Dear Theresa,

A butch is a butch and a femme is a femme, as a butch and a femme belong together –

Oh, how wrong I was Jess. I have learned many things since we parted. I realized that people are

people and you can love whoever you want. Frankie started dating another butch and I was real

mean to her. I feel bad. I also have a nice friend named Ruth, my next-door neighbor. The streets

are rough in New York, and it seems like just a bigger playground to find trouble. I lost all my

belongings in a fire couple months back. I fixed the place up good but I guess everything is

temporary. I believe I more stone than I have ever been. You were the only one who could melt

my heart, and of course I pushed you away. I visited Butch Al recently. I wish to not end up like

her, Theresa. She is complete stone, she barely even blinked. Even the strongest of the butches

eventually break. I am scared, Theresa, and yet I am only writing this letter to catch up. I don’t

want nothing from you. I was no good for you anyways.

Anyways, please tell me how you are doing. Where has life taken you and what have you been

working on?

Thinking of you,

Jess
Dear Jess,

I have tried telling you these things over and over again. Why create more problems in a

world full of them? I cannot find time for things like that as life has just become so busy. I have

been organizing more protests and groups for LGBT rights down in D.C. – you know the place

with the White House. I got everyone down here working together. Oh, Jess, how I wish you

could see the marches that go on down here. Thousands of people come out to participate in

these things. Also, I know it sounds crazy but after all these years this place is filled with tons of

gay bars. I am a little too old now to be going out but that is what I have been hearing from the

younger ones. Just remember, you were one of the toughest butches I had ever known. You

aren’t stone, Jess. You are what you choose to make yourself. Hang in there, I hope New York is

treating you well, you deserve peace.

Wishing the best,

Theresa
Dear Theresa,

I did not give up on us. In a world so cruel and unaccepting of people like us, I simply

had to adapt. I needed to survive, and I do not regret doing what I did. I have changed a lot,

Theresa. I was not enough for you, and yet I gave you all the love I could give. I know at times I

shut down when you needed me most, and maybe that is why it did not work. That isn’t the good

kind of love. Cause yet even when I did not give, you continued to give to me. I can still feel

your warmth from the last time we embraced – I dream of your garden often. I keep a vase filled

with flowers in my room, the scent reminds me of you, as if you were still here. You taught me

to stand up for myself. The first time I found my voice was with you. I no longer want to be

silent, Theresa.

I saw you at a grocery store a couple weeks ago. You looked happy. I hope you have found a

lover that can give you what you need. I could not.

Thank you,

Jess
Dear Jess,

I am sorry. I’m sorry I could not be the one to hold you in the time you needed it most. –

I’m doing well, if you were wondering. I don’t garden anymore. I stopped after you. Things are

changing. You were always afraid of change, but then again you were not. I loved you the way

you were, Jess, and yet now you are not the person I had loved. You are someone else. I wanted

to stand by your side through this fight called life. I did not want to live with you, I wanted to

survive with you. In a way, taking the hormones showed me that you gave up, not only on

yourself, but us. You needed a love bigger than I could give. I am sorry I could not give that to

you. I loved you, Jess.

With deepest regards,

Theresa