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Sexual Identity: Characteristics, Which Is Not Socially Based But Based On Biology, A Concept Related To
Sexual Identity: Characteristics, Which Is Not Socially Based But Based On Biology, A Concept Related To
characteristic? Is it some combination of the two? In this report, we are going to discuss this
topic of sexual identity. We will approach it from a definition standpoint, so that all who read
can have the same understanding that we have. We will show how it has progressed through
the recent years in the media. We will take a Biblical stance and define the topic based on the
Scriptures. Finally, we will show what and how it might look like in the local community or even
So what exactly do we mean when we say sexual identity? Wikipedia describes sexual
identity as
a term that, like sex, has two distinctly different meanings. One describes an identity
characteristics, which is not socially based but based on biology, a concept related to,
This can make for some confusion. In addition, to make matters worse some define sexual
identity as simply “how a person sees him or herself physically, e.g. male or female” 2 which
would be the same as sexual characteristics. Others state that it is the “feelings about ones
own sexual orientation, gender, gender role and gender identity. 3” As you can tell, there are
many different ideas as to what sexual identity truly is. This is one of the purposes of this
report to help clarify some of these topics and understand how we as youth ministers, pastors,
or even lay people within the church can help our congregations.
As shown in the definition above there are other words in which we need a little more
(this is whether we are physically male or female), and gender identity. We will try to help in
giving a better understanding to what we mean by each of these terms and how you can use
them properly. Take notice that there are some key words to make sure the person you are
talking with, describes them the way you would when talking about this subject; orientation,
We will begin with sexual orientation as defined by the Sexuality Information and
Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) as an individual in which their orientation is
“based on whom they are attracted to or fall in love with, this is not always the case.
For example, there are some people who have sexual thoughts and experiences with
people of the same gender, but do not consider themselves to be gay, lesbian, or
bisexual. And there are people who have sexual thoughts and experiences with people
For the purpose of this report, we will define sexual orientation as the gender of the objects of
our sexual desires. Based on this definition, we need to define more about what the different
The first sexual identity is heterosexual, which refers to a person who is attracted to and
falls in love with someone of another gender, and homosexual refers to a person who is
attracted to and falls in love with someone of the same gender. A bisexual person is attracted
to and falls in love with someone of another or the same gender.5 However, this is not the
complete list of terms, which currently exists in our society. There are two new terms that have
been added recently, questioning and transgender. Questioning is a person who is unsure of
his/her sexual orientation. Transgender is an individual whose internal feelings of being male
or female differ from the sexual anatomy they were born with, but this is in reference to
This brings us to define gender identity, which refers to how someone actually feels
about his or her gender and his or her role. It does not refer to any physical characteristics (i.e.
male or female genitalia) that the person might have, but it is a feeling or perception within
their mind of who they are. It was a term that came about to describe a reason for why
someone might have sex reassignment surgery. Even the American Psychiatric Association has
a classification within their DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) for a
person who has issues with gender identity to try to help prescribe the correct treatment for
him or her.
As one can see, sexual identity is not just a simple topic like discussing sports or music.
Moreover, if it is this difficult for us as leaders within the church to understand, how do we
expect our youth or congregations to understand what they are feeling or even where to begin
to help them. Nevertheless, we as the leaders in our churches need to pay attention to this
information and learn how to help our youth and their parents work through this issue.
Some might say that they are not seeing any of this type of sexual conduct within their
situations has increased dramatically in the past forty plus years in our television shows and
movies. With this knowledge, we cannot walk blindly around and suspect that there is no effect
What issues, if any, can arise from a problem with sexual identity? What are our youth
who are dealing with this problem, actually going through in their schools? One problem is
bullying and this is affecting the lives of our youth in more ways than we can imagine.
According to the SIECUS, over twice as many lesbian, gay and bisexual students (19%)
report being threatened or injured with a weapon at their public high school during the year
over that of heterosexual students (8%).7 In addition, LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender, and questioning) students are twice as likely to skip school (16% versus 8%)
because of similar reasons. The suicide rates of the LGBTQ are almost four times as high as all
The good news is, there are a growing number of resources and support for LGBTQ youth.
