An Address

to
Indian
Patriarchy

Nishtha Mishra

UNiSTAR
 International Publishers
of Indian and Foreign Languages

Representation Offices
• 596 Street, Madera, California-93638
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ISBN : 978-93-

An Address to Indian Patriarchy

by
Nishtha Mishra

Dedicated to
2015
Unistar Books Pvt. Ltd. my ever-inspirational mother,
S.C.O. 26-27, Sector 34 A, Chandigarh-160022
India Prof. Usha Mishra
Ph. +91-172-5077427, 5077428
email : unistarbooks@gmail.com and the loving memories of my father,
Printed & bound at Unistar Books Pvt. Ltd.
301, Industrial Area, Phase-9, Dr. Gauri Shankar Mishra
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© 2015
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 Contents
1. Foreword.
2. My father, an inspirational patriarch 13
3. Mechanisms of Patriarchy Exposed 16
4. Freedom Denied, Girl Child 19
5. Menstruation Tabooed 20
6. Appearance Valued 22
7. Rape justified! 24
8. Marriage advertised 30
9. That Sex Unwanted! 31
10. Domestic Violence redefined 33
11. Be alarmed for each look undignified! 38
12. How Am I the Weak one? 40
13. Learn to understand the meaning of my “No” 42
14. What’s wrong in being Feminine? 44
15. Parenting reformed 47
16. Self-reformed 50
17. Existence Ceased 54

4 5
 Acknowledgement
No work done is a single-handed effort. There are numerous
hands working in assistance to hand down information and
feedback, compile it into a coherent whole and see it to its
completion. There are others who are a constant source of
inspiration and encouragement. Firstly, I am thankful to my
brother, Mayank Mishra with all my heart, who played an
active part- right from the conception of the idea of compiling
my poems into a book till its publishing. His constant
encouragement helped the successful completion of the book.
Next I owe my thanks and want to acknowledge my indebtness
to Lt. Aditya Mishra who served as a critic for all the poems.
His feedback helped me stay on the realistic ground rather
than soaring in over-feministic flights. He unfailingly
encouraged me to write further whenever I lost inspiration.
My mother Prof. Usha Mishra and my sister Shriya Mishra
bore patiently all my whims as I worked on this book and
provided constant encouragement. Last but not the least I
want to thank my family and friends for their best wishes and
encouragement.
Nishtha Mishra

6 7
 Foreword
An Address to Indian Patriarchy is conceptualised as a
direct address to Indian Patriarchal system. It is an attempt to
voice out the feelings that almost every woman has felt at
some time of her life. As such it seeks to create a sense of
empathy among all. Women Empowerment in India is
different from what it has been in the west. The issues like
job opportunities and voting rights that has been the agenda
of western revolutions in favour of women were taken care of
by Indian constitution from the start. Their implementation
however was not that successful because Indians till date have
their feet deeply rooted in mythology which they believe
doesn’t favour women coming in limelight. I haven’t touched
much upon those issues that the government is working upon
because soon enough those issues will be dealt with. Instead I
have attempted to unearth those issues that escape being
surfaced.
In this book, I have tried to retell mythological facts and
fiction to reveal that side of its coin that actually favoured
women and thus was always kept hidden from the general
point of view. The contemporary stories of female success
and empowerment is a thing everyone talks about and knows
but how this can be lineated with the age-old stories that show
them as a continuation of the tradition is what is being shown
here. In a culture that prides itself for its mythological heritage,

8 9
which binds its women stating mythological examples, what
can be a better source to bring out the facts that favoured
women from the start and what can be a better way to make
men understand that women are actually their equals and not
subordinates!
Despite having references from mythology, the issues and
ideas addressed in this book are contemporary and of
significance in the world of today. The examples that we see
in our homes and follow unconsciously have been presented
in a new light.
The book is distinctively divided into two parts. It starts
with a poem about my father whom I call upon as the Muse
of my work and who is an apt example of how men can
incorporate equality within their families. The first lot of
poems are assertive in their approach while the others are
combative. The first half addresses the burning women issues
of the decade meant for awakening the eyes of the readers
with regard to them. The reality of atrocities portrayed is for
sensitive souls to stand and react against them. And these souls
include both men and women-those who want the change.
The issues dealt with in this book are not of female interests
alone but it covers the interests of men as well.
The second half of the book contains poems that invoke
self-realization in Women about their capabilities and powers.
This section shuns the very belief that women are the weaker
sex with the help of concrete examples. It rediscovers the scope
of female identity as one that is powerful than their male
counterparts.
I must apologise for taking a great deal of liberty from
standard English verse forms and metres, and also for deviating
from the commonly accepted sentence syntax at many places.
10
But all of it was essential to suit my purpose, a factor which is
accepted in the post-colonial debates.
Remembrance and understanding of the ideas is the main
purpose of this book. For remembering a thing, there isn’t a
form more appropriate than rhyme and poetry. I have
consciously put in effort to thread the pearls of my thoughts
onto the string of rhyme. Also it is said that “Brevity is the
soul of wit” and poetry is appropriate form for presenting
what has to be said in a brief and interesting manner. As for
providing an understanding and insight as poetry tends to be
quite obscure at times, I have added a section called “Author’s
Note” at the end of each poem to merge the beauty of language
with simplicity of meaning derived from prose. I also added
references for those who are unaware of mythology or unread
in literature.
I have tried to include all the major issues but there always
remains a scope for something new. There are issues that the
fraction of progressive lot will consider obsolete but the
statistics tell that for majority of population it is still relevant.
So if you can’t relate with them do feel blessed and empathise
with those who are not. As Nelson Mandela said:
“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains,
but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom
of others”
This book aims to bring all together leaving aside their
personal motives to stand for a cause of social change. It does
not advocate replacement of patriarchy by matriarchy but calls
for EQUALITY.
Nishtha Mishra
11
 My Father
Father,,
an Inspirational Patriarch
My f irst educator, my father taught me to:
Never settle for the second best-
“Even in a similarly clad crowd,
you are different from the rest.”

From every single stroke of my sketch

to the words I pen down;
from every single word of wit
that I use to win an argument in the town!

He is the unconscious example

whose steps I follow.
He is the inspiration that prevents me from
becoming a person, shallow.

Starting penniless,
into a learned doctor, he grew.
Whether on professional or personal front,
he never left a due.

He was the one who settled for a less promising job

on family’s f irst call.
He was the one, who held the professional ladder for
my mother,
So that she can ascend without fall.

12 13
Making sacrif ices and compromises, He passed away,
he was an ever-supporting spouse. crippling us in all forms.
He was always the cook behind All fell apart,
the delicious aroma coming from our house. as there was no norm.

Not only the bread-earner, He was truly,

he also baked one. the family’s head.
Lending a personal touch to everything, His leaving left us,
he leaves nothing undone. half-dead.

He was my f irst best friend
who gave me the courage to voice out my thoughts.
Because of him I refrained from lies
and spared myself from being a part of some plot.

He wasn’t someone
who just helped making me;
But who stayed throughout my development,
nurturing me!

He was the loving string

that kept the pearls of family together.
Always organised and particular,
my father was our actual home-maker.

Always carrying the mountain with strength,

he kept us safe from the rain.
Showing us only the sunshine,
he was the blood, running the family’s vein!

