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 Contents
The things
they say…
“Do what you can,
with what you have,
where you are”
Theodore Roosevelt
29 March 2020 1858-1919
10

PHOTOGRAPHS: EUAN DANKS / STYLING: LAUREN GOODWIN-GRAFTON / MODEL: MODEL: FRANZISKA KLEIN AT PROFILE / FASHION ASSISTANT: MEGAN REES /
HAIR AND MAKE-UP: KATRIN REES USING CAUDALÍE SKINCARE, CHARLOTTE TILBURY MAKE-UP AND SAM MCKNIGHT HAIR MAKE-UP ASSISTANT: AMY JOYCE
40 44
38 Victoria’s best 24 Kimberley Walsh 18-21 Beauty
Fashion Victoria Gray lusts over lilac From singer to star of the stage, Gadgets, plus new beauty booty
4 Get this! 40 Interiors she tells us about her latest role 36 Agony aunt
This week’s must-haves Pretty Easter decorations that 28 Dealing with dementia By Jane O’Gorman and Dr
8 Focus you can make yourself Novelist Nicci Gerrard on changing Rosemary Leonard
Liven up your wardrobe 44 Food the way we see the disease 52 Books
with an orange palette Moreish yet mild Indian delights 31 Specs appeal Kill some time with a thrilling
10 Fresh flowers 49 Drinks Viktor and Rolf have set their murder mystery
Forget cutesy florals – spring’s Jamie Goode samples stouts sights on new designs 55 Fiction
blooms are bright and modern 50 Gardens 57 My favourite photo A short story by Kate Griffin
Alan Titchmarsh on climbers Bob Geldof looks back at his 59-72 Switch on
and ramblers time in The Boomtown Rats The week on TV and radio
Lifestyle 75 Mindy Hammond
32 Switch off… On wolves, bats and coronavirus
… and learn meditation People Regulars 77 Stars
34 A big deal 22 Life as I know it 7 First look Russell Grant predicts your week
The facts about fat With presenter Vernon Kay The hottest tickets in town 78 The £1,000 crossword

Editor Margaret Hussey Art Director Greg Anderson Assistant Editor Graham Bailey Supplements Picture Editor Karen Vowles Picture Editor Sarah White On the cover: Jumper, £32, Topshop
Production Editor Jan Brierley Lifestyle Director Victoria Gray Group Fashion & Beauty Director Michelle Darlow Fashion Director Rivkie Baum (topshop.com); trousers, £79, Anonyme
Fashion Editors Harriet Wheeler, Lauren Goodwin-Grafton Fashion Stylists/Writers Megan Rees, Katy Gale, Sophie Goodwin, Scott Wells (anonyme.com); bag, £19.99, Mango
Beauty Director Lynne Hyland Beauty Editor Laura Mulley Beauty Stylist/Writer Zoe Cripps Senior Feature Writer Kirsten Jones Literary Editor
Charlotte Heathcote Chief Sub Editor Jennifer Wignall Sub Editors Bridget Rowan, Catrina Walker, Mia Bolton
(mango.com)
This page: Shirt dress, £550, Daks
S Magazine, Second Floor, Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames Street, London EC3R 6EN. (daks.com)

Follow us on Twitter @SMagazineUK and on Instagram @smagazineuk or email magmail@express.co.uk

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 3

 Get this!
There’s something for every budget in this week’s must-have selection Compiled by Scott Wells

FEELING
FRESH
Day 2 Fresh &
Clean Foaming
Dry Shampoo,
£4.99,
TRESemmé at
Boots (0345
609 0055,
NOURISHINGLY GOOD boots.com)
SWEET SCENTS Mango body yoghurt, £9,
Floral scented wax melts, £3, The Body Shop (0800 092
Glam Wax (glamwax.co.uk) 9090, thebodyshop.com)

CHARGE UP
iPad/iPhone pillow
charging station,
£29.99, Slyk (slyk.co.uk)
ON THE GO
West Loop
travel mug,
£21.65,
Contigo at
Amazon
(amazon.
BLUE HEAVEN co.uk)
Blue glass candle, £12.99, H&M
(0344 736 9000, hm.com)

RING
RING
Doogee
N100
mobile
phone, PERFECT
£159.99, STRANGER
Doogee at Set of three Stranger Things- TICK TOCK WALK THIS WAY
Amazon themed storage tins, £17.99, Gold watch, £190, Versus Versace Snake-print leather butterfly
(amazon. Funko at Truffle Shuffle (01179 at H Samuel (0800 458 1065, boots, £495, Sophia Webster
co.uk) 828884, truffleshuffle.co.uk) hsamuel.co.uk) (sophiawebster.com)

4 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

 JUST RELAX X
Thisworks
Love Sleep
pillow spray, SOUND BITE
£30, John Echo Dot speaker with clock,
Lewis & £59.99, Amazon (amazon.co.uk)
Partners (0345 CARRY ON
604 9049, Pastel blue bag, £77, Matt &
johnlewis.com) Nat (mattandnat.com)

CAFFEINE FIX
CLASSIC SPRITZ BERRY GOOD Jura ENA 8 espresso coffee
Damask Eau De Parfum (50ml), Bombay Bramble Blackberry machine, £745, John Lewis
£135, Ormonde Jayne at Harrods & Raspberry infused gin, £23, & Partners (0345 604 9049,
(020 3626 7911, harrods.com) Sainsbury’s (sainsburys.co.uk) johnlewis.com)
SHINE
A LIGHT
Pink lamp,
£16, Dunelm
(0345 165
6565, dunelm.
com)

HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR BLOWN AWAY FANCY BREW

Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroe Supersonic hairdryer, Tea infuser set,
cushion cover, £25, Tate £299.99, Dyson (0800 £110, Mariage Frères
Modern (shop.tate.org.uk) 298 0298, dyson.co.uk) (mariagefreres.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 5

TWO PAIRS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! STRETCH FABRIC
NOW FROM ONLY £10.50 WHEN YOU
+p&p BUY 2 PAIRS
COMFORT TROUSERS
Moves with your body to flatter
your figure to perfection
Look a million dollars in our fabulous figure flattering trousers

SAVE tailored for comfort with an all round super smooth stretch waist,
straight leg styling and smart pintuck stitch down front leg. Amazing
stretch fabric pull on style with no fiddly fastenings to worry about,

50% created from 77% Polyester, 19% Viscose, 4% Elastane. Easy care.
Machine washable. Seven colours; Black, Chocolate, Denim Marl,
Grey Marl, Navy, Stone & Wine.
Size One Pair Offer price Promotion YOU
SMOOTH Was for 2 Pairs Price per Pair SAVE
10, 12, 14 £21 £21 £10.50 £21
ALL ROUND NAVY 16, 18, 20, 22 £23 £23 £11.50 £23
ELASTICATION Order Style LT201 3 Leg lengths; 25”, 27” and 29”
FOR SUPREME LADIES FLEXIBLE SLIP-ON SHOES
&
A
"%"
A
!"'!
A
'
COMFORT The Ultimate Comfort Shoes for all day wear, and ONLY
£12 per pair. Super soft uppers, cushioned insole and flexible sole,
STONE in a variety of popular colours to co-ordinate with your wardrobe.
Six summer shades - Pewter, White, Blue, Beige, Navy or Black and
CHOICE OF six sizes – 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
7 COLOURS Uppers/Lining/Sock – man-made. Order Style LJ491
Order today
BLACK
www.chums.co.uk/offers
DENIM And enter media code 13SEM20 Now accepted
MARL Our friendly UK Customer Service Staff are waiting to take your order.
TEL: 08715 265 265 Calls cost 13p per minute from BT Landlines but may vary
depending on your phone company or if using a mobile.

WINE Send cheques/POs or Mastercard/Visa/Maestro cards details to

Chums Ltd., (Dept. 13SEM20), PO Box 50,Prescot, Merseyside L34 9GX.
Personal shoppers welcome at our showroom
Open Mon - Fri 9am - 4pm. M57 Junction 4, off School Lane,
Unity Grove, Knowsley Business Park, Liverpool, L34 9AR.

Send completed coupon to:

GREY Chums Ltd., (Dept.13SEM20),
MARL PO Box 50, Prescot, Merseyside L34 9GX
Please send me item(s) indicated (PLEASE USE BLOCK LETTERS)
ORDER STYLE COLOUR SIZE LEG LENGTH QTY PRICE

3 LEG CHOCOLATE
Order style Sub Total
LENGTHS LT201 Ladies Comfort Trousers UK Mainland P&P £5.65
LJ491 Ladies Slip-on Shoe
25”, 27”, 29” I enclose Cheques / POs made payable TOTAL
to Chums Ltd for £
Please write your address (inc. post code) on reverse of cheque.
Or charge my MasterCard/Visa/Maestro Account No.

All Sizes Ladies Flexible Slip-on Shoes with cushioned insole Please tick: MasterCard Visa Maestro
ONLY BLACK
Start Date: / Expiry Date: /

£12
PER PAIR +p&p
PEWTER

BEIGE
Card issue no:
(Maestro cards only)

Name: Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms
Address
Sizes 3-8

BLUE Post Code

Tel. MEDIA CODE
13SEM20
CALL FLEXISOLE
Email

NOW! WHITE Chums offer you FREE RETURNS and complete satisfaction if you want an exchange or
your money back. Goods usually delivered within 7 days.
08715 www.chums.co.uk/offers
We think you’d enjoy some of the latest products and selected offers by post from other trusted retailers, charities, finance,
travel, FMCG and utility companies. If you would prefer not to receive these by post, please tick this box . To learn more

265 265 and enter media code 13SEM20 NAVY

about our trusted partners and how we use your data, see our privacy policy at www.chums.co.uk/privacy or ask for a copy
when you call us. From time to time Chums would like to send you our latest catalogues, special offers and promotions by
post that we think you’d appreciate as a valued customer. If you would prefer not to receive these, please tick this box
Chums Ltd. Co. Reg. No. 1561474
Only one media or promotion code per transaction
 first look by Kirsten Jones
TRY
Wish you could strum your
favourite song on guitar? Well
now you can. American guitar
giant Fender has launched an
app that teaches anyone how
to play tunes and riffs. Fender
Play runs on Android, iPhone,
iPad and desktop devices,
provides simple, song-based
video lessons and is suitable
for acoustic, electric and bass
guitarists – and ukulele players.
It costs £89.99 for a year or
£9.99 a month from fender.
com. Annual subscribers get
10 per cent off new Fender
gear, too, so you can treat
yourself to that Stratocaster
you’ve always fancied.

LISTEN TO YouTube star Blanks has a real

passion for music – and more
than a million fans, including Ariana Grande and Cruz Beckham.
Known for his “style swap” music videos and fresh from his
performance at Eurosonic festival, he’s released new single
Sweaters, a catchy, anthemic tune with a summertime
vibe. Visit musicby
blanks.com.

WATCH
Supermodel Heidi Klum and her Project Runway
co-star Tim Gunn are back in action on new
reality show Making The Cut. The 10-parter
sees 12 entrepreneurs and designers from
around the world battle it out in a bid to win a
million dollars to invest in their brand. Not only
that, but as this is an Amazon Prime Video
show, they’ll have an exclusive clothing line
on Amazon and viewers will be able to buy the
winning look from each show online after every
episode. Guest judges include Naomi Campbell,
Nicole Richie and former Vogue Paris editor-in-chief
Carine Roitfeld. The show has been filmed in Paris,
New York and Tokyo. Expect tantrums, tears and drama
in Making The Cut, on Amazon Prime Video now.

MUST HAVE Out Of Touch

When their estranged
father reaches out to
Knives Out
After a rich patriarch
dies, his fiery family hires
Get to grips with them on his deathbed, a detective to solve the
two siblings confront their mystery of his demise.
dysfunctional families past – with help from Can Benoit Blanc find the
in a moving debut novel friends. Haleh Agar’s cat among the canaries?
and an entertaining novel is out on Thursday This funny and thrilling
for £14.99. See Express whodunnit is out on Blu-
comedy-thriller Bookshop on page 77. ray and DVD tomorrow.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 7

 The
3 4

future’s
orange
Give your wardrobe some extra zing 5
6

with one of spring’s key colour trends

Compiled by Scott Wells

z 1. Crocodile-print bag, £59, Carvela at Kurt Geiger

(020 7781 7480, kurtgeiger.com) z 2. Quilted sandals, £36,
Topshop (0344 984 0264, topshop.com) z 3. Floral shirt,
£39.50, Marks & Spencer (0333 014 8000, marksandspencer.
com) z 4. Skirt, £59, Cos (cosstores.com) z 5. Trousers,
£40, River Island (0344 576 6444, riverisland.com) z 6. Silk
dress with waist tie, £415, Diane von Furstenberg at Harvey
Nichols (020 7201 8088, harveynichols.com) z 7. Dress,
£169.95, Scotch & Soda, (020 3868 0496, scotch-soda.com)
z 8. Cardigan, £95, John Lewis & Partners (0345 604 9049,
johnlewis.com) z 9. Bag with grey border, £417, Amanda
Wakeley at QVC (0800 514131, qvcuk.com) z 10. Blazer,
£165, NÜ Denmark (nu-denmark.com) z 11. Crocodile-
print coat, £85, ASOS (020 7756 1000, asos.com)

8 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

 FOCUS
7
8

11

10

Orange dress,
£329, Luisa Cerano
(luisacerano.com);
pink sandals,
stylist’s own

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 9

10 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 FASHION

Flower
power
This spring’s floral prints
take on fresh appeal with
bright and modern blooms
Styling by Lauren Goodwin-Grafton
Photographs by Euan Danks

Jumper, £59,
Autograph at Marks &
Spencer (marksand
spencer.com); skirt,
£39, Topshop
(topshop.com); heels,
£40; hat, £14, both
ASOS (asos.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 11

 Top, £59, Finery
(finerylondon.com);
skirt, £49, Topshop
(topshop.com);
shoes, £256, Chie
Mihara (chie
mihara.com/en)

12 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

 FASHION

Top, £29.99,
Reserved
(reserved.com);
scarf (worn as
headband), £22,
Oliver Bonas
(oliverbonas.com);
earrings, £9.50,
Marks & Spencer
(marksand
spencer.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 13

 Shirt, £395,
Escada at
Fenwick
(fenwick.co.uk);
trousers, £85,
Anonyme
(anonyme.com)

14 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

 FASHION
Dress, £845,
MSGM at Fenwick
(fenwick.co.uk);
sandals, £85,
Dune London
(dunelondon.com);
bag, £29.99,
Urban Revivo
(urbanrevivo.com)

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 15

 FASHION

Jumper, £32,
Topshop (topshop.
com); trousers,
£79, Anonyme
(anonyme.com);
bag, £19.99,
Mango (shop.
mango.com)

Fashion assistant:
Megan Rees
Hair and make-up:
Katrin Rees using
Caudalíe skincare,
Charlotte Tilbury
make-up and Sam
McKnight hair
Make-up assistant:
Amy Joyce
Model: Franziska
Klein at Profile
Flowers: From
a selection by
Serenata Flowers
and Moonpig.com
Paint: Pistachio
Creme available
from Dulux

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 17

 Lynne Hyland
Inspect a gadget
Fancy giving your beauty regime a technical upgrade? We’ve
tested a host of clever inventions that promise to do just that…
ou’ve upgraded your phone,
Y
you’ve switched to a smart
TV and you’ve boosted your
broadband speed – but
should you be giving your
beauty regime a technical upgrade, too?
If you’re in the market for a shiny new
gadget, 2020 certainly has plenty to
offer. However, as anyone who’s taken
the hit on an iPhone 11 Pro will know,
innovation doesn’t come cheap. The
S beauty team has been busy checking
out the latest beauty gadgets, gizmos
and machines to find out which are
worth investing in…
1. The £399 super-straightener
What? The Dyson Corrale
straightener has been nearly a decade
in the making and you’ll be parting
with a cool £399 (dyson.co.uk) for
the promise of perfect styling with half
the damage. That’s down to the iron’s
unique, flexible plates that round up
– or “corrale” – your hair and distribute
heat and pressure evenly so you’ll only
need to go over each section once. It’s
cordless, too, and gives 30 minutes of
on-the-go styling.
Beauty director Lynne says:
“Design-wise, the Corrale doesn’t look
that revolutionary. (It doesn’t help that
1 2
18
BaByliss recently sneaked in with its
own, rather good, cordless straightener.)
While the Corrale did a fine job of
both straightening and curling my
hair, I wouldn’t say it outperformed my
regular ghds. If you’re hot on damage
limitation, the long-term benefits of the
Corrale might reel you in. Personally,
though, the only thing that would tempt
me to splurge £400 on a straightener
would be one that gave me other-level
shine and sleekness.”
2. The at-home LED mask
What? LED light therapy used to be
found only in fancy facial treatments,
but the technology is now available
at home. The CurrentBody Skin
LED Light Therapy Mask, £325
(currentbody.com), straps on to the
face and glows slightly sinisterly on
the inside, leaving you looking like a
cross between Iron Man and Hannibal
Lecter. It has two wavelengths of red
light, which stimulate skin rejuvenation.
It’s clinically proven to reduce wrinkles
by 35 per cent in four weeks after 10
minutes use three to five times a week.
Beauty editor Laura says: “I’m a
sucker for a beauty gadget, but only if it
requires no effort on my part. So I loved
the idea of this, which you can wear
while watching TV. I like how it is
flexible and so will fit most faces
and can be rolled up for travel or neat
storage. However, the strap did have
a tendency to slip and the red light
in my peripheral vision was very
bright. I feel this needs to be used
regularly to see noticeable results,
but I’m happy to make it a regular
part of my evening routine.”
3. The mix-your-own skin regime
What? Imagine a machine that will mix
up and dispense a day or night cream
that’s natural, sterile, preservative-free
and tailored to your skin needs. That’s
the idea of DUOLAB, £250 (duolab.
com), a Nespresso-like gadget that
uses recyclable skincare pods created
by L’Occitane. You insert one of three
moisturising base capsules then add
one of five targeted pods for things like
firming or calming – 90 seconds and
zero mess later, DUOLAB delivers your
bespoke blend. In trials, 100 per cent
of users saw an instant skin boost.
Lynne says: “DUOLAB is undeniably
very cool and great fun to use.
I clicked my capsules in and
watched, fascinated, as the
machine physically squeezed the
potions together. The resulting
3 4
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 cream came out warm and felt
gorgeous on my skin. It’s a hefty
investment, as each capsule costs
£1.25. However, I can definitely see
this appealing to skincare junkies,
particularly as more brands launch
their own DUOLAB-compatible pods.

4. The hot cleansing crystal

What? We’ve all heard of cleansing
brushes but PMD Clean Pro Rose
Quartz, £165 (trypmd.com), has
silicone bristles on one side and a
heated rose quartz crystal on the other.
First cleanse with the brush, then use
the crystal to massage in your regular
skin serum. The hot stone is meant to
reduce tension and inflammation and
increase serum absorption.
Beauty writer Zoe says: “I’m not a
big believer in crystals – I just don’t see
what a rock is going to do for my face
or for my aura. The brush, however, did
deliver on deep cleansing and my skin
soon looked noticeably less bumpy.
The heated stone gets nicely hot and it
feels very relaxing to sit for five minutes
in front of the TV massaging in my
serum. I’m not sure it made the
product absorb much more quickly,
but hey, it feels nice on a cold night.”

5. The sonic face de-fuzzer

What? Dermaplaning involves a
therapist whisking a tiny scalpel over
your face to remove peach fuzz and
dead skin, leaving your complexion
supersmooth and glowing. There’s
already a DIY version, the Hollywood
Browzer, and it’s now got a hi-tech
sister, the Hollywood Smoother,
£49.95 (lookfantastic.com). This is a
battery-operated “scalpel” which uses
sonic technology for a smooth shave.
Lynne says: “Can I just start by saying
5 I don’t think I have a particularly hairy
face? However, I literally shrieked when
I saw how much furry debris flew off
FLORIAN SOMMET / TRUNK ARCHIVE

as I stroked the Smoother over my

jawline. It’s quick, easy and painless
to use and I was delighted by how
soft it left my skin. Foundation went
on beautifully and creams sank
effortlessly into my de-fuzzed face.
The only catch? I’m not convinced
the sonic version does a better job
than the hand-held original, which
is a third of the price.” ●
S

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 19

 GARDENING
BUY TWO GET
EVERGREEN GARDENIA ONE
FREE
‘Kleim’s Hardy’
BACK BY
POPULAR
DEMAND

Gardenia jasminoides ‘Kleim’s Hardy’ @
Ideal for patio pots and containers Post to: Express Garden, Gardenia Kleims Hardy Offer (EX5883), 14 Hadfield Street, Old
is the original frost hardy evergreen where it will grow to 80cm. Trafford, Manchester, M16 9FG.
Gardenia that produces highly fragrant @
Exotic, sweetly scented single white
I enclose a cheque for £ made payable to ‘Express Garden’. Please write your
flowers, unrivalled by few other shrubs. flowers.
name and address on the back of your cheque and use blue or black ink.
The elegant white saucer-shaped @
9cm pot plants supplied.
flowers will appear on attractive glossy
foliage thoughout summer, well into
Free delivery within 14 days. Or please debit my… Visa MasterCard Maestro card
autumn.
Card no Iss no (if Maestro)
)\`VUL.HYKLUPHº2SLPT»Z/HYK`»MVY‰  VYVYKLY[^VMVYVUS`‰  
HUKYLJPL]LHM\Y[OLYVULHIZVS\[LS`-9,, Valid from Exp date

ITEM QTY PRICE TOTAL Mr Mrs Ms First name ............................................Surname .......................................................

GARDENIA ‘KLEIM’S HARDY’ £9.99 £
Address .....................................................................................................................Postcode ..................................
2 GARDENIA ‘KLEIM’S HARDY’ + 1 FREE £19.98 £ Daytime tel no .......................................................................................................... Date ..........................................
TOTAL DUE £ Name on Card .....................................................................Signature .....................................................................

TO ORDER CALL 0871 664 1469 EX5883 QUOTING

OR VISIT SHOP.EXPRESS.CO.UK/5883
Post to: Express Garden, Gardenia Kleims Hardy Offer (EX5883), 14 Hadfield Street, Old Trafford, Manchester, M16 9FG. If you prefer to receive information and offers from organisations carefully selected by Express
Newspapers, please tick here. To see how your data is processed please refer to Express’s Privacy Policy: https://www.shop.express.co.uk/privacy This offer is provided by J Parker Dutch Bulbs Ltd, 14 Hadfield Street,
Manchester, M16 9FG. Company is registered in England No. 1467306. Offer subject to availability. For queries on refunds or product information please contact J Parker Dutch Bulbs Ltd. on 0161 848 1101.
Calls cost 12p per minute from a BT landline plus network extras. Calls from other networks and mobiles may cost more.
 Counter
Beauty
Edited by Laura Mulley

The eyes
have it
Laura Mercier Caviar
Stick Eye Colours (£24;
lauramercier.com) are
one of the easiest
ways to do eyeshadow
– simply scribble on
where required and
smudge out. The brand
has just launched 12
new shimmery shades
for spring, ranging
from soft bronzes
to bold jewel tones.
The lighter shades
are perfect for the
inner corner of
the eye, while
the brighter
colours look
stunning when
applied close to
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extract, which strengthens

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 21

 Life as I know it
Vernon Kay
TV presenter Vernon, 45, lives in Buckinghamshire with his two
daughters and Strictly Come Dancing presenter wife Tess Daly
Words by Jennifer Rodger
Not a lot of people know this but I’m
very good at… a few things actually.
I won two national championships
playing American football. I’m pretty
good at flying radio-controlled aircraft
and at packing for purpose. I’ll plan
my outfits per day.
My best friend is… Ever since I moved
down to London I’ve not lost contact
with a core group of friends from up
North – Luke, Shaun, Brendan, Keith
and Simon. We WhatsApp for casual
conversation but it’s important to phone
or go for coffee, because then you
can see the sorrow or the glee in their
eyes. I’m not really friends with anyone
famous because what I do for a living
is work, it puts food on the table.
Bringing the work home is watching
telly. I hate saying this is garbage.
Because you never wanna kick a man
out of a job.
My nickname is… Me and my
youngest daughter call each other
“stinky”. No, I am far from stinky…
And obviously, when the wet
towels are on the bed and the
dishwasher door is open, Tess
has a few names that come out
– but not necessarily nicknames.
The bravest thing I’ve ever done
is… I’ve done triathlons that need
solid mindfulness to get through them.
I did the Royal Windsor River Swim
and that was horrific. I’ve never been
so cold in my life. The Thames is vile
and tastes of diesel.
My favourite TV show is… I like
watching people compete, it doesn’t
matter what sport it is, it’s to observe
22
a player’s ability and agility. And I watch
football when it’s on just because
it’s on. Then there are a load of
documentaries. I’m watching a lot
of Second World War ones because
I honestly believe we should never
forget that it was horrendous.
My perfect evening is… It would start
with picking the kids up from school
(daughters Amber, 10, and Phoebe, 15),
doing homework, having dinner done,
then making sure they are set up for the
evening and Tess and I get our glad
rags on and go for a nice dinner. Great
conversation, a nice bottle of wine
or some bubbles and then just come
home and watch a couple of episodes
of something. Obviously, when Tess
and I first met that would have been
completely different.
My first kiss was… I’m embarrassed
that I can’t remember her name but
she had a very, very tight perm and it
was definitely at Wigan Pier nightclub.
It was sixth form. I was a late developer
– some might say it was a good
Catholic upbringing. Those were
interesting times because everyone was
kissing everyone else, but I didn’t start
puberty until I was 17. This is no word
of a lie, but during the summer holiday
from lower sixth to upper sixth, I came
back and no one recognised me. I’d left
5ft 8in and came back 6ft 4in.
The best thing my parents taught
me was… My mum was brought up by
her father so all the foundations of how
we were brought up were based around
my grandad. So we were told things
like, “Tide and time wait for no man.”
Lies were never ever, ever, ever
accepted in our household. Ever. That
was the worst thing we could do. And
just be a nice person. It was probably
based around the Ten Commandments.
My biggest regret is… not building
my own English production team
when I had the opportunity to work in
America. I did three shows and none
of them worked, and I look back and
think they would have if I’d had an
English team. They make television
differently in America, it’s very formulaic
and regimented – at one point I had
nine people talking in my earpiece.
I would like to say sorry to…
Mr Buller, my A-level French teacher,
because I was the only one in the
class who failed. I think I failed
because I became so engrossed in
grunge music. I’m going to blame Nirvana
and Pearl Jam. I’ve contacted my old
sixth form to say can you possibly find
him because I would love to sit down
and have a conversation. Not necessarily
talk about my failure in French.
The one thing I would change about
myself is… Some people say that I’m
too laid-back. I believe that something
is only a problem when it can’t be
fixed. There’s a difference between
problems and inconvenience and
they get confused. In my house, I’m
asked why am I not panicking when
something is going wrong.
The last time I cried was… It’s a
bit soppy but I always cry at school
performances. So at Christmas, our
eldest had the Dolly Parton role in
the school performance of 9 To 5 and
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 she was just phenomenal. I bawled
my eyes out as soon as she walked
on. I do believe that she has got what
it takes to go into the entertainment
business. But we wouldn’t help her
because I don’t believe that celebrity
parents should in any way aid their kids’
success because then where’s the
motivation if everything is on a plate?
So our kids have got to go out there
and work and find their own way.
The first record I ever bought
was… the theme tune to Convoy, the
movie starring Kris Kristofferson and
Ali MacGraw. I listen to it every now
and again and it does make me laugh.
It’s not good for my image but
I like… all the nerdy stuff – technical
gadgets, model aeroplanes and
paintball. Tess says that I’ve got a habit
of buying tat. Any golf aid that will help
improve my swing, I have it. I have to

“I believe that
something is
only a problem
when it can’t
be fixed”
delete Amazon every six months – the
owner, Jeff Bezos, is a multibillionaire
because of me.
If I could pass any law I would… put
a stop to fly-tipping and dropping litter.
To make our environment physically
ugly is a crime. I say something all the
time when I see someone dropping litter
and I’ve got into trouble for it because
people do get aggressive when you
hand litter back. We all share this place
we live in; let’s make it nice.
My last holiday was... in the Maldives
for Tess’s 50th, which was amazing.
Everything was a picture postcard –
crystal-clear waters, beautiful warm
sea, loads of tropical fish swimming
around and amazing food. The kids
loved it and we loved it as well. ●
ALASTAIR STALEY

Vernon Kay will present the Rome

E-Prix, which has been postponed but
will be rescheduled for later this year.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 23

 Centre
stage
From Girls Aloud to hit musicals, bubbly Kimberley Walsh
loves life in the limelight Words by Kirsten Jones
S
pirited singer-songwriter,
actress and TV presenter
Kimberley Walsh is
whipping around the West
End looking for a bite to
eat as she waxes lyrical about her
latest role. When we meet, rehearsals
are well under way for Sleepless:
A Musical Romance with Kimberley
and Jay McGuiness taking the lead
roles in the show based on hit 1993
romcom Sleepless In Seattle. And
while the days are long and the work
tough, Kimberley remains as bright
and bouncy as ever.
“Oh, it’s not too crazy,” assures
Kimberley, unfazed as another gaggle
of tourists strides by. “I guess I’m
used to most hours of the day being
taken up. The days go by so quickly
and when I’m done, I go home, chill
with the kids and get them to bed.”
She’s talking about sons Bobby,
five, and three-year-old Cole, who
are used to their mum’s busy and
ever-changing schedule.
The 38 year old has been in the
limelight since 2002 when she
wowed Pete Waterman on Popstars:
The Rivals and shot to fame with
band Girls Aloud. Kimberley later
went on to release her own music
and an autobiography, A Whole Lot
24
Of History, before making her West
End debut in 2012 as Princess Fiona
in Shrek The Musical.
“Bobby gets it now,” she says of
her fame. “He’s a bit confused as
to why people care so much, but
he’s got a chilled manner in life and
seems to be dealing with it well. Even
when we’re playing restaurants at
home he’ll pretend to ask me for
a selfie because that’s what other
people do. Bless him.”
And while spring has well and truly
sprung, along with buckets of rain
and high winds, Kimberley’s well
prepared to weather the storm with
her latest Regatta collection. Gone
are the days of settling for a frumpy
raincoat – this is a range full of trendy
jackets and prints.
“Practical clothes have come
a long way,” she laughs. “It’s all
inspired by the English summer. We
feel like spring is here but actually,
deep down, we know it’s going to
rain the whole time. Us mums have
to be prepared for every eventuality.
These pieces don’t take up room.
You can just pop a jacket in your bag
with all the kids’ stuff and never get
caught out.”
When she’s not working her socks
off, Kimberley can be found outside
with the boys, running around
and keeping active in all weathers.
Camping is on the cards, too, but
that’s for better days.
“The boys keep asking about it. It’ll
be something they love, although I’m
not sure I will. I’ll have to do it for their
sake I think,” she confesses. “When
I was young I wanted to be at
Glastonbury every year and now it’s
things like The Big Feastival, you
know, things the kids will like. We’ve
got a fashionable festival raincoat
in the collection, actually. It’s got a
little drawstring to pull you in at the
waist, a lovely fishtail shape and
a snakeskin-style print.”
Back inside and far from the
madding crowd, Kimberley has her
acting hat on. It’s her second time
sharing the stage with Jay and the
pair’s second adaptation of a Tom
Hanks movie. Last year they told the
tale of Big, about a boy whose wish
to be a grown-up comes true, while
Sleepless is a classic romance.
Jay was a singer with band The
Wanted before he won the 13th
series of Strictly Come Dancing with
professional dancer Aliona Vilani.
Kimberley (and Pasha Kovalev)
couldn’t quite clutch the glittering
trophy in 2012, coming joint second
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 INTERVIEW

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 25

 with Denise Van Outen and her partner
James Jordan – gymnast Louis
Smith stole the show. But onstage
Kimberley and Jay make the perfect
pair. “Knowing Jay makes everything
so much easier,” she says. “We didn’t
need to settle or get used to leaving
our inhibitions behind. He’s such a
lovely energy to have around so I think
it’s going to be a really fun show.”
The musical sees widower Sam
(Jay) moving to the city with his
young son, Jonah. After Sam shares
his heartbreaking story on the radio,
Annie, a spirited journalist played by
Kimberley, journeys across America
to get the scoop. It’s Jonah’s job to
bring the pair together just in time for
Valentine’s Day.
“When I was young I watched
Sleepless In Seattle on repeat,”
Kimberley confesses. “I did the first
workshop for the show four years ago
but I got pregnant with Bobby. My
heart was so attached to the role that
when it came up again, I really wanted
the part. I’ve always played characters
that others have done before me, so
to have a new role that I could create
myself was really special.”
In the film, Annie is played by Meg
Ryan and Sam by Tom Hanks, but
there’s no pressure to step into the
Hollywood actors’ shoes, insists
Kimberley. “The musical is so
Right: With husband Justin and sons Bobby and Cole
Below: Performing with her Girls Aloud bandmates, Nicola
Roberts, Cheryl Tweedy, Nadine Coyle and Sarah Harding in 2013
26
different. Sure, the story very much
follows the plot of the film, but there
are definitely differences and Annie’s
character is a bit more exaggerated
onstage. She’s quirky, funny and it’s
a really nice part to play.”
And if the Hollywood A-listers went
to see the show? “I mean, wouldn’t it
just be amazing? Let’s hope they
hear that it’s a must-see.”
“We both
make sure we
know how
loved we are
all the time”
While Kimberley adores a good
love story, romance doesn’t play
a huge part in her own life. She’s
not a hopeless romantic and neither
is her husband, Justin. They’re not
a grand gesture kind of couple,
she admits. “We’re both quite
thoughtful and try to do things that
will make each other’s lives easier.
We make sure that the other person
knows how loved they are all the
time,” she says. “I do, however,
believe in fate, which is the main
thread running through Sleepless.
Signs and fate bring the right people
together in the end. Me and Justin
have mutual friends who got married,
so we would have always crossed
paths somehow.”
The pair met at a gig in 2003
when their bands, Girls Aloud and
Triple 8, were signed to the same
label. They tied the knot 13 years
later in Barbados, with Kimberley’s
former bandmates Cheryl Tweedy
and Nicola Roberts flying in to
be bridesmaids.
Although Girls Aloud split in 2013
and Kimberley went on to release her
solo album Centre Stage, the girls
have remained close. Best friend
Cheryl has enjoyed a successful solo
career and judges The Greatest
Dancer, and Nicola, aka Queen Bee,
wowed viewers to win ITV’s reality
GETTY IMAGES / SHUTTERSTOCK
singing competition The Masked
Singer. Nadine Coyle faced her fears
in the I’m A Celeb jungle while Sarah
Harding decided to step away from
the limelight after appearing on
Celebrity Big Brother in 2017.
“We feel so proud of each other
when we achieve something great.
It’s almost like watching your
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 INTERVIEW
children,” Kimberley says. “I knew
straight away that Queen Bee was
Nicola. I know her voice so well. She
couldn’t tell us, which was the most
hilarious thing. We’d wind her up by
sending her winking messages each
week, telling her how well the Bee
was doing. I was so proud of her
winning and so happy that people
got to recognise how great her voice
is. When you’re in a band you never
see someone’s potential individually.
It’s not possible, and that’s fine, but
it’s nice that she has finally had a
chance to show it.”
Kimberley takes her boys to Cheryl’s
house for playdates with her son
Bear, whose dad is One Direction’s
Liam Payne. “Cheryl and I are such
great friends we don’t need an excuse
to see each other,” she says. “The
playdates are great, though, and the
boys are very cute together. Bear is
always asking to come to our house
and mine always want to go to
Cheryl’s. Cole and Bear are the same
age, too. It’s all very exciting for them.”
With Girls Aloud, Kimberley would
sing to tens of thousands of fans at
festivals and in arenas and stadiums
around the world. In theatre, though,
there’s a different atmosphere. It’s
intimate and a whole new way of
performing, she says. “As a singer
you play yourself and you’re really
aware of people looking at you. In
the theatre, you’re wearing a wig and
you’re playing a character. My family
and friends say they genuinely forget
that it’s me on the stage because
I’m not speaking in my accent. I’m
American in this show and that’s my
job, to make them not think of me.”
The star takes every show in her
stride with no lucky charms or “break
a leg” wishes. She keeps nerves at
bay and can’t wait for more work to
come her way. “I always go with the
flow and things seem to come up.
Who knows, that’s why I love this job.
I don’t know what I might be doing
next but I’m busy all the time. I’m
wondering what’s next myself, and
I’m really looking forward to it.” ● S

