SOCIALLY

ACCEPTED

First Edition
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Acknowledgements
Dedication
Preface
Part 1
It’s Time for a Change
Chapter 1
Where We Begin
Embrace the Change
Chapter 2
Zones
What’s the Friends Zone?
Avoiding the Creep Zone
Chapter 3
Making A Move
The Group Approach
Every interaction is important
Detach yourself from the outcome
Chapter 4
The Don’ts!
A Timely Exit
Everyone Has Problems
Me VS We
Chapter 5
Timing
10-Minute Rule
 5 Second Rule
Count to 3
Save it for next time
Life is long
Take your time
Chapter 6
Leaving an Impression
Cool Factor
How to be remembered
One up the Competition
Rep your city
Playing Hard to Get
How to know you’re in the clear
PART 2
The Art of Interaction
Chapter 7
Initial Contact
Chapter 8
Building Rapport
The Unusual
Do Not Break Ties – Keep Friendships
Video chatting
Chapter 9
Practice
Stay in conversation
Do not let it bother you
The Law of Numbers
No Shame Game
When to give up
 Closer
Chapter 10
Pay Close Attention
Proximity of Interest
Attention to Detail
Nice Things are Shiny Things
Overly Excited Greetings
Chapter 11
Gimmicks
Drugs
Chapter 12
Tips & Tricks
Outside the Box
Escorting the Queen
Document the Night
Signature Move
Beautiful People
Chapter 13
In Conversation
Fill in the Silence
The Awkward Silence
Passionate
Sports Center
Networking
Only you can make it Awkward
Bend the truth
Exaggerate Everything
PART 3
The Alpha Being:
Chapter 14
Bettering Yourself
Fitness
Video Games
Name, Rinse and Repeat
  Get Informative
Confidence is KEY
Body Language
Head
Upper Body
Lower Body
Eyes
Facial Feedback
Nice guys finish last Awesome guys finish on her face Shy
guys finish with their hands
Dancing
Chapter 15
How to Look Good
Fresh to Death
Mints & Gum
Shoes
Sense of Smell
Chapter 16
A Better Person
Talk Highly & Cut Negativity
Chivalry is alive as long as you revive it
Risk/Reward
Traits
Just for the ladies
Part 4:
All The Other Good Stuff
Chapter 17
Telecommunications
Past VS Future
The Art of the Voicemail
Chapter 18
Social Media
Social Media Game
Social Media Cool
Mobile Applications
Online Dating
Chapter 19
Out & About
Night Clubs
Drink of choice
Facebook Add
Chapter 20
Dates
Romantic Gestures
The Perfect Date
Reservations at Restaurants
Chapter 21
Sex, Sex, Sex
The first time’s the most important time
Sex Talk
I Love You
Keep your mouth shut
Chapter 22
 The Closing
Conclusion
…It doesn’t end here.
Call to Action!
Quotes I Live By
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 Socially Accepted
A SELF-HELP BOOK
FOR THE SOCIALLY AWKWARD

Joe Casanova

This book is very informative. This book was originally 500 pages but I cut almost half of it out to
give you, the reader, and great information without wasting your time. So my first piece of advice for
you is to have your HIGHLIGHTER ready. This book is what I have lived and experienced my
whole life by, and without argument, people seem to like me. I hope that this book will change your
life; realistically, it can’t change everyone’s. I can tell you one thing though: by the time you finish
this book, you will have learned and/or picked something up which you will find yourself using in
the future. So please… I repeat PLEASE….
Use a HIGHLIGHTER!
You will thank me later.
Nightmare
Acknowledgements
I put my heart and soul into this book but I would lying if I said I did it all on
my own. Firstly I would have to most importantly thank the person that made it
all happen and that’s my brother Jose. You made me wake up everyday more
driven than the day before and I really would not know where I would be
without you. Peter and Chase you two were the first to hear about this all on a
drive to Tallahassee. It was an awful ride up due to paranoia in the backseat but
I’m forever grateful for it because if you two didn’t give me the feedback I
received that trip, this book would not be where it is today. My amazing
supermom you played the role of both parents for many years carrying the
family on your back but we’re all grown up and successful it’s our turn to take
care of you, I love you mom! My brother Roger you always remind me to keep
my cool because it’s always going to be all right. Demo you’re the best
brother/mentor anyone can ask for and everyday you make us proud. My only
sister Naomi you’ve impressed me because you know exactly what you want to
do and you’ll do what ever it takes to achieve that. Dylan you’re like a little
brother thanks for always helping out whenever we need something! Tio,
Sabrina, Priscilla glad we’ve gotten a lot closer recently thanks for always
showing love and support! Nelly, John, Jaime, Jen, Gale, and everyone else in
my family I love you all and I’m glad we’re on the same team!
Eric know if I didn’t have brothers you’d definitely be standing up there as
one of my best men! Peter thanks for being a loyal protégé, I know you look up
to me thanks for always reminding me how cool I am. My two favorite girls
Gaby and Alli! You girls really showed me how it feels to have a friend that got
your back! Thank you a million times you guys helped out more than you know!
Love you girls! My two partners in the scene Will and Santi, aka Team Turn Up,
half the content I got from this book was hanging out with you two!
There is a ton of people I would love to thank from life experiences that I
received from hanging out with them to things I shouldn’t do! Every experience
is a learning experience. Elisa thanks for always hearing me vent you’ve made a
life long friend! Emily you’re like a sister to me you’re awesome and the world
knows it. Michi there’s no explaining our bond glad I met you! Lia thanks for
always having my back. Chris can’t tell you how much I appreciate you giving
me the opportunity to participate in such an amazing venture. Shout out to
VitaSquad! KC you already know. Cobra you’re a new friend but I know you’ll
be around for a lifetime. Javi you’re one of my oldest friends marry Anna
already! Friends, you know exactly who you are, thank you for the motivation
and friendship you all give me. I cannot forget my beautiful Engelyna, you were
there for me more than anyone. You believed in me when I didn’t even believe in
myself. You constantly reminded me that I am destined for greatness. You’re the
best person I know. Thank you for teaching me how to love!
Most importantly I must thank you. Thank you for purchasing this book and
taking the time to read my thanks to all of those who made this possible. I can’t
explain how grateful I am for you to be reading this and a part of the experience.
I really hope you put down this book a better human being than you were when
you picked it up.
In loving memory of
Jose Casanova
May 1937 – October 2005
Preface
Before you begin your journey, you need to make sure you are prepared. You
need to have an open mind to everything you are about to read, and you must
believe that this book will change your life. You need to force yourself to want
this change, for today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today is the day
where you begin your journey; the journey to become the best you possible.
Everyday you need to believe that you are capable of being your best self. You
need to ignore what people think and don’t let their judgments affect how you
live your life. You live your life to the fullest, and the first thing you need to do
in order to maximize your living is to be the best you possible.
The reason why you may struggle in your life, may it be getting along with
your coworkers, finding that special somebody, making new friends, finding out
what you want to do with the rest of your life, or any problem you can think of is
all because you’re letting yourself struggle. The second you accept reality and
understand that you are the reason why all this is happening to you is the second
you can change it all. You are in control of your own universe. Everybody lives a
life of his or her own, and each person’s universe is unique from everyone else’s.
You need to gain control, and from this point on you will be taking that control.
Everything that you have in your life, your universe, you attracted it. Accept
responsibility and believe that everything that has come to your life is a result of
your actions. Whether your actions are your thoughts or beliefs: either way, you
attracted it. Now that you are aware that you have attracted all of this, you will
evolve and attract only the things you desire. Whatever it is you want, from a
new social circle, friends at your workplace, or even a significant other, you will
attract it as long as you believe it. When used with a combination of what you
will learn from this book, an understanding of this mindset can lead you to
infinite possibilities.
Times have changed and they will keep changing. We are all connected now
more than ever, but why isn’t there a guide that can help use evolve with this on-
going change? There are some niche guides that focus on how to benefit your
business using technology, but none really focus on how we can use it to benefit
ourselves. At the end of the day all that matters is if you’re truly happy. Apply
what you learn from this book with a willingness to change and you will
undoubtedly live a happier, more substantial life.
In recent years, people have been so trapped by social media and electronics
that we have forgotten how to interact with people face-to-face. Have you ever
spoken to somebody through text message (or any other similar form of
communication that requires typing) and when talking to him or her, you two
seem to have a strong initial connection or attraction? Every joke is hilarious and
each of you take turns at a punch line but when you see him or her in person,
you have absolutely nothing to talk about? It’s what some will call socially
awkward. It’s a lot easier to use these forms for communication than it is to talk
in person. So, those who are truly socially awkward will eventually be
discovered. Has that been something you have called yourself some time before?
If so, it’s fine; we all have done it before where we second-guess ourselves. The
key to appearing greater than what you really are is to always exert confidence.
Eventually, when you appear greater than what you really are, you become this
person, or alter ego, that you have created. The product of your imagination, this
person that you created, which is just beyond excellence, is you being your best
you.
You know those days when you wake up in the morning and just feel awesome? Everything smells and
tastes better, every joke seems funnier, you feel strong enough to lift a car and there is no obstacle that you
can’t overcome. Have you ever had those days that you wish could never end because everything was going
right? On these days you know you’re unstoppable: your confidence skyrockets. We need you to live and
feel this way every day of your life.
Most authors, when they write, will try to make one great piece of advice stretch throughout half the
book. I am not going to bullshit you. I am going to try and give you as much useful information as fast as
possible, without trying to lose you. If it gets too complicated, you may be able to find some examples to
help clarify. If you don’t understand it, try rereading it. If you still don’t get it, then move on to the next
part. This book contains a lot of information that will help you out tremendously in future attempts at
building rapport. I encourage reading with a highlighter because some of the information I give you is going
to be new and effective.
Remember, these are tips and tricks I have learned from my years of interacting with people. In my
experience, they have worked, but just like most things in life they may not work all the time. Most of these
examples are successful based on execution, so with practice comes perfection. Do not be afraid to use any
of the given examples; just remember that the more you put yourself in a situation that requires you to talk
your way out of it, the more you help yourself in navigating those situations. The goal of this book is to
enjoy life! Also while doing so gain friends and maybe finding that special someone. So let’s get started,
and remember to have an open mind with the intention of starting a better life from the moment you turn the
page; it’s the beginning of the rest of your life.
Part 1

It’s Time for a Change

Chapter 1

Where We Begin

Embrace the Change
When I first finished this book I had a couple friends read it and give me
feedback. They all said the same thing. It was great! I’m so proud of you!
Congratulations! None of it was real let’s be honest they were bias. So I went
and got complete strangers to give me feedback. They all told me the same
thing… I started off way to strong. First I want to explain my journey of
transformation so that you can understand that becoming Socially Accepted is
possible for anyone.
I would be lying if I told you that high school was tough for me because it
wasn’t. It was actually really fun. Going to school everyday, hanging out with
my friends, playing on my phone half the time, and sleeping through the boring
classes who can complain? Although when school was over that’s when the true
me came out.
I was hooked on video games since as long as I could remember. I saw my
character in World of Warcraft more than I actually saw my dad. I would stay up
all night playing video games and go to sleep all day during school. Then came
my junior year where it all changed. My father left this world.
After that I really stopped playing video games all together and started living
life a lot more. For the first 18 years of my life my name was Joe Castellon. My
father’s name was Casanova and my mother’s was Soberon. They combined
them and we were the Castellon family until he passed. After that the whole
family changed it to Casanova.
So as I’m graduating high school and going to college I have no entered a new
social circle, gave up video games, and become Joe Casanova. When I turned 20
I started working in nightclubs. Everyday I was working, interacting,
networking, building friendships, and shaking hands. I went from an anti-social
computer nerd to a Miami socialite. Through my journey of getting to where I
am now I picked up a few tricks on the way. It all started with a documentary
called the Secret that taught me all about the Law of Attraction.
The Law of Attraction
 The Law of Attraction, also known as the Secret, can and will change your
life, as long as you are open to it. Have you ever noticed those days where the
second you wake up something goes wrong and for the rest of the day it seems
you just can’t catch a break? In that same day you were late for work or school,
and for some reason you hit every red light on the way there. You may think that
these are all forces out of your control, but the truth is that you attracted all of it.
The Law of Attraction is a belief that by focusing on positive or negative
thoughts one can manifest those positive and negative thoughts into reality. At
times in your life, you may sit and reflect on the negative. Why do my
coworkers not like me? Why can’t I find a decent person to date? Why do my
friends keep selling me out? You keep asking yourself these questions, but the
sad truth is that these questions come with negative baggage. Negative thoughts
bring out negative results.
Throughout your life, you have encountered some form of the Law of
Attraction. For example, have you ever seen or used a vision board? The
creation of a Vision board is a process by which you cut out pictures of the
things you want and put them on a board. The vision board helps with
visualization. I actually have mine hung on the wall in front of my bed so that
it’s the first thing I see every morning. It brings out positive thoughts, which can
lead to positive results. Remember, like attracts like. If you are at home staring at
a mountain full of debt thinking to yourself, “I will never pay this off,” then
guess what? You will never pay it off. Whenever you’re out and have the
intention of meeting someone but the whole time believe they’re going to reject
you, chances are they will.
The moment you understand the Law of Attraction is the moment you can use
it to your advantage. The moment you accept that everything bad that has
happened in your life is actually your fault is the moment you can change it. If
you think angry thoughts, you will attract events and circumstances that will
make you feel more anger. The same works with positivity. If you have positive
thoughts and emotions you will attract positive results.
Ultimately, this works off of our thoughts and emotions. It is said that we have
over 50,000 thoughts a day. So you are probably thinking that it’s impossible to
make all of those thoughts positive. We don’t need to make all our thoughts
positive; we just need to spend more time focusing on the positive ones.
It has been said that for the Law of Attraction to work you need to ask the
universe for what ever it is you want. Then, when you ask for it, you must
believe you have already obtained it. You must live your life in a positive
manner, as if you just got that new car, even though all you’ve done is put the
thought out to the universe. You must honestly believe it and feel the happiness
that comes with actually having it before you have it. By radiating the positive
thoughts and emotions you will eventually attract them to your life. From
personal experience, I have learned that the Law of Attraction works best when
used with the Law of Detachment. Once you ask, you must then believe; once
you believe, then you must let go.
Now, you are probably wondering what does all this have to do with being
Socially Accepted? Well, this actually has everything to do with being Socially
Accepted. The way to create this change in your life is to actually believe that
change is going to happen. Focus on the positive parts and they will manifest
before your eyes. Visualize yourself controlling a room and being the life of the
party. Imagine yourself talking to the person of your dreams or how it would be
to go out for drinks with your coworkers after work. You are in control of your
universe, as well as what gets brought into it. Master positive thinking. Cut out
all negative thoughts and visualize your life how you want it to be. Remember
these 3 words: ask, believe, and receive.
Introduction
Not everybody knows how to be social or how to hold a conversation long
enough and without embarrassing themselves but that’s why you have us! At
first, it started as a self-help book on how to talk to women but then I realized it
could be applied to all conversations as a means to win friends and influence
people.
In being a successful conversationalist, which is the key to being social, one
must have the following traits:

1. Patience
2. Persistence
3. Confidently initiating conversation with stangers
4. Knowing how to talk to someone and build rapport
5. Staying humble
6. Pleasant presence
7. Kindness
8. Uniqueness
9. Comedic presence
Some of these you either have or you don’t, but some can be taught and understood over time. With time
and practice, you can learn to master these concepts and leave everyone around you wanting more.
Be your Best Self
Anyone who has ever said to just be yourself does not give great advice. They know what to say,
but they just don’t know how to say it. You don’t want to be yourself; you want to be your best self. You
know those days that you just feel on top of the world and everything is going perfect, that nothing can
bring you down? You want to be in that mood. If you feel on top of the world, the people you are talking to
will want to join you.
In order to be your best self, you need to master the techniques in this book along with your everyday
traits and obstacles. For example, are you over weight or have bad breath? Fix that! Be the best version of
yourself that you can possibly be! Are you wearing sweat pants and a tank top out to lunch? Come on now,
you know better than that. Do some research: go on a nice shopping spree; try to better your look. Do you
slouch when at the dinner table or even chew with your mouth open? “You gon’ learn today!” Sit up
straight, keep eye contact, and most importantly do not speak when there is food in your mouth!
Every day, besides the short and long-term goals that you are striving to
complete, you should be working on yourself. When the moment comes where
you have to put it to the test, just remember that this is what you have been
training for. Be the best you that you can be! Confident, happy, and fearless.
There is nothing that is going to bring you down because from this day on,
you’re unstoppable!
 You need a skill or a hobby

Every person in this world should strive to reach his or her full potential.
Perhaps it’s being the best at your favorite sport, or being in the peak of your
physical shape. Being rich and attractive isn’t going to cut it anymore. It’s 2014,
people write and speak 5 different languages while playing 6 different musical
instruments. Why? Nowadays, we are so accessible to tutorials and information
that we can teach ourselves just about anything. 1Stumbleupon is a great tool to
learn and master almost anything. You can learn skills from jump-starting a car
to how to fix a water heater. Being handy coincides with being street smart.
There is nothing sexier in this world than being intelligent.
Perfect your hobbies from sports, exercise, art, design, building things, labor,
languages, music, or just about anything you can imagine! Whatever it is that
brings you excitement, try your best to perfect it. It is said when you have
invested 10,000 hours into something you are a professional in that field. The
beauty behind having a skill or hobby arises in the moment when you reveal it to
everyone. I can play piano, but I never tell anyone that. So, when that moment
comes and I jump on the piano, it catches everyone off guard. In that moment, it
is difficult not to impress those you caught by surprise.
Revealing a skill or hobby that you put a substantial bit of time and effort into
feels amazing, especially when it’s done nonchalantly. Another amazing feeling
is teaching, especially when you’re teaching something that is mutually
interesting. The point I’m getting at is that you want to be cultured. From
knowing about genocide in Africa to Brazilian coffee is useful, especially when
it is brought up at the right time; it can go a long way. Read up on current events
and the world news. When the moment comes, that someone brings up a topic
that they believe no one knows about, then you jump in and share what you
know about it. The information you gave them was relevant, intellectual, and
makes you a part of the moment.
 Time for a Change

Do you feel like you are just stuck in a never-ending loop of boredom? Maybe
the thing you need is a change in scenery. Some of us don’t have the luxury of
being able to spontaneously pack our bags and leave, but with proper planning
you might be able to do so. Find your reasoning for why you should change your
life. Who knows, you might love it or you might hate it. Either way, there will
always be more change coming. So if you aren’t a fan of your current situation
keep on changing.
 If you feel as if you are doing the same thing over and over again, maybe it’s
time to add something new to your life. Hit the gym, pick up a hobby, travel,
move to another city, start a business, or get a new social circle of friends. The
possibilities are endless. Your life is in your hands and you have already taken
the initial step to changing it by picking up a self-help book. On the other hand,
reading something and doing something are two completely different things.
Take the initiative into changing your life!
Make it a daily routine to speak to strangers. Your true personality will come
out time and time again. Eventually you will find people who are truly in love
with your personality, and next thing you know, you may have found a friend to
be a part of the rest of your life. Business and pleasure are two different things,
but the happiest people in the world make it the same. If you’re stuck in a boring
9 to 5 job that you can’t stand, take it upon yourself to invest some money you
have put aside to start a venture you really believe in. Besides being able to use
this in conversation, working on your own projects shows that you are ambitious
and strive for more in your life. You should not settle for mediocrity.
I believe everyone in their lives has come up with multiple million-dollar
ideas, and some have even come up with a billion-dollar idea. For example,
when I was in high school, my brother and I had a website where we uploaded
pictures of the parties we went too. I thought of the steps of making it into
Facebook. During that time there was no go-to website you went on because the
Internet was nowhere near as developed as it is today. The problem was I didn’t
execute on my idea. Everyone has an idea that they always wanted to follow
through with, but for some reason it’s still sitting as a note on their phone or
computer. You need to focus on yourself and bettering yourself to a state of
happiness. With that, you will gain the power and strength to speak to anyone,
control any conversation, and even persuade any person into sharing your
beliefs. If you mix your business with pleasure, you will soon feel a sense of
accomplishment and confidence that you do not need to force on yourself
because it will all come naturally.
When you experience true happiness, there is no need to think about the steps
in conversation. You are happy and everything comes to you naturally. You don’t
care if this person is going to like you or not because at the end of the day you
will still be happy. The best advice you can get from this book is to live a happy
life. Forcing a smile on your face so that random people can approach you
because you look like you’re having fun is one thing. Actually being happy
because everything in your life is going according to plan or the future is looking
bright for you is another thing! If you are stuck in the same routine, break it
because then you will finally have something to look forward to in the future.
Ask yourself…

Do you attract negative energy?
I hate my job. School sucks. Why can’t pay my bills?

What’s the next thing you’re looking forward to?
Is it temporary happiness?

What do you do in your spare time?

Do you kill time watching TV, searching the Internet, or playing video games? Or do
you invest it in yourself by playing instruments, learning languages, or perfecting your
hobby?

1 www.stumbleupon.com
Chapter 2

Zones
My 21st birthday celebration was one of the happiest days of my life. My
brother threw me a grand surprise party. I was told that I was going to Chili’s
with my closest friends. After being at the restaurant with my friends they were
going to blindfold me and take me somewhere else. Before my brother misled
me to believe they were going to take me to a strip club, get a huge fat stripper to
put her ass in my face. Now one of two things was going to happen when they
took off the blindfold: I was either going to be extremely repulsed or ecstatic,
depends how much I drank by then. Honestly I was so gullible at the moment or
maybe a bit hung over that I went with it. While I was blindfolded they led me
into my house unknowingly; faked a scenario with a bouncer at the door to
check my ID; put some loud stripper music on; and lifted my blindfold to reveal
all my friends inside my house. I have never been more surprised in my life.
At this moment, I honestly had no idea what to do. I walked towards the
hallway to see even more people in the living room because they all couldn’t fit
through the front door. I was completely in shock and everyone was staring at
me. Understandably, I had no idea what to do. I was overwhelmed, but I did see
my mom peeking out of her room. I had no idea what I was doing at the time,
but I went over there and gave her a hug, I guess it was from the happiness I was
experiencing. Seriously, it was the best decision I have ever made.
I was extremely drunk and a little emotional so my eyes began to get a bit
watery. When the women at the party saw me tearing from happiness right after I
hugged my mom, they ate it up. I would never forget what a couple girls said to
me, “You should give up that whole asshole thing you do all the time and play
the sensitive card more often; it’s a better look for you.”
The thing is that I am never an asshole to anyone, but since I avoid the nice
guy persona they assume that I am. I go out of my way to be nice to strangers
and while my patience has been tested multiple times I maintain my composure.
I have passed with flying colors. Unfortunately, I care about what people think;
although people think that I don’t. Nice Guys need to avoid common mistakes
they make without noticing. One that is commonly done is continually asking for
permission. You are an adult. Be assertive. Don’t ask simply state. “We’re going
on a date.” as opposed to “Will you go out on a date with me?”
 Little things like that add up and can affect a person’s opinion of you. As
much as people say they don’t assume and judge, we all do. Another mistake we
make is forgiving too easily. Yes, it’s nice to be there for someone, but when you
always put an effort towards a relationship or friendship and the other person
takes it for granted it will impact you negatively. There is something that I
learned from hip-hop, and if I learned it earlier in my life then I would be a lot
more successful than I am now. –The power behind the word SWERVE.

The word swerve, as defined by 1Urban Dictionary, means to dismiss or to say
no to a request. Personally, I use it when someone gets me angry and I no longer
want to deal with his or her presence. You only live the life you live, so why
spend it with people contributing nothing but negativity to yours? Have the
power to say no to someone who has let you down. Forgiveness is fine, but never
forget their actions towards you. Use it to your advantage. Make sure that, when
someone does something that upsets you, you let them know how much it
bothered you. Stand your ground. Consider whether they are worth the headache
or not.
Another common trait of the nice guy persona is holding back your tongue.
Some people tend to hold back what they have to say because they are scared
their contribution to the conversation isn’t going to be noteworthy. Stop
overthinking it and join in on the fun. Believe me, you’ve heard someone say
something dumb, laughed about it for a couple seconds, then completely forgot
about it. Quit overthinking everything and just do it!
As I said before, I honestly care what people think, but I would never let them
know that. I guess it’s ironic because now I am letting them know that. Stop
worrying about what people think of you and just do You. Remember, they are
just another person in this world, and for all you know they won’t be in your life
the next day, week, month, or year. Stop walking on eggshells and being overly
concerned with what you have to say and do. You need to completely cut out the
idea of contributing something not worthy. Consider your presence a blessing to
all that you communicate with.
You should put in more than you take from this world. Honestly though, do
you know why the asshole gets the girl? It’s because they don’t give a shit about
what people think, and they live a way more exciting life. Nice Guys aren’t
really doing that. You need to stop being the nice and boring person and start
being the bold and spontaneous human being you were always meant to be!

What’s the Friends Zone?
Unfortunately, if you are reading this now and are in the friend zone with
someone, chances are you are going to stay there. Now, if you are meeting
someone, and it seems they are trying to put you in the friend zone, there are a
couple things you can do to avoid that. For one, let’s start with stating your
intentions.
You cannot be hesitant to put yourself out there! Remember, this person is
trying to put you in the friend zone, so you need to stand your ground. Women
are different than men; they need to know how you feel about them. Half the
conversations they have with their friends are about if they like you or not. The
difference between men and women, though, is that women need to hide their
feelings from men because most men will see that as an opportunity to take
advantage of them and then move on to the next. Men, unfortunately, are
assholes, but any man can be the exception! If a man tells a woman he likes her
she will remember it and will be more likely to hang around to see where it goes.
If a woman tells a man she likes him, he will see that as an opportunity to get
into bed with her. The truth sucks doesn’t it? So, Boys, tell the girl how you feel,
and, Girls, you should refrain from revealing your feelings until he shows his!

Don’t be afraid to touch the person you are trying to build attraction with! I
can’t emphasize enough how important breaking the touch barrier is. Most
importantly, in avoiding the friend zone, you cannot be afraid to lose that person
as a friend. You need someone there to grow with and to care about. If this
person isn’t on the same page as you then move 2on to the next. There are a
whole lot of people in the world that you can move on too. Most men won’t state
their intentions because they think it will ruin the relationship or it will lead to
rejection, which they are scared of. If you want to stay away from the friend
zone, you can’t be scared to lose this person. Don’t try convincing yourself that
you would rather have that person as a friend because you are scared of
rejection. I promise; you will get over rejection, but you will not get over seeing
that person you have feelings for date someone else because you let yourself fall
into the friend zone. 

Avoiding the Creep Zone

I am grateful to say that I have never been labeled in the creep zone. Or so I think? When you are
in the creep zone, there is nothing you can say or do to have that person want to talk to you. For every word
you say there is an excuse to get away from you. A couple easy ways to avoid this is to make your presence
wanted.
1. Be cool- don’t appear overly-needy and desperate to talk to someone. Have
fun and do you! Just like Field of Dreams says, “if you build it they will come.”
Just relax. Enjoy whatever you are doing and wait for the right opportunities to
do your thing. Do not overstep your boundaries, for the second you touch
someone that doesn’t want to be touched, you get a giant X on your head. Don’t
talk about ex’s, don’t appear too needy, and remember, don’t touch unless you
were touched first.
2. Don’t Ramble- when you finally get that opportunity, make it quick and to
the point. Try to be a combination of funny and cute with a little bit of mystery.
Have that person wanting to talk to you, directing the conversation to new topics
and questions. Although questions are a useful way to continue conversation you
don’t want the person to feel as if they’re in an interrogation. If that person is
asking you questions then you are golden!
3. Stay Clean- the biggest problems with creeps is their presence is
undesirable. If you smell bad, guess what? Your presence is undesirable. So be
sure to wear cologne (not too much), keep your underarms deodorized, your
teeth clean, and your hair/facial hair, if you have any, groomed.
4. Smile- you will see this spoken about or touched upon in future parts
because this is the key to everything. Smiling reflects the positive energy in your
mood so don’t you ever stop doing it!
5. Body language- Give Zero Fucks. Confident people are not creepy because
they don’t let one person’s opinion affect them. When negative energy comes in
the form of someone calling you creepy deflect it and let it go. If your body
language shows you are comfortable and cool, you won’t be labeled as a creep.
Keep your posture straight, hands out of your pocket, keep eye contact (make
sure it’s not a creep stare), be positive, and don’t fidget!
6. Fashion- this is crucial, if you look like a creep, you probably are a creep.
Be up to date on how to dress, over-indulge on yourself, and try to keep up with
appearances.
These are essential in avoiding the creep zone. Sometimes, though, you just
can’t avoid it, even if you are the coolest person in the room. People are strange,
very strange, so don’t let their poor decisions affect your day/life. Move on and
you’ll be fine. Don’t let one person’s opinion get in the way!
Ask yourself…


Do you ask for permission for things you don't need to?

Can I go to the bathroom? Can I sit down? (At your own house)

Do you forgive easily?

After being sold out, ignored, or embarrassed.

Are you in the friend zone?

Did you ever state your intentions and stop talking to them when
they said they didn't feel the same?

Ever been labeled as a creep?

Was it because your clothes? Breath? Had too much to drink?