14 15
Mechanisms of
Patriarchy Exposed
In the court of the Holy Trinity of Indian Patriarchy,
occupies the throne, the husband most high.
Backed is his crown by the father,
whom no one questions, eye to eye.
And then sits the son,
under the shadow of the crown;
Keen and observant; recording every custom
to reiterate, when he will wear the king’s gown.
And there in the middle stands the accused woman,
with no defences to her side.
Chained in her own bangles and anklets,
she hears the verdict with her swallowed pride.
Her birth will never be
an occasion of joy and mirth.
No matter how hard she tries to excel,
we will never recognize her true worth.
A burden to her dowry drained parents,
to their wishes, she ought to have bowed:
“Once sent clad in a bridal dress,
she must return wrapped in a shroud.”
16
She would be wedded for a body,
that has to be kept chaste,
even when her husband,
has a character disgraced.
Child bearing and rearing,
household and love;
Fasting for her husband’s seven lifetimes,
worshipping him once is not enough.
Fasting for the missing chromosome
will purge her body and bear her a son.
She should starve for him on auspicious days
for indeed he is the prized possession.
She will be refrained from reading,
the texts that breed reform.
We will emphasize on instances demanding
silence and submissiveness as a norm.
She would have to follow the rules
with unquestioning compliance.
Equality wouldn’t replace patriarchy here,
because women lack both resistance and alliance.
She will ensure the passage
of patriarchal norms as a source latent.
Women standing against women
will def initely serve as our agent.
17
Trying to fulf il her darling deities’ desire, Freedom Denied, Girl Child
She will spend a lifetime in bother;
Her crime being that- A tear from womb;
She is not a man, but the “other”. As blood, she was shed.
 If managed to survive,
she was underfed.

Toddler phase,
she had not seen.
Shackled by all, she was made
to stand on her knee.

Clad in a frock,
she was told a fairytale.
The princess, there,
was rescued by a male.

Her big brown eyes

And wavy soft curls
were drowned under a veil
decorated by pearls.

She could have jumped; she could have smiled.

She would have laughed at the top of her voice.
But you took her decisions
without asking her choice.

She is wild as a wind,

untamed as a tide.
Don’t put her in chains,
she is your girl child.
18
 19
Menstruation Tabooed
Tabooed
For years since my birth,
you sat on your knee,
praying to me to grant
a wish to thee.
But with the coming of my menarche
the Goddess vacates me and I am dark?
Three days since then
starting approximately every new moon,
I am socially isolated and conf ined,
cornered to the ‘dakkhini’ room.
The pickle if I touch, will convert into pine?
I have to bathe myself pure, before I could again touch
the shrine.
Energies: positive and negative
we give out and absorb!
Magic, witchcraft and sorcery
You conf ine us, to dissolve?
Stop building those forts!
Do you fear us being the powerful lot?
Punishment for Eve’s crime
or as the carrier of Indra’s sin:
It’s the menstrual blood where
the seeds of future have been!
How can you call it impure,
when you were carried in it for sure!
20
Yes we do bleed!
Because we can breed!
For our bodies health, the unfertilized egg,
we cannot keep.
Bleeding for your future, you consider our crime.
If nature will spare us the pain, your species will end
in no time.
I feel it’s a blessing;
But you call it a curse.
You say because of it,
I am not allowed to sing my verse.
How could my entering the temple, to Gods be
detrimental?
Why my entering the temple, makes the priests fumble?
It’s nothing to be ashamed of!
It’s nothing to hide!
We bleed so that we could give you
children who will stand by your side.
If you still judge my periods as something wrong,
the stone age is the place, where you belong!
We bear more than enough period pain
that we don’t want any more coercion.
All we really need to be spared from
is unnecessary exertion.
So when I am menstruating, I am not impure.
When I am having those cramps, you ought to help
me with their cure.

21
Appearance Valued
Valued
The colours of the setting sun gave
her dusky face a glow of gold.
Her warm and compassionate nature,
a pale body was too cold to hold.
She had an average height;
She wasn’t very tall.
But she held her head high
when others were ready to fall.
She had pink chubby cheeks;
She was all health and not in pain.
She tasted and held all f lavours of life
that a slim body couldn’t contain.
She presented a skinny f igure;
She was compared to a latch.
But she had agility
that the most proud cat couldn’t match.
She wore glasses;
She looked like a geek.
She had a pair of braces on
to adjust symmetrically her teeth.
She had cut her hair short;
She dressed as a boy;
But she had a sharp wit
that you can’t deny.
22
She had her face marred
with marks of her struggle.
Those scars held beauty
of the strength and spirit of survival.
She didn’t have a limp,
she tap-danced to the music of life.
She knew the magic of feeling with touch,
she wasn’t a sight deprive.
You called her coloured;
She was either too thin or too stout!
She was short or scarred,
but what made you so proud?
Who are you to judge her looks
who as ugly urchin herself is mistook!
Who are you to judge her looks,
Whose own identity relies on your wife’s look!
Who are you to judge her looks
who stand in the society with its foundations shook!
Who are you to judge her looks
who being blinded is bound to overlook:
She is unique; she is different;
She is the accomplisher of her own quest.
Her beauty is not in being the best;
But it lies in being not like the rest!

23
Rape Justified
I She was clad in a dress
Ten years of imprisonment,
a petty sum for f ine!
Death sentence in some “special cases”,
rest are all treated same in a line.
Proofs and witnesses bought with coins that shine.
The victim girl remains with none
who will call her: “mine”.
You called it justice!
and considered it right.
But what about the crime of denial of rights?
How could that rape be justif ied?
II
In the court of law, she is pried
with the questions of her trauma, out loud.
Once she was raped in seclusion,
now endlessly robe-robbed in crowd.
Her match now will never be found;
although her criminal will wear the groom’s gown.
Disrobed for eternity, she should wear the shroud.
“Boys are innocent and naive.
Because they are mistaken, we cannot cut off their life.”
Her right to be honoured was denied.
Yet was that rape justif ied!
24
III
that flaunted her curves.
It wasn’t your upbringing’s fault,
it gave a boost to your nerves.
You raped her because it eased out your nerves.
It was her fault, she couldn’t hide
her nature bestowed curves.
“This fault of hers invited the rapist to her side.
Her rape for dressing according to the vogue, serves
her right”.
The right to feel beautiful, conf ident and comfortable
denied.
And yet was that rape justif ied!
IV
Intelligent and conf ident is what she was.
Her skills made her on the professional ladder to rise.
Her continuing progress thus became
the cataract of your eyes.
You raped her to prevent her dreams f rom being
actualized.
The only way you could bring her down
went up through her thighs.
25
“In a man’s world, she dared to stride.
Being the weaker sex, how could she put up the f ight”?
Her right to progress was denied.
Yet was that rape justif ied!
V Had she been wedded away, she would have escaped
She was a soft, little cherub; delicate as a bud.
Her tiny pair of hands, hardly two springs old
lie squashed on the ground drowned in her own blood.
You raped her because your sick mind was beyond any
hold.
She had no curves, she was controlled.
She couldn’t even understand what was told.
She wasn’t capable of producing any urge that you
couldn’t withhold.
“Don’t cry over her, its better she died.
A girl-born is always a stake to family’s pride”.
Her right to live was denied.
Yet was that rape justif ied!
VI
She was beauty; she was brains.
Her voice was sweet and disposition the same.
She was the product of her parents’ pain.
She was every man’s marital aim.
26
But she was the one beyond your claim.
You raped her to possess her
by subjecting her to public defame.
“Waiting for the right one, led to her being victimised.
the plight.”
Her right to belong to herself was denied.
Yet was that rape justif ied!
VII
“You should call the rapist your kin
to prevent his organ from going in.”
But what should be done when the kin’s
well known hands have committed the sin.
Her rapist stood in brother’s, cousin’s, uncle’s or father’s
skin.
Tired or angry, she couldn’t refrain
her husband’s advances, for they are meant to be given in.
“Family is an institution, sanctif ied.
Don’t blacken the family’s name that is bright.”
Right to trust and object, both are being denied.
And yet is that rape justif ied.
27
VIII “A good girl knows to be with the light.
Only a slut sneaks out in the night.”
Independent ways and free will; beauty and life
Her right over her body was denied.
with lots of skill, Youth did her bestow.
Yet was that rape justif ied!
Soaring in its fragrant flight,
she was being coloured in her beloved’s hue.
X
But you thought if she can take one, she could take
another few. Shock stilled eyes with all dreams drained.
To you she was no more than a whore; Doctors used anesthizers but all in vain.
her fault being that, she was that night with her beau. Her lips quivered but she couldn’t explain.
She had scars far more than just inhumane.
“She had a relationship with a boy, thus she was already
impurif ied. Constant bleeding body; continuous writhing in pain;
If my daughter did so, I would have strangled her tight.” She got nightmares from her real life
Though the right to sexual freedom was denied, that were driving her insane.
yet was that rape justif ied!
You too had wept; you too have cried;
Had your own sister or daughter in their place had lied.
IX
All their human rights were being denied.
You could not have called it: “justif ied”.
A mutilated body was found on the street’s side:

a sight which even hungry hounds disliked.
Gang rape done to her was identif ied.
Her crime was being alone at night.

