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 M.Sc. in Medical Anthropology Dissertation

The Therapeutic Impact of Rope Bondage: a case study in the UK

Mirabai Galati

Dissertation submitted in partial fulfilment

of the requirements for the degree of M.Sc. in Medical Anthropology (UCL)
of the University of London in 2017

Word Count: 14.997

UNIVERSITY COLLEGE LONDON

DEPARTMENT OF ANTHROPOLOGY

Note: This dissertation is an unrevised

examination copy for consultation only
and it should not be quoted or cited
without the permission of the
Chairman of the Board of Examiners
for the M.Sc. in Medical Anthropology (UCL)
Abstract

The core of this thesis is the therapeutic impact of rope bondage, for how it has been

reported to me by people who attend the space where I conducted my fieldwork – the

Garden. The findings show that psychological and social benefits result from joining and

being part of a community perceived as an inclusive, welcoming, and non-judgmental.

I approach rope bondage as an inter-corporeal practice, through the lenses

provided by phenomenology. This methodology allows me to gain an insight of the

practitioners lived experiences.

Here, I appreciate that the Garden is a community based not only on shared values,

but also on the materiality of the space and the bodily experiences incorporated in it. The

welcoming atmosphere, elicited from the Garden look and organisation, is central in

creating a sense of belonging. The lack of judgement as for one’s gender, sexual

orientation, skin colour and sexual appetites is also fundamental in positively framing my

informants’ experiences. Still, it is rope bondage, a practice done by and on the body,

which primarily brings the practitioners into the community. Further, all these elements

cooperate in increasing the sense of well-being of the practitioners I engaged my fieldwork

with; in this work, I will refer to this result as a therapeutic effect.

1
List of Contents

i. Abstract……………………………………………………………………………………………………….1

ii. List of Contents……………………………………………………………………….…………………..2

iii. List of Illustrations……………………………………………………………………………………….4

iv. Acknowledgements……………………………………………………………………………………..5

1. Introduction……………………………………………………………………………………………………………6

2. Literature Review……………………..…………………………………………………………………………..15

3. Methodology…………………………………………………………………………………………………………22

3.1. Participant observation……………………………………………………………………………..22

3.2. Semi-structured interview………………………………………………………………………...24

3.3. Anonymity…………………………………………………………………………………………………26

3.4. Limits…………………………………………………………………………………………………………26

3.5. Self-reflexivity……………………………………………………………………………………………27

4. Therapeutic Impact……………………………………………………………………………………………….30

4.1 Short and long term well-being……………………………………………………………………….30

4.2 Gaining skills……………………………………………………………………………………………………31

4.3 Focusing on the present………………………………………………………………………………….32

4.4 Escaping the self through pain………………………………………………………………………..34

4.5 A journey of self-discovery………………………………………………………………………………36

4.6 Joining the community…………………………………………………………………………………….38

4.7 Discussion……………………………………………………………………………………………………….39

5. The Relationships………………………………..………………………………………………………………..41

5.1 The people ……………………………………………………………………………………………………..41

2
 5.2 The inclusive values ………………………………………………………………………………………..43

5.3 Negotiating consent………………………………………………………………………………………..45

5.4 A sense of community……………………………………………………………………………………..46

5.5 Discussion……………………………………………………………………………………………………….48

6. The Materiality of the Space………………………………………..……………………………………….50

6.1 The space………………………………………………………………………………………………………..50

6.2The teaching…………………………………………………………………………………………………….54

6.3 Discussion……………………………………………………………………………………………………….57

7. The Bodily Experiences………………………………………………………………………………………….59

7.1 Submitting to the body……………………………………………………………………………………60

7.2 Framing intimacy…………………………………………………………………………………………….61

7.3 The language of rope ………………………………………………………………………………….....63

7.4 Discussion……………………………………………………………………………………………………….65

8. Conclusions…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..67

9. Glossary……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..…72

10. Bibliography………………………………………………………………………………………………………….77

11. Other Sources……………………………………………………………………………………………………….82

3
List of illustrations

Figure 1: Figure 1: Hojōjutsu display. ....................................................................................... 8

Figure 2: Itoh Seiu’s work from the Yomikiri Romance magazine 1953. ............................... 10

Figure 3: My fieldnotes. Reflection on restraint as empowering. ......................................... 36

Figure 4: A messages sent to the Garden's owners ............................................................... 47

Figure 5: The Garden from the mezzanine… ......................................................................... 51

Figure 6: The Garden downstairs ........................................................................................... 51

Figure 7: A message that Sara received from an attendee of the Garden ............................ 55

Figure 8: Another message sent to the Garden's owners. .................................................... 55

Figure 9: Front and back of a flayer available in the Garden................................................. 57

Figure 10: Model Mira. Rope: T… .......................................................................................... 59

Figure 11: Model: Mira Rope: Sara……................................................................................... 65

Figure 12: Model: Mira.Rope: D............................................................................................. 67

4
Acknowledgements

Why did I choose rope bondage?

After constantly complaining about everything, I decided to do something new and exciting for
myself. Thus, in February, I took my laptop, did a quick research and found a place where I could
approach this practice. Not too long after that, I was reading the introduction of “Playing on the
edge” – an ethnography written by Stacy Newmahr on BDSM – when I thought, “I could write on
shibari!”. I took a piece of paper, writing down my idea. Everything clicked. I had the argument, the
fieldwork, the methodology and even some literature to start with. I left the library, I cal l e d some
friends and I asked them if it was making any sense to them and if they would be interested in
reading it. In the meanwhile, I saw my supervisor, I close the call and I stopped her saying: “I know
it sounds crazy but I might want to change my dissertation topic”. And here I am.

To Dalia, my personal tutor and supervisor, who supported me, from the beginning to the end
of this challenging year. She believed in me when I stopped her in in the middle of a street and out
of breath, I tried to explain to her that I wanted to change the topic.

To Sara and Marco. They are the reason why the space I studied exists in the first place. Sara,
you allowed me to be part of your amazing world. Nothing of this could exist without you and your
support. You introduced me to your house, your friends and your ropes. And for that, Thank you.

To each and every one of the twelve people who trust me enough to be interviewed. You
shared your experiences with me and it goes without saying that this dissertation exists because of
you.

To my parents who answered my phone calls and listened to me in tears and supported me i n
their unique ways. If I arrived so far it is also because of you. You gave me the best tools –
independence and the ability to choose for myself.

To my Friends. To all of you, my favourite people ever and the one I just met. It has been a
great challenge start and finish this master. I should have learned how to write and speak prope rl y
(did I, really?) in English and to eat chicken flavoured chips. And I have to thank so many people fo r
that. Not for the chips, though. I keep pushing myself, trying to do my best, because of you. And for
that, I cannot be anything else but grateful. I am not sure what the future will reserve me, but I
hope that all of you will be part of it. Siete cari.

5
1. Introduction

Research on sexual studies in general, and extreme sexual practices in particular, have

been for long time ignored by anthropology (Taylor and Ussher 2001, Kramer 2016) or

treated within the context of an amusing field anecdote, irrelevant to the research in

which the ethnographer was engaged (Markowitz and Ashkenazi (1999). Things are

certainly changing; scholarships and departments focused on gender and sexual studies

now exist and have been developing fundamental and innovative theses since the mid-

1980s. Also, consideration of gender asymmetry1 and the symbolic meaning of males’,

females’ and other genders’ social roles and sexualities moved from the peripheries of

anthropology to the very centre, becoming standard fare in most ethnographies report

Markowitz and Ashkenazi (1999). However, there is still the need to academically engage

with sexual practices in order to better understand how our society is shaped by and

shapes sexual habits. This is the primary reason why I am interested in exploring the lived

experiences of those who practice shibari in a Euro-American context in the 21st century.

Shibari, or kinbaku, is a practice which involves tying a person using several pieces of

rope2 in order to transmit sensations as pleasure or pain. Following Barkas (2016), Sin

(2016) and MasterK (2015), the Japanese term shibari means “to tie”, while kinbaku means

“tight binding”. In their understanding, the terms do not indicate the same practice: the

1 Gender asymmetry refers, state Stoller and Nielsen (2005), not the difference between the sexes as such
that accounts for the "inequality" between the sexes, but the assessment of this difference and the resulting
political, ethical, and social implications—above all, the unequal treatment of the sexes.
2 The rope is often made of jute, hemp or linen. Depending on the material, the sensation perceived o n the

skin changes. For example, coconut rope is extremely raw on the skin while linen or fabric is soft and smooth.
Every rigger chooses the material depending on the intenti on that he or she wants to induce on the person
tied.

6
former is the tying without any sexual aspect whereas the latter is erotic rope bondage3.

However, in the community I studied, the Garden, people use the terms shibari, kinbaku

and rope bondage interchangeably, referring to the same practice. During a “rope talk” 4 it

emerged a debate about the necessity to coin a new term to identify the European rope

bondage, because the Japanese terms refer to specific cultural values that the Euro-

American societies do not have. Indeed, in Japan shibari is part of an aesthetic that has

many deep historical, religious and cultural resonances, states Barkas (2016). Using a word

that conveys a meaning that another society cannot fully understand is misleading.

Personally, I think that whatever nuances the terms indicate, they still refer to rope

bondage. Both Japanese terms involve a rigger5 – the person who ties –; a “bottom6” – the

person being tied; – and ropes. The “Japanessess” expressed in the types of rope, the

typical patterns or clothes worn are characteristics of a determinate style but not

necessarily constitutional to the practice. Hence, I chose to use rope bondage, as an

umbrella term, bearing in mind the complexities behind this choice. However, in reporting

the interviews, I left the term that the participants used.

Reconstructing the historical development of rope bondage has been a challenge

because there is little information about it and much of it is not academic. Kinbaku, as a

practice related to sexual pleasure, is rooted in Japan during the Edo period (1600–1868).

3 Bondage is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic or aesthetic
reasons. Rope, cuffs, bondage tape and other physical restraints may be used for this purpose.
4 A rope talk is a monthly appointment that the space I studied organises, dur ing which people debate and

share ideas around rope bondage.

5 Rigger, in the context of rope bondage, indicates the person that uses the rope, the one who tie himself or

herself or someone else.

6 Bottom is one of the word used to indicate the person ti ed. Bunny and model are other terms used with the

same meaning. There is no agreement over the best term to utilize. However, all of them present some
contradictions. See the glossary for a detailed analysis. Being aware of the complexities behind the terms, I
will use them in the absence of a better one. Although I tend not to use bunny in my dissertation, I left it
when my informants use it.

7
The use of ropes to create patterns on individuals originated in hojōjutsu7 – the traditional

Japanese martial art of restraining an opponent using rope. MasterK (2015:16) reports:

“the tie must be beautiful”. This aesthetic aspect, together with the construction of the

ties, is part of the inheritance that shibari received from hojōjutsu. The latter displays most

of the pattern on the prisoners’ back; still, it does not involve erotic or sexual pleasure.

Figure 1: Figure 1: Hojōjutsu display. Source: http://www.ajwba.org/ninponinjutsu/ninja -weapons/

Although there is an explicit inspiration from this martial art; there is no evidence – in

the English sources available to this study – of its direct connection with shibari. The link

between hojōjutsu and rope bondage resides in Itoh Seiu8 – recognized as the father of

modern kinbaku – since he started studying and researching the martial art, developing a

safe use of rope patterns. MasterK (2015) affirms that even though Itoh Seiu could not

have been aware of developing the techniques of what would have then become kinbaku,

7 Hojōjutsu is the discipline of arresting a prisoner and binding them with rope. It is one of the fighting skills
taught to Japanese warriors. It was an effective means of capture and binding a person. The ties employed
provided different methods of binding prisoners based on considerations such as their crime, punishment,
social status and gender. See the glossary for more information.
8 Itoh Seiu (1882 - 1961) was an artist, a painter mostly. Following MasterK (2015:37) reconstruction, his

inspiration derived clearly from the Edo era punishments. He drew inspiration from other art forms of the
time, including Kabuki theatre and Ukiyo-e prints. Itoh’s technique was to photograph his models after
binding and tormenting them in various ways and then use the photos as inspiration for his paintings.
Throughout his over 50 years’ career, Itoh would hold sessions in his atelier or at other locations where a
model would be tied and photographed. After that, he would have done sketches and painting based on
those photos. Following MasterK (2015), one of his disciples founded Kitan Club – Japanese magazine that
published the first naked bondage photographs in the 1950s.

