact me, when you didn’t want to talk to me and I didn’t know
how to respond to that.” She realised as she said it. “I’ve never
loved anyone the way that Ilove you and I wasn’t prepared to deal
with losing you so suddenly.” “I’m sorry,” Camila apologised again
feeling guiltier than she ever had before in her life. “I already told
you I was being an idiot,” she reminded her. “I was being selfish.”
“No,” Lauren answered finally understanding something else.
“You were doing exactly what I wanted you to do Camz. You were
putting yourself first for a change, like you
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 6/11 needed to. It just, it hurt Camz. It
really fucking hurt.” “I still thought about you every day,” Camila
told her hurriedly, crushing her girlfriend in her arms as they
tightened around Lauren’s waist. “You’re what kept me going in
there at the beginning Lauren, you’re the reason I’m still here
now.” She informed her and Lauren quirked an eyebrow in a silent
question at her words. “What do you mean?” Lauren asked her. “I
thought that I’d wanted to die before,” Camila shared with her
honestly. “I thought that I’d been truly suicidal but I’ve never in
my entire life felt a stronger urge to kill myself then when I was in
there to begin with…” she continued, stepping back from Lauren
and rolling up the sleeve of her left arm to reveal a multitude of
new scars, small and delicate, littering her forearm haphazardly.
“Camz,” Lauren said, reaching a hand down and taking hold of the
smaller girl’s wrist firmly. She lifted Camila’s arm up to study it
closer, noting the fresh wounds, tears threatening to spill over
again at the sight of them. “What did you do to yourself?” she
asked, her voice catching in her throat as she tried not to cry. “I’m
sorry,” Camila apologised, her own voice thick with emotion.
“Why did you do it?” Lauren asked her sadly. “I just wanted to feel
something again,” Camila answered her truthfully. “I was so
weary of waking up and feeling numb, of feeling nothing. You
made me feel something Lauren, but I didn’t have you anymore
and they’d put me on so many different medications when I first
arrived there that I would walk around in a daze, like I was in
some kind of daydream.” She explained. “I was so tired.” She
continued. “So tired of everything, of living, of breathing, of
spending my day going through the same routine and one day I
got mad,” she told her. “I punched the mirror with my fist and it
cut my hand here,” she said, holding out her left hand and
pointing to a scar just above the knuckle of her index finger. “It
was strange how such a small cut could hurt so much Lauren,” she
shared with her, “but it hurt and Ifelt something. I knew it was
wrong but I didn’t care because feeling something was better
than nothing and once I’d started I couldn’t seem to stop.”
“Camz,” Lauren said lifting her girlfriends forearm up to her lips
and kissing it gently. “You don’t still do it do you?” she asked her,
not sure whether she wanted to hear the answer. “No,” Camila
told her honestly. “I don’t do it anymore. It was stupid, it was so
stupid Lauren. I can’t even believe that I’d done it to begin with.”
Lauren observed the new scars closely, noting the difference in
their length and apparent depth, how some had seemed hesitant,
 others more assured and deliberate. Her fingertips grazed one
particularly deep scar just below Camila’s wrist which widened
where it stopped as though she’d dug something in to the skin
there with the original intention of slitting her wrist, but, had
suddenly changed her mind. Camila withdrew her hand from
Lauren’s grasp embarrassed and rolled her sleeve back down
again to hide her wrist from view, avoiding the taller girls’
questioning stare. “Camz, you didn’t did you?” Lauren asked her,
placing a hand on the side of her girlfriends’ face and turning it
back towards her so that their eyes met again. “I wanted to,” she
told Lauren truthfully. “I wanted to kill myself so much and after
they saw the initial cuts the staff took everything out of my room
that I could possibly use to hurt myself.” She informed her, “but, I
went for a walk in the grounds and I found this stone,” she
recounted. “It was sharp, pointed,” she divulged. “So I hid it at the
base of one of the trees that I used to sit under and read my
books. Then one day, when I’d had a particularly bad therapy
session, when the temptation to end it all became too much and
the prospect of complete oblivion sounded appealing, I went
outside and I saw it there, taunting me.” She said and Lauren saw
tear slide down her cheek. “I picked it up and dug it in to my
wrist,” Camila told Lauren, “and for an instant I came this close to
killing myself, to actually doing it instead of just thinking about it.”
“What stopped you?” Lauren asked her, her own eyes stinging at
the thought of what would have happened had Camila gone
 through with it. “You did,” Camila told her simply. “You stopped
me Lauren. Every single time I picked up something sharp and I
hurt myself I’d think of you, of us and I’d stop. You saved me that
day under the tree. You’re the reason that I’m still here, both now
and before.” She told her thankfully. “You’ve saved my life twice
now.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trials-
andtribulationschapter45 7/11 “No,” Lauren disagreed. “You
saved your life Camila, not me.” “The thought of us being
together again is what got me through the hard days there
initially,” Camila shared with her, “and so I couldn’t bring myself
to ask about you, to call you or speak to you, because, all the time
that I didn’t I could pretend that there was still a chance for us,
that we would be alright, that we were alright and I needed that
to stay strong. I was worried that if I called you or if I spoke to
Dinah about you, that I’d find out that you hated me or that you
had moved on.” She revealed. “I know it was irrational, but, I was
irrational and I don’t think I could have gone on if I’d heard that. I
was protecting myself and that’s not an excuse, it’s just…it’s the
truth Lauren and I’m sorry you had to suffer because of something
that I chose to do.” “You keep apologising,” Lauren commented,
lifting up a hand to brush another strand of hair out of Camila’s
eyes, “but, I don’t want you to apologise for doing what you think
was right for yourself Camz.” “Ijust, Ifeel like I should explain
myself.” Camila told her. “I want us to start over,” Lauren
countered. “I want us to move on.” “You don’t want to talk about
 it?” Camila asked her. “Not now,” Lauren answered shaking her
head. “I’ve got part two of the Camila Chronicles upstairs in a
box,” she reminded her girlfriend, pointing to the ceiling
emphatically with her index finger. “They’ll help me to
understand, just like your notebook did…” “My soul,” Camila
interceded pointedly. “Your soul,” Lauren corrected, smiling at
Camila’s words before continuing. “I don’t want to dwell on it
anymore, Ijust want us to be together, that’s all that I want.” She
paused for a moment to kiss Camila’s forehead softly. “Do you
remember after we had that fight about Rachel?” Lauren asked
Camila and the smaller girl nodded her head in confirmation. “You
came here and you said that you just wanted to forget about the
whole day, to pretend that it was the following one…” “So?”
Camila asked recollecting the exchange. “So,” Lauren said,
stepping closer to Camila, one hand sliding around her waist to
settle on the small of her back. “I want us to do that now too.”
“You’ll forgive me that easily?” she asked and Lauren nodded her
head. “You forgave me,” she reminded her. “If you’re sure…”
Camila said hesitantly and Lauren stepped around her to close the
back door, barring her exit, the smaller girls’ eyes following her as
she did so, her torso rotating in the same direction, a confused
expression on her face. “I’m sure,” Lauren told her as she crashed
their lips together again; one hand finding its way to the base of
Camila’s neck, the other behind her waist as she pushed their hips
together slightly. “Ok good,” Camila said, smiling brightly when
 they separated, their arms still wrapped loosely around each
other, “because it’s Valentine’s Day in three days and I’ve got you
something,” she said enthusiastically. “Camz, I haven’t got you
anything,” Lauren told her wretchedly. “Honestly, I thought that
we were over, that you didn’t want to be with me anymore, that
you hated me.” “That’s ok,” Camila reassured her, kissing her
softly on the lips. “You’re what I wanted for Valentine’s Day
anyway.” Lauren smiled at Camila’s response and took her
girlfriends’ hand in her own, leading her in through the house and
into the living room. She directed Camila on to the sofa and
descended on to the seat beside her, kicking her legs up
underneath her and sitting on them out of habit. “So you’re going
back tomorrow night?” Lauren asked her once they’d settled in to
their positions, Camila facing the taller girl who held her
girlfriend’s hand firmly and was playing with her fingers
instinctively, slipping easily back in to the old habit. “Yes,” Camila
told her, meeting Lauren’s gaze levelly, “but, I could come back at
the weekend and see you.” She offered enthusiastically.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 8/11 “I wondered whether you’d let me
come and see you,” Lauren countered uncertainly. “I’d like to see
where you live if you’re ok with that?” she asked. “I drove up
there once before but, they wouldn’t let me in so I’ve no idea
what it’s like and I’m interested to see it. I think it’d be good for
me to understand what your life there consists of so that I don’t
find it so hard when you’re there.” “I’m sorry that I got your hopes
up,” Camila apologised, placing her free hand on Lauren’s knee. “I
just thought it would be better to talk to you in person whilst I
was here,” she informed her. “No, you’re right,” Lauren reassured
her. “You need to stay there and get the help you need,” she said,
her other hand sliding down to caress the new scars on Camila’s
left wrist meaningfully. “Just come back to me properly as soon as
you can ok?” “Ok,” Camila said smiling as she leant forward to kiss
Lauren on the lips, her own lingering there for a moment
reluctant to break the contact. “I promise you that I’ll be back
before you know, you’ll see.” “So how did you get here?” Lauren
asked her after a moment as she continued to stroke Camila’s left
forearm rhythmically with her fingertips. “My parents picked me
up,” she informed Lauren. “I spoke to them yesterday and it was
decided that if my therapist cleared me to leave then I could be
released this morning to attend the deposition tomorrow.
Otherwise they’d have to have sent someone to the rehabilitation
centre to get my statement.” “The deposition is tomorrow?”
Lauren asked her surprised. “Dinah didn’t mention anything.” “I
didn’t tell Dinah,” Camila said seriously. “We weren’t one hundred
percent sure that it was definitely going to happen or not.
Everything was dependent on how my therapy session went.”
“Well, they obviously think that you’re doing alright Camz,”
Lauren offered supportively. “Otherwise they wouldn’t have let
you come home.” “Yeah, it’s really good.” Camila agreed happily.
 “They’re actually pretty strict about letting people out on day
release if they’re not ready so I guess that means that they trust
me.” “Are you worried about tomorrow?” Lauren asked her
interestedly. “Yes,” Camila admitted without difficulty, “but I have
to face the driver eventually so I suppose tomorrow is as good a
time as any right?” “Are your parents going to be with you?”
Lauren asked her. “Dinah said that you haven‘t seen them much
since you were admitted to rehab.” “I only saw them for the first
time this morning when they picked me up,” Camila shared with
her. “I was angry at them for sending me away and so I refused to
see them. I hate to admit it but Ithink I was trying to punish them
for finally admitting that they couldn’t manage me at home
anymore…Ifeel awful about it now, but, I can’t take it back.” “Was
it really awkward when you saw them?” Lauren asked worriedly.
“I mean, you’re all ok now aren’t you?” “The thing that I’ve learnt
about parents is that they have a surprising knack for forgiveness
when it comes to their children,” Camila shared with her girlfriend
thoughtfully. “My parents have literally been through hell and
back with me but this morning, after I’d shunned them for six
weeks out of pettiness, they both ran up to me and pulled me in
to the tightest hug,” Camila continued, a halfsmile forming on her
lips at the memory. “They were so happy to see me that it was as
though nothing had happened at all, kind of like I’d just been
away at camp for the summer or something.” She paused for a
moment to wipe at the corner of her eye where a tear was
 forming and threatening to fall. “We spent a lot of time together
talking when we got home and I apologised,” she told Lauren.
“My therapist is really keen on apologies. She says that they’re
good for the soul. That they help you to move forward positively
and accept what you can’t change.” “She sounds smart,” Lauren
noted smiling. “She is,” Camila agreed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 9/11 “So, I’m dying to know how you
planned your joke.” Lauren said, changing the subject to a slightly
more upbeat one. “Oh that,” Camila laughed to herself. “Well,
actually, when I made the video this wasn’t even the joke that I
was talking about.” She admitted. “It wasn’t?” Lauren asked
amused. “No,” Camila chuckled. “The joke I was talking about was
‘What does a pig use when it has a skin rash?’” she asked. Lauren
frowned, shaking her head in response to the question. “I’ve no
idea,” she answered shrugging. “Oinkment.” She finished and
Lauren chuckled, more at Camila then the joke. “You said it was a
really good joke,” Lauren reminded her entertained. “That was
just… well, awful if I’m honest. Where did you hear it?” she asked.
“I made it up,” Camila responded lightly, unfazed. “Ok, then I’m
confused,” Lauren told her. “How did the whole ‘knock knock’
joke come around?” “Well, actually I only thought of it this
morning and it kind of relied on a lot of factors falling in to place,”
she shared with Lauren. “I mean, I came round to drop off the box
of CD’s and the letter…” “Wait, you dropped them off?” she
 asked. “Yeah, your mom let me in earlier,” Camila answered
laughing lightly. “Didn’t you notice that there isn’t a label on the
parcel or an address on the letter?” she asked. “It’s just your
name. How did you think they’d gotten here?” Lauren chuckled at
herself, amused that she’d missed such an obvious sign. “My mom
knew you were back?” she asked surprised. “Why the hell didn’t
she tell me?” Lauren questioned. “I asked her not to,” Camila
informed her. “I didn’t think it would be a good idea in case you
came round and beat the crap out of me or something…” “What?”
Lauren laughed. “I would never have done that.” “Well, a girl can’t
be too careful.” She commented dryly. “I mean, there are some
crazy people out there Lauren and they just go around hitting
girls’ for no real reason in libraries.” She mocked herself. “So you
dropped off the CD’s…” Lauren prompted her, eager to hear the
story. “Right,” Camila said, slapping Lauren’s knee lightly. “Your
mom let me in and I put them in your room,” she continued.
“Then I went home to spend some time with my mom and dad.”
“Hold on,” Lauren said realising something. “You’ve been home
since this morning?” she asked and Camila nodded. “Dinah said
she’d called you at lunch and you were going to go and lie down.”
“I did,” Camila laughed. “Just…in my own bed for once.” “What
time did you get back this morning?” Lauren asked her. “Around
ten,” Camila told her. “My parents dropped me off here on the
way home.” “Ok,” Lauren said, waving her hand and laughing
again at Camila’s story. “Go on…” “So, I went home to spend
some time with my parents and then had a quick power nap,” she
said smiling. “Afterwards, I walked back round here to wait in
your garden for school to get out,” Camila told her. “You’ve been
waiting in my garden all afternoon?” Lauren asked her in disbelief.
“Yeah,” Camila admitted. “I had to be here just in case you
called.” “What if I hadn’t called you?” Lauren asked amused.
“Well, then, I guess I would have just sat in your back garden until
it was getting close to my curfew and walked home again.” Camila
realised, making a face at the thought. “That
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65174783704/trialsand-
tribulationschapter45 10/11 would have sucked actually,” she
continued after a moment’s consideration. “I didn’t really think
about that…” Lauren smiled at Camila’s comments and smiled
brightly, leaning forward to kiss her girlfriend tenderly on the lips.
“You knew I’d call you,” Lauren said when they parted. “I hoped
that you would,” Camila disagreed. “I didn’t know anything for
certain.” “What about Normani?” Lauren asked her remembering
the perfect timing of her arrival. “Pure coincidence,” Camila
confessed shrugging. “How did you know it was her at the door if
you were in the back garden?” Lauren asked intrigued. “I was
watching through the dining room window,” Camila disclosed. “I
have to admit that my heart started thumping really loudly in my
chest when I saw you running to the door.” She told her smiling.
“It still is a little bit, look…feel it,” she suggested, lifting up their
entwined hands and placing them over her chest. “You’re a dork,”
 Lauren told her kissing her as she leant forward and kissed her
again. “Perhaps,” Camila acknowledged, “but I’m your dork.”
“Forever?” Lauren asked her, wrapping her arms around Camila’s
shoulders, grateful to have her back in her arms once again as she
pulled her into a warm hug. “No, not forever,” Camila answered
smirking slightly as she lifted her head to meet Lauren’s gaze. “For
an eternity.” She said and she stretched her neck to kiss Lauren
lightly on the lips, snuggling up against her chest as they sat
together, curled up on the sofa, both their moods infinitely better
than when they had woken up in the morning.
Chapter 46
“So what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Lauren asked
Camila, the two of them still cuddled up on the sofa together.
Camila’s head was buried against Lauren’s shoulder and she tilted
her face slightly in order to meet her girlfriend’s questioning gaze.
“I don’t have any,” Camila answered, her fingers brushing against
the back of Lauren’s hand tenderly where it lay on her lap. “Why?
What did you have in mind?” she asked. “I thought maybe we
could go out?” Lauren halftold her, halfasked; her voice hesitant
as though she doubted Camila would want to go. “On a date?”
Camila questioned, a smile appearing at the corner of her mouth,
her eyes sparkling brightly at the suggestion. “Yeah,” Lauren
answered, dropping her eyes down to where their hands sat
together in her girlfriend’s lap. She lifted them up carefully to her
lips and planted a soft, affectionate kiss to the back of Camila’s
hand. “What do you think?” “I think,” Camila replied with a playful
glint in her eye as she stretched upwards and kissed Lauren gently
on the mouth, soft flesh moulding against its counterpart snugly.
“I would really like that.” “Ithought that perhaps I could take you
out for something to eat?” Lauren suggested. Camila shifted her
position on the sofa slightly, lifting her head up enthusiastically at
the idea. “Can we go to Jimmy’s?” she asked excitedly, moving
one of her legs over Lauren’s hips so that she was straddling her.
“Ilove it there and I haven’t been for ages.” “Let me guess,”
Lauren chuckled in amusement, her free hand reaching up to tuck
a strand of Camila’s hair behind her ear and out of her eyes. “You
want the hot wings.” “Am I that predictable?” Camila asked, tilting
her head slightly to the side, an adorable expression on her face
which gave Lauren the sudden desire to pinch her girlfriend’s
cheeks. “Yes,” Lauren told her, sitting up a bit further and placing
her hand on the side of Camila’s neck to prevent her from
succumbing to the impulse. “I don’t just want hot wings though,”
Camila told her, shifting her weight a little, one of her hips
beginning to ache from the awkward position she was sat in. “I
want other things as well…” “Things like pizza?” Lauren queried,
cutting her off and raising one eyebrow knowingly at her girlfriend
who feigned offence in return. “Of course I want pizza,” Camila
scoffed lightheartedly. “Why was that even a question?” “I don’t
know,” Lauren said smiling brightly, her hands moving to stroke
Camila’s sides delicately. “I guess I was just checking that you
 weren’t brainwashed whilst you were away.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 2/11 Camila chuckled and Lauren felt her
grin broaden subconsciously in response to the musical sound as
it met with her ears. “What’s so funny?” Lauren questioned and
Camila placed a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder to steady
herself, her weight precariously balanced across her girlfriend’s
lap near the edge of the sofa. “Well, I just find it kind of ironic
because isn’t that the reason that I got sent to the treatment
centre in the first place?” she explained amused. “You know, to
get my head straight?” “Yeah, to get your head straight Camz,”
Lauren agreed her grin still firmly in place. “I don’t want you
turning into some drooling, subservient girlfriend who can’t think
for herself and has undergone a complete personality change
though,” she teased playfully. “Oh interesting,” Camila said
smiling mischievously as she leant forward and closed the
distance between them, her mouth stopping just short of
Lauren’s, her dark chocolate eyes fixed firmly on the translucent
green of her girlfriend’s. “I thought that perhaps you might have
appreciated a submissive girlfriend.” She exhaled suggestively, her
warm breath tantalising against Lauren’s skin. Lauren swallowed
hard and shook her head from side to side weakly in
disagreement. “One of the things Ilove about you the most is your
mind,” Lauren told her, reaching up one hand to caress Camila’s
brow meaningfully. “I don’t ever want you to lose that, it’s what
 makes you who you are.” “I could never really lose it though,”
Camila said happily, inching her mouth even closer to Lauren’s
provocatively. “Not really. Especially whilst you hold the key to it,
whilst you keep it safe for me.” She finished, her hand making its
way up to Lauren’s neck to search for the pendant that she’d
bought her as a gift for Christmas. Lauren lifted her own hand up
quickly to stay Camila’s wandering one but it was too late to stop
her girlfriend from discovering the necklace was missing and she
pulled her head back, a frown plastered across her features. “Did
you take it off?” Camila asked, unable to hide the hurt in her
voice, a wounded expression appearing on her face. Lauren
weighed up the possible responses in her head, debating whether
or not the best course of action would be to lie or tell Camila the
truth. “I took it off today,” Lauren finally decided to admit and
Camila shifted her weight so that she was no longer sitting in the
taller girls’ lap, instead settling herself back down on to the
cushion beside her, the physical distance between them betraying
her emotions more than any words could. “Oh,” she responded,
running a hand through her hair, her gaze not quite meeting
Lauren’s. “Ok,” she said nodding her head faintly. “Camz,” Lauren
said, placing a hand on her girlfriend’s upper arm and rubbing it
reassuringly. “I’ve kept it on all this time I promise, it was just
today I took it off.” She informed her. “I kind of had a breakdown
of my own at school this morning and removed it,” she shared. “I
thought that we were over and I was pissed at you for not
 contacting me…please don’t be mad…” she pleaded. “I’m not
mad,” Camila said sadly and Lauren could see that she wasn’t
lying to her. Camila definitely wasn’t mad; in fact she didn’t look
angry at all, she looked crushed and Lauren felt her heart drop in
her chest at the pained expression on her girlfriends face. “Please
don’t read too much in to it,” Lauren asked of her, lifting up a
hand to cup Camila’s chin so that she could turn the smaller girls
face to look at her. “It was a reaction, nothing more. It doesn’t
mean anything Camz. I did it in the heat of the moment. It’d been
six weeks so Ithought it was time Itried to move on, to try and
forget you so that I could finally get back to normal again…”
Camila stood up from the sofa quickly and she reached up one
hand towards her face, the back of it covering her mouth as she
paced across the living room floor in front of Lauren, her other
hand resting on her hip. “Camz, are you alright?”” Lauren asked
standing to make a move towards her, but Camila stopped in her
tracks and turned to face Lauren as she prompted Camila to, “say
something.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 3/11 “I don’t know if I can do this,” Camila
told her and Lauren furrowed her brow in confusion. “What do
you mean?” she asked puzzled. “This,” Camila said, gesturing
between the two of them. “I don’t know if I can do this.” “Are you
joking?” Lauren asked her in disbelief, taking a step towards
Camila. “After everything that Ijust said to you?” she questioned.
 “Itold you that Ilove you Camz; that I forgive you and now you’re
not sure about us because I’m not wearing the pendant that you
gave me?” “No, it’s not about that,” Camila told her. “I mean, ok it
is but, it’s just, something doesn’t feel right.” “What doesn’t feel
right?” Lauren asked her mystified. “I don’t understand what just
happened?” “I feel guilty ok,” Camila admitted and she ran a hand
through her hair again, dropping her eyes to the floor
momentarily before finally meeting Lauren’s gaze. “It’s about
me.” She clarified. “I’m not mad at you and I don’t blame you for
taking it off.” She shared honestly. “In fact, I’m surprised that you
kept it on that long to be honest. After all, I didn’t exactly do
anything to give you the impression that we were still together.”
“Camz, you look upset though,” Lauren noted and she reached a
hand up as though she was going to hold on to the side of her
neck comfortingly but Camila stepped back out of Lauren’s reach,
one hand raised between them. “I’m not upset with you. I’m
upset with myself.” Camila reassured her. “I know that you said it
doesn’t matter,” Camila went on, watching Lauren closely for her
reaction. “I know that you said you wanted to forget it and move
on.” She explained. “I really want that too but I can’t help the way
that I feel Lauren. I feel like nothing I do now will ever be able to
make up for what I’ve put you through the last six weeks.” She
expressed. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being stupid but I hate that I
made you doubt us,” she disclosed, “and I hate that I made you
depressed.” She added sadly. “Mostly, I hate that I caused you
 pain and that I hurt you Lauren.” “Same,” Lauren told her simply,
taking a tentative step towards Camila again. “It’s not the same,”
Camila responded. “You didn’t do this to me. You didn’t hurt me;
you didn’t cause me pain or make me depressed Lauren. I was
already like that when you met me. You took me away from that,
you were like a ray of light in the cavernous dark, a glimmer of
hope that soon I’d be able to see again and, I could for a while, I
just, I kept returning back to it again, losing myself in the shadows
because I didn’t deal with the issues at the root of my problems.”
She paused for a moment to study Lauren closely. “You were
happy before you met me Lauren and I changed that. I was like a
dark cloud that came and blotted out your light, I soaked it up,
like an absorbent sponge until there was nothing left but darkness
once again.” She paused to run her hand through her hair, sighing.
“Sometimes I wish that I could make you fall out of love with me,
that I could make it so that you had never met me, so that you
were still living your uncomplicated life with Ally and Normani,
completely oblivious to me, unhurt and unbroken.” She shared
with her. “You can’t make me fall out of love with you Camz,”
Lauren told her seriously taking another step towards her. “You
aren’t responsible for the way that I feel about you because you
had absolutely no say in the matter.” She explained. “None. Even I
couldn’t control it, it just happened. I fell in love with you and you
can’t feel guilty about that because I knew who you were when I
met you and I still loved you anyway. I still love you anyway.” She
 reminded Camila again. “What if I hurt you again?” Camila asked
her, “what if I make you doubt us…what if this doesn’t work out?”
“Camz,” Lauren said, taking a step towards her girlfriend and
placing a hand on her hip hesitantly, her confidence growing
when Camila didn’t move away. “Someone once told me that a
smooth sea never made a skilled sailor,” she reminded her and
she felt her heart flutter, the corner of Camila’s mouth twitched
slightly as she tried to suppress a smile. “We hit a rough patch on
our voyage,” she continued, deciding to run with the nautical
theme, knowing Camila’s love for the ocean and the beach. “We
got caught in a storm for a while and now the sea is starting to
settle again,” she explained. “There’ll be more bad weather, there
always is,” she acknowledged, “but next time we’ll know how to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 4/11 fare it better, we’ll be more equipped
to deal with it. The next time we hit rough water we’ll ride it out
together, we’ll navigate the choppy waves until the storm finally
breaks, the sea calms and the sun is shining brightly on our ship
once again.” “The USS Camren,” Camila said, finally allowing a
smile to spread across her features. “Right,” Lauren laughed, the
hand on Camila’s hip moving up the smaller girls’ side before
grazing her stomach over her sweater. “Just, don’t let Dinah hear
you call us that,” she mused thoughtfully, knowing the other girl
would love nothing more than to have a new nickname for the
pair of them. “Deal,” Camila promised and Lauren placed her free
 hand on to her girlfriend’s upper arm. “So, are we alright?” she
asked uncertainly. “Or do we need to talk about this some more?”
“I still feel like I owe you something,” Camila imparted truthfully.
“I don’t know, perhaps it’ll just take a while for us to be
completely comfortable with one another again, to trust each
other implicitly like we did before.” “I think that’s normal though,”
she reassured Camila. “I don’t think we can expect it to just go
back to the way it was over night,” she agreed. “A lot has changed
since we last saw each other. You’ve changed,” she observed,
“and that’s not a bad thing, it’s good.” She said supportively. “It’s
really good Camz, but, it’ll take some time.” She paused for a
moment, closing the distance between their bodies slightly. “I’ve
changed too,” Lauren admitted. “I know that as much as I need to
support you with your problems, I also have to look after myself,”
she told Camila and the smaller girl nodded in agreement with
Lauren’s words. “I need to be honest with you when I’m feeling
overwhelmed or I don’t know what to do to help you. I’ve
expected you to open up to me and it’s only fair that I do the
same thing.” Lauren brushed Camila’s cheek lightly with the pad
of her thumb. “Does that sound ok?” Lauren asked her anxiously,
unsure whether she wanted to hear Camila’s response. “Can we
try it and see how it goes? Can we please just start over? We can
take things slowly to begin with and get to know each other again.
I think we needed the break Camz,” she admitted grudgingly. “I
think we needed to find ourselves again. We got so caught up in
 our relationship that we forgot who we were outside of it.” “I
wasn’t anything,” Camila told her and Lauren sighed just as her
girlfriend went on to explain. “I mean, I didn’t know who I was
after the accident, but, I’m finally starting to rediscover myself
now. That’s why I can’t come back just yet, not properly, because I
want to be the best version of myself that I can. I want to be
someone that you can be proud of, someone who deserves a
great girlfriend like you.” “I am already so proud of you Camz,”
Lauren informed her, caressing her brow with her hand. “You
deserve all the happiness in the world and I don’t want you to
ever think that you’re not good enough for me because you are.”
Camila dropped her gaze to the floor, not quite believing Lauren’s
words, that same lack of selfesteem still present. “We’ll be
stronger because of this,” Lauren said confidently, lifting Camila’s
chin to look at her once again. “You’ll see Camz,” she reassured
her. “We’ll learn from it and grow.” She commented. “Without
navigating a rough sea we’d never become good sailors and then,
when a superstorm hits our ship would sink, it’d break up into tiny
little pieces. I don’t want that. I want us to learn the skills that will
help us traverse the coarse water safely so that one day, when I’m
rich and we’re older I can finally buy you that beach house,” she
said lightly and Camila smiled at the recollection of Lauren’s plans
for their future. “Remember?” she asked. “I remember you made
me senile,” Camila chuckled and Lauren exhaled in relief at the
sight of her girlfriend beginning to relax slightly. “Well, you’re cute
 when you’re confused,” Lauren informed her, pressing their hips
together, her hands finding their way around Camila’s waist to sit
against the small of her back. “A little bit infuriating,” she
admitted, “but, definitely cute.” “When have you ever seen me
confused?” Camila asked genuinely interested and Lauren gave
her a disbelieving look.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 5/11 “Camz,” she began, laughing lightly to
herself. “You spent the best part of the first three months that I
knew you confused,” she reminded her. “Plus, I’ve seen you when
you’ve come around after a seizure,” she added. “You’re
particularly adorable then.” She shared. “Just, not if it involves a
visit to the intensive care unit.” She finished thoughtfully. “How is
it fair that you get a glimpse of my senility and I don’t get to see
yours?” Camila asked playfully. “I’m not going to become a
doddering geriatric,” Lauren stated confidently. “How do you
know that?” Camila asked, laughing. “How do you know that I
won’t be the sane one when I’m older?” “Well, because I’m going
to look after you,” Lauren explained as though it was the most
logical response in the world. “So, I can’t be forgetful and
confused can I?” “Maybe I’ll look after you,” Camila suggested. “I
think I’d like to look after you for a change.” “Ok, well, why don’t
we just promise to look after each other?” Lauren queried, pulling
Camila closer to her again. “So I’ll take care of you,” Camila said,
dropping her face towards Lauren’s again, her tone impish, “and
 you’ll look after me?” she asked, her mouth now mere
centimetres from her girlfriend’s. “Exactly,” Lauren said
approvingly. “Fine,” Camila conceded, tilting her head forwards
slightly and engaging her lips with Lauren’s which were
anticipating the contact eagerly. “I can live with that
compromise,” Camila muttered against Lauren’s lips and the
greeneyed girl smiled against Camila’s lips happily. “Good,” she
said, kissing Camila again, her hands finding their way up her
girlfriend’s back to rest between her shoulders. “Just keep in
mind,” Camila began, kissing Lauren again as she paused. “That,
when you are in fact, old and disorientated;I’ll be the person
telling you ‘Itold you so.’” Lauren laughed; the sound coming out
low and throaty. “You know what Camz?” Lauren asked
rhetorically. “If I’m senile when we’re older than you can tell me ‘I
told you so’ as many times as you like because the odds are, I
won’t remember.” Camila opened her mouth as if to say
something in response but stopped before any noise was emitted,
the irony in Lauren’s words clear. “Huh,” Camila said, her nose
scrunching up in thought and causing Lauren to lean forward to
plant a soft kiss to the tip of it lightly. “Well, where’s the fun in
that?” “I don’t know,” Lauren said, bringing her mouth towards
Camila’s again, “but, I’m sure you’ll find it somehow.” She noted,
connecting their lips, her tongue probing lightly at Camila’s
mouth, asking for admittance, requesting it fervently. Camila
opened her mouth readily and Lauren’s tongue darted inside,
 Camila sucking on it pleasurably, enjoying the taste of her
girlfriend, savouring it, one of her hands roaming down to sit on
the toned curve of Lauren’s buttock, the other cupping the side of
her face and stroking the soft skin there lightly. Lauren tried to
move her head back to look at Camila, to admire her beauty but,
the other girl wouldn’t let her break the contact, her hand sliding
around to the back of Lauren’s head and holding it in place as she
continued to kiss her deeply, her tongue dancing with her
girlfriends’ enthusiastically, the hand on Lauren’s buttock pulling
their hips together harder. “Is this all you two do?” Lauren heard
Chris’ voice ask from the direction of the door and Camila
released her grasp on her girlfriend, the two of them turning to
look at him in unison. “Jesus Chris,” Lauren groaned, feeling
flustered. “How the fuck are you so quiet? You have size eleven
feet.” “I’m your younger brother,” Chris informed her jokingly.
“It’s written in the handbook’ ‘How to sneak up on your sister and
gather useful blackmail material’”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 6/11 “You’re an ass,” Lauren laughed and
Chris smiled, leaning against the door frame nonchalantly. “Ilove
you too sis,” he replied before turning his attention to Camila.
“Nice to see you again Camila,” he greeted and Camila smiled in
response, offering him a warm wave. “Can you do me a favour?”
he asked, glancing at Lauren briefly and Camila nodded her head.
“Sure,” she said in reply. “Be more careful with my sister’s heart
 would you?” he requested. “She’s not as tough as she likes to
think she is sometimes and you seem to be the only person
capable of ripping it out of her chest completely.” “Chris!” Lauren
protested, looking to Camila worriedly but she felt herself relax
when she felt Camila’s small hand reach down to entwine with
her own, a smile on her face. “What?” Chris queried surprised.
“It’s a brother’s prerogative to protect his sister. If Camila was a
guy I’d threaten to punch her if she ever hurt you again.” “Are
you…” Lauren started to complain but Camila put her free hand
on Lauren’s arm, stopping her immediately. “It’s ok,” Camila told
her seriously. “He’s right, I should have been more careful with
it,” she acknowledged and Chris gave Lauren a meaningful look
before smiling kindly at Camila. “I will be in future,” Camila
promised him. “I’ll look after it. I will.” “That’s all I ask,” Chris
replied; his manner friendly and his approval of Camila evident in
his next words. “I mean, I’m expecting to be best man at your
wedding so I’ll be pissed if the two of you disappoint me.” “Oh my
God,” Lauren exclaimed embarrassed as her brother stepped in to
the living room and flopped on to the sofa, reaching for the
remote to turn on the TV. “Chris…” she protested. “Can’t you go
upstairs?” “No,” he said, almost instantly reverting back to the
stereotypical role of annoying younger brother. “I want to watch
the TV.” Lauren rolled her eyes at her brother and tugged on
Camila’s hand gently, leading her into the hallway. “Sorry about
that,” Lauren apologised, turning to glare at her brother from her
 position, Chris completely oblivious, his attention fixed firmly on
the screen in front of him. “That’s ok,” Camila said reassuringly,
squeezing Lauren’s hand in her own and swinging it between
them for a moment. “I actually kind of like the idea of Chris being
your best man at our wedding though,” she commented and
Lauren laughed at the thoughtful expression on Camila’s face.
“What makes you think I’d be the groom?” she asked pushing
Camila’s shoulder lightly, her stomach twisting excitedly at the
prospect that one day they might get married, that they’d commit
to each other formally in front of everyone that knew and loved
them. “I don’t think you’d be the groom necessarily,” Camila
chuckled unaware of Lauren’s hopeful daydreaming. “I just think
that if we had a choice between Chris and Dinah for best man that
you’d probably prefer your brother.” Lauren’s eyebrow rose
slightly at Camila’s words and she considered the idea of Dinah
giving a speech at their imagined nuptials. “Good point,” she
noted, laughing. “So,” Camila said timidly, dropping her gaze to
the floor for a moment and changing the subject, “I vaguely
remember you offering to take me out for something to eat
earlier.” “I seem to remember the same thing,” Lauren agreed,
wrapping an arm around Camila’s shoulders and leading her
towards the front door. “Oh no wait,” Camila said, realising
something and hurriedly vanishing in to the kitchen, reappearing a
few minutes later with her phone in her hand. “I dropped this
earlier,” she said, turning the phone over to examine it.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 7/11 “Is it broken?” Lauren asked as Camila
stepped through the front door which she held open for her.
“No,” Camila answered evidently thankful for the small mercy. “It
looks fine.” She told her as Lauren stepped out on to the front
step and closed the door behind her, draping an arm around
Camila’s shoulder again as they made their way towards her car
together. “It looks like Dinah has found out that you’re back,” she
commented, noting the number of missed calls from their friend.
“I’ll call her back later,” Camila said, sliding the device in to her
back pocket. “I want to spend some time getting to know my
girlfriend again if that’s alright? You know, since we’re starting
over and everything.” Lauren smiled and pecked Camila on the
lips softly. “That sounds perfect to me,” she approved, unlocking
her car with the fob on her key ring and guiding Camila in to the
passenger seat safely. Lauren closed the door and made her way
around the car, getting in beside her. She drove the two of them
together towards Jimmy’s diner, pulling in to a vacant space at the
curb a few yards down the road from it, turning off the engine
having put the car in park and ensuring the hand brake was on.
Lauren climbed out of the car and hurriedly made her way round
to the passenger side to help Camila out of the vehicle, taking her
girlfriend’s hand and aiding her up on to her feet, the smaller girl
losing her balance initially. “Here,” Lauren said, sliding her hand
around Camila’s waist and pulling her close in to her side in order
 to support her, the other hand pushing the door closed and
locking the car with a decisive sounding click of the mechanism.
“You got it?” Lauren asked releasing Camila slightly, the other girl
resting her hand against the rear passenger door for a moment to
steady herself. “Yeah, Ithink so,” Camila replied, taking her hand
away from the door and relaxing it by her side where Lauren
quickly scooped it up in to her own. “Just in case,” Lauren
informed her, squeezing Camila’s hand reassuringly. Camila
smiled in response, leaning her body against Lauren’s as they
made their way down the street towards the diner. “Lauren look!”
Camila said pointing enthusiastically at a small dog which was tied
up securely outside the diner. She stepped in front of Lauren and
crouched down eager to pet the small beagle which was sat
obediently awaiting the return on its owner. “It’s so cute,” she
commented cheerfully, “look at him…her…” Camila debated. “No
it’s a him, definitely.” She decided, petting the top of the canine’s
head carefully, her fingers moving to stroke beneath its jowls.
“Camz you should be careful,” Lauren warned crouching down
beside her girlfriend. “It might bite you.” “It’s not going to bite
me,” Camila replied as she stroked underneath the small dogs
chin. “Are you?” she asked, her voice taking on the tone you’d use
with a small child, the sound of it stirring all sorts of unexpected
feelings in Lauren. “You’re a good dog, aren’t you? Look how well
behaved you are sat out here.” She continued, her voice causing
Lauren to look at her, a large grin spreading across her face at the
sight of Camila’s broad smile and adorably scrunched up features
as she babied the dog. “I didn’t know you liked dogs,” Lauren
commented, reaching her own hand out and patting the beagle as
it turned its head to lick Camila’s hand affectionately. “I love
dogs,” Camila told practically sang and Lauren laughed as her
girlfriend started pulling funny faces at the creature in front of
her. She stuck out her tongue for a moment before scrunching up
her face again and stroking the dog’s head gently, the animal
attempting to lick her hand again. “I think it likes you,” Lauren
noted and Camila tilted up her face to look at Lauren and smile,
the other girls’ heart fluttering in her chest at the carefree
expression on her girlfriends’ face. “Do you think we could get
away with stealing it?” Camila asked Lauren conspiratorially.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 8/11 “I don’t think so Camz,” Lauren
laughed and Camila pouted, giving the brunette her best puppy
dog eyes and lowering her head so that it sat beside the dogs, an
uncanny resemblance between the two of them. “Oh God,”
Lauren said, reaching in to her pocket and pulling out her phone.
“Hold that for just a minute,” she instructed, turning her phone
horizontally and taking a quick picture of the scene before her,
capturing it for a lifetime of admiration. She lifted the phone
closer to her face and observed the picture before turning it
around for Camila to see. “Aww….” Camila said, observing the
snapshot of the lovable beagle and herself. “I really want it.” She
 informed Lauren. “Are you sure we can’t steal it? I promise that
no one would have to know. I’ll hide it in my room at the
treatment centre and feed it off scraps from the dining room.”
She told her, causing Lauren to lift one corner of her mouth
entertained. “I’ll call him Jasper and in the summer he can wear
sunglasses to protect his eyes from getting sore and I’ll lend him
my earphones so that he can listen to music with me and develop
a healthy respect for Ed Sheeran.” “Ok, I’m going to take you
inside now so that you don’t actually steal the dog,” Lauren joked,
chuckling lightly to herself as she stood up and pulled gently on
Camila’s hand, dragging her on to her feet as well. “No, please,”
Camila feigned begging. “Just five more minutes?” she asked. “In
five minutes, you’ll have the leash undone and will be halfway to
Mexico,” Lauren said amused at the thought of Camila absconding
with her bounty. “Fine,” Camila huffed, pouting again as Lauren
pulled her into a quick kiss, wrapping the smaller girl up in her
arms and hugging her tightly. “Don’t pout,” Lauren scolded light-
heartedly as they parted and Camila smirked at her girlfriend in
response. “Don’t make me,” she responded playfully and Lauren
kissed her quickly again, shaking her head for a moment and
guiding Camila towards the door of the diner, gesturing her
through it. They sat together in the same booth that they had the
day that they’d eaten there with Dinah and the rest of the girl’s,
Lauren facing Camila, her back towards the door, one of each of
their hands held together on the table. “Have you ever had a
 dog?” Lauren asked Camila and her girlfriend shook her head as
she examined the menu in her other hand. “No,” she answered,
lifting her gaze for a moment to look at Lauren. “I always wanted
one growing up but my parents didn’t have the time to look after
it properly with work and everything. They said that I could
possibly have one when I was older if I promised I would look
after it, because, at the time I was too young to care for it
responsibly, but, then the accident happened and I couldn’t even
take care of myself, yet alone a puppy.” She admitted. “What
about you?” “We used to have a dachshund when I was growing
up,” Lauren shared with her, “but he had to be put down a few
years ago when he was fifteen.” “Why?” Camila asked sadly. “He
was old,” Lauren told her, “He’d stopped eating and was starting
to get really sick, plus his legs weren’t really working very well so
he couldn’t get around much.” “Your family didn’t want to get
another one?” Camila asked. “No,” Lauren confirmed with her.
“Not at the time. I don’t know about whether my parents would
consider it again now though. My dad is really busy with work
which means we’d have to look after it and if I’m honest, it kind of
sucked having to take him for a walk when it was raining.” “Didn’t
you find it relaxing?” Camila asked her. “You know, putting in your
earphones and walking outside in the rain, imagining you were
the lead character in some melodramatic coming of age movie,
some massive internal dilemma occupying your mind…” “I can’t
say I ever did that,” Lauren admitted chuckling and squeezing
 Camila’s hand. “It must have been nice to have a dog though,”
Camila wondered out loud. “To have a loyal friend who is always
there for you when you need them, who doesn’t judge you but
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65379301621/trialsand-
tribulationschapter46 9/11 listens without interrupting. I doubt
you’d ever be lonely with a pet dog,” she mused. “They’d be a
constant source of companionship.” “Maybe you should see if
your parents would let you get a puppy when you’re out of
rehab?” Lauren suggested. “Then you can dress it in your
sunglasses and tell it all your secrets to your adorable little hearts
content.” “My parents would never agree to that,” Camila
scoffed. “Jesus, can you imagine them allowing me to be
responsible for looking after a small puppy? I still can’t tie my
shoelaces properly yet.” “You’re getting better at it though,”
Lauren informed her. “Remember, there was that one time that
you got really close?” “Yeah,” Camila laughed at the memory.
“Shame I somehow ended up tying my shoes together by
mistake.” “At least you formed a solid knot,” Lauren replied
amused as the waiter came over to take their order. Lauren
ordered a plate of hot wings, because, as Camila pointed out, they
couldn’t come to Jimmy’s and not have a rematch of the hot wing
challenge; a pizza for them to share, some fries and some onion
rings. “I’m just going to go and wash my hands,” Camila said,
lifting her appendages up in front of her, aware that the dog
outside had licked them in its excitement at receiving some doting
 attention. “Ok,” Lauren said, “I’ll go when you come back.” She
informed her and Camila smiled as she stood up and made her
way to the restroom. Once inside, Camila approached the basin,
rinsing her hands for a moment before lathering them with soap
and running them under the tap, removing any trace of dog saliva
that might have remained on them. She heard the door to the
restroom open as she was drying her hands and lifted her eyes to
look upon the patron that had just entered, her heart dropping
furiously in her chest as she placed the paper towel in to the bin,
the knuckles of her right hand aching slightly as if in memory of
the last time she’d shared a room with the customer. “Well, well,
well,” the blonde said, a smirk appearing on her face at the sight
of Camila before her. “Look who’s finally out of rehab and allowed
to socialise with the unsuspecting public again.” “Rachel,” Camila
said, her voice betraying her nerves at being in a room with the
other girl. “Hi Camila,” Rachel said, closing the door behind her
and leaning against it threateningly. “I’ve been hoping to run in to
you again.”
Chapter 47
Rachel pushed herself away from the door where she was leaning
and back on to her feet again, walking across the tiled floor
towards Camila, one intimidating step at a time. “When did you
get back in town?” Rachel asked with interest as she stopped in
front of Camila, ignoring all recognised rules regarding
appropriate personal space and squaring herself up against the
 smaller girl, her taller frame towering above her. “I thought your
parents had sent you away to live with the other psychos at
rehab.” “I’m not crazy,” Camila informed Rachel, moving
backwards a few paces in order to distance herself from the other
girl, “and I’m not back. I’m just…visiting.” She finished timidly.
“Oh, you’re not crazy?” Rachel asked, laughing malevolently. “Are
you serious?” she questioned, stepping closer to Camila again so
that she had to step back in order to avoid physical contact with
the blonde. “The last time that I saw you I ended up having
unplanned facial reconstruction.” She reminded Camila, “or have
you completely forgotten that?” “Listen Rachel,” Camila said,
putting both hands up in front of her in an attempt to keep some
space between them. “I’m really sorry about what happened and I
would have apologised to you for what I did sooner but, I haven’t
had the chance because I’ve been away,” She told the other girl
sincerely. “I should never have hit you,” she acknowledged
ashamedly. “It was a mistake and I know that I can’t take it back,
that I can’t change the past between us, but, honestly, I feel so
guilty about it and it’ll probably be something that I regret for the
rest of my life.” “You’ll definitely regret it,” Rachel told her
aggressively, striding forward again and forcing Camila back up
against the restroom wall so that she was trapped. “You broke my
fucking nose,” she apprised her angrily. “Plus you gave me a
fucking orbital fracture. Do you know how painful those are?”
“Well, your face broke my hand if that makes you feel any better
about what happened,” Camila responded, lifting up her right arm
emphatically as she tried to resort to humour in an attempt to
defuse the situation. “I’d rather break your face,” Rachel said
through gritted teeth, her resentment palpable as she leant
forward, pressing Camila further back against the wall. “What is it
they say?” she asked rhetorically. “Oh yeah, an eye for an eye.”
She stated. “It’s kind of fitting, don’t you think?” she questioned
menacingly “After you almost blinded me it would be kind of
poetic to inflict the same punishment on you.” “I’m sorry,” Camila
apologised again, shrinking back in to the wall behind her. “I
didn’t mean to…I…” she hesitated, thinking for a moment, “it was
an accident.” “It was an accident?” Rachel laughed unkindly again.
“You’re a fucking accident,” she told Camila, her tone spiteful.
“You’re not even supposed to fucking be here. You should be
fucking dead by all accounts. You’re a mistake Camila, one big
cosmic fuck up.” She spat maliciously. “Did you ever wonder why
you keep ending up back in the hospital?” Rachel asked her. “It’s
the universes way of trying to erase its fucking error.” “That’s
not…” Camila began but Rachel cut her off, forcing her back
against the wall hard with the palm of her hand as it pushed
solidly against the brunettes’ shoulder.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 2/12 “You can’t cheat death and not expect
it to come back and bite you in the arse,” Rachel ploughed on
thoughtlessly. “Fate had its plan for you Camila and you fucked it
 up, just like you’ve fucked up everything else that you’ve done
with the additional time you’ve somehow been fortunate enough
to be granted.” Rachel moved the hand on Camila’s shoulder up
towards her neck, squeezing the flesh there painfully between her
fingers and making the smaller girl grimace. “I can’t believe that I
ever thought that I had feelings for you,” Rachel practically hissed,
releasing her grip on Camila’s trapezius and reaching her hand up
as though she was going to hit her across the face, stopping it just
short and enjoying Camila’s fear, the brunette wincing in response
to the stimulus. “Who the fuck would ever want to be with you?”
Rachel asked her and Camila suppressed the urge to say, ‘Lauren’.
“You’re fucking pathetic, look at you.” The blonde said
vehemently. “You’re not so fucking tough when you don’t have
the element of surprise on your side are you?” “I don’t want to
fight you,” Camila told Rachel, shrinking back against the wall.
“Please, I’m sorry for what happened but…” “I don’t give a shit
what you want,” Rachel interrupted loudly. “I want you to pay for
what you did to me and I’m not leaving here until you have.”
Camila tried to make a move towards the door and side step
around Rachel in order to get past her, but, the blonde grabbed
hold of her wrist tightly and flung her back against the wall hard.
“You don’t get to fucking leave yet,” she told her angrily. “I didn’t
get to fucking leave when you lost your shit and projected your
own selfloathing on my face.” Camila raised her eyebrow in
response to the comment, herself growing angry at Rachel’s
 inability to accept any responsibility for what happened between
them in the library on that fateful day. “Is that what you think?”
Camila asked, her voice more confident and less timid then
before, buoyed by her annoyance. “That I hit you as a way of
dealing with my own repressed feelings?” she continued, a slight
chuckle escaping her lips. “Why else would you fucking hit me?”
she asked, “Unless you really are a complete fucking psychopath.”
Rachel commented dryly. “I don’t know Rachel,” Camila said
standing up tall. “Maybe it had something to do with the fact that
you stuck your fucking tongue down my throat without my
permission.” She informed her frankly. “Or perhaps it was
because you basically implied that I was a selfobsessed slut who
would date anyone that gave me even the slightest bit of
attention.” She continued, stepping forward and standing her
ground. “It might even have had something to do with the fact
that you lied about what had happened between us to Lauren.
Did you ever consider that?” “Oh please,” Rachel scoffed. “Don’t
pretend that you weren’t flirting with me in the library Camila,”
she went on. “You wanted me to kiss you and when Lauren
walked in you panicked.” “You think that I was flirting with you?”
Camila asked her, laughing at the thought. “Fucking hell, I can’t
flirt to save my life.” “You could have fooled me,” Rachel told her.
“You’re forgetting that I saw you turn it on with Lauren right here
in this very diner. You’re not as innocent as you think Camila.”
“Lauren is different,” Camila replied. “Ilove Lauren, but, I don’t
 love you Rachel. I don’t even like you that much to be honest.
You’ve done nothing but give me a headache ever since I first met
you and trust me,” she said pointedly, pausing for effect. “I can
categorically tell you that I have never even thought about flirting
with you. I can barely stand to be around you for longer than five
minutes.” “Watch your mouth,” Rachel responded furiously. “Are
you forgetting that I saved your fucking life once? Not that I
should have bothered, such as it is,” she finished, looking Camila
up and down meaningfully. “You didn’t save my life,” Camila
disagreed amused by Rachel’s ideology. “You went and got the
school nurse. It was hardly heroic. Lauren’s saved my life, but,
you? No, you’ve not even come close to it.” “Then why did you
thank me afterwards?” Rachel asked her irritated.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 3/12 “I was being nice,” Camila answered
truthfully, “because you did help me Rachel, but, you didn’t save
my life.” She informed her. “You’re more deluded than I am if you
believe that.” “You’re such a fucking bitch,” Rachel expressed.
“People think that you’re so sweet and innocent, but you’re not,”
she divulged. “They all feel sorry for you because you’re
practically handicapped. You literally beat the crap out of me and
you weren’t punished for it because you have a fucking head
injury. What kind of fucking excuse is that? You knew what you
were doing. You should have been fucking expelled for what you
did to me and instead they give you a two week inschool
 suspension…how is that fair?” “You think I had any idea what I
was doing when I hit you?” Camila asked her in disbelief. “I’m not
a violent person…” “That’s not true,” Rachel interceded. “I was
there when you hit Miss Lovato in the face and went off at David
in the cafeteria. You are violent; it’s just that you have a really
great excuse to justify your actions if you need it.” “If you’d even
listened to anything that I’ve said then you’d know that I’m not
trying to excuse what I’ve done,” Camila said shaking her head
incredulously, “I already told you that I’m sorry for what
happened. I accept that I made a mistake, but, the reality is that
have a problem with my frontal lobe from the accident,” Camila
said shaking her head incredulously. “I can’t control my emotions
any more than a petulant kid can sometimes.” “Seriously?” Rachel
asked not buying it. “Do you actually expect me to believe that
shit?” “Ok, let me explain it in a way that you’ll understand,”
Camila told her, sighing in frustration. “I had a solid metal car
collide with my head at over fifty miles an hour and it somehow,”
she said sarcastically, “managed to damage a massive part of my
brain where it caved my skull in.” She explained. “So, my brain
doesn’t work like yours does Rachel; it doesn’t stop me doing
stupid shit like hitting people when I’m stressed or emotional. I
don’t have selfcontrol, I’m impulsive, so, if people attack me, or
threaten me then I’ll react without giving a single moment of
thought to the consequences.” She paused for a moment as
Rachel watched her closely, the blondes face betraying no clue as
 to what she was thinking. “I’m like a dog,” Camila clarified,
regretting the choice of comparison when she saw the smirk on
Rachel’s face in response. “If you tease it, if you hurt it or you
push it around, it’ll bite your fucking hand off.” She said bluntly.
“They’re only tolerant to a point and if you rile it up you better be
prepared to deal with its wrath because once you’ve flipped that
switch all conscious control is gone and it’ll act on impulse alone.”
“You’re so fucking full of it,” Rachel responded when Camila had
finished she was now completely tired of this conversation and
made a move to step around Rachel again. “Where the fuck do
you think you’re going?” Rachel asked her, grabbing hold of
Camila’s upper arm and tugging on it sharply to stop her in her
tracks. “I don’t need to justify myself to you,” Camila told her. “I
apologised for what happened and I’ve accepted responsibility for
my part in it. We have nothing left to say to each other,” she
informed Rachel, making a move to leave the restroom again.
“We’re not fucking done here,” Rachel disagreed angrily, her hand
crushing Camila’s upper arm painfully. “Let me go,” Camila
instructed, her voice low as her left hand tried to pry Rachel’s
fingers from around her bicep. When Rachel didn’t relinquish her
grasp on Camila’s arm, the smaller girl rammed the heel of her
foot violently into Rachel’s toes, eliciting a satisfactory curse from
the other girl’s mouth. “Fuck,” Rachel spat, taking hold of Camila’s
left wrist as she tried to move away from her again. She twisted it
violently in her grasp, her strength far exceeding that of the
 brunette’s damaged arm. “You little bitch,” she sputtered, trying
to regain control of the situation again. “Shit,” Camila cursed,
tears springing to her eyes as Rachel rotated her left arm further,
a sharp pain spreading up her forearm, her whole body contorting
in an attempt to release the strain on her wrist. “Oh,” Rachel said
with a vindictive look on her face at the realisation that she could
exploit one of Camila’s weaknesses in compensation for the debt
she felt the smaller girl
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 4/12 owed her. “That fucking hurts does
it?” she asked, twisting Camila’s wrist further and bending it back
on itself. Camila’s left knee buckled as she tried to compensate for
the awkward position of her arm and a sneer appeared on
Rachel’s face at the sight of her. “Fuck,” Camila cursed, biting
down on her bottom lip hard and drawing blood as she tried to
stifle the painful sob she wanted to release. “How about instead
of an eye for an eye I just break your fucking wrist instead?”
Rachel asked scornfully, applying pressure to the limb again and
causing Camila to cry out in pain. “How about you let her go
before I break your fucking legs?” Lauren cautioned her, having
come to the restroom in search of Camila, concerned that she’d
been absent for so long. “Oh fuck off Lauren,” Rachel replied,
evidently not worried by the threat and increasing the torsion on
Camila’s wrist, the small girl falling to her knees further in pain.
“This is between me and Camila. I’ve got no problem with you
besides your questionable choice of girlfriend.” “I said let her go,”
Lauren told her angrily, shoving the blonde hard in the side and
knocking her off balance. Rachel looked at Lauren with a shocked
expression on her face, like she’d not expected the brunette to
actually touch her, yet alone push her. “What the fuck Lauren?”
Rachel asked; her hand still firmly around Camila’s wrist, her hold
not relaxing. “Are you fucking stupid? I’ll fucking kill you if you
touch me again.” “Fucking. Prove. It.” Lauren challenged, pushing
Rachel forcefully after each word until she completely lost her
footing and had to release Camila’s wrist to steady herself against
the wall to prevent herself from falling over completely. Lauren
crouched down and took hold of Camila’s right hand gently,
helping her girlfriend back on to her feet. Lauren saw Rachel lunge
for Camila out of the corner of her eye, the blonde incensed by
her arrival and the lack of restitution from Camila in return for the
injuries she’d sustained to her face at the smaller girls’ hands.
“Don’t even think about touching her!” Lauren warned furiously
and she reached out her arm and slammed Rachel back against
the wall hard, knocking the wind out of her. “I mean it Rachel,
don’t fucking test me…” She pinned Rachel there for a moment
with her hand but Camila reached for her arm hurriedly, trying to
get her to release the other girl. “Lauren let’s just go,” Camila said
anxiously, worried by the enraged look on her girlfriend’s face,
concerned that she would get in trouble if she did anything to
seriously hurt Rachel. “She’s not worth it. Don’t be stupid,
please?” she pleaded. “Don’t let her come between us again. Look
what happened last time one of us hit her…” she trailed off and
Lauren turned to look at Camila, noting the panicked expression
on her face. She lowered her hand from where it was pressed
hard against Rachel’s chest and rotated round to face Camila,
reaching out to take her right hand in her own so that they could
leave. “Fucking bitch,” Rachel muttered under her breath lurching
forward and trying to knock Camila to the floor despite Lauren’s
warning. Lauren turned on her heels quickly, sensing the attack,
and cut Rachel’s attempt short as she took hold of the blondes
sweater in her hands for a moment, spinning her round and
releasing her after a moment so that she went flying in to the bin
which was in the corner of the room, her body falling to the floor
on top of the metal receptacle with a loud crash. “Fuck,” Rachel
groaned and Lauren walked over towards her, crouching low to
meet her gaze as she tried to compose herself whilst still lying in a
heap amongst the trash. “If you ever touch Camila again,” Lauren
said, her voice low and ominous, “I swear to God that you’ll have
more than just a broken fucking nose Rachel,” she finished,
standing back up and taking Camila’s right hand in her own again.
“What the fuck do you even see in her?” Rachel asked, brushing
trash off her lap with one hand. “She’s fucking pathetic,” Rachel
said trying to provoke Lauren. “She shouldn’t
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 5/12 even fucking be here, she should be
 dead.” She continued. “If she’d just fucking died like she was
supposed to then you’d be with me instead of her, you know that
right?” “You know what’s pathetic Rachel?” Lauren countered,
her voice level as she turned back to face the girl who was
struggling back to her feet. “You are.” She told her simply. “You’re
pathetic and I wouldn’t fucking date you if you were the last living
person on this planet. Camila is worth ten of you and then some.”
She continued. “You’re a poor excuse for a human being.” Lauren
stated. “Despite Camila’s injuries she’s still more compassionate,
more caring and more intelligent than you are or could ever hope
to be. Why don’t you take a fucking look in the mirror and get
some perspective before you go around calling other people
pathetic.” With that, Lauren turned and led Camila to the
restroom door, leaving Rachel to watch them leave, irritation
spreading across her face when Camila turned to look over her
shoulder at the blonde, a small smile on her lips at Lauren’s words
in her defence. “Wait, aren’t we leaving?” Camila asked surprised
when Lauren led her back to their booth, the sodas they’d
ordered sitting on top of the table waiting for them. “No, we’re
not,” Lauren replied, guiding Camila in to the vacant seat and
sliding in beside her. “I promised my girlfriend I’d get her
something to eat and there’s no way in hell that I’m going to let
Rachel Murphy prevent me from fulfilling it. Camila smiled at
Lauren who, sat on her left side, picked up her arm carefully to
examine it. “Are you ok?” Lauren asked concerned, noticing how
 Camila’s wrist was starting to swell up slightly and imagining the
bruise that would likely be there tomorrow. “It’s probably just a
sprain,” Camila answered, wincing slightly beneath Lauren’s
gentle touch, her flesh tender. “You should put some ice on it,”
Lauren suggested, hoping to help reduce the inflammation. “You
should put your lips on it,” Camila countered, a bright red blush
spreading across her cheeks at the realisation of what she’d said.
Lauren grinned brightly at her girlfriend’s embarrassment but
acquiesced, lifting Camila’s left forearm to her lips and placing soft
gentle kisses to the skin there affectionately. Lauren heard a door
close in the direction of the bathroom and both she and Camila
glanced towards the noise, her lips still pressed against the
Camila’s flesh as they watched Rachel leave the diner quickly, not
once stopping to look in their direction, the friend she’d arrived
with looking puzzled for a moment, before hurriedly following
after her. “Thank you for coming to my rescue,” Camila said to
Lauren gratefully, leaning her head against her girlfriend’s
shoulder as Lauren caressed the back of her small hand with her
thumb soothingly. “I really thought she was going to break my
wrist…or worse.” She admitted. “You’re welcome,” Lauren
responded, kissing the top of Camila’s head lightly with her lips. “I
was worried about you.” She told her. “You were gone for a long
time, I thought that maybe you’d had a seizure.” “I think a seizure
might have been preferable to a run in with Rachel,” Camila
responded, making a face. “I don’t know about that,” Lauren
mused, making a face. “I don’t fancy another visit to the intensive
care unit any time soon and at least with Rachel there was no
chance of that happening.” “I wouldn’t say there was no chance
of that happening,” Camila replied thoughtfully. “I mean, if she’d
pushed me over and I’d hit my head against something hard or
landed awkwardly it could have been lights out for me.” “Ok,
don’t say things like that,” Lauren said wrapping her arm around
Camila’s shoulders protectively and pulling the smaller girl in close
to her side. “I’d really rather not think about that having been a
possibility, thank you.” “You’re my hero,” Camila said, cuddling
into Lauren’s side closer and moving her left wrist to press against
the cold glass of soda on the table in front of her, taking her
girlfriends’ earlier advice to try and ice it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 6/12 “You’re mine,” Lauren replied, leaning
her head down on top of Camila’s. “I bet you tried to walk away
and be the bigger person didn’t you?” she asked and Camila
nodded her head in response. “It’s surprisingly hard to do that
though when someone has your wrist in what can only be
described as a death grip,” Camila noted, lifting her left hand and
flexing her fingers experimentally, the joints feeling stiff and sore.
“You could have just hit her you know,” Lauren told her, “you
didn’t have to walk away.” “I know,” Camila answered, lifting her
head as a waiter arrived with their food and placed it on the table
in front of them, “but I’m trying this new thing where I don’t just
 mindlessly react to situations and end up getting shipped off to
rehab,” she explained, lifting a finger to stop Lauren who was
about to say something in reply. “I’m trying not to ignore them
either though.” She continued and Lauren smiled at the
admission. “So I tried to deal with it.” Camila informed her. “It’s
just a shame that Rachel is apparently even more of a psychopath
than I am, go figure.” “Well, I’m proud of you Camz,” Lauren said,
pulling over the plate of hot wings and sliding it between the two
of them. “You’ll be even more proud of me when I kick your arse
in the hot wing challenge,” Camila replied playfully, giving Lauren
a challenging look. “In your dreams Cabello,” Lauren laughed,
dividing the hot wings between them equally. “I’ve been
practicing whilst you’ve been away.” She lied. “There’s no way
you’re going to beat me.” Camila did. “Do you even have taste
buds anymore?” Lauren asked in disbelief as she guzzled down
the remainder of her soda in an attempt to cool her mouth which
felt as though it were on fire from the wings. “How the hell do you
manage to eat so many? I look like I’ve jogged thirty miles on a
hot day I’m sweating so much.” “I don’t know,” Camila answered,
laughing at Lauren who was fanning her face with the menu card.
“Call it talent if you like…” “No,” Lauren interrupted, amused.
“Some people can draw, others can dance, me?” she asked
pausing for a moment. “I can eat large portions of spicy food
when no one else can.” “You’re a dork,” Lauren told her, leaning
over to kiss her on the lips for a moment, content in Camila’s
 presence. “You always call me that,” Camila chuckled. “That’s
because it’s true,” Lauren stated simply, picking up the last slice of
pizza and offering it to Camila. Camila took it gladly and began to
scoff it down, Lauren watching her, one arm resting along the top
of the seat that they shared behind the smaller girls’ shoulders.
“You know,” Camila started coyly, licking her fingers as she
finished off the last slice of pizza and turned her head around to
look at Lauren. “You’re kind of hot when your angry.” She
informed Lauren who smiled in response to the unexpected
compliment. “I am?” Lauren asked, her grin widening at Camila’s
sudden bashfulness. “Yes,” Camila replied, tilting her face slightly
to hover her lips in front of Lauren’s. “You are.” “Hmm…” Lauren
moaned, her eyes getting lost in the dark chocolate orbs of
Camila’s. “Well, in that case maybe we’ll have to hang around
Rachel a lot more when you’re back home.” She said thoughtfully.
“Or maybe we could just hang out in your bedroom?” Camila
suggested. “I’d rather not have to see Rachel unless it really can’t
be avoided.” “You want to hang out in my bedroom?” Lauren
asked her, raising an eyebrow agreeably as she considered the
prospect and Camila nodded in response. “What exactly would
you like to do whilst we’re up there?” Lauren asked her
seductively and Camila leant further into her girlfriends’ side.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 7/12 “Well,” she said, planting a soft kiss
just beneath Lauren’s jaw. “I have a few ideas so perhaps we
 could just work our way through them all.” “Would you care to
give me a hint?” Lauren asked her playfully and Camila twisted in
her seat, pressing her lips against her girlfriends and opening her
mouth willingly when Lauren probed at the entrance with her
tongue. Lauren moaned into Camila’s mouth as the smaller girls’
right hand began fondling her side delicately and Lauren reached
up a hand to gently stroke the side of Camila’s neck. “I’ve really
missed this,” Lauren breathed when they’d separated and Camila
smiled before pecking her on the lips briefly. Camila remained
close to her girlfriends’ face, her thumb gently tracing the soft
contours of Lauren’s mouth. “Me too,” Camila agreed, tilting her
head to kiss Lauren again, enjoying the short moment of contact.
“You’re so beautiful,” Lauren complimented Camila, running a
hand through her girlfriends’ dark locks and looking her up and
down. “I think I actually forgot how beautiful you were.” Lauren
mused. “It’s like, I knew you were beautiful, stunning, gorgeous,”
she flattered, “but, my memory of you was like looking through
dirty glasses, flawed and inaccurate. Now you’re here again it’s as
if I’ve finally cleaned them and the image is crisp and clear.”
“Lauren you’re looking at me as though I’m sat here naked,”
Camila observed, laughing lightly at the way her girlfriend was
staring at her so blatantly. “I wasn’t thinking about you naked,”
Lauren replied, lifting an eyebrow meaningfully. “Good,” Camila
answered chuckling to herself. “I am now though,” Lauren told
her mischievously. “Lauren!” Camila scolded playfully and Lauren
 laughed at her girlfriends’ reaction. “What?” she asked. “You
bought it up! Besides, it’s been six weeks since I’ve seen you
naked, you can’t blame me thinking about it…my memory is all I
have to go off at the moment.” “Well if you’re lucky perhaps I’ll
send you a nude selfie later,” Camila tormented lightly, enjoying
the way Lauren’s jaw dropped in response to her comment.
“What?” Lauren asked her, swallowing hard. “You heard me,”
Camila replied, sitting up slightly, a smirk on her face. “Why wait
until later?” Lauren asked, trying to regain her composure and pay
Camila back for her shameless flirting. “What do you mean?”
Camila queried, confused. “Why don’t you just lift up your shirt
and flash me now instead?” Lauren suggested with a challenging
look on her face. “You don’t think I will?” Camila questioned,
raising her eyebrow rebelliously. “There’s no way you’re going to
flash me in the middle of the diner,” Lauren told her selfassuredly.
“No?” Camila said her tone lifting as she said it. Lauren narrowed
her eyes as if trying to weigh up whether Camila was joking or
not, but her question was soon answered when the smaller girl
reached down and lifted up the hem of her sweater and tshirt,
exposing her smooth, toned stomach and the purple bra she was
wearing. She held it there for a minute and Lauren’s mouth
dropped again at Camila’s boldness, completely surprised.
“Consider that a preview,” Camila said simply, dropping her
clothing down to cover her again and casting a quick glance
around the diner to ensure no one had seen before glancing back
at Lauren who had been stunned in to silence. “You’re drooling,”
Camila laughed. She leant forward and took Lauren’s face in her
hands, kissing her delicately on the lips. “I want dessert,” Camila
told her and Lauren licked her lips, eyeing Camila suggestively.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 8/12 “Me too,” she agreed biting her
bottom lip, the corner of Camila’s mouth turning up into a half-
smile at her words. “No, I mean, I want an ice cream sundae,”
Camila informed her seriously and Lauren leant forward and
kissed her quickly. “Fine,” she conceded. “I’ll buy you an ice
cream.” “You’re such a good girlfriend.” Camila commented and
Lauren smiled, kissing her again. Once they’d finished dessert,
Lauren drove Camila back home, taking the least direct route that
she could find, desperate to prolong their date for as long as
possible. Unfortunately, as always, time passes despite a person’s
desire for it to stand still and Lauren found herself sat in her car
outside Camila’s house with her girlfriend, neither of them
speaking, both knowing that they must face the reality of being
parted once again. “So,” Lauren said as she stared out of the
windscreen at the road in front of her. “Are you going to be here
tomorrow night?” she asked tentatively. “Perhaps I can see you
before you go back to the treatment centre…” “No, my parents
are taking me back straight after the deposition,” Camila shared
with her sadly. “I’ve got to go back for a session with my
therapist,” she explained. “She thinks that I’ll probably need it
after…well…you know.” Lauren looked up to see the nervous glint
in Camila’s eyes, which were focused on her hands in her lap and
she reached over to take Camila’s left one carefully, the bruising
from Rachel’s assault earlier starting to appear on her skin. “Good
luck for tomorrow,” Lauren said sincerely, stroking the back of
Camila’s hand with her thumb reassuringly for a moment before
manipulating her small fingers instinctively out of habit. “It’ll be
fine, you’ll see. It’s just a formality. You don’t have to worry about
anything.” “I’ll call you after school?” Camila asked hesitantly.
“Tell you all about it…” “No, don’t tell me about it, not unless you
want to,” Lauren said comfortingly, squeezing her girlfriend’s
hand in her own. “Just, tell me how you’re doing alright?” she
asked. “That’s what I care about most.” She paused for a moment
to glance back at Camila’s house. “I should walk you to your
door,” she acknowledged grudgingly, climbing out of the car and
walking round to the other side of the vehicle and helping her
girlfriend out. Lauren held Camila’s hand as they made their way
up the path towards the front door and came to a stop on the
porch in front of Camila’s front door. They stood together, Lauren
facing Camila, her hand still wrapped protectively around her
girlfriend’s, neither of them meeting the others gaze, both
reluctant to say goodbye. “I don’t want to go inside,” Camila
spoke up after a few minutes of silence had passed and Lauren
lifted her eyes to look at the smaller girl, her heart already aching
at the thought of letting her go again. “I don’t want you to go
inside either,” Lauren admitted, a sad smile appearing on her lips.
“Ok, so we’ll both just stay here then,” Camila said with a sense of
finality to her voice. “Except that I have school,” Lauren reminded
her, “and it’s getting dark Camz.” Camila waved her free hand
dismissively, as though the dark was nothing to fear. “I’ve lived in
the dark so long it’s practically like bathing in glorious sunlight.”
She said. “School is basically Mount Everest though…no idea how
we’re going to get over that little problem.” “Camz,” Lauren said,
her tone imploring, knowing her girlfriend all too well. “Don’t joke
around because you don’t want to deal with this.” She chastised
kindly. “You’re going to go inside and then you’ll go back to
rehab.” “I’m starting to think that going back isn’t such a good
idea. I mean, they don’t serve pizza in the dining room and the
company isn’t nearly as good as it is here,” Camila informed
Lauren, her tone still light, either ignoring her girlfriends words or
the reflex to resort to humour too strong to control.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 9/12 “You can get pizza delivered,” Lauren
suggested helpfully, “and the company might not be as good but
it’s more helpful to you than I am.” “You’re such a spoil sport,”
Camila protested and Lauren reached up to stroke Camila’s cheek
with the pad of her thumb. “You’ll call me tomorrow,” Lauren
stated simply, “and we can Skype if you want to because I don’t
think I can go a day without seeing you, especially not after six
weeks of being apart.” “I’ll be waiting by my computer,” Camila
 told her and Lauren smiled. “It’s not like we’ll be apart forever is
it?” Lauren asked rhetorically. “I’ll see you on Friday; on
Valentine’s Day.” She said moving her hand to trace the scar
above Camila’s eyebrow with her fingers lightly. “It’s just a couple
of days until then. That’s all. Two days and we’ve just survived
fortyone without any contact.” She reassured her. “You were
right; this will be easy in comparison.” Lauren brushed a strand of
hair out of Camila’s eyes before stroking her brow soothingly.
“You need to go back…” she started. “You wanted me to stay
earlier,” Camila reminisced. “You didn’t want me to leave.” “What
I want is irrelevant,” Lauren told her truthfully. “What’s best for
you is all that matters and you have to go back Camz. You know
that because you were the person that convinced me that it was
the right thing to do.” “I hate you right now,” Camila said
playfully. “You’re supposed to try and persuade me to stay.” “Ok
fine,” Lauren responded, grinning widely at Camila’s attempt at
avoiding the situation. “You can’t go Camz,” she said trying to
sound dejected, but struggling in her amusement. “You have to
stay here with me. I can’t live without you. I’ll literally die if you
leave me again. Who’s going to send me naked selfie’s and flash
me inappropriately in diners if you’re locked up in rehab? I’m like
Tinkerbell…but, instead of needing applause to live, I need your
nudity Camz…I really need it” she finished, only halfjoking, a lot of
her comments based somewhere solidly in both fact and fiction.
“Your Oscar is in the post,” Camila told her entertained, her mood
 brightened slightly. “Seriously though Camz,” Lauren said, taking
both her girlfriend’s hands in her own as they stood facing each
other. “This isn’t goodbye, it’s just…goodnight.” She settled on,
leaning forward to kiss Camila faintly on the lips. “This doesn’t just
feel like goodnight,” Camila commented and Lauren could see the
tears forming in the corner of her girlfriend’s eyes. “It is,” Lauren
reassured her. “I’m coming up to see you on Friday and we’ll
celebrate Valentine’s Day together,” she reiterated, putting a
smile on her face. “It’s just two days…” she repeated leaning her
forehead against Camila’s, one hand coming to rest on the back of
Camila’s neck. “That’s all.” “You’ll put your necklace back on?”
Camila asked, closing her eyes, desperately seeking some physical
sign that things were really resolved between them. “I’m never
going to take it off again,” Lauren promised her, silently praying
that one of the girls had picked it up and kept it safe for her.
Camila moved her head back and reached up to run the fingertips
of both hands across Lauren’s brow before settling them on her
cheeks. “I’m scared,” Camila admitted to her. “I told you,” Lauren
said, placing her hands on Camila’s wrists supportively. “You’ll be
fine tomorrow…” “No,” Camila clarified. “I’m not scared about
tomorrow. I’m scared that we’ll ruin this somehow.” “We might
do yet,” Lauren acknowledged realistically, “but, there’s only one
way to find out isn’t there?” “I love you,” Camila told her
sincerely, kissing her lips again and again until Lauren held
Camila’s hands and moved her head back out of the way to look
at her. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trials-
andtribulationschapter47 10/12 “I know,” Lauren reassured her
and she saw Camila’s smile break, a tear sliding down her cheek in
her desperation to prove herself and her feelings to the taller girl.
“I know you do,” Lauren soothed her. “Just…if you never believe
anything else that I ever say to you, still believe in that.” Camila
pleaded and Lauren kissed her, a deep, meaningful kiss that
expressed everything she wanted to say in the simplest way she
knew how. “You don’t have to tell me,” Lauren informed her,
“because I know Camz.” She repeated, kissing her softly on the
forehead, just over her scar. “Just like you know that I love you.”
She mumbled against Camila’s skin, her arms reaching up to wrap
themselves around the smaller girls’ body and hugging her tightly.
She felt Camila’s hands wrap around her waist, one clenching
around the back of her sweater with a sense of urgency which
seemed out of place. “I’ve got you a really great Valentine’s gift,”
Camila spoke into Lauren’s chest, her voice muffled by the fabric
of her sweater. “Can I eat it?” Lauren asked and Camila shook her
head. “No,” Camila answered. “Do you want to know what it is?”
she asked. “No,” Lauren laughed, kissing the smaller girl on the
top of the head. “No spoilers Camz. Surprise me.” “I need to go
inside,” Camila said, stepping back from Lauren slightly and
meeting her gaze meaningfully. “The longer I stay out here the
less I want to go and it’s getting really hard to see the appeal of
it.” “Then I’ll say goodnight,” Lauren told her helpfully, kissing her
 on the lips tenderly, smiling into it when she felt Camila’s hand
graze her lower back softly. “Goodnight,” Camila sighed when
they parted and Lauren stroked a strand of hair out of her
girlfriend’s eyes. “Night Camz,” Lauren said, taking a step back
and turning to head back towards her car, their hands still
intertwined. Lauren felt resistance from Camila when she tried to
release her hand and before she knew it, she’d been spun around
on the spot, and the smaller girls’ arms were around her neck, her
hips pressed against her own closely as she kissed her deeply, her
tongue roaming her mouth. “Night,” Camila breathed, releasing a
stunned Lauren and turning to open her front door, disappearing
inside without a second glance back. Lauren put her fingers to her
mouth, still in shock, a slight smile creeping on to her lips before
she finally made her way down to her car and climbed in behind
the driver’s seat. She put her seat belt on and started up the
engine, about to leave when she saw her phone, which she’d
flung on to the passenger seat beside her, light up. She reached
over and picked up the device in her hand, opening the message,
a large grin spreading on her face as she read it: “You thought this
was a naked selfie didn’t you? You’re such a pervert. I don’t know
why I even like you.” Lauren glanced up at Camila’s bedroom
window where the light was on and she saw her girlfriend peek
through the blind a smile on her face. She pointed to something in
her hand and Lauren saw the screen of her phone light up again.
“Just kidding, I miss you already. Ilove you…..pervert.” Lauren
 smiled as she read the message and glanced back up at Camila
who had opened her window and was leaning on the frame with
her elbows. She blew Lauren a kiss and the brunette pretended to
catch it before making a heart symbol with her hands. Camila
smiled at the gesture and quickly glanced up and down the street,
standing up tall again. She reached down to the hem of her top
and pulled it up hurriedly, revealing her now bare chest,
apparently having removed her bra. Lauren laughed, admiring the
view. Camila pulled her top back down and stuck out her tongue
at Lauren before turning her attention to her phone again.
Lauren’s screen lit up once more a few seconds later. “Remember
that’s just a preview.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65562806932/trialsand-
tribulationschapter47 11/12 Lauren looked back up at Camila and
thought she saw her girlfriend raise her eyebrow suggestively
before closing the window and waving goodbye, blowing Lauren
one last kiss before she drew the curtains and disappeared.
“Dork,” Lauren text back but she knew as well as Camila, that
what that really meant was “Ilove you too.
Chapter 48
A/N: So this chapter was going to be LONG…therefore, by popular
demand I’ve split it in half so that you get it today instead of
tomorrow. I hope you enjoy it x “So have you spoken to Mila yet
today?” Dinah asked Lauren during lunch on Friday. “Of course
she has,” Normani laughed, taking a sip of her drink and glancing
 towards Lauren who was sat opposite her. “It’s Valentine’s Day; I
bet Lauren called her as soon as she woke up this morning.” “No I
didn’t,” Lauren protested, reaching up to play with the pendant
Camila had gotten her for Christmas which was once again back in
its rightful place around her neck, Dinah having returned it to her
the day after Camila’s unexpected visit. “I waited until after
breakfast,” she informed them with an amused expression on her
face. “She’s been sleeping a lot better now and I didn’t want to
wake her up.” “I’m so glad that the two of you managed to work
things out,” Ally told her sincerely as she reached across the table
and placed a hand on Lauren’s arm. “I can’t help but think that a
lot of what happened was my fault.” “That’s because a lot of it
was your fault,” Dinah acknowledged, chuckling lightheartedly.
Ally hit the taller girl playfully on the arm, all issues of blame
having been put to rest a long time ago, everyone accepting that
although Ally’s methods in addressing her concerns had been
inelegant and unsubtle, her reasoning had been sound, and they
couldn’t blame their friend for ultimately helping Camila to finally
get the help that she needed in order to get better. “Dinah,”
Lauren scolded goodhumouredly, her face contorting into a frown
at the other girls’ words. “What?” Dinah asked innocently, taking
a bite of her sandwich. “You know what,” Lauren answered, a
smile appearing on her lips at the angelic look on Dinah’s face.
“It’s ok Lo,” Ally chortled amused, glancing at Dinah who stuck her
tongue out at her spiritedly. “She’s just grumpy because she
 didn’t get to see Camila whilst she was back in town.” Ally noted.
“Apparently she was busy with more important things.” “Rude,”
Dinah commented, feigning insult, but smiling nonetheless at
Ally’s jibe. “I just think it was rude of her that’s all,” Dinah agreed
with Ally jokingly. “I mean, after everything we’ve been through
together over the last nine months and the little dweeb didn’t
even tell me she was coming back to town. What’s that about?”
she asked raising both her hands up questioningly. “I had to find
out from Normani of all people.” “Hey!” Normani protested. “At
least I told you she was back, otherwise you’d never even have
known.” “That’s true,” Dinah accepted, jabbing her hand in
Normani’s direction, her halfeaten sandwich held in it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 2/11 “She called you after I dropped her
home,” Lauren laughed at Dinah’s criticism of Camila. “It’s not like
she didn’t speak to you…” “I spoke to her that morning,” Dinah
reminded Lauren. “I was on the phone to her and she was here, in
town, at home.” She recalled slightly irritated. “That was the
perfect opportunity for her to say, ‘Hey, you know what Dinah,
I’m actually home right now. Why don’t you come round later and
I can tell you how much I’ve missed you?’” “Oh my God,” Ally
chuckled in realisation. “Are you jealous that she saw Lauren over
you?” she asked and Dinah made a face, taking another bite of
her sandwich, avoiding the question. “What?” Normani chortled.
“You are aren’t you?” “I’m not jealous,” Dinah grumbled. “It’s just
that Mila and I have been friends since before we were even born.
You’d think she’d let me know that she’s finally well enough to be
let out of rehab on day release. I mean, that’s huge right?” she
asked, turning her attention to Lauren. “That means she’s making
progress.” “Don’t take it personally,” Lauren told Dinah
sympathetically. “You know that Camz loves you. It’s just, she
wasn’t sure that she’d even be coming back for the deposition…”
“Yeah I know,” Dinah conceded. “Mila also said that she’d wanted
to surprise you, or, at least, that’s what she told me later.” She
explained, pausing for a moment as she gathered her thoughts.
“She’s just so small and annoying.” Dinah moaned, exhaling
loudly. Lauren smiled at her friend’s displeasure as she continued
to manipulate the necklace Camila had bought her in her
fingertips. “Can you do something about that?” Dinah asked
Lauren and the brunette shook her head in response. “Sorry but I
kind of love her the way that she is,” Lauren told her simply.
“Ugh,” Dinah groaned at Lauren’s sickeningly sweet response. “I
don’t know what’s worse…” she continued thoughtfully. “Your
behaviour now that you’re back together or how you acted when
the two of you weren’t talking.” “What?” Ally asked in disbelief.
“How is that even a question? I much prefer this Lauren over the
one we’ve had to watch moping around for the last six weeks.” “I
second that,” Normani agreed, nodding her head at Ally’s
comment. “I thought you shipped ‘Camren?’” Ally queried,
making air quotation marks with the fingers of both hands as she
 said it. “What happened?” “Nothing happened,” Dinah laughed.
“I’m still Captain of USS Camren,” she said, giving Lauren a
meaningful look and Lauren rolled her eyes flippantly, realising
that Camila had let slip the metaphor to her. “It’s just that, well,
look at her,” Dinah said, gesturing to Lauren who was sat beside
her. “She’s so blissfully happy and it’s verging on irritating.” She
laughed. “No one should be allowed to be that in love.” “You
know,” Lauren returned, leaning her right elbow on the table and
resting the side of her head on it as she looked at Dinah. “You’re a
pretty crap Captain Dinah.” She laughed. “Perhaps I’m going to
have to talk to Sofi about stepping into your shoes.” Lauren
paused for a moment considering something. “Hell, even my
brother seems to ship me and Camz more than you do at the
moment. I guess Camz was right in suggesting he should be our
best man should we ever get married…” Lauren provoked,
enjoying winding Dinah up. “Woah,” Dinah said, holding up one
hand, insulted. “Wait one freaking minute!” She protested. “If
anyone is going to be Mila’s best man it’ll be me.” She informed
Lauren with a sense of finality. “We all know that she’ll have Sofi
as her maid of honour and there’s no way I’m being consigned to
bridesmaid…that’s Normani and Ally’s role.” She finished, glancing
between the other two girls who were sat opposite. “Hang on,”
Normani complained. “Why do you get to be best man and I
don’t?” she asked. “Yeah,” Ally said, joining in with what Lauren
now realised was a ridiculous conversation. “What makes you
 think that I won’t be best man? After all, it was because of me
that the two of you started hanging out with us in the first place.
If I hadn’t of invited Camila to eat with us, she and Lauren might
never have gotten together. So…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 3/11 she said pointedly, turning her
attention to her friend, “if anyone is going to be best man it
should be me.” “Uh, hello?” Normani disagreed, lifting up a hand,
her index finger pointed expressively. “Can we just take a moment
to appreciate that Camila and Lauren first spent the night
together at my house,” she said and both Ally and Dinah snickered
at her argument. “So, Ithink I also have a claim here as well.” “Oh
my God,” Lauren exhaled. “Guys,” she said lifting her head and
looking between her three friends. “Can we just appreciate the
fact that you’re arguing over who is going to be best man at mine
and Camila’s hypothetical wedding?” she asked. “You all sound
ridiculous right now.” She commented seriously. “I mean, we’ve
literally just gotten back on track. I don’t think we should be
thinking about wedding bells just yet, do you?” “You were the one
that bought it up,” Dinah muttered, turning to look at the others.
“Why would she bring it up if she didn’t want us to discuss it?”
she asked them. “I know right?” Ally agreed and Lauren shook her
head, entertained by her friends’ ongoing debate. “I think we’re
all arguing because we know that you two are endgame,”
Normani shared with her. “You might have doubts but, even when
 Camila went in to rehab we all thought that you’d get back
together at some point. You two are literally made for one
another.” She told her. “So, actually I kind of agree with Dinah
when she says that watching you two is a little nauseating
because it sucks knowing that you’ve already found the person
you’ll probably spend the rest of your life with and well, I’m still
searching for mine.” “Yeah, you and Mila are soul mates,” Dinah
told Lauren, who seemed uncertain in comparison to her friends.
“She’s even given you a physical representation of her soul in the
form of her notebook to make it official for God’s sake.” “What?”
Lauren asked, stunned by Dinah’s words. “That’s not what that
means.” “Jesus Christ Lauren,” Normani laughed. “Even I know
that’s what it means. Camila is all about poetic metaphors.” “Are
you serious?” Lauren asked. “She said she gave it to me because
she was scared of dying and it was a way of her achieving some
kind of immortality. She even mentioned Harry Potter.” “Lo,” Ally
chuckled amused. “She’s literally given you a piece of her
soul…like, twice now…” she mused; Lauren informing them all of
the video diaries Camila had given her, but, not their content. “Do
you know how many people openly share their innermost
thoughts or diaries with someone else?” Lauren furrowed her
brow unconvinced. “Ok, let’s look at the facts,” Dinah said, placing
a hand on Lauren’s arm to draw her attention. “What exactly did
she say when she talked to you about the diary?” Lauren thought
back to the conversation she’d had with Camila on the beach on
 New Year’s Day. “It’s just, this notebook, it was the first honest
thing I’d done since the accident. The first thing that I did for
myself…Everything is in there, all my thoughts, every little feeling
that I experienced, was something just for me. They were mine….
Now they’re ours. I wanted them to be ours, something that we
shared, just the two of us…” “You’re giving me a piece of your
soul?” “I’m giving you a hard copy of something that you already
have because I trust you’ll keep it safe and if anything should
happen to me then I know you’ll remember me how I was, that
you’ll understand me, and keep me alive in your thoughts, in your
memory…That way, I could stay here with you forever, I could be
immortal too, and I could make a mark in some way. I don’t know,
it sounds stupid when I say it out loud but it comforted me a little
to know that you had it because I think that you’re the only
person that really truly knows the real me.” “She talked a lot
about how everything she’d written in it was personal to her and
was honest,” Lauren recalled out loud. “Camz said that everything
in it was hers, but, that she wanted it to be ours, something that
only the two of us shared.” She continued. “She told me that she
trusted me to keep it safe because she thought I was the only
person that truly knew who she was, who understood the real
her.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trials-
andtribulationschapter48 4/11 Normani, who had been typing
something in to her phone, handed the device to Lauren who took
it, a confused expression on her face. “Just read these,” Normani
prompted and Lauren turned her attention to the screen, reading
the many definitions of ‘soul mate’ that were present there, her
friend evidently having searched for them online. “Your soul mate
understands and connects with you in every way and on every
level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness
when you are around them.” “The person who makes you feel
over and over again like you have butterflies. They don’t like you,
they love you. They’re not the person you can spend the rest of
your life with, but the person you can’t spend the rest of your life
without.” “A soul mate is the meeting of a mind, heart, body and
soul on the highest of levels with another. Communication is at its
easiest with them, as they understand you perfectly, and accept
you completely with no judgments.” “It’s like a best friend, but
more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than
anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well,
actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that
yourself– because they inspire you. A soul mate is someone who
you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you,
and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or
when no one else would. And no matter what happens…you’ll
always love them.” “Holy shit,” Lauren breathed, realizing that
perhaps the girls’ were right about Camila’s meaning when she’d
given her the diary. “That’s kind of profound.” She commented,
not quite sure what else to say. “See…” Normani said, reaching
across the table and placing a hand on Lauren’s shoulder.
 “Everything definition of a soul mate on that page fits with your
feelings about Camila doesn’t it?” she asked. Lauren looked
between her friends and nodded. “Does every definition also link
to what Camila told you about the diary?” Dinah asked and Lauren
nodded again, dumbstruck. “It’s a good thing that you’ve gotten
her an awesome Valentine’s Day present then isn’t it?” Ally
stated, a smile creeping on to her lips. “Oh God,” Dinah said in
agreement. “If Mila isn’t actually imagining a future with you and
a potential wedding after the present you’re giving her then I will
seriously reconsider my friendship with her.” “Do you think she’ll
like it?” Lauren asked, anxious about the gift which she’d
managed to organize for Camila at such short notice. “Are you
joking?” Ally asked her. “Honestly Lo, if you’d gotten me the same
present I think I would just continuously want to have sex with
you all the time out of gratitude.” “Ally!” Lauren spluttered,
almost choking on the soda she’d just taken a sip from. “I kind of
have to agree with her,” Normani commented and Lauren made a
face that expressed equal disgust and surprise at the remarks.
“Same,” Dinah agreed, nodding her head. “Ok,” Lauren said. “Can
we please change the subject?” “No,” Dinah said in unison with
the others and Lauren rolled her eyes at them all. “It’s just so
sweet,” Ally informed her, smiling at the thought of all the effort
that Lauren had gone to in order to organize the present. “You
have no idea how much Mila is going to love this present,” Dinah
told Lauren. “The fact that her mom and dad agreed to it just
 proves how much they know she’ll like it, otherwise they’d never
have let you talk them in to it.” “I didn’t even have to talk them in
to it,” Lauren acknowledged. “I called them on Wednesday
evening after they’d dropped Camz back to rehab and told her
mom what I wanted to do.” She explained. “She was in a good
mood because Camz had held up so well at the deposition and
agreed to it almost instantly.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 5/11 “She even helped Lo pay for it,” Ally
shared with Normani and Dinah. “She helped me find it too,”
Lauren admitted. “I had no idea where to even start looking,
especially at short notice and I didn’t know what other things I
would need initially.” She divulged. “Sinu helped me out with
everything, so we’ve agreed that it’ll be sort of a joint present
from me, for Valentine’s Day, and partly from them for her
birthday.” “What time are you driving up there?” Normani asked,
opening a bag of chips and starting to eat them. “I’m going to my
house after school to pick up her gift and then I’m driving straight
to the rehabilitation center.” Lauren replied. “Can you please
record her reaction?” Dinah pleaded with Lauren. “I would sell my
first born child to see it.” “I’ll try,” Lauren responded, “but, I’m not
making any promises, alright?” “Alright,” Dinah accepted
reluctantly, “but, if you can’t record it then I at least want a
detailed description of what happened tomorrow.” “Deal,” Lauren
settled, picking up her can of soda and taking a swig conclusively.
 The rest of the lunch period, and the school day, passed very
much like the rest of time had done since Camila had returned to
rehabilitation, unexpectedly quickly. Lauren had been pleasantly
surprised to find that rather than the days dragging and time
slowing to a cruel pace in Camila’s absence, it had elapsed rapidly,
her own excitement and anticipation at seeing her girlfriend
again, of spending Valentine’s Day with her, propelling it forward
at an exceedingly fast rate until the next thing Lauren knew, she
was behind the wheel of her car, Camila’s gift in the passenger
seat beside her as she made the hour drive to the treatment
facility where she was currently an inpatient. Once she’d arrived,
Lauren pulled up in the parking lot and shut off the engine,
collecting the gift she’d bought Camila from the passenger seat
and making her way to the reception area where she signed in
and collected her visitors’ badge. A member of staff, a young man
with dark brown hair and deep hazel eyes, whose name badge
read ‘Josh’, led Lauren to Camila’s room and knocked on the door,
awaiting a response from the occupant. When none came, he
pushed the door open slightly, none of the domestic rooms having
the privilege of locks, and glanced inside. “She’s not here,” he
informed Lauren as he opened the door further for her to see.
“She might be down in the gardens though,” he shared with her
kindly. “She sometimes goes out there to read. I can take you to
her if you’d like?” “I think I could probably find her if you pointed
me in the right direction,” Lauren replied, not wanting to put him
out. “The patio doors are just down the corridor and to the right,”
he told her, pointing in the direction as though he were a member
of cabin crew explaining how to find the emergency exits in the
event of a crash. “She’ll probably be down the bottom of the
garden under one of the tall oak trees there.” “Great,” Lauren said
appreciatively. “Thank you.” “No problem,” He replied smiling and
pointing to the present in Lauren’s arms. “Is that for her?” he
asked. “Yeah,” Lauren answered. “I’m taking it home with me
later, but, her mom called and they said it was alright to bring it
up with me for her to see today.” “I know,” he replied brightly.
“Crystal the manager told me all about it. I hear it’s a surprise?”
he halfasked, halfstated. “It is,” Lauren concurred, a small smile
gracing her lips. “Well,” he said thoughtfully. “Why don’t you
leave it with me?” he suggested. “I can sit out on the patio and
keep an eye on it for you whilst you go and find her. Then, when I
see you coming I’ll head off. You can cover her eyes or something
so she doesn’t see it until the last possible moment.” “You’d do
that?” she asked him. “Sure,” he said, “I know that my wife loves
nice surprises and I think this definitely qualifies as that. I’m happy
to do anything that I can to help.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 6/11 “That’s so nice, thank you.” Lauren
responded, handing him Camila’s present and he smiled as he
took it in his arms. “I guess I’ll see you in a minute then,” he said,
gesturing Lauren out the door and to the right. “See you in a
 minute,” Lauren agreed before turning on her heels and
disappearing out the door, eager to find Camila. The treatment
facility was a modern, white walled, Spanish style building with
vast scenic gardens and a large swimming pool which helped to
promote an atmosphere of calm tranquility for its residents.
Lauren could see the appeal of the place to any prospective
clients or families, the structure and décor seeming more in keep
with a five star hotel than a center for people suffering with
debilitating mental health and personality disorders. Lauren made
her way out of the building and in to the gardens; her feet sinking
in to the soft grass beneath her as she walked down a slight
gradient towards a mass of large oaks in the near distance. When
she reached the trees that bordered the property, Lauren walked
along them carefully, her eyes roaming at their bases for a
glimpse of her girlfriend’s small form. Eventually, her green eyes
feel on Camila, who was sat, her back against the solid trunk of a
tall oak tree and her legs stretched out in front of her, long sitting.
Her chin was resting against her chest, the book that she’d likely
been reading; ‘Of Mice and Men’, now face down in her lap, her
small fingers still grasping it unconsciously as she slept. Lauren’s
mouth curved up in to a smile as she took in Camila’s sleeping
form, watching the slow rise and fall of her girlfriend’s chest
contentedly. Lauren reached in to her back pocket and pulled out
her phone to take a quick picture, keen to preserve the content
image of Camila indefinitely, on both film and in her memory.
After putting her phone back where she’d originally taken it from,
Lauren walked over to where Camila lay and crouched down
beside her girlfriend, one hand reaching out to gently caress
Camila’s brow, her fingertips lightly grazing the smaller girls’
temple and then cheek. Camila moved her head slightly in
response, but didn’t open her eyes, evidently still sleeping and
Lauren smiled again at the sight, her hand moving to stroke the
bridge of Camila’s nose in an attempt to wake her up without the
need to shake her violently. Camila lifted her free hand up to her
face, swatting at Lauren’s hand sleepily, her eyes still closed as
she tried to rid the unknown cause of irritation. Lauren felt her
hand swell at the sight of Camila, who looked very much relaxed
in her current setting and loathed the thought of waking her up.
However, Lauren had a curfew and so she persevered with her
attempts, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss to Camila’s
forehead, just above her left eye where the familiar scar
remained. This time, as Lauren moved her head back to observe
her girlfriend, she saw Camila’s eyes open slowly, the lids
fluttering with the strain for a moment before finally her pupils
fixed on the taller girls’ as she hovered beside her. “Hi,” Lauren
greeted, stroking Camila’s brow again delicately and causing her
eyelids to flutter closed briefly. “Hi,” Camila reciprocated as she
tried to push herself in to a more comfortable and upright
position, her back remaining firmly fixed against the solid wood of
the tree. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, the
 book she’d been holding on her lap, now released and sliding
across her stomach on to the soft earth beside her. “Attractive,”
Lauren teased, as Camila glanced at her hand and observed the
saliva there drowsily. “You’re not so bad yourself,” Camila replied
without missing a beat and Lauren smiled at her, her expression
saying more than any words could have. “I knew you liked me,”
Lauren commented, sliding one leg over Camila’s so that she was
straddling the smaller girls’ thighs. “You’re alright I suppose,”
Camila joked, her voice hoarse and raspy as her vocal chords got
used to working again. Lauren settled on to her knees, her weight
pressed in to Camila’s flesh as her girlfriend closed her eyes
momentarily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 7/11 “Is this a bad time?” Lauren asked
playfully. “I could come another day?” she suggested, feigning
getting back up and pushing herself on to her heels using her
hands. One on Camila’s hands quickly found its way up to the
small of her back and pulled her back down on to her knees. “No
stay,” Camila said her tone serious. “Ok,” Lauren agreed, one
hand reaching down to find Camila’s free on and entwining their
fingers together. “Are you having a good day?” she asked Camila
and the smaller girl raised her eyes to meet Lauren’s. “I am now,”
she answered truthfully and Lauren’s grin widened at the
compliment. “Happy Valentine’s Day Camz,” Lauren said, leaning
forward and planting a soft, chaste kiss against Camila’s lips.
 “Ilove you.” “Happy Valentine’s Day Laur,” Camila said, the old
nickname rolling of her tongue easily as she slid the hand on
Lauren’s back up under her girlfriend’s shirt and started tracing
small circles against the skin there with her fingertips. “I love you
too,” she finished, stretching her neck to connect their lips again.
“I have something for you,” Lauren told her excitedly and Camila
raised an eyebrow in response, evidently confused. “I thought
we’d agreed that you were my present?” Camila questioned,
Lauren’s eyes glinting with excitement. “Well, I bought you
something better,” Lauren told her enthusiastically. “That’s not
possible,” Camila responded her hand sneaking around to caress
Lauren’s toned stomach muscles. “You’re so cute when you’ve
just woken up,” Lauren informed her, kissing Camila’s forehead
lightly again. “It makes me want to sit down there with you and
cuddle.” “What’s stopping you?” Camila asked and Lauren could
not think of one single reason why she shouldn’t. “I guess nothing
is,” Lauren answered in realization, sliding off Camila slightly to sit
beside the smaller girl, her own back resting against the oak tree
as she wrapped her arm around Camila’s shoulders and pulled her
in to her side. Camila reached an arm across Lauren’s chest as she
buried her face in to her girlfriends’ shoulder and Lauren started
to play with the fingers of the hand she held with her own
reflexively. “I’ve really missed you the last couple of days,” Lauren
told Camila truthfully. “Me too,” Camila agreed. “The times
passed quicker than I thought it would have though,” she
 commented. “I guess you were right when you said it’d be easier
this time.” She paused for a moment to kiss the back of Camila’s
hand. “I’m glad that you called me after the deposition,” Lauren
admitted, “and yesterday,” she continued. “I think speaking to
you makes the days seem shorter somehow.” “Itold you that I
would call you,” Camila reminded her. “I know, but, I wasn’t
sure,” she shared honestly. “I guess I still feel like you coming back
to me was all just a dream that I haven’t woken up from yet, that I
need to keep pinching myself to check that I’ve not fallen in to a
coma or something.” “If either of us is in a coma, it’s me,” Camila
supplied, the fingers of the arm resting across Lauren’s chest
playing with the pendant around her girlfriend’s neck gladly. “You
put your necklace back on.” She noted, twisting the metal in her
grip carefully. “It suits you.” “You suit me,” Lauren replied
reflexively and she made a face at the how it sounded, finally
getting some glimpse in to what Dinah and the others had to
endure. “Besides, I promised I would, didn’t I?” “I thought maybe
you’d lost it,” Camila said, lifting her eyes to meet Lauren’s
meaningfully, an amused expression on her face. “I’m going to kill
Dinah,” Lauren groaned, knowing that the other girl had told
Camila that she’d left it at school without concern for its fate.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 8/11 “It’s ok,” Camila reassured her,
releasing the necklace and moving her fingertips to brush at one
of Lauren’s collar bones lightly above her shirt. “It’s back where it
 belongs now, that’s all that matters.” “So…” Lauren started
tentatively. “Are you still alright with everyone that happened at
the deposition?” she asked, not wanting to upset her girlfriend
but keen to know whether she was truly as together about
everything as she had seemed to be on the phone. “Yeah,” Camila
replied meeting Lauren’s inquisitive gaze. “I mean, it was hard
but, I talked about it with my therapist and you afterwards,” she
shared. “I don’t know, it’s all just kind of anticlimactic I guess,” she
explained. “I’d built the driver up to be this monster in my head
that I hated but, he’s just a man, the same as any other,” she said.
“There’s nothing special about him, not one thing that would
make me give him a second glance if I passed him in the street.
He’s just, he’s so innocuous looking and ordinary,” Camila told
her. “He’s not a monster at all, and I don’t hate him,” Camila
continued sighing thankfully at her own admission. “I actually sort
of feel sorry for him. He’s going to go to jail because of me.” “He’s
going to jail because of his actions,” Lauren reminded Camila.
“Not yours.” “Still,” Camila said, her thumb tracing Lauren’s jaw.
“Neither of our lives will ever be the same again because of the
very substantial impact we’ve had on one another.” “You’re in a
reflective mood today,” Lauren noted, sensing Camila’s tone and
observing the wistful expression on her face. “Is that bad?” Camila
asked her uncertainly and Lauren shook her head in the negative.
“No,” she replied. “I think it’s really good Camz,” she informed
her. “I think you seem really good today.” “I feel happy today,”
 Camila opened up. “I feel like a weight has been lifted off my
shoulders now the deposition is over and I’ve finally put a face to
my demon. It kind of gives me hope that sometime soon this will
all be over and I’ll be able to wake up in the morning and be truly
thankful to be alive. I want to wake up and be excited about the
prospect of another day, to be filled with the excitement of the
endless possibilities a new dawn possesses…” “You and your
words,” Lauren smiled, kissing Camila on the forehead. “What
about them?” Camila asked. “I could listen to them all day,”
Lauren informed her and Camila grinned, burying her face in the
crook of Lauren’s neck. Lauren hesitated for a moment, wanting
to address the subject that had come up at lunch regarding
Camila’s diary, but, uncertain how to start the conversation. “Can
I ask you something?” Lauren settled on after a few minutes of
internal debate. “Of course,” Camila answered. “The girls
mentioned something interesting today,” she started. “They said
that we were soul mates and that you giving me your diary was
some kind of metaphor for that.” Camila didn’t say anything and
Lauren was starting to wonder whether she’d even heard what
she’d said when the smaller girl sat up to meet her eyes, a serious
expression on her face. “You know,” she said, her dark eyes
burning in to Lauren’s green ones. “Folklore claims that when a
soul descends to earth it splits in to two halves and that each
inhabits a separate body. Each half of the soul is actively seeking
the other, searching for the missing piece which will make them
 whole again, that will complete them, make them feel as one.”
She explained, pausing for a moment. “It is said that in they would
know no greater joy than that they get from being together.”
“What does that mean?” Lauren asked her. “Are you saying that
they’re right?” “I’m saying that you give me a peace that I’ve
never had before Lauren,” Camila told her. “Even before the
accident I can’t remember feeling as happy as I have been since I
met you and that’s saying something considering that I’ve got
severe depression.” “Camz?” Lauren said sitting up slightly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 9/11 “I know it’s a lot,” Camila told her
hurriedly, “and I don’t expect you to feel the same way. It’s just,
you came crashing in to my life at a time when I really needed
someone to be there for me and I didn’t feel lost any more, I
didn’t feel alone, I felt like I’d finally found something that I didn’t
know I’d been missing.” She expressed openly. “I didn’t feel
broken any more,” she continued. “I felt whole again, like the
things I couldn’t do didn’t matter because we could do them
together.” “You think we’re soul mates?” she asked Camila. “I
think that for some reason or another we were meant to meet in
the hallway on the first day of school,” Camila shared with her.
“We were meant to be in each other’s lives…” “You’re avoiding
the question,” Lauren said knowingly, a small smile on her lips.
“I’m feeling a little vulnerable right now,” Camila admitted and
Lauren leant forward and kissed her on the lips, softly at first but
 soon she deepened it, her tongue probing at Camila’s mouth as
she sucked on the smaller girl’s bottom lip. “You gave me your
diary, your ‘soul’ because you believe we are soul mates,” Lauren
stated breathily, rather than asked, after they’d parted. “I was just
too stupid to realize the metaphor in it wasn’t I?” Camila dropped
her gaze to the floor avoiding Lauren’s eyes. “Why didn’t you tell
me?” Lauren asked her. “I was scared that you didn’t feel the
same,” Camila finally voiced out loud. “So Ileft out the soul mates
angle when I explained my reasoning for giving you the diary….”
“Only you didn’t,” Lauren interceded. “It was in there, just, veiled
in your beautiful words once again.” “It sounds stupid,” Camila
voiced. “I mean, we’re still so young….” “Camz,” Lauren said,
squeezing her girlfriends’ hand reassuringly. “It’s not stupid,” she
stated simply; confidently. “We’re not too young.” She brushed a
strand of hair out of Camila’s eyes. “You’re definitely not the only
one here that feels that way.” She finished quietly. “I’m not?”
Camila asked her. “No,” Lauren confirmed, kissing Camila on the
lips, the two of them finding solace in contact with one another. “I
realized today that I feel exactly the same way and that I always
have done, I’ve just been a little slow on the uptake, that’s all. I
mean, I knew that I loved you. I knew it the minute that I saw you
but, soul mates? I hadn’t labeled it that until today.” “It’s kind of a
nice day to label it though,” Camila noted. “Actually, it’s the
perfect day,” Lauren smiled, sitting herself up and clambering to
her feet and pulling Camila up beside her with the conjoined
 hands, the smaller girl barely having time to retrieve her book
before she was heaved from the floor. “Where are we going?”
Camila asked. “I want to give you your present,” Lauren told her
and Camila frowned. “I thought I already told you…” she began
but Lauren kissed her quickly to silence her protests. “You did,”
Lauren admitted, “but, like I said, I’ve bought you something
better.” She reached down and pulled off her sweater quickly,
folding it over and making a move to cover Camila’s eyes, using it
as a blind fold. “What are you doing?” Camila asked stepping
back. “I’m blindfolding you,” Lauren told her simply. “It’s a
surprise so you can’t see it until I’m ready.” “Lauren how the hell
am I supposed to walk back up the incline on an unsteady surface
without ending up on my arse?” she asked seriously. “I’ll help
you,” Lauren replied, holding out the blindfold again and Camila
allowed her to put it over her eyes and secure it firmly in place.
“How many fingers am I holding
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65745570304/trialsand-
tribulationschapter48 10/11 up?” Lauren asked, holding up two
fingers when it was in situ, testing Camila’s ability to see. “Four?”
she asked uncertainly and Lauren smiled, convinced. “Ok, I’m
going to help you back up to the building alright?” she asked and
Camila nodded as Lauren guided her carefully back up the grassy
ascent towards the treatment facility. Lauren watched as Josh
stood from where he’d been sat with Camila’s gift to disappear
inside and out of view, a smile appearing on his lips at the sight of
the two girls. “Right,” Lauren said, placing her hands on the back
of the blindfold and untying the fastening there. “We’re here.”
She said, dropping the blindfold lower so that Camila could look
upon her gift. “Happy Valentine’s Day Camz.” “Ugh, Lauren,”
Camila started, her speech catching in her throat as she looked at
what her girlfriend had gotten her. “I….” she trailed off, lost for
words. “What do you think?” Lauren asked anxiously and Camila
pointed towards her present with a confused expression on her
face. “I think that’s a puppy,” Camila said not quite grasping the
reality of the situation as she studied the small chocolate brown
Springer Spaniel puppy sat on the patio in front of her, it’s dark
brown eyes watching her closely as a sleepy yawn escaped it’s
lips.
Chapter 49
A/N: Meh, here you go guys….I hope you like it. On a side note,
I’ve had some interesting asks about TaT. What do people think?
Does Lauren get enough attention as a character? I personally
thought we got a lot of insight in to her feelings but maybe I’ll
wrong. Anyway, let me know x “Camz, that’s because it is a
puppy.” Lauren returned, chuckling lightly to herself and placing a
hand on Camila’s upper arm, smiling at her affectionately. “Yeah,
but, who’s puppy is it?” Camila asked, her eyes turning towards
Lauren and away from the small canine where they’d been fixed.
“Is it like, a relatives’ of yours or something?” she queried
seriously, apparently not understanding that it was in fact now
 hers. “I mean, it’s so cute,” Camila voiced, turning her attention
back to the tiny animal that was sat on its hind legs watching her,
its leash hooked loosely beneath the leg of a patio chair in order
to stop it from escaping. Camila crouched down in front of the
animal, patting it on the head tenderly, a small smile appearing on
her lips as it started to lick the back of her hand. “I can’t believe
that you’d borrow it for the day for me.” She finished and Lauren
quirked her head, finally realising Camila’s misunderstanding.
“Ugh no,” Lauren said, crouching down beside the smaller girl and
lifting up the dog’s name tag so that Camila could see it, the word
‘Jasper’ clearly printed on the small shiny gold disc where it hung
from the collar around his neck. “I didn’t borrow him Camz,”
Lauren informed her, watching as Camila mouthed the word on
the tag, a look of comprehension crossing her features. “He’s
yours.” “Wh…wait, what?!” Camila replied, turning to look at her
girlfriend in complete shock. “You bought me a puppy? Are you
crazy?” she asked, glancing back down at the petite dog again, her
features softening almost instantly upon seeing it. She shook her
head for a moment, trying not to let herself get distracted by the
small creature. “You can’t buy me a puppy,” Camila told her,
trying to be practical about the situation, no matter how adorable
Jasper was, or how much she wanted to keep him. “They won’t let
me keep him here and my parents can’t look after him…” “Camz,”
Lauren said, laughing at her girlfriend’s response. “Trust me, it’s
all taken care of I promise.” “Lauren, it’s such a nice gesture,
 really it is and he’s so cute. I mean, look at him,” she prompted,
turning her attention back to Jasper, her smile widening as her
eyes fell across the small brown bundle who was lowering himself
onto the patio, resting his head on his paws tiredly. “I mean, he’s
so cute, like, he’s adorable and I really, really love that you would
do something like this for me but, I can’t keep him, not when I’m
still in rehab. Plus, it’s too much,” Camila shared with her. “Dogs
aren’t cheap Lauren, how could you even afford him?” “Ok,”
Lauren said, placing a hand on the side of Camila’s neck to quiet
her. “Perhaps I went about this the wrong way,” she recognised.
“I probably should have explained a few things before I just went
in to the big reveal.” She acknowledged and Camila watched her
expectantly as Lauren lowered herself on to the patio and crossed
her legs beneath her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 2/13 Camila mirrored Lauren’s position, her
hand gently stroking the small dog beside her subconsciously as
she waited for her girlfriend’s explanation. “So,” she began,
reaching for Camila’s other hand with her own and holding it in
her grasp, her thumb tracing small circles on the back of it as she
spoke. “As you know, you kind of just unexpectedly reappeared
back in my life again after six weeks apart and I hadn’t given any
thought to what I’d get you for Valentine’s day because, well, if
I’m being truthful, I didn’t even know whether I could still think of
you as my girlfriend until a few days ago, yet alone whether we’d
 be exchanging gifts.” She enlightened Camila. “Then we kind of
resolved everything between us and I wanted to get you
something meaningful, something that I knew you wanted and
would love as much as I love you,” she divulged. “I couldn’t think
of anything,” she admitted. “My mind was drawing a complete
blank and then the day of the deposition, I was sitting at lunch
and I remembered how happy you’d been when we’d seen the
dog outside Jimmy’s,” she continued. “I thought about the
conversation we’d had, how you said that you’d always wanted
one and that your parents had agreed that you could perhaps
have one when you were older…” “Did you think I was hinting?”
Camila interceded, evidently distressed by the thought. “I wasn’t,
I promise! God, please tell me you didn’t buy me him because…”
“Hey,” Lauren said, one hand reaching up to cup the side of
Camila’s cheek and stopping her midsentence. “I didn’t think you
were hinting at all.” She reassured her girlfriend. “It’s just that you
looked so happy when you were outside coddling it and I thought
that maybe it’d be good for you to have something to take care of
and look after for a change.” She revealed. “I thought that it’d be
a nice role reversal for you, because I know how much you hate
feeling like everyone is always having to look out for you, how you
sometimes feel useless and inadequate, even though you’re not.”
She added pointedly. “Plus,” she continued, “It’ll be nice for you
too, you know, to have some company when you’re feeling low or
alone, to have something that loves you unconditionally and that
 you feel comfortable talking to if I’m not around. Dogs are really
good listeners.” Lauren noted. “They know when you need
cheering up too,” she went on. “They’re really intuitive like that.
Also” she said, holding up one finger enthusiastically. “I read
somewhere that some dogs can predict seizures,” she informed
Camila. “So who knows, perhaps Jasper will be able to warn you if
you’re about to have one in future.” Camila looked at the small
puppy in front of her, its dark chocolate eyes closing tiredly as it
fell asleep in response to her rhythmic strokes, her fingertips
brushing it’s side lightly. “I spoke to your mom about getting you
him and she agreed to it,” Lauren reassured her, sensing Camila’s
hesitation and reaching a hand down to pet Jasper gently on the
head. “She even helped me pick him out and pay for him.” She
told Camila. “So, the deal is that he’s partly a gift from me for
Valentine’s and your birthday, because, well, I love you Camz,”
she declared easily. “I mean, you already know that, but, he’s also
from your parents for your birthday too.” She clarified. “Really?”
Camila asked smiling brightly, finally beginning to accept the truth
behind Lauren’s words, to hope. “He’s really mine? This isn’t a
trick or something?” “No of course it’s not a trick,” Lauren
laughed, grinning broadly at Camila’s uncertainty, her inability to
believe that she was actually getting something that she really
wanted. “He’s most definitely yours Camz…well…and mine I
suppose, at least for a little bit…just until you’re out of rehab
anyway.” “You’re going to look after him?” Camila questioned
 happily. “That’s part of the deal,” Lauren told her. “I have to look
after him until you’re home.” “Your parents are alright with that?”
she asked Lauren who nodded in the affirmative. “I don’t know if
you’re aware of this but our parents are virtually inseparable
nowadays Camz,” Lauren disclosed. “My mom was more than
happy to have a puppy around the house again,” she admitted.
“Just as long as I feed him, walk him and look after him,” Lauren
informed Camila, laughing at the recollection of her mom’s voice
as she’d said those exact words to her. “You hear that Jasper,”
Camila said, picking up the small dog in her hands and placing him
in her lap as she stroked him affectionately, her voice taking on
the same babying tone that she’d used with the beagle outside
Jimmy’s diner a few days ago. “You’re going to go and stay with
your other mommy for a while,” she cooed, kissing him gently on
the muzzle and then the top of his head, her hand stroking behind
his ear. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trials-
andtribulationschapter49 3/13 “Camz,” Lauren laughed, enjoying
the content look on her girlfriend’s face as she lifted her eyes to
meet the green of her own. “He’s your dog, not mine. Don’t give
him ideas…” “No,” Camila answered, dropping her gaze to the
puppy in her lap again and scrunching up her nose in that
adorable way that she somehow managed to adopt
subconsciously, the sight of it making Lauren’s heart swell in her
chest. “He’s our dog, aren’t you Jasper?” Camila asked him, lifting
his small form up in her arms and hugging him to her chest as she
kissed the top of his head again. “Yes,” she said, her voice squeaky
as she feigned Jaspers response, gently nodding Jaspers head with
her hands in answer to her previous question. “Dork,” Lauren
commented amused, but grateful that Camila was happy. “Did
you hear that Jasper?” Camila asked, kissing the side of his face
and closing her eyes for a moment happily. “Mommy loves
me…that’s how she says it now.” “You’re such a dork,” Lauren
chuckled lightly again and Camila shuffled closer to her girlfriend
so that they were side by side, placing Jasper between them so
that he was sat across both of their laps. Lauren reached down to
stroke under the small puppies chin soothingly, her eyes fixed on
Camila’s who was staring at her silently. “Thank you,” Camila said,
the corner of her mouth turning up in to a crooked smile. “This is
the best present anyone has ever gotten me.” “It is?” Lauren
asked and Camila nodded her head. “It is,” she answered smiling
as she leant her head closer to Lauren’s and kissed her tenderly
on the lips in gratitude, one hand releasing Jasper to reach up and
caress the side of Lauren’s face delicately. “In fact,” Camila said,
pulling back a little, her hand still resting against the soft flesh of
Lauren’s cheek. “It kind of makes my gift pale in comparison,”
Camila admitted, making a face. “I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is
you’ve gotten me,” Lauren assured her, planting a soft kiss just
above Camila’s left eye, her lips hovering over the scar there out
of habit. “Well, we’ll see,” Camila responded doubtfully, tickling
Jasper’s chin for a moment before making a move to stand up,
 picking the puppy up carefully in her hands as she did so and
cuddling him close. She held Jasper securely in one hand and
reached the other down for Lauren to take; hauling her girlfriend
on to her feet and entwining their fingers together reflexively
once she was standing. “Where are we going?” Lauren asked; a
smile on her lips as Camila leant her small form against her side.
“To my room,” Camila replied simply, a mischievous glint in her
eyes. “Oh,” Lauren responded, lifting an eyebrow in response. “I
see….” “Your present is there,” she told Lauren, turning her head
to look up at her girlfriend who was watching her closely,
evidently trying to decipher whether there was a hidden meaning
to her words or not. “I thought you were going to show me
around?” Lauren asked her, changing the subject slightly,
remembering the complete absence of a lock on Camila’s
bedroom door and not wanting to risk being alone with her there
for fear of someone walking in. “You want the grand tour?”
Camila asked slightly surprised at the rebuff. “Yeah,” Lauren
replied, squeezing Camila’s hand firmly. “Is that alright? I’d really
like to get an idea of your life here,” she continued. “To
understand how you spend your days without me.” “You don’t
need a tour for that,” Camila commented dryly. “When I’m not
with you I spend my days thinking about you. It’s that simple.”
“You’re smooth,” Lauren noted, kissing the side of Camila’s cheek
at her girlfriend’s charm. “Fine, don’t believe me,” Camila said
feigning offence and pouting slightly at Lauren’s words, Jasper
 wriggling in her arms a little. “It’s true though.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 4/13 Lauren stretched forward and kissed
Camila on the lips, desperate to remove the lovable pout from her
face. “I believe you,” Lauren told her sincerely. “I’d still like a tour
though.” “Ok,” Camila finally approved of Lauren’s request. “I’ll
just end it with my room then,” she resolved. “Deal,” Lauren
agreed, silently hoping that by the time the tour was finished it
would be nearing her curfew, or Camila’s meal time, or something
equally as unyielding. It wasn’t that Lauren didn’t want to be with
Camila, because, honestly, after the way they’d left things when
they’d last seen each other, Lauren was more than eager to be
with her girlfriend again intimately. It was the absolute lack of
privacy, and, more specifically, a locked door between her and the
thirty plus members of staff that concerned Lauren. Camila
proceeded to show Lauren around the treatment facility, quickly
brushing over the gardens and the outside area before they left it,
discussing the fact that they had an amazing pool, which, by all
accounts, she’d never used once in the time she’d been here.
“You don’t like swimming?” Lauren asked Camila amazed. “I
thought that you would have considering how much you like the
beach.” “No, I love swimming,” Camila told her truthfully. “I
just…I’m selfconscious about wearing a bathing suit, that’s all.”
“Ahh,” Lauren replied, eyeing her girlfriend closely. “I know what
you’re going to say,” Camila responded, tugging gently on
Lauren’s arm and leading her back through the patio doors and in
to the building, Jasper falling asleep in the crook of Camila’s other
arm. “You’re going to tell me that I shouldn’t be and then list a lot
of reasons you think I’m beautiful.” “Well then,” Lauren returned,
amused. “I don’t need to say it, do I?” “There’s also the fact that I
haven’t been swimming since the accident,” Camila continued, a
little more hesitantly. “There’s a very high probability that I’ll
drown what with my coordination being as it is.” “You don’t know
until you try it,” Lauren offered and Camila gave her a pointed
look. “There’s a chance that I’ll drown and you want me to try it,”
Camila joked and Lauren laughed as they continued down the
centres long hallway together. “I’m not suggesting you jump in
the deep end,” Lauren said, entertained. “Scope out the shallow
end first and practice some doggy paddle.” She recommended.
“I’m sure Jasper will show you how it’s done,” Lauren
commented, reaching across to stroke the small dog’s head
gently. “Won’t you Jasper, huh?” she asked him and Jasper
opened his eyes at the question as though he was actually
listening. “I’ll think about it,” Camila said, turning left at the next
available chance and leading Lauren in to a large dining area
which resembled the restaurant of a hotel, a long buffet counter
running along one side. There were scattered tables decked with
peach cloths, bright white napkins and glistening silver cutlery.
“This is the dining hall,” Camila told Lauren, nodding her head in a
gesture of show. “The food is pretty good actually, much nicer
 than the old cafeteria food at school.” “That’s not really an
accomplishment,” Lauren joked, laughing and Camila smiled too,
realising the truth of her girlfriends’ words. “True,” she agreed,
turning around again and leading Lauren back in to the hallway.
“Thursday is the best day for food though because they have pizza
and fries.” She shared with Lauren. “Tuesdays are alright as well,”
she added reflectively. “They normally have Tacos for dinner,
which Ilike, but, they’re kind of a pain to eat, especially with my
hand eye coordination. I normally end up wearing half the filling.”
“Nothing new there then,” Lauren responded playfully and Camila
nudged her with her elbow, unable to hit her, both hands
otherwise occupied. “Rude,” she commented as she led Lauren in
to another room, which, scarily resembled every other typical
classroom at their school. “You have to go to school here?”
Lauren asked surprised at the revelation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 5/13 “Yeah of course,” Camila laughed.
“There are a lot of teenagers here for one reason or another,” she
informed her. “We all come here every day around our therapy
sessions to keep up with our school work. It’s like being home-
schooled I suppose. Just, it’s not.” “So in theory you should be
able to come back to school and join classes as though you’d
never left?” Lauren asked hopefully. “In theory,” Camila answered
with a wistful look in her eyes. “You’re not going to though are
you?” Lauren asked, sensing Camila wasn’t telling her everything.
 “I don’t know yet,” Camila replied honestly. “I mean, I’d love to
come back to school and hang around with you and the others,
it’s just…” she trailed off uncertainly, glancing down at the
sleeping puppy in her grasp. “It’s just what Camz?” Lauren asked
her, squeezing Camila’s hand supportively and encouraging her to
go on. “It’s just that I’m doing so much better here,” Camila
shared openly. “The smaller class helps limit the amount of
distractions so I’m able to concentrate better. Plus, I get more
help from my tutor without the need for extra sessions.” She
continued to explain. “I don’t know Lauren,” Camila sighed
unsure. “I’m starting to think that perhaps I rushed back to school
and should have listened to my parents when they suggested that
I attend virtual school for my junior year.” “You should do what’s
best for you Camz,” Lauren told her understandingly, but
admittedly a little upset at the prospect of not getting to share
classes with Camila again. “Perhaps you’re right to finish this
school year at home and then who knows maybe you could come
back again for senior year.” “I know it’s probably the right
decision but, I want to come back to school and be with you too,”
Camila shared, evidently torn. “I mean, it won’t be the same if I’m
not at school. We’ll have less time to be together.” “We’ll see
each other all the time,” Lauren reassured her. “It’ll still be more
than we see each other now so it can’t be that bad right?” she
asked. “Maybe,” Camila replied unconvinced. “Just, try not to
think about it now,” Lauren suggested. “You don’t have to make
any decisions today. You can, I don’t know, cross that bridge when
you come to it.” “You’re amazing,” Camila told her, leaning over
and kissing Lauren on the lips happily. “Isn’t she Jasper?” she
asked the puppy, who remained firmly asleep against Camila’s
chest. “You’re so amazing that Jasper passed out,” Camila joked
and Lauren laughed in response as the smaller girl tugged on her
arm gently and led her back out into the hallway once again. “I
think he’s sleeping Camz,” Lauren replied amused as they stepped
across to the room opposite, Camila pulling Lauren inside in to
what appeared to be a large living room scattered with numerous
sofas and beanbags, a large screen TV at the far end. “That’s
exactly what he wants you to think,” Camila replied, glancing
around the strangely empty living rom. “This is the lounge,” she
told Lauren simply. “I can see that.” Lauren chuckled. “I don’t
really hang out here too much,” Camila admitted. “I normally
head into the garden to read or I’ll be in my room listening to
music and…well, reading.” “That honestly doesn’t surprise me
Camz,” Lauren told her and Camila turned around to head back
out in to the hallway again. “There are only a couple of places left
to see really,” Camila said, standing in the open space and
glancing up and down the length of it debating something
internally. “There’s the group therapy room up here,” she said
pointing their entwined hands in its direction, “which has nothing
really in it except a bunch of chairs and then there’s the other
therapy offices up here,” she said pointing up towards the other
end of the hallway. “Just imagine a typical movie therapist’s office
and you’ll get the idea,” she recommended. “I’d take you up there
but people are probably having sessions so you won’t be able to
see them anyway.” “Then I guess that just leaves the grand
finale,” Lauren said nervously, biting on her bottom lip a little in
her anxiousness.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 6/13 “Right,” Camila said, tugging lightly on
Lauren’s arm and leading her back in the direction they’d just
come towards her room. Camila released Lauren’s hand in order
to open the door and gestured her inside, closing it firmly behind
her. “So, this is my room,” Camila said bending down to place
Jasper on the bed where he soon curled up and continued
sleeping. “It’s not exactly the biggest or the grandest room I’ve
ever been in but its home,” she said, “at least, it has been.” She
commented. “It’s funny,” Lauren said, looking around the room
and studying it closely, “but I think this feels more like your room
then well, your room, you know, back home.” She noted. “You
think?” Camila asked as Lauren approached the wall where Camila
had put up the pictures she’d seen in the first video diary entry
she’d watched. “Yeah,” Lauren confirmed. “It’s like…this is you.”
She said, gesturing to the room as she went on to explain her
thoughts further. “You’ve got pictures of Dinah and your family on
the walls,” she told her smiling. “Then there’s the pile of books on
your desk, the notebooks and pens,” she shared, brushing her
 fingertips over them lightly. “You have your music and laptop,”
she said, pointing to the floor by the bed where her headphones
and silver laptop lay. “Finally you have your guitar…” Lauren
observed, trailing off, slightly surprised to see it there. “Why is
your guitar here?” she asked confused. “Have you been
practicing?” she questioned and Camila smiled playfully. “Yes,”
she said, reaching for Lauren’s arms and pulling her over to sit on
the edge of the bed beside Jasper who was starting to stir slightly.
Camila picked him up and placed him in Lauren’s lap, her
girlfriend holding on to him carefully to stop him sliding off her
thighs. “Actually that’s my Valentine’s present for you,” she
informed Lauren before hastily adding. “I mean, there’s no shops
here or anything and I’ve not been allowed out to get you
anything so, like I said, it kind of pales in comparison to yours but I
hope you’ll like it anyway…I…it…you know, it seems sort of lame
now actually, perhaps I could get you something better the next
time I’m….” “Camz,” Lauren said, interrupting her girlfriends
rambling, a broad, amused grin on her face. “Me and Jasper
would love to hear you play us a song. Wouldn’t we Jasper?” she
asked the pooch in her lap, lifting him up onto his hind legs for a
moment and helping him to wave a paw at Camila. “I made you a
card too,” Camila said looking embarrassed at her mediocre
offering especially after Lauren had gone to so much effort to buy
her something that was not only thoughtful but expensive.
“I…here,” she said, turning around to pick it up off the desk and
 handing it to Lauren who opened it, Jasper sliding across her lap
and on to the bed beside her for a moment. “Happy Valentine’s
Day,” Camila said again. “Ilove it,” Lauren told her honestly,
glancing at the card in her hands. On the front, in Camila’s now
familiar shaky writing was ‘Happy Valentine’s Day,’ largely printed
in bubble writing and coloured in with red pen, small cartoon
hearts littering the cover around it. Inside, Camila had scrawled a
long message across the two pages. “Dear Lauren, I know that we
haven’t spoken for a while and that’s my fault. I’m sorry. I don’t
know what else to say except that. I hope that this card finds you
on Valentine’s day and that you won’t just throw it in the bin
when you’ve finished reading it…or even before then…anyway,
even if we haven’t spoken in weeks, if we haven’t seen each
other, or breathed the same air, I wanted to wish you a happy
Valentine’s day. Ilove you Lauren. That’s all there is to it really and
Ithought that you should know that’s how Ifeel even if I’ve been
horrible at showing you it’s true recently. I think it’s nice to know
that someone out there loves you, even if you don’t feel the same
anymore and I do, I really do Lauren. You’re the one bright thing
in my otherwise dark mind sometimes and when I feel like I’m
losing control of everything around me, or I can’t go on anymore,
you are the anchor that holds me here, whether we’re together or
not. You are the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for or hope
to have…you were the best girlfriend…you are so special Lauren
and I sometimes wonder whether you even realise that. You’re
 kind, compassionate, loyal, smart, funny, beautiful; and a million
other positive adjectives that would take me too long to list.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 7/13 You deserved to be loved Lauren. You
should be loved the way that you love, thoughtfully and without
compromise. I love you Lauren but I’m not thoughtful, I’m clumsy
and awkward. I’ve battered your heart recklessly over the time
that we’ve been together, bruising it ever so slowly until it burst.
The sad thing is that I didn’t even realise that I was doing it,
because I wasn’t hurting you directly Lauren, I was hurting myself
and I didn’t understand how that affected you until later, until I
talked about it here…you’ve always been there for me, always,
and I haven’t been there for you, not the way that you needed me
to be, or the way that you deserved. I don’t know what the future
holds for us Lauren. I dropped my crystal ball (you know how
clumsy I can be) and it shattered, kind of poetic don’t you think
because I’m sure that your heart must feel very much like it at the
moment and I’m sorry for that. I pray that one day you’ll forgive
because I think if you love someone you can pretty much forgive
anything. At least, Ilike to believe that’s true, because Ilove you
and Ithink I’d forgive you all your sins if it meant we were
together. I’m rambling again aren’t I? Anyway, you taught me how
to love Lauren and that is a gift that I will treasure more than
anything else in my life. I miss you, and, if you miss me too, please
call me. I’d love to hear from you, but, I’m too scared to call you
 myself. I’m a coward that way. I’ve got a package I’m thinking of
sending you but, I haven’t built up the courage to do that
yet…ugh, sorry, rambling…again… Happy Valentine’s Day Lauren.
Ilove you and Ithink I always will. Camila” “Camz,” Lauren said,
tears evident in her eyes. “Why do you keep doing this to me?”
“I’m sorry,” Camila apologised, not quite sure what she had done.
“I know it’s stupid…” “No,” Lauren said, “It’s not stupid. You
always say that when you’re unsure of yourself but you’re wrong,
this is amazing.” She told her holding up the card. “You’re words
are beautiful and honest.” She noted. “You took the time to make
me this and you put effort into creating it. That makes this better
than any other card you could have bought me because it’s
unique and original.” She reassured her. “This is from you, from
your heart and that makes it perfect, not lame.” Camila’s mouth
formed a small smile and Lauren placed the card down on the bed
beside her, reaching down to pick up Jasper and sit him back on
her lap pointedly, facing him in Camila’s direction. “So, no more
uncertainty and no more selfdoubt Camz,” Lauren said
meaningfully. “You promised me and Jasper a song for Valentine’s
day and we want to hear it.” “Ok,” Camila answered, her tone still
hesitant, but she stepped over to where her guitar leant against
the wall by the end of her bed and picked it up, making her way
back to the middle of the room to stand before Lauren. “Just,
don’t listen if I make any mistakes.” “You won’t,” Lauren said
confidently, knowing Camila would never have thought to play
 her a song if she didn’t feel like she could do it well, especially if
she thought it was for a meaningful occasion such as today.
Camila held the guitar in her arms, tuning it carefully for a
moment before taking a deep breath and strumming the first few
notes of the song. Lauren’s lips curved up in to a smile in
recognition and she saw Camila visibly relax as she noticed the
expression on her face. “All I know, this morning when I woke, is I
know something now, know something now, I didn’t before. And
all I’ve seen, since eighteen hours ago, is green eyes and freckles
in your smile, in the back of my mind making me feel right. Ijust
wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
Ijust wanna know you better, know you better, know you better
now Ijust wanna know you better, know you better, know you
better now Ijust wanna know you, know you, know you ‘Cause all
I know is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is
you held the door And you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours All I know
since yesterday is everything has changed
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 8/13 And all my walls stood tall, painted
blue, and I’ll take them, take them down and open up the door for
you. And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind,
making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel right. Ijust
wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
Ijust wanna know you better, know you better, know you better
 now Ijust wanna know you better, know you better, know you
better now Ijust wanna know you, know you, know you 'Cause all
I know is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is
you held the door And you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours All I know
since yesterday is everything has changed Come back and tell me
why I’m feeling like I’ve missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh. And
meet me there tonight And let me know that it’s not all in my
mind. Ijust wanna know you better, know you better, know you
better now Ijust wanna know you, know you, know you All I know
is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like coming home All I
know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you
held the door You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours All I know since
yesterday is everything has changed All I know is we said, “Hello.”
So dust off your highest hopes All I know is pouring rain and
everything has changed All I know is a new found grace All my
days I’ll know your face All I know since yesterday is everything
has changed” When Camila had finished, Lauren just looked at
her, a tear trailing down her cheek at the sound of the song,
which reminded her of her girlfriend whenever she heard it and
summed up her feelings for her perfectly from the moment she’d
first laid eyes on her in the school hallway. Camila’s voice was
beautiful too and Lauren had forgotten what it sounded like when
the smaller girl sang, when Camila’s raspy tone was allowed to
flow over the words freely and unencumbered. Camila was so
 emotive when she sang and Lauren could physically see the
sincerity in her musical words, almost as though Camila had
written them about Lauren herself and was just sharing them with
her now. “Camz, you played ‘Everything Has Changed?’” Lauren
asked still in shock. “I thought it was fitting,” Camila replied,
placing her guitar on the floor at her feet. “I mean, it’s our song
isn’t it?” she asked tentatively. “At least, if anyone asked me what
our song was, that’s the one that I’d tell them.” “That’s the best
present you could have gotten me,” Lauren stated decisively,
knowing the words to be true. “I can’t think of anything that I
would have wanted more than that.” “You know, when you first
played it for me, I didn’t really consider the lyrics,” Camila shared
with her seriously. “I mean, I didn’t know then that you liked me,
although, you sure know how to drop a confession on someone
almost instantly afterwards.” She noted, laughing lightly as Lauren
wiped at her eyes, recalling the memory herself and laughing as
well. “Then, when I knew and we started dating it became my
favourite song because it was true and I connected to the lyrics
and the sentiment,” she told Lauren, sitting down on the bed
beside her and placing a hand on her girlfriends’ knee. “It
reminded me of you, because despite how much time we spent
together, Ijust wanted to know you even more than I already did,
more intimately, more deeply, more profoundly.” She continued.
“All I saw were your green eyes when I closed my eyes and
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter49 9/13 your smile…and the butterflies that I
felt when I started to realise how much I cared for you were like
nothing else I’ve ever felt before. They were nervous and excited
all the same time.” She admitted, brushing the back of Lauren’s
hand softly with her thumb and reaching to stroke Jasper who’d
fallen asleep on Lauren’s lap with her other one. “I had giant walls
Lauren. They were massive, but, you broke them down and I let
you because I trusted you. I let you in, you didn’t force your way
like my therapist did or my parents tried to do. Ilet you in
willingly.” Lauren smiled brightly at Camila’s words, wondering if
her girlfriend realised the effect that her honesty, her language
had on her. “I love you Lauren,” Camila declared, reaching up a
hand to caress the side of Lauren’s cheek. “I love you too Camz,”
Lauren reciprocated and Camila leant forward and kissed her
firmly, deepening the kiss almost instantly, the hand that hand
been stroking Jasper, roaming up to play with the waistband of
her girlfriends’ jeans. “Camz,” Lauren breathed anxiously as
Camila lifted up Jasper and placed him carefully on the floor atop
one of her hoodies which had been hanging over the back of her
desk chair moments before. “We can’t do this here,” Lauren said
as Camila walked back over to the bed and pushed the taller girl
down on top of it, herself climbing on top of her, pressing their
lips together hungrily, her hands wandering Lauren’s body and
setting it on fire wherever they made contact. “Why not?” Camila
asked seriously, releasing Lauren’s lips and instead beginning to
trail kisses down her girlfriends’ neck towards the top of her shirt.
“Your door doesn’t lock,” Lauren panted as she felt Camila’s hand
push up under her top and start making small delicate circles
against her abs, the muscles growing taut in response to her
touch. “I know,” Camila admitted, sucking on a spot at the base of
Lauren’s neck. “None of the doors here lock, it’s in case someone
tries to kill themselves.” She muttered against Lauren’s skin,
kissing it lightly. “Camz,” Lauren protested at the thought.
“Perhaps we should put something in front of the door?” she
suggested, not wanting Camila to stop but not wanting to get
kicked out and banned from returning either. “No,” Camila
disagreed, one hand undoing the button of Lauren’s jeans as the
other groped her side, her mouth now sucking on the bottom of
Lauren’s ear lobe pleasingly. “They’ll break the fucking door
down, trust me. That’s not the first door I’ve had since I’ve been
here.” “I kind of love it when you swear,” Lauren commented
honestly, reaching up to kiss Camila’s mouth again for a moment.
“We could put something on it,” Lauren offered breathily, trying
her hardest to resist Camila’s further advances, concerned about
getting caught out, knowing that residents were likely to be
checked on regularly here for their safety. “Like a do not disturb
sign or something,” she panted as Camila moved the hand on her
stomach up higher to grasp her breast firmly. Camila lifted her
head to look at Lauren a mischievous grin on her face. “That’s like
hanging up a neon sign saying that I’m doing something I
shouldn’t be,” Camila told her, “or doing someone I shouldn’t be.”
She added after a beat, her eyebrow rising playfully. “Shit,”
Lauren cursed as Camila’s hand moved down the front of her
trousers between the denim material and soft fabric of her
underwear. “Camz,” Lauren said, opening her eyes for a moment,
her attention falling on Jasper who was now awake and sat up, his
head crooked to one side on the floor beside the bed. “Jasper is
watching,” she told Camila and the smaller girl stopped for a
moment to turn her head and look at the puppy. “He needs to
learn,” she brushed off, beginning to trail soft kisses back along
Lauren’s neck once more. “He’s a puppy,” Lauren told Camila, her
breath catching in her throat as Camila pushed up her tshirt and
began to kiss her stomach delicately. “He won’t be a puppy
forever,” Camila noted and Lauren reached up her hands to push
Camila away from her slightly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 10/13 “Camz, just, take a breath a minute,”
Lauren said, her head dizzy, Camila making her feel more
intoxicated than any drug or alcoholic beverage could. “Jasper
won’t tell anyone,” Camila reassured her. “Will you Jasper?” she
asked and the small dog barked in response to Camila’s words
causing her to laugh. “Shit, I guess he will.” She noted,
withdrawing her hand from Lauren’s trousers and rolling off the
bed and on to the floor. “You little snitch,” she said, mussing his
fur playfully. Lauren breathed a sigh of relief, doing up her
 trousers quickly and joining her girlfriend on the floor beside the
puppy. “He’s a good boy,” Lauren praised him. “Aren’t you?” she
asked turning her attention to Camila. “He’s got more sense than
you Camz,” she laughed, “Jesus, do you think they’d ever let me
back in here if they walked in to find us having sex?” “You’re just
so attractive though,” Camila protested, biting her bottom lip for
effect. “You can’t blame me for that. If you’d just stop doing that
thing with your face we wouldn’t have a problem.” “What thing
with my face?” Lauren asked. “You know? That thing?” she
answered. “Where it’s all attractive and smouldering… just, you
have to stop it.” She paused for a moment. “In fact, just, stop
being so incredible.” She added as an afterthought. “It makes me
want to touch you inappropriately and it’s been six weeks Lauren,
six weeks!” she emphasised. “A girl has needs you know.” “Ok,”
Lauren laughed at Camila’s behaviour. “Geez, calm down Camz,”
she chuckled. “I know it’s been six weeks because believe it or not
I have suffered them too.” “Ugh, no,” Camila disagreed, picking up
Jasper and placing him on her lap as she stroked him softly. “I
distinctly remember flashing you the other day.” She reminded
her. “Partial nudity beats no nudity every time.” “Are you asking
me to flash you?” Lauren laughed amused. “I wasn’t asking,”
Camila replied lightly, scratching Jaspers ear with her fingers, a
soft chuckle escaping her lips. “I might now though.” “Are you
mad at me for not wanting to do this here?” Lauren asked her
hesitantly. “No,” Camila answered honestly. “I just…I miss that.”
 She said awkwardly. “Is that weird? I mean, does it make me
some kind of weird sexcrazed pervert?” “Yes,” Lauren replied
teasingly and Camila frowned. “No, it doesn’t Camz,” she finally
reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Trust me, I really
really want to, you know…” she informed her, leaving the
insinuation hanging between them, “but, now isn’t the right
place.” “Ugh, why are you always right?” Camila asked and Lauren
kissed her on the lips to stop her pouting. “We’ve got plenty of
time for all that,” Lauren told her. “You’re so annoying,” Camila
groaned. “I mean, at least admit it was kind of exciting thinking
that someone could walk in any moment,” she probed. “The word
I’d use is terrifying,” Lauren laughed. “Well, can we at least
cuddle?” Camila asked and Lauren nodded her head, smiling.
“They can’t complain too much at that right?” “I think that would
be alright with me,” Lauren agreed and Camila practically jumped
up, Jasper in her arms as she descended on to the bed, lying on
her side, her back against the wall. Lauren got up off the floor too
and lay down facing her, Jasper on top of the duvet between
them, chewing gently on Camila’s jumper as the taller girl reached
up and traced a line down the bridge of Camila’s nose lightly.
“You’re cute,” Lauren noted as Camila scrunched it up in response
to her touch. “You know that right?” she asked, rolling on to her
back and threading an arm beneath Camila’s shoulders, pulling
the other girl in to her closely so that Camila’s head was resting
against her chest and Jasper had to climb up on to Lauren’s
 stomach.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/65939679627/trialsand-
tribulationschapter49 11/13 “You’re cute too,” Camila returned,
reaching her free hand to stroke Jasper, the other one settling
against Lauren’s jaw and caressing it tenderly. Jasper barked, a
soft high pitched yelp which Camila laughed at, turning her face
down to look at the puppy on Lauren’s stomach. “You’re cute too
Jasper,” Lauren admitted and Camila smiled back up at her
girlfriend. “We’d be one adorable family,” Camila joked and
Lauren grazed her fingertips along Camila’s upper arm soothingly
before she leant over and kissed her girlfriend on the lips, her
mouth lingering there for a moment. Lauren deepened the kiss
further, gently sucking on Camila’s tongue, their mouths moving
against one another rhythmically, in perfect time. “Lauren?”
Camila said, her chest heaving as she caught her breath, her eyes
boring in to her girlfriends’. “Yeah Camz,” Lauren answered,
brushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. “You still owe me
some nudity,” Camila informed Lauren, her face deadly serious.
Lauren laughed, her stomach rising up and down quickly, her head
shaking from side to side and Camila’s words. “I guess I do,”
Lauren conceded and she sat up slightly, placing Jasper on top of
Camila’s hip whilst she reached up under the back of her shirt and
unclasped her bra, manoeuvring herself out of it under her
clothing quickly. “Here,” she said, handing the bra to Camila for a
moment before reaching down and pulling up her top obligingly.
 “Satisfied?” Lauren asked as Camila stared at her naked chest,
admiring the view. “For now,” Camila answered smiling as Lauren
rolled her top back down again and settled on the bed beside her.
“Consider that a preview,” Lauren commented, speaking Camila’s
own words from before back to her. “I love you,” Camila told her,
picking up Jasper and putting him on Lauren’s stomach again, the
small dog, wandering up her body to snuggle near her arm pit, by
Camila’s head. “I love you too Camz,” Lauren reciprocated again,
stroking her brow tenderly for a moment before kissing her once
more. “Yes,” Lauren thought to herself, “I definitely love you.” She
stroked Jasper, content with her little make shift family and
smiled to herself, looking back at Camila, her girlfriend, her other
half, her soul mate.
Chapter 50 (part 1)
A/N: Ok, so basically I’ve had a lot of family stuff going on this
week and work has been ridiculous so my apologies that this has
taken so long to get to you all. The thing is that for some reason
my chapters are growing exponentially in length and this one is
over 30 pages already so I’ve decided to split it so you have
something to read until I can finish it, lol. Sorry if it’s a bit boring
but it’s because it’s not a complete chapter in itself x Over the
next four weeks Camila and Lauren fell in to an easy routine
where they finally settled back into one another’s lives, the
physical distance between them seemingly nonexistent, the time
passing quickly and without too much difficulty. Lauren’s initial
 concerns about Camila returning to rehab and leaving her behind
again were quickly quashed and the worries that she’d had about
feeling miserable without her girlfriend around soon dissipated, as
though into thin air. If possible, Lauren and Camila spoke more
often and more intimately now that they were no longer around
each other all the time, the absence of the respective other girl
only making their hearts grow fonder for one another, exactly as
the old saying went. Lauren found that with Camila away they
now had more to talk about and discuss. Their conversation which
had previously always been easy was now effortless and they
never found themselves at a loss for something else to say; the
dialogue they shared without pause for even one breath. Lauren
and Camila would talk about everything and anything that came
to mind during their long and detailed interactions; Lauren filling
Camila in on all the gossip she’d missed at school and the smaller
girl discussing her therapy sessions and day fully, in return. Lauren
and Camila were constantly in contact as the days turned in to
weeks and they would text each other frequently throughout the
day, shamelessly flirting with one another via SMS message,
Camila even following through on her promise to send Lauren a
seminaked selfie, the image of her girlfriend standing, bare-
chested, now burnt permanently into her memory and saved to
her phone, where she could admire it whenever she wished. Once
the school days had finished, Lauren and Camila would have a
regularly scheduled Skype conversation which normally lasted
 from the time Lauren got home until she went to sleep, and
sometimes, continuing even afterwards. On more than one
occasion, Lauren had woken up the next morning to find the
window still open on her laptop as it rested on the pillow beside
her head, Jasper curled up on the duvet next to it whilst the
recognisable form of Camila sleeping could be seen on the screen,
her face hidden beneath a tangled mess of thick dark hair, the
smaller girl having also fallen asleep as they’d spoken. When
Camila and Lauren weren’t interacting via technology, they were
spending time together face to face; Camila returning home
almost every weekend following Valentine’s day and Lauren
taking the rest of the girls to see her every Wednesday after
school for the return of their customary girl’s night, which
included the usual food, movies and fun. The only new addition to
their Wednesday evening’s was Jasper, who, the manager at the
rehabilitation centre had kindly allowed Lauren to bring with her
whenever she visited, much to the delight of Camila, who Lauren
thought, remained just as adorable as ever during her dealings
with him. Camila’s seventeenth birthday had been and gone, the
day itself a relatively quiet affair when it arrived, the youngster
away at rehab having already received her gift from both Lauren
and her parents in the form of Jasper, almost a month in advance.
Camila’s
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 2/10 parents had taken her out for a
 low key dinner the night of her birthday, Lauren and Dinah
accompanying them, however, two days prior to her birthday, on
Saturday the first of March, Camila had returned home from
rehabilitation for the weekend and been surprised to find that her
parents were also hosting a barbecue in her honour, the rest of
the girls and their families all present to celebrate it with her.
Camila’s mom and dad had been particularly emotional that day,
both hardly able to believe that their daughter had survived the
nine months since the accident in order to age another year, their
happiness at her continued recovery, both physically and
emotionally, overwhelming them both at multiple times
throughout the informal party. Now on a Thursday, a month later,
it was once again approaching the weekend and Lauren lay with
her stomach pressed into the duvet of her bed, her homework
spread out before her, a pen in hand as she made some notes on
a pad slightly to her right. Jasper lounged lazily across the back of
her legs as she wrote and Lauren could feel the slow rise and fall
of his chest as well as the sleepy twitching of his limbs against her
as he dreamt. Lauren was trying to get to grips with the pancreas’
role in insulin production for her biology class the following
Monday when she saw a Skype window popup on the open laptop
to her left, accompanied by the now familiar musical dial tone of
the programme. Lauren smiled to herself as she moved her
homework aside for a moment and reached across eagerly to pull
the laptop in front of her. She connected the call from Camila
 hurriedly, the smaller girl appearing on the screen almost
instantly as she did so, her feet hovering above her head in the
picture as she lay prone on her bed, facing the camera. “Hi,”
Camila greeted enthusiastically, blowing Lauren a kiss, her hand
gesturing it towards the screen briefly before it fell in to an easy
wave. “Hi Camz,” Lauren replied, pretending to catch the kiss and
blowing one of her own back to her girlfriend in return. “You’re a
little late today,” she noted, glancing at the clock in the right hand
corner of her computer screen. “Is everything alright?” she asked
worriedly, Camila never once having been late for a prearranged
Skype call before. “I even started some of my homework whilst I
waited for you.” She added, picking up her notepad and holding it
in front of the screen for her to see. “I’m sorry,” Camila
apologised, a broad grin on her face. “I was at therapy and the
session over run a little.” “Why?” Lauren asked interestedly.
“What happened? Are you ok?” “Yes,” Camila answered, the
colossal smile still plastered across her face. “I’m most definitely
ok.” she responded. “In fact, this was probably the best session
that I’ve had since I’ve been here,” she divulged, a mischievous
glint in her eyes. “I’m really glad Camz,” Lauren told her sincerely.
“I always like it when you’ve had a good session. I know that a
couple of the ones that you had last week really got to you.”
“Yeah, but that was last week,” Camila responded brightly,
brushing a strand of hair which had been obstructing her view out
of her eyes. “This is a new week, a better week.” “Ok,” Lauren
 laughed amused, sensing Camila wasn’t telling her everything.
“What’s going on with you?” “I’m excited because I’m coming
home tomorrow,” Camila disclosed excitedly, pumping her fists in
front of her. “I know that Camz,” Lauren answered entertained.
“You come home every Friday…” “No,” Camila interjected
pointedly. “I’m coming home Lauren,” she said again, her tone
meaningful. “Permanently.” She added when Lauren didn’t seem
to grasp what she was saying. “Wait,” Lauren said, realisation
dawning on her. “You mean, for good?” she asked, a hopeful
smile turning up one corner of her mouth. “For good,” Camila
confirmed and Lauren’s face broke out in to a smile which
matched the smaller girls on the screen in front of her. “Are you
serious?” Lauren asked propping herself up a little on her elbows,
trying to contain her elation. “When did this happen?” she
questioned, her voice rising merrily. “Just now,” Camila informed
her. “My therapist has said that I’ve been doing really well and
that I have all the strategies that I need in order to deal with
things now so,” she
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 3/10 said, pausing for a moment, “she
said I should be able to manage with just a couple of sessions of
therapy a week and I can have them back home with my usual
therapist instead of her.” She revealed gladly. “She said I don’t
have to stay here any longer…” “So that’s it?” Lauren asked
delighted, not waiting for Camila to finish, her anticipation getting
 the better of her. “Well, I have to come back in a month’s time to
have a followup appointment but, assuming everything is still
going alright then, yes, that’s it Lauren. It’s over.” She replied. “Oh
my God,” Lauren said, struggling to stay still on the bed, the
impulse to jump up and kick the air in celebration almost too
strong to suppress. “Babe,” she said affectionately, “That’s
amazing!” “I know right?” Camila asked beaming from ear to ear.
“I was actually starting to worry that this day would never come
and that I’d be stuck in here forever.” “You’re not though,” Lauren
reminded her. “You’ll be home tomorrow,” she said happily, “back
here with me and Jasper…” she said, remembering the small
puppy and becoming acutely aware of his presence on the back of
her legs again. “Hey,” she almost whispered to him, turning
around and picking the small dog up carefully, Jasper opening his
eyes tiredly and yawning as she did so. “Jasper, look who it is,”
she prompted, placing him in front of the laptop on the bed. “It’s
mama,” she said pointing to the screen. “Look Jasper, see…who’s
that?” she asked as Jasper started to wander across the mattress
and back towards the head of the bed. “Hey Camz, call him.” She
encouraged and Camila did as she was instructed. “Jasper,”
Camila summoned tenderly. “Hey, Jasper,” she said, “come here
boy.” Lauren turned around to look at the puppy that had
stopped in his tracks, his head cocked to one side, recognising his
owner’s voice but confused as to her whereabouts. “He’s
listening,” Lauren shared with Camila gladly. “Call him again,” she
 said and Camila obeyed once more, the small dog’s tail wagging
enthusiastically at the sound of her voice as he bound across the
bed back to Lauren, thinking that it had been her calling him. “I
think he likes you more than me,” Camila commented, laughing a
little, a subtle hint of jealously in her voice. “No he doesn’t,”
Lauren reassured her, “he literally won’t stop pining for you when
leave him on a Sunday night.” She told her honestly. “He just
thinks I called him that’s all, don’t you Jasper?” she asked,
scratching behind his ear. “Call him again now he’s here.” She
suggested. Camila did as she was bid and Jasper glanced up at
Lauren for a moment with his head cocked, before turning around
in search of the voice again, obviously realising that, in fact, it
wasn’t her that had been responsible for saying it. Finally, Jasper
saw Camila on the screen and started clambering across the
keyboard towards her, his tail wagging energetically as Camila
waved at him. “Hey little guy,” Camila said, her tone babyish, as
though she were addressing a child. “I’ll see you tomorrow
alright?” “See,” Lauren pointed out. “He knows your voice Camz,”
she assured her. “He looks bigger,” Camila commented laughing
cheerfully. “Has he grown?” she asked. “No, he just…he…” she
started, pausing as she struggled to get him away from the screen.
“He just looks bigger because he’s close to the camera.” Lauren
said, picking Jasper up in her hands and lifting him with her as she
moved to rest her back against the head of the bed, bringing the
laptop along as well so that it rested on her knees. She lowered
 Jasper on to her lap facing the camera and stroked him until he
settled. “See, he’s still the same size as when you saw him
yesterday,” she told Camila, Lauren having taken Jasper to the
treatment centre with the rest of the girls on their weekly
Wednesday night visit. “Are you sure?” she asked, her face
moving closer to the screen, trying to get a better look. “I’m sure
Camz,” Lauren chuckled lightly. “You’ll see when you’re home
tomorrow. He’s almost exactly the same as a he was twenty four
hours ago.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 4/10 “Don’t tease me,” Camila scolded
playfully. “I miss him.” “Well, he misses you too. We both do.”
Lauren told her. Camila physically moved her hand closer to the
screen in an attempt to reach for Lauren’s, completely forgetting
that they were in totally different locations. “Whoops,” Camila
said, her cheeks glowing red in embarrassment as her hand
collided with the screen. “I always forget that I’m not actually
there.” “Not yet,” Lauren told her and Camila smiled, still red-
faced at her mistake. “So, tomorrow…” Camila started
suggestively, trying to regain her composure and assert her
dominance again. “I’ll be there…” “Yes,” Lauren answered, already
knowing where this conversation was going from the smirk on
Camila’s face. “And, well, you’ll be there…” Camila continued,
provocatively. “I will be,” Lauren agreed, her smile widening at
her girlfriend’s words. “Why? Did you want to do something?” she
 asked, playing along. “I don’t know,” Camila said suddenly acting
coy. “Do you?” “We could go to Jimmy’s for dinner?” Lauren
suggested to her, purposefully changing the subject to irritate her.
“I could call the girls and we could make it a celebration.” “I
actually had something else in mind,” Camila laughed, although if
that wasn’t going to happen she wouldn’t be opposed to dinner
with the girls. “Oh yeah,” Lauren said, trying to get Camila to say
it, to be the first to break in their ongoing duel. “What exactly
were you thinking?” she asked. “You know what I’m thinking
Laur,” Camila replied, biting her bottom lip and Lauren smiled
amused at her girlfriend’s obvious difficulty maintaining her self-
restraint, the sudden slip into the use of her nickname giving her
away. “I’m going to need to hear you say it,” Lauren informed her
mischievously as she enjoyed watching Camila squirm. “Jaspers
there,” Camila reminded her, similarly to how Lauren often used
him as a deflection. “He has little ears.” “He’s seen worse than
anything you could possibly say,” Lauren chuckled loudly. “Or
don’t you remember Camz? I believe it was you that instigated
what happened that night, despite him being here.” “Oh, of
course,” Camila said, feigning remembrance and clicking the
fingers of her right hand dramatically, “I’d forgotten about that.”
“Ouch,” Lauren returned, pretending to be mortally offended at
Camila’s words. “I was that memorable then?” she asked. The
corner of Camila’s mouth turned up into a smile as Lauren
suddenly thought of something. “Actually,” she said, her brow
 furrowing thoughtfully. “I guess it was really you that wasn’t that
memorable, huh Camz?” “You’re mean,” Camila told her, “but,
yes, I suppose that’s true considering you were there and I was
here.” She acknowledged. “You know, you still haven’t told me
exactly what it is you want to do tomorrow night,” Lauren
repeated. “I might have to make other plans…” “There’s no way
that you’d ever do that,” Camila told her confidently. “Perhaps I’ll
have a better offer,” Lauren teased and Camila pouted, causing
Lauren to avert her eyes from the screen quickly. “That’s not fair,”
Lauren said and Camila laughed. “I know, but it’s so effective,” she
replied entertained. “Besides it’s your turn to say it. Not mine.”
She said. “So, I’m not going to break.” “I give you two minutes
before you’re practically begging me,” Lauren returned, lifting her
gaze once more, determined to beat Camila at her own game.
“You have zero willpower Camz.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 5/10 “That’s not true,” Camila said
affronted. “Remember that time I didn’t think I’d be able to finish
those three large pizza’s on my own?” she recalled. “I struggled
through that challenge and proved you all wrong.” “Camz, you
almost threw up because you’d eaten so much and then you
physically couldn’t move for like, two hours afterwards.” Lauren
said, tucking a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. “Look
Lauren,” Camila said, getting straight to the point. “Just put both
of us out of our misery and say it…then we can move on to
 discussing other things.” “I’m not going to break Camz,” Lauren
told her decisively. “You should know how stubborn I can be.”
“Oh, come on.” Camila whined, desperate not to be the one to
crack yet again. “I always say it.” “That’s because you have a one
track mind,” Lauren reminded her. “Please Lauren,” Camila
practically pleaded with her girlfriend. “Do it for me. You love me
right?” “You know I do,” Lauren replied, laughing at Camila’s
attempted change of tactic, “but this is way too much fun to end
so quickly.” “Ugh,” Camila groaned, frowning. “Fine, if you must
hear me say it, then what I actually had in mind involved me, you
and a notable lack of clothing.” “We’re going swimming?” Lauren
teased and Camila rolled her eyes, realising that her girlfriend
really was going to make her state it bluntly. “Tomorrow night I
want to have sex with you.” Camila responded, grumpy. “There,
are you happy now?” “Oh, ok.” Lauren said as though she’d only
just understood Camila’s insinuations. “How exactly do you
propose that we do that?” Lauren asked, enjoying Camila’s mood,
the adorable way her nose scrunched up in annoyance. “Your
parents will be home so your house is out of the question…” “I
hadn’t thought about the details but, it’s been ten weeks since
we’ve been together properly and don’t you think that tomorrow
would be the perfect opportunity for us to celebrate our physical
reunion, with, well, a physical reunion?” She rambled, raising one
eyebrow suggestively. “I could think of nothing else that I would
rather be doing with my evening tomorrow,” Lauren finally
admitted, making Camila smile brightly, “So, I suppose it’s a good
thing that I’ll have the house to myself isn’t it?” “Are you
serious?” Camila asked. “Where is everyone going to be?” “Out,”
Lauren said simply, smirking. “Where?” Camila questioned,
shifting her weight on her elbows, evidently becoming stiff from
having remained in the same position for too long. “Does it
matter?” Lauren laughed. “I guess not,” Camila replied, chuckling.
“I was just wondering, that’s all.” “Well, I’ve been wondering
something too,” Lauren said and Camila cocked her head to the
side with interest, waiting for her girlfriend to continue. “What?”
Camila asked as she watched Lauren continue to stare at her
through the screen, stroking Jasper affectionately as he slept on
her lap. “I was wondering if you got my text message?” Lauren
asked, her left hand reappearing in the frame from where it had
been sitting slightly out of view. “No, what…” Camila began, her
head turning to the right as the message tone on her phone was
heard over the connection. She moved from the bed, standing up
to leave Lauren looking at a now almost empty screen, Camila’s
crumpled duvet and pillow the only thing visible against the back
drop of a pale beige wall. Lauren waited patiently for Camila to
return, her brow furrowing in confusion when she didn’t.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 6/10 “Camz?” Lauren queried
concerned. “Are you alright?” she asked, leaning forward a little
as though it would help her to get a better view of the room and,
 as a result her girlfriend. “Camz babe?” Still Camila didn’t return
to the bed and Lauren felt her heart lurch in her chest. She placed
Jasper on to the bed beside her and picked up the laptop, turning
it slightly at an angle, trying her best to see what was going on,
but, painfully unable to change the position of the computer on
the other side of the call. “Jesus Camz you’re scaring me,” Lauren
said worriedly. “Are you alright? Babe?” Lauren reached for her
phone, ready to call the rehabilitation centre, troubled by
Camila’s prolonged absence, especially after she’d had to witness
her girlfriend having a seizure via Skype a couple of weeks ago,
the smaller girl convulsing violently on the bed as she’d watched,
virtually helpless, from her bedroom. Lauren had called the
centre’s reception almost immediately when it had happened and
they’d sent someone to check on Camila without hesitation,
closing her girlfriend’s laptop and barring Lauren from witnessing
what had happened next. Luckily though, Camila had come
around again after only a few minutes, a little disorientated but
relatively none the worse for wear. She’d been checked over by
the medical doctor on site and had not needed to be taken to the
hospital, but Lauren had been paralysed with fear, the memory of
Camila’s last seizure and the resultant stay on the intensive care
unit still painfully fresh in her mind. “Fucking hell Camz, say
something,” Lauren pleaded, her hand grasping her phone
anxiously. “Are you alright?” “No,” came Camila’s voice and
Lauren released a long drawn out breath, unaware she’d even
 been holding one in. “I think you just killed me,” she said, her
small form reappearing in view as she lay back down on the bed
again. “You scared the fucking shit out of me,” Lauren cursed, her
concern manifesting as anger. “Sorry,” Camila apologised
sincerely, noting Lauren’s obvious distress, biting her bottom lip
regretfully. “Ithought you’d had another seizure or something,”
Lauren admitted, the harsh tone of her voice almost completely
disappearing as she studied her girlfriend closely, her fears put to
rest at the sight of her looking just as she had done moments
before. “I really am sorry Lauren,” Camila said apologetically,
shuffling closer to the camera and lowering her face in front of it.
“I’m fine, honestly.” She reassured her. “See?” “Are you sure?”
Lauren asked needing Camila’s verbal confirmation before she’d
be completely satisfied. “Yeah,” she answered. “I’m fine babe.”
She assured her. “I was just struggling to formulate a coherent
thought because a certain someone sent me a naked picture of
themselves and I almost passed out.” She informed her smiling
brightly. “I mean, you should see it. This person is hot, like, she
could be a supermodel she’s so attractive…” “Did Dinah send you
a naked selfie again?” Lauren joked, allowing herself to relax
finally at Camila’s playful manner. “I’ve already had words with
her about how inappropriate that is.” She said lightly, a small
smile gracing her own lips. “You’re my girlfriend, not hers.” “I
know but, what can I say?” Camila replied, continuing with the
charade and moving back away from the camera a little. “I’m
 premium property. Everyone wants to date me. You’ve got some
stiff competition Jauregui…” “Maybe,” Lauren mused
thoughtfully, carrying on with the pretence, “but I have something
that they don’t have.” She informed Camila. “Oh yeah and what’s
that?” Camila asked. “Jasper,” Lauren replied, picking up the
puppy and sitting him back on her lap, the small dog licking the
back of her hand enthusiastically “You make a compelling
argument,” Camila responded, laughing lightly. “So you think
Dinah’s hot?” Lauren asked jestingly. “Yeah,” Camila said, holding
up her phone and shaking it in front of the screen for Lauren to
see. “I’d show you the picture but it’s kind of private. Sorry.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 7/10 “Does it look like this?” Lauren
asked, lifting up her own phone at the webcam and displaying the
picture she’d taken almost a week ago now but never sent, feeling
too selfconscious. “Huh,” Camila said, glancing between the two
pictures. “Now that you mention it…the one Dinah sent me does
kind of look like that.” She noted, squinting her eyes theatrically.
“Did she send you one too? What kind of game is she playing?
This is totally not on. I thought I was the only person she loved.
We were going to get married and have giant uncoordinated
children together.” “Camz,” Lauren complained, trying to get her
girlfriend to be serious for one second. “Honestly, I mean, it’s
ok…” “Are you joking?” Camila asked kissing the phones screen
lovingly, sensing Lauren’s insecurity. “You’re stunning Lauren,
 please don’t feel embarrassed or insecure…” “Really?” Lauren
asked and Camila nodded her head in response. “If I was there I’d
kiss you right now,” Camila told Lauren, her face scrunching up as
she came to a decision. “Actually,” she said, sitting up slightly, her
weight propped on her elbows as she leant forward and placed a
soft kiss against the camera built in to her laptop. “There,” she
said, grinning broadly. “You’re such a dork,” Lauren laughed and
Camila kissed the camera again in response causing her girlfriend
to chuckle once more. “I can’t believe that you’re feeling self-
conscious about your picture,” Camila told her seriously. “You’re
probably the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” She shared
with her honestly. “You never believe me when I tell you that.”
Lauren commented. “Why should I believe you? What’s the
difference?” she asked interestedly. “The difference is that I’m
not flawless like you are…” Camila began. “I love your scars
Camz,” Lauren told her knowingly, cutting her off. “You should
love them too. They’re a reminder of everything that you’ve been
through and everything that you’ve survived. You should
celebrate them.” “I don’t think I’ll ever love them.” Camila
admitted. “But, I think I’m growing to accept them and that’s the
most important thing.” She informed her. “You though…you have
nothing to feel insecure about. You’re gorgeous Lauren,” Camila
declared, reaching her hand forward in an attempt to stroke
Lauren’s brow reassuringly. “In fact, if I was there with you right
now I don’t think we’d still be talking about this.” She said
 suggestively. “Perhaps the only way for me to prove how much I
am attracted to you is by showing you…” she trailed off. “Well, we
have tomorrow for that.” Lauren laughed and Camila raised her
eyebrow seductively. “Or…” she said with a mischievous glint in
her eyes, smirking slightly. “We could…you know…” “Oh no,”
Lauren replied, glancing at her door worriedly at the thought. “My
parents are downstairs.” “That didn’t stop you last time,” Camila
reminded her. “It was twelve o’clock at night,” Lauren answered
amused. “No one was going to come barging in to my room
unannounced but they might now. How would I explain me sat
here…you know?” she asked. “Doing that?” “Tell them you’re a
teenager in love,” Camila suggested unhelpfully. “That your
girlfriend is away and this is the only way for us to be together
until I’m home.” “Do you want me to live until tomorrow?” Lauren
asked. “I think I’d actually rather die than have to explain that
situation away.” “Dying is overrated,” Camila said and Lauren
smiled; glad to hear the words out of her girlfriend’s mouth.
“Besides, I didn’t hear you complaining that time we tried it,”
Camila reminded her. “In fact, you kind of looked like you were
enjoying it.” “It was definitely….” She said, pausing for a moment
to think of the right word to describe her and Camila’s
experimentation. “Interesting.” She admitted, turning bright red
at the recollection.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 8/10 “You have to admit it was kind of
 exciting,” Camila prompted and one side of Lauren’s mouth
turned up in a halfsmile. “I’m not denying that.” Lauren said
honestly. “We only ever did it the once though.” Camila noted
feeling slightly puzzled. “Why was that?” “You kept falling asleep
whilst we were talking and so we never had the chance again,”
Lauren chuckled brightly at the memory of all the times she’d
been lying in bed, deep in conversation with Camila, only to find
that the other girl had drifted off to sleep right in front of her
eyes. “I was tired.” Camila complained pouting. “I have a lot of
sleep to catch up on remember? I have nightmares.” “Not once
have I been woken up because you’ve been screaming on the
other side of my laptop,” Lauren informed her. Each time Camila
had fallen asleep, her laptop resting on the bedside table by her
bed, Lauren had placed her own computer on the pillow beside
her, imagining that they were sleeping together. She enjoyed
watching Camila sleep, the relaxed tone of her features, the
content look of her girlfriend’s face making her happy in a way
that she didn’t even know was possible. If Camila looked peaceful,
Lauren automatically felt a serenity fall upon herself in response.
It was as though her mood directly correlated to Camila’s. If her
girlfriend was anxious, so was she. If she was stressed, Lauren felt
it too. If she was calm, Lauren instantly felt quiet as well. “You
know I sleep better when you’re there,” Camila told her truthfully.
“Isn’t that why we stopped saying ‘Goodnight’ so to speak?” she
asked. After Camila had fallen asleep a few times, Lauren and she
 had stopped logging off at night, instead leaving the Skype
conversation running until they woke up the next morning.
“Partly,” Lauren answered. “Mostly it was because I enjoy
watching you sleep. I find it comforting to know you’re alright.” “I
want to sleep next to you forever,” Camila informed her. “Do you
think you’d have a problem with that?” she asked. “No,” Lauren
replied smiling at Camila’s words. “In fact, I can’t wait until we’re
able to spend lazy weekends cuddled up together in bed, only
getting up to eat and drink.” “I’m probably going to need to pee at
some point too,” Camila said laughing. “Ok, so we’ll only get up to
eat, drink and pee.” Lauren laughed, “But that’s all.” “What if we
need to let Jasper out?” Camila asked logically. “We’ll get him a
dog door.” Lauren replied practically. “That way he can let himself
out.” “It’s a shame we won’t be able to do that this weekend.”
Camila said regretfully. “I think it sounds like a nice way to spend
a day.” “We’ll do it one day.” Lauren reassured her. “We’ll be able
to do it so much that you’ll probably get sick of it after a while.” “I
don’t think I’d ever get sick of being with you Lauren.” Camila
said. “Then…” Lauren began but she was interrupted by a knock
on the door, her mom’s head appearing around it after a second.
“Dinner’s ready,” she told Lauren, who had turned to look in the
direction of the interruption. “Ok mom,” Lauren said, turning back
to look at Camila who was making a sad face at the screen. “Hi
Camila,” Clara said loudly, a smile on her face as she turned
around and disappeared behind the door again, closing it softly
 behind her. “Hi!” Camila called, waving at the screen
enthusiastically as though Lauren’s mom could see her. “She’s
gone Camz,” Lauren informed her girlfriend amused.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66302686430/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part1 9/10 “Oh,” Camila said laughing.
“Whoops.” “I’ve got to go,” Lauren told her apologetically. “I
won’t be long though,” she said. “I’ll be here,” Camila told her,
picking up the most recent book she was reading; ‘The Old Man
and the Sea’ which she flashed it in front of the screen. “I’ll just
read until you get back.” “Ok,” Lauren said, planting Jasper on the
bed in front of the laptop and blowing Camila a kiss, touching the
screen with her fingers as the smaller girl scrunched up her nose
in response to the gesture. “See you in a minute.” “Bye,” Camila
said, opening her book and glancing down at the page where
she’d last left off. “Alright Jasper,” Lauren heard Camila say to the
puppy who had settled back down to sleep on the bed. “Where
were we?” she asked and Lauren smiled to herself, loitering by
the door for a minute. “Ah, yes,” she said, ‘If the others heard me
talking out loud they would think that I am crazy. But since I am
not, I do not care…’ Lauren smiled at the irony in the words
before turning and making her way downstairs, leaving Camila as
she always did, reading to Jasper, who was a less than attentive
listener, whilst she had dinner with her family.
Chapter 50 (part 2)
When Lauren returned from dinner forty minutes later, she found
Camila softly singing to herself, her low raspy tone tackling
Kodaline’s ‘Latch’ as she continued to read Ernest Hemingway’s
classic tale of ‘The Old Man and the Sea.’ Camila had shifted
position on the bed so that she was now lying on her back, the top
of her head the only thing visible on the computer screen in front
of Lauren as she lowered herself back on to her own mattress
beside Jasper, who was fast asleep, curled up on the duvet. “You
lift up my heart when the rest of me is down, you, you enchant
me, even when you’re not around. If there are boundaries, I will
try to knock them down. I’m latching on babe, Now I know what I
have found. I feel we’re close enough, I wanna lock you in my
love. Ifeel we’re close enough, I wanna lock you in my love, your
love…” Lauren watched Camila for a moment, a smile on her lips
as she admired the way her girlfriends’ head rocked slowly from
side to side as she sang, contently lost in the fictional story at her
fingertips and enjoying the musical sound of her own voice as she
conveyed the lyrics movingly, seemingly absorbed in the words as
they left her lips. “Now I’ve got you in my space, I won’t let go of
you, you got me shackled in my embrace, I’m latching on to
you…” Lauren sat and listened to Camila, closing her eyes for a
while as she stroked Jasper mindlessly out of habit, appreciating
the dulcet tone of her girlfriends’ voice, remembering when
Camila had first played the song for her after declaring her love to
her for the first time. The memory made Lauren’s chest ache, not
 painfully or uncomfortably, but in the familiar way that it did
whenever she thought about Camila, a deep sense of longing and
of love spreading throughout her from limb to limb. “I feel so
encaptured, got me wrapped up in your touch. Feel so
enamoured; hold me tight within your clutch. How did you do it?
You got me losing all my breath. How did you get me to have my
heart beat out my chest?” Lauren opened her eyes and cleared
her throat loudly in an attempt to get Camila’s attention, her
girlfriend practically falling off the bed at the sound, her body
lifting inches off the mattress, jumping with fright at the
unexpected noise and rolling out of view to the accompaniment
of a loud thud and audible groan. “Shit!” Lauren gasped, moving
closer to the screen and waiting anxiously for Camila to appear
again. A moment later, Camila’s sprung back in to view, flopping
back down on to her front on the bed with an amused expression
on her face. “Fuck I’m so sorry,” Lauren apologised as Camila’s
grin grew wide, evidently unconcerned by the start she’d just
received. “Are you alright?” Lauren asked, picking up the laptop
and resting it on her knees as she leant back against the head of
the bed. “I’m ok,” Camila replied, laughing at the worried
expression on her girlfriends’ face. “Solid as a rock this noggin’”
she told her, knocking on her head lightly for effect before moving
her hand down to rest over her heart for a brief instant. “I think I
might have had a minor heart attack though,” she commented,
sucking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly. “Shit, you Jauregui’s
 are like ninjas…do they teach you to sneak up on people or is it
some kind of instinct you just develop as you get older?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66417754270/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part2 2/8 “I think it’s an instinct thing,”
Lauren laughed and Camila smiled reflexively at the sound of it as
she settled back down to resume their conversation. Over the
course of the next four hours, Lauren and Camila interacted via
Skype as they did every day. They discussed a multitude of
different subjects, including Normani’s most recent dating
catastrophe, the imminent start of Lauren’s softball season and
the upcoming Taylor Swift concert this Saturday. Camila also
spent some time helping Lauren complete her English homework,
explaining the important themes of George Orwell’s ‘1984,’ the
smaller girl having already completed her own assignment on the
same book a few weeks before. As the afternoon progressed first
to evening and then decisively in to night, Camila once again
broached the topic of experimenting, as they had done only once
before over webcam, apparently eager to celebrate their fast
approaching reunion in advance. “Camz surely you can wait just
one more day?” Lauren laughed, having just returned to her
bedroom from brushing her teeth. She had changed in to her
pyjamas and clambered under her duvet, the alarm clock on her
nightstand reading just after ten thirty. “I really don’t think that I
can,” Camila told her seriously. She was lying on her side in her
own bed, her laptop resting on the nightstand beside her pillow
facing her. “It’s just one more day,” Lauren responded. “Just think
Camz, this time tomorrow you’ll be home and we’ll be together
again.” “Ijust…I really want to be with you now Lauren,” Camila
informed her honestly. “You are with me,” Lauren reminded her.
“We’re talking right now.” She laughed. “No Lauren,” Camila said,
“I want to be able to touch you, to kiss your lips and brush the
hair out of your eyes. It’s stupid how much I miss being able to
feel your skin beneath my fingers. It’s like my brain finds it
difficult to conceive that you’re real unless it has something it can
physically feel in order to prove it. I need to feel you Lauren. I
need to be able to touch you.” “You saw me yesterday,” Lauren
said with a sad smile on her face at Camila’s words. “We were
together yesterday Camz. Remember? The girls and I came to
visit…” “I know,” Camila replied, “it’s just…” “It’s just what?”
Lauren asked, her brow furrowing in concern at the gravity of
Camila’s tone. “Sometimes I wonder whether this is all real,”
Camila admitted, her eyes glancing down at her feet which were
hidden beneath her bed covers, one hand playing with the fabric
of her duvet mindlessly, her fingers picking at the cotton. “Us?”
Lauren asked her confused. “No,” Camila answered, lifting her
gaze back to the laptop screen to meet Lauren’s gaze.
“Everything.” “You think you’re dreaming?” Lauren questioned in
understanding. “Sometimes.” Camila confirmed truthfully. “Is that
stupid?” she asked rubbing at her eye for a moment. “I mean, I’m
doing so much better,” she acknowledged, “and I know deep
 down that this is my life and it’s happening but, every so often I
get this irrational fear that one day I’ll wake up and everything
between us, everything that’s occurred over the last nine months,
won’t have actually happened.” “Babe,” Lauren said, reaching a
hand forward and touching the screen beside her. “You’re not
dreaming…” “I know that,” Camila interceded trying to sound
confident but failing. She shook her head a little in an attempt to
clear it. “I do, I know that this is real but sometimes I imagine it,
you know?” she asked. “It’ll just happen without any prior
warning and I’ll picture waking up, still in that same hospital bed,
still ventilated and I can feel it…that emptiness which washes over
me as I realise that I’m right back at the start again, that we’ve
never met and that I imagined you to be real, that my brain
created you as my guardian angel, to watch over me whilst I slept,
to lead me back to reality again, to comfort me. That feeling
terrifies me Lauren.” Lauren didn’t say anything in response
because she didn’t know what to say to comfort her girlfriend, she
felt utterly useless, incapable of reassuring her, of allaying her
fears. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66417754270/trials-
andtribulationschapter50part2 3/8 Normally when Lauren was
lost for consoling words she would rely on her physical presence
to pacify Camila’s concerns; she would entwine their hands, or
delicately stroke Camila’s brow, allowing her fingertips to trace
over her girlfriend’s scars calmingly. Just as she understood that,
Lauren realised that whilst they’d been physically distanced,
 whilst they were separated by miles of black asphalt and endless
motorways, she couldn’t provide that tactile reassurance for
Camila, and suddenly, her girlfriends’ often unexplained and
sudden desire to be intimate made complete sense. “Even if we
did something tonight,” Lauren said pragmatically. “It wouldn’t be
real Camz. I’m not there with you. I’m here.” “I’m so scared,”
Camila admitted and Lauren’s mouth twitched; her features
thoughtful, the urge to feel like she was doing something
productive to help her girlfriend washing over her like a wave
crashing roughly against the shore. “I hate it when this happens. I
don’t want this to be over.” “It won’t be,” Lauren told her. “I’m
here Camz,” she tried to soothe. “Trust me…I’m real.” “I’m being
stupid.” Camila said trying once again to shake the uninvited
doubt that had come over here. It’s not like Camila had never
experienced this before because she had, numerous times, her
belief in the world around her crushed beneath the knowledge of
what had happened to her, the quiet distrust that information
ignited in her own existence often paralysing her until she either
fell asleep or felt Lauren’s hand firmly close around her own.
More often these attacks occurred at night, whilst Camila was
alone with her thoughts, contemplating the day’s events and her
feelings in response to them, but, on occasion they’d also caught
her off guard during the day, at rehab, home and at school. “It’s
not stupid,” Lauren told her truthfully. “It must be horrible.” She
recognised. “To feel like you can’t trust anything you see or hear,
to suspect everything is false…” “I really wish you were here right
now,” Camila said and Lauren wished she were there too so that
she could wrap her arms around her girlfriend and hold her tight
against her body until she believed in this reality without a
shadow of a doubt. “I wish I were there too,” Lauren responded
sincerely, forgetting a time she’d ever wanted anything else. They
lay in silence for a moment, Camila picking at her duvet
distractedly whilst Lauren watched feeling utterly useless. “So…”
Lauren started hesitantly after a while. “Talk to me about what
you had in mind for tonight then Camz.” She prompted, trying to
distract Camila from her thoughts. “No we don’t have to,” Camila
said lifting her gaze to meet Lauren’s. “You were right it’s not the
same…” “It might help take your mind off things for a while
though.” Lauren offered, raising her eyebrows suggestively. “You
know, it could be our warm up for tomorrow,” she said jokingly as
she made a concerted effort to put a smile on her face. “Kind of
like stretching before a marathon or something…” “Can you tell
me a story?” Camila asked Lauren, cutting her off and changing
the topic, all thought and longing to do anything else now gone.
“A story?” Lauren questioned puzzled. “You mean, like, from a
book?” “No,” Camila replied shaking her head. “About you.” She
clarified. “From your childhood…” “Do you think that would
help?” Lauren queried and Camila’s mouth actually turned up into
an almost imperceptible smile. “Hearing your voice helps,” Camila
shared with her, cuddling in to her pillow closer and pulling the
stuffed toy that Sofi had given her for Christmas closer against her
chest. “Ok,” Lauren said, settling down into the bed further. “Let
me think…” She paused for a moment, considering a story that
she could tell Camila which her girlfriend hadn’t already heard,
something new, something meaningful to her, something
personal. “Alright,” she started her voice quiet, finally deciding on
the memory she was going to share with Camila. “When I was in
sixth grade, my parents took us all to Disney World
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66417754270/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part2 4/8 in Orlando,” Lauren said, smiling
at the memory of their trip. “I was twelve years old at the time,”
she said hesitantly, trying to remember her precise age, “and it
was the first family vacation that I can still vividly remember every
detail of to this very day.” She mused, her eyes meeting Camila’s
who was watching her interestedly. “We drove down one
Saturday in August, me, Chris and Taylor all cramped together in
the back of my parents car, our luggage compressed closely in the
limited trunk space, my dad driving and my mom sat beside him,
her hand either on his knee or linked with his own for the entirety
of the journey. I remember that they had the radio on and I could
see my dad smile in the rear view mirror as he glanced back in it
to check on me and the others only to find us bopping around
excitedly to every song on the radio. We were like that for the
whole journey, dancing animatedly despite our confinement and
singing along, out of tune but enthusiastically to every song which
 played, making up new lyrics when we didn’t know the actual
ones.” She paused for a minute to glance at Camila who was still
watching her. “We’d play car games,” Lauren continued. “I spy,
twenty questions, the licence plate game, you name it and we
played it. I remember feeling exhausted because we’d had to get
up early to make the journey and none of us had slept well the
night before, all of us too excited to sleep and eager to make the
trip, to finally get to Disney World, to see the characters and the
castle, to witness the magic of the place in person. It was strange
though, how I felt so completely tired yet, animated at the same
time, hyped up on soda and candy, the prospect of our
destination giving me an adrenaline rush that made me agitated.”
Lauren reached up and tilted the laptop screen down a little so
that she could see Camila better, her girlfriend disappearing
slightly in the darkness of the room, but rematerializing with a
slight change of position. “We were staying in the resort,” Lauren
went on, her tone soothing; thoughtful, “and I remember feeling
really mature because me, Chris and Taylor were staying in an
adjoining room to our parents and it was nice, to be so close to
them but to have some independence.” “I bet you were well
behaved,” Camila commented sleepily and Lauren smiled at her
girlfriend, whose eyes looked heavy and tired. “You made sure
that everyone went to bed on time and didn’t make too much
noise…” “I tried,” Lauren admitted laughing lightly. “I wanted to
show my parents I was responsible, that they could trust me but, I
 have two younger siblings who were relishing the freedom to do
everything that they could think of to have fun. Chris and Taylor
would jump on the bed’s and throw Taylor’s stuffed reindeer at
each other, scoring points if the other one missed it and the toy
hit the wall behind them. They were so giddy and happy.” Lauren
recalled fondly. “I remember worrying that my parents would
come in and tell us off, that they’d punish us for being so
noisy…but they never did. I couldn’t relax though because I was
the oldest and I was supposed to be the sensible one out of the
three of us. There was an expectation for me to be wellbehaved,
to not be childish…but I wanted to so much because Chris and
Taylor were laughing so hard at one another’s idiocy, they were
making jokes and messing around together.” She stopped briefly
and sighed to herself wistfully. “They kept calling on me to join in;
to stand between the beds and try to intercept the reindeer
before one of them could catch it. If I did, then I would switch
places with one of them and we’d start over again.” “Did you?”
Camila asked groggily. “Yeah,” Lauren replied grinning broadly. “I
did. I joined in and it was fun. I let go of all my worries, all my
concerns and for a few minutes I just let myself experience life
and live in the moment, to appreciate the simplicity of our
entertainment and enjoy simply being with my family. I didn’t
think about making a memory, the situation wasn’t forced; it just
existed.” Lauren saw the faint outline of a smile on Camila’s face
and felt her heart lift happily in response. “We had the most
incredible vacation,” Lauren shared with Camila. “I stopped trying
to grow up too quickly and I let myself just be a kid for a little
while longer, running around the park with Chris and Taylor to get
photographs with each of the characters we met, asking them to
scrawl their autographs in our books. I still have it somewhere,
tucked away for preservations sake.” She admitted unashamedly.
“I loved it there,” Lauren told Camila. “For a number of reasons,
because when you’re younger and
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66417754270/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part2 5/8 smaller, everything there seems
bigger, more impressive and breathtaking. I’ll never forget the
moment that we approached Cinderella’s castle and how I’d felt
dwarfed in its shadow, insignificant in comparison to its
overwhelming size. It was magical. I fell in love with it, the way it
made me believe in fairy tales and happy endings, how it made all
the movies I’d seen growing up seem real despite the part of my
brain telling me that they weren’t, that they were just stories, that
I was too old to be in awe of something so…manufactured,
because I was almost an adult and they know better than to
believe in something which doesn’t exist.” Lauren shifted position
on the bed slightly, watching as Camila’s eyelids fluttered open
and closed heavily, her girlfriend fighting sleep, her mind
sufficiently preoccupied with her story to think about her own
debate regarding reality versus fiction. “It’s not wrong to want to
believe in something…” Camila mumbled drowsily, her eyes
 fluttering closed again briefly before opening once more. “No,”
Lauren agreed. “Especially when the something that you believe
in is real Camz… because it was real, not the park, or the castle,”
she explained, “because no princesses lived there, and no prince
ever came to the tower to save her from her troubles, from her
own personal trials, her tribulations. Disney World wasn’t
authentic, it was a concept, an idea, thought up by someone else
and built for other people to enjoy, but, the way I felt, the
emotions I experienced on that vacation, they were tangible and
they existed. For one week I lived an almost perfect life, away
from reality, from the difficulties and struggles of everyday life. I
lived a fairy tale existence Camz, for a short time at least. After all,
fairy tales are just stories that aren’t finished yet, aren’t they?”
she asked and Camila groaned in response, her eyes closed, only
halflistening now as she dozed. “Walt Disney wasn’t selling a
fantasy with his resort,” Lauren continued regardless pleased to
see Camila’s relaxed features, the peaceful expression on her
face, “he was promoting a feeling, he was reminding everyone
what it was like to be a kid, to escape from the sometimes
monotonous routine of life and feel hopeful and grateful for your
blessings again; to want to sing and dance, to appreciate nature,
to fight for a happy ending, to overcome what sometimes seemed
like insurmountable troubles, to love.” Lauren paused, smiling to
herself as she felt Jasper shift his position and lie across her feet
at the end of the bed. “Every adult that I saw there during my stay
 wore content expressions, shared loving glances with their
spouses or relished the look of excitement on their children’s
faces; they appreciated everything that they had. The park wasn’t
a reality, it isn’t a sustainable lifestyle but, at the same time it
was…” Lauren mused, losing the point she was trying to make
completely, “because no matter what your situation, what
difficulties you are going through, you can always spare a minute
to appreciate that you have life, that you are blessed, that there is
beauty everywhere in the world if you take the time to look for it.
Our family vacation is one of my favourite memories growing up,”
Lauren told Camila, knowing her girlfriend was almost completely
asleep now. “Whenever I’m feeling low, or like my life is passing
by too quickly, I remember how I felt then and I’ll go outside and
sit in the garden, or put on a song that I associate with a fond
memory and I’ll sing along to it. I’ll appreciate the little things in
life, because when you really think about it, they’re actually the
big things, the important things.” Lauren concluded her story,
watching Camila whose eyes were now closed; her breathing
steady and settled as she snored softly. “You’re my Disney
princess Camz,” Lauren sighed thoughtfully, tracing her fingertips
lightly over the screen beside her, above Camila’s forehead and
the scar that she knew remained there. “You make me appreciate
the songs; you fill my heart with music that I want to sing along
with, my day with colour in a sometimes monochrome world, my
life with love. That’s real. It’s not a dream, like the resort, this is
the reality, like the feeling that you get there, it’s tangible, it’s the
one thing that you don’t doubt in a place filled with so many
unbelievable and magical things. When you wake up I’ll be here,”
Lauren told her, “because I’m not just some fictitious character
that you created babe, I promise. You’re not still in a coma…”
“You’re my prince,” Lauren heard Camila murmur quietly and she
was surprised at the sound, assuming her girlfriend had been
slumbering deeply. “You saved me…you always do…” “I guess that
means we get our happy ending then,” Lauren replied. “I’ll put on
your glass slipper and we’ll get married in a grand ceremony with
all our friends and family.” “We’ll live happily ever after,” Camila
mumbled. “Starting from tomorrow.” “Starting tomorrow,”
Lauren agreed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66417754270/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part2 6/8 “Thanks for telling me the story,”
Camila slurred sleepily, her eyes still closed. “You’re welcome,”
Lauren replied, still caressing the screen with her fingertips. “Did
it help?” she asked. “For a while,” Camila told her. “Then it just
made me realise something…” “What?” Lauren asked. “That
you’re too good to be true,” Camila answered and Lauren
frowned, not sure if the smaller girl was still fearful or not.
“Camz?” Lauren questioned. “Yeah,” Camila responded. “Are you
still scared?” she asked and Camila shook her head ‘no.’ “Why
not?” Lauren asked her puzzled. “Because,” Camila sighed, “if this
is a dream and if I’m still in a coma, then I know one thing to be
 true…” Lauren waited, hoping for further explanation. “Camz,”
Lauren prompted, stirring Camila who had drifted off to sleep
again. “What do you know to be true?” “That in Disney movies
the prince wakes the sleeping princess with a kiss.” Camila
reminded her, “and that doesn’t scare me at all. I would gladly
wake up to that.” Lauren smiled a Camila’s words, the expression
lost on the smaller girl whose eyes were still closed, her breathing
settling once more. “Ilove you Camz,” Lauren declared. “Ilove you
too,” Camila reciprocated, still struggling to stay awake. “Sleep
babe, please sleep. I’ll be watching over you whilst you do,”
Lauren encouraged, but Camila didn’t respond, her gentle snores
once again making themselves heard, the sound music to Lauren’s
ears. A/N: Holy shit this is going to be one long ass
chapter…there’s actually going to be four parts! Fuck! Anyway, I
got caught up with a friend after I eventually left work but, here’s
something to tide you over x
Chapter 50 part 3
A/N: Ok, so I wasn’t sure about splitting the last part of the
chapter but my ask box has literally been inundated with requests
to do so…therefore, here you go. Sorry if it’s a bit boring though.
Anyway, the last part of the chapter will be explicit so if you don’t
like reading that kind of thing I suggest that you skip it, lol x
Lauren had woken the next morning to the intrusive sound of her
radio alarm clock, Jasper licking at her right foot enthusiastically,
the appendage protruding from beneath her duvet as a result of it
 having ridden up as she’d moved around in the night, exposing it
to his attention. It took Lauren a moment to come around and she
rubbed furiously at the sleep in her eyes with the back of her
hand, rolling over on to her front and sliding her foot beneath the
protective shelter of her duvet, the movement causing Jasper to
jump on top of the soft covering eagerly as he tried to catch it.
Lauren stretched out her arms, her muscles and joints stiff,
protesting at the demand that she was placing on them so early in
the day, but soon relaxing, the tension in them evaporating in a
mere instant. Lauren buried her face in to her pillow and groaned
audibly, reluctant to get up and go to school, feeling much too
comfortable in her double bed, shrouded within the warmth of
her quilt. She felt Jasper’s small paws trace a path along her back,
the small canine’s balance precarious at numerous times as he
made his way towards Lauren’s head and down on to the pillow
beside her. She felt something solid shift down next to her at
Jasper’s disturbance of it and remembered that she’d fallen
asleep watching Camila slumber through her laptop, the hard
casing of the device now pressing against her shoulder where she
lay. Lauren exhaled slowly and pushed herself up in to a sitting
position, resting her back against the head of the bed for a minute
and lifting the computer up on to her lap, hoping to see Camila
still asleep in the bed. Instead, she found herself looking at a
neatly made bed, her girlfriends’ notably absent. Camila was
nowhere to be seen, but her laptop was still sitting where it had
 done last night, on her nightstand and a large note was taped to
the wall opposite it, the words written in huge, bold letters.
“Morning prince, Have a good day! Don’t go kissing any other
princesses because I’ll be back later and I can’t wait to see you….
Ilove you! P.S. Give your noble steed a cuddle from me!” Lauren
frowned at the last sentence, unsure what Camila meant until she
felt Jasper trudge across her lap, craving her attention. She smiled
at her girlfriend’s quirkiness and switched her computer off,
placing it to the side out of the way before picking up the dog
pawing at her chest and kissing him softly on the jowl. “Mama
says morning,” she told Jasper, cuddling him close into her
shoulder for an instant before placing him back down on to the
bed and getting up in order to ready herself for school, which
dragged painfully slowly from the moment she’d stepped foot on
the campus, every second seeming more like an hour.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 2/13 For the first time in four weeks
Lauren found the school day passing slowly, her anticipation for it
to be over, for the weekend to begin, making her decidedly
irritable. All she wanted was to hear the final bell and get to go
home and see Camila, who, she’d not heard from yet today
except for the message that she’d left tacked to her bedroom wall
when Lauren had woken to find her gone. Lauren knew that
Camila had one final therapy session this morning and that she
would likely be busy packing up her things in preparation to
 return home, but, she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a
little bit affronted at the lack of contact. Lauren was sat in home
room waiting for Ally and Dinah to arrive, feeling as though she’d
been imprisoned in school for days rather than the mere hour
she’d actually been there, her mood despondent and her
motivation for the rest of the day seriously lacking. “Smile Lo,”
Ally greeted laughing as she observed the sullen look on her
friend’s face, the way Lauren was resting the side of her head in
one hand moodily. Ally slid in to the chair beside her, Dinah
entering the classroom a moment later and sitting at the desk in
front of them both. “This day is going so slowly,” Lauren
complained, sighing loudly in response to Ally’s comment. “I don’t
think I’ll smile until it’s over.” “Oh come on,” Ally said cheerfully.
“Isn’t Camila back later? I thought that you’d be bouncing off the
walls today.” “Yeah,” Dinah agreed with an amused expression on
her face. “Especially as this time she’s back to stay.” “She is?” Ally
asked her face lighting up at the revelation. “That’s amazing!” she
exclaimed, hitting Lauren on the arm when her friend continued
to sulk. “Right?” “No it is,” Lauren confirmed lifting her head and
sitting up straight as Miss Lovato entered the room and made her
way down to the front of the class, descending in to the chair
behind her desk and leafing through some papers there. “I just
wish that the day was already over so that I could see her. It’s
going to be torture waiting for this afternoon to finally get here.”
“Aww…” Dinah said, lifting her phone out of her pocket and
 fiddling with it in her hands, her fingers tapping the screen softly
as she typed a text message. “I always forget how adorable you
two are when you talk about each other until I hear it with my
own ears again. I swear that the two of you could spend every
second of every day together and you’d both still think it wasn’t
enough time. God, I’ve missed Camren.” She commented,
exhaling wistfully. “My ship is finally going to be back together
properly. I think I’m going to die…” “Shut up,” Lauren laughed,
hitting Dinah playfully on the arm. “You’re such an idiot. Why do
you always have to joke about us like that?” “Uh, excuse you.”
Dinah chuckled, lifting one hand up in protest. “I’m not joking.”
“She’s actually isn’t,” Ally agreed, pointing at Dinah with both her
index fingers, her hands entwined together as she leant on her
elbows. “You should hear how she talks about the two of you with
me and Normani when you’re not around.” “Why?” Lauren asked
entertained. “What do you say about us?” Dinah didn’t answer,
instead watching as Lauren’s phone lit up on the desk, evidently
receiving a new message. Lauren picked it up, her face exploding
in to a wide grin as she read the text. “Don’t be moody babe.
Smile. I love you x P.S. You’re pretty when you’re sleeping. P.P.S. I
tripped over a chair this morning but still didn’t wake you up…just
thought I’d let you know ;)” “Do I even need to ask who that’s
from?” Ally questioned, already knowing the answer. “It’s Camz,”
Lauren said, her tone happy, the mood she was in only moments
ago quickly vanishing. “Well duh,” Dinah responded laughing. “No
 one else can put a smile like that on Lauren’s face with only a
couple of measly words.” “You text her didn’t you?” Lauren
chuckled, shaking her head at Dinah’s meddling.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 3/13 “Of course I did,” Dinah replied
appearing slightly offended that Lauren had even felt the need to
question her involvement. “I don’t think I could have looked at
your grumpy face all period. It was bringing me down.” Dinah
paused for a moment and leaned back in her chair as Lauren
replied to Camila’s text quickly, “Dork…I guess my ninja skills have
worn off on you :p” “I don’t know why you didn’t just text her
yourself,” Dinah commented, tapping her fingertips on Lauren’s
desk lightly. “She would have answered you know.” “I thought she
was in therapy,” Lauren told Dinah truthfully. “I didn’t want to
disturb her.” “She would have text you back eventually.” Dinah
replied waving her hand dismissively. “Bother the crap out of her.