Assaulted by two while she cried;

Another two preyed when her body stopped to try;
And as she bled her last, she was stormed by another
Hyde.

28 29
Marriage Advertised
A fair and Beautiful bride desired.
(capable of lighting the kitchen’s f ire.)
Convent educated with a disposition benign.
(who could breed sons in a line.)
Decorating herself with family’s ornamental pride.
(No matter who’s wrong, she will be tried.)
Precious and valuable like a sapphire.
(with a purity to withstand the burning pyre.)
A girl who will make the Fortune in favour, turn.
(with skills and qualif ication that will help her earn.)
Her in-laws will not let tears glisten her eye.
(Bruises of childhood will now become scars on thigh.)
“Laxmi of the house”: wealth personif ied, she is.
(Yet no wealth is as easy to part, as this.)
Her purpose in life, since birth is told:
(to breed for a family she hardly know.)
“The princess will now become the queen.”
(Her reign however is nowhere to be seen.)
Her nuptial makes all happily grieven.
(Darling Daughter with dowry is driven.)

30
That Sex unwanted!
Born in this world with cries
and welcomed further with mourning,
she watched her family spreading sweets
at each stage of her brother’s upbringing.
All privileges and facilities provided
to him for education and sports.
If she at all is allowed to pursue her interests
she has to accompany them with household.
Her brother’s career strengthens
the family’s monetary might.
But if she works, it’s a shame
taken as a symbol of family’s plight.
Her husband is treated as the king
in her very own house.
In all rituals and poojas,
she is the inferior spouse.
She tends to your sick and dying self;
She prepares the meal you survive on;
She makes your house worth living;
From her your children are born!
31
Why then, is her destiny drowned Domestic Violence redefined
either in milk or tears?
Why is she so unwanted, I
far more than King Lear?
A three year old daughter full of zeal
All her work, all her sacrif ices throughout your life went to her father with an appeal.
Out valued by that one funeral rite that a son does after She just wanted him to reveal,
you die. how beautifully she had painted the sun riding on wheels!
Whether it actually does go that way as is told in
scriptures, She had expected him to raise her in his lap
no one living could testify. but instead she got a tight slap,
 for disturbing her job frustrated father’s nap!

Her f irst lesson of silence then she learnt;

All the enthusiasm in her got burnt.
“You hit those whom you love”, you justif ied your
violence by saying so.
Bearing violence is something all approve of, you
imprinted upon her soul.

II

Another five year old daughter rushed to her mother’s side.

She and her brother had a f ight.
He pushed her hard against the concrete roadside
while all she did was gave him a blow, light.

32 33
She had expected her mother to nurse the bruise on
her knee
instead she got to see, her mother checking her brother
for wounds while she
scolded her for letting her hands free.
The second lesson of not to complain and bear the
pain, she learnt.
No matter how much she is hurt no one will feel
concerned.
You justif ied your actions saying “It’s a sibling f ight”.
However, you also knew you didn’t do the right.
III
A f ight on street or when the boys friendlily meet,
With abuses to their mothers’ and sisters’ name they greet.
The ladies on hearing these do in their rooms retreat;
How can by abusing the ladies of opponent’s family,
one can win the feat?
They had expected some respect for being the
nurturing mother or loving sister;
Instead they found their names used as abuses, without
doing anything to bother.
And then to provide amusing variety to these abuses,
you also added “daughter”.
34
The lesson they learnt was that they hardly deserve
any respect.
Even when they are abused there is none to whom
they could protest.
You had no justif ication for this abuse.
All you could say is that they were from your fore-
fathers’ time in use.
IV
Under the homely shelter of a Peepal tree,
sat a Khap Panchayat to hear the lover’s plea.
The decision to be made was how to set them free
because Egeus could never be made to agree.
They had expected that their parents loved them right,
who will save them f rom being slaughtered for
community’s false pride.
But instead they were torn to pieces by the majority’s
might.
In this world, love is the eternal crime,
punishment for which remains, being cut short of life
at its prime.
If the whole species descended only from Satrupa and
Manu,
there can be any family or individual you aren’t related to?
35
V From the beginning she learnt her lessons wrong!
She was told being intimate was crucial to keep her
married life in shape.
But she was in a state that intimacy was a thing, she
couldn’t take.
He started playing with her nape;
when she said she was unwilling, then he raped.
She had expected an understanding spouse
but instead she was being beaten in the house.
He displaced on her the anger, others have aroused.
She was in her life made to learn:
“Whatever husband says is meant to be done.”
His violence is taken as his right;
Whenever he wants he can use might.
VI
Her pregnant self for want of dowry or son,
thrown down the stairs or in a f ire to burn.
Having learnt her lessons she knew she has none
to whom she can for safety run.
She had expected a loving household
which with guidance from her in-laws, she will mould.
But instead she was given the treatment that turned
her body cold.
36
If she had protested then, she could have lived long.
“It was an accident”, on being accused they said.
It wasn’t their fault that sent her wrapped on her death
bed.
VII
Used, abused, misused and disused: why always our
destiny be cursed?
After burns, bruise and blisters atleast, now we must
become bestirred!
React against the people who make the sanctity of
your body and soul disturbed.
It’s time that white f lag of peace must be furled.
We deserve what we expect-
from love to your respect.
Against all violence you inflicted on us, we now stand
in protest.
The f inal lesson now learnt-
not to bear and to confront!
We want no justif ication but the justice;
We aim to uproot these evils actually in practice.

37
Be alarmed for each look
undignified!
Stop looking at me
from the angles and dimensions of your eye!
Don’t think I couldn’t see
through your lies.
Stop looking at me, making
undermining ratings of my assets!
You are too poor a judge to assess,
the spectrum of my facets.
Stop looking at me as if I have
worn nothing, presenting a sight, quite obscene!
No matter how hard you try,
your eyes by no means can be an X-ray machine.
Stop looking at me as if I am
a spare piece of meat and you a hungry hound!
Stray dogs who try to cross the road
are often found crushed to the ground.
Every undignif ied look from you
is strictly shunned!
Playing with f ire will
Only leave you burnt.
Look at me as if I am
A temple! A Shrine!
Worthy of worship and reverence
as there rests the divine.


Stop looking behind me!

Don’t let your eyes search for my bust!
I am no object standing there
to satisfy your lust.

Stop looking at me threateningly

for I am not vulnerable.
Any lewd gestures directed towards me
are certainly intolerable.

