Professional Documents
Culture Documents
But That Is Not All
But That Is Not All
VivianLea Doubt
December, 2008
2
Curiositá
the sign for ears, on the left, is balanced by calligraphy on the right
that denotes (from the top) eyes, undivided attention, and, as the
This is a beautiful visual metaphor of the concept that listening requires more of us than just our
ears. Active listening will engage us at a visceral level… here, it seems, is the starting point for
inquiry. In any event, it was a major discovery for me in my exploration of asking for feedback:
my attention to listening had to honour those I asked the questions of. The catalyst for this
exploration was Bolman and Deal discussing leadership, and the idea that many leaders never
receive genuine feedback about their leadership abilities (2003, p.6). To apply the curiosity of
constant inquiry is intimately linked with the ability to hear the response.
The questions I asked were based on Michael Gelb‘s ideas for exploring emotional
intelligence:
I spent a great deal of time pondering the questions – who I should ask, in what format, and how I
could facilitate answers that were not glib, or polite, or constrained. At some point I recognized
that simply beginning would show me the way to go, in other words, that any mistakes I made
would allow me to adjust as I went along. My first interview took place with a long-standing
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friend over a 2-hour lunch, and I immediately knew I would have to change my process. Each
time she articulated a point I would ask her a further question to clarify it; clearly this was more
of a conversation than a listening exercise. It was also apparent that there was more risk involved
for her than for me; my initial idea was that close friends or family would be more likely to be
honest. Perhaps this is still true; on the other hand, those who are less intimate may also have less
risk in articulating perceived weaknesses. Accordingly, I chose to interview 5 more people for a
The remainder of the interviews were much shorter, mostly because I talked much less.
When one interviewee said I was ‗brazen‘, I raised my eyebrow rather than asking a question:
this prompted her to laugh and then to articulate in detail her views about my directness. There
were some surprises in the interviews as well; one that stands out is being told I had great
strengths in marketing. The interviewee who told me this was a business person and clearly
meant this as a compliment; I recognized an inner recoil from the sordid idea of selling things.
(Whether this is a positive belief or a negative belief will depend on one‘s personal philosophy,
―Creativity begins in darkness and requires some sense of trust that this darkness will be
negotiated‖, says Cameron (quoted in TRU, 2008). I was able to recognize my tendency to
analyze and over-analyze and to simply begin the process, trusting an outcome. Adjustments to
the who, what, and how occurred along the way, and while I retained my sense of inquiry, I was
able both to simplify the questions and to decide that listening to the answers was the crucial
Dimostrazione
another connection, and just wants to keep going. So while this very
core material. Having wrestled with this for over a year in a painful and
unproductive way, I turned my attention to how I might shift this paradigm. Hence the idea to
I contacted an instructor of English at the local college, and she happily agreed to talk to
me over lunch. On the appointed day another instructor also came along and joined in the
discussion. While I made it very clear what I was doing and why, I also tried to speak generally
and not personally. I am acquainted with both of these women and find them enjoyable people,
but I wanted to explore concepts that could have been uncomfortable in a genuine teacher/student
relationship. Queries did get more probing towards the end, mostly because what was articulated
to that point seemed quite close to my own views. The desire to learn – an eagerness or interest –
was suggested as the foremost quality. Showing up was the second; both voiced a frustration with
students who didn‘t come to class and then experienced difficulty. This tied in with the idea of
diligence or rigour attached to the student‘s work in order to be judged excellent. Of course, I
could not refrain from putting forward the standard student complaint: It is understood that you
are searching for excellence, but what is that, exactly? Is it incumbent upon the teacher to define
that? The discussion certainly got interesting at that point. These instructors see their job as
mastered. So I asked should teaching students to think be the overriding goal? Both replied that
within the confines of their disciplines, that was correct. (It did occur to me at this stage that
interviewing the instructor of Open Thinking might have been very interesting.)
