Name : Ayu Nuri Fransiska

NIM : 16020154018
Class : Cross-Cultural Understanding

The Deep Structure of Family Background

One thing that makes the socialization process successfully is the society. It is often
referred as the group of people who come from the different generations. Even though their
generations are different, but their goal is still same that is to interact and communicate each
other for surviving this life. Basically humans are social beings; it means that they cannot
leave alone without the other helps by doing socialization.
If we talk about the differences, we can see this from a simple example that occurs in
both of our thumbs. In my thumbs, its right side is bigger than its left side. They are different,
aren't they?. It also happens when we do socialization, we can get interacted from many
different generations. That generation is referring to the family which is the main source that
is causing of the difference. I have proven that its differences exist when I do the
socialization for getting know more information about my close friend's family in my class.
In that case, I find our differences significantly in two terms, background identity and culture
tradition.
In a background identity term, we are considered as the extended family, because our
family basically consist of the big family like grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins,
the parents, the sister or brother, etc which are still existed in our life. On the other hand, our
family trees are quietly different. It can be seen by my family tree which is fuller of branches
than her. It is caused by my grandfather who has two ex-wives and stays with one wife now.
In each of that women gives him three children, and all numbers of my grandfather's children
are nine, so I seem like having more extended family members. Besides, the numbers of the
siblings between me and my friend is same, that is just one, but she has a second grade
younger brother while my younger sister is in the seventh grade. In addition, her parents gap
age to get married are shocking me enough, because she said that her mother age are three
years older than her father. It is unlike my parents gap age which my father is 5 years older
than my mother as normally happened in society for getting married.
In a culture tradition term, we are treated differently in our family culture. At first, we
actually have the same classification system, as informal family. It means that we do not act
or perform with the formal manner like bloody noble as if living in the empire rule. For me,
for proving that my family is considered as an informal family, we used the mixed language
for communicating like the combination between Indonesian and Ngoko or Kromo Javanese
sometimes, because it can avoid us from the gap that blocks our way to communicate,
without having fewer manners. However, for my friend proof, it can be seen by her family
who not always using fork and spoon for eating or the parents should take the food at first.
She adds that her family has the belief that eating with our fingers are more comfortable and
healthier. For the second, the different culture is on the different subject of jokes in our
family. I think this subject is suitable for me, because I often use the ambiguity words too
much to speak, so sometimes when my family listen it, they will laugh and tease me with the
over exaggeration. Yet the subject of joke in my friend family is her mother, because she is
too dramatic person for watching drama in the television like having changeable emotions
suddenly. The third is the role to make decision in the family. Unlike my family, it is refer to
my parents which mean every decision should be decided on her, because they are the head
of my nuclear family in Sidoarjo. In contrary, a person who can make a decision in my friend
family is her younger brother, because if her family cannot manage his emotion, he will
destroy anything. It can be seen by her story, he likes living in Bojonegoro, when her family
move to another city, he destroy anything stuffs in his new house, and it makes her family
back to Bojonegoro again. The forth is how we are rewarded in our family. In my family,
when I get precious achievement that I reach, my family will give me the reward just praying
me to not too satisfied and make it as motivation to keep doing the best, but my friend will be
invited to have delicious dinner together by her family as a praise symbolism to keep doing
the best again. The last is how we are punished. I think we have similar treat for it, our
parents will comment and advice us to not do the same mistake in the future without physical
hitting. Other ways, the way they derive their comment and advice are different. My parents
will do it with the more loud volume than her parents.
In summary, those differentiations above will not make us become separated later,
because we the main point is we should do this for knowing the deeper information about
people around us, especially our friend. If we can do this successfully, we will know the
world operation about family is and we will reduce our culture shocked become the gift
nature as a motivation for having socialization with more over.