38 39
How am I the Weak one?
Born bearing our mother’s contractions, just the same
as you,
We bear acute abdomen cramps every month;
We bleed constantly for days without crying,
and still I am the weaker one!
Nine months of craving;
Emotional restlessness every now and then;
Fatal, excruciating labour pains, we take;
And yet the stronger ones are men!
Opening our eyes with the f irst rays of Sun
and working tirelessly till next morn.
Preparing the meals and the worksheets right,
while you complain how in your morn to dusk job you
are torn!
You call me weak and tell me I need
to be defended by you and your following.
But I haven’t known a single man yet
who hadn’t writhed in pain when hit in the loin.
We both sigh in pain;
We both bleed when are cut;
We both bend alike
when the old age struck.
40
Don’t consider me weak
and for that don’t feel proud.
At times, we have rescued you
without your asking out loud.
The way back to life of her husband
Savitri’s strong will led.
Even Lord Shiva couldn’t
bring back his wife from dead.
When the combined powers of all Gods couldn’t won,
to Goddess Durga they had run.
Quickly changing her mild form into Ferocity,
she was the one who slayed the buffalo-demon.
Wealth and honour drained Pandavas
were freed by Draupadi’s urge.
It was her pledge that made her culprits
die at their most vulnerable verge.
Made of same material,
You are in no way any stronger.
Gone are the days, we consider ourselves weak,
we do not underestimate ourselves any longer.

41
Learn to respect the meaning
of my “NO”
If I choose a pursuit of study or career and you forbade
me to do so,
I will stand by my decision and tell you: “No”.
If your interests are in conflict with mine, I will let
you go.
So when I say “no”, remember, you left me with no
option but to say “No”.
If I am friendly and like to hang out with you
it does not mean I intend to take you as my beau.
I may want a relation, purely on friendly term,
so when I say “No” to your advances, remember my
decision is f irm!
If I confess my love to you,
it does not mean I intend to move in with you.
I may want to take my time,
so when I say “No”, remember, my decision for me is prime.
If I shake my hands with you
it does not mean you have the liberty to touch me
wherever you want to.
It was just a professional salutation,
so when I say “No”, remember, I am ready for further
confrontation.
42
If I refuse to be intimate
it surely not does tantrum indicate.
It’s my right to prefer myself over your want and make
you wait.
So when I say “No”, remember no coaxing or force can
agree me to mate.
If I decide to move out of marriage
It’s no means for my patience and love to gauge.
It means I know I deserve better,
so when I say “No”, remember, I am not coming back
in future!
What I don’t want to do,
by no means I will be forced to do.
So when I choose to say “No”,
Don’t take it to be a blow to your ego!
When I say “No”, it’s not meant to be an insult;
I am neither naive nor confused but an adult.
Answering your proposal in negative shows my choice.
Don’t take it as a “Yes” unless you hear the word in my
voice.

43
What’s wr
What’s ong in being Feminine?
wrong
I saw you applauding her
for showing qualities masculine.
But he was snubbed for making sobs
As it is a habit feminine.
Being feminine is not a taboo!
So stop treating it as one.
If you start classifying qualities,
she will have her sides won.
You despised Eve for bringing
the sin upon mankind.
But the only thing she did is
sharing the sweetness of the fruit she just f ind.
It was Adam who chose “charm”
over his better discretion.
Eve only had the will to explore
where Adam lacked motivation.
Thus, the spirit of adventure that led to discoveries;
The risk of exploring possibilities to innovate;
Does not come from your fathers
but is inherently a “feminine trait”.
Having eaten the fruit f irst
Eve got the knowledge before!
Mother of Vedas, Saraswati-
the deity of wisdom and knowledge for sure.
44
Knowledge thus is initially
embedded in female psyche.
Unravelling the secret mysteries
is again a feminine quality.
Durga, Menhit, Andarta and Athena signify
valour and warfare in their pictures and sculptures.
There is a reason why war deities are
Goddesses in every culture.
You scolded him for wearing pink
and called it feminine;
Now tell me how you can escape effeminacy
when it is fused with everything genuine?
Femininity encompasses all qualities
from meek modesty to ferocious valour;
Fused in masculinity should be
the traits of compassion and manner.
Presence of anima and animus
testify composite human fate.
Totality that lies beyond duality
Ardhanareshwar f igure state.
Virtue is a garden
full of flowers of different colours;
which from the spectrum of light
absorbs one and ref lect back others.
45
Savitri’s unparalleled determination
brought back her husband’s soul.
Here contrary to the common belief
she took the saviour’s role.
So individual choices and not the stereotypical ones
must work when the gender roles, we decide.
Lioness hunts and is the meat earner
while the lion just protects the pride.
 let me try them once, for may be
46
Parenting Reformed
Mother, do teach me and my brother
to respect the dignity of other gender.
Do tell him we do not live
a borrower’s life and he that of a lender.
Father, when you check whether
my brother’s feet f it in your shoes,
I am the one on whom they are not loose.
Mother, do tell us that the rakhi
I tie on my brother’s wrist is a promise, mutual.
Sometimes he and sometimes I,
would play in other’s life a role crucial.
Father, do make me and my brother
compete for the resources and privileges you provide.
Do let the deserving one win regardless of
societal sanctions and gender roles to abide.
Mother, do tell me what are the limits;
But do teach your son not to cross his!
Father, do make the rules for the time of staying out;
But also make your son, follow this!
47
Mother, do teach me Mother-in-law, do teach me the marital value
how to dress like a lady; of each of the ornaments I wear.
But also restraint your son from moving around Father-in-law, do show your son his marriage ring
with a bare chest as he is no longer a baby. and tell that sanctity of marriage is not meant to tear.

Father, do stand by me when someone Dear parents-in-law, do tell me

has with me been rude.
But do admonish your son’s lewd behaviour
and tell him it won’t make him a dude!
Mother, do tell me how to protect
myself from becoming pregnant.
But do make your son, if violates other girl’s body,
take the responsibility of being a parent.
Father, do tell me what attire
is expected of me.
But don’t sit there abusing girls for their dresses
while you watch them enthusiastically on TV.
what is expected from me as your son’s bride.
But prior to this, teach him that the car of marriage
needs the wheels to be equal and together for a safe
and smooth ride.
Dear parents it’s your decision to treat us
equally or to stoop to obsolete norms.
It’s up to you to make your children responsible and
happy for future
by subjecting traditional parenting to reform.


Mother, do teach me how to cook.

But don’t spare your son from this skill.
Father, take me out with you
and show me how to pay the bills.

Mother, do teach me the skills

to be a home maker.
But don’t bear the domestic abuses to show me
how to prevent being a home breaker.

48 49
Self Empowered People will judge anything you wear
and present a twisted tale.
I They have judged women for
the length of their veil.
Do pursue your own interests;
III
May it take you to an off ice or your place of rest!
Do venture in forbidden f ields; Do make and follow your own sexual mores;
Show them you can increase the productive yield. In this world, there is a lot of possibility to explore.
Exploring and experience will help you make choices, clear:
Make yourself the queen of domestic sphere;
to remain single, date more or settle down with a dear.
Boss an off ice with male majority;
Take the remuneration even for the household; Making love to the ones you love
Never let your work and efforts gone for charity. should be your own personal decision.
It must not be guided by
People will judge you
fear of judgement or societal sanction.
For whatever you achieve.
They have judged women
People will judge you
for taking the maternity leave.
for your sexual life anyway.
They have judged a rape victim far worse
II
although she had in that situation neither choice nor sway.
Do wear whatever you want;
Do wear whatever others think you can’t; IV
Do wear what you are comfortable in;
Do voice out what you think
Dressing according to vogue is not a sin.
if you do not want into oblivion, to shrink.
A saree has exposed midrib; Put yourself before your signif icant other;
A short skirt exposes thigh; Your inaction and silence will leave none for you to bother.
A gown may be bare shouldered
but they are all worth a try.

50 51
Do make friends with boys,
they will teach you what is alliance.
Choose your choice and take your stand
instead of looking for reliance.
Don’t worry about people who judge
your character as unworthy to admire.
An only daughter had been adversely judged for
showing strength
and not crying while performing the rituals of her
father’s funeral f ire.
V
Don’t pay heed to the opinions of people who
themselves are unsure.
Into making wrong Governments, they are often lured.
Take the chances; follow the choices; do not feel forced!
Pages of history sing names of those who had their
limits crossed.
VI
Stop compromising your choices for the judgement of
other people;
It will lead you nowhere and make you a cripple.
Stop fearing being an outcast;
It’s your own opinion that matters till last!
The tree with its roots strong
withstands and defeats the revolt of wind.
The empowerment that we talk about
comes out from within.
The judgement and verdict of others
are hardly ever true.
Your choices are what
actually empowers you.


