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Flirting Diasporically Visits Home Facilitating Diasporic Encounters and Complex Communities PDF
Flirting Diasporically Visits Home Facilitating Diasporic Encounters and Complex Communities PDF
Lauren B. Wagner
To cite this article: Lauren B. Wagner (2018) Flirting diasporically: visits ‘home’ facilitating
diasporic encounters and complex communities, Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies, 44:2,
321-340, DOI: 10.1080/1369183X.2017.1341716
ABSTRACT KEYWORDS
While generations of Moroccan-origin Europeans have been a focus Interaction; leisure
of policymakers seeking to ‘integrate’ them in their countries of consumption; categorisation;
dwelling, less attention has been paid to how visiting ‘home’ in path dependency; complexity
Morocco – a perpetuating practice among Moroccan families
living in Europe – contributes to their life course trajectories. The
summertime influx of Moroccan-origin families from across the
globe creates the possibility to encounter a superdiverse
community of Moroccans-from-elsewhere when visiting Morocco,
many of whom share experiences of individual and collective
‘integration’ in their countries of dwelling, but diverge in their
geographical and linguistic lived categorisations. This paper
examines one formative type of integrative event that happens on
summer holidays: flirtation. Differences in languages, European
regional or national affiliations, or Moroccan ethnic and regional
attachments all play roles in facilitating or hindering flirtatious
encounters between diasporic Moroccans during the summer
holidays. The resulting relationships (or lack thereof) demonstrate
how diasporic superdiversity contributes to life course trajectories
a process of social ordering and categorisation, simultaneously
influencing configurations of diversity across Morocco and Europe.
‘offered’ her to his friends. Inversely, one DV in my research in Morocco related a story of
her shock and surprise at a man approaching her on the street and asking to speak to her.
While she considered that behaviour wildly inappropriate, for many locally resident Mor-
occans, whispered flirtations as a man passes a woman on the street, or approaching a
woman in a public place to ask to speak to her, are considered appropriate and sometimes
effective ways to find a partner.
This shocked participant, Panagakos’ participant, and Carey’s participant’s success
at meeting a woman through random text messaging all reflect socially organised strat-
egies for where one can meet ‘appropriate’ others and engage in ‘appropriate’ flirtation.
Like Goffman’s passers-by on the street, each of these modes requires familiarity with
contexts and categories involved to be an effective practitioner and to balance between
‘respectability’ and harassment. While a significant part of this balancing is found in
the complex conversational activity of flirtation, an equally if not more significant con-
dition is geolocated co-presence, demonstrating awareness of and willing participation
in spaces and times where flirtation is allowed. Clearly, these spaces and times can be
differently organised: for Tavory, they are limited to bars, cafes, and places of con-
sumption, while for Carey and for myself in Morocco, they become any public
space, including any street or any valid mobile phone number. For individuals who
are want to open themselves to flirtation, like Panagakos’ visiting women, there is a
learning process to choosing where and when to be present, in order to find the
‘right’ kind of flirtation.
passport holders in these countries, and continue to participate in the familial – and com-
munal – ritual of visiting for their holidays.
Yet ‘Moroccan’ is not the only relevant designation for these individuals in their Euro-
pean homes. Migratory dynamics targeting certain minority groups (Lazaar 1987; Ouali
2004), along with family networks that enabled successive migrants, creates some basis
for recognising differences of place or group of origin within a ‘Moroccan community’.
Furthermore, Moroccan guest worker migration occurred in parallel with guest workers
from Turkey, and in parallel with other migration flows from Algeria and Tunisia (Crul
and Vermeulen 2003; Tribalat 1995). So, while it is feasible for ‘Moroccan-origin’ to be
a unifying category for individuals resident in France, Belgium, and the Netherlands,
they may also find resonance in being ‘Tarifit’, ‘Tamazight’, ‘Tashelhit’, or ‘Arab’; of
being ‘Maghrebi’ as general to North Africa; or of being ‘Muslim’ as a commonality
between many guest workers. Any one of these can signify a shared trajectory in migration
and diaspora, as a placeholder for shared experiences as a group – a group that in many
cases has been unified through stigmatisation (Césari, Moreau, and Schleyer-Lindenmann
2001; Lesthaeghe 2000).