Were you desperate or persistent? Turn it down a notch.
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
-Napoleon Hill

1 www.urbandictionary.com

2 HOV Δ
Chapter 3

Making A Move
The Approach
Any possible opportunity you see where you can approach someone just go
for it! Especially if it is a stranger because in the best-case scenario you may
become best friends, date, or even possibly receive a job opportunity. Worst-case
scenario they may brush you off and you will never see them again (unless you
go to school or work with them). The purpose of meeting people, especially
strangers, is that when a mutual friend then introduces you to someone, who is a
stranger at the time, you know how to speak and steer the conversation in your
favor. If you think about it, we are all just strangers until we meet someone and
become acquainted; it’s the way of life. Strangers become acquaintances and
acquaintances become friends. Practice on how to make strangers your friends
and you will master an art.
When approaching a stranger, there are some key things you should
remember. You should never approach them from behind or from a point where
they can’t see you coming. Don’t talk to the stranger until you are in their line of
vision. This assures that they hear you and you don’t look like a fool trying to
gain some stranger’s attention. When you speak, don’t forget to smile. A smile
shows that you are not threatening and that you only mean to bring positivity in
whatever interaction you two are having. The biggest advice to give anyone
while approaching a stranger is to remain confident. Confidence is KEY! Just
remember, if it goes terribly wrong, chances are you will never see them again.
Get to know the person, but do not overstep your welcome because, after all, you
are a stranger to this person. If you are all out of talking points, just remember
that when talking to someone face-to-face, the best conversation points to fall
back on are things you are both observing.
Observations are a great topic of conversation, but they should only be used
when you are conversationally stuck with that person. If you are first meeting
someone and you tell them to look at something bizarre while laughing, chances
are you’re going to come off a little creepy. On the other hand, if you came with
a friend to an event or party and it seems like you are going to be
speaking/hanging out with that person all night, observations are a great topic of
conversations. There might be something interesting that is going on, a couple
fighting, or even a friend of yours that you know an interesting fact about.
Always make sure that when you point out an observation you follow it up with
a comment.
Put thought into your comment. If you’re trying to bring observations into
conversation you probably aren’t talking very much. So when you see something
interesting, like a couple fighting at a bar, point it out and say something like “I
could never fight in public; it’s way too much negative attention.” You have just
created a topic for conversation. You may now talk about crazy stories you heard
of your friends and their ex’s or even something you saw that seemed
embarrassing for the couple. Maybe, a close encounter you have had.
The beauty to this is that now that you have opened conversation back up with
an observation you have the ability for topics to change. When hanging out with
someone and conversation goes silent, it is difficult to pick it back up. The
longer the silence the harder the conversation is to restart because what ever you
say should be noteworthy in the first place. Observations can always be brought
up because it is something that is happening around you. Conversation has now
restarted and is flowing naturally. The person you are talking to might say
something about how he was at a certain club the other night, and this girl threw
a drink at this guy’s face. Then the guy was about to hit her and security threw
him out. This story can lead to you talking about a time when you were at that
same club recently and you saw Gerard Butler. Then, you might ask if they saw
a recent movie starring him, and just like that conversation has been steered from
an observation of a couple fighting to how much you are anticipating the sequel
to the movie 300.
With practice, you can master these abilities and make them all feel natural in
the process. Remember, keep your cool at all times and always be relevant. You
don’t want to just randomly say out of nowhere “I loved the movie 300.” You
want conversation to naturally lead itself there. At some point, with enough
practice, you will have this down so perfectly that you will direct conversation in
the direction you want without even noticing you are doing it! So go out and
practice!

The Group Approach
When approaching a group, there may be a person you want to meet, someone
you want to be introduced to for business purposes, or some other reason. There
are some rules you must follow. Initially, you cannot come off as too eager or
desperate. You need to come off as cool and a blessing to join the conversation.
As excited or interested as you may be, you need to remain calm and confident
in order to give this person the opportunity to feel the same way. So remain
confident. When you approach the people in the group, see if they are receptive.
Then make your presence pleasant. Do not overstep or annoy. Be sure to be
funny and make the conversation amongst the group exciting and engaging. With
time, this comes naturally.
If you have a window where you can make an introduction, use it. Every
situation is different. If you recognize one of the people in the group, you can
always find a way to have them casually start conversation with you, which will
lead to him or her introducing you to the group. The group approach is difficult
and can only be mastered if you put yourself out there. For a challenge,
whenever you see a group of the opposite sex of 5 or more, approach them and
try to start conversation. This will help you overcome approach-induced anxiety.
Since you are the only person of the opposite sex, they won’t immediately reject
you, especially because they are with their friends. They are in their comfort
zone. It takes serious confidence to approach a big group of the opposite sex, and
they will notice that. I’ve realized that with time and practice I have improved
my ability to approach groups.

In some cases, you approach a group because you only want to speak to one
person, whether it’s due to attraction or promotion. In other cases, it’s a group of
5 people of the opposite sex and you are with 4 of your friends. If this is the
case, pick out the leader, or who you think is the 1leader. Remain confident, keep
your posture straight, and articulate your words. The fact that you are
approaching a giant group alone shows that you are confident. When speaking to
the leader, the majority of the group isn’t listening to you, so they will judge you
based on your body language. Remember this for it may benefit you in the
future. If you get past the part where you get the leader’s good graces, then you
are in the clear. Now you have the ability to go to the rest of the group and start
simple conversation. Asking their names or where they are from. Small talk
central! As long as you have the right body language and speak clearly with
confidence to the people in the group, you’ll be fine!
When approaching a group of 5 or more and you want to ease your way in, I
have learned that approaching them all at once can work if they are all bored.
Although, another nice, slow, and subtle way to approach a group is to find the
person most bored in that group and just strike up conversation with him or her.
As long as you are polite and make your presence enjoyable, the other members
of the group will surely start conversation with you; they will give you a stare to
start a conversation with them; or they may try and eavesdrop to get into yours.
Just remember that the friends can be a benefit to you, but they can also become
an obstacle. Within just 5 seconds, an obstacle can influence their friend more
than you can in 5 minutes. If an obstacle doesn’t want you around their friend,
then you are in trouble. So remember to always befriend the target’s friend to
reduce the chances of an obstacle.
When approaching a group with someone you want to meet within that group,
introduce yourself to everyone first and save the actual person you want to speak
to for last. This way, you remember the name of the person you want to talk to
since you heard it last. When you do this, you win over the friends, and winning
over the friends is crucial to avoiding obstacles! If it is a bunch of girls, you best
believe they are going to voice their opinion about you to their friends. If it is a
group of guys, sometimes the Alphas get a little territorial, and they don’t want
you invading their space. Just make sure you make your time swift and pleasant.
If they look bored from the beginning you can use that as an opener. You then
have an opportunity to grace the group with your company, entertain them, and
then extract the initial target you had in mind.

Every interaction is important
You never know. You really never know. Before the Internet had its boom and
Myspace was even brewing, we relied on a little something called destiny. What
is your reason behind becoming more social? I believe and hope that it is for you
to have a choice in who is in your social circle. You are the average of the 5
people you hang out with most, and all you should want to do is surround
yourself with positive faces.
Remember, when you are out and about, be sure to trade contact information
with anyone you’ve interacted with that you genuinely enjoyed spending time
with. In the long run, this can benefit you when creating a social circle. Gather
up a couple groups of people that you genuinely like and invite them all over for
a gathering. Chances are the people that you genuinely like are talking to the
other people that you would get along with yourself; it is only going to benefit
you. The big advantage to this is being the common denominator. Whether it be
with men, women, or just people. Being the thing that everyone has in common
leads you to be a conversation piece. I can’t believe I am quoting this, but like
Lindsay Lohan said: “there is no such thing as bad press.” If you are having a
gathering with all your new friends and they are speaking to other people about
you, they are probably going to keep it positive, since you are the host. The last
thing people do is speak negative to other people they just met, especially about
someone they both know. Keep your presence pleasant and you can bet that the
conversation is only going to go in your favor!
 

Detach yourself from the outcome
If you care what people think about you, then you are destined to fail. In
reality, you will get rejected because there are a lot of people that you simply are
not compatible with. Some of them will want to end the conversation after the
first sentence while others will just never see you as anything more than a friend
or just don’t care to meet you at all. You must get over this fear of rejection, and
stop caring if you succeed or not. If you care, then you are going to do
everything in your power to not fail; which will consequently make you fail in
the end.
Follow the guidelines and tips you have learned from this book. Practice it
until it feels natural and effortless. Stop caring what people will think. Now just
do you. Some people are going to observe you, it may be for a second, a minute,
or the whole night. They will observe you and be fascinated by you. You can
potentially become the person who is the life of the party, the person who people
want to speak to, or just be the person they just want to listen to. The only way
you can become this person, though, is if you don’t care how they think about
you in the end. So you must detach yourself from the outcome and just let this
all come naturally. In the end, it will all be rewarding.
Ask yourself…

Have you knowingly used observations in conversation before?

What do I talk about? Oh look it’s so and so over there.

Do you approach or wait to be approached?

Do you say hello to your friends when you see them or wait for
them to say hi to you?


Do you have the ability to host a gathering?

Try throwing a party with new friends and old friends to switch
things up from the normal routine. Remember to emphasize it’s
nothing crazy so that if it ends up being great you exceeded
expectations.

Do you care what people think?

Have you sat around sad about a comment someone said?

1 Usually the leader tends to be the one everyone in the group is gravitating towards.
Chapter 4

The Don’ts!
This chapter is exactly what it sounds like: What not to do. Let’s start with no
immediate compliments. Never, and I mean never, when first meeting a person,
compliment him or her on their appearance. It’s fine to compliment them on their
choices and skills but not them. Compliment clothes, hairstyle, projects, and so
on. Complimenting appearances can hinder your chances causing this person to
think that you are superficial and are interested in only his or her appearance.
Believe me, if this person is attractive, they don’t need to hear it from you. There
are three stages of getting to know someone: the introduction, building rapport,
and establishing the relationship. In the beginning you are trying to sell him or
her on being attracted to you (building rapport and establishing the relationship
will be discussed later in the book). When getting to know your person of
interest, you want to sell them on your personality first. Once you have gotten
past that stage, if you really feel the urge to compliment him or her, by all
means, go for it. From experience, I’ve learned to save the compliments for later,
much later.
Now, it will come to a point where you will fold and have to compliment him
or her. When I was in Canada at the Much Music Awards (Canada’s MTV), I had
the privilege of being backstage. While at the bar, I met a beautiful up-and-
coming model. At this time, I was at the peak in production of my book. Every
topic of conversation I had I would try and reroute it to something useful I could
use in my book. This model gave me the simplest advice that I will now pass to
you: “When complimenting a woman do not compliment her eyes it’s too cliché.
Compliment something unexpected like her cheeks or clavicle.” I thought it was
bizzarre at first, but as I thought about it, it made sense. The compliment is
different and so are you. If you compliment the eyes, you are just like every
person out there, but you aren’t. You’re one of a kind!
 

A Timely Exit
You know those moments in conversation when every joke you say is
hilarious; every fact you spit out is extremely interesting; and that charm you
have is beyond irresistible? Well, I call that the peak of your contribution in that
conversation. No matter how interesting of a person you are you will eventually
run out of interesting things to say. This is the point of the conversation where
you leave! Maybe for an hour or even 15 minutes, but make sure you leave the
conversation on a high note. Say you have to make a phone call, or you are
meeting a friend, or even that it was nice to talk to them and that you will see
them again later in the night. Be sure to get their contact information to stay in
touch if you don’t have it already. I frequently do it even if those are the only
people whose company I enjoy at the time. I know that I can always come back
later. When you leave and the conversation goes south, since you left on a high
point, they will all think in the back of their head that you were responsible for
it. You can come back later, and you always have their contact information if
you want to reach out to them in the future. At this point, I always do a lap, even
if it is around the bar or nightclub. I may even go to my car just to make sure it’s
parked in the same spot. It is much better to leave at the highpoint of
conversation and to come back later than it is to talk yourself out. You would
rather leave on a high note because then later when the person you were
speaking to thinks about that conversation, you’re related to it positively. Who
knows, maybe, later this person might send you a text because they thought
about it.
 

Everyone Has Problems
Nobody’s life is perfect. Well, there are exceptions, but the majority of people
have a problem somewhere in their life. Everyone gets dealt their hand; it just
depends on how you play it. Where I am going with this is that everyone has
problems, but you don’t want to put your problems on someone else. Keep it to
yourself, confide in a best friend or a family member. Yes, when you are dating,
it is okay to tell your significant other the problems that are bothering you, but
not during the beginning stage of the relationship, which is also known as the
honeymoon stage. Do you really want to burden the person you are trying to
keep around with all your problems? Do you really think that is more likely to
keep him or her in the picture?
In the beginning keep your problems to yourself. Remember everyone has
problems just some are worse than others. Some are dumb, and some are just
straight up sad. The last thing you want to do when meeting someone is burden
him or her with yours. When you become comfortable enough with someone to
the point where you think they can share your misery, because-let’s face it-
misery loves company, then do it, but I encourage you not to drop problems until
the other person does. You can mention it in passing, but do not go into too much
detail. It shows that you mentioned it, and if they want to comfort you then they
will ask questions about it but never burden someone with your problems. It can
scare them away.
Instead, if someone gives an opportunity of opening up to you with his or her
problems, take it! It is a big bonding experience! The rapport you have with this
person will magnify by tenfold because you shared an intimate moment with
them. Be sure to follow up the next day or near future. Also, it is crucial for them
to understand and feel that they can confide in you without scaring you away.
Just make sure you don’t let them become too comfortable because you will go
from a friend to a therapist, and every breathing moment you share with this
person will end up being depressing! You are a friend. You are supposed to make
them feel better, so if the time ever comes that you think it’s becoming too much
of a burden on yourself, force an activity! It will get their mind off it, and if done
properly, you can turn the day around from one that started sadly to one that
ended positively, which will forever make that person remember you for the
great person you are!

Me VS We
You know those people that are all about me, me, and me? Every word out of
their mouth is always about themselves… I hate those people. They need to read
this book! I mean, it’s cool to talk about yourself every now and then but give it
a break you are with yourself all the time! You are your best friend and it only
makes sense to talk about your best friend, but when the only thing you talk
about is yourself, you’re obsessed and no one likes a creep.
The topic of conversation people love talking about most is themselves.
Mostly because that is the topic they have the most knowledge in. So try to avoid
talking about yourself unless you are telling a funny story in first person. Just put
thought into what the actual topic you are talking about is. If it is about yourself,
like a sport you played, when you’re done talking, ask them if they played any
sports. Encourage people to talk about themselves and be genuinely interested in
what they are saying.
When speaking to someone, be sure to use US and WE. It gives the
impression you two (or more) are a team. It is the subtle things that stick to a
person. A combination of these subtle alterations and breaking the touch barrier
can be crucial in the advances of one’s relationship. You’d be surprised how far a
sentence used properly with the word US in it and a well-timed arm around the
shoulder can go for you. Just make sure that arm around the shoulder doesn’t
stay there for too long because they may start to feel your body weight as an
annoyance.
Ask yourself…

What compliment do you usually give to someone attractive?

You’re hot. You’re beautiful. You’re pretty. You’re killing it. Which
one suits you?

Do you usually see yourself ending conversation first?

Are you the type that drags conversation out as long as possible
or asks to be excused to go to the bathroom even if you don’t have
to go?

Do you easily feel comfortable with someone to the point where you can
talk personal matters?

Do you open up easily? Try waiting until they open up first.

Do you talk about yourself a lot?

Keep track how often you bring yourself up in conversation.

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want, no one else.”
-Les Brown
Chapter 5

Timing
Timing is everything
Whenever you are out and run into someone from the past who is with
someone that catches your interest, when introduced, you must be ready to attack
because you have a little window of time to leave a first impression. So, once
you are introduced to the person of interest, by the friend or acquaintance, you
should immediately start trying to build rapport. The ice has been broken by the
introduction, so the window you are given needs to be used effectively. If you
build enough rapport, next time you can approach with a simple greeting, but if
you don’t build enough, then next time you see them you better have an amazing
opener.
The best icebreaker you can have is an introduction by a mutual friend.
Although, if you don’t capitalize on that moment, then the impression the person
of interest has is that your friendship isn’t all that great. So always be natural
when introduced to someone. The best thing you can talk about is the mutual
friend. A funny story of how you two met, or maybe something you both
experienced can work in your favor. Whenever I am introduced to someone, I
always make it seem as if the person who introduced me and I are better friends
than we actually are. They have no idea and won’t challenge it because, after all,
the person did introduce me.
Seize the moment. Always get it done on the first chance because you
never know when you might get a second one. Timing is everything, so take
advantage of your opportunities. You need to put yourself out there to the point
where all this becomes second nature. With the right time and practice you will
be able to walk through introductions effortlessly.
 

10-Minute Rule
.  Don’t be too eager. When going back and forth through text
messages, it can be frustrating when you are quick to respond and the person you
are speaking to is taking his or her sweet time. You feel as if you are in the
conversation more than he or she is. That is when you turn to the 10-minute rule.
Not 10-minutes exactly, but if you get a text or a message just wait a while to
respond. It takes away the idea that you are glued to your phone waiting on him
or her to respond. The fear of the unknown can be a very powerful thing. People
can’t stand what they don’t know. This section is meant for those of you who are
reading that are single. I do not advise you doing this to a significant other for
that person may or may not break up with you. The power of the unknown can
destroy a relationship. It is a whole different situation when you are dating.
When you’re single, you don’t have to tell someone about every breath you take
or move you make. The longer you take to respond the more he or she leaves
their imagination to think about what you are doing.

5 Second Rule
I know what you are thinking, and no, I’m not going to go into food and
how it shouldn’t go to waste. For those of you who don’t know what the 5-
second rule is, I will explain. If you drop something edible on the floor, you have
5 seconds to pick it up before it collects too many germs. That has nothing to do
with being Socially Accepted although being social does have a 5-second rule.
The 5-second rule is a rule that will better you as a person and make you
improve your ability to think on your toes.
The 5-second rule is when you are first showing up to a gathering and
you see someone you want to speak to, the second you both acknowledge each
other with eye contact, immediately approach him or her then start conversation.
What this does is it trains you to have conversation on the fly. At first it is going
to be difficult. You might be a little off, but with time and experience you can
change this to your advantage. You will eventually learn to always be in your
comfort zone. If you haven’t found something to start conversation with by the
time you finished this book you should probably read it again.
 

Count to 3
Do you get nervous easily? How many times have you hesitated on going
in for that first kiss or asking that person on a date? This trick I actually picked
up from a movie, and when they said it I thought it was a genius idea. When
doing anything that causes hesitation like asking someone out on a date, asking
an embarrassing question, going in for the first kiss, or even confronting
someone, before you take that initial step to doing it, just count to 3. Once you
count to 3, whatever it is that you are hesitant about doing, just do it. So if it’s
the first kiss that you are so nervous about, take a deep breath, count to 3, and go
for it! I’m not saying you won’t get rejected if you do this, but you will give
enough time for suspense to build up for whatever you are doing. Say it out loud
or in your head, but remember, if you say it out loud, the people that hear you
might think you’re a little bizarre, but who knows? It can probably work in your
favor.

Save it for next time
Have you noticed when you meet someone for the first time, and then
after that you run into him or her everywhere? Or when you see that guy or girl
that catches your eye, and when you log into Facebook that night you see he or
she is a suggested friend? Ever wonder how and why destiny plays these games
with you? Sorry to break it to you, but it isn’t destiny. You possibly have seen
that person a bunch of times before, but you never let your brain register them.
Now that you have been introduced or he/she has left an impression on you, the
next time you see them you remember them. Here’s little trick I have developed.
Initiate conversation, but make it seem as if you have known that person all
along. Do not give that person the opportunity to inform you that he/she doesn’t
remember you. Make your experience with each other swift and pleasant. If you
don’t make it swift, then a bit into the conversation you can admit to them that
you don’t know them, and you did that to break the ice, which clearly worked
because you are talking to the person now. This can possibly get you brownie
points; it has for me. If you do make it swift, you just tell them you have to run;
it was nice seeing him or her; you two should do lunch sometime; and leave
quickly. The next time you see this person they are most likely going to say hello
to you, and after that you are golden. You have just become acquainted with
them and have the home court advantage. They are coming to you, and now you
have something comical to say that you both can relate to, since you have yet to
tell him or her you originally pretended to know them to break the ice.
 

Life is long
Who ever said life is short is so full of shit. Life is long, very long. Always
keep this in mind when working on a target. You may think damn they’re gone,
they’re going back to school, summer is over, they’re moving, or whatever it
may be, but in reality you will see them again. Unfortunately, you may not see
them for a while. The positive thing about this obstacle is that whenever you do
run into each other it will be that much better. Also, chances are that this person
is more inclined to grab lunch or dinner with you to catch up, since it’s been so
long.
Thanks to Social Media and cell phones, we never really say goodbye, only
see you later. If you really did leave an impression on him or her, then your paths
will cross again. Most people have a routine of things. Not many are
spontaneous, so you can usually figure out where these people will be on certain
days of the week. I am not saying for you to go stalk them, but what I am saying
is to use the tools available to you (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, etc.)
to see where their usual hang out spot is, and make it one of yours every now
and then. If you built a small relationship with this person, small talk and small
interactions with them will build onto your relationship. Then, at some point of
the night when he or she is bored, which will happen no matter how much fun
you’re having, he or she will come to you and when they do, you know that you
are progressing.
 

Take your time
An advantage that we have over the generation before us is that we no longer
have to wait for destiny. With cell phones, texting, Twitter, Facebook, iChat,
AIM, Skype, and so on we will never lose contact with anyone. Usually, when it
comes to a girl that I think is attractive, I know it's going to take more than that
night to win her over. I make sure that I ask for her name as shown on Facebook
(always try to get the number though). Then I wait 2-3 days, preferably a
weekday so it doesn't look like I was on Facebook during the weekend, to add
her. Slowly but surely with likes on her statuses and random Facebook chat
messages, I become acquainted. Then, whenever the time feels right, like after a
lengthy conversation, you make sure to end it first with a “I got to head out text
me <insert number here>.” Always leave them wanting more, never the other
way around. Now they have texted you their name and opened up the gates to
conversation.
Take your time responding to messages. Sign off half way through
conversation and pick it up later so it seems as if you didn't forget but you had
something to do. When texting someone, make sure you take your time to
respond to his or her messages. If this is truly someone you see yourself with and
you don't want to mess it up, take your time with responses and if you can have
them proofread by a close friend. Remember, when in doubt; be funny. Laughter
is the best form of seduction. Laughter is the fastest way to someone’s heart. If
you make them smile, you make them happy Let’s face it at the end of the road
we call life, the only real thing we'll have left besides our family and friends will
be the memories of being happy and those of whom we shared them with.
Ask yourself…

Do you often second-guess yourself before approaching someone?

What should I say? What should I do?

Is there a trendy spot you know a bunch of people going to?

Have you not checked it out yet? What are you waiting for?

What’s your tone like?

Serious? Comical? Sarcastic? Keep it unique.

Chapter 6

Leaving an Impression
Leave them better than you found them
In life, you get out of it what you put in but there are some who take way too
much. Teach them the ways of success. Some girls I have dated in the past were
wrecks going through family issues, deaths, money problems, and more; yet I
would find them out and about at the local party every week. Working in the
clubs, I got to know them and like them, until I realized that they were going out
every week to avoid the issue at hand: their life was a mess. My friends always
told me that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, and yet I didn’t care
because I genuinely liked these girls.
There was one girl, I helped her when she needed comfort, and I even
helped her pay bills a couple times. The most important thing I did for her was
give her guidance. She was a “model,” and I formed a business plan for her;
website, business cards, bookings, and so on. My first passion in life is to
become a life coach. I see what needs to be done for myself or any person in
their current situation. I helped her out tremendously until the day where it
wasn’t the same anymore. I try not to take more than what I give, and in this
situation I know I didn’t. I felt as if being a part of this girl’s life changed it for
the better.
Now let’s be honest, she and I are still friends. You think that if she was out
and someone started talking bad about me she would join them or defend me? It
has happened a couple times before and she stood up for me every time. The
point that I am getting at is that, when you meet someone, his or her opinion of
you is very neutral, nothing bad nothing good. When you leave them, you should
always leave them better than you found them. Remember to always end things
on good terms because the last thing you need out there is another enemy.
Friends get you farther in life.
 

Cool Factor
What is being cool? Is it a haircut? Confidence? A smile? I’m honestly not
sure, but when I was at the peak of my “dorkiness” I had a bad haircut, braces,
and glasses. It’s crazy how now that I have dreadlocks, no braces, and LASIK
people think differently of me. It’s because people are shallow and judge a book
by its cover. As wrong as it is people still do it. So this is my advice before you
even read the next chapter. This may not apply to everyone but if it does for you,
do it!
1. Find someone you think is attractive or can be seen as a role model and
replicate his or her haircut (try to avoid Skrillex and Miley Cyrus)
2. Get a tan
3. Get contact Lenses
4. Go to the Gym
5. Whiten your teeth
6. Get a manicure & pedicure
7. Get GQ Magazine
a. The point of getting this magazine, which you will see later in this book, is
to replicate the outfits seen within. In GQ all the outfits there are in-style and
will continue to be for at least a year to come. If you can replicate it using
unknown brands, you gain the ability to be fashionable, which goes a long way.
8. Practice your posture
9. If you have facial hair keep it well groomed 

How to be remembered
It’s not easy to work a crowd, but with time and practice men and women both
can learn how to control the room. A common misconception is that arriving
“fashionably late” is a means of being remembered. Showing up “fashionably
late” only works if you’re Kanye because the party doesn’t start until he walks
into the building. If you are trying to build your people skills, which by reading
this book I believe you have taken the first step, you need to stop listening to
what these “cool people” are saying. Get to the event on time! The truth is
actually the earlier the better. If it is a house party or any business event, this
gives you more opportunities to mingle with the attendees before the party starts
picking up. This especially gives you the chance to greet and speak to the host
before he or she needs to run around and start doing their host duties. By getting
there early, you get situated and can grow as the event progresses. You are more
aware of your surroundings than the people showing up 2 hours later. Also, you
can start greeting people as they come in, which provides a natural way of
breaking the ice with any and all persons of interest.
Arriving early gives you the opportunity to have genuine conversations with
people that you can’t have later on as the party/event progresses. This gives you
the opportunity to meet new people. The best thing you can be is the common
denominator. By that I mean when you meet new people, introduce them to the
people you either know at the party or the people you have just met. When they
see that you are introducing them to people, they will do the same for you, which
will go on and on. This is a great way to meet new people, as well as to give the
illusion that you are the most popular person in the room.
When it comes down to drinking, my suggestion is to take it easy. If you want
to be remembered well cut back on your typical amount of alcohol consumption.
Being more sober will only benefit you in the long run. Believe me, it’s better to
be more sober than more drunk! If you offer someone alcohol and they refuse it,
ask them one more time. If they say no, do not force it on them; it makes you
seem like an alcoholic. The best way to build a bond with someone is by
laughing with them, drinking with them, and creating memories with them. So if
you are getting drunk with a potential client, keep it going and make sure that
they remain more drunk than you!
Throughout the night something unique is bound to happen where you will be
able to later identify that night with that occurrence. For example, remember that
night we left the club and we saw the nun in the elevator? My friends that were
with me that night know exactly which one I am talking about! Use this to
reference back to the night you hung out with a potential client, but do not make
it the only point of conversation by referring back to the one good time you had
with each other. It is always nice to bring up good memories, but do not make it
the only memory you two share. If at some point you can create an inside joke
that both parties find comical, this will be a game changer! Inside jokes solidify
a friendship. Think about your best friend. How many inside jokes do you have
with him or her? Imagine if you had that many with a potential business partner
or client. How much more would they love you or how much closer would you
be to getting your next promotion?
At the end of the day, make your presence known and let people do the
talking! It is easier to give feedback to something than to come up with
something on the spot. Genuinely listen and take interest in what people are
saying, and in the end they will repay you with friendship. Just don’t forget to
stay in contact with them! At a party, try and get the contact information of
everyone you interacted with. You can ask for their phone number, email (if it is
business related), or even Facebook and Instagram if you want to keep it casual.
You wouldn’t believe how many times I went home with a bunch of numbers I
never thought I would call to get a follow up text message or phone call the next
day by them. Those random moments are the ones that actually have led me to
new friends and new social circles!

One up the Competition
It’s better to be over prepared than under prepared. The other day I went to an
event on the beach called Floatopia. On this day it is where everyone goes on
South Beach with their floats and make a mock island of combined floaties,
rafts, and matresses. I have always lived with the mentality you either go big or
go home, so I always over indulge. Over prepared would be an understatement. I
came with 4 massive floats that can hold 5 people each, and then I tied them all
together to make a float yacht of sorts. I went with enough alcohol to kill a small
village, in the form of shot bottles so that I could pass them out at my discretion.
Also, I brought a waterproof speaker system to supply the float island with
music, and since it was expected to rain I brought a tent that covered all 4 of the
floats. You best believe that I was the center of all the action. Since it was my
float, I had the option of letting whomever I wanted on my float. I felt like a God
amongst boys. I was the center of attention. Not because I was cool but because
everyone knew that hanging out with me would maximize the likelihood that his
or her day was going to be spectacular.
This “game” that we all play to be Socially Accepted is a game you can’t turn
off unless you are home or with someone you truly trust; it may be a friend or a
family member. When meeting new people you need to be on top of this game
and the parts that make it work. It’s better to stand out than to fit in. In this case
you are shooting out smoke signals and fireworks at the same damn time. People
love it; they see you and see you are the life of the party. At venues that host a
fun event, parties and such, if you have a one up on the competition, there is no
real competition because you will be coaching and orchestrating those around
you. You better believe guys and girls will both want to flock to you. You might
not always be cool, but in that moment there isn’t anybody more Socially
Accepted.
If you are truly socially awkward I don’t think you should depend on drinking
alcohol to change that. This was just an example that you can relate too and not
an encouragement to go drink alcohol or do drugs. Remember to perfect your
craft sober.
 

Rep your city
This part is easy. Rep where you’re from. Nobody wants to hear about how
you hate your hometown and you how wish you could change it. Quit being a
Negative Nancy and be proud of your birthplace. Unfortunately, we can’t pick
where we were born, but we do have the luxury to choose where we live. If you
are born in the middle of the United States and hate it, you still have the choice
to move to the closest major city. There’s no place like home, so don’t hate
where you are from. There is nothing positive about talking negative about your
roots.