Occupying the fraction of seats reserved

is no representation of our power.
Changing societal concepts and seeking independence
from the opinion of others is the need of the hour.

When had the opinion of others

done good to those who enquire?
People didn’t spare Sita of their judgements
who proved her chastity on the burning pyre.

52 53
Existence Ceased
In the coming of the new world,
tired of her least fortunate fate,
Women decide to cease life
and terminate human existence at any rate.
You threatened her with her own extinction;
You begged her before its too late.
But she knew, it had always been a man’s world
and never a female state.
Nurturing the foetus with her bones and blood,
its health and life becomes her only aim.
But after undergoing the excruciating labour pain,
her baby gets the father’s name.
All her life, she was told:
“Motherhood places her next to God.”
Never worshipped yet always sought;
fulf illing all demands against all odds.
She was the one bestowed with
the power to give birth to a child.
But your envious norms turned her blessing
into a sin before she becomes a bride.
No offence was charged in the name
of the person who fathered the child.
But she was left to her own resources
for being victimised or lied.
54
Over her body and her child
she owes no claim.
If she carries a girl within herself
she is sure to receive the blame.
Mercilessly her connection with
her daughter is torn apart.
Broken, she secretly wishes,
never to mother again, at heart.
Working tirelessly from dawn to dawn;
Satisfying every wish of yours before you could
demand;
And yet she is the one always blamed;
making a place for your displaced anger to land.
Such state of affairs will ultimately
reduce their number to nil.
If this day has to come
they decide to have the gap f ill.
She clamped her tubes;
She refused to mate;
Declining her dependence on you in any form,
she gave up the need to be straight.
With all your science, you can make
a stored egg and sperm fertilize;
But you can’t create a gestate
where the foetus can materialize.
55
You wanted to chain her in motherhood
to exercise your power on her.
She broke your institution of patriarchy
by refraining from making you the father.
Her womb that had been
the place of birth,
Now refused to carry, making the tomb of species,
below the shifting sheath of Earth.
Against the centuries of oppression,
she now retaliate;
And showed that it is a woman’s wish
that decides the man’s fate!
 lust for power gradually becomes detrimental to the benefits
56
Author’s Notes
My Father, an Inspirational Patriarch
A patriarch is the head of family, a true inspiration to all his
children. He sets examples to be followed after him. He is
like the roots of a strong fruitful tree whose branches flourish
because of the strength and nutrition provided by it. Sadly
enough, the true meaning of the word is replaced by a dictator
like figure who forces people to have things his way. Whose
of all those he proclaim to support. Thus the need is to have
this word reclaim its original meaning. And the nearest
example that I found suitable for this purpose is my father.
And as one reads the poem, he will really appear to be a role
model as far as the actual role of a patriarch is concerned.
References
1. In the 11th stanza, in the lines, “Always....... rain”, there is
a metaphorical allusion to Krishna leela. Krishna, the
incarnation of Lord Vishnu lifted the Goverdhan hill on his
little finger to provide shelter to his village folks against
the continuous rains and floods caused by an angered Indra,
the king of gods who reside in heaven.
57
Mechanisms of Patriarchy Exposed
In this poem, in the form of patriarchal verdict the condition
of women in our society is shown and the reason why the age
old norms still continue to exist has been evaluated. Women
are from the beginning made to believe guilty for anything
and everything. Thus to remove her sense of guilt she had to
undergo the purgation process of these atrocities. The major
role in the transference of this folly of undermining customs
is played by women themselves who without understanding
the true relevance of these, teach their daughters and daughter
in laws to continue the tradition. The religion in the name of
which all these customs are followed actually do not preach
that women alone should be the follower of these customs.
But very cleverly the sections of Vedas, Puranas, Upanishads
and other holy scriptures that bestow equality with their male
counterparts in terms of privileges and power to women are
either hidden from the readership of women or remain
undermined. Instead stress has been placed on those tales where
the role of women has been wrongly interpreted as subservient
and subordinate. Also, out of jealousy sometimes women prove
to be the greatest hurdle in the path of other progressive
women. Men actually can’t exercise power over women unless
they allow them to do so. The need thus for every woman is
to re-evaluate her condition and the reasons behind it with an
open eye by untying the blindfold the patriarchal mechanisms
have tied.
References
th
1. In the 7 stanza, in the lines, “Fasting...... enough” the
fasts being referred to are that of Karwachauth and Teej. It
58
is believed that on keeping fasts on these days the women
will not only secure a long and healthy lifetime for their
husband but will also get the same husband if ever
reincarnated. But no such fast is done for a wife.
2. In the 8th Stanza, in the lines, “Fasting..... possession”, the
fasts mentioned here are those kept while listening to
Haribansh Purana and on Putrada Ekadashi etc which are
considered to be miraculous for son bearing. Also to ensure
a long life for their sons, mothers keep the fast of Chhat
and the like. But no such fast is done for a girl.
Freedom Denied, Girl Child
A tear from womb;
As blood, she was shed.
This poem is about the struggle in the life of a girl-born. Ever
since that cradle-figure of a baby girl begins to take shape, her
quest for survival begins. The cells in her body aren’t sure of
the extent they could multiply because at any time a pair of
surgical scissors can cut of their union with life (womb) forever.
The few drops of blood that were helping her breathe through
the process of her creation leaves the crying womb without
any mercy for it knows the hands that are tearing her tissues
off are obeying the desire of her parents who created her but
hated the fact of having to accept her. She, the product of
their love, is not destined to be the object of their love.
As if physical crimes were not enough, every girl child is
a victim of psychological crime done to her while teaching
her gender roles. They are told to accept the subordinate
59
position, next to boys. She is never taught to stand on her
feet but her knees. Walking and standing on knees when one
is fully capable of running with feet is crippling physically as
well as psychologically. And this is what a girl-born is subjected
to. Her wings are clipped before she could explore her
horizons. She has to limit the expansions of her goals and
dreams to certain fields. She is warned not to penetrate a man’s
world. Even the fairytales told to her tell her that a girl is
meant to be a “damsel in distress” and her rescuer will be a
boy who is as human as her yet powerful then her. She is
conditioned into surrendering to men even through these
stories. Her freedom to feel her beauty, her wish to celebrate
her uniqueness, her desire to be happy is often subjugated.
She has to be bashful for shyness and modesty are her
ornaments. The basic right denied to her since time
immemorial thus is that of CHOICE.
Menstruation Tabooed
No other issue can portray the hypocrisy and undermining
mechanisms of patriarchy than menstruation. When we get a
bruise and we bleed, we seek nursing. That blood is our essential
body fluid. The same blood if oozing out of a women’s vagina
is impure! It’s a matter of shame! She can run to the school
nurse for a bandage to cure a scratch but she has to be ashamed
of asking for a tampon when she is having her periods. How
scientific and logical is this?
The time when discoveries were still to be made, humans
feared even waves and winds. At such a time, they created a
lot of myths and considered a menstruating woman a taboo
60
because they were at a lack of reason. The sense of mystery
made them associate menstruation with all kinds of fearful
things like the cycle of the moon. Since moon is a part of
night when dark spirits have their reign, a menstruating woman
might be evil and impure. Then when advancement had its
advent, as an attempt to subordinate women’s status, mythical
tales about the mystery of menstruation were created, in which
the menstruation that is actually a sign that a woman is ready
for reproduction was told as a punishment for sin. As I told
earlier it’s one of the mechanisms of patriarchy to make
women subservient to them by making them feel guilty.
The menstruation taboos that Asian cultures still hold
are about pickles, women having extra terrestrial powers that
may even be harmful for the dignity of gods and the like.
And to be spared from being coming in contact with these
energies women are confined to the extreme dark of the corners
of the house.
So now here by mentioning the actual scientific reasons,
I hope I have de-mysterified the mystery. Having known the
scientific facts, I further testify that none of the taboos are
actually valid because I have tried myself against all of them
with none of the pre-told consequences. So from now ladies
and gentlemen make it clear that menstruation is as natural a
process as excretion and breathing and not something evil. I
am still worship worthy at Durga poojas when I menstruate,
I can touch the pickles, worship and play music when I
menstruate.
References
1. In the 1st stanza, in the lines, “For.......dark?” the custom
of worshipping little girls as an embodiment of Goddess
61
 Durga is referred to.
nd
2. In the 2 stanza, in the lines, “Three......shrine”, the
relation of menstrual cycle with moon cycle is shown which
happens approximately around new moon though it may
vary for different individuals. The myth that if a
menstruating woman touches the pickle it will become
rotten is one of the popular ones, still in practice. Also the
custom of bathing oneself before being considered pure
enough is mentioned. ‘Dakkhini’ room is a room in the
southern most corner of the house.
3. In the 3rd stanza, in the lines, “Energies......lot?” the belief
prevalent in many Indian and Asian cultures that a
menstruating woman gains evil powers which she utilises
in performing the witchcraft on these days is told. Thus,
they think she must be kept confined. Another belief is
that women become like a large vessel extracting energy
from all the sources. At such a time their energies may
clash with those radiating from the temples and God’s idols
and may cause damage.
4. In the 4 th stanza, the lines, “Punishment.....sin” refer to
the Biblical story of the curse given to Eve for bringing the
sin upon mankind. In Hinduism, there is a description in
Puranas about Indra’s Brahmahatya when he killed the
Brahmin demon Vritra. Part of this sin is believed to be
carried by women which becomes active during
menstruation.
5. In the 6 th stanza, the line, “I.....verse”, the tradition of
considering all art and music as pious and thus a
menstruating woman are not allowed to indulge in them is
mentioned.
62
Appearance Valued
It is quite amusing to see that in a country where all stood up
in protest and sympathy when someone from our Nation was
racially abused, people never refrain themselves from
commenting on a girl’s colour. No matter what is their skin
colour, they will always make a girl feel ashamed of her dark
complexion.
All they want in a girl is a perfection of appearance. She
must not fall short on any of the criteria- colour, height, style,
voice, senses, walk, talk, nature, disposition etc. How deep