The first Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA)—school clubs that promote tolerance and respect for
Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, reports that there are now over 3,000 of the
This is a problem for the church and for schools. Someone might state, well they are not in my
schools. I would caution you to not walk blindly and that you might want to investigate this
issue before making that statement. At the time of this writing, a local university had a group
listed on the universities website for the GSA. In addition, there has been at least one school
district, which has gone to court in reference with trying to keep these organizations out of
their schools (which they lost). This is a problem but it is also an opportunity for us as church
leaders. A group like this is actually open to anyone and if we proceed cautiously, we can reach
Also as a leader within the church, we need to become very aware of what our youth
and congregations are dealing with, individually and as a group. We need to start putting into
place strategies in how to deal with the type of bullying we were discussing above. In addition,
we need strategies that deal with the lack of education, and even the possibility of a suicide
that might occur within our local schools because of this type of bullying. However, this will not
be an easy task because the lines are blurred even more by what the media is showing as
acceptable.
Channel Surfing: Sexual Identity in Media
It happens as soon as you turn on the TV, pick up a newspaper, or access the Internet.
You are automatically engaged with the world and its culture. What you could find is
something that might challenge you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. A growing theme in
entertainment media is the portrayal of homosexuals or the question of sexual identity among
characters on TV networks, music, movies, and all types of other media. There is no doubt that
the surge of homosexual characters on the TV screen is fueling the issues and struggles of those
dealing with it in private. Teenagers deal with identity issues, it is the crux of puberty; sexual
identity adds to the confusion, and the media adds to the chaos. The goal here is to examine
the increasing popularity and the so-called relevance of how homosexual are portrayed and
how it is affecting the culture, especially the youth culture and their formation of sexual
identity.
Since the invention of motion pictures and then the arrival of the personal television,
milestones have been accomplished and boundaries have been crossed. With the arrival of the
home TV, families have let things in their houses they would have never have opened the door
for. This time it happens with flick of the remote. Homosexuality is not something that is new or
a just fixation of the culture. It has been around since Adam and Eve rebelled and sinned
against God. Though the truly saddening thing is sin, crises, and struggles are not seen as what
they are. They are merely lifestyle choices that one must make, not something someone must
run from and repent of. Making such statements can mean many things in many different
circles. Some would criticize, condemn, and maybe ostracize me for making such a subtle
statement about homosexuality. However, the goal is ultimately to see how the culture has
moved from a conservative approach on the lifestyle to a accepting or some would say
indifferent approach.
If you were to flip through the TV Guide or TV shows you would find 20 different major
programming.8 Since the 1960’s the increasing number of characters of the homosexual
lifestyle has grown exponentially. Though some of the characters were not leading roles or
supporting cast, they may be guest appearances; the lifestyle is in full view of the public. From
one documented homosexual character in the 60’s to over 350-documented characters in the
1990’s, the trend of homosexual characters has grown.9 What does this tell us? Are the
networks pushing things on the American people or is it a reflection of the country’s beliefs.
This is a heated debate between liberals and conservatives, Christians and atheists. Regardless
of your view, the facts tell of an increase in the portrayal of the homosexual lifestyle.
The 2000’s were a milestone for homosexuals in the realm of television. Many may
recall shows like Will and Grace, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy bolting to the top of ratings
and popularity. It seems that gay and lesbians are not supporting cast or guest appearances,
but the subject matter for the shows. Each year more and more are recorded. Marianne Steffey
from the East Tennessean talked about the social acceptance of homosexuality in media, “…
society has welcomed more and more homosexuals into its loving arms under the umbrella of
would say that the images we see on TV are due to the images we see in the culture. Though it
could be said the reason why one sees it in the culture is because of what is seen on TV. This is
almost impossible to trace, but must be in the thought process of any addressing the subject. If
one negates that train of thinking they are simply not taking a critical approach of their thought.
We come to the point of what drives culture; the media or is the culture an organism in itself
that operates according to its own needs. No one knows. But, we do know that culture can be
changed and manipulated through engagement. It has happened throughout the history of
The Group called GLAAD (Gays and Lesbians Alliance Against Defamation) is the de-facto
representative for homosexual portrayal in the media. The group is the watchdog for any kind
of anti-gay/lesbian speech, or anything that could be considered that. When CNN posted a poll
on their website asking “Is the surge in gay TV characters ‘bad for society’?” the organization
was quick to criticize and condemn the poll.11 The article went on to say that the organization
would challenge this type of coverage. GLAAD sees the poll as something that intentionally
seeks to destroy homosexual credibility. In fact the GLAAD organization keeps tabs on the
“The Where We Are On TV Report” is an annual report the organization puts out to see
where and how the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/or Transgender population is represented. 12 This has
been an annual report for over fifteen years. The president of GLAAD thinks the rise is because
of the culture’s awareness, "The increase in lesbian, gay, and bisexual characters on primetime
television not only reflects the shift in American culture towards greater awareness and
understanding of our community, but also a new industry standard that a growing number of
creators and networks are adopting,"13 Again this side of the issue states that the reason is
because of public acceptance. The ones that do not accept the lifestyle are seen as intolerant.