There is no question that I operate with some specific ‗lenses‘; my mother was a teacher
and my father a scholar, and I grew up with some inherited and fiercely articulated concepts
about learning. A mind map I created at the beginning of the course on the theme of ‗a university
This is a fairly clear picture of how my lenses colour my thoughts, not to mention the symbols
So was there a paradigm shift for me? I believe there was; much like the ‗shifting figures‘
explored in Module 3 of Open Thinking, I have learned to ‗see‘ two viewpoints. I can ‗suspend‘
my judgement about a viewpoint and simply hold within my mind to examine it. While I do not
totally agree with their expressed viewpoint, neither do I totally disagree with it – what is
important is that I can examine it. But I will come back to a further discussion of this, because it
Sesazione
But in this exercise I will pay no more attention to the definition, but simply play with the idea of
making synaesthetic minestrone. The catalyst here is not only play, but sight and sound and
smell and taste, and that indefinable idea of nourishment. What nourishes me?
This exercise began with a trip to the local farmers‘ market for onion, potatoes, and
carrots, to Brambles (the local store selling only food grown in BC) for chard, roma tomatoes,
celery, cabbage, zucchini, and fresh basil. The ritual of sharpening my rosewood-handled
Henckel was integral – lots of vegetables to chop! And a trip out to the garden yielded a few
sprigs of slightly browning, but still growing oregano. The crisp sound of the celery as I cut it
was a delight, as was the gorgeous red chard. The vegetable stock simmered while I chopped –
for over an hour! – and the smells began to come together. The gently bubbling soup filled every
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corner with a wonderful melange of earthy, tomatoey, cheesy odours that were rich enough to
visualize. The soup was a truly beautiful riot of colours. And just for fun, here‘s a link to a video
of the vegetable orchestra. Although they are not playing the minestrone song or dancing the
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpfYt7vRHuY&feature=related
From start to finish, this project took about 6 hours, an incredible luxury of time. Few of
us cook and eat this way any more, and that is truly a pity because the loss is staggering. The
deliberation of choosing the best and the freshest, of careful preparation, and happy anticipation,
of delighted nourishment for body and soul – the sights, smells, sounds, and tastes that contribute
to an integrated sensory experience are fading away, reserved mostly for special occasions. Of
course we still eat, and some of us still prepare meals, but the time to savour all these elements is
often lacking. Who will sing the minestrone song and dance the minestrone dance, now?
There are, of course, many ways for humans to nourish their senses. Still, food and drink
are essential to every body process and function, and so they are the very essence of life. Food
and drink are the centrepiece of every celebration and festival, every one of life‘s significant
occasions, the pivotal moments of family life. My exercise in making synaesthetic minestrone
was a deeply personal reminder of the necessity of cultivating the senses to help cultivate the
mind.
Arte/Scienza
Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
8
Oh, no.
The exploration of the idea of ‗my day off‘ in a mind map was initially thought of as a
way to capture the abstract idea of ‗fun‘ – what makes a day off different than a day at work, for
example? The choice of the Cat in the Hat as a central image was immediate; this is for me an
evocation of childhood, and the sense of freedom and spontaneity that childhood play evokes. It
can be difficult to maintain that sense as an adult; of course responsibilities get in the way but
other inhibitions intrude also. Work is very much play for me, never the less, a strict schedule is
defined by a bell, and the sense of ‗flow‘ – of losing track of time in an intensely pleasurable
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pursuit – is always interrupted. But the division of work and play is not a strictly defined
boundary in my life. That was the most interesting part of the exercise – the recognition that the
―basic ordering ideas‖ of the mind map – ‗think‘, ‗fun‘, ‗walk‘, ‗read‘, ‗cook‘ – are the
ingredients of everyday, not just days off (Buzan, T. & Buzan, B., 1993). This is where the
balance of work/life exists – a day that contains these essential elements is both a pleasurable and
I suppose I previously recognized that my enthusiasm for both work and play existed; this
is, however, a new understanding: that ‗work‘ or ‗play‘ is not defined by a location or a task. In
fact, ‗work‘ or ‗play‘ – as in the signifier – is largely defined by codes, ―views and attitudes about
how the social world is or ought to be‖ (Streeter, T., 2005). If there is any fortune I possess, this
is surely it: the ability to blend the ethos of both in daily life. Kenneth Clark says ―the history of
art cannot be properly understood without some reference to the history of science. In both we are
studying the symbols in which man affirms his mental scheme…‖ (quoted in Gelb, 2004, p. 166).