It’s not like she’s at school today…unlike us…” “You know she’s
actually a little bit ahead of us in school now,” Lauren
commented, propping her head up in her hand as she leant on her
elbow. “After all the time Camila spent worrying over whether or
not she’d graduate this year and she’s further along in her school
work then us. Can you believe that?” she finished rhetorically,
laughing to herself a little because of how misplaced Camila’s
concerns had been. “I mean, everyone knows she’s smart except
her.” “She’s kind of an idiot that way,” Dinah noted amused and
 Lauren smiled at her clever use of irony. “Is she coming back to
school next week?” Ally asked Lauren. “No,” the brunette
answered, shaking her head sadly, “she’s going to finish the rest
of the year in virtual school at home.” “Are you ok with that?” Ally
questioned. “Yeah,” Lauren replied honestly. “We’ve talked about
it a lot over the last few weeks and it’s the best thing for her.
She’s doing so much better in her assignments and tests now. As
much as I’d love for her to come back I can’t be that selfish.” “So
what are we all doing tonight to celebrate the little dweebs
return?” Dinah asked enthusiastically. “We could go to Jimmy’s?”
Ally suggested. “You guys go to Jimmy’s,” Lauren said sliding both
her hands forward and hooking them over the edge of her desk
for a moment whilst she stretched. “Camila and I already have
plans.” “What?” Dinah asked in disbelief. “You’re excluding us
from this momentous occasion? I mean, it’s not every day that
your best friend comes home from rehab, you know.” She
complained. “I’m sure whatever you’re doing there’s enough
space for the rest of us to tag along too.” She finished pointing
between herself and Ally. “Ugh Dinah,” Ally started, the smaller
girl having understood Lauren’s intimation almost immediately.
“Please?” Dinah protested cutting Ally off and continuing
regardless. “Mila is my best friend and she’s been locked away in
some treatment facility because she had a hard time dealing with
the fact that she almost died…well, a couple of times, and, you
know, because she hates that she trips over her own feet every
now and again, or completely loses the ability to speak…but, she’s
fucking better now and I want to celebrate that.” “Ok,” Lauren
pondered, as though she were actually giving Dinah’s words some
serious thought. “You can come and hang out with me and Camz,”
she agreed, “but…I feel like I should warn you that we plan on
having sex so, if you’re not happy to join in then I suppose it’d
probably be ok for you to watch. I mean, I can’t personally see it
but Camz was saying how she thought you were hot the other day
so I’m sure she’d be happy for you to come too…” “Oh God,
eww…ok…enough,” Dinah stuttered, putting her hands up in front
of her to silence Lauren. “Jesus Lauren all you had to say was that
you wanted some alone time together. No need for the
uncomfortable threesome suggestion.” “Just think about it,”
Lauren said playfully, winking at the taller girl who made a
worried face in return. “Like I said, Ithink Camz would be keen.”
“I’m just…yeah, I’m going to go and sit over here now,” Dinah
said, picking up her bag and moving over towards an empty desk
across the room.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 4/13 Lauren and Ally laughed as she
left and Dinah paused for a brief moment. “I’m going to need you
not to talk to me for a couple of hours,” Dinah informed Lauren
lightheartedly. “This just got weird and I’m going to need a
moment before I can look at you in the same way again.” “If you
change your mind Dinah just let me know,” Lauren said, struggling
 to stifle her amusement and lifting her eyebrow suggestively.
“You can send me a text if you want….just put #Lo’sHo and I’ll
know what you mean.” “I’ll be over there,” Dinah said blithely as
she made her way to the other side of the class and sat down.
“You’re so mean,” Ally scolded her friend playfully. “She’s actually
really missed Camila you know. You weren’t the only person that
had to adapt to her being gone.” “I’m only messing with her like
she does with me,” Lauren replied. “She knows I’m just joking.
She’s not even really upset.” She pointed out, gesturing over to
where Dinah sat watching the pair of them; a smile plastered on
her face as she text someone from her phone. “See?” “I don’t
mean in regards to this,” Ally clarified. “I think we all know that
your offer of a threesome wasn’t real. I’m talking about Dinah
wanting to celebrate Camila’s homecoming.” “What do you want
me to do?” Lauren asked. “Camz and I haven’t been together for
ten weeks and my house will be empty. Do you know how rare it
is for us to have somewhere that we can just be alone? Where we
don’t have to worry about being disturbed?” “Lauren I’m not
asking you to change your plans or anything.” Ally laughed. “I
mean, please, go and have sex with your girlfriend. In fact,” she
said as an afterthought, “do it twice if you want, heck, three times
even. You guys deserve to enjoy yourselves after everything
you’ve been through…” “Ok, I think I might have to go and join
Dinah in a minute,” Lauren said, feeling a little uncomfortable at
Ally’s encouragement. Ally rolled her eyes at Lauren’s comment.
 “You and Camila won’t have the house to yourself all evening,”
Ally noted pragmatically. “So, why don’t you arrange to meet us
for dinner later, you know, once you’ve finished what you have
planned?” She suggested. “You’ll probably be hungry by then
anyway.” She added teasingly. “Ally!” Lauren laughed. “What?”
she asked amused. “You will. At least, if you’re doing it right you
will be.” She concluded, wiggling her eyebrows cheekily. “Fine,”
Lauren chuckled. “I’ll see what Camz thinks but, I’m not promising
you anything.” She informed the smaller girl. “Camz is seriously,
and I mean, seriously, frustrated Ally. Well, that and…other
things.” She added thoughtfully, recalling her girlfriend’s
confession from last night regarding her fear of this reality not
existing outside of her own mind. “We just need some time to be
alone. Is that selfish?” “No it’s not selfish,” Ally reassured her.
“Just, think about it alright? For Dinah?” Lauren glanced over to
where the other girl was sitting. She still had her phone in her
hand and was apparently reading something on the screen. “I’ll
text Camz now,” Lauren said, picking up her phone to find that
she had a new message. “I thought I told you not to kiss any other
princesses before I got home later? Now I hear that we’re having
a threesome with Dinah?!?!?!? WTF??!” Lauren whipped her head
round to look at Dinah who was wearing an enormous smirk on
her face. She was watching Lauren closely and lifted her hand up,
wiggling her fingers at the brunette as she leant back in her chair,
looking more than a little bit smug. “Well played Dinah,” Lauren
muttered under her breath, shaking her head at the other girl and
glaring at her pointedly as she received another message from her
girlfriend, who she still hadn’t replied to. “Lauren?! WTF is going
on?” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trials-
andtribulationschapter50part3 5/13 Lauren traced her finger
across her throat and pointed at Dinah who visibly chuckled at the
threat, irritating the brunette even further. “It’s nothing babe, just
Dinah messing around…ignore her x” She went to put her phone
back down but almost as soon as the message had sent Lauren
received another one, this time from Dinah.
“Muahahahahahaha…..” “I’m going to kill Dinah,” Lauren
complained flashing Ally the message she’d just received from her
and then displaying the ones she’d gotten from her girlfriend.
“Don’t start something with her,” Ally warned. “She’ll kick your
ass every time Lo.” “I…” Lauren began but she stopped abruptly as
another text message came through. “YOU SHOWED HER THE
NAKED SELFIE I SENT YOU?!?!?!?!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
LAUREN!!!” “Dinah are you fucking kidding me?” Lauren shouted
across the room, not sure how the other girl had known about the
picture but positive she’d never seen it. “Lauren,” Miss Lovato
scolded loudly from her seat at the front of the room. “What have
Itold you about cursing? Come and see me after class.” “Yes
miss,” Lauren groaned, turning towards Dinah who was giving her
an apologetic look and scowling at her unamused. She shook her
head and turned her attention back to her phone, trying to rectify
 the misunderstanding with Camila. “Camz babe, she’s just
messing with you I promise. I’ve not shown her anything! I’ve
never even mentioned it to her!” Lauren tapped her fingertips on
her desk anxiously as she waited for Camila’s response, holding
her breath as she opened the message when it appeared a few
minutes later. “I JUST SENT HER YOUR SELFIE! I’M SO SORRY!”
Lauren whipped her head round to look at Dinah who was
avoiding the brunette’s gaze and staring at something on her
phone in front of her. She felt her heart leap in to her chest as she
text Camila back. “Camz! Are you serious?! Why the hell would
you do that?!” Lauren glanced back over at Dinah who had put
her phone on the desk in front of her, a horrified expression on
her face as she pushed it away from her deliberately. “Haha, I
haven’t really. We’re just playing with you. See you later. P.S. Just
for the record, Dinah is definitely not invited ;) x” Lauren rolled
her eyes momentarily before looking back towards Dinah who
was once again looking in her direction, the same amused smirk
from earlier on her face. “Camz, I just got in trouble with Miss
Lovato because of you two idiots! I have to see her after class!”
Lauren watched as Dinah stood up and came back over to her
original seat, descending in to it slowly and turning around to face
the green eyed girl just as she received another message from her
girlfriend. “Say ‘Hi’ to her for me!J” Lauren rolled her eyes at the
response but chuckled at her girlfriends’ response despite herself.
“Ugh, it’s a good thing you’re cute and I love you. I can’t wait to
 see you later babe. Have a safe journey x” She placed her phone
back on the desk and turned to Dinah. “If this is what you two are
going to be like now that Camz is coming back I think I might have
to kill you.” Lauren told Dinah, keeping her tone as serious as she
could manage, her face breaking out in to a wide grin and
betraying her almost instantly. Dinah didn’t say anything in
response; instead choosing to just smile at Lauren, evidently
amused at her own antics and delighted at the prospect of joking
around with
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 6/13 Camila again liked they’d used to
do. Dinah turned back around to face the front of the class when
Miss Lovato stood up to address the assembled group, obviously
remembering some announcements that she had to share with
them. The rest of the school day continued to drag on endlessly
for Lauren, every new class seeming to last even longer than the
one previously, but eventually, the blissful sound of the final bell
chimed and Lauren practically jumped out of her seat, running to
her locker in order to collect the things which she’d need over the
weekend. “Going somewhere in a hurry?” Normani asked as she
came up alongside Lauren’s locker, Ally and Dinah in tow. “I’m
going to pick Camz up from her house and then we’re going over
to mine,” Lauren told her, putting her biology book in to her bag
and closing her locker forcefully, twisting the combination a little
and pulling on the door once to check it wasn’t still open. “You’re
picking her up?” Dinah asked confused, hugging some books in to
her chest. “Yeah,” Lauren said, zipping up her bag and flinging it
over her shoulder. “You know she’s waiting outside the gates with
Jasper right now don’t you?” Normani asked Lauren. “What?”
Lauren asked surprised. “How do you know that?” “She text us
all.” Ally answered. “Haven’t you checked your phone?” “No,”
Lauren admitted, reaching in to her pocket and taking out the
small device. She scrolled through Camila’s message briefly, a
large smile on her lips and then pushed past the others as she
rushed to meet up with her girlfriend. “Oh God, this is going to be
good.” Dinah commented as she watched Lauren go and ushered
Ally and Normani after the brunette hurriedly, eager to see the
reunion between her and Camila in person, sensing that it would
be worthwhile not to miss it. “They saw each other two days ago,”
Normani laughed at Dinah’s impatience but followed after Lauren
regardless. “It’s not like they haven’t seen each other for a year or
anything….” “Shh…” Dinah silenced agitated as she stood on her
tip toes, trying to keep an eye on the back of Lauren’s head as she
weaved along the hallway, avoiding the mass of students and
disappearing out of the door and in to the fresh air beyond.
“We’re going to miss it if we don’t hurry up.” She grabbed hold of
Normani’s hand and pulled her forward quickly, dragging her
friend along the corridor swiftly and Normani reached for Ally’s
hand so that they didn’t lose the smaller girl in the crowd. With
Dinah’s persistence, the rest of the girls caught up to Lauren just
 as she came to a stop in front of Camila, who was standing
outside the school gates with a happy expression on her face,
Jasper sat at her feet and his leash wrapped loosely around her
hand. “Hi,” she greeted Lauren, smiling brightly at her girlfriend
who stood in front of her not moving. “You’re not mad at me
about earlier are you?” Camila asked her uncertainly. “It was only
meant to be a joke because Dinah said that you were in a bad
mood and I wanted to cheer you up,” she explained. “I went to
your house and picked Jasper up when I got home at lunch,”
Camila continued when Lauren said nothing. “I hope you don’t
mind, but I wanted to walk him down here to surprise you.” She
rambled. “So….here we are…” Camila said tentatively, biting the
inside of her cheek nervously. “Surprise.” She finished, her face
hesitant as a result of Lauren’s continued silence. “I thought I was
picking you up?” Lauren breathed, exhaling loudly as her eyes
roamed her girlfriend’s body, admiring her small form in its
entirety. “Didn’t you hear what I said about the surprise?” Camila
asked and the corner of Lauren’s mouth turned up in to a smile.
“No,” she admitted, taking a step closer to Camila. “I couldn’t hear
anything that you were saying over the pounding of my heart and
the rush of blood in my ears.” “Oh,” Camila said, not sure how to
respond to that. “Well, I said that I hope you’re not mad….” She
began but Lauren shook her head from side to side, completely in
awe of how adorable her girlfriend was and closed the distance
between them in one abrupt
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 7/13 movement, crashing their lips
together hungrily, her arms finding their way around Camila’s
waist as though they were attracted by a magnetic field. Lauren
pulled Camila into her, pushing their hips into one another, her
tongue probing the deep cavern of the smaller girl’s mouth.
Lauren moaned as she felt Camila reciprocate the action, her
girlfriend sucking gently on her bottom lip, her free hand reaching
up to rest on the back of Lauren’s head, pulling it closer to her
own as she lightly sucked on Lauren’s tongue, making the
greeneyed girl feel dizzy. “I’m not mad,” Lauren wheezed, trying
to catch her breath after they’d separated, her chest heaving
rapidly as her lungs tried to draw in adequate amounts of oxygen.
“I’ve missed you,” Camila gasped between breaths, her free hand
sliding around to cup the side of Lauren’s cheek, caressing it
softly. She moved her fingertips across Lauren’s skin, tracing her
features, from her brow to her jaw, lightly brushing them across
Lauren’s mouth as her eyes took in her girlfriends face, studying it
carefully. Camila ran the hand that held Jasper’s leash up and
down Lauren’s other arm for a moment and moved it across to
stroke her girlfriends’ side, her stomach, a sense of urgency in
every small touch as she used the only sense she trusted to
confirm Lauren’s physical existence. Camila smiled as she placed
her hand over Lauren’s heart and felt it beating beneath her
fingers, inhaling deeply as she flattened the palm of her hand into
 her girlfriend’s ribcage in order to sense it better, her left hand
intermittently experiencing pins and needles as it always did.
Lauren took Camila’s left hand in her own and lifted it to her lips,
planting a soft kiss to the back of it briefly. She moved forwards
again, bringing their mouths back together, kissing Camila, softly
at first but deepening it quickly, eager to allay Camila’s mistrust in
her own mind, desperate to prove that she was real, that they
were together once again. “Please don’t ever leave me again,”
Lauren requested, separating their mouths and resting her
forehead against Camila’s as she spoke, her lips delicately
touching a spot on Camila’s temple. “Never,” Camila promised
and Lauren smiled, tilting her head to kiss her girlfriends’ mouth
once again. They parted when they heard Dinah clear her throat
meaningfully to their right and Camila’s grin widened at the sight
of her best friend who managed to look both pleased at their
interaction and annoyed at the same time. “What are we
invisible?” Dinah asked lightheartedly, a smile on her face. “No
you’re too loud for that,” Camila laughed, stepping forward and
hugging her best friend tightly in her arms. Dinah squeezed the
smaller girl happily, lifting her up off the floor a little so that her
feet were hovering in midair. “Oh my God, Dinah!” Camila
laughed, not trusting the taller girl not to drop her and clinging on
to Dinah’s shoulder for dear life. “Jesus Christ Mila, you’re heavier
than I remember,” Dinah started chuckling as she lowered her
back to the floor carefully and released her from her grasp. “You
 know, now that you’re back I don’t even know why I’ve missed
you so much…” she commented dismissively. “I mean, you’re not
funny or anything…your jokes are actually terrible; you can’t
dance and you eat all the food in a four mile radius. In fact, I was
actually allowed to hang out with all the cool kids when you
weren’t around…” “How is Regina?” Camila asked her playfully
and Dinah hit her on the upper arm in response to her teasing.
“I’m kind of jealous. She is pretty cool. Well, cooler than you at
least.” “You’re such an idiot,” Dinah said shaking her head
amused. “Why am I even your friend? I’m pretty sure my IQ drops
fifty points with you around.” “Did you even have the fifty points
to spare?” Camila asked her and Dinah hit her again before pulling
her in to another warm embrace. “You’re such a loser,” Dinah
muttered but Camila and everyone else knew what she was really
saying. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trials-
andtribulationschapter50part3 8/13 “Ilove you too,” Camila told
her squeezing Dinah tightly in her arms. Dinah relaxed her hold on
Camila and the smaller girl turned to Ally and Normani, hugging
the two of them respectively and sharing warm words with them
both as well. Lauren stepped up behind Camila when she’d
finished greeting everyone in the group, wrapping her arms
around her girlfriend’s stomach reflexively and resting her chin in
the crook of her neck as she rocked her gently from side to side.
Camila dropped one hand to where Lauren’s rested and held
them in place as Lauren kissed the side of her neck for a brief
 second. “Ok, so we’ll catch up with you guys later?” Dinah asked
wishing to give the two of them the alone time that they’d so
desperately been craving. “Jimmy’s at seven,” Lauren confirmed,
nodding her head in reply. “We’ll be there.” “I’ll get some hot
wings in,” Dinah said to Camila and the smaller girl smiled
brightly. “I’ll prepare my winner’s speech then,” she responded
confident in her ability to defend her current champion status in
their ongoing challenge. “I wouldn’t bother,” Dinah laughed. “I’m
going to beat you for a change. Don’t think I’ll go easy on you just
because it’s the first day you’re officially home.” “Oh, is that what
you’ve been doing all this time? Going easy on me?” she asked
amused. “Well, then game on Hansen. Show me what you’ve
got.” “I will,” Dinah replied, defiance in her voice. “We’re all
heading there a bit earlier so we’ll save you guys a seat,” Ally
informed them. “Have a good time.” She added, lifting one
eyebrow meaningfully at the pair of them. “Just the one?” Camila
asked flippantly. “That’s probably all you’ll need,” Normani
commented, jokily. “I have a sneaking suspicion that the two of
you will be joined at the hip now that you’re in the same
geographical location again.” “So, shall I sit on your lap or are you
going to sit on mine?” Camila asked Lauren playfully, spinning
around slightly in her girlfriend’s arms to meet her gaze. “Right on
that note I’m going,” Dinah said pointedly. “I’m driving.” Ally
agreed stepping over to Dinah. “Yeah and Ijust feel awkward so,
I’m going with them,” Normani chuckled. The three of them
 waved goodbye and made their way over to Ally’s car,
disappearing into the crowd of students who were still vacating
the school. “This was a nice surprise,” Lauren said, resting her chin
on Camila’s shoulder again and tightening her hold on her
girlfriend’s waist. “I would have picked you up you know?” “Yeah,
but I wanted to see Jasper so I picked him up early. Besides, he
needed a walk today anyway so I thought I’d kill two birds with
one stone.” Camila replied; resting her head against Lauren’s as
she held her. “You know I could probably get used to this,” she
noted releasing Camila from her grasp and bending down to greet
Jasper who was sat on the pavement waiting, Camila crouching
down beside them as well. “What do you think Jasper?” Lauren
asked him, scratching the small puppy behind his ear as he
accosted her enthusiastically. “Should mama walk you to meet me
after school every day?” “Do you want me too?” Camila asked
her, picking up Jasper in her arms and tucking him into the crook
of her elbow as Lauren took her free hand in her own,
intertwining their fingers as she started leading her towards her
car. “I would you know…” “Only if you want to,” Lauren replied
honestly not wanting Camila to feel obligated at her impromptu
suggestion. “It’s a relatively long walk…” “Yeah, but Jasper is still a
puppy so he needs a lot of exercise.” Camila interceded. “Plus, it’ll
get me out of the house. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be sick of the
sight of it in a week.” “Well, I would love it if you did,” Lauren told
her truthfully, pausing for a moment to kiss her on the lips
tenderly and then continuing on once again, “just let me know the
days that you are or else I’ll probably drive right past you.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 9/13 “Ok,” Camila agreed. “So…” she
started, halting where she stood. “What’s wrong?” Lauren asked,
stopping in her tracks at Camila’s abrupt cessation of movement
and conversation. “Are you alright?” she asked, following the
smaller girls’ eyes as they looked across the parking lot to find
what had caught her attention. A few feet away, Rachel and her
group of friends, including David were leaning against the blonde
girls’ car, watching the two of them closely with scathing looks
plastered across their faces. “Ignore them,” Lauren told her,
squeezing Camila’s hand reassuringly and tugging on it so that she
started following her once more. “They can’t do anything to hurt
you, not whilst Dinah and I are around.” She pledged. “I know that
what I did to Rachel was horrible but I apologised,” Camila said as
they continued towards Lauren’s car. “She looks like she wants to
kill me and David already hates me for getting him in trouble with
his dad…” “You’re not even going to be coming back to school,”
Lauren reminded her supportively. “They’re barely going to see
you, yet alone have the opportunity to do anything.” “Yeah you’re
right,” Camila acknowledged, trying to place a confident smile on
her face but failing somewhat. “Anyway, try not to think about it,”
Lauren instructed. “We’ve got other more enjoyable and pressing
issues to occupy us,” she said alluringly and Camila smiled. “Why
yes we have, haven’t we?” she answered. “How could Iforget?” “I
don’t know,” Lauren replied smiling brightly as she they came to a
stop at her car. “It might have something to do with your crappy
attention span since the accident.” Lauren unlocked her car,
opening the passenger door for Camila who placed Jasper on to
the seat inside for a moment and turned to face her girlfriend.
“My attention is better now though, just like my speech and my
fatigue…” Camila said happily, placing both her hands on Lauren’s
upper arms and rubbing them, reminding herself that her
girlfriend was real. “The only thing that will probably never get a
hundred percent better is my left hand.” “It just needs more
exercise,” Lauren suggested cheekily, her insinuation clear. “I
don’t believe it won’t recover.” “Did you really just say that?”
Camila laughed and Lauren wiggled her eyebrows seductively,
licking the inside of her bottom lip. “Camila?” A familiar voice
questioned from behind Lauren. Camila leant to the side to look
over Lauren’s shoulder at the owner of the voice, smiling warmly
when she saw Miss Lovato approaching the two of them a
delighted expression on her face. “Ithought it was you,” Miss
Lovato commented happily. “Hi,” Camila greeted, stepping past
Lauren to speak to her teacher, the taller girl twisting on the spot
to watch the exchange patiently. “What are you doing here?”
Miss Lovato asked her interestedly. “I was meeting Lauren,” she
answered, pointing to her girlfriend who smiled at Miss Lovato in
response to the one the teacher had given her. “So how are you?”
 Miss Lovato asked Camila. “I assume this means that you’re back
home now?” “Yeah,” Camila informed her. “I was discharged from
rehab today actually, but, I’ve been allowed day release for the
last month or so.” “Well, I’m pleased you’re back,” Miss Lovato
told her sincerely. “I was worried about you when I’d heard what
had happened. You look well.” She commented, her eyes studying
the youngster thoroughly. “I am,” Camila shared with her, the
smile never leaving her face. “I’m doing much better now. As
much as I was against it to begin with, rehab was the best thing
for me. I’m actually kind of glad I got forced in to going there.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 10/13 “So does this mean I’ll see you
back in class on Monday?” Miss Lovato asked her. “No,” Camila
replied sadly. “I’m going to finish out the rest of the year in virtual
school. I’ve been doing really well recently and I think it’d be a
shame to take a backwards step now that I’m finally moving
forwards.” “I think that sounds like a really sensible thing to do.”
Miss Lovato noted, pleased with Camila’s obvious progress. “I’ll
miss our tutoring sessions though.” She added thoughtfully, “but
I’m glad that you’re doing well enough not to need them any
longer.” “I don’t know about that,” Camila scoffed uncertainly,
glancing at Lauren. “You taught me so much. I don’t think that I’d
be where I am today without them.” Miss Lovato smiled at the
veiled compliment. “I’ll let you both go,” Miss Lovato said, not
wanting to hold the girls up. “I don’t want to keep you from the
 weekend, but, I just thought I’d come over and see how you’re
doing. Have a good weekend girls.” She said cheerfully, turning on
her heels and starting back in the direction of the school. “Miss
Lovato,” Camila called after her. “Wait a minute,” she requested
anxiously, hurrying after her. Miss Lovato stopped and turned
back around to face the youngster who was approaching her
quickly. “Yeah,” she said just as Camila threw her arms around the
teacher and hugged her gratefully. “Thank you,” Camila said
sincerely, as Miss Lovato reciprocated the hug. Camila stepped
back and released the teacher, her cheeks flushing profusely at
her sudden outburst. “I’m sorry,” she apologised, “I just…you’ve
done so much for me and I’ve never really thanked you for that.”
“It’s alright,” Miss Lovato reassured her, placing a hand on the
Camila’s shoulder supportively. “It was my pleasure,” she replied.
“Just seeing how far you’ve come since the start of the school
year is thanks enough.” “I hope that one day I can do for someone
else what you’ve done for me.” Camila shared with her. “You
never gave up on me and you were patient when I didn’t
understand what I was reading, or my attention roamed
elsewhere. You kept me on task and encouraged me to push on
when I sometimes wanted to give up. Your support meant a lot to
me… so, thank you.” She finished. “No thank you Camila,” Miss
Lovato countered. “You reminded me why I went in to teaching in
the first place.” She removed her hand from Camila’s shoulder
and smiled. “Keep up all the hard work,” Miss Lovato encouraged,
 “and I’ll see you again in the fall for senior year, ok?” “I will,”
Camila promised and Miss Lovato smiled before turning around
and returning in the direction of the school building. Camila spun
around to face Lauren who was still standing by the passenger
door of her car, watching her whilst wearing a pleased expression.
“How long have you wanted to do that for?” Lauren asked her
knowingly. “Say thank you?” Camila asked and Lauren nodded.
“Since the second week I was at rehab,” Camila divulged. “My
therapist made me reflect on all the positive influences in my life
and besides my friends and family, Miss Lovato used to come up a
lot. I never really realised how much she’d helped me until then.”
“I’m kind of jealous,” Lauren admitted, gesturing Camila in to the
car. She picked up Jasper as she descended in to the seat and
placed him on her lap as she watched Lauren who was leaning
against the edge of the open door. “Why?” Camila asked
confused.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66576677371/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part3 11/13 “I’ve had the biggest crush on
Miss Lovato for as long as I can remember and you just had a
legitimate reason to hug her.” Camila smiled at Lauren’s
admission as her girlfriend closed the door and made her way
around to the driver’s side, getting in quickly behind the wheel. “I
prefer hugging you though,” Camila told her, as Lauren buckled
her seat belt and turned the engine over. “That’s good,” Lauren
returned smiling, “because I foresee a lot of hugging in our
 immediate future.” “Is that all you see?” Camila asked feigning
slight disappointment. “Oh no,” Lauren said, seductively. “I see a
lot of other very enjoyable things, but I think it’ll be much easier
for me to show you them, rather than try to explain.” “Well then
in that case,” Camila smiled. “What are you waiting for?” Lauren
didn’t answer verbally, instead sliding the car into reverse and
pulling out of her parking space before shifting it into drive and
heading towards the exit and on to the street outside. Camila
moved her free hand on to Lauren’s knee, the other one holding
Jasper securely in her lap. Lauren took hold of it as she continued
to drive and played mindlessly with her girlfriends’ fingers as they
made their way back to Lauren’s house together
Chapter 50 part 4
A/N: Explicit. That is all. “Hello?” Lauren called loudly as she
stepped through the front door of her house, Camila following
closely behind her with Jasper in tow. “Anyone here?” she
shouted, a smile spreading across her features at the blissful
sound of silence that remained. “I thought you said everyone was
out?” Camila questioned, closing the front door carefully behind
her before crouching down to unhook Jasper’s lead, the small
puppy clambering off in to the kitchen to get some water as soon
as he’d been released. “They’re supposed to be,” Lauren replied,
throwing her bag on to the floor behind the front door, in front of
the coat stand, “but…” she trailed off as Camila followed Lauren’s
lead and dropped her bag cautiously down next to her girlfriend’s,
 stepping further in to the house as Lauren stuck her head first in
to the dining room and then the kitchen, checking through all the
downstairs rooms. “You can never be too careful,” Lauren
continued as she returned from checking the living room. She
stepped back over to Camila and wrapped her arms around the
smaller girl’s waist, pulling their hips together, one of her hands
sliding down to gently cup the Camila’s buttock. “So where are
they?” Camila asked interestedly, her hands enclosing around
Lauren’s neck. “My dad is working late and my mom is having
dinner with a friend,” Lauren said, biting her bottom lip to stop
herself from kissing Camila right then and there. “What about
Chris and Taylor?” Camila questioned with interest, her eyes fixed
on her girlfriend’s pointedly. “They’re over at friends,” Lauren
informed her, dropping her gaze to Camila’s lips and struggling to
resist the urge to take them in her own. “So we’re finally alone?”
Camila queried. “Just the two of us?” “Just the two of us,” Lauren
confirmed grinning widely. “Well the two of us and Jasper of
course.” “Of course,” Camila noted, smiling at Lauren’s inclusion
of the small canine who was now wandering back in to the
hallway and through to the dining room to sit in his usual spot
beneath the table, out of sight. “He’s family,” she commented.
“He’s allowed to be here. It’s not like he could tell anyone what
we get up to anyway…” “My family is family,” Lauren interceded
laughing at her girlfriend’s words. “They’re your family,” Camila
said kindly. “Jasper is our family.” “He’s your puppy,” Lauren
chuckled, rocking Camila slightly in her arms as she did so. “I don’t
know how my parents would feel about us sharing custody of him
longterm.” “Oh please,” Camila said, waving one of her hands
behind Lauren’s head. “Your parents love him, especially your
mom. I caught her talking to him when I came by to pick him up
earlier, she was being all cutesy.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 2/11 “Cutesy?” Lauren questioned
laughing at Camila’s choice of word and struggling to imagine her
mom behaving in that manner. “Yeah cutesy,” Camila clarified
smiling brightly. “You know, like you…” “I’m not cutesy,” Lauren
complained cutting her off and furrowing her brow. “When have I
ever acted cutesy?” “You’re like it all the time,” Camila informed
her happily. “Give me one example,” Lauren requested
interestedly. “Ok,” Camila said, her raspy tone dropping
seductively. “You act ‘cutesy’ when you call me babe.” “That’s not
a good example,” Lauren protested and Camila rolled her eyes.
“Yes it is,” She argued. “It’s a perfect example.” “Give me another
example,” Lauren urged, not believing that she’d ever once acted
‘cutesy,’ her brain for some reason not wanting to be associated
with the word, seeing only negative connotations of weakness
and over femininity. “How about I give you five?” Camila asked
with a challenging tone to her voice. “Alright,” Lauren replied,
lifting her head readily. “One,” Camila said, leaning a little closer
to Lauren, “when you used to carry my bag for me to class.” “That
 was me being helpful,” Lauren said stubbornly. “Two is the way
that you always trace the scar above my left eye with your
fingertips,” Camila continued unfazed by Lauren’s denial of her
own behaviour. “That’s just…” Lauren began but she stopped,
unable to think of a single valid reason as to why she did that, the
habit coming reflexively, her hand drawn to the spot on her
girlfriend’s forehead out of some primal and unexplained desire
to touch it. Camila raised her eyebrow knowingly when Lauren
didn’t continue and went on listing her examples. “Three is the
way that you always laugh at my jokes even though they aren’t
actually funny,” Camila informed her. “That is not cutesy,” Lauren
responded. “I just don’t want to hurt your feelings, that’s all.”
“Yeah, but that’s cute.” Camila said smiling. “Cute maybe,” Lauren
conceded, “But not cutesy.” “They’re the same thing,” Camila told
her and Lauren rolled her eyes at this revelation. “Four,” she
persisted, leaning forward to whisper in her girlfriend’s ear,
“when you tell me all about your imaginary plans for our future.”
Lauren swallowed hard as Camila moved her lips to delicately kiss
the spot where Lauren’s jaw met her neck. “What’s the fifth
example?” Lauren asked; closing her eyes as Camila’s lips traced
lightly down the taller girls’ jaw and to the hollow of her neck.
“Five,” Camila muttered against Lauren’s skin, her breath tickling
the flesh there gratifyingly. “When you’d put my feelings and our
friendship first by denying yourself the simple luxury of telling me
that you liked me, even though that was the one thing that you
 wished you could do more than anything else.” “How do you
know about that?” Lauren asked her, shivering slightly as Camila’s
mouth trailed a path of kisses back along her jaw and towards her
ear, one of the smaller girl’s arms stroking Lauren’s side
affectionately. “Dinah might have mentioned something,” Camila
told her truthfully, sucking on Lauren’s ear lobe for a moment
teasingly, “and Ally,” she exhaled breathily into her girlfriends’
ear, the hand wandering Lauren’s flank and slipping up
underneath her shirt to caress her stomach lightly. “Normani
too.” She finished, lowering her mouth to kiss Lauren’s partially
exposed collar bone.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 3/11 “What did they tell you?” Lauren
asked trying to be annoyed at her friends for their communication
with Camila regarding her past crush, back before they’d officially
started dating. Camila lifted her head and smiled at Lauren, raising
one hand to stroke at her brow lovingly. “Enough,” she answered
and Lauren couldn’t help but return Camila’s grin. “You loved me
even then didn’t you?” “You know that I did,” Lauren answered
and Camila tilted her head forward to take Lauren’s lips in her
own gently. “I can’t believe it took me so long to finally see it,”
Camila shared with Lauren when they parted. “It literally took you
telling me before I even had any idea how you felt. I was so
oblivious…” “It’s alright Camz,” Lauren said, one of the hands
which was still resting comfortably in the small of Camila’s back
 moving up to rest against the smaller girls’ cheek, her thumb
rubbing the soft skin there soothingly. “I think I actually always
felt it,” Camila divulged honestly. “There was just something
different about you Lauren, about the way that I would feel when
you were around. It wasn’t the same as Ifelt with the other girls.
You were special…” The arm that Camila still had draped around
Lauren’s neck moved down to mirror its counterpart, both hands
settling on the taller girl’s ribs and pulling her closer to her. “I’m
sorry you had to wait so long, I always was a bit slow off the
mark,” Camila said a little selfdeprecatingly, her lips lingering
mere centimetres from Lauren’s, her dark chocolate eyes fixed on
her girlfriend’s piercing green orbs. “It took the thought of
possibly losing you to make me realise how I really felt,” she
acknowledged. “I was completely clueless about how much I liked
you,” she smiled, pressing her lips even closer to Lauren’s. “My
conscious totally refused to admit what my subconscious already
knew,” she continued. “My brain recognised that I thought of you
as more than just a friend but you gave it the jolt it needed to
finally tell me, so that I knew.” She laughed lightly. “How
ridiculous is that?” she asked amused, her head moving back as
she laughed at herself. “I was so impaired back then that even I
didn’t know what I was thinking?” “You should stop talking,”
Lauren prompted her, moving her thumb down to brush lightly
over Camila’s lips, “Just for a minute.” “Why?” Camila mumbled
against Lauren’s digit, her eyes never leaving her girlfriend’s.
 “You’re rambling,” she said, the corner of her mouth turning up,
entertained. “I’m rambling?” Camila asked, the idea of staying
silent for even one second escaping her completely. “Yes,” Lauren
answered, chuckling lightly. “You are,” she confirmed. Camila
tilted her head back slightly. “Ithought you liked it when we
talked?” Camila questioned her. “I do,” Lauren admitted. “You
have a unique way with words Camz,” she shared with her.
“Sometimes Ithink that I could listen to you talk all day about
absolutely nothing of any importance and it’d still be the best use
of my time.” “Not now though?” Camila asked as Lauren moved
her thumb to gently rub along Camila’s jaw line. “No, not now,”
Lauren answered, running her tongue between her lips, her eyes
looking at Camila’s mouth wantonly. “Yeah, but I’m trying to tell
you something important…” Camila started. Lauren shook her
head at her girlfriend’s words, fascinated at Camila’s constant
need to talk and almost certain that it stemmed from the fact that
she’d found it so difficult to do initially after the accident. “So am
I,” Lauren said meaningfully, cutting her off, but Camila
completely missed the insinuation and carried on regardless.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 4/11 “Lauren, back then I…” Camila
pressed on, but this time Lauren didn’t let her continue, instead
using the only method that she knew would work in order to get
her girlfriend to remain silent for more than a millisecond.
Forcefully, Lauren crashed their lips together, pushing Camila back
against the door hard, her hips crushing the smaller girls between
them and the solid surface behind her. One of Lauren’s hands
rested heavily against Camila’s chest, holding her still against the
white panelling of the door whilst the other one moved down her
girlfriend’s right side to rest gently on her hip. Lauren licked the
entrance to Camila’s mouth and the smaller girl opened it willingly
allowing her girlfriend to dart her tongue inside, Camila moaning
pleasurably in response as Lauren deepened the kiss hungrily.
Camila’s hands caressed Lauren’s back, roaming the expanse of it,
pushing her shirt up unworriedly as the green eyed girl sucked
teasingly on her tongue. “Lauren…” Camila panted when Lauren
finally released her mouth in order to catch her breath. “Stop
talking,” Lauren repeated her command from earlier, pushing her
lips back against Camila’s swollen ones and engaging their
tongues once again in the now familiar battle for dominance,
pressing her hips powerfully against the smaller girls whose hands
were still wandering her back enthusiastically. “Mmm…kay,”
Camila mumbled almost incoherently against Lauren’s mouth, her
hands lowering to the bottom of Lauren’s shirt and pulling it up in
an attempt to remove it, failing miserably, the fabric clinging
tightly to her girlfriend’s body. Lauren moved back a little as
Camila’s hands moved around to the front of her girlfriend’s top,
her fingers trying to unfasten the buttons which ran the length of
Lauren’s torso, but struggling, the dexterity in her left hand not
recovered enough to be able to undo them quickly. “Shit,” Camila
cursed, inhaling large, deep breaths, her chest heaving violently as
she tried to fill her lungs with oxygen, her fingers still fumbling
with the buttons unsuccessfully. Lauren saw Camila scrunch up
her nose, her brow creasing in to a frown, her attention fixed
firmly on the task at hand. “Here…” Lauren started, lifting her
hands to help, eager for Camila to be finished so that she could
crash their lips together again. “Fuck it,” Camila cursed again, not
wanting to seem incapable and Lauren couldn’t help but feel
aroused by her girlfriends’ use of profanity as Camila’s small
hands held on to the front of her shirt, one either side of the
parting as she pulled the fabric decisively in opposite directions,
popping the buttons there indifferently, almost instantly solving
her problem. “Jesus Camz,” Lauren commented, pushing her
girlfriend back against the door as Camila pulled the shirt off
Lauren’s shoulders and forced it down on to her upper arms.
“Was that really necessary?” Lauren laughed, bringing her arms
back and pulling them out of the sleeves as Camila tugged the
shirt off her fully, tossing it aside. “Yes,” she answered breathily,
reaching up to grasp the back of Lauren’s neck and bringing their
mouths together once more, her other hand wrapping around the
taller girls’ waist, over her white tank top, as she drew their hips
back together. Lauren sucked enticingly on Camila’s bottom lip as
she bought her head back out of her girlfriend’s reach to look in to
her dark eyes, the pupils there dilated as they returned the gaze
unflinchingly. “We should go upstairs,” Lauren said and Camila
shook her head. “We should stay here,” she responded, no hint of
a joke in her voice as she tried to connect their mouths once
more, Lauren moving back out of her reach teasingly. “No we
should definitely go upstairs,” Lauren repeated, reaching down to
grasp Camila’s hand in her own and turning as though to make a
move upstairs. Camila used the lever to pull Lauren back in to her
again, leaning her weight back against the door as her tongue
wasted no time in exploring the deep cavern of the green eyed
girls’ mouth, their lips meeting each other’s in a slow dance, the
speed quickening with Camila’s eagerness.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 5/11 Lauren smiled against Camila’s
mouth, using every ounce of willpower in her body to withdraw
from her girlfriends’ hold and part them once again. “I’m going
upstairs,” Lauren told her pointedly, pulling gently on Camila’s
arm using their still entwined hands. This time, Camila allowed
herself to be led, one step at a time, up to the next level of the
house, Lauren picking up pace as they reached the landing, the
tall girl guiding Camila in to her bedroom hurriedly. Lauren
followed after her, kicking the door closed behind them and found
herself almost instantly being thrown down atop the plush duvet
by the smaller girl, her back sinking in to the bed as Camila
crawled on top of her and pushed their lips together fervently.
Lauren felt Camila’s hands everywhere as they wandered her
flesh, she was like a blind man trying to read braille, fondling first
 her neck and slowly making a path down her body, one hand
coming to settle over the soft flesh of Lauren’s breast, the other
sliding down to the top of Lauren’s jeans and stroking the skin
there delicately, making Lauren’s hips lurch forward and her flesh
quiver in response. She sat up slightly, pushing Camila back on to
her knees, their mouths still battling one another ravenously as
she reached down to extract her own tank top from her body,
their lips parting for an instant as she lifted it up and over her
head, throwing it to the floor beside the bed just as she felt
Camila’s weight press in to her once again. Camila moved her
mouth to trace light kisses along the crook of Lauren’s neck again
as she had earlier, her lips leaving a light tingling in their wake as
they passed the hollow at the front and came to settle at the top
of her sternum. She felt Lauren’s hands tug firmly on the bottom
of her sweater, keen to remove it and Camila sat up again, her
arms lifting above her head to allow the taller girl to rid her of
both this obstruction and the tshirt beneath it in one single
motion. “God, I missed this,” Camila said biting her bottom lip and
studying Lauren’s seminaked form beneath her appreciatively, the
other girl using her hands to prop herself up, Camila’s knees
resting either side of one of her legs, one pressing softly against
Lauren’s crotch. Lauren lifted her hands to rub small gentle circles
against Camila’s stomach, the muscles reacting immediately to
her touch, tensing beneath her finger tips as she sat herself up
further, one hand reaching behind Camila’s back to steady herself
as she kissed the centre of the smaller girls’ chest above her scar.
“Don’t,” Camila pleaded, still selfconscious, still not used to
anyone finding her imperfections beautiful. Lauren didn’t respond
verbally but continued to plant soft loving kisses along the length
of Camila’s scar, down the now permanent reminder of how she’d
fought for her life and won. “Please stop,” Camila requested and
Lauren’s hand settled on top of the scar on Camila’s left flank,
rubbing it comfortingly as she persisted with the attention she
was giving her girlfriend’s sternum. “Lauren…” “No,” Lauren
argued, kissing the firm collagenous tissue there lightly, her lips
muttering the words against Camila’s skin. “They’re a part of you,”
she spoke, lifting her gaze to meet Camila’s eyes, the dark orbs
watching her closely, “and I love all of you Camz,” Lauren told her.
“You’re perfect.” Camila closed her eyes as she felt Lauren’s other
hand join the one behind her back, unfastening the clasp of her
bra to release it, the underwear falling on to the bed beside them
with a little encouragement from Lauren whose mouth was
roaming Camila’s now exposed chest zealously, coming to a stop
as she sucked gently on one of her nipples which grew hard in
response. “Fuck,” Camila cursed, inhaling sharply, all insecurities
now lost with the gratifying sense of pleasure Lauren was
inflicting on her. Lauren refused to fight the desire to connect
their mouths once more and her hands reached up to pull
Camila’s neck down towards her, bringing their mouths together
passionately as Camila’s hands slid up Lauren’s sides, the other
girls roaming down to cup her girlfriend’s buttocks as she botched
yet another attempt to remove some of Lauren’s clothing. “Jesus
Christ,” Camila complained as she separated their lips and tilted
her head forward, trying to get a better look at Lauren’s bra as
she continued to struggle against
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 6/11 it. Lauren smiled at the way
Camila poked her tongue out between her teeth in concentration,
her hands still unable to remove the offending item, her
enthusiasm hindering her more than helping. Eager to assist her
girlfriend, Lauren rolled Camila on to her back, switching their
positions on the bed so that she was now towering above her. The
brunette extricated her bra by herself, dropping it on to her
girlfriends’ stomach, Camila moving her hand to swipe it to the
side as Lauren wasted no time in unbuttoning her jeans, saving
her girlfriend the trouble later on. “Ok?” Lauren asked and Camila
nodded as the taller girl lowered herself down on top of her, their
mouths connecting once more, the taste of Camila making Lauren
feel dizzy. As she lay with Camila, their mouths preoccupied with
one another, their bodies pressed together tightly, their hands
roaming the other’s length unimpeded, Lauren couldn’t fathom
why she’d ever thought that it would be a good idea to resist her
girlfriends’ advances over the last few weeks. In fact, looking back
now, she thought it was probably the worst decision she’d ever
made. “You’re amazing,” she gasped, extricating her mouth from
 Camila’s to catch her breath, her chest feeling tight, her hands
moving down to undo Camila’s pants and tugging on them lightly.
“I haven’t done anything yet,” Camila returned equally out of
breath, a smirk on her lips as she lifted her hips off the bed
accommodatingly, allowing Lauren to pull her jeans down over
her thighs, drawing them over her ankles and releasing them to
fall where they would on the floor. “You’re so fucking stunning,”
Lauren told her, kissing her neck delicately, Camila’s furiously
beating pulse emanating through the taller girls’ lips as they
settled over her carotid artery. “I’m such an idiot,” she
reprimanded herself. “I feel like I’m the one who just woke up out
of a coma,” she shared, her mouth working its way down Camila’s
chest, kissing her skin softly, weaving a path on to the smaller
girls’ abdomen and below, Camila’s hips responding to their
touch, her buttocks tensing to thrust them forward as Lauren’s
lips kissed the space between her girlfriend’s legs over her
underwear. “Shit Laur,” Camila cursed, her hands gripping the
duvet either side of her as Lauren’s hands reached up to tease the
top of Camila’s black knickers, sliding them down past her hips
slowly, tauntingly. “Ifeel like I’ve been sleep walking for the last
month.” Lauren admitted, leaning forward and kissing Camila on
the stomach again softly, “and now I feel like I’m really alive for
the first time in a long time.” She shared, her mouth working its
way back down to the top of Camila’s pelvis and grazing the space
there over her underwear. “Next time that I suggest that we
 should wait,” Lauren started; her mouth moving up to suck on
Camila’s breast again, making the smaller girl writhe as Lauren
pulled down her girlfriend’s underwear and removed them with
ease. “Tell me to shut the fuck up.” She informed her as she slid
one of her hands up to take hold of Camila’s and pin it to the bed
beside her head, the smaller girl squeezing it firmly as Lauren’s
other one brushed lightly at her rapidly moistening core.
“Whatever…you…want,” Camila breathed, trying not to pass out,
her heart pounding furiously against her ribcage as Lauren’s hand
teased her gently, trapping all the air in her lungs so it felt like she
might suffocate. “I want you,” Lauren told her, dropping her
mouth to kiss the flesh just above Camila’s left hip, her hand
picking up pace as it continued to rub at Camila’s now soaked
centre, her own moistening in response to the soft moans
emitting from the brown eyed girls mouth. “Jesus Laur,” Camila
let out, the air escaping her lungs in sharp ragged breaths, her
free hand roaming in search of Lauren’s jeans, trying to remove
them. “No,” Lauren told her firmly as Camila tried to bring the
hand that she had pinned up by her head down to assist the other
one in its mission. “Laur…” Camila started to protest but Lauren
cut her off, removing her hand from where it had been working
and pinning Camila’s other free hand by her side, her lips crashing
down on top of her girlfriends’ and drawing pleasurably on the
bottom of her mouth. “I’m trying to prove something to you,”
Lauren told her seriously and Camila scrunched up her face as
Lauren’s hand started to wander back down to where it had been
only moments before.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 7/11 “What?” Camila asked, her voice
barely audible as Lauren’s hand resumed its previous rhythm,
Camila’s hips once again lifting off the bed in response. “That I’m
real,” Lauren told her seriously, slipping first one then two fingers
into Camila’s wetness and resuming her tempo there, her
girlfriend’s fears and concerns from last night still weighing
heavily on Lauren’s mind. “I’m fucking real Camz, I promise,”
Lauren reiterated leaning forward to kiss a spot just above
Camila’s belly button briefly, then trailing light delicate kisses back
down towards where her hand was still working. “Shit,” Camila
responded, her back arching up off the bed, her whole body
feeling tense, like a tightly sprung coil which was desperate to be
released. “This is real,” Lauren said again, her eyes studying her
girlfriend, who was biting her bottom lip, her eyes closed as every
muscle in her body contracted with Lauren’s continued
stimulation. “We’re real, you and I.” She reassured her. “God,”
Camila said, trying with every ounce of effort in her to hold on, to
not give in to the wave of ecstasy that was so desperately wishing
to pass through her, not without Lauren also experiencing it.
“Don’t doubt it,” Lauren said requested, kissing Camila’s stomach
again tenderly and moving her mouth up to tease her girlfriends’
nipple again. “It’s ok,” Lauren reassured her squeezing the hand
 that she held in her own tighter, the other aching from its
persistent pace. “I promise its ok,” she said again as she felt
Camila’s muscles tighten around her fingers. “I love you.” She
declared as Camila’s body shuddered, the space between her own
legs growing wetter at the sight of her girlfriends’ pleasure. “Ilove
you so much Camz,” Lauren said softly, leaning forward to suck at
the spot beneath Camila’s neck again for a moment before
moving to meet her mouth. She took the smaller girls’ lips in her
own, kissing her skilfully, her mouth seeming to mould against
Camila’s as though they were destined to fit together, two
adjoining pieces of the same puzzle. Lauren extracted her hand
from Camila as her girlfriend relaxed and Lauren moved her lips
up to gently kiss the top of her girlfriends’ brow, lingering over her
scar there and smiling slightly to herself. She lifted the hand that
held Camila’s down to sit against her own chest, kissing her
girlfriend on the lips as she did so, pressing Camila’s palm against
her ribcage. “Can you feel that?” Lauren asked Camila, her mouth
hovering just above the smaller girls’ whose pupils were so now
big, so dilated, that Lauren thought she might get lost in them
forever. “Your heart?” Camila breathed her face sweaty, her
expression slightly glazed over as she tried to gather herself again.
“Yeah,” Lauren smiled, planting a chaste kiss on Camila’s lips. “It
beat’s for you Camz, it doesn’t beat because of you. There’s a
massive difference…” Camila reached up her free hand gently to
brush the side of Lauren’s face, studying her features closely,
committing the soft lines to memory. “Ilove you,” Camila told her.
“I know that,” Lauren reassured her, kissing her on the lips again
affectionately. “I’ve never felt safer than I have when I’m with
you,” Camila shared honestly as Lauren caressed her cheek. “You
don’t have to be scared with me,” Lauren comforted her. “I’ve got
you,” she promised. “I’ll always have you.” “I believe you,” Camila
replied. “If you don’t trust this,” Lauren said, moving her hand up
to stroke Camila’s brow meaningfully. “Then trust this,” she
finished, pressing the palm of Camila’s hand in to her chest again.
“Your mind can play tricks on you, can convince you that this isn’t
real as much as it likes. It can make you think that it’s all just some
elaborate dream you created but this,” Lauren stated, moving
their entwined hands together pointedly, “this won’t lie to you
Camz. As long as my heart beats, as long as you can feel it, I’m
alive and your brain can’t argue with that.” Camila sat up slightly,
pressing her lips against Lauren’s, the space between her legs
throbbing; the muscles there continuing to contract pleasurably
even after she’d
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 8/11 reached her climax. She rested
her forehead against Lauren’s for a moment, her eyes closed, one
hand still entwined with her girlfriends’ atop her chest, the other
caressing the side of Lauren’s face. “I thank God for bringing you
in to my life every day you know,” Camila shared with her openly,
kissing Lauren on the lips again as she carefully rolled them over
so that she was now sat on top of her girlfriend. “You do?” Lauren
sighed as Camila untangled her hand from the confines of
Lauren’s and started pulling down her girlfriends’ jeans, slowly,
her bodyweight shifting from one leg to the other as she tugged
the denim down first to Lauren’s thighs and then over her ankles.
Camila hefted them on to the floor behind her carelessly as
Lauren studied her girlfriend appreciatively. “Yes,” Camila
confirmed, her hands now detaching Lauren’s underwear from
where they remained, the last piece of fabric between them now
lost. “You’re the greatest blessing he’s ever seen fit to send me.”
Lauren’s piercing green eyes looked into Camila’s; saw the
sincerity there, the truth to her words and she had a sudden and
overwhelming urge to connect their lips once again because she
was so moved by them. “You need to kiss me now,” Lauren
instructed her breathily, Camila’s words making her desperate for
contact, to feel the source of their magnificence against her own.
Camila smiled mischievously, her eyes bright as she willingly
obeyed; her soft mouth taking Lauren’s within it, her tongue
tickling the roof of the taller girl’s mouth as it travelled inside and
expertly stirred Lauren’s own back to life. Lauren sat up slightly as
Camila pulled back, trying to separate their lips, keeping the
contact going as Camila’s right hand reached down and bent up
Lauren’s leg so that she could push her body closer against her
girlfriend. “Camz, you don’t have to…” Lauren started, Camila’s
mouth sliding down to suck on the bottom of Lauren’s earlobe
and tracing a pleasurable trail of kisses down the brunettes’ neck,
lingering on her pulse point and causing Lauren to groan in
response. “I want to,” Camila informed her, mumbling the words
against the centre of Lauren’s chest, her left hand groping
Lauren’s right breast as her mouth switched position to cover the
left, her tongue flicking against her girlfriends’ nipple. “Shit,”
Lauren cursed, her back arching off the bed slightly, her hands
wrapping themselves around Camila’s waist and resting against
the firm cheeks of her buttocks, pulling her girlfriend closer
against her. Camila’s right hand glided across Lauren’s front to
settle between her girlfriends’ legs, feeling the dampness there,
the sensation of it reminding her of her own from moments ago
and causing her core to throb once again. She kept her left hand
firmly in place, massaging Lauren’s right breast as her mouth
continued to make a path of kisses down towards Lauren’s belly
button. Her right hand started to move back and forth against
Lauren’s crutch, her hand becoming slick with every repetition.
“Camz?” Lauren gasped, her girlfriends fingers pushing against the
slight resistance at her centre and disappearing out of sight.
“Yeah,” Camila answered, her mouth continuing even lower,
working its way to the top of Lauren’s dark mound and settling
there for a moment, tickling the brunettes’ skin gratifyingly and
causing her hips to raise against them. “Kiss me,” Lauren pleaded
and Camila tilted her face to look at Lauren, her chin resting
against Lauren’s abdomen, her hand still kneading her girlfriend’s
 breast, the other picking up pace slightly as it moved backwards
and forwards. “Ok,” Camila agreed, her hands never losing a beat
as she shifted her weight and crashed their lips together, Lauren
sitting up slightly to meet her. Lauren grasped the hand at the
back of Camila’s neck, ensuring that the contact between their
mouths remained, her breathing quickening as Camila’s hands
continued their meticulous work. Camila bit Lauren’s bottom lip,
sucking on it playfully as Lauren lifted her hips, driving the smaller
girls’ digits deeper. Camila probed Lauren’s mouth with her
tongue, pressing their lips together firmly, their mouths moving
together as though they were well rehearsed ballroom dancers,
graceful yet energetic.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 9/11 Lauren arched her neck back as
her body tensed up; her mouth separating from Camila’s long
enough for the brown eyed girl to relocate her own to kiss the
hollow of her throat. “Camz…” Lauren said and Camila didn’t need
to hear Lauren say it, instinctively knowing what she wanted and
obligingly transferring her lips back over hers, kissing her again.
Camila could sense that Lauren was near now and she pushed her
hips against her hand as her fingers continued their work, her
mouth never leaving the brunette’s, her tongue lashing against
her girlfriend’s. Lauren’s hand held Camila firmly in place from the
grasp she maintained around her neck, the other still cupping her
buttock, squeezing it gently as her hips thrust up to meet Camila’s
 own. “Shit,” Lauren cursed, her neck extending to expose her
throat, her breath coming out staggered as her body trembled,
Camila’s mouth only allow the separation to continue long
enough for her to catch her breath before taking Lauren’s again.
Lauren grabbed hold of the duvet with one hand, gripping it
tightly as her body finally started to relax back in to the mattress,
Camila’s left hand caressing the side of her torso tenderly as she
collapsed on top of her, withdrawing the other one from where it
had been to hold on to her girlfriends’ left hip. “Fucking hell,”
Lauren panted, the hand which had been holding the nape of
Camila’s neck now playing with her girlfriend’s hair as Camila
nuzzled her face against Lauren’s chest. “Yeah,” Camila breathed,
her right hand grazing Lauren’s collar bone repetitively as she
studied it. “Is it just me or was that better than the last time?”
Lauren asked, not wanting to cause offence but her brain still not
having quite recovered its wits enough to stop her from speaking.
“It’s not just you,” Camila confirmed, having felt much less
anxious and selfconscious this time around. “I think it helps that
we kind of knew what we were doing this time though…” “Does
that mean it’s going to keep getting better?” Lauren asked, kissing
Camila’s brow lightly. “I guess we’ll see.” Camila noted. “Ithink the
enforced period of celibacy might have had something to do with
it too.” She mused. “Perhaps we should always wait ten weeks…”
“Fuck that,” Lauren commented, cutting her off and shifting her
position to look at Camila who’d turned her face to meet her
gaze. “I don’t think I can even wait another five minutes.” She told
her honestly. “You might have to wait a few,” Camila said, her
voice raspy, her chest still rising and falling in quick succession as
she struggled to catch her breath. “My chest hurts a little,” she
informed her honestly. “Are you alright?” Lauren asked concerned
as Camila put the heel of her hand over the scar running down her
sternum. “It just feels a bit tight,” Camila informed her. “I think
it’s my scar.” She said. “The skin isn’t as flexible as it used to be…”
“Here,” Lauren said shifting Camila’s position slightly so that she
could massage the taut scar there soothingly. “Does that help?”
she asked. “Yeah,” Camila confirmed, closing her eyes for a
moment and enjoying the relief that came with Lauren’s touch.
“Thank you.” The corner of Lauren’s mouth turned up in to a smile
and she kissed Camila’s temple, her hand still massaging the
middle of her girlfriend’s chest softly. “It’s alright,” Lauren told
her and Camila tilted her head, twisting so that she was chest to
chest with the brunette again. “I’ve got you.” Camila placed a
chaste kiss against Lauren’s lips, smiling in to it happily. “For what
it’s worth,” Camila said, pecking Lauren’s lips again. “I’ve got you
too you know…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/66823203183/trialsand-
tribulationschapter50part4 10/11 “What do you mean ‘for what
it’s worth’?” Lauren asked, tucking a strand of wayward hair
behind Camila’s ear. “It’s worth everything Camz. You’re worth
everything.” Lauren said, because she meant it. Camila was worth
everything they’d been together over the last nine months; all the
pain, all the difficulties and the sleepless nights worrying whilst
she was in the hospital after her seizure. “I’m never leaving you
again,” Camila told her, kissing Lauren’s lips again softly. “I’m
never letting you,” Lauren replied and Camila burrowed her face
against the taller girls’ chest, Lauren’s arm wrapping around her
shoulders protectively as Camila draped her own across her
stomach, the two of them entangled in one another, content.
Chapter 51
A/N: Apparently this didn’t submit so apologies x Lauren woke to
the sound of the front door closing noisily downstairs, the loud
noise jerking her awake, her eyes flying open instantly and her
heart jumping up in to her throat at the unexpected sound. It took
Lauren a moment to register a still very much asleep Camila
tangled in her arms, the smaller girls head resting peacefully
against Lauren’s chest as she dozed. Camila’s arm was still draped
across the naked flesh of Lauren’s stomach as she slept and one
leg was wedged between the pair of Lauren’s securely as they lay
beneath the warmth of the duvet together. Slowly, Lauren’s
memory returned to her, the recollection of her and Camila’s
exploits just before they’d fallen asleep coming back to her in an
instant, heat flooding both her cheeks and the space between her
legs at the thought of it. After Camila had assisted Lauren to
achieve a state of blissful ecstasy, effectively repaying the taller
girl for the pleasure she’d helped her to attain beforehand, the
 two of them had laid on the bed, their bodies entwined in one
mass of limbs as they’d caught their breath, Camila’s chest pain
settling down after a few minutes with the help of Lauren’s
delicate fingers which massaged the thick scar that ran down the
centre of her torso tenderly. All it took for the girls’ to pick up
right where they’d left off was Camila lifting her dark chocolate
coloured eyes to meet the bright and lively green of Lauren’s, the
two of them connecting their lips together again hungrily at the
eye contact, their mouths craving the taste of one another after
so long spent apart, both of them still feeling euphoric from the
pleasure they’d experienced at the hands of one another shortly
before. Finally, after celebrating their physical reunion numerous
times in what they both perceived to be the most fitting way that
they could think of, the girls had settled down together in the
bed, Lauren covering the pair of them with her duvet in order to
keep them warm, their bodies spent and their chests heaving as
they fought to catch their breaths again. Camila’s chest pain had
returned after each occasion, her heart pounding loudly against
her chest from exertion, the pain disappearing just as quickly as it
had following its initial appearance whilst they lay together and
recovered from their efforts. Exhausted, the two of them had
evidently fallen asleep and Lauren quickly threw a worried glance
at the nightstand beside the bed, registering the time to be six
seventeen, the bright red numbers clear in the slowly dimming
light of day. “Shit,” she muttered, shaking Camila in an attempt to
 wake her up, the sound of her mom’s voice now audible from
downstairs as her familiar tone addressed Jasper, who had
apparently appeared from his hiding place beneath the dining
room table to greet her. “Shit,” Lauren cursed again through
gritted teeth, pushing Camila more forcefully when the smaller
girl remained resolutely asleep. “Camz,” Lauren hissed, trying to
keep her voice low so that it didn’t reach her mom’s ears
downstairs. “Jesus Camz, wake up,” Lauren urged, pushing Camila
again, her girlfriend stirring only for a moment to nuzzle closer
against Lauren’s chest, her eyes remaining closed as she slept.
“Fuck,” Lauren swore, quickly extricating herself from underneath
both Camila’s body and the duvet, the smaller girl burrowing
deeper in to the mattress in Lauren’s absence.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 2/20 “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Lauren cursed again
agitated as she picked up items of loose clothing from the floor
around the bed, completely naked from head to toe. “Lauren!?”
she heard her mom call from the bottom of the stairs and she
stopped dead in her tracks as she heard her mom’s footsteps
slowly start to climb the flight towards the landing. “Shit!” Lauren
hissed, throwing the pile of clothes on to the bed beside Camila
who was still completely oblivious to the imminent danger they
faced and the inevitable wrath that they’d have to endure if her
mom found them together. Lauren turned her attention to her
bedroom door and remembered that it was unlocked, that in their
 haste to be together, they’d completely neglected to ensure it
was closed securely. “Fuck!” she reprimanded herself, her eyes
falling on to the dressing gown which was hanging from the back
of the door, a desperate idea forming in her mind. Lauren ran
forward and grabbed the robe off the hook swiftly, shrugging it on
as her hands dropped down to fasten the tie around her waist.
She reached for the door handle quickly and inhaled deeply,
pausing for a moment in an attempt to compose herself before
opening it and stepping outside. She turned her back to the top of
the stairs, pulling her bedroom door closed just as she heard her
mom step on to the landing behind her. “Hi,” Clara greeted and
Lauren turned around to face her mom, trying her hardest to
feign surprise at the sight of her. “Hi,” Lauren said, trailing off as
she stepped forward to throw her arms around her mom in a
quick hug, “What are you doing here? I thought you were out for
dinner tonight?” “I am,” Clara informed her stepping back as
Lauren released her hold on her mom. “I’d just forgotten the book
I promised to lend Jennifer just so I thought I’d come and get it on
the way through.” “Oh right,” Lauren responded, fighting the
sudden urge she felt to look behind her at the bedroom door. “I
saw Jasper downstairs and assumed that you were here with
Camila,” Clara said, shifting the small paperback book in her hand
to get a better grip of it. “She came by the house to pick him up
earlier,” she explained, her eyes on Lauren, making her feel as
though she were being interrogated despite their soft appearance
 and the unassuming tone of her mom’s voice. “She was rambling
on about wanting to surprise you down at the school or
something…” she went on, laughing to herself at the memory of
her conversation with Camila earlier. “You know, for someone
who’s had problems with her speech in the past she can sure talk
a lot.” Clara noted amused. “You’re telling me,” Lauren agreed,
remembering how Camila had done the exact same thing earlier
and it had taken her kissing the smaller girl to finally get her
girlfriend to stop speaking. “I think that’s part of the reason why
she does it though,” Lauren shared thoughtfully. “She’s so used to
not being able to express herself that when she’s given the
opportunity now that she can Camila just kind of runs with it.” “So
where is she?” Clara asked interestedly, smiling at Lauren’s
musings. “She’s lying on my bed naked,” Lauren said as she
pointed over her shoulder with her thumb, plastering a large grin
on her face in the hopes that her mom would think she was joking
and dismiss the claim. “Where is she really?” Clara asked
assuming Lauren was being sarcastic, trusting her daughter
implicitly. “No seriously,” Lauren said, placing a hand on the door
handle behind her as though to open it up, her heart pounding
violently in her chest, anxious, “she’s sleeping in my bed as we
speak,” she pressed on with the charade, silently hoping that she
wasn’t being overly satirical. “Do you want me to prove it?” she
asked, praying that her mom wouldn’t call her bluff. “That won’t
be necessary,” Clara laughed, waving the book in her hand
 indifferently, Lauren releasing the breath she’d been holding and
her vision slowly returning to normal, the edges coming back in to
focus with the restored oxygen flow to her brain. “I trust you,” she
declared and Lauren felt guilty instantly at her mom’s absolute
faith in her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 3/20 Clara paused for a minute and turned
to gesture back down the stairs at Jasper who was bounding up
the flight towards them both. “I take it from his presence here
that you’ve seen Camila though?” She asked and Lauren nodded.
“Yeah, she met me at school,” Lauren answered honestly bending
down to pick up Jasper as he pawed at her legs enthusiastically.
“We all arranged to meet at Jimmy’s for something to eat at
seven so I dropped her back home to get ready.” “So what’s
Jasper doing here?” Clara asked puzzled. “Why didn’t she taken
him home with her?” “Um…” Lauren said struggling to come up
with a plausible lie. “Lauren,” Clara started her voice more
serious. “I know that it’s going to be hard but Jasper is Camila’s
dog and now that she’s back he needs to go and live with her
properly. It’s not fair to keep carting him back and forth,” she
stated, leaning forward to stroke the small puppy gently on the
top of the head, “no matter how adorable he is.” “I know,” Lauren
responded, a sudden thought coming to her, “but Camz still has
all her stuff to unpack and she didn’t want him getting under her
feet so…I said I’d drop him off when I pick her up.” “Ok,” Clara
 accepted, obviously pacified by Lauren’s reply. “Just make sure
that you do alright?” she asked. “As much as I’ve loved having him
around the house it’s time for him to get settled at Camila’s. This
was only ever meant to be a temporary arrangement,
remember?” “Yeah I know,” Lauren answered as Jasper wriggled
around in her arms energetically. Jasper was moving around so
much that she had to put him back down on the floor where the
young canine almost immediately ran for her bedroom door and
began to scratch at it, emitting small feeble barks at the
obstruction, eager to get inside. “Jasper,” Lauren scolded loudly,
trying to pick the puppy up but failing, the dog squirming free to
continue his unconvincing attack of the door. “Have you got some
of his treats in there?” Clara asked her interestedly, entertained
by Jaspers zealous desire to get inside. “No,” Lauren told her
honestly, casting a look back down at the small Spaniel. “Well he
definitely wants to get to something in there,” Clara commented
amused. “Yeah Camz,” Lauren thought to herself as she silently
weighed up her options. She could either let Jasper keep barking
at the door and risk him peaking her mom’s interest to the point
that she wanted to investigate, or she could allow him in and risk
Camila waking up and making her presence known. Neither choice
seemed particularly appealing to her right now, but Lauren made
a decision, reaching for the handle and pushing it down noisily.
“There you go Jasper,” Lauren said as loudly as she could, trying to
rouse Camila and warn her of his admission to the room without
 seeming too obvious in her intent. She listened for a moment but
didn’t hear any cry of surprise and turned her attention back to
her mom who was studying her attire curiously, as though she’d
just realised that she was practically naked. “Why are you just
wearing that?” Clara asked and Lauren felt her cheeks grow hot at
the question. “I was about to take a quick shower before I got
ready to go out and meet the others,” Lauren informed her
smoothly, the lie having come to her as soon as she’d seen the
dressing gown hanging on the back of her door. “Oh right,” Clara
responded, throwing a cursory glance at her watch to check the
time, “I forgot that you’re supposed to be going out shortly. I’ll
leave you to it then,” she said, “I’ve got what I came back for,” she
added, holding up the book in her hand for Lauren to see. “Have a
good time tonight,” she continued, stepping forward to kiss
Lauren on the forehead and hug her goodbye. “Don’t be too late
though alright?” she requested. “Your dad and I have already
extended your curfew tomorrow so that you haven’t got to rush
back from the concert.” “I won’t,” Lauren promised as a loud
crash came from behind her bedroom door.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 4/20 “What was that?” Her mom asked
frowning as she stepped forward to push the door open further.
“It was probably just Jasper,” Lauren said quickly as her mom
crossed into the room and she followed behind her hesitantly.
“Listen…” Lauren started grimacing as she prepared for her mom’s
 fury but she stopped instantly when her eyes scanned the room
to find no sign of Camila. “He must have knocked over your alarm
clock,” Clara said, picking the object up off the floor and placing it
back on to the nightstand beside the bed. She turned to look at
Lauren who was studying the room with an expression of pure
confusion on her face at Camila’s unexplained disappearance.
“Are you alright?” Clara asked her and Lauren nodded, turning her
attention back to Jasper who was wandering across the pillows on
her bed, unbalanced on his own legs. “Fine,” she replied, walking
over to pick Jasper back up. He was sniffing at the spot where
Camila had been lying only a few moments ago, obviously finding
his owners scent. “I just don’t think I should leave him in here
whilst I’m in the bathroom.” She commented. “Otherwise I’ll
come back and he’ll have destroyed the place.” “I think that’s
probably a good idea,” Clara agreed, turning back around to head
for the door again and venturing back out on to the landing.
Lauren stepped out after her with Jasper in her arms. She turned
for a moment and examined the room closely once more still
puzzled, before closing the door firmly behind her and placing
Jasper back down on to the floor. He wandered around Lauren’s
feet for a minute before following Clara as she descended the
stairs and Lauren trailed after her mom, Clara twisting round to
face her as she made a move to step down after her. “Don’t worry
about seeing me out,” Clara told her kindly. “Go and get ready. I
don’t want you to be late.” “Ok,” Lauren said resisting the need to
make sure that her mom had actually left and stepping back on to
the landing. Lauren gave her mom a small wave which she
reciprocated and then stepped down the hallway towards the
bathroom, opening and closing the door as though she’d entered,
but silently hiding out of sight, her back pressed solidly against the
wall as she listened to the front door close firmly behind her mom
as she left. For a while Lauren stayed put, holding her breath until
she heard the engine of her mom’s car roar in to life, the sound
gradually growing quieter as she pulled out of the driveway and
disappeared down the road and in to the distance. Lauren sighed
slowly, releasing the large breath she’d been holding, relieved at
her good fortune. “Camz!” she called, pushing herself off the wall
and hurriedly making her way back to the bedroom, throwing the
door open wildly and scanning the room again. “Camz,” she
repeated, this time noting the distinct lack of her girlfriends’
clothing from where it had been scattered across the floor by the
bed. “Jesus,” Lauren said confused, stooping down to look under
the bed and realising at the last moment that she had a solid base
which meant Camila couldn’t be hiding under it. “Camz?!” Lauren
called more loudly and she finally heard her girlfriends’ quiet
voice in response from the direction of the closet. “Has she
gone?” Camila asked tentatively, pushing the closet door open
slightly and revealing herself. She sat inside the piece of furniture,
curled up in the bottom of the structure, seminaked, her denim
jeans in place but unfastened and her bra covering her chest.
“Fucking hell,” Lauren breathed as she approached her girlfriends’
hiding place and offered Camila her hand. “I wondered where the
hell you’d gone.” She admitted. Camila took hold of Lauren’s
outstretched arm and the taller girl pulled her girlfriend on to her
feet so that she was standing in front of her. Camila’s hair fell
around her face messily and Lauren reached forward to tuck a
loose strand behind her girlfriend’s ear so that she could see her
beautiful features more clearly. “Ithought that you’d vanished in
to thin air,” she divulged incredulously.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 5/20 “That was close,” Camila commented
still evidently shocked by the whole situation and ignoring
Lauren’s words. “No shit,” Lauren laughed, despite how close
they’d been to getting caught out. “Fuck.” She cursed again, the
profanity helping her to relax somewhat. “I almost called out
when I heard Jasper barking at the door,” Camila informed her
still obviously surprised at the turn of events. “Then I heard your
mom’s voice and I almost had a fucking heart attack,” she
continued, reaching a hand up to her chest and wincing slightly,
the heel of it pressing against the scar there forcefully as she
moved her hand back and forth, rubbing the tight skin beneath it
soothingly. “I practically jumped out of bed and threw myself in to
your wardrobe.” She told her. “Well if you weren’t such a pain in
the ass to wake up then you might not have had to rush so much,”
Lauren shared with her, placing both her hands on to Camila’s
 shoulders and pulling her into a hug. “I thought you were a light-
sleeper? Shouldn’t you be easy to rouse?” “It’s your fault,” Camila
muttered against Lauren’s dressing gown. “You tired me out and I
always seem to sleep better with you than anywhere else.” “You
know, we’re going to be late to meet the others if we don’t get
ready,” Lauren said, looking over Camila’s shoulder as they
embraced and noting the time on her alarm clock. “Can I just have
one second to get my shit together?” Camila asked lightly, lifting
her head to look at Lauren who was watching her closely. “I am
not ok right now. I mean, I just came out of the closet!” She
finished with a thoughtful expression on her face as she registered
her words. “So to speak…” she added laughing. Lauren leant
forward to plant a soft kiss against Camila’s forehead and quickly
followed by placing her lips against Camila’s mouth, where she
lingered for a beat longer. “Is that better?” Lauren asked leaning
back, and Camila furrowed her brow, her bottom lip jutting out in
response to the question. “A little,” she conceded and Lauren
shook her head in amusement as she leant forward and kissed
Camila more deeply. “What about now?” Lauren asked and the
corner of Camila’s mouth turned up in a mischievous smirk. “Not
quite.” She said and Lauren smiled, tilting her face forward to take
Camila’s lips in her own again, her tongue darting in to the smaller
girls’ mouth as her hands lightly caressed Camila’s back. “Now?”
Lauren questioned, when she next released Camila from her hold,
stroking her girlfriend’s arms lovingly. “Yeah, that feels better,”
 she confirmed smiling brightly as Lauren stepped over to the bed
to collect her clothing. She started to pull her underwear on under
her bathrobe, turning around to face Camila as she sat down on
the bed and slipped her jeans on over her ankles. “Camz?” Lauren
asked chuckling as she noticed her girlfriend start to push down
the top of her pants. “You’re supposed to be getting dressed, not
stripping.” She informed her girlfriend amused. “I know,” Camila
acknowledged, “but I couldn’t find my underwear when I ran to
the closet so I only had enough time to pick up my jeans…” “Did
you put them on before you got in to the wardrobe?” Lauren
asked interestedly. “After,” Camila responded and Lauren’s grin
grew wide. “Skills,” she commented entertained at her girlfriends’
antics. “Who knew you were a contortionist?” “Not me that’s for
sure,” Camila answered lightheartedly. “I don’t know if I’d be able
to do it again though. Ithink it was the adrenaline rush…” “Here,”
Lauren said, reaching down over the other side of the bed and
picking up her girlfriends’ elusive item of underwear, her eyes
having roved around the room in search of them as Camila spoke.
“Ifound them.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 6/20 “Thank you,” Camila said gratefully,
taking the small panties in her hand and holding them securely as
she pushed down her jeans and stepped out of them. “No, thank
you,” Lauren commented, appreciating the sight of Camila’s
naked form again as her girlfriend slipped in to her underwear and
 pulled them up. She wore an amused expression on her face as
she watched Lauren biting her bottom lip as she observed her
closely. Camila wiggled her hips a little as she shifted her
underwear in to place properly, bending forwards to pick up her
jeans from the floor and pulling them on over the top. She
struggled to fasten the button as Lauren followed Camila’s lead
and finished getting dressed, standing up and walking over to her
closet to find another shirt, as Camila searched the room for the
rest of her clothes. “Shit!” Lauren cursed, remembering the shirt
that she had originally been wearing was downstairs on the floor
by the front door; the buttons sprawled haphazardly across the
carpet where Camila had ripped it off her. “What?” Camila asked,
finally finding her tshirt and sweater. She pulled them on over her
head and reached back to take her hair out from where it was
trapped beneath the clothing, draping it across one shoulder. “My
fucking shirt,” Lauren cursed, turning for the door and making her
way through it quickly, sprinting down the stairs to find her shirt
exactly where they’d left it on the floor, the small buttons littering
the ground close by. Lauren bent down to retrieve the items, a
feeling of dread washing over her as she heard Camila’s footsteps
descending the stairs, the smaller girl coming to a stop alongside
her. “Shit,” Lauren swore, standing up with the shirt and buttons
now in hand. “We’re so fucked.” “Why?” Camila asked not
understanding Lauren’s concerns. “There is no way that my mom
didn’t see this,” she commented, holding the shirt up for Camila
 to study. Camila took the shirt from Lauren, a puzzled expression
on her face. “Surely she would have said something if she had,”
Camila offered and Lauren shook her head in response. “I don’t
think so,” she replied. “She’s probably going to call me out on it
later when she’s home.” “If she was in a rush she might not have
noticed it,” Camila reassured her. “Or she might have thought
that you just took it off when you got home and dropped it
there…” Camila paused for a moment as she thought. “Ok, so, she
probably didn’t see it when she came in,” Camila mused
contemplatively. “I mean, it was behind the door when it opened
so she wouldn’t have noticed it right?” she asked and Lauren
nodded slowly, picturing the scene in her head. “The only other
time she might have seen it is when she left…” “Or when she was
looking around for her book,” Lauren added, interceding.
“Right…” Camila agreed, not having known Clara’s reason for
returning. “So…if she had seen it and thought anything suspicious
about it, she’d have come back upstairs to talk to you…wouldn’t
she?” “Not necessarily,” Lauren said anxiously. “Well, let’s assume
that she didn’t.” Camila offered comfortingly. “Jesus Camz,”
Lauren sighed. “We are so screwed if she figures out that you
were here. I’ll be grounded until college and we’ll never get to see
each other.” “Try not to worry about it,” Camila said supportively,
stepping forward to place a reassuring hand on Lauren’s upper
arm and rubbing it comfortingly. “If your mom is anything like
mine she’d have come marching back up the stairs and
 confronted me about it straightaway.” “Are you sure?” Lauren
asked with a nervous expression on her face.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 7/20 “Am I sure?” Camila repeated,
laughing. “No, not in the slightest, but, what’s the use in worrying
about it now?” she questioned. “If your mom did suspect
something there’s very little that we can do about it, we’ll just
have to deal with the consequences.” “Shit,” Lauren cursed again
and Camila pulled her in to a tight embrace, kissing the top of her
head lightly. “Besides,” Camila started wistfully when Lauren said
no more. “Imagine what being together after a year apart would
be like if that’s how amazing it was after ten weeks…” she finished
jokingly. “Camz,” Lauren groaned, stepping back and hitting her
girlfriend on the arm playfully. “Can you not joke about this?” “I’m
not joking,” Camila informed her, smiling impishly. “That was
incredible,” she praised, trying to wrap her arms around Lauren
who was laughing now and trying to push Camila away good-
humouredly. “No stop it,” Lauren said chuckling loudly as Camila
caught the brunette in her arms and started to kiss her face all
over. “No,” Camila answered as Lauren squirmed around, trying
to avoid her girlfriends’ sloppy kisses. “In fact,” she said roguishly
as she started tickling Lauren’s sides. “God no,” Lauren cried out,
twisting this way and that to avoid Camila’s hands and failing
miserably to escape the smaller girls’ arms. “Shit, Camz….stop
it…” “Nah uh,” Camila said continuing in her attack and backing
 Lauren up against the wall, her hands ceasing their incessant
tickling to gently stroke Lauren’s sides. Their faces were mere
inches apart and Lauren swallowed hard, remembering that this is
exactly how they’d gotten in to this mess to begin with, her
cheeks flushing bright red and the space between her legs
growing hot at Camila’s proximity, her girlfriends’ chocolate eyes
boring in to her own. “Don’t.” Lauren said simply as Camila
moistened her bottom lip, ignoring her girlfriends’ words. “I think
I prefer it this way around,” Camila commented, pressing her face
closer to Lauren’s. “We need to get ready.” Lauren said,
swallowing hard again, unable to withdraw her eyes from
Camila’s, the feeling of her girlfriend’s hot breath against her skin
driving her crazy. “Hmmm,” Camila moaned, bringing her lips
even closer to Lauren’s. “We’ll be late,” Lauren informed her. “I
don’t care.” Camila returned and Lauren dropped her gaze to her
girlfriends’ lips as they connected with her own, her eyes closing
as the kiss, which was tentative at first, deepened enjoyably.
Lauren felt Camila’s hands push up the bottom of her tank top
and her hips pressed against Lauren’s own, wedging her girlfriend
back against the wall. “Camila,” Lauren groaned as she pushed
Camila back, her hands on the smaller girls’ chest. “Ugh,” Camila
complained making a face. “Did you just call me Camila?” she
asked. “I don’t even remember the last time you used my full
name. It sounds weird now when you say it…” “Focus Camz,”
Lauren said amused at Camila’s ramblings, her girlfriend smiling as
she placed a hand on her arm. “We don’t have time for that,” she
laughed. “We need to finish getting ready…” “What if your mom
does know about what happened this afternoon?” Camila
questioned playfully. “This could be the last chance we have to be
together for a whole year…” she trailed off, her voice lowering
dangerously. “One year Lauren. That’s three hundred and sixty
five days…” “My mom could come back you know,” Lauren
commented, moving her hands up to Camila’s shoulders and
holding her back as she tried to kiss her again. “Let’s not tempt
fate any more than we already have today.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 8/20 “As much as the prospect of your
mom finding me naked in your bed scared me,” Camila said
staring at Lauren’s lips again, “I do have to admit that it was kind
of exciting. Don’t you think?” “What has gotten in to you?” Lauren
asked amused. “You,” Camila replied and Lauren shook her head,
rolling her eyes at how easily she’d walked in to that one. “Do you
remember a time when our relationship wasn’t just about sex?”
Lauren questioned and Camila lifted her gaze to look in to her
girlfriends’ eyes. “Yes,” Camila answered, “but I don’t think that’s
all it’s about right now though. Why?” she asked selfconsciously.
“Do you?” “Sometimes,” Lauren admitted and Camila stepped
back. “Seriously?” she asked. “A little,” Lauren confirmed, the
flash of hurt that crossed Camila’s features making her feel guilty
for her admission instantly. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love
 that side of our relationship but…” “I don’t understand,” Camila
interrupted. “We’ve been together on a total of what… three
occasions in the six months that we’ve been dating? How does
that equate to our relationship being all about sex?” “Well, when
you say it like that I suppose it doesn’t,” Lauren conceded, a
surprised look on her face at the stark facts which Camila
presented. “I don’t know, it just seems like sometimes that’s all
you’re thinking about…” “It’s been ten weeks since we’ve been
alone together Lauren,” Camila interrupted, “so I’m sorry if I’m
coming across a little strong but I’ve missed this side of our
relationship.” Camila shared with her, rubbing Lauren’s upper arm
meaningfully. “All we’ve been able to do since I went in to rehab
is talk and occasionally kiss.” Camila went on. “If anything our
relationship has been about almost everything else but sex.” She
paused for a moment to look at Lauren pointedly. “Besides,” she
started again. “If I remember correctly, it was you that pushed me
up against the wall and dragged me up to your room earlier.” She
reminded her girlfriend. “It wasn’t me.” “Ok you’re right,” Lauren
admitted. “I just…I’m freaked out about my mom coming home
and it’s kind of dampened my mood a little bit. I’m sorry…” “Its
fine,” Camila said understandingly, “we’ll just go upstairs and
finish getting ready ok?” “You don’t mind?” Lauren asked and
Camila kissed her on the lips affectionately before turning back in
the direction of the stairs, her hand sliding down Lauren’s arm to
entwine with her girlfriends’. “I don’t mind,” Camila reassured her
as she led her back up to the bedroom and gestured Lauren inside
to finish getting dressed. “I’ll go and wash up whilst you find a
new shirt to wear,” she suggested, holding out the now torn one
which she still held in her hand. Lauren took it from Camila and
the smaller girl made her way down the hallway to the bathroom,
disappearing out of sight. They spent the next ten minutes getting
ready before finally climbing in to Lauren’s car and making their
way towards Jimmy’s, dropping Jasper off at Camila’s house en
route. “Well, look who actually turned up…” Dinah said happily
when Camila and Lauren arrived at the diner, just after seven
o’clock. “I thought for sure that you two would blow us off.”
Lauren gave Dinah a look and the taller girl smiled at the sight of
it. “We saved you guys a seat,” Normani said meaningfully,
gesturing to the empty space beside her in the booth. “You
actually saved us a seat,” Lauren responded in disbelief on
noticing the vacant space. “Wait just one?” Camila questioned
and Lauren nodded in the affirmative at her girlfriends’ words.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 9/20 “You were late,” Ally informed them.
“We couldn’t save any other chairs because it started to get really
busy.” “It’s five minutes past seven,” Lauren said, glancing at the
clock on the diner’s wall. “You can barely label us as late.” “Would
you just sit down?” Dinah said and Lauren descended into the
booth beside Normani, Camila making a stand and sitting down
opposite her in Dinah’s lap. “Mila!” Dinah protested, trying to
push the other girl off her, Camila fixing her hands on the table to
keep her balance and maintain her position. “Would you get off
my lap? You have a girlfriend for this kind of thing,” she pointed
out and Camila saw Lauren smile at Dinah’s words. “Ithought you
said that you missed me?” Camila asked her friend, turning round
to face her. “Not this much,” Dinah laughed gesturing to Camila in
her lap meaningfully. “Oh well then you should probably shuffle
along a little before this gets weird,” Camila commented shifting
her weight from hip to hip annoyingly until Dinah finally relented
and moved along the seat to allow Camila to sit down beside her.
“Before it gets weird?” Dinah chuckled lightly. “Camila I hate to
break it to you but it’s already weird.” Camila shifted position so
that she was no longer crushing Dinah and the taller girl wrapped
her arms around Camila’s neck in a side hug despite her words.
“Yeah and this doesn’t make it any weirder at all does it?” Camila
asked her, lowering her chin in to the crook of Dinah’s arm and
holding the taller girls’ elbow with her own for a moment. “I know
you love me though. I don’t know why you try to hide it from me
because everyone can see it. You’re so obvious.” “I am not,”
Dinah commented, releasing Camila and taking a sip of her drink.
“Yeah you are,” Ally agreed with the smaller girl. “Normani?”
Dinah asked and her fellow dancer nodded her head in the
affirmative. “Ok well, seeing as I’m being so obvious I actually
have something for you,” Dinah said, reaching down to pick up
her bag which was under the table and placing it in her lap for a
 moment. “Is it food?” Camila asked excitedly and Lauren reached
her hand across the table to place it atop her girlfriends’ in an
attempt to calm her down. “Why are you always so hungry?”
Normani asked amused. “I swear you should be ten times the size
that you actually are with the amount of food that you eat.” “It’s
not even like you exercise either,” Ally laughed. “Hey, I exercise!”
Camila protested. “Bringing a slice of pizza to your mouth isn’t
exercise,” Lauren commented entertained at the pout which
crossed Camila’s face at her words. “I walked Jasper for forty
minutes today,” Camila reminded them. “That’s got to count as
exercise right?” “Plus,” Ally started suggestively, a sudden thought
occurring to her. “I bet you burnt a few calories this afternoon as
well.” She finished winking, the insinuation clear. “Huh,” Normani
responded laughing, one eyebrow rising slightly in surprise. “All
valid points,” she conceded. “Sorry Camila. I guess you do
exercise.” “Thank you Normani,” Camila said playfully, smiling
brightly at her acknowledgement. Lauren shook her head at her
idiot girlfriend, her own cheeks flushing red at the implied topic of
discussion. “Um, excuse you all,” Dinah said, her hand hidden in
the opening of her bag, waiting patiently for them to turn their
attention back to her. “I believe I was in the middle of something
before you all so rudely interrupted me?” “Go ahead Dinah,” Ally
prompted, placing an encouraging hand on Dinah’s shoulder from
where she sat on her other side.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter51 10/20 “Thank you,” Dinah responded
pointedly and pulling out a wrapped present for Camila which she
held out for the smaller girl to take. “Welcome home.” She said
smiling happily. “Oh, you mean you actually got me a present?”
Camila asked in disbelief as she took the box from Dinah’s hands.
“I thought it was like a joke or something. You know, like you say
you got me a present, than pretend to reach in to your bag and
pull it out but just end up smacking me around the head instead.”
“Oooh I kind of like that,” Dinah replied, her eyes staring off for a
moment as though picturing the scenario playing out. “I’m going
to store that away up here for future reference, but, perhaps I
won’t use it on you…” she trailed off. “Why not?” Camila asked
and Dinah pointed at her friend’s scar significantly. “I think the
less direct trauma to your head the better, don’t you?” she
queried and Camila smiled. “Yeah, alright,” she agreed, shaking
the small box in her hand. “Camz,” Lauren said, releasing Camila’s
other hand to allow her to take hold of the box properly. “Are you
going to open it or just admire the wrapping paper?” she asked
amused. “Yeah, come on Camila,” Normani urged. “I want to see
what Dinah got you.” “Me too,” Ally exclaimed enthusiastically. “If
it’s anything like your birthday present it’ll be hilarious.” “Oh
God,” Camila said making a face at the memory. “You could have
warned me before I opened that up in front of my parents by the
way,” she said to Dinah who was smiling gleefully beside her. “I
don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed in my life.” “That is not
 true,” Dinah said emphatically. “Remember that time….” “Ok,”
Camila cut her off, reaching a hand up to cover Dinah’s mouth and
stop her spilling any wellkept and buried secrets. “No one needs
to hear about that thank you.” “Uh, I do,” Lauren said, lifting one
hand up. Normani and Ally nodded their heads and raised their
own hands. “Yeah,” Ally muttered as Normani said ‘Same.’ “Well,
once when Camila was about ten…” Dinah started, but Camila
dropped the present in to her lap and pushed both her hands
back against the taller girls’ mouth firmly in an attempt to shut
her up. “No, no,” Camila beseeched. “Stop it! You promised me
you’d never tell anyone…” “Now I really want to know what
happened,” Lauren commented, raising one eyebrow at Camila,
her interest peaked. Camila glanced over at Lauren momentarily
at her girlfriend’s words, her hands still fixed over Dinah’s face.
“We had a deal remember?” Camila said to Dinah, returning her
attention to her friend. “You don’t tell anyone about what
happened that day and I won’t tell anyone what happened two
years ago at your parents Fourth of July barbecue…” Dinah’s eyes
grew wide and Camila gave her a questioning look which the
other girl nodded in response to. “So we have a deal?” Camila
asked and Dinah nodded her head in silent agreement. “Great,”
she said, removing her hands from Dinah’s mouth and picking up
the present again. “I’d forgotten all about that barbecue,” Dinah
informed Camila who smiled at her wickedly. “Well, I haven’t,”
she returned. “So, if you ever feel the urge to share my most
 embarrassing experience with anyone then just remember that I
also know yours.” “Noted,” Dinah said nodding her head. “Oh
come on,” Normani groaned. “You can’t not tell us all now that
you’ve said something.” She complained. “I really want to know
what happened.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 11/20 “Sorry ‘bout it,” Dinah said, making a
sad face in Normani’s direction, “but she has worse ammunition
on me so for now it’s going to remain a secret.” “You two are so
annoying,” Normani moaned lightheartedly enjoying the energetic
back and forth between the pair of them. “I keep forgetting that
you both knew each other before any of us were even friends.”
“Me too,” Lauren seconded. “So are you going to open your
present or what?” Dinah questioned as Ally took a sip of her soda,
leaning forward to get a better view of the smaller girl who had
began attacking the wrapping paper in an attempt to remove it,
her line of sight previously blocked by Dinah. Camila stuck her
tongue out between her teeth in concentration as she pulled the
paper off. “It’s not much,” Dinah said as Camila paused, the
serenity plaque now visible in her hands, “but Ithought you should
have something, you know, to mark the occasion…” “Ilove it,”
Camila replied honestly, her eyes moistening at the gesture. “You
do?” Dinah asked uncertainly. “I mean, I didn’t know what to get
you for the best because my parents said that it would be hard for
you coming back and I just wanted to show you that I’d be here
 for you,” she explained. “Well, we all would.” Dinah corrected
herself, glancing at the others who all nodded their heads in
affirmation of her words. “Can I see it?” Lauren asked and Camila
handed the plaque to her girlfriend. “God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I
can; and wisdom to know the difference.” “It’s kind of perfect,”
Lauren said, handing the plaque back to Camila who took it
gratefully. “I don’t know, Ithink it’s kind of stupid now that I’ve
actually given it to you,” Dinah said uncertainly. “I found it
because I actually googled ‘What to get your friend as a gift who’s
just gotten out of rehab?’ and that came up. I had absolutely no
idea, I mean, it’s never happened to me before.” She explained
and Camila smiled at her friend’s honesty. “Apparently they’ve
kind of adopted this,” she said pointing to the plaque, “in
alcoholics anonymous and other twelve step programs but I think
the words are kind of fitting for you and I don’t know, perhaps
they’d give you some encouragement or something.” Dinah
groaned audibly. “Ok so yeah, this really wasn’t a good gift,” she
went on and Camila shook her head in disagreement. “No it is,”
Camila dismissed the taller girl’s concerns truthfully. “It’s perfect
Dinah, thank you. I’m going to put it up on my bedroom wall at
home and that way I can look at it every morning when I wake up
and it’ll remind me that I’ll always have your support, that I can’t
change the fact that the accident happened but that I can strive to
continue moving on from it, to try and change the way I think
 about it, how I live my life now because of it.” “Really?” Dinah
asked, her mood brightening at Camila’s words. “Yes,” Camila
replied smiling. “You know, I used to look for lots of inspirational
quotes on tumblr when I was in rehab, especially if I’d had a bad
day,” she admitted, “and this one would always come up. It was
one of my favourites along with ‘If you’re going through hell, keep
going.’” She shared. “I don’t know why but I really liked that
Winston Churchill one for some reason.” “Well,” Dinah said,
gesturing to the other’s assembled around the table. “I think I
speak for all of us when I say that we’ve really missed you being
around Mila,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I mean, I
can’t normally stand your jokes,” she laughed, trying to hold back
the tears which were threatening to fall, “but it’s surprising what
you’ll miss when someone isn’t around all the time anymore and
as much as I love these girls,” Dinah said, smiling at the others
appreciatively for their support over the last couple of months.
“You’re my best friend,” she said, placing one hand on Ally’s
which hand found its way to her shoulder encouragingly. “No,”
Dinah said thoughtfully, “You’re not my best friend.” She realised
and Camila frowned. “I’m not?” she asked, chuckling slightly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 12/20 “No, you’re so much more than
that,” Dinah revealed. “I’ve known you since the moment I was
born,” she explained. “We’ve literally grown up together and you
know everything about me Mila. You’ve been there for me
 through it all, the good, the bad, the hilariously embarrassing,”
she added, trying to make light of the deep conversation they’d
found themselves in, a tear falling slowly down her cheek. “You’re
my sister.” She declared. “You might not be my family by blood,
but you are in every other way possible. In fact, you’re even more
special to me than some of my family.” She realised, “because you
can’t choose your family, you have to love them because you’re
related, because there’s a tie there.” She explained, “However
you chose to be a part of my life and to allow me to be a part of
yours. You stuck by me through everything because you wanted
to, not because of some familial obligation.” Dinah waved her
hand dismissively. “I guess what I’m saying is that I love you,”
Dinah finished, sensing that she was becoming overly emotional.
“I love you and I’m just glad that you’re home again alright?”
Camila’s face broke out in to a wide grin at Dinah’s words and she
reached forward to wrap her arms around her warmly. “I love you
too,” Camila reciprocated as Dinah’s arms squeezed her tightly.
“You honestly have no idea how much you mean to me,” she
expressed, leaning back and wiping at her eyes with the back of
her hand to remove the damp that was collecting there.
“Everything you said about me just now…I feel exactly the same
way about you too, if not more so,” Camila said as she noticed
Ally wipe her own eyes, the short girl moved by her and Dinah’s
interaction. “You were the only person after the accident that
tried to joke with me and make me laugh like I used to,” Camila
 told her, “you stood by me through everything, including those
dark days when you’d come with me to rehab and I couldn’t walk,
remember? I’d swear at you and call you all sorts of horrible
things because I was angry at everyone…” she reflected. “You
didn’t have to stay then Dinah but you did…” “Yeah well,” Dinah
said, wiping at her eyes again. “I wouldn’t have had any other
friends if I’d walked away from you,” She chuckled, only half-
joking. “You were all I had.” “I’m sorry I was so horrible to you
back then,” Camila apologised sincerely. “I don’t think I’ve ever
really said sorry for the way Itreated you. You didn’t deserve
that.” “I knew you didn’t mean it,” Dinah shared with her. “It
wasn’t about me…” “No,” Camila agreed, the truth now known to
her after finally working through the accident at rehabilitation. “It
was about me.” “So this is it now?” Dinah asked her. “We can all
start over?” Camila smiled as she looked around at her friends.
“I’d really like that,” she replied and Dinah’s grin grew wide as the
waiter came over with a few plates of hot wings. “Great,” Dinah
said, wiping the last tears from her eyes, the sentimentality of the
moment passing quickly and falling back in to easy banter,
“because I’m about to kick your ass in this challenge.” “Oh
please,” Camila responded taking up the challenge. “You suck at
the hot wing challenge, you always have.” “I do not,” Dinah
protested. “You kind of do,” Normani commented laughing. “Even
Ally can beat you.” “Yeah,” Ally agreed. “In fact, I have beaten
you…on numerous occasions.” “That was beginner’s luck,” Dinah
 retorted. “Four times in a row?” Ally asked amused. “I need a
serious contender,” Camila said glancing at Lauren who was
smirking in her direction. “I’ve not beaten you once either,” she
responded smiling at her girlfriend. “You’ve gotten closer than
Dinah ever has.” Camila informed her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 13/20 “I’m sat right here,” Dinah
complained, reaching over and helping to separate the hot wings
on to five plates, splitting them between all assembled. “I think
Normani is my stiffest competition,” Camila mused thoughtfully.
“She’s not bragging and that always worries me. Ithink she’s been
practicing since I’ve been away. I mean just look at the grin on her
face. She knows something I don’t, that’s for sure.” “I’ve been
practicing whilst you’ve been away,” Dinah tried again, putting
her hand up in front of her to get Camila’s attention. “I’m going to
beat you. Why won’t you believe me?” “Probably because you
look the least convinced by your words out of everyone at the
table,” Lauren laughed picking up one the hot wings on her plate
ready. “Ok so shall we just do this?” Camila asked copying her
girlfriend, the others following suit quickly. “On three?” Ally
asked. “One,” Normani said, lifting the wing in her hand closer to
her mouth. “Two,” Dinah continued, giving Camila a sideways
glance. “Three.” Camila finished as they all started their wings, the
challenge well and truly in progress, each girl tucking in to the
small morsels eagerly. Lauren was the first to drop out, her lack of
 drink making her struggle with how spicy the wings were. As the
rest of the girls continued, Lauren went up to the counter to get
both herself and Camila a soda, watching the challenge continue
from where she stood. Ally was the next to drop out and was soon
followed by Normani leaving Dinah and Camila to battle it out for
first place. Dinah put in a good show but ultimately Camila won
and she wasted no time in rubbing her victory in her friends face,
taunting her endlessly. “I’ll get you next time,” Dinah threatened
and Camila smiled, knowing that she was and would likely always
be the hot wing challenge champion. The girls settled down to
another evening of taunting jibes and lighthearted conversation,
Normani wasting no time in filling them all in on her newest
dating dilemma, Ally sharing the fact that she was going to visit
her family in Texas again over Spring break and Dinah telling them
all that her mom was pregnant again and expecting another baby.
“That’s amazing news,” Camila congratulated her friend happily,
hugging her. “You’re having another baby brother or sister?!
That’s so great…” “I guess,” Dinah said as Camila released her. “It
means more babysitting duties for me though.” “I don’t know
what you’re complaining about,” Camila muttered knowingly,
reaching over the table to take Lauren’s hand in her own again.
“You love babysitting.” “That’s true,” Lauren agreed, entwining
her fingers with Camila’s. “You’re always talking about how much
you love it.” “I’m pretty sure that you all hear things,” Dinah
laughed, “when have I ever said that?” “You say it all the time,”
 Normani giggled. “I think you say it at least once a day,” Ally
agreed, smiling at Dinah who turned her head to look over at the
person who’d approached the table and was now standing
nearby, silent. “Hey,” Dinah said in greeting and the brunette
smiled back warmly as the rest of the girls noticed her arrival.
“Hi,” she returned kindly. Lauren who had been in the process of
having a sip of her drink spluttered at the sight of Clare standing
beside her, coughing furiously as she accidentally inhaled the
liquid instead of swallowed it. “Are you alright?” Camila asked her
concerned, shifting her position in the seat to get a better view of
her girlfriend who was waving her hand back and forth, brushing
off her concern.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 14/20 “Ithink I might have surprised her,”
Clare stated making an apologetic face. “You two know each
other?” Camila asked genially and Clare nodded her head. “We
met over the summer,” she informed the group as Lauren
continued to cough, failing in her attempts to compose herself.
“You’re Clare?” Normani asked, casting Lauren a meaningful look
before looking back at the tall brunette. “Yeah,” Clare replied, a
smile on her lips that Lauren had spoken about her. “I see Lauren
has told you about me.” “Kind of,” Normani answered as Lauren
finally took in a deep breath, her coughing settling back down.
“We met at softball camp this summer,” Clare told the group.
“How have you been?” she asked the greeneyed girl who was
 looking at her in surprise. “What are you doing here?” Lauren
asked her instead of answering, her shock at seeing the other girl
in the diner she normally frequents. “I thought you lived up near
Allapattah?” “I do,” Clare replied. “I was down here visiting some
family and me and my cousin decided to get something to eat.
You know, escape from the adults.” “Ifeel you,” Dinah
acknowledged and Lauren gave her a pointed look. “Although I’m
sensing that perhaps this isn’t such a good time?” she asked
Lauren. “No it’s fine,” Camila said, not sensing Lauren’s
discomfort. “Right Lauren?” Camila asked. “You know,” Clare said.
“My cousin is just parking the car so she’ll probably be here any
minute. I can go and find somewhere to sit whilst I wait. I’m sorry
Iinterrupted.” “Lauren,” Camila said significantly and Lauren
sighed. “No, look its fine honestly Clare,” Lauren said, a hint of
hostility in her voice. “Are you sure?” Clare asked, “Because you
seem kind of pissed to see me.” “I’m just surprised,” Lauren
admitted. “I didn’t think that we’d ever see each other again.”
“Well, that was the plan,” Clare acknowledged. “You know, you
didn’t have my number and I didn’t have yours. It was just a
summer romance. That’s what we agreed right?” “Oh,” Camila
said, drawing the word out, realisation finally dawning on her.
“Oh?” Clare asked turning her attention to Camila. “Clare this is
my girlfriend Camila,” Lauren told her before Camila could say
anything. “Oh,” Clare repeated. “Ok…” she said studying Camila
closely. “Well, now the slight hint of awkwardness from a minute
 ago makes perfect sense.” “You’re Lauren’s ex?” Camila asked
feeling extremely selfconscious as she examined the girl standing
beside her. She had long wavy brunette hair and dark hazel eyes
which sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the diner. She was
wearing tight skinny jeans which hugged her long, lithe, athletic
legs perfectly and her features were feminine and soft, her smile
bright from her perfectly straight, white teeth. “Kind of,” Clare
answered turning to Lauren and looking for her to explain. “We
sort of dated at softball camp,” Lauren told Camila, “but it was
nothing and it happened before we’d even met so…” “Wow,”
Clare laughed cutting Lauren off, “that kind of stung. It was
nothing? I mean, my girlfriend didn’t see it as ‘nothing’ that’s for
sure.” “You know what I mean,” Lauren replied feeling flustered
as an unreadable expression crossed Camila’s face. “Wait, your
girlfriend?” Camila asked Clare, resting her head in her hand, her
elbow propped against the table.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 15/20 “I might have cheated on her with
Lauren.” Clare said tentatively. “My fault really but Lauren was
kind of persistent, even after she knew I was dating someone.”
“You make it sound like we were together,” Lauren defended
herself. “It’s not like we ever had sex or anything.” “Kissing is still
cheating,” Clare told her. “I know, I just…” she said turning to
Camila who was rubbing her forehead, a frown firmly in place. “I
never slept with her I promise.” “It’s true, she didn’t” Clare
 reassured Camila. “I believed you,” Camila responded, glancing at
Lauren. “So say something.” Lauren prompted her, reaching
across the table and reaching for Camila’s hand, hoping that she
wouldn’t pull it away from her. “What do you want me to say?”
Camila asked her, allowing Lauren to take her hand in her own.
“Are you mad?” Lauren asked. “About you having a girlfriend…”
she started but noticed Clare shaking her head emphatically. “Ok,
fine,” she said in understanding, “About you being with someone
else before me?” “Well, yes.” Lauren confirmed. “You do know
that I’ve already had to deal with one of your psycho exes?”
Camila asked her. “Ithink I know that I’m not your first girlfriend.”
“We weren’t girlfriends,” Clare said quickly. “We were just a
fling.” “Alright,” Camila laughed. “Also,” the newcomer said
lowering her head slightly so she was in Camila’s eye line. “I’m not
a psycho…just thought I should clarify that in case you weren’t
sure.” “So you’re not mad?” Lauren asked Camila uncertainly. “I
don’t understand what you think I’d be mad about?” Camila
asked, her brow still creased in confusion. “I don’t know, it’s just
this is all kind of awkward.” Lauren admitted. “You kind of made it
awkward Lauren,” Clare told her and Camila nodded her head in
agreement. “I only came over to see how you’d been. I wasn’t
hitting on you or anything, I promise.” She continued, holding her
hands up in front of her theatrically and turning to address
Camila. “I don’t want you to beat the crap out of me or
anything…” “It wouldn’t be the first time she’s hit one of my
 exes,” Lauren said purposely and Camila gave her an incredulous
look as she continued. “She broke her nose and everything.”
“Jesus, that was Rachel’s fault as much as mine,” Camila
defended. “It’s not like I just go around randomly hitting your
exes. I don’t,” she said to Clare seriously. “That all happened
before I went to rehab,” she explained, “and if you knew Rachel
then you’d understand that she’s a massive fucking bitch.” Camila
paused for a moment to look at Lauren before addressing Clare
once again who looked intrigued by Camila’s last statement. “You
actually seem kind of cool,” Camila complimented her, “I mean,
apart from the fact that you cheated on your girlfriend with…well,
my current one. That’s kind of a lousy thing to do.” She informed
her. “She thought so too,” Clare divulged as Camila rubbed at her
temple for a moment. “Do you have a headache?” Lauren asked
worriedly and Camila nodded. “It’s nothing,” Camila told her
reassuringly. “Are you sure?” Lauren asked her. “Yeah it’s fine,”
Camila answered. “You said you haven’t had one for a while,”
Lauren reminded her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 16/20 “Lauren it’s just a headache,” Clare
laughed, “It’s not going to kill the girl. She said she’s fine.” “Ok,”
Lauren said turning to Clare. “You know what? You don’t know
the first thing about Camila and…” “Lauren,” Camila scolded
Lauren, cutting her off. “She doesn’t know what happened to
you,” Lauren told her. “That’s not her fault,” Camila responded.
“You know maybe we should leave you guys alone for a minute?”
Normani suggested, glancing between Dinah and Ally, who she
assumed also felt like a complete intruder on this conversation.
“Actually maybe I should go,” Clare said glancing between Lauren
and Camila. “Ithink that would be best,” Lauren informed her as
Camila rubbed her temple again. “I’ll see you in a couple of
weeks?” she asked and Lauren’s head turned up to look at her
quickly. “You know,” Clare clarified when she saw Lauren’s lack of
understanding. “At the softball game,” she explained. “Our teams
are playing each other.” “Right,” Lauren said, “Yeah, ok. I guess
you will.” “Nice to meet you all,” Clare said to the other’s, waving
at them. “Cool scar,” she complimented Camila, finally noticing
the mark on the other girls’ head. Camila lifted her hand to the
blemish which still sat just above her left eye reflexively at the
remark. “Makes you look badass.” Clare said honestly before
walking off. Lauren watched Clare disappear across the room to
sit at an empty table where she started flicking through the menu
whilst she waited for her cousin to arrive. Meanwhile, everyone
else’s attention turned to Lauren expectantly. “Thank God,”
Lauren said exhaling loudly and returning her attention to Camila
who was still rubbing her head. “Are you sure you’re alright?” she
asked again. “I said I’m fine Lauren,” Camila repeated again, a hint
of anger to her voice. “Ok I’m sorry alright,” Lauren apologised.
“I’m just worried about you. I thought Clare might have stressed
you out.” “You’ve stressed me out,” Camila told her truthfully.
 “What the hell was all that about?” “You were kind of rude,”
Normani said in support of Camila. “Everyone knows what
happened the last time one of my exes started to involve
themselves in my life again,” Lauren responded a little irritated.
“Can you really blame me for being a little bit hostile? Apparently
I have a history of attracting crazy people…” “Lauren,” Dinah said
as Camila retracted her hand from her girlfriend’s, hurt by the
quip. “What?” Lauren asked, not having realised what she’d
inadvertently implied, her statement intended to relate to Rachel
and her meddling only. Dinah tilted her head in Camila’s direction,
the smaller girl shaking her own, stunned by Lauren’s words.
“Shit,” Lauren cursed reaching across the table to try and take
Camila’s hand, but she moved it out of the greeneyed girls reach
deliberately. “Camz you know I wasn’t talking about you.” She
said hurriedly. “That isn’t what it sounded like,” Camila said still
stung. “I was talking about Rachel,” Lauren tried to reassure her
but Camila stood up purposefully. “I need some fresh air,” she
said before heading in the direction of the door. Lauren watched
her go for a minute before glancing back at the others who were
watching her, waiting for her response. “What the fuck just
happened?” Lauren asked perplexed. “Aren’t you going after
her?” Dinah replied, ignoring Lauren’s question.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 17/20 Lauren met her eyes for a moment
before pushing herself up out of her seat and making a move after
 her girlfriend, exiting the diner to stand on the empty street
outside, Camila nowhere in sight. “Shit,” Lauren cursed putting a
hand to her head and reaching in to her pocket to retrieve her
phone. She dialled Camila’s number and heard her girlfriends’
ringtone, their song playing in close proximity and Lauren
followed the sound of it around the side of the building and in to
the alley. “Camz?” Lauren called as she stepped in to the alley.
“Are you down here?” she asked. “I’m over here,” Camila called
back and Lauren made her way into the poorly lit area further.
“Hey,” Lauren said hesitantly when she found Camila leaning up
against the wall of the diner, her hands behind her back. “Hi,”
Camila replied not meeting Lauren’s gaze. “I’m sorry if what I said
upset you,” Lauren apologised. “I didn’t mean to, but I promise I
was referring to Rachel, not you…please you have to believe me.”
“I do,” Camila answered stepping away from the wall. “I’m sorry
too. I know that you weren’t talking about me. I was being stupid
and I overreacted.” “Ok so can we go back inside?” Lauren asked
taking an apprehensive step towards her. “I have a headache,”
Camila told her. “Ijust need to get some fresh air for a minute.”
“You said that you have a headache because I stressed you out,”
Lauren remembered. “Not Clare, but me.” She stated. “What did
you mean by that?” she asked interestedly. “I just don’t
understand what got in to you in there,” Camila told her
truthfully. “Clare seemed nice and you acted really coldly towards
her.” “I’m sorry if I was rude to her,” Lauren said, “I’ll apologise if
 you want me to…” “Why were you like that?” Camila asked. “She
only asked after you? That’s all.” “I didn’t want her to tell you that
we kind of dated,” Lauren answered honestly. “Then she did and
she even mentioned that she’d had a girlfriend at the time…Ijust
didn’t want you to think badly of me.” “I don’t,” Camila reassured
her. “I mean, I knew she was seeing someone but I still kissed her
anyway and I didn’t want you to lose your trust in me.” Lauren
continued speedily. “I didn’t want you to think that I would do
that to you…” “Everyone makes mistakes Lauren,” Camila said.
“I’ve made more than my fair share in the last few months.” She
acknowledged. “It doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you
human.” “I would never cheat on you,” Lauren told her. “I know
that,” Camila assured her. “I believe you.” “I regret what I did with
Clare,” Lauren shared. “I know I was technically single but that
isn’t a very good excuse. I still pursued her. I still kissed her Camz,
even when she’d said no,” she divulged. “I’m no better than
Rachel when you get right down to it.” She finally said, expressing
the real crux of the problem. “Is that what this is about?” Camila
asked. “I’m just like her,” Lauren realised. “The only difference is
that my girlfriend stayed true to me.” “You’re not Rachel,” Camila
said gently, stepping forward and brushing Lauren’s arm
comfortingly. “You’re nothing like her.” “Aren’t you listening to
what I just said?” Lauren asked, tears stinging her eyes. “I’m
exactly like her Camz.” “No you’re not,” Camila said again. “Why?”
Lauren questioned. “What makes me different to her?”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67201777711/trialsand-
tribulationschapter51 18/20 “I…” Camila started, struggling to
come up with anything to say. “Exactly,” Lauren responded.
“There’s no difference.” “That isn’t true,” Camila tried again,
suddenly thinking of something. “You regret what you did and
Rachel doesn’t,” she informed her. “She doesn’t even
acknowledge that she did anything wrong. She just blames me for
it, says that the reason she kissed me was because I was flirting
with her…” “Is she mental?” Lauren asked interceding and Camila
gave her a pointed look. “Right, of course she is.” She
remembered. “You’re not like her,” Camila repeated again, taking
both Lauren’s hands in her own and squeezing them. “You made a
mistake once Lauren. I’m not going to hold that against you.
Especially not when it happened before we even knew each
other.” “You won’t?” Lauren queried uncertainly. “No,” Camila
confirmed. “I trust you because you’ve given me absolutely no
reason not to. I’m not mad at you,” she reaffirmed stepping closer
to Lauren, “and I’m not concerned that you’ll go running off with
someone else after everything that you’ve stuck by me through.”
She informed her. “There is no one else that I trust more than
you.” She finished connecting her lips with Lauren’s and kissing
her softly. “Ok?” “Ok,” Lauren answered. “However,” Camila said,
making a face. “If you did cheat on me with Clare, I don’t know if I
could really blame you.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked as
Camila wrapped her arm around her shoulders and began to lead
 her back to the diner. “Are you jealous?” she questioned and
Camila didn’t say anything at first, making Lauren think she was
right. “I mean she’s stunning,” Camila pointed out. “Plus, she’s
funny…and really friendly…” she continued thoughtfully. “You’re
all those things,” Lauren told her. “I’m not funny,” Camila
laughed. “Ithink we both know that.” “Ithink you’re funny,”
Lauren said smiling at Camila who nudged her in response. “Yeah
but then again you always did have a weird sense of humour,”
Camila commented. “Thank you,” Lauren said stopping Camila for
a moment just outside the diner door. “For what?” Camila asked a
puzzled expression on her face. “Just for being you,” Lauren
answered. “For always seeing the best in me even when you hear
about some of the things I’ve done which I’m not proud of.” “You
are the kindest, most generous, loving and thoughtful person I
have ever met,” Camila told Lauren. “You’re beautiful, intelligent
and steadfast. It doesn’t matter what you do or what you’ve done
in the past, you’re still all those things, to me more than anyone.
You’re human Lauren, just like the rest of us and Ilove you
because of that.” “You wouldn’t love me more if I were a vampire
or something?” Lauren asked Camila, her cheeks glowing red at
Camila’s commendation. “Only if you bit my neck,” Camila said
playfully, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously and disappearing
back inside the diner. “Well then, I guess I know what I’m dressing
up as for Halloween next year,” Lauren said to herself before
following her girlfriend inside.
 Chapter 52
A/N: Chapter has been split by popular request…. “Morning
sweetheart,” Clara greeted Lauren as she walked in to the kitchen
the following morning. “Morning,” Lauren returned brightly,
making her way over to the fridge and opening the door to look
inside it, searching for some orange juice. “Do we have any OJ?”
she asked, glancing over at her mom who was sat at the kitchen
counter having just eaten her breakfast. Clara had the paper open
in front of her and was reading the morning’s headlines lazily, a
cup of coffee in one hand, her now empty bowl on the counter in
front of her. “It’s on the top shelf behind the yoghurts,” Clara
informed Lauren, her eyes never leaving the article that she was
currently in the middle or reading. “Thanks,” Lauren said,
returning her attention to the fridge and pushing the yoghurts
aside. She pulled out the bottle of orange juice and closed the
fridge door, unscrewing the cap on the top as she leant against
the kitchen counter behind her, opposite her mom. “Lauren,” her
mom scolded, finally lifting her gaze from the paper to look at her
daughter. “What have Itold you about drinking straight from the
bottle?” “You told me to do it,” Lauren joked, dropping the bottle
from her mouth momentarily to answer. “Can you please use a
glass?” her mom asked and Lauren made an apologetic face
before turning around to take a tumbler out of the cabinet just
behind her. Lauren poured the cool orange liquid in to the glass
and returned the cap to the top of the bottle before placing it
 back in the fridge where she’d found it. “Thank you,” her mom
said appreciatively as Lauren came over to take a seat beside her.
“Anything interesting in the news today?” Lauren asked trying to
make conversation as she placed the glass down on to the granite
surface in front of her. “Nothing too exciting,” Clara replied,
closing the paper and taking a sip of her coffee, her eyes locking
with her daughters. “How was dinner with the girls last night?”
she asked. “Did you have a good time?” “Yeah,” Lauren answered,
lifting her own glass to her mouth and taking a long swig of the
sweet liquid appreciatively. “Dinah got Camz this serenity plaque
as a present. It was kind of a welcome home gift, you know, to
celebrate her getting out of rehab…” “That was thoughtful of
her,” Clara acknowledged. “Did Camila like it?” “Yeah she’s going
to put it up on the wall in her bedroom,” Lauren told her mom.
“She’s says it’ll be a good reminder to help with her recovery.”
Lauren paused for a moment to take another sip of her drink.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trialsand-
tribulationschapter52 2/11 “I keep thinking that because she’s
been discharged now that means she’s completely better, but,
she told us that her recovery is still ongoing.” Lauren said
thoughtfully. “Recovery is a longterm process,” Clara agreed,
putting her coffee mug down on to the counter. “She’ll probably
be dealing with it for the rest of her life. She’s right it doesn’t stop
just because you get out of rehab.” “Apparently her therapist said
that it’s probably going to be really hard for her initially,” Lauren
 shared with her mom. “She told her that the first few weeks back
are always the most difficult.” “Camila will be fine,” Clara
reassured her confidently. “She looks like a completely different
girl to the one that left here a couple of months ago.” “You don’t
think she’ll relapse or anything?” Lauren asked her mom
concerned. “I don’t think so,” Clara replied, shifting her position
slightly in her chair, “but you never know Lauren. She might do.”
“I don’t think she will,” Lauren commented without much
conviction. “I mean, I’d like to think that she won’t…” “Have a
little faith in her,” Clara suggested interrupting her daughter’s
musings. “Ithink you’ll be surprised. Camila isn’t as fragile as you
seem to think she is. Sometimes I think that you worry about her
unnecessarily.” “I can’t help it,” Lauren responded, draining the
last of her orange juice and settling the glass back on to the
counter. “Camila is a big girl Lauren,” Clara said meaningfully.
“She’s more than capable of looking after herself and you need to
let her do that every once in a while. It must be a little disparaging
for her to always have people trying to do everything for her.
That’s only going to make her feel like no one believes in her
ability to do things for herself. She isn’t completely inept.” “I don’t
do everything for her,” Lauren complained defensively. “I think
that you do it so reflexively now that you don’t even realise that
you do it,” her mom disclosed. “You’re her girlfriend Lauren,” she
continued. “You’re not her carer.” “Has she said something to
you?” Lauren asked, knowing that Camila had seen her mom
alone when she’d come round to pick up Jasper yesterday and the
other weekends that she was home from rehab. “Not directly,”
Clara replied. “Sinu might have said something to me about it
when we had coffee on Wednesday.” “What did she say?” Lauren
asked. “Just that Camila had asked her and Alejandro to let her do
more for herself when she gets back home instead of
automatically jumping in to help her.” Clara answered truthfully.
“She told them that her therapist recommended that she needs
to feel like she has some independence, that it’s crucial for her to
get back in to the habit of looking after herself, even if it’s hard
and she struggles from time to time.” “She didn’t say anything
about me though?” Lauren asked interestedly. “No,” Clara
acknowledged. “She didn’t, but, I think that you should try to be
respectful of that if you can.” “Camz hasn’t mentioned anything to
me about it,” Lauren noted. “Do you think she’s scared to?”
“Perhaps she just hasn’t found the right time yet,” Clara offered.
“Ithink she’d probably get round to it eventually. She probably
just wanted a couple of days to get settled back home again
before she broached the subject.” “Ok well, I guess I can do that,”
Lauren said wistfully. “I mean, I’d do anything to help her.” “I
know you would,” Clara observed. “That’s why I wanted to bring it
up with you.” Clara stood up from where she was sitting and
collected up her bowl and mug before heading over to the sink
and depositing them inside. “What time is she coming round
today?” Clara asked, turning back around to face Lauren who’d
 been watching her mom from where she sat.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trialsand-
tribulationschapter52 3/11 “Any minute now,” Lauren replied,
throwing a quick glance at her watch. “She said she has lots of
surprises planned before the concert tonight.” She shared with
her. “I don’t know if I should be worried about that or not. You
never know what Camz has up her sleeve. It could be anything.”
“I’m sure that whatever it is you’ll have a nice time,” Clara
responded smiling. “Where’s everyone else?” Lauren asked, her
ears registering the relative silence of the house. “Your dad has
taken Chris to soccer,” she told Lauren. “Taylor decided that she
wanted to go too.” She continued, laughing a little to herself. “It’s
the third week in a row that she’s been.” Clara shared. “I’m
starting to think that she likes someone on Chris’ team.” “Really?”
Lauren asked her mouth growing wide as she grinned. “I still keep
thinking she’s just a kid,” she admitted. “I never thought she’d be
having crushes already.” “You’re all still kids,” Clara reminded her
pointedly, “and it doesn’t matter how old you all get you’ll always
be our children. Nothing will change that.” Lauren stood up and
retrieved her glass, walking over to the sink and dropping it inside
carefully before kissing her mom on the cheek. “I hope not,”
Lauren said, turning to walk out of the kitchen and towards the
hallway to collect her bag ready for her day with Camila. “I fixed
your shirt for you,” Clara said meaningfully and Lauren stopped
dead in her tracks, her back to her mom, her breath catching in
her throat as panic washed over her. She remembered leaving the
article of clothing on top of her dresser last night before she’d
gone out but she didn’t recall seeing it there on her return.
“Umm, thanks.” She said, turning around and trying to look as
innocent as possible. “It’s in the laundry room with the rest of
your clothes,” Clara told her. “I’ll take them upstairs and put them
away,” Lauren offered, spinning back around and trying to escape
the room as quickly as possible, not wanting to seem suspicious
but almost positive that she was failing in her attempt at
appearing indifferent. “In future I’d prefer it if you could unfasten
your clothing instead of relying on Camila,” Clara called after
Lauren once her daughter had practically reached the door and
was almost standing in the hallway. “It will save me the trouble of
having to keep sewing all your buttons back on to things in
future.” Lauren wasn’t exactly sure what a heart attack felt like
but if anyone had asked her at that exact moment, she would
have sworn that’s precisely what she was experiencing. She felt all
the colour drain from her face and her chest constrict so tightly
that she struggled to inhale an adequate amount of oxygen into
her lungs, her vision blurring and her head spinning at the notable
lack of the precious gas in her system. “What?” she managed to
say quietly, turning around to look at her mom. She swallowed
hard, trying to moisten her now extremely dry mouth but finding
it difficult to produce even the smallest amount of saliva to be
anywhere remotely near successful. “What did you say?” she
 managed to ask again, her voice cracking slightly as she spoke.
“Ithink that you heard me,” Clara said simply, her eyes never
leaving her daughters. “I don’t…” Lauren began but Clara shook
her head disappointed at the attempted lie. “Please don’t make
me out to be a complete idiot,” Clara interrupted her before she
could even start constructing a story. “Contrary to popular belief I
do still have some of my wits about me.” “Listen…” Lauren said,
stepping back in to the kitchen. “No,” Clara interceded again
stepping forward and away from the cabinet she’d been leaning
against. “I want you to listen to me for a minute,” her mom stated
and she paused for a moment to see if Lauren would say anything
further. When she didn’t, Clara continued. “I don’t appreciate you
lying to me yesterday when I came home to find you here alone
with Camila,” Clara shared with her, “I wasn’t born yesterday and
as much as I respect how easily you managed to come up with a
plausible explanation as to why Jasper was in the house, it
honestly concerns me that you seem to be able to lie to me so
easily.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trials-
andtribulationschapter52 4/11 “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised, but
Clara held up her hand to stop her daughter from continuing
further. “I don’t like the idea that you have been sneaking around
and disrespecting the rules of this house,” Clara went on, her
voice betraying her evident disappointment. “The fact that you’re
in a relationship with a girl doesn’t exempt you from following
them. You are the oldest here and you should be trying to set an
 example for your brother and sister.” “I…” Lauren tried to defend
but Clara held up her hand again and she knew better than to try
and continue. “Under normal circumstances I’d ground you,”
Clara told her, “but…” she continued, her voice lifting to cut
Lauren’s attempt to interrupt her off. “I’m not going to do that. At
least, I’m not grounding you today.” Clara approached the
counter in the middle of the kitchen. “You will be grounded
though,” Clara informed her seriously, “and you will respect the
rules of this house from now on. Is that clear?” “Yes,” Lauren
answered quietly. “This is to stay between me and you,” Clara
went on. “Your father is not to find out about it ok?” She asked
and Lauren nodded her head. “Trust me when I say that you are
getting off lightly.” She shared. “If your father had come home to
find what I did, you and Camila would probably be banned from
seeing each other but, not because of what you’ve done,” she
remarked. “If he feels anything like I do it wouldn’t bother him so
much that you and Camila have taken that next step in your
relationship, after all, we both know exactly what it is like to be a
teenager in love Lauren. We understand how it feels to care about
someone the way that you do about Camila. It’s natural for you to
want to be together and I think under the somewhat unusual
circumstances you’ve had to deal with that your relationship has
developed a lot quicker than perhaps it might have done
otherwise.” She paused for a moment to study her daughter’s
face before continuing, Lauren’s features displaying her obvious
 shame. “It’s not that I’m angry about,” she continued. “What
upsets me the most is that I feel like I can no longer trust you
Lauren,” she continued to admonish her daughter. “You blatantly
lied to me and that makes me question everything that you say.
We’re so proud of the person that you are, how honest you’ve
been with yourself and us regarding your sexuality,” She noted. “I
just struggle to fathom that you are capable of lying to us like you
have been without giving even a second thought to how
disrespectful that is,” Clara told her. Lauren didn’t say anything for
a few minutes when Clara had finished, instead just looking at her
mom unsure what to do next in order to rectify her mistakes. “I’m
sorry,” Lauren said again after a while, the silence having lingered
on, Clara refusing to break it whilst she waited for her daughter’s
response. “I am,” she declared sincerely. “I don’t have an excuse
for my behaviour…” “You’re in love,” Clara sighed, resting her
elbows against the kitchen counter and her chin in her hands. “I’m
sorry,” Lauren repeated, the word seeming to lose all its meaning
the more that she said it. “It won’t happen again…” “See and
that’s the problem Lauren,” Clara interjected. “I don’t know
whether to believe you or not when you say that.” “It’s the truth, I
promise.” Lauren said stepping towards her mom. “I hated lying
to you, I did.” “What are you more sorry about?” she asked with
interest. “Disrespecting our rules or getting caught out in your
lie?” Lauren didn’t answer straightaway, her thoughts running
rampant in her head as she tried to formulate an acceptable
response. The reality was that she didn’t regret being with Camila
physically. She loved her and it didn’t feel wrong when they were
together, it didn’t feel like they were breaking any rules, it felt
natural and easy. It felt right despite the knowledge that they
were young and that their parents wouldn’t’ approve of them
taking that next step in their relationship. However, Lauren did
regret her mom catching her in her lie and losing all trust in her.
She had never wanted her parents’ to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trialsand-
tribulationschapter52 5/11 be suspicious of her or to doubt in her
character. The fact that her mom now did devastated her. “I don’t
regret being with Camila,” Lauren finally settled on responding,
her eyes meeting her mom’s once again, “but I do regret lying to
you about it when you found out.” “At least that’s honest,” Clara
acknowledged, a sad smile creeping on to her lips. “Why didn’t
you say anything yesterday?” Lauren asked. “You could have
spoken to me and Camila together.” “Camila’s not my daughter,”
Clara informed her. “I have no right to assume how her parents
have bought her up or their own thoughts on the topic,” she
explained. “Also, despite how much of a double standard it might
seem, Camila’s circumstances do mean that sometimes she isn’t
held as accountable for her actions as you are. Whether that is
right or not, I don’t know, but the reality is that she doesn’t
possess the same inhibition that you and everyone else does. It’s
what led to her parents sending her to rehab in the first place.
That disinhibition means that she doesn’t consider or think about
the consequences of her actions and her impulses. Her body just
reacts before her brain has even had time to process what she’s
done. Sometimes she’s incapable of suppressing what she’s
feeling because she physically can’t Lauren.” Clara gave Lauren a
meaningful look. “It’s why she ultimately got suspended,” Clara
reminded her, “and as unfair as it might seem it’s why you need
to take on more responsibility in this relationship. You have to be
responsible enough for the both of you.” “You just said that
Camila is a big girl and can look after herself,” Lauren said feeling
slightly confused. “Now you’re saying that I need to assume
responsibility because she can’t.” “Camila is physically able
enough to look after herself,” Clara clarified, “and I imagine that
she’s gotten much better at recognising her behaviour and
controlling her feelings better but just like her physical therapy
after the accident helped her function, she’ll only be able to really
get adept at managing her emotions with practice and you need
to help her with that because it’s not as easy to rehab.” “What do
you mean?” Lauren asked. “Why not?” “Emotions aren’t a stable
state of mind Lauren,” Clara explained. “They are as easy or
simple to trigger in someone and practice a response to. It’s not
the same as repeating the same task over and again, like, I don’t
know, reaching for a cup or something. They fluctuate depending
on the situation and Camila will only be able to deal with and
react to them as they arise. Sinu said that she’s been given
 strategies to help her with this but she needs to use them, it’s
reliant on her being able to recognise when she does and that’s
where you might have to help her.” Lauren considered her mom’s
words and thought they were probably true. She recalled how
Camila had wanted them to go back upstairs after her mom had
come home yesterday, how she’d tried to initiate sex again
despite the fact that they’d almost been caught out only a few
moments before and had somewhere else they needed to be. It
had taken Lauren to stop the situation from progressing any
further than it had, to be the voice of reason, but despite Camila’s
articulate and very much logical response to her concerns, she
had listened and nothing more had happened between them. “So
are you going to tell her mom?” Lauren asked and Clara shook her
head. “As far as I’m concerned this goes no further than the two
of us,” Clara replied, “but that is dependent on you. If I find out
that you’ve been lying to me again or come home to the same
scenario that I did yesterday I’ll have no choice but to tell your
father and Camila’s parents. Is that understood?” “Yes,” Lauren
replied grateful for her mom’s lenience. “Thank you.” “Now, as to
your punishment,” she said. “You’re grounded for a month
starting from tomorrow.” “A month?” Lauren complained. “Do
you want to make it two?” her mom asked. “A month,” Lauren
accepted.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trialsand-
tribulationschapter52 6/11 “You’re not allowed out except for
 school and softball,” she said. “No internet, no phone and no
allowance.” “Ok,” Lauren said dejectedly. “Camila can come over
when we’re home,” Clara said and Lauren’s face grew in to a wide
grin at the her mom’s mercy, “but only when we’re here and your
banned from going upstairs to your room together for the
duration of your grounding. If you want to watch TV you’ll have to
do it in either the living room or the study.” “Really?” Lauren
asked. “Camila can still come over?” “I think the fact that you’ve
been separated for the last ten weeks is probably punishment
enough.” Clara answered truthfully. “I’m not a complete tyrant
after all.” “Thank you,” Lauren responded brightly, bouncing
around the counter to hug her mom in gratitude just as the front
door bell rang. “I am going to talk to you dad and tell him that I’ve
had concerns about you being alone together upstairs,” Clara
informed her. “If he asks I’ll tell him that I’ve spoken to you about
it and that the rule is that your bedroom is off limits for the time
being.” “Ok,” Lauren agreed instantly. “It’s up to you whether you
choose to tell Camila all or any of what we’ve just spoken about,”
Clara left with her daughter. “As for me, I’ll not mention it to her
and we needn’t speak of it again, alright?” “Thank you,” Lauren
acknowledged again. “You’re the best.” “You should probably get
the door.” Clara responded, a smile on her lips at her daughters’
elation. Lauren made her way quickly to the hallway and opened
the front door, a bright grin on her face as she came face to face
with Camila who was brandishing a bunch of flowers in her hand.
 “Hi,” the small brunette greeted warmly, stretching out her arm
and offering the flowers to Lauren. “I bought you some flowers.”
“I can see that,” Lauren noted taking hold of the bouquet and
smelling the multicoloured petals. “Thank you,” she said, “they’re
beautiful.” She stepped aside for Camila to come in and closed the
door behind her for a moment, wandering back in to the kitchen
to put them in some water. “Morning Mrs Jauregui,” Camila
greeted waving at Lauren’s mom who was busy washing up as
Lauren found a vase in the cupboard and arranged the flowers in
them. “Morning Camila,” Clara returned smiling brightly at her
daughter’s girlfriend with an amused expression on her face.
“Ithought I’d told you to call me Clara?” she asked. “You did?”
Camila asked and Clara nodded her head. “I guess I forgot. I’m
sorry.” She apologised. “It’s ok,” Clara replied reaching for the
cloth to dry her hands as Lauren walked over to the sink to fill her
vase with water. “Look what Camila bought for me,” Lauren said,
showing the tulips to her mom as she finished supplying them
with some sustenance and placing them safely on to the kitchen
counter. “They’re beautiful,” Clara remarked. “I wish your dad
would buy me some.” She addressed to Lauren. “I can’t
remember the last time he did.” “They’re tulips,” Camila said,
stepping forward and pointing to the flowers. “I can see that,”
Clara responded amused. “They’re some of my favourite.” “I
asked the guy at the shop what all the different flowers meant,”
Camila explained. “You know, whether you gave certain ones for
specific occasions and he was telling me that when you give tulips
to someone it means ‘love.’” “I’ve heard roses also mean that,”
Clara informed her lightly. “They do,” Camila said excitedly, “but,
different coloured tulips represent different things,” she
continued. “So the red ones mean love,” Camila told them both.
“The http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trials-
andtribulationschapter52 7/11 yellow means there’s sunshine in
your smile and cheerful thoughts, these multicoloured ones
here,” Camila said pointing to a red and yellow flower near the
front of the bunch. “They mean that you have beautiful eyes.” She
said smiling at Lauren widely. Camila paused for a moment and bit
her bottom lip as she tried to recall the rest of the meanings.
“Umm, this one,” she continued pointing to a pink tulip in the
vase. “This means affection and caring.” She shared, “and the
cream one here means I will love you forever.” “Well if you could
pass all the information on to Lauren’s dad I’d be grateful,” Clara’s
joked, touched by the obvious effort Camila had gone to in order
to get Lauren flowers which represented how she felt. “You know
I got you the multicoloured ones because you have really pretty
eyes,” Camila told Lauren, as though the meaning hadn’t been
obvious, “and you have a really beautiful smile,” she continued to
explain, lost once again in her own ramblings. “It lights up your
whole face.” “Camz,” Lauren said but Camila was pointing at the
pink tulips again and had already moved on with her thoughts. “I
got you these one’s because of how much you care for me and I
 care for you,” she said, “and well, I think the red one’s are self-
explanatory.” She mused. “I was actually going to get you just one
colour but and then I thought that they were all relevant so I
ended up buying you a whole bunch of different ones…” “Camz,”
Lauren interrupted more forcefully then before, an amused
expression on her face. “Yeah,” Camila said, inhaling deeply after
having spoken so quickly. “I get the message,” she said. “You’re an
adorable romantic.” “I mean, they’re nothing much,” Camila
responded, contradicting everything she’d just said. “I just… I
thought they were pretty and you’re pretty,” she rambled once
again, “so I bought them for you because I want today to be
perfect and special, you know, without any drama or anything…”
Lauren gave her mom a meaningful look and decided against
telling Camila about the conversation she’d just had with the
older woman, at least until tomorrow, when she’d have to share
the fact that she was grounded and the new terms placed upon
their time together. “That’s really sweet,” Clara said wistfully and
putting a hand on Camila’s shoulder. “What it is to be young and
in love?” she noted warmly. “Yeah, but you’re still in love right?”
she asked Clara and she smiled in response. “Yes,” Clara agreed,
“but it’s different when you’re older. Sometimes you lose all the
little gestures in the responsibility of being an adult.” “Why?”
Camila asked, genuinely interested. “I don’t know,” Clara
answered honestly, “maybe because we grow forgetful and we
don’t appreciate the little things like we used to. I guess we
 become too complacent.” “What if something happens though?”
Camila asked. “You’d rather have told or shown someone that you
love them instead of leaving them uncertain and questioning
wouldn’t you?” Clara smiled at Camila’s insight, understanding
that what appeared on the outside to be naivety was actually a
wisdom which stemmed from her appreciation of how short life
could be. “Ithink so,” Clara answered. “I’d definitely rather they
knew for sure.” “Me too,” Camila agreed joyfully, her grin growing
wide once more. “You two have a good time today,” Clara said,
walking over and kissing Lauren on the cheek. “You enjoy
yourselves alright,” she instructed, looking at Lauren
meaningfully, her daughter nodding her head in comprehension
of her mom’s words. “We will,” Camila answered, waving as Clara
vacated the room and made her way upstairs.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trialsand-
tribulationschapter52 8/11 “Hi,” Lauren said when her mom was
gone and Camila laughed with a confused look on her face. “Hi,”
she returned as Lauren stepped forward and kissed her
affectionately on the lips in a proper greeting. “Thank you for the
flowers,” she said again. “You’re welcome,” Camila replied. “Are
you ready to go?” she asked. “Let me just grab my car keys from
upstairs,” Lauren told her. “No don’t,” Camila stopped her,
grabbing hold of her wrist and holding her firmly in place as she’d
turned to go up to her room. “You don’t need them.” “Camila you
can’t drive,” Lauren reminded her. “Your epileptic, remember?”
 “No I know that,” Camila said, a secretive glint to her eye, “but,
you’re not driving.” “I’m not,” Lauren asked chuckling at her
girlfriend’s evasiveness. “No, I’ve gotten us a chauffeur for the
day,” she explained. “Ally’s going to drive us in her car. Is that
alright?” “Ally’s going to drive us around all day?” Lauren
questioned. “Yes, she’ll even drop us off at the concert and pick us
up again.” Camila disclosed. “Why?” Lauren asked amused. “I
asked her to,” Camila answered, taking hold of Lauren’s hand and
leading her out towards the door. “When did you ask her to do
this?” she continued with her inquisition. Lauren picked up her
purse and a jacket whilst Camila opened the door and held it for
her to exit through. “Two weeks ago,” Camila said. “Now enough
with the twenty questions and let’s go.” She requested, gesturing
Lauren through the door and out onto the path outside. Lauren
felt her smile grow exponentially at the sight of Ally, standing at
the bottom of the drive holding the back door of her car open for
them, a chauffeur’s hat perched securely on her head. “Morning,”
Ally greeted Lauren vibrantly when she reached her. “Have a
seat,” she instructed and Lauren shook her head in disbelief
before lowering herself in to the back of her car, Camila following
shortly after her. Ally closed the door behind them and got in to
the driver’s seat, quickly putting the car into drive and pulling
onto the road. “So where are we going?” Lauren asked, taking
hold of Camila’s hand and playing with her fingers out of habit.
“It’s a surprise,” Camila told her and Lauren, swept away in the
 mystery of it all, didn’t ask any further questions. “Hey, I know
this song,” Lauren noted, listening to the music which Ally was
playing on the stereo system. “Is this Latch?” “Yeah,” Camila
confirmed gladly. “You remember it?” she asked. “Of course I do,”
Lauren told her. “This is a mixed CD that I made of all the songs
which remind me of you,” Camila explained as the current song
finished and changed to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Kiss Me.’ “I don’t
understand what I’ve done to warrant all this today,” Lauren
expressed a little confused. “Did I miss some kind of anniversary
or something?” she asked tentatively. “No,” Camila said, nudging
her slightly. “I just wanted to do something nice for you that’s all.
Call it a late Valentine’s day present if you want.” “You already got
me a Valentine’s day present,” Lauren reminded her. “Yes, but
you got me a puppy and I played you a song on my guitar.” She
stated. “Somehow I don’t think they equate to the same thing.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67310766850/trialsand-
tribulationschapter52 9/11 “Why are you such a dork?” Lauren
asked her. “I don’t know I think it’s genetic,” Camila joked and
Lauren leant over to kiss her softly on the lips as Ally pulled the
car to a stop at the same secluded spot at the beach where they’d
spent time together on New Year’s Day. “For some reason I think I
knew you were bringing me here,” Lauren chuckled when she
realised their destination but she stopped when she saw the
blanket set up on the sand, a large picnic basket beside it and
Normani standing nearby with a huge grin plastered on her face
 and Lauren’s reaction. “You set up a picnic?” Lauren asked. “A
girl’s got to eat,” Camila smiled as Ally stepped out and opened
the door for them both. Camila climbed out first and held out a
hand for Lauren who took it willingly and allowed her girlfriend to
assist her out of the car. “Thanks Ally,” Camila said as she started
leading Lauren over to the blanket. “No problem,” Ally said
climbing back in to the car and sitting inside to wait patiently for
her next duty. “Hi guys,” Normani greeted as Lauren and Camila
approached her, the latter girl offering a small wave in greeting.
“Hi,” she returned. “Thanks for this.” She said. “Sure,” Normani
responded, handing Camila something which Lauren didn’t see.
“Have fun,” she said, lifting one eyebrow in Lauren’s direction, a
smirk evident on her features as she made her way to Ally’s car
and joined her inside. “First flowers,” Lauren noted approvingly as
Camila guided her down on to the blanket, “then a picnic on the
beach…” she said trailing off. “Could this day get any better?” she
asked laughing. “Yes,” Camila answered knowingly, “Especially if
you like Nutella,” she commented, kneeling down in front of the
picnic basket and opening it up to retrieve a small tub she’d
bought with her. “Here,” she said, sitting down and offering
Lauren a small teaspoon and keeping one for herself. She opened
the tub and held it out for Lauren to take a scoop, her girlfriend
obliging happily and taking a mouthful as they sat facing the
direction of the water, looking out at the ships that floated in the
distance. “This is probably the best picnic I’ve been on,” Lauren
told her, forgoing the spoon and dipping her index finger into the
Nutella to retrieve some more. “There’s actually some more food
in there for a little later,” Camila told her. “You mean it’s not just
this,” Lauren asked, taking another scoop of the hazelnut spread
and holding up her index finger for a moment before sucking at
the Nutella there and removing it. “No,” Camila answered. She
paused for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Are
you alright?” Lauren asked, noting Camila’s sudden silence.
“Yeah,” Camila answered. “It’s just. We have to talk.”
Chapter 53
A/N: I’ve literally had the shittiest week so I’m sorry this has taken
so long to reach you all. Thanks for your patience and I can only
hope that you enjoy it x “We have to talk?” Lauren asked, a sense
of dread coming over her at the seriousness of Camila’s tone. “It’s
just…” Camila started hesitantly, her gaze fixed firmly on the tub
of Nutella in her right hand, her left fiddling with the teaspoon
distractedly. “It’s just what Camz?” Lauren asked anxiously when
she didn’t continue. “Are you breaking up with me?” “What?”
Camila responded, her head snapping up and her attention
returning to the brunette sat beside her. “No of course I’m not.
Why would you even ask me that?” “Nothing ever good comes
from a conversation that starts with ‘we have to talk,’” Lauren
told her, recalling the bouquet of flowers and the picnic Camila
had set up for her. “Is that what all this is about?” she asked
interestedly, gesturing to the blanket they were sat on and the
 picnic basket beside them. “Did you set this all up to soften the
blow of what you’re going to say?” “No,” Camila answered
truthfully. “I mean, maybe a little bit but, I wanted to do all this
for you,” she disclosed. “Ithought that it would be nice, you know,
to spend today doing something special together. Especially with
the concert later on…”She trailed off and Lauren waited patiently
thinking that she would continue. “Ok…” Lauren said with a
puzzled expression on her face when Camila didn’t go on. “That
still doesn’t explain what we have to talk about though.” She
noted. “Are you ok?” she asked. “I mean, you’re not like, dying or
anything are you?” she questioned worriedly. The corner of
Camila’s mouth turned up in a halfsmile and she deposited the
teaspoon she held in her left hand in to the tub of Nutella in her
right. “We’re all dying Lauren,” she commented simply and Lauren
felt her stomach lurch at the somewhat evasive answer. “What
does that mean?” Lauren said, her voice coming out panicked, her
pitch increasing slightly as a result of her concern. “Are you sick?”
“No,” Camila said, reaching out her free hand to place it on
Lauren’s forearm reassuringly, her fingertips grazing the skin
there as they stroked it gently. “I’m fine. I promise. I’m not dying
any more than you are.” She assured her. “Ok, well you’re kind of
freaking me out a little bit here Camz,” Lauren informed her
girlfriend, placing her free hand on top of Camila’s and picking it
up to lace their fingers together, “So, whatever is it that you’ve
got to say, can you just say it? I’m picturing all kinds of horrible
 scenarios in my head and I think I’d rather you just put me out of
my misery if it’s something bad.” “It’s not bad,” Camila
responded, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “At least, I don’t think it is
but, Ijust…I don’t want you to take what I say the wrong way,
that’s all.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 2/13 Lauren remembered back to the
conversation that she’d had with her mom this morning regarding
Camila and thought that she finally understood the direction that
the conversation was headed in. “Oh,” Lauren said, realisation
dawning on her. “Is this about you being able to do more for
yourself?” she asked Camila, a sense of relief washing over her
that it might be nothing more serious than that. “Who told you?”
Camila asked surprised and Lauren bit her bottom lip for a
moment feeling slightly embarrassed. “My mom might have
mentioned something to me,” she admitted tentatively. “She told
me that your mom had talked to her about you wanting to be able
to have more independence now that you’re home.” “Alright, so I
guess we don’t need to talk too much then,” Camila laughed light-
heartedly at Lauren’s revelation. “I mean, what do you think
about it?” she asked hesitantly. “About you having more
independence?” Lauren questioned and Camila nodded her head
in response. “Camz I’d do anything to help you,” Lauren said
supportively, placing her own teaspoon in to the tub of Nutella
and her now free hand against the side of Camila’s face lovingly.
 “You know that right?” “Yes,” Camila answered, chuckling to
herself and pressing the side of her cheek in to Lauren’s palm
more firmly. “That’s kind of the problem though.” “What do you
mean?” Lauren responded confused. “You’re amazing,” Camila
stated conclusively tilting her head back into a more neutral
position. “You are Lauren,” she reaffirmed. “Even when we
weren’t dating, right back at the start of our friendship, you were
always there to help and support me in everything.” She
continued. “I don’t want you to think that I’m ungrateful because
I’m not. I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me
and everything that you still do for me…” “You don’t want me to
do them any more though,” Lauren finished for Camila when her
girlfriend failed to complete her sentence, her voice instead
fading out doubtfully. “I know it’s ridiculous,” Camila said, rolling
her eyes slightly. “I’m being ridiculous. I know.” “You’re not
ridiculous,” Lauren countered. “I am,” Camila disagreed. “I mean,
the things you do for me, they’re small, you know? It’s like, you’ll
open the door for me or carry my bag.” She informed her. “Or
you’ll help me in and out of the car and its sweet…” She noted.
“Chivalrous even…” “But?” Lauren pressed knowingly. “I think
they’re normal things to do when you’re in a relationship,” Camila
continued, ignoring Lauren’s prompt for the negative part of the
conversation to begin. “I think that if you were in a relationship
with anyone else, it wouldn’t matter…” “I’m in a relationship with
you,” Lauren reminded her. “So it does matter Camz, especially if
you don’t like me doing it…” “No,” Camila interrupted. “See, that’s
exactly what I don’t want you to think Lauren. It’s not that I don’t
like it when you do those things for me, it’s just that sometimes
Ifeel like you do them because you don’t think that I can.” “So you
want to know my motivation behind helping you?” Lauren asked
her, trying to understand Camila’s concerns so that she could
quell them. Camila nodded almost imperceptibly in response and
Lauren sighed as she thought of the best way to respond. “I don’t
know why I do it,” Lauren answered honestly after a pause. “I’ll
admit that initially it was because you couldn’t do things for
yourself,” she continued. “You struggled with your bag at school
and you kept falling out of the car, so…I started to help you with
those things. I guess that I’ve been doing it for you for so long
now that they’ve just become like second nature to me.” She
admitted. “So now, when we’re walking together I’ll find myself
with the sudden urge to put my arm around your waist to steady
you, or I’ll want to pour you something to drink when we’re
watching movies with the girls because I know how embarrassed
you are when you spill it all over the floor…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 3/13 “I know that you’re doing it for me,”
Camila said, “but sometimes it makes me feel like…” “It makes
you feel like what Camz?” Lauren prompted sensing Camila’s
hesitation. “It’s ok, you can tell me. I won’t be upset, I promise.”
“Sometimes it makes me feel like you don’t believe in me,” Camila
 explained, “it makes me feel like I can’t do it, that I’m
incapable…and that…that makes me feel bad Lauren. It makes me
feel like we’re not equal and I hate that.” Lauren’s brow creased
in response to Camila’s words, but she said nothing in reply as she
contemplated her girlfriend’s words. “Now you’re upset,” Camila
said feeling guilty for even bringing it up at all. “No,” Lauren
answered truthfully. “I’m not upset I’m just…it makes you feel
bad?” she asked her. “You mean, depressed?” Camila nodded her
head. “When I was away at rehab I had to do everything for
myself,” Camila shared with Lauren. “I was made to and honestly,
at the beginning, it was really hard sometimes.” She continued. “I
cannot tell you the number of times that I spilt a drink or came
down to breakfast with my shirt buttons done up incorrectly, but,
I tried.” She disclosed. “It was frustrating and tediously time
consuming sometimes,” Camila explained. “Everything took me
twice as long and I would get annoyed and irritated with myself
because I thought I should be able to do it and I couldn’t. I’d ask
the staff for help and they wouldn’t give me any, not unless it was
something that could potentially hurt me, like the time I tried to
pour scalding water out of the kettle. They stepped in pretty
quickly then,” she laughed, amused at the memory. “They told me
it was important for me to get my independence back and they
were right, because as discouraged as it made me feel when I
couldn’t do something, I felt incredible when I could.” She
divulged with a smile on her face. Lauren returned her smile as
Camila continued. “I was so used to failing that I’d forgotten what
it was like to succeed,” the smaller girl continued. “It’s amazing
how something as small as pouring a glass of juice without spilling
any can feel like the biggest achievement in the world but it did,
and the days that I could come down to breakfast and say that I’d
buttoned my shirt up correctly were always excellent days. It
makes me feel good to be able to look after myself.” “I believe in
you Camz,” Lauren reassured her. “If I was ever going to bet on
someone to come out the other side of this, then it’d be you.” She
shared with her. “So, I’ll stop opening the door for you,” Lauren
said, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on Camila’s lips for a
moment, “and I’ll stop carrying your bag.” She continued, her
smile broadening as she kissed Camila on the lips again. “In fact,”
she started mischievously. “Perhaps it would make you feel better
if I just let you do those things for me for a while.” She suggested,
“A role reversal so to speak. That way you can practice even
more.” Camila’s tongue stuck out through her lips slightly as she
smiled and Lauren felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach at
the sight of her girlfriends’ elation. “You’d do that for me?” Camila
asked playfully. “Let me be your slave for a while.” “If it would
help,” Lauren replied, her thumb stroking the back of Camila’s
hand affectionately. “I know that you’re only teasing,” Camila
responded lightly, “but I actually think that it would help.” “In that
case consider it done,” Lauren told her. “I’ll stop doing things for
you and instead, you can do things for me, within reason of
 course.” She paused for a moment considering something. “I
mean, you might have to tell me to stop what I’m doing or remind
me to let you do it every once in a while though,” Lauren
informed her seriously. “It really has become a habit, you know?”
“I will,” Camila reassured her. “Now that I know that it won’t
upset you.” “Can I ask you something?” Lauren said pulling
Camila’s hand towards her a little. “Sure,” Camila answered.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 4/13 “Were you really worried about how
I’d react?” she asked. “No not really,” Camila told her truthfully.
“I’ve just been waiting for the right time to talk to you, that’s all.
Yesterday didn’t really seem like the appropriate time what with
your mom coming home,” she shared. “Then we went for dinner
with the other girls at the diner and your exgirlfriend turned up…”
“Clare wasn’t my girlfriend,” Lauren reminded her. “Whatever,”
Camila laughed, nudging Lauren slightly in the side with her
elbow. “You know what I mean.” “Well, I’m glad you told me,”
Lauren said, wrapping one arm around Camila’s shoulders and
pulling her in close to her side, the two of them facing the ocean
again. “Me too,” Camila agreed, resting her head against Lauren’s
shoulder as they took in the panorama before them. They sat
together like this for a while, a comfortable silence settling
between the pair of them as they admired the view. “That’s not
the only thing I wanted to talk to you about today,” Camila
admitted her voice quiet and thoughtful as she lifted her head off
 Lauren’s shoulder and turned to face her girlfriend. “It wasn’t?”
the taller girl asked, running a hand through her hair as her green
eyes met the brown of her Camila’s. “No,” Camila said, reaching
her hand in to her jacket pocket where it remained hidden as she
continued. “I wanted to talk to you about something else too.”
“Ok,” Lauren encouraged, twisting her torso so that she was
facing Camila in order to save her neck from the strain of looking
over her shoulder. Camila dropped her gaze to her lap and Lauren
could see the smaller girl’s right hand moving inside her jacket
pocket, toying with something inside of it nervously. “So, despite
the small bump we had a few weeks back,” Camila started, her
face betraying her obvious nerves and causing Lauren to reach a
hand out to rub her knee supportively, emboldening her to
continue. “We’ve been together for what?” she asked rhetorically.
“Six months?” “Something like that,” Lauren confirmed, squeezing
Camila’s knee firmly, a soft smile on her lips. “Well, I kind of
thought that was worth commemorating,” Camila explained, her
hand still moving around in her pocket uneasily. “Isn’t that what
we’re already doing?” Lauren noted gesturing at the picnic Camila
had setup. “No, I mean with something special.” Camila clarified.
“This isn’t special?” Lauren asked laughing in disbelief at Camila’s
apparent definition of the word. “No it is,” she said, “but, I mean, I
wanted it to be really special…” “Camz babe,” Lauren said gently,
“you’re starting to ramble again and I’m beginning to get a little
bit lost.” Camila sighed and pulled her hand out of her pocket, a
 small box in her grasp. “Oh shit,” Lauren cursed, her eyes falling
on the black velvet case. She lifted her hand off Camila’s knee to
hold it up between the two of them and bent her wrist forward,
her index finger pointing to the object, her mouth agape. “Camz,
please tell me that isn’t what Ithink it is…” she started, feeling
panicked. Camila held the box out in front of her and opened it
slowly to reveal a small silver ring inside. “Ok,” Lauren said
quickly, her hand reaching out to close the box before Camila
could say anything. “Let’s just slow down for a minute alright?”
she asked as she stood up from where she was sat swiftly, her
feet moving back and forth in a steady rhythm as she paced in
front of the smaller girl.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 5/13 “Lauren,” Camila began, standing up
and placing a hand on her girlfriends’ shoulder to stop her. “No
listen,” Lauren rushed to interrupt as she turned to meet her
girlfriend’s steady gaze. “I love you Camz, I do and I want to be
with you forever but, you can’t do this now,” she informed
Camila. “It’s too soon. I mean, we’re juniors in high school.” She
told her girlfriend as though she was unaware of that fact. “We’ve
only been dating for six months…” “You know I’m not completely
mental Lauren,” Camila laughed interjecting goodhumouredly, her
other hand coming up to rest on Lauren’s opposite shoulder, the
small box stilled clasped within it. “I…” “Please don’t do this,”
Lauren pleaded, lifting Camila’s hands off her shoulders and
 lowering them into the space between hers and Camila’s bodies,
ignoring her girlfriends’ words, her mind working overtime. “I
don’t want to have to say ‘no’ because I don’t think my heart
could handle the look on your face afterwards.” She stated, “but I
can’t say ‘yes’ either…” “Lauren there isn’t a question attached to
this ring,” Camila told her bluntly, an amused expression on her
face at Lauren’s misinterpretation of the situation. “There isn’t?”
she asked as her eyes dared to glance back down at the velvet
case in Camila’s right hand. “No,” Camila reassured her as she
tugged on Lauren’s hand and prompted her to sit back down on
the blanket. “There’s no question.” She reiterated, sitting beside
Lauren who had now returned to her former position, her face
still betraying her shock at the turn of events. “Only a promise,”
Camila finished, lifting the small box back up in between herself
and Lauren once more. “A promise?” Lauren questioned, her eyes
falling back on to the container as Camila opened it to reveal the
silver ring a second time, the metal shining brightly in the midday
sun. “During the last counselling session that I had at rehab my
therapist told me the importance of not making myself any
pledges or promises that would be difficult to keep,” Camila
disclosed, picking the ring up out of the box and placing the black
case aside out of the way, the small piece of jewellery now held
securely between her index finger and thumb. “She said that if I
were to promise myself anything it should be small and
achievable, or something that was meaningful to me, that I was
 committed towards,” She continued, giving Lauren a meaningful
look. Camila stretched out her hand, the small silver loop sitting in
her palm as she offered the ring to Lauren. “Take it,” Camila
prompted and Lauren did as she was instructed, picking up the
ring and examining it closely. The ring was a plain silver band,
engraved with the shape of an anchor in the middle of it, delicate
waves either side, covering the rest of the otherwise smooth
shiny surface. “There’s an engraving on the inside,” Camila said
and Lauren tilted the ring slightly in order to read it, a smile
forming on her lips as she did. “A smooth sea never made a skilled
sailor” “Camz this ring is beautiful,” Lauren said, offering the
trinket back to her girlfriend who took it once again, “but I can’t
accept it.” “Before you completely dismiss the idea,” Camila said,
her eyes dropping to the ring for an instant. “Just let me explain
why I bought it for you.” “Alright,” Lauren agreed and Camila held
the ring up slightly to catch the light, twirling it around in her right
hand for a moment before dropping it back down into her lap and
meeting Lauren’s eyes again. “This quote means something to
me,” Camila told her, “it means a lot to me actually, just like you
do.” She said, making a fist around the ring protectively so as not
to drop it. “My dad first told me that quote when I was younger
and I shared that story with you on our first date, right on this
very beach,” she reminded her. “So it’s significant, at least, to me
it is.” “I know,” Lauren reassured her. “It’s significant to me to.”
She shared. “It reminds me of you, of us.”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 6/13 “Right,” Camila acknowledged, lifting
the ring back up in front of Lauren between her index finger and
thumb as she continued. “Well, when I came back from rehab
initially,” she went on. “You used this quote and the metaphorical
nautical theme to describe our relationship and the turbulence
we’d experienced along the way. You said that we’d hit a patch of
bad weather on our journey, that the waters were rough but that
it was important for us to experience them, to navigate them
together in order to become more skilled at dealing with the
inevitable storms that we’d face later on in our relationship. You
understood that for every clear, sunny day and smooth sea that
we’re blessed with there would be an equal number of wild and
tempestuous ones.” Camila lifted her gaze from the ring to look
back up at Lauren who was watching her intently, enthralled by
her words. “This is a promise ring,” Camila said, holding the small
band up between them again. “A promise ring?” Lauren asked
her, not entirely sure of the names importance. “Yes,” Camila
said, “They can have a lot of different meanings,” she told Lauren,
“the most traditional being that it is used to signify a commitment
to a monogamous relationship with whomever you give it to.”
“What are its other meanings?” Lauren asked, smiling brightly at
her girlfriends’ gesture. “It can sometimes be used as a pre-
engagement ring,” Camila answered honestly. “Is that what it is in
this case?” Lauren asked nervously, feeling a little bit
 overwhelmed by the depth of Camila’s obvious dedication. “Not
officially,” Camila replied uncertainly. “I mean, not if you don’t
want it to be….I just…” she stammered unsure how to express
herself articulately without scaring Lauren. “It’s ok,” Lauren
reassured her, feeling slightly placated by Camila’s evident
anxieties. “You can tell me.” “I just….ok,” Camila resolved, sighing
audibly, “I love you.” She declared simply and Lauren couldn’t
help but smile at the ease with which she expressed it. “I could
tell you all the reasons why but you already know them,” Camila
continued. “There’s nothing new to add to the list.” Camila
paused for a moment, shuffling a little bit closer to Lauren, her
left hand finding the brunette’s knee and coming to rest on it
tenderly. “You once told me that when you think of the future you
see us together,” Camila recalled, “and when I think of the future
the only certainty that I know is that I want you to be in it.” She
told her. “You are my anchor Lauren,” Camila expressed sincerely.
“You are one of the very few constant things in my life that I can
latch on to for stability when everything around me is falling apart
at the seams.” She paused momentarily before adding
meaningfully, “When I’m falling apart at the seams.” Camila took
hold of one of Lauren’s hands in her own. “You are consistent and
reliable Lauren.” She told her. “You’re steadfast and unmoving in
your support of me.” She went on, “and I feel safe with you,
secure in our relationship because Itrust you implicitly.” Camila
paused once again, her eyes dropping to the floor for a moment,
 thoughtful. “I know that with you; my anchor, by my side, I can
get through any storm,” she shared eloquently. “You give me the
strength to hold on so that I don’t get swept up in the choppy
water and lose myself in the vastness of the ocean. You help me
stay grounded,” she continued. “You help me to ride out the
storm and see the blue clear skies when it finally breaks.” “Camz,”
Lauren said, thinking her girlfriend had finished. “No…just…I know
it sounds sappy and cliché,” Camila pressed on, “but that doesn’t
make it any less true Lauren.” She told her. “After the accident
you gave me hope for a future that I was almost certain that I
didn’t want. You gave me hope that the future that you
envisioned for us could be a reality one day and I think that if it
was, if it did come to pass, well, then I could die knowing that I
had lived the best life that I possibly could have.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 7/13 “Babe,” Lauren practically sighed,
tears stinging the corner of her eyes, her hand coming to rest
against the side of Camila’s cheek. “It’s not a preengagement
ring,” Camila stated simply. “It’s so much more than that.” She
said pausing for an instant. “It might sound like a lot to handle
right now, but I always want you to be a part of my life, the
biggest part of it. I want the future that you pictured; the house
on the beach and the warm summer days spent out on the deck
admiring the ocean. I want you to be a part of my life forever and
when Ithink about the person that I want to spend all my days
with it’s you. There are no variations. It’s always you, every time.”
Camila moved her left hand to take hold of Lauren’s and lifted the
ring up in her right, just in front of Lauren’s index finger, as
though she were going to slip it on to the digit. “My therapist told
me not to make any promises to myself that I couldn’t keep,”
Camila stated, returning to the original topic of discussion. “She
said that if I was going to promise myself anything that it should
be achievable, it should be meaningful and I should be willing to
commit to it.” Camila inhaled deeply, readying herself to say what
she wanted to. “I’m committed to you Lauren,” Camila declared,
“and I promise that I will try to show you every single day from
now on that your faith in me and your continued support isn’t
misplaced. I promise to love myself for the person that I am now,”
she said meaningfully, “because I know that if someone as
amazing as you, who is patient and kind, who I respect and trust,
can find something in me worth loving, then it is there. I can’t
promise that I won’t doubt myself or that I won’t struggle from
time to time, but, every day I will make a note of one thing that
Ilove, just one and that will be enough.” Camila slipped the ring on
to Lauren’s left index finger, the brunette saying nothing in
protest, a smile on her lips all the while. “I promise to get out of
bed every morning,” Camila went on, “to face the day and
whatever challenges it might bring. I promise to say something
nice to compliment you if you’re having a bad day and to
recognise that your feelings are important too, that our
relationship isn’t just about me and my struggles, but about yours
as well. I’m committed to showing you that you can count on me
to be there, to not check out and lose myself again. I want you to
be able to trust that I won’t drown under the weight of your
problems and that you can be honest with me if there’s
something you aren’t coping with. I promise that I will listen but I
can’t promise that I’ll know all the answers that you need. I
promise to be there, but, I can’t promise I will always be able to
do anything more than that.” Lauren opened her mouth as though
to say something but closed it again when she saw Camila was
about to continue. “I can’t promise that I’ll be perfect Lauren,”
she declared. “I can’t promise that it won’t be hard or difficult,
but, I promise to try my best. I’m going to try my best because I’m
committed to you and I’m committed to us, to weathering all life’s
trials and tribulations together, to traversing the tumultuous
waves during each and every storm, and to living. I’m committed
to living Lauren, for as long as God’s grace permits me to do so.”
Lauren didn’t say anything for a moment, her brain trying to come
up with something equally as moving to share in return. In the
end, when nothing inspiring came to her, she settled on speaking
the plain simple truth. “I don’t know what to say,” she finally said,
her eyes sparkling brightly, her mouth wide and showing her
teeth as she grinned. “Say that you’ll wear the ring,” Camila
encouraged lightheartedly. “Of course I will,” Lauren assured her,
admiring the small silver band on her middle finger and
 everything that it signified, Camila’s words pacifying her worries.
“You will?” Camila asked. “Yes,” Lauren replied smiling, “because
despite what you might think we are equal Camz and Ilove you so
much.” “You do?” Camila asked her. “I want everything that you
said too,” Lauren told her. “I want that future for us as well.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 8/13 “It’s not a preengagement ring,”
Camila reminded her, “Not exactly. It’s a promise ring. A promise
that until the day that we’re ready to be engaged I’m committed
to you and only you. I don’t want to be with anyone else when
I’ve already found the one person that makes me happier than I
could ever imagine.” Lauren leant forward and kissed Camila, her
left hand reaching up to stroke at her girlfriend’s brow delicately,
her fingertips brushing over the scarred skin beneath them. When
they separated, Camila leant in to Lauren’s shoulder and the taller
girl wrapped her arm around Camila’s back, pulling her in to a
hug. For the next hour or so, they sat together eating the
assortment of food which Camila had packed for their picnic and
enjoyed more jovial and frivolous conversation as they listened to
the waves against the shore in front of them. At one point, Camila
wandered down the shore, Lauren’s hand in her own and they
paddled in the cool sea as it licked the coast line tentatively, both
girls enjoying the feel of the sand against their feet as it brushed
back and forth with the slow ebb and wane of the tide. “Come
with me,” Camila prompted, pulling on Lauren’s arm and leading
 her along the water’s edge and away from the remainder of their
lunch. “What about our things?” Lauren asked, turning her head
to glance back up at the basket uncertainly. “Normani will take
care of it,” Camila assured her, the free hand holding her converse
swinging backwards and forwards as they wandered along the
coast. Lauren cast one quick look back over her shoulder, the
picnic basket getting smaller and smaller behind them, Normani’s
form recognisable as she cleared everything up after them. “How
did you convince the others to waste their entire Saturday helping
you out?” Lauren asked Camila amused as she turned her
attention back to her girlfriend who was watching a boat in the
distance. “Who said that I needed to convince them to do
anything?” Camila asked in all seriousness. “You mean they
offered?” Lauren questioned surprise. “No, I mean that I asked
them and they agreed without hesitation.” Camila said. “Why?”
Lauren queried. “Turns out I’m not the only person who loves
you,” Camila informed her, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “I’m not the
only person that loves you either am I?” Lauren acknowledged as
she spotted Dinah in the distance, the tall girl sitting on a bench
away from the beach in an enclosed area for dogs. Lauren noted
Jasper sat under the bench by Dinah’s feet and she smiled,
knowing that Camila had set up this up as well. “No,” Camila
agreed waving at Dinah as they moved away from the water and
up towards the landscaped area, “but don’t worry, Dinah snores
so she’s not much competition for you.” “Good to know,” Lauren
 laughed as they came up to the boardwalk and crossed over it to
the grassed area behind, the two girls pausing momentarily to
rinse of their feet and put their shoes back on. “Fancy seeing you
here,” Dinah greeted as they approached, her eyes dropping
down to Lauren’s hand and a large smile gracing her lips at the
sight of the promise ring on her finger. “I was just taking Jasper
here for a walk and we thought we’d have a little break, didn’t we
Jasper?” Dinah crouched down to remove the leash from Jaspers
collar and the puppy bound forward to jump up at Lauren’s legs
excitedly. “Hey boy,” Lauren greeted him happily, stroking the
chocolate brown fur on the top of his head as he licked her hand
enthusiastically. “Thanks Dinah,” Camila said, holding out her
hand for Jaspers’ leash, the Polynesian girl handing it over
reluctantly. “I really appreciate this. We won’t be long alright?”
“Take your time,” Dinah responded as Lauren lifted her gaze to
meet hers, her lips curving in a smile at the smirk she found on
the taller girls face. “I’m not going
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 9/13 anywhere.” She said, sitting back
down on the bench, her arms stretching out along the back of it as
she crossed her legs. “That’s kind of creepy,” Lauren commented,
standing up, her hand wrapped round a nearby stick that she’d
found on the ground and had picked up. “I could be creepier if
you’re not convinced?” Dinah asked and Lauren turned to throw
the stick a little way, Jasper rushing after it hurriedly. “No that’s
 ok, you’re creepy enough already,” she chuckled reaching for
Camila’s hand and heading in the direction Jasper had run off in,
leaving Dinah alone to watch them as they left. “Here Jasper,”
Camila called, crouching down low and tapping her knees
excitedly, the small dog, turning his attention in her direction, the
small stick in his mouth as he made his way back towards her.
“Drop it,” she instructed and Jasper obeyed, sitting patiently at
Camila’s feet whilst she picked up the stick. “Ok,” she said,
throwing it again. “Fetch,” she said and Jasper sprang up and
vaulted off in search of it once again. “Today has been perfect so
far,” Lauren told Camila, linking her arm with her girlfriends’ when
she was back on her feet beside her. “Good,” Camila returned
happily as they followed after Jasper. “That’s exactly what I
wanted.” Camila paused for a moment and Lauren didn’t speak to
fill the silence, recognising that the smaller girl had more to say.
“How perfect do you think it’s been?” Camila asked and Lauren
smiled, meeting her questioning gaze. “What do you mean?”
Lauren asked her. “There aren’t degrees of perfect Camz.
Something either is or it isn’t.” “Ok,” Camila allowed as they came
up to Jasper who was chewing on the stick he’d chased, lying on
his stomach, his paws outstretched in front of him. “Well, would
you say it’s been a fairytale?” she asked as Lauren bent down and
picked the stick up, throwing it again for Jasper to chase. “A
fairytale?” Lauren asked her, standing back up, a small smile on
her lips. “Yes, a fairytale.” Camila repeated, grinning broadly. “Is
 this something to do with the fact that I called you my princess
the other night?” Lauren asked confused as Jasper ran back to
them. “Maybe,” Camila said knowingly. “Maybe?” Lauren asked
amused. “You’ll see,” Camila commented before running off at full
speed, Jasper chasing after her gladly, Lauren following the pair of
them. They played with Jasper, throwing the stick for him to chase
and running around in circles excitedly, making him follow them
until the small puppy lay down in the shade of a tree, finally tired
out from his exertions, Lauren and Camila equally as exhausted.
They rested a while, the two of them resting their back against
the bark of a tall tree and their legs outstretched before finally
standing back up, Camila scooping up Jasper in her arms as they
made their way back to Dinah who took him off their hands. After
saying their goodbyes, Camila and Lauren made their way back to
where Ally was parked, Normani now nowhere to be seen, their
picnic things tucked away in the trunk of Ally’s car as the evening
drew in. Ally drove the pair of them to the same batting cages
that they’d visited during their group date, remaining in the car
whilst the two of them occupied themselves inside, Lauren
assisting Camila with her swing to help improve her batting
average, the wooden club colliding more and more with the
speeding ball with each subsequent one hurled in its direction.
“You’re getting better,” Lauren praised her girlfriend as she
removed her helmet and they made their way back towards
reception. “Maybe next year I can join the softball team with
 you,” Camila joked, not for once believing it would be a
possibility, her hand eye coordination being as it was.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 10/13 “I’d like that.” Lauren told her
truthfully and Camila nudged her playfully. “Soft ball is your
thing,” Camila said, handing the helmet back to the guy behind
the desk as Lauren did the same. “I want it to remain that way.”
“You’ll come to the first came of the season next week?” Lauren
asked her. “I wouldn’t miss it,” Camila replied supportively.
“Dinah and I have already discussed making you a sign.” “Are you
serious?” Lauren asked laughing at the thought of what Camila
and Dinah would create if left alone to their own devices. “Yeah,”
she confirmed. “We’ve been talking about the use of puns.” “Ok,
so what have you come up with so far?” Lauren asked interestedly
as they made their way out towards the car. “Well our personal
favourite is, ‘Nice snatch Lauren.’” Camila told her, lifting both her
arms and arching them in front of her like a rainbow as she said it.
Lauren almost choked on the air in her lungs at the pun,
particularly the dirty double meaning behind it. “Oh my God,”
Lauren said laughing. “You cannot use that,” she said seriously.
“My parents come to my softball games.” “Fine,” Camila relented,
pouting slightly as they came to a stop in front of Ally’s car. “We’ll
get back to the drawing board, but, I can’t promise you what we’ll
come up with will be any better than that.” “I’m kind of counting
on it,” Lauren chuckled as Camila opened the door for her to get
in. “Why thank you,” she said gratefully, descending in to the seat
and shuffling over to allow Camila in after her. Following their trip
to the batting cages, Ally dropped them off for a quick meal at
Jimmy’s before finally driving them to the American Airline arena
on Biscayne Boulevard where she dropped them off and promised
to pick them both up after the show. They entered the arena
together, arm in arm and got something to drink before browsing
the merchandise stand, Camila buying both her and Lauren a tour
book each as a keepsake. Finally, they found their way to their
seats and waited for the show to begin, the lights dimming first as
Joel Crouse took to the stage and then again for Ed Sheeran after
a short break. Lauren felt Camila stiffen beside her for an instant
in awe as she watched one of her favourite artists take to the
stage and she squeezed her girlfriends’ hand, drawing her now
wide chocolate eyes to her own. “Happy Christmas,” Lauren said
grinning from ear to ear, her present for Camila finally being
experienced as she’d hoped. Camila smiled brightly at the
reminder and leant over the arm of the chair to kiss Lauren as Ed
Sheeran started singing up on the stage, the sound of ‘Give Me
Love’ echoing through the arena around them, filling their
appreciative ears. Following his brief set, there was a short
intermission before finally, the lights dimmed one final time and
Taylor Swift appeared on stage, the whole arena erupting in loud
applause and shouts as she sang ‘State of Grace.’ Camila and
Lauren stood up and danced to her up tempo songs as she played
 them and sang along loudly to every heartfelt lyric, right up until
Taylor introduced her next song ‘Today Was a Fairytale.’ Lauren
turned to Camila and smiled, finally understanding her reference
from earlier when they’d been with Jasper in the dog park. “You
called me your princess,” Camila reminded her, reaching for
Lauren’s hand and squeezing it, “and I called you my prince.” “You
asked me if today was a fairytale,” Lauren said. “Yes,” Camila
acknowledged. “You were referring to this song?” she asked and
Camila nodded. “I was listening to it yesterday on the ride home
from rehab,” she shared with Lauren, “and it kind of fit us and our
relationship, you know? Especially after you called me your
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 11/13 princess and said we’d have our
happy ending.” She said as Taylor started to play the guitar on
stage. “ Lauren stepped closer to Camila and pulled her close,
wrapping her arms around the small girl’s waist as she stood
behind her as they faced the stage. Camila covered Lauren’s
hands with her own, resting back against Lauren’s body as her
girlfriend lowered her chin on to Camila’s shoulders, Taylor finally
starting to sing the lyrics as they rocked side to side together.
“Today was a fairytale, you were the prince, I used to be a damsel
in distress. You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six.
Today was a fairytale. Today was a fairytale.” Camila remembered
the day of her and Lauren’s first date, how she’d been the damsel
in distress in every sense of the word before they’d met and even
 afterwards. How Lauren had come along as her prince and saved
her, bringing her slowly back to life having been numb and
withdrawn since the accident. Camila recalled the way that
Lauren had waited in her hallway, how she’d talked to her mom
politely until she’d come downstairs. Camila still recollected the
way Lauren had offered her a hand and led her to her car,
opening the door for her kindly and helping her inside. That had
been the start of something special. It had been the first
incredible date of many and Camila could still feel the silent pang
of excitement and nervousness in her stomach as she
remembered it. “Today was a fairytale, I wore a dress, you wore a
dark grey tshirt. You told me I was pretty when Ilooked like a
mess. Today was a fairytale. Time slows down, whenever you’re
around… Can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the
way you kissed me. Fell in love when I saw you standing there. It
must have been the way, today was a fairytale. It must have been
the way, today was a fairytale. Today was a fairytale; you’ve got a
smile that takes me to another planet. Every move you make,
everything you say is right, today was a fairytale. Today was a
fairytale, all that I can say, is now it’s getting so much clearer.
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face, today was a
fairytale.” Lauren remembered everything. She remembered the
way she’d instantly been attracted to Camila. The way that she’d
felt when she’d first laid eyes on her, how she’d known even then
that there was something special about her, that she could love
 her. The clarity of the moment had hit her like the softball which
had momentarily knocked her out during her sophomore year.
Lauren loved Camila. She loved everything about her, the way
that she was beautiful both inside and out. The way that her
imperfections only seemed to make her more perfect. Lauren
loved Camila’s natural beauty, the way she looked with no
makeup, the way that she was stunning despite truly believing
that she wasn’t. “Time slows down, whenever you’re around… But
can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you
kissed me. Fell in love when I saw you standing there, it must have
been the way, today was a fairytale. It must have been the way,
today was a fairytale. Time slows down, whenever you’re around,
I can feel my heart, it’s beating in my chest. Did you feel it? I can’t
put this down…” Lauren recalled the way that she had held the
palm of Camila’s hand against her chest to prove that she was
real, the way her own heart had beaten furiously after they’d
been together, the organ pounding firmly in her chest, reminding
her that she was alive, that Camila made her feel that way more
than anything else ever could. “But can you feel this magic in the
air? It must have been the way you kissed me, fell in love when I
saw you standing there, it must have been the way. But can you
feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed
me, fell in love when I saw you standing there, it must have been
the way, today was a fairytale. It must have been the way, today
was a fairytale… Today was a fairytale”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/67794127526/trialsand-
tribulationschapter53 12/13 “Ask me again?” Lauren asked
Camila, tilting her head so that her mouth was close to her
girlfriends’ ear. “Would you say today has been a fairytale?”
Camila asked her as Taylor invited Ed Sheeran back on stage to
sing ‘Everything has Changed.’ “I think it’s safe to say that it has,”
Lauren admitted, kissing the side of Camila’s neck softly with her
lips, her girlfriend leaning back in to her more closely, her fingers
grazing the back of Lauren’s hands which were still wrapped
around her waist. They listened to their song for the first time
ever live, the two of them standing in this way, entwined as they
enjoyed the close contact, the simple gesture enough to make
them both content in that moment. When it had finished, Camila
turned round to face Lauren and kissed her, the smaller girl’s
hands reaching up to pull on the back of Lauren’s neck to bring
their mouths closer together. “Happy Valentine’s day Lauren,”
Camila said and Lauren smiled. “Christmas and Valentines’ in one
day?” Lauren laughed and Camila nodded her head. “Anything
goes in fairytales Lauren,” Camila told her and Lauren kissed her
again.
Chapter 54
A/N: So, I sincerely apologise for this taking so long. As you know,
I’ve had a lot of family drama kicking off and work has been really
busy so time has been an issue in and of itself. Also, I’ve literally
spent the last couple of days in a lot of pain and being sick so I
haven’t really felt up to writing much. Anyway, here’s the chapter.
Sorry again for the delay. I hope you enjoy it x “Lauren!” Camila
called enthusiastically as she ran hurriedly over to the back of the
wire fenced dugout where her girlfriend was standing with the
rest of her team mates as they prepared for their softball game
against Jackson high school. It was a Wednesday afternoon, two
weeks after the Taylor Swift concert and the weather was perfect
for a game of softball, warm, but not too hot, the air still, the sky
sunny and clear. “Hey,” Camila greeted, offering a small wave as
Lauren turned around in response to the sound of her name being
called, a broad smile appearing on her face at the sight of her
girlfriend. “Hi,” Lauren returned as she came closer to the division
which separated them. Camila hooked the fingers and thumbs of
both her hands around the thin wire of the fencing when she
reached it, pressing her face as near to it as she possibly could.
“You came,” Lauren noted, her eyes sparkling happily at her
girlfriend’s presence, her hands mirroring Camila’s but lower
down on the fence. “Of course I came,” Camila replied amused.
“Did you really think I’d miss your game?” “I wasn’t sure,” Lauren
admitted feeling a little ashamed. “You said that you didn’t really
understand the rules after you came last week so I thought that
you might skip it…” “You explained the rules to me afterwards
though,” Camila reminded her. “We spent like, a good two hours
discussing them at your house over dinner.” “I know but you
didn’t really look like you understood them,” Lauren responded
 laughing as she recalled the look of pure confusion on Camila’s
face as she’d tried to teach them to her. “Ok, well honestly? I
didn’t, not really,” Camila acknowledged truthfully, “but Normani
has been trying to teach me them and I’ve been looking them up
on google all week,” she confessed. “I think I’m finally starting to
understand them now.” She said with a hint of pride evident in
her voice. Camila leant into the fence further, bouncing against it
slightly. “Hopefully it’ll mean that your dad won’t make fun of me
quite so much when I’m over next,” Camila chuckled softly. “I
think he was genuinely shocked that I didn’t know how to play
softball.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 2/20 “He was only teasing you,” Lauren
reassured her. “It’s not a big deal or anything. Although…the rules
are relatively simple Camz.” She added thoughtfully. “I know,”
Camila groaned, “but for some reason my brain really struggles to
retain them.” Camila continued leaning away from the fence a
little, “perhaps I just wasn’t meant to be a fan of softball.” She
mused. “You know you don’t have to come and watch if you don’t
want to.” Lauren informed her kindly. “I mean, I love that you did
but if you’d rather be elsewhere then we can catch up later.” “I
might not be a diehard fan of softball just yet,” Camila replied,
“but I’m a diehard fan of yours.” She finished smoothly. “Trust
me. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.” “You’re a
dork,” Lauren commented, shaking her head gently from side to
 side in amusement. Camila’s mouth formed a halfsmile at both
Lauren’s use of the word and the affectionate tone of voice which
accompanied it. “So…” Camila started uncertainly as she pressed
her body up against the fence again, her fingers still hooked
around the metal divide. “Good luck for the game,” she wished
Lauren, bringing her face closer to the fence again. Lauren leant
forward and planted a soft kiss against Camila’s lips gratefully
through a large gap in the meshed wiring. “Thanks,” she replied
with a smile that reached the corners of her eyes. “I’ll see you
afterwards?” she asked. “Definitely,” Camila answered smiling as
she leant back away from the fence again. “I’ll be sitting in the
bleachers with the others,” Camila told her, gesturing over her
shoulder with her thumb to where Dinah, Ally and Normani were
already seated. “Should I wait for you there?” “Yeah, just stay put
and I’ll come and find you all,” Lauren suggested. “Ok,” Camila
agreed, her gaze dropping to the floor for a moment, her right leg
bouncing up and down on the spot anxiously. “Are you alright?”
Lauren asked Camila, noticing her somewhat nervous disposition.
“Yeah,” Camila replied lifting her gaze again and making an effort
to put a smile back on her face. Lauren gave her a look,
unconvinced and Camila sighed on seeing it. “I get nervous
watching you play,” she finally admitted, after a moment’s
hesitation and Lauren couldn’t help but feel touched by Camila’s
concern for her. “What if you break your leg or something?” “I’ll
be fine,” Lauren reassured her seriously, reaching up one of her
 hands to take hold of Camila’s fingertips as they protruded
through the fence. “Please be careful,” she requested, her eyes
watching her feet as they kicked at the ground. “I don’t want you
getting knocked out or anything.” Camila said biting her bottom
lip worriedly. “I won’t,” Lauren chuckled squeezing Camila’s
fingertips reassuringly and causing her girlfriend to lift her gaze to
meet her own again. “Besides, isn’t that normally your thing?”
“Hopefully it’s not anymore,” Camila replied smiling. “I’ll be
careful I promise,” Lauren assured her, leaning forward to kiss
Camila tenderly on the lips through the fence once more. “Just
relax.” “I’ll try,” Camila promised feeling a little more pacified by
Lauren’s words as she removed her hands from where they’d
been resting. “Now, go and kick the other team’s ass.” She
ordered jokingly as she stepped back a little. “I’ll be right over
there.” She reminded her, pointing towards the bleachers as
though Lauren would have forgotten. “You’ll know I’ve not fallen
asleep or anything because I’ll be cheering you on the whole
time.” She laughed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 3/20 Lauren smiled at her girlfriend and
Camila allowed her eyes to roam Lauren’s body appreciatively for
a moment, admiring the way the greeneyed girls’ softball pants
hugged the contours of her legs tightly. “Cheering me on huh?”
Lauren asked Camila, noting her girlfriend’s obvious staring. “Are
you sure that you haven’t just come to check me out?” “Cheering
 you on, checking you out. They’re the same thing.” Camila
answered playfully, giving Lauren a wink and taking another step
back. “You’re such a pervert,” Lauren informed her, entertained.
“Well can you blame me?” Camila asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s
not my fault I have a hot girlfriend who plays a sport that involves
a close fitting uniform. A girl only has so much selfrestraint and
I’m lacking in that as it is since the accident.” Camila paused for a
beat, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth as she ogled
Lauren unashamedly. When Camila lifted her eyes again, Lauren
shook her head at her entertained and Camila made a point of
glancing over at a group of Lauren’s team mates who were
standing nearby, facing away from her as they looked out at the
playing field discussing tactics. She lowered her eyes down to
admire their buttocks brazenly in front of Lauren. “You know
Ithink I’m starting to see the attraction of being a softball fan,”
Camila joked playfully, kinking one eyebrow up and causing
Lauren’s jaw to drop in response to the comment. “If you weren’t
the other side of that fence right now I’d hurl a ball at you,”
Lauren told her lightheartedly. “Good thing I am then,” Camila
noted, blowing Lauren a kiss and turning to walk back towards the
rest of the girls. “Hey babe!?” Lauren called after her and Camila
turned around to face her girlfriend again, walking backwards for
a minute. “Don’t fall off the bleachers! Ok?” Lauren yelled, her
hands still linked with the fence as she continued to watch Camila
go. “Don’t worry! I’ve got this!” Camila shouted back confidently,
holding her arms out beside her and almost tripping over her own
feet in her feigned arrogance. Lauren reflexively lunged forward,
her body pressing close against the fencing which reminded her
that there was nothing she could do to help steady Camila from
where she was stood. Luckily, Camila managed to find her own
footing again without falling over and she stopped in her tracks
for a minute to regain her balance before continuing. “That was
close!” Camila yelled at Lauren feeling a little flustered after her
sudden moment of panic. “I’m ok though!” she informed Lauren,
giving her a quick thumbs up with her right hand before turning
around and walking over to the bleachers again, this time facing
forward. Lauren continued to watch Camila’s journey and saw
Dinah stand up as the smaller girl reached where she, Ally and
Normani were sitting. Dinah, who had witnessed the near miss,
placed a supportive hand on Camila’s shoulder to check that her
friend was alright and Lauren noted Camila’s almost imperceptible
nod in response to something the taller girl had said. As Camila
descended on to the metal bench of the bleachers beside Dinah
she glanced up and noticed Lauren still watching her closely from
the dugout. She lifted her hand up to wave at Lauren, giving her
girlfriend a silent reassurance that she really was alright. Lauren
returned the gesture in acknowledgement before moving back
over to stand with her team mates again. “How many times have I
told you not to walk backwards?” Dinah asked Camila as her
friend lowered her hand and returned it to her lap. “Not once,”
 Camila replied laughing, twisting her body slightly to look at her.
“Oh,” Dinah said surprised, “well, in that case I’m going to tell you
now…don’t walk backwards. It’s not good for my heart condition.”
“You don’t have a heart condition.” Camila told her, making a
face. “I do now after watching that,” Dinah commented and
Camila glared at her. “Don’t give me that look,” Dinah scolded.
“You almost fell on your backside just then Mila…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 4/20 “Almost,” Camila muttered in
response. “That’s the key word in your sentence Dinah. Almost.”
“Just because you somehow managed not to fall over this time
doesn’t mean you’ll be as lucky the next,” Dinah said, her tone
serious. “I suggest that you just avoid doing it. That way you’ll
completely remove the risk to yourself and to those around you.”
“What’s life without a little risk though?” Camila asked her.
“Besides, I’m never going to get better at it if I don’t practice.”
“You don’t need to be able to walk backwards though,” Dinah told
her chuckling slightly. “You’re taking an unnecessary risk Mila.”
“Ok,” Camila said thoughtfully, pondering her friend’s words. “I’ll
make you a deal. I’ll stop walking backwards if you stop dancing.”
“What?” Dinah replied in disbelief. “What does my dancing have
to do with anything?” “Well, you might accidentally go over on
your ankle and break it when you’re prancing around,” Camila
answered. “It’s an unnecessary risk.” She said significantly. “You
don’t need to dance.” She emphasized. “I don’t prance,” Dinah
 protested, ignoring the rest of Camila’s words and refusing to
acknowledge the truth in them. “She does,” Normani told Camila,
smiling brightly as she leant forward to meet the smaller girls
eyes. “In fact she probably prances more than she dances.” “I do
not,” Dinah complained, turning around and trying to hit Normani
playfully on the arm as Camila laughed at her unintentional
rhyme. “You do,” Normani said again simply, apparently unfazed
by Dinah’s attempted physical abuse as she returned her eyes to
the field before them. Camila and Dinah both followed Normani’s
gaze when they noticed the look of surprise which crossed her
features. “Is that Clare?” Dinah asked, squinting slightly in order
to try and get a better view, leaving the other topic of
conversation where it was as her eyes fell on the brunette who
was approaching the dugout where Lauren was tucked away with
her team mates. “Yeah,” Ally answered as Lauren came out from
where she’d been standing to talk to the other girl. “She said that
their teams would be playing each other in a couple of weeks
when we saw her at the diner, remember?” Camila watched as
Clare waved at Lauren, smiling at her warmly in greeting as her
girlfriend left the confines of the dugout to talk to her,
reciprocating the gesture; her previous distrust of her ex
obviously no longer an issue. “At least Lauren’s being friendly this
time,” Normani commented, glancing at Camila from where she
sat, trying to gage the other girl’s reaction to the scene before
her. “Yeah,” Camila said simply as she continued to watch the
 interaction closely. “She’s probably apologising for what
happened at the diner a couple of weeks ago,” she acknowledged.
“I don’t think she ever did get round to it.” Clare placed a hand on
Lauren’s arm as they met and the greeneyed girl laughed happily
in response to something that she said, evidently amused. “Are
you ok with this?” Dinah asked Camila, her eyes burning a hole in
the side of her friends head as she continued to view the
conversation on the field in front of her with interest. “Sure,”
Camila said her tone neutral but her eyes never leaving the two
girls’. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Dinah shared a look with Ally and
Normani sensing Camila wasn’t being a hundred percent honest
with them. “I mean,” Camila continued before anyone else spoke.
“It’s not like Clare is really attractive or anything,” she said as
Lauren moved her hands in front of her animatedly whilst she
talked, her attention fixed firmly on her ex. “Only that, well, she
is,” Camila admitted truthfully. “Plus, she was really nice.” She
went on. “Funny too, don’t you think?” she asked the others,
finally tearing her eyes away from the scene to meet her friends’
questioning looks. “What?” she finished, noting the expressions
on their faces.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 5/20 “Are you jealous?” Normani asked
amused at Camila’s sudden insecurities. “No I’m not jealous,”
Camila answered unconvincingly. “I mean, there’s nothing to be
jealous about.” She told them, turning her attention back to her
 girlfriend who was still joking with Clare. “They’re just…friends.”
She said, “and Itrust Lauren…” “Oh my God, you are jealous.”
Dinah interrupted, knowing how to read Camila better than
anyone else there. “I’m not,” Camila protested, “Not in the way
that you think I am anyway.” “So does that mean that you are or
you aren’t?” Normani asked Camila confused, the brunette still
watching the meeting in front of her and observing as Clare
feigned hitting a ball with an imaginary bat, Lauren studying the
other girl’s technique closely as she did so. “I’m not” Camila
repeated again more confidently this time. “Lauren is allowed to
have other friends…” “Other lesbian friends?” Ally asked Camila
meaningfully, cutting her off. “Yes.” Camila answered honestly.
“Just because Clare’s a lesbian too it doesn’t mean that Lauren
and she can’t just be friends. I mean, me and Siope were friends
before I started dating Lauren weren’t we Dinah?” she asked
rhetorically, “and there’s never been anything more to our
relationship than that.” She shared thoughtfully. “You never dated
Siope though,” Dinah reminded her. “Not that you know of,”
Camila replied playfully, winking at Dinah who hit her on the arm
in response. “You sound like you’re jealous though Camila,” Ally
told the other girl, not buying it for a moment. “Not of Clare,”
Camila said. “I mean, ok…maybe I’m a little bit jealous of her,” She
finally admitted, watching as Lauren and Clare exchanged a hug
before finally parting to head back to their respective dugouts,
the game about to start. “Lauren already kind of knows, Ijoked
 that if she did cheat on me with her that I wouldn’t be
surprised…” “Lauren would never cheat on you,” Normani said
confidently. “I know that,” Camila responded. “That’s exactly
what Lauren told me and I trust her completely. Actually, I trust
Clare too when it comes right down to it.” She added. “I don’t
know, I just…she seemed really genuine when we spoke to her. I
honestly don’t think she wants to stir up any trouble for us.” “So
what is it then?” Ally asked. “It’s just that Clare knew Lauren
before I did,” Camila told them all. “She’s shared experiences with
her that I never will and she knows stories about her that I don’t.
I’m jealous that she got to have those moments with her and I
didn’t.” “I completely understand,” Ally admitted. “I felt exactly
the same way about Troy’s other girlfriends and I’ve never even
met most of them.” “Most of them?” Dinah asked her laughing.
“How many exgirlfriends has he had?” “Four,” Ally disclosed
before returning to her previous remark. “Everyone has a
romantic past though Camila. Troy was just as insecure about my
exboyfriend’s too. I think it’s natural to feel that way. To feel like
you have to compete with them even though they’re no longer
together.” “I don’t have a romantic past,” Camila pointed out in
response to Ally’s words. “Not yet.” Ally said without thinking.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Camila asked her a little taken
aback. “Nothing,” Ally answered apologetically. “I didn’t mean it
how it sounded; it’s just that, one day if you and Lauren did ever
break up then you would have one.” “What if we never do
 though?” Camila asked. “Is it weird that I don’t have a romantic
history except with her? I mean, is that a bad thing?” “Not at all,”
Ally told her, reaching across Dinah’s lap to place a reassuring
hand on top of Camila’s. “I think that would be amazing but not
everyone is lucky enough to find the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 6/20 person that they want to spend the
rest of their life with on the first try Camila, that’s rare; special…”
“Kind of like you are,” Dinah noted. “What do you mean?” Camila
questioned her, glancing up at the taller girl. “Well, you’re special
aren’t you?” Dinah said. “I mean, that’s what the doctors said at
the hospital at least, that you were a rare case and that you
should have died. I still remember the look on your neurologists
face when you woke up and weren’t completely disabled. I think
he was more shocked than us that you didn’t have more serious
physical deficits from your head injury. I think he thought that
you’d end up a complete vegetable.” “Dinah,” Ally protested. “Do
you have to?” “What? It’s true,” Dinah complained. “That’s what
they thought would happen to Camila and now look at you,” she
continued turning to her friend, “walking around and almost
tripping over your own feet. Who would have thought eight
months ago that this is where you would be today? I know I didn’t
think that you would be doing as well as you are,” she admitted
reluctantly. “What exactly is your point?” Camila asked her
puzzled and laughing, trying to ignore Dinah’s painful reminder of
 how close she’d come to dying. “Just that perhaps the accident
was fate,” Dinah said. “That’s all. That maybe it happened in order
to bring you and Lauren together. That perhaps your love is rare
and special, you know, because you are.” She paused for a minute
to glance down at the field where the game had begun, Lauren’s
team starting at bat. “Maybe there was a reason you were the
exception Mila,” Dinah continued, meeting the brunettes’
chocolate eyes again. “Perhaps there was a reason that you
survived when others in the same situation as you didn’t, and I
think that it’s because you were meant to. That it was the
universes way of helping you to find your soul mate.” “Why am I
not surprised to hear this coming from the biggest Camren
shipper ever?” Normani laughed lightly. “Think about it,” Dinah
went on, her tone serious. “What’s that saying? “For every action
there is an equal and opposite reaction.” “That’s Newton’s third
law of motion,” Camila chuckled at her friends comment.
“Somehow I don’t think this situation was his intended purpose
for its application…” “Maybe not but I think it’s relevant,” Dinah
said. “You lost a lot after the accident Mila,” she explained, “but
you gained just as much as a result of it. You lost the ability to
speak properly, to walk, to think in the same way that you used to
but you gained two great friends,” she continued, gesturing to
Ally and Normani. “You gained Lauren. I think his law applies
here.” Camila looked at Dinah with an astonished expression on
her face. “Wow that was kind of deep for you.” She responded,
 still stunned. “I mean, your theory is a little flawed but I’m
impressed…” Camila praised before turning to Ally and Normani.
“Am I the only one that thought that kind of made sense?” Camila
asked the other girls who looked equally as amazed at Dinah’s
words. “I’m actually kind of smart you know,” Dinah said proudly.
“I know,” Camila said, leaning in to her friend’s side and linking
their arms together. “You’re practically a genius Dinah.” She
finished with a hint of sarcasm in her tone. “It’s about time you
finally admitted it,” Dinah teased and Camila smiled, leaning in to
her friend’s side again and looking forward at the field, her eyes
falling on to the game just in time to catch Lauren walking up to
the plate to bat. “Hey, Lauren’s batting!” Camila exclaimed
excitedly, unengaging her arms from Dinah’s to lift them over her
head as she cheered for her girlfriend supportively. Lauren
glanced briefly in Camila’s direction and smiled in
acknowledgement before taking up an offensive stance and
positioning her bat ready for Clare’s pitch. Clare wound her arm
back for a moment and then released the ball in Lauren’s
direction, the brunette’s bat colliding with the missile evenly and
sending it flying in to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 7/20 the air to land deep in the outfield
where it continued rolling, the opposing team members chasing it
as fast as they could. Lauren flung the bat on to the ground almost
immediately after contact and ran as fast as she could to first
 base, then to second, casting a swift look in the direction her ball
had gone to check that the opposition hadn’t retrieved it yet
before she continued on, her feet making contact cleanly with
third base as she passed over it and finally the home plate, scoring
a run. Camila cheered happily, standing up and clapping her hands
at Lauren’s success as her team mates ran over excitedly to
congratulate her girlfriend, pulling her in to a large group hug.
When she was eventually released, Lauren cast an eye back up in
Camila’s direction and stuck up her index finger, pointing at her
girlfriend meaningfully. Camila returned the gesture smiling
brightly before taking her seat again and Lauren returned to the
dugout to wait for her next turn. “You know, I don’t want to be
jealous,” Camila divulged to the others after a moment when she
was seated again, returning back to their previous topic of
conversation. “I don’t want to feel like I’m some crazy neurotic
girlfriend but maybe I am…” “You’re not,” Ally comforted her
easily. “I promise Camila. It’s normal to feel like that. Lauren
would feel exactly the same way if the roles were reversed.” “I
actually thought that you handled the whole Clare situation really
well at the diner,” Dinah informed her. “I don’t know that I would
have been as calm if one of Siope’s exgirlfriends had come over to
talk to him whilst we were out for dinner.” “Don’t worry Camila,
you’re definitely not crazy,” Normani agreed with the others.