an impact of rejection done on the basis of appearance goes,
no one cares to understand. The situation is worse when a
differentially able girl subjected to the realisation of her
insufficiency which in reality is not true. Surprisingly these
great judges of appearance do not ever judge their appearances.
They themselves might not be presenting a perfect figure but
they want what they idealize. What they fail to realize is
everyone in this world is differently beautiful but at the same
time all are definitely beautiful. The line “who as ugly urchin
herself is mistook!” signify the pain one feels when judged for
appearance in the same way they do to others and at the same
time the word “mistook” signify that there is nothing ugly
but only differently beautiful. The moment all realize this,
half of the world’s grudges and disappointments will end.
But the reality is people continue to make others feel
inferior in looks which is the thing definitely in need to be
changed.
63
Rape Justified
Rape is not a single crime. It comes with multiple offshoots.
A rape may not be committed in gang for having a whole
houseful of culprits. One culprit is the rapist while the other
culprits are the numerous members of society who make the
mainstreaming of a rape victim impossible. While Indian Law
still doesn’t have a proper sentence for the crime of rape, it
leaves the numerous other culprits roaming in society who re-
rape a victim again by their words.
In this poem, some rape situations have been described
in the first stanza of each section. The second stanza covers
the reasons, the rapists shamelessly confess and the third stanza
includes quotations from the common patriarchal public that
captured the attention of news columns recently. The reason
for describing these situations is to make these people realise
what they have actually commented about.
People can spend their lives in the lap of sluts. They can
marry non-virgins without having any idea of it. But a rape
victim is forever doomed, unacceptable as a marriage material.
Even drug addicts, mental patients and criminals can be
mainstreamed and accepted, forgiven and given a chance at
life. But a rape victim who wasn’t at fault in the whole situation
can never be accepted.
We live in a society where we condemn the rape victim
and justify her rape and her rapist. Is it not a crime? Is it not a
violation of Human Rights? Until when will you let such
treatment to continue? The answer lies with you!
References
In the 2nd stanza of ninth segment, in the line, “And ......Hyde”,
64
Hyde refers to the alter ego of Dr. Jekyll in the novella The
Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde written by R.L.Stevenson.
By referring to Hyde, someone like him is implied.
Marriage Advertised
In our country, arranged marriages are still valued over love.
It is a symbol of a family’s upbringing and culture. How deeply
they are rooted to their grounds is judged by the kind of
marriage alliance their children choose to make. In this time
of online dating and matrimonial sites, the newspaper
advertisements have yet not lost their significance. Majority
of people till date, continue the match making process through
newspapers. In this poem, I have taken some common and
popular lines from the newspaper advertisements. However,
ironically the flattering lines of the advertisements might
actually mean what I have mentioned within the brackets.
References
1. In the 2nd stanza, the line, “(with.....pyre.)”, refers to the
story of Sita in the Ramayana who proved her chastity by
coming out alive, without being burnt from inside the
burning pyre.
2. In the 4th stanza, in the line, “Laxmi.....is”, an allusion to
the Goddess of wealth, Laxmi is given. A girl-born is
euphemistically referred to as Laxmi.
65
That Sex unwanted!
In a country where sex-ratio is always on decline, it’s not hard
to imagine how rare is the case where the birth of a girl is
actually celebrated. The initial reaction after the arrival of news
from the labour room is that of mourning. Even though the
educated and so-called progressive lot tend to accept their
daughter, the fact remains the same that she is unwanted.
Not mentioning those who never had the opportunity
to go to the school, despite the numerous beneficial
programmes government started to lure parents monetarily,
the language of common appreciation, no matter how well
she is performing in academic or sports, do have the following
words: “No matter how well she is excelling, ultimately she
only has to perform the household. Actually that is the proper
kind of education for a girl and proper assessment of her skills.”
Though the scenario has changed to a large extent today
but still if the women of the family have to work outside the
household it is looked down upon. In all the traditional family
rituals, the husband of their daughter could be given
importance but not the daughter alone as a daughter’s respect
is united with her husband’s. She being the multi-tasking one
performs the role of mother, cook, teacher, and nurse along
with her professional duties. In spite of all this, her worth
always remains subordinated to the sons of the house because
they are the one who might make their parents achieve
salvation.
Whatever she does for her family during their lifetime,
the things that their senses can perceive and feel are nothing in
comparison to what a son will do for them after they die,
when all senses, all feelings, all knowledge will cease. There
66
couldn’t be a more prominent proof of superstition blinding
the eye because this is believed even by those who claim to
fight against superstitions all their lives.
References
1. In the 6th stanza, the lines, “either.......Lear?” the reference
that has been made is to the fact that in many towns and
villages of India, a girl born is killed immediately after her
birth by drowning her in milk.
2. In the same stanza, Shakespeare’s tragedy King Lear has
been referred to. Ironically, King Lear forsakes his only
deserving child, Cordelia who actually loved him, in favour
of ungrateful Regan and Goneril. And after giving away all
that he had got they returned his favours by disowning
him.
3. In the 7 th Stanza, the lines, “Out.......die”, refer to the
funeral rites of Hindu mythology, according to which the
rituals performed only by the male members of the family
can lead to salvation after death even though there is no
proof for it.
Domestic Violence redefined
Whenever we hear the phrase “Domestic Violence”, we jump
to the conclusion that it has something to do with the person’s
in-laws. What we fail to recognise is that domestic violence
includes everything that comes within the purview of
domesticity. It is not limited to a particular gender and to the
in-laws household.
67
 The domestic violence starts when a member of the family
does violence against the other. This violence can be physical
as well as psychological.
The violence done to a girl may begin in her parent’s
house in the form of man-handling or the make-belief attitude
for bearing them. The parents are equally responsible for the
atrocious behaviour she bears in her in-laws house because
owing to our culture, this is what she is taught. Instead of
standing against any violation to her body and soul we force
her to submit and make her realize that she is the inferior sex.
The worst kind of violence that is passed on from
generations is that of abuses. Using a family relation as the
name of an abuse is potent enough to inflict in the female
mind that she is something dirty and meant to be abused. As
such the increasing trend of abusing nowadays as a friendly
gesture is the worst trend to pass on to coming generations.
The violence on a girl is not necessarily inflicted upon by
her spouse. Often her parents are the one who beat her black
and blue till her death for not doing as she is told to, may it
be a marriage alliance or any other sphere of life.
The decisions of Khap Panchayats are invariably to set
the lovers free from life for securing community or family’s
pride. Marital Rape is also a violence done to a woman. It’s
equally criminal as any other rape. Just because you are married,
your spouse does not have any right to force you without
your consent. It is clearly a violation of human rights and
right to freedom.
So there definitely is a need to stand against all these kinds
of violence and make provisions in the court of law for them
to be treated as equally punishable crimes.
68
References
1. In the 1 st stanza of fourth segment, in the lines,
“Under......agree”, Khap Panchayats are village governing
bodies that have a history of having passed the orders of
killing those who dared to have love and marriage against
community norms.
2. The name Egeus is a reference to the unloving and
authoritarian father in Shakespeare’s comedy A Midsummer
Night’s Dream, who wanted to avail the law that allowed
her daughter Hermia to be killed for refusing to marry the
man his father chose for her.
3. In the 3 rd stanza of the fourth segment, the line, “If....
Manu”, holds reference to Manu and Satrupa who according
to Hindu mythology are the first man and woman born
from whom all other humans have descended.
Be alarmed for each look undignified!
Let us play “one word for”. If I ask you what will you call a
woman who stands at the side of road passing seductive gestures
and remarks on complete strangers that pass by? Well yes! You
all are right. We call her a prostitute, a woman with dirty
character who had sex with numerous strangers for money.
Now let me ask you, what will you call a man who stands
at the side of road passing lewd gestures and remarks on
complete strangers that pass by? Did I hear pervert, debauched,
flirt, lusty etc? Now analyse how many of these words are as
undignified as prostitute. I think none. Can you see, the same
work if done by a woman is prostitution and if done by a
man is not!
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 Why is it so? It is because doing this is accepted as the
part of the process of a boy’s growing up. I have seen boys
making ratings about a girl’s each and every feature, learning
to whistle not because they can call a cab but just to make a
girl notice their remark. Sometimes under peer pressure,
sometimes after observing their elders which may even include
their fathers and sometimes out of curiosity, this cycle of
unacceptable behaviour passes on. And since at no stage they
receive a reaction, they consider this unacceptable behaviour
as accepted.
Who is at fault here? The boys or the girls who do not
make them realise the impropriety of their behaviour. If there
is any girl who claims that she has never faced a sexually
inappropriate behaviour may be it is some remark or gesture,
then there can’t be a greater lie.
The people who are moral at heart not just pass ignoring
a prostitute’s gestures, but they report it to the Police or take
some other appropriate action for her to be removed out of
their sight because they want their society clean. The same
needs to be done in this case. A person who passes lewd glances
at you is no dude but a male prostitute who must be removed
for the individual society’s benefit. And all must be done to
ensure this instead of ignoring and letting it pass to the next
generation.
How am I the Weak one?
The most commonly accepted and generalised belief is that a
woman belongs to the weaker sex. How? No one cares to
test. Even sadder is the situation when women tend to believe
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the same. So here I am with this poem that gives an answer to
all those who call us weak.
Pain and tears is no sign of weakness they are actually
what makes us more human than feminine. The male members
of the society who claim that they never cried, I want to
remind them, they came crying out loud in this very world.
In our culture, all the saviour roles of women in our
mythology are either undermined or veiled under the name
