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Helicopter Parents:
How Teachers Can
Bring them Back Down PROGRAM
INFORMATION
to Earth
By Brian P. Gatens • July 13, 2015 MEd 
Programs
    
EdD 
Programs
You’ll work with a wide spectrum of families over
your career, and one of the most challenging will
be the ones who overparent their children.

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Popularly known as “helicopter parents,”’ they are

prone to: Email

Pouncing on a teacher seemingly from the

moment an assignment is given.
Micro-analyzing every grade that goes home. SUBSCRIBE

Looking constantly for signs of progress or

struggle.
Showing far more concern about the student’s
work than the student does.

When this is happening, it’s hard to tell who is the

student and who is the parent. These are among
the more challenging parents to work with
because their need for constant attention
becomes a drain on a teacher’s limited time and
resources. Here are a few things you can do:

Start with understanding

the behavior
My experience has been that an overparenting
family is acting primarily out of a genuine fear that
their child may struggle academically or miss out
on future academic opportunities.

A secondary reason is especially pronounced in

communities that have high levels of competition
for admission into elite colleges and universities.
This concern can sometimes rise to the level of
near-obsession — allowing it to continue
unabated isn’t healthy for the family or child.

Understanding the behavior doesn’t excuse it. You

just need to take certain steps for your peace of
mind and the long-term needs of the child.

Communicate well
Letting parents know when and how you’ll be in
touch regarding a child’s progress is the first step
in preventing issues from arising. When there is a
vacuum in communication, the overparenting
family will rush right in with questions and
expectations.

Begin the year by communicating how a child’s

progress will be measured, what the class
expectations are and whom to contact when
assistance is needed. Spend time reviewing these
expectations in class and send them home to be
read, reviewed and signed o� by parents.

Set boundaries
When you begin to suspect a parent will be
expecting daily or even hourly communication on
a child’s progress, it’s essential to o�er clear
parameters for when you’ll respond. Some
teachers make the mistake of supplying their
cellphone number to parents to make
communication easier.

Giving a parent that kind of instant access, in

which immediate replies are expected, only
reinforces their expectation for individual
attention. I strongly discourage teachers from
interweaving their professional and personal
communications. An excellent solution is to use a
one-way texting service such as remind.com that
enables you to push text messages out, but
doesn’t allow replies.

Focus on developing the

child’s independence
Perhaps the worst side e�ect of overparenting is
the child developing a lack of e�ort and
responsibility. When the mother or father take on
the responsibility for checking the gradebook,
finding homework assignments and following up
with the teacher, the child becomes a spectator.

Be consistent in your messaging that the child

must be age-appropriately responsible for the
work expected in your class. If the parent comes
to you with a question from the child, politely
request that the child come and see you a�er
school or between classes.

It’s essential that children develop the ability to

speak to an adult about a question or a concern.
This type of self-advocacy will serve them well
when they’re no longer under the direct
supervision of their parents.

Keep your principal in the

loop
The overparenting family is usually quick to
contact the administration if they feel that their
(unreasonable) expectations aren’t being met. Be
sure to bring your principal or immediate superior
into the loop early and o�en.

Keeping a separate file with all of your

communication and outreach is a good idea, as it
provides the backup to record your e�orts. It also
shows the attention that you’ve paid to the
situation. Ask for advice and guidance from your
principal, and you may find yourself pleasantly
surprised to learn this is not the first time that this
family has been a challenge.

Related
Five Tips for Teachers Working with
Underparenting Families

Tags: Mid-Career Teacher, New Teacher,

Principals, Professional Development, Teacher-
Parent Relationships, Veteran Teacher
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