“Well, I’m not sure about that,” Rachel said scathingly, apparently
having approached where they sat undetected whilst their
 attention had been fixed on the game. Rachel walked along the
row behind Camila and the others, David, his girlfriend Samantha,
and a couple of their other friends with her. “I still think you’re
pretty crazy.” She commented, sitting down purposefully behind
the brunette and lifting her feet to rest against the bench which
Camila sat on, her toes prodding the small girl in the back
irritatingly. “I’m going to have to agree with her,” David seconded,
taking a seat beside her, his eyes set on Camila as he draped an
arm around Samantha’s shoulders when she descended on to the
bench beside him. “Perhaps you should look in a mirror before
you call me crazy Rachel,” Camila groaned, sighing audibly, her
eyes rolling in their sockets as she remained facing forward,
snubbing her. “Hey…gorgeous,” Rachel said mockingly, ignoring
Camila’s words and leaning forward, poking Camila in the back
harder with one of her feet. Camila spun around on the bench to
look at her, anger clearly visible in her expression. “What’s the
matter?” Rachel asked smirking. “Aren’t you happy to see me
babe?” “Ooh careful Rach, I think she’s angry with you,” David
told the blonde jokingly, lifting one of his feet and kicking Camila
lightly in the left hip, spurred on by her obvious annoyance. “You
should watch out.” He warned Rachel. “She might lose it in a
minute and try to kill us all. Everyone knows that she can’t control
her temper…isn’t that right C…Ca…Camila?” he stuttered
teasingly. “Why don’t you guys fuck off?” Dinah suggested
protectively, turning around to face them. “No…I don’t think so,”
 Rachel told Dinah as she glanced at David and her friends. “I
mean, I came all this way especially to see her when I figured out
that she’d be watching Lauren’s game. It turns out that crazy
here,” she said pointing at Camila with her thumb, “is extremely
predictable.” She paused for a moment in order to speak to
Camila. “It’s been a few weeks since our last encounter hasn’t it
psycho?” she asked. “I believe that there are a few things that we
need to talk about.” Rachel remarked meaningfully. “In fact, I’m
pretty sure that you still owe me after the black eye I received at
your hands…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 8/20 “Oh, fuck off Rachel,” Camila said
crossly, her eyes fixing back on to the field as she tried to ignore
the other girl. Rachel stepped over the bench and plopped down
on top of it beside Camila, putting an arm round her shoulders
confrontationally. Camila tried to shrug out of her hold quickly,
but Rachel held her firmly in place, refusing to let her escape.
“Would you get the fuck off me?” Camila said and Rachel’s smirk
grew wide with the knowledge that she was rattling the other girl.
“What if I don’t?” Rachel asked her. “What if Ijust punched you in
the face instead?” “I’d like to see you try,” Dinah said aggressively
as she stood up but Camila reached up and tugged on her hand
again, guiding her back down on to the bench. “Dinah it’s alright,”
Camila reassured her, taking a deep breath to compose herself.
“Yeah Dinah,” Rachel mocked. “It’s alright. Chill out would you.
 We’re only talking…” “Why don’t you just go away?” Normani
asked Rachel heatedly. “Why don’t you shut up?” Rachel
countered. “This is nothing to do with you Normani. This is
between me and Camila. She fucking owes me after what
happened and I intend to collect her debt, one way or another.”
“Then why don’t you just do it?” Camila asked her. “Hit me if it’ll
make you feel better Rachel. If it’ll mean that you’ll finally leave
me alone then go ahead and punch me. I don’t give a shit. There’s
nothing that you could do that would hurt me more than I already
have been this year. You hitting me in the face will be nothing
compared to what I’ve been through.” Camila reached up and
removed Rachel’s arm from around her shoulder pointedly, the
other girl allowing the move without much resistance. “Stop being
such a fucking pussy Rachel and just hit me in the face already,”
Camila said her volume rising in her anger as she spoke. “Let’s get
it over with.” Rachel met Camila’s eyes evenly, weighing up her
options. On the one hand she could do exactly as Camila had
asked but, deep down she knew that what she had said was true.
Camila had been through so much in the last eight months that
there was no amount of physical pain that Rachel could inflict on
her which she felt would even come close to compensating for the
trauma that the smaller girl had put her through when she’d
broken her nose. On the other hand though, Rachel wasn’t here
alone and she was loathed to look like she was weak in front of
her friends, which meant there was no way that she would allow
 Camila to appear as though she’d won. “I think you’d actually
quite like me to hit you,” Rachel replied, her tone low and
indignant. “I think you get off on it. You’re like some kind of sick
masochist.” She commented glancing down at Camila’s bare
wrists and noticing the recent scars there. “That’s why you hurt
yourself. You fucking enjoy it don’t you?” Camila made a move as
though to hit Rachel but stopped herself just short. She placed her
hands behind the back of her neck quickly in an attempt to
maintain her selfcontrol. “What’s the matter?” Rachel asked
enjoying watching Camila struggle to keep herself in check. “Did I
hit a nerve?” she continued tauntingly. “Or did you?” she
questioned, her pitch rising a little. “Is that why your arm is so
fucked up?” “Do you want me to break your fucking nose again?”
Camila asked lunging forward threateningly, obviously seething.
“Careful,” Rachel warned, tutting noisily as she waved her finger
in front of Camila and jabbed her on the shoulder with it. “I think
we both know that if you touch me your parents will ship you
back to rehab quicker than you can blink but, it’s up to you…” she
trailed off, her eyes never leaving Camila’s. “Oooh,” David
commented from where he sat watching the exchange. “I think
she’s actually tempted Rach,” he said, extending his leg and
kicking Camila in the back. “Look at her,” he prompted as he
noted the way Camila’s hands rested by her side, her knuckles
turning white where her fingers were clamped together tightly,
her attention turning to him momentarily as she glared in his
 direction. “Her fists are clenched and everything…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 9/20 “Did you like it in there Camila?”
Rachel asked her, desperate to push the other girl over the edge,
to make her lash out and do something reckless which would land
her back in trouble. “What was it like?” she asked lowering her
voice. “Did you have to live the accident all over again?” she
continued. “Is that why you hurt yourself? Is it? Couldn’t you deal
with the memory of what happened to you? The knowledge that
some guy didn’t even value your life enough to stop his car and
check you were alright…he just fucking left you there to die like an
animal, like a piece of shit.” She goaded. “You were nothing more
than an inconvenience to him, a dirty mark on his otherwise
pristine sheets.” Camila stepped forward menacingly and Rachel
could sense that she was close now, the smaller girls’ reaction
spurring her to continue her jibes further. “Mila,” Dinah said
meaningfully standing up and placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder
to stay her. “Think about this for a minute…” she prompted, this
time her turn to be the voice of reason. “Why didn’t you just go
through with it?” Rachel continued regardless of Dinah’s input,
interrupting her. “Why didn’t you just do us all a favour and kill
yourself? Why didn’t dig that blade in a little bit deeper? Make
the cut just a little bit wider huh? You know you’re just one
cosmic fuck up Camila. Why don’t you help the universe right
itself again?” Rachel cocked one eyebrow at the slight change of
 expression that flashed across Camila’s face, knowing that she’d
inadvertently hit on something important. “You wanted to didn’t
you?” Rachel realised as she took in Camila’s subtle change of
expression. “You thought about it…” she trailed off and Camila
stood up a little taller, masking her features as best as possible,
trying to appear unfazed by Rachel’s observation. “You thought
about doing it and you almost did,” Rachel said, one side of her
mouth curling up in to a crooked smile. “I can see it in your eyes
Camila. You wanted to kill yourself…you knew it would be the
right thing to do. You knew it…” “Shut the fuck up,” Dinah said,
stepping past Camila and shoving Rachel firmly in the chest, her
own anger too much to contain. Rachel laughed as she put her
hands behind her and down on to the bench in order to keep her
balance. “I bet that makes you feel really good, huh Dinah?”
Rachel asked the Polynesian girl laughing. “Knowing that your
best friend cared so little about you that she’d considered killing
herself?” “Shut your fucking mouth! Do you hear me?” Dinah said
looming over the blonde furiously. Rachel ignored her, instead
turning her attention back to Camila who was still watching her
intently, rage evident behind her eyes. “Have you forgotten how
to speak again?” Rachel asked the brunette scornfully, knowing
exactly what buttons to press to rile Camila up, but not realising
that her words were actually extremely close to the mark,
Camila’s tongue getting stuck in her throat with her ire. “Hey
retard,” Rachel said cruelly. “I’m talking to you.” Camila lurched
 forward and grabbed Rachel’s top in her hand, curling it up tight,
her other arm elevated as though she was going to hit the blonde.
“Do it!” Rachel spat at her, snorting. “Go on Camila. You know you
want to…fucking hit me again.” “Camila,” Ally said, the small girl
standing up and moving beside Dinah swiftly to place a hand on
Camila’s shoulder. “Don’t.” she instructed calmly. “Just leave her.
We’ll go and sit somewhere else.” “Come on Camila,” Rachel
egged her on. “You’re fucking dying to do it, I can tell.” She noted.
“Fucking hit me.” “Hey,” Dinah said to Camila, grabbing hold of
her retracted arm and pushing it back down to her friends’ side.
“Let’s go.” She prompted taking Ally’s lead, her own rage now
dissipating at the seriousness of the situation, at the possibility
that Camila could end up back at rehab or worse if she wasn’t
careful. “Mila.” Dinah said, her tone soft and Camila finally
glanced away from Rachel to look at her friend. “Ally’s right, we’ll
just go and sit somewhere else. She’s not worth it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 10/20 “Are you really going to listen to
them?” Rachel asked and Camila looked at her once more. “Yeah,
come on C…Ca…Camila,” David sneered. “Don’t listen to your
friends…” “What’s the matter?” Rachel asked, Camila’s fist still
firmly curled around her shirt. “You worried about being locked
back up again? Didn’t you like being left alone with your thoughts
Camila? Were they a little too honest with you?” Dinah quickly
stepped in between Rachel and Camila when she noticed her
 friends hand tighten around Rachel’s shirt again, her other arm
lifting up in preparation to thump her. “Don’t be stupid,” Dinah
said, her hands finding their way up to Camila’s chest which she
pushed against gently, forcing the smaller girl to relinquish her
grasp on Rachel’s clothing, successfully separating them. “You’re
even more pathetic then I remember,” Rachel told Camila
derisively. “What the fuck happened to you Camila? Are you so
weak that you can’t even fight your own battles anymore?”
“Ignore her,” Dinah said, pushing Camila backwards again
carefully, increasing the distance between her and the blonde.
“Let’s go, alright?” Camila looked as though she was going to
protest until she met Dinah’s gaze and saw the obvious concern in
them. She glanced at Rachel over Dinah’s shoulder for a moment
before turning to follow Ally and Normani who were already
moving away from the group, along the bleachers. “You know you
will pay for what you did Camila!” Rachel called after her,
standing up. “You can’t run away from me forever!” Camila
stopped and turned around to face Rachel, but found Dinah
nudging her forwards again gently. “Keep walking,” she told
Camila sternly but the smaller girl remained still. “Mila?” Dinah
urged. “Think about Lauren alright? Do you really want to be
separated from her again because of Rachel?” Camila glanced
down to the dugout where Lauren was watching their group
intently, a nervous expression on her face. They locked eyes for a
moment before Camila looked back up at Rachel who was
 watching the silent exchange from where she stood. “Hey
Camila!” Rachel called again, standing up from where she’d been
sat and following Dinah along the bleachers as the Polynesian
drove Camila forwards, after Ally and Normani. “When you see
your whore of a girlfriend can you tell her something from me?”
Camila spun around quickly at the insult, evidently fuming and
Dinah had trouble trying to keep her from lunging at Rachel again,
her hands clambering to hold Camila still. Rachel smirked at
Camila’s reaction, finally understanding something. “You know,”
Rachel said, “I bet Lauren told you that you were her first didn’t
she?” she questioned goadingly. “I bet she made you feel special
the first time you were together. I bet she pretended that she was
nervous, shy even…” she continued tauntingly. “Shame you’re so
thick that you’d fall for that.” She commented taking another step
closer so that she was standing just behind Dinah. “I hate to break
it to you Camila but your slut of a girlfriend has slept with more
people than just you. She’s a fucking whore.” She emphasized,
enjoying the way Camila’s eyes narrowed angrily at her words.
“She practically begged me to go out with her.” Rachel lied. “She’s
so fucking easy. She wanted to do it all the time when we were
together. Did she tell you that? She couldn’t get enough of it.
She’s fucking filthy.” Rachel told her. “Yyy…” Camila tried to
retort, lifting her arm up and lurching forward at her and colliding
with Dinah instead. “Ff…ff….” she tried again her anger impairing
her speech so that she could no longer talk. Rachel laughed
knowingly, David and the rest of the group joining in at the sound
of Camila’s struggling speech. “That’s more like it,” David
commented from where he sat amused. “That’s the Camila that I
remember,” he said.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 11/20 “You mean this gibbering fucking
idiot,” Rachel cackled gesturing towards Camila who Dinah was
still trying to restrain, the smaller girl pushing against her solid
form furiously. “Mila calm the fuck down,” Dinah said, placing a
hand on the side of her friend’s neck and forcing the brunette to
meet her eyes. “Hey…look at me, not her.” She prompted when
she noticed Camila’s eyes darting back to Rachel again. “Just
breathe alright Mila” She urged. “Don’t let her fucking get to
you.” Dinah said. “She’s right. You’ll be the one who ends up in
trouble. Do you really want to risk getting sent away again?” she
asked worriedly. “Just breathe and calm down. Please.” She
begged. Dinah saw Camila relax a little and released her hold on
her friend, the smaller girl sighing heavily as she struggled to
compose herself. “See you later Rain man,” Rachel ridiculed,
waving at Camila mockingly as she stood, her chest heaving up
and down as she took some deep calming breaths. “Tell Lauren
that I remember the time we spent together at Samantha’s end of
year house party last June.” She added. “Tell me…” Rachel started
inquisitively, taking a step closer to Dinah and Camila. “Does she
still have that mole on her left breast?” Camila made another
 attempt to lunge at Rachel but this time Dinah pushed her back
firmly, spinning Camila around so that her back was to her as she
thrust her along the bleachers. Camila kept turning around the
whole length of the row, trying to get a look at Rachel who was
watching her go with a large smirk plastered across her face,
happy with the reaction that she’d elicited from the brunette.
Dinah urged Camila carefully down the stairs at the end of the
row and on to the grass at the foot of the bleachers where she
quickly wrapped her arm around Camila’s waist and led her over
to the back of the dugout where Ally and Normani were standing
with Lauren, the smaller girl allowing Dinah to guide her without
too much of a fight. “Are you alright?” Lauren asked her girlfriend,
panicked, when Camila and Dinah reached them. “Yyy….yy…”
Camila tried, shaking her head in frustration when she couldn’t
speak. “Camz?” Lauren questioned worriedly, unable to
remember the last time her girlfriends’ speech had been so bad.
“What happened to your speech?” “Rrraa….fff….bbiii….” Camila
stuttered nonsensically and she shook herself free of Dinah and
kicked the fence angrily, once and then over and over again, her
fingers curling around the wire there as she did so. “FUCK!” she
managed to curse loudly. “Ff..ff…FUCKING…FUCK…” she
continued, her lips getting a feel for the word and enjoying the
way it sounded coming out of her mouth. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”
she shouted again, continuing to kick the fence furiously, shaking
the mesh in her hands at the same time, angry with herself for
 letting Rachel get to her so easily and frustrated with herself that
her rage could affect her speech so much. Camila choked on a sob
and sagged forward against the fence, her forehead leaning
against the partition defeated. “Camz it’s alright,” Lauren tried to
comfort her girlfriend through the division. “Remember what your
speech therapist said? Your speech is connected to your emotions
so if you’re feeling extremes of anything it can be affected. You
told me that. Remember?” Camila barely nodded her head in
response but Lauren noticed the small movement and reached
one hand up to rest against the fencing where Camila’s forehead
rested. “It’s like the time I told you I liked you,” Lauren reminded
her. “Or when you were nervous about doing your presentation in
front of Miss Lovato’s class…do you remember? Just give it a few
minutes and it’ll come back again. It will. I know you hate it when
this happens but it’ll come back. Just try to relax.” Lauren
watched as Camila sucked in deep lungful’s of air, her eyes closed
as her forehead remained firmly in place against the wire fence.
When she lifted her gaze to meet the greeneyed girls again,
Lauren could see the shame that the smaller girl felt, her disgrace
that Rachel had managed to rattle her and that she’d come so
close to throwing away everything that she’d worked so hard to
regain. Lauren could see the selfloathing etched on Camila’s face,
that she hated herself for not having the selfcontrol to just walk
away, that she was embarrassed that Dinah had literally had to
force her to leave, that the taller girl had to physically separate
 her from Rachel. Camila had thought she’d react better to the
situation. She believed that she’d be able to maintain her
composure and that she’d be able to overcome the switch in her
head http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trials-
andtribulationschapter54 12/20 which made her see red
whenever she was provoked, but, she couldn’t. She couldn’t
control herself. She couldn’t be trusted to take the higher ground
and she hated that. She hated herself for being exactly what
Rachel had called her. Weak. “Camz, you didn’t you hit her.”
Lauren halfasked, halfstated reading her girlfriends thoughts. She
had seen the exchange from a distance and was unable to make
out the finer details but was confident that she’d not seen Camila
actually strike the blonde who had taunted her. Camila shook her
head and Lauren felt herself sigh in relief at the news despite
herself. She lifted her hand up to grab hold of the fingers of
Camila’s left as they stuck through the fence and the smaller girl
smiled sadly at her girlfriend. “You didn’t hit her,” Lauren said
more firmly this time. “You could have done. I know you think
that Dinah stopped you but you did that. You must have done
because there is no way she could have held you back if you’d lost
it. Trust me.” Lauren reassured her, recalling the difficulty she’d
had restraining Camila on the previous occasions she’d lost her
temper and struck out at someone. “Sshh…iit,” Camila cursed,
bringing her right hand up to rest against the side of her head,
frustrated with herself. “Fuck.” “Don’t be upset,” Lauren told her
 seriously. “You knew this wasn’t going to be easy babe. You can’t
practice your reaction to things like this. It’s not like rehabilitating
your arm where you can do exercises over and over again, you’ll
only be able to practice it sporadically when situations like this
happen.” She explained, remembering her mom’s words when
they’d discussed Camila’s emotional responses to situations in the
kitchen the morning after she’d come home to find them together
in bed. “Ss..till.” Camila grumbled dejected, her speech already
starting to become more coherent.
“I…ss..sshhould…have…dd…done…bb..bb..bet…ter.” “You did
fine,” Dinah reassured her friend. “You tried to ignore her in the
beginning.” She reminded her. “You even tried to calm Dinah
down at one point,” Ally added supportively. “Yeah,” Normani
agreed. “You did fine Camila. Don’t beat yourself up about it too
much. I don’t know that I could have restrained myself from
hitting her in your situation either. She was being such a bitch.”
Camila looked unconvinced by her friends’ encouragement but
appreciated their effort regardless. “You should go home,” Lauren
told Camila seriously, casting an eye back up at Rachel and the
others who were sat on the bleachers still watching the group of
them closely. “Nn…oo,” Camila said, kicking the fence again
dejected. “Yes babe,” Lauren replied. “Don’t stay here alright.
Just, go home with Dinah and the others.”
“Yy…yooouuu’re…gg..ga…me.” Camila responded, meeting
Lauren’s eyes sadly. “It’s alright,” Lauren assured her. “You’ll
 catch the next one. I don’t mind. Honestly.” Camila shook her
head, reluctant to leave. She wanted to stay and support Lauren
the way that the other girl always supported her. She didn’t want
to be forced to abandon that just because she was incapable of
controlling her emotions. She wanted to prove to Lauren that
their relationship was equal. “I’ll see you later,” Lauren said,
pulling Camila from her thoughts. “Ok? Come to mine this
evening, but please,” she pleaded, looking back up at Rachel for
an instant, “please don’t stay here. Alright?” Camila dropped her
gaze to her feet which were kicking at the grass beneath them
annoyed. “Please,” Lauren begged. “Please go home babe.”
“Mila,” Dinah said, placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder. “Lauren’s
right, ok? We should go. They won’t leave it alone if we stay here
and I don’t think you’re quite ready to deal
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 13/20 with Rachel relentlessly taking shots
at you. You did fine but I don’t think I could restrain you all day.
You’re surprisingly strong for someone so small.” “Please go with
Ally and the others,” Lauren requested of her girlfriend again. “I’ll
feel happier knowing that you’re away from here.” “She’s just
trying to wind you up Mila,” Dinah said supporting Lauren. “She’s
deliberately trying to aggravate you so that you’ll do something
stupid. Don’t give her the satisfaction alright? You’re better than
that.” She told her. “You’re better than her.” “Fuck,” Camila
cursed again, bouncing her head against the fence gently. “Look at
 me Camz,” Lauren prompted the brunette. “It’s alright ok?”
Camila kept her eyes fixed firmly on the ground at her feet, her
mind going over everything that had just transpired. “Babe?”
Lauren urged and Camila finally lifted her eyes. “Please go home.
Please? For me alright?” she asked and Camila nodded, finally
relenting. “O..k,” she said, kicking the fence again.
“I’m….ss…ssorry.” she managed, her speech still effortful. “Hey,”
Lauren said, squeezing Camila’s fingers in her own supportively.
“You don’t have to apologise. You didn’t do anything wrong ok?”
“I…want…tt…to…ww…watch,” Camila responded. “I know,”
Lauren said. “I know that you do but I don’t want to lose you
again and I’m worried that I might if you stay here,” Lauren told
her honestly, squeezing Camila’s fingers in her own. “I’m sorry. It’s
not that I don’t believe in you but I know what Rachel is like. She
won’t drop it if you hang around. She’ll keep gunning for you and
no one could keep their composure under those conditions. Not
even me.” “Ff…ine.” Camila said sighing heavily. “I’ll…g..go.”
“Thank you.” Lauren exhaled with relief, resting her own forehead
against Camila’s. “Yy..you…bb..etter…ww..win…though,” Camila
tried to jest, lifting her head away from the fence for a moment to
meet Lauren’s eyes. “Didn’t you see me out there?” Lauren asked,
chuckling to herself. “I’m on fire babe. Don’t you worry. We’ll win
and I’ll tell you all about it later on tonight.” “Yeah,” Normani
laughed. “Trust me Camila, Lauren can talk about softball until
she’s blue in the face. You’ll get a full blow by blow account I
 promise. No details will be spared.” “You’ll probably be sick of
hearing about softball by the end of it,” Ally agreed meaningfully.
“Am I to understand that you guys think I talk about softball too
much once the season has started?” Lauren asked playfully. “I
don’t know what you’re talking about,” Normani joked. “Only if
you think that talking about it in every sentence that you speak is
‘too much’” Ally responded. “You guys have never said anything
about it before,” Lauren noted. “Why didn’t you just tell me to
shut up?” “You’re always so happy when you talk about it,”
Normani answered shrugging. “Plus, I’ve learnt to tune out most
of it to be honest. It’s just kind of background noise now.”
“Charming,” Lauren laughed before turning her attention back to
Camila who had an amused expression on her face. “Do you see
what I have to put up with?” Lauren asked her girlfriend
rhetorically. “I…don’t…c..c…care,” Camila stuttered, her free hand
gripping the fence tighter as she spoke.
“I…ww..want…to…hear…all…a.a..about…iit.” “Careful what you
wish for,” Normani muttered goodnaturedly and Lauren gave her
a look, smiling brightly at her friend. “I’ll call you later to let you
know I’m home.” Lauren told Camila, “but in the meantime, I
want you to go and do something which will help you to relax,
because as much as I
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 14/20 find your inability to speak
endearing,” Lauren said, playing with Camila’s fingers through the
 fence. “I prefer not having to watch you struggle to express
yourself. It’s much too frustrating for me to watch knowing that I
can’t do anything to help.” Camila raised her eyebrow pointedly at
Lauren’s words and her girlfriend’s grin grew wide at the
significance of the gesture. “You’ll be lucky after the trouble I got
in to the last time I helped you to relax.” Lauren stated chuckling
at Camila’s silent insinuation. The Sunday after the Taylor Swift
concert, Lauren had finally told Camila all about the conversation
she’d had with her mom and the new rules which had been
imposed on them. Camila had initially been embarrassed when
she’d found out that Lauren’s mom knew about the two of them
being together and the first few visits to her house afterwards had
been filled with awkward interactions between the two of them.
For the most part this was due to Camila, who feeling
uncomfortable had been unable to meet her mom’s gaze. To
Clara’s credit, she’d not changed the way that she interacted with
Camila at all since her discovery, and Lauren was glad when the
uneasiness had finally abated and their conversation had returned
to normal once again. “What are you talking about?” Dinah asked
confused, not understanding the intimation Lauren had made.
Camila turned around to look at her friend, smiling, and Dinah
made a face as realisation dawned on her. “Oh, eww…ok.” She
said, circling her hand as a signal for them to wrap it up. “Time to
go.” She said and Camila turned back to face Lauren.
“Ss…see…yy..you…later,” she said and Lauren leant forward to
 kiss Camila quickly through the wire fence in goodbye.
“Kk..kick….ass…” “I’ll kick ass if you don’t,” Lauren said, casting an
eye back up at Rachel and the others who were now starting to
wander down towards where they were stood. “I’m…gg..go..ing.”
Camila told Lauren, removing her hands from the fence, but
lingering for a moment longer. “Bb..be…cc..ca..careful.” she said.
“I will,” Lauren promised and Camila waved at her girlfriend for an
instant before following Ally, Normani and Dinah towards the
parking lot. Lauren watched them disappear out of sight before
looking back at Rachel who had stopped in her tracks, seemingly
annoyed that Camila had left. She sat back down on the
bleachers, David and the others copying her and Lauren narrowed
her eyes at the blonde angrily before returning her attention to
the game going on around her. For the remainder of the game
Lauren tried to concentrate on the task at hand but found herself
distracted by thoughts of Camila and Rachel, the latter of which
had remained seated in the bleachers watching her play. Every
time Lauren went up to the plate to bat she could feel the
blonde’s eyes burning a hole in the back of her head, could sense
her watching from her vantage point and imagined her scheming
with her group of friends, her hatred of the other girl growing
with each passing moment as she thought about Camila and the
endless harassment she was receiving at Rachel’s hands.
Eventually though, the game was over, Lauren’s team winning 21-
10 and the brunette rejoiced happily at the result with the rest of
 the players. “I should have known you’d win,” Clare said good-
humouredly as she approached Lauren, a tired smile on her face.
“You always were good and it seems like the rest of your team is
too.” She paused for a moment to place a hand on Lauren’s
shoulder, who was smiling warmly at the compliment. “I can’t
believe you caught me out though,” Clare complained. “Ithought
we were friends now.” “You’re the opposition,” Lauren informed
her teasingly. “When we play against each other we are not
friends.” “Oh come on now Lauren,” Clare joked. “You made me
look bad in front of all my team mates…” “You did that yourself,”
Lauren laughed interceding. “It’s not my fault that you hit the ball
straight at me.” “You could have fumbled it,” Clare protested.
“You know I’m trying to impress the redhead on my team. I made
it very clear to you before the game that I needed you to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 15/20 strike out so that I looked awesome
and what did you do? You scored a run off every one of my
pitches instead.” Lauren glanced in the direction of the redhead
who was standing over with the rest of her team, packing up their
things and frowned. “I don’t know why you’re bothering,” Lauren
said, meeting Clare’s face again. “She is definitely not a lesbian.”
“What?” Clare said, turning to look at the girl quickly. “Of course
she is. Jesus Lauren, I thought you had better gaydar than that. I
mean, just look at her outfit. She’s a lesbian. It’s indisputable.”
She joked, turning to face the brunette again. “I hate to break it to
 you Clare,” Lauren responded lightly, “but we’re all wearing the
same uniform. It doesn’t make her gay.” “It doesn’t make her
straight either.” Clare countered. “My theory is that there are
sixteen players on our squad, at least one of them has to be a
lesbian besides me, right?” “Maybe,” Lauren allowed. “Not
necessarily though.” “Besides,” Clare continued undeterred. “Just
because she might not be a lesbian now it doesn’t mean she
wouldn’t be open to the idea of it. Maybe she’s just in denial.
Once she sees how amazing I am, she’ll fall head over heels in
love. It’ll only be a matter of time. You’ll see.” “I’ll take your word
for it,” Lauren returned amused and Clare smiled at her. “You
know I’m glad that you’re not pissed at me anymore,” Clare said
seriously. “I was kind of upset with how you’d reacted to seeing
me at the diner the other week. I thought we were friends.” “We
were,” Lauren told her. “I mean…we are friends Clare. I really am
sorry for the way I acted. I’ve just got some serious trust issues
when it comes to exgirlfriends.” “We weren’t girlfriends,” Clare
reminded her and Lauren tilted her head in acknowledgement.
“Well, whatever we were,” Lauren said, “I’m sorry that I treated
you like that, it was unfair of me.” “You already apologised before
the game,” Clare said, smiling. “I know, but it doesn’t hurt to say it
again.” Lauren replied. “Camz would want me to make sure that
I’d resolved things with you properly. She was mad at me because
of how I’d treated you.” “Where is your girlfriend?” Clare asked.
“Ithought I saw her earlier.” “She went home earlier.” Lauren told
 her. “See that girl up in the bleachers?” she asked, gesturing in
Rachel’s direction. “The blonde?” Clare asked and Lauren nodded
her head. “She’s the crazy ex that Camz was referring to at the
diner.” Lauren explained. “The one she hit right?” Clare asked,
trying to remember the conversation. “Yeah,” Lauren told her.
“She keeps hassling Camz so she went home with the rest of my
friends.” Lauren continued. “It was for Rachel’s benefit more than
anything else though. Camz would probably have beat the crap
out of her if she’d stayed and I’d really rather she didn’t after
what happened last time.” “You know, your girlfriend is kind of a
badass,” Clare said thoughtfully, recalling Camila’s scar and the
impression she’d gotten of the smaller girl at the diner. “She
doesn’t look like she’d be able to hold her own in a fight but from
what you and her have both said I definitely don’t want to be on
the receiving end of her wrath.” “Even I wouldn’t want to,” Lauren
laughed. “She’s small but deadly.” “She even looks badass,” Clare
noted. “That scar on her head,” she said pointing to the spot of
her own head where Camila’s blemish was. “That would make me
think twice about taking her on for sure.” She paused for a
moment debating whether or not to ask her next question.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 16/20 “How did she get it?” Clare finally
decided. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.
I’m just curious that’s all.” “She was hit by a car,” Lauren said.
“Douchebag driver ran a red light and knocked her down.”
 “Ouch,” Clare commented. “I know right?” Lauren replied. “I bet
you were worried.” Clare said and Lauren shook her head. “I
didn’t meet her until afterwards.” Lauren told her. “I’m kind of
grateful for that actually.” Clare turned around as one of her team
mates called over to her in order to tell the brunette that they
were going to be leaving soon. She waved back at her friends in
acknowledgement before turning back to face Lauren again. “You
know,” Clare started, “I understand if you don’t want to but, I’d
like for us to stay friends.” She said. “Perhaps we could go out for
something to eat one evening. I’d like to get to know Camila
better and your friends all seem really nice. I wouldn’t expect it to
just be us. Honestly, I don’t want to cause any problems for you or
anything.” “Ok,” Lauren agreed. “I’d like that and I’m pretty sure
Camz would too. She thought you were really friendly when she
met you. That’s why she was so mad at the way I’d treated you.”
Lauren paused for a moment before adding flippantly. “She did
say that she thought you were stunning. Ithink she might have
been a little bit jealous…” “Of me?” Clare asked laughing. “Is she
crazy? Has she seen herself?” she asked. “She’s like this strangely
hot combination of cute and sexy. I mean, the scar…I think the
scar makes her more attractive…” “Alright enough of that,”
Lauren said sternly cutting her off. “Don’t make me hit you.”
“Sorry,” Clare apologised sincerely. “I do have a thing for scars
though.” “You and me both apparently,” Lauren replied. “So, I’m
on Facebook,” Clare said, changing the subject slightly and
 returning to their previous one. “Clare Schofield,” she reminded
Lauren. “Add and message me if you want to meet up.” She told
her. “If I don’t hear from you I’ll assume that you’ve changed your
mind.” She continued. “Don’t worry if you do. No hard feelings,
ok?” “I’ll get in touch,” Lauren told her. “When Itell Camz about
this later she’ll make me.” “Well then I’ll see you soon,” Clare
said, offering Lauren a small wave as she started back towards her
team. “Congratulations on well and truly kicking our ass.” “No
hard feelings?” Lauren asked and Clare shrugged in response. “I
guess not,” she said, “See you Lauren.” She said, turning around
and returning to her team. Lauren wandered back over to the
dugout and collected the rest of her belongings, a large number of
her team having already left to go home. “Hey Lauren, would you
mind helping me take the bats and things back to the store
cupboard,” Mrs Jones asked on noticing she was still there.
“Sure,” Lauren agreed, waiting around for a while longer as the
rest of the team departed and taking hold of some the bats and
spare softball mitts for her teacher, her holdall draped over her
shoulder. Lauren assisted Mrs Jones to deposit the equipment
back in their rightful place, waving goodbye to the teacher after a
brief conversation about the game and her performance, the
older woman offering her praise for her brilliant offensive and
defensive play. Mrs Jones made her way inside the gym building
when they finally parted and Lauren began to make her way in the
opposite direction, back towards her car. It was approaching six
 o’clock and the sun was just starting its descent towards the
horizon as it set when Lauren passed between the gymnasium
and the main school building alone. The campus was now fairly
deserted, the majority of the spectators from the game and other
students having already vacated the premise a while ago, giving
Lauren the eerie feeling that she was in some poorly written teen
slasher movie, the air still and silent around her as she walked,
completely vulnerable and exposed to her car.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 17/20 Despite her brain telling her that she
was being illogical, Lauren picked up her pace, wanting to lock
herself inside the safety of her car and start her journey home as
soon as she possibly could. Her car had just come in to sight in the
distance, across the black tarmac of the school parking lot, when
Lauren felt something solid collide with the back of her head and
she stumbled forward on to the floor, one hand reaching up to
the area reflexively, a sharp pain shooting round to her temple
and making her feel disorientated and giddy. Lauren collided with
the floor solidly, a loud thud audible in the quiet parking lot and
she groaned noisily as her elbow hit the tarmac, sending a
shooting pain along her arm and up to her shoulder. “Shit,”
Lauren cursed, rolling on to her back from her right side, her eyes
closed as she reached up her left hand to feel the back of her skull
which was throbbing painfully from whatever had hit her. She felt
the slick warm moisture on her fingers almost immediately and
 knew that she was bleeding but, still reeling from the unexpected
blow, didn’t even consider the implications of its presence until
she heard the all too familiar voice of Rachel hovering above her.
“Hi Lauren,” Rachel greeted, kicking the brunette solidly in the
ribs with her foot and causing Lauren to curl up in to a ball, her
hands moving down to her stomach protectively. “You know it’s a
shame Camila had to run off so quickly.” Rachel said, kicking
Lauren again, this time firmly in the gut as someone else kicked
her from behind in the back. “I hadn’t quite finished with her
when she decided to so rudely disappear.” She continued, her
foot connecting with Lauren again and again as she spoke, the
greeneyed girl groaning with every contact she felt. Lauren
opened her eyes as Rachel crouched down in front of her face and
she sucked in a large lungful of air, trying to catch her breath after
having been winded from the multiple kicks to the stomach she’d
just suffered. “Your girlfriend is a fucking piece of work,” Rachel
spat angrily. “You know, she actually thinks she can just walk away
from me. That I’m not going to retaliate after what she did to
me.” “Are you fucking crazy?” Lauren managed to gasp, trying to
sit up but collapsing back against the floor when she felt someone
else’s foot collide with her side again. “No no,” Rachel said, “that
would be your girlfriend. Or haven’t you been paying attention?”
she asked Lauren rhetorically. Lauren saw David walk around from
behind her to stand beside Rachel who remained crouched down
in front of her. “You know I’ve always liked you Lauren,” Rachel
 said. “So I’m sorry that it’s come down to this but, really, it’s
Camila’s fault. Your girlfriend is so fucking damaged that there’s
no physical way I can get back at her. She even gave me a free
pass to hit her. Can you believe that?” she scoffed. Rachel patted
the side of Lauren’s face contemptuously as the other girl tried to
sit herself back up again. “I might still use that yet,” Rachel
mused. “Although, I don’t know what good it would be. She’s
probably better at inflicting pain on herself than I would ever be.
It’s interesting,” she commented. “As messed up as she is I never
would have expected the selfharm unless I’d seen the scars for my
own eyes. I mean, I knew she was pathetic, I just didn’t know she
was that pathetic.” Lauren grunted as David kicked her in the gut
again and Rachel sighed audibly. “'Do you know what I’ve come to
realise Lauren?’ Rachel asked her, not expecting or wanting an
answer as she steamrolled on. ‘Camila doesn’t care what happens
to her, but, you… well, she loves you. So, I finally understand now
that if I want to hurt her, I have to hurt you.’ She finished,
standing up and kicking her in the ribs again hard. Lauren moved
her hands up to protect her head as she felt David crouch low
over her and start hitting her furiously with his fists, Rachel still
kicking her torso unrelentingly at the same time. “David, wait a
minute,” Rachel said after a moment and Lauren heard David
stand up and step away from her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 18/20 Rachel crouched low in front of
Lauren again, a smirk appearing on her face at the sight of her cut
lip and bleeding nose. “Give Camila a message from me,” Rachel
started, knowing full well that what she was about to say wouldn’t
get back to the brunette’s girlfriend. “Tell her that until I’m
satisfied that she’s suffered enough for what she did, you’ll suffer
in her place. Tell her that every beating Ithink she’s owed, you’ll
get instead. You tell her that from me.” “Go to hell,” Lauren spat,
grimacing at a sharp pain in the side of her chest, one of her
hands darting to cover her bruised or broken rib protectively. She
knew exactly what Rachel was doing, she understood her game
perfectly. She wanted Lauren to tell Camila what had happened
and explain that it had been Rachel who had hurt her. Rachel
knew as well as Lauren that as soon as Camila found out what had
happened, she wouldn’t see reason, she would only see red and
ultimately she would do something reckless and end up in trouble
once again. “Ok,” Rachel said, standing up and kicking Lauren in
the shoulder. “Don’t tell her.” Rachel said, jabbing her heel in to
Lauren’s chest and eliciting a shout of pain from her at the
contact. “Break up with her instead.” Lauren actually heard
herself laugh at this suggestion and she suffered for the reflex
when David kicked her in the back of the head sharply. “There’s
two ways that we’ll leave you alone Lauren,” Rachel said. “First.
You tell Camila what happened and I’ll take this up with her
instead of you.” She explained. “Second. You end your
relationship with Camila. Break her heart, devastate her. Then I’ll
 leave you and her both alone.” Rachel said. “For some reason I
think seeing her emotionally suffer will be more than enough
compensation for the weeks of agony I had.” “You’re forgetting
the third option,” Lauren muttered, clutching at her side, her eyes
meeting Rachel’s. “Oh yeah and what’s that?” Rachel asked
amused at Lauren’s defiance. “Itell someone what you and David
have done and you both end up suspended.” Lauren said. “You
might even be expelled. Who knows?” “Hmm…” Rachel said. “I
don’t think you’ll want to tell anybody what happened, now…or in
the future.” “Why not?” Lauren laughed. “What have I got to
lose?” “Camila,” Rachel said simply, bending down over Lauren
again, her voice dropping low, the threat obvious. “You wouldn’t
touch her. You already said it wouldn’t be worth your while,”
Lauren challenged and Rachel clicked her tongue pointedly. “How
do you think Camila would fare after another trip to the
hospital?” Rachel asked her. “I hear she tends to enjoy her stays in
there. I’ve been told that they brighten her right up.” “If you
touch her I swear to God…” Lauren tried to protest, Rachel
smirking at the brunette as she lay on the floor in pain. “What
Lauren?” Rachel cut her off. “What exactly are you going to do? I
have a feeling you won’t be up to much of a fight after today. So
who’s going to protect her from me if you can’t?” “What the fuck
is wrong with you?” Lauren asked. “What the fuck happened to
you?” “Your fucking girlfriend happened!” Rachel responded
angrily. “She got in the fucking way and then she made a
 goddamn idiot out of me in front of the whole school!” “You’re
obsessed with her,” Lauren noted. “Why can’t you just drop it?
Why can’t you just let it go?” Rachel kicked Lauren hard again and
Lauren felt her breath catch in her throat for a moment, finding it
difficult to breathe. “I’m done talking,” Rachel said meaningfully.
“You have your options Lauren,” she told her plainly. “It’s your
decision. You either tell Camila what happened and I’ll be seeing
her soon,” she recounted. “Or you don’t and you break up with
her…she’ll hate you of
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68591427425/trialsand-
tribulationschapter54 19/20 course,” Rachel mused, “but that’s
only because she won’t realise that you’re doing it to protect
her.” Lauren felt David kick her in the back again, just above her
kidneys and she whimpered in response to the contact. “If you
want you can tell someone what happened, but, if you think that
what I have planned for Camila is anything like this then you’d be
mistaken. Trust me, this is nothing compared to what I could do.”
Rachel informed her. “Just keep in mind that if you don’t tell her
about me, if you choose to lie to her, I can always tell her. I mean,
Camila would be ok with you lying to her right? It’s not like she’d
be pissed about that or anything?” Lauren struggled to catch her
breath on the floor, feeling a little nauseous as her head spun
dizzily but knowing that if she chose to lie to Camila the likelihood
was that they would argue about it. “That’s what I thought,”
Rachel said when Lauren didn’t respond. “I’ll see you around
 Lauren,” Rachel told her, kicking her in the ribs again for good
measure before both her and David left, in what direction, Lauren
couldn’t be sure. “Shit,” Lauren cursed, rolling on to her back for a
minute, her body aching all over, a sharp searing pain running
down her right side and becoming exacerbated with every breath
that she took. “Shit,” she muttered again, her right arm fumbling
for her bag to find her phone. Lauren didn’t think she could even
get herself up off the ground, yet alone drive herself home she
was in so much pain. Lauren wasn’t sure who she was going to call
or what she was going to do, but she did know one thing. She was
well and truly fucked.
Chapter 55
A/N: Just….bear with me, lol x “Are you sure that you called her?”
Lauren asked Ally anxiously, biting her bottom lip subconsciously
and wincing in pain, the deep split which was now present in the
soft flesh there as a result of her beating having been
momentarily forgotten. “Yeah, I called her Lo,” Ally reassured her
friend, perching herself on the hospital bed beside Lauren and
facing the brunette with a concerned look on her face. “She’s on
her way here now.” “Ok,” Lauren said, nodding her head slightly
in response to the news. “Did you think about what you’re going
to tell her?” Ally asked the greeneyed girl, her tone serious.
“You’ve already lied to your parents about what happened…” she
pointed out, bewildered. “Ally please don’t give me that look,”
Lauren pleaded, resting her head against the back of the bed and
 closing her eyes for a brief moment to avoid Ally’s judgement. “I
already feel bad enough as it is and you looking at me like that
isn’t helping.” “I don’t understand why you called me?” Ally asked
her confused. “Why did you choose to call me over anyone else?
You knew what I’d say…” Lauren tilted her head forward again in
order to meet Ally’s gaze. “I can’t tell her,” Lauren said simply
already knowing where Ally was going with this thread of
conversation and the smaller girl glanced down at the starched
hospital linen covering her friend’s lower half, shaking her head in
disappointment. “Ally…” “You’re making a mistake,” Ally told her
honestly, cutting her off and lifting her eyes to meet Lauren’s
pointedly. “We’ve talked about this before remember? The same
day that you found her at the accident site before she went to
rehab.” she prodded gently. “You can’t lie to her about this Lo. It’s
not fair. She’s only ever been honest with you. Don’t make her
regret that.” “Ally I told you what Rachel said,” Lauren defended,
clutching at her side when a jolt of pain shot through it. She
gritted her teeth for a moment until it passed before continuing
on. “I told you what my options are. What do you want me to
do?” she gasped, evidently in pain. “If I tell Camz she’s going to
completely lose it and I can’t risk that. Not after the last time…”
“You still don’t trust her do you?” Ally asked knowingly. “Even
after everything she’s been through, you don’t trust her enough
to not react…” “You saw what happened today,” Lauren reminded
her. “Did she look like she’d be able to remain neutral, to keep her
 cool?” she asked, doubt laced in her words. “She came this close
to hitting Rachel earlier,” Lauren said, lifting up one hand and
holding her thumb and index finger slightly apart to emphasize
her point. “Do you really think she’ll be rational if she knows the
truth about what happened?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 2/15 “You won’t know how she’ll react
unless you tell her,” Ally countered. “You’re not even giving her
the opportunity to fail. You’re just making a unilateral decision for
her instead.” Ally paused for a moment, reaching one hand over
towards her friend and placing it over the back of Lauren’s own
supportively. “At the end of the day it’s your decision Lo,” Ally
told her. “I’ll not interfere in it, but don’t be surprised if this
comes back to bite you in the ass.” She said honestly. “If you don’t
tell her the truth then Rachel will. You know that just as much as I
do. She’ll take any opportunity she can to stir things up. You’ll be
playing right in to her hands.” She noted. “How do you think
Camila is going to feel when she finds out that you’ve lied to her?
Especially if it comes from Rachel and especially when it’s over
something as serious as this is.” Lauren sighed and ran her free
hand through her hair, grimacing in discomfort at the movement.
“You don’t have to protect Camila,” Ally commented
meaningfully. “You’re supposed to be in a relationship Lo. You’re
meant to be equals. You can’t keep treating her like she’s
incapable of looking out for herself or making her own decisions
 about things which affect her. She won’t thank you for it. You
know that.” Ally said gesturing towards the ring Camila had given
to Lauren which still encompassed her left middle finger. “She
wants you to trust her Lo. Camila told you as much herself. So why
can’t you do that?” Lauren dropped her eyes to the floor avoiding
Ally’s question, but the smaller girl could see her friend’s reason
plainly written across her face. “You’re scared,” Ally commented
sadly, understanding. Lauren looked up at her again and nodded
her head almost imperceptibly. “I can’t go through it again Ally,”
Lauren shared with her friend. “It was painful enough to lose her
the last time. I don’t know if I can watch her selfdestruct again…”
“Camila is not the same person that she was three months ago,”
Ally reminded Lauren poignantly. “Even you must see that Lo.”
She stated. “She’s completely different now. You have to believe
that she can deal with this, otherwise those ten weeks that she
was away at rehab meant nothing. Your separation meant
nothing.” “I believe in her,” Lauren responded unconvincingly,
wincing again as she tried to sit forward, her ribs protesting at the
movement painfully. “Then prove it,” Ally remarked. “Prove it by
telling her the truth about what happened. Then the two of you
can figure out what to do together. Don’t take that decision away
from her. Involve her in it. If you really believe in her, if you really
consider your relationship to be equal then you have to Lo.
Otherwise you could lose her anyway…” she trailed off affectively.
Ally gave Lauren a sad smile, reaching up her other hand to stroke
 the side of her head tenderly, tucking a stray strand of brunette
hair behind her friends’ ear and out of the way. “I know that
you’re scared but trust me,” Ally told her. “It’ll be alright, I
promise.” Lauren sighed heavily, making a face at her physical
discomfort. “What if it isn’t?” Lauren asked her. “What if it isn’t
alright?” “What are your other choices Lo?” Ally asked her. “Are
you going to break up with Camila? Because personally I can’t see
it and I don’t think that she would buy it after everything that
you’ve been through together. She’d see straight through you…”
“I can’t tell anyone what Rachel did,” Lauren said. “That’s not an
option Ally. Rachel was pretty clear with her threat towards Camz
if I did. I don’t want to see her back in here, not for any reason but
definitely not because of me, because of something that I did.” “It
wouldn’t be because of you though.” Ally protested. “It would be
because of Rachel. You can’t let her get away with this,” Ally
complained. “She broke two of your ribs Lo,” she stated
significantly. “You’re lucky she didn’t puncture your lung or
worse…” “I can’t watch Camila in pain,” Lauren said, ignoring
Ally’s words. “She’s suffered enough…” “I know that you love
her,” Ally said sympathetically, “and I understand that you want
to protect her Lo, I do, but do you really think that she’ll hurt any
less knowing that you
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 3/15 suffered in her place? Do you think
that she’ll be completely numb and unaffected by seeing you in
 here? You’re naïve if you think that she won’t be upset. She’s
going to be in pain one way or another. You need to do the right
thing.” Ally squeezed Lauren’s hand for a moment in her grasp.
“This is bigger than just you and Camila,” she shared seriously.
“What’s to stop Rachel doing this to someone else?” she asked.
“You have to tell someone. You’ve got a duty to do the right
thing.” “I…” Lauren started, stopping to glance up at Camila who
had just appeared in the doorway, a worried expression on her
face, her bottom lip jutting out miserably. “Hi,” Camila greeted
quietly, her left hand tapping the door frame uncertainly, her eyes
never leaving Lauren’s face. “Hi,” Lauren replied as Ally stood up
from where she was perched and wandered round the bed to lean
against the window sill. “I saw your parents outside talking to the
doctor,” Camila told her. “They said I could come in and see
you…is that ok?” she asked tentatively and Lauren smiled in
disbelief at Camila’s hesitation. “Of course you can,” she said,
holding out her hand for Camila who stepped in to the room, a
small smile of her own forming as she hurried over to take it. “Are
you ok?” Camila asked her anxiously, perching quickly onto the
bed beside Lauren in the space that Ally had occupied only a few
moments before. “You’re alright aren’t you? I mean, everything’s
ok…you don’t need surgery or anything?” “I’m alright,” Lauren
reassured her, placing a comforting hand on Camila’s shoulder.
“It’s just a few bruises that’s all…” “That’s all?” Ally asked, lifting
her eyebrow and causing Camila to look over at the smaller girl
momentarily before glancing back at Lauren. “I might also have a
couple of broken ribs,” Lauren relented, finally admitting the full
extent of her injuries to Camila, “and a mild concussion.” Camila
reached up and stroked the side of Lauren’s head gently, just
above her left eyebrow which was lacerated as a result of where
David had hit her, the dark stitches there fresh and obvious
against her pale complexion. She leant forward and kissed
Lauren’s brow affectionately as the thumb of her free hand
stroked Lauren’s cheek. “I thought I told you to be careful,”
Camila said before lowering her lips to Lauren’s mouth and
repeating the process there. Lauren gasped slightly in pain at the
contact, her lip still sore and Camila withdrew quickly, an
apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry,” Camila said regretfully, “I
didn’t mean to hurt you.” “It’s ok,” Lauren reassured her, running
her hand up and down Camila’s arm soothingly. “It wasn’t that
bad.” “I really want to hug you right now,” Camila admitted
refraining from wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and
pulling her against her closely. “You can if you want to,” Lauren
laughed, wincing in pain as her chest moved. Camila made a face
at the sight of her girlfriends’ agony. “I don’t think I can,” Camila
laughed, brushing her fingertips lightly against Lauren’s temple in
understanding. “Broken ribs fucking hurt,” she commented
playfully and Lauren couldn’t help but smile at her girlfriend’s
words, realising that she would probably know. “You’re telling
me,” Lauren answered, one side of her mouth lifting up into a
 halfsmile. “How many did you break?” she asked interestedly.
“Enough,” Camila replied evasively, grinning. “It’s not a
competition you know.” She teased. “I know,” Lauren answered.
“I’m just curious that’s all.” “Fine I broke nine,” Camila informed
her and Lauren’s face betrayed her surprise at the admission.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 4/15 “Shit,” she said, grimacing and moving
one hand down to hover over her ribcage protectively. “How did
you manage to breathe?” she asked keenly trying to suck in a
large lungful of air. “I’m struggling to inhale properly and I’ve only
broken two…” “I didn’t initially,” Camila replied bluntly.
“Ventilated and comatose, remember?” “Right,” Lauren recalled,
making a face again in discomfort. “What are they giving you for
the pain?” Camila asked and Lauren frowned, uncertain.
“Anything less than Oxycodone probably isn’t going to touch it.”
She told her seriously. “Even that didn’t help that much from
what I remember when I did eventually wake up.” “Ok thanks Dr
Cabello,” Lauren acknowledged amused, Camila’s eyebrow rising
significantly in response to the jest. “What?” Lauren asked
noticing the change, a smile appearing on her own lips at Camila’s
response, “Are you thinking about being a doctor now?” she
asked her. “No,” Camila answered quickly. “It just had a nice ring
to it, that’s all.” She chuckled. “Ithink you’d be a good doctor,”
Lauren told her seriously. “Maybe, but I hate doctors,” Camila
reminded her. “I hate hospitals too, come to think about it…” She
added glancing around the room. “I don’t think I could ever work
in one.” “You know your speech is much better now,” Lauren
noted, trying to stall the inevitable conversation which would
have to take place and changing the subject swiftly again. “You
were right earlier,” Camila confessed, stroking Lauren’s temple
subconsciously. “I just needed a minute to calm down and relax a
little.” “Did you do something to help?” Lauren asked her and
Camila smiled mischievously. “I got Dinah to give me a massage,”
She joked, trying to make Lauren feel better. “It worked a treat.”
Camila added winking at the brunette who laughed at her
girlfriend’s stupidity, grimacing again at the shooting pain across
her chest. “Sorry,” Camila apologised. “I probably shouldn’t be so
witty when you’ve got a couple of broken rib but it’s so hard when
it comes this naturally…” she jested. “Where is Dinah?” Lauren
asked. “Wasn’t she with you?” “She is in the gift shop picking you
up some magazines with Normani,” Camila told her finally
realising Lauren’s tactic and determining to put a stop to it.
“Besides, stop trying to change the subject,” she chastised. “I
thought I told you to be careful? What happened?” “Ally didn’t
tell you?” Lauren asked, giving her friend a sideways look. “No,”
Camila answered also turning her attention to the small girl who
was still sitting off to the side for a moment. “She just called and
said that you were in here,” Camila told her. “She said that you
were ok, but wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. She said she’d let
you explain.” Camila twisted on the bed slightly to address Ally.
 “You gave me heart palpitations by the way,” Camila shared with
her honestly. “My chest still kind of hurts now.” She said lightly,
moving one hand up to rub at it for a minute. “Next time a few
details wouldn’t go amiss.” she moaned, turning back to Lauren
and studying her closely for the first time since she’d come in to
the room. “I thought softball was noncontact?” she asked
confused finally noticing the extent of the bruising to Lauren’s
right cheek and the split lip as she concentrated on her girlfriends’
face. “At least I didn’t see anything in the rules about…” she
stopped short, her mind quickly changing course. “Wait, why do
you look like you’ve gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson?” “Maybe
because I kind of did,” Lauren admitted, casting an eye at Ally who
smiled at her encouragingly. “What do you mean?” Camila asked
not quite understanding Lauren’s insinuation. “You hurt yourself
playing softball didn’t you?” “No,” Lauren replied. “I don’t
understand,” Camila said confused. “Weren’t you still at school
when this happened?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 5/15 “Yeah I was,” Lauren confirmed.
“Ijust…I wasn’t playing softball that’s all.” Camila glanced between
Lauren and Ally for a moment. “What so…you fell?” she asked
doubtfully, her mind slow. “Landed on your face?” “Camz…”
Lauren said, twisting Camila’s hand in her own so that she could
play with her fingers. “We should probably talk about something.”
“Alright,” Camila said, shifting her position on the bed slightly and
giving Lauren her full attention. “Ok,” Lauren said, looking over at
Ally and searching for her friends’ support. “Just, promise me
something before Itell you…” “What’s going on?” Camila said
glancing between Lauren and Ally again, sensing something was
wrong. “Please Camz,” Lauren said, reaching up a hand to turn her
face back in her direction and forcing Camila to meet her eyes.
“You have to promise me that you won’t get mad when Itell you
what happened?” “Get mad?” Camila asked her. “Mad about
what? What happened?” “Promise me.” Lauren requested but
Camila shook her head. “I don’t feel like I can promise you that,”
Camila said honestly. “You’re kind of worrying me Lauren.” She
divulged. “You wouldn’t have asked me to promise you to not get
mad if you didn’t think that I would…” Lauren sighed and looked
at Ally for help, the smaller girl standing up from where she’d
been perched and walking over to the bed. “Lo just tell her,” Ally
prompted the brunette reassuringly. “Camz, I didn’t fall,” Lauren
told her sighing audibly. “It wasn’t a softball injury, it wasn’t an
accident, it was Rachel…” “Rachel?” Camila asked her face
remaining perplexed for a mere instant before realisation
dawned. “Rachel?” she repeated more firmly, finally
understanding. “Are you fucking joking?!” Camila cursed angrily.
“She fucking did this to you?!” she asked standing up from the
bed and making a move towards the door. “Camz you promised
me that you wouldn’t get mad,” Lauren said, grasping hold of her
girlfriend’s wrist and trying to pull her back on to the bed,
 swearing under her breath at the pain shooting through her ribs
once again in response to the sudden movement. Camila spun
back around to face Lauren evidently seething at this new piece of
information. “No I didn’t,” Camila returned irately. “I never
promised you that and I’m glad because I’m not mad Lauren, I’m
fucking livid! Is she fucking crazy?! What the fuck did you ever do
to her?!” she asked. Lauren didn’t say anything in response. She
just held Camila’s gaze not knowing quite what to say to try and
calm her girlfriend down, her doubts from earlier about disclosing
the truth now seemingly valid. Camila exhaled, lifting a hand to
her head for a moment and closing her eyes, a contemptuous
chuckle leaving her lips. “You didn’t do anything to her,” she said
comprehending the truth of the matter, her tone lowering
dramatically. “I did.” She acknowledged sadly. “She’s pissed at me
but she took it out on you didn’t she?! This is all my fault.” “It’s
not your fault,” Lauren reassured her, now understanding Ally’s
words from earlier to be true. “It’s her fault Camz. She chose to
do this. It was her decision.” “What does she want?” Camila asked
Lauren knowingly. “Did she tell you what she wanted Lauren?
Because I already offered her the chance to hit me and she
didn’t,” Camila said frustrated. “So what the fuck is it that she
wants exactly?” “She wants to wind you up Camz,” Lauren told
her simply. “She wants this,” she said gesturing at the smaller girl.
“She wants you to go after her but you can’t alright? Just stay
away from her please…”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 6/15 “She beat the crap out of you Lauren!”
Camila responded; her anger rising again as her eyes fell on her
girlfriend, the hospital gown she wore not quite managing to hide
the bruising to her neck and arms. “You think I’m really going to
let her get away with this shit?” she asked, running a hand
through her hair heatedly as she paced back and forth on the
spot, furious. “What are you going to do?” Lauren asked her. “Are
you going to go and find her Camz? Are you going to go and break
her nose again?” she questioned nervously. “That’s what started
all this fucking stuff to begin with…” Camila stopped her pacing to
look at Lauren who instantly regretted her words. “I’m sorry that
wasn’t fair,” Lauren apologised. “I know you didn’t mean to hit
her…” “Camila I don’t think marching out of here to confront her
is the best idea right now, do you?” Ally asked the other girl,
changing the subject quickly. “If you retaliate you’ll be just as bad
as she is.” “I’m not going to retaliate,” Camila said loudly,
acknowledging how her current position, how her agitated stance
must look to them. “Camz you don’t exactly look calm right now,”
Lauren said. “So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not exactly filled
with confidence at your reassurances.” “I’m not going after her.”
Camila repeated seriously. “I promise.” She said noting their
doubtful looks. “Need I remind you that her face broke my fucking
fist the last time I hit her.” Camila cursed, trying to make a point.
“Do you know what I can do with a semifunctioning left hand
 when my right one is out of action?” she asked them both
rhetorically. “Pretty much fuck all.” “Camz you almost hit her
earlier today though,” Lauren reminded her. “That was earlier,”
Camila replied dismissively, still agitated. “I wasn’t ready to deal
with her then. She caught me off guard.” She shared still
obviously frustrated with herself, “but it’s different now Lauren.”
She said, putting her girlfriend a little more at ease. “I’ve worked
too fucking hard for her to ruin everything for me now. For us.”
She said meaningfully. “I’m not going to let her.” She stated the
flash of anger from moments ago starting to dissipate. “Really?”
Lauren asked relieved to hear the words from Camila’s lips. “You
mean it?” “Yes,” Camila replied, exhaling loudly, trying to regain
some composure as she moved across the room and back over to
the bed where she sat down beside her girlfriend again. “I mean it
Lauren. I promised you that I’d try didn’t I?” she asked, picking up
Lauren’s left hand and fiddling with the ring there meaningfully.
“I’m not going to retaliate but it doesn’t mean I’m going to idly sit
by and let her get away with this either…” “I didn’t want to tell
you the truth Camz,” Lauren shared with Camila hesitantly
dropping her gaze to their entwined hands. “I was worried how
you’d react after this morning. I’m sorry.” She apologised looking
in to Camila’s chocolate eyes again. “It’s ok,” Camila told her,
smiling sadly. “I guess I didn’t really give you any reason to believe
in me after the way that I reacted to her today. I don’t blame you
for doubting me. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have raised my voice
 just now and I shouldn’t have gotten angry with her earlier but
she makes me so fucking angry Lauren. How dare she fucking do
this to you? I’ll fucking kill her.” Lauren gave her a pointed look
and she blew out a large volume of air in resignation. “I mean, I
won’t.” Camila said, “But, just for the record, I want to.” Camila
reached her free hand up and brushed Lauren’s cheek with her
thumb unhappily. “She’s gone too far this time though Lauren,”
Camila said. “She put you in the fucking hospital. You can’t ignore
that. We can’t ignore that.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
her. “I mean we have to tell someone,” Camila told her. “Your
parents will make you tell the school anyway so you might as well
report it…” “I can’t report it Camz,” Lauren interrupted panicked.
“We can’t tell the police.” “Why not?” Camila asked confused, her
brow creasing.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 7/15 “My parents don’t know who did this.”
She informed her. “You didn’t tell them?” Camila asked, glancing
at Ally who shrugged in response, just as baffled as Camila.
“Lauren, you have to tell them the truth.” “I can’t.” Lauren
argued. “I can’t tell them. This has to stay between us.” “What so
Rachel just gets away with it?” Camila asked her. “What did you
tell your parents when they asked you who did this to you?” “I
said I didn’t see who it was,” Lauren answered. “I said I didn’t
know.” “Why?” Camila asked. “Why would you lie about this?
What’s to stop Rachel from doing it again if she thinks that she
 can get away with it?” “Please Camila you don’t understand,”
Lauren began but Camila spoke up before she could continue.
“Then explain it to me,” Camila encouraged. “What’s going on?”
she asked, her thumb moving up to caress Lauren’s brow
soothingly. “Please Lauren. You said we were going to be honest
with each other. No more lies remember?” “She threatened you
Camz alright?” Lauren choked out. “She said she’d do worse to
you then she did to me and I’m scared that she actually would. I
mean, if she can do this to me then why wouldn’t she? I can’t risk
anything happening to you. I won’t…” “Lauren,” Camila said, her
hand sliding around to the back of her girlfriends’ neck as she
closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Lauren’s
carefully. “You don’t need to worry about me. It’s my turn to
worry about you for a change.” She said sighing audibly again.
“You’ve been caught up in my drama for far too long now and it’s
not fair. Not when you end up getting hurt. Not when you end up
in here battered and bruised…” Camila lifted her head again to
look in to Lauren’s eyes. “It’s ok,” she reassured her. “It’ll be
alright, you’ll see.” “Rachel’s my exgirlfriend,” Lauren reminded
her, ignoring her attempts at placating her. “This is my drama
Camz. I bought her in to your life, not the other way round.” “We
could argue about this all day,” Camila said, “but it doesn’t change
the fact that you have to tell your parents what happened.” “No,”
Lauren said stubbornly. “Camz, Rachel will find a way to get back
at you if I do…” “If you don’t tell them Lauren then I will,” Camila
threatened. “You can’t do that,” Lauren said. “Sure I can,” Camila
responded. “This isn’t your decision to make it’s mine.” Lauren
argued. “This is just as much my decision as it is yours,” Camila
disagreed. “She’s threatened me too so surely I should get some
say in this?” she asked squeezing Lauren’s had in her own.
“What’s the worst that she could do?” Camila queried. “She’s not
going to kill me Lauren. She’s not a complete psychopath.” “I’m
not so sure about that,” Lauren replied, laughing a little despite
herself. Camila planted a soft kiss against Lauren’s forehead
briefly. “You don’t have to protect me,” Camila muttered against
Lauren’s skin. “You don’t need to look out for me Lauren.
Remember? We had a deal you and me…you said that you’d let
me do things for you. You promised me.” She reminded her. “I’m
willing to take this risk for you ok? I want to. It’s a risk worth
taking if it means you’ll never have to worry about this happening
to you again.” “What if she hurts you Camz?” Lauren asked.
“What if you end up back in here?” “Then make sure that they
give me a private room with an en suite,” Camila joked and
Lauren smiled. “Can you not joke about this?” Lauren scolded.
“I’m being serious.” “Me too,” Camila responded. “The last time I
was in here with a nose bleed they stuck me on a ward with a
communal bathroom.” She told her. “I didn’t have my pyjamas or
anything and got stuck in one of their gowns…” she continued, a
smile playing on her lips. “I ended up flashing my ass to the whole
room every time I got up.”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 8/15 “You wouldn’t have heard me
complaining if I’d seen to that,” Lauren teased her. “That’s
because you’re a pervert,” Camila said playfully, kissing her on the
lips and causing Lauren to wince a little in response. “If anyone in
this relationship is a pervert it’s you,” Lauren countered. “Yeah,
well, that’s fair,” Camila agreed. “I was checking out all your team
mates earlier. They’re pretty hot you know. Now I can see why
you took up softball.” Lauren shook her head in dismay. “That is
not why Itook up softball.” she disagreed. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,”
Camila said dismissively. “Of course it wasn’t.” Camila stared into
Lauren’s piercing green eyes for a moment and brushed her dark
locks with her free hand. “I love you for trying to look out for me,”
Camila said gratefully, returning to their previous topic of
conversation. “You know how much I appreciate the way that
you’re always trying to shelter me, but enough is enough Lauren. I
don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I need you to think
about yourself.” She paused for a minute and sighed. “You’re
really pretty,” Camila complimented her, living up to her promise
to praise Lauren if she was having a bad day, “and this hospital
gown really brings out your eyes,” she commented, smiling
broadly, her tone sincere, but if I have to see you in it because of
Rachel again I can’t promise that I won’t hit her with something
really fucking heavy….you know, like a car or something.” “Camz,”
Lauren protested. “I’m fucking serious Lauren,” Camila told her.
 “Let’s see how she fares after a head on collision with a speeding
piece of metal. We’ll see if she still wants to hassle me then.”
“You can’t drive,” Lauren informed her only halfjoking. “Fine then
you run her over.” Camila said playfully, leaning her forehead
against Lauren’s once more, her girlfriend smiling. “One way or
another though we’ll going to deal with Rachel alright?” she
asked. “Properly,” she added. “No more of this playground
bullshit Lauren, my head can’t deal with it alright? We need to
talk to someone…” “My parents though?” Lauren questioned. “Do
you have any better suggestions?” she asked. “What about Miss
Lovato?” Lauren asked. “She’ll tell your parents anyway,” Camila
informed her. “You might as well just cut out the middle man.”
“She’s right,” Ally agreed with Camila. “Miss Lovato will have to
tell your parents. You’re better off just getting it over with Lo.”
“My mom is already disappointed in me enough,” Lauren said to
Camila meaningfully. “Lauren it’s not like you started this,” Ally
reminded her. “You were hit on the head from behind and
attacked. They’re not going to be upset with you.” “What about
you?” Lauren asked Camila. “What about me?” Camila countered.
“What if Rachel does act on her threat and does the same thing to
you?” she asked. “Camz, I don’t mean to keep bringing it up but
any direct trauma to the head could be devastating for you…”
“Lauren,” Camila said. “If Rachel had done this to you and I wasn’t
around what would you have done?” Camila questioned her. “If
you didn’t have to worry about me would you have told your
 parents?” “That’s a hypothetical question,” Lauren responded
unimpressed. “It doesn’t make a difference because it’s not the
case Camz.” “Would you just answer her,” Ally admonished
Lauren.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 9/15 “Would you tell the police?” Camila
asked her, actively seeking a response. “Yes,” Lauren finally
admitted. “I guess.” “So what’s the difference between the
situation now and the hypothetical one?” Camila asked her,
rubbing the back of Lauren’s hand with the pad of her thumb.
“You are. You’re the difference Camz.” Lauren told her. “So I’ll go
home and you can tell them,” Camila said playfully. “Problem
solved.” “The problem is not solved,” Lauren laughed, clutching at
her chest again. “Shit, that fucking hurts.” “Here,” Camila said,
leaning forward and kissing Lauren’s brow again, first once, then
again, her lips tracing a line down the side of her face and on to
her cheek until she reached Lauren’s mouth again where she
lingered a moment longer. “Camz just because you’re not here
when I tell them doesn’t mean the threat is lifted. She’s really
fucking crazy.” Lauren told her as though Camila wasn’t already
aware. “Look you can be pissed at me all you want.” Camila told
her, bringing her hand to the side of Lauren’s neck. “I don’t care.
Alright? I’m serious Lauren, if you don’t tell your parents then I
will.” She threatened again. “Rachel needs to be made
accountable for her actions and that’s only going to happen if you
 tell someone what she did.” “What if she tries to get you in
trouble for what you did to her?” Lauren asked. “She still could
you know Camz.” “Then she does,” Camila answered
unconcerned. “Maybe I deserve it, but at least then she can no
longer hold it over my head.” “It wasn’t just her that did this
though” Ally added from her position on the other side of the
bed. “Ally,” Lauren warned. “Who else was it?” Camila asked
thoughtfully, shaking her head in disbelief when she came to the
conclusion of her own accord. “David?” she asked and her
girlfriend nodded in the affirmative. “For fuck sake Lauren.” She
cursed halfheartedly, not irritated at her girlfriend so much as she
was the situation. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”
“Only that she tried to get me to break up with you,” Lauren
divulged. “As if that would ever happen.” She mused. “You’re
stuck with me for life now I’m afraid.” “In that case you should
probably get used to me telling you what to do,” Camila told her,
raising an eyebrow. “What makes you think that I’d just blindly do
anything that you’d tell me anyway?” Lauren asked her and
Camila quirked her eyebrow again and tilted her head in
response. “Jesus,” Lauren breathed and Ally laughed perceptively
as Camila kissed Lauren on the tip of the nose. “So we’re telling
your parents?” Camila asked Lauren, tracing one side of her
girlfriends’ mouth with her thumb, studying her features closely.
“What even if this might end badly for you?” Lauren asked her
worriedly. “Yeah,” Camila answered her, seemingly lost admiring
Lauren’s face, her eyes taking in her strong brows, her long lashes,
her cheek bones. “Camz,” Lauren said putting one hand onto her
girlfriend’s shoulder. “Seriously, think about this for a moment…”
“I’m thinking,” Camila interjected. “I’m always thinking Lauren.”
“This could hurt you,” Lauren said. “I’m already hurt Lauren,”
Camila told her plainly. “Seeing you like this hurts me. Knowing it
was partly because of my actions hurts me. Understanding that
there is very little that I can do to help make you feel better hurts
me, but I can do this. I can face anything as long as we’re doing it
together and you’re here with me so, no more arguments ok?”
She smiled as she lifted up Lauren’s hand and kissed the back of it
happily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 10/15 “Besides, if the worst comes to worst
we can always just pretend to break up for Rachel’s benefit.”
Camila suggested. “I think I’d quite like to have a pretend fight
with you in public. It’s not like I go to school with you anymore is
it? How would she ever know that it was all a charade?” “It might
be kind of fun to sneak around,” Lauren agreed making a face as
she remembered how they were still being punished for the last
time they’d done just that. “On second thought…” she said
wistfully. “Maybe that isn’t such a great idea.” “So?” Camila
prompted. “We’re agreed?” she asked. “We’re going to do this?”
“Ok,” Lauren replied, actually believing that maybe this would all
be alright. She was pleased that she’d told Camila the truth,
pleased that her girlfriend seemed to be keeping a level head and
planned on staying away from Rachel. She was even pleased with
the thought of letting her parents know, the logical part of her
brain telling her it was for the best, that it really was the right
thing to do for everyone. After all, that had been her initial
thought when Rachel had first offered her the two ultimatums, to
get someone of a more authoritative position involved. Camila
was right, what exactly could Rachel do to her? Camila only really
came to school to watch Lauren’s games and if she had to settle
for her girlfriend not coming to them in order to keep her safe,
then she could live with that. So they’d meet at each other’s
house from now on instead of Camila waiting outside of the
school gates with Jasper. Or they’d go to one of the other girls’
houses more often instead of the diner. They could always find
somewhere else to eat, an alternative place to hang out. It wasn’t
the end of the world if they had to adapt their routine slightly to
avoid the other girl. “Ok,” Lauren agreed again, glancing between
Ally and Camila. “Yeah, I’ll tell them.” “Thank God,” Ally said
gladly, placing a thankful hand on Camila’s shoulder as the small
brunette smiled at Lauren and squeezed her hand. “Thank you,”
she said, kissing the back of Lauren’s hand again. “I can promise
you that you won’t regret this,” Camila assured her, smiling
brightly. “I’m going to be the best nurse whilst you’re getting
better. You’ll see…just, don’t ask me to like, help with anything
that requires a certain amount of dexterity.” She noted wiggling
 the fingers of her left hand significantly. “Anything else you want
though and I’m your girl.” “I want you,” Lauren smiled back
amused. “Well, I’m your girl,” Camila told her happily as Clara and
Mike reemerged from outside. “I want you to hug me,” Lauren
said and Camila looked taken aback a little. “What about your
ribs?” Camila asked her uncertainly. “Fuck it,” Lauren commented.
“It’ll be worth it.” “You’re such a badass,” Camila told her, pulling
her in to a cautious embrace, careful not to squeeze her too
tightly in her arms. “Yeah well Ilearnt it from you,” Lauren
responded, holding her breath a little to try and brace herself
from the pain as her parents approached the bed. Camila released
Lauren and took her hand firmly in her own, pulling it onto her
lap. “Well, the doctors say that once the pharmacy has issued
your meds we can take you home,” Clara told Lauren pleased,
placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder. “I bet you’re sick of this place
by now aren’t you Camila?” “Actually I’m starting to get used to
it.” Camila joked, looking around the room. “It’s quite nice not
actually being the one in the uncomfortable bed for a change but I
am thinking of buying some throws or a plant or something for
the next time I’m here. You know, make it a bit more homely.”
“I’m hoping that neither of you will have to be back here again
anytime soon,” Clara laughed. “Unless you know something that I
don’t…” “I’m pregnant,” Camila blurted out reflexively in jest and
Lauren almost choked on her own saliva at the sound of the
words, grabbing hold of her side and grimacing as she spluttered
 painfully.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 11/15 “Shit!” Camila swore, putting a hand
on her girlfriends’ shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She apologised to Lauren
before turning to Clara. “Sorry,” she apologised to Lauren’s mom
realising the joke was probably in bad taste after recent
developments and realising that she’d also cursed in front of her.
“It was just a joke. I mean, I was just trying to be funny but I
realise now that I wasn’t…” “Jesus Camz,” Lauren said and Camila
had the good sense to look contrite. “I didn’t know you had it in
you Lauren,” Mike teased, putting a hand on Lauren’s shoulder
and grinning broadly, not partial to all the details pertaining to the
progression of Lauren and Camila’s physical relationship. “I
thought for sure that Chris would be the first one to give us a
grandchild.” “Mike,” Clara scolded her husband, but she had a
smile on her face when she next looked at Camila whose cheeks
had flushed red and were now glowing brightly. “Itake it that you
didn’t see what happened today?” Lauren’s mom asked Camila
and she shook her head. “No,” she confirmed tentatively. “I
wasn’t there.” “Lauren the police officer that was here earlier
gave us his number in case you remembered anything about the
assault.” She told her daughter as she flashed her a small piece of
card. “Are you sure that you don’t remember anything that
happened?” “Actually,” Lauren answered, casting one final,
searching look at Camila who nodded her head encouragingly, “I
 might have lied before when I said I couldn’t remember what
happened.” “Lauren,” Clara chastised. “Why would you do that?”
“I was scared.” She admitted openly and her mom sighed, sharing
a pointed look with Mike. “I’ll give him a call,” he said, reaching
out and taking the card from his wife before exiting the room.
“Hey Lauren!” Dinah called as she entered the room in Mike’s
wake, Normani close on her heels. “Me and Mani have literally
bought up the whole gift shop for….you…” she trailed off sensing
the mood in the room. “Ok, who died?” she asked. “No one died,”
Camila answered glaring at her as Clara looked at her daughter
questioningly. “So come on then sweetheart,” Clara asked her
daughter. “Out with it. Who did this?” Lauren glanced at Camila
and Clara noticed the gesture, turning her attention to the smaller
girl as well. “Camila?” Clara asked her. “I…” Camila started, not
wanting to answer for Lauren, knowing that it had to come from
her. “It was Rachel and David,” Lauren admitted to her mom
finally, saving Camila. “Rachel Murphy and David Johnson.” “Is
this the same girl that you hit?” Clara asked Camila. “Yes,” she
answered truthfully. “Wait Rachel beat the crap out of you?”
Dinah asked Lauren throwing the bag on to the floor at feet
angrily. “Wait until I see her next! I’ll teach her not to mess with
my friends again…” “No you won’t,” Clara said, glancing at Dinah
pointedly. “No one is going to do anything do you all hear me?”
she asked, looking round at the faces assembled in the room.
“You’re all to stay away from this Rachel alright?” she requested.
 “David too; we’ll let the school and the police deal with this.”
“Fine,” Dinah reluctantly agreed; Ally and Normani also muttering
similar promises in response to Clara’s instruction. “Camila?” the
older woman questioned. “I can promise to stay away from her
but I can’t promise she’ll stay away from me,” Camila said
seriously. “She kind of hates me.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 12/15 Clara looked like she was about to
say something in response but stopped herself, furrowing her
brow thoughtfully. “Girls would you give us a minute,” Clara asked
and they all made a move towards the door to allow Clara to
speak to Lauren alone, Camila planting a quick kiss to her
girlfriends’ forehead as she stood up off the bed. “Not you
Camila,” Clara said and the rest of the girls gave her a brief
questioning look before exiting through the door, Ally pulling it
closed behind her. “Is everything alright?” Lauren asked Clara
hesitantly, as Camila sat back down on the edge of her bed, not
quite sure why she’d been asked to stay. “Look I have to be
honest with you both,” Clara said sadly as she turned her
attention to her daughter’s girlfriend. “I like you Camila, I do but
you need to understand that Lauren is my main priority, she
always will be.” “Mom,” Lauren said, not liking where this was
going one bit. “No, listen to me a minute,” Clara said, cutting her
off before she’d even had a chance to protest. “I think that I’ve
been supportive of your relationship up until this point.” She said.
“I think that considering everything that has happened, especially
recently I have been extremely tolerant, but, I have to draw a line
somewhere girls and I’m afraid that this is it.” “What do you
mean?” Camila asked. “Camila you’re a nice girl,” Clara said, “and
this isn’t personal because as I’ve already said I like you, but,
when my daughter ends up in hospital because of an ongoing
feud that you have with some girl at school I don’t think it’s
unreasonable of me to suggest that perhaps you guys need a little
bit of space from one another.” “What?” Lauren asked
dumbstruck. “You can’t be serious? Mom?” “I’m sorry Lauren,”
Clara said, as Camila looked at her girlfriend, lost for words,
surprise registering on her face, “I’m not trying to be unfair and I
know that this isn’t necessarily Camila’s fault but ever since the
two of you have started dating I can’t seem to keep you out of
trouble Lauren. No matter how much room I give you to be
independent and do the right thing…” “The only reason I even
told you about Rachel and David was because of Camz,” Lauren
told her. “You can’t punish us for that.” “Exactly Lauren,” Clara
told her. “The fact that you lied to me about it in the first place is
a problem in itself. I thought that we’d talked about this? I
thought that you’d promised me no more lies and now I find out
that you purposefully withheld information from me and your
father about something which is potentially really serious and
could have ended up a lot worse than a few broken ribs.” “This
isn’t her fault,” Lauren complained gesturing to Camila who was
perched beside her unmoving. “This isn’t fair. Camz didn’t do this.
You can’t keep us apart…” “First it was your grades,” Clara reeled
off and Camila gave Lauren a confused look, still not knowing
about the problems her girlfriend had been having with a
declining GPA before her admission to rehab. “Then there was the
incident a few weeks ago,” she continued meaningfully. “Now
this. What am I supposed to do Lauren?” she asked. “My job is to
look out for you and I think the fact that we’re in this situation
now proves that I’ve obviously been doing something wrong
lately.” She said. “I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt the
last time and I think under the circumstances that you got off
lightly but I can’t ignore this anymore and the only thing that I can
think to do is to insist that the two of you don’t see each other for
a while. At least until this has all settled down a bit and we’ve
dealt with this whole ‘Rachel’ situation appropriately.” She
paused for a minute to talk to Camila who was watching her
quietly, unsure what to say. “I’m sorry Camila,” Clara said to her.
“I am but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Camila made a
move to stand up but Lauren reached for her hand, grabbing hold
of it tightly. “No wait,” Lauren complained, grimacing as her side
protested from being moved so suddenly. “Don’t go.” “Lauren,”
Clara said firmly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/68919700296/trialsand-
tribulationschapter55 13/15 “It’s ok,” Camila said, glancing
nervously at Clara before meeting Lauren’s gaze. “It’s just for a
while right?” she asked Lauren’s mom and not getting a response
either way. “It’s just until everything is sorted out and you’re on
the mend again.” She said turning back to Lauren and squeezing
her hand reassuringly. “I mean, you’ll probably be really boring
over the next couple of weeks anyway whilst you recover.” Camila
tried to joke laughing. “There’s not much that you can do with
broken ribs except sit around and you don’t need me for that…”
Camila glanced uncertainly at Clara for a moment. “I’ll call you,”
Camila said, her eyes waiting for confirmation from Lauren’s mom
that she was ok with that and receiving it with a small nod of the
head. “For half an hour,” Clara allowed. “No more.” “See?” Camila
said, her gut wrenching despite her bravado. “We just can’t see
each other. I mean, you’re still technically grounded anyway. It’s
no different to that really…” “It’s not forever,” Clara agreed,
supporting Camila’s observation. “Just a few weeks so that we can
figure all this out. We’ll reexamine it then ok?” “I can’t believe
you’re doing this,” Lauren protested. “It’s happening Lauren,”
Clara told her sternly. “Now say goodbye.” “I’m sorry,” Lauren
apologised to Camila who was leaning back over the bed,
hovering above Lauren. “It’s ok,” Camila reassured her, placing a
hand on Lauren’s cheek and stroking it with the pad of her thumb
for a moment, her other hand entwined with her girlfriend’s. “It’s
alright…I’ll be fine…just, talk to the police and tell them what
happened. The truth, remember?” she said, kissing her on the
forehead and the lips in quick succession. “I’ll call you every day.”
 She promised. “Just concentrate on getting better. That’s the
most important thing.” “This isn’t fair on you,” Lauren told her.
“This isn’t your fault Camz.” “It’s alright,” Camila repeated,
brushing the side of Lauren’s face again and connecting their
foreheads for a moment, closing her eyes. “I’ll be fine…it’ll give
me a chance to brush up on my dance skills or something,” she
joked again, separating their heads to look in Lauren’s eyes. “I’ll
be fine, don’t worry…” “I love you,” Lauren told her and Camila
kissed her on the lips again carefully before letting go of her hand
and drawing back. “I love you too,” she said in response before
turning around and coming face to face with Lauren’s mom who
was looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face.
“Thank you,” Clara said to Camila and she nodded once in
acknowledgement before walking briskly towards the door,
closing her eyes as she did so, not wanting to look back at Lauren
for fear of crying right then and there on the spot. When she got
to the door, Camila opened it slowly and unable to abstain any
longer, quickly glanced back at her girlfriend who was watching
her dejectedly from her position on the bed. Camila’s eyes met
Lauren’s for the briefest of moments but neither of them said
anything, both resigned to their fate, Camila only pausing for a
beat longer before turning and disappearing through the door,
Ally, Dinah and Normani, who had been waiting outside watching
her leave, puzzled expressions on their faces. Dinah followed after
Camila almost instantly on seeing the look on Lauren’s face and
 Normani and Ally both watched as Clara left the room too, the
pair of them going inside to see what had just transpired in their
absence once the older woman had disappeared in search of her
husband.
Chapter 56
A/N: So…I don’t even know…sorry, lol. “Hi Lauren,” Camila said
hesitantly. “I know that I must look a bit of a mess right now but
that’s because I am a mess…I’m in a right fucking mess and I don’t
know what to do anymore. I don’t know what I should be doing…I
don’t…I don’t understand…” Camila sobbed, dropping her gaze to
the floor for a moment and avoiding the camera lens in an
attempt to hide her face, her tears;feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry,”
Camila said; her voice low, quiet. “I’m so sorry…this is all my
fault…I’m such a fucking idiot…I just…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…it’s
not fair on you, I know…you don’t deserve this shit…you don’t
deserve to be lumbered with me…but I had to do something…I
had to send you something…” Camila lifted her face again and she
looked gaunt and pale, the dark circles under her eyes betraying
her lack of sleep. “I miss you…I miss you so much Lauren and it
hurts, everything hurts. I just want to die. I don’t want this
anymore…I don’t…I can’t do it. Not without you. Not on my
own….it’s too hard…my thoughts…they’re too much…they fucking
taunt me Lauren. They don’t stop. It’s all they do. It’s all they do,
every second of every day and I can’t silence them, I can’t. They’re
all I hear.” Camila wiped at her face with the back of her left hand,
rubbing at her eyes furiously, angrily. “My thoughts…I can’t switch
them off…they just…they won’t shut up.” She said firmly, her
voice strong again. “Why won’t they just shut the fuck up for five
minutes? Just five minutes…” she trailed off, her voice breaking,
her tone pleading. “Is that too much to ask?” she continued, her
raspy voice sounding even more so in her distress. “Is it too much
to ask for them to just shut the fuck up? They’re making my head
hurt,” Camila divulged. “It’s so fucking painful that it makes me
want to bang it up against a wall until I can’t hear anything
else…until, I can’t think anymore…until there’s just silence… Ijust
want it to be silent…I need it…please, Ijust…I need it to stop…”
Camila glanced around the room she was sat in seemingly
distracted. “I fucking hate it here,” she shared. “There’s too many
people and they won’t leave me alone…they keep checking up on
me all the time…they’re worried…they’re worried that I’ll do
something and they’re right to be.” She admitted. “If I could just
be alone properly, just for a few minutes…just, alone…with
something…like…like a knife…then I don’t know…” Camila said
thoughtfully, her eyes looking past the camera at the wall. She
sighed wistfully, changing topic slightly. “They keep wanting me to
talk…” she said, her thoughts skipping around in her head and
translating in to disconnected speech. “Everyone keeps telling me
that I need to talk but I don’t want to talk to them…I fucking hate
them.” She shouted. “They’re just keeping me here…trapped…I
feel like I’m trapped and I can’t breathe Lauren…I feel like I’m
suffocating…it’s so fucking claustrophobic here.” Camila wiped at
her nose with her sleeve, sniffling noisily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 2/12 “I feel like I’m dying,” Camila said, her
tears leaving wet streaks against her cheeks in their wake. “Ifeel
like I’m dying but I’m not…they won’t let me die…just like they
didn’t let me die last time. They’re just torturing me…that’s all
they’re doing…just…they’re just…it’s fucking torture…” she trailed
off. “They keep talking about the accident…keep telling me to
think about it…to remember…and I do…I do remember it.” She
sobbed. “I fucking remember now…and it’s like I’m back there
again…it fucking haunts me and I can’t…fucking…breathe…I can’t
breathe because of it…I can’t…” Camila rolled the sleeves of her
jumper up with difficulty, her right arm enclosed inside a
cumbersome plaster cast. She hung her head in her hands,
shaking it for a moment in despair. “They said I need to tell them
what I’m feeling…” she mumbled against her hands before lifting
her head again, her eyes still moist and her tears still falling freely.
“They said it would help, but they don’t know what it’s like…they
don’t know…they’re so full of shit.” She said her voice rising in
anger again. “They’re such fucking assholes…they don’t
know…they don’t…” Camila started to pick at the cast on her hand
evidently frustrated. “You know though…” Camila said pointedly,
pulling at the material as though she was trying to remove it. “You
understand Lauren…you’re the only one that does…you’re the
only one I trusted enough to tell…” she cried sadly. “I want to talk
to you…I don’t want to talk to them…they don’t understand…they
think they do, but they don’t…they don’t know…they’re fucking
idiots…” Camila ran her left hand through her hair agitated. “I
want to talk to you but you’re not here…you fucking let them take
me…you promised me…you fucking promised me that you’d
always be there for me…that I’d always have you…but I don’t,”
she said angrily. “You fucking promised me but you lied…you’re a
liar Lauren…just like everyone else is…everyone is so full of
fucking shit and I’m sick of it.” She shouted harshly. “Everyone
keeps saying it’ll get better but it doesn’t get better…it keeps
getting worse…and it hurts…it still fucking hurts…every single
day…it’s so fucking painful…” Camila rubbed at the scar above her
left eyebrow, massaging it firmly, her eyes lowered to the floor in
front of her. “I thought that I could trust you,” Camila said more
softly than before, less of an edge to her tone. “I fucking trusted
you…” she sobbed. “Now I’m in here…and I’m alone again…just
me…just me and my thoughts…” Camila closed her eyes for a
moment and rubbed them with the heel of her left hand as she
wept. “I don’t want to be left alone…I shouldn’t be…it’s not good
for me…I need you…I need you here…but you’re not fucking
here…you’re a fucking bitch Lauren…you just watched them take
me…you just gave up and I needed you…” she cried. “I fucking
needed you…and now…now I don’t have you…now there’s only
me…there’s only me and I’m fucking useless…I can’t do
 anything…I don’t want to…I just want to die…I just want to hurt
myself…” She inhaled deeply and let the breath escape again
slowly, drawing it out, trying to compose herself but failing
miserably. “I can’t do this on my own,” Camila admitted
wretchedly. “I can’t…I’m not strong enough…I need you…the only
thing I ever liked about myself was you…was the way that you
made me feel…the way that you believed in me…that was the
only time I ever felt good about myself…when I was with you I
believed that I could do anything…you made me want to
fight…you made me want to live…but now you’re gone and I don’t
have the energy to fight anymore…I just want to curl up into a ball
and die…there’s nothing that I like about myself…there’s nothing
left of me to save…I’m lost Lauren… I’ve gone…Camila…she’s
gone…she’s fucking gone and I fucking hate myself now…I hate
this person…she’s not me…she’s not…” Camila opened her eyes
and grasped the back of her neck with her left hand. “I don’t
want…I don’t want to be here…” her voice said quietly and it was
unclear whether she was referring to rehab or being alive in
general. “I don’t want this…it’s not worth it…nothing is worth
this…nothing…” Camila dropped her hand again to rest in her lap.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 3/12 “I’m sorry,” she wept, rubbing at her
nose with the back of her hand, trying to choke back a sob. “I’m
so sorry…” she trailed off, shaking her head and reaching up to
turn the camera off, the screen going black. “That was kind of
 intense,” Clara said from her position at the door where she’d
been standing unobserved, her shoulder leaning against the frame
as she’d listened to Camila’s video. Lauren glanced over at her
mom, a surprised look on her face at the unexpected intrusion.
She was sat up in bed, her back leaning against the head of it
whilst her laptop rested on her thighs over the duvet. “Yeah,”
Lauren acknowledged, wiping at her face for a moment and
ridding her cheeks of the tears which had fallen across them as
she’d watched Camila’s despair all over again. “I guess.” After
Camila had given her the videos, Lauren had spent a lot of time
working her way through them, viewing each of them, one at a
time. Sometimes she’d cry, sometimes she’d laugh, but not once,
not ever, had she been unaffected by their content. Lauren had
always felt something in response to Camila’s videos but unlike
the rest of the ones that she’d seen, this one, being the first her
girlfriend had made, always seemed to get to her the most.
Lauren didn’t know why she was watching it now, especially
because it crushed her to see Camila so broken, to hear her
girlfriend speak about her with such disdain and anger. Lauren
could have chosen any of Camila’s videos to watch, but, she
hadn’t. She’d chosen this one and a part of her thought she’d
chosen it because it showed clearly just how much and how
positively Camila had changed since she’d originally made it.
Lauren wanted to hold on to that thought, that knowledge, during
their separation, because as much as she tried not to, she couldn’t
help but worry about her girlfriend every second of every day that
they were apart. Clara’s brow furrowed as she studied her
daughter and she cleared her throat, pulling Lauren’s thoughts
back to her and away from her own musings. Clara stood up tall
and stepped in to the room slowly, approaching the bed where
Lauren was resting, the youngster still recovering from the assault
of her classmates eight days previously. “I know you’re still angry
at me,” Clara told her, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside
her daughter. “I know that you’re mad…” “It’s not fair,” Lauren
interrupted her, putting the laptop to one side for a moment.
“This isn’t Camila’s fault and you’re punishing her…you’re
punishing both of us.” “That’s not what this is about,” Clara
disagreed sadly, realising that Lauren still did not understand.
“This isn’t about punishing Camila,” she sighed, staring into the
green of her daughter’s eyes meaningfully. “It’s not about what
happened last week, not really, not in the way that you think. This
is about you Lauren.” Clara informed her. Lauren’s mom climbed
on to the bed and leant back against the head of it, her legs
stretching out in front of her, mirroring her daughter’s position.
She tilted her head back up towards the ceiling momentarily,
sighing heavily. “The girl that I raised, the one who used to tell me
everything no matter how small, would never have lied to me
Lauren,” Clara stated simply, turning to look at her daughter.
“Now I feel like you’re lying to me all the time and it’s not just
about petty insignificant things but important things.” She said.
 “You lied to me and your father about something that is really
serious. We’re talking about a criminal offence…” “I’m sorry,”
Lauren apologised again earnestly. “I already told you that I was
scared. I just…I didn’t know what to do…” “You should have talked
to me,” Clara said sadly. “You should have told me what was going
on. I’m your mom Lauren, my job is to protect you, to help and
support you with situations that you find overwhelming or
difficult to deal with.” “I wanted to tell you,” Lauren said, tears
threatening to spill once more. “I did. I even said as much to
Rachel but she told me she’d hurt Camz and I believed her…”
Lauren wiped at the corner of her eyes, visibly upset and Clara
wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders, pulling her in
close to her side. “I can’t see Camz like that again,” Lauren told
her mom, burying her face against her chest. “She’s come so far
now and if she ends up back at square one I don’t know what
she’d do…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 4/12 “Camila is not the problem here,”
Clara said. “Camila can look after herself Lauren. She’s changed.
She’s not the same girl in this video. That’s not the Camila that
I’ve seen. She’s different now. She’s moved on. It’s you that
seems incapable of doing that.” “What do you mean?” Lauren
asked puzzled by her mom’s words and lifting her gaze up to meet
the older woman’s. “We’ve spoken about this before,” Clara
started, brushing at Lauren’s hair soothingly with the fingertips of
 one hand, “but, you don’t trust Camila to be responsible Lauren.
You don’t believe that she can look after herself; that she can
make rational and appropriate decisions even though she’s
proven that she can. You still don’t believe in her even after
everything that she’s been through, everything that she’s
survived. You’ve taken on this role where you feel like you
constantly have to protect her and it means that every decision
that you make is based around that, even if it’s wrong. All you
seem to do is worry about her and that’s not healthy sweetheart.”
“Ilove her,” Lauren said simply in response to her mom’s words. “I
know that,” Clara responded smiling. “I know that you love her
and she loves you too. Why else do you think she makes the long
walk here with Jasper every single day?” She laughed. “Do you
know how many times I’ve almost let her come inside to see you?
She doesn’t even ask me to come in.” Clara continued amused.
“Camila respects my decision.” She told Lauren. “So instead she
just stands on the doorstep and she asks me how my day has
been and if you’re alright.” She informed her. “That’s all she asks.
She doesn’t push it, she doesn’t question my ruling, she just asks
after you and then she hands me something to give to you…like
the card,” she recalled, “and the flowers.” “Don’t forget the teddy
bear,” Lauren added smiling. “Right,” Clara acknowledged,
stroking her daughters arm and returning to the previous subject
quickly. “You need to let Camila live her own life Lauren and you
have to live yours as well. You can still be together without living
 in each other’s pockets all the time. It’s not feasible for you to be
with her every second of every day and believe me, you wouldn’t
want to. What would you have to talk about? What would you
have to look forward to if you’re always together?” she asked
seriously. “You need to trust that Camila will be alright without
you. She’s a smart girl and if she needs your help she’ll ask you for
it. She’s always been very honest and open with you.” Clara
reminded her. “Her videos are a prime example of that.” She
noted, gesturing towards the laptop on the bed beside them. “I
can’t help it,” Lauren admitted. “I know that she asked me to
believe in her and I’m trying, I am but, it’s so hard. I’m just so used
to looking out for her. It’s all I’ve ever known since the first
moment that I met her. I’ve always been the one to look after her.
I had to…” “You don’t have to anymore,” Clara reiterated,
brushing the hair out of her daughter’s eyes. “What if something
happens though?” Lauren asked. “What if she has another seizure
and ends up back in the hospital?” “Then she does,” Clara replied.
“She has a medical condition Lauren. She has to live with it and so
do you. I don’t see her worrying about it every two seconds; in
fact, I’ve never even heard her mention it before.” Clara bent
down and kissed Lauren’s forehead tenderly. “Things will
happen,” Clara told her daughter. “That’s what life is Lauren. It’s a
series of trials and tribulations. You’ll get through one only to find
that you’re faced with another. People get sick, bad things will
happen, it’s inevitable, but, if you’re always waiting for difficulties
 to come, if you’re always worrying…what kind of life will you
have? You’ll never enjoy the positive things; you’ll never
appreciate them if you’re always preparing yourself for the worst
to happen. It’s not good for you Lauren and it’s not good for your
relationship. Camila will resent you for it sooner or later and you’ll
wake up one morning and realise that you wasted your whole life
worrying,” Clara warned her. She squeezed Lauren’s shoulder
supportively for a moment before continuing. “You know how
Camila feels about you doing things for her Lauren. She wants you
to believe in her and you have to otherwise she’ll start to get
frustrated and angry with you. How would you feel if she was
always stepping in to do things for you or checking up on you?”
Clara asked her. “Not including now…” she added seriously. “It’s
slightly different when you’re actually ill…but, Camila isn’t ill.
She’s not sick. Not anymore. You
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 5/12 have to stop treating her as though
there’s something wrong with her. Last week she proved that she
can be counted on to do the right thing when it matters. Yes,
she’ll make mistakes from time to time but you both will. You’re
still growing up. You’re still learning the way of the world. You’re
human. Both of you are. You’ll fail every once in a while, she’ll fail
but we all do and you need to let her.” “Why?” Lauren asked
genuinely interested. “She’ll never learn if you don’t,” Clara
replied, smiling. “People learn from their mistakes Lauren. You
 learn from yours. At least, I would have hoped that you do.” She
pointed out meaningfully. “Tell me, if you were faced with what
happened last week again …would you lie to me about it now?”
“No,” Lauren answered honestly. “Why not?” Clara prompted.
“Well,” Lauren started thoughtfully, “because you banned me
from seeing Camz.” She said, causing Clara to smile slightly in
amusement. “Plus, the only reason I didn’t initially tell anyone the
truth was because I was worried about how Camz would react
when she found out what happened.” “How did she react?” Clara
asked already knowing the answer but wanting to make a point.
“She was angry about what Rachel did,” Lauren answered, “but
she didn’t go after her like Ithought she would. She actually
surprised me a little bit with her response. I didn’t think she’d end
up being the rational one out of the two of us.” “It’s kind of nice
to be surprised isn’t it?” Clara questioned and Lauren smiled.
“Yeah, I guess it is.” She acknowledged running a hand through
her hair. “I also thought that Rachel would go after Camz.” Lauren
shared after a moment, “I mean, she said she would but she
hasn’t done so far and I don’t think she will now.” “Why not?”
Clara asked her again, letting Lauren work it all out in her head, in
her own way. “Well, because she’d be stupid to try and attack her
knowing that the police are aware of her threat.” Lauren
responded. “She’s already been charged with a criminal
misdemeanour, it’d be ridiculous for her to do anything to Camz.
She’d risk getting an even harsher punishment.” “I think the fact
that she has already been sentenced to probation and community
service will probably make her think twice about doing anything in
the future.” Clara agreed. “If she’s smart she’ll learn from this and
not make the same mistake again.” “I’m glad that Camz didn’t get
in trouble for what she did to Rachel though,” Lauren said
gratefully. “Ithought that Rachel would have bought it up but she
didn’t.” “Camila is very lucky,” Clara mused. “Still,” Lauren started
thoughtfully, “I don’t understand why you stopped me seeing her
though,” Lauren admitted. “Why did you separate us now when
you didn’t before? You could have grounded me properly back
then. You could have stopped us from seeing each other when
you realised that we’d been together but you didn’t, so what
changed?” “Lauren,” Clara said, stroking her brow maternally.
“You were in the hospital with a couple of fractured ribs and a
concussion.” She reminded her. “What do you think changed?”
“That was Rachel though,” Lauren replied. “It wasn’t Camz that
did that to me…” “No, it wasn’t.” Clara agreed, “But Camila was
unknowingly the reason that you lied to us about what had
happened.” “She told me to tell you,” Lauren said. “Camz said that
if I didn’t tell you then she would. She made me…” “Exactly,” Clara
answered seriously. “That is exactly my point Lauren.” She said
looking at her sternly. “That is what I’ve been trying to tell you all
along.” Lauren furrowed her brow still puzzled. “Camila knew that
telling us was the right thing to do and she argued that point with
you despite the fact that it might potentially cause problems in
 your relationship. She could
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 6/12 see the bigger picture when you
couldn’t and she was willing to risk upsetting you in order to do
the right thing.” Clara told her. “You base every decision that you
make now around protecting her even if deep down you know it
isn’t the right thing to do. You even said that your gut instinct was
to tell us, but you didn’t, you chose to lie instead.” “So you’re
punishing me?” Lauren asked. “You’re not punishing Camz?” “I
like Camila,” Clara told her smiling brightly. “She’s nice, she’s well
mannered, she’s funny…” she listed. “I don’t have a problem with
her. I thought that you understood that. My concern is you
Lauren. You’ve lost your way a little bit and I want to help you find
it again…” Clara picked Lauren’s laptop up and balanced it
between them on their laps. “Camila isn’t the problem.” Clara told
her again, “and your love for Camila isn’t the problem,” she said
bluntly. “It’s the fact that you’re so blinded by it that everything
else comes second to it, including the truth.” Clara shifted her
weight slightly in the bed, getting herself more comfortable, one
arm still draped around Lauren’s shoulders. “I know what it’s like
to fall in love Lauren,” Clara said, “I’m not so old that I don’t
remember that feeling where you want to spend all your time
together, where they’re the only thing that you think about.” She
continued. You’re so invested in your relationship with Camila
that you forgot that you need to look out for your own interests
too, not just hers.” “I do,” Lauren disagreed. “I do look out for my
own interests.” “You don’t,” Clara responded. “You think that you
do Lauren but you don’t. You started dropping your grades at
school remember?” she reminded her. “You were a straight A
student and then you became so preoccupied with Camila that
your grades continued to fall until you were almost failing,” she
said. “Then, to top it all off you lied about it to us.” She
reprimanded her daughter. “I don’t know what the future holds
for Camila and you. For all I know you may be together forever,”
she stated, “but, what if you weren’t? What if you broke up and
you hadn’t pulled your grades back up? Where would you be then
Lauren?” she asked seriously. “Ok, fine” Lauren finally
acknowledged. “I get it alright. I do. I’ll try to do better. I’ll try not
to worry so much and I’ll stop lying to you, I promise.” “You’ve
said that before,” Clara said unconvinced. “I really mean it this
time though,” Lauren informed her. “Honestly, I do.” “I need to
see it Lauren,” Clara told her. “I need to see that you mean it. I
need to see you change…” “I will ok, I promise…” Lauren said
pleadingly. “I understand where you’re coming from, I do. You
just…you have to give me another chance to prove myself.” Clara
smiled at her daughters’ words. “So what you’re saying is that you
want me to trust you to be responsible?” Clara asked
meaningfully. “You want me to believe that you can look after
yourself and that you can make the right decisions?” “Yes,”
Lauren answered, seeing the parallels almost immediately, her
 mom’s carefully chosen words striking the intended chord. “I’ve
let you fail Lauren,” Clara remarked significantly. “I’ve given you a
lot of free reign over the last year because you’re getting older
now and I should be able to trust you to do the right thing.” She
said. “The question is have you really learnt something from this
experience or not?” “Yes,” Lauren repeated. “What have you
learnt?” Clara asked her. “That I should be honest and that I need
to trust Camz because she proved my concerns to be misplaced
and I should believe in her more.” Lauren stated. “I want you to
be happy Lauren,” Clara said, hugging her daughter closer to her.
“That’s all I want for all of you kids.” She said kissing her on the
top of the head once more. “One day I’ll send you out into the
world properly, to fend for yourself and create a life of your own,”
she continued, “but not quite yet. Until then, I still have a chance
to teach
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 7/12 you a few lessons and I’m going to,
even if you don’t agree with my methods. That’s my prerogative
as a mom. You just have to trust that I’m doing it for you.” Clara
used the touch pad on Lauren’s laptop to scroll the video that
she’d just been watching back slightly and pressed play again. ““I
can’t do this on my own,” Camila admitted wretchedly. “I
can’t…I’m not strong enough…I need you…the only thing I ever
liked about myself was you…was the way that you made me
feel…the way that you believed in me…that was the only time I
ever felt good about myself…when I was with you I believed that I
could do anything…you made me want to fight…you made me
want to live…but now you’re gone and I don’t have the energy to
fight anymore…I just want to curl up into a ball and die…there’s
nothing that I like about myself…there’s nothing left of me to
save…I’m lost Lauren… I’ve gone…Camila…she’s gone…she’s
fucking gone and I fucking hate myself now…I hate this
person…she’s not me…she’s not…” “Tell me something honestly,”
Clara said, once the video had finished playing again. “Why did
you watch this video again?” “Honestly?” Lauren asked, lifting one
eyebrow enquiringly. “Yes,” Clara replied. “I don’t know,” Lauren
shrugged. “I guess I just wanted to feel close to Camila because I
couldn’t see her.” “That’s the only reason?” Clara probed. Lauren
sighed audibly and sat up in the bed a bit more. “No,” she
conceded. “I wanted to watch it to remind me how far she’d come
since she’d originally made it,” Lauren admitted. “I was worried
about her and about what she might do because we were
separated again. I was trying to remind myself that this isn’t her
anymore. Ijust wanted to reassure myself that she’d be ok
without me…” “Here,” Clara said, reaching in to her jeans pocket
and pulling out a USB stick which she handed to Lauren. “What’s
this?” she asked, taking it as her mom removed her arm from
around Lauren’s shoulder and stood up off the bed.
“Reassurance,” Clara said, smiling at her briefly before heading
out of the room and closing the door behind her. Lauren wasted
 no time in plugging the stick into the drive on her computer and
opening up the only file present on the drive named strangely
enough, ‘Reassurance.’ After a slight delay, the laptop slow and
taking a while to load, Camila’s face appeared on screen once
again, her bedroom décor clearly visible in the background. “Hey,”
she greeted, saluting at the camera, which, Lauren soon realised
was attached to Camila’s laptop, the smaller girl evidently lying
prone on her bed when Dinah jumped on top of her
unannounced. “Jesus Dinah!” Camila complained as Dinah rolled
off her back and on to the bed beside her. “’Sup Lauren,” Dinah
said ignoring her friends protestations and making a quick peace
sign with her hand. “You’re so heavy,” Camila told her, shoving
Dinah hard on the shoulder. “Was it really necessary to jump on
me?” she asked and Dinah pushed her back in return. “You’re just
so squishy,” she said, pushing Camila’s face out of the way
mischievously. “I just couldn’t resist it.” “Did you just indirectly
call me fat?” Camila asked feigning upset. “I called you squishy,”
Dinah repeated, “not fat…besides you just called me heavy…”
“You are heavy,” Camila informed her lightly laughing. “I am not,”
Dinah disagreed. “I’m just really tall that’s all…” “Tall and heavy,”
Camila teased and Dinah rolled on to her back and over her friend
again, eliciting a loud groan as a result of her being squashed.
“Dinah!” Camila
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 8/12 complained again and Lauren couldn’t
 help but laugh at the look of frustration on her girlfriends’ face. “I
shall call him squishy and he shall be mine, and he shall be my
squishy…” Lauren heard Dinah say out of sight and Camila turned
her head to look in the taller girls’ direction, a puzzled expression
on her face. “What are you…” she started to ask, but she was cut
short when Dinah descended on top of her once again,
encompassing her in a massive hug. “Come here squishy…come
here little squishy…” Dinah said babyishly, ticking Camila
annoyingly and making the other girl squirm on the bed. “Jesus!
Dinah!” Camila shouted laughing despite herself. “Stop it!” “Come
here okpjoiwhoguw,” Dinah babied, groaning when Camila
slapped one of her hands away painfully. “Ow.” She moaned. “The
nerve of you…” “Would get the hell off me?” Camila asked good-
humouredly, pushing Dinah as the Polynesian girl rolled off her
again to lie beside her on the bed once more. “Can’t you see I’m
in the middle of something?” “Oh right,” Dinah said turning her
attention back to the camera again. “Your love message to
Lauren…” “It’s not a love message…” Camila disagreed before
looking directly in to the camera, narrowing her eyes and shaking
her head, telling Lauren that it kind of was; the brunette laughing
at her girlfriends’ stupidity as she watched. “Then what the hell is
it?” Dinah asked, flicking Camila’s ear, the smaller girl swotting
her friends’ hand away in annoyance. “It’s just a message,” Camila
told her irritated. “Cool,” Dinah commented as she started to hum
to herself, Camila glaring at the sound. “Why are you even here?”
 Camila asked her pointedly. “Oh, I came to annoy you,” Dinah
answered, a broad grin on her face. “Well good job ass hat,”
Camila responded, quirking her eyebrow in a challenge. “Did you
just call me an ass hat?” Dinah asked amused. “Maybe,” Camila
replied dismissively. “Why? Is that a problem?” she said, a hint of
a challenge in her voice. “Only because that insult went out of
fashion about four hundred years ago,” Dinah informed her.
“You’d know that if you weren’t such a loser.” “Ok,” Camila said,
“can you just like, go and annoy my sister for five minutes whilst I
do this?” she asked. “For some reason she seems to like you…”
“That’s because I’m awesome,” Dinah said standing up from the
bed and pushing Camila on the side as she did so. “She wishes she
had an older sister as amazing as me.” “Wish granted,” Camila
responded, holding out both her arms meaningfully and twisting
her body to look at Dinah who was stood behind her and slightly
to the left. “You’re such a dork,” Dinah grumbled, throwing a
teddy bear at Camila and disappearing out of sight in the direction
of the door. “Dumbass!” Camila called after her and Lauren heard
her girlfriend’s bedroom door close. Camila shook her head,
staring in its direction for a moment before turning back towards
the camera again. “So…” Camila said smiling brightly. “I hope you
got my gifts and things.” She said. “I know that you’re mom has
let me talk to you on the phone every night but I miss seeing you,”
she shared. “I’ve spoken to her a lot when I’ve come around to
drop of your card and presents and she says that you miss seeing
 me too.” Camila continued happily. “So she’s asked me to make
you a video so that you can see me…or something. I don’t really
know what it’s for though.” She mused. “Seems like kind of a
weird punishment to me. She didn’t say what she wants me to put
in it or what she wanted me to talk about. Perhaps I should have
checked first before I made it?” she said thoughtfully before
shaking her head and mind evidently having wandered for a
moment. “Oh well,
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 9/12 anyway…I don’t know what she wants
me to put it in but I figured if I just talked at you for like ten
minutes then that would be enough.” She paused for a moment
to glance around the room. “Oh,” she said, leaping off the bed
and disappearing for a moment, springing back to it a few minutes
later. “I bought this today,” she said, displaying a new guitar.
“Well, I say I bought it, but actually my parents did…I might have
broken my other one,” she confessed. “Me and Dinah were
jamming out to some music in my bedroom a couple of days ago
and I might have been jumping up and down on the bed with her,
pretending to play my guitar whilst being a rock star when I
accidentally like, strummed it too hard and it kind of went flying
across the room and smashed in to my desk.” Camila made a face
as she put the guitar back on to the bed beside her. “I forgot to
tell you when I called the other night because we got talking
about something else,” she informed her. “Plus, I was kind of
 embarrassed. I mean, what kind of person can’t even be a badass
at their own imaginary fake rock concert?” she asked. “I’m never
going to live it down with Dinah even though she almost broken
her neck falling off the bed because she was laughing so hard.”
Camila frowned obviously thinking and Lauren smiled happily.
“Just in case you were wondering,” Camila said, “the song that
ruined it all for us was ‘Fall Out Boy This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An
Arms Race’ and let me tell you Lauren, it was definitely a scene in
my room afterwards!” Camila shifted her weight on the bed a
little a chuckled to herself. “I’m pretty sure that CD is yours by the
way,” Camila said. “Did you leave it here? If so I’m blaming you for
the carnage that happened.” Camila glanced at her watch and
groaned audibly. “So me and Dinah are taking Sofi and Jasper to
the park,” Camila told her. “When I say me and Dinah are taking
Sofi and Jasper to the park what I really mean is, that I am taking
Jasper for a walk with the kids.” She laughed. “They’re a
nightmare I swear. You’ll see what I mean when you can come
with us again.” Camila propped herself up on her elbows and blew
Lauren a kiss. “I have to go now because I promised my mom we’d
be back by dinner,” she told Lauren, looking a little disappointed.
“I miss you,” Camila said sincerely. “I hope that you’re feeling
better. I love you. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.” She said, reaching
forward, her hand lingering over the computer keyboard for a
moment. “Bye babe.” She finished before the screen went black
again. Lauren smiled to herself, knowing exactly what point her
 mom had been trying to make by getting Camila to record the
video. She’d wanted to show Lauren that Camila was fine, that
she was still thinking about her even though they were apart, that
she was healthy, happy, well. She’d wanted to show Lauren that
she didn’t need to worry, that Camila could be independent but
still need her, still want her, and still miss her. Lauren heard a
faint knocking at her bedroom door and she knew it was her mom
waiting to come back in, to really drive the lesson home, to show
her that if Camila could go on living her life independently, but
still very much in love with Lauren, then so could she. “Ok fine,”
Lauren laughed. “I totally get it ok? I shouldn’t lie because the
only thing that lying got me is grounded and banned from seeing
my girlfriend.” She chuckled. When no one came inside Lauren
frowned. “Are you coming in?” she asked. “Mom?” Lauren sighed
when she heard a faint knocking on the door again, thinking her
mom hadn’t heard her. “Come in,” she called louder and this time
the door opened. “Camz?” Lauren asked when her girlfriend
appeared in the entrance to her room. “What are you doing
here?” “I bought you some chocolates,” Camila said, stepping
inside and walking over to the bed. She handed the box to a
dumbfounded Lauren and kissed her lightly on the mouth in
greeting.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trialsand-
tribulationschapter56 10/12 “You look surprised.” Camila noted
when they’d parted. “I am surprised,” Lauren admitted. “Does my
 mom know that you’re here?” “Yeah of course,” Camila said,
climbing on to the bed beside Lauren and picking up her hand in
her own. “Who do you think let me in?” “Is this some kind of
joke?” Lauren asked her girlfriend. “A joke?” Camila asked. “Yes,”
Lauren answered. “What do you mean?” Camila asked making a
face. “I mean did you plan this with my mom?” “Plan what?”
Camila asked, evidently not privy to whatever Lauren assumed
had happened. “You’re timing is impeccable Camz,” Lauren
laughed, leaning over and kissing Camila on the lips happily. “For
what?” Camila responded as she scrunched up her nose, still
unsure what exactly was happening. “I’ve been coming around
here the same time every day to drop off some things for you.”
Camila shared with her. “Really? The same time every day huh?”
Lauren asked in understanding as she noticed some movement by
the door and glanced up to see her mom standing there watching
them both. Camila hopped up off the bed hurriedly on seeing
Clara, looking embarrassed. “Sorry,” she apologised, her face
glowing red. “It’s alright,” Clara said, glancing at Lauren, a broad
grin on her face. “Just so you both know,” Clara said, “I now have
some new rules.” “You do?” Lauren asked her. “Yes,” Clara
replied. “Firstly, Camila and you are allowed up here together
alone, just, keep the door open alright?” “Ok,” Lauren responded
surprised. “Secondly, the ban is lifted so Camila can now come
and go as she pleases again.” “Like, whenever I want?” Camila
asked and Clara tilted her head amused. “Within reason,” she
 said. “Thirdly, you’re no longer grounded.” “I’m not?” Lauren
asked smiling. “No,” Clara clarified. “Itrust you,” she said
meaningfully. “Wait, you trust me or her?” Camila asked pointing
between her and Lauren. “Both of you,” Clara answered shaking
her head slightly and disappearing out of sight again. Lauren
laughed as she heard her mom’s distant voice call, “No funny
business alright?” as she made her way downstairs. “What just
happened?” Camila asked climbing back on to the bed beside
Lauren. “I’m not a hundred percent sure,” Lauren admitted, as
Camila took her hand in her own again. Lauren lifted her gaze to
her girlfriends’ and smiled brightly. “Hi,” she greeted properly.
“Hey,” Camila responded, leaning forward and kissing Lauren
again, deepening it after a few short moments. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” Lauren reciprocated, reaching one hand up
to caress Camila’s cheek. “Are you feeling better?” Camila asked
her. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69224947063/trials-
andtribulationschapter56 11/12 “Much.” Lauren said and she
leant forward and kissed Camila again, pushing her back against
the head of the bed, the smaller girls’ arms wrapping around her
neck as she did so.
Chapter 57
A/N: Sorry this has taken an eternity to get to you…I’ve been so ill
this week and having a load of tests done so I wasn’t able to finish
the chapter because I’ve mostly been sleeping. Anyway, here it is.
I hope you enjoy it x “I’ve missed kissing you,” Camila mumbled
 against Lauren’s mouth, smiling as her girlfriend kissed her again,
pressing their lips together firmly as she leant against the smaller
girls’ body, Camila’s arms still wrapped around her neck.
“Mmhmm,” Lauren acknowledged as Camila’s hands made their
way down from where they sat to rest at the base of Lauren’s
spine over her ‘The Script’ tshirt. “You’re a really good kisser,”
Camila praised, separating their lips for a moment and causing
Lauren’s eyebrow to quirk up in amusement, sensing that her
girlfriend was going to start rambling any second now. “Camz,”
Lauren said knowingly, kissing Camila briefly once more and trying
to cut her off before she could start spewing the inevitable word
vomit that was about to follow, a small smile playing on her lips. “I
can’t believe that it’s been eight days since I last saw you,” Camila
started regardless of Lauren’s muttered warning. “It feels like a lot
longer,” she confessed, one of her hands, stroking the small of
Lauren’s back soothingly. “I’d forgotten just how green your eyes
can be,” Camila stated, staring in to her girlfriends’ eyes and biting
her bottom lip. “They’re so pretty…” “So you’ve told me,” Lauren
laughed lightly, interrupting Camila’s thought process and
stopping it short. “When?” Camila asked, tilting her head back a
little to take in all of Lauren’s face. She looked confused and
Lauren made a mental note to save the adorable image in her
memory for future reference. “You tell me all the time,” Lauren
informed her honestly, one hand reaching up to brush Camila’s
loose hair behind her shoulder. “I do not,” Camila complained,
 scrunching her face up slightly. “Yes you do,” Lauren returned,
sitting herself up tall against the head of the bed once more,
Camila’s hands sliding round to rest on her hips as she did. “I do?”
Camila asked, her eyes never leaving Lauren’s face. “Yes,” Lauren
reiterated. “In fact, one of my favourite memories of us involves
you telling me that I have really pretty eyes.” “What memory?”
Camila asked interestedly, sitting up taller too, her eyes shining
inquisitively. “Well,” Lauren said, picking up one of Camila’s hands
and wrapping it in her own. “It was the first time that you’d had a
seizure…” “You mean the time that you tried it on with me and I
was barely lucid?” Camila asked jokingly and Lauren beamed
brightly as she shoved Camila’s shoulder gently.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 2/16 “If I recall correctly,” Lauren started,
“which I do, you know, being the only one out of the two of us
that can actually remember what happened…you tried it on with
me.” “You’re such a liar,” Camila teased. “There is no way that I
tried it on with you. I can’t even flirt with myself in the mirror.
There’s no chance that I made the first move…” “You did,” Lauren
argued laughing. “I’ve already told you what happened…” “I think
you took advantage of me,” Camila interjected playfully,
seductively raising an eyebrow. “Ithink you saw an opportunity
and went for it.” “I think you’re delusional,” Lauren joked and
Camila shuffled herself closer to the brunette beside her,
narrowing her eyes. Camila stared at Lauren for a moment, her
 eyes boring in to her girlfriends’ as though trying to read any
falsity to her claims. “Why would I come on to you?” Camila asked
Lauren, her tone quiet and serious. “You tell me,” Lauren said,
leaning forward and closing the distance between them, her face
hovering inches from Camila’s. “You did it.” “I think the electrical
impulses in my brain were misfiring after the seizure,” Camila
answered, her lips curving up in to a smile and making Lauren’s
stomach flutter excitedly. “Ithink it was a mistake…” “Now who’s
lying,” Lauren questioned and Camila moved her face even closer
to her girlfriend’s. “I don’t lie,” Camila said, tilting her head a
fraction to the side. “Then tell me the truth.” Lauren challenged.
“Why do you think that you kissed me?” “I was confused,” Camila
answered, still entertained by their game and choosing to
continue with it. “Ithought that you were my mom.” “You know
there is something seriously wrong with you if that’s how you kiss
your mom,” Lauren told her making a face. “I’m sure that it was
just a peck…” Camila stated uncertainly, narrowing her eyes again
and studying Lauren for her reaction to the comment. “I
remember it being a bit more than that.” She disagreed. “In what
way was it more than just a peck?” Camila questioned, inching her
face closer to Lauren’s a little more. “What was it like?” she asked.
“Tell me.” Lauren smiled and closed the remaining gap between
their mouths, planting a soft, intimate kiss against Camila’s lips
and lingering there a beat and a half too long. Those extra couple
of seconds were enough to make Camila try to move forward and
maintain contact with her girlfriend’s mouth as Lauren leant back
away from her. “It was like that,” Lauren said, moving her face
back even further as Camila tried to reconnect their lips again. “I
told you,” she laughed, watching the disappointed look on her
girlfriends’ face. “It wasn’t just a peck.” Camila swallowed hard,
her eyes lowering from Lauren’s to settle on her girlfriends’ lips
hungrily. “I can’t believe I don’t remember that,” Camila
complained, her voice now serious and laced with regret. “You
remember our next kiss though,” Lauren comforted her, stroking
Camila’s brow sympathetically. “Yeah,” Camila agreed, “but your
memory of our first kiss seems much better than mine,” she
informed her thoughtfully, recalling how she had forcefully kissed
Lauren in the street outside her house after the taller girl had
declared her feelings for her. Lauren leant forward and kissed
Camila softly on the forehead, her free hand resting at the base of
her skull. “There are pros and cons to both,” Lauren mumbled
against Camila’s skin comfortingly, her lips remaining in place as
she spoke. “What are the cons of your memory?” Camila asked,
genuinely interested, her chin lifting up so that her eyes met
Lauren’s once more, her girlfriend having finally removed
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 3/16 her mouth from its resting place of a
few moments ago. “That you don’t remember doing it,” Lauren
answered, a sad smile appearing on her lips. “It kind of cancels it
out because you didn’t know what you were doing…not like the
 next kiss we had. You knew what you were doing then…” “I knew
what I was doing the first time,” Camila admitted and Lauren
looked at her stunned. “What?” Lauren asked surprised, sitting
back against the head of the bed again and slumping there in
disbelief. “You mean…you were pretending to be confused?”
“No,” Camila laughed lightly. “I was confused. I wasn’t pretending.
I’d just had a seizure remember? It always takes me a little while
to come around from them properly.” “So then how did you know
what you were doing?” Lauren asked her. “Well,” Camila
answered, staring blankly into the space behind Lauren’s shoulder
as she considered the question, “because it was only you that I
kissed.” Camila met Lauren’s eyes again and smiled. “So as
confused as I was, I must have known what I was doing on some
level,” she said logically. “Otherwise I would have gone around
and kissed everyone that I came in to contact with, wouldn’t I?” “I
guess,” Lauren laughed, her heart pumping in her chest audibly, a
strange tingling sensation passing through her at Camila’s words.
“Somewhere in here I knew what I was doing,” Camila reassured
Lauren, tapping herself lightly on the head with the index finger of
her right hand. “I wanted to kiss you.” She stated confidently. “So
I did, didn’t I?” “Yes, you did,” Lauren confirmed smiling broadly.
“You definitely did.” “It was probably because of your eyes,”
Camila told her, returning to their initial topic of conversation.
“That’s more than likely why I kissed you. They’ve always
fascinated me…” “Why?” Lauren asked, her fingers playing with
 her girlfriend’s mindlessly as she listened. “It’s because they’re
not always the same colour.” Camila answered, gazing in to the
orbs in question tenderly. “They change.” “They change?” Lauren
laughed. “I don’t think that they do Camz.” “No they do,” Camila
said seriously. “Sometimes I think they change depending on your
mood.” “Ok,” Lauren chuckled. “My eyes definitely do not change
because of my mood. I’m pretty sure that’s not something which
happens…” “Fine,” Camila responded, her free hand playing with
the bottom of Lauren’s tshirt unconsciously, her gaze dropping to
watch the movement. “Maybe it’s not mood related but your eyes
do change colour.” She persisted. “Sometimes they’re this
piercing green, strong and vibrant.” She told her girlfriend,
glancing up at her face again. “Other times they appear more of a
light blue, serene and relaxed.” Camila reached the hand which
had been toying with Lauren’s clothing up to rest on the
brunette’s face just beside her left eye. “Your eyes have a whole
spectrum of colour in them.” Camila said, stroking Lauren’s face.
“Sometimes they look green, sometimes blue, sometimes
yellow…like, a warm gold almost…” she continued. “They’re
always colourful though,” Camila mused. “They’re always bright,
always alert, and always thoughtful, always. They make me feel
safe, they make me feel valued, they make me feel loved and they
make me feel like I’m the only person that you ever see. That’s
why I think I kissed you Lauren.” Camila admitted. “Do you want
to know something Camz?” Lauren asked, smiling at Camila’s
 attempt to assure her that their first kiss was the one that she
remembered at the hospital and not the emotional minefield that
soon followed it. “Sure,” Camila answered, rubbing Lauren’s
upper arm with her hand.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 4/16 “The first thing I ever remember
seeing of you was your eyes.” Lauren confessed. “I know that you
think the first thing people notice about you is your scars but
that’s not true, not for me. That morning in the school hallway,
you turned around to look at me and I swear they took my breath
away. I couldn’t even finish my sentence I was so taken by them.”
“I don’t remember that.” Camila shared, trying to recall the
scenario in her head, her tongue poking out between her teeth. “I
do,” Lauren said. “I remember it like it was only yesterday and I’ve
thought back on that day a lot because it changed my whole
entire life and I never quite knew why.” She admitted. “I didn’t
know what it was that I saw in them that drew me to you so much
Camz.” Lauren caressed the scar above Camila’s left eyebrow, but
her eyes were firmly fixed on her girlfriend’s dark chocolate eyes.
“I know now though,” Lauren disclosed honestly. “Ifinally figured
it out.” “You have?” Camila asked her. “Yeah,” Lauren answered
half her mouth lifting up in to a smile. “I have.” “What was it?”
Camila asked keenly. “What did you see?” “I saw you,” Lauren
told her simply. “I really saw you and you were broken weren’t
you? Your eyes, they were defeated. They looked sad, so painfully
 sad and uninterested Camz. They were dull but, there was
something there, something deep in them like a silent cry for
help, a faint flicker of life, a spark of enthusiasm, of the girl that
you used to be…” “You know that I was Lauren,” Camila
responded after the brunette had trailed off. “You’ve read my
diary. You know what I’d been thinking about.” “Do you know
what I see when I look in your eyes now?” Lauren asked, smiling
brightly and returning the conversation to something more
positive, her fingers still stroking Camila’s reflexively. “I see hope,”
Lauren told her. “I see happiness, I see enjoyment, I see energy.”
She reeled off. “I see that spark, that faint flicker in its complete
entirety. It’s like your eyes were dead wood before, a small flame
just playing at the surface, baring having an effect.” She
commented. “They’re not like that now.” She acknowledged,
stroking Camila’s brow again, “they’re ablaze now Camz and it
makes them even more beautiful, not tragically beautiful like
before, but brilliantly stunning.” “You know, I think it was William
Shakespeare who said, ‘Eyes are the window to your soul,’”
Camila smiled. “In that case you have the most beautiful soul I’ve
ever seen,” Lauren told her affectionately, “and I’ve seen a lot of
it, through your eyes, through your writing, through your words.”
Lauren leant forward and kissed Camila on the lips meaningfully.
“I love you,” Camila declared when their mouths had parted way
once more, her hand rubbing Lauren’s upper arm before finding
its way to her side and then up on to her shoulder. “I’ve been so
 worried about you this last week. Are you feeling alright?” she
asked evidently concerned. “You’re not in too much pain or
anything?” “Not anymore,” Lauren replied significantly but Camila
missed the thinly veiled meaning of her words. It was Camila’s
sudden presence that made Lauren feel better. Up until her arrival
Lauren’s ribs had been aching painfully and protesting at every
available opportunity, whether she was moving around in the bed
or merely inhaling a breath, her body didn’t discriminate between
the two levels of exertion, instead griping at them both with equal
fervour. It wasn’t that Lauren’s pain had stopped, in fact, now that
she was suddenly thinking about it again she could feel the
familiar tug on the side of her chest as she breathed in and the
catch of pain as she shifted her weight on the mattress. The truth
was that Camila’s presence was a welcome distraction from her
pain and she made Lauren feel better just by being her usual
talkative self. Lauren loved Camila for her ability to enthral her
almost completely, for the way that every word which came out
of her mouth seemed interesting and important, even when it
probably wasn’t to anyone other than her. Lauren thought that
she had a healthy respect for Camila’s words, not because she
loved her, but because she knew how much Camila valued each
and every one of them, how much she loathed to not be able to
utter a single one. Camila had once
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 5/16 told Lauren that she felt better when
 she was around and the taller girl understood that now, the roles
seemingly reversed. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Camila
asked her and Lauren shook her head. “You are helping.” She
smiled. “You’re helping just by being here. I already feel better.”
“You do?” Lauren nodded and Camila retracted her hand from her
girlfriend’s, reaching her arm up and manoeuvring it behind the
other girl’s shoulders, pulling Lauren carefully against her side and
into a hug. Lauren smiled to herself as Camila settled back against
the head of the bed and she turned her body slightly, ignoring the
complaints from her muscles and fractured bones in order to bury
her face in to Camila’s chest. Lauren closed her eyes for a
moment, her ear settling in to place just above Camila’s left
breast, over where her heart was audibly beating in her chest. She
moved one hand up to rest on Camila’s abdomen and felt it move
slightly as the smaller girl breathed in and out. “This is the best
I’ve felt all week,” Lauren finally answered, her eyes remaining
closed as Camila bent forward and kissed her lightly on the top of
the head. Camila wrapped her other arm across Lauren’s upper
chest and held her warmly in her arms. “In that case let’s stay
here like this until I have to go home,” Camila said seriously,
dropping her chin to sit on top of Lauren’s head as she brushed
the dark hair at her temples lightly with her fingertips. They
remained in silence for a moment, Lauren in Camila’s arms as the
smaller girl kissed her forehead tenderly every so often, her
fingertips stroking Lauren’s brow compassionately. “Hey Camz,”
 Lauren said after a while, her thoughts recalling a previous
conversation that they’d had over Skype the night before Camila
had returned home from rehabilitation. “Yeah,” Camila answered,
her hand falling to rest on Lauren’s shoulder. “Can I ask you a
something?” Lauren inquired. “Sure,” Camila replied, her
fingertips now grazing Lauren’s upper arm aimlessly. “Do you still
think that this isn’t real?” Lauren asked her. “You mean all this?”
Camila asked for clarification. “Yeah,” Lauren confirmed. “I
remember you said that sometimes you worry that one day you’ll
wake up and none of this would have happened. You said you
thought you’d wake up in your hospital bed and it would all have
been a dream…” “I remember,” Camila assured her kindly. Lauren
twisted slightly to look up at Camila, her eyes falling on her
girlfriend’s pensive features. “You still do?” Lauren asked Camila,
reading her expression. “Sometimes,” Camila admitted. “I can’t
help it. It just creeps up on me from time to time.” “When was the
first time you felt it?” Lauren probed, settling her head back in its
original position. “Honestly?” Camila asked and Lauren nodded
against her chest. “I think I’ve always felt like it.” Camila admitted.
“It’s been there ever since I woke up in the hospital.” She
continued, the hand resting across Lauren’s chest finding her
girlfriends’ hand and holding on to it as though she needed the
reassurance she was real. Lauren squeezed it gladly as Camila
continued. “I don’t know why I feel like that, I just do.” She
shared. “It’s just that something isn’t quite right. I can’t put my
 finger on what it is but I know that it’s there…that little anomaly
that makes me doubt everything. It’s a little annoying if I’m
honest. It’s like the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 6/16 feeling that you get when you’re
trying to remember the name of someone you’ve just seen but
have met before…you know it,” she mused, “somewhere in the
back of your mind you’ve stored it away, that knowledge, that
memory, but, you can’t recall it.“ “Do you think it’ll ever go
away?” Lauren asked her. “I hope so,” she answered, the hand
behind Lauren’s shoulders still caressing her upper arm
automatically. “Perhaps with time it’ll diminish but I guess only
time will tell.” Camila stopped and Lauren, not knowing what else
to say remained silent, enjoying the contentment that she felt in
her girlfriends’ embrace. “Are you worried about going back to
school?” Camila asked Lauren attentively after a moment. “You
know, what with Rachel and everything?” “I hadn’t really thought
about it,” Lauren answered truthfully. “I mean, it’s Spring break so
I was sort of putting it off until next week.” “Some Spring break
you’re having,” Camila said wistfully, her hand slipping down to
Lauren’s side where it came to a rest. “There’ll be others,” Lauren
responded dismissively, unconcerned about the fact she’d spent
the majority of her holiday stuck in bed. “Besides, Rachel’s been
suspended so I won’t see her around for a while.” “She was only
given a couple of weeks though,” Camila reminded her girlfriend.
“She’ll be back soon.” “Are you worried about me?” Lauren asked
finally understanding Camila’s tone and lifting her chin to look at
her girlfriend. “Of course I am,” Camila confessed. “She’s already
put you in the hospital. I just, I don’t like the idea that she could
hurt you again. What if you’re not so lucky the next time?”
“Camz,” Lauren said. “I’ll be fine. She’s not going to try anything
so soon after all this. She’s already been suspended and charged
with a misdemeanour. She’ll risk an even worse punishment if she
does anything now.” “I know,” Camila acknowledged. “I still worry
though. Perhaps I should come back to school after all?” “What?”
Lauren asked, sitting up a little in surprise and wincing at the pain
that shot through her side at the sudden movement. “Why?” “I
don’t know,” Camila replied. “I think I’d just feel better if I was
there with you and I could make sure that she doesn’t trouble
you.” “You don’t have to protect me Camz,” Lauren informed her
gently. “I can look after myself. I promise. She won’t lay another
finger on me.” “You don’t know that,” Camila replied, her face
thoughtful. “She might just be a lot cleverer about it the next
time…” “Camz if anything happens to me everyone is going to
suspect that it’s Rachel behind it,” she laughed. “She can be as
sneaky or as careful as she likes, she’ll still be the number one
suspect. She knows that.” “I know,” Camila relented, “but…” “But
what?” Lauren queried, propping herself up on her arms for a
moment. “I just…” Camila started, but she stopped herself short
again. “You know what? Never mind.” Lauren smiled to herself at
 the irony of the situation. She didn’t want to say anything to
Camila because she knew her concern was genuine and that she
meant well but, finally, Lauren understood what her constant
worrying must seem like to her girlfriend and although it was
sweet, she had to admit, it was also a little bit irritating. Lauren
had an extremely hard time comprehending how Camila hadn’t
felt the urge to slap her for the way that she sometimes treated
her in certain situations. “You’re not coming back to school,”
Lauren said simply, resting her head back against Camila’s chest
and burying her face there, a sense of finality to the comment.
“Why not?” Camila asked. “You wanted me to come back
initially.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 7/16 “I know but I was being selfish,”
Lauren admitted. “You’re much better off out of school Camz.
Look how much better you’re doing now. Don’t jeopardise that
because of Rachel,” she advised, pausing momentarily. “Or me.”
She finished, considering her mom’s words from earlier about
how they need to let each other live their own lives more. “I know
you’re worried, but you don’t need to be, just like I don’t need to
worry about you.” She said meaningfully. “We’re both more than
capable of looking out for ourselves and if anything happens we
just need to know that we’ll be here to support one another
through it.” “Well I’m here,” Camila stated confidently, kissing the
top of Lauren’s head gently. “Always. Ok?” “I know,” Lauren
 acknowledged smiling as she lifted Camila’s hand to her mouth
and kissed the back of it lovingly. “Me too.” She paused for a
moment to listen to the sound of Camila’s heart beating against
her ribcage. “Ilove you.” “I need to tell you something,” Camila
said and Lauren turned her face in her girlfriends’ direction again.
“That sounds serious,” Lauren said with a slight edge to her voice
in response to the tone of Camila’s voice. “It’s not serious,”
Camila reassured her. “It’s just that I didn’t want to tell you when
it happened because I knew you’d worry, especially because you
couldn’t see me…” “What is it?” Lauren asked sitting up a little to
look at Camila. “I had a seizure on Saturday,” Camila disclosed.
“I’m fine,” she assured her. “It didn’t last long but Ijust wanted
you to know.” “What happened?” Lauren asked, sitting up further
to give Camila her full attention. “The same thing that always
happens,” Camila sighed. “I had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu
and then before I even had time to react I was waking up on the
floor of my bedroom.” “Did you hurt yourself?” Lauren
questioned, leaning over and kissing Camila on the cheek, tucking
her head in to the crook of her girlfriend’s neck. “No, Ijust ached
mostly,” she admitted, resting her head on top of Lauren’s. “I wish
that you’d told me. I understand why you didn’t but, still…” she
said sadly, turning her face into Camila’s flesh. “My mom is going
to get me a medical alert bracelet,” Camila shared with Lauren
quickly bypassing the previous comment. “She put it off before
because I never really went anywhere on my own but now I’m
 more independent she thinks I should have one.” “I agree with
her,” Lauren told her. “I mean, it makes sense right?” “Yeah,”
Camila agreed. “It definitely makes sense.” “Did you lose your
speech?” Lauren asked and Camila nodded her head against her
girlfriend’s. “For a little bit,” Camila laughed as she thought back.
“Ok, maybe more like an hour.” “I know that you thought I’d
worry,” Lauren said her hand tracing small circles on Camila’s
abdomen, “but I want you to know that from now on things are
really going to change alright Camz?” “How do you mean?” Camila
questioned puzzled. “I mean that from now on I’m going to be
more open with you and I’m going to trust you more,” Lauren
clarified, her hand still playing with Camila’s abdomen. “We have
to be able to live our lives separately without worrying about one
another. I have to be able to do that.” She confessed. “You’re
actually pretty good at balancing out our relationship with the
rest of your life already.” She acknowledged. “Camz your epilepsy
is a part of your life now and I need to get used to the fact that
you’ll have seizures and that they won’t always result with you
being admitted to the ICU.” “Are you ok?” Camila asked, sitting up
so that Lauren’s head slipped back to its original position against
her chest. “Yes,” Lauren told her, glancing up and in to Camila’s
dark eyes. “Why do you ask?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 8/16 “I don’t know,” Camila responded. “I
guess I just thought that maybe you’d be more upset with me for
 holding information back from you. I didn’t think you’d be so…
reasonable.” “I know that you were trying to protect me and I
appreciate that Camz,” Lauren acknowledged. “You still told me
though,” she reminded her. “You were still honest about what
happened and I can see that you’re fine now. That shows me that
I should trust you to know when and how to share things with
me.” “Not to know if I will share things with you?” Camila asked
lightly, amused at Lauren’s belief that she’ll always tell her
eventually. “No,” Lauren smiled, “because I know you will. You
always do.” “Can you share something with me?” Camila
questioned hesitantly. “Seeing as we’re being honest right now, I
think I should talk to you about something that has been
bothering me since last week.” “Ok,” Lauren agreed. “At your
softball game last week Rachel said something to me….” Camila
started uncertainly, her hand moving up to once again stroke
Lauren’s shoulder. “She sort of insinuated that the two of you had
slept together at a party last June and I know that you said that I
was your first, but, I’ve just been thinking about it a lot and I need
to hear you confirm that it’s still true.” Lauren twisted in Camila’s
arms and propped herself on to her elbows before planting a soft
kiss against her lips. “You’re my first,” Lauren confirmed simply.
“I’d not been with anyone that way before you.” “She mentioned
your mole,” Camila divulged. “The one on your left breast and I
just, I don’t know…I guess it made me wonder…” “Camz babe,”
Lauren said, sitting herself up and resting back against the head of
 the bed, facing her girlfriend. “Me and Rachel, we’ve not slept
together, but, we almost did.” “What stopped you?” Camila asked
and Lauren sighed regretfully. “I’d like to say that it was me but it
wasn’t,” she told her. “We were upstairs at Samantha’s house,
locked away in one of the bedrooms together…it was, you
know…” she said, dropping her gaze to her hands which were sat
in her lap, fidgeting nervously. “I’d been drinking…” “She stopped
you?” Camila asked Lauren. “No,” Lauren said, “someone started
knocking on the door and wouldn’t let up.” She shared. “Rachel
got scared. She wasn’t out yet and she thought that whoever was
outside would somehow manage to get in and then they’d find
out about her, about the fact that she likes girls.” “How far did
you two get?” Camila asked. She wasn’t mad, she wasn’t
judgemental. She was just interested. “Not very,” Lauren
answered. “I was wearing my jeans and my bra but you can still
see my mole…” “Do you think that you would have slept with her
if you’d not been interrupted?” Camila questioned. “Probably,”
Lauren allowed. “I wanted to and up until that moment she’d
wanted to as well.” Lauren leant forward and kissed Camila again,
her lips lingering against her girlfriends’ until she felt Camila’s
tongue trace her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to grant it
access to her own gladly. Lauren felt one of Camila’s hands rub
her upper arm, the other one grazing the skin just above her left
hip, beneath her shirt. “I’m glad that it wasn’t Rachel,” Lauren
sighed gratefully when Camila relinquished her mouth back to
 her. “I’m so happy that it was you and not her.” Camila smiled at
Lauren’s words and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s
shoulders, pulling her into her side again until Lauren snuggled
against her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 9/16 “I didn’t believe her,” Camila told
Lauren, stroking her hair. “I trusted that you’d told me the truth
but I just wanted to know what had happened. I guess I was a
little bit jealous.” “You don’t have to be jealous of Rachel.” Lauren
responded easily. “Rachel doesn’t even have one percent of the
appeal for me that you do.” Camila smiled to herself in
amusement at Lauren’s compliment. “Smooth.” Camila teased
and Lauren smiled too, happy that they were reunited again, that
they could talk like they used to before, openly and intimately.
“Hey Camz,” Lauren started, not sure whether she should voice
the question she’d been pondering in her head for months.
“Yeah,” Camila said distractedly. “Are you a lesbian?” Lauren
inquired. “I mean, I know that we’re together but, does that mean
that you like all girls or is it just me?” “I uh,” Camila responded
surprised by the question and unprepared to answer, herself not
knowing one way or the other. “I don’t know.” “You don’t?”
Lauren probed, glancing up at Camila who was looking at the wall
opposite thoughtfully. “No,” Camila admitted. “Is it something
that I should know?” she asked. “No,” Lauren told her. “I didn’t
know for ages. I was just…I wondered that’s all. We’ve never
 discussed it before.” “Well, how did you know that you were
gay?” Camila asked shifting her position slightly to meet Lauren’s
eyes, evidently interested in the conversation. “It just kind of
crept up on me,” Lauren admitted. “I didn’t even know it was
happening really, I just knew that I wasn’t attracted to all the guys
at school that Normani and Ally were. I remembered that I really
admired female stars and artists. At least, I thought it was only
admiration at first, but then I realised that it was more than that
and that I would think about them all the time.” She paused
momentarily. “I would wonder you know? I wondered what it
would be like to kiss them.” “You’ve kissed boys though?” “Yes,”
Lauren confirmed. “When I got to high school it’s what all the
other girls were doing. Everyone was starting to date so when a
boy asked me out I agreed. I just never felt anything with them. I
never felt anything except disappointment when I used to kiss
them. Ally and Normani would talk about kissing like it was the
best thing in the world. They said that it gave them butterflies and
made them feel all nervous and excited. Ijust didn’t feel like that
with any of the boys I kissed. It was kind of a chore if I’m honest. I
never enjoyed it like Ithought I should.” Lauren sighed audibly
before continuing. “Then I kissed Jessica Reynolds and I knew that
I was a lesbian.” Lauren shared. “It was like this moment of
complete clarity for me. I felt everything that Ally and Normani
had described. Those butterflies, the nerves…everything I’d been
feeling, that I’d been questioning for the last few years just
 seemed to suddenly make sense. I was gay. I liked girls. It was as
simple as that.” “Did you kiss her or did she kiss you?” Camila
asked hesitantly, not sure if she really wanted to know the
answer. “She kissed me,” Lauren told her. “She was older than I
was.” “Where were you?” Camila wondered aloud. “You know,
when it happened?” “We were in the girls changing rooms,”
Lauren replied, smiling at the memory. “I know that sounds kind
of cliché but looking back I suppose that it was, there’s nothing
that I can do about that. We were changing after softball practice
and everyone else had gone. I was sitting on the bench facing her
and tying my shoelaces. She had her back to me and was just
changing her tshirt whilst I was kind of staring,” Lauren laughed. “I
told you that you’re a pervert,” Camila teased lightly, “you always
say that it’s me but you’re even worse than I am.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 10/16 “Anyway,” Lauren continued ignoring
Camila’s words. “She turned around and she saw me,” she went
on, her hand playing with Camila’s shirt mindlessly. “I felt myself
blush but she didn’t get angry, she just smiled at me, like she’d
always suspected I might be gay.” “So she kissed you?” Camila
prompted when Lauren didn’t go on. “She finished getting
changed,” Lauren explained. “Then she picked up her bag and she
walked over to me without saying anything, not one word… “Then
what happened?” Camila pressed. “Then she just bent down and
kissed me.” “You’re lying,” Camila protested. “That sounds like
 something out of a movie.” “It’s not a lie,” Lauren complained.
“It’s the truth, honestly. She kissed me and then she stood up and
said, ‘I hope that helps.’” “What then she just left?” “She did,”
Lauren chuckled. “I spoke to her about it a few days later and she
said that it’s always hard admitting to yourself that you like girls.
Everyone is always telling you that you shouldn’t, that it’s wrong.
She said that she saw me watching her and that she’d always
thought that I might be a lesbian but, she said I looked undecided.
She told me that kissing a girl had finally confirmed it for her so
she wanted to help to do the same thing for me.” “Does that sort
of thing count as community service?” Camila joked and Lauren
laughed. “I don’t know,” Lauren mused. “I’m just grateful for it to
be honest. It saved me a lot of time I’d have otherwise spent still
questioning it. Hell, I might have still been uncertain today if it
wasn’t for her.” “I don’t think about other girls,” Camila told
Lauren truthfully. “I don’t think about anyone else except you.”
Lauren hugged closer against Camila’s chest in response to her
words as her girlfriend continued. “I don’t think that I’m gay,”
Camila admitted, “but I’m not straight either. I don’t really think
I’m anything really. I’m not attracted to people,” she mused. “I
don’t ever remember feeling that way about anyone but you…”
Lauren frowned when Camila trailed off and tilted her head up to
look at her girlfriend who was staring in to space, evidently lost in
her own thoughts. “What are you thinking?” Lauren asked her. “I
just wondered if it will always be like that,” Camila answered
 simply. “Whether, I’ll ever feel that way about other people.”
“Why would you want to?” Lauren joked but she could tell that
Camila was serious, that she thought that there might be
something wrong with her. “You find other people attractive,”
Camila stated rather than asked. “You liked Miss Lovato and you
have a whole list of celebrity crushes, but, I have one crush and
that’s you. Why is that?” “I don’t know Camz,” Lauren sighed
sympathetically, reaching up one hand to caress the side of
Camila’s neck. “Maybe I’m just extremely lucky.” “Lucky?” Camila
asked confused, scrunching up her face. “What do you mean?”
“Well, if you’re only ever going to be attracted to one person in
your whole life,” Lauren said, burying her cheek against Camila’s
chest as she spoke. “Then that must make me the luckiest person
in the world.” “Lauren,” Camila protested but Lauren shook her
head to stop her. “No Camz, I’m serious.” Lauren told her. “Kissing
Jessica and all those other girls was a moment of complete self-
awareness for me. It was exciting and it was terrifying, but, it was
nothing compared to the way that Ifeel with you.” Lauren turned
onto her side so that her chin was on Camila’s chest and she was
watching her girlfriend closely.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 11/16 “You were a revelation Camz,”
Lauren muttered. “I fell in love with you, hopelessly and
completely in love. You changed everything and you set the bar so
high that I don’t think anyone else will ever even come close to
making me feel the way that you do. So for you to tell me that I’m
the only person that you’ve ever been attracted to, the only
person who you’ve ever felt that way for well, that makes me feel
pretty lucky.” “Do you really mean that?” Camila asked
uncertainly and Lauren smiled brightly at her girlfriend. “Yeah
Camz, I do,” Lauren assured her as she heard faint shuffling noises
on the carpet of her room, her brow creasing as she considered
their implications. “What’s that noise?” she asked, sitting up
slightly, propping herself up on her elbow. “It’s only Jasper,”
Camila replied, leaning over the edge of the bed and reaching
down to collect the puppy from the floor. She placed him on to
the duvet beside her as Lauren sat herself up against the head of
the bed again. “I didn’t know you’d bought him with you today,”
Lauren said stroking the Springer Spaniel along his spine as he
clambered over her lap and toppled over between her legs for a
moment before finding his feet again. “I always bring Jasper with
me,” Camila responded, leaning over to pat the dog on the head
affectionately. “He’s my bodyguard. Aren’t you Jasper? At
least…he will be.” “Your bodyguard?” Lauren laughed amused,
casting an eye at her girlfriend who was scratching behind Jasper’s
ear enthusiastically. “Yeah,” Camila answered, lifting her eyes to
Lauren’s and smiling. “Didn’t Itell you?” “Tell me what?” Lauren
questioned. “Do you remember telling me that some dogs can be
trained to respond to their owners when they’re having a
seizure?” “Yeah,” Lauren answered. “Some can predict them as
 well. At least, that’s what I’ve read.” “Me too,” Camila replied
eagerly. “Well, my mom did some research and there’s a facility
nearby that can train dogs to become seizure dogs so we’re
enrolling Jasper there.” “Really?” Lauren asked animatedly.
“Yeah,” Camila replied, stroking Jaspers fur as he settled in to a
ball on Lauren’s lap. “They can’t guarantee that he will be able to
predict a seizure but they can train him to respond to one.” “What
sort of things will he be able to do?” Lauren asked interestedly.
“Well, they’ll teach him to bark if I have one,” Camila informed
her. “That way if I’m up in my room or something it’ll alert my
parents, or if I’m home alone it’ll let the neighbours know that
something is wrong.” She leant forward and nuzzled her face
against Jaspers fur for a moment, kissing him on the top of the
head. “They can even teach them to go and fetch help if needed.
They’ll give him a special collar which will contain information
about my medical condition and who to contact in case of an
emergency.” “That’s great Camz,” Lauren told her happily, a
strange sense of relief coming over her at the news. “The class will
teach him all sorts of different things,” Camila explained further,
scratching his ear once again. “They’ll teach him to try and rouse
me if I’m unconscious and to pull potentially dangerous things out
of the way to stop me hurting myself. Plus, because he’ll be a
seizure response dog he’ll be able to come with everywhere
including restaurants and other places that normal dogs aren’t
allowed.” “When do the classes start?” Lauren questioned. “In a
 few weeks,” Camila disclosed. “Do you want to come with us?”
“Yeah definitely,” Lauren replied gladly. “I’d love to.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 12/16 “Ok,” Camila stated decisively. “We’ll
all go together then.” “Just the three of us.” Lauren agreed,
stroking Jasper as she spoke, her attention firmly fixed on Camila
who was patting her dog lovingly as she kissed his jowl. “So have
you been out at all over the last eight days?” Camila asked Lauren,
as she sat back up and leant back against the head of the bed.
“Yeah, totally Camz, I’ve been out almost every night. In fact, my
spring break has been wild so far.” Lauren replied sarcastically.
“It’s been me, my bed and an endless selection of movies.” “Oh
wow,” Camila said kinking an eyebrow in amusement. “Who knew
that I was dating such a party animal?” “What can I say?” Lauren
teased. “I’m a rebel. It’s just been beer, bongs and banging
tunes.” “There’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d hear today.” Camila
chuckled heartily, reaching a hand over to sit on top of her
girlfriend’s. “Why do you want to take me out?” Lauren asked
Camila lightheartedly. “Do you want to help me escape the
confines of my room?” “Actually,” Camila said, closing the
distance between them and taking Lauren’s mouth in her own,
kissing her deeply, meaningfully. “I’d really like to stay here.” She
said her voice dropping low and becoming husky. Lauren
swallowed hard as she stared straight in to Camila’s eyes. “I don’t
think that’s such a good idea do you?” she said, remembering
 their recent troubles. “Perhaps we should go out…” “What’s the
worst that could happen if we stayed here?” Camila questioned.
“It’s not like we don’t have any selfcontrol or anything. We aren’t
animals.” Lauren laughed at Camila’s words and pressed her lips
against her girlfriend’s, her tongue gliding into Camila’s open
mouth without hesitation when she opened it. Lauren shifted her
position a little, pressing her body against Camila’s more firmly,
more deliberately, the hand that had been stroking Jasper moving
up to caress Camila’s cheek, the thumb of her other hand lightly
grazing the back of the smaller girls hand. Lauren sucked on
Camila’s tongue and she felt her moan in response to the
sensation contentedly. As they parted, Lauren noticed Camila’s
eyes drop down to her lips, and her girlfriend bit her bottom one
between her teeth as she studied Lauren’s. “Yeah we should go
out,” Camila exhaled, gulping audibly before her tongue traced
her bottom lip, her eyes still focused on Lauren’s lips. She shook
her head from side to side, trying to clear her thoughts and
Lauren smiled at her as Camila slid off the bed and ran a hand
through her long dark locks, trying to regain some form of
restraint. “Your hair is longer than when Ilast saw you,” Lauren
noted entertained as she watched the cascade of curls as they fell
down Camila’s back when she released them from her grasp.
Camila turned around, one hand reaching up to rub at the left side
of her scalp, massaging the now hidden scar beneath the dark
strands and glad for the change of subject. “That’s what happens
 with hair,” Camila replied playfully. “It grows…or so I’ve been
told.” “It looks nice.” Lauren complimented her. “I’m thinking of
shaving this side again.” Camila told her, the hand still playing
with her hair there and Lauren couldn’t tell if she was joking or
not. “I mean that’s in now right? It’s all the fashion?” “Maybe a
few years ago,” Lauren conceded, narrowing her eyes. “I’m not so
sure about now though.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 13/16 “You think it’s a bad idea?” Camila
asked her and Lauren pursed her lips, trying to decide if Camila
was playing with her or not. “No,” Lauren replied. “Not if you
want to.” “Hmm…” Camila mumbled thoughtfully, turning around
to look in Lauren’s mirror and study herself there. Lauren smiled
at the gesture, realising it was one of the few times she’d ever
seen her girlfriend look at her reflection willingly and she carefully
clambered off the bed, disrupting Jasper as she moved. She
walked around the bed and came up behind Camila, wrapping her
arms around her girlfriends’ waist and resting her chin on Camila’s
shoulder. Camila leant back in to Lauren and saw her girlfriend
wince slightly at the weight of her. “Sorry,” Camila apologised,
bring her weight forward again and Lauren kissed the side of her
neck as Camila’s hands found their way down to rest atop her
own. “It’s ok,” Lauren reassured her smiling, one of her hands
reaching up to brush at the hair on the left side of Camila’s head
soothingly. “Are you really going to shave this side again?” she
 asked. “No,” Camila laughed. “It takes too long to grow back
again. It’s still not quite the same length as the other side…luckily
my hair seems to grow quickly.” “You wouldn’t know there was a
difference in length,” Lauren reassured her, still fiddling with the
locks in her fingers. Lauren dropped her hand back down to rest
on Camila’s stomach. “You’d love me even if I did shave it again?”
Camila asked her. “Of course,” Lauren said, nuzzling her face in to
Camila’s neck. “I don’t care what you look like Camz, but, even if I
did, that was the girl that I fell in love with and I’m still in love
with her now.” Camila turned around on the spot in Lauren’s arms
so that she was facing her girlfriend and leant forward to plant a
soft chaste kiss on her lips, her hands sliding down Lauren’s arms
to rest on her wrists which were attached to her own hips. “So am
Itaking you out?” Camila asked Lauren. “Dressed like this?” Lauren
countered, lifting her hands to gesture to her outfit which
consisted of her sweatpants and black ‘The Script’ tshirt. “Sure
why not?” Camila laughed. “Whatever you’re comfortable in.”
“I’m getting changed.” Lauren told her, shaking her head
entertained. “Ok,” Camila responded shrugging indifferently as
Lauren separated herself from her girlfriend and walked over to
the closet to choose a change of clothes. Lauren opened the
closet and noticed Camila still watching her out of the corner of
her eye. “Are you going to stay and watch?” Lauren laughed,
picking out a pair of jeans and a shirt. “Ithought I might,” Camila
smirked, raising one eyebrow appreciatively at the thought. “You
 need to wait outside.” Lauren chuckled, stepping over to Camila
and guiding her towards the door by her arm. “Seriously?” Camila
asked as Lauren led her through the door. “You’re going to make
me wait outside? It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”
“That is exactly the problem,” Lauren said and Camila rolled her
eyes. “Are you even going to be able to get yourself dressed
properly?” “I’ll manage.” Lauren told her. “Well, if you need a
hand you know where I am,” Camila notified her, winking. “Ithink I
can handle it.” Lauren assured her. “You say that now.” Camila
joked, “but in a few minutes you’ll be begging for my help.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/69938550576/trialsand-
tribulationschapter57 14/16 The corner of Lauren’s mouth
quirked up in to a smirk of her own as she reached up and started
to close the door. “Remember what we discussed Jasper,” Camila
said to the puppy who was sat on the bed sleeping, her head
stretching to look around the fast closing barrier, “this is the
moment we’ve been preparing for all week. Take lots of pictures
for me alright?” she asked, but Jaspers head remained resting
atop his paws, unmoving. “Jasper!” Camila protested as Lauren
laughed and closed the door firmly, shutting her out of the room
for a moment. “I thought we had a deal!” Camila called through
the door to her dog. “What use are you to me if all you do is
sleep?” she asked. “That’s not cool man! I’m going to need those
treats back that you ate! I knew I shouldn’t have paid you
upfront!” Camila heard someone clear their throat behind her and
 she turned around hesitantly to find Lauren’s mom watching her
from the top of the stairs, an amused expression on her face.
“Hey,” Camila greeted her reluctantly, her face flushing red.
“What are you doing?” Clara laughed. “I’m just loitering,” Camila
told her, taking a step towards the older woman. “Uh huh,” Clara
responded, stepping up on to the landing and walking past Camila
to her bedroom. “Yep, nothing to see here,” Camila sang,
swinging her arms back and forth as Lauren’s mom disappeared
out of sight. “I’m just standing here like a lemon waiting, that’s
all….awesome…” Camila’s phone started to vibrate in her pocket
and she reached in to retrieve it. “’Sup Cheechee,” Camila greeted
Dinah, her best friend’s contact information appearing on her
screen. “Wait, what? Dinah…hang on a minute, slow down. What
happened?” Camila remained quiet for a moment, listening to her
friends hasty and at times, difficult to follow response. “Shit,” she
said, turning around to face Lauren’s door again. “Yeah I’ll be right
there. No, I’m at Lauren’s house. No I promise. I’m leaving now
ok…I’ll be as quick as I can. Yeah ok…” Camila paused for a
moment, lowering the phone when the line went dead on the
other end. She returned the small device to her jeans pocket and
stepped up to Lauren’s door, knocking on it loudly. “Lauren!” she
called, knocking again loudly. “Hey…” she started, but Lauren
opened the door and cut her off. “You really couldn’t wait a
couple of minutes?” she asked jokingly, a smile on her face which
dropped at the sight of Camila’s face. “What is it?” she asked.
 “What’s going on?” “Dinah just called,” Camila told her simply.
“I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”
Chapter 58
“Is she alright?” Lauren asked Camila worriedly, noting the way
her girlfriend was chewing on her bottom lip anxiously. “She’s not
hurt is she?” “No,” Camila answered, placing a hand on Lauren’s
upper arm reassuringly for a moment. “She’s really
upset…apparently her and Siope had this massive fight…” “What
about?” Lauren asked as Camila shifted her weight uneasily on the
spot. “I don’t really know,” Camila replied truthfully, running a
hand through her hair evidently uneasy. “I could barely make out
what she was saying over the phone she was so distressed.”
Camila paused for a moment and sighed heavily. “I’m really
sorry,” she apologised quickly. “I know I was going to take you
out…” “No it’s fine.” Lauren assured her as she reached up and
tucked a strand of hair behind Camila’s ear. “You should go.” “I’ll
make it up to you,” Camila promised her, but she didn’t move
from where she was standing and Lauren placed a hand on the
side of Camila’s cheek supportively as she watched her girlfriend’s
internal debate. “Camz, it’s fine. Dinah needs you more than I do
right now.” Lauren encouraged her. “Yeah, but you got dressed
and everything.” She said tentatively, gesturing to Lauren who
was now wearing her faded blue denim jeans and a beige wool
jumper. “Ugh, I know,” Lauren teased playfully. “You have no idea
how much of an inconvenience it was for me to change my
 clothes either. I mean, I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to fully
make it up to me to be honest,” She continued lightheartedly.
“You seriously owe me now Camz.” “Can I take you out later?”
Camila asked hurriedly, looking troubled by Lauren’s words. “We
could go to the movies and then for something to eat?” “Camz
you know that I’m joking right?” Lauren laughed as she lifted her
hand up to rest on the side of Camila’s neck. “You are?” Camila
asked seemingly surprised by the information, apparently missing
Lauren’s sarcasm completely. “Yes,” Lauren chuckled. “It’s about
time I actually got dressed. I’ve been living in my pyjamas for over
a week now. Besides, Dinah is your best friend. If she needs you
then you should go and be with her. I’ll catch up with you later
alright?” “Are you sure that you don’t mind?” Camila questioned,
placing her hand over Lauren’s where it was still pressed against
the side of her neck. “No of course not,” Lauren reiterated. “In
fact, now that I’m actually up and out of bed I might call Ally and
Normani to see what they’re up to? Perhaps if Dinah feels up to it
later we can all meet and go to the movies as a group?” Camila
smiled at Lauren’s suggestion and leant forward to kiss her
delicately on the lips.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 2/12 “I’d like that,” Camila confessed,
kissing Lauren on the lips again, not once but three more times in
quick succession. “Good,” Lauren said, tapping Camila on the nose
lightly with her index finger and causing the smaller girl to scrunch
it up adorably in response. “In that case it’s settled.” “I’ll call you a
little bit later on,” Camila said swiftly, wrapping her arms around
Lauren’s waist, careful not to crush her too much. “You better,”
Lauren teased, draping her own arms around Camila’s neck as she
brought her lips down against her girlfriends’ one final time,
drawing out the contact as she deepened it after only a few short
seconds “I hope that you have fun with Ally and Normani,” Camila
said, one hand rubbing the small of Lauren’s back for a moment
before she released her girlfriend from her grasp and took a step
back. “I hope Dinah’s alright,” Lauren responded, a sympathetic
expression on her face. “If anyone can make her feel better
though, it’s you Camz.” “Thanks,” Camila said appreciatively,
smiling warmly at Lauren’s compliment before whistling noisily to
beckon Jasper. “Jasper,” she called eagerly. Lauren turned around
in response to the sound of a small thud from behind her as he
jumped down off the bed. She listened to his small shuffled steps
and smiled when he appeared in the doorway and made his way
on to the landing to sit in front of Camila. Camila bent down and
patted him on the top of the head rewardingly. “Good boy,” she
praised, picking him up in her hands and kissing him on the side of
the head. Camila turned around and started to make her way
down the stairs, Lauren following after her. When she reached the
hall, Camila picked up Jaspers lead and attached it to his collar
before placing the small spaniel back on to the floor at her feet.
“Didn’t you bring a jacket?” Lauren asked as Camila reached for
the front door handle, obviously preparing to leave. “No,” Camila
answered, “it’s actually quite warm out there today.” “I guess I’ve
been cooped up inside too long,” Lauren laughed amused. “I’ll talk
to you soon,” Camila promised again and Lauren closed the
distance between them to kiss her quickly in goodbye. Camila
opened the front door and stepped outside on to the porch. “Bye
babe,” Lauren said, waving with one hand as the other held the
front door open. Camila had already started to make her way
down Lauren’s garden path and looked over her shoulder at her
girlfriend, lifting her free hand in a small wave of
acknowledgement before continuing on towards her house where
she Dinah was already waiting for her in her room. Camila hadn’t
openly voiced her concerns to Lauren, but she suspected that her
girlfriend could sense how worried she was about her best friend.
The distress in Dinah’s voice had been palpable over the phone
and had caused the smaller girls’ stomach to drop uneasily at the
sound of it. Dinah had been beside herself when she’d called and
her words had been muffled and inaudible through her sobs to
the point that Camila had only managed to pick up a few odd
words here and there. Camila had pieced what little information
she could make out together and understood that Dinah was
waiting for her at her house having had a massive fight with Siope,
over what, Camila didn’t know. The memory of Dinah’s anguish
spurred Camila on and she picked up her speed, walking as briskly
as she could manage without tripping over her own feet, until she
 was unlocking her front door and rushing inside. “Dinah!” Camila
called, crouching down to release Jasper from his leash, the small
puppy bounding off in to the kitchen almost immediately. Camila
stood back up and pushed the front door closed firmly. “Dinah are
you here?!” she called, throwing her keys on to the cabinet in the
hall and jumping on to the bottom step of the stairs, one hand
scrambling for the bannister for
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 3/12 support. “Dinah!?” she shouted,
climbing the flight a couple of steps and stopping in her tracks
when she heard movement from behind her in the direction of
the living room. Camila turned around and descended the stairs
again, coming to a halt as her feet hit the ground floor level and
Dinah appeared in her line of sight, her cheeks stained with tears,
her eyes puffy and red from where she’d been crying. Camila
released her hold on the bannister and ran over to her friend,
throwing her arms around the taller girl’s broad shoulder and
hugging her tightly. “Hey,” she said, leaning back a little to look at
Dinah better. She reached one hand up to wipe at a tear which
was running freely down Dinah’s cheek with her thumb and
smiled sympathetically. “What happened?” Camila asked Dinah
her voice soft and caring. Dinah didn’t answer Camila and instead
wrapped the smaller girl up in her arms again, holding on to her
for dear life as she sobbed in to her shoulder. Camila rubbed her
friends’ back with her fingertips comfortingly and the pair of them
stood like this for a while until Dinah’s muffled sobs subsided. “Ok
you’re really worrying me now Dinah,” Camila finally voiced after
about five minutes had passed and Dinah still hadn’t said
anything. She stepped back and lifted up her arms to remove
Dinah’s from around her back, holding on to them both as she
lowered them between the pair of them. “What’s going on?”
Camila asked anxiously. “Are you hurt?” Dinah shook her head
from side to side and reached up one hand to rub at her eyes,
Camila releasing it to allow her to do so. “Here,” Camila said,
tugging on Dinah’s other hand and leading her towards the
kitchen and the central island. She guided Dinah in to a chair and
moved around the counter towards the fridge, pouring her best
friend a drink of juice which she offered stood and offered to her.
“Thanks,” Dinah said gratefully, taking the glass of orange liquid
and lifting it to her lips, drinking a slow, deliberate sip from it.
Dinah placed the tumbler on to the surface in front of her as
Camila walked back around and took the seat beside her, placing
a supportive hand on the distressed girls’ shoulder. “I’m sorry for
calling you. I just didn’t know who else to call,” Dinah apologised,
wiping at her eyes again and avoiding Camila’s questioning gaze.
She inhaled deeply and swallowed hard, trying to compose
herself. “Did you drop off the chocolates off at Lauren’s?” she
sniffled, recalling that’s where Camila had been. “Dinah,” Camila
admonished, squeezing her shoulder firmly and recognising a
diversionary tactic when she saw one. “Please talk to me.” “I
can’t,” Dinah said sadly, shaking her head, her gaze lowered to the
kitchen surface in front of her. “Oh God Mila, I’ve messed up…”
“What did you do?” Camila asked, dipping her head down to try
to make eye contact with her friend. “I just…” Dinah started, but
she dropped her face in to her hands and started sobbing again.
“Jesus Dinah,” Camila breathed sadly, her own eyes stinging at
how forlorn her friend looked. “You’re really scaring me…” “I’m
sorry,” Dinah apologised, lifting her face out of her hands and
dropping one down on to the kitchen counter dejectedly. “You
fought with Siope?” Camila asked, rubbing her friends’ shoulder
encouragingly, trying to get her to open up about what had
happened. Dinah nodded her head and dropped it back in to her
hands again, shaking it from side to side.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 4/12 “What about?” Camila questioned.
“Dinah?” she probed, reaching her other hand up to pull gently at
her best friend’s hands, trying to get her to uncover her face.
Camila felt her chest constrict tightly and put the heel of her hand
to her chest, grimacing slightly at the sensation which seemed to
pass just as quickly as it had appeared. “Dinah?” Camila pressed
again, placing the hand at her chest on the back of Dinah’s hair,
her fingertips playing with her friends’ hair rhythmically. “What
did you do? Did you…have you been…I mean…you’ve not cheated
on him or something?” she inquired tentatively, not wanting to
offend Dinah with her assumption. Dinah finally lifted her watery
 eyes to look at Camila, one hand hovering over her mouth for a
moment before sliding down and across her chest as though she
was hugging herself. “No,” she answered and Camila felt a sense
of relief wash over her at the word. “Ok,” Camila said, nodding
her head as though that was good news. “Ok so, it can’t be that
bad then. I mean, you can talk to him…” she trailed off, observing
the look on Dinah’s face which remained wretched. “Unless…did
he cheat on you?” she asked, sitting up a little bit, a sudden anger
rising within her at the thought. “No,” Dinah replied simply. “No
one has cheated.” “Dinah you’re going to have to help me out
here,” Camila urged her kindly. “I’m a little bit slow at the best of
times. I don’t think my brain can handle solving a mystery…my
head will explode…” Dinah chuckled despite herself and placed a
hand on top of Camila’s hand which was sitting atop the kitchen
counter. She squeezed it gently, a smile on her lips and she sniffed
again, trying not to cry. “I’m so glad that you’re not dead.” Dinah
expressed sincerely and Camila narrowed her eyes amused by her
friends’ blunt statement. “Ditto,” she said. An awkward silence fell
between them for a moment and Camila glanced up at the clock
on the wall in front of her for something to do, hoping that Dinah
would say something to fill the void. “You have to say something,”
Camila informed exhaling loudly when Dinah didn’t speak. “I don’t
know what I’m supposed to say.” She admitted, shrugging in her
seat. “I’ll say something wrong or…or something stupid, so…it has
to be you…you have to speak now.” Dinah lifted her eyes to
 Camila’s and stared in to them for a minute, unblinking. “I can’t
say it,” Dinah told her. “Why not?” Camila asked her. “It doesn’t
matter to me what you’ve done.” She reassured her. “Dinah
you’re my best friend. I’m not going to think any less of…” “Ithink
I’m pregnant,” Dinah interrupted, confessing at last. Her breath
caught audibly as she tried to inhale, tears threatening to spill
over again. “Oh,” Camila said, her eyebrows rising in her surprise
at the admission. “I…oh…” “Now it’s your turn to say something,”
Dinah said hesitantly. “Congratulations?” Camila joked, trying to
make light of the situation. Dinah smiled halfheartedly but Camila
could see that she wasn’t impressed with the comment, humour
obviously not being what the taller girl needed right now. “I’m
sorry,” Camila apologised sincerely. “I want to say something to
make you feel better or that’ll help but you know,” she said
pausing momentarily. “I’m in a lesbian relationship with a girl so
pregnancy scares aren’t really my area of expertise…maybe if you
wanted to know the best topping to have on your pizza to suit
your mood I could be of some use.” Dinah looked at Camila and
squeezed her hand sadly in response to her words saying nothing.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 5/12 “Perhaps you should call Ally or
Normani,” Camila suggested. “I mean, they know a little bit more
about…you know…sex and this side of things. It’s not really
something that I’ve ever needed to worry about what with dating
Lauren…” “I don’t want to talk to Ally or Normani,” Dinah told
 Camila, tearful once again. “I want to talk to you Mila. You’re my
best friend. Itrust you.” Camila watched Dinah thoughtfully, not
knowing what to say, everything in her body telling her to make
some witty comment despite knowing that it wasn’t what Dinah
needed to hear right now. Camila was so used to making Dinah
laugh, to acting like an idiot around her that it almost came as
second nature. “Maybe you’re not pregnant.” She suggested
helpfully. “Have you taken a test or… whatever it is you’re
supposed to do?” “No,” Dinah replied. “I’m too scared and
embarrassed to go and get one.” She professed. “I only really
considered that I might be when my mom started talking to me
yesterday about her scan next week.” She paused briefly. “What if
I take one and it’s positive Mila?” “Well, it might not be,” Camila
tried to encourage her. “I mean you won’t know for sure until you
take one. It could be fine. You might be worrying over nothing…”
Camila brushed a strand of hair out of Dinah’s eyes before she
continued. “What makes you think that you’re even pregnant?”
she questioned. “I’m late,” Dinah disclosed simply in response.
“How late?” Camila asked her as Dinah reached for the glass of
juice again and took another sip. “Like…a whole month.” Dinah
shared with her and Camila struggled to keep the shock from her
face. “You mean…you’ve actually missed an entire month?”
“Almost two.” Dinah told her. “Shit,” Camila muttered. “Yup,”
Dinah said running her hand through her hair and taking another
swig of orange. “That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re
 pregnant though.” Camila offered. “It could be something else.”
“I’ve been feeling really sick too,” Dinah admitted. “Have you
actually been sick?” Camila asked her. “No,” Dinah replied. “Ok,”
Camila said biting her bottom lip as she considered Dinah’s
predicament. “What am I going to do Mila?” Dinah asked. “I can’t
have a kid. I’m still one myself…” “Maybe you could sell it?”
Camila joked again, her automatic response of humour difficult to
repress, the words coming out reflexively. “I’m serious Mila,”
Dinah groaned, although she couldn’t stop the faint hint of a smile
which touched at her lips. “Well,” Camila said, picking up Dinah’s
hand in both of hers and holding it supportively. “Ithink the first
thing you should do is get a test.” “I don’t want to go out like
this.” Dinah said gesturing to her appearance which was
dishevelled and Camila gave her a sad, understanding smile.
“Well, why don’t I go and get you one?” she suggested. “You can
wait here and I’ll quickly go to the store.” “You’d do that?” Dinah
asked her. Yeah,” Camila said, wrapping her arms around Dinah’s
neck and hugging her again. “Of course I will.” She said, releasing
Dinah and standing up from her seat. She reached down to take
Dinah’s hand in her own and the other girl stood up and allowed
herself to be led in to the hall.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 6/12 “Why don’t you go upstairs and wait
for me?” Camila prompted. “My mom and dad might be back
soon and that way you won’t have to deal with any questions or
 anything.” “They know I have a spare key to your house Mila,”
Dinah said. “They were the ones that gave it to me.” “No not
questions about how you got in here,” Camila clarified.
“Questions about why you’re upset.” “Alright,” Dinah agreed. “I’ll
wait up in your room.” “Take Jasper up with you,” Camila said
squeezing Dinah’s hand. “He’ll make you feel better than I
have…he’s much better at dealing with things like this…less
inappropriate and poorly time comments, more cuddles and
sloppy kisses.” Dinah smiled at Camila and squeezed her hand
gratefully. “You’re not doing so bad,” Dinah reassured her
appreciatively. “I won’t be long,” she said, picking up her keys
from the cabinet and her purse, clutching them in her hand as she
reached for the door handle. She opened the door and stepped
outside, turning around to cast one final look at Dinah before
closing it after her and walking swiftly down the path to the
sidewalk. Camila felt her chest tighten again and stopped for a
moment to press the heel of her hand against her sternum until it
dissipated again. “Jesus,” Camila muttered, rubbing at her chest
which remained uncomfortable for a minute before continuing
towards the nearest drug store. Once inside Camila headed
straight to the aisle where the pregnancy tests were located,
picked up the first one that she saw and immediately headed to
the checkout to pay, feeling, if she was honest, more than a little
selfconscious. Camila had to wait in a short line before it was her
turn to pay and both the old man who was waiting behind her and
 the middle aged woman standing in front of her gave her openly
judgemental and disapproving looks when they noticed the item
she held in her hand. Camila tried to ignore them and glanced
anywhere but directly at either of them, her face blushing
profusely in her embarrassment, despite knowing the test wasn’t
for her. When it was finally her turn, Camila handed the test over
to the cashier to be scanned and the young boy raised his
eyebrow at her briefly before studying her closely with his eyes,
admiring her appearance as though she were stood in front of him
naked. Camila felt exposed but she couldn’t explain why, so when
‘Rob,’ as his name badge read, informed her how much she owed
Camila thrust her money at him hurriedly, picked up the item
from the counter and stuck the box into her back pocket and
covering it with the bottom of her shirt so that it was out of sight.
She collected her change rather briskly and headed straight for
the door, rushing outside in to the now cool breeze and making
her way back towards her house. Camila felt her chest tighten
again and bent over where she stood for a minute, her free hand
rubbing at the scar there with her knuckles. When it had eased
again, Camila stood up and continued on her way, making a
mental note to discuss the pain with her mom later. Just as she
was about to continue, Camila felt her phone vibrate and pulled it
out of her pocket, fumbling with it for a moment and connecting
the call immediately on seeing Lauren’s number on the caller ID.
“Hey,” Camila greeted, sounding a little out of breath. “Are you
 alright?” “Hi,” Lauren returned. “Am I alright,” she said laughing
slightly. “Are you alright?” she countered. “You sound out of
breath.” “I am,” Camila admitted grimacing again at the
discomfort in her chest. “Why?” Lauren questioned. “I’m just
rushing around a little,” Camila said dismissively, attributing her
breathlessness to that. “Did you get hold of Ally and Normani?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 7/12 “Yeah, they’re here now. We’re going
to go to the mall and hang around for a bit,” she informed her.
“It’s been a while since we’ve spent any time together alone like
we used to when it was just the three of us,” she continued. “I
thought it would be good, you know? Give us a chance to catch up
on things.” “Yeah,” Camila agreed. “Sounds like it’ll be fun.”
“How’s Dinah?” Lauren asked when Camila said no more.
“She’s…ok.” Camila said. “Anything I can do to help?” Lauren
asked, sensing that Camila was purposefully not answering her
question with specifics. “No,” Camila told her. “Thank you
though.” “Are you sure she’s ok?” Lauren asked again worriedly.
“Yeah,” Camila reassured her girlfriend. “It’s just a fight. I’m sure
her and Siope will be fine…” Camila paused for a moment
debating something. “Have you told Ally and Normani what’s
going on?” she asked uncertainly. “No,” Lauren answered
truthfully, “they’re waiting for me in Ally’s car. Oh no, wait, now
they’re beckoning me from the car.” “You should go,” Camila
encouraged her smiling at the thought of the other girls trying to
 get Lauren’s attention, knowing that they were probably being
extremely loud and embarrassing. “Just, can you do me a favour?”
“Anything.” Lauren acquiesced. “Don’t mention anything to them
about Dinah.” “Sure,” Lauren agreed. “If you don’t want me to
then I won’t.” There was silence over the line for a moment until
Lauren spoke again. “Camz are you alright?” Lauren asked her and
Camila ran a hand through her hair at the question. “Yeah I’m
fine,” she replied. “Ok well, you know where I am if you need
me,” Lauren reminded her and Camila really wished that her
girlfriend was there so she could hug her, the situation with Dinah
overwhelming her somewhat. “I can’t wait to see you later.”
Camila responded, holding on to the thought of seeing Lauren in a
few hours. “You and Dinah are coming?” Lauren asked sounding
hopeful. “I’m coming,” Camila replied. “I don’t know about Dinah
yet. She might…” “Give me a call back when you know,” Lauren
informed her. “We’ll tell you where to meet us.” “I will,” Camila
promised. “You know you can talk to me if you want to,” Lauren
prompted understanding that Camila wasn’t being one hundred
percent honest with her. “I can’t,” Camila replied. “I’m sorry. It’s
not that I don’t want to…Ijust…” “It’s ok,” Lauren cut her off. “It’s
private. I understand Camz. It’s just that you sound like you need
to get something off your chest. Are you sure I can’t help?” “You
probably could,” Camila confessed, “but…” “Listen,” Lauren said,
“just take a minute to breathe.” She encouraged. “It’ll be fine
alright. Just remember that Ilove you and whatever is going on,
 it’ll work out.” Lauren listened to nothing for an instant, Camila
not responding immediately. “Alright?” she probed her girlfriend
again. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trials-
andtribulationschapter58 8/12 “Yeah,” Camila answered, closing
her eyes and clutching at her chest again. “Yeah thanks.” She said,
sighing audibly. “Can…” she started cautiously. “Can I call you
later?” she finished. “Just to hear your voice, not necessarily to
talk about this or anything…” “I’ve got my phone on me,” Lauren
replied firmly. “Call me whenever you want babe. I’ll think up
some jokes to tell you…I heard this really amazing one about a pig
with a rash once…” Camila smiled at her girlfriend’s words.
“Thanks,” Camila said. “For what?” Lauren asked sounding
confused. “For trusting me even thought I won’t tell you what’s
going on.” Camila told her simply. “Well you make it so easy,”
Lauren replied lightly. “I’ll see you later ok? You owe me some
popcorn for forcing me out of bed this morning and I’m definitely
going to need a kiss in compensation as well…” “I think I owe you
at least three,” Camila interjected, “maybe even a few more than
that.” “All donations will be greatly received,” Lauren said
playfully. “Ilove you,” Camila declared. “I’m very lovable.” Lauren
quipped. “I’ll let you get back to Dinah.” She said. “Not because
I’m fed up of talking to you or anything but Ally and Normani are
giving me embarrassing kissy faces and pretending to make out
with each other in the front of the car.” “Say ‘Hi’ to them for me,”
Camila requested. “Consider it done,” Lauren acknowledged. “Bye
babe.” “Bye,” Camila replied, disconnecting the call as she walked
up her garden path to the front door. Once she’d reached it,
Camila unlocked it and stepped inside, closing it behind her
quickly and placing her purse and keys back where she’d left them
earlier. She then proceeded to bound up the stairs two at a time,
holding on to the wall for a minute to catch her breath two thirds
of the way up before finally making the remainder of the journey
to her bedroom, where she found Dinah sat on the bed, Jasper
resting in her lap asleep. Dinah looked up from where she’d been
stroking Jasper, a terrified look on her face at Camila’s appearance
and the brunette stepped in to the room, pulling the test out the
back of her jeans and holding it out for Dinah, who had sat up on
the edge of the bed, disturbing the small puppy who now
wandered across the duvet sleepily. “Here,” Camila said stretching
her arm out further, holding the small box closer to her friend.
Dinah took the test reluctantly, dropping her gaze to the box and
then back up to Camila. “Mila…” Dinah said, glancing at the box
again. “I don’t think I can do this.” “You have to,” Camila told her,
sitting down on the bed beside her and pulling Dinah in to a side
hug. “You need to know one way or another.” “Oh God,” Dinah
said, dropping the box in to her lap. “How is this even
happening?” she asked. “Siope and I have always been
careful…we always use protection…” “Accidents can happen,”
Camila said rubbing her upper arm sympathetically with the hand
around her back. “Jesus Mila you should have heard him.” Dinah
 said upset, tears spilling from her eyes at the memory of the
conversation that had taken place at her boyfriend’s house. “He
was so angry with me.” “He was probably just scared,” Camila
supplied, rubbing Dinah’s knee with her other hand and pulling
her close again. “He wasn’t planning on the possibility of being a
dad any more than you were planning on being a mom.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 9/12 “That’s just it though,” Dinah told her,
meeting her gaze levelly. “He wants to be a dad. He said if I am
pregnant that I should keep it. That it’s our baby…” “Oh,” Camila
said, not expecting the revelation. “I said that I didn’t think that I
could and he got upset with me…” “Perhaps you should be doing
this with him?” Camila noted. “You know, you should be doing
this together…” “We were going to and then we started talking
about what we’d do if it came back positive and we had this
massive fight. He really wants to keep the baby but I’m not ready
Mila. I don’t want to be a mom yet.” “Dinah you have to talk to
him about this.” Camila told her. “I will,” Dinah told her, “just,
afterwards.” “Alright,” Camila said tapping the top of the box
meaningfully. “So, you’re going to go and do it now?” “So Ijust
have to pee on it right?” Dinah asked and Camila shrugged.
“You’re asking me?” Camila replied uncertainly. “How many of
these do you think I’ve taken in my lifetime?” she asked laughing.
“Right,” Dinah said laughing despite herself. “I’ll read the
instructions.” “That sounds like a good idea.” Camila agreed.
 “You’ll be here?” Dinah asked. “I’m not going anywhere.” Camila
reassured her. “Although a holiday to Mexico wouldn’t go amiss
right about now.” She added smiling playfully. “If it’s positive I
might come with you.” Dinah responded thoughtfully. “I’ll get you
a fake passport and a new identity.” Camila continued with the
joke. “I think you could pass as a ‘Miguel.’” “Thanks Mila,” Dinah
said. “Sure,” Camila replied. “No problem. I’ll gas up the Hyundai
and fetch some supplies.” “I’ll be out in a minute.” Dinah said
disappearing through the door and making her way to the
bathroom. Camila watched her leave and then flopped down onto
her back atop the bed, her arms spread out to her side. Jasper
wandered over to her and licked at her face enthusiastically until
Camila moved a hand to stroke his head, sighing heavily. She
closed her eyes, her temples aching slightly, the start of a
headache forming and she groaned audibly, reaching up her free
hand to massage her forehead to try and soothe it. A few minutes
later, Camila heard Dinah approaching her bedroom and sat back
up, rubbing at her left eye as she did. Dinah held up the test
nervously, the small stick held in a piece of tissue between her
index finger and thumb. “So?” Camila asked expectantly. “What’s
the verdict?” “I don’t know yet.” Dinah answered. “You have to
wait for the results.” “For how long?” Camila asked. “Five
minutes.” “Five minutes?” she repeated in disbelief. “Are they
trying to purposely torture people?” Dinah sat down on the bed
beside Camila and offered her the stick to hold. “No I’m good,”
 Camila said lifting her hands up in protest and shaking her head.
“Please?” Dinah pleaded, placing her other hand on Camila’s
knee. “I don’t think I can look.” Camila studied Dinah’s face for a
moment before relenting and taking the stick from her friend.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70133562994/trialsand-
tribulationschapter58 10/12 “This is so gross,” she complained
before becoming serious. “So what exactly am I looking for?” “If
I’m pregnant there’ll be a plus sign.” Dinah told her. “If not it’ll be
a dash.” “Are you sure you trust me to do this?” Camila asked.
“I’ve suffered a head injury remember? There’s a very real chance
I might read this wrong…” Dinah moved her hand up to Camila’s
arm. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do this.” She cut her off. “No
pressure then,” Camila sighed, her headache worsening a little.
She crossed the fingers of her free hand and Dinah frowned at her
a moment. “What are you doing?” Dinah asked her. “I’m trying to
call in a favour with the big man upstairs.” Camila told her. “I
figure he still kind of owes me a little bit for the last nine months,
perhaps he’ll come through and make this negative for you.”
Camila saw Dinah’s eyes water again at the sentiment and she
pulled the smaller girl in to a warm embrace, thankful for her
presence during all this. The two of them turned their heads in
the direction of the bedroom door when they heard the phone
ringing downstairs. “Are you going to get that?” Dinah asked her
and Camila shrugged in response. “No, the machine will pick it
up.” She said, glancing back down at the stick which remained
 clear, no plus or dash yet showing up anywhere on it. Dinah and
Camila listened as the answering machine clicked on and her
dad’s voice could be heard prompting the caller to leave a
message. “It’s probably just my abuela.” Camila said listening as
the familiar beep could be heard, signalling the caller to start.
“You know, maybe I’ll reconsider becoming a lesbian after this.”
Dinah mused as she twiddled her fingers nervously whilst a male
voice could be heard speaking on the machine downstairs. “Or
you could just not have sex,” Camila suggested only halfjoking.
“Trust me,” Dinah said seriously, “I am seriously going to consider
taking a vow of chastity after this.” “Yeah, but…” Camila started,
but she stopped short as she dropped her gaze to the stick in
front of her, the small symbol finally appearing right before her
eyes. Dinah fell silent too in response and the caller could be
heard still speaking into the machine downstairs during the
absence of any other noise. “….we’ve finally been given a date for
the trial. It’s been scheduled in for June 23 rd but you’ll receive a
letter to confirm this in the mail. If you want to discuss anything
please don’t hesitate to contact me. You have my number.”
Camila lifted her head as the machine clicked off and she couldn’t
help but feel extremely nauseous all of a sudden. “Mila,” Dinah
said and Camila handed her best friend the pregnancy test as she
stood up from the bed and made her way over to the door, her
hand reaching up to cover her mouth. “Shit,” Camila cursed
suddenly feeling dizzy, another wave of nausea hitting her and
 forcing her to her knees by the desk so that she was crouched
over the waste basket just in time to throw up in to it, retching
noisily as she did so
Chapter 59
“Jesus Mila!” Dinah exclaimed, the pregnancy test momentarily
forgotten and thrown on to the bed beside her as she stood up
quickly and ran over to her friend who was slowly lowering herself
fully on to the floor. Camila reached out a hand to steady herself
and she slumped back against the wall beside the waste basket,
dropping her head down in an attempt to ease the sudden
dizziness which had come over her. “Shit,” Dinah cursed as she
crouched beside the smaller girl and placed a hand on her
shoulder. Camila wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand,
the other still resting on the rim of the waste basket next to her.
“Are you alright?” Dinah asked her, concern etched on her voice.
“Shall I call someone?” she questioned. “No,” Camila told her
firmly, lifting the hand that she’d used to wipe at her face and
placing it on Dinah’s upper arm reassuringly. “I’m fine.” “Yeah,
you look it.” Dinah responded, her tone serious yet sarcastic. She
rubbed Camila’s lower back soothingly. “I really think I should call
your mom,” Dinah said and Camila, who was twisted slightly so
that she was turned towards the bin, rotated back around to meet
her best friend’s worried gaze. “You don’t have to do that,”
Camila said, but the colour remained drained from her face and
she was covered in sweat, her skin gleaming brightly beneath the
 thin layer of it on her forehead. “It’s nothing. My brain and my
stomach are just having a misunderstanding. It’ll pass in a
moment.” “You look like crap,” Dinah told her bluntly. “I already
feel better,” Camila lied, resting her head against the wall beside
her and closing her eyes for a moment. “You’re such a liar.” Dinah
said, placing the back of her hand to Camila’s forehead in a half-
hearted attempt to check her temperature. Camila sat back up
again in response to Dinah’s touch and opened her eyes. “You’re
right,” Camila admitted as her eyes struggled to focus on Dinah’s
face and she lunged forward quickly and leant over the bin,
vomiting into it once again, her chest heaving painfully with the
effort of being sick as another wave of nausea hit. Dinah pulled
Camila’s hair out of the way and held it against her back, her
other hand helping to steady the waste basket whilst the smaller
girl retched. “Fuck,” Camila complained when the hot bile that
had been at the back of her throat only moments ago was
replaced with nothing more than an agonising muscle spasm in
her oesophagus as she dry heaved.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 2/11 Camila spat into the receptacle a few
times as she tried to rid her mouth of the disgusting taste which
now occupied it and she slumped back against the wall again,
leaning against it on her right side, closing her eyes. “I’m calling
your mom,” Dinah told her firmly, her own troubles now
outweighed by the alarm she felt for Camila’s health. “No please,”
 Camila said breathily, opening her eyes again and reaching up a
hand which she placed on Dinah’s shoulder. “It’s ok.” Camila
swallowed hard, her throat feeling as though it had been
shredded to pieces by a number of very sharp razor blades. “It
was just a shock that’s all…” she admitted quietly, closing her eyes
again. “I didn’t think it’d be so soon.” “You mean the trial?” Dinah
asked finally understanding, her eyes still puffy and red from her
own earlier anxieties. Camila nodded her head up and down
slowly in the affirmative and Dinah smiled sadly at Camila in
return, stroking the smaller girls’ brow gently with her hand and
brushing a few strands of dark hair which had been stuck to her
forehead with sweat, back and away from her face. “Mila it’ll be
ok you know,” Dinah reassured her and Camila opened her eyes
to meet her friends. “He’s going to go to prison. It’s pretty much
guaranteed…” “It’s not that,” Camila told her interceding. “My
parent’s attorney thinks that he’ll serve the maximum five years if
not an extended sentence for obstruction of justice because he
altered the physical evidence.” Camila closed her eyes again
briefly and swallowed hard again, suddenly feeling dizzy again.
“Ijust…” she started again, shaking her head in an attempt to clear
it. “When I heard the message it made me think about the
accident again that’s all,” she divulged. “It made me remember
and I guess Ijust got a little bit overwhelmed by it.” “What did you
remember?” Dinah asked her as Camila wiped at the sweat on her
forehead with the sleeve of her jumper and opened her eyes. She
 looked at Dinah but didn’t say anything, the memory making her
feel nauseous again. “Can we please talk about something else?”
Camila pleaded, inhaling deeply to try to stop her head from
spinning. “Like…why don’t we talk about the fact that I’m not
going to have to worry about there being a miniature version of
you running around in nine months?” Dinah visibly crumbled
before Camila at her revelation, every ounce of tension leaving
her body along with a fresh wave of tears which flooded her eyes
as a result of her absolute relief. “Are you sure?” Dinah asked
through her small sobs and Camila pointed over towards where
the test lay on the bed with difficulty, her arm shaky in her
current state. “Not really,” Camila answered honestly, closing her
eyes again for a mere instant. “I’d double check it if I were
you…my head started spinning almost immediately after I’d
looked at it and I’m not sure how much you’d want to trust what I
saw.” “You think it was negative though?” Dinah asked hopefully,
glancing back at the bed anxiously. “I’m pretty sure it was,”
Camila encouraged her, nodding her head in the direction of the
bed. She made a move to stand up and retrieve it but Dinah
stayed her by placing a gentle hand against her chest. “No I’ll get
it,” Dinah assured her, leaning over and picking up the test in her
hand quickly and dropping her eyes to study it. Camila heard
Dinah laugh and she had to imagine the broad smile on her
friends’ face, her eyelids firmly closed as her head rested against
the wall once again, the room still spinning slightly.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 3/11 When she next opened them, Camila
found Dinah sat beside her once more, one hand covering her
mouth, the other one holding the pregnancy test up in front of
her as though the result would change if she took her eyes off it.
“So I’m not going to be an aunt any time soon right?” Camila
asked her already knowing the answer to her question from
Dinah’s response but trying to make a joke regardless. “No,”
Dinah said happily. “You’re not.” “Great,” Camila commented still
feeling awful and dropping her chin to her chest as she sagged
forward. “That’s great Dinah.” “Here,” Dinah said through her
joyful tears as she stood up and put both her hands around
Camila’s torso, “let me help you to the bed.” “Ithink I should stay
here for a minute,” Camila told her, still feeling a little sick. “I’ll
bring the waste basket to you,” Dinah reassured her and Camila
met the Polynesian girls’ gaze levelly, nodding her head once,
decisively. “Come on, stand up,” Dinah instructed, pulling on
Camila’s body as the smaller girl tried to climb to her feet. Camila
placed a steadying hand against the wall, the room spinning wildly
around her as she stood so that she almost lost her balance and
fell straight back over. “Shit,” Camila cursed as Dinah tightened
her hold on her, one of the taller girls’ arms snaking around her
small waist and pulling her close against her body. Dinah guided
Camila over to the bed and helped her to sit back down on the
edge of it before returning to the desk and retrieving the trash
 can from beside it. Just as she was wandering back over towards
Camila, Dinah saw the smaller girl flop back into the mattress and
she lurched forward, worried that Camila had passed out or was
about to have a seizure. She heard Camila groan and she quickly
dropped the trash can at the foot of the bed, hovering above her
friend fretfully. “Mila are you alright?” she asked worriedly.
“Yeah,” Camila answered. “Ijust felt a sudden urge to lie down for
a minute. That’s all.” “Ok,” Dinah said throwing the pregnancy
test which she still held in one hand into the bin and sitting beside
her friend. “You didn’t want to frame that?” Camila asked, her
eyes closed, the back of her forearm covering them. “You know,
for the sake of prosperity?” Dinah smiled at Camila’s attempt at
humour and laughed. “No I think I’m good.” She answered, sitting
herself down on the bed beside her friend and placing a hand on
her knee. Dinah stroked the joint through Camila’s jeans
soothingly with her thumb. “Are you going to talk to Siope?”
Camila asked sucking in a lungful of air from her position. “You
should probably tell him that you’re not pregnant.” Dinah
groaned and lay down on top of the duvet alongside Camila. “I
will,” Dinah told her. “When?” Camila asked, turning her head to
look at Dinah, finally opening her eyes again, squinting as the light
reached them. “Later,” Dinah answered simply and Camila
frowned. “You should tell him now.” She prompted. “He’ll only be
wondering otherwise and that’s not fair to him.” “He’ll be happily
picking out baby names more like it,” Dinah commented drily.
 Camila made a face at this and Dinah furrowed her own brow in
response. “What?” she asked her friend sensing she had
something to say. “I’m just trying to figure out why you’re so
upset that he would want you to keep it.” She answered, blinking
her eyes a few times, the light irritating them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 4/11 “Mila I’m sixteen.” Dinah said as if that
should answer everything. “Do you really think it’s the right time
for me to be having a child?” “No,” Camila replied, resting her
eyes for a moment and letting the lids drop down to cover them,
“but, you’d make a great mom Dinah.” She complimented her
friend. “You’d be a natural.” “Are you telling me that you’re
disappointed that I’m not pregnant?” Dinah asked her, propping
herself up on her elbows as she looked down at Camila who still
looked ashen. “I’m just saying that you’ll be a great mom one
day…” she mused, not really answering the question, her thoughts
distracted with other things. “Yeah, one day in the future when
I’m much older than I am now and happily married.” She stated
definitively. “You should take it as a compliment,” Camila uttered
feeling a little nauseous again. “Why?” Dinah asked sounding a
little irritated at Camila’s words. “Honestly Mila, you didn’t hear
how angry he got. I’ve never seen him like that before. He was
furious that I’d even suggested not wanting to keep it. He said if I
loved him as much as he loved me that we could figure something
out. It was as though I’d insulted him or something, but, it’s my
body so surely that makes it my choice.” “Yeah it does ultimately,”
Camila agreed, “but it’s not every sixteen year old boy who would
happily stand by their pregnant girlfriend.” She informed her. “It
just goes to show you how much he cares for you if he believes in
your longevity so much that he’d consider having a child with you
so young. That’s a massive commitment, don’t you think?” Dinah
stared at Camila for a moment as though they were the last words
she’d expected to hear out of her friends’ mouth. “God you’re
annoying,” Dinah muttered playfully, frustrated for not seeing it
before. “He probably reacted like that because you hurt his
feelings.” Camila observed. “There he was showing you how
committed he was to your relationship and you kind of
contradicted that by telling him that you didn’t want a child.”
Camila opened one eye to look at Dinah. “Did you tell him why
you didn’t want to keep it?” Camila probed interestedly, trying to
distract herself from the memory of the accident which kept
playing in her head on a loop and had been ever since she’d heard
the answer phone message pertaining to the trial. “No because he
got too upset and started shouting at me,” Dinah told her. “Ok
can you tell me exactly what happened?” Camila asked, trying to
sit herself up. Dinah straightened and assisted Camila into an
upright position, the smaller girl reaching a hand to her forehead
in a vain attempt to ease the dizziness she felt as a result of the
sudden movement. “Are you ok?” Dinah asked uneasily, her
hands on Camila’s shoulders, one supporting behind her back.