8
he needed to create a safe version of ties, starting the shift from restraint to a safe

enjoyable activity.

In the recent decades, shibari has become popular not only in the European BDSM9

scene10, profoundly influencing bondage (MasterK 2015), but also in the mainstream

culture; as evidenced by the increasing number of artists 11 and photographers who study

and practice it in relation to their work. There seems to be a net distinction between the

Japanese and the Euro-American approach to rope bondage; still it is the focus of this

work.

9 The acronym BDSM derives from the terms bondage and discipline (B and D), dominance and submission (D
and S), and sadism and masochism (S and M). Newmahr (2011) defines it as “the collection of activities that
involve the mutually consensual and conscious use, among two or more people, of pain, power, perceptions
about power, or any combination of the aforementioned for psychological, emotional or sensory pleasure”.
The term BDSM and SM are used interchangeably. See the glossary for a detailed analysis.
10 Scene in this context refers to the community in general, the people that practice BDSM activities .
11 Women experiencing BDSM practice – such as being tied with ropes, whipped or dressed in latex –

appeared in video-clips singer such as Thirty s econds to mars - Hurricane or FKA twigs – Pendulum, just to
name two. Another important user of shibari in his work is Nobuyoshi Araki, a Japanese photographer.

9
 Figure 2: Itoh Seiu’s work from the Yomikiri Romance magazine 1953.

Source: https://kinbakubooks.wordpress.com/

Barkas 12 (2016) identifies that communication and power are at the heart of rope

bondage. Indeed, rope bondage involves humans’ interactions; hence it is a social action.

Every social action is a form of communication, and thus power. Although communication

and power dynamics are important aspects of rope bondage, I have chosen to go beyond

them for this dissertation. Instead, I have chosen to focus my analysis on the

phenomenological side of rope bondage. This because I aim to understand the reason why

12 Barkas’s study on rope bondage is not an academic research, he himself affirms it. However, he was an
academic – he holds a Ph.D. in philosophy and history of science. In 2014 he quit academia to b ecome a
professional rope bondage artist and educator. His book “Archaeology of personalities. A linguistic approach
to rope bondage” published in 2016 contains interesting observations. I am aware it is not academic
literature, however, it is possible to trace this study on an academic educated person.

10
people engage in this activity and explore how the lived experience of the practice has the

potential to alter the way it makes participants feel.

As mentioned before, practicing this activity involves a various amount of rope, a

rigger, and at least one bottom. Both roles imply a learning process. In the case of self-

suspension13, one person incorporates both roles. Still, there are no limits on how many

people can take part in a scene14. Those who enjoy both parts are called “switches 15”.

The rigger is able to create intricate rope patterns that are aesthetically beautiful

and/or intentionally painful, depending on the agreement with the person tied. S(he)16

practices until the movements reach the muscular memory. “There are no secrets in rope,

the more you practice the better you will be” said Thomas, one of the interviewee. The

difference between beginner and expert riggers is the amount of time spent on exercising.

The latter gains a knowledge and understanding of the technique that allows them to

break the rules and improvise during a play. The technical aspect of the ties is an important

component of rope bondage, still, I am not going to address it17. Being able to tie safely,

without causing any damage, is essential.

The bottoms, instead, go through a whole different learning process. They need to

be able to give feedback to the rigger in order to improve the experience of both

participants. More importantly, they need to be able to recognize the stimuli that their

13 Suspension in rope bondage is an a ctivity where a bound person hung from one or more overhead
suspension points. Self-suspension, indicates a person tying suspending himself or herself to a suspension
point. S(he), in that moment, is the rigger and the bottom at the same time.
14 In this case, “scene” refers to the actual moment in which two people are tying together. “Play” is used

with the same meaning.

15 The term “switch” describes people who like to be on both sides of the play. They enjoy to dominate and

to submit others, depending on the partner.

16 In order to adopt a gender inclusive language, I will use s(he) or the “singular they” when I refer to one

person.
17 It is a very complex aspect of rope bondage. Every studio has its own style and each style, knots or way of

tying depends very much on the rigger that “invented” it. In fact, they are called after the person that creates
that particular tie. Also, there is little written information about this aspect of rope bondage.

11
bodies are sending, differentiating between, for example, tingling given by the loss of

blood circulation or nerve damage.

My aim is, therefore, to analyse the lived experiences of those who engage in rope

bondage and to highlight the potential benefits that this practice, enacted and negotiated

in a particular space brings to its members.

The core of this thesis is the therapeutic impact of rope bondage, for how it has been

reported to me by the individuals who attend the space where I conducted my fieldwork –

the Garden. I approach rope bondage as an inter-corporeal practice, through the lenses

provided by phenomenology. This methodology allows me to gain an insight of the

practitioners lived experiences. It also emerged that it offers a rich context in which to

explore key issues of embodiment, self-other relations, and consent negotiation. I

demonstrate that rope bondage can be framed within a BDSM context, thus, it is

enmeshed in a sexual discourse. Still sex, in terms of penetrative sexual act, seems not to

be the main aim for the Garden’s attendees.

Given the results of my research, I argue that rope bondage, as it is practiced and

experienced in the Garden, brings social and psychological benefits to the people who

engage with it. I demonstrate that this therapeutic benefit comes about because of the

physical space in which rope bondage is practiced, the relationships that are created within

the space and the bodily experiences that are enacted in the course of the practice. When

using the phrase “heal” and “therapeutic impact”, I refer to the notion that participating in

rope bondage results in an increased sense of well-being and personal growth, as reported

by my informants. Reportedly, the activity increases interviewees’ awareness of both their

bodies and their inner-selves; because in order to enjoy a scene, both parties involved,

12
need to be aware of their desires and preferences and need to have a deep understanding

of their own bodies as well as that of their partners. Additionally, through the negotiation

of consent and a similar understanding of inclusiveness, the attendees built honest

relationships. They are able to explore their desires in a welcoming, safe and non-

judgmental environment. It is in this sense that my informants frame rope bondage as

therapeutic.

After positioning the research in the literature, I explain the methodology used,

carefully reflecting on my positionality as researcher and practitioner in the community

studied. I follow this with four chapters that describe my findings and analysis. In Chapter

4, I examine the therapeutic benefits conducting rope bondage that members described.

They reported increased sense of well-being, given by feeling safe and vulnerable in ropes,

connecting with their bodies, escaping the self through ropes and learning how to be in the

present. Still, these benefits come about because rope bondage brings people into a

community, which, indeed, is the main benefit reported by the participants. In Chapter 5, I

explore the relationships that are built inside the space, through the values members share

and particularly through the process of consenting. In Chapter 6, I suggest that the

materiality of the space, through its focus on teaching, influences the Garden attendees’

experiences and approach to rope bondage. Finally, in Chapter 7, I explore how the bodily

experiences of the practitioners, through the concept of communication and intimacy,

reflect the Garden values and understanding of rope bondage.

Overall, I aim to demonstrate that the Garden is a community characterized not

only by the values shared, but also by the materiality of the space and the bodily

experiences embodied in it. The participants reported various benefits in engaging in rope

13
bondage, among which an inclusive community of like-minded people who are willing to

speak about topics often considered taboo in the outer society.

Additionally, considering the little academic literature, I aim to us e this dissertation

as a starting point from which explore other important issues emerged during the

fieldwork.

14
2. Literature Review

Approaching the research, I started to look for ethnographies on the topic with poor

results. Thereby, I watched video and read available non-academic books (MasterK 2015,

Sin 2016, Barkas 2016 and Rubel 2009) to obtain a basic knowledge. The limited

anthropological studies on rope bondage forced me to read a variety of topics that I

believed were relevant to the practice, but that came from other disciplines or fields.

Bondage is one of the component of the acronym BDSM: Bondage/Discipline,

Dominance/Submission and Sadism/Masochism. Indeed, rope bondage is a particular

niche18 within that world, thus I approached the literature on BDSM bearing in mind that

rope bondage can be framed within it.

Although some issues emerged in the BDSM literature are no doubt relevant to

rope bondage; there is an absence, even in these studies, of the therapeutic impact

perceived from those who practice these activities. This is the gap that I intend to fulfil

through this dissertation. Ultimately, this thesis is an attempt to reach an understanding of

the healing aspect of shibari as experienced by the people that engage with it.

Nonetheless, I believe the debates emerging within BDSM studies are relevant my

research. Hence, I briefly summarized the issues that I believe are necessary to consider in

approaching rope bondage.

Several studies have been conducted on BDSM communities in diverse countries and

contexts, such as those by Newmahr (2011), Scott (2015), Weiss (2011), Ortmann and

18 Bondage is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic or aesthetic
reasons. Rope, cuffs, bondage tape and other physical restraints may be used for this purpose. In rope
bondage, rope is the only object used to restraint the bottom. The focus is always on the person; however,
the materiality of the rope is important as well .

15
Sprott (2013), Luminais (2012) and Morgan (2014). In their studies, Weiss (2011),

Newmahr (2011) and Scott (2015) explore, analyse and deconstruct a variety of issues,

among which consent, trust, accepted behaviours, power and power dynamics in BDSM. It

also emerged that extreme sexual practices are subject to feminist debates; indeed, there

is an ongoing debate that sees two opposite ideas contrasting each other. In brief, one side

considers the choice of women to approach BDSM as empowering, while the other side

conceptualizes them as victims of the heteronormative male-dominated society. Scott’s

(2015) highlights the fact that in BDSM practices women consensually chose to be

dominant19 or submissive20 for their own personal pleasure. They are not victims . Scott

(2015), Newmahr (2011) and Weiss (2011) support the idea that the role of female

submissive to male aggression in BDSM disrupts, rather than supports, heteronormative

and patriarchal narratives about female and male sexuality.

Moving the debate on gender dynamics; Newmahr (2011) reports that gender does

not organize community life or play in the BDSM community that she studied. SM is deeply

gendered, but, she continues, the binary dominant – bottom replaces the male – female

dichotomy. The community is organized around the related but significantly distinct

identities built around bottoming and topping. However, Newmahr (2011) notes that

through play, gender is performed, mimicked, extended, challenged and subverted. She

continues, despite the close association between SM identification and gender –

dominants are males, submissive are females – the former cannot be understood simply as

displacement of the latter. As there are women that consensually enjoy to be dominant, so

there are men who enjoy being dominated.

19 Dominant or “dom” indicates the dominant role, in a BDSM power relationship. Top is another term that
identifies the dominant.
20 Submissive in BDSM indicate a submissive role contrasting a dominating one. It can also be shortened as

“sub” with the same meaning. Bottom might be used as a synonym.

16
 Overall, studies on BDSM communities engage with issues such as gender

performativity, power dynamics, feminism, conceptualisation of pain and so forth. Despite

being wary of their importance in approaching rope bondage, they are not the focus of this

project.

Having said that, the core of this thesis is the therapeutic impact of rope bondage, for

how it has been reported to me by people who attend the Garden. This discourse of

healing is particularly striking, since BDSM has been historically considered as a

pathology21. Indeed, BDSM features as a classification of psychiatric disorder in the

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (APA 2013). It is, to some degree,

still pathologized in the fifth edition22; it considers BDSM behaviours as paraphilic

disorders 23 if they cause distress or impairment to self or others (Westrum 2016). This is

the actual understanding of BDSM in the Euro-American medical system, reports Turley

(2011). Following her thesis, the existing research that examines BDSM from a non-

pathologizing perspective (Ortmann and Sprott 2013, Kleinpatz 2006, Morgan 2014,

Sagarin et al. 2009), approaching SM not as a symptom of mental illness but as a relatively

healthy social phenomenon (Wismeijer and vanAssen 2013, Westrum 2016), performed by

well educated people with positive attitudes about themselves and their behaviours

21 Turley (2011) and Westrum (2016) in their literature review state that for many years, academic focus on
BDSM has centred on its categorisation as a form of psychopathology, implying that people who engage wi th
it or have any desires regarding extreme sexual practices, is pathological regardless of whether or not the
individual experiences is a problem or is causing a problem to other people.
22 http://www. dsm5.org The DSM-V has been released in 2013. [Accessed 25.08.2017]

23 Mc Manus et al. (2013) affirm that paraphilias are difficult to define, contentious as a basis for l egal

processes, and their classification not short of criticism. They report that due to societal shift on what is
defined as sexually deviant the use of ‘paraphilic’ has significantly changed over time, and within cultures,
and thus strict definitions of a paraphilia are problematic. In DSM-V it has been proposed a new definiti on of
paraphilia as: “any powerful and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in copulatory or pre-
copulatory behaviour with phenotypically normal, consenting adult hu man partners” (p.367; [12]).

