the hurt before the fall

dedicated to my past-self
a heartbroken stream of short poetry. this one is mainly for
those who find themselves wondering about future love, or
reminding yourself of love that you once had. regardless
how heartbreak affects us, it all hits us in the same place. i
hope with this book, you get to take yourself back to that
place and realize how far you’ve come to where you are
now.
Copyright © 2020 Sean Donnelly. All rights reserved. This
book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used
in any manner whatsoever without the express written
permission of the publisher except for the use of brief
quotations in a book review.
she was water
but my glass
was too small

donnelly | 2
3 | the hurt before the fall
 my whole life i have been
learning how to appreciate
things but it never seemed
to work as i lived in a world
so cold and dull where the
sun couldn’t reach

then you came along with

your flaring beauty and
gave life to the parts of me that
i never even knew existed

but you were careful enough

with that flare as to not set
fire to the universe you just
opened and set free

you were genuine

you were gentle
you were compassionate
you were considerate

i have finally found

something to appreciate

you

donnelly | 4
5 | the hurt before the fall
 the way you smile
gives me goose bumps
but more importantly
the way you love
gives me hope

my sweetheart

donnelly | 6
7 | the hurt before the fall
 i don’t want you so
you can fill my
empty voids i
want you because
you make the
smallest things
enjoyable

you make the unbearable

bearable

donnelly | 8
9 | the hurt before the fall
if you truly love them
their pain becomes
yours

but you do
not
let your pain become
theirs

donnelly | 10
11 | the hurt before the fall
 i’d give you my
everything if your
everything wasn’t
already taken up
by somebody else

donnelly | 12
13 | the hurt before the fall
 when i tell you i
can’t think straight
it doesn’t mean
i don’t want to talk
it means that my
mind is too loud
for me to hear
you speak

donnelly | 14
15 | the hurt before the fall
 alone at mind
is different than
alone at heart.

donnelly | 16
17 | the hurt before the fall
 my heart shatters
over and over

yet i still let them in

donnelly | 18
19 | the hurt before the fall
 i can’t love
her when i
don’t even
know how to
love myself

donnelly | 20
21 | the hurt before the fall
 i feel my stomach wanting to throw up
i try to focus, but my brain can’t even
think of the smallest things and suddenly i’m
lost in an abyss, trapped, not paying attention
to my surroundings. my heart sinks into
the ground, put in a hole and buried by the
person who made my heart break into a
million pieces.

i look up at the shining stars

and notice how much they glimmer and i start
to feel jealous, knowing that they continue to
shine, even though they’re stuck in the middle
of vast darkness.

donnelly | 22
23 | the hurt before the fall
i thought i could not
live without you
but now i realize
i cannot live
without myself

donnelly | 24
25 | the hurt before the fall
you always praised our relationship
but now you praise my absence
and act like you never used to
adore what we had

donnelly | 26
27 | the hurt before the fall
 my soft hand
sweeping
through your windswept hair

i’m lost
i’m lonely
i’m lovesick

i miss it
i miss you.

donnelly | 28
29 | the hurt before the fall
 i miss being able
to make you laugh
at least then i was
actually capable of
doing something
right

donnelly | 30
31 | the hurt before the fall
every time you would
put a mark on your
body, little did you
know it would put
a mark on my heart
and i was running
out of bandages

donnelly | 32
33 | the hurt before the fall
 there must
be a reason
she said

i wish i knew
i replied, as a tear
fell from my face

donnelly | 34
35 | the hurt before the fall
 you
weren’t even
sorry

i
forgave you
anyway

donnelly | 36
37 | the hurt before the fall
 sometimes you can feel
the hurt before the fall
and when you get someone
to jump in the way of that,
they won’t stop it from hurting

you’ll only end up hurting each other

donnelly | 38
39 | the hurt before the fall
it’s days like this
that i need your
arms around me
while i listen to
the sound of your
heart beating

- loneliness

donnelly | 40
41 | the hurt before the fall
 if he looks at
you like it’s his
first
or
last time

keep him.

donnelly | 42
43 | the hurt before the fall
 when it’s windy it reminds me
of the times you would whisper
‘i love you’ into my ears,
when it’s raining it reminds me
of the times you would cry
so deeply into my arms,
when it’s stormy it reminds me
of the times we would scream
at each other in anger,
when it’s sunny it reminds me
of the warmth i would feel
by simply being in your presence,
but now i’ve locked my doors
and closed my curtains as i sit
aching in darkness without
you

donnelly | 44
45 | the hurt before the fall
 you were sad
so i tried my
absolute best
to try brighten
up your world
but you seemed
to enjoy the
silence and ache
of the darkness
and that broke me

donnelly | 46
47 | the hurt before the fall
confused between
tired and empty

donnelly | 48
49 | the hurt before the fall
 i never thought
that one small
thing could be
magnified and
ruin me like
this. it’s as if a
candle caught
flame and set
fire to the world

my world.

donnelly | 50