Remember, you were born and raised there so if you talk negative about this
place then what do you think the person you are talking to is going to think about
the people who live there? How can a place be so awful and raise someone so
cool? No, it’s not possible. On the other hand, if you talk about your roots with
pride and passion, the person you are talking to may want to visit it sometime!
No matter where you are from, there is definitely something positive about it.
Yes, it’s a lot easier for someone like me who was born in the greatest city of the
world, 1Miami, but you should always be proud of where you come from.
 

Playing Hard to Get

They say playing hard to get is the best strategy that a man or woman can use
to get a person of interest, but that only works if you look like Ashton Kutcher or
Angelina Jolie. If your looks don’t get people to turn completely around to get a
second glimpse of you, then that strategy won’t work. The whole idea of playing
hard to get is that you want to leave the impression that there is some sort of
challenge; at any time, that person can lose you, so they should keep putting an
effort to work for you and impress you every day. Make them want you more but
there is a method to all this madness.
Playing hard to get is not saying hello when you first see someone or
rescheduling plans for no reason. This works for some people, but it’s usually
the people that are way better looking. Guys, watch when you do this because
this can go against you in a very bad way if used improperly. The target can
interpret it as rude and lose interest quickly. Most women play the hard to get
game, but that is fine because guys are the ones who are supposed to chase.
Now, if two people play hard to get, that is just going to get both parties nowhere
fast.
 

How to know you’re in the clear
We have all been in those situations where you think everything is going
perfect and it’s too good to be true. Well with extensive research from personal
experience, I realized that there are some common signs of interest. The
breaking of the touch barrier is extremely important. If they are touching you
more than you are touching them, chances are they are into you and/or
comfortable with you. The sense of touch in conversation is usually controlled
by your subconscious unless you are giving direct attention to it. If you reach
across the table for a drink or an ashtray and the person you are interacting with
doesn’t move back, then this person’s body signs are saying they are comfortable
with you, so don’t blow it! Make sure that, when they touch you, you break your
touch with them in the equivalent place. Do not try and play chicken with them;
let them “up the ante.” For all you know that touch was by accident. If it was on
purpose, believe me, you’ll know!
The second compliments start coming your way they are clearly into you. This
works with both men and women. I have had guys sit next to me saying you’re
so funny, you’re so cool, and repeat generic compliments as if they were trying
to get into bed with me. My experience with these people is that it devalues
them. Stay away from compliments, but don’t be afraid to receive them happily
while remaining humble. Women are used to receiving compliments. If they are
complimenting you, chances are they are into you. In a club or a place with loud
music, typically a party, if you are interacting with someone and they keep
asking you to repeat yourself, chances are that they are really into the
conversation and actually care for what you have to say. This would be a great
opportunity to take them to a quiet part of the party to build some rapport on a
greater scale.
When it comes to women, the laugh is the ultimate sign of enjoyment,
especially when they disagree with you and laugh. It’s something I would like to
call flirtatious sarcasm. If you say something that is unbelievable and a regular
person would say to you, “no you’re lying”, but instead you hear a “yeah right,
like I believe that” with a laugh, they are clearly into you because instead of
shooting you down they idolize you to the point that they even find pleasure in
an unbelievable statement. Getting laughs at jokes, especially the cheesy ones
that sound like a high school substitute teacher would say, you my friend are in
the clear! Unless they are drunk, maybe drunk off you.
Whenever someone I am speaking to goes away to the bathroom or says hello
to a friend, I use that opportunity to meet new people or find other means of
entertainment besides sitting around. Now if I find the opportunity to leave for
the bathroom or say hello to someone and the person I was talking to before is at
the same spot waiting for me to come back, then I am most likely in the clear.
Usually when out at a club or bar, I use the bathroom as an excuse to get out
of the current situation and go somewhere else. So if someone leaves the
conversation to go to the bathroom and returns once they have finished, then I’m
sure that they were enjoying my company. Even when you part ways, always try
to initiate the goodbye so it looks like you’re leaving them and not them leaving
you. If they follow up with a “where are you going?” chances are they are
looking for an invite. Even though they might not know you well enough to
leave with you or they don’t want to ditch the people they came with and will
end up saying no, this is just a hint that in the future there may be something
between the two you.
Ask yourself…

Have you ever done anything purposely bad or spiteful towards someone?

Lead them on? Ignore them? Be rude to them in public?

What time do you usually arrive and leave a party?

Is it early or late? If late what are you doing that holds you up?

When the night’s over do you feel you left an impression on the overall
experience?

Were you the life of the party? Did you do anything noteworthy?
What was your proudest moment that night?


Are you oblivious to success?

Can you tell when someone’s into you?

1 305 to my city. I get it I get it.
PART 2

The Art of Interaction

Chapter 7

Initial Contact
Peacocking
It’s either you fit in or you stand out, and I’d much rather stand out. A
technique, which has in recent years developed a rising popularity, is called
peacocking. Similar to a peacock’s wings, the technique is to have something
physical that appeals to the public more than your competitors. I personally have
dreadlocks, which is my form of peacocking.
My brother on the other hand doesn’t have something physical about him that
differentiates him, besides his beard I guess. My brother is resourceful. When
going to a party he would bring cut up lemon Jell-O shots to pass out to
everyone. It shows that he is a good time and makes him stand out. This
gimmick can be used to break the ice or be used as a conversation topic, but
most importantly it is a way to make you easily remembered. Also, if someone
forgets your name, they can always ask who was the guy that had the lemon Jell-
O shots?
If you ever saw the movie with Zach Efron, 17 Again, there is a character in
that movie that takes Peacocking to another level. He wears ridiculous outfits,
cowboy boots, and hats to catch this girl’s attention. I highly suggest you don’t
do that. The trick to peacocking is making it seem natural and subtle. You may
have a nice handkerchief in your suit pocket, or you could have colorful sneakers
with your solid color outfit. Don’t overdo it because at the end of the day less is
more.
The Head Nod
Sometimes keeping it cool is the best thing you can do. I know you would
love to make best friends with that person of interest, but sometimes the best
solution is to just wait. If you act like they’re too important, they’ll treat you like
you’re not important. When it comes to this situation, just keep the conversation
light and casual, do your thing, and wait for the right moment to strike.
I always recommend greeting someone when you have the opportunity, but
sometimes you can’t find a good moment. This is when the head nod comes into
place. Make eye contact, wait for them to acknowledge you, nod your head, and
then do your thing. The good thing about the head nod is it’s a greeting in itself,
and if there comes a point where the opportunity arises, you are able to greet
them again later. At this point you can start conversation. Remember to be
yourself and be cool. Never seem over eager to see someone for it puts you in a
position of lesser value, which can lead to the person of interest feeling as if you
were a groupie. You’ll never find a superstar trying to befriend a groupie unless
they are infatuated with their looks. So just relax for when the time is right;
you’ll do just fine.
Breaking the ice
Some people got it while some people don’t, but luckily for those that don’t
there are tips and tricks you can use to get you in with the person you want to
talk to:
You look exactly like
Go up to someone and tell him or her they look exactly like someone famous.
If they agree or have heard it before, they can laugh about it and set up an
introduction. Be sure not to insult them and say they look like an ugly celebrity.
My friend isn’t from here
Using a friend that isn’t from here is a great way to guilt people into
conversing with you. They feel bad because they don’t want to leave a bad
impression on your friend while you are just trying to show him or her a good
time, so they will usually be polite and converse. When they do converse with
you give them a reason to stay.
What’s your routine?
This one takes practice. Most people that aren’t knew to a city have an idea
where they can go which every day of the week and they’ll run into a good
amount of people they know. Use this to start conversation. Ask the person you
just met what is their routine or where they would go and run into people they
know.
Horoscope
You can always go up to someone and say, “my horoscope” -or a fortune
cookie- “said I needed to be more social so this is me working on it.” Giving a
reason, even if it seems dumb, can go a long way.
The High 5
Give a high five the next time you see him or her, they remember the friendly
move and it is an easy way to start conversation.
The fake boyfriend
See a girl in trouble? Go up to her while pretending to be her boyfriend. If
used properly, you will come off as a modern day superhero. Be sure to do it
casually and cool. This way you can leave an incredible impression. This can
also work with women acting as a fake girlfriend.
Be blunt
Sometimes going up to someone and being honest works: “I was trying to
figure out an icebreaker but was wasting too much of my time. My name is Joe.
What’s yours? Can I join you?”
Observations
People are sometimes bored and wander their eyes. Use that as an opportunity
to comment on something they are staring at.
Buy them a drink

I don’t usually do this, but for some people it works. Have the waiter send him
or her another round of whatever they are having. If you want to be a bit more
aggressive, you can send them your favorite drink, but you had better hope they
like it. If you have the waiter bring them a drink take your time, on your way out
stop by the table, and introduce yourself.1
Just introduce
Sometimes people overthink everything and the best thing at the time is a
simple introduction.
Make them smile
If there is anything you can say or do that can make them smile that is the best
icebreaker.
Ask an open-ended question
Doing so can lead to the beginning of a conversation. Make sure you don’t
seem too random or that the question doesn’t come off as too much of a reach.
Have a friend
From experience whenever you have a friend make a fool of him-or herself
and you follow up by being humble, people are very receptive. It’s a nice set up
because when your friend leaves you can make fun of him or her in a playful
way. Slowly introduce yourself, get to know each other, and if anything, use
your friend as a funny topic of conversation.
Overhearing
This only works if you are not eavesdropping. You have to listen to them, but
only because they are speaking loud and you are in the area. Give a witty
comment or great input into the conversation, but be sure to apologize for
intruding. Mind your own business and if your input was great you will soon see
yourself getting invited back to the conversation.
Mutual Friend
If you have a friend that knows the person you want to meet, just have them
introduce the two of you. If your friend knows anything about introductions,
they will talk you up and leave you be!
The Cigarette
I know it’s not the typical way you want to meet someone, but you will be
surprised how many relationships and friendships I have that started by giving
someone a cigarette. It is a terrible habit, but the truth is that the conversation
you can have while smoking a cigarette with someone is one of the best you can
have in building rapport, even if it is just the five minutes it took you to smoke
it. 
Game Plan
When approaching someone make sure you have a game plan to execute, at
least for the opening line and the conversation immediately after that. If
executed properly the conversation, with practice, after that will flow in its
natural course. When the conversation reaches a point where you are talking
about the weather and then reaches a silence, the game plan has failed. I usually
start off with a general topic and move on from there. I used to not be able to do
this but now that I have practiced and practiced over again I can say I am pretty
experienced. Now when it reaches the point of being quiet, I would just say
something like “so what did you do last night” or “do you have any plans for the
weekend?” As long as you let conversation flow naturally you will soon master
the way of guiding it to your favor.
Something I do when I reach the point of silence, depending who the person is
because you can’t do it with everyone, is to ask them what they did after we
spoke last night? At this point he or she would say that they didn’t see me. I
would then make a joke like “no way I was talking to that person all night
thinking it was you! I don’t even think they know me. They just sat there quiet
listening to all my stories!” As I say this I laugh and break the touch barrier with
a pat on the back or my hand on their shoulder.
With practice you will learn, and eventually master, your go to pieces. This
one is mine. You can use it, but as you near the completion of this book and
apply it you will eventually come up with your own. The best thing you can do
is refer back to the times you had conversations and remember those. That way
when opportunity comes up in conversation, you can use your own techniques. If
you created it and have done it before, it will seem more natural. 
Wingman Team
I have been asked tons of times before who is my wingman? The truth is
throughout the stages of my life it changes. Don’t get me wrong; I do have that
go-to guy that I hit up when I need a mission to be accomplished, but in my
years of experience I have learned that the wingteam is the perfect partner in
crime. Everybody has a couple that they are friends with. Whether they speak to
the guy more or the girl in the relationship doesn’t matter because they are
friends with both of them. I, being a lone wolf, tend to go out with couples
because it puts me in the perfect situation. It’s obvious having a girl around for a
guy makes you less threatening to approach because there is a female presence
there with you, hence why a woman makes the best wingman.
They can easily go out and grab the prey, make happy with them, then
introduce you as the “best friend.” That is a great option to have, but what if you
need a guy to wingman just long enough for you to make good with the target?
That’s why going out with a couple is great because you have a man and a
woman at your disposal. Then when you actually get the girl, she has a guy and a
girl to interact with who will talk great about you. Then this person won’t feel
awkward going home with you since there is another couple to keep you
company.
Warning: Going out with a couple is a great idea for some. You might be part
of the few or the majority that continues to go home alone with the couple and
play third wheel all night. Remember, put yourself in situations you don’t
usually see yourself in. Never say no to adventure. If there comes a point where
you have to leave the couple, do it! Those are the nights we live for, and believe
me, it will usually end up at the very least a great story. Don’t hesitate to put
yourself into awkward situations so you can practice handling them. Eventually,
those situations will become more natural, and you will no longer feel awkward.
Guilt Trip Greeting
The guilt trip greeting is a really good way to get someone to actually come
say hello to you and make him or her feel bad about it. Have you ever had those
people you say hello to all the time. Well I picked this up from a friend when
someone said hello to me. We were outside of a club and I recognized one of the
security guards. He went in between my friend and I, said hello to me, and did
not acknowledge my friend. My friend at this point did the first guilt trip
greeting I’ve ever been consciously aware of. He tapped him on the back and
goes “Oh it’s like that; alright, I see. Don’t worry. Just forget about me.” He was
testing the security guard for not saying hello to him, but in a tone that was
playful and inconsequential.
What this does is it makes the person you are trying to say hello to feel bad
that they did not acknowledge you. After all, this is a set up for the next time the
person sees you. They will say hello just to make up for not saying hi the first
time. This works especially well when the person purposely doesn’t say hello to
you. Well, at least when this person purposely doesn’t say hi to you, but not
because that person is mad at you. If that person is mad at you, this may not
work every time, but it can definitely help get you two to speak about the issue
at hand. Try this next time someone you know doesn’t say hello to you, and
watch him or her never ignore you again! Remember to keep the tone as playful
and sarcastic as possible!
Ask yourself…

Do you have something about you that stands out?

Is it subtle? Or ridiculous?

Do you have the cool factor?

Do you wear glasses? Work out? Dress nice? Good hair?

What is your go to icebreaker?

Is it cheesy? Cliché? Does it work?



Who’s your wingman/woman?

Have you gone out with a couple before? Are you comfortable
being a third wheel?

1 I know a lot of women out there that will not accept a drink from a man just because they don’t know
where it comes from. If they do they will usually have to see the bartender pour it.
Chapter 8

Building Rapport
How to touch a person
Passion and attraction are two very important things in a relationship. Some
people are naturally caring and touching to the point where the passion and
attraction are there and they don’t have to work for it. Other people, probably
like yourself, need to work on it. Some people, upon meeting someone new, try
so hard to pass that point where they can go from a friend to a lover, that they
can never seem to make it happen. Do you ever wonder why? It’s because the
connection between both parties lacks the passion or sexual arousal to make you
jump to that point.
Take animals for example. From what we have seen on animal shows, the zoo,
or wild animals, they don’t court each other with conversation. They court each
other by the sense of touch. By rubbing, touching, holding, and hugging, they
create physical attraction, which we call foreplay. We humans are not that
different from animals. After all, we are animals. Most of us get too caught up in
conversation though, and we forget about the touch barrier. You need to break it
as soon as possible.
Studies have shown that handholding and face touching express intimacy,
which can lead to building rapport. Touch (also known as Kino, short for
kinesthetic) is crucial for it can also build trust amongst two people. For
example, handshaking expresses receptivity and trust. Touching increases desire
between two people, especially when used with the combination of eye contact.
It can increase someone’s romantic perspective of you. So any opportunity when
you are walking through a crowd with a person you desire who is holding your
hand and leading you, you should not let go until they initiate it because
subconsciously it is making that person more comfortable with you.
When meeting someone new or trying to create a spark you never had with
someone you already know, the main thing to be concerned with is touching
while not making them feel uncomfortable. When greeting someone, give him or
her a hug. When at dinner, be sure to sit beside them and have your bodies touch
with your legs, foot, or even shoulders. When someone says something funny,
give him or her a high five or pat on the back. If it is someone of the opposite
sex, give them a gentle high five and hold it there then let your fingers slide off
each other slowly. When you are speaking to someone and trying to grab their
attention, try to touch their hand to initiate contact between them. If you are
guiding someone, put your hand on his or her lower back and guide him or her
through the crowd with you. If you’re trying to cause a spark between someone
you already know, it may be a little easier than you think. Mostly because it
won’t be nearly as awkward as if you just met someone and you keep touching
them. With someone you know, you have the ability to touch him or her without
the other person making a big deal out of it because that person has known you
for a while. Find any opportunity to touch them from a hug, to a handhold to
move them to another direction or introduce them to someone, to even a laugh
and slight touch behind the elbows. My favorite spot is behind the elbow-right
above where the elbow and triceps meet – it’s crucial. It is a somewhat sensitive
spot, and it doesn’t imply anything sexual, It actually doesn’t imply anything at
all, but it is doing something very important: breaking the touch barrier.
The power of touch is underestimated for it can be very influential. For
example when dealing with a family member or lover if you are asking them to
do something for you, maybe make you a sandwich or take out the trash, if you
ask them in a soft voice and break the touch barrier, like a soft touch to the upper
arm, they are more likely to respond in your favor. Even when asking them a
question where they would usually respond “I don’t care whatever you want”
like asking them where they want to eat. If you do it by breaking the touch
barrier they are more likely to give you an answer to your question.
Touching can lead to many things from attraction to persuasion. Studies have
shown that touching has led to bigger tips. Store greeters who touch customers
who walk into the store actually influences the customers into staying longer,
and even people responding to a request of yours will respond positively.
Touching can be very influential to someone but you’re not always in a position
where you can break the touch barrier. When you are dealing with someone in a
position of power like a boss or an officer of the law it’s not always that easy to
break the touch barrier but if you can you are increasing your chances of getting
that day off or getting off that ticket for speeding!
The following is a 4-step process on touching:

1. Start with social touching- 1intro and outro are most important so make sure
to capitalize on it because you only have that opportunity once every visit. A
slight touch to the hand when speaking about something that involves emotion,
like a sad story or a happy moment, will go a long way. Also, you can give a
touch on the shoulder to grab their attention or to introduce them to someone
else.
2. Go on to friendly touching- now that you have passed being acquaintances
and you are friends, you two are more comfortable, and you can get away with a
lot more. Including having your arm around them if they are sitting next to you
(just above their shoulders on their chair.) You can give them a hug or play
footsy under the table. Also don’t forget touching shoulders when sitting next to
them!
3. Bring in Intimate touch- now that you are passed the friendly stage, you can
bring in the intimate touch! Hold hugs for longer, brush their hair out of their
face or behind their ear and move in to tell them a secret in a low voice up close.
You can throw your arm around them, and without worry they will be cool with
it. Just make sure you don’t put your dead weight on them because it can get
annoying!
4. Find a place for sexual touch- well to point out the obvious, you must not
do this in a public place, at least not the first time. This step requires time and
privacy. When the time is right, though, the possibilities are endless. Make the
kiss more passionate; use more tongue, but not too much. When holding them,
touch closer to the sensitive places that you wouldn’t be able to touch in public
from the top of the back to the rear down to the thigh. When you do this right,
take it from there to foreplay, which will then lead to sex.
Touching, if introduced properly and repetitively, will then become something
natural, which will lead to more passion and cooperation between both of you.
You will leave the person more satisfied and agreeable. Sex will get better!
Touching and cuddling has been proved to release oxytocin. Also a little touch
here and there may get your friend or partner to accept your request! So don’t
you ever forget to touch them and then ask your favor.
There are people you love touching you, and there are people you can’t stand.
The example I am going to give is when I’m with my guy friends. Most recently,
it was at a music festival. When the song drops at the good part of the song, they
put their arm around my shoulder. I am completely cool with that, but after the
song is over they keep their arm around me. I know it’s only good intentions, but
I’ve had this conversation with multiple people a million times and some people
just don’t like it. I don’t make it a big deal because they are truly doing it
because they like me, but sometimes, especially for the guys larger in size, an
arm around the shoulder can be a little overwhelming. I can’t speak on behalf of
women, but a girl friend of mines exact words were “don’t be so overbearing.”
Make your presence short, quick, and enjoyable.
My personal experience with women is that, since I am stronger than most of
them, I have the ability to grab them by the waist and pick them up in the air. I
then put them back on the floor, and afterwards they usually enjoy it so they turn
around and stay or start conversation with me. Be quick with your touches; it’s
better to touch someone every 5 minutes for 30 seconds than every 15 minutes
for 2 minutes. Short and sweet! It leaves them wanting more. If you ever doubt
yourself in this case, less is more. If they want you to touch them, believe me,
they will break the touch barrier, which opens up the gates to be all touchy-
touchy.
The sense of touch is a very powerful tool. Your rapport grows with how
much you touch each other. As conversation moves along and you two are more
comfortable with each other, things you say can cause an appropriate touch like a
playful shove or a playful slap on the hand. Notice that the more comfortable
you are with someone and they are with you the more touching there is between
you. For example, when you are on a date and it’s going along great, you and
your date may be touching feet under the table or holding hands on top of the
table.
People who don’t know me may think I am a very touchy person, but in
reality I am just trying to make them comfortable with me. Sometimes when
talking to someone next to me, if they say something comical, I will laugh and
put my arm around their shoulders for a second. I give them a nice little tug in,
look at them, smile, and then I let go. Small things like that subconsciously tell
the person that you are comfortable with them and may cause them to be
comfortable with you. Remember, as strong and helpful as the sense of touch
may be, it can also be very dangerous. As much as it can make a person feel very
comfortable with you, it can also make them be very annoyed with you.
Remember to use the sense of touch in small doses because it can either make or
break your relationship.

The Unusual
Time and time again you will see yourself going through the same
conversations. First, let’s break down conversation. When you meet someone,
you get introduced or introduce yourself. You start with small talk, maybe the
weather, then move on to interests or hobbies. The whole time, you try to find
common ground. Sometimes it may be the person who introduces you, so you
start talking about them because that is what you share in common. You are both
friends with so and so. Then you start to find out who else you two are friends
with. We have all gone through that conversation. I usually have something in
my “bag of tricks” that is never expected. Whenever we play the mutual friend
game, I immediately call him or her out on what we are doing. I will resay this
whole part to them, then lead into the ‘if you really want to know all the mutual
friends we have you can just go on a little site called Facebook’ spiel. It has a
pretty detailed list of which friends we share in common.

Be unusual. Step out of the normal routine, and be that extraordinary person
you have been before. Don’t be the person that talks about the weather, unless
you have a very interesting story to follow up on that. Be outside the box. Talk
about interesting World news or about the existence of cannibalistic cowboys2.
Once people experience the unusual you, they will be intrigued and want more.
Next time they run into you or see you out, they will want to strike conversation
because when it comes to conversing with you, they don’t know what to expect!

Do Not Break Ties – Keep Friendships
Sometimes when a relationship ends that is the last time you speak to the other
person. For some it is really hard to keep the friendship after the relationship.
Personally, I have a strong relationship with all the women I've been with. The
main reason why I encourage all guys to keep a strong relationship and not break
ties is because, when women are off with their friends and they are talking about
guys, when your name comes up, trust me it might take time but eventually your
name will come up, you have at least one person there that will have your back
and talk highly of you. We both appreciate our time together, but now it is over
so we remain friends. They understand it is over, and they know they will be
seeing me with another person as I will see them with someone else. Don't give
them any bad reason to not talk highly of you. Women talk to other women
about men all the time, as men talk to other men about women all the time. It is
in your best interest to be in their good graces.
You want to keep ties so that you have another person on your team. You want
people rooting for your success and talking highly of you. This is why I suggest
to never talk poorly about anyone. People talk. Yes it’s in our nature. The worst
thing that can happen is that you talk badly about someone and one of the people
you are saying it to is a friend of that person. You can believe that the person you
thought was going to keep your secret is going to tell that person you were
talking bad about them. Now you have made a potential friend an enemy. No
matter what you do or say this cannot be undone. Once someone finds out that
you were talking bad about him or her when they weren’t around to defend
themselves, especially if what you are saying isn’t the truth, you will forever
create an enemy.
For example, I introduced this girl I was friends with to another girl who I am
really good friends with. I ran into them all out one night and spent the rest of
my night with them until they all went back to their friend’s house, and I went
home. The girl that I am close with called me the next morning and told me this
girl was talking bad about me. She was saying that I wasn’t that smart. Yes, I
may be writing a book, but I am quite dumb. I didn’t even graduate high school.
Everyone’s entitled to his or her opinion. Some people might think I am dumb,
while others might think I am the smartest person in the world. I can assure you
though. I did graduate high school.

So this girl ruined all chances of me ever talking highly of her. Now, instead
of having her back when I hear guys talk bad about her, I laugh at the insults
they give her which 3encourages them to say more. Even to this day, I never
confronted her about it. It’s not in my blood. The second someone talks bad
about me I cut him or her out of my life. There is no room for negativity. She
isn’t worth my breath, but she did make a good example of what not to do.

Video chatting
When trying to become better acquainted with someone who does not live in
the same area as you, and seeing him or her is very limited, I tend to use the
Video Chat Strat (egy). This strategy only works if you have hung out before and
both got along great. This strategy will not work if you have not met the person.
When video chatting with someone, even though it is practically a phone
conversation with images, the person feels as if he or she is actually there with
you. When the next reunion comes between both of you, he or she will feel more
comfortable and excited to see you, since after all they see you twice a week on
their computer screen, but now you are actually in front of them. Video chatting
helps you become better acquainted. Remember, only ask to do it on weeknights
close to his or her bedtime, so you are the last person they contact every day
before bed, which means, if they don't suffer from A.D.D., you are the last thing
on their mind and the first thing in the morning.
For example, when visiting a girl I was seeing in New York City, I hung out
with her friends, and we got along great. I kept in touch with some of them. I
technically only hung out with her once, when I went to New York, but since I
lived in Miami and she lived in New York, we weren't going to hang out anytime
soon. So I decided to practice my game on a complete stranger (because she sort
of was, conversation was to a minimal on my visit, and we would only tweet
each other every now and then which is similar to small talk.) I kept in touch via
webcam, and I was invited in passing to her birthday in New York. I said “Why
not?,” booked a flight, and video chatted with her every day until the day I
arrived. When I showed up, even though it was only our 2nd time hanging out in
person, we got along as if we knew each other our whole lives. Moral of the
story: when you video chat, it is like hanging out with someone in person.
Ask yourself…

Do you often see yourself touching someone of the opposite sex?

Or do you keep your hands to yourself?

Is your usual conversation outside the box?

Do you see yourself constantly having the same conversation?

Have you dated someone before?

Are you friends with your X’s?

Have you ever video-chatted/face timed?

If yes, how close are you with that person?


1 When you meet someone and get introduced you have the opportunity to touch him or her by saying
hello. Also when you are saying goodbye you have the opportunity to touch them during your farewell.

2 Cowboys spent all that time in open land with just their horses. Chances are they couldn’t find food for
a while and killed another wanderer? Don’t you think?

3 #Karma
Chapter 9

Practice
Practice makes perfect
At the end of the day, the more you practice, the better you get at it because
you can’t get any worse. Talking always keeps your brain thinking, especially
when you are conversing with someone you haven’t communicated with before
about something you rarely talk about. Your game will be lowered if you are
high, so I recommend not to go out high or trip on hallucinogens when bettering
your craft. Talk to everyone and anyone, even if they reject you. Either way, now
they know you as opposed to not knowing you at all. As long as you keep it
simple and don’t try doing some out-of-the-park moves, you’ll be just fine.
Sometimes being short and sweet is all you need:
You-Hey
Person-Hello? (Confused stranger you approached)
You-What high school did you go to?
Person-I’m not from here
You- Oh I’m sorry you look like someone I know
Person-That’s alright
You- I’m Joe by the way. What’s your name?
Just like that conversation is started. If they want to continue the conversation,
by all means continue, if not just remain polite and wish them a nice day. If that
person ever sees you out, or vice versa, you can give them a head nod, or when
you bump into each other, lead into small talk. This conversation works for me
well at the gym. As long as you keep your cool and act like it isn’t a big deal,
then they won’t treat it as a big deal. Remember, if you act like they’re too
important, they will treat you like you’re not important.

Stay in conversation
When out, whether it is a nightclub or a bar, you always want to stay active.
When first going out, you need to get warmed up, so don’t hesitate to talk to
staff and security at whatever venue you are at, especially the ones holding a
post, because they are there for work and are probably bored. So warm yourself
up by talking to them. After that start approaching and starting conversation with
anyone. Remember the last thing you want to be labeled as is a creep! So avoid
the creep zone. People are always watching you so don’t make it to obvious that
your talking to anyone who will speak to you.
An important thing to learn is to avoid relying on alcohol to start and hold
conversation. You need to master the art of conversation sober. That way when
you start catching a buzz it all falls into place. You should not be alcohol-
dependent, but be alcohol-additive. Don’t forget to have an opening line ready,
and once that is used, start conversation. People can tell when someone is
nervous, especially when they are being fake. You want to avoid that! You want
to be ready to speak to everyone and not have to worry.
If you are the type that doesn’t get approached while out, take the initiative
and make it happen. You should continue to stay in conversation because you
will eventually hit a streak where every word out of your mouth can’t come out
any better. Just remember: practice, practice, practice! Keep on moving and
believe me, every conversation you have that night will be better and more
natural than the one before.

Do not let it bother you
As Charlie Sheen once said “The way I never got my heart broken is
pretending I never had one. ”The less you care the better off you are. When you
call or text the person of interest and they don’t respond, yes, it may bother you,
but do not let him or her know that. It’ll only hurt your chances. People do not
like the jealous type. Play the same game he or she does and it will get you far.
Who are they to ignore your text message? When someone clearly ignores me
continuously, I just delete their number from my phone. When the day comes
that they do text me I say the perfect response to them, “Who is this?” Keep the
emotions off the court. You don’t see LeBron James crying every time he misses
a free throw or travels. Remember, life is long and so is the game you play.
I know what you are thinking, and yes, it sucks. You don’t want to play this
stupid game, but unfortunately we all have to partake in it until we meet that
special someone. Believe me though, when you find that special someone, you
will know because you won’t have to play any games at all. All the things you
have learned in this book will be thrown out the window because this is the
person that is going to make you break all the rules you have learned; and they
are going to love you for that.