17
(Krueger 2010), is increasing. Newmahr (2011), indeed, concludes that BDSM is a

recreational leisure activity rather than a deviant one.

Although the qualitative methodologies employed in existing BDSM research

(Newmahr 2011, Turley 2011, Scott 2015, Lawrence and Love-Crowell 2007, Baker 2016)

have generated interesting and informative findings, this review has identified that a study

of the lived experience of rope bondage is absent. There appears to be a lack of research

asking “what is it like to participate in rope bondage?” In order to enlighten the complexity

of this phenomenon is necessary to adopt a qualitative research framework that

recognises the importance of the ways in which individuals make sense of their worldly

experiences. I believe that employing a phenomenological approach to investigate the

phenomenon of rope bondage as lived by participants, will help to address the gap that

currently exists in this under researched topic.

However, before addressing phenomenology, I will briefly review how a community is

conceptualized in anthropology, in order to position my research within that framework.

The dictionary24 defines community as “members of a group of people that have

something in common with each other, which distinguish them in a significant way from

the members of other groups”. Thereby, a community implies similarities and differences.

Challenging the structuralist approach of Durkheim, Cohen (1985) and Turner (1969)

claim that in seeking to understand the social phenomenon of community we have to

regard its constituent social relations as repositories of meaning for its members. Cohen

(1985) asserts that a community exists in the minds of its members and should not be

confused with geographic or sociographic assertion of facts. However, according to

24 http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/community [Accessed 22.08.2017]

18
Lefebvre (1991), the space itself is important in the creation of a community. Buchli (2013)

states that architecture, materiality and design impact not only the way people interact,

make relations, perceive each other; but also, how people perceive and interact with the

space, thus the experience of it (Miller 2001, Douglas 1991).

Additionally, a community is an entity to which one belongs. It gives a sense of

identity. Hetherington (1998) states that identity as well as being about identification and

organisation is also about spatiality. A community is the arena in which people acquire

their most fundamental and most substantial experience of social life outside the confines

of the home (Cohen 1985). Thus, the community is where one learns and continues to

practice how to “be social”, in terms of acquiring the symbols shared in their social

context. Lefebvre (1991), speaking of spatiality and body, states that gestures embody

ideology and blind it to practice. Through gestures, ideology escapes from pure abstraction

and performs actions. However, in Lefebvre’s (1991) understanding, gestures are also

closely connected with the objects which fill the space – furniture, clothing, instruments

and places of residence.

Thus, moving away from the emphasis on structure, I consider a community a

phenomenon of culture: as one, therefore, which is meaningfully constructed by people

through their symbolic resources. And yet, I believe that the space, interpreted as the

physical space within those symbols and values are shared, is an important factor that

needs to be considered in analysing a community.

With this idea of community in mind, and with the intention to gain an understanding

of potential therapeutic aspects of rope bondage in people’s experiences, I approached the

fieldwork with a phenomenological method. As rope bondage is a practice done by and on

19
the body, I used a theoretical framework that allowed me to have an insight on people’s

bodily experiences as they appear to experiencers. Hence, I focused my attention on the

sensations perceived during the scene, whether while tying or being tied.

Phenomenology makes no a priori assumption about the phenomenon, affirm

Register and Henley (1992). It is particularly concerned with the diversity and variety of

human experiences, and the manners in which individuals impose meanings on their

worlds. Matthews (2002:8) affirms “a phenomenological approach to perception requires

us to start by describing perception as we actually experience it, before we begin to

theorize”. In Merleau-Ponty (1962) understanding, the world of objects is not something

apart from us as subjects, acting upon us casually, but the place we, as subjects, inhabit. It

emerges the inseparability of subject and world. A subject that is essentially in the world, is

necessarily embodied, for only a subject that is inseparable from a body can have a place in

the world, in space and time. Human beings are inextricably connected to the world

through their bodies. The body is not something to be objectively observed, but is

something fundamental to humans’ engagement with the world, states Matthews (2002).

From a medical anthropology perspective, embodiment is the process in which people

incorporate the social and material world in which they live in. Since humans are biological

and social beings, embodiment is a useful analytical tool in analysing how social dynamics

influence the physical body. It can be used in assessing increase of well-being conducting a

bodily practice as rope bondage, starting from the practitioners’ bodies and their

perception of their own bodies. This approach to embodiment postulates that the body is

not an object to be studied in relation to culture, but is to be considered as the subject of

culture; it influences and is influenced by culture, as Csordas (1990) state. Thus, the body

20
will be the starting point from which I chose to analyse the therapeutic impact of rope

bondage.

This review of the existing literature has identified that rope bondage can be framed

within a BDSM context. The absence of suitable literature highlights the need to explore

the specific practice of rope bondage given the fact that very little research has been done

on this, in the UK or elsewhere. It also emerged that the majority of studies tend to focus

on BDSM from a psychopathological perspective; still, researchers that approach it from a

non-pathologizing perspective are increasing. However, not only there is little academic

research on rope bondage; but also, there are no studies on the therapeutic impact of this

practice. As the primary focus is to capture not only the lived experiences as reported by

the participants, but also key healing constituents of the phenomenon as it is lived, I will

use a phenomenological approach. This is where I want to position my project.

21
 3. Methodology

In order to gain an insight into the healing aspect of rope bondage as it is experienced by

those who practice it, I approached the field using classical ethnographic methods – semi-

structured interviews and participant observation.

Participant observation

I conducted a five weeks’ fieldwork in a UK rope community, named The Garden. This is a

place where people can practice rope bondage, in addition to attend events dedicated to

it. I chose this particular space because of its unique approach to rope bondage, which I

will explain later. The Garden holds two jam sessions 25 a week: one for beginners and the

other for advanced practitioners, both in the evenings. I consciously chose to participate

regularly to the advanced classes, rarely to the beginners’ ones. During the jams the space

is open to everyone, paying an entrance fee. Personally, I entered without paying, after

speaking to the owner about my research. Being there gave me access to very experienced

practitioners and to the people that I then interviewed, but also to the space itself, that

constitutes an important object of the research. The narratives about these events have

been elaborated on the basis of notes taken just after the sessions, during my journey

home.

Additionally, I used social media – such as Instagram, Facebook and FetLife26 – to

find events and meetings. These websites have the benefit to be public or semi-public – in

25 “Rope Jam sessions are evenings in which people are able to discover, connect, interact, exchange,
examine, create, experiment and develop. The jams are open to all levels and interests. Beginners, veterans
and the curious are all welcome” states the Garden website. Essentially, people can enter and exercise or just
socialize. There is no obligation to play.
26 FetLife is a social networking website that serves to people who are interested in BDSM, fetishism and kink

activities. It is very similar to Facebook but it is run and used mostly by kinksters. It is a “member only” site,
so you have to sign up in order to use it. It is free. Once you are a member you could create a personal profile

22
order to gain access to the profiles, I had to “follow” or ask for “friendship”. This method of

research, particularly FetLife, allowed me to access explicit pictures that are censored or

rejected by other sites. Still, the data I collected through these websites are secondary

sources.

Newmahr (2011) in her ethnography reported:

“This kind of research demands attention to my body as a source of data and a tool for
meaning-making. As both the site of what I wish to understand and how I will
understand it, my body will function as subject, object, and method, for there is no
way to understand SM, or its participants, without a sense of what it feels like to
engage in it”.
(ibid. 15)

I approached the Garden community with the same belief. During my time in the field, I

experienced being tied and, just on rare occasions, I tied. This because tying safely requires

a technical knowledge that I do not have.

Thus, I was a bottom, as well as an interviewer and an observer. I used my own body

to reach an understanding not only of the practice but also of the people and their position

in the community. Through this intertwining of bottoming, critical reflection and

theorisation, I adopted a new role within the researched community. In fact, I have been

tied – either before or after the interview – by some of the riggers that I interviewed. This

allowed me to create a deep and closer connection with them. I used this relationship as a

mean to clarify and dig further some aspects of rope bondage that I was experiencing with

them.

and list which fetishes you are into and curious about. It is more explicit and less censored than other s oc i a l
media websites.

23
Semi-structured interviews

The majority of data comes from twelve semi-structured interviews. Six participants

identify themselves as males, five as females and one as transgender. However, in order to

abide by anonymity, I chose not to reveal who the transgender informant is. Regarding the

sexual orientation, seven declared to be heterosexuals, two heteroflexibles, two

pansexuals 27 and one bisexual. They are all Caucasians, and the majority held a master or

Ph.D. The average age is 38 years old.

In the following table, I illustrate the participants’ information which are regarded as

pivotal in the context of my discussion. In the present work, I will address my informants

exclusively with the pseudonyms listed below.

Name Gender Sexual Age Role in ropes Years of

orientation practice

Sara Female Heteroflexible Mid 30s Bottom/Switch 3 years

Carlo Male Heterosexual Late 50s Rigger 2 years

Alice Female Bisexual Mid 20s Bottom 3 years

Salvatore Male Heterosexual Late 30s Switch 6 months

Enrico Male Heterosexual Late 50s Rigger 2 years

Marika Female Heterosexual Late 30s Bottom 15 years

on and off

27 Pansexual, following the Oxford Dictionary, indicates a broad form of sexual orientation, in which the
pansexual individual experiences sexual a ttraction towards members of all genders, including transgender,
transsexual, gender-fluid, and all other variety of gender identifications . Ultimately, a pansexual is not limited
in sexual choices with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/pansexual [Accessed 5th September 2017]

24
Marco Male Heterosexual Early 30s Rigger 5 years

Rosa Female Heterosexual Mid 30s Bottom/Switch 1 year

Thomas Male Heteroflexible Mid 30s Rigger/Switch 3.5 years

Caterina Female Pansexual Late 30s Switch 6 years

Nao Female Pansexual Late 20s Bottom/Switch 1 year

Nicola Male Heterosexual Mid 30s Bottom/Self- 1 year

tying

Before starting the interview, I explained my project. Considering the potential

sensible topic, I assured anonymity and I clarified that they could withdraw at any time. All

participants, after signing an information-consent form, were interviewed and audiotaped

for between sixty and ninety minutes. Open-ended questions were used flexibly; being

omitted and adapted according to the demands of individual context. In this way,

questions were used to promote a two-way dialogue. I was also able to do a focus group.

I transcribed the records of the interviews verbatim, with the occasional exception of

a bracketed description of off-topic digressions. From listening to the audiotapes, initial

discursive themes were identified. I manually coded field-notes and interview transcripts.

This allowed me to remain close to my data and inductively spot patterns and correlates,

building on my observations made during fieldwork. Themes were grouped together and

then checked for emerging patterns, for variability and consistency of specific discourses.

The interpretation of these themes was conducted by a process of reading and re-reading,

as well as references to relevant literature.

25
Anonymity

The Garden is unique and fairly famous. Thus, being the space an essential object of the

research, I described it – although not in detail. I consciously chose to change the

participants’ names, as well as their bodily descriptions, in order to abide by anonymity. In

doing so, I maintained gender – except from one informant, as mentioned before – and

age, as they are relevant to the individuals’ perception of the space and how they are

perceived in it. Some of the attendees have their own pseudonyms; however, I deliberately

choose not to use them as for it would have been clear to the people familiar with the rope

scene to who I am referring to. In order to anonymize everyone, I used my favourite

names. There is no meaning behind them.

I chose not to take any picture in order to respect one of the rules of the place28. If I

did take any photo at all, it was without anyone in it. Still, I consented to others taking

pictures of myself, of which I chose to use three (Figures 10, 11, 12) to give a sense of what

rope bondage is about.

Limits

I was not able to be as inclusive as I would have liked; there were a variety of issues

that would have been interesting to pursue but that I chose not to, due to the time and

length at my disposal. The results of this thesis are based on the information that the

people I met and observed gave me. I interviewed a small group, constituted mainly by

28Referring to the scene that two people are performing, they allow to take pictures of their work, as long as
there are no other people’s faces and the bottom consented to it.

