Camille C.

Arandil February 8, 2020

MA- Psychology 1 Ms. Maria Leorupee Barros

IDEALS, THE SELF & FLEXIBILITY

From this reading, it further support the findings on biological instincts of

individual for the tendency to choose the best mate. Hence, in application to
reality especially before entering marriage, it is important for us to select the
best partner that we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

In the aspect of selection, how we select our possible partners differ in

gender. For women, they prefer partners who possess these qualities; warmth,
trustworthiness and resources. Since, women are emotional they would really
prefer partners who can give them affection and has the capacity to support a
family. One of the reasons on why women tend to be attracted to these qualities
are for the “eggs” or “future babies” that they want to invest in this man.
Personally speaking, I would not prefer to pursue a relationship when I am not
secured enough with my potential partner’s capacity to love and his abilities to
sustain a family. Therefore, giving out offspring from a partner without
considering the suitability of this person is not actually ideal. Again, in
application, I think this is the reason why there are numerous cases of teenage
pregnancies nowadays, because teenagers are impulsive and still not in the right
maturity to think of their culturally-related ideals.

On the other note, for individuals who are already in the relationship, the
guarantee to sustain the relationship is on how they view the quality of their
relationship and more importantly their thoughts about themselves. In the
article, it highlighted that positive self-thoughts predicted good quality of
relationship. Positive self-thoughts for me is related on how secured you are in a
relationship. Negative self thoughts would lead to the possibilities of
experiencing extreme jealousy, mistrustful, suspiciousness and insecurities in
the relationship. Which are not healthy in any relationship, hence would not
result into good quality of relationship.

Moreover, shortcomings, difficulties on personalities and misunderstanding

are all part of relationship, the article also emphasized that if the person feels
that he or she is not matching to his or her partners ideals, the person would
most likely to compensate and showcase other capacities in order to contribute
into a satisfying relationship. This for me must be present in the relationship
rather than on focusing on the partner’s lapses. Also, communication is
important to direct the on going relationship of the couple.

Above all, there is no perfect and right formula towards long lasting
relationship, if couples would not build their relationship on understanding,
mutual trust, commitment, love and the truth about relationship that our God
taught us.