The Kimberley Walsh Collection

for Regatta Great Outdoors
will be available later this year.
See regatta.com. At the time
of going to press, Sleepless:
A Musical Romance had been
rescheduled to May 3.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 27

 After she lost
her father to
dementia, novelist
Nicci Gerrard
swore to change
the way we see
– and treat – the
people who live
with the disease
Words by Kirsten Jones
t’s very rare to meet

“I a person who doesn’t

have some kind of intimate
connection with dementia,
and of course the older you
get, the more people you know
and the more you think, ‘Oh
gosh, it’s me.’”
Nicci Gerrard has invited us
inside her London home to
discover more about her in-depth
and incredibly personal book,

Dealing with
What Dementia Teaches Us
About Love. She is best known
as Nicci French – a crime-writing
alter ego she shares with her
husband Sean – and an Orwell
Prize-winning journalist who has
reported in detail about the care
and understanding of dementia

patients since her father, John, a
doctor and businessman, lost his
battle with the disease in 2014.
Dementia is a brain disease
that leads to nerve cell death,
tissue loss and inflammation.
The illness develops gradually,
leading to failing memory, poor
concentration, confusion and
decline of everyday skills. There
are many types of dementia
which cause different symptoms,
whether it be young onset
vascular or the more commonly
known Alzheimer’s disease.
Alarming statistics suggest
someone develops dementia
every three seconds.
“I was aware of dementia
since childhood,” says Nicci,
whose family has a history of the
disease on both sides. “I was
scared of it and every so often
I thought it was quite funny, in
dementia
a horrible way. I remember my
grandfather waking me up in
the night, naked and carrying
a suitcase, telling me he had
to escape. So I was aware,
but I didn’t think about it until
it came very close to home
with my father. You don’t think
about it until it’s affecting the
fabric of your life.”
Nicci remains assured as she
looks at her father’s experience
of dementia, an experience that
will never leave her entirely.
The day after her father’s
funeral, she launched herself
into John’s Campaign to fight
for greater hospital visiting rights
for family carers of dementia
patients, many of whom suffer
loneliness and isolation when
admitted for treatment. John
spent five weeks in hospital
for treatment for leg ulcers
and without regular visits
from his family – they were not
allowed due to strict rules – he
deteriorated rapidly and returned
home a different man.
“My father was a clever,
brilliant, nice and good man. In
the last nine months of his life he
could do nothing. He couldn’t
speak or recognise people, walk
or sit up, feed himself or say,
‘I am’,” Nicci recalls. “He didn’t
know his name, pretty much,
except for extraordinary moments
of lucidity. But there was no point
at which I could say, ‘That is
not my father.’ He was just a
diminished and frightened version
of the man that I knew and loved.
I still wish we could turn the clock
back. Just let me do it again and
do it better. That’s a terrible
thought when it’s irrevocable.
We didn’t do anything wrong,
we just didn’t know or realise.”
In her book, Nicci takes us on
a journey through dementia from

28 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020


PHIL FISK
Dr John Gerrard
the first signs to the very end
and the unwarranted shame and
silence, the hope and heartbreak
that is experienced in between.
She asks what dementia means
for the person and those they
love and leave behind, exploring
not only the mourning of lost
memories, but also the kindest
– and most inhumane – forms
of professional care. Nicci met
people from all walks of life who
share their emotional experience,
and also tackles the perils of
ageing, healthily or otherwise.
“I’m still trying to get used to
being offered a seat on the Tube,”
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
says the 61 year old. “Women
especially feel it very hard to get
older. We’re so judged on how
we look and spend so many
years being young, it’s rather
a surprise that we’re older. We
never quite catch up with the
self that we are.”
It’s the importance of this self
– and the idea that everybody
has a self until they die – that
Nicci explores. We owe it to
everybody to treat people as
humans, she says.
“In the 10 years that my father
was living quite well with the
illness, he was recognisably
Nicci with her dad
Nicci’s father
John as a
young man
himself. But everything that
made John Gerrard began to
disappear. It was taken away
from him by this cruel illness,
yet I knew him still. It was terribly
upsetting when somebody talked
about him as if he no longer
existed, because he did. Who
knew what was happening in that
old body and mind of his. We
have to be kind to each other,
whatever stage we’re at in life.”
We must be kind, too, she
says, to ourselves as carers
of people with this disease. For
many it feels like a duty to look
after their loved ones until the
INTERVIEW
end, but with that act comes an
all-encompassing exhaustion.
“When I tour with the
campaign we have a Q&A
session at the end and it’s almost
like therapy,” she reveals.
“The other day an old woman,
about 75, told us about her
husband who had early onset
dementia. He was violent and
she was his sole carer. Then
her son was diagnosed and
she cares for him, too. A hall
full of people offered their help
and held her hand. We live in
such angry times, and people
are kind and good.
“People go through a huge
loss but there is something
else that goes on with love.
It’s a pure and egoless emotion
beyond what’s happening to
the body, beyond the memories
disappearing. You become
a gatekeeper, holding on to
the memories for the person
you love.”
Dementia is no longer a taboo
subject in our society, says Nicci,
and it’s her campaign that has
helped change the culture in
hospitals, which now allow and
accept family carers on to wards.
It’s a small milestone in her eyes,
but the biggest – bar funding –
has already been achieved.
“We are now talking about
dementia. We say it out loud and
that is huge,” she says. “What
makes dementia terrifying is not
the illness itself, but the way we
treat it. We can make it better by
changing our attitudes.
“When you treat people in a
good, human and compassionate
way, it’s not as terrifying as it
looks. Maybe we think it won’t
happen to us, but I think it’s quite
possible for me. Every so often,
when I’m tired or stressed and
I become forgetful, I think, ‘Good
lord, here it comes.’ I’m terrified,
but I don’t panic.
“If I should get a diagnosis I am
hugely determined to confront it
and do it as well as I can.” ● S
What Dementia Teaches Us
About Love (Penguin, £9.99),
by Nicci Gerrard, is out now.
See Express Bookshop on
page 77.
29
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INTERVIEW
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all you’ll need for
specs appeal
Words by Lauren Carter

V
iktor and Rolf are
known for their
avant-garde designs
with celebrities loving
their quirky style and
in-your-face concepts. Kylie
Jenner has worn their “sorry I’m
late, I didn’t want to come”
dress, Jennifer Hudson has been
spotted in one of the tamer
outfits from their S/S 2020
collection, while singer and
actress Hailee Steinfeld wore
their “no photos please” dress
to the Met Gala last year.
So you may find it a surprise
that these out-there Dutch
designers have teamed up with
UK high-street chain Specsavers.
But friends Viktor Horsting and Rolf Snoeren (left) Hailee Steinfeld makes
Rolf Snoeren, who get great fun and Viktor Horsting a statement in Viktor & Rolf
out of acting as though they are
related, are known for their love eyewear range is designed After graduating they moved detachable, so you can pimp up
of quirky glasses, making their around three distinctive concepts to Paris, working on countless your glasses for a special event.
collaboration with Specsavers – patchwork story, sculptural catwalk shows, collections and And as laser-eye surgery and
a perfect fit. story and the evening story.” collaborations, later, like many contact lenses become more
The 16-piece optical and And all three concepts have fashion houses, moving from popular, Viktor and Rolf believe
three-piece sunglasses collection a connection to the Viktor&Rolf couture to fragrance. In 2005 glasses can still make a major
now in-store takes its inspiration brand values – unexpected they created Flowerbomb, fashion statement.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ALEXANDER SPORRE / GETTY IMAGES / WIREIMAGE

from the 1960s and highlights
this season’s key colours –
burgundy, bright yellow, silver
and gold – in acetates and
polished metals. The decision
to hark back to the 1960s was
an easy one to make, as both
designers love the sophistication
and boldness of that era with its
elaborate cat’s-eye shapes and
thick frames.
Viktor and Rolf, who are the
Ant and Dec of fashion, acting
as one and speaking for each
other, say, “The core of our
designs is inspired by the
concept of transformation.
We often use something familiar
and give it a surreal spin. This
elegance, conceptual glamour
and provocative couture.
“We think it’s a great challenge
to find the shape that fits you
best,” they say. “A good pair of
glasses can really enhance a face.”
Viktor and Rolf, both 50,
met while studying at Arnhem
Academy Of Art and Design.
They had grown up not far
from each other and their
childhoods were similar – both
were introverts who stayed in
sketching or reading. They were
happy in their own company and
still are, albeit with each other.
They dress and sound alike,
finish one another’s sentences
– and wear similar glasses.
a “fragrance that would make
the world a better place”, which
went on to become one of the
world’s best-selling perfumes.
Now these high-end skills
have been brought into play in
the Specsavers range, meaning
you can have designer looks
at an affordable price.
“We designed our eyewear
collection with the same approach
as all our creations and ‘the power
of transformation’ remains central,”
they say. “Something familiar is
infused with the unexpected, often
with a surrealistic approach.”
Like the glamorous specs
embellished with Swarovski
crystals. The jewels are
“Working on this collection
has been a great experience.
It has allowed us to push the
boundaries in optical trends, just
as we have always done for the
garments we create,” they say.
“Everyone in the Viktor & Rolf
Vision team is really excited to
release this collection and sees
this as the start of a wonderful
future for eyewear.” ● S
Viktor & Rolf glasses start at £169,
two pairs for the price of one. For
more, visit specsavers.co.uk.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 31

32 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 LIFESTYLE

A moment of calm
Take a deep breath. Here’s everything you need to know about
the benefits and practice of meditation Words by Melanie Hancill
regular meditation practice – without getting lost in them or

A
has been shown to reduce
levels of stress and
anxiety, improve sleep and
concentration, promote
kindness and self-awareness,
lower blood pressure and reduce
cognitive decline. But what exactly
is meditation, and how do you do it?
Yoga and meditation teacher Melanie
Hancill explains all…
It’s not about clearing the mind
The two most common things that
put people off meditation are the
belief that you have to sit and clear
the mind for hours at a time, and
that you have failed at the practice
if you get lost in thought.
But it’s important to understand
that we can’t completely empty
the mind of thoughts – our brains
are wired to think. Mindfulness
meditation is the practice of simply
noticing those thoughts as they
come along.
We start with the intention of
focusing on the breath, and when we
notice that the mind has wandered
off, we gently invite the awareness
back to the breath. Over time,
we become aware of the kind of
thoughts that come up for us
judging them as “good” or “bad”.
Practice makes perfect
If you’re new to meditation, it can
feel strange to sit and observe the
mind. A simple way of thinking about
meditation is that it is an exercise to
train the mind, a bit like how fitness
exercises train the body. The more
we do, the easier it will become.
Often, the mind begins to wander
after only one breath, but that’s OK.
In time, the moments of stillness
and calm between the thoughts
may become bigger, helping you
to feel more calm and focused.
How long should I meditate for?
Set small goals, such as meditating
for two minutes every morning. When
that feels OK, up the time to five, 10
or 20 minutes.
Guided meditation
1 Start by finding a comfortable seat.
Somewhere you can sit up tall –
either cross-legged on the floor or
in a chair. Close the eyes or soften
the gaze so you are not focusing
on anything in particular. Place the
hands with the palms down on the
tops of the thighs.
2 Take a moment to notice the
sensation of sitting – become aware
of the ground or chair beneath you,
and the parts of your body in contact
with them. Now bring your focus to
your hands, noticing the weight of
them on the thighs, and the feel of
the fabric of your clothes.
3 Now begin to notice how your
breath feels in your body as you
inhale and exhale. Make no effort
to change the breath, simply let
your natural breath flow in and out.
Perhaps you feel the belly or the
chest rising as you inhale and then
falling as you exhale. Or you notice
the cool sensation of the breath as
it enters the nose and goes down
the throat, and the sensation of the
warmed breath leaving the body as
you breathe out.
4 Aim to stay focussed on these
sensations of the breath, but when
you notice the mind wandering,
acknowledge the thought, then
come back to the breath again.
5 When you are ready to end your
practice, notice the sensations of
the ground beneath you, and slowly
open the eyes. ● S
For more information, visit
melanieroseyoga.co.uk.

Mindful moments throughout the day

You don’t always have to sit to meditate – you
can use everyday tasks as tools to drop into
the present moment. Try these…
● Washing your hands – see if you can pay
attention to the movement of the hands, the
sensation of the soap and water trickling off
them, and how the skin feels once you have
dried the hands.
● Walking up stairs – rather than seeing the action
as a means to an end (either getting to the top or
bottom of the stairs), notice the movement and
positioning of your feet on each step.
● Eating – we’re often busy on our phones or
chatting while we eat. Instead, notice how each
mouthful of food feels – the taste, sensation and
sound as you chew.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 33

 We are bombarded with
messages warning us
of its dangers, but fat is
among one of the most
misunderstood parts of
our bodies – and it
is essential to health
Words by Dr Mariëtte Boon and
Professor Liesbeth van Rossum
hen you hear the term “body

W fat”, you probably think

mainly about that little bulge
that starts to peek out over
the top of your jeans when
you’ve eaten too much during the holidays.
Or the fat on your backside that shows
dimpling when viewed in the wrong light
(in most women, anyway). Many people
have a love-hate relationship with body fat
– and in most cases it is hate that has the
upper hand.

This attitude is clearly reinforced by the
media. You can’t open a magazine without
encountering at least one article about diets,
weight loss or dietary supplements intended
to make us thinner – with minimum effort,
of course. We’re bombarded with success
stories and professional models gaze out
alluringly from the page. On television, too,
the message is clear: we all have to get
leaner, fitter and say goodbye to our body fat.
And so it’s not surprising that companies
put so much effort into selling remedies,
dietary supplements and gadgets such as
cooling vests (which circulate cold water) to
help us shed excess weight. Although these
are eagerly snapped up by consumers, the
results are often disappointing.
But, like everything else in our body, fat
is there for a reason, right? So what is fat,
what does it do and is it really as bad as
everyone claims?
Why we need fat
Until recently, we knew less about our fat
than about any other organ in the body. Yes,
fat is an organ, just like our heart and lungs.
For many years – centuries, even – it was
thought that fat was little more than a layer
of insulation, a blanket of blubber that
protects our internal organs from the cold
and from bumps and jolts. But nothing could
be further from the truth. Research on fat has
increased in recent years and has provided
Fat lot of
us with many new insights. If we medical
doctors and obesity researchers have learnt
anything over the past years, it’s that our fat
is not only one of the largest organs in the
body, and an important one, but it’s an
essential one. It provides our other organs
with a continuous supply of fuel if we haven’t
eaten in a while. Our ancestors needed this
to survive.
But fat does so much more. It produces
countless hormones and substances
it releases into the blood to allow it to
communicate remotely with other organs,
such as the brain. For example, it produces
hormones that curb your appetite if you’ve
just eaten a big plate of chips, so you don’t
keep eating endlessly. Handy, huh?
There are two sides to our body fat. As
long as it remains within reason in terms
of size, it will be your friend and keep you
healthy. But if you have too little or too much
fat, it can turn into a wicked stepsister. When
you’re underweight, your fat doesn’t produce
enough of certain important hormones, which
leads to a hormonal imbalance that can even
result in infertility.
And when you’re overweight, your fat releases
excessive amounts of unhealthy hormones and
other substances that interfere with all kinds
of bodily processes and can make you sick.
Conditions linked to overweight include Type
2 diabetes, infertility, depression and also some
kinds of cancer.
Are you overweight?
The word obesity comes from the Latin obesus
and literally means overeating. This term was
first documented in 1611.
Overweight and obesity are determined using
the ratio between your height and weight, which
is known as the body mass index (BMI).
Your BMI is calculated as your weight in
kilograms divided by the square of your height in
metres – and expressed in kg/m2. BMI is divided

34 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020


good
into the following categories for both men
and women:
Below 18.5 = underweight
18.5–24.9 = healthy weight
25–29.9 = overweight
30–34.9 = obesity (class i)
35–39.9 = obesity (class ii)
Over 40 = obesity (class iii) or morbid obesity
For people of South Asian descent, lower
thresholds apply because they are generally
more likely to develop complications such as
diabetes at a lower BMI.
Although BMI is a handy way to quickly
calculate whether a person is in the “safe
zone”, it can sometimes be misleading
such as in the case of a person who does
bodybuilding and has lots of muscle mass.
Since muscle is heavier than fat, such
a person can have a high BMI, even though
they have a healthy amount of body fat.
BMI tells us nothing about where the excess
body fat is located. Body fat in the belly,
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
HEALTH
Feel full faster
Some foods send your brain
a strong signal to let it know
you’re full. Eat these foods and
follow these recommendations
to feel full faster and for longer:
● Choose unprocessed food
products as often as possible.
These induce a normal decrease
of the hunger hormone ghrelin
and an earlier satiety signal – in
contrast to ultra-processed food
from the supermarket.
● Add an egg (contains lots of
protein), oatmeal (rich in fibre and
protein) or some unsalted nuts
(in addition to protein, they also
contain healthy unsaturated fatty
acids) to your breakfast so you feel
full until lunchtime.
● Try adding half an avocado or
some legumes (chickpeas, lentils
or beans) to your lunch.
● Have a cup of low-calorie soup
or a glass of water (preferably cold)
before meals.
● Try using fermented products
(pickled gherkins and sauerkraut)
and chilli powder (one teaspoon
with your meal) to stimulate
your metabolism.
● Since it takes an average of 20
minutes for your satiety hormones
GETTY IMAGES
to kick in, it helps to eat slowly and
chew your food for a long time. Pay
attention to how often you usually
chew (four times? Eight times?)
before swallowing your food and
around the organs, is more harmful than try doubling or tripling this.
subcutaneous body fat (just under the skin). ● Eat from a smaller plate (the
Measuring waist circumference will provide optical illusion helps you feel fuller)
an indication of this. In men, a circumference and with smaller utensils (this
greater than 37in (94cm) indicates overweight, helps you eat more slowly
and greater than 40in (102cm) obesity. In because there is less food per
women, a circumference greater than 31.5in bite). In this way, you’ll give your
(80cm) indicates overweight, and greater than body more time to produce the
34.5in (88cm) obesity. satiety signals. Ideally, portion out
We all know that diet and exercise play the food on to the plates in
a major role in maintaining a healthy weight, the kitchen or if you’re serving
but it can still be hard to refuse that dessert the food at the table make sure
of warm apple pie with cream at the end of it’s just enough so the aroma of
a meal. food in the pan doesn’t keep
Hopefully, the following tips will make it whetting your appetite.
easier for you to hold your own in a world ● Eat mindfully. In other words,
filled with tempting food. ● S not in front of the TV. Instead, use
your senses to alert your brain to
Fat: The Secret Organ (Quercus, the fact that food is coming in,
£16.99), by Mariëtte Boon and so your satiety system can be
Liesbeth van Rossum, is out now. activated on time.
See Express Bookshop, page 77.
35
 Jane O’Gorman
Our agony aunt gets to the heart of your relationship problems
What can we do to revive our marriage?
My wife and I have fallen out
of sync. Some weeks we
hardly see each other at all
and I feel like a rat in a wheel.
All I ever do is commute, work
and sleep. What’s the point?
Since giving up alcohol and
taking up yoga, my wife has
started getting up at 5am. I’m
delighted that she’s found
peace, but she now goes to
bed at 9pm. I work long hours
and sometimes only see her
Visiting my in-laws
causes huge rows
My husband insists we visit
his parents every Sunday
for lunch. Unfortunately, his
mother is the world’s worst
cook. She buys cheap food,
cooks the life out of it and
then piles it high. He begs me
not to insult her by leaving
scraps because she’s a proud
woman who tries her best,
but why should I put up with
it? This is leading to furious
arguments between us.
Be proactive. Tell your mother-in-
law that you feel guilty about
her doing all the work. Insist on
Sex matters
Women pay me for sex and I
hate myself. When I gave up
my job in IT I was confident
I could make a good living
as a personal trainer and my
girlfriend trusted me to pay
half of our bills. But things
didn’t work out. For the last
six months I’ve secretly
been on the books of an
escort agency. The money
is good but I’m dying
inside. How can I even
begin to tell her the truth?
The truth is bound to come
out and it’s imperative your
36
for 15 minutes before she
turns in. At weekends I enjoy
sport while she visits her
family and friends. We love
each other but there’s no
denying our worlds are apart.
You have to start making your
marriage a priority again. It’s
fantastic that your wife is enjoying
a new lifestyle, but you need
to start meeting in the middle.
Could you agree to ring fence
all day Saturday and a couple
getting there early and helping
out or bringing ready-made
dishes from your home. It could
be that she will be relieved
to have some support. The
alternative is that you invite her to
your house on alternate weeks
so that you only have to “endure”
two of her efforts a month. You’re
an adult so don’t hold back if
you’d prefer a smaller portion.
Explain that you eat a lot less
these days and abhor waste.
Why was my
boyfriend so hurtful?
Recently my boyfriend and I
were playing a drinking/party
girlfriend hears it from you.
At the moment you’re having
sex with other individuals
and, possibly, putting
her sexual health at risk.
You’re lying about your
whereabouts and making
yourself miserable. Tell her
you’ve messed up and ask
for a second chance. Sadly,
if she doesn’t decide to stick
with you, then you have to
reconsider your options
because this is no kind of
existence. Make a sexual
health check another priority.
of evenings in the week? Pencil
in special meals, date nights
and sex, if need be. If your daily
routine isn’t working, do you
need to review everything from
your career to your commute?
Be mindful of your energy and
limitations. Keep talking to her
about joint dreams and goals.
Is she happy with the way you
coexist? It could be that this is
the start of a completely new
way of life for both of you.
game with friends. We had to
write down five things about
another person around the
table, then everyone had to
guess who that person was.
The stuff he wrote about me
was so nasty, spiteful and
hurtful that I fled in tears.
Where do we go from here
when he’s still laughing off
my humiliation – and saying
that I “deserved it”?
Your boyfriend has some serious
explaining to do. If he genuinely
can’t stand you, then why is he
still around? He can’t insult you
in public and assume you can
carry on as before. Doesn’t he
care about your feelings? If he
Doctor, doctor
Dr Rosemary Leonard MBE is a GP with many years’
experience working in London’s top teaching hospitals
I clean my teeth twice a
day, but my dentist has told
me I have receding gums.
What can I do about this?
Receding gums can leave
teeth roots exposed and
susceptible to decay. They
can be caused by over
vigorous brushing with a hard
toothbrush. More commonly
they are caused by poor
dental hygiene, which allows
plaque to develop on your
JANE O’GORMAN’S
ADVICE LINES
Do you have a sexual or emotional
problem? Need to improve your
relationship or sex life? Call these new
phonelines for Jane O’Gorman’s
friendly, expert advice.
NEW! Super sex
✆ 0905 789 3410*
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✆ 0905 789 3412*
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believes you’re nasty and spiteful,
why didn’t he see fit to mention
it before? Why embarrass you
in front of others? I believe that
some time apart and a period of
reflection would suit you both.
Contact Jane at S Magazine, Second Floor,
Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN or email jane.
ogorman@express.co.uk. Jane regrets that
she cannot reply personally to your letters.
teeth. Really careful cleaning
can stop them shrinking more.
Use an electric toothbrush
with a circular head and a
disclosing tablet at least twice
a week to check you have
removed all the plaque.
Contact Dr Leonard at S Magazine,
PHOTOGRAPH: RCD1
Sunday Express, Second Floor, Northern
and Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN, or email dr.
leonard@express.co.uk. Dr Leonard
regrets that she cannot reply personally to
letters. Read her column every Tuesday in
the Daily Express.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
Acacia Hardwood
Bistro Set
ONLY £99.99 P&P £9.95
SAVE

£ 100 WAS £199.99

THEN £119.99

Add a touch of style to your garden or patio with portability, making it easy to store when not in use.
this three-piece Acacia hardwood bistro garden Table measures L70 x W70 x H73.5cm. Chairs G2856 Acacia Hardwood Bistro Set
set from Garden Gear. This set comes with two measures L40 x W50.5 x H82cm.
chairs and a round table, perfect for eating out on Please note that due to the weight of this
the patio or enjoying a glass of wine as the sun product, delivery will take between 5 and 7
goes down. It is made from durable, long-lasting days and is charged at £9.95. Due to courier

DEAL OF THE WEEK

Acacia hardwood which is also water-resistant. limitations we are unable to deliver this
Each piece has also been pre-treated with oil product outside mainland UK, to Scottish
to help prolong its life and enhance the natural Highlands, Isles or BFPO addresses.
appearance of the wood. The set is foldable for

CALL US ON 0871 664 2451* QUOTING 99884

OR VISIT SHOP.EXPRESS.CO.UK/G2856
*Calls cost 12ppm plus your phone company’s access charge. Lines open Mon-Sun 8am-8pm. These goods are sold and supplied by BVG group Ltd. Subject to availability. Postage quoted applies to mainland UK only. We will accept the return of faulty/unused goods
in original packaging for refund or replacement within 30 days. Return of unwanted goods is at customer’s expense. This does not affect your statutory rights. For customer service enquiries only please call 01874 612744 (local rate). To see how your data is processed
please visit: www.shop.xexpress.co.uk/privacy. The ‘was’ pricing refers to the original selling prices offered on cjoffers.co.uk, and in the retail store between 9th December 2019 and 8th March 2020.
 Victoria Gray’s best...

Lilac pom-pom cushion,

Lilac
£12, Next (next.co.uk)

Margo handmade rug, £150, Carmine & Teal

(carmineandteal.com) accessories
Brighten up your
home with these
pastel purchases
Lilac headphones,
£5, Primark
(01189 606300;
primark.com)

Ombre lilac tote bag with

fringe, £8.99, British Heart
Foundation (bhf.org.uk)

38 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

 Primavera lilac
plywood tray,
£39.99, Marimekko
(marimekko.com)

Drop wine glasses, £50

for a set of six, Amara
(amara.com)

Enamel hanging
planter in lilac,
£16, Bohemia
(bohemia
design.com)

Eichholtz Domaine
armchair, £944,
Sweetpea & Willow
(sweetpeaandwillow.com)
Magda pastel lilac large
glaze stoneware mug, £6,
Habitat (habitat.co.uk)

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 3

39
 Easter
creations

Brighten your home with stunning

seasonal floral decorations
Written and styled by Victoria Gray
Photographs by Clive Shalice

40 S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

 INTERIORS

Homemade wreath
You will need: Secure generous flowers. Cut the stems it firmly around the
handfuls of moss to the to lengths of about 5cm moss wreath.
● Willow ring – available from garden centres or
online at Amazon (amazon.co.uk) top of the wreath ring (2in). Now cut a 10cm
by tightly wrapping with (4in) length of green Thread a 30cm (12in)
● Moss – forage in your garden or buy it from
garden centres green florist wire. Finish florist wire and wrap it length of wire through
with a loop of wire for around the flowers, just the loop at the base of
● Florist wire
hanging the wreath up. below the heads, a speckled mini-egg
● Scissors
to form a little bunch. decoration and twist.
● Glue gun
Keep adding moss and
● Guinea fowl feathers – available from eBay
shop Feathers-From-Friends wrapping it securely Cut another piece of Push the twisted wire
with the wire until the floristry wire, about and egg decoration into
● Speckled mini-egg decorations – available
from Ella James (ellajames.co.uk) entire wreath is covered. 30cm (12in) in length. the wreath and secure.
Wrap the end of it
● Spring flowers – I used hellebores, grape
hyacinth, tête-à-tête daffodils and waxflower Take a few stems of around the little bunch Glue a guinea fowl
your chosen spring of flowers, then wrap feather to the egg.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 41

 SHOP

Home Front
These charming counted cross stitch kits
remind us of the joy of family and friends

FRIENDS SAMPLER: 26 x 19cm LY N 9 8 8

NEW
DESIGNS

MY FAMILY TREE 38cm x 30cm LY N 1 5 6 6

You’ll enjoy stitching these colourful counted cross stitch designs. All these kits are
stitched on 14 count Aida, and come complete with stranded and sorted cottons, needle,
LOVE SUNSHINE 24 x 24cm LY N 1 6 1 2
colour picture and full instructions.
Please Send Me Qty Price Total

LYN1566 My Family Tree Kit £24.99

LYN988 Friends Sampler Kit £19.99

LYN1612 Love Sunshine Kit £19.99

LYN1395 Home Sweet Home Kit £24.99

LYN1512 Heart Bouquet Kit £19.99

Postage & packing £3.99

Grand Total

I enclose a cheque/PO for £ made payableF F F. F F

to Lyncroft Marketing Services. Please write your name and
address on the back of your cheque.
Card no
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HOME SWEET HOME 26 x 25 cm LY N 1 3 9 5 HEART BOUQUET 25 x 23cm LY N 1 5 1 2 Mr Mrs Ms First name .........................................................................
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ORDERLINE 0871 664 1450 QUOTING EXS123 Surname .........................................................................................................................
Address ...........................................................................................................................
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Order by post to: Express Offer EXS123, PO Box 998, Aylesbury, HP22 9LE ..............................................................................................................................................
Please make cheques payable to Lyncroft Marketing Services. Next working day delivery charged at
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Services (Reg 3500918) PO Box 998, Aylesbury, HP22 9LE (‘Lyncroft’). Allow up to 7 days for delivery. If not fully satisfied,
return within 14 days for full refund/replacement. *Calls cost 12p per minute plus your network extras. See Lyncroft’s If you prefer to receive information and offers from organisations carefully
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any of Reach’s publications please state when ordering.
 INTERIORS

Eggshell place setting

You will need: Make a small hole in the base Take a few stems of your chosen
● Hens’ eggs of the egg. I found a corkscrew spring flowers. Cut the stems,
● Egg cup was perfect for this job. leaving them about 3cm (1¼in)
● Spring flowers long. Now cut a piece of florist
– I’ve used Drain the yolk and egg white wire – about 10cm (4in) in length
tête-à-tête and gently wash the interior – and wrap it tightly around the
daffodils, with warm, soapy water. (The flowers, just below the heads,
grape egg yolk and white will keep to form a little bunch.
hyacinth, in the fridge for two days.)
waxflower Pour fresh, cold water into
and violas Enlarge the hole to about the size the eggshell until it is about
● Corkscrew of a 50 pence coin by carefully three-quarters full. Now simply
● Florist wire cracking off small pieces of shell place the pre-wired little bunch
with your fingers. of flowers into the hole.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 43

 Mild at heart
Spicy hot chicken wings
Serves: 4
Preparation time: 30 minutes
PHOTOGRAPHS BY KRIS KIRKHAM
Cooking time: 1 hour,
25 minutes
For the base curry sauce
(about 3 litres):
1kg (2lb 4oz) or about 7 onions
2 tbsps rapeseed oil
½ tsp salt
1 litre (1¾ pints) water or chicken
or vegetable stock
44
100g (3½oz) carrots, peeled
and chopped
60g (2oz) cabbage, chopped
½ red bell pepper, diced
½ green bell pepper, diced
8 garlic cloves
5cm (2in) piece of ginger, peeled
and roughly chopped
200g (7oz) tinned chopped
tomatoes
1½ tbsps garam masala
1½ tbsps ground cumin
Your family will love these
lightly spiced Indian dishes
Compiled by Victoria Gray
1½ tbsps ground coriander
1½ tbsps paprika
1 tbsp ground fenugreek
½ tbsp ground turmeric
For the chicken wings:
1 tbsp rapeseed oil
1 tbsp garlic and ginger paste
½ tbsp curry powder
½ tbsp garam masala
1 tsp Carolina chilli powder
(more or less, to taste)
1 tbsp tomato purée
1 tbsp sugar or honey
100ml (3½fl oz) base curry sauce
12 chicken wings, skinned
Juice of 1 lime
Pinch of dried fenugreek leaves
Salt, to taste
1 tbsp finely chopped coriander
● To make the curry sauce, finely
slice the onions by hand or in a
food processor.
● Heat the oil in a large stockpot
and fry the onions for about 5
minutes until they are soft and
fragrant, stirring well until evenly
coated in the oil.
● Add the other ingredients up to
and including the tinned tomatoes.
Cover the pot and simmer over a
medium heat for about 1 hour. The
vegetables will become soft and
the stock should reduce by
about half, but this can vary.
● Add the ground spices and
simmer for a further 5 minutes.
● Using either a stick blender or
a stand blender, blend until the
sauce is very smooth – you
shouldn’t see any chunks.
● To make the chicken wings,
heat the oil in a frying pan over
a medium-high heat until it is
really hot.
● Add the garlic and ginger
paste and fry for 30 seconds.
Stir in the curry powder,
garam masala, chilli powder,
tomato purée and sugar
or honey.
● Give it all a good stir, then
add the base sauce and
bring to the boil.
● Reduce the heat a little,
add the chicken wings and
allow them to cook in the
simmering sauce for about
7 minutes or until they are
cooked through.
● If you need to add a little more
base sauce or water to cook the
chicken through, do so.
● To finish, squeeze the lime
juice over the top and sprinkle
with the dried fenugreek leaves.
● Check for seasoning. Sprinkle
with the coriander and serve.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 FOOD
Stuffed papadum
cones
Makes: 8
Preparation time:
10 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
3 medium tomatoes
½ onion, finely chopped
2 green chillies, finely
chopped (more or less,
to taste)
3 tbsps cooked sweetcorn
(colourful, but optional)
1 tbsp finely chopped
coriander)
½-1 tsp chaat masala
(optional)
Salt, to taste
Juice of 1 lime
4 papads, cut in half with
scissors or a sharp knife
● Quarter the tomatoes and
remove the seeds so you are
left with tomato petals with
most of the excess juice
removed. Dice finely and
place in a bowl with the
remaining ingredients up to
and including the lime juice.
Mix well. Remember that
chaat masala (if using) has
black salt in it, so this should
be considered when
seasoning with salt.
● Place the chutney in the
fridge while you make the
papad cones.
● Heat a dry frying pan over
a medium heat and place
one of the papad halves in it.
Cook for about 15 seconds
until it begins to cook
through. Use a clean tea
towel to press the papad
half down so it cooks evenly.
Flip it over and cook the
other side. Repeat by
turning again and again until
the papad is cooked through
and small bubbles appear.
● The cut side of the
papad will become the top
of the cone. While the papad
is still hot, roll it into a cone
shape and hold the seam for
a few seconds until it keeps
the shape of its own
accord. Repeat with
the remaining papads.
● To serve, fill each cone with
the prepared tomato chutney
and serve immediately.