Sfumato
The final exploration I shall write about was neither planned, nor is it finished. But it is an
interesting example, perhaps, of various strengths and competencies in action… I shall leave this
to the reader to decide. A ‗classroom‘ course I am taking started with the participants each
completing an MBTI ® test and reviewing the evaluation. The class was then placed into groups,
some with varying types and two, of which mine was one, in which the participants were
similarly typed. (My type in this paper version of the test is ENFP. Interestingly, it remains ENFJ
in the web version, re-taken.) We were given a long-term goal: to produce a report and group
presentation on the case we have been assigned to be delivered December 18. The case requires
us to make strategic (business) decisions, but we must accomplish this by consensus of the group.
The immediate task is to prepare an initial brief presentation: 20 minutes is allotted to accomplish
this and again we are to achieve consensus. There are seven of us in the group.
Clearly, 20 minutes is a brief time to work out a consensus on strategic issues, but we
work amazingly quickly and very fluidly. Our discussion begins with ideas of excellence that we
are all committed to, tied in with Peter Senge‘s ideas of personal mastery and creative tension,
and moves into the area of complexity (Senge, P., 1990). It is an astounding discussion in its
breadth and depth, and though there seems to be disparities between viewpoints each participant
adjusts their position minutely in order to work towards consensus. We are the only group that
finishes within the assigned time period, the basic framework of our ‗research‘ and major
presentation mapped out. I think immediately of ―boids‖, the program created by Craig Reynolds
to explore the flocking behaviours of wild birds. Mitchell Waldrop summarizes the three simple
What was striking about these rules was that none of them said form a flock. Quite
the opposite: the rules were entirely local, referring only to what an individual
boid could see and do in its own vicinity. If a flock was going to form at all, it was
going to have to do so from the bottom up, as an emergent phenomenon. And yet
flocks did form, every time (quoted in Whyte, D., 1999, p. 269).
The imagery of boids is particularly apt here; to see them in action, go to:
http://www.red3d.com/cwr/boids/
This is a group of people acquainted for only a few days, working to achieve consensus
on a rather daunting task. Each individual considers another position and shifts, thus changing the
movement of the whole group. It is both deeply satisfying and exhilarating, and we all
rather than a reasoned way. So what precisely is happening here? There is a clear synergy of
intent, but further than that the willingness to hold ambiguity seems clearly present. In the
expression of one participant: there are dozens of ‗right‘ answers, equally as many ‗wrong‘
answers – the best way forward is to navigate this paradox by embracing it. The collective
decision will be a considered one; more importantly, it does not negate any one person‘s strongly
Connessione
more easily ‗called up‘. With ―boids‖, for example, I was made aware of the program in a book,
but went immediately to the internet to see if I could find the visual complement. So too, with the
labyrinth: the experience of ‗walking‘ the virtual labyrinth was surprisingly calming, satisfying,
and centring. I find myself seeking the visual more and more, whether through images, films, or
Is the Cat in the Hat image (see title page) a chaotic or complex figure? Wikipedia
When one analyses complex systems, sensitivity to initial conditions, for example,
is not an issue as important as within the chaos theory in which it prevails. As
stated by Colander, the study of complexity is the opposite of the study of chaos.