The Law of Numbers
My friends take full advantage of and play the law of numbers. They believe
that yes 9 girls might reject them with their aggressive game, but that 10th one is
going to give in. I have a friend that, whenever we go to a nightclub, will sit at
the bar, and every girl that comes by he buys them a drink. When they finish
sharing the drink, he says, "Let's go. My place or your place?" His success rate is
unbelievable. We will get into the nightclub at around midnight, and by 1 o clock
I am already a man short because he's upstairs in the hotel room of the tourist he
just picked up. I enjoy the challenge. I would never be able to play The Law of
Numbers, but it is perfect for those with no shame and who can handle rejection.
No shame leads to infinite success. The one thing I did learn from my friend
was not to worry. He might look like a fool or a real ass to those first 9 girls, but
he just doesn’t care. People’s opinions, if you care about them, can really affect
you as a person. Live a carefree life because in the end the only opinion about
you that matters is the one you have of yourself. You won’t be able to get
everyone to like you, but, honestly, there isn’t a point. The only person that
needs to like you is you! So if you are hesitant to do something because of how
people may think about you afterward, just go for it. The more you put yourself
in situations that show that you don’t care what people think, the more people
will seem to like you because they know you are truly being yourself. They will
respect you and above all admire you. 

No Shame Game
You must understand that there are 7 billion people in this world. With an
approximate 1.07 ratio of male to female that leaves around 3.15 billion opposite
sex members out there. Zero shame leads to infinite opportunities. If you do not
try, you are getting nowhere. If one individual rejects you, then you have
3,149,999,999 other people that could possibly accept you. When you are across
the room looking at the one person you would pick over everyone else, know
that the chances of you succeeding are higher if you try as opposed to just sitting
there watching and hoping that he or she notices you and starts conversation.
Believe it or not men, most women do not get hit on as often as you might
think. Most guys share the same problem you have and are too intimidated to
talk to a girl that they think is far prettier than they are because they are scared
that they can’t compete with the pretty boys those women get with all the time.
Just remember to keep calm and be cool. Rejection is just another part of life,
and if you don’t overcome the fear of it, then you won’t get anywhere.
Something that I actually picked up from YouTube and immediately applied to
my own life was the no shame approach. Go up to someone without breaking the
ice and just say, “Put your number in my phone.” Hand them the phone and
don’t say a word. You would be surprised how many numbers I actually got. Try
this but remember you will get rejected. The trick isn’t to not get rejected; it’s to
not be scared of getting rejected. Brush it off; it’s okay to strikeout. The next
time you go up to bat have your head on right and aim for that homerun. Do this
exercise, and afterwards when you have their number, you can ask them a series
of questions like “why did you give me your number,” or “what’s your name?”
This works if you look interesting, so, if you are going to do this, make sure you
don’t look like a bum and you’re dressed nice. If you do this with confidence
and silence, you give off the impression that you are mysterious and comfortable
with yourself. These are the top attributes of attraction.
In this same YouTube channel, this guy had another way he picked up women.
This was pretty impressive. He goes up to a random girl and asks them “can I
ask you three questions?” The first question is “do you have a boyfriend?” The
second one is “do you find me attractive?” The third one is “what reasons do you
have to not kiss me right now?” Then, he gives them a second to think before he
goes in for the move. You’d be surprised how many people this worked on. I
actually knew a girl he did it to in the video, and I called her immediately. She
told me that it wasn’t fake, and he actually got her. Just be straight up and
confident; it works! As long as you’re confident you will be surprised on the
positive responses you will get! Remember have a plan and execute it while
keeping your cool.
Step out of your comfort zone! Try being weird, extremely weird! Approach
some people and say something bizarre, and when you get to the point that you
weird them out too much, reveal that you are joking around and you’re actually
normal. What this does is it makes you stop caring about what the reaction will
be. Also, it makes them actually think you are normal and interesting. You need
to be careless and free! Remember, no shame will grant you infinite
opportunities!
No shame doesn’t mean to be inappropriate. It means for you to go out and
try. As long as you keep going at it, you’ll eventually find success. Michael
Jordan once said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost
almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and
missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I
succeed.”

When to give up
Most guys keep trying and trying and just have no idea when to give up. If
there is a right vibe, you will know, and if there isn't, you should be able to
detect it. From my experience when meeting someone new, 3 minutes is the ideal
time to see if I am getting somewhere or not. When the 3-minute mark is up and
you know you aren't going anywhere, you can either say, “nice to meet you.
Hope to see you around,” or aim for the fence and go for a home run move. For
example, switch the conversation to sex. It'll either make his or her eyes sparkle,
or it will make you look like a pervert. Either way, it's a game changer.
I personally don’t go for the homerun because if their eyes glisten over the
word sex chances are it is he or she who is the pervert. The following advice is if
you want to be rude. Only use it if the person you are speaking to deserves it. In
conversation I give up by not making it look like I gave up because they aren’t
interested. I make it look like I gave up on them. It is not you who is unworthy;
it is they! When you see they aren’t interested, look at them dead in the eyes,
stop mid-sentence, glance at them up and down from head to toe, give a sarcastic
chuckle, and walk away to someone you know. Then immediately start
interesting conversation or appear overly excited to see them. This is like a
conversationalist slap in the face. It leaves that person alone with no one to talk
to, and all they can do is see you walk away into a more interesting conversation.
To be blunt this makes you an asshole. So tread carefully.

Closer
The night is going great. You two seem to be getting along great, but let’s be
serious for a second. You can’t keep this up forever. Eventually something is
going to have to happen. Either you have to go or he or she has to leave. Closing
doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to get laid. In this case, closing can be
getting a kiss, a phone number, or maybe a future date. When you reach that
point of the night, it’s best to keep control. Be sure to get a phone number at all
costs. If you ask for it as if it’s not a big deal the chances are he or she will give
it to you. Also, another thing I do is, when I finally get his or her number, I ask
him or her to spell their name in my phone as it would appear on Facebook. This
way, whenever I get to it, I add them; I like a couple of her pictures; and then
they will feel as if our friendship is “Facebook official,” which means now you
are in their circle of friends. The perk to this is that without any effort you will
surely start popping up on their main feed, and thus popping into their mind. The
best way I have learned to get a number is to mention that you will call that
person. Then, when they realize they never gave you their number, they say,
“You don’t have it,” and then you take your phone out and solve that little
problem.
When it comes down to closing, it is a given fact that no girl wants to be
known as a slut and that no girl goes out alone. So the real question is how do
you close and get this girl that you just met out of her circle of friends to go back
with you to your place. Once again, no girl wants to be known as a slut, and she
definitely doesn’t want to be known as a slut who goes home with strangers she
just met. A method that I have learned is to reference back to earlier
conversation to get her out of there. For example, if you were talking about a
pizza place, ask her if she wants to go grab a slice to eat. If you were talking
about robbing hookers on 8th street, see if she’s down for that. This way you get
her away from her friends, and after that you should be good.
If you come to a situation where you don’t know how to close, you can always
just be straight forward with it:

“I don’t mean to be direct but can you give me your number?”

“Give me your number.” Hand her the phone with the dial pad ready
“You can’t leave you haven’t given me your number yet.”

Remember, confidence is key, so if you don’t hesitate while you are getting
the number, then they won’t hesitate in giving it to you. Just in case you are
nervous, you can always ask for an Instagram during conversation. Social media
is open to the public and shouldn’t be that difficult to get.
If you struggle on asking for the number, be sure to maintain eye contact. Try
collecting at least 2 numbers of attractive members of the opposite sex daily.
This goes the same for women. You have the number, but it doesn’t mean you
have to call. What this does is it gets you over the fear of asking for the number.
Something bizarre that I read always stuck with me, and I tried it for myself
during the production of this book. When you are at the mall, go out and try to
get as many numbers as possible. Help yourself get over being uncomfortable.
Believe me, the first couple times are going to feel weird. Once you are over that
fear of being uncomfortable you are golden. Try approaching someone you think
is attractive and explain to him or her that you are meeting a friend and that you
are in a hurry. Tell them that if you didn’t ask them now, you would regret it all
day. Then ask for their number. You can reassure them that you’re not crazy, and
if they want they can give you a fake number it’s okay you just couldn’t let this
moment go.
Just remember if you do get someone’s number you should at least follow up
with him or her. They went out of their way to give you their contact
information. The least you should do is shoot them a text. What if that person
really wanted to hear from you? You think it’s right to build up your self-esteem
while knocking someone else’s down?
Ask yourself…

When out do you see yourself only speaking to the person you came with?

Do you go out of your way to meet new people?

Are you sensitive?

Do you get easily offended?

Are you scared of rejection?

Are you embarrassed easily and scared to put yourself out there?

Can you close?

Are you passive or are you persistent?

“The mind is everything.
What you think you become”
-Buddha
Chapter 10

Pay Close Attention

Establish Dominance
Nowadays we are so used to talking on the phone that we do not know how to
talk in person. Hold eye contact because it’s the pathway to the soul. Among
silverback gorillas, the world’s largest primates, only the dominant male is
allowed to stare at other gorillas. The stare is the way in which the leader asserts
his authority over the group. The same goes with humans: dominant people are
permitted to stare, while subordinates are intimidated into looking away. This is
something we are taught as children; “it’s rude to stare,” but can be untaught
with practice.
An exercise I practice when I am out at a bar or nightclub is to make eye
contact and not break until the target does first. When walking down the street,
hold eye contact and do not break it with the people walking towards you. When
you have done that for long enough, pass the final test by holding a staring
contest with a random person in the elevator, after all, that is the most
intimidating thing you can do.
I cannot emphasize how important keeping eye contact is. It shows that you
are confident. The key to being successful in life is to be confident, and the first
step to getting there is keeping eye contact. It may be with a woman you are
trying to sleep with or a future boss that is interviewing you. Think about all the
people you have ever encountered in your life that you know or think are
successful. How many of them were intimidated by you? None (unless they were
a computer geek who made a fortune off programming). The next time you
watch someone being interviewed on TV notice how he or she never looks away
from his or her interviewer’s eye while keeping uncontrollable blinking to a
minimum.
When meeting a complete stranger, the first impression you can possibly have
on them, besides your physical appearance, is when you first make eye contact.
That moment in time is the first time you both acknowledge each other. Have
you ever been put in a situation when walking down a long hall way and you see
a beautiful person walking towards your direction? The most important thing to
remember for the next time this happens is to not look at any other body part
besides his or her eyes. From my personal experience I have learned that the
longer you keep eye contact with someone, the better off you are. Remember to
keep the blinking to a minimum. Stay strong when in this staring contest, and
remember to mirror whatever they do. If they smile, smile back, if they say hi
say hi back. Consider this the moment where the ice has been broken. Then,
when you approach him or her, just start with a simple greeting, and the rest will
go smoothly. Fair warning: if you make eye contact with someone who is with a
friend or someone of the same sex and you jump back and forth between making
eye contact with them, you will lose them. So, when you experience that eye-
contact moment where you did everything perfectly, the next time you make eye
contact with them you should be starting conversation. Also, if you are sitting
down and they are moving, it’s next to impossible to hold eye contact. Try this
experiment out and don’t hesitate to try different variations to see which one
suits you best.
When out at a nightclub or a bar, eye contact can be used as a WMD (weapon
of mass destruction). Making eye contact with a target and staring are entirely
different things. Staring is for amateurs who look like a deer in headlights. Eye
contact is for the executive types. When you see a target, pick one of their eyes,
lock on, don’t smile, don’t mouth any words to them, and keep the blinking to a
minimum. It shows that you are interested and that they do not intimidate you.
Remember do not lose the battle between you and the target because if you give
up you lose your chance. You’d be surprised how long people can hold eye
contact for. Understand that you have the advantage because of the knowledge I
just presented you. As you make eye contact keep this part of the book in mind.
For the target you are holding eye contact with just imagine what is going
through their head? Who is this person that is so confident, enough to continue
looking at me and not break the stare when I clearly look back at them? This
person is different, intriguing; I have got to know more. Usually if they are
interested they will either smile or say hi. Whatever they do, mirror it back to
them and remember that there is no swag in saying hello (never say the word
hello when holding eye contact stick to hi). If they aren’t interested in you, then
they’ll just break the eye contact, and if that happens, oh well, on to the next one.
Eye contact is important but also timing when to break the eye contact can
help just as much. At any point in the conversation if something negative comes
up, be sure to break eye contact. Also, when telling a story, you want to keep it
somewhat animated and interesting so don’t stare. Sometimes you may be too
intimidating if you stare into their eyes the whole entire night. Once you
demonstrated confidence and you are comfortable, then the rest will go
smoothly.  

Proximity of Interest
Please judge a book by its cover because if you see me you will think I am the
most interesting person in the word. Honestly, it’s all the hair. I have cool hair; I
can’t deny it. So when I do rapid movements I look very animated, a character.
When out, it may be a club, bar, or a store, I have noticed that when I’m doing
my own thing sometimes, I see myself slowly being surrounded by (this might
all be in my head but this was my original thought) women who might be
interested in me starting conversation with them. I would notice when I was
shopping in the men’s department every now and then there would be a couple
of girls next to me shopping for the same thing. My first thought was that they
were just shopping for a guy friend or boyfriend who ever it may be. Then I
realized guys do the same thing.
When out, guys usually scope the area, examine what location of the venue
has what group of women, and then they find an excuse to hang out there. If they
see a friend they know, even if they don’t remember his or her name, they will
go and say what’s up because it brings them closer to the women they want to be
around. I have also seen/done the move where you see a pretty girl at the bar and
order a drink right beside her in hopes of starting conversation. I have seen this
done and realized this one day at a store that it works for women too.
This is called the proximity of interest. If you are interested in something, you
want to get close to it for a better look. You might even want to get close to it for
chances that you can be a part of it. If something catches a person’s eye and they
are naturally intrigued, it may be by a look on their face, the sound of their
voice, the way the person is dressed, or any other detail, that person will keep
one eye and ear on the activity they are doing and another on the subject of
interest. Be sure to be aware of your surroundings so that you can use the
proximity of interest to your advantage. Pay attention to the detail around you,
which leads us to our next part.
 

Attention to Detail
Ever hear the quote, “it’s the little things in life?” Well it’s the little things that
keep things interesting and gives the big things way bigger meaning. Pay
attention to everything and anything; be alert and aware of your surroundings.
As an alpha male, whenever out I am completely aware of everything going on. I
am very analytical and observant which puts me at an advantage. A simple trick
I do to boost my attention to detail is when entering a room look at the colors of
furniture and walls. Also, see how many wall outlets there are in the room. It
will improve your memory with practice, which will make things you actually
want to remember easier to recall.
In conversation, attention to detail is crucial, especially when you are
speaking to someone you are interested in. Remember the little things. For
example, the other day I was speaking to a club dancer, and she saw that I had
earplugs on. She mentioned that, after she is in the club dancing and when she
gets off work, she has a ringing sound for the whole night and that she needed
earplugs. I had a bunch on me, but I waited a week to make sure she forgot what
we spoke about.
One day, when we were texting, I asked if she was working later, and she was.
I asked to meet up before because I had a gift for her. When we met up, I started
conversation and hung out like it was no big deal. Right when she said goodbye I
grabbed the earplugs and gave them to her. When she saw them, she
remembered the conversation we had and loved it! The point of this book is to
build rapport, and being attentive to the smaller details will better you as a
person and help you get to where you want to go.
 

Nice Things are Shiny Things
Ever met someone with serious A.D.D.? Where you are in mid-conversation
and they say, “wow, look at the shiny spoon.” The only difference between that
person and everyone else is that he or she actually spoke his or her thoughts.
Inside our head, we all registered that the spoon was shiny; the difference is we
didn’t let it get the best of us and kept the thoughts to ourselves. When it comes
to obvious things around us, people register them and even put thought into
them, but they don’t make it a big enough deal to speak about it. This is leading
to my next point: being cool and subtle.

We are living in a time where we are all connected (I’m pretty sure I’ve
mentioned that at least 10 times in this book). We all, with a touch of a button,
can reach anybody. Everyone has it and everyone uses it. Yes, I’m talking about
the cell phone. When it comes to subtle details, the main one I’m getting to
address is the cell phone. If you have a flip phone Nokia from 1996, I’m sorry to
break it to you, but it’s time for an upgrade. This is something we use in our
everyday lives, so why not get the best of the best? When you are in a
conversation with someone and your phone rings, and they see you have an
iPhone, it will make yourself look better than if you have a 1trap phone. It’s the
subtle details. I believe in making yourself look cool without trying to look cool
takes you to the top of your game. Although, if you have iPhone5 gold plated,
you are being too flashy and you are trying too hard. Remember, it’s the little
things.
I am not one to throw money away. I am actually the type that saves it and
reinvests it into projects that I can see returns on, including myself. Every now
and then you can catch me buying something dumb off of amazon, like a laser
pointer, lock pick set, lucid dreaming induction device, l.e.d gloves, and a whole
bunch of other things that would make you laugh. I buy that because it brings me
joy when it gets to my house. I have over indulged a couple times; mostly on
things I use every day. I’m into watches so I have invested in multiple. I can
justify the cost because I like watches and I use them everyday. I have an iPhone
5, which was pretty pricey too, but, once again, I use it every day. I also have a
Hermes wallet that never leaves my back pocket, and I can’t forget my Versace
prescription glasses (before I got LASIK). The point that I am getting at is that I
use these things everyday so chances are people will see me using them. I’ll
spend a good amount of money on something if I am going to use it every day. I
will not spend over $100 on a shirt I’m going to wear once every two months.
Having nice things shows you have nice taste, but don’t be too ridiculous with it.
 

Overly Excited Greetings
There are some people that you are never going to have a conversation with,
but you know that person is friends with a lot of the people you hang out with.
There is one thing that I have learned through my relationships with these
people; the only interaction you have with them is the greeting (you usually tend
to not say goodbye to these people unless it’s at a small gathering.) So, when
greeting them, appear overly excited to see them, but do not cross the line of
excitement into annoyance. There is a fine line between the two. If its guy-to-
guy, give a little boxing move or something. If it's guy-to-girl, then give her a
hug that includes you picking them up an inch or so off the ground. Remember,
this is entirely personal to you. A universal, overly-excited greeting does not
exist because everyone's relationship is unique in its own way. The advantage to
this can be seen when you are overly excited to see someone, and then in the
future they become overly excited to see you as well. So, when you show up to
an event where these people are and you are going around saying hello to them,
the people who don't know you but are observing you see that everyone is overly
excited to see you. Genius, I know.
Ask yourself…

Do you keep eye contact?

Or do you see yourself looking away and downwards?

How is your appearance when going out for daily errands?

Do you feel people are naturally attracted to your area?

Do you notice subtle details?

Or do you normally notice it when someone points it out first?

What type of phone do you have?

Is it a flip phone or a smart phone? Upgrade.

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”
-Farrah Gray

1 Trap phone also known as a burner phone is a low quality cheap phone drug dealers use for business
that is easily disposable.
Chapter 11

Gimmicks
Horoscopes
Believe it or not, there are actually people out there that live by their
horoscope. Since everyone on this planet, no matter where they are from, has a
horoscope sign, it is good to learn the basics of horoscopes so that you can use it
in conversation. Nowadays, everyone has smart phones. If you don’t, you should
get on it; it will change your life for the better. With such a broad array of free
mobile applications you can find hundreds of them related to horoscopes. The
one I use is Daily Horoscope. It updates every day and even shows love
compatibility. This is a great topic of conversation because most of the time it is
accurate, scary accurate!
I was talking to a girl for a bit and decided to read her horoscope to her. From
what I already knew about her, I thought the whole horoscope was way off, but
when I read it to her the look she gave me was a look of absolute shock.
Apparently, it was so accurate that she freaked out and stopped being fake with
me. Over time our relationship ended, but to this day we’re great friends. I use
this method because it is entertaining. It gives guidance and excitement; plus, it’s
fun! Be sure that, when you read someone his or her horoscope, you know how
to read properly because if not you are going to sound like a fool.
Another thing I use, since we are on the topic, is a website called
www.colorquiz.com. A girl used this on me, and it was scary how accurate the
results were. The results have been unbelievable every time! It requires you to
pick from the colored squares on display the one that makes you feel happiest.
When you click the square, it disappears and you do it again to the next color.
When you finish it you need to wait 180 seconds and do the quiz all over again.
After the second round, it gives you the results, and it’s pretty ridiculous how on
point it can be. These are simple, fun games that can be reached on your smart
phone within minutes, which can open up the floodgates of conversation. Who
knows, maybe it saying you two are compatible flicks a switch in his or her
head! 

Drugs
 Originally when I wrote this book this part was about 4 pages long. A lot can
be said about drugs. My perspective living in Miami, FL growing up with rich
private school kid is a lot different than the majority of people out there. So to
avoid offending anybody I will keep this short and sweet.
Depending how old you are chances are you already encountered drugs at
some point. Whether it is a party, someone smoked a joint or a family member
smoking a cigarette. Regardless if you haven’t chances are at some point you
will. Just say no. Whether you are using a cigarette as an icebreaker or smoking
weed to join that cool group of people. It’s a slippery slope! Just like pringles
once you pop the fun don’t stop!
Ask yourself…

What’s your sign?

Do you know what attributes go with that sign?

What sign are you compatible with?

Is that the sign of someone you care about?

Have you ever done drugs?

Do you think you gain or lose friends because of it?

Have you smoked a cigarette before?

Are you addicted? Why did you smoke it? Are you willing to switch to vapor?
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
-Albert Einstein
Chapter 12

Tips & Tricks

A bag of tricks
I always keep a bag of tricks with me and turn to it when the time is right. The
more experience you have with people, the bigger this bag gets. Whenever
interacting with someone and you say something that opens up his or her eyes or
makes them smile/blush, remember it and keep it for the next time a
conversation similar to that one comes your way. Look at the bag of tricks as a
signature move. It has to be original or at least something that he or she has
never heard before.
EX. Whenever speaking to a woman and she mentions something about a
boyfriend, I already have 3 possible reactions to her comment. My first one
would be to immediately say something like, “Yeah, my favorite color is red.”
She gets confused, and then I say, "I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about
shit that doesn't matter.” Another response to her telling me she has a boyfriend
would be to laugh and say, “Just because there is a goalie doesn't mean I can't
score.” Usually this brings laughter. The last thing I do is ask them “how long
they have had that problem?” We get in a good laugh, and then we move on to
the next point of conversation.
Another trick that I learned requires a friend to help. Whenever you’re out and
you see a group of people that you want to interact with, walk through the people
as if you are headed somewhere past them. In the meantime, you have your
friend watch you and the group you walked through. When you walk through,
have your friend keep an eye on the group to see which person turned around to
check you out while you passed. 

Outside the Box
You are only remembered if you are worth it, so when conversing remember
to be outside the box. Make the conversation fun because, after all, laughter is
the best form of seduction. If the right opportunity arises call her queen and
eventually get her to say that you are the king. That way you have an inside joke;
you are comparing yourselves to royalty which helps because no one is going to
call a scrub their king; and it partners you and her as a unit in a fictional world,
which may one day become reality. This is just one example. There are many
other ways to act and think outside the box.
The “inside joke” is a huge deal in the dating realm. Well, it’s actually huge in
any type of social realm. If you have 1000 inside jokes with someone that puts
you two on the same page/wavelength, which means you two get along great.
You think a boss would ever get rid of the employee he can crack jokes with in
code in front of the person they are talking about? I personally envy those
couples with a million inside jokes. It shows that they are in sync, they get along
great, and, above all, they are best friends. If you find this with someone, then do
not let him or her go. My experience has been that it is very difficult to form
inside jokes with someone because not everyone gets you. It is completely
different to form an inside joke with someone than it is to force an inside joke on
them without them knowing. When it comes naturally, it is all the more
rewarding at the end.
 

Escorting the Queen
I have been with a good amount of women throughout my life, and I have kept
each and every one of them around, either as a lover or just a friend. Lately, the
strategy I've used to meet new women, which requires the least amount of effort,
is what I call the “Escorting the Queen” technique. It's when you grab the most
beautiful girl of your friends and to be seen with her. Other women will see this
beautiful woman you are with and can't help but to ask themselves what it is you
offer that has gotten you the Queen. They will want to find out themselves. If
they ever ask about her, just say she's your ex-girlfriend and that you haven't
seen her in a while; you were just taking her to find her new boyfriend or
something along those lines. This shows that you had a beautiful girl, you broke
up but are still friends, and that you are not the jealous type.
EX. I was at the Grove in Miami, FL, which is comprised of a couple blocks
filled with bars. I was somewhat bored and saw a beautiful friend of mine,
Daniela. I told her to take a walk with me. We had a seat at an outside
bar/restaurant, and my drinks with Daniela kept getting interrupted by other
women coming to say hello. I understand that this may not seem like a big deal,
but for a girl to approach you while you are already seated, with another girl, to
interrupt your conversation, just to say hello and leave… trust me... it's a big
deal.
  

Document the Night
This part I actually picked up from multiple girl friends of mine. Whenever
they go out with me, at some point in the night they take a photo of us. Then
they send the photo of us to me through text message. What this does is break
the ice. It is a lot easier for women to do this than guys because women are
known for taking photographs more often than guys.
Guys, don’t be ashamed to ask someone where ever you are to take a photo of
you and your friend. Just remember, when you ask someone to take a photo and
you are using your phone, have the camera application ready! You don’t know
how many times someone has asked me to take a photo, then I have to sit there
and wait for him or her to load the application to then take a photo of them.
Documenting the night has multiple benefits from icebreakers to memories.
Whenever there is a tag of a photo on social media, it reminds the person of you.
Also, other people see you two together and associate you with them. As long as
you apply what you learn and create a genuine friendship, with time people will
mention you in passing to them. They will have nothing but positive things to
say about you as long as you made your presence a blessing.

Signature Move
Everyone has a signature move, what’s yours? I have pulled off this one trick
pretty well. I get a girl a drink, make sure it’s free because I know a promoter
and don’t have to spend money, then I have some small talk conversation, and
manage to somehow get her to pose for a picture that I take with my phone.
When I take the picture I show to her, and if it’s bad I just take another. When I
get a good photo of her, I ask her what her number is so that I can send her the
image. Genius, right?
Now that I have her number I continue with small talk, and eventually we part
ways. At the end of the night when I reflect on my text messages, I have a bunch
of people that I sent pictures of. So if there is ever a day that I don’t remember
who I am texting, I have a picture reminding me of who it is. Also, since my
encounter with them was pleasant, they will be very receptive to having
conversation with me. I can always follow up with what they did after we hung
out or how the rest of their night went.
 There are many signature moves, but the best ones are the ones you do
without any alternative motives. It’s afterwards when you realize you did it that
it was a great idea, and you continue doing it from then on. Another move I
personally enjoy is the “Cinderella” move to women. When I first see them, I
grab their hand and twirl them around to see their outfit. It makes them feel
beautiful and like a princess. This breaks the touch barrier and adds something
fun to your interaction with each other. Who knows, maybe after that you can
start calling her princess!
 

Beautiful People
Why is it that so many people are intimidated by beautiful people? If you
think about it, at the end of the day they are just people like you and me. Where
is this standard that says that someone is beautiful and someone else isn’t? There
isn’t one. Beauty is just an opinion. I really enjoy this quote some religious
fanatic said to me. “Common looking people are the best; that’s why God made
so many of them.” I wouldn’t consider myself super religious, even though I did
go to catholic school the majority of my life, but that line stuck with me. If you
consider yourself average looking, I am confident that all the other common
looking people find you quite appealing. So what is stopping you from
approaching this beautiful man or woman?
Believe it or not beautiful people are not as bad as people make them out to
be. A lot of people believe that beautiful people are mean or stuck up, but the
honest truth is that not many people hit on them or even speak to them because
they are so intimated by their looks. For those people who do actually speak to
or hit on them, the majority usually tends to be “douchebags.” So don’t be
alarmed when you speak to a beautiful person and they get a little testy with you.
They are just quizzing you to make sure you aren’t one of the norms. Stand out
and be original. Remember they are just people and they want to be spoken to.
Just stay confident and do not let fear overcome you, speak to this beautiful
person as if they were just another person. What makes you so different from
them? Beauty is just an opinion. Who knows maybe you both share the same
opinion of each other! Only one way to find out…
Ask yourself…

Do you see yourself using certain conversation or one-liners over and over
 again?

How do people respond to it?

How is the camera on your phone?

Is it high quality enough to be able to send it to someone to break ice?

What’s your signature move?

Does it work? Is it cheesy? How do people respond to it?

Do you struggle in speaking with beautiful people?

Do you hang out with anyone beautiful?