 “Just dizzy,” Camila told her, pinching the bridge of her nose and
closing her eyes. “It’ll be fine in a moment.” “Ok,” Dinah agreed
rubbing both Camila’s upper arms. “So, start from the beginning,”
Camila prompted her, keen for her mind to think of anything
other than the image of a blue Dodge Avenger as it careened
towards her, the driver no longer faceless or anonymous. So,
much to Camila’s appreciation, Dinah did. She told Camila how
she’d missed her last period and how she hadn’t thought anything
of it until yesterday when her mom had been talking to her about
the ultrasound scan she was going to be having next week. It was
then that Dinah had finally considered the possibility that she
might be pregnant and it had scared her shitless. So, panicked,
she’d kept it to herself until today when she’d met up with Siope
and had finally confessed her fears to him.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 5/11 Dinah explained to Camila that Siope
and she had not slept together recently and that the last time that
they’d been together was on Valentines’ Day when his parents
had gone out for dinner to celebrate, leaving them with the house
to themselves. She told Camila that they’d used protection, just
like they always did and that had been a large part of the reason
why she’d not even considered that she could be pregnant before
yesterday. She’d assumed that Siope and she would be safe but
Camila was right when she said that accidents can happen and
Dinah had come to exactly the same conclusion last night after
 much consideration. According to Dinah, Siope had initially been
shocked at her confession, his own train of thought very much
mirroring Dinah’s own, that it was impossible because they’d
taken every precaution. However, as he considered the prospect
and come to realise that it was in fact, a very real possibility, he’d
gone on to say that perhaps it wasn’t necessarily such a bad thing
if she was pregnant. He’d said that maybe it was a sign, that it was
the world’s way of telling them that they were meant to be
together. Siope had declared his love for her and said that they
could get married if she wanted them to so that they could raise
the baby together, as a family. Dinah had told him that she didn’t
want that and had said that if she was pregnant then she’d more
than likely terminate it. In hindsight, Dinah admitted that she
probably could have expressed herself better, that perhaps it
wouldn’t have turned into the massive fight which followed if
she’d explained why she’d not wanted a child, if she’d told him
that it was because she thought she was too young and that she
wasn’t ready yet. Looking back on the situation now, she realised
that she’d not disclosed her reasoning at all. She’d just shot down
the idea without hesitation or second thought and as a result
she’d wounded his pride and managed to make him question her
feelings for him. “Ugh,” Dinah moaned in realisation. “I was
actually kind of a bitch to him.” “You were worried,” Camila
reassured her. “It’s understandable under the circumstances. You
both probably said some things that you didn’t mean in the heat
of the moment.” “It was all over nothing too,” Dinah sighed. “I’m
not even pregnant.” “You should go and talk to him,” Camila
encouraged her, reaching up a hand to place it on Dinah’s
shoulder. “I’m sure that the two of you can work things out.” “I
don’t know,” Dinah disagreed. “Siope loves you Dinah and you
love him too” Camila told her confidently. “It was a stupid fight
and I’m sure you’ll have a lot more of them in the future. You just
need to talk to one another. Go and see him and tell him that you
were scared and that you’re sorry. Just…be honest with him.”
“What about you?” Dinah asked, still evidently concerned,
Camila’s face drawn, her eyes looking tired. “What about me?”
Camila asked. “I can’t leave you here on your own,” she said and
Camila waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine,” she reassured
her. “I’ll probably just sleep…” “What if you throw up in your
sleep and choke to death?” Dinah asked her, interrupting. “That’s
a cheery thought,” Camila said lightly, making a face. “I’m serious
Mila.” Dinah said pointedly. “I’m not leaving you until your mom
gets home.” “I’ll lie on my side,” Camila said in an attempt to allay
her best friends’ fears. “That way I won’t choke to death if I do
vomit again ok?” “No it’s not ok.” Dinah told her protectively. “So
you think you’re over the initial shock now?” Dinah asked her
significantly. “You’re ok about the trial?” Camila made a
concerted effort to look unaffected and forced a weak smile on to
her face as she gave Dinah a thumbs up. “Yeah, I mean I already
had the deposition,” she replied and Dinah shook her head
 knowingly. “How much worse could it be?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 6/11 “Mila,” Dinah said meaningfully,
meeting Camila’s dark eyes fully. “You know it’s not the same.
Your mom was telling my parents all about it. There’ll be a judge
and a jury this time as well as a whole court full of witnesses.
You’ll have to relive every moment of the accident all over again
from the moment that he hit you with the car until now. You’ll
have to share every difficulty, every struggle so that they can
charge him appropriately and determine the damages that he
owes you…” “Please stop,” Camila said, closing her eyes for a
moment and rubbing at her temple. “They’ll show all the pictures
the police and the doctors took Mila,” Dinah reminded her. “Your
parents said that they didn’t do that at the deposition because it
was only a chance for you to give an oral testimony of what you
remember.” “Dinah…” Camila said, feeling sick again at the
thought of viewing those images but knowing that she’d have to
during the trial. “I’m sorry,” Dinah apologised, “I am but, I don’t
think you’re ok about it Mila. I think you’re lying because you
want me to go and sort things out with Siope. You’re trying to be
a good friend despite feeling like crap because you know that
you’ll finally going to have to look at the damage your body
suffered immediately after the accident. What kind of friend
would I be if Ijust got up and left you now?” “I…” Camila started to
protest but she was already thinking about it again, the
 overwhelming sense of panic as she noticed the car speeding
towards her and the loud audible crack which was soon followed
by complete oblivion, until, the next thing she knew was pain like
nothing she’d ever felt in her life before. “Fu…” she started to
curse as she slid down on to the floor at the foot of the bed and
on to her knees, bending low over the bin as she threw up into it
again. Dinah moved to the floor beside her and rubbed her back
comfortingly until she was just dry heaving once again, sputtering
noisily to rid her mouth of the foul acidic tasting bile. “Jesus
Christ,” Camila groaned, wiping at her face with her sleeve and
retching a couple of times noisily. “Shit.” She slumped back
against the foot of the bed and Dinah lifted an arm to wrap it
around her shoulders, pulling her friend against her body
sympathetically as Jasper appeared through the bedroom door
from downstairs and bounded over towards them energetically.
Dinah squeezed Camila in her embrace and the smaller girl
reached out an arm in Jaspers’ direction feeling comforted by his
presence. Jasper clambered over Camila’s legs and put his front
paws up against her chest, eager for her attention despite her
small hand stroking him reflexively. “Down Jasper,” Dinah scolded
the small puppy as Camila tilted her head to rest against the taller
girls shoulder and he wandered over to the Polynesians’ legs
before stepping down on to the floor and jumping up on to the
bed. He walked around on top of the duvet for a moment before
heading towards the foot of the bed where he lay on his front, his
 head resting on his paws between Dinah and Camila. “Can I do
anything?” Dinah asked Camila, her fingers caressing the
brunette’s shoulder lightly. “You can stay here until my mom
comes home,” Camila said, finally relenting. “I mean, if that’s ok?”
“Of course that’s ok,” Dinah told her. “I wasn’t going to go
anywhere anyway.” “You’ll talk to Siope though?” Camila asked
her worriedly. “As soon as I know you’re not alone,” Dinah
reassured her, reaching up her free hand to stroke Camila’s hair.
“Ugh,” Camila groaned, sitting forward again over the bin. Jasper
sat up on his hind legs behind her at the movement. Dinah
watched as Camila lowered herself fully over the waste basket
once again, one arm resting atop the rim as she leant on it, her
head hovering over the middle as though it were a solid toilet
seat. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trials-
andtribulationschapter59 7/11 Camila retched a few times but
wasn’t sick and Dinah was grateful for that as she sat by her
patiently, holding her best friends’ hair out of the way until she
took a deep breath and sat back against the bed again. “Do you
want something to drink?” Dinah asked her and Camila nodded
her head before resting it back against the bed fully and closing
her eyes. Jasper lay back down again and started licking Camila’s
temple, pushing his nose into her skin enthusiastically as Dinah
got up and headed to the bathroom to get some water for the
brunette to drink. Camila, with no energy to move or protest, just
sat there whilst Jasper continued to lick her, only sitting back up
 again with the help of Dinah in order to have a drink. Camila
swallowed the water with difficulty, her throat painful having
been strained, but, she was grateful for the cool, fresh liquid and
the way it cleansed her mouth of the foul tasting bile which still
left a bitter aftertaste even now. Dinah kept her promise and sat
with Camila until her mom came home an hour later, distracting
her from her memories by discussing what she was going to say to
Siope when she went round to his house later. Camila offered her
opinion on things when it was requested and Dinah considered
her words thoughtfully, thankful for the smaller girls’ input.
“Thanks for staying with me,” Camila said appreciatively to Dinah
when she stood at the front door to finally see her out. “No,”
Dinah said pulling Camila in to a quick hug. “Thank you.” She
whispered in to her ear, casting a quick, furtive glance at Sinu who
was watching the exchange obviously worried about her
daughter. “I didn’t do anything,” Camila answered and Dinah
shook her head in disagreement. “That’s not true and you know
it,” she told her. “You did.” Camila held Dinah tightly in her arms.
“I hope you can work things out with Siope,” she said sincerely.
“I’ll call you and let you know how it goes,” Dinah promised her,
kissing her on the cheek softly. “Thanks,” Camila said as Dinah
stepped back and out of their embrace. She smiled kindly at
Camila and offered Sinu a small wave in goodbye before turning
around and heading off down the garden path. Camila closed the
door behind her and was quickly enveloped in her mom’s arms as
 Sinu hugged her warmly. “Oh mija,” Sinu said, kissing Camila on
the forehead as the small girl wrapped her arms around her
mom’s torso and gripped on to the back of her top for support.
“I’m ok,” Camila told her, burying her face into the petite
woman’s chest. Sinu kissed her on the forehead again and guided
Camila in to the living room where her dad was sat on the sofa
awaiting them. Camila explained what had happened properly,
how she’d heard the answer phone message and had been
overwhelmed by memories of the accident so quickly and
unrelentingly that it had made her feel nauseous and a little
disorientated to the point she’d vomited. She discussed her fears
for the trial and Camila’s parents promised to talk to their
attorney about whether there was a way that she could possibly
view the images taken of her in the hospital for the investigation
prior to seeing them in court in order to save her having the shock
of seeing them for the first time in front of a whole room of
people. Camila sat with her parents’ for a while, Sofi coming in to
join them and clambering in to her lap for a cuddle before finally
excusing herself and disappearing to her room. Once up stairs,
Camila crawled on to the bed and lay on her back, staring up at
the ceiling for a moment, her mind thinking at a hundred beats
per minute about everything and anything relating to the accident
that it possibly could. Camila reached up a hand and massaged
her temple, the headache from earlier still present despite having
taken some painkillers. Camila covered her eyes with her hand,
 hoping that the darkness
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 8/11 might help ease the throbbing of her
head and she inhaled deeply, trying to relax as best as she could.
She released the breath slowly, focusing her energy on expelling
all the air from her lungs but stop short at the pain she felt in the
scar that ran the length of her sternum. She moved her other
hand to knead at the spot with her knuckles, pressing them into
the flesh forcefully until it eased off a little to a dull ache rather
than the initial sharp stabbing pain. Camila rolled over on to her
side, unable to get comfortable and she reached for her
nightstand uncoordinatedly for the small container of painkillers
which she kept there. She looked at the label closely reading the
guidance written there. She spent a good five minutes debating
whether to take another despite having already had the maximum
dosage that she could at that time, but, regardless of the voice in
her head which reassured her it was only ‘one more pill’ she put
the container back, sighing regrettably as she did so. Instead,
Camila rolled on to her back again and searched the bed for her
phone blindly with her hand, finding it a few inches away on her
right hand side. She picked it up and found Lauren’s number,
dialling her girlfriend, hoping that the sound of her voice would
comfort her when she was feeling so bad. After a few rings,
Lauren connected the call and Camila closed her eyes, the
forearm of her free hand covering them again. “Hey babe,”
Lauren greeted happily, a light, carefree tone to her voice, the end
of a chuckle on her lips. “Hey,” Camila answered, smiling at the
sound of her girlfriends’ smooth tone and imagining the smile on
her face. “Is everything alright?” she asked, her tone clipped
significantly as she silently asked after Dinah without alerting
Normani or Ally that anything was going on with their friend.
“Yeah,” Camila sighed. “Everything is alright.” “Great,” Lauren said
gladly. “Is Dinah with you?” “No she went to talk to Siope,” Camila
told her. “They have a few things that they need to discuss and
she didn’t want to leave it until tomorrow.” “Ah ok.” Lauren
answered, trying not to give too much away but wanting to
respond somehow to Camila’s words. “Hopefully they’ll be ok,”
Camila informed her. “Ithink that they should be anyway.” “I’m
glad,” Lauren told her seriously and Camila knew that she meant
it. “What about you? Are you ok?” she asked, her voice less
clipped and softer. Camila assumed it was because she had a little
more privacy to talk, Ally and Normani probably wandering off to
look in a shop. “Yeah I’m alright,” Camila replied evasively. “Are
you sure?” Lauren queried. “You sound a little weird Camz.” “I am
a little weird,” Camila tried to joke but she knew Lauren didn’t buy
her attempt at humour. “What’s going on?” Lauren asked her.
“It’s nothing,” Camila lied. “I’m fine honestly. Everything was just
kind of intense this afternoon, that’s all. How are you feeling
anyway?” she questioned. “Are you ribs still giving you trouble?”
“They’re not too bad,” Lauren shared with her. “I’ve dosed up on
painkillers so that’s taken the edge right off.” At her words Camila
turned to look at the small container still sitting on her nightstand
wishing she could take another, her head pounding painfully.
“Good,” Camila said reaching over with her hand and knocking the
container off the nightstand out of sight. “You’ll be back to your
old self before you know it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 9/11 “Are you going to come down and
meet us?” Lauren asked Camila hopefully. “The new Emma Stone
movie is showing this evening. We could go and see it?” “That
sounds great,” Camila told her, rubbing at her temple again. “It’s
my treat remember? I’m still in debt for ditching you this
morning.” “Does this compensation also include popcorn?”
Lauren asked her. “It includes popcorn, dinner, maybe even a
soda if you’re lucky.” Camila replied as Jasper jumper on to the
bed and laid himself across her stomach. “Are you going to be
alright getting here?” Lauren asked. “If not I can get Ally to come
and pick you up?” “No it’s fine I’ll ask my dad to drop me there,”
Camila assured her. “Babe, are you sure that you’re alright?”
Lauren pressed again, sensing Camila’s lack of energy over the
phone. “If you’re not feeling up to it then we can do it another
night?” “No, I need to see you,” Camila expressed a little too
hurriedly. “Why what happened?” Lauren probed again, hearing a
hint of desperation in her girlfriend’s voice. “Nothing,” Camila lied
once more. “I’ve just had a rough time dealing with Dinah and
could really do with seeing you that’s all.” “Ok, well, we’ll wait for
you in the food court alright?” Lauren told her, not wanting to
push Camila but knowing that she wasn’t telling her something.
“Give me a call when you’re here and we’ll keep an eye out for
you. We’ll try to sit somewhere obvious though.” “Alright,” Camila
acknowledged. “I shouldn’t be too long. I’m just going to have a
shower really quickly.” “Take your time,” Lauren reassured her.
“We’ll grab a drink or something whilst we wait.” “Hey Lauren,”
Camila started hesitantly, debating whether to tell her about the
trial and her reaction to it. “Yeah,” she said. “Have you had a good
time with the others?” Camila asked instead. “Yeah it was really
nice,” she informed her. “We’ll have to do this more often,” she
told her, thinking back on how her mom had told her the
importance of them still having a life outside of each other so that
they didn’t suffocate each other. “You know, you spending time
with Dinah and me spending time with Normani and Ally.” Camila
didn’t say anything and she considered spending another
afternoon as she had today. “Definitely,” she replied, faking
enthusiasm but knowing that she was unlikely to have to go
through another situation exactly like today again anytime soon.
“So I’ll see you in a bit?” Lauren asked her and Camila rubbed one
of her eyes as she answered. “Yeah, give me half an hour.” Camila
told her. “Ok, see you soon babe.” Lauren said before
disconnecting the call. Camila lowered her phone and threw it on
to the duvet beside her as she sat up. Jasper slid off her stomach
 and curled into a ball on the bed as Camila swung her legs over
the edge of it, her eyes falling on the container of pills on the
floor. She bent down slowly to pick them up and put them back
on her nightstand, hanging her head in her hands and rubbing at
the scar above her left eye for a moment. Finally, she pushed
herself to stand up and walked to the bedroom door, resisting
every urge in her body to kick in the wardrobe as she passed it or
ram her fist in to the newly mounted picture of the girls, her and
Sofi at her seventeenth birthday party. Camila walked through the
door and out on to the landing, closing it forcefully behind her
and causing it to slam noisily, a sense of relief passing over her at
the sound. “Mija!” Camila heard her mom call from downstairs,
angry at how she’d slammed it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70437679904/trialsand-
tribulationschapter59 10/11 “Sorry,” Camila called apologetically,
opening the door again and leaving it ajar for Jasper to escape if
he wanted to go downstairs. Camila looked at it a moment,
debating whether or not to slam it again but soon thought better
of it, turned and walked down the hall to the bathroom to have a
shower, knowing that, the quicker she did so, the sooner she’d
see Lauren.
Chapter 60
“So how long did Camila say she’d be?” Normani asked Lauren as
they found a table in the food court together and sat down, the
pair of them waiting for Ally who was buying them all smoothies
from the juice bar nearby. “She said she’d be about half an hour,”
Lauren told her, placing her purse on the floor under her chair and
grimacing slightly at the pull she felt in her ribs. She reached up a
hand to her side as she sat back up and exhaled noisily, releasing a
lungful of air through gritted teeth. “It’s still painful huh?”
Normani asked making a sympathetic face and gesturing towards
Lauren’s side with her hand. “Yeah,” Lauren breathed out again,
still clutching her ribs protectively. “I have no fucking idea how
Camz dealt with breaking nine of her ribs because let me tell you
Mani,” she said seriously, “two is painful enough.” “Hopefully
they’ll stop hurting soon,” Normani encouraged supportively,
reaching a hand across the table and squeezing Lauren’s other
one in her grasp. “On the bright side,” she continued playfully, “at
least your face doesn’t look like crap anymore.” “Geez, thanks
Mani,” Lauren laughed. “I didn’t think that it looked too bad if I’m
honest…” “I don’t know,” Normani mused thoughtfully
interrupting her, “a couple of those bruises looked pretty horrific
and that cut above your eye…” she said gesturing at the laceration
on Lauren’s forehead with her index finger, her voice trailing off
slightly as she studied her friends face. “Huh,” she said suddenly
realising something. “What?” Lauren asked her when she didn’t
elaborate. The brunette took back her hand and placed her
fingertips against the stitches in her forehead selfconsciously as
Normani continued staring at her. “Well,” Normani said
thoughtfully, “you managed to split your head open in almost the
 exact same place that Camila’s scar is.” she informed her smiling.
“Except that your cut is like, tiny in comparison.” She noted. “I
guess Camila is much more of a badass than you’ll ever be.” She
joked. “You’re preaching to the converted,” Lauren told her, lifting
an eyebrow in greeting as Ally approached their table with a tray
in her hands, their drinks balanced precariously on the top of it.
“Here you go guys,” Ally said as she placed the tray on to the table
and handed them their drinks, one at a time. She picked up the
tray once it was empty and moved to put it on top of a nearby bin
behind her before taking a seat with the others. “What did I
miss?” she asked them once she was settled, taking a sip of the
cool liquid and glancing between her two friends questioningly.
“We were just talking about Camila,” Normani answered grinning
broadly and Ally smiled at the amusement on her friends’ face.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 2/13 “Why am I not surprised?” Ally
responded chuckling lightly and rolling her eyes. “Normani bought
her up,” Lauren protested noticing Ally’s gesture and taking a sip
of her own smoothie as she met the smaller girl’s warm, kind
eyes. “It wasn’t me.” “Really?” Ally asked Normani unconvinced.
Normani nodded her head in the affirmative. “I just asked Lauren
how long Camila thought she’d be.” Normani admitted as she
played with her straw, circling it around her cup and stirring the
pink liquid within it. “Well, what was the answer?” Ally asked
interestedly. “How long will she be?” “She told me about half an
 hour,” Lauren repeated for Ally’s benefit, “but,” she said glancing
at her watch, “that was almost twenty minutes ago so hopefully
she’ll be here soon.” “I’m glad that your mom finally lifted the ban
on you two,” Normani shared with her friend. “It was totally
unfair of her to stop Camila from seeing you. I mean it’s not like
any of this was her fault, not really.” “I actually spoke to my mom
about everything earlier today,” Lauren filled them in, chewing on
the top of her straw reflexively. “I can see why she did it and to be
honest I can’t really blame her too much. She’s just trying to look
out for me that’s all.” She paused for a minute to have a proper
sip of her drink before continuing. “Besides, Camz is fine and I’m
getting better.” She stated simply. “It’s not like it was the end of
the world or anything. It was only eight days…” “Wow,” Ally
laughed, reaching up a hand and attempting to touch Lauren’s
face as though she were a mirage. “Did you actually just say that?
What the hell happened to you?” “What do you mean?” Lauren
asked, dodging Ally’s petite fingers and moving her head back out
of her reach. “You used to complain if Dinah so much as joked
about sitting next to Camila in home room and now you’re like, I
don’t know, acting all reasonable about having not physically seen
her for eight days.” Ally explained. “I think that’s what we call
progress.” Normani chuckled, leaning back in her chair and having
another swig of her drink as she watched the pair of them
entertained. “Aww,” Ally clucked annoyingly. “Look at you acting
all mature,” she teased Lauren lightheartedly as she attempted to
 prod her on the nose. “I’m so proud. It’s like my baby is finally all
grown up…” “Ally,” Lauren protested as her friend managed to
grab hold of one of her cheeks and squeezed it firmly in her
fingers. Lauren pushed Ally’s hand away from her face, her brow
scrunching up for a mere instant before quickly relaxing, an
amused expression taking its place and a small smile forming on
her lips. “You’re so cute,” Ally continued to tease, her voice
mimicking that which a parent would use with their small child.
Lauren’s face blushed at the words and Ally smiled, enjoying the
red tinge which invaded her friends’ cheeks. “Don’t call me cute,”
Lauren complained, but she wasn’t angry, she was embarrassed,
and she lowered her gaze to the table in front of her for a
moment, fixing her eyes firmly on her drink. “Ugh, you’re too
adorable,” Ally told her sighing. “Not as adorable as your
girlfriend,” she conceded, “but still, you’re not far off.” “She
actually is.” Lauren allowed. “Do you know she bought a present
round to my house every day over the last week?” Lauren asked
them, one hand moving the straw up and down in her smoothie
mindlessly, her fingertip plugging the end so that it filled up with
liquid for a moment before she released it back in to the cup
again. “I mean, she literally bought me something new round
every day and gave it to my mom to give to me.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 3/13 “Let me see,” Normani said, lifting her
gaze to the ceiling as she tried to recall the items Camila had
 bought. “She’d planned the flowers and the box of chocolates….”
“Don’t forget the teddy bear,” Ally added quickly, lifting up an
index finger. “What did she call it again?” “Seymour.” Lauren
reminded them and Ally clicked her fingers at the name. “That
was it,” she laughed. “She said she’d called him that because she
wanted to see more of you but, in her absence he’d be taking her
place so he’d actually get to see more of you then she would…”
“Hence the name Seymour,” Normani finished entertained by
Camila’s thought process. “That’s only three things though,” Ally
said, counting the gifts off on the fingers of one hand. “What were
the others?” “She gave me a colouring book and some crayons,”
Lauren chuckled remembering. “She said she didn’t want me to
get bored.” “Oh, yeah!” Normani recollected. “She also gave you
her first season DVD’s of Pretty Little Liars to watch.” “Shay
Mitchell is so stunning that she hurts my eyes,” Lauren said,
shaking her head at the thought of the actress. “I’m not gay but
I’d definitely reconsider changing for her,” Normani admitted
goodnaturedly. “You probably shouldn’t let Camila hear you
talking about Shay Mitchell that way,” Ally chastised. “Camila
already knows about my girl crush on her,” Normani joked and
Ally leant over and hit her playfully on the arm. “I was talking to
Lo,” she stated more clearly and Lauren’s lips turned up into a
pleased grin of her own at her friends’ conversation. “Camz knows
that Ifind other girls attractive.” Lauren told them. “She doesn’t
mind.” “Maybe she doesn’t mind actors,” Ally said, “but real
people? I’m not so sure.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked her,
taking another sip of her drink. “I mean, Camila gets jealous Lo,”
Ally disclosed. “She just hides it that’s all.” “Are you talking about
Clare?” Lauren questioned and Ally nodded her head, silently
answering as she drank some more of her smoothie. “She’s not
jealous of her.” “She’s a little bit jealous of her,” Normani
disagreed. “She even said as much to us when she saw the two of
you together at the softball game last week.” “Oh come on,”
Lauren said, clearly not buying it. “I admit that the two of us joked
about it at the diner after she’d met Clare for the first time but,
that was all it was, just a joke. Camz doesn’t get jealous, not
really. She isn’t like me.” She confessed. “If anyone gets jealous of
other people, I do.” “See, now that’s ridiculous,” Normani noted
simply, sliding her cup in to the middle of the table and away from
her. “Camila doesn’t ever look at anyone else. You have
absolutely nothing to be jealous of when it comes to her.” “That,”
Lauren said, holding her cup out towards Normani emphatically as
she spoke, “is very true.” She agreed. “Still, I do get jealous.” “You
two are such idiots,” Normani laughed. “You’re jealous of people
talking to her when she literally only has eyes for you and she’s
jealous of a past relationship that you had because she didn’t
know you then and she thinks she’s missed out.” “Ok,” Lauren
said, “so we’re idiots, but I thought that everyone in love acted
like neurotic illogical dumbasses every once in a while?” “Every
once in a while?” Normani said, choking back a snigger. “It’s more
 like once day at least.” “I act irrationally when it comes to Troy all
the time,” Ally conceded. “Do you know that I caught him talking
to one of the girls on the cheerleading squad last Friday in the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 4/13 corridor at school? They were standing
around joking and she was fluttering her eyelashes in response to
everything he said…” “Ally, that’s exactly what you do when he’s
talking to you,” Normani informed her. “I know,” Ally
acknowledged, taking a quick sip of her drink, “but I’m his
girlfriend. I’m allowed to do that kind of thing.” She paused for a
moment to put her now empty cup back on the table in front of
her. “Anyway, I asked him about it later,” she explained. “I told
him that if he wanted to date the hot, tall, blonde from the
cheerleading squad all he had to do was tell me and I’d gladly
dump his ass.” “Are you joking?” Lauren asked, laughing audibly
at Ally’s admission. “Don’t you think that’s a little bit, I don’t
know…” “Crazy?” Normani finished for the brunette. “Well of
course it was crazy,” Ally responded. “Turns out she’s a lesbian
and is dating someone that his cousin goes to college with.”
“Wait, are you talking about Jessica Reynolds?” Lauren chuckled
amused. “Yeah,” Ally replied. “Why?” “How did you not know that
she was gay?” Lauren asked seriously. “Hang on,” Normani said, a
vague recollection of a memory coming to her. “Is she the girl that
kissed you in the changing room that time?” “Yes,” Lauren
answered, grinning broadly. “I even told you guys about her.”
 “You never pointed her out though,” Ally protested. “How was I
supposed to know that was her?” “I don’t know,” Normani
mused. “Tall, hot, blonde…that was definitely the description
Lauren gave us.” “God, I can’t believe you didn’t know it was her,”
Lauren laughed. “You said she was on the softball team.” Ally
complained. “She was, but she switched to cheerleading,” Lauren
informed her. “Kind of a shame if you ask me,” she mused. “I used
to enjoy staring at her ass in our softball uniform.” Normani made
a face and Lauren looked at her unapologetically as she lifted her
straw to her mouth and had another sip of her drink. “Anyway,”
Ally said, trying to get back to the point. “What I was trying to do
is support your claim that everyone in love acts like an idiot from
time to time.” “I never acted like an idiot,” Normani disagreed and
both Lauren and Ally shared a meaningful look. “Yeah, whatever
Mani,” Lauren told her. “I didn’t,” Normani said defensively. “You
were a massive idiot and you know it.” Ally said. “Well, I’m not
anymore alright.” She responded sadly and Lauren gave her a
sympathetic look. “Sorry,” Ally apologised. “Are you still upset
because of what happened with Arin? I thought you were over
him?” “I am,” Normani shared openly. “Arin and I would have
never worked out in the long run. It’s just that I see the two of you
so in love and it kind of sucks you know.” She paused for a
moment to think. “I will never make fun of either of you for being
the fifth….or seventh, wheel again,” she corrected herself,
factoring Dinah into the equation. “Especially because all the
 people that you’re dating are so nice and thoughtful. I mean,
Camila bringing you gifts every day is a prime example of that.
You’re so lucky…” “You’re not going to hear any arguments from
me,” Lauren interceded truthfully. “Camz was truly a blessing
disguised as a goofy, accident prone cutie.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 5/13 “Ugh see,” Normani complained.
“That was so sickeningly sweet but at the same time I’m
ridiculously jealous because I want to feel like that about
someone. As much as I liked Arin whilst we were dating, looking
back on it now I don’t really think it was love. Not compared to
what the two of you have with Camila and Troy.” “You’ll find
someone,” Lauren told Normani, reaching her free hand across
the table and placing it on top of her friends comfortingly.
“Probably when you least expect it.” She added, remembering her
fateful encounter with Camila. “You know, one day you’ll be
standing by your lockers minding your own business and the next
minute some mysterious and intriguing, well, guy in your case I
suppose, will drop all his books and you’ll go over to give him one
back. Next thing you know, you’re unable to eat, sleep or do
anything else but think about their stupid, adorable face and
you’ll start to behave like an incomprehensible moron around
them.” “That was beautiful,” Normani joked. Lauren smiled and
she sat her cup back down on the table so that she could take her
friends’ hand in both of hers. “All I’m saying is that I wasn’t even
 looking for love and then Camz came out of fucking nowhere and
knocked me straight on my ass.” Lauren told her. “That little idiot
changed the fucking game and I didn’t even see her coming.” She
joked affectionately. “That was so deep,” Ally teased and Lauren
glared at her for a moment. “I’m just saying that it’ll happen.”
Lauren stated simply. “You don’t need to search it out. It’ll find
you.” “So what you’re saying is that if I don’t go looking for a
boyfriend then I’ll just casually bump in to one who’ll soon start to
give me very personal diary entries to read, who’ll organise
thoughtful and amazing surprise dates and then bring me a
multitude of gifts when I’m ill?” “That’s what I’m saying,” Lauren
chuckled, squeezing Normani’s hand and releasing it to retrieve
her drink. “If not then, well, you can share Camz with me.” She
offered playfully. “She’s thoughtful enough for two people.”
“Speaking of our girlfriend,” Normani jested, sitting back in her
chair and looking over Lauren’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s finally
here.” Lauren turned around in her seat to follow Normani’s gaze
and saw Camila approaching the food court, her familiar brown
leather jacket and long dark hair visible through the crowd.
Lauren smiled and waved in Camila’s direction to attract her
attention and she felt her heart flutter when the smaller girl
eventually noticed her and grinned brightly in response. Camila
waved at the assembled group, Ally and Normani reciprocating
the gesture warmly as she closed the distance between them and
came to a standstill beside Lauren, her hands now tucked in her
 jacket pockets out of the way. “Hi,” Camila greeted them all. “I
didn’t keep you waiting too long did I?” she asked worriedly. “Not
at all,” Ally reassured her. “We were just having a catch up that’s
all.” “So where’s Dinah then?” Normani asked her as Lauren
finished her drink and put the empty cup back on the table with
the others. “She better have a good reason for missing girl time.”
A flash of something Lauren had difficulty deciphering crossed
Camila’s face but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.
“She’s with Siope,” Camila told them truthfully. “I should have
guessed as much,” Normani exclaimed laughing. “Especially after
our last conversation.” She directed at Lauren and Ally. “Everyone
is loved up but me.” “Aren’t his parents away this week?” Ally
asked, trying to remember what Dinah had said the last time
they’d spoken. “Yeah,” Normani remembered. “They’re visiting
his grandparents out of town so he’s home alone with his older
brother right?” “No wonder she’s skipping girl time,” Ally said
raising an eyebrow impishly. “If Troy had the house to himself I’d
probably skip it too.” Camila dropped her gaze to the floor feeling
uncomfortable because unlike the others, she knew that
whatever was happening at Siope’s house right now it most
definitely
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 6/13 wasn’t that. Sensing Camila’s
uneasiness, Lauren reached for one of her hands, pulling it out of
the pocket of her brown leather jacket and taking it in her own.
 “You’re quiet,” she noted and Camila smiled at her, grateful for
the change of subject despite it focusing the attention on her for a
while. “Is everything alright?” “Yeah,” Camila smiled in return,
turning on the spot and reaching her free hand up to stroke
Lauren’s brow softly. “It is now.” She replied and Lauren studied
Camila’s features closely, noting the deliberate use of her words
but unable to determine whether they were in relation to Dinah’s
troubles or something else. Camila leant down and planted a soft
kiss against Lauren’s lips, lingering there for a moment which soon
turned in to a minute and then elapsed in to two as she deepened
the kiss. Slowly, her hand moved around to pull gently at the hair
which sat at the back of Lauren’s neck and Camila used the
leverage to bring their mouths, if possible, even closer together as
she sucked on her girlfriends’ tongue. “O..k,” Lauren expressed,
her voice breathy and her chest heaving as it fought to replenish
itself with air when they’d parted. She looked between Normani
and Ally who were watching the two of them with a look of both
surprise and amusement on their faces. “What’s…” Lauren started
but she stopped, noticing Camila’s eyes were fixed on something
just off to her left. Lauren turned to see what she was looking at
and noticed the group of three women who were watching the
two of them with disapproving looks on their faces. “Assholes,”
Camila cursed, returning her attention to Lauren and quickly
repeating the same process all over again, undeterred by the
groups obvious dissatisfaction at her public display of affection.
 Lauren released Camila’s hand and moved both of her own to
press against her girlfriend’s chest, prompting her to move back
and separate their mouths once again. “Camz,” Lauren exhaled
airily as she panted, furrowing her brow in concern. “I’m sorry,”
Camila apologised misunderstanding, shutting her eyes for a
moment and Lauren reached up and put a hand against the side
of her face comfortingly until she opened them again. “You should
kiss her again Lauren,” Ally commented from where she was sat,
glaring at the group of women angrily, Normani mirroring her
posture from her position, but looking much more irate than her
smaller counterpart. “Don’t be embarrassed by a few bigots.” “I’m
not embarrassed,” Lauren told her looking at Camila suspiciously,
the smaller girl avoiding direct eye contact with her. “Hey,”
Normani called over to the group before Lauren could voice her
worries out loud. “What are you looking at?” she asked and
Lauren saw the women look at one another, evidently flustered at
being so publicly addressed. “Do you have a problem or
something? If you want I can take you a picture and then you can
look at the image of real love every single day until your godamn
eyes bleed.” “Normani,” Lauren protested. “Jesus, that was a little
bit much don’t you think?” she asked, glancing back at the group
of women who’d stood up from where they’d been sitting and
were now making their way out of the food court. “I’d say it was
just right,” she noted happily watching them leave. “I can’t stand
people like that. I mean, who are they to judge you two? Some
 people are so ignorant.” Lauren turned her attention back to
Camila who was looking at her with an unreadable expression on
her face. “What’s going on?” Lauren asked her knowingly, taking
her girlfriends’ hand once more. Camila turned to look at Normani
and Ally uncomfortably, biting her bottom lip. “Can we talk?” she
asked looking back at Lauren and her girlfriend nodded her head,
pushing back the chair from the table with her feet so that she
could stand up.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 7/13 “We won’t be long,” Lauren told the
others’ and Ally nodded her head in response, sharing a
concerned look with the greeneyed girl. “We’ll wait here for you,”
Ally told her seriously. “Take your time alright.” “I’ll get us another
drink,” Normani offered Ally. “Do you guys want anything for
when you get back?” she asked Lauren and Camila. Lauren looked
at Camila who shook her head. “No thanks,” she answered and
Lauren repeated the same thing to her friend before tugging
gently on Camila’s arm and leading her out of the food court and
towards a quiet corner of the mall, away from interruptions. “Ok,”
Lauren said, turning Camila around to face her once they were
alone, placing one hand on her shoulder. “I knew something was
wrong when I spoke to you on the phone earlier…what is it? Are
you alright? You look a little pale?” she realised, her hand moving
up to brush Camila’s cheek. “I’m ok,” Camila reassured her,
reaching up and resting her own hand on top of Lauren’s
 wandering one. “I’ve just got a bit of a headache, that’s all.”
“Camz we can go home if you’re not feeling up to this,” Lauren
told her, stroking her brow soothingly, her thumb finding its way
to the scar above Camila’s left eyebrow and settling there out of
habit. “I don’t mind.” “No I want to stay,” Camila responded
assuredly. “I just, I needed to tell you something but I don’t want
the other girls’ to know, not yet…” “I won’t tell them,” Lauren
guaranteed her. “You can trust me.” “I know,” Camila
acknowledged. “Is this something about Dinah?” Lauren asked
preemptively. “No,” Camila said. “It’s about me. Lauren, they
finally set a date for the trial.” Lauren’s face betrayed her surprise
at the news and despite not having any idea what Camila was
going to say she was certain of one thing, she’d never considered
it would be that. “Oh,” Lauren said, her mind trying to come to
terms with the news. “Right, ok.” She stumbled. “Well, how are
you feeling about it? Are you ok?” “Not really,” Camila admitted,
leaning back against the wall behind her and away from Lauren. “I
wasn’t going to tell you today. In fact, I’d promised myself that I
wouldn’t, that I’d wait until tomorrow so that I didn’t ruin this
afternoon but…” “Hey,” Lauren said, placing both her hands firmly
on Camila’s shoulders. “You haven’t ruined anything Camz…”
“God, I just wanted to go one afternoon without bringing any of
my drama in to your life again,” Camila groaned frustrated,
running a hand through her hair. “I wanted today to be about you
and making sure that you had fun and that you were feeling
better. I didn’t want to make it about me, but then I saw you and I
needed you…” “So you kissed me,” Lauren said plainly. “Camz I
can read you like a book you know? That’s how I knew something
was wrong…it was because of your? It was desperate…” she told
her. “Not that I didn’t appreciate it because, trust me, I did, but, I
can tell. You kiss differently depending on how you’re feeling…”
“I’m sorry,” Camila apologised. “I hate that I couldn’t keep it from
you for just a little bit longer but I needed to get it off my chest.”
“It’s ok,” Lauren told her, pulling Camila in to a hug and stroking
her hair lightly with the fingertips on one hand as the dark locks
cascaded freely down her back. She winced unnoticed by her
girlfriend as her ribs protested a little at the weight of Camila
against them. Lauren kissed the side of Camila’s head as she felt
her girlfriend’s arms wrap around her body in return. “I don’t
mind Camz, honestly.” Lauren reassured her. “I’m glad that you
told me.” “You’re still hurt though,” Camila said sadly against her
chest. “You’re physically hurt because of me and I should be there
for you right now, not the other way around. I was really trying…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 8/13 “I am fine,” Lauren said, leaning back
to look Camila in the eyes. “I’m well on the road to recovery and
from what I remember of the last eight days you’ve done nothing
but make me feel better and that’s without even seeing me
Camz.” “I’m sorry,” Camila apologised again. “Ijust…it was all a
little bit overwhelming. I mean, this is it Lauren.” She said, resting
 back against the wall again. “Once the trial is finished this will all
be over. I can finally have some closure.” Lauren grazed Camila’s
cheek with the back of her fingertips, a sad smile on her lips. “It’s
a little bit daunting though,” Lauren stated sympathetically,
understanding a little about what the trial would entail from
conversations she’d overheard at the Cabello’s house when she’d
been over there for dinner on a few occasions. “I don’t know if I
can face looking at myself like that,” Camila admitted, getting
right to the crux of her fears. “You mean the pictures from the
hospital?” Lauren asked her, her hand coming to a rest on the side
of Camila’s neck. Camila nodded in the affirmative. “I…I was sick
just thinking about it,” Camila disclosed, her voice small,
ashamed. “That’s why I needed to have a shower. I completely
lost it when I heard.” “You should have said something on the
phone,” Lauren chastised. “I would have come straight over.” “I
know,” Camila replied. “That’s why I didn’t. I didn’t want you to
come over and spend the rest of the day holding my hair out of
the way while I vomited in to a trash can.” She said sounding a
little frustrated and remembering how Dinah had done that for
her earlier. “You’ve held me together for long enough now. It’s
time that I started to support you…” “Camz you do support me
and you have been there for me,” Lauren told her seriously,
squeezing her shoulder firmly. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re
indebted to me because that’s not how this works. We’re not
keeping score. It is what it is. That’s all.” Lauren pulled Camila in
 to another hug and buried her chin in to the crook of the smaller
girl’s neck. “I wanted to react differently,” Camila admitted to her.
“I didn’t want to let it get on top of me I wanted to be ok you
know? To just deal with it and then move on.” “Camz it sounds
like you did that.” Lauren reassured her. “Lauren I was sick…like,
Iliterally vomited…a lot.” She reiterated. “Geez Camz, so you were
sick.” Lauren said. “It’s not like you could have controlled that. It
was a physical reaction to what happened to you. It was your
body’s response, not yours. It does that for a reason you know,”
she told her. “I know,” Camila acknowledged. “My therapist said
that it’s to do with my anxiety attacks. That’s why it happened at
the police station.” “You had a panic attack Camz.” She stated.
“It’s not the first and it probably won’t be the last one you have
either unfortunately.” “I was just disappointed,” Camila admitted.
“Ithought I was past all that.” “Camz I probably would have been
sick if I were you too,” Lauren shared with her. “I can’t imagine
what it’s like but do you know how much you’ve changed since I
first met you?” Lauren asked her. “Camz regardless of what
happened physically to the news, you still got up and you had a
shower and you came out to meet us here. You’d never have
done that last September. You’d probably have stayed home and
trashed your room or something equally as destructive…” Camila
moved back away from Lauren and met her soft eyes. “You didn’t
trash your room on the way out did you?” Lauren asked laughing
nervously at the look Camila was giving her. “No,” Camila told her,
 “I didn’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to, but…I didn’t. I
settled for just slamming the bedroom door.” “See,” Lauren
smiled happily. “That’s progress.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 9/13 Lauren brushed a strand of hair out of
Camila’s eyes and reached down to take her hand. She played
with her fingers mindlessly, her piercing green orbs fixed firmly on
her girlfriends’ face. “Do you want to go home and talk about this
properly?” Lauren asked her. “Because we can you know…” “I do
want to talk about it,” Camila replied honestly, “just, not
now…ok?” “Tomorrow then?” Lauren encouraged her. “Sure,”
Camila agreed easily. “Tomorrow.” Camila reached up and
fingered the fabric of Lauren’s shirt instinctively. “I just, I wanted
to tell you what happened and now I have,” Camila said, dropping
her gaze to watch her hand as it fiddled with her girlfriend’s
clothing. “I feel better about it now.” “What about Dinah?”
Lauren asked perceptively. “Dinah will be fine.” Camila told her
truthfully. “What about Dinah and Siope?” Lauren questioned
further, ever observant of Camila’s choice of words. “Watch this
space.” Camila said simply, looking back up at Lauren who was still
watching her closely. “So what do you want to do now?” Lauren
asked her, leaving the subject of Dinah there and moving on to
something else, not pushing Camila to share anything that she
didn’t want to with her. “What do you mean?” she asked lightly, a
smirk appearing on her face. “I thought we had a threesome with
 Emma Stone planned?” Camila joked and Lauren laughed. “A
threesome with Emma Stone?” Lauren queried amused and
Camila stepped closer to her girlfriend. “Yeah, well she doesn’t
really do anything for me but I could make allowances it if it made
you feel better,” Camila said playfully. “Has anyone ever told you
that you’re weird?” Lauren asked blithely. “Only all the time,”
Camila answered. “Ithought that’s why you loved me?” “That’s
just one of the many reasons that I love you,” Lauren said, kissing
her forehead softly and causing Camila to close her eyes in
response to the touch. Lauren moved her mouth down to kiss
Camila on the lips delicately, her girlfriends’ eyes closed all the
while. “Along with the fact that you give me inappropriately
named teddy bears when I’m ill,” she commented dryly. “Huh,
you figured that out?” Camila chuckled, opening her eyes to look
at Lauren who was grinning broadly. “Seymour?” Lauren laughed.
“Or Seymore? Like, Seymore Butts?” “Either works.” Camila
replied and Lauren shook her head. “The girls thought you named
him that because you wanted to see more of me because we
were separated.” Lauren informed her. “That’s true,” Camila
commented. “I think you named him that because you wanted to
see more of me…” Lauren said raising an eyebrow. “You know….as
in…with less clothing on…” “I did,” Camila affirmed again. “You’re
like a weird little genius, you know that?” Lauren asked amused.
“I know,” Camila acknowledged. “One day I will use this particular
talent to overthrow the government and take over the world from
 my secret lair somewhere high up in the Alps but, until then, I’ll
use it for more innocuous things like naming inanimate objects.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 10/13 “A secret lair?” Lauren pressed,
wanting to hear more of Camila’s over imagination at work and
enjoying the contented look it bought to her girlfriends’ face. “Yes
a secret lair,” Camila replied laughing. “It has to be a secret or else
the military will find me and put a stop to all my plans. It’ll have a
room with a load of TV screens…” “To spy on the world,” Lauren
interrupted. “No to play simultaneous music videos on it,” Camila
informed her. “Jasper will be my minion and I’ll send him out in
search of food every once in a while and to do my recon for me…”
“Umm, and where exactly do Ifit in to all this?” Lauren asked her
entertained. “You can be my sidekick,” Camila said good-
humouredly. “You know,” she shrugged, “if you want to that is.”
“Can Ithink about it?” Lauren asked, wrapping her arms around
Camila’s waist. “Ok, but don’t take too long,” she told her. “I’m
thinking of putting out an ad.” “Alright,” Lauren agreed, leaning
forward and bringing her face closer to Camila’s. Camila smiled,
anticipating Lauren’s kiss. “I’m going to have to kiss you before I
make a firm decision of course.” She said. “I mean you understand
why that’s important don’t you? It’s research.” “Mmhmm,”
Camila responded. “Research is extremely valuable when making
any decision.” Lauren leant forward and connected their lips,
kissing Camila happily, glad that she was back to making playful
 comments once again, all thoughts of the trial put firmly to the
back of her mind for now. “So, what do you think?” Camila asked.
“You’ll take the job?” “I think I need to do a little more research
before I commit to anything.” Lauren teased and Camila moved
her mouth so that it was hovering mere inches from her
girlfriend’s. “Do as much research as you need to,” Camila
whispered huskily and Lauren took the offer straight to heart
kissing her again. “Do you think Normani and Ally will join our
team of super villains?” Camila asked when they’d separated
again, Lauren’s arms still wrapped around her waist. “We could
put the offer to them?” Lauren asked, turning around and guiding
Camila back towards the food court where their friends sat
waiting for them. “Just for the record I’m not recommending that
they do any research before they make a decision.” Camila joked,
moving slightly so that Lauren’s hand, which was still around her,
slipped down to her hip. Camila took hold of it as they continued
back to the table they’d left the other’s occupying. “Theirs is a
onetime only offer that they either accept or decline…” Camila
stated bluntly. “I draw a line at kissing them.” “Well, I told
Normani I’d share you with her if she never falls in love,” Lauren
informed her neutrally. “Wait, you what?” Camila asked frowning
as the food court came in to view. “Itold Normani that I’d share
you with her.” She repeated. “What? Really?” Camila asked,
wondering how the hell Lauren had even gotten in to a
conversation like that with Normani. “Yeah,” Lauren answered
 laughing. “So, fair enough don’t kiss Ally,” she allowed, “but you
might have to get used to kissing Normani.” Camila stopped in her
tracks to look at Lauren, a confused expression on her face. “Don’t
I get a say in this?” she asked making a face. “No,” Lauren said,
tugging on Camila’s arm and pulling her back towards Ally and
Normani who had spotted them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 11/13 “Lauren,” Camila protested, pushing
her in the side playfully and making a face as soon as she saw the
grimace which spread across Lauren’s features. “Shit! Sorry!”
Camila apologised quickly. “Fuck! I’m such an idiot.” “Holy shit
that fucking hurt,” Lauren complained laughing despite the pain.
“Then why are you laughing?” Camila asked her hitting her on the
arm. “Because it’s stupid that’s why.” Lauren told her. “It’s only a
couple of little fractures and Ifeel like I’ve been hit by a godamn
car.” Camila furrowed her brow at Lauren’s choice of words.
“Don’t give me that look,” Lauren laughed again. “You know what
I mean?” “Yes I do,” Camila answered as they came to a halt in
front of the table. “You’re back,” Normani said, sitting up taller at
their arrival. “We thought we might have lost you for the rest of
the day.” “Aww, don’t worry baby,” Camila practically purred,
leaning a hand down on to the table in front of her as she tried to
act seductive but failing, instead appearing awkward and
comedic. “I wouldn’t leave you waiting for too long. I know how
much you miss me when I’m not around.” Camila slid around
 closer to Normani and raised an eyebrow as she continued the
charade. “You want me to sit on your lap for a bit?” she asked,
reaching for Normani’s hand and holding it in her own. “Maybe
we could go outside and get some fresh air?” she suggested,
winking, the insinuation clear. Normani glanced up at Lauren
looking highly uncomfortable. “Did you happen to tell her what
we were talking about before?” she asked. “It might have come
up.” Lauren replied amused as Camila grinned in her direction,
enjoying the game. She attempted to sit down on Normani’s lap
but the other girl stood up quickly. “Oh my God,” she said to
Lauren. “Have I told you that I hate you sometimes?” she
protested, failing to suppress a laugh. “And you Camila…you need
to stop alright?” “What? Why?” Camila asked pouting a little,
having been relishing in Normani’s discomfort. “This is so much
fun.” “So we’re going to the movies now right?” Normani asked,
trying to change the subject and shaking her hand in an attempt
to get Camila to let go of it. “Ooh, we can sit in the back row
together.” Camila said to Normani who gave Lauren a pleading
look. “Ok Camz,” Lauren interceded for her friend. “Give Normani
a break huh?” “Only if we can sit in the back row together?”
Camila asked her girlfriend. “Ew,” Normani groaned and Ally
laughed lightly from her seat. “Deal,” Lauren agreed, holding out a
hand which Camila took willingly as she stepped back over to her
girlfriend. “Maybe we’ll leave you guys to it,” Normani mused,
turning to Ally. “You’re not going to come with us?” Lauren asked,
tilting her head slightly. “Not if I have to sit next to you whilst you
get up to all sorts in the back of the theatre.” Normani told them
seriously. “I’d rather not subject myself to that.” “We’re not going
to get up to anything,” Lauren informed her, glancing at Camila
who was watching her silently. “Right?” “Right,” Camila said
unconvincingly. “Yeah, of course we won’t.” “You know what,”
Normani laughed. “I do not trust either of you.” She joked. “I’m
out.” “If Mani is out then I’m out too,” Ally chuckled. “I’m not
going to be the awkward third wheel.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70642399960/trialsand-
tribulationschapter60 12/13 “Well then I guess it’s just me and
you,” Camila said looking up at Lauren who smiled back at her.
“You better lead the way then,” Lauren urged her and Camila
waved goodbye to Ally and Normani before heading back out of
the food court in the direction they’d just entered. “Remember
you still owe me for earlier,” Lauren reminded her mischievously
as Camila linked arms with her girlfriend. “I remember,” Camila
replied, grinning. “I’m pretty sure I promised you kissing…” “I’m
pretty sure that you promised me that too,” Lauren told her
amused. Camila smirked at Lauren before turning her attention
forwards again and continuing on her way in the direction of the
AMC multiplex, her arm still linked with Lauren’s. “You’ll get your
compensation,” she teased playfully. “I always pay my debts.”
A/N: This chapter turned in to one long ass one….so, therefore, I
have split it. Expect fluff in the next chapter because that’s the
 kind of mood I’m in. As for this one, I don’t even know what it’s
about, lol. Sorry x
Chapter 61
A/N: Umm….so, it’s late here and I’ve not proof read this which
means it could potentially be an interesting read x Camila and
Lauren walked through the mall slowly, their arms linked together
and their hands entwined, Camila casting quick, interested looks
through some of the store windows as they passed. “Do you want
to have a look around?” Lauren asked noticing Camila’s glances.
“We don’t have to go straight to the movies if you’d rather shop.”
Camila looked up to meet Lauren’s eyes and squeezed her hand
lightly in her own. “No, that’s alright.” Camila answered. “I don’t
really need anything.” Lauren took a moment to contemplate
Camila’s tattered and torn, blue converse trainers, a disbelieving
look on her face. “You don’t need anything?” she asked, her lips
curving up in to a smile as she lifted her eyes to take in Camila’s
features again. “Not one, single, thing?” Camila shook her head
and Lauren laughed as she made a mental note to buy her
girlfriend some new shoes when she got her next allowance. “I
was just trying to figure out where the music store is in here but I
can’t seem to remember.” Camila said, twisting her body on the
spot to look first in one direction and then the other, seemingly
puzzled. Camila screwed up her face, her nose and forehead
creasing thoughtfully as she continued to scan the mall around
her. “It’s up the other end by Barnes and Noble,” Lauren informed
 her helpfully, a similarly mystified expression appearing on her
own face. “Why?” “What up here?” Camila asked pointing in
completely the wrong direction. “No the other end of the mall,”
Lauren corrected, turning around and pointing the right way.
“Down here opposite Forever 21.” “Really?” Camila asked, her
eyes following Lauren’s hand. She seemed surprised by the
information and Lauren couldn’t help but find her confusion
adorable. “Yeah babe,” Lauren laughed. “When was the last time
that you came here?” “It was at the weekend,” Camila told her a
little irritated. “My parents bought me here to buy my new
guitar.” “I can’t believe that you broke your other one,” Lauren
chuckled remembering Camila’s video from earlier. “You’re such a
dork.” Camila grinned brightly at the sound of the word and
Lauren nudged her playfully in response, her own smile matching
that of her girlfriend’s. “It was your fault,” Camila moaned
spiritedly, remembering Lauren’s fractured ribs just in time to
stop herself from bumping the other girl back. “If you hadn’t left
your Fall
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 2/16 Out Boy album at my house I wouldn’t
have done.” “I wish you’d recorded your impromptu rock
concert,” Lauren chuckled heartily. “I can only imagine what you
and Dinah were getting up to. I’m pretty sure that the pair of you
shouldn’t be left together unattended.” “Right,” Camila said
simply, her mood turning gloomy at the mention of her best
 friend in view of everything that had happened earlier. Lauren
smiled at Camila sadly and rubbed the back of her hand with her
thumb. “Sorry,” she apologised and Camila placed her free hand
on top of Lauren’s in acknowledgement. “Did you want to go
there?” Lauren asked her, redirecting the conversation back to
the original topic. “You know, to the store?” “I was thinking of
buying some new sheet music,” Camila thought out loud, biting
her bottom lip. “I’ve been really trying to practice more and I
thought maybe having some new songs to learn would help. It can
wait though….” “No, it can’t,” Lauren said, pleased at the thought
of Camila getting back in to her music and pulling on her arm to
lead her down the mall and towards the store. Camila lagged
behind her for a moment but soon picked up her pace so that she
was beside her girlfriend again. “If you want to buy some sheet
music then we’ll go and get some.” “It’s really not important,”
Camila told her. “It’ll take five minutes,” Lauren said simply,
preventing any further argument from Camila. “I can’t believe I
couldn’t remember where the store was,” Camila complained
after they’d continued a few minutes in silence. “That’s so stupid.
What the hell is wrong with me?” “Nothing is wrong with you,”
Lauren responded giving Camila a meaningful look. “I used to go
to this store all the time,” Camila mused reflectively. “I mean, I
practically lived in the place before the accident and now I can’t
even find it.” “Camz,” Lauren said eyeing her girlfriend carefully.
“It’s not a big deal. You know what your memory is like…” “I
 know,” Camila interceded. “It’s really crap sometimes but, I don’t
know, there are days when I feel like I’m really better.” she shared
openly. “It’s almost like there’s nothing wrong with me. It’s like,
some mornings I can wake up and if it weren’t for the scars and
the function of my left hand I wouldn’t even know that I’d been in
an accident.” “It’ll get there eventually,” Lauren reassured her. “I
mean, you don’t have to have speech therapy anymore because
it’s improved so much and you’re hardly ever at physical therapy
now. You only go once a month so that they can check that you’ve
not lost any range in your joints and to see if they can improve
your coordination any further. Everyone forgets things every once
in a while.” She reminded Camila. “That doesn’t make you special
you know.” She teased. “I know,” Camila laughed, Lauren’s words
making her feel better and she leant her head closer to the taller
girls shoulder and pretended to bite it playfully. “I am so much
better. Even I can see that.” She acknowledged and Lauren smiled
brightly at the words. Lauren didn’t think a time would come
where she’d ever stop smiling in response to hearing Camila
recognise her own progress. “So what’s the problem then?”
Lauren asked her. “The problem is that even though I don’t have
speech therapy anymore, I still can’t speak properly when I’m
really tired or stressed or…I don’t know,” Camila said, pausing as
she thought for a moment. “Emotional.” She finally added. “Plus,
I’m probably more likely to slap myself in the face in the morning
than anyone else I know because my sensation in this hand is so
poor,” Camila stated, lifting up their entwined hands, her left one,
significantly. “It just kind of sucks to know that in the future there
will still be days that I’ll walk in to somewhere that I’ve been going
my whole life and I’ll still be disorientated or lost.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 3/16 “You used to forget your locker
combination all the time at school Camz,” Lauren reminded her,
“and I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve had to
remind you to take your meds or lock your front door when you
leave the house.” She continued. “It’s not a big deal. The other
day someone asked me my date of birth and it look took me ten
minutes before I remembered it.” “You’re just saying that,”
Camila commented, “but thanks.” “I’m not,” Lauren laughed.
“Even my mind goes blank from time to time.” “I hate getting
confused,” Camila admitted to her. “It’s embarrassing.” “Yeah
well I think it makes you cute,” Lauren said in an attempt to
comfort her, tapping the end of Camila’s nose lightly, the smaller
girl scrunching it up in response to the contact. “You think
everything that I do is cute,” Camila protested amused, jerking her
head back when Lauren tried to tap her nose again. “I could
probably punch you in the face and you’d find it adorable,” she
joked. “That would definitely be one sure fire way to make me fall
at your feet,” Lauren laughed and Camila couldn’t resist the urge
to nudge her gently at the comment. Lauren feigned a grimace
but in truth she was actually undisturbed by Camila’s lacklustre
 force and she delighted in mocking her for it. “I have no idea how
you managed to give Miss Lovato a black eye and break both your
hand and Rachel’s nose.” Lauren giggled lightheartedly. “That was
pathetic Camz.” She taunted goodnaturedly. “You’re so tiny that
sometimes I think a fly could take you in a fight.” “I’m not that
small!” Camila responded faking insult and pushing Lauren harder,
her girlfriend laughing despite the discomfort the contact elicited
in her side. “You can’t call me tiny when people like Ally exist!”
“Ally can actually pack a surprisingly good punch,” Lauren told
Camila, recalling the time her friend had given her a dead arm for
the whole of lunch period during their freshman year. Ally had hit
her excitedly after hearing that Justin Timberlake was touring and
would be playing the American Airlines Arena in Miami and
Lauren had had the worst arm ache as a result of it. “You on the
other hand…” Lauren said, tilting her head slightly and making a
point of studying Camila’s physical form disappointingly.
“Well…you know…” Camila’s mouth dropped open at the
pretended insult and she took a moment to think of a retort. “You
don’t think I could hurt you if I wanted to?” Camila finally settled
on asking, a hint of an entertained challenge to her voice. “I’ve
just been going easy on you,” she said, her smile wide and her
eyes glistening mischievously. “I could hurt you if I wanted to you
know…” “I don’t believe you,” Lauren interrupted her laughing. “I
can,” Camila said assuredly. “Prove it,” Lauren dared her and
Camila untangled her hand from her girlfriend’s and took a step
 back to look at her, uncertain whether she was being serious or
not. “You don’t think that I will?” Camila asked her, cocking one
eyebrow and narrowing her eyes as she tried to read Lauren’s
body language. “No…I don’t think that you will,” Lauren said
meaningfully and shrugging as she walked off, continuing on in
the direction of the music store, apparently untroubled by
Camila’s threat. Camila watched her go for a moment, half
expecting Lauren to turn around and wait for her but infuriatingly
she didn’t, she just kept on going, apparently untroubled. When
Lauren was a good few feet ahead of where Camila stood, the
smaller girl hurried after her and moved around in front of Lauren
to block her path, causing her to come to an abrupt stop. Lauren
looked at Camila’s irritated expression amused and crossed her
arms in front of her over her chest as she waited for her girlfriend
to say something.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 4/16 “You’re mean do you know that?”
Camila asked her pouting and Lauren chuckled at the use of her
girlfriend’s secret weapon. “No,” Lauren said, stepping around
Camila and tilting her head in her direction as she passed her.
“That’s mean.” “Remind me to punch you hard when you’re fully
recovered.” Camila said, struggling to keep up with Lauren. Lauren
pretended to consider the request for a moment and then made a
face, shaking her head. “Nah,” she responded as she turned in to
the music store and paused just inside, turning around to face
 Camila who almost careened straight in to her, either not paying
enough attention to Lauren’s actions or her reflexes not quick
enough to react to them. “You’re so annoying,” Camila
complained frowning and Lauren patted her on the top of the
head condescendingly, the corner of her mouth lifting in to a
smile. “I know,” Lauren said winking, “but you love me anyway.”
Camila jabbed Lauren in the ribs with her index finger and the
brunette bent in the middle, hissing at the ache in her side, her
hands coming to rest over it protectively. “You didn’t think that I
would do that did you?” Camila questioned casually as Lauren
stood back up again still smiling despite the momentarily pain
she’d suffered. “You deserved it,” she continued looking pleased
and Lauren shook her head after her girlfriend as Camila headed
off in the direction of the sheet music clearly irritated. Lauren was
tempted to leave it, to let Camila claim this round but she
couldn’t, the urge to continue their entertaining bickering too
strong to resist and prompting her to walk quietly up behind her
girlfriend who was now standing in front of a display and flicking
through a book of sheet music. Lauren slid her hands around
Camila’s waist and pulled her back in to her body firmly,
undisturbed by the protestation in her side when her girlfriend
was so close to her. Lauren lowered her mouth to the side of
Camila’s neck and nibbled on it, her teeth grazing the skin there as
her hands made a concerted effort to tickle Camila’s abdomen.
Camila twisted in Lauren’s arms trying to escape the irritant but
 her girlfriend held her more firmly, tickling her sides and
continuing to nibble at the side of her neck, her mouth making its
way up to Camila’s jaw and back down again. “Oh my God!”
Camila exclaimed, dropping the book on the floor accidentally and
struggling against Lauren’s vice like grip, her body contorting as
she laughed loudly, her neck trying to escape Lauren’s assault at
the same time as her torso so that she was twisting around on the
spot furiously. “Lauren!” “Yeah?” Lauren asked knowingly,
enjoying the sound of Camila’s deep raspy chuckle which
conflicted massively with the tone of annoyance in her voice in
regards to the unrelenting attack. “Yeah?” Camila asked, her voice
rising in disbelief as she tried to turn around and face Lauren
whose hands were still prodding at her sides. Lauren felt Camila’s
hands on top of her own and the smaller girl held them in her
grasp, trying to pull them away from her body so that she could
escape her girlfriend’s hold. “Nah uh,” Lauren said trying to hold
firm whilst ignoring the painful complaint from her ribs. “I don’t
think so…” “Stop it!” Camila laughed, finally managing to turn
around so that she was looking at Lauren who had instantly
dropped her hands to her girlfriends’ stomach again to resume
her incessant tickling. Camila stepped back in an attempt to
escape Lauren’s uncompromising fingers and collided with the
display behind her noisily. She reached one of her hands down to
steady herself against the wooden unit and Lauren took the
opportunity to step even closer to her girlfriend, pushing their
 bodies together. “I can’t believe you!” Camila complained,
reaching her hands up to push against Lauren’s chest, trying to get
some space between them, her body still contorting in her
discomfort.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 5/16 “You deserve it,” Lauren told her
smiling broadly and giggling as she repeated Camila’s sentiment
from a few minutes ago. “I deserve…” Camila started to argue, but
Lauren cut her off by leaning forward and kissing her firmly on the
lips instead, her hands no longer tickling Camila’s abdomen but
resting on her sides, over her ribs. Lauren smiled against Camila’s
lips for a moment before separating their mouths and she leant
back in order to study her girlfriend’s face. Camila swallowed
forcefully with her eyes fixed on Lauren’s and then coughed
almost immediately in response to the reflex, the action
accidentally causing a lungful of air to rush in to her oesophagus
and be rejected quickly again. “God, what the…” Camila started to
grumble again but Lauren, already knowing the easiest, quickest
and most enjoyable way to stop her connected their lips once
more and wasted no time in deepening it further on the second
go. Lauren knew that she’d finally won when she felt Camila open
her mouth to receive her tongue, the smaller girl sucking on it
pleasurably and leaning forward in to the kiss, her hands sliding
down from their defensive position on Lauren’s chest to the
brunette’s lower back. The knowledge of her triumph at the front
 of her mind, Lauren pulled her head back sharply, a smirk on her
face which both annoyed and entertained Camila all at once. “Yes,
you deserved that.” Lauren said answering Camila’s incomplete
question from earlier and broadening her grin so that it’s
prominence on her face could not be missed. “You’re a pain in my
ass Cabello,” she told her amused, pushing against Camila’s chest
gently so that she stumbled back a little. “Or should I say, my
side?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow and stepping backwards.
“I’ll just… wait for you outside.” Lauren told her as Camila
continued to look at her stunned. Camila watched her leave and
when her senses finally came back to her, she realised that she
wasn’t the only one, a number of the other customers in the store
also gazing after her, some smiling in amusement, some raising
questioning eyebrows and others evidently unimpressed with the
display. She felt her face flush as the eyes of those who had been
watching Lauren leave now returned to her and she spun around
quickly to avoid their glances. Camila crouched down swiftly to
pick up the book she’d dropped on the floor and almost
accidentally hit her head on the display cabinet as a result of how
flustered she felt by the whole situation. About five minutes later,
Camila left the shop with a newly purchased book of sheet music
which she’d chosen and found Lauren standing outside, leaning
against the front window casually, reading something on her
phone. “Have I told you that you’re really annoying?” Camila
asked her without announcing her presence and Lauren lifted her
eyes from her phone to look at her girlfriend. “Actually I think you
might have mentioned it earlier.” Lauren answered, pushing the
button on the top of her phone and sliding it into the back of her
jeans. “Well,” Camila said, “just in case I didn’t make it clear I’m
going to say it again.” Lauren watched Camila expectantly but she
didn’t say anything else. “Well aren’t you going to say it?” Lauren
asked, grinning, and Camila rolled her eyes and started to walk
off. “Babe?” Lauren called after her. “You know you’re going the
wrong way right?” she queried and Lauren saw Camila stop in her
tracks, her head turning to look up and down the mall, evidently
disorientated again. “The multiplex is that way,” Lauren said
pointing in the right direction when Camila’s eyes fell on her
again. “Right,” Camila said indifferently. “I knew that.” She said
spinning round on the spot and walking away in the other
direction. “You’re welcome!” she called after her again and
Camila turned to face her annoyed. “So are you coming or what?”
she asked holding up her arms expectantly. “I don’t know,”
Lauren replied, pushing off the store window with her hands and
moving towards Camila at a disturbingly slow pace. “I might…”
she mused. When she finally caught up to her, Camila shoved her
hard in the shoulder and Lauren laughed at the abuse.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 6/16 “Ugh, I fucking hate you sometimes,”
Camila groaned blithely, her features warm despite her words. “I
know. It’s great isn’t it?” Lauren returned, stepping forward and
 kissing Camila on the forehead above her scar, her lips lingering
there for a moment. “If possible Ithink Ifind you ten times more
attractive when you’re irritated.” She mused and Camila crinkled
her brow frustrated. “Also, please feel free to swear more often.
It’s kind of hot.” “Fuck you.” Camila said lifting an eyebrow and
Lauren studied their surroundings. “Maybe not here,” she said
making a face and Camila shook her head, a reflexive smile
appearing on her own. “You’re an asshole.” Camila told her
through her chuckle and Lauren appeared to consider her
girlfriends’ words. “Maybe,” she agreed, “but I’m an asshole that
distracted you from being annoyed at yourself by making you
annoyed with me.” Lauren told her. “God, why do I even love
you? You…you…shithead,” Camila cursed and Lauren smiled
brightly at the sound of the profanity. Lauren leant forward, her
hand finding its way round to Camila’s back as she kissed her on
the lips briefly. “Come on,” Lauren said, taking hold of Camila’s
free hand and leading her in the direction of the cinema. “We’ll
miss the movie if we stand around here all day.” “Wait, aren’t you
going to say that you love me?” Camila asked as they walked
together hand in hand. “No,” Lauren replied and Camila pouted
instantly before the taller girl even had a chance to continue.
“Something so obvious doesn’t need saying.” She finished and
Camila leant in to her side, pleased by the words. “Ok, you’re
forgiven,” Camila told her and Lauren felt her girlfriend’s small
hand escape from her own and wrap around her waist
 protectively. “Good,” Lauren said, “you had me worried there for
a moment.” “I did not,” Camila responded knowingly and Lauren
affirmed her words with the silent look she gave her as they
continued on towards their destination. They walked together the
rest of the way in silence and when they finally reached the
multiplex, Camila bought the tickets for the next showing of the
movie they’d planned to watch and wandered back over to
Lauren who was sitting down at a seat nearby waiting for her.
“We’ve got about fifteen minutes until we can go in.” Camila said,
fiddling with the tickets in her hands for a moment before sticking
them in her purse out of the way. “You know you really didn’t
have to buy the tickets,” Lauren told her seriously as Camila
dropped in to the seat beside her. “I can pay for myself. You really
don’t owe me anything because you left earlier to see Dinah.” “I
know,” Camila said, reaching across and taking Lauren’s hand
which had been resting in her lap. “I wanted to though.” She
admitted. “I want to buy your popcorn too,” she went on, her
eyes fixed on their hands as her fingers caressed Lauren’s skin
soothingly, “and your soda.” She continued finally lifting her eyes
to meet the stark green of her girlfriend’s. “Then I want to buy
you dinner later and kiss you goodnight when it’s time to go
home. That way you’ll have sweet dreams.” “I always have sweet
dreams because they’re always about you” Lauren told her and
Camila smiled at the compliment. “You always buy me things
though,” Lauren said, not ungrateful but just stating a fact.
 “You’re always giving me gifts, or organising romantic picnics on
the beach and surprise dates down the batting cages.” She
recalled. “Um, you bought me a puppy,” Camila said simply,
feeling that her comment trumped any argument Lauren could
make. “Yeah, but with your parents,” Lauren told her, apparently
disagreeing with Camila’s assumption. “Besides, you bought me a
promise ring.” “You know if we’re keeping score I also bought you
a necklace.” Camila laughed. “Exactly!” Lauren said, as if Camila
had made her point for her. “You did.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 7/16 “You got me tickets to see Taylor Swift
and Ed Sheeran” Camila reminded her. “So, I figure that it all
works out in the end.” Camila glanced back down at their hands
for a moment, her expression thoughtful. “I like buying you
presents,” Camila confessed after a pause. “I like organising
surprise dates and taking you out for dinner. It feels nice to do
things for you.” She said, rubbing at her head for a moment with
her free hand. “It makes me feel good to see you happy and I love
feeling like that so, would you just let me pay for your damn
popcorn?” she asked. “I promise you that I’ll only eat a little bit of
it.” She joked, her eyes meeting Lauren’s again, looking amused.
Lauren studied Camila and she could see that it wasn’t just lip
service. She could see that she really meant the words that she
was saying and Lauren found herself smiling happily as a result.
“Fine,” Lauren agreed. “You can buy me some popcorn. Large.”
She requested, winking at her. “You say you’ll only eat a little but
you’re forgetting that I know what your appetite is like Camz.”
“Sweet or salty?” Camila asked her. “Sweet like you,” Lauren said
easily and Camila laughed. “Smooth,” she chuckled and Lauren
reached her free hand up to rest on the side of her face. “Ilove
your laugh.” Lauren told her. “Just my laugh?” Camila asked, her
own hand reaching up to sit on top of Lauren’s. “Your laugh,”
Lauren repeated, her hand stroking Camila’s temple lightly,
brushing the hair there out of the way. “Your eyes,” she said
smiling unconsciously, her thumb tracing across Camila’s left
eyebrow, “your lips,” she continued, kissing Camila on the lips
quickly. “I love your scars,” Lauren told her as she lifted her hand
up to the visible scar on Camila’s forehead and caressed it
delicately. “Ilove everything about you.” Camila reached a hand
up and rubbed Lauren’s upper arm. “Do you want Cola or
something else to go with your popcorn?” Camila asked her.
“You’re not going to tell me you love me?” Lauren asked her.
“No,” Camila replied the corners of her mouth upturned in to a
smile. “Something so obvious doesn’t need saying.” She mocked
and Lauren rolled her eyes. “Now who’s an asshole?” she asked
and Camila seemed to consider the question for a moment. “It’s
still you.” Camila answered, releasing Lauren’s hand and standing
up. “Why do you date me if I’m such an asshole?” Lauren asked
her smiling. “I don’t know,” Camila said, casting a quick look in the
direction of the concession line. “You’re alright to look at I guess.”
She shrugged. “Beggars can’t be choosers though. I was either you
or my imaginary best friend Raphael…” “Imaginary best friend?”
Lauren asked, her brow lifting with interest. “Yeah, we met on my
imaginary school field trip to Mars.” Camila told her. “Mars the
planet?” Lauren questioned. “Right,” Camila replied simply. “So
what happened?” Lauren probed amused. “Did he run away with
some other girl?” “No,” Camila said sadly, feigning hurt. “Turns
out he wasn’t actually real. Who knew?” “You’re such a fucking
dork,” Lauren told her. “Yeah, well you’re an asshole so I guess
that makes us a perfect match.” Camila teased and Lauren leant
forward to hit her playfully in the gut. Camila bent over at the
contact and frowned at her for a moment. “Asshole,” she
commented goodnaturedly before heading over to the
concessions stand to purchase a beverage and popcorn for the
movie. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trials-
andtribulationschapter61 8/16 Lauren watched her go and took
the opportunity to shamelessly stare at her girlfriends’ buttocks as
she made her way across the foyer, only lifting her gaze from its
current position when she felt her phone vibrate in her back
pocket. Lauren retrieved the small device and looked at the
screen, noting the cause of the alert to be a Facebook message
from Clare. Lauren opened it and smiled at the content. “Oi
Lauren! How fucking rude are you? So you added me as a friend
on here and… well, that’s cool I guess….but seriously…I thought
we were going to go out with your badass girlfriend and the rest
of your gang? So…where’s my invite? Is it lost in the post with my
fucking Hogwarts letter? I’ve been waiting on that thing for ages!
Anyway, don’t be a douchebag, I promise you I’m not a
psychopath…at least I don’t think I am but you can never be too
sure about these things I suppose…anyway, I have news on the
redhead from my softball team. Apparently, she’s not gay,
but…well, we definitely kissed a couple of nights ago so I think
that makes her at least bisexual right? I mean, it was in my dream
but like, that still counts doesn’t it? Anyway, fuck you for not
contacting me. I’m too gangster for you to hang out with anyway.
P.S. Only joking. I’m literally dying because I need a cool group of
friends to hang out with so you better get in touch *sits in the
corner crying*” “Here we go,” Camila said, pulling Lauren’s
attention away from her phone and back up to her. She was
standing in front of Lauren, a bag of popcorn in one hand and a
drink in the other. “You didn’t drop the popcorn?” Lauren
laughed, putting her phone back in her pocket. “No, of course
not.” Camila said, handing Lauren the bag whilst keeping hold of
their drink. “I don’t waste food Lauren. I’m more likely to spill the
drink.” “Maybe we should switch then?” Lauren suggested and
Camila lifted the cup to her mouth and took a sip of the Cola
through the straw. “Where’s the fun in that?” Camila asked,
offering Lauren her other hand which she took gladly. Camila
pulled Lauren on to her feet and they made their way over
towards the screen where the movie was playing to wait for
 admittance. “Hey Camz, do you remember Clare?” Lauren asked,
her fingers playing with Camila’s mindlessly as they stood in line.
“Your exgirlfriend?” Camila asked her. “We weren’t girlfriends.”
Lauren stated simply and Camila met her eyes, sucking another
draw out measure of drink from the cup in her hand. “Mistress
then?” Camila joked, her teeth biting the straw out of habit.
Lauren hit her arm playfully, creasing up her face disapprovingly.
“Pimp?” Camila continued in jest. “Friend,” Lauren said in an
attempt to stop her. “Oh, the makeout buddy from summer
camp” Camila went on regardless enjoying herself. “Ok, so you
remember her.” Lauren acknowledged, sighing. “Let me see,”
Camila said, lowering the cup. “Hot, funny, annoyingly
likeable….yeah, of course I remember her.” “Are you jealous of
her?” Lauren asked surprised at Camila’s words. “Normani and
Ally said that you were but I didn’t believe them.” “I’m not
jealous,” Camila replied putting on a slight front. “You’re totally
jealous of her.” Lauren realised. “Not of her.” Camila defended.
“Just…I’m maybe like, a little bit jealous of the time that you spent
together that’s all.” “What?” Lauren asked looking confused.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 9/16 “Nothing.” Camila said evasively,
chewing on the straw of their drink again as a distraction. “What
about her?” Lauren narrowed her eyes, making a note to talk to
Camila properly about what she’d said later on but decided to let
it drop for now. “Well, I kind of said that we’d meet up.” Lauren
 told her and Camila didn’t move her eyes from her girlfriend’s,
instead holding them meaningfully. “Ok,” Camila said non-
committedly shrugging. “Ok?” Lauren asked her. “So you’re happy
if we do?” “Sure,” Camila answered, sounding uncertain despite
her best efforts. “She’s your friend right? So, why would it be a
problem?” “I didn’t think that it would be after you were so
adamant that I apologised to her for the way I’d reacted to her in
the diner but I thought I’d just check before I arranged anything,”
Lauren replied. “No, it’s fine.” Camila said stepping forward as the
line moved. “Great, well I was thinking about talking to the rest of
the girls and arranging something for next Wednesday.” Lauren
shared. “The rest of the girls?” Camila asked, clearly not following
Lauren’s meaning. “Yeah,” Lauren told her. “Clare was hoping to
get to know you all so I thought I’d invite Ally and the others as
well.” “Wait, I’m coming?” Camila asked evidently lost. “I thought
you were just going to meet up with her alone?” “No,” Lauren
said, chuckling softly at Camila’s misunderstanding. “She
suggested that all of us meet. That way it wouldn’t be weird or
anything.” “Oh,” Camila said, feeling a little bit better about the
whole thing at this revelation. “Ok then, yeah that could be fun.”
“So I can arrange something?” Lauren asked, not needing Camila’s
approval but wanting it. “Yeah,” Camila said nodding her head as
they stepped forward in the line again. “Go for it.” “Thanks,”
Lauren smiled, kissing Camila on the side of her head as she took
another sip of their drink. “For what?” Camila asked her as Lauren
lifted her hand from around Camila’s free one and tucked a strand
of hair behind her ear, the long dark curl falling loose as she’d
dropped her head to have a drink. “Just, thanks.” Lauren
responded as Camila handed her the drink to take and retrieved
the tickets from her purse in order to present them to the usher.
Camila put her purse away and held out her hand for Lauren to
give her back something to hold but the taller girl shook her head.
“Don’t take this the wrong way Camz but I don’t trust you to walk
through the dark carrying these after the last time…” “Dinah
nudged me!” Camila protested, remembering how she’d spilt her
drink over Normani last time they’d come to the cinema as a
group. “Really?” Lauren asked, holding out the drink uncertainly
for Camila to take as they stepped forward out of the line and
towards the screen. “Ok, maybe I tripped.” Camila admitted,
smiling brightly and sticking out her tongue between her teeth.
“You want to take this?” Lauren asked shaking the cup and Camila
shook her head. “No, you can hold it.” Camila relented. “I’ll just
hold on to you.” As she said it Camila linked her hands around
Lauren’s bent left elbow and they walked together into the
darkened cinema screen, finding seats in the middle of the back
row and descending in to them to settle down.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 10/16 Lauren placed the drink in to the
holder in the arm of the chair and reached her now free hand
over to take hold of Camila’s, her fingers manipulating her
 girlfriend’s subconsciously as she picked popcorn out of the bag
and ate it hungrily. The pair of them sat through the trailers in
silence, Camila’s small hand darting across the arm of the chair to
pick up handfuls of popcorn until the bag was almost half empty.
“Oh my God Camz,” Lauren laughed, her voice low so as not to
disturb the other patrons. “You’ve almost eaten half the bag and
the movie hasn’t even started yet.” “I’m hungry,” Camila
grumbled, pouting. “Besides, you’ve been eating it too. It wasn’t
just me.” “Maybe I’ll just put this to one side for a minute until the
movie actually starts.” Lauren suggested, placing the bag on to
the floor beside her, the back row empty aside from themselves
and the theatre relatively deserted, a few faceless people dotted
around it in small clusters here and there. “Lauren,” Camila
protested as the movies certificate appeared on the screen.
“Come on. That’s not fair. What am I supposed to do with my
mouth now?” she asked turning her attention to the screen for a
moment where the production companies were now flashing
across it informatively. “Well, you could shut it,” Lauren suggested
whispering, astutely aware of the people around them. “I’ll give it
back to you in a minute.” “I’m hungry now though.” Camila
complained, leaning closer to Lauren and trying to reach across
her lap to pick the bag up again. Lauren leant forward amused at
Camila’s failing attempt and moved the bag slightly further out of
her grasp, her mouth pretending to bite at Camila’s arm for a
moment before she sat back up again. Camila straightened up and
 frowned dramatically at Lauren’s cruelness before leaning across
her lap again and trying once more to retrieve the popcorn.
“Camz,” Lauren hissed under her breath, the small girl leaning so
far over her lap that she was almost laying across it. Lauren
thought that if her girlfriend wasn’t careful she ran the very real
risk of falling out of the chair and on to her head. “Just wait for
five minutes and then I’ll give it back to you.” Lauren reassured
her. “I can’t,” Camila said, her arm stretching out as far as possible
and still not quite reaching the bag. “Jesus,” Lauren laughed under
her breath trying to stay quiet. “You could stand up you know…”
“No, it involves too much effort.” Camila said simply and Lauren
raised an eyebrow, shaking her head. From where she was sitting
right now, Camila’s current attempt looked far more effortful than
standing up ever could. “Shit,” Camila groaned and Lauren arched
her neck to look over her girlfriend at the bag of popcorn which
was now lying on its side, the remaining contents spilled all over
the floor. “Now look what you made me do,” she said, sitting back
up a little and turning her head to look up at Lauren. “Don’t blame
me for that,” Lauren whispered as Camila pushed herself back up
and returned fully to her seat, looking visibly upset by the
popcorns unexpected demise. “I told you to wait.” Camila sighed
dramatically and crossed her arms over her chest, her bottom lip
jutting out exaggeratedly in a pout. “Aww, don’t be like that,”
Lauren told her, tapping the end of Camila’s nose playfully, the
smaller girl smiling despite herself. “We’ve still got the movie to
 enjoy,” she encouraged, although, they were already a few
minutes in and in all honesty, Lauren had no idea what was going
on. She’d been so distracted by Camila’s attempts to reach the
popcorn that she’d not been paying attention to anything
happening on screen.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 11/16 “Fine,” Camila said as she uncrossed
her arms and reached her hand out for Lauren’s, taking hold of it
in a silent request for her girlfriend to continue with her usual
habit. Lauren acquiesced almost immediately, caressing the back
of Camila’s hand with her thumb and leaning closer to her
girlfriend’s side. They sat for a few minutes in silence, Lauren
trying to concentrate on the movie, to catch up with the plot but
every so often she’d catch Camila casting quick discreet glances at
the spilled popcorn on the floor. “Camz,” Lauren whispered in to
the smaller girls ear, twisting in her seat slightly, “if you’re hungry
why don’t you just go and get some more.” “I can’t be bothered
to get up,” Camila admitted honestly, the hair on the back of her
neck standing up in response to Lauren’s hot breath against her
skin. “I’ll probably fall flat on my face it’s so dark in here.” Camila
turned her body in order to look at Lauren who was still hovering
close to her ear, ready to whisper in to it again and she felt her
stomach flutter at the proximity of Lauren’s lips to her own. She
dropped her eyes to them hungrily for a moment before meeting
Lauren’s eyes and she bit her own bottom lip between her teeth
 meaningfully. Lauren smiled at Camila, a soft, seductive smile
which made the smaller girls’ heart skip a beat in her chest.
“Camz…” Lauren started almost inaudibly as she tried, and failed,
to break eye contact with her girlfriend, knowing the look in
Camila’s eyes. “Please?” Camila asked, moving her lips so close to
Lauren’s that she could practically already taste them. “Just one
kiss?” Lauren shook her head and submitted to Camila’s demand,
connecting their lips in a delicate kiss but, finding herself
disappointed when she felt Camila try to separate them again. She
reached her hand up to the back of Camila’s neck and pulled her
girlfriend closer to her, preventing her from moving, silently
encouraging her to continue and to deepen the kiss. Lauren felt
Camila smile against her mouth and she traced her bottom lip
with her tongue so that Lauren opened her mouth to allow it
access. However, rather than accepting Lauren’s invitation, Camila
showed enormous restraint and refused to engage her tongue
with her girlfriend’s, instead moving her mouth down to suck on
the spot where Lauren’s neck met her jaw. Lauren arched her
head back, exposing more of her neck for Camila to pleasure with
her mouth and the smaller girl disengaged her hand from Lauren’s
and moved it to rest on the brunette’s side, just beside her breast,
her fingers brushing lightly against the fabric of Lauren’s shirt as
her other hand came to sit on her shoulder. Lauren sat up in her
chair a bit more, surprised to find that her ribs didn’t hurt beneath
Camila’s gentle touch and her now free hand moved to sit on
 Camila’s hip where her pelvis was rotated awkwardly. Camila
bought her mouth back up to take hold of Lauren’s, this time
wasting no time in combatting with her girlfriend’s tongue,
sucking on it periodically, teasing her. Camila dropped the hand
that was on Lauren’s shoulder down to her waist and pushed up
her shirt so that she could stroke her stomach skilfully with her
fingertip, continuing to kiss her throughout, Lauren’s own fingers
gripping on to the hair on the back of her neck tightly in response
to her pleasure. Lauren felt Camila’s other hand join its
counterpart beneath her shirt and the two of them started
wandering her torso as the smaller girl gently bit on Lauren’s lip,
pulling it back a little as she moved her head. Lauren was barely
aware of what was happening before she felt Camila release it
and move her mouth quickly back down to her neck, her tongue
tracing a line upwards towards her ear. Lauren tilted her head to
allow Camila better access and on arriving at her destination,
Camila sucked lightly on the spot just below Lauren’s jaw. “Fuck,”
Lauren breathed out quietly as Camila’s hand moved up her side,
her mouth still kissing Lauren’s neck, sucking on it enjoyably, her
tongue teasing the skin beneath it. Camila smiled and then
nibbled playfully at the spot she’d been so intent on only seconds
before, her teeth grazing the flesh carefully for a moment before
she sat back. It took a moment for Lauren to open her eyes and
look at Camila but when she did, all she was greeted with was a
smirk like none she’d ever seen on her girlfriend’s face before and
 she had a sudden flashback to the way that she’d messed with
Camila in the music store earlier and knew she’d been played.
Camila took her hands back from when
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 12/16 they sat on Lauren’s torso and turned
forward to face the screen, sitting back in her seat, her grin so
luminous it would practically light up the whole room if it were
physically able. “You’re such a jerk,” Lauren muttered under her
breath, sitting back in her own chair as Camila reached over to
take the cup of Cola in her hand and take a quick sip of it, her eyes
darting across to Lauren who looked seriously unamused. Camila
placed the cup back in the holder and stretched her hand across
the arm rest to search blindly for Lauren’s. When she found it,
Camila tried to take it in her own but Lauren moved it stubbornly
and Camila laughed lightly, the sound making Lauren’s stomach
respond in its usual fashion. Camila moved her hand, following
Lauren’s wherever she redirected it until finally she succeeded in
trapping it in her grasp. She pulled it over to her with difficulty,
Lauren making her work for every inch until Camila tugged on it
firmly and bought it to her lips, kissing the greeneyed girls’
knuckles with her lips and then biting them cautiously. Lauren
jerked her hand back and Camila released it amused but
unknowingly allowed Lauren the opportunity to use it in order to
shove her firmly in the shoulder. “Oh, come on don’t be grumpy,”
Camila whispered, leaning over the arm of the chair closer to
 Lauren. “You started all this remember?” “Yeah, but it was fun
when I did it,” Lauren said, trying to fight the smile that was
threatening to break out on her face. “When you do it it’s just
annoying.” “It’s because I’m so good at it,” Camila said
immodestly and Lauren bit her bottom lip, trying to suppress her
amusement, the corners of her mouth lifting despite her best
efforts. Camila reached over and picked up Lauren’s hand again.
“Truce?” she asked and Lauren seemed to take an eternity
weighing up the alternatives before finally relenting and nodding
her head. “Fine, truce,” she whispered back quietly, allowing
Camila to lift her hand across the divide and in to her lap. Lauren
shuffled closer to Camila, and dropped her head on to her
girlfriend’s shoulder, snuggling against her as best as she could in
the current environment. Camila passed Lauren’s hand in to her
left one and moved her right arm so that it was draped behind
Lauren’s shoulders, her hand coming to settle on the taller girls
shoulder. Camila kissed the top of Lauren’s head and they finally
settled down to watch the movie, both completely oblivious to
anything that had transpired in it until that point. It was about
half an hour later when Camila felt Lauren’s hand wriggle free of
hers and settle in her lap and initially she thought nothing of it,
her mind otherwise preoccupied with the events unfolding on the
screen in front of her. It was only when she felt Lauren’s hand
slide in between her legs over her jeans that she sat up tall, her
head snapping round to look at her girlfriend whose attention was
 fixed firmly on the movie. “Lauren,” Camila breathed out, her
tone low and quiet. “What are you doing?” “Nothing,” Lauren
answered mischievously, not taking her eyes off the screen, her
fingers beginning to rub at Camila’s centre confidently. Camila
grabbed hold of Lauren’s wrist, stopping it, the space between her
legs growing warmer with the lingering contact of her girlfriend’s
hand upon it. “That’s not nothing,” Camila whispered and Lauren
finally turned her head to meet her eyes. “Ithought we’d called a
truce?” “We did,” Lauren agreed, her hand starting to work again
when Camila had relaxed her grasp on Lauren’s wrist. “So what
are you doing?” Camila asked her, tightening her hold again and
causing Lauren to stop, her core aching with desire, her body
betraying logic for lust. “Nothing,” Lauren whispered in response
again, tilting her head up and kissing under Camila’s jaw, trailing
her mouth down towards her girlfriend’s collar bone. “Lauren…”
Camila said, lifting the hand that hand been holding on to
Lauren’s wrist up to try and push her back slightly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 13/16 “Are you saying that you want me to
stop?” Lauren mumbled against Camila’s neck and she moved her
now free hand up higher, slipping it swiftly beneath both her
girlfriend’s jeans and her underwear. “Shit,” Camila hissed under
her breath as Lauren quickly began to move her hand up and
down against Camila’s middle, her fingers gliding easily in the
dampness beneath them. “No,” Camila managed to express as
 Lauren moved her mouth into the hollow of her girlfriend’s neck
and sucked on it. “You don’t want me to stop?” Lauren muttered,
her lips tickling Camila’s neck. “No,” Camila exhaled, her hand
moving down to fiddle with the button at the top of her jeans. She
struggled with it for a moment and finally managed to release it,
offering Lauren more freedom to move her hand. “Ok,” Lauren
said, sitting up a little and bringing her mouth over Camila’s, her
hand still moving rhythmically in place, Camila’s hips lifting off the
seat in response to the stimulation. Lauren felt her ribs protest at
the amount of rotation in her trunk so she shifted the position of
her hips in her chair to remove some of the tension in her
muscles. She deepened the kiss, enjoying the taste of Camila’s
mouth in her own, her tongue flicking in and out of her
girlfriend’s, her lips sucking on Camila’s bottom word as her hand
continued to work furiously. Camila tipped her head back, her
hips pushing forward in to Lauren’s hand and the taller girl heard
the small moan escape Camila’s lips despite her best efforts to
subdue it. Camila tilted her head forward again and pressed her
lips against Lauren’s jaw for a moment, giving it only a moment of
attention before craving Lauren’s mouth on her own again. Camila
lifted her chin up and crashed her lips against Lauren’s, her hand
reaching up to pull the other girls’ face against hers harder by
pulling on the base of her skull. “Babe,” Lauren said, her mouth
escaping Camila’s for a moment as the smaller girl’s breath caught
in her throat, her body tensing up, Lauren winding her up as
 tightly as a closely sprung coil. Camila released a short, sharp
breath, the rest of the oxygen trapped in her lungs as her muscles
decided how to release it effectively. Lauren’s hand continued to
move, rubbing against Camila’s flesh, her hand coated in her
girlfriend’s moist warmth, her fingers sliding easily in it, sleek in
the damp. Camila attempted to reconnect her mouth with
Lauren’s but at the precise moment that she did, her back arched
up and away from the seat, her neck extending back. “Shh…”
Lauren warned her quietly, reaching up her free hand to cover
Camila’s mouth for a moment as she bent her neck forward once
more. Lauren quickly took Camila’s lips in her own and she kissed
her deeply, her hand pressing in to her dampness more firmly.
She felt Camila shudder and the smaller girl exhaled against her
mouth, all the tension escaping her body in a rush as she sagged
into the chair, accepting the base of support gladly. Lauren
removed her hand from where it had been busily occupied and
moved it up to rest on Camila’s stomach as she leant forward and
kissed Camila again on the lips, the other girl finally opening her
eyes to meet Lauren’s piercing green orbs, her pupils dilated.
“What was that for?” Camila managed to gasp out, breathless.
“No reason,” Lauren answered, claiming her mouth once again
and drawing on it pleasingly, her lips curving up in to a smile as
she released it again. “Ijust wanted to.” Camila connected their
lips again and moved her hand over the divide to reciprocate the
favour but she pulled it back quickly and pressed the heel of it
 into her chest, the sharp pain from earlier returning just as
suddenly and unexpectedly as it had done before. “Are you
alright?” Lauren asked softly, noticing the grimace on Camila’s
face when she opened her eyes to investigate the unexpected
absence of her girlfriend’s lips from hers, Camila having retreated
away from Lauren in her discomfort. “Does your chest hurt?” she
continued to whisper.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 14/16 “It’s nothing,” Camila reassured her,
the pain dissipating again, her knuckles kneading at her sternum.
“Are you sure?” Lauren asked. “It’s not the first time you’ve had
pain in it…” Camila kissed Lauren again to allay her fears, the
gesture seemingly working and bought her hand back over
towards Lauren’s lap. “No,” Lauren said seriously, her hand
stopping Camila’s in its track. “That’s ok.” “You don’t want me
to…” Camila started but Lauren kissed her, cutting her off. “No,”
she told her softly, brushing her cheek with her thumb for a
moment before snuggling back against Camila’s chest. “Not
today.” “Ok,” Camila said a little confused. She reached her arm
around Lauren’s shoulder, wincing slightly in discomfort, her chest
aching still. Camila felt Lauren fiddle with the button on her jeans,
doing it back up and then her hand moved up to rest against her
sternum, the other one seeking out her other hand and taking
hold of it. “I just wanted to do something for you,” Lauren said
quietly, tracing small circles in the palm of Camila’s hand. “I don’t
need it returned. Not right now anyway. You can owe me.” Camila
smiled amused. “Ok,” she said, kissing the top of Lauren’s head
and turning her attention back to the screen again, Lauren
wrapped up in her arms. Camila and Lauren watched the rest of
the movie, completely unaware of what had happened for most
of it and when it had finally finished they stood up, hand in hand
and made their way outside. “Lauren!” the brunette heard
someone call after her and she and Camila both turned in the
direction of the owner of the voice surprised to find Ally and
Normani exiting the same cinema screen they’d just emerged
from. “Hi,” Lauren said, appearing confused. “Ithought you
weren’t going to come and see it.” “Not with you we weren’t,”
Normani said laughing. “I still wanted to see it though. What did
you think?” she asked. Lauren met Ally’s gaze and the smaller girl
raised an eyebrow knowingly, apparently aware that she’d not
been paying attention somehow. “It was good,” Lauren lied and
she felt her cheeks flush brightly at the look Ally was giving her.
“You liked it right Camz?” she asked her girlfriend, trying to avoid
Ally’s eyes and deflecting the attention away from her. “It was
alright,” Camila answered, completely oblivious to Lauren’s
discomfort. “Just alright?” Ally asked her, the insinuation clear to
Lauren but missed entirely by Camila. “Yeah,” Camila said and
Lauren saw Ally’s smirk, her eyes finding Lauren’s again. “I kind of
agree with Camila,” Normani said and Lauren realised that her
other friend obviously knew nothing about her and Camila’s antics
in the back row of the theatre. “It was alright but it wasn’t one of
her better movies.” “It was a bit anticlimactic,” Ally mused turning
her attention to Lauren. “I mean, I’ve seen better endings,” she
said significantly and Lauren thought she might die right then and
there she was so embarrassed. “What are you guys doing now?”
Normani asked Lauren and Camila interestedly. “We were going
to get something to eat,” Camila answered, looking at Ally and
Lauren. “Do you guys want to come?” “Is that alright?” Normani
questioned seeking approval from Lauren who nodded her head.
“Yeah, of course.” Lauren assured her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/70951263780/trialsand-
tribulationschapter61 15/16 “Jimmy’s?” Ally asked. “I’ve got the
car so I can drive.” “Ok,” Lauren said awkwardly. “Can I go to the
restroom first?” Camila asked. “I need to wash my hands.” “I’ll
come with you,” Normani said, “I really need to pee.” “You don’t
need to wash your hands Lo?” Ally asked smirking as the other
two disappeared in the direction of the toilets. “Oh God,” Lauren
groaned, extending her neck, her hands hanging loosely by her
sides. “Kill me now.” She said, spinning around to follow after the
others, the sound of Ally’s amused laugh following her all the way
to the bathroom, taunting her.
Chapter 62
A/N: So this is massively a filler chapter with a lot of information
which will come up again at a later point in the story but is
relatively important. So, sorry it’s not more interesting but, the
 warning is here so don’t read it if that’s not your thing J x “I can’t
believe you!” Normani complained in disbelief as she sat on
Lauren’s kitchen counter. Her legs were hanging freely in front of
her as she watched Lauren pull out a number of large bowls from
the kitchen cupboard in preparation for their regular Wednesday
night movie marathon. “Why am I only just finding out about this
now?” she asked surprised that she’d not been privy to the
information sooner. Lauren stood up from where she’d been
crouched and placed the bowls on top of the kitchen counter,
turning to face Normani whilst wearing a mildly disgruntled look.
“You wouldn’t have found out about it at all if it hadn’t have been
for Ally,” Lauren answered, her tone stern as she made a move to
the opposite side of the kitchen and opened another cupboard.
She reached inside and removed a couple of bags of potato chips
and some microwavable popcorn as she continued. “Do you really
think I’d go around advertising what happened?” Lauren asked
her, depositing the chips on the counter beside her friend and
moving over to the microwave in order to make the popcorn.
Lauren removed the outer layer of plastic and opened the
machine, flinging the bag inside and setting the timer for three
minutes. “Well I’d like to hope that you wouldn’t,” Normani
replied lightly, “I do not need to be hearing about that kind of
thing thank you very much. What Camila and you get up to is your
own damn business. I actually kind of wish I’d never asked you
what Ally’s comments were referring to now.” “Well, let that be a
 lesson to you,” Lauren laughed. “If I look like I’m keeping
something from you or I’m being evasive then there’s probably a
very good reason.” “You can’t blame a girl for being curious!”
Normani responded, “Ally has been making weird comments all
week and Ithought I was missing out on something. Turns out that
I was…Ijust…I mean, I didn’t know that I should be grateful for it,
that’s all.” She finished shrugging. “In my defence,” Lauren
started, turning around to retrieve the bag of popcorn, the
microwave pinging off as the timer finished. “I didn’t know you
guys were in there.” Lauren told her pointedly as she moved
across the kitchen and undid the bag, emptying the contents of it
in to one of the bowls. “I know but still,” Normani said after a
moment, a disapproving look on her face. “You were at the
movies. I mean, it’s a public place Lo. You should have known
there’d be a risk that someone would see you.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 2/14 “Ok so maybe I made a mistake,”
Lauren acknowledged, an amused grin on her face. “Maybe you
made a mistake?” Normani chuckled. “Maybe Like, you’re
questioning it?” “I’m not going to apologise for getting intimate
with my girlfriend.” Lauren responded walking back over to
Normani and picking up the bags of chips from beside her. “I
admit that perhaps the location wasn’t the best but it’s not like
Camz and I can do anything here…” “I can’t believe that your mom
caught the two of you out,” Normani laughed again, enjoying her
 friends’ predicament, the other girl having finally caught her up
with everything that had been going on with her. “You guys
seriously can’t catch a break.” “Can we please just change the
subject?” Lauren groaned, heading back over to the rest of the
bowls and opening up the bags of chips in to them. “I’d really
rather not talk about this sort of thing with you or anyone else for
that matter,” she said her tone becoming more serious. “It’s kind
of personal…” “It stopped being personal when you chose to, I
don’t know,” Normani said, contemplating her next words.
“Pleasure Camila in public.” She finished chortling. Lauren glared
at Normani over her shoulder for a minute. “Besides,” Normani
said after a moment. “You were the one that told me about what
happened.” “Only because you kept asking me questions,” Lauren
reminded her, turning around to face Normani and resting against
the kitchen counter once again. “I only told you so that you’d stop
bugging me.” “Ok, well then I guess we can drop it,” Normani
agreed, sliding down off the counter and walking over to the
other side of the kitchen. She came to a stop in front of a bowl of
chips and reached in to pick one up, depositing it into her mouth
quickly. “Can we at least talk about how much of a pervert Ally is
though?” she asked and Lauren rolled her eyes at the mention of
their other friend. “Ally is a pervert,” Lauren commented shaking
her head. “Was it really necessary for her to watch? Fair enough
she saw us but she could have just…I don’t know, ignored it and
kept on watching the movie instead.” Normani paused for a
 moment, thoughtful. “Maybe she enjoyed it?” she mused aloud
and Lauren made a face at the suggestion. “Oh my God Normani,
eww…” she replied. “Did you really have to go there?” she asked.
“I’d rather not think about that being a possibility.” “Come on,”
Normani said, taking another chip and eating it. “We both know
that despite her height and how innocent she can look at times
Ally is the biggest pervert out of all of us.” “Before last week I
would have disagreed with you,” Lauren said, opening the fridge
and removing a couple of bottles of coke which she then put on
the counter with the rest of the food, “but now I’m not so sure.”
Lauren pointed over towards the cabinet beside Normani. “Hey,
can you grab me six glasses from over there?” she asked her
friend. “Six?” Normani asked, looking confused but stepping over
to the cupboard to do as asked. “Yeah, Clare’s coming over
tonight as well remember?” Lauren asked as Normani opened the
cabinet door and reached in to acquire six glasses. She handed
them back to Lauren one at a time. “Oh right,” Normani said,
drawing out the words meaningfully. “I forgot tonight was going
to be the awkward triple date.” “It’s not a triple date,” Lauren
groaned, “Clare is just a friend.” “Clare is an exgirlfriend,”
Normani said to her. “There is a massive difference no matter
how much you try to deny it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 3/14 “We weren’t girlfriends.” Lauren
defended yet again. “You can say that all you like Lo but the two
 of you were more than just friends even if you didn’t label
yourself as girlfriends. You were intimate weren’t you? I mean,
you kissed and things right?” Normani questioned brining the last
of the glasses over and setting it atop the counter as she turned to
face her friend. “So what?” Lauren said. “That was almost a year
ago now. It was back before I even knew Camz,” she explained. “I
don’t feel that way about Clare anymore.” “I know, I know,”
Normani said with understanding in her voice, “I’m not
questioning your love for Camila but I just find it hard to believe
that you don’t feel at least a little something towards Clare. I
mean, you used to talk about her all the time over the summer.
You’d mention her in all your text messages. You were crushing
on her hard back then Lo. Admit it.” “Maybe I was,” Lauren
acknowledged, “but that was back then Mani. Don’t get me wrong
Clare’s nice, I mean, she’s really nice but she’s not Camz and she
never will be.” “They are kind of alike though,” Normani said
thoughtfully, considering what she’d heard and seen of the two
girls. “No, they’re not,” Lauren disagreed, twisting slightly on the
spot and sliding up on to the counter. She reached in to one of the
bowls of chips and took one hungrily. “They’re nothing alike.” “Oh
please,” Normani said, sliding up onto the counter beside her.
“They’re practically the same person.” “Give me one way that
they are the same,” Lauren urged her, taking another chip. “Well
firstly,” Normani started, lifting up one finger. “They’re both
brunettes.” “Wow,” Lauren responded sarcastically to the
 revelation. “They’re practically twins. How didn’t I see that
before?” “Two and three,” Normani continued ignoring Lauren’s
words and straightening another two fingers. “They’re both smart
and funny.” “You met Clare for like five minutes,” Lauren said
running a hand through her hair before holding it out in front of
her, palm up. “How do you know she’s smart? Or even funny for
that matter?” “You told me she was,” Normani reminded her. “All
I’d ever hear about was how smart and funny Clare was.
Apparently she told the best jokes you’d ever heard in your life.”
Lauren swung her legs back and forth in front of her, her gaze
focused on her hands which sat loosely in her lap. “Camila and
Clare, they’re both easy going and kind right?” Normani
continued, straightening another two fingers. “Yeah and their
names both start with the letter ‘C,’” Lauren said, shrugging and
holding out her arms. “So what?” Lauren asked. “You know I’m
finding it really hard to see what your point is here.” Lauren told
her friend, quickly losing interest in the conversation. “So what if
they have a few things in common, they’re different in other
ways. Clare is in to softball and up until a few weeks ago Camz
didn’t even know the rules. My dad ridiculed her for ages about it
when she came round for dinner afterwards…” “Ok, well let me
put it to you this way,” Normani said. “Clare is basically what I
imagine Camila would have been like before the accident.” “Did
you seriously just say that?” Lauren asked surprised at Normani’s
words. “You can’t see it?” Normani questioned eating another
 chip. “No,” Lauren said assuredly. “Camz is nothing like Clare…I
mean she was nothing like Clare…before…she’s…what are you
even trying to get at?” she asked, feeling slightly irritated. “I’m
just worried that’s all.” Normani admitted honestly. “About me
and Clare?” Lauren asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 4/14 “No,” Normani answered. “About you
and Camila.” “You think I’ll cheat on her?” Lauren questioned.
“After everything that we’ve been through you think I’ll leave her
for Clare? Are you fucking crazy? Ilove Camz.” “I’m just concerned
that by spending more time with Clare you’ll start to realise that
you can have fun and enjoy yourself without all the added
complications that come with dating Camila, that’s all. I don’t
really think that it’s such a good idea to let Clare back in to your
life again right now.” Normani finally expressed. “Not with the
trial and everything coming up. Ijust think that you should be
careful.” Camila had finally filled Ally and Normani in on the
impending trial when they’d gone for dinner after the movie last
week and it had been obvious to both girls that the thought of it
was troubling Lauren’s girlfriend greatly. “Well thanks for the
advice,” Lauren said, her tone softening slightly and becoming less
defensive, “but honestly, you have nothing to worry about Mani.
Camz and I are better than ever.” “Look, it’s not that I don’t trust
you Lo,” Normani said, placing a hand on her friend’s knee,
“because I know what you and Camila have been through to get
 to where you are now. I’m just…I’m aware that Clare is kind of a
less complicated version of Camila. She doesn’t have a lot of
drama going on right now and her personality combined with that
is kind of attractive when you’ve got a lot of your own problems
to deal with.” “It might be attractive to other people but it’s not
to me,” Lauren reassured her. “Besides, the stuff that’s going on
right now is nothing compared to what me and Camz have been
through in the past. We’re fine.” “You’re not fine,” Normani said.
“I mean, you’re fine as a couple but you have to admit that the
news about the trial has hit Camila kind of hard.” “She’s just
worried about how she’ll react in court,” Lauren responded,
having discussed her girlfriend’s concerns with her at length over
the weekend. “You can’t really blame her for that can you? I
mean, her lawyer is bringing in her neurologist and the attending
physician that treated her in the ER as witnesses. She’s going to
have to listen to and relive every little injury that guy inflicted on
her all over again.” Lauren paused for a moment herself feeling
sick at the thought of having to hear about Camila’s injuries in all
their gory detail. “What’s worse is that they’re going to be
showing pictures too,” Lauren continued after a moment. “She’s
only just started to be able to look at herself in the mirror again.”
“Camila’s not sleeping,” Normani reminded her. “She hasn’t been
since she found out about the trial.” “Could you sleep if it were
you?” Lauren asked her friend. “Honestly Mani, would you be able
to sleep if you were in her shoes? I don’t think that I could.”
 Lauren sighed audibly and took her friends hand in her own,
squeezing it appreciatively. “Look I know you’re concerned but I
promise, you don’t have to be Mani,” Lauren told her. “I’ll be fine
and she’ll be fine,” Lauren reassured her. “Camz can handle
herself better now. We talk about things…I mean, when we can…”
Normani gave Lauren a look. “Her speech hasn’t been as good
recently,” Normani noted and Lauren gave her friend a sad smile.
“It’s because she’s tired.” Lauren stated unconcerned. “It’s just a
blip Mani. She’ll be ok once she’s had a good night’s sleep.”
“Meanwhile you’ll be chatting with Clare and making jokes,” she
commented. “You’ll be enjoying yourself…” Normani trailed off.
“Perhaps you’ll start wondering what it would be like to be in a
relationship with someone who can always hold a conversation
with you…” “You think I’m that superficial?” Lauren asked her
offended. “No, I think Clare’s that charming.” Normani replied,
her tone serious. “She’d be a welcome escape from reality for a
bit wouldn’t she? It’d be kind of nice to be able to go out and not
have to worry about her having a seizure or losing the ability to
speak.” She listed. “Maybe you’d quite like to out and not have to
worry about the person you’re dating losing her balance and
accidentally knocking over a display at Walmart.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 5/14 “I don’t know whether I should be
touched or insulted by what you’re saying.” Lauren said truthfully.
“You’re obviously trying to look out for Camz but you say these
 things as though I didn’t know what she was like before I started
dating her, like maybe I’ll start thinking that I’ve made a mistake
by choosing to be with her and that I’ll regret sticking by her when
there are other less complicated options out there for me.”
“Maybe you will.” Normani said. “You can’t know that you won’t.
I’m just asking you to be careful that’s all.” “Let me get this
straight,” Lauren said trying to understand her friends’ view. “You
were pissed at me for the way that I’d treated Clare at the diner,”
Lauren recalled. “You were all mad because I didn’t want anything
to do with her when she came over to speak to me at Jimmy’s but
now that I’m actually giving her a chance you’re asking me to be
careful? Why?” Lauren asked. “Don’t you like her now?” “I don’t
trust her motives.” Normani said truthfully. “I know she says that
she’s not interested but I just find it weird that she’s so
determined to be friends with her exgirlfriend.” “We weren’t…”
Lauren tried to protest again but Normani held up her hand
already knowing what Lauren was going to say. “Whatever,” she
said. “Look, it’s just not normal is all I’m saying,” Normani went
on. “I’m not still friends with Arin after we broke up. Surely Clare
has friends of her own.” She persisted. “I just don’t understand
why she can’t hang out with them. Why does she suddenly want
to be friends with all of us?” “Look Mani, I get what you’re
saying,” Lauren said, placing a hand on Normani’s arm and
rubbing it reassuringly, “but honestly, you don’t have to worry
about me.” “It’s not you that I’m worried about,” Normani
 responded bluntly, her eyes meeting Lauren’s and holding them
meaningfully. “I won’t hurt Camz,” Lauren reassured her. “I would
never do anything to hurt her.” Lauren’s front doorbell rang
before Normani could say anything further and the brunette slid
off the counter to go and answer it, finding both Ally and Clare in
conversation on her doorstep, the two of them having obviously
arrived at the same time. “Hi,” Lauren greeted the pair of them,
gesturing them both inside. “Hey Lo,” Ally said, stepping in to the
house a large bag in her hand full of DVD’s. “Where’s Camz and
Dinah?” Lauren asked. “Ithought you were giving them a lift?”
“Camila’s not doing so well today,” Ally informed her with a sad,
halfsmile on her lips. “She’s got a bad headache so Dinah thought
it might be a good idea for them to walk here with Jasper and get
some fresh air.” “Didn’t she sleep again?” Lauren asked
concerned. “She didn’t mention anything when I text her earlier.”
“Apparently she was up all night.” Ally shared. “Did she look
alright when you left her?” Lauren pressed, eager for more
information. “She was her normal cheery self,” Ally reassured her.
“She just looks tired that’s all.” “Ok,” Lauren said trying not to
worry too much, “Thanks.” “Anyway, I come bearing gifts.” She
said, lifting up the bag for her friend to take and trying to change
the topic. “Great,” Lauren said, taking hold of it. “Normani is in
the kitchen. Perhaps you guys could take the food and drink in to
the living room?” she suggested. “Sure.” Ally said disappearing in
to the kitchen as Lauren turned back to Clare. “Hey,” she greeted
 and the other brunette smiled. “Hi,” she said gesturing to her
backpack. “I come bearing gifts too…except mine are a little more
edible than those.” She finished, pointing towards the DVD’s.
Clare glanced around the house from where she stood and
released a slow breath, seemingly in awe.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 6/14 “Nice place,” she commented. “Big.” “I
guess,” Lauren replied. “Come in and I’ll show you around.” She
offered opening the door up wider for the other girl to step inside.
Clare stepped into the hallway and Lauren took her on a quick
tour of the house whilst Ally and Normani set things up in the
living room. “Finally,” Lauren said, opening her arms wide at her
sides, “we have the living room.” She said, finishing the
orientation as she walked through the door of the lounge to find
Ally and Normani whispering to one another on one of the sofas,
eating the snacks which had been laid out on the table. “This is
where the movie marathon happens.” “You should probably
choose a good seat now,” Ally recommended to Clare kindly.
“Otherwise you’ll miss out and end up sitting on the floor.” She
popped another chip in her mouth before continuing. “You’ll be
suffering from a dead leg for the rest of the week if you’re not
careful.” “Either that or you’ll end up having to watch Lauren
make out with Camila for the whole movie,” Normani said and
Lauren gave her a disapproving look at how blatant she was being.
“Be thankful if that’s all you have to watch them doing though,”
 Ally commented, placing a piece of popcorn in to her mouth and
causing Lauren’s face to blush bright red. “Do I even want to
know?” Clare asked, turning her attention to Lauren as she sat
down in one of the large armchairs. “Ignore her,” Lauren said to
Clare, her eyes fixed on Ally who was wearing a massive smirk.
“She’s only joking.” “I wish I was joking,” Ally laughed as the
doorbell rang again and Lauren shot her a warning look before
she disappeared to answer it. “Hey,” Camila said as Lauren
opened the front door to find her girlfriend and Dinah stood
outside on the porch. Camila had a bright smile on her face
despite the heavy bags under her eyes and a grey complexion.
“Hey,” Lauren greeted, smiling in return and stepping forward to
embrace Camila in her arms, squeezing her small frame tightly.
“Are you alright? Ally said you weren’t feeling too good.”
“Headache,” Camila answered as Lauren released her slightly in
order to get a better look at her face. “She got a total of zero
hours of sleep last night,” Dinah informed Lauren, making a circle
with her hand for emphasis from her position beside Camila.
Dinah had Jasper’s leash in her other hand and the small
chocolate coloured puppy sat obediently at her feet. “Are you
having nightmares again?” Lauren asked Camila and she shook
her head as Dinah stepped in to the hallway around Lauren. The
Polynesian girl crouched down to release Jasper from his restraint
before standing back up again quickly to speak on Camila’s behalf.
“More like memories, right Mila?” Dinah queried and Camila
 nodded as Lauren reached up a hand to brush some hair out of
her girlfriend’s eyes. “You didn’t say anything when Itext you
earlier.” Lauren said. “She didn’t want you to worry,” Dinah
answered for Camila and the smaller girl gave her friend a pointed
look. “You know what,” she said on seeing it. “I’ll be in the living
room with the others and give you two a minute.” Lauren waited
until Dinah had disappeared before pulling gently on Camila’s
hand and guiding her girlfriend inside the house. Camila closed
the door after herself and Lauren stepped forward to kiss her
tenderly on the lips. “Are you going to try and have a sleep here?”
Lauren asked her once they’d parted and Camila gave Lauren a
small smile.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 7/14 For some reason she’d always been
able to sleep better when Lauren was close, the smaller girl
finding comfort in her girlfriends’ presence. “Maybe,” Camila
answered simply an amused expression on her face. “Depends.”
“On what?” Lauren asked, wrapping her arms around Camila’s
waist so that her joined hands rested against her girlfriends’
buttocks. “Don’t…want…trouble.” Camila said with difficulty and
Lauren felt her stomach drop at how laboured her girlfriend’s
speech was today. “Trouble?” Lauren asked confused.
“With….mom.” Camila clarified, pointing at Lauren between the
two words in place of saying ‘your.’ Lauren laughed and pulled
Camila closer to her. “When I say sleep, I mean sleep.” Lauren told
her laughing, kissing her delicately on the forehead. “I really think
that you should try babe,” she added. “Don’t worry if you drift off
during the movie ok?” Camila ignored the taller girls’ words,
instead reaching a hand forward to brush her fingertips against
Lauren’s ribs over her tshirt. “How…are…you? Camila managed to
express. “I’m alright,” Lauren reassured her, placing one of her
hands over Camila’s as it rested against her chest, over her broken
and still healing ribs. “They’re much better now. They barely hurt
at all.” Camila pushed Lauren’s tshirt up to get a better look at her
girlfriend’s side and Lauren let her, moving her hand out of the
way for a moment. She watched as a small frown appeared on
Camila’s face and the smaller girl bent down and placed her lips
against Lauren’s lightly bruised skin, kissing it softly for a minute.
When Camila stood tall again, she lifted her fingertips to brush at
Lauren’s right temple where the sutures had now been removed
from the laceration there and she traced the faint but fading scar
carefully, placing another gentle kiss against Lauren’s soft skin.
“Camz,” Lauren started, but Camila took hold of Lauren’s hand
and led her towards the living room to join the others. “Wait a
minute,” Lauren instructed, tugging on Camila’s hand for a
moment and spinning her around on the spot. “Babe, are you sure
that you’re alright?” “You…alright?” Camila asked again and
Lauren nodded her head. “I already told you that I was.” Lauren
reminded her and Camila smiled. “Then…me…too.” Camila
pushed out before guiding Lauren in to the living room, Lauren
 with a large smile on her face at her girlfriends’ words, the
meaning in them clear, that as long as she was feeling alright,
than so was Camila. On entering the living room Camila moved
straight over towards the sofa where Dinah was sitting with Ally
and Normani. “Jesus Christ Mila,” Dinah complained as her friend
sat on top of her heavily. “Can’t you see this seat is taken?”
Camila turned to Dinah and smiled, not saying anything, just
meeting her best friend’s eyes markedly. “Ugh fine,” Dinah
groaned as she struggled out from beneath her friend and moved
to a spot on the floor beside the coffee table. “Thanks.” Camila
said and Dinah waved at her dismissively. “Guys?” Lauren asked
addressing Ally and Normani. “Do you mind?” “Are you seriously
turning us out of our seat?” Ally asked a piece of popcorn held in
her hand halfway between the bowl and her mouth. “We’re in my
house which means I get the sofa,” Lauren said. “Sorry but I didn’t
make up the rules.” “Wait, that doesn’t sound right.” Clare mused
from her position in the arm chair. “Surely the host makes sure
that their guests are comfortable right?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 8/14 “Actually no,” Ally informed her. “We
made up these stupid rules which means that the person whose
house we’re at for movie night gets to be the comfiest.” “I can’t
remember why we’d ever be so stupid as to agree to that.”
Normani said huffing as she clambered off the sofa and lay on the
floor beside Dinah. “It was Dinah’s idea,” Ally said standing up and
 making her way over to the other armchair in the living room
which had a slightly obscured view of the TV from where it was
positioned. Lauren smiled as she sat down on the sofa beside
Camila and stretched her legs out to rest on the table in front of
her. “There are a lot of people in my house so it’s only fair that on
the one occasion I can actually make them vacate the living room I
get to sit on the sofa.” Dinah said as she turned to pick up a bowl
of chips from the table and placed them on the floor in front of
her and Normani. “I guess that’s fair,” Ally allowed, fiddling with
the TV remote in her hand. “So what are we watching?” Lauren
asked from her position on the sofa as she lifted her arm up so
that Camila could snuggle in to her side, her girlfriends’ legs bent
up beside her on the sofa cushion. Camila squeezed one arm
behind Lauren’s back and placed the other on her girlfriends’
chest, her eyes watching the conversation going on around her
sleepily. Lauren brought her arm down around Camila’s shoulders
and pulled her close, her fingertips stroking the smaller girls’
upper arm soothingly. “Ally wants to watch ‘Definitely, Maybe.’”
Normani said and Dinah audibly groaned. “What’s wrong with
that?” Clare asked. “I’m just really not in the mood for a romantic
comedy,” Dinah said, glancing around at the others. “Can we
watch something with a lot of gore and mindless killing?”
“Really?” Lauren asked hopefully. “You never want to watch
horror movies. I’m normally outnumbered.” “I don’t want to
watch a horror movie,” Ally complained. “Camila will agree with
 me. She hates them. What’s wrong with a romantic comedy? You
don’t normally have a problem with them Dinah.” “Yeah, well
normally Siope and I aren’t fighting.” Dinah said and Ally’s face
betrayed her surprise at the news. “Wait,” Normani said sitting up
a little so that she was propped on her elbows. “You and Siope are
fighting? What happened?” “I don’t really want to talk about it,”
Dinah said, taking a handful of chips from the bowl in front of her
and busying her hands with them distractedly. “Can we just watch
something else please?” “Ok,” Ally relented, casting a worried
look in Camila’s direction, the smaller girl watching her friend with
a sympathetic look on her face through heavy eyelids. “Is
everyone alright with that?” “I am,” Lauren said, understanding
from Camila that Dinah and Siope still hadn’t made up after their
fight last week but still uncertain what the reason behind it was.
“Do you have the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” Clare asked Lauren
and the other girl smiled happily. “Yeah of course,” she replied.
“Ilove horror movies,” Clare commented. “They’re so predictable
but that’s what makes them entertaining. It’s like, why would you
ever go to some run down shack in the middle of nowhere and
start rummaging through it? You’re asking to get killed if you act
that much of an idiot.” “I know right?” Lauren said glad that
someone finally understood the allure. “If your car breaks down in
the middle of Hicksville you’d head straight back in the direction
of the freeway to a proper gas station. You wouldn’t go exploring
some decrepit house because the owner didn’t answer the door.
The rule is, if no one answer’s then consider yourselves lucky and
get the hell out of there.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 9/14 “So where is this movie?” Normani
asked trying to stop the conversation before it could get too
animated and moving over towards the DVD unit nearby. “It’s
down on the bottom shelf with the others,” Lauren said pointing
with the hand which hung around Camila’s shoulders, the other
resting atop her girlfriend’s where it sat on her chest. “I’ll put it
in.” Normani said, filing through the DVD’s. When she found the
one that she was looking for, Normani put it in to the DVD player
and rehomed ‘Definitely, Maybe’ back in its original case.
“Awesome,” Dinah said ramming a couple of chips in to her
mouth. “Time to watch some stupid people get killed.” “Ally, are
you sure that you’re alright with this?” Normani asked her friend
as the smaller girl pulled a blanket up around her, ready to hide if
need be. “I’d prefer to watch something else but, if it’ll cheer
Dinah up then, sure.” She said. “We always watch what I want to
anyway.” “Camila is that alright with you?” Normani asked turning
her attention to the smaller girl but Camila’s eyelids were already
closed and her chest was rising and falling steadily as she slept in
Lauren’s arms. “I guess it is,” Normani chuckled and Lauren
dipped her head forward to look at her girlfriend. “Is she asleep
already?” Lauren asked pleased, the hand which was resting on
Camila’s shoulder, moving up to stroke her girlfriends’ temple
 tenderly. “That was quick.” “Are you really surprised?” Dinah
asked smiling at Lauren. “Mila’s running on empty. She was going
to crash sooner or later.” “I just didn’t think it’d be this soon.”
Lauren commented, shifting her position slightly so that Camila’s
head was now resting in her lap. “All she needed was to be with
you,” Dinah said making a face. “It makes me feel a little nauseous
actually.” She admitted. “Wow,” Normani said. “Things must be
bad with you and Siope if you can’t even ship Camren like you
used to.” “Who’s Camren?” Clare asked confused. “Camila and
Lauren,” Ally answered. “That’s what Dinah calls them.” “I still
ship them.” Dinah said. “I’m just bitter because they’re still so
sickeningly happy. You don’t want to hang around with loved up
couples when you’re verging on becoming single. You want to
stab them.” “Amen,” Normani agreed, having felt exactly the
same way when she’d broken up with Arin. “Ok should I be
concerned for my safety?” Lauren asked as Jasper wandered in to
the living room. “No you’re alright as long as you have Mila with
you.” Dinah said. “I might be bitter but I’m not about to stab my
best friend.” “You’d stab me though?” Lauren questioned
amused. “I’d think about it,” Dinah replied, winking at Lauren and
the brunette laughed. “Depends how moody I’m feeling.” “Is this
what you guys are always like?” Clare asked entertained by the
friendly banter. “I mean, do you always talk about killing one
another?” “No, sometimes we talk about threesomes.” Dinah
answered, stuffing another chip in to her mouth. “In fact, Lauren
 invited me to have one with her and Mila once.” “Really?” Clare
laughed. “I was joking.” Lauren said sternly. “It wasn’t a proper
offer.” “Keep telling yourself that.” Dinah said. “You know you
wanted a piece of this.” She said, slapping herself on the buttock
gently. “Oh God,” Lauren said scrunching up her face. “Can we
not?” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trials-
andtribulationschapter62 10/14 “You guys are hilarious.” Clare
chuckled, watching the small springer spaniel puppy clamber up
on to the sofa to lie beside Camila who remained asleep and
undisturbed. “I am,” Dinah commented, her mood brightening up
somewhat. “Mila can have her moments too. These three
though…” she said gesturing to the others. “Not so much.” “Hey!
I’m funny,” Normani complained and Dinah nodded her head in
agreement. “Yeah, ok.” She acknowledged. “Normani can be
funny too.” “Wait, I’m not funny?” Ally asked. “You’re funny when
you mock Lauren,” Dinah said. “I swear you’re hilarious when you
tease her.” “Well, she’s such a dork that she makes it easy,” Ally
chuckled, raising an eyebrow in Lauren’s direction. “Hey,” Lauren
protested. “Do you want me to come over there and hit you all?”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Ally answered knowingly. “Not if it meant
disturbing Camila. Which it does…” “Ugh,” Lauren groaned. “You
guys are so mean to me sometimes. What did I ever do to you?”
“You fell in love with my best friend,” Dinah smiled at her. “That
means I’m allowed to be mean to you.” “You are my best friend,”
Ally said, “so teasing is definitely allowed, especially because you
 have never been shy in mocking me in the past.” “Same,”
Normani laughed. “You know I think we should just watch the
movie now,” Lauren suggested, trying to change the subject.
“Yes,” Clare agreed. “I’m so ready for it.” “Me too,” Dinah
concurred settling back on her front and facing the TV. “Good
thing Camila is asleep or she’d be hiding with Ally,” Normani joked
as the smaller girl started the movie, the blanket pulled up to her
neck ready. “Horror movies aren’t that bad are they?” Clare asked
her. “I just don’t get the appeal of watching people killed in
horrific ways,” Ally commented. “I’d much rather watch
something a little more uplifting.” “Horror movies are kind of
uplifting,” Clare said her tone light. “I mean, generally speaking
you’ll always have one survivor.” “Yeah, I guess,” Ally said. “I
doubt that they’d be able to function in normal society much
though, you know, what with being so emotionally scarred and
all…” “At least they’re still alive though.” Clare commented.
“Being alive is always better than being dead.” Clare continued as
‘Sweet Home Alabama’ played on screen, the VW van full of drunk
and high teenagers speeding through the American Midwest.
“You only have one life after all.” “I kind of agree with Clare,”
Lauren said, brushing Camila’s brow with her fingertips as
Normani gave her a pointed look. “People can get through
anything. It just takes time that’s all.” “Maybe,” Ally conceded
observing Camila’s sleeping form thoughtfully. “All I’m saying is
that if you lot were all gutted by a crazed fisherman in front of me
I don’t think I’d ever recover from that.” “Can you guys shut up?”
Dinah complained from the floor. “I’m trying to watch all these
dumbasses freak out because some crazy chick just blew off her
head in the back of their van.” Dinah ate a chip noisily, her eyes
fixed on the screen in front of her. “See,” she continued pointing
to the screen, looking pleased. “This is why you don’t pick up
hitchhikers. They’re almost always crazy.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 11/14 The group continued to watch the
rest of the movie in relative silence, the odd sarcastic comment
dropping here and there throughout. Ally’s audible groans were
heard at any point in the film which involved any minute buildup
of suspense or visible gore and she would pull up her blanket to
cover her eyes quickly, more often than not failing at sparing
herself the image, her reflexes too slow. For her part, Camila
continued to sleep in Lauren’s lap during the entirety of the first
movie and then the second, Jasper curled up in to her side closely
all the while, her soft snores only noticeable to Lauren who spent
more time watching her girlfriend then the TV screen, her fingers
stroking Camila’s brow automatically out of habit. It was when
they were halfway through the third film that Lauren felt Jasper
stir, the small puppy whining as he nudged Camila’s face gently
with his own, trying to bury himself against her. Lauren looked
down at her girlfriend, surprised when she didn’t stir at Jasper’s
disturbance. “Camz,” Lauren said gently, shaking the smaller girl
 slightly. “Hey babe,” she said, brushing her girlfriend’s dark locks
out of her face in order to get a better look. “Wake up.” Lauren
prompted. Dinah glanced over at Lauren on hearing the other
girls’ request and she turned her attention away from ‘Scream 2’
for a moment to see what was going on. “Everything alright?”
Dinah asked, propping herself up on her elbows for a moment as
Jasper continued to whine, his paws scratching against the sofa
beside Camila. “Camz won’t wake up.” Lauren said unable to hide
the concern from her voice. “You have to shake her really hard,”
Dinah said. “She’s actually a really heavy sleeper when she
eventually drifts off.” “Hey babe,” Lauren said, shaking Camila
hard, her legs starting to get cramp from being immobile for so
long. “You’ve got to wake up now. Camz.” Lauren felt Camila’s
head move in her lap, the smaller girl turning it to bury it deeper
against her thighs. “Camz babe,” Lauren said as Jasper whined
once more and lay back down beside Camila, his chin resting on
his outstretched paws. “Can you wake up for a moment?” “Oi
Mila!” Dinah shouted from her position on the floor, making not
only Lauren but the rest of the girls in the room jump. “Rise and
shine!” Dinah frowned when Camila didn’t stir and pushed herself
up from the floor to walk over to her friend. “Oi!” she shouted,
rocking her back and forth again. “Time to wake up!” she said
shoving Camila’s shoulder hard. “Is she alright?” Clare asked,
peeking over the side of her chair to try and get a better look at
what was going on. “She’s fine,” Dinah said dismissively, waving a
hand and reaching down to pinch Camila’s trapezius muscle hard.
Camila groaned audibly and lifted a hand to swot Dinah’s away
but the taller girl just squeezed the location harder until her best
friend turned her head to look at her, both eyes fluttering open.
“Fuck off.” Camila swore, pushing on Dinah’s arm meaningfully.
“I’m…sleeping.” “Hey,” Lauren said, brushing Camila’s brow with
her hand and bending lower over her in order to kiss her girlfriend
softly on the temple. “You’ve been asleep for a while now
babe…it’s time to wake up.” Camila twisted on to her back and
Dinah reached over to hold Camila’s chin in her hands, noticing
something. “Wait a minute,” Dinah said, leaning across her friend
to study her face closer as she noticed the blue tinge to her lips.
“Dinah,” Camila protested, shaking her head from side to side in
an attempt to free her face from the other girls grasp. “Let…go…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71245136411/trialsand-
tribulationschapter62 12/14 “What’s wrong?” Lauren asked Dinah
as Camila lifted both her hands to shove her friend away and sat
up, evidently irritated. “Her lips are blue,” Dinah said pointing at
Camila who was rubbing her eyes, now fully awake and more than
a little disgruntled. “What?” she asked, lowering her hands.
“No….” “Ugh yeah,” Dinah said and Camila turned to look at
Lauren as though not trusting her friend to tell her the truth.
Lauren lifted her fingers to touch Camila’s lips lightly and nodded
her head. “Yeah babe,” Lauren said worriedly. “They’re definitely
blue.” “Have you got a heart problem?” Clare asked interestedly.
 “No,” Camila said, placing a hand over her sternum and recalling
the bouts of chest pain she’d been suffering recently. Lauren
noticed the gesture and placed a hand on Camila’s shoulder
questioningly but her attention was turned towards the other girl.
“Are you sure?” Clare asked her. “Blue lips normally mean that
you have trouble with your circulation. My uncle has coronary
artery disease and his sometimes turns blue. You had heart
surgery after the accident right?” “Yes,” Camila answered
honestly, looking at Lauren evidently terrified. Lauren stood up
quickly from where she was sat and reached out her hand for
Camila to take. “Lauren?” Camila asked. “You need to get checked
out,” Lauren told her simply, her hand still held out between
them. Camila looked at it for a moment and Lauren thought that
she might refuse; her girlfriends’ dislike of hospitals vivid in her
memory. When Camila reached out her own hand and took
Laurens’ without argument Lauren knew that Camila was scared,
not about going back to the hospital, but about there being
something further wrong with her. “Ok,” Camila said standing up.
“Ok.” Lauren acknowledged nodding her head. “Ok.”
Chapter 63
A/N: So, the next chapter will pick up right where this one left off.
I’ve always wanted to write more Sofi/Camila/Lauren scenes
so….that’s what’s happening, lol. I thought it’d be nice to see that
relationship a little bit. Anyway, I hope you enjoy x Lauren stood
outside Camila’s front door, her eyes fixed firmly on the white
 plastic panelling as she shifted her weight from side to side
impatiently. It was Sunday morning, four days after she’d taken
Camila down to the hospital to be checked over by a doctor and
the weather was bright, the warm spring air heating her face as
she stood beneath the slowly rising sun in the sky above. Lauren
lifted her gaze to her girlfriend’s front door and knocked on it
softly again, her previous attempt obviously going unheard.
Lauren glanced up and down the street distractedly for a moment
whilst she waited for someone to answer, only returning her
attention forwards again when she heard the lock click noisily and
the hinges of the door squeak as it opened. She watched as a
small gap appeared between the door and the wall to reveal a shy
looking Sofi, who stood biting her bottom lip in the same way that
her older sister often did. The youngsters’ eyes were fixed firmly
on her feet which were crossed over one another and she swung
the door back and forth bashfully as she avoided meeting Lauren’s
gaze. Lauren smiled at the sight of Camila’s younger sister and
crouched down low in front of the girl. “Hi Sofi,” Lauren greeted
smiling kindly as Camila’s sister finally lifted her eyes. “Hi Lauren,”
Sofi returned timidly, tilting her head a little so that her ear was
almost resting against her shoulder her dark eyes dropping to the
floor again. “Are you alright?” Lauren asked her gently, her tone
soft and encouraging. Sofi nodded her head in response and
looked up at Lauren again, a bright smile appearing on her face.
“Is Camz here?” Lauren asked her and Sofi nodded her head once
 more enthusiastically. “She’s upstairs.” Sofi informed Lauren as
she turned her head to look over her shoulder and back in to the
house. “She went to the hospital earlier.” “I know,” Lauren
responded smiling, her tone light and playful. “She had to go and
have another checkup.” “I don’t like the hospital.” Sofi told her
making a face. “It smells funny.” “I don’t like it either,” Lauren
agreed quietly, her voice low as though they were sharing
valuable secrets with one another. “It made Camila sick…” Sofi
said thoughtfully, trying to find the right words to express her
meaning and struggling. “She doesn’t play as much anymore. She
always drops things…” Lauren frowned at Sofi’s words realising
that despite everything she’d been told about Camila’s accident
she still didn’t understand what had happened to her sister, not
properly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 2/10 “The hospital didn’t make her sick
Sofi,” Lauren explained patiently, reaching a hand forward and
placing it on the young girl’s shoulder. “She was in an accident.
The hospital and all the doctors there…they helped to make her
better.” “Then why does she have to keep going back?” Sofi
asked, pushing on the door slightly and opening it further as she
forgot her shyness. “They’re still trying to make her better,”
Lauren told Sofi, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. “Do you
know why?” “Why?” Sofi asked, leaning forward a little so that
they could conspire together, believing that everything that
 Lauren was telling her was topsecret information. “It’s because
she wants to be able to play with you again properly, like she used
to before.” Lauren shared with Sofi, moving her hand to rest on
the side of the girls’ neck. “She’ll keep going back until she can do
that.” “But…she doesn’t like hospitals either,” Sofi said confused.
“They make her sad.” “I know,” Lauren acknowledged, “but
sometimes you have to do things that you don’t like because
they’re for the best.” “I don’t want her to be sad.” Sofi stated
simply. “She shouldn’t go if she doesn’t like it. We don’t have to
play. We can colour instead.” Lauren smiled at Sofi and looked up
as the door opened wide. “Hi Lauren,” Sinu greeted warmly as
Lauren stood up. “Ithought I heard your voice.” “Hi,” Lauren
returned, lifting one of her hands in a small wave. “Mija,” Sinu
said, placing a hand on the top of Sofi’s head, the small girl
watching her mom expectantly. “Your breakfast is in the kitchen.
Why don’t you go in get started?” she suggested. Sofi looked up
at Lauren appearing torn between staying to talk to her and
leaving. “Do you think Camila will stop going to the hospital if I ask
her?” Sofi questioned, glancing between Lauren and her mom.
Sinu gave Lauren an inquiring look and the teenager bent down
again to address Sofi. “I think that she loves you so much,” Lauren
started emphasizing the last two words, “That she’d still go even if
you asked her not to.” “Why?” Sofi asked her, repeating her
favourite question. “Well,” Lauren said, pausing for a moment to
consider her answer. “It’s because even though going to the
hospital makes her sad, the thought of being able to play with you
makes her feel happy, like, ten times happier then she is sad.”
“Ten times happier?” Sofi queried and Lauren nodded. “Maybe
even a hundred times happier.” Lauren said and Sofi smiled.
“Maybe until Camila is better properly you can come and play
with me?” Sofi asked uncertainly, the previous shyness returning
momentarily. “Sure,” Lauren agreed. “I’d like that.” “Ok,” Sofi
acknowledged before turning and disappearing in to the house to
have her breakfast. “She never was very good at finishing a
conversation properly,” Sinu laughed as Lauren stood up, her eyes
watching after the small girl amused by her blunt exit. “She’s
always so shy when I come over here,” Lauren chuckled. “I
thought she’d have gotten used to seeing me by now.” “I don’t
think that’ll be a problem now.” Sinu laughed. “I think that you’ll
probably have a hard time getting rid of her when you’re round
now.” She said, gesturing Lauren inside the house. “Ithink you just
committed yourself to being her best friend.” Lauren stepped
inside the hallway and Sinu closed the door behind her. “That’s
alright,” Lauren replied. “I don’t mind. I know that Camz likes
spending time with Sofi. She normally takes Dinah with her when
they do things though, that way she doesn’t feel so bad about not
being able to. Dinah makes a good substitute.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 3/10 “I don’t know who the bigger kid is
when it comes to Dinah and Sofi.” Sinu mused. “I think it’s fairly
 even.” Lauren smiled in agreement as she looked in the direction
of the stairs, towards where she knew Camila was. “You can go
straight on up,” Sinu encouraged her, placing a hand on Lauren’s
shoulder. “Is she alright?” Lauren asked Sinu, delaying the ascent
for a moment. “I tried texting her this morning but she didn’t
answer. I thought maybe something bad had happened…” “She’s
causing chaos in her room,” Sinu interceded. “She’s got her
headphones on and there are clothes everywhere…I’d be
surprised if she even knows where her phone is to be honest.” “So
she’s not ignoring me?” Lauren asked. “Not intentionally.” Sinu
said patting Lauren on the shoulder. “What did the doctors
decide?” Lauren probed, eager to know the decision they’d come
to regarding Camila’s problem. “They want to try cardioversion,”
Sinu answered truthfully. “They think that’s the best option
considering her history but Camila isn’t so sure. She’s thinking
about it. I have a feeling that she wants to try the medication
first.” “Ithought that the medication wasn’t always effective?”
Lauren asked. “It isn’t,” Sinu confirmed. “Plus the doctors are
worried because some of the side effects of the drugs include
nightmares, depression and tiredness. They think it’d be best to
avoid them if they can.” “There’s a good chance that all her
symptoms would resolve if she had the cardioversion though
right?” Lauren enquired. “Apparently it’s successful in ninetyfive
percent of patients,” Sinu acquiesced. “Unfortunately, symptoms
often reappear in about seventyfive percent of people who have
 it though.” “After how long?” Lauren enquired, thinking that it
definitely sounded like the better out of the two options.
“Between one and two years.” Sinu answered. “Surely that’s
better than taking more medication indefinitely?” Lauren
considered out loud. “It’s not me that you have to convince.” Sinu
responded sighing audibly. “You could make Camz have it” Lauren
said, only halfjoking. “I could,” Sinu said. “I don’t want to have to
do that though. I’d rather that she came to the decision herself.”
Lauren glanced back up the stairs and shook her head slightly. “I’ll
see if I can talk to her,” Lauren assured her. “Just don’t force it,”
Sinu warned. “You know how she can be. There’s no point in
fighting.” “I won’t,” Lauren agreed and she turned to make her
way up to Camila’s bedroom, Sinu watching after her for a
moment before disappearing in to the kitchen to watch over Sofi.
Camila’s door was closed when Lauren arrived at it and she
knocked loudly to announce her presence outside, waiting for a
minute before pushing the door open slightly when no response
came. Sinu hadn’t been lying when she said Camila was causing
chaos and Lauren raised an eyebrow in surprise when she took in
the view before her. Camila’s room was a complete and utter
mess. There were clothes and books scattered haphazardly all
over the floor and the bed. The bedroom walls were barren and
not one single picture was in sight, not even the small strip of
photo booth pictures from their group date. Lauren looked over
the room and couldn’t help but worry that Camila had
 intentionally trashed it, that she’d reverted back to her previous
ways of coping with difficult news.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 4/10 The only thing that made Lauren
question this possibility was that Sinu hadn’t seemed concerned
by it. In fact, she’d seemed more amused than anything else.
Lauren studied the room in search of Camila, finally finding her
girlfriend on all fours, apparently searching for something in the
bottom of her closet, her headphones in place to silence out the
rest of the world with her music. “Camz?!” Lauren called loudly,
trying to get her girlfriend’s attention and failing, Camila’s music
obviously too loud and preventing her from hearing. “Hey babe!”
Lauren called again, stepping across the disorder beneath her feet
and putting a hand on Camila’s shoulder. Camila physically
jumped in response to Lauren’s touch, one hand reaching for her
chest in surprise as she fell backwards on to the floor at the
unexpected intrusion. “Shit,” Camila cursed, pulling her
headphones off to hang loosely around her neck. Camila turned
her music off and laughed at herself for her reaction, Lauren
smiling at the sound of her girlfriends’ amusement. “You scared
the crap out of me,” Camila said playfully as she extended one
hand up towards Lauren in a silent prompt for her girlfriend to
help her up off her buttocks and on to her feet. “Have you not
heard of knocking?” she asked as Lauren pulled her up carefully so
that she was standing in front of her. “Yes,” Lauren returned
jovially. “Have you not heard of volume control?” she questioned,
tapping Camila’s headphones’ meaningfully. “No,” Camila
answered spiritedly. “What’s that?” she asked. “It’s supposed to
stop you going deaf,” Lauren chuckled. “Perhaps you should try
and use it in future.” She suggested. “Otherwise when you’re grey
and old you’ll have to wear hearing aids and you’ll keep asking
people to repeat everything they say all the time.” “Won’t I be
doing that anyway?” Camila questioned and Lauren furrowed her
brow in response, confused. “You know, when I’m senile and I
can’t remember what’s been said to me from one moment to the
next?” she clarified and Lauren smiled, shaking her head,
entertained. “What are you doing?” Lauren laughed glancing
around the room, changing the topic. Camila stepped forward and
placed a soft kiss on Lauren’s lips. “I’m reorganising.” Camila told
her happily before moving past her and closing the bedroom door
again. She walked back over to the bed and removed her
headphones, placing them, along with the iPhone which had been
tucked away in her back pocket on top of the duvet. “Hey, I’ve got
a message from you.” Camila noted, picking up the phone again
and reading Lauren’s text from earlier. “I know,” Lauren
responded, turning to face her girlfriend fully. “I wanted to know
how it went at the hospital earlier.” “It was fine,” Camila
answered noncommittedly, chucking her phone back on to the
bed as Lauren made a move towards her. “Careful,” she
cautioned, noticing Lauren’s choice of path. “Jasper is somewhere
 around there.” She informed her, gesturing her hand in Lauren’s
general direction. “Jasper!” Lauren called, whistling in order to
locate him, concerned about treading on the small dog. Lauren
watched as a pile of clothing started to shift on the floor and
Jasper soon appeared from beneath it, stretching his back legs
tiredly. He wagged his tail as he saw Lauren and walked over to
her, jumping up at her legs in greeting. “Jasper,” Camila chastised
at his lack of discipline. “Sit.” She commanded and he obeyed,
sitting on his back legs quickly. “Good boy” Lauren praised,
scratching behind his ear as Camila picked up a bag of treats and
offered one of them to Lauren so that she could give it to him.
Lauren took the small biscuit and held it out for him in her hand.
“Here you go,” she said, but Jasper waited patiently for something
and remained still.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 5/10 “Take it,” Camila instructed as she
placed the bag back on to her nightstand and Jasper did as he was
told, taking hold of the biscuit in his mouth and trotting over to sit
in front of the door on his stomach as he ate it. “Wow,” Lauren
said watching after the small dog. “Impressive.” “He’s definitely
getting better,” Camila commented and Lauren nodded her head
in agreement. “He still gets overexcited sometimes,” she
recognised, “especially when it comes to you” “That makes the
two of you then,” Lauren teased and Camila’s grin grew wide, a
smirk appearing on her face. “So I was thinking that we could take
 Jasper to the park or something?” Camila said, picking up a
jumper from the bed and starting to fold it up neatly. “You don’t
want to finish tidying this up?” Lauren asked her, looking around
at the clutter. “I can do it later,” Camila said, “I was just looking
for something anyway.” “What?” Lauren asked with interest, her
eyes falling unconsciously on the barren walls where Camila’s
pictures had been located after her return from rehabilitation. “It
doesn’t matter,” Camila said, waving her hand dismissively,
following Lauren’s gaze. “They’re over there.” She told her
girlfriend pointing at her desk. “What are?” Lauren asked, trying
to sound oblivious but failing. “My pictures,” Camila replied. “I
could see you looking at the walls for them but they’re on my
desk. Don’t worry though. I’m not having some kind of
breakdown.” “I didn’t think you were,” Lauren lied and Camila
lifted an eyebrow and put a hand on her hip unconvinced. “Ok, I
admit that the thought might have crossed my mind. I mean, your
room is kind of trashed.” “It’s not trashed,” Camila laughed. “It’s
just in a state of organised chaos. Trust me, I’m not relapsing or
whatever,” Camila reassured her, closing the distance between
them and taking Lauren’s hand in her own. “I really am just re-
organising.” She reiterated. “I mean, I don’t know if you’ve
noticed but I seem to have a lot of crap.” Lauren looked at the
mess by her feet for a moment before meeting Camila’s eyes
again. “I’d noticed.” She chuckled. “I thought it was about time
that I threw some stuff out.” Camila said. “I took the pictures
 down because I want to frame them. It wasn’t because I didn’t
want to look at them or anything.” “I guess I was just worried
because of what happened at mine.” Lauren admitted reaching up
a hand to stroke Camila’s brow. “We haven’t really had a chance
to talk about things properly since Wednesday.” “I know. I’m
sorry.” Camila apologised. “I’ve just been busy, you know, with
the tests and things.” “Your mom said that the doctors suggested
cardioversion,” Lauren said, her fingertips tracing Camila’s lips.
“She said that you weren’t convinced though…” “I’m going to
have it,” Camila told Lauren and the brunette found herself
overcome with relief at her girlfriends’ admission. “They said that
it’s the best option but I just, it sounds kind of extreme don’t you
think?” “Shocking your heart?” Lauren asked her. “Yeah,” Camila
confirmed. “I mean, it’s just an irregular heartbeat for fuck’s sake.
It’s not like I’m dying or anything.” “Camz, you have atrial
fibrillation so your heart isn’t pumping properly because its
electrical activity is all over the place. If they leave it untreated
then it can cause a heart attack or a stroke,” Lauren reminded
her. “You could die. It’s better to get it treated.” “I will,” Camila
repeated. “I’m going to but it’s just stupid that they don’t know
what’s caused it.” “I thought they said that it was because of your
heart surgery,” Lauren said, her free hand dropping to rest on
Camila’s shoulder.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 6/10 “They said it might be,” Camila
explained. “It could also be due to psychological stress or fatigue.”
She continued. “Or because I might have a slight infection in the
lining of my heart or because I’ve been using corticosteroids since
the accident to help with the swelling of my brain. They weren’t
sure…it could be any or all of those things.” Camila paused for a
moment to run her hand through her hair. “The doctors didn’t
seem too convinced when I suggested that my irregular heartbeat
was caused by you though.” Camila teased playfully, her tone
turning light as she pressed her hips closer to her girlfriends.
Lauren removed her hand from Camila’s grasp to join the other
one which had found its way to rest against the small of her back.
“They said they didn’t think that was very likely but Itold them
that they’d never met my girlfriend.” Camila said, wrapping her
arms around Lauren’s neck. “I definitely think that this is all down
to you. You make my heart flutter Jauregui,” Camila sighed. “I
don’t think they’ll ever find a cure for that.” “You’re such a dork,”
Lauren laughed pulling Camila against her more closely. “In all
seriousness though I never had this problem before I met you,”
Camila continued, undeterred. “So in the absence of a more solid
and medically based cause I’m going to continue standing by my
previous assessment.” “You’re taking all this really well,” Lauren
noted, one hand pushing up Camila’s top and rubbing the smooth
skin beneath it soothingly. “I thought that you might freak out
when I suggested going to the hospital on Wednesday. I didn’t
think you’d go without an argument.” “Well what can I say?”
Camila asked rhetorically. “I’m a changed girl now. I’m all mature
and stuff.” “And stuff?” Lauren laughed. “Ok, maybe I’m not that
mature but actually I’d been meaning to talk to my mom about
my chest pain for a while. Ijust kept forgetting.” Lauren frowned
at Camila’s words, not entirely sure whether to believe them or
not. “No really, I promise I was going to.” Camila said. “Contrary
to popular belief I’m not ready to die just yet.” Lauren’s lips
curved up into a soft, content smile and she leant forward to kiss
Camila, taking the smaller girls’ mouth in her own, their flesh
moulding together as though they were meant to be connected.
When they’d parted, Lauren kissed Camila’s forehead tenderly,
just over her scar. “When will they do it?” Lauren mumbled
against Camila’s skin and the smaller girl lifted her gaze to meet
her girlfriend’s. “They need to start me on something to thin my
blood first” Camila told her. “Apparently it reduces the risk of
having a stroke afterwards. So it probably won’t be until next
month now.” “Can they wait until next month?” Lauren asked her
concerned. “Yeah,” Camila answered. “They said I’ll be fine as
long as I don’t exert myself too much. They’ve given me some
medications to slow my heart rate down until then.” “Won’t the
blood thinners cause your nosebleeds to start again?” Lauren
questioned perceptively. “Maybe,” Camila said shrugging.
“They’re better than dropping dead though right?” “Right,”
Lauren agreed, her hand still rubbing Camila’s back. “So listen,”
Camila said, stretching on to her tiptoes for a moment to kiss
 Lauren on the lips quickly before untangling herself from the
other girls’ arms to head back over to the bed. “My parent’s
attorney said that I can see copies of the pictures which were
taken of me in the ER prior to them being shown at the trial.”
“He’s allowed to do that?” Lauren asked as Camila bent down to
pick up another jumper which she soon started folding.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 7/10 “Yeah he can.” Camila answered. “It’s
because they’re evidence that he’ll be presenting at court to
support our case,” she explained. “Plus, they’re of me which
means that I have a right to view them if I want to.” “That’s great
Camz,” Lauren told her sincerely. “I know you were worried about
how you’d react to seeing them.” “That’s the thing,” Camila said,
her attention focused on a black sweater in her hands which she
was concentrating on folding neatly, her tongue poking out
between her teeth a little. “I still am so I was wondering if you’d,
you know, come around to look at them with me…” Camila turned
her attention to Lauren who had a surprised expression on her
face. “I um…” Lauren started, not sure if she wanted to see the
devastation the car had inflicted on her body having been spared
it at the time because they’d not met. “I…” “You don’t have to,”
Camila said, placing the now folded sweater on top of the small
pile that was now forming on her bed. “I can ask Dinah…” “Maybe
asking Dinah would be best,” Lauren approved. “I mean, she
already knows what to expect because she’s seen it before. She’ll
 probably be more use to you then I will. I’ll probably freak out,”
Lauren realised, stepping forward. “Ijust, I never knew you back
then and I don’t really know what to expect. What if I can’t handle
seeing it?” “Then I guess that’ll be the same for both of us.”
Camila answered picking up another sweater looking a little
disappointed. “I just don’t think that I’ll help matters,” Lauren
defended, making her way over to Camila. “You need someone
that will be able to keep it together…” she trailed off, watching
her girlfriend. Camila placed the newly folded item of clothing on
top of the pile. “Camz, I don’t want to upset if you I don’t react
the way that you think I will.” Lauren tried to explain. Camila
turned to face Lauren her right hand rubbing the back of her neck.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” she repeated, “but,
honestly, I don’t care about your reaction Lauren. You’re entitled
to it just as much as I am. I’d just like you there with me when
Ilook at them that’s all but…there’s no pressure.” “Can I think
about it?” Lauren asked and Camila nodded her head, as she
turned to the bed again and fiddled mindlessly with the duvet for
a moment. “Sure,” she said, picking up her phone and putting it in
her back pocket. “Are you mad?” Lauren asked and Camila smiled
at her brightly. “No I’m not mad,” Camila told her honestly. “I
could never be mad at you for being honest.” She said, taking one
of Lauren’s hands again. “You do so much for me and I know it
must get annoying when things like this keep coming up. I feel like
ninety percent of our relationship is focused on me and my
 problems…” “Well, if you’d like I could get some problems of my
own for us to try and deal with?” Lauren interrupted jokingly.
“Better idea.” Camila said, lifting up her index finger of her free
hand. “How about we just don’t have any problems to deal with?”
“I’d like that but unfortunately I don’t think we can count on it.”
Lauren said. “Things happen that are beyond our control Camz. I
just like that you’re keeping your promise.” She admitted, lifting
her hand to show Camila the ring that she’d given her on the
beach the day of the Taylor Swift concert. “You promised me that
I could count on you not to lose yourself, that I could tell you how
I’m feeling and I can. I just did.” She continued. “You promised me
that you were committed to living and you’ve kept that promise.”
Lauren brushed Camila’s hair out of her eyes. “I know. I’m so
committed to it that I’m even letting someone shock my heart
despite the fact that it’s still beating.” Camila commented lightly.
“That’s kind of poetic in a way though,” Lauren noted stroking the
base of Camila’s thumb with her own via their entwined hands. “I
guess a little,” Camila chuckled lightly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71427266493/trialsand-
tribulationschapter63 8/10 “So you wanted to go to the park?”
Lauren asked and Camila smiled brightly. “Ithought we could take
Jasper for a walk,” Camila said. “Ithought maybe we could take
Sofi too?” Lauren suggested. “You want to take Sofi to the park?”
Camila asked, her tone betraying her surprise. “Yeah, we’re
besties now. Haven’t you heard?” Lauren said playfully. “I hadn’t.”
 Camila commented amused. “What will Ally and Normani think
about all this?” “Well,” Lauren said, pulling Camila closer to her.
“Ally is the same height as Sofi so they’re practically the same
person and I’ve seen your sister’s crazy ass dance moves, she’s
practically a miniature Normani which means she’s the perfect
substitute for both of them. Why have two best friends when you
can have one that embodies them both?” Camila smiled at Lauren
and kissed her lovingly on the lips, smiling into it as she sunk her
body against Lauren’s. “You really want my sister to come?”
Camila asked, resting her forehead against Lauren’s chest. “Is that
alright?” Lauren asked her, stroking her hair as it fell down her
back. She felt Camila nod against her sternum. “I’d actually really
like that,” Camila said, lifting her eyes again. “Then let’s go and
get her,” Lauren offered, swinging their joined hands between
them. “Jasper,” Camila beckoned the small dog who was sleeping
on the floor by the door. He stood up slowly and wandered over
to Camila’s feet where she bent down and picked him up. “Good
boy,” Camila praised, lifting him up and kissing him on top of the
head gently, stroking him with her other hand which she’d
separated from Lauren’s in order to pick him up. “At least he
shouldn’t run off and disappear like he used to,” Lauren mused,
observing the small dog as he rested in the crook of Camila’s arm.
“Shame the same can’t be said for my sister,” Camila joked and
Lauren laughed in response as the pair of them made their way
downstairs towards the kitchen.
 Chapter 64
A/N: Umm….yeah, no idea what this is but I hope you enjoy it.
Anyway… happy new year everyone! Hope 2014 is amazing for
you all! Having descended the stairs, Camila and Lauren entered
the kitchen to find Sofi sat eating a bowl of cereal at the counter.
Sinu was stood at the sink washing up her own breakfast things
whilst humming to herself tunefully as she glanced through the
window and observed the traffic passing by outside. Camila
paused just inside the door in order to hand Jasper over to Lauren
before continuing towards where her sister sat. “Hey Sofi,” Camila
said, placing a hand on the young girls shoulder and drawing her
attention immediately. “Lauren and I are going to take Jasper
down to the park for a walk and we were wondering whether you
wanted to come with us.” “Me?” Sofi asked, pointing to herself
uncertainly. “Yeah,” Camila laughed. She reached up a hand and
stroked the dark hair at Sofi’s temple affectionately. “You are Sofi
aren’t you?” Camila asked feigning confusion and she scrunched
up her face so that her eyebrows knitted together. “Yes silly,” Sofi
answered glancing over at her mom who had turned around and
now stood facing them, her back resting against the counter
behind her. Her posture was relaxed and she smiled warmly at her
daughters, her arms crossed over her chest and the tea towel
she’d been using to dry up the dishes still in her hand. “Ok good,”
Camila said as she moved her hand down to rest against the side
of Sofi’s neck. “I wasn’t sure. You look a little different this
 morning compared to yesterday. Have you grown?” “No,” Sofi
said grinning broadly. “You’ve shrunk.” “I have?” Camila asked
sounding surprised. “I guess I should make sure I eat more
vegetables in future then.” “Vegetables don’t make you grow
taller.” Sofi responded, sounding highly unconvinced. “Of course
they do,” Camila said as she leant closer to her sister and
whispered in her ear conspiratorially. “Why do you think they
taste so bad?” “I hate vegetables,” Sofi complained, making a
face. “Me too,” Camila whispered to her sister once more before
straightening back up again. “You’re going out?” Sinu asked
Camila, wiping her hands with the dish cloth that she held in
them. “Yeah, is that ok?” she asked turning around to answer her.
She placed her hands on the kitchen counter for support.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 2/14 “Where were you thinking of going?”
Sinu asked, dropping the dishcloth on to the counter next to her
having finished with it. “We were just going to go down to
Simpson Park.” Camila answered. “It’s only a few blocks away…”
Sinu pushed away from the counter and stepped across the
kitchen so that she was standing opposite Camila. “You’ll take
your phone with you?” Sinu asked and Camila nodded her head.
“Yeah and Lauren will be there if anything happens,” Camila
reassured her. “I know that you’re worried about me now with my
heart but the doctors said I was alright, they would have admitted
me otherwise.” “Have you at least thought any more about having
 treatment?” Sinu asked, lifting an eyebrow questioningly as she
rested one of her hands on top of Camila’s. Camila cast a quick
look in Lauren’s direction and met her girlfriends’ green eyes for a
brief moment. “I’m going to do it,” Camila told her mom,
returning her gaze back towards her. “The doctor said
cardioversion was the best treatment for it so it makes sense for
me to have it.” “Really?” Sinu asked her unconvinced but
squeezing Camila’s hand in her own. “You will?” “Yeah,” Camila
confirmed. Sinu took hold of Camila’s hand properly and brought
it to her lips so that she could kiss it. “Thank you,” Sinu said and
Camila smiled at her. “You didn’t think that I would agree to do it,
did you?” She asked knowingly and Sinu pretended not to know
what Camila was talking about, assuming an air of obliviousness.
She released her daughter’s hand to fuss over Sofi’s now empty
bowl, picking it up and taking it over to the sink to wash. “You and
Lauren are both as bad as each other.” Camila commented,
placing a hand on Sofi’s shoulder again in response to her mom’s
silence. “Wait, what did I do?” Lauren asked from behind her. “I
never said anything…” “You didn’t have to,” Camila laughed,
twisting her head to get a better look at her girlfriend. “I could tell
that you were ready to try and convince me when you came up to
my room. You are so obvious sometimes.” “Sorry,” Lauren
apologised. “It’s only because I care about you though.” “I know,”
Camila reassured her. “I care about you too.” Sofi said, tugging on
Camila’s sleeve. Camila returned her attention to her sister,
smiling brightly. “You do? Camila asked and Sofi nodded her head.
“Good,” she said lightheartedly, squeezing Sofi’s shoulder again,
‘because you’re my favourite person you know.” “You’re not my
favourite,” Sofi said hopping down off the stool and walking over
to Lauren. “Jasper’s my favourite person.” Sofi held up her hands
expectantly, waiting for Lauren to hand Jasper to her and Camila
rolled her eyes at being slighted. “Jasper isn’t a person.” Camila
said sullenly as she walked over to where her sister now stood
beside Lauren, Jasper safely in her small arms. “Yes he is.” Sofi
said. “He’s clever like a person. He can follow orders and he
listens like a person. He gives you kisses when you’re sad too…”
Camila gave Lauren a disbelieving look and shook her head
amused. “How can you argue with that?” she asked and Lauren
grinned in response. “I don’t think you can.” Lauren told her
laughing.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 3/14 “Am I at least your second favourite
person?” Camila asked her sister and Sofi stepped over to her
sister and handed Jasper to her. Camila took him, a puzzled
expression on her face which disappeared when Sofi wrapped her
arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. She nodded her
head against Camila’s side and the older girl lowered a hand to
stroke her head caringly. “You’re my favourite ‘real life’ person.”
Sofi told her, kissing the side of Camila’s hip quickly as her older
sister continued to stroke her hair. “So are you going to come to
 the park with me and Lauren?” Camila asked her and Sofi lifted
her eyes to look up at her sister. “Yes,” she answered. “Can Itake a
ball to throw for Jasper?” she asked. “Sure,” Camila agreed,
pushing lightly on the spot between Sofi’s shoulder blades with
one hand to encourage her towards the door. “Why don’t you go
get one and I’ll get your sweater from the hall?” “Ok,” Sofi said,
disappearing off to do as she was instructed. “So you’re alright
with us going?” Camila asked her mom, having not completely
clarified the point earlier. Camila handed Jasper back to Lauren
and started to walk over towards the sink where her mom was
just finishing with Sofi’s things. “Yes,” Sinu said from her position.
“Of course it’s ok. Go and have a good time,” she continued. “Just
make sure that you look out for each other.” “Don’t worry.” She
said. “Lauren will call you if I drop dead of a heart attack so that
you know not to prepare any dinner for me.” Camila tried to joke
but Sinu didn’t look impressed. “Can you please not say things like
that?” she chastised kindly and Camila walked around the counter
to kiss her mom on the cheek. “I’ll be fine.” Camila reassured her.
“Are you wearing your medical alert bracelet?” Sinu checked with
her, concerned. “Yes.” Camila said sighing audibly as she lifted up
her wrist to show her mom the bracelet. “Lauren will be with me
too,” she reminded her. “If I have a seizure then she’ll call an
ambulance. She knows what to do.” “I know that you think I fuss
over you too much but I’m your mom,” Sinu said
compassionately. She paused for a moment and turned to face
 Camila properly. “It’s my job to worry about you girls.” She said,
kissing her daughter on the forehead, over her scar, one hand on
the youngsters shoulder. “You seem to worry more about me
then you do about Sofi that’s all,” Camila responded, placing a
hand on her mom’s upper arm and rubbing it lightly. “Yeah, well
when Sofi is a teenager I’m sure I’ll worry about her just as much.”
Sinu said and Camila lifted up one corner of her mouth in a half-
smile at her mom’s response. “That’s not why you worry about
me and you know it,” Camila commented, patting her mom’s
upper arm for a moment before walking back over to Lauren just
as Sofi reappeared in the doorway, a tennis ball in her hand and
her sweater already on. “I said I’d get that for you.” Camila said
lightly as she crouched down in front of her sister to fasten the zip
on Sofi’s hoodie. “You were too slow.” Sofi said, holding up the
tennis ball for Camila to inspect. “Is this one ok?” she asked
enthusiastically. “That one,” Camila said, making a show of
looking at the ball closely and taking it in her hand for a moment,
“looks perfect. Good job.” She praised, handing the ball back to
Sofi. Camila stood back up and placed a hand between Sofi’s
shoulder blades. “Hey, can you show Lauren where Jasper’s leash
is?” she asked her sister.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 4/14 “Ok,” Sofi said without hesitation and
she ran off in to the hall again, Lauren following closely after her.
She paused in the doorway for a moment to give Camila a
significant look and the smaller girl put a hand against the small of
her back encouragingly. “I won’t be a minute,” Camila reassured
her and Lauren cast a quick glance back in Sinu’s direction before
heading out the room in search of Sofi. “I’m sorry,” Sinu said
when they were alone and Camila had returned her attention to
the older woman. “I know that we’ve talked about this before and
I’m trying to be better but it’s difficult for me,” she explained. “I
can’t help but worry about you mija. The last ten months haven’t
been easy for you but they’ve not exactly been a walk in the park
for your dad and me either.” She continued. “We worried about
you even before the accident, that’s what parents do, and now
with all your problems…” she trailed off. “You’ll understand when
you’re older and you’ve got children of your own.” “Can we talk
about this later?” Camila asked, bringing a hand up to her head
and Sinu nodded. “Sure,” Sinu answered somewhat nervously,
afraid that she’d upset her daughter. Camila forced a smile on to
her lips and walked back over to her mom, wrapping her arms
around her shoulders quickly in a hug, her chin resting in the
crook of the older woman’s neck. “I’ll look after Sofi,” Camila
promised her and she felt her mom’s arms venture round her
back to embrace her, the damp from her hands seeping through
Camila’s shirt. “I know that,” Sinu assured her. “Itrust you with
her.” Sinu stepped back to separate them and took hold of
Camila’s face in both her hands. “I love you,” Sinu told her simply,
kissing her on the forehead again. “I know I’m annoying…” “You’re
 not,” Camila said sincerely. “I am,” Sinu laughed, “but every child
thinks that about their parents at some point or another.” Camila
truly smiled this time and she kissed her mom goodbye once
more. “Ilove you too.” She told her and Sinu patted Camila on the
side of her neck pleased. “Ok, now go,” Sinu said. “We’ll talk
properly later if you still want to.” Camila nodded her head and
turned to join the others’ in the hallway, finding Sofi standing
eagerly by the door, Jaspers’ leash in her hand and the tennis ball
she wanted to bring protruding from the pocket of her hoodie.
Lauren stood next to her and the two of them were talking
animatedly about Dinah, Sofi explaining to Lauren how the older
girl had convinced her to try ice cream and sweetcorn the last
time she was here. “It was horrible,” Sofi told Lauren, making a
face. “I don’t know,” Lauren said, lifting her eyes from the young
girl to look at Camila when she noticed her appearance. “It
doesn’t sound too bad. It sounds like it might taste nicer than
broccoli.” “Eww, I hate broccoli,” Sofi commented, her mouth
pursing with dislike. “It was actually alright,” Camila noted, placing
a hand on the front door and opening it. She guided Sofi through
with one hand and Lauren gave Camila an amused look. “You tried
it?” she asked and Camila smiled. “Of course,” Camila answered.
“It had ice cream in it.” “Yeah, but it also had sweetcorn,” Lauren
laughed as she stepped through the door and out on to the porch
step. “I know,” Camila replied frowning. “Dinah has been eating
some weird things recently. I don’t know what’s gotten in to her.
 “Maybe she’s pregnant,” Lauren commented, turning around to
move down on to the garden path in order to allow Camila to step
outside and close the door behind her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 5/14 “Yeah right,” Camila returned, secretly
feeling a sudden rush of doubt fill her mind at her girlfriend’s
words. She made a mental note to speak to Dinah about it later
on. Camila stepped down on to the garden path and saw Sofi
wander towards the sidewalk quickly. “Sofi wait there a moment,”
Camila called after her sister and the younger girl stopped where
she was and waited for the other two to catch up. “You can go on
ahead a little bit with Jasper if you want,” Camila told Sofi when
she reached her, “but you have to stop before crossing any roads
alright?” “Ok,” Sofi agreed. “Stay where I can see you.” Camila
instructed and Sofi nodded her head in acknowledgement before
bouncing on a little way ahead, Jasper hot on her heels. Lauren
linked arms with Camila and the smaller girl entwined their hands
together as they made the short walk to the park which was only
a few blocks away. “Can you pick me up?” Sofi asked Camila,
stopping just as they reached the entrance to the park. “Sofi I
can’t,” Camila said sadly as she stood back up from releasing
Jasper from his leash, which she quickly took back from Sofi and
tucked away in her pocket. The small puppy meandered off to
sniff around the large open space before them and Camila took
hold of her sister’s hand in her right. “You know that I would if I
 could” she told her sister honestly, glancing down at her. “You
don’t want me to drop you do you?” “Yes,” Sofi said with a
mischievous grin on her face. “It’ll be fun.” “You could hurt
yourself though,” Camila said seriously. “Like you did?” Sofi asked
her and Camila shook her head. “No, not like that but I’m
supposed to be looking after you.” Camila told her. “I need to get
you home in one piece.” “Can you just swing me around then?”
Sofi asked, jumping on the spot energetically as Jasper ventured
back towards them and disappeared a little way ahead again.
They continued to walk in to the park together, Sofi holding one
of Camila’s hands and Lauren’s arm still entwined with her
girlfriend’s other one. “Sofi…” Camila started. “Hey listen,” Lauren
interrupted, releasing her girlfriends’ arm and walking around to
stand on the other side of Sofi. “Why don’t you hold on to my
hand?” “Ok,” Sofi agreed as she took hold of Lauren’s hand left
hand with her free one. “Like this?” she asked and Lauren
nodded. “Yeah, just like that.” She said cheerfully. “You wanted to
swing right?” “Yes!” Sofi said enthusiastically and Camila looked at
Lauren. “What are you doing?” Camila asked and Lauren lifted her
hand which held Sofi’s and nodded at her girlfriend’s. “We can
swing her between us.” Lauren told her. “That’s your good arm
isn’t it?” “Yeah it is,” Camila said hesitantly, “but, what about your
ribs?” “They were broken on my right side,” Lauren reminded her.
“Besides, they don’t hurt anymore.” “Sofi isn’t light,” Camila said
pointedly. “I don’t want you to injure yourself again.” “I’m fine,”
 Lauren said and Sofi bounced up and down on the spot
expectantly, turning to her sister. “So I can swing?” she asked
hopefully and Camila tensed her right arm, trying to get a feel for
her sister’s weight. “Come on Camz,” Lauren encouraged her.
“She’ll be fine.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 6/14 “Yeah, come on!” Sofi said excitedly
and Camila smiled at how much of a bad influence Lauren was
being. “Fine, but, just one,” she said, giving Lauren a look. “Just to
see what it’s like…” “Ok,” Lauren said crouching down to address
Sofi, her voice quiet and secretive. “So this is what you’ve got to
do. We’re going to swing our arms back and you have to run
forward as fast as you can with them and then lift up your feet
ok?” “Yes!” Sofi answered eagerly as Lauren stood back up again.
Sofi squeezed Camila’s hand ready and the older girl glanced at
Lauren uncertain about either of their ability to do this without
injuring at least one out of the three of them, if not everyone.
“Trust me,” Lauren said and Camila gave a small nod, knowing
that she didn’t trust anyone more than she trusted her girlfriend.
“Ready?” Lauren asked Sofi and the young girl nodded, stepping
back for a moment with the movement of the two other girl’s
arms. She launched herself forward in time with Lauren and
Camila’s arms, picking up her feet as they swung her small body in
front of them for a moment so that her legs were flying through
the air. When Sofi returned back to her starting position again,
 feet firmly on the floor between Lauren and Camila she jumped
up and down gleefully, a broad grin on her face as she giggled
musically. “Again!” Sofi shouted happily, clinging on to the two
older girls’ arms tightly. Lauren looked at Camila who was wearing
just as big a smile on her face as her sister, evidently pleased at
Sofi’s joy. “Can you do it again?” Sofi asked pleadingly, tugging on
Camila’s right arm. “Sure we can,” Lauren answered for her
girlfriend and Sofi turned to her momentarily. Camila started
walking after Jasper and Lauren matched her pace, the two of
them swinging Sofi between them as they followed him around
the park. The three of them continued to stroll around the grassy
area after Jasper for a while until Camila’s arm began to ache and
Sofi got bored of their current game, instead wanting to be
chased around. “I can’t, I’m sorry,” Camila told Sofi, placing a
hand over her chest significantly. Sofi stuck out her bottom lip in a
pout which Lauren thought made her look remarkably like her
older sister. “You’re too quick for me anyway,” Camila said
playfully, squeezing her sister’s small hand in her own. “You’re not
too quick for me though,” Lauren said and Sofi squealed, releasing
Camila’s hand to try and run away from the tall brunette. Camila
sat herself down on the grass for a rest and watched the two of
them chase each other around the park, the knuckles of her right
hand kneading over her sternum until the chest pain dissipated
again. As much as it pained Camila to have to sit on the side lines
and watch her sister have fun with yet someone else that wasn’t
 her, she was glad to see how happy Lauren’s attention was
making her and grateful that her girlfriend had suggested bringing
her along. She laughed when she saw Lauren catch up to Sofi and
pull her into her arms, tickling her stomach furiously until the
small girl squirmed out of her clutches once more and sprinted off
again to initiate the chase again. “Jasper,” Camila called, her eyes
falling on her Springer Spaniel puppy just off to the right who
turned his head to look at her at the sound of his name. “Come
here boy,” she beckoned and he scampered over towards her,
jumping into her lap as she sat with her legs stretched out in front
of her. Camila scratched him behind the ear roughly and then
pushed him playfully over on to his back in the grass beside her in
order to rub his stomach. Jasper let her stroke him like that for a
while and then flipped himself back over quickly, springing back in
to her lap and pouncing up to lick at her face. “Help!” Camila
heard Sofi shout and she pushed Jasper away from her lightly in
order to look over at her sister, her heart leaping in to her chest at
the sound of the call, but settling almost instantly when her eyes
finally found her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 7/14 A little way off in to the distance,
Lauren had caught Sofi and was now sitting on top of her tickling
her stomach, the small girl trapped beneath her body weight.
Camila leant down to pick up Jasper and directed him in their
direction, holding him up in her hands so he was standing on his
 back legs. “Look at those two idiots,” Camila commented, kissing
him on the side of the head quickly and releasing him again so
that he could amble off. After she’d released him, Camila lay on
her back, bending up her knees so that her feet were flat on the
floor. She placed her hands over her stomach and looked up at
the sky, watching the white fluffy clouds pass by overhead for a
while until her eyelids became heavy and she closed them and
basked in the suns’ warmth. “Are you ok?” Camila heard Lauren
asked about five minutes later, her girlfriends’ body blocking out
the sun so that she was covered in shadow for a moment. “Yeah,”
Camila said, squinting up at her. “I’m just resting for a moment.”
Lauren sat down on the grass beside Camila and then lay down
next to her, her legs stretched out in the opposite direction to her
girlfriends’ so their heads were level. “I brought you something,”
Lauren said and she held a flower in front of Camila’s face. Camila
took the yellow flower from Lauren gratefully and lowered it to
her face in order to smell it. “Thank you,” she said, turning her
head so that she was looking at Lauren. “You’re welcome,” Lauren
told her. “Where’s Sofi?” Camila asked and Lauren tilted her head
to look behind her. “She’s playing fetch with Jasper,” Lauren
answered. “She’s ok for a moment.” Lauren paused for a moment
and met Camila’s eyes again. “She’s kind of worn me out.” Lauren
admitted. “She’s a handful,” Camila laughed. “I think she has
more energy than Dinah does. That’s why it’s good to leave the
two of them together. They tire one another out.” “Did your chest
hurt?” Lauren asked Camila and she nodded honestly. “Ithought I
should sit down for a minute.” She informed her. “I was watching
the clouds before. They’re kind of weird when you look at them
for too long.” She noted. “Did you use to play that game when
you were younger?” Lauren asked her. “You know…the one where
you try to see different shapes in them?” “Sometimes,” Camila
said, “I didn’t really have the patience for it very often. I preferred
running around to sitting still.” “Surprising,” Lauren teased and
Camila reached up her arm and hit her playfully on the head. “I
used to love that game.” She admitted, rubbing at her temple for
a moment. “I swear I saw shapes and objects even when they
weren’t really there.” “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with
that,” Camila said. “It just means you have a really good
imagination that’s all.” “You’re the one that had an imaginary
boyfriend,” Lauren chuckled. “Raphael wasn’t it?” “Can you not
bring that asshole up?” Camila joked. “He broke my heart you
know. I mean, how dare he be imaginary…I’d already planned our
wedding and everything. I owed a lot of imaginary people money
because of that shithead. I had to take on a new identity just to
escape the loan sharks.” “You’re so weird.” Lauren chuckled.
“God, why do I let people see us hanging out together? You’re not
good for my reputation you know? I lose massive amounts of cool
points every time we’re together in public.” “Wow, you must be
deep in to the negative numbers by now then,” Camila
commented smirking as she looked up at the clouds above her
 again. “You know, what with starting at zero and everything.” “I
can’t believe you just said that,” Lauren said, “I’m cool. You’re just
too much of a dork to realise it. I think we’re going to have to
break up immediately to be honest. I don’t
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 8/14 need to take this abuse from you.” “If
anyone in this relationship is cool it’s me.” Camila said. “Didn’t
you hear what Sofi said? I’m her favourite ‘real life’ person. I
mean, that is literally the biggest compliment anyone is ever going
to get.” “You know what’s cute?” Lauren asked, twisting round so
that she was lying on her stomach. “You actually mean that.”
“What?” Camila said, pushing herself up and crossing her legs on
the grass as she cast a quick eye over to her sister who was
chasing Jasper around the grass happily. “No I don’t. I was joking.”
“Yes you do.” Lauren said copying her girlfriends’ posture and
taking Camila’s hands in her own. “It’s ok, Ithink it’s cute. You’re
really good with her Camz.” “No, I’m not,” Camila disagreed. “I’m
not good with her at all. You can play with her without needing a
second person to chaperone. She’d get so bored if it was just the
two of us. I can’t do any of the things she enjoys. Not like you and
Dinah can. You can chase her around and pick her up.” Camila
said. “I can’t do that. What kind of big sister can’t do those things?
I bet she wishes that she had a big sister like you instead.” “That is
not true,” Lauren told Camila, leaning forward a little bit. “I spoke
to her earlier you know and she asked me if you’d stop going to
 the hospital if she asked you to.” “She did?” Camila questioned.
“Yeah, she knows that it makes you sad when you go there and
she said that you don’t have to play with her if it means having to
go back to the hospital to get better. She said that you could
colour with her instead.” Lauren told her. “She loves you. She just
wants to spend time with you. She doesn’t care what you do, just
that you’re together.” Camila looked over at her sister who
crawling after the tennis ball she was rolling on the floor for
Jasper and smiled. “Thank you for thinking of bringing her with us
today,” Camila told Lauren, returning her gaze to her girlfriend’s.
“It really means a lot that you invited her out today. You’d be a
great mom. I mean, you’re so good with her.” “I think it’s because
I’m an older sister too,” Lauren noted. “I’m so used to looking
after Chris and Taylor. You just kind of get used to it. You’re the
same way with her even if you don’t think that you are.” “Do you
think about having kids in the future?” Camila asked interestedly.
“I mean, do you want any when you’re married.” “I hadn’t really
thought about it but, yeah, I think I’d love to have a proper family
when I’m grown up and settled down.” Lauren answered. She
paused for a moment to glance over at Sofi and check the
younger girl was alright. “What about you?” Lauren asked. “Do
you want kids?” “I don’t know.” Camila shrugged. “I’ve never
thought about that really either but my mom said something
about me understanding her perspective better when I have
children of my own but I don’t think it’d be a good idea really.”
“You don’t?” Lauren asked smiling at the compliment. “Why not?”
“Well, what if I drop them?” Camila asks. “I’m pretty sure that’s
not good for them. I mean, they’re fragile. What if I mess them
up?” “I hear babies have soft heads,” Lauren laughed. “They’ll
bounce right back.” Camila nudged Lauren at her teasing. “I’m
being serious.” Camila said. “Ijust don’t think I’d be able to look
after a child. What if I had a seizure and they accidentally
drowned themselves in the bathtub or set the house on fire?”
“You’d be fine,” Lauren reassured her chuckling. “Anything you
couldn’t do I would. We’d be a great team.” “What makes you
think I’d want to have kids with you?” Camila asked and Lauren hit
her on the arm firmly making her girlfriend laugh.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 9/14 “Why wouldn’t you want to have a kid
with me?” Lauren asked. “Have you seen the Jauregui genes?” she
teased. “We’re all stunning. Think of all the modelling we could
get them to do. We’d be rich. We’d never have to work another
day in our lives.” “We couldn’t have a kid together,” Camila said
seriously. “Not really. Biology doesn’t work like that.” “Well, I
could have a gorgeous kid and you could reap the benefits,”
Lauren laughed. “Either way it’s a winwin for you. No stretch
marks and endless money earning potential.” Camila remained
quiet and lifted the corner of her mouth up in to a half smile,
thinking about Dinah. “Camz you know I’m only joking right?”
Lauren asked. “If and when I do have kids it will be years from
now. I’m nowhere near ready to have children.” “No I know that,”
Camila said, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “I was just thinking that’s
all.” “What about?” Lauren asked and for a moment Camila
actually considered telling her but thought better of it. “Nothing
important.” Lauren smiled and reached a hand up to stroke the
scar above Camila’s left eyebrow with the pad of her thumb. “You
look better today,” Lauren noted, studying Camila’s face. “Your
speech is so much better than earlier this week, even despite all
the tests and things you’ve been having. I thought it might still be
bad.” She said meaningfully. “I’ve actually been sleeping,” Camila
told her, tilting her head slightly to rest in the palm of Lauren’s
hand. “I started taking my pills again and I’ve realised that I sleep
much better if I’m listening to certain songs in bed, so I’ve got a
playlist on my phone.” “What songs?” Lauren asked with interest.
“Our songs,” Camila said and Lauren smiled as she rubbed the
base of Camila’s thumb with her own, their hands still entwined in
her lap. “All of them.” “You’re not worried anymore?” Lauren
asked her. “About the trial?” Camila queried and Lauren nodded.
“Yeah I am still worried,” Camila answered. “I’m worried about
that and about my heart,” she continued. “I’m worried about
what’s going to happen when Rachel and David are back at school
tomorrow…” “Don’t worry about that,” Lauren said, waving her
hand dismissively. “I already have a plan.” “You do?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m going to avoid her like the plague.” Lauren laughed. “You
can only do that for so long you know?” Camila noted. “I don’t
think David or Rachel will be a problem for a while.” “Well, if they
are then let me know. I can arrange for my well trained guard dog
to rip out her throat if you need me to.” Camila joked. Lauren
looked over at Jasper who was rolling around on the floor with
Sofi playfully and frowned amused. “I don’t think that’s going to
be realistic,” she commented, shuffling closer to Camila and she
separated their hands to reach her arm up around the smaller
girl’s shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. “If worst comes to
worst I can always push her in front of an oncoming bus.” Camila
said neutrally. “Mean Girls huh?” Lauren asked and Camila
nodded. “Dinah and I watched it the other day.” Camila disclosed.
“Last resort would be that I’d punch her again. You never know,
maybe when I have my heart shocked something will go wrong
and I’ll get superpowers like Spiderman or the Hulk.” She
clowned. “Hey! Maybe I’ll be able to electrocute people. That
would be so cool.” Lauren chuckled and kissed Camila softly on
the lips, tugging her girlfriend closer to deepen it as Camila played
with the fingers of Lauren’s hand which were draped over
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 10/14 her shoulder. When they separated
Lauren noticed Camila’s other hand on her chest and looked at
her concerned. “I’m fine,” Camila reassured her. “It’s just
palpitations. They’ll be fixed in a month.” She paused for a
moment to stare into Lauren’s eyes. “I still think you’re the
problem anyway. Perhaps we shouldn’t kiss for a while.” Camila
threatened but Lauren was having none of it and leant forward to
kiss Camila firmly on the lips again, darting her tongue in to her
girlfriends’ mouth at the first opportunity. “Here,” Camila gasped
when they’d separated. She reached for Lauren’s other hand and
placed it over her chest so she could feel her heart. “Wow, that is
beating kind of fast.” Lauren said surprised. “Itold you,” Camila
responded. “Perhaps I should be a doctor. I clearly know more
than those idiots.” Lauren was about to say something in
response but Sofi reappeared, jumping on Camila’s back and
accidentally treading on her sisters left hand which she’d
slammed on to the floor to stabilise herself. “Shit!” Camila cursed,
pulling her left hand up to her chest and rubbing it protectively.
“Camz,” Lauren said and Camila turned to look up at Sofi who
looked shocked at her sister’s words. “You said a bad word,” Sofi
told her. “I know, I’m sorry Sofi,” Camila apologised. “You can’t
tell mom though ok? It has to be our little secret. I don’t want you
going around and saying it to people. It’s not a nice word.” “You
said it though,” Sofi said and Camila looked to Lauren for help but
didn’t get any. “I did, but, I didn’t mean to.” Camila tried to
explain. “It’s just that you accidentally hurt my arm and it’s really
painful.” Sofi scrunched up her face and for a moment Lauren had
no difficulty picturing a younger Camila doing the exact same
thing. Carefully, Sofi reached out to take Camila’s hand and she
bought it to her lips, kissing the sinewy scar there. Camila smiled
at this and pulled Sofi on to her lap as Jasper came to lie on the
grass in front of Lauren, tired. “Mom says that kisses always make
you feel better when you’re hurt.” Sofi explained, releasing
Camila’s hand. “Thanks.” Camila said gratefully, kissing Sofi on the
temple lightly. “That feels much better now.” “Do you think that
it’s better enough to push me on the swings?” Sofi asked, pointing
in the direction of the playground. “Or do you need to see the
doctor again first before you can do that?” she questioned. “If
not, then maybe Lauren can push me and you can watch how high
I can go.” Camila smiled sadly at Sofi’s request. “I’m not really a
very good sister anymore huh?” Camila responded, finally
speaking her fear aloud to Sofi and hugging her sister close for a
moment. “You’re the best big sister,” Sofi told her, kissing
Camila’s cheek. “You’re better than Stephanie’s sister. She’s really
boring and she shouts at us all the time when we go in to her
bedroom to play with her. You don’t do that. You always let me
come in to your room and watch movies with you. Plus,” she said,
pausing a moment to take a breath, “you dance with me to all the
happy songs on the radio and you make me laugh because you
dance funny not serious like Stephanie’s sister. Then I dance funny
as well because it feels better.” Sofi poked at the scar on Camila’s
forehead cautiously. “The other night you came and read to me in
bed and Stephanie’s sister definitely doesn’t do that.” Sofi
continued, studying the scar with curiosity. “It took you a long
time though because you were speaking really, really slowly,” Sofi
explained, “but I
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 11/14 didn’t mind that because it meant
that we got to spend longer together. Mama always rushes when
she reads my bedtime story but you take forever so I get to stay
up later.” “So you don’t mind if I can’t run around with you as
much anymore?” Camila asked her and Sofi looked at Lauren for a
moment before answering. “No,” Sofi said simply. “I don’t mind
that because we do other things instead. Like…we made that fort
in my bedroom and hid under it playing with my dolls
remember?” she asked, putting her hand against her cheek. “You
help me with my school work too…and we coloured remember?
We made that picture for mama and papa?” she clarified. “I don’t
mind if we don’t run because it hurts you and you’re sad when
you’re hurt…” Sofi paused for a minute thinking. “You’re happy
when you play though, just, not running… Maybe,” Sofi began
thoughtfully, “maybe you can play with Lauren because she
doesn’t run around as much as me. You’re always happy when
you’re with her. She makes you smile. So, she can run around with
me and play with you.” Camila and Lauren exchanged a look and
the taller of the two raised one of her eyebrows meaningfully, the
insinuation clear and making Camila chuckle. “Sofi,” Camila said,
shifting her sister’s weight in her lap. “Do you know what
happened to me?” Sofi looked at Lauren again before saying, “you
had an accident.” “Yes,” Camila confirmed. “I was hit by a car.”
“Did it hurt?” Sofi asked glancing towards the road and Camila
moved some of her sister’s hair out of her inquisitive eyes. “No, it
didn’t hurt Sofi,” she answered. “Sometimes I hear you screaming
though,” Sofi said quietly. “When I’m supposed to be asleep you
wake me up. Does it hurt then?” “No it doesn’t hurt,” Camila told
her. “It’s just scary that’s all.” “When I came to the hospital you
were sleeping and I was scared,” Sofi admitted. “Everyone was
sad, even Dinah and she’s never sad. She didn’t make me laugh
then. She didn’t tell me any jokes. You weren’t screaming then,”
Sofi told Camila. “I used to talk to you but you were asleep and
wouldn’t answer. Mama and papa wouldn’t let me hug you but I
wanted to because hugs always make me feel better when I’m
hurt.” “I would have liked a hug then,” Camila replied sadly, tears
stinging at the corners of her eyes. Sofi smiled and hugged Camila
now instead and the older girl reciprocated it gladly. “When you
went away I was scared that you wouldn’t come back,” Sofi said,
not relaxing her hold on Camila. “Mama said that you might not
come back and I was scared. Is that what it feels like when you’re
scared? Are you scared that you won’t come back?” “Yes,” Camila
admitted. “That’s exactly what it feels like Sofi. I’m scared I won’t
ever get to see you again. “Will you go away again?” Sofi asked
her, finally letting go of Camila’s neck to look at her again. Camila
frowned and looked at Lauren not sure what to say. Lauren put an
encouraging hand on Camila’s shoulder, smiling at her
supportively. “You know,” she said, moving her knee slightly, her
leg starting to go dead. “There will be times when we won’t
always be together, because I’ll go off to school or I might have to
go back in to the hospital.” She admitted honestly, “but,” Camila
said fiddling with the bracelet that she got Sofi for Christmas
which was around her sister’s wrist. “As long as you have this
bracelet and your memories of me I’ll always be with you” she
said brushing Sofi’s hair out of her eyes again. “I’ll always be
around just as long as you carry me in your heart the way that I
carry you in mine.” Sofi smiled merrily. “Really?” she asked
disbelieving. “Really,” Camila told her picking up her sister’s small
hand and placing it against her chest. “Can you feel that?” she
asked and Sofi nodded.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 12/14 “It’s going thump, thump, thump
really fast.” Sofi noted, moving her clenched fist as she said each
‘thump.’ “It’s beating,” Camila said, “and every beat has a
memory attached to it.” She continued to explain. “Memories of
you and Dinah and Lauren and everyone I’ve ever met during
those times that it’s gone thump, thump, thump.” “Like mine
does?” Sofi asked. “Right,” Camila said smiling. “Just like yours
does too.” She paused for a moment to rub Sofi’s arm, studying
her small sister closely. “So,” she continued. “Every second my
heart beats it means I can make a new memory of us, like this
moment now, right here.” Camila said, “It makes new ones and it
remembers all the old ones too. So, when it beats it keeps you
with me forever.” “What about if it stops beating?” Sofi asked and
 Camila felt a tear roll down her cheek. “Then you’ll still have me
right here,” she said prodding Sofi gently in the chest with her
index finger. “You’ll still carry me around in every beat of your
heart.” “What if mine stops beating too?” Sofi asked and Camila
smiled at her sister’s thirst for information. “Then that means
we’ll be together again.” Camila told her. “So we won’t need our
memories anymore then.” “You’re not going away again now
though?” Sofi asked and Camila shook her head. “No,” she said as
she felt Lauren’s thumb wipe at a tear that was slowly tracing a
path down her cheek again. “Not just now.” “Good,” Sofi
commented kissing Camila on the lips quickly and hugging her
again. “It’s no fun without you.” Camila hugged Sofi back, her chin
resting in the crook of her sister’s neck. “Ilove you Sofi,” Camila
said. “I love you too,” Sofi said happily jumping up again and
pulling on Camila’s hand. “Can we go to the playground now?”
Camila laughed and stood up slowly, crouching down for a
moment to reattach the leash to Jasper’s collar, the small puppy
lying in the grass. “Alright,” Camila agreed as Lauren stood up and
placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it supportively for a
moment before leaning over and kissing her girlfriend on the lips.
“You and your words.” Lauren muttered and Camila smiled.
“Remember that my heart beats twice as fast when you’re
around.” Camila said truthfully. “That means that you’re making
twice as many memories.” “You think you’re so smooth don’t
you?” Lauren asked, taking Jaspers’ leash out of her hand and
 Camila laughed. “I don’t think it.” She said meaningfully before
walking towards the playground with Sofi. Lauren shook her head
at Camila amused and caught up to her and Sofi so that they all
wandered over to the playground together. Lauren tied Jasper’s
leash to the railing outside when they reached it and he quickly
settled back down to sleep in the sun, tired from his running
around with Sofi earlier. Camila took Sofi over to the swings and
the small girl clambered on, Lauren taking the vacant one beside
Camila’s sister. Camila started to push Sofi back and forth on the
swing as best she could whilst Lauren gently rocked herself on the
spot watching the two of them. After a while, Sofi asked for
Camila to stop, the young girl eager to go and play on the climbing
frame. Camila acquiesced and brought the swing to a stop so her
sister could get off and Sofi wasted no time in running over to the
start her ascent. Camila moved over to where Lauren was sat on
the swing and stood behind her, wrapping her arms around
Lauren’s neck and leaning over her to kiss her on the cheek
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/71686773938/trialsand-
tribulationschapter64 13/14 lightly. “Are you going to push me?”
she asked and Camila smiled. “What’s it worth to you?” she
questioned seductively. “I could probably think of something.”
Lauren answered and Camila placed her hands on Lauren’s back
and pushed her carefully for a few minutes after which, she
suddenly grabs hold of the two chains and stops the swing
abruptly. Lauren grabbed hold of the chains herself for support
 and twists in her seat to look at Camila who planted a quick but
passionate kiss on Lauren’s lips, her tongue tracing her girlfriends’
bottom lips until she opened her mouth and deepened it. After a
moment, Camila parted them and sat on the swing next to
Lauren, the two of them rocking back and forth rhythmically,
twisting in them slightly to face each other. Lauren reached over
and took hold of Camila’s hand in her own so that she could play
with her fingers out of the usual habit. Camila put her other hand
over Lauren’s and smiled at her girlfriend for a moment before
looking over to where her sister was talking to another child in the
playground, a young boy with curly dark locks that matched her
own. “What are you smiling at?” Lauren asked her, her own face
breaking out in to an equally large grin. “I’m just happy.” Camila
admitted and Lauren lifted up their hands and kissed Camila’s
affectionately. “I’m glad,” Lauren said and Camila moved her
swing closer so that she could kiss her girlfriend again.
Chapter 65
A/N: So, I’m really sorry that this took so long but I basically wrote
half the chapter yesterday when I was having a shit time with my
family and it turned it into this mega fucking angsty chapter that
I’d never intended it to be. Anyway, I rewrote a lot of it today so
that it was what I’d originally intended which is why it’s taken me
longer to update. I hope you enjoy it anyway. Love you guys x
“Here we go,” Camila said unlocking the front door with her
house key once they’d made their return journey from the park,
 Sofi’s small hand clasped protectively in her own the whole way
whilst Lauren held on to Jasper’s leash, “home sweet home.”
Camila pushed the door open carefully and guided her younger
sister inside by their joined hands before following closely after
her. She turned and held the door open for Lauren who picked up
Jasper in her arms in order to unhook his leash from his collar as
she crossed the threshold. Once everyone was inside, Camila
closed the door gently behind them all and ensured that it was
secured properly in place. The three of them had remained at the
park for a further hour, Camila bouncing Sofi up and down on the
seesaw and Lauren chasing the young girl down the slide, before
they’d finally decided to call it quits and return back to the house.
As much as Camila hated to admit it, she was tired from the trip
and was keen to sit down on the sofa in front of the television for
the next few hours in order to recover. “Sofi why don’t you go and
give Jasper one of his dog treats,” Camila suggested, noting that
her sister had finished removing her shoes and was now hovering
expectantly nearby. “Ok,” Sofi agreed easily and Camila put a
hand on the top of her head in acknowledgement as her sister
disappeared in to the back room to retrieve a biscuit for the small
Spaniel. “Are you exhausted?” Lauren asked Camila as she
removed her own shoes and placed Jaspers leash on the table in
the hallway, “because I am.” She commented as she took a step
closer to Camila and dropped her chin against her girlfriends’
shoulder. Lauren wrapped her arms around Camila’s waist and
 pulled her in to a tired hug, sighing deeply. “I’m actually
exhausted.” She told Camila. “Sofi has a lot of energy for someone
so small.” Camila lifted up her arms, embracing Lauren in return
and she twisted her head to plant a delicate kiss against the side
of her girlfriend’s neck. “The only reason I’m hugging you back
right now is because I’m using you for support,” she confessed
jokingly and Lauren could envision Camila’s magnificent smile
without even needing to see it. “I don’t think I can stand for much
longer.” She disclosed. “I’m literally done.” “You’re done?” Lauren
asked chuckling softly as she leant back to meet Camila’s eyes.
“I’m done,” Camila repeated. “As soon as my butt hits the sofa
that’s it, I’m not moving for another three, maybe four hours at
the least.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 2/12 “That sounds amazing,” Lauren said
wistfully, resting her chin against Camila’s shoulder again. “Mind if
Ijoin you?” “What are you joking?” Camila asked her. “I’d planned
on using you as a pillow.” “Well, if you’re using me as a pillow
then what am I supposed to use as one?” Lauren laughed. “Sofi of
course,” Camila replied simply. “She’s just the right size and
everything.” As though aware that they’d been speaking about
her, Sofi reappeared from completing her assigned task and tried
to enclose both Lauren and Camila in her small arms as best as
she could, eager to join in with their hug. “That was quick,” Camila
noted separating herself from Lauren a little and tilting her head
 down to look at her sister. She moved one of her hands to rest
against Sofi’s back between her shoulder blades as Lauren twisted
slightly on the spot so that she could see the smaller girl too. “I
ran,” Sofi said enthusiastically as she glanced up at Camila. “Wow,
I bet you could win the Olympic gold medal you were so fast,”
Camila said sounding impressed. “I don’t want to win a Gold
medal,” Sofi answered and Camila laughed. “What? Why not?”
Camila questioned. “It wouldn’t match my bracelet,” Sofi said, her
voice extremely serious as she held up her wrist to flash Camila
the present that she’d gotten her for Christmas. “I like this
colour.” “I prefer silver too,” Lauren said, winking at Sofi who
beamed brightly at her in response. “Can we watch a movie
now?” Sofi asked them both, her eyes darting between Lauren
and Camila. “Yes,” Camila answered stroking her sisters’ hair with
her fingertips. “What do you want to watch?” she questioned.
“It’s your choice.” “I want to watch Finding Nemo,” Sofi shared
with them enthusiastically, bopping up and down on the spot as
she spoke. “Amazing!” Camila said, extricating herself from
Lauren’s hold for a moment to crouch down in front of her sister.
“Why don’t you go and set it up while me and Lauren get some
snacks?” “Ok!” Sofi answered excitedly before bouncing off in the
direction of the living room and disappearing from view. Camila
stood back up and smiled at Lauren happily. “You only agreed to
watch Finding Nemo because you think that you’re Dory,” Lauren
laughed, nudging Camila’s hips with her own playfully. “You say
 that like you don’t agree with me,” Camila responded impishly.
“Dory is a fish.” Lauren returned lightly. “She’s not just a fish but
she’s an animated fish.” She added thoughtfully. “You two are not
the same.” “Of course we’re the same,” Camila disagreed
laughing. “We’re both easily distracted, we both have problems
with our memory, both of us struggle to read but actually can
when we set our minds to it and,” she said, pausing for dramatic
emphasis, “most importantly, we’re both hilarious. I am Dory.
Dory is me. We are one.” “Now you sound like Yoda,” Lauren
chuckled. “Who’s Yoda?” Camila asked and Lauren shook her
head. “Never mind,” she said dismissively waving her hand. “Let
me help you with the drinks and things.” “No,” Camila said placing
her hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “I can get them myself thank you.”