Such configurations of difference and similarity have been discussed elsewhere as a
barrier to partnership (often imposed by a parental generation), and contribute to how
those partnerships integrate diversity, even within minority communities (Bryceson and
Vuorela 2002; Charsley 2013; Wise and Velayutham 2008). In this case, crossing any of
the above-mentioned dimensions can be viewed as transgressive of a group boundary.
Yet, these transgressions tend to have a mitigating similarity, whether configured
through a common ‘Moroccanness’, common ‘Maghrebiness’, or common ‘Muslimness’
that makes partnership feasible. That is, they often share a trajectory of migration, in
which their parents (or parents’ parents) left a homeland in search of economic sustenance
and mobility, and in which they themselves grew up experiencing similar dynamics of stig-
matisation as part of an ‘Other’ Europe. All of these dimensions play a material role in how
individuals might imagine the communities – superdiverse, multicultural, or multilingual
(Blommaert 2014; Meissner 2015; Wessendorf 2014) – into which they can imagine them-
selves integrating.
Members of this diasporic, nominally European/Moroccan/Muslim community,
then, are able to recognise each other along nuanced categorial lines when they cross
paths – in itself an interactional achievement drawing on resources of geolocalisable,
visible, embodied semiotics and intimate knowledge about diasporic trajectories.
Given the predominance of the summer holiday as a period when many members of
this trajectory gather in Morocco, participants in this research have had repeated oppor-
tunities, over many years of visits, to learn how to recognise Moroccan-origin peers
coming from different European homelands, and to engage in different dynamics of
inclusion and exclusion based on categorial memberships within this multifaceted
encounter. Above all, this period is a summer ‘holiday’: while many arriving families
may distinguish themselves from or relate themselves to one another based on categorial
identity variations, they are also relating to each other in a unifying category, as
‘families-going-on-vacation’. This practical purpose is as much a part of what creates
a space for encounter as their ‘Moroccanness’ or other ‘ethnic’ categorisations –
especially in that this purpose is implicit in many of their daily activities out of the
house while in Morocco.
328 L. B. WAGNER
geolocatable trends that travel along this trajectory between Europe and Morocco. Beyond
that, they can also recognise each other by more blatant and purposeful ‘signs’ like the
number plate of the car in Figure 1. Seeing that, along with the self-presentation of the
man who angled his head and shoulders out the driver’s window to speak with them
on the street, the two women I was accompanying could categorise him as a ‘French’
person when they stopped to respond to him, whereas in other circumstances they
would, and did, walk purposefully past men talking to them on the street.
Some of these signs are more persistent (like the signifying markers of car license
plates from Europe), while others are more ephemeral and perpetually in transition
(like the fashion that summer for carrying a certain size and shape of ‘man-purse’,
which, I was told, was a sign of ‘French guys’). All of them integrate into the complex-
ities of recognising and being recognised within a particular DV habitus, or as colla-
borating in these machinic geographies of collectivity. These geographies are not
simply about being a consumer of a certain type of leisure space but incorporate
accumulating and cyclical trajectories between one place and another, where elements
of that path-dependent trajectory become materially and semiotically embedded into
the presentation of self. That presentation of self is also not limited to one’s body and
its visible semiotics alone: it is as much about the choice to be present in certain
spaces (and not others) and with whom one might interact while there. The distinc-
tions participants make between themselves as ‘Moroccan’ and other ‘Moroccans’ with
a ‘different mentality’ thus become not only categorisations but spatialised practices,
where the potential for superdiverse contact across the broad citizenry of diasporic
and territorial Morocco is circumscribed through the places where different groups
hang out.