Complexity is about how a huge number of extremely complicated and dynamic
set of relationships can generate some simple behavioural patterns, whereas
chaotic behaviour, in the sense of deterministic chaos, is the result of a relatively
small number of non-linear interactions. Therefore, the main difference between
Chaotic systems and complex systems is their history. Chaotic systems don‘t rely
on their history as complex ones do. Chaotic behaviour pushes a system in
equilibrium into chaotic order, which means, in other words, out of what we
traditionally define as 'order'. On the other hand, complex systems evolve far from
equilibrium at the edge of chaos. They evolve at a critical state built up by a
history of irreversible and unexpected events. In a sense chaotic systems can be
regarded as a subset of complex systems distinguished precisely by this absence of
historical dependence. Many real complex systems are, in practice and over long
but finite time periods, robust. However, they do possess the potential for radical
qualitative change of kind whilst retaining systemic integrity. Metamorphosis
serves as perhaps more than a metaphor for such transformations [emphasis
mine] (2008).
Intuitively, I think the Cat in the Hat represents chaos – but this image is so tied up with my
personal symbols and childhood memories that the answer might be hard to sort out. But the
value of this intuition might be in recognizing that ―surfing the edge of chaos‖ is an instinctual
This project felt more challenging than any other undertaken. I have examined and
explored how others see me, how my ‗lenses‘/perspectives shape my learning process, how much
my sensory appreciation contributes both to the beauty and fullness of my life and the richness of
13
my thinking, how work and play form the rhythms of my life: a journey to the very centre of my
being, the way I think. It certainly felt risky; perhaps the reward might be characterized as the
group experience in the event I did not plan. Is this the germ of hope for the future of work life in
the organization?
Above all, the corporation demanding creativity from its own employees has as
much changing to do as their workforce. Like water flowing from an underground
spring, human creativity is the wellspring greening the desert of toil and effort,
and much of what stifles us in the workplace is the immense unconscious effort on
the part of individuals and organizations alike to dam its flow (Whyte, D., 1999, p.
21).
Market chaos, economic chaos, political chaos – this is the time we are living through. The
shoots of new life springing up sporadically in this global landscape remind us of the beauty, and
My curiosity and questioning continue unabated, not withstanding the recognition that
these are sometimes perceived as troubling, particularly at the end of long meetings or similar
circumstances. For me, it feels like there will never be enough time to do justice to all those
things that ought to be thought about. I strive for openness and tend to be very analytical when I
have a reaction to something: I want to examine the whys and wherefores of reacting, as opposed
to accepting, assimilating, or welcoming. Most of the material in the course I found quite
delightful, but the reading of the excerpts from the Successful Manager’s Handbook an
excruciating task, as previously reported. My puzzlement over my inability to grasp and retain
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these readings was quite genuine; I am self-disciplined and hard-working and diligently read
what was required several times. My self-analysis, which was in-depth and is here compressed to
a few lines, was that the very structure of the readings was what made them difficult for me. The
bulleted-list style and lack of narrative (rather like reading a resume) meant the information
would not ‗flow‘ for me. This is in direct contrast to the reading ―Surfing the Edge of Chaos‖ in
which I did experience Mihály Csíkszentmihályi‘s idea of flow: a loss of sense of time in a
heightened awareness of pleasure and engagement … a leap from synapse to synapse of a host of
ideas and images… This was clearly my favourite discrete little piece of the course. There was
My journal for this course consists of 32 single-spaced pages of writing, as well as dozens
of images, bookmarked web pages, and mind maps. I have kept a journal for 43 years now, so it
is not a new experience. However, I do remember my horror when I was asked to submit my
journal in another course; it felt like a violation of privacy because this is a place to explore half-
baked ideas and uncensored thoughts. My journaling has become more circumspect since – pity.