Chapter 13

In Conversation
Conversation Material
Do you know what the difference between a good friend and someone you just
met is in regards to conversation? It is much easier to talk to your best friend,
obviously, because you can talk to your best friend about literally anything. Why
is it, though, that you can’t talk to a complete stranger about anything? A reason
may be that you aren’t comfortable with them and feel as if they will not be
interested in the topic you are going to speak about. So, what do most people do
to resolve this situation? They chit chat about clubs, work, and school. That is
something you can do with anyone, but that isn’t what you want to do. You want
to leave them breathless with words arranged into sentences that they can’t even
fathom. First, you need to start hanging out with smarter people so you can have
more intellectual conversation. Second, you are going to need to learn how to
eliminate your stutter, speak well, and most importantly stand by your point.
When telling a story most people ramble on and on, and they forget what the
main point of what the conversation was. Then they realize they forgot and say,
“I forgot where I was getting at,” and the person you are speaking to feels like
some idiot just wasted their time. When you are trying to get a point across in
conversation and you are concluding your point, most times, with good
conversation at least, you get sidetracked, which is fine. Actually it is
encouraged; it’s what separates the good storytellers from the bad ones. When
you go off subject because something you said triggered something else and you
finish what you are talking about, just remember to go back to the original point!
Most people, when they hear you get sidetracked, are so intertwined with your
thought process that they are trying to see how your point develops. When you
finish with being sidetracked, go back to the point with “Well, anyways, as I was
saying…” and hit them hard with the whole purpose of the story. What makes
the good storytellers great and bad storytellers awful is that they make their
presence wanted, when bad storytellers are in action everybody just wants them
to shut up. Hit hard with your delivery and end on a good note. When your story
is done and you’ve properly executed it leave on a high note. Let’s say, at a
dinner with a group, let someone else take a shot at the microphone. You had
your time to shine and you did great. Now let’s watch someone else follow up on
that.
This is a good way to have people believe you’re an interesting person or
character. For one-on-one conversation, it’s a bit different. Any guy can talk to a
girl about school, work, family, clubs, or generic topic of conversation. Those
are usually points of conversation you use when first meeting someone to find a
topic you both are interested in so you can move onto something more concrete
(that’s why online dating is so popular; similar interests and dislikes between
two people are listed). As a man, when speaking to a woman, you want your
time with her to be remembered. Any guy can talk about last night or their work.
Not every guy can lead her into a state of arousal or at the least some romantic
interest. You have to set yourself apart from the competition by avoiding the
small talk. With enough practice you can develop a routine to control the
conversation. By asking certain questions, you can route the conversation into
the direction you want, which can eventually lead her into a romantic state.
It would be perfect if you could control the conversation at all times, but
sometimes you are just going to shoot blanks. When that moment comes you can
always remember the simplest question to ask: So how was your day? Speak
about current events that happened that day, get them talking, and hopefully it
triggers something so that you can move the conversation somewhere else.
Always keep a backup question ready just in case you begin to feel
uncomfortable mid-conversation, which happens to all of us, even the best of
conversationalist. It’s better to be over-prepared than under-prepared!
When someone you are speaking to asks you about your day never, and I
repeat never, tell him or her you just sat around bored at your house. In cases
like this it is better to bend the truth. Tell them that you were up early in the
morning finishing off some work, running errands, met a friend or family
member for lunch, and even did some physical activity. You never want to
appear boring. What this does is it lets the person know that you are a busy and
important person. If someone asks you what you are doing and you actually
aren’t doing anything, tell him or her that you are on the go. It may be that you
stepped out of the door or you are on your way to take care of something. If they
are asking because they want to hang out, you actually aren’t doing anything and
would like to hang out, use that as an opportunity to “cancel” your plans to do
something.
When talking on the phone, it is crucial to always hang up first. Sometimes
you might be in the mood to sit on the phone and talk for hours, but other times,
mostly the daytime, you just need to get to the point: be polite, pleasant, and
hang up. This shows that you are being active and getting stuff done. By not
speaking to someone everyday, it shows that you are busy and have other things
that are important in your life. When someone who wants to be a priority in
someone’s life is number two to work, family, friends, or a hobby, it makes them
want you more.
When running into someone that you would like to hang out with by accident
be sure to be pleasant and friendly. Make your time with them brief so that they
know they will have to work to hang out with you. Do not linger. The last thing
you want to do is make it seem like the only time you can hang out with this
person is when you run into them coincidently. Your presence is highly valuable,
so when you see someone that you are interested in hanging out with, give them
a minute then be sure you’re the one who ends conversation because you have
things to do. This way it shows that you aren’t that easy. This suggests your time
is valuable. You have amazing time with this person, but when you aren’t with
them you are striving to make yourself better or enjoying life. You can always
text them later to create plans seeing some one out randomly is always a good
reason to text them and you have a great icebreaker.
Remember in general conversation you must:

Learn the art of conversation.

Speak positively of every aspect of your life.
Be playful. Be confident. Be in charge.
Listen to them when they speak.
Use communication by touch.
Take every opportunity to make them laugh.
Maintain self-esteem at all times.
When they are being difficult, challenge them.
Catch their imaginations.
Speak of your goals. Show you are going somewhere in life.
Remember you can never build too much rapport.
Leave them wanting more.
Leave on a high note.
Keep eye contact.
 Follow this list and you are one step closer to bettering yourself in the art of
conversation. Every interaction is a learning experience. So jump into it with an
open mind and try to take something out of every conversation when you’re
done with it. Remember, everyone is intelligent in some subject. If they are
speaking about it, then it means something to them so they must have some
knowledge about it. Try to extract information in conversation by listening, for
you may be able to use it the next time you converse with someone else. The
good thing with that is that you know how it made you feel the first time you
heard it, and now you have someone else to experience that feeling with.

Fill in the Silence
Silence can either be man’s best friend or biggest enemy. When used in the
wrong situation, silence can be a serious mood killer. That’s why it’s always a
good idea to keep a backup plan. Observations are a good distraction to go to.
People love gossip, especially if it is interesting gossip. When I am at a place
where I may know a couple people in the area and it gets quiet, I will usually
point at a person I know that’s interacting with someone else, and I will say
something interesting about that person. It might be that I went to high school
with that person, or that I once went out to dinner and saw him on a date with
someone they know or even a celebrity. Just something interesting, whatever it
may be. Observations are always a good topic of conversation to use to fill in the
silence, but don’t base all your conversation on it. Its main purpose will be to
trigger the next conversation. You want to be the person steering this
conversation but you want the person you are speaking to be pushing the pedal.
That way to this person it feels as if you are involved, and they are having a
great time speaking to you because they are doing all the talking. Sometimes
though, observations won’t work. That’s why I always develop key questions
throughout my time speaking to this person. It may be that when I first saw him
or her I really liked his or her watch and I was wondering what brand it was,
which may then trigger them to tell me how their father gave it to them for their
birthday. Just remember though that when speaking to someone you are always
thinking to yourself and preparing yourself for the next step of the conversation.
Always keep your thoughts in your vault and prioritize it in your head. So when
that silence comes up, you can use the good fillers at your discretion.
Conversation is a game, with practice, tips, and tricks you will conquer the
competition.
 

The Awkward Silence
This is possibly the number one fear most people have when in the dating
world. This is also a main reason as to why people won't even start a
conversation. We've all been there: that moment where something should have
been said, but it wasn’t. The moment where both of you kind of look at each
other and think... "This isn't good.” When this happens the person will usually
think to themselves that you two do not connect, and at that point the date goes
downhill.
When in conversation, have a backup conversation planned, always. When
talking about a topic, let's say school, and during that conversation it triggers
something else you want to talk about, keep that in mind and wait until the
conversation finishes so you can bring that up. An "awkward silence" can only
hurt your chances of succeeding. Although, you must always remember that only
you can make it awkward. When that silence comes in you can always
compliment a physical feature. It may be their outfit, shoes, shirt, jewelry… just
about anything. This silence can be deadly so always be prepared.
Also, remember that people love to talk about similar interests. Some people
don’t have the time to watch TV or movies so that can be a hit or miss.
Everybody on the other hand has to eat. People love food. So, by asking if
someone has eaten somewhere, you can spark up a never-ending conversation.
You can always ask, “If you could only eat at one place for the rest of your life,
where would it be?” Who knows, maybe at the end of the conversation you can
even use this as an excuse to go out and grab lunch together!

Passionate
Being passionate and being confident go hand-in-hand. Whether you are
talking about your work or you are talking about your dog, be passionate about it
because it shows that you care. When talking about your hometown or your
work, be proud of it. Nobody wants to hear how you are stuck at some dead end
9-5 job that you have no chance of being promoted at. When you meet someone
you are supposed to make things exciting. Not burden them with your problems!
So let’s just say for example that you work at a mediocre restaurant. When
asked about your work, be happy you work there, and if you can’t come up with
anything positive to say about the restaurant, you still have good things you can
say about your coworkers. With practice, you’ll learn how to perfect the ways of
talking positively and passionately. People love people who are excited to speak
about a topic, so don’t be bland! Speak up, articulate your words, and most
importantly be excited about it!
I can’t emphasize enough that everyone needs to perfect their craft. Some of
us work multiple jobs and just don’t have the time. My advice for them is this: if
you don’t want to work multiple jobs for the rest of your life, you’ll make time!
While driving to work or home from school, think about your plan in life and
what you need to do to get there. If you do something you love, it is a lot easier
to be passionate about it. Happiness is contagious. When you are speaking about
something passionately, people will feed off of your excitement and enjoy your
presence more. 

Sports Center
A big part of my development into the social butterfly I am today was being
able to make nothing into something. This skill got a lot better when I got into
sports. It all started with the King himself, Lebron James coming down to play
for the Miami Heat. I was a big Lebron fan ever since he played in high school.
Even when he went to play for Cleveland I was a big fan. Then when he came
down to Miami it all changed. I always root for my home teams but now; I
would never miss another Heat game.
Watching basketball at home is great because the commentators really fill you
in on information you would never know about. In the same year that Lebron
came down to play for the Heat my friends invited me to join their Fantasy
football league. If you don’t know how this works I’ll try now to explain to the
best of my ability. It all starts with you creating your team in a draft. Your
Fantasy team is made up with a bunch of offensive players usually from different
teams, a kicker, and a team’s defense. Your team plays once a week (just like
football) and whenever a player on your fantasy team’s offense catches the ball
or scores a touchdown you get points. If your fantasy defense gets a sack or
interception you also get points. You are playing another person in your league
every week’s fantasy team until you get to the finals and the season finishes.
When watching real football you are not rooting for the teams but you are
rooting for your players on different teams in different games. This gave me
interest in watching a bunch of different football games because it gave me
people to root for. Before the only team I was rooting for was the Dolphins and
that wasn’t any fun. So by now I was getting pretty knowledgeable about sports
but had one more thing left to top it all off; SportsCenter.
SportsCenter is a show on ESPN where all they talk about is Sports, from
tennis, to hockey, to soccer, to basketball, to everything! Any sport you can think
of SportsCenter covers it. I learned quickly when watching SportsCenter that it
can be extremely useful. I saw myself mentioning statistics and facts on players
in conversation and using it to Segway into different conversation. From
experience, a terrible feeling is being left out in conversation. Believe me I knew
that feeling really well in high school but not anymore! I also started to listen to
1.043 the Ticket Sports Talk radio in Miami, which was great because I would
listen to professionals’ discussions on sports all day.
Sports are so common. Everyone has a home team they root for and
everybody has seen it before. So everyone should know how to talk about it. Ask
any man what they think about a girl who knows about her sports. Believe me
anything they say will be positive (unless she’s one of those let me obnoxiously
rub it in your face how much I know about sports type of women.) Do your
research one day you’ll be able to hold conversation and use that to build
rapport. It’s another topic in which you know your stuff and can use it for good.
So join a fantasy football league and watch some SportsCenter you’ll be an
expert in no time!

Networking
Some call it meeting new people; I call it networking. Your net worth is your
network, and if you know everyone, you are worth everything. A lot of people
believe it’s not what you know but who you know, and I’m one of those people.
So go out and meet everyone possible and leave a great impression on him or
her. When you are out at an event or party and you see these people that you
want to meet, a lot of people aren’t sure how they should break the ice. Do not
use the common “What’s up?” It’s a recipe for disaster. Just be genuinely nice.
When approaching a group, I use the simple “Hey everyone, thought I’d come
over and meet some new people.” The whole time I am smiling. This works
when approaching a group of 2 to 4 people. When approaching a group of 5 or
more, it can get a little awkward if you don’t have something interesting to
follow up with right away.
That works well at an event, but at a party it is the easiest. At a party you are
in the same social circle that’s attending the party. If you want to meet someone,
you can always grab the host and have him or her introduce you. If they are any
good at introductions, chances are they will say something good about you. Be
sure you have good energy throughout this party; nobody wants to talk to a
sucker in the corner of the party with their hands in their pockets. When I say
good energy I don’t mean get wasted. I’m talking about smiling, dancing, having
something interesting to say, and overall having a great presence. Be sure to have
a business card handy. You never know when someone may ask you for one, and
there is no worse feeling than being asked and not having one. Just be sure to not
throw it in people’s faces, and if you do give a card, afterwards be sure to put
their number in your phone. Most people don’t follow up on business cards
(especially if they didn’t give you one) unless they actually want to do business
with you. Women this one is for you. There is no greater feeling than you giving
a guy a business card and him not having one to give you back. It shows that you
are a young professional and it makes him feel like he’s not on the top of his
game.
 

Only you can make it Awkward
Remember, whenever put in a situation that most people would consider
awkward, just laugh about it. No need to get embarrassed because at the end of
the day it already happened, and it's already over. Also, when you are put in a
situation where an ex-or old hook up comes into the picture and you are with a
new date, do not panic. Smile and introduce them to each other. Whenever
approached by a past lover, they understand that the time you had with them is in
the past, unless they are crazy. If you politely introduce them, put a smile on
your face; the situation will not get out of hand, and you will stay in control.
Always keep your cool. For the second you lose control you lose it all. Be
calm, take deep breaths, and don’t stress out because you are in charge of your
life. When it is all said and done, all you have is the memory of what happened.
Some of us choose to remember some things and choose to forget. Just know
that when this “uncomfortable situation” is done, it can be forgotten.
Awkwardness should be taken out of your vocabulary because you no longer
believe it exists. Some things can be uncomfortable, but time will cure that.
Don’t overstress anything and stay in control. Remember, only you can make it
awkward!

 Bend the truth
You might not live the most luxurious life. You may not have ridiculous
nights. You may not be the most interesting person in the world, but nobody
wants to hear stories about a mediocre night, or even a mediocre life. When put
in a situation where you control the microphone, bend the truth to your favor. It
works a lot better in text message because you aren’t bending the truth as you
go; you can actually think it out. From his or her perspective, you should be the
most interesting and fun person in the world. You should be the person who has
never experienced a bad time. Nobody wants to hang out with the people who
are negative, boring, or just don’t know how to enjoy him or herself.
For example, if you have ever seen the movie Superbad, there is a scene
where a girl is talking to Michael Cera, and he’s trying to be cool. She asked
why he didn’t go to a party last Saturday (he wasn’t invited and he responded
that he was doing other fun stuff.) When she asked him to elaborate he started
describing this epic night while the movie was showing what actually happened.
He bent the truth to his favor. Michael Cera’s got the right idea.

Exaggerate Everything
Always have the mentality that there is someone interested in you, and he or
she is looking. People like other people who seem to be having a good time; no
one likes the person who just sits on the couch on their phone. When talking to a
friend and he says something witty, clever, or just a simple comical observation
between the two of you, exaggerate the laugh. Laughter is nonverbal body
language for saying you are having a great time. Look at yourself in the mirror
and see how you look when doing exaggerated moves. Make sure you don't look
like an idiot. Remember, you can't see yourself doing it when it comes down to
show time, so rehearsal can help you out in the long run.
What this does is leave the impression that you are having a great time. The
people that are around you and not in the conversation, observe that you are
enjoying yourself. Remember to be careful when exaggerating. One can easily
slide to the crazy side! At the end of the day, all you need to do is stay positive.
Happiness goes a long way therefore you should exaggerate movements and
reactions so that your body exhorts it. Your aura should glow positive energy,
and this part may help you achieve that.
Ask yourself…

 Do you usually run into the awkward silence?

Do you get uncomfortable and awkward along with that silence?

Do you love your profession?

If not, what project are you working on that you’re passionate about?

Do you often meet people for the sole purpose of business?

Do you follow up with them and add them to your social circles?

Do you often publicly announce your boredom?

Or do you often bend the truth to make yourself seem a bit more interesting?
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing.
That’s why we recommend it daily.”
-Zig Ziglar
PART 3

The Alpha Being:

Becoming the best you possible
Chapter 14

Bettering Yourself
The Alpha Being
I’ve touched on this many times throughout this book, and I decided that this
is something that needs to be explained on its own. An alpha male isn’t
something you can explain in one sentence because it isn’t just one thing. An
alpha male is a real man that has multiple characteristics other men dream about
having. An alpha male is in peak physical shape. He is strong and athletic, which
is appealing to the opposite sex. When danger comes knocking, the alpha male is
there and can defend himself, his family, or even the people around him. The
alpha male can entertain. He is funny and can have a group of strangers hanging
on his every word. You want to strive to be an alpha male.
The alpha male has many interesting stories to tell because the alpha has
experienced life. He has made mistakes, but who hasn’t? He can turn those
mistakes into humor and a learning experience. The alpha male is persistent.
Quitting is out of his head, for if he wants something he gets it. The alpha male
does not know what fear is for he is courageous. He knows fear exists, but
chooses to overlook it and fight it every chance he gets. The alpha male might be
superior to all other men, but he is still humble. He has the ability to laugh at
himself and stay down to earth. He is educated. Education does not mean that
you have a degree, but he can hold himself in intellectual conversation with
those who master their craft.
The alpha male has a purpose in his life. While others wander around life
trying to figure it out, the alpha male is there perfecting his craft and creating
himself. Every day he is one step closer to his goals. He never wanders, he
travels, and everyone around him can see that. When he speaks he understands
that his words have value. He doesn’t talk just to talk; he picks the words to say
carefully. He understands that he has power and respects it. He never abuses it,
for he always remains humble. The alpha male is never the loudest person in the
room. He only speaks when he has something to contribute. He is a man’s man.
Not saying he is the toughest or a hard person to like, but he is someone you
wouldn’t mind hanging out with or drinking a beer with.
Alpha males fail, but they don’t fail like regular people. They fail and create a
learning experience from it. They are leaders but not by telling people what to
do. Instead, they lead by example. They are caring and generous; the first to help
their fellow man and woman. The alpha male is a genuine person. He doesn’t go
out of his way to make sure everyone is happy, but, instead, does his part and
contributes when he can. He doesn’t care for other people’s opinions. He does
respect his woman, cherishes the ground she walks on, but that is because she
herself is an alpha woman. He knows how to pick her. He doesn’t pick a woman
who controls his life or gets jealous over the small things. He picks a woman that
betters him.
The alpha male has style and class. He is up to date with the latest fashion and
starts some of his own trends in the meantime. He knows exactly who he is and
doesn’t need to pretend to be something that he is not. He is not a worrier but a
warrior. He doesn’t start fights, for he isn’t a bully. He never attacks, but he will
defend. He stands his ground and avoids conflict when he can, but if the
situation calls for it, he will never back down.
Most importantly, the alpha male does not try to be an alpha male. He
becomes the best man he can possibly be for him and him only. Not to satisfy the
opinion of others, but only to be able to contribute more in this world. He lives
each day that goes by as if it were his last by giving more to this world than he
takes. Strive to be this man for the world could use more alphas. Don’t do it for
the girl. Don’t do it for the promotion. Do it for yourself. Do it so you can be the
best you that you can possibly be and so that you can help change this world for
the better. For when your time is up, the world will know that it was you who
made all the difference.
 

Fitness
If you have taken the time to get this far into the book, then you are already
committed to the change. The best advice I can give you is to exercise.
Personally I go to the gym and lift weights because it requires the least amount
of work, and I get the maximum results from it. But, if I were like the majority
of people whose body type isn’t like mine and aren’t naturally skinny, I would
join Crossfit. Crossfit will not only get you lean, which nowadays should be the
body type you aim for, but it will shoot your confidence through the roof.
Fitness isn’t a change; it’s a lifestyle. Weigh the pros and cons of exercising
and eating healthy. I promise that one side will tremendously outweigh the other.
Also, for men, being physically fit puts you in the status of an “Alpha Male,”
which almost all women are attracted too.
Fitness has several benefits. Here are a couple mind-blowing attributes that
should persuade you to join the change:
1. It reverses the detrimental effects of stress
2. It fights against depression
3. It improves your ability to learn
4. It builds self-esteem and improves body image
5. It leaves you feeling euphoric
6. It keeps your brain fit
7. May prevent Alzheimer’s
Make the change now because the sooner you do it, the sooner you will see
results. Fitness isn’t a quick change; it’s a lifestyle! So put effort into it and in a
couple of months, maybe even weeks, you will understand why it will all pay
off. 

Video Games
Video games: everyone loves them. The downside to playing video games is
that it is counterproductive. Throughout high school when I wasn’t being social,
I was playing video games. What I learned from my experience is after all the
time I put into this game, when I put down the remote, what did I get? Nothing.
When I came to this realization I put down the controller, picked up books to
educate myself, giving myself more topics to be able to speak about. Read up on
current events; it shows that you are intelligent. It’s always nice when someone
brings up an obscure topic that they think nobody knows about and you drop a
couple facts on it. Just remember, when you are old, retired, and have all the
time in the world on your hands, the video games are going to be so advanced
that you can live vicariously through your Night Elf Warrior.
 

Name, Rinse and Repeat
For a person, what is the sweetest and greatest word in any language that they
love to hear? Their name. I have many friends who just can't remember names.
You may be an out-of-towner that is being introduced to a handful of people, and
it makes it difficult to remember them all, which is when the “Rinse and Repeat”
method comes into play. When first introduced to someone, repeat his or her
name to him or her a bunch of times so it appears that you are making an effort.
Then, a little later in the night (or day), mention their name one more time, and
whoever it may be will know that you took the time to learn their name. Do that
to the handful of people you meet that night. Remember, you might be meeting 5
people, but those 5 people are meeting just 1. They will remember yours. You
might forget their name by the next morning, but thanks to the rinse and repeat
method all you need to do is remember their face. If worst comes to worst, next
time you see them and you are put in a predicament where you need to know
their name, just ask politely. When they tell you, immediately respond with “Ah,
I knew it!” Then apologize and explain that when you first met them, you met a
bunch of people. Then move on in the conversation. On behalf of humans
everywhere, I would like to say that we would much rather be asked what our
name is for the fifth time than you not know our name at all. It's not our fault
your dumb ass can't remember a name.

  Get Informative
In every conversation there is a point where the other person you are talking to
gets comfortable with you. When you have reached this point of conversation,
you are golden. Mostly because at this point you can just continue being
informative and ask them a bunch of questions to get to know them. People love
talking about themselves, women especially. Remember, the more you practice,
the better you get at it. The more you talk to people and ask questions the more
responses you will see. With this you develop experience and know what the go-
to questions to ask are. I am from Miami so the usual go-to questions are: who is
your favorite DJ? Have you seen this DJ? Have you been to this club or that
club? Getting someone comfortable with you requires you to ask him or her
more personal questions about family, school, and so on. At the end of the
conversation, do not be surprised if the person you are conversing with says “It
was really fun talking to you. We should do it again sometime!” That’s because
the conversation was all about them.
EX: I had a friend named Dre who was colorblind, and he told me his go to
line when talking to a woman at a bar. He casually would mention he was
colorblind. He then told a funny story about how one day he was picking an
outfit out of his closet and grabbed a shirt to later realize it was the color pink.
That caused a laugh with the girl. Then he says, “enough about me. Let’s talk
about you,” and asked a question. This is an example of being informative and
utilizing your bag of tricks.

Confidence is KEY
Are you the type of person that can’t approach the opposite sex and start
conversation? Or when you know the answer to a question in class, but you are
afraid to raise your hand? With time and practice you can learn how to be
confident. How, you may ask? Well once upon a time, I wasn’t the most
confident person in the world unless I was speaking to my nerd friends about
video games. People who meet me and ask me what my sign is are usually
surprised when I tell them I’m a cancer. The cancer sign is the crab, which can
express how shy they are; they hide out in their shell. You must be wondering
how I changed this awful attribute of mine for the better. Well the easiest answer
to that is… I faked it.
Time and time again, whenever put in a situation where I would be speaking
to strangers, I would ask myself how would a confident person act in this
situation? When checking into a hotel I would start small talk with the person at
the front desk, or when buying groceries I would strike up conversation in a
positive manner with the cashier. Over time I realized, after impersonating
someone who was confident, I was becoming that confident person. Today, I
suffer from zero approach anxiety and experience absolutely no fear of rejection.
We will go more in-depth in the next part in this book on body language, but
for now I am going to touch upon the subject. It’s been proven that if you hold a
dominant pose it can increase the levels of testosterone that develops in your
body, which can in turn increase confidence. What I am trying to get at here is
that your body language can change how you behave. Amy Cuddy had a TED
talk, which I strongly recommend you watch when you get the chance. She
spoke about how your body changes your mind. An example she used was when
you bite down on a pen, it makes you happy. Why is that? It forces you to smile,
which if you read the section on Facial Feedback, it will make you happy.
Amy’s study revealed that smiling makes you happier and holding a
dominant/power stance will make you feel dominant, powerful, and confident.
Your body can change your mind, so use this to your advantage. After some time
pretending to be confident, your body will eventually trick your mind into
actually becoming confident. Just remember W.W.C.D. What would confidence
do? Ask yourself what a confident person would do, and in time watch yourself
evolve into that person. You will soon need to ask W.W.Y.D. What would you
do?
Confidence is the key to bettering yourself as a person. Confidence is what
separates the boys from the men. Even confidence in women makes them appear
sexier. With the right amount of confidence and mystery, you can be perceived
as a very powerful human being. Not through success or money but with
character. People will be intrigued by you. If you are a woman, they will wonder,
“who is this person?” If you are a man, they might wonder, “what family did he
come from?” Exercise being confident, with time you will be able to conquer the
world.
With practice and time, you can naturally become confident. Once you accept
the fact that you are changing bodies to become someone else and practice being
happy/comfortable with yourself, your confidence will grow. Wake up every
morning, look in the mirror, and hype yourself up! Tackle each day as if you are
the MVP going into a game 7 final. With repetition this can soon become
something natural. 

Body Language
One study at UCLA indicated that up to 93 percent of communication
effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues. How much of an advantage do
you think you would have if you knew how to read these nonverbal cues?
Advancements in technology have forever changed the way that we
communicate with each other. Nowadays in the modern world, it’s easy to forget
how to communicate face-to-face. When conversing in person, it’s not only
verbal communication that matters but also what comes from our nonverbal cues
as well.
Body language in itself is a language. With practice, you can learn how to
speak this language. When reading your own body language you’ll realize you
were doing things you never realized before. In this part I will provide a series of
lists and gestures that can help better your skill of reading body language.

Head

The lowering of someone’s head can be shown as a sign that they lack
confidence. If they lower their head while receiving a compliment it can
 express that they are shy.
The touching of someone’s own ear can express indecisiveness.
When a smile isn’t forced and is expressed naturally you can see the
expression throughout the entire face (even the eyes). While a fake smile is
only seen around the mouth.
Tilting your own head can show that you are interested in either something
or someone, while overly tilting can be a sign of sympathy.
A nod from a listener expresses that they are paying attention and that they
are genuinely interested. Although, too much nodding can show that the
listener is being polite but has lost interest.
It’s been shown that touching of the nose can express rejection of an idea or
statement and can also imply doubtfulness.
The playing with or stroking of the chin can mean that the person is trying
to make a decision, while rubbing on a cheek can express that person is
thinking.
While rubbing on a chin can express thinking, having the chin pointing
outwards toward someone can express resistance.

Upper Body

Proper posture, having one’s shoulders pushed back, can express power,
courage, and confidence.
While open arms expresses that one is comfortable with the speaker, closed
arms express the opposite, as if they are creating some sort of block or
barricade between both parties.
Touching certain parts of the neck can express different things. Touching of
the front of the neck shows interest but concern in what they are saying,
while resting arms behind the neck shows they enjoy what is being
discussed and would like to listen to more.
The pointing of a finger can be seen as aggression.
When the open hand is faced outwards towards someone, it shows that they
do not want that person to approach. Sort of a way of saying stop.
Movements of arms and hands going upwards and outwards express
positivity.
 With both hands touching each other by the fingertips, not interlaced, it
expresses thinking and evaluating.

Lower Body

Hands on the hips expresses that you are eager.

Hips pushed forward, pushing private regions forward, and leaning back
can show that one feels powerful.
When people’s feet are spread far apart, covering more ground than usual,
they feel as if they are dominating their area and it signifies more power.
When people sit with their legs apart, they tend to feel comfortable with the
setting they are in, while crossed legs can mean many things. Depending on
how tense the muscles are, they can show that individuals are comfortable
or that they are in defense-mode.
If your legs are crossed while facing someone, it shows that you are
interested in what they are saying, more interest than if they were crossed
away from them.
A position that makes you feel powerful is the common position where
one’s ankle is on top of the other leg’s knee. Forming a sort of right angle
between both legs.

Eyes

Looking upwards can express thinking

Holding eye contact can express dominance, while not looking at another
person in the eyes can express a lack of confidence.
When someone feels insulted, they usually break eye contact and look
away. Also, when you become irritated, you break eye contact and look
sideways.
Looking directly into someone’s eyes expresses self-assurance.
Lowering of one’s eyes can express negative feelings such as guilt or fear.
Non-alphas do this a lot.

 While lowering the eyebrows, it expresses that one is attempting to
understand what is being said.
When eyes widen, it shows there is more of an interest in either the person
or the subject of conversation.