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 45


Red lentil and tomato dhal
Serves: Up to 8
Preparation time: 10 minutes, plus
soaking time
Cooking time: 25 minutes
2 tbsps rapeseed oil or coconut oil
1 tsp black mustard seeds
½ tsp cumin seeds
7 fresh or frozen curry leaves
2 medium onions, finely chopped
2 medium tomatoes, diced
2-3 green bird’s eye chillies, sliced
down the middle
2 tbsps garlic and ginger paste
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp Kashmiri chilli powder (more or
less, to taste)
3 tbsps tomato purée
300g (10½oz) dried red split lentils,
rinsed and soaked for 30 minutes
in fresh water
1.2 litres (2 pints) water
Salt, to taste
2 tbsps finely chopped coriander
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46
Baked onion bhajis
Makes: 20 1½ tbsps rapeseed oil
Preparation time: Chutney or raita of your
10 minutes, plus choice, to serve
resting time ● Peel and finely slice the
Cooking time: onions. Cut each slice
35-45 minutes into 3cm (1¼in) pieces.
3 large onions, about ● Place the onions in a
600g (1lb 5oz) bowl and sprinkle with
1 tsp fine sea salt the salt, mixing very well
1 tsp cumin seeds with your hands. Allow to
2.5cm (1in) piece of sit for at least 30 minutes
ginger, peeled and or up to 3 hours.
julienned ● When ready to form
¼ tsp ground turmeric the bhajis, squeeze the
¾ tsp ground coriander onions with your hands to
3 tbsps finely chopped release the water into the
coriander bowl. Add the remaining
2 green bird’s eye chillies, ingredients, up to and
finely chopped including
¼ tsp Kashmiri chilli the
powder
● Heat the oil in a large saucepan 100g (3½oz) chickpea
over a high heat. When visibly hot, flour
stir in the mustard seeds.
● When the mustard seeds begin
to pop (after about 30 seconds),
reduce the temperature to medium-
high and add the cumin seeds and
curry leaves.
● Temper for 30 seconds, or until
fragrant, then add the onions and
fry for about 5 minutes, until they are
soft and translucent.
● Add the tomatoes, green chillies,
garlic and ginger paste, ground
turmeric, Kashmiri chilli powder and
tomato purée and give it all a good
stir to combine.
● Tip in the lentils and cover with
the water. Bring to a simmer and
cook for 15-20 minutes, or until the
lentils are soft and you are happy
with the consistency.
● Season with salt and garnish with
the coriander to serve.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

chilli powder, to the bowl
and give everything
a good stir.
● Now sift the chickpea
flour over the onion
mixture and mix well.
There should be enough
water released from the
salted onions to form
a batter that sticks the
onions together – as you
would expect a bhaji to. If
too dry, you could add a
drop of water, but I have
never found this to be
necessary. If you add too
much water, just sift in
a little more flour.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
FOOD
● Mix in the oil with your
hands so the onions are
evenly coated.
● Preheat the oven to
200°C/400°F/gas 6 and
put a sheet of parchment
paper on a baking tray
(do not use foil as the
bhajis will stick to it).
● Using a spoon or your
hands, make 20 equal-
sized onion balls and
place them on the
parchment paper. Bake
for about 40 minutes or
until nicely browned.
Ovens vary, so check the Seafood
bhajis from time to time. thenga
● Serve with a good paal soup
chutney and/or raita. Serves: 2
Preparation time:
15 minutes
Cooking time:
45 minutes
500g (1lb 2oz) fish
bones from non-oily
fish such as bream,
bass or halibut
3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
2.5cm (1in) piece of ginger,
peeled and julienned
1 medium onion, sliced
10 fresh or frozen curry leaves
1 tomato, sliced
2 litres (2½ pints) of water
2 tbsps rapeseed oil or coconut oil and give it a good stir to combine.
150g (5½oz) minced seafood (choose Add the reduced fish stock.
a good selection of meaty fish, ● Bring back to the boil, then add
such as prawns, cod and halibut) the coconut (if using). Reduce the
½ tsp ground turmeric heat so the soup is just simmering
10g (¼oz) tender fresh coconut, cut and stir in the coconut milk. Season
into small cubes (optional) with salt and add the lemon juice. Stir
80ml (3fl oz) light coconut milk in the tamarind paste or concentrate
Salt, to taste and black pepper.
Juice of ½ lemon ● Pour into two warmed bowls and
1½ tbsps tamarind paste or sprinkle with coriander to serve. ●
S
concentrate (more or less, to taste)
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper For your copy of The Curry Guy
2 tbsps finely chopped coriander Light: Over 100 Lighter, Fresher
● Place the fish bones in a large Indian Curry Classics by Dan
saucepan and add the garlic, ginger, Toombs (Quadrille,
onion, curry leaves and tomato. £15), call the Express
● Cover with the water and bring to Bookshop on 01872
a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer 562310 or order
for 30-40 minutes until the water has online at expressbook
reduced to about ½ litre (10½fl oz). shop.co.uk. UK
● Strain the fish stock through delivery is free.
a fine-mesh sieve and set aside. Please note: the
● In a separate saucepan, heat the Bookshop no longer
oil over a medium-high heat and stir accepts cheques
in the seafood. Add the turmeric or postal orders.
47
Culdelights
inary
Nush has launched the UK’s
first dairy-free, soya-free
cheese made from almond
milk. Soft and spreadable,
it’s made from European
almonds and is fortified
with live probiotic cultures,
which are aged with the
almond milk during the
artisan production
process. Priced at £2.47
for a 150g pot, Dairy Free
Almond Milk Cheese is
available at Marks &
Spencer (marksand
spencer.com) stores.
Tried & tasted
Finest Smooth 100%
Orange Juice Freshly
Squeezed, £2 for 1 litre,
Tesco (tesco.com)
A smooth, easy-drinking
orange juice. The flavour is
sweet and tart with a hint
of bitterness.
Smooth Fresh Orange
Juice, £1.30 for 1 litre,
Morrisons (groceries.
morrisons.com)
A natural-tasting orange juice.
Sweet with a well-balanced
sharpness but it is a little on
the thin side.
48
Edited by Victoria Gray
Pollenade is a fresh and fruity botanical,
CBD-infused soft drink. Each can contains
15mg of water-soluble CBD, which is
derived from broad-spectrum hemp oil
and is blended with
grapefruit, raspberry
and lemon juice
for a citrussy taste.
It makes a great
alternative to coffee
or for those in need
of a mid-afternoon
boost. It costs £18
for a six pack
of 330ml cans
from Pollen (uk.
withpollen.com).
Start your day the right way with
Kellogg’s new All-Bran Prebiotic Oaty
Clusters. Made with
prebiotic fibre, to aid
gut health, the cereal
has oaty clusters with
almond and pumpkin
seeds and includes
Microplane’s new EcoGrate collection features natural prebiotic
its signature, long-lasting, stainless steel, clog- chicory root and
free blades. This eco-friendly range has frames wheat bran fibre,
and handles that are crafted in a bamboo fibre, which feed good
made from sustainable, organically grown Moso bacteria in the gut and
bamboo and polypropylene resin that’s produced nourish gut microbiota.
with a lower carbon footprint than plastic. It’s available from all
They are free from BPA, melamine, PVC and major supermarkets
phthalates. Prices start at £16.99, available with an rrp of £2.99
exclusively from Lakeland (lakeland.co.uk). for a 380g box.
Start the day with a refreshing glass of OJ
Taste The Difference
Freshly Squeezed Orange
Juice With Bits, £2.50
910
710
for 1 litre, Sainsbury’s
(sainsburys.co.uk)
Sweet with a lovely fresh, ripe
orange aroma and taste but it
lacks a little sharpness.
Irresistible 100% Freshly
Squeezed Orange Juice,
£2.95 for 1 litre, Co-op
(coop.co.uk)
A fresh, sweet-tasting orange
710
juice with a wonderfully citrus
810
tang. It is smooth with a
decent amount of pulp.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
 DRINKS

Jamie Goode
If you like dark beer, you’ll love these deliciously moreish stouts and porters
ow dark do you London Beer Factory

H
Hook Norton Double In the mouth, though, it’s much
like your beer? The Big Milk Stout, England Stout, Oxfordshire drier with lively, bright toffee and
darkest beers – £3, Tesco, 7.5% alcohol £1.79, Waitrose, 4.8% alcohol treacle as well as some green
stouts and porters This describes itself as a vanilla From the Cotswolds, this herb and earth notes. There’s a
– can be so dark and cacao nib imperial stout. double stout is made with both pleasant bitterness here and it’s
brown in colour they are almost It’s very dark and has gorgeous, black and brown malt, giving it very drinkable.
black. Technically, these are two intense flavours of malt and an intense colour. It’s powerful,
separate classes of beer. The treacle, but with some vanilla with a roast coffee edge to the Guinness Original
barley used to make porters and chocolate softness around rich tar and treacle flavours Extra Stout, Ireland
is darkly malted, whereas for the edges and on the finish. and finishing bright with a £1.75, Morrisons, 4.2% alcohol
stouts it is roasted. But this The aftertaste is all about pleasant bitterness. Brewed in Dublin, this
is a technicality. In reality, in sweet vanilla. brown-black stout has lovely
this modern age of craft beer Black Sheep Brewery balance, with a nutty edge
and experimentation, the two Anspach & Hobday Milk Stout, Yorkshire to the rich chocolate, treacle
categories have more or less The Brother Sean 2018 £1.70, Tesco, 4.4% alcohol and herb notes. It’s not at all
merged. So say cheers to Belgian Stout, London Deep brown in colour – almost heavy and although it has a
seven deliciously dark beers. £8.95 for 750ml, thewinesociety. k, in
black, lot of flavour, it’s easy to drink.
com, 9.1% alcohol fact – this A true classic.
c ●
S
Magic Rock Dark Arts Brewed with a saison yeast has a
Surreal Stout, England (commonly used in Belgian sweetet
£1.80, Tesco, 6% alcohol beers), this is rich and complex aroma a
This is crunchy, intense, with a sweet, spicy edge to of herbs
rbs
powerful and savoury. With the rounded malt and milk and
black chocolate, iron and blood chocolate tones, suggestions toffee.
e.
notes, it has a dense, malty of toffee, raisin and yeast
core with charred wood hints, and some sourdough
while a savoury, slight smoked and smoked meat
meat character adds interest. flavours. Amazing.

The Wild Beer Co Millionaire re

Salted Caramel + Chocolate e
+ Milk Stout, Somerset
£2.19, Waitrose, 4.7% alcoholl
A darkly coloured beer, this
combines the usual roast
malt, caramel and iron
flavours of stout with richer
toffee and chocolate tones.
There’s richness and depth
here, but it isn’t overly sweet
and it stays fresh to the end.

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S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 49

 Alan Titchmarsh
C
limbers are a great
asset to any garden
but you do need to
match the plant to
the plot. Problems
arise when people put climbers
and wall-trained shrubs in sites
that don’t suit them or if they fail
to prepare the site properly. For
best results it’s vital to get the
groundwork right.
Climbers on walls
The soil at the foot of a wall is
usually dry and poor because of
the foundations and the umbrella
effect caused by the structure
deflecting rain away from the
building. Common side-effects
of this are stunted growth, poor
flowering and regular outbreaks
of mildew. So before planting
any climber or wall shrub, dig
a large hole and work in lots of
well-rotted organic matter. If you
are planting an especially large or
50
The only
way is up Climbers and ramblers
give structure to a garden,
says Alan, but only if they
get a good start in life
greedy climber, such as a rose,
wisteria, grapevine (including
ornamental kinds) or a fan or
espalier-trained fruit tree,
excavate a good-sized trench
along the base of the wall and
fill it with compost to provide
a good rooting area.
Position wall nails, trellises
or netting to attach the plant to.
Avoid planting climbers such as
Virginia creeper or ivy against
house walls since they hold on
using suckers, twining tendrils or
aerial roots, which can damage
mortar and cause damp.
Growing climbers up
through trees or large shrubs
ALAMY / GETTY IMAGES
Many large, vigorous climbers,
as well as some tamer ones, look
very effective when allowed to
scramble up through trees or Climbing wisteria
shrubs. And as a bonus there’s makes a magnificent
no need to prune plants like summer display
rambler roses and wisteria – just
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

leave them to spread. But don’t
plant large climbers through
slow-growing, or even smallish,
trees, as a strong climber can kill
its support by depriving it of light.
Neither should you plant the
climber at the foot of the host
tree or shrub, where it’s dark and
dry and lacking in nutrients.
Instead, plant at the edge of
the “drip-zone” just below the
furthest extent of the canopy of
leaves. Dig a large planting hole,
two or three times the size of the
rootball, before working in several
bucketfuls of well-rotted organic
matter and a double handful of
general fertiliser, such as blood,
bone and fishmeal, then plant.
Lean a pole or drape a long
piece of rope from the base of
the climber up into the tree or
shrub. Wind the climbing plant
around this to lead it up into the
lower branches – don’t expect
it to find its way on its own.
Once it reaches the nearby
branches it will keep going without
any extra help – but make sure
you keep the climber regularly
watered until it’s well-established
and feed it regularly, as the
support plant will compete with
it for food and water.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
Growing climbers over arches,
pillars, pergolas and obelisks
What to do in
Choose climbers whose eventual
size is in proportion to that of
the garden
the structure. Prepare a planting
hole on the shadier side of the
structure, as the plant will grow
towards the light. If planted on
the brightest side it will tend to
fall away.
After planting, untie the stems
from their cane and spread them
out over the base of the upright
another week or two
supports, then tie them loosely
in place so the plant gives good
coverage.
As climbers grow, spiral
cutting of an upright
them up around the supporting
fuchsia. Don’t nip out
structure. This encourages them
the growing tip – tie
to produce sideshoots that carry
flowers right from the base of
the plant, besides covering the
support better. It is essential to
treat climbing roses and ramblers
in this way, otherwise all their
flowers will be produced at the
top of the plant, leaving long,
bare, leggy stems at the base.
compost in tubs for
If you already have this
problem, plant a selection of
contrasting perennials of the
correct height around the base,
potting up is needed.
and you’ll soon find these cover
up the bare stems. ● S
GARDENS
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A blue star plant
grows against
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51
 Top fives
Fiction
1. The Mirror And The Light
by Hilary Mantel
(Fourth Estate, £25)
2. A Village Scandal
by Dilly Court
(HarperCollins, £7.99)
3. One Good Deed
by David Baldacci
(Pan, £8.99)
4. The Boy, The Mole, The
Fox And The Horse
by Charlie Mackesy
(Ebury, £16.99)
5. You’ll Never See Me Again
by Lesley Pearse
(Penguin, £7.99)
Non-fiction
1. Pinch Of Nom:
Everyday Light
by Kay Featherstone &
Kate Allinson (Bluebird, £20)
2. Invisible Women
by Caroline Criado Perez
(Vintage, £9.99)
3. Pinch Of Nom
by Kay Featherstone &
Kate Allinson (Bluebird, £20)
4. Brief Answers To The
Big Questions
by Stephen Hawking
(John Murray, £8.99)
5. Mrs Hinch: The Activity
Journal by Mrs Hinch
(Michael Joseph, £12.99)
Children’s
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1. Supertato: Books Are
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2. Kid Normal And The
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James & Chris Smith
(Bloomsbury, £1*)
3. Dog Man: Three Stories In
One by Dav Pilkey
(Scholastic, £1*)
4. The Day We Met The Queen
by Onjali Rauf (Orion, £1*)
5. Evie In The Jungle
by Matt Haig & Emily Gravett
(Canongate, £1*)
52
Charlotte
Heathcote
If books
could kil
Jake Kerridge reviews the
best new murder mysteries
Keeper ****
by Jessica Moor (Viking, £14.99)
Certain crimes go in and out of fashion in
the same way haircuts and handbags do. At
the moment, domestic abuse and coercive
control are being taken more seriously by
our lawmakers than they were in the past
and, with reader interest piqued, the trickle
of crime novels on the subject is rapidly
turning into a flood.
Jessica Moor’s debut novel begins
with a young woman called Katie meeting
a man called Jamie at a bar, being drawn
towards him as inexorably as the Titanic
to the iceberg and with similarly deadly
consequences. The book charts the progress
of their relationship as Jamie evolves from
charmingly over-protective boyfriend to
psychological – and later physical – bully.
This narrative alternates with an account
of the investigation into the drowning of a
mysterious young woman, also called Katie,
who worked at a refuge for domestic violence
victims. Old-school copper DS Whitworth
thinks it was suicide. But the women Katie
helped at the refuge know that in a world
in which male violence against women
is commonplace, murder is the likelier
explanation. Novels that show how
a confident, intelligent woman can fall
under a violent man’s malign spell are already
becoming fairly commonplace. But Moor
varies the formula cleverly enough to give
it a fresh tang of tragedy.
Some of the characters are two-
dimensional: DS Whitworth could have
fulfilled the role of the man who doesn’t
appreciate how dangerous the world is for
women without being quite such a dinosaur.
But the story is paced with maximum skill
to bring out its horror, and the novel boasts
a dry wit and stylish prose – it’s a sobering
and sometimes upsetting book but it’s also
a pleasure to read.
Rules For Perfect Murders ****
by Peter Swanson (Faber, £12.99)
Back in the good old days, crime writers
took the trouble to devise fiendishly
complicated murder plots that were
absolutely foolproof – apart from the one
small detail that the detective would seize
on to unravel the whole mystery.
Today’s crime writers don’t tend to go in
for that sort of intricate plotting, making life
easier for them but less fun for readers. So
hooray for Peter Swanson who, in his sixth
novel, pays tribute to those old-fashioned
writers who sweated to plot the perfect
murder. The book is narrated by Malcolm
Kershaw, the socially awkward co-owner
of a bookshop in New England. Malcolm is
a compulsive list maker and some years ago
wrote a blog post entitled “My Eight Favourite
Murders”, nominating mystery novels by
writers ranging from Agatha Christie to
Patricia Highsmith in which the killers came
closest to getting away with their carefully
thought-out crimes.
But now FBI agent Gwen Mulvey needs
Malcolm’s help as she thinks a serial killer
is using his list as inspiration for a string of
murders. The recently widowed Malcolm has
his own secrets to keep and has to juggle
aiding the investigation with keeping himself
out of trouble.
It’s a rare book that is both a mercilessly
gripping story and a thoughtful and
illuminating work of literary criticism. But
Swanson pulls it off in this fine homage to
those writers who worked out mystery plots
with the sort of scientific precision that,
applied to a different field, might have won
them a Nobel Prize.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020

To Kill A Man ****
by Sam Bourne (Quercus, £14.99)
Sam Bourne has set himself the toughest of
challenges: to write enjoyable thrillers set in
the world of American politics that are even
more gripping, melodramatic and far-fetched
than the current reality.
He more or less managed it in his recent
novels To Kill The President and To Kill The
Truth. Now his regular heroine, political
troubleshooter Maggie Costello, returns to
investigate another unlikely but entertaining
mystery. The book begins with beauteous
brainbox Natasha Winthrop, a Supreme
Court clerk expected to put herself forward
as a candidate for President of the United
States, being sexually assaulted at her home
by a masked intruder. She bashes the man
on the noggin with a handy bust of Cicero
and kills him.
Having made enemies of the police in her
work as a lawyer, Natasha fears that they will
do everything they can to get her sent down
for murder. So who would she turn to for help
but Maggie Costello? Maggie falls under her
spell but, although Natasha would make
a perfect president, Maggie’s investigation
uncovers some skeletons in her closet.
Sam Bourne is a pseudonym for leading
political journalist Jonathan Freedland and I
never finish one of his thrillers without feeling
better informed about the world. Some of
his books seem so preoccupied with ideas
that prose and characterisation are unduly
neglected but he’s got the mixture dead
right with this one – a thrilling and involving
mystery that provides a masterclass on
American politics, but also has a real human
story at its heart.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020
BOOKS
Magical mysteries
Four reads to keep you on the edge of
1. Name
your seat, reviewed by Jake Kerridge
Author
The Second Wife The Recovery Of (Publisher, price)
by Rebecca Fleet Rose Gold 2. Name
(Doubleday, £16.99) by Stephanie Wrobel Author
Fleet’s second thriller, which (Michael Joseph, £12.99) (Publisher, price)
follows the highly acclaimed Wrobel’s claustrophobic
The House Swap, begins debut explores the sinister
with Alex Carmichael subject of parents who
returning home one evening deliberately make their
to find his house in flames. children ill. Rose Gold was
His teenage daughter, Jade, regularly poisoned by her
reports seeing a strange man mother Patty when she was
in the house shortly before a girl, so she astonishes the
the fire started but Alex’s neighbours in her small town
new wife, Natalie, insists by inviting Patty to move in
that she’s wrong. Thanks to with her upon her release
Fleet’s sly storytelling skills, from prison. But is an even
your head will soon be more wicked crime afoot?
pleasurably swimming as Find out who’s manipulating
you try to work out who is who in this clever, though
telling the truth. uneven, chiller.
Keep Him Close Containment
by Emily Koch by Vanda Symon
(Harvill Secker, £12.99) (Orenda, £8.99)
Koch’s second book is If you fancy a police
a perfect Mother’s Day read procedural series set
as it proves that in a crisis somewhere a bit more exotic
there’s nobody like good old than the usual drizzly urban
Mum for saving the day. Art British settings, try Symon’s
therapist Indigo is horrified enjoyable series about New
when her son confesses to Zealand cop Sam Shepherd.
killing another teenage boy In her third outing, Sam
and she joins forces with the investigates the thefts and
dead boy’s mother, buttoned- murders that result from
up librarian Alice, to find out a container ship running
what really happened. This aground on her patch, while
subtle novel is more moving trying to prove her worth to
than thrilling. her male colleagues.
To buy these books, see Bookshop on page 77
Save £5 off Surviving Hell by Nick Dunn (rrp £18.99) with offer code XA9
Call 01256 302 699 or order online at mirrorbooks.co.uk (free P&P
on orders over £15)
Former British soldier Nick Dunn was caught up in one of the biggest
miscarriages of justice in the modern era. Arrested and imprisoned in India,
the “Chennai Six” weren’t just innocent of any crime – there was no crime.
Stationed on an anti-piracy ship to protect vessels against Somali pirates,
MEGAN BRAMLEY
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Chennai prison. This is his exclusive story of endurance and survival.
53

The Matchmaker
T
he message appeared just as the
bus rounded a corner and juddered
down a steep, wooded road. “We’ll
be alone.” Emma tucked the phone
into her pocket and stared through
the smeary window. Bare-branched trees
bucked in the wind beneath a sky that
bulged with rain. She twisted the ring on
her middle finger and wondered for the
hundredth time that day why she’d come.
Back in London it had seemed so right.
When David made contact through the
agency she’d been swept away. Now that
she was here on Exmoor, heading to the
remote village where he’d told her he lived
with his family, she was beginning to think
she’d made a terrible mistake.
She rested her forehead on the glass.
Breath misted the view as the first fat
raindrops splattered on the pane. It wasn’t
too late to back out. The bus went on to
Minehead, she could stay onboard and
send an apology, couldn’t she?
The phone buzzed in her pocket. Emma
read the new text.
“I know how you must be feeling now.”
It was as if he’d read her mind. She
covered the screen with her hand. What if
it didn’t work out? Another knot of sadness
to add to her string of sorrows.
The death of her much-loved father three
years ago had been devastating. In different
ways, Emma and her mother, Greta, were
still navigating the ocean of loss. Being an
only child magnified everything.
And it was almost exactly a year to the day
since Callum had left. The end hadn’t been
dramatic or sudden, more a gradual blurring
like the effect of the rain on the window. After
a decade together they’d simply drifted so
far apart that they couldn’t see each other
© KATE GRIFFIN 2020 / ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES
clearly any more. It was the right thing to do,
they’d agreed, but – just for a while – Callum
had filled a void.
Light bloomed through her fingers. The
phone buzzed: David again.
“Can’t believe this is really happening.”
At the bottom of the hill the bus grated to
a halt at the centre of a small village. Two
elderly women made their way to the door.
One of them tapped on the driver’s plastic
grille. “See you next week, Tony.”
“That you will.”
He lowered the step to allow them to
shuffle on to the street with their shopping.
Once they were safely on their way, he called
S MAGAZINE
AGAZINE
NE
E ★ 29
2 MA
MARCH
ARCH 2020
20
through the open door. “Bye, Connie. Bye,
Dol. You two take care, now.”
The bus started off again and chuntered
past the women, who were now grappling
with trollies and umbrellas. It circled a stone
war memorial and headed past a pub called
The Hope. Thatched cottages, humped and
irregular, lined each side of the road.
As the bus passed the last in the shaggy
row, the driver slowed down and tapped on
the window to greet a man walking a dog.
Emma thought about the easy familiarity.
In small rural communities everyone knew
everyone. She wondered if the driver knew
David. Her stomach flipped.
Emails had been so easy. For the
past three weeks, they’d “talked”
many times, filling in the gaps and
tentatively exploring the future. Then,
four days ago, he’d called. David’s
voice had a faint, unexpected West
Country burr. Their conversation
lasted two hours. Before hanging
up, he said it felt as if they’d
known each other all their lives.
The bus stopped again. The
engine throbbed as “Tony”
leaned out of his cubby hole
and waved at her. “This is
White Cross. You said to set
you off here.”
Emma swallowed.
She stood up, grabbed
her bag and peered
through the streaming
windows. White
Cross seemed to
be nothing more
than a clump of
trees. As the door
wheezed open,
she turned to
him. “Do you know
this area?”
He nodded. “My brother
lives in the last village.”
“I’m looking for
Burntwood Cottages.”
The phone
vibrated again.
“There’s a
lane just back
there.” The
driver
FICTION
Short story by Kate Griffin
pointed. “That’s where the cottages are, six
of them packed tight.”
“Thanks.” Emma stepped down to the
road and watched the bus pull away. The
glow of its rear lights faded into the pulsing
wall of rain. There was no going back now.
She pulled up the hood of her jacket and
checked the phone. “Good luck love x.”
Greta’s pale grey eyes had filled with worry
and something like reproach when Emma
told her about the agency, and about David.
At the time she’d felt guilty. The message
was a blessing at just the right moment.
Swinging the bag to her shoulder, she set
off down the lane. As the driver said,
the cottages were clustered
together. A dripping holly bush
framed the red door of number
three. Emma pushed at the gate.
Suddenly, she couldn’t move.
The door opened. A man was
silhouetted against golden light
spilling out from the hallway. He too
seemed frozen for a second, but then he
loped up the path and folded her in his
arms. He smelt of wood fire, citrus and
something she recognised in a way that
made her catch her breath. They stood
wrapped together for a long time and
then he drew back. Emma looked into
a version of the face that had stared
back at her from the mirror for 34
years; the brown eyes, freckled
caramel skin, generous mouth and
dimpled chin were a masculine
match for her own.
“Wow.” David smiled, ran a
hand through unruly black hair
that was all too familiar and
pointed at the door. “Let’s get
out of the rain. There’s tea or
coffee or, if you prefer, Franny
left some champagne in the
fridge. She’s taken the kids
out for the afternoon to give
us some space. They’re
so excited to meet you,
Emma, they’re twins, too. It
must run in our family.” ●
S
Kate Griffin’s latest novel,
Kitty Peck And The
Parliament Of Shadows
(Faber, £8.99), is out
now. See Express
Bookshop on page 77.
55
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“THIS is one
of my favourite
photographs
of The Rats,
retrospectively.
It was taken in
1976 and is full
of the attitude
of the band at
the time. I thought we looked cr*p,
but I don’t think we do in this
picture. It’s of its moment.
Getting to No.1 with Rat Trap
two years later was unbelievable
and incendiary. We’d had five hits
in a row and each one stepped
up, but the charts were blocked
by Olivia Newton-John and John
Travolta with that rubbish from
Grease. We were the laxative
that cleared the blockage of the
constipated charts. From this
picture to the first Irish, Rats
and New Wave No.1, it’d been
a steady climb.
Prior to this picture I’d been
working in an abattoir. I’d written
Rat Trap about the people
I was working with and the
hopelessness of their situation. It
wasn’t just an abattoir of animals,
it was a slaughterhouse of
dreams, and that was Rat Trap.
I didn’t intend to write songs, I
was just scratching and analysing
my anger and thoughts. When
The Rats came together, they
didn’t know the words but they
understood my attitude because
they shared it.
ADRIAN BOOT/GETTY IMAGES
INTERVIEW
At the time there was a civil war
in Ireland. A corrupt government,
a corrupt state church and zero
economy. Of course out of that
you’re going to get the Ramones
and Blondie, the Sex Pistols and
The Boomtown Rats. We had
no option but to create our own
future by singing about the nullity
of the present.
To get to No.1, we had to sell
680,000 records. That meant
680,000 individuals had to save
their money and get to a record
shop, take it home and play it. It’s
a community exercise, but that’s
not true of music any more. What
rock’n’roll ceases to be, the
central spine of our culture as it
was in our day, is articulated
through this photograph.
Sober and considered Bob
Geldof did seven solo albums, but
Bobby Boomtown doesn’t care
what he says and does and
couldn’t care less about the
consequences. The Rats weren’t
a band, they were a conspiracy.
They were going to be a revolution.
My ambition was to get rich,
get famous, get laid. I achieved couldn’t work now. Linking up 95 physically I’m exhausted. That’s
that, but looking at that picture, I per cent of TV screens on the a good gig. If it’s a bad gig, flash
would’ve been surprised. In 1976 planet is not a big deal. We need me with a million blades, because
Catholic Ireland I could forget it, to come up with some new device I want to beat myself to a pulp.
there was no way I was going to to alert the world to something that No normal person wants
get laid. Rock’n’roll changed that. may damage the human corpus. 20,000 people saying I love you
Dad never made a penny. We’re touring with the new every night of the week. It’s true.
He sold towels around the album this year. Ten seconds I’m indifferent to whether you love
countryside of Ireland. I was before I go on stage, Bobby me or not. I don’t care about the
working in abattoirs and a Boomtown takes over, then I’m likes. I want them to go away

We took our name from Woody
Guthrie, the great musical activist,
who sang of the dispossessed and
impoverished. I read his biography
and came across his childhood
band, The Boomtown Rats. Once
I found that name, I understood
that there was a point in us.
pea-canning factory. I thought
I’d give rock a whirl for a while.
Fame was a platform I could use
to talk about things that bothered
me. I started anti-apartheid at
school at 13 and at 15 I took a bus
into Dublin at night and worked
with homeless people. Live Aid just
lost and there’s no equivocations,
no uncertainty or caution.
I’ve seen movies of myself on
stage and I’m mortified. I’m so
ungainly, like an electric ape. Then
it ends and for half an hour, I’m
happy. Emotionally I’m replete,
psychologically I’m complete, and
thinking, ‘Wow, that’s a band.’” ● S
The Boomtown Rats’ new album,
Citizens Of Boomtown, and Bob
Geldof’s new book, Tales Of
Boomtown Glory, are available
now. The band will tour the UK
later in the year.

My favourite photograph
by Bob Geldof
Singer and activist Bob, 68, looks back at the rise of The Boomtown Rats,
Live Aid and the musical revolution of the mid 70s Words by Kirsten Jones
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 57
 GARDENING

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 What to watch
This week’s best new drama, films and
entertainment shows by Jennifer Kyte
TV SHOWS AND TIMES CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS

Sarah Beeny’s Renovate

Don’t Relocate
Tuesday, 8pm, HGTV
Sarah Beeny is back
once again inspiring
couples and families
to transform their
homes. The property
guru will be on hand
with advice for people
who are bored with their
ROAD TRIP
living space and are Gordon, Gino And Fred: American Road Trip
thinking about moving. Thursday, 9pm, ITV
But, using her knowledge We’re back on the road with Gordon Ramsay, Gino
and some particularly D’Acampo and Fred Sirieix as they embark on another
clever technology, she plans escapade in their RV – this time heading along the highways
to help them fall in love with of Mexico and the USA. The boys will be taking in the culinary
their homes all over again. delights of Tijuana, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Francisco and
Texas. And they won’t just be cooking – they’ll also be racing dune
buggies, spearfishing, wrestling, trying goat yoga and so much
more. If their previous road trips are anything to go by, we expect
there’ll be plenty of squabbles thrown in for good measure.

Save Me Too
Wednesday, 9pm,
Sky Atlantic
Nelly Rowe and his big
yellow puffer jacket are
back, roaming the streets
of south London trying
to put the world to rights.
Starring Lennie James

RETURNING
and Suranne Jones as
Nelly’s ex, Claire, the new

FOODIE
series begins 17 months
later with Jody still
missing. But the trial
SERIES
ADVENTURES of Gideon (Adrian
Edmondson), who’s
being accused of sexual
Gregg Wallace’s Fun Weekend exploitation, opens up a
Friday, 9pm, Channel 5 new lead and the search
Gregg Wallace is embarking on a new culinary experience, seeking heats up once again. Will
out some of the best cities in Europe for a foodie break. In the first they find her alive and
episode, he’s in Rome, taking in the sights of the Eternal City well? And can Nelly keep
on the back of a scooter and exploring the Trevi Fountain, before a level head as he enters
finding some of the Italian capital’s hidden restaurant delights. a very dark world?