Journaling is not really reflective for me; it is more a marshalling of ideas, or hazy, half-formed
images and impressions which I reflect upon by discussing with other people. This discussion
seems to be integral to the quickening of ideas in my thinking process, though it is not about
finding an agreeable audience – just about bouncing ideas around. When I posted my ‗reflection‘
on the Juan Gris quote, I did hope someone would respond… I conclude from the lack of
response that perhaps there is a collective belief (at least in this group) that reflection is a quiet,
private thing. This ‗bouncing‘, ‗leaping‘, or ‗quickening‘ of ideas does sometimes happen for me
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without discussion – as in the ―Surfing the Edge of Chaos‖ reading – but it is this process that
The first few weeks of beginning the final project felt literally like ‗wandering in a dark
wood‘. I have accomplished half a dozen similar projects in the past year; what was different
here? My planning was quite orderly and I made many lists, as well as a mind map, but I was not
enjoying the task. I proceeded through my interviews with a sense of something missing…an
One day I was thinking of the instructors I interviewed, and reflecting that I disagreed
with that perspective on teaching. Suddenly, like a clicking into place, I recognized that this need
not be troubling, that it was perfectly proper to hold both viewpoints simultaneously, that in fact I
could take the best of both (or several). I think the best way to describe this is to say that prior to
that moment, this was an intellectual understanding of what one was ‗supposed‘ to do, but after
that moment it became a felt body awareness of ‗suspending judgement‘ meant. I still disagree,
so this is not about ambiguity…I suspect I feel more comfortable disagreeing because I have
genuinely made a space to look at a different opinion. The process of completing the project
brought new understandings, paradigm shifts, the experience of navigating chaos – in short, what
I experienced cannot readily be compressed. I have attempted here only the simplest of outlines,
and must strive for a few words to convey the whole, which might properly belong in the final
section.
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...On Changing
Part of the reason this project has been so difficult to write about is because the
metamorphosis is in progress. The first glimmerings of the process emerged when I recognized
that giving feedback was difficult for many people to do, and that to honour their courage by
listening – by being fully attentive with my heart – was the graceful response. The carapace
cracked a little more when I experienced the authentic meaning of suspending judgement: one
must genuinely consider alternative viewpoints in order to genuinely agree or disagree. The
cracking of the carapace helped to dissipate some anxiety, but not wholly. I have been working
on three papers simultaneously, and each time I come back to this I feel the vague flutterings.
Change?...
I became entranced by the minestrone song, and by the minestrone dance. This is not
about the ‗slow food‘ movement, exciting as that is…It is partly about celebration brought to
everyday tasks, but more about the shine and texture and passionate involvement we can bring to
our lives by engaging all our senses – and by playing with metaphors for those senses. I found the
minestrone dance best performed while wearing red pyjamas with pink and white reindeer on
them.
The mind map exercise took place over three days – I first drew the central image and
basic ordering ideas, and then set the poster-sized drawing where I could meditate on it. At
various times I would add to the imagery – once while I was in the middle of something else I
stopped what I was doing to add a piece. This process of meditation crystallized some ideas about
work and play – and about the rhythms of my life. None of these exercises took the direction I
first intended, and all brought results that were both surprising and disconcerting. I would happily
write another 20 pages about the experiences, but that would avail little, I think. A
Writing about the group experience was difficult, too – it was one of the best experiences
of my life. But ―boids‖ captures the essence of the feeling well: a free-wheeling, free-spirited yet
patterned flight…soaring above the clouds but conscious of a direction and purpose…few rules,
―You are lost the instant you know what the result will be‖ (Juan Gris, quoted in
TRU, 2008).
For each of us as humans, the final outcome is death, and we all carry that knowledge
within us. Of course, we do not know the final hour and day in advance, and that is the source of
life‘s terrible beauty and exquisite joy. Knowing the outcome, then, might be akin to knowing our
hour of death: the meditation upon the outcome would undoubtedly colour the experience of the
process. The ‗open‘ in open thinking might best be thought of as open-ended – what will happen?
What might happen? What could happen? Each of these might have potentially disparate
answers.
I had to reach very deeply within myself to conduct this project in a way that had meaning
for me. I recognized the anxiety that seeped out around the edges of not knowing and not
understanding. I had to break the project into manageable chunks to even let the process begin –
analysis was not enough to bring the process to fruition, but a useful place to begin. And I had to
sift and sort a mass of swirling, chaotic imagery – and also to sit with the imagery until the grey
clouds lifted. I suspect that the clouds have only begun to dissipate, but there is no turning back.
Now that the carapace has fallen partly away, I cannot crawl back inside.
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