26
regular attendees. A different or a bigger number of participants would have resulted in a

different perspective, thus a different thesis.

Additionally, this research cannot represent everybody as there are people whose

voices and experiences are not directly involved in my fieldwork.

Finally, this dissertation is exclusively about rope bondage as for how it is

experienced in a particular UK public space; the Garden. It is also crucial to note that my

discussion is not intended to analyse the experiences of the practitioners during artistic

performances and that it is not synonymous with people who practice BDSM activities.

Self-reflexivity

Before starting my fieldwork, I explained to the owner of the Garden my project and

intentions since I wanted to be sure not to be perceived as a threat. This put me in a

privileged position: not only she let me enter the jams without paying the entrance fee,

but also, she “looked after me”, introducing me to people that, for her, would have been

interesting to interview. Thus, this being the case, I had access to the very core of the

Garden. Additionally, being myself a practitioner rather than just an observer; I could not

only see how the place was organized, but also experience myself rope bondage, as it is

practiced and taught in the studio.

Conducting a research from an insider position holds both advantages and

disadvantages. I was quite open about the research I was conducting. I presented myself as

an anthropology student, interested in sexual studies, and I was generally warmly

welcomed. I approached the attendees and we spoke several times before I asked them if

27
they were interested in being interviewed. When conducting interviews, they were

comfortable in speaking with me because they knew me, or knew of me. Moreover, I was

trusted to maintain issues of confidentiality and to respect any restrictions placed around

stories told me.

The disadvantages of conducting research from an insider-participatory position

come from the challenge to separate my personal experiences from the important aspects

emerged. Additionally, while providing space for reflexivity, participant observation also

produces ‘thick’ qualitative information. For practicality, I have only presented in this work

the associations which are of specific theoretical interest. I chose to adopt a narrative style

of writing with abstracts from the interviews, in order to give a voice to the people that

trusted me enough to share their experiences with me.

Markowitz and Ashkenazi (1999) affirm that writing about sex, anthropologist

expose themselves, their informants and their partners to eventual ethical issues inherent

to personal and professional reputations. They continue, in revealing their sexual

encounters – how did it happen or how they used the field for personal growth and sexual

experimentation – anthropologists may jeopardize the integrity of their own research.

Markowitz (1999) states that sexual abstinence during research is a typical mark of

anthropology. Still, as human beings, anthropologists are always sexed individuals. Hence,

in approaching a practice that involves close bodily contact and can be understood as

sexual, I had to reflect on my position not only as a researcher but also as a sexed woman.

28
This self-understanding was pivotal for my experience of rope bondage, regardless the fact

that I did not witness any explicit sexual activity29.

Auto-ethnography analyses the social world around the writer, as evinced in the

writer’s experiences, and not the writer himself, states Lancaster (2011). I used my notes

following this definition, to report conversations and actions “on the field” as I experienced

them, towards a richer understanding of the members of this community and of the social

world they inhabit.

This project aims to explore the members of the Garden’s experiences, not mine.

However, I included my descriptions of events when I considered it necessary. The use of

these narratives does not, in my view, situate this dissertation as an auto-ethnography.

29 I did not assist to any performance involving sex in terms of penetrative act.

29
 4. Therapeutic Impact

In my research, it emerged that rope bondage has many positive effects on people’s lives.

What do people experience when they engage with the practice that leads them to feel

better? How is rope bondage therapeutic? These questions are at the hearth of this project

and are addressed in the subsequent 4 chapters. In this chapter, I document how

participants frame rope bondage as therapeutic. They reported increased sense of well-

being, given by feeling safe and vulnerable in ropes, connecting with their bodies, escaping

the self through ropes and learning how to be in the present. In this sense, I define rope

bondage as “therapeutic”. Still, these benefits come about because rope bondage brings

people into a community, which, indeed, is the main benefit reported by the participants.

Short and long term well-being

In using the term “therapeutic”, I refer to an increase of well-being in a long and

short term that my participants reported. This condition results from a variety of benefits,

which are all interconnected, resulting in a better approach to daily life. Sara:

There is short term and long term well-being. So, short term well being might be
someone doing a rope scene and then they're full of endorphin and they feel amazing
[…] Then there is like long term well -being where this has become something that's part
of your life. You have a social network that you have not before. I know a lot of people
who for example are chronically shy, including people with autism, people who were
completely isolated. This is a very difficult city to make social networks and they found
one through rope. They get to be physically close to people, they get to be touched, they
get to touch others, consensually and in a healthy environment. And they have this sort
of ongoing state of well -being, but I feel like the well-being is not really the rope but is
really the network, the friendship, the community. That's basically the benefit that I see
in ropes. You have a community of friends where you can be totally open about very
difficult topics. In the rope scene, people are very open to talking about mental health

30
 issues, STDs without stigma, about sexuality and kink and explaining things and r ea di ng
stuff. They're very willing to talk about consent and these are very healthy things. Having
a more open dialogue is a very healthy thing and on top of that they get you know to be
physically close to someone which maybe wouldn't have happened in other
environments if they were just going to the pub. These are all really good incredible
variables in the equation.

Sara here touches most of the points that I will analyse throughout the

chapters. She mentions a general increase of well-being, but in her opinion, the major

benefit that the attendees gain from doing ropes is the community of like-minded

people.

Gaining skills
Thomas, as other informants, reported a variety of benefits, among which a decrease

of anxiety, or a better approach in dealing with it.

Being partially autistic I tend to have a lot of anxiety panic and rope is a wonderful
antidote and helps me to manage that. […] The feeling of rope running through my
fingers. It is incredibly relaxing. Also, doing the same things over and over again,
following the same patters, trying to do them in a smoother and more flowing way, it is
mentally calming. […] Another benefit that I noticed, is that my concentration at work
has been improved. I used to work long hours really hard. When I got into ropes I was
like: “the class start at 7pm so I need to be out of here by 6pm”. I have a deadline to my
work now, pretty much every day of the week. That makes me work in a much more
efficient way which means I spend less time stressing. Interesting side benefit: it also
made people think "oh, this is a guy who doesn't work long hours, maybe he needs a
promotion because we're not keeping him enough busy "

Thomas is slightly autistic and the need of doing over and over again the same thing,

in a rope bondage environment is calming but also beneficial, in terms of getting better at

tying. Leder (1990) in his discourse of corporeality notes that a skill is fully learned when

31
something that once was grasped only through explicit rules and examples, now comes to

pervade one’s corporeality. Rope bondage is an activity that requires technical and

behavioural skills, which ultimately needs to be incorporated, in order to be practiced

safely. The more riggers exercise, the sooner they will master the technicality of the

practice. In addition, being good at it, Thomas gained popularity in the rope community,

resulting in an increase of confidence, not only in his personal life but also at work.

Whereas Rosa, mentions an increase of responsibility because to tie, or to suspend

someone, it is dangerous.

I'd say definitely responsibility and awareness . For example, when you rig you have to be
responsible over the person you're tying, over safety. You have to have proper judgment
about what are you doing, how to do it, how long you do it, how you read the sign al of
the person tied and be able to do it every moment. Also, it teaches you to let go and
trusting someone because you're totally depending on someone. When you are inside
the rope you're giving your body and your physical freedom and you can't just do that if
you don't trust the person. You have to 100% trust the person, I think no other everyday
situation where there has to be such a great amount of trust.

Rosa mentions the responsibility of the rigger in reading the signals of the bottom.

Hence, as a rigger, you learn to judge the situation and act consequently. It results in the

ability to focus in the everyday life, as Thomas showed, but also in learning how to trust

someone enough to give up control.

Focusing on the present

Sara:

You become very present within your body because you have to. Everything in my brain
quiets down. I like control in my life, as a kind of a stereotype, I like organizing. I am a

32
 problem solver, a thinker. When I am inside the ropes my brain just shuts down. It forces
you to do that, I am not thinking about the groceries or I need to pa y my bills.

Enrico is a rigger:

I would relate it to meditation. I would relate it to focus on body experiences, to

forgetting, being able to forget what is going on around you, to totally let go in the same
way that massages could. It allows me to focus and not think about anything else. That in
itself is a huge benefit to not have your mind races. Other people being around doesn't
really matter. I don't notice them at all.

Almost all the informants said that doing rope thought them how to focus on just one

thing: on the person being tied – for the riggers – on their bodies – for the bottoms, as Sara

and Enrico show. Baumeister (1988) argues that the responsible, decision-making aspect of

the self is prevented by being tied. Such cognition is replaced by the focus on one's

helplessness and vulnerability, on the immediate present and bodily sensations.

The parallel between meditation and the sensation felt in doing rope bondage

mentioned by Enrico, emerged in a variety of conversations. People do all kind of activities

trying to reduce their stress and connect with their inner-self. Westrum (2016) concludes

that bondage has the same effect.

You have this focus that goes into detail and into the body. I think this is also somethi ng
that is a universal appeal of shibari because it helps you a lot being in the moment, it
forces you to really be in the moment, the past the future all the worries everything is
gone. You're just in that space.

As Marika attests, during the field emerged another beneficial aspect in bottoms’

experiences: the liberating feeling of being restraint by ropes. In modern societies,

particularly within Euro-American cultures, strong emotional displays are often deemed

33
unprofessional, hence coping with unexpressed emotions can be a challenge. Exchanging

internal psychological pain for distinct yet controlled physical pain may be one explanation

of masochism30, affirms Baumeister (1988). He states that sexual masochism proliferated

when Euro-American culture became highly individualistic. The cultural emphasis on the

individual increased the pressure burden of the self-hood, leading to a greater desire to

escape from the self, even masochistically. “Considering the amount of stress experienced

in the society we live in; being able to focus on the present, it is liberating”, says Nao.

Escaping the self through pain

Scarry (1985) argues that pain gradually obliterates psychological content, eventually

leaving only the awareness of the physical body part that is dolorous. One's knowledge of

the world is temporarily forgotten, and attention is narrowed to the immediate present,

both spatially and temporally. One implication of her argument is that pain can be

conceptualized as an escape from identity to body. However, Scarry (1985) frames pain as

inherently unpleasant – it comes with injury. While in the rope bondage community, pain

can be perceived as an effective, pleasant means of temporarily clearing the mind from

unwanted thoughts. Rosa affirms:

You're not in the here and now anymore. You are in a cloud, not being able to do
anything but just letting it happen no matter what comes. Sometimes it gets super-hard.
You feel that you can't take it and then you just think “I'm waiting for another 10
seconds and if it's too much I will say something” and then you just push and push
another 10 seconds and finally you realize that you can take it and that can be very
transgressive.

30A masochist is a person who enjoys pain. He or she is gratified by pain or degradation that is self -i mpos ed
or imposed by others.

34
 As Rosa shows, pain play31 in rope bondage is accepted, desired and wanted –

depending on the bottom’s preferences. Resisting to pain, confronting and adjusting to it is

beneficial. My notes (Figure 3) report: “To be in control of not being in control is

empowering”. Sagarin et al. (2009) highlight the liberating feeling elicited by this releasing

of initiative. Ernulf and Innala (1995) conceptualise the desire to take a submissive-role in

bondage as eliminating the freedom of action; indeed, pain facilitates escape from high-

level self-awareness. This aspect emerged in a variety of interview. Tying is restrictive, by

definition. It is a power relationship in which the bottom and the rigger have a different

access to resources: the latter has more control on where the scene could lead. The tied

person has restricted influence on planning the next moves. S(he) is relieved from initiative

for that moment. Still, this does not mean that s(he) has no control at all. I will explore

later the negotiation of consent and the amount of control that the bottom has.

31 Pain play is any activity which specifically involves the infliction, or manipulation of pain, usually to achieve
a particular state of mind. In BDSM play it is considered arousing if done consensually.

35
 Figure 3: My fieldnotes. Reflection on restraint as empowering. My picture.

A journey of self-discovery

Newmahr (2011) uses the term “cathartic” to describe pain play, because you are so

focused on your inners self that it reveals some issue hidden inside. Being tied can be a

helpless, hopeless, painful situation. This can be a powerful, difficult circumstance to move

into and through; however, if the experience is consensual it may lead to confront one’s

issues. Thus, it can be framed as potential healing, states Westrum (2016). Rosa on this

comments:

If it gets very explicit your inside turns outside and it might reveal things about you
that have been hidden. […] You feel your body so much because it gives you very
strong signals. You feel the pressure, you feel the pain, you feel the contortions, you
feel your weight being pressed inside the ropes . It gives you a very direct feedback
from your body. Which probably couldn't be more intense than this. I couldn't think
of a more immediate connection that you can have with your body and mind .