of Pativrat Dharma, which comes as a duty for being one’s
wife. But people forget that even the duties are executed only
when one choose to do so.
In this poem, I list down numerous examples of our
strength from contemporary as well as mythical world. I have
attempted to remove dust from those sections of our
mythology that prove at innumerable times it was a woman’s
strength that protected men. And thus, I urge women to stop
considering themselves the weaker gender and recognise their
true strength.
References
1. In the 7th stanza, the lines, “The......led” refer to the story
of Savitri who went alive to the underworld in order to
bring her dead husband’s soul from the God of Death, Yam
and succeeded in her enterprise.
2. The lines, “Even.....dead” are an allusion to the story of
Lord Shiva and his wife Sati. Sati burnt herself alive by her
Yog Shakti when her husband was insulted at her father’s
Yagya. Lord Shiva grieved and performed destructive Tandav
but still he couldn’t bring her back.
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3. In the 8 th stanza, the lines, “When......Demon” tell the
story of Goddess Durga who killed the demon Mahishasur
who had the head of a buffalo.
4. In the 9th stanza, the lines “Wealth.....verge” incident from
the Mahabharata is mentioned where enslaved Pandavas
were granted freedom on Draupadi’s request. She was
dishonoured in front of her husbands and the royal court
even when she had been married to five husbands who were
known for their unconquerable strength. Even after that
she requested for the freedom of her husbands so that they
could gain back their self respect by avenging her. It was
the sheer strength of her vow that is considered as the main
reason for the downfall of Kauravs.
Learn to respect the meaning of my “NO”.
“It is a fact universally acknowledged” that when a girl says
“no”, what she actually means to say is yes!” .If this is true
then I think you people seriously need to check your dictionary.
Even a dumb person who knows language cannot mistake
two words having exactly the opposite meanings as having
the same. So no matter how dumb you believe your female
counterparts to be, when they say “no”, they actually mean
“no” and in such a case if you believe the opposite, it will be
yourself who will be proved both deaf and dumb. If a girl
first says “no” and then “yes”, it does not mean that what first
time she meant was yes. It only means that she had a change
of opinion which is possible for you too.
A girl’s no or rejection is never meant to insult you. It is
just meant to tell what she does not want and as a human
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being she has every right to tell so. The need is to develop in
our boys an understanding for this concept of “no” so that
they can take rejection more positively. This poem is written
with the same purpose. It tells you to respect other people’s
choice and restraint yourself from entering their area of
forbiddance without any grudge.
What’s wrong in being Feminine?
Among the most common binary pairs that encompass
whatever exists is nature and nurture. Both of these aspects
are considered feminine. If the classifiers of qualities draw a
distinct line that tells what is definitely masculine and what is
definitely feminine, then the masculine area would end
without one. Because there isn’t a field females can’t venture,
there isn’t a thing females don’t dare to do for the fear of it
being considered masculine; there is hardly any area of male
dominance left where females haven’t made their presence felt.
They have walked among the stars and floated with the fishes;
they have conquered mountains and built the bridges. But on
the other hand our male counterparts wrinkle their nose for
anything, any field, any quality that they consider to be
feminine. This has thus limited the power of their horizons
while girls continue to expand theirs in practice. In spite of
this fact, if there are people who still pride themselves for
having masculine qualities, this poem is for you. Read and
conclude for yourself that the qualities you boast of as
masculine are actually of feminine origin. And for my female
community it’s yet another example showing what you cannot
do. And that is nothing! Since the beginning, it was you and
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even now it is you. People may not realize and recognize your
worth but you should do that definitely for yourself.
References
1. From stanzas 3 rd to 6 th , there is a retelling and new
interpretation of the same story of Adam and Eve and their
act of eating the fruit from the Forbidden Tree.
2. In the 4th stanza, the phrase, “chose “charm”” is a reference
taken from Milton’s Paradise Lost.
3. In stanza 6 th, Goddess Saraswati is being referred to, who
is the Goddess of Knowledge and Wisdom according to
Hindu Mythology.
4. In Stanza 8th , Durga, Menhit, Andarta and Athena are being
referred to. Durga is the Goddess of war according to Hindu
Mythology. Menhit is the Goddess of war according to
Egyptian mythology. Athena is Greek Goddess of wisdom,
warfare, strategy, heroic endeavour and reason while Andarta
is the Celtic Goddess associated with victory and
overpowering of enemies.
5. In stanza11th, Anima and animus are mentioned which are
one of the key concepts in Carl Jung’s theory of personality.
Anima is the female aspect of male psyche while animus is
the male part of female psyche. Thus, every human has
both feminine and masculine aspects.
6. Ardhanareshwar is one of the many forms of Lord Shiva. In
this form, he remains fused with his spouse Parvati in one
body. This figure promotes the equality of both the sexes
in all aspects. It also signify presence of feminine and
masculine aspects in one body.
7. In the 13th stanza, again the story of Savitri,described earlier
is being referred to.
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Parenting Reformed
Parenting is an unquestionable field as far as Indian Parents
are concerned. They find nothing more offensive than being
questioned about their child’s upbringing. Each pair of parents
considers their parenting style to be perfect. They feel that
they are not answerable to any other member of society about
parenting. What they fail to realize that even their daughters
should be answerable just to them and not the society. Thus,
with regard to a girl’s upbringing most of them fail largely as
a parent. The societal norms are always forced on girls but
what a boy does becomes new norms.
Why the permissions for night outs and parties should
be taken for girls and unquestionably granted to boys? The
reason given for not allowing girls is of safety and
responsibility. But where both these factors go with regard to
boys? A correct form of parenting would have tested the sense
of responsibility for both the kids and then have permitted
the responsible one may be it was their boy or girl. The same
pattern must be adapted for making any other decisions instead
of the age-old, outdated, and obsolete sentence –”You can’t
do it because you are a girl”.
As for safety, it also issues from home to society. If
someone makes your daughter pregnant, you are at your knees
doing almost anything to get the matter settled. But if your
son does the same, it is assumed that she is unworthy and
must be left to her own means. This will only make the affairs
continue as they are going. Instead if you teach your children
to take the responsibility of being the parent and share what
they have done, it will be a lot better. I am not advocating the
marriage between these two because the trust is the foundation
needed for any marriage and that would have already been
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broken. What I am suggesting is sharing the common
responsibility as the parents towards the baby they have
created. Your children do not need approval and support from
society. They need it from you. Whatever you will teach your
son at home, the same amount of security he would provide
to other girls from himself. Now people will say that no parent
ever teach a son to be misbehaved directly. But they do teach
him this, indirectly. What is he to learn is he watches his father
staring agape at the short dresses of girls on television and
when caught abuses them for vulgarity. What is he to learn
when he watches his mother being beaten up daily? What is
he to learn when you send him to supervise and watch his
elder sister’s actions?
As it is said “Charity begins at home” so does equality. If
the next generation wants equality of sexes as a reality, all have
to put in their own individual effort in a parenting providing
equal opportunities. And When I say all it means all. It must
be a collective effort on individual front. For as it is said one
spoiled apple spoils the other, likewise one spoilt peer can
spoil the mind of his teenager friends.
Self Empowered
This poem is for those females who sit at their homes waiting
for that Bill of Parliament which like the wave of a wand will
change the scenario in their favour. Let me tell you, it is never
going to happen unless you yourself learn to stand for yourself.
You don’t need to be empowered; you already are the source
of all power. Even those powers that are used against you are
powerless without your consent. All you need is to recognise
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your power. You are a river which if dammed without gates
causes flood and destruction all around. Such is your power!
Why you look for reliance? Why you seek approval? You are
as free by law as any other individual.
Your choice should govern your vocation, your dress, your
sexual life, your thoughts, your decisions and your mistakes.
Yes mistakes! If you fear those let me remind you even now
you cannot blame others for the mistakes that arise from the
decisions they took for you. So what’s the difference? The
difference is once you take the responsibility of your mistake
which is actually done by you, you will feel powerful in that
too. This is empowerment! When you need not rely on anyone
for anything! If you fear judgements by the people, let me tell
you once more as I did in the poem. They will judge even
when you are perfect. They are moulded from their childhood
to find flaws. Nothing you do will ever satisfy them. So at
least do what satisfies you.
Remember, none other than you can bring the
empowerment for yourself because empowerment is defined
differently for each of us. There are girls for whom the
empowerment means education. For the educated others
empowerment means vocation. For those who are working,
empowerment means freedom to rest and so on. No law can
encompass what we want but we ourselves can achieve what
we want. So work for it! We are the power, so fear fears us!
Your own choices guide your true empowerment. Remember
that!
References
1. In the last stanza of 1st segment the example of “Maternity
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 leave” is given because it is one of those things that strikes
a balance between a working woman and a mother and
unites together professional and domestic spheres.
2. In the 2nd stanza of 2 nd segment it has been pointed out
that even an Indian wear, Saree does exposes body parts
while a western wear like jeans exposes none.
3. In the last stanza of 5th segment, the lines, “People ......pyre”
again make an allusion to Sita. In the Ramayana, Sita was
again disowned by her husband Ram when people started
questioning her character even though she was the queen
and had her chastity proved.
to make sure the next generation of individuals that is created
is female dominant, at the mercy of a female. How this
imagination sounds like? I am leaving the question unanswered
to be thought upon.
If the true worth of women remains unrecognised and
they are not given the status of equality, this unforeseen
possibility of future is possible. Yes, we are capable of doing
that!