Saw lots of other draguer occasions, including Sanae up close, with Yacine the pompier [firefighter] who
started keeping us company while waiting for the navette that never comes.
v. interesting that a lot of his drague was sort of recognition thru kharijness – where in europe are you
from, where in Morocco; taza, hoceima and linguistic similarities; local knowledges like roads from one
place to another, and things that have been changed recently or not. she admits the problem of not
being able to Not be bothered by men, which he takes as possibly a veiled refutation, but she doesn’t
mean him. he’s impressed she came to learn arabic …
to the point of trying to stay with us and not leave with his friends …
In these fieldnotes, I remarked on how the ‘drague’ (flirting) between Yacine the French
firefighter and Sanae built upon their shared ‘kharijness’, or ‘outsiderness’, through
local knowledges about their nearby Moroccan hometowns and the geolocalised simi-
larities and commonalities of knowledge it enabled between them. Not only were these
related to more perpetual semiotics of these places, like a shared minority language, but
also about changes they each would have observed over repeated visits to them. They
also managed elements of morality and respect in this conversation, through an open dis-
cussion about Sanae being ‘bothered’ by men, which enabled her to categorise Yacine, in
contrast, among respectful men. The conversation continued up to the limits of Yacine
being pulled away by alternate transportation (with his friends), and concluded with
him getting her Moroccan phone number. (To my knowledge, he did not call.)
Beginning from a point at which Sanae and Yacine find themselves being consumers of
the same leisure environment, they can already assume each other to be participating a
similar habitus of taste, or more pertinently to this context, ‘mentality’. They can then
establish themselves as primarily French speakers, through overhearing or initiating con-
versations. These points of commonality become a foundation for elaborating on other
ways that they share this trajectory – despite that, in fact, they come from different home-
towns, live in geographically distant places in Europe (southern France, southern
Belgium), and do not seem to have networks of friends or family that intersect to
enable them to ‘know’ one another. Their common semiotic reference points geolocate
them together in this point of intersection at the water park and along their parallel –
yet diverse – trajectories of diasporic life. Though this encounter did not culminate, to
my knowledge, in anything beyond an exchange of phone numbers, it is an example
where the intersection at ‘home’ in Morocco could expand into lives in Europe.
The second example from the water park involves Naima, a Flemish-speaking Belgian-
Tamazight woman in her early twenties, who I had likewise accompanied to the park for
an afternoon. While she had been trying unsuccessfully to get her circle of friends to join
her for swimming in this park earlier in the week, when we finally went there after her
friends had departed for another town she did not do any swimming. Rather, she sat
mostly on our beach towels, watching and occasionally chatting with others near us
and passing by, and changing her outfit twice during the few hours we spent there. What-
ever facilities might be offered by this park as a leisure site, her primary purpose seemed to
see and be seen by other DVs beyond her immediate circle.
Part of this self-presentation in a ‘safe’ environment is likely related to the uniqueness of
her diasporic trajectory. Her friends who had recently visited and departed came from
more dominant parallel trajectories of Moroccans who migrated from the northern part
JOURNAL OF ETHNIC AND MIGRATION STUDIES 333
While Fred made a good faith effort to begin a conversation in what he assumed was a shared
language (French), that assumption did not hold. Naima replied within her limited compre-
hension and production of French, but then did not understand when Fred asked her first if
she speaks French, then replied no (in French) when he asked if she speaks Arabic. My quick
rendering of the sequence of talk after Fred had left (transcribed above from my notecard)
marks ways that Naima was indicating her non-verbal non-comprehension, and several
different changes of code between them (French, Arabic, and English), which all amounted
to inability to communicate. When Fred returned at Naima’s next departure from our spot,
he wrote his own version of this conversation, in which he asked her the same two questions
about her languages, and then politely excused himself.
Even if they share this ‘respectful’ consumption space, and possibly a diasporic trajectory of
common reference points, interacting with each other would take more effort than Naima (at
least) seemed to be willing to devote. Yet, while it is not clear if she considers these kind of
approaches as ‘harassment’, she does choose to present herself somewhat purposefully for
these interactions. Her management of attention and inattention is part of both in her response
to Fred (rather than ignoring him completely, she actually replied) and her dodging the flirta-
tions of other men, as noted in the fieldnotes, who act in some way as a source of fodder for
complaints. In that sense, neither Fred nor the other approaches she recounted were ‘disre-
spectful’: though they might have been annoying or persistent, they were not insulting.
Part of how her attention to ‘respectful’ approaches is managed involves very subtle
signals, as described by Goffman and by Tavory cited previously, that enable flirtation part-
ners to negotiate a shift from civil inattention to partial possible attention, to determining
whether she wants to pursue an engaged conversation. Beyond the language barrier, if
Naima had been interested in Fred for other reasons, she might have made more effort
towards bridging that communicative gap – her allowing the conversation to take place
beyond his opening try may have been giving him an opportunity to find the right language
for her. In this sense, the fact that Naima responds to Fred’s conversation invitation at all can
be an invitation to continue and part of her way of finding friends or potential romantic
interests to ease her summer boredom while finally hanging out – as she had been requesting
from me and her friends for several days – in this oasis of diasporic leisure.