36
Alice:

Learning how to listen to your body gave you a major awareness of what is
happening to you. This can result in an increase of self-esteem and confidence. You
learn about yourselves emotionally and physically. I learned so much about my body.
I never imagined how strong my body was before doing shibari.

Rosa mentions the connection whit her body gained through being tied. Whereas

Alice describes her relationship with rope bondage as a journey of self-discovery. Being

tied results in creating a connection with your own body, increasing confidence and self-

esteem. “You feel strong and very beautiful inside the ropes.” said Beatrice during the

focus group. In order to avoid severe injuries, the bottom has to be vigilant on the signal

that the body is sending, whereas the rigger has to focus on the bottom reactions.

Physically is a tiring activity for both roles: muscles and mind are under a lot of pressure.

Still, it is a personal accomplishment, for parties to be able to create and experience a

“good” scene. “Allowing yourself to be vulnerable but safe is a rare experience in

adulthood, and ropes enable it” says Alice. Newmahr (2011:102) states that SM requires

a specialized set of skills and provides particular social-psychological rewards. I am keen

to say the same for rope bondage. Similar findings are reported by Wismeijer and

vanAssen (2013) in BDSM, whereas Westrum (2016) affirms that bondage has a potential

transformative healing path. Connecting with your body, accepting and exploring your

desires, leads you to a be more flexible, more open regarding human contact. It can be

conceptualized as a journey in self-awareness and self-acceptance. Sara, speaking about

the increase of self-awareness:

37
 This is something that I hear all the time. It is because you have this dialogue about the
body and how everyone is different. You have to really think about your body and accept
it. There is such a large spectrum of body types and is much more of an inclusive, diverse
scene. I mean, just in the studio you see all kinds of sizes, all kinds of colours and
everybody gets to connect with people and everybody gets to find a partner. No one is
left behind and you start to accept who you are and you don't feel as fucking weird. In
the mainstream society there are all these labels and boxes, and all the things that you
have to fit in are so strict. In the kink scene, it's a bit more fluid and you can be into all
sorts of kink. There is a lot of more body acceptance, more dialogue and it does help you
to accept yourselves a bit more. You don't feel like so much of a freak because everyone
is a freak around you.

Joining the community

According to Sara and all my informants, the biggest benefit is gaining a community of

open-minded people. Gradually the people who approach this space change their social

circles. Luca, in his FetLife profile writes:

The Garden had such a real and positive impact on my life and happiness, and the
lives of those around me. It's shaped who I see on a nearly daily basis; the people
who are now those I love, those I consider best friends, those I live with, those I've
traveled around the world with and shared incredible experiences with. […] I guess
that a lot of people who are now close to me could have remained passing
acquaintances without the regular hub of the Garden or we may never have met at
all. It has helped bring together a group of like-minded friends, fostered a supportive,
generous and forgiving culture full of diversity, helped countless newcomers take up
rope for the first time and helped much more develop further on a solid foundation
and collective knowledge-base.

Rosa:

I've found quite a lot of people doing ropes. Before I had few friends and I was doing
things like reading or going to exhibition more like a solitary thing but rope is somethi ng
that you can just do together so you kind of expose yourself to a lot of people. It has

38
 been an interesting growth process in terms of getting to know so many people, finding
contacts but also friendships there and it has been quite enriching.

Discussion

In this initial chapter, I demonstrate, chiefly through ethnographic sources, how the

participants frame rope bondage as therapeutic. The findings showed that this practice

“heals” because it brings people into a community – the Garden – increasing their sense of

well-being. The attendees have to recognize their desires; they have to accept their inner-

selves, in order to have a pleasant experience tying or getting tied. Creating a connection

with one’s own body and inner-self is empowering and results in personal growth,

increases in confidence, and self-esteem. Moreover, increased self-awareness, as indicated

by the interviewees, has healing potential. “Being tortured and yet deeply feeling the

connection of the mind and body is transgressive” says Westrum (2016,46). The same

understanding emerged from some of my informants. It is liberating and empowering.

While many of my participants described several benefits, often interrelated, of

engaging in the practice; Sara, the owner of the Garden, is cautious on defining rope

bondage as therapeutic because, in her opinion, there is no scientific evidence to prove

this. Indeed, there is little academic literature. Still, while she acknowledges that rope

bondage has therapeutic benefits, as she says: “there are a lot of people with serious

psychological issues and trauma that are themselves using kink as therapy that works for

them”; she does not promote it to the general public as a form of therapy. Further,

although this chapter focuses on the healing effects for many participants, it is worth

pointing out that it is not my intention to encourage this activity as healing for everyone.

39
This is because rope bondage requires a deep understanding of the body, both for the

rigger or for the bottom. It does also involve some risk in terms of restraint and pain.

Overall, accordingly to the participants’ experiences rope bondage has therapeutic

effects; it increments their sense of well-being. Still, none of this would have happened

without the Garden, the space where rope bondage can be practiced. In the sense of

community perceived by the participants, the inclusive values and atmosphere of the

Garden emerged as fundamental in their experiences.

40
 5. The Relationships

In this chapter, I explore the relationships that the attendees are able to create due to

inclusive, non-judgmental and non-discriminatory values shared in the Garden. They are

the foundations upon which exists the community, among which the attendees are

welcomed independently from their aspect and beliefs. It results in a safe environment

that highly values consent and promotes talks on issues normally ignored or considered

taboo in the outer society. Additionally, the lack of judgment elicited by the values is

fundamental in positively framing the participants’ experiences.

The people

During the fieldwork emerged that most of the attendees arrive at the Garden from BDSM.

They are an ensemble of very diverse people, sharing a passion for rope.

One of the major social benefit it's not actually just the community itself but how diverse
the community is. Through the rope scene I've friends who are academics, sex workers,
architects, bankers, artists, driving instructors, soldiers. It is a cross sectiona l s oc iety. I t
tends to be fairly bright. The number of people who went to Oxford or Cambridge is
ridiculous. The number of them having a Ph.D. is definitely disproportionally high.

Thomas here refers to the variety of backgrounds that the attendees of the Garden

have. It elicits a reflection on the interrelation between social identities of the people who

practice rope bondage. Silverstein and Lewin (2016) referring to the intersectionality

theory, affirm that no single identity category could be deployed without considering

others, because they are deeply intertwined social identities. Race, class, gender and

sexuality categories are understood to be mutually constitutive; they reinforce, and

naturalize one another (Schields 2008). Sagarin et al. (2009) and Newmahr (2011) report a

41
disproportion of white well-educated practitioners engaging in BDSM. Cruz (2016:5)

suggests “the rope is a memory of slavery” as an explanation for this absence.

In relation to the economic aspect of the Garden, there is an entrance fee to access

the jams. Events and workshop are more expensive, depending on the teachers and

performers. This might discourage people who cannot afford to pay that. On the other

hand, the owners are very much aware of it: they periodically held community classes 32

where the attendees pay what they can.

Scott (2015:166) states “It costs money to be kinky” referring to the expensive price of

toys 33. She argues that BDSM entails the consumerism typical of capitalistic societies. I

believe that rope bondage is slightly different. The only thing that you really need in doing

rope bondage is ropes and time to learn how to use them properly. Additionally, rope is

highly fluid; it is possible to create a variety of tools 34 just with it. However, it is not

everlasting: “on average, it lasts a year but it depends on the usage”, says Marco.

Overall, the majority of the people that I interviewed and that attended the space

while I was there, are white well-educated people in their thirties, and, as Thomas said,

“fairly bright”. Krueger (2010) report that SM practitioners are emotionally and

32 Classes done for the community. The Garden’s website it says “we strive to bring you the best shibari
classes with the very best teachers we know, and although the workshops can be pricey, we think they’re
well worth the investment, especially considering rope can be a high-risk activity! However, not everyone is
able to afford our classes, and being committed to the dissemination of rope education as we are in the
studio, we wanted to offer everyone the possibility to learn within their budgets in the new year. For this
reason, we are introducing semi-regular ‘Pay-What-You-Can’ community shibari classes by our in-house
teachers. The classes will follow an informal structure, providing a mix of tutoring and peer lab time. These
classes are aimed at: students, those working minimum wage jobs, those who are unemployed or between
jobs, those on low-income wages, and those who are otherwise unable to afford our regular classes,
workshops and courses.
33 Toys, in this case, refers to the variety of object that can be used in kinky plays, such as gags – an object put

over the mouth to prevent speaking, considered arousing if done consensually –, whips, paddle etc.
34 Rubel (2016), and some interviewees , report that rope can be used to create almost anything. It can be

used to restrain, to create handcuffs, to whip, to silent the person etc.

42
psychologically well-balanced and generally comfortable with their sexual orientation. I am

keen to affirm the same for the Garden members.

Still, furthers studies should be done in order to enlighten how race, class, gender and

sexual orientation shape and are shaped by taking part in this activity.

The inclusive values

The Garden website, under “our philosophy” says:

it is but one tiny corner of the world, but we are deeply committed to providing such a
safe place within our walls. This post is a reminder of the values we uphold in the studio:

• Consent
• Female positive & LGBTQ+ positive: offering a safe, open and welcoming space for
people of all sexual and gender orientations with zero tolerance for anti-LGBT
attitudes, harassment or hate speech

• Sex/Kink-positivity: as a broad ideology and world view, sex positivity is simply the idea
that all sex, as long as it is healthy and explicitly cons ensual, is a positive thing
• Body-positivity: being body positive means accepting yourself and others as you are,
regardless of size, shape, colour and to be not afraid of being visible
• Diversity, Inclusivity & Tolerance: we welcome anyone from any background, religion or
creed in to our space – ALL are welcome

Inside the Garden these values are very respected and promoted, resulting in a very

inclusive, non-judgmental atmosphere. Sara creates the society in which she dreams to live

in, as she said: “We can't control the world but we can control 500 share feet of it.” She

organized a space where everyone is welcomed, regardless of their aspect, gender, sexual

orientation or desires. In every interview emerged this aspect as beneficial.

Little details increase this sense of inclusiveness. Men and women can equally cover

or expose whatever body parts they want; the bathroom is unisex and the language tends

43
to be neutral. Few interviewees said: “To be able to be in that community is important to

leave the ego at the door”. Nicola on this comment:

the moment you enter there are few roles that you can take. Most of the time you have to
ask what they like. I think that in the normal society, there are gender roles, but even

when it is not gender roles there are stereotypical assumpti ons that you can do. […] I
think that they break out some of the static roles that tend to pervade a lot of the other
places. Then, of course, there is the fact that it is LGBT+ positive, the fact that for chance,
or maybe not, a lot of the people are switches, and there is a good balance between
riggers and bunnies.

In Nicola’s perception, the Garden is different from other places in terms of values

shared, on the habits of asking consent, and on the roles that attendees perform. In fact,

people tend to avoid labels – they do not use terms such as submissive or dominant. In

Newmahr’s (2011) study, women and men do not follow the rules of gender presentation.

Gender is done not only through the body, but through quotidian actions that construct

and maintain gender identities, states Butler (1988). In the Garden, everyday performances

of masculinity and femininity exist, and yet they are not the basis from which to start a

conversation. Being a place dedicated to rope bondage, people prefer to identify

themselves in terms of bottom or rigger. They are categories that tend to be gendered –

riggers are usually male while bottoms are females. Still, the Garden is fairly unique: it is

not highly gendered disproportionate and many attendees identify as switch, as Nicola

showed.

44
Negotiating consent

In the Garden the values shared and supported creates a safe environment where

everyone is welcomed. Nonetheless, before each and every human contact, there is the

necessity to ask consent.