S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020 59

TV Timings subject to change because of coronavirus
BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew
Marr Show 10.00 Politics
England 10.30 The Big Questions
11.30 Wanted Down Under (R)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (R)
1.00 BBC News; Weather
1.15 Songs of Praise With Aled Jones.
1.50 Lifeline An appeal for funds.
2.00 Escape to the Country (R)
3.00 Garden Rescue Makeover show,
with Charlie Dimmock. (R)
3.30 Madagascar 3: Europe’s
Most Wanted (2012/PG)
Animated comedy, featuring
the voice of Ben Stiller. ★★★
4.50 Ready Steady Cook (R)
5.35 Blue Planet Revisited: A Shark’s
Tale Steve Backshall presents.
6.35 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 Countryfile (13/52)
Ellie Harrison visits the Lugg
Valley in Herefordshire to hunt
for signs of spring, joining
volunteers making sure toads
can make it safely to their
favoured spawning grounds.
8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona
Bruce and the team return for
a second visit to Morden Hall
Park in South London, where
items include letters written
by Mother Teresa and a bronze
by South African sculptor Anton
Van Wouw. There is also a
colourful collage by British artist
and illustrator John Minton.
9.00 The Nest (2/5) Tensions reach
breaking point between the
couple and their surrogate
and when Kaya loses control,
Dan questions what he really
knows about the teenager he
has invited into his home.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.30 Rain Man (1988/15) Brash
yuppie car dealer Charlie
discovers his deceased father
has left the family fortune to
Raymond, the autistic elder
brother he never knew he had.
In a bid to get his hands on the
money, he tracks down and
abducts Raymond – but the
ensuing cross-country journey
proves to be a profound
learning experience. Oscar-
winning drama, with Tom Cruise
and Dustin Hoffman, with
Valeria Golino, Gerald R Molen
and Jack Murdock. ★★★★★
12.35am Weather for the Week Ahead
12.40-6.00am BBC News. Headlines.
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.35am The Instant Gardener (R) 7.25
The A to Z of TV Cooking (R)
8.10 Gardeners’ World (R) 8.40
Countryfile (R) 9.35 Beechgrove
Repotted 10.05 Saturday
Kitchen Best Bites 11.35 Great
British Menu (R) 12.05pm Rick
Stein: From Venice to Istanbul.
The chef arrives in Istanbul. (R)
1.05 Sudan: The Last of the
Rhinos: Natural World (R)
2.05 Mexico: Earth’s Festival of Life
The country’s wildlife. (R)
3.05 Evil Under the Sun (1982/PG)
Mystery, starring Peter
Ustinov and Diana Rigg. ★★★
5.00 Flog It! The history of Sledmere
House in East Yorkshire. (R)
6.00 Back in Time for the Corner
Shop The 1980s and 1990s. (R)
7.00 The Americas with Simon
Reeve The explorer reaches the
United States, travelling down
the Rocky Mountains from
the wide-open prairies of
Montana to a Colorado town
that depends on 11 prisons,
Simon witnesses how inmates
are put to work for the state. (R)
8.00 Race Across the World (4/9)
The teams venture through
Peru’s high altitudes as the race
reaches the halfway mark –
but the first hurdle they face
is bypassing the ongoing state
of emergency in Ecuador, and
drastic measures are required to
ensure the competitors’ safety.
9.00 Dragons’ Den Two Syrian
refugees share their alternative
to Cypriot Halloumi, a couple
showcase some virus filtration
gadgets, and an entrepreneur has
a plan for second hand clothes.
10.00 Trigonometry (4/8) It is
the day of Gemma and Kieran’s
wedding, but the happy couple
are still reeling from Ray’s
declaration the night before.
10.45 Jawbone (2017/15) Premiere.
After hitting rock bottom,
former youth boxing champion
Jimmy McCabe returns to his
childhood boxing club and
his old team. Drama, starring
Johnny Harris, Ian McShane
and Ray Winstone. ★★★
12.10am  FILM The Homesman
(2014/15) Western starring Tommy Lee
Jones and Hilary Swank. ★★★ 2.05
Question Time (R) 3.05 Fraud Squad:
The Hunt (R) 3.50 Holby City (R)
4.50-6.00am This Is BBC Two
ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25 ITV 6.05am The King of Queens (R) 6.50
News 9.30 John and Lisa’s Everybody Loves Raymond (R)
Weekend Kitchen (R) 10.30 7.40 The Big Bang Theory (R)
Ainsley’s Mediterranean 8.55 Jamie’s Meat-Free Meals (R)
Cookbook 11.30 Griff’s Great 9.30 Sunday Brunch. Celebrity
Australian Adventure (R) guests and conversation, with
12.00noon ITV News; Weather Tim Lovejoy and Simon Rimmer.
12.15 The Voice UK: Most 12.30pm The Simpsons (R)
Memorable Moments (R) 2.25 Eragon (2006/PG) Fantasy
1.15 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night adventure, starring Ed Speleers,
Takeaway Entertainment. (R) Jeremy Irons, Robert Carlyle
2.20 In for a Penny Stephen Mulhern and Sienna Guillory. ★★
hosts the game show. (R) 4.25 The Secret Life of the Zoo
2.50 Tipping Point: Lucky Stars (R) Cameras follow adolescent
3.50 Star Wars: Episode VII – The babirusa Tolo, who lives with
Force Awakens (2015/12) Sci-fi his devoted mother Sula. (R)
adventure, starring Daisy Ridley 5.30 Channel 4 News Headlines.
and John Boyega. ★★★★★ 6.00 A Place in the Sun Ben Hillman
6.25 ITV News; Weather Headlines. scours east Mallorca for a
6.45 Regional News; Weather home for choir mistress Tina. (R)
7.00 The Family Chase The 7.00 Escape to the Chateau
Marsh family from Bolton pit Angel redesigns the rooms in
their wits against one of the one of the chateau’s turrets
finest quiz brains in the country, with a fruits and flowers motif,
in a twist on the popular show. while Dick puts together a
8.00 The Good Karma Hospital parkour fitness trail in the
Gabriel and Aisha get closer 12 acres of grounds, but hits
when they work on a surgery upon an unexpected obstacle
together, threatening Ruby and buried deep underground. (R)
Gabriel’s relationship. Ruby and 8.00 Secrets of Egypt’s Valley of
Ram fall out over a patient’s the Kings A specialist team
care, while Edmund’s search for unearths a long-lost tomb in
his lost love hits a dead end. the shadow of the pyramids, as
9.00 Belgravia (3/6) Anne and James archaeologists hunt for remains
are at loggerheads following the and explore hidden tombs in
revelations at the Brockenhursts’ the Valley of the Kings. In the
party. With Oliver fixated on shadow of the pyramids, an
discovering the origins of his extraordinary discovery is made
father’s new protege, Susan in a rare tomb 4,500 years old.
uses the opportunity to plan a 9.00 Homeland (7/12) Saul
covert trip to meet with a new unexpectedly comes across
friend, and enlists her maid an unlikely ally that could
Speer to keep the true nature change things, but the same
of the rendezvous under wraps. thing happens to Carrie.
10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.00 Gogglebox The armchair
10.15 The Station: Trouble on critics share their opinions on
the Tracks The rail mobile what they have been watching
detection team discovers a during the week, with cameras
home – complete with capturing their reactions. (R)
electricity, running water and TV 11.00pm  FILM Dawn of the Planet of
– illegally erected under an arch the Apes (2014/12) The leader of a
beside one of the country’s colony of intelligent apes tries to
busiest areas of track. (R) prevent his tribe going to war against
11.10pm Out of Their Skin Part one of the human race. Sci-fi thriller sequel,
two. Ian Wright charts the inspiring starring Andy Serkis and Jason Clarke.
rise of black footballers in Britain ★★★★ 1.25am  FILM The Secret Life of
through archive footage, original Walter Mitty (2013/PG) Comedy
interviews and a compilation of drama, starring Ben Stiller. ★★★
individual stories. (R) 12.10am Home 3.20 Couples Come Dine with Me (R)
Shopping 3.00 Australian Wilderness 4.15 Location, Location, Location (R)
with Ray Mears. Exploring the Flinders 5.10 Beat the Chef (R) 5.35 Kirstie’s Fill
mountains. (R) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen Your House for Free (R) 5.50-6.30am
5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R) Countdown. With Mark Pougatch. (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! Children’s shows.
9.55 SpongeBob SquarePants (R)
10.10 The Loud House (R)
10.25 Britain’s Greatest Bridges (R)
10.40 WWE Raw Highlights
11.35 Friends Four episodes. (R)
1.35pm Killer Sentence: Hailey Dean
Mysteries (2019/PG) Mystery
drama, starring Kellie Martin
and Lauren Holly. ★★★
3.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords Four episodes. The
housing team accompanies the
police on a raid; a retired couple
need help evicting a non-paying
tenant; a letting agent uncovers
a cannabis farm; a housing
enforcement officer discovers
26 labourers in one house. (R)
6.55 5 News Weekend Headlines.
7.00 Inside Aldi: Britain’s
Biggest Budget
Supermarket Documentary
looking at how the German
supermarket has succeeded in
the UK, overcoming industry
hostility and old-fashioned
snobbery to win the public over
with its discounted goods. (R)
8.00 The Nightmare Neighbour
Next Door Documentary
using eyewitness testimony and
footage from camcorders, CCTV
and phones to provide accounts
of extreme and extraordinary
disputes between neighbours.
9.00 Rich House, Poor House:
To the Manor Born (1/6)
Lincolnshire landowner Robert
Elwes, his archaeologist wife,
and daughter swap homes,
budgets and lives with Yorkshire
family Siobhan and Andy
Leckenby and their children.
10.00 Amy Winehouse: The
Tragedy of Talent The tragic
demise of the singer-songwriter, 6.00am Coronation Street 8.00 Emmerdale 10.55
who died aged 27 in July 2011
after being plagued by drug
and alcohol addiction. (R)
11.30pm The Ten Faces of Michael
Jackson The facial cosmetic surgery
the pop star underwent. (R) 12.35am
Snatched & Sold for Sex. Following
the stories of four women who were
sexually exploited by men, including
model Chloe Ayling, who was
kidnapped while working in Italy. (R)
1.15 The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show 3.15
The Great British Benefits Handout (R) birthday, Gwyn Griffiths is bestowed with five Agricultural issues. 5.25 Pobol y Cwm Omnibws.
4.00 Now That’s Funny! (R) 4.45 House special gifts infused with ancient Welsh magic. 7.30
Doctor (R) 5.10-6.00am The Railways
That Built Britain with Chris Tarrant (R) fantasy trilogy. 6.50-7.00pm BBC Wales Today
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.30 Hi-de-Hi! 8.25 The
Two Ronnies 9.15 Only Fools and Horses. Twelve
Sunday
MARCH 29
episodes. 8.20pm Dad’s Army 9.00 The Royle
Family: The Golden Egg Cup 10.20 Morgana
Robinson’s The Agency. Triple bill. 12.20am
Smack the Pony. Triple bill. 2.00 The Royle
Family: The Golden Egg Cup 3.05 Morgana
Robinson’s The Agency 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Yianni: Supercar
Customiser 7.35 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull
Challenge 8.30 Expedition with Steve Backshall
9.30 Top Gear 11.30 Red Bull Soapbox Race
12.30pm Red Bull Soapbox 2015 1.30 Top Gear
2.50 Top Gear: Burma Special 6.00 Red Bull
Soapbox Race 7.00 Expedition with Steve
Backshall 8.00 Border Interceptors 9.00 Comedy
Against Living Miserably 10.00 Have I Got a Bit
More Old News for You 11.00 QI XL 12.00m’t
Mock the Week 12.40 Room 101. Double bill. 2.00
QI 2.45 Don’t Say It, Bring It. Double bill. 3.35 The
Indestructibles 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping The Nest, BBC One, 9pm
DRAMA Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130
6.00am Teleshopping 7.25 Call the Midwife. Eight Triple bill. 2.40am Wild at Heart 3.30 Emmerdale Free Preview Frozen 2 2.10  FILM Drunk Parents
episodes. 5.40pm Hetty Wainthropp Investigates. 5.50-6.00am ITV3 Nightscreen (2019/15) Premiere. Comedy, starring Alec
Drama. 6.40 Call the Midwife. Double bill. 9.20 Baldwin. ★★★ 4.05  FILM Her Smell (2018/15)
Taggart. Double bill. 11.25 Hetty Wainthropp
BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107 Drama, starring Elisabeth Moss. ★★★ 6.30  FILM
Investigates. Triple bill. 2.25am Garden Hopping. 7.00pm Natural World 8.00 Britain’s Lost The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019/U) Animated
Double bill. 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping Waterlands: Escape to Swallows and Amazons sequel, featuring the voice of Patton Oswalt.
Country 9.00 Operation Gold Rush with Dan ★★★★ 8.00  FILM Rocketman (2019/15) Elton
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129 Snow 10.00  FILM The Odyssey (2016/PG) John enters an addiction rehabilitation session,
6.00am Napoleon: The Egyptian Campaign 7.10 Premiere. Biopic, starring Lambert Wilson. and recounts his extraordinary life in a flashback.
Samurai Warrior Queens 8.00 WW2 – Battles for ★★★ 11.55 Francis Bacon: A Brush with Violence Biopic, starring Taron Egerton. ★★★★
Europe. Five episodes. 1.00pm Abandoned 1.15am Handmade in Bolton 1.45 Discovering 10.05  FILM Drunk Parents (2019/15) Premiere.
Engineering. Four episodes. 5.01 Secrets of Britain The Bridge on the River Kwai – Malcolm Comedy, starring Alec Baldwin. ★★★ 11.50  FILM
6.00 Murder Maps. Double bill. 8.00 ’Allo ’Allo!. Arnold 2.45-3.45am Britain’s Lost Waterlands: Her Smell (2018/15) Drama, starring Elisabeth
Triple bill. 10.00 Bangers and Cash 11.00 History Escape to Swallows and Amazons Country Moss. ★★★ 2.15am  FILM The Drone (2019/18)
Hunters 12.00m’t Warbird Workshop 1.00 Horror, starring Sam Adegoke. ★★★ 3.45  FILM
Samurai Warrior Queens 2.00 Napoleon: The SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110 10 Minutes Gone (2019/15) Action mystery, with
Egyptian Campaign 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping 6.00am Hour of Power 7.00 Monkey Life. Double Bruce Willis. ★★★ 5.30-6.00am Extremely
bill. 8.00 Modern Family. Six episodes. 11.00 The Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile: Special
ITV2 Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115 Simpsons. Double bill. 12.00noon Magnum P.I.
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 Totally Bonkers 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles. Triple bill. 4.00 The FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
Guinness World Records 7.10 You’ve Been Simpsons. Eight episodes. 8.00 Magnum P.I. 9.00 11.00am Snoopy and Charlie Brown: The Peanuts
Framed! Gold 7.40 The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.00 Movie (2015/U) ★★★★ 12.40pm Step Up All In
Double bill. 9.15 Dress to Impress. Triple bill. Bulletproof 12.00m’t SEAL Team 1.00 Micky (2014/PG) ★★ 2.55 Carry On Sergeant (1958/U)
12.20pm Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! Gold Flanagan – An’ Another Fing Live 3.00 S.W.A.T. ★★★ 4.35 Lemony Snicket’s A Series of
1.25  FILM Honey (2003/PG) Urban dance drama, 4.00-6.00am Air Ambulance ER. Double bill. Unfortunate Events (2004/PG) ★★★ 6.40 The
starring Jessica Alba and Mekhi Phifer. ★★ Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (2014/12)
3.20  FILM Alvin and the Chipmunks: The SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108 ★★★ 9.00 Sicario (2015/15) Crime drama, starring
Squeakquel (2009/U) Comedy, starring Zachary 6.00am Storm City 7.00 The Guest Wing. Emily Blunt. ★★★★★ 11.20 The Iceman (2012/15)
Levi. ★★ 5.10  FILM Despicable Me 3 (2017/U) Double bill. 9.00 Without a Trace. Seven ★★★ 1.25-3.20am Darkman (1990/18) ★★★
Animated sequel, with the voice of Steve Carell. episodes. 4.00pm Blue Bloods. Five episodes.
★★★ 6.55  FILM Coyote Ugly (2000/12) Comedy 9.00 Game of Thrones. Double bill. 11.20 TALKING PICTURES TV
drama, starring Piper Perabo. ★★ 9.00 Ibiza Westworld 12.30am The End 1.05 Banshee 2.00 Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
Weekender 10.00 Family Guy. Triple bill. 11.30 Westworld 3.10 Californication 3.45 Life Itself: 6.00am Tiger by the Tail (1955/PG) ★★★ 7.40
American Dad!. Double bill. 12.30am The Special 4.00-6.00am Urban Secrets. Double bill. Escape Route (1952/PG) ★★★ 9.15 Windbag the
Cleveland Show. Double bill. 1.25 The Stand Up Sailor (1936/U) ★★★ 11.00 Saraband for Dead
Sketch Show 1.55 Don’t Hate the Playaz 2.55 SKY CINEMA PREMIERE Lovers (1948/PG) ★★★ 1.00pm The Key Man
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 3.20 Sky 301 Virgin 401 (1957/PG) ★★★ 2.15 Arabian Adventure (1979/U)
ITV2 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping 6.00am  FILM The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019/U) ★★ 4.15 English Without Tears (1944/PG) ★★★
Animated sequel, featuring the voice of Patton 6.00 Get Some In! 6.35 Eddie Carroll & His
ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117 Oswalt. ★★★★ 7.45  FILM Inside Man: Most Orchestra 6.55 No, My Darling Daughter (1961/
Wanted (2019/15) Crime thriller, starring Aml
Ameen. ★★★ 9.45  FILM The Intruder (2019/15)
PG) ★★★ 9.00 Sunday Night at the London
Midsomer Murders. Double bill. 3.00pm Agatha Palladium 10.00 Rumpole of the Bailey 12.10am
Christie’s Marple 5.00 Endeavour 7.00 Larry Mystery horror, starring Michael Ealy. ★★★ No Sex Please, We’re British! (1973/PG) ★★★
Grayson: Shut That Door! 9.00 Ant & Dec’s DNA 11.40  FILM Rocketman (2019/15) Elton John 2.00 Wanted for Murder (1946/PG) ★★
Journey 10.30 The Syndicate 11.45 Scott & Bailey. biopic, starring Taron Egerton. ★★★★ 1.55pm 4.10-6.00am Somewhere on Leave (1942/U) ★★
Variations ITV WALES As ITV except: 12.15pm Newsweek
Wales 12.45 The Voice UK: Most Memorable
the wedding of Deiniol and Sorrell from
Caernarfon. The groom is a big fan of fantasy
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 10.00-10.30am Moments 1.45-2.50 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night television series full of dragons and castles, but
Takeaway 6.45-7.00pm ITV News Cymru Wales the bride is not so keen. 9.00 Bang. As the
Politics Wales 3.00pm A to Z of TV Gardening.
The letter M. 3.10  FILM Madagascar 3: Europe’s S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.50 Penblwyddi Cyw 8.55 police race to find the killer, Morgan disappears.
Most Wanted (2012/PG) Animated comedy, Pen-Blwydd Pwy? 9.00 Y Siambr 10.00 Yr While Gina and Luke search for Harri, Sam and
Anialwch 11.00 Cymru Wyllt 12.00noon Dan Do Linda do their best to protect Caryn. Last in
with the voice of Ben Stiller. ★★★ 4.35 12.30 Perthyn 1.00 Dechrau Canu Dechrau series. 10.00 Ein Byd. Sion Jenkins investigates
Weatherman Walking: The Welsh Coast 5.05 Canmol 1.30 Dudley 2.30 Cwpwrdd Dillad 3.30 Poland’s abortion laws, follow the secret journey
Blue Planet Revisited: A Shark’s Tale 6.05- Codi Pac 4.30 Y Brenin Arthur 4.55 Ffermio. of a girl who has to flee to another country
6.35  NEW The Snow Spider. On his ninth to have a termination. 10.30-11.35pm Ysgol Ni:
Omnibus edition. 7.15 Newyddion a Chwaraeon Maesincla. Folllowing the story of a brother
Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol. Ryland Teifi and sister as Maya goes on a school trip to
Children’s drama based on Jenny Nimmo’s is in the Uwchaled area learning more about Liverpool by coach, and Sion invites his mother
the Degwm war. 8.00 Priodas Pum Mil. Plans for and grandmother to a very special lunch.
TV Timings subject to change because of coronavirus
BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15  NEW
HealthCheck UK Live 10.00
Homes Under the Hammer (R)
11.00 Defenders UK 11.45
Claimed and Shamed (R)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Valerie sets her
sights on dancing with Bear.
2.15 London Kills (1/5) The return
of the crime drama, starring
Hugo Speer and Sharon Small.
3.00 Escape to the Country A new
home in the High Weald.
3.45 Money for Nothing Items
include a stained-glass door.
4.30 Antiques Road Trip From
Morecambe and Sheffield. (R)
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz.
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 The One Show Alex Jones
and Matt Bake host the first visit
of the week to the One Show
studio, featuring a mix of topical
stories and celebrity chat.
7.30 Inside Out Documentary
series focusing on stories
of interest to the region.
8.00 EastEnders Sharon insists
none of the Mitchells are
welcome at Dennis’s funeral,
Dotty pressures Ian to come
clean, and Linda tells Mick
she is ready to return to work.
8.30 How Scotland Cut Violent
Crime – Panorama
Current affairs report.
9.00 MasterChef The remaining
contestants are split into two
groups as they compete for
the chance to work in a
professional kitchen, with
five of the first eight heading
to east London’s Da Terra.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the
10.45 Man Like Mobeen (1/5) After day’s events, with Emily Maitlis.
the attack on his best friends,
Mobeen is armed, dangerous
and set for revenge. The return
of the comedy, co-written
by and starring Guz Khan.
11.10pm Young, Welsh and Pretty
Minted Gonth decides he wants to be
a TV presenter. Last in series. 11.40 A
Question of Sport. With Gary Pallister,
Richie Woodhall, Jane Sixsmith and
Tony Jarrett. (R) 12.10am London Kills.
Grisly remains reveal the dark secrets
of former student housemates.
Crime drama about an elite murder
investigation squad, starring Hugo
Speer. (R) 12.55 Weather for the
Week Ahead 1.00-6.00am BBC News
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.00am Money for Nothing (R) 6.45
Bargain Hunt (R) 7.30 Best Home 9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news.
Cook (R) 8.30 The Week in
Parliament (R) 9.00 BBC News
at 9 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
1.00pm Hardball Quiz show. (R)
1.45 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is In Nottinghamshire. (R)
2.30 The TV That Made Me (R)
3.00 Red Rock Ash and Paudge
seek a missing witness.
3.45 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial (R)
4.45 Eggheads Quiz show. (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Aberystwyth.
6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
Games Trivia-based quiz. (R)
6.30 Animal Park Longleat gets
ready to welcome five koalas. (R) 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather
7.00 Yorkshire Wolds Way
with Paul Rose Part one of
two. A journey along the
Yorkshire Wolds Way. (R)
7.30 Mastermind Subjects include
Richard Wagner, Flight of the
Conchords, and Queens Consort
of England from 939 to 1154.
8.00 Only Connect Victoria Coren
Mitchell asks the questions
in the final. Last in series.
8.30 University Challenge
The quarter-final matches
conclude as two teams of
four students compete to
make it to the next stage
of the competition. Jeremy
Paxman asks the questions.
9.00 The Real Michael Jackson
Jacques Peretti investigates the
pop star’s character, going back
to his beginnings, charting his
rise and fall and seeking a fuller
picture of this complex man.
11.15pm Cops Like Us Staffordshire
Police officers talk candidly about
dealing with domestic abuse, as well
as the stress of being on permanent
standby in the event of riots or
terrorist attacks. (R) 12.15am The
Farmers’ Country Showdown. Sheep
farmers head to Ryedale to show off
the finest animals in their flocks,
including a retired businessman who is
hoping to carry on his wife’s legacy. (R)
1.00 Countryfile. Matt Baker and Ellie
Harrison visit Lake Vyrnwy in Powys to
learn about the history of the reservoir.
Plus, a report on what future global
trade deals could mean for UK farming.
(R) 1.55-6.30am This Is BBC Two
ITV
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103
6.00am Good Morning Britain
10.00 This Morning Celebrity
chat and lifestyle features.
12.30pm Loose Women Celebrity
interviews and topical debate
from a female perspective.
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather
1.55 Regional News; Weather
2.00 Judge Rinder Real-life cases
heard in a studio courtroom.
3.00 Tenable A family of five
spanning three generations
takes part in the quiz show. (R)
4.00 Tipping Point Coin-drop quiz.
5.00 The Chase Brian, Ravi,
Vanessa and Shanice take part.
6.00 Regional News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Pollard convinces
Brenda to dispose of any
incriminating evidence,
while Rhona worries about
Moira’s financial situation.
7.30 Coronation Street Geoff
feigns illness to sabotage
Yasmeen’s plans, and David
places himself in harm’s way.
8.00 The Coronavirus Report
A look at the latest on
the Covid-19 outbreak.
8.30 St Davids – Britain’s
Smallest City (5/6) An
aeroplane pilot makes
an emergency landing
on Whitesands beach.
9.00 Liar (5/6) Andrew is pushed to
the edge and as he runs out of
options, he concocts a plan to
take drastic measures. In the
present day, a vital piece of
evidence comes to light and
Laura seeks to discover its origin.
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
A fresh perspective on the
major stories of the day.
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.45 Robbie Lyle – Football
Fans Under Their Skin
Arsenal fan Robbie Lyle looks at
racism directed at football
supporters, revealing how he has Medics A woman tries to save her
been abused and meeting
others speaking out for the first arrest. (R) 12.05am The Pet Talent
time about their experiences.
11.45pm Out of Their Skin Part two of Be Different (R) 2.00 How to Beat –
two. Charting the inspiring rise of black Pain (R) 2.55 Coronavirus: Can You
footballers in Britain. (R) 12.35am All
Elite Wrestling: Dynamite 1.25 Home
Shopping 3.00 James Martin’s French
Adventure (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
Channel 4
FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
(R) 10.10 Undercover Boss USA
(R) 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (R)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
2.10 Countdown Word game.
3.00 A Place in the Sun In France. (R)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY
5.00 Four in a Bed From Potbank
Aparthotel in Stoke-on-Trent.
5.30 Come Dine with Me Dinner-
party challenge from Essex.
6.00 The Simpsons Homer
becomes the Grim Reaper. (R)
6.30 Hollyoaks Walter invites both
Mitchell and Scott round
for an awkward lunch. (R)
7.00 Channel 4 News
Including the latest weather.
8.00 Food Unwrapped Jimmy
Doherty finds out what the
white skin on brie is made of,
Helen Lawal explores how
candy floss is inspiring a food
revolution, and Briony May
Williams goes crayfish trapping.
8.30 Coronavirus: Can Our
NHS Cope? – Dispatches
A look at the pressing questions
many are now asking about bed
capacity, vital equipment such as
ventilators, the number of nurses
and protection of NHS workers.
9.00 Putin: A Russian Spy Story
(2/3) A look at Vladimir Putin’s
early years as president,
revealing how he asserted his
hold on power and ultimately
surrounded himself with his KGB
peers, as well as his philosophy
as regards traitors and enemies.
10.00 999: What’s Your
Emergency? With police
numbers lower than they
have been for decades, this
edition focuses on the increased
demands on front-line police
in Northamptonshire. (R)
11.00pm Emergency Helicopter
husband after he suffers a cardiac
Agency: Barking Mad (R) 1.05 Born to
Avoid It? (R) 3.50 Grand Designs (R)
4.45 Location, Location, Location (R)
5.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems. How to
create a personalised doormat. (R)
5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News
at Lunchtime 12.15 Britain’s
Parking Hell (R) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away
See 6.00pm. (R)
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 The Killer Nurse (2014/PG)
Thriller, starring Willa Ford
and Brigid Brannagh. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Mark believes in
Elly’s innocence and Toadie
comes to her defence. (R)
6.00 Home and Away John is furious
when the Paratas swallow
their pride and move in. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Around the World by Train
with Tony Robinson The
actor begins another global
adventure, setting off from
London’s St Pancras station on
a quest to explore southern
Europe in a whole new way. (R)
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Police Interceptors (10/16)
A speeding car crashes, leaving a
passenger trapped inside while
the driver flees on foot, and a
drunken man kicks his partner
out of the car and onto
the hard shoulder before
driving off with their children.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Inside the Force: 24/7
(2/4) Two response officers
deal with a series of assaults,
including a racially aggravated
attack in the city centre and
an incident in a flat that has
been left covered in blood.
10.00 Hard Men: Street Justice
Documentary exploring life in
Britain’s gangland underworld.
11.05pm  FILM Blitz (2011/18)
An uncompromising cop with
controversial violent methods is set
on the trail of a serial killer who preys
on police officers. Crime thriller, with
Jason Statham and Aidan Gillen. ★★★
1.15am The 21.co.uk Live Casino
Show 3.15 The Great British Benefits
Handout. A Gloucester man uses the
windfall to do something special for
his partner. (R) 4.00 Now That’s Funny!
(R) 4.50 House Doctor. A home in
Rothwell near Leeds. (R) 5.10-6.00am
The Railways That Built Britain with
Chris Tarrant. The role of the railways
during the two world wars. (R)
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.30 The Piglet Files.
Double bill. 8.25 Only Fools and Horses. Triple
bill. 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill.
12.20pm Only Fools and Horses. Triple bill. 2.20
Porridge 3.00 Only Fools and Horses 3.40 Dad’s
Army 4.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill.
6.20 Only Fools and Horses. Double bill. 7.40
Dad’s Army. Double bill. 9.00 Gavin & Stacey
9.40 Mrs Brown’s Boys 10.20 Live at the Apollo
11.25 Peep Show. Double bill. 12.35am Gavin &
Stacey 1.10 Live at the Apollo 2.10 Peep Show
3.10 The Rebel 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Yianni: Supercar
Customiser 7.35 American Pickers 8.35 Expedition
with Steve Backshall 9.35 Top Gear 10.35 Red Bull
Soapbox Race 11.35 Top Gear: Burma Special
2.45pm Top Gear: Africa Special 6.00 Taskmaster
7.00 Room 101. Double bill. 8.20 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 9.20 QI 10.00 Room 101 10.40
Meet the Richardsons 11.20 Mock the Week
12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit More
News for You 2.10 Red Dwarf 2.40 Don’t Say It,
Bring It. Triple bill. 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DRAMA Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier 9.00
The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City 11.00 Classic
Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00 Classic
EastEnders 2.20 London’s Burning 3.20 Monarch
of the Glen 4.20 Where the Heart Is 5.25 Bread
6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.41 As Time Goes By 7.20 Last of
the Summer Wine 8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe 10.00
New Tricks 11.15 Waking the Dead 1.45am The Bill
2.40 London’s Burning 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129
6.00am Napoleon: The Egyptian Campaign
7.10 Secrets of the Bible 8.00 Murder Maps 9.00
The Day When Roosevelt Chose War 10.00
WW2 – Battles for Europe 11.00 Abandoned
Engineering 12.00noon Chris Tarrant: Extreme
Railway Journeys 1.00 Coast 2.00 Deep Wreck
Mysteries 3.00 Abandoned Engineering 4.00
Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railway Journeys 5.00
The Day When 6.00 World War Weird.
Documentary. 7.00 Abandoned Engineering 8.00
Train Truckers 9.00 Bangers and Cash. Double bill.
11.00 The Two Ronnies. Double bill. 12.45am
World War Weird 1.45 Napoleon: The Egyptian
Campaign 2.35 David Attenborough’s Natural
Curiosities 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2 Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Presents Top 100 Shockers 9.20 Superstore.
Double bill. 10.15 Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to
Impress 12.15pm Emmerdale 12.45 Celebrity
Catchphrase 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45
Dinner Date 3.50 Dress to Impress 4.50 Take Me
Out 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 8.00 Two
and a Half Men 9.00 Family Guy 9.30 American
Dad! 10.00 The Stand Up Sketch Show 10.30
Family Guy. Double bill. 11.30 American Dad! 11.55
The Cleveland Show 12.25am Two and a Half
Men. Double bill. 1.20 Hey Tracey! 2.05 Plebs.
Double bill. 3.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-7.00pm
BBC Wales Today 7.30-8.00 X-Ray. Consumer
rights show. 10.45 Young, Welsh and Pretty
Minted. Football vlogger Gonth decides he
wants to be a TV presenter, while Mima gives
up her day job as a graphic designer to risk it all
to go into wedding fashion. Last in series.
11.15-11.40pm  NEW Man Like Mobeen
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.55-2.00pm ITV
News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales
at Six 8.30-9.00 Wales This Week. Life for stars
of Instagram. 10.30 ITV News Cymru Wales
Monday
MARCH 30
MasterChef, BBC One, 9pm
ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55 Classic
Emmerdale 7.55 Heartbeat 8.55 Man About the
House 10.00 That’s My Boy 10.30 A Touch of
Frost 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Emmerdale
2.50 Classic Coronation Street 3.55 Midsomer
Murders 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Agatha Christie’s
Poirot 8.00 Endeavour 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00
A Touch of Frost 3.00am Man About the House
3.20 ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 Francesco’s
Mediterranean Voyage 8.00 Dynasties 9.00
Scandal & Beauty: Mark Gatiss on Aubrey
Beardsley 10.00 England’s Forgotten Queen: The
Life and Death of Lady Jane Grey 11.00 Sex and
Sensibility: The Allure of Art Nouveau 12.00m’t
Christo and Jeanne-Claude: Monumental Art
1.00 The Secret Life of Books: The Mill on the
Floss 1.30 Ben Building: Mussolini, Monuments
and Modernism 3.00-4.00am Scandal & Beauty:
Mark Gatiss on Aubrey Beardsley
SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110
6.00am Monkey Life 7.00 Wild Vets 8.00 The
Dog Whisperer 9.00 Air Ambulance ER 10.00
Highway Patrol 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles. Double
bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0. Double bill. 3.00
S.W.A.T. 4.00 Modern Family 5.00 The Simpsons
5.30 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Supergirl
9.00  FILM Anchorman: The Legend of Ron
Burgundy (2004/12) Newsroom comedy, starring
Will Ferrell. ★★★ 11.00 The Trip to Greece 11.35
Strike Back: Vendetta 12.35am Flintoff: Lord
of the Fries 1.35 The Force: Manchester 2.35 Road
Wars 3.05 Night Cops 4.00 Air Ambulance ER
5.00-6.00am Futurama. Double bill.
SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 7.00
Without a Trace 10.00 The West Wing. Double
bill. 12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation 2.00 The West Wing. Double bill.
4.00 Without a Trace. Triple bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime
10.45 Sharp End. Political discussion, presented
by Adrian Masters. 11.10 Robbie Lyle – Football
Fans Under Their Skin 12.10-12.35am Wales on TV
S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05 Parti Bwyd Beca 12.30 Heno
1.30 Cymry ar Gynfas 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 3.05 Ysgol Ni: Maesincla 4.00 Awr
Fawr: Bing 4.10 Timpo 4.20 Jen a Jim Pob Dim
4.35 Patrol Pawennau 4.45 Cacamwnci 5.00
Stwnsh: Pat a Stan 5.05 Mwy o Stwnsh Sadwrn
5.25 Cog1nio 5.50 Ffeil 6.00 Cerys Matthews a’r
Goeden Faled. The origin of the anthem
Finlandia. Last in series. 6.30 Heno. Magazine
programme. 7.30 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods 9.00
Westworld 10.10 The End 10.50 True Blood 1.10am
The L Word: Generation Q 2.20 Banshee 3.35
Californication 4.10-6.00am The West Wing
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Sky 301 Virgin 401
6.00am  FILM Through the Fire (2018/PG) Drama.
In French. ★★★★ 8.00  FILM Drunk Parents
(2019/15) ★★★ 9.45  FILM Her Smell (2018/15)
★★★ 12.10pm  FILM Supercon (2018/15)
Premiere. Action comedy. ★★★ 2.00  FILM
Rocketman (2019/15) Elton John biopic. ★★★★
4.15  FILM Inside Man: Most Wanted (2019/15)
Crime thriller. ★★★ 6.15  FILM Drunk Parents
(2019/15) Comedy. ★★★ 8.00  FILM Rocketman
(2019/15) Elton John biopic, starring Taron
Egerton. ★★★★ 10.05  FILM Supercon (2018/15)
Premiere. Action comedy. ★★★ 11.50  FILM Her
Smell (2018/15) Drama. ★★★ 2.15am  FILM The
Drone (2019/18) ★★★ 3.45  FILM The Intruder
(2019/15) ★★★ 5.30-6.00am Final Score: Special
FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
11.00am We’re No Angels (1955/PG) ★★ 1.10pm
Arrowhead (1953/U) ★★ 3.20 The Black Tent
(1956/U) ★★ 5.10 The Tall Stranger (1957/PG)
★★ 6.50 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016/12)
★★★ 9.00 The Girl on the Train (2016/15) Thriller.
★★★ 11.15 Victor Frankenstein (2015/12) ★★
1.25-3.50am Creepshow (1982/15) ★★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
6.00am The Vicar of Bray (1937/U) ★★ 7.20 That
Brennan Girl (1946/PG) ★★★ 9.10 The Breathing
Space 9.25 Law and Disorder (1958/U) ★★★ 11.00
The Rogues 12.00noon Lady Hamilton (1941/PG)
★★★ 2.30 Target for Tonight 3.30 The Constant
Husband (1955/U) ★★★★ 5.15 Custer of the
West (1967/U) ★★★ 8.00 Danger UXB 9.00
Special Branch 10.00 So Long at the Fair (1950/
PG) ★★ 11.45 Fathom (1967/U) ★★★ 1.45am
D.O.A (1988/15) ★★★★ 3.45 The Black Rider
(1954/U) ★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms. Double bill.
8.00 Caru Siopa. Fashion challenge, presented
by Lara Catrin. 8.25 Helo Syrjeri. Dr Gwynfor
Evans advises a local rugby player. 8.55
Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 9.00 Ffermio
9.30 Un Teulu, Mil o Flynyddoedd, Un Fferm.
Members of a family celebrate 1,000 years
in their local area. 10.00 Elis James: Cic Lan
Yr Archif. The comedian focuses on the
portrayal of women and children in Welsh
film and TV through a range of archive
footage. 10.30-11.35pm Cynefin. Heledd
Cynwal, Iestyn Jones and Sion Tomos Owen
explore Bangor, home to the oldest cathedral
in Wales. They also go under the pier and get
a chance to climb the old college tower.
TV Timings subject to change because of coronavirus

