De-escalation Strategies & Techniques

This resource includes over 50 de-escalation strategies that teachers, counselors,

administrators, paraprofessionals, and other adults can use when working with kids and
young adults to de-escalate a situation. Kids and young adults who become emotionally
overwhelmed or irritated in a situation may begin to express their emotions in aggressive or
violent ways. Some examples of these behaviors might include aggressive posturing, yelling,
throwing items, swearing, and making threats. Quite often, without training, these situations
become a power struggle between the young adult and the teacher. These power struggles
only make the situation worse, though.

The best way to handle these types of behaviors is to de-escalate the situation as soon as
possible. It’s very important to recognize that this does not mean letting the student get away
with the behavior. Instead, de-escalation focuses on helping the student return their emotions
back to a normal level. It is critical that the student is calm for a period of time before behavior
and expectations are discussed again.

Some situations that might set students off might include:

• Feeling stupid in front of others
• Feeling embarrassed
• Called out in front of others
• Being told what to do
• Feeling they have no choice or control
• Being laughed at or teased
• Being accused of doing something
• Being expected to complete work
• Being expected to complete work that is too challenging for them
• Rules or expectations that are not consistent
• Changes in the daily schedule or plans
• Working with partners or groups
• Having property or items taken away

If this resource is helpful to you, consider purchasing the full De-escalation Strategies Guide:

This guide focuses on de-escalation

strategies and proactive solutions that
teachers, counselors, administrators,
and other adults can use when working
with kids and young adults. It includes
training materials, reference list,
practice scenarios, and more.
© 2017 Pathway 2 Success
 De-escalation Strategies & Techniques
1. Act calm even if you’re not. 35. Invite them to do a preferred activity.
2. Say, “Let’s talk about this later”. 36. Ask if they can explain more about how
3. Use humor to lighten to mood. they’re feeling.
4. Lower your voice. 37. Try to understand the person’s
5. Give a choice. perspective.
6. Walk away. 38. Slow yourself down to avoid getting
7. Ask, “What would help you right now?” worked up.
8. Change the subject to a positive one. 39. Say, “So, you’re upset because… right?”
9. Give personal space. 40. Don’t say “calm down”.
10. Say, “I see where you are coming 41. Show empathy.
from.” 42. Encourage the person to use a coping
11. Distract with a photo of something they strategy.
like. 43. Don’t take items or personal property
12. Show that you are listening. from them.
13. Remove the audience. 44. Encourage the person to take a walk or
14. Say, “I want to help you.” get a drink.
15. Talk about something they like. 45. Give the person an “out” (i.e. letting them
16. Make a joke. go to another room or walking away).
17. Encourage the person. 46. Ask, “Would it help if… ?”
18. Remind them of something amazing 47. Keep escape routes open to the door.
they did. 48. Coach the person with positive
19. Say, “You can do this.” remarks.
20. Call another adult for help. 49. Acknowledge where you agree with
21. Say, “Let’s call… I think they can help.” the person.
22. Be willing to find a solution. 50. Remind the person, “You’re not in
23. Offer to change the way you are doing trouble”.
something. 51. Tell the person, “I’m here for you.”
24. Re-state what the person is saying. 52. Say, “Talk to me,” and listen.
25. Validate their thoughts. 53. Tell the person to take a minute to
26. Avoid over-reacting. themselves.
27. Use active listening. 54. Ignore the behavior.
28. Offer a solution. 55. Distract by saying, “Hey, let’s go…”
29. Let the person talk without interrupting. 56. Be respectful in your tone.
30. Say, “I see your point.” 57. “Do what works” in the moment.
31. Offer to take a walk with the person. 58. Spend time de-briefing after the
32. Clarify expectations. incident to identify ways to improve.
33. Remind them of something they love. 59. Ask them to draw a picture of what
34. Apologize for something you did wrong happened.
or the way it was taken. 60. Avoid needing to get the last word.
© 2017 Pathway 2 Success
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 About the Author
Kristina Scully has been a special educator
for over 10 years. She has a bachelor’s
degree in special and elementary education
from the University of Hartford, along with
a master’s degree in special education with
a specialization in autism from the
University of St. Joseph. She has worked
extensively with kids and young adults with
behavioral challenges, learning disabilities,
autism, ADHD, anxiety, and other needs.

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