So now you know the basics in reading people; what now? You need to
learn how to apply them to better yourself in the art of body language. I have
compiled a list of easy go-to moves to better your body language:

Space Invader- you need to give this person their space. The last thing you
want to be known for is being a space invader. People are non-
confrontational, so they won’t express that they are uncomfortable with
how close you are to them when speaking. So make it a point to give them
their space.
Keep your drink away- if there does come a point where you are drinking,
make sure you keep it low. I personally like having a drink in my hands, but
do not have it held in front of your face. Also make sure your drink isn’t
filled to the top to reduce chances of it spilling.
Hand movements- a powerful tool that gets unnoticed. Use it positively to
paint a picture of what you are saying. Be sure not to overuse your gestures
for it can be distracting. Using your hands in conversation makes for better
storytelling, conversation, and expresses confidence.
Quit the sudden movements- anywhere from shaking your leg or tapping it
with your hands, you need to cut these fidgets out of the equation. It
expresses being nervous and can also be distracting in conversation. Just
relax.
Slow down- In reference to your movements. The slower your body
movements, the calmer you are. You are well composed and comfortable.
Slowing down your walk shows you are comfortable with whoever you are
walking with.
Keep your head up- doing this shows you are confident. At the end of the
day, all you want to do is radiate confidence!
Don’t touch your face- touching of the face can be a distraction and can also
express that you are nervous. Certain parts of the face are okay to touch,
like the bottom of your chin, but for the most part you want to stay away
from the face unless you are touching someone else’s because that
 expresses intimacy. Do your best not to be creepy about it.
Smile and laugh- keeping a good attitude is crucial. Taking yourself too
seriously can hurt you in the long run. You need to relax. As long as you
stay positive mentally, your body will express this physically. As you
remain positive, people will be more inclined to befriend you and listen to
you.
No slouching- good posture expresses power, while slouching expresses
being uncomfortable. You want to have good posture but remain
comfortable at the same time. Be in a position where you can move easily if
need be. When someone expresses something you are interested in, lean in
for a closer ear. It shows that you are genuinely interested.
Nod when others are talking- as explained earlier, nodding expresses that
you are listening, but remember that excessive nodding expresses lost
interest in the conversation.
Don’t be afraid to take up some space- as explained previously, taking up
space expresses dominance. Don’t be afraid to take over some ground and
hold it for it shows that you are powerful. Make yourself comfortable, and
once you are comfortable, hold it down.
Hold eye contact- as explained numerous times throughout this book,
holding eye contact is important! It expresses power and dominance.

 
Now you know what you can do to better your body language. The following
is a list, which you should use as a cheat sheet for practice. You can apply this
cheat sheet to people you are interacting with. This list shows the good and bad
body signs that you may perceive from someone in conversation.

Facial Feedback
The brain is a powerful machine, and we will never fully grasp its capabilities.
It’s been said that we only use 10% of our brain, and if we were able to use
100% we would have powers like telekinesis. As powerful as the brain is, there
is something I have learned; it can be tricked. The facial feedback hypothesis
states that facial movements can influence emotional experience. So an
individual who forces a smile upon his face in a social gathering will actually
come to find the event more of an enjoyable experience. It is something I have
done throughout the majority of my life, and I live a very happy one. When you
are happy the brain tells you to smile, so when your brain sees that you are
smiling it thinks it’s happy even when it’s not. When out and about in public
situations, force a smile on your face; it makes you less threatening to approach,
and people see that you are happy. Who doesn’t want to be around the person
who’s happy all the time?

Nice guys finish last Awesome guys finish on her face Shy guys
finish with their hands
Practice your game. You will get nowhere if you just sit across the room and
act like a spectator. Like I said earlier, it’s either you fit in or stand out, and I
would much rather stand out. Not all of us have the luxury of being 6 feet tall,
have incredible hair that blows in the wind, or even a perfectly sculpted body
when they eat unhealthily every day, but we all do have the ability to talk. If you
are part of the minority that would rather fit in, then I'm sorry to break it to you,
but you won't be getting friends to line around the block for you. The way most
men define their status of success in life is by their occupational status. Most
women do the same but they also define their status of success with their life
partner. No woman wants to be with a beta. A woman wants an alpha. Just
remember this famous mantra when debating whether to approach a person:
practice makes perfect. How do you expect to improve your game if you are just
sitting on the bleachers and not showing up to practice?

Dancing
I feel that this may need to be a part in itself because it is very important!
Everyone on this planet may love and hate different things. There is one thing
everyone loves and that is music. When listening to music, the only thing we can
do is sing-along and dance. Dancing is part of our everyday lives, and it gives us
the ability to interact with other people in a positive manner. Combining both the
sing-along and dance can prove to be a powerful weapon. Most women know
how to dance because they can do it and not feel insecure. Guys on the other
hand, have this problem of feeling insecure all of the time. Do not be afraid!
Follow the girl’s lead and set yourself free. If you are a bad dancer but you are
trying, it shows that you don’t care what others think and you are here to have
fun. If you are a good dancer and the person recognizes that, you my friend are
golden!
 For some people dancing comes naturally. For others, it’s similar to rhythm;
you either have it or you don’t. I know reading a book for some of you might be
a lot already but consider taking dancing lessons. It benefits you in two ways.
One, you are out and improving yourself as a person. Two, you are meeting new
people. This book is trying to get you out of your comfort zone in the hopes that
you can eventually become comfortable in every zone. Consider this advice. It
will benefit you in the future, especially whenever the day comes and you have
to dance at your wedding!
Ask yourself…

Do you consider yourself an Alpha?

Do you work out? Why not?

Do you play video games?

Have you ever picked playing video games over socializing and meeting new
people?

Do you have trouble remembering names??

Do you make a constant effort to remember them?

“We become what we think about.”
-Earl Nightingale
Chapter 15

How to Look Good

Dress to impress
I once had a friend who had the worst fashion sense ever. He was terrible at
matching his outfits, and his selection was just awful. But he always tried. One
day, he got his tax returns and got a lot of money that he never thought he’d see
again. So, what did he do with it? He bought himself 7 different colored 3 piece
suits. Now, everywhere he goes he wears a suit. Even when we are hanging out
at a house just watching a Miami Heat game, you can count on him being in a
suit. There is one thing I have learned from him: it is better to be overdressed
than underdressed.
I personally don’t go out and wear suits everyday, but whenever I leave my
place, I look at the mirror to make sure that I look as fly as possible. If you don’t
know how to dress yourself, do some research. It’ll better you as a person and
make you look more intriguing, which leads to people being more likely to
approach you. I understand that not all of us can go out and spend thousands of
dollars on a new wardrobe, but there are ways around it. Do some research, buy
a magazine of GQ, and replicate the look at any department store. Forever 21,
Zara, Nordstrom, H&M, and online stores like www.jackthreads.com are great,
affordable examples.
I used to believe that shoes were the least important part of the outfit because
when you’re talking to someone, you should never look down (you should be
keeping eye contact!). Thanks to my older brother, I realized how wrong I was.
When a woman checks out your outfit, she starts at the shoes and moves her way
up. The shoes are actually the first thing most women look at. I understand that
most of us don’t have the luxury of being able to afford a new pair of shoes for
each outfit, but there are ways around that. Every man should have at least 3 pair
of shoes. Black shoes, brown shoes, and nice black dress shoes. Most men
already have these pairs. When buying a new pair of shoes, be sure to select a
color that goes with most of your outfits. Always remember to dress to impress
because you never know who you will be casually running into that day.
Most people, when they are going out, are expected to dress as nice as
possible especially when going out to a club, bar, or lounge. So, when going out
for daytime errands, be sure to dress your best. If you run into someone or meet
someone by coincidence and you give off the impression that you have a sense
of style, especially since it’s only Tuesday afternoon, that impression is going to
stick with him or her. Then, when you run into that person out at a social
gathering where people are expected to dress well and they see you overdressed
as always, they will have no excuse but to believe that you have a great sense of
style.
It’s been said that the color of your clothes represents you in a way. For
example, red is power, and white is purity. Well here’s a list of colors with the
attributes those colors have been known to be associated with.

RED- Dominance, power, attention, sexual energy, health, determination,

passion, persistence, excitement, strength
PINK- Upbeat, good health, calming, friendly, compassionate, faithful,
femininity, calm
ORANGE- Happy, courageous, successful, enthusiastic, bold,
adventuresome, friendliness, warmth, informality, welcoming, movement,
energy
BROWN- Informal, reliable, approachable, relaxed, stability, earthy
YELLOW- Anxiety, alert, optimistic, confident, stimulating, enthusiastic,
playful, cheerful, communicative, expressive, intelligent
GREEN- Relaxing, compassion, prosperity, prestige, growth, abundance,
money, vitality, harmony, efficiency
AQUA- motivated, active, dynamic
TURQUOISE- Refreshing, cool, imaginative, innovative, youthful
BLUE- Loved, high regard, knowledge, authority, trust, serious,
responsibility, peace, social status, caring, good health, tranquil, intuitive,
happiness, calm, honest, loyalty, integrity
LIGHT BLUE- Peaceful, sincere, affectionate
INDIGO- Knowledge, power, integrity
PURPLE- Spiritual, passionate, visionary, regal, powerful, respected,
dignified, luxurious
LAVENDER- Romantic, imaginative, fantasy
MAGENTA- Outrageous, imaginative, innovative
 GOLD- Illumination, wisdom, prestige, expensive
SILVER- Prestige, cold, scientific
BLACK- Elegance, authority, dignity, sophistication, seductive, mystery
GRAY- Smart, class, efficiency, sophisticated, confidence
WHITE-Virtue, fertility, clean, status, purity

As you are reading this, you are probably starting to realize that most of this
makes sense. These are the attributes associated with these colors. Use them to
express how you feel that day, or use them for a topic of conversation.
Personally, my favorite color is red, and the attributes that I found that are
associated with red are pretty good! Although, all these colors have positive
attributes. Find the one that looks best on you and most importantly makes you
feel great.
 

Fresh to Death
We as human beings, use our senses to tell whether or not something is
pleasing to us. We see a beautiful girl, and our sense of sight says we like it. We
get slightly turned on by a brush on the elbow because the sense of touch says
we like it. If we take a whiff of a girl’s breath and it reeks of scallops, then
chances are we can’t stand it. The same works for us! An immediate turn off is
bad breath! Let that be known. If you have it, there are some simple ways to
changing it.

Mints & Gum

Unfortunately for some of us, gum and mints don’t cut it. Either way, we
should always have it in our pocket for emergencies. A minty breath is a lot
better than a crappy smelling one. For those who just naturally have bad breath,
here are a couple tips you can do to prevent it.

Brush your teeth at least two times a day. Make sure that one is always
when you wake up, and the other always when you go to bed. I usually
brush three times a day. The third being right before I go out to anywhere
important.
 Floss everyday.
Buy a tongue scraper and use it frequently.
Use mouthwash throughout the day. This can be used as a get out of jail
free card, since most bathrooms have this available.
Chew tea tree oil toothpick throughout the day.
Oil pulling every morning.1
If none of these work you should go see your dentist as soon as possible.

Another key to success is a white smile! If you smoke cigarettes, I am not

telling you how to live your life, but you should consider quitting or switching to
electronic cigarettes. Mostly because you will feel healthier, smell better, and
your teeth will be whiter. The following are some tips and tricks I use to keep
my teeth white!

Brush every day. I use extra whitening Colgate toothpaste to whiten my

teeth. It freshens my breath and whitens my teeth. Two birds one stone!
Floss! Flossing removes the extra food and gunk from in between your
teeth that can lead to bad breath and can also lead to you harming your
teeth.
Use the toothpick. After dinner dates excuse yourself to the bathroom so
that you have an opportunity to make sure there is no food or leftovers
stuck in between your teeth. This can make or break the chance for date
number 2.
Crest White Strips. You’d be surprised how much this actually works. Do it
daily for a month and you will see your teeth move a couple shades whiter!
Teeth Whitening. Although this process might be a little expensive, if you
can afford it, I suggest you do it!
Dr. Oz Teeth Whitening Home Remedy: ¼ cup of baking soda, lemon juice
from half of a lemon. Apply with cotton ball or Q-Tip. Leave on for no
longer than 1 minute, and then brush teeth to remove.
Gargling hydrogen peroxide I have learned is a great way to whiten teeth
JUST DO NOT SWALLOW IT!

Shoes
 The biggest kept secret from everyone everywhere. Shoes are so important
that I need to make another part about them! You can have the greatest outfit
ever, but without the proper shoes, with minor coloring to tie it all together, you
just look good. You don’t want to look good. You want to look outstanding! You
want to leave an impression that you are the most stylish and well-dressed
person in the room. Remember it is better to be overdressed than underdressed.
I never realized how important shoes are until I started wearing nice shoes out.
I would always get compliments on the shoes no matter how nice my outfit was.
When I started wearing different colored shoes that matched my shirt, that’s
when the real compliments started coming in. After that happened, I quit
wearing sandals entirely.
Shoes are the first thing a woman notices when she sees your outfit. She starts
from the bottom and moves up (started from the bottom now we here.) Little
things make a big difference.
Here are a couple shoe tips that I can give you:

Never wear sandals out especially at night.

Gym shoes are nice… for the gym. Keep those types of shoes for activities
only. Do not wear gym shoes out at night, at a friend’s house maybe. Just
remember that the nicer you are dressed at casual events (a friend’s house),
the better the impression will be left by you on others.
If you are on a budget and you need to buy shoes, always go with black
since they match more outfits.
Boots and pointed shoes can be risky, so make sure you get multiple
opinions before wearing them out.
Pointed leather shoes look good with fitted jeans. Just remember, though, at
the end of the day, when in doubt, overdress.

Sense of Smell
To women, their perfect man has to appeal to every sense that they have. They
need to appear beautiful to their eyes, sound soothing to their ears, run goose
bumps when experiencing their touch, and especially smell unique whenever
brought close to their nose. Stay hygienic. There is nothing in this world that can
beat something that smells delicious. If you smell better than the competition,
you are already a step ahead of them. I have also heard that, if you wear the
same cologne as the father of the girl you are trying to impress, it usually works
in your favor.
The following list contains the top colognes on the market for men in no
particular order

212
Hugo by Hugo Boss
Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren
Gucci
Weekend Burberrys
YSL (Smells great but short duration)
Drakkar
Armani
Claiborne Sport by Liz Claiborne
360
Dolce & Gabbana
Fahrenheit by Christian Dior
Cool Water
CK1 by Calvin Klein
Eternity for Men by Calvin Klein
Tommy by Hilfiger
Nautica Green
Black Jeans by Versace
Fuck Oil by Dusty
Fruits and Passions

Women, for as long as I can remember, love cosmetics. They take care of
themselves more in a day than any man does in a week. Women are more
conscious to smell than men because they have been taking care of their bodies
for many years. So any efforts you undertake to control and make yourself better
will not go unnoticed. If you don’t use aftershave, I suggest you start. Women
tend to smell this and love it when they are able to guess what brand you use,
which leads to my next point. You should use a popular brand that may be easier
for them to recognize because if they do, they will immediately gain interest in
you. It provides a topic for you to talk about and leaves them feeling at home.
Most men don’t use aftershave, so this helps give you a leg up on the
competition.
The list that was just provided is the list of the top colognes, which means
that they are popular, and women have a higher chance of recognizing them. Do
not hesitate to ask women their opinion on cologne and aftershave. Experiment
and see what reaction you get. I use three colognes: one is for daytime hanging
out; another is a sportier type; and another for nighttime socializing. Also, don’t
forget, if the brand is popular as a cologne, it is most likely popular as an
aftershave as well.
Ask yourself…
 

Do you have a good sense of style?

Do you frequently get complimented on your outfits?

Do you ever leave the house in pajamas?

Do you go out of your way to dress up?

What cologne/perfume do you currently use?

Do you get compliments on your smell?

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Do you ever see yourself surrounding your whole outfit around your shoes?

1 www.oilpuling.com
Chapter 16

A Better Person
BE HONEST
Ever heard the phrase “Honesty is the best policy?” Well it is. It’s the truth
that will set you free. One thing that I have learned is that, if you are being
truthful, you won’t be in the wrong, unless you did something really fucked up.
As long as you stay positive and honest, nothing can ever bite you in the future. I
have lost countless amounts of friends because of lies, and in the end it really is
not worth it. I have learned that people can’t be mad or hold a grudge if you are
being honest.
If you are involved romantically with someone, honesty is a must. Do not lie
to him or her because eventually it will all get back at you. You may have
hooked up with another person the other night, and you feel like your current
relationship is going to find out. If you tell them, it is a lot better than them
finding out from someone else. You can even tell them the truth and say that you
didn’t want to hide anything from them. Honesty and apologies, when properly
used together, can be powerful tools. When being honest keep the details to a
minimum. Remember: less is more. If they ask questions, always, and I repeat
always, be honest. Guys, remember that women hate feeling crazy As long as
you talk in a reasonable tone and explain everything thoroughly to them, then
there will be no repercussions. You will be fine. Just please remember to be
gentle with her. I warn you to NOT be brutally honest.
 

Talk Highly & Cut Negativity
There will come a day, if you haven’t experienced it already, when you say
something about someone, and it gets back to him or her. Unfortunately, in this
world a lot of conversations have to do with people. People tend to be the topic
of conversation because there are so many of them. So, when talking about
people, make sure you say nothing negative. You never know when that one
person in the group is going to run off and tell on you. Be the devil’s advocate
and go against any negative talk about people. Talk highly and point out the
positive features about that person. If someone finds out a bunch of people were
talking poorly about him or her and you were defending them, believe me, you
will forever be in their good graces.
EX: There was this girl I was in love with that lived in New York. Whenever
she came to Miami, I made it a priority to be with her and I would never pick
anyone over her. By huge coincidence, when she came down to Miami one year,
she randomly met the girl I was dating at the time. They went out and met up
with me without knowing that I knew both of them. When we met up it caught
me by a huge surprise. I didn’t know what to say so I let them hang out and
enjoy the night. Afterwards, for the first time I picked someone over the girl
from New York. It was the girl I was dating at the time. She told me that the girl
from New York called me a womanizer and said that I slept with a bunch of
women, along with some other things that she thought she knew. She was wrong.
Whenever she came to Miami I made her the #1 priority, so how dare she say
these things that were clearly not true about me. That was the last time I spoke to
that girl. Mostly because, if she cared the way I did about her, not one negative
thing about me should have came out of her mouth.

Chivalry is alive as long as you revive it
Those who say chivalry is dead are pathetic. Chivalry isn’t dead. It just isn’t
spoken about. Those who do romantic gestures don’t brag about them because
it’s personal. If they do brag about them, then they are just desperate for
attention. It’s the little things in life! When walking beside someone, run right
before you get to where you are going so that you can hold the door open for
them, or when someone is getting into your car (preferably of the opposite sex),
open the door for them always. The most romantic of all gestures that everyone
seems to forget is to send flowers for special occasions. I usually send flowers 2
weeks after something special was shared with a significant other. Mostly
because it reminds her of the time we shared. It doesn’t need to be Valentine’s
Day to send that person flowers. So put down the video games, suit up, and wine
and dine someone beautiful.

Risk/Reward
Here is a solid piece of advice that I live by: Does the risk outweigh the
reward? Risk/Reward is something that everyone should keep in mind when
acting. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who don’t think this way. They
are more spontaneous than your average person. Yes, being spontaneous may be
beneficial, but it can also bring on some negative feedback.
Risk/Reward can be used in all aspects of life. You can use it in making
decisions about being social, or you can use it for decisions about work. Should I
go to the gym? Risk: I might hurt myself. Reward: I will be one day closer to
getting that body I want. There is a risk and there is definitely a reward for
everything. Compare them both and see which one outweighs which. Base your
decision on that.
In most situations, it is great to use this approach, but other times it is a
necessity to ignore it completely. After all, it is called a risk. Sometimes you just
need to go for the extra point and not settle with a tie. Big risks lead to big
rewards. I am not telling you to live by this in all decisions but definitely apply
it.  

Traits
When doing research for this book I interviewed multiple people to find out
what traits they find to be the most important in a significant other. The top 5
responses were:
1. Confidence
2. Humor
3. Ability to create a connection
4. Well-dressed/fashionable
5. Smile
These are all traits that can be worked on with practice. Confidence is
something that can be built from working out every day to look good and hyping
yourself in the mirror. You can boost your confidence with ease. Also, posture
can help tremendously. Whitening your teeth and staying fresh go hand in hand
with confidence. The better you look the better you feel!
This book is all about creating connection, and the only way you can do that is
with practice. Eventually, you will meet some people that you already have a
connection with, and you don’t need to do or overthink anything.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of being well dressed and
fashionable. Always try to be overdressed! It’s the subtle things from matching
your shoes to your shirt to wearing a bracelet that matches your watch. The
importance of being fashionable is crucial, especially when everything is
monitored and seen on social media. When it comes to humor, personally I never
thought myself to be funny, but with time I realized that, if you are confident
with what you are saying and show no signs of hesitation in your delivery, the
humor will come on its own. The thing is everyone has their own type of humor.
Some may find your humor funny, some may not; but everyone is funny in their
own way.

Just for the ladies
I’m a man that’s obvious so understand most of the advice given in this book
may be aimed towards men more than women. So it was only fair that I make a
subsection just for the ladies. The best advice I can give you is to know that you
are going to make someone very happy one day, but first you need to make sure
you’re happy. You need to understand that you are in full control of your life and
with positive energy you’ll be able to attract more positive things to your life.

Your body is a temple; don’t give it up to the first guy who buys you a drink.
How do you expect men to respect you if you don’t respect yourself? Power of
the pussy1. If you are going to hook up with somebody start it slow. Instead of
making out just give them a pop kiss. Believe me it will leave a really strong
impression on the man. Treat yourself right and make sure your path is one that
you create for yourself, not one given to you by a sugar daddy. Be your best you
and never forget how important you are.
Ask yourself…

Do you frequently lie or tell the truth?

Have you ever experienced the embarrassment of getting caught in a lie?

Do you often see yourself talking bad about people?

Would you talk bad about someone just to become friends with someone else?

Are you naturally polite?
 Do you open doors, pull out chairs, say please and thank you?

Are you cautious or spontaneous?

Do you frequently see yourself not doing certain things because it’s not worth
it?

1 Men are dogs. They’ll do anything to get with you. Use this to your advantage by withholding it from
them.
Part 4:

All The Other Good Stuff

Chapter 17

Telecommunications
TEXTING & CALLING
T
Taking your time makes you seem more important. I personally leave my
phone on silent; if I see a missed call, I'll just call the person back. The benefit of
my phone being on silent is that I don't immediately see the text message.
Remember to put thought into your text. Another advantage that texting has over
a phone call is that we are able to put a substantial amount of thought into it.
When you say something in person or on the phone, there is no backspace; there
is no going back. You always want the person you are texting to have the last
word. Studies show that the average person thinks about a text conversation
three times more when they were left saying the last word. It gives you a small
advantage since he or she was the last one to leave a message, and you did not
respond to their text. Whoever gets the last word gets ignored and will most
likely reflect on the conversation more than the individual receiving the text.
Whenever I am home late at night on a weekday and a girl asks me what I'm
doing while we are having a lengthy text conversation, I always tell her I am in
bed. What that does is it makes her picture me lying in bed looking at my
cellphone. This makes her think that she is the last thought in my head before I
close my eyes for the night. Another thing I do, since you can’t always tell them
you are lying in bed, is tell them that I just got out of the shower so that they can
picture me naked.
Remember the person you are texting has the same advantages you have.
When communicating through text message or some other medium that offers
you the ability to strategically think of what you are going to say, I have realized
in various occasions that both men and women come across as someone
completely different. I feel like they gave a friend the phone, asked them to be
smart, and witty to the person they are texting. This is the advantage of speaking
to someone in person; they can’t think 10 steps ahead. When interacting with
someone in person you are more likely to see who he or she really is. This also
works with a phone call. When I get a number for the first time, I make it a big
deal; tell them that when I call them I expect them to be very excited to hear
from me!
 From time to time I believe it is important to interact on the phone. It makes
the other person more comfortable hearing your voice. It’s different than seeing a
bunch of letters combined into a message that is usually read with the voice
within their head and not your own. Nowadays since we have unlimited text
messages, it’s next to impossible to make a phone call and not have a purpose for
it. It seems that when someone calls you, you immediately think to yourself;
what does this person want? If they want to just have a conversation, they will
send you a text, but I will find any reason possible to have a phone conversation.
I guess some people consider me old fashioned in that regard.
Remember, when you are making a phone call, if there is an “awkward
silence,” end the conversation and hang up. That is the advantage you have with
a phone call because in real life and texting you can’t say goodbye and
completely end the interaction. When working as a promoter on South Beach, I
learned a valuable lesson: always send a text message that encourages the
recipient to respond. The typical “hey” and “what’s up” only gets you so far. In
the beginning when people are first getting to know someone and don’t know
how to break the ice, these default text messages get used. On the other end of
the spectrum, the “hey” and “what’s up” texts can be powerful tools. If you just
want to have a conversation with someone and see where it leads you, something
as simple as a “hey” can work. Just remember that it is easy to send, as it is to
ignored.
Towards the end of the night when I am saying my farewells to people, my
favorite thing to do is tell them to text me when they get home. It is a polite way
to show them that you care that they got home safe. Also, when they do reach
out to you, it gives you an opportunity to speak about the night and remind them
how nice it was to see them. You can always ignore it and use it as an excuse to
text them in the morning, which can lead to conversation throughout the day.
Blame it on your phone dying or that it fell between the seats of your car!
 

Past VS Future
Dating in the present is completely different from back in the day. Back then,
you would meet someone, and if you didn't exchange phone numbers with them,
chances were that you never got to see them again. Now, everything you do is
being tracked online. The dating world has changed in recent years. Some would
say for the better, others would say for the worse. Me? I'm a beast. I adapt to
survive.
Nowadays social media connects us all, and we should seize the opportunity.
If you really want to meet someone now, I think it is a lot easier than in the past.
With Instagram, you can have a general idea where they are and leave it up to
“fate” by using photomap to track them, but that is a little bit creepy. A lot of
people aren’t actually aware of this feature on Instagram. When you upload a
photo, it tracks where the photo was uploaded. So when you go to someone’s
page and click their photomap, you can see where all the photos were uploaded.
Usually, the location with the most photos uploaded is their house, so you can
basically find out where everyone lives.
I would go back and give advice on how to meet people in the past, but there
is no point. The game has changed, and we are all connected. There is no more
hiding anything. If you want to be discrete, then you should not sign up for
social media, but whenever the time comes and someone says what’s your
Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter and you say you don’t have one, you just lost
some brownie points.
Welcome to the 21st century. Where we all have profiles on the Internet that
show our interests, favorite TV shows, favorite movies, our jobs, what we have
been up to, and pretty much anything you can think of. When I put it like that it
sounds a little creepy, but it’s the truth.

The fact of the matter is that we all have the ability to talk throughout all
hours of the day. With Facebook chat, texting, phone calls, BBM, iMessage, Kik,
Instagram, Twitter, MySpace, Whatszapp, Tumblr, Skype, YouTube, and many
more, we have the ability to stay connected at all times. So the first thing you
need to worry about is doing you! You need to legitimize yourself to the public
because they can and will keep an eye on you. Stay relevant and talk to the
people you want to keep in your circle. What’s popular now is seeing an image1
that is funny and group texting it to your circle of friends. That will start a
conversation within the group that can last all day.
Stay active. The biggest mistake you can make is become irrelevant because
it’s not that people don’t like you; it’s that people don’t think about you. So
when you reach out to them, regardless of medium, they might seem confused
and ask themselves what is it that you could possibly be calling for? Stay on top
of your game and stay in contact with your circle of friends. If you don’t stay in
contact with them because you don’t know what to text them, then fine! Perfect
your craft so the next time your friends ask what you’ve been up to you can fill
them in! The power of keeping your social media updated is that people still feel
like they are connected with you. You have no idea how many people I have run
into from high school that say they feel like they see me every day because I
keep popping up on their Facebook feed. Stay relevant and keep contact with
people because, unlike the past, we have the luxury of picking up a phone and
reaching out to anyone we want.

The Art of the Voicemail
Call it old fashioned, but you wouldn’t believe how much this works. I have
personally lost count of how many times someone has approached me saying,
“Thanks for ignoring my call.” Or a “Thanks for calling me back,” when in
reality I never received a missed call. When meeting someone, they take my
number down. When they give me a call, depending on where I am or what I am
doing, I don’t answer unknown numbers. Though from experience, I have found
that I always listen to my voicemail.
People who leave voicemails tend to sound more confident, which will
definitely work in your favor. When a voicemail is left, it answers the question
of who the unknown caller was. You have a chance to leave a message, quickly
explain who you are, reintroduce yourself, and then when they get it, potentially
get a return call.
The best thing about a voicemail is that the recipient gets it no matters what.
Now sometimes, from personal experience, people take a while to check their
voicemails. On the bright side, if I left someone a voicemail and they haven’t
gotten back to me in a couple days, I always have the option of sending them a
text message. If it is business related, always leave a voicemail and follow up
with an email.
Ask yourself…

Do you maximize on being able to talk to people all day?

How many different people do you talk to daily?

When was the last time you made a phone call?
 Did you call because you needed something or because you just wanted to
talk?

Do you know how to hold conversation in texting?

Do you usually text first or do people text you first?

Do you ever leave voicemails?

Or do you prefer sending a text afterwards?

1 Meme
Chapter 18

Social Media
Welcome to the future
We live in a time where we are connected more than ever. With the advantages
of the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media networks, we are
continuously interacting with our peers. Unlike our parents and grandparents, we
have the luxury of being able to send out a message to all of our friends with the
touch of a button. The negative side to this is that we rely on it more than we
realize. Hence, why face-to-face interaction is a long lost art that us 2K kids are
struggling to fully understand. A text, tweet, or even wall post are easy since you
have time to think about it, as opposed to face-to-face conversation where you
don’t have the ability of having a backspace key at your disposal. Social media
can be your best friend or your worst enemy because someone is always
watching you.
Some have learned the advantages of social media more than others. For
example, if you see two women on a Twitter avatar and one is significantly
uglier than the other, then you best believe that it’s the uglier one’s twitter.
Myspace is outdated now, but originally you had to beware of the “Myspace
angles.” Women that take pictures in bizarre angles in an attempt to catch the
only good side that they have and make them appear 40 pounds lighter.
Remember that your life is now being tracked when using Social Media, so
don’t put any content, picture, or status update that will bite you in the ass down
the road. Do you really want the girl you’ve been chasing to do a Facebook
background check on you and see pictures of you drunk passed out on a couch
with a fat girl half naked on top of you? Neither would your mother; delete that
shit.
 