“I’m not saying that I’ll do it for you,” Lauren objected good-
naturedly, “I’m just offering to help you carry them back in to the
living room.” She clarified. “Or have you
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 3/12 mastered the art of carrying three
drinks and what will probably be a large collection of snacks on
your own?” “Um, no not yet,” Camila admitted, “but it’s on my list
of things to accomplish right after I become a professional
gymnast and learn to paint bestselling pieces of art with just my
toes.” “You’re such a dork,” Lauren laughed as Camila started to
make her way in to the kitchen. Lauren shook her head amused as
she followed after her. “You don’t think I’d make a good
 gymnast?” Camila asked. “No, I think you’d be great…you
know…at the um…you know…the thing.” Lauren struggled and
Camila looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend, grinning
broadly. “Hey mami,” Camila said as she returned her attention to
the kitchen and spotted her mom sitting at the counter. “I didn’t
know you were in here.” Camila made her way over to the fridge
and pulled it open, extracting a large carton of orange juice from
the shelf which she placed on the kitchen counter for safe keeping
whilst she retrieved three glasses from the nearby cupboard. “Hi
Sinu,” Lauren greeted, stepping up beside Camila and opening the
carton in preparation to be poured. “Are you hiding out?” Camila
asked her mom, completely oblivious to the fact that she’d not
responded. Camila put the three glasses onto the counter in a line
and started to decant the bright orange liquid in to them carefully
one at a time. Once finished, she placed the cap back on and
returned the carton to the fridge, closing the door after her.
Camila turned back to the counter again and lifted up one of the
now filled tumblers to her lips, taking a large and grateful sip of
the cool elixir as she turned around on the spot to face her mom
again. “We had fun at the park this morning.” Camila disclosed,
leaning back against the kitchen counter and lowering her glass.
“Sofi found a new boyfriend and I’m already planning their
wedding.” She joked. “So you might need to buy yourself a new
hat to wear.” She teased. “They were so cute together though,”
Camila continued more seriously. “He was adorable. In fact, he
 kind of looked like her a little bit actually,” she realised rambling.
“He had dark wavy hair too. They could have almost been twins.”
She laughed. “You don’t have a secret son out there somewhere
do you?” Camila took a moment to study her mom closely when
there was still no greeting or response from the older woman and
she saw that her gaze was fixed firmly on something sitting on the
counter in front of her, just out of sight. “Are you alright?” Camila
asked her mom before casting a furtive glance in Lauren’s
direction. Lauren met Camila’s look with a small shrug as she had
a sip of her own drink and Camila took a step forward towards
Sinu, a frown forming on her face and her mom’s obvious
distraction. “Mami?” Camila said with a hint of concern in her
voice. “What’s….wrong?” she trailed off as her eyes fell on the
manila envelope which sat on top of the kitchen counter, a
sudden inexplicable sense of dread filling her at the sight of it.
“What’s that?” Camila asked, pointing to the envelope with her
free hand, her voice shaking despite her best efforts to try and
keep it neutral. Finally Sinu lifted her gaze to her daughter’s, the
fingertips of her right hand fiddling with the corner of the
envelope distractedly. “Mija,” Sinu said her voice calm but
somewhat hollow, evidently worried about something. “Perhaps
you should sit down for a minute.” She suggested. “I don’t want
to sit down,” Camila said sensing Lauren step up alongside her. “I
want you to tell me what that is. Is it what I think it is?” she asked.
“I mean, are those…that’s them right? The pictures…” Sinu
 nodded and stood up from where she’d been sat. “Mr Arnold
bought them round earlier whilst you were out,” she informed
Camila, leaving the manila envelope where it sat as she stepped
around the kitchen island and
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 4/12 started to close the distance between
the two of them. “He was passing through and thought that you
might want to…” “Have you looked at them?” Camila interrupted
quickly and Sinu nodded again. “Yes,” Sinu replied and Camila
took a step backwards, a look of indecision shadowing her face for
a moment. Camila had already known that she’d be able to view
the pictures of herself following her accident prior to them being
bought in as evidence at the trial. However, her parents had only
made the request yesterday and she’d been secretly hoping that
she would have a few days to mentally prepare herself for what
she might see before finally having access to them. Camila never
thought that they would appear on her doorstep the very next
day. “Ok,” she eventually said in response, ultimately making up
her mind what to do and turning around to face the counter again
in order to retrieve Sofi’s drink from where it sat. “Ok?” Sinu
repeated. “What does that mean? Are you alright? Don’t you
want to look at them?” her mom asked her and Camila shook her
head. “No,” she answered returning her attention to her mom.
“Not right now. I’ll…I’ll look at them later ok? I promised Sofi I’d
watch Finding Nemo with her so that’s what I’m going to do.
They’ll still be here when we’ve finished.” “Camila…” Sinu started
but the youngster already knew where the conversation was
headed and cut it off quickly. “I’m fine,” Camila said, the response
coming reflexively but surprisingly ringing true for a change.
Camila would be the first to admit that the sudden and
unexpected arrival of the pictures had taken her by surprise, had
shaken her even, but, despite still being anxious about how she’d
react to seeing them, Camila actually felt relatively at peace with
the idea, a morbid curiosity at what they contained piquing her
interest. She turned to look at Lauren and gestured to a low
cupboard on her right with the nod of her head. “Can you get
some popcorn and some chips out of there?” Camila asked her
and Lauren gave her a small, one sided smile proud of her
girlfriend’s response to the situation. “Sure,” she said, crouching
down and pulling out a bag of Butterkist popcorn and a couple of
bags of chips for them all to share whilst they watched the movie.
“Thanks,” Camila acknowledged gratefully as Lauren stood back
up. “Lauren, perhaps you could take those in to Sofi and give me
and Camila a moment alone?” Sinu asked pointedly. Lauren
glanced at her girlfriend but was unable to meet her eyes,
Camila’s now fixed firmly on her mom instead. “No,” Camila
responded quickly before Lauren even had a chance to answer,
her head shaking from side to side. “If you have something to say
to me then you can do it in front of Lauren,” she told her mom.
“I’ve already told you that I’m fine. Please don’t make this into a
 big deal when it isn’t.” “Camz it’s alright,” Lauren’s soft voice
encouraged. “Perhaps you should talk to your mom for a minute.
I’ll go and make sure that Sofi’s managed to set the DVD up
properly.” “No,” Camila repeated standing her ground for once. “I
don’t need to talk about anything. I’m alright. I promise. I’ve had a
really good day so far and I don’t want to ruin it. All I want to do is
sit down and watch a movie with my little sister and my girlfriend
so, can I please do that?” she asked her mom pleadingly. Sinu
didn’t say anything and Camila took her silence as agreement so
she stepped around her and headed out in to the hall carrying the
two glasses of juice in her hands. “Here you go Sofi,” Camila said
handing her little sister her drink and ruffling her hair playfully
now her hand was free. “Thank you,” Sofi replied gratefully, taking
a sip of her drink, both her small hands holding the heavy glass so
that she didn’t drop it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 5/12 “You’re welcome,” Camila
acknowledged, sitting down on the living room sofa beside the
sleeping form of Jasper who had curled up on to a ball atop one of
the cushions. Lauren descended in to the space next to Camila,
placing the bag of chips, popcorn and her drink on to the coffee
table as the smaller girl curled her legs up underneath her and
rested her side against the back of the sofa. When Lauren leant
back again, Camila shifted her position slightly and wriggled her
right arm behind Lauren’s back to enclose her waist, her side
 pressing against her girlfriend’s as she moved her head down to
rest against the brunette’s chest. Lauren sunk down in to the sofa
further and took hold of Camila’s left hand in her own, bringing it
in to her lap so that she could play with her fingers whilst her
other arm draped across Camila’s shoulders and held her tightly.
“Hey Sofi,” Camila said once they’d settled in position. “Are you
going to come up on to the sofa? Or are you staying on the floor?”
Sofi put her drink down on the coffee table and sprung up
energetically, grabbing the remote control and a stuffed toy from
the floor that Camila hadn’t noticed on entering. She bought it
over to the sofa with her and carefully clambered up in between
Camila and Jasper, wriggling her bottom back so she was sitting
on her sister’s feet, her legs stretched out in front of her and
resting on the table a few feet away. “You bought Ifos to watch
the movie?” Camila asked; separating her hand from Lauren’s for
a moment to take the small stuffed unicorn that Sofi had gotten
her for Christmas from her sister’s hand. Sofi nodded her head,
her broad grin flashing her bright pearly white teeth and causing
dimples to form in her cheeks. “Ifos wanted to watch too so I
went up to your room to get her.” Sofi told Camila and the older
girl smiled. “Well,” Camila said placing the stuffed toy in her
sister’s lap so that it was facing the TV. “Why don’t you look after
her for me.” She encouraged. “The same way that Lauren is
looking after you?” Sofi asked her, hugging the unicorn close to
her chest and kissing it on top of the head affectionately, trying to
 mirror her sister and Lauren’s posture. “Maybe not quite the
same way,” Camila laughed, stroking Sofi’s hair with her
fingertips. “Ok, well I’ll cuddle Ifos and you can cuddle with
Lauren,” Sofi said. “What about Jasper though?” Lauren asked Sofi
amused, glancing at the smaller girl. “He’s got no one to cuddle
with him now.” “Jasper is a boy,” Sofi said simply. “He doesn’t
need cuddles all the time especially not when he’s sleeping. Plus,
Stephanie said that boys can give you cooties if you get too close
to them.” She shared. “Is that why you have a girlfriend and not a
boyfriend?” she asked Camila. “Is it so that you don’t get
cooties?” Camila chuckled at her sisters’ question and she heard
Lauren do the same, her chest vibrating with the sound and
jostling Camila slightly. “No Sofi that’s not why.” Camila told her.
“Boys don’t have cooties.” “Dinah said that they do,” Sofi told
them both. “She said that boys are icky.” “I wouldn’t always
believe everything that Dinah tells you,” Lauren informed Camila’s
sister lightly. “She said that I should stay away from boys,” Sofi
responded with a puzzled expression on her face. “She said I’ll
want to kiss them and that would be bad because of the cooties.
She said kissing tasted like broccoli too and broccoli is really icky.”
“Well, what about that boy at the park?” Camila asked her. “He
wasn’t icky was he?” “No,” Sofi said thoughtfully, “but I don’t
want to kiss him just in case. Anyway he smelled funny.” “Do you
want to kiss people?” Camila questioned her sister interestedly. “I
want to kiss Ifos,” she said, kissing the stuffed pink unicorn once
 more on top of the head. “You don’t want to kiss anyone at
school?” Lauren probed also intrigued.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 6/12 “There was this one boy Jacob who
gave me some of his candy at lunch,” Sofi said blushing and
pulling Ifos in to her chest closer. “He smells nice and he is really
funny. His eyes are blue like your jumper,” Sofi told Lauren,
pointing to her sweater. “He said he’d kiss me but he thinks girls
have cooties too and I told him boys are icky and pushed him over
like Dinah told me to do.” “Oh my God Sofi!” Camila said,
chuckling. “You can’t push people over.” “He pushed me back,”
Sofi defended, “it was fun. We laughed.” Camila and Lauren
exchanged looks, both girls coming to the same conclusion. “Is
Jacob your boyfriend?” Lauren asked Sofi and the young girl shook
her head. “No,” Sofi said meeting the older girl’s eyes. “I don’t
think so but we sit together in class and he gave me a coin he
found on the floor the other day.” “What kind of coin?” Camila
asked and Sofi shrugged. “I don’t remember because I lost it.” She
answered, playing with Ifos in her lap distractedly, obviously
getting bored of the conversation and wanting to start the movie.
“Can we watch Finding Nemo now?” she asked and Camila
nodded. “Sure, start it up.” She instructed and Sofi pressed play
on the remote control to her side. “You can kiss Lauren if you
want to,” Sofi stated, her eyes never leaving the screen in front of
her as the credits began to roll. “I don’t think she has cooties
 because Dinah said that you love her and she told me that when
you love someone you have the same cooties so it doesn’t
matter.” “You don’t love Jacob then?” Camila asked her and Sofi
shook her head. “Dinah said that when you love someone you get
a text message so that you know and then you live together and
get married and have babies.” Sofi said. “That’s not exactly how it
works,” Camila shared with her sister. “It isn’t?” Sofi asked and
Camila shook her head. “No,” Camila confirmed. “You don’t get a
text message telling you who you love Sofi. It’s a feeling you get in
here,” she said, holding her hand to her heart. “Like the thump
thump thump?” Sofi asked swivelling to look at Camila. “Exactly
like that,” Camila said. “Your heart goes thump thump thump
when you see them and your tummy fills up with butterflies that
make you feel like this,” Camila explained, reaching her hand
forward and tickling her sister’s stomach to demonstrate. “Love
makes you smile and laugh at silly little things.” “I laughed at
Jacob the other day because he pulled a funny face at the
teacher,” Sofi said. “We always laugh together.” Lauren met
Camila’s gaze and wondered what her girlfriend was thinking
about her six year old sister having a crush on someone at school.
Camila had always said that she’d never had a crush on someone
before Lauren and the sad smile that appeared on her girlfriend’s
face at her sister’s words confirmed that to be true. “Well,”
Camila said, cupping Sofi’s chin with her free hand. “If you like
him then you should kiss him.” She said and Lauren nudged her
 girlfriend for encouraging her sister. “You won’t get cooties I
promise and you only live once. Why not make a few memories?”
“Heartbeat memories?” Sofi asked remembering their
conversation from earlier. “Right,” Camila said. “Camz,” Lauren
laughed entertained by her girlfriend’s comments. “What?”
Camila asked, turning her face to peer into Lauren’s green eyes
for a minute. “You never know, maybe Jacob is Sofi’s soul mate.
Maybe they’ll get married one day.” “They’re six,” Lauren stated.
“So what?” Camila said lightheartedly. “We’re only teenagers and
I know that I want to be with you forever. Who are we to get in
the way of true love huh?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 7/12 “You’re such a romantic,” Lauren told
her. “You’re a dorky, idiotic, clumsy, adorable, romantic.” She
said, kissing Camila on the forehead, her lips pressing against her
girlfriend’s right temple softly. “Can I get married in a castle?” Sofi
asked her mind still thinking back to what Camila had said a few
moments ago. “You can get married wherever you want,” Camila
told her. “Will you and Lauren get married one day?” Sofi asked
glancing between the two girls. “I don’t know, maybe.” Camila
replied, looking over at Lauren. “I hope you get married and have
little baby Camila’s and little baby Lauren’s.” Sofi said, playing
with Ifos in her hands. “Will you just have girl babies because
you’re both girls?” she questioned uncertainly and Lauren
beamed brightly, a deep throaty chuckle escaping her lips. Camila
 smiled too at the question. “No, it doesn’t quite work like that.”
Camila responded. “I think you should get married in a castle,”
Sofi continued on. “You can wear a big princess dress and dance
together.” Camila leant down and kissed Sofi on the top of the
head. “Are you going to watch the movie?” Camila asked her and
Sofi nodded. “I was but you two were talking,” Sofi grumbled.
“You’re so noisy.” Camila rolled her eyes amused as her sister
settled back in to the sofa and got comfortable, her eyes once
again fixing themselves on the screen in front of them as Nemo
defied his dad to touch the side of the ship. Lauren pulled Camila
closer in to her side and she lifted her face to look at her
girlfriend, smiling brightly as their eyes met. Camila entwined
their hands once again and Lauren began to play with her fingers
subconsciously. “Do you want to get married in a castle?” Lauren
asked Camila playfully. “No,” Camila answered. “I don’t think so.
I’m not really in to whole big white wedding thing.” “No,” Lauren
agreed, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “I can picture you on a
beach somewhere.” “White sand, blue skies and a warm breeze,”
Camila agreed. “Sunlight reflecting off the waves…yeah, that
sounds more like it.” “You wouldn’t have a big wedding party,”
Lauren mused. “Just a few select friends and your family.” “There
would be someone playing an acoustic guitar,” Camila continued,
giving the scenario some real thought. “That sounds nice,” Lauren
admitted, picturing the scene in her head. “Do you want to get
married in a castle?” Camila asked Lauren. “I want to marry you.”
 Lauren said simply, her eyes fixed firmly on Camila’s. “So I should
probably be where you are.” “You want to marry me?” Camila
asked and Lauren quirked one corner of her mouth up in a smile.
“One day.” Lauren said, dropping her eyes to Camila’s hands.
“Yeah, one day I’ll marry you.” “What makes you think I’d say yes
if you asked me?” Camila teased. “What makes you think I’d be
the one to ask?” Lauren countered. “You’d ask.” Camila replied
confidently. “I mean, look at me. I’m adorable. Why wouldn’t you
ask me?” Camila paused for a minute thinking.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 8/12 “Wait, is it because you’re cheating on
me? Oh my God, you are aren’t you? You’re cheating on me with
that stripper from the club a couple of blocks away. You met her
that time I sent you out for groceries because we’d run out of
diapers for little baby Cheechee but, she ran off with a load of our
savings so now you feel obliged to marry me because you need
some financial security. I see your game Lauren Jauregui.” Camila
joked. “You’re such a dumbass.” Lauren laughed amused. “If
anyone is going to cheat it’d be you. Your memory is so crap you’ll
probably forget we’re together and then you’ll make out with the
janitor at whichever school it is that you’re working at.” “Are you
telling me that Dustin and I weren’t high school sweethearts?”
Camila said, playing along with the joke. “Jesus, if that’s the case
we did some seriously questionable things in the storage closet
that I am suddenly starting to regret.” A face eating smile
engulfed Lauren’s face. “That’s ok,” Lauren said, kissing Camila on
the lips quickly. “I forgive you for your infidelity Mrs Jauregui. I
mean, it’s only fair seeing as how I let the stripper I was seeing
steal all of our money.” “Mrs Jauregui?” Camila said. “I wouldn’t
take your name. I can barely spell it. You’ll have to take mine.”
“Lauren Cabello?” Lauren asked, laughing. “That doesn’t sound
right.” “We could hyphenate it?” Camila suggested. “Cabello-
Jauregui?” Lauren asked. “Oooh, or we could like combine them!”
she said enthusiastically. “Like Camren?” Sofi asked, having
apparently been eavesdropping. “Kind of,” Camila answered.
“Cabregui? No.” she said, shaking her head. “Jaurello? No.”
“Elloja?” Lauren offered. “No….” Camila said wistfully. “Reguica?”
“Ok, I don’t think merging them works.” Lauren chuckled. “What
about Jabello?” Camila asked. “That has a nice ring to it. Sounds
like some kind of branded Jelly.” “You would like it if it reminds
you of food.” Lauren laughed. Camila was about to say something
else but she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye as her
mom came in to the room. The older woman leant back against
the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked
over at the three assembled girls and smiled at the sight of them
all sat together on the sofa. Camila met her eyes and smiled back,
wondering whether her mom was upset with her for the way that
she’d walked out of the kitchen earlier and refused to talk about
the pictures which more than likely still sat atop the kitchen
counter. Camila saw her mom nod her head ever so slightly to
herself before she turned around and disappeared outside again,
evidently pleased with what she’d seen. “That was weird.” Camila
commented and Lauren looked at her. “She’s just worried about
you.” She said, the hand that was draped around Camila’s
shoulders caressing the skin their soothingly. “I’m fine.” Camila
said and Lauren squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I believe you.”
She told her, because it was the truth. “I thought you handled the
whole thing really well. I’m so proud of you.” “I haven’t looked at
them yet.” Camila noted. “No, but you recognised that you
weren’t ready to look at them and you put the present over your
past. That’s huge Camz.” Lauren informed her. Camila’s face
erupted in to a large smile and she looked pleased at Lauren’s
compliment. “I guess it is.” She said happily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 9/12 “By the way, I’ll look at them with
you,” Lauren said matter of factly, meeting Camila’s eyes once
again. “When you’re finally ready then I’ll be there with you. If
you still want me there I mean.” “You will?” Camila asked her.
“Yeah babe,” Lauren said, bring her mouth closer to her
girlfriend’s and planting a quick kiss on her lips. “I will.” “Thank
you.” Camila responded appreciatively, snuggling against her
chest closer. “You’re welcome,” Lauren said, sinking in to the sofa
further and turning her attention to the screen, the two of them
finally settling down to watch the movie. At one point, Lauren
could hear Camila’s gently snores as she slept, apparently
 following through on her earlier threat to use her as a pillow, her
head still resting firmly against her chest and her long, dark, soft
locks hanging messily over her face. Lauren brushed a strand out
of Camila’s eyes and tucked it behind her ear, kissing her
girlfriends’ forehead lightly. “She always falls asleep during
movies,” Sofi said and Lauren looked over at the small girl who
was watching her. “She sleeps a lot now.” “I think you tired her
out at the park.” Lauren replied kindly. “You have a lot of energy
for a little person.” “Mama says it’s because I eat too much
sugar.” Sofi said and Lauren smiled as the young girl tucked Ifos
closely against Camila’s stomach. “You don’t want her anymore?”
Lauren asked. “No, Ifos is tired too.” Sofi replied, putting her hand
to her cheek thoughtfully. “She can take care of Camila now.”
“You think Camz needs taking care of?” Lauren asked Sofi and the
youngster shrugged. “When she is sick and hurt,” Sofi
acknowledged. “Ifos helps her to feel better.” “I think you’re
right.” Lauren said. “Camz has been getting a lot better since you
gave Ifos to her.” “Ifos sleeps with her so that she has nice
dreams.” Sofi shared with Lauren. “Ifos makes sure that she
doesn’t have any more scary nightmares.” “How?” Lauren asked
her interestedly. “Unicorns are magical silly.” Sofi said. “They have
special powers.” “Powers like what?” Lauren whispered
conspiratorially but actually interested to hear. “They can protect
you because they have an…an…au…aur…” Sofi struggled. “An
aura?” Lauren asked and Sofi nodded. “Yeah!” she said. “Plus, if
 they touch you with their horn than they can heal you too.” Sofi
whispered. “Is that why you got Ifos for Camz?” Lauren asked
feeling touched on her girlfriend’s behalf. “So that when she hugs
Ifos her magical unicorn powers can heal her?” “When she was in
the hospital at Christmas mama said she was sick and my teacher
was teaching us about dragons and unicorns and magic.” She
explained. “So when mama took me shopping I saw Ifos and
wanted to get her for Camila.” “Do you know why Camz called her
Ifos?” Lauren asked Sofi and the young girl shook her head. “It’s
because she reminds her of you. Ifos is Sofi backwards.” “It is?”
Sofi asked happily, looking at her sister and smiling pleased.
“Yeah,” Lauren told her. “She doesn’t need Ifos as much
anymore.” Sofi commented. “No she doesn’t because she’s
getting better,” Lauren said, “but she still loves her just as much
as before.” “No,” Sofi said. “It’s because she has you now.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 10/12 “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
frowning, confused. “Are you a unicorn Lauren?” Sofi asked her
voice dropping even lower as if she were asking her to confess to
knowing the meaning of life. “Why do you want to know?” Lauren
asked her, not answering definitively one way or another. “Ithink
that you are.” Sofi said shyly. “You do?” Lauren asked her. “Why?”
“You protect Camila like Ifos does,” Sofi told her. “Plus, you only
appeared after she was hurt and she’s better now since you
started coming round here. You’re always touching her.” Sofi
noted. “You healed her didn’t you? That’s why you hold her hand.
It’s because it’s your horn and that’s how you do it. That’s how
you make her better.” Lauren smiled brightly at the young girl’s
imagination and didn’t have the heart to tell her that it wasn’t
true. “You can’t tell anyone.” Lauren said to Sofi. “You have to
promise me ok? It’s a secret.” “I won’t.” Sofi promised turning her
attention back to the screen again. “Ilove this part.” Lauren said,
watching the movie. “Me too,” Sofi agreed. “You so totally rocked
Squirt!” Lauren said, mimicking the turtle from the movie’s voice
and making Sofi giggle. “So give me some fin,” Lauren said,
holding out her hand for Sofi to low five, which she did happily.
“Noggin’” Lauren mimicked, ducking her head forward and Sofi
clambered over Camila slightly in order to gently knock her head
against the older girl’s. “Dude.” Both Lauren and Sofi said
together laughing. Sofi clambered back over to where she was
sitting and Lauren felt Camila stir as her sister’s weight shifted.
Lauren saw Camila lift her heavy eyes up to look at her girlfriend,
a tired expression on her face which showed hints of momentary
confusion. “What did I miss?” Camila asked, reaching up her left
hand and rubbing at her eyes as she pulled her right arm out from
where it had been wrapped around Lauren’s waist. She grimaced
as she moved it, the arm having gone dead from being stuck
behind Lauren’s body. “Nothing,” Lauren told her as she stroked
her brow. “Sofi and I were just watching the movie.” Camila
turned her attention to the screen and smiled sleepily. “Ilove this
 part,” she mumbled. “Me too,” Lauren responded smiling as
Camila sighed contentedly. “In fact, it reminded me of
something.” “What?” Camila asked, still watching the TV. “When
we’re older, if we do ever, you know, get married and have
children I’m going to introduce them to everyone the same way
the sea turtle does in this movie.” Lauren joked. “How do they
introduce them again?” Camila asked, having missed that part of
the scene as she was still waking up. “They introduce them as
‘offspring,’” Lauren reminded her. “Oh,” Camila yawned. “Cool.”
She said. “Ilike that.” “You would,” Lauren said shaking her head
amused by her inability to tease her girlfriend. “Can we not just
name one of our kid’s offspring?” Camila asked. “That would
make it much funnier.” Camila tilted her head to look at Ifos who
was pressed up against her stomach and reached a hand to pick
the unicorn up. She glanced over at her sister who was watching
her and smiled.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72381122593/trialsand-
tribulationschapter65 11/12 “Hey,” Camila said sitting herself up
slightly. “You gave me Ifos back.” “She was protecting you from
nightmares.” Sofi said holding out her hand and Camila kissed the
stuffed toy on the top of the head before she handed it back to
her sister. “She was huh?” Camila said, placing her now free hand
on top of Sofi’s head. “She was using her magic.” Sofi said looking
up at Lauren significantly enough that Camila saw it. “Who
Lauren?” Camila asked and Sofi pretended to button up her lips
 and said nothing. Camila turned her attention to her girlfriend a
puzzled expression on her face. “Ok, what did I miss?” Camila
questioned, more alert now. “So much Camz,” Lauren said
laughing and casting a look at Sofi who winked at her. “So very
much.”
Chapter 66
A/N: Hey guys, so I’ve actually split this chapter because I want to
give you something before I go on holiday. I won’t have time to
update until I’m back so I hope that you enjoy this and everyone
has good week. When I’m back there will be the second half of
this chapter which will contain explicit scenes as promised (don’t
worry, I hadn’t forgotten). We’re getting steadily closer to the end
now and I just want to say thank you to everyone who takes the
time to read this story. You’re support has been amazing and I
think somewhat undeserved a lot of the time. You’re all so nice
and complimentary x Camila sat on her bed, her right hand
strumming mindlessly at her guitar as it had been for the last hour
and a half. It was Tuesday evening two days later and she was
home alone, her mom having taken Sofi to ballet practice and her
dad opting to stay late at the office in order to finish an important
presentation for work. She’d been trying to learn a new song, ‘I
Will Wait’ by Mumford and Sons but as usual, the fingers of her
left hand were clumsy and she struggled to form the correct
position to play the chords she needed to, her frustration growing
with every off key note that afflicted her ears. “Jesus,” Camila
cursed, resting her guitar across her lap for a moment, the neck of
it sinking into the duvet as she lay it down in order to flex the
fingers of her left hand which were complaining painfully. Camila
used the thumb of her right hand to massage the scar across her
left wrist and palm for a few minutes, her fingers kneading in to
the flesh there firmly, stretching it out. She sighed with relief as
she felt the tension in her taut muscles start to evaporate and the
pain in the tissue beneath her fingers ease significantly to the
point that she no longer felt as though her hand was in a constant
state of cramping. Finally, Camila shook the limb gently in the air
before her, loosening it further and once satisfied that she wasn’t
at risk of developing debilitating repetitive strain injury from
playing again and prolonging her hands use, she lowered it back
down and grasped hold of the guitar neck once more. She was
about to pick the guitar back up, to try and continue with what
was apparently an almost impossible task when her eyes fell on
the pine surface of her bedroom desk, to where the manila
envelope her attorney had delivered to the house on Sunday still
sat untouched. Camila slid the guitar on to the bed beside her and
stood up slowly, her eyes never leaving the envelope, her gaze
firmly fixed on the item which had been mocking her for the past
two days. After the movie had finished on Sunday and Nemo was
once again reunited with his dad, Camila’s mom had attempted to
get her to open the envelope Mr Arnold had bought to the house.
She’d pressed her daughter to finally look at the pictures of
 herself following the accident, to see the devastation that the
solid, one tonne vehicle had inflicted on her body in all its
gruesome and uncensored glory. Camila though, had other ideas
and despite the pressure from her mom, she would not ruin what
she believed had otherwise been an almost perfect day with
something that, on reflection, she considered to be both a little
bit morbid and potentially selfdestructive. So far, Camila had
managed to put off looking at the unpleasant images for two
days, but, as with everything else surrounding the accident, she
knew that she couldn’t delay
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trialsand-
tribulationschapter66 2/9 dealing with it forever and so she’d text
Lauren this morning and arranged for her to come round after
school to view the photographs with her. In fact, Camila had been
waiting for Lauren’s arrival now for almost an hour and a half, her
girlfriend apparently running late, her tardiness being the
inspiration behind Camila’s impromptu guitar practice which, if
the smaller girl was honest with herself, was nothing more than a
vain attempt at distracting herself from the impending task at
hand. Camila wandered over to the desk hesitantly and came to a
stop just in front of it, her hand drifting down so that her
fingertips could graze the surface of the manila envelope whilst
her eyes studied it thoughtfully. Silently, Camila debated opening
the packet and pulling out just the end of a picture; to reveal a
tiny portion of the image, so that she could have a quick look. She
 considered the benefits of previewing the photographs and
acquiring some idea as to their content and tone before Lauren
arrived. She thought it might be a good idea to have a sneak peek
at one of them, to give herself the opportunity to mentally
prepare herself for what was to come so that she would be better
able to suppress the urge that she’d probably have to be sick but,
as coincidence would have it, the doorbell rang downstairs and
Camila was both relieved and frustrated at her girlfriend’s timing.
On the one hand, Camila was grateful that Lauren had finally
arrived and that she didn’t have to deal with looking at the
pictures alone. Camila didn’t actually think she could face the task
by herself no matter how much she tried to convince herself that
she could, but, at the same time she didn’t want anyone other
than Lauren with her when she eventually decided to open the
envelope. Lauren was the only person that Camila would allow to
be with her when the time eventually came to face the harsh
reality of her injuries in brilliant glossy colour, despite having
originally told Lauren that she’d ask Dinah if she ultimately
decided that she didn’t want to or couldn’t face seeing them. The
truth was that if Lauren hadn’t agreed to Camila’s request to be
present then she would have looked at the photographs by
herself, sparing anyone else the thankless task. It wasn’t that
Camila didn’t think her parents or Dinah would have been
supportive or comforting because she knew that they would have
been. Camila was certain of it. No, it was more that she couldn’t
 bear the idea of watching them relive the agony that they’d felt
the first time that they’d seen her in that condition all those
months ago. Camila thought it would be difficult enough coping
with her own feelings, she didn’t think she’d be able to handle the
guilt she’d feel for being the cause of their pain too. Camila had
spoken about her guilt a lot whilst she was away at rehab. She’d
discussed it numerous times at length with her therapist in the
hopes of finally leaving it behind but she couldn’t, not completely.
It was better now than it had been then. Camila no longer blamed
herself quite so much for the sacrifices that her parents had made
to accommodate her disabilities and her problems. She didn’t feel
personally responsible for the amount of time that Dinah had
spent sat by her bedside when she could have been out doing
something else instead. Camila knew deep down that each of
them had made their own choices voluntarily, that their decisions
had been born out of love for her, but that knowledge didn’t
nullify how she felt and what she’d ultimately, albeit
unintentionally, put them through. Camila knew how much the
accident and her subsequent hospitalisation had upset those
closest to her and the ghostly echoes of her mom’s sobs through
the thin wall of her bedroom still haunted her to this very day,
ringing resonantly in her head whenever she tried to sleep. Camila
knew that her mom and dad had already studied the pictures but
luckily they’d not felt inclined to share their thoughts or feelings
regarding them with her, bar her mom’s initial attempt in the
 kitchen a few days ago, and for that she was eternally grateful.
Lauren however, didn’t know Camila back then. She’d never been
a part of her life at the time of the accident and although Camila
was sure that seeing pictures of her in that condition would affect
Lauren in some way, she was acutely aware that it wasn’t the
same as seeing it first hand. Whatever reaction her girlfriend had
to seeing the images would be easier for Camila to bear because
of that knowledge. On the other hand however, Camila really
wished that she’d had the opportunity to open the envelope and
catch a glimpse of one of the photographs before Lauren had
arrived. Camila clearly remembered how her body reacted to her
attorney’s answer machine message from a couple of weeks ago.
She recalled how she’d been sick at the mere thought of the trial
and having to view the macabre pictures of herself. Lauren had
seen Camila at some of the lowest points in her life. Her girlfriend
had literally picked her up off the floor, a sobbing, fragile wreck,
but, Camila really didn’t want Lauren to have to see her physically
lose control of herself. She didn’t want her to watch as she
vomited the contents of her stomach up all over the floor,
incapable of containing them
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trialsand-
tribulationschapter66 3/9 because she was so overwhelmed by
what she saw. For some inexplicable reason, Camila just couldn’t
make peace with the idea of Lauren having to witness that. Camila
knew that it was stupid and irrational but that’s how she felt. The
 doorbell rang again downstairs and pulled Camila from her
thoughts, reminding her that Lauren was waiting outside on the
porch for her to let her in. Camila reached over and picked up the
envelope on the desk before hurriedly exiting her bedroom to go
and open the front door. She descended the stairs carefully, one
step at a time, her right hand holding on the bannister for
support, the left clutching the manila packet tightly. When she
reached the door, Camila paused for a minute, her hand hovering
over the handle. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for an
instant as she drew the oxygen in to her lungs. She made a
concerted effort to put a relaxed smile on her face and exhaled
slowly in preparation to appear bright and unaffected by the
imminent task ahead. “Hey,” Camila greeted when she’d opened
the door to reveal Lauren standing on the other side of it, waiting
patiently, a plastic bag in her right hand. She was wearing cut off
denim shorts which exposed her toned legs and the curves of her
buttocks favourably and Camila’s eyes instantly looked her
girlfriend up and down, admiring every inch of her body, the way
that her white shirt, tied at the front, exposed the soft flesh of her
stomach and how the length of her shorts flattered her sculpted
legs. “My eyes are up here Camz,” Lauren laughed noticing her
girlfriends’ blatant ogling and ducking her head down in an
attempt to try and meet Camila’s gaze. “I know,” Camila replied
swallowing hard, her eyes growing wide with her appreciation for
Lauren’s choice of outfit, “but your legs in those shorts…” she
 said, trailing off as she bit her bottom lip and studied her
girlfriends’ form once again. “Jesus Christ.” She exhaled. “Would
you stop that,” Lauren chastised playfully, smacking Camila on the
arm lightly with her free hand. “I’m not a piece of meat you know.
I don’t come with a side of fries and a salad.” “Well, I’d definitely
send my compliments back to the chef if you turned up at my
table.” Camila commented, still staring openly. “Camz,” Lauren
protested, hitting her again gently and chuckling softly to herself
as she stepped over the threshold and into the house. “Stop it
alright, you’re making me blush.” Camila closed the door after
Lauren, leaning her weight into it as she turned to face her
girlfriend. “I’m sorry,” She apologised still eyeing Lauren up, “but
fucking hell.” She cursed, moistening her bottom lip with her
tongue meaningfully. “Have you always been this hot or is this
something new?” “Stop it,” Lauren said raising an eyebrow
knowingly. “Stop what?” Camila asked, dropping her tone
suggestively, all thoughts of the images in her hand now replaced
with the more appealing one in front of her. “You know what,”
Lauren responded amused. “I have no idea what you’re talking
about,” Camila said, feigning obliviousness. “Ijust…I like your
shorts that’s all.” Lauren didn’t say anything but smiled at Camila
expectantly, waiting for her to continue, aware that her girlfriend
was holding something back. “Go on,” Lauren prompted when
Camila didn’t continue. “I know you. You want to say something
suggestive. I can see it on your face.” She chuckled. “It’s killing you
 not to, isn’t it? So go on, just say it.” She encouraged. Camila’s
smile grew wide in response to Lauren’s boost and she took a step
closer to the taller girl, releasing the door handle as she did so.
“Fine,” Camila relented, laughing herself. “I was going to say that
perhaps you should take them off so that I can get a better look at
them.” She shared, reaching her free hand for Lauren’s waist band
and pulling her towards her. “Nice try,” Lauren laughed, pushing
Camila’s chest with her hand lightly and taking a step back. “Top
marks for effort Camz, but I’m not here for that,” Lauren said. “I’m
here http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trials-
andtribulationschapter66 4/9 for that.” She reminded her,
nodding her head at the manila envelope in Camila’s hand. “Ugh,
spoil sport,” Camila pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. “You
know I’m suddenly starting to think that maybe we should wait a
few more days before we look at these,” Camila divulged, holding
up the packet in her hand. “Let’s do something else instead,” she
said seductively, taking a step forward towards Lauren, her eye’s
firmly fixed on the other girls as she placed her free hand on her
girlfriend’s hip. “I mean, we have the house to ourselves.” Camila
disclosed. “We should be taking advantage of that. I mean, what’s
the rush to look at the pictures today? It’s still ages until the trial.
There’s plenty of time for me to torture myself between now and
then.” She finished her tone light and dismissive. “Don’t do that,”
Lauren chastised her kindly. “Do what?” Camila asked, her hand
moving up to caress Lauren’s side, “I’m not doing anything.” “Yes
you are,” Lauren said knowingly. “You’re deflecting.” She told her.
“You’re making light of this because you’re nervous but you can’t
distract me Camz.” She informed her seriously, raising an
eyebrow. “No matter how inviting your offer might sound.”
“You’re tempted though,” Camila noted, sliding the arm that was
holding the envelope behind Lauren’s back and pressing their hips
together. “I mean, you’re a little bit tempted right?” she asked.
Lauren looked down at her girlfriend’s lips which were so close to
her own now it would take almost no effort at all to connect
them. She swallowed hard and used every ounce of will power
that she had to resist Camila’s advances, fully aware of her
girlfriends’ motives and unsure whether she should be offended
that the small brunette thought that she was apparently so easy
to manipulate. “You know I am,” Lauren admitted leaning forward
so that her mouth was hovering even closer to Camila’s. “In fact,
I’m more than a little bit tempted,” she divulged. “So what’s
stopping you?” Camila asked while her empty hand moved to
stroke the exposed muscles of Lauren’s abdomen. “Let’s just go
upstairs and forget all about these,” she said, jiggling the
envelope of pictures in the hand which still remained behind her
girlfriends’ back. “I have a better idea,” Lauren said, “why don’t
you stop trying to get me in to bed for five minutes and tell me
what you’re so scared of?” “I’m not scared,” Camila protested
removing her hand from behind Lauren and sighing noisily to
herself as she took a step back. “You’re just extremely attractive
 and I’m easily distracted. The two things do not go together very
well.” “You’re easily distracted because you’re trying to put this
off.” Lauren told her. “You’ve already delayed it for two days…” “I
know,” Camila groaned, lifting up the envelope between them in
her hand and looking at it undecided. “Have you changed your
mind?” Lauren asked her. “You know you really don’t have to look
at them today if you don’t want to, it’s entirely up to you. Just,
don’t use me as an excuse not to do it.” She told her seriously. “Be
honest Camz. If you’re not ready then…” “No, I am ready,” Camila
interrupted. “In fact I was going to have a look at them before you
got here…I’m just…” “What?” Lauren encouraged when Camila
didn’t go on to elaborate. “You’re just what Camz?” “I’m just, I
don’t know…nervous, I guess,” Camila admitted shrugging. “It’s
taken me so long to get to the point where I can even bear to look
at myself in the mirror again and now I’m going to be getting a
glimpse of the main reason why I couldn’t for so long. I’m just
worried that’s all.” “Worried that you’ll relapse?” Lauren asked, a
look of confusion on her face, not quite understanding Camila’s
meaning. “Babe, you won’t lose yourself like that again.” She
promised. “I really don’t think you have anything to worry about,”
she reassured her, lifting her free hand to rub Camila’s upper arm
supportively. “You’ll be fine.” She told her. “This will be easy
Camz. They’re just pictures after all. They can’t hurt you and
whatever they show is all in the past now. You’ve lived through it
and you’ve moved on.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trialsand-
tribulationschapter66 5/9 Nothing is going to happen to you when
you look at them. Nothing will change, I promise. You’ll be here,
safe with me, the entire time.” Camila looked between Lauren
and the pictures and nodded her head. “Yeah, I know.” She said
doubtfully, knowing what her body’s previous response in similar
situations had been. “No, I know.” Lauren reassured her. “You’ll
be fine. We’re going to do this together aren’t we?” Lauren asked,
her hand moving up to sit on the side of Camila’s neck. “Yes,”
Camila informed her. “Ok, yeah, let’s do this.” “Ok,” Lauren
agreed, lifting up the bag which she held in her other hand
between them. “Here,” she said. “Miss Lovato asked me to give
this to you. It’s the reason that I’m so late actually. I was talking to
her and Ilost track of the time. I’m sorry.” She apologised. “What
is it?” Camila asked reaching up her other free hand to take the
bag from her. “I don’t know babe,” Lauren laughed. “I haven’t
opened it. It’s for you not me.” Camila frowned at the unexpected
gift for a moment and walked in to the living room, Lauren
following closely after her. She quickly perched herself on the sofa
in front of the coffee table, placing the envelope on top of it out
of the way as Lauren descended in to the seat beside her. She
settled the bag in her lap and opened it up, reaching inside to
extract a parcel, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. She
felt Lauren shuffle closer to her for a better look as she removed a
small envelope which had been affixed to the top of it, her name
 boldly written on the white paper. Camila opened the envelope
with her thumb and withdrew the folded piece of paper from it,
unfolding it carefully so as not to tear it. “Dear Camila, I hope that
this letter finds you well. Lauren tells me that you’ve been doing
great since you’ve been home from rehab and I’m pleased to hear
that you’ve settled back in to your life so well. I’m grateful that
Lauren keeps me up to date with what you’ve been doing. It’s
reassuring to know that the selfdeprecating and unconfident girl
that I was acquainted with at the beginning of the school year has
finally realised what the rest of us already knew; that she is in fact
strong, smart, intelligent and talented. Lauren tells me that you’ve
been writing, she doesn’t say what and I don’t ask for fear of
breaching some kind of confidence which you have shared with
her but I’m glad because I think that your story is something
unique and beautiful. It’s inspiring really, how you’ve struggled
through the beginning of this year to blossom into the person that
you are now and I wanted to write and tell you how proud I am of
you for persevering through what I were some terribly difficult
and trying times. Keep writing, even if it’s for yourself and you
choose not to follow my sound advice and become a bestselling
author. Your words matter, they’re healing and they’re
therapeutic. Share them with yourself and put them down on
paper where you can refer to them again, at a time when you
invariably find yourself in a difficult situation once more. From our
sessions I remember that you enjoy reading, almost, if not equally
 as much as you enjoy music. All it would take to put a smile on
your face or engage you in a conversation was to talk about an
artist you admired or a story you loved, it didn’t matter how bad a
day you’d had, or how low you were feeling, it worked every time
without fail. You’d grow animated and passionate at the mention
of Ed Sheeran’s newest single or John Green’s ‘Looking for Alaska’
and your speech would come fluidly, all that enthusiasm rushing
out in coherent sentences and elegant prose. You told me once,
during one of these times that after the accident a certain song
held particular significance for you, that you drew strength from
its lyrics and would put it on if you were having a bad day to help
you feel better. I think you know which song I’m referring to and
the artist who sings it because you told me how much she’s
inspired you in the past and how much you look up to her. Not
once have you ever asked me if the rumours were true, if I was
related to her but, between you and me Camila (and Lauren too).
They are. So, as a token of celebration for your strength, your
perseverance and your continued recovery I’ve sent you
something which Ithink you’ll enjoy. Take care of yourself Camila
and I’ll see you in the fall. Best wishes,
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trialsand-
tribulationschapter66 6/9 Miss Lovato” Camila looked at Lauren
who had been reading the letter over her shoulder. “Holy shit,”
Camila cursed. “Lauren do you know what this means?” she
asked, lifting her eyes to meet her girlfriend’s. “Miss Lovato is
 related to Demi!” “It also means that Dinah was right.” Lauren
laughed, her eyes dropping to the present in Camila’s lap. “Just
don’t tell her that I said that.” Camila placed the letter on the sofa
beside her and picked up the parcel, opening it quickly. “Lauren,”
Camila said, removing the book from inside and turning it over in
her hands to open it. “You see this right?” “I see it babe,” Lauren
said as her girlfriend stared at a handwritten message on the
inside cover of Demi Lovato’s book ‘Staying Strong.’ “Camila, I
understand that this year has been particularly difficult for you,
that you have been working through struggles similar to those
that I have faced in the past and continue to battle daily even
now. I hear that you’re doing well though, that you’ve kept
moving forwards with courage and determination. I’m told that
you’ve celebrated victories and continue to do so every single
day. I’ve understand that you like to read, that you take comfort
from words and quotes, whether they be in the form of a song
lyric or a piece of literature. I take comfort from them too. They
inspire me to stay strong and remain positive in this ongoing war.
They motivate me to be a better person, to keep persevering.
When I was in rehab I made a commitment to myself, one that I’m
sure you have made too and I wrote this book to help myself and
others deal with issues that can sometimes seem like they plague
your entire existence. I understand that you write and I have it on
good authority that you’re very talented, so I want to encourage
you to continue with it in the future because I know how
 therapeutic it can be, how a few simple words can give you the
perspective you need to move forwards and put the past behind
you. I’ve sent you my book with the hope that the words written
within it can help you to stay true on your journey to recovery.
Stay strong Camila, the hardest part has already passed and
you’re already well on the road to achieving the happiness that
you deserve. All my love, Demi” “I think I just died,” Camila said,
putting a hand to her chest. “Am I dead?” she asked Lauren. “No,”
Lauren answered smiling, “not yet at least.” She said, pulling on
something at the top of the book and opening it to a marked
page. “Are those tickets?” Camila asked as Lauren took the
impromptu bookmarks out and held them up for her girlfriend to
see. “Two VIP tickets to see Demi at the American Airlines arena
in September.” She answered, smiling brightly as she handed
them to Camila whose mouth dropped open wide in shock. “VIP?”
she said, her voice shaky as she took them. “Yeah babe,” Lauren
confirmed. “VIP.” Camila glanced down at the page which the
tickets had been marking and read the quote at the top of it.
“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no
power” Jim Morrison “What did you do?” Camila asked Lauren,
lifting her gaze to her girlfriend, finally realising the relevance of
the quote. “I didn’t do anything,” Lauren said smirking.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trialsand-
tribulationschapter66 7/9 “Oh my fucking God Lauren,” Camila
cursed in disbelief. “What the fuck did you do? Did you organise
 this?” “Miss Lovato might have asked after you from time to time
since you’d been home and I might have said some stuff.” Lauren
said nonchalantly, shrugging. “What did you say?” Camila asked
her. “I just told her how amazing you’d been since you came back
from rehab that’s all.” Lauren shared with her. “It was a while ago
now but she said she was going to organise something for you and
I’d forgotten all about it. Then today after home room she showed
me all this. Demi sent it to her to give to you. So, when you text
me earlier to come over and look at the pictures I put the tickets
in here. I thought it would be poetic or something considering the
circumstances…I don’t know. Was it lame?” she asked. “No,”
Camila replied. “Not at all. You’re incredible do you know that?”
Lauren nodded arrogantly and Camila hit her playfully on the arm.
“So you lied to me when you told me you didn’t know what this
was?” Camila asked. “Yes,” she conceded. “I wanted it to be a
surprise. Sue me.” “This is why you were late?” Camila probed.
“You were sorting all this out for me?” “Yes,” Lauren confirmed.
“Do you forgive me?” “Forgive you?” Camila asked laughing. “I
don’t think I’ve ever loved you as much as I do right now. You’re
amazing.” She told her truthfully. “No, you’re amazing,” Lauren
countered and Camila leant her head forward and connected their
lips together, kissing her girlfriend gratefully. “I’m so proud of you
Camz,” Lauren told her when they’d separated. “You know that
right?” “I’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned it before,” Camila
laughed. “Well, whatever. I’m saying it again.” Lauren chuckled,
lifting a hand and tracing the scar above Camila’s left eye with her
hand as she studied her face. “You’ve come so far and I thought
that should be celebrated somehow. I know you love Demi.” She
said. “I know that she inspires you and that you look up to her but
do you know who I look up to? Who I admire more than anyone
else? You Camz.” She shared openly. “I admire you so much
because you never gave up, you never stop fighting. You’re always
fighting. Always. I wish that I could be even half as strong as you
are. You’re the strongest person that I know.” “Lauren,” Camila
said, rubbing her girlfriends forearm with her thumb tenderly,
moved by her words. “No, please let me finish.” Lauren
requested. “You can keep Demi,” she said. “I don’t need her
because I have you. When I feel like I can’t do something I think
about you and I know that I can. You motivate me, you inspire me
and you help me. Your words Camz, every syllable that you’ve
shared with me does that. They give me the courage to try even
when I don’t think I have the strength to. I know that if you can
survive everything that you’ve been through and we can endure
everything that we’ve had to face that I can do anything. Nothing
is insurmountable, nothing is impossible, nothing.” “You’re my
strength you know,” Camila responded, chuckling lightly. “You’re
what gave me strength. You’re the reason that I’m still here.” “No,
that might be what you think but you’re wrong.” Lauren told her.
“You’re wrong Camz.” Lauren’s hand cupped Camila’s cheek, her
thumb caressing it rhythmically as she spoke. “I might have given
 you a push out of the plane but you pulled the safety chord,” she
said. “You learnt how to fly without me. You’re strong because of
you. It’s the same strength that saved you all along Camz, that
refused to let you die despite all the doctors and the nurses telling
everyone that you would.” Camila glanced at the coffee table
towards the manila envelope which was sat on top of it awaiting
her attention and Lauren moved her hand down to rest on her
girlfriends’ knee supportively. “You think I’m’ strong?” Camila
asked her. “No,” Lauren answered. “I know that you are.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/72874421503/trialsand-
tribulationschapter66 8/9 “Are you sure that you want to be here
when I do this?” Camila asked, reaching over and picking up the
packet in her hands, having placed Demi’s book beside her on top
of Miss Lovato’s letter. “Do you want me here?” Lauren asked her,
squeezing her knee. “Yes.” Camila answered simply. “Then I want
to be here.” Lauren replied, stroking Camila’s hair as she opened
the envelope and withdraw the collection of photographs from
within.
Chapter 67
“Ok, here it goes.” Camila said inhaling heavily and closing her
eyes for a brief moment as she mentally prepared for what she
was about to see. She’d managed to pull the small wad of pictures
out of the manila envelope so that they were face down and the
only thing that now prevented her from viewing the images was a
small but not so insignificant flick of her wrist. “You can do this
babe,” Lauren reassured Camila, sensing her hesitation when she
failed to turn them over. She placed an encouraging hand on
Camila’s shoulder and squeezed it supportively. “Honestly, it’ll be
alright. You’ll see.” Lauren reiterated sympathetically. “I’m right
here.” Camila opened her eyes and turned her head to meet
Lauren’s understanding gaze, offering her girlfriend a small,
appreciative smile before returning her attention to the glossy
prints in her hand. She played with them for a moment nervously,
her thumb flicking through the corner edges of the pictures as she
tried to summon up the courage to flip them so that they were
facing up. Lauren moved her hand down to rest on Camila’s wrist
and she dipped her head slightly so that her green eyes met her
girlfriend’s. “Do you want me to do it?” Lauren asked her
compassionately, sliding her fingers down so that she now held
the small heap of pictures loosely in her right hand. “I can do it if
you want me to.” Camila stared at Lauren for a moment, weighing
up her offer but shook her head in response decidedly. “No, I’ll do
it,” she said, exhaling a lungful of air slowly through pursed lips.
“Ok,” Lauren responded smiling as she released the pictures from
her grasp pleased with Camila’s courage. Cautiously, Camila
turned the pictures over so that the plain, white, glossy sheet
which had been visible at the top of the pile was now at the
bottom resting against the manila envelope which sat in her lap
atop her thighs. “Jesus,” Lauren breathed out in stunned surprise
when the previously pure, blank sheet was replaced with the first
 image of Camila after the accident. “I know,” Camila said as her
eyes fixated on the photograph in front of her. She traced her
thumb across the image as she studied it, taking everything on the
page in calmly, her previous concerns about how she’d react
quickly dismissed by the reality of what had been permanently
preserved by the camera. “It doesn’t even look like me,” Camila
commented, stooping closer to the photograph in her hand as
Lauren averted her gaze, feeling uneasy. “Do you think it looks
like me?” she asked as she glanced up at the green eyed girl.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 2/16 Camila’s eyebrows lifted in alarm at
the sight of her girlfriends’ ashen face and she sat up straight
again. “Are you alright?” Camila asked Lauren, shifting her
position on the sofa so that she could get a better view of her.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lauren lied, trying her best to suppress the urge
she had to cry. Her voice was hoarser than she would have hoped
and she hated the way it betrayed her disquiet when she was
trying her best not to let Camila know how much the images were
distressing her. Luckily however, Camila seemed to have bought
the falsehood and had returned her attention to reviewing the
pictures before her closely. Lauren made a concerted effort to
drop her eyes back to the photographs again but couldn’t stop
herself from cringing inwardly as she gazed upon them, her mind
conjuring up the memory of Camila in the intensive care unit
following her seizure at Christmas and wishing more than
 anything that the images before her now resembled how her
girlfriend had appeared then. Lauren didn’t know what she’d been
expecting to see when Camila had asked her to look at the
pictures with her, but never in a million years could she have ever
prepared herself for what could only be described as the
complete carnage which was depicted on the page in front of her.
If Lauren hadn’t been grateful for her absence from Camila’s life
at the time of the accident before today, then she most definitely
was now. Looking at the devastation that the accident had left on
her girlfriends’ body made Lauren feel physically sick and the
brunette thought that she finally understood exactly why Camila
thought she’d have a similar reaction to seeing the pictures
herself. Seeing Camila on the intensive care unit after her seizure
had been horrible for Lauren. She’d been devastated at the sight
of her girlfriend hooked up to the ventilator and attached to the
many different lines which had been necessary to stabilise her
condition following the prolonged absence of oxygen to her brain
whilst she’d convulsed. Camila had been unconscious and
unaware of anything happening around her while she’d been
sedated but Lauren remembered, she remembered it all. She
remembered how scared she’d felt at the time, how worried
she’d been for Camila and her recovery, the way that her stomach
had tied itself in knots at the thought that her girlfriend might not
wake up, that she could have suffered further brain damage. She
remembered how her girlfriends’ normally small form had
 seemed even more dwarfed than normal in the hospital bed
which appeared to be much too big for her. She remembered how
fragile Camila had looked, how she’d been apprehensive about
touching her in case she should hurt her further. Back then, Dinah
had told Lauren that Camila looked a hundred times better than
she did in comparison to the last time that she’d been admitted to
the intensive care unit. She’d tried to reassure Lauren that
although Camila had looked pretty bad she didn’t look as though
she was dying. At the time, Lauren had been comforted by this
knowledge and she knew that there’d been some truth in Dinah’s
words. It wasn’t until now though that she could really appreciate
the complete honesty in them. All those months ago Lauren had
thought that Dinah was embellishing the truth slightly in order to
reassure her but now she knew her assumptions to be false, the
horrific, colour images confirming the Polynesian girls’ words to
be wholly accurate. In the picture that Lauren held in her hand
Camila really did look as though she were dying. Camila tapped
Lauren on the forearm lightly pulling her away from her own
musings for a moment. She handed Lauren the first photograph,
her eyes fixed firmly in front of her as she turned her attention to
the second one in the pile. Lauren took the image from her
girlfriend reluctantly and examined it more closely. She observed
Camila’s recognisable form lying in the familiarly large hospital
bed which sat surrounded by a sea of medical devices. Her
girlfriend’s body was loosely covered in an unfashionable hospital
 gown, the centre of which was stained red where the blood from
her chest wound and subsequent heart surgery had seeped
through the material. Lauren could make out a tube protruding
from Camila’s left side, draining a dark crimson liquid into a
container which hung over the edge of the bed. Camila’s arms
rested notably at her sides, both of them free of the gown,
neither of them having been passed through the sleeves because
of the lines which obtruded from her skin. Lauren’s eyes fell on to
Camila’s left arm which she soon realised was elevated on a
pillow, the entire limb covered in a large, metal wired contraption
that looked as though it would be better placed in one of the
‘Saw’ movies as some form of torture device then on her
girlfriend. Large pins were protruding into Camila’s left forearm
and the small girl’s hand was swollen profusely, her skin bruised a
deep shade of purple all over.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 3/16 Lauren swallowed hard again to rid
her throat of the lump which was starting to form in the back of it.
She allowed her eyes to carefully roam her girlfriend’s body again
until they came to rest on what she could only barely identify as
Camila’s face. Lauren felt her throat tighten further at the sight
and her eyes stung with the threat of tears as she scrutinised the
image before her, the reality of what her girlfriend had suffered
hitting her like the oncoming weight of a speeding freight train. A
number of lines were attached to the side of Camila’s neck and
 fed into a large machine at the head of her bed, jutting out over
the top of a firm neck brace which she wore to protect her spine.
A nasogastric tube had been placed in Camila’s right nostril and
was stuck to her cheek with a generous amount of tape to hold it
in place. Camila’s face, if you could even call it that it was so
disfigured, was partially obscured by the ventilator tubing which
managed to conceal her mouth and lower jaw from Lauren’s view,
but, it wasn’t enough to completely hide from her the damage
which had been inflicted on her girlfriend. The left hand side of
Camila’s face was almost entirely distorted by swelling, her skin
taut and inflamed as though she were having a severe allergic
reaction to something she’d eaten. Her left eye was covered by a
round, bloodstained, dressing which had been fixed over it with a
couple of thin strips of micropore tape and Camila’s entire head
had been wrapped in bandages to protect it from infection post-
surgery. From the top of Camila’s skull, a large cylindrical device
bulged, but Lauren was uncertain as to its purpose. “They aren’t
so bad right?” Camila asked Lauren, handing her the next picture
and the greeneyed girl smiled weakly in response to her
girlfriends’ question as she took the photograph from her. “No,
they’re not too bad Camz.” Lauren said sadly, her tone quiet and
unconvincing but unnoticed by Camila, who was fully immersed in
the task at hand. Lauren dropped her gaze to the next photograph
which showed a close up of Camila’s face and unable to look at
the damage there in such high resolution, Lauren placed the sheet
 face down on top of the last and sucked in a couple of large,
calming breaths, tears no longer a mere threat but a reality.
Camila, having finally noticed Lauren’s behaviour out of the
corner of her eye stopped what she was doing and turned her
attention to her girlfriend. “Lauren?” she asked, noticing the tears
which were making their way down her girlfriends’ cheeks as she
sobbed silently to herself. “What’s wrong?” “What’s wrong?”
Lauren asked, rubbing at her eyes embarrassed by her reaction to
seeing the images. “This is what’s wrong,” she told Camila,
gesturing to the pictures. “This is…” Camila leant forward and
placed the pile of photographs she held on to the coffee table in
front of her before reaching over and doing the same thing with
the pictures which now sat on Lauren’s lap. “Hey,” Camila said
softly, taking Lauren’s hands in her own and stroking the back of
one of them with her thumb soothingly. “I’m sorry.” She
apologised sincerely. “I shouldn’t have asked you to be here for
this. It wasn’t fair on you. I wasn’t thinking.” She acknowledged. “I
was being selfish…” “No,” Lauren replied quickly, not wanting
Camila to misunderstand her words and get the wrong
impression. “It’s not that Camz.” She told her, lifting her eyes to
her girlfriend’s. “I wanted to be here, I did. Ijust…I didn’t realise,
that’s all.” “You didn’t realise what?” Camila asked Lauren slightly
confused, but she squeezed her hands in both of her own
encouragingly. “I didn’t realise how bad they would be,” she
admitted. “I thought that they’d be different. Ithought that I knew
what to expect but I had no idea. None.” She said. Camila glanced
back down at the pictures on the table for a moment before
meeting Lauren’s gaze squarely. “You know, we don’t have to do
this now,” Camila said, rubbing Lauren’s forearm with one hand.
“I can do it later when you’ve gone. I’m ok really…I can do it by
myself if it’s too much for you?” “I’m sorry,” Lauren said, her turn
to now apologise. “What are you sorry for?” Camila asked her
puzzled.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 4/16 “You wanted me to be here to support
you but I ended up getting emotional instead.” Lauren explained,
sniffling to prevent her nose from dripping, her sinuses blocked
and stuffy from her crying. “It’s alright,” Camila reassured her,
lifting a hand to wipe a tear off Lauren’s cheek. “Please don’t
apologise for how you’re feeling. I guess I didn’t really consider
what it would be like for you properly. I was thoughtless. I just
assumed that it wouldn’t affect you as much as this because you
didn’t know me back then but I should have known better. I’m so
sorry.” Camila pulled Lauren in to a hug and she felt her
girlfriends’ arms wrap around her quickly, holding on to her small
torso as tightly as she could. Lauren’s hands grasped urgently at
the material of Camila’s sweater as though she’d evaporate if she
accidentally relaxed her grip for even one millisecond. “You’re so
calm,” Lauren noted her arms still fixed firmly around Camila’s
shoulders. “How are you so calm now when you were so nervous
 before?” she asked. “Why aren’t you a complete wreck?” she
sobbed miserably. “I don’t know,” Camila admitted honestly
shrugging against the weight of Lauren’s arms. “I don’t know how
I’m so calm. To be honest I don’t know what I was expecting but,
this wasn’t it. The expectation was worse than the reality.” She
confessed. “That’s not me in those pictures Lauren. It doesn’t look
like me. I can’t see myself in them. I can’t, I’ve tried.” She
continued. “It looks like it’s someone else, not me. It’s just a
picture of a body with a face that I don’t even recognise. It’s too
swollen to make out properly, too obstructed from view by the
ventilator. It’s like my brain is incapable of seeing the truth or is
too stubborn to admit it.” She realised. “It’s denying me of the
reality, protecting me from it probably.” Camila released Lauren
and leant back to meet her eyes again, her hands finding their
way to rest on her girlfriends’ upper arms. For her part, Lauren
kept her arms loosely draped around Camila’s neck, refusing to let
her go completely. “I don’t remember any of that,” Camila said
thoughtfully gesturing to the pictures on the coffee table with a
quick nod of her head. “I still don’t remember being in the
hospital at the beginning. I remember parts of the accident now
and I remember afterwards, during my initial rehabilitation but…I
don’t remember the first few weeks. I was so out of it.” She
paused for a moment, a frown forming on her face as she rubbed
Lauren’s arms with her hands delicately. “All I remember are a
few short flashes of things as I started to wake up…” she shared.
 “I remember people crying mostly…” she said, recalling her
memories as best as she could, “and a light being shone in my
eyes as someone with a really deep voice spoke over me.” She
recollected. “I remember feeling an inexplicable terror at not
being able to move. It was horrible. It was like I was trapped in my
own body and I wanted to scream so badly because everything
hurt but I couldn’t. I couldn’t make a single sound.” Camila shook
her head from side to side in order to clear it and moved one
hand up to affectionately brush Lauren’s cheek with her thumb.
“You were so worried about looking at the photographs though,”
Lauren reminded her. “I know,” Camila practically chuckled
amused, “but now I don’t know why I was.” She admitted. “You
were right Lauren.” She said tucking a strand of hair behind her
girlfriend’s ear with her right hand. “Even if that is me…was me…”
Camila pondered the choice of tense out loud. “Camz that is you
in those pictures.” Lauren interrupted her pointedly. “Whether
your brain chooses to accept it or not, that’s you…that happened
to you…” she started to say but stopped to stifle another sob still
evidently upset. “Shh,” Camila said, stroking Lauren’s brow
comfortingly. “Please don’t cry.” Camila requested kindly. “It’s ok
Lauren…I’m ok now.” She reassured her. “I know that’s me, I do,
but at the same time it isn’t me, not anymore. I mean look at me,”
Camila said pulling a ridiculous face to try and cheer Lauren up.
“I’m better now aren’t I? If I wasn’t could I do that?” “No,” Lauren
laughed, wiping at her eyes again amused by her girlfriend’s
 antics. “I’m alright.” Camila told her again as she leant forward
and kissed Lauren softly on the lips. “I’m fine. I survived and I’m
here now.” She continued, planting delicate kisses across Lauren’s
cheeks between words. “I’m here because of you.” She shared
openly. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trials-
andtribulationschapter67 5/16 “I’m here because of my family
and because of Dinah.” She said, resting her forehead against
Lauren’s and closing her eyes. “I’m still here because of me.” She
finally admitted, tears in her own eyes. “I don’t think I was ready
to go. I didn’t think that I’d wake up that day and it would be my
last…I still had things that I wanted to do…I still had things that I
wanted to see and experience…I’d even made plans to go to the
movies with Dinah for Christ’s sake,” She joked, trying to lighten
the mood. “I’d not intended to die. I didn’t want to. Not like that,
not without saying goodbye to the people that I loved.” Camila
moved her head back to look at Lauren who was watching her
with red, puffy eyes. “Saying goodbye is important.” Camila
commented and Lauren wasn’t sure of her meaning until she
continued. “I had to say goodbye to my past.” She clarified. “I’ve
done that now and it was easier than I thought it would be. It’s
much simpler to be able to look back and know that everything
that you’ve been through was worth it. That your life will turn
around and right itself again, that you’ll be blessed because of
what you’ve endured.” “What do you mean?” Lauren asked
snivelling and wiping at her nose with the back of her hand. “I
 mean,” Camila started, glancing over at the pictures once again
for an instant. “That was probably the lowest, most difficult
moment of my life.” She told her, meeting her piercing green eyes
again. “I spent so much energy hating everything and everyone,
including myself. I’d constantly question why it happened to me.
It seemed so unfair, so pointless but I realise now that it wasn’t.”
Camila brushed the side of Lauren’s face with her fingertips
lovingly. “You asked me once if I thought that it was fated for me
to get hit by that car. Do you remember?” she questioned. “It was
after the winter formal when we stayed up all night talking…you
were drunk…” “I wasn’t drunk,” Lauren protested chuckling softly
despite her tears, “but I do remember the conversation.” “Itold
you I didn’t think it was fated, that I had a hard time believing that
God would put me through something like that.” Camila said,
“You asked me if I’d change anything. If I’d take the accident back
if I could even if it meant that we never met.” “You told me that
you wouldn’t.” Lauren recalled. “You said the accident was worth
it. That you were trying not to dwell on the past because you can’t
change what has already happened.” “I think I was lying to myself
a little then,” Camila admitted. “Deep down I knew that I couldn’t
change what had happened to me but I was just repeating what
my therapist had said. I didn’t really believe it completely back
then. I was still so messed up.” She confided. “I was still dwelling
on the past. I couldn’t say goodbye to it, I couldn’t escape it. If I
could have gone back so that I’d never been crossing the street
 that day then I would have. I would have given anything not to
have gone through what I did. I hated what happened to me.”
Lauren looked a little hurt at Camila’s insinuation, the words
cutting through her like a knife. “I would have taken the accident
back given the opportunity,” Camila explained noting Lauren’s
wounded expression. “I would have and I think that if you were in
my position then you would have wanted to take it back too. In an
ideal world the accident wouldn’t have happened and we’d still
have found each other, but this isn’t an ideal world and God sends
us trials to tests our faith. He rewards our endurance, our
continued perseverance.” She paused for a moment to kiss
Lauren’s forehead lovingly. “I wasn’t lying when I said that the
accident was worth it though. That wasn’t a lie. I really meant that
because you were most definitely worth it Lauren despite how
much I resented being injured and how difficult my life had
become. You were my reward. I see that clearly. I have no doubt
in my mind that I was blessed with you for my trials.” “If the
accident was why you were blessed with me then what did I
endure to be blessed with you?” Lauren asked interestedly. “You
still don’t understand, do you?” Camila asked rhetorically. “Lauren
you endured the accident too only, you experienced it through
me.” She told her. “You suffered as well because of what
happened to me. You were tested every day with my mood, with
my selfloathing and my disabilities but you stayed with me. You
persevered despite the
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 6/16 emotional and physical pain you had
to experience. If you think that I’m a blessing, if you feel that
way…” “I do,” Lauren stated confidently, interrupting. “I do feel
that way.” “Then I guess I’m your reward as much as I’m your
trial,” Camila said. “This just proves that. It hurts you to see me
like that,” she noted nodding in the direction of the pictures once
again. “To imagine what it was like. You suffer because of me and
I’m sorry for that. I know we’ve never really spoken properly
about what it’s been like for you, to sit by my hospital bed and to
try to stay strong and encouraging when I was in the midst of my
depression. You say I’m strong and maybe I am, but you are too
and you don’t give yourself enough credit for that.” Camila pulled
Lauren in to another hug, rubbing her back soothingly with her
hands. “I want you to tell me about it.” Camila told her. “I want to
hear what you’re thinking for a change. You’re always listening to
me. I’m so frivolous with my thoughts when it comes to you but I
still feel like you keep things from me because you’re worried
about hurting or upsetting me.” Camila leant back again to look at
her girlfriend who was still crying. “Talk to me please.” Camila
pleaded. “Tell me what it was like for you because I don’t know. I
have no idea what it must have been like because I was thankfully
oblivious to everything whilst I was unconscious. You suffered
whilst I slept and I don’t know what that’s like but, I want to
understand, please?” Lauren looked at Camila and smiled sadly as
 she reached up a hand to trace the scar on her girlfriends’
forehead. “I don’t think I can put it into words Camz,” Lauren
informed her. “It was a feeling. It was like I was standing on the
edge of this bottomless abyss completely paralysed and unable to
move. I was just waiting for someone to come along and push me
over the edge into this massive void and I could picture it, the
gaping hole that you’d leave in my life if you died or didn’t wake
up. It was like a vacuum sucking the air out of everything, making
me feel as though I was suffocating even though I knew I wasn’t.”
Lauren sucked in a lungful of air, her voice starting to crack as her
emotions got the better of her. “I was so scared.” She admitted. “I
didn’t know I could love someone so much that the prospect of
losing them meant my entire world would come to an abrupt and
irreversible end. I knew that if anything happened to you, that if
you died then I would too.” Lauren’s hand roamed Camila’s arms,
her neck and her torso as she continued. “I was scared to touch
you.” Lauren shared with her seeking comfort from the
reassurance her hands provided that her girlfriend was more
robust now. “It felt like the slightest contact would break you. You
looked so small and fragile in that bed Camz, like it would take
absolutely nothing at all to separate you from me forever.” Camila
wiped a tear from Lauren’s cheek again and moved her right hand
to take one of Lauren’s wandering ones. “I thought that was it,”
Lauren confessed. “I thought that maybe that’s all the time we’d
get and what hurt the most was that I’d not gotten the chance to
 say it again, to tell you that I loved you.” She divulged. “I
remember thinking that I’d not said it to you that day before your
French class. The last thing I’d said to you was ‘ok.’ Just ‘ok’ and I
didn’t want those to be the last words that we exchanged. I
wanted you to know…” she cried upset at finally opening up about
how she’d felt. “I knew,” Camila told her smiling. “I know how you
feel Lauren. You don’t have to say it. You say ‘I love you’ a million
times a day Lauren and not always with words. We don’t need
words anymore. You could be as mute as I am sometimes and I’d
still know how you feel about me. You say ‘I love you’ when you
smile at me, or you open up the door, or you carry my bag. You
tell me that you love me when you take my hand in yours and you
trace the scar on my head. You tell me that you love me all the
time without even realising it, when you call me ‘a dork’ or you
brush my hair out of my eyes. You’re always saying it. Don’t ever
worry that I don’t know how you feel because I do, I know
Lauren.” “You do?” Lauren asked vulnerably.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 7/16 “Yes,” Camila replied, brushing her
thumb lightly across Lauren’s lips and studying them with her
eyes. “I know.” “Saying goodbye is important though.” Lauren
repeated Camila’s earlier words back to her still crying. “You said
that Camz and it’s true. If that was going to be it I wanted to be
able to say goodbye to you properly. I needed to be able to do
that and the thought that I couldn’t terrified me. It wasn’t enough
 to just say it to you. I needed you to hear it.” “What is a goodbye
like that Lauren?” Camila asked genuinely uncertain. “I mean
seriously? What comes after this?” “I don’t know,” Lauren
admitted. “That’s what’s so scary.” “I don’t know, perhaps
goodbye isn’t a permanent or final thing, not when it comes to
people,” Camila said thoughtfully, contradicting her opinion from
earlier slightly as she considered it further. “Maybe it’s just
acknowledging an absence until the next time that you see each
other. It’s like I told Sofi at the park when she asked what
happened when her heart stops too and there are no longer any
heartbeat memories. Do you remember?” “You told her it’d mean
you were together again so you wouldn’t need memories,” Lauren
recalled. “I believe that,” Camila confessed. “I believe that there is
something else after you’ve lived. I have to believe that. I don’t
know what but there is something. There has to be. So really, how
important are goodbyes?” she asked. “I guess they’re not so
important after all because if you know that someone loves you,
that someone loved you, then you know that it’s inevitable that
you’ll see them again at some point, somewhere. You’ll be
together again.” Camila glanced at their entwined hands for a
moment before she continued. “Goodbyes are painful,” Camila
mused. “Ithink they’re one of the most painful things to
experience because even with the knowledge that you’ll see each
other again in a day, or a week or a month, you’ll still be without
each other and that hurts. It hurts when someone you care about
 so much is missing from your life. When someone you depend on
is absent.” Camila squeezed Lauren’s hand reassuringly. “So don’t
ever worry about saying goodbye to me,” Camila told her.
“They’re too difficult and it’s like I told Sofi, I’ll always be with you,
just like you are always with me. As long as your heart is beating
you’ll have our memories and I can never truly die then, right?”
“But ‘To die would be an awfully big adventure.’” Lauren said,
sniffling, feeling slightly lighter for having disclosed her thoughts
to her girlfriend. “You’ve read Peter Pan?” Camila asked smiling.
“I’ve seen the movies.” Lauren confessed smirking. Camila looked
over at the pictures on the coffee table and Lauren followed her
girlfriend’s gaze. “I don’t know what I would have done if we’d
been together back then,” Lauren said, her eyes tracking up to
study Camila’s face. “I’m sorry but the pictures, they make me feel
sick.” She shared with her girlfriend. “I understand now how
you’ve felt in the past because it’s the same way I feel now. It’s
not you,” Lauren was quick to clarify. “It’s not because of the way
that you look in them. It’s because now I can appreciate how bad
the accident was properly. I can see what it did to you, the marks
it left on your body, and I can imagine how painful it was. I can’t
bear the thought of you having to go through that. I wish I could
have done something to stop it, to take the pain away or make it
so that it never happened.” Lauren laughed thinking back on
Camila’s earlier words. “I guess you’re kind of right,” she chuckled
wiping at her eyes with her free hand. “Even I would take it back
 for you if I could. I’d rather it had happened to me than you.
Sometimes I wish it had.” “I don’t.” Camila answered. “I hope that
you never have to experience anything like what I did.” Camila
told her, meeting her gaze levelly. “I’d gladly get hit by ten more
cars if it meant that you never knew what it was like to experience
the pain that I did. I’d do
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 8/16 anything to protect you from that. If it
was a choice between me and you then I’d push you out of the
way every single time.” “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised again. “I
reacted badly to seeing the pictures and I hate myself for that. I
wish I could have been stronger for you.” “Maybe I don’t need
you to be strong for me anymore,” Camila acknowledged kindly. “I
think I’ve finally realised that I am strong enough on my own now.
You’re allowed to be emotional Lauren. You don’t have to be the
strong one in this relationship all the time.” She realised hugging
her girlfriend close to her chest again and kissing her on the
temple. “I can look after you too.” Camila mumbled against her
skin. Lauren tightened her hold on Camila and smiled against her
chest. “Please don’t hate yourself Lauren.” Camila told her
stroking the back of Lauren’s hair until she lifted her eyes to her
again. “You need to remember one very important thing,” Camila
said. “It took the impact of a vehicle driving at over eighty miles
an hour to inflict that pain on me, to destroy me physically the
way that you see in those pictures but,” She said pausing, “all it
 takes from you, is one smile, one tiny little quirk of your lip or a
wink of your eye and every wound or mark that car left on me is
instantly forgotten. The impact you have on me is infinitely
greater than any that car could ever have.” Camila leant forward
and connected their lips for a brief moment, her face remaining
close to Lauren’s as she continued. “His car barely even managed
to scratch the surface in comparison to the way in which you
affect me.” Camila continued. “The marks you’ve left, the ones
that result from the sound of your laugh, or the glint in your eyes,
or the feel of your lips on mine…they go deeper than any the
accident could have caused. The impression you’ve left on my
heart, that’s truly life changing, it’s much more devastating. It’s
forever. These scars,” Camila said pointing to her head, “they’ll
fade eventually. They’ll become less noticeable, less important
but the impact that you’ve had on me will still burn with the same
intensity every single day, in here,” she finished, pointing to her
chest. “It’ll never fade, never lessen.” Camila took Lauren’s hand
and squeezed it in her own as she leant forward and kissed her
again. “Can I show you something?” she asked and Lauren nodded
as Camila stood up and started to lead her towards the living
room door. She guided Lauren up the stairs to her bedroom and
gestured for her to sit on the edge of the bed whilst she moved
over to the closet, opened it and quickly crouched down before it
to retrieve a small shoebox. Once safely in her hands, Camila
stood back up and wandered over to Lauren, perching on the end
 of the bed beside her and settling the box in her lap. She opened
it and discarded the lid on to the floor mindlessly, sliding the box
over and in to her girlfriends’ lap. “What’s this?” Lauren asked,
studying the contents closely, her hand rummaging through the
assortment of objects. “They’re all the things that I’ve thought
important enough to collect over the course of our relationship,”
Camila told her, reaching over and pointing to a few things as she
listed them. “There’s a shell that you found on our first date at the
beach.” She said, her index finger nudging it slightly in the box.
“There’s ticket stubs from the movies we’ve seen together, the
small minion key ring that you won for me at the fair, the letter
that I wrote for your crush back before I knew it was me,” she
went on. “There’s a CD I made of all the songs which remind me
of you and I,” Camila continued. “There are the tickets from the
winter formal and the Taylor swift concert.” Camila moved some
of the items around with her hand for a moment to get a better
look. “There’s the valentines’ card that you got me,” she said.
“There are a lot of different things in here.” “Why did you keep
them all?” Lauren asked her. “I don’t know I guess they just mean
something to me,” Camila answered shrugging. “I wanted to keep
them to remind me of the things that we’d done together. You
know what my memory is like,” Camila joked and Lauren smiled at
her warmly, her eyes
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 9/16 slowly drying now that her tears had
finally stopped. “I don’t trust it. So I collect these things and store
them somewhere safe so I can look back on them later and
remember.” “Why did you want to show me these?” Lauren
asked, placing the box on to the floor at the foot of the bed.
Camila smiled brightly as she reached up and rested her hand
against the side of Lauren’s neck. “I want to show you
everything,” Camila told her simply. “I want to share everything
with you Lauren and it just seemed like the right time now to
reveal how even the little and insignificant things that we do
together such as walking along the beach are important to me
and are actually, not insignificant at all.” Camila dropped her gaze
to Lauren’s lips for a moment and bit her own bottom lip between
her teeth. “Every moment with you is significant and I wanted to
show you how much I value you and what we have. I wanted to
make you feel better.” She said releasing her lip again. “You’re my
anchor remember Lauren?” Camila said picking up Lauren’s left
hand with her own and twisting the ring that sat there
meaningfully. “You’re what keeps me grounded, what gives me
strength. I made a promise to you that day on the beach and I
really meant it. I told you I was committed to being there for you
and that you could count on me to listen to how you’re feeling,
so, please, don’t ever think that you have to apologise to me for
your emotions. I mean, you’ve had to deal with enough of mine.
It’s about time we changed things up a bit.” Lauren leant forward
and kissed Camila softly on the lips in appreciation of her words.
Her godamn fucking words, Lauren thought, her fingers enclosing
around those of her girlfriends’ tightly. Lauren moved her other
hand to sit on Camila’s hip and she gently pushed up Camila’s
sweater to stroke the soft flesh of her abdomen as the smaller girl
gently forced Lauren on to her back on the bed. She pushed
against her girlfriend’s chest with her free hand and manoeuvred
herself so that she was lying on top of Lauren, one knee pressed
between the taller girl’s legs, their stomachs touching as Camila
deepened the kiss, her tongue working its way in to the brunette’s
mouth, clashing with Lauren’s pleasurably. “When are your
parents back?” Lauren asked Camila gasping, as she separated
their mouths for a brief intermission. She stared into Camila’s
deep dark chocolate eyes imploringly and Camila smirked in
response, pleased. “Not for ages,” Camila said licking her bottom
lip seductively, her voice hoarse and raspy as she spoke. She
slipped her hand underneath Lauren’s shirt, forcing it up higher to
expose her chest and Camila moved her head down towards
Lauren’s already bare stomach and planted soft, light kisses
against her girlfriend’s abs. “Ok good,” Lauren said closing her
eyes as Camila traced a line up towards the centre of her chest
with the tip of her tongue. “Why? Is making you feel better?”
Camila asked Lauren, lifting her head for a moment to look in her
piercing eyes which were still somewhat puffy from where she’d
been crying. “A little,” Lauren replied teasingly, causing the corner
of Camila’s mouth to turn up in amusement. “Just a little,” Camila
said, lowering her mouth to the side of Lauren’s neck and sucking
on it delicately as she worked her way up to nibble on the bottom
of her girlfriend’s ear. “That’s all? Just ‘a little?’” Camila whispered
into it seductively. “Yeah, just a little,” Lauren answered, her back
arching up off the bed as Camila’s hand moved up and cupped her
breast beneath her bra. “What about now?” Camila asked,
massaging the soft mound in her fingers and connecting their lips
again as she pressed their hips together, sinking the two of them
further in to the bed. Camila heard Lauren groan beneath her and
hitched her knee so that it pressed more firmly in to her
girlfriend’s crotch. “Camz,” Lauren breathed as the smaller girl
relinquished her mouth.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 10/16 “Yeah,” Camila exhaled as her
remaining free hand rubbed at Lauren’s side soothingly, the other
still manipulating her girlfriend’s breast. “Ilove you,” Lauren told
her and Camila smiled brightly. “You don’t have to say it,” Camila
reminded her, removing her hand from Lauren’s breast to play
with her dark locks for a minute. “Something so obvious doesn’t
need to be said.” She stated, referring back to the running joke
that they’d made at the mall as well as her own comments from
earlier. “I know but I wanted to,” Lauren said and Camila’s grin
broadened as she bought their mouths back together again
hungrily. “You’re so fucking hot in these shorts,” Camila
complimented Lauren, her hands moving down to unbutton them
 carefully, her eyes ogling her girlfriend blatantly and causing her
to laugh. “I’m hotter without them though right?” Lauren asked
playfully and Camila tilted her head and smirked again. “Oh yeah
definitely,” Camila agreed, her hands moving up to undo Lauren’s
white shirt, a look of pure concentration crossing over her face as
she did so. “Here let me,” Lauren said unbuttoning it quickly and
pulling it open to reveal her bra beneath. “Last time this
happened my mom had to repair my shirt and she’d flip if she
thought we were doing anything…” “You really want to talk about
your mom right now?” Camila asked and Lauren shook her head
as she sat up to allow the smaller girl to pull the shirt off her
shoulders. Once removed, Camila threw it on to the floor behind
her carelessly. “We could talk about your mom if you wanted?”
Lauren joked and Camila sagged on top of her for a minute put
off. “Oh my God Lauren!” Camila protested, burying her face in
the mattress over Lauren’s left shoulder. “Please…shut the fuck
up about our moms for five minutes. I’m begging you.” “Funny,”
Lauren said, pulling at the hem of Camila’s sweater meaningfully.
“That isn’t the kind of begging I’d had in mind.” Camila sat back up
again and lifted her arms as Lauren pushed up on to her elbows
and lifted the sweater over Camila’s head. She threw it on the
floor in the direction of her own shirt and then repeated the
process with Camila’s tank top. “Yeah, well I don’t really beg,”
Camila commented as Lauren’s hands fumbled with the fastening
of her jeans. “Yes you do,” Lauren responded recalling all the
 times Camila had tried to initiate something between them,
especially whilst she’d been away at rehab. “Prove it,” Camila
challenged, lowering her mouth to suck at the top of Lauren’s
right breast, her teeth grazing the skin there lightly for an instant
before her tongue once again trailed down towards the centre of
Lauren’s chest. “I bet that I can make you beg,” Lauren stated
defiantly just as Camila’s hand heaved at the top of Lauren’s
denim shorts, pulling them down. Lauren’s pelvis lifted to
accommodate the movement and she kicked off her shoes quickly
followed by the small pair of shorts, leaving her in just her
underwear. “I bet you can’t,” Camila countered as she stood up
and shuffled out of her own jeans hurriedly. Lauren raised one
eyebrow at Camila’s confidence and smiled as her girlfriend
lowered herself back on top of her, crashing their lips together
again. “I bet,” Camila started, separating their mouths for a
moment and shifting her weight as she straddled her girlfriend’s
hips, her knee once again pressing into the space between
Lauren’s legs. “I bet that I can make you beg first without using
either of my hands.” Lauren smiled amused by Camila’s set of
conditions. “Fine,” she accepted. “Show me what you’ve got then
Camz,” Lauren dared. “Remember,” Camila said, moving her
hands behind her back and clasping them together to stop them
from wandering Lauren’s body, “you asked for it.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 11/16 “Mmhhmm,” Lauren groaned as
 Camila leant lower and connected their lips again heatedly, her
tongue wasting no time in entering Lauren’s mouth and
deepening it. Lauren moved her hands up to rest on Camila’s
sides, the one on her girlfriend’s left flank caressing the scar there
reflexively whilst the other one worked its way up to cup Camila’s
breast. She felt Camila smile against her lips and the smaller girl
moved her mouth down to suck on Lauren’s pulse point in her
neck for a beat. The greeneyed girl responded immediately,
arching her neck to expose the flesh there. “I knew you were
tempted,” Camila chuckled, remembering their conversation from
earlier when Lauren had first arrived. “Can you really blame me?”
Lauren asked, both hands working their way up to the back of
Camila’s bra and undoing it. Camila unclasped her hands and
allowed Lauren to remove the article of clothing completely
before returning them to their previous confinement behind her
back. “You’re so hot for me it’s kind of hard to resist,” Lauren
teased playfully as Camila started to trail kisses down her
girlfriend’s collar bone and all the way towards her naval where
she paused abruptly. “Well, did you ever think that maybe if you
weren’t so hot then I wouldn’t be so hot for you?” Camila
suggested, shifting her hips and pressing her knee further into
Lauren’s core. “I didn’t come here for that,” Camila laughed,
mocking Lauren’s tone from earlier, “Pfft…you’re such a liar.” “It
wasn’t a lie.” Lauren said, reaching up and pulling Camila closer to
her with both her hands, bringing their mouths together again.
 “You just wore me down that’s all. What can I say? I want you.”
“That sounds like begging,” Camila noted raising an eyebrow and
Lauren shook her head not conceding the point so easily. “That
isn’t begging,” Lauren told her. “Maybe not yet,” Camila said and
she lowered her mouth once more to Lauren’s stomach, kissing
her hard abs delicately and rocking back onto her calves as she
progressed even lower, her mouth grazing the front of Lauren’s
underwear teasingly. “Camz,” Lauren released breathily as Camila
loitered on the spot, her girlfriends’ dampness soon soaking
through the fabric of her knickers. “Yeah babe?” Camila asked
playfully, sensing she was on the verge of winning and starting to
work her way back up towards her girlfriends’ naval again with
her tongue. She placed both her hands on the bed either side of
Lauren’s body to support her weight and started to kiss the spot
underneath her girlfriend’s chin, sucking on it lightly with her
mouth, her lips brushing against the skin soothingly as they made
their way down the front of Lauren’s neck. She trailed kisses once
more down to the centre of the taller girls’ chest where she
traced a line with her tongue across to Lauren’s right breast.
Lauren reached up and undid her bra quickly, removing it without
too much difficulty and allowing Camila to tease her girlfriend’s
nipple lightly with her tongue. “Oh shit,” Lauren swore feeling
that defeat was imminent, Camila once again moving her mouth
back down to kiss the ever increasing area of dampness over her
underwear and making Lauren’s hip thrust upwards eagerly. “I
 should stop,” Camila said thoughtfully, sitting back up again and
running a hand through her hair. Slowly she lifted her leg and
made a move to stand back up. “Don’t you fucking dare,” Lauren
said, pulling on Camila’s arm so that she was straddling her again.
“I don’t know,” Camila said raising an eyebrow, “that still doesn’t
sound much like begging…” she trailed off, making a move to
stand again but Lauren sat up quickly and smashed her lips against
Camila’s, her hands dragging her girlfriend back down on top of
her. “I’m going to need to hear you to say it,” Camila said amused.
“Never,” Lauren said as Camila started sucking on her neck again
forcefully, her lips lingering just below her jaw, making Lauren
squirm beneath them. “Say it,” Camila mumbled against her skin,
continuing with the task at hand, kissing Lauren’s neck gently for a
moment and then sucking it, alternating between the two over
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 12/16 and over again. “No,” Lauren said,
Camila’s arms resting against the bed by her head, her hips
pressed on top of the taller girls, her knee between Lauren’s legs.
“Say it,” Camila prompted again, sucking pleasurably on Lauren’s
neck unrelentingly. “I’m not going to break,” Lauren told her and
Camila shook her head as she moved her mouth lower to plant
soft kisses against Lauren’s stomach. “Final chance,” Camila said,
shifting her weight again, Lauren trying to grab hold of her
girlfriends’ shoulders as she sunk lower once more. “Jesus,”
Lauren breathed as Camila once again began to work over her
centre with her mouth, the fabric of her underwear feeling soaked
and restrictive. “Please,” Lauren pleaded, thrusting her hips
forwards against Camila’s mouth. “Don’t stop ok,” she begged.
Camila smirked at finally having won and used her hands to pull
down Lauren’s underwear slowly, her girlfriend wriggling out of
them with pleasure. “Ok,” Camila said, her mouth going back to
work over Lauren’s core, her tongue flicking over the area
rhythmically and making Lauren writhe. “Holy shit,” Lauren
cursed, her hands grasping hold of the duvet at her sides,
scrunching it up in her palms as her pelvis rose and fell in time
with Camila’s contact. One of Camila’s hands was stroking
Lauren’s thigh and the faintness of her touch made the greeneyed
girl shudder gratifyingly as Camila’s other hand traced small,
equally tantalising circles, on Lauren’s left hip bone. “Fucking
hell,” Lauren moaned, Camila’s mouth making her centre throb
painfully, her hips arching up off the bed again, her muscles
contracting tightly in response to her girlfriend’s stimulus.
“Camz,” Lauren rasped, her body contorting and her eyes
clamping shut as she extended her back, curving her spine up off
the bed. “Shit,” Lauren hissed as she continued to spiral, Camila’s
mouth never ceasing, her tongue brushing the area between her
legs expertly despite her lack of experience for the next few
minutes. Camila felt Lauren finally shudder, her breath escaping in
small bursts from her lungs as she did so, her whole body relaxing
back on to the bed. “Jesus Christ,” Lauren muttered, lifting one
hand to and wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of it
as Camila shuffled back up and lay atop her girlfriend. “Actually it
was just me,” Camila joked and Lauren smacked her arm playfully,
laughing. “You’re such a fucking idiot,” Lauren said hitting her
again. “Why do you always have to do that?” she asked and
Camila raised an eyebrow puzzled. “Not that,” Lauren said.
“You’ve never done that before. I mean, why do you always have
to make a joke…” Camila gave Lauren a small smile and reached
up a hand to stroke her girlfriend’s brow thoughtfully. “I say
stupid stuff to make you laugh,” Camila admitted, nuzzling her
face against Lauren’s neck and kissing it tenderly. “I didn’t like
that you were upset earlier. I much prefer to see you smile. It
makes my stomach flutter and my heart pound in my chest.” She
said, lifting her face again and lowering her hand to rub Lauren’s
cheek with the pad of her thumb. Camila beamed brightly and
Lauren’s smile matched her girlfriend’s. “I feel the same way
about yours,” Lauren confessed, rubbing the top of Camila’s arm
with her fingertips. “Do you feel better now?” Camila asked her
tone serious and Lauren nodded, resting her chin on top of the
smaller girls’ head as she lowered it again. “Yeah Ifeel better now
Camz,” Lauren replied smiling to herself. “Thank you for being
here with me this afternoon when I, you know…” Camila said
appreciatively, trailing off and not wanting to remind Lauren too
much of the pictures that had distressed her so much. “Even if I
wasn’t much help?” Lauren asked, her fingers finding Camila’s and
manipulating them in her own, “and even if you didn’t really need
me here?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 13/16 “Just you being here helped,” Camila
responded truthfully, “and I’ll always need you Lauren, always.”
“Well you’ll always have me,” Lauren told her. “I promise.” “It’s
almost over now you know,” Camila said suddenly. “What is?”
Lauren asked her confused, tilting her head to look at Camila.
“The school year,” Camila replied. “The trial…my recovery, I
guess…” “So?” Lauren questioned. “Is that bad?” “No,” Camila
told her. “It’s just the truth.” “Well, what happens when it’s
over?” Lauren asked interestedly. “I thought maybe we could
spend the summer together,” Camila said, sitting up slightly to
look at Lauren. “We could take long walks on the beach or in the
park and you could teach me how to play softball properly. I might
even try swimming again…” “Really?” Lauren asked surprised.
“Yeah,” Camila confirmed. “I used to love swimming and it’s so
hot down the beach in the summer…” Camila paused for a
moment to think. “I’ll miss you when you go to softball camp
though.” Camila acknowledged. “We can still Skype and things.
It’ll be just like when I was at rehab.” “Not just like it I hope,”
Lauren said smiling as Camila’s index finger poked at her chin.
“Besides, Ithink I’ll give softball camp a miss this summer.”
“Really?” Camila said surprised. “Why? Ithought you really
enjoyed it.” “I do,” Lauren admitted, “but if you’re going to be
 here then I don’t want to be anywhere else. I hear you had a
pretty crap summer last year….” “I didn’t really have a summer
last year,” Camila realised. “So then, let’s make this one count.
We can do all the things you missed out on whilst you were in the
hospital. Barbecues, nights watching the sunset…” she
considered. “We could camp out in the back garden with Sofi and
make smores over a fire. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” Camila agreed
snuggling back into Lauren who wrapped her arms around her
girlfriend. “Ok,” Lauren repeated contentedly, her brow furrowing
slightly as she considered something. “Camz?” she asked and
Camila lifted her head again. “Yeah Laur,” she said, Lauren’s
mouth curving up into a smile at the nickname. “I think it’s your
turn now isn’t it?” she asked playfully and Camila smirked but
shook her head. “If my memory is right, I owed you didn’t I?”
Camila said looking pensive. “For the cinema?” Lauren laughed
and Camila nodded her head. “You know that Ally saw us then
right?” “What?!” Camila said in alarm. “Are you joking? Is that
why she was making all those comments?” “You really didn’t
realise?” Lauren asked surprised. “No,” Camila said. “Ally is such a
pervert. I don’t get it. She’s so small…” “Normani knows too.”
Lauren admitted and Camila’s jaw dropped. “Normani knows?”
she asked. “What did you do? Take an ad out in the paper?” “No
she caught on to Ally’s comments and asked me.” Lauren said. “So
you told her?” Camila laughed. “Kind of,” Lauren said making an
apologetic face. “Jesus Lauren,” Camila breathed. “Does Dinah
 know?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/73980645922/trialsand-
tribulationschapter67 14/16 “Not unless you told her or one of
the other’s did.” “Ok great so Dinah knows,” Camila chuckled.
“You know Ally or Normani have said something. Those three are
thick as thieves. They cannot be trusted with anything.” “Sorry,”
Lauren apologised and Camila shook her head amused before
laying it back down on her girlfriend’s chest. “It’s ok,” she
reassured her and Lauren rubbed Camila’s arm again. “So…you
don’t want me to…you know?” she asked, her voice raising slightly
with the question. “Not right now,” Camila said, stroking Lauren’s
stomach, her chest feeling a little tight from her exertion. “Can we
just lie here for a little while first?” “Sure,” Lauren said, tightening
her hold around Camila’s body and kissing the top of her head.
“Anything you want.” “I want you to kiss me,” Camila said and
Lauren smiled as she dropped her chin and met Camila’s mouth
with her own. They lay like that for a while, wrapped up in one
another’s arms just kissing until twenty minutes later, Lauren
released Camila’s lips and looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
“What about now?” Lauren asked, her chest heaving as she
caught her breath, their lips having been locked almost
constantly, their hands starting to roam each other’s bodies
eagerly once more. “Yeah ok, now.” Camila said, her blood ringing
loudly in her ears, her chest moving up and down quickly as she
panted, her eyes firmly locked on Lauren’s. Lauren smiled as she
 ran her hands lightly down Camila’s sides, stopping when they
came to her underwear which was the only item of clothing still
remaining on her girlfriend’s body. Lauren took hold of each side
of the delicate material and pulled them down so that her mouth
could return the pleasure that Camila had just given her.
Chapter 68
A/N: It’s midnight and the chapter still isn’t quite finished yet so
I’ve split it as promised but I really struggled to find a good place
so sorry if it’s boring and nothing much happens but that’s the
compromise when I split them. Also, it’s not proof read so sorry
for any mistakes. Lauren pulled up outside Camila’s house in her
red Chevrolet Cruze the following Wednesday after school, Ally,
Dinah and Normani all huddled in the back of it, singing along to
the stereo animatedly. She put the car in park and quickly shut
the engine off, the girls groaning loudly in response to the sudden
lack of music. “Lo,” Normani complained, affronted that her friend
would even consider cutting out the stereo whilst Beyoncé’s
album was playing, her hard copy having found its way in to
Lauren’s CD player with a little bit of persuasion. “Can’t you leave
that on?” Lauren turned around in her seat to look at her friend,
one hand unfastening the safety belt as she did so to allow her
body the freedom it needed to complete the movement. “I’ll only
be a few minutes,” Lauren said, laughing at the look of
disappointment on each of the other girls’ faces. “Are you
seriously telling me that you can’t go that long without murdering
 another one of her songs?” “Murdering?” Dinah asked, feigning
offense and holding her hand up to her chest as if wounded by
the word. “Excuse you but we were totally killing it.” She said as
Lauren twisted back around in her seat and opened the door to
her left, climbing out of the car. She shut it after her and turned
around, leaning in through the open drivers’ side window to
address her friends’ once more, a smirk plastered on her face. “I
know you were ‘killing it’,” she said, meeting Dinah’s gaze levelly,
“that’s exactly what Ijust said.” “’Murdering’ a song, and ‘killing it’
are two completely different things you know?” Dinah reminded
her and Lauren’s smile grew wide. “Not when we’re talking about
your rendition of ‘Flawless’” Lauren commented, “you guys really
suck. You don’t have enough swag for a song like that.” “Would
you just put the stereo back on?” Normani requested, brushing
off Lauren’s playful jibe with a smile of her own. “Fine,” Lauren
chuckled, bending forward and reaching across the steering wheel
with her right arm in order to turn the key in the ignition one click.
“Just, try not to inadvertently attract every cat in the
neighbourhood with your mating calls,” she joked as the stereo
returned to life. The girls immediately picked up where they’d left
off and Lauren shook her head at them in amusement before
making her way to Camila’s front door. She paused outside and
rang the bell when she reached it, holding down the small button
and causing a long, noisy, drawn out buzz to be emitted. Lauren
waited, her eyes scanning the space around her distractedly until
the front door opened and an out of breath Camila appeared from
behind it, apparently having run down the stairs. “Hi!” Camila
greeted Lauren enthusiastically, a large smile appearing on her
face at the sight of her girlfriend.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 2/10 “Hiiiiiii,” Lauren returned, drawing out
the word and frowning at the large, dark, purple bruise which
surrounded Camila’s right eye and spread out diffusely across her
face. “What happened?” she asked concerned, reaching a hand
up to caress Camila’s brow, her fingertips moving down to trace
along the small cut which was visible on her girlfriend’s right
cheek. “Oh this?” Camila asked gesturing to the blemish with her
right hand as Lauren moved aside and allowed her to step out of
the house. She pulled the door closed behind her swiftly as she
continued, the latch clicking firmly in place. “I took up boxing.”
She joked. “If you think this is bad then you should see the other
guy….” “Camz,” Lauren protested knowingly, giving her girlfriend
a pointed look. “It’s nothing,” Camila reassured her, waving a
hand dismissively in front of her face. “I had a seizure this
morning and my head collided with the kitchen counter that’s all.”
“Jesus,” Lauren exhaled. “That’s all?” she asked, believing Camila
to be downplaying the injury in order to pacify her worries. “Are
you alright?” “I’m fine,” Camila told her as she reached down and
picked up Lauren’s hand in her own. She pulled it up to her mouth
and kissed the back of it affectionately. “It’s no big deal honestly,”
 Camila said grinning brightly. “Apparently it only lasted about
thirty seconds in total and I’ve been sleeping pretty much nonstop
since it happened. Luckily my mom was at home at the time…”
she trailed off. “So you’re not aching too much then?” Lauren
asked her and Camila stretched out all her limbs testing the
muscles there experimentally. “No,” she answered shaking her
head, her tongue sticking out between her teeth as she smiled
once again. “I even managed to avoid biting my tongue this time,”
Camila informed her happily as she tugged Lauren closer to her by
their joined hands. She studied Lauren’s lips meaningfully with her
eyes, her gaze fixing on them in her eagerness to have them
pressed against her own. “Maybe you should check it though,”
Camila said, lifting an eyebrow seductively, her chocolate orbs still
on Lauren’s lips. “I mean, you know…if you’re worried that I might
have injured it or something.” “I think that would be best,” Lauren
said, relaxing noticeably in response to Camila’s playful mood and
realising that she wasn’t putting on a show just to soothe her
anxieties. “It would help to put my mind at ease,” she finished,
her tone mischievous. Lauren released Camila’s hand from her
own and tilted her head forwards, both hands cupping her
girlfriend’s face as she pressed her lips firmly against the smaller
girl’s before her. She felt Camila smile against her at the contact
and Lauren used the pad of her right thumb to stroke her left
cheek soothingly as she deepened the kiss further, her tongue
exploring the cavernous depths of her girlfriend’s mouth. Camila’s
 hands found their way round Lauren’s waist, her wrists crossing
over one another at the small of the taller girl’s back so that her
fingertips lightly sat against Lauren’s denim covered buttocks.
“Mmmm,” Lauren moaned, the car horn blazing from where it sat
idle just as Camila leant in to the kiss further, the weight of her
body sinking against her girlfriend’s as she gently sucked on her
tongue. “I think,” Lauren started breathlessly as she reluctantly
separated their mouths to glare in the direction of the vehicle and
the cause of the disturbance, Dinah, who was leant forward
between the seats looking at them. “I think,” she repeated,
returning her attention to Camila who was watching her with
unrestrained affection. “That you’re all good.” Camila’s beam
widened and Lauren reached up and fondled a strand of long,
dark hair which hung loosely over her girlfriend’s shoulder, their
eyes seeing nothing else but each other. “Oi!” Dinah called from
the car impatiently. “Would you guys hurry the hell up?” she
asked. “I’m starving!” Lauren turned to glare at Dinah again for a
moment before reaching down and grabbing hold of Camila’s
right hand. “Come on then Rocky,” Lauren joked in reference to
Camila’s earlier story. “Let’s go and get something to eat.” She
encouraged, pulling a little on Camila’s hand and leading her
down the path towards her car.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 3/10 Lauren opened the passenger door for
her girlfriend and guided her in to the seat, pausing only long
enough to kiss her quickly on the lips before closing the door after
her. She walked back around the car and climbed in as Camila
greeted the others, each of the girls asking after her with concern
at the obvious bruising on her face. “I thought it would be a good
idea to try riding a unicycle,” Lauren heard Camila say as she
buckled up her seat belt and turned the engine over with the twist
of the key. “Turns out it’s harder than it looks.” She added
thoughtfully. “I fell straight off and landed on my face. Apparently
my reflexes are really really slow.” “You’re such an idiot,” Dinah
commented as Lauren pulled away from the curb and began their
journey to Jimmy’s where they would be meeting up with Clare.
“Why can’t you just say that you had a seizure?” “Where’s the fun
in that?” Camila countered evidently bemused by the thought and
twisting around in her chair to face her best friend. “Besides, you
don’t know that I’m lying. I might be telling you the truth. Perhaps
I’m thinking of joining the circus and am practicing for an
audition.” “You don’t need to audition,” Dinah chuckled light-
heartedly. “You’re clumsy enough without even needing to
practice Mila.” She noted. “You’d make a great clown.” “Thank
you,” Camila beamed brightly and Dinah’s smiled grew to match
her friends. “It’s just a shame that you’re not really that funny,”
Dinah added after a moment when Camila had spun back around
to face the road. “That’s going to limit you a teeny little bit.” “She
could always be one of those mute clowns,” Normani offered
encouragingly. “She doesn’t have to tell jokes.” “Good because
 Mila’s jokes are awful,” Dinah responded thoughtfully,
considering Normani’s words. “Hey,” Camila protested, turning
back around to pout in Dinah’s direction. “You laughed at me that
one time….don’t you remember?” she asked. “You were
practically crying because my joke was so funny…” “What was the
joke?” Dinah asked interestedly and Camila gave the impression
of considering the question for a moment before shrugging
defeated, her memory too poor to recall it. “No idea,” Camila
answered. “Just, trust me when I say it was hilarious.” “Ithink that
you’re funny,” Ally said and Camila smiled at the compliment.
“Thanks Ally,” Camila acknowledged happily. “At least someone
does.” “Ithink you’re funny too,” Lauren agreed as Camila faced
forward once again. Camila smiled at her and moved a hand over
to sit on Lauren’s knee which she squeezed gratefully. “You
would,” Camila commented and Lauren lowered one hand from
the steering wheel to take hold of her girlfriend’s. “Yeah, you’re
biased Lo.” Normani agreed. “So you’re vote doesn’t count.”
“Sure it does,” Lauren said glancing over her shoulder at her
friend. “In fact as Camz’s girlfriend it should be the only vote that
counts.” “You really think I’m funny?” Camila asked, shaking
Lauren’s hand slightly in her own for emphasis. “Yes,” Lauren
confirmed. “You say some of the funniest things sometimes Camz
and you don’t even realise that you’re doing it. I think that’s what
makes it so hilarious actually. You’re so oblivious to how witty you
can be…” “Oh God,” Normani said, rolling her eyes at Lauren’s
 words whilst Camila radiated pure joy at the compliment. “Are
they about to get sappy?” “Are they about to get sappy?” Ally
tittered. “Mani, they’re always sappy.” “Yeah, I mean its Camren,”
Dinah agreed with Ally, shaking her head from side to side. “They
are always sappy. I bet they couldn’t go five minutes without
complimenting or touching one another. I mean, they seriously
behave like they’re the only two people
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 4/10 around most of the time. They forget
that the poor unsuspecting public has to watch their sickening
displays of affection.” “You’re just bitter because you’re single,”
Lauren told Normani, glancing back at her by looking in the rear
view mirror. “You and Arin were just as bad when you were
dating.” “I think you two are cute when you’re like this,” Ally
defended her friends. “Mani is just worried that she’ll end up as
some crazy ass cat lady.” “Someone in the group has to now that
it won’t be Mila.” Dinah noted smirking in Normani’s direction,
the other girl hitting her on the arm offended. “Ow,” Dinah
complained noisily. “What was that for?” “I’m not going to be a
crazy cat lady.” Normani said grumpily. “One of us has to be,”
Dinah disagreed. “Ally is definitely going to find someone. She’s in
love with the idea of being in love.” She said thoughtfully.
“There’s no way she’ll ever end up single. Lauren and Mila will get
married. I totally believe that. In fact,” she said, holding up one
finger pointedly. “I’m willing to make a bet with you all now.”
 “What kind of bet?” Normani asked. “Money?” “No,” Dinah said
thinking for a moment. “Something more fun than that…” “Like
what?” Ally asked, amused. “Ok,” Dinah said decisively. “I bet you
a trip to Hawaii that Mila and Lauren will get married one day.”
“So if they don’t you’re going to take us all on holiday?” Normani
questioned, laughing. “Are you serious?” “Yeah,” Dinah said.
“Well, how long are you going to wait?” Ally queried. “Maybe
they won’t get married until they’re like, eighty or something…”
“You should probably put a time frame on it,” Lauren suggested.
“Alright,” Dinah agreed. “If they aren’t married in ten years then
I’ll take you all on vacation.” “Ok,” Normani said, shaking Dinah’s
hand in agreement. “You’re betting against us?” Lauren asked
noticing Normani’s gesture from where she was sitting. “I guess,”
Normani said. “I mean, you’re young you know? A lot can happen
in ten years…plus, Camila has a dodgy heart so there’s that too…”
she joked, not really taking the wager seriously. “Wait a minute,”
Camila objected. “Did you just bet against us because you think I’ll
drop dead before I have a chance to walk down the aisle?” “Are
you telling me that isn’t a possibility?” Normani asked and Camila
considered the question. “Yeah ok,” she said. “I guess that you’re
right…” “Camz,” Lauren griped. “Can you please not?” “Normani
started it,” Camila moaned. “Besides she isn’t wrong is she?” “I
suppose not but still….geez….” Lauren said, indicating as she
turned in to Jimmy’s parking lot and pulled in to a space. “So,
ok….” Dinah recapped. “If Mila and Lauren aren’t married in the
 next ten years then I’ll take us all to Hawaii and if they are then
Normani will.” Dinah clarified. “Yeah,” Normani confirmed. “So
either way I’m getting a free vacation?” Ally asked happily. “That
sounds great to me.” “Me too,” Lauren agreed. “I’ve always
wanted to go to Hawaii.” Camila commented and Lauren turned
to look at her seriously for a moment.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 5/10 “You better hope that Normani
doesn’t win because you die then Camz,” Lauren teased playfully,
squeezing her hand as she shut off the engine and removed the
key from the ignition with her other hand. “Otherwise you’ll miss
out on it.” “God,” Camila grumbled. “I always miss out on
everything because I’m dead or dying. I suppose I could come as a
ghost.” She contemplates seriously. “It would save me having to
worry about bringing sunscreen or, you know, luggage.” “You’re
such an idiot,” Lauren laughed, leaning forward and kissing Camila
on the lips. “Tell you what,” she said. “If we do get married then
we can go to Hawaii for our honeymoon. Ok?” “If we get married?
If?” Camila said when they separated. “Well, I guess Normani’s
going to win this one then isn’t she? Ithought Dinah’s was on to a
sure thing…” “Aww, you did?” Lauren asked, smiling brightly as
she leant forward to kiss Camila again, the smaller girl only
allowing the contact for a moment before pushing her back, her
hand pressed firmly against Lauren’s chest. “I did,” Camila said,
“now I’m not so sure though.” She taunted. “Also, just a side note
 but if we get married.” She said pointedly. “Ithink we should get
married in Hawaii…” “Like on the beach?” Lauren asked and
Camila nodded. “Only if we get married though,” she mocked.
“Otherwise, when Normani wins her bet, I’ll be going to Hawaii to
get drunk and party instead.” “You mean you wouldn’t do that at
your wedding?” Dinah asked, unfastening her safety belt and
opening the car door, the others following her example and
exiting the vehicle as well. “I might,” Camila said closing the car
door behind her as Lauren walked around to take hold of her
hand. “I guess we’ll see.” “Can you even drink?” Ally asked
seriously, knowing that she’d been careful not to have anything
which could have been spiked at the winter formal because of her
medication. “I don’t know,” Camila answered honestly. “I could
probably have something but I’m not a hundred percent sure with
the pills I’m not. They might react badly or something.” “We
should get you drunk some time,” Normani laughed, as together
the small group made their way across the black tarmac and
entered the diner. “It’d be hilarious.” They located a booth in the
corner of the room and descended in to the seats to wait for
Clare’s arrival, Lauren sitting between Camila and Normani
opposite the other two girls. “I don’t think getting Mila drunk is a
good idea,” Dinah disagreed. “She’s already disinhibited enough
as it is. Could you imagine? She’d either go around punching the
crap out of everyone or she’d kiss them. Either way, I have to
protect my investment. I can’t have Mila making out with other
 people when I need a Camren wedding in the future.” “Plus, I
don’t think you’d want to reduce her coordination either,” Ally
chuckled. “She’ll end up with another shiner like that one.” Camila
reached a hand up to here face, forgetting about the bruising
there. “Ok, so maybe we won’t get her drunk then,” Normani
finally allowed. “It doesn’t mean that I’ll be the crazy ass cat lady
though,” she continued going back to the source of their current
conversation. “That could still be you Dinah.” “It won’t be me,”
Dinah said confidently. “I’ve too much swag for that.” “You have
zero swag Dinah,” Camila giggled lightly. “Umm, no.” Dinah
responded. “I have loads of swag. You’re wrong.” “Dinah you hang
around with one of the biggest dorks in the school,” Lauren said
affectionately, wrapping an arm around Camila’s shoulder and
kissing her temple. “She’s right, you have no swag. None.” “She’s
not my only friend you know,” Dinah countered genially. “I have
other friends too. Cool friends….” “Yeah, but we’ve only just
started hanging out with you,” Ally joked and they all laughed at
the remark, Dinah hitting her on the shoulder spiritedly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 6/10 “Lauren is right,” Camila said. “You’ve
been associated with me for too long Cheechee. The damage is
already done. There’s no way you’ll ever be popular now.” “Good
thing I like hanging out with you dweebs then isn’t it?” she asked
unable to contain her smile. “Yeah, good thing…” Camila
concurred. “Anyway, I’m allergic to cats so that still just leaves
 you Normani.” Dinah disclosed. “Sorry but it’s inevitable. Don’t
fight it. The sooner you accept your fate the better.” “You’re not
allergic to cats,” Camila divulged a little tentatively, unsure of her
memory. “Right?” “Mila, you’re not supposed to tell her that.”
Dinah groaned as the diner door opened and Clare arrived, sliding
in to the seat beside Ally, opposite Camila. “Hey,” she greeted
them all, leaning her elbows onto the table, “sorry I took so long.
The traffic was a nightmare.” She paused to look around at the
assembled group as they all welcomed her warmly, her eyes
stopping as they fell on Camila’s face and the bruising which was
visible there. “It was a misunderstanding,” Camila said, waving her
hand dismissively and leaning back in her seat. “A
misunderstanding?” Clare asked and Camila nodded. “Some
government agents accidentally mistook me for an international
spy and kidnapped me,” she said, her face neutral as she
deadpanned. “They held me prisoner for three days in this
underground basement and beat me up to try and make me spill
all the secrets I’d learnt during my espionage…you know, like
what exactly is in KFC’s secret recipe…” “No, but really?” Clare
asked turning to look at the others in search of the truth. “What
really happened?” “I just told you,” Camila responded pretending
to be insulted by Clare’s lack of trust. “Geez, why does no one
believe me?” “Maybe because you change your story every two
seconds,” Dinah said laughing. “Plus, they’re all ridiculous.” Ally
told her as the waiter came over to take their drinks order. When
he left Clare repeated her previous question, still not knowing the
answer. “She had a seizure and smacked her head against the
kitchen counter.” Lauren explained. “Yeah ok so I had a seizure,”
Camila finally admitted, “but I had one because the agents kept
electrocuting me with high voltage torture devices to try and
make me talk. I passed out before they could get anything out of
me though…” “Should we be concerned that she sounds like she
actually believes the crap that’s coming out of her mouth?” Dinah
asked the others and Camila made a face at her best friend for
trying to ruin her fun. “You can’t just let me have my fun can
you?” she asked. “You always have to ruin it. You guys are so
mean.” “I actually kind of like your story,” Clare said genuinely.
“You have a great imagination. Have you ever thought about
writing?” “No,” Camila answered, pleased with Clare’s curiosity. “I
mean, I don’t exactly have time to write when I’m busy travelling
the world and selling top secret information to the highest
bidder.” “So can you tell me your codename or is that
confidential?” Clare asked playing along with Camila’s game.
“Seeing as you’re the only one interested enough to ask me,” she
said, glancing around at the other girls who were watching the
interaction entertained. “It’s ‘The Cactus.’” “The Cactus?” Dinah
laughed. “Don’t judge mine when yours would be ‘The Volcano.’”
Camila scolded.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 7/10 “That’s better than The Cactus,” Dinah
 commented, content with her nickname when compared with
Camila’s. “No it isn’t,” Camila disagreed. “A Volcano is obvious,
unreliable and destructive. A Cactus isn’t. Cacti are awesome.
They’re unique and they not only survive but thrive in the
harshest conditions. They store water like I store secrets. No one
ever truly knows just how much of either they hold but they know
they do.” “Shut up,” Dinah groaned in response to Camila’s
carefully thought out response. “Besides,” Camila continued
smiling at having schooled her best friend, “have you seen Cacti?”
she asked. “They aren’t the most attractive plants in existence,”
she said comparing them to herself again, “but they’re total
badasses with their spikes. Plus they can change people’s moods,
perception and cognition with their psychoactive agents. All
things which are useful when you’re a spy…” “A volcano could be
dormant though…” Ally suggested. “Then it wouldn’t be so bad
right?” “Who wants an inactive, undeveloped, sleeping spy?”
Camila asked. “I have to agree with Camila,” Clare agreed with the
smaller girl. “No one would ever hire you with a codename like
that Dinah.” “Ugh, you suck,” Dinah whined at her best friend.
“How are you still so smart when half your brain got crushed by
your skull? That’s not fair you know…” “More important
question,” Lauren said tightening her hold on Camila and pulling
her girlfriend closer against her side with the arm draped around
her shoulders. “Why are you in such a good mood today? You’re
normally completely out of it after a seizure…” “I’m not allowed to
 be in a good mood?” Camila asked. “No you are,” Lauren was
quick to reassure her as the waiter returned with their drinks and
placed them on to the table in front of them, Normani reaching
for hers almost instantly and taking a large sip, apparently thirsty.
“I love it when you’re happy. I’m just surprised that’s all. You’re
normally knackered.” “I told you I slept for most of the day,”
Camila reminded her. “Otherwise it might be because my brain is
still misfiring. I guess we’ll never know for sure though.” Lauren
studied Camila for a moment and she noted her girlfriend’s bright,
care free eyes and the warm smile which seemed to have been
permanently plastered on her face since she’d picked her up
earlier. Lauren loved Camila, she loved everything about her, but
this version of her girlfriend, the jovial, witty, interesting,
untroubled version was by far one of her favourite. “Ugh, you’re
so cute,” Lauren said, leaning forward and kissing Camila on the
lips firmly, her mouth lingering there as she enjoyed the contact.
“Would you stop being so fucking cute please?” she asked pausing
momentarily before kissing her again, this time maintaining the
contact for even longer. “I can’t help it,” Camila said grinning
broadly when Lauren released her lips again. “I’m just cute. You
need to accept that fact and deal with it.” “I can’t deal with it
because the fact that you’re cute makes me want to kiss you all
the fucking time,” Lauren told her. “So what’s wrong with that?”
Camila asked smirking, her left eyebrow quirking up at the
question. “Nothing except that it’s starting to give me a bad
 reputation,” Lauren said continuing to kiss Camila, her mouth
moving down to playfully bite at her girlfriend’s neck briefly.
“People think I’m soft now because of you.” She explained, her
hands tickling Camila’s stomach. “I mean, look what you’ve turned
me in to…” Camila squirmed in her seat trying to escape Lauren’s
assault. “No, please,” Camila begged, still trying to escape
Lauren’s grasp. “Lauren!” “Oh God,” Normani groaned drolly as
she watched them. “It happened again. They do this all the
fucking time!” “Alright crazy cat lady,” Dinah teased, enjoying the
sight of Camila so obviously happy. “You’re just upset because you
know I’ll win our bet now. It’s ok. I know it must be hard
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/74774946813/trialsand-
tribulationschapter68 8/10 for you….I mean, who’s going to look
after all your little kitties when you’re paying for my trip to
Hawaii?” “You guys are so weird,” Clare chortled highly amused,
shaking her head from side to side. “Except for maybe you Ally.”
She rectified her generalisation. “Thanks Clare,” Ally
acknowledged. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to
hang out with this lot?” she asked as Lauren finally stopped
irritating Camila and kissed her again. “You always tickle me!”
Camila criticised, pushing Lauren off her gently. “You know that I
hate it. You do it on purpose.” “It’s so much fun though,” Lauren
told Camila, her eyes glancing up at the person who she’d wrongly
assumed would be the waiter approaching their table to take
their food order. “Hey,” Rachel said meekly, holding up one hand
 in some semblance of a greeting. “Rachel,” Lauren responded,
instantly feeling defensive and sitting up straight in her seat,
ready for a confrontation. “What the fuck do you want?” “Iugh, I
was wondering if we could talk?” she asked, her eyes shifting
between the greeneyed girl and Camila questioningly. “I haven’t
seen you around at school since I’ve been back.” she told Lauren.
“That’s probably because she’s been avoiding you,” Normani
muttered, her defences also up. “I don’t know if I want to talk to
you.” Lauren answered honestly. “The last time that we talked I
ended up with a couple of fractured ribs…” “Look, I’m really sorry
about that,” Rachel apologised. “I justI wanted a chance to
explain…” “Yeah, a chance to explain that you’re crazy,” Dinah
interceded, leaning one elbow against the table and turning to
stare at Rachel intimidatingly. “Can we please just, I don’t know,
go somewhere and talk for a moment?” she suggested to Camila
and Lauren. “I won’t keep you long I promise…” “You want me to
go somewhere with you?” Lauren scoffed. “Do you think I’m that
stupid? I’m not going anywhere with you. You probably have
David hidden away somewhere ready to attack me again.” “I don’t
mean outside or anything,” Rachel clarified. “Just, like, over
there,” she explained, pointing to a vacant table near the front of
the diner. Lauren looked at Camila for a moment and saw her
girlfriends’ eyes narrow thoughtfully in consideration of Rachel’s
offer but she couldn’t read her thoughts and didn’t immediately
answer the blondes’ request. “Please?” Rachel pleaded. “Ijust
 want to talk I promise.” “I don’t know,” Lauren said, her eyes
studying her girlfriend again and waiting for some kind of
indication. “What do you think Camz?” she asked when Camila
still remained silent. “Ok,” Camila agreed, making a move to slide
out of the booth and stand up. “Are you fucking serious?” Dinah
asked her best friend standing up. “You remember what she did
right Mila?” “Yes,” Camila replied. “Do you remember what I
did?” She questioned emphatically. “She provoked you!” Dinah
said angrily defending Camila’s behaviour in the library. “That’s
not an excuse,” Camila argued. “She kissed me and I almost
blinded her.” “Are you seriously going to talk to her?” Normani
asked also surprised. “Yeah,” Camila replied, turning to Lauren
who remained seated and offering her girlfriend her hand. “Are
you coming?” she asked.
Chapter 69
A/N: I know that this has taken a long time to get to you and I
apologise but my family is literally imploding at the moment so
I’ve been a little distracted. Anyway, I can’t guarantee the quality
of this chapter because I haven’t proof read it and my mind has
been elsewhere but I hope you enjoy it regardless. Lauren looked
between Camila’s hand and her friends’ faces hesitantly. As far as
she was concerned she didn’t owe Rachel anything, especially
after what she’d done to her. In fact, she’d more than made
peace with the prospect of never having to talk to her again.
Apparently Camila had other ideas though, her own guilt for her
 past behaviour towards the blonde girl driving some inexplicable
desire to hear her out. Lauren sighed to herself as she considered
her options which were to either stay where she was and deny
Rachel’s request or accompany her girlfriend. Lauren understood
Camila’s reasons for wanting to listen to Rachel, she did. She knew
that Camila hated leaving things unresolved, that since the
accident she’d almost always attempted to remedy any
misunderstandings or conflict which she’d been involved in.
Lauren valued her girlfriends’ attitude, but she didn’t share it in all
instances, especially when it came to Rachel, who had done
nothing but make their lives difficult since the start of the school
year. “Babe?” Camila pressed; the word soft as it escaped her lips,
pulling Lauren from her private meditations. The smaller girls’
tone wasn’t demanding and the word wasn’t an instruction or an
order, but Lauren was powerless to refuse the subtle hint of
invitation once Camila had uttered it. “Alright,” Lauren agreed
begrudgingly, taking hold of Camila’s hand and glaring at Rachel
simultaneously. Camila helped Lauren out of her seat and on to
her feet. “Thank you,” Rachel said gratefully to them both,
ignoring Lauren’s pointed look and turning around to make her
way over to the vacant table she’d pointed out earlier. “If the
waiter comes over order me a hamburger and fries,” Camila told
Dinah decisively. “Are you fucking crazy Mila?” Dinah asked her
best friend stunned. “You’re actually going to do what she wants?
You don’t owe her anything. You don’t have to hear her out. She
 wants to apologise so she’ll feel better but you should let her
fucking suffer. She deserves it after what she’s put you through.”
“I’m not crazy,” Camila responded simply, “and I’m not doing this
for Rachel, I’m doing it for me.” Dinah turned to Lauren, lifting her
arms up at her sides questioningly, shaking her head. “Lauren?”
Dinah said, surprised that the greeneyed girl would even entertain
the idea of giving the blonde a moment of her time.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 2/14 “Order me one too,” Lauren said
decisively, leaving no more room for discussion or protest despite
actually agreeing wholeheartedly with her. Lauren didn’t want to
speak to Rachel any more than Dinah wanted her to; especially if
it meant that the blonde would get some absolution for her past
actions which, as far as she was concerned, were unforgivable.
Camila tugged gently on Lauren’s hand and guided her away from
their group to where Rachel was now already seated. When
they’d gone, Clare turned to Dinah who was sat beside her and
asked, “So…that’s Lauren’s crazy exgirlfriend right?” “You mean
Satan?” Dinah countered rhetorically her eyes following her best
friend as she lowered herself into a chair opposite the girl in
question. “Yeah, that’s her.” Dinah nodded, her gaze never
leaving the trio who were now sat across the diner out of earshot.
“She’s kind of hot,” Clare noted, her eyes flicking over to the
blonde. Dinah glanced at Clare pointedly, an unimpressed look on
her face at the comment. “Please tell me that you’re joking,”
 Dinah said and Clare flashed the other girl a small smile at the
Polynesians dismayed expression. “What?” Clare asked as
innocently as she could muster. “She is.” “Ugh,” Dinah grumbled
in disbelief, shaking her head as she followed Clare’s gaze back to
the small group, “lesbians.” Dinah strained her ears to try and
eavesdrop on the conversation which would soon take place
across the room, but all she could hear was the loud music which
was playing over the stereo system. “Lesbians?” Clare asked
confused. “Yeah,” Dinah said turning to look at her again. “You’re
all crazy.” “Are you including Camila and Lauren in that sweeping
generalisation?” Clare asked laughing at the taller girls words.
“Including them?” Dinah scoffed lightheartedly out of the corner
of her mouth. “They’re the worst of you all.” She joked. “Would
you two shut the hell up?” Normani scolded, hitting Dinah on the
forearm across the table. “The music in here is already making it
hard enough to listen to what they’re saying.” She complained.
“Your big mouth isn’t making it any easier Dinah.” “Fine,” Dinah
sulked as she moved her hand across her mouth as though she
were doing up a zip. “I’ll shut up,” she promised, her eyes joining
the other girl’s and settling back on where her best friend was
seated, apparently waiting for Rachel to break the silence
between them. “So,” Camila finally said when the blonde still
failed to speak. “What did you want to talk to us about?” she
asked, taking Lauren’s hand in her own beneath the table. Rachel
shifted uncomfortably from side to side, all the bravado and
confidence she’d shown on previous interactions with Camila now
gone, her eyes never quite meeting the brown ones before her.
“Well,” Rachel said, leaning back in her chair but deciding better
of it and sitting up tall again as her hands found their way on to
the table in front of her. “I wanted to apologise for, you know,
what happened between us….” She explained, lifting her eyes to
meet Lauren’s green ones. “What? You mean, when you beat the
shit out of me?” Lauren asked bluntly and Rachel’s gaze flitted
back down to the table evidently ashamed of her actions. “Yes,”
she said, lifting them once more. “I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse
for what I did and I deeply regret it.” She said humbly. “I know
that doesn’t fix things but I just, I wanted to…you know, try to
make things right somehow and I thought that maybe an apology
was the best way to start…” Lauren laughed in response to
Rachel’s apology, not buying it for a single second. “You’re
apologising?” she asked leaning forward slightly, closer to the
table. “You’re fucking sorry? You put me in the godamn hospital.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 3/14 “I know…” Rachel attempted to
explain but Lauren kept on, not allowing her the chance to speak.
“You assaulted me!” Lauren continued angrily. “I didn’t do
anything to you…” “I know that,” Rachel tried again. “I know
and…” “No,” Lauren stopped her harshly. “You don’t get to feel
better about what you did to me Rachel.” She told her defiantly.
“You left me alone in the parking lot at school barely able to
 fucking move…” “I’m sorry,” Rachel apologised again, her eyes
moistening upset at Lauren’s reaction. “I am so sorry…” “You
know what?” Lauren said, shaking her head, agitated. “Dinah was
right. We don’t owe you anything…” “No you don’t,” Rachel
agreed. “Fuck this,” Lauren swore, lifting up her free hand in
demonstration and turning to look at Camila who was watching
her closely from where she sat. “I’m going back to the others.”
She said, making a move to stand up. “Ok,” Camila responded
simply, squeezing Lauren’s hand for an instant and then releasing
it so that she could leave. “Wait, you’re not coming?” Lauren
asked her surprised, hovering between the two positions
uncertainly. “No,” Camila answered truthfully. “I’m not.” “Camz…”
Lauren started. “I get it Lauren, I do.” Camila reassured her. “You
don’t have to stay and hear Rachel out,” she said supportively,
understanding her girlfriend’s point of view, “but I am going to.”
“Why?” Lauren asked her girlfriend in disbelief. “Why would you
want to stay and talk to her Camz?” she questioned. “She’s the
reason that you ended up in rehab…” “No, I’m the reason that I
went to rehab,” Camila disagreed. “It wasn’t Rachel…” “It was,”
Lauren interrupted. “She kissed you…” “Yeah,” Camila agreed.
“She did. She kissed me and then I hit her. I hit her.” She
emphasized. “Me, Lauren…” “Yeah, but you didn’t know what you
were doing Camz!” Lauren said frustrated. “She did. She knew
exactly what she was doing and she still did it anyway! You didn’t
know any better! You couldn’t help the way you reacted…” “That
 isn’t true,” Camila said, her voice rising in response to her
girlfriends tone. “I made a mistake that day but you and I both
know that I’m not completely blameless in what happened, no
matter how much I wanted to believe that I was. You always have
a choice in how you choose to respond to a situation Lauren. Yes,
I have some problems which mean that I don’t always make the
right decisions. I mean, I’m impulsive at times and I have a temper
which I find hard to control but…I still have a choice.” She said,
her tone softening. “I’m not a hostage to my emotions. They don’t
hold me completely captive. I can see that now. Back then I
thought that they did, that my head injury meant I was exempt
from blame but I’m not.” She shared, glancing at Rachel. “I’m not
perfect….I could have stopped myself that day if I’d wanted to but
the truth is that I didn’t. I didn’t stop because my reaction wasn’t
about Rachel…it was about me…” “Camz you went to rehab,”
Lauren reminded her again. “You left because of something that
she started and we were separated for six weeks…six fucking
weeks.” Lauren reiterated poignantly, her voice cracking slightly
as she remembered their estrangement. “You were gone and it
almost killed me here without you…” “I’m sorry,” Camila
apologised, reaching her hand up for Lauren’s but failing to take
hold of it, her girlfriend lifting it up and using the back of it to
wipe at her eyes, upset. “It wasn’t your fault. It was hers. It was
Rachel’s.” Lauren assured her but Camila knew better, even if
Lauren refused to accept the truth of the matter. “You’re wrong,”
 Camila told her gently. “I stopped contact with you when I went
to rehab and that’s what hurt you. That’s why it was so difficult
for you. It wasn’t about the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 4/14 distance between us. It was about the
separation. You wanted to stay in touch but I couldn’t and I didn’t.
That was my choice. Rachel didn’t make me do that…” “You would
never have gone in the first place if it wasn’t for her though!”
Lauren argued and Camila gave her a sad look. “Yes I would have,”
she said softly. “Don’t you see that?” she questioned. “Rachel
might have been the catalyst for me going to rehab but it would
have happened one way or another, with or without her…” “You
don’t know that,” Lauren said and Camila tried again to reach for
her girlfriend’s hand, this time successfully. “Don’t tell me what I
do and do not know Lauren,” Camila said patiently, her tone kind
as she pulled on the brunette’s hand so that she was sitting
beside her once again. “I know how I felt back then and I know my
own mind.” She stated. “You know that I do too…you told me
once remember? On New Year’s Day, down at the beach? You
said that I was insightful and smart, that I knew what I was
feeling…” “Yeah, but….” She started to protest but Camila cut her
off. “Rehab was inevitable,” she sighed, stroking the back of
Lauren’s hand with her thumb. “I was always going to end up
there Lauren. I wasn’t coping…I thought I was….we all did but I
wasn’t, not really. Rachel might have helped me to get there but
 she wasn’t the reason that I needed to go. I was.” Camila reached
her free hand up and wiped a tear off her girlfriend’s cheek with
the pad of her thumb. “You hold me to a completely different
standard than everyone else that you know, but you shouldn’t.”
Camila told her, brushing a hair out of her face. “I have to make
things right with Rachel and I understand why you might not be
able to do that yourself, honestly, I do.” She told her. “You were
caught in the middle and you got hurt because of me, because of
us. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. You were
right….you didn’t do anything.” Camila continued placing her hand
on Lauren’s shoulder. “So, you should go back to the others if you
want to.” She encouraged. “You don’t have to stay here but I am
going to.” She repeated her words from earlier. “I have to. I won’t
be long, ok?” Lauren looked between Camila and Rachel
indecisively, uncertain what to do. On the one hand she really
hated Rachel for what she’d done to her, for what she’d put her
through both physically and emotionally but, on the other hand,
Camila’s words had affected her to the point that she was finally
able to see the truth in them and Lauren wanted to stay and hear
what her girlfriend had to say. “I don’t want to go back to the
others,” She said eventually having mulled over the options in her
head for a minute. “I want to stay with you Camz.” Camila smiled
at Lauren and rubbed her upper arm, pleased. “Ok.” Camila said,
taking Lauren’s hand in her own again. “I’d really hoped that you
would.” Camila turned her attention back to Rachel, who had
 been watching the interaction silently from her seat, not wanting
to interrupt. “You know, you were right about me Rachel,” Camila
said, her eyes watching as the blonde’s hand fidgeted with the
salt and pepper shaker on the table between them nervously. “I
was. How?” Rachel asked timidly, uncertain what Camila was
referring to. “You said that I had been projecting my selfloathing
on you when I’d hit you,” Camila explained. “It was here that
you’d said it, remember? In the bathroom.” Rachel appeared to
think for a moment, evidently trying to recall the content of their
conversation but failing. “I don’t remember that.” She said
truthfully shaking her head when the memory had not come back
to her. “Well, you did and you were right.” Camila informed her. “I
was. I didn’t know it then but, I wasn’t hitting you in the library,
not really…I was hitting myself. I was projecting my feelings on to
you because in that moment, I was angry at you for what you’d
said and I was mad at myself because I’d wondered whether it
was true. Lauren was the only
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 5/14 person to ever show any interest in
me besides you and that made me think about my injuries again.
It reminded me how much I’d changed since the accident, how
much I’d lost, how everyone else saw me…” she paused for a
moment thoughtfully. “I’d had a really bad day before you even
turned up and I was feeling selfconscious, you just, you caught me
at the worst possible time. You fed into my insecurities and self-
 loathing. You reminded me once again how incapable I was, how
useless and damaged I’d become and so I hit you. I hit you
because I was so angry at what you’d said…because you’d implied
that I wasn’t special, that I wasn’t anything, that I was
worthless…but, I realise now I wasn’t just angry with you, I was
angry with myself. I was angry because everything you insinuated,
I thought too and I hated myself. I hated myself more than I could
ever hate you…” Camila paused for a moment to drop her gaze to
the table. “I’d been pushing back those feelings for so long you
know…” she continued. “I’d been trying to suppress them for
almost six months…trying to ignore them and, when I hit
you…when I snapped.” Camila continued. “It felt so good.” She
admitted. “It was like everything that I’d been holding in, all that
resentment that I had towards myself, it finally had an outlet. I
could finally let it go. So I didn’t stop and I just kept on hitting
you.” Camila met Rachel’s eyes and she felt Lauren’s green ones
burning a hole in the side of her head. “I’m sorry,” Camila
apologised sincerely. “No matter how you’d treated me up until
that point, you didn’t deserve that.” “Yeah, well I’m sorry too,”
Rachel also apologised, looking between both Lauren and Camila,
her eyes falling on to the dark purple bruise on the smaller girl’s
face. “I was being a bitch. I was just jealous of you,” she admitted.
“I was jealous of both of you.” she finished, her eyes now on
Lauren who was watching her. “You probably could have done
without all the shit that me and David put you through what with,
you know…everything else that you had going on.” She paused for
a moment, her hands now fidgeting with the menu on the table
distractedly. “I said some really horrible things to you…” she
continued after a moment, “and I hate myself too…for being like
that, for the words that I used. They were…filthy and disgusting,”
she said, her eyes not on Camila but on the chequered table cloth
as she considered them. “Just like me,” she added self-
deprecatingly, her tone so quiet Camila almost missed it. “I wish
now that I’d just accepted your apology when you gave it to me
afterwards but I was being stubborn and irrational
and…and…stupid. I was so fucking stupid.” Rachel looked between
Lauren and Camila again whilst she gathered her thoughts. “You
know, I had a lot of time to think about what I’d done to you both
whilst I was finishing my community service,” she shared. “I was
lucky to get away with the punishment that I did really
because…what I did to you Lauren, it’s inexcusable,” she said
addressing the brunette specifically, referring back to the assault.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me but I wanted you to know that
I’ll stay away from you after today, I promise. You don’t have to
worry about me doing anything at school or anywhere else for
that matter…” “Really?” Lauren asked, not entirely buying it.
“Really,” Rachel confirmed. “I’m not messing with you Lauren. I
genuinely mean it. I won’t even look at you in the corridor from
now on, I promise. I’m truly sorry. You don’t have to believe it but
I am.” Rachel turned her attention to Camila and lifted her hand
 to gesture to the bruise on her face. “I hope that you’re alright,”
Rachel said sincerely. “That bruise looks pretty nasty…” “I’m ok,”
Camila reassured Rachel, her free hand reaching up to prod at the
purple blemish teasingly; the pain the contact elicited making her
wince slightly. “Did you have another seizure?” Rachel asked
knowingly. “Yes,” Camila answered simply, all desire to make up
an elaborate story now gone. “I’m sorry,” Rachel said
sympathetically, sinking in to her seat lower. “I’m sorry that this
happened to you, that you have to live with the difficulties that
you do but mostly,” she
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 6/14 went on, pausing only briefly to
swallow hard, her mouth dry. “Mostly I’m sorry for how I’ve
treated you and that I didn’t do anything to help with your
recovery. I’m sorry that I actually put energy in to trying to do the
complete opposite instead.” She shared, her voice rising in her
anger towards herself. “I can’t even begin to imagine…I
mean…you’re like…I don’t think… you’re…” “It’s ok,” Camila said,
reaching her free hand over to place it on top of Rachel’s
compassionately, Lauren watching the interaction with an
unexpected sense of pride at her girlfriend’s kindness. “No, that’s
the point.” Rachel said sadly. “It’s not ok Camila. It’s not fucking
ok. You’ve had it hard enough and I just…I didn’t help you…I didn’t
help either of you…I just…I made everything ten times harder….”
Rachel removed her hand from beneath Camila’s and wiped at her
now tear filled eyes with the back of it, ashamed by her emotions.
“I’m sorry,” she apologised for the sixth time in almost as many
minutes. “I’m so sorry. I just…Ijust wanted to tell you both that.”
“Iforgive you,” Camila told her earnestly, her anger towards
Rachel easily let go. “You do?” Rachel asked, the tears beginning
to fall heavier, the blonde never in a million years having expected
to hear the words from Camila’s lips. “Yes,” Camila said. “I don’t
want to fight with you Rachel. I never have done. We’ve both
made mistakes and I think the best thing we can do now is put the
past behind us, learn from it and move on with our lives. Do you
think we can do that? Can we start over again?” Lauren turned to
look at Camila, tears threatening the corner of her own eyes again
as she was suddenly overwhelmed by how happy her girlfriend’s
words made her feel. For the longest time Camila had struggled to
let go of her past. She’d been incapable of dealing with her
feelings towards the accident or anything else constructively.
Lauren had lost count of the number of times that she’d sat by
and watched helplessly as Camila had fallen apart, crippled by her
emotions to the point that she couldn’t even drag herself out of
bed or she completely destroyed her room. Now though, she was
the one setting an example for Lauren. She was the one having a
mature reaction to the situation and remain objective. She was
the one capable of labelling everything that they’d been through
with Rachel as a learning experience, not just for herself, but for
the blonde girl too. Camila was able to relinquish her past
 conflicts with Rachel as though they were nothing, as if they
didn’t mean anything to her, like they hadn’t complicated her life
more than was necessary, like they hadn’t caused her pain and
heartache. Camila had disregarded her past with Rachel and
extended her an olive branch, offered her a truce, a chance to
start over again and to Lauren that was something momentous,
something huge, and something incredible. The girl that sat
beside Lauren now was a far cry from the one that she had met in
the school hallway back in September and the brunette loved her
all the more for that. It was Camila’s reaction, her obvious growth;
her choice to forgive Rachel that encouraged Lauren to do the
same. “You always have a choice in how you choose to respond to
a situation Lauren.”The greeneyed girl heard Camila’s voice in her
head again and she knew her girlfriend was right. Lauren had a
choice. She could hold on to her anger towards Rachel, she could
remain bitter but ultimately, what would that achieve? All that
would do is turn Lauren in to someone that she didn’t want to be,
someone who was incapable of forgiving people for their past
mistakes. She’d become someone who refused to acknowledge
that everyone is fallible, that no one is perfect and Lauren didn’t
want to be like that. After all, hadn’t she made mistakes of her
own in the past? Hadn’t they been forgiven? She’d been given a
second chance on more than one occasion. Who was she to deny
that to Rachel when the other girl so obviously regretted
everything that had transpired between them all? “I’d really like
 that,” Rachel said, wiping at her eyes again, touched by Camila’s
generous offer. “I’d like that too,” Lauren said, reaching up a hand
to play with Camila’s dark locks affectionately as she studied her
girlfriend, a tender look in her eyes. “Really?” Rachel asked
turning to look at Lauren, shock on her face. “Even after what I did
to you?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 7/14 “Yes,” Lauren said, meeting Rachel’s
eyes for only a moment before returning her attention to Camila
who was watching her with a broad smile on her face. “I think
we’ve all had enough drama for one year, don’t you think?”
“You’re not just saying that?” Rachel asked, hardly able to believe
her ears. “I mean, you really mean it Lauren?” “I forgive you
Rachel,” Lauren said sincerely, sighing as she returned her
attention to the blonde. “Whatever happened between
us…between all of us,” she stated glancing between Camila and
her exgirlfriend. “It’s in the past now. Let’s leave it there…”
“Thank you,” Rachel exhaled, a genuine smile appearing on her
face through her tears. “You don’t know what that means to me,”
she went on. “I never expected you to…I just wanted to say I
was…I don’t…” “I think we’re pretty much even at this point
anyway,” Lauren said waving her hand dismissively in front of her,
wanting to assuage Rachel’s concerns completely, the other girl
clearly flummoxed and unable to form a coherent sentence. “I
mean, Camz hit you, you hit me and a car hit her so…” Camila
 made a face at Lauren’s comment but one corner of her mouth
quirked up in to a smile and she looked amused at her girlfriend’s
attempted joke. “Thank you,” Rachel said again. “You didn’t have
to. I’d completely understand if you could never forgive me for
what I did.” “We’ve all behaved in ways we’re not proud of at
some time or another,” Lauren said, one hand still playing with
Camila’s hair, the other entwined with her girlfriend’s whose
brown eyes were observing her thoughtfully. “I think that the
important thing is to acknowledge that and try to make amends if
we can. You’re trying so I think it’s only fair that I do too. Besides,”
she started almost as an afterthought. “You were actually kind of
nice when we were together Rachel,” Lauren told her honestly.
“Back before all this I mean…” she clarified. “I wouldn’t have gone
out with you otherwise. The person that did all those things this
year, that isn’t like you, at least, it isn’t like the Rachel that I
knew.” Rachel lowered her gaze to the tablecloth again but didn’t
say anything. “Are you ok?” Lauren asked, sensing something
more was going on with the girl in front of her. “I’m fine,” Rachel
said, lifting her eyes again to look between Lauren and Camila.
“You know, I don’t want to keep you from your friends.” She
continued, clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes as she sat up
straight again. “I just wanted to apologise for everything and I’ve
done that now…” “You know you’re not an awful person Rachel,”
Lauren cut her off; recalling something she’d said earlier in their
conversation “You made a mistake. It doesn’t mean you’re
 disgusting or filthy,” she told her. “Maybe you could tell my dad
that,” Rachel remarked wiping at her eyes again. “He’s angry
about what you did?” Lauren asked her and Rachel nodded her
head slowly. “I’m sure he’ll calm down eventually.” Camila
encouraged. “He’ll come around. He’s still your dad after all. I
mean, I didn’t speak to my parents for weeks after they forced me
in to rehab and they forgave me. He’ll get past it at some point.
He can’t be mad at you forever.” “Yeah, maybe,” Rachel said
sounding unconvinced. Her eyes were fixed on her hands which
were fiddling with the condiments on the table again but Lauren
finally understood what the blonde meant, even if Camila hadn’t
quite caught up yet. Everything made sense to the greeneyed girl
now. She thought she understood the reason for Rachel’s anger
towards herself and Camila, why it had suddenly changed so that
it seemed out of proportion in relation to what had happened
between them all. Initially, back at the very beginning, Rachel had
been nothing more than a nuisance for Lauren and Camila. She’d
tried to break them up because she’d wanted Lauren back,
because she was jealous of their relationship now that she was
finally admitting to her friends that she was a lesbian. Even in the
library it had still been about that. She’d kissed Camila then
because she’d wanted to cause conflict in their relationship but
she’d http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trials-
andtribulationschapter69 8/14 never been aggressive. In fact,
wasn’t it Lauren who had forced the blonde up against the lockers
 in a rage? It was only after Camila had hit her that Rachel had
really turned nasty and become more threatening. It was only
after that interaction that she’d become physically abusive.
Something had changed that day and it wasn’t just because of
Camila. It was because of something else. Lauren thought she now
knew what that might have been. “You’re not disgusting and
you’re not filthy,” she repeated realising that Rachel’s father had
used those words against her and not because of the assault, but
because of her sexuality. “You’re neither of those things Rachel
and I’m sorry that you’re dad feels that way about you because
you’re attracted to girls.” “He’s not alright with you being gay?”
Camila asked, finally catching on. “Not everyone is as lucky as you
guys I guess,” Rachel replied simply and Camila looked taken
aback by the blondes’ admission. “Rachel…” she said. “I’m
sorry…I…” “Don’t worry about it,” Rachel told her. “It’s fine. It’s
not an excuse for what I did to you.” “Your dad is an idiot.” Camila
commented. “He shouldn’t have said those things. There’s
nothing wrong with you…with us…” Rachel just shrugged but
didn’t respond to Camila’s reassurances. “He found out that you
were gay after what happened in the library didn’t he?” Lauren
questioned perceptively. “The school told him what you did…the
reason that Camz hit you…” “Yes,” Rachel confirmed. “They did.”
“You hadn’t told your parents that you liked girls?” Camila asked
quietly. “I’d told my mom,” Rachel shared with them. “She said it
would be best if I didn’t tell my dad. She said there was no point
in upsetting him over something that I’d probably grow out of in a
year or so. He’s so homophobic…” she trailed off. “You wanted to
prove to yourself that it wasn’t a phase though didn’t you?”
Lauren questioned in realisation. “You wanted to prove her
wrong. That’s why you wanted to get back together with me?
Why you went after Camz?” “I wanted to be sure of my sexuality
before I threw away my relationship with him,” Rachel divulged.
“So, I tried to get back with you. I know it sounds stupid and it is. I
don’t know what I was thinking really…I guess I wasn’t. I don’t
know if you’ve noticed this but there are surprisingly few lesbians
at our school Lauren,” Rachel informed her. “I only know about
Jessica Reynolds and she’s dating someone from another school…
after her the only ones that I know of are sat at this table…” “Why
didn’t you just say something?” Lauren asked her. “Perhaps I
could have helped you. It’s not like I didn’t have problems when I
first came out. It took my parent’s a little while to get used to the
idea. Maybe my dad could have spoken to him or something…”
“You don’t know what he’s like Lauren,” Rachel said. “There’s no
talking to him. He hates me now. He won’t even look at me
anymore. He barely even says two words to me since he hit…”
Rachel paused abruptly trying to cover her slip. “He hit you?”
Lauren asked her and Rachel hesitated for a moment before she
answered. “No,” she said but Lauren could tell she was lying and
the resentment she felt towards the man welled up inside of her
unexpectedly. “That’s why you were so angry at Camz,” Lauren
said. “She accidentally forced you to come out to your dad and he
didn’t like it. He hit you, didn’t he Rachel?” she repeated her
previous question and this time Rachel nodded her head. “Just
once,” Rachel shared with her. “He thought he could beat it out of
me as though it was something I’d chosen, like it wasn’t just who I
am.” She disclosed, chuckling despite the situation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 9/14 “Rachel, you have to tell someone,”
Camila told her. “No,” she said. “I don’t. He hasn’t done it since. It
was just that one time. Now he just acts like he doesn’t have a
daughter and that’s fine, because as far as I’m concerned I don’t
have a father either.” She paused for a moment to consider
something. “I suppose I was projecting things on to you guys too.”
She acknowledged. “I guess we’re all pretty good at that.” Lauren
turned her head distractedly for a moment when she noticed the
waiter approaching the table where the rest of the girls were sat,
their food in his hands. “You should go,” Rachel told them, also
noticing his arrival. “You don’t want your fries getting cold.
There’s nothing worse than that.” Lauren stood up from where
she was sitting and helped Camila on to her feet. “So I’ll see you
around school?” Lauren asked and Rachel leant back in her chair
cautiously. “Probably,” she answered and Lauren nodded her
head once, taking Camila’s hand in her own. “I hope everything
works out with your dad,” Camila told Rachel sincerely, the
blonde girl smiling gratefully in response. “I hope that you feel
 better soon.” Rachel countered gesturing to her face and Camila
lifted her hand to her left cheek reflexively. “What this?” she said,
her tone light and playful. “I barely even know it’s there.” “Maybe
I’ll see you around sometime.” Rachel said tentatively. “Maybe,”
Camila agreed, nodding her head and offering Rachel a wave in
farewell. She turned and began to make her way back over
towards their friend’s but stopped when she realised Lauren
wasn’t moving. “Why don’t you come and sit with us?” Lauren
suggested to Rachel as Camila twisted back around to face the
blonde again. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Rachel said,
standing up from her seat and stepping in front of Lauren. “Are
you sure?” she asked and she followed Rachel’s gaze as it found
Dinah and the rest of the girls who were watching the interaction
closely from where they sat. “I’m sure.” She said. “I think it might
take a while before your friends want me hanging out with you.”
“Maybe another time?” she offered and Rachel smiled. “I’d like
that.” She said before giving both Camila and Lauren a wave and
disappearing in the direction of the door. They both watched her
leave before returning to their own table, Lauren sliding in to the
booth before Camila. “So?” Dinah asked as soon as they’d sat
down. “What happened?” “Nothing happened,” Lauren said as
Camila picked up one of her fries and shovelling it in her mouth
hungrily. “Nothing happened?” Ally asked. “No,” Lauren said.
“Nothing happened.” “So what did she want to talk about?”
Normani asked taking a sip of her drink. “She wanted to
 apologise.” Lauren said, eating her own fries. “Did you tell her
that she could shove her apology up her ass?” Dinah asked and
Lauren shook her head. “No, Iforgave her.” Lauren answered and
Dinah’s mouth dropped open so wide that the brunette was
almost positive a fly could have flown straight in to it and choked
the Polynesian.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 10/14 “Please tell me you’re joking Lauren.”
Dinah pleaded. “I mean, I can understand Mila forgiving her. She’s
fucking stupid sometimes when it comes to things like that but I
thought you’d know better. Rachel’s been nothing but a bitch to
both of you.” “I’m kind of with Dinah on this one,” Normani
agreed with the taller girl. “Are you forgetting what she did to
you?” “Yes,” Lauren replied smiling brightly as she felt Camila’s
hand settle on her knee supportively. “I guess I am.” “See what
did I tell you?” Dinah asked, turning to Clare. “Lesbians…they’re
all fucking crazy.” “You do know I’m a lesbian right?” Clare asked
laughing. “Let me ask you something Dinah,” Camila said, finally
engaging in the conversation and sitting back in her seat. “Why
did you forgive me?” “When?” Dinah asked her best friend
confused. “When I treated you like crap for two weeks following
my nosebleed that time.” She clarified. “Oh come on,” Dinah
complained. “This is not the same as that.” “Why not?” Camila
asked. “You’re my best friend Mila,” Dinah said. “Of course I’d
forgive you. Besides, you were going through a rough time and
 you didn’t put me in the hospital did you? I actually ended up
putting you in there….kind of…” “Alright,” Camila continued,
realising she wasn’t going to get through to Dinah using herself as
an example. “What about Mary Clark? You forgave her and she
stole your boyfriend. Aren’t you like, lab partners now…” “We
were freshman when that happened.” Dinah protested. “Plus, I’m
with Siope now. Do you really think I’d hold a grudge against her
forever? She’s actually really nice when you forget what
happened. She makes Chemistry class go quicker that’s for sure.
Mr Stone can be really boring when he wants to be.” Camila lifted
an eyebrow meaningfully at Dinah’s words and helped herself to
another one of her fries whilst she waited for the penny to drop.
“Ok, you know what? What Rachel did to you guys and what Mary
did to me are not anywhere near on the same level.” Dinah said.
“Sure they are.” Camila disagreed. “Rachel knew she was being a
bitch,” Dinah protested. “Yeah, well so did Mary,” Camila
countered. “She knew you were dating Nathan but that didn’t
seem to stop her did it.” “She never hit me though,” Dinah
argued. “Yeah but you never hit her either.” Camila returned
smugly. “Look,” Lauren said, not wanting to have to justify herself
to her friends having finally come to accept Rachel’s apology
herself. “All you guys need to know is that both Camz and I have
forgiven her. You don’t need to agree with it, but you need to
accept it.” “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and
expecting the other person to die.” Clare commented and Camila
 looked at her impressed. “Buddha?” she asked. “Yeah,” Clare
confirmed. “I saw it on Tumblr once.” She admitted honestly. “So
what?” Normani asked Lauren. “You guys are all friends now?”
“No, we’re not friends, not exactly,” Lauren replied honestly, “but
we’re not enemies either. We’re just us. We’ll see what happens I
suppose…” “I’m kind of glad that you guys made up with her,”
Clare said, lifting her burger to her mouth and taking a bite.
“Why?” Lauren asked, taking another couple of fries off her plate.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 11/14 “She’s hot.” Clare answered simply
and Dinah shook her head as she added. “She’s single right?” “Oh
my God,” The Polynesian girl groaned, taking a bite of her own
food. The girls spent the next forty minutes chatting, Lauren
putting a veto on the topic of Rachel and instead changing the
subject to something more stimulating instead. “You know prom
will be coming up soon,” she reminded them all. “We should go.”
“Juniors at your school are allowed to go to prom?” Clare asked
surprised. “They’re not at yours?” Ally questioned and Clare shook
her head. “No, ours is just for the seniors.” She told them. “It’s
kind of cool that you guys can go too though. I mean, it’s a joint
thing right? You don’t have your own?” “No, it’s a joint one,”
Normani answered. “I don’t know how much I want to go
though.” She admitted. “It’ll kind of suck not having anyone to go
with.” “You’ll be with us.” Lauren told her. “Yeah, but you’ll all
have dates.” Normani complained. “What makes you think I’d
 go?” Camila asked Normani teasingly and Lauren frowned at her
girlfriend. “You wouldn’t?” she questioned. “Depends…” Camila
said, taking a nonchalant sip of her drink. “On what?” Lauren
asked. “On whether you actually ask me or not.” Camila smirked,
lifting one of her eyebrows challengingly. “I’ll think about it,”
Lauren said playfully and Camila rolled her eyes at her girlfriend.
“Well, don’t take too long.” She said standing up from her seat.
“Remember that you told Normani she could share me with you.
If you wait too long she might get in there first.” “Where are you
going?” Lauren asked as Camila made a move away from the
table. “I need to use the bathroom,” she told her girlfriend. “Is
that alright?” “I suppose,” Lauren said shrugging and Camila
shoved her lightly on the shoulder. “Do whatever you want…I
don’t care. It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything. Go to the
bathroom. Date Normani…I never liked you much anyway.”
“You’re such an asshole,” she groaned. “I guess you won’t want to
go to prom with me then?” she queried and this time it was
Camila’s turn to shrug. “Nice try,” Camila told her, “but that still
doesn’t count as you actually asking me.” Lauren watched after
Camila as she made her way across the diner towards the
bathroom before returning her attention to the rest of the girls at
the table. “I’m pretty sure that counts as me asking her right?”
she asked them and Ally made a face. “No, it doesn’t. She’s right.”
The small girl settled. “Yeah, I mean it didn’t actually include the
words, ‘will you go to the prom with me?” Normani concurred.
 “Ugh, fine.” Lauren groaned standing up. “I’ll go and ask her.”
“Whilst she’s in the bathroom?” Clare laughed. “Romantic.” “She
asked me to be her girlfriend in the bathroom.” Lauren chuckled.
“You’d be surprised how romantic it can be.” “I think that’s
because it was Camila though,” Ally said, making a face. “She’s
adorable enough to get away with something like that…you on
the other hand….are not.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/75403696427/trialsand-
tribulationschapter69 12/14 “Yeah, it’ll just make you look like
you’re a massive pervert or something,” Normani laughed loudly.
“Dinah what do you think?” Lauren asked the taller girl. “About
what?” Dinah asked, looking a little nauseous. “Are you alright?”
Lauren asked, noticing her ashen complexion and realising she’d
been uncharacteristically quiet over the last few minutes. “Yeah,”
Dinah said, squeezing out of the booth past Clare in a rush. “I’m
just feeling a little sick that’s all. I’ll be right back.” Lauren
watched as Dinah made her way in to the bathroom before slowly
sitting herself back down in to her own seat. “I don’t think it’d be
romantic if I ask Camila to prom with the sound of Dinah being
sick in the background.” Lauren noted drily and the other girls
laughed. “Ithink you’re right about that.” Ally chortled. “I’m not
surprised she feels sick,” Normani said, taking a sip of her soda. “I
mean, she was dipping her fries in her milkshake…like, eww…who
does that?” “Camz,” Lauren told them laughing to herself. “Your
girlfriend is so weird.” Normani said and Lauren nodded her head.
 “Yeah, I kind of love that about her though.” Lauren commented.
“Ok, now Ifeel a little sick,” Normani joked and Lauren hit her
firmly in the arm. “Do you think we should check that she’s
alright?” Ally asked and Lauren shook her head. “Camz is there.
She’ll make sure Dinah’s ok.” Lauren said, settling back in to her
seat and having another sip of her drink. Inside the bathroom,
Camila was just washing her hands when Dinah dashed in through
the door hurriedly and threw herself in to the nearest cubicle,
sliding on to her knees and wasting no time in emptying the
contents of her stomach in to the toilet. “Dinah?” Camila asked
concerned, throwing her paper towel in to the bin and walking
over to where her friend was retching noisily. “I’m ok,” she heard
her friends small voice return as she leant her back against the
cubicle wall and wiped at her mouth with a piece of toilet paper.
“Yeah sure,” Camila said, crouching down beside her. “I throw up
for no reason all the time too.” Dinah gave Camila a pointed look
and the smaller girls’ lip quirked up as she realised what she’d
said. “Yeah alright,” she acknowledged remembering when she’d
thrown up in her bin because of a voicemail message. “What’s
going on?” “Nothing,” Dinah replied. “Ithink maybe Ijust have
food poisoning or something.” “You ate the same thing that I did.”
Camila reminded her, brushing her hair back over her shoulder
and caressing her brow. “Are you sure it isn’t something else?”
“Like what?” Dinah asked. “Like, I don’t know…” Camila said,
sliding on to the floor beside her and taking her hand in her own.
 “Something else…” Camila lifted her eyes to meet Dinah’s, her
meaning transparent to them both. “Ask me.” Dinah prompted
her best friend, keen to finally be able to tell someone else the
truth. “On a scale of one to ten,” Camila started, confusing Dinah
for an instant. “How pregnant are you Dinah?” “On a scale of one
to ten?” Dinah asked. “I’m like an eleven.”
Chapter 70
“Really?” Camila asked with a hint of surprise in her voice at
Dinah’s admission despite having had her own suspicions recently.
“Yeah,” Dinah said, wiping at her mouth with the piece of tissue in
her hand again as Camila stroked the base of her friends thumb
with her own. “I am.” “Shit,” Camila exhaled as she met Dinah’s
probing eyes, her best friend evidently waiting for her to say
something further in response to the news. “I…you…we checked
though and…how can you…the test…it was…I mean…wasn’t it?
Did I…?” she stuttered, her thoughts disorganised and vocalised
aloud in a similar manner. “I will explain everything to you I
promise,” Dinah said, using the toilet seat as leverage to pull
herself back up on to her feet, the nausea she felt having subsided
almost as quickly as it had come now that the contents of her
stomach had been emptied. “Just… not here.” She clarified as she
helped Camila up, her hand clasping on to the smaller girls’ tightly
as she tugged on it. Dinah released Camila’s hand and squeezed
past the brunette, exiting the stall in order to wash her hands at
the sink. Camila followed closely after her, stopping only a few
 feet behind the taller girl. She watched as Dinah checked her
appearance in the mirror and reached over to the paper towel
dispenser, removing a single sheet which she used to wipe at her
lips again carefully. After a few minutes of quietly contemplating
her reflection, Dinah turned around and discarded the pieces of
tissue into the nearby trashcan, apparently satisfied that the
colour had returned to her face and that she was adequately
presentable once again. “Don’t give me that look Mila,” Dinah
protested when she was once again facing Camila, who stood
watching her with a concerned expression on her face. “What
look?” Camila asked innocently as she tried to make her face look
neutral, her muscles struggling to form a smile, her hands hidden
away in the back pockets of her jeans for lack of anything better
to do with them. “That look,” Dinah said, lifting her hand and
gesturing it towards Camila’s face. “What this one?” Camila said,
removing one hand from her pocket and pointing at her face with
her index finger. “This is just my face.” She commented simply.
“I’m not giving you a look…” she disagreed. “This is just me…you
know…being me…” “You look worried.” Dinah told her. “You look
like I’ve just told you that I have cancer or something but…it’s not
a big deal Mila…” “Right, no…of course it isn’t…” Camila
responded, making a disinterested face and waving her hand in
front of her dismissively. “I mean, yeah…this is nothing really….it’s
not like it’ll change your life or anything…you already said that
you wouldn’t keep it…” she stated, trailing off when she noticed
 the look that crossed Dinah’s face at her words. “Right?” she
questioned. “We should go back to the others,” Dinah said,
spinning on her heels and exiting the bathroom hurriedly, leaving
Camila standing alone, staring after her. “Wait what?” Camila
exclaimed aloud in the now empty room as she put a hand to her
head and rubbed at her temple soothingly with her fingertips, a
headache starting in the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 2/12 corner of her left eye, a low subtle
throbbing which she was all too familiar with. “Jesus….” She
muttered, spinning around on the spot for a moment hesitantly as
she tried to collect her thoughts and then following briskly in
Dinah’s footsteps. When she arrived back at the table she found
Dinah standing beside it talking with the other girls. “Are you sure
that you’re alright?” Normani asked Dinah as Camila came up and
stood alongside the taller girl. “Yeah,” Dinah said, casting a quick
glance in Camila’s direction. “I’m fine. It was just a false alarm.”
She informed them. “You know I can drive you home if you
want?” Lauren told Dinah kindly. “You don’t have to walk.” “I
know and I appreciate the offer,” Dinah said, reaching up a hand
and placing it on Lauren’s shoulder gratefully, “but Ithink a walk in
the fresh air might help.” “Wait, you’re going?” Camila asked,
finally catching on to what was happening. “Yeah,” Dinah said,
meeting Camila’s eyes meaningfully. “I’m not feeling great so
Ithink I’m just going to head home.” “I’ll walk with you,” Camila
 offered and the corner of Dinah’s mouth curved up in to a half
smile. “You don’t have to do that.” She responded, feigning
reluctance. “I’m a big girl, I’m sure I can make it home in one
piece.” “I’m sure you’re right,” Camila told her, “but I’ll only worry
otherwise, especially if you’re not feeling very well.” “Are you
sure that you don’t mind?” Dinah asked and Camila shook her
head. “No, of course not.” She assured her. “Ok then,” Dinah
finally agreed, relinquishing Lauren’s shoulder and stepping
around Camila to retrieve her bag from the floor. “I’ll see you guys
at school tomorrow.” Dinah said to the others offering them all a
small wave. “Nice to see you again Clare.” She told the other
brunette. “You too,” She returned. “Hope you feel better Dinah,”
Normani said sincerely. “Thanks.” She acknowledged before
turning her attention to Camila. “I’ll wait for you outside alright?“
“Ok, I won’t be a minute.” She replied, watching as the taller girl
made her way to the door of the diner and exited quietly. Lauren
slid out of the booth and stood up in front of Camila once she’d
gone. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you guys?”
Lauren asked and Camila shook her head, reaching her hand for
her girlfriend’s and taking it in her own. “No, we’ll be ok.” Camila
reassured her. “Stay here with the others and have some
dessert.” She suggested whilst rocking back and forth on her heels
carefully. “Then when you’ve finished, get me a ‘Death by
Chocolate’ to go and bring it over to mine.” “You want me to
bring you pudding?” Lauren asked laughing at her girlfriend’s
 appetite. “What? Does it look like I’m a delivery girl or
something?” “Please?” Camila pleaded. “I think I’m going to need
some kind of payment up front in order to guarantee delivery,”
Lauren informed her playfully. “Ok,” Camila agreed. “That’s fair I
guess.” She leant forward and pressed her lips softly against
Lauren’s, her mouth moving deftly against her girlfriends as they
kissed. “Try not to get in too much trouble while you’re gone,”
Lauren advised her when they parted, knowing full well what
Dinah and Camila could be like when they were left alone
together.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 3/12 “How much trouble could we possibly
get in to?” Camila asked smirking mischievously and Lauren gave
her a pointed look. “Knowing you two?” Lauren asked rhetorically.
“A lot.” “It’s only a twenty minute walk to Dinah’s from here.”
Camila reminded her. “That’s not enough time for us to get up to
anything too mischievous. Besides, Dinah’s not feeling great so
she won’t be thinking about causing mayhem for a change.”
“Alright,” Lauren said placated, rubbing the top of Camila’s arm
with her free hand. “Then just, promise me that you’ll get there in
one piece and that you won’t get hit by any cars or anything en
route.” “I can’t…promise that,” Camila responded seriously. “I
mean it happens you know?” “Babe, I’m being serious ok? Please
be careful.” Lauren told her. “I’m always careful.” Camila
returned. “It’s you idiot drivers that aren’t…” she trailed off
 teasingly. “I’m not an idiot driver,” Lauren protested light-
heartedly. “No, but you did almost run me over once,” Camila said
chuckling softly. “If I remember correctly, you ran in front of my
car.” Lauren laughed. “So that wasn’t really anything to do with
my driving was it?” “Yeah ok,” Camila conceded, “but, still…”
Lauren shook her head in amusement and cut Camila off, kissing
her on the lips again quickly, sensing that she was about to start
rambling. “I will see you later.” Lauren said pointedly, reaching up
her free hand to rub Camila’s left cheek with the pad of her
thumb. “I’m looking forward to it.” Camila told her, smiling
brightly and kissing Lauren again, her small hands finding their
way to Lauren’s back. “Do you think that they actually forget that
we’re here when they do this?” Normani asked the other two girls
who had remained quiet whilst they watched the exchange before
them. “No,” Lauren said, separating herself from Camila and
turning to look at Normani. “Now I know that it annoys you Ijust
do it on purpose.” “You guys suck,” Normani complained and
Camila made a face which suggested that she didn’t
wholeheartedly disagree with the statement. “Ok you should go,”
Lauren encouraged and Camila wrapped her up in a quick hug
before tapping her playfully on the backside. “Drive carefully,”
Camila urged and Lauren smiled as her girlfriend waved goodbye
to the others and started to make her way towards the door. “I
love you too.” Lauren called after Camila and she turned around
to blow her a kiss, a broad grin on her face. Lauren sat back down
 as Camila departed and Clare leant her elbows on to the table
determinedly. “Ok, so seriously…can we talk about Rachel for a
moment?” she asked Lauren who rolled her eyes at the question
and leant back against the seat behind her sighing noisily. “I’m not
setting you up with Rachel,” Lauren told her bluntly, chuckling. “If
you want to ask her out then look her up on Facebook.” “I’m
going to need her surname?” Clare prompted. “It’s Murphy,”
Lauren relented, turning her attention to the entrance and
watching as Camila stepped through the door and outside, “but
that’s all you’re getting from me. The rest is completely up to
you.” “Thanks,” Clare said gratefully, taking out her phone and
opening her Facebook app as Lauren continued to watch her
girlfriend through the glass. Outside, Camila stepped up behind
Dinah who had turned around at the sound of the door opening.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 4/12 “Are you ready?” Dinah asked, putting
her phone away and Camila nodded her head and placed a hand
on Dinah’s back. “Yeah, let’s go.” she said, guiding Dinah forward
across the tarmac of the parking lot towards the sidewalk. They
started on their way towards Dinah’s house together, Camila
linking their arms and remaining silent, waiting for her best friend
to start talking. “It was negative,” Dinah told her after a few
minutes had passed with them walking in comfortable silence and
Camila turned her head to meet Dinah’s eyes. “The pregnancy test
that Itook at your house.” She clarified. “It was negative. You
 didn’t imagine it.” “Ok,” Camila responded, exhaling loudly,
relieved that she hadn’t dreamt the whole thing. “You really
thought that you might have done?” Dinah asked her
perceptively, noticing Camila’s relief. “I don’t know.” Camila
answered honestly. “My memory isn’t exactly brilliant and there
was a lot going on that day what with the news about the trial. I
wondered if I’d gotten confused or something and you just didn’t
have it in you to tell me then because I was in such a mess.” “No, I
haven’t been hiding it from you.” Dinah said honestly. “I’ve
wanted to tell you the truth since I found out,” she disclosed
genuinely, “but it just never seemed to be a right time. Then you
kind of brought it up in the bathroom and I saw my opportunity to
finally be honest with you.” She paused for a moment to consider
something. “What made you suspect that I even was?” she asked
interestedly. “Lauren,” Camila answered without hesitation and
Dinah looked slightly betrayed at the response. “You told her?”
Dinah asked. “No,” Camila was quick to defend herself. “We took
Sofi to the park the other weekend and she was telling Lauren
that you made her try ice cream and sweetcorn. I made a
comment that you’d been eating a lot of weird things recently and
she joked that maybe you were pregnant. It just got me
thinking…” “She doesn’t suspect anything though?” Dinah asked
worriedly. “I don’t think so,” Camila reassured her. “I mean, she
hasn’t said anything to me if she does.” “Ok,” Dinah replied
seemingly soothed by this knowledge. “That’s good then.”
 “Dinah…” Camila started tentatively, thinking back to the
exchange in the bathroom. “Are you really keeping the baby?” she
asked and Dinah looked at her a smile spreading across her lips.
“Yeah Mila,” Dinah told her, “I’m keeping it.” “I thought that you
didn’t want to?” Camila asked puzzled. “I thought you said that
you weren’t ready to be a mom…” “I’m not,” Dinah agreed, “but a
lot of things have changed since the last time that we spoke about
it Mila. Things are different now.” “How?” Camila asked and so
Dinah told her everything that had happened from the moment
she’d left her house that afternoon until now. “I went straight
over to see Siope,” Dinah explained. “He was still kind of mad
about the way that I’d just left in the middle of things but I told
him what had happened, that I’d gone to take a pregnancy test
because I didn’t want to fight if it was over nothing. I said that it’d
come back negative but he wanted to see it with his own eyes,
only, I’d put it in the trash can at yours and didn’t have it one me.”
“So you took another one?” Camila asked understanding where
Dinah was going with her story. “He drove us to the pharmacy and
we bought another test.” Dinah confirmed. “This time it was
positive when you took it.” Camila realised. “Actually, no.” Dinah
informed her. “It was still negative.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 5/12 “I don’t understand,” Camila said.
“The second test that I took was negative too,” Dinah reiterated.
“Siope was still upset with me though. He couldn’t understand
 why I’d go off and take the test by myself. He said it should have
been something that we’d done together and we started arguing
again about everything. He was still upset that I’d not wanted to
keep the baby and I was still angry with him for trying to pressure
me in to doing something that I didn’t feel ready for.” “So that’s
why you were still fighting all the time?” Camila questioned.
“Yeah,” Dinah said. “I really thought that we might break up.” She
shared with Camila. “I mean, all we’d ever seemed to do was
shout at each other…” “Why didn’t you say anything?” Camila
asked. “You could have spoken to me about it.” “I didn’t want to
bother you.” Dinah replied. “You already weren’t sleeping
because of the trial and your speech was bad again. Ijust didn’t
want to add to that further.” “Dinah I’m your best friend.” Camila
reminded her. “You could have talked to me you know. I’m not
going to fall apart. You’ve been so amazing this last year and you
should have someone that you can talk to if you need to. God
knows that you’ve listened to me enough…” “Mila, you were
there for me when I needed you,” Dinah interrupted. “You were
amazing and you gave me some incredible advice. You told me
exactly what I needed to hear.” She continued. “Jesus, you even
went to get me a pregnancy test from the store. You didn’t have
to do that but you did…” “You still didn’t talk to me though,”
Camila stated confused. “Yeah, but it wasn’t because I didn’t think
you couldn’t handle it,” Dinah divulged reading Camila’s
insecurities and realising the smaller girl thought she didn’t
 believe she was put together enough to deal with it. “It was
because I didn’t think it was important what with everything else
you had going on.” “Dinah you’re important to me,” Camila said,
pulling the taller girl closer to her by their entwined arms. “You’re
my family…you’re one of the most important things in my life.
You’re one of the people that I cherish the most in this entire
world.” She said sincerely. “There are very few things which I
would consider more important than you. The trial doesn’t even
hold one percent of the significance to me that you do.” Dinah
quirked up her lip in to a tender smile and disengaged her arm
from Camila’s to wrap it around her waist. “Well, in future I
promise to come to you alright,” Dinah said and Camila stepped
to the side out of the taller girls grasp so that she could hold her
best friend’s hand. “Ok,” Camila acknowledged, watching their
hands swing lazily between them as they walked. “I found out the
Thursday after we were at Lauren’s for our regular Wednesday
night movie marathon,” Dinah disclosed. “Do you remember? It
was the first one that Clare had come to and it ended kind of
abruptly because your lips were blue?” “Oh yeah,” Camila said
recalling the memory. “I spent most of it sleeping.” “Right,” Dinah
responded. “Anyway, the next morning I’d had breakfast and then
afterwards I suddenly felt really sick and had to run to the
bathroom.” “Kind of like today?” Camila questioned and Dinah
nodded. “Yeah,” Dinah said. “It got me thinking that maybe I was
pregnant. That maybe the test had been wrong because I’d still
 not had my period yet and my mom had suffered really bad
morning sickness at the start of her pregnancy.” Dinah paused for
a moment as they came to a stop at the curb and waiting for the
light to change in order to cross. “So I typed pregnancy test
accuracy in to google on my phone,” Dinah continued once they
were safely across, “and it said that sometimes you can get false
negatives early on in the pregnancy so I went to school that day
and told Siope what had happened. He said I should take another
test just to be sure and we went after school to get one.” “Let me
guess?” Camila asked. “It was positive.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 6/12 “Yep,” Dinah granted nodding her
head. “It was positive.” “Did you freak out?” Camila asked. “A
little,” Dinah admitted. “I mean, Jesus Mila, I did not want to be a
mom. I was so relieved when you told me that the test was
negative.” “You’ve decided to keep it though.” Camila reminded
her. “Yes,” Dinah allowed. “After it came back positive we kind of
had to bite the bullet and talk to my parents regardless of what
we decided to do….” “Were they angry?” Camila asked. “They
were upset,” Dinah shared honestly. “They didn’t really know
what to say but I could tell that my mom was disappointed in me.
I told her that I didn’t want to keep it, that I wanted to finish out
school instead and go to college…” “What did she say?” Camila
queried interestedly. “She asked what Siope wanted to do,” Dinah
replied, a small smile on her lips at the memory. “He said that he
 wanted me to keep the baby, that he loved me and wanted us to
be a family…he said that he’d get down on one knee and propose
if that showed them and me how committed he was to us.”
“Wow,” Camila said surprised. “So…what happened?” “So, we all
sat down and talked about things.” Dinah explained. “My parents,
his parents and us…” “They convinced you to keep it?” Camila
asked. “No,” Dinah said. “They gave me the opportunity to if
that’s what I wanted.” “What do you mean?” Camila questioned.
“Well, the reason I didn’t want to have a baby just yet was
because I thought that I wasn’t ready, you know?” she asked. “I’m
still young and I still have to finish school. I mean, what kind of life
could I offer a child if I didn’t even get my GED? I’d find it hard to
get a job and we’d have nowhere to live.” She said, pausing for a
moment as they came to another crossing and they waited for the
light to change. “My mom said that no one is ever ready to have a
child. That it doesn’t matter how old you are, you always think
that it’s not the right time or the right circumstances. She asked
me if I love Siope and I do. I do love him and I want to be with
him. I want to have his children one day…” “Well, when life hands
you lemons…” Camila commented a small smile forming on her
lips. “She said that I could still finish school even if I had the
baby.” Dinah continued. “She said that Siope could come live with
us and that she’d look after the baby during the day because she’ll
be off anyway, looking after my brother….she said that if
practicalities were the only thing stopping me from keeping it
 then they needn’t be. My mom told me that I should do what I
wanted but that I should really think about it before I made a
decision. So, me and Siope went and talked about things and we
decided to do it. I realised I could live in the knowledge that we’d
tried to make a go of it but I don’t think I could have made peace
with the idea that I’d terminated our child. Our relationship would
never recover from that and I’d always be left wondering, what if.
If he last year has taught me anything it’s that life isn’t something
to be taken for granted and perhaps this happened for a reason,
perhaps Siope was right. Maybe it was a sign or something.” “You
think it was meant?” Camila asked her and Dinah shrugged. “I
don’t know.” Dinah answered truthfully. “All I know is that I love
Siope and he makes me happy. Our parents are all being really
supportive and that makes this so much easier but I’m scared, I
mean, contrary to what I said earlier, this is huge…it’s going to
change everything and I might be making a massive mistake…” “I
don’t think you’re making a mistake,” Camila told Dinah
supportively, squeezing her hand as they came to a stop outside
her house. “I think that there are very few opportunities in this
life where you can make yourself truly happy and if one presents
itself to you then you should grab hold of it with both hands. You
should do everything in your power to keep the people you love
close to you Dinah, because one day they’ll be gone. Wouldn’t
you rather look back on your life content in the knowledge that
you lived for you and no one else, that you made decisions as best
 as you could to fill your life with the only real things that matter;
happiness, love, family?” she asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 7/12 “Yes,” Dinah agreed. “I would.” “You’ll
be an amazing mom Dinah,” Camila reassured her. “Do you know
how I know that?” she asked. “No,” Dinah laughed. “Is it because
I’m so cool?” she questioned, trying to make a joke of the
situation. “No,” Camila said, her tone serious, her eyes fixed firmly
on her friends. “It’s because for the last seventeen years you’ve
looked out for me and you’ve never stopped, not once, not even
when I tried so hard to push you away. You stood by me through
everything that happened this year Dinah and I don’t think I can
ever repay you fully for that but, maybe this will help a little…”
she said, placing her free hand on Dinah’s shoulder. “You’ll be a
great mom,” she stated confidently, “and your baby,” she said,
moving their joined hands over Dinah’s stomach. “Well, that’s
probably one of the luckiest kids I’ll ever know in my entire life.”
She shared. “You and Siope might not have planned this but you’ll
love this baby, both of you will and I know what you’re like when
you love someone. You’re loyal and supportive and generous.
Your love is something rare and special. This baby has no idea the
jackpot that it hit with getting a mom like you; to have someone
that will always watch their back, that will protect them and stand
up for them, who will never give up on them even if they’ve given
up on themselves.” “Mila…” Dinah said, tears in her eyes. “No,
Dinah I mean it.” Camila said. “You already have every quality that
you need to be a fantastic mom and as your friend, as someone
who knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of your love…I
can honestly say that you don’t have anything to be scared about.
You’ll be a natural. If I didn’t already have seventeen years of
proof then the last year would be enough to convince me of that.”
Camila smiled at Dinah. “Life throws you a curve ball everyone
once in a while but it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just
unexpected.” Camila continued. “I never was one to believe in
fate, not really…” “You are now though?” Dinah questioned.
“Now, I don’t know…” Camila answered honestly. “All I know is
that I’ve come to realise that everything you experience in life
leads to something else. Life doesn’t stop because you come up
against something, it keeps on going regardless. It’s
just…sometimes the things that you come up against, the things
you have to experience, they aren’t always what you initially
perceive them to be…sometimes they’re only a catalyst to
something else, a temporary hardship which helps you on your
journey on to something better.” “What do you mean?” Dinah
asked. “Well, like with the accident,” Camila explained. “I never
would have thought that I’d look back on it one day and be
grateful that it happened to me but I am. Today I’m grateful
because it’s changed the way that I see everything. It took me
almost dying to realise what it really meant to be living. Now I’ve
finally managed to work through my feelings towards it I see
 things differently. Now I appreciate everything that much more.
Every breath that I take is a gift, not a chore. Every sunrise I
witness is a blessing. Not everyone is as lucky as I am and there’s
so much in life to be grateful for, to experience, and I want to do
it all now…the accident, it bought Lauren in to my life and I could
never have thought that something which caused me so much
pain could bring me so much happiness but it did. The accident
changed my perspective, it made me realise what’s important and
who in my life I can count on to be there for me when I need
them. So yes, the accident was horrible and I’d rather not have
had to experience it but, it wasn’t my ultimate destination. It was
just a catalyst to something else…to something better. You’re
pregnancy,” Camila said, rubbing Dinah’s arm. “It’s probably not
going to be easy, I mean, I’ve never been pregnant but I hear it
can be hard…” she rambled. “Anyway, it’s just a temporary
hardship too and when it’s over, when you hold your baby in your
arms for the first time you’ll see too, just like I have that it was
just a catalyst to something better.” “Jesus Mila,” Dinah said,
wiping at her eyes. “No wonder Lauren fucking loves you when
you say shit like that.” She finished, trying to lighten the heaviness
which had settled between them. “You do know you’ll be my kids
Godmother right? You’ll teach them so much…” Dinah said, trying
her best to stay away from getting sentimental as much as
possible but somehow feeling like she was dangerously close to
failing. “I mean, I wouldn’t want anyone else to fill that
 role…that’s yours and only yours…and maybe partly Lauren’s….”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 8/12 “Lauren?” Camila asked confused.
“Yeah,” Dinah confirmed. “I mean, if she’s going to be a
permanent fixture in your life then it’s pretty much guaranteed
that she’ll play some kind of role in the baby’s. Besides, you two
have to get married now Mila, I can’t afford to take all you idiots
to Hawaii if I’m going to have a kid. What do you think I am?
Made of money?” Camila laughed at her friend’s remark and
Dinah pulled her into a warm embrace, tugging her small body
close to hers and squeezing her tightly. “Ilove you Mila,” Dinah
said, kissing her lightly on the cheek. “I love you too Dinah.”
Camila returned, closing her own arms around the taller girl’s
body. “Promise me you won’t die when you go in to hospital in a
few weeks.” Dinah asked of her. “Why are you worried about
losing your bet?” Camila countered laughing. “No,” Dinah said.
“I’m worried about losing you.” “Yeah well don’t,” Camila
comforted her. “I’m not planning on going anywhere just yet. You
think I’d really miss my best friend becoming a mom? I’m going to
love that kid so much you have no idea. Just you wait. I’m going to
teach it all kinds of annoying traits… like….I don’t know…to poke
you repeatedly until you do what they want.” “I think I can live
with that,” Dinah said, releasing Camila and wiping a tear from
her own cheek. “Yeah, I could definitely live with that.” Camila
smiled at Dinah and took hold of her hand, squeezing it tightly in
 her own. “Are you going to be ok?” Camila asked her. “I’m going
to be fine,” Dinah assured her. “I’m going to eat some crackers
and call Siope.” “Ok, but if you need anything you’ll call me right?”
Camila probed and Dinah laughed. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d
rather speak to.” Dinah complimented. “Now go home and see
your girlfriend. Lauren is stopping by right?” “Yes,” Camila
admitted, amused that the two of them were so easy to read.
“She’s bringing me dessert.” “Well, I definitely can’t keep you
from that,” Dinah noted releasing Camila’s hand. “I’ll call you
tomorrow.” Camila promised. “Text me later.” Dinah countered
and Camila’s grin broadened. “Yeah ok, I will.” She said as she
started along the street, Dinah making her way up to her front
porch. Camila turned and waved at Dinah in goodbye, the
Polynesian girl returning the gesture before disappearing inside,
her front door closing firmly behind her. Camila made the rest of
the journey back to her house in quiet reflection, thinking about
everything that had happened this last year, a smile permanently
etched on her face as she counted all her blessings, which she was
pleasantly surprised to find, outweighed the disasters. When she
reached her house, her smile grew even wider at the sight that
awaited her; Lauren sat patiently on her front door step, a brown
paper bag resting on the concrete by her side. She stood up when
she saw Camila approach and walked along the garden path to
meet her girlfriend halfway, the bag containing Camila’s food in
her hand. “I believe someone ordered, ‘Death by chocolate.’”
Lauren said, holding the bag up in front of Camila. “That would be
me,” Camila acknowledged taking the bag from Lauren. “Thank
you.” She said, leaning forward and kissing her on the lips
appreciatively. “Anything for you,” Lauren said, her eyes studying
the bruise under Camila’s right eye. “I see you made it back in one
piece.” “I see you managed not to crash your car.” Camila noted
as Lauren put an arm around her shoulder and they walked back
up towards the front door together.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 9/12 “I guess we’re both awesome then,”
Lauren joked. “Check us out.” “I bet everyone wished they had
the skills that we do,” Camila teased, pulling out her front door
key from her pocket and opening it up, her parents out with Sofi
visiting her abuela. Camila gestured Lauren into the house and
she bent down in the hallway to greet Jasper who was wagging his
tail excitedly at the greeneyed girl’s arrival. “You know I think he
misses living with you,” Camila said, closing the door behind her
and stopping to pat Jasper on the head in greeting briefly. She
stood up and threw her keys on top of the cabinet in the hallway,
Lauren following suit. “So is Dinah feeling better?” Lauren asked
and Camila glanced at Lauren over her shoulder as she made her
way in to the kitchen with her dessert. “Yeah, I think the fresh air
really helped.” Camila told her, walking around the kitchen
counter and pulling out a plate and a spoon from the cupboards.
She emptied the contents of the container within the bag on to
 the plate, a large chocolate fudge brownie, covered in chocolate
sauce and stepped over to the microwave to reheat it slightly.
“What about you?” Lauren asked as Camila leant back against the
kitchen counter. “What about me?” she returned. “Are you
feeling better?” Lauren questioned, stepping in front of Camila
and picking up both of her hands in her own, entwining their
fingers together between them. “Ifeel fine,” Camila reassured her.
“I’ve forgotten all about the seizure.” “I meant about things with
Rachel,” Lauren clarified realising Camila had misunderstood the
question and that she’d believed her earlier protestations from
earlier. “Oh,” Camila said, looking a little sheepish. “Rachel…yeah,
I do feel better actually. I feel a lot better.” “Me too,” Lauren told
her. “Thank you for making me come with you to talk to her. I
didn’t want to…” “There’s nothing wrong with that you know,”
Camila sustained. “I wouldn’t have thought any less of you if you
hadn’t.” “I know that,” Lauren said, “but you were right to hear
her out. What’s the use in us all holding a grudge against one
another? All it does is make you bitter at the end of the day and I
don’t want to be bitter. I want to be content and happy.” “So are
you?” Camila asked interestedly. “Am I what?” “Happy?” Camila
pressed, pushing their joined hands towards Lauren’s chest. “Yes,”
Lauren said, leaning forward and pecking Camila on the forehead
as the microwave ‘pinged.’ “I’m happy.” “Me too,” Camila said
truthfully. “You know you really surprised me today,” Lauren
disclosed openly. “I always knew you’d changed Camz. You’re so
 different now to the girl that I met last September, but, today
really proved just how far you’ve come. It’s not just words
anymore is it? You’ve actually put the accident behind you.” “You
didn’t think I really had?” Camila asked her. “I wasn’t sure,”
Lauren replied honestly. “Does that make me a bad person?” “No,
it makes you smart.” Camila told her simply. “You thought I was
getting better once before remember and we all know how that
turned out…it doesn’t make you a bad person to question me.”
“Who are you?” Lauren asked laughing to herself amused at the
now blatantly obvious but not negative change in her girlfriend.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 10/12 “I’m yours,” Camila sighed and
Lauren smiled before leaning forward to kiss her quickly on the
lips. “You know I once told you the very same thing,” Lauren
informed Camila, reaching behind her girlfriend and opening the
microwave to retrieve her dessert for her. “You did?” Camila
asked, unable to recall the memory and following Lauren over to
the counter. She sat down beside the greeneyed girl and placed
two spoons on to the counter, one of which Lauren hadn’t noticed
she’d been holding. “Yes,” Lauren answered, sliding Camila’s
dessert in front of her and remembering their first kiss at the
hospital following Camila’s seizure. “I did.” She pointed to the
extra spoon that Camila had bought surprised. “You’re going to
share your dessert with me?” “I’d share anything with you.”
Camila said, picking up her own spoon and having a mouthful of
 the hot chocolate fudge brownie. Lauren smiled to herself, her
hand hesitating over the spoon for a moment before picking it up
and taking a bite of her own. “You like it?” Camila asked her.
“Death by Chocolate?” Lauren asked lifting her eyebrow in
consideration. “I suppose it’s not a bad way to go if I had to
choose. What?” she questioned, noticing Camila’s eyes on hers, a
thoughtful expression on her bruised face as she tapped the tip of
her spoon gently against the granite surface. “Nothing,” Camila
replied, dropping her gaze to the counter and smiling, a small
chuckle escaping her lips. “No. What?” Lauren pressed and Camila
returned her eyes to the familiar green orbs which were watching
her amused. “I’m just happy,” Camila said nodding her head to
her own words. “Why is that funny?” Lauren asked as Camila took
another spoonful of brownie off the plate. “It just is,” Camila
answered. “I shouldn’t be so happy, just sat in my kitchen, eating
a piece of chocolate fudge brownie with you but I am. I am so
happy Lauren and that’s funny because if I’m this happy just doing
something as simple and as small as this with you, then imagine
how happy I could be doing something big and significant.” Lauren
smiled, wider than she’d ever smiled before in response to
Camila’s words and she reached a hand across the counter to rub
her girlfriend’s forearm, unable to say anything of any greater
magnitude in return. “Life is kind of beautiful isn’t it?” Camila
asked her. “I mean, it’s poetic don’t you think? How a few short
months ago I’d consider ending it all and now…now I can’t even
 remember one single reason why I’d have wanted to.” “I don’t
know if I agree completely with that.” Lauren said, watching as
Camila took another spoonful of brownie. “I mean, I think life can
be beautiful but I think that its beauty is dependent on the people
that you choose to share it with. All I know for certain is that
you’re beautiful Camz and that’s why my life is too. You’re what
brings beauty in to it. It wasn’t always quite as striking as it is
now.” “And you say that I’m good with words,” Camila blushed,
scooping up some more brownie with her spoon and offering it to
Lauren who took it in her mouth gratefully. “You are,” Lauren
said, “I’m just borrowing them for a minute.” Camila looked at the
plate in front of her and slid it over in front of Lauren. “You can
finish this,” Camila offered, placing her spoon on the counter in
front of her with a sense of finality that could not be argued.
Lauren picked up her own spoon and moved the remainder of the
dessert around on the plate for a moment before scooping some
of it up, aware of what Camila’s gesture meant without the words
needing to be said, “Ilove you.” “I love you too Camz,” Lauren
said, finishing up the last mouthful and pushing the plate forward
on the counter as she turned to face her girlfriend. “You don’t
need to say it,” Camila chuckled.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76041055388/trialsand-
tribulationschapter70 11/12 “Neither do you,” Lauren countered.
“I didn’t.” Camila laughed as Lauren took her hand. “Yes, you did.”
Lauren responded and Camila’s smiled brightly. “Just not with
 words that’s all.” “Yeah, well you were borrowing them.” Camila
complained playfully. “You’re welcome to have them back,”
Lauren posed, leaning forward and bringing their faces closer
together. “Alright,” Camila agreed and Lauren kissed her, their
mouths melting in to one for a few glorious minutes. “Ilove you.”
Camila breathed when they finally parted, a smirk on her face.
“Yeah, I know.” Lauren said pulling Camila’s mouth back against
hers again with the hand that was resting on the back of her
girlfriend’s neck. “I know.” She thought. A/N: So, I know some
people are complaining that the chapters are long and this should
have ended a while ago but I promise, it’s getting nearer to the
end now. Thank you to everyone that has stuck with it. It really
means a lot to know that you enjoy the story so much x
Chapter 71
Saturday morning, three weeks later, Lauren was taking the usual
route from her house to Camila’s, her red Chevrolet cruising easily
along the quiet suburban streets of Miami in the warm spring air.
She had her window rolled down and a strong breeze swept
throughout the vehicle, tousling her hair as she sang along to the
song on her stereo enthusiastically. “Let it go, let it roll right off
your shoulders. Don’t you know? The hardest part is over. Let it
in, let your clarity define you, in the end, we will only just
remember how it feels. All lives are made, in these small hours,
these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls
away but these small hours still remain.” She sang happily, Rob
 Thomas’ lyrics making her smile brightly, their meaning now
holding much more significance to her then they’d ever had
previously. She remembered every single word effortlessly, her
memory possessing an extraordinary talent for retaining them
despite the fact that she hadn’t heard the song for years. Lauren
tapped the steering wheel rhythmically with the music as she
drove and found herself feeling thankful to the listener who had
called the station and requested it, the song matching her mood
perfectly. “Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you. Let it
shine, ‘til you feel it all around you. And I don’t mind, if it’s me you
need to turn to. We’ll get by. It’s the heart that really matters in
the end. All lives are made, in these small hours, these little
wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away but these
small hours still remain.” She continued contentedly, her
sunglasses perched on the bridge of her nose to protect her eyes
from the sun, which sat blindingly low in the morning sky. “All of
my regret will wash away somehow, but how can I forget, the way
I feel right now…” She trailed off, humming along to the tune as
the song built up once more to repeat a final chorus. Right now, at
this exact moment, Lauren felt blissful. There was no other word
which seemed to more accurately describe her current
disposition. She was blissful, in almost every way and in every
single aspect of her life. For the first time, possibly ever, Lauren
was perfectly happy. “When did that happen?” she thought to
herself, grinning broadly at the realisation as she turned left onto
 a street a few blocks away from Camila’s house. It had seemed
like only yesterday that the small, troubled brunette had
blundered; quite literally, in to Lauren’s life and to say that it had
been smooth sailing ever since would be nothing but wildly
inaccurate. They’d suffered their fair share of difficulties since last
fall, Camila’s health, both mentally and physically, featuring
prominently amongst them. However, ever since she and Camila
had sat down with Rachel and put their problematic past behind
them, something had changed. It seemed, at last, that the storm
truly had started to calm and the sea was once again, not only
smooth, but almost serene. The last few weeks had been filled
with nothing but good days for the couple, enjoyable dates and
comfortable conversations about nothing of any great
importance. Evenings were spent lying together on Camila’s bed;
their arms wrapped around one another’s
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 2/14 body as they listened to their favourite
songs or watched movies which made them burst out in to fits of
uncontrollable laughter. Lauren could feel it undoubtedly, that
unexpected shift which had taken place, the subtle change of tide.
Now every day that passed seemed to bring with it a better view
of the horizon, the thick, oppressive fog lifting, and the waves
settling, so that she could now see the shore in the immediate
distance once again. “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor,”
Lauren thought, the memory of her and Camila’s first date coming
 back to her almost instantly, the reflective tone of her girlfriend’s
voice from that night echoing in her ears as though they were
once again sat together alone under the stars. Lauren had never
heard that quote before she’d met Camila, but now, it held a
special place in her heart alongside her girlfriend, the two things
eternally linked together by the significant part they’d played in
her life; by her love for them. Lauren’s eyes fell reflexively to the
promise ring that Camila had gotten for her with the quote
engraved inside, the sunlight shimmering off the silver band and
into her eyes as she studied it closely. A smooth sea didn’t make a
skilled sailor. Lauren was almost certain of that. She’d realised
over the course of her relationship with Camila that the only way
to learn and grow was to face your difficulties, your own personal
challenges, with a steely sense of determination, and most
importantly, your best possible effort. It would be hard
sometimes and you would struggle, you’d flounder until the point
of giving up, until you verged on the precipice of defeat, the
waves of despair seemingly too high to escape. There would be
days that you would fail, where you would allow water to crash
upon your deck, where you’d consider just allowing yourself to
drown in them. There was no shame in that, in believing a
situation to be hopeless, no shame at all as long as you didn’t
permit it to be, as long as you kept urging yourself forward, as
long as you kept trying. A bumpy ride was practically guaranteed
but, if you persisted, if you kept your faith that the bad weather
 would break, if you continued to bail just one bucket of briny
water every day, you’d find yourself approaching dry land again,
the promise of solid ground beneath your feet, making you
hopeful and optimistic, propelling you towards it with renewed
enthusiasm. After months of sailing turbulent water, of navigating
the rough sea, Lauren and Camila were practically at the end of
their voyage. They were on the home straight and everything was
finally coming together. The squalls were still strong around them,
forceful enough to knock them slightly off course but not enough
to sink them completely and the waves had diminished greatly, so
that although they rocked their vessel they were not powerful
enough to overturn it. Lauren could see the shore on the horizon
now. She got a better glimpse of it every single day that passed
without difficulty, with nothing but quiet ease, and she knew that
once they were safely home, when they’d finally docked their ship
in the harbour and stood once again on the firm earth, they’d
realise, the troublesome journey they’d had didn’t matter, not
when the destination was so beautifully scenic and tranquil. It
wouldn’t matter because they’d have made it, they’d have
survived and they’d both be stronger for it, more resilient. They
would have survived and they’d have found themselves in a place
filled with clear skies and nothing more than a gentle summer
breeze, a place where they could bask in the golden glow of the
sun, as she did now, a place where they could warm their
waterlogged bones, where they’d both be happy; blissful,
 together. Lauren wasn’t naïve enough to think that rainclouds
wouldn’t dampen the sky again at some point, that another storm
wouldn’t break against the shore and wash away the sand with
the ferocity of the tide. The last nine months had taught her
nothing, if not that. Happiness was not a permanent state; it
ebbed and flowed, just like the waves. There would be good and
bad days. The important thing was to remember that you could
not have one without the other. So, she had learnt to no longer
worried about it. She no longer feared another hurricane, another
downpour, another storm. If she was certain of anything, it was
this; she’d already survived one tempest, she could damn well
survive another one. “No, a smooth sea will never make a skilled
sailor,” Lauren thought to herself as she pulled up outside of
Camila’s house and spied her girlfriend sitting on the front step, a
book, as always, in her hands, “but do you know what it does
make? It makes for a pretty fucking perfect existence.” She noted,
smiling to herself at the sight of her girlfriend’s obvious
enthrallment in the story she held, her eyes remaining fixed on
the page, unaware of her arrival.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 3/14 Lauren switched off the engine and
climbed out of the car, closing the door firmly behind her, the
loud thud enough to rouse Camila’s attention from the hardback
in her hands. She looked up and smiled at the greeneyed girl
approaching, her right hand waving animatedly in greeting as she
 closed the book in her left hand and stood up. “Hey,” Camila said
warmly, tossing the book on to the concrete step behind her
haphazardly as Lauren continued up the path toward her, lifting
her sunglasses up to rest on the top of her head. “Hi,” Lauren
returned, embracing Camila in her arms and planting a tender kiss
against her girlfriend’s soft lips in greeting. “What are you doing
out here?” “I was waiting for you,” Camila told her and Lauren
smiled at the admission as she released the smaller girl. “You
were?” she asked and Camila nodded her head before gesturing
at the book which lay discarded on the ground. “Yeah, I couldn’t
wait to see you,” she answered bashfully, her cheeks growing red,
“and it’s such a nice day today so Ithought I’d sit out here and
read until you arrived,” Camila explained. “What were you
reading?” Lauren questioned interestedly, her gaze falling onto
the abandoned book which sat on Camila’s front door step, trying
to read it’s the title. “Eleanor & Park,” she responded, a pleased
smile of her own appearing on her face at Lauren’s interest. “I
don’t think I’ve read that.” Lauren mused aloud. “Is it any good?”