The Proposition 8 amendment in California is a wakeup call to how people felt about
homosexuality and how they continue to feel. A majority of Californians voted to define
marriage as a union between male and female. This is the public voice of people letting the
government and media know their stance of homosexuality, at least in California. Though it is
not a definitive answer it does gauge what the public feels is right.
acceptability. I would rightly say that being use to the lifestyle in the media is not the same as
accepting. GLAAD only sees the study they conducted as being the standard for all others to be
judged by. The 2005/2006 American Community Survey, an extension of the U.S. Census
estimated that 8.8 million people in the United States would identify themselves as LGBTQ. 14
That is an estimated number, but not a very high number. Of the five broadcast networks ABC,
NBC, CBS, Fox, The CW twenty-three characters are LGBTQ of the 587 total characters. That is a
total of 3.9 percent of characters are LGBTQ on the five broadcast networks the number is up
The statistics are very persuasive. Most would see that the media is just a reflection. But
considering that 8.8 million only accounts for roughly 1% of the population though it is getting
much more influence in the media. At the end of the day what does the numbers of
homosexuals in the media tell us? What can be seen? Is the influx of LGBTQ characters on TV
due to more acceptances or is it due to a minority that finds it acceptable? There is no doubt
that there is an agenda for homosexuals to be seen as a social acceptable lifestyle despite many
deep convictions. Regardless many honest studies will confirm that many of the statistics are
inflated or over estimated. Results from a Gallup poll hint at this same conclusion, “Whether
increased acceptance of homosexuality has led to an upsurge in the number of positive media
portrayals of gay characters or vice versa, one result seems to be that Americans now tend to
overestimate the gay population in America.”16 The poll also states that 6.5% of the TV
Is the portrayal of homosexuals dangerous for developing youth especially when they
are taught in scripture that homosexuality is wrong? Yes, but the conclusion cannot be one
based in hatred or bigotry. It is based on love. Love for our developing and discipleship of youth
and love for those to flee from sexual promiscuity. Ultimately at the end of the day what we see
on TV does not matter when we are finding truth in scripture. But, it does help to know what
the struggles are for youth when developing a healthy, biblical sexual identity and the factors
that influence that development. We must teach youth to think critically and biblically though
crisis situations only then will youth know where their identity lays both spiritually and sexually.
Biblical Insight
So what is our response as youth ministers to such a prevalent and serious issue as this?
Before we take any step forward in approaching or counseling a youth with sexual identity
issues, we must first look at the condition of our own heart, and then the condition of the heart
of the student. Far too many youth ministers, trying to be humorous and seem ‘cool’ have
alienated themselves from the youth in their ministry because of inappropriate jokes on the
nature of sexual identity. Too many have gone through the creation account only to mention
that God did not make “Adam and Steve.” Though some may find it funny, the students who
struggle with their sexuality will not only feel embarrassed, but they certainly feel alienated by
one individual above all others: you. By joking about the serious condition of a student’s
sexuality you communicate to them that you don’t really care. You show them that you have
no real heart in the matter. These students want to talk about what they perceive to be the
When student ministers make light of issues students wrestle with, they ensure that no
student will ever approach them about their inner struggles. Once a student confides in you
with this issue, take extra care to not make light of the problem at hand. “As they seek to
uphold and maintain the divinely revealed moral standards of Scripture, Christians often fail to
keep the attitudes and example of Jesus in mind. Great harm has been done when Christians
confront moral confusion in cruel, self-righteous ways. In the postmodern world, it will be
impossible—even within the community of the church—to successfully grapple with issues like
cohabitation and homosexuality without a degree of humility and self-awareness that the
After checking you own heart, it will be necessary to see the condition of the student’s
heart of whom you are counseling. Are you talking with a Christian who is struggling with their
identity in Christ, or are you talking with a student who is not saved and therefore struggling
with their identity apart from Christ? While sin will be a part of the root issue regardless, the
youth minister must address the most pressing need. There is a root issue at the bottom of this
problem. Though life circumstances and the physical nature of some students play a role in
sexual identity confusion, the truth is that at the heart of any issue which is in opposition to
If it is a Christian student coming to you out of a sense of guilt or shame, then what they
need is to be directed back to a sweeter fellowship with God. Guilt is never meant to drive us
from God. In fact Paul speaks about how guilt (or sorrow) will either lead to repentance and
therefore a return to the sweetness of God’s fellowship, or a running away from God, even
death in 1 Corinthians 7:10. Christian students need to be shown that their guilt over their sin
(not just sexual identity but any sin) is God calling them back to Him. God will not turn His back
If the student who is coming to you about this issue is not a Christian, then we as youth
leaders would fail in our mission of reconciliation if we did not point the student towards Christ.