The definition of consent depends on the context. The legal definitions of sexual

consent vary, though there is a trend towards an affirmative model 35 in law, policy and

educational efforts (Newmahr 2011). In heteronormative encounters consent is more

frequently communicated non-verbally36, rather than verbally. On the contrary, in BDSM

practices approval need to be established every time, with every partner. Safe, sane and

consensual (SSC) is a mantra constantly repeated in BDSM communities. Consent norms

are composed of pre-negotiation of allowed activities, and the use of safe-words 37 or pre-

arranged non-verbal signals to indicate to stop. Each voice has equal importance during the

pre-negotiation (Newmahr 2011). Both partners have to be as clear as possible regarding

their preferences, wishes, boundaries, and medical concerns. Consent process is perceived,

state Beres and MacDonald (2015), as empowering.

In rope bondage, the negotiation starts when a rigger and a bottom decide to tie

together. They get to know what the other person wants, they choose if they can enjoy the

experience considering both desires. Barkas (2016) affirms that the negotiation does not

end during the tying. The rigger should continuously check the condition of the person tied

35 Newmahr (2011) defines this “affirmative model” as a positive indication that both people want to engage
in sex, rather than the absence of resistance or refusal
36 It is often conveyed indirectly, through acts such as the removal of clothes. It is considered more important

in new relationships or casual sex, rather than in long-term relationships, says Newmahr (2011).
37 In BDSM, a safe-word is an agreed code word or other signal used, usually by the bottoms, to communicate

their physical or emotional state to the dominant. Scott (2015) reminds us that “people seem to forget that
the dom might want to use the safe word too. It is not an exclusive for the sub.” There is a learning process
to learn how and when using it, says Newmahr (2011). Ultimately, it is not a binary “yes – no”. Some safe-
words are used to stop the scene outright, while others can communicate a willingness to continue, but at a
reduced level of intensity. Safe-words are usually agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants.

45
during the whole process, until the last rope comes off. However, it is also important to

consider that each person involved might give a different meaning to the same term – neck

rope might be experienced differently from different people.

Do you wanna do some rope? After I agreed, he asked me few questions. Are you ok with
neck rope? Armpit ropes? Chest ropes? What about crouch ropes? Hair? Do you have any
injury?

Marco asked me to play with him. We never tied together before, thus after I agreed, we

discussed what kind of ropes I was comfortable with and if there was a ny other

information that he needed to know before starting. This is a standard conversation in the

Garden. Sara, during beginner classes, usually ends the presentation saying: “consent is

sexy”. She is inciting people not to be afraid to ask. The negotiation of consent is a notion

highly valued and promoted by every person in the Garden. Nicola well explains how they

continuously show how to do it, perform, and repeat it.

I think that normal society does not ask consent, it just assumes it. Here they don't. It's not
just that you're not meant to assume but you also see constantly doing it, performing it.
Most of these things happen in private so you don't know how you interact with someone
in bedroom […] Here, because there are far more beginners and far more switching, is
more evident. They constantly repeat it. Even when they forget to show how to ask,
during beginner class, and they do a neck rope, they stop and say “oh by the way, I know
that she likes it, we already discuss it before”. Here I can see them actually talking and
discussing about consent and you can learn.

A sense of community

“Speaking about consent means openly speak about desires and preferences”, says

Nao. It is necessary to speak as clearly as possible, in order to have an enjoyable

experience, for both parties involved. Being able to openly speak about desires and urges,

46
usually considered “abnormal” in the vanilla 38 society, results in a particular, safe and non-

judgmental environment. Being able to share your appetites with someone and built a

relationship from there, means being able to show your true self, without being judged. In

addition, the BDSM community there is a saying “your kink is not my kink, but it is ok”.

These open and non-judgmental attitude results in a big amount of acceptance and

tolerance, that is per se beneficial, as the message below, sent to the Garden’s owners

show.

Figure 4: A messages sent to the Garden's owners . Picture taken from one of the Garden social media profile
and used under authorisation.

Whatever social shyness you've got, and everybody's got some, to be so open with people
opens a lot of doors ad also open yourself up and allows you to express things that are
very dark, that you've kept in possibly, because you did not have people to share them, so
to be able to open up and share people experiences and desires and not have them

38Whereas kinky indicates all the unconventional sexual preferences or behaviors that deviate from the
accepted ones, vanilla indicates the opposite. Vanilla is conceptualized as the opposite of kinky, states
Newmahr (2011). However, there is no universal agreement on what and when a practice can be considered
vanilla and when it becomes kinky. See the glossary for more information.

47
 running millions miles away from you is really energizing and empowering. I found it
allowed me to be a lot more self-critical. I can assess myself more freely and be more
honest with myself, because I have accepted how honest I have to be with other people. I
admit things to myself that I did use to admit to but I was afraid to do to other people.

Enrico here refers to the beneficial consequences of attending the Garden, where

inclusive values and consent are the ruling principal. Hence, as Enrico and the text sent to

Sara show, the participants are relieved from that pressure; they can be themselves and do

not have to “impress” others, contrary to Goffman (1959) theory of social interactions.

Discussion

This chapter aimed to show that the relationships built inside the Garden are based on

trust, honesty and openness, thanks to the values promoted. This means that people, in

approaching rope bondage, are aware of their preferences and desires. They are able to

explore them without fear of being judged or discriminated. And because the relationships

within the space are based on openness, trust and intimacy, they result in a deeper

connection with others but also with their inner self. The Garden is perceived as an

inclusive social space among the people that attend it. Being surrounded by like-minded

people, that share the same inclusive values, that are willing dialogue about consent,

BDSM, safety and so forth; it is beneficial. Consent, perceived as an empowering two-

voices negotiation, increase a sense of respect and acceptance. Not only there are no

assumptions in the Garden, because consent is highly valued by its members, but also

there is no need to “impress” others.

Being able to enter a space where you gender, sexual orientation, skin colour and

sexual desires do define you, is fundamental in my informants’ experiences. The same

48
inclusive atmosphere comes about from the space and its structure, resulting in an

increase of well-being.

49
 6. The Materiality of the Space

In this chapter, I explore the idea that a space influences perceptions and experiences of

the people that attend it, following Buchli (2013) and Miller (2001) ideas. The Garden is a

small studio – 465sqft. – that function as a base for the UK rope community that I analysed.

I demonstrate that its welcoming atmosphere, elicited from its cosy image, focused on

teaching, is an important element of the sense of community that the attendees feel.

The space

I am not familiar at all with this area. Am I even in the right place? What am I doing? Why
did I choose to do this research? How did I even though I could be able to do a master in
English? I hate meeting new people. Shit. Ok. Here I am. That’s the entrance. There are
stairs, that lead to a hallway. There is an open door. A friendly woman welcomed me in.
[…] The space itself is small, divided in two ambient: downstairs and upstairs. The cei l i ngs
are high, with three di fferent beams. The floor is covered with a black rubber mat upon
which there are coloured carpets. The walls are white but photos and kimonos. All over
the place there are cat themed objects (I guess they really like cats), pillows, books,
information about conduct, consent, values shared, shears and ropes (literally in every
corner). Upstairs is a sort of mezzanine. There is a fridge, cups for coffee and tea, that are
available for free. There is also a small library. There is a warm and friendly atmosphere. I t
seems a yoga studio without all the new age stuff.

50
 Figure 5: The Garden from the mezzanine. Picture taken from the Garden website and used under

authorisation.

Figure 6: The Garden downstairs. Picture taken from the Garden website and used under authorisation.

51
This is my first impressions, my very first contact with the Garden. Being it furbished as a

“room” – as it emerged from almost every interview – it releases a sense of cosiness and

relaxed atmosphere It is not intimidating nor scary and it is a conscious choice.

Sara met her partner, Marco, at one of the UK events dedicated to rope bondage and

together opened a studio dedicated to it – the Garden. It was the summer of 2015. There

was a high demand for education on rope bondage. They decided to listen and satisfy this

request, thinking carefully about how to structure the space.

One of the most important thing is the noise level. It’s essential to be able to hear your
partner, to hear the breathing39 , because you're not always able to speak with each other.
Especially in suspension: your heads are literally in opposite directions and if the mus i c i s
very loud or there is a lot of chatting you cannot hear each other. The other thing is the
lightening. It's very difficult to do rope when it's very dark and a third thing is hygiene.
Having a nice clean floor space that you trust is essential. I've heard of events in the venue
where there are broken glasses on the floor, and people get cut.

According to Sara, lightening, noise level and hygiene are important factors to consider

in providing a safe, clean and appropriate environment for rope bondage. After Sara

experience in the BDSM world, from which she approached ropes , she felt the need to

create a friendly environment in which people can gather and explore their interests in

ropes, not worrying about being enticed by others. Not a club, not a dark place with loud

music, not a dungeon40 or a place where people can have orgies. Still, nudity and impact

39 “Hear the breathing” indicates being able to notice the respiration of the other person. How she or he is
breathing, is too slow or too fast? It is a mean to check the bottom’s status. It is important for the rigger to be
aware of that, in order to act consequently, accordingly to the bottom safety.
40 A dungeon in a SM context is a place where people usually meet for playing together. It is characterized by

a dark, mysterious atmosphere. Nudity and sexual intercourse are usually allowed.

52
play41 are allowed – everyone can dress or not as they prefer. Although there is no rule

against it, people tend to avoid to have sex in the Garden. Sara describes their choices:

Even though we are totally ok with play and nudity people tend to do pretty things. Ok
there is a bit of impact play but you don't really see sex, you don't really see like orgies or
people with vibrators. We never made a rule about that. It's just how people wanna
behave in the space and it suits us perfectly. It's more artistic than anything. […] Also, by
providing that space you're able to welcome people who maybe wouldn't discover or learn
ropes if it weren't the case. So, to be honest, I created the space that I would've wanted to
walk into when I was first starting out. If I go to a munch42 , I'm totally new to rope, single
female going to an event on my own, not knowing anybody and wanted to learn and make
friends, where would I want to start? And I created a space that was pretty much exactly
that. Especially for a single female, it's pretty intimidating to walk into some events. It is
pretty intense.

According to the participants’ experiences, the Garden is perceived as a “home”, a cosy

place that does not require to get naked or to have intercourse to be accepted and

welcomed by the community. Buchli (2013), speaking of embodiment and architectural

form, states that bodies are privileged sites of meaning and experience, where the relation

between the body and the built form is continuously negotiated. Marco made clear that is

very intentional the atmosphere that they intended to create. They wanted to avoid

predatory behaviours, hence they managed to have a space in which it is not possible to

corner someone in the dark.

41 Impact play is a practice in which one person –the bottom – is struck, usually repeatedly, by another
person – the top – for the sexual gratification of either parties. It is considered a BDSM practice. There are
number of activities that qualify as impact play. It usua lly involves the use of an object, a rigid implement
such as a whip, a paddle, cane etc. While the person tied is restrained, the riggers can use a whole va r i ety of
objects to increase the pleasure. In this case rope bondage becomes cane be framed as impac t play.
42 A munch is a casual social gathering for people involved in or interested in BDSM. Munches often take

place in public places. The primary purpose is socializing, although some munches might involve plays and
scenes after certain hours. Munches are meant to help those who are curious about BDSM meet others,
become more comfortable, and better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice or pass on
anecdotes about BDSM experiences.

53
 There is nowhere to hide as well. Talking about predatory behaviors : the first thing that
they'll do is taking that person in a corner and isolate them, but you can't really do it here.
One is because of the community and people would not allow it, they will notice and the
second is because there are no dark corners. There are no shadows to hide. That’s
something of which we are very aware of, because we've seen it happen to other events and
we thought on how to prevent this l ike so that it can't happen.

Miller (2001:1) states “it is the material culture within our home that appears as both our

appropriation of the larger world and as the representation of that world within our

private domain”. Indeed, the Garden is considered “home” and “family” by Alice and other

regular attendees. The physical space embodies the values promoted and upheld by the

attendees, reflecting their inclusiveness, as Marco shows.

The teaching

The Garden was born as a response to the high demand of education on rope bondage. It

did not lose its initial aim. It is a place where people can exercise, being this is difficult to

do at home without the appropriate equipment. There is the need of suspension points 43,

ropes, shears or a partner. Some might have everything they need at home, but it is the

atmosphere and the people that make the Garden what it is.

Additionally, during the jams Sara, together with other expert practitioners, is

available to assist people in need. Being surrounded by all these rope-educated people is a

further incentive to attend the space. As the following messages, sent to the owners,

show.