“I only started it ten minutes ago,” she informed the taller girl
undecided, shrugging her shoulders. “It looks promising though.”
“What’s it about?” Lauren questioned and Camila bent down to
retrieve the book from where it lay, handing it over for her to
examine. “It’s about two teenagers who fall in love,” Camila spoke
as Lauren read the summary, her eyes lifting off the back cover to
meet the soft brown of her girlfriend’s when she’d finished. “You
 know you’ll probably be heartbroken by the end of it right?”
Lauren said, handing Camila back her book. “These stories never
end happily. One character always ends up dying or breaking the
other character’s heart.” “Not always,” Camila disagreed, studying
the cover of the book and turning it over in her hands.
“Sometimes authors surprise you.” She commented. “Besides,”
she added thoughtfully, “my heart is being fixed today so how
broken could it possibly get?” Lauren reached a hand up and
brushed a strand of hair out of Camila’s eyes. “Knowing you?
Lauren asked rhetorically. “It’ll be shattered.” She said, laughing
lightly. “You’re such a hopeless romantic babe,” she informed her
kindly, her fingertips tracing the scar above Camila’s left eyebrow
delicately. “I remember the mess that you were in when you
finished reading ‘The Fault in Our Stars.’” She reminded her. “Your
heart literally breaks in to a thousand tiny little pieces each time
you read one of these books. So, tell me when you’re getting near
to the end and I’ll bring you some ice cream to help numb the
pain, ok?” “You’d bring me ice cream to help me get over the
heartbreak of two fictional characters?” Camila asked, her eyes
glistening brightly in the morning sun and emphasizing her smile.
“Of course,” Lauren replied, placing one hand on Camila’s
shoulder. “I love how you get so invested in the stories you read
Camz. It’s one of my favourite things about you. You’re so
passionate about literature.” She continued, pausing to reach for
Camila’s free hand with her own. “I could sit and watch you read
 for hours,” she admitted, squeezing her girlfriend’s small hand
fondly. “You’re so empathetic and sensitive that it’s like you
almost disappear in to the story yourself.” She disclosed
affectionately. “Your face undergoes a million different subtle
changes in expression depending on what’s happening on the
pages in front of you and I can practically see the story unfold
through your eyes, they’re so damn emotive.” Lauren stroked
Camila’s upper arm lightly with her fingertips.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 4/14 “So, if you’re sad because two people
that you fell in love with don’t get their happy ending, well, then
I’ll bring you ice cream, ok?” Lauren said. “I’ll bring you ice cream
and I’ll hold you close until you’re not sad anymore, because all
fictional characters are based loosely on someone, all stories have
some basis in life and there’s nothing wrong with mourning the
loss of love and being sensitive to other people’s sorrow.” Camila
exhaled slowly, her mouth curving up in to a lopsided smile at the
tone of sincerity in Lauren’s voice. “Do you really mean that?”
Camila asked and Lauren nodded, her hands reaching up and
cupping the smaller girl’s cheeks. “Yes,” Lauren answered. “I do.”
She confirmed, kissing Camila softly on the lips, the pad of her left
thumb grazing her right cheek lovingly. “I’m really glad that you’re
coming to the hospital with me today.” Camila told Lauren
truthfully, her eyes meeting the green of her girlfriend’s. “Did you
really think that I wouldn’t?” Lauren questioned chuckling lightly
 and Camila shook her head. “No,” she replied and Lauren’s brow
furrowed as she tried to read Camila’s countenance, the smaller
girl appearing thoughtful, her eyes seemingly looking through
Lauren to something in the distance. “Are you worried?” Lauren
asked probingly, wanting to reassure her if necessary. “About the
procedure?” she queried, her eyes flitting back to Lauren’s green
ones. “Yeah,” Lauren responded. “No. Not really.” Camila told her
honestly, a smile appearing on her lips again as Lauren’s hand
caressed her brow, just over her scar. “My doctor said it’s pretty
straightforward. Just a few quick shocks to the heart and voila, no
more chest pain and no more palpitations.” “Sounds good to me,”
Lauren commented gladly. “Me too,” Camila agreed. “So what
time do we need to be at the hospital?” Lauren asked, removing
her hand from the side of Camila’s face as the smaller girl turned
around and stepped back over to the front door. “We’ve got
about twenty minutes before we need to leave,” Camila answered
having glanced quickly at her watch and registered the time. She
opened the door for her girlfriend and Lauren stepped inside,
Camila following after her and shutting the door shut in their
wake. She placed the book which she still held in one of her hands
on to the hall table. “Have you got everything you need ready?”
Lauren questioned as Jasper bounded over to her excitedly. She
crouched down to stroke him as Camila answered. “Yeah, I just
need to pack a few overnight things,” Camila said, wandering over
to the stairs and starting to ascend them, Lauren standing back up
 and following after her. “Ithought that it was a day procedure,”
Lauren remarked, sounding surprised. “Why do you need to take
some overnight things? Ithought you didn’t have to stay in.” “I
don’t,” Camila acknowledged, casting a quick look at Lauren over
her shoulder as she reached the landing, “but, they told me to
pack something just in case and I want to be prepared.” “You
won’t have to stay in,” Lauren assured her confidently.
“Everything is going to go exactly the way it’s meant to and you’ll
be home, eating takeaway pizza, before you know it.” “Damn right
I will be,” Camila stated, opening her bedroom door and walking
inside. “I’ve not been able to eat anything since I went to bed last
night because I need a general anaesthetic and I’m starving.” She
complained, emphasizing the last word, her hand finding its way
to her stomach meaningfully. “I don’t think I’ll have any problem
eating an entire, no wait, maybe two entire pizzas to myself
later.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trials-
andtribulationschapter71 5/14 “Well, when you get home you can
have as many pizzas as you want Camz,” Lauren promised from
her position just outside her girlfriend’s bedroom door. She
watched as Camila walked over to her dresser and started digging
through the drawers in search of some pyjamas, her girlfriend
finally retrieving a pair of cotton shorts and her Ed Sheeran tshirt
which she soon packed into the small holdall that sat half full and
already waiting, on her bed. Out of the corner of her eye, Lauren
noticed a slight, almost imperceptible movement down the
 hallway to the left and she looked in its direction, a smile gracing
her lips as her eyes fell on Sofi, who had poked her head around
her bedroom door inquisitively at the sound of their voices. The
young girl grinned broadly when she noticed Lauren standing
there watching her and she pulled back the door a little more, her
hand waving at the older girl enthusiastically in greeting. Lauren
waved back at Camila’s sister and Sofi beckoned her over with her
hand, appearing secretive, a watchful look on her features which
made the greeneyed girl frown in confusion. “Lauren?” Camila
urged gently, waiting for an answer to a question which Lauren
apparently hadn’t heard. “Yeah Camz,” Lauren said, her head
snapping forward at the sound of her name, completely oblivious.
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Camila asked, sensing Lauren’s
distraction. “Ugh, no.” she admitted, making an apologetic face.
“I’m sorry.” “That’s ok,” Camila told her genuinely, a puzzled
expression crossing her own face at Lauren’s behaviour. “I just
wondered whether you thought I needed to take my medical alert
bracelet to the hospital with me.” She repeated for her girlfriend’s
benefit. “I mean, I’m not supposed to wear any metal during the
procedure so Ithought it might be easier to just leave it at home,
that way I won’t lose it. You and my mom will be there with me
the whole time, plus they’ll have my medical records so, it’s kind
of pointless having it on me isn’t it?” “Yeah, it is babe,” Lauren
responded, glancing down the hallway towards Sofi who was
beckoning her over again. “You should leave your bracelet here.”
 She said, returning her attention to Camila once again. “They’ll
know that you’re epileptic without it.” “Ok, thanks,” Camila said
pleased with Lauren’s support. She removed the bracelet from
her wrist and turned around to put it on the bedside cabinet. “Hey
Camz, I’m just going to go to the bathroom while you finish up in
here alright?” Lauren asked her, casting another quick glance
down the hallway at Sofi who was waving her over desperately.
“Sure,” Camila said, looking at Lauren over her shoulder as she
placed a hairbrush and her iPod into the holdall. Once securely
deposited in the bag, Camila stepped over to her closet and
Lauren, seeing her opportunity, walked hurriedly down the
hallway towards Sofi’s room, the younger girl opening the door
wide to let her in. Sofi shut the door quickly behind her and
rushed over to Lauren. “Hi!” she greeted noisily, her hand
reaching up to cover her mouth swiftly when she realised her
mistake. “Hi Sofi,” Lauren returned, her voice hushed,
understanding that Sofi had intended for this conversation to be
private. “Is everything ok?” she asked, crouching down in front of
the small girl. “Yes,” Sofi whispered, getting her own volume in
check. “It is now that you’re here.” “Now I’m here?” Lauren asked
mystified. “Mmhmm,” Sofi responded. “I didn’t think you were
going to come and I was scared.” “Why were you scared?” Lauren
questioned, feeling a pang of sadness at Sofi’s words. “I was
scared because I thought maybe you weren’t going to make it in
time to go to the hospital with Camila but you have to go with
 her,” she explained speedily, all the air
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 6/14 rushing out of her lungs in one quick
breath. “You have to go otherwise she’ll get sick again and she’s
so much better.” Sofi continued hastily, tugging on Lauren’s arm
pleadingly. “She plays chase with me and Jasper in the garden all
the time now.” She divulged brightly. “She even spins me around
when she catches me and it’s so much fun because a few times
she couldn’t hold me properly with her hand and I fell over on the
ground. It makes it more exciting when that happens. Mama
worries but it makes me laugh and all the air goes ‘whoosh’ out of
my lungs.” “Sofi,” Lauren said, her tone caring as she placed a
hand on the girls’ shoulder reassuringly. “Camz is going to be fine
ok. She won’t get sick again, I promise.” “I know she won’t,” Sofi
responded optimistically clapping her hands together. “Not now
that you’re going to go to the hospital with her.” Sofi responded,
jumping up on the spot happily. “You’ll make sure that she’s ok. I
know you will. You just…you have to remember to hold her hand
ok? Otherwise your powers won’t work on her,” She told her.
“You have to hold her hand, please?” she begged and Lauren
beamed as she finally comprehended what Sofi was talking about.
“Oh,” she said in realisation, her mouth drawing out the word for
a moment. “You’re talking about my unicorn powers.” she asked
and Sofi nodded. “You’re going to protect her aren’t you?” The
young girl inquired anxiously. “Of course I will,” Lauren confirmed.
 “I’m always going to take care of her.” “You will?” Sofi pressed
uncertainly, requiring further assurance. “Yeah Sofi,” Lauren
answered smiling. “I love your sister so much. I’ll always look after
her. I’d never let anything hurt her, ok?” “Ok,” Sofi said, seemingly
placated by Lauren’s promise. “Ok,” Lauren repeated and Sofi
tugged on her arm and pulled her over to her bed excitedly. “Look
what I made for her,” Sofi instructed, pointing to a picture which
sat on top of her duvet. Lauren picked the sheet of paper up and
smiled at the image which had been carefully drawn in crayon on
the page. “This is you?” Lauren asked, putting the picture back on
the bed and pointing to a small stick figure drawing in a pink
dress. “Yeah,” Sofi verified. “That’s me and then this,” she said,
pointing to a slightly taller stick figure wearing what looked like
jeans and a top, “this is Camila.” “Ok,” Lauren said feigning serious
consideration and pretending to study the picture carefully. “So
then, this must be Jasper.” She noted, pointing to a small brown
and white blob in between the two girls. “Mmhmm,” Sofi agreed.
“We’re at the park.” She told Lauren. “I can see that,” Lauren
returned, her eyes admiring the playground which was visible in
the background of the picture. “It’s from when we all went
together.” Sofi explained. “This is you here.” She shared, her small
index finger stabbing the page over a third stick figure with long
dark hair. “This is me?” Lauren asked, flattered that Sofi would
include her in her drawing. “Yeah,” she said. “See, you can tell
because you’re wearing a unicorn jumper.” Lauren hadn’t noticed
 that little detail before and she found herself grinning broadly as
her eyes settled on the image. “What are these hearts for?”
Lauren asked curiously, pointing at the little red motifs dotted
around the page. “They’re our heartbeat memories,” Sofi told her
as if it should be obvious. “This picture is a heartbeat memory too.
It’s one of mine that I made so I drew it. It’s one of my favourites.”
“It is?” Lauren asked feeling a little choked at the younger girl’s
sentiment. “Yes,” Sofi shared. “It was fun and I liked spending
time with you and Camila. Plus, none on my friends know a real
life unicorn.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 7/14 Lauren laughed to herself and placed a
hand on top of Sofi’s head to ruffle her hair. “I liked spending time
with you too.” She told the smaller girl honestly. “Do you think
she’ll like it?” Sofi asked doubtfully, looking at her creation on the
bed. “Ithink she’ll love it,” Lauren told her confidently. “Will you
come with me to give it to her?” Sofi asked picking the picture up.
“Sure,” Lauren replied and Sofi took hold of Lauren’s hand with
her free one and led her towards the door, pausing only long
enough to open it before guiding her down the hallway to
Camila’s room. “Hi Sofi,” Camila greeted the youngster
affectionately when she noticed her standing in the doorway
timidly. She finished zipping up her holdall and threw it on to the
floor at the end of the bed as Lauren came in to view. “Lauren…”
she added frowning, noticing her girlfriend’s hand entwined with
her sisters, “what’s going on?” “I bought you something,” Sofi said
taking a large step towards Camila, the hand holding the drawing
outstretched between them. “What’s this?” Camila asked, taking
the sheet of paper and examining it. “Is this us?” “Yep,” Sofi
answered, biting her bottom lip in the same adorable way that
Camila often did when she wasn’t sure of herself. “It’s when we
all went to the park together…” “It’s beautiful,” Camila praised
her genuinely, lowering herself on to one knee in front of her
sister and pulling her in to a warm hug, the picture still in her
grasp. Lauren released the smaller girls’ hand so that she could
reciprocate the gesture and Camila kissed the side of Sofi’s face
gratefully. “I’m going to take it with me to the hospital,” she
expressed, placing a hand on top of Sofi’s head and stroking her
hair. “That way I’ll be smiling the whole time I’m there.” “You
will?” Sofi asked cheerfully. “Yeah,” Camila replied
enthusiastically, casting a quick look at Lauren who was watching
the exchange with a smile on her face. “It’s so pretty.” She
commended. “It should be in an art gallery with all the other great
artists but I’m selfish.” She said, her voice lowering to a whisper.
“I want to keep it for myself. Is that ok?” Sofi nodded her head
ecstatic at the compliment. “When I get home later I’m going to
put it up on my wall,” Camila shared, looking around her room for
a space large enough to home the image and struggling to find
anywhere. When Lauren had first met Camila, her bedroom walls
were barren. There were no pictures, no posters, and no
 photographs. There had been nothing decorating them. Now
though, the opposite was true and it was almost impossible to
find a single area of exposed wallpaper, mementos and keepsakes
securely fixed around the entire room. “Where do you think we
should put it?” Camila asked her sister, a look of concentration on
her face as she tried to find a suitable place. “You should put it
there,” Sofi said, pointing up at the ceiling above Camila’s bed.
Camila glanced at Lauren who wore an expression matching her
own, a bright, amused smile. “That is the perfect spot,” Camila
said, her ceiling plain and unadorned. “That way I can look at it
every night before I go to sleep.” “Mija!” Sinu called from the
bottom of the stairs, interrupting their conversation. “It’s time to
go. Are you ready?” “Yes,” Camila returned, craning her neck in an
attempt to look around Lauren who still stood in the doorway of
her room. “I’ll be right down.” She turned her attention back to
her sister and hugged her again, kissing her first on the cheek and
then on the forehead. “I’ll see you later,” Camila said, leaning
back to look at Sofi again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 8/14 “Ok,” Sofi said, casting a quick,
significant look at Lauren. “Try to have fun at the zoo with papi,
alright?” Camila encouraged. “Then when you get home later
we’re going to have pizza and watch some movies together.” “You
promise?” Sofi asked. “I promise,” Camila said confidently,
hugging Sofi again. “Thank you for the picture. I really love it.”
“You won’t get sick again?” Sofi probed nervously. “Nope,” Camila
answered simply, reaching over to the bed and depositing the
picture on it as she picked up her stuffed unicorn which Sofi had
gotten her as a Christmas present. “I’m taking Ifos so she’ll look
after me and make sure that I get better really quickly.” “So will
Lauren,” Sofi added and Camila looked up at her girlfriend. “Yeah,
Lauren will too,” Camila responded. “So will mami. None of them
will let anything bad happen alright?” Sofi looked between Lauren
and Camila as if undecided, still evidently worried about the
prospect of Camila going away again. Lauren, realising how
difficult it must be for Sofi to understand considering her previous
experiences of her sisters’ hospital admissions, stepped in to the
room and crouched down beside Camila, taking her girlfriend’s
free hand in her own and lifting it to her lips. She kissed the back
of it softly, her eyes never leaving Sofi’s face. “I promise,” Lauren
said meaningfully, noticing the smaller girls’ smile as her eyes
locked on her and Camila’s joined hands. “I’ll protect her.” “Ok,”
Sofi said appeased as she hugged Camila tightly in her little arms.
She lingered there for a few minutes, reluctant to let her go
before finally releasing her hold. “I love you,” Sofi said before
quickly throwing her arms around Lauren in thanks, the older girl
taken aback by the unexpected gesture. “I love you too Sofi,”
Camila returned, watching the exchange and standing up, Ifos in
one hand and Lauren holding on to the other as she too got to her
feet. “Make sure that you say hello to the pandas and the
 monkeys for me.” She requested and Sofi nodded her
acquiescence as Alejandro appeared in the doorway. “Mija,” he
said addressing Camila. “You need to go or else you’ll be late. Your
mama is waiting for you downstairs.” “I’m just going,” she
informed him, turning round to pick up the picture and her holdall
only to find that Lauren held them both in her free hand. “Try to
behave yourself,” Alejandro entreated of his daughter playfully as
he stepped forward and hugged her, Lauren releasing her hand
again to allow her to participate in the embrace. “I don’t want any
surprises. If you’re not out of there by tonight I’m coming to get
you ok?” she asked, only halfjoking. “No more overnight stays.
This family has seen enough of that hospital to last us a lifetime.”
“I’ll see you at dinner,” Camila promised and Alejandro kissed her
dotingly on the side of the head. “Te amo,” he said, studying her
for a moment. “Te amo papi,” she declared and he patted her on
the shoulder encouragingly before stepping behind Sofi, out of
the way. He placed his hands on Sofi’s shoulders and watched as
first Lauren and then Camila left the room, his daughter flashing
him one last crooked smile as she passed. Together the two of
them made their way down the stairs, finding Sinu waiting for
them patiently by the door, Camila’s book in her hand. “Ithought
you’d want to take this,” Sinu said, holding it out for Camila.
“Thanks,” Camila said gratefully, taking ‘Eleanor & Park’ from her
mom and tucking the book under her arm. “Lauren, are you sure
that you don’t mind driving?” Sinu asked and Lauren shook her
 head. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trials-
andtribulationschapter71 9/14 “No, not at all,” Lauren replied
waving her hand indifferently. “It’s fine honestly.” “Well, thank
you,” Sinu acknowledged. “I really appreciate it.” She finished,
opening the front door for the two girls’ to depart through and
following after them. They made their way to Lauren’s car and
once everyone was safely inside, Camila up front with her
girlfriend, and Sinu in the back seat behind her daughter, they
made their way to the hospital where Camila was quickly
admitted and ushered in to a private room to await the
procedure. Sinu was asked to fill out some paperwork on Camila’s
behalf and she went to the nurse’s station outside to complete
this whilst Camila changed in to a gown using the ensuite
facilities. Ten minutes later, Lauren stood against one wall of
Camila’s room and watched tolerantly as a nurse placed a patient
identity band around her girlfriend’s wrist. Camila was sat up on
the edge of the bed wearing a tightfitting hospital gown, her head
bowed as she studied what the nurse was doing, her long dark
locks of hair hanging loosely around her face, obscuring it from
Lauren’s view. “There you go,” the nurse said kindly, standing up
tall again having completed her task. “You’re all set.” “Great,”
Camila said lightlyheartedly, moving her hair back out of her eyes
with her hand as she lifted her head to meet the nurse’s gaze.
“Ijust need to check a few more things alright?” she asked. “Sure,”
Camila replied, holding out her arm reflexively in order for the
 nurse to place a blood pressure cuff around it. Lauren surveyed
the scene from where she stood, her eyes finding Camila’s
chocolate ones and remaining there while the nurse completed a
set of the smaller girl’s observations. “Well, everything’s looking
good,” the nurse informed Camila, having written down her blood
pressure, temperature, heart rate and oxygen saturations in a
folder which she now held in her hand. “I’ll run these out for the
doctor to check and then I’ll be back a little bit later on to put in a
cannula for your anaesthetic, ok?” “Ok” Camila acknowledged and
the nurse smiled at her kindly before turning around and making
her way towards the door. Lauren stepped away from the wall
and wandered over towards the bed once she’d left, perching
herself on the mattress beside Camila and picking up her
girlfriend’s hand. “Nice outfit,” she teased mischievously, playing
with Camila’s fingertips out of habit, her eyes fixed on their hands
where they rested in her lap, a smirk on her face. “Shut up,”
Camila protested amused, nudging Lauren’s shoulder with her
own, her body weight sinking into the greeneyed girl for a
moment. “No seriously,” Lauren continued to joke. “It’s cute…”
“You’re just jealous because I look better in it then you ever did.”
Camila retorted and Lauren laughed, finally lifting her eyes to
meet her girlfriends. “Shit, I’d forgotten that you’d seen me in one
as well.” Lauren noted and Camila lifted an eyebrow. “I guess we
really have seen the inside of this place a little bit too much this
year,” Camila commented and Lauren draped an arm around her
girlfriend’s shoulder, pulling her into her side. “Yeah, but I’ve got a
really good feeling about today Camz,” she said, kissing the side of
Camila’s head comfortingly. “I don’t think we’ll need to come back
here for a while once this is over.” “You don’t?” Camila asked,
twisting her face to the side in order to get a better look at
Lauren. “No babe,” Lauren answered positively. “I don’t. I think
this will be the last time for a long time.” Lauren watched Camila
closely for a moment, her girlfriend’s dark chocolate eyes staring
off across the room. “Are you ok?” Lauren asked squeezing
Camila’s hand.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 10/14 “Yeah,” Camila answered, dropping
her eyes to their hands for a moment before meeting Lauren’s
concerned gaze. “I’m just thinking that’s all.” “What about?”
Lauren questioned and Camila shifted her position on the bed so
that she was facing her girlfriend. “Do things feel different now?”
Camila asked bluntly and at first Lauren wasn’t quite sure what
she meant. “Different?” she queried. “Yes. Different.” She
repeated. “Better.” She clarified. “Yeah Camz,” Lauren said.
“Things feel better now. Why?” “Well, because I think that things
feel better too.” Camila admitted. “I mean, things are better. I’m
better…” “Yeah,” Lauren urged, keen to hear Camila’s thoughts.
“You are babe. So what’s bothering you about that?” “I just, I
can’t help feeling like something isn’t quite right,” Camila shared.
“The last three weeks, they’ve been perfect, almost too perfect.
 They’ve been surreal…” “Surreal like a dream?” Lauren asked
knowingly and Camila nodded, feeling insecure about still having
the same fears she’d always held since the accident. “Yeah,” she
said quietly. “Camz you’re not dreaming,” Lauren said, kissing her
on the lips quickly. “You’re awake, I promise you. This isn’t all in
your head.” “It feels like it is sometimes though and I can’t help
the nagging feeling in the back of my head that the reason
everything has been so amazing lately is because I’m recovering
and I’m going to wake up soon.” She divulged. “It feels like I’m
giving myself this time, this happiness because when I do finally
open my eyes I’m going to be right back at the beginning again, in
pain and struggling…” “That’s not going to happen,” Lauren
reassured her, tightening her hold on Camila’s small frame. “Yeah,
I know,” Camila said, “but think about it Lauren, it would be the
perfect scenario wouldn’t it? I’d go in to have the procedure today
and then when I wake up, I’m still in the hospital, just…you’re not
because its last summer and we haven’t ever met.” “Are you
really worried about this?” Lauren questioned and Camila shook
her head. “No, not worried,” Camila answered honestly. “I was
just thinking about it, that’s all.” “You know, we did meet before
the accident,” Lauren told her. “You just don’t remember it, that’s
all. I do though, I remember it. I didn’t straight away, not when we
first became friends, but, it came back to me one day and now I
wonder how I ever forgot it.” “What?” Camila asked. “When?”
“Towards the end of sophomore year in the library,” Lauren
 shared with her. “It was during lunch period. You’d been helping
Ally out with some of her AP math work and I’d come in to meet
up with her.” Camila’s brow furrowed as she tried to recall the
memory. “I don’t remember that.” She said. “You guys were just
finishing up,” Lauren continued with the story, “and I sat down in
the chair across from you both and sighed because I was moping.”
She paused for a minute trying to recall every detail for Camila.
“You didn’t look up at me at all, you really are quite shy when you
don’t know someone” she noted warmly, her thumb tracing small
circles on the back of Camila’s hand. “You were busily packing up
your things and Ally asked me what was wrong so I started telling
her about Rachel. We were dating then and we’d been out at the
movies the night before when we’d run in to a group of her
friends. She’d acted like there was nothing going on between us
and I was hurt because I really liked her then. Ithought that she’d
liked me too, and maybe she did but she wasn’t open about her
sexuality back then, she was still hiding and it made me feel like
she was ashamed to be with me.” Lauren met Camila’s attentive
eyes and continued.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 11/14 “Ally told me I should break up with
her immediately, that I deserved someone who was willing to
acknowledge our relationship in public and that I shouldn’t settle
for being someone’s secret.” Lauren revealed. “You didn’t say
anything though,” she imparted, smiling at the memory. “You just
 finished zipping up your bag, quiet and unassuming as always.”
“So what happened?” Camila questioned. “I asked you,” she
confessed. “I asked you what you thought and you finally lifted
your eyes to look at me and you said that you agreed with Ally,
that love isn’t quiet and reserved, it’s bold and daring. You said
that love should make you fearless and that if you were in love
with someone you wouldn’t be afraid to show it. You said that
you’d want everyone to see.” “Then what happened?” Camila
asked when Lauren didn’t go on. “Then you got up, said goodbye
to Ally and told me that you hoped that everything would work
out alright,” Lauren chuckled. “Then you left and I watched you go
thinking nothing much of it.” Lauren stroked the scar above
Camila’s left eyebrow and sighed contentedly. “Everything did
work out eventually,” she said, a small smile on her lips. “It
worked out better than I could have ever imagined Camz.” She
paused for a moment and brushed a strand of hair out of Camila’s
eyes, her hand settling at the base of Camila’s neck and playing
with the long locks there soothingly. “When you wake up later I’ll
be here,” Lauren told her firmly. “I promise. I’m your prince
remember? The prince always wakes the sleeping princess with a
kiss, always.” “I could listen to you talk for hours,” Camila said
unthinkingly and Lauren smiled. “That’s funny,” Lauren
responded, “because Ifeel the same way about you.” Camila leant
forward and kissed Lauren, their lips merging together
effortlessly, their mouths moulding to one another’s seamlessly as
 though they were two adjacent pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Lauren
felt Camila’s tongue trace her bottom lip and she opened her
mouth, allowing it access to her own, deepening the kiss. Lauren’s
fingers tensed around the hair at the back of Camila’s neck and
the smaller girls’ unoccupied hand found its way to the side of
Lauren’s face, her fingertips caressing the skin there lightly. “I’ve
got something for you,” Lauren breathed when they’d parted and
she leant forward to retrieve her bag from the floor. “What is it?”
Camila asked as the taller girl delved in to her bag. “It’s a
present,” she said, pulling out a brilliantly wrapped parcel, a pink
piece of ribbon and bow completing it. “What for?” Camila asked,
resting her head against Lauren’s shoulder. “Just because I
wanted to get you something,” Lauren replied sliding the package
on to Camila’s lap. “Lauren you just got me tickets to see Demi,”
Camila reminded her. “You don’t need to get me anything else.”
“Actually,” Lauren laughed, “those were from Miss Lovato, not
me. I was just the delivering them to you.” “Can I open it now?”
Camila asked, her fingers tracing the smooth paper delicately.
“No. Not just yet.” Lauren told her. “You have to wait until
afterwards, when you’ve woken up again. You can open it then,
alright?” “Ok,” Camila replied as her mom came back in to the
room, followed by the nurse who was bearing a tray with the
things necessary to set up a cannula in the back of Camila’s hand.
Lauren took the present from Camila’s lap and put it back in her
bag for safe keeping before standing up from the bed and moving
out of the way. The nurse placed the cannula expertly in the back
of Camila’s right hand, telling the youngster that the porters
would be coming to collect her in about twenty minutes to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76741703129/trialsand-
tribulationschapter71 12/14 take her down to the procedure
room. “Any questions?” she asked and Camila shook her head.
“Oh no, wait,” she said quickly as the nurse turned to leave. “How
soon afterwards can I eat?” she asked and the nurse smiled at her
evidently amused. “Whenever you want to,” she answered before
leaving the room again with the now used tray. “Awesome,”
Camila commented, swinging her legs up on to the bed and
stretching them out, Lauren wandering over to squeeze on beside
her. “Do you want me to get you something for when you come
out?” Sinu asked, pulling over a chair and sitting beside them
both. “No,” Camila said, resting her head against Lauren’s
shoulder again, the greeneyed girl playing with the small fingers
of one hand mindlessly as she picked up her book from the
bedside table with the other. “I’ll see how Ifeel. I might be a little
nauseous from the anaesthetic.” “Ok,” Sinu said, removing her
own book from her bag and settling down to read it. Together
they all sat and waited, Lauren happily watching Camila as she
read, admiring the little nuances of her girlfriend’s face which
appeared at various times over the passing minutes. When the
porter’s finally arrived to take Camila down, twenty minutes later,
she climbed off the bed, kissing her softly on the lips. “I’ll see you
 soon.” She said and Camila reached a hand up to cup Lauren’s
cheek. “Wish me luck,” she requested, smiling brightly. “You
don’t’ need luck,” Lauren told her pointedly. “You’re quite
possibly one of the luckiest people that I’ve ever met.” “Wish me
it anyway,” Camila said and Lauren laughed. “Good luck,” she
acquiesced compliantly, kissing Camila again. “I’ll be back in a
minute,” Sinu said to Lauren as the porter’s started to move the
bed towards the door. She was going to accompany Camila to the
clinic room and wait with her until she was sedated. “See you on
the other side,” Camila said, waving at Lauren as her bed
disappeared through the door and the taller girl watched her
disappear down the corridor until she could see her no longer.
“Always,” Lauren said to the now empty room as she sat down in
Sinu’s vacated chair and picked up Camila’s book from the
bedside table. She opened it up, her eyes falling to a random page
and stumbling across a quote which had been underlined in
Camila’s borrowed library book by a thick black pen. “Nothing
before you counts,” he said. “And I can’t even imagine an after.”
“Pretty much,” Lauren mumbled to herself, smiling as she opened
the book at the first page and started reading, her body sliding
down in the chair to get comfortable. “Pretty much.”
Chapter 72
Ten minutes later, Sinu returned and informed Lauren that Camila
had gone under sedation without any problems. “They told her to
count backwards from ten once they’d flushed the anaesthetic
 through her line,” Sinu said chuckling as she pulled up another
chair so that she could sit beside Lauren. “She only made it to nine
before she drifted off to sleep.” “Seriously?” Lauren asked
amused. “Wow, what a lightweight.” She commented laughing.
“You know you didn’t have to come with her today.” Sinu said,
smiling at her daughter’s girlfriend appreciatively. “I know how
boring it can be waiting around in here. There’s not a lot to do.” “I
don’t mind,” Lauren responded truthfully, putting Camila’s book
back on to the bedside table. “I’d only sit around worrying at
home if I was there anyway. Besides,” she said meeting Sinu’s
gaze levelly. “Someone has to keep you company right?” Sinu
placed a hand on Lauren’s and squeezed it, grateful for her
kindness. “Can I ask you something?” Lauren questioned
tentatively, uncertain whether she was crossing some kind of line
by opening up this particular topic of conversation. “Of course,”
Sinu permitted. “You can ask me anything.” “What was Camz like
right back in the beginning?” Lauren asked her. “I mean, when she
first woke up…” “After the accident?” Sinu queried and Lauren
nodded. “Why do you ask?” “I just…she doesn’t remember and
I’ve always been curious.” Lauren told her honestly. “She’s
changed so much in the short time that I’ve known her but, I
imagine that she must have changed even more quickly back
then.” “You and Dinah haven’t spoken about it?” Sinu inquired
with a hint of surprise in her tone, imagining that Camila’s best
friend would have been Lauren’s next source of information after
her daughter. “Dinah doesn’t really like to talk about it and I don’t
want to push her to if it’s too hard.” Lauren explained. “Well,”
Sinu started thoughtfully. “She wasn’t my daughter, not back
then, not straight away.” She admitted. “It took months before I
started to really see anyone that even remotely resembled the
Camila that I knew and loved.” “Did she remember what had
happened to her?” Lauren probed inquisitively. “No. Not for a
long time.” Sinu answered. “The first week after she woke up
Camila didn’t do much at all,” Sinu shared with Lauren, a
contemplative look on her face. “She didn’t speak one single
word, she just used to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. The most
that she’d do is move her head from side to side and occasionally
she’d lift her right hand, but, not with any purpose. It was almost
like she was trying to figure out what it was.” “Did she recognise
you?” Lauren asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 2/14 “No, I don’t think so.” Sinu admitted
sadly. “She’d look at me and there was nothing there, no
recognition, no reaction, nothing. I’d speak to her and she’d gaze
at me blankly. I don’t know where she was back then but it wasn’t
here. It was somewhere else.” Sinu paused for a moment to think
back to those days, when she’d sat by Camila’s hospital bed for
hours at a time, her eldest daughter’s health her only concern. “It
was about ten days after she first woke up, when I was sitting by
her bed as I normally did just talking to her that she looked at me,
 a vacant expression on her face and she finally said something.”
Sinu divulged. “She said, ‘Mami?’ That was it, just that one word
and it was so quiet that I almost missed it.” “I bet you couldn’t
believe it,” Lauren commented, smiling at Sinu’s openness. “I
burst out in tears,” Sinu recalled, her eyes growing moist at the
memory. “It had been so long since I’d heard her voice and all the
doctors had warned us that she’d probably never be able to
communicate again. They told us that she’d more than likely have
irreversible brain damage and that she’d need full time care. Their
most optimistic guess was that she’d be confined to a wheelchair,
unable to do anything for herself. I remember when they’d first
told me. I thought that if that was the best outcome that we could
possibly hope for then I’d have preferred it if she’d died.” Sinu
met Lauren’s startled eyes earnestly. “I know that makes me
sound horrible but I wouldn’t have wanted that life for her. It
wouldn’t have been living. My girl, she was so full of energy, so
dynamic and vibrant. I don’t think that I could have watched her
reduced to nothing, to not even a shadow of her former self. I
think that would have been worse than not having her here at all,
to just watch her endure her fate in silence, never quite knowing
what she was thinking but always wondering.” “You didn’t give up
on her though,” Lauren noted compassionately, understanding
Sinu’s point of view. “No, they didn’t.” Sinu confessed. “I was at a
complete loss if I’m honest. I didn’t know what to do for her. I
didn’t think there was anything that I could do. Ifelt so useless.
 Her therapists are the reason that she is where she is today,” she
acknowledged. “They’re the reason that she came so far. They
never gave up on her, even when the doctors had written her off
they continued. Without them, Camila would be a different
person and I would be too. They guided me through Camila’s
recovery almost as much as they did her. They gave me purpose,
exercises to do with her; simple things which made me feel like I
was helping, even though I probably wasn’t. The first time her
physical therapists sat her up on the edge of the bed they let me
stay and watch. One of them was sitting behind her, the other in
front on a chair and they shared this pointed look with one
another. The therapist behind Camila, she smiled happily and she
lifted up her hands to show me that Camila was sitting actually
sitting by herself.” Sinu ran a hand through her hair, pausing
momentarily. “Camila only managed a few minutes before she
started to slump backwards again but I could tell by the look on
her therapist’s face that she’d done well. It wasn’t long until she
was able to sit out in an unsupported wheelchair on her own and
then one day, when she was off the ICU, I came in to see her and
found them in the middle of a treatment session. They had her
standing up next to the bed between them. She’d needed a lot of
help but she was on her feet and it was the first time that I’d been
able to hug her properly since the accident. I think they thought
that I was crazy.” Sinu laughed, recalling what had happened next.
“I hugged them both too, like we were old friends. I couldn’t help
myself. I was so appreciative of everything they’d done for Camila
and for me.” She continued. “They were the perfect combination
of assertive and patient, pushing Camila forward in her recovery
without being aggressive. I remember how invested they got in
her rehabilitation,” Sinu explained. “The money didn’t matter to
them, that’s not why they did it. You could see it in the
excitement they’d show at even the littlest things Camila did.
They were almost as bad as I was.” She laughed. “You should have
seen Camila’s speech therapists face when she came in one
morning and asked how she was doing, the normal silence that
usually followed her questions’ replaced with, ‘I’ve felt better.’”
“That’s so cool,” Lauren remarked in admiration. “Standing was
really the turning point for Camila though.” Sinu said. “After that
she came on in leaps and bounds. Her speech was improving
every single day and before I knew it she was able to get herself
out of bed and walk to the bathroom with the nurses.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 3/14 I remember, I was sitting in her room
with her one day, playing ‘Four in Row’ like her physical therapist
had encouraged me to and Camila kept dropping the discs. She
got frustrated and she knocked the game on to the floor angrily
with her right hand. That was the first time that she cried because
of what had happened to her.” She shared. “Up until that point it
was like she’d not realised what was going on or what she’d been
through, but, in that moment she realised and she cried.” Sinu
 wiped at her eyes which were tearing up at the memory of her
daughter’s anguish. “She asked why this had happened to her.
She wanted to know what she’d done wrong, why the driver
hadn’t stopped and I knew then that I’d get her back. It was the
first time she’d referred to the accident without prompting. She
was starting to remember the things that she was told and
although it was hurting her, I took it as a good sign because she
wasn’t vacant anymore, she wasn’t indifferent or
uncomprehending, she was responding appropriately to
something horrible which had happened to her. She had her mind
back again, her thoughts, her emotions. She wasn’t just a shell
anymore, she was a person again and I have never been more
grateful for anything in my entire life.” “A part of me wishes that
I’d known her back then,” Lauren confessed. “I wish I could see
just how far she’s come since that first day, but, I will only ever
know the half of it. I find her so inspiring.” She stated fondly. “She
has no idea how encouraging and uplifting her story is. How much
her journey motivates and moves me. She’s completely oblivious
to how in awe of her I am.” Sinu reached over and squeezed
Lauren’s hand gladly. “Thank you,” Sinu said, a tear escaping
unashamedly at Lauren’s generous words. “I’m so grateful for
everything that you’ve done for Camila.” She commended. “When
she first told me about the two of you dating, I was surprised.”
She admitted. “I wasn’t sure that it was a good idea, not because
of your gender but, because I didn’t think Camila was emotionally
 ready for a relationship, let alone one which would be judged
more harshly because it wasn’t deemed equal or right in the eyes
of some people. However, you are truly a blessing in my
daughter’s life. You’re a kind, considerate, intelligent, thoughtful
person, and the fact that you have stood by Camila through
everything, well, that makes you a part of my family and you will
continue to be a part of it for as long as my daughter wants you to
be.” “Really?” Lauren asked and Sinu squeezed her hand
supportively in answer. “Yes,” Sinu confirmed. “I just want Camila
to be happy and she is, despite everything that she’s been
through she is happy and a lot of that is because of you.” “She
makes me so happy,” Lauren said her gaze lowered, smiling
bashfully. “Then my advice to you is to hold on to that for as long
as you both can,” Sinu encouraged. “People who make you truly
happy are like rare gems and they should be treasured as such.” “I
know and I do treasure her,” Lauren reassured the older woman.
“I treasure every insignificant second that I get with your
daughter.” “Good,” Sinu responded happily, “because I know for a
fact that she treasures her time with you too.” “So,” Lauren said,
starting to feel a little selfconscious about the turn the
conversation was taking, “how long did they say the procedure
would take?” Lauren asked glancing up at the clock which was
ticking noisily from where it was fixed on the beige hospital wall.
“Half an hour depending on how many attempts it takes for them
to regulate her heartbeat,” Sinu informed her. “They’re going to
stop her heart right?” Lauren queried. “Yes,” Sinu confirmed, “just
for a second though. Just long enough so that it resets itself back
to its to a normal rhythm.” “How long has she been in there for?”
Lauren asked and Sinu looked up at the clock. “Twenty minutes.”
She sighed. “So hopefully she’ll be out soon then.” Lauren
commented and Sinu nodded her head. “Hopefully.” She
repeated. “Do you want something to drink?” Lauren questioned,
standing up from her chair and fishing around in her pocket for
some money. “I’m going to go and get a soda from the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 4/14 machine.” “No, I’m fine thank you.”
Sinu replied and Lauren smiled at her in acknowledgement before
disappearing in to the hallway in search of a vending machine.
Eventually she found one and she stopped in front of it, feeding in
her dollar bill and selecting a Cola which dropped to the bottom
of it noisily. She crouched down to pick it up and turned to make
her way back towards Camila’s room, pausing when she noticed a
woman wearing a white poloshirt standing alongside a male
patient who was struggling to walk along the corridor. Lauren
watched as they passed her, taking note of the large indentation
in the side of the man’s head from an injury he’d sustained, a
white dressing covering it. She observed the woman’s hands
supportively holding his waist, providing him with stability as his
legs moved wildly and uncontrollably underneath him, making
him appear as though he were drunk. “Excuse me,” the woman
 called, noticing Lauren watching them. “Do you mind bringing
over that chair?” she asked nodding at one on the brunette’s left.
“Sure,” Lauren said, picking it up and carrying it over to the
woman who guided the patient in to it safely. “Thanks,” she said
appreciatively. “This is the furthest that we’ve gotten and I think
Bill here deserves a bit of a rest before we start making our way
back to his room.” “No problem,” Lauren returned, her eyes
reading the words ‘physical therapist’ printed in blue on her shirt.
She smiled at both of them warmly before starting on her return
journey to Camila’s room, the praise the physical therapist was
giving her patient audible as she left. When she finally found it
again, after a very brief detour, Lauren entered and walked back
over to her chair, sitting back down beside Sinu who had picked
up her book again and was now reading quietly to herself. Lauren
opened her can of soda and took a large swig before retrieving
‘Eleanor & Park’ from where it still sat on the table, inwardly
cursing her decision to start reading it and making a mental note
to buy her own copy as soon as she could, already addicted to the
story. The two of them sat in easy silence, reading undisturbed for
a further twenty minutes until finally Camila was bought back to
the room on her bed, an oxygen mask over her face and a doctor
in tow. “Mrs Cabello?” He asked as the porters’ put the bed back
where it had originally been situated. “Yes,” Sinu said, putting
down her book and standing up. She looked between both the
doctor and her daughter, Lauren twisting around in her own seat
 to watch the exchange between the two adults interestedly. “I’m
pleased to tell you that everything went fine,” he said caringly, a
smile on his lips. “We managed to restore a normal sinus rhythm
to your daughters’ heart after three attempts and all her vitals are
looking good.” “Really?” Sinu asked, exhaling loudly in relief and
casting an eye in Camila’s direction. “So she’ll be alright?” “She
should be fine. I’ll get her back in for a review in a week just to
check that she hasn’t slipped back into atrial fibrillation but I’m
confident that she should stay in sinus rhythm without the need
for the use of any medication,” the doctor reassured her and
Lauren glanced back at her sleeping girlfriend, a wide grin on her
face at the news. “We’ll keep an eye on her for a couple of hours
here and then if everything stays as it is she can be discharged
home in to your care.” He paused for a moment to take a step
closer to Sinu before continuing. “Her chest will probably be sore
for a few days and the paddles might have irritated her skin so I’ll
write her a prescription for some painkillers and a dermatological
cream to help manage that.” He went on. “She’s been drifting in
and out of consciousness since we took her in to recovery for
monitoring and she might be a little groggy as she continues to
come round from the sedation so don’t be worried if she’s a little
confused or disorientated. It’ll pass soon enough. If its ok, I’ll need
to you to step outside for just a minute to sign some papers?” he
asked Sinu and she nodded her head, amenable to anything that
he needed her to do.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 5/14 “Sure,” Sinu told him, turning and
hovering over the bed for a moment to plant a soft kiss against
Camila’s forehead. “Lauren, I’m just going to be outside with the
doctor for a minute but then I need to called Camila’s dad and let
him know that everything went ok. Will you be alright for a
minute?” “Yeah I’ll be fine,” Lauren answered and Sinu, knowing
the words to be true followed the doctor out of the room, taking
her phone with her. Lauren, now alone with her girlfriend,
shuffled her chair closer to the bed and picked up Camila’s left
hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing the back of it tenderly, her
fingertips moving down after a moment and finding the familiar
scar along Camila’s forearm which she began to trace soothingly.
She saw Camila stir slightly at her touch and reached one of her
hands up to gently stroke her girlfriend’s brow. “Hey babe,”
Lauren said as Camila’s eyes fluttered open, her tone gentle and
comforting. “Lauren?” Camila questioned, her voice hoarse and
lethargic, her eyes closing again as she turned her head on the
pillow in her girlfriend’s direction. “Yeah Camz,” Lauren answered,
her hand caressing Camila’s forehead. Camila swallowed hard and
exhaled heavily, her tongue moving to moisten her lips as her
eyes remained closed. “Am I dead?” she asked sluggishly and
Lauren smiled at the question. “Afraid not,” she replied, her
fingertips tracing Camila’s scar. “Are you sure?” Camila breathed,
her eyelids flickering for a moment before partially opening to
 look at Lauren. “Ithink I died.” “You didn’t die,” Lauren reassured
her. “The doctor said that everything went great babe.” Camila
struggled to open her eyes again but looked at Lauren blearily,
flashing a dopey smile in her direction. “It did?” she questioned
and Lauren nodded, squeezing Camila’s left forearm in her hand
supportively. “Yeah, it did.” Lauren reiterated. “You’re going to be
fine.” “So I’m not dead?” Camila asked again, her eyelids dropping
down and covering her eyes sleepily. “No,” Lauren repeated.
“Then why am I looking at an angel?” Camila asked drowsily and
Lauren’s smile grew so wide she worried her cheeks would split.
“Don’t do that,” Lauren scolded Camila playfully. “Don’t be all
adorable. You know that it’s my weakness…” “Oh ok,” Camila
agreed easily, closing her eyes again. “You know,” she started a
few short seconds later, her voice relaxed and quiet. “I had a
really strange dream….” Camila continued, her voice trailing off
with her fatigue. “You did?” Lauren encouraged her. “Yeah,”
Camila exhaled dozily, her eyelids lifting only marginally. “I dreamt
that I was a dragon,” she said. “A dragon, huh?” Lauren queried
amused. “What kind of dragon?” “A big one,” Camila answered
simply, her eyes flitting closed again. “Camz?” Lauren pressed
when her girlfriend didn’t continue with her story. “Yeah,” Camila
said, her eyelids lifting slowly. “That was your whole dream?”
Lauren questioned and Camila smiled.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 6/14 “No,” Camila said, Lauren’s heart
 fluttering wildly in her chest at her girlfriend’s expression. “You
were in it too…” “Was I a dragon as well?” Lauren asked chuckling
gently. “No,” Camila mumbled. “Not a dragon….you
were…something else…like, a pegasus…” “A Pegasus?” Lauren
said. “You mean a flying horse…” “Mmhmm,” Camila moaned
fuzzily. “So what happened in this dream?” Lauren asked and
Camila attempted to roll on to her side but failed. She reached a
clumsy hand up to the oxygen mask over her face and pulled it
down; forcing her eyes open so that she could look at Lauren. “I
was injured…” Camila murmured, “and…trapped…down under
this mountain in a cave…I was…all alone in the dark…” she slurred,
her eyes drifting closed as she spoke. Lauren brushed Camila’s
cheek with the back of her knuckles lightly and her eyelids
trembled for a moment before opening again. “I couldn’t fly
underground.” Camila said almost inaudibly. “There
wasn’t…enough oxygen to breathe fire…I wasn’t a…dragon
there…” she sighed. “Then what were you?” Lauren asked,
enjoying Camila’s story. “I was…” Camila started weakly. “You
were what babe?” Lauren probed, Camila having begun to doze
off again. “A lizard…” Camila breathed. “Just a lizard…not a
magical dragon like I used to be…” Lauren frowned a little at
Camila’s words, her hand finding its way down to her upper arm
which she rubbed gently. “You found me…” she went on. “You
came and you…you saved me,” Camila continued after a
moment’s pause. “You healed me…because…you were magical
 too. You showed me the way out of the cave…back…” she said,
migrating towards sleep again. “Back where?” Lauren asked, her
hand now playing with Camila’s hair, her voice barely above a
whisper. “Back in to the light…” Camila finished. “You…helped me
become a dragon…again…” she exhaled languidly. Lauren
remained quiet, waiting for Camila to continue, to finish telling
her about her dream but she didn’t. “Did you fly again Camz?”
Lauren asked, seeing parallels in Camila’s dream to their
relationship and wondering whether her girlfriend had really
dreamt it or whether it was just her way of expressing how she
felt. Camila looked at Lauren through heavy eyes and smiled
blearily. “Yes.” Camila said simply. “I flew again. I soared
so…high…” she continued thoughtfully. “I could see the whole
world at my feet again…and…it was beautiful…” she stated,
pausing to inhale. “I was happy…I was me again…” “What
happened to me in this dream?” Lauren asked, leaning over the
side of the bed further, closing the distance between them.
“You?” Camila questioned and Lauren nodded, not aware that her
girlfriend couldn’t see the gesture, her eyes closed once more.
“Yeah,” Lauren vocalised when she realised her mistake.
“Well…you came with me…” she said, her right hand lifting up
awkwardly in search of Lauren’s. Lauren took hold of Camila’s
wandering hand and her girlfriend pulled it towards her so that it
rested against her chest. “We went and we saw the world
together.” Camila finished. “The dragon and the flying horse,”
 Lauren laughed softly. “What an odd pairing.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 7/14 She paused for a moment to consider
Sofi’s belief that she was a unicorn and smiled, wanting to share
the theory with her girlfriend. “Are you sure that I wasn’t a
unicorn Camz?” Lauren questioned. “Sofi thinks that I am you
know.” “A unicorn?” Camila said, considering the suggestion but
not really conscious of Lauren’s words, too sluggish to really
comprehend them. “I guess…yeah, I guess that you could have
been…” “That sounds like it was a good dream Camz,” Lauren
commented as Camila’s breathing became shallower with her
tiredness. “Yeah,” Camila agreed hazily. “Strange though…”
Lauren leant forward and closed the remaining distance between
the two of them, pressing her lips against Camila’s lightly, the
urge to kiss her girlfriend too much too resist. “A kiss for my
sleeping princess.” Lauren said, leaning back again and picking up
Camila’s oxygen mask which she put back over her girlfriend’s
mouth. “I’m awake,” Camila said and Lauren moved a strand of
hair out of the smaller girls face with her fingertips. “Barely,”
Lauren retorted and Camila made a concerted effort to open her
eyes fully but struggled and eventually gave up. Lauren stroked
Camila’s brow tenderly again and kissed her lightly on the
forehead. “Go back to sleep,” she instructed, but the directive fell
on deaf ears, Camila already sleeping deeply again. Lauren
continued to sit by Camila’s bed and watched in silence as her
girlfriend slept. One hand rested against Camila’s left forearm, the
fingertips tracing the thick scar that ran the length of it as the
other caressed the smaller girl’s brow relaxingly. Ten minutes
later, Lauren saw Camila stir again, her eyelids wavering for a few
seconds before they opened. Camila’s dark chocolate orbs met
with Lauren’s and she smiled again appearing groggy. “Hi,” Camila
said and Lauren leant forward so that her elbows were resting on
the bed beside her girlfriend’s body. “Hi,” Lauren returned as
Camila reached a hand up to her chest and made a face as though
she were in discomfort. “How are you feeling?” “My chest hurts,”
Camila answered closing her eyes again. “Is someone…is there
someone…sitting on it?” she asked lazily. “It feels
like…someone’s…sitting on it…is it Dinah?” “No one’s sitting on
you,” Lauren told her. “It’s just sore from where they shocked
your heart babe. It’ll probably hurt for a while but the doctor said
they’re going to give you something to help with that.” “Are you
sure it’s not Dinah?” Camila questioned and Lauren smiled.
“Whoever it is… they…they feel really heavy.” “Dinah isn’t here
Camz.” Lauren informed her gently. “She’s coming to see you
later.” “Is she…ok?” Camila asked blearily. “Dinah?” Lauren asked
and Camila nodded. “Yeah, she’s fine babe. She was just busy this
morning that’s all. She was babysitting her brothers and sisters
remember?” “She’s…good with kids,” Camila noted lethargically
and Lauren lifted her girlfriend’s left hand up to rest against the
side of her face. “She’ll make…a great mom.” “Yeah she will.”
 Lauren agreed because she’d seen Dinah interact with Sofi and
her siblings and knew that Camila was right. “I’m going…to be
Godmother…you know.” Camila said, opening her sleep laden
eyes and looking at Lauren unfocusedly. “I don’t doubt it,” Lauren
acknowledged. “She…told me.” Camila continued and Lauren
furrowed her brow.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 8/14 “You talk about things like that with
Dinah?” Lauren asked her surprised and Camila nodded. “She
said…she wants me to be…” Camila shared, her free hand
reaching up to rub at her eyes but ultimately just falling down to
sit by her head on the pillow without having accomplished its
mission. “Camz what are you talking about?” Lauren questioned
confused. “Dinah…” Camila responded sleepily. “You’re making it
sound like she’s pregnant now,” Lauren chuckled, brushing
Camila’s temple with her fingertips lightly. “She is.” Camila
responded automatically, sighing noisily. “No, Dinah isn’t
pregnant babe,” Lauren told her laughing for a moment at
Camila’s mistake. “Yeah, she is…she…told me…” Camila mumbled.
“Camz, I don’t think she is,” Lauren started to protest, her
girlfriend drifting back to sleep again, her soft snores audible
throughout the room. Lauren considered Camila’s words and
shook her head from side to side, unconvinced. There was no way
that Dinah was pregnant. She couldn’t be. They’d know if she
were. She’d be showing… “Holy shit,” Lauren muttered, picturing
 Dinah’s plumper face and realising that she’d been wearing a lot
more loose fitting tops at school recently. “Holy shit…” she said
again, recalling the day Camila had rushed off to meet her best
friend because she was upset. She remembered how Siope and
Dinah had hit a rough patch, how they’d been arguing a lot and
Dinah had thought that they might break up. Lauren thought back
to Sofi’s story about Dinah’s weird craving for sweetcorn and ice
cream, how she’d felt sick after eating at Jimmy’s and had hurried
off to the toilet. “No fucking way,” Lauren said, glancing down at
her sleeping girlfriend, desperate to wake her up properly again, a
million different questions running through her head. She leant
forward over the bed, tempted to rouse her but soon sat back in
her chair when she heard Sinu’s voice from behind her, Camila’s
mom returning from completing her errands. “How is she?” Sinu
asked, pausing by Camila’s bed and running her fingertips through
her daughter’s hair pacifyingly. “She’s ok,” Lauren answered as
Sinu descended into the chair beside her and edged it closer to
the bed. “Has she woken up yet?” Sinu asked and Lauren nodded.
“She’s been drifting in an out,” she answered. “She doesn’t seem
too confused.” She informed her. “She’s just sleepy.” “Well, that’s
something at least.” Sinu responded, using her knuckles to gently
caress Camila’s cheek. “Don’t get me wrong,” she continued,
studying her daughter closely. “She’s extremely cute when she’s
confused but it’s exhausting having to repeat everything to her
over and over again.” Lauren smiled at Sinu’s comment,
 remembering all the times Camila had regained consciousness
after a seizure, completely disorientated and unable to retain
even the simplest piece of information. “It is definitely
exhausting,” Lauren agreed laughing lightly to herself, her right
hand playing mindlessly with the fingers of Camila’s left as she
spoke. “She’s not in any pain?” Sinu questioned worriedly. “She
said that her chest hurts,” Lauren told her truthfully. “She thought
someone was sitting on it.” “The doctor said that’ll probably last a
couple of days at the very least.” Sinu remarked thoughtfully. “He
said she’ll more than likely be quite tired too. I wouldn’t be
surprised if she spends the next few days in bed recovering.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 9/14 Lauren and Sinu remained by Camila’s
bed for another fortyfive minutes, continuing to talk about trivial
things until, out of the corner of their eye they noticed her
rousing once more. Camila’s eyes opened easily this time and she
reached up her right hand to pull at the oxygen mask over her
face, tugging it down to sit by her neck as she turned her head to
look at her visitors. “I’m so hungry,” she said seriously, her voice
hoarse and raspy. “You’re always hungry,” Sinu laughed as Camila
tried to sit up in the bed unsuccessfully, her hand reaching up to
her chest as she grimaced at the pain in it. “Ugh, Camz…” Lauren
said, holding up the bed control in her hand and pressing the
button which lifted the head of it up into a sitting position. “Oh,
thanks.” Camila said appreciatively, smiling at overlooking that
 amenity. “How are you feeling?” Sinu asked her daughter and
Camila rubbed the centre of her chest with her knuckles firmly. “I
feel like someone drove a car over my chest,” Camila replied and
Sinu made an unimpressed face at her choice of comparison.
“What? You asked.” She said. “That’s what it feels like.” Camila
patted her chest gently with the palm of her hand. “Actually,” she
said, giving the question some more thought. “I feel like I have a
six hundred pound wrestler sitting on it…God,” she complained.
“Remind me why the hell I agreed to go through with this again.”
“You agreed to have it done because you knew that it was the
right thing to do.” Sinu reminded her and Camila groaned loudly,
dropping her head back against the pillow and closing her eyes.
“Ugh, when did I become so reasonable?” she asked, lifting her
head again and Lauren smiled at her amused. “I’ll see if the nurse
can get you something for the pain,” Sinu said, standing up and
kissing Camila on the forehead lovingly. “Can you see if they can
get me something for my stomach too?” Camila asked and Sinu
grinned broadly, pinching one of Camila’s cheeks between her
thumb and index finger. “Do you want me to get you some fries
from the cafeteria?” Sinu asked and Camila’s face lit up at the
offer. “Shall Itake that as a ‘yes’? “Yes, please,” Camila answered,
nodding her head. “Don’t forget the…” “Ketchup,” Sinu finished
for her. “I know mija,” she chuckled. “Lauren do you want
anything?” the older woman asked but Lauren shook her head,
holding up a hand in front of her. “No thanks.” She said. “Ok, I
won’t be long.” Sinu told them, turning towards the door.” “I love
you,” Camila said and Sinu glanced over her shoulder at her
daughter before leaving the room in search of some food. “You’re
perky,” Lauren noted once they were alone again. “Compared to
what?” Camila questioned, reaching for Lauren’s hand and lifting
it up on to her lap. “Compared to earlier,” Lauren returned.
“Earlier?” Camila asked. “You don’t remember what we talked
about?” Lauren queried and Camila appeared pensive for a
moment. “You mean me thinking that all this was a dream?” she
asked and Lauren sighed as Camila continued. “I guess you were
right. It really isn’t.” Lauren considered telling Camila that she’d
accidentally let Dinah’s secret slip in her hazy state but decided
against it, realising that she didn’t remember the conversation
and aware that her girlfriend would feel awful for betraying her
best friend’s
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 10/14 confidence. Dinah would have to tell
them all eventually, but, until then, it looked like she was going to
have to bite her tongue and suffer her unasked questions in
silence. “Yeah,” Lauren answered, glancing at their entwined
hands and playing with Camila’s fingers. “You’re dying to say I told
you so, aren’t you?” Camila asked and Lauren smiled, lifting her
eyes to meet her girlfriend’s chocolate ones. “No,” Lauren
answered truthfully. “I’m just relieved that I was right. Otherwise
who knows where I’d be now.” “Probably swooning over Clare at
 camp,” Camila teased and Lauren rolled her eyes, unable to
prevent her grin from growing wider. “Did you just say
‘swooning’?” she asked and Camila nodded her head. “That’s a
word,” she informed her defiantly. “I know,” Lauren chortled.
“Ijust never thought I’d hear you say it.” Camila lowered her gaze
to Lauren’s lips and the greeneyed girl tilted her head to the side
questioningly as she noticed. “Are you ok?” she asked and Camila
bit her bottom lip. “I was just wondering when I got my kiss,” she
answered and Lauren stood up to lean over the bed and plant a
delicate kiss against Camila’s lips. “Happy?” she asked and Camila
shrugged. “I guess,” she said, causing Lauren to shake her head
and kiss her again, this time more deeply, her lips lingering against
the soft flesh of Camila’s mouth until she felt her girlfriend smile
against her. “Better?” Lauren questioned sitting back down in her
chair. “Much,” Camila confirmed and Lauren reached beneath her
chair and picked up her bag, retrieving the gift she’d gotten her
girlfriend and offering it to her. “Now that we know you’re not
dreaming,” Lauren said as Camila took the present from her. “You
can open this.” “You know you didn’t have to get me anything,”
she told her, repeating her sentiment from earlier. “It’s nothing
much,” Lauren informed her, “just a token really.” Camila looked
at the present in her lap and started to unwrap it, her left fingers
struggling to grasp the delicate paper easily. “You can rip it,”
Lauren told her and Camila smiled before pulling off the paper
with her right hand, her left steadying it in her lap. “What is it?”
 Camila asked and Lauren stood up to perch herself on the bed
beside her girlfriend. “You have to open the box,” Lauren
prompted her, helping Camila to lift the lid. “It’s a flower,” Camila
said, lifting the light pink rose from the box. “Is it real?” she asked,
her left hand manipulating the petals but unable to determine
definitively one way or another because of the impaired sensation
in her hand. “No,” Lauren answered. “It’s a silk one.” She
admitted. “That way you can keep it with the rest of the things
you’ve collected from our time together.” “To remind me of the
hospital?” Camila questioned puzzled. “What?” Lauren asked
amused. “No, babe…to remind you of prom.” “Prom?” Camila
said, looking up to meet Lauren’s emerald eyes. “Yeah,” Lauren
said, holding her girlfriend’s gaze. She took the corsage from
Camila’s hand and slid it on to her small wrist in front of her
patient identity band. “Camila,” she said, using her girlfriend’s full
name for the first time in a long time. “Will you please go to prom
with me?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 11/14 Camila’s beamed brightly at the
question and she nodded her head happily. “Yes,” she said,
admiring the flower on her wrist before kissing Lauren deeply, her
hand curving around the back of the brunette’s neck. “Ok good,”
Lauren said as Camila relinquished her lips, “because I’ve already
bought the tickets.” Camila placed a hand on the side of Lauren’s
neck and dropped her gaze to the box again, noticing a piece of
 folded paper tucked in to the bottom of it. She removed it and
gave Lauren an inquiring look. “You’re not the only one in this
relationship that can write heartfelt letters and honest journal
entries and…and…cute declarations of love you know,” Lauren
said in answer to her unvoiced question. “You wrote me a list
though once?” Camila countered. “Remember?” “No, you wrote
that.” She replied shaking her head and referring to the list of
reasons that she liked her crush which Camila had scribed for her.
“Can I read it?” Camila asked hesitantly and Lauren shook her
head entertained by the question. “No,” she joked. “I’m just using
it as a decoration for the box. Of course you can read it.” Camila
unfolded the page in her hands and sunk into the bed behind her
as Lauren shuffled closer in to her side to read over her girlfriends’
shoulder. “Ok, so…I’ll admit that this is more difficult than I
thought it would be but, please be patient because I want to tell
you something and I’ve never really done this kind of thing before.
It’s you that has a talent when it comes to this Camz. You’re the
one that’s good with words, not me. You’re the one who is able to
so freely share all your intimate thoughts and feelings with me.
I’ve never been like that, not really. Not in the same way that you
have. I’m guarded, I know that. I know that I haven’t always been
very forthcoming with you before, that I’ve been reluctant to
open up to you because I didn’t think that you could deal with my
own thoughts and your own…they always seemed to trouble you
so much, your thoughts. I remember thinking that you were
probably the most reflective person that I’d ever met and it made
me wonder how your head didn’t explode with all those thoughts
flying around it, but then I realised; they never really stayed in
there long did they? You’d always get them out
somehow…whether it was in voice, or writing, or recorded
message, or an appropriately chosen song. You always shared
them with me and now it’s my turn for a change. You made me a
promise once; that you’d be here, that you’d be present and that
you wouldn’t give up or check out. You kept your word to me.
You’ve more than kept your word. I remember I made a promise
to you too. I promised that I’d be more honest with you, that I’d
be more open about how I’m feeling and I was to some extent,
but never as much as I could have been. I could have been
infinitely more exposed, more vulnerable, more candid and it
would still have paled in comparison to how much you are with
me. So, here it goes then. Ilove you. You know that though, don’t
you? I don’t really need to say it. I love you Camz and it’s so hard
to put in to words exactly why that is and what that means
because there isn’t really any one single reason or explanation I
can find to define it. There are a million different little reasons
why I do, and yet there’s absolutely no reason at all. None. In my
head it all seems makes sense but when it comes to writing it
down it doesn’t. It’s a paradox that I can’t quite seem to fathom
and perhaps I never will. Perhaps that’s the beauty of it though;
perhaps you don’t really need to know why or how it
 happened…just that it did. Perhaps it is enough to know that this
feeling exists.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/76896798103/trialsand-
tribulationschapter72 12/14 Perhaps it shouldn’t be questioned.
Perhaps you should just be grateful for it and cherish it for as long
as you have it. All I know is that something changed in me the day
that we met and there’s no going back now, because I don’t care
why it happened anymore, only that it did. You inspire something
in me Camila. No, you inspire me period. I am so in awe of you it is
unreal. You’ve been through so much and yet here you are… I
don’t really know what to say, there’s so much I want to tell you,
that I wish I could but, I’m not eloquent like you are. I can’t
translate my thoughts down on to paper with the ease that you
seem to be able to… This letter feels clumsy and awkward in
comparison to everything that you’ve ever given to me so forgive
me. I promise I’ll keep trying and maybe with time I’ll get
better…then again, maybe I won’t, but, I’ll keep trying anyway.
Anyway, thank you Camz…thank you for everything you’ve bought
in to my life; your laughter, your smile, your beauty. Thank you for
inspiring me, for giving me someone to admire, for making me
believe in fate and miracles and fairy tales and happy endings.
Thank you for your love. Thank you for sharing it with me, for
allowing me the joy that comes with experiencing it. That is by far,
the best gift that you have ever given me (and you’ve given me a
lot). I’m so proud of you and Ilove you. I’ll always love you. Always
 x” Camila lowered the letter when she’d finished reading it and
looked up at Lauren who was watching her expectantly, an
anxious expression on face. “What do you think?” Lauren asked
feeling insecure. “What do Ithink?” Camila questioned and Lauren
nodded almost imperceptibly, feeling more vulnerable than she
ever had done before. “I think that I love you,” Camila smiled and
Lauren let the breath that she’d been holding escape from her
lungs in one quick burst, a happy laugh escaping her lips. “You
don’t have to say it, you know?” Lauren said playfully, heartened
by Camila’s words. “Just…shut up,” Camila instructed, so Lauren
did, she stopped talking, partly because Camila had told her to
but, mostly because the smaller girl had leant forward and taken
Lauren’s lips in her own, not chastely, not delicately, but forcefully
and determinedly. Camila had seized Lauren’s mouth with hers
and the greeneyed girl had yielded almost instantly. She had
yielded and she would continue to do so, every, single, time. A/N:
Umm….such a long ass chapter….sorry…..I know, I know, it’s such
an effort to read it, lol. Just skim it if you want x
Chapter 73
Camila remained under close observation at the hospital for the
next few hours, the nurse regularly reviewing her vital signs for
any evidence of complications as a result of the cardioversion.
Eventually satisfied that she was stable and at no further risk of
developing any problems, the doctor allowed Camila to be
discharged home and into the care of her family, a followup
 appointment scheduled with him in a week’s time. After what
seemed like a lengthy wait for prescriptions to be filled and
release papers to be signed, Lauren drove Sinu and Camila back to
their house, her girlfriend grimacing the entire way home from
her position in the passenger seat, every bump that Lauren’s car
encountered on their journey causing the safety belt to rub
uncomfortably against her already tender chest. On arrival at
Camila’s, Lauren assisted her girlfriend out of the car and guided
her up the path to the house, Sinu walking on ahead of them both
to open the front door, her daughter’s things securely contained
in the small holdall she held in her right hand. Camila had been
advised by her doctor to ‘take it easy’ for the rest of the day whilst
she recovered and she chose to follow his recommendation fully,
opting to waste the remaining hours of the day lounging on the
living room sofa with both Lauren and Sofi, all three of them
tucked securely beneath the confines of her duvet, watching an
assortment of Disney movies and eating takeaway pizza. Dinah
stopped by to see Camila later that evening, joining the trio during
their viewing of Toy Story 3 and squeezing herself into an almost
nonexistent space beside Sofi with great difficulty. Finally
acknowledging that there really wasn’t enough room for them all
on the sofa, Dinah pulled the younger girl on to her lap instead,
tickling Sofi’s small body playfully as she did so, causing Camila’s
sister to squirm fiercely on the spot and giggle loudly in response
to the irritation. Lauren studied Dinah closely as she drew the
 smaller girl, who was still laughing happily, into a tight embrace,
Sofi’s back sinking against the older girl’s chest as they settled
down to watch the movie on the television in front of them.
Watching the two of them together, the way that Dinah rested
her chin contentedly against the top of Sofi’s head and
sporadically stroked the soft hair at her temple with her
fingertips, Lauren couldn’t help but agree wholeheartedly with
Camila’s earlier sentiment that the Polynesian girl would make a
great mom. However, unable to ask the burning question which
had been constantly on both her mind and the tip of her tongue
since her girlfriend’s postanaesthetic revelation earlier, Lauren
was left to silently wonder whether Dinah was truly pregnant or if
the whole disclosure had just been a false byproduct of Camila’s
drowsiness. Lauren continued to ponder that question for the rest
of the evening as they sat together; the group persisting with
their uninterrupted movie marathon until Sofi fell asleep, her
small body sprawled across all their laps on top of the duvet.
Camila’s dad came in to find his youngest daughter in this state
and promptly carried Sofi upstairs to the comfort of her own bed,
leaving the three older girls alone. Dinah however, took Sofi’s
departure from the group as a cue for her own and after saying
goodnight to both Lauren and Camila, left her two friends in order
to make her way back home. After Dinah had gone, Lauren
considered asking Camila about the possible secret that she’d
unknowingly let slip to her earlier at the hospital but, she decided
 against it when Camila yawned sleepily and stretched out on the
sofa, her feet occupying the space Dinah had just vacated and her
head resting in Lauren’s lap facing the television screen. Lauren
sighed to herself defeated, not wanting to ruin the tranquillity of
the moment by
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 2/12 upsetting Camila with the knowledge
that she’d potentially broken Dinah’s trust. Instead, Lauren began
to play with her girlfriend’s long, dark hair, her fingers entwining
with the soft strands mindlessly as they watched the last movie
on their watch list; WALLE. Camila had as always, inevitably fallen
asleep during the movie, her body finally succumbing to the toll
the procedure had taken on it, her soft snores a melodic music to
Lauren’s ears. The greeneyed girl was grateful for these little
moments of serenity she’d been granted recently, for the pure
and innocent pleasure that came with simply being in Camila’s
presence, neither of them demanding or needing anything of the
other except their company to be perfectly and completely
content. Lauren had grown to love these quiet, uncomplicated
instances that they so often shared, where Camila’s delicate form
was curled up against her side whilst she read or slept, seeking
nothing more from Lauren than the wholesome intimacy and
comfort that came with the most basic of physical contact. Lauren
usually took these opportunities to reflect on their good fortune,
on their countless blessings to date, appreciating each breath that
 Camila took as a gift from God and every second that she was
granted in her girlfriend’s life as an endowment she still wasn’t
entirely sure she deserved. Despite Camila’s hospital admission,
today had been another good day to add to the recently
increasing and thankfully, so far, undisrupted run of them. Camila
was healthy; they were together, and to Lauren, there was
nothing else that mattered more than that. Lauren remained in
thoughtful contemplation throughout the rest of the movie, her
thoughts fixed firmly on their journey together up until this point
and only returning to reality when WALLE came to an end and the
credits started to roll. Lauren glanced at her watch and noting the
time, shifted her position on the sofa in preparation to leave,
Camila stirring easily at the movement and turning over on to her
back. She looked up sleepily to meet Lauren’s piercing green eyes
through weary ones and the brunette leant forward and planted a
soft kiss on Camila’s lips, her fingertips caressing her girlfriend’s
furrowed brow and causing her eyelids to flutter closed for a brief
second. “Babe, it’s getting late,” Lauren told Camila sadly, her
voice quiet and her tone soft. “I should be heading home.” “No,
stay,” Camila protested blearily, her head shaking in
remonstration at the words as she yawned and turned over on to
her front. She buried her face against Lauren’s stomach, her arms
wrapping around her girlfriend’s legs in an attempt to prevent her
from leaving. “I can’t,” Lauren responded regretfully. “It’s almost
my curfew and my parents will kill me if I’m late.” Camila groaned
 defeated and released her hold on Lauren, rolling on to her back
once more, her eyes closed because she lacked the energy to
keep them open. Lauren traced the scar on Camila’s forehead
with her thumb and sighed audibly. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she
promised, kissing Camila on the lips again quickly, the brown eyed
girl nodding her head almost imperceptibly in acknowledgement,
too tired to object any further. Lauren carefully slid out from
beneath both her girlfriend and the duvet, her hand holding
Camila’s head aloft briefly until she could position a cushion under
it in her absence. She planted a chaste kiss against Camila’s
temple and the smaller girl rolled on to her side, nestling in to the
sofa further and almost immediately falling back to sleep again.
Lauren pulled the covers up to cover Camila’s torso and turned to
leave, stopping in surprise when she found Sinu watching her
from the door with a broad smile on her face, her shoulder
leaning solidly against the frame. “You’re leaving?” Sinu asked as
Lauren recovered her composure and quietly made her way
across the room towards her. “Yeah, I need to get home before
curfew,” Lauren answered, casting a quick look at Camila over her
shoulder as she reached the older woman. “How are you going to
get her upstairs?” she questioned lightly. “I’m not,” Sinu
answered laughing and standing up straight. “She looks
comfortable enough there and one night on the sofa isn’t going to
kill her.” “Will you tell her that I said goodbye?” Lauren requested.
“I have a feeling she won’t remember me leaving in the morning.”
 “Of course,” Sinu promised, stepping back out in to the hall,
Lauren following closely after her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 3/12 They made their way to the front door
and Sinu opened it ready for Lauren. “Thanks,” Lauren
acknowledged appreciatively. “No, thank you Lauren,” Sinu said
smiling. “I really enjoyed your company at the hospital today. It
was nice to be able to talk about Camila and everything that’s
happened with someone. I realised that I’ve never really done it
before…you know… discussed what it was like back then. It felt
good to finally be given the opportunity.” “Really?” Lauren asked.
“You weren’t mad that I asked you about it?” “No, not at all” Sinu
answered. “In fact, it made me realise that I probably need to talk
to someone properly about it.” She admitted. “I’ve been so
focused on making Camila address her feelings towards the
accident that I haven’t ever really stopped to consider my own.” “I
really liked hearing your perspective on everything.” Lauren told
her truthfully. “I mean, I’ve always been curious about the early
days of Camz’s recovery and somehow I feel like I know her a little
bit better now. I always forget about how much Camz had to go
through physically after the accident and I kind of admire the
people that helped her to get to where she is today, especially
after hearing what you had to say about them.” She confessed.
“Well, you’re more than welcome to come and talk to me any
time if you want,” Sinu informed her. “I’ll tell you anything that
 you want to know.” “You will?” Lauren asked and Sinu nodded.
“Sure,” she confirmed. “I kind of get the impression that you have
more than just a passing interest in Camila’s rehabilitation…”
Lauren looked caught out and lowered her gaze bashfully, feeling
selfconscious. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do
when I leave school,” Lauren admitted tentatively, lifting her gaze
again. “I always thought I wanted to be a writer, but, now I’m not
so sure…” “Are you thinking that you might want to be a
therapist?” Sinu questioned and Lauren shrugged uncertainly. “I
don’t know yet,” she confessed. “I’m just looking in to physical
therapy as a career option, that’s all.” “Does Camila know?” Sinu
asked her. “No,” Lauren answered lifting her gaze again. “I haven’t
told her yet because I’m just considering it.” She repeated. “I
don’t know, I just think it’d be an interesting job.” She continued.
“Seeing Camz’s journey has been so inspiring and I can’t help but
imagine how incredible it would be to spend my life helping other
people through similar ones. I suppose it must be kind of amazing
to know that you helped give someone their independence back
again, to know that you helped change their life for the better…”
“Well, if it in any way influences your decision” Sinu said, smiling
warmly. “I think that you’d find physical therapy a very rewarding
career. I seriously cannot thank all the therapists involved with
Camila’s recovery enough. I will always be grateful for their
patience and dedication. They helped give me my daughter back
again and that is truly one of the greatest gifts I have ever
 received.” Lauren smiled at Sinu’s words as the older woman
continued talking. “I think that you’d make a great therapist if
that’s what you decide to do Lauren,” Sinu commended. “You’ve
been so understanding and supportive with Camila through
everything. I’d definitely encourage you to look in to it further if
that’s what interests you.” “Thanks,” Lauren responded
appreciatively, smiling as she stepped through the door and out
on to the front step. “Ithink I will.” “Goodnight Lauren,” Sinu said
gently. “Night,” she replied, offering Sinu a small wave in
goodbye. “See you tomorrow?” She queried, already knowing the
answer to the question but asking it nonetheless.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 4/12 “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lauren
confirmed before making her way down the path to her car. The
next day and in fact, the entirety of the following week was
relatively uneventful for both Lauren and Camila, the latter
spending the majority of it recuperating at home, her chest still
sore from where she’d had the cardioversion but the palpitations
that she’d previously suffered from now no longer a problem.
Camila attended the scheduled followup appointment with her
physician the Saturday after the procedure and was pleased to
hear that he was happy with her response to the treatment so far.
He informed her that now that her heart rhythm had successfully
been restored to normal, the Digoxin that he’d prescribed for her
should be enough to prevent her from reverting back in to atrial
 fibrillation again in the immediate future, if at all. Buoyed by this
knowledge, Lauren and Camila fell back in to their blissful
existence once again and the two of them became, if possible,
even more inseparable than before, the two girls spending every
available opportunity together whenever Lauren wasn’t at school.
They’d pass the late spring evenings walking Jasper at the park
with Sofi, the younger girl making Lauren chase her until she could
no longer run and was forced to collapse in a heap on the grass,
her lungs heaving violently in her chest, her skin covered in sweat
from her exertion and Camila would watch amused from a nearby
bench as her sister jumped on top of her girlfriend, refusing to let
Lauren rest and catch her breath for even a minute. When they
weren’t exercising Jasper and arguably Lauren, the two of them
would spend their evenings with Ally, Dinah and Normani, the five
of them hanging out at one of their houses or packed tightly in to
a booth at Jimmy’s, everyone trying their best to beat Camila in
the hot wing challenge but failing miserably, the browneyed girl
remaining undisputable champion time and time again despite
the assorted challengers. Camila and Lauren enjoyed a vast array
of dates in their evening’s together too, dates spent at the batting
cages or the cinema, the fair or the petting zoo, dates spent doing
a whole host of entertaining activities at a variety of different
locations but none of them ever managing to surpass the joy that
they’d get when they were simply curled up together on Camila’s
bed, each other’s lips the only thing they needed to occupy their
 time, the cheapest and only form of entertainment they needed.
The two girls devoted every weekend that followed Camila’s visit
to the hospital to one another and each Saturday was wasted
away at the beach, the pair of them sitting lazily atop a blanket in
a secluded spot, the waves crashing gently against the shore
around them until the warm sand started to cool and the coastal
breeze began to pick up, day slowly edging closer towards night.
They prepared a picnic basket filled with their favourite snacks
and they sat together contently, filling countless hours just
talking, talking about the past and their childhood growing up,
talking about the present, the fast approaching summer and
impending trial. They’d talk about the future, about their hopes
and their dreams, planning vacations they’d likely never take and
creating imaginary bucket lists they’d probably only half
complete. When they weren’t talking they were reading, Camila
thoroughly engrossed in the most recent literary work she’d
acquired from the public library while Lauren lay on her stomach
beside her, studying determinedly from her textbooks in
preparation for finals. Camila’s new bill of health from the doctor
seemingly gave her the motivation she needed to try and improve
the function of her left hand as much as was humanly possible,
and despite her physical therapist having told her over six months
ago that it’s dexterity would unlikely progress any further than
what she’d already achieved because the nerve damage she’d
suffered was too significant, the smaller girl would spend hours
 practicing on her guitar or writing in her journal, eager to prove
them wrong. Lauren couldn’t identify the exact moment that
Camila’s attitude had changed, that she had made the final
transition from the selfloathing, easily frustrated, clinically
depressed girl that she’d first met to the happy, zealous and
strongminded one that existed now, but she didn’t think that it
was something which had happened overnight. Camila’s
transformation had taken time and lots of it. It wasn’t the result
of one singular event. It was a composite of everything that had
happened to her, the good and the bad. Gradually all those self-
doubts, all those insecurities about her abilities, all those feelings
of inadequacy that she’d felt, had been chipped away and instead
replaced with an optimism and a selfbelief that made Lauren’s
heart swell with both pleasure and pride. Camila was selfsufficient
and she very rarely made any excuses for her disabilities, instead
choosing to find alternative ways of completing tasks if she wasn’t
able to do them in the normal way. In fact, there was very little
that Camila couldn’t do for herself if she set her mind to it and
more often than not she’d be successful in her endeavours. The
only thing that Camila still struggled with from time to time was
her scars, both the ones she’d gotten as a result of the accident
and those which had been selfinflicted whilst she was away at
rehabilitation. Lauren knew that Camila felt ashamed of the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 5/12 small cuts which littered her left wrist
and that she was embarrassed at the lack of selfcontrol she’d had
back then, at her inability to deal with her emotions properly or in
a healthy way. She was a lot more accepting of her scars now and
she was able to see the positive connotations in them a lot more
easily than she had done before. They helped to remind her that
she was a survivor and a fighter, that she was strong and resilient;
that she was alive when she should be dead. Camila seldom
alluded to her scars at all now except under certain
circumstances, most of which involved the potential prospect of
them being on display in public or during other situations which
the browneyed girl found intimidating or stressful. When they
were together at the beach for example, Lauren often stripped
down to her denim shorts and bikini top, the Miami heat much
too sticky and intense for her to remain in her tshirt for too long.
Camila however, had always abstained from undressing, her top
remaining securely in place, the smaller girl feeling much too self-
conscious to remove it when there were so many roaming eyes
around her. Camila’s selfconfidence when it came to her scars and
her appearance was a constant work in progress, but, it was very
much in progress and Lauren knew that her girlfriend would
eventually work her way through those specific insecurities just as
she had done with everything else. Camila just needed a little
more time, a little more encouragement, a little more reassurance
and Lauren could help her with all three of those things. Lauren
would be lying if she said that she didn’t wake up every morning
 half expecting another storm to hit them, another trial to be put
in their path to test their resolve and their new found happiness
but, as yet, it hadn’t come. Instead, they lived what others might
consider to be a somewhat boring and ordinary existence, but
that was to them, after almost nine months of continuous
difficulties, nothing short of an idyllic paradise. Saturday evening,
three weeks after Camila’s cardioversion, Lauren was perched on
the edge of Normani’s bed, a small vanity mirror in her hand as
she finished applying a few final touches to her makeup in
preparation for prom. The rest of the girls were scattered messily
all around Normani’s bedroom, each of them in varying stages of
readiness; Ally standing in front of the full length mirror loosely
curling her hair, Normani sitting crosslegged on the floor,
rummaging through her jewellery box in search of a bracelet to
wear and Dinah carefully applying winged eyeliner on Camila, the
smaller girl’s coordination still too poor to be able to do it herself
without poking herself in the eye. “Mila, would you please stop
moving,” Dinah complained, almost ruining her friend’s makeup
because she was fidgeting nervously where she sat. “I’m sorry,”
Camila apologised sincerely. “I’m just worried that I’ll make you all
late. I mean, the guys will be here soon and I don’t want you to
have to wait around for me to finish getting ready…” “Don’t
apologise Camila,” Normani commented kindly, finally finding the
rhinestone bracelet she’d been looking for and slipping it over her
wrist, the accessory complimenting her black dress perfectly.
 “We’ll be ready when we’re ready. It’s not going to kill Troy and
Siope to wait for a little bit, right Ally?” “Definitely not,” Ally
agreed, studying her appearance in the mirror and turning off the
curling iron, satisfied with her reflection. She placed the device on
top of Normani’s dresser and turned to face Camila who was
watching her through one eye, the other closed as Dinah tried to
finish the task at hand. “You take your time Camila,” Ally
reassured her. “There’s no rush ok?” “I wish I could do something
to help,” Camila mused out loud and Dinah stopped what she was
doing for a moment, one hand holding her friend’s chin between
her thumb and fingers in an attempt to stop her moving her head
too much. “You could keep still,” Dinah suggested, only halfjoking.
“That would help.” “No, I mean, I wish that I could do this myself
or something.” Camila clarified. “That way you could finish getting
ready and then we’d both be done before the guys even got
here.” “Here Dinah,” Lauren said, dropping the mirror in her hand
into her purse and fastening it closed, having finished her own
makeup. “I’ll help Camz while you put your outfit on.” “Are you
sure?” Dinah questioned and Lauren placed her purse on the bed
at her side and stood up, making her way over towards her
girlfriend.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 6/12 “Yeah, I’m ready.” she responded, her
floorlength emerald green dress matching her eyes and making
them appear even more striking than they already were. “You’ve
 still got to get dressed yet.” “Ok great,” Dinah said, standing up
and handing Lauren the black eyeliner she’d been using. The
Polynesian moved over to Normani’s bedroom door and retrieved
her dress from where it’d been hanging on the back of it before
quickly disappearing in to the hallway and making her way to the
bathroom in order to get changed. “If you don’t sit still,” Lauren
started, her tone serious as she sat down in front of Camila in
Dinah’s vacated seat. “I’m going to draw a pair of glasses on you
with this.” She threatened playfully, holding up the eyeliner in her
hand pointedly. Camila opened the eye that she still had firmly
closed to look at Lauren and smiled brightly. “You wouldn’t dare,”
she responded and Lauren quirked an eyebrow challengingly.
“Wouldn’t I?” Lauren asked and Camila studied her closely,
debating the likelihood in her head. “Fine, I’ll behave,” Camila
promised believing Lauren’s threat to be real and closing her eye
again, sighing loudly as Lauren took hold of her chin with her free
hand just as Dinah had done. “Ally and I are ready too so we’re
going to go downstairs and sort out some stuff for the party while
you guys finish up,” Normani told Lauren, who’d started applying
a thin black line to Camila’s eyelid delicately. “I can’t believe that
your parents thought it’d be a good idea to leave you alone for
the weekend over prom,” Lauren said in disbelief. “Hey, it’s not
my fault they’ve gone to see my uncle in Texas.” Normani
responded shrugging. “They’re practically asking for me to throw
a party. I mean, I’m a teenager… what did they think I’d do?”
“They’ll kill you if they find out you know,” Lauren said. “No, they
won’t,” Normani disagreed waving her hand dismissively even
though Lauren couldn’t see the gesture while she was closely
watching what she was doing. Normani stood up and walked over
to stand beside Lauren. “My parents won’t care, it’s not like we
haven’t had barbecues and parties here before,” she continued. “I
mean, they’re letting you guys stay here with me unsupervised
aren’t they?” “Having four of your closest friends to stay is not the
same thing as agreeing to you throwing a party for almost a
hundred high school students.” Lauren laughed. “Oh, come on
Lo,” Normani scoffed. “It’s not going to be anywhere near that
many people. All the seniors are going to Paul Mathesons house
and Samantha is having a party too which means all the jocks and
the cheerleaders from our year will be there, not here,” she went
on. “There’ll be thirty people here at the most,” she told her. “It’s
your funeral,” Lauren commented and she couldn’t help but smile
at the frown that appeared on Camila’s face at her use of the
word, her open eye narrowing disapprovingly. “You know what I
mean,” Lauren said, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on
the tip of Camila’s nose lovingly. “Don’t pretend you aren’t
excited about tonight Lo,” Ally said, stepping up alongside
Normani. “You can try to play the mature adult here all you want,
but you’ve been looking forward to prom more than anyone else
in this room…” She noted, smiling at the other girl who was
watching the interaction out of one eye quietly. “For some
 inexplicable reason you’re extremely excited about it. I have a
theory that it has something to do with the fact that you’ll be
staying here without parental supervision again,” she said
thoughtfully. “It’s just a working theory though…” she added
smirking when she saw Lauren glare at her. “You’re telling me that
you and Troy won’t be taking advantage of a parent free house?”
Lauren questioned and Ally didn’t even try to deny it wasn’t true.
“Of course we will be.” She said simply. “It’s prom night. It’s
practically a rite of passage….”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 7/12 “It’s only junior prom,” Normani
reminded her laughing. “It isn’t really prom until next year.” “So
what?” Ally asked. “Junior prom, senior prom…what’s the
difference? They’re celebrated the same. Why else would you be
throwing this party otherwise Mani?” “She’s worried that Dinah’s
right about her becoming a crazy cat lady,” Camila said neutrally,
casting an eye at Normani who tilted her head, an amused
expression on her face at the smaller girl’s boldness. “Shut up, you
little idiot,” Normani said goodnaturedly as she hit Camila
playfully on the arm. Lauren quickly moved the eyeliner away
from Camila’s face as her body moved in response to the force of
Normani’s blow and she turned her piercing eyes up at her friend,
unimpressed that she’d almost ruined Camila’s makeup.
“Whoops,” Normani said, making an apologetic face. “Sorry.”
“We’ll be downstairs,” Ally chuckled, tugging on Normani’s arm
 and picking up both their purses from the bed as they made their
way to the door and disappeared through it. Lauren watched
them go and then returned her attention to Camila, finishing her
girlfriend’s winged eyeliner and reaching in to the makeup bag sat
on the floor at her feet to retrieve some mascara. She quickly
applied it to Camila’s lashes, her dark chocolate eyes staring up at
her longingly and causing Lauren to struggle to maintain her
focus. “There,” Lauren said, placing the mascara back in the make-
up bag and examining her handiwork, both hands coming to rest
on Camila’s shoulders. “You’re all set.” She told her, Dinah having
already helped Camila with her foundation, blusher, lipstick and
hair. “Thanks,” Camila said, leaning forward and kissing Lauren
quickly on the lips in gratitude. “Don’t ruin your lipstick babe,”
Lauren teased, removing her hands from Camila’s shoulders and
releasing the smaller girl so that she could stand up and wander
over to the mirror on Normani’s bedroom wall. Camila scrutinised
her reflection closely in the glass there, her face edging
progressively nearer so that she could get a better look at herself.
She seemed to consider her appearance for a moment before
reaching up a hand to trace the scar above her left eyebrow
pensively, evidently not happy about something from the frown
that crossed her features. “What’s wrong?” Lauren asked,
standing up and walking over to her. “Do you think that you can
cover this up?” Camila asked Lauren seriously, turning to face her
girlfriend. “You mean with makeup?” Lauren asked, her hand
 subconsciously lifting to touch Camila’s scar, her thumb moving
along the raised ridge lightly. “Yeah,” Camila replied. “Why?”
Lauren questioned, lowering her hand again, her eyes meeting
Camila’s with interest. “So that you can’t see it,” Camila said
simply. Lauren looked troubled by Camila’s words and toyed with
her girlfriend’s dark hair as it hung loosely over one shoulder.
“Why do you want to cover it?” Lauren asked her earnestly. “Well,
because its prom and I want to look nice for you,” Camila
answered. “You always look nice Camz,” Lauren told her
truthfully. “You’re beautiful…you don’t need to hide this from
anyone, especially not from me,” she said, gesturing to Camila’s
scar with the hand that had been playing with her girlfriend’s hair.
“I know what you’re thinking Lauren but you don’t need to worry
about me, I promise,” Camila said. “Are you sure?” Lauren asked
her. “I know how much you struggle with your scars Camz…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 8/12 “No, really I promise,” Camila started.
“I’m not ashamed of them anymore, not like I used to be.” she
reassured her. “You’re not?” Lauren queried. “No,” she told her.
“It’s just that today isn’t like any other day Lauren.” Camila
explained. “It’s our junior prom and I don’t know…I just, I never
thought that I’d live long enough to see it yet alone want to go to
it.” She divulged. “I never thought anyone would ever ask me to
go with them, especially not anyone that I’d been dating for nine
months leading up to it. I just thought that it’d be nice if I could
cover it up, just this once, just for one night, just so that you don’t
have to see it, so that when we look back on the pictures it won’t
be there…” “I’m not going to cover this up for you Camz,” Lauren
said definitively, her fingertips caressing the scar delicately again.
“You’re not,” Camila responded sadly, her voice quiet. “No, I’m
not.” Lauren reaffirmed meeting Camila’s gaze levelly. “I don’t
want to do it.” She told her. “I love your scars Camz and covering
them with makeup won’t make them any less real, it doesn’t
change the fact that they’re there. It’ll just be a temporary illusion
that’ll disappear the minute you wash your face. ” “Yeah, I know
that.” Camila acknowledged. “I just…I haven’t really seen many
people from school since I left and I don’t know…I want to prove
to them that I’m better now, that I’ve changed…I don’t want them
to see the same girl that lost her temper in the library and made a
scene in the cafeteria at lunch. I’m not her anymore…” “I know
you’re not Camz,” Lauren told her smiling. “The change in you is
so obvious. We can all see it. They’ll see it too. You don’t need to
cover your scar to prove it.” “Really?” Camila asked. “Really,”
Lauren said, stepping forward and pulling Camila in to a hug. “You
don’t need to worry about standing out because of it either,” she
added knowingly, kissing her on the cheek. “You’ll still be the
most beautiful person in the room tonight.” “What about pictures
though?” Camila questioned, ignoring Lauren’s compliment and
feeling anxious. “Don’t they go around taking some? They put
them in the yearbook…” “Yeah, they do,” Lauren agreed releasing
 her girlfriend to get a better look at her, “but you don’t need to
worry about that babe. Your smile is so distracting that no one will
even notice your scar, I promise.” She flattered. “Even if the
photographers catch you when you’re not smiling your eyes are
so captivating that people will have a hard time averting their own
anywhere else. You really don’t have anything to worry about.”
“You think I’m crazy,” Camila stated, smiling at Lauren’s words.
“Yes,” Lauren answered truthfully, kissing Camila lightly over the
scar in question. “I do.” “I’m sorry,” Camila apologised. “I guess
I’m more nervous about tonight then I realised.” “I’m sorry too.”
Lauren said. “You are?” Camila asked. “Yes, I am.” Lauren replied.
“I’m sorry that you still can’t see how beautiful you are even after
all the times that I’ve told you. What it’s going to take for you to
finally believe me?” Camila was saved the trouble of coming up
with an answer when Dinah reentered wearing a high necked,
loose fitting, royal blue dress which managed to conceal her small
baby bump from view whilst simultaneously showing off the other
curves of her body. “Aren’t you dressed yet?” Dinah asked Camila,
noting the denim jeans and sweater she wore as she stepped over
to the corner of the room and deposited her hoody and leggings
with the rest of the things. “I was waiting for you to finish in the
bathroom,” Camila answered, retrieving her dress from where it
was draped over the back of Normani’s chair and placing it over
one arm. “I won’t be a minute.” She said, casting a quick look at
them both before disappearing out the door.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 9/12 “Did I interrupt something?” Dinah
asked perching on the end of Normani’s bed as Lauren looked out
the door after Camila. “No,” she sighed, wandering over to sit
beside the other girl. “Not really. She’s just feeling a little nervous
about tonight. I guess I kind of forgot that she’s not been at school
since January. Ithink she’s feeling selfconscious about the way she
left…” “She’s been to school since then though,” Dinah said. “I
mean, she came to watch your games and she’d wait outside for
you with Jasper…” “Yeah, but it’s not the same.” Lauren
acknowledged. “No one really comes to our games and people are
so intent on getting home at the end of the day that they barely
even noticed her standing there.” “What’s she got to be nervous
about though?” Dinah asked. “She’s nowhere near the same girl
she was when she left.” “Ithink that’s the problem.” Lauren said.
“She thinks that people will still think she is.” “Oh, please.” Dinah
scoffed. “Not one person will be able to look at her and not see
how much she’s changed. Her whole manner is different now…” “I
know that and you know that” Lauren chuckled. “She doesn’t
though. You know she wanted me to cover up her scar?” she
asked rhetorically. “I think she thought that if there was an
obvious physical change that they could see then it would help…”
“You can’t cover it completely,” Dinah said. “We tried before,
remember? It was the night of the winter formal and we only
managed to make it less obvious. It’s too raised to conceal with
 just foundation. Besides, what the hell is she even talking about,”
she went on. “Mila looks the healthiest I’ve seen her in almost
twelve months. Remember how much we noticed the change in
her just in the short time that she was away at rehab? The change
physically was crazy. People who haven’t seen her in almost six
months will definitely see a difference tonight. She shouldn’t be
concerned about that. You want me to slap some sense in to
her?” she asked. “See this is why Ilike you so much,” Lauren
laughed. “Why?” Dinah asked smiling. “Well, because if there’s
anyone I can count on to understand my thoughts when it comes
to Camz, it’s you.” She told her. “I’ll pass on you giving her a
polybeatdown though. I don’t think that’s really going to help…”
“Yeah ok,” Dinah acknowledged. “If you change your mind though
you know where I am.” “Noted,” Lauren responded. “So I take it
that she doesn’t know about your plans for tonight then,” Dinah
said after a moment of comfortable silence had passed between
them. “I don’t think so,” Lauren answered. “Does this little bout of
insecurity on her part change anything?” she questioned
knowingly. “No,” Lauren replied resolutely. “I might change the
song but if anything it makes me want to do it even more.” “Do
you really think that drawing attention to her is the best thing if
she’s already feeling selfconscious?” Dinah pressed. “Probably
not,” Lauren realised, “but, I want to do something for her and
who the fuck knows, maybe a grand gesture will be just what she
needs. Maybe then she’ll finally start to realise that I’m not just
saying things to make her feel better, that I really do mean them.”
“This is either going to go one of two ways,” Dinah commented.
“She’ll either love it or she’ll run out the room feeling
humiliated…” “Well, let’s hope it’s not the latter.” Lauren said.
“Otherwise, I’ll probably be following after her feeling the same
way.” “In that case, I’ll pray for you Lauren,” Dinah joked and the
greeneyed girl hit her playfully on the arm. “Don’t…it’ll be fine,
alright?” Lauren said trying to sound more confident than she felt.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 10/12 “Whatever you say,” she returned
amused. “For the record though I think it’ll be really sweet,” Dinah
told her truthfully. “Thanks,” Lauren said grateful for the support.
“No problem,” Dinah said, kicking her feet back and forth
mindlessly in front of her. Lauren had the sudden urge to ask
Dinah about Camila’s revelation from the hospital, the Polynesian
girl still not having said anything regarding a pregnancy to the rest
of the group, but she changed her mind when Camila came back
in wearing her dress. Lauren stood up and smiled at her girlfriend,
her eyes roaming her figure appreciatively. “Wow,” Lauren said,
stepping over to her as Camila placed her jeans and jumper on top
of Normani’s vanity unit. “You look amazing babe.” Camila
glanced down to study her knee length, high necked, light pink
dress uncertainly. “Oh yeah,” Dinah said, sensing Camila’s
hesitation and standing up from the bed herself. “You’re totally
hot Mila.” She told her matter of factly before picking up her
purse and making her way to the door. Camila watched her leave
without explanation and turned to look at Lauren with a puzzled
expression on her face. “Siope is almost here,” Lauren lied easily.
“She’s going downstairs to wait with the others.” “Oh ok,” Camila
said, turning round and gesturing to the fastening at the back of
her dress. “Can you zip me up?” she asked and Lauren took a step
closer to Camila, her hand fingering the light material of her dress
just below her shoulder blades. She pulled the zip up to the top
and then slid her hands around Camila’s waist, pulling her in to a
hug and lowering her chin so that it rested in the crook of her
neck. She rocked Camila slightly on the spot, leaving a trail of
light, soft kisses along her jawline and the smaller girl arched her
neck back in response, exposing her throat even more, closing her
eyes as she did so. “Tonight is going to be fun,” Lauren told her,
kissing Camila’s shoulder gently and tightening her hold on her
girlfriend’s waist. “Just try to relax and enjoy it ok.” Camila
nodded her head and Lauren released her for a moment to
retrieve the corsage she’d bought her. “Here,” she said, slipping
the flower on to Camila’s wrist. “Now you’re ready.” Camila
smiled at the light pink rose and returned her gaze to Lauren
happily. “Shall we go?” she asked the greeneyed girl, holding out
her arm for Lauren to take. “Sure,” Lauren said hesitating for a
moment, “but Camz, don’t you want some shoes?” she asked and
Camila glanced down at her feet and laughed before scanning the
floor for her pumps. She quickly walked over and slid them on
 before returning to Lauren who was holding out her purse
meaningfully. “Right…yeah, I probably need that too,” Camila
chuckled, taking the item as Lauren shook her head amused. She
linked their arms together and kissed Camila on the lips, her
mouth lingering there pleasurably for a few minutes, Camila’s
moving fluidly against it, returning the gesture fervently. “Babe?”
Camila asked when they’d separated. “Yeah,” Lauren said
breathily, the corner of her mouth lifting up into an expectant
halfsmile. “Try not to get too drunk tonight, alright?” Camila said
meaningfully and Lauren’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “I
promise,” Lauren said, her grin growing wide at Camila’s
insinuation. “I’m staying away from anything Normani and Ally
offers me to drink.” “Good,” Camila commented, her smile bright.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79056791874/trialsand-
tribulationschapter73 11/12 “Let’s go make some memories,”
Lauren said, tugging on Camila’s arm and leading her through the
door and out on to the landing. “Some good memories?” Camila
asked and Lauren paused at the top of the stairs to face her
girlfriend. “The best,” Lauren agreed, kissing her once more
before guiding her down to the kitchen where the rest of the girls
were waiting for them. A/N: Ok, so first off apologies that this has
literally taken forever but for some inexplicable reason I thought I
could fit the whole of prom in to one chapter and let’s be real….I
couldn’t so I’ve ended up splitting it. Secondly….work has been
super busy as there are a lot of government visits and things going
 on so I haven’t had the time I’d like to update. Lastly, just, thank
you for your continued patience and your unwavering support of
the story. It really means a lot that you guys enjoy it so much. I’m
sorry if this chapter sucks but sometimes that happens when I
split the chapters. I’m hoping to have the next part of the chapter
up asap x
Chapter 74
Camila and Lauren found the three of them sat at the kitchen
counter talking animatedly to one another, their excitement for
the evening’s festivities and the fast approaching summer
vacation palpable in the energy of their conversation. “Are you
guys ready?” Normani asked hopefully as the pair of them crossed
the room and came to a stop opposite where they sat. Lauren
placed her hands down on top of the smooth granite counter and
leant her weight forward on to them whilst Camila slid on to the
last remaining stool and began to fiddle with her necklace
anxiously. “Mmhmm,” Lauren responded happily, casting a look in
Camila’s direction and smiling brightly. “Are the guys on their way
here?” she asked, her eyes roaming the kitchen counters which
were heavily laden with snacks and drinks for the party Normani
had planned. “Yeah, they’ll be about ten minutes,” Dinah
informed her. “Siope text me a few minutes ago and said that the
limousine had just arrived. He’s going to pick Troy up from his
house and then they’ll make their way here.” “Great,” Lauren
responded, reaching down and picking up Camila’s free hand in
 her own out of habit. Camila relinquished it to her happily and
dropped the one which had been nervously toying with her
jewellery. “Do you guys want something to drink before we go?”
Ally asked, offering Lauren a glass containing a cloudy, off white
liquid which looked suspiciously like wine. “No, I’m good,” Lauren
said, waving her nonoccupied hand in front of her. “Camila, do
you want some orange juice?” Normani asked, holding up a glass
of the smooth liquid. “Thanks,” Camila said gratefully as she
reached over and took the tumbler from Normani’s hand. “I’m so
thirsty.” “Wait Camz,” Lauren tried to warn her girlfriend
unsuccessfully, Camila having bought the glass to her lips and
taken a large swig of it before the first word had even left her lips.
“Jesus,” Camila spluttered, choking on the strong tasting liquid as
it hit the back of her throat. “What the hell is in that?” she asked
gasping, as she placed the glass back on to the counter in front of
her. “What were we literally just talking about five minutes ago?”
Lauren asked her girlfriend, shaking her head in disbelief at
Normani, astounded that she’d be so underhanded when it came
to tricking Camila. “You should have known not to take any drinks
from Ally or Normani.” “Wait, it’s spiked?” Camila said, still trying
to catch her breath as Lauren rubbed her back soothingly with her
hand. http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trials-
andtribulationschapter74 2/11 Lauren picked up the glass from
the counter where Camila had discarded it and took a small sip,
giving Normani a pointed look when she tasted the vodka in it.
“Vodka Mani? Seriously?” Lauren asked bemused, sliding the glass
back over to her friend. “You know that Camz doesn’t drink,” she
went on, her tone stern. “What if it had interacted badly with her
medication?” “Ok, I’m sorry alright?” she apologised, taking the
glass back from Lauren and having another sip herself. “I just
thought it would be interesting to see Camila get drunk that’s all,
but you’re right, I wasn’t thinking.” “Didn’t we talk about this a
few weeks ago?” Lauren questioned her. “Maybe,” Normani
acknowledged reluctantly. “I’m pretty sure we all agreed that
getting Camila drunk was not a good idea.” Lauren said. “I
definitely agreed that,” Dinah said, taking a sip of her own drink.
“I was worried she’d make out with a stranger while she was
intoxicated and leave me footing a return trip for five people to
Hawaii.” “I was more concerned that she’d end up knocking
herself out.” Ally recalled. “If I remember correctly you had a
massive black eye that day, right Camila?” “Probably,” Camila
returned, not recalling the conversation they were referring to
but astute enough to realise that she often ended up with a black
eye after a seizure. “I can’t believe that you’d do that to me.” She
aimed at Normani, her face taking on a sour appearance at the
taste of alcohol which still remained in her mouth. “I’m sorry,”
Normani apologised again as Camila swallowed hard and reached
over for Dinah’s glass of water, her hand hesitating for the
briefest of moments just in front of it, as though she actually
believed that it might contain something else that she wouldn’t
be expecting. “It’s just water.” Dinah told her laughing. “I promise
you.” Camila raised an eyebrow distrustfully but shot Dinah a
subtle, yet meaningful look which didn’t go unnoticed by Lauren,
who was watching the exchange interestedly. “Really?” Camila
asked, making a point of not trusting Dinah for the other girls’
benefit. “You’re sure it’s not more vodka or something?” “What?
You don’t believe me?” Dinah asked incredulously as Camila took
hold of the glass and lifted it up towards her mouth. She held it
just beneath her nose and sniffed at the liquid doubtfully. “Well,
no,” Camila said still feigning indecision, “Of course I don’t. I
mean, I still vividly remember the time that you put cinnamon in
my lemonade and I almost choked to death.” “Oh yeah,” Dinah
said chuckling to herself at the memory. “I’d forgotten about that.
Remember that time that I made you drink watered down
washing up liquid by pretending that it was Mountain Dew?”
Camila frowned at Dinah’s reminder and put the glass back on to
the kitchen counter. She wasn’t willing to risk another assault on
her oesophagus despite knowing for a fact that Dinah was telling
her the truth, and that all the glass contained was water. Instead
she stood up from her stool and traipsed over to the sink,
removing a clean cup from the drainer and filling it from the cold
tap, the other girls watching her from their positions looking
entertained at her behaviour. She took a sip of the cool liquid and
turned around to face her audience, a wide grin spreading across
her face as her eyes met theirs. “You know, it really was just water
Mila,” Dinah told her. “Maybe,” she conceded, “but you can never
be too careful round here,” Camila commented, smacking her lips
together noisily in satisfaction when she’d emptied the contents
of her glass fully. “At least this way I know that you haven’t
tampered with it.” Camila rinsed the glass and placed it back in
the drainer before returning to her previous position on the
kitchen stool opposite Normani. “You have serious trust issues
Camila,” Ally laughed, finishing her own drink.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 3/11 “Yeah, but I grew up with Dinah so can
you really blame me?” She responded, reaching her hand for
Lauren’s again, missing the contact. “If you didn’t sleep with one
eye open she’d doodle all over your face in permanent marker or
shave off part of your eyebrow.” “You’re joking right?” Ally asked
chortling at the image. “I wish,” Camila replied. “Ahh, the good
old days,” Dinah sighed wistfully, staring in to space as though
reminiscing. Camila hit her firmly on the shoulder with her free
hand and Dinah looked like she was about to strike her back in
retaliation but suddenly decided not to at the last minute. “You
know what,” she started, winking at Camila. “I’m going to let that
slide this time because I still have photographic evidence of the
outcome of both of those pranks.” She threatened playfully.
“What?” Normani said, chuckling as she pictured Camila as a
human doodle. “Dinah, you’re going to show us them right?” she
asked the Polynesian girl. “Well, duh.” Dinah laughed. “Of course I
 am. Just, I don’t have them on me.” Camila pouted at Dinah and
the taller girl averted her gaze quickly, eager not to be so easily
manipulated. “Damn it Mila!” she complained. “Don’t do that.
You’re killing me.” She groaned, placing her hand over her eyes.
“Ugh, fine.” Camila said, making her face neutral again when
Dinah still hadn’t uncovered them two minutes later. “Do
whatever you want.” Dinah looked at her friend suspiciously but
Camila just met her gaze levelly, not saying a word. “You know
what Normani,” Dinah said, her eyes never leaving Camila, whose
eyebrow had lifted significantly in a gesture that told the
Polynesian she had just as much embarrassing and potentially
blackmail worthy material on her. “I’ll leave them to you in my
will.” “I hate you two,” Normani moaned. “You always start telling
us these hilarious stories and then stop before we get any of the
details. Now you tell me there is a photograph somewhere of
Camila missing part of her eyebrow and I’m never going to see
it…how is that fair?” “It isn’t but you’re going to have to suck it
up,” Dinah said. “Mila has a picture of me with a particularly bad
haircut that I’d rather you guys didn’t get to see. Plus, she has
video footage of me jumping in to what I assumed was a shallow
puddle but turned out not to be…” she said, her voice trailing off
slightly. “I ended up falling in to it and almost drowning so…she
wins this round.” “You really are a sneaky little lesbian.” Normani
teased Camila playfully, shaking her head. “I know,” Camila
responded wiggling her eyebrows. “It’s great isn’t it?” The girls sat
 in the kitchen for the next fifteen minutes until Troy and Siope
arrived talking, the five of them passing the time by gently
mocking one another and discussing their plans for the upcoming
summer vacation. When the doorbell rang, they all went to
answer it, finding Dinah and Ally’s boyfriends standing on the
front step, both of them dressed in black tuxedos which they’d
rented for the occasion. The group spent the next ten minutes
taking pictures on the lawn outside Normani’s house, the
limousine driver taking the role of photographer for them in the
absence of any parents, Camila’s earlier reservations about being
captured on film disappearing with the knowledge that these
would never make it anywhere near the school yearbook. They
made sure that they posed for the obligatory formal shots, each
of them with a broad grin on their face, the couples stood
together; Siope and Troy with their arms around their girlfriend’s
waists, Lauren with hers wrapped around Camila. Normani stood
happily on her own between them, one arm behind Troy’s back
and the other Lauren’s. Once these had been taken, the small
group posed for some more lighthearted photographs; they mixed
up the couples, made funny faces at one another, pretended to
fight and acted out a whole host of other more elaborate
scenarios which were soon captured for their own entertainment
on film.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 4/11 Eventually, they left Normani’s house,
 all seven of them huddled in the black stretch limousine as it
made its way towards Parrot Jungle Island and the banquet hall
where prom was being held. “That is my favourite picture,”
Camila said, glancing over Normani’s shoulder as she slowly
flicked through the photographs they’d just taken on her digital
camera. “Which one?” Lauren asked, leaning across her girlfriend
to get a better look at the small screen and the image that was
displayed there. “This one,” Normani responded laughing as she
held out the camera so that Lauren could see it better. “Your
favourite picture is the one where you look like you’re kissing
Normani?” Lauren asked Camila, rolling her eyes as she lifted her
gaze to her girlfriend. “Yeah,” Camila replied. “Why do you have a
problem with that?” “A little,” Lauren chuckled. “You don’t think
we look cute together?” Camila asked as she leant her head closer
to Normani on her opposite side and grinned widely for emphasis.
“Here, let me see that,” Dinah said, reaching across and taking the
camera from Lauren’s hands to look at the photograph. “Oh yeah,
you are kind of adorable,” Ally commented, craning her neck a
little from her position beside Dinah in order to get a glimpse of
the image for herself. “No we aren’t,” Normani said derisively.
“Yes we are,” Camila disagreed argumentatively. “I mean, look at
this picture.” She said, taking the offered camera back from Dinah
and holding it out in front of Normani. “You clearly love me.” “No
I don’t,” Normani laughed. “Then why did you ask me to prom?”
Camila questioned seriously. “I didn’t.” she answered, looking
 worried at the smaller girl’s words. “Yes you did,” Camila said,
looking confused. “You even bought me this corsage.” She told
her, lifting up her wrist and showing her it. “Uh, I didn’t get you
that.” Normani said, throwing a concerned look at the others.
“Lauren did.” “What? No she didn’t.” Camila responded, turning
her attention to Lauren for a brief moment but not meeting her
eyes. “You bought it for me. I remember…you gave it to me when
I was in the hospital…” “No, that was Lauren.” Normani told her
firmly. “That wasn’t me.” “Why would Lauren do that?” Camila
asked seemingly baffled. “She’s dating Clare…” “Umm…Camz,”
Lauren said as Normani responded with a resounding, “No, she
isn’t.” “Mila, you’re dating Lauren,” Dinah said furrowing her
brow as she leant forward slightly in her seat. “No,” Camila
disagreed. “I’m dating Normani….” “What? No, you’re not,”
Normani protested quickly. “Babe, don’t say that,” Camila said,
placing a hand on Normani’s knee looking wounded. “Camila
we’re not dating,” Normani told her firmly. “Of course we are,”
Camila countered. “We have been for months now…I don’t…I
don’t understand why you’d say that we weren’t…” “Camila,
we’re not girlfriends.” Normani said simply. “I’m not gay.” “Yes,
you are.” Camila responded looking hurt. “Camz,” Lauren said,
placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder, a worried expression on her
face. “Are you feeling alright?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 5/11 “No,” Camila answered sadly meeting
 Lauren’s gaze. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Why would
you say something like that?” she asked Normani, returning her
attention to her again. “You told me you loved me…” “That wasn’t
me,” Normani said as kindly as she could. “We’re not dating…”
she repeated. “You’re dating,” she continued, pointing between
Camila and Lauren. “What?” Camila questioned, glancing at
Lauren whose hand remained on her shoulder. “No…she’s with
Clare…you’re my girlfriend….you are…I…Ilove you…not her…”
“Camz,” Lauren said anxiously, trying to get her girlfriend’s
attention again. “No,” Camila cut her off, her eyes still fixed on
Normani. “Why are you lying…” “I’m not,” Normani said, “you’re
confused Camila. You…I’m not your girlfriend…tell her Lauren.”
She pleaded. “Camz, we’re dating.” Lauren said her tone soft and
reassuring but her mind a mix of emotions. “I promise, Ijust…your
memory…Ithink maybe you’ve forgotten…” “I haven’t,” Camila
said quietly. “I’m not confused, I’m not…” “Ok, how much vodka
did you put in that drink?” Ally asked Normani, looking at her
friend questioningly. “I’m not drunk,” Camila said defensively as
Normani answered Ally’s question. “There was a lot in it but she
only had one sip,” Normani protested. “There’s no way she’s
drunk…” “Do you think it’s messed with one of her medications?”
Dinah questioned. Normani glanced at Lauren fearfully. “Lo?”
Normani asked nervously. “What do you think?” “I’m not crazy,”
Camila interjected. “We’re dating…you even bought me a dog. I’m
not making that up…” “Babe, listen…” Lauren said as soothingly as
 possible, rubbing Camila’s shoulder until she looked at her. “I
know this probably seems a bit weird but trust me, you’re not
dating Normani. You’re dating me…” “Lauren,” Camila began to
object, but she was stopped short by the other girl’s lips on her
own. Almost instantly Camila pushed Lauren off, the back of her
hand shooting up to cover her own protectively. “What are you
doing?” she asked appearing stunned. “I was….” Lauren started
but Camila didn’t let her finish. “Don’t kiss me,” she said harshly
before turning to Normani again. “Tell her not to kiss me…”
“Camila we’re not dating,” Normani sighed, feeling extremely
guilty for what was happening. “Fine!” Camila said, her tone rising
in anger, evidently frustrated. “Ok then, so who are you dating if
it’s not me?” she asked bitterly. “I’m not dating anyone!” Normani
answered . “I’m single…” “Well, how long have you been single?”
Camila asked her. “Did we just break up?” “No, I’ve been single
for a while now,” Normani told her, placing a hand on top of
Camila’s comfortingly but removing it hastily when she saw the
other girls’ gaze drop to it and a small smile appear on her face.
“We were never together…we’ve never been together…never…”
“Really?” Camila asked her dubiously. “Really,” Normani sighed.
“I’m sorry…I know it might be difficult for you to understand but I
promise, we’re not a couple…” “Are you sure about that?” Camila
asked, leaning forward and swiftly kissing Normani on the lips, her
hands holding the other girls face still whilst their mouths
connected.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 6/11 “Camila!” Normani complained when
the smaller girl relinquished her mouth, her eyes watching her
imploringly. “Jesus! Lauren that wasn’t me…you saw that right?”
she asked her friend who was looking daggers at her. “What the
fuck Normani?” Lauren questioned. “You could have at least tried
to push her away…” “She took me by surprise alright,” Normani
moaned. “I didn’t have time to react.” “Of course you did!”
Lauren said. “Geez….” “Look Camila,” Normani said pointedly,
returning her attention to the smaller girl who was studying her
with a look of adoration on her face. Camila leant forward to try
and kiss Normani chastely on the lips again but the other girl
whipped her head back quickly, her hand pushing solidly against
Camila’s chest to keep her at bay. “No! Stop it ok? We’re not
dating.” She told her resolutely. “You can’t kiss me alright?” “Ilove
you though…” Camila said miserably. “No! No, you don’t, ok? You
love Lauren…you’re sickeningly in love with her…it actually makes
me want to puke…you’re so godamn happy all the time and
you’re meant to be together.” Camila looked at Lauren and then
back at Normani. “Really?” she asked perplexed. “I love Lauren?”
she questioned turning to look at the greeneyed girl in question as
Normani nodded her head. “Yes, you do.” Normani told her.
“We’re together?” Camila asked Lauren. “Yeah, babe.” She said
softly, reaching up a hand to sit on the side of her cheek and
nodding her head, “we are.” “So, you really are single?” Camila
 directed towards Normani again. “Yes,” Normani confirmed. “I
am.” “Really?” she asked. “Yes.” Normani reiterated. “Really.”
“You’ve been single for a while?” Camila probed. “Yes, for a long
time now.” She shared unhappily. “Knowing my luck I’ll probably
die alone.” “What about your cats?” Camila asked her, one corner
of her mouth turning up in to a smile. “Won’t they keep you
company?” “What?” Normani questioned feeling lost. “Your cats,”
Camila said again her face lighting up mischievously. “You’re going
to be a crazy cat lady right? Isn’t that what we all agreed?” “Oh
my fucking God,” Normani said, finally realising that Camila had
been messing with her the whole time. “Are you fucking kidding
me?” she asked and Camila chuckled loudly in amusement as
Normani shoved her hard on the arm and knocked her in to
Lauren’s side. “You were just playing with me? Jesus Christ
Camila! I was actually really worried about you!” “Oh God, that
was so easy,” Camila laughed, sitting herself back up again. “Not
to mention fun…” she tittered. “You’re unbelievable,” Lauren told
her, pushing her gently on the shoulder, a large grin appearing on
her face despite herself. “Shit Camz, I was almost ready to
redirect us to the hospital…were you trying to kill me?” “I’m sorry
babe,” Camila apologised to Lauren, leaning over and resting her
head against the brunette’s shoulder for an instant. “I didn’t mean
to scare you but you should have seen your faces,” she chortled,
hitting her knee in amusement. “They were priceless. God, I wish
I’d recorded that.” “That’s brilliant,” Ally commented, highly
 entertained by the whole thing and giggling.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 7/11 “Why would you do that to me?”
Normani asked. “God, you almost gave me a fucking heart
attack….Ithought that drink I’d given you had caused your brain to
short circuit or something!” She paused for a moment to put her
hand to her chest and sucked in a lungful of air which she exhaled
loudly. “Fucking hell,” she went on after a moment still trying to
get her head around what had happened. “I thought you were
about to have godamn seizure. You scared the shit out of me!” “It
serves you right for trying to trick me earlier!” Camila told her still
chuckling lightly to herself. “I’m not a complete pushover you
know.” She informed them. “If you’re going to mess with me then
I’m going to mess with you too.” “I have to give you props for that
prank Mila,” Dinah said impressed. “You even had me convinced
that you were losing it.” She paused for a moment to look at
Normani who was staring at Camila bewildered. “She got you
good Normani,” Dinah chuckled lightly. “You can’t deny it. She’s
clearly better at this then you are…” “Of course I am,” Camila
responded. “I learnt from the best didn’t I?” she asked winking at
Dinah. “I mean you didn’t even try to hide the alcohol in that drink
from Mila,” Dinah continued. “You literally put so much in it that
there was no way she could miss it. If you’d wanted to get her
drunk you should have at least tried to mask it better. Let’s be
honest here,” she said plaintively. “You failed.” “Ugh, I hate you,”
 Normani complained goodnaturedly, folding her arms across her
chest and pouting in defeat. “Umm babe?” Lauren started; her
voice stern. “Can we please talk about the fact that you just kissed
Normani?” she finished, lifting one eyebrow significantly, a
serious expression on her face. “Don’t be mad at me,” Camila said
sweetly, leaning in to Lauren’s side and kissing her on the cheek.
“Normani is a rubbish kisser compared to you.” She informed her
jovially, her arms reaching up and wrapping themselves around
Lauren’s neck. “I mean, it didn’t give me butterflies or anything,
not the way that your kisses do.” She told her. “It’s almost like she
wasn’t even trying to be honest.” She finished and Lauren’s
façade broke, a wide grin spreading across her face. “No wonder
she’s single then,” Lauren teased and Camila smiled, bringing her
lips against Lauren’s fervently. She felt Lauren smile against her
mouth and traced her tongue along her girlfriend’s bottom lip
probingly looking for an opening. When Lauren parted her lips,
Camila wasted no time in deepening the kiss, sliding her tongue
into her girlfriend’s mouth eagerly. “Mmmm,” Lauren moaned as
Camila’s tongue tousled with her own, one hand grasping on to
the hair at the back of her neck. Lauren moved her hands down to
rest on Camila’s hip bones and the smaller girl leant her body
closer into the greeneyed girls, pressing her weight against her
torso as though she were trying melt into her. “Guys,” Ally said,
clearing her throat and causing Camila and Lauren to separate for
a moment to glance in her direction. “The back of a limo is
 definitely the perfect place for this kind of thing,” she said,
gesturing to them with her hand, “but could you at least wait until
you’re alone in it first, you’re making Normani uncomfortable.”
Camila turned her head to look at Normani who had shuffled
along the seat a little to move away from the couple. “What’s
wrong?” Camila asked smirking at her friend. “You want to join
in?” “Have I mentioned that I hate you?” Normani asked shaking
her head and ignoring the question. “Yeah, Ithink so.” Camila
replied.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 8/11 “If Normani doesn’t join you then Ally
probably will.” Troy clowned from where he was sat and Ally
smacked him hard on the arm. “Ow,” he complained. “Ally’s such
a pervert,” Camila stated laughing. “How do you put up with her?”
Troy smiled down at his girlfriend and kissed her on the lips
delicately before answering. “Well, she’s a pervert,” he answered
simply, winking. “That’s how…” “Eww…ok,” Dinah said, chuckling
as the car slowed to a stop outside their destination. “This journey
took a seriously weird turn somewhere and now I need to get out
of here before someone suggests we all participate in a giant
orgy.” “I’m game,” Ally said nonchalantly. “Me too,” Troy agreed.
“I could probably be persuaded.” Camila added indifferently,
shrugging. “I can’t be,” Lauren said. “No offense Troy but you
don’t really do anything for me…” “None taken,” he chortled as
the limousine driver opened the door to let them out. “Ok, I’m
 out of here,” Dinah said hurriedly, shooting straight for the door
and departing the vehicle quickly, Siope and Normani following
swiftly behind her. “Something we said?” Troy asked blithely and
Ally shook her head before exiting the limousine, her hand
reaching for her boyfriends and pulling him out behind her. “Then
there were two,” Lauren said, draping one arm around Camila’s
shoulder and pulling her into a side hug. “Yep,” Camila said, her
dark chocolate eyes meeting Lauren’s and exposing her thinly
veiled nervousness once more. “Are you ready?” Lauren asked her
and Camila reached up and removed her girlfriend’s hand from
her shoulder, bringing it to her lips for a moment before
entwining their fingers together. She sighed heavily and her eyes
widened slightly. “Sure.” She said. “Let’s do this.” Camila leant
forward and stood up to step outside the limousine and into the
evening light outside. They joined the others who were waiting
for them on the grass nearby before heading inside the banquet
hall, the dim lighting making them pause momentarily in order for
their eyes to adjust. The hall was heaving with students and
groups of them huddled together around the space, most milling
around the outer edges of the room, talking noisily to one
another. Large tables were organised around the dance floor and
a small stage was set up with an assortment of musical
instruments for the band that were playing later. Overhead, the
ceiling was decorated with an assortment of blue and purple
balloons, banners, and draping’s, the colour scheme coordinating
 perfectly with the table decorations and chair covers. Along the
far wall, a long table with finger food and drinks was laid out
ready. “Welcome to prom,” Ally said, as the group paused to
study the scene before them, their eyes taking in every detail and
committing it to memory. “So basically it’s the same as any other
dance?” Normani asked, her eyes roaming the room interestedly.
“Pretty much,” Troy acknowledged, nodding his head. “You know
what that means then.” Camila said, leaning back against Lauren
who was standing behind her, both arms wrapped around the
smaller girl’s waist. “What?” Siope asked, glancing at Camila. “It’ll
be just as much fun,” she said, smiling brightly. “You’ve been to a
total of one school dance before,” Dinah reminded her amused
and Camila pulled Lauren’s arms around her tighter with her own.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 9/11 “Yeah I have but,” she said, twisting
her head up to look at Lauren who met her gaze happily. “You
know what? It really was a great night.” She said significantly,
remembering how her and Lauren had spent hours just talking,
the two of them tangled together in bed, both of them sharing
their private thoughts with one another, their personal hopes and
dreams. “Yeah, I bet it was.” Ally said suggestively and Lauren
glared at her in response. “We should probably find a table before
they’re all taken,” Normani suggested and the other’s nodded
their heads in acquiescence, following her across the room and
towards one in the far corner. Camila made a move too, but
 Lauren held her back, leaning her chin in to her shoulder and
kissing the side of her neck delicately. “That was a great night,”
she mumbled against her girlfriend’s skin, her arms enveloping
her firmly within them. “I know,” Camila agreed, twisting herself
around in Lauren’s arms so that she was facing her. “I have a
feeling tonight is going to beat it though.” She said and Camila
smiled, her eyes wandering around the room. “Ithink you’re
right,” Camila allowed, nodding her head. “You do?” Lauren
probed searchingly and Camila glanced over at their friends
before meeting the eyes that always captivated her so much.
“Yeah, I do.” She answered honestly. “Now that we’re actually
here I don’t know what I was so worried about. I mean, for one
thing, it’s dark in here and so no one has even looked in my
direction.” She noted pleased. “For another,” Camila continued.
“You’re here and my friends are all here,” she said. “What else
could I possibly need in order to enjoy myself?” Lauren pulled
Camila closer to her and kissed her forehead lightly, her lips
lingering over the scar above her left eye. “So you’re not nervous
anymore?” Lauren asked her and Camila shook her head against
her girlfriend’s shoulder. “No, not anymore.” Camila replied. “Ok,
then let’s go and have some fun shall we?” Lauren said, kissing
her on the forehead once more and releasing Camila. She took
the smaller girl’s hand in her own and tugged on it gently to lead
her across the room towards the others. “Lauren, wait,” Camila
said, pulling back on Lauren’s arm and causing her to stop and
 face her once more. “What’s wrong?” Lauren asked her.
“Nothing,” Camila answered. “I just…if we’re going to have fun
then we might as well do it properly,” she said hauling Lauren
towards her and crashing their lips together, her arms
immediately finding themselves around the taller girls neck. She
pulled Lauren in to her and deepened the kiss, enjoying the
familiar taste of her girlfriend’s lips against her own. “Yep,” Camila
said breathily when they’d parted. “You’re definitely a better
kisser than Normani.” “Thank God,” Lauren said, leading Camila
across the room by the hand. “Oh, by the way,” she said, stopping
just short of their group and turning to face Camila once more. “If
you kiss anyone that isn’t me again I’m going to kick your ass
alright?” “Is that a promise?” she asked lifting an eyebrow
seductively and sticking her tongue out between her teeth. “Oh
geez,” Lauren returned laughing. “You’re such a dork.” “Don’t
pretend that’s not the reason you love me,” Camila said. “I know
it is.” “Now I know why Normani hates you.” Lauren chuckled.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/79314747600/trialsand-
tribulationschapter74 10/11 “She doesn’t hate me. Not really,”
Camila said flippantly. “She loves me really.” “Not as much as I do
though,” Lauren thought as she watched Camila step around her
and sit down at the table with their friends. “No one will ever love
you as much as I do.”
Chapter 75
 Lauren moved from where she stood to join her friends at the
table, descending carefully in to a vacant seat beside Camila who
was listening intently to the others as they discussed the
entertainment which had been organised for the evening. “Hey
Lauren,” Troy said, noticing the greeneyed girl join them and
settle in to the chair opposite him. “Is it true that Michael Dyers
and his band are playing here tonight or is that just a rumour?”
“No, they are,” Lauren answered, her hand reaching out in search
of Camila’s reflexively once she was seated. She found it resting in
Camila’s lap and picked it up, her girlfriend surrendering it in to
her possession willingly. “Some of the seniors on the
entertainment committee saw them perform at Paul Matheson’s
birthday party a couple of months ago and booked them.” She
explained, lacing her fingers with Camila’s and stroking the base
of the smaller girls thumb with her own. “How did they manage to
get a gig like that?” Normani asked surprised. “Paul Matheson is
the star of the varsity football team….” Lauren gave Normani an
“Are you serious?”look and shook her head bewildered. “Stephen
the bass player is Paul’s younger brother.” She stated bluntly.
“Jesus Normani, how long have you known them?” Normani
looked embarrassed by the oversight and Ally laughed at her
friend, amused. “So, you’ve heard them right?” Dinah asked
Lauren interestedly, changing the topic a little. She was the only
one aware that Lauren had recently been to a couple of her
exboyfriend’s practices, the brunette attending them in order to
 organise singing a song during their set tonight. “Yes,” she
answered truthfully, Ally and Normani looking at her with curious
expressions on their faces. “I stopped by one of their rehearsals a
couple of weeks ago.” “You did?” Normani asked the greeneyed
girl, her tone searching. “Why?” “I’d stayed late at the library to
study and was passing by,” she lied easily. “So I thought drop in
and say ‘Hi’.” “Are they any good?” Dinah questioned, diverting
attention away from Lauren’s involvement with them. “Yeah,
surprisingly they are,” Lauren replied laughing, grateful for the
reprieve Dinah had afforded her. “Why is that funny?” Camila
asked, a smile curving up one corner of her mouth at Lauren’s
response. “If you’d heard them back in freshman year you’d
understand why it’s funny Camila,” Ally responded, laughing too.
“God, they were awful…I thought my ears were going to
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 2/15 start bleeding every time we went to
watch them practice.” “Why’d you go and watch them if they
were so bad?” Camila asked looking more than a little confused.
“Lauren made me,” Ally groaned, sighing audibly at the injustice
of it all. “Michael and I dated during freshman year Camz,
remember?” Lauren reminded her. “We’ve talked about it
before.” “We have?” Camila asked, her forehead knitting together
in concentration as she tried to recollect the conversation. “If it
helps to jog your memory, she only dated him because she had a
crush on his sister.” Normani supplied usefully. “Oh,” Camila said,
 the memory finally coming back to her. “She was on the
cheerleading squad right?” she questioned Lauren uncertainly.
“Yeah,” Lauren confirmed. “She graduated last year and went to
Duke University to study law on an academic scholarship.” “Not
that you’re keeping track of what she’s up to or anything?” Ally
said, chuckling in amusement. “I’m not,” Lauren defended light-
heartedly. “Michael told me when I spoke to him, that’s all.
Apparently she’s dating a football player now.” “A cheerleader
dating a football player?” Troy asked mockingly. “That’s a new
one.” Ally hit him on the arm playfully and he feigned insult, his
hand reaching to cover the spot protectively. “What was that
for?” Troy asked, nonplussed. “Don’t be so mean,” Ally scolded
him and he made a face at his girlfriend which prompted her to
laugh. They continued to sit and talk whilst the rest of the
banquet hall filled up around them, the atmosphere growing
noisier and more animated with each second that passed. Finally,
the dance floor filled and students threw caution to the wind as
they joked around with one another, the sound of loud, happy,
unabashed laughter echoing boisterously around the room.
Lauren and the others soon joined the rest of the students, the
upbeat songs that the DJ was playing inspiring their own foray on
to the dance floor. The small group danced with one another
joyfully, Dinah and Normani putting everyone else to shame. For
her part, Camila tried her best not to trip over her own feet or hit
herself in the face with her hands, the small girl less concerned
 with how she looked to other people in the room but enjoying
herself. Lauren smiled at the sight of her girlfriend whose fist was
pumping in the air as she jumped up and down on the spot facing
Dinah, the two of them singing along to the lyrics of the song
happily, their voices joining the chorus of everyone else’s. There
was one shortlived moment early during the night where Lauren
worried that Camila was about to break her ankle, the small
brunette landing inelegantly on the side of her foot and almost
falling in a heap on the floor. However, Lauren had instinctively
reached out for Camila’s torso and steadied her, her long arms
enveloping her girlfriend protectively, pulling her into the safety
of her embrace. Camila smiled at Lauren as she found her feet
again; a wide, lopsided grin spreading across her features and
making her eyes sparkle brightly under the fluorescent lights
above. “My hero,” Camila said as her hands found Lauren’s hips,
her eyes burning into the emerald pools of Lauren’s gratefully.
“Are you ok?” Lauren asked her laughing nervously at the near
miss and her girlfriend’s words, one hand lowering to the small of
Camila’s back whilst the other reached up to fix her girlfriend’s
wayward hair which had fallen across her face messily. “Yeah, I’m
ok,” Camila reassured the taller girl, her left hand riding up to
caress Lauren’s side delicately. “I’m all good thanks to you.” She
added meaningfully and Lauren got the impression that she was
talking about more than what had just happened.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter75 3/15 Lauren reached up a hand and
brushed her fingertips lightly over the scar on Camila’s forehead,
an unreadable expression on her face as she studied the
imperfection thoughtfully. Camila bought up her own hand and
wrapped her fingers around Lauren’s wrist carefully. “Sorry,”
Lauren apologised, moving her hand back slightly, believing
Camila had been making an attempt to break the contact. “Don’t
be,” Camila told her seriously, her hand guiding Lauren’s to her
chest. She pressed Lauren’s palm flat against it and remained
quiet, her eyes still fixed firmly on her girlfriend’s. Lauren waited a
minute, her hand feeling the steady beating of Camila’s heart
beneath it, uncertain what to say to break the comfortable silence
that had fallen between them. “I don’t make your heart flutter
anymore?” Lauren teased uneasily after a while, smiling; happy
that she no longer had to feel the unhealthily erratic beat of
Camila’s heart. “No,” Camila said sighing heavily, her own grin
widening in response to the sight of Lauren’s. “You still do. Trust
me.” “Are you sure?” Lauren asked lightly, using the hand that still
rested against the small of Camila’s back to bring their hips a little
closer together. “It’s doesn’t feel like it.” “Yes, I’m sure.” Camila
said deeply, releasing Lauren’s hand and nudging her
goodnaturedly. Lauren ran her fingertips through the dark locks of
hair on the left side of Camila’s head and felt the thick scar hidden
beneath. She began to trace it solidly with her thumb and saw
Camila’s eyes close momentarily, her girlfriend enjoying the relief
 the contact bought her, the skin taut and uncomfortable where
the tissue had healed. “Does it hurt?” Lauren asked Camila, her
voice quiet as she continued to rub the scar soothingly. “No, not
really,” Camila replied honestly, opening her eyes again to meet
Lauren’s questioning stare. “It’s just uncomfortable sometimes.”
She admitted. “That feels nice though.” She shared appreciatively,
closing her eyes again. Lauren quirked the corner of her mouth up
in to a sad smile and leant forward to place a soft kiss against
Camila’s forehead comfortingly, her lips lingering there as her
fingertips persisted to massage her girlfriend’s scar and
simultaneously stroke her hair at the same time. “Can we go
outside for bit?” Camila asked leaning back and opening her eyes
to look upon Lauren’s face. “I need some fresh air.” “Do you have
a headache?” she queried and Camila nodded her head almost
imperceptibly. “A little,” she confessed. “Ok,” Lauren agreed and
she reached down to take hold of Camila’s hand. “Hey, where are
you two going?” Ally asked lifting her eyebrow suggestively when
she noticed the two of them making a move to leave. “Camz has a
headache so we’re going to get some air,” Lauren told her, rolling
her eyes. “We won’t be long alright?” “Alright,” Ally said, a smirk
appearing on her face. “You two take your time.” Lauren shook
her head exasperated and led Camila across the dance floor, the
pair of them weaving in between the crowd of students until they
eventually reached the double doors which opened out onto a
large and relatively abandoned terrace. They stepped outside and
 in to the night, the light, cool breeze a welcome and refreshing
respite from the stifling heat inside. “Here,” Lauren said, guiding
Camila on to a bench in the corner of the terrace. “Do you want
me to get you something to drink?” she asked. “No,” Camila
answered, tugging on Lauren’s arm in a silent gesture for her to sit
down. “Ijust need a minute that’s all. It’s so hot in there.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 4/15 Lauren sat down beside Camila and
draped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her small frame
against her side. The music from inside was quieter out here but
Lauren’s ears were still ringing from the loud bass, muffling
everything else around her, including the voices of the few other
students who sat around nearby. “You looked like you were
enjoying yourself in there,” Lauren noted as Camila rested her
head against her shoulder, her hand reaching for her girlfriend’s
free one. She interlocked their fingers, her eyes fixed straight
ahead of her, staring in to the night sky as she answered. “I am.”
Camila replied sincerely, twisting her head to look up at Lauren.
“Are you?” “Enjoying myself?” Lauren asked for clarification and
Camila nodded. “Yeah, I am.” Camila returned her attention
forward, her eyes taking in the bright stars as they sparkled in the
sky above, her mind trying to conjure up pictures from the
constellations but failing. “You’re quiet,” Lauren said, breaking the
silence, worried about Camila. “I’m just thinking,” Camila
returned, her tone light. “I’m fine, I promise.” She said, snuggling
 closer in to Lauren’s side. “What are you thinking about?” Lauren
asked attentively, the hand hovering over Camila’s shoulder
beginning to play with the smaller girl’s hair again. “The stars,”
Camila replied. Lauren glanced up at the sky and studied the
small, luminous points which were scattered like small droplets of
white paint on black paper. “What about them?” Lauren
questioned. “I was just trying to see if I recognised any of the
constellations.” Camila told her. “Do you know the
constellations?” Lauren asked her surprised and Camila shook her
head. “No,” she admitted laughing. “Do you?” Lauren looked up
to the sky again and squinted in concentration, a soft exhalation
escaping her lips as a small laugh. “I’ve heard of some of them but
I don’t think that I could spot them,” she said, resting her chin on
top of Camila’s head. “I don’t know them that well.” “Pretend that
you do,” Camila prompted and Lauren smiled as she thought
about the ones she knew. “Ok,” Lauren said. “Well, let’s
see….there’s Orion, the hunter.” She explained pointing to a
cluster of stars that could very well be any constellation for all she
knew. “That’s the one with the belt, isn’t it?” Camila asked and
Lauren pointed to a row of three stars in the sky. “Yeah,” she
substantiated. “That’s it there,” she said, laughing, still clueless.
“What other ones do you know?” Camila asked amused by
Lauren’s charade. “Here,” Lauren said, lifting their joined hands
and pointing to nothing in particular. “That’s Cassiopeia.”
“Cassiopeia?” “Yeah,” Lauren reaffirmed. “She was a boastful,
 vain queen in Greek Mythology and it was said that she was
placed in the sky as a punishment for her arrogance because she
offended the sea nymphs, who were blessed with great beauty,
by saying she and her daughter were more beautiful than them.”
“That doesn’t seem like such a bad punishment if you ask me
though,” Camila remarked. “Imagine what the world looks like
from up there.” “According to mythology she was forced to wheel
around the sky on her throne,” Lauren explained, smiling at
Camila’s lack of understanding, but taking the time to explain.
“Now she spends most of her time clinging to it, just trying not to
fall off. There probably isn’t really much of a chance for her to
take in the view.” She finished.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 5/15 “Ok, well that sounds less fun.” Camila
acknowledged chuckling. “I think one of the constellations is
named after her daughter Andromeda though,” Lauren said
uncertainly. “I know the story of Andromeda,” Camila said
enthusiastically. “I remember I read it once. Her father chained
her to a rock by the sea as a sacrifice to the sea monster that was
attacking their kingdom.” “That’s right,” Lauren supplied
encouragingly. “Perseus came and saved her though.” Camila
continued. “Yes, he did,” Lauren agreed. “He turned the sea
monster to stone using the head of the medusa,” she recounted.
“Then they got married and had like, a hundred children,” she
joked. “Ithink it was more like nine,” Lauren laughed. Camila
 turned her face to look up at Lauren, her free hand settling
against her girlfriend’s chest. “Do you think she was put up there
as a punishment too?” Camila asked. Lauren shrugged. “I don’t
know.” She disclosed. “Maybe.” “Do you think that perhaps
everyone becomes a star once they die?” Camila asked her
girlfriend wistfully. “Are you getting philosophical on me again?”
Lauren returned and Camila looked back to the sky. “I’m just
curious,” Camila answered; her head resting against Lauren’s
chest. “Ithink it’d be nice, you know, to think that the sky is lit
with the infinite souls of the world.” She paused for a moment to
allow Lauren a chance to respond but continued when she didn’t
say anything. “Imagine people in their purest, truest form,
returning to the sky to watch over the people that they left
behind.” She went on. “They could observe every generation that
followed in their footstep for an eternity, seeing the dynasty
they’d created, the lives they’d been responsible for, the
happiness they’d led to.” “True immortality,” Lauren said,
realising where Camila’s thoughts had strayed. Camila returned
her attention to Lauren and squeezed her girlfriend’s hand.
“Sometimes I feel so insignificant,” Camila confessed as she
examined the enormity of the cosmos again. “I wonder you know,
how long it would have taken people to forget me if I’d died in the
accident.” “It would have taken them a lifetime,” Lauren
reassured her confidently. “You’re just saying that,” Camila said.
“No,” Lauren said, her fingers finding Camila’s scar on the side of
 her head and fondling it gently. “I’m not. You’d be almost
impossible to forget Camz. Trust me. I tried once and every little
insignificant thing would remind me of you.” She paused for a
moment and kissed Camila’s temple lightly. “I’d hear a song on
the radio and I’d remember that you were the person that first
shared it with me,” she continued, “or I’d read a quote in a book
at school and think that you’d have really liked it.” She disclosed.
“I’d think of you every time I ever went near the beach and heard
the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. I’d remember
you every time I ever ate a slice of pizza or went to the batting
cages. You’ve tainted everything around me so that there is not
one place that isn’t ours, that doesn’t contain some memory of
you. You’d be everywhere and I’d be grateful because I don’t ever
want to forget someone as amazing as you.” Lauren rested her
cheek against the top of Camila’s head and sighed. “You want to
be a star Camz, to be infinite and luminous when you die, to be
remembered,” Lauren acknowledged, “but you’re already those
things. You bring light in to my life every single day and the joy
that you make me feel is endless. I don’t think
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 6/15 it’ll ever die out.” She said. “I think
what you really want to know is that you had an impact, that your
life meant something, that you meant something.” She explained.
“I want to know that I didn’t waste it,” Camila admitted. “I’m
worried that I’ve wasted it, my life and the time that I’ve been
 given back…” she elucidated. “I spent so long in rehab, so long
being angry at everyone and everything including myself that I
think that I have Lauren. I wasted it. I was so ungrateful for it and I
shouldn’t have been.” Camila twisted her left arm to look at the
small scars that littered it and Lauren untangled their hands to
brush her fingertips against them carefully. “You haven’t wasted
it,” Lauren comforted her. “You haven’t ok? I promise. You had to
recover and you did Camz. I mean, look how much you’ve grown,
how much you’ve changed since we first met…you can’t say that
time was wasted.” Camila looked up at Lauren and stretched her
neck to place a chaste kiss against her lips. “Ilove you,” Camila
declared, her hand brushing Lauren’s cheek as she stared deep in
to her eyes. “I love you too,” Lauren returned. “Trust me. I know
that your time hasn’t been wasted because you gave it to me
when you loved me back. She paused for an instant to caress
Camila’s brow. “I love you so much Camz.” Lauren said; her tone
soft and sincere as she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl’s
torso and pulled her close against her own again. “I love you and I
always have done. I love the girl that I first saw in the hallway
back in September; the clumsy, stuttering, hesitant, shy, self-
deprecating one, the one that was completely and totally
oblivious to my feelings for her. I love the girl that slowly fell apart
piece by piece, the girl that crumbled in to a million tiny little
pieces right in front of my very eyes because the weight of
everything that she’d been through was crushing her beneath it. I
love her Camz. Ilove her.” She said poignantly. “I love her and the
girl that she became, the one that shattered my own heart in her
grief, the girl that tore my heart in two, that disappeared from my
life so abruptly and so completely that for a while I thought I’d
made her up. I love the girl that made me long for her every
second of every day that we were parted, the one that made me
realise that absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder, that all
separation does is make my chest ache with a pain and a yearning
that could only be healed by her return.” Lauren paused for a
moment and smiled at Camila, her right hand reaching up so that
her fingertips could trace the scar on her girlfriend’s forehead
lightly. “I love the girl that could have given up but didn’t,” she
continued, brushing a strand of Camila’s soft, dark hair out of her
eyes and tucking it behind her ear, “the girl that came home from
rehab and turned her life around. I love that girl too; the one that
laughs at her own jokes, that has discovered a new found love of
life, the girl that has a renewed energy and magnetism about her
which makes her whole face light up, the smile that never quite
reached her eyes before now making them sparkle brightly. I love
the girl that thinks she can’t dance but chooses to anyway, the
one that can now see the beauty in the world, the beauty in
almost everything except herself. I love her and I love the quiet,
reflective, thoughtful, smart, philosophical, intelligent girl that sits
alone in her bedroom reading; the girl who writes down every
thought and every feeling in her journal, the girl that is brave
enough and kind enough to share them with me. I love the caring,
sympathetic, compassionate girl, the girl who loves her sister,
who feels guilty for the burden that she thinks she’s inflicted on
her family and friends.” Lauren sighed audibly at the sight of a
tear escaping down Camila’s cheek and wiped at her girlfriend’s
eyes with the pad of her thumb in an attempt to dry them. “I love
the girl that still, after all this time, can’t quite see that she is not
an inconvenience to the people that she loves but a gift. You are a
gift Camz.” Lauren told her. “You are the best gift that any of us
could ever ask for.” Lauren’s fingertips played with the hair at
Camila’s temple soothingly, her piercing green eyes studying her
girlfriend. “I love you Camz.” She said simply. “I love every version
of you that exists, both the good and the bad. There is not a single
part of you that I don’t love. I’ve loved you, all of you, and I will
continue to love all of you, forever,” she promised. “I’ll never stop
loving you Camz, never, not even if you stop loving me.” Camila
smiled; her cute, lopsided grin, curling up one corner of her
mouth as her eyes glistened in the evening light around them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 7/15 “So you will be infinite,” Lauren told
her. “Even more than you already are.” “Thank you,” Camila said,
stretching up to kiss Lauren again, consoled by her words, by her
constant support. “That was really nice.” “Well, it was true.”
Lauren said, a small smile playing on her lips. Lauren brought their
mouths together again briefly and then looked at Camila whose
 eyes had narrowed thoughtfully. “Do you want to go back inside
and dance?” she asked her girlfriend, keen to get back to their
friends and move away from the topic of conversation that they’d
strayed too. “Is your headache gone?” Lauren asked and Camila
nodded her head, her thumb wiping at her eye to make sure that
all remnants of her few tears had been eradicated. “Yeah,” she
replied honestly. “Ifeel better.” “Ok then,” Lauren agreed,
standing up and holding out a hand for Camila to take. The
smaller girl accepted the offered limb gratefully and Lauren led
her back inside where the sound of the stereo system met their
ears as it blared out music deafeningly. “I might just go to
bathroom before we head back to the others,” Camila said,
pausing on the edge of the dance floor for a moment and causing
Lauren to stop in her tracks. “Do you want me to come with you?”
Lauren questioned and Camila shook her head. “No, I won’t be a
minute,” she said. “Ok, I’ll go and get us a couple of drinks,”
Lauren said, swinging their joined hands between them for an
instant and then releasing Camila’s to allow her to leave. “Great,
thanks.” Camila acknowledged before wandering off to the
restroom. Lauren made her own way to the refreshment table
and found Dinah standing alone, contemplating her choice of
beverage. “Hey, is everything ok? Ally said Mila had a headache,”
Dinah said when she was made aware of Lauren’s presence by the
hand the greeneyed girl had placed on her shoulder in greeting.
“Yeah,” Lauren replied. “She says it feels better now though.”
 “What about you?” Dinah asked. “Are you ok? Feeling nervous
about later on yet?” “A little,” Lauren divulged, playing with her
fingers anxiously in front of her. “I’ve never sung in front of other
people before. It’s a little bit terrifying if I’m honest.” “You’ll be
fine,” Dinah assured her confidently. “I know it.” Dinah stepped
over to a bowl of drink and picked up a cup and the ladle, ready to
scoop some of the liquid in to it. “You might want to steer clear of
anything that isn’t in a bottle if you’re trying to stay away from
alcohol.” Lauren suggested helpfully. “I saw Stacy Ferguson
hovering around here earlier whilst her friend Brianne distracted
Mr Lopez. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s spiked.” Dinah looked at
Lauren but didn’t say anything, the hand which held the ladle
twitching indecisively for a moment before it placed the utensil
back in the bowl. “Why do you think I’d be avoiding alcohol?”
Dinah asked warily, placing the cup back on the table and turning
to face Lauren head on. “I don’t…” Lauren said, realising her
mistake but now more certain than anything that what Camila
had revealed to her about Dinah was true. “I just…I mean, it was
just a heads up in case you were for some reason, that’s all…”
“Did Mila tell you?” Dinah asked in disbelief, still not saying the
words out loud to put Lauren’s suspicions to rest once and for all.
“It was supposed to be a secret. Jesus.” She groaned. “I didn’t
want anyone else to know yet. I should have known that she’d go
straight to you…” “She didn’t!” Lauren protested quickly, taking a
step towards Dinah, feeling like she needed to defend Camila who
 remained completely oblivious to the fact that she’d let her best
friend’s secret slip. “I promise Dinah, ok? Camz doesn’t know that
I know…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 8/15 “You’re just protecting her,” Dinah cut
her off not buying it and Lauren shook her head, placing a hand on
the taller girl’s arm desperately. “I’m not I promise,” Lauren said
quickly. “Camz doesn’t know that she told me and she’d be
devastated if she thought that she’d let your secret slip…you
know she would Dinah… you know she’d never tell me against
your wishes…deep down you know that…” “Well then, what
happened?” Dinah asked, the truth in Lauren’s words finally
striking a chord with her. “When did she, you know, tell you that I
was…” the Polynesian trailed off, her eyes darting around the
room to check no one was watching their conversation. “You
know,” she continued after a minute, “pregnant,” she whispered
in to Lauren’s ear. Lauren tried not to let the surprise at the
admission register on her face as she took a step closer to Dinah.
“It was at the hospital after she’d had the cardioversion,” Lauren
explained. “She was still kind of drowsy from the anaesthetic and
she just let it slip. She doesn’t remember saying it though Dinah
and I thought that maybe she’d just been confused, I mean, I
didn’t even know you actually were…you know….” She trailed off,
leaving the word hanging between them. “I didn’t really know
definitively one way or another until just now…I’m sorry,” Lauren
 apologised sincerely. “Please, don’t be angry with Camz. I’ve not
spoken to her about it. As far as she’s concerned she’s still
keeping your secret.” Dinah considered Lauren’s words for a
minute and glanced out over the dance floor, her eyes falling on
Camila who’d just reemerged from the bathroom, her chocolate
eyes scanning the room in search of Lauren and the rest of her
friends. “She doesn’t know that you know?” Dinah questioned
unconvinced. “I promise,” Lauren replied. “Dinah you know Camz
would never betray your trust. Not even to me. You two have
known each other much longer than she and I have. She’d never
do that to you.” Dinah didn’t meet Lauren’s eyes, her gaze
following Camila as she struggled to navigate a path through the
crowd of students occupying the dance floor towards where the
two of them were stood. “Ok,” Dinah said, realising the truth of
Lauren’s words. “I believe you.” “You won’t tell her that I know?”
Lauren questioned hurriedly, afraid Camila would hear them if she
managed to fight her way through the mass of people gathered
before her. “No,” Dinah reassured her, finally meeting Lauren’s
nervous gaze. “I won’t tell her, ok?” “Ok,” Lauren said, an
awkward silence falling between them for the first time in a long
time. Lauren looked at her feet, uncertain what to say to her
friend in response to the news but unable to change the subject
without looking tactless. Dinah appeared to be having the same
problem and occupied herself by reaching for a bottle of water on
the table and opening the seal on it noisily. “Ifeel like I should say
 something but I don’t know what?” Lauren finally said, lifting her
eyes to Dinah’s again and breaking the hush between them.
“That’s ok,” Dinah reassured her. “I know it’s a lot to take in. I still
haven’t quite gotten my head around it either…” “Are
you…keeping it?” Lauren asked, lowering her voice so that even
Dinah struggled to hear what she’d uttered. “Yeah,” Dinah
nodded in affirmation. “I am.” “So…there’ll be a little version of
you running around next year?” Lauren questioned and Dinah
smiled at the thought. “I guess…” Dinah acknowledged. “Do you
think it’ll come out the same size as Ally?” Lauren said playfully,
trying to break the palpable tension in the air. “Oh God,” Dinah
laughed loudly and Lauren relaxed as she too laughed at her own
joke. “I hope not.” “Do we need to like…hug or something?”
Lauren asked and Dinah’s grin grew wide.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 9/15 “Sure, why not?” she replied stepping
forward and pulling Lauren in to a bear hug. “Congratulations?”
Lauren questioned uncertainly and she felt Dinah nod her head
against her shoulder. “Ithink so,” Dinah told her and Lauren
squeezed the other girl tighter in her grasp. “Camz did say one
thing in her drowsiness that I knew without a doubt was true,”
Lauren said, rubbing Dinah’s arms as they separated. “Oh yeah,”
Dinah responded, intrigued. “What was that?” “She said that
you’d make a great mom,” Lauren shared with her and Dinah
smiled at the kindness of Lauren’s tone, reaching for her hand and
 squeezing it thankfully. “You want to be a crazy aunt?” Dinah
asked, lowering her voice conspiratorially and Lauren chuckled at
the question. “Ithink Camz will pretty much have that covered.”
She joked. “Ok,” Dinah conceded. “Well then, you can be the cool
aunt.” She suggested. “Really?” Lauren asked. “Depends,” Dinah
returned. “On what?” Lauren questioned puzzled. “On whether
you really believe that you and Mila are going to be together
forever,” Dinah said, turning her head in Camila’s direction who
had almost managed to carve a path through the students
towards them. “I’ll be the cool aunt,” Lauren said simply,
answering both questions at once, her attention also turning in
Camila’s direction, the small girl appearing from between two tall
seniors a few feet away. “Jesus, that was a fucking mission.”
Camila said, wiping her brow, a thin veil of sweat covering her
forehead. “Why didn’t you just walk around?” Lauren asked her
amused at the dishevelled appearance of her Camila who turned
to look at her girlfriend’s suggested route. “Ok, let’s just pretend
that wasn’t an option.” Camila said feeling foolish and turning to
smile brightly at Dinah. “Hey,” she said in greeting, lifting one
hand. “Miss me?” “No,” Dinah said, making a face and Camila hit
her playfully on the arm. “Of course you did.” She said
dismissively. “Lauren said you had a headache,” Dinah returned
“are you feeling better now? We could head off if you’re tired,”
she offered. “No, that’s alright. It’s gone now,” Camila informed
her. “I think the fresh air helped. It’s so stuffy in here though.
 They need a better airconditioning system.” “Here,” Lauren said,
picking up a bottle of water from the table and offering it to her
girlfriend. “Rehydrate, that’ll help.” Camila took the bottle
gratefully and opened it up, bringing it to her lips immediately and
taking in a huge gulp of the refreshing liquid. “Thanks.” She said
when she’d finished, her eyes falling on to Miss Lovato who’d just
approached them from the other side of the table. “Hi girls,” Miss
Lovato greeted warmly. “Are you all having a good night?” “Hey,”
they all reciprocated, Camila beaming widely at the older
woman’s presence and taking a step closer to the table. “Yeah,
are you?” she asked. “As much fun as a chaperone is allowed to
have at these things,” she replied. “It’s nice to see you Camila,”
she approved amiably. “You look really well. How have you
been?” “Better,” Camila answered glancing between her two
friends who were watching the interaction happily. “I’m much
better, thanks.” She paused for a minute to place her bottle back
on the table and took another step forward so that her thighs
were almost resting against it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 10/15 “I’ve…umm…I’ve finished all my
credits for this year now so I’ll definitely be moving up as a senior
in the fall.” She confided pleased. “That’s great,” Miss Lovato
praised. “So does that mean I’ll see you back in my English class
again?” “I’m not sure yet,” Camila admitted. “I haven’t discussed
it with my parents or my therapist or anything but, I’d like to
 come back to school.” “Well, I’ll keep an eye out for you.” Miss
Lovato said. “It’ll be nice to have you back. I always used to look
forward to hearing your views on the books we were reading. My
class just wasn’t quite the same when you’d left. No offense
Lauren.” She added, casting an eye at the greeneyed girl who was
standing beside Camila. “None taken,” Lauren laughed, placing a
hand on Camila’s shoulder. “I thought the exact same thing.” “I’m
glad that you’re here actually,” Camila said, shifting the
conversation slightly. “I wanted to thank you personally for, well,
you know,” she said casting a look at Dinah, “the gift you gave
me.” “Did you like it?” Miss Lovato asked and Camila’s mouth
dropped open wide. “Are you serious?” she responded, perplexed
by the question. “I loved it! It was amazing, thank you.” “How did
you get a book signed by Demi Lovato?” Dinah asked the teacher
probingly. “I might know a few people,” Miss Lovato replied
evasively, a knowing grin on her face. “People like Demi?” Dinah
asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously, neither of the other two
girls having told the Polynesian the truth about Miss Lovato’s
relationship with the singer, despite her probably having guessed
as much. “Perhaps,” Miss Lovato said. “You’re really not going to
tell me?” Dinah complained. “I mean, it’s hardly a secret or
anything is it? There have been rumours going around school
about it since you first got here.” “Then you don’t need me to tell
you, do you?” Miss Lovato laughed. Dinah frowned unhappily and
Camila gave her a pointed look, telling her to be quiet for just a
 moment. “You didn’t have to do that for me,” Camila said,
addressing the teacher again. “I didn’t really know how to
properly thank you for everything that you did for me at school,
yet alone this…I mean, it’s Demi Lovato…” “You don’t have to
thank me Camila,” Miss Lovato informed her. “I’ve already told
you that. I wanted to do this for you and honestly, seeing how far
you’ve come and how happy you are now, that’s more thanks
than I could ever need.” “You know I’ve been thinking about what
I want to do when Ileave school.” Camila said. “You have?” Miss
Lovato asked fascinated. “Yeah,” Camila said, dropping her gaze
to the table, suddenly feeling shy, “and I know that you said I
should consider writing but I don’t think that’s what I want to do.”
“Have you decided to become a boxer?” Miss Lovato teased,
referring back to the black eye Camila had given her. “No,” Camila
laughed, looking up to meet Miss Lovato’s inquisitive gaze again.
“I was thinking that I’d quite like to teach.” Miss Lovato couldn’t
contain the grin that spread across her face at the confession and
Camila smiled too, pleased that her choice of career had so
evidently delighted the teacher. “I was thinking maybe I could
teach English like you,” Camila went on enthusiastically. “You
always said I never had any problems talking about the things I
was passionate about and I love books…plus, it’ll mean I can still
read all the time…I just…I wanted to let you know that you really
inspired me…” “Well,” Miss Lovato said, rubbing the back of her
neck touched. “I don’t think you could have given me a better
 ‘thank you’ than that.” She said exhaling deeply, blowing all the
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 11/15 air out of her lungs. She heard her
name being called and turned to look over towards the door
where Mr Lopez was beckoning her, apparently having broken up
some kind of argument between two boys on the basketball
team. “Sorry,” she apologised, glancing between Camila and the
other teacher indecisively. “I need to go and sort this out,” she
said. “Hopefully I’ll see you again later but if not then we’ll discuss
this more next year, right?” she asked optimistically and Camila
nodded her head. “Yeah,” she determinedly, “Ithink we will.”
“Alright,” Miss Lovato said, nodding her head in
acknowledgement. “In that case, enjoy the rest of your night girls.
Have a great summer,” she addressed to Camila specifically,
knowing that she wouldn’t see her school for the final week of
classes before vacation. “It couldn’t be worse than last years,”
Camila joked. “I mean, at least I’ll hopefully remember it this time
around.” “You better,” Miss Lovato said, “I want to hear all about
it ok? Promise me.” “Ok, I promise,” Camila agreed. “I’m going to
hold you to that,” she threatened lightheartedly, offering the girls
one final smile before disappearing to help Mr Lopez deal with the
two students he’d detained. “I can’t wait for us to be back at
school together again,” Dinah said cheerfully, remembering all the
fun they’d had there together during Camila’s good days. “I hope
we all still have the same home room.” “We didn’t all have the
same home room,” Lauren laughed, picking up Camila’s bottle of
water and having a quick sip. “What about Normani?” “Who cares
about Normani,” Dinah scoffed humorously, waving her hand.
“I’m talking about me and Mila back together again! I see enough
of Normani at dance!” Camila gave Dinah a look that expressed
the fact she wasn’t completely convinced that Dinah would be
back at school straightaway in the fall but didn’t say anything, not
wanting to mention anything in front of Lauren. Dinah shook her
head on seeing it and knew Lauren had been telling the truth
about Camila’s lack of insight in to her mistake. “Yep! Cheechee
and Chancho back together again!” she said gleefully, putting her
arm around Camila’s shoulders and leading her back in the
direction on the dance floor, Lauren watching the two of them go
with an amused look on her face. “Jesus,” she muttered under her
breath laughing. “God help us all.” She chuckled, following closely
after them to rejoin the rest of their friends. They continued to
dance, Normani and Dinah requesting one too many Beyoncé
songs for the rest of their liking. Eventually the Michael’s band
took to the stage and the group stood to watch for the first song,
enjoying their cover of The Killer’s ‘Mr Brightside.’ “You’re right,”
Camila said, her back leaning against Lauren’s torso as they
watched, the greeneyed girls arms wrapped around her waist.
“They are good.” “They’ve definitely improved since freshmen
year,” Ally agreed. “Perhaps you should have tried being straight
for a little bit longer Lo,” she jested. “Maybe one day they’ll have
a platinum selling record and headline at Madison Square Garden.
You could have been married to the lead singer in a band. You
could have been rich.” “Money isn’t everything,” Lauren said,
dropping her lips to the side of Camila’s neck and pressing them
against her skin tenderly. “Besides, I’m already rich.” “Oh God,”
Normani protested, chortling. “So it begins.” “You’re just jealous,”
Camila beamed and Normani gave her a look that said, ‘Please.’
Once the first song had played, the group took to dancing once
more, Camila trying her best not to step on Lauren’s for a third
time that evening and failing miserably. “Shit! Sorry,” she giggled.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 12/15 “That’s alright,” Lauren reassured
her, stepping back out of Camila’s range. “Your toes are going to
hurt tomorrow,” Camila noted, making an apologetic face. “They
hurt now,” Lauren laughed. “Good thing I’m not wearing heels,”
Camila realised. “Yeah, otherwise my feet would have been
impaled,” she agreed. “I told you not to get within a five foot
radius of Camila when she’s dancing Lo,” Normani commented
amused. “She’s hazardous for your health.” “Oh come on,” Camila
said, “I’ve gotten better at dancing, haven’t I?” she asked the
other girl who didn’t respond to the question. “Right?” she
persisted. When Normani just smiled at her, Camila turned to
Dinah. “Right Dinah?” she questioned and the taller girl laughed,
placing a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry Mila but you still suck,”
Dinah informed her simply. Camila pouted and Ally placed a
 reassuring hand on her arm. “At least you have a legitimate
excuse though,” she supplied. “I don’t have one and I’m just as
bad.” “Guys I’m just going to head to the bathroom,” Lauren said,
gesturing in their direction by pointing her thumb over her
shoulder. When no one acknowledged her words, apparently too
distracted by Camila trying to prove her worth as a hip hop
dancer, Lauren just laughed and slipped away unnoticed. She
made her way to the back of the small stage, behind two large
speakers which hid the band, who were on a quick break, from
view. “Hey Lauren,” Michael greeted, pleased to see her. “I
thought maybe you’d changed your mind about singing with us.”
“No,” Lauren said, smiling at her exboyfriend kindly. “I still want
to if that’s ok with you?” “Of course,” he said, standing up from
where he’d been sitting. “The guys were just saying how good you
were. They want me to convince you to join the band as our
female vocalist.” “Thanks, but I’m not sure that’s really my thing.”
She replied. “This is just a one off.” “Well, the offer is there.” He
said, placing his bottle back on the floor beside the stage. “Think
about it, ok?” “Ok,” Lauren agreed as the rest of the members
stood up and returned to the stage. “We’re going to start with
your song alright?” Michael said, handing Lauren his spare
acoustic guitar. “Great,” Lauren said, sliding it over shoulder as
Michael gestured for Lauren to make her way up on to the stage,
her stomach starting to churn violently with her nerves. “After
you,” he said. “Thanks for this Michael,” she said gratefully. “No
 problem,” he said before she stepped up on to the platform,
Michael following after her and approaching one of the
microphones set up at the front of the stage. “Ok guys,” he said,
once the music on the stereo system had faded out and all that
could be heard in the room was the general, unintelligible mutters
of the students in front of him. “So, we’re going to slow it down a
little bit for the rest of our set.” He said, tuning in his own guitar
as he spoke. “Ithink you’ll all probably agree that you’ve heard
enough of my voice this evening,” he joshed blithely. “So I’ve
asked a friend of mine to come up and sing something for you
instead.” He finished, lifting his hand towards Lauren who was
stood beside him. “Can everyone give it up for Lauren?” he asked,
and the brunette noticed Camila’s head turn left and right in
search of her girlfriend, apparently only just realising that she was
absent. Camila looked up in the direction of the stage as Lauren
stepped forward towards the microphone. She levelled her gaze
at Camila and met her surprised eyes as she spoke.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 13/15 “Hey,” Lauren said, her voice
cracking slightly with her nerves. “So, I don’t normally do this kind
of thing,” she admitted, “but I’ve been feeling a little inspired
lately and someone once encouraged me to sing a song for the
person that I liked to show them how I feel…” she paused for a
moment meaningfully before continuing. “That was almost six
months ago now.” She admitted. “So, as you can see, I’m a little
 bit late.” A few people in the room laughed at Lauren’s joke but
her greeneyes remained firmly focused on Camila who stood
paralysed, watching her. “That person knows who they are,”
Lauren said, but she knew as well as Camila that the rest of the
students gathered had probably already guessed that she was
talking about her. “So, I’m going to sing an acoustic version of a
song I know they like, just for them.” Lauren sighed audibly in to
the microphone and strummed a chord on her guitar. “Ok,” she
said, exhaling again and mentally preparing herself. “Here we go.”
Lauren started to play her guitar, Michael joining in with his
acoustic guitar along with the keyboard player; the bass player
and drummer sitting this song out. “You’re insecure, don’t know
what for, you’re turning heads when you walk through the door.
Don’t need makeup to cover up. Being the way that you are is
enough. And everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else
but you,” Lauren sang melodiously, her voice causing the room to
go silent as couples starting to slow dance on the floor in front of
her. She kept her eyes fixed on Camila whose eyes were burning
in to Lauren’s indecipherably from where she stood and she
noticed some people glancing in the smaller girl’s direction from
her vantage point on the stage. “Baby, you light up my world like
nobody else. The way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell you don’t
know, no, you don’t know you’re beautiful. If only you saw what I
could see, you’d understand why I want you so desperately. Well,
 I’m looking at you and I can’t believe, you don’t know, no, you
don’t know you’re beautiful.” “Mila,” Camila heard Dinah say
questioningly from beside her. “Are you ok?” “Shh….” Camila
returned, her eyes never leaving Lauren, her attention focused on
her girlfriend and only her. “Oh girl come on, you got it wrong. To
prove I’m right I put it in a song. You’re acting shy, I don’t know
why. You can tell by the look in your eye. And everyone else in the
room can see it, everyone else but you.” “Ok, did anyone else
know that Lo was doing this?” Ally asked, glancing around at her
friends searchingly. “Shh…” Camila said again, her brow furrowing
in mild annoyance. “Baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
The way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you
smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t know, no, you
don’t know you’re beautiful. If only you saw what I could see,
you’d understand why I want you so desperately. Well, I’m
looking at you and I can’t believe, you don’t know, no, you don’t
know you’re beautiful.” Lauren finished out the song, her hand
strumming on the guitar deftly until it came to a close and people
in the room stopped to clap her performance, but, most
importantly, Camila clapped, a face eating grin on her face at her
girlfriend’s talent. “Thanks,” Lauren said feeling relieved, a small
smile creeping on to her own lips as she dropped her gaze to the
floor and stepped back from the microphone. She still felt a little
bashful as she lifted the guitar strap from around her neck and
lowering the instrument so the bottom of it rested against the
 floor. “Ok,” Michael said, quickly stepping up to the microphone
and holding on to Lauren’s wrist before she could leave. “So, I
don’t think we can really let her go without an encore right?” he
asked and the question was met with a resounding roar from the
crowd. Lauren shook her head and lifted one hand up in
objection, but she heard Camila’s small voice from the back of the
room join in with the other cries. “Come on Lauren,” Michael said
quietly to her, “one more song?” Lauren glanced at Camila and
her friends, picking up the guitar again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/81198269954/trialsand-
tribulationschapter75 14/15 “Ok,” she said in to the microphone,
an idea coming to her as she placed the strap back over her
shoulder and settled it in her arms. “I’ll sing you one more song.”
She agreed and everyone cheered, the energy of the night making
them boisterous and amenable to anything. “Only on one
condition,” she continued, looking straight at Camila and filling
the smaller girl with a sense of dread. “I want someone else to
sing and play it with me.” “Shit,” Camila said under her breath,
the elation from moments ago suddenly replaced with a horrible
sense of foreboding. “Camila?” Lauren questioned and every head
in the room that knew who she was turned in her direction.
“What do you say?
Chapter 76
The instant the words left Lauren’s lips she knew that they were a
mistake and she cursed herself privately for being so brash and
 impulsive. ‘Shit,’ she thought, her stomach dropping out from
underneath her unpleasantly at the look of sheer terror which had
appeared on Camila’s face, the realisation that everyone in the
room was now looking in her direction finally dawning on the
smaller girl. ‘Shit, shit, shit….” The request had seemed like a good
idea whilst it had remained inconspicuously on the tip of Lauren’s
tongue. She’d thought that it would be harmless and innocent,
but it wasn’t. Instead, the invitation for Camila to join her was
more reckless, more explosive and more damaging than if she’d
accidentally thrown a live grenade in to the crowd. ‘Fuck,’ Lauren
cursed again, her eyes never leaving Camila who looked every
inch a deer caught in the proverbial headlights, her eyes wide
with fear and her cheeks burning bright red at the attention she
was receiving. She looked uncomfortable and awkward as she
stood shifting her weight nervously from one leg to the other, her
eyes fixed firmly on the floor at her feet, her embarrassment
obvious to everyone who stood patiently watching her, awaiting a
response. ‘What the fuck were you thinking?’ Lauren chastised
herself, realising that she should have known better than to put
Camila on the spot but unsure what to do in order to rectify the
situation without drawing even more attention to her girlfriend.
“Camila?” Michael prompted, finally breaking the quiet which had
fallen over the room and still continued to stretch on painfully all
the while Lauren’s question remained unanswered. Camila lifted
her hazelnut eyes tentatively in his direction, unable to ignore his
 deep, baritone voice as it echoed over the microphone. She ran a
hand through her hair nervously, her mortification at what was
happening evident for everyone, including Lauren, to see. Lauren
took a step closer to her own microphone at the sight of her
girlfriend’s unease, desperately wishing that there were some way
that she could take her words back and spare Camila this
humiliation. ‘Look at me Camz,’ Lauren silently urged, well aware
that her girlfriend was deliberately avoiding her gaze, her dark
orbs leaving Michael after a few short seconds to dart
selfconsciously around the room in search of an escape and
instead meeting the expectant stares of her peers. Lauren saw
Dinah nudge her friend in the side and Camila turned her
attention to the taller girl, a look of surprise on her face at the
unexpected contact. “Mila,” Dinah said quietly out of the corner
of her mouth, her eyes forward and focused on Lauren who was
watching the interaction interestedly. “Aren’t you going to say
something?” she asked her best friend discreetly. “You can’t just
leave Lauren hanging like this…” Camila studied Dinah with a
wretched expression on her face and she opened and closed her
mouth as if she were about to say something but changed her
mind at the last moment.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 2/11 “Jesus Mila,” Dinah breathed, her eyes
flitting to her friend in realisation when she noticed the
movement in her peripheral vision. “Please tell me that you can
 speak…” she entreated; her tone so low it was barely above a
whisper. “I…” Camila forced out with difficulty and Dinah turned
her whole body round so that she was facing the smaller girl and
blocking her from Lauren’s view. “Shit,” Dinah hissed between
clenched teeth, casting a quick look over her shoulder at the
greeneyed girl and then back at Camila. “Ok…” she said placing
her hands on Camila’s shoulders. “Just…breathe for a minute
Mila….” She advised. “It’ll come back in a second alright? It always
does…just…take a minute to get yourself together.” Camila
glanced around the room, her brain astutely aware that she was
very much the centre of attention and unable to ignore that fact
for even one second. “Mila, look at me,” Dinah prompted quietly
as she shook Camila’s shoulders in her grasp, her best friends eyes
snapping back to meet her own at the jolt. “Ignore them.”
“I…c…c…” Camila tried to respond, her eyes flitting back out at the
numerous faces still turned in her direction. “Mila….” Dinah
started, but her sentence was cut short by Lauren who had
decided to speak up at last. “Camz,” she pleaded; her voice soft
and imploring. She was anxious for Camila to say something, the
hushed chatter that had started to fill the room at her prolonged
lack of response becoming almost unbearable. Dinah looked
between Lauren and Camila nervously; realising that neither of
them could win, no matter what happened next. As though
coming to the same conclusion, Camila stepped out from behind
Dinah, the Polynesian releasing her from her hold without a fight
 and moving to stand beside her again. Camila sighed audibly and
finally lifted her eyes to meet Lauren’s, the brunette’s stomach,
which was already churning violently, roiling over in response to
the distressed look on the smaller girls’ face so that she felt
physically sick. “Jesus,” David shouted from the far side of the
dance floor where he was sat at a table with his friends,
annoyance and impatience laced with his words. “Come the fuck
on CaCaCabello!” he called, his tone mocking. “Let’s hear it
already! I could use a good laugh!” His voice was easily heard in
the quiet confines of the small room and Lauren winced at his
contribution to the whole fiasco, knowing that it’s only purpose
was to embarrass Camila further and remind everyone of her
girlfriend’s previous difficulties at school. “Why don’t you just
shut the fuck up David!” Rachel told him angrily, her voice just as
audible as it came to Camila’s defence. She hit him forcefully on
the arm from where she sat and he cried out loudly in pain.
“You’re such a fucking asshole.” She stated simply, her volume
not adjusted, the whole room able to hear her insult. “You can
talk,” he responded furiously and Rachel proceeded to shove him
hard in the chest before standing up and walking away from her
group. “Don’t listen to him Camila,” Rachel said from her new
position on the edge of the dance floor, her eyes finding the other
girl in the crowd of people before her. “He’s a shit singer. You
could mime and still be better than him.” The rest of the students
in the room laughed at the blonde’s comment and Lauren gave
 Rachel an appreciative look, grateful for her unexpected support.
Lauren had known that Camila wasn’t going to join her on stage
since the moment she’d made the request, but she understood
now that there was only thing that she could do to detract
attention from her girlfriend and attempt to salvage whatever
was left of their now questionable relationship. “You know what,”
Lauren said, speaking clearly in to the microphone, her heart
lurching in her chest viciously at the tormented expression Camila
wore as a result of David’s jibe, her fingertips effortlessly
strumming at the guitar which still hung loosely over her shoulder.
“I’m just going to sing something else instead…” she informed
them, her voice trailing off as she quickly glanced down at her left
hand which was wrapped around the instrument’s neck.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 3/11 She quickly picked at a couple of the
strings to check that the guitar was still in tune and tightened
them where necessary, buying herself some extra time to think of
another song. When she’d finally settled on one, Lauren began to
move her hand up and down in the necessary strumming pattern,
her left hand forming the chords easily so that music now filled
the room once more. Lauren lifted her gaze back to Camila and
was about to start singing when she noticed her girlfriend
suddenly turn, her small form pushing a path through the crowd
of students as she made her way towards the exit. She saw
Dinah’s hand rush out in an attempt to stop her, but she was too
 slow, Camila already halfway across the room before the
Polynesian girl had even had a chance to react. “Camz!” Lauren
called after her, stopping what she was doing abruptly and
hurriedly lifting the guitar strap up over her head. “Shit!” she
cursed, watching as Camila made it to the door and swiftly
disappeared outside, everyone in the room gawping after her,
enjoying the spectacle of the scene as it happened. Lauren
abandoned the guitar on the stage floor and hurriedly made her
way off the platform, horrified by her own stupidity. She vaguely
heard Michael say something in to the microphone behind her as
she followed in Camila’s footsteps, but her mind was elsewhere,
her despair at upsetting her girlfriend preoccupying every thought
so that she barely even registered his words. Seconds later, she
heard the band erupt in to song again, the noise a more than
welcome reprieve for Lauren, who was acutely aware of the soft
whisperings of the other students in the room as she trailed a
path to the door. “Camz!” Lauren shouted desperately as she
emerged outside into the fresh air, the sky now dark and the stars
that had been the topic of their conversation earlier in the
evening sparkling tauntingly above her. “Shit!” she swore, the
profanity slipping off her tongue easily in the frustration she felt
towards herself. “Camz!” she yelled again, reaching a hand up to
rest on the top of her head as she spun around on the spot in
search of her girlfriend, unable to see her anywhere. She took a
few hesitant steps forward before turning around again and
glancing back at the building, wondering where Camila could have
gone. “Fuck,” she muttered, agitated. “Camz!” she called again,
turning back around so that she was looking out on the expanse
of gardens at the front of the venue. Lauren narrowed her eyes,
squinting in to the dark and carefully made her way forward, wary
of her footing. “Camz are you out here?” Lauren asked,
descending down a few steps in to a small courtyard. “Can you
please say something?” She said as she wandered across the
gravel, her eyes scanning the area searchingly for any sign of her
girlfriend. “You’re scaring me…” Lauren had just turned around to
look back in the direction that she’d come from when she heard
Camila’s small voice say, ‘Sorry,’ from behind her. “You’re sorry?”
Lauren asked surprised as she spun back around, her eyes still
struggling to make out her girlfriend in the dimly lit area. “Yes,”
Camila said and Lauren made a face at her inability to see her.
“Ok, where the fuck are you?” she questioned puzzled, her head
looking in what she assumed was the direction Camila’s voice had
sounded from but her eyes still unable to find the smaller girl.
“Here,” she replied and Lauren jumped in fright when Camila
suddenly appeared on her right hand side, seemingly out of
nowhere. “Jesus Christ!” Lauren said, jumping back as her hand
found its way up to her chest, her heart pounding furiously
against her rib cage. “Don’t fucking do that!” She reprimanded,
her shock sounding more like anger than she’d intended it to.
“Sorry,” Camila said again and Lauren flinched internally at the
dejection in her girlfriend’s voice. “Please don’t apologise to me,”
Lauren told her. “I’m a fucking idiot Camz. God…” She groaned.
“Ifucked up,” she admitted. “I made a huge fucking mistake and
I’m sorry ok?” she apologised. “I wasn’t thinking…” she trailed off,
anticipating some kind of response but not receiving any. “I don’t
blame you for being mad at me,” Lauren told her, “I should have
known better than to put you on the spot like that but I forgot
myself and
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 4/11 where we were…” she went on. “I was
just…I just…I don’t know…” she stumbled in attempted
explanation. Lauren felt completely flustered under the weight of
Camila’s silent scrutiny, her words failing to form a coherent
sentence. “Fucking hell,” she reprimanded herself angrily,
stepping closer to Camila, her hand reaching out for the smaller
girl’s shoulder. “Just, can you tell me what I can do to fix it?
Please?” Lauren beseeched of her and Camila dropped her gaze to
her feet, her hand rubbing at her temple thoughtfully. “Nothing,”
Camila replied after consideration, lifting her eyes to Lauren’s
again. “Nothing? So that’s it?” Lauren asked, her voice cracking
slightly as she wondered at Camila’s meaning. “I ruined it?” she
questioned distraught, her eyes stinging. “I ruined us?” “Us?”
Camila returned, confused. “No,” she said, a frown appearing on
her face. “Camz please talk to me,” Lauren entreated. “I mean, I
get it ok? You’re fucking angry with me and you don’t want to, but
you’re killing me here…” “Lauren,” Camila said cutting her off, her
turn to take a step towards her girlfriend when she realised that
she didn’t understand that her limited response wasn’t due to
anger but ability. “Look, I know that what I did was horrible and
embarrassing and…and…just…I don’t know…a mistake of fucking
epic proportions alright?” Lauren continued, before Camila could
get her brain and her mouth to work together in unison. “I fucking
know that. Trust me, I will probably remember how I ruined this
evening and our relationship for the rest of my life but…”
“Lauren,” Camila tried to intercede but Lauren steamrolled on
with her train of thought undisturbed. “…I don’t want to lose you
because of this.” She told her simply. “I fucking love you Camz and
we’ve been so happy recently.” She said, her words coming out in
one quick breath now that she’d found some fluidity again. “I
mean, everything’s been going so great for us. You’re
like…you’re…you’re doing so well now…” she tripped, praising the
smaller girl. “I don’t know…” she went on uncertainly. “Maybe I
should have known that something was going to come along and
mess everything up…everything was too perfect…and…nothing is
ever perfect…not for us…I just… something had to come along at
some point right? I just never thought that it’d be me…I thought
it’d be the trial or something…” “Lauren,” Camila strived once
more, taking another step towards the taller girl. “I mean, the trial
is next month Camz,” Lauren persisted in her ramblings
apparently not hearing her girlfriend. “I know that it’s a big deal
 and everything…its massive….and it’ll be hard…I mean, you’re
going to have to go through what happened to you again and not
just in front of me and your parents, but the driver and a load of
strangers too…” Camila shook her head gently from side to side
and rolled her eyes, tossing the purse she held in her right hand at
her feet as Lauren continued speaking. “Hey!” Camila shouted
feeling irritated by Lauren’s incessant talking. She clapped her
hands together in front of Lauren’s face in an attempt to silence
her, some of the impact lost when they failed to make complete
contact, her coordination poor. “Stop…! Talking…!” Camila
instructed, her words coming forcefully but slow in comparison to
normal. “Ok,” Lauren said, snapping her head back away from
Camila’s hands and shutting her mouth tightly midsentence,
startled by the smaller girl’s tone. “Thank…you!” Camila said
gratefully, sighing loudly and releasing a calming breath through
pursed lips whilst Lauren waited.
“You…really…are…a…f…f…fucking….idiot.” Camila said tenderly,
referring back to Lauren’s own comment from earlier. There was
no malice in her voice as she’d said it, but Lauren could sense her
girlfriend’s annoyance and her mouth dropped open, a look of
understanding appearing on her face at last.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 5/11 “Oh,” she responded, the penny finally
dropping. “Yeah…” Camila said, rubbing her temple again. “Oh…”
“Your can’t speak.” Lauren noted at last and Camila nodded,
 dropping her hand to rest by her side. “That’s why you’re not
really saying anything.” Lauren let out a deep breath at that
knowledge, feeling hopeful. “Can I do anything to help?” Lauren
asked, reaching over and picking Camila’s hand up in her own.
“Yeah,” Camila replied. “Shut. Up.” She instructed with difficulty.
“Did you just…” Lauren started, chuckling softly at her girlfriend’s
bluntness but Camila stopped her short by lifting her hand and
placing her index finger over her girlfriend’s mouth. “S…s…stop.”
She stuttered; a broad grin etched on her face at her girlfriend’s
inability to remain silent. Lauren opened her mouth as if to speak
again but Camila pressed her finger more firmly against her lips.
“Aa…ahh,” Camila said firmly, one eyebrow rising slightly.
“Camz…” Lauren started desperate to make things right between
them but Camila cut her off quickly. “Ah…ah,” she repeated
shaking her head. “No.” Camila lowered her hand and pretended
to pull a zip across her own mouth, silently instructing Lauren to
keep quiet. “One. Minute.” She said, holding up her index finger
for emphasis again. Lauren nodded her head finally relenting and
she watched wordlessly as the smaller girl closed her eyes and
took a number of deep, calming breaths. Camila released them
slowly, each one escaping her lips as though she were reluctant to
let them go, as though this were some form of wellrehearsed
meditation that she carried out daily. “You’re a f…f…fucking idiot,”
Camila said eventually, opening her eyes when a few minutes had
passed undisturbed. She met Lauren’s inquisitive gaze with an
affectionate look on her face, her words powerful but lacking any
hint of cruelty. “I know,” Lauren exhaled noisily, squeezing
Camila’s hand, the words tumbling out of her mouth urgently now
that she’d been given the opportunity to talk again. “I know I am.
I’m sorry…” “No,” Camila said interrupting her, “you’re a
f…f…fucking…idiot.” She repeated, accentuating the last word and
stepping forward to close the distance between them. She
loosened her hand from Lauren’s and wrapped her arms around
the taller girl’s waist so that they were resting against the small of
her back. “Yeah…” Lauren responded confused by Camila’s
behaviour. “I know…” Camila pressed their hips together and
tilted her face up towards Lauren, who looked perplexed by her
girlfriend’s affection considering the circumstances. “You didn’t
r…r…ruin…us.” Camila reassured her as if sensing Lauren’s
bewilderment. “I didn’t?” she questioned, her face betraying her
surprise. “No…you didn’t. Not us…any way.” Camila replied
shaking her head and Lauren’s features relaxed visibly at the
words. “Prom is p…p…pretty much…f…f…fucked… though…” she
said, her tone light. “God, I know…what the hell was I thinking?”
She reprimanded herself, all the tension and unease she’d been
holding in disappearing at Camila’s joviality. “I should never have
gotten up on that stage. Jesus,” she breathed. “Dinah even tried
to warn me against it but I didn’t listen to her and now you’re
mad at me…” “Hey,” Camila said, leaning back to purposefully
meet Lauren’s eyes, her voice strong and resolute, determined to
 get her point across. “I’m not m…m…mad at…you.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 6/11 “You’re not?” Lauren questioned.
“No,” Camila responded. “Really?” Lauren asked, not quite willing
to believe her ears. Camila inched closer to Lauren again and
brought their lips together, her body melting in to the taller girls
as she tightened her hold around her waist, determined to
adequately express the truth of her words in the absence of her
normal speech. “You…were…amazing,” Camila informed Lauren, a
bright smile on her face as she leant back to meet her piercing
green eyes once they’d separated. “I was?” Lauren enquired, her
hands finding Camila’s shoulders and rubbing them soothingly.
“Yes.” Camila told her honestly, one hand reaching up and
stroking her temple fondly for a second. “Iloved…it.” Lauren
beamed at Camila’s admission and she laughed with
overwhelming relief, the soft chuckle escaping her lips
unconsciously. “You’re not just saying that?” she pressed, still a
little reluctant to believe Camila’s words. “No,
you’re…s…s…so…talented.” Camila shared with her. “It
was…beautiful. I could… listen to you…s…s…sing…all…night.”
“Then why did you leave?” Lauren asked her confused by Camila’s
sudden exit. “I was going to sing something else. You wouldn’t
have had to come up…” “I was…embarrassed.” Camila replied
simply. “Everyone was…looking…at…me and I… panicked…” she
explained. “Then…my speech…it…” she tried, groaning indignantly
 at the effort required to articulate herself. “It’s so
f…f…fucking…annoying…I…f…f… fucking…hate…it.” “I put you on
the spot,” Lauren acknowledged apologetically. “Yes,” Camila
agreed fervently, nodding her head, a smile on her own face as
she tightened her hold on Lauren’s torso. “You…did.” She said.
“I…didn’t mind…the… song…” Camila confessed to her.
“You’d…not…said my name and…people…were…too
busy…watching you and dancing…to really…look…at me.” “I
stressed you out didn’t I?” Lauren asked her. “That’s why your
speech went wasn’t it? I went too far by asking you to come up
and join me? It drew too much attention to you…” “It’s ok,”
Camila reassured her, not directly answering the question but
saying enough so that Lauren understood that she was correct. “I
knew it,” Lauren shared with her, resting her forehead against
Camila’s and closing her eyes momentarily. “I fucking knew it.”
She repeated, sighing heavily and lifting her head again to look at
her once more. “As soon as I asked you and saw the look on your
face I realised that it was a mistake…I just…I couldn’t help myself.
You’ve been practicing so much and I know you can play…I’ve
heard you. Ijust…Ithought it would be nice to finally be able to
sing with you,” she admitted. “Ithought we could sing our song,
you know…together. You sang it so beautifully to me before and I
guess I just wanted everyone else to see how amazing you are,”
she disclosed. “I wanted them to see you the same way that I do
but it was too soon,” Lauren recognised. “You’re not ready for
 that yet. You need longer before you feel confident enough…”
“No,” Camila responded, interrupting Lauren and frowning at her
girlfriend’s observation. She released Lauren from her grasp. “It’s
not…that.” “It isn’t?” Lauren questioned. “So you would have
come up if your speech had been alright?” “No,” Camila said.
“I…wouldn’t have.” “I don’t understand.” Lauren admitted. “You
just said…” “Lauren…that’s not me,” Camila interceded. “I would
never…do…something like…that. I don’t…sing…in public.
Itold…you…remember?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 7/11 “I know you did,” Lauren conceded,
“but I thought that it was because of your speech and everything.
Ithought that you might consider it now that you’re better…”
Camila scrunched up her face thoughtfully, realising that despite
all the time they’d spent together, all the times that they’d
spoken since they’d started dating; Lauren only really understood
Camila’s insecurities, her personality traits, in relation to the
accident, like a lot of them were just some consequence that had
occurred as a result of it. She often forgot that a lot of them
existed even before the accident, that they were an inherent part
of who Camila was deep at heart. Lauren knew that Camila was
reserved and shy except around her close friends, she knew that
she was a selfconfessed introvert, that she enjoyed being left
alone in her room to read a book or write about her feelings in
her journal. She knew that Camila was thoughtful and reflective,
 that being alone was how she reenergised, that she sometimes
found social interaction and being around other people draining.
Lauren knew all these things about Camila but what she often
forgot or failed to recognise sometimes was that her girlfriend
had always been that way, that her introversion wasn’t a
symptom of her accident but a tangible part of her, as ingrained
and innate as any of the cells that made up her physical
composition. The fact of the matter was that before her head
injury, Camila would never have even considered singing in front
of half the school, she was too shy, too fearful and unconfident. In
fact, when Dinah had suggested she perform at the school talent
contest during their sophomore year Camila had actually told her
that she’d rather die than subject herself to that humiliation.
‘Careful what you wish for,’ Camila thought to herself, not
impressed with the universes sense of irony. Camila would be
lying if she said that her introversion and her selfconfidence
hadn’t been impacted by the accident, because it had. It had
forced her to retreat in to herself even further so that she avoided
socialising with anyone other than Dinah and her family, her
embarrassment at her speech, at her cognitive impairments and
her physical appearance making her even more introverted than
she already had been prior to the accident. Camila had become
more thoughtful, more brooding and more reflective to an even
higher extreme and all those private introspections that she’d
enjoyed so much before had become tainted when she could no
 longer enjoy the things that she used to be able to because her
physical abilities were so profoundly impaired. All her quiet
contemplations that she’d once found revitalising had
transformed in to something toxic, something that instead of
invigorating her, chipped away relentlessly at her soul until there
was very little of it left, until she was incapable of finding
enjoyment in anything at all, until she had started to dread being
left by herself with just her thoughts for company, the pit of
depression it had descended her in to even more disabling than
any of the other injuries she’d suffered as a result of the accident.
Following rehabilitation, Camila had once again rediscovered the
joy that she used to get as a result of that particular part of herself
and now she relished her solitude again the way that she used to
do before the accident twisted it into something noxious and
destructive. Camila ultimately couldn’t deny that Lauren knew a
lot about her; she probably knew more about her than anyone
else, after all, Camila shared everything with her girlfriend. She
shared her likes and dislikes, her hobbies, her talents, her hopes
and fears, her deepest regrets and biggest aspirations. She
probably knew more about her now than anyone else in her life;
after all, Camila shared everything with her. Lauren knew all there
was to know about her but sometimes Camila couldn’t help but
think that sometimes her girlfriend struggled to distinguish the
difference between the parts of her personality that developed as
a result of the accident and those that existed before it. She
 couldn’t blame Lauren for that; after all, they’d barely even
spoken before the start of this school year, however, Camila
couldn’t help but wonder just how much more Lauren expected
her to recover. The gains Camila had made in the initial stages of
her recovery had been enormous, but they’d plateaued over the
last few months to the point that she now considered herself to
be at a unlikely to make any more particularly noticeable or
obvious changes. As far as Camila was concerned she’d reached
the limits of her potential for improvement and was now almost,
if not completely recovered from her accident within her body’s
ability to heal. “Lauren,” Camila started, taking a step closer to her
girlfriend again. “Do you… remember me before the…accident?”
she asked her tentatively, not quite sure how to broach the
subject with her properly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 8/11 “No Camz, I didn’t really know you
then,” Lauren reminded her. “We only spoke that one time that I
told you about, the time in the library with Ally. You were really
shy…” she trailed off perceptively, her intellect as always sharp,
especially when it came to her girlfriend. “Some
things…won’t…change Lauren.” Camila said significantly. “Some
things…are just…me. They’re…not because of…the…accident.”
“I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised again. “I suppose I just assumed
that the reason you wouldn’t have wanted to sing with me was
because of your speech and things. I hadn’t considered it might
 just be because that’s not something you’ve ever been
comfortable with the idea of doing. When we talked about you
potentially singing with me for my crush at the school’s Christmas
show, you know, back when you didn’t know it was you, I thought
the reason you said you’d never be able to do it was because you
didn’t think you’d ever recover enough to,” she explained. “I
didn’t even think that it might have been because of something
else, that perhaps you’d said it because you didn’t like performing
in front of others or something.” She admitted. She paused for a
minute to consider the implications of her words before she
continued. “The accident has been such a big part of our
relationship and has had such a large impact on your life that I
guess I can sometimes forget that there was a version of you that
existed before it,” Lauren said, stroking the soft flesh at the top of
Camila’s arm with her hand delicately. “I admit that perhaps I find
it hard to separate you from the accident in my head but I think
it’s because I’ve only ever known you since it happened.” She
divulged, her hand making its way down Camila’s arm to find her
hand and take it. “I neglect to consider that maybe, just maybe,
not everything you think and feel is directly linked to it, that
perhaps your reactions to situations aren’t just as a result of your
head injury.” Lauren squeezed Camila’s hand firmly in her own
before linking their fingers together. “I’m sorry,” she apologised
sincerely. “I guess that sometimes even I define you by the
accident and I shouldn’t because you’re so much more than that
 Camz.” “It’s…not your…fault.” Camila told her sympathetically,
swinging their joined hands between them unconsciously. “You
don’t think so?” Lauren asked and Camila shook her head, a small
smile curving one corner of her mouth up in to a playful smile that
made the greeneyed girl return the gesture. “No,” Camila
answered, knowing that Lauren was one of the first people that
wasn’t her family or Dinah that really saw the person beneath her
disabilities, to see the ghost of the girl that she used to be, even if
she didn’t really know her because they’d never met. “It’s mine.”
Lauren tilted her head slightly in response to her girlfriend’s
words and knitted her eyebrows together, looking both amused
and mystified by them at the same time. “Do you want…to
finally…meet…her?” Camila asked, tugging on Lauren’s hand
gently. “Who?” Lauren asked her puzzled. “Camila,” she replied
and Lauren felt her heart skip in her chest and her stomach flutter
excitedly at the way her girlfriend had said her own name with
pride, like she was going to share someone special and cherished
with her, someone she treasured and valued immensely. “She’s
here?” Lauren questioned, fighting with difficulty to prevent the
tears that were threatening the corners of her eyes, a sudden
sense of overwhelming happiness flooding her at Camila’s
intimation. “She’s here.” Camila agreed and Lauren released what
could only be described as both a sob and a laugh in response to
the admission. “Really?” Lauren she asked; her voice thick with
emotion. “Yeah,” Camila confirmed. “I think…she’s been here
for…a while…now. I just hadn’t… realised…” ‘I’m lost Lauren…I’ve
gone…Camila…she’s gone…she’s fucking gone and I hate myself
now…I hate this person…she’s not me…she’s not.’
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 9/11 “She’s not lost any more?” Lauren
queried, remembering Camila’s words from the video that she’d
sent her from rehabilitation and needing to hear her girlfriend say
the words explicitly. “She’s not gone?” “No…” Camila said sighing,
the admission a surprise to herself as well as Lauren. “I’ve found
her again.” “You did?” Lauren asked, her tears running freely
down her flushed cheeks now. “Yes, I did.” Camila replied; her
speech easier now. “Do you…want to meet her?” she repeated.
“Of course,” Lauren answered, chuckling softly at her girlfriend’s
antics. “I’ll…take you…to her.” Camila informed her, crouching
down to pick up her purse from where it remained on the floor.
She stood back up and turned on her heels to walk back in the
direction of the building, pulling lightly on Lauren’s hand so that
she would follow. “Wait,” Lauren said, stopping in her tracks and
causing Camila to turn back and face her. “Where exactly is she?”
the greeneyed girl asked. “She’s right here,” Camila responded
simply, smiling. “I’m her.” “So then where are you taking me?”
Lauren inquired and a mischievous look appeared on Camila’s
face at the question. “She…doesn’t go to school dances,” Camila
replied. “Well then, where does she go?” Lauren asked playing
along. “The beach of course,” Camila answered and Lauren kicked
 herself for not having guessed that. “We’re going to the beach
again?” “No.” Camila replied seriously. “We’re…going there for
the first time.” “She’ll be there?” Lauren pressed, uncertain what
Camila had planned. “Yes,” Camila answered. “She wants to tell
you a story.” “What kind of a story?” Lauren asked and Camila
smiled again. “The best kind.” She responded stepping closer to
Lauren. “A love story?” Lauren probed, lifting an eyebrow. “No,”
Camila said, stretching up to plant a delicate kiss on Lauren’s lips.
“The prequel.” She stepped back, her hazelnut eyes fixed on
Lauren’s emerald ones. “A biography?” Lauren questioned and
Camila nodded. “Do you want to hear it?” Camila asked her,
uncertainly. “I want to hear all her stories,” Lauren reassured her.
“I have a feeling that they’re the best there are. I have it on good
authority that she’s a brilliant with words…” “Let’s find out,”
Camila said turning around again to head back up towards the
venue again. “Wait,” Lauren said again, stopping her once more.
“There’s just one thing I want to say before we go…” “What?”
Camila asked tentatively. “It’s nice to finally meet you Camila,”
Lauren said bringing her mouth against her girlfriend’s once again,
her soft lips pressing into Camila’s firmly and lingering there
happily. Lauren ran her hand through Camila’s hair, her fingertips
brushing over the scar hidden beneath it as she parted their
mouths. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you.”