Their seeing their sexual identity as wrong is ultimately the Holy Spirit opening their eyes to
their overall sin problem. They are coming to realize that they are not right with God and need
abstinent lifestyle but never pointed them to Christ, then we would miss the whole point of the
Gospel. We would be attempting to fix the symptoms and never the root issue of the student’s
Once the student’s heart condition is determined, it will be necessary to direct them to
the authority that we submit ourselves to: God’s word. We condemn homosexuality because
God’s word condemns it, just as God’s word condemns sex outside of the marriage relationship
and pornography. It is not our culture that declares what is a right sexual identity: it’s God
6
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason
a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will
become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has
Yet we also can observe two truths made evident by “Word Power Youth.”
“First, God clearly makes us either male or female (understanding since the fall that the
corrupted genetic code of humans has brought about abnormalities in rare cases). Your
maleness or femaleness is determined by you sexual identity at birth and not by your
Jesus is quite clear as to who can cleave to each other or have sexual relationships with
one another.”18
Jesus affirms the model God laid out in Genesis 1 that one man and one woman are to be
22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… 25 Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Paul states that husbands should love their wives and wives their husbands. Paul does not
recognize a husband and husband or wife and wife relationship. In other passages (1 Timothy
1:10, Romans 1:26-27, and 1 Corinthians 6:9), Paul lists homosexuality among other sins that
are condemned. Nowhere in scripture is the lifestyle of a homosexual (even committed for life
It is necessary for a youth leader to be able to direct students to these passages so that
they can see that God has a plan for their sexual identity and until they align themselves with
His plan for their life will be filled with a guilt that leads to death. Students who struggle need
to see that the issue is their sin, but that redemption is a part of God’s plan. He delights in the
repentance of His children. A student who begins the journey back to God by repenting of
trying to decide their own sexual identity will find a loving God with open arms. Acts 3:19 gives
them hope: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of
Once upon a time youth pastors use to tell their students “True Love Waits.” It was a
popular message in the 90’s, but we cannot stop there anymore. We now have to teach
students in that “True Love Waits for someone of the Opposite Gender.” These days as early as
the third grade girls are caught kissing girls in gym class. Middle school girls are getting caught
making out in front of the parent pick up line after small groups at church on Wednesday night.
Guys are struggling with their sexual identity. The “don’t ask don’t tell” mentality of the army
has made its way into the church, and it is not ok for the church to stay silent on this issue.
Many of these gay and lesbian youth are still claiming faith affiliation. This is not an isolated
event that takes place in someone else’s church. We have the students of other church staff
wrestling with same sex attraction issues. What is a youth pastor to do?
The problem is LGBTQ youth are committing suicide and the rest of the world is blaming
the church. Why does society today seem to say, “The way my bible believing friends reacted
to a LGBTQ coming out of the closet caused them to end their life?” Where is the church?
Where is the love? These accusations are not ok, but to some extent the church and our lack of
a response is unloving and we are to easily to blame. We have not equipped our students to
love people enough to tell them the truth. Telling someone the truth does not have to be like
waking someone from a deep sleep with a bright light. The gospel is offensive, but does that
mean that we have to be? Is there not a way we could teach our students to embrace their
LGBTQ friends with the love of Christ and teach their friends to want to take their spiritual
blinders off?