That management of attention and inattention becomes crucial to deconstructing the
final example, which occurred outside of any controlled or ‘safe’ consumption spaces,
but still becomes an encounter between individuals who are part of the collective
shared trajectory of DVs from Europe (Figure 2). In this instance, I was accompanying
the mid-twenties French-Arab woman Najat, along with her peer cousin Chaima and
JOURNAL OF ETHNIC AND MIGRATION STUDIES 335
her older married sister Slama during a shopping excursion in the city centre. The inter-
action was recorded through a microphone worn by Najat as the main research participant
and principal bargainer among the three, for conversational data on marketplace bargain-
ing. Along with several bargaining encounters that day, the recording includes the follow-
ing appearance of three young men alongside them, of whom only one audibly speaks:
Interaction extract: flirtation on the street
336 L. B. WAGNER
A full audio–visual analysis of this interaction might be more informative about the
different ways Najat, Chaima, and Slama were attentive and inattentive to these men,
but the audio recorded still provides some potential for analysis, along with some of the
embodied orientations reconstructed from fieldnotes. Though there were three women
in this group (as well as myself), the draguer seems to be conversationally addressing
Najat in particular – posing first the question ‘where are you from’ (line 3) then, when
she pauses her speech, following up with a precisely accurate guess of her hometown in
France (line 5). In other words, this stranger on the street walks up behind Najat and
guesses exactly her hometown.
Her next turn (line 6) is not a response to him directly; at that point, she was still facing
the vendor and talking with her sister and Chaima next to her. Rather, she starts talking
about him with her companions, then after he changes his guess incorrectly (line 7), she
confirms over her shoulder (still not orienting her body to him) that his first guess was
correct (line 8). The women then disattend to him – at least in the recorded audio – for
nearly a minute and a half while they continue their shopping task with that vendor,
before Slama signals readiness to depart (‘let’s go?’, line 9). After this almost two full
minutes of inattention, the draguer wishes them a nice holiday (line 12), which then
finally receives a direct response from Najat and Chaima (line 13 and 14). He then
offers his number – probably to Najat – as she replies by pushing her cousin to talk
(turn 16). Her cousin is laughing at this point, and may have said something, though
nothing is audible in the recording. Najat makes an excuse that she is with her big
sister (Slama) and therefore not talking (turn 18). In this same turn, she pushes her
cousin twice to speak for herself. No further turns are audible from the draguer, as they
walk away. Once he is out of earshot, Najat addresses her cousin again, asking if in fact
she was interested in these guys (turn 21). Her cousin replies negatively (turn 22), and
then again with more detail, but inaudibly (turn 24). Extrapolating from Najat’s final
comment, telling her cousin she should have spoken to one of the friends, Chaima may
have expressed an interest in another member of the group of men.
Like the previously described encounters, this one relies on the shared spatial presence
in Morocco as a leisure site, though not necessarily in a delineated ‘safe’ space of consump-
tion. Instead, the delineations of what is recognisably ‘safe’ come, to some extent, from the
draguer’s ability to recognise with extreme accuracy whatever semiotics might have
marked Najat’s French hometown. The semiotics he was reading are entirely unknown:
he may have recognised her accent or some other perceivable marker of that region, or
may have specifically recognised her as a person who he had previously seen in France.
In any case, even though he approached her on the uncontrolled street, his ability to pin-
point that information earned him a sidelong reply to his initial guess and enabled him to
remain there for an extremely long conversational pause (nearly two minutes) with the
hope that the flirtation might continue. That this wait was a conversational pause, and
not simply the inattention Najat and Chaima might display to completely ignore and
refuse flirtatious attention, is indicated by his well-wishing and their reply as they move
to take their leave. Their eventual reply indicates their permission to him that he (and
his friends) would be worthy of Najat and Chaima’s attention.