43Suspension point is a point, usually in the ceiling, from which it is possible to suspend a person. It has to be
able to support the full load of a human being. There are many different ways of doing it.

54
 Figure 7: A message that Sara received from an attendee of the Garden. Picture uploaded in one of the
Garden social media profile and used under authorisation.

Figure 8: Another message sent to the Garden's owners . Picture uploaded in one of the Garden social media
profile and used under authorisation.

The Garden is a place where people can exercise but also, and more importantly,

learn. Sara and Marco organize classes and workshops for different levels. They have a

particular approach to teaching: they invite teachers – from all over the world – that

consider themselves students, because in doing rope bondage you never stop learning and

developing new techniques.

Rope bondage can be done for a variety of reasons, with a variety of intentions and in

a variety of styles. Hence, the attempt is to provide education on different aspects – such

55
how to transmit sensations, how to safely inflict pain, in bottoming and topping or how to

implement sex in doing ropes and so forth.

we present an image of rope bondage that is clear and technical. I want to get people the
tools and then they can do what they like. I want to see where they can take it. So,
another reason for making the studio clean: it's more important for people to come in and
learn about it. “I don't like pain and causing pain, I like just to do pretty things ” That's cool ,
here you can learn that as long as other things.

Marco says that whatever understanding he and Sara have of rope bondage, they teach

different styles in order to provide the knowledge to the people, thus they can develop

their own style. Although not everyone might use rope bondage for sexual purposes or in

order to cause pain; they offer classes and workshop to provide education to the people

that are interested in those aspects.

In addition, books, flyers and all sort of information about rope bondage are available.

It is extremely important that the attendees are aware of the physical and psychological

risks involved in doing this activity. It can be dangerous if practiced unsafely. Rope can

block airways and vessels, damage nerves and so forth if both the rigger and the bottom

are inattentive to the signals given by the body. It is a learning process for both sides,

based on communication, as clearly emerged in the interviews.

56
 Figure 9: Front and back of a flayer available in the Garden. It shows the body parts that need particular
attention in doing rope bondage. Picture by me.

Discussion

The scope of this chapter was to present the welcoming atmosphere of the Garden,

focused on teaching and inclusiveness. The majority of my participants mention the

Garden resemblance of a cosy room elicited from its look and organisation.

These elements create a sense of belonging among the practitioners; they are central

in creating the sense of community. It is the materiality of the space and its values that

altogether are reflected in the space appearance. The Garden is perceived, by my

informants, as an inclusive, safe and non-discriminatory community that brings together

like-minded people, providing them a space where they can explore and exercise in doing

rope bondage surrounded by rope-educated individuals. Still, they are not obliged to play

nor to adopt a “dress” code. Following Miller’s (2001) understanding, the Garden structure

57
reflects and embodies its owners and attendees’ perception and interpretation of rope

bondage. Still, rope bondage is the practice upon which the community is created and that

brings people together.

58
 7. The Bodily Experiences

In this chapter, I explore how the Garden community embodies rope bondage, through the

bodily experiences as for how they are perceived by my informants. Although the physical

space and the relationships created in it are surely important; rope bondage is a practice

done by and on the body. Also, I demonstrate how my informants frame intimacy and the

importance of communication in a scene. These elements elicit a journey of self-discovery

and personal growth, ultimately resulting into an increased well-being.

Figure 10: Model Mira. Rope: T. Picture used under authorisation.

59
Submitting to the body

What kind of bodily experiences are embodied in engaging with rope bondage? It is about

having a great experience for the parties involved, Barkas (2016) states. For my informant,

it is about enjoying the sensations, giving pleasure to the partner, reading the emotions,

creating beauty, feeling the sound and the smell of ropes, being cuddled and hugged,

hearing the breath, feeling free, cared for, feeling loved, submitting to pain and ultimately

submitting to your body. These are some of the sensations emerged during the focus

group and the interviews.

Additionally, all the informants mention the “topspace” or the “subspace”. The former

is a head space in which the rigger experiences intense focus and clarity of though in order

to act accordingly to the bottom’s reactions. The participants describe it as being into a

bubble where they are not conscious of the time or the surroundings. Whereas the latter is

a mental space in which the bottom is totally relaxed and focused on the present, still

aware of possible injuries. “I am mentally checking my body” says Nao. Miller and Devon

(2003) describe subspace as a state of diminished ego awareness, less active cognitive

behavior, surrendering of will. Sara, once again, explain these conditions very clearly.

When you're being tied, you're looking for endorphin rushes, so you're looking to space
out and this is called subspace. Something that I do consciously is, if I know tha t I ha ve to
be aware of my hands, then I will maintain like a little part of my brain active. So, you
maintain specific governance to that and then to everything else is this sort of unconscious
constant scanning of your body. Whereas because as a rigger you have to be very sharp
and very focused, react on the spot. Your body pomp out adrenaline. So, in a sense you're
totally in separate world actually, in a very different state of mind because you need
different things to happen.

60
Although the physical reactions of bottoms and tops usually differ from one another; their

psychological reactions converge, state Sagarin et al. (2009), resulting in an increase of

closeness between participants. This closeness, defined as connection, was often

mentioned by my informants when asked about their sensations and feelings during a

scene. What do they mean with the term connection? Does it involve intimacy? Does it

involve sex?

Framing intimacy

In the Garden, personal bodily encounters are often identified as intimate, because there is

physical closeness between the participants’ bodies; even when there is no physical

attraction or sexual closeness. Thus, what does the term “intimacy” indicate?

Intimacy is a socially constructed phenomenon; it is understood differently

according to cultural and historical frames of reference. For Jamieson (2011), although

there may be no universal definition, the subjective experiences of “closeness” can be

framed in a spectrum that goes from feelings of mutual love to being special to each other.

Following this author, the closeness may also be physical, hence there is bodily intimacy;

although an intimate relationship does not need to be sexual and both bodily and sexual

contact can occur without intimacy. This is a broad definition, which I suggest can be

effectively applied to the understanding of intimacy that emerged from my informants.

Enrico on the topic comments:

It is definitely a connection. There is a closeness between you. I won't say a bond, it is a

strong word to avoid using it in a situation like this, because another aspect of tying with
other people is that you have to realize that when the intimacy of that tie is over, it is over.
It is not the beginning of a wonderful relationship, you know? It takes a while to go beyond
that and realize that a tie is just a tie […] Now I can accept that the person enjoys it and it

61
 was really hot and it was really intimate and really close but that's it. That's as far as it
goes.

As Enrico said, it might take a while to rationalize that type of intimacy, because in our

culture physical touch and intimacy are framed within sexual or marital rela tionships (Wytt

2016).

Connection, closeness and touching are some of the things that I get from ropes […]
Intimacy is very much a spectrum and ropes is a flexible tool which allows you to adjust
what are you doing to […] but it's all about the person. Rope is the way you get there.

Thomas here is saying that intimacy comes through the ropes, however the focus of a

scene is always the person. Kleinpatz (2006) study on BDSM reports that one of the

characteristics reported by BDSM partners is a sense of synchronicity, of high levels of

mutual atonement which both stems from, and inevitably creates, an intense mutual bond.

This combination of expectancy, unpredictability and heightened empathy provides the

elements necessary for intensifying their relations hips. To put oneself in another’s hands is

not about escapism but rather about being uncovered, exposed and trustful. Sara says:

“being inside of the ropes, you're physically very vulnerable, but also very safe. It requires

a great deal of trust.” Indeed, to be held, appreciated, embraced and loved despite being –

or because of having the courage to be – vulnerable can lead to self-discovery and

acceptance that is transforming, as Easton and Hardy (2003) write. For some of my

informants emerged that rope bondage has this effect, as exemplified by Rosa: “you are

constantly learning, discovering, connecting with people. It's a very brainy activity as well

as very tactile, sensual and intimate”. Engaging in rope bondage, you learn not only about

your body, but also about your desires and preferences. Additionally, being in a safe

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environment where consent is highly valued, you are in a situation that allows you to

explore physical bodily closeness and vulnerability.

Another aspect involved in a scene that might contribute to create intimacy between

the participants, is the “aftercare”. That is the moment after the last rope comes off, when

the partners take care of each other – cuddling, embracing, waiting to come back from the

respectively mind-spaces or just speaking. Independently from their relationship, the

negotiation of consent and the scene, the aftercare is usually a moment of closeness and

respect for the partner.

Overall, rope bondage undeniably comes from BDSM, and it is to some extent

embedded in a sexual discourse. None of my informants negate it, although everyone has

its own understanding of it. Sex, in terms of penetrative sexual act, seems not to be the

main reason why people engage in rope bondage, also because in the Garden people tend

to avoid sexual intercourse. Still, the exploration of the relation between rope bondage

and sex goes beyond the scope of this dissertation.

The language of rope

“Rope bondage is a language”, say a variety of interviewees and ventures Barkas (2016).

The members of a community share the same understanding of symbols, resulting in

speaking the same language. In rope bondage people’s reactions, body movements, facial

expressions and gestures can be understood as symbols; which together form the

“language” of tying.

Although the negotiation is usually verbal, the communication during the tie can be

both verbal and non-verbal. There are different ways in which rigger and bottom can

63
communicate – for example through agreed gestures 44. The bottoms might perform

actions they are not aware of – such as a facial expression, an unconscious movement with

a hand, or change of the breathing pattern. It is up to the rigger to notice them and act

accordingly. Carlo says “As they smile you know they want more, while if they're crossing

their faces probably it's not a good idea.”

It is a great challenge for the tying person to recognize these unspoken symbols. The

answer must be interpreted and the rigger must decide the direction of their next step

accordingly. Some gestures might demand a continuation, others a change of the position

and some might lead to the end of the scene. Each person in rope reacts individually and

differently, and their reactions depend further on the situation and the daily conditions.

The same can be said for riggers: everyone interprets and acts differently. If two people do

not focus on each other, there is no communication possible. Likewise, if both follow their

own goals they will probably misunderstand each other and have a bad experience.

During this communication, the riggers and the bottoms are equally important and

responsible. It is true that the riggers are in control of the movements, but the priority is

the bottoms’ safety. Additionally, as mentioned before, being able to trust someone

enough to be tied, or suspended by them is challenging, rewarding and empowering not

only for the bottom, but also for the rigger. A good scene is also a personal

accomplishment for the rigger.

44One of the most common way to check the bottom comfort and distress is to squeeze their hand. They will
squeeze you back: two times if everything is ok, three if there are some problems. It is also a mean to check
the strength of their squeeze: if from the first time the squeeze is getting weaker it is a signal to take into
consideration.

64
 Figure 11: Model: Mira Rope: Sara. Picture used under authorisation.

Discussion

In this chapter I demonstrate how bodies interact with each other in the Garden and how

the participants frame intimacy engaging in rope bondage. It is a broad definition that

always includes physical closeness but not necessarily a sentimental relationship.

Additionally, from the majority of my participants, it emerged that communication in a

rope scene increases an understanding of the body and of the person, which results in a

better awareness.

Engaging in rope bondage emerged to be a process of personal growth and self-

discovery discovery because it allows to explore desires and preferences in a safe

65
environment where consent and respect for the partners are highly valued. All these

elements, if combined with the inclusive values and the non-judgmental atmosphere of the

Garden, result in an increase of well-being.

66
Conclusions

“What is being carved in human flesh is an image of society.”

Mary Douglas, (2002 [1966]: 143).

Figure 12: Model: Mira Rope: D. Picture by Daniele. Used under authorisation.

The core of this thesis examines how the bodily practice of rope bondage is framed as

therapeutic, by my informants, in the space I analysed – the Garden. I approached rope

bondage as an inter-corporeal practice, through the lenses provided by phenomenology.

This methodology allowed me to gain an insight of the practitioners lived experiences as

they are perceived by the subjects. It emerged that rope bondage offers a rich context in

which explore key issues of embodiment, self-other relations and consent negotiation.

67
However, length and time to my disposal prevented me from focusing on complex issues

such as pain or gender and power dynamics performed in rope bondage.

The findings show that psychological and social benefits result from joining and being

part of a community perceived as an inclusive, welcoming, and non-judgmental.

Challenging the symbolist definition, I demonstrate that the Garden is a community based

not only on shared values, but also on the materiality of the space and the bodily

experiences incorporated in it. Still, it is rope bondage, a practice done by and on the body,

which primarily brings the practitioners into the community. The welcoming atmosphere,

elicited from the Garden look and organisation, is central in creating a sense of belonging.