Existence Ceased
This is an apocalyptic poem showing the world’s end if
women refuse to breed. Yes, the real possibility of an
apocalypse do exist but not at the hands of genetically modified
zombies but the living women. As Lord Krishna also
mentioned in the Bhagvad Geeta, for a complete establishment
of new order, a complete destruction of old chaos is required.
The crimes and atrocities against women have taken a
monstrous shape and once a state of total disorder is reached,
women will be forced to unite in a revolution not to breed.
The advancement of science has reached a stage where a
stored sperm and egg can actually create foetus. But for foetus
to develop still a female uterus is needed. In this way no matter
how hard the male population try they couldn’t get to recreate
life without a woman’s consent. Once united the educated
female doctors might perform tubectomy and abortion just

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 End note
Having stated and proved my points in the light of all the
above discussion, I think EQUALITY is not a big price in the
bargain where the female community has been proven to be
powerful. I rest my case here and end the address to Indian
Patriarchy with the hope that my gender is soon going to
consider itself equal and will claim its equality by refusing to
remain the subordinate.
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About the Author
Nishtha Mishra is a D.Phil scholar at Department of English
and Modern European Languages, University Of Allahabad.
Her area of research is “Feminism in the plays of George
Bernard Shaw: Pygmalion, Candida, St.Joan and Mrs.Warren’s
Profession.” She has been the recipient of Prof S.G.Dunn Gold
Medal and Rai Bahadur R.N.Bhatia Gold Medal for being
the best academic performer in English Literature at
Graduation level. She was the second position holder in
Graduation at Faculty of Arts, University of Allahabad. She
has also been awarded University Gold Medal for Subject
Toppers at the Post-Graduation level and had received PG
Rank Holder Scholarship for University Toppers given by
UGC. Writing is her hobby and she is planning to pursue it as
her full-time profession. Her area of interest is social issues
with a psychological understanding of reasons responsible for
them.
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