Lauren added, leaning her body against her girlfriends’ and kissing
her lightly on the temple. “I’ve wanted to meet you since the first
 moment that I saw you.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/82594254140/trialsand-
tribulationschapter76 10/11 “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”
Camila said, her words flowing easily and unencumbered. Lauren
kissed her on the temple once more, her arms enveloping Camila
in a warm embrace which the smaller girl quickly reciprocated as
Lauren mumbled, “I would have waited for you forever,” against
her skin.
Chapter 77
Camila tilted her head up and connected her mouth with Lauren’s
in a silent acknowledgement of her words, her soft lips pressing
gently against the flesh of her girlfriend’s in a delicate kiss. Lauren
tightened her hold around Camila’s frame in response, pulling the
smaller girl in to her further so that their hips were pressed
together, the contours of each other’s torsos moulding to one
another as though they were two adjoining pieces of a puzzle.
Camila’s right hand moved up to the back of Lauren’s neck as she
deepened the kiss, her tongue finding the familiar depths of the
taller girl’s mouth, her small fingers entangling themselves in the
hair at Lauren’s nape. She twisted the silky strands around her
fingertips deliberately and the gesture sent a shiver down
Lauren’s spine, making her skin tingle with pleasure as Camila’
digits unintentionally swept across it. Lauren’s breath caught in
the back of her throat as Camila’s left hand grazed a nimble path
up her right arm to settle on her shoulder, the faint touch more
 than enough to make her skin burn in its wake despite how brief
the contact had been. Camila lifted it quickly to cup Lauren’s
cheek, her thumb stroking her girlfriend’s features soothingly as
she leant in to the embrace further, her whole body pressing in to
the taller girl so firmly and deliberately that Lauren had to take a
step backwards in order to keep her balance. Lauren felt the small
smile that formed on Camila’s lips in response to her sudden
movement and the taste of it made the muscles of her own
mouth twitch until it’d unconsciously curved up similarly. Camila’s
left hand moved around to join the right hand which was still
playing with the hair at the back of Lauren’s neck and she sucked
lightly on Lauren’s lower lip as she leant back and out of the kiss,
separating their mouths reluctantly, her hazelnut eyes seeking out
Lauren’s green ones almost instantly. “Ilove you,” Camila told
Lauren, her features warm and affectionate. The fingertips of her
right hand moved to brush Lauren’s brow tenderly as she said it,
her deep chocolate eyes unmoving as they continued to examine
the piercing green of her girlfriend’s intently. “You’ve only just
met me,” Lauren joked trying to make light of the situation, the
weight of Camila’s words, of the sincerity with which she spoke
them making her blush profusely when combined with the
intensity of her stare. Camila’s smile grew wide at Lauren’s
comment and she glanced down at the floor between them,
finally breaking eye contact. “Maybe in this life,” Camila
responded bashfully, her voice quiet and timid. “Oh, you’re good,”
 Lauren chuckled, her heart fluttering involuntarily at Camila’s
quiet insinuation, the subtle reference to them being soul mates
not lost on her. Camila’s eyes wandered Lauren’s body in an
attempt to avoid her gaze and came to a stop on her girlfriend’s
left shoulder where one of her emerald dress straps was twisted.
She reached forward and used both her hands to straighten it
back out again, her fingertips tracing the curves of both Lauren’s
shoulders delicately when she’d finished, her brow furrowed in
concentration whilst she scrutinised her handiwork. Lauren
cupped Camila’s face with her hands and carefully lifted the
smaller girls’ chin so that she’d meet her eyes once more.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 2/11 “Look at me Camz.” Lauren instructed
Camila gently, the smaller girl having closed her eyes still
obviously feeling selfconscious about what she’d said. Camila
shook her head and scrunched her eyes closed tighter as she
placed the palm of her right hand lightly against Lauren’s chest in
an attempt to keep her at arm’s length. “Don’t be embarrassed,”
Lauren reassured her. “It’s just me here Camz. It’s just us.” Camila
tried to lower her head again but Lauren held it firm in place,
preventing her from completing the movement. “Babe,” Lauren
urged Camila, her tone soft and encouraging. “Open your eyes.” “I
can’t,” Camila said, prying open just her right and squinting
through it at Lauren. “Why not?” Lauren asked, the smile on her
lips at Camila’s uncharacteristic coyness making her face ache. “I
think that maybe that was a bit much,” Camila confessed, making
a face which told Lauren that she was less than impressed with
what she’d said. “Do I always say things like that?” “Yes,” Lauren
said, unable to prevent her smile from growing even wider at
Camila’s newfound discomfort. “It’s one of the things that Ilove
most about you.” “It doesn’t make you cringe?” Camila asked
finally opening both her eyes to look at the taller girl. “Quite the
opposite,” Lauren assured her, shaking her head. “You make me
feel like one of the characters in those books that you enjoy
reading so much, like I’m the centre of someone’s whole entire
universe, like I’m special, like I’m worthy of you wasting a hundred
beautiful words on. You make me feel like someone Camz. I could
achieve nothing else in my life from this moment on and I’d still
feel like the most successful person in existence because out of
everyone alive at this very moment in time, I was the only one
lucky enough to make you fall in love with them.” She wrapped
her arms back around Camila’s waist and pulled her into her body
powerfully, connecting their lips together again in a kiss which left
no room for any further doubt on her opinion regarding the
matter. “Did that make you cringe?” Lauren questioned,
relinquishing Camila’s mouth but placing another delicate kiss
over her scar. “No,” Camila answered truthfully. “Quite the
opposite,” she added mimicking Lauren’s tone from moments
ago. One corner of Lauren’s mouth turned up into a smirk and
Camila stepped back out of Lauren’s arms slightly. “Come with
 me,” Camila said simply. Her tone was undemanding and easy,
more of a question than a command, but when she held out her
right hand for Lauren to take, she was powerless to refuse it.
“Anywhere,” Lauren answered, all playfulness gone as she placed
her hand in Camila’s open and waiting one. “Lead the way.”
Camila closed her fingers around Lauren’s hand and turned on the
spot, pulling on her girlfriend’s arm gently as she led them back
up the steps in the direction of the building where the dance was
still currently underway. They could hear the distant sound of
music as it escaped in to the night around them, the deep bass
accosting their ears almost as soon as they’d emerged from their
private sanctuary along with the sound of Dinah’s worried voice.
“Mila!” Dinah called, evidently relieved at apparently having
located her friend. “Where the hell have you been?” she asked,
making her way over to the smaller girl, closing the distance
between the two of them hurriedly. Camila paused in her tracks
and turned to watch as Lauren moved out from behind her and in
to view. “Oh,” Dinah said, finally noticing Lauren was with her.
She glanced down at Camila and Lauren’s entwined hands and
smiled to herself. “I see…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 3/11 “Jesus Dinah,” Lauren returned from
her position beside Camila, shaking her head at the obvious leap
Dinah’s brain had made, “seriously?” “What?” Dinah asked
shrugging unapologetically. “For all I know that’s how you two
 make up after a fight…” “Ok firstly, we didn’t have a fight…”
Lauren protested and Dinah lifted an eyebrow disbelievingly.
“Yeah, ok.” Dinah cut her off, scoffing loudly, evidently not buying
it. “We didn’t,” Camila supported, casting a brief look in Lauren’s
direction before turning her attention to Dinah. “Hey! Your
speech is back!” Dinah said happily, holding out her arms to either
side dramatically on hearing Camila’s input in to the conversation.
“No shit,” Camila responded blithely, shaking her head at Dinah’s
need to state the obvious. “That was quick,” she said winking at
her best friend. “Are you seriously going to try and tell me that
you and Lauren didn’t…you know…” she suggested evasively,
appearing amused with herself. “Oh my God,” Lauren grumbled,
rolling her eyes just as Camila spoke. “Dinah…” she warned and
the Polynesian girl grinned broadly. “You know I’m only messing
with you both,” she said, placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder. “I
was actually really worried about you.” She told the smaller girl. “I
thought for sure that I’d come out to find my hopes of a Camren
wedding destroyed. You two fucking idiots are as bad as each
other. I mean, seriously Lauren…what the hell were you thinking
asking Mila up on stage to sing? If you’d told me that’s what you
were planning I would never have let you get up there. That’s one
sure fire way to seriously scare the shit out of her…” “Well, I know
that now,” Lauren said, her words barely acknowledged, Dinah
ploughing on ahead undeterred. “Once I even tried to get her to
enter the school talent competition but she point blank refused. I
think her actual words were, “I’d rather die than subject myself to
that.” Dinah shared. “Then you,” Dinah continued, addressing
Camila again, squeezing her shoulder firmly in her grasp. “You just
up and leave when Lauren is at her most vulnerable? I mean, she
just performed a freaking love song for you and what do you do?
You run off and leave her well and truly hanging. Great way to
make a scene dumbass!” she laughed. “I thought the idea was to
try not to draw even more attention to the situation and yourself
but, what can I say, you failed there…” “Alright,” Camila said,
cutting her off. “We get it ok. We’re stupid. Can we move on
already?” “You know that we’ve all been out here looking for the
two of you?” Dinah went on responding to Camila’s prompt and
changing the subject slightly. “Well you obviously weren’t looking
very hard,” Camila returned emphatically, pointing over her
shoulder with her thumb. “We were only down there. It’s not like
we’d hopped a plane to Paris or something.” “It’s not my fault
that I couldn’t find you.” Dinah complained grumpily. “I tried
following the sound of arguing but I just ended up coming across
Lindsey Martin shouting at Carly Greene behind the fencing over
there. Apparently Carly slept with Lindsey’s boyfriend or
something…at least, that’s what it sounded like she was
screaming…anyway, you have no idea how awkward that was to
walk in on,” she mused thoughtfully, getting slightly sidetracked.
She shook her head for a moment in realisation that she’d strayed
from the topic of conversation before continuing. “Where was I?
Oh yeah, so after I’d backed away from that drama I remembered
that you couldn’t speak,” she said to Camila, “and that you,” she
continued, turning to face Lauren, “would never even consider
shouting at her for leaving because you’d probably feel so guilty
about everything that happened, so I just stood around by the
door like a moron hoping that you’d come back. I mean, honestly
guys, you could at least pretend to fight like a normal couple for
me…” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trials-
andtribulationschapter77 4/11 “We fight like a normal couple,”
Lauren said offended. “I’ve never seen you two fight over
anything.” Dinah shared honestly. “What about when Camz went
to rehab?” Lauren asked her. “You didn’t talk for six weeks,”
Dinah reminded her. “It’s not like you had a massive argument or
anything. Mila just stopped talking to you and let’s be honest here
Lauren, part of that was because she probably couldn’t speak for
the first week she was there anyway…” “Dinah,” Camila
interjected, stepping forward and clamping her hand over her
friend’s mouth forcefully. “Can you please shut up for one
minute?” Dinah mumbled something incomprehensible against
the palm of Camila’s hand but nodded her head in agreement.
“We’re leaving,” Camila disclosed, removing her hand from its
previous position when she was satisfied that the taller girl had
ceased with her rambling. “Leaving?” Dinah asked; her voice
small. “Yes,” Camila confirmed. “You can’t leave!” Dinah
protested. “Don’t let those fucking people in there stop you from
 having a good time ok? Just ignore them if they say anything to
you…” “We’ll see you later Dinah,” Camila said dismissively, her
mind already made up. “You’ll see me….” Dinah started but
Camila wasn’t listening, the smaller girl instead pulling gently on
Lauren’s hand and leading her away from the main building
towards where the limousine was parked, awaiting their return.
“Wait a minute,” Dinah exhaled, stepping quickly round in front of
Camila and blocking her path. “Where are you going?” “Where do
you think I’m going?” Camila asked ambiguously. “How the fuck
should I know?” Dinah replied lifting up her hands in front of her
dismayed at the idea of Camila and Lauren leaving prom early
because of some unwanted attention. “It’s prom.” Camila told her
plainly. “No shit,” Dinah said mimicking Camila’s earlier words
with such precision that Lauren almost managed to convince
herself that it had been her girlfriend that had said it. “So it’s
prom. So what? What does that even mean?” “Think about it.”
Camila instructed and Dinah did, her forehead wrinkling for a
mere instant before her features finally evolved in to a look of
pure surprise, realisation finally dawning on her. “Are you going to
the beach?” Dinah asked astonished and Lauren, whose attention
had been darting between the two of them, saw Camila nod her
head. “Yes,” she answered. “So you’re going to the beach or the
beach?” she questioned, looking for clarification. “The beach,”
Camila answered. “Where else would I go when there’s a school
dance?” “Wow,” Dinah said, letting out a long slow breath, as
 though this confession was something momentous. “Ok…” “Ok,
calm down Dinah,” Lauren laughed. “It’s not like me and Camz
have never been to the beach before…” “No you don’t under…”
Dinah started but she stopped abruptly when she saw the slight
shake of Camila’s head silently urging her to stop. “What?” Lauren
asked, not having seen the gesture and confused at Dinah’s
sudden cessation. “Nothing,” Dinah said, screwing up her face,
aware that she’d piqued Lauren’s interest and couldn’t easily back
pedal. She narrowed her eyes and took a step nearer to Camila,
staring in to the smaller girl’s eyes searchingly as though looking
for some answers.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 5/11 “Are you seriously taking her to the
beach?” she whispered to Camila and the smaller girl beamed
happily, answering Dinah’s question without the need for any
words to be exchanged. “You’re going to take her to our secret
place…the place that you’ve yet to go back to since the
accident…the place that you’ve been actively avoiding…”
“Umm….Dinah…” Lauren started with a confused expression on
her face at the silence that had fallen between the three of them.
“What’s…?” “Shh…” Dinah said, holding up one finger to silence
Lauren, her eyes never leaving Camila’s. “Do you want a picture?”
Camila asked Dinah loudly, making a face which betrayed her
enjoyment of the situation and her continued evasion of her
friends’ questions. Dinah moved her face towards Camila’s so that
 they were only a few inches apart, her sudden scrutiny seeming
out of place to Lauren who’d not heard Dinah’s murmured
questions. “Dinah, you do know that if you come any closer than I
can only assume it’s because you want to kiss me,” Camila warned
the Polynesian girl spiritedly for Lauren’s benefit. She whipped her
head back from Camila as she spoke in case she decided to follow
through on her threat but still examined the smaller girl through
narrowed eyes. “Alright, what happened down there?” Dinah
asked Camila, all thoughts of trying to keep the conversation
between the two of them now forgotten as she pointed back
towards the small courtyard that her best friend and Lauren had
emerged from. “Nothing,” Lauren answered, baffled. “We were
just talking…” “No, not between the two of you,” Dinah
interrupted, breaking eye contact with her best friend
momentarily to look at Lauren before returning it to Camila again.
“What happened to you?” she questioned, pointing at the smaller
girl stood in front of her. Camila just smiled at the question again
and Lauren saw Dinah’s head tilt to one side in response. “Are you
going to get out of my way?” Camila enquired goodnaturedly,
ignoring the question. “Let me get this straight, you’re going to
the beach for the first time in almost a year and you’re taking
Lauren?” Dinah asked quizzically. “I’m not invited too?” Camila
looked at Lauren then back at Dinah. “There’s just something
really important that I have to do Dinah,” she said purposefully.
“Holy shit,” Dinah cursed, the words coming out as a whisper
 along with the air that she blew out of her lungs. “What the fuck
just happened to you? Why are you going there now?” “It’s time
Dinah,” Camila said simply and the understanding smile that
appeared on Dinah’s face was like none Lauren had ever seen
before “Don’t say it like it’s nothing,” Dinah responded cheerfully,
her voice catching in her throat and cracking. “It’s not nothing. It’s
definitely something. It’s time? Jesus Mila. Really? It’s time?
That’s all you’re going to say to me… ” “What’s going on?” Lauren
questioned, sensing something bigger was going on here than she
was privy to. Dinah laughed then, a hearty, musical laugh that
made Lauren’s stomach flutter in excitement at the prospect of
this mysterious elusion. “You’ll find out,” Dinah answered, her
eyes flicking to Lauren briefly before returning to Camila. “Ok
Mila…” she said. “What do you need from me?” “Nothing,” Camila
replied honestly. “Just…let the others know that we’ve left and
then go back inside and enjoy what’s left of prom alright?”
“Meanwhile, you’ll be out here stealing the limousine…” Dinah
said knowingly. “I like to think of it as borrowing.” Camila
chuckled, emphasizing the last word. “I promise I’ll send it back
for you guys as soon as it’s dropped us off though. We won’t need
it after that.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 6/11 “Fine,” Dinah laughed, glancing
between Camila and Lauren, looking pleased about something.
“So I’ll talk to you later?” Camila probed hesitantly. “Damn right
you will.” Dinah responded conclusively, an amused expression on
her face. “I want to know what the fuck happened to you to finally
make you realise that you’re still the same godamn idiot that
you’ve always been.” “Life,” Camila said evasively in answer to
Dinah’s words. “Life?” Dinah asked chuckling as Camila tugged
gently on Lauren’s arm and began to lead her off in the direction
of the limousine. “Yeah, life is what happened to me Dinah,”
Camila said pausing momentarily when she came shoulder to
shoulder with her friend. “Life couldn’t have happened a little
quicker?” Dinah joked, turning her head to look at the smaller girl.
Camila laughed and pulled on Lauren’s arm again in a silent
prompt for her girlfriend to follow her. “Haven’t you heard
Dinah?” Camila asked, playfully, “Time heals all wounds.” she
trailed off in parting, stepping past the Polynesian, Lauren trailing
behind her. “Well, thank God!” Dinah called out after her, only
halfjoking. “Shame it’s only taken you almost a year to realise
what everyone else already knew!” she shouted after her friend
meaningfully, shaking her head in disbelief. She saw Camila look
over her shoulder at her, a smirk on her face. “We’ll see you at
Normani’s house later!” Camila yelled back in return, offering her
free hand up in a small wave goodbye. “I won’t wait up for you!”
Dinah responded knowingly, watching Camila and Lauren as they
slowly started to disappear out of sight in the dark, aware that the
probability of her seeing either of them again before the sunrise
tomorrow was about as likely as her winning the lottery. “Hey,
 Mila!” she shouted loudly after the smaller girl again. “It’s nice to
finally see you again! I’ve missed hanging out with you! Perhaps
the next time that you go on an extended vacation you could send
me a postcard or something!?” she joked. Dinah hadn’t expected
a reply, believing that Camila was already out of ear shot, so she
was surprised when she saw the small brunette turn around and
start jogging back towards her swiftly. “What are you doing?”
Dinah chuckled when an out of breath Camila collided with her,
her arms enveloping Dinah in an enormous hug. “You…didn’t… get
my…postcard?” Camila panted. She released Dinah from her hold
and moved her hands down to her knees, bending over in an
attempt to catch her breath, a mischievous look on her face as
she gasped noisily. “Do I really need to answer that?” Dinah asked
and Camila pushed herself back up straight so that she was her
full height again. “No…not really,” Camila replied smiling, taking
large breaths. “I just…wanted to see whether…you would.” Dinah
stepped forwards as though she were about to hug Camila again
but had decided better of it at the last minute. “I’m…probably
going to have to send…a strongly worded letter to the United
States… postal service about this…” the smaller girl clowned
effortlessly, her breathing finally settling. “I paid…good money for
that postcard…it cost me like…at least 25 cents” “Would you stop
joking for one minute?” Dinah asked halfheartedly. “I don’t think I
can,” Camila answered honestly. “You can’t…put the genie back in
the bottle…once it’s been released Dinah, you know that…” “Are
 you comparing yourself to a powerful spirit?” Dinah asked, lifting
an eyebrow.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 7/11 “Of course I am. You know every word
that comes out of my mouth is magic.” Camila said smugly, her
smile luminous. “I can’t believe Ijust said that I missed you,” Dinah
teased. “Iforgot just how much of an doofus you actually are.”
“How could you have missed me if I’ve been the ‘same godamn
idiot’ all along though?” Camila asked, repeating Dinah’s earlier
words back to her. “Well, because you didn’t know that you were
the same person and that made you behave differently…” Dinah
stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Camila frowned at Dinah’s words but threw her arms around her
friend again and hugged her warmly. “I knew that you loved me,”
she said and Dinah shook her head and pushed her back. “What
the hell are you talking about?” she asked, feigning displeasure.
“You’re like an annoying little sister…” “I’m older than you.”
Camila reminded her. “Yeah, but you’re also shorter than me,”
Dinah pointed out. “Who isn’t?” Camila asked mockingly. “The
nerve,” Dinah said, hitting her lightly on the arm. Camila shrugged
and turned to glance back over her shoulder at Lauren, who was
waiting patiently for her to return. “Can we continue this
argument later?” She queried hesitantly, facing Dinah once again
who was looking at Lauren over the smaller girls shoulder. “I’ve
got to go.” “Yeah, get the hell out of here,” Dinah encouraged,
 waving her hand dismissively. “I don’t really understand why you
bothered running back to be honest. You’re such a dork.” Camila
smiled and embraced Dinah again. She felt the taller girl’s long
arms envelope her small torso easily within them in return and
the pair of them remained there like that for a moment, both of
them reluctant to let the other one go. “So does this mean what I
think it does?” Dinah asked hopefully when they still stood in each
other’s arms. Tears were stinging her eyes as she squeezed
Camila’s body tightly, the reality of the situation dawning on her
at last. “This is it now? It’s finally over?” “Yeah,” Camila answered.
“Ithink so Dinah.” “You know the only person that ever thought
you’d really changed because of the accident was you Mila,” she
said sadly. “Yeah, I know that now,” Camila admitted. “You didn’t
change though,” Dinah told her, feeling the need to say it anyway.
“Not really, not deep down, where it mattered…” Dinah let out a
slow breath and Camila knew she was trying to stop herself from
crying. “You’ve always been the same person to me Mila,
always…” Dinah continued after a moment’s pause. “You’ve
always been my best friend. I know that the accident took a lot
from you but it never took that…not even on the bad days…not
even when we were fighting…” “I know,” Camila said, hugging
Dinah back comfortingly. “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve put
you through the last twelve months. If I could take back anything
it would be how much you had to go through because of me.” She
paused for a moment and leant back to meet Dinah’s eyes. “You
know that I love you, right?” she asked as if she wasn’t a hundred
percent sure Dinah did. Dinah released Camila stunned by the
question. “Of course,” Dinah said, planting a quick kiss on Camila’s
forehead, a wide smile on her face. “I love you too sis,” she told
her sincerely. “Now would you please just fuck off already?” she
asked jokingly, attempting to stem the tears which were still
threatening
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 8/11 to fall and tapping Camila lightly on
the backside. “Some of us are still trying to enjoy prom and I’m
getting sick of looking at your face.” She finished rubbing beneath
both eyes carefully with her index finger trying to preserve her
makeup. “Ok I’m going,” Camila said, nodding her head decisively.
“Good,” Dinah acknowledged laughing. “I really will see you
later,” Camila said, walking backwards and away from her friend.
“No you won’t,” Dinah told her shrewdly. “That’s ok though, I’ll
see you tomorrow.” “No you’ll see me later,” Camila disagreed.
Dinah shook her head but didn’t argue any further. “Can you do
me a favour?” she asked instead, watching Camila carefully
walking away from her. “Can you please stay the fuck away from
any cars from now on?” “No.” Camila answered, grinning. “Sorry.”
“Well can you at least wear the hat that Lauren got you for
Christmas?” she pressed. “I’ll think about it,” Camila promised.
“That’s all I ask,” Dinah chuckled. Camila didn’t say anything else
in response, but she lifted up one hand and wiggled her fingers in
a silent gesture of goodbye before turning around and making her
way back towards Lauren. “Is everything alright?” Lauren asked
when she reached her. “Everything’s perfect,” Camila answered,
her hand reaching down and taking Lauren’s reflexively. “Are you
sure?” she questioned. “That was kind of weird.” “Yeah, well
Dinah’s kind of weird.” Camila chuckled lightly. Lauren knew that
Camila was purposefully keeping something from her, but she
didn’t press it further, understanding that, whatever it was, she’d
probably soon find out. “So we’re seriously going to steal the
limousine?” Lauren questioned, nudging Camila in the side as they
continued towards where their ride was waiting. “The beach is
like a fifteen minute walk from here you know…” “Yeah I know
but we’re not going straight there,” Camila told her as they came
to a stop just outside the vehicle. “We’re not?” Lauren asked,
turning to meet the smaller girls’ gaze squarely. “No,” Camila
replied cagily. “Let me guess, you’re not going to tell me where
we’re going first?” Lauren asked as Camila opened the door and
gestured for her to enter. “No,” she repeated. “I don’t know how
much I’m going to like meeting Camila if she’s this shady,” Lauren
teased playfully. “Trust me you’ll love her,” Camila reassured her.
“She’s hilarious.” Lauren put a hand on to the top of the car door
and edged nearer to it as if she was about to get in. “We’re
seriously not just going to walk there?” she asked, pausing. “You
really want to steal the limousine?” “Firstly, we’re not walking
there,” Camila repeated. “Secondly, we’re borrowing it,” she
 laughed. “I can’t drive a car.” She reminded her looking amused.
“I don’t know why you and Dinah seem to think that I’d be any
good at stealing one.” “Hey, for all I know you used to boost cars
for your allowance back before your accident.” Lauren kidded.
“Perhaps that’s what you’re just about to tell me.” “Well, if you
just got in the damn thing then you’d find out what I’m about to
tell you, wouldn’t you?” she said, gesturing emphatically with her
arm again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/83770400707/trialsand-
tribulationschapter77 9/11 Lauren rolled her eyes but finally
relented and descended in to the limousine, Camila following
quickly after her. “Just so we’re clear though, I didn’t steal cars….”
Camila complained, making a face as she closed the limousine
door behind them. “I only robbed banks. I mean, God Lauren. Give
me some credit. Do you know how hard it is to shift a stolen car?”
“You’re such a fucking dork,” Lauren laughed lightly. “Yeah, yeah,
I know.” She accepted as she fastened her seat belt. The
limousine driver lowered the partition separating the main
compartment from where he sat and asked them both whether
they were waiting for the rest of their group before leaving. “No,”
Camila answered. “It’s just us.” The driver asked the girls where
they were going and Camila gave him Normani’s address,
explaining to him that once he’d dropped them both off, he’d
have to return here to wait for the rest of their group. “No
problem,” the driver said, raising the partition between them
 again and setting the car in motion. “We’re going to Normani’s
house?” Lauren asked Camila. “Yeah,” Camila replied. “You know
we don’t have a key right?” Lauren laughed. “Yes, but I’m an
amazing burglar remember?” Camila teased, reaching over and
taking Lauren’s hand in her own. “I’ll show you how good I am at
picking locks.” She shared, her eye’s lowered to their joined hands
and her thumb stroking the back of Lauren’s rhythmically as she
spoke. “I’m a little rusty but if I can’t get us in that way then at
least you know where Normani’s parents keep the spare set.” She
finished smugly. “Have you always been this annoying?” Lauren
questioned cheerfully, leaning in to Camila’s side and getting
comfortable for the journey. “The word you were looking for is
smart,” Camila informed her, “but, in answer to your question
yes, I’ve always been annoying.” Lauren shook her head and
dropped it to rest on Camila’s shoulder. “Why do Ifeel like
something is about to change?” Lauren asked her anxiously.
“Maybe because it is,” Camila answered honestly. “Is it a good
thing?” Lauren questioned tentatively. “No Lauren,” Camila said.
“It’s not good.” “It isn’t?” Lauren asked surprised, tilting her head
up to look at Camila. “No, it’s not good.” Camila said, turning her
gaze to look out of the window. “It’s so much more than that.”
Lauren followed Camila’s eyes and felt the familiar sensation of
butterflies in her stomach at her girlfriend’s words. She knew they
were true and that Camila wasn’t lying. She knew that whatever
happened next it was big, if not for her, then for the smaller girl
 sat beside her. She knew it by the way that Dinah had interacted
with Camila, the Polynesian seemingly struck profoundly by
something she’d said to her. She knew it by the way that Camila
herself had alluded to finding the girl that she thought she’d lost
again, by the way that she’d asked Lauren if she’d wanted to meet
her. As they continued to make the journey back to Normani’s
house, a comfortable silence falling between them both, Lauren
couldn’t help but feel like it was the end of something, like a
chapter in the book they’d been slowly writing together was
coming to a close. As much as it would pain her to say goodbye,
Lauren knew without a shadow of a doubt that this wasn’t the
end, that it was just a new beginning, a chance for them to start
over again. The idea of getting to rediscover the many reasons
that she loved Camila, to be able to write a new chapter in their
story, a better one than the last, was something that Lauren was
looking forward to more than even she had realised.
Chapter 78
When they arrived at Normani’s house, Lauren wasted no time in
retrieving the spare key from where it was concealed in a false
electrical conduit and letting them inside. They only remained
there long enough to remove their makeup and change out of
their prom dresses in to something more comfortable before
leaving again; Camila opting to wear the hoodie and sweatpants
that she’d brought with her for the next day whilst Lauren donned
a pair of cut off denim shorts with a white tank top and her
 favourite flannel shirt. “Ok,” Lauren said, once they’d made their
way back outside and she’d locked Normani’s front door securely
behind them. “Now what?” “Now,” Camila said, a small smile
gracing her lips as she watched Lauren crouch down and quickly
return the spare key to its original hiding place. “We’re going to
go to my house.” “Your house?” she questioned laughing as she
stood back up again. “Why?” “Ijust need to pick up a few things,”
Camila informed her simply as she started off down the garden
path in the direction of Lauren’s red Chevrolet Cruze which was
parked at the curb. “What things?” Lauren asked interestedly,
following after her. “Just things,” Camila answered evasively as
Lauren quickened her pace and caught up to her. “You’ll find out
soon enough. Be patient.” She commanded cheerfully. “You’re
enjoying this aren’t you?” Lauren asked pulling her keys out of her
bag and smiling brightly as they came to a stop alongside her car.
Camila leant back against the vehicle casually as Lauren unlocked
it, a smirk appearing on her face in response to the question. “A
little bit,” she replied honestly, her hands tucked firmly behind
her back. Lauren shook her head in amusement at Camila’s
admission but didn’t say anything, instead opening the passenger
door and holding it wide for her girlfriend. “Fine, I’ll be patient.”
Lauren relented, gesturing for Camila to get in. “I’m just intrigued
that’s all.” “Good,” Camila said as she pushed herself away from
the car and descended in to the passenger seat obediently. “I was
hoping that you would be.” She admitted, pulling the safety belt
 across her torso and securing it in to place. “You do realise that
you’re giving me really high expectations here Camz,” Lauren
teased her girlfriend, resting her forearm along the top of the car
door and peering in at the smaller girl who sat looking up at her. “I
hope that you can deliver after all this, otherwise I’m going to be
really disappointed.” “I can,” Camila said confidently. “Trust me.
You’re going to have fallen even more hopelessly in love with me
by the end of tonight, I promise.” “I’m not sure that’s possible,”
Lauren responded playfully, standing up tall, “but, we’ll see…” she
said closing the door carefully.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 2/18 She made her way round to the
driver’s side and climbed in, fastening her own safety belt before
placing the key in the ignition, starting the engine and setting off
towards Camila’s house. They made the majority of the journey in
relative silence, Camila’s eyes focused out of the window to her
right and watching the world as it rushed past, the smaller girl
evidently deep in thought about something. It was only when the
car came to a stop that she returned her attention to Lauren and
the greeneyed girl couldn’t help but smile at the confused
expression on Camila’s face, as though she had been completely
lost in a daze and were only just now becoming aware of what
was going on around her. “We’re here,” Lauren said helpfully
when the puzzled expression didn’t disappear from her girlfriend’s
face after a few seconds. “That was quick,” Camila commented as
 she leant forward to look past her girlfriend through the driver’s
side window, confirming with her own eyes that they were indeed
at her house. She released the clasp of her safety belt and slowly
removed it from across her chest, her eyes lifting to meet Lauren’s
once more. “It is when your mind is otherwise occupied
elsewhere,” Lauren replied knowingly. “I was just thinking,”
Camila responded placing a hand on top of Lauren’s which rested
on her knee now that the car sat idle. “I know,” Lauren responded
glancing down at their hands for a second and squeezing Camila’s
supportively. “It’s ok. We all do it from time to time.” “Some of us
more than others though, right?” Camila noted chuckling softly to
herself as she gazed back towards her house once more. “You do
have a bit of a habit for it,” Lauren returned warmly as Camila
reached for the door handle with her right hand. “So I’ve been
told,” Camila answered lightly, winking at Lauren as she pushed
the door ajar. “Wait here for a minute, ok?” She halfasked, half-
instructed, her eyes meeting Lauren’s squarely. “I’ll be right back.”
“Ok,” Lauren agreed easily, relinquishing Camila’s other hand as
the smaller girl climbed out of the vehicle. Camila gave Lauren an
easy smile in acknowledgement as she closed the car door and
then hastily made her way towards her empty house, her small
feet moving deftly up the path and pausing just long enough to let
herself inside. Lauren waited until Camila had completely
vanished from sight before bending forward and fiddling with the
volume dial on the stereo system, the sound having been so low
 for the entirety of their journey that it might as well have been
off. She turned it up now that her previous worries about
disturbing Camila’s quiet ruminations were no longer a concern
and leant back in her seat while she waited, sighing heavily.
“What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in and
you kicking me out, you’ve got my head spinning, no kidding; I
can’t pin you down. What’s going on in that beautiful mind? I’m
on your magical mystery ride. And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what
hit me, but I’ll be alright.” “You’ve got to be kidding,” Lauren
laughed as she listened to the song which was melodiously filling
the space around her. “My head’s under water, but I’m breathing
fine. You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind. ‘Cause all of me, loves
all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect
imperfections….” “Yeah ok, that’s enough of that,” she said to
herself exhaling noisily once again. She reached forward and
turned the radio off fully, reluctant to listen to any more, the song
already moving her close to tears, the lyrics a perfect
representation of her feelings for Camila and touching her
profoundly. “Jesus,” she sighed, resting her head back against the
seat behind her and covering her eyes with the palm of her hand
for a moment, unable to stop continuing the song in her head
now that she’d related it to her girlfriend so fittingly. “How many
times do I have to tell you? Even when you’re crying you’re
beautiful too. The world is beating you down;I’m around through
every mood. You’re my downfall;
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 3/18 you’re my muse, my worst distraction,
my rhythm and blues. I can’t stop singing; it’s ringing, in my head
for you.” “Alright…” she said as she leant forward and turned the
radio back on, her fingers quickly switching it over to the CD
player function in search of a different song to distract her from
her thoughts. She hovered her hand close to the stereo whilst the
current CD loaded and smiled to herself when the sound of an
electric guitar and drum accompaniment burst forth from the
speakers. “Baby, seasons change but people don’t. And I’ll always
be waiting in the back room. I’m boring but overcompensate with
headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. But don’t pretend
you ever forgot about me. Don’t pretend you ever forgot about
me…” “Oh, thank God,” Lauren said grateful that Camila had
returned her Fall Out Boy album to her after it’d inadvertently
been the cause of the smaller girl breaking her guitar a few
months ago. She slumped back in her seat and closed her eyes,
singing quietly along to the lyrics as she listened to the up tempo
music and waited for Camila to return, the smaller girl managing
to scare the life out of her for the second time that night when
halfway through ‘This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race’ she
opened the door behind Lauren unexpectedly. “Shit!” Lauren
gasped as her hand shot up to her chest, her heart pounding
furiously in her ribcage at the sudden disturbance. “Can you stop
doing that?” she laughed. “You scared the shit out of me…again.”
 She added after a pause. “Sorry,” Camila apologised sincerely,
looking remorseful. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Lauren
saw a smile creep on to Camila’s face as she finally registered the
song playing on the stereo. “What?” Lauren asked her, a smile of
her own illuminating her features. “You’re listening to Fall Out
Boy?” she asked and Lauren’s brow knitted together. “Yeah,” she
answered. “Why?” “I just…I’m not sure how safe it is to bring this
along with us after the last time I had an instrument around this
band…” Camila answered, lifting up her guitar in to view and
placing it carefully on to the back seat beside a small holdall. “You
brought your guitar?” Lauren questioned beaming. “Yeah,” Camila
replied. “Do you think it’ll survive the journey to the beach?”
“There’s only one way to find out.” Lauren responded and Camila,
having finally deposited everything in to the back of the car,
closed the door and made her way back round to the passenger
side. She opened the door and lowered herself in to the seat
carefully, her eyes fixing on Lauren’s green ones for an instant
before she turned around to reach for her safety belt. “Perhaps
you should have buckled your guitar up too?” Lauren joked as she
watched Camila clip it in to place. “Nah,” she said waving her
hand in front of her once it was secure. “Let’s live dangerously for
once. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” “Ok, but don’t blame me if anything
does happen to it,” Lauren said lightheartedly. “I won’t.” she
responded casually. “So then, where to next?” she asked Camila
nonchalantly. “The beach,” Camila replied smiling broadly. “Our
 usual spot?” Lauren asked. “No,” Camila answered shaking her
head for emphasis, but not elaborating any further. “Camz, you’re
going to have to tell me where we’re going,” she said, her tone
serious. “Otherwise, how am I supposed to know how to get
there?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 4/18 “Just head towards our usual spot and
then keep driving,” Camila encouraged her. “I’ll direct you when
we get a bit closer.” “You’re so infuriating.” Lauren grumbled
weakly as she put the car in to drive, a betraying grin on her face
as she pulled away from the curb. “It won’t be long now Lauren, I
promise,” Camila said, placing a hand on the taller girl’s knee.
“Just a few more minutes, that’s all.” Lauren reached her right
hand down and placed it on top of Camila’s left, her fingers
enclosing around it affectionately as she continued to drive
towards the beach. She followed Camila’s instructions and headed
in the direction of the place where they usually wasted away their
days, only changing course when they’d arrived at it and Camila
directed her to take a right turn down a side street. Lauren did as
she was asked and continued to follow Camila’s prompts for a few
minutes, the small brunette extending her arm in front of her and
pointing either left or right as she navigated the streets decisively.
“Pull up over there,” Camila said gesturing to a space on Lauren’s
left a little further ahead. Lauren did as Camila asked and steered
the car over to the side of the row, stopping alongside a low curb
which was situated down a quiet side street. Camila released her
seat belt quickly when the car came to a halt and she leant
forward to peer through the windscreen, an allencompassing
smile spreading across her face as her eyes fell on the sea which
could just about be made out in the distance, the reflection of the
moon sparkling radiantly off the water in the gaps between the
palm trees situated just ahead of them. “Where are we?” Lauren
asked, glancing out the side windows and trying to get her
bearings. “The beach,” Camila answered simply, turning to Lauren
and meeting her greeneyes with her own excited ones. “I don’t
think I’ve ever been here before Camz,” Lauren commented. “Are
you sure that we’re allowed?” she asked uncertainly. “Of course!”
Camila replied animatedly as she pushed open the passenger
door. “Really?” Lauren questioned still uncertain. “It looks like it
might be private.” “It’s not,” Camila reassured her, stepping
outside the vehicle and lowering her head back in to look at
Lauren once she was outside. “Trust me.” Camila implored
sincerely. “Ok,” Lauren agreed, meeting Camila’s hazelnut eyes
and accepting her words for the truth, realising that she had
never once given her reason to doubt them. “Ok,” Camila
acknowledged closing the door and quickly gathering the things
that she’d collected from her house out of the back of the car.
“Here, let me take something for you.” Lauren offered as she
exited the vehicle on her side and walked around it to join Camila.
She gently closed the back right passenger door shut as she
 reached it and bent down to assist Camila who was struggling to
deal with both her guitar and the holdall that she’d brought with
her. “No, it’s ok.” Camila said hurriedly, placing her guitar case on
the floor and lifting the holdall strap across her shoulder. “Are you
sure?” Lauren asked as she stood back up, her eyes never leaving
her girlfriend. “Yeah,” Camila answered, picking her guitar case
back up and taking hold of Lauren’s hand with her free one. “I’ve
got it.” She reassured her. “Ok, as long as you’re sure though?”
Lauren asked, using her key fob to lock her car. “I’m sure.” She
replied tugging gently on Lauren’s hand enthusiastically. “Come
on, we’ve still got a little bit of a walk before we get there.”
Camila led Lauren down the sidewalk a few yards, tugging
impatiently on the taller girls hand until they reached a wire fence
that stopped just above waist height. She paused in
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 5/18 front of it and frowned, her eyes
scanning the barrier in front of them as though she was surprised
to see it there. “Is everything alright?” Lauren asked, watching as
Camila’s brow furrowed thoughtfully and her eyes continued to
roam the thin mesh partition in the faint glow of the streetlight
nearby. “Yeah,” Camila said, taking a step closer to the division
and releasing Lauren’s hand for a moment. She walked along the
fence, her hand grazing the metal wire until she came to a gate on
the far right hand side which she hadn’t noticed on first
observation. Camila slid the lock back and swung it open, leaning
 her body weight against it in order to stop it closing again. She
gestured for Lauren to step through it and the greeneyed girl took
a tentative step in Camila’s direction, a nagging feeling of distrust
in the pit of her stomach. “Are you sure I’m not going to get
arrested for this?” Lauren asked hesitantly, pausing just in front of
her girlfriend. “I guess we’ll soon find out.” Camila answered
mischievously, quirking one eyebrow up as she spoke. “Please tell
me that you’re joking?” Lauren beseeched stepping past her
girlfriend. Camila moved away from the gate to follow her,
allowing it to slam closed noisily now that she was no longer
standing in front of it. “Would you relax,” Camila encouraged
Lauren, grabbing hold of her hand and pulling on it energetically
as she bounded forward in to the shelter of the tall palm trees
that now towered above them. “I can’t relax,” Lauren responded
seriously. “Do you know what my parents would do if I got
arrested for trespassing?” “You’re not going to get arrested,”
Camila laughed, walking forward briskly. She steered them on
through the trees skilfully, avoiding low and sometimes hidden
obstructions as though she made this journey every day of her
life. “It’ll be fine.” She reassured her again, her feet still moving
them forward quickly. “So…you used to come here a lot right?”
Lauren asked searchingly, looking for further guarantee that they
weren’t breaking any laws. She glanced over her shoulder
worriedly in the direction they’d just come from, unable to shake
the gnawing doubt in her gut. “All the time,” Camila confirmed.
 “Camz, you’d tell me if you had a criminal record, wouldn’t you?”
Lauren urged her sheepishly. “Sure…” Camila replied cautiously,
her eyes still fixed firmly in front of her as her feet continued to
drive them forward with undeterred purpose. “You know…if I
could remember whether I had one or not…then…yeah…of course
I’d tell you.” “What?!” Lauren exclaimed as she planted her feet
firmly in to the ground beneath her and stopped walking. “Camz!”
Camila turned round to face her and chuckled loudly. “I’m joking,”
she laughed heartily, taking a step towards Lauren. “I don’t have a
criminal record.” “Are you sure?” Lauren asked bewildered. “Well,
I mean, yeah…I’m pretty sure…” Camila responded casually. “Ok,
we have to go back.” Lauren said feeling uneasy. “No we don’t,”
Camila disagreed with her, still laughing to herself lightly,
evidently amused by Lauren’s reluctance. “We’re almost there
now. It’s literally just through those trees…” “Camz, I can’t go to
jail…” she stated seriously.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 6/18 “You won’t go to jail,” Camila laughed,
pulling on Lauren’s arm again, trying to urge her forward. “I don’t
think I believe you,” Lauren admitted and Camila laughed again.
She turned to face Lauren and released her hand, instead placing
the palm of her own against her girlfriend’s face. “Listen,” she said
fondly as her thumb stroked Lauren’s cheek. “We won’t get in
trouble for being here, I promise. I’m just messing with you, ok?
You can access this part of the beach from our usual spot if you
 really wanted to,” she informed her honestly. “It’s just more
difficult because of the inlet and the breakers, that’s all. It’s a part
of the reason that no one really comes here. It’s too much effort
to get to and it’s too far away from the restaurants and the other
amenities for tourists to want to come here.” “What about the
locals?” Lauren questioned. “I don’t know,” Camila shrugged,
unsure of the answer to the question. “I guess they know it’s here
but I don’t think it’s exactly advertised.” She commented. “I
mean, the only reason I know it’s here is because of my dad. He
used to bring me and Dinah down here all the time when we were
growing up.” “Seriously?” Lauren asked, still dubious. “You’re
sure?” “Lauren, let me ask you something,” Camila said
meaningfully, her dark eyes penetrating Lauren’s deeply. “Did you
see a ‘No trespassing’ sign on the fence back there?” “Well…no,”
Lauren admitted as Camila took hold of her girlfriend’s hand once
again. “Did you see any sign that said this was private land?” she
pressed. “No…” Lauren replied, “but…maybe we just missed it or
something.” “Ok,” Camila accepted grudgingly, “Well, don’t you
think that if it were private land that the gate would have been
locked?” “I suppose…” Lauren granted. “Lauren,” Camila said as
she gently leant backwards on to her heels and pulled on her
girlfriend’s arm so that it was straightened between them. “The
fence on the perimeter is so low that Sofi could scale it in ten
seconds if she wanted to…” she trailed off, taking a step
backwards. Lauren moved forward with her, taking one diffident
 step then another. “It’s not private property.” Camila stated
clearly for Lauren’s benefit as she continued to walk backwards
carefully, the taller girl continuing to keep pace with her. “So
you’re not leading me in to a life of crime?” Lauren asked, feeling
a little easier about things at Camila’s rationalisation but still
worrying that they might get in trouble. “Not yet,” Camila replied
smiling. “We’ve still got plenty of time for that if you want
though.” She added jovially, spinning around in her converse on
the sand so that she was walking forward again, her hand still
entwined with Lauren’s. Camila guided Lauren the remainder of
the way through the trees, her small hand clasped lightly around
the taller girls and tugging on it gently until they eventually
emerged on to a small, open expanse of beach which was isolated
from the rest of the coast line by a long wave breaker on one side
and the sharp contour of the land and accumulation of wild
undergrowth on the other. “Wow,” Lauren said as her eyes took
in the picturesque view before her. “I know right?” Camila said
happily as she stepped out in to the space further and lowered
her guitar case on to the sand. She removed the holdall strap
from over her shoulder and dumped the bag carefully beside it,
unburdening herself from its weight. “It’s so beautiful here,”
Lauren observed as she wandered forward in awe, her eyes taking
in the enormous moon and the generous scattering of stars which
lit up the sky above them. The ocean sat relatively calm and it
glistened in the pale evening light, the waves it generated rocking
 back and forth against the shore softly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 7/18 “It’s almost, but not quite, as beautiful
as you are.” Camila told her smoothly, discarding her converse
easily and sinking her feet in to the cool sand. Lauren felt her face
blush despite herself and stepped closer to the smaller girl,
closing the distance between them. “God, you’re so good at that
now,” Lauren praised Camila, reaching up both her hands to
caress the tops of Camila’s arms delicately over the sleeves of her
hoody. “You make it easy for me,” Camila shared with her, only
half joking as she crumpled her toes and then straightened them
again a few times, her small feet manipulating the sand beneath
them out of habit. Lauren squeezed Camila’s right bicep on
noticing the custom and glanced around the secluded beach,
smiling to herself unconsciously at the peaceful tranquillity of the
place, the faint calls of the seabirds in the distance and the soft
rustle of the palm leaves in the placid breeze behind her the only
other only sound audible beside the waves. “I can’t believe how
quiet it is here,” Lauren noted in wonderment. “It’s because we’re
too far from the main tourist strip to get any of the noise from the
hotels and the bars,” Camila shared, pleased with Lauren’s
obvious approval of her and Dinah’s secret escape. “It’s part of
the reason that Ilove it here so much.” Lauren examined Camila
closely as her hazelnut eyes strayed over the serene landscape
around them, her girlfriend apparently refamiliarising herself with
 it after such a long and bitter separation. Lauren could see the
truth of Camila’s words plain as day, the obvious affection that
her girlfriend had for the place evident on her face. Her features
seemed softer here; her eyes more vibrant and spirited, her smile
bright than any star that illuminated the sky. “You know…” Camila
started, returning her gaze to meet Lauren’s. “This is my favourite
place in the entire world.” she revealed with a slight hint of
melancholy in her voice which Lauren had no difficulty hearing
but a lot of trouble interpreting. “It is?” she asked, surprised, her
forehead creasing notably. “Then why haven’t you brought me
here before?” Lauren asked; her tone not accusatory but
interested. “It’s because I’ve been avoiding it.” Camila disclosed
honestly. “The last time that I was here was just before the
accident.” She shared. “This is the first time that I’ve been back
here in almost a year.” “You’ve never mentioned it before,”
Lauren commented in realisation, her eyes studying Camila’s face
closely. “In all the time that I’ve known you Camz, I don’t think
I’ve ever once heard you talk about this place.” “I know,” Camila
said, dropping her gaze to avoid Lauren’s scrutiny. “It’s because I
haven’t…” She exhaled, watching her own feet as they kicked at
the sand. “Why?” Lauren pressed sensitively; her mind trying to fit
the pieces of everything Camila had ever told her together to
form some kind of explanation. “Ijust…couldn’t…” The smaller girl
confessed simply, lifting her eyes to Lauren’s again. “Yeah,
but…why?” Lauren asked softly, reaching up her hand and placing
 it on Camila’s shoulder again. “Camz…” Lauren probed tenderly,
squeezing her shoulder in a show of support. “I don’t
understand…if it means that much to you then, why haven’t you
ever told me about it?” she questioned carefully. “Why have you
been avoiding it for so long?” Camila rubbed over her mouth
thoughtfully with the fingertips of her left hand for a moment
before extricating herself from Lauren’s grasp and crouching
down to open the holdall that she’d brought with them. She
pulled out a blanket from inside and unrolled it on the sand
beside the rest of her things, Lauren watching silently as she did
so. “Here,” she said patting the space beside her once she was
sitting down on top of it. “Come and sit with me.” Lauren obeyed
amenably, descending on to the blanket beside Camila who was
staring out at the ocean contemplatively. For a few minutes
Camila didn’t say anything and Lauren watched her profile
patiently, allowing her the time to collect her thoughts without
interruption. When Lauren had all but assumed that Camila had
forgotten she was there, the smaller girl twisted on the spot to
face her. She reached for Lauren’s hands and took them both
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 8/18 in her own, bringing them to rest on
her knees. “You know, I’ve never been popular Lauren,” Camila
said simply, not quite fully meeting Lauren’s eyes but lifting her
gaze in their direction. “I’ve never really had any friends. In fact,
before I met you, Ally and Normani the only friend that I had was
 Dinah.” She confessed. “There was just me and her but, that was
ok because she was such a great friend to me that I didn’t ever
need any others.” She explained, tilting her head up so that she
was now meeting Lauren’s eyes squarely. “Dinah…she’s so
charismatic and outgoing; so loyal and dependable, so….amazing,
that just one of her is equivalent to having a hundred other
friends. At least, that’s how I feel.” She disclosed. “It’s
like…Dinah’s this super friend who always knows exactly what to
do or say in any situation and somehow manages to appear
whenever I happen to need her the most, even if it’s just to be
there…even if I don’t want to talk…she’ll just be there for me and
that’s enough…she’s enough…” The corner of Camila’s mouth
twitched slightly and curled up in to a sad halfsmile as she
manipulated Lauren’s fingers in her own and lifted their entwined
hands between them, her eyes watching them closely as she did
so. “Did you know that our mom’s knew each other in high
school?” Camila asked Lauren and the greeneyed girl nodded her
head in response. “Yeah, Ally mentioned something to me about
it once.” Lauren responded honestly. “They were best friends
from the very first day of their freshman year and they have been
ever since then.” Camila said glancing out at the ocean briefly
before returning her eyes up to Lauren’s again. “So I’ve know
Dinah all my life,” Camila continued. “We literally grew up
together and her family is mine just as much as mine is hers. So,
Dinah is more to me than just a friend Lauren. She’s my sister and
 she knows everything that there is to know about me, all of my
stories, every single one of them. I mean, she should do really….”
She realised wistfully. “She’s been the biggest supporting
character in most of them.” Camila paused momentarily and
cleared her throat, her voice turning slightly hoarse from talking
so candidly. “Dinah was there with me the day that I knocked out
my first milk tooth on the dining room table,” Camila shared with
Lauren. “She was there with me the day that I managed to get my
hand stuck in my next door neighbour’s letter box because I was
trying to pet their dog through it.” She revealed. “She was the
person who sat with me in my room the afternoon that my abuelo
passed away, back before I really even knew what that meant. I
remember that she was there when my parent’s sat me down to
tell me,” Camila recalled. “They wanted to tell us together
because she loved my abuelo just as much as I did…the two of us,
we always used to chase him around the garden together,” she
told her. “Dinah would take his glasses off him and pretend that
she was old and couldn’t see.” She laughed, sniffing back tears. “I
remember the day that he died and how she held my hand when
my parents explained that he was gone, that he wasn’t going to
be coming back. I looked at her afterwards because I was
confused. I didn’t understand what that meant, but I knew that
she did. She had a big family and she’d lost people before so, she
knew that when my parents said he wasn’t coming back that it
was the truth, even if I didn’t believe them. She stayed over at my
 house that night and we slept in a makeshift fort that we’d built
together out of blankets in my bedroom. We were always making
them in the corner of my room. It was like our special place…our
own secret castle that we could lock ourselves away in,” Camila
said, crying openly now, not ashamed of her tears, a sad mix of
longing for the past and sorrow in her voice. “I remember that
Dinah told me this stupid story about a monkey that couldn’t find
his banana in to try and cheer me up. She always used to do that
if I was sad, just…make stuff up to make me laugh, but she
couldn’t then…just like she couldn’t after the accident.” Camila
wiped at her eyes with the back of one hand before continuing.
“After she’d told me her story, we just lay together under our
comforters in that fort and she kept telling me that I shouldn’t be
sad. She said that I should be happy, that my abuelo was moving
in to his new house next door to God and that they were probably
already having a really big welcome party for him.” Camila paused
for a moment and Lauren squeezed her hand, encouraging her to
go on. “She said that he was so nice that he’d definitely have
already made lots of new friends.” Camila complied after taking a
few seconds to compose herself. “She told me that when we died
and were finally able to see him again, that he’d introduce all of
them to us and that they’d give us chocolate and sweets just like
all his other friends’ always did.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 9/18 Camila glanced back out at the ocean
 again regretfully as she continued. “We spent a long time that
night talking about the gift that we could give him when we did
see him next, but, we couldn’t agree on anything.” Camila
revealed, dropping her head low and wiping her nose on one of
her sleeves. “I remember that Dinah wanted to buy him some
new glasses because she always lost his whenever she borrowed
them but, no matter the suggestions that she made, the only
thing that I ever really wanted to give him was a hug…” “How old
were you when he passed away?” Lauren asked compassionately,
stroking the back of Camila’s hand with her thumb, engrossed in
her girlfriend’s memories but curious as to how they related to
her earlier question about the beach. “We were seven,” Camila
replied, wiping at her eyes with her free hand once more in an
attempt to rid the tears there. “I remember it clearly because it
was the week after Dinah’s birthday and when we’d first found
out that he’d died she told me how she wished that she’d saved
her birthday.” She recollected. “Dinah said she would have saved
it if she’d known; that she would have used it to bring him back
instead of wasting it on a new bike. “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised
when Camila trailed off. “Don’t be,” Camila returned as Lauren
used the pad of her thumb to wipe a stray tear from the smaller
girls’ cheek. “I’m not. I have so many amazing memories of him
that it’s hard for him to ever really be gone from my life
completely.” Lauren smiled at the irony of Camila’s words
because she knew her girlfriend’s fears about being forgotten if
 she died. They’d spoken about her insecurities numerous times
over the course of their relationship, including earlier that
evening. So, to hear Camila recognise the truth of the matter now
made Lauren’s heart flutter unreservedly. “I just…that’s Dinah all
over…” Camila went on trying to get back to her original point.
“She acts like she doesn’t care. In fact, she acts like a complete
idiot most of the time. She just…she makes a lot of jokes
and…plays a lot of pranks but, she’s a big softie at heart. She’s
really a giant teddy bear; caring and kind. Sometimes I think that
people don’t really know that about her…” “We know,” Lauren
disagreed with her girlfriend. “Me, Ally and Normani…we’ve all
seen that side of Dinah. We see it all the time because of you.”
She added meaningfully. “You’re one of the things that’s
guaranteed to bring that side out in her. Do you think we’ve not
heard her speak about you the way that you’re talking about her
now? Do you think that she hasn’t told us stories about how
you’ve been there for her too? We used to sit by your hospital
bed after your seizure at Christmas and she’d tell me all her
favourite memories of you.” Lauren shared affectionately. “For
example, she told me about the time that you stole your dad’s
video camera and tried to make a documentary about one of the
neighbourhood cats…” she laughed, recalling the story of how
Camila and Dinah had followed it around for a whole day,
narrating its actions like they were David Attenborough. “She said
that you got stuck up a tree and she had to go and get your dad to
 come and rescue you.” “We were so stupid back then,” Camila
chuckled at the memory. “What do you mean ‘back then’? Lauren
asked playfully, releasing Camila’s hand and pushing against her
upper arm goodnaturedly. “Fair enough,” Camila allowed, rocking
backwards on the spot slightly before finding her balance again.
“Do you really think we don’t know what kind of person Dinah is
Camz?” Lauren asked, dipping her head to meet Camila’s eyes.
“Do you really think that people can’t see just how much she
cares, especially when it comes to you?” Camila didn’t answer
Lauren’s question so the taller girl continued. “Dinah’s no better
at hiding who she really is than you are.” She told her. “Everyone
knows how much she loves you. You’d have to be blind not to see
that.” Camila shook the hand of Lauren’s that she still held in her
own a few times before releasing it to pick up a handful of sand
from beside her. She didn’t talk, instead just allowing the small
grains to trickle through her fingers as she watched them silently.
“Why are you telling me all this stuff about Dinah though?”
Lauren asked her as the last of it escaped Camila’s grasp and fell
to the ground again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 10/18 Camila lifted her eyes to Lauren’s and
held them for a moment, a smile gracing her lips at the question,
her hand dipping low to pick up another handful of sand. “You
wanted to meet Camila,” she answered as though it should have
been obvious, “and well Dinah, she’s a huge part of who I am,”
 Camila explained. “Yeah?” Lauren asked somewhat sarcastically
and beaming brightly. “Yeah,” Camila answered, understanding
from the look on Lauren’s face that she already knew that. “I
mean, we’re so different in so many ways but Dinah always made
it seem like those differences didn’t matter.” Camila said, her gaze
lowering to the floor in front of her. “Dinah is an extrovert and I’m
an introvert,” she stated, lowering her hand to play with the sand
beside her again. “She’s loud and enigmatic whereas I’m shy and
quiet. She has no problem making friends and talking to people
she doesn’t know but I’ve always struggled with that because I
never felt like I knew what to say. I was so awkward even before
the accident made my speech difficult. I’d trip over my words
when I was talking to someone new and I always used to worry
what people would think of me. Dinah didn’t though. She’s never
cared what anyone thought of her.” Camila lifted her eyes to
Lauren’s which were watching her attentively. “You know,
sometimes I used to wish that I could be like that, that I could be
like her but, I couldn’t. Trust me, I tried but, it just made me feel
uncomfortable and I hated it,” Camila shared openly. “I always felt
like people were judging me. My parents thought that I should try
harder, that it wasn’t good for me to only have one friend. They
said that I should try to socialise more. They were worried that I’d
struggle when I went to college, that if me and Dinah went to
different schools then I’d be alone and isolated.” She explained. “I
could understand their concerns, I could but, it’s hard for me to
let people in. I don’t know if you noticed Lauren but I kind of keep
myself to myself.” “I’d noticed,” Lauren acknowledged with an
understanding smile on her face. “I can make friends though,”
Camila went on. “It just…it takes me a little while, that’s all. I need
to get to know someone before I can really trust them and
sometimes they can get impatient and bored of waiting…” “It’s
their loss,” Lauren informed her kindly, placing a hand on Camila’s
knee. “They don’t know what they’re missing out on.” Camila
smiled appreciatively at Lauren’s words. “You really think so?”
Camila asked. “I know so,” Lauren returned without even a
second’s delay for thought. “Anyone would be lucky to have a
friend like you Camz. Dinah’s smart and she knows that. She
knows how amazing you are.” “When I was growing up Dinah was
the only person that never made me feel like being myself was
potentially a bad thing,” Camila said frankly. “She accepted me for
who I was; flaws and all. It’s because of her that I am the person
that I am, that I feel so comfortable around her. She never tried to
change me and it’s strange because when I’m with her, I feel more
confident, more outgoing, more dynamic…” Camila mused. “It’s
like…her personality is contagious and I never worry that I’ll
embarrass myself around her because I know she’d just laugh it
off and remind me of the time that her shorts fell down in gym
class during junior high.” Lauren smiled at Camila’s tale as the
smaller girl shuffled closer to her, meeting her gaze squarely.
“When I’m with her I can be myself,” Camila shared. “I don’t have
 to pretend to be someone else. I can be vulnerable or I can be an
idiot,” she said smiling. “I can be quiet or I can be loud, and it
doesn’t matter to her because she’ll hang out with whichever
version of me exists in that moment.” “Camz, I’m confused. I
thought you said that I was going to meet Camila tonight,” Lauren
returned a little baffled by her girlfriend’s story. “You are,” Camila
answered, her free hand playing with the material of Lauren’s
flannel shirt mindlessly, “but, not because you didn’t know her.”
“I’m kind of lost then,” she admitted. “I mean everything you’ve
just told me…it’s not exactly new information. I’ve always known
how reflective you can be, how quiet and contemplative you are.”
She reminded her girlfriend. “I’ve always known just how close
you are to Dinah…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 11/18 “Lauren,” Camila interrupted.
“You’re not meeting Camila tonight because you didn’t know her
but, because I didn’t.” “What do you mean?” Lauren questioned.
“You’ve always known who I was Lauren,” Camila informed her
simply. “It might have been difficult for you to separate the parts
of me that were purely a result of the accident from those which
were inherent parts of my personality at times but, deep down
you always knew just who I was.” She told her, speaking the last
few words slowly and drawing them out to make her point. “It
was me that didn’t,” she continued, “but, I do now. I know who I
am again and the stupid thing is that I’m the same person that I’ve
 always been…Ijust…I couldn’t see it before today.” Camila sighed
heavily before continuing. “Lauren, the truth is that there are only
two people who really know the real me,” Camila said separating
their mouths and locking her hazelnut eyes on the green of her
girlfriends. “There are only two people that I really feel
comfortable sharing everything with; that get to see all of me,
even the parts that I don’t necessarily like very much.” “Camz…”
Lauren started but Camila reached down and squeezed one of
Lauren’s hands to stop her midsentence. “There’s Dinah…” Camila
stated obviously, her voice trailing off as she leant forward, “and
then there’s you.” Camila paused for a moment and picked up
one of Lauren’s hands. “You fell in love with the real me long
before I ever did.” Camila said; stroking the base of Lauren’s
thumb soothingly, her mouth only inches from the taller girls,
their eyes burning in to one another’s. “Camz are you saying what
Ithink you are?” Lauren asked. “I’m saying that this is as good as it
gets Lauren,” Camila exhaled. “I’m saying that in my mind I’m as
recovered as I’m ever going to be and I know that physically I’m
not as good as I was before. I understand that I’m never going to
get back to the function that I used to have, I do…I know that but,
I’m saying that it doesn’t matter. That it’s ok. It’s ok Lauren,” she
said pointedly, brushing some of Lauren’s hair back out of her
eyes. “It’s ok because the person that I am now; the one that has
a family who has sacrificed everything for her over the last year,
the one whose best friend has stood by her even when at times
she tried so hard to push her away, the one who has an incredible
girlfriend that she loves with all her heart, a girlfriend that loves
her back despite all the trouble they’ve faced…well, Ilove her.”
Camila said. “Ilove her, I do.” “You do?” Lauren asked choking
back a sob, touched by Camila’s words. “Yeah I do,” Camila
replied, “I love her and I love this life and all the extraordinary
people that she’s been blessed to share it with.” “Really?” Lauren
asked. “Really,” Camila responded honestly. “It’s taken me so long
to get to this point Lauren and it’s been so incredibly hard but
you’ve been so patient with me…” she trailed off wistfully. “You
accepted me for who I was just like Dinah did. When I was too
depressed to pull myself out of bed you’d just sit with me. You’d
just be there and that meant more to me than anything because it
made me feel like the way I was feeling was valid, like it was ok for
me not to be alright…like…” Camila trailed off, wiping at her damp
eyes. “I’m sorry,” she apologised, sniffing as she leant back away
from her girlfriend. “Don’t be,” Lauren told her, wiping at Camila’s
cheek with the pad of her thumb. “It’s just…you understood that I
just needed some time…” Camila went on. “I just…I needed time
to get better…” “I know,” Lauren said, caressing the side of
Camila’s face with her fingertips lightly. “Thank you,” Camila
practically whispered, nodding her head. “What for?” Lauren
queried, her brow furrowing slightly in her confusion. “For giving
me the time that I needed and for not rushing me to get to a place
that I wasn’t ready for,” Camila explained. “For not pushing me
 before I was ready. I can never give that time back to you and I
can never thank you enough for the time that you gave me.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 12/18 “You just did,” Lauren replied
seriously, smiling. “Hearing you say that…it’s payment enough. It’s
more than enough.” “You asked me earlier why I’d never brought
you here…” Camila said, reaching up and subduing Lauren’s hand
which was still caressing her face by capturing her wrist. “You
asked me why I’d never spoken about it before…” “Yes,” Lauren
acknowledged, lowering her hand in to her lap. “Well, it because
this place is special to me,” Camila started to explain, placing her
own hand on top of Lauren’s. “It’s mine and Dinah’s. Somewhere
that we’d come together to escape from reality for a bit. When
we were alone here we’d pretend that we were stuck on a desert
island, just the two of us.” She continued. “We’d tell each other
secrets and talk about whatever we wanted to. Stupid things
mostly,” Camila admitted, chuckling lightly despite her tears. She
picked up her girlfriend’s hand and linked their fingers together.
“After the accident, everything in my life felt tainted.” Camila
started to explain. “Everything felt like it had changed because of
my depression and nothing felt the same anymore.” She shared.
“My mood, it ruined everything and I couldn’t enjoy the things
that I had done before. I didn’t feel comfortable at home,” Camila
continued. “I felt like I was a nuisance…like I was a burden…like I
didn’t belong there…my mom, she was either fussing over me
 constantly or tiptoeing around my feelings…so, I looked forward
to the school year, to getting back to some kind of normality, to
escaping the house only…school was different too…harder and
even more uncomfortable then my house…” “I know Camz,”
Lauren reassured her. “I read your diary. I remember what you
wrote in it and how you felt.” “The accident managed to distort
them both,” Camila explained. “It corrupted them and turned
them into places that I couldn’t really stand to be for any
prolonged length of time. I felt like I was trapped and festering
when I was in both. I mean, I couldn’t bear everyone looking at
me like I was an invalid at school but I felt the same way when I
saw the smile on my mom’s face that didn’t quite reach her eyes
because she was faking it for my benefit.” “You were worried that
if you came back here, that if you talked about it then it’d be
spoilt as well?” Lauren queried. “I wanted to try to keep
something for myself.” Camila responded. “I just wanted one
thing to remain untarnished, to stay the same as it was before and
I was worried that if I came here again then it’d be ruined…that I
would somehow manage to ruin it. Does that sound stupid?” “No,
it doesn’t sound stupid,” Lauren reassured Camila, offering her a
warm smile. Camila reached over then and pulled the holdall that
she’d brought with them closer to her side. “Tonight when we
were talking in the courtyard I finally realised something,” she
started, opening the large compartment of the bag while Lauren
watched. “I realised that the only thing that had really changed
after the accident was my perception of who I was, that in reality I
was still the same person that I’d always been, even if my body
didn’t quite work in the same way.” She finished, pulling out a
small, lockable, wooden box from inside the bag and handing it to
Lauren. “You helped me realise that.” Camila informed her. “It
was because of what you’d said, you know, about me not being
ready to go up on stage to sing with you,” she continued, pulling
out a lanyard from the bag and draping it over her hand so that
Lauren could see a small silver key attached to it. “That was when
everything just kind of fell in to place for me. That I finally
understood.” Camila held out the small key for Lauren to take.
“What’s this?” Lauren asked; reaching forward and retrieving the
lanyard from Camila’s grasp. “Every year since we were thirteen,
on the first day of summer vacation, Dinah and I would come
down here and we’d spend the day planning what we were going
to going to do over the break,” Camila responded whilst Lauren
studied the two objects she now held in her hand. “We’d bring my
guitar and we’d write songs together…” “Seriously?” Lauren
asked, surprised by the admission.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 13/18 “Yeah,” Camila replied, her mouth
curving up in to a smile. “I think we spoke about it once before…”
“The first day of school at lunch,” Lauren remembered easily at
the prompt, pointing in Camila’s direction. “We were talking
about the accident and Dinah asked you if you missed your life
 before…” “Wait. Was it really that long ago?” Camila queried
uncertainly. “Yes,” Lauren answered. “You said that you missed
writing and Ally asked you if meant stories but, you said you’d
meant ‘songs.’ “Huh,” Camila said thoughtfully, “Well, anyway,
we’d come down here for the whole day and we’d bring a picnic
with us.” Camila continued. “We’d go swimming and we’d mess
around in the water, having competitions to see who could go out
in to the sea the furthest and still touch the floor without
disappearing beneath the water…” “Let me guess,” Lauren began,
entertained by the information. “Dinah always won.” “Dinah’s a
giant,” Camila returned, laughing. “Of course she won.” Camila
slid the bag out of the way and shifted her position on the blanket
so that she was next to Lauren. “At the end of that day, Dinah and
I would always sit down and we’d look at the predictions we’d
made for one another the year before,” she divulged. “Then, we’d
write some for the next year and we’d put them back in this box
and store them in my closet until the start of the following
summer.” Camila pointed at the small box in Lauren’s hand,
leaning forward slightly so that she was resting her elbows on her
knees. “It’s time Dinah…” Lauren recalled, remembering Camila’s
words to her best friend from earlier as she realised that the
school year was all but over. “Open it,” Camila encouraged
Lauren, who looked at her stunned, feeling as though she was
intruding on something she shouldn’t be privy to. “Camz, I can’t
do that.” Lauren said, handing the box and key back to her. “This
 is something that you do with Dinah…it’s not my place…”
“Please,” Camila begged, “Dinah won’t mind, I promise. She
knows why I brought you here…” “Are you sure?” Lauren asked
and Camila nodded her head. “Yes,” Camila replied simply.
“Alright then,” Lauren said, placing the small key in the lock and
unfastening it smoothly. She lifted the lid on the box and placed it
on the blanket in front of her before removing two pieces of
folded up paper, ‘Mila’ written on the front of one in Dinah’s
handwriting and ‘Dinah’ on the other in a script Lauren didn’t
recognise. Lauren held the second piece of paper so that Camila
could read her best friends’ name. “Is this your handwriting?”
Lauren asked in wonder at seeing the tidy cursive on the page. “It
was,” Camila replied, taking the folded up leaf of legal paper from
Lauren’s grasp and tracing the line of text with her index finger
sentimentally. “It’s so different…” Lauren noted as Camila handed
it back to her and clenched her right hand significantly; the poor
coordination that remained in it after the accident the reason her
handwriting would never appear that way again. “What does it
say?” Camila asked her. “You don’t remember?” Lauren returned.
“No,” Camila answered honestly. “It was only a few days later that
the accident happened…I have no idea what I wrote.” “You
weren’t tempted to look?” Lauren questioned playfully, unfolding
the page. “That’s not how this works,” Camila responded, smiling.
“It wouldn’t be fair to cheat.” “It’s a game?” Lauren said
perceptively.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 14/18 “Not really but neither of us knows
what the other one has written until the following summer,”
Camila informed her. “When we do look at them again we just see
who came closest with their predictions.” “Does that person win
something?” Lauren asked. “No,” Camila laughed. “It’s just a
stupid tradition.” Lauren glanced down at the page in her hand
and read what Camila had written, her eyes still not quite
believing that the easily legible script was once her girlfriend’s.
“Well,” Camila prompted when Lauren didn’t say anything. “What
does it say?” Lauren lifted her eyes to meet Camila’s and handed
her the page to read for herself. “1. You will get an A+ in your
American literature final. 2. You will play the ultimate prank on
me. 3. You will still not have legitimately beaten me in the hot
wing challenge. 4. You will finally stop making me watch ‘The
Vampire Diaries’ with you. 5. You will still be my best friend” “I
suppose two out of five isn’t bad,” Camila acknowledged shaking
her head in amusement. “She still is my best friend and she still
hasn’t beaten me in the hot wing challenge.” “She always makes
us watch ‘The Vampire Diaries’ when we’re at her house,” Lauren
chuckled, “Nina Dobrev is easy on the eyes though so I can’t
complain too much,” she teased her girlfriend who gave her a
disapproving look in return. “What did she get on her American
Literature final in the end?” she asked. “She got a C,” Camila
replied, folding up the paper again. “I was going to help her out
 this year but…you know…I struggled just keeping up with my own
studies,” she said, sounding remorseful. “I assume that she didn’t
play the ultimate prank on you?” Lauren questioned, taking the
page back from Camila and placing it into the wooden box for safe
keeping. “No,” Camila responded. “Not after the accident
happened.” “Is she really that good at them?” Lauren asked
fascinatedly. “Just wait,” Camila warned. “I’m sure that you’ll find
out just how good she is at some point.” “Here,” Lauren said,
holding out Dinah’s predictions to Camila. “You should read these
first.” Camila looked at the paper indecisively for a moment
before taking it from Lauren “Ok,” she agreed, opening it carefully
and smiling as her eyes scanned the writing on the page. She
laughed as she reached the end and folded it back in half. “What’s
so funny?” Lauren asked and Camila gave her the predictions to
read. “1. You will finally learn not to care what people think of
your ‘awesome’ dance skills 2. You will realise that you’re actually
a talented guitar player and will win the school talent competition
by singing one of your own songs. 3. I will defeat you in the hot
wing challenge. 4. You will eat four whole pizzas in one sitting. 5.
You will have your first kiss and fall in love” “I guess it’s a tie,”
Lauren said, folding up the paper and putting it in the box on top
of the first one. “Looks like it,” Camila agreed; her mouth quirking
up in to a sad halfsmile. “What’s wrong?” Lauren asked, sensing
the subtle shift in Camila’s expression. “It’s nothing really,” Camila
said unconvincingly.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 15/18 “You’re an awful liar Camz,” Lauren
commented. “Fine,” Camila relented, “It’s just that I did have my
first kiss,” she acknowledged, twisting on the spot to face Lauren,
“but, I guess I’m still kind of upset that I can’t remember it…”
“We’ve talked about this before babe,” Lauren said, rubbing
Camila’s upper arm comfortingly. “You remember the next one…”
“Oh yeah,” Camila scoffed lightly, cutting her off. “You mean the
desperate attempt that I made to kiss you? The kiss that you
quickly rejected?” “Exactly…” Lauren responded, making a face at
the realisation that it wasn’t exactly the best memory for her
girlfriend to have of her first ever kiss. “I guess I just pictured it
differently that’s all,” Camila admitted. “I thought it would be like
in the movies and I’d be all nervous. I didn’t think it would be
rushed and frantic in the middle of the street outside my house.
Ithought it would be more romantic.” Lauren looked at Camila
closely, studying her features. “Ok,” she said, a thought coming to
her. “So, you didn’t like the memory you have of your first
kiss…well then, let’s make another one.” “Are you serious?”
Camila asked, releasing a quick breath in something that sounded
a lot like mocking. “Do you know how many times we’ve kissed
since then?” “Ithink I have a pretty good idea,” Lauren said, tilting
her head slightly. “I appreciate the gesture but…you can’t just
create another first kiss because you didn’t like your actual one.”
Camila reasoned. “Why not?” Lauren questioned. “Well….because
 your first kiss is your first kiss,” Camila said. “You only get one.
Anything afterwards doesn’t count.” “Who says?” Lauren argued.
“Everyone,” Camila replied. “Not me.” Lauren disagreed, reaching
forward and cupping Camila’s cheek with the palm of one of her
hands. “I say that we can do whatever we want. I mean, tonight is
kind of a fresh start right? It’s just you and me…together…” she
trailed off, watching as Camila’s eyes lowered to her lips. “Plus,
it’s the perfect setting…” Lauren continued as Camila’s eyes
darted back up to meet hers, the smaller girl biting down on her
bottom lip thoughtfully as she considered Lauren’s offer. “You
really want to rewrite our first kiss?” Camila asked; swallowing
hard as Lauren moved her face closer to her girlfriend’s. “What if
it isn’t as good as the one that you remember?” “It’ll be better,”
Lauren promised confidently, her free hand finding its way to
Camila’s side. “No pressure then,” Camila tried to joke as Lauren
shifted her weight and dropped her voice lower. “What’s wrong?”
Lauren asked; bringing her mouth close to Camila’s so that the
smaller girl could feel the warmth of her breath against her skin.
“Are you nervous?” “A little,” Camila admitted, lifting her hand up
hesitantly to Lauren’s shoulder as her girlfriend continued to edge
forward slowly. Camila moved her head back slightly and had to
stick out one hand to stop herself from falling back on to the
blanket when Lauren continued to close the distance between
them. “Lauren,” Camila said, noticing the pleased smile on the
greeneyed girls face. “What if I ruin your memory of it?” she
questioned. “You won’t,” Lauren assured her. Camila dropped her
gaze to Lauren’s lips again and inhaled deeply, her breath catching
in her throat, evidently still unconvinced. “It’s ok,” Lauren
whispered to her. “You don’t need to be nervous.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/85475942137/trialsand-
tribulationschapter78 16/18 “I can’t help it,” Camila said,
swallowing hard, her heart pounding loudly in her ears at Lauren’s
close proximity to her. “Camz, you have to be the one to do it,”
Lauren informed her sensitively. “You have to kiss me first.”
“Why?” Camila exhaled quietly, her mouth growing dry with its
thirst for Lauren’s. “You were always the one to initiate it,” Lauren
said softly. “It was always you that kissed me first.” “Alright,”
Camila said, moistening her lips with her tongue and pushing
herself forward with her hand. Lauren moved back in response,
but kept their mouths close, her eyes never leaving Camila’s.
Camila lifted up her hand and traced the outline of Lauren’s lips
with her fingertips lightly as she admired the contours of her
girlfriend’s mouth along with the feel of her soft flesh beneath her
touch. Finally, she closed her eyes and steeled herself, her
fingertips sliding round so that the palm of her hand was resting
against Lauren’s cheek as she brought their mouths closer
together. Lauren’s eyes remained open and she watched as
Camila pressed her lips tentatively against her own, only closing
them when Camila moved her hand to the back of Lauren’s neck
and entwined her fingers with the hair at her nape. Lauren felt
Camila’s lips press against hers more firmly and her mouth started
to move timidly, as though every memory of every kiss they’d
ever shared had vanished from her mind completely. Lauren
matched Camila’s pace easily, not pushing to deepen the kiss but
instead enjoying the simplicity of it, the way it had somehow
managed to make her own stomach fill with excited butterflies,
how it seemed innocent and new despite the fact that it wasn’t.
“Was…was that ok?” Camila asked nervously when she finally
parted their mouths and sat back so that she could see Lauren
clearly. “See,” Lauren said, tracing the scar on Camila’s forehead
delicately with her thumb and smiling affectionately at her
girlfriend. “Itold you it’d be better.” “It was?” Camila asked. “Do
you remember it?” Lauren questioned. “Yes,” Camila answered.
“Then it was better,” Lauren said a huge grin spreading across her
face as she pulled Camila’s mouth towards hers again and kissed
her deeply, her tongue wasting no time in finding her girlfriend’s
as she leant her body weight against her, pressing her back on to
the blanket. A/N: So as you can see, this chapter is super long and
it’s not completely finished yet so because I’ve made you wait, I
decided to split it. Hope it’s not complete crap, but, if it is I can
only apologise.
Chapter 79
“Mmm…” Camila murmured, as Lauren’s tongue tangled with her
own as her small hands automatically found their way round her
girlfriend’s torso and began to roam her back. Lauren pressed her
weight in to Camila’s frame, flattening her girlfriend’s’ spine in to
the ground further, her hands pushing up the bottom of Camila’s
hoody to expose her soft, delicate flesh to the elements. “We
can’t…” Camila puffed out quickly, parting them, her mouth
missing Lauren’s almost immediately despite her words and
returning to it without delay. She moved both her hands round to
rest on either side of Lauren’s pelvis, sucking enthusiastically on
the greeneyed girl’s lower lip and Lauren reciprocated Camila’s
eagerness gladly, one knee sliding automatically in between the
smaller girls’ legs as the fingertips of her right hand traced a faint
path along the length of the scar on Camila’s left flank. She could
feel her girlfriend’s skin prickle beneath her touch, her caress
causing goose pimples to appear in its wake as if by magic. “Ok,”
Lauren said simply, her left hand occupying itself by playing with
Camila’s long sleek hair, apparently ignoring her girlfriend’s half-
hearted objection. “Lauren,” Camila tried to protest again,
exhaling noisily, her hands once again ignoring her brains
commands to stop and slipping underneath the taller girl’s white
tank top to rub lightly at her sides. Camila bent one leg up and
pressed her knee against the side of Lauren’s hip, using it as
leverage to pull her girlfriend’s pelvis even closer against her.
“Yeah babe,” Lauren said breathily, retreating from the kiss for a
moment to look upon her girlfriend’s alluring features, the hand
that had been engaged with Camila’s hair lowering to rest against
the side of her neck. Her thumb stroked the skin there soothingly,
 her eyes searching Camila’s and making her resolve crumble.
“Nothing,” Camila said simply, all thoughts of dissent now gone.
Lauren brought her lips back down to meet Camila’s again before
moving their attention to the hollow of the smaller girl’s neck
where they left a trail of kisses along the line of her jaw from
throat to ear. Camila extended her neck at the sensation,
exposing her throat even further and silently encouraging Lauren
to repeat the process once more. Lauren complied willingly and
kissed Camila’s neck again as she slid her right hand skilfully along
her girlfriend’s scar to rest against her ribs. After relishing in the
pleasure of Lauren’s mouth against the sensitive skin of her neck,
Camila turned her head to the side impatiently and Lauren
brought her swollen lips back to meet her girlfriend’s again.
“Mmmm,” Camila groaned again, her tongue finding its way back
in to Lauren’s mouth whilst her hands wandered down towards
the waistband of her denim shorts. The fingertips of both hands
grazed the flesh of Lauren’s hips momentarily before following
the fabric round to meet in the middle and play with the fastening
at the front.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 2/20 Lauren gasped, a little surprised at the
subtle shift in dominance but unsure why; after all, this wasn’t the
first time that Camila had taken control during similar situations,
the memory of when her girlfriend had unapologetically ripped
the shirt from her body on the day she’d returned from rehab
 coming quickly to mind. Camila struggled to shift her weight
beneath Lauren and prop herself up on to her elbows, her
abdominal muscles tensing beneath the taller girl’s digits which
were still stroking her abdomen. “Wait,” Lauren instructed; her
mouth separating regretfully from Camila’s, her mind astutely
aware that her girlfriend’s clumsy and uncoordinated fingers were
struggling with the button of her shorts. Camila obeyed, her
hands ceasing the effortful task they’d been preoccupied with as
Lauren sat up and on to her knees which was still wedged
between Camila’s legs as she straddled her girlfriend’s left leg.
“Here, sit up,” Lauren commanded gently, her eyes fixing on
Camila’s dilated pupils and noticing the way that her chest heaved
heavily, her lungs taking in large gulps of air as she fought to catch
her breath. She gestured Camila towards her and the smaller girl
pushed herself up into a sitting position as Lauren reached down
to tug on the bottom of her hoody. She pulled it up over Camila’s
head with some difficulty to reveal the form fitting grey tshirt that
she wore beneath it then discarded the sweater to one side
hurriedly before finally turning her attention to her own attire.
Her fingers nimbly manipulated the button of her shorts and
when it was finally unfastened Camila reached up and took hold
of Lauren’s shirt, pulling it back off her shoulders, Lauren
shrugging out of it easily so that it fell on to the blanket behind
her. Once Lauren was free of it, Camila wrapped one hand round
the back of her neck and settled the other against the middle of
 her back, bringing their lips together again hungrily and pulling
Lauren down on top of her once more. “Camz,” Lauren said
breathily, having sucked lightly on Camila’s bottom lip to part
their mouths, her head lifting up so that she could meet the
smaller girl’s gaze squarely, desperate to get something off her
chest. Her mind was starting to finally catch up to what was
happening between them and she began to feel uneasy that this
was where the night was leading. “Camz,” Lauren repeated again
when Camila’s hand returned to her denim shorts, her small
thumbs hooking around the belt loops and tugging on them gently
in order to bring their hips together. She pushed herself up on to
extended arms in an attempt to maintain some distance between
them. “Yeah,” Camila responded, moving forwards and taking
Lauren’s mouth in her own again, her hands grasping hold of
Lauren’s upper arms in an attempt to displace them from their
current position and bring them together once more. She was
eager to feel Lauren’s body pressed against her own but she
struggled to shift her girlfriend’s weight, Lauren’s strength easily
withstanding hers. “Babe,” Lauren tried again, the word escaping
from her mouth in a gasp as she took a quick opportunity to catch
her breath. “Yeah,” Camila responded again, equally as winded,
her voice quiet and rasping as she met Lauren’s emerald eyes. Her
tone was etched with a hint of irritation at her failure to dislodge
Lauren and she rubbed the top of the taller girl’s arms trying to
determine what it was about them that was making the task so
 difficult. “Thank you for sharing all this with me,” Lauren exhaled
appreciatively, the gravity of her girlfriend’s gesture tonight not
lost on her. She lifted one hand up, careful to keep her balance
and brushed some of Camila’s hair back out of her eyes so that
she could see them clearly. “That’s seriously why you’re stopping
right now?” Camila panted, chuckling softly, a warm smile lighting
up her face in amusement. “So that you can thank me?” “No,”
Lauren lied, her chest still heaving as she sat up slightly, a small
laugh escaping her lips now that Camila had drawn attention to
how ridiculous her behaviour probably seemed to her, especially
when they were in the middle of something that required very
little words and she’d been the person to initiate it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 3/20 “Yes it was,” Camila said knowingly as
she propped herself up on to her elbows, her grin growing wide at
the crimson blush that filled Lauren’s cheeks. “No it wasn’t,”
Lauren protested lamely, ducking her eyes to avoid Camila’s. “It
was just…Ithought I should try to preserve your innocence, that’s
all.” She continued, lifting them again, her hand stroking the
smaller girl’s hair line reflexively. “It’s a little bit late in our
relationship for that. Don’t you think?” Camila replied, her eyes
narrowing playfully and her tongue poking momentarily through
her teeth as she smiled. “What are you talking about?” Lauren
asked, feigning spirited confusion. “I’ve only just met you
tonight…” “Oh really?” Camila interceded, placing a hand on her
chest, her heart still beating wildly from their recent activities, her
voice trailing off quietly as she cocked an eyebrow in mock
disbelief. “Yes,” Lauren answered, the hand that had been
caressing Camila’s brow dropping a little lower to trace the scar
on her forehead instead. “I’m not going to sleep with you on the
first date Camila,” she informed her, purposefully using her
girlfriend’s full name for effect. “I’m not that kind of girl. I do have
some standards you know.” She continued. “How easy do you
think I am exactly?” she asked, shaking her head in amusement
when Camila gave her a pointed look in response. “Well,” Camila
started matter of factly as she sat up tall, Lauren shifting her
position on the blanket to allow her the room to manoeuvre. “If
all that’s really true and you have only just met me then I’ve done
some seriously inappropriate things with someone that looked
suspiciously like you.” She divulged teasingly, tucking her legs
underneath her so that they weren’t the cause of any
unnecessary distance between them. “There was actually this one
time in a movie theatre…” she went on, her words lost mid-
sentence when Lauren sloped forward and planted another more
virtuous kiss against her lips. “Don’t,” Lauren scolded her good-
naturedly, her eyes studying Camila’s face and absorbing its
smooth contours admiringly when she sat back once more. “We
could do this all night if we wanted to” she finished, knowing how
easily Camila’s imagination took over in situations like these and
quickly realising that if they followed their usual routine, her
 girlfriend would begin to concoct all kinds of fictitious and over
embellished scenarios in her head in response to the desperate
effort that she’d made to mask her embarrassment at her
behaviour. “Fine,” Camila relented, sighing heavily now that their
apparent game was over. “Just remember that you started it
though,” she reminded her, reaching for Lauren’s hand now that
they were sat up facing each other again. She rubbed the back of
it fondly with her thumb out of habit; a warm smile present on
her face which Lauren didn’t think would be disappearing any
time soon, Camila seemingly enjoying their lighthearted banter.
“Ok,” Lauren said, accepting responsibility without any argument.
“I will.” “Now, where were we?” Camila asked, her eyes finding
Lauren’s lips and settling there as she ran her tongue meaningfully
along her own lower one, apparently keen to pick up right where
they’d left off. She bit down on one corner of her mouth carefully,
her eyes lowering alluringly and then elevating to meet Lauren’s
again, a silent question exchanging between the two of them.
Lauren wore a contrite look as a slow breath passed through her
pursed lips and she reached a hand up to gently brush her
fingertips against Camila’s cheek, studying her face closely, her
piercing green eyes searching for an inoffensive excuse not to
continue with their previous antics. “What’s wrong? Camila asked
her, sensing Lauren’s sudden reluctance. “Nothing’s wrong,”
Lauren answered honestly, “Ijust…Ilove you.” “Ilove you too,”
Camila returned happily, making a move to kiss Lauren again.
 Lauren allowed Camila to kiss her tenderly but the passion that
they’d shared a few minutes ago was lacking and she knew that
the smaller girl felt it when she abandoned her attempt,
appearing a little injured by the sleight. “I’m sorry,” Lauren sighed,
squeezing Camila’s hand.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 4/20 “I don’t understand,” Camila told her
honestly. “Did I do something wrong?” “No,” Lauren reassured
her quickly, the hand that had been stroking Camila’s cheek now
cupping the side of her face. “Not at all.” “So then what’s the
problem?” Camila questioned her. “It just…” Lauren started,
unable to easily communicate her hesitance. “It’s just what?”
Camila asked, her forehead creasing and causing her nose to
scrunch up as a result. “Ithought that you wanted to…I mean it
felt like you wanted to…” “I did,” Lauren practically sighed,
expelling a large breath. “So then…I’m confused.” Camila told her
truthfully. “Camz you didn’t want to,” Lauren said simply. “Not to
start with.” “I know but…I’m an idiot.” Camila joked. “You
shouldn’t listen to a word I say.” She informed her, tipping herself
forward on to her knees in a further attempt to resume where’d
they left off, her mouth hovering close to Lauren’s. “My brain and
my mouth very rarely agree with one another” she whispered
seductively. “You should know that by now.” Camila tilted her
head to the side slightly so that she could plant another kiss
against Lauren’s lips but the taller girl pressed one hand against
 her chest and gently pushed her back in to a sitting position.
“Camz,” she objected apologetically. “You’re not an idiot.” She
said, her hand cupping the side of her girlfriend’s face again.
“Besides, I love listening to you speak.” She told her. “You should
know that by now.” “Oh,” Camila said, the realisation coming to
her suddenly. “You just want to talk?” Camila asked, instantly
causing a sense of relief to wash over the taller girl. The last thing
that Lauren wanted to do was hurt Camila’s feelings because she
enjoyed the physical intimacy that they shared considerably. In
fact, that was part of the reason that she’d initially started to
move things in that direction to begin with. However, as they’d
continued and things had become more heated between them,
she realised that this wasn’t how she wanted to spend the rest of
their evening together. Lauren didn’t want to celebrate something
as important as Camila’s rediscovered identity by doing the exact
same thing that the majority of their classmates would be doing
tonight. This evening was much more significant than two people
coming together and consummating their relationship. She and
Camila had already done that and as much as Lauren enjoyed it, it
just didn’t seem like it was substantial enough to mark this
particular occasion. Camila meant more to Lauren than just that.
“Is that ok?” she asked hesitantly. “Sure,” Camila agreed as she
entwined their hands together and lifted them to her lips, kissing
the back of Lauren’s in response to her question. “Camz you know
that I love being with you,” Lauren said, feeling like she had to
 justify herself despite Camila’s easy acceptance. “It just…it didn’t
feel right that we should celebrate how far you’ve come by…you
know…” “Making each other come?” Camila offered light-
heartedly in an attempt to reassure Lauren, struggling to keep a
straight face, obviously amused by her own joke. “Exactly,” Lauren
answered grinning broadly, a throaty chuckle escaping her lips at
Camila’s quick wit. “I think you felt that way too,” she suggested
uncertainly. “That’s why you objected to begin with…” Camila
leant her head back and closed her eyes as she groaned audibly.
“It started to feel so good though,” Camila complained, huffing
loudly as she lowered her head again to look at Lauren. “You
made me all confused with the way that you were touching me.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, smiling at the adorable expression Camila
wore; the small girl appearing extremely grumpy, her face
scrunched up tightly but coupled with the cutest pout Lauren had
ever seen. “You know you shouldn’t kiss people like that and then
just stop because you’ve changed your mind,” she grumbled. “You
were starting to undress me and everything.” She went on.
“You’re such a tease.” She reprimanded. “You completely won me
over and then, what?” she asked, playfully as she laughed. “You
got performance anxiety?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 5/20 “Yeah, that’s exactly it Camz,” Lauren
chuckled. “I just couldn’t handle the pressure,” she said. “This is
your favourite place after all. What if I ruined it? You’d never
forgive me and I couldn’t have that on my conscious now could I?”
“That’s true,” Camila said thoughtfully still smiling brightly. “I
definitely couldn’t continue to date you if that happened. That is
probably the worst thing that you could do in our relationship if
I’m honest.” “Really? You mean it would be worse than me
cheating on you?” Lauren asked entertained. “Much worse!”
Camila told her. “Stabbing me in the neck would probably hurt
less than you ruining this place for me.” “So, I guess you’re ok that
we stopped then?” Lauren asked her. “Yeah, I’m ok,” Camila
reassured her again, planting a quick, soft kiss against her lips to
demonstrate the truth of her words. Lauren squeezed Camila’s
hand gratefully and turned her attention to the ocean, her eyes
falling on to the reflection of the moon as it glistened in the water
whilst Camila sat watching her silently, waiting for her to say
something. “So?” Camila prompted her when a few minutes had
passed and she’d still not said anything. “What do you want to
talk about?” “I don’t know,” she answered honestly, turning her
attention to Camila. “I guess I could start by thanking you again
for bringing me here,” she said, repeating her earlier sentiment,
her eyes studying the scar on Camila’s forehead as she spoke. She
paused for a moment and lifted her free hand to run her index
finger lightly along the imperfection. “You know, I really am
touched that you would share all this with me,” she said,
indicating the beach and the box of predictions on the blanket
beside them with an almost imperceptible tilt of her head, her
 eyes fixing on her girlfriend’s. “Especially because it’s something
special to you and Dinah,” she continued, feeling for some reason
that it was important for her to acknowledge that she didn’t take
Camila’s wonderful act of openness for granted. “Ifeel very
privileged to be introduced to a place and a tradition that clearly
means a lot to you.” “You’re welcome,” Camila accepted humbly,
smiling at Lauren softly. “You know that you didn’t have to bring
me here.” Lauren commented seriously. “Yes, I did.” Camila
disagreed, cutting her off before she could go any further with her
thought. “Camz, I would have understood if you’d wanted to keep
it just between you and Dinah.” Lauren said. “Maybe,” Camila
said, “but I wanted to bring you here tonight.” “Can I ask why?”
Lauren questioned her interestedly. “Lauren, this place…” Camila
started, sighing. “It’s filled with only good memories; memories of
all the time that I’ve spent here over the years with everyone that
I love. I don’t have one single bad recollection of this place. It was
my safe haven; my refuge; a place that I could come to escape
from the things that were troubling me.” She shared. “Just being
here made me feel better; made the weight of my worries
evaporate in to thin air like they were nothing. There were no
cares here, no concerns or anxieties. There were only dreams,
ambitions; hopes.” She imparted with a thoughtful look on her
face. “This is the place where I felt safest, where I’d come to seek
comfort. It used to put my mind at ease almost instantly
whenever I was here; its tranquillity, its familiarity, its stunning
 beauty used to settle me in a way that nothing else could.” She
divulged. “I wasn’t sure it still would after the accident.” She
explained openly. “My problems seemed too big to be forgotten
even with its help. So you see; I didn’t just want to bring you here
with me tonight Lauren. I had to. I had to bring you here because I
love you and if I had any chance of preserving my previous
sanctuary after everything that I’ve been through, of not tainting
it or tarnishing it, well…it would be with the person who has come
in to my life and so effortlessly taken its place.” “What?” Lauren
said stunned by Camila’s compliment; the hand which had been
grazing her girlfriend’s scar mindlessly while she’d been talking
coming to a sudden halt.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 6/20 “You heard me,” Camila replied. “My
sanctuary; my safe haven…it’s no longer just a place. It’s a person
too. It’s you.” She reached up to take Lauren’s now stationary
hand so that she was holding it in her own. “You’re where I feel
safest.” She clarified eloquently. “You’re where I go to seek
comfort. You’re as beautiful…no,” she said decisively. “You’re
more beautiful than when this entire beach is bathed in all the
magnificent colours of the sunset.” She paused to inhale an easy
breath before continuing, the thumbs of both hands grazing the
soft skin on the back of Lauren’s steadily. “I don’t think I could ask
for a more perfect way to celebrate finally finding myself again
then by introducing the two of you to one another.” she said
seriously. “Why not start the next chapter of my life with the one
person that I love in the place that I love. Why not start the next
chapter of my life in my idea of paradise?” Lauren faintly shook
her head from side to side in admiration of Camila’s sentiment
and extricated her hands from her girlfriend’s grasp so that she
could cup her face, her lips finding their way to Camila’s mouth
and answering the commendation the only way that she knew
how to in that moment. It was exactly these instances between
her and Camila that Lauren treasured more than anything, the
way that Camila’s words could so easily turn from cheerful joking
to articulate and powerful romanticism, the way that they could
move her without even the slightest hint of effort, the way that
each syllable would just somehow manage to roll off her tongue
when at other times she struggled so hard to even express
herself. It was as though these words were meant to be spoken
out loud, like God himself had ordained them to meet her ears,
like he’d chosen Camila for exactly that purpose. “You’re
amazing,” Lauren told her when they’d parted, one hand trailing
down to rest on Camila’s shoulder whilst the other sought out her
scar automatically. “Only to you,” Camila returned, examining
Lauren’s face, her girlfriend’s eyes still preoccupied with the
blemish her fingertips were slowly caressing. The smaller girl
reached up and stayed Lauren’s hand with her own so that her
girlfriend’s fingers hung suspended in the air by her left temple,
now redundant. “Why do you do that?” Camila asked, scrutinising
 Lauren’s face searchingly. “Do what?” Lauren questioned, her
emerald eyes finding Camila’s hazelnut ones. “Stroke my scar like
that?” she clarified, releasing Lauren’s hand which almost
immediately returned to its previous endeavour. “Like this?”
Lauren asked and Camila closed her eyes and nodded, enjoying
her girlfriend’s delicate touch against her skin. “Yeah, like that.”
Camila answered, her eyes fluttering open again. “You always do
it. It’s like you’re fascinated with it.” “No, I’m not fascinated with
it Camz.” She stated honestly, having previously told Camila that
she didn’t know why she often found herself subconsciously
drawn towards the scar which stood out so obviously above her
left eyebrow. “I’m fascinated with you.” “Why?” Camila asked, her
turn to press Lauren for answers to the questions that she had.
Lauren sighed heavily and leant forward to place a quick, faint kiss
against the scar which had sparked the topic of conversation, her
hand sliding around to rest of the side of Camila’s neck out of the
way. “Well…” Lauren said, pausing to think for just a brief
moment before continuing. “It’s because you’ve been a paradox
ever since the moment that I met you,” Lauren explained, running
the hand that had been cradling Camila’s neck through her own
hair. “You were a lesson in contradictions Camz; the girl who
couldn’t speak but had so much of worth to say, who wanted so
desperately to learn but couldn’t concentrate long enough to
retain anything that she read, who wanted to be ordinary when
she’d never be anything but exceptional. You were a puzzle that I
 wanted to solve; an enigma that I wanted to unravel. It intrigued
me how one person could be so at war with herself.” “So do you
think you’ve finally solved me?” Camila asked.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 7/20 “No,” Lauren said, one corner of her
mouth turning up in to a crooked smile as she tucked a loose
strand of hair behind Camila’s ear. “I don’t think I’d ever want to
completely. Ilike that you’re constantly surprising me.” Camila
lowered her gaze to the floor selfconsciously as Lauren continued.
“When I first stroked your scar, right back at the beginning of our
relationship it was because I was searching for answers Camz; for
a way in to your head, for a glimpse in to your beautiful mind, for
some understanding about the way that you were feeling.”
Lauren enlightened her truthfully, lifting her hand to Camila’s
forehead again and causing the smaller girl to lift her head up.
“You used to keep everything to yourself. You were so closed off,
so protective over your emotions and I remember wishing that I
could read your mind; that I could take every negative thought
that you ever had and banish them where they could no longer
hurt you.” Lauren moved her hand round to rest against the left
hand side of Camila’s head, her fingertips sinking beneath the
now longer hair there and caressing the thick sinewy scar hidden
beneath. “Then you finally started to open up to me but it had
already become a habit by then. So now when I stroke your scar
it’s not because I’m looking for something. It’s because I find it
 beautiful.” She disclosed, moving her hand back to its original
position and caressing the imperfection above her eyebrow once
more. “It’s because it reminds me how close this world came to
losing something as precious as you. This scar represents
everything that I love about you Camz; your strength, your
vulnerability, your individuality. This scar is what makes you
human. It is a symbol of your experience. It is nothing more and
nothing less than that.” Lauren paused, knowing how much
Camila had struggled to accept her scars and to see them for what
they really were. “You don’t always think that though,” Lauren
commented. “You think that your scar defines you, that it dictates
your beauty and how other people perceive you but it doesn’t.
Beauty isn’t something that you see, it isn’t that superficial. It’s
something much more than that. It’s a feeling.” She stated.
“People find things beautiful because they make them feel
something; works of art, quotes, experiences, songs,
people…these things can all be thought of as beautiful so, it isn’t
just about appearance is it?” she asked her. “I really wish that you
could see that.” She said sadly, “I really wish that you could see
just how beautiful you are to me and everyone else that knows
you. You’re kind and smart and funny,” she said meaningfully,
knowing that Dinah always teased Camila for her questionable
sense of humour. “You make us feel special and you make us feel
loved. That’s what makes you beautiful Camz.” “You’re the one
that’s beautiful,” Camila countered, stopping Lauren’s hand in its
tracks again. “What is it that makes me beautiful to you?” Lauren
asked her seriously, heaving a sigh at Camila’s apparent inability
to accept her words and hoping that by turning the question back
on her she would finally understand. “Everything,” Camila said
simply and Lauren couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her
face and the warmth that spread throughout her at that one
simple word. “I never understood why Dinah said that you
couldn’t flirt,” Lauren said, her cheeks growing warm as she
blushed. “You’re so fucking smooth sometimes Camz that I feel
like I’m nothing more than putty in your hands.” “Do you want to
make some predictions with me?” Camila asked her, leaning over
and picking up the box beside them, abruptly changing topics.
“Camz, do you really want me to write predictions for you now?”
Lauren asked, wanting to go back to their previous topic of
conversation so that she could try and make Camila finally
understand and accept that she was beautiful. “No,” Camila
repeated, reaching over to the holdall and withdrawing a pen and
a pad of legal paper from it. “I want you to write them with me.”
“You want me to write them with you for Dinah?” Lauren asked
puzzled by this sudden change of direction, feeling lost and Camila
shook her head, holding the pen poised over the pad she held in
her other hand. “For us,” Camila said, putting pen to paper whilst
Lauren watched, the smaller girls’ face creasing in concentration.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 8/20 When Camila had finished she handed
 the pad and pen to Lauren who took them both tentatively,
uncertain what she was supposed to do with them. “Camz, I…”
Lauren started, dropping her eyes to the page and reading what
her girlfriend had written. “1. We will continue to be beautiful to
one another.” Lauren lifted her eyes to meet Camila’s which were
studying her closely for a reaction to what she’d scrawled on the
page. “I love myself,” Camila said, reiterating what she’d disclosed
to Lauren earlier. “I am happy with the person that I am now. I no
longer hate myself like I did before but, I don’t find myself
beautiful Lauren.” Camila paused and placed a hand on Lauren’s
knee, rubbing if soothingly. “They say that beauty is in the eye of
the beholder right?” Camila asked her, “and if what you say is true
then beauty is determined by a person because of a feeling that
something evokes in them. So, I love myself but I don’t think that
I’m beautiful.” She told her. “Ithink that you are.” “Camz…”
Lauren moaned, thinking that Camila had completely missed the
point of what she’d been trying to say. “No Lauren, I love myself.”
Camila said pointedly again, holding up her index finger to stop
Lauren’s inevitable complaint, “but I don’t think that I’m beautiful.
When I look in the mirror Ijust see me, I don’t really feel much of
anything…” she told her. “I know that I am beautiful though,” she
said meeting her girlfriend’s green eyes levelly. “I know that I’m
beautiful because you think that I am and if we’re using your logic,
then that makes it true doesn’t it?” “Yes.” Lauren responded
unable to contain her happiness at hearing Camila finally speak
 the words aloud, her face erupting in to an allencompassing grin.
“It does.” “Ok then,” Camila said, nodding towards the pad in
Lauren’s hand. “Now it’s your turn to write one.” Lauren glanced
down at Camila’s prediction and tapped the end of the pen in her
hand against the pad distractedly as she tried to think of a second
one. “Ok,” she said, shuffling alongside Camila and resting the pad
on one of their knees each. “How about this?” she asked jotting
something down easily with the ballpoint pen she held. “2. We
will always talk about things, whether they are good or bad,
important or not.” “I like that one,” Camila agreed, resting her
head against Lauren’s shoulder, the taller girl wrapping one arm
around her and pulling her in to her side closely. “Camz it’s really
important that you never stop talking to me about how you’re
feeling,” Lauren said seriously, kissing the top of Camila’s head
before dropping her own to rest on top of it. “I don’t care if you’re
worried about upsetting me because you’re feeling depressed
again or you’re angry about something…I just want you to talk to
me like you always have done. I want you to talk to me the way
that you do now ok?” “Lauren, I know you’re worried about me
relapsing,” Camila said reading between the lines and lifting her
head up from beneath Lauren’s to meet her eyes. “I know that I
shouldn’t be,” Lauren said guiltily, very much aware that with the
trial coming up next month there was a distinct possibility that
she would. “I know that you’re different now but I can’t help it. I
don’t want to lose you again,” she shared, “and I don’t want you
to lose yourself again either. Not now that you’ve finally learnt to
love who you are. Not now that we’re finally happy.” She said. “I
don’t want to go back to the way things were before. I don’t know
if I can watch you fall apart again Camz. I can’t stand on another
street corner and watch you shatter in to a million tiny pieces
before my eyes…” “You won’t have to,” Camila assured her,
placing a comforting hand on top of Lauren’s and squeezing it for
emphasis. “I promise Lauren. You don’t have to worry about
that.” “How can you be so sure?” Lauren asked her. “How do you
know? The trial…it’s been hanging over your head for months
now. You had a panic attack just hearing that a date had been set
for it, remember? I’m just…I’m worried…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 9/20 “Lauren I know that I’ve put you
through a lot,” Camila acknowledged when she didn’t find the
faith in Lauren’s response that she’d hoped for. “I know that
we’ve been here before; that I’ve had more ups and downs in the
time that you’ve known me then a rollercoaster ride but, I don’t
know what I can say to make you believe that the ground isn’t
going to fall out from underneath us again anytime soon.” She
said. “Please tell me what I can say to make you feel better about
it…” she pleaded, rubbing Lauren’s knee again. “Please…” She
paused for a moment and lowered her gaze to the two
predictions written on the page in her lap when Lauren didn’t
answer, her girlfriend’s eyes looking out to the sea once again,
 obviously trying to come up with an answer to Camila’s question
but finding none. “I don’t know,” she responded honestly,
returning her attention to the smaller girl after a beat. “I don’t
know what I need to hear from you Camz. I’m not even sure it’s
you that’s the problem…” Camila looked pained by Lauren’s reply
and picked up the pad and pen again. “3. We will not let the world
break us.” She wrote in her untidy script. “What does that mean?”
Lauren asked, peering across Camila’s shoulder to read what she
was writing. “It means that there is nothing that we can’t survive.”
Camila explained. “You mean our relationship?” Lauren queried.
“People,” she clarified. “Me. You. Us. Yeah…us too I suppose.” She
acknowledged. “If I believe nothing else after everything I’ve been
through it’s this, we are able to and can survive what feel like the
most devastating experiences.” She stated. “I mean, we’ve had a
bumpy ride this year haven’t we? The two of us…” “Yes,” Lauren
confirmed. “We survived it though, didn’t we?” Camila said
smiling. “Together we got through it.” “Yes,” Lauren confirmed
again, smiling herself now. “We did.” “I almost died this year…”
Camila reminded her, although Lauren would have preferred to
forget that particular detail. “I should have died, but I didn’t. I
didn’t die. I survived and despite the world’s best efforts it never
truly broke me because I’m still here aren’t I? It might have worn
me down to the point of near defeat but it never really beat me. I
wouldn’t be here right now if it did.” “So what are you saying?”
Lauren asked a little confused. “I’m saying that I will not let the
world break me,” Camila said poignantly. “I will not let it break my
spirit, I will not let it defeat me…” “Why?” Lauren pressed,
needing to hear Camila’s reasoning. “Why won’t you?” “Because
Lauren, I remember how much I wanted to die eleven months
ago,” Camila finally admitted, “I remember how that had been the
most prominent thought in my head, how I’d really believed it
was the right thing, that it would solve everyone’s problems
including my own. Now I know differently though. Now I know
how incredible life can be, how your luck can suddenly change
again, how something that felt like the worst experience of your
life can lead to something amazing. I know now that everything
will change again eventually. Everything will change and I want to
be here when it does. I want to be here when the storm finally
breaks again and I will be. I will be here because I’ll remember
how the idea of killing myself, which I had once wanted to do I so
much and which had seemed like such a good idea at the time,
soon became the very last thing that I would ever consider.”
“Really?” Lauren said; her voice quiet and full of emotion. “Yes,”
Camila replied. “The world will not break me Lauren. It can’t, not
if I don’t let it. “I won’t let it break me either,” Lauren supported
strongly. “So if the world can’t break me and it can’t break you,”
Camila said thoughtfully, “then it’ll never be able to break us will
it?” Lauren didn’t answer right away but she took the pad back
from Camila and quickly wrote down a new prediction which she
held up for her girlfriend to read.
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 10/20 “4. We will still be together.” “I was
hoping you’d write something like that.” Camila noted pleased,
nudging Lauren with her shoulder slightly and knocking her off
balance. “You were?” Lauren asked sitting back up. “Yes,” Camila
replied smiling brightly, threading her arm through Lauren’s and
leaning her head against the taller girl’s shoulder. “We need a
fifth one still,” Lauren noted, recalling how Camila and Dinah had
both written five predictions for each of them. “Any ideas?”
Camila questioned, glancing down at the pad resting on her
girlfriend’s thighs. “No,” Lauren confessed, laughing at her
inability to pluck another prediction out of thin air. “What about,
we will make the most of every moment?” Camila suggested and
Lauren tilted her head to look at the smaller girl, a warm smile
playing at the edges of her lips. She picked up the pen and wrote
Camila’s final prediction down on to the paper. “You know,”
Lauren said, turning her head in Camila’s direction again having
admired their expectations for the next year. “Ithink I can
definitely live with these.” “Me too,” Camila agreed, the fingertips
of her free hand lightly tracing the words inscribed on the page.
“Ithink this one is my favourite.” Lauren noted, pointing to
number four on their list. “I don’t like to think of that one as a
prediction though.” Camila told her openly. “I’d prefer to think of
that one as more of a promise.” “A promise?” Lauren said
surprised. “Yeah, a promise.” Camila confirmed. “So you promise
 that you’ll never leave me again?” Lauren asked, her green eyes
avoiding Camila’s and scanning the beach. There was a hint of
something in her voice that Camila couldn’t quite place and she
scrutinised Lauren’s face closely, trying to determine what it was.
“Where could I possibly go that would be better than being with
you?” Camila returned blithely. “You know what I mean,” Lauren
reprimanded halfheartedly, finally forcing herself to look in to
Camila’s hazelnut orbs. “You still don’t believe me do you?”
Camila asked in realisation at the solemn tone she’d caught in
Lauren’s question a moment ago. “Even after everything I’ve just
said?” “No I believe in you.” Lauren soothed apologetically,
bringing their mouths together and depositing a soft, delicate kiss
against her lips. “I do. I promise it’s not you, it’s me.” She
acknowledged caressing Camila’s cheek supportively. “I believe in
you Camz. I guess I’m just so used to our happiness being short-
lived that I keep expecting the worst to happen. That’s not your
fault. Ijust need to learn to have a little faith.” “I’m not going back
to rehab Lauren.” Camila said defiantly. “I swear to you. I don’t
ever want to go back there. I’m never going to be that person
again…” Camila paused for a minute and looked out to the ocean,
a sudden idea coming to her. “I know that we’ve spoken about
the trial before numerous times,” Camila started, “but do you
want to know how I really feel about it Lauren?” Camila asked,
disengaging her arm from her girlfriend’s and pushing herself up
from the blanket so that she was standing on her feet in front of
 her. “Do you want me to tell you exactly what I think?” she
continued pulling at the bottom of her grey tshirt and lifting it
over her head. She tossed it to one side so that it landed on top of
her guitar case and Lauren’s forehead creased, confused by her
girlfriend’s behaviour, Camila’s torso now void of all clothing
except for her bra. “What are you doing?” Lauren asked, her eyes
wide as Camila bent forward and made quick work of removing
her sweatpants so that she was left standing in just her
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 11/20 underwear. “I’m going swimming.”
Camila replied simply, holding out a hand for Lauren in a silent
request for her to join her. “Wait, I thought you were going to tell
me how you feel about the trial?” she questioned, unable to hide
her shock at Camila’s casual dismissal of the topic. “I am.” She
said in reply. “The truth is that I don’t give a shit about the trial
Lauren.” Camila told her honestly. “The trial is nothing more than
a formality now. It doesn’t change anything.” She informed her.
“Sure it does,” Lauren disagreed. “Really?” Camila replied. “Tell
me…what does it change exactly?” she asked, her tone not harsh
but curious. Lauren stared at Camila’s still outstretched hand, just
stared at it, trying to come up with one valid example in response
to her girlfriend’s question. “Well, the driver…” Lauren said
grasping at the only thing that came to mind. “He’ll be found
guilty and then he’ll get charged Camz. He’ll go to prison…” “And
how exactly does that affect me?” Camila asked; a sympathetic
 inflection to her voice. “What difference will that make to my
life?” Lauren met Camila’s gaze and instantly comprehended that
it would make no difference to her at all. Whatever Camila had
felt towards the driver, whatever closure she’d been hoping the
trial would bring, she evidently no longer needed and Lauren was
buoyed by that knowledge immensely, the truth of her girlfriend’s
words feeling like a load off her mind. “So we’re going
swimming?” Lauren asked dropping all discussion of the trial with
this new information and taking hold of Camila’s offered hand.
She used it as leverage to pull herself up, Camila assisting her on
to her feet. “Yes,” Camila answered, watching whilst Lauren
removed her denim shorts and the thin, white tank top she was
wearing. She threw them both on top of Camila’s abandoned
clothes and stood facing her readily. “So, how many times have
you been swimming since the accident?” Lauren asked Camila
believing she already knew the answer but wanting it stated
clearly for the record. Camila took a step back in the direction of
the water and lowered her head slightly, a shrewd look on her
face, her dark eyes shimmering brightly, full of life. She held up
one hand in front of Lauren and formed a zero with her fingers
and thumb. “Not even when you were at rehab?” Lauren asked
stepping after her, Camila slowly inching back towards where the
water met the shore. Camila shook her head. “I’ve really fucking
missed swimming,” Camila swore and Lauren grinned at her
girlfriend’s use of profanity. “So then why haven’t you been?”
 Lauren asked her, quirking an eyebrow inquiringly, her voice
pitching sharply with the question as she laughed. “Because…”
Camila said, her feet finally stepping in to the warm water behind
her. “I’m a fucking idiot.” She continued to walk back until the
water was up to her hips and Lauren followed, pausing at the
water’s edge to watch Camila, captivated by the blissful look on
her girlfriend’s face, the way that every muscle in her body had
seemed to relax, the way that her whole demeanour had changed
so that if she no longer remotely resembled the same blundering
girl she’d met that fateful day in the crowded hallway of the high
school. Looking at Camila now, Lauren couldn’t help but think that
she barely even resembled the girl that had left Normani’s house
earlier that night and that in itself was a remarkable thing. For the
first time since Lauren had met her, Camila looked like she
belonged, like she was comfortable in her own skin, like she was
truly untroubled and it was in stark contrast to anything she’d
ever witnessed before.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 12/20 As if validating Lauren’s observation,
Camila held her arms out to her sides and dropped her head back
against her shoulders, extending her neck, soaking up the twilight
like it was the source of all her energy, like it was precisely what
she needed to recharge her rundown battery. Her eyes were
closed and she exhaled nosily, puffing out a short, forceful breath
of air, relishing the feeling of the water as it lapped against her
body, the gentle ebb and flow of the waves seeming to pacify her,
to wash away the entirety of the last year and rid her of the
metaphorical mark it had left on her. Lauren watched as Camila
rocked on to her heels and allowed herself to fall on to her back,
her arms still outstretched as she disappeared beneath the water,
her whole body being immersed in it from head to toe. Lauren
waited for her to reappear again, Camila emerging a few
moments later in one quick movement, her right hand smoothing
her now wet hair back out of her eyes as she did so. She took a
few moments to get her bearings again, having become
disorientated during her submersion but soon met Lauren’s gaze
and smiled at her joyfully. “Are you coming in?” Camila ask her,
her hands hanging loosely by her sides and sweeping through the
water there. No, the girl that stood before Lauren now was
definitely not the same girl that had left the house a few short
hours ago. She was the girl that had existed before Lauren had
even met her. She was Camila, the real Camila, the unspoilt,
unsullied version of her that hadn’t yet been dealt life’s hardships.
“In a minute,” Lauren said affectionately and Camila made a face
at her response. “In a minute? She repeated laughing. “What are
you going to do instead? Just stand there and check me out?” “Do
you have a problem with that?” Lauren countered, the fact that
this was the first time Camila had removed her tshirt in all the
times they’d been to the beach together not lost on her. She
could see the taut muscles of Camila’s abdomen from where she
 stood and the curves of her body were highlighted against the
backdrop of the sky flatteringly, the salt water shimmering on her
skin as it reflected the moonlight. “No,” Camila said playfully,
moving forward and closing the distance between. She used both
hands to flick water in Lauren’s direction mischievously. “Here,
why don’t you cool off a little bit?” she suggested naughtily.
“Camz, you’re making me all wet!” Lauren joked, flinching away
from the water. “I know,” Camila teased, biting on her bottom lip
and wading forward again. “That’s why I’m trying to cool you
off….” Lauren shook her head and Camila thrashed her hands in
the sea, pitching the water forward in her direction forcefully and
covering her in the salty brine. “Oh shit!” she exclaimed when she
saw the look of surprise on Lauren’s face at being completely
drenched, her girlfriend’s eyes suddenly narrowing and bearing
down on her as though she were the prey she hunted. “I’m sorry!”
Camila apologised quickly, holding her hands up in front of her in
submission but Lauren charged forward towards her, having none
of it. “No! Lauren!” Camila cried, turning around and running
further out in to the water, the sound of Lauren chasing after her
easily audible in the tranquillity of the location. “Where do you
think you’re going?!” Lauren called, submerging herself in the
water when she got a little deeper and opting to swim instead,
knowing that it’d be less effort and quicker than running. Camila
turned to look over her shoulder and noticed Lauren’s ploy,
hurriedly diving in to the water in reaction, her arms above her
head as she carved through current. When Camila emerged again,
she turned back towards the shore and started to tread water,
scanning the sea behind her for Lauren who was now nowhere to
be seen. She felt something brush past her leg and spun around,
her eyes searching for its origin and finding her girlfriend, who
materialised from the water a few foot away, her long dark hair a
mess of tangles. “Looking for me?” she asked, moving it out of her
eyes and Camila smiled as she lay back and kicked her legs in the
water in front of Lauren’s face, propelling herself towards the
shore and succeeding in spraying the taller girl’s face once again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 13/20 When she’d put a few feet between
them Camila stopped and dropped her feet down to the sand so
that she could stand up, the water reaching just below her collar
bones. She watched as Lauren swam towards her, her girlfriend’s
body lithe and athletic as it cut through the water. “You’re such a
pain in the ass,” Lauren complained, standing up in front of
Camila and pushing her hard on the chest spiritedly so that she
struggled to keep her balance. “I know.” Camila said, quirking one
eyebrow, the corner of her mouth lifting up in to a smile. Lauren
took the opportunity to flick water at her girlfriend and Camila
spluttered melodramatically, wiping at her face with the back of
her hand to prevent water getting in her eyes. Undeterred by
Camila’s theatrics, Lauren repeated the process, using more force
and more speed to push water in her direction. “Stop it,” Camila
 groaned, shielding her face with her hands and squinting to
protect her eyes from the assault. “I’m drowning,” she clowned.
“Oh, you are?” Lauren said, not letting up but taking a determined
step towards Camila. She ceased her attack and Camila lowered
her hands and opened one eye tentatively, not sure whether to
trust that her girlfriend had completely stopped or whether she
was just waiting for her to let her guard down. “You don’t look
like you’re drowning,” Lauren noted and Camila finally opened her
other eye, her tense posture relaxing now the threat of
immediate harassment from her girlfriend seemed to have
dissipated. “No, I promise that I am,” Camila joked. “I think I might
need mouth to mouth resuscitation…” Lauren stepped closer to
Camila and reached forward to grasp the back of the smaller girl’s
neck, her intention obvious. “Well then,” she said, pressing her
body against Camila’s, her other hand pulling on the small of her
back so that their hips were touching. “I should probably give you
it shouldn’t I?” Lauren waited for Camila’s usual witty comeback
but it never appeared and instead, Camila leant forward and
wrapped her arms around Lauren’s waist, pulling her in to her as
she brought their mouths together, kissing her deeply. Lauren felt
Camila’s hands roam up and down her back delicately as she
sucked pleasurably on her lower lip and then her tongue,
alternating between the two attentively. She lowered one hand
slowly, grazing the length of Lauren’s spine with the back of her
knuckles as she did so, causing the greeneyed girl to shiver in
 response to the touch, her body rocking in to Camila’s who
accepted her weight immediately and then countered it by
leaning forward in to her, the two of them swaying back and forth
on the spot in time with tide. Camila’s other hand glided up
Lauren’s side and settled on her rib cage, her knees dipping
slightly as she tilted her head in an attempt to maximise the
contact between herself and Lauren. She moved her mouth slowly
against the taller girl’s and straightened out her knees so that she
inadvertently increased the force of the kiss, the gratification
Lauren felt at the sensation it caused making her feel dizzy, the
taste of Camila intoxicating. Camila pressed her mouth against
Lauren’s firmly; her lips no longer moving as they lingered there
for a few seconds. She took her time to withdraw from the kiss;
her face inching back ever so slowly but remaining close enough
to Lauren’s that the taller girl could still feel the warmth of
Camila’s breath against her face. “God,” Lauren exhaled airily,
opening her eyes to instantly come face to face with Camila’s,
whose dark pupils were dilated as they burned in to her own.
Lauren dropped her gaze and allowed her fingertips to explore the
contours of Camila’s shoulders as though she were checking she
was real. She noticed her girlfriend’s chest heaving back and forth
as she caught her breath and she couldn’t resist the urge to place
the palm of her hand against Camila’s breast bone. Camila placed
her own hand on top of it and Lauren looked up in to her eyes
which were examining her closely. A small smile appeared on
 Camila’s swollen lips and Lauren couldn’t help but return it. She
felt Camila’s heart thumping against her rib cage and it was
beating so powerfully that the vibrations travelled right through
Lauren’s hand and up the length of her arm. Lauren gulped,
swallowing hard, feeling disorientated, unsure what to say, all
words lost, her brain completely preoccupied with the thought of
Camila’s lips on her own.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 14/20 She pressed the heel of her hand in
to Camila’s chest more determinedly and moved her other hand
to rest beside it before lowering her mouth to kiss the spot just
above Camila’s heart, beneath her collar bone. Camila dropped
her gaze, watching her intently, but Lauren soon straightened
back up again and connected her lips with Camila’s again, not as
avidly as her girlfriend had done, but modestly. She brought their
foreheads together briefly and sighed, her eyes closed. “Are you
ok?” Camila asked Lauren, her breathing finally settling. Lauren
retracted her head and nodded, meeting Camila’s anxious gaze as
she cupped her cheek with the palm of her hand. She began to
stroke it rhythmically with her thumb and smiled at her fondly.
“Yeah,” Lauren said, her fingertips stroking the creases in the
smaller girl’s forehead. A moment of comfortable silence passed
between them, Lauren’s hand once again finding its way to trace
the scar above Camila’s left eye, her fingertips grazing the blemish
as her green eyes locked on her girlfriend’s, which she examined
 closely. Her emerald eyes burned through Camila, making the
smaller girl shift her weight on her feet in response, heat flushing
her cheeks at her girlfriend’s scrutiny. “There you are,” Lauren
said softly, admiring her girlfriend’s face and the way it was more
animated, more vibrant, more alert tonight than she could
remember ever seeing it before. Camila smiled at those three
words as though they were the most exquisite compliment she’d
ever received, her eyes blazing fiercely with a light that rivalled
the brightness of the sun at its midday peak. Lauren tried to
picture what Camila’s eyes had looked like on some of her worst
days, to recall the way they’d seemed dull, the way they’d been
constantly covered with a thin glossy veil of sleep and unshed
tears, how they’d been hidden in the dark shadows cast over
them by her furrowed brow, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t
picture them. Now all she could see was Camila’s eyes the way
they were in this very moment, the sight powerful enough to
erase Lauren’s memory of all the times she’d watched helplessly
as they’d been drowned with her girlfriend’s desperate sobs.
“Here I am,” Camila agreed sighing, rubbing one of Lauren’s arms
with her hand affectionately. “What do you think?” “About
Camila?” Lauren questioned and Camila nodded her head, “Yeah.”
“I guess she’s alright,” Lauren teased and Camila pushed her
backwards unexpectedly, causing her to lose her balance and
plunge in to the water, her weight sending a fine spray up in to
the air around her. They continued to mess around in the water
 together for a while, Camila taking any opportunity that
presented itself to dunk Lauren unceremoniously beneath the
waves, Lauren repaying each goodnatured insult by tickling Camila
until she was doubled over in two and had involuntarily managed
to submerge her face in to the tepid water, the liquid burning the
back of her throat as she accidentally inhaled large lungful’s of it.
Other times, they’d just tread water together talking, Lauren
appreciating the way the Camila’s smile mirrored the luminosity
of the moon, the way her enjoyment was palpable, her energy
infectious, and her mood nothing less than euphoric. She looked
exultant, like a little kid who could find pleasure in the simplest of
things, who didn’t care who was watching them because they
were so preoccupied entertaining themselves and experiencing
the simple freedom that came with just living in the moment.
Eventually they’d worn themselves out and retreated back to the
blanket where they’d huddled together and waited to dry off,
Lauren wrapping an arm around Camila’s shoulders so that she
didn’t get cold now that the breeze had picked up, little knowing
that the proximity of her seminaked body to her girlfriend was
making Camila’s skin blaze in the same way it had when she’d
suffered a nasty postoperative infection after the accident.
Unable to resist the urge to kiss Lauren when she was pressed so
closely against her, Camila satisfied her desire and connected
their mouths demurely, her hands drifting across her girlfriend’s
skin, her fingertips reading every contour the way a blind man
 reads braille. She pulled Lauren down on to the blanket beside
her, the manoeuvre innocent in comparison to Lauren’s earlier
onslaught and they lay there side by side, Camila’s body moulding
with her girlfriend’s as they embraced, their mouth’s engaged
with one another’s and exploring their depths like it was
uncharted territory they were just discovering.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 15/20 When they were finally dry and had
managed to pull themselves away from one another long enough
to get dressed, they took the opportunity to pace back and forth
along the shore holding hands, the two of them enjoying the
tranquillity around them, the knowledge that they both existed in
the same moment more than enough to placate them. “Camz,”
Lauren said suddenly stopping in her tracks after fifteen minutes
had passed in this manner, the sound of her voice breaking the
silence that had fallen between. “Yeah,” Camila responded, also
stopping and turning around to face her. “You were right earlier.”
Lauren said ambiguously, causing a momentary look of confusion
to pass over Camila’s features. “About what?” Camila questioned,
unsure what Lauren was referring to. “I have definitely fallen even
more hopelessly in love with you tonight than I already was.” She
clarified and Camila beamed in response to the admission. She
took a step towards Lauren not saying anything, their hands still
entwined. “You’re dying to say ‘I told you so,’ aren’t you?” Lauren
chuckled, noting the large grin that was plastered on her
 girlfriend’s face. “No,” Camila differed. “I’m not.” “Well you
should,” Lauren encouraged her. “Go on, I don’t mind. You can
say it.” “I don’t want to though,” Camila stated, edging even
nearer to Lauren. “I never thought I’d say this after all the times
I’ve been almost mute,” she began lightheartedly, “but I’m kind of
sick of listening to myself speak tonight.” “Alright then,” Lauren
said thoughtfully, reaching her free hand round and delving it in
to the back pocket of her denim shorts. “Then why don’t you let
me speak for a little bit?” She submitted, her fingers nervously
grappling with the small box hidden out of sight. Camila nodded
her head in assent. “Ok,” she agreed. “That works out perfectly
actually Camz,” Lauren told her. “It does,” Camila responded.
“Yeah, because I’ve got something that I want to give to you,”
Lauren revealed to her, pulling a small box out of her back pocket
and holding it out between them. “I was going to give it to you
after the trial,” she explained, her voice soft, “but, I don’t know. It
seems more appropriate to give it to you now.” Camila’s gaze
flitted once between the box and Lauren. “I’ve been carrying it
around in my purse,” Lauren told Camila shrugging casually, trying
to act blasé about the gesture despite feeling anything but. “I
wanted to have it on me just in case…” Camila looked over at their
things piled beside the blanket and saw Lauren’s purse lying open
next to the holdall, her girlfriend evidently having retrieved the
gift whilst she’d been getting changed back in to her clothes. “In
case of what?” Camila asked; her voice so quiet that the gentle
 breeze almost swept it away unheard. “Just…in case,” Lauren
answered but Camila knew why she’d wanted to have it to hand.
“In case something happened to me,” Camila remarked rather
than asked. When Lauren didn’t disagree, Camila knew she’d hit
the nail on the head. “Here,” Lauren urged, pushing the box
forward towards Camila. “I don’t want to wait any longer to give it
to you.” The smaller girl reached out a hesitant hand to retrieve it
but didn’t, her hand hovering over the object with indecision.
“Please,” Lauren implored at Camila’s hesitation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 16/20 Camila’s hazelnut eyes searched
Lauren’s for a brief instant before she finally relented and
complied, her delicate fingers closing round the box and lifting it
from her girlfriend’s grasp. “Open it,” Lauren instructed and this
time Camila didn’t hesitate, her free hand carefully flipping open
the top of the jewellery box to reveal an exact replica of the ring
that she’d brought Lauren as a belated Valentine’s Day present.
“You always get me jewellery,” Lauren said in explanation, her
fingers fiddling mindlessly with the chain around her neck which
Camila had given her for Christmas. “I thought it was time that
Ifinally got you something in return.” “You didn’t have to,” Camila
responded as she picked the ring out of the box, the small band
held firmly between her index finger and thumb as she studied
the engraving on the inside of it, “A smooth sea never made a
skilled sailor.” “Maybe not but I wanted to.” Lauren responded
 smiling as she reached forward and took the ring from Camila’s
grasp with her left hand. She carefully slipped the silver band on
to the fourth finger of Camila’s right hand and the smaller girl
studied it more closely, revelling in the way that the cool metal
felt against her skin. “Now we have matching ones,” she noted
happily as she admired the moonlight reflecting flatteringly off
the band, Lauren’s gaze dropping down to her own ring briefly
before returning to Camila. “I guess we do,” Lauren agreed
watching as Camila twisted her own so that as she could see the
anchor and wave design on the outside of it. “It’s amazing. Thank
you.” Camila said gratefully, meeting Lauren’s eyes again, her own
sparkling brightly. “You’re welcome,” Lauren acknowledged,
reaching for Camila’s hand with her own and squeezing it
tenderly. “I really do love it,” Camila said sincerely, her face
splitting in half as a luminous smile spread across it. She leant her
body against Lauren’s, lifting up on to her toes and kissing her
appreciatively in thanks, the faint taste of salt still lingering on her
soft lips but surprisingly not an unpleasant experience. “Yeah,
well…I love you,” Lauren returned when Camila lowered herself
back on to the soles of her feet. “Sometimes it terrifies me just
how much that Ilove you Camz.” Lauren paused for a moment and
shifted closer to Camila, the weight of her body in the wet sand
displacing it around her so that she left a track in her wake.
“Listen,” she said, taking the box from Camila’s hand and tucking
it back in to her pocket. She picked up Camila’s hands with both of
hers once it was securely in place. “Do you remember that day on
the beach when you gave me my ring?” “Yes,” Camila answered
simply, the water lapping at her feet. “You said that it didn’t have
a question attached to it…” Lauren started, trying to think of the
best way to word what she wanted to say next. “You said that it
only came with a promise, but it came with more than just one; it
came with a whole bunch of them.” Lauren brought their
entwined hands up between them so that they were hovering
between their chests. “Do you remember what they were?”
Lauren asked her and Camila nodded her head. “Do you?” she
questioned kindly, her tone in no way challenging. “I remember
almost every word you ever said to me that day.” She answered
honestly, Camila’s dialogue from their time at the beach etched
permanently in her memory. “You told me that you were
committed to me, that you would show me that my faith in you
wasn’t misplaced. You promised me that you would love yourself;
that you would get out of bed every day and wouldn’t check out
on me again. You promised me that you would listen if there was
something I was struggling with, that you would be there…”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trialsand-
tribulationschapter79 17/20 Lauren released one of Camila’s
hands and brushed her cheek, her heart swelling at the
recollection of her girlfriend’s words, remembering how they’d
made her feel, how they’d given her hope that the worst they’d
have to face was already behind them. “You kept all those
 promises,” she continued, “every single one of them.” Lauren
lowered her hand and reached down to pick up Camila’s right one
again, her fingertips playing with the ring she’d just placed there,
her eyes watching as it spun around the digit easily. “You told me
that the ring you gave me was a promise ring,” Lauren said
thoughtfully, her fingers still occupied with their current pursuit.
“That it came with the promise that until the day we were ready
to get married you were committed to me and only me. You said
that you didn’t want to be with anyone else, that you’d already
found the person that made you happier than you could ever
imagine.” Lauren linked her fingers with Camila’s again and met
her girlfriends’ eyes. “My heart almost exploded in my chest when
you said that.” She admitted. “I was so happy because…Ifelt the
same way about you too.” Camila didn’t say anything to disrupt
Lauren’s speech, not wanting to interrupt her girlfriend when she
was trying to express herself, when she was trying to share
something with her that she obviously felt was important. “I want
to experience everything with you,” Lauren breathed out. “Every
agonising despair, every elated moment of joy, every mundane
minute of routine.” Lauren lifted a hand to rest against the side of
Camila’s neck. “I want to see the sun cast shadows off you on
every continent.” She told her. “I want to wake up every day to
the scent of your shampoo on my pillow, to have the taste of you
lingering on my lips at every meal, to hear the musical sound of
your laugh echoing in the back of my mind every second of every
 day for the rest of my life.” She shared. “I want to feel the fire of
your touch on my skin and let it burn forever on my flesh, never
quenched.” Lauren paused for a moment, considering her next
words carefully. “I want you to leave a mark on my heart so
obvious that the whole world will see it and know that it belongs
to you.” She said picking up Camila’s right hand and holding it up
in front of her face so that she could see the silver band on her
finger clearly. “This is a promise ring too,” Lauren informed her,
fiddling with the piece of jewellery again. “This is a promise of my
commitment to you Camz. There is nothing that you could ever do
that would change the way that I feel about you.” She declared
confidently. “You’ve already broken my heart once,” she said
referring to their separation during Camila’s time in rehab. “I
broke yours too, just as much, but the overwhelming love that I
felt whenever I’d think about you never lessened in the whole
time we were apart. It may have been tainted with pain, but it
was still very much there. The agony I experienced at your
disappearance from my life, it existed because despite what
happened, I still loved you. You not being here, it wouldn’t have
hurt me so much if I didn’t.” Camila closed her fingers tighter
around Lauren’s hand, squeezing it in her grasp as she pulled it to
her mouth and kissed the back of it tenderly. “Ilove you so much,”
Camila declared. “Not half as much as I love you.” Lauren
returned wrapping her arms around Camila and kissing her
deeply, her girlfriend’s hands finding their usual place against the
 small of her back. “Do you think other people are this happy?”
Camila asked her, strengthening her hold on the taller girl. “I hope
so,” Lauren replied, pecking Camila on the lips. “Lauren will you
stay here with me until the morning?” Camila asked. “I want to
watch the sunrise with you.” “Yes,” Lauren answered because she
knew how Camila’s mind worked and could see the symbolism in
the gesture without it being said. Camila rested her head against
Lauren’s shoulder and the greeneyed girl pulled her girlfriend in to
her further. “I would love to see in the new day in with you
Camz.” http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/89423442657/trials-
andtribulationschapter79 18/20 Camila nodded her head against
Lauren’s shoulder and they stood there enveloped in each other’s
arms for a few minutes, no words exchanging between them but
the silence saying more in that moment than if they’d spoken. It
was Camila who eventually detached herself from Lauren,
stepping back out of her embrace and reaching for her girlfriend’s
hand to guide her back over to the blanket where they sat
together, the pair of them either lost in easy conversation or
taking it in turns to play songs on Camila’s guitar until the light
faded completely, the evening inevitably succumbing to night.
When it got too dark to see and the only light around them
originated from the skies above, Lauren lay down on the blanket
with Camila, one arm wrapped around her shoulders whilst the
other played with her hair. “Tell me some more stories about the
stars,” Camila encouraged Lauren as they took in the vast
 scattering that littered the sky like droplets of white paint which
had been randomly strewn across a black canvas. So Lauren did.
She made up stories about how they’d come to sit in the sky, how
one had been thrown in to the atmosphere by a young boy as a
beacon to his future love, how God had planted them there in
order to keep the moon company, how each one represented the
combined halves of two soul mates and disappeared from the sky
when they finally found one another. Lauren created story after
story as she lay there with Camila, the smaller girl’s head resting
against her chest, one of her legs draped over Lauren’s and falling
comfortably between her knees. She told Camila one story and
then another, her girlfriend joining in from time to time and
adding her own more elaborate tales. Together they lay there
until the orange glow of the morning sun could be seen rising on
the horizon; neither of them tired nor allured by the pull of sleep.
They watched the beach as it was bathed in a palette of
magnificent colour. It contained so many different hues that
Lauren struggled to distinguish them all, to separate them out
from one another, the boundaries between them merged so
inconspicuously that they were practically nonexistent. Together
they greeted a new dawn and with it, a fresh start; Camila no
longer the fractured version of herself but whole once again.
Lauren knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was a moment
she would remember for the rest of her life. She would always
recall its significance and how the sunrise marked the end of one
 of the most difficult chapters of Camila’s life; how it had
welcomed the start of a much better one, a happier one; one with
far less trials, one full of colour and light instead of a the
monochrome darkness inflicted upon it. As a new day broke,
Lauren knew that everything had changed once again and she
couldn’t help but smile at the realisation that just like last time, it
was for the better. Rather than worrying about what the future
held, Lauren chose to embrace the unknown. She understood that
whatever happened next would be much easier to face than what
had passed before it, because ‘a smooth sea never made a skilled
sailor,’ and both of them had weathered their fair share of storms.
A/N: I don’t even know what this is, lol. I do know that it sounds
pretty conclusive but it’s not the end just yet. There are going to
be two short chapters and then the epilogue x
Chapter 80
The storm was over. Lauren was almost certain of that. She’d
known that it had been slowly passing overhead these last few
months; in fact, she’d known it had been receding ever since she
and Camila had sat down with Rachel at Jimmy’s diner and agreed
to put their troubled past with her behind them. Lauren had felt
that indisputable shift in weather almost immediately following
that day. She’d been acutely aware of the subtle change of tide;
how one day at a time the skies had gradually been clearing, the
wind dying down around them both, the waves settling beneath
their feet. However, it was the evening that she and Camila had
laid with one another on the beach following prom that had truly
marked its end. They’d stayed together that night under the stars
(the two of them nestled against one another on the blanket that
Camila had brought with her) until the sun had risen low on the
horizon and bathed them both in its glorious light. Side by side
they’d watched a new dawn break and with it, the storm that had
been harassing them for the best part of the past year. At last the
turbulent water that she and Camila had been sailing had settled
completely and instead of the ferocious waves that had been
coursing against them at every turn they were faced with a sea so
smooth that they had practically glided through it towards their
ultimate destination. They had finally made it. Their difficult
voyage had come to an end and they were no longer sailing to the
promise of an idyllic paradise because they’d reached it. They’d
weathered the storm together and all that was left for them to do
now was moor in the harbour and step on to solid ground where
the land was firm and unyielding beneath their feet; where the
glow of the sun was warm against their faces, the bird’s song
music to their ears and the landscapes undeniable beauty a
compliment to their eyes. The only obstacle that still remained
between them and this magnificent utopia was the impending
trial, and it was so close now that Lauren could almost smell the
sweet scent of the flowers which adorned the Garden of Eden
that awaited them on just the other side of it. “Ow,” Lauren
complained as something solid collided with her ribs painfully and
 succeeded in swiftly diverting her attention away from her silent
reflections. “What was that for?” she questioned, turning in the
direction the assault had come from to find Dinah eyeing her
closely. Lauren had a mild look of annoyance on her face and
couldn’t help but sound more than a little aggrieved by the
sudden disturbance to her meditations. “You’re staring,” Dinah
laughed, her eyes flitting in the same direction that Lauren’s had
been focused to find Camila building a sandcastle with Sofi closer
to the shoreline of the beach. “I am not,” Lauren said as her gaze
returned to her girlfriend again. “Yes you are,” Dinah disagreed, a
throaty chuckle escaping her lips. “You’re staring at her and you
have been for the last ten minutes.” “I’m not allowed to stare at
her?” Lauren asked her incredulous.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 2/22 “Not at Sofi,” Dinah teased playfully.
“She’s six. It’s a little bit inappropriate don’t you think?” “God,
you’re such an ass,” Lauren said, hitting Dinah on the arm and
rolling her eyes at her friend. She returned her gaze to Camila, a
content smile appearing on her face as she studied the small
brunette who was tousling her younger sister’s hair playfully.
Lauren saw Sofi whisper something in to Camila’s ear in response
to the gesture and the older girl threw back her head and laughed
animatedly at whatever it had been. “You’re smiling too,” Dinah
observed; her voice soft as she studied Lauren. The corners of her
mouth turned up in to a similar expression reflexively at the
 greeneyed girl’s obvious contentment. “It’s nice to see her so
happy isn’t it?” Dinah asked, placing a hand on Lauren’s shoulder
in understanding. “Yeah,” Lauren said quietly, lowering her hand
to Dinah’s knee and squeezing it lightly in acknowledgement, her
eyes never leaving her girlfriend. “It is.” They continued to watch
Camila as Sofi scooted closer to her, the smaller girl wrapping her
arms around her sisters’ shoulders affectionately as Camila
levelled out the sand that they’d collected in their bucket in order
to create another turret for their sandcastle. When she’d finished,
Camila lifted one hand up to rub Sofi’s forearm tenderly and the
smaller girl kissed her quickly on the cheek before taking the
bucket from her grasp and tipping it upside down next to the rest
of their creation. Camila leant forward on to her knees and
carefully helped Sofi to lift the bucket up, the six year old jumping
up and down excitedly on the spot when it came away and left a
perfectly formed and ideally shaped pile of sand behind it. Camila
held up her hand for Sofi to high five and the younger girl obliged
enthusiastically, Camila’s fingers enclosing around her sisters for a
brief moment before she released them again. Lauren felt her
smile grow wider as she admired the obvious transformation that
Camila had undergone since she’d first met her. She was so
different now that she was almost unrecognisable as the person
Lauren had first encountered almost ten months ago. The deeply
troubled girl that she’d approached in the school hallway had
completely disappeared that night on the beach following prom,
 had vanished in to some unknown void that Lauren secretly
hoped she would never return from. Camila was so full of life
now, so blissfully grateful for every moment, so carefree that
Lauren couldn’t help but smile every time that her eyes fell on her
girlfriend, no matter what the small brunette was doing. Camila
could be sat, lounging on the sofa watching a movie with Sofi or
quietly reading a book and Lauren would notice that her cheeks
were starting to ache at the involuntary smile that had appeared
on her face at the sight of her girlfriend. Lauren’s muscles were so
unused to having to maintain the countenance for any prolonged
length of time that they would protest profusely but she didn’t
mind the discomfort it caused her at all. In fact, she welcomed it
with open arms. She welcomed it because she vividly
remembered every time that her girlfriend had sobbed violently
against her chest until the verge of suffocating. She remembered
with perfect clarity how Camila had been unable to face her
reflection in the mirror, how she’d struggled to express herself, to
complete the most menial of tasks with any particular ease.
Lauren remembered how Camila had hated herself so vehemently
that she’d rather have died than suffer another day in her own
personal prison. She remembered every heartbreaking moment
like it had happened just yesterday but instead of filling her with a
melancholy that made her chest ache painfully and her eyes brim
with tears, those memories now only served to remind her of the
incredible journey that her girlfriend had made. Watching Camila
now as she played with Sofi, Lauren believed wholeheartedly that
her girlfriend’s journey was definitely something that was worth
smiling about. It was because of this that despite her friends
teasing, Lauren took every opportunity that she could to stare at
Camila, to smile at her, to appreciate her transition from the
despondent girl that had careened in to her life like a runaway
train and somehow managed to blossom in to the one that sat
before her now. Even from her position fifteen feet away Lauren
could see the newfound energy that Camila exuded; she could see
her recently discovered confidence, her relaxed and unfazed
posture. All those troubled thoughts that had plagued her so
much in the past no longer seemed to exist and instead of
festering in a perpetual state of selfhatred Camila was now
thriving in one of selfworth.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 3/22 Whenever Lauren looked at Camila
now she felt a sense of pride surge within her so unexpectedly
that it took her breath away; the air in her lungs catching in her
throat and making her heart beat furiously in her chest. It was
pride that Lauren had felt when the anniversary of Camila’s
accident had passed with barely even a mention from her
girlfriend. She and Camila had been spending the day with the
rest of their friends and Sofi at the park, the group taking a picnic
with them that Jasper had attempted to sample at every available
chance he was afforded. At one point, Ally and Normani had
 wandered over to an icecream truck with Sofi and Dinah to buy
them all a popsicle, leaving Lauren and Camila sitting alone on the
grass with Jasper and their things. Camila had been staring out in
front of her, watching the rest of their friends as they tried to
choose which flavour frozen treat they were going to buy, her left
hand stroking the growing puppy sat beside her on the top of the
head when out of nowhere, for the first and only time that day,
she’d alluded to her past misfortune. “It’s been a year,” was all
she had said somewhat cryptically. Her demeanour had remained
unaffected as she’d referred to the accident, but the tone she’d
used was soft and gentle instead of solemn and grave, as though
the anniversary wasn’t a terrible reminder of something that had
happened to her but a celebration of a year of her life that she’d
almost missed out on. Lauren had been observing Normani and
the rest of their friend’s when Camila had spoken but she’d
turned to look at her girlfriend in response to hearing the words,
surprised that they’d left her lips so casually and without any
apparent prompting. She’d studied Camila for a moment as she’d
continued to subconsciously scratch Jasper behind the ear, the
small dog licking enthusiastically at the back of her in response to
the attention he was receiving. Her hazelnut eyes had remained
firmly focused on the group in the distance and a small smile had
played on the edges of her mouth as she’d observed Dinah lift up
Sofi so that she could see the available options better. Normani
had quickly done the same with Ally when she’d seen her friend
assisting Camila’s sister and the three older girls’ had all burst out
into fits of laughter at the gesture; Normani’s lighthearted
mocking of Ally entertaining them all immensely. Lauren had
approved of the way that Camila’s smile had grown wider as she’d
continued to view the scene before her so she didn’t say anything
in response to the comment she’d made. Instead she’d opted to
simply reach down for her girlfriend’s free hand and squeeze it in
silent acknowledgement of the reference, no further words
needing to be said in regards to that fateful day. That had been
almost three weeks ago, on the first day after school had broken
up for the summer. Now Lauren sat with the others on the
secluded beach where Camila had spent most of her childhood in
adventurous recreation with Dinah. It was the Polynesian girl’s
seventeenth birthday, so they’d all stolen her away from her
house earlier that morning in order to allow her parents time to
set up the surprise party that they’d meticulously planned. Lauren
knew that Camila felt guilty for the fact that Dinah hadn’t
celebrated her sweet sixteenth the previous year because she was
so upset by everything that had happened surrounding the
accident. So, as a result, the smaller girl had decided that she was
going to do her utmost to help ensure that her best friend’s
birthday this year was twice as great to make up for the one she’d
missed out on. “Ahem.” Normani cleared her throat deliberately,
drawing Lauren’s attention back to the here and now again, the
greeneyed girl having apparently slipped once again to her own
 musings “You do know that you’re drooling right?” she teased
Lauren, a light chuckle escaping her lips as she observed her
friend’s blatant fixation on Camila. Lauren turned to the dark
skinned girl and lifted a hand to wipe at her mouth in response to
the remark. “It’s not drool, its sweat,” Lauren informed Normani,
shaking her head now that her thoughts were no longer occupied
with ruminations of the past few weeks and the new version of
Camila that had emerged like a beautiful phoenix from the ashes
of a broken girl. She returned her gaze to her girlfriend who had
unintentionally made her an easy victim of her friends mocking
and watched as she helped Sofi to collect some water in a bucket
so that they could finish the construction of their sandcastle.
“Yeah, ok, whatever you say Lo; of course it’s ‘sweat’,” Normani
said, making air quotations with her fingers as she’d voiced the
final word out loud.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 4/22 “It is sweat,” Lauren said in her
defence as she glanced back at Normani once more and used the
back of her hand to remove another layer of perspiration which
was coating her forehead. “It’s really humid today so I’m going to
sweat. I’d be concerned if I didn’t in this weather.” She remarked.
“Well, it looked a lot like drool,” Normani laughed as she lounged
on a towel opposite the greeneyed girl. She was propped up on
her elbows wearing her bikini, her long legs outstretched in front
of her as she sunbathed. “Not that we could blame you if you
 were drooling.” Clare commented from her position on the floor.
The brunette had now become a permanent fixture of their group
and was lying on her stomach next to Lauren with her legs bent
up behind her head and her feet crossed over at the ankles.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lauren asked her a little too
possessively. “Just that Camila’s hot,” Clare answered indifferently
as she flicked through the magazine in front of her. “If I had a
girlfriend that looked like her I’d drool too. There’s nothing wrong
with that.” Clare stopped what she was doing for a moment to
glance in Camila’s direction. “You’re just lucky she’s wearing a t-
shirt,” she continued, noting the tightfit, grey top Camila had on.
“Otherwise you’d probably be sitting in a puddle of water right
now.” “Eww,” Dinah said, making a disapproving face at Clare’s
choice of words. “Not like that,” Clare responded, rolling her eyes
and throwing a nearby tennis ball at her. “Would you please get
your mind out of the gutter?” “Can we please change the
subject?” Lauren begged; feeling extremely uncomfortable that
they were so openly discussing her attraction the smaller girl and
the affect that she could have on her. Lauren glanced back in her
girlfriend’s direction and bit thoughtfully on her bottom lip as her
eyes took in the tshirt and snapback that Camila wore to protect
her scars from the harshness of the sun, the new tissue fragile and
more susceptible to burning then the rest of her skin. Camila had
only recently shared with Lauren the advice her physician had
given her after the accident had left her skin littered with the
 imperfections. She’d told Lauren how he’d recommended it best
to try to keep her scars out of direct sunlight for at least a year;
that if she did it would help to reduce the risk of damaging the
flesh further and potentially causing the blemishes to become
even darker and more obvious than they already were. Lauren
had discovered through this new understanding that this had
always been a large part of the reason that Camila had never
taken her tshirt off when they’d gone to the beach together. That
all she’d been doing was following his advice to the letter.
However, Lauren was also well aware that this hadn’t always been
the only reason Camila had complied with the recommendations,
that before they’d shared that night together on the beach
following prom Camila had hidden her scars beneath her tshirt
because she was ashamed of them, because she was embarrassed
that they marked her body and brashly displayed to the entire
world exactly what she’d been through. Camila’s didn’t feel that
way now though. Her insecurities in regards to her scars had been
another unanticipated victim of prom night and she’d finally
managed to defeat them, putting them to rest with all her other
troubles and concerns relating to the accident. Lauren now knew
without a shadow of a doubt that the only reason Camila
continued to wear her top was for her own wellbeing; that it was
done with the sole intention of protecting a body that she’d
grown to love from any further injury. Camila wanted to value her
body the way that it deserved to be. Shielding it from damage
 when at one time she’d been more than happy to inflict it upon
herself was one way that she could do that. “I honestly can’t
believe Camila’s wearing a tshirt in this weather.” Normani said
observing her and Sofi’s progress from where she sat. “She must
be so hot in that thing. I mean I’m hot in this and I’m practically
naked.” She jested, gesturing to her bikini meaningfully. “You
might as well be naked wearing that thing,” Dinah returned light-
heartedly, making a point of ogling her friend’s swimwear which
was actually no worse than any of theirs. “I mean, damn Normani.
Can we talk about your abs for a second?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 5/22 “No, we most definitely cannot,”
Normani replied quickly, putting an end to that particular topic of
conversation and swiftly returning it to the original one. “Seriously
though, it’s fucking boiling today.” She stated as though they
weren’t all aware of that fact despite Lauren having mentioned
the exact same thing earlier. “How has she not dropped dead
from heat exhaustion?” “Leave her alone,” Ally objected gently
before Lauren could do so. She was using one of the many
magazines they’d brought with them to fan her face as she
watched the girl in question pinch Sofi’s cheek lovingly. “Yeah,
you know why she’s wearing it Normani. Do you really think she’d
choose to otherwise?” Lauren asked her friend. “Yeah ok fine,”
Normani allowed. “I’m just impressed that she’s not self-
combusted yet, that’s all.” “You know, I’m actually convinced that
 the only reason she’s wearing it today is to stop Clare eyeing her
up,” Dinah commented drily, a broad grin on her face. “I know
Mila says it’s because her scar tissue is more sensitive to the sun
or whatever but she didn’t seem to worry about that when she
stripped in front of me the other day.” “You do know that you
pantsing her at the supermarket last week doesn’t count as her
‘stripping’ in front of you right?” Lauren asked shaking her head at
the recollection of the taller girl’s prank. “They aren’t even
anywhere near close to being the same thing you dumbass.”
“Sure they are,” Dinah disagreed indifferently. “No they aren’t”
Normani disputed. “Camila doesn’t actually have any scars on her
legs Dinah.” She reminded her friend. “Yeah and even if she did
most supermarkets use artificial lighting anyway so why would
she need to worry about the sun being a problem?” Ally added
logically. “All I’m saying is that I find it interesting that Mila didn’t
seem to mind flashing some skin when Clare wasn’t around,”
Dinah teased playfully. “If I remember correctly Camz smacked
you across the face really hard afterwards,” Lauren chuckled at
the memory. “I’d argue that she definitely did mind.” The
Polynesian girl rubbed her cheek, the memory of the sting that
Camila had left there with her right hand still vivid. “Miss Lovato
was right. She really could be a boxer,” Dinah acknowledged
begrudgingly. “My face hurt for three full days afterwards.” “You
can’t really complain,” Ally said. “You totally deserved that slap
Dinah. In fact, I kind of wish she’d hit you harder to be honest.”
 “Well that was rude,” Dinah responded feigning insult. “Doesn’t
make it untrue,” Ally returned; putting down her magazine and
picking up her bottle of sunscreen so that she could start applying
a generous layer to her arms. “It was her fault it happened,”
Dinah informed them. “She made herself an easy target. Mila
should know better than to wear sweatpants around me.” Dinah
answered bluntly. “She knows better than that. She’s such a
fucking idiot sometimes, I swear…” “Dinah,” Ally complained
drolly, “Surely you shouldn’t be using language like that when
you’re pregnant. What about the baby?” Dinah had told Ally and
Normani about her pregnancy the first day of summer break and
although they’d initially been shocked by the revelation they’d
soon celebrated the news with her, both of them noting their
friends obvious enthusiasm towards the unplanned turn of
events. “The baby can’t hear it,” Dinah said blithely in retort,
waving her hand in front of her. “I’ll watch my mouth once it gets
here but until then I can say what I want.” “I still can’t believe that
you’re going to be a mom,” Normani admitted, lifting her
sunglasses up so that she could get a better look at the Polynesian
girl. “Me neither,” Ally seconded, “I’m happy for you and Siope, I
am, but I’ve already told Troy that we’re never having sex again.”
She said lightheartedly. “There’s no way that I’m ready to be a
mom yet.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 6/22 “Its times like this that makes me
 happy I’m a single lesbian,” Clare said. “No offense,” she added
sincerely after a beat, meeting Dinah’s eyes. “None taken,” Dinah
acknowledged kindly. “Wait, what happened with you and
Rachel?” Ally asked Clare in realisation. “I thought you were going
to contact her.” She said, recalling how Lauren had given the
other girl Rachel’s full name so that she could look her up on
Facebook. “Yeah so I kind of changed my mind about that,” Clare
began in answer to Ally’s question. “Don’t get me wrong she’s hot
and everything,” she said, “but I thought about what you’d all said
about her and I decided that the prospect of dating a complete
sociopath wasn’t as appealing as I’d first thought.” She paused for
a moment and rolled on to her side to face the rest of the girls’
properly, supporting her head with one hand. “I mean, I know
that I might be desperate but…I’m not that desperate.” She said
and the rest of the girl’s laughed. “This is exactly why I enjoy you
hanging around with us so much.” Dinah chuckled in obvious
amusement at the most recent addition to their group. “You’re
the most sensible lesbian that I know.” She stated, causing Lauren
to roll her eyes subtly, “even if you did have me worried there for
a little while.” “Yeah,” Normani agreed. “It’s nice to hear that
someone else isn’t completely mental.” She commented
pointedly. “Lauren and Camila have lost their minds by forgiving
her for everything that she did to us.” “To us?” Lauren
questioned; quirking up her eyebrow in response to Normani’s
words. “What did Rachel ever do to you guys?” “Um, hello?”
Dinah said, seemingly dumbfounded that Lauren even had to ask.
“She tried to mess with Camren.” “Oh my God,” Lauren muttered
under her breath on hearing the nickname Dinah had assigned to
her and Camila’s relationship. “No one messes with Camren and
just gets away with it Lauren.” Dinah said defensively, continuing
on undeterred by Lauren’s comment. “She was trying to sink my
ship and that is completely unforgivable. I mean, who exactly
does she think she is?” She asked, not really seeking an answer.
“A crazy bitch?” Normani answered regardless. “Ok, firstly,”
Lauren said neutrally, “Can you all please stop referring to us as
Camren?” “Oh come on Lo,” Ally complained making an unhappy
face at the request, “It’s cute.” “Plus, it’s much less time
consuming then having to say both of your names when we refer
to you.” Normani added. Lauren groaned and shook her head,
astutely aware that she was very unlikely to win this argument no
matter how many times she tried. “Fine,” she grumbled,
momentarily forgetting what she’d been about to say. “Where
was I?” she asked, her forehead creasing in thought. “You’d just
given us your ‘firstly.’” Clare prompted her helpfully. “Oh right,”
Lauren said remembering. “Secondly,” she went on firmly, holding
up two fingers, “can we have less of the name calling?” she asked.
“You know how much Camz hates it.” “That’s why I’m doing it
when she isn’t around,” Normani answered meekly. “Do you
really think I want to upset your girlfriend? All she’d have to do is
make that stupid face she does and I’d feel instantly guilty. No
 one here wants that, least of all me.” “Upsetting Camila is like
kicking a puppy,” Ally concurred regretfully, remembering back to
the role she had played in the other girls’ admission to rehab. “We
wouldn’t ever say anything bad about Rachel in front of her.”
“Can you just not say anything in the first place?” Lauren
beseeched of them. “Help me out here ok? Camila’s so happy
right now and I swear to God if any of you do something to
change that I’m going to kick all your asses.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 7/22 “Alright Lo calm down, there’s no
need to get violent,” Ally responded. “We won’t say anything in
the future ok?” “Speak for yourself Ally,” Dinah disagreed. “I’m
not promising that.” “I don’t see why you guys are so upset that
Camz and I made our peace with her anyway?” she questioned.
“You make it sound like we’re friends with Rachel now when we
aren’t.” she informed them. “We just agreed to leave the past
behind us and move on from what had happened. It’s not like I’m
going to start inviting her to hang out with us all the time.” “You
do know that Mila told me that you’d invited her to sit with us the
day that you’d spoken in the diner,” Dinah told her knowingly.
“What is with you two having to tell each other everything all the
time?” Lauren moaned goodnaturedly, her eyes roaming back
towards her girlfriend for an instant. “Ugh, I can’t believe that she
told you that.” “Why? Were you hoping to keep it a secret?” Clare
laughed at Lauren’s reaction. “Kind of,” she admitted grumpily. “I
 was just caught up in the moment of it all, ok?” She confessed. “I
thought that I’d try to be civil but contrary to popular belief I
haven’t forgotten that she put me in the hospital. I might have
forgiven her, but I’ll always remember what she did. I’m not
foolish enough to completely let my guard down around her.” She
confessed. “I mean, Camz is right, we’re all going to bump in to
her from time to time so we should at least try and be nice to one
another,” she recognised somewhat grudgingly. “Mila has made
you soft in the head,” Dinah noted, casting an eye at her best
friend who was forging a make shift flag out of a stick and a candy
bar wrapper to adorn her and Sofi’s sandcastle. “Camz is just
trying to be the bigger person here.” Lauren said with a hint of
approval in her voice at her girlfriend’s generosity. “Yeah but
that’s because she’s soft in the head,” Dinah returned. “You don’t
think her skull would have caved in so easily if she wasn’t, do
you?” “Dinah!” Ally protested shocked. “What?” The taller girl
said, lifting her arms in front of her innocently. “Isn’t it a little bit
insensitive to be saying that when the trial is starting tomorrow?”
she questioned. “So Mila can make jokes about things like that
but I can’t?” she asked bewildered. “That’s such a double
standard.” She moaned. “I mean, look at her. She doesn’t give a
rat’s ass about the trial and she’s always making fun of herself,”
she said, gesturing in Camila’s direction. “She’s so stupid now.”
She went on, her tone affectionate. “She makes inappropriate
jokes about it all the time.” She continued. “I can’t believe I’d
 completely forgotten that this is what she was like…” Dinah
revealed. “She’s all perky and annoying again.” she stated.
“Actually,” she paused, considering something for a moment.
“Ithink she’s even more perky and annoying now then she was
before all this.” She acknowledged chuckling. “God, I mean look at
the little dimwit.” She instructed warmly, her tone betraying her
fondness for her best friend as she pointed at her in the distance.
“She’s practically glowing.” “Ithink that’s sweat,” Clare chortled
referencing Lauren’s earlier response. “No it isn’t,” Dinah said
resolutely and no one argued with her because they knew deep
down it were true. They all watched Camila for a moment from
their vantage point, the girl at the centre of their conversation
crouching low to the ground in order to allow her sister to
clamber on to her back now the pair of them had apparently
finished building their sandcastle. She hooked Sofi’s legs under
her armpits and stood up, her sisters arms draped loosely round
her neck as she wore a broad grin on her face and Camila started
to carry her back in their direction. “Who would have guessed
she’d become such a little shit when she finally got over her
depression,” Dinah grumbled, observing her friend as she walked
towards them. “You’re just pissed because she’s managed to
prank you eight times in the last month and you’ve only managed
to prank her twice,” Normani said, her eyes following Camila as
she carefully navigated a path across the hot sand.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter80 8/22 “I think my favourite one was when
she covered your doorway with cellophane wrap and you got
tangled in it.” Ally chuckled. “What about the time that she put
lemon juice and vinegar in Dinah’s water while she was in the
restroom at Jimmy’s?” Clare offered. “I don’t know,” Normani said
thoughtfully, “I still think the batch of cookies she made using salt
instead of sugar was the best. The picture I took of your face as
you had your first bite is the best one I’ve ever seen of you.” She
said, addressing Dinah. “Dinah you have no one to blame but
yourself.” Lauren informed her. “You’re the reason that she’s
turned in to a little shit,” she reminded Dinah unsympathetically,
a warm smile on her face at the recollection of the one which
consumed Camila’s after each successfully carried out trick. “You
started this prank war when you superglued those coins to the
corner of her desk. Do you know how long it took her to realise
that’s why she couldn’t pick them up?” “Yeah, but I’m with child
now,” Dinah reminded them all, moving her hand across her
stomach emphatically. “She should be taking it easy on me. After
all, I didn’t prank her when she was recovering from her accident.
It’s only fair that she pays me the same courtesy.” “You’re such a
sore loser.” Clare said perceptively. “She isn’t winning,” Dinah
scoffed offended at the insinuation. “Yes she is,” Ally said simply.
“I’m just taking my time to formulate the ultimate payback prank
that’s all.” Dinah shared with them all. “Then we’ll see which one
of us is winning. My next prank is going to be better than all of
 hers combined.” “Yeah, well good luck with that,” Clare said
sarcastically, underestimating Dinah’s talent for friendly revenge.
“Good luck with what?” Camila asked, squatting down as she
reached them so that Sofi could jump off her back. She pulled her
snapback off her head and threw it on top of her towel so that she
could run her fingers through her hair and untangle the knots that
had formed as a result of her sweating. “Nothing,” Dinah replied
quickly before anyone else could answer, not wanting to give up
the advantage that an element of surprise would lend to her next
prank. “How’s the beach house coming along?” Lauren
questioned her girlfriend meaningfully, quickly diverting the
conversation away from its previous subject matter. Camila met
her girlfriend’s gaze meaningfully and smiled at her, the sight
making Lauren’s cheeks ache as they were now prone to do, her
grin having broadened exponentially. “It’s not a beach house. It’s
a princess castle.” Sofi said; overhearing the older girl’s question
to her sister and answering before Camila could. “My mistake,”
Lauren chuckled and Sofi twisted on the spot from side to side
bashfully, her facial expression making her look the spitting image
of Camila when she was feeling embarrassed. “It’s finished now
isn’t it Sofi?” Camila said placing a hand on her sister’s shoulder
tenderly. “Yep,” Sofi said proudly. “It even has a flag so visitors
know that the princess is at home.” “That’s so awesome,” Dinah
remarked sincerely. “Do you want to come and see it?” Sofi asked
them all, holding out one hand for Lauren and another for Dinah.
 “Sure,” Lauren replied, taking the offered limb as she pushed
herself up in to a standing position. Dinah stood up too and
enclosed her fingers around the smaller girl’s delicate hand and
Sofi began to lead the two of them to view the creation that she
and Camila had worked
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 9/22 so hard on. Both Ally and Normani
shared a brief look with one another before standing up and
hastily joining the other three girls. “You’re not going to go and
see it too?” Camila asked Clare, noting the other girl had stayed in
place and was studying her closely. “I thought that this might be a
good opportunity for us to talk,” Clare said, ignoring Camila’s
question and standing up in front of her. “What about?” she
questioned as she crouched down to pick up a bottle of water
which was lying on top of her bag. Clare took a step towards her
and Camila uncapped the container in her hand and brought it to
her lips to take a large sip. “You know what,” Clare replied
neutrally. “I’m going to tell them,” Camila informed Clare
knowingly, realising what the other girl was referring to. She put
the cap back on to her bottle of water and started picking at the
label on it distractedly so as to avoid meeting Clare’s probing
eyes. “When?” Clare asked her. “I’m just waiting for the right
moment,” Camila told her, throwing her bottle back on top of her
bag and finally lifting her gaze to Clare’s. “You keep saying that,”
Clare reminded her. “I know but I mean it.” Camila responded;
 wiping her hands on the front of her tshirt to rid them of the
condensation the bottle had left on them. “It’s just never seemed
like the right time.” “Camila this has been going on for months…”
Clare noted. “You’re shit out of time. You have to tell them now.
You can’t leave it any longer.” “I’m going to tell them,” Camila
repeated more firmly. “I just don’t think it’s fair of me to drop it in
their laps and expect them all to deal with it, especially Lauren
and Dinah…” “Camila, this is it, ok? You have to tell them tonight
which means you’re going to have to drop it in their laps.” Clare
said. “If you don’t tell them by the end of today then I’m going to
have to do it.” “No,” Camila responded quickly, running a hand
through her hair. “I have to be the one to tell them.” “Then you
need to do it soon,” Clare encouraged her. “I’ll tell them after the
party later, I promise I will,” Camila resolved. “I won’t risk doing it
before and ruining Dinah’s birthday though. It’s not fair on her. I
already spoilt it last year. Today has to be perfect.” “You just need
to bite the bullet and get it over with,” Clare encouraged; placing
a hand on Camila’s shoulder, “I’m a big girl ok? I can deal with the
aftermath, whatever it might be.” Camila didn’t seem convinced
and glanced in the direction of her friends who were talking
enthusiastically with Sofi. Lauren seemed to sense she was being
watched because she turned her attention from the smaller girl’s
imaginary princess palace and tilted her head in Camila’s
direction, a smile appearing on her face when she saw her
girlfriend watching her. Camila returned the gesture in
 acknowledgement and Lauren broke the eye contact between
them when Sofi pulled animatedly on her arm to show her
something else. “Are you going to be completely honest with
Lauren about how much time we’ve been spending together?”
Clare asked noticing the exchange between Camila and her
girlfriend. “If I’m telling her the truth then I should probably tell
her everything.” Camila accepted, looking back in Clare’s
direction. “She’s going to be pissed when she finds out that we’ve
been meeting up without her.” Clare recognised.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 10/22 “She’ll be fine,” Camila dismissed
easily. “It’s not like we’ve been sneaking around behind her back
and having an affair. We’ve just been talking.” “Do you think she
and the girls will be upset that you waited so long to tell them?”
Clare questioned, rubbing the back of her neck and feeling guilty
that she was the reason Camila had withheld the information
from Lauren for so long. “I guess we’ll soon find out,” Camila
replied, glancing over at Lauren who was explaining something to
Sofi. “I know why you’ve been putting off telling them and I
appreciate it,” Clare said gratefully. “You were trying to protect
me but you can’t any more. They have to know the truth before
they walk in to court tomorrow and see me there.” “I know,”
Camila accepted. “Camila they need to know that my uncle is the
one that hit you.” Clare stated. “I just don’t want them to blame
you because of your relationship with him,” Camila admitted.
“Lauren really hates him Clare.” She shared, knowing the words to
be true even though Lauren had never actually expressed them
aloud. “Dinah does too.” “I hate him for what he did to you as
well,” Clare admitted, “but he’s my family Camila and I can’t help
but still love him regardless. My parents want me there tomorrow
for moral support and I’m going to be no matter how guilty he is.”
Camila glanced between her friends and Clare uncertainly. “I’m
just worried about how they’ll react towards you when they
know.” Camila disclosed. “What if they don’t want you hanging
out with us anymore? I like that we’re all friends now…” “It is
what it is,” Clare told her. “I can completely understand if that’s
how they feel. You shouldn’t feel bad about that. I’d probably feel
the same way if the situation were reversed.” Clare paused for a
moment and took another step closer to Camila whose eyes had
lowered to her feet which were kicking at the sand distractedly.
“Camila, my uncle ran you down,” Clare stated conclusively,
pulling the brunette’s dark eyes back to her. “He hit you and left
you in the road to die,” she said bluntly to hammer the reality of
the situation home. “He was driving with a suspended license and
he ran off instead of staying to help you to so that he could avoid
getting in trouble. He should never have been on the road to
begin with and he almost killed you because he was too stubborn
to accept the fact that his heart condition meant he wasn’t safe
behind the wheel of a car. He’s going to go to jail for what he did
to you and he should…he should go to jail, even I know that.”
 “God, I should have told Lauren and the others earlier,” Camila
said sighing heavily, “but Ijust couldn’t bring myself to share this
with them.” “I know you didn’t want it to cause any drama,” Clare
said understandingly, the pair of them having discussed it when
they’d met up to talk about the newly realised link between them.
“I understand that alright? After everything that you’ve been
through you were all finally happy and you didn’t want to risk
losing that but…you just have to be honest with them and tell
them that’s how you felt…” “Clare…” Camila began but she
stopped when she felt someone tug on the back of her tshirt. She
turned around to find Sofi standing behind her, the rest of the
girls lagging a few feet behind as they approached. “We’re going
to go swimming,” Sofi informed her conclusively leaving no room
for any argument from her older sister. “You are?” Camila asked,
tapping Sofi on the end of the nose with her index finger lovingly;
the other conversation she’d been involved in quickly dropped in
light of the rest of the group’s fast approach. “Mmhmm,” Sofi
replied. “I want you and Clare to come too,” she said, reaching for
Camila’s arm. “Me and Lauren are going to have a fight with Ally
and Normani so you have to be the spectacles.” Camila laughed
gently at her sister’s misuse of the word ‘spectacles.’
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 11/22 “You mean spectators,” she
corrected the smaller girl. “That’s what I said,” Sofi responded as
Lauren came up beside her. “You’re going to fight Ally and
 Normani?” Camila asked her girlfriend, lifting one eyebrow in a
silent question. “Sofi’s going to sit on my shoulders and try to
push Ally and Normani over,” Lauren explained to her girlfriend.
“Ally’s going to sit on Normani’s shoulders because she’s small
too,” Sofi said quickly in explanation, her words rushing out of her
mouth airily in her enthusiasm. “Then we’ll fight.” She buzzed
excitedly. “So you and Clare have to come and watch with Dinah.”
she said. “Please?” she implored desperately. “Will you come?”
“Of course I’ll come and watch,” Camila smiled, placing a hand on
Sofi’s shoulder. Camila started to take a step forward as the rest
of the group also began to make their way to the water’s edge but
Sofi dug in her heels and turned to face her sister stopping her
immediately. “No wait,” Sofi said pushing on Camila’s stomach to
stop her in her tracks and almost succeeding in knocking her over.
“You need to take your tshirt off first silly.” She reminded her.
“Otherwise it’ll get wet.” “Sofi…” Dinah started to object to the
small girl’s request, shaking her head slightly from side to side
meaningfully when she looked up at her. “Mila can wear it in the
sea if she wants to. She has a different tshirt that she can wear
later so it doesn’t matter if it gets wet.” Camila looked in her best
friend’s direction before glancing around at the faces of the rest
of the group, noting their half expectant looks as they awaited her
reaction. “No but if it gets wet then it’ll be ruined,” Sofi said, not
understanding Camila’s reason for wearing it. “Here, I can help
you.” She offered Camila, pushing up the bottom of her top
eagerly to assist her sister out of the item. Camila took Sofi’s wrist
in her own and for the briefest of moments the rest of the
assembled group thought that she was going to reprimand the
youngster and refuse the aid the she had extended to her but
instead she kept her hold on to Sofi’s arm and studied her sister
closely while she deliberated what to do next. “Ok, just for a little
bit,” she relented, sighing heavily as she noted the confused look
on her sisters face at having her hand detained. She stroked Sofi’s
hair with her free hand and crouched down in front of her so that
they were similar heights. “Thank you.” She told Sofi
appreciatively releasing the sixyear olds wrist so that she could
grab hold of the bottom of her tshirt. “I really appreciate you
helping me because sometimes I get my head stuck,” she joked,
sticking out her tongue and making her sister laugh. “Me too,”
Sofi said and Camila smiled at her. Sofi quickly started to pull up
on Camila’s tshirt without difficulty, the older sibling lifting her
arms in order to allow her to haul it over her head until it was
completely removed. Sofi smiled pleased at her accomplishment
and she dropped Camila’s tshirt on to the towel at her feet out of
the way. “There you go,” Sofi said, beaming from ear to ear. “Now
you won’t have to throw it away because the sea water made it all
salty.” Camila’s mouth curved up in to a small smile as she played
with the hair at Sofi’s temple while the six year old lifted up a
hand to prod carefully at the scar on the older Cabello’s forehead.
Camila scrunched up her nose at the contact and wriggled it from
 side to side, making Sofi giggle noisily. “You’re scar is just like
Harry Potter’s.” Sofi told her thoughtfully still nudging the mark
with her finger, the comparison only just coming to her. “You
used to read it to me remember?” she asked her. “Yeah I
remember,” Camila replied, looking nostalgic. “You said that Harry
got his scar because he survived Lord Voulevont’s curse.” She
enlightened her, completely mispronouncing Voldemort’s name.
“You said that he was
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 12/22 one of the most powerful wizards to
ever live,” Sofi told her. “You said that his family’s love protected
him and that…that’s why he was so powerful.” “Oh god,” Dinah
whispered under her breath, starting to tear up as she watched
the exchange, already imagining where the conversation might be
heading. The Polynesian girl’s reaction earned her a smack on the
arm from Normani who didn’t want Dinah’s noise to interrupt the
interaction between the two sisters. “So that means that you
must be the most powerful witch to ever live,” Sofi continued,
unaware of Dinah’s comment because it had been spoken so
quietly. “Why?” Camila questioned, amused by her sisters
imagination. “Well, because you have more scars then Harry has,”
Sofi answered rationally. She moved her fingertips to find the scar
on Camila’s side briefly before they settled on the one in the
middle of her sister’s chest. “The accident…” Sofi started, looking
at Lauren and thinking about how she was a unicorn and had been
 protecting Camila ever since it had happened, just like Harry
Potter’s magical friends had protected him when he’d gone to
Hogwarts. “It was…it was a curse too wasn’t it?” She questioned
naively, her fingers grazing over Camila’s scar as she stuck out her
bottom lip in concentration as she examined it closely. Camila
didn’t say anything immediately but she considered Sofi’s
question seriously, coming to the conclusion that just as Harry
Potter’s survival of the Avada Kedavra curse had been both a
blessing and a burden, so had her survival of the accident. “Yeah
Sofi,” Camila answered, stroking her sisters upper arm with the
back of her knuckles. “It was a curse but do you know what?” she
said looking at all her new friends standing around her. “It was a
blessing too.” Sofi lifted her eyes to meet Camila’s. “Is that good?”
she asked uncertainly. “Yes,” Camila replied. “It’s just like in Harry
Potter.” She explained, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Do you
remember how he made all his new friends after what happened
to him?” she asked Sofi and she nodded in the affirmative. “He
went to Hogwarts and he met Ron and Hermione and he had lots
of crazy adventures, didn’t he?” Sofi nodded her head again and
looked at Camila’s friends who were stood around them. “Do you
have crazy adventures with everyone too?” Sofi asked her.
“Sometimes,” Camila admitted as Sofi’s small fingers traced the
scar on her chest again, studying the blemish carefully with her
dark inquisitive eyes. “Did someone like Lord Voulevont come to
steal your heartbeat memories away from you?” she asked Camila
 after a few minutes as she tried to piece everything together in
her head so that it all made sense. Lauren could see Camila tear
up evidently touched by Sofi’s words and the way that she’d clung
on to what she’d said to her that day they’d gone to the park
together with Jasper. “They tried to,” Camila told her, sniffing
loudly and releasing a loud, audible breath as she tried to keep
her composure. She cast a quick look in Clare’s direction and met
her gaze, their eyes locking on one another’s before Camila
returned them to her sister. Sofi was pressing the palm of her
hand against the scar that ran the length of Camila’s sternum,
feeling the beat of her heart. “Were you protected from the curse
because mama and papa love you so much?” Sofi asked her
simply. “Yes,” Camila responded. “I was.” “Ilove you too,” Sofi
declared easily. “Do you think that I helped protect you too?”
“Yes,” she answered again, finding herself rendered almost
speechless by her sisters openness. “You did.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 13/22 “I’m glad that they couldn’t steal
them,” she said pleased, meeting Camila’s eyes and grinning
widely, her white teeth clearly visible. Camila picked up Sofi’s
hand and kissed the palm of it softly, her lips lingering there
before she pulled the smaller girl closer and kissed her again, this
time gently on the top of her head. “Me too,” Camila admitted
and Lauren felt her eyes wellup at the heaviness of the words.
“You must be super magical,” Sofi said in awe as she prodded
 Camila’s scar again. “I bet that you’re stronger than Harry and
Dumbledore together.” She complimented; smooshing her hands
against one another to demonstrate her point as she’d uttered
the final word. “I hope that I’m as magical as you are when I’m
older.” “You’re already magical,” Camila praised sincerely, feeling
more than a little astounded. “You are super super wonderfully
magical Sofi.” She said pinching the smaller girl’s cheek.
“Everyone falls under your spell the minute that they meet you.”
“They do?” Sofi asked. “Yep,” Camila responded, nodding her
head. “You don’t even need to use a wand and that’s how I know
that it’s true magic.” She said wiping at her eyes. “Only the best
wizards and witches can cast spells without them.” Camila felt
Lauren put a hand on her shoulder supportively and she reached
up one of her own to sit on top of her girlfriend’s gratefully. “Are
you still sad about the curse?” Sofi asked, noticing Camila’s moist
eyes. She glanced at Lauren, wondering whether she was holding
Camila’s hand to make her feel better. “I don’t want you to be
sad.” Sofi told her thinking she’d upset her by bringing it up. “I’m
not sad Sofi,” Camila replied truthfully. “Then why are you
crying?” she asked her. “It’s because I’m really really happy,”
Camila told her, using her thumb to brush Sofi’s cheek. Sofi
beamed and wrapped her arms around Camila to give her a hug
and kiss her on the cheek. “So then…we can go and play now?”
Sofi questioned hopefully and Camila nodded her chin against her
sister’s shoulder. “On one very important condition,” Camila said;
 pushing Sofi back so that she could get a better look at her. She
rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand again whilst Sofi
watched her looking worried by her words. “Wwhat?” she
stuttered anxiously and Camila couldn’t help but smile at the
sound as it left her mouth, remembering all the times she’d
sounded just like that. “I want to be on your team,” Camila shared
with her. “I don’t want to sit and watch.” “Ok!” Sofi agreed
instantly, clapping her hands together before reaching for
Camila’s hand and pulling on it. Camila stood up and Sofi’s little
feet drove them both instantly forwards towards the water as she
tugged her sister along by the arm enthusiastically. “Dinah are you
crying?” Normani asked the Polynesian when she turned to follow
the two of them and noticed the other girl hadn’t moved and was
wiping at her eyes furiously instead. “No,” Dinah said and
Normani gave her a pointed look. “It’s just my hormones,” Dinah
said as an excuse and Normani and the remaining three girls all
laughed kindly at her response. “It’s ok Dinah,” Clare said, turning
around so that she could move towards the shoreline. “If I wasn’t
a complete robot I’d be crying too.” She confessed, placing a hand
on the taller girl’s shoulder as she came up alongside her. “That
was probably the cutest
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 14/22 shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
She said before wandering off and following Normani and Ally as
they made their way to join the two sisters. “Jesus,” Lauren
 breathed as she walked up to Dinah, following in Clare’s wake. “I
know right?” Dinah said to her, the pair of them turning to watch
as Camila ran in to the water with Sofi, the two of them hand in
hand. “She’s so much like Mila, isn’t she?” “You’re telling me.”
Lauren agreed. “What is it with the Cabello’s and their goddamn
gift with words?” she asked. “Who the fuck knows?” Dinah
returned. “Maybe their mom fed them books instead of oatmeal
when they were growing up?” she suggested and Lauren couldn’t
help a reflexive smile from playing at the edges of her mouth.
“Where the fuck did all that even come from?” Dinah said
swivelling around on her heels and wandering across the sand
beside Lauren who had started walking towards the others. “Do
they just pull that shit out of thin air or what?” “No idea,” Lauren
chuckled, turning to consider her girlfriend, who had managed to
get Sofi on to her shoulders and was standing patiently waiting for
Ally and Normani to assume their positions. The two older girls
struggled in their task and Normani’s grip on Ally accidentally
slipped, causing her to tumble in to the water with a loud splash
that made Sofi giggle. Clare quickly moved over to assist Ally back
up on to Normani’s shoulders and between the three of them
they succeeded in getting ready for the imminent battle to
commence. “What a bunch of fucking idiots,” Dinah laughed,
watching as Camila bounced Sofi up and down on her shoulders in
time with the waves. “You’re smiling,” Lauren said noticing the
broad beam which lit up Dinah’s features as she watched the
 group in front of her and repeating the Polynesians words from
earlier back to her. “Yeah, well I’m happy.” Dinah returned not
missing the reference. “Happy birthday Dinah,” Lauren bade her.
“I hope that so far it’s been better than last year’s.” Dinah
surveyed the scene in front of her for a beat before answering. “It
is,” she confirmed. “It’s been better than last year’s ever since I
answered the door this morning and found Camila smiling like a
doofus on the other side of it.” Lauren smiled at Dinah sadly,
unable to really know just what last years’ birthday must have
been like for her but able to conjure up a pretty good idea. “Are
you coming in?” Lauren asked extending a hand for her friend not
knowing what else to say to her. “Yeah,” Dinah said, taking hold of
it and allowing Lauren to lead her in to the waves to join the
others’ who were already immersed in their game. For the next
half hour the group took it turns to battle one another, Camila
and Sofi remaining undisputed champions and defeating Normani,
Ally, Clare and Lauren in differing combinations whilst Dinah
refereed. It was only when the dynamic sisterly duo were up
against Clare and Normani that they finally lost; Lauren resorting
to underhanded tactics and tickling Camila’s stomach until her
hold on Sofi slipped and the six year old dropped like a stone into
the water. She appeared from beneath the waves a few moments
later, laughing melodiously and imploring for Lauren to do it again
as she jumped up on to Camila’s back in preparation. “Sofi I need
to have a rest for a minute alright?” Camila said; looking a little
 breathless and struggling to extract the youngsters’ limbs from
around her torso until Lauren helped her out. “Are you ok?” Sofi
asked her worriedly. “I’m fine,” Camila reassured her. “You’ve just
tired me out that’s all,” she said, adopting the same tactics Lauren
had with her and tickling Sofi on the tummy. “You’re a little
monster.” She teased goodnaturedly. “You’ve got too much
energy for me.” “Hey, Sofi…why don’t we play tag?” Normani
suggested, gesturing the small girl over to her and giving Camila a
welcome reprieve.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 15/22 “Ok,” she agreed easily, splashing
over to the other girl and tapping her immediately on the arm.
“You’re it!” she shouted as she bounded off again quickly. Camila
observed the game for a few minutes before finally wading back
over to the shoreline with Lauren closely in tow. “Hey,” Lauren
said, coming up behind her girlfriend and placing a hand on the
small of her back as they stepped back on to the hot sand and
allowed their feet to sink beneath it, coating them with the small
particles as they adhered temporarily to their skin. “Are you sure
you’re feeling alright?” “Yeah,” Camila assured her, twisting her
torso slightly and linking her hand with Lauren’s. “I just needed
something to drink and a chance to sit down. Sofi is such a
handful sometimes. I think she’s got the energy of seven
cheetahs. There is literally nothing that seems to tire her out.”
Camila guided Lauren over to their things and reached down to
 pick up her tshirt which she quickly put on before retrieving her
bottle of water from on top of her bag and finishing it off eagerly.
“Wow, you really were thirsty,” Lauren noted as Camila recapped
it and tucked it inside her bag out of the way. “Yeah,” Camila
returned, dropping on to her towel and wasting no time in
throwing herself on to her back, evidently exhausted. “I don’t
think I’m used to all this exercise. It’s making me dehydrated.”
“Why don’t you have a nap?” Lauren suggested, staring down at
her girlfriend and easily noticing the telltale signs that she
exhibited when her body was craving sleep. “Aren’t you going to
come and lie down here with me?” Camila asked ignoring the
question and posing one of her own. “It depends whether you’re
going to sleep or not.” Lauren replied honestly. “Why?” Camila
questioned, pushing herself up on to one elbow to look at her
properly. “Well, because if you’re going to sleep then I’ll go back
to the others and let you rest,” Lauren said. “What if I want you to
stay here with me though?” Camila hinted. “Do you?” Lauren
enquired mischievously and Camila smiled wide and stretched her
uppermost arm out in front of her dramatically so that it was
pointing at her girlfriend. “So honey now,” she started singing
playfully, her voice strong and cheeky. “Take me into your loving
arms…” she persisted, sitting up on to her knees and crawling
forwards towards Lauren, both hands now palm up in front of her
imploringly. “Camz…” she laughed but Camila continued on
audaciously. “Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars,” she
 went on, her face ablaze with amusement as she swept one arm
in an arc above her head gesturing to the sky. She reached for one
of Lauren’s hands and held it between both her own as she
carried on with her nonsense. “Place your head on my beating
heart.” She sang, pulling gently on Lauren’s hand. “You’re such a
dork.” Lauren chortled as she obeyed Camila’s silent command
and fell on to her knees in front of her, landing on her own towel
beside her girlfriends’. “What are you even doing right now?” “I’m
just…thinking out loud,” she said frivolously and Lauren rolled her
eyes, knowing that she’d walked straight in to that. “You couldn’t
have just said ‘yes’ instead of singing to me? Lauren asked her as
Camila lay on to her back again and lifted up one arm so that
Lauren could lie beside her. Lauren complied and Camila wrapped
her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder, pulling her against her as
she chuckled to herself. “Are you telling me that my musical reply
didn’t answer your question?” Camila queried. “The only question
it answered was whether you listen to too much Ed Sheeran or
not,” Lauren teased.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 16/22 “It is practically impossible to listen
to too much Ed Sheeran,” Camila defended as Lauren buried her
face against the smaller girl’s chest and started to draw delicate
circles over her sternum with her index finger. “Well you’d know,”
Lauren sighed, turning her face and planting a soft kiss below
Camila’s jaw. “You’ve had his album on repeat ever since it was
 released a few weeks ago and you’re still not bored of it.” “Ed
Sheeran’s album is a very handy tool when you’re in a
relationship,” Camila revealed as she rested her chin on top of
Lauren’s head. “Do you know how many great pickup lines are on
it?” “Are you serious?” Lauren laughed. “I don’t joke about Ed
Sheeran’s lyrical genius.” Camila retorted evenly. “Ok,” Lauren
said, twisting away from Camila and on to her side so that she
could see her better. “Why don’t you try a few out on me?” “Ok,”
Camila accepted Lauren’s challenge keenly. “I will.” Camila sat
herself up and looked at Lauren determined to be proven right.
“What about this one?” she questioned, cracking her knuckles and
leaning closer to Lauren, her eyes looking in to her girlfriend’s
deliberately. “I could look in to your eyes until the sun comes up.”
Camila said softly, no trace of a smile or any glee in her voice as
she spoke, her hazelnut orbs fixing on Lauren’s and making her
girlfriend’s cheeks heat as she blushed. Lauren knew that it was
supposed to be a line but she also knew that Camila meant every
syllable of what she’d said; her girlfriend’s voice full of affection
and her eyes unwilling to surrender themselves to anything else
except her green ones. “That should not work that well,” Lauren
said and one side of Camila’s mouth turned up in the corner. “Tell
you what…why don’t you put your open lips on mine and slowly
let them shut?” Camila urged, leaning forward so that her mouth
was hovering just in front of the taller girl’s. “Ifucking hate you,”
Lauren said smiling brightly despite her words. “Lauren…you know
 they’re designed to be together,” Camila told her seriously,
quirking an eyebrow. “Can you stop now?” she pleaded, her eyes
dropping to her girlfriend’s lips and making her bite her own in an
attempt to resist the urge to kiss them. “Don’t fight it.” Camila
said. “You know you want to kiss me now.” “Nope,” Lauren
disagreed, closing her eyes so that she could no longer see her
girlfriend’s lips but failing to shake the image of them from her
head when she could feel Camila’s breath tickling her skin
tauntingly. “Why not?” she asked, “I’m adorable,” Camila told her,
changing her position so she could nibble Lauren’s ear lobe
playfully. She attacked it until Lauren opened her eyes again, her
hands pushing Camila away as she tilted her head in order to
avoid the assault. “Would you just kiss me like you wanna be
loved already?” Camila pleaded. Lauren shook her head refusing
to give in. “Please.” Camila pouted. “Why won’t you just give me
love?” “Jesus, can you please not do that?” Lauren requested
covering her eyes with her hand to avoid having to look at the
expression her girlfriend often relied on to get her own way.
“Fine,” Camila grumbled, “but just remember that you need me, I
don’t need you.” “Why are you so fucking cute?” Lauren said
exasperated, feeling her resolve break as she lowered her hand to
look at Camila again. “I don’t know…do you think it’s because I’m
in the A team?” Camila questioned. “Haven’t you finished yet?”
she enquired and Camila shook her head.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 17/22 “I could do this all day,” she informed
her, meeting Lauren’s eyes confidently. “I’d rather that you
didn’t.” Lauren shared with her. “Lauren, all I want is the taste
that your lips allow and then I’ll stop, I promise.” Camila pledged
with a smug look on her face. “Ugh,” Lauren groaned, unable to
stop the smile that appeared on her own. “Fine.” She relented
tilting her head forward and kissing Camila who had shuffled
closer to her, her lips connecting with her girlfriend’s perfectly, as
though they really were meant to be together. Camila gently
pushed Lauren on to her back and rolled on to her front on top of
her, their mouths still joined and her small hand planting itself
firmly on Lauren’s side whilst the other one played with her hair.
“I told you he was a lyrical genius,” Camila said arrogantly, lifting
her head to part their lips but continuing to stroke Lauren’s hair
with her fingers lightly. “His words are still nothing compared to
yours though,” Lauren argued, the compliment coming easily
because she believed it wholeheartedly. “Yeah but you can’t
blame him for that,” Camila started, meeting Lauren’s gaze. “It’s
not his fault that he doesn’t have the inspiration that I do.” She
said turning the commendation immediately back to Lauren and
making her blush again. “What is it with you Cabello’s and the
way that you make everything that you say sound beautiful?” she
questioned. “I’m pretty sure you could read the menu at Jimmy’s
and it’d sound like poetry. Sofi is just as bad. It must be a genetic
thing…” She mused thoughtfully. “The Cabello’s are to words
 what the Jauregui’s are to being ninja’s.” Camila joked. “We do
make pretty good ninja’s,” Lauren agreed. “Ithink it helps that you
look good in black.” She said, taking Lauren’s mouth in her own
again and kissing her deeply. “Can you two please get a room?”
Dinah grumbled, having meandered unnoticed back up to join
them with the other girls. “You’re making me nauseous.” “You’re
pregnant,” Clare stated. “It’s probably morning sickness.” “It’s one
o’ clock in the afternoon.” Dinah noted. “Well then it’s afternoon
sickness.” Clare corrected in response to the information.
“Umm…guys…” Normani said when Camila and Lauren still hadn’t
parted. “I’d like to offer you a friendly reminder that there are
children watching this.” “Yeah, plus Sofi is here too.” Ally said
quickly. “Are you calling me a child?” Normani asked as Lauren
and Camila disengaged from one another grudgingly and finally
looked up at the intruders on their private moment. “No I was
calling Dinah a child.” Ally clarified, smiling haughtily at her friend.
“It’s supposed to be my birthday and all I’m getting is abuse from
everyone.” Dinah complained. “How is that fair?” she grumbled
lowering herself on to her towel as Camila and Lauren sat up.
“That’s what birthdays are for,” Normani pointed out. “You didn’t
think you could be the centre of attention and not get ridiculed
did you?” “You guys could at least tell me what time my surprise
party starts to make up for it?” Dinah asked knowingly. “You could
at least pretend not to know about it?” Camila beseeched, as Sofi
sat down in her lap. She enveloped the smaller girl in her arms
when she sat in front of her and rested her chin against the crook
of Sofi’s neck as leant back against her chest. “Your parents have
put a lot of effort in to organising it so at least try to act surprised
when you arrive.” She instructed looking at her best friend who
was sat beside her. “I will,” Dinah assured her and when they
eventually all arrived at her house a good few hours later to
shouts and cheers of best wishes, she actually did.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 18/22 “Are you buying this at all?” Camila
asked Lauren who was standing behind her, her hands around the
smaller girl’s waist as they watched Dinah walking around playing
the shocked guest of honour. “Not even a little bit,” Lauren said,
rocking Camila from side to side gently in her arms. “Wow, she’s a
really crappy actress,” Camila laughed, her eyes darting to Sofi
and Regina, Dinah’s sister, who were hugging each other excitedly
in the corner of the room. “At least she tried,” Lauren approved.
“I’ll give her an A for effort,” Camila allowed, “but she gets a D
minus for presentation.” “You’re such a dork,” Lauren chortled,
kissing the side of Camila’s neck as they continued to watch their
friend greet the numerous guests who had gathered at her house.
“How was that?” Dinah asked Camila and Lauren when she’d
finally finished welcoming everyone. “Awful,” Camila told her
truthfully as Lauren said, “terrible.” “Seriously?” Dinah
questioned. “Did I not act ‘surprised’ enough?” “You didn’t act at
all.” Camila laughed. “I’ve literally seen better performances on
 the Disney Channel and most of the new shows on there are
appalling.” “Is this what you got me for my birthday? Insults?”
Dinah enquired. “Do you at least have the receipt so I can take
them back and exchange them for store credit?” “I wouldn’t
bother,” Lauren said, “the only thing you’ll be able to buy with it is
an Ed Sheeran lyric.” “I don’t know,” Camila pondered. “It might
get you a Lego House.” “Ok, I’m done,” Lauren stated; feigning
exasperation and releasing her hold on Camila. She wandered off
through the crowd to find Normani, Ally and Clare leaving the two
best friends alone. “Something I said?!” Camila called after her
before returning her attention to Dinah. “So if your insults aren’t
my present than what is?” Dinah asked Camila with one hand on
her hip as she waited expectantly. “Ithought I was going to be
your present this year?” Camila put to her. “Well then where the
hell is your bow?” Dinah retorted. “You could at least look the
part. I mean, Jesus Mila…you’ve made like zero effort” Camila
rolled her eyes and reached in to her back pocket to pull out a
crumpled up envelope. “Here,” she said, thrusting it in Dinah’s
direction to shut her up. “Happy Birthday.” Dinah took the
envelope from Camila and opened it, pulling out a key on a chain.
“What’s this for?” Dinah asked her. “When you figure it out you
can have your present,” Camila replied evasively. “Why are you so
fucking annoying?” she asked, shoving the key in her back pocket
out of the way. “Trust me,” Camila said meaningfully. “It’s going
to be worth it. You’ll love it.” “I hate you,” Dinah objected. “No
you don’t.” “No, you’re right. I don’t.” she agreed. “I actually kind
of love you.” Camila looked over Dinah’s shoulder to Siope who
was approaching them. “Hey,” he said, sliding a hand round
Dinah’s waist. “Can I borrow her for a minute?” he asked,
addressing Camila. “Depends if you’re going to use that minute to
take her up to the bedroom and knock her up again?” Camila
returned.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 19/22 “Mila!” Dinah exclaimed but Siope
laughed unoffended. “Consider that payback for all the grief
you’ve given me and Lauren over the last year,” Camila said
turning to Siope and telling him, “She’s all yours.” She winked at
Dinah and stepped past her to go in search of the rest of her
friends. “Oi Mila,” Dinah bellowed after her and Camila turned
around to face the taller girl. “Yeah?” she responded, lifting one
hand to scratch her left temple and finding the now hidden scar
there. “Does this open something?” She asked and Camila just
smiled. “Maybe,” she replied ambiguously before returning to her
previous endeavour and walking away. “Remind me why I’m
friends with her?” Dinah asked Siope and this time it was his turn
to just smile at her. Camila soon found the rest of her friends in
the living room, either spread out across floor or occupying one of
the sofas. When she joined them she took a seat on the arm of
one of the loungers beside Lauren who reflexively pulled her into
her lap as she continued to listen to Normani and Ally’s spirited
 debate about who Dinah should name her child after. The five of
them remained there for the majority of the party with Dinah
joining them on and off as the evening progressed, ducking in and
out of conversations with her relative’s and other family friends.
Eventually, Dinah’s mum and dad brought a cake in to what was
the largest room in the house and everyone crowded around the
coffee table in order to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to the birthday girl
and watch her cut the cake. “Here you go,” Malika, Dinah’s mom
said as she handed her daughter a knife which she took without
reservation. Dinah shuffled closer to the table and pushed the end
of the knife in to the soft layer of cake frosting, recoiling almost
instantly when the whole thing exploded in her face, covering it
with white decoration. “Shit!” Dinah cursed, discarding the knife
on to the table and wiping the icing from her eyes. She searched
the room for Camila who was still sat with Lauren in one of the
chairs. She was lounging back against her girlfriend’s chest coolly,
Lauren’s arms wrapped around her waist and she held up nine
fingers with a smirk plastered all over her face. “Mila!” Dinah
cried, gobsmacked that she’d managed to prank her once again
whilst the guests around her laughed goodnaturedly at the
birthday girls’ misfortune. “What?” she asked innocently. “What
the hell…” Dinah started, lifting her arms out at her sides. “Oh
yeah…” Camila said casually, appearing thoughtful. “I might have
put a balloon in the cake. It’s ok though. Your mom and dad have
another more edible one for everyone else.” Dinah stood up from
 where she’d been sitting and walked over to Camila, all eyes in
the room on her. Camila didn’t try to escape, didn’t try to move,
resigned to her fate and the knowledge that Dinah was probably
going to beat the living shit out of her. “I’m so proud of you right
now,” Dinah laughed instead, surprising the smaller girl, the
Polynesian apparently impressed with Camila’s well executed and
unexpected prank now that the initial shock had worn off. “Look
at you all grown up. You’ve come so far…” She said removing
some cake topping from her face with her index finger and
smearing it over Camila’s. Dinah leant down and hugged Camila
tightly, taking the opportunity to rub her still coated cheek against
her best friend’s and the smaller girl hugged her in return, not
really caring that her face was also getting covered in frosting.