The lack of judgement as for one’s gender, sexual orientation, skin colour and sexual

appetites is also fundamental in positively framing my informants’ experiences. Being

surrounded by like-minded people, that share inclusive values, that are willing to dialogue

about consent, BDSM, safety and so forth is beneficial. The necessary negotiation of

consent before starting a scene creates relationships based on honesty and trust, because

the attendees have to recognise their desires, they have to accept their inner-selves, in

order to have a pleasant experience tying or getting tied. This negotiation is perceived as

empowering, since both roles share responsibilities in this decision, where safety is the

priority. Additionally, engaging in rope bondage implies a learning process about the self

and the body for both roles. A scene implicates cooperation and respect between partners,

and, as my informants report, intimacy. Still, the type of communication and close contact

involved in practicing rope bondage product an understanding of intimacy that does not

necessarily involve a sexual or sentimental encounter. Ultimately, rope bondage as it is

68
embodied by the practitioners of the Garden incorporates the values shared and promoted

in the community, resulting in a journey of self-discovery and acceptance.

Additionally, I suggest that engaging in rope bondage is motivated by a desire to

temporarily escape from the worries of the everyday life. Why would anyone in today’s

self-seeking society want to escape from the self? Why through rope bondage? Baumeister

(1988) states that too many responsibilities, pressure, high expectancy, the requirements

of making decisions lead to stress; and as a result, individuals may use pain as mean to

escape the self. In the case of rope bondage, I suggest that subspace and topspace have

the same effect, of focusing on the present leaving the everyday worries out. Moreover, it

emerged, during the fieldwork, that the attendees of the Garden have a significant level of

socioeconomic, education, and mental maturity. Hence, this burden of self-hood in a highly

individualistic society may explain the appeal of rope bondage. Still, I am keen to consider

this just one of the multiple causes. All these elements, interconnected and intertwined,

cooperate in increasing the sense of well-being as for how it emerged from my

participants’ experiences. In this sense, I use the term “therapeutic”.

Further, I argue that rope bondage as it is experienced and understood in the Garden

can be framed as an all-encompassing lifestyle that, thanks to its community and values,

represents a liberation from the oppressive heteronormative, sex-talk-free society.

Reportedly, a large part of the benefits emerged in doing rope bondage comes from the

fact that participants are able to openly express and explore their desires, that historically

have been conceptualized as problematic and pathological, in a context that is safe and

free from social judgment. The focus on the potential therapeutic impact of rope bondage,

analysed through medical anthropology lenses of embodiment and phenomenology,

69
challenges the normative pathologizing understanding of bodily sexual practices as BDSM.

Still, it is important to be wary of the potential consequences – theoretical and social – of

this reconceptualization. Given the little academic literature on rope bondage, it is not

possible to fully understand all the implications of this practice. I demonstrate that

engaging in rope bondage can create a healing path, when played consensually, safely and

with the right amount of knowledge. Still, I am not arguing that everyone, regardless of

their individual belief and desires, should engage in rope bondage. While it is beneficial for

the participants of this study, it might not be the same for others. Further studies are

needed.

Indeed, if the primary leading question of this project is related to the healing aspect

of rope bondage, other sub-questions emerged: Why people feel the need to gather in a

community dedicated to rope bondage? What is possible to learn from this community?

How better understand rope bondage and the community around it might enlighten other

aspects of the outer society? How individuals who engage in rope bondage frame and

understand sex? Is there a connection between rope bondage and a more open

understanding of sentimental relationships, given the inclusive values and their

conceptualization of intimacy?

In this thesis, I suggest an understanding of intimacy that does not require a

sentimental relationship; and yet it made people feel close and cared for. This definition

may result from a combination of multiple causes which derive either from a

contemporary understanding of relationships or from rope bondage itself. Indeed, as

Csordas (1990) affirms, bodies are object and subject of culture; they influence each other.

Further, intimacy, relationships and sex are deeply interrelated within our culture. They are

factors that contribute and influence one’s well-being and perception of the society. Sex

70
was not the primary scope of the Garden’s attendees nor the focus of this dissertation;

nonetheless, rope bondage can be framed as a BDSM activity, thus it is enmeshed in a

sexual discourse. Hence, a collaborative multidisciplinary and non-pathologizing approach

is the key to academically engage with sexual and bodily practices, in order to gain a better

understanding of their implication in the society. Although extreme sexual practices are

still stigmatized and under researched, I believe it is essential to analyse and to position

them in the actual political debate.

Ultimately, through this study, I appreciate that rope bondage as it is practiced in the

Garden, embodies its members’ beliefs and values, creating a welcoming space where

there is no need to impress anyone, but to be “real”. Also, rope bondage elicits talks about

significant issues often ignored or censored in the outer society, primarily consent. And this

is beneficial, regardless the activity or the community. However, as Scott (2015) adverts,

entering the BDSM world does not mean that sexism, homophobia, racism and so forth

disappear. Still, they are left at the door of this studio. And this, once again, is beneficial

considering the society we live in today.

I believe rope bondage is a leisure activity, as Newmahr (2011) states for BDSM, and

as long as it is done consensually, safely and with respect for the partner’s desires, it is not

a harmful activity. If anything, the opposite.

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Glossary

BDSM: BDSM is a complicated term. The acronym BDSM derives from the terms bondage

and discipline (B and D), dominance and submission (D and S), and sadism and masochism

(S and M). Lawrence and Love-Crowell (2007) state that BDSM encompasses a wide variety

of activities. Elements that are frequently part of BDSM activities include a relationship

involving dominance and submission, infliction of pain (e.g., by spanking, flogging, paddling

or burning and so on), deliberate humiliation (e.g., verbally or physically), physical

restriction (e.g., using handcuffs, chains or ropes ), and the use of fantasy or role-playing

(Roma et al. 2013). Newmahr (2011) defines it as the collection of activities that involve

the mutually consensual and conscious use, among two or more people, of pain, power,

perceptions about power, or any combination of the aforementioned for psychological ,

emotional or sensory pleasure. This definition has some limits: it refers to the interactions

rather than to autoerotic practices and also it differentiates between SM and body

modification practices through piercing or cutting.).

The community existing around these practices is highly structured. Trust and consent in

BDSM are fundamental. The participants negotiate and discuss before the “scene” – before

when they actually put into practice – what they prefer and how they will do it.

The term BDSM and SM are used interchangeably. I am aware of the limits of this term,

however, in absence of a better one I will adopt it bearing in mind its limitation.

Bottom: It indicated the person being tied. The bottom is the opposite of the top, the

dominant. He is in a submissive position compared to the top. In this sense the term

“bottom” reminds to the power dynamics inherent to BDSM world.

72
Bunny: It refers to the person being tied. Bunny refers to the typical Playboy image of a

woman dressed up as a bunny. Thereby, it reminds of a woman. It indirectly implied the

submission of the woman to the male gaze. If it is a man being tied, can we still use the

term bunny? It has some inherent limitations, still my informant used it.

Dominant: Dominant or “dom” indicates the dominant role, in a BDSM relationship. Top is

another term that identifies the dominant.

Hojōjutsu: Hojōjutsu is one of the fighting skills taught to Japanese warriors. MasterK

(2015) reports that in combat it was not uncommon for a samurai to carry rope for attack,

defence, for use it as a tool or as a restraint for prisoners of war. All the historical Hojōjutsu

ties we know today, affirm MasterK (2015), display a shrewd understanding of human

anatomy.

Impact play: Impact play is a practice in which one person –the bottom – is struck, usually

repeatedly, by another person – the top – for the sexual gratification of either parties. It is

considered a BDSM practice. There are number of activities that qualify as impact play. It

usually involves the use of an object, a rigid implement such as a whip, a paddle, cane etc.

While the person tied is restrained, the riggers can use a whole variety of objects to

increase the pleasure. In this case rope bondage becomes cane be framed as impact play.

Kinbaku: It is a Japanese word that means “bid tightly”. Following MasterK (2015)

definition, Kinbaku was coined in the early 1950s. The word carries the added meaning of

being the art of traditional Japanese erotic bondage. In his understanding Kinbaku refers to

erotic rope bondage, while shibari refers simply to the tying without any sexual aspect.

MasterK (2015), in confronting with the terminology debate around kinbaku and shibari,

reports the historical cultural importance of rope in Japan. Among other things, he refers

73
to the intricate wrapping of Japanese gifs. He mentions the practice, that dates back to the

Heian Era (794 – 1185), of ladies of the court that in decorating gifts and letters learned

intricate knots and ties. Specific knots communicated the identity of the sender and even

expressed the sender’s feeling. Ultimately, in the rope community I studied, shibari and

kinbaku are used interchangeably.

Kinky: Kinky, following the Oxford Dictionary, indicates unconventional sexual taste,

behavior, concept or fantasy. Following the Cambridge Dictionary, it means a strange

habit. Generally, it is used to indicate BDSM practices, in contrast to the “vanilla” ones.

Nichols (2006) describe kinky activities as unusual but always safe, sane and consensual

(SSC). They specifically do not include rape or sexual contact with children. Newmahr

(2011) defines kinky as having an interest in, relation to, sexual activity outside of

mainstream, conventional conceptualizations of sexuality. However, there is no universal

agreement on what and when a practice can be considered vanilla and when it becomes

kinky. See “vanilla” definition.

Masochism/Masochist: A masochist is a person who enjoys pain. He or she is gratified by

pain or degradation that is self-imposed or imposed by others. Masochism and sadism –

the latter indicates a person who is gratified by inflicting pain on someone – are still

perceived as a paraphilia. Following Taylor and Ussher (2001), the terms sadism and

masochism – which are taken from the names of the authors de Sade (1740–1814) and

Sacher-Masoch (1836–1895) – emerged within psychiatric and medical discourse towards

the end of the 19th century. Since that time, the term sado-masochism (SM), has become

firmly rooted in the emergent clinical taxonomy of psychopathology and diffused

throughout psychological and psychoanalytic theory and, indeed, the language of everyday

74
life. Currently, ‘sado-masochism’ remains a psychiatric disorder reified within the

Diagnostical and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV) (American Psychiatric Association, 2000) and

in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD 10), where it is defined as ‘a preference

for sexual activity that involves bondage or the infliction of pain or humiliation’. SM

continues to be described as a pathology in current psychological and psychiatric textbooks

and continues to be discussed alongside behaviours such as child sexual abuse and rape.

Model: It refers to the person being tied. Model indicates someone who does it

professional reasons, such as photoshoots. Hence it should not be applied to people who

enjoy being tied it at home for fun.

Munch: A munch is a casual social gathering for people involved in or interested in BDSM.

Munches often take place in public places. The primary purpose is socializing, although

some munches might involve plays and scenes after certain hours. Munches are meant to

help those who are curious about BDSM meet others, become more comfortable, and

better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice, or pass on anecdotes about

BDSM experiences.

Play: indicates the moment in which two individuals are performing, putting into practice

the activity negotiated. Example: the rigger tying the bottom is a “play” or a scene.

Newmahr (2011) defines it as a usually pre-negotiated erotic exchange. Participants usually

agree on the type of play and on limits before engaging in SM activity. Play and scene are

used with the same meaning.

Scene: See “play”. The word scene is also used to refer to the BDSM community in general.

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Shibari: It is a Japanese word that means “to tie”. It also indicates rope bondage. See

“kinbaku”.

SM: Is an acronym for sadism and masochism (S and M). It is used interchangeably with

BDSM, indicating the same practices and community. See “masochism” for more.

Submissive: Submissive in BDSM indicate a submissive role contrasting a dominating one.

It can also be shortened as “sub” with the same meaning. Bottom might be used as a

synonym.

Switch: It indicates a person who enjoys both being tied and tying.

Vanilla: Vanilla indicates the “normal”, the opposite of kinky. Whereas kinky indicates all

the unconventional sexual preferences or behaviors that deviate from the accepted ones.

However, there is no universal agreement on what and when a practice can be considered

vanilla and when it becomes kinky. Vanilla, following Scott (2015) is used as a negative

appellative from BDSM members to describe non BDSM activities and individuals.

Newmahr (2011) defines vanilla as used most commonly to refer to activities, events and

people that are not SM related.

76
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