“The god of this age has blinded the eyes of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the
light of the gospel, the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (II Cor 4:4). It is not a very
effective method to run around with a big spot light and trying to rip the spiritual blinders off of
people. My question is this: can we as Christians simply love people in a way that causes them
to want to take their blinders off? It may be better for us to walk with them for a while until
they ask us what we think, then they may be ready to hear the life changing truth of the gospel.
There once was a high school student who was abused by a youth pastor when he was
in middle school. It did not help that this student had already been struggling with same sex
attraction issues before the abuse occurred. He had huge questions, but most people would
not even give him the space to ask them. At a sleep over, Facebook forced him out of the
closet. The problem was that both of these student’s parents were on staff at my church. We
went for a long walk around this big pond. It was about a mile all the way around. I decided to
just say to this student, “I love you and care about you and am here to talk if you want to, but
you don’t have to.” We walked three quarters of the way around that pond in silence, but then
How far will you walk with a student who is struggling? How much time do you have for
youth in this crisis? It is obvious to me that we have not walked far enough, and have not
listened long enough to even earn the right to be heard. When people really are ready to hear
middle school, high school, and college students is: “Do gay people go to hell?” We must be
prepared to give an answer for the hope that we have. Before I give an answer to that loaded
question I always ask, “How much time do you have?” Then I answer with a series of questions
that will lead us right back to Jesus and the Gospel depending on how much time they have.
“Do you believe there is a heaven and a hell? Why? Do you believe the bible is the inspired
word of God? Who goes to hell and why? Who goes to heaven and why?” These questions
could take hours, but the conversation is so much fun. Just answering do gay people go to hell,
is not a fair question, because the truth is that everyone who rejects Christ and the Holy Spirit
drawing them to Himself is guilty of the unforgivable sin against God and will go to hell for
Last month at our church youth group outreach night, at a table of 5 self proclaimed
lesbians who were playing Uno, one of them asked me that question as I was passing by their
table just saying hi. An hour later, one girl put her bible back in here backpack and said, “Why
didn’t anyone ever show me those verses?” She then turned to her friend and said, “We have
to stop, I don’t want to go to hell.” Her friend responded, “Let’s just go to hell together baby.”
My questions to them were, who else do you ask these questions to? What do they tell you?
Why did you ask me? Do you really want to know? So we went there, not in judgment and
condemnation, but in love we turned the lights on as they started pulling back their blinders.
Can we love them enough to tell them the truth? Next week they were all back at church.
The bible is open to your interpretation and misinterpretation, but what we think about
truth, does not make something true or untrue. We cannot make the Bible mean whatever we
want it to mean. Truth is truth and we cannot deny or change the truth. You can not take out
certain parts that you don’t like to read or add anything else to it either. The bible is clear that
sin separates us from God, and that Jesus died for all our sin and He wants us to come to him by
grace through faith. The question students should really be asking is not, do Gay people go to
hell, but rather what is the Christians response to someone who is living in sin? This question
covers all sin, both hetro- and homo-sexual, lust, gossip, greed, gluttony, ect. I love Jesus’
words to the woman caught in adultery. He said to this woman, “Then neither do I condemn
you,” Jesus declared, “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11). Jesus spoke offensive
truth in an inoffensive way. He loved people enough to tell them the truth.
There is a homosexual agenda trying to remove our sexual identity choices from our list
of sin, but we cannot. We must love people enough to tell them the truth. We equally cannot
allow gay bashing, or bullying for any LGBTQ youth. We must love the church enough to tell
them the truth. There are support groups all around the country popping up for LGBTQ youth.
I wonder what would happen if we encouraged some of our students to go to them. Not to
cram our bibles down their throats in judgment and condemnation, or to burn their buildings
down, but just to walk with them and love them. How far will you walk, how long will you
listen? Can you even wait to be asked for the reason of the hope that you have? Does your life
reflect Christ love enough for people to ask you those kinds of questions? It really is not about
teaching people to speak so that others will listen. It is about teaching people to listen so that
16
Jennifer Robinson, “What Percentage of the Population is Gay?” Gallup.com, accessed 3 December
2010; available from http://www.gallup.com/poll/6961/what-percentage-population-gay.aspx.;
Internet.
17
“Why must Christians continue to affirm biblical sexual values in the face of widespread modern
social approval of behaviors like “hooking up,” cohabitation, and homosexuality?”