Social Media Game
Personally, I am a huge fan of Twitter over all the other social media
platforms. Why? Because with Twitter you can choose what "your followers"
see. If you don't "Tweet," then who cares, but when you do you are able to
choose what the public sees. Unlike Facebook where people write on your wall,
and you get tagged in photos. Okay, so you can still delete a wall post and
remove a tag, but the photo is still on the Internet. The person who wrote the
wall post saw you delete it. With Twitter, if you want to get to know someone,
just follow him or her and whenever they "Tweet" something you either
"Retweet it" or Retweet it with a witty/clever comment. With Facebook I tend to
write the better of my Tweets as my status. Typically though, I only use it for
Facebook chat, which is a very beautiful tool that seems to have replaced AIM
and Skype. Whoever your person of interest may be, “like” their status or
photos, but make sure you don't like their photos at 3 in the morning on a
Tuesday because then you are going to come off as a big creep.

Social Media Cool
Don’t let your social media profile define who you are and do not identify
people by theirs. It makes you a groupie when you call someone by their social
media handle unless they have a cool one like “champagnepapi” or “therealwill.”
There are a couple rules about social media that are left unsaid but for the first
time ever I will reveal them to you.

1. Do not follow more people that follow you.
2. If you are a man, do not take/post selfies.1
3. Do not post out of focus photos.
4. Do not post more than two posts in a row. (Unless on a rant, which needs to
be done correctly.)
5. If you are a woman, do not upload half naked photos unless you are on the
beach, on a boat, in a pool, personal trainer, or professional model (photo
must be a high quality photo from a shoot.)
6. Do not put depressing posts! If you are in a relationship and are having
problems then keep it to yourself!
7. Have a good interesting photo of yourself as your default.
8. Do not post anything your boss or parent would find inappropriate. (You
being a drunk, doing drugs, or being a slut.)

If you stick to these guidelines and try to only post interesting/funny things
you’ll be just fine. People will go to your page and who knows you may even be
able to acquire new followers!

Mobile Applications
I know what you are thinking. You are reading this book, so this is you doing
research. You need to understand this is only the first step. Consider this your
basic guidelines and use this to branch out and learn on your own. For example,
did you know that there are apps out there that can help you meet people of the
opposite sex? Tinder is a great app just for that. Connect it with your Facebook
and it displays 5 pictures of yourself and you get a series of photos from the
opposite sex that you have the option of liking or not. If you do like them and
they like you back, then the app enables you two to message each other. If you
don’t like them, and they don’t like you, nothing happens. What this does is let
you communicate with members of the opposite sex that find you attractive, but
only those who you find attractive too! There are many apps out there of this sort
like OKCupid, which is linked to a dating site, Hot or Not, Baddoo, and more.
Nowadays there is a company or a service for anything and everything. It is
really hard to come up with original ideas that haven’t been done before. For
example, did you know that there is a service to outsource your online dating
profiles? What I mean by that is that this service, Automate Your Date, creates
online profiles for you and speaks to potential dates on your behalf. So let’s say
that you aren’t the type that wants to text girls all day, and you just want to
practice the dates. You can hire a team that will speak to these potential dates
and give you the script to your dialogue, alongside with her list of interests, and
dislikes! Just do some research, you might just find a mobile application that
suits you!
www.automateyourdate.com

Online Dating
It seems to be the new phenomenon. Everyone is doing it and it happens to
have a high success rate. Everyone has contemplated doing it to see whom
they’ll meet, but not everyone actually does it. Personally, I would never use
these websites because it takes away from the whole essence of how you met. I
enjoy the story of when someone asks how so-and-so met. The person says “Oh
he just walked straight up to me and said hi,” or whatever it may be. My belief
on why online dating’s so successful? Well, first, they make you fill out an
online profile, which pairs you up with potential dates that you have common
interests with. So immediately they gave you a person you have interests in
common with and a list of those interests. So when you are on your first date
with each other, the main reason why you think it went so smoothly is because
there were less opportunities for awkward silence. They gave you talking points,
which is the list of interests you both share. This takes all the fun away from
doing it yourself.
The dates they meet are just as desperate to meet someone, since they went
online for help. They’re actually talking to someone that filled out the same
questionnaire they did. They both answered the same way and that’s why they
were matched. It’s kind of hard not to get along with someone who likes the
same things that you like! If you are under the age of 25, I don’t think you
should rely on online dating, if you do, I consider you a quitter! Enough said.
Ask yourself…

Are you active on social media?

Do you interact with people frequently?

What social media do you use the most?

Have you met anyone in person that you met online?

Are you uncensored on your social media?

Or do you keep it cool and professional?

Are you open to using new apps?

Do you consider yourself ahead of the technological curve or behind?

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be
nothing.”
-Aristotle

1 Selfie: Taking a photo of yourself in the mirror or with the camera aimed at you with an extended arm.
Chapter 19

Out & About

Where to Meet People
Now you know what to say and do, but you have no idea where to go. Here
are a couple places I’ve personally met people at, but remember that you can
meet anyone anywhere, so do not just stick to the ones provided.
Gyms: Gyms are a great place to meet people if you ever need to use the same
machine they use. In the gym it’s tough because, if they use their headphones,
you are out of luck. If you go with a partner, chances are that you aren’t going to
meet anybody because you aren’t going to work out with anybody. Opportunities
are greater when you work out alone. Also, this is a great place to meet
somebody because if you ever see him or her out you have an opener like, “Hey,
do you work out at LA Fitness?”
Cross fits: If you are trying to meet someone and get physically fit at the same
time, then cross fits are for you! If you don’t know what crossfit is, it is a form
of fitness where you do a series of exercises continuously without breaks
working one body part after another, and, after you work out all the body parts,
you do it again! Repeat about 5 times. I’m not going to lie, the first time I did it I
threw up, but like they say, “no pain, no gain.” The more you go, the more they
see your face and welcome you into the cross fit family. Usually people try a
week pass and give up, but once you pass that hell week, these health fanatics
will let you into their family and you become one of them. It is usually easy to
speak to them because you are talking while doing an activity, which is always
the best form of conversation because if you have nothing to say, then continue
on with your activity.
Bookstores: Unfortunately nowadays we easily access to any book we want
with the click of a button on Amazon. Bookstores are still a great spot to meet
people. Not just any people: knowledge hungry people. These are the types of
people that usually step outside the norm and follow hobbies/activities of their
own. You can meet really smart and entertaining people at bookstores. The best
thing is when you have read the book that they are reading, perfect icebreaker!
Parties: This is just obvious! If there is anything I have learned from Jim
Carrey’s movie “Yes Man,” it’s that you should always say yes to adventure.
Never turn down an opportunity to go to a party because you never know whom
you are going to meet. When you are there, hopefully the music is at a level
where you can hold conversation, be sure to talk it up with everyone. When the
time comes that you think your presence may no longer be pleasant, move on to
the next one! Just be sure to get out of your house and talk it up with as many
people as possible.
Clubs: Being raised in Miami it feels like clubs are the only place you can
meet anyone. This is not true, but it is a great place to meet people. Some of
them are what we call “club rats” that go out every night, but others are just
there that one time of the month they want to go dancing and listen to loud
music. Most clubs have a smoking section, this is a great place to hold
conversation. For the ones that don’t, be sure that you talk loud and use this as
an excuse to get really close to his or her ear. Remember! Do not enter the creep
zone because, once you enter this zone, it is only natural for people to alert
everyone they know, which spreads like wildfire. Also, if you have a drink in
your hand, please make sure that the drink isn’t filled all the way to the top of
the glass. Have it at least halfway to avoid spilling it on whomever you are
conversing with.
Happy Hour: This is a great place to meet Alpha people. They just got off
work and this is the only opportunity they have to blow off some steam! This is
conversation central. A great place to meet people and possibly figure out the
rest of your plans for the night. So a great conversation to have with these people
would be to ask them what they do for a living, or if there was anything exciting
that happened at work this week. People at Happy Hour love to meet other
people so it is a great place to do just that!
Events: Check into your city for blogs that show events in the area. Miami has
Miami New Times, which shows company sponsored events, to “Events you
shouldn’t miss this week”, to open bar events. These are different and, from
personal experience, extremely fun. This can be used to meet new people or
even bring a date to. People love doing new things. Remember, this is foreign
territory to everyone so don’t be afraid.
Parks: I have found that meeting people in the daytime helps you build a lot
more rapport than at nighttime. A great place to do this is at parks. My personal
preference is dog parks because if you have a dog that you are passionate about
and love, it is a great conversation piece. Remember that most people don’t
actually want to hear about someone talking about their pet; they like to talk
about their own so be conscious of what you are saying and ask them questions
about their pet!
Shopping Malls: Shopping malls are a great place to meet people. The store
that you are in influences what icebreaker you can use. You can always just ask a
person for their honest opinion of a product because you feel as if the staff is
going to be biased since they want you to buy it. Shopping malls are filled with
people walking around sharing the same common interest: buying stuff. If it
comes to the point where you can’t find a quality person at the mall, don’t forget
that the staff too is an option. They are just normal people like you and me, and
you never know when they’ll catch you by surprise.
Coffee Shops: Depending on the time and day, you may be able to find some
interesting people at a coffee shop. Those who are just hanging around are much
easier to interact with than those that are on the go! A good time to go is around
lunch break when people get off work and need a little pick-me-up to get them
going. Those that order food are in no rush and are clearly on break. Coffee
shops are a casual place to meet someone, and, who knows, if you exchange
information, you can meet there again. Coffee shops are a great place to take
someone on a date because it’s early in the day so you’ll leave an impression on
them throughout the day, you can see how they look when they aren’t all dressed
up, and, most importantly, it is super casual. You can ask someone out for coffee,
and they won’t overanalyze the situation as if you were asking them out to
dinner.
Grocery Store: My favorite time to do groceries will definitely be on Sunday
night. For me, this is where I get all my meals set up for the whole week, and I
also believe it is when most others do too. Sunday is the day of rest, where you
prepare yourself for the upcoming week. This is a great place to make small talk,
especially when you are waiting in the deli line for meats. I have learned from
experience that, if you want to connect with “higher class” people, you can do so
at a Whole Foods over a Publix, but remember that your wallet might take a
slight hit for this. Eating healthy has its costs.
Libraries: Just like the bookstore the library is a great place to meet people.
Unfortunately it is quite difficult to break the ice unless you are in a section
where you can talk. Asking someone for help or advice can always work, but
remember that they are there for their own reasons and not there to get hit on. So
if you do make a move, make sure it is subtle and that you don’t annoy them.
Workplace/School/College: Unknowingly this is where most of us make our
close friends. Usually, the only way you can get an in on these places is if you’re
attending them. You can’t really hang out in an office space if you don’t work for
the company, and you can’t hang out around a high school if you don’t go there.
So take advantage of where you work and go to school. You probably wont be
working or attending that institution forever. On the other hand, going to a
college campus that you do not attend is fine. Use this to meet other students or
to hang out with your friends that attend the college. If students are living on
campus, chances are they are hanging out there to pass the time or find
something entertaining to do. If they are living off-campus, chances are they are
on campus to get something done. If you run into someone that is hanging out on
campus and lives there, you have a better chance of befriending them than
someone who is there with a purpose. Also, there are plenty of people killing
time until their next class, so why not help them out with a little conversation?
Occasions: Weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and more. Special occasions
are something you don’t want to miss because they happen rarely. Weddings are
by far the best place to meet someone, especially of the opposite sex, because the
mood is set and the entertainment is provided. Talk about how beautiful the
ceremony was and how you almost shed a tear when the artist started singing. It
is a great opportunity to let out your sensitive side!
Mutual Introduction: Being introduced by a mutual party is my favorite way
to meet someone. If you ever have anyone that you want to meet and know one
of their good friends, ask him or her to set up a meeting between the two of you.
The next time they go out together ask that friend to let you know where they are
going so you can meet them up and casually be introduced. If you have the
opportunity to actually go out with them as a group, for example, in the same
car, take advantage of it because people tend to spend time throughout the night
with the people they started out with! So this can be a great opportunity to
building rapport!
Planned Spontaneity: This may sound a little creepy, but if you keep it to
yourself, I’m sure no one will know. If you see a tweet or an Instagram post, or
even that the person is attending a Facebook event, use that to your advantage.
Let’s say there is a car show in town, and you saw person A tweet to person B
that they were going today. Attend the event with a friend and try to meet up. If
it doesn’t work out, at least they saw you, and this gives you the opportunity to
cross the target’s mind.
Seminars: Learning seminars are a great place to meet people because after
the seminar the host usually gives time for the attendees to mingle. The best
thing about doing activities is that at the completion of the activity you have a
topic of conversation! Seminars are for people who want to educate themselves
so you’ll be meeting some quality people there.
Grouper: Nowadays there is something for anything. What I mean is that if
you thought of an idea, unless it is a very unique idea, on the Internet there are
already 5 different variations of that idea. Grouper is a service where you pay
$20 a person, for you and 2 other friends, and you all go out on a date with three
people who are friends of the opposite sex. You meet at a mutual location that
grouper assigns. The first drink is on the house, and then its on you from there!
Out & About: The best way to meet someone is when you’re out & about. If
YOU don’t make an effort, then YOU won’t meet anybody. Just remember to
say yes to adventure! You won’t make any progress sitting at home watching TV.
I never stay home, unless I am being productive and bettering myself. If you
aren’t bettering yourself then go out, meet new people, and NETWORK!
 

Night Clubs
This may not be the scene for some people, but this seems to be the home to
many others. My first job was as a nightclub promoter, and I realized that
everyone (well most of them) that goes to a nightclub has one goal, and that is to
have fun. For me, it was different since I was being paid to be there, and
sometimes, well most times actually, I really did not want to be there. My
biggest complaint about the nightclub is that since there is always loud music
blasting, I can never have a genuine conversation, which could work to my
advantage. I have always said that whenever I’m out at a nightclub, there is no
conversation someone can have with me that I haven’t had already.
Depending on the club you are in, your chances of interacting with the people
you want to throughout the night vary. If you are at a VIP club, chances are you
won’t be able to speak to the people at the premium parts of the party unless you
are invited there. If you are at a club where mainstream music (Top 40 radio
music) is being played, your chances of interacting with people are a lot easier. If
you are at a club where they are playing rave-style house music, chances are that
most people there are high while they are listening and dancing to the hypnotic
beat, which often makes them ignore everything else around them, including
you. If you are the type that wants to go to these rave-style music clubs, my
advice to you is to have something that makes you stand out. From LED glasses
to a laser pointer, you’d be surprised how much these electronic dance music
fanatics love shiny objects.
 The beauty about clubs is that if you stand there long enough, something
interesting is bound to happen. I’m not one to be on the dance floor at a club
because I usually have my own table since I work there, but my advice for those
who don’t have that luxury, is to hang out at a spot that is outside the dance floor
and also has the most foot traffic of people walking by. The bar is also a good
spot since go there and have to wait to get their drink. Plus, people keep going in
and out so you have new waves of people coming by you constantly. The hardest
part about the nightclub is actually getting in. Once you do that, remember the 5-
second rule. You should approach everyone you want to speak to within 5
seconds of making eye contact.
Dancing is crucial! The truth is that if you can’t dance, you are probably bad
in bed. Dancing at nightclubs is very important because, unlike guys who can get
turned on immediately, women need to be warmed up. Take your time do not be
to rough and try to enjoy yourself! If you dance with a girl and it comes to the
point where she doesn’t want to dance anymore, use that as an excuse to go
somewhere else and talk to her. Asking people to dance, for men mostly, can be
quite difficult. Ideally, rejection should never happen, but it is going to.
Whenever it does, especially at a nightclub, move on and do not let it phase you.
Remember that there is someone smarter and prettier in the nightclub that will
want to dance with you. When someone rejects you, in their mind, they will
remember you. If they see you again later in the night, they will examine what
you are doing. It’s just human nature. If they see you are having a bad time, then
they will think rejecting you was the smart decision. If they see you having a
great time, then they will regret it and potentially try to break the ice with you
again. Never, and I repeat never, take rejection personally. The best way to deal
with it is to ignore it and move on. As they say, “there are plenty of fish in the
sea!”
A promoter I know was dating a girl for a year and had this problem where he
wasn’t able to talk to women in the club. The problem got worse when he
became single again. He was never on the dance floor, since he worked with me,
and we shared a table together. He was so out of loop that he had clueless how to
talk to a girl in the club because he wasn’t allowed to speak to them for so long.
Then, when he became available again, he had no idea what to say. This is when
I realized that most club conversations are based solely on observations. “Look
at that old couple dancing;” “look at the DJ.” “Look over there, it’s a famous
person,” or even “wow that table is spending a lot of money they must be
professional athletes.” Besides the generic mumbo-jumbo of course, “what’s
your name?” “Are you from here?” “What do you do?” “Have you been here
before?” “Who did you come with?” “What music do you listen to?” “What did
you do last night?” You get the idea.
The beauty about nightclubs is that music fills in that “awkward silence”
people are so scared of. The best parties to meet new people are those that play
open format (Top 40 radio) because throughout the night you will be hearing
songs that you recognize. The best icebreaker is to sing a part of the song and
make eye contact with someone singing that same part of the song. In that
moment you two share a ‘jam session’. Remember to keep the drinking under
control. You don’t want to be that creep who goes around groping girls and
trying to speak to them. Also, I am not a believer in buying someone else a
drink, but consider that your “BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.”
 

Drink of choice
What a woman drinks says a lot about her. If they are drinking colorful drinks,
like pink or blue, then they are being casual. If they are knocking back bourbons
or scotch, it shows that they are all about the business. Most women who drink
beer are there to talk, hang out, and are trying to be somewhat social. In my
experience, women that are drinking beer are similar to guys drinking beer;
they’re trying to hang out and blend in with the crowd. Women that are drinking
champagne, from what I’ve seen, are the easiest targets. If you are standing
around drinking a beer, you are most likely going to blend into the crowd. Drink
something that suits you and makes you stand out. If the night isn't going
according to plan, then order a couple of shots and watch the night take a turn
for either the better or the worse. Sometimes a night that ends up going for the
worse leaves you with a great story to tell, which eventually turns into a funny
story you can use in conversation. Remember to drink something that suits your
personality and have a story to go along with it. This can be used as a
conversation opener.
 

Facebook Add
Some people do not understand the power of social media, especially
Facebook. Some months I struggle with meeting new people. Either I go to the
parties with the same people, or I go to a bar with no one worth getting to know.
So that is when I turn to my computer and take the initiative. I go to a person’s
profile that I am a good friend with, preferably someone who’s very interesting. I
go to their friends, and I add all the people that I think are worth getting to know
which tend to be the ones with the most interesting default photos. Then I let
time do its work. They’ll see the friend request, check whom the mutual friends
are, then one of four things will happen.

1. They’ll accept you.
2. He or she asks your friend (mutual friend) who you are, and since you are
good friends, they will vouch for you, which leads to your friend request
being accepted.
3. He or she will accept you, message you, and ask who you are. Then you
respond with, “oh sorry, you looked very familiar. I thought you were
someone else. So how do you know so and so…”
4. They’ll reject you, but who cares? You didn't know him or her anyways.  

The power of adding on Facebook is one that gets overlooked quite often. The
other day, my best friend and I were exchanging stories, and I noticed that the
majority of women I talked about he knew. Yet the ones he mentioned had never
crossed my path (that may be because he went to a different college than me). So
I made a joke that I was going to go down his whole friends list and add every
person I saw. I learned a lesson that day… Facebook is smart. I did sit at the
computer and start adding everyone on his friends list, but about 50 friend
request later Facebook put a ban on my message-sending and friend-requesting
for 2 days. On top of that, they took away all the friend requests that I had sent
out. This got me thinking. When the ban was lifted, I noticed that the majority of
those people had few mutual friends with me. So what did I do? I started adding
everyone on my suggested friends. I am getting more exposure to “friends,” and
in the future when someone sees whom our mutual friends are, they are going to
see it’s all their friends but in reality none of them actually know me. Be sure to
also add both sexes on your suggested friends so they don’t see that you are just
adding the opposite sex. Instead they would think he’s just friends with so and so
or a lot of my friends.
Ask yourself…

Do you struggle with meeting people?
 Do you feel as if there are no new people to meet?

What do you do at nightclubs?

Dance? Drink? Stay in a certain area? Meet new people?

What’s your drink of choice?

Do you ever use that as a point in conversation?

Do you see yourself meeting people with social media?

Do you hesitate to add random people because you don’t know them?
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
Chapter 20

Dates
Types of Dates
For those of you who feel that you don’t know how to ask someone on a date,
this part is for you. Be casual about it, don’t be too eager, and be sure you ask
them early so that they can plan ahead. I usually mention it in the morning. I’ll
start with something like “Hey, my day freed up today. Do you want to get
lunch?” That way it looks like you had other plans that fell through, and you
want to hang out with him or her. This is opposed to asking the night before
because if you do that, you are trying to plan ahead, and if it falls through you
look like a chump!
The following are lists of date ideas:
Picnic: A picnic is affordable and shows you put in effort. You can pre-pack
everything you need, from appetizers to entrées to drinks! Then, when you are
done with the picnic, you can sit in nature and have genuine conversation.
Chivalry is rare nowadays so a girl can take this as a romantic gesture! Don’t
worry; it shouldn’t scare them away. I mean, after all, when was the last time
you heard of someone going on a picnic? People like to experience new things!
Keep in mind that some people may find this extremely cheesy.
Sports: Sports dates have to be one of my favorites! Every sporting event has
its advantages. Baseball is great because it is long, simple, and a great sport to
talk through because if you aren’t paying attention to the game, chances are you
aren’t going to miss anything. Basketball is a lot higher paced and exciting,
while football is great because of the tailgate before. I personally enjoy going to
the park and actually playing sports. It can be something as simple as getting a
Frisbee and throwing it around or getting a group of friends together and
organizing a co-ed kickball game. Group activities can help build rapport,
especially if your goal is to try and create a social group of people you want to
hang out with consistently. Another great sports date is bowling! Since you take
turns and there isn’t a rush, it makes for great conversation. Also, regardless of
how many pins you hit, it gives you a reason to cheer!
Arcade: This is a great date because the sole purpose of the arcade is to have
fun. From Dave & Busters to Game Works, you can find a spot that will give
you hours of fun at a low cost. The best part about all of this is, after you’re
done, you can gather all your tickets and reclaim a prize to give to your date to
remember your special day.
Activities: Social activities show that you aren’t a bore. There are places like
Sky Zone where you can go and play indoor dodge ball on a 360-degree
trampoline! Do something different and do some research! Websites like
www.groupon.com and www.livingsocial.com have great deals for such getaways
and activities. Another example would be those fitness competitions like Mud
Run, the Spartan Race, or the Zombie Race, where you go through an obstacle
course and run either in mud obstacles, hard competitive obstacles, or away from
zombies! You can also find deals for physical activities like kayaking which
makes for a great getaway for you and your date.
Improv: The point of the improv is to make you laugh, and laughter leads to
happiness. This, in my opinion, makes the best date because, if the comedian is
good and you refer back to the jokes he made, you automatically build rapport
because your date will laugh at your jokes, even though they aren’t your jokes at
all!
Tasting: Alcohol tasting, whether it’s wine or whiskey, makes a great date.
You are learning, which is always a great thing to experience, while also getting
drunk! The longer the date lasts, the more comfortable you two become with
each other. You are getting educated on what you are drinking, so the next time
you see someone order that drink, you can educate him or her. It’s a win-win!
Parks: Here in Miami we don’t have the luxury of having many parks. We do
have an Aquarium though. It makes a good date if you are out of options because
I don’t really know anyone who is over the age of 13 that goes there. We also
have the Fair, but it is only open for a month every year. Santa’s Enchanted
Forest is fun but only open in the winter. Either way, these make great dates
because the food, games, and entertainment always have your date entertained.
Range: It may be the driving range or the shooting range, but either way this is
a great time! The shooting range can be a little pricey, but if you can afford it, I
encourage you to go. It feels empowering to shoot a gun, and your date will
remember that subconsciously. The driving range is relaxing and more
affordable; it’s also very therapeutic. These types of dates are fun 1-on-1, but are
even better when you go with a group.
Play Tourist: A lot of people have lived in their hometown their whole lives,
but they’ve never seen the city. People come from all around the world to see
your city, and they have experienced more than you have. This date is fun if you
do it once! Mostly because you live in your city, and how many times can you
play tourist? You can educate yourself on your city and experience something
new!
Strangers in your own town: One of my favorite things to do is go out with my
date, pretend we are from out of town, and go bar hopping. Depending on the
recommendations that we receive from locals, we would go to those spots next,
unless those locals recommended us an awful place. It’s fun, adventurous, and
shows that you are spontaneous. Live outside the box and your date will see you
for the adventurous type that you are.
Bucket List- This is something everyone should make. It may be for a date or
just for you! You need to have life goals so that when the day comes and you
cross them out, you get a feeling of accomplishment. A Bucket List is a list of
things you want to do before you part ways with this world. If you present a
bucket list to someone, chances are that they will be interested, and you have a
conversation on your hands before you realize it. If the activities entertain him or
her, they will want to do it with you! It is also a great way to wrap up the date
when you have the list in front of you, and you scratch out the activity together!
Spa-Self-explanatory. Need to relax and get away? Then a spa day is for you.
There isn’t much interaction during some parts, but the whole objective is to
make you feel good! So now you are feeling great and so is your date! Just
remember to keep it nice and pleasant because the whole spa experience is
supposed to keep you relaxed.
Swimming- If the day is nice, you can work it to your advantage! Go
swimming at a pool or beach (if you have it available to you). It’s affordable and
easy. If you don’t want to go swimming, just lay out poolside and tan! Have
great conversation and walk away with some nice color.
Restaurants- The most common theme of all dates is eating. Everybody loves
food! Everybody has to eat, which is a great topic of conversation. The best
places to eat are the places that always keep food coming out. That way you
always have something to talk about. Sushi is great because it’s easy to eat and
there isn’t a mess. Never order messy food, like pasta. Order a steak where you
can cut it into small pieces and chew easily. Do not forget to chew with your
mouth closed, and don’t talk with food in your mouth! Breakfast dates are great
because you will leave an impression on the person after you part ways for the
entirety of the day. Also, you won’t need to text them until the end of the night.
You can start conversation like “How was the rest of your day?” If it was good,
well it started with you, and if it went bad, fortunately the highlight of that
person’s day was with you. Now you are the beginning and end of their day.
Lunch dates are fun, even though I prefer brunch, because they are much more
casual. I always order variety! Don’t order 1 large entrée each. Instead, order a
bunch of mini-food and a large entrée that both of you can share. Dinner dates
are more to set the mood because if it goes well, you’ll be hanging out with that
person afterwards. Also, chances are that you’ll be drinking during the dinner
date. My favorite types of dates are dinner parties. Get a bunch of couples and
bring a potential date there. It will give the vibe that you are dating each other
because everyone at the table is exclusive, but you aren’t. That way when people
at the table do things that couples will do, it won’t be so weird when you do it,
which will set you up for more rapport.
Drive In- The drive in is great because if you come prepared, you can have
food, drink, and any other number of goodies you have in store for your date that
you couldn’t have at a regular theatre. It’s awesome if you have a nice car
(convertible), and it is something outside of the box!
These are just a couple of ideas for dates. The best date you can go on is one
that you created while conversing about common interests. For example, if you
two were talking about how much you love golf, offer to go on a date to the
golfing range. Activities are better than dates because you fill in the silence with
something fun. Remember to pay attention to detail because the person talking to
you might be giving you hints on places to go!
Another great date idea would be a simple night at home. Cook your date a
home cooked meal and set the mood with candles. With the right music, you can
have a nice evening that will cost you next to nothing. If you do this, you need to
make sure your home or apartment is prepared. Keep your place at the right
temperature and make sure you have an attractive scent, which can be fixed with
candles. Have champagne, wine, and chocolates just in case it is requested.
Make sure you have the proper music playing. A much needed installation, if not
already in your home, is a light dimmer.
Weekday dates are some of the best ones to have. People don’t do too much
during the week unless it is work-related. The benefit of weekday dating is that
you have turned a dull weekday into a great one. Weeknights are more casual as
well, so there is no pressure at all. Hanging out during the week is a great way to
build friendships.
If there comes a point where someone breaks a date with you, use this as a
chance to get angry. This may sound a bit extreme, but it works. It puts you in a
position of power, which is very important. You put your foot down and explain
that when someone makes plans with you and breaks them, you find it extremely
disrespectful. He or she made a commitment to spend time with you, and now
they are breaking it off an hour before the date. You need at least 24 hours. Use
this as an opportunity to have them try and make it up to you. Make it clear that
this is a sign of disrespect and that you don’t take disrespect lightly. This gives
you the opportunity to show the emotion anger. When used properly, it helps you
be perceived as an alpha and helps keep you out of the friend zone.
The first time you date someone and they disrespect you, it is time for you to
do something drastic. It is time for you to “dumb” them. This is when you tell
them that their behavior, whatever it may have been, was unacceptable and you
are not going to tolerate it. Sometimes even if you are the one doing the chasing,
you need to switch the balance of power so that they can appreciate you more.
You can choose to forgive them, but I wouldn’t do it so easily. I would force
them to prove it to me. This could be anything from making him or her take you
out to show you that he or she is sorry to giving you something as simple as a
kiss. This is entirely up to you. Disrespect is also known as a form of
assessment. When someone you are dating, disrespects you for the first time,
they are challenging you to see your reaction. Seize the opportunity and express
your anger. Show that you will not put up with that behavior. Show that you
won’t whine about it, that it doesn’t faze you, and that you won’t get upset about
it. But, when the time is right, show that you will NOT tolerate it.
It is important to have power in the relationship, but you should never abuse
it. A relationship should be a 50/50 split, both equally involved. Sometimes,
unfortunately, one person in the relationship does feel as if they are superior to
the other. If you have the power, know that you will eventually lose it. So when
you do have the power, don’t abuse it because, when the time comes that the
balance of power switches, you can always remind them of the times you didn’t
get livid at them for their mistakes.
If you want to catch the person you are on a date with by surprise, end it
before they do. Most guys usually hang around, even if the date has gone south,
in hopes of getting some at the end of the date. If you are a girl, you should
always try to end the date before the man. This is what usually happens. The girl
says, “it’s getting late. I should start heading home.” On the other hand, if you
are the guy and you tell your date “it’s been real, but I’m going to take you home
now.” They will be confused, as if they did something wrong when they didn’t.
You’re just playing a mind game with them. They will be intrigued as long as
you don’t divulge your plan.
 So when is the right time to call a woman after sex? The answer to that is
simple: the day after. If you wanted nothing but a one-night stand, then do not
call because you don’t want to mess with the girl’s emotions. If you see
somewhat of a relationship or friendship out of this situation, you need to call
the day after. Sex for women is completely different than it is for men. Sex is
special for women; they are letting someone into their body. For you it might
have been a fun hour (or 5 minutes) of your life, but women will think about it a
lot afterwards. So be sure to call the day after. It will reassure the girl that having
sex with you was a great decision. 