“You do realise I’m only going to come back at you ten times
harder for this,” she whispered in to Camila’s ear. “I’d be
disappointed if you didn’t.” Camila replied, her voice also low, the
noise in the room around them drowning out their conversation.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/90948529307/trialsand-
tribulationschapter80 20/22 “You better watch your back Mila,”
Dinah warned her, retreating from the embrace. “Don’t worry, I’ll
be waiting,” she provoked the taller girl. “Are you going to give
me my present yet?” Dinah asked, “You know I think it’s only fair
that you do considering that you just blew up my cake.” “Have
you figured out what the key is for?” Camila questioned her as
Lauren dabbed at her cheek with her thumb and removed some
 of the frosting from it. She sucked on it to remove briefly before
repeating the process again. “No,” Dinah admitted. “Then you’re
just going to have to wait.” Camila reiterated causing Dinah’s
countenance to turn in to one of frustration. Dinah looked like she
was about to say something but was cut off before she had the
chance by someone calling her name. “Hey Dinah!” Sofi and
Regina called in unison and Dinah turned at the sound of her
name only to be accosted by more cake frosting which Camila’s
sister and her own had thrown in her direction. “Ok,” Dinah said,
picking up a handful of cake icing and throwing it at them both,
“that’s it.” She muttered before reaching for another and starting
an impromptu food fight in the lounge by throwing it at her cousin
who then proceeded to retaliate by launching a handful of the
chips he was still eating at Normani and Clare. Chaos erupted in
the room after that and Camila leant back in to Lauren’s chest and
sighed as she watched; the sound of laughter and shouts of
enjoyment filling the room around her. “You’re face tastes good,”
Lauren commented, removing another piece of cake topping from
Camila’s cheek and licking it off her index finger. Camila laughed
and reached up to wipe at her own cheek with her thumb so that
she could try out the frosting for herself. “Mmmm, that is good
but,” Camila started repeating the same thing again and this time
tracing her thumb across Lauren’s lips, covering them in a think
later of icing. She smiled at Lauren and planted one of her hands
against the side of her girlfriend’s neck as she twisted around in
 her seat to take her girlfriend’s mouth in her own. Lauren felt
Camila suck softly on her bottom lip, her tongue tracing the
contour of it to remove the icing that she’d put there only
moments ago. “That tastes better,” Camila exhaled, studying
Lauren’s relaxed features and playing with her long dark hair
rhythmically with her fingers. Lauren kissed the hollow of Camila’s
neck as the smaller girl allowed her eyes to roam around the
room at the other occupants who were still preoccupied in
friendly tactical warfare. She watched as Dinah smashed some of
her actual birthday cake in Siope’s face and Normani was
cowering with Ally behind the sofa, trying to avoid any further
involvement in the whole affair. Finally, Camila’s gaze came across
Clare who was standing in the opposite corner of the room and
had just managed to use Sofi as a human shield against a stray
skittles attack. Clare turned her attention to Camila when she
sensed her watching and Camila felt her stomach drop at the
realisation that tomorrow everyone would know that it had been
her uncle that had been responsible for her accident. “It will be
tomorrow though,” Camila thought to herself as she listened to
the sound of Dinah’s deep laugh and returned her attention to
Lauren, who sat watching her affectionately, her fingertips playing
with one of her hands, “because there’s no way in hell that I’m
going to ruin today.” A/N: Ok, so here’s the sitch…this is massively
(sorry it’s so long) a filler chapter but I needed it to tie up a few
loose ends before the story finishes. I’ve literally been up for a 24
 hours so I’ve not proof read it or anything so please excuse any
mistakes or errors. The next chapter is the trial, the one following
that is Lauren’s birthday and then it’ the epilogue. Thanks for
reading. I hope it doesn’t suck too much.
Chapter 81
Camila couldn’t sleep. She’d tried. In fact, she’d been trying ever
since Lauren had dropped her home from Dinah’s house almost
five hours ago. Camila had tried every single trick that she knew to
encourage some form of slumber; counting sheep, listening to
music, reading, deep breathing but they’d all failed miserably and
so she was now lying in bed, her mind sharp and alert as it
considered the reason why the sleeping pills that she’d taken
almost forty minutes ago still hadn’t had any effect. ‘It’s because
you didn’t tell Lauren and the others about Clare’s uncle,’ Camila
thought as she silently chastised herself for having delayed
sharing with her friends the truth regarding his role in her
accident. Camila groaned audibly and rolled over on to her side in
bed so that she could look at the time displayed on the radio
alarm clock on her nightstand. 3.21am “Ugh,” she moaned, rolling
on to her back again and shutting her eyes tight, one hand lifting
up to rub at her left eye firmly. She could feel a slight headache
starting just behind it and she knew that with the beginning of the
trial later it was only likely to get worse as the day progressed.
‘You fucking idiot,’ Camila cursed herself inwardly for being the
cause of what was now an uncommon episode of insomnia. ‘You
 should have told them all months ago when you and Clare first
realised. You shouldn’t have waited so long. What the hell were
you thinking?’ The truth was that she hadn’t really been thinking.
She’d just been happy. She’d been so happy. They all had been.
‘No. They all are happy,’ Camila recognised and that was the crux
of the problem. Everyone was finally happy once again and after
spending the last year of complicating her friend’s lives with her
health, with her behaviour, with her mood and the numerous
dramas that seemed to follow her at every turn, Camila had,
unsurprisingly, been reluctant to divulge something to them that
could potentially threaten that happiness in any way. Camila
glanced up at the ceiling above her bed and exhaled a deep
breath slowly, her eyes falling on the picture that Sofi had drawn
and given to her before she’d had to go in to hospital to have
cardioversion for her irregular heartbeat. She’d followed through
on the promise that she’d made to her sister and had affixed it to
the ceiling the day afterwards so that she could look at it every
single night before she went to sleep. The light in her room was
scarce at this hour but Camila thought that she could just about
make out the figures that her sister had drawn on the page and
her mouth curved up in
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 2/17 to a smile as she remembered the day
that she and Sofi had gone to the park together with Lauren. ‘That
had been a good day,’ Camila thought as she turned her head in
the bed and glanced back over at her alarm clock again, sighing to
herself as she noted the time. 3.28am ‘I should get up,’ Camila
considered, knowing that the likelihood of her being able to sleep
now was extremely low seeing as she had to be up in a few hours
anyway in order to get ready for court. She lay still for a few
minutes longer, her hand gripping on to the top edge of her
comforter in preparation to pull it back, her mind still debating
whether it truly was the best course of action to take or not. ‘Just
get up,’ she urged herself before finally throwing the covers off
her and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed so that she
was sitting up. She rubbed at her left eye again, the dull ache
which was gnawing behind it prompting her to reach over
reflexively for the bottle of painkillers on her nightstand. With her
free hand Camila turned on her bedside lamp and she started
reading the directions on the back of the container, deliberating
the benefit of taking a couple of tablets now in order to try and
tackle the headache before it had a chance to progress any
further. In theory, there was no reason why Camila couldn’t have
any of the small white tablets but she was still reluctant to
succumb to her previously routine behaviour regardless of that
knowledge. It had been so long since she’d used them habitually,
instead now only resorting to them when her pain was
unbearable, that a part of her was irrationally worried that if she
started relying on them again she’d fall back in to bad habits and
wouldn’t be able to function without their use. So, with all this in
 mind, Camila decided against taking any and instead turned her
attention away from the container in her hand and towards the
waste basket on the floor by her desk. She carefully aimed the
bottle in its direction, her eyes narrowing and her tongue poking
out between her teeth in concentration as she did so. Once
satisfied with the anticipated trajectory she’d planned, Camila
launched it in to the air, her eyes widening in surprise as it sailed
smoothly in to the receptacle and out of sight. ‘The one time no
one is here to see it,” Camila chuckled softly, making a concerted
effort not be too noisy for fear of waking up the rest of her family.
She stood up from the bed and wandered over to her desk, pulling
down the bottom of her pyjama shorts which had ridden up
slightly in the night. She switched on her desk light and sat herself
down in the chair, opening the drawer and removing the journal
Lauren had bought her for Christmas and a pen. Camila slowly
pushed the desk drawer closed with her knee as she opened the
notebook and detached the cap from the pen using her teeth. She
placed the lid on the other end of the biro and quickly wrote the
date at the top of the next blank page. ‘June 23 rd2014’ She
stared at the page for a moment whilst she pondered what to
write, tapping the end of her pen against her teeth gently. ‘It’s the
trial today,’ she settled on starting with. ‘It’s finally here and I’m
kind of having mixed emotions about it. For the longest time it
was all that I could think about and I’d lay awake at night
wondering if things would feel different once it was over, if things
 would feel better, if I’d feel better. When they’d first found the
driver I’d thought that it was the answer that I’d been looking for.
I’d thought that it would be the solution to all my problems. That
because the police finally knew who it was he would be charged
and I would get the closure that I’d so desperately wanted in
order to put the accident behind me. I thought that was the only
way I’d ever move on from it. That seeing him sentenced was
what would signify the end of all my troubles. I’d been in such a
bad place back then that I’d held on to that notion with every
ounce of strength that I had in me. I didn’t realise then that his
punishment would ultimately have such little impact on me, that a
guilty verdict wasn’t the magical spark that I needed to help me to
find myself again.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 3/17 I’d hated him so much at the start. I’d
hated him for what he’d done to me, for leaving me in the road
and driving off to protect his own best interest instead of acting in
mine. I thought that anger had been what I’d needed to get
through this. That hating him would stop me hating myself.
However, it wasn’t and I didn’t. All it did was prevent me from
seeing where the real problem lied and that was with me. It had
always been with me. I felt like he had taken something from me
that day. That he’d stolen my life from me but the truth of the
matter is that he hadn’t. I still had my life. He’d not stolen it. He’d
almost succeeded, but, thanks to the actions of people who, for
 the most part, will always remain relative strangers to me, he
hadn’t. I was still alive, still breathing, still aging with every second
that passed and so I couldn’t really be angry at him for stealing my
life when in reality he hadn’t. I’d blamed him for the person that I
became after the accident. I thought that he’d changed me. That
he’d turned me in to someone that I didn’t want to be, someone
who I couldn’t face in the mirror, someone who had lost
everything about them that had made them who they were but
he hadn’t. He hadn’t changed me. Not in the way that I’d thought
he had. Yes, the damage that his vehicle inflicted on my body
made things harder, made menial tasks that had previously been
easy more difficult but, it shouldn’t have changed me in to the
person that I became. I was the reason that I changed. It was me
who allowed what had happened to me to consume my life, to
change the way that I thought, the way that I reacted to all the
different situations I was faced with. I’ll admit that some aspects
of my personality and my behaviour I found difficult to control
because of my head injury but I realise now that everything that
happened to me was ultimately a choice on my part. I let myself
wallow in selfpity, cared too much about what other people
thought of me, didn’t care enough about myself. The way that I
chose to respond to what had happened to me was solely my
responsibility. Until I’d accepted that it didn’t matter how many
people tried to help me because as long as I continued to blame
my actions on someone else they would always fail. I know that
 people that have been in similar situations to me have probably
coped better than I did, whilst there are others who have
probably coped worse. I realise now that state of mind is
important not just for someone in recovery but for everyone.
State of mind is important every single day of your life. Other
people can influence it, just like the driver did when he failed to
stop his car at the crossing that day. He influenced my state of
mind but I wish I’d known when I’d woken up in the hospital
afterwards that the only person who really has control of how you
feel is yourself. It feels good to finally express that. To be able to
accept that a lot of my problems were a result of decisions made
by me and not directly by him. It’s nice to know that I can
acknowledge the poor choices that I made over the last year and
not hate myself for them. Walking home from the beach the day
of the accident, going back to school instead of following my
parents advice to complete my junior year at home, pushing
Lauren away when I went to rehab, trying to hide my nosebleeds
from everyone, not working with my therapist as much as I
probably could have done; those were all choices that I made. At
least I can look back now and see the accident and my choices for
what they were;lessons. This last year has been one big class in
perseverance. All the hardships that I’ve had have to face taught
me invaluable lessons that will serve me well for the rest of my
life. I guess it’s true what my dad said to me that rainy day as we
drove past the beach when I was younger, “A smooth sea never
 made a skilled sailor.” It’s funny how something that I once
struggled to understand now seems to make so much sense to
me. I remember back when I’d first found out that they’d caught
the driver and how I’d wished that he were dead. To this day that
memory still terrifies me because I don’t ever want to think like
that about anybody. I don’t ever want to wish harm on someone
else, no matter what they’ve done. That isn’t the kind of person
that I ever want to be.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 4/17 It’s his trial today,’ she wrote, leaning
back in her desk chair as she took a moment to compose her
thoughts. The man who I’d hated so much, who I’d once wished
were dead, it’s his trial today and it feels so strange that instead
of anticipating his sentencing I find myself feeling sad for
everything that is awaiting him. I no longer hate him and I know
that the trial serves no greater purpose than to see him take
responsibility for his actions. It isn’t going to give me closure and
it’s not going to make me feel better. I’ve already put the accident
behind me and although it took me a long time I do feel better but
that has absolutely nothing to do with him and everything to do
with me. His chance meeting with me was ultimately the catalyst
that led me to this very moment, to a place where I am happy,
where I am loved, where I am a better person, a better ‘sailor’
then I was before. There are so many things that I could hate him
for if I really wanted to, things I probably still would if I hadn’t
taken the time to reflect on the impact my own actions had on my
life following the accident but, equally, there are so many things I
will forever have to be grateful to him for. I appreciate everything
so much more now. I have a group of amazing friends and an
incredible girlfriend that I’m still not entirely sure I deserve. I have
learnt that I am strong, that I can survive through anything as long
as I don’t give up. I don’t know where I’d be today if the accident
hadn’t happened and I choose not to dwell on the possibilities too
much because my life is what it is, and to be honest, it’s really
really good. So, yeah…I have mixed emotions about the trial today
because I have to watch him live with the consequences of his
choices and as much as I hated him before I sympathise with him
now. His life will change because of the choices that he made just
as mine did. The only difference is that I have made peace with
my choices whilst he is still trying to disregard his. The only choice
that I have still yet to make is this: It turns out that the driver isn’t
a stranger as I’d thought. He’s not a faceless entity but a person.
He has a life and a family all of his own. In fact, his family isn’t
unknown to me because he’s related to someone I know and the
choice that I made was to keep that information from the people
that are closest to me, from my friends and my girlfriend. I always
intended to be honest with them but I was trying to protect them,
to preserve the happiness that I had found. However, I think I’ve
waited too long to tell them the truth and the choice that I’d
originally made might not have been the best. I’ve made a choice
now though. I can’t wait any more; I have to share that knowledge
with them….” Camila scrawled, hovering the pen above the page
as she reread the words she’d written. ‘I have to tell them,’ she
scribed meaningfully, underlining the five words emphatically,
‘and I have to live with whatever happens as a result of my choice
just like I always have done.’ Camila put the lid slowly back on her
pen and tucked it inside her journal, closing the cover as she slid
the book forward on the surface of her desk and pushed her
wheeled chair away from it. She heard her bedroom door creak
open and glanced in its direction as it swung ajar to reveal Jasper
trundling inside, his nose sniffing at the floor as if searching for
something. “Hey Jasper,” Camila whispered, shuffling her chair
closer to him and bending down to stroke him on the head, a
sudden thought coming to her. “What do you say we go for a
walk?” she muttered quietly, adopting a kneeling position in front
of the Springer spaniel and rubbing him under the chin. She
ruffled the hair on his head before standing up and getting
dressed in to sweats and a tshirt, her tattered pair of converse
finding their way on to her feet to finish the hobo look that she’d
opted for. When she’d finished, Camila scooped up Jasper, who
was trying to extricate a ball that was stuck beneath the bed
frame, in to her arms and carried him down the stairs, only
placing him back on the floor once his leash was securely in place.
For the next hour Camila walked Jasper around the
neighbourhood and thought about everything that had happened
 over the last year, a smile gracing her lips as she reflected on just
how far she’d come. The route that she took passed
subconsciously by the site of the accident as well as Dinah’s house
before finally finishing outside Lauren’s large family home. Camila
stood on the sidewalk outside her girlfriend’s house, staring at the
white walled exterior and grey tiled roof trying to think of the best
way to inform Lauren that she’d been hiding the fact that Clare’s
uncle had been responsible for her accident from her and the
others. Camila knew that Lauren would be upset that she’d not
told her and she couldn’t really blame her, after all, they’d
promised to tell each other everything. It was probably for that
reason that Camila could not fathom even
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 5/17 one scenario in her head that didn’t
end with Lauren being extremely hurt or angry and she really
loathed the idea that she’d be the cause of her girlfriend feeling
either way. “Maybe if I write it on a note and attach it your collar
she wouldn’t be so mad.” Camila said to Jasper, looking down at
the Spaniel who was sniffing animatedly at Lauren’s front lawn.
“She couldn’t be mad at you right?” she asked him. “No of course
she couldn’t.” Camila decided bending down to stroke his back,
the touch causing him to turn around and start licking her hand.
“Look at you. You’re so cute.” She noted, picking the dog up. She
wandered over to the curb and sat down on the edge of it with
her back to Lauren’s house, placing Jasper on the sidewalk beside
 her. “Sit,” she commanded, stroking his head as he first sat and
then lay down obediently on the ground, his training classes
apparently paying off. “I know, I’ll send you in and then just…I’ll
wait for her to calm down…” she mused, her fingertips playing
with the fur at Jaspers side and causing him to roll over and
expose his stomach submissively. “No, that isn’t going to work.”
Camila realised, glancing down at the small dog. “Any suggestions
Jasper?” she asked. “I could use all the help I can get.”
Unsurprisingly Jasper didn’t answer so Camila just continued to
stare out across the road and think, wasting yet another half an
hour in quiet contemplation until she heard someone call her
name from the direction of Lauren’s house. “Camila?” Clara said;
her voice failing to mask her concern at the unexpected sight of
the youngster outside her house at this time of the morning.
Camila turned in response to the voice and she stood up quickly,
looking embarrassed at having been caught by Lauren’s mom
idling outside her house. “Hi Mrs Jauregui,” she said, reaching up
her free hand and rubbing the back of her neck, her weight
shifting nervously from one foot to the other. “It’s five thirty in
the morning,” Clara noted her tone soft as she stepped out of the
front door on to the garden path, pulling her dressing gown
around her shoulders tighter in order to keep covered. “It is?”
Camila asked appearing surprised by the news, not having put on
her watch or brought her phone with her. “I’m sorry,” she
apologised, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” “You didn’t,” Clara
 assured her kindly, her eyes scrutinising her daughter’s girlfriend
closely and noticing the dark circles under her eyes. “I got up early
and was just making a coffee in the kitchen when I glanced
through the window and noticed you sitting out here.” Clara
pulled the door slightly behind her so as not to disturb the rest of
the house and took a few more steps in Camila’s direction. “How
long have you been out here?” she asked her. “I don’t know
exactly,” Camila confessed, “a while.” “Are you ok?" Clara
questioned, worry etched in her voice at the small girl’s presence.
"Yeah,” Camila said weakly, pulling the sleeves of her jumper
down to cover her hands. “Are you sure?” Clara pressed
knowingly. “No” she admitted. “Not exactly.” Clara sighed and
gestured Camila over to her, holding out an arm ready to
envelope her once she was close enough. “Does your mom know
that you’re here?” Clara questioned as Camila started in her
direction. The small brunette shook her head in response to
Clara’s question and Lauren’s mom wrapped her waiting arm
around Camila’s shoulders when she reached her, pulling her in to
her side compassionately. “Tell you what…” Clara started, rubbing
the top of Camila’s arm with her hand. “Why don’t we go inside
and I’ll make us both a drink?” she suggested. “Ok,” Camila
agreed easily and Clara guided her back towards the house,
pushing the front door open and gesturing her daughter’s
girlfriend inside.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter81 6/17 She guided Camila in to the hall and
quietly closed the door behind her before steering the youngster
in to the kitchen. “Here,” she said, pulling out a stool at the
kitchen counter for Camila to sit on. Camila descended on to it
obligingly and Clara placed a hand on her shoulder. “What will it
be?” Clara asked her warmly. “Coffee or a hot chocolate?” Camila
made a face as Clara said the word coffee and Clara laughed
lightly. “Hot chocolate it is,” she said, walking around the island
and quickly to prepare both beverages. When she’d finished she
brought the two mugs and placed them on the granite surface in
front of Camila, standing there for a minute and studying the
youngster, looking troubled. She frowned and went to sit next to
Camila. “What’s going on?” she asked, placing a hand on top of
Camila’s and noticing that it was still enclosed around Jasper’s
leash. The small dog was lying at Camila’s feet compliantly and
Clara took a minute to release the clasp of the leash from his
collar so that he was free to explore the house as much as he
wanted. Camila rolled up article once Jasper was no longer
attached to it and placed it on the counter next to her drink whilst
the dog stood up and ambled out in to the hallway. “Camila,”
Clara prompted when she’d still not responded to her previous
question. “Is everything alright?” “Is Lauren here?” Camila
countered, her eyes focused on her hands so as to avoid Clara’s.
“She’s upstairs asleep,” Clara answered simply, her eyes
examining Camila’s face. “Right, yeah…of course,” she
 acknowledged, nodding her head gently up and down but saying
nothing further. “Camila did you get any sleep at all last night?”
Lauren’s mom queried despite believing she already knew the
answer from the teenager’s appearance. Camila finally tilted her
head up and she shook her head. “No,” she replied. “I can’t say
I’m surprised what with the trial today,” Clara shared, giving
Camila a sympathetic look as she squeezed her hand gently. “It
probably isn’t going to be easy for you…” “It’s not that,” Camila
interrupted, meeting Clara’s caring eyes. “It isn’t?” Clara probed
cautiously. “No,” Camila replied. “Camila you can talk to me if you
want to?” Clara offered. “Maybe I’ll be able to help.” “I’ve
just…I’ve been keeping something from Lauren and I’m worried
that she’s going to be upset when Itell her,” Camila divulged. “Are
you sick?” Clara asked apprehensively. “No, I’m not sick.” Camila
answered, placing both her hands around the mug of chocolate in
front of her. “It’s about the driver that hit me…” “Oh,” Clara said a
small smile forming on her lips which Camila thought seemed
strange after what she’d just admitted. “Oh?” Camila returned as
Clara stood up from the stool she’d been perched on. “Wait here
a minute,” Clara directed, holding up a finger to stay the
youngster as she walked over to the kitchen door and
disappeared out of it. Camila’s brow furrowed in confusion as her
eyes loitered on the now empty space Lauren’s mom had
previously occupied. When she didn’t return after a few minutes,
Camila spun back around on her stool and took a sip of her drink,
wincing as she scolded her mouth, having forgotten to let it cool a
little bit more first.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 7/17 “Jesus,” Camila complained, sticking
out her tongue and trying to get a look at it to see whether she’d
caused any longterm damage. “Camz?” Lauren asked from behind
her; her voice hoarse with sleep. Camila turned around to face her
girlfriend, her tongue still poking out and causing Lauren to
chuckle. She looked tired and her hair was a mess of tangles as
she yawned. She reached one hand up to cover her mouth in
response to the reflex before stretching her arms up above her
head to release the stiffness in her muscles, the movement
causing her tshirt to ride up and expose the flesh of her stomach.
She stepped in to the kitchen and was followed closely by Clara
who picked up her coffee from the counter, made her excuses
and left the two of them to talk. “You do know it’s not even six
o’clock yet?” Lauren asked her, rubbing at her eyes with the back
of her hand as she approached where her girlfriend sat. “I…uh…”
Camila started but Lauren laughed again as she remembered how
the browneyed girl had looked as she’d entered the room. She
tilted her head down when she was standing just beside Camila
and planted a quick kiss on her forehead before sitting in the now
vacant stool beside her. “Did you burn your tongue again?” she
asked, reaching over and taking Camila’s free hand, the hot
chocolate now safely set on the counter again. “I thought you’d
 have learnt by now.” She said yawning again. “You do this every
time you have a hot chocolate babe…” “Lauren,” Camila said,
placing a hand on top of her girlfriend’s. “I really need to talk to
you about something…” “I know,” Lauren said, shaking her head
as if to rid it of the cobwebs the night had left in it. “My mom told
me when she came upstairs to wake me up at this ungodly hour.”
She moaned goodnaturedly. “Couldn’t it have waited?” she asked.
“No,” Camila replied, looking guilty for waking Lauren so early. “I
was having a really good dream,” Lauren said seductively making
Camila blush. “I just…” Camila started feeling flustered. “I’m sorry,
but I really need to tell you before we go to the court house
later…” “Camz is this about Clare’s uncle?” Lauren asked, running
her free hand through her hair as her greeneyes met her
girlfriend’s hazelnut ones. “Wait, you already know?” Camila
questioned, her voice pitching higher in astonishment. “Yeah,”
Lauren affirmed. “I have done for a while now.” “Who told you?”
Camila asked and Lauren looked towards the kitchen door which
her mom had vanished through significantly. “Wait, it was your
mom?” “Yes,” Lauren confirmed. “It was an accident though.” She
explained. “Your mom said something to her when they went out
for coffee and she started talking to me about it not knowing that
you hadn’t told me yet.” “I…” Camila began but she couldn’t think
of anything to say, rendered speechless by this new turn of
events. “Does…I mean…do the others know?” “Yes,” Lauren
informed her honestly. “Itold them.” “Why didn’t you say
anything to me?” Camila queried. “Are you mad that I kept it from
you?” “No I’m not mad,” Lauren reassured her, rubbing the top of
Camila’s arm the palm of her hand. “Ijust figured that you must
have had a good reason for not telling me but it’s like I’ve said
before Camz; I trust you to know when and how to share things
with me.” She paused for a minute to yawn again. “I know you’ll
always tell me eventually,” she said, her words distorted as they
caught the tail end of the yawn. “I just didn’t think it would be at
five forty nine in the morning, that’s all.” “I wanted to tell you
before,” Camila said, “Ijust…we’d been so happy and I was
worried that it’d ruin everything again. I was trying to protect
you…well, protect us and this stupid bubble of joy that we seem
to have created recently.” She shared, moving one hand to make
an imaginary circle around them.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 8/17 “Camz I can understand that
completely, ok?” Lauren assured her. “It’s fine. Honestly. You’ve
told me now and…” “I’ve been spending time alone with Clare
too,” Camila blurted out inelegantly, interceding before Lauren
could finish her sentence, desperate to share every truth with her
now that the majority of it was finally out there. “We’ve been
seeing each other.” “Seeing each other?” Lauren asked, looking
uncertain. “Yeah,” Camila verified. “What do you mean?” Lauren
returned. “Just…you know…to talk about it…” she clarified.
“So…you’ve not been cheating?” Lauren said searchingly, not
 really believing for one second that Camila would have done that
to her but needing to hear her say it. “What! No!” Camila replied
quickly, her voice rising in volume with her protestations. “Of
course not,” she said, lowering her voice to a whisper and looking
apologetic at potentially waking up the rest of the house. “We’ve
just talked. That’s all…but…we’ve been meeting up without you
guys…” “Well, that’s ok too as long as that’s all you did,” Lauren
joked, brushing Camila’s cheek with the back of her fingers, “I’m
sure you guys needed to discuss it.” Camila reached up her hand
and pulled Lauren’s away from her face, not feeling as though she
deserved her girlfriend’s levelheadedness. “Did it help?” Lauren
asked her, not feeling injured by the gesture but sincerely
interested in what Camila’s answer to the question would be. “Did
what help?” Camila replied, looking confused. “Talking about it
with her,” she stated. “Yeah it did help,” Camila admitted,
“but…can you like, shout at me or something?” she questioned.
“You’re too calm about everything and it’s worrying me.” Lauren
laughed musically and leant forward to kiss Camila on the lips,
both hands reaching up to cup her girlfriends’ face as she did so.
“I trust you, you dumbass.” She said affectionately, keeping
Camila’s cheeks firmly in her grasp but leaning her face back to
look at her better. “Do you really think that after everything we’ve
been through this would be a massive drama?” she asked
rhetorically. “Jesus Camz, if something were to come between us
now it’d have to be bigger than this.” She laughed. “I mean, we’ve
 been through so much that I honestly believe we could survive
anything as long as we did it together.” She said. “So…stop being
an idiot, ok? I’m not mad and I’m not jealous. I’m just happy that
you’re ok with it all.” Camila dropped her gaze to the floor
between them and Lauren tilted her chin up so that she met her
eyes again. “Besides,” She said a playful smile on her lips. “I know
that I don’t have to worry about Clare,” she disclosed. “She knows
that if she ever did anything to come between you and I that
Dinah would seriously kick her ass.” Lauren laughed. “The last
time I checked Clare didn’t have a death wish. Unless…there’s
something you know that I don’t?” she asked teasingly. “So we
can all still be friends?” Camila asked ignoring Lauren’s last
question. “Clare and us, I mean?” “Haven’t we all still been
friends?” Lauren countered and Camila smiled. “Yes,” she
responded in realisation. “Clare isn’t responsible for the accident
any more than you are.” Lauren said decisively. “I’d never blame
her for what happened and neither would the others. We thought
that you must have felt the same way if you were still happy for
her to hang out with us.” Camila sighed heavily feeling like a
weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “Ok?” Lauren asked her,
sensing her relief and playing with a lock of her girlfriend’s long
silky hair. “Yeah,” Camila replied, nodding her head and smiling.
“I’m ok.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 9/17 “I love you, you know.” Lauren told
 her, tracing the scar on Camila’s forehead delicately and causing
the brown haired girl’s smile to broaden in response to the
familiar gesture. “I love you too,” Camila said and she connected
their mouths, kissing Lauren on the lips tenderly. “I’m afraid that
you’re fucking stuck with me forever now babe,” Lauren jested
lightheartedly. “Forever isn’t long enough,” Camila responded,
her words much heavier in comparison to Lauren’s but
unashamedly flirtatious, her fingertips running up and down her
girlfriend’s forearm as she watched it. “Don’t. Be. Fucking. Cute.”
Lauren scolded, kissing Camila on the lips between each word and
using her hand to turn her girlfriend’s face back towards her own.
“What the hell am I supposed to say in response to that?” “Tell
me you’ll love me for an eternity.” Camila replied. “I thought I
didn’t need to?” Lauren asked spiritedly, remembering their often
used response to each other’s declarations of love. “You don’t,”
Camila agreed. “It’ll just be nice to hear, that’s all.” “Well, in that
case. I’ll love you for an eternity Camz.” Lauren announced,
kissing Camila on the lips again deeply, “and when this world is
just a faint memory in the mind of the universe I will still love
you,” she smiled, “and when that universe has been completely
consumed by some other matter the only thing that will be left of
it is my love for you.” She finished as her index finger travelled
gently along Camila’s jaw. “How’s that?” “That’s really good,”
Camila answered honestly, her hand moving from Lauren’s
forearm to sit on the side of her neck as their eyes met one
 another’s and locked there, no words exchanging between them
but the meaning behind the look they shared clear. “So, now that
I’m up…” Lauren said; breaking eye contact and yawning
overdramatically, a huge smile plastered on her face. “What do
you say to some breakfast?” “Can we have pancakes?” Camila
asked. “We can have anything that you want.” Lauren said,
standing up from the stool she’d been perched on and making her
way round to the fridge to start collecting the necessary
ingredients. Her hand was clasped around the open door as she
peered inside when she felt Camila’s hand on top of her own. “I’ll
make them,” she proposed as Lauren looked up and met her soft
eyes. “It’s only fair seeing as I woke you up so early.” Lauren stood
up tall and removed some eggs from the shelf in one swift
movement. “How about we make them together?” she suggested
and Camila took out a carton of milk. “Sure,” Camila agreed,
closing the fridge as Clara walked in and placed her coffee mug in
the sink. “Everything alright in here?” she asked and Lauren and
Camila shared a brief look before both nodding in reply. “Yeah,
everything is great.” Lauren said. “We were just about to make
some pancakes for breakfast.” She told her, holding up the carton
of eggs for emphasis. “Then it looks like I arrived just in the nick of
time,” Clara chuckled throatily. “Last time you made pancakes in
here it looked like a small batter factory had exploded all over the
kitchen.” She took the carton from Lauren and gestured them
both over to the stool behind the counter. “I’ll make you both
breakfast.” She stated definitively so there could be no argument,
taking the milk from Camila. “It’ll save me time that I’d otherwise
spend scrubbing pancake mix off the counter later on.” “Great,
thanks.” Lauren said as her and Camila sat back down.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 10/17 Clara proceeded to make them
pancakes and when they’d finished eating Lauren got dressed in
her clothes she was wearing to support Camila at court. She drove
Camila and Jasper back home so that her girlfriend could also get
ready and Sinu opened the front door to greet them as soon as
Lauren’s car pulled up at the curb, obviously anxious at finding
Camila missing from her bed when she’d woken up. Soon the time
for the trial had arrived and Alejandro, Sinu, Lauren and Camila
made their way to court, meeting up there with Dinah and her
parents, as well as Ally and Normani. The girls were all standing
just at the front of the public seating area whilst the adults were
in conversation with Camila’s attorney when Clare approached
them timidly, evidently unsure what their response to her would
be this morning if the truth about her relationship to the driver
was finally known. “Hi,” she greeted, lifting up a hand tentatively
in front of her. “So…funny story…but do you remember that
recurring dream I was having about chasing a chicken round a
farmyard?” she asked trying to break the ice. “Well, turns out it
wasn’t a chicken but a cockerel. What do you suppose that
means?” she questioned. “Maybe it means that you’re not in to
girls but in to guys,” Dinah stated easily, a supportive smile on her
face. “Yeah or maybe it means you need to stop eating cheese
before you go to bed.” Normani added. “I think it means that you
fit right in,” Lauren said meeting Clare’s eyes levelly. “You couldn’t
hang out with us if you didn’t have at least one recurrent dream
which bordered on the ridiculous.” “Yeah, I keep having this
dream that Dinah eats me,” Ally confessed. “What?” Normani
laughed heartily having not heard that before. “She’s so much
bigger than me and it’s scary, ok!?” Ally explained quickly. “As if
I’d eat you,” Dinah scoffed. “I mean you’re all skin and bones. Plus
you’re so small you barely qualify as a main meal…you’re more
like an appetiser.” “Oh my God,” Camila laughed. “So…are we
ok?” Clare asked them, needing confirmation. “Only if you’re still
bringing the movie to Normani’s for our next movie night.” Lauren
answered and Camila wrapped an arm around her waist, pleased
by the interaction before her. “Yeah,” Dinah joined in. “You
promised me that you’d bring the Scream trilogy remember? I’ve
looking forward to watching Mila cower behind a pillow ever since
I found out.” “Wait, we’re watching horror movies again?” Ally
complained. “I just had to suffer through ‘I Know What You Did
Last Summer.’ How is that fair?” “You were out voted,” Dinah
said. “You’re…” she started but she was cut off by Camila’s mom
approaching and putting a hand on her daughters shoulder. “Mija,
you need to come and sit with us now.” Sinu informed her,
glancing around at her group of friends. “You can talk with
 everyone during the recess.” “Ok,” Camila acknowledged as Sinu
moved over to sit behind the prosecutions table beside the
attorney representing them in the case. “I guess I’ve got to go,”
she said, to everyone, exhaling loudly. Dinah, Ally and Normani all
offered Camila a kind smile and hugged her before shuffling along
the front bench of the public seating to join Dinah’s parents
leaving just Lauren and Clare remaining with her. “You’ve got
this,” Clare said, placing a hand on Camila’s shoulder
encouragingly, sensing her unease at the situation between them.
“No hard feelings remember?” she reminded the smaller girl
before making a move to leave and join the rest of her family who
were watching the interaction with interest from where they sat.
“Clare, wait.” Camila said urgently, reaching out for the other
girls’ wrist and preventing her from leaving.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 11/17 Clare turned to face her and Camila
smiled warmly. “Thank you for everything,” she said gratefully. “I
know this isn’t easy…” “Sure it is,” Clare disagreed, interceding.
“It’s as easy as this trial will be.” She said, moving her hands up in
front of her and imitating a basketball throw. “Swoosh.” She said
quirking an eyebrow. “Slam dunk.” “I’m sorry,” Camila apologised
to her. “Don’t be,” Clare said, placing a hand on Camila’s forearm.
“The only person to blame for the outcome of this trial is my
uncle.” Clare glanced over her shoulder at her family for an
instant. “I should go,” she recognised. “Ok,” Camila accepted and
Clare nodded before returning to the other side of the gallery and
descending on the bench between an older man and a woman
who Camila assumed to be her parents. “I’m going to sit just
behind you babe,” Lauren said taking hold of Camila’s hand and
pulling her girlfriend’s attention back to her and away from Clare
who appeared to be a heated conversation with those around
her. “If you’re finding it difficult then…just turn and look at me
alright?” “Lauren, you don’t have to stay for the medical
testimony,” Camila stated, her tone serious. “They’re going to
show the pictures and talk about what happened when I was
brought in to the ER…” “I’m not leaving this room,” Lauren cut her
off, squeezing Camila’s hand. “If you say so,” Camila said, “but…if
you need to leave then you can, ok? I know how you found
looking at the pictures when we first did it. I don’t want you to be
here for that if you can’t.” “Camz,” Lauren started to protest. “No,
promise me you’ll leave if you have to,” Camila requested.
“Please? I’d feel better knowing that you did.” Lauren studied
Camila’s face for a second before acquiescing. “Fine,” she
groaned. “I promise I’ll leave if I can’t handle it. Happy?” “Yes,”
Camila said honestly. “Ok, now go and…I don’t know…be a dork
over there for a bit,” she tried to make light of the moment. “I’ll
see you later,” Camila said, kissing Lauren on the lips and then
walking backwards slowly in the direction of the table she’d be sat
at. She kept their hands entwined until the last possible second
and Lauren smiled as Camila’s fingertips finally lost contact with
 her own. The smaller girl smiled at Lauren and then turned
around to join her parents and her attorney. Lauren watched until
she was safely seated and the moved along the bench to sit
beside Normani. “Are you nervous?” Normani asked her friend.
“Yep.” Lauren admitted, her eyes never leaving the back of
Camila. “Me too,” Normani seconded as she reached over and
took hold of Lauren’s hand in her own. She rubbed the back of it
with her thumb and Lauren finally averted her eyes from her
girlfriend to look down at their joined hands. She placed her other
hand on top of Normani’s and glanced up to meet her dark eyes.
“Thanks for being here with me,” Lauren said. “Both of you.” She
said, looking to Ally who was watching Lauren with a sympathetic
look on her face. “Ilove you guys.” Normani hugged Lauren close
to her and Ally reached over and placed a hand across both their
legs, squeezing Lauren’s knee in acknowledgement, silently
returning the sentiment.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 12/17 “We’re here for Camila too,” Ally
said. “I know,” Lauren responded. “That’s part of the reason that
Ilove you. I know we’ve had our ups and down but you really are
my best friends. You’ve been so great this year…” “She’s going to
be fine Lo,” Ally reassured her knowingly, well aware how anxious
she’d been about the trial despite trying to hide her trepidations
from Camila. She patted Lauren’s leg for a few beats before
retracting her arm, Normani also having relinquished her hold on
 her friend. “You think?” Lauren asked, still worried. Ally looked
over at Camila and smiled. “No, I know.” Ally answered and
Lauren regarded her as she sat back against the bench and turned
her attention fully to the front of the room, a multitude of people
entering to take their seats. After the judge had been introduced,
the rules of court announced and the charges against the
defendant laid out, the prosecution and defence took turns to
present their opening statements. Witnesses were brought forth
and questioned, each one crossexamined by each attorney until
the doctor who had first treated Camila in the ER was sworn to
oath in the stand in order to present his testimony regarding
Camila’s condition after the accident. Camila’s attorney stood up
and approached the physician, leaning up against the witness box
on his elbow. “Could you please identify yourself for the court?”
he asked the tall, greyhaired professional sat collectedly behind
the partition. “Yes, my name is Dr Alexander Richardson and I’m
an attending physician in the ER at South Miami hospital.” “You
were on duty the day that Miss Cabello was brought in to your
department, is that correct?” he asked. “Yes,” the doctor
confirmed. “Can you please describe to the jury the injuries which
Miss Cabello presented with on arrival?” he prompted. “On arrival
in the ER, Miss Cabello was in a highly unstable and critical
condition.” He said. “Her respirations were low and her cardiac
output was limited to the point that her heart was barely able to
maintain a systolic blood pressure of more than fifty.” Dr
 Richardson consulted the notes he’d brought with him before
continuing. “She presented with a depressed skull fracture to her
left temporal bone which extended up into her parietal bone. It
was soon found on CT that she had a large subdural haematoma
beneath this as well as some intracerebral bleeding in the tissue
as well. Miss Cabello had suffered multiple fractured ribs on the
left side of her chest extending from T2 through T10 and as a
result of this Miss Cabello’s left lung had been punctured and had
caused a haemopneumothorax which needed to be drained
immediately on arrival to the ER.” Dr Richardson turned the page
in his hands over and continued. “Due to the chest trauma from
the impact of the car Miss Cabello also suffered cardiac
tamponade, a laceration to her spleen and multiple fractures to
her left forearm, wrist and hand.” He explained. “The cardiac
tamponade needed to be drained using pericardiocentesis in the
ER in order to stabilise Miss Cabello for surgery.” “I’d like to take
this opportunity to present exhibit 12 through 18 which are
images taken by the police as evidence following the accident.”
Camila heard gasps from around the room as the large images of
her broken body lying in the hospital bed were shown to the rest
of the court but she kept her eyes forward, not wanting to look at
the people gathered around her for fear of losing her composure.
“Dr Richardson, can you please describe the surgical intervention
necessary as a result of Miss Cabello’s injuries?” Dr Richardson
flicked through Camila’s medical record and found the relevant
 documentation before answering.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 13/17 “Miss Cabello had required multiple
surgical procedures in order to treat her injuries. A craniotomy
was performed to remove the subdural haematoma and correct
the fractures to her skull. A splenectomy was necessary to remove
her lacerated spleen as well as surgical intervention to correct the
damage to her heart and lung. Miss Cabello also required an
external fixation devise to hold the fractures of her left arm in
place whilst they healed but at the time she wasn’t deemed stable
enough to have the further surgery necessary to correct the nerve
damage which resulted in some longterm loss of function to her
hand.” “In your experience what is the mortality rate of patients
who present to the ER in similar conditions?” Camila’s attorney
asked. “It fluctuates depending on age and previous medical
history but normally you’re looking at between an eighty to ninety
percent chance of death.” He stated for the record. Camila heard
noise behind her and followed by two sets of footsteps up the
aisle of the courtroom and she closed her eyes, knowing without
even needing to look that it had been Lauren who’d left. She
twisted her head round in order to confirm her belief and was
proven right when she found the bench behind her empty of both
Lauren and Normani, her eyes meeting both Ally’s and Dinah’s
briefly, the two girls offering her small sympathetic smiles. Camila
faced forward again and tried to concentrate on the witness’
 testimony but she couldn’t, her thoughts with Lauren and
wondering if she was alright. She tried to listen as Dr Richardson
explained that in the ten percent of patients who did survive a
significant road traffic accident and that presented with similar
head injuries; seven percent were often left with irreversible brain
damage and often required longterm care. Two percent of the
remaining three were often left with significant disabilities and
struggled to function without the aid of others. That left just one
percent of patients who regained full independence following a
trauma as significant as Camila had. Camila looked over her
shoulder again in the direction of the door and she struggled to
fight the urge to get up and follow after Lauren. She wanted
nothing more than to be with her, but she was unable to leave
whilst the court was in session unless there were mitigating
circumstances. ‘Fuck it,’ Camila thought raising her hand and
drawing her attorney’s attention. He wandered over to her and
bent low over the desk. “Are you ok?” he asked whispering whilst
Alejandro and Sinu watched. “No,” Camila said, “Ifeel sick…can
I…Ithink I need to leave.” “Ok,” he said, “just…hold on a minute.”
He turned around to face the judge. “May I approach the bench
your honour?” he asked and the judge allowed it so he stepped
forward, the defence attorney joining him. Camila saw the judge
glimpse in her direction before nodding his head. Mr Arnold, her
attorney walked back over. “The judge will let you leave whilst we
conclude the medical testimony but you’ll have to return
 afterwards to give evidence and witness the rest of the
proceedings, ok?” he told her. “He’ll hold a short recess after
we’ve concluded this and I’ll come and find you.” “Alright,” Camila
said gratefully. “Mija do you want me to come with you?” Sinu
asked but Camila put a reassuring hand on her forearm and shook
her head. “No, Ijust need some fresh air. I’m fine.
Honestly…please stay here.” She asked. Sinu nodded her head as
Camila stood up and Mr Arnold opened the partition for her to
leave the court. It took everything in Camila not to run outside,
but she somehow managed to walk calmly to the back of the
room, keeping her eyes focused on the door at the end of the long
aisle so that she could avoid the scrutiny of the people sat in the
public gallery. When she reached it, Camila pushed it open and
disappeared outside, allowing it close behind her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 14/17 Finally free, Camila hurried to the
entrance of the courthouse and escaped through the doors into
the sunlight beyond. She was blinded for a moment as her eyes
adjusted, but she soon saw Lauren sat on the steps, her head
bowed low and Normani’s arms wrapped around her shoulders.
“Lauren!” she called and the greeneyed girl turned her head at
the sound of Camila’s voice and stood up quickly, closing the
distance between them in just a few steps. She flung her arms
around Camila and hugged her tightly, the smaller girl
reciprocating the embrace just as forcefully. “Hey,” Camila said,
 stroking Lauren’s hair as it cascaded down her back and she cried
in to her chest. “It’s ok…” she soothed. “I’m right here…” Camila
saw Normani approach from where she’d been sat and she
squeezed Camila’s shoulder once before returning inside, leaving
the two of them alone. “I’m sorry,” Lauren apologised. “God, I’m
so sorry,” she said, sniffling noisily and turning her head to look up
at Camila. “I’m such an idiot.” She told her. “I didn’t mean to
make you worry, but I just couldn’t stay in there any longer. I
couldn’t…” she started, her words trailing off as she suppressed
another sob. “Itried. I did…” “It’s alright,” Camila comforted her.
“I’m glad that you left. That’s what I wanted remember? I didn’t
want you to stay if you couldn’t. Not for me…you have to look
after yourself too.” “Yeah, but now you’ve left as well,” Lauren
noted. “Now you’re missing the trial…” “It’s fine. I promise it’s not
anything that I don’t already know,” Camila joked, trying to
lighten the mood. “Camz,” Lauren scolded, laughing despite her
tears. Camila released her hold on her girlfriend’s torso and took
her hand to lead her back over to the steps. “Come here,” she
said as she guided Lauren down to the floor so that they were
sitting. She pulled Lauren in to her side, wrapping one arm around
her shoulders as she started playing with the fingers of one of her
hands with her free limb. “You didn’t need to come after me.”
Lauren said after a moment, the hand Camila had draped around
her shoulders brushing lightly against her upper arm. “Normani
was here.” “I know,” Camila responded, “but…I wanted to be with
 you. I owe you at least that after all the times you’ve been there
to comfort me.” “Camz you don’t owe me anything.” Lauren told
her seriously. “No,” Camila opposed genuinely. “I owe you
everything.” She said, kissing the top of Lauren’s head. “Ugh,”
Lauren groaned, wiping at her eyes furiously changing subject.
“Look at me.” She chuckled, burying her face in to Camila’s chest.
“It’s so stupid. I shouldn’t have let it get to me like that. I mean,
you were sat right there in front of me.” Camila smiled and moved
the hand that was stroking Lauren’s arm to brush her girlfriend’s
hair. “It’s alright to cry, even my dad does sometimes.” She
started singing softly and Lauren tilted her face up to look at
Camila who met her gaze amused. “So don’t wipe your eyes, tears
remind you you’re alive.” “Stop it,” Lauren said, hitting Camila
firmly against the sternum with her fist, the other girl laughing
heartily in response. “Ithought we’d talked about this.” “You
talked,” Camila said still chuckling. “I did not listen.” She laughed.
“I already told you that Ed Sheeran is a lyrical genius. I swear one
of these days you’ll believe me.” “Camz, I’m serious,” Lauren
complained. “Yeah, but I’m not,” Camila countered, brushing
some of Lauren’s dark hair out of her emerald eyes so she could
see them better. “Come on,” she urged. “Lighten up a little for
me.” She encouraged, squeezing Lauren in her arm so that she
was pressed against her side further. “I can’t bear the thought of
you crying because of me. I want to make you smile. I don’t ever
want to make you cry.”
 http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 15/17 Camila looked out in front of her and
a crooked smile appeared on her lip as she thought of something.
“Lauren,” she said when her girlfriend didn’t respond and the
taller girl looked up at her again. “You’re strumming on my heart
string….” She started and Lauren sat up tall shaking her head. “No
wait…Camila said as Lauren pushed her firmly on the shoulder
almost knocking her over. “I’ll pick your feet up off of the ground
and never ever let you down, I promise.” “How the fuck do you do
that?” she asked. “Jesus, I can’t even think of a single way to get
some of his lyrics in to normal conversation.” “Don’t question it,”
Camila said, “just hug me again so I can kiss you.” Lauren smiled
and wrapped her arms around Camila, the smaller girl pulling her
in close and kissing her lips, deepening it almost instantly as her
own arms engulfed her girlfriend. “Oi,” Dinah’s voice came from
behind them both interrupting as normal. “Is this a private party
or can anyone join in?” she asked, Ally and Normani with her.
“You can sit with us but I’m not kissing you.” Camila said making a
face as Lauren buried herself in to the shorter girl’s chest again.
Dinah sat beside her best friend and leant against her shoulder
whilst Ally and Normani sat beside Lauren. “Have they finished
yet?” Lauren asked and Dinah shook her head. “Nope,” she
replied. “They’re still being gross and talking about you in the
hospital. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love seeing all your gory
wounds in high definition,” she said sarcastically, “but it’s kind of
 old news now…” “Right?” Camila said, lifting up one arm and
meeting Dinah’s eyes, her own brightening as Lauren laughed.
“God, I mean, they could have played a movie or something for
the rest of us in there…” Dinah went on. “No offense or anything
Mila but you’re kind of boring.” “Then why did you come?” Camila
asked. “I thought there’d be popcorn,” Dinah joked. “The
disappointments just keep on coming.” Camila frowned at Dinah.
“She’s just pissed because no one’s shouted objection yet.” Ally
told Camila. “She was debating doing it herself but…she didn’t
know what to object to…” “I was going to object to the fact that
this trial is boring as hell,” Dinah informed them. “They make
them look so much more exciting on TV.” Camila budged Dinah on
the shoulder and reached for her hand with the one which was
wrapped around Lauren and together the five of them sat outside,
joking around until they were all laughing so much that Normani
bent in half and almost toppled down the stairs. Eventually a
recess was called and following that, Camila and the others re-
entered the court room for the remainder of the testimony,
including her own. Once both sides had called all their witnesses,
the prosecution and the defence both made their closing
statements before the jury was dismissed to debate the verdict.
The break seemed to last forever, but eventually they were all
called back in to court, everyone in the room waiting impatiently
to hear the outcome of the jury’s deliberations whilst the judge
repeated the charges again for all assembled. “How do you find
 the defendant? Guilty or not guilty?” he asked the chair of the
jury having completed the normal routine. When the jury
returned a guilty verdict Camila didn’t cry in relief like her parents,
she didn’t celebrate the win like her attorney and didn’t show any
hint of festivity. Instead she sat at the desk and glanced over at
the man whose head was dropped in to his hands. She couldn’t
help but think it was ironic; that when she’d finally found freedom
from the shackles she’d placed around herself following the
accident that he’d lost his to the confines of a jail cell.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/91791251917/trialsand-
tribulationschapter81 16/17 Camila no longer hated him or
blamed him. She’d made peace with what had happened to her a
while ago. So, while everyone was relieved and grateful for the
outcome she couldn’t help but think it was tragic that one
decision, one choice had so drastically changed his life for the
worse. He had to live with that the same way that Camila had to
live with hers. She thought back on some of the choices she’d
made over the last year and most prominent in her mind was the
one she’d made to live, to not end things even when every fibre of
her being was gnawing away her and telling her that it was the
best thing to do. She remembered the decision she’d made to
give Lauren a chance, to explore a relationship between them and
she turned to face her girlfriend at the memory, glancing over her
shoulder at the brunette who was standing up and watching her,
a sad smile on her face. Lauren knew that Camila probably felt
awful for her unexpected role in the fate of the man stood across
from her, but the truth was that she didn’t. The truth is that he
had made his choices. Hers just happened to be better. A/N: Once
again, sorry it’s so incredibly long but…I suppose you kind of
expect it from me now. Anyway, there is one more ridiculously
fluffy chapter left because I love writing it and then it’ll be the
epilogue.
Chapter 82 part 1
“Mija?” Sinu said, peering in to her daughter’s room from the
doorway with an anxious expression on her face. Camila opened
her eyes, her lids fluttering heavily as though she’d been sleeping
for so long that they’d forgotten how to work. The light that
greeted her was blinding and harsh, forcing them instantly closed
again until she was able to work up the courage and the effort to
open them fully. “Mija,” the soft voice came again from
somewhere close by, a hint of audible concern etched in it. Camila
pried her eyelids open to search for the source of the sound but
instead they fell on to the ceiling above her bed and the white
tiles of the hospital room that she occupied. All around her was
the slow, rhythmic sound of electronic beeps and as she struggled
to remain awake, to pull herself fully out of the deep slumber that
she’d been consumed by she felt a gentle touch on her right arm
and slowly twisted her head in response until she was greeted by
the sight of her mom. The older woman looked tired as she sat in
the chair beside her bed and her eyes were dark and laden with
 the weight of her endless nights of worry. She smiled at Camila
sadly when their eyes finally found each other and the youngster
wanted to reciprocate the gesture but found that she couldn’t,
that her body would not obey her command no matter how much
she willed it to. Camila cleared her throat and licked at her lips,
her mouth feeling dry and parched from a lack of oral fluid intake
as a result of the nasogastric tube which was providing her
nutrition during these early stages of her recovery.
“W…w…whe…” she started stuttering, her voice low and hoarse;
the use of it making her throat protest painfully. “What?” Sinu
probed kindly, brushing the hair at her daughter’s temple lightly
with her fingertips and leaning closer to her small form, her
elbows resting on the bed and sinking in to the mattress.
“W…w…ww…where’s….L..ll..lauren?” Camila asked and Sinu’s
forehead creased in confusion. “Camila,” she started, wearing a
sympathetic look on her face as she continued to play with her
daughters’ hair comfortingly. “Who’s Lauren?” Camila felt her
stomach lurch horribly at the question and a panic welled up
within her that made her chest constrict tightly and trapped all
the air in her lungs without leaving any way for it to escape.
“Camila,” Sinu said urgently, sitting down on the edge of her
daughter’s bed and shaking her shoulder roughly with one hand.
“Mija, wake up.” Camila muttered something inaudible as she
dreamt and Sinu moved the hair out of her daughter’s eyes,
noting the thin sheen of sweat that glistened on her skin and the
 way that her breathing was more laboured than usual. Her limbs
were twitching in the bed
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 2/18 as she slept and Sinu could see
the same distress on her daughter’s features that were always
present during one of her nightmares. “Camila,” Sinu said more
firmly, shaking the girl on the bed vigorously, determined to rip
her from the bad dream she was obviously trapped in. “You need
to wake up now sweetheart,” she encouraged, her voice strong
and loud as she shook her again, “Mija!” This time Camila’s eyes
flew open and it took her a moment to orientate herself, her eyes
darting from side to side and being brutally accosted with her
bedroom wall and the multitude of photos which littered it.
Camila felt disorientated and her chest still heaved rapidly as her
lungs fought to replenish the air which she’d previously believed
to have been imprisoned within them. As her breathing started to
settle and her faculties returned to her, Camila’s eyes managed to
focus on one of the photos directly in front of her on the wall. It
was a picture of her and Lauren during one of their many trips to
the beach and Camila closed her eyes and smiled to herself on
seeing it; a slow, relieved sigh escaping between her pursed lips.
“Mija?” Sinu asked tenderly, her fingertips moving back and forth
across the fabric of her daughter’s Ed Sheeran tshirt in an attempt
at comfort. “Are you ok?” she asked uncertainly. Camila rolled
over on to her back beneath her covers and met Sinu’s troubled
eyes. “Yeah,” she answered, wiping at her forehead with the back
of her hand to rid it of the perspiration which coated it. “I’m ok,”
she sighed truthfully, placing a grateful hand on her mom’s
forearm. “Nightmare?” Sinu questioned knowingly and Camila
nodded her head minutely in answer to the query. “Yes,” Camila
replied. “It’s been a while since you last had one,” Sinu remarked
and Camila shook her head in disagreement. “No it hasn’t,” she
responded, pushing herself up slightly in the bed so that she could
talk to her mom properly. “You haven’t said anything,” Sinu
commented as Camila leant back against the head board, her eyes
glancing at her alarm clock to find that it was just coming up to
nine in the morning. “I know,” Camila said, reaching for the spare
pillow beside her and pulling it over in to her lap. “I didn’t want to
worry you,” she shared with Sinu, her small hand manipulating
the fabric of her pillow case distractedly as her eyes watched.
“Are they still about the accident?” Sinu probed interestedly,
taking hold of Camila’s hand to stop its fidgeting. “Not exactly,”
Camila replied evasively. “Do you think that we need to talk about
them?” Sinu asked and her daughter lifted her eyes and smiled at
her. “I don’t think so,” she said, squeezing her mom’s hand before
elaborating a bit further. “It’s kind of weird but I actually find
them useful.” Sinu studied Camila for a few moments, evidently
debating whether to press the issue any further but she decided
against it, trusting that if it was anything serious that her daughter
would tell her. “Ok, but you know where I am if you change your
 mind.” Sinu accepted, leaving the offer open for future use.
“Yeah, I do,” Camila acknowledged, squeezing her mom’s hand
once more. Sinu tucked a loose strand of messy hair behind
Camila’s ear and smiled happily, placated by her daughter’s
response. “You know,” she started, her voice lowering deviously,
“the reason that I actually came up here was to let you know that
Dinah’s out in the back garden destroying my flower beds.” “She
is?” Camila asked spiritedly, her eyes lighting up in excitement.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 3/18 “Yes,” Sinu confirmed nodding,
the corners of her mouth turning up in to an even wider grin. “I
guess she finally figured out what the key that you gave her
unlocks.” Camila threw the pillow she’d been picking at to one
side and quickly whipped back her duvet cover, almost hitting her
mom in the face with one corner of it in her eagerness to go
downstairs and join her best friend. She flew out the opposite side
of the bed to where Sinu was sat perched and hurried for the door
to her room. “Please put some shoes on before you go outside!”
Sinu entreated, watching as Camila disappeared hastily through
the door, one hand lifting in to view over her right shoulder in
silent recognition of the instruction. Sinu shook her head from
side to side in amusement as she heard Camila bound down the
stairs two at a time and she stood up, laughing to herself as she
made her way out of her oldest daughters’ room and towards
Sofi’s. Once downstairs, Camila barely stopped in the hallway long
 enough to slide her feet in to her crocs before hurrying out the
back door and on to the crisp lawn of the garden. Her eyes
immediately fell on Dinah who, with shovel in hand, was digging a
very large hole in the soil which used to home a small segment of
her mom’s petunias. Camila allowed herself to watch Dinah for a
minute, pleased that her friend had finally realised which lock the
key she’d given her for her birthday opened. “So,” Camila said, a
smirk appearing on her face as Dinah turned her attention in her
direction. “You finally figured it out huh?” Dinah plunged the
shovel in to the ground by her feet and leant on the handle as she
studied the smaller girl approaching her. “No thanks to you,”
Dinah replied, wiping at her forehead with the back of her hand.
“Would it have killed you to give me a hint?” “What can I say?”
Camila returned as she made her way across the distance
between them. “I thought that you were better at riddles than
this. I mean it’s been five days Dinah. Ithought that it would only
take you two at the very most.” “Well excuse me for having baby
brain,” Dinah responded smiling as Camila came to a standstill in
front of her. “That’s seriously the excuse you’re going to use?”
Camila laughed. “Why don’t you just admit that you’d completely
forgotten about the treasure chest we’d buried here during
seventh grade?” “I didn’t forget,” Dinah said sounding insulted by
the accusation. “I just temporarily misplaced the memory, that’s
all.” “You’re such an idiot,” Camila chuckled, stepping forward and
picking up the shovel to take over the digging excavation from the
 Polynesian girl. “You say that like it isn’t a trait that I picked up
from you,” Dinah remarked and Camila rolled her eyes and shook
her head as she continued to heap dirt in to a pile by her feet.
When the edge of the shovel collided with something solid and
produced a loud dull thud, Camila turned to meet Dinah’s gaze
briefly before dropping the tool on to the ground beside her. The
two of them crouched low to the ground over the hole and began
clearing the earth from around the edges of the moderately sized
chest with their hands to expose it further. “Give me some help
lifting it out,” Camila directed as she reached a hand down to find
the grip at one end of the box. Dinah manoeuvred herself so that
she was positioned at the opposite end of the chest and copied
Camila, taking a firm hold of the other handle in her grasp.
Together the two of them lifted the concealed ‘treasure chest’ out
from the ground and moved over to the grass. They carefully
lowered the container on to the lawn and fell to their knees in
front of it, Dinah reaching in to her tshirt and removing the key
which was hanging loosely round her neck on a chain. She pulled
it over her head and pushed it in to the lock, jostling it a little in
order to overcome the stiff layer of rust which had formed on the
metal catch. Camila and Dinah shared a look before the latter girl
turned the key to the left until it clicked, signalling that the latch
was now open. “Do you even remember what we put in here?”
Dinah asked, her fingertips settling around the corner of the lid.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 4/18 “Yes,” Camila answered honestly.
“Don’t you?” “Of course,” Dinah lied. “Remind me to get you
acting classes for your birthday next year,” Camila said, shaking
her head from side to side. Dinah elevated the lid and pushed it
back so that the chest was open. Inside, the contents were
covered in a thick plastic coating and Camila pulled it in opposing
directions with both hands to reveal the treasures within. “Oh my
God,” Dinah practically squealed, removing a small, perfectly
preserved teddy from inside. “Is this Miguel?” “Yes,” Camila
verified, taking the offered stuffed toy from her. “That’s Lucia.”
She informed Dinah, pointing to the doll she now held in her
hands. “She was the first doll that I ever had.” “Hey look at this,”
Dinah said, pulling out an album of photographs as she placed the
doll back inside. Camila scooted closer to her friend as she flicked
open the first page and revealed a photo of the two of them on
Dinah’s first birthday. As they browsed the album Camila and
Dinah found themselves reliving their friendship, a hundred
different memories littering the pages before their very eyes. “I
remember this day,” Dinah said with a nostalgic smile on her lips
as she pointed to a picture of Camila and her on their bikes
outside the Cabello’s house. It had been Camila’s fifth birthday
and her parents had just bought her the bike as a present. “It was
the first time that you’d ever been on a bike,” Dinah commented,
laughing lightly to herself. “You couldn’t figure out how the brakes
worked and ended up driving it in to a tree to stop.” “Alright. You
don’t need to rub it in.” Camila grumbled goodnaturedly. “You’re
parents bought you your first bike when you were four so you had
a year of experience compared to me…” “Itold you that you could
try to ride mine but you said that you were too scared.” Dinah
reminded her. “Yeah and I was,” Camila substantiated, hugging
the slightly musty smelling teddy bear closer to her chest. “You
were already taller than me and I thought I’d fall to my death
because your bike was so big.” “The irony is that you ended
hurting yourself more on your bike than you probably would have
on mine. You broke your wrist, didn’t you?” Dinah chuckled and
Camila nodded. “Yeah, I spent the rest of the day in the
emergency room and it took me three months before I could even
bring myself to try cycling again.” Dinah closed the book and
settled it on the grass in front of her before rummaging through
the chest again. “There are so many great things in here,” Dinah
said trying to squeeze her head in to her favourite baseball cap
which she’d worn every day for two whole months before her
parents could convince her to do otherwise. Camila sat up on to
her knees to peer inside the chest and pulled out a notebook. “Is
that the log of cat activity we kept when we followed Mrs Reid’s
tortoiseshell around the neighbourhood?” Dinah asked. “Yeah
listen,” Camila responded, opening the first page and reading the
entry aloud. “Day 1, 10.20am. Misty is licking her paw. It looks like
she is enjoying it. Probably stepped in some peanut butter.
10.23am. Misty is now rubbing her paw behind her ear. Probably
 saving the rest of the peanut butter for later when she’s hungry.
Good idea. I’m going to try it.” “Wait, what does that say?” Dinah
questioned pointing to something highlighted with an asterisk
written just below the entry.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 5/18 “Note: I am hungry. I want a
peanut butter sandwich. C.” Camila laughed, putting the
notebook back in the chest. “We were so lame.” “No we weren’t.”
Dinah disagreed, studying the box before her and reaching over
for Camila’s hand. “You were lame.” She teased, before meeting
Camila’s hazelnut eyes. “This is awesome. Thank you. I really love
it. All of our favourite things from growing up are in here.” She
remarked, moving a few items aside with her free hand. “I know,”
Camila acknowledged. “I thought that you could have it and give
some of the stuff in it to the baby,” she said, rubbing the back of
her friends hand with her thumb and handing Dinah her favourite
childhood teddy bear with the other. “I thought there were a lot
of good memories in it.” She explained. “I’d hoped that maybe
you could share them…you know, when they’re a bit older. Tell
them all about our crazy adventures. Maybe it’ll inspire them and
their best friend. Then someday maybe they’ll make something
similar…” she trailed off reticently. “You know,” Dinah said,
removing her hand from Camila’s and instead wrapping it around
the smaller girls’ shoulders. “I can only hope that my kid is lucky
enough to one day have a best friend as amazing as you are.”
 “They will,” Camila said with certainty, blushing at the
compliment. “There’s no way they can grow up with a mom as
bighearted and as kind as you are without being just as friendly
and likeable. They’re going to have more friends then you’ll be
able to keep up with.” “It’s not the quantity that matters. It’s the
quality.” Dinah said seriously. “I’d rather they had one friend like
you then twenty who weren’t.” “Really?” Camila asked. “Yes,”
Dinah replied. “In fact, I was talking to Siope the other day and we
decided that we want to name the baby after you.” She told her.
“I know the others have been joking about me naming it after one
of them but I always knew, ever since I decided to keep it, that I
only ever wanted it to have your name.” “Wait, which one?”
Camila asked trying to make light of the situation at a loss for
what else to say. She narrowed her eyes and caused Dinah to
smile. “Karla,” she answered simply. “I know that you don’t really
like it but I do.” Dinah informed her. “I suppose I could have called
her Camila but I thought that might get confusing when you’re in
the same room together. Besides, either name represents the
same thing.” “What’s that?” Camila questioned. “Strength,
resilience, loyalty, intelligence.” Dinah listed off easily. “All the
qualities I’d want for them to have.” Camila didn’t really know
what to say in response to Dinah’s gesture because she felt so
completely overwhelmed by it. The fact that Dinah would want to
name her child after her was a truly wonderful privilege and she
was touched that her best friend had even considered the
 possibility yet alone decided to act on it. “What if the baby is a
boy?” Camila asked her, still not knowing what else to say in order
to thank her for the distinction. “You can’t really call him Karla,
can you?” “No,” Dinah laughed. “So we thought we’d call him
Milo instead.” “Milo?” Camila asked. “Yeah Mila,” she said
emphasising her best friends nickname. “Milo” Camila smiled at
the thought Dinah had obviously put in to this decision and
nodded her head. “Milo,” she repeated. “Ithink that has a really
nice ring to it.” “So what do you think?” Dinah asked her. “Is it ok
if we name the baby after you?” Camila didn’t say anything but
nodded her head as she wiped at her moist eyes. “Is that a yes?”
Dinah asked and Camila nodded her head again. “Yeah,” she
answered; her voice thick with emotion. “I don’t think I’ll ever get
a better honour than that in my entire life.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 6/18 “Then it’s settled.” She
remarked, pulling Camila in to her side further and rubbing her
upper arm. Camila returned the hug and embraced Dinah in
return, her arms enveloping the taller girl and holding her tightly
as she leant her head against her shoulder. “Happy birthday
Dinah,” Camila wished her belatedly, turning her face up to look
at her friend. “Thank you for being conscious for it this year Mila,”
Dinah joked and Camila sat back and hit her playfully, causing
Dinah to laugh. “What?” she asked still chuckling. “I mean it. It
really helped to make the day more of a celebration.” She mocked
 and Camila pushed her again. Dinah rubbed at her arm
dramatically in response to the shove but soon took on a more
serious countenance. “Honestly though Mila thank you for the
present.” Dinah said appreciatively. “You were right. I really do
love it.” “This is only a part of it,” Camila said, a smug smile
appearing on her face. “It is?” Dinah asked. “Yes,” Camila
returned. “I was waiting until the settlement from the driver was
confirmed before I told you but now that a decision has been
made about that I guess I finally can…” She said trailing off
thoughtfully. “We’re going to Disneyworld in a few weeks; my
parent’s, Sofi and I.” Camila told her. “We wanted you to come
with us too… if you want to that is…” “Are you joking?” Dinah
asked. “No, I’m serious.” Camila assured her. “I know you won’t
be able to go on some of the rides because of the pregnancy but
it’s a chance for you to have one final vacation as a kid before you
become a mom.” Dinah pulled Camila in to a ginormous bear hug.
“Is that a yes?” Camila asked, repeating her friend’s earlier
question back to her. “You want to come too?” “Yes!” Dinah said
conclusively. “That’s most definitely a ‘yes’” Camila wrapped her
arms around Dinah’s torso and held her close. “Ilove you Dinah,”
Camila declared. “Thank you for being my big little sister.”
“Great…now I’m crying” Dinah said laughing, her tears blurring
her vision. “It’s the hormones,” Camila chuckled, still holding on
to Dinah tightly. “No it isn’t.” Dinah disclosed honestly. “It’s
because I love you too and I don’t know what I would have done if
 I’d lost you Mila.” “You would have been fine.” Camila said
rubbing Dinah’s back with one hand comfortingly. “No,” Dinah
responded, shaking her head so that Camila could feel the
movement against her cheek. “I wouldn’t have.” Camila released
Dinah and held on to her shoulders as she pushed her back to look
at her. “I guess that we could spend the whole day arguing about
this if we really wanted to but, it’d be kind of pointless
considering…” Camila stated; smiling as Dinah wiped at her eyes.
“So, how about we go upstairs and you can cheer yourself up
watching Sofi practice her birthday present for Lauren?” “Ok,”
Dinah agreed, putting all the treasures from their past back in to
the box and closing the lid securely. The two of them stood up
and carried the trunk inside, abandoning it in the hallway before
going upstairs to find Sofi singing to herself in her room. Dinah
stayed with the younger girl whilst Camila got dressed and after
they’d all had breakfast, the three of them busied themselves
with preparing for Lauren’s birthday barbecue until it was
eventually time for them to leave.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 7/18 “Here Jasper,” Camila beckoned,
patting her thighs with both hands, her posture slightly bent
forward. The Springer spaniel bounded over to her
enthusiastically and Camila hooked his leash on to his collar. She
handed it to Dinah to hold and her mom handed Camila her guitar
which she took from her gratefully. “We’ll see you a bit later on,”
 Sinu said to her daughter who was untwisting the guitar strap in
her hands. “Try not to eat all the food before we get there.” She
teased as Camila untangled it and placed it across her shoulders
so that the instrument was now resting upside down against her
back. “I won’t,” Camila replied as she reached down for Sofi’s
hand protectively. “Are you sure that you don’t want a lift there?”
Sinu asked glancing back in to the kitchen to check the oven and
make sure her cakes weren’t burning. “No thanks.” Camila
answered. “It’ll be the only chance we get to walk Jasper today so
we might as well make our own way there.” “Alright,” she said,
kissing Camila’s forehead gently and then placing another kiss
against the top of Sofi’s head. “Be careful.” “We will,” Sofi said
holding on to Camila’s hand tightly as she opened the front door.
Camila waved goodbye to her mom and together she, Dinah, and
Sofi made the journey to Lauren’s house, stopping outside on the
front path when they arrived. “Ok Sofi,” Camila said, crouching
down in front of her sister and placing a hand on her shoulder.
“This is your big moment ok?” she continued. “Are you ready?”
Sofi nodded and Camila reached in to her sister’s backpack and
retrieved one of Jaspers tennis balls. Camila stood back up and
faced the house, launching the small projectile up at Lauren’s
bedroom window with her right hand, missing it by a mile. “Want
me to do it?” Dinah offered and Camila reached in to the bag to
remove another ball hidden inside. “No I can do it.” Camila said
defensively, remembering how she’d managed to throw her pill
bottle so effortlessly in to her waste paper basket only a few short
days ago. “If you say so,” Dinah laughed and Camila threw the
new ball at the window again, the small missile hitting it firmly in
the centre of the glass. Camila gave Dinah a haughty look. “You do
know that isn’t Lauren’s bedroom window, right?” Dinah laughed.
“What? Of course it is.” Camila refuted. “Nope,” Dinah said simply
as the window opened to reveal Lauren’s mom, Clara. “Camila?”
she said, leaning out the now open gap and glancing at the trio
which stood in her front garden. “Oh…Hi Mrs Jauregui,” Camila
greeted, her cheeks blushing profusely in her embarrassment.
“What are you three doing?” Lauren’s mom laughed.
“We’re….uh….you see…” Camila stuttered feeling mortified. “It’s
just…” “If you’re after Lauren she’s next door,” Clara said, pointing
at the window one over and then disappearing from view for the
briefest of moments. Just as she returned to her previous position
Lauren opened her bedroom window and peered out of it, the
smile plastered on her face making her eyes sparkle luminously.
“Camz?” Lauren said chuckling as she surveyed the scene beneath
her. “What are you up to?” “Nothing,” Camila said as Sofi
shouted, “Happy Birthday Lauren!” at the top of her lungs and
clapped her hands nosily together, drowning out the older girl
almost completely. The youngster bounced up on to the balls of
her feet excitedly and tugged on Camila’s arm in order to urge her
in to action.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
 tribulationschapter82part1 8/18 “Ok, ok…” Camila said in
response to Sofi’s pleas, glancing back up at Lauren who had leant
her elbows on the window frame. She watched as Camila spun
her guitar around her torso so that it was now in front of her and
Sofi hurriedly removed Ifos, Camila’s stuffed unicorn toy, from her
backpack as her sister started to play a few chords on the
instrument. Camila stumbled over the first couple and internally
cursed herself at the error. “Damn it,” Camila muttered as she
paused momentarily to stretch out the fingers of her left hand.
“Come on!” Sofi said animatedly, motioning for Camila to play
again and the older Cabello complied, repeating the same
sequence of chords more accurately on the second attempt.
“Unicorns I love them. Unicorns I love them. Uniuniunicorns, I
love them. Uniunicorns, I could pet one if they were really real.
And they are! So I bought one so I could pet it. Lalalala.” Sofi sang
loudly, holding up Ifos as Camila played her made up
accompaniment to the song her sister had plagiarised from
Despicable Me. Sofi repeated the same lyrics again a second time
before changing them to something more original. “Happy
birthday unicorn. I love uniunicorns. Happy birthday unicorn. I
love them!” Sofi finished and both Lauren and her mom clapped
the girls’ performance from their high vantage point. Sofi looked
at Camila who was also clapping and took a low, overly dramatic
bow causing the older girl to laugh. “Sofi wait there for me, ok?”
Lauren called down, pointing at the younger girl before
 disappearing out of sight. Clara followed suit and a few moments
later the front door of Lauren’s house opened and the greeneyed
girl emerged and made her way over to where the trio remained
standing. As soon as the door was open Sofi ran over to Lauren
and threw her arms around her waist, Ifos now forgotten and
discarded on the ground by Camila’s feet. “Happy birthday
unicorn!” Sofi wished the older girl and Lauren crouched down to
hug her. “Thank you for the birthday song,” Lauren told her
sincerely, relaxing her hold on the seven year olds small form.
“Did you like it?” she asked. “I loved it.” Lauren replied as Camila
approached, Ifos in hand and her guitar slung around her back
again. “Don’t ask me why she chose that song,” Camila said in
greeting, holding the stuffed toy out for her sister to take. “She
said that you’d know why she had…” “I do,” Lauren shared. “It’s
mine and Sofi’s secret, isn’t it?” Lauren asked the youngster,
standing up as Dinah and Jasper came to a stop beside them.
“Yep,” Sofi said, squashing Ifos in her arms. Camila looked
between Lauren and Sofi. “Should I even ask?” Camila questioned,
raising an eyebrow. “It’s probably best that you don’t.” Lauren
responded, taking a step closer to her girlfriend and enclosing her
neck with her arms. “Hey.” She said alluringly in greeting. “Hi,”
Camila reciprocated, her hands instinctively finding their way
around Lauren’s hips. She pulled the greeneyed girl closer against
her and kissed her deeply on the lips. “Happy birthday,” Camila
said warmly, one corner of her mouth curving up in to her familiar
 crooked smile. “Thanks,” Lauren said as Camila tilted her head
forward and kissed her again. Her mouth lingered against the soft
flesh of her girlfriend’s and Camila darted her tongue inside
Lauren’s lips so that it tousled with the greeneyed girls’ keenly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 9/18 “Ahem,” Dinah cleared her
throat and Lauren reluctantly separated from Camila to look at
her friend. “Aloha,” the Polynesian said once she had Lauren’s
attention. “What am I? Invisible?” “I wish,” Lauren kidded, letting
go of Camila to hug the other girl. “Happy birthday,” Dinah
wished. “Did you get me something good?” Lauren questioned
and Dinah indicated Camila on her right. “I brought you Camila,”
Dinah quipped. “So then…you did.” Lauren said thoughtfully,
grinning at Dinah who rolled her eyes. “Oh geez,” she groaned.
“Here we go.” “Are you going to kiss again?” Sofi asked, tugging
on Lauren’s shirt and looking up at her sister and the other older
girl. “Sofi!” Dinah chortled. “What have you been doing? Hanging
around with Ally?” she asked. “I didn’t realise you enjoyed
watching them kiss so much. I’m going to have to keep my eye on
you in the future.” “You made them kiss before,” Sofi complained,
referring back to the time Camila had been in hospital over
Christmas. “Yes but I’m allowed,” Dinah informed her jovially. “I’m
the captain of the Camren ship and you’re the…you’re the first
mate…” she said. “The first mate can’t make them kiss. Only the
captain can do that and I’ve just eaten. Give me a few minutes for
 my stomach to settle ok?” “What’s a Camren ship?” Sofi asked,
looking confused. “You know what, don’t worry about it.” Dinah
said, “I’m going to take Jasper inside to get some water.” “Bye,”
Sofi said waving at Dinah. “Oh no,” Dinah said, giving Camila and
Lauren a pointed look as she took hold of the young girls’ roving
hand in her own. “You’re coming too.” “What? Why?” Sofi asked.
“Just…come on,” Dinah encouraged, pulling an unwilling Sofi
behind her as she made her way inside. “So,” Camila said,
returning her hands to their previous resting place around
Lauren’s waist. “Are you seriously not going to tell me about this
whole unicorn thing?” “Maybe one day I will.” Lauren answered;
her tone noncommittal. “Not today though?” Camila asked her
and Lauren smiled brightly at the question. “No,” she said kissing
Camila’s forehead over her scar. “Not today.” “Did you get any
good presents for your birthday?” Camila asked her, changing the
subject as she rocked Lauren in her arms gently from side to side.
“Yeah,” Lauren replied. “I did.” she said, kissing Camila beneath
the jaw, her hands finding their way to her girlfriend’s cheeks so
that she could tilt her head up and expose her throat further. She
placed a delicate kiss against the hollow of Camila’s neck and felt
the smaller girl swallow hard in response to the sensation.
“W…what did you…g…get?” Camila probed struggling to
concentrate while Lauren was trailing kisses back along her jaw
line. “Money,” Lauren whispered as her mouth came to hover by
Camila’s ear, her hot breath causing a shiver to run down the
 length of the browneyed girl’s spine. “Clothes.” She continued,
her voice still lowered and strangely seductive despite the words
it spoke. “A new softball mitt.” She murmured, kissing Camila’s
neck again. “You…” she finished flirtatiously. Camila gulped.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 10/18 “D…D…Dinah’s…good
with…g..gifts.” Camila stuttered feeling flustered as one of
Lauren’s hands pushed up the front of her tshirt and the other
groped at her buttock. “I kind of love it when you stutter because
you’re all hot and bothered.” Lauren admitted; sucking lightly on
the spot just above her girlfriend’s collar bone, one hand now
stretching the fabric of Camila’s top to expose the supple skin
beneath the neck line whilst the other moved round to fiddle with
the button on her denim shorts. “It’s a nice change from you
stuttering because you’re stressed.” She smiled against Camila’s
flesh. “Y…yeah…w…well…I kind of l…love it…when
I…c…can…breathe,” Camila stammered, her eyes closed. She felt
Lauren’s hand move to the side of her face and her girlfriend
connected their lips and kissed her deeply, her tongue roaming
expertly inside Camila’s mouth. Camila sank in to the kiss, her
chest pressing against Lauren’s firmly as the taller girl sucked on
her tongue and tickled the roof of her mouth, the fingertips of her
right hand grazing the scarred skin of Camila’s left side tenderly
having abandoned the fastening on her shorts momentarily. “I’ve
paid to watch things less pornographic than this,” Chris said
 interrupting the moment and causing Camila to snap her head
back so fast that she was almost positive she’d just given herself
whiplash. “Hi Camila.” He said; a huge smile splashed across his
features, his arms crossed over his chest as he quirked up an
eyebrow. Camila coughed at the air caught in her throat and the
taste of Lauren still stayed painfully on her lips. “H…h…hi.” She
managed to choke out, shaking her head from side to side in
order to clear it, causing him to chortle heartily. “Sorry,” he
apologised holding up one hand. “Don’t let me stop you guys.
Carry on as you were.” “Jesus,” Lauren groaned, rubbing Camila
on the back pacifyingly with one hand to try and help her catch
her breath. “Why is everyone that we know a complete pervert?”
Lauren complained, removing her other hand from Camila’s
stomach as a car pulled up at the curb and Ally and Normani got
out. “Speaking of…” she said, putting on a smile and offering them
a wave. Camila cleared her throat again and met Chris’ gaze as
Lauren stepped out of her hold and approached her two friends.
Lauren’s brother walked over and stood next to her so that they
were shoulder to shoulder, his eyes watching Lauren as she
hugged the other two girls’ who were offering her the gifts that
they held in their hands. “Do you need a drink of water?” he
asked Camila who was still facing towards the house. “Actually…”
Camila started, swallowing hard, her voice raspy and hoarse as
she turned her head to look at him. “Ithink I do.” Chris met her
gaze and laughed, nodding his head in approval, an amused smile
on his face. “I’m not surprised. I was getting thirsty just looking at
you,” he commented, winking. “I seriously need to get myself a
girlfriend.” “Perhaps if you weren’t so depraved you’d have one.”
Camila stated, punching him on the arm as he flinched away from
her. “There’s something seriously wrong with you wanting to
watch your sister make out with her girlfriend.” “I’m a teenage
boy,” he said in his defence, still covering his upper arm with his
hand protectively. “We’d pretty much watch anything. Besides,
from the back you couldn’t even tell it was her.” “Oh my God,”
Camila returned, making a face. Chris was about to say something
in response to Camila’s objection but was beaten to the post by
Lauren. “Hey Camz,” Lauren called, drawing her girlfriend’s
attention to her as she made her way back towards the smaller
girl. “Yeah,” Camila breathed as Lauren wandered along the
garden path towards her. Ally and Normani waved at Camila in
greeting and she returned the gesture easily. “Hi guys,” she
greeted warmly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 11/18 “Are you alright?” Lauren asked
perceptively, forgetting the earlier question she was going to ask
her girlfriend when she saw Camila’s countenance. A soft chuckle
escaped her lips at the sight of Camila looking so rattled. “I don’t
think so.” Camila answered truthfully; still completely bewildered
by everything that had happened in the last five minutes. Lauren
linked her free arm with Camila’s as she came alongside her and
she started to lead her back in the direction of the house; Ally and
Normani following closely behind them talking to Chris
enthusiastically. “Why what’s wrong?” Lauren questioned. “Don’t
ask,” Camila chuckled as they came to a stop just by the front
door. “Aren’t you guys coming in?” Ally asked as Chris stepped
around Lauren and made his way back inside. “Just give us a
minute,” Lauren requested of her friend. “No problem,” Ally
agreed, reaching forward to take Lauren’s gifts from her. “I’ll take
these inside. That way you’ll have your hands free…” “Ally,”
Camila grumbled and the smaller girl winked at her before
entering Lauren’s house. “Take your time you two,” Normani
added as she disappeared behind Ally. “Can we relocate
somewhere?” Camila asked as Lauren took both her girlfriend’s
hands in her own. “Sure,” Lauren agreed, moving both of Camila’s
hands round to the small of her back as she pulled her in to her.
“Where do you want to go?” “Anywhere that all these sexual
deviants that we call friends and family are not,” Camila said
seriously. Lauren laughed at her girlfriend’s agitated expression
and traced the outline of the scar on her forehead as she studied
her features. “Yeah but babe,” she started, lowering her voice
slightly, her tone soft, “you’ll still be there.” She said pointedly.
“What are you trying to say?” Camila asked shrewdly and Lauren
placed a hand on the back of Camila’s head and drew it forward
so that she could kiss her tenderly just above her right eye.
“Nothing,” she replied lightly. “I’m not trying to say anything at
all.” “Good because I still have your birthday present to give you,”
Camila replied suggestively, meeting her eyes again. “So you
might want to be careful what you say…” “Why?” Lauren asked
playing along and compressing Camila in her arms tightly. “What
did you get me?” “You’re just going to have to wait and see aren’t
you?” Camila teased, bringing her mouth closer to Lauren’s. The
taller girl tried to move her head forward to kiss Camila but the
browneyed girl retreated away from the contact, eyeing Lauren
mischievously. “Don’t you have any selfcontrol?” She asked and
Lauren pulled Camila in to her once more, her mouth almost, but
not quite meeting her girlfriends who had turned her head at the
last minute. “Sure I do,” Lauren responded unconvincingly, opting
to quickly kiss Camila on her exposed cheek instead. “It’s just that
I seem to have misplaced it…temporarily of course….you know
how careless I can be sometimes…” she rambled, kissing the side
of Camila’s neck repeatedly, her girlfriend squirming to try and
free herself from the assault but failing, Lauren’s arms clamped
around her torso tightly. “Lauren,” Camila said giggling, the high
pitched noise sounding far too girly and unusual coming out of her
mouth. “Stop it,” she halfheartedly protested, pushing her hands
against Lauren’s chest.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 12/18 “I’ll stop it when you stop being
so attractive.” She proposed before capturing Camila’s lips in her
mouth as she struggled in her grasp. Camila, caught off guard,
 allowed herself to get lost in the kiss, her body relaxing instantly,
all thought of escape vanishing when her girlfriend’s mouth was
pressed so gratifyingly against her own. “This is your fault really,”
Lauren exhaled against Camila’s skin as she kissed beneath her
jaw and sucked on her pulse point. “You can’t blame me for my
lack of selfcontrol when you come over to my house looking like
this.” “I always look this this,” Camila reminded her, taking
Lauren’s mouth in her own again for a moment. “I know,” Lauren
breathed, her mouth hovering just in front of her girlfriend’s
whilst her hand pushed up the hem of Camila’s tightfitting tshirt
again to expose her stomach, “and it’s a massive problem for me.”
Camila’s eyes fell to Lauren’s lips and she licked her bottom one
briefly before biting down on it hard. “Lauren…” Camila pleaded
as her girlfriend’s hand moved up to rest over the side of her
chest. “Mmhmm,” Lauren responded, exhaling deeply so that
Camila could practically taste her girlfriend in the particles of air
she’d expelled. “I fucking hate you sometimes,” Camila sputtered,
finally succumbing to Lauren’s advances and bringing their
mouths together, pushing up on her toes to force their lips more
firmly against one another as she deepened the kiss pleasurably.
She thrust Lauren up against the side of the house by the door,
pinning her there with her hips as one hand came to rest on her
neck, the other fixed firmly around her right buttock. Lauren’s
hands found their way up under Camila’s tshirt where they
roamed her back freely, knocking against her guitar from time to
 time in their wandering. Camila felt Lauren smile against her lips
and parted the two of them, her pupils dilated as their eyes met.
Lauren lightly brushed one of Camila’s upper arms and smiled at
her girlfriend happily. “You know you’ve got your work cut out for
you Camz,” Lauren teased cheerfully as she caught her breath. “I
don’t know how your gift is going to beat Dinah’s.” She joked.
“She’s clearly winning in the present giving department so far.”
“Please,” Camila scoffed. “Dinah’s got nothing on me.” “Prove it,”
Lauren challenged her. “I will.” Camila accepted smugly. “Just, not
right now…” she said; the insinuation clear. “You can have the rest
of my present later.” “I don’t know if I can wait until later.” Lauren
admitted, leaning her upper torso back but pressing her hips
against Camila’s further. “Well, you’re going to have to.” Camila
notified Lauren, tapping her softly on the nose with the point of
her index finger. “So you should probably go and find that self-
control that you ‘misplaced.’” She suggested, making air
quotations with her hands as she stood back and side stepped
round Lauren in to the house. Lauren smiled to herself and
followed in Camila’s wake, pushing herself away from the side of
the house to join the rest of her assembled visitors in the kitchen
with her mom, brother and younger sister Taylor. Her dad was
outside preparing the barbecue while Lauren opened her gifts
from her friends, including the real one that Dinah had bought her
which had been tucked away in Sofi’s rucksack for safe keeping. It
was later, when the rest of the party guests started to arrive and
 the celebrations really began to get in to full swing that Camila,
two guitars in her hands, sauntered over to where Lauren was
sitting with the others. “Camz, why do you have my guitar?”
Lauren asked her, lowering the glass of juice she’d been about to
drink on to the garden table so she could reach for the instrument
hesitantly. “I want to sing a duet,” Camila said, placing her own
over her shoulder again. “What? Now?” Lauren questioned
surprised. “You mean…here…in front of everyone?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 13/18 “Yeah,” Camila replied. “Alright,
nice try Camz,” Lauren laughed, placing her guitar down on the
ground at her feet. “Pull the other one, ok? I’m not stupid. You
were just saying a few weeks ago that you’d never do that. You
said that you don’t sing in public…” “I know I did,” Camila
recognised, cutting her off, “but I thought that seeing as I’m
starting my life over again perhaps I should try something new.”
She said a little anxiously. “Besides, if I remember correctly you
told me that if I ever got good enough again that you’d love to
play guitar together.” Lauren studied Camila closely, looking for
any falsehood in her words and finding none. She clearly
remembered the day that Camila was referring to, back when
they had been nothing more than friends. They’d been in the
smaller girl’s bedroom with Dinah after a particularly bad day for
Camila and Lauren had helped her now girlfriend to pick up her
guitar for the first time since the accident. The two of them had
 worked their way through Demi Lovato’s ‘Heart Attack’ together
and the smile that had appeared on Camila’s face at the small
accomplishment had made Lauren feel as though she’d just won a
million dollars on the lottery she’d been so overjoyed to see it.
“I’m not joking Lauren,” Camila said seriously, noting her
girlfriend’s hesitation. “I want to sing a duet with you. It’s a part of
your birthday present…” Lauren still didn’t look convinced by
Camila’s words so the smaller girl walked over to the stereo player
which was blaring out ‘The Script’ and turned it off. She plucked at
her guitar strings as the conversation around her started to die
down, the realisation that the music had stopped sinking in to the
gathered guests. Camila waited hopefully, her eyes fixed on
Lauren who sat with the rest of their group and Sofi. When the
other girl didn’t stand up to join her, Camila glanced around at the
people jotted all over the backyard and thought it best that she
said something in answer to their questioning looks. “Sorry
to…umm…interrupt…but…I…well…ok…so…if you know me,
then…well…you know that I don’t really do this…ever…” Camila
started, looking around at the faces who were now watching her
intently, her eyes lowering to the ground every so often in her
shyness, “but…well…Lauren was the first person that really made
me believe that I could ever play the guitar again…you
know…when I injured my hand…” she shared, not divulging her
whole backstory because she was aware that not everyone
present knew it. “So…I want to play a song…you know…with
 her…if that’s ok?” she asked timidly. “Kind of as a…thank you…I
guess…” she explained. Camila looked back at Lauren who sat
examining her, unmoving and she noticed her sister’s eyes
skimming between the two of them worriedly. On meeting
Camila’s gaze, Sofi stood up from her seat determinedly and
picked up Lauren’s guitar, holding it out to her when the other girl
still didn’t budge. “Here,” Sofi said, smiling brightly as Lauren’s
eyes fell on her. “She’s really good, I promise.” The youngster
reassured Lauren and the older girl took the instrument and stood
up, making her way slowly over to Camila. “WOOO!” Dinah
shouted clapping loudly watching the spectacle unfold. “Get it
Mila!” “Yeah, you got this!” Normani encouraged. “Camz, are you
sure about this?” Lauren asked quietly, slipping her guitar strap
over her shoulder as she came to stand beside her girlfriend.
“Yeah,” Camila said; her nerves palpable. “I can do this…I
mean…it’s just me and you here right?” she asked and Lauren
smiled. “Yeah, it’s just me and you.” Lauren lied helpfully. “Ok,
so…I’ll just…I’ll look at you and then it’ll be fine…” Camila impelled
herself, looking at the guitar in her hands. Lauren placed the palm
of her hand on Camila’s reassuringly. “Camz you know that don’t
have to do this?” she told her and Camila looked around at the
spectators faces indecisively. “I know but…I want to.” She replied
simply. “Ok,” Lauren said. “As long as you’re sure though?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 14/18 Camila looked around the
 backyard once more before nodding her head in the affirmative.
“I’m sure.” “Alright, so what are we going to play?” Lauren asked
already having a vague idea. She adjusted her guitar to a more
comfortable position and Camila just gave her a small smile in
answer to the question as she started to play the instrument, the
music that filled Lauren’s ears making her eyes moisten
automatically. After a few bars had passed, Camila started to sing,
her eyes fixing on Lauren’s and never leaving them. “All I knew
this morning when I woke, is I know something now, know
something now, I didn’t before. And all I’ve seen since eighteen
hours ago, is green eyes and freckles in your smile, in the back of
my mind making me feel like…I just wanna know you better, know
you better, know you better now. I just wanna know you better,
know you better, know you better now…” Lauren could see the
way Camila’s hands shook and hear the slight catch in her voice
caused by her anxieties, so she took a step towards the smaller
girl, supporting her in the best way that she could. She strummed
on her own guitar, picking up the tune as she joined in with her
girlfriend, their voices blending together in harmony as Lauren
started singing. “I just wanna know you better now, know you
better, know you better now. I just wanna know you, know you,
know you.” ‘Cause all I know is we said ‘Hello.” And your eyes look
like coming home. All I know is a simple name. Everything has
changed. All I know is you held the door, you’ll be mine and I’ll be
yours. All I know since yesterday is everything has changed.”
 Camila swallowed hard, her hands still playing the instrument in
them as she gave Lauren a small, tentative nod to continue. “And
all my walls, stood tall painted blue. And I’ll take them down, take
them down and open up the door for you.” Lauren went on,
stepping closer to Camila, trying to reassure her. “And all I feel in
my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind, making up for lost
time, taking flight, making me feel right.” Lauren held Camila’s
gaze as her girlfriend joined in once again. “I just wanna know you
better, know you better, know you better now. I just wanna know
you better, know you better, know you better now. I just wanna
know you better, know you better, know you better now.”
Camila’s speech faltered for a moment as she glanced at the
people watching the performance, but Lauren pressed on, the
browneyed girl soon catching back up again when her hazelnut
eyes darted back and met emerald ones. “’Cause all I know is we
said, ‘Hello.’ And your eyes look like coming. All I know is a simple
name/. Everything has changed. All I know is you held the door.
And you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours. All I know since yesterday is
everything has changed. Come back and tell me why, I’m feeling
like I’ve missed you all this time. And meet me there tonight, and
let me know that it’s not all in my mind.” Lauren nodded her head
up and down, prompting Camila to sing by herself, encouraging
her silently, a warm, delighted smile on her face at the pride that
welled up within her as her eyes fell on to Camila’s left hand
which was struggling to keep up but still managing it despite its
 impairments. “I just wanna know you better, know you better,
know you better now. I just wanna know you, know you, know
you…” “All I know is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like
coming home. All I know is a simple name. Everything has
changed. All I know is you held the door and you’ll be mine and I’ll
be yours. All I know since yesterday is everything has changed.”
Lauren’s voice merged with Camila’s again. “All I know is we said,
‘Hello.’ So dust off your highest hopes. All I know is pouring rain
and everything has changed. All I know is a new found grace. All
my days I’ll know your face. All I know since yesterday is
everything has changed.” Camila finished, heaving a huge sigh of
relief as she strummed a few final notes, a large, all
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 15/18 encompassing grin breaking out
across her face as the crowd around her clapped. Camila caught
sight of her mom and Clara standing together by the kitchen door
and they both smiled in her direction when their eyes met. Camila
reciprocated the gesture but dropped her gaze to the floor,
feeling more than a little selfconscious. Lauren released her guitar
and moved it around so that it rested across her back. She took a
step forward and pulled both her girlfriend and the instrument
she held in to a heartfelt embrace, her chin settling against
Camila’s shoulder, her arms crushing her enthusiastically. Lauren
turned her face and planted a quick kiss against Camila’s cheek, a
small audible laugh escaping her lips. “That’s the song I wanted us
to sing together at prom,” Lauren whispered in to her ear happily.
“I know,” Camila nodded against her, finding it difficult to
reciprocate Lauren’s hug because of the cumbersome guitar
between them. “I’m sorry I was late…again,” she added laughing,
“but…that was so fucking scary…” she admitted. “You weren’t
late,” Lauren assured her. “You’re never late, you’re just…you get
everywhere in your own time…that’s all.” “Thank you for singing
with me,” Camila said grateful for her girlfriend’s support. “Well, I
couldn’t just leave you hanging could I?” she asked, releasing her
hold on Camila. “I mean, it’s not like I have a valid excuse like you
did…” “Lauren,” Camila groaned in objection to the reference,
looking back around at the crowd who had already started to
resume their previous conversations. “Babe, I’m just messing with
you,” Lauren promised as Dinah, Ally and Normani came over, the
Polynesian patting her best friend on the back to get her
attention. “Well done Camila,” Ally praised animatedly, taking
Camila’s hand in her own. “Yeah, you rock Mila.” Dinah seconded.
“Who knew that we were living in an episode of Glee? All we need
is that piano guy…what’s his name?” she asked, a puzzled look on
her face as she pondered it. “Doesn’t matter,” she said, shaking
her head, unable to recall it. “Seriously though, first it was Lauren
at prom and now you…what’s going to happen next?” she
questioned, considering something witty to say. “Is Ally going to
break out in to ‘Like a Virgin’?” Camila gave Dinah a look,
scrunching up her face. “It’d be more ironic if you did.” Camila
 said laughing. “I think it’d be funnier if Ally performed ‘I wish.” “I
wish?” Ally asked, not able to recollect the song. “Yeah, you
know…‘I wish I was a little bit taller….I wish I was a baller…’” “Oh
my God, that is perfect!” Normani laughed. “I don’t know why
you’re laughing Mani,” Ally chuckled despite being the butt of the
joke, “you’d sing that cat lady song from Youtube.” “What cat lady
song?” Normani queried. “Oh I know!” Dinah said, bopping her
head as she started to sing. “I love cats, I love every kind of cat,
Ijust wanna hug all them but I can’t…can’t hug every cat…” Dinah
started dancing and everyone except Normani laughed. “Screw
you all,” she groaned, still annoyed that she was thought of as the
spinster of the group. “I’m not going to grow old with fifty cats.”
“Not with that attitude,” Lauren mocked as Camila stepped over
to the table and placed her guitar on top of it out of the way. “I
hate each and every one of you,” Normani said, huffing in pretend
dislike. “I’m going to hang around with Sofi from now on. At least
she doesn’t abuse me like this.” “You’ll get on well with her,”
Camila said dryly. “Sofi loves cats.” Normani glared at Camila
spiritedly. “You all suck,” Normani said dismissively, lifting up one
hand and making her way back over to where Sofi was talking
energetically with Taylor. “Later losers.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/92572770572/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part1 16/18 “On that note, I’m going to put
some music back on.” Dinah commented, taking a minute to look
at the stereo a few feet away. “After all, my initials aren’t DJ for
nothing.” She joked, a wide grin on her face at her own wittiness.
“That wasn’t funny,” Lauren informed her, even though she still
laughed. “True though,” she returned shrugging before heading
over to scroll through Lauren’s iPod, probably in search of some
Destiny’s Child. “I’m going to go and intervene in her DJ session,”
Ally told them shaking her head. “I’ve listened to enough Beyoncé
to last me a lifetime. Do you have any Justin Timberlake?”
“Probably.” Lauren replied, shaking her head, thinking that she’d
heard enough Justin Timberlake to last her a lifetime as well.
“Excellent,” Ally said; joining Dinah, the two of them almost
instantly getting in to a heated debate about which song they
should play. “I am going to take this upstairs,” Lauren said to
Camila halfsighing as she pulled her guitar back round so that it
sat across her front. “Then I’ll come back down and you can help
me check the cake for booby traps. I don’t trust Dinah not to have
tampered with it after you put a balloon in hers.” Camila couldn’t
stop a crooked smile from appearing on her face at the memory.
“’Booby traps’ sounds so inappropriate in my head.” She
commented chuckling and Lauren rolled her eyes. “I’ll be right
back,” she informed Camila ignoring her previous comment.
“Don’t go anywhere,” she instructed, pointing her index finger at
the browneyed girl. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Camila said
mischievously and Lauren eyed her suspiciously before making
her way in to the house and up the stairs to her room. Lauren had
just finished putting her guitar back on the stand in her bedroom
 and was about to leave again when she heard the floor board
creak behind her and she turned around to find Camila leaning
her weight back against her bedroom door, one hand wrapped
around the handle as she rocked back on to her heels. It audibly
clicked in to place and Camila’s hand moved down to quickly twist
the key in the lock and secure them inside. “What are you do…”
Lauren started, choking on her words when Camila reached down
and unabashedly pulled off her tshirt to reveal the soft contours
of her torso and the black bra that she wore. “…ing?” she finished,
her eyes growing wide as Camila discarded it on to the floor.
“Camz?” she asked, stunned. A/N: So…here’s the thing…a lot of
you requested some smut in the final chapter which I was going to
do anyway but I did have to change my outline for it a little bit
and that ultimately made it fucking ridiculously long (and probably
boring). Therefore, I have split it in to two parts but trust me, the
second half of it will be the last one before the epilogue because
I’m sure that a) you’re sick of reading this story by now and b)
getting RSI from scrolling so much. Anyway, that being said, I just
want to thank everyone for reading and taking the time to
experience this rather therapeutic journey with me and the
characters. The next part has a lot of Lauren/Camila interaction
and dialogue so there’s that….anyway, hope its ok.
Chapter 82 part 2
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Camila asked; her voice low
and seductive, her eyes fixed meaningfully on her girlfriends as
 she slipped out of her sandals, kicking them carefully to one side
as she started in Lauren’s direction. Lauren gulped, swallowing
hard as Camila reached down and started unfastening the button
on her denim shorts, her previous clumsiness apparently no
longer an issue as her fingers worked deftly and without difficulty.
She shook her hips carefully from side to side as she teasingly
tugged down the top of the material so that it sat just below her
hip bones and Lauren felt her face flush with heat as her eyes
roamed the sight of Camila’s exposed flesh. She released a slow
breath, her hands itching to make contact with it, to feel it
beneath her fingers, her body throbbing wantonly at just the
mere thought of Camila lowering the material further, of revealing
even more than was already on display. As if reading her
girlfriend’s mind, the smaller girl pushed her shorts down until
they slipped over her thighs and easily down her lithe legs, only
coming to a stop at her ankles when there was nowhere else for
them to go. Camila stepped out of them easily, leaving them
abandoned on the carpet as she continued to walk, one painfully
slow step at a time, towards the still shellshocked girl. Lauren felt
her skin start to tingle with anticipation as the distance between
them began to grow even smaller and she felt giddy at the
prospect of Camila’s delicate touch caressing her skin. “Camz…”
Lauren objected quietly, her conviction lacking when her semi-
naked girlfriend was standing so close. “We can’t do this right
now…” she halfheartedly protested, her words escaping her lips
 as nothing more than a breathy exhalation. “Yes. We can.” She
stated with a sense of finality that Lauren felt compelled not to
argue with. Camila’s eyes were smouldering, the pupils so dilated
that they appeared black in comparison to their normal brown.
They were watching Lauren keenly, ravishing her, burning deep in
to her soul so that she couldn’t shake the feeling that she were
the one standing there naked despite being acutely aware that
she wasn’t, that it was her girlfriend who was so confidently
offering up her body for scrutiny. “No,” Lauren blew out, closing
her eyes tightly. “We can’t.” she said, desperate to remove herself
from the situation, to stop it from escalating any further, painfully
aware that there were more than thirty people gathered
downstairs in her backyard. “Don’t worry,” Camila whispered,
leaning forward so that her mouth lingered so close to Lauren’s
ear that the words tickled it pleasurably and caused the hair on
the back of her neck to stick up in response. “I’ve taken care of
everything.” “What do you mean?” Lauren questioned, opening
her eyes as Camila’s lips met the side of her neck tauntingly.
Lauren shuddered agreeably at the contact, tilting her head in the
opposite direction reflexively and baring it further. She instantly
regretted the automatic move however, when Camila took
advantage and started trailing soft, delicate kisses along the
length of it, her lips following a path to the hollow of her throat.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 2/16 “I mean, no one is coming to look
 for us,” she replied, her voice still low and raspy as she mumbled
the words against Lauren’s neck and began sliding her hands up
against her girlfriend’s sides, brushing over the fabric of her shirt
with undisguised purpose. “Our parents…” Lauren puffed out;
using every ounce of selfcontrol that she could muster not to
reach out and reciprocate, her hands twitching traitorously as
they hung suspended in the air at her sides. She balled them both
in to fists, pressing the fingers firmly in to the palms so that her
nails dug in to the skin. “…think we’ve gone to pick up Clare,”
Camila finished the thought before Lauren could, her hands
peeling off her girlfriend’s shirt and slipping it back over her
shoulders whilst her lips pressed against one of her now
uncovered collarbones. Camila’s hands, glided down Lauren’s
arms until they reached the cuffs of the shirt and she pulled down
on them, tugging them over her girlfriend’s wrists so that they
were now loose. “My car though…” she gasped as Camila’s mouth
found its way to the middle of her chest. “Ally’s taken it.” Camila
reassured her, lifting her gaze to meet Lauren’s piercing green
eyes, a searching question in her own as her hands made their
way back to the top of the taller girls’ shirt. “She has?” Lauren
questioned and Camila nodded her head, slithering her girlfriend’s
shirt lower over the back of her arms so that it were almost
completely removed. Lauren raised her arms up out of the sleeves
helpfully so that the garment was no longer constricting them and
Camila tossed it aside gratefully. “She’s going to be gone at least
thirty minutes.” Camila pressed, her hands persuading the bottom
of Lauren’s tank top up to unveil her stomach, her eyes watching
her girlfriend’s face for a reaction. “Right, ok…” Lauren said
quietly, the words almost lost as she swallowed thickly in an
attempt to moisten her now dry mouth which she was slowly
edging closer to Camila’s. She was bursting with impatience now,
every nerve in her body crying out for Camila’s touch but her
reason still trying to win out over her lust. “So…” she began
tentatively, her eyes falling to Camila’s stomach and then even
lower as they roamed the length of her legs. “I can finally have my
birthday present now?” Camila smirked then, one corner of her
mouth curving up mischievously. “Part of it,” she returned, pulling
off Lauren’s tank top and flinging it in the same direction she’d
thrown her shirt. Camila admired Lauren’s body, biting down on
her bottom lip as she studied every curve, every inch of unspoiled
perfection. She stared at Lauren brazenly and without shame,
exuding a confidence and selfassuredness that did not fail to turn
the greeneyed girl on and make her heart beat faster in her chest.
Lauren had always been drawn to Camila, always thought her
beautiful and striking but there was nothing more attractive to
her then when she was assertive. Lauren loved it when Camila
took charge because it wasn’t about dominance, it wasn’t about
power; it was about Camila feeling comfortable with her, about
her trusting her completely, about her being secure enough to
reveal every part of herself in her presence without any need of
 encouragement or reassurance. When Camila took control, when
it was her that made the first move, Lauren couldn’t help but find
it sexy because it meant that Camila didn’t doubt herself, didn’t
worry about what she thought of her or care about hiding her
scars the way that she had the first time they’d been close. Seeing
Camila transition from the girl who had cried the first time Lauren
had discovered her scars to the one now was sexy. Everything
about her was stimulating and the fact that Camila wanted her,
that she chose to share this part of herself with her and only her,
well, there was no greater feeling than knowing that. Lauren
attempted to connect her lips with Camila’s, to finally be able to
sample the taste of them but the smaller girl evaded her, sinking
down on to her knees, her hands groping at her buttocks, making
her startle in alarm. Camila moved her hands slowly round to the
button on the front of Lauren’s shorts, her fingertips grazing the
flesh covering her pelvis and making her centre contract in
response. She undid the clasp with
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 3/16 ease and she looked up at Lauren
who was watching her, breathing heavily in an attempt to remain
composed, but struggling immensely. Camila permitted her digits
to explore Lauren’s stomach again, one hand working up each
side of her navel unhurriedly. When she’d reached the bottom of
Lauren’s ribs, Camila held on to her girlfriend’s side resolutely and
pulled her forward gently so that her lips could connect with her
 abs, just below her belly button. The muscles grew taut beneath
the contact and Camila pushed against them more firmly with her
lips as Lauren’s hand came down to rest on the back of her head.
Lauren already felt agitated beyond belief, but she steeled herself,
closing her eyes as Camila deposited a number of wet kisses in a
line down towards the top of her underwear, her tongue working
against the muscles of her abdomen in perfect timing with her
lips. As she moved lower, Camila gently began to slide Lauren’s
shorts down with her and when they finally reached her ankles
Camila’s mouth was busy teasing the front of Lauren’s tight fitting
underwear. It was at this point that the greeneyed girl could resist
no longer and she stepped out of her clothing quickly, bending
down over Camila and using her hand to lift up her girlfriend’s
chin so that she could take her mouth in her own. Camila stood up
then, pushing Lauren on to her heels as she deepened the kiss,
her hands quickly wandering the taller girl’s back and making her
spine arch as it sought out the fastening of her bra. Lauren
reached up one hand, her mouth still tangled with Camila’s, and
stopped her girlfriend’s attempt to unhook it, instead driving the
smaller girl backwards until her calves collided with the end of her
bed and she fell on to it, her own body following instantly
afterwards. Camila’s breath hitched in her throat as Lauren
withdrew from their ongoing kiss, her mouth sucking on her
girlfriend’s lower lip as she pushed herself back up in to standing
position in front of the smaller girl. She waited as Camila propped
 herself up on to her elbows and then deliberately removed her
bra in front of her, her emerald eyes fixing on the other girl’s
chocolate ones which were watching the operation attentively.
Lauren smiled as she saw Camila’s tongue trace her bottom lip
and her eyes grew wide as her girlfriend lifted up the now
removed bra at her side and dropped it on to the floor at her feet.
Lauren wasted no time in slithering out of her underwear, her
hands stripping them off and repeating the same process again;
the thin fabric garment falling to the floor gracefully. “You’re
stunning,” Camila said without thought, the words escaping her
lips before she’d even had time to conceive them. Lauren grinned
from ear to ear at the compliment and climbed back on top of her
girlfriend, one leg pressed in between her girlfriend’s knees as she
straddled one of Camila’s thighs. The smaller girl sat up a little to
meet Lauren halfway as they brought their lips back together and
she sucked determinedly on Lauren’s tongue, the sensation
drawing the greeneyed girl in to her further until she returned the
gesture. Camila’s left hand cupped the side of Lauren’s neck
whilst the back of the knuckles on her right ran along her flank
until it reached the other girl’s breast. She brushed the back of
her hand across Lauren’s nipple lightly before her thumb began to
work over the sensitive area until it hardened. Camila heard
Lauren moan in to her mouth and she couldn’t help but smile, the
vibration of the sound making the space between her own legs
dampen. There was very little that Camila enjoyed more than
making Lauren happy and feeling her girlfriend’s guttural whimper
evoked in her a sensation so strong that it made her legs tremble
and her stomach quiver with butterflies. “Here, sit up,” Lauren
commanded Camila, separating their lips hurriedly as she leant
back to allow her girlfriend the space to complete the request.
Camila did as bid and sat up, one hand still resting against the side
of Lauren’s neck, whilst the other slipped down her side to her
hip. Lauren fiddled with the clasp of Camila’s bra and plucked it
from her body, the smaller girl pulling her arms out of it at her
girlfriend’s silent instruction. “Ok,” Lauren purred, pressing her
body weight in to Camila as she flicked her black undergarment
behind her. She started to nibble on Camila’s neck, her teeth
scratching at the skin lightly as she palmed her girlfriend’s breasts,
massaging them. She started to move down towards Camila’s
chest, using her tongue to draw a line from the hollow of her neck
to the scar on Camila’s sternum. She guided her hands down
Camila’s sides to give herself more space. The newly healed tissue
which parted the centre of Camila’s rib cage was numb in
comparison to the rest of her chest, the nerves beneath the thick
sinewy scar still
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 4/16 regenerating, but that didn’t
seem to matter, the response that Lauren’s open mouthed kisses
elicited making her writhe in pleasure. Lauren continued to move
lower, her mouth continuing meticulously with its task as it came
to the top of her girlfriend’s underwear and stopped. She dropped
her hands lower and played tantalisingly with the hem of Camila’s
knickers, glancing up at Camila whose hands were gripping on to
the duvet at her sides tightly, her eyes closed in her enjoyment.
Lauren smiled to herself before slowly, one provocative
centimetre at a time, she pulled the clothing off. She felt Camila’s
whole body shake as she immediately brought her mouth down to
meet her soaked centre and she circled it with her tongue, her
girlfriend’s small hands tangling with her hair and tugging on it
lightly. “No wait,” Camila exhaled in protest, her breathing
laboured and her chest rising and falling quickly in the throes of
their intimacy. “What?” Lauren puffed out, looking distressed.
“Are you ok?” she asked worriedly, always suspecting the worst.
“Yeah,” Camila wheezed, sitting up and pulling Lauren down on to
the bed so that she was lying on her back. Lauren barely knew
what was happening before she felt Camila’s naked chest against
hers, the smaller girl lowering herself on top of her girlfriend. “It’s
just…it’s your birthday…not mine,” she whispered in to Lauren’s
ear enticingly as she brushed her hair back across her shoulder
out of the way. She kissed the now visible crook of Lauren’s neck,
her hand stroking the top of her girlfriend’s shoulder as she
fervently sucked on the erogenous spot, her tongue lubricating it
so that her mouth glided across the skin more easily. “Jesus,”
Lauren grunted quietly, her toes curling up instinctively as her
pelvic muscles contracted in expectation. She could feel her
 girlfriend’s breasts pressed against her own and the dampness of
Camila’s core against her skin made her own wetness grow
exponentially it was so arousing. “Camz,” Lauren begged as the
browneyed girl played with the hair on the back of her neck,
twirling it around her fingers, her digits grazing the skin beneath it
and causing a shiver to shoot down Lauren’s spine. “Shh,” Camila
urged her, kissing the top of Lauren’s left shoulder and
progressing up to the side of her neck, her free hand wandering
down to the moist folds between her legs. She rubbed her fingers
against them and Lauren’s breathing got heavier, her face turning
in to the coverlet of her bed to muffle the curse that came out of
her mouth as a result of Camila’s hand teasing the spot. Camila
released her hold on Lauren’s hair and began to fondle one of
Lauren’s breasts, manipulating it between her fingers expertly,
managing to instinctively find every sensitive point as though they
were her own. Camila spread Lauren’s legs wider and probed at
the entrance to the most intimate part of her body with her
fingers, the slickness there making it easy to excite as they circled
around her entrance. “Fuck,” she heard Lauren mumble in to the
bed spread, her voice lost in the fabric which she’d pulled up to
cover her mouth and stifle her cries. Lauren lifted her hips,
creating more space between her and the bed which Camila used
in order to investigate her girlfriend deeper, her fingers
disappearing inside her, her mouth now lower and sweeping
across her abs, her tongue drawing unintelligible shapes on the
 available canvas. Camila moved her fingers back and forth
torturously slowly, taking her time to wind Lauren up, her
girlfriend’s hips joining in with the movement in order to progress
more quickly to the inevitable release that would soon follow. She
could hear Lauren’s rattled breaths, see the way her body
vibrated with gratification. Her fingers continued to invade
Lauren’s centre, their persistence escalating her girlfriend higher
and higher into the throes of pleasure. She could feel Lauren
contract around her fingers further at the stimulation and she
curled them up inside her in search of the right spot, certain that
she’d found it when the greeneyed girls whole body contorted on
the bed.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 5/16 “Fucking hell,” Lauren cried out
in to the duvet, pursing her lips and exhaling slowly, trying to
catch her breath. She felt winded and her head was spinning
ferociously, making her giddy. “Shh,” Camila warned, the hand
that had been massaging Lauren’s breast finding her hip and then
descending down to the of her thigh. Camila worked the fingers of
her free hand over the skin, the small circles that she delicately
drew there making her girlfriend spiral even more towards
complete ecstasy. “Please,” Lauren pleaded as Camila finally
quickened her pace, her otherwise occupied fingers sliding in and
out of the space between the greeneyed girls legs more swiftly
until her whole body began to convulse and her hips bucked.
Camila moved her mouth up to engage with Lauren’s, her tongue
gliding in to the space as she waited for her girlfriend to ride out
the frenzy until her legs stopped shuddering. Lauren gasped for
breath, her chest constricted so tightly that it was making it
difficult to inhale even the smallest amount of oxygen. Camila’s
own breath was laboured too whilst she lay there, the arousal
that she felt at pleasuring her girlfriend making her core contract
and tremble enjoyably until all the tension had been relieved.
They were both covered in sweat and Lauren’s smooth skin
glistened in the light of the room as Camila watched her, the
reverberations of her climax lingering on her every nerve.
Lauren’s heart was pounding loudly in her chest and she placed a
hand over it, feeling the beat as it vibrated against her palm.
Camila removed her hand from where it had been busily at work
and started trailing a number of delicate kisses along Lauren’s
spine until she reached the crook of her neck again. She settled it
there, just below Lauren’s ear, her mouth unrelenting in its
assault on her skin. One of Camila’s hands stroked the top of
Lauren’s shoulder and the other one found its way to Lauren’s
temple where it carefully brushed the hair back out of her face.
“What…” Lauren managed to pant, still slightly disorientated by
everything that had just happened, her mind groggy as it
continued to experience the aftershocks of the chemicals which
were flooding through her system. “I mean…” she gasped.
“Damn…” Camila swept her fingertips over Lauren’s brow,
studying her momentarily before she brought her mouth down to
seal her girlfriend’s lips in a kiss. Lauren wriggled beneath Camila
to get more comfortable, the smaller girl’s tongue finding its way
back in to her mouth where it tousled sensually with Lauren’s
again, the movement slow and deliberate as she sunk in to her
girlfriend further. They stayed like that for a while, neither of
them saying anything until Camila eventually broke the silence.
“Lauren,” Camila said against her girlfriend’s lips, her voice still
sounding somewhat winded. “Yeah,” Lauren rasped. She met
Camila’s gaze and found that her girlfriend’s dark eyes were fixed
firmly on hers, concerned with nothing else but the emerald orbs
in front of her. “It’s actually over now, isn’t it?” Camila said
meaningfully, stroking Lauren’s cheek, the realisation that the
greeneyed girl had made weeks ago finally dawning on her.
Lauren offered her girlfriend a warm, affectionate smile in
response. “Yes,” Lauren replied simply, the word feeling lofty and
easy as it left her lips. “I’m glad,” the smaller girl said, the corner
of her own mouth lifting reflexively. “Me too,” Lauren returned,
reaching up to caress the scar over Camila’s eyebrow. Camila
placed her lips delicately on Lauren’s, pressing them there gently
until the greeneyed girl deepened the kiss once more, her arms
wrapping around her girlfriend’s body as she pulled her close,
their tongues dancing effortlessly together; like they were always
destined to be paired with one another. “It’s actually over now,
isn’t it?” Lauren repeated in her head as Camila relinquished her
 mouth and shifted her position on the bed, nuzzling against the
taller girl, her head burying itself in to Lauren’s shoulder whilst
the index finger of one hand sketched small shapes in the sweat
on her chest.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 6/16 It was over. Lauren knew it
without even a shadow of a doubt. The last twelve months of
heartache were behind them. The raging sea they’d struggled
through was now nothing but a fading memory. With the trial
over they’d taken that final step on to solid ground and the earth
was so unyielding that Lauren struggled to remember what it had
felt like to be anything less than that. She twirled a strand of
Camila’s long locks around her finger and kissed her softly on the
top of the head, causing the smaller girl to lift her eyes up in her
direction. ‘Yes, it was definitely over,’ Lauren thought to herself as
she looked down at the girl cuddled close to her and met her
gaze, a satisfied smile on her lips. It was over and they’d reached
the idyllic paradise that they’d been searching for. They’d finally
found it and it had lived up to every expectation Lauren had had.
Everything here was perfect. In their own personal Garden of
Eden the sun really did shine brighter, the birds did sing with
more enthusiasm, the flowers did smell sweeter. The land that lay
before them now was beautiful. It was inviting. It was somewhere
that Lauren wanted to settle down roots and never leave. She
wanted to flourish here, wanted to immerse herself in this nirvana
 and remain lost in its magnificence until the day that she died.
Lauren would quite happily stay in this place with Camila forever
because she was what made it so perfect. She was the reason for
its beauty, for its splendour and appeal. It would be nowhere near
as striking without her. “I love you,” Lauren said, expressing the
most prominent thought in her mind at that moment. “I love you
too,” Camila sighed contentedly, her fingers still brushing lightly
over the centre of the taller girl’s chest as she spoke, the relaxed
look on her face making Lauren’s heart flutter, “Happy Birthday
Lauren.” “Thank you for the present,” Lauren joked lightly, feeling
the heaviness that had settled over the moment and wanting to
alleviate it. “Shouldn’t you be thanking Dinah for it?” Camila
returned flippantly and Lauren made a face at the remark. “Dinah
might have given you to me…so to speak,” she said quickly in
response to the expression that had appeared on Camila’s face at
the insinuation, “but that was all you.” She finished amused.
“That’s not even the half of what I’ve gotten for you.” Camila
informed her, glancing over at the radio alarm clock on Lauren’s
nightstand and groaning. “Time to get up?” Lauren asked
perceptively and Camila nodded her head frustrated. “Ally and
Clare will be back soon,” Camila complained. “We need to get
ready to meet them outside.” “You know I wondered where Clare
was,” Lauren commented chuckling. “I thought it was strange that
she hadn’t arrived yet.” “Do you know how much she complained
when I told her that she had to come late to the barbecue?”
 Camila said, smiling at the memory. “She made me promise to
make sure there was still some food left when she arrived.” “It’s
only been an hour and a half since it started,” Lauren noted. “My
dad only put the barbecue on, what?” she paused, looking at the
time, “half an hour ago? Besides my parents bought so much food
we could probably feed the whole street. She won’t miss out.”
“That’s what Itold her.” “I don’t know how to feel about the fact
that you coerced two of our friends in to helping to create an alibi
for us so that we could have sex,” Lauren laughed. “You really are
a weird little genius.” “I know,” Camila smiled remembering the
conversation they’d had at the mall. “By the way, did you ever
decide whether you wanted to be my sidekick or not?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 7/16 “If that is one of the perks of
being your sidekick then you can count me in,” Lauren answered
her. “You do realise I’m never going to hear the end of this from
Ally though, right?” “That was part of the reason she agreed to do
it,” Camila laughed. “Oh God,” she grumbled. “She’s going to
make my life hell isn’t she?” “Probably,” Camila acknowledged.
“How did you manage to get Clare involved in all this?” Lauren
wondered. “I can’t imagine she’d have been so easily persuaded.”
“I had to promise to be her wingwoman,” Camila answered. “I
don’t really understand why but she seems to think I’d come in
handy when she’s trying to pick up girls.” “Yeah well,” Lauren said,
shaking her head in amusement, the smile playing on her lips
 making her cheeks ache. “She’s smart. You’re smooth as fuck.
Your words could make a hundred girls fall in love with her.” “The
only person that I want my words to make fall in love is you.”
Camila admitted honestly. “See…” Lauren started, her index finger
running the length of Camila’s jawline. “Smooth. As. Fuck.” Camila
kissed Lauren again before climbing up and off the bed. “We
really need to get ready,” she prompted and Lauren watched
approvingly as her girlfriend walked around the room naked,
retrieving her abandoned pieces of clothing from their various
resting places. “You first,” Lauren encouraged, still ogling Camila
from the bed. “I’ll just…watch.” Camila gave Lauren a
disapproving look but didn’t say anything, instead getting dressed
whilst Lauren observed her. Once Camila was back in her clothes,
Lauren reluctantly stood up and followed suit, pulling on first her
knickers and then her shorts until she too was fully garbed. They
took some time to check their appearance in the mirror and made
themselves adequately presentable before Camila took hold of
Lauren’s hand and led her towards the bedroom door, opening it
carefully and checking outside for any sign of life. Satisfied that no
one was around, they stepped on to the landing, the floorboard
creaking beneath Camila’s heavy footedness and making them
both stop in their tracks. They paused, waiting for someone to
appear but continued down the stairs when no one materialised
at the disturbance. Once they’d reached the hallway, the two of
them took a minute to glance around the immediate vicinity, each
 looking one way to check whether anyone was around. Deciding
that the coast was clear they hurriedly made their way to the
front door and disappeared outside it in to the garden. Camila
closed the door behind them quietly and took hold of Lauren’s
hand again, Lauren guiding her down the path in order to wait by
the curb for Ally and Clare to arrive. It was roughly five minutes
later when the other two girls appeared and Lauren rolled her
eyes at the look of enjoyment on Ally’s face as she got out of the
car. “Hi,” Ally said shrewdly, tossing Lauren her car keys as she
made her way over to her. “Have fun?” “Have Itold you that I hate
you yet today?” Lauren griped. “No,” the smaller girl returned,
smiling brightly. “You’re welcome by the way.” She said quirking
one eyebrow suggestively. “Hi Clare,” Lauren greeted, turning her
attention to the other girl, trying to ignore what was more than
likely only the start Ally’s abuse. “Hey,” Clare reciprocated.
“Happy Birthday.” She said, holding out a card which Lauren took.
“Thanks,” she said, dropping the hand that held it down to her
side once it was securely in her grasp. “I didn’t get you a present,”
Clare told her openly. “I figured that my involvement in this,” she
said, waving her hand in front of Camila and Lauren, “should be
more than enough.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 8/16 Lauren considered Clare’s words
for a moment before jutting out her lips and raising one eyebrow
in agreement. “That’s fair,” she decided. “Wait, if I’d known that
 then I wouldn’t have bought you that bracelet,” Ally whined and
Lauren smiled. “Sucks for you,” she laughed, turning round and
moving back in the direction of the front door, Camila’s hand still
entwined with hers. “So,” Clare said, walking alongside Camila.
“What the hell took you so long? I didn’t think I’d be waiting half
the day before I got a call from Ally saying she was on her way.” “I
had to wait for an opportunity to present itself,” Camila answered
apologetically. “You couldn’t have created one yourself?” she
questioned. “Oh,” Camila replied considering the question, “yeah,
I probably could have done. I just…I guess I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s
ok,” Clare forgave her easily. “You can just make it up to me when
we hit the town together?” “The town?” Camila asked, laughing.
“Yeah, you know…you promised to be my wingwoman.” “I know,
but…the town?” Camila repeated. “The town. Jimmy’s and such
like. You know what I mean.” She said, waving her hand
dismissively in front of her. “Contact my secretary and we’ll set a
date,” Camila responded. “That’s me in case you were
wondering,” Lauren said as she opened the front door and guided
them all inside and through the house. They made their way to
the backyard and both Dinah and Normani looked over when they
noticed the group arrive. “Clare!” Dinah practically yelled from
across the patio as she and Normani hastily made their way over.
“It’s about time that someone equally as entertaining as me got
here.” “You’re not entertaining,” Camila said and Dinah frowned
at her. “Rude.” She retorted moodily before turning back to the
 newly arrived girl. “What took you so long to get here?” “Yeah,”
Normani supported with interest. “Car trouble,” Clare answered
using the prearranged lie. “My car wouldn’t start and my parents
are out. I had to get these guys to come and rescue me.” Dinah
studied her for a moment, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Wait
a minute,” she said, looking between Lauren and Camila, making
the greeneyed girl think that the carefully planned ruse had been
discovered. “Why didn’t you guys tell me you were going?” she
asked. “I would have come too.” “You were too busy making
everyone’s ears bleed whilst you sang along to Beyoncé and
Normani was deep in conversation with Sofi about princesses.”
Ally replied. “Besides, Lauren’s car only has enough room for five
people so you couldn’t both come.” Camila continued. “Yeah, we
thought it fairer if you both stayed here.” Lauren explained as
Clara and Sinu approached the group. “Hi Clare,” Sinu greeted
warmly. “It’s nice to see you again. Camila said that you were
having problems with your car?” she asked concerned. “Yeah, the
damn thing wouldn’t start,” Clare shared, her voice inflecting just
the right amount of annoyance. “It was lucky that these guys
agreed to come and pick me up otherwise I would have been
stranded.” “Yes, I guess it was,” Clara said, turning her attention
to her daughter. “In future though I’d prefer it if you personally let
me know that you were leaving your own birthday
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 9/16 party. No offense to you two.”
 She directed in Ally and Camila’s direction, the two girls having
explained the situation to the two older women before they’d
both ‘left’. “Sorry,” Lauren apologised, “I just…I figured that the
quicker I got the car started and we left the sooner that we’d be
back.” She lied, Camila having filled her in on the particulars of
their story before they’d come back downstairs. “Well, in all
fairness Camila did offer to go and get you but I said no,” Clara
recognised. “So I can’t really complain too much. I’m glad that you
were eventually able to make it,” Lauren’s mom said to Clare
genuinely, squeezing Lauren’s shoulders in her grasp. “I know that
Lauren really wanted all her friends here with her to celebrate
today. It would have been a shame if you’d had to miss it.”
“Excuse me a minute,” Dinah interrupted the adults, “but can we
please talk about the fact that they all abandoned me here with
Normani?” she asked, still bitter about being left behind. “I mean,
I can understand you leaving her here but me? Really?” “Dinah,
we told you why we left you here,” Lauren said exasperated.
“Yeah it’s because you’re annoying,” Camila picked up, releasing
Lauren’s hand and making a move back towards the patio table
where they’d all been gathered earlier. Dinah turned and walked
with her, the rest of the group watching as they both took it in
turns to shove each other spiritedly from side to side. “I’ll go
watch the children,” Ally offered. “I’ll give you a hand.” Normani
posed, joining the smaller girl as she they followed after the best
friends, who were fighting playfully. “You should go and
 chaperone as well,” Sinu told Lauren and Clare, watching her
daughter as she flicked water from a glass on the table in Dinah’s
face, “the more people that are keeping an eye on those two, the
better.” “Did you still want to talk to me?” Lauren asked her mom
and Clara shook her head. “No, Ijust wanted to check that
everything was ok.” She replied caringly. “I really am sorry that I
left without telling you,” Lauren apologised, feeling guilty for lying
to her mom once again but making a resolute promise to herself
right then and there that this absolutely would be the last time
she did it. “I won’t do it again, I promise.” “It’s ok,” she said,
placing a hand on the side of her daughter’s neck. “I’m not mad.”
“Are you sure?” Lauren asked. “Yes,” Clara reassured her. “Now
go and have a good time with your friends.” She urged. “The food
will be ready soon.” Lauren did as she was bid and the rest of the
day was spent enjoying the company of her friends and family as
they basked in the June weather, easy conversation and the
audible sound of people enjoying themselves filling the air all
around. When the time to cut her cake arrived, Lauren was
thankful to find that it hadn’t been interfered with but that didn’t
stop Dinah from smashing it in to her face at the first opportunity
that had presented itself to her. Eventually the day had
progressed further towards evening and people had slowly
started to leave, returning to their own homes for the night.
“Well, that’s everyone,” Lauren said, a hint of relief in her voice as
she returned to the now tidied backyard having said goodbye to
 the last guests who just so happened to be Ally, Normani, Dinah
and Clare, at the front door. She found Camila alone; lazing on a
sun lounger watching the stars above her and the sight of her
stretched out on the bed reminded Lauren of when she and Dinah
had first hung out with them at Ally’s for their annual start of year
barbecue back in September. Camila had been asleep then,
exhausted and practically rendered mute from her first day back
at school after the accident. She sat wide awake now though, her
eyes leaving the constellations and turning in Lauren’s direction,
searching out her girlfriend in the relative darkness as she made
her way over to her. “What time is it?” Camila asked, shifting over
to allow Lauren to sit beside her, the taller girl stretching out her
legs as she glanced at her watch.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 10/16 “You don’t have to be home for
another hour,” Lauren answered the unasked question, as Camila
turned her body in to her chest and wrapped her small arms
around her waist. “Really?” she asked, resting her head on
Lauren’s shoulder as her girlfriend wrapped her arms around hers.
“It seems like ages ago that my parents took Sofi and Jasper
home.” “It was,” Lauren confirmed. “They left around eight.”
Camila twisted over, releasing Lauren momentarily to retrieve an
envelope which had been sitting beside the lounger on the grass.
“Here, I forgot to give this to you earlier,” she said, handing it to
Lauren who removed her arms from around Camila’s shoulders
and took it from her grasp with a smile on her face. “Thanks,” she
said, opening it to find a handmade card inside. Lauren held it up
in front of Camila grinning from ear to ear. “Is this a thing now?”
she asked her, having noted the untidy writing on the front which
read ‘Happy Birthday’ and the numerous balloons Camila had
drawn all over the front in differing colours. “It might be,” Camila
replied shrugging, not committing one way or another. “I haven’t
decided yet.” “Well, for the record,” Lauren said, flicking it open
to read what was inside beneath the glow of the lights that were
scattered along the walls enclosing the backyard. “I hope it is.”
Camila leant in to Lauren’s side, her head settling on her shoulder
once more as her girlfriend read the message inside. Inside of the
card, were written two words ‘Read this’ with an arrow pointing
to a folded up page of notebook paper which had been slipped
inside. Lauren unfolded them and scanned the pages, her
girlfriend’s writing more legible than it had ever been but still
messy and disorganised. “Dear Lauren, Happy birthday. I think for
once I might actually have writer’s block, not because I don’t
know what I want to say but because there’s so much that I want
to share with you that I really mean it this time when I say that I
don’t know where to start. I guess I could start by saying ‘Thank
you’ but if I start there then I’ll have to include all the reasons that
I am so grateful for you and that list is, quite frankly, endless. I
could probably begin with ‘I love you’ but again, the original list of
reasons that I started writing after we began dating has grown
even more since then and is continuing to grow every single day.
Perhaps I could start by sharing my hopes for our future, but the
possibilities that extend before us now are infinite and I don’t
want to limit us when we could do anything that we want. We’ve
been through so much Lauren that starting at the beginning
would take too long to document but, starting from this moment
now doesn’t seem to do our journey any justice at all. So, seeing
as I don’t know where to start, I thought I’d just tell you a story
instead: It’s about a girl that I know, an incredible girl with the
kindest heart and the most loving disposition. A girl who knew
when to let the thing she loved go. That was selfless and strong
enough to do the best thing for something that she would
probably have chosen to hold on to with both hands and keep
close to her forever if she’d had the chance. That girl, she
sacrificed her happiness for that of another and there are very
few people in this world that would willingly make the choice to
break their own heart for the preservation of someone else’s
sanity. This girl; she told me a story once. It was a really good
story about when she was younger and had been to what some
people think of as the most magical place on earth, a place where
children believe that fairy tales aren’t just stories and happy
endings aren’t just wishful thinking. She told me how she’d fallen
in love with this place, how the feelings she’d experienced there
had taught her to be grateful for everything that she has, to
appreciate the beauty in the world, to escape the confines of
 responsibility and enjoy the simplest pleasures that life had to
offer. She’d told me that while she was there she’d just let herself
experience life, that she’d lived in the moment, just existing and
never really thinking about making a memory.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 11/16 She probably thinks that I don’t
remember this story but I do. I remember almost every story that
she’s ever told me but this one…this story? Well, I somehow
remember it almost word for word despite how tired I’d been
when I heard it. She said something to me once she’d finished
recounting her tale and it has stayed with me ever since that day.
“You make me appreciate the songs; you fill my heart with music
that I want to sing along with; my day with colour in an otherwise
monochrome world, my life with love.” I thought that was so
poetic. That if anyone was lucky enough to find someone that
made them feel that way that they should shackle themselves to
them and keep them close until the bond between them was so
strong that nothing could break them apart. This girl; she made
me feel like that. She still does every single day. I don’t think she’ll
ever really appreciate just how dark my life had been before she’d
appeared in it, how all the colour and beauty in the world seemed
to have been bled dry making it seem cold and harsh. She’ll never
know how the music had stopped, how it had been replaced with
the voices of demons that could not be quietened no matter how
hard I’d tried or how much she tried to help me. This girl; this
 amazing, beautiful girl that set me free to find myself again…she
deserves to be reminded of the magic that the place in her story
had held for her, to experience it again. Not in the same way that
she had before because those memories are singular and distinct
in their own way, but, in a different way this time. I know that it’s
probably clear that this girl that I’m talking about is you Lauren,
but for the sake of clarity Ithought that I should say it. I will never
be able to say ‘thank you’ or ‘I love you’ enough. I will never be
able to share all my hopes and dreams with you because they are
boundless. Maybe one day I’ll be able to start back at the
beginning and recount our story for you, but until then I thought,
as it’s your birthday and the anniversary of the day that you first
started your personal story, perhaps I could just exist with you in
that place, perhaps we can just live in the moment together and
see what memories we end up with. Seeing as you always give me
extraordinary gifts, whether that be a cuddly ball of drooling fluff
or tickets to see some of my favourite people perform songs that
now have more meaning than I’d ever found in them before I met
you, I thought I should get you one equally as remarkable. So, that
being said I’d like to ask you a question, if that’s ok? Lauren, will
you come to Disney World with my family and Dinah this
summer? I can never say ‘thank you’ or ‘Ilove you’ enough but I
want to spend the rest of my life trying and Ithought, maybe, just
maybe, this is the best place to start. Love always Camila” Lauren
looked at Camila who was watching her expectantly, waiting for
an answer to her question. “If it helps you to decide,” Camila said,
observing Lauren’s internal thought process as she considered the
offer. “Your mom says that it’s ok.” “She did?” Lauren asked, her
parent’s permission having been her biggest concern. “Yes,”
Camila assured her. “Then, yes,” Lauren answered, tilting her
head forward and kissing Camila, not once, or twice but
repeatedly on the lips, her eyes moistening at the words she’d
written and the generosity of the offer. “Yes, I would love to come
with you.” “Ok,” Camila said happily, smiling as Lauren pulled her
into a loving embrace, her arms crushing the smaller girl within
them. “Thank you.” “You’re thanking me?” Lauren asked stunned
as Camila snuggled against her and looked up at the stars in the
sky. “I’ll never stop thanking you,” Camila replied. “Camz, I don’t
want you to feel forever indebted to me though,” Lauren
responded seriously.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 12/16 “I won’t,” Camila assured her.
“I’ll feel forever grateful for you and there’s a massive difference
between those two things.” Lauren smiled and leant down to kiss
the scar above Camila’s left eyebrow whilst her girlfriend
entwined their hands together. She played with the ring she’d
bought Lauren her eyes still studying the glistening balls of energy
as they sparkled brightly up above. “Today has been perfect,”
Lauren mused out loud, thinking back on every that had
happened. “If I didn’t know better I’d think it was all a dream.”
 “It’s not,” Camila said and the words were so loaded that Lauren
was almost crushed beneath the weight of them. “It’s not?” she
asked, tears springing to her eyes she felt so overwhelmed
hearing the words from her girlfriend’s lips. “No, it’s not,” Camila
repeated, still manipulating the ring on Lauren’s hand and
remembering the words the words engraved inside it, ‘A smooth
sea never made a skilled sailor.” She stopped with her
preoccupation momentarily to meet Lauren’s gaze. “You know I
had a nightmare earlier this morning,” she confessed. “I dreamt
that I woke up in the hospital and when I did you weren’t
there…my mom, she didn’t know you when I asked and I
remember the way that my stomach had dropped out from
underneath me.” “Camz, I’m sorry.” Lauren said, supportively, her
hand stroking her girlfriend’s brow. “I know how much you hate
feeling that everything that’s happening is all in your head.”
“Don’t be,” Camila responded. “I’m not sorry because I’ve finally
realised something. Since rehab I haven’t really had many
nightmares about the accident.” She shared. “I don’t see the car
coming towards me anymore. The only ones that I’ve had since
then are the ones about you but, I always wake up to find myself
in my bedroom where the walls are covered in pictures of the two
of us. I thought when I recovered that I’d ‘wake up’ but…I’m
better now and all the times that I have woken up in the hospital
have only been fleeting.” She told her. “It’s here that I always find
myself staying so, I know now that this isn’t the dream. This is the
 reality.” “So you don’t think I’m a figment of your imagination
anymore?” Lauren questioned. “No,” Camila replied smiling to
herself. “I’m not creative enough to imagine someone like you
into existence. Only God has the ability to conceive the perfect
angel and bring them to life.” Lauren shook her head, smiling like
an idiot, unable to suppress the way her cheeks heated bashfully
at the compliment. “You know I love your words Camz,” Lauren
said, her face still feeling flushed, “but sometimes, they make me
feel inadequate because I have no idea how to respond to them.”
“Then don’t,” Camila told her. “Just…hug me close and kiss me
instead.” She requested. “Words are overrated anyway.” “Yours
aren’t,” Lauren responded, obeying Camila’s demand and holding
her tighter, planting a soft delicate kiss on her lips. Lauren
continued to hold Camila like that, the smaller girl’s head resting
on her shoulder as she returned her attention to the sky, her hand
distractedly swivelling the ring on her girlfriend’s finger round the
digit, neither of them speaking, neither of them really knowing
what else needed to be said. “You’re thinking,” Lauren noted
astutely, brushing the hair at Camila’s temple with her fingertips
when ten minutes had passed without a word being exchanged.
“Yeah, I am.” Camila confirmed, still rotating the ring on Lauren’s
finger round lazily. “What about? The stars,” Lauren questioned,
following her girlfriend’s gaze. “Yeah,” Camila said, “Did you ever
wish upon one when you were growing up?” she asked
interestedly. “Actually I did,” Lauren admitted, lifting her eyes to
 the sky.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 13/16 “What did you wish for?”
Camila asked, turning her head in order to look up at her
girlfriend. “I wished that I was rich.” She confessed. “I wanted to
live in a mansion with a swimming pool and an indoor slide.” She
told her laughing lightly. “I wanted more toys than I had time to
play with and a bed which took up my whole room it was so big. I
wanted to be able to buy whatever I wanted.” “What would you
wish for now?” the browneyed girl probed. “Would you still wish
to be rich?” “Now? No, now I don’t need to wish that I was rich
because now I understand that money can’t buy you everything.
That probably sounds cliché but it’s true,” she recognised.
“Besides, when I really think about it I guess my wish really did
come true to some extent because I’m wealthy in more ways than
I can count on one hand. I have a roof over my head and a family
that loves me. I have an amazing group of friends and a girlfriend
that I adore. I have my health. I’m happy. I have plenty of and
clean drinking water…what more could I ask for really?” “So you
don’t want to live in a mansion with a swimming pool and an
indoor slide anymore?” “No,” Lauren replied. “Now I just want to
live in a house that I made in to a home with the person that I
love. It doesn’t matter how big it is or how much it cost. The only
thing it has to have is walls which are littered with pictures of the
people that I care about the most.” She paused for a moment, her
 eyes falling to Camila who had returned her attention to the
cosmos. “What about you? Did you ever wish on a star?” “I’ve
made a lot of wishes in my life but I just…I never made one on a
star.” She shared. “I always thought that they were only for
important things. I thought that perhaps you only ever got one
that ever came true and I didn’t want to waste it. I thought that I
should save it just in case…” “So ok,” Lauren began, shifting her
position on the sun lounger to get a look at her girlfriend. “If you
could make a wish right now, at this very moment and know that
it wasn’t your only one,” Lauren said. “What would it be?” “If I
could wish on a star, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that it
would come true then there’s only one thing that I would wish for
right now.” Camila said tentatively. “What?” Lauren asked her
curiously. “I’d wish to spend the rest of eternity with you.” She
said. “I want our happily ever after Lauren, just like we talked
about.” “You don’t want to play the field a little bit first?” Lauren
joked, causing Camila to laugh. “An eternity is a long time you
know? You should probably explore your other options before
you commit to something as longterm as that?” “No thanks,”
Camila responded. “Why waste my time?” “Well, if that’s what
you really want then maybe you should find a star and put it out
there,” Lauren suggested. “What have you got to lose, huh?”
Camila’s forehead creased as her eyes roamed the millions of tiny
specks cluttering the heavens, stopping when they found a small
unassuming one far off in to the distance. There was nothing
 special about the star, it didn’t shine brighter than any other,
wasn’t the biggest one visible that night but that’s what Camila
liked about it. It was humble and selfeffacing, it was modest. It
didn’t crave attention, didn’t demand to be noticed. She thought
that if there was any star that had yet to grant a wish then that
was probably a good one. “Have you picked one?” Lauren asked
and Camila nodded her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder,
lifting her arm and pointing her index finger at the one she’d
selected. “That really small one right there,” Camila informed her,
“it’s tiny…can you see it?” Lauren scanned the area in the sky
around the tip of Camila’s finger and thought she saw the faint
trace of the star she was pointing to. “Ithink so,” Lauren said
uncertainly. “Why did you choose that one in particular?”
“Because maybe no one’s noticed it yet,” Camila explained; her
eyes moist. “Maybe it’s been sitting there all this time hidden
amongst the other stars just waiting for someone
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93044531337/trialsand-
tribulationschapter82part2 14/16 to see it. Maybe all it needs to
help bring it back to life and make it shine bright again is for
someone to finally treat it like all the others, to realise that even
though it’s muted and weak in comparison to them, it is still a star
and it can still has something to offer the world.” Lauren studied
Camila reading between the lines and finding the meaning in her
words which she wasn’t directly saying. She placed the hand that
Camila had been playing with on top of her girlfriend’s to stop it
 fidgeting, the significance of the move obvious to them both.
“Camz, you should make your wish now,” Lauren urged Camila,
squeezing her hand encouragingly. Camila fixed her eyes on the
star for a few seconds, capturing the image of it in her mind
before she closed her eyes and exhaled loudly to silently make her
wish. “Did you make it?” Lauren asked softly, moving a strand of
hair back out of Camila’s eyes so that she could see her face
better. “Yeah,” Camila said. “So, we’ll live happily ever after
then,” Lauren said smiling as she hugged Camila’s small frame in
to her, “starting from tomorrow…” “No, not starting tomorrow.”
Camila rejected, “starting from now.” “Now?” Lauren asked her,
smiling at the recollection of the last time Camila had said that to
her, back when everything in their relationship had first changed
from friendship to something more. “Yeah,” Camila said, burying
herself against Lauren’s chest, no longer worrying about taking
things slowly, now more willing than ever to throw herself head
first in to everything that life had to offer her. “Now.”
A/N: So….that’s the last chapter before epilogue. I know I
promised it a few days ago and I apologise because I really
wanted to finish it properly but ugh, fuck it, I don’t know, I’m
sorry if it doesn’t live up to people’s expectations. I am
notoriously rubbish at writing smut and I’ve grown so attached to
these characters that it’s kind of hard for me to be completely
happy leaving their story anywhere. I haven’t decided when I’ll
post the epilogue yet. It definitely won’t be tonight but probably
 sometimes this week once I’ve worked up the courage to do it.
Thank you to everyone who has followed this story through to the
bitter end and all the amazing videos/vines/gifsets etc which you
have made, they’re really nice to see and I want to let you know
that I do see them. When I started writing Trials and Tribulations I
never pictured the overwhelming response that it would get and
although it might have lost its steam towards the end I appreciate
you all sticking with it. It completely baffles me how anyone
would want to read it so that fact that you all do, that somehow it
has over one and a half million hits on Wattpad and has been
translated in to a whole host of other languages and converted for
other fandoms is incredible. Thank you for all your incredible
feedback, support and enthusiasm x
Epilouge
Camila sat at the desk in her study, her eyes fixed in concentration
on the computer screen in front of her, the fingers of both hands
poised over the keyboard in readiness to type but remaining
frustratingly suspended in the air with her apparent lack of
inspiration. She watched the insertion point flashing tauntingly in
the centre of the blank word document that she had open, the
black vertical line appearing and disappearing in the exact same
spot once every second; unmoving. “Ugh,” she groaned, leaning
back in the office chair she occupied and bringing her hands to
rest on the back of her head, her fingers interlacing together.
“This should not be that difficult.” She admonished herself
 thoughtfully as she gently twisted the seat she was perched on
from one side to another, propelling the movement with her feet.
She glanced around the room and sighed as her eyes roamed the
ceiling to floor shelving which covered two out of the four walls,
her eyes scanning the multitude of books that filled them which
she had collected over the years. Camila narrowed her eyes in an
attempt to try and read the titles of the volumes from where she
sat but struggled, her vision not quite what it used to be even
with the glasses which she now had to wear firmly perched on the
bridge of her nose. Realising that it was probably futile to
continue from her current position Camila leant forward and
struggled out of the chair, one hand reaching for the edge of the
desk to help her up, the other reaching to her distended stomach
protectively. “Jesus,” she huffed once she was on her feet, the
hand she’d used for stability on the desk reaching round to rub
the small of her back which was protesting profusely at the
change of position. She wandered over to the nearest bookshelf
with difficulty, her hand still perched on her abdomen which
twitched slightly beneath her fingers and was becoming more and
more cumbersome the larger that it got. “Let’s see…” she said,
the index finger of her free hand running along the spines of the
musty smelling books that were packed closely together on the
shelf in front of her. “Great Expectations, Little Women, The
Count of Montecristo, Les Miserables, Macbeth…” she listed off in
her head as she walked along the wall, her finger trailing across
the volumes behind her as she moved. When Camila reached the
end of the row she turned her attention to the shelf below, her
index finger dropping down to repeat the process again as she
walked back in the opposite direction. “To Kill a Mockingbird, The
Catcher in the Rye, 100 Years of Solitude, Catch22, Love in the
time of Cholera….” She continued, considering each of the titles
and wondering whether the authors had struggled to name their
literary works as much as she seemingly was. “Kite Runner, The
Book Thief, Water for Elephants…” she persisted; only stopping
when she came to a small dishevelled looking notebook with no
title on the spine. She frowned and used her index finger to pull it
out of its confines, tipping the top edge forward until it was easier
to remove.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 2/19 “What the hell is this?” she asked
herself quietly, turning the book over in her hands and studying
the outside cover for a clue but finding none, the exterior bearing
no writing or other sign of what was contained inside. Camila
flicked open to the first page and lifted an eyebrow in surprise
when she spied the messy handwritten script inside. “So my
therapist recommended that I write down a few things from time
to time now that I’m going back to school…I don’t know, it feels
kind of stupid, to put down on paper the things which Ithink in my
head.” “I can’t believe that she kept this,” Camila muttered aloud
as she closed the book again. “What a sentimental idiot,” she
 laughed as she walked back over to her desk with it, her mind
finding it difficult to comprehend why her wife hadn’t just thrown
the journal away when they’d relocated from the apartment
they’d shared to their new home almost three years ago. She
placed the book on top of the solid oak desk when she reached it
and lowered herself in to her chair awkwardly, her hands
controlling the descent using the arm rests, the size of her
stomach making it difficult to bend in the middle so that she had
to lean back in the seat in order to get settled. Camila studied the
book from her position once she was comfortable, her eyes
scrutinising the tattered corners of the black cover as her mind
drifted back to the time when she’d written the words contained
within it. The corner of Camila’s mouth lifted in to a smile and she
shook her head in amusement as she remembered one particular
conversation that she’d had with Lauren regarding the personal
entries inside her journal. She spun around in her chair so that she
was facing the computer screen on her desk once more, her
hands hovering over the keyboard for only an instant before they
started typing. “The incomplete ramblings of a mad person”she
typed, making a face in reaction to seeing the words in black and
white on the screen before her. “Thank God I don’t plan on
keeping that,” Camila said under her breath, rereading it back
again before purposefully adding a full stop for emphasis. Camila
knew she wasn’t going to use the title; after all, it was ridiculous.
However, the idea of not having a name for her recently finished
 book after spending the best part of the last eighteen months
writing it just didn’t sit well with her. She’d rather have something
temporary than nothing at all and that was by far the best that
she’d managed to come up with all day, ‘story’ being the absolute
worst. She was seriously debating whether or not to backspace
and delete what she’d written when her mobile phone, which was
sat on the hard surface of the desk, started vibrating loudly, the
ring tone blaring out noisily as an incoming call caused the device
to burst in to life. Camila reached over and picked it up, smiling as
she saw Lauren’s name on the caller ID. “Hey,” Camila answered
happily, rocking back in her chair having lifted the phone to her
ear. “Hey,” Lauren responded sighing heavily down the line, a
solemn edge to her voice. “What’s wrong?” Camila asked sitting
forward again instantly on hearing it. “Is everything ok?” “Listen
babe, I know it’s our anniversary but I’m not going to get back
from work in time to make our dinner reservations.” She said
remorsefully. “I’m really sorry…” “That’s ok,” Camila reassured
her before she’d even had a chance to explain, knowing that
Lauren would never stay late at work if it wasn’t because of
something important. “We’ll just…we’ll eat here when you get
back instead. I’ll order us a takeout or something…” “I’m so
sorry,” she apologised again. “I know that you were looking
forward to going out.” “Lauren it’s fine, honestly.” Camila said
leaning back in the chair again. “I’m actually kind of glad that we’ll
be staying home…” “You are?” Lauren interrupted, surprised.
 “Yeah,” Camila replied, putting a hand over her stomach as she
felt another small kick from inside it. “I don’t think that I could
actually face going out tonight. I’m feeling exhausted and this
baby has been misbehaving all day.” “Is it kicking again?” Lauren
asked happily.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 3/19 She sounded so delighted by the news
that Camila could easily picture her smile through the phone and
she couldn’t stop the corners of her own mouth from turning up
to mimic it. “It’s been kicking so much that I’ve almost convinced
myself that it’s trying to make a break for it,” Camila told her,
laughing lightly at her own attempted joke. “Why would it ever
want to escape?” Lauren asked playfully. “Personally I’d make the
most out of any opportunity to be inside you.” “Oh my God,”
Camila exclaimed down the phone, her mouth dropping open at
the insinuation. “I can’t believe that you just said that!” “What?”
Lauren asked, feigning innocence. “You know what!” Camila
scolded lightheartedly. “I hope that there aren’t any patients
around listening to this conversation.” “No,” Lauren said,
sounding regretful at the reminder of where she was. “I’m in the
office on my own at the moment. I thought I’d write up some
charts whilst I have the chance but I have to head back up to the
ward soon.” “Is this something to do with that young girl?” Camila
asked her wife interestedly. “What was her name? Stephanie?”
“Yeah,” Lauren replied, sighing again. “The doctors chose tonight
 of all nights to tell her and her aunt and uncle that the surgery
didn’t work and that she’ll never be able to walk again. They’re
going to do it after they’ve finished their surgical list for the day…
probably around six…Ijust…Ithought that I should be there when
they do.” “For her aunt and uncle or for her?” Camila asked
shrewdly, twisting in her chair once more out of habit. “Both,”
Lauren answered before adding, “mostly her though.” “Well, you
should take your time, ok?” Camila encouraged. “Don’t rush back
on my account. I’m not going anywhere and you’ve been working
with her ever since she had her accident. She trusts you Lauren
and I’m sure that she’ll appreciate you being there when she get
the news. You always know exactly what to say for the best and
she’ll need that reassurance now more than anything.” “Why are
you so amazing?” Lauren asked Camila, truly touched by her
wife’s understanding. “I’m not.” Camila answered modestly, “I
just know how much of a comfort you were to me when things
seemed at their bleakest. I don’t know where I’d be today if it
wasn’t for your support so I can’t be selfish right now, no matter
how much I might want to be. That family deserves to have that
comfort too after everything that they’ve been through…” she
trailed off midsentence, spinning around in her chair to face the
door of the study at the sound of muffled footsteps behind her.
“Mommy,” the small girl said, rubbing at her sleepy eyes, the
ragged teddy bear that Dinah had bought her for Christmas last
year hanging from one hand. “Hi baby,” Camila said, smiling
 tenderly at the sight of her daughter and beckoning her over to
her. “Are you ok?” she asked warmly, lowering her voice and
covering the phone speaker with her hand momentarily. “I’m
thirsty,” she said, stepping in to the room and toddling over to
where Camila sat. “Ok,” Camila said, bending forward in her seat
to address the youngster at eye level. “I’ll get you a drink in just a
second alright?” she assured the girl, placing a hand on her
daughter’s shoulder. The youngster nodded her head in
understanding and wiped at her eyes tiredly while Camila
affectionately ruffled her hair. “Camz?” Lauren’s voice could be
heard through the line. “Camz are you there?” Camila lifted the
phone to her ear again to respond, returning her attention to the
woman on the other end of the line. “Sorry,” Camila apologised as
her daughter wrapped her small arms around her knees and
lowered her head on to her lap. “Daniela just woke up.” She
informed her, stroking her daughter’s hair lightly with her
fingertips.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 4/19 “Is that mommy?” the girl asked
inquisitively, tilting her head and lifting her eyes up to look at
Camila hopefully. “Yeah baby, its mommy. Do you want to talk to
her?” Camila asked her daughter. The young girl nodded her head
animatedly and eagerly reached out for the phone. “Only for a
minute though alright?” Camila told her. “Mommy’s still at work.”
“Ok,” Daniela agreed, dropping her teddy bear so that she could
 securely hold the phone in both her hands. Camila struggled out
of the chair that she’d been occupying and carefully lifted her
daughter in to it in her place. “Hi mommy,” the small girl said
perkily, a large grin on her face as she spoke in to the receiver. “Hi
sweetie,” Lauren returned. “How are you?” “Sleepy,” Daniela said,
changing her position in the chair so that her legs were curled up
beneath her. “You’re sleepy?” Lauren asked softly, her voice light
and playful. “Perhaps you should go and have a nap?” “Ijust had
one,” Daniela replied yawning. “You did?” Lauren said, feigning
surprise at the information. “Yep,” Daniela confirmed. “Mommy
read me a story first.” “Well, that’s because mommy loves
stories.” Lauren told her. “Me too,” Daniela shared, slumping back
against the back of the chair and looking up at Camila who was
stood watching her, a look of adoration on her face. “Mommy
tells good stories.” “Mommy tells the best stories,” Lauren agreed
easily. “When are you coming home?” the youngster asked
expectantly. “Not for a while yet sweetie,” Lauren replied lovingly.
“I have to stay at work but I’ll be home as soon as I can, ok?”
“Ok,” Daniela responded simply, poking her tongue out of her
mouth so it sat against her top lip, a thoughtful expression on her
face. “I have to go now,” she told Lauren after a beat, glancing up
at Camila and not wanting to get in trouble for talking too long.
“Ok, be a good girl for mommy alright.” Lauren encouraged her
daughter. “I will,” Daniela promised. “Love you mommy.” “Ilove
you,” Lauren responded easily. “Bye,” Daniela mumbled in to the
 receiver before holding out the phone for Camila who took it
gratefully. “Hey,” Camila said, lifting the phone to her ear as
Daniela jumped off the chair and retrieved her teddy bear, quickly
disappearing through the study door and out of sight. “I should
probably go.” “Me too,” Lauren returned contritely. “I’ll cancel
the reservations at the restaurant.” Camila informed her helpfully
as she followed her daughter in to the kitchen and watched her
clamber up on to the seat at the counter. “Do you want me to call
Dinah?” “No you’re working. I’ll call her,” Camila answered. “She’ll
be devastated that she doesn’t get to babysit.” Lauren laughed.
“She’ll get over it.” Camila said in response. “She’s taking Daniela
to the zoo with Karla on Saturday so she’ll be more than
compensated for the lost time then.” “I really am sorry,” Lauren
apologised again. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 5/19 “Lauren, you’re about to tell an eleven-
year old girl who just lost her parents in a car accident that she’s
never going to walk again. I think I can find it in my heart to
forgive you for being late because of that. You don’t need to make
anything up to me.” “Are you sure?” Lauren asked unconvinced.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Camila guaranteed kindly, her voice betraying the
admiration that she had for her wife and the work that she did.
“I’ll try to get home as soon as I can.” Lauren vowed. “I’ll be here
waiting for you,” Camila assured her. “Alright, well…I’ll see you
soon then.” Lauren said; her reluctance to hang up the phone
 palpable. “Bye babe,” Camila returned; kneading the spot above
her left eyebrow with the fingers of her free hand as she subtly
encouraged her wife to hang up. “Ilove you.” “Ilove you too,”
Lauren said in farewell before finally disconnecting the call.
Camila allowed the dial tone to ring in her ear for a minute and
sighed before finally lowering her phone and placing it on the
kitchen counter. “So,” she said, placing the palm of one hand
firmly beside the device as she stood across the counter from her
daughter who was watching her with interest. “What do you want
to drink?” she asked the young girl. “Milk,” Daniela replied,
leaning her elbows on to the granite surface, her white teeth on
display as she grinned broadly. “Milk huh?” Camila returned; her
tone playful. “Are you sure that you’re old enough to drink that?”
she questioned, mirroring her daughter’s posture and meeting
her inquisitive green eyes, one eyebrow lifted in pretend
suspicion. “Mommy, I’m three years old,” Daniela told her giggling
musically. “Oh, you’re three are you?” Camila asked; a broad grin
lighting up her features. “I guess that means that you’re old
enough to have some cookies as well then, doesn’t it?” Daniela
nodded her head enthusiastically and Camila smiled at her,
brushing some of the girl’s soft dark hair out of her eyes. The
young girl prodded at the scar on Camila’s forehead with her
index finger in return and Camila scrunched up her nose
animatedly at the touch. “You can have one of my cookies,”
Daniela offered and Camila leant forward and planted a quick kiss
on her daughter’s forehead. “Thank you,” Camila said gratefully as
she stood up to collect the items from their respective places of
storage. Camila put a few cookies on to a plate and poured a small
glass of milk from the fridge, carrying them back over to her
daughter and placing them on the counter in front of her once she
was done. “What do you want to do for the rest of the
afternoon?” Camila asked, watching her daughter who was
reaching out for her drink. “Do you want to watch a movie?” she
questioned Daniela as the youngster took a quick sip of milk, the
liquid leaving a white residue on her top lip as she lowered it
again. “Can we play make believe instead?” she questioned.
Camila picked up one of the cookies from the plate and dipped it
in her daughter’s glass of milk which was now sitting securely on
the counter again. She took a bite and Daniela followed her
mom’s example, accidentally dropping the whole cookie inside
her drink. Camila dipped her hand in to the tumbler to quickly
retrieve it before it disintegrated completely, holding it out for
Daniela who took it swiftly and crammed it in to her mouth in two
hungry bites. “Which make believe do you want to play today?”
Camila queried, pushing the plate of cookies closer to the three-
year old so she could reach them more easily. “Unicorns and
dragons,” she replied simply. “Sweetie we played that one
yesterday,” Camila reminded her chuckling softly.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 6/19 “That’s my favourite though,” Daniela
informed her, taking a bite of another one of her cookies. “Why?”
Camila asked intrigued. “You always pretend to be a dragon and I
like dragons,” the little girl replied as she took a sip of her milk
again. “You make a good dragon mommy.” Camila smiled at the
compliment and tucked a strand of Daniela’s hair behind her ear.
“Wait…but…mommy’s at work,” the threeyear old started; her
face creasing up in thought as she considered what Lauren had
said to her on the phone. “So…maybe we should play unicorns
and dragons later,” she continued. “Mommy always pretends to
be the unicorn, but…she isn’t here now…so…we don’t have one,”
she finished, meeting her mom’s hazelnut eyes. “Why don’t you
be the unicorn?” Camila suggested lovingly. “I can’t be a unicorn
because mommy told me that I’m a dragon,” Daniela disputed
simply. “You’re not just a dragon though,” Camila said, picking up
the now empty plate and glass in her hands to carry them over to
the sink. “You’re both.” “Both?” the youngster asked looking
confused as Camila placed the items in to the basin. “Yes,” Camila
confirmed; returning to stand on the opposite side of the counter
from where her daughter sat. “You are part dragon but you’re
part unicorn too so…” she said leaning forward again, “you can be
whichever one you want to be.” “Ok,” Daniela said happily,
climbing down from her seat and running around the counter, her
outstretched hand reaching for Camila’s and tugging on it
energetically. “I’ll be the unicorn and then you can be the
dragon.” “Alright,” Camila agreed, allowing her daughter to lead
 her out the kitchen to go and play. Four hours later, when the
dragon was immensely tired from its numerous adventures and
hiding out, for what was probably the seventh time that
afternoon, in a cave constructed out of blankets in the corner of
the living room, the house phone rang noisily from the hallway.
Camila poked her head out of the make shift fort to go and
answer it, only to find that she’d been beaten by a much more
agile Daniela. “Hi mommy!” she heard Daniela exclaim from the
other side of the wall separating the living room from the hallway.
Camila crawled out of her hideaway and got to her feet with
difficulty, one hand finding its way to rest instinctively on her
stomach whilst the other used the sofa as leverage to stand up. “I
am definitely too pregnant for this kind of thing now,” she
muttered as she stretched out her limbs and slowly made her way
out of the room to join her daughter. “It’s mommy!” the young
girl shouted excitedly when she saw Camila appear. She was
bouncing up and down on the spot excitedly, the phone grasped
firmly in both her hands as she held it to her ear. “She wants to
talk to you!” Daniela cried thrusting the phone in Camila’s
direction. “She said she’s coming home now.” “Thank you,”
Camila said gratefully taking the portable handset and lifting it to
her ear. “Hey,” she said, her eyes falling to Daniela who was
looking up at her with a large grin on her face, evidently eager to
see Lauren. “Hey babe,” Lauren returned. “Don’t you answer your
mobile anymore?” “It’s in the kitchen and I didn’t hear it,” she
informed her truthfully. “Daniela and I have been playing unicorns
and dragons in the living room…” “What? Without me?” Lauren
questioned pretending to be offended. “Who was the unicorn?”
“Daniela,” Camila told her. “Daniela is normally a dragon,” Lauren
noted laughing.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 7/19 “Yeah well you weren’t here and she’s
just as much a dragon as she is a unicorn,” Camila reminded her.
“That’s how you wanted it, remember? Isn’t that the reason why
I’m the one suffering from swollen ankles and gnawing lower back
pain right now and not you?” “We both wanted it that way babe,”
Lauren said. “Besides, you know that I’d gladly switch places with
you if I could but unfortunately you don’t have a brother, yet
alone one who is amazing enough to be a donor for us.” “The only
time in my entire life that I have ever wished that I’d had a
brother instead of a sister was when I was in labour with Daniela,”
Camila laughed. “It is also the only time that I have ever hated
Chris…” “Uncle Chris?” Daniela asked, obviously picking up on his
name but not the content of the conversation. “Yeah, baby…”
Camila said; placing a hand on top of Daniela’s head gently. “I’ll
remind him of that the next time I see him,” Lauren chuckled
before continuing, “Listen babe, the reason that I actually called is
because I’m on my way home from the hospital right now so I
shouldn’t be too long,” Lauren said, changing the subject back to
the original reason she’d phoned. “Are you alright?” Camila asked
 sympathetically, sensing the solemn undertone barely hidden in
Lauren’s voice. “How did it go?” she probed, stroking her
daughter’s hair lightly. “It was horrible as you can imagine,”
Lauren answered truthfully, sighing. “She’s really upset. I think it’ll
be a while before she’s able to think about rehab again but I want
to get her practicing transfers to her wheelchair as soon as
possible. The quicker she’s getting in and out of it herself the
more independence she’ll have. I’m hoping that’ll help her start to
move forward…” she trailed off, her voice catching in her throat.
“I’m sorry,” Camila apologised sincerely, knowing just how
invested Lauren got with her patients rehabilitation. “Can I do
anything?” she asked, continuing to stroke her daughter’s hair as
she spoke. “No. Thank you though,” She informed her,
appreciating the offer. “So…are you driving right now?” she asked
nervously, recalling that the accident Lauren’s patient had been
involved in was the result of her dad talking on his mobile phone.
“Don’t worry I’m using the Bluetooth.” Lauren reassured her,
immediately understanding Camila’s concerns. “Ok good,” Camila
exhaled in relief. “Would you like me to run you a bath or
something for when you get here? It might help you to relax if
you’ve had a tough day.” “Well, that depends…” Lauren started
provocatively. “On what?” Camila asked, completely missing the
intimation. “Whether or not you’ll to be waiting in it for me,”
Lauren replied suggestively and Camila chuckled heartily. “Trust
me; you do not want to share a bath with me right now. I’d be like
 a beached whale.” “Ithink I should be the judge of that, don’t
you?” “Fine Captain Ahab, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
She joked. “Moby Dick, right?” Lauren asked perceptively. “Right,”
Camila verified, glancing down once more at Daniela who was still
watching her, clearly lost by their current conversation if the look
on her face was anything to go by. “So, roughly how long do you
think it’ll be until you get here?” “Not long at all,” Lauren
answered as a knock came at the front door. Camila smiled and
walked over to it, her free hand reaching out for the handle and
hovering suspended in the air just above. “Wait a minute, don’t
you have a key?” Camila teased playfully and she could hear
Lauren’s laugh echo through the door. “Ilost it,” she told her.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 8/19 “That’s not really my problem though is
it?” Camila dismissed impishly. “You should be more careful…”
“Oh come on, let me in.” Lauren cut her off. “I’ve had a crap day
and I’ve bought you something,” Lauren said pleadingly, the
alluring tone of her voice tempting her wife more than she’d care
to admit. “Is it something good?” she asked, biting the hook. “I
think it’s pretty good…but…I could always give it to someone else
if you’re not interested.” “Why don’t you slip it under the door
and I’ll decide whether or not it’s worth me letting you inside,”
Camila suggested. “I don’t think it’s going to fit under the door
babe,” Lauren shared seriously. “Ok, hold on for a minute while I
confer with my roommate.” Camila told Lauren before turning to
 her daughter and meeting her eyes. “What do you think Daniela?
Should we let mommy in?” she questioned conspiratorially and
Daniela beamed brightly, nodding her head in the affirmative.
Camila pressed down on the handle and opened the door wide at
her daughter’s response, her face lighting up at the sight of
Lauren standing on the step outside, a small golden retriever
puppy wrapping itself around her feet with its leash. “Look
mommy! It’s a puppy!” Daniela exclaimed, running forward to pet
the dog. “Happy sixth anniversary,” Lauren wished her wife as she
lowered the phone from her ear and slipped it in to her back
pocket. Camila stepped forward to meet Lauren and kissed her on
the lips in greeting, pulling her in to an awkward hug, her
distended abdomen hindering the embrace. “I can’t believe we’ve
been married six years,” Camila said incredulously, relaxing her
hold on Lauren as Daniela crawled around on the floor at their
feet to stroke the dog. “Yeah, well I can’t believe we’ve been
together for sixteen years,” Lauren countered. “You know…give or
take like…eighteen months.” she added, referring to their
separation during their second year of college. “I can’t believe
that you bought me another puppy,” Camila stated looking down
at the canine that was licking at her daughter’s face
enthusiastically. Lauren handed Camila the leash so that she could
crouch down to retrieve her daughter from the floor. “Did you
just go out and buy it now or…what?” the browneyed woman
asked amused. “Actually, Normani has been looking after him for
 me,” Lauren said lifting Daniela up in to the air and kissing her
affectionately on the cheek in greeting, the small girl settling on
her mom’s hip and wrapping her arms around her neck as she
snuggled in close to her contentedly. “I stopped by her apartment
on the way home to pick him up. I know how much you miss
Jasper…” “Lauren…” Camila started but Lauren interrupted before
she could even start to object. “I know that you didn’t want to get
another dog after he passed away because we’d just had Daniela
but…she’s older now and…” “Do you really think that this is a
good idea?” Camila interjected being the voice of reason. “I mean,
I love him,” she said, bending down as best as she could to scoop
the puppy up in one arm, scratching him behind the ear with the
hand that still had hold of the phone. “He’s an amazing gift but,
we’ve already got this little monster running around the house
and there’s another one on the way? Don’t you think we’ll have
our hands full as it is?” “You’re not a little monster are you
sweetheart?” Lauren asked the young girl in her arms who was
shaking her head in response to the question whilst her mom
lightly brushed the tip of her index finger against her small chubby
cheek. “You want to keep him don’t you?” “Please,” Daniela
begged, making wide imploring eyes at Camila who shook her
head at Lauren’s underhanded tactics. “That is not fair,” Camila
groaned, stepping in to the house with the dog in her hands.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 9/19 Lauren followed after her with Daniela
 still in her arms and pushed the front door closed with her foot.
“Now you know exactly what I’ve had to put up with all these
years that we’ve been together.” Camila gave Lauren a pointed
look and placed the phone back in the base on the small hall
table. “I guess that if we’re going to keep him then we should
probably give him a name,” Camila said; secretly happy to resign
herself to the will of her wife and daughter. Lauren smirked at
Camila and gave her a knowing smile. “What do you think
Daniela?” Camila asked, holding the small puppy close to the
youngster so she could stroke his head gently. “What should we
call him?” “Can we call him Buddy?” she asked and Camila met
Lauren’s gaze. “Buddy sounds like a great name,” Lauren praised
and Camila nodded her head in agreement. “Buddy it is then,”
Camila said, smiling at Lauren and leaning forward to kiss her on
the lips gratefully. “Thank you.” She acknowledged appreciatively.
“I really do love him.” “I thought that you would.” Lauren
responded, shifting her daughter’s weight in her arms to kiss
Camila again. When they separated, Lauren noticed the wide grin
on Daniela’s face, the small girl having watched the exchange
between the two adults. “What are you smiling about?” Lauren
asked her. “Nothing,” Daniela answered, still smiling brightly as
she looked between her parents. “Nothing?” Lauren said tickling
the young girl’s stomach and causing her to squirm in her arms in
an attempt to escape. Lauren lowered Daniela to the floor and
she ran off quickly, prompting Lauren to chase after her, Camila
 watching them disappear in to Daniela’s bedroom. She shook her
head, her hand still stroking the small puppies’ jowl thoughtfully.
“I have a weird feeling that you’re going to be the least of my
problems,” she told him, ambling after the pair of them. An hour
later, when Buddy had been settled in to his new home, Daniela
had been safely tucked in to bed and both Lauren and Camila had
enjoyed a glass of wine and a Chinese takeout from their favourite
restaurant, the two woman sat together on the sofa. Camila was
laying on her back, with her legs outstretched and her head in
Lauren’s lap, the sound of soft music filling the space around them
from the stereo system in the corner of the room. Lauren was
looking down at her wife, the fingertips of one hand brushing
lightly against the scar which still stood prominently on her
forehead, the habit never lessening even after all the years they’d
been together. “I’m glad that we didn’t go out tonight,” Lauren
mused, continuing to caress the imperfection. “Me too,” Camila
concurred, reaching up a hand to gently grasp Lauren’s elbow in
acknowledgement. Lauren stopped her mindless distraction and
moved her hand to settle on Camila’s enlarged stomach instead,
smiling when she felt the baby kick against the palm of her hand,
causing her to chuckle. “Maybe the baby is trying to escape after
all,” she laughed, leaning down to plant a soft kiss against
Camila’s belly as she stroked her wife’s hair. “It definitely takes
after you if it’s this impatient.” “I’m not impatient,” Camila
complained. “Please,” Lauren said, rolling her eyes. “Daniela was
 barely even a day overdue before you started trying every trick in
the book to induce labour.” “I was excited!” she admitted. “So sue
me alright? I couldn’t help myself. I’d already incubated her for
nine months. I mean, what exactly was she waiting for?”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 10/19 “I’ve no idea,” Lauren confessed. “I
couldn’t wait to finally meet you.” She said meaningfully, brushing
her fingers against Camila’s scar again. Camila reached up her left
hand and stayed her wife’s, the small semicolon tattoo which now
covered the inside of her wrist easily visible and providing a
distraction from the selfinflicted wounds of her adolescence.
Camila had chosen the design for two reasons; firstly, because she
loved literature but, more importantly, because it reminded her
that when she could have ended her life, just like an author could
have ended a sentence, she hadn’t. She’d made the decision not
to and she’d kept going, just like the author had. “You know, I
found my journal today,” Camila told Lauren at the veiled
reference to their past and Lauren lowered her fingers to trace
the outline of the dark print on her wife’s skin. “I didn’t know that
you’d kept it.” “It means too much to me to throw away,” Lauren
informed her honestly, still drawing the mark over Camila’s wrist
repeatedly with her index finger. “I still read it sometimes when
I’m feeling nostalgic.” “Nostalgic? What for the ‘good old days’”
Camila quipped, smiling. “You know what I mean Camz,” the
greeneyed woman returned, rolling her eyes. “That was the start
 of us and I think it’s good to remember where we began. It helps
remind me just how far we’ve come since then.” “Well, in future
you won’t have to resort to reading that.” Camila said
significantly. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Lauren
asked, her mouth growing in to a wide smile. “Ifinally finished it,”
Camila nodded, struggling to sit up. Lauren helped her wife back
in to a vertical position on the sofa and Camila met her green eyes
before continuing. “I wanted it to be your anniversary present,”
she told her. “I thought it would be kind of poetic, you know,
seeing as we wrote it together and everything.” “You wrote it,”
Lauren stated modestly. “I can’t take any credit for it.” “They may
be my words Lauren but a lot of what’s in there are your
memories, not mine.” Camila admitted. “I have difficulty
remembering a lot of the beginning but you remember
everything. I needed your input to fill in the blanks for me.” “You
always did want us to write it together,” Lauren recalled with a
sentimental look on her face. “Do you want to see it?” Camila
asked. She had kept the final draft hidden from Lauren until now,
not wanting her wife to see or read what she’d written fully until
it was complete and she was happy with what was contained
within it. “Of course I do,” Lauren replied as Camila stood up and
held out her hand for the greeneyed woman to hold. Lauren
acquiesced, taking Camila’s hand in her own. Her wife led her in
to the study and guided her in to the chair before leaning across
Lauren’s body and moving the mouse in order to bring the
 computer out of its sleep state and back to life again. “The
incomplete ramblings of a mad person? Really Camz?” Lauren
chuckled, reading the title on the page. “It’s a working title,”
Camila professed amused by Lauren’s reaction to it. “I don’t
suppose you can come up with a better one?” Lauren studied the
ring on her finger and remembered the words etched inside of it.
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor?” she asked tentatively,
but the look on her face as she said it was enough to convince
Camila that Lauren disliked the suggestion just as much as she did.
“Scratch that.” The greeneyed woman said, waving her hand in
front of her face and quickly scrolling through the pages in front
of her, searching for some inspiration. She stopped when one part
of the text caught her eye, it was a conversation that she’d had
with her mom that Camila had translated on to the page and she
felt tears prick the corner of her eyes at the memory of the
woman she’d lost.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 11/19 “Where are you reading?” Camila
asked, noticing her wife’s watery eyes and following her gaze.
“This bit,” Lauren said, pointing to the screen. “That’s what life is
Lauren. It’s a series of trials and tribulations. You’ll get through
one only to find that you’re faced with another. People get sick,
bad things will happen, it’s inevitable but, if you’re always waiting
for difficulties to come, if you’re always worrying…what kind of
life will you have? You’ll never enjoy the positive things; you’ll
 never appreciate them if you’re always waiting for the worst to
happen.” Camila draped an arm around Lauren’s neck consolingly
on seeing the content of the page and Lauren placed one hand on
her forearm as it came to rest against her chest. “I remember
this,” Lauren said. “I was mad at her back then because she’d
stopped me seeing you but, she was right in what she’d said.” “So
what are you thinking?” Camila asked, holding Lauren in her arms
comfortingly. “I think that our junior year of high school was filled
with ups and downs,” Lauren mused, glancing up at her wife. “So,
I think you should name your book something that represents
that.” “Something like what?” Camila questioned, reading Clara’s
words again. “Trials and Tribulations,” Lauren replied. Camila
looked at the screen for a moment and leant across Lauren to go
back to the first page, deleting her previously written title and
replacing it with the new one. She considered it for a moment, a
satisfied look on her face. “Trials and Tribulations,” she said in
admiration. “Ithink that’s the perfect title.” Camila reduced the
gap between the title and the author’s name using the delete
button and Lauren laughed, wiping at her eyes with the back of
her hand as it came in to view. “I like the pseudonym you’re using
for it,” she chuckled softly, her eyes still moist but appreciating
the distraction from thoughts of her mom. “C.L. Cameron?”
Camila asked and Lauren nodded her head. “Camila, Lauren,
Camren, right?” Lauren questioned. “Yeah,” Camila confirmed.
“Dinah’s going to be pleased at the reference.” “She actually came
 up with it,” Camila shared with her wife. “Why does that not
surprise me?” Lauren said as she moved down through the
document to the acknowledgements page. “Does Dallas know
that you’re including her in this?” she asked after reading the
credit that Camila had given their teacher. “I showed her it last
week when I met up with her for lunch,” Camila replied. “She
does know that this little endeavour is all her fault right?” Laure
said to her wife. “She kept pressing you to write…” “She did,
but…you were the one that inspired me to,” Camila interjected
lovingly. Lauren smiled at Camila and reached for her hand,
squeezing it in quiet acknowledgement of her words before
returning her attention to the screen. She scanned through the
document, her heart fluttering at the memories spilled out on to
the page and tears forming in her eyes again at the sight of both
their names scattered everywhere in black and white, the
significance not lost on her. “You didn’t change any of the
names,” Lauren said, her voice thick with emotion. “I thought you
said that you were going to change yours…” “Yeah well, someone
smart once told me I shouldn’t pass my work off as fiction,”
Camila responded, wiping at Lauren’s eyes with her thumb to rid
them of her tears before reaching over for the mouse to scroll
back up towards the start of the document where the words,
‘Based on a true story’ were written. “I want people to believe in
a love like ours.” She shared with her. “I want them to hope that
one day they’ll find someone that makes them feel the way that
 you make me feel. I want them to believe in happy endings and
understand the importance of perseverance. I don’t ever want
them to give up. I
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 12/19 want them to realise that they could
miss out on something incredible if they do. I want people to read
our story and know that it does get better eventually. Every story
has a hundred happy endings within it Lauren. It’s just that maybe
sometimes the author keeps writing until it can’t have any more,
until there is only one viable ending left.” “You don’t believe
that,” Lauren commented knowingly. “Not anymore at least. Now
you believe that every story has a happy ending. You just believe
that sometimes you don’t always get to see it.” “Yes. I do.” Camila
agreed. “You don’t though. You always said that death was the
ultimate ending to everyone’s story.” “What do you think death is
then?” Lauren asked her intrigued. “Ithink it’s probably just the
beginning of another chapter,” Camila answered openly. “I like to
believe that it’s just a story that no one living has had the
opportunity to read yet.” “Ithink that would be incredible if it
were true,” Lauren said in response. “Ithink that one day you’ll
finally believe that it is,” Camila said hopefully. “Maybe,” Lauren
allowed, placing a hand on Camila’s arm in acknowledgement
before scrolling down to the last page in the document, her eyes
darting back and forth across the screen as she read it. “This is
where you chose to end it? After our junior year of high school,”
 Lauren laughed frivolously despite her still damp eyes. “What
about college?” “You mean the sex, drugs and rock and roll era?”
Camila questioned her wife, lifting an eyebrow. “That’s a whole
other story; one which I’d rather not have to remember just yet.”
She said gesturing at the computer screen. “It’s taken me this long
to come to terms with reliving this storm of emotions. I don’t
think I could handle going back through the mess that was your
alcohol fuelled quest for selfdestruction.” “Hey, it all worked out
eventually,” Lauren reminded her. “Yeah, one horrific breakup
and like what? A million one night stands later?” Camila laughed,
now much more able to freely talk about what had happened
back then. “It wasn’t a million,” Lauren dismissed lightly. “Besides,
it was just sex. It’s not like I had feelings for anyone that I was
with…unlike you…” “Don’t get jealous,” the browneyed woman
reproached goodnaturedly. “You broke up with me remember?”
“I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.” Lauren noted
genuinely. “I was such a fucking idiot.” “You’re not going to hear
any arguments from me,” Camila responded blithely. “You do
know that I never cared about them the way that I care about you
though, don’t you?” she said sincerely, placing a hand on the back
of Lauren’s head and kissing her brow delicately. “I’ve only ever
loved one person in my entire life Lauren and that has and will
always be you.” Lauren stood up and hugged Camila tightly, her
arms pulling her wife in a warm, affectionate embrace. “I love
you,” Lauren declared, kissing the other woman, her mouth
 lingering against her wife’s lips happily. “Thank you for writing
this.” She said, kissing Camila again and then meeting her dark
chocolate eyes. “I know how hard you’ve worked on it and I can’t
wait to read it properly. It really is a great anniversary present.”
“You can read it any time you want,” Camila told her, “but, I’m
not sending it to the editor until next week so it’ll be a while
before you can get it in print.” “Well, when it’s finally released I’m
definitely going to be buying a copy.” Lauren told her. “I want to
own a signed first edition. It’s probably going to be worth a lot of
money one day.” “I doubt it,” Camila laughed, reaching down to
open the desk drawer and remove a card from inside it, “Happy
anniversary.” She said, holding it out for Lauren. “Another hand
made one?” she asked, taking it from her wife’s hand and opening
the envelope.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 13/19 “It is tradition,” Camila remarked,
lifting one corner of her mouth in to a smile, her eyes sparkling
brightly. Lauren pulled the card out and beamed when she saw
two hand drawn interlocking rings on the front of it with ‘Happy
Anniversary,’ written in Camila’s messy handwriting above and
below them. “Do I need to sit down for this?” Lauren queried,
knowing how long everyone single one of her wife’s previous
cards had been, regardless of whether it was for their anniversary,
her birthday, Valentine’s Day or Christmas. “No; not this time.”
Camila replied as Lauren opened the card up to read what was
 inside. “Ilove you.” Lauren grinned at the sight of the short
declaration and lifted her gaze to meet Camila’s eyes which were
watching her closely for a response. “That’s it? Just three
words…” “Out of everything that I have ever said or written they
are the only three words that have ever really mattered.” Lauren
felt her eyes moisten at Camila’s words and revered the fact that
even after all these years they were still capable of moving her to
tears, that her wife could take a simple thought and translate it in
to the most poetic sentiment. Camila’s gift with words was
something that could not be taught. It was instinctive. Her words
came from somewhere deep within her on a whim. She didn’t
plan them, they just happened. Camila’s words were naturally
beautiful. Just like she was. They were inspiring. Just like she was.
Camila’s words were everything to Lauren. Just like she was… __ It
should be raining. But it wasn’t. The skies should be grey and the
weather bleak to match her mood. But it wasn’t. Instead, the sun
was blazing in a cloudless sky and the breeze was warm and
inviting against her skin as she stood on the decking to the beach
house that they’d shared. Her eyes were roaming the ocean
before her, admiring the vista and the way that the calm waves
lapped against the shore, ebbing and flowing in time with the
second hand of her watch. She could hear birds singing musically
in the sky and it reminded her of every time they’d ever sat down
together in this very spot and watched the day fade slowly in to
night around them. This was the home they had made together
 and their children had grown up here, had shared in their love of
the beach and the familiar sensation of the hot sand beneath
their feet as they’d walked along it. They’d played in the sea
during numerous summers, their small hands splashing in the
water until they could no longer fit easily into their hands and
instead held their own children’s. So, no, the weather didn’t
match Lauren’s mood at all. In fact, it wasn’t anywhere near close
to being a suitable representation for how she was feeling.
However, despite that truth Lauren thought that, given the
circumstances, it was probably more than a fitting tribute to her
wife because Camila, well, she would have loved a beautiful day
like today. “Mom,” a deep, caring voice sounded from behind
Lauren in the direction of the house. “The car is here,” it informed
her as a firm hand was placed against the small of her back
supportively. “It’s waiting for us outside.” “Ok Luke,” Lauren
acknowledged, hugging the hardback book in her arms further in
to her chest, her eyes never leaving the ocean. “I’ll be there in a
minute.”
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 14/19 “Daniela called,” he started sadly,
“She’s going to meet us at the church with Paul and the kids,” he
told his mom. Lauren finally turned her attention to her son and
met his hazelnut eyes, the colour reminding her of the ones she’d
first fallen in love with all those years ago. “Alright,” she said,
placing a hand on the crook of his elbow, her other holding on to
 the book it contained tightly. “Is that one of mom’s books?” he
asked, noting the object and reaching out a hand for it
inquisitively. “Yes,” Lauren answered, handing it to him. “It was
her first one.” “I never read that one,” he disclosed. “She always
used to say that it wasn’t appropriate for me or Daniela.” “She
was probably right.” Lauren chuckled sadly, recalling some of the
content inside it. “I remember she used to read to us all the time
growing up,” he commented, observing the worn cover for the
briefest moment before giving it back to Lauren who took it
gratefully. “She loved reading you stories,” she responded,
because it was the truth. One of the things that Camila had love
the most about being a mom was enjoying the way her children’s
faces had lit up in wonder at the stories she’d told them, the way
that their expressions had changed depending on what was
happening in the tales she’d shared, the way that they’d giggled
when they’d found something funny, or hugged her close when
they were scared. It was exactly the same enjoyment that Lauren
used to get when she’d sit and watch Camila read. “She always
did tell the best ones.” Luke said quietly. Lauren nodded her head
solemnly and Luke leant forward and kissed her on the cheek,
brushing some of her long grey hair over her shoulder and out of
the way in order to do so. “I’ll wait for you out front.” He said,
giving her some time to prepare herself for what was to come.
“Thank you,” she accepted gratefully. Luke kissed her on the
forehead again delicately before making his way back inside the
 house to leave her alone once more. Once she was sure that he
was gone, Lauren released the small sob that she’d been fighting
so desperately to suppress and she put her hand up to cover her
mouth ashamed that it had left her lips. She knew that today had
been coming for a while, they’d both known it but still, it didn’t
make the pain in her chest any lighter or the devastation in her
heart any less. It didn’t make her loss any easier to bear because
the reality was that Camila was gone and now she was alone
without the one person who had any hope of being able to
comfort her in the midst of such an agonising despair. Camila had
been sleeping when it had happened. She’d just dozed off in her
chair on the deck and never woken up again. Lauren couldn’t help
but feel thankful for that. The last thing that she’d have wanted
was the knowledge that Camila had suffered, because despite
their jokes, she’d never lost her faculties and Lauren couldn’t bear
the idea that Camila had known what was happening when she’d
taken her last breath. The doctors had thought that her heart had
just finally given out. That the two heart attacks she’d suffered in
the past had finally taken their toll on the organ they’d
permanently damaged beyond repair. No one really understood
that with Camila now gone, her heart was very much in the same
state. Camila had always said that her heart would be the thing to
get in her in the end. She’d had so many problems with it over the
years that she’d always encouraged Lauren to put a bet on it and
make herself some money for a nice holiday somewhere hot and
 exotic, somewhere with white sandy beaches and clear,
transparent seas. Camila didn’t know that Lauren didn’t want to
go anywhere like that without her. That the beach only held as
much beauty as it did for her because she was there too. Lauren
remembered the first heart attack that Camila had suffered when
she was just forty. She remembered being so worried about her
wife that she could barely function
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 15/19 but Camila had rallied through it.
Lauren managed a small smile as she recalled with perfect clarity
the dopey grin that she’d found on Camila’s lips when she’d
entered her hospital room to find her still very much alive. “You
didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily did you?” she’d asked
tiredly and Lauren had burst in to uncontrollable sobs right then
and there on the spot. The second heart attack had hit Camila
harder. She was older then, sixty five, but despite it knocking her
off her feet for a few weeks she’d pulled through that one too,
her heart greatly weaker than it had been but still beating, still
fighting as it always seemed to do, as she always seemed to do.
Camila had always been resilient; had always been a pinnacle of
strength, even if she didn’t always believe it. She was a fighter
through and through. She’d fought for eightynine years but,
ultimately there was only so long that anyone could fight and
Camila had eventually passed just like everyone else that came
before her had. Lauren remembered that after Camila’s second,
 or in reality, third brush with death, that she’d told her that
maybe she’d do something unpredictable, that maybe she would
surprise Lauren one last time and die of something exotic like
choking on a wayward chicken wing. Lauren had laughed at the
time, unable to stifle the chuckle that had left her lips, the proud
look that Camila had worn on her face at her attempted joke
making her laugh all the harder. She wasn’t laughing now though
because Camila was no longer around and the effortless jokes
that had once made her stomach ache as a result of her
amusement had now ceased, never to be uttered again. Lauren
turned her attention to the book in her hands, her eyes scanning
the front cover for the briefest of seconds before she opened it
up, her fingers tracing the words written inside lovingly. Camila
had gone on to write a lot of books after this one. In fact, she’d
written almost, but not quite, fourteen in total. Her first was
always going to be Lauren’s favourite. It had been where
everything had started; where everything had changed. Camila’s
first book was the story that depicted the start of the rest of their
lives together and no matter what came after that, it was always
going to be the most important. Without this story there would
be no others. Without this story Lauren wouldn’t be standing
where she was, desperately trying to come up with words that
were special enough to describe her wife and just how incredible
she had been. Camila had always worried about what she’d leave
behind once she was gone. She’d always had this irrational fear
 that she’d be forgotten, that the mark that she’d leave on the
world would not be big enough to make any kind of impact. If she
could see the gaping hole that her death had left in her family and
friends’ lives then she’d know just how big an effect she’d truly
had, how her love had left an impression on the world that would
continue to live on as long as each subsequent generation of the
family they’d created did. Soon she would be joining them all at
the church, four generations of their family all gathered together
under one roof to say goodbye to the angel that God had seen fit
to grace them with for as long as he had. Lauren looked down at
the open book in her hands and remembered distinctly the
experience that it was recounting on the page before her. It was
the night of the winter formal, when Camila and she had sat
together in bed at Normani’s house and talked deep in to the
night about everything and anything that their minds could think
of. That was the night that Lauren had first told Camila that she’d
considered being a writer, little did she know the irony in her
words at the time, because she’d not known then about Camila’s
gift with words and Camila know that she’d inspire Lauren to
follow another path completely. “Mom,” Lauren heard Luke say
again, her son returning from where he’d been waiting to come in
search of her, worried. “Are you ok?” She’d wanted to say no, but
she couldn’t. She couldn’t because she remembered another
conversation that she’d had with Camila that night, one which
they’d had repeatedly a number of times over the course of their
 life together. She remembered how she’d told Camila that she
believed that death was the ultimate end to everyone’s story; she
remembered how Camila had refuted that, how she’d believed
that death wasn’t the end of your story but just the start of a yet
unwritten one. Camila had believed that there was something
after you died. She’d believed that if you loved someone then not
even death could really separate you from them. In Camila’s eyes,
death was just a transition that everyone had to make at one
point or another; she was just practical enough to know that not
everyone could make it together. Camila
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 16/19 believed that when those that you
cared about did finally make that journey that it was inevitable
that you’d see them again. After all their years together, Camila
had finally managed to convince Lauren of that too. “Yes,” she
answered, turning towards her son and smiling at the comfort she
took from that knowledge. She glanced back down at the book in
her hands and flicked it open to the last page, finding a folded
piece of paper with her name hidden there with her name on it.
Luke closed the distance between them and he took the book
from her hands so that she could open it, reading the note over
his mom’s shoulder. “Lauren, I’m writing this note and hoping that
you don’t decide to take a trip down memory lane any time soon
because I’d not planned for you to find it until after my death. I
took a gamble that maybe you’d want to revisit where it all began
and if you’re reading this then I’m glad that I was right. It’s nice to
know that you still seek comfort in my words, even if I never really
understood the reason that you valued them so much. If I’m gone
then it means my heart finally gave out, I never really believed
that a chicken wing would be responsible for my demise but the
laugh it had elicited from your lips definitely made it worth me
saying. Lauren, please remember the promise that you once made
me. You said that you’d tell people about me one day and I want
to hold you to that now. Don’t be sad that I’ve gone, don’t share
our memories with sorrow but with happiness. Remember that I
can never truly leave you, not as long as you hold me in your
heart. If there is nothing else you remember, remember that. I
still exist because you do and this separation will be over soon
enough. Enjoy the time that you have left with our family and
don’t worry that you’re not strong enough to survive the rest of
your journey without me because you are. This is just another
storm Lauren and you’re an expert at navigating them now. I
don’t know where I’ll end up now but I know that wherever is it
it’ll be beautiful, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and
you taught me to see the beauty in everything. Just remember
that I love you Lauren and I can’t wait to see you again, to start
another story even better than our last. A smooth sea never did
make a skilled sailor did it? Then again the sea never really did
stay smooth for too long. It would always grow turbulent again.
The sea might not have always been idyllic on our journey but it
 did make for one hell of a ride and I am so grateful that we were
able to take it together. I’m not going to keep you too long Lauren
because I know how much I can ramble. I just want to say one last
thing: I was reading this story back before I wrote this note and I
thought it appropriate to finish it with the last words I said to you
after our first encounter in the hallway all those years ago. So,
‘Goodbye Lauren…maybe I’ll see you around.’” Luke wrapped an
arm around his mother’s shoulders and she buried her face in to
his chest, no longer fighting her tears but riding the wave of them
like the skilled sailor that she’d become. He led her towards the
house and together they made their way to the car which he
guided her in to carefully. He sat with her the entire journey to
the church, his hand on top of one of her own whilst Camila’s
book remained open in her other. Lauren now knew what she was
going to say about Camila, deep down she thought she’d always
known. There were so many incredible words that Lauren could
say about her wife and none of them would ever compare to the
eloquent eulogy that she would probably have received if their
roles had been reversed. Lauren knew exactly what she was going
to say and it was so simple that she was surprised it hadn’t
dawned on her earlier.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 17/19 She was going to tell everyone the
truth, because at the end of the day, that’s all she really had. The
truth was that when she’d first met Camila she’d been a broken
 girl, eager to throw her life away and submit herself to death to
escape from herself and her torturous mind. The truth was that
Camila hadn’t been that girl in a long time and Lauren
remembered clearly the night after prom when she’d disappeared
forever, when they’d watched the sun come up together on the
beach and made predictions for the years ahead. “3. We will not
let the world break us.” And they hadn’t. But most importantly,
Camila hadn’t. Camila never did let the world break her. Instead,
she took life by both hands and she lived the fullest version of it
that she could. She’d enjoyed every minute possible and endured
every trial she was given with a steely resolve that she’d
developed over the course of that first year that they were
together. Camila had lived. She’d lived every second of every
single day and she never once let the world break her. Camila
never let life defeat her. Instead, she’d conquered it. And Lauren
would tell everyone that would listen that one, singular truth.
“Mom, we’re here,” Luke said, pulling Lauren from her thoughts.
He was standing outside the car, his hand held out for her to take.
“Ok,” she said, glancing out at the church for an instant before
quickly reading the final paragraph of Camila’s book. When she’d
finished, Lauren closed it and got out of the car, her son wrapping
his arm around her shoulders again in support, her book still
firmly in her grasp and Camila’s words echoing loudly in her head:
“Love stories are interesting. More often than not they focus on
two protagonists finding one another and discovering that in six
billion people, there is only one other person that they could ever
imagine spending the rest of their life with. Camila knew without
a shadow of a doubt that her junior year of high school was the
start of an incredible love story. In fact, it turned out to be the
greatest love story she would ever know because it was hers. It
was the story about the love between two girls, who chance had
decided to throw together in to the eye of a storm. It was a story
about the love of a family, who had made sacrifices and
compromises for one another that required no thanks. It was a
story about the love between friends, who had stood by one
another through everything that life had thrown their way, the
good and the bad. Ultimately though, it was a story about the love
that one girl had found for herself. It was a love story in every
single sense of the word and that is what made it great.” A/N: So
there you have it. I know it’s probably predictable as fuck but, I
what can I say, I like predictable J Once again, I just want to thank
everyone that has taken the time to read this story and take this
journey with me. I know that it was long but that makes me
appreciate your support even more. I cannot thank any of you
enough for your words of kindness and your compliments. I still
do not quite comprehend how this story became what it is and I
don’t think that I ever will. I have read this over and over again
until I have given myself a headache, so if there are any errors or
mistakes then I apologise but I could not bring myself to read it
through one more time. I just want to personally thank Megs,
 Caitlin, Jen and Jasmin for all their support, especially in
reassuring me that I should stick with the ending that I had
originally planned despite me doubting it.
http://5hfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/93623440372/trialsand-
tribulationsepilogue 18/19 On that note, I may be MIA for a while
whilst the aftermath of my decision settles down. Thanks again,
Beth