Yet, the encounter is still in some ways unsuccessful – no contact information was
shared – because of apparently contrasting notions of ‘respect’. While Najat claims to
not be able to respond because she was with her sister (though she may have had other
JOURNAL OF ETHNIC AND MIGRATION STUDIES 337
potential unstated reasons not to reply), she is simultaneously teaching her cousin how to
make these connections if they interest her. Chaima may also be negotiating issues of pro-
priety, both of her choices and tastes in ‘style’ and in her presentation in front of her two
cousins. This lack of success, however, is not in any way about the ‘mentality’ of these three
men: as indicated by Najat’s final injunction to Chaima, they were all suitable potential
flirtation partners, which indicates that the problem here was not a difference in ‘mental-
ity’ or a sense of feeling harassed on the street. Even though this group approached them in
a public site, they did so in a ‘respectful’ way that marked how DVs manage to find each
other in the crowd of public space and ‘keep ourselves among ourselves’.
These three examples delineate some of the contours of spatial presence, recognition,
and categorisation that can enable the response to an initial flirtation to switch from pur-
poseful inattention to permissible interaction. These are all accomplished following some
broad social organisation for communicative interaction but are equally about manage-
ment of spatial, contextual, and moral categorisations. These women make moral categ-
orisations relevant about what sort of man may or may not permissibly approach them
(Sanae) or under what circumstances he may do so appropriately (Najat). They engage
with the geolocational references that mark them, both in terms of where they are
present when this encounter happens (for Sanae and Naima, in the ‘safe’ consumption
space of the water park; for Najat, shopping in the medina in the company of her
family members), and in how, especially for Sanae and Najat, they share a trajectory
with the man who approaches, who can name or recognise similar homespaces in
Morocco and in Europe. Naima’s counterposing disconnection from Fred, his failed
attempt to identify a geolocalisable, mutually intelligible language between them marks
how an effective border might emerge that delineates superdiverse Moroccans-from-
Europe along communicative lines rather than other possible categorisations. Given
that she did not disattend to him completely, even these communicative borders may
be porous – since both of them were present in this ‘safe’ space for interaction with
others of a similar ‘mentality’. These three instances thus demonstrate how trajectory is
practiced, managed, and delineated through diasporic activity and time spent in
Morocco, so that possibilities for encounters with others of similar trajectories abound
while delineation between superdiverse diasporic Moroccans and others of a different
‘mentality’ become more sharply, spatially closed.
These examples also indicate fluidity to how difference and sameness can be complexly
configured in diasporic face-to-face encounters, facilitated by the accessibility of the ances-
tral homeland as a site for leisure circulation. These complex configurations raise ques-
tions about what ‘integration’ might look like for these diverse partnerships as they
settle into European homes, but connect themselves to different geolocatable points in
various homelands. They also raise questions to how superdiversities incorporate
complex connectivities made through their mobile lives, taking place in Europe and
elsewhere.
By choosing certain consumption spaces, DVs orient themselves to a diasporic diversity
that occurs in Morocco, but is dependent upon sharing a trajectory to and from Europe.
They encounter others with parallel knowledge about Moroccan and European places, lin-
guistic capacities in Moroccan and European languages, and presence in Morocco during
the summer holiday. Even if interactants do not share all the same geolocatable reference
points, they can be assured that they share a common ‘mentality’ of what constitutes a
‘respectful’ encounter between heterosexual men and women that, for these women, is cat-
egorically relevant to being a ‘Moroccan-from-Europe’ in contrast to ‘disrespectful’ men
they encounter in public places in Morocco. Their integration – both as visitors in
Morocco and as residents (with their romantic partners) in Europe – depends on the mul-
tiplicity of places and belongings crossed by these trajectories, yet delimited by ‘respect’.
Recognising these complex diasporic trajectories, rather than categorising individuals
through other determinate labels like ‘ethnicity’, opens a perspective on how these individ-
uals, as clustered minority communities in different places in Europe, can recognise each
other across presumed similarities and differences in a complex, mobile, and evolving col-
lective that adds a different dimension to superdiversity.
Note
1. The scope of these observations is unfortunately limited to hetero-normative sexual activity.
Disclosure statement
No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author.
ORCID
Lauren B. Wagner http://orcid.org/0000-0002-4778-7408
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