BBC One BBC Two ITV Channel 4

FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101 FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102 FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 HealthCheck UK 6.30am Defenders UK (R) 7.15 Money 6.00am Good Morning Britain 6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
Live 10.00 Homes Under the for Nothing (R) 8.00 The Repair 9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Hammer (R) 11.00 Defenders UK Shop (R) 9.00 BBC News at 9 10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (R) 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire (R) and lifestyle features. (R) 10.10 Undercover Boss USA
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (R) 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
12.30pm Loose Women Topical debate Nightmares USA (R) 12.05pm
1.00 BBC News; Regional News 1.00pm Lifeline Appeals for funds. (R) from a female perspective.
1.45 Doctors Daniel helps a young Come Dine with Me (R)
1.10 Hardball Quiz show. (R) 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather
woman who worries she 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
1.55 Put Your Money Where Your 1.55 Regional News; Weather
is pregnant as her mother 2.10 Countdown Word game.
plans an arranged marriage. Mouth Is From Kent. (R) 2.00 Judge Rinder Real-life cases 3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
2.15 London Kills (2/5) A young 2.55 Red Rock Bridget and Vincent heard in a studio courtroom.
are pawns in an imminent 4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY
boy’s 999 call opens a 3.00 Tenable A team of five friends 5.00 Four in a Bed From Millstone
distressing case for the squad. atrocity. Last in series. answers questions about top House in Staindrop.
3.00 Escape to the Country 3.45 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial (R) 10 lists, then tries to score a 5.30 Come Dine with Me Dinner
3.45 Money for Nothing Items 4.45 Eggheads Quiz show. (R) perfect 10 in the final round. (R) party challenge from Essex. (R)
include a nest of tables 5.15 Flog It! From Kent. (R) 4.00 Tipping Point Coin-drop quiz. 6.00 The Simpsons A gay man
and a trolley. Last in series. 6.00 Richard Osman’s House of 5.00 The Chase Quiz show, befriends the family. (R)
4.30 Antiques Road Trip (R) Games Trivia-based quiz. (R) hosted by Bradley Walsh. 6.30 Hollyoaks Toby and Celeste
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. 6.30 Animal Park A male lion is 6.00 Regional News; Weather confront Felix, and Warren finds
6.00 BBC News; Regional News introduced to eight females. (R) 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather out that Sienna has returned. (R)
7.00 The One Show Alex Jones 7.00 Race Across the World 7.00 Emmerdale Rhona gets a 7.00 Channel 4 News Headlines.
and Matt Baker present another The teams venture through windfall from Graham’s will 8.00 The Great Celebrity Bake
mix of nationwide reports Peru’s high altitudes – but and goes into business with Off for Stand Up to
and live studio-based chat. the first hurdle they face is Moira, and Al and Priya kiss. Cancer James Blunt, Alison
7.30 EastEnders Phil insists he just bypassing the ongoing state 7.30 Best Walks with a View Hammond, Alex Jones and Joe
wants to talk to Sharon, but of emergency in Ecuador. (R) with Julia Bradbury The Sugg take part in the charity
when things turn violent Ian 8.00 Back in Time for the presenter chooses six of her culinary challenge, under the
calls the police. Shirley and Corner Shop (6/6) The Ardens favourite family treks, starting watchful eye of Sandi Toksvig,
Mick make a far-reaching reflect on the lessons learned with one of the most famous Noel Fielding, Paul Hollywood
decision about their future. through the series, and how landmarks on the Jurassic Coast and Prue Leith. For the signature
8.00 Holby City Max anxiously corner shops can continue to – Old Harry Rocks in Dorset. (R) round, they must prepare a batch
awaits a reunion with her thrive in the changing world of 8.00 Midsomer Murders of decorated traybakes, while
estranged daughter, but Ric 21st-century business, examining An international cycling the technical challenge involves
and Ange are concerned that how shops have reinvented competition comes to the a classic British staple. Finally, for
she will not be able to juggle themselves to compete Midsomer village of Burwood the Showstopper, they must
her work commitments with with mini-supermarkets. Mantle, but when the race create a scene out of biscuits
this encounter. Meanwhile, 9.00 Cops Like Us (3/3) The leader is murdered, DCI Barnaby depicting what they wanted
a new nurse joins Darwin. Staffordshire police officers and DS Nelson must investigate. to be when they grew up.
9.00 Our Girl (2/6) Georgie helps take on new recruits, including As the pair look into the case, 9.15 Five Guys a Week A 68-year-
with a polio inoculation Holly Swift. After working in they find themselves drawn old widow hoping to have
programme and provides mental health services and into a competitive world of started a new relationship
security for Dr Bahil, but the seeing the difference police blackmail, bribery and before she celebrates her next
thought that Elvis’s killer is still at officers can make, she decided bloodshed, where winning birthday invites five men to
large continues to consume her. it was the career for her. comes at any cost. (R) stay in her cottage in Yorkshire.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.00 Mock the Week Dara O 10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.15 The Windsors (6/6)
10.45 My Left Nut (2/3) Mick is Briain hosts as Tom Allen, Ed A fresh perspective on the Donald Trump invites Charles
horrified to discover the whole Gamble, Kerry Godliman, Rhys stories of the day, featuring and Camilla to abandon
school is talking about the James and Rosie Jones join national and international news. England and become King
bulge in his trousers, and regular Hugh Dennis to take a 10.30 Regional News; Weather and Queen of America.
Rachel thinks that he has been comic look at the news. (R) 10.45 Kate & Koji With Kate and 10.45 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
spreading rumours about her. 10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the Koji’s undercover clinic in full Countdown Sean Lock and
11.20pm Peter Kay’s Comedy Shuffle day’s events, with Emily Maitlis. swing, the last thing they need is Katherine Ryan take on Jon
A further collection of clips 11.15pm Hospital The documentary a visit from Dr Radwan. Comedy, Richardson and Joe Wilkinson in
documenting the much-loved comedy looks at Alder Hey Children’s Hospital’s starring Brenda Blethyn. (R) the words and numbers quiz. (R)
star’s best work from his decades in craniofacial department – one of only 11.15pm The Trouble with Maggie Cole 11.50pm Friday Night Dinner (R)
showbusiness. Featuring a special four in the UK that treats congenital Maggie is horrified that her comments 12.20am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
appearance by The One Show’s skull and facial abnormalities. (R) about Roxanna have been interpreted USA (R) 1.10  FILM The Two Faces of
Alex Jones. (R) 11.50 London Kills. 12.15am Dragons’ Den. An entrepreneur as racist. Meanwhile, money lenders January (2014/12) Thriller, starring Viggo
A boy’s 999 call opens a distressing offers one Dragon a new look. (R) 1.15 Patrick and Phil put the pressure on Mortensen. ★★★★ 2.45 Couples Come
case for the murder squad, and MasterChef. Six more hopefuls take Alex to repay his debts. (R) 12.10am Dine with Me (R) 3.40 Grand Designs
Vivienne investigates stories she finds part in the third week of heats. (R) 2.15 Home Shopping 3.00 Culinary Genius (R) 4.35 Location, Location, Location (R)
suspicious. (R) 12.35am Weather for the Child of Our Time: Turning 20 (R) (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05-6.00am 5.30 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R)
Week Ahead 12.40-6.00am BBC News 3.15-6.30am This Is BBC Two. Previews. Judge Rinder. Real-life cases. (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Bad Tenants, Rogue
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News at
Lunchtime 12.15 Bargain-Loving
Brits in the Sun (R) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away
See 6.00pm. (R)
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.20 Sinister Stepmother (2017/12)
Thriller, with Annie Wersching
and Kimberley Crossman. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours After Elly’s
revelations, Bea is left
feeling deeply betrayed. (R)
6.00 Home and Away John gives
the Paratas two weeks to
find new accommodation. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Britain: A Year in the Wild
Cameras follow events at a
grey seal colony in Norfolk, as
bulls fight over the in-season
females, while in Anglesey,
guillemots are setting up
home on precarious ledges. (R)
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 The Yorkshire Vet (3/4)
Peter faces a struggle to save
a baby alpaca that was born
prematurely during a storm,
and Julian performs a delicate
eye operation on a Labrador
preparing for a dog show.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Inside Waitrose: Britain’s
Poshest Supermarket
Documentary exploring the
secret of the supermarket
chain’s success, examining how
a new store can boost house
prices and the launch of a
royal brand of organic food.
10.00 Hoarders: Stockpile
Avalanche Observational
documentary taking a look
at people whose homes are
extremely cluttered due to
hoarding, including a woman
whose flat has already been
cleared by the council. (R)
11.05pm Hand Model Millionaires
Exploring the competitive world of
hand modelling, offering a behind-
the-scenes look at photoshoots. (R)
12.05am The Boy with No Face: 6
Months On (R) 1.00 The 21.co.uk Live
Casino Show 3.00 Access 3.10 The
Great British Benefits Handout (R)
4.00 Now That’s Funny! (R) 4.50 House
Doctor (R) 5.10-6.00am The Railways
That Built Britain with Chris Tarrant (R)
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.20 The Piglet Files 7.45 As
Time Goes By 8.25 Only Fools and Horses. Triple
bill. 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple bill.
12.20pm Only Fools and Horses 1.00 Porridge 1.40
Only Fools and Horses 2.20 Porridge 3.00 Only
Fools and Horses 3.40 Dad’s Army 4.20 Last of
the Summer Wine. Triple bill. 6.20 Gavin &
Stacey 7.00 Only Fools and Horses 7.40 Dad’s
Army. Double bill. 9.00 Mrs Brown’s Boys 9.40
Gavin & Stacey 10.20 Live at the Apollo 11.25
Peep Show. Double bill. 12.35am Live at the
Apollo 1.40 Gavin & Stacey 2.15 Peep Show.
Double bill. 3.05 Legends of Stand-Up & Bernard
Righton 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 Yianni: Supercar
Customiser 7.35 Late Nite Eats. Double bill. 8.20
American Pickers 9.20 Storage Hunters 9.50
Expedition with Steve Backshall 10.50 Red Bull
Soapbox Race 11.50 Top Gear: Africa Special
3.00pm Top Gear 4.00 Top Gear India Special
6.00 Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101. Double bill. 8.20
Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 9.20 QI
10.00 Taskmaster: Champion of Champions 11.00
Hypothetical 12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have I
Got a Bit More Old News for You 2.10 Red Dwarf
2.40 Don’t Say It, Bring It. Double bill. 3.30 The
Indestructibles 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130
DRAMA
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 Soldier, Soldier 9.00
The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City 11.00 Classic
Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00 Classic
EastEnders 2.20 London’s Burning 3.20 Monarch
of the Glen 4.20 Where the Heart Is 5.25 Bread
6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As Time Goes By 7.20 Last of
the Summer Wine 8.00 Judge John Deed 10.00
New Tricks 11.20 Waking the Dead 1.55am The Bill
2.45 London’s Burning 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129
6.00am The Normans 7.10 Secrets of the Bible
8.00 Murder Maps 9.00 The Day When 10.00
World War Weird 11.00 Abandoned Engineering
12.00noon Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railway Journeys
1.00 Coast 2.00 Deep Wreck Mysteries 3.00
Abandoned Engineering 4.00 Secrets of the
Railways 5.00 The Day They Dropped the Bomb
6.00 World War Weird 7.00 Abandoned
Engineering 8.00 History Hunters 9.00 The Two
Ronnies 10.50 Porridge 12.50am World War Weird
1.50 The Normans 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2 Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 Coronation Street
8.50 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 9.20 Superstore.
Double bill. 10.15 Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to
Impress 12.15pm Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation
Street 1.15 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 1.50 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45 Dinner Date 3.50
Dress to Impress 4.55 Take Me Out 6.30 You’ve
Been Framed! Gold. Triple bill. 8.00 Two and a
Half Men. Double bill. 9.00 Family Guy. Double
bill. 10.00 Plebs. Double bill. 11.00 Family Guy.
Double bill. 11.55 American Dad! 12.55am Two
and a Half Men 1.50 Ibiza Weekender 2.50 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World Records 3.15 ITV2
Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 11.45am-
12.15pm X-Ray 6.30-7.00pm BBC Wales Today
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.55-2.00pm ITV
News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales
at Six 10.30 ITV News Cymru Wales 10.45-11.15pm
St Davids – Britain’s Smallest City. An aeroplane
pilot makes an emergency landing on
Whitesands beach, while the National Trust
wardens try to round up some wild ponies.
S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05 Ffasiwn Mecanic 12.30 Heno
1.30 Ffermio 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
Tuesday
MARCH 31
The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer, Channel 4, 8pm
ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55 Classic
Emmerdale 7.55 Heartbeat 9.00 Man About the
House 10.00 Rising Damp 10.30 A Touch of Frost
12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic Emmerdale 2.50
Classic Coronation Street 3.55 Midsomer Murders
5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00
Charles: 50 Years a Prince 9.00 Kate: The Making
of a Modern Queen 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 A
Touch of Frost 3.00am Man About the House
3.25 ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 Great Welsh Canal
Adventure with Gareth Edwards 8.00 Digging for
Britain: The Greatest Discoveries 8.30 The Art
Mysteries with Waldemar Januszczak 9.00 Britain
Beneath Your Feet 10.00 Secrets of Orkney:
Britain’s Ancient Capital 11.00 Soup Cans &
Superstars: How Pop Art Changed the World
12.30am A Day in the Life of Andy Warhol 1.30
The Art Mysteries with Waldemar Januszczak
2.00 Digging for Britain: The Greatest Discoveries
2.30-3.30am Britain Beneath Your Feet
SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110
6.00am Monkey Life 7.00 Wild Vets 8.00 The
Dog Whisperer 9.00 Air Ambulance ER 10.00
Highway Patrol 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles. Double
bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 S.W.A.T. 4.00
Modern Family 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama
6.30 The Simpsons 8.00 The Flash 9.00 Strike
Back: Vendetta 10.00 The Trip to Greece 10.35
Hitmen 11.35 A League of Their Own: US Road
Trip 2.0 12.35am An Idiot Abroad 2 1.35 SEAL Team
2.30 The Heist £1Million Bank Job 3.30 Road Wars
4.00 Air Ambulance ER 5.00-6.00am Futurama
SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 7.00
Without a Trace 10.00 The West Wing 12.00noon
Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2.00 The West Wing 4.00 Without a Trace 7.00
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Bloods
9.00 Mildred Pierce 10.15 Six Feet Under. Double
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 3.05 Corau Rhys Meirion 4.00 Awr Fawr:
Blociau Rhif 4.05 Nico Nog 4.15 Sbarc 4.30 Blero
yn Mynd i Ocido 4.45 Deian a Loli 5.00 Stwnsh:
Boom! 5.10 Y Dyfnfor 5.30 Un Cwestiwn 5.50
Ffeil 6.00 Bethesda: Pobol y Chwarel.
Documentary following the lives of some of
the characters who live in the close-knit
quarrying community of Bethesda in Gwynedd,
north Wales. 6.30 Rownd a Rownd. Mel is keen
to try and get to know Ken and Kay better.
Vince receives some news that forces him to
rethink where he stands, and Fflur considers
Llew’s future without her. 7.00 Heno 7.30
Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 8.00 Pobol y Cwm.
bill. 12.30am Banshee 1.30 Californication 2.00
Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 3.00 Banshee
4.10-6.00am The West Wing. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Sky 301 Virgin 401
6.00am  FILM Drunk Parents (2019/15) Comedy.
★★★ 7.50  FILM 10 Minutes Gone (2019/15)
★★★ 9.35  FILM The Runaways (2019/12)
Premiere. ★★★★ 11.35  FILM Rocketman
(2019/15) Elton John biopic. ★★★★ 1.45pm  FILM
Supercon (2018/15) ★★★ 3.35  FILM Her Smell
(2018/15) Drama. ★★★ 6.00  FILM The Runaways
(2019/12) Premiere. Drama. ★★★★ 8.00  FILM
Rocketman (2019/15) Elton John biopic. ★★★★
10.05  FILM Drunk Parents (2019/15) Comedy.
★★★ 11.50  FILM Supercon (2018/15) Action
comedy. ★★★ 1.35am  FILM The Drone (2019/18)
Horror. ★★★ 3.05  FILM Her Smell (2018/15)
★★★ 5.30-6.00am Hotel Mumbai: Special
FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
11.00am Doctor Dolittle (1967/U) ★★★ 1.55pm
The 300 Spartans (1962/PG) ★★★ 4.10 Journey to
the Center of the Earth (1959/U) ★★★★ 6.55
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008/12) ★★★
9.00 xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (2017/12)
Action thriller. ★★★ 11.10 Black Sea (2014/15)
★★★★ 1.25-3.15am 21 & Over (2013/15) ★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
6.00am The Gilded Cage (1955/PG) ★★★ 7.30
The Night We Dropped a Clanger (1959/U) ★★
9.15 Lost in the Desert (1969/U) ★★★ 11.00 The
Rogues 12.00noon Tyneside Story 12.20 I
Remember Mama (1948/U) ★★★★ 2.55 Who
Killed the Cat? (1966/U) ★★★ 4.40 No, My
Darling Daughter (1961/PG) ★★★ 6.40 The
History of the Record Industry: It’s in the
Groove! 7.05 Night Boat to Dublin (1946/PG) ★★
9.00 Reilly: Ace of Spies 10.00 Billy Liar (1963/PG)
★★★★★ 12.00m’t Fear in the Night (1972/12)
★★★ 1.50 Beat Girl (1960/12) ★★ 3.30 Clash by
Night (1963/PG) ★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms
Hywel tries to help Ffion after finding out the
real reason behind her illness. Meanwhile, Ffion
refuses Hywel’s support. 8.25 Rownd a Rownd.
Kelvin tries his best to keep Mel away from Kay,
Vince faces up to unemployment, and Mali
continues to lie to her family, forcing Robbie
into a corner that he cannot get out of. 8.55
Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 9.00 Cynefin.
Heledd Cynwal, Iestyn Jones and Sion Tomos
Owen cross the border to visit Liverpool. Last
in series. 10.00 Walter Presents: Y Godinebwr.
The judge has given the public prosecutor’s
office 30 days to find Willem, and Iris tries to
prove that he did not send the note that she
received. 11.00-11.35pm Helo Syrjeri
TV Timings subject to change because of coronavirus
BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 HealthCheck UK 6.30am Defenders UK (R) 7.15 Money
Live 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) 11.00 Defenders UK
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (R)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (R)
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Al’s April Fool’s
prank does not go to plan.
2.15 London Kills (3/5) Illicit passions
lie behind a staged murder.
3.00 Escape to the Country A
property in Perth & Kinross. (R)
3.45 Money for Nothing Sarah
Moore saves tents, dining chairs
and a dressing screen. (R)
4.30 Antiques Road Trip Charles
Hanson and Christina Trevanion
travel around Yorkshire. (R)
5.15 Pointless Quiz show.
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 The One Show Magazine
show, with stories of interest
from around the UK, plus
celebrity guests in the studio.
7.30 Coronavirus: Your
Essential Update The latest
developments and advice about
Covid-19. With Rachel Burden.
8.00 The Repair Shop The team
brings four treasured family
heirlooms back to life, including
a war-torn leather armchair
and a broken music box.
9.00 MasterChef As Knockout
Week continues, the second
group of eight amateurs
compete for the chance to
cook in a professional kitchen
for the first time. First, the
contestants are challenged to
create a dish for the judges that
they would have on the menu
of their own restaurant, pop-up
or feature in their cookbook.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.45 In My Skin This one-off
comedy drama tells the
coming-of-age story of
16-year-old Bethan Gwyndaf, a
stranger to the truth, who is
dealing with the anxieties and
insecurities of teenage life. (R) 11.15pm Dragons’ Den Entrepreneurs
11.15pm Killing Eve Double bill. The MI5 pitch their money-making ideas to a
officer goes drinking with Niko to get panel of self-made millionaires, who
to know his colleagues; Villanelle and
Konstantin take a trip to Amsterdam
to complete an assignment, and after
another dead body is discovered, Eve
and her new team make a break in
their case. (R) 12.40am London Kills.
Illicit passions lie behind an au pair’s
staged murder. (R) 1.25 Weather for the rescued from shark infested seas. (R)
Week Ahead 1.30-6.00am BBC News
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
for Nothing (R) 8.00  NEW See
Hear. Magazine. 8.30 Villages
by the Sea (R) 9.00 BBC News
at 9 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
1.00pm Hardball Quiz show. (R)
1.45 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is Double bill. (R)
3.15 The TV That Made Me (R)
3.45 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial (R)
4.45 Eggheads Quiz show. (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Burton Constable
Hall in East Yorkshire. (R)
6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
Games Susie Dent, Nick Owen,
Chemmy Alcott and Dane
Baptiste compete. (R)
6.30 Animal Park Kidney disease
claims the life of a koala. (R)
7.00 The Hairy Bikers’
Mediterranean Adventure
Si King and Dave Myers search
for the flavours of several
Mediterranean countries,
beginning in Italy, where they
taste simple local ingredients
and spicy nduja pate. (R)
8.00 Great British Menu Chefs
Gordon Jones, Roberta Hall,
Ross Bryans and Amy Elles
compete in the heats for
Scotland, each preparing
starters and fish courses.
9.00 Growing Up Gifted (2/2) The
conclusion of the documentary
follows three gifted teenage
girls, as they make decisions
about their futures. Anne Marie 9.00 The Trouble with Maggie
is more settled after moving in
with her friend, Jada prepares
for her A Levels, and Shakira has
got to make up lost ground if
she is to achieve the high grades.
10.00 Mister Winner (2/6) When
one of his painters call in sick,
Leslie’s father-in-law Chris
agrees to let him take on a
decorating job for a couple.
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the
day’s events with Emily Maitlis.
are prepared to invest their company’s
money in the scheme if they think it
could work. (R) 12.15am See Hear (R)
12.45 Race Across the World. The
teams head to their next checkpoint in
Panama City. (R) 1.45 Hospital (R) 2.45
Saved on Camera. Two friends are
3.15-6.30am This Is BBC Two
ITV Channel 4
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Good Morning Britain 6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat. Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
12.30pm Loose Women Topical debate (R) 10.10 Undercover Boss USA
(R) 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
from a female perspective. Nightmares USA (R) 12.05pm
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather Come Dine with Me (R)
1.55 Regional News; Weather 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers An unusual
2.00 Judge Rinder Real-life cases. mechanical calculator. (R)
3.00 Tenable A team of five 2.10 Countdown Word game.
friends take part in the quiz, 3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
hosted by Warwick Davis. (R) 4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY
4.00 Tipping Point Coin-drop quiz. 5.00 Four in a Bed The third visit is
5.00 The Chase Bradley Walsh to Hotel Vienna, Blackpool.
presents as contestants Oli, Jan, 5.30 Come Dine with Me In Essex. (R)
Peter and Stella work as a team 6.00 The Simpsons Sideshow
to take on one of the ruthless Bob is released from prison.
Chasers and secure a cash prize. With Kelsey Grammer. (R)
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 Hollyoaks Felix and Mitchell
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather finally make plans to meet up. (R)
7.00 Emmerdale Billy and Cain 7.00 Channel 4 News Including
are stunned to discover that the latest sport and weather.
Will has stolen the 4x4. 8.00 Location, Location,
7.30 Coronation Street Alya Location Kirstie Allsopp and
tackles Geoff about his lies, Phil Spencer guide prospective
and Ken demands a copy of buyers in Yorkshire. Kirstie
the rulebook from Charles. meets Leeds locals Mia and Jack,
8.00 Kate & Koji (3/6) Despite Kate who are ready to move out of
being sued after an accident in Mia’s family home. Elsewhere,
the cafe, she refuses to back Phil is tasked to find a four
down and Koji is reluctant to get bedroom home for childhood
involved. Brenda Blethyn stars. sweethearts Rachel and Chris.
8.30 Paul O’Grady: For the Love 9.00 The Undateables (4/5)
of Dogs Paul meets seven Revisiting three familiar faces
staffie puppies whose mother who are still looking for love,
has rejected them, before he and one former singleton who is
visits a 13-year-old mongrel who now engaged and is getting
was found on the streets. (R) married. Charlotte, who has
autism, is moving out of her
Cole (5/6) Maggie and her family home and is looking for a
daughter-in-law share a rare life partner. Meanwhile, train-
moment of bonding. Karen lover Richard from Warwickshire
reveals her feelings for Peter is still searching for someone
in a very unexpected way. to share his life with.
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.00 Feel Good (3/6) George’s
A fresh perspective on the reluctance to tell her friends
major stories of the day. about Mae is taking its toll.
10.30 Regional News; Weather Later, Mae gets an offer that is
10.45 Peston Political magazine show difficult for her to turn down.
presented by Robert Peston, 10.30 The Great Celebrity Bake
featuring major interviews with Off for Stand Up to
MPs, guests and cultural figures. Cancer James Blunt, Alison
11.40pm Robbie Lyle – Football Fans Hammond, Alex Jones and Joe
Under Their Skin Arsenal fan Robbie Sugg take on the challenge. (R)
Lyle looks at racism directed at 11.45pm Gogglebox TV critiques. (R)
football supporters, revealing how he 12.45am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
has been abused and†meeting others USA (R) 1.35 The Windsors (R) 2.05
speaking out for the first time about Putin: A Russian Spy Story (R) 3.00
their experiences of racism in football Coronavirus: Can Our NHS Cope? –
– both in the past and today. 12.30am Dispatches (R) 3.30 Couples Come
Home Shopping 3.00 Broadchurch. Dine with Me (R) 4.25 Location,
Drama. (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen Location, Location (R) 5.20 Beat the
5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R) Chef (R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Bad Tenants, Rogue
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News at
Lunchtime 12.15 Bargain-Loving
Brits in the Sun. Wayne and Des
organise a charity fundraiser. (R)
1.10 Access. Showbiz news.
1.15 Home and Away See 6.00pm.
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 The Killer Downstairs (2019/PG)
Premiere. Thriller, starring Cindy
Busby and Marcus Rosner. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Kyle dreads
returning to the place he
worked with Gary. (R)
6.00 Home and Away Dean invites
Ziggy to move in with him. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Britain: A Year in the Wild
The large number of rivers that
criss-cross the UK, providing a
rich habitat for wildlife including
dipper birds, Atlantic salmon,
otters and beavers. (R)
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors
(3/42) Dr Sobia Wyne has a list
of possible causes for a patient’s
eye infection, and a woman
who has had knee replacement
surgery may have developed
deep vein thrombosis.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Casualty 24/7 (2/20) One of
the department’s new junior
doctors treats a man with a
suspected case of sepsis, that
has been triggered by his
tracheostomy tube. An
84-year-old woman is brought
in by ambulance after falling
down a flight of stairs.
10.00 Drag Queen Dwarf &
Other Little Britons (1/3)
Documentary following people
living with dwarfism. Jamie
John, the UK’s only dwarf drag
queen, plans to perform at
Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
11.05pm The Murder Next Door
The story of an elderly couple
killed by a neighbour. 12.05am Police
Interceptors. A speeding car crashes,
leaving a passenger trapped inside. (R) News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales
1.00 The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show
3.00 Access 3.10 The Dog Rescuers
with Alan Davies. An inspector
handrears two day-old puppies. (R)
4.00 Cruising with Jane McDonald (R)
4.45 House Doctor (R) 5.10 Great
Artists (R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R) Tywydd 3.05 Noson Lawen 4.00 Awr Fawr: Bing
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 Lucky Feller 7.45 The
Green Green Grass 8.20 Only Fools and Horses.
Triple bill. 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple
bill. 12.20pm Only Fools and Horses 1.00 Porridge
1.40 Only Fools and Horses 2.20 The Green
Green Grass 3.00 Only Fools and Horses 3.40
Dad’s Army 4.20 Last of the Summer Wine.
Triple bill. 6.20 The Green Green Grass 7.00 Only
Fools and Horses 7.40 Dad’s Army. Double bill.
9.00 Gavin & Stacey. Double bill. 10.20 Not
Going Out 11.00 Peep Show. Double bill.
12.00m’t Gavin & Stacey 12.40 Not Going Out
1.20 Peep Show 1.55 Legends of Stand-Up &
Bernard Righton 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Late Nite Eats. Triple
bill. 8.20 American Pickers: Best Of 9.20 Storage
Hunters 9.50 Expedition with Steve Backshall
10.50 Top Gear 11.50 Red Bull Soapbox Race
12.50pm Top Gear India Special 2.50 Top Gear
Patagonia Special 6.00 Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101
8.15 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 9.20 QI
9.55 Comedy Against Living Miserably 11.00 Dara
O Briain’s Go 8 Bit 12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have
I Got a Bit More News for You 2.10 Red Dwarf
2.40 Don’t Say It, Bring It. Double bill. 3.30 The
Indestructibles 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DRAMA Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier.
Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City
11.00 Classic Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00
Classic EastEnders. Double bill. 2.20 London’s
Burning 3.20 Monarch of the Glen 4.20 Where
the Heart Is 5.20 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As
Time Goes By 7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
8.00 Inspector George Gently 10.00 New Tricks
11.15 Waking the Dead 1.35am The Bill 2.35
Monarch of the Glen 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129
6.00am The Normans. Double bill. 8.00 Murder
Maps 9.00 The Day They Dropped the Bomb
10.00 World War Weird 11.00 Abandoned
Engineering 12.00noon Secrets of the Railways
1.00 Coast 2.00 Deep Wreck Mysteries 3.00
Abandoned Engineering 4.00 Secrets of the
Railways 5.00 Hitler’s Propaganda Machine 6.00
World War Weird 7.00 Abandoned Engineering
8.00 Impossible Engineering 9.00 Porridge. Triple
bill. 11.00 Secrets of the Railways 12.00m’t
Abandoned Engineering 1.00 World War Weird
2.00 The Normans 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2 Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold: Unleashed! 9.20 Superstore 10.15 Dinner
Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm Emmerdale
12.45 You’ve Been Framed! Gold: Yearbook 1.50
The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45 Dinner Date 3.50
Dress to Impress 4.55 Take Me Out 6.00 You’ve
Been Framed! Gold. Four episodes. 8.00 Two and
a Half Men 9.00 Family Guy. Double bill. 10.00
Celebrity Juice: Birthday Superhero Special 10.50
Family Guy 11.45 American Dad! 12.45am  FILM
Contagion (2011/12) Thriller. ★★★★ 2.55 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World Records 3.20 ITV2
Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-7.00pm
BBC Wales Today. Headlines and reports.
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.55-2.00pm ITV
at Six 10.30-10.45pm ITV News Cymru Wales
S4C 6.00am Cyw 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Heini
11.15 Peppa 11.20 Yn yr Ardd 11.35 Twm Tisian 11.45
Sbarc 12.00noon Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
12.05 Bywyd y Fet 12.30 Heno 1.00 Cwymp yr
Ymerodraethau 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Wednesday
APRIL 1
Mister Winner, BBC Two, 10pm
ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117
6.00am Classic Coronation Street. Double bill.
6.55 Classic Emmerdale 7.55 Heartbeat 8.55 Man
About the House 10.00 Rising Damp 10.25 A
Touch of Frost 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic
Emmerdale. Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation
Street. Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55
Heartbeat 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. Double
bill. 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 A Touch of Frost.
Double bill. 3.05am Man About the House 3.25
ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 Handmade in
Japan 8.00 Six Wives with Lucy Worsley
9.00  FILM George Best: All By Himself (2016/PG)
★★★★ 10.30 Van Meegeren: The Forger Who
Fooled the Nazis 12.00m’t Sword, Musket &
Machine Gun: Britain’s Armed History 1.00 Arena
– Kusama: Infinity 2.10-3.40am  FILM George
Best: All By Himself (2016/PG) Documentary
about the football superstar. ★★★★
SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110
6.00am Monkey Life 7.00 Wild Vets 8.00 The
Dog Whisperer 9.00 Air Ambulance ER 10.00
Highway Patrol 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles. Double
bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 S.W.A.T. 4.00
Modern Family 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama
6.30 The Simpsons 8.00 Arrow 9.00 SEAL Team
10.00 Hitmen 10.30 Breeders 11.00 Micky Flanagan
– An’ Another Fing Live 1.00am The Heist
£1Million Bank Job 2.00 The Force: Manchester
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 4.00 Air Ambulance ER
5.00-6.00am Futurama. Double bill.
SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 7.00
Without a Trace 10.00 The West Wing 12.00noon
Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2.00 The West Wing 4.00 Without a Trace. Triple
bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue
Bloods 9.00  NEW Save Me Too. Return of the
critically-acclaimed drama. 10.00 Sharp Objects
11.05 Westworld 12.15am The End 12.55 Boardwalk
4.10 Timpo 4.20 Halibalw 4.30 Sion y Chef 4.40
Ahoi! The pupils from Ysgol Glan Morfa help
Bendant and Cadi face Capten Cnec’s
challenges. 5.00 Stwnsh: Y Brodyr Adrenalini 5.10
Henri Helynt 5.20 Mwydro 5.30 Cog1nio. The
finale of the cooking contest. 5.50 Ffeil 6.00
Adre. Nia Parry visits the home of Welsh singers
Tony ac Aloma, to see how much the house
reflects their character. 6.30 Heno. Magazine
programme. 7.30 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
8.00 Y Byd ar Bedwar. Current affairs
programme. Dot Davies presents the latest on
the coronavirus crisis. 8.25 Y Sioe Fwyd.
Culinary series, with Ifan Jones Evans and Hywel
Griffith. Guest Aled Pugh tastes chocolate-
Empire. Double bill. 3.10 Californication. Double
bill. 4.20-6.00am The West Wing. Double bill.
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Sky 301 Virgin 401
6.00am  FILM Havana Darkness (2018/15) Thriller,
starring Carolina Ravassa. ★★★ 7.45  FILM The
Runaways (2019/12) Drama. ★★★★ 9.50  FILM
Through the Fire (2018/PG) Drama. ★★★★
12.00noon  FILM Rocketman (2019/15) Elton John
biopic. ★★★★ 2.15  FILM Inside Man: Most
Wanted (2019/15) Crime thriller. ★★★ 4.15  FILM
The Runaways (2019/12) Drama. ★★★★ 6.15  FILM
Supercon (2018/15) Action comedy. ★★★
8.00  FILM Rocketman (2019/15) Elton John
biopic. ★★★★ 10.15  FILM Heretiks (2018/18)
Premiere. Historical horror. ★★ 11.45  FILM Drunk
Parents (2019/15) Comedy. ★★★ 1.30am  FILM
The Drone (2019/18) Horror. ★★★ 3.00  FILM Her
Smell (2018/15) Drama. ★★★ 5.30-6.00am The
Hurricane Heist: The Eye of the Storm
FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
11.00am Sword of Sherwood Forest (1960/U) ★★
12.40pm Pimpernel Smith (1941/U) ★★★★ 3.00
Dark Command (1940/U) ★★ 4.50 The Lady
Vanishes (1979/PG) ★★ 6.55 Big Stone Gap
(2014/12) ★★★ 9.00 Dodgeball: A True Underdog
Story (2004/12) ★★★ 10.50 13 Hours: The Secret
Soldiers of Benghazi (2016/15) ★★ 1.40-3.40am
Leaning into the Wind (2017/PG) ★★★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
6.00am Front Line Kids (1942/U) ★★★ 7.35
Dateline Diamonds (1965/12) ★★ 9.05 Left Right
and Centre (1959/U) ★★ 11.00 The Rogues
12.00noon Fame Is the Spur (1947/PG) ★★★ 2.15
You Will Remember (1941/U) ★★★ 4.05 One
Jump Ahead (1955/PG) ★★★ 5.25 A Boy, a Girl
and a Bike (1949/PG) ★★ 7.15 Home at Seven
(1952/U) ★★★ 9.00 Rumpole of the Bailey 10.05
Jack the Ripper 12.10am Cry, the Beloved Country
(1951/PG) ★★★★ 2.20 Break-In 3.15 Double
Confession (1950/PG) ★★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms
flavour Welsh stout and helps cook halibut and
home-made pasta. 8.55 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 9.00 Ysgol Ni: Maesincla. In the final
episode of the series, summer approaches
and the school Prom is being held to say
goodbye to year six. Last in series. 10.00 Priodas
Pum Mil. Plans for the wedding of Deiniol and
Sorrell from Caernarfon. The groom is a big
fan of fantasy television series full of dragons
and castles, but the bride is not so keen.
11.00-11.35pm Cymoedd Roy Noble. Roy travels
to Cwmtawe in Craig y Nos with actress
Toni Carrol. He also visits Cwmgiedd to learn
more about ‘The Silent Village’ – a Nazi
propaganda film shot there in the 1940s.
TV Timings subject to change because of coronavirus

