Montoya 1

Destinee Montoya
Unit #1 Essay #1
FHS 2450-501
26 January 2020
Parental Communication
Question
Why do you think some parents (maybe yours included) are hesitant to discuss sexuality with
their children? If you are not a parent, do you think you will communicate about sexuality like
your parents or will you approach the subject differently? If you are a parent, have you
communicated to your children about sexuality? Was your approach different than your parents?
Answer
I think that some parents, which kind of includes mine, are hesitant to have discussions with their
children about sexuality is because they don’t want to think of their child as a sexual being.
According to “Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions” by David Knox and Susan
Milstein, “the idea of sex/sexuality tends to make people think about naked bodies or autonomy”
(Knox & Milstein, 2017, p. 12). Parents don’t want to view their own children as people who
have sex, so some parents might feel that if they don’t draw attention to the subject matter by
having conversations with their children about it, then they won’t be in the awkward situation of
thinking about their child having sex or the autonomy that it involves.
When it came to my mom having “the talk” with me, it didn’t happen in the traditional way that
most people have it in their adolescence. I have my mother’s permission to talk about this, so
that won’t be an issue. When I was younger, I was a very curious child, so whenever I had a
question about sexuality, I would ask my mom. My mom thought it was very important to be
open and honest about everything, so she made sure to answer any questions that I had, even if
they were strange or awkward. She never wanted to hide anything from me or have me
potentially go somewhere else and receive misinformation.
Since I’m not currently a parent, I don’t have any experience having these types of
conversations. If I do decide to have kids, I think that I would want to take a similar approach to
the one that my mom took. If my child is curious about things involving sexuality, I want to
make sure that I’m answering their questions to the best of my abilities. That means I want to
make sure that I’m providing them with the most current and accurate information that I can. I
think one way that I would differ from my mom and the way that she taught me would be to
make an effort to remind my child about what I’ve taught them and to continue to have those
conversations with them into their adolescence. I wouldn’t want my child to forget what I’ve
taught them, especially during the crucial time that adolescence is. I think that if I were to have
the information that she taught me reinforced during my adolescence, it would have stuck a little
bit better in my mind and it could have further normalized these types of conversations between
my mother and I. I think that when I became a teenager, I started to feel awkward and self-
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conscious about asking questions that involved anything deemed by our society to be taboo, like
sexuality, so I avoided initiating those types of conversations with my mom. I think that if she
were the one to initiate them, it would have made me more comfortable with the subject and it
would’ve made it feel like it was normal to talk about those types of things.
At the end of the day, I think that it’s vital that parents have conversations about sexuality with
their children. If they don’t make that effort to do so, their child might feel the need to get that
information somewhere else, which could lead to misinformation, and/or they might feel like the
subject isn’t that necessary to talk about and learn. Ensuring that your child is given the best and
most accurate information about the subject matter during their adolescence is very important
and letting them know that it’s normal to want to talk about/experience these things is just as
crucial.
Reference
Knox, D., & Milstein, S. (2017). Human sexuality: Making informed decisions (5th ed.) [with
Salt Lake Community College supplement]. Redding, CA: BVT Publishing.