Romantic Gestures
Some people say romance is dead, while others believe it’s still around.
Romancing a man does not exist. We are not programmed that way. However,
there is no better thing you can do for a girl than romancing her. If you are trying
really hard to get that one girl, then the following list may help, but it is probably
a waste of your time. If you haven’t gotten the girl by now, chances are she
thinks you’re a nice guy, but you aren’t what she is looking for. These romantic
gestures should be used as rewards and not a way of making them want you:

Go somewhere you always wanted to go, but never had the time
Take a walk around the block or a park. If you have a pet, take it with you.
Cook dinner for her
Buy her a balloon that says something nice
Do an outside the box date, like going to the zoo or an amusement park
Tell them you will be late but show up early to swoop them off their feet.
A random picnic. Be well prepared with food, drink, and a nice big blanket.
Write a love letter
Leave a nice voicemail
Get a present and hide it somewhere they will find it. The longer it takes for
them to find it without you implying anything, the better.
Name a star in the universe after her.
Use post it notes and stick them places she will see
Send flowers anonymously. With time their curiosity will figure out it was
 you.
Send her flowers (Best for last).

The Perfect Date

For those of you who are not very experienced in the dating world, let me
explain to you what the perfect date is. The perfect date is a date in which you
cannot mess up. The hardest date to mess up is by far a movie date. You pick her
up in a timely manner, open the door for her when she approaches the car, and
do some research to see what bands or musicians she likes so you can have those
songs playing during the ride. If she starts singing, you have a jam session with
her no matter how bad the song is. When you get to the theatre, make sure you
have done your research beforehand. Do not go the opening week to see a movie
because you will get awful seats. Before you pick the movie, do some digging
and find out which movie got the best reviews. In a movie date, you don't speak
much, so the final judgment of whether or not you guys had a good date comes
down to the choice of the movie. You must buy her ticket. You look like a
gentleman, and it really does not cost that much compared to other dates. Once
you get into the movie it’s seat-picking time. Immediately get the seats a bit up
towards the back, and make sure they are centered. Sit down first, when she is
about to sit next to you, raise the armrest between both of you and get
comfortable. Be sure to sit in a position where you two can make some body
contact. In the movie, you aren't supposed to talk, so if there is some body
contact, it'll remind her that you're still there. An average movie is about 2 hours
long, so every 30 minutes crack a joke related to the movie to remind her you're
still there. The best part about a movie date is that you have great conversation
material (the movie)!
 

Reservations at Restaurants
We all know dinner dates are the best and most common dates to have.
Everyone has to eat, so why not hit two birds with one stone and enjoy it in the
company of someone you like? Sometimes, the restaurant can define the date
itself. If you are eating at a fast food restaurant chances are you are casually
hanging out, but if you are eating at a 5 star restaurant that is impossible to get a
reservation for, chances are this date is going to be a little bit more serious.
For those of you who don’t have the ability to get a reservation at a 5 star
restaurant, there is a trick that I have learned over the years that has worked with
great success! Call the restaurant and speak as your own publicist. Explain that
you work for so-and-so magazine, that you have your client in town, and he
would like to eat dinner at so-and-so time with another guest. Be sure to mention
that this client of yours is a very important client, and if they can accommodate
him, to the best of their ability, his or her efforts will not go unnoticed. This has
gotten me some of the best dining tables in the restaurant, and it works great in
New York!
Ask yourself…

What is your typical date?

Do you have everything planned out or are you spontaneous?

What was the last romantic gesture you did?

When was the last time you gave or received flowers?

What’s your perfect date?

Have you done that before?

What’s your favorite restaurant?

When’s the last time you took a date there?

Chapter 21

Sex, Sex, Sex

The First Kiss
Let me start by saying everyone should practice safe sex. If you are dating
someone for a while, you have my blessing to have unprotected sex, but it is still
not encouraged unless both of you have been tested. Sex seems to be what
everyone is thinking about. Why? Because most people enjoy it. Before we can
have sex, though, we need to have the first kiss.
As stated in Hitch, “8 out of 10 women believe that the first kiss will tell them
everything that they need to know about a relationship.” Here are a couple tips to
properly execute on this:

Ease into it
Feel out the moment
Carry Chapstick
Know when to pull out (no pun intended)
Do it in private
Have fresh breath
Show some passion
Use your hands
Dip her down

The first time’s the most important time

When you first have intercourse with someone, a couple of things happen.
Right away they know exactly how your ex enjoys it, and you're about to leave
either a very good, very bad, or just mediocre impression on them. Unlike men,
women can't just get an erection and be ready to go immediately. They need to
be stimulated mentally and physically before anything is going to happen. For
the first time, I do everything in my power to make sure that the girl I am with is
left satisfied. Unfortunately, most young females don’t have the ability to have
sex with multiple people for fear of being known as a slut amongst her social
network. My belief is that women want a man that they can train to be their
personal sex toy and be able to teach them exactly how they want it, which is
why most young, female adults are always dating.
Just remember that the first time really is the most important time because
when it's over she is going to judge your performance and debate whether or not
she wants to come back for more. Once she comes back the second time, you are
in the clear as long as you don't disrespect her. Do not kiss and tell, and make
sure that you acknowledge her in public, but do not give away that you both are
sexually active with each other, all while generally trying not be an asshole.
It has been my experience that having morning sex means a lot more than
drunken sex the night before, especially having breakfast after it all. Getting to
know someone is a lot easier after we have sex because I am not trying to get
into her pants anymore. If you have sex with someone and they spend the night,
try to have breakfast together in the morning. It will be a lot more rewarding for
both parties.
 

Sex Talk
No matter who you are, man or woman; this is something we all have in
common. Are you a man trying to become buddy-buddy with a guy for whatever
reason, and you don’t know what to talk about? Well what do all men have in
common? They all love women (unless they're homosexuals, then they are the
exception). A great way to get along with a guy is by talking about women
around you. Wait until it triggers some sort of conversation and work off of that.
Now, when you are comfortable (man to woman) enough with your partner, sex
talk is important. If used properly, you will have her thinking about you every
minute of the day. Using certain words like come, wet, hot, and arouse can help
you set the mood. Be sure that when you are talking about sex that you do not
cross the line between sex talk and being a pervert. Try to break the touch barrier
so that when these thoughts are going through her head and out to her lips, she
has you there either with your arm around her or touching legs under the table.
Have you ever had a girl talking to you and her breasts are completely rubbing
all over your elbow? Believe me, the girl knows that her breasts are touching
you, but be coy and cool about it. Don’t overplay it and overhype it. Remember
to stay confident and relax. You can only get better with sex talk through
practice. So find a really good friend of yours, preferably of the opposite sex,
and ask for help. Confide in them. If you really want to better yourself as a
person, this needs to be done. Be honest with them; tell them that you are
inexperienced in having sex talk and you would like to practice with someone of
the other sex. This can be rewarding for the only way to get better at something
is to practice! 

I Love You
You have mastered your skills of being social. You have used it and found a
person you deeply care about. You two have been together for a while now, and
the emotional bond between both of you has grown tremendously. What now?
Do you love her? Does she love you? What if the person you are seeing says, “I
love you” before you think you are ready to take it to the next step? What is the
best way to handle this?
This can be a very sensitive subject. If he or she says, “I love you,” the last
thing you want to say back to them is anything that isn’t “I love you too.” I have
learned to handle this moment by immediately kissing them passionately. Keep
this going for as long as possible, and then when it is over try switching the
subject. Keep in mind that this person opened up to you in the biggest way a
person possibly can, so try and be sensitive to and be careful with his or her
feelings. Saying I love you can be difficult for a person, especially when they
don’t receive the response they are hoping for.
Never, and I repeat never, say “I love you” without meaning it, especially if
someone says it to you first. Saying it back to someone can make him or her gain
a bunch of feelings that they never had before because they just reached a
milestone with you. It is better to hold off on it until you are ready. Remember,
honesty is the best policy, and when it comes to something like love, you don’t
want to jump into anything you aren’t ready for. 

Keep your mouth shut
Okay, so you got the girl. Congratulations! Now, can you guess what this part
is about? Keeping your mouth shut. It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t get some
right? Women have sexual needs just like men. If they do decide to have sex
with you, and a week later someone comes up to them saying, “Oh, I heard you
got with so-and-so,” you have a recipe for disaster. I don’t encourage this
behavior because I don’t believe in kissing and telling. I have learned firsthand
that a girl may hook up with one of the guys in your group, then, if she thinks no
one knows about it, she may jump on to the next guy and get with him (Crew
Love). In her mind she thinks, “Ha! I got with both of them, and they have
absolutely no idea.” Chances are that if you keep your mouth shut and you only
wanted a one night stand, more can come out of it than if you run around telling
the world that you got with so-and-so. Just remember to think before you act and
always risk/reward.
Ask yourself…

Do you consider yourself a good kisser?

Do you have a close friend that can give you an honest review?

Do you use protection?

You might hate condoms but you’ll hate an STD even more.

Do you know how to engage in dirty talk?

Do you feel uncomfortable talking about sex?

Do you brag about your sexual encounters?

Or do you keep it to yourself?

Chapter 22

The Closing
Beware of the Rant
I am not the smartest person in the world, but a skill I do have is common
sense. My observations are logical and practical. For example, dating when
young is dumb. Why? Let’s just weigh out the pros and cons. When you are
single you are more likely to go out, meet new people, network, go on dates with
different people, switch up your social circle, and step out of your comfort zone.
When dating someone, who you may love, you are comfortable and less likely to
do things that require work. For example, a couple is already home and they get
invited to a party. How many times do you think that couple turns down the
opportunity to be interactive with human beings just to stay home and watch
Netflix?
Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, you meet someone at 20, you guys are on
and off for 10 years to marry at 30. Just for arguments sake we’ll say you live up
to 100, not including the unfortunate circumstance of one of you passing away
before the other. That means you have spent the majority, 75 years or so, of your
life with this person! Be young and reckless. Experience things that you can only
experience while you are young and filled with life! Don’t do something you are
going to be able to do when your youth has passed you by.
I am not an enemy of love, as I truly believe it exists. What I never seem to
understand is how people spend their whole entire life with one person. People
who meet the “woman or man of their lives” without having any other person to
compare it to are impossible for me to understand. How can you truly be in love
with someone when you haven’t even experienced half the life that you’re able
to live? I am not saying to end things if you are in a relationship. What I am
advising is for you to take a break. Have some time for yourself to experience
new things, and when the time is right and you have done some soul
searching/character development, if you still feel the same, give it another try.
The lives men and women live are very different and unfair. Yes, women now
have the right to vote, and, for Christ’s sake, we almost had a female president,
but the unfortunate truth is that the majority of men would never look at women
equally. I love women. I truly respect each and every one of them, but my
outlook on life gives me the opportunity to see things that other people don’t.
 Yes, I have heard it a million times before, “why is it okay for a guy to go
around having sex with a bunch of girls and for him to be called a pimp or
player, but when a girl does it she is called a whore or slut?” The best answer
that I’ve heard to that question is that a key that opens up many locks is a master
key, but a lock that opens for many keys is just a shitty lock. I believe in that, but
there is more to it.
I was speaking amongst my friends during the production of this book, and the
question was asked what type of woman do I find to be a whore? Well, to start, I
don’t believe it is fair that men can have sex with whomever they want and it is
okay, while for women it’s the opposite. Sex is something that has been around
for as long as men and women. What I can’t stand are those no-good deadbeats
that stay home all day watching T.V, smoking weed, browsing Facebook, pretty
much not doing anything with his or her life besides hang out with their peers
and talk bad about these so called “whores.”
When do I find it appropriate to call a woman a whore? Never. Even though
there are some situations that make me reconsider it. If a woman is independent,
makes her own money, pays her own bills, and doesn’t have time for a boyfriend
because she is trying to take care of herself before she even thinks about taking
care of a significant other, does she qualify as a “whore” because she slept with
someone she isn’t dating? These are the women I fall for. They know what they
need to do, have their lives prioritized, and know what path to take to get where
they want to go. Now, those girls who go around Facebook adding guys they
find cute, responding to every creepy person who pokes them, and spend hours
upon hours going around liking random guys’ pictures, I won’t get angry if you
defame this person’s character. She brought it upon herself.
Just hear me out for a second. Let’s say [College/High school Girl] meets
[College/High school Boy] at a party, they get along great and have some drinks
with good conversation. First night, she doesn’t put out because she doesn’t want
to be called a slut (which only makes the guy like her more) so she gives him her
number in hopes of starting something mutually beneficial. [Boy] adds [Girl] on
Facebook and does the background check to find out she has a clean record. No
keg stand pictures, half-naked pictures, and especially no passed-out wasted
pictures. He likes a couple of photos, texts her in the morning so they talk
throughout the whole day, then asks her to a casual lunch or dinner. [Girl]
accepts. Now she doesn’t want to be considered a slut so she holds out for a
couple of weeks and claims that she doesn’t have sex unless it’s a boyfriend.
[Boy] has been on a long cold streak, so eventually he falls into her trap.
Personally, I believe this is how most relationships start, and the longer they
have been with each other, the longer they will stay with each other because the
sex is getting better and they are becoming more comfortable with each other.
This is a great situation for [Girl] because she is having as much sex as she
wants without being called a slut because it’s her boyfriend (yes, women who are
dating have way more sex with their boyfriend than booty calls have with each
other.) [Boy] doesn’t mind because he is getting laid all of the time and getting
“maximal pleasure, minimal effort.” Now 4 years went by. College/High School
is over, and you spent the majority of your prime single life dating each other.
The time in your life where you are supposed to meet the most people and
interact with them you spent with your “significant other.” Now you are
programmed this way, and it is next to impossible to undo. Your dating prime is
behind you, and without that experience, it is going to make the rest of your
social life more difficult.
Now let’s say we live in an alternate universe, and the relationship only goes
on for about 2 months. After a month of talking, they date to only break up a
month after. After the break up, [Girl] goes on a singles rampage for 2 weeks
and then slows down. She meets someone she likes and starts the whole ordeal
all over. That means each relationship, including introduction, talking,
honeymoon stage, and break up, takes about 3 months. That puts her at 4
boyfriends a year and 16 boyfriends in 4 years of school (most of my friends
don’t even have 10 sexual partners). Does this make [Girl] a slut? Every one of
her partners was a boyfriend, and she waited till she dated them before she
finally gave in. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. It just takes the right
perspective.
The word “whore” and “slut” are out of my vocabulary. Okay, so to her peers
she might be considered “loose,” but to that random guy that just met her she
might seem like Ms. Perfect. You might end up being that random guy. Everyone
has a closet filled with skeletons. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds
discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Conclusion
Some of the parts I’ve touched upon can contradict other parts. This is all
depending on how your relationship is with someone. I have explained that you
need to think before you speak and wait for the right moment to jump into
conversation. Sometimes this isn’t the right thing to do. Most times the right
thing to do is just listen. To gain a good friend, one must be a good friend, and in
order to do that you must try to understand what people really mean when they
are talking. Most of the time in conversation, our minds are ready to form a
response. What we should really be doing is listening to what others are saying.
Hear it from their perspective and see how it affects them as a person.
Understand when someone brings a topic up, it is because it means something to
them. Try observing a social exchange between two people the next time you’re
out. You will see that they either agree with each other or value their own point
as more important. Each person always waits for their turn to talk, giving head
nods, or expressing comments to show that they are listening. What they really
want to do is voice their own opinion of the matter.
Conversation seems to be more genuine when both parties’ opinions match.
This is why some people believe they can only connect with people that share
similar views. When both opinions match, we usually experience real
conversation. That is when listening happens naturally, and conversation flows
without effort. This is how friendships are built.
Being a great conversationalist requires being a great listener. When listening
you must not solely hear what people are saying but understand why they are
saying it. It is a message within a message. If you can understand why someone
is saying something, you can understand what they value and who they are. For
example, if a friend you are speaking to brings up school, chances are that
person doesn’t want to teach you how to pick classes at their university. You
have to see the why behind the words coming out of their mouth. In this case
your friend may be worried about picking classes, that’s why they are talking
about it. So they have school on their mind and they want to get it off. The only
way to get something out of your head is to voice it out loud.
Once you are able to understand the why, you will be able to expand your
skills in conversation in ways you never thought you could. These people, in this
case your friend who brought up school, have school on their mind. Once they
have spoken about it they no longer have it there taking up their attention. If you
spoke to your friend about something else that wasn’t school chances are your
friend would be listening but will still have school in their head, which can be
very distracting in conversation. Be a great listener and understand their values.
If you take the time to listen to them first, when they get whatever is on their
mind off, they will be completely open to listening to you, and this time they will
be listening because nothing is in his or her mind distracting them.
Try to make it a point to see where someone is coming from. With every word
that leaves their lips, they are expressing something from deep within them.
They are expressing value. You have the ability to connect by understanding this
value. In time as they share their values, you will see you’ll eventually find that
you share something with everyone. The trick is to see where they are coming
from. I can’t emphasize that enough because you need to see it from their
perspective. It is better to understand than it is to be understood. As long as you
remember that you will be a step closer to being a great communicator and an
amazing friend.
Sometimes when you are talking to someone they may appear passionate
about the topic. Times like these require you to drop everything you have learned
from this book. Ask them questions that can spark more passion and actively
listen to them. In moments like these, the only things you need to do are
understand why they are saying these things and see how it affects them. Put
your own thoughts on hold for a bit and strive to be an understanding listener.
Once it is all said and done, the person who is communicating with you will be
grateful for the time you two share and would love to continue conversation with
a clear mind. Also, be understanding and offer to listen first. You understand that
worries, thoughts, problems, benefits, and many other things cloud your mind.
You can clear your mind for a moment to be an active listener, and when it’s the
other person’s turn to listen, you can be guaranteed they will give you his or her
full attention!
In order to love, you need to be loved, and having people share intimate
moments or talk about things that are on their mind is a great way to gain that.
Building rapport is key and letting someone be the star by listening can get that
done. Try to understand conversation from the speaker’s perspective, and you
will see your relationships with coworkers, clients, friends, family, and even
strangers build. The goal is to help you build those acquaintance relationships
into friendships, and effective listening can do just that.
Now that you have read this book, it doesn’t mean that everyone in the world
is going to love you. There will always be people out there that no matter how
good the chicken tastes they aren’t into it, they’re vegetarians. What I mean by
that is no matter how hard you try; they just aren’t going to like you. There are
people that click and people that don’t. This book is here to help you adapt to
your surroundings and give you the ability to click with more people.
For those of you who know me, I really hope you don’t take the information
from this book out of context. I have always been genuine and have never stayed
for a conversation that I didn’t want to be there for. Now that you have read the
book, I have to say that I hope your opinion of me has only changed for the
better. In the end, all these tips, tricks, and bits of advice pale in comparison to
being genuine with people. The last thing we need in this world is another fake
person. This book isn’t going to change you, but if you apply it with the Law of
Attraction (See Preface), it can definitely help you evolve into the best verions of
you possible.
Reading has become a lost art, so if you made it this far, you are a foot ahead
of the competition. If you read it and enjoyed it, share it with someone you think
it can benefit. If you read it with a highlighter, keep it to yourself and use it for
reference. Being social can give great advantages in this life. Who doesn’t love
being loved? Being social with someone builds rapport. With rapport, you can
build trust and relationships. Use what you have read in this book in day-to-day
situations, and if you think parts of it are dumb, you can always use it as a point
of reference in conversation. “I read this book about being social…” Point out a
part, discuss it, and get other people’s opinion on the subject. Agree, disagree, or
make fun of it; who cares? The point of this book is to help you converse with
people and catch an interest in their eyes. Everyone can relate to this book
because, whether you like it or not, everyone needs to be social (unless you live
in a cave). Knowledge is a powerful tool, especially for conversation. People
love to learn, but some people hate being taught. Make sure that, when you are
in control of the conversation, the delivery of your words doesn’t come as if you
are better than them. This is ineffective, and all they are going to do is talk badly
about you behind your back. When “dropping knowledge,” speak to people as if
they already know what you are talking about. People love to feel superior. As
long as you make them feel superior, you will have the advantage. Do not belittle
anybody and remember to stay humble!
The main trick for people to like you is to make sure when it is all said and
done that they think highly of you. You want them to feel as if you weren’t
around and your name came up in conversation, which believe me it has, that no
one will want to say anything bad about you. If nobody has anything bad to say
about you, why would they even think badly of you? The Golden Rule should
never be forgotten. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Never put
anybody on a pedestal and never expect yourself to be on one. At the end of the
day we are all human beings. Celebrities are just people that are really good at
their profession, which happens to be a cool one. If being a really good insurance
adjuster was cool, then consider my uncle the coolest person in this world. You
wouldn’t talk to him any differently than you would to, let’s say, a professional
athlete, would you? What I’m trying to say is not to get star struck. It may be
with a celebrity or with a person you really want to get to know. YOU are their
EQUAL! As long as you remember that, you’re going to do just fine in this life
because at the end of the day all we have is our knowledge and our experiences.
May this book do nothing but bring positive energy to your life.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start
from now and make a brand new ending.”
-Carl Bard
 …It doesn’t end here.
If you want more you can always go to www.besociallyaccepted.com - Stay tuned for
blog posts and videos. Also, don’t forget to sign up to the newsletter where I
promise to give nothing but great information that will help benefit you!
Reader,
If you have read this far, then there is no amount of appreciation and gratitude
I can put into words. You may have read this to better yourself as a person or, if
you are a friend, to hear about the crazy stuff I have to say. From the bottom of
my heart I really do appreciate the time you took out of your life to read this
book. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times.
I can’t express my gratitude enough. If you have any questions, feedback, or
concerns feel free to email me at support@besociallyaccepted.com. I appreciate
the feedback and support! Once again, thank you for taking the time and reading
this book. I hope you have learned something from it for that was my main goal.
Scratch that. I hope you come out a better person now that you have finished
reading this book for that was my main goal. I hope you get everything you want
in this world and the next!
Best Wishes,
 Call to Action!
You have made it this far but there is one more thing we need you to do!
Share the love and share this book.
Go on Amazon and leave an honest review whether good or bad! (Preferably
good)
Now that you left a review go out to the world!
Apply everything you learned in this book and begin your journey to a
brighter future!
 Quotes I Live By
★

“Dress to impress.”

“No glove, no love.”

“Bad decisions, great stories.”

“Laughter is the best seduction.”

“It’s good to shut up sometimes.”

“I’ve done a lot more for a lot less.”

“I’d rather be too much than too little.”

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

“I speak two languages, English and Body.”

★
 “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

“The more you say, the less people remember.”

“Better to be overdressed then underdressed.”

“Be silent, or say something better than silence.”

“The only person that can make it awkward is you.”

“To hell with circumstances, I create opportunities.”

“There is no failure. You either learn or you succeed.”

“I haven’t failed; I just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”

“It’s either you fit in or stand out and I’d much rather stand out.”

“The less you speak, the more you will hear.”

“The less people speak of their greatness, the more we think of it.”
 ★

“If you act like they’re too important, they’ll treat you like you’re not
important.”

“If she says you’re not getting any, before you ask or try, you’re getting
some.”

“Roll down the window, turn up the music, and make an ass of yourself it puts
them at ease.”

“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as
we speak.”

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that

person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”

“Two men look out the same prison bars; one sees mud and the other stars.”

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made
them feel.”

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in
other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in
you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be
one.”
 ★

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I wasn’t who everyone always thought I was. Actually, I’m still not. No one
really knows who I am except my family, and this one girl. She caught me in a
moment of truth that I never experience because, at this point in my life, I was
starting to believe my own bullshit. I got caught up in all of it, I was living out
the information I put in this book word for word instead of actually applying it to
situations. I thought I was way too cool for school I became a person I’m not.
Truth be told I’m a dork and for some reason everyone thinks I’m so cool.
High school was a fun time for me. Possibly the best times of my life mostly
because I was being me, the real me. I’d sleep during most classes, get home, go
on my computer, play with my internet friends on either Counter Strike or World
of Warcraft, stay up all night and do it all over again. Myspace was popular at
the time I was in high school. I was active on social media so people always saw
me even though most the time I would be home playing video games. This paid
off in the future when I actually did want to make friends and be social. I used
social media to go to parties; Myspace had this thing called bulletins where you
can broadcast a message to all your friends, which would usually end up being
addresses to a party. I always showed up with a camera took a bunch of pictures
of everyone at the party and then went home to put it on my website
www.stormcircle.biz. The site is no longer up. This was way before the time
Facebook was around so eventually people started hearing about whom I am.
Never changed the fact that I was a huge dork. Eventually when high school
finished up I was the guy with the camera taking pictures but Facebook came out
and that blew me out of the water. In high school I didn’t get laid often. Well
often is an understatement I didn’t get laid at all. I actually lost my virginity to a
girl I now keep no contact with in the front of a random party in the passenger
seat in my car. It was awful. Nevertheless I was happy with or without sex in my
life there was still a smile on my face.
After high school I chilled for a bit just had some me time lived life day by
day never thought of the future or myself. Living in Miami there isn’t much you
can do in the nighttime besides go out to the clubs. At this point in my life I
wasn’t in school so I was growing out my hair but unlike normal people my hair
doesn’t grow regularly it grows out into an Afro. I didn’t get any girls because I
never expected too I mean seriously I had an Afro. Going out with an Afro was
so much fun though it was a stage of my life where I fully embraced how big of
a dork I was and for some reason people thought I was so cool. People wanted to
hang out with me because I was enjoying myself and what I have learned from
experience is happiness is contagious and misery loves company. So suck it up
and put a smile on your face it will attract people into wanting to hang out with
you.
Around my 21st birthday my Afro got to the length where I can do something
with it and throughout my whole life I wanted my hair to go down. So what did I
do? I got dreadlocks. I was always just doing me but unknowingly I realized the
transformation of what has been going on through my life. I went to a geeky
computer dork with a website with pictures, to a kid with an afro dancing in a
club, to now a white guy with dreads being animated shaking his head every
opportunity he got.
When I had the afro I made a lot of girlfriends, hot girlfriends, my theory is
because they were friends with me because they knew I wasn’t going to have sex
with them seriously I had an afro. Now that I had dreads people started
perceiving me a little cooler because I didn’t look like an idiot and I was
surrounded with pretty people. This was all unintentional throughout all this I
was just being genuinely nice to everyone I met.
So now for some history my father’s last name is Casanova my mom’s is
Soberon. At birth they mixed their names and got Castellon. Unfortunately when
he passed away we all decided to honor him by changing our names to
Casanova. It was a family decision, which I support. Though I thought it was
cool at the time it would forever change my life. My whole life I was known as
Joe Castellon and now about to be 21 I am Joe Casanova. A couple months after
the name change my dreads were a nice length and a new club opened up in
Miami, which I had an opportunity to work. Since everyone had an idea who I
was I thought I might as well work there and get paid for bringing people who
were going to come anyways. This began the reign of Joe Casanova. For the next
2 years I started to believe I was this person. It’s so crazy how a name can really
define you. I felt as if I was so cool going to the club dancing with beautiful
women listening to the best DJs not having a care in the world. Life was good
and I was enjoying every second of it.
So I am working at the top clubs, wearing a suit and tie, cool dreadlocks,
surrounded by beautiful women? Who am I and how did I get here? Just the
other day I was paying cover to get into the club so I can drink out of my flask
with my Afro. I’d live, breath, and eat Joe Casanova always until I had a
moment of clarity and examined the road that brought me here. I started
dissecting all my interactions and realized most of them were repetitive. I knew
what worked and what didn’t with people. If it worked I reused it in conversation
with other people. It was all networking and I self-taught myself all of it. I didn’t
realize this until I met a girl. I didn’t meet her with any social media she literally
just popped into my life and we connected. She knew absolutely nothing about
me except for my name, Joe Casanova. Eventually things were moving along.
She moved down to Miami where eventually we lived with each other. She
always reminded me who I was so whenever I did go out I acted like this alter
ego of mine but I was fully aware of what I was doing. This girl taught me more
about myself than I already knew. She helped me find myself, which helped me
so much to create this book.
Ever since I started to examine my actions and interactions with other people.
I would write down my observations of how I stopped being a dork and became
this cool person everyone apparently thinks I am. I somehow have gotten the
world fooled and I am here to help you trick them as well. You should never
change who you are because you are that person for a reason. Stay humble and
don’t let being socially accepted get to your head. You can get lost in it;
consumes you. Just never lose you, never forget your roots because that defines
you as a person. It’s just there are some advantages to being the center of the
attention. Everyone wants to talk to the celebrity in the room no matters who it
is. This book is written to help all those socially awkward people out there get a
chance at fooling the cool kids you’re one of them. I’ve done it and now that
they have accepted me into their group I can naturally just act like myself.
Remember you are your intentions and beliefs but people perceive you from
your behavior and actions. I’m not trying to change who you are as a person I’m
just trying to change what people think of you.