BBC One BBC Two ITV Channel 4

FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 HealthCheck UK 6.30am Defenders UK (R) 7.15 Bargain
Live 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) 11.00 Defenders UK
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (R)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (R)
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Rob and PC Dajani
investigate an arson case.
2.15 London Kills (4/5) DI Bradford
receives some bad news.
3.00 Escape to the Country Alistair
Appleton is in rural Somerset
with two sport enthusiasts. (R)
3.45 Money for Nothing Items
include a drop-arm sofa. (R)
4.30 Antiques Road Trip Christina
Trevanion and Charles Hanson
travel around Yorkshire. (R)
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz.
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 The One Show Alex Jones
and Alex Scott host the live
magazine show, featuring a
mixture of celebrity chat
and stories of interest.
8.00 Question Time Fiona
Bruce chairs the topical
debate, inviting a panel of
politicians and other guests
to answer topical questions.
9.00 Noughts + Crosses (5/6) The
McGregors receive devastating
news that rocks their family,
while Kamal is inaugurated as
prime minister and tightens
racial laws across Albion. Sephy
desperately tries to get through
to Callum, but he is being pulled
further and further into the
Liberation Militia. As Callum
takes matters into his own
hands, Meggie introduces the
Hadleys to someone who makes
Sephy question everything.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.45 New Tricks Danny and Steve
‘welcome’ new boss Ted Case
into the UCOS office in Sasha’s
absence. While trying to work
one another out, the team
treads carefully in the case of a 10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the
murdered vicar who received
racist hate mail in the lead up
to his death. With emotions
running high, it’s up to Ted to
pull together his new unit and
keep the peace in one of
UCOS’s most sensitive cases. (R) decisions about their futures. (R) 1.15
11.45pm London Kills The shooting of Super Powered Eagles. The science
two men links a slick casino owner to
a suffering woman and her rash son. (R) eagles, the most powerful birds in the
12.30am Weather for the Week Ahead sky. (R) 2.15 MasterChef: double bill (R)
12.35-6.00am BBC News. Headlines.
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
Hunt (R) 8.00 Antiques
Roadshow (R) 9.00 BBC News
at 9 10.00 Victoria Derbyshire
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
1.00pm Hardball Quiz show. (R)
1.45 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is In Belgium. (R)
2.30 Best Bakes Ever (R)
3.15 The TV That Made Me With
Citizen Khan star Adil Ray. (R)
3.45 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial (R)
4.45 Eggheads Quiz show. (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Nottingham. (R)
6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
Games Trivia-based quiz. (R)
6.30 Animal Park Iggy Pop the
iguana has a mystery tail
injury requiring surgery. (R)
7.00 Yorkshire Wolds Way
with Paul Rose Explorer
Paul Rose takes a journey along
the Yorkshire Wolds Way,
arguably Britain’s least well-
known national trail. (R)
7.30 Villages by the Sea
Archaeologist Ben Robinson
examines the history of
Lancashire village Sunderland
Point, which was once a
busy port and instrumental
in the slave trade. (R)
8.00 Great British Menu The
Scottish chefs serve up their
mains and desserts celebrating
children’s literature, including an
attempt to replicate Desperate
Dan’s famous cow pie.
9.00 Hospital (8/8) A look at
treatments and surgeries
offering cancer patients hopes
of survival, featuring two-year-
old Yeshua, who has a tumour.
10.00 Live at the Apollo
Glaswegian comedian Frankie
Boyle takes to the stage at
London’s Hammersmith Apollo,
and introduces rising stars Jack
Carroll and Holly Walsh. (R)
day’s events, with Kirsty Wark.
11.15pm Growing Up Gifted Double bil
of the documentary following three
gifted teenagers, Liam, Kian and
Jamarley, as they prepare to finish
secondary school and make important
behind the extraordinary abilities of
3.45-6.30am This Is BBC Two. Previews.
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103
6.00am Good Morning Britain
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news.
10.00 This Morning Celebrity
chat and lifestyle features.
12.30pm Loose Women The women
put the world to rights.
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather
1.55 Regional News; Weather
2.00 Judge Rinder Real-life cases
heard in a studio courtroom.
3.00 Tenable A family from
Newcastle answers questions
about top 10 lists, then tries
to score a perfect 10. (R)
4.00 Tipping Point Coin-drop quiz.
5.00 The Chase Kathryn, Anne, Jane
and Henry take on the Chaser.
6.00 Regional News; Weather
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather
7.00 Emmerdale Malone quietly
seethes when the police
discover his 4x4 smoldering in a
field, and Will hides when Cain
comes knocking at Woodbine.
7.30 Trump and the Virus:
America in Crisis – Tonight
How the coronavirus pandemic
has affected President’s
Trump’s chances of re-election.
8.00 Griff’s Great Australian
Adventure (4/6) Griff Rhys
Jones seeks to uncover what
makes ‘the good life’.
8.30 Secrets of the Driving Test
(1/6) The world of the driving
test, filmed over two years.
9.00 Gordon, Gino and Fred:
American Road Trip (1/4)
Gordon Ramsay, Gino D’Acampo
and Fred Sirieix are in Mexico,
looking for the world’s best
breakfast, they try wrestling
and have a beach buggy race.
10.15 ITV News; Weather A fresh
perspective on the major stories
of the day, featuring national
and international news.
10.45 Regional News; Weather
11.00pm Heathrow: Britain’s Busiest
Airport Security Officer Estefania
investigates an oddly shaped object.
(R) 11.30 Liar. Andrew is pushed to the
edge and concocts a plan to take
drastic measures, while a vital piece of with a student who has a fascination
evidence comes to light and Laura
seeks to discover its origin. (R) 12.25am strangers. (R) 12.00m’t The Undateables
Belgravia. Anne and James are at
loggerheads following the revelations
at the party. (R) 1.15 Home Shopping
3.00 Trump and the Virus: America in
Crisis – Tonight (R) 3.25 Nightscreen
5.05-6.00am Judge Rinder (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
(R) 10.10 Undercover Boss USA
(R) 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (R)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
2.10 Countdown Word game.
3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY
5.00 Four in a Bed Cara and Jamie
Kimpton invite their rivals
to Pollards Inn in Cheshire.
5.30 Come Dine with Me An
Egyptian-themed evening.
6.00 The Simpsons Double bill.
Lisa babysits Bart; alcohol is
outlawed in Springfield. With
the voice of Joe Mantegna. (R)
7.00 Channel 4 News
8.00 How to Beat – Fat
Kate Quilton and Dr Javid
Abdelmoneim invite 10
volunteers with a history of
failed dieting to take part in an
experiment, to find out if simple
lifestyle techniques can help
them lose weight in just six
weeks. They also explore why
increasingly plant-based diets
are being used in sports.
9.00 Born to Be Different (2/2)
Emily is working the hospital
wards as part of her course, and
although she is doing great, her
disability is throwing up some
challenges. Zoe is struggling with
her law degree. Although she is
giving it her all, she is not sure
that university is for her after all.
However, things are much more
serious for William and Shelbie,
whose futures remain uncertain.
10.00 21 Kids and Counting
Documentary following Britain’s
largest family in the lead up to
the birth of their 10th daughter,
as cameras return to their
chaotic and fascinating family
home in Lancashire. (R)
11.00pm First Dates A musician is not
afraid to put on a show for the whole
restaurant when he goes on a date
with serial killers and a fear of
(R) 1.00 Five Guys a Week (R) 1.55
Couples Come Dine with Me (R) 2.45
Feel Good (R) 3.15 Coast vs Country (R)
4.05 Grand Designs Australia (R)
4.55 Location, Location, Location
(R) 5.50-6.30am Countdown (R)
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Bad Tenants, Rogue
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News at
Lunchtime 12.15 Bargain-Loving
Brits in the Sun (R) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away
See 6.00pm. (R)
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 Boyfriend Killer (2017/15)
Thriller, starring Barbie Castro
and Dane Rhodes. ★★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Elly and Bea
watch Finn’s video diaries. (R)
6.00 Home and Away Jasmine finds
a visit to Tori about Robbo’s will
cathartic and Willow has second
thoughts about leaving. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 Secrets of the Royal Flight
Examining the royal family’s
history with air travel, from
the first King’s Flight in 1936
to the modern-day journeys
undertaken by Queen Elizabeth
II. (R) Followed by News Update
8.00 Secrets of Your
Supermarket Food (3/8)
Sian Williams and Stefan Gates
investigate whether fresh fruit
and vegetables really are the
best option, and whether
some five-a-day favourites
work out cheaper, tastier and
more nutritious when frozen.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 10 Years Younger in 10 Days
(5/6) A woman gets help erasing
the scars left by skin cancer
and help reversing the effects
of severe hair loss. A dentist
tackles a man’s gum disease
after years of heavy smoking.
10.00 When Plastic Surgery Goes
Horribly Wrong First-hand
accounts from people who had
bad experiences when they
underwent plastic surgery,
including a woman whose filler
injection hit an artery in her lips,
and a man left with physical
scars after undergoing seven
operations for his hair loss. (R)
11.35pm Joanna Dennehy: Killing for
Kicks The motivations and background News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales
of serial killer Joanna Dennehy, who
murdered three men. (R) 1.00am The
21.co.uk Live Casino Show 3.00 Access the sheep that have been called the cutest in
3.10 Bargain-Loving Brits in the Sun (R) the11.00-11.30pm  NEW Secrets of the Driving Test
4.00 Cruising with Jane McDonald (R)
4.45 House Doctor (R) 5.10 Great
Artists (R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R) 1.30 Dan Do 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 Lucky Feller 7.45 The
Green Green Grass 8.20 Only Fools and Horses.
Triple bill. 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple
bill. 12.20pm Only Fools and Horses 1.00 Porridge
1.40 Only Fools and Horses 2.20 The Green
Green Grass 3.00 Only Fools and Horses 3.40
Dad’s Army 4.20 Last of the Summer Wine.
Triple bill. 6.20 The Green Green Grass 7.00 Only
Fools and Horses 7.40 Dad’s Army. Double bill.
9.00 Gavin & Stacey. Double bill. 10.20 Not
Going Out 11.00 Peep Show. Double bill. 12.05am
Gavin & Stacey. Double bill. 1.20 Not Going Out
2.00 Legends of Stand-Up & Bernard Righton.
Double bill. 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 American Pickers: Best
Of 8.10 Storage Hunters 8.40 Expedition with
Steve Backshall 9.40 Top Gear 10.40 Red Bull
Soapbox Race 11.40 Top Gear Patagonia Special
2.50pm Top Gear: From A-Z 6.00 Taskmaster
7.00 Room 101. Double bill. 8.20 Have I Got a
Bit More Old News for You 9.20 QI 10.00 Meet
the Richardsons 10.40 QI 11.20 Mock the Week
12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00 Have I Got a Bit More
Old News for You 2.00 Red Dwarf 2.35 Don’t
Say It, Bring It 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130
DRAMA
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier.
Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City
11.00 Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00 Classic
EastEnders. Double bill. 2.20 London’s Burning
3.20 Monarch of the Glen 4.20 Where the Heart
Is 5.20 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As Time Goes
By 7.20 Last of the Summer Wine 8.00 The
Inspector Lynley Mysteries 10.00 New Tricks 11.20
Waking the Dead 1.35am The Bill 2.30 Monarch
of the Glen 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129
6.00am The Normans. Double bill. 8.00 Murder
Maps 9.00 Hitler’s Propaganda Machine 10.00
World War Weird 11.00 Abandoned Engineering
12.00noon Secrets of the Railways 1.00 Coast
2.00 The True Story of the Mary Celeste 3.00
Abandoned Engineering 4.00 Secrets of the
Railways 5.00 Hitler’s Propaganda Machine 6.00
World War Weird 7.00 Abandoned Engineering
8.00 Bangers and Cash 9.00 Warbird Workshop
10.00 Narrow Escapes of World War Two 11.00
Secrets of the Railways 12.00m’t Abandoned
Engineering 1.00 World War Weird 2.00 The
Normans 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV2 Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 Coronation Street
8.50 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 9.20 Superstore
10.15 Dinner Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm
Emmerdale 12.45 Coronation Street 1.15 You’ve
Been Framed! Gold 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 2.45 Dinner Date 3.50 Dress to Impress
4.50 Take Me Out 6.00 Funniest Ever You’ve
Been Framed! Gold 8.00 Two and a Half Men
9.00  FILM Pitch Perfect (2012/12) Comedy,
starring Anna Kendrick. ★★★★ 11.15 Family Guy
12.20am American Dad! 1.10 The Stand Up Sketch
Show 1.40 Two and a Half Men 2.40 CelebAbility
3.15 ITV2 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-7.00pm
BBC Wales Today. Headlines and reports.
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.55-2.00pm ITV
at Six 8.30-9.00 Coast & Country. Exploring one
of Wales’ most romantic islands, and a focus on
world. 10.45 ITV News Cymru Wales
S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05 Pobol y Rhondda 12.30 Heno
Thursday
APRIL 2
Gordon, Gino and Fred: American Road Trip, ITV, 9pm
ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55 Classic
Emmerdale 7.55 Heartbeat 8.55 Man About the
House. Double bill. 10.00 Rising Damp 10.30 A
Touch of Frost 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 Classic
Emmerdale. Double bill. 2.50 Classic Coronation
Street. Double bill. 3.55 Midsomer Murders 5.55
Heartbeat 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00
Lewis 10.00 Scott & Bailey 11.00 A Touch of Frost.
Double bill. 3.00am Man About the House 3.25
ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days 7.30 The Wonder of
Animals 8.00  NEW How to Make: The Trainer
9.00 Mark Kermode: Secrets of Cinema: Spies
10.00 Pinewood: 80 Years of Movie Magic 11.00
Score: Cinema’s Greatest Soundtracks 12.35am
Our Classical Century 1.35 Cinema Through the
Eye of Magnum Photos 2.30 The Wonder of
Animals 3.00-4.00am How to Make: The Trainer
SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110
6.00am Monkey Life 7.00 Wild Vets 8.00 The
Dog Whisperer 9.00 Air Ambulance ER 10.00
Highway Patrol 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 1.00pm
Hawaii Five-0 3.00 S.W.A.T. 4.00 Modern Family
5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 6.30 The
Simpsons 8.00  NEW DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.
The adventure returns. 9.00 A League of Their
Own 10.00 Breeders 10.30 Bulletproof 11.30 An
Idiot Abroad 2 12.30am The Force: Manchester
1.30 Road Wars 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 4.00 Air
Ambulance ER 5.00-6.00am Futurama
SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 7.00
Without a Trace. Triple bill. 10.00 The West
Wing. Double bill. 12.00noon Blue Bloods 1.00
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 2.00 The West
Wing. Double bill. 4.00 Without a Trace. Triple
bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue
Bloods 9.00 The Tunnel 11.00 The Sopranos.
Double bill. 1.30am Babylon Berlin. Double bill.
3.30 Californication 4.05-6.00am The West Wing
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd 3.05 Cynefin 4.00 Awr Fawr: Blociau Rhif
4.05 Meic y Marchog 4.20 Y Brodyr Coala 4.30
Blero yn Mynd i Ocido 4.45 Sigldigwt 5.00
Stwnsh: Sbargo 5.05 SpynjBob Pantsgwar 5.15
Arthur a Chriw y Ford Gron 5.25 Lolipop 5.50
Ffeil 6.00 Helo Syrjeri. Dr Gwynfor Evans advises
local rugby player Rhys, who fears he may have
broken his hand during a match and Dr Mair
Parry gets a visit from a schoolboy diagnosed
with cerebral palsy. 6.30 Rownd a Rownd. Kelvin
tries his best to keep Mel away from Kay, Vince
faces up to unemployment, and Mali continues
to lie to her family, forcing Robbie into a corner
that he cannot get out of. 7.00 Heno
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Sky 301 Virgin 401
6.00am  FILM Through the Fire (2018/PG) Drama,
starring Pierre Niney. In French. ★★★★
8.00  FILM Inside Man: Most Wanted (2019/15)
Crime thriller. ★★★ 9.55  FILM Her Smell
(2018/15) Drama. ★★★ 12.15pm  FILM Rocketman
(2019/15) Elton John biopic. ★★★★ 2.20 Free
Preview Frozen 2 2.35  FILM A Simple Wedding
(2019/12) Premiere. Romantic comedy. ★★
4.15  FILM The Runaways (2019/12) Drama, starring
Mark Addy. ★★★★ 6.15  FILM Drunk Parents
(2019/15) Comedy. ★★★ 8.00  FILM Rocketman
(2019/15) Elton John biopic, with Taron Egerton.
★★★★ 10.15  FILM A Simple Wedding (2019/12)
Premiere. Romantic comedy. ★★ 12.00m’t  FILM
Heretiks (2018/18) Historical horror. ★★ 1.30  FILM
Supercon (2018/15) Action comedy. ★★★
3.15  FILM Inside Man: Most Wanted (2019/15)
Crime thriller. ★★★ 5.15 The 2020 Top Ten Show
5.30-6.00am Hotel Mumbai: Special
FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
11.00am The Man from the Alamo (1953/U)
★★★★ 12.40pm Charade (1963/PG) ★★★★★
2.55 Flying Tigers (1942/PG) ★★ 5.05 Night
Passage (1957/U) ★★ 6.55 X-Men: The Last Stand
(2006/12) ★★★ 9.00 Atomic Blonde (2017/15) Spy
thriller. ★★★★ 11.15 Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
(2014/18) Crime thriller sequel. ★★★ 1.20-3.20am
The Last Days on Mars (2013/15) ★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
6.00am Final Appointment (1954/PG) ★★★ 7.20
Faces in the Dark (1960/PG) ★★ 9.00 Serious
Charge (1959/PG) ★★ 11.00 The Rogues
12.00noon Defence of the Realm (1985/PG)
★★★ 2.00 Rooms 2.30 A Stitch in Time (1963/U)
★★ 4.30 Jungle Book (1942/U) ★★★ 6.40 Night
Shift 7.00 On the Night of the Fire (1940/U)
★★★ 9.00 Funny Man 10.00 Jack the Ripper
12.00m’t The Big Money (1956/U) ★★ 1.45
Sprockets 2.15 This Sporting Life (1963/15)
★★★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms. Double bill.
7.30 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 8.00 Pobol y
Cwm. Hywel promises to keep Ffion’s secret
– on one condition. 8.25 Rownd a Rownd. Barry
quizzes Aled about Carys’s business
arrangement with Wyn, leaving Aled to do
some quick thinking. Lowri feels she has no
choice but to tell Elen about Mali’s secret. 8.55
Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 9.00 Bethesda:
Pobol y Chwarel. Maintenance officer Adam
Quaeck discusses life in Bethesda. 9.30 Cymry ar
Gynfas. A portrait of musician and archaeologist
Rhys Mwyn. 10.00 Drych. Documentary
following actor and comedian Iwan John and his
uncertain future, as he waits for a new kidney
via a transplant operation. 11.00-11.35pm Hansh
TV Timings subject to change because of coronavirus

BBC One BBC Two ITV Channel 4

FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 HealthCheck UK 6.30am Defenders UK (R) 7.15 Escape
Live 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) 11.00 Defenders UK
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (R)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt
1.00 BBC News; Regional News
1.45 Doctors Things fail to go to
plan when Emma and Jasmine
go for a nice evening out.
2.15 London Kills (5/5) The man
who knew the fate of DI
Bradford’s wife is found dead.
3.00 Escape to the Country Hunting
for a home in Shropshire. (R)
3.45 Money for Nothing (R)
4.30 Antiques Road Trip The
last leg of a journey from
Morecambe to Newcastle. (R)
5.15 Pointless Low-scoring quiz. (R)
6.00 BBC News; Regional News
7.00 The One Show Presented by
Alex Jones and Alex Scott.
7.30 A Question of Sport
With Peter Wright, Sarah Storey,
Dion Dublin and Steve Harmison.
8.00 Miranda The shop owner’s
friends accuse her of being
immature – so she sets out
to prove them wrong. (R)
8.30 MasterChef Ten amateur
cooks are challenged to make
canapes or party food to reach
the semi-final stages. With John
Torode and Gregg Wallace.
9.00 Have I Got News for You
Steph McGovern hosts as the
satirical quiz returns, with guests
Helen Lewis and Miles Jupp.
9.30 Peter Kay’s Comedy
Shuffle (2/5) Peter makes
another erratic appearance on
Jonathan Ross’ show, while
there’s a special appearance by
Sheridan Smith and the Script.
10.00 BBC News; Regional News
10.45 Sliding Doors (1998/15)
A London woman’s entire future
hinges on whether or not she
catches a train. In one version of
events, she gets the chance to
start afresh and lead a happy
new life, but in the other she is
stuck supporting her lazy,
unfaithful boyfriend. Comedy
drama, presenting two
parallel stories featuring
the same character. Starring
Gwyneth Paltrow. ★★★★
12.20am London Kills. The man who
knew the fate of DI Bradford’s wife is
found dead. Last in series. (R) 1.05
Weather for the Week Ahead. Reports. Panorama (R) 1.50 Murder 24/7 (R)
1.10-6.00am BBC News. Breaking news. 2.50-6.35am This Is BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
to the Country (R) 8.00 Back in
Time for the Corner Shop (R)
9.00 BBC News at 9 10.00
Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC
Newsroom Live. Headlines.
1.00pm Hardball Quiz show. (R)
1.45 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is Antiques challenge. (R)
2.30 Best Bakes Ever A selection of
recipes from television chefs. (R)
3.15 The TV That Made Me (R)
3.45 Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial (R)
4.45 Eggheads Quiz show. (R)
5.15 Flog It! From Newby Hall.
6.00 Richard Osman’s House of
Games With Susie Dent. (R)
6.30 Animal Park Ben Fogle and Kate 6.00 Regional News; Weather
Humble meet a giant otter. (R)
7.00 Rick Stein’s Secret France
Rick arrives in Perigord, famous
for black truffles, walnuts and
duck. He visits his favourite
market and cooks a pot roast
pork recipe from the region. (R)
8.00 Great British Menu The two
highest-scoring chefs from
Scotland cook their six-course
menus again for Matthew Fort,
Oliver Peyton and Andi Oliver,
plus guest David Baddiel.
8.30 Gardeners’ World Monty
Don has advice on what to
sow and grow now for fresh
vegetables, while Rachel de
Thame introduces her plans.
9.00 Pilgrimage: The Road to
Istanbul (2/3) The celebrities
spend their final day in Serbia
searching for a monastery
hidden in the forests of the
Sicevo gorge, before moving on
to Sofia, capital of Bulgaria.
10.00 The Mash Report (1/6)
Nish Kumar and a cast of
comedy correspondents
present the satirical and surreal
take on the week’s news. With
Steve N Allen and Ellie Taylor.
10.30 Newsnight Mark Urban with
analysis of the day’s events.
11.05pm  FILM Midnight Special
(2016/12) A boy with strange powers is
protected by his father from religious
extremists and government agents.
Sci-fi adventure, starring Michael
Shannon and Jaeden Lieberher. ★★★
12.50am Coronavirus: Your Essential
Update. With Rachel Burden. (R) 1.20
How Scotland Cut Violent Crime –
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103 FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Good Morning Britain Current 6.30am Cheers (R) 7.20 The King of
affairs and lifestyle features. Queens (R) 8.10 Everybody
9.00 Lorraine Entertainment news. Loves Raymond (R) 9.10 Frasier
10.00 This Morning Celebrity chat (R) 10.10 Undercover Boss USA
and lifestyle features. (R) 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) 12.05pm
12.30pm Loose Women Topical debate
Come Dine with Me (R)
from a female perspective.
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather
2.10 Countdown Gameshow.
1.55 Regional News; Weather
3.00 A Place in the Sun (R)
2.00 Judge Rinder Real-life cases are
4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY
heard in a studio courtroom.
5.00 Four in a Bed The participants
3.00 Tenable Team-mates from find out what they’ve been paid.
Peterborough Amputee Football
5.30 Come Dine with Me Fish
Club compete in the quiz. (R)
salesman Dean is last to host. (R)
4.00 Tipping Point Coin-drop quiz. 6.00 The Simpsons Double bill. Bart
5.00 The Chase Contestants Tom, catches Principal Skinner in a
Geoff, Bim and Alex take part. compromising situation; Bart
takes out a credit card in
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather Santa’s Little Helper’s name. (R)
7.00 Emmerdale Jamie explains to 7.00 Channel 4 News
Paddy that the only way to The latest headlines, in-depth
solve his money problems interviews and analysis of
is to fire Belle, and Dawn topical political developments
worries Billy is avoiding her. and current affairs. Plus, a look
7.30 Coronation Street Yasmeen at the latest weather reports.
confronts Geoff with the 8.00 Coronavirus: What Next?
contents of his emails, Gemma Channel 4 News Special
tries to be positive as Alex’s Correspondents and
hearing aid is fitted and David contributors examine the
apologises for using Alina. techniques used by the
8.00 Vera The detective investigates Government to minimise the
the murder of social worker spread of the virus, and the
Jenny Lister, but figuring out the likely consequences of the
motive behind the killing of an battle while it is being fought
apparently popular woman and its probable aftermath. (R)
proves difficult. However, an 9.00 Gogglebox The armchair
infamous past case involving the critics share their opinions on
death of a child appears to hold what they have been watching
the key. In her pursuit of the during the week, with cameras
truth, Vera uncovers the failings capturing their instant reactions
of an understaffed care system and the lively discussions that
and discovers the secret at are prompted by the week’s
the heart of Jenny’s death. (R) biggest and best shows.
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather 10.00 Friday Night Dinner (2/6)
A fresh perspective on the Martin’s questionable behaviour
major stories of the day, shows no signs of stopping as
featuring national and he becomes obsessed with a
international news, featuring plastic bag that is stuck up a
reports and analysis from tree. With Simon Bird, Tom
ITV’s correspondents. Rosenthal and Tamsin Greig.
10.30 Regional News; Weather 10.35 Duncanville (3/11) In hopes
10.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories of getting a promotion,
The host interviews Alan Annie tries to fill her parking
Sugar about his life, reflecting ticket quota for the month.
on his tenure as chairman of 11.05pm  FILM Bad Neighbours
Tottenham Hotspur and his (2014/15) Comedy, starring Seth Rogen,
nervous breakdown. (R) Zac Efron and Rose Byrne. ★★★
11.40pm Tenable Five friends and 12.55am Come Dine with Me 3.15
family members from Manchester take Coast vs Country. A retired couple
part. (R) 12.35am Home Shopping search for a home. (R) 4.10 Grand
3.00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? (R) Designs Australia (R) 5.05-6.00am
3.50-6.00am ITV Nightscreen Location, Location, Location (R)
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine
11.15 Bad Tenants, Rogue
Landlords (R) 12.10pm 5 News at
Lunchtime 12.15 Bargain-Loving
Brits in the Sun (R) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away
See 6.00pm. (R)
1.45 Neighbours See 5.30pm.
2.15 Did I Kill My Mother? (2018/PG)
Premiere. Mystery thriller,
starring Megan Park. ★★
4.00 Friends Double bill. (R)
5.00 5 News at 5 The day’s headlines.
5.30 Neighbours Mackenzie
and Roxy to concoct a crazy
plan to deceive Trish. (R)
6.00 Home and Away The police
tell Justin they have spoken to
Leah and that she is fine. (R)
6.30 5 News Tonight Headlines.
7.00 The Gadget Show (2/12)
Craig Charles assesses Samsung’s
folding Galaxy Z Flip. Jon Bentley
gives Gogglebox star Sandra
Martin three affordable
65-inch televisions to check out.
Followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Around the World by Train
with Tony Robinson (2/6)
The actor travels through the
heart of South America,
exploring Argentina and Peru.
He dances the tango in Buenos
Aires and fulfils his lifelong
dream of visiting Machu Picchu.
Followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Gregg Wallace’s Fun
Weekend (1/4) The
MasterChef presenter visits
some of Europe’s best cities.
He starts in Rome, which boasts
inexpensive cuisine and an
unrivalled history that stretches
back thousands of years.
10.00 Freddie Mercury: The
Greatest Showman A profile
of the Queen frontman, one
of the most charismatic and
flamboyant performers in music
history, featuring contributions
from his friends, lovers,
collaborators and fans. (R)
11.25pm Queen: A Night at the Odeon
A performance from the rock band led BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 6.30-7.00pm
by Freddie Mercury, recorded on
Christmas Eve at the Hammersmith
Odeon in 1975. (R) 12.50am Access.
Showbiz news. 1.00 The 21.co.uk Live
Casino Show 3.00 Access 3.10
Bargain-Loving Brits in the Sun (R)
4.00 Cruising with Jane McDonald (R)
4.45 House Doctor (R) 5.10 Great
Artists (R) 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS (R) chance to take the helm of one of Her
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 Lucky Feller 7.45 The
Green Green Grass 8.20 Only Fools and Horses.
Friday
APRIL 3
Triple bill. 10.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Triple
bill. 12.20pm Only Fools and Horses 1.00 Dad’s
Army 1.40 Only Fools and Horses 2.20 The Green
Green Grass 3.00 Only Fools and Horses 3.40
Dad’s Army 4.20 Last of the Summer Wine 6.20
The Green Green Grass 7.00 Only Fools and
Horses 7.40 Dad’s Army 9.00 Only Fools and
Horses 10.35 Not Going Out 11.10 Peep Show
12.20am Not Going Out 1.00 Peep Show 1.35
Legends of Stand-Up & Bernard Righton. Double
bill. 3.20 My Hero 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.20 Late Nite Eats 7.45
American Pickers: Best Of 8.45 Storage Hunters
9.15 Expedition with Steve Backshall 10.15 Top
Gear 11.15 Red Bull Soapbox Race 12.15pm Top
Gear: From A-Z 3.20 Top Gear: Polar Challenge
4.20 Top Gear 6.00 Taskmaster 7.00 Room 101.
Double bill. 8.20 Have I Got a Bit More News for
You 9.20 QI 10.00 Red Dwarf. Double bill. 11.20 Pilgrimage: The Road to Istanbul, BBC Two, 9pm
Meet the Richardsons 12.00m’t Taskmaster 1.00
Have I Got a Bit More News for You 2.00 Red
Dwarf 2.35 Don’t Say It, Bring It. Double bill. 3.35 ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117 SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
The Indestructibles 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping 6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55 Classic Sky 301 Virgin 401
Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130 Emmerdale. Double bill. 7.55 Heartbeat 8.55 Man 6.00am  FILM A Simple Wedding (2019/12)
DRAMA About the House. Double bill. 10.00 Rising Damp Romantic comedy. ★★ 7.45  FILM Her Smell
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 Soldier, Soldier. 10.30 A Touch of Frost 12.40pm Heartbeat 1.45 (2018/15) Drama. ★★★ 10.10  FILM The Runaways
Double bill. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 Classic Holby City Classic Emmerdale 2.50 Classic Coronation (2019/12) Drama. ★★★★ 12.10pm  FILM Four Kids
11.00 Classic Casualty 12.00noon The Bill 1.00 Street. Double bill. 3.50 Midsomer Murders 5.55 and It (2020/PG) Family fantasy, starring
Classic EastEnders. Double bill. 2.20 London’s Heartbeat 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 Doc Matthew Goode. ★★★ 2.05  FILM Rocketman
Burning 3.20 Monarch of the Glen 4.20 Where Martin. Double bill. 10.00 Scott & Bailey (2019/15) Elton John biopic. ★★★★ 4.10  FILM
the Heart Is 5.20 Bread 6.00 Hi-de-Hi! 6.40 As 11.05  FILM Changeling (2008/15) Fact-based Supercon (2018/15) Action comedy. ★★★
Time Goes By 7.20 Last of the Summer Wine drama, starring Angelina Jolie. ★★★★★ 1.45am 5.55  FILM A Simple Wedding (2019/12) Romantic
8.00 Murdoch Mysteries 9.00 The Doctor Blake The Good Karma Hospital. Double bill. 3.25 ITV3 comedy. ★★ 7.30 Jacqueline Wilson: Four Kids, It
Mysteries 10.00 New Tricks 11.20 Waking the Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping and Me 8.00  FILM Four Kids and It (2020/PG)
Dead 1.35am The Bill 2.35 Monarch of the Glen Family fantasy. ★★★ 10.00  FILM Rocketman
3.35 Garden Hopping 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107 (2019/15) Elton John biopic. ★★★★ 12.15am  FILM
7.00pm World News Today. The day’s leading Heretiks (2018/18) Historical horror. ★★
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129 stories. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1989 8.00 Abba at 1.50  FILM The Drone (2019/18) Horror. ★★★
6.00am Operation Gold Rush with Dan Snow. the BBC 9.00 Top of the Pops: 1989 9.30 Rich 3.25  FILM Drunk Parents (2019/15) Comedy,
Double bill. 8.00 Murder Maps 9.00 Hitler’s Hall’s Countrier Than You 11.00 Sings the Great starring Alec Baldwin. ★★★ 5.15 Monster Family:
Propaganda Machine 10.00 World War Weird American Songbook 12.00m’t Sinatra: All or Special 5.45-6.00am The 2020 Top Ten Show
11.00 Abandoned Engineering 12.00noon Secrets Nothing at All 1.00 Music Moguls: Masters of Pop
of the Railways 1.00 Coast 2.00 Shipwreck Psycho 2.00-3.30am Rich Hall’s Countrier Than You FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
3.00 Abandoned Engineering 4.00 Secrets of the 11.00am The Court-Martial of Billy Mitchell
Railways 5.00 Hitler’s Propaganda Machine 6.00 SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110 (1955/U) ★★★★ 1.05pm The Tall Stranger (1957/
World War Weird 7.00 Abandoned Engineering 6.00am Monkey Life 7.00 Wild Vets 8.00 The PG) ★★ 3.00 Crack in the World (1965/U) ★★
8.00 Warbird Workshop 9.00 History Hunters Dog Whisperer 9.00 Air Ambulance ER 10.00 4.55 Carry On Sergeant (1958/U) ★★★ 6.40 The
10.00 Abandoned Engineering 11.00 Secrets of Highway Patrol 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles. Double Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (2014/12)
the Railways 12.00m’t Abandoned Engineering bill. 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 3.00 S.W.A.T. 4.00 ★★★ 9.00 Happy Death Day (2017/15) ★★★★
1.00 World War Weird 2.00 Operation Gold Rush Modern Family 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Futurama 10.50 Crank 2: High Voltage (2009/18) ★★★
with Dan Snow 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping 6.30 The Simpsons 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 12.40am Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000/15) ★★
Bulletproof 10.00 Micky Flanagan: Back in the 2.20-4.00am Piranha 3DD (2012/18) ★★
ITV2 Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115 Game 12.00m’t The Trip to Greece 12.40 A League
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres of Their Own: US Road Trip 2.0 1.40 The Force: TALKING PICTURES TV
Show 7.50 Emmerdale 8.20 You’ve Been Framed! Essex 2.35 Road Wars 3.05 NCIS: Los Angeles Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
Gold: Rides Again 9.20 Superstore 10.15 Dinner 4.00 Air Ambulance ER 5.00-5.30am Futurama 6.00am Beauty and the Barge (1937/U) ★★★ 7.30
Date 11.15 Dress to Impress 12.15pm Emmerdale The Voice of Merrill (1952/PG) ★★ 9.15 Vote for
12.45 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! Gold SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108 Huggett (1949/U) ★★★ 11.00 The Rogues
1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.45 Dinner Date 6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets 7.00 12.00noon The Iron Maiden (1962/U) ★★ 2.00
3.50 Dress to Impress 4.50 Take Me Out 6.00 Without a Trace 10.00 The West Wing 12.00noon Rooms 2.30 The Secret Place (1957/PG) ★★★
You’ve Been Framed! Gold: Top 100 Kids 7.00 Blue Bloods 1.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 4.30 The Flying Squad (1940/PG) ★★★ 5.50 The
You’ve Been Framed! Gold: Rides Again 8.00 Two 2.00 The West Wing 4.00 Without a Trace. Triple Turners of Prospect Road (1947/PG) ★★★ 7.10
and a Half Men 9.00  FILM Identity Thief (2013/15 bill. 7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8.00 Blue Out of the Clouds (1955/U) ★★ 9.00 Hazell 10.00
★★ 11.20 Family Guy 12.15am American Dad! 1.15 Bloods 9.00 Game of Thrones 11.20 Babylon Villain (1971/18) ★★★ 12.00m’t Modesty Blaise
The Cleveland Show 2.10 Two and a Half Men Berlin. Double bill. 1.20am The Pacific 3.45 (1966/PG) ★★ 2.15 Custer of the West (1967/U)
2.40 Plebs 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping Californication 4.20-6.00am The West Wing ★★★ 5.00-6.00am Rooms. Double bill.
Variations Majesty’s warships. 11.15 Young, Welsh and Pretty
Minted 11.45 Miranda. Comedy series. 12.15am
Marchogion Berc 5.20 Chwarter Call 5.35
Sinema’r Byd 5.50 Ffeil 6.00 Cegin Bryn: Y
London Kills 1.00-6.00am BBC News Dosbarth Meistr. Iolo Williams from Y Felinheli
ITV WALES As ITV except: 1.55-2.00pm ITV gets Bryn’s advice on timing, and Bryn visits a
BBC Wales Today 7.30 Weatherman Walking:
The Welsh Coast. On a route from Pwll to News Cymru Wales 6.00-6.30 ITV News Wales nearby pig farm on the Llyn Peninsula, where he
also cooks pork on the barbecue. 6.30 Heno
Kidwelly, Derek Brockway marks the anniversary at Six 10.30-10.45pm ITV News Cymru Wales 7.30 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 8.00 Clasuron
of ‘People Power’, which saved a stretch of the S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00noon Newyddion S4C Rygbi S4C. A chance to enjoy a classic Welsh
Loughor Estuary for families to enjoy. 8.00-8.30 a’r Tywydd 12.05 Arfordir Cymru: Sir Benfro 12.30 rugby game from the archive. 9.30 ’Run Sbit.
A Question of Sport. With Peter Wright, Sarah Heno 1.00 Helo Syrjeri 1.30 Bethesda: Pobol y Linda undergoes tests for unexplained hot
Storey, Dion Dublin and Steve Harmison. 10.45 Chwarel 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 flushes. 10.00 Noson Lawen. Mari Lovgreen
Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience. Rhod joins the Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd introduces talented performers from
Royal Navy, thrown in at the deep end with 3.05 Priodas Pum Mil 4.00 Awr Fawr: Olobobs Caernarfon at the Bryn Terfel Theatr in Pontio.
their rigorous training regime and given a 4.05 Patrol Pawennau 4.20 Halibalw 4.30 Sion y 11.00pm-12.05am Bang. Crime drama following
Chef 4.45 Cei Bach 5.00 Stwnsh: Dreigiau – the murder of a businessman in Port Talbot.
 BBC One
FREEVIEW 1 SKY 101 VIRGIN 101 FREESAT 101
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday
Kitchen Live 11.30 Nadiya’s
Family Favourites (R) 12.00noon
Homes Under the Hammer (R)
1.00 BBC News; Weather
1.15 To Be Announced
2.15 Bargain Hunt Two teams test
their antiques knowledge. (R)
3.00 Money for Nothing Experts
transform and sell three things
about to be dumped at a tip. (R)
4.00 Garden Rescue Makeover show,
with Charlie Dimmock. (R)
5.45 BBC News; Regional News
6.05 Pointless Celebrities Alexander
Armstrong and Richard Osman
present as famous faces take
part in the quiz in which they
try to come up with the
least likely correct answers.
6.55 Catchpoint Paddy
McGuinness hosts a new
family-friendly game show
combining physical fun and
an exciting question mechanic,
as contestants have to think
fast as they answer questions
while trying to catch balls of
various sizes dropped from
the studio ceiling, with a
variety of entertaining rounds
and a cash prize at stake.
7.25 To Be Announced
8.30 Casualty Hospital drama with
the staff of Holby’s Accident
and Emergency department.
9.15 All Round to Mrs Brown’s
Brendan O’Carroll returns
to don Agnes’s famous cardigan
and curly wig once again to
host a Saturday night chat
show, featuring mischievous
stunts and appearances
by celebrity visitors.
10.00 BBC News A round-up of
the latest headline stories.
10.20 To Be Announced
11.20pm  FILM David Brent: Life
on the Road (2016/15) More than a
decade on from his appearance in
documentary series The Office, a film
crew is once again following the life of
David Brent. He is now working as a
rep for a cleaning-goods distributor,
but harbours dreams of making it big
in the music business. Acting on this,
he takes three weeks off work and
tours with a new-look version of
Foregone Conclusion, the band he
fronted in the 1990s. Comedy, directed
by and starring Ricky Gervais. ★★★
12.55am Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.00-6.00am BBC News
BBC Two
FREEVIEW 2 SKY 102 VIRGIN 102 FREESAT 102
6.25am All Over the Place 6.55 Blue
Peter (R) 7.25 Deadly 60 (R)
7.55 Tinker Bell and the Secret of
the Wings (2012/U) Disney
animated adventure, with the
voice of Mae Whitman. ★★★ (R)
9.00 Astronauts: Do You Have What
It Takes? (R) 10.00 To Be
Announced 11.00 Birds of
Paradise: The Ultimate Quest (R)
12.00noon Great British Menu (R)
2.00 The £100K House: Tricks of the
Trade With Kieran Long. (R)
3.00 Hugh’s Wild West
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
goes in search of wildlife. (R)
4.00 To Be Announced
5.40 70s Legends: Talking Pictures
Profiles of movie stars. (R)
6.30 Dad’s Army Classic comedy. (R)
7.00 Australia: Earth’s
Magical Kingdom An
exploration of the wildlife
that is unique to Australia. (R)
8.00 Great American Railroad
Journeys Michael Portillo
examines the history of North
America’s rail networks using
Appleton’s General Guide to the
United States and Canada to
plot his course. Last in series. (R)
9.00 QI XL Extended edition of
the comedy panel game, in
which the questions are so
difficult points are awarded
for interesting – but not
necessarily correct – answers. (R)
9.45 To Be Announced
10.45 To Be Announced
12.25am To Be Announced 1.55-6.35am
This Is BBC Two. Preview show.
ITV
FREEVIEW 3 SKY 103 VIRGIN 103 FREESAT 103
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25 ITV
News 9.30 James Martin’s
Saturday Morning. The TV chef
hosts a weekend chat show
from the comfort of his own
home. 11.40 Ainsley’s
Mediterranean Cookbook (R)
12.40pm ITV News; Weather
1.00 Casper (1995/PG) Supernatural
family comedy, starring
Christina Ricci. ★★★★
3.00 Tenable General knowledge
quiz, with Warwick Davis. (R)
4.00 The Chase Quiz show, hosted
by Bradley Walsh. (R)
5.00 The Virtual Grand National
6.00 ITV News; Weather
6.15 Regional News; Weather
6.30 Tipping Point: Best Ever
Finals Coin-drop quiz. (R)
7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway
Entertainment show, featuring
undercover pranks, surprises
galore, star guests and
competitions. Last in series.
8.00 In for a Penny Stephen
Mulhern hosts the game show
from locations around the
UK, setting members of the
public unusual challenges for a
chance to win anything from
the price of their petrol, to
£1000 in the big finale game.
8.30 The Voice UK: Most
Memorable Moments
Emma Willis presents
highlights from the spinning-
chair singing contest, Revisiting
the coaches’ favourite Blind
Auditions and featuring some
of the most memorable
performances. Last in series.
9.30 ITV News; Weather
10.00  Crank (2006/18) An assassin
faces a race against time when
he learns a rival has poisoned
him with a drug that will kill him but the prospect of war breaking out
if his heart rate drops below a
certain level. As he sets out to
take revenge on his enemies, he commander for the coming conflict,
has to resort to increasingly
desperate acts to keep his
adrenaline pumping. Action
thriller, with Jason Statham and Card’s novel, starring Asa Butterfield,
Jose Pablo Cantillo. ★★★
11.45pm To Be Announced 12.35am
Home Shopping 3.00 Rebound. Sean
Fletcher hosts the quickfire quiz that
tests the general knowledge of six
contestants, who go head to head in a couples from Blackpool compete. (R)
bid to walk away with a big cash prize. 4.10 To Be Announced 5.05-6.00am
(R) 3.50-6.00am ITV Nightscreen
(R) repeat ★★★★★ brilliant ★★★★ very good ★★★ good ★★ average ★ bad
Channel 4
FREEVIEW 4 SKY 104 VIRGIN 104 FREESAT 104
6.00am Mike & Molly (R) 6.45 The Big
Bang Theory (R) 8.35 The
Simpsons (R) 11.55 Four in a Bed
2.30pm Eragon (2006/PG) A young
farm boy discovers a dragon’s
egg, which hatches into the last
surviving specimen of its mighty
race. His friendship with the
winged creature soon comes in
handy when he discovers he is
destined to overthrow the evil
tyrant who has taken control of
the kingdom. Fantasy adventure,
starring Ed Speleers. ★★
4.30 A Place in the Sun: Home or
Away A couple search
Great Yarmouth and Almeria
in Spain for a new home. (R)
5.30 Channel 4 News Headlines.
6.00 Animal Rescue School (3/6)
7.00 My Grandparents’ War:
Mark Rylance Actor and
peace campaigner Mark Rylance
finds out what happened to his
grandfather Osmond Skinner. (R)
8.00 Churchill’s Secret Affair
Documentary exploring the
secret relationship between the
Prime Minister and a woman he
met in the South of France in
the 1930s. During a visit to
President Roosevelt at the height
of the war, he was reunited
with his former lover. (R)
9.00 War for the Planet of the
Apes (2017/12) Premiere. Caesar
and his apes are forced into a
lethal clash with an army of
humans led by a ruthless
colonel. Fantasy adventure,
starring Andy Serkis, Woody
Harrelson, Steve Zahn, Karin
Konoval, Amiah Miller and
Terry Notary. ★★★★
11.50pm  FILM Ender’s Game (2013/12)
In the future, the human race has
survived conflict with an alien race,
again is a constant threat. A gifted boy
is selected as a potential military
and subjected to a gruelling training
program to prove his worth. Sci-fi
adventure based on Orson Scott
Harrison Ford and Ben Kingsley. ★★★
1.45am Hollyoaks. Drama following the
lives and loves of a group of teenagers
and young adults in Chester. (R) 3.15
Couples Come Dine with Me. Three
Location, Location, Location (R)
 Channel 5
FREEVIEW 5 SKY 105 VIRGIN 105 FREESAT 105
6.05am Milkshake! Including at: 6.15
The Day Henry Met (R) 6.20 Ben
and Holly’s Little Kingdom (R)
6.35 Bob the Builder (R) 7.20
Shane the Chef (R) 8.05
Butterbean’s Cafe (R) 8.25 Paw
Patrol 8.40 Nella the Princess
Knight (R) 8.50 Wissper 9.05
Pirata & Capitano 9.15 Floogals
(R) 9.40 Shimmer and Shine
9.55 SpongeBob SquarePants (R)
10.15 The Loud House (R)
10.25 Access Showbiz news.
10.30 Friends Five episodes. (R)
1.00pm To Be Announced
6.00 Great British Gardens: Season
by Season with Carol Klein The
plantswoman visits outstanding
gardens across the UK.
6.55 5 News Weekend Headlines.
7.00 Cruising with Jane
McDonald The singer embarks
on a series of ocean odysseys,
and while she is no stranger
to the open sea, having
found fame on 1988 BBC TV
documentary The Cruise, the
mega-cruiser she boards is a far
cry from the 600-passenger
vessel she is used to. (R)
8.00 To Be Announced
1.00am The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show
3.10 A Year in the Wild. The lives of the 6.00am Outside Edge 6.30 Agatha Christie’s
people and animals that inhabit
Britain’s national parks. 4.45 House
Doctor. Californian interior designer
and estate agent Ann Maurice visits a
house on the market, and offers
advice on making it more attractive to
would-be buyers. (R) 5.10 Great Artists.
Series examining the lives and works of BBC1 WALES As BBC1 except: 5.55-6.05pm
the Western world’s most gifted
artists. 5.35-6.00am Wildlife SOS.
The work of dedicated volunteers
treating sick, injured and orphaned
animals at a wildlife sanctuary. (R)
GOLD Sky 110 Virgin 124
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 My Hero 7.45
The Green Green Grass 8.20 Only Fools and
Horses. Sixteen episodes. 9.30pm Michael
McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow 10.30 Peep
Show. Double bill. 11.40 The Mighty Boosh.
Double bill. 1.00am Harry Enfield and Chums
1.35 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow
2.30 The Mighty Boosh. Double bill. 3.30 Harry
Enfield and Chums 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DAVE Sky 111 FV 19 Virgin 127
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 Late Nite Eats 7.25
Top Gear 8.20 Aussie Pickers 9.20 American
Pickers: Best Of. Double bill. 11.20 Would I Lie to
You?. Triple bill. 1.20pm Gavin & Stacey. Seven
episodes. 6.00 Would I Lie to You?. Triple bill.
8.00 Red Dwarf. Triple bill. 10.00 Mock the
Week. Double bill. 11.20 Dave Gorman: Terms
and Conditions Apply Sally Phillips, Desiree Burch
and Jessica Knappett join Dave to try to
unscramble the seemingly scrambled 12.20am
Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 1.20
QI XL 2.15 Red Dwarf 2.50 Jon Richardson:
Ultimate Worrier 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
DRAMA Sky 143 FV 20 Virgin 130
6.00am Teleshopping 7.30 Cadfael 9.00
Lovejoy. Double bill. 11.00 Sharpe 1.00pm Auf
Wiedersehen, Pet. Double bill. 3.00 Rosemary &
Thyme 6.00 The Brokenwood Mysteries 8.00
Murdoch Mysteries 9.00 Ashes to Ashes 11.40
Kavanagh QC 1.10am Trial & Retribution 3.05
Garden Hopping 4.00-6.00am Teleshopping
YESTERDAY Sky 155 FV 25 Virgin 129
6.00am Operation Gold Rush with Dan Snow
7.10 Coast 8.00 Nazi Murder Mysteries 9.00 Train
Truckers 10.00 Bangers and Cash. Triple bill.
1.00pm Wild Africa. Six episodes. 7.00 Guitar
Heroes at the BBC 9.00 Chris Tarrant: Extreme
Railway Journeys 10.00 Titanic: Stories from the
Deep 11.00 Train Truckers 12.00m’t Impossible
Engineering 1.00 Coast 2.00 Operation Gold Rush
with Dan Snow 3.00-6.00am Teleshopping
Sky 118 FV 6 Virgin 115
ITV2
6.00am Teleshopping 7.00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show. Triple bill. 9.30 Dress to Impress. Double
bill. 11.30 Catchphrase 12.35pm In for a Penny
1.05  FILM Honey (2003/PG) Urban dance
drama, starring Jessica Alba. ★★ 3.10  FILM Alvin
and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009/U)
Comedy, starring Zachary Levi. ★★ 4.50  FILM
Nanny McPhee (2005/U) Period fantasy, starring
Emma Thompson. ★★★ 6.55  FILM Coyote
Ugly (2000/12) Comedy drama, starring Piper
Perabo. ★★ 9.00  FILM Mad Max: Fury Road
(2015/15) Sci-fi thriller, starring Tom Hardy.
★★★★★ 11.20 Family Guy 12.20am American
Dad! 1.15 The Cleveland Show 1.40 Ibiza
Weekender 2.40 The Stand Up Sketch Show 3.15
ITV2 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
ITV3 Sky 119 FV 10 Virgin 117
Poirot 7.30 Midsomer Murders 9.30 Coronation
Street 10.55 Midsomer Murders. Six episodes.
11.00pm Scott & Bailey. Triple bill. 2.00am Meet
the Penguins 2.50 Man About the House 3.15
ITV3 Nightscreen 3.30-6.00am Teleshopping
Variations
BBC Wales Today. The latest headlines.
ITV WALES As ITV except: 6.15-6.30pm
ITV News Cymru Wales. The latest headlines.
S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.00 Stwnsh Sadwrn. Fun,
games and competitions. 8.20 Pat a Stan.
Adventures with the two friends who turn
everyday events into crazy adventures. 8.55
Dennis a Dannedd. Children’s animation. 9.15
Seligo. Slapstick series about a group of funny
blue men. 9.20 Larfa. Computer-generated
animation. 9.25 Pigo dy Drwyn. Two teams go
Saturday
APRIL 4
All Round to Mrs Brown’s, BBC One, 9.15pm
BBC FOUR Sky 116 FV 9/68 Virgin 107
7.00pm Rick Stein’s Long Weekends 8.00 Coast
Great Guides: North Sea Coast Neil Oliver and
Tessa Dunlop explore the North Sea coastline
visiting Inchmickery to investigate a bird colony
and taking in the holy island of Lindisfarne
9.00  NEW Twin. Double bill. 10.30 What a
Performance! Pioneers of Popular Entertainment
11.30 Top of the Pops: 1989 12.30am Blues &
Beyond with Cerys Matthews and Val Wilmer
1.30 Coast Great Guides: North Sea Coast
2.30-3.30am Rick Stein’s Long Weekends
SKY ONE Sky 106 Virgin 110
6.00am Monkey Life. Six episodes. 9.00 Modern
Family. Triple bill. 10.30 Jacqueline Wilson: Four
Kids, It and Me 11.00 Supergirl 12.00noon The
Flash 1.00 Hawaii Five-0. Triple bill. 4.00 The
Simpsons. Seven episodes. 7.30 Modern Family
8.00 Freddie Fries Again 9.00  FILM Anchorman:
The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004/12) Comedy,
starring Will Ferrell. ★★★ 11.00 Hitmen 11.30
Breeders 12.00m’t Strike Back: Vendetta 1.00
Hawaii Five-0 2.00 The Force: Manchester
4.00-6.00am The Real A&E. Four episodes.
SKY ATLANTIC Sky 108
6.00am To Be Announced 7.00 The Guest
Wing 8.00 To Be Announced 9.00pm Game
of Thrones. Double bill. 11.30 The Pacific.
Double bill. 1.50am To Be Announced 4.05
Fish Town 5.00-6.00am To Be Announced
SKY CINEMA PREMIERE
Sky 301 Virgin 401
6.00am  FILM The Runaways (2019/12) Drama,
starring Mark Addy. ★★★★ 8.00  FILM A Simple
Wedding (2019/12) Romantic comedy, starring
Tara Grammy. ★★ 9.35 Free Preview Jumanji:
The Next Level 9.50  FILM Four Kids and It (2020/
PG) Family fantasy, starring Matthew Goode.
★★★ 11.45  FILM Rocketman (2019/15) Elton
John biopic, starring Taron Egerton. ★★★★
1.50pm  FILM Supercon (2018/15) Action comedy,
starring John Malkovich. ★★★ 3.35 Free Preview
head to head in a series of snot-tastic games
including zorbing, bungee ropes and a Velcro
wall. 10.00 Prosiect Pum Mil. Help for
communities from all over Wales with
refurbishment projects, completed on a budget
of £5,000. 12.00noon Ty am Ddim. Renovation
challenge in which two strangers buy a house
at auction, with the aim of making as much
profit as possible when the property goes
under the hammer again in six months. 1.00
Ffermio. Country and farming magazine
programme, including features on all aspects of
agriculture and rural life. 1.30 Cynefin. Heledd
Cynwal, Iestyn Jones and Sion Tomos Owen
explore the history and legends of Bro
Jumanji: The Next Level 3.50  FILM Drunk Parents
(2019/15) Comedy, starring Alec Baldwin. ★★★
5.30 Jacqueline Wilson: Four Kids, It and Me
6.00  FILM Four Kids and It (2020/PG) Family
fantasy, starring Matthew Goode. ★★★
8.00  FILM Rocketman (2019/15) Elton John
biopic, starring Taron Egerton. ★★★★
10.15  FILM Rise of the Footsoldier 4: Marbella
(2019/18) Premiere. Action comedy, starring
Craig Fairbrass. ★★★ 11.45  FILM Heretiks
(2018/18) Historical horror, starring Hannah
Arterton. ★★ 1.15am  FILM The Drone (2019/18)
Horror, starring Sam Adegoke. ★★★ 2.45  FILM
Her Smell (2018/15) Drama, starring Elisabeth
Moss. ★★★ 5.00 Jacqueline Wilson: Four Kids, It
and Me 5.30-6.00am Hotel Mumbai: Special
FILM4 Sky 313 FV 14 Virgin 428
11.00am The Boxtrolls (2014/PG) ★★★ 12.50pm
Snoopy and Charlie Brown: The Peanuts Movie
(2015/U) ★★★★ 2.35 Flushed Away (2006/U)
★★★ 4.15 Hail, Caesar! (2016/12) ★★★★ 6.20
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 (2015/12)
Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Jennifer
Lawrence. ★★★★ 9.00 The Girl on the Train
(2016/15) Thriller, starring Emily Blunt and
Rebecca Ferguson. ★★★ 11.15 The Gift (2015/15)
★★★★ 1.25-4.00am Dark Places (2015/15) ★★
TALKING PICTURES TV
Sky 328 FV 81 Virgin 445
6.00am Frozen Alive (1964/PG) ★★★ 7.35 Penny
and the Pownall Case (1948/PG) ★★★ 8.35 Just
William’s Luck (1948/U) ★★★ 10.25 The Ghost
Train (1941/U) ★★★ 12.10pm English Without
Tears (1944/PG) ★★★ 1.55 Convoy (1940/U) ★★
3.45 Heart of a Child (1958/U) ★★★ 5.20 Flight
to Mars (1951/U) ★★★ 6.50 The Rainmaker (1956/
PG) Drama. ★★★★ 9.20 Girl with Green Eyes
(1964/U) Romantic drama, starring Rita
Tushingham and Peter Finch. ★★★★ 11.20
Talking Pictures With Rita Tushingham 11.50 The
Team 12.00m’t Out 1.00 High Tide (1980/PG)
★★★ 2.50 The Kitchen (1961/PG) ★★★
4.25-6.00am Night Ride (1937/U) ★★★
Ffestiniog. 2.30 Codi Pac. Geraint Hardy visits
various parts of Wales and talks to local people.
3.00 Perthyn. Heledd Cynwal and a team
research people’s family history. 3.30 47 Copa:
Her Huw Jack Brassington 4.00 Dan Do. A look
at tasteful and interesting homes across Wales.
4.30 Bethesda: Pobol y Chwarel. Life in the
close-knit quarrying community in north Wales.
5.00 Cyw 5.45 Clasuron Rygbi S4C. A chance to
enjoy a classic Welsh rugby game from the
archive. 7.15 Newyddion a Chwaraeon 7.30 Heno
Nos Sadwrn. Saturday night edition of the
magazine programme, featuring stories from all
over Wales. 8.00 Noson Lawen. All-singing. 11.05
Lwp: Curadur 11.35pm-12.10am Hansh
 BEST RADIO of the week
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
5.00am Gregor Davidson. 7.00
Matt And Mollie. 10.00 Jordan
SUNDAY
North. 1.00pm Dev And Alice. 4.00
Radio 1’s Life Hacks. 6.00 The Official
Chart: First Look On Radio 1. 7.00
Phil Taggart. 9.00 Daniel P Carter.
11.00 Huw Stephens. 1.00am
Radio 1’s Residency. 3.00 The
Gemma Collins Podcast. 3.40 BBC
Radio 1 And 1Xtra’s Stories. 4.00-
6.30am Early Breakfast With Adele
Roberts. Radio 2 (FM: 88-91MHz)
6.00am Good Morning Sunday. 9.00
Steve Wright. 11.00 Michael Ball.
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
MONDAY
Arielle Free. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Annie Mac. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin
And Charlie. 11.00 Radio 1’s Indie
Show With Jack Saunders. 1.00am
Radio 1’s Drum & Bass Show With
Rene LaVice. 3.00 Radio 1’s Chill Mix.
3.30 Radio 1’s Workout Anthems.
4.00-6.30am Early Breakfast.
Radio 2 (FM: 88-91MHz) 5.00am
Vanessa Feltz. 6.30 The Rylan Clark-
Neal Breakfast Show. 9.30 Ken
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
TUESDAY
Arielle Free. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With
Annie Mac. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin And
Charlie. 11.00 Radio 1’s Indie Show
With Jack Saunders. 1.00am Annie
Nightingale. 3.00 Radio 1’s Movie
Mixtape. 4.00-6.30am Early Breakfast
With Adele Roberts. Radio 2 (FM:
88-91MHz) 5.00am Vanessa Feltz.
6.30 The Rylan Clark-Neal Breakfast
Show. 9.30 Ken Bruce. 12.00noon
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
WEDNESDAY
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
Arielle Free. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With
Phil Taggart. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin And
Charlie. 11.00 Radio 1’s Indie Show
With Jack Saunders. 1.00am Benji B.
3.00 Radio 1’s RnB Anthems. 4.00-
6.30am Adele Roberts. Radio 2
(FM: 88-91MHz) 5.00am Vanessa
Feltz. 6.30 The Rylan Clark-Neal
Breakfast Show. 9.30 Ken Bruce.
12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.30am Greg James. 10.00 Clara
THURSDAY
Amfo. 12.45pm Newsbeat. 1.00
Arielle Free. 4.00 Nick Grimshaw.
5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Nick Grimshaw.
7.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With
Annie Mac. 9.00 Rickie, Melvin
And Charlie. 11.00 Jack Saunders.
1.00am Toddla T. 3.00 Radio 1’s Rap
Anthems. 4.00-6.00am Radio 1’s
Weekend Early Breakfast. Radio 2
(FM: 88-91MHz) 5.00am Vanessa
Feltz. 6.30 The Rylan Clark-Neal
Breakfast Show. 9.30 Ken Bruce.
12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
6.00am Mollie King. 6.30 Matt
And Mollie. 10.00 Maya Jama. 11.00
Jordan North. 12.45pm Newsbeat.
FRIDAY
1.00 Dev And Alice. 4.00 Cel And
Katie. 5.45 Newsbeat. 6.00 Katie
Thistleton And Cel Spellman. 7.00
Annie Mac. 9.00 Pete Tong. 11.00
Danny Howard. 1.00am Radio 1’s
Essential Mix. 3.00 Radio 1’s Drum
& Bass Mix. 3.30 Annie Mac.
4.00-5.00am Radio 1’s Weekend
Early Breakfast. Radio 2 (FM:
88-91MHz) 5.00am Vanessa Feltz.
6.30 Rylan Clark-Neal. 9.30 Ken
Radio 1 (FM: 97.6-99.8MHz)
5.00am Radio 1’s Weekend Early
SATURDAY
Breakfast-Arielle Free. 7.00 Matt
And Mollie. 10.00 Maya Jama. 11.00
Maya Jama. 1.00pm Dev And Emily
Atack. 4.00 Radio 1’s Classic Dance
Anthems With Mistajam. 5.00 Today’s
Dance Anthems With Mistajam. 6.00
Radio 1’s Future Dance Anthems
With Mistajam. 7.00 1Xtra’s Takeover
With DJ Target. 9.00 1Xtra’s Rap
Show With Tiffany Calver. 11.00
Diplo And Friends. 12.00m’t Diplo
And Friends. 1.00 Radio 1’s Classic
Essential Mix. 3.00 Danny Howard’s
1.00pm Elaine Paige. 3.00 Johnnie
Walker. 5.00 Paddy O’Connell. 7.00
Claudia On Sunday. 9.00 Patrick
Kielty. 10.00 Clare Teal. 11.00 Don
Black. 12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00-
5.00am Sounds Of The 60s With
Tony Blackburn. Radio 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 7.00am Breakfast.
9.00 Sunday Morning. 12.00noon
Private Passions. 1.00 Lunchtime
Concert. 2.00 The Early Music Show.
3.00 Choral Evensong. 4.00 Jazz
Record Requests. 5.00 The Listening
Service. 5.30 Words And Music.
6.45 Between The Ears. 7.15 New
Bruce. 12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00
Steve Wright In The Afternoon. 5.00
Sara Cox. 7.00 Jo Whiley. 9.00 The
Blues Show With Cerys Matthews.
10.00 Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm
Nation. 12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00-
5.00am Sounds Of The 70s With
Johnnie Walker. Radio 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 6.30am Breakfast.
9.00 Essential Classics. 12.00noon
Composer Of The Week: Schubert.
1.00 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert.
2.00 Afternoon Concert. 4.30
Early Music Now. 5.00 In Tune. 7.00
In Tune Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3 In
Jeremy Vine. 2.00 Steve Wright In
The Afternoon. 5.00 Sara Cox. 7.00
Jo Whiley. 9.00 The Jazz Show With
Jamie Cullum. 10.00 Trevor Nelson’s
Rhythm Nation. 12.00m’t OJ Borg.
3.00 Sounds Of The 80s With Gary
Davies. 4.50-5.00am Radio 2 Sounds
Of The 80s Mastermix. Radio 3
(FM: 90.2-92.4MHz) 6.30am
Breakfast. 9.00 Essential Classics.
12.00noon Composer Of The Week:
Schubert. 1.00 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. 2.00 Afternoon Concert.
5.00 In Tune. 7.00 In Tune Mixtape.
7.30 Radio 3 In Concert. 10.00
Wright In The Afternoon. 5.00 Sara
Cox. 7.00 Jo Whiley. 9.00 The Folk
Show With Mark Radcliffe. 10.00
Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm Nation.
12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00 Pick Of The
Pops. 4.00-5.00am Pick Of The Pops.
Radio 3 (FM: 90.2-92.4MHz)
6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential
Classics. 12.00noon Composer Of
The Week: Schubert. 1.00 Radio 3
Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon
Concert. 3.30 Choral Evensong. 4.30
New Generation Artists. 5.00 In Tune.
7.00 In Tune Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3
In Concert. 10.00 Free Thinking.
Wright In The Afternoon. 5.00
Sara Cox. 7.00 Jo Whiley. 9.00 The
Country Show With Bob Harris.
10.00 Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm
Nation. 12.00m’t OJ Borg. 3.00
Tracks Of My Years. 4.00 The Craig
Charles House Party Mixtape. 4.30-
5.00am Huey Morgan’s Loungin’
Mix. Radio 3 (FM: 90.2-92.4MHz)
6.30am Breakfast. 9.00 Essential
Classics. 12.00noon Composer Of
The Week: Schubert. 1.02 Radio 3
Lunchtime Concert. 2.00 Afternoon
Concert. 5.00 In Tune. 7.00 In Tune
Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3 In Concert.
Bruce. 12.00noon Jeremy Vine. 2.00
Steve Wright. 5.00 Sara Cox. 7.00
Tony Blackburn’s Golden Hour. 8.00
Music Night. 10.00 Gary Davies.
12.00m’t Sounds Of The 90s With
Fearne Cotton. 2.00 Moby: 20 Years
Of Play. 3.00 Quentin Tarantino’s
Movie Mixtape. 4.00-6.00am
Huey Morgan. Radio 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 6.30am Breakfast.
9.00 Essential Classics. 12.00noon
Composer Of The Week: Schubert.
1.00 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert.
2.00 Afternoon Concert. 4.30 The
Listening Service. 5.00 In Tune. 7.00
Club Mix. 4.00-5.00am Radio 1’s
Chillout Anthems. Radio 2 (FM:
88-91MHz) 6.00am Sounds Of
The 60s With Tony Blackburn. 8.00
Dermot O’Leary. 10.00 Graham
Norton. 1.00pm Pick Of The Pops.
2.00 Pick Of The Pops. 3.00 Rylan
On Saturday. 6.00 Liza Tarbuck. 8.00
The Rock Show With Johnnie Walker.
9.00 Levi Roots. 10.00 The Craig
Charles House Party. 12.00m’t Ana
Matronic’s Dance Devotion. 2.00
Sounds Of The 20th Century. 3.00
Classic Albums Replayed Presents:
Stars By Simply Red. 4.00-6.00am
Generation Thinkers. 7.30 Drama
On 3. 9.00 Radio 3 In Concert.
11.30 Slow Radio. 12.00m’t Classical
Fix. 12.30-6.30am Through The
Night. Radio 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6
MHz) 5.30am News. 5.43 Bells On
Sunday. 5.45 Lent Talks. 6.00 News.
6.05 Something Understood. 6.35
Living World. 6.57 Weather. 7.00
News. 7.10 Sunday. 7.54 Radio 4
Appeal. 7.57 Weather. 8.00 News.
8.10 Sunday Worship. 8.48 A Point
Of View. 8.58 Tweet Of The Day.
9.00 Broadcasting House. 10.00
The Archers. 11.15 Desert Island
Concert. 10.00 Music Matters. 10.45
The Essay: Paul Robeson In 5 Songs.
11.00 Night Tracks. 12.30-6.30am
Through The Night. Radio 4
(FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz) 5.30am News
Briefing. 5.43 Prayer For The Day.
5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet Of
The Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 Start The
Week. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45
(FM) Book of the Week: Charles
Dickens: A Life. 10.00 Woman’s Hour.
11.00 Fighting Talk: How Language
Can Make Us Better. 11.30 Loose
Ends. 12.00noon News. 12.01
(LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 The
Free Thinking. 10.45 The Essay: Paul
Robeson In 5 Songs. 11.00 Night
Tracks. 12.30-6.30am Through The
Night. Radio 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6
MHz) 5.30am News Briefing. 5.43
Prayer For The Day. 5.45 Farming
Today. 5.58 Tweet Of The Day.
6.00 Today. 8.31 (LW) Yesterday In
Parliament. 9.00 The Patch. 9.30
New Storytellers. 9.45 (LW) Daily
Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the
Week: Charles Dickens: A Life. 10.00
Woman’s Hour. 11.00 The Ugly Truth.
11.30 Eighteen. 12.00noon News.
12.01 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04
10.45 The Essay: Paul Robeson
In 5 Songs. 11.00 Night Tracks.
12.30-6.30am Through The Night.
Radio 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer
For The Day. 5.45 Farming Today.
5.58 Tweet Of The Day. 6.00 Today.
8.31 (LW) Yesterday In Parliament.
9.00 How To Play. 9.30 The Best
Thing Since Sliced Bread? 9.45 (LW)
Daily Service. 9.45 (FM) Book of the
Week: Charles Dickens: A Life. 10.00
Woman’s Hour. 10.55 The Listening
Project. 11.00 A Deadly Trade.
11.30 Plum House. 12.01pm (LW)
10.00 Free Thinking. 10.45 The Essay:
Paul Robeson In 5 Songs. 11.00
Night Tracks. 11.30 Unclassified.
12.30-6.30am Through The Night.
Radio 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer
For The Day. 5.45 Farming Today. 5.58
Tweet Of The Day. 6.00 Today. 8.45
(LW) Yesterday In Parliament. 9.00 In
Our Time. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service.
9.45 (FM) Book of the Week: Charles
Dickens: A Life. 10.00 Woman’s
Hour. 11.00 Crossing Continents.
11.30 Art Of Now: Christchurch.
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast.
In Tune Mixtape. 7.30 Radio 3 In
Concert. 10.00 The Verb. 10.45 The
Essay: Paul Robeson In Five Songs.
11.00 Late Junction. 1.00-7.00am
Through The Night. Radio 4
(FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz) 5.30am News
Briefing. 5.43 Prayer For The Day.
5.45 Farming Today. 5.58 Tweet Of
The Day. 6.00 Today. 9.00 Desert
Island Discs. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service.
9.45 (FM) Book of the Week: Charles
Dickens: A Life. 10.00 Woman’s Hour.
11.00 Science Stories. 11.30 It’s A
Fair Cop. 12.00noon News. 12.01
(LW) Shipping Forecast. 12.04 The
Angela Scanlon. Radio 3 (FM:
90.2-92.4MHz) 7.00am Breakfast.
9.00 Record Review. 11.45 Music
Matters. 12.30pm This Classical Life.
1.00 Inside Music. 3.00 Sound Of
Gaming. 4.00 Music Planet. 5.00 J
To Z. 6.30 Opera On 3. 10.00 New
Music Show. 12.00m’t Freeness.
2.00-7.00am Through The Night.
Radio 4 (FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz)
5.30am News Briefing. 5.43 Prayer
For The Day. 5.45 The Best Thing
Since Sliced Bread? 6.00 News
And Papers. 6.07 Open Country.
6.30 Farming Today This Week. 6.57
29 March - 4 April
Discs. 12.00noon News. 12.01 (LW)
Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Thanks A
Lot, Milton Jones! 12.30 The Food
Programme. 12.57 Weather. 1.00
The World This Weekend. 1.30 The
Ugly Truth. 2.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time. 2.45 The Listening Project.
3.00 Drama. 4.00 Open Book. 4.30
Halal If You Hear Me. 5.00 Universal
Basic Income. 5.40 Profile. 5.54
Shipping Forecast. 6.00 Six O’Clock
News. 6.15 Pick Of The Week.
7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Reluctant
Persuaders. 7.45 New Irish Writing.
8.00 Feedback. 8.30 Last Word.
Mirror And The Light. 12.18 You
And Yours. 1.00 The World At One.
1.45 50 More Things That Made
The Modern Economy. 2.00 The
Archers. 2.15 Drama:This Thing
Of Darkness. 3.00 Round Britain
Quiz. 3.30 The Food Programme.
4.00 The City That Sings. 4.30 The
Digital Human. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW)
Shipping Forecast. 5.57 Weather. 6.00
Six O’Clock News. 6.30 Thanks A
Lot, Milton Jones! 7.00 The Archers.
7.15 Front Row. 7.45 About Love.
8.00 A Deadly Trade. 8.30 Crossing
Continents. 9.00 The Cathedral
The Mirror And The Light. 12.18
Call You And Yours. 12.57 Weather.
1.00 The World At One. 1.45 50
More Things That Made The Modern
Economy. 2.00 The Archers. 2.15
Drama: Settlers. 3.00 Short Cuts.
3.30 Costing The Earth. 4.00 Sharing
The Baby. 4.30 A Good Read. 5.00
PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast.
5.57 Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock
News. 6.30 A Normal Universe. 7.00
The Archers. 7.15 Front Row. 7.45
About Love. 8.00 Hidden Children
Of The Church. 8.40 In Touch. 9.00
Inside Health:The Virus. 9.30 New
Shipping Forecast. 12.04 The Mirror
And The Light. 12.18 You And Yours.
12.57 Weather. 1.00 The World
At One. 1.45 50 More Things That
Made The Modern Economy. 2.00
The Archers. 2.15 Drama:With My
Little Eye. 3.00 Money Box Live. 3.30
The Digital Human. 4.00 Thinking
Allowed. 4.30 The Media Show. 5.00
PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast.
5.57 Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock
News. 6.30 The Wilsons Save The
World. 7.00 The Archers. 7.15 Front
Row. 7.45 About Love. 8.00 Fallout.
8.45 Lent Talks. 9.00 Costing The
12.04 The Mirror And The Light.
12.18 You And Yours. 12.57 Weather.
1.00 The World At One. 1.45 50
More Things That Made The Modern
Economy. 2.00 The Archers. 2.15
Drama: Stories From Hay El Matar.
3.00 Open Country. 3.27 Radio 4
Appeal. 3.30 Open Book. 4.00 The
Film Programme. 4.30 BBC Inside
Science. 5.00 PM. 5.54 (LW) Shipping
Forecast. 5.57 Weather. 6.00 Six
O’Clock News. 6.30 Ability. 7.00 The
Archers. 7.15 Front Row. 7.45 About
Love. 8.00 The Briefing Room. 8.30
In Business. 9.00 BBC Inside Science.
Mirror And The Light. 12.18 You
And Yours. 12.57 Weather. 1.00 The
World At One. 1.45 50 More Things
That Made The Modern Economy.
2.00 The Archers. 2.15 Drama:
Eavesdropper. 3.00 Gardeners’
Question Time. 3.45 Short Works.
4.00 Last Word. 4.30 Feedback.
4.55 The Listening Project. 5.00 PM.
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast. 5.57
Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock News.
6.30 The Now Show. 7.00 The
Archers. 7.15 Front Row. 7.45 About
Love. 8.00 Any Questions? 8.50 A
Point Of View. 9.00 Instant History.
Weather. 7.00 Today. 9.00 Saturday
Live. 10.30 The Kitchen Cabinet.
11.00 The Briefing Room. 11.30
From Our Own Correspondent.
12.00noon News. 12.01 (LW)
Shipping Forecast. 12.04 Money
Box. 12.30 The Now Show. 12.57
Weather. 1.00 News. 1.10 Any
Questions? 2.00 Any Answers? 2.45
One To One. 3.00 Drama: Return
To Vegas: A Musical Drama. 4.00
Weekend Woman’s Hour. 5.00
Saturday PM. 5.54 Shipping Forecast.
5.57 Weather. 6.00 Six O’Clock
News. 6.15 Loose Ends. 7.00 Profile.
9.00 Money Box. 9.25 Appeal. 9.30
Analysis. 10.00 The Westminster
Hour. 11.00 The Film Programme.
11.30 Something Understood.
12.00m’t News And Weather. 12.15
Thinking Allowed. 12.45 Bells On
Sunday. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00
As BBC World Service. 5.20-5.30am
Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live
(MW: 909/993 kHz) 5.00am 5 Live
Science. 6.00 Sunday Breakfast.
9.00 5 Live Politics. 10.00 Laura
Whitmore. 11.30 5 Live Sport:The
Squad With Nick Bright. 12.30pm
5 Live Sport. 6.00 6-0-6. 7.00 At
Thinkers. 9.30 Start The Week. 9.59
Weather. 10.00 The World Tonight.
10.45 Book at Bedtime:The Mirror
And The Light. 11.00 Lights Out.
11.30 Today In Parliament. 12.00m’t
News And Weather. 12.30 Book of
the Week. 12.48 Shipping Forecast.
1.00 As BBC World Service.
5.20-5.30am Shipping Forecast.
Radio 5 Live (MW: 909/993
kHz) 5.00am Morning Reports.
5.15 Wake Up To Money. 6.00 5 Live
Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00 The
Emma Barnett Show. 1.00pm Nihal
Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive.
Weird Britain. 10.00 The World
Tonight. 10.45 Book at Bedtime:The
Mirror And The Light. 11.00 Geoff
Norcott: Hates Being Told What
To Do. 11.30 Today In Parliament.
12.00m’t News And Weather. 12.30
Book of the Week: Charles Dickens:
A Life. 12.48 Shipping Forecast.
1.00 As BBC World Service.
5.20-5.30am Shipping Forecast.
Radio 5 Live (MW: 909/993
kHz) 5.00am Morning Reports.
5.15 Wake Up To Money. 6.00 5 Live
Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00 The
Emma Barnett Show. 1.00pm Nihal
Earth. 9.30 The Media Show. 9.59
Weather. 10.00 The World Tonight.
10.45 Book at Bedtime:The Mirror
And The Light. 11.00 Tim Key’s Late
Night Poetry Programme. 11.30 One
To One. 11.45 Today In Parliament.
12.00m’t News And Weather. 12.30
Book of the Week. 12.48 Shipping
Forecast. 1.00 As BBC World Service.
5.20-5.30am Shipping Forecast.
Radio 5 Live (MW: 909/993
kHz) 5.00am Morning Reports.
5.15 Wake Up To Money. 6.00 5 Live
Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00 The
Emma Barnett Show. 1.00pm Nihal
9.30 In Our Time. 10.00 The World
Tonight. 10.45 Book at Bedtime:
The Mirror And The Light. 11.00
Welcome To Wherever You Are.
11.30 Out Loud. 12.00m’t News
And Weather. 12.30 Book of the
Week. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00
As BBC World Service. 5.20-5.30am
Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live
(MW: 909/993 kHz) 5.00am Morning
Reports. 5.15 Wake Up To Money.
6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 9.00 Your
Call. 10.00 The Emma Barnett Show.
1.00pm Nihal Arthanayake. 4.00
5 Live Drive. 7.00 The Inside Track.
10.00 The World Tonight. 10.45
Book at Bedtime. 11.00 A Good
Read. 11.25 The Book Of Polyamory.
11.55 The Listening Project.
12.00m’t News. 12.30 Book of the
Wee. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 1.00
As BBC World Service. 5.20-5.30am
Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live
(MW: 909/993 kHz) 5.00am
Morning Reports. 5.15 Wake Up To
Money. 6.00 5 Live Breakfast. 8.30
Robbie Savage’s Premier League
Breakfast. 9.00 Your Call. 10.00
Chiles On Friday. 1.00pm Elis James
And John Robins. 3.00 Kermode
7.15 Saturday Review. 8.00 Archive
on 4: Riot Remembered. 9.00 Drama:
Day Release. 9.45 Annika Stranded.
10.00 News And Weather. 10.15
Fallout. 11.00 Round Britain Quiz.
11.30 Halal If You Hear Me. 12.00m’t
News And Weather. 12.30 Short
Works. 12.48 Shipping Forecast. 2.00
As BBC World Service. 5.20-5.30am
Shipping Forecast. Radio 5 Live
(MW: 909/993 kHz) 5.00am 5 Live
Boxing. 6.00 Saturday Breakfast. 9.00
Scott Mills And Chris Stark. 11.00
Fighting Talk. 12.00noon 5 Live
Sport. 3.00 5 Live Sport. 5.00 Sports
Home With Colin Murray. 8.00
Peter Allen. 10.00 Stephen Nolan.
1.00-5.00am Up All Night. Radio
Scotland (FM: 92.4-92.7MHz,
MW: 810 (Dumfries 585) kHz)
6.00am Brainwaves. 6.30 New Every
Sunday. 7.00 Our Story. 7.30 The
Kitchen Cafe. 8.00 Good Morning
Scotland. 10.00 Sunday Morning
With Richard Holloway. 12.00noon
Sportsound. 3.00 Brainwaves. 3.30
Out Of Doors. 5.00 Take The Floor.
7.00 Jazz Nights. 9.00 Classics
Unwrapped. 11.00 Iain Anderson.
1.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
7.00 5 Live Sport:The Monday
Night Club. 9.00 5 Live Sport:The
Tuffers And Vaughan Cricket Show.
10.00 Rugby Union Weekly. 10.30
Rick Edwards. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. Radio Scotland (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Good Morning
Scotland. 9.00 Mornings. 12.00noon
Lunchtime Live. 1.30 Clever About
Cash. 2.00 The Afternoon Show
With Janice Forsyth. 4.00 Drivetime.
6.00 Get It On With Grant Stott.
8.00 Vic Galloway. 10.00 Iain
Anderson. 12.00-6.00am As Radio 5.
Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive.
7.00 5 Live Sport. 8.00 5 Live Sport:
International Football 2019-20. 10.30
Rick Edwards. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. Radio Scotland (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Good Morning
Scotland. 9.00 Mornings. 12.00noon
Lunchtime Live. 1.30 Our Story. 2.00
The Afternoon Show With Janice
Forsyth. 4.00 Drivetime. 6.00
Get It On With Grant Stott. 8.00
Another Country With Ricky
Ross. 10.00 Roddy Hart. 12.00-
6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
Arthanayake. 4.00 5 Live Drive. 7.00
5 Live Sport. 8.30 5 Live Sport. 9.30
That Peter Crouch Podcast. 10.30
Rick Edwards. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. Radio Scotland (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Good Morning
Scotland. 9.00 Mornings. 12.00noon
Lunchtime Live. 1.30 Brainwaves.
2.00 The Afternoon Show With
Grant Stott. 4.00 Drivetime. 6.00
Get It On With Bryan Burnett.
8.00 The Quay Sessions With
Roddy Hart. 10.00 Vic Galloway.
12.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
8.00 5 Live Sport: European Football
Show. 9.00 5 Live Formula 1. 9.30
Fantasy 6-0-6. 10.00 Question Time
Extra Time. 1.00-5.00am Up All
Night. Radio Scotland (FM:
92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810 (Dumfries
585) kHz) 6.00am Good Morning
Scotland. 9.00 Mornings. 12.00noon
Lunchtime Live. 1.30 The Kitchen
Cafe. 2.00 The Afternoon Show
With Grant Stott. 4.00 Drivetime.
6.00 Get It On With Bryan
Burnett. 8.00 Travelling Folk.
10.00 Natasha Raskin Sharp.
12.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
And Mayo’s Film Review. 5.00 5 Live
Drive. 7.00 5 Live Sport:The Friday
Football Social. 10.00 Stephen
Nolan. 1.00-5.00am Up All Night.
Radio Scotland
(FM: 92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810
(Dumfries 585) kHz) 6.00am Good
Morning Scotland. 9.00 Mornings.
12.00noon Lunchtime Live. 1.30
Breaking The News. 2.00 The Friday
Afternoon Show. 4.00 Drivetime.
6.00 Grant Stott’s Vinyl Collective.
8.00 The Friday Afternoon
Show. 10.00 Ashley Storrie.
1.00-6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
Report. 6.00 6-0-6. 8.00 Kermode
And Mayo’s Film Review. 9.00
Stephen Nolan. 12.00m’t As Heard
On BBC Sounds. 2.00-5.00am Up
All Night. Radio Scotland
(FM: 92.4-92.7MHz, MW: 810
(Dumfries 585) kHz) 6.00am Clever
About Cash. 6.30 Out Of Doors.
8.00 Good Morning Scotland. 10.00
Shereen. 11.30 Breaking The News.
12.00noon Off The Ball.
2.00 Sportsound. 5.00 Off The
Ball. 7.00 Take The Floor. 9.00
Pipeline. 10.00 Billy Sloan. 2.00-
6.00am As Radio 5 Live.
 MindyEvery
Hammond
week in S Magazine
As the coronavirus crisis deepens, it’s easy to ignore lesser dangers on the horizon.
But, asks our columnist, do we really want wolves back? Illustration by Susan Hellard
I
n the midst of the terrible health problems
sweeping the planet and our growing
concerns that we are caught in the grip of
a 21st-century version of the plague, there
is a little ray of sunshine. The municipal
government in China has finally banned the
trade and consumption of wild animals and
the city of Shenzhen has drafted legislation
to prohibit the consumption of dogs.
There are so many conspiracy theories
around that it’s often difficult to separate fact
from fiction. Was the virus really created in
a lab in China? Or in a Lab(rador) in China,
which had been experimented on and then
sold for meat? (Shudder at the thought.)
Actually, no, that was not the case. I’m sure
very few of us would consider eating man’s
best friend a palatable (excuse the pun) option
and it seems unbelievable that anybody would.
But it seems the coronavirus may have
saved a few thousand canine lives and will
perhaps encourage more humane treatment
of animals in China in future.
Scientists seem to agree the
virus has infected humans
through wildlife and the finger
is being pointed at the bat.
Bats carry many viruses but
they are incredibly resilient
creatures that rarely suffer
illness themselves. The big
problem is their ability to fly
long distances – taking their
unwelcome viral friends with
them. Bats are important to
the world’s ecosystems and
as we all look for an animal to
blame, surely we aren’t going
to revert to running in horror
from our nocturnal friends.
Tragically, there is another
school of thought that
Susan Hellard c/o ARENA
suggests the phenomenally
rare pangolin, which is
illegally trafficked across
Asia, could have picked up
the virus while snuffling for
ants around bat droppings on
the ground and, after being
transported to a wildlife market,
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020  75
somehow transmitted the disease to humans.
Well, I hate to say it, but when humans are
hunting you to extinction, maybe nature
gives you a weapon.
Things happen in nature. Animals evolve
to survive. There’s the rare mangrove killifish,
which self-fertilises, and the northern
snakehead, an invasive fish native to Eurasia
that can breathe air and survive on land for
several days. It’s been seen in 15 US states,
can lay up to 100,000 eggs a year and is
unbelievably destructive. Officials concerned
about the damage it does to native species
advise people to kill it on sight. It might be
a nasty creature, but it has survival skills.
Then there are desert-dwelling kangaroo
rats. Water is scarce, so they never drink
the stuff and have the ability to jump up to
nine feet, which helps them avoid being
eaten. Smart.
Ever seen an okapi? It lives in the Congo
alongside a vast array of predators, so it has
developed infrasonic calls to communicate
with its calves. Oh, and it has a 14-18in-long
tongue – handy for keeping eyes and ears
clean to spot danger.
I seriously doubt any animal has somehow
incubated a nasty virus on purpose to teach
predatory humans a lesson, but nature has
a way of redressing the balance sometimes.
We poison mice and rats to kill them, but
they become immune; we invent a horrible
thing called myxomatosis to control our
rabbit population and now we have to
vaccinate pet rabbits because we can’t
control its spread –yet some “super rabbits”
survive it in the wild.
We cull badgers, blaming them for TB, yet
both wild boar and deer are carriers, and
we’re thinking of reintroducing wolves to
Scotland. How do we think that will pan out?
How long before the idea of using wolves
to control the deer population
backfires? If you were a wolf would
you expend energy chasing
down a flighty deer through
woodland or might you grab
a lamb from that huge flock
meandering across the
lush grass? And how long
before we discover the
wolves didn’t read the
memo and forget they’re
Scottish. Hadrian’s Wall
ain’t gonna keep those
babies out.
Will Little Red Riding
Hood be rewritten in
years to come and
wolves become feared
nationwide – or will it all
work out perfectly?
We’ll have to wait and
see. But if other species
can adapt and survive, I’m
sure we humans will get
through coronavirus. And
perhaps, in the end, the
world and its creatures will
all learn to coexist with a
smidge more respect. ● S

getty images
Ewan McGregor, Aries, March 31, 1971
Aries Mar 21 - apr 20
You’re looking at new ways of earning some
cash. A freelance work assignment could
be the answer. It will be hard work but it will
be lucrative. You’re bound to feel frustrated
with anyone who tries to talk you out of it.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3901*
Taurus APR 21 - May 21
Be prepared as someone is about to stand
in your way and they will try to stop you
from taking action. You might feel hesitant
about confronting them so instead try being
guarded about the information you give out.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3902*
Express
Bookshop
We offer a mail-order service for
any book in print and available in
the UK, including those in this issue.
Order online at expressbookshop.
co.uk or call with your card on
01872 562310. There is a UK
p&p charge of £2.95 per order.
Delivery of orders over £12.99 is
free. Cheques and postal orders
are no longer accepted.
S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020  77
What does this week hold for you?
Gemini may 22 - jun 21
You and a partner seem to be talking a
different language these days. One or both
of you keeps misunderstanding what the
other is saying. You might notice the same
issue happening in other relationships, too.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3903*
Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 23
Some people around you are in a tizzy. If
you’re worried about a situation, turn to a
Virgo friend who is good at creating order
out of chaos. Comments or advice from an
old friend will give you food for thought.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3904*
Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
A difference of opinion could escalate as
someone is waiting for you to object to their
ideas. Tread carefully to avoid an argument.
If you’re mischievous, you might deliberately
say the opposite to what they expect.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3905*
Virgo Aug 24 - Sept 23
It will test your temper when people who
should work as a team can’t seem to
communicate. A group event will be so
disorganised that you will take the lead in
sorting everything out or pull out altogether.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3906*
Libra Sept 24 - Oct 23
An investment venture is losing you money
and causing you to worry. It may be time to
cut your losses so explore this with the help
of professionals. It might be possible to
capitalise on other aspects of your finances.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3907*
*For Russell’s starline: Calls to starlines cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access charge – maximum of six minutes
duration. The service is for entertainment only. SP: Spoke 0333 202 3390
Russell Grant
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
You’re swamped with demands and there
is hardly a moment to call your own. Your
job will interfere with your off-duty hours.
Plans you have made with friends face
being cancelled as work takes priority.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3908*
Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
A friend is bending over backwards to make
a good impression. You appreciate their
efforts but what’s starting to worry you is
how long this will last. Either their feelings
will wane or it will all get too much for you.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3909*
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
You feel as if you’re being pulled in
opposing directions. Your partner needs
attention and social commitments are hard
to beg off. You can’t be in two places at
once, so it’s necessary to prioritise.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3910*
Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
Jobs you should be able to do with your
eyes closed suddenly seem complex. If
you’re working to a deadline, this will absorb
a lot of your free time. It gets worse the
harder you try and the results will disappoint.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3911*
Pisces FEB 20 - Mar 20
Your partner is expecting you to match their
enthusiasm for romance whenever they’re
in the mood. You could give in to their
desire at every turn but doing so may leave
you feeling drained as the month ends.
Call one of my dedicated astrologers for a
more in-depth reading on ✆ 0905 789 3912*
 £1,000 Crossword
ACROSS DOWN
1 Franco _, Italian director 1 Landlocked country in
of the 1968 film Romeo & southern Africa, the capital
Juliet and 1977 TV series of which is Harare (8)
Jesus Of Nazareth (10) 2 Solid particles that descend
5 A South African tea believed from the atmosphere on to
to have tonic properties (7) the Earth following a nuclear
10 Another name for the explosion (7)
Catholic Hail Mary (3,5) 3 Digs up something buried;
11 Fictional schoolboy who disinters (7)
attended Greyfriars (5,6) 4 A talk on a subject given to
12 Body of water between an audience, especially at
southeast Europe and a university or college (7)
Asia (5,3) 6 _ 3, a polyunsaturated fatty
13 The nest of an eagle or acid found in fish oil (5)
other bird of prey (5) 7 English actor known for his
14 People who serve at horror film roles, including
tables in a restaurant (7) playing Frankenstein’s
17 State of the northeastern monster in three movies
US, the capital of which is in the 1930s (5,7)
Dover (8) 8 A traveller who goes by
20 A person who refrains from ocean (8)
using animal products for 9 Flexible metal strand with
food, clothing, or any other sharp points sticking out of
Post your solution to Competition 16072 Sunday Express General Knowledge purpose (5) it; used to make fences (6,4)
(£1,000) Crossword, PO Box 12577, Sutton Coldfield B73 9BS, to arrive by 23:59 21 Fine deposit of mud, clay, 15 The First Lady of the
on Friday. Spellings and definitions are taken from the Collins English Dictionary etc, especially in a river or Philippines, 1965-86 (6,6)
(13th edition out now, price £40), which is available to order from the Express lake (4) 16 Pierre-Auguste _, French
Bookshop (see page 77). For full terms, go to www.express.co.uk/comprules. 22 A river in central Europe, Impressionist whose works
rising in the Czech Republic include Dance at le Moulin
Name _______________________________________________________________ and flowing north and west de la Galette (1876) (6)
to the Baltic (4) 18 Republic in northeast
Address_____________________________________________________________ 23 Transparent flap on a Europe, on the Gulf of Riga
helmet that can be pulled and the Baltic Sea (6)
____________________________________________________________________ down to protect the face (5) 19 Any of the regional districts
26 (Of a menu) having dishes of Japan administered by
____________________________________________________________________ listed separately and a governor (10)
Winners will be announced in the Sunday Afternoon section of Sunday’s newspaper in two weeks individually priced (1,2,5) 24 Person or organisation
28 Having a bad effect on acting as a protector
SOLUTION FOR MARCH 22
WIN
something else; injurious (7) or guardian against
S P E C K S A B R A C A D A B R A 30 _ lily, southern African plant inefficiency, illegal practices,
L A P K L R Z U £50 MYSTERY with a white funnel-shaped etc (8)
S A M P H I R E C A T A P U L T S WORD BONUS spathe and yellow spadix (5) 25 A light, rubber-soled
Z R T L B B R H 31 A keyed woodwind canvas shoe worn for
Call 0907 181 2738 for
F A G I N G A D D A F I E C R U a chance to win £50. Give instrument with a cylindrical sport (8)
E U M U M A E the answer to 14 Across, bore and single reed (8) 27 Air _ or swim _, air-filled
U N A T R A I N F U N K leaving your name and 33 People whose profession organ that regulates
address. Calls cost 80p
D E N T I S T R Y C Y D per minute plus your
involves the management buoyancy in fish (7)
X H S B E A U L I E U telephone company’s of funerals (11) 28 The Roman emperor
D E L E G A T E M D L network access charge 34 A stoppered bottle, usually who ordered the building
and last no longer than
C F C G E N E K E L L Y of glass, into which a drink of a famous wall across
two minutes. Usual
P U N T H A V E N L A A Express rules apply. For is poured for serving (8) northern Britain (7)
T U E A S C W full terms go to express. 35 Elizabeth _, 19th-century 29 Dame Alicia _, ballerina
V I N E S A R A W A K S T E R N co.uk/comptc. The winner author whose novels and choreographer; the first
will be chosen from all
O L E M D T A O
correct entries received include Cranford and Mary British dancer to become
I N F L A T I O N D O W N P O U R by 23:59 on Saturday. The Barton (7) the principal dancer of a
E I T N E E E E editor’s decision is final. 36 Major water-traffic corridor ballet company (7)
I R I S H S E T T E R E R R A N D SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390.
of the city of Venice (5,5) 32 Of or relating to birth (5)

78  S MAGAZINE